#so i’m like......... lol.......... life is mediocre sometimes?????

[maybeyoullfindthissomeday]

Carls,

If you found this, then either you were really lucky or I did something really stupid. Either way, I hope these words find you well. I think we were always firm believers in things happening for a reason. And maybe, I had to get through those "things" to be able to get to you, to enable me to put forward the best version of myself, because that's what you deserve: the best. Not saying that I am the best that this world has to offer, because obviously, I'm not. It’s that I know within every fiber of my being I would do my best to make you feel love like you have never felt before. You know more than anybody what these past two years took and what re-wiring had to occur to find true happiness, maybe something I’ve never ever felt before. Not saying things would be perfect everyday between us because it won’t be. There’ll be a few bad days and the mediocre days, but then those make the good days seem worth it, especially the best days like we had in Chicago, where I had an epiphany and fell for you during Illenium’s set.

Please know that I did try to let the feelings fade, but they didn't, at least not enough to prevent me from writing my shitty poetry for you. But you're here now, and all I can say is that I'm sorry. These poems might be seen as a violation of trust, and/or ruining the pureness of our friendship. It’ll be clear why I had to hide this, at least until the moment was right. So if you’re uncomfortable about the sexual nature of some of these poems, then there’s a link on the side menu to skip them. However if you’re curious, then they’re here for your all-viewing pleasure, but I beg of you to please understand that a lot of this is art and maybe release (not that kind, lol, just catharsis). When you write about love, sometimes the lust breaks through too, and also, sex is easy to write about, at least, for me. I hope you know that I rarely think about it when we spend time together, even though you know I��m a sex and love addict. I believe you know more than anybody that we didn’t become friends with each other for the reason that you were attractive and that there was a possibility of us being together. You were never a back-up plan, and you never should be. You are my best friend, and if there is anybody I want to do life with, it's exactly that, a partner in crime, a festival buddy, a confidant, or a soulmate. And there shouldn't be any secrets between such a pair... so here is my writing from at least since Chicago, and I’m sure you can read between the lines.

I’m ready when you are...

[stuckinapril]

don’t know if you’ve already shared (or if you wouldn’t like to) but i’d love to hear about your resolutions and goals for this year!

Hi so sorry for how late this is!! I have quite a few!

Ins —

Being more decisive. Trusting myself w calling the shots. Just making a decision and sticking w it.

Financial literacy

More reading. Just more.

Attacking things I’m uncomfortable with instead of shying away from them.

More silence. I don’t need to have my earphones in all the time

More time w family!!! I need to put in as much effort to connect w them as I do w my friends

Green tea every night

More pictures. I have a serious problem of just not being incentivized to take any

More scientific literature for fun!!

Piggybacking off that point—making it instinctive to apply things I study to real life situations. This is a niche one but it just helps me process stuff faster and I just think it’s a super dope learning technique

Pushing myself harder. It’s just not my preference to be mediocre.

Nourishing myself w my own affirmations. Cutting out my need for other people’s validation

Educational documentaries

Making more of an effort to connect w my Arab heritage

Being my natural self. It’s okay if I’m not bubbly all the time. Sometimes I just want to chill

Whole foods

Less phone time (I say this every year but like I want 2024 to be the year I’m truly disconnected/using my phone in a healthy way)

Body oils!

More tennis dates w friends!

10k steps a day

Sticking religiously to my hour by hour schedule

Keeping promises to myself as ardently as I keep promises to others

Being more bold w fashion!!

Hitting the gym 5 days a week

Reading more literature in Arabic and French

Learning how to cook. I cannot live off Siggi’s for the rest of my life lol

Exploring more music genres

Learning the piano!!

No longer feeling guilty for withholding information. Privacy is not a bad thing.

Getting more and more independent!!

Becoming the friend I want to be. Other people need to show up as well, but I can’t hold people up to standards I myself can’t reach.

Outs —

Centralizing luxury brands. Thinking that price equates to quality. The fact of the matter is quality equates to quality. Price is irrelevant.

Relying on snap judgment responses to situations. I need to learn to wait at least 15 minutes. I can be impulsive asf

Jumpiness. Nervous energy. I just want to be more calm and controlled in how I carry myself. I want to exude self-assuredness

Checking my phone first thing in the morning!!

Drinking less than 3 liters of water a day

Being available all the fucking time. If someone has an issue w me for being busy, maybe they’re not someone I want in my life in the first place.

Being too forgiving. Not immediately allowing someone back into my life doesn’t make me a bitch. Immediately running to fix things w someone doesn’t make me selfless. Being the bigger person in situations where I was nowhere near in the wrong doesn’t make me mature. It’s just symptomatic of a lack of boundaries.

Consuming dumb shit in the name of “keeping up w pop culture.” I don’t care about celebrity controversy #7282727. I don’t care about celebrity selfie #827226. It doesn’t elevate my life in any way. I legit just don’t care. And this goes for real life gossip w friends too

Taking too long to text back!! A day is fine, but sometimes I take longer and I think that’s a shitty trait to have. I can absolutely afford to respond to people faster.

Too much chocolate!! I’m a sweet tooth but I must preserve my skin/overall health

Motivation over discipline. I need to be attuned to discipline always.

Control freak antics. I can’t control people. It’s not my responsibility. They’ll act how they act. All I can do is control my reaction to it

Rumination/unhealthy venting. When I’m done w something, I’m done w something.

Overcompensating for other people’s shortcomings. It’s not my responsibility to coddle others. It’s okay if something is too much for me.

Having no boundaries w others. People aren’t entitled to private information. It doesn’t make me deceptive to withhold things—it just makes me selective. People need to earn private details about me.

Curating things I like. I simply like what I like. It’s not that deep.

[not-those-kids]

i’m gonna be so fucking for real

if you’re complimenting a game and saying it’s good by saying “it’s fine” you are not doing the game favors

like what legit reasons is the game GOOD?

are they characters as nuanced as you would want them to be? do you play bg3 and adore the complexity of astarion and can you even remotely compare that to a character like neve? or lucanis? think of any well written nuanced character, and do any of the veilguard characters live up to that character in your head? if so, why do these characters live up to that standard or why don’t they?

what reasons does never have for saving the world ? she wants to save her city? why does she want to save her city?

why?

W H Y?

does she have family? was she a mage in the minrathous circle? perhaps she saw the effects of slavery on a person she cared abt?

oh… that’s not part of her story?

but why does she want to save the world??

