#so i wouldn't have to start my day with a ptsd panic attack make your previous self have more or less of a crush on me??

[pixielle]

I used to have such a crush on your and Laney during the Free days

...

iunno how to respond to this anon. thank you?

i'll assume you were probably around our age back then and mean this innocently, and if so, that's sweet of you. it's wild that people other than us remember it, lmaoo

[jaykaysthicthighs]

The Path Of A Singer | JJK

excerpt | the appearance of your old lover pops up on tv, and the horrible memories showed itself once again.

genre | heavy angst, cheating, abuse, minor fluff

rating | 18+

warnings | strong language, present & past, toxic relationship, mental & physical abuse, jk cheating, panic attack, alcohol and drug consumption, lots of crying, heartbreaking conversations, jk being vile, lots of yelling, jk manhandles the reader, mention of abusive father, mention of ptsd, reader being selfless (you might not agree with the decisions she's made, but don't hate her; she's a broken person), maybe more

wc | 4K+ (very short)

notes | it's been a hell of a long time since i wrote and posted anything....!!!

my inspiration came from watching the movie insidious: the red door lol. the reason for the mature rating is because of the strong language, the heavy conversations said, and the talks of alcohol and drugs. i want to say that i'm not romanticizing this type of relationship or the behaviors of the characters, i'm just making a story that maybe some people might have gone through. sometimes the decisions made or thought of does not make you a bad/horrible person. everyone had a reason good or bad; you just have try to be understanding. i also tried to make this as heartbreaking as possible, but for some reason i feel like it's not. hopefully it does pull some heartstrings for you guys.

You finally arrived home after an exhausting day of work. Your roommate wasn't home yet, so, luckily for you, you're able to binge eat without the concerned eyes of your friend watching you.

You walked your way to the kitchen and made yourself some sandwiches, you also grabbed some water on the way to the living room. When you made it to the couch, you plopped down heavily. You grabbed the remote and started scrolling through the channels. You came across a channel that was showing a music festival, and without thinking about who might be performing you clicked on it.

The first performer was a group called XG. As they were performing, you happily ate while vibing to their songs. At one point, you started singing as well, not caring that you still had some food in your mouth. If the neighbors were able to hear you, they would probably think someone is dying - yelling for help.

When you finished, you got up put away your dishes, and made your way to your room to change your clothes. As you were changing, you felt a bit lonely. You and your friend don't have any pets, no companion to keep any of you guys company. You exited your room with a simple sweater and shorts.

You made it back to the living room with a content expression on your face, unfortunately, it wouldn't last long. As you were about to get yourself situated on the couch, you looked at the TV screen, and the one person you never wanted to see again was singing.

You fell to your knees with a hard thud, watching the screen with horrid eyes. It's been three years since you saw him. In those three years, you tried your damned hardest to avoid anything and everything that involved him in it. The pain he caused you still resides in your little heart.

You didn't realize but you started crying; the tears rapidly falling. Your body started shaking; the little goosebumps displaying your skin. Your chest felt heavy like a huge wave crashing on you, and the water is rising up into your nose, making it hard for you to breathe. You felt like you were suffocating, and the lack of air was making your head light; dizziness taking its place.

On the outside, you were frozen, but on the inside, you were trying to claw your way out. You felt like you were scratching every surface of your body, but you weren't moving an inch. Your brain was screaming for help, but the only thing leaving your mouth was the hardness and unstableness of your breathing. Right now, you were wishing for your friend to come home right now and save you.

Three Years Ago

You were in your car driving your way to your boyfriend. Jungkook's manager called you demanding that you come and pick him up. You don't really know what happened, but from how his manager sounded, you were thinking that he got himself drunk and high again, causing thoughtless actions.

Not too long ago, Jungkook was able to get into his dream record label. After years and years of hard work, passion, and dedication he was able to pursue his dream. What you didn't realize is that with Jungkook getting to follow his dream of being a singer, he would soon lose his sense of self. In just two weeks he was starting to drink, and in another week, he started experimenting with drugs.

As time went on, so did your patience. You would try and try to stop him - to help him, but every time Jungkook would stop your advances. Pushing you away and causing you pain made Jungkook feel superior, it made him feel proud that he reached a certain height in life.

Your guy's relationship now consists of yelling and crying. Jungkook started to mentally abuse you, but even so, you would accept it. You didn't have the strength to leave him - to leave the man you love since middle school. You couldn't leave the man who would write songs about you, the man who would wake up during dawn and make you a big breakfast, the man who would call you no matter the time, the man who would always tell you how much he loves you every second of the day. You didn't have the strength to leave him.

With all your anger, you finally made it to the studio in one piece. When you entered the building, the looks on the staff's faces were concerning you. One of the staff went up to you and told you to not go inside the studio. You looked at them judgingly and pushed your way through them, but they still tried to stop you.

"What is the problem? Let me through!" you yelled. They gave you a sad look and apologized, "I'm sorry ma'am, but Jungkook is very busy, and I don't think it's a good idea for you to go inside there." Your anger was boiling, steam coming out of your ears. "Sorry for yelling at you, but I don't fucking care if he is busy. Jonny called me saying that I need to pick this asshole up, okay? If you're worried about me finding out that he is high or drunk - even both, don't. This is not new to me."

The staff in front of you looked like she was on the verge of tears. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she got the chance, a disheveled woman left the room your boyfriend was in. You watched her with wide eyes as she left the building with a smile on her face. You stomped your way to the studio door ignoring the pleas from the staff. You pushed open the door causing a loud bang, startling the man recognized as Jonny.

Jonny swiftly got up and the first thing you noticed was the bloody nose. You walked your way to him digging in your bag grabbing some tissues for his nose. Gently placing it on him, you politely demanded, "Where is he, Jonny?" The man before you faced his eyes on the floor. "Jonny, you called me here, so, don't fucking hide anything from me. Where is he?"

The man took a step back letting the blood freely fall again. He shook his head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. I've ruined everything." You gritted your teeth and threw the bloody tissue at his face. "Where the hell is he, Jonny?" you yelled.

A second later, Jungkook swung the bathroom door open with nothing but some sweats on. Your heart dropped from his appearance. It was evident that he had fucked the girl from earlier. You guys made eye contact, and you could tell immediately that he was high out of his mind. "Get out, Jonny," you said without looking.

When you heard the door shut, that's when you crumbled. Your eyes started blurring with the tears that were coming. Your body shaking with rage. You walked up to the fucked-up man and slapped him. "Why? Why? Why the hell would you do this to me?"

Jungkook harshly grabbed your wrists and laughed. He laughed like what you had said was something funny. You can smell the horrible alcohol leaving his mouth as he laughed. "Because it's fun, babe."

The pain rippled throughout your body. You snatched your wrists away and bellowed, "You're hurting me! You're destroying me! What does she have that I don't? I thought you loved me?" Jungkook towered over you; he grinned, "I don't love you." Your whole world died. Never had Jungkook spouted those words. It tore you limb from limb, slowly but surely. And that was all it took for you to call it done.

You were fine dealing with his hurtful ways. You were fine being the punching bag. But you were not fine being cheated on. Even with Jungkook in this fucked-up state, not once had he said that he didn't love you, and not once did he ever cheat on you. You felt lower than before, and you didn't want to feel like that. You knew that the moment he started doing drugs and drinking alcohol, the man you once knew would be gone. Still, you had hoped there might be a tiny sliver of him inside, but today proved - his words proved you wrong.

Your eyes hardened and your expression became stoic. Without trying to sound broken you seethed, "We are done! You fucking hear me? I am done with your shit - with everything!" As you walked your way to the door, Jungkook rushed in front of you and pushed you to the ground.

The wind got knocked out of you; you started bawling your eyes. For the first time, you were scared of the man before you. Jungkook locked the door behind him and dragged you by your feet. You tried kicking your feet, hoping that his release would loosen, and you could run away. But before you knew it, Jungkook locked you both into the soundproof booth.

When his grip on you was gone, you scurried to the corner of the booth shielding yourself with your bag. Jungkook walked to you and kneeled to your level. "Don't hide from me, baby." He gently grabbed your bag and tossed it to the other side of the booth. You closed your eyes; you couldn't see the monster of the man you love.

You felt Jungkook tenderly cupping your jaw. You trembled beneath his fingertips; quietly whimpering. It stayed like this for a few seconds until you felt his touch disappear. With your eyes still closed, you could hear Jungkook digging for something. You heard a rustling sound of a Ziplock bag. You knew better, you knew that he was using drugs right now.

"Open your eyes, ____," Jungkook demanded.

You didn't answer, you didn't move. This pissed off the man in front of you. He slapped you, making your body jolt, making your eyes open. You brought your hand to your cheek, tears threatening to fall. "See, it wasn't that hard?"

"W-what do you want... from me?" you stammered.

Jungkook seethed, "You can't leave me. I won't let you leave me. You owe me. All that money I spent on you, all those years I wasted on you - I want that back! And the only way you can pay me back is by being my bitch. You are fucking mine, ____!"

You finally let the tears fall again. Your whole body shook like lightning shooting throughout you. Shaking your head, you wailed, "No! No! No! Please! Don't do this to me, Dad! Stop hurting me!" For the first time today, Jungkook felt his senses come back. Your words panged his heart.

Your mother was never in your life. It was always you and your father, but your father was an abusive man. He would try to find any little thing to blame you for, just for him to lay his hands on you; from hitting, kicking, even to cutting. You had met Jungkook when you were thirteen years old, he comforted, protected, and helped you. When you finally turned eighteen, that's when you moved in with him - that's when you finally felt peace.

Jungkook cupped your face into place. He frantically said, "____, it's me. Your dad's not here. It's me, Jungkook." His touch burned you; you felt like dying. You mustered all your strength and pushed him away. You gripped your shirt and yelled, "No! You're not him! You're not Jungkook! You're a monster and I don't even recognize you!"

Monster... That simple word rang in Jungkook's mind. Monster... Such a terrifying word. If he was a monster, his reason would be because of you. Unfortunately, all the drugs and alcohol in his system weren't enough to keep him sane for one minute. Jungkook launched at you. His hands wrapped around your throat, choking you, but still letting you breathe.

You started clawing your nails on his bare arms. Digging deep that blood starts making its presence. But all that Jungkook could see right now was red. He couldn't feel the pain you were giving him; he couldn't hear the agony in your voice; he couldn't see your wrecked state. Red became his friend.

"You are the reason for my horrible being. You are the reason why I'm a monster. You bitch! If you hadn't kept pushing me to pursue this fucking career, I would've still been the same. If you hadn't been so loving and caring and supportive, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I can't believe that I fell in love with a disgusting person like you. I can't fucking believe that I let you take control of my whole being!"

Right when you were on the verge of passing out, Jungkook released his hold on you; he backed himself on the other side of the booth. You were catching your breath. Your hands shakingly touched your neck, throbbing against your frail fingers. You were painfully coughing; mentally asking God to help ease your pain. Your eyes went in and out of vision; red and black dots were the only thing in sight.

Jungkook watched you with dark eyes. He watched as you were struggling to regain your previous state. He watched as you were crying from the pain, he inflicted on you. He watched the one person who was always with him, the one person who loved and cared for him no longer be the same. He killed you, painfully and slowly.

Present

"____, look at me. It's okay. It's okay." Your friend Lia gently held your face in place. She called out your name, praying that you would settle. She watched as you were frantically breathing; your eyes looking everywhere but her; your body shaking like the room was freezing.

Your panic attacks rarely happen, but when they do, Lia feels so useless. She wished that she could help ease your pain, she wished that she had the power to prevent this. But all she could do was hold you and tell you that you're okay.

Minutes go by until you are finally back. "____?" Lia cautioned, "____, look at me. Are you okay?" As you looked at Lia, you could see the worried expression painting her beautiful face. You hated yourself for making her feel like this, but you couldn't help it. This feeling will never go away; it gets buried six feet under, but once he appears they come back.

"Lia," you whispered, "I saw him again... on TV." Lia took a deep sigh; she hated the pain he caused you before and now. She wrapped you in her arms, holding you with such care. The second you were in her arms, you broke. You cried and cried, loudly speaking your pain.

Lia felt her shirt dampen, but she didn't care. Whatever you do to her, she will take it all in, as long as you feel better in the end, Lia will gladly be your tissue, your enemy, your punching bag. Lia murmured against your hair, "I'm here. I will always be here." She held you tighter; she didn't want you to fade away from her.

You took deep breaths to calm down your nerves. You pulled away from Lia and made your way to the couch. You brought your knees up and buried your face in the space between. You hissed, "I hate what he does to me. He's not even here!" This time you whispered, "And yet, he's able to bring me down to my knees... scared."

Lia met you three years ago; months after your event. You were just a newly hired TA. When Lia first saw you, you looked like a girl who was barely keeping her life together. You told her beforehand - when you started room mating with her, that you have PTSD and that your panic attacks happen from time to time. You didn't really tell her the whole story, just that you were in a very abusive relationship and that you experienced something so terrifying. She accepted you with an open mind and open arms; from then on, Lia became your rock.

Lia got up and sat right next to you. She wanted to ask you a question, but she was scared that you would hate her or push her away for asking. But this question has been in her mind for a while now. After taking a few seconds thinking to think it through, Lia wiped her sweating palms on her pants and inquired, "____, if you don't mind me asking... why didn't you call the police on him? You should've, 'cause I don't think he should be performing after everything he's done to you."