WHY WHYW H

why does lucanis care about his family? what does the game show to show his loyalty to the crows? why are the crows a faction worthy of being loyal to pre-antaam??

bellara at least makes sense but the veil jumpers dont so I don’t give a shit abt her. scout is just there. why? “because world need me savin.” uh okay any other motivations? nope. varric’s tangential connection to the team doesn’t give me his motivations. emmrich is cool. i needed to know why davrin didnt give a shit abt the dalish so that he could go and be a warden— maybe a negative impact they had on his life would’ve made me go! Ah! that makes sense!

i struggle to understand how any of these characters are remotely comparable to the complexity shown in previous games of Dragon Age, and even then though they were good— I’ve seen better writing characterwise OUTSIDE of bioware.

i think— and i’m being so for real— liking the game is just massive cope. It’s been ten years. We’re desperate for a game. There’s new twists. New characters to latch onto even if they’re mediocre and pale in comparison to older ones. Sometimes the writing has inkling of good but then it’s snatched away from the next scene.

The game represents hope to ppl, but actually looking at it with a critical eye it realllyyyy starts to fall apart. it’s why ppl are deflecting all criticism as “being negative/gatekeepy” and “bigoted” (lol as a nb person)

this is just the last star wars movie all over again, and once the “new and shiny” and nostalgia fades it’s the crap circus that bioware has concocted all along.

and if you view the rest of the games lore and writing all with the same critical lense it all just falls apart.

and i’m not sorry for wanting better.

[crimsonkenjii-writes]

dearest crimson!! i’m here to ask some self ship questions :3 heheheh, this time i’ve chosen a question for each of your faves too! 🫶🏼

For Aki: 🥥 - talk about a memorable moment in your relationship

For Giyuu: 🫐 - what's your sleeping arrangement with your f/o like? do you share a bed? do they cuddle you, or talk in their sleep?

For Kento: 🍩 - what are some irl things that remind you of your f/o? —

For Shouta: 🍧 - which of you is the better chef? what's their favorite thing to make for the other?

can’t wait to read your answers!! (〃ω〃)

eeee hi Mimmy!!! Thanks for sending in some emojis :3 ♡

Link to list of questions

🥥Aki: hmmm the first thing that came to mind for some reason is when I was outside with him while he was taking a smoke break. And I kept eyeing it and asked if I could try it. He of course said “no, it’s bad for you” but I just gave him a look and said “one hit isn’t gonna kill me. Cmon, share.” And so he does and then I fucking cough so hard and he can’t help but just laugh lmao. Of course asking if I’m okay and getting me some water but he found it so cute and endearing. He’s just looking at me like “god you’re an idiot. But my favorite idiot”

🫐Giyuu: (love how you chose the blueberry for him hehehe) We always cuddle in bed. In fact, we cannot fall asleep without each other lolol. I often fall asleep with my face pressed into his chest and a leg hooked over his hip/waist. His has one of his legs in between mine and one arm holding me close to him. Often times, we wake up in a completely different position but still touching. On days where it’s really hot at night, he usually has his shirt off and I have no pants. And we’ll settle for pressing into either one’s backs so that we are still touching but the heat of cuddles doesn’t kill us in our sleep lmao. I’ve been told I sleep talk sometimes if there is other noise when I’m sleeping such as a tv. So if we’re cuddling in bed and watching tv and I end up falling asleep before him, I’ll mutter and he thinks I’m speaking to him but then notices im actually asleep and he takes it as his queue to also turn off the tv and sleep. He’ll carry me to bed if we’re on the couch (ꢳωꢳ)

🍩Kento: Wrist watches, bread, refusing to do overtime LOL. Anything yellow or gold. Cute baby girl’s clothing bc I’ll think about our daughter hehehe. Any 7:3 haircut. Cafés and warm coffee. Any suit and tie. Nice dress shoes, especially if they’re brown. Hating capitalism. Big fat breeder balls

🍧Shouta: Most definitely me. This man has never cooked himself a meal in his life. He always bought shit like frozen meals or energy drinks that never fed him properly lmao. How he’s still standing is a miracle. Though I think I’m mediocre at cooking but making meals for him definitely gives me practice. He started to gain weight bc of how well I fed him 🥰 he eventually starts to try his hand in cooking too, as a thanks for all the meals I’ve made him. It’s a burnt and crispy start lolol but he eventually gets better too. He’s mastered a few dishes that he can do without looking, but he cannot bake for shit LOL (same Shouta same) I enjoy making him fried rice and he enjoys making me sopa de fideo. One of the first dishes he mastered since it’s an easy recipe hehehe

[alicepao13]

Rating the Kommissar Rex/Il Commissario Rex/Hudson and Rex human partners for funsies, in chronological order. Contains spoilers, some bias, and opinions based on superficial characteristics. I will take the blame for any distorted memories I have of the shows, although I did a full rewatch last summer. (Rewatch refers to Kommissar Rex and Hudson and Rex. I could only watch Il Commissario Rex once. Well, 0.75 times. I couldn’t find some of the episodes.)

Kommissar Rex

Richard Moser: The blueprint. Not necessarily the best one in my opinion (although if you ask kid me, yes), but they modeled at least two other characters after him in the reboots. Pretty nice (although a product of his time), street smart, recently divorced, and the first few episodes where he and Rex are getting used to living together are hilarious. Moser’s dry humor was good too, also his whump scenes where great. And I appreciated the nude scenes a lot (thanks, German tv of the 90s). 8/10

Alex Brandtner: The hot one. Also, more of a “new age” cop (new age here means post 90s, don’t get confused). Kid me didn’t appreciate the hotness but I watched it in my teen years, and oh boy. And the action scenes, while sometimes ridiculous and making you wonder why???, really showed the actor’s training in physical scenes too. I always liked the way Brandtner immediately bonded with Rex and then we learn of the tragedy with his own dog. Too bad his love life was even more non-existent than Moser’s. 9/10

Marc Hoffmann: I’ll be honest, I just didn’t care for him for the most part, but I did like the fact that for the first time there was a ship with him and Nikki. They went for a different style with this one and it shows. Marc is less type A than the previous two, not a bad thing, but by that point, it was clear that Kommissar Rex as a show was nearing its end and I think it sometimes showed. 7/10

-----

Il Commissario Rex (At this point, let me just say that I don’t associate the two shows with each other. And whoever has watched both, would probably agree with me. It hardly matters that the Italian show starts as a spinoff.)

Lorenzo Fabbri: Ugh, I don’t know what it is with this guy but I didn’t like him much. His style was a lot like Moser at first (adopting Rex, saving him from a miserable fate, learning to live with him, etc.). I absolutely hated the storyline with the forensics scientist throwing herself at him every chance she got and him trying to avoid her instead of flat out telling her he’s not interested, and then at some point they slept together??? Anyway, did not like. 6/10

Davide Rivera: I liked that guy but sadly we didn’t have that many episodes with him. He could have had more to offer as a character. More quiet than the sometimes too loud Lorenzo, and took some time to warm up to Rex if I recall. I liked that he took no flack from his boss (Sidenote: the boss didn’t like Rex at first and kept wanting to get rid of him, and I wanted to rip him to shreds). 7/10

Marco Terzani: I literally found one season of his episodes, so I’ll reserve judgment (if anyone has his second and third season, please give it to me lol or point to the right direction). He seems kinda reckless? He’s definitely attractive. ?/10, more research needed.

----

Hudson and Rex

Charlie Hudson: Started off as kind of mediocre for me, then he made me change my mind. When I started watching, I was hellbent on comparing every single thing of this show to the characters of the original at first, so I’m partially to blame for my initial perception of him. However, I won’t blame myself for the bad writing, pacing, and overall mediocrity of S1 that contributed to a big part of it. Anyway, they used some of Moser’s backstory (divorced, adopts Rex after his K-9 partner tragically dies) and expanded on it. Charlie has had the most development as a character than any of the others, which makes sense since he’s the first of Rex’s partners to live that long or not get rebooted lol. He definitely gets bonus points for having a love life too. And for not dying, despite all the whump situations he gets himself into. Definitely falls under the reckless category too. 70% himbo, 100% whump magnet. 9/10

[treecakes]

tagged by @loquatenjoyer69 thank you crow!!!

do you make your bed?

ummm if i have people over. or i’m going away for a few days. otherwise not really 😭

what’s your favourite number?

12!

what is your job?

i work as a student digital archivist ^_^ and photographer primarily dealing with artifacts. and most insanely and very recently a set of skulls. which i hated.

if you could go back to school would you?

i’m im undergrad still! for anthropology with a concentration in archaeology. and i want to get my masters in heritage preservation. i’m actually going to begin applications very soon…. after that who knows. but a phd scares me. and i’m content with a masters probably. lol.

can you parallel park?

ummmm maybe. badly.

a job you had that would surprise people?

no one believes me when i say i worked at a liquor store for over two years 😭 most insane job ever but it was fun and kind of low-effort when i worked mornings. which i mostly did. but my boss always Also put me on the register (alone!!!) on friday nights. which sucked so bad busiest night of the week and i was the only register. insane. but even customers thought it was weird that i worked there one guy told me i was too modest to work at a liquor store…? 🤔

do you think aliens are real?

yeah the universe is just so enormous there has to be other life out there, even if it’s not to the level of human intelligence there’s stuff out there

can you drive a manual car?

i can barely drive A Car.

what’s your guilty pleasure?

just really abysmal low quality shows movies etc. like i get so angry but that’s the fun to me i like it. keeps me entertained.

tattoos?

no but i have a few i want maybe. idk. i keep changing my mind but eventually i’ll get some probably

favourite colour?

to wear? maroon or navy blue. to look at? green.

favourite type of music?

indie/folk or rock. or jazz.

do you like puzzles?

yes!!!!!!!!!

any phobias?

if you show me a photo of a bug i get freaked out.

favourite childhood sport?

only sport i’ve ever done was x-country running in middle school and i was bad at it. otherwise i’ve always hated sports and will not partake.

do you talk to yourself?

sometimes. when i’m mad. otherwise not really.

what movie(s) do you adore?

i love kiki’s delivery service and mystere a la tour eiffel. that second one is kind of mediocre but i love it and have seen it one billion times

coffee or tea?

tea!!! i love it so much. i like white tea the most or if i have a migraine i drink peppermint for the nausea. but i have a whole collection of tea otherwise those are just my favourites

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

construction worker….

tagging?

you! the person reading this!!!! say i tagged you and i will smile so wide :)

[debuja5biggestwedgieeever]

Rawdogging life for months now after 6 years of antidepressants

My life has been so sad. So deprived. I had coffee at work and now I’m just angry

For ever thinking it will ever get better. I don’t even know how to receive or accept help at this point

My dad keeps asking me if I’ve called the psychologist he recommended to me, offered to pay for it, and I still can’t do it because I find it SO FREAKING HARD to accept help from him, after living my life never having asked him for anything, and not receiving much

My drive for drawing has diminished too, I’ve been forcing myself to make stuff, sometimes using alcohol just to try enjoy it more. But I can’t make anything up to my standard and I get frustrated. I see such mediocre unoriginal artwork getting so many likes and attention on insta. And it just makes me even angrier lol, you’re only popping off cause you have lots of friends and community. I feel like my art would be so much more celebrated if I had lots of friends and acquaintances. But I can’t help being so shy and isolating myself n avoiding people from a very young age. And it’s only getting harder. I’m realising maybe I’ll never be given the credit I deserve

Fuck Instagram and their algorithms though, if you don’t post every week you’re barely visible anyway

[thelonesomequeen]

The man has a net worth of $110 million. He doesn’t need to play PR games for a check. And this type of thing isn’t going finance a movie either when a script doesn’t even exist yet 🦎/// Yes but he is less and less relevant in Hollywood. His roles are meh he doesn't have Cap to cover for that anymore. He have to stay relevant in the business that is changing to streaming instead of theatrical release. This business always was trashy and now Chris is playing this game hard too. He just get catch cause apparently he can even fake a romans for pics. I don't believe they together. Maybe was are friends but that's doesn't matter. Likes matters lol. Not only for him but others too. That's how agency's gets those less known actors on top lol. It gain traffic and fallows for them. People gets interested in them and that's the pandemic effect. When we all stacked at home that was the only way for them and also people started to pay attention to likes and fallows more (maybe out of boredom). They signed contracts with them so it's in their interest to get them jobs, recognition and higher status in Hollywood. Chris is doing dirty things, stupid Hollywood games. It's just time to accept it and stop baby him. Just watch him burn himself maybe he learn something.

ALL celebrities play PR games to some extent to stay relevant with the public and sometimes studios. But I still don’t think his career is WHY he would be involved with Alba for PR if that’s what’s going on. I just don’t. I’m sorry. 1. It had the potential to backfire BIG TIME by making him another Hollywood cliche. And to a degree, that DID happen. 2. They aren’t in the media together enough for me to be solely convinced this is ONLY PR. The general public isn’t sorting through likes and follows the way fans do to try and connect the two of them together. That’s stan behavior, not public behavior. And they haven’t done a whole lot to gain PUBLIC attention. Gaining fan attention isn’t enough for relevance when we’re a much smaller group of people than a lot of us here on tumblr or LSA would like to believe we are. 3. If he was desperate for public attention, there’s so many better ways PR could have been done. They could have ran with the Sexiest Man Alive title so much further than they did, they could spin ASP to look so much better than it does, the public loves him with Dodger and they could have pushed for more Jinx ads and articles considering he’s a brand ambassador. PR doesn’t have to just be relationship related, and for him, highlighting other parts of his life has always seemed to gain him more favorable public attention. But that’s just my opinion and you’re free to disagree.