Your eyes started getting blurry; you told yourself the exact same thing, but there was a reason. With your head still buried, you softly replied, "It's easier said than done, Lia. I wished I called the police on him - I wish I could call the police on him, but I can't. Because in simple words... I love him. I hate myself for loving him. Even after everything he has done to me, and everything he has said to me, I love him. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Lia felt herself invisibly jumping out of the couch. No way does she think you're a horrible person. You're just a person who's been through something horribly traumatic. Her heart was filled with so much pain for you. Lia positioned herself so she was facing your small figure, and expressed, "____, no way in hell are you a horrible person. Far from it! I won't be able to say that I relate or know what you're going through, because I don't. But I am able to say that I'll support you and understand your feelings and decisions."

You lifted your head but still kept your eyes on your knees; you muttered, "I met him when we were thirteen years old. He was a very shy and reserved kid - hated social interactions. I remember..." you quietly giggled without realizing when you were remembering the fond memories, "I remember when he used to make small mixtapes every anniversary with letters. He wasn't always a horrible person. He used to be kind, supportive, and loving. One of my favorite things about him was his selflessness towards me. I loved that he would always think about my needs, what I wanted, what I was thinking, and how I was feeling, but in turn, he did the opposite for himself. It was a blessing and a curse."

Lia looked at you and saw the small smile showing. This look was rare for you, and every time it made its appearance, Lia would always treasure it. "He must have been a great person for you to smile like that." You furrowed your brows; you turned to Lia with confusion. "What smile?" you questioned. Lia rolled her eyes, "Well, there's no smile anymore."

You took a deep sigh and apologized, "I'm sorry for talking about him. It's just - just talking about him in this light makes me happy and warm... even if it only lasts for a few seconds." Lia noticed that you started tearing up. Your face was slightly contorted with pain; you were trying not to cry, holding it in but it didn't work. Your tears were freely falling, and Lia comforted you once again. You quietly whimpered, "During that time I called him a monster, but really, I don't want to remember him as the monster in my life because at one point he used to be my prince who saved me from one. I try to think and talk about him in this beautiful light that he used to be under - I want to remember him as that, but the pain he brought upon me is too hard to ignore." You started wailing at this point, "It continues to haunt me, and I hate it! I want to hate him, but I can't! I can't!"

Lia felt herself crying for your pain. She felt herself slowly dying by your words. It truly kills her that her most precious and beautiful friend is going through so much pain. As you both cried into each other's arms, you could hear Lia continuously apologize through her cries. You were so grateful to have such an amazing person as her.

Once you were calmed down, you pulled away from the still tearful woman and wiped her tears away. "Don't cry anymore, Lia." you sniffled, "What happened to me - what's still happening to me would never be fully cured, but I know that whatever happens next, you'll be by my side, and slowly but surely, I won't be able to be to feel the pain anymore. Okay?" Lia nodded her head with a soft smile. You're right, as long as she's with you and as long as you are with her everything will be fine. You guys are each other's glue - each other's person.

There is no doubt in your mind that this pain will pass by. You don't know how long that will take, but until the day comes, having Lia with you eases your heart from pain as much as possible.

"You mailed her my letter?"

"Yes, Jungkook."

The tired man finished his show with a bang, and even though people enjoyed his performance, Jungkook couldn't seem to feel all that happy. For the past year since he finished his rehab, nothing has felt more depressing.

The morning of that night when he woke up, Jonny had told him that you had left, and he was to go to rehab immediately. He hated you for leaving, he hated that you left him in such a messy state. Jungkook blamed everything on you. Jonny had told the ill man that if it wasn't for you, everything that he had worked so hard on would go down the drain. At first, Jungkook didn't understand why you left or what Jonny was saying, but as time went on, he knew that everything was his fault. His addictions and his abusive behavior were all his fault. The reason for your disappearance was his fault. Your pain - everything was all him.

Jungkook knows that there will be no way for him to fix the things he has done and the things he had said, but even so, he would try his damn hardest to fix it. When he finished rehab, Jungkook made it a mission to send you a letter every week, telling you about his days throughout the week, how much he loves and cares for you, telling you how much he is so regretful. Deep down he knows that he is being selfish, he knows that he should let you go - let you move on, but the helpless man is stuck in the past. The past is what keeps him alive. The past is his only source of reason. Jungkook doesn't want to let go of that one thing he has left of you.

Jonny felt so much pity for the man, he didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't know your address. He would accept the letters, promising that he would mail them, but when night rolls around your letters would be burned. Jonny wanted to quit being Jungkook's manager, but you begged and begged for him to stay with the broken singer. You wanted Jungkook to at least have one person for him to lean on when things get hard. Jonny admires your strength - how strong of a woman you are, so, he agreed.

"You should just stop already, Jungkook. She's never gonna mail you back. I know your reason, but you lost her, and you can never fix that." Jonny was getting tired; tired of seeing the broken singer trying with no prevail.

Jungkook walked up to his manager and lowly whispered, "You think I don't know that, Jonny? Ever since I learned that everything is my fault... I knew that she would never come back to me. Yet I still hope - even if that hope is microscopic or nonexistent, I hope that I will be able to see or be with her again."

The fatigued man took a few steps back and lowered his heavy head down. His eyes searched the floor trying to keep his tears at bay, but it didn't work. The salty tears of this poor singer escaped and landed harshly on the wooden floor. Sniffling, the fatigued man uttered, "You think I don't know that you burn my letters?" Jungkook lifted his head up and saw the ashamed manager looking back at him.

He continued, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, Jonny. I went to your hotel room to ask for a favor... and I saw you burn my eighth letter with sadness swimming in your eyes. I connected the dots from there, and I realized that you never sent any of my letters because you don't know her address, huh? You're left in the dark like I am, huh? You know nothing about her whereabouts, about how she's doing, about anything, huh, Jonny!" The manager kept quiet; didn't know what to say.

Jungkook slumped down on the nearest chair with a hard thump. He leaned his head back with closed eyes and softly whimpered, "I now understand the meaning ‘You reap what you sow’… I'm never gonna stop. I know I can never fix this, but I promise you Jonny, I will never stop. Ten years - fifty years from now, I will keep writing her letters... knowing that deep down all of this is for nothing. I don't care if I'm shaming myself by doing this - I don't care about anything but her. She's not mine anymore but I'm forever hers. Let me live like this. Let me live with the consequences. Let me drown myself in this regret."

The destroyed man opened his eyes and gently moved his head to the side to see the lone figure of his manager feet away. With a deep sigh, Jungkook claimed, "You're just my manager, right? So, don't involve yourself in my pitiful life. Just do the job you were hired to do, along with getting my letters. Don't care what you do to them - burn them, keep them hidden, rip them up... doesn't matter, just don't let me know about it; let me falsely believe that you mailed them to her. Alright? Now please get the car... I wanna go home."

[pseudoartistpostsstuff]

Hello. Can I request scenario of yan Leon getting arrested for kidnapped his "love" for at least a year and Reader visiting him in jail for the first time in months? Be it headcanons or fic is your choice.

Also please don't use daddy kink. I'm sorry but I'm just... not into it.

I hope you had a nice day 💚

I hope you have an awesome day as well, thank you! Also, I hope this will be to your liking, thank you for the request!

Notes: I may have written too much more than requested, sorry I really don't know what came over me (I wish I knew because dang)

This is most likely an older Leon, since cellphones and all, but you can imagine him up to Leon from RE4!

You didn't specify if you wanted NSFW or not, so I didn't put it, just to be sure, however if you did want it, do request! Be as specific as you want, I'll try to meet your expectations.

Realistically, Leon could have stuff like PTSD and/or panic attacks, but a yandere version of him would totally use it to guilt trip the reader.

I did my research on prison visitation, keyword, my, it may be wrong, I've never visited anyone in prison, or in the US, for that matter.

TWs: Yanderism, Probably unrealistic lock picking, Kidnapping, Financial dependence, Implied NSFW, Guilt tripping, Implied stalking, Off Screen panic attacks, Stockholm syndrome.

Yandere!Leon S Kennedy x Reader

I may be late for Christmas

Yours and Leon's relationship was troubled, to say the least. Of course, you weren't surprised when it came tumbling down.

From the start, Leon had problems, however you had rose colored glasses on. From the start, you should have expected an end to the relationship, one that probably wouldn't be calm and pacific like anyone would hope for.

Leon was full of secrets, Leon was clingy, Leon was a manipulator, Leon was possessive, Leon was controlling and on top of all, he was obsessed with you. Only, you took too long to notice it.

Leon let you know from the start that he hardly had any free time, his job was time-consuming as it had him go away on long work trips, and that was okay, it was his job and the way he went about his life was none of your business. You didn't mind, in the very start, that is.

The fact he never disclosed anything about his job to you, besides that he worked for the government, was only a small part of the process that was you wanting to give up your relationship.

Because of his lack of time, whenever he did have free time, it was spent smothering you, and it's not that you minded the attention, but it got suffocating when you could barely do your own stuff, like go to your job, visit your parents, spend time with your friends and things like that. There was a wide list of things that Leon would complain about and try to coax you out of doing just to spend more time with him. At the start, you did push aside your basic responsibilities out of guilt for not spending enough time with him, letting him be your priority, like he always said you were his.

When you were away doing said responsibilities, however, Leon found other ways to make himself present, even if not physically.

That is, if you ignore the fact he was present, just not somewhere you could notice him.

Your phone was constantly blowing up, forcing you to make use of the silent option in your phone much more than you used to, having to deal with his grumpy mood when you got home, your phone full of missed phone calls and another fifty messages of "I love you", "miss you", "let me know when I can go get you" and "pick up the phone".

From time to time you checked your phone to see if there were no emergencies, sometimes having to excuse yourself to the bathroom to go and comfort him, soothe him out of his panic attacks. When those happened, his messages sounded more distressed through small changes one could easily pick up on, like "please pick up the phone" or "I need to hear your voice". Those times, when you did pick up the phone, he sounded like he was breathing too much, but at the same time out of breath, you could barely understand his words over the phone, something about him thinking you were dead just because he couldn't feel you in his hold.

As a result of those times, when he was finally calm enough to let you go back to what you were doing before, you were left pondering. You even considered the possibility that he could have been in a war. After all, what could possibly have caused him to have these types of attacks? You may not know much about panic attacks, but something told you that whatever he didn't tell you was just the missing piece of the puzzle, the one you desperately needed to be able to truly understand him, to be able to love him completely, the way that he so desperately needed, and the way you so desperately wished you could.

Besides arriving late at your appointments since Leon insisted on keeping you with him longer, distracting you with one thing or another until you were almost an hour late to stuff, most of the times you also had to drive to his apartment sooner than it was expected of you, even having to leave your job earlier just because Leon insisted there was an "emergency".

There were also those days when he basically made you skip what you had to do, calling your boss, friends or even parents to give some kind of excuse for why you wouldn't be able to be where you were supposed to while pressing your face deeper into the mattress to muffle your sounds underneath him.

Honestly, at the start, those were your favorite days. But you can only skip so many days in your job to get fired, and do so many things before your friends get sick of it and your parents grow concerned and distant.

You decided to talk with your trusted friends and see what they thought about it, and it wasn't very hard to understand that you had to reinforce your boundaries if you wanted to get your life back on track.

And you thought Leon would understand, you thought he'd be okay with it, that the conversation would flow smoothly and in the end, you'd both get what you wanted in a healthy way.

Sadly, you weren't exactly a lucky person, and neither was Leon understanding like you hoped he'd be.

The conversation was fruitless, in the end, Leon managed to make you feel guilty. Like you were in the wrong. You didn't press on, noticing that what was supposed to be just a peaceful conversation was now bordering on a discussion, one you didn't want to have, afraid you'd lose, even if you were so sure you had a fair point just hours ago.

However, Leon pressed on. He grew suspicious you didn't think about confronting him all by yourself, and he wanted to know who exactly convinced you to try and get your point across to him. He began listing your acquaintances, friends and family members until he mentioned one of your closest friend's name and your expression shifted for a moment, he scoffed.

"So that's who, huh? You really talked shit about me to them?" He shook his head and walked away with heavy footsteps while your guilt ate away at you, you betrayed his trust, even if you didn't really talk shit about him, only saying the truth while having a necessary talk with a friend who was beginning to grow more and more concerned about your well-being and safety.

But he managed to get you to feel like you needed to apologize and make it up to him. For that, he couldn't help but smirk in amusement once you weren't looking.

By making it up to him, one of the things he hinted on, was the fact you needed to put more distance between you and this friend that clearly didn't like him. Soon, more friends met that same fate.

Because of your lack of a job and inability to look for another one since Leon gobbled up all the time with you he could get, you were growing short on funds. Rent, food and other basic necessities starting to seem like they required a lot more money than they used to, when you were actually employed.

Even if you didn't express your needs to him, he started to notice how you seemed constantly anxious, and of course, even an idiot would catch on the fact that, if you didn't have a job, you didn't have money.

So he convinced you to live with him, which meant being a homemaker, basically.

Leon didn't ask you to do anything, but it felt fair, since he was taking care of all your needs you could at least do what you could to pay him back. He furrowed his eyebrows, tenderness shining in his gaze when you told him that, he pressed a sweet kiss to your lips before muttering important words against your lips. Ones you should have found alarming and not sweet.

"Love, I'm your boyfriend, not your boss. All I need from you is to stay with me and to love me."

He needed you to stay with him. Love was a second thought, a bonus. Not as important as just staying with him, he needed you, more than anything else.

His love was more than enough for the both of you, anyways.