Here’s the other piece of the puzzle and I’m just going to say it. If he wants to remain relevant in Hollywood, he just needs to be picking better projects and concentrate on doing better with acting. That’s all there is to it. He’s a mediocre white guy in Hollywood. There’s dozens of those everywhere. He’s very easily replaceable. His acting isn’t strong enough to set him apart from his peers. He’s at an age where the younger, muscly men in Hollywood are going to start taking those “action” type roles (and if they’re new to the industry, they can be paid less) but he’s not growing at the performance rate of his peers or actors that are slightly older than him for more serious roles. If we look outside of Marvel, he hasn’t had very many box offices successes. Knives Out did GREAT, but he was part of an ensemble cast. A cast full of respected actors or those with enough public draw. He didn’t carry that movie on his own. Lightyear didn’t do well with the box office. It was ok, but it wasn’t great. Red One and Ghosted are both streamers that appear questionable in quality. I’m not saying they’ll be bad, but I highly doubt they’ll be scoring Oscar nominations. Pain Hustlers (again, another streamer) I think could go either way depending on how they play out the story line. Studios aren’t going to just look at a celebrity’s PR or who they’re dating. They’re also going to look at what it costs to hire that actor, if their acting chops are up to par on what they need in the movie, and if they can sell tickets based on previous box office numbers. 🦎

[we-couch]

15 questions, 15 mutuals!

i was tagged by the lovely @vintagelacerosette !!

1. were you named after anyone? no, my mom just wanted my name to be unique and match my sister’s so we both got uncommon 3-letter names lol

2. when was the last time you cried? last thursday bc my sister was mad at me

3. do you have any kids? noooo

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? a fair bit i think

5. whats the first thing you notice about people? i mean??? vibes? i tend to overanalyze all my interactions so ive developed a pretty good radar for Good and Bad Vibes

6. whats your eye color? blue but not a super vibrant one, they usually just look gray in pics

7. scary movies or happy endings? i don’t like scary movies but i like all other kinds of movies, happy or not :)

8. any special talents? not that i can think of :/ i’m kind of a jack of all trades but master of none. due to the adhd. ive played tons of instruments but am a beginner/mediocre at best, at all of them. i draw sometimes and sing but i’m not very good at either😭

9. where were you born? a small town in finland! also where i am currently. blogging from my childhood bedroom.

10. what are your hobbies? not much other than writing! i like to build and collect legos w/ my mom <3

11. do you have any pets? yep! two cats and a gecko, plus my childhood cat but she lives w my mom. my folks also have a few dogs but they’re not really mine and i’m not a dog person lol

12. what sports do you play/have played? finnish baseball for like a week when i was 7 😭 i’m not sporty

13. how tall are you? 172cm / around 5’7

14. what was your favorite subject in school? english probably!

15. what is your dream job? no clue! i like my job now but it’s not where i want to stay for my whole life.

tagging everybody!

[revoltinglittleworm]

i’ve been very slowly cutting things out of my life. i kinda feel bare right now in the sense that im very lonely and stagnant, not much going on, but im still open to vulnerability, change, and creation. i keep thinking about my future lately. i was doing pretty good at living in the moment but i have this creeping feeling that i need to figure some stuff out... 

i’m not really sure about music anymore. i find it enjoyable to make. im proud of myself for what ive done, even if it is kinda shitty. ive heard myself grow musically and vocally over the past year. and im like this with painting as well. ive seen that ive grown a bit, but i still find what i make pretty mediocre. and im fair with myself, i realize ive only been doing these things for a very short amount of time. 

the thing about painting is that with the process, its not something i always enjoy. sometimes i get the urge to start and then i do it and im like im not even having fun. like the motivation is there but the joy is not. i dont really get it tbh. i decided maybe the way i was approaching it and the techniques i was using was probably what was making it so burdensome. i have yet to try my new approach (which is a much more messy and flowing style) because ive been so busy with work and ive had absolutely no days off. luckily this week i have a bunch of time and im excited to do some art. 

on the other hand, ive been writing my novel pretty steadily. almost everyday, but not quite. sometimes its a bit difficult to get into the mood but once i do i can write for awhile. especially on the train i find it pretty easy, and then i get to my stop and im disappointed because i wanted more time to write.

AND THEN, im working on fashion. i spread myself a little too thin, i think. the thing about fashion and writing is that they are both things that come very naturally to me. (unlike painting, and even less with music.) painting is something that i struggle with and i know i am decent at drawing, but when it comes to music, im completely in the dark with it. vocally, musically, structurally. i could of course teach myself, but i think the whole overwhelms me. its a lot to learn and do and while i feel excited about it at times i cant tell if its because i feel like i need to do it because of an identity thing, or if i genuinely really love it. most of the time i think i do it because im like, well wouldnt be really cool to be an musician and have an album and music videos and perform? and like right now, yeah, that does sound fun as hell. but occasionally i will feel indifferent. or like its just not for me.

but back to fashion, im enjoying it, as little work as ive put into it. i want more time to work on it because what i have done ive enjoyed. i think the thing that triggers all these thoughts in me so often is capitalism... in an ideal world id have all the time to do everything i want, and no pressure at all to feel like i need to do things because of money, success, etc... i could just do them because i love them. its extremely hard for me to see past the capitalist lens. i want to be able to tell if something is right for me or if im just coming about it wrong. over the years my ocd mind has been so plagued by this way of thinking that i feel like ive hardly gotten anything done at all. im really tired of it, honestly. the only good part is that ive crossed a bunch of stuff off my list of things that i thought were right for me but actually arent. like acting for example, ive fully decided that isnt for me, lol.

anyway. i just needed to share and i forgot my journal at home so i had no other place to put all this.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

12 16 28 for writing asks!! ❤️

Thank you!! ❤️

12. If you write in more than one language, what's the difference?

Oooof, that's such an interesting question!!

I want to say that there are, in fact, many similarities in the act of writing, whatever the language, because the mental process one gets through in order to create a story tends to remain the same, and also writing in different languages is equally frustrating (that counts as a similarity, no?) but for different reasons lol!

Back then when I wrote exclusively in English, I sorta dreamed of how awesome it had to feel to be writing in your first language and I tended to envy the native English speakers for that. I though that if I were writing in my first language, I’d have a better grasp on words, nuances, connotations, I’d be able to play this gamut with much more subtlety, I’d have more vocabulary at my disposal and so much fun with it...

And all of the above is absolutely true. I do have all those things now that I’m writing in French, so did I get this promised bliss? Lol no, instead I got c r i n g e. See, being more aware of all the nuances of a language automatically makes you also more aware of the clunkiness and general mediocrity of your own writing. While English had this beautiful veil of mystery draping every sentence, French sounds so bland and cliché that I end up much more unsatisfied.