You started to feel better, even better than how you were before, your's and other's concerns about Leon being swept under the rug. As a product of that, you felt like you should use the rest of the money you had from your job that you didn't need anymore to buy a Christmas gift to your parents, since the end of the year was approaching and you wanted to make up for the lack of visits and phone calls over the course of the last few months. That included spending Christmas at their house.

When Leon got home from another of his long work trips and initiated a long cuddling moment with you, asking you to rant about whatever you were up to during the time he was gone, as he always did, you thought that was the best time to mention to him about your little planned visit to your parents for the holiday.

You seemed so excited, wanting to bring him over as well, if only to enlighten the view your parents had of him, to show them he wasn't as bad as they made him out to be, and of course to make sure he wouldn't be left alone, since he hated being away from you so much.

He wasn't happy, of course not. Even if he was there with you, being in a completely different setting and place he wasn't used to and didn't assure was safe for you meant he had less possibilities of keeping you safe. And there was also the fact your parents didn't like him, even if you didn't tell him directly, knowing it could upset him, he heard your conversations with them and saw their texts on your phone. If even your friends were able to make you doubt him, your parents could easily put the wrong ideas in your mind about him, convincing you to leave him, the mere thought of it made his blood boil.

But as much as he wanted to express that to you, try to coax you into giving up about going, he knew better, he knew that could bring at least a sliver of suspicion into your mind, and given the previous circumstances, he couldn't risk it. He had already made it so far into the relationship, you were basically already in his grasp, only one step was left to ensure you'd stay with him till the end.

Taking away your chance of getting away from him.

Disguising that as moving you from his apartment to a whole new house at the outskirts of the city.

You didn't really question his sudden urge to move, or the location, but you should have, since one day, you just woke up with your keys and phone completely vanished.

Leon made a half assed excuse when you finally decided to confront him, but this time you didn't buy it, of course. Not even his pouty expression that normally made you cave in worked to make you change your mind about going against his wishes this time.

For the next few months, you both seemed to be in your personal hells. You made his life harder as much as you could, while he took away the last bit of freedom you had, finally and accidentally making you see how that freedom was merely an illusion, since he had been controlling your life from the start of your relationship. This made you angry, angry at him since he had no right to do this to you, and angry at yourself for putting up with this for so long and not standing up for yourself, for not listening to your friends or even your own family when they tried to warn you.

Screaming didn't work, apparently, not only his house had thick walls but he didn't have many neighbors to hear you scream, either.

Breaking windows wasn't a possibility, one strong shove of a chair was enough for you to find out about the armored glass Leon made sure to add in case you even thought about the idea of breaking through them. Of course, that didn't keep you completely from breaking the windows, the glass could be bulletproof, but at some point it had to shatter, right? But there was the fact that Leon would undoubtedly restrain you in some way from doing so before you could even get close to achieving it, so that alternative would have to stay as a last resort.

Then again, you could always pick the lock.

Common sense told you picking a lock wouldn't be as easy as it seemed in movies, but since Leon was away in another of his long ass work trips you had a lot of time to figure it out. More than enough, actually, since after using the bobby pins in many different ways you were finally able to get the door unlocked.

You didn't know if you wanted more to celebrate or cry out of happiness, so your body made the decision for you, running as quickly as your legs could take you to the nearest person, house, anything. You could even scream until someone heard and came to help you, any previous embarrassment that would have been taken in this situation was forgotten.

Safety was at fingers grasp, but to really be safe, you needed to file a police report.

At first, you hesitated to do so. Even after finally being in a safe space, at your parents house and away from the captivity Leon called a house, a home for the two of you, the one you spent a year in, maybe a few months more, since you were celebrating Christmas with your parents, as you wanted to do one year ago.

You were kind of one year late for the holiday, still, both you and your parents were happy you were alive and safe.

The whole police report filing was a hard process. You were reporting a government worker, one trusted and of importance apparently, their negative reactions made that really clear.

At the end everything went well, the reality surprising you by going against your nightmares and constant worries. The fact your parents had filed a report because of your disappearance last year having played a big part in it.

Leon was brought into prison. Finally letting you and everyone that cared about you rest.

For months, you didn't hear from him, nor did he hear from you. It was maddening for the man to stay in his cell, unaware of how you were and if he'd ever be able to hold you again.

He would, he told himself he would, everyday, that was the only thing keeping him sane. If he could even still consider himself sane.

He barely slept without you, spending his nights only being able to think, think and think some more about how and when he'd get out of that confinement to see and feel you close to him. He missed you too much, he basically only did stuff during the days because he had to, if he didn't, he wouldn't get to see you again, and he'd be damned if he didn't get to see you again.

What mostly kept you both apart were the joint efforts of both your friends and family along with the ones in the police department that knew about your story with Leon. After all, as much as you tried to rid yourself of your love for him, the one you knew wasn't natural but Stockholm syndrome, Leon wasn't, he wasn't trying at all to rid himself of the absolute love and obsession devotion he had for you. No, he was actually actively seeking you out, putting a whole lot of effort of his own into getting people to keep him updated on you, getting help from the ones that weren't trying to keep you away from him.

If he wasn't insane before, he was certainly growing closer to it now, being kept physically away from you for so long like that.

After months of Leon being kept in prison, you finally decided to visit him. Your friends and parents being firmly against it, but you were stubborn and they couldn't really deny you from doing anything, you were a free adult, you could do whatever you wanted, even if what you wanted was to go and visit your captor in prison, under the possibility that he could have changed, somehow.

They all knew you were lying to yourself. You knew you were lying to yourself.

There was a bit of hesitation in your step as you walked into the building.

Eventually, after you stated simple things as the likes of who you were visiting and who you were, along with proving what relationship you had with the inmate, receiving a quite weirded out look from the receptionist when you mentioned you were the one kidnapped by him, you finally got in, following after the guard guiding you into the visitation room.

You settled on one of the chairs inside the room, in front of a small table, another chair positioned across from you. Your eyes nervously wandered across the room, focusing more on the door you supposed Leon would soon come out of, your foot tapping against the floor rhythmically.

After what felt like a long time, but at the same time, not long enough, Leon walked inside the room, eyes finding your own quickly, his footsteps almost faltered, expression staying strong, firm, despite his glassy eyes and the slight quivering of his lip, small tells of his real reaction upon seeing again in so long. You were only able to catch onto those because of the amount of time you spent with him, he let his walls down for you, and only you.

You stood up on shaky legs, seeing him approach you with almost slowed down steps. Your worries about him being mad or having an explosive reaction upon seeing you again were discarded when he pulled you into a hug, not saying a word as his arms gently enveloped your form, his head buried against your neck, just feeling you. Your skin, your scent, your warmth, your existence.

The embrace lasted little, way less than what he really wanted. He held your hands firmly as you two stood in front of each other. You were still at a loss for words, should you apologize? Say you missed him? You were feeling a lot of emotions, most of them you were unable to even explain.

"I missed you."

You were almost scared when he opened his mouth, taking a short breath before speaking, his words sounding soft, almost like a whisper, his eyes still twinkling with unshed tears he was trying desperately to keep in.

He didn't say anything else. He knew what he did, and he knew why you reacted the way you did as well, he couldn't blame you for having done what you did, but he wasn't regretful for what he did, either.

The words stuck in your throat, you wanted to say the same thing back to him, but after opening and closing your mouth a few times he got the hint, moving on with the conversation, you had a time limit, and he wanted to make the most out of it.

"Are you okay? How are things going?" Leon gently pushed you to sit down on your chair, going and taking his as well, his hand not letting go from yours, positioning positioning your linked hands on top of the table.

He didn't want to ask if you had moved on, he didn't want to know, he wanted to entertain the thought you still loved him as much as he loved you.

"Things are okay, I have a better job now, better apartment…" Better life... The words went by unsaid, but he caught onto the hint. Your voice almost didn't register to you as you spoke, your attention being kept on your joined hands on top of the table, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. "My friends contacted me again. At least, most of them did."

You wondered if you should also ask him how things are for him in prison, but you didn't know if you wanted to know, you didn't want to feel guilty again, you already felt it enough just by thinking of him, confined in this place.

You couldn't help but feel like you had done something bad. Leon wasn't a bad man, he just… Loved you too much.

Sometimes, it was hard for you to remember that said thought wasn't one of your own, but rather one that came as a result from the time you spent in the toxic relationship you had with Leon.

"I'm happy you're okay." He didn't, but there were guards watching the two of you. He doubted he would get out of prison early if he said everything he was thinking at the moment, everything he wanted to do, everything he needed to do. If he did, his hard efforts to behave over the course of the months there would go to waste, your trust in him would be beyond salvageable, probably.

The rest of the hour went just like that, with Leon letting you talk about anything and everything going on with your life, like he did when you two cuddled once he came back from one of his long work trios. He noticed as the tension seemed to leave your body, the familiarity in the action bringing you the comfort you had missed for quite some time. It seemed your trust in him would take a while to rebuild, but not as long as he expected, or you, in fact.

When your visitation hour ended and the guard called out to you both to go back to your respective paths, Leon hugged you again, not resisting to pull you into a kiss, one he missed way too much. You didn't resist against him either, thankfully, making him smile in the brief kiss.

"I love you." He said as you pulled back, him letting you do so, unwillingly. "So much, too much."

"I love you too." The words came out smoothly, naturally. It had been so long since you last said those words to him, it felt weird, like you weren't even supposed to say that.

He smiled in response, walking away from you slowly, glancing back every now and then as you also parted.

His plan was in action, you still loved him, that would make everything so much easier, you'd be back in his arms soon enough, then he'd be able to indulge in you and give you everything he hadn't been able to in so long.

He'd make sure there were no loopholes this time, this time, you wouldn't even want to leave.

Just you wait.

[iblameashley]

Shattered

Civilian | Male | Gay

2,847 words Content: Minor warning for mention of panic attack. Mention of PTSD, Anger, Angst.

Follow up to I'm punny and you know it.

Simon ’Ghost’ Riley | Male/GN Reader

!!!SFW!!!

You walk into a war zone of Simon's making. Well, you actually kicked in a door to do it, but that's not the point. The man is not OK, and while you may not be able to help him, you can clean up the mess.

(Thanks to @loneghostwolf for permission to use this image)

It hadn't taken you very long to figure out 'Si' was in the military. Truth be told, you suspected it from the first time you met at the coffee shop. It was during your last appointment with him that it was confirmed. He was wearing a very tight tee and you could make out the outline of dog-tags as the cotton shirt hugged their form. Being respectful of his privacy, however, you said nothing.

You had six appointments under your belt with him over the course of four months. It was during this appointment that he told you he had a 'trip' coming up, and wasn't sure how long it was going to take. You nodded and said you understood. Simon also took the time to explain that the location was 'remote' and he likely wouldn't have much cell reception. “Well...” You pondered, “When you do have service, and if you're free, let me know and I'll send you a joke or a meme.” You offered.

His eyes seemed to soften at the offer, and you could swear there was a smile under his mask. He nodded firmly in agreement, and with that, you had a new contract with him while he was away.

*** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + ***

The first two week were silent, and you went about both your day jobs and your side-gig as a friend-for-hire. You toiled away at paperwork and emails until your eyes burned red from dryness. Late nights turned into early mornings and you periodically checked your phone for a hint of life from Si.

It was nearly half way through week three when your phone dinged at an ungodly hour. You rolled over in bed and were blinded by the light from the screen. “Fuck.” You groan, shutting your eyes quickly. It was from Si.

SI: Have about three hours before I have to go back to work. I was promised jokes and memes.

“Fucking Christ, Si.” You huffed. “Gotta pull a joke out of my ass at..” You glanced at the clock in the upper corner of this cornea-destroying device. “four-forty-seven.”

You head flopped back on the pillow with a 'whump' and you clutched the phone at your chest. You had promised to do this for him, and he was on his 'trip'. It wasn't his fault you forgot time zones existed. So you pursed your lips and thought of a joke through the fogginess of your sleepy mind.

You: Why were the middle ages called the Dark Ages? You: Because there were too many Knights. SI: That's fucking terrible. You: You're welcome.

And that was the start of your on-again, off-again communication with Si as he was on his 'trip.'

*** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + **

Six weeks in, you got another message from him. This time is was at least at a reasonable hour. The sun had cast the sky bright reds and pinks as it set, and you had been sitting on the balcony of your flat enjoying the cool breeze and downtime. Your workload had shifted and you had more free time. On top of that, one of your Friental clients was on vacation, so you felt like you could really relax.

The dinging and buzzing from your phone caught your attention. It was Si, again.

Si: Hit me. You: Coffee has a really rough time in my house... You: It gets mugged every day. Si: Hah.

Then another message the day after.

Si: Gotta make it quick, you around?

You were. You always were.

You: What did the socks say to the pants? You: Sup, britches. Si: Where the fuck do you get these?

A part of you pictured him laughing boisterously at your bad jokes, but deep down you knew that wasn't the case. He might huff out a low 'hah,' but Si, as far as you knew, was not a loud laughter. It would betray his broody lone-wolf persona. Still, you had a fond memory of the first time you did get a response from him. The light shove of his boot against your back.

And now that you thought about it, he broke the rules. No touching. You wondered if he had realized as well. You shook your head. No matter, the rules were really there for you.

*** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + **

It was just over two months in when you got a notification from the app that 'Si' had requested another appointment. He had access to your calendar, so you opened it up and clicked accept. He had requested a visit from you in four days.

“Must be back home,” You said to yourself. There was a stupid smile plastered over your face. Si might be a big, quiet, moping tank of a man, but he was easy to handle. You knew what was expected with him, and he was fine with letting you babble at length about any and everything that crossed your mind. He never seemed annoyed or frustrated about your endless chatter. He would simply sit there and look at you with those unassuming brown eyes. He'd nod and grunt and give one word answers every once in a while, to remind you he really was listening. If anything, he took the pressure off you, allowing you to be yourself.

*** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + *** ++ *** + **

You were not prepared for what you would find when you arrived at his flat. You stood at the door and knocked. No answer. You looked around the dimly lit hallway of the building and hummed to yourself anxiously.

'Maybe he forgot?' You mused. You foot tapped impatiently on the floor, and you kept shifting your weight from hip to hip. 'No. He wouldn't forget.' You reminded yourself. He was too structured for that. So you knocked again, harder. Still no answer. You knocked so hard the third time you sent spikes of pain up your knuckles.

“Si!” you yelled. “Are you home?” Your voice was raspy and filled with concern.

There was no response, but you did hear movement. Now your heart jumped to your throat. Was he hurt? Could he not respond for some reason? You mind flooded with the worst-case scenarios and you began to panic. Who do you call? Police? Maybe a neighbour would have a number for maintenance or the landlord. Your head shot back and forth, up one end of the hallway and down the other. You stared at the door, and finally your body reacted.

You hand reached for the doorknob and gave it a twist. To your surprise, it wasn't locked, which was unusual in itself. You couldn't imagine Si as comfortable enough to leave the door unlatched. But as you pushed it open, it caught on the chain of the upper lock and the door can to an abrupt halt. “Si?” you called in.

There was a grumbling, but no real response. “Fuck it.” You blurted out. You took a step back, sucked in a deep breath and aimed at the door. In one sharp movement, your foot connected with the door and snapped the chain from the frame. The swung open and crashed into the wall with a loud thud. You entered the flat timidly, and closed the door behind you.

Sitting at the kitchen table was Si, head in his hands and starting at the table, hunched over in a heap. You forgot how big this man was, even in this state. He was mask-less. You walked in and averted your gaze, you searched the flat frantically for his mask. It was then that you took in the disastrous state of the flat. There was garbage lying all over the place, dirty and broken dishes and even some furniture overturned and stung along the floor. Si had been home for a bit longer than you had assume, and it was not a good homecoming.

You located his mask frantically flung over the couch and you snatched it up quickly. You walked over to Si and shoved the mask under his face. “Put it on.” You remarked. “Please?” Your eyes were locked on the ceiling. He even managed to stain that.

You felt him pull the mask from your hand by the strap and you waited a few seconds before you dared to peek. He was masked, now.

Simon's face – well, his brows and eyes – were red and puffy, but he hadn't appeared to have been crying. His hair was a complete mess and his bloodshot eyes glared at you with emptiness, like he hadn't actually accepted you were here. “Better?” He asked in the most deadpanned tone you'd had heard from him.

“You look like shit, Si.” You declared before rubbing at the bridge of your nose. “Are you OK?” you muttered, knowing you were about to get the most useless of responses.

“No. Clearly, not.” he commented.

You took another look around the flat and noted all the work that had to be done. You gave an apathetic shrug and tip-toed over to the hallway closet to retrieve cleaning supplies. Carefully manoeuvring around the broken glass and ceramic that littered the floor like a mine-field. Something had set him off, an anxiety or panic attack maybe? PTSD? Didn't really matter to you, he couldn't stay like this. And since he wasn't going to offer up his feeling – his heart – for you one a plate, not that he had any left, you figured you could at least clean his home.

You started with the floors; sweeping up the fragments and remains of glassware and plates . You swept around his feet and took a bit of comfort that he was still wearing his boots. Under the table, around the fridge, and you double checked the base boards around the counter until you had a pile of his shattered property in a mound in his kitchen. Carefully you swept it into the dust-pan and placed it in a refuse bag before tossing it in one of his bins.

“What are you doing?” Simon finally remarked.

“Seems like you had a rough trip.” You declared. “I'm guessing you don't want to talk about, and that's fine. Its in our rules, after all.” You turned and beamed him a warm smile.

“You really care about my stupid rules at a time like this?” His voice was low and laced with annoyance and confusion.

“Its... kind of the foundation of our relationship, no?” You laughed. You balanced your chin on your hands, which were tenderly placed on the tip of the broom, and you wobbled it back and forth. “Something happened, and I'm not going to ask. But!” You explained. “I am going to get this place back in order because you don't live like this, and I'm not going to let you start. Isn't that what friends are for?” You shot him a wink.

“I pay you to be my friend.” The words carried an air of embarrassment and shame. Your heart ached at the sound.

You let out a frustrated breath and put the broom to the side. You turned your attention to the remaining dishes in the sink. The water rushed into the basin, splashing and bubbling as it embraced the dirty plated and utensils.

You reached into the got water and began scrubbing. The water sloshing and burbling under the movement of your hands. “I'd do it for free.” You finally admitted. You couldn't turn to look at him at first. The stack of wet, but clean dishes began to pile up in the other basin, and you could hear your heart in your ears. Feel your pulse beating, drumming, in every vein and artery.

“What?” He finally asked.

“I'd be your friend for free.” You nodded sharply at the wall in front of you. You bit at your lower lip, afraid you were breaking the rules of your contract. 'Was this too much? Too far?' you asked yourself as the silent moment moved forward.

“...why?” Simon finally choked out.

Your hands fell back into the sink, and your grip on the cutlery loosened. Your head dropped as you thought about your answer, knowing you were treading on thin ice. At least, you thought you were.

You cocked your head to the side to look at him. He was sitting at the table still, staring into the empty space between you two. His jaw worked tightly under his jaw as he ground at his teeth. You wondered if you had pissed him off, truly pissed him off.

“I... like you?” You whispered.

He snorted and shook his head. “That's the best fuckin' joke you've told yet, mate.”

You didn't really know how to respond to him. He was finally painting a picture of his self worth for you to view, and did it in so few words. Your heart sank deep into your belly as it dawn on you just how isolated his really must have been. Must be. “I mean it, Si. I'd be happy to just be your friend.”

His head dropped back down to the table. You finished the last of the forks and plopped them into the clean basin, dried your hands and pulled out your phone.

You opened up your messages and began typing.

You: What kind of music do windmills like? You: They're Metal fans.

His phone buzzed across the table and a moment later there was a gruff, hoarse chuckle. “Go fuck yourself.” He mumbled.

You: Why do Ghosts love elevators? You: Because they lift their spirits.

“Fuckin' hell.” He shook his head back and forth on the table. “I'm trying to be miserable here, can you fuck off?” You smiled at the disingenuous tone of his remark.

“Can't do it.” You shook your head and took a seat at the table.

“I won't push you to tell me whats going on, but...” You looked around at all the work still left to be done. “Can you give me something? Something to explain this?” You said waving your hands around the flat.

Simon just stared at you blankly.

“Mission go wrong?” You asked. Your words pushing at a boundary you weren't sure you had the right to touch.

His eyes widened as he took in the words that wormed their way to his brain.

“Mission? I was on a-”

You held up a hand and cut him off. Your heart was hurting at seeing this man in such a state. You didn't pity him by any means, but you wanted to reach out and let him know he could unload his burdens on you, even just a little.

“Dont.” You said curtly. “I've seen your tags.” Your fingers tapped at the table.

Simon rubbed at his eyes and let out a growl. He was most definitely annoyed with your line of questioning, but he also lacked the energy to put up a fight. He had spent the last several days having a tantrum, raging and destroying the remnants of his non-military life and wishing to sink the last of his soul into his persona. A persona he hadn't told you about.

But here you sat, staring at him with caring, concerned eyes and he couldn't understand why. He had never given you anything from this arrangement, it was entirely selfish on his part. But here you sat, your lips pursed and your fingers anxiously tapping the table.

“I failed.” He choked out. The words biting at his throat as his admission jumped from his lips. “I failed, and I got reprimanded.”

You nodded your head delicately. “Did you lose someone?” You asked.

Simon shook his head, but said nothing.

“Then it wasn't a complete failure, was it?” A smiled pulled at the corner of your lips.

Simon' hands fell to the table and he looked at you with shock. His masked puffed in and out as he breathed heavily into it.

“That's not the point.” He grunted.

You shrugged hard and stared at him. “Well... it is to me.” You fired back, a little more confrontational than you had intended. “You didn't lose anyone, and you came back home. Maybe its not a mission success, but its not a failure.”

Simon felt a crack in his armour at your comment. Like you had aimed perfectly at his heart and fired. It didn't shatter, he was too strong for that, but the impact of your words did damage. Damage he couldn't have prepared himself for. Someone cared that he came back. No one cared if he came back. He furrowed his brow, angry that your shot at him landed, but he couldn't bring himself to be truly mad at you. A piece of him lit up inside.

“Will you stay for dinner?” He finally asked.

You looked around at the kitchen and the few remaining dishes.

“We can order take away,” you chuckled. “My treat.”

Simon looked at you.

“My treat.” You reaffirmed.

Simon just nodded.

[anticomedygarden]

Percabeth hurt/comfort post Tartarus ptsd?

Basic I know but you can't go wrong torturing some comfort characters 😂

one of my favorite pjo tropes! so so true, thanks for the prompt. (you're my first ever prompter! bit of a landmark for me :) )

-

Staring deeply into his blue comforter like it held the secrets of the world, Annabeth didn't need to be a child of Athena to know that her boyfriend wasn't really there with her. It wasn't the first time one of them had found the other like this, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

He wasn't making noise or moving, actually not doing anything at all, which led her to believe that he wasn't having a panic attack or a flashback. Dissociation then.

After a lot of trial and error following the titan war, they'd figured out touch - especially involving water - helped ground him the best, so she didn't bother with trying to talk to him, not knowing how far gone he was yet. Instead she got some ice out of the water bottle on his nightstand, happening to glance at the few pictures she'd been able to bring for him to Camp Jupiter. Sally, Grover, Tyson, Thalia, the Stolls, Clarisse, and a few other campers smiled back at her.

If she'd known they were going to fall into Tartarus, she'd have packed a few more.

Turning away from the photos with a sigh, she sat down cross-legged on his bed and winced when the mattress bouncing got no reaction from him, so she gently picked up his arm in the hand not holding the ice and starting rubbing it up and down his tan forearm.

"Percy?" she murmured. "I'm gonna count backward from 100, okay?"

Predictably, he didn't answer, but she started her countdown anyway, studying his form for any changes. His jet black hair was falling into his down cast eyes, low enough that she couldn't see his seagreen irises. His pants were creased where his elbows rested on them, and she realized he was wearing the same thing as he was when his watch ended an hour ago. It hurt to know that he could've been like this for so long and she had no idea, but there wasn't anything she could do, not without leaving the ship vulnerable.

Then - movement. His hand twitched; she didn't dare stop, though, not wanting to risk backslide, just kept on counting and rubbing the ice up and down his arm.

A few minutes later, he pulled in a sharp breath and sagged a bit so that the only thing Annabeth could see was the top of his head. She'd lost count of how many times she'd made it to a hundred and back at this point.

"Percy? Are you with me?" He waited a bit and nodded minutely. "Can you try and breathe with me?"

She drew in an exaggerated breath slowly and let it out even slower. He didn't join her, so she tried again. This time, he managed a shaky, slow breath that almost aligned with hers.

After a few minutes passed and he seemed to be more present, she put the ice down on the nightstand, and he sagged even more, head landing on her shoulder like his strings had been cut.

She ran her fingers through his thick curls, illiciting a sigh from him. "Hey, baby."

His breath hitched, and she was afraid for a moment he'd start panicking, but she soon felt her shoulder grow wet.

"We're together," she whispered, hoping his words from so many (weeks? days?) ago would bring him some comfort.

They were still the most important words in the world to her.

At some point, his hands must have unclenched because she felt his nails softly scrape her thigh. "How long was I gone?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "At least 15 minutes, an hour at most."

"Damn."

Sadly, he pushed himself off of her shoulder, leaving it cold and salty. "What's the last thing you remember?"

He looked off into the distance, thinking. "I remember sitting on the bed to get to ready to shower, and nothing else."

Her heart clenched as that meant he must have been gone closer to an bour. Do you have any idea what triggered you?"

"Uh...I think maybe when I looked across the hall and saw your empty bed..." He trailed off, and she nodded.

"I'll keep the door closed from now on," she promised. It wouldn't be any kind of major change since she never slept in that room anyway. The only reason it had been open was because of habit from Coach Hedge.

Now that Percy was present and they were both calmer, they started getting ready to shower, not wanting to be without the other. (Only shower. Neither of them were ready for more at the moment.) It wasn't long before they were climbing into bed together, both considerably more refreshed but exhausted from a long day on the Argo II.

It had to get better at some point. It just had to.

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 21 here //Series Masterlist

Chapter 22

Summary : A naughty phone conversation, a mission gone wrong, and loki finally meets your mom.

Warning: 18+, Phone Sex, smutty soft, dirty talking, mention of stalking, scent kink?, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, ptsd, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, praise kink, soft precious bean loki, sub loki, switch loki and y/n (they keep going back and forth, who said you have to be just one thing?)

"I miss you" you mumbled as you sighed and you could hear him smiling on the other side of the phone.

"It has been long since we have seen each other, I miss you too" you giggled as he said that.

"I don't even remember the last time we met..do you?" You heard a little laughter from him as you said that.

"Hmmmm let me ponder over it for a moment. Oh it was yesterday..yes that's too long" he mumbled as he laid down on the bed. He had just gotten out of a shower after a long day, unfortunately he wouldn't be getting much rest tonight because he had to leave for a mission.