Also perhaps that’s the not-so-aware-of-clunkiness goblin in me speaking, but I definitely feel that English has more creative potential than French when it comes to writing. One can easily use a noun as a verb, slightly alter a preposition, and generally speaking the language feels more malleable, and that’s an incredibly enticing playground. On the other hand, French is more rigid, and I definitely feel this loss in terms of grammar liberty, but also perhaps I’m just more imbibed with French grammar rules than I am in English, which makes it harder for me to consider breaking them (that’s borderline Stockholm syndrom lol).

Oh and remember when I talked about widening my vocabulary when writing in French? Well, oddly enough, I feel like I tend to repeat myself WAY MORE in French than in English!

Tl;dr

English: lesser grasp of nuances, less vocabulary, harder for these reasons, richer creative possibilities, disminished sensitivity to cringe

French: better understanding of nuances, more playing-with-words and subtext potential, extended vocabulary, rigid grammar, cringe, cringe, cringe

16. Are one-shots really underrated?

As someone who's currently suffering throught the final chapters to a 70+k words story, YES!!! A thousand times yes!!! One-shots are life, one-shots are love.

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

Well, wiriting advices that work for me tend to come and go as I evolve in my writing habits, so for me, one advice that tends to work a lot for me now would be to just... write. Like, even when there’s no inspiration, no motivation, no momentum, just write down ideas, dialogue lines, snippets, settings, notes, anything, the bare bones of my story. It’ll always be time to flesh everything out later, but that’ll be at least a basis to start from because sometimes the blank page is too indimidating. I used to write pretty much out of instinct a few years back so this advice felt quite irrelevant for me, but this kind of writing mindset is getting harder for me to reach these days, and sometimes I just have to accept that the mojo isn’t here, but still I want to make progress in my WIP because the story is right here, I know what I want on the page, I just don’t have the spark. So I’ll just write the skeleton of it, for instance if it’s a dialogue I’ll just write down the character’s lines. Later I’ll add the muscles (speech indications, tones, gestures, etc...) nerves (character’s inner thoughts) and skin (prose embellishment). It doesn’t matter if I don’t get it all written down on the first draft, each step is still a step. And sometimes, doing so will trigger a much more satisfying stream of inspiration.

 Writing ask that I don’t remember reblogging lol

[softfuzzyships]

5 6 and 7 for any self insert of ur choice! I’m sitting and listening like a funny pajama party yknow what I mean .

omg thank u!!!! uhhhh oh no i guess ill use my hxh s/i this time. im sorry kura i miss u honey

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

nen fire breathing/channeling/manipulation cause its cool tbh. honestly the nen concept is still so complicated to me idk what to rly do to explain how mine works but....its there and its cool so. what do u want from me this is an anime /j

other stuff includes fun dangerous knife tricks, mediocre hand to hand combat skills, and being slightly more durable than the average human

6. does your self insert have any pets?

no cause theres not rly a lot of room for a pet in mine and kuras life....but animals do rly like us so sometimes stray dogs/cats will follow us around cause they know we're friendly. i feel them even tho kura frowns upon it (but secretly doesnt rly mind)

usually he finds me surrounded by like 20 dogs and has to force me home cause i wanna bring them all w me

7. would any other characters (besides your f/o) have a crush on your self insert?

probably not lol. i spend the most time w kura (and his gang and his pals) so....somehow he caught feelings for me along the way. and i love him so much <3

[floofymeow]

BL Thoughts (review…?) #1:

90 chapters with about 80 chapters of main story and 10 of extras!

I started reading this one like in the evening bc I was looking for smth extremely brain dead — hence the active choice to read MTL. I find that mtl is just the fast food of webnovels. It’s so easy to consume and mind numbing that I read it to bed gnjghvfjdkssss

It’s abt an MC with a small cub orphanage in an interstellar world who has downloaded this virtual lover game and has to pretend to be his lover — amused, the MC continues to play the game, only to find out the virtual lover has real life effects and ends up face slapping everyone who gets in the MC’s way.

I was so entertained by how many random arcs of things the MC would do — cooking, gaming, cub raising, singing, and streaming — and seeing random antagonist characters get out in their place scratched the usual trashy itch of face slapping bl.

I’m also just a trashy reader who likes the bl trope of online NPC lover is actually real sooo im pretty biased in enjoyment

The game scenarios featuring the ML were super funny, but sometimes they would only converse for maybe a scene while switching in and out ( I really wanted to see the ML more he was the typical attractive ML and I still ate it up) of the real world

Ok but the crazy part is I read it SO casually and by the end I was highkey tearing up from the attachment I built on the characters. Like the mc is so lonely 🥹🥹and he misses his parents so much and it randomly just kinda bludgeons u in a chapter where he just like mourns that his parents aren’t alive and he’ll never see them again 😭😭😭😭

Ignoring the fact that they were alive all along lol and got not even a single extra chapter cameo …… lfmaooooo

The ML was highkey decently fun and a chill break from the usual toxically obsessed “u are the only reason I don’t destroy this world” type deal… ok kinda not really lol!!! But but he actively worked on doing good for the world as it’s like AI ruler or whatever. The plot kinda cracked me up that it was a reversal of evil AI good government lolollllfhfhjfdjddds

The twists and overarching plot were very consistent and in line with what I expect from an 80 chapter wbenovell I really liked em!!

The worst part is despite how mediocre / rough the story was it still got me sniffling with tears for a few chapters near the end, bc I got really attached to wanting to see the MC succeed. It really felt like he deserved happiness bc it came across very well that he had been struggling for a long time before the ML came around 💗💗

Anyways blah blah no stakes ever blah conflicts non existent and could get easily bored binging blah blah ml and mc don’t actually have chemistry or personalities blah blah blah the usual stuff lol

pretty decent read overall would never subject someone to it

3 stars for making me look forward to bed every night hahahaha

⭐️⭐️⭐️

[icravemusicx0x0]

image source: apple music

rating music pls dont hate me #13 | utopia - travis scott

one morning on july, i pop into spotify. bored, i jumped into travis’ page. i jumped(in like bunny jumped) when i saw an album pop out of the discography section. finnally, this guy has returned with a new album. i, of course, hop on it and pressed play.

the whole album is a mess. if i would scale this from dystopia to utopia, i would put it in the middle, but let it lean more onto dystopia.

when it comes to travis i feel like it’s the production that i would talk about first. travis got a taste of alternative that is unique but safe to bite in. its like a more mainstream lil yachty. now that’s sound mediocre, and i, in fact, do feel to. but it’s kind of like licorice, sometimes i don’t sometimes i do (i have never ever taste licorice in my life).

back to the album. the album has a grand guest lists, like unnecessarily grand. i guess you can say they don’t do much for the album.

let’s also talk about k-pop, featuring bad bunny and the weeknd. hear me out, this song is bland, but i don’t hate it, and some of y’all. even so i’m not putting it on the good list so that i won’t be attacked by y’all.

overall, i don’t think this album is a great return for the rapper. there’s some bangers, but they don’t do much. it’s sucks that this isn’t a utopia, which means he didn’t solidify his statement on the title.

best track: my eyes - the last half is giving that one clip of some guy in outer space and teleports somewhere when he touches a golden butterfly.

tracks that i rec listening: modern jam, sirens, fe!n, delresto (echoes) - mother beyoncé ate as always, skits, lost forever - it was interesting, that’s all i can say lol, loove - this is giving rodeo vibes and i love it, telekinesis - thanks to my girl sza for making me levitate throughout her verse, why is future here anyways.

worst track: god’s country - wtf is this production (ironic huh).

overall score 4.5/10 - this is all opinion so pls no hate

[from the insta archive]

[m1ckeyb3rry]

FHE JUSTIN BIEBER GIF CRYINNGGGGGG LAMAOAOAOAOAO im assuming its the sae oaeu cooking rn

LMAOSOA YOUR POST trust I take all of your ramblings as rewards your brain is fr so big all of these fire ideas >>>>> ok but the pokemon au is so good…extraordinary….exquisite….remarkable (if you’ve watched as much pokemon as i have you’ll probably get this but if not just take it at face value) the Barou sibling angst is actually my fav

LMAOO YOUR MOM AND HER BROTHER THATS SO ACCURATE

ISAGIS HAIR I feel bad for his hair and his hair alone they always weirdly slick it back or comb it up and he looks like a middle aged man

IM CRYING “I cry but because I have to deal with his shit” LMFAOOO yuki fr tweaking atp or repeatedly saying his mantra in his head trying to keep his sanity like “god never gives us more than we can handle god never gives up more than we can handle god never-“

LMAAOA NO IT MAKES SENSE my brain just grouped up the letters that way that I had to double take ok so we’ve had kaneshiro possesses Mira moment and we get canon characterization of kiyora it’s time to freaky Friday reverse you should take over kaneshiro and write bllk i fr wish Karasu actually scored more literally my exact thoughts like “ARE YOU A STRIKER???” Channeling my inner ego…..but agreed glad he still at least has SOME presence and is consistently shown active in game

Bro kurona was so random…like with epinagi and s2 you can see them sneakily trying to add him in the bg cameoing to make him feel relevant but he fr was dropped out of nowhere like wdym the one who ranked fourth in second selection who we’ve never even seen a glimpse of and didn’t do anything in u20 is suddenly good friends with Isagi and others and gets field time HUH his first appearance is quite literally in BM when he’s holding the iPad showing Isagi Kunigami new stats (yk it’s bad when I rmr this info off the top of my head) something about the wording “using religion and blindness” has me laughing so hard LMAOOOO it’s giving that one meme “I’ve got the power of god and anime on my side” except it’s god and optic neuropathy UAHSHSHA ok but on a serious note that fr would go so hard like let’s expand on his character please….id honestly love to see more of him as he was shown in the LN because nel yuki is SO diff than what he actually seems to be based off the LN but anyways…

Kunigami being the main rival makes sm sense tbh when I first read I thought he WAS going to be the main rival but no it’s Kaiser ig….wait the morally greyness of wildcard being discussed would fr be so interesting…..guys….also ness is one of my least fav characters tbh so slander him all you want LMAOO gotta agree w some dudebros he’s fr a Kaiser glazer you’re fr cooking though….we gotta get you in touch with kaneshiro asap

LMAO REAL I also (clearly) enjoy bllk quite a bit but yes many things to be improved…sometimes I think to myself if only I was an Isagi Rin or Kaiser stan I’d be having the time of my life but alas we cannot be MEDIOCRE

Wait the terminally ill route fits his character fr….where he’d be unwilling to tell his family about it because he wants to strive to be the best despite it and won’t settle for a comfy life…I can also see him getting murdered though LOL either way I’m sure it’ll be good (even though he’s dying oops)

Yeah I lowk forgot people who have such audacity exist the Tullia hate kinda insane and just generally when people comment “he’s mine [chafacter] better get away from my man” ICK imagine in the tags you just put every reader pairing possible as a jic disclaimer like “reader and Tullia talk to men so beware!”

I always found the rival characters so funny like why are you jumping me when I’m trying to get to the next city no I don’t wanna battle you rn LMAOO it’s funny in how like every version you end up teaming up and double battling the villain team somehow but the way they come and go was always so funny to me

When you first said may I thought you meant May from pokemon but now I realize…anyways love Tullia sooo glad to have her alive!!

LMAOOOO Lowk I had a subconscious thought like galvanthla interesting choice (i personally collected joltiks bc they looked cute LMFAO) Isagi the most basic of basics so an all basic team is perfect for him LOL I mean hey you gotta have an op basic pokemon somewhere right I already consider infernape relatively more niche amongst most popular pokemon too LOL

Otoya using his pokemon as chick magnets is so real LMAOO I wanna analyze the breloom yuki vibe like why does it work so well

Nagi fr got the short end of the stick omg LMAOO ofc it had to be a fire type too for once thank you reo for spoiling him HSHSH

SHSHSBD THATS TOO CUTE I bet chigiri would take sm time grooming and caring for his rapidash too (in line with what we talked about for his hair and skin LOL) sometimes I forget you make money from battling LMAOOO like yeah I just beat your pokemon up now hand me my check

REAL BUT LMAOOO the light blue team never fails for him honestly when in doubt just match the hair color I can definitely see him genuinely having an aurorus and ice types though maybe he’s like (I like them calm and cold unlike my parents) hiori running a fossil pokemon conservation wait id never thought of that that’s also so real….atp this should just be an expanded universe that exists time to world build (on that note imagine Aryu grooms and styles pokemon for coordinators and especially furfrou, I forgot exact which gen you were into pkmn until oops I’ll elaborate if you didn’t get to kalos/xyz)

LMAOOOOO i was already linking up aiku and Brock the moment you brought him in lowk that interaction set up you have is so pkmn verse coded its great

I SECOND THAT if no other inspo comes out lowk pokemon au….guys…..also Noel noa being the actual champion while reos dad just holds the title is actually such an interesting dynamic and would work so well

SHSHS sounds like you’ve got it all down still praying for your safety though all those experiences in one lifetime is crazy

HAHAHA I LOVE THE CHATTER reading the convo responses brings me just as much joy as reading ur actual fics im always down for yap sessions

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO that’s just me irl tbh like i hope that’s what you picture when you think of me 🤩 surprisingly it wasn’t in reference to the oaeu!! someone had just posted that they wished there were more otoya fics because they’ve read all of them already and i was like “just working…working hard to please you” because i am an occasional otoya writer for sure

OMG MR REMARKABLE (i forget if he had an actual name KFNSJSN my brother and i always just called him mr remarkable he’s like that elderly man who has a tv show or smth right??) and HAHA tyyyy 🥹

maybe they do it like that to distinguish him from rin or smth?? idk but it’s specifically only isagi who gets the horrendous hairdos they don’t give ANYONE else that treatment 😭 i fr feel bad for the guy even though idgaf abt him…

bllk karasu’s like “can we switch places” because a universe where otoya’s not as much of a dumbass AND he has the chance to rizz up reader is the universe for him (he def is so pressed that hollyhock karasu never made any moves LMAOOO “wdym you lost her to OTOYA” and hollyhock karasu is like “i never wanted her in the first place 🤔” so bllk karasu is like “WHAT”)

HAHAHA possessed by kaneshiro fr i felt his energy flowing through me in that moment 😭 someone needs to get me on the phone with him like idk much about soccer BUT i can definitely cook in terms of characters and plot!!