"I have to sleep alone again huhh "

"I know I am not too stoked about it either" he smiled.

"So you'll be leaving for this thing around 3am?"

"Yes"

"That's too early, is this mission going to be dangerous?"

"Nothing too dangerous for your man" he chuckled.

"It's just 12 here so it must be 1 around there..do you want to take a nap untill then?" He sighed as you said that. He didn't want a nap, he wanted to talk to you.

"Are you sleepy my love?"

"Noooo.. not yet"

"Then I do not wish for a nap, let me just talk to you precious bird of mine" you giggled as he said that.

"Mmmhmm what are you wearing hot stuff?" He chuckled at the nickname though he had an inkling that this conversation would lead somewhere filthy.

"I am in bed darling..you know what I wear in bed and that is nothing"

"Mmmhm that's a nice view from top, is there a sheet covering your lower half?" He placed one of his arms under his head before he put the phone on speaker and laid it on his chest.

"Yes sweetheart. Give me a view as well" he closed his eyes as he pictured you on the bed.

"Well i have your shirt on and I'm not lying this time.. and a underwear "

"Is it the one with tiny bears printed on it?" He chuckled and you gasped.

"How did you know?"

"Intuition my love…is it cold in there?"

"Kind of, I like it cold, makes me miss you less"

"You cute little thing" he sighed and you heard some ruffling at the back.

"What did you just do?"

"I removed the sheet that was starting to bother me" you bit on your lips as you closed your eyes and pictured his naked self on his bed, his cock already hard and begging for attention.

"Goshh..am I making you hot?" A nervous laughter escaped his throat as you said that.

"You always do"

"Toucchhhh yourself baby" he gasped as you said that.

"You want me to touch myself?"

"Yeahhhh be a good boy and do it"

"Fuckkkk darling.. you're going to make me regret not being there tonight aren't you?"

"Well I do want to be the only thing on your mind"

"Don't even have to try little love, I'm doing it, have my fist around my cock" you moaned as he said that, you put the phone on speaker and placed it on the bed.

"Good boy, i love you, stroke yourself slowly..up and down..just like that" his mouth gaped a little as he followed your instructions and began to stroke himself, it's not that he had never touched himself in the privacy of his chamber and the shower stalls but having you tell him how to please him was a different kind of thrill he had never experienced before.

"Take the shirt off darling, underwear stays on"

You moaned at the deep sound of his voice before you pulled the shirt off your body. This is why you needed your hands to be free.

"Done baby..it's sooo cold"

"Mmmhmm bask in the cold for me..need you to feel it sweetheart, need you to feel me around you, every breeze shall remind you of me"

"Ohh Godd" you moaned as your fingers played with your erect nipples while the other hand went inside the waistband of your underwear, you have never felt so soaked in your entire life. You pictured him on his bed, stroking himself slowly, you could almost feel him around you, his scent was all around your bed.

"Are you dripping for me darling?"

"Mmmhmm so wet..I feel… slutty"

"Slutty huh.. Feels naughty.. doesn't it?"

"Mmm I can imagine the precum glistening at the tip of your cock, always gets me going" his breath hitched as you said that, your voice remained sultry and breathy, every word dripping with raw sexuality.

"Oh yess" he rubbed his thumb over the tip of his cock and used the precum as a lube to fasten the pace of his movement "What would you do if I was there?"

"Mmm if I was there..I'd lick it clean"

"Fucking hell darling, you're a dream"

"Mmm that's nothing..I have a filthy fantasy in my head, would you like me to share?"

"Please do share" he smiled.

You heard the sound his cock made as he pumped himself vigorously. Your own fingers worked your clit but you wished you had him touching you instead

"Just wishing I was there, on my knees, ready to service you"

"You want to serve me huh? How would you do that sweet thing?"

"However you want, but I desperately want to suck your cock" he moaned as you said that, his imagination went wild instantly .

"Ohh fuckkk yess, you keep teasing me with that ..one of these days I'm just going to grab you by the head and shove my cock in that pretty little teasing mouth "

"Ohhh God lo I wish you'd do that..I wish you'd just take me like that"

"I bet you'd like that .. want me to rough you up sweetheart?"

"God yess i want to suck your cock all the time and worship you like the god you are.. especially when you look so pretty like that" the furious fapping sounds only heated your arousal to the extreme, all your senses were at play here.

"Uhhhuh ohhh babyy my sweet baby keep talking my love"

"Ohhh God" you moaned at the petname that he had never used for you before.

"You like it when I call you that?"

"You have never done that before..I love it..goshh I can't stop thinking about sucking your cock, it's so filthy but it feels so good"

"I know it does. Close your eyes and just think of me standing at the edge of your bed"

"Oh that's so hot..I'm picturing you all naked with your hair dripping, your cock hard and heavy, i would suck every drop of water off your glistening skin"

"Mmmhm.. and pull your hair up, I'd need something to hold"

"Godd yess"

"Good girl..now I have your lips wrapped around my cock.. eager to see how deep you will take me before you gag on it"

"Fuckkk lokiii ..I'm gonna make a mess of myself " you whined as your fingers pumped in and out of your walls.

"I need you to be a complete mess darling "

"And I want to..ummm noo..that's too dirty" he chuckled as you said that, the raging animal in him wanted to cross all the boundaries of decency. You were his to ruin afterall.

"Come on sweetheart lay it all out on me, I'd never judge you, I'll go as filthy as you'd want me to, I'm all yours to be dirty with" he whispered, his voice rich and seductive. At this point you'd have came just by the sound of his voice reading a dictionary.

"God i love you"

"I love youu"

"Okayyy umm you want to hear it?"

"Please tell me"

"I just want to press my head between your legs and kiss every inch of your cock, your scent intoxicates me lo, uggghh i want to stay there until that's all there's to this world, just the thought makes me so wet for you" his pace quickened as he imagined the scenario in his head.

"That is so lewd sweetheart..I don't know why you'd assume that I wouldn't want to suffocate you between my thighs if that is what you desire so desperately" you whined as he said that.

"Mmm I want that lo..i want it so bad..god I'm so close"

"So am I. Let it go sweetheart, just think of the next time I am there with you in going to fulfill all your dirty little dreams"

"Godd yes"

"Cum for me pretty girl..there you go..let me hear those pretty sounds" he slowed down his pace as he heard you cumming so hard, the breathy moans as you crumbled almost took him out as well but he wanted to last a little bit longer, the fantasy you had about him had brought him to the edge, he just needed you to tell him to cum. He stroked himself slowly as he thought about you just worshipping his body, your heavy breathing slowly faded and then he heard nothing at all.

"Darling are you there?"

He asked you just to be sure that you were still there with him.

"You thought I'd leave you hanging like this?" he chuckled as you said that.

"Never, i know you'd never leave me hanging"

"Mmhm..Good boy, are you close, baby?" He bit on his lower lip as you said that, he was no boy any longer, he hadn't been one for a long time but the way you just melted him and brought him to his knees with two simple words never failed to amaze him.

"Yess my goddess"

"Awhhh do you want me to tell you what to do?" You cooed and you heard a whine in response before he spoke.

"Pleasee tell me what to do" he whispered as he closed his eyes and stroked himself again.

"Just keep going baby..think about your cock in my mouth, does it feel good?"

"Soo good ..I want to cum inside your mouth darling" he whispered as he quickened his pace.

"But I want you to cum all over yourself baby ..want to know why?"

"Whyyyy …whyy please tell me why" he whined and his voice got higher and higher, he was going to cum soon and you knew that.

"Because I want to lick every drop of your cum from every inch of your skin" you heard him grunting as the filthy image filled his head, it was impossible to hold on any longer and he growled like an animal as his orgasm swept him away..

"That's it…that's a good boy, such a pretty boy" the growl slowly turned into a whimper as he rode his high, the sound of your voice only made him wish you were there, not just to make all these dirty fantasies come true but so he could hold you and have you pamper him like the good boy he was for you. He never needed much time to recover but he was so quite on the other side, you could just imagine him all flushed and pink in the cheeks, god you missed him.

"You want to take two minutes to get cleaned and come back?" You asked him so he laughed a little before he agreed to the proposal, his cum had splattered all around his torso and his chest, sone made it to his chin so he definitely needed a quick shower again.

In the meantime you also got cleaned up, put on a fresh pair of underwear and you huddled inside the blanket he had gifted you.

"I'm back"

"I'm here princess, are you all bundled up? Don't want you to get cold anymore" you giggled as he said that.

"Mmm you are so cute.. safe to say we'd never ever get back to being friends after that filthy conversation" he chuckled as you said that. Somehow this conversation felt more sexual than you two having actual sex and you both have done it plenty of times in the last few weeks.

"So that fantasy of yours where–"

"Shutuuupp" you cut him off as your cheeks flushed.

"Darling we need–"

"Nooo shushhh I said shushhh" he laughed at your embarassement, you always got so shy after the act and he always found it endearing, it was like having the best of the both worlds, the shy adorable princess who wore cute little underwear turned into a dominating little minx as soon as she was horny, he was blessed truly.

"That fantasy of yours is very tittilating is all I am trying to convey" you hummed as he said that.

"Mmm its not weird?"

"Darling, to know that my natural scent arouses you is very erotic in nature, so primal" you smiled as he said that. Every inch of him aroused you.

"Okayyy..I just don't want to make you feel weird"

"You could never my love" he mumbled but when you didn't say anything in response he spoke again,

"Are you sleepy now?"

"No baby I'm here" a yawn accompanied your words so it was less believable.

"You can sleep my love, you have to work tomorrow"

"Mmmm"

"Darling?"

"I'm here, i love you so much…so so much..it's crazy how much I love you" he smiled as you mumbled in your pre sleep hazy state. He truly wished he was there at the moment to snuggle with you.

"I love you and just so you know, nothing will ever ruin our friendship, you will always be my best friend in the whole nine realms and I be yours"

"Mmmmmmmm best friends forever" you clutched onto a pillow and made bird-like kissing noises over the phone. He didn't hang up until he was assured you had fallen asleep.

You woke up right around 9 in the morning, you had to be at work in like an hour so you hurriedly got dressed. You called Loki but his phone was unreachable. There was a voicemail he had left on your phone around 3 am so you gave it a listen

"Darling, I know you are asleep and I didn't want to wake you. I am leaving now and I would love to hear from you sometime later in the day, I shall return by the afternoon so perhaps you will hear from me" he chuckled and it made you smile but it also made you very emotional, you just wanted him to be safe and come back to you "I know..I just know you are tearing up now so I'm going to go.. Loki come on brother, we are getting late" you heard Thor's voice in the background and it made you chuckle "See you soon my beloved..never forget that I love you"

Around 4 in the afternoon you called him again and his cellphone was still out of reach, he should have been back by now and he was supposed to call you.

Anxiety crippled you when in the evening you called him again but his cellphone still had no reception so you finally called Jane and asked her if they were back, she told you that all of the Avengers had returned except Loki. Your heart went still as she said that.

"What do you mean…where is he?" Your voice choked on your tears and you heard her sighing.

"I don't know..Thor is looking for him..he just disappeared, all of them had decided to meet at the same spot once they were done with their individual assignments but Loki didn't return but he'll be okay y/n just keep yourself calm okay" she told you but how were you supposed to stay calm in this situation? He was missing, they couldn't find him. Where was he? Did Thanos take him again? Was he being hurt again? Millions of questions were bothering you, you just wanted him to be back to you, safe, you didn't even talk to him before he had left. Why didn't you talk to him?

You had no moment of peace after that but around ten at night you heard a knock on the window and as you opened the blinders, you saw his bruised but smiling face. You quickly opened the window and he got in, that's when you noticed that those weren't the bruises but he seemed badly sunburned. He was in his green Asgardian leather uniform.

"Where were you?" Your eyes welled up so he grabbed your shoulders to hug him, as soon as you felt his embrace you broke down, he quickly picked you up and then you felt him stumbling on his feet so you asked him to put you down.

"What's wrong lo? God please tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Alright, but you need to relax my darling" you crossed your arms as he said that, you glared at him for a moment before you grabbed his arm and made him sit down on the sofa.

"I got severely heated at the mission"'

"You got what?"

"We were in this desert, Sahara, or something and i underestimated the heat, i collapsed suddenly and fell down in this open pit"

"Why would you go there? You know you can't tolerate that much heat lo" you raised your voice a little and he just wanted to calm you down, he had been through this feeling when he couldn't get in touch with you the day you had met Stephen so he knew how terrified you must have felt.

"I know that now, i am sorry I didn't mean to scare you like that darling, come here" he opened his arms so you sighed and hugged him before you abruptly got back up again. You closed the window and lowered the thermostat so it was freezing cold in your apartment.

"Take your clothes off baby"

"Really you want to–" he smirked but as you glared at him again, instead of finishing whatever innuendo he had in mind he waved his fingers and he was completely nude except for a brief that he had on, you came back to him with bunch of icepacks and sun burn soothing cream in your hands, you also had a bowl filled with ice cubes.

"Princess I don't need this, my immunity will kick in now that I'm back into the cold environment"

You put the stuff down on the sofa at his response and decided to storm away but he grabbed your arm and pulled you on his lap.

"I am sorry, i need it, fix me darling..I am sorry..hey I'm sorry" he kissed you softly and grabbed an ice pack then he gave it you so you placed it on his cheek around the burned area, the tears spilled from your eyes so he wiped them away with his thumbs. You grabbed the cream and applied it on the burn mark all around his face as gently as you could before you moved down and rubbed the ice cube on his chest.

He had a huge burn mark right in the center of his chest and it did feel soothing to him, he remembered how he was literally melting under the heat. He had similar marks all over his body, he was badly burned because of the scorching sun. Apparently he fainted and had fallen into a desert hole, it was only when the sun went down and the temperature got colder that he gained his consciousness back and came out of the pit, that's when Thor found him.

"You could have died" you sniffled between your cries so he shook his head and tried to kiss you but you pulled away, you just felt scared still. You actually thought something horrible had happened to him.

"I am sorry I yelled baby I'm so sorry..i was just scared" you cupped his cheeks and kissed all over his face as tenderly as you could.

"I know..you do not need to apologise i understand but i am here now, love me princess ..please love me" you cupped his cheeks and kissed him as his sad voice pricked your heart.

Safe to say he didn't go back to the tower that night because you spent the night loving him and pampering him as best as you could.

His job was risky, you knew that and whatever had occurred today had only made you more paranoid, you had extreme anxiety about the most frivolous things in life so this definitely wasn't easy, you didn't think you were capable of dealing with such a situation but you knew you had to learn to do that, you had to learn to be patient with his job, he was a strong warrior and he had been through hell and back.

And that night he had promised you that no matter what happens he'd always return to you.

"Okayy I'm apologizing in advance if she yells at you" Loki chuckled as you said that but then he realized you weren't joking, he was in a small city in Ohio with you, you wanted him to go meet your mother in person and he was nervous about it, mainly because he knew your mother hated his guts. He looked around and your mother's house was nothing like the buildings he was used to seeing in NYC or even your apartment. It was a typical two storey house in an Suburban area.

As you knocked on her door he grabbed your other hand in his to comfort you, he could feel you shaking with nervousness.

"Is this the house you grew up in?"

"No my dad lives there with his new girlfriend ..ummmm this is David's house, my mom moved here after wedding, ofcourse"

He nodded as you said that. As soon as the door opened and she had a look at him, she gasped loudly and took a step back as if she had seen a ghost, his brows furrowed and he stepped behind you to hide then he peeked his head to the side to look at her but she was just staring at him, still horrified.

You wrapped your arm around him and grabbed his hand to bring him back on your side again, you would have told him how adorable he was being but now wasn't the time.

When your mother didn't say anything you took him inside and that's when you saw literally everyone there, there was David of course, his precious daughters- Chelsea and Courtney, your mother's sisters and their kids. They all just seemed as bewildered as your mom.

"I said I wanted youuuu to meet him…you ..not the whole clan" you glared at her and she crossed her arms before she walked past you.

"Well Missy you have no right to be upset after this" she sneered at you so you sighed..

"Is that Loki? Avenger Loki? Oh my goshhhhh" you heard Courtney whispering, why the hell was she here? Wasn't she supposed to be in London? She was possibly creaming her panties already at the sight of him. He did look devastatingly handsome in that white button up shirt

"Does anyone get Mark Johnson vibes from him?" Chelsea mumbled, she seemed heavily pregnant now. You just hopeed she won't induce early labour to steal the attention from you. God you felt like a bitch around these people, they brought out the worst in you. Family right?

"Sit down lo..I'm so sorry " you mumbled to him and his brows furrowed but he complied to your request and sat down on one of the single couches.

"Mom, can I have a word with you in private?"

"Oh you want privacy now after you have humiliated me in front of everyone?" You glared at her as she said that.

"Ohhhh you are the one humiliated huh? You think this is humiliating for youuu?" You stormed towards the kitchen so she followed you.

"How long has this been going on for? And how did you even meet him?"

"He picked up the tesseract and guess where he ended up? In my apartment, he was living with me in my apartment for two months before he was caught again"

"Oh my lord" she put her hand on her chest dramatically as she braced herself against the counter.

"Don't be so shocked, you have met him already once, remember the dinner?" Her eyes widened as you said that

"I knew that day itself that he seemed familiar" you sighed as she said that.

"Look mom whatever notions and prejudices you have set against him, he's not that person"

"Oh how do you know that? For all you know he could just be fooling you"

"Why would he do that? I'm nothing special. Why–"

"Exactly my point. Why would he want you of all women on earth? He must have an agenda" She said to you and your eyes teared up. Sometimes your mom was the most insensitive person there ever could be.

"Maybe because we got to know each other mom, maybe just maybeeeeee although it might seem like a stretch to you but maybeeeee he just loves me for who I am even though you and dad had always hated me for that" you raised your voice but your voice choked up as usual, you felt frustrated and angry but the fact that you could never let out your frustration without crying was even more frustrating than your mom believing that a man couldn't just fall in love with you.

Loki was standing right outside the kitchen and all he wanted to do was grab your arm and take you away but he knew you'd never want that either, you loved your family and you needed them in your life. You took a deep breath to calm down, this wasn't the reason you were there.

"Look, If you'd just give him a chance you'll see him the way I do, he's not the man you think he is, he saved my life, do you know that? If it wasn't for him i probably would have gotten killed–"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not going to discuss that right now. Just get out there and treat him nicely mom or you won't be seeing me for a very long time" she groaned as you said that. Loki made his way back to the living room and sat down. David offered him a cup of tea which he gladly accepted. After a minute or two you returned with your mom and you asked him to scooch on the couch so you could sit next to him. You felt his hand rubbing your back gently so you smiled at him and kissed his cheek softly.

Nobody was saying anything, there was silence all around and a lot of staring so you sighed.

"Any questions? Do you guys want to say something?" You looked around the room and none of them said a word except your mom.

"What are you planning to do with my daughter? Will you marry her?" She asked him and you facepalmed immediately.

"Next question " you glared at her and she glared at him again "Really nothing? Nobody? Because you guys have alot to say when I'm fucking up my life or is it because you all know that i have something good going on here. That must be it huh…this must be killing you people" you stood up so he did as well and you linked your fingers around his own.

"Call us in when you really want to get to know him mom" you held his hand tightly and made your way to the front door, you had a lot of apologizing to do to him.

"Oh by the way, Chelsea?" She tilted her head as you turned around to look at her "Remember when you told me that no prince charming would come knocking on my door with this attitude? Well guess what" you pointed towards Loki and she scoffed but it was borne out of jealousy you could tell, all of a sudden their perfect life seemed not so perfect, it's not that your relationship with Loki was perfect but you knew that he was and you finally had someone you knew would never cheat you or lie to you or backstab you for selfish reasons and you wanted them to know that you were proud of him and you were blessed to have him.

As you stepped out on your porch loki cupped your cheeks and kissed you softly.

"I will return in a minute"

"Loki–"

"Please darling?" He pleaded with you with his eyes to go in again so you sighed. You didn't want them to hurt him with their words but you allowed him to go in. You eavesdropped and heard him wanting to chat with your mother in private so you circled around the house and stood in front of the kitchen window just so you could hear their conversation,

"Mrs y/l/n i know you are wary of me–"

"I can't even stand in the same room as you" she spat at him and your jaw clenched.

"And i understand that, I do, what I have done still gnaws at me every moment of my life"

"I'm sure it does" she said sarcastically. Is it wrong to want to hit your mom?

"It does and I don't think I would have come out of it if it wasn't for your daughter. I just want to tell you that you should be immensely proud of her because she is the kindest most gentle soul i have ever come across in my life and i have seen a lot, I have seen the evil that is out there in the universe but your daughter? She's so precious and all she had been wanting in her life is to be happy, that's all she has ever wished for, she never wanted to hurt you with her choices, she just wants to be happy and live her life on her own terms and whether you like it or not..i do tend to make her happy" she scoffed as he said that, you wiped your tears as his words filled your heart with such contentment.

"You can take your time with me and I promise you I will most certainly earn your forgiveness but please do not punish her for this, that is my earnest request to you" she crossed her arms and shook her head in disbelief so he looked down, he just had one more thing to say.

"And just so you know your daughter, my darling y/n, she's very special not just to me but as a human being, she's the most special woman there ever could be and i always wanted to share my gratitudes with you because without you she wouldn't be what she is so thank you, that is all, have a good day"

You smiled as he finished his words, his words had melted the frustration you had been feeling, you wanted your mother to give him a chance but if she didn't want to even listen to him then it wasn't on you or him anymore, you had done your due diligence, you just wanted to get the heck out of here but then you heard your mom,

"Please join us for early dinner in the evening, both of you"

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Note: Is she coming around? We will see.

Taglist (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72 @nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @elthreetimes @gruftiela @thenotoriouserg @greep215 @yallgotkik @obscureenigmatic @janineb86 @sflame15-blog @nyxlaufeyson @lokidokieokie @purplekitten30 @sunnixart @nikkig496-blog @frozenhuntress67 @qardasngan @rosecentury @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @hrefna-the-raven @jennyggggrrr

[misslavenderlady]

Baby Come Back 🥀

Dwayne/Female!Reader (She/Her Pronouns)

Summary: After a year and a half of being Dwayne's brainless little doll, he finally realizes how much he misses the old you. It's not going to be easy going back to normal though.

This is a sequel to @ghoulgeousimmaculate's story T.L.C. (which I recommend you read before this!!). It has references to her stuff, and takes place in the modern world, not 1987. This takes place before my other fic F is for Fight.

WARNINGS: N.s.f.w./Smut/18+ Readers Only, References to other fic, Infantilization/Dumbification, OCs, Character based off an OC, Mind Control, Vampire Powers, Hypnosis, Panic Attacks, Paralysis, Yelling, Fighting, Needles/Injections, Medicine, Physical Therapy, Memory Issues, Fear, Anger, Trauma, Submission, Making up, Stockholm Syndrome/PTSD, Dark Fic

No matter what, Dwayne would never regret the actions he took with you. From the moment he laid eyes on you and watched you struggle with your shopping bags, he knew he had to take care of you. After all, you were just so sweet and helpless in his eyes. Never had he ever wanted a human so badly.

So, he took you in and spoiled you rotten. You never had to lift a finger or let your feet touch the ground. Every moment you spent together was pure bliss, and he wanted to keep his girl as happy and healthy as possible.  

That's why he didn't feel any guilt for taking your mind away.  

You had threatened to leave, and he wasn't going to have that happen. All the knowledge, thoughts, and intellect were tucked away safely in his brain while yours was left empty and dumb. He even used his power on your cerebellum, taking away your ability to walk properly. You would be far too shaky and off balance to move on your own, meaning you would have to rely on him to get around.  

Dwayne was in absolute heaven. Every evening his baby greeted him with an adorable smile, holding her arms out for a big hug before he helped her start the day. You looked so beautiful in your flowing dresses and soft sweaters. Even if you never walked, he always helped slip on pretty knee socks and dainty flats. Your hair was always shiny and styled perfectly. The only makeup he put on you was some kind of candy-flavored lip gloss. You were true to your nickname, becoming a pretty little babydoll.  

Naturally, he wanted to show off his beautiful darling to the world. Whenever you needed a night out, Dwayne was happy to push you in a wheelchair along the wooden planks of the boardwalk. Poor dear, you couldn't get around without it, but you didn't care. You would simply giggle and fawn over Dwayne, constantly squealing about how happy you were.  

If the two of you ever went somewhere to eat, the locals knew to mind their own business. They wouldn't dare watch as Dwayne cut up your food and cooed at you to open your mouth for him. If someone was caught staring with a look of judgment, Dwayne would send his brothers their way for their dinner.  

The two of you were perfectly happy, and for over a year, things stayed that way. But then reminiscences of your old self began to trickle back into your lives.  

Dwayne bought you ice cream from a shop downtown. While he went back inside for extra napkins, you had been doing some people-watching outside. Your pretty eyes wandered over to a couple that was walking down the steps of a very familiar building.  

The old museum you used to work at. Before your mind had been altered, you had loved working there. Your knowledge of artists and their works was quite impressive, and your colleagues all respected you. Now, you could barely label a color wheel correctly.  

Your smile fell as you watched the couple laugh happily, both of them having just enjoyed a date night. Something within you felt sad taking such an image in. The memories were gone, but there was a tug at your heart. A reminder that you were missing something important.  

Dwayne could see the look of heartache on his mate's face as he kneeled in front of you.  

"What's the matter, lovey?"  

The sound of his voice was enough to snap you out of your spell. With a shake of your head, you flashed a smile his way.  

"Daddy, ice cream, please!"  

Though Dwayne was delighted to spoon-feed you the frozen treat, he didn't let that moment escape his mind. He found himself pondering over what had caused you to zone out like that. It didn't take long for him to take notice of the museum too.  

Days passed by, and the handsome vampire couldn't stop thinking about his babydoll. You were always on his mind, but this time was different. He now found himself thinking back to the woman you were long ago. The one he had fallen in love with when you still had control of your mind and body.  

Seeing the outside of the museum made him think back to all the facts you used to tell him about art. How the two of you would wander the halls as you went on and on about each story behind the variety of paintings.  

"So, this was the first version of 'Susanna and the Elders' that Artemisia Gentileschi painted. Unlike other versions made during the time, Artemisia actually depicted the gravity and fear of the biblical tale. An x-ray was done on it a few decades ago and revealed a much more anguished and enraged version of Susanna. It's one of her most powerful paintings." 

"I never knew how serious this painting was, babydoll. You're so brilliant." 

Dwayne hadn't enjoyed a deep conversation with you in ages. Even with his need to take care of his baby, he was starting to miss your adult side. The intelligent, creative, and fascinating woman you had once been. Dwayne missed the late nights drinking wine and sharing flirtatious banter with you. Going on dates that ended with incredibly passionate sex. Listening to you talk about all the ideas and dreams you had.  