I REMEMBER WHEN KURONA FIRST SHOWED UP I HAD TO REREAD THE CHAPTER BECAUSE I THOUGHT I JUST MISSED HIS INTRODUCTION 😭 agreed there’s such a discrepancy between ln/third selection/u20 yukimiya and nel yukimiya!! especially with that rlly cool panel of him in the u20 game where they’re like “his style of soccer is street soccer 😰⁉️” and he looks gorgeous af i was looking forward to more elaboration on that!! like really showing how he plays differently compared to the other players (maybe giving him some special weapon because of that kinda like metavision) it also could’ve been a really cool point of connection between him and kaiser given that both of them kind of learned how to play soccer in unconventional ways…but alas…here we are

NO BECAUSE KUNIGAMI VS ISAGI RIVALRY COULD’VE BEEN SO GOOD it would’ve built up the hype for kuni sm more and him feel much more relevant imo!! honestly along with wanting to know what wc is all about i’ve always wanted to know noel noa’s reaction to it…like his biggest rival from the past has destroyed this child’s body and life and future in order to make a copy of him THAT’S LEGIT INSANE??? kaneshiro could’ve given us such a scrumptious kuni and noa dynamic and then he just didn’t 😭

honestly i think one of the main problems w bllk is that kaneshiro is spreading the cast too thin and making people care about too many characters but it’s impossible to effectively manage such a huge cast given the premise of the story and still have emotional impact when stuff happens to them and that also means that characters aside from the protagonist aren’t given a ton of fleshing out (this is relatively common in shounen sadly…jjk had a similar issue but almost to the next level) where by focusing on lesser characters and just giving them insane depth the story would’ve felt much stronger ☝🏻 like realistically there’s 0 reason for kurona to exist in nel when reo (as per our earlier convos) or yukimiya could’ve easily taken that role and had their characters developed much more!! kiyora could also have been replaced with yukimiya (as much as i love him) and tbh?? get sendou out of ubers and focus more on aryu (how’d he go from number 2 in scoring goals to a defensive player?? flesh him out more instead of sendou literally nobody cares abt him…hot take but only memorable u20 players were aiku sae and shidou the rest did not need to be there), get rid of tokimitsu entirely (show how his nervous personality doesn’t jive with egoism) and give zantetsu + karasu more opportunities to shine in pxg (honestly if they wanted to keep the cutthroat feel of second selection then get rid of nanase too and show how kindness doesn’t cut it in bllk where you need to be insane; that way the cast is still large but these characters aren’t fighting for a main spot they’re more naruhaya-esque) 😰 and another hot take but they should’ve saved all of the other ng11s besides sae until the world cup arc (so no kaiser and lorenzo in nel) to really build the hype and stakes of the wc because rn it’s like…ok the bllkers have already managed to beat lorenzo and the whole kaisagi rivalry is going on so the ng11s don’t feel as threatening?? whereas they could’ve been a really cool obstacle in the wc and would’ve provided a baddie of the week feel and higher stakes without it being boring or random since they’ve been so foreshadowed already with sae

i agree i rlly like the terminally ill aspect it also explains why his pokémon are willing to go along with his possessed body (they’re not able to accept that he’s gone) as well as why isagi knows so much without him being a villain…it’s also just sad to think about like he didn’t want his family to worry about him but he wanted to accomplish his goals so he just pushed forward until he literally couldn’t anymore 😭 also now i’m realizing lowkey kunigami would fit better in barou’s role (given the whole canonical wildcard thing being similar to the possession) however idc because i like barou more

yeahhh unfortunately fandom people can be a little weird to say the least and especially now that i have a decent amt of followers i know there are going to be interesting individuals in my comments so it’s not even worth it to not tag…okay but hear me out i wasn’t even thinking about this when i assigned teams (nagi got his team based on cuddly fluffy vibes and barou got his team as all dark types because of his “villain king” thing and reader was forced to have one of the same pokémon as him for the sibling theme…of barou’s team i liked houndoom the most so that’s what reader got) BUT the parallels between nagi’s starter being arcanine and reader’s being houndoom kinda go crazy?? like they both have huge fiery dogs but as per the pokédex arcanine symbolizes loyalty justice protection etc and houndoom is like death hell horror and whatnot 😭 however as we know nagi’s aura is death and reader’s character’s main theme is love (for barou, for her pokémon, etc) so narratively nagi x reader would be so good…especially if they’re each other’s “rivals” but they’re not really rivals and half of the time are helping each other out…there’s a vision here and it’s cooking imo 🤩 ALSO i’m thinking…hear me out…karasu reminds reader of barou so he becomes like her surrogate older brother while they’re searching for barou and reader is the annoying little sibling karasu never had which makes him respect yayoi more and teaches him responsibility and maturity which in turn makes yayoi finally respect him too 🤔

honestly galvantula is such a random pokémon but realistically in terms of type matchups it’s absolutely CARRYING reader against barou’s team considering dark is weak to bug 😭 honestly it’s such a cool little pokémon i think it’s so fun for her to have it on her team!! and the gyarados plot line is going to be so entertaining (basically she gets scammed into trading a freshly caught pokémon for a magikarp and shenanigans ensue) that i think the basicness is excusable

otoya constantly getting girls via his fairy type pokémon vs reader and tullia being like “ladies STAY AWAY” who wins 😭⁉️ and agreed breloom + yuki goes so hard…tbh i rlly like steelix and yuki too it works surprisingly well

no literally justice for nagi 😭 the way the government did NOT gaf abt him is crazy like they could’ve at least given him a water type (although tbf he’s meant to show how the pokémon training system takes advantage of people so it makes sense) honestly though i love his character in this au he goes through sm development and his slowburn w the reader will be legendary fr