He missed the real you. It was time to bring your true self back.  

It was going to be the hardest thing Dwayne would ever have to do. He still held no regrets for taking away your precious mind all that time ago. He would do it again in a heartbeat if you ever hinted at leaving the family. The real struggle would be dealing with your reaction when he restored your brain. It wasn't going to be pretty. He would most certainly need backup.  

"You're really doing this, huh? After all this time you're finally seeing how extreme this was?"  

Sis was walking side-by-side with Dwayne as they made their way down the cave halls. While Dwayne had been happy to infantilize his mate, Sis had continued to treat her sister with the respect she deserved as an adult. Whenever the dark-haired man was out with his brothers or caring for the kids, Sis took over making sure you were fed, clean, dressed, and cared for.  

It was like she was a personal nurse to you. She just felt terrible seeing the lovesick dummy her sister had been transformed into. The least she could do was treat you with dignity.  

"I love her so much. I don't want to stop taking care of her, but I miss the woman I fell in love with." 

Sis shot Dwayne a glare, silently telling him to try that sentence again.  

"I mean the other woman I fell in love with, of course, baby," Dwayne said, giving her hand a loving squeeze. "Did you bring the stuff I asked for?"  

The vampire queen nodded, giving her jacket pocket a small tap. She had a special tool prepared at his request if things got out of hand and the younger vampire girl needed to be calmed down.  

"Alright, let's do this." 

Both of them stepped into the nest you had for yourself. What was once a room filled with sketches, paintings, and various books on art history, was now a room fit for a princess. The walls were decorated with cute posters of cartoon characters. A lilac canopy curtain was draped over a bed covered entirely with soft blankets and cute pillows. There were dozens and dozens of stuffed animals that Dwayne and the boys had gifted you over the months. It was all the perfect space for someone with a childlike mind. 

You were feeling peaceful, all nice and cozy in your room. Dwayne and Sis found you perched on your bed, all snug in a soft, baby blue pair of pajamas with the latest addition to your teddy bear collection tucked under your arm. Whenever you were left alone, you would watch movies or shows on your tablet. All picked out by Dwayne, of course.  

Your attention shifted right to your caregivers once you noticed them. With a dreamy smile on your face, you reached out for Dwayne since he was closest.  

"Daddy! Missed you!" you said sweetly. Seeing you so cheerful made Dwayne's heartache. Soon you weren’t going to be very happy to see him.  

"Hey there, angel," Dwayne greeted you. He sat on the edge of the bed and gathered you close to him. You nuzzled against his scruffy cheek as he positioned you on his lap.  

He savored the last moment of affection before speaking up.  

"Babydoll. You know I love you, right? That I would do anything to take care of you and make you happy?" 

You didn't always understand longer sentences or big words. Being dumbed down made it harder to talk to you, so he tried to make things as simple as possible. All you understood at that moment was he loved you, so you just nodded eagerly.  

"Uh-huh!"  

"Then please know Daddy's very sorry for what he's about to do." 

There wasn't even a second for you to try and comprehend what he meant. Dwayne had your chin tilted upward so that your pretty eyes stayed on his as his color faded from chocolate brown to a sinister red. They swirled slowly, drawing you in as Dwayne took control of your mind.  

He let go of everything. All of the parts of your mind that he stole long ago came flooding back into your brain. The more information restored, the wider your eyes got. Tears were trickling down your cheeks as he used his power. By the time the last few memories settled in, your face was soaked from the silent crying.  

Dwayne's eyes faded back to brown. He watched you carefully, worried about just what you were going to say first. You were too quiet for his liking, no doubt in stunned silence.  

And then it happened. You freaked out.  

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME??"  

Sis and Dwayne were afraid this would happen. Any carefree feelings you had before were long gone, replaced in an instant with panic. A new batch of tears ran hot and fast down your cheeks. Your breathing became fast and ragged, soon leading to your hyperventilating.  

Dwayne hated seeing you like this. So scared and confused. He reached out a hand to comfort you, not knowing what else to do.  

"Baby-" 

You immediately slapped his hand away, striking his skin in disgust. The last thing you wanted was for him to touch you.  

"Get away from me, you monster!!"  

Adrenaline was pumping through your veins now. Your ears were buzzing and your blood pumping fast in your veins as your heart practically crashed into your ribcage.  

You pushed yourself out of bed, hoping to make a run for it. Instead, you found no support from your lower body. You hit the cave ground in a split second. That only amped up your terror.  

"M-My legs…I c-can't walk…I-I can't fucking walk!!!"  

It shouldn't have surprised you, given the fact that for the past year and a half, you had no balance or coordination in your legs. That meant you hadn't walked at all in that period of time. Your legs had since atrophied, and the realization was only making matters worse.  

Inhuman sobs and screams fell from your mouth as you helplessly lay on the floor. All the time you had spent without a proper mind was catching up to you. It was only making Dwayne more worried. 

You still didn't want to be touched by him. When he leaned down to help pull you back up, you threw a punch at him. The shock was clearly shown on his face as he held his cheek. You had never hit anyone before.  

"Sis-" 

"On it." 

There was no sign of you calming down anytime soon. Everything was happening so fast and suddenly, and they needed to settle you down so you wouldn't hurt yourself.  

Sis pulled the item she had brought out of her pocket. It was a syringe filled with a sedative. In a flash, she pulled off the safety cap, grabbed hold of your wrist, and stuck the needle into a vein. She held you firmly in place as the medicine worked its magic and finally got you to calm down.  

With your thrashing stopped and your eyes fluttering shut, she finally let go of you. Even with you successfully calmed down, she was still incredibly stressed.  

"Well, that went as well as I expected it to." 

"Look, I can help her get through this," Dwayne said. "She's a little scared now, but with some time, she'll come to her senses." 

Sis shot him a look of disbelief. It shouldn't have surprised her to see him so nonchalant about putting you through more stress. When he and the other boys had put her through her own "training", they did so without mercy. They only saw their shared goal in mind: getting their mates to love them forever.  

Still, it hurt her heart to know you were going to have to adapt to having your mind back. It would be like a coma patient waking up and having to cope with all the things they missed.  

"You better let me, and the girls be the ones to help her readjust. Until she's fully back to normal, she's only going to freak out when she sees you," Sis said to him. "You're gonna be in the doghouse for a while, Daddy." 

Dwayne could live with that. He was a patient man. No matter how long your recovery would take, he'd be waiting in the shadows for you to return to him. His baby would come back to him, one way or another.  

It wasn't a pretty recovery period. The first few days involved keeping you heavily sedated so you wouldn't have another freakout and accidentally hurt yourself. With the right amount of drugs, you were calm, but also conscious enough to talk. 

Your pack sisters were so relieved to see you back to the person you were before Dwayne took your mind. They all hugged you and brought plenty of flowers and gifts to welcome you back. You were so grateful for them, especially since they were eager to talk to you like an adult.  

However, you soon found that returning to normal wasn't as easy as you hoped it would be.  

A vampire's influence on one's mind tends to leave lasting effects if done for too long. The human brain can only handle so much before it gets damaged. Thankfully, being half-vampire had kept it from breaking to the point where you were a lifeless husk of your former self.  

But after being without your intellect for a year and a half, it still had left some damage. You talked about it with a doctor that Sis recommended. One that specialized in undead patients.  

"You'll experience quite a few memory issues," the doctor explained. "It's similar to what some humans experience with accidents. You'll remember long-term memories with no issue, but you'll most likely struggle with short-term-related matters. Things like following along in a book, keeping track of time, remembering things in your schedule, and so on." 

"But I'm only half-vampire," you explained. "When I fully turn and feed, won't it heal my brain?"  

The doctor sighed, feeling sympathy for this predicament you were in.  

"I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Cuts and broken bones are one thing, but the brain is something far more complex. Whether you're human or vampire, there are just some things medicine can't heal."  

Sis squeezed your hand tightly. She completely understood what you were going through. Back years ago, she had suffered a concussion from the fall David set up. It never properly healed, even getting worse thanks to the torture the boys put her through. It ended up playing a role in her relapse when they used booze and drugs against her, and it was why she went into states of deranged mania.  

She had her fair share of bad days. It didn't help that she was married to the very men who damaged her in the first place. But it was different for you. This recovery was something you wouldn't have to go at alone. Your sisters would be in your corner. 

"And my legs?" you asked with a soft pout on your face.  

"Thankfully, that can be fixed. It would normally take a human six months to regain the ability to walk in such a situation, but in your case, the healing process will be cut in half in terms of time. We can get started with physical therapy sessions as soon as possible." 

Once the final details of your appointment were completed, the doctor escorted you and Sis out. While you were being pushed in your wheelchair now, you were already thinking about how hard you were going to work to get out of it.  

"Don't hurt yourself trying to rush this," Sis gently told you. You frowned to yourself as she helped get you into the passenger seat of the car. When she went to buckle your seatbelt, you snapped at her.  

"Stop it! I don't need any help!"  

Her brown eyes widened in surprise. It was still so surprising to see you act so snippy after being a cute little sweetheart for so long. When you realized what you did, you let out a sigh of frustration. You didn't like how you were behaving. 

"I'm so sorry, Sis," you said. "I just…I want to get my life back. I've already lost my mom and my job to what…he did to me. I can't lose control of my life entirely." 

She was understanding of that sentiment. It was a nightmare losing that control to the boys. If her sister wanted to put in the work to be her strong, independent self again, she would be by her side every step of the way. 

You smiled at her as the two of you prepared to leave. Tonight, you would get plenty of rest to prepare for the journey ahead of you. Even if the physical therapy and exercises would be agonizing, you were willing to take it on. Whatever was necessary to get back the independence you lost. 

Before Dwayne took your mind away, you had adored the way he cared for you. Anything you desired was granted, no matter what. But now you weren't going to let him do anything. 

Whenever you weren't in physical therapy pushing your body to its limit to walk again, you were by yourself, relearning how to take care of your needs. You were going to get your life back together.  

However, that was sooner said than done.  

Getting dressed was tricky, and you were clumsy whenever you tried to pull on shirts or zip up pants. You had thrown out all the dresses Dwayne gifted you, but after some time, you wish you hadn't.  

Going shopping was ten times harder. As you progressed from wheelchair to walker to cane and finally no mobility aid at all, you had to figure out how to get around the store with your devices each time. Even when you could move on your own, you found yourself getting confused and lost a lot. You accidentally forgot items on your list all the time and would occasionally forget to bring money with you, meaning the items had to be abandoned. 

You remembered how to cook but struggled with proper timing and following recipes because of how your mind worked. Whenever you were too tired to do that, you just ordered takeout. Even so, you found yourself fumbling a lot with cutting up your food. It was something so simple to others, but unfamiliar to you since Dwayne did it for ages.  

I don't need him, you thought to yourself. Whenever you struggled, you recited that mantra in your head.  

Dwayne hated this. He hated it with all his heart. After ages of caring for his beloved little doll, he was completely deprived of the chance to do anything for you.  

He respected you enough to stay out of your way, watching from the shadows the entire time you struggled. As much as he wanted to step in, he couldn't. Not when it wasn't the right time. He had to play the waiting game and let you come to him. If you were going to be his baby again, then he wanted it to be your own choice. 

So, he didn't feel bad about asking his brothers for help. 

"Don't worry, Dwayne," David assured him with a smirk. "We'll make sure she can't function without you." 

"Please do. It kills me seeing her struggle." 

Each one played a special role in this devious plan.  

Paul would use his ability to fly to hide all your stuff on high shelves so you couldn't see or reach it. Even being a half-vampire, you struggled with even levitating an inch off the ground.  

Marko would purposely mess with your sense of time passing, often changing the time on your watch or your phone when you weren't looking. It made you disoriented and confused.  

David was the worst. When you were asleep, he filled your head with nightmares of being broken and alone with nobody to help you. You were often whimpering in your sleep because of it. When he gave you a happy ending to your dreams, it was always about Dwayne swooping in and saving you. The more positive thoughts you had of him, the better.  

The more the boys pushed you, the more your strength broke down. You didn't like being independent as much as you thought you would. It was nothing but struggle and pain. 

You even found yourself missing Dwayne himself. The stuffed animals he gave you made you feel safe when you were in bed, but you longed for his strong arms to hold you. You missed the sweet nothings he'd whisper into your ear after you had a long day. And of course, your body ached to be pleasured by him again. You couldn't reach the spots deep within that he could.  

One day in particular, you were having a really tough time. You were trying to tie your shoes. Something completely simple that you wanted to do on your own before going for a walk as your doctor recommended.  

The laces were not working out properly, no matter which way you tried to tie them. With all the frustration and stress building up, you gave up, feeling a wave of tears build as you began to cry. It was just so embarrassing, and you didn't know what else to do.  

That was until a familiar voice spoke up. 

"Hey, baby."  

You snapped your head upward to see the handsome, brunet vampire standing above you. For the first time in months, there was no anger or disgust when you looked at him. The familiar sense of love for the man was slowly filling your heart again. 

Not wanting to let him know you were getting upset over something so small, you hurriedly wiped your eyes, brushing the tears away.  

Dwayne kneeled in front of you, watching you carefully with his chocolate-colored eyes. They were so warm and gentle. You forgot how much they made you melt.  

"Need a little help, love?" 

You didn't say a word but rather nodded as an answer. With your foot stuck out, Dwayne began to tie the shoe with ease. It made you feel like Cinderella, and Dwayne your Prince Charming.  