YOU KNOWWWW chigiri’s rapidash is SPARKLING he def takes such meticulous care of all of his pokémon (same w reo) whereas nagi’s just like eh as long as they’re healthy 😄 KFNJSSB so like manshine trio will be chilling and in their downtime reo will be brushing his cinccino and chigiri will be polishing his rapidash’s hooves meanwhile nagi’s arcanine is rolling in a pile of mud somewhere having the time of its life

hiori and ice types just go so well together (even though he only has one on his team I think 😭) and agreed i can see him retiring from battling after his arc w reader and co and following his actual passion of helping endangered pokémon instead of listening to his parents (maybe karasu inspires him because he also stood up to his family [yayoi] and that gives hiori the courage to do the same)

gen six is where i left off!! i played gen seven (namely moon and a bit of ultra moon) but i didn’t like them that much so as far as i and this au are concerned the pokémon verse ended with xy/oras 🤩 omg wait aryu as a pokémon groomer slays…maybe he’s the one yuki takes his pokémon to before contests?? and perhaps the itoshi bros are mentioned in passing as gym leaders in another region…kaiser as noel noa’s apprentice who’s going to be a new e4 member like isagi (but a bitchier one who never knew barou and never directly interacts with reader) and same with bachira + kunigami (kaiser to replace noel noa, bachira to replace lavinho, kunigami to replace chris prince, and isagi to replace snuffy) there’s just so many different roles that characters can play!! the world building would be so fun

LMAOO honestly aiku trying to be the rizzler but getting cock blocked by big bros otoya and karasu is so funny to me 😭 also speaking of brock link ups since we know karasu and reader are like a sibling duo i’m imagining otoya and tullia to have that brock and croagunk dynamic where she just punches him whenever he flirts with girls because he’s so cringe it’s embarrassing 😰 speaking of tullia atm i’m think she’ll likely end up with either chigiri (since he’ll probably pull up quite frequently as a nagi companion so there’s ample time for development), isagi (since he’s a classic tullia pairing and all), or maybe even hiori?? like her and hiori really hit it off and after the main story is over instead of becoming a show/competition breeder like she planned she decides to go back to his nature preserve and help in breeding for species conservation or something 🤔 many many options fr

NO BECAUSE LISTEN THE TIK TOK AUDIOS ARE BURSTING WITH POTENTIAL FOR THE POKÉMON AU i’m getting soooo many ideas for the story now!! like the entire gyarados arc, the aegislash arc (this one goes crazy because it’s basically “reader and nagi somehow end up in a period drama for an entire arc” yet it makes perfect sense given the pokémon verse and the backstory), EVERYTHING with barou especially the final fight between the cousins (i’ve decided they’ll be cousins but as close as siblings!! so y/n’s mother is barou’s father’s sister and her houndoom is barou’s houndoom’s sister so it’s like three generations of brother/sister-esque bonds making up the story), the random evil team encounters…i’m sure you saw but i put requests on hold for a few reasons: so i can finish the ones i have, work on the oaeu, AND also start this story hopefully!! also i want to deny people from requesting for a bit so the hype is built for my 1k event whenever we reach that milestone FJDJSJSJ

LMAOOO the craziest thing is that’s not even scratching the surface unfortunately i have had many insane experiences with men i’m sure you’ll hear about more whenever they’re relevant to the convo 😭 and YESSS i love chatting w you hehe always a little rush of dopamine when i see the little “anonymous asked you a question” notification on my phone (when tumblr isn’t an OPP and actually gives the me the notifs) 🥹

[soojoelle]

about me

Hey, I’m Sophie Joelle!

AFAB but I don’t really care about pronouns so you go crazy about it! Born in 1994 and mostly speaking English on any platform that I’ve linked. Sometimes my German ass still does a lot of mashup language. Which includes words from French, Korean, Swedish and Italian. I do use social media such as instagram, tiktok and twitter.

Tiktok recently made me realise that I am neurodivergent. Adding AroAce to that since I seem to not have interest in others romantically or sexually.

My main interests are Drarry fanfics, Young Royals, Heartstopper, The Maze Runner, The Hunger Games, Sex Education, LoL-Esports and Games.

Drarry FFs

I grew up with those movies, went to cinema at the third movie and all the following ones. Just this year (2022), I decided to read the books… and accidentally stumbled over some Drarry fanfic? That is apparently my personality now (I’ll be insufferable for you by toxik_Angel). So instead of reading the books, I now enjoy slow burn, angsty Drarry fics over books. AGAIN. ( I have some history with gay ffs in other fandoms).OH and one last thing, I am a Slytherin and my fav character is no other than Draco Malfoy. Sadly due to all the controversal stuff, I will distance myself to all the canon stuff connected to a certain person… but I will keep on reading nasty fanfictions about Draco and Harry. Recently been on a wilde readings spree. My tiktok got the hang of recommending fics to me and well, it's come to over 60 open tabs on my phone.

Young Royals

Discovered this end of 2021 or beginning 2022. Fell in love with Wilhelm, their lovestory and Swedish. Talk to me in Swedish and I’ll do anything for you.

Heartstopper - AND ALICE OSEMAN(VERSE)

Not a big fan of Graphic Novels so I only stick to the series on Netflix but damn… this is my new comfort series when I feel sad or down. Nick/Kit Connor is embracing my heart every time. Recently bought all the books and am now officially comsumed by Osemanverse. My favorite character turned out to be Aled Last from Radio Silence!

Sex Education

My fav idiot is Otis in that series and I totally got him up until nearly end of Season 2. After that we divorced and went seperate ways. Meaning, I felt his awkwardness with sexual stuff and then he suddenly had a sexlife, meanwhile me still advoiding it at all cost. Since, I’m ace…

LoL-Esports

Meaning I am a total sucker for LEC. There’s way too many decent Gamers that I want to pour my heart out to. My favorite player is Mikyx. As casters I rly rly love Daniel Drakos. Casting together with his duo Caedrel gives me the chills while I still don’t fully understand League in detail. Drakos and Vedius are producing absolutely madness music. Pls check those songs out:

• Edge of Infinity

• Reckless with my Heart

• Mediocre Rap Cypher of the LEC

Games

Main games are Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Dead by Daylight, 7Days To Die, League of Legends (Aram). Feel free to send me DM for adding on those games!!

Important. I am an absolute simp for Xayah (and Rakan).

BTS

You are looking at one rare Army that has been with them since debut. My bias is Jungkook, but each member individually gives me safe places that nobody irl was ever able to. I am so thankful that we walked together, without them I wouldn’t have become a nurse and settled in a good mental state. They literally cured the negativity in my life and inside of me. 감사합니다, BTS. These days I mainly listen to their music but don’t keep up with their content. Doesn’t mean I love them any less tho.  I've been quite distant from them since the solo songs of my bias, they made me upset and frustrated. Since they are in English and have a feature and they are about fucking. Which, while being used to some singers, I can take, but not by JK..

Small add-on, I do listen to other Kpop artists like Stray Kids, NCT, TXT and WOODZ.