"There we go. All good now."  

As much as you didn't want to rely on him anymore, it was all you could think about. Part of you wondered if he was still messing with your mind. Yet in your heart, you knew he wasn't.  

You missed him. Even after everything he took from you, the love for Dwayne would never go away. 

A few days passed, and you were working up the courage to finally talk to him again. You had been struggling for the longest time to read your beloved books again. What once was so simple for you was now a challenge that took three times longer since you often lost your place or got confused with the plot.  

Dwayne knew you were having problems. He could hear all the frustration and confusion going on in your head. So, he sat on the couch in the main room of the cave, silently waiting for you to come crawling back to him.  

"Um….hi.." 

The dark-haired vampire had to fight back a smirk with all of his might. He kept the perfect poker face as you timidly walked up to him with your book in hand.  

"Hi, babygirl," he cooed. "Is something wrong?"  

Your cheeks warmed with a deep blush at the sound of that nickname. It felt a little too good to be called that again. Feeling extra shy now, you held out your book for him to see.  

"Will you…um…read to me? Please…Daddy?"  

Game. Set. Match. Dwayne had won. You were his helpless little girl again, and the best part was that you had chosen to do so willingly.  

"I would be delighted, babydoll," he purred, gesturing for you to sit by his side.  

You snuggled up to him, resting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around your body. It relaxed you to be in his arms again. With his gentle, baritone voice reading out your story aloud, you thought about how much you missed this. How right it felt.  

There was no way you'd ever fight Dwayne's love again. 

Tag List: @britany1997 @6lostgirl6 @thesirenrealm @pixielostboy @bloodywickedvamp @michael-after-hours @legal-lost-boy @american-idiot-jpg @ghoulgeousimmaculate @queen-bunny

[dxwnstxr]

Do you take request? If not then feel free to ignore this little thing hier

Chuuya X reader

Chuuya and reader are training like they do every day. But then chuuya made the mistake of taking Reader in a stranglehold, witch resolved in reader having a panic Atack.

I just had this situation just a couple hours ago and you block helpt me come down. Thx

Calming down with you

Fandom: Bungou stray dogs

Characters: Chuuya x y/n (reader)

Warnings: panic attacks, mentions of ptsd.

A/n: I'm happy i could help, but I'm sorry that happened to you T-T. Hopefully, this can help comfort you in a way if I do it right. If it's alright, I'll be writing this in the readers/your pov (first person). I did make a few changes but only with the chokehold part^^.

Getting off of the phone I let out a sigh. I had just gotten a call from my landlord saying I was late on rent again. I've been struggling to pay my bills of lately due to the fact I'm paying back my family for previous problems. Not to mention, just yesterday someone broke in and shattered my windows and broke the handle on my front door. Leading to more bills.

I felt like screaming but I didn't, know that doing so wouldn't solve anything. I put my phone into my back pocket and walked out of my office and into the training room. Everyday around noon Chuuya and I spar as a way of training.

Stepping foot into the room I saw Chuuya sitting on the bench, swiping on his phone. After hearing my steps he looked up and shut his phone off.

"You're late." He sighed.

"I know I'm sorry" I apologized and looked to the ground.

I could feel his gaze on me and I tensed.

"It's fine just don't be late again." He sternly replied.

I looked up and nodded. "Yes sir!"

He smiled a little and nodded his head to the sparing mat. I sprinted over to the mat and got in position as he did the same. During every sparing match me made a deal not to use our abilities and just our physical strength.

On the count of three chuuya shouted "go!" And he leaded to me. I dodge him and went for a under kick which he decided to jump over. Chuuya was always known for having strong leg power so whenever we spared he made sure to focus on using his upper body strength instead of his lower. And for me, my lower body strength.

He went in for a punch and I dodged it, grabbed his arm, and flipped him over my shoulder and onto the foam mat. He groaned and shakily got up.

"Damn, nice one" He grunted. I just chuckled in return and waited for him to attack.

Chuuya composed himself and positioned himself. I decided to go in for the attack this time. I saw his stomach was open so I went in for the punch. He caught my fist and I kicked him in the side. Then, letting go of me and he groaned.

Catching me off guard he went for a upper cut to my jaw but I moved out of the way. Not giving me anytime time to process his movement, he wrapped his arm around my neck and tighten it, putting me in a choke-hold. I gasped and both my hands reach for his arm.

I tapped his arm but he didn't let go. Feeling the tightness around my neck kicked in my ptsd. I tried kicking but I couldn't. A tear slipped down my cheek, the wetness hitting his amr made him loosen up and he let go. I fell to the floor and my hand went to my neck as I start to hyperventilate.

My hands started to shake as my mind raced. I couldn't focus on anything so my eyes stayed focused onto the floor mat. Little coughs came out as my breathing went haywire. Chuuya bent down in concern and kneeled infront of me.

"Hey you okay?" He asked trying see my face, as it was coverd by my hair.

I looked up at him and tried to talk but I couldn't. Nothing came out. It was like I was reaching out for something that wasn't there. His eyes widened at my actions and appearance. He tried to put his hand on my cheek and I flinch.

He stopped his hand and brought it back to him. No matter how much I tried to calm down, i couldn't. I couldn't focus on anything. I shakily reached my hand out for chuuya and he quickly enveloped me in a hug. Wrapping his arms around me I instantly took in his scent. I could feel the worry radiating off of him. He sat back a sit and let me sit in between his legs.

He stroked my hair and rubbed my back, whispering calming words into my ear.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm right here" He soothed.

My hand cringed onto his shirt and I gripped it. I practically melted into his touch as my body leaned into his. To my surprise I was able to focus now and calm my self down. Though it was hard I struggled to do it. He hugged me tighter and tried his best to calm me down.

I stopped hyperventilating and my breathing slowed. My hands were still shaking but I was able to focus and see properly.

I slowly wrapped my arms around his torso and he gently pulled back a little to see my face. He carefully brought his hand up to my cheek and wiped away some of my tears. I leaned into his hand and he tensed for a second just to relax again.

"You alright" he practically whispered. I nodded in response. Still to afraid to talk I didn't say a word. And I think he noticed that to.

He both just stay like that. He continued to study my features, trying to look for anything he should be worried about. Though his eyes ended up meeting mine and he just smiled. He brought my head forward and place my forehead against his. I quietly heard his say he's canceling training for today. Then he whispered one more thing.

"Let's just stay like this for a while longer..."

[blacklegsanjiii]

i love all of your sanji aus sooo much :D always makes my day to see one of your ideas on them!! i adore shirohige!sanji so much and trafalgar!sanji has been hoarding my brain like crazy and i keep imagining different scenarios for dracule!sanji and-- yeah, you probably get the picture. sanji really is such a versatile character <3 truly the all blue of men

is there anything about trafalgar!sanji you havent shared? that ones a fav of mine ^^ no pressure, but your ideas are all always gorgeous

Ahhh! Thank you so much! He's just a perfect little orphan to just slot into random families in the Blues that are just..unhinged(Dofla!Sanji for example).

I feel like it depends on when they find out Law and Sanji are brothers. If it's on Punk Hazard I feel like when the Heart and the Strawhat's meet up on Zou Nami and Chopper are bowing to Law and apologising and if Law goes to WCI his nose would bleed, he's a fucking nerd and Germa is real and they're his little brother's birth family! The escape plan includes Sanji letting Law take his heart, Law screaming about Sanji about flying(sky walking, you shitty surgeon!), screaming about fire legs, and Law juggling Judge's vital organs before telling him to fetch and quit shit talking his little brother. Wano is Wano but Law relents with Soba Mask. (Still finds out Luffy and Sanji are dating somehow)

If it's after WCI when everyone finds out they're siblings and Luffy and Sanji are dating there is definitely a talk between Law and Luffy that is like:

"you understand Black Leg is my little brother and I will do what Ace did for you for him, correct?"

"wrong, he won't let you and neither will I"

Law wouldn't be calling him Stealth Black on this either but I definitely feel like Zoro would tell him about what Sanji asked him to do and that if it comes down to it Zoro will follow through and I feel like Law would take Sanji's blood and just start fucking with his DNA to make sure it doesn't happen? Law who explains, against his will, that he's already thought Sanji died twice so he will not lose him again. Bepo who won't stop clinging to Sanji crying about leaving again to go after Black Beard.

Before they got separated though? When Sanji is 8 and Law is 13? Sanji is like, a willing but scared participant for the op-op fruit so Law is playing both doctor in training and also bi brother and Lami and Sanji are both extremely similar and vastly different. Lmao and Sanji both like/d to cook and when they smile it's so bright and joyous. They both hate bugs but fuck if Sanji's panic attacks and PTSD flashbacks aren't the most concerning thing to Law. Sanji won't talk about it and Law has suffered from losing his first family, Cora, and he needs to get revenge against Doflamingo and the Government for what they have done.

When Bepo comes along and is so huggy and touchy Law is kind of jealous but Law isn't and Sanji is touch starved so. Law deals with it at first but Bepo is warm dammit so he caves and they all sleep in a pile. Then Shachi and Penguin join. The pile grows.

Before the crews split up after Wano everyone found the five of them in a sleep pile. Nami uses this to blackmail the Heart Pirates for money, or tries to at least. Law and Sanji don't really care and point out that they'll think Sanji has just switched crews. That makes Luffy angry so he stops Nami but Bepo does pay for a copy of the photo. It is proudly displayed in Bepo's navigation room on the Polar Tang, Shachi and Penguin love it, Law does secretly but Kidd making fun of him for it makes Law wonder if he shouldn't shambles the man into the ocean.

[slxsherwriter]

You and I May Never Get This Right

Fandom: Lake Placid

Pairing: Jim Bickerman x reader

Word count: 4,479

Warning: Hospitalization, mention of serious injuries (loss of limbs), ptsd, panic attacks, age gap relationships,

Author's Note: Don't hate me for how I ended this. There may be more in the future. As always, not beta read. Mistakes are mine. Likes are always appreciated, but reblogs and comments are cherished and feed the brain.

Tagging: @slashingdisneypasta & @tinalbion

The ringing of the phone interrupted the quiet peace. The sound was wholly unexpected and caused you to jolt. The mindless haze that you had fallen in going through the familiar motions of fishing. After the hellish week that you had at work, a trip out into the woods for a few days on your own consisting of fishing and camping had been just what you needed. You had thought for sure that you wouldn't have service out here but apparently, that had been a mistake. 

There was an instance where you debated ignoring it entirely. If it was your place of employment, you might just throw the phone into the pond. Despite how much it would cost to replace. Something in your gut told you that you had to pick it up. Groaning, you pushed up from your chair, carefully setting aside your fishing pole so it didn't end up in the water if something did bite in the absence, and moved back towards your camp and your tent. 

Rummaging around, it had stopped ringing only to start up again. Whoever was calling clearly needed to speak with you. Finally, you freed the object from the bag but didn't recognize the number at all. No business was coming up. 

“Hello?” Whoever was on the other end of the line sounded professional. One of those scripted sorts of voices. They wanted to confirm that you were you before saying anything else. Frowning, you did as asked and confirmed who you were before more information came. It was a hospital calling about James Bickerman. There had been some sort of incident? Something about him being brought to the hospital in bad shape and there needing to be someone there that could make decisions. Your number was the only thing listed. 

“Um, uh, yeah. Yeah. I gotta grab a flight. I can be there within the day, though, hopefully no more than a few hours, but I don't know when I'll be able to get a flight out. Did you need me to do anything before that? I will have my phone on me the entire time.” They asked about blood transfusions and life-saving measures such as intubation and CPR. Jesus Christ, what the hell had Jim managed to get into? 

Jim Bickerman was a name that you hadn't heard in several long years. He had been your older brother's best friend. You had been the accident, with your brother close to twenty-five years older than you. The two were as thick as thieves, always getting into trouble and mischief. By the time that you were a teenager, you were sucked into that sort of trouble. With a smaller stature, you could slip into places that they couldn't. An innocent face that most people believed when you lied for them. A look out that could actually be trusted to do the job. You fit all those sort of roles for them. Of course, it was cliche, but you had a crush on the man. Not that you had expected anything to come to fruition in regards to it, keeping the fact to yourself the best that you could. A drunken night in your mid twenties resulted in a closeness that had developed further into what could have been considered a relationship. Was your brother thrilled with it? He went back and forth. He liked the fact that he knew the man that you were with, but at the same time, he was a bit freaked out and disturbed that it was his best friend. 

Things had been really good for quite a while. There were a few bumps in the road in terms of getting in trouble with the law, but nothing that major or that you couldn't get over. After all, while you were in constant mischief and trouble, it wasn't the major sort that would see any of you going away to prison for any sort of extended time. All the local bars and police officers knew you all by first name.

Life had a way of happening, though. While you had all come from relatively nothing, being poor and scraping and scrapping in order to get by, Jim had this sort of intense and overwhelming drive for money. Enough so that it started to cause the two of you to clash every now and then. The passing of your mother and then followed by your brother in seemingly rapid succession had seemed to be the final nail in the coffin. You had to get out of Maine, get away from the mess that had taken over your life. The fact hadn't been taken well by Jim, who refused to leave. He was supposed to be getting the cabin that he had grown up in. The cabin was something that he was not willing to give up on. Things had quickly devolved from there for you both, to the point that it made it easy to walk away. Well, easier than it had been at first. Even if you had hoped something more would have come from the man. It had hurt and had been hard, even if his behavior made the decision more justified. He has tried to get you to stay but the cabin had been more important.

That had been close to ten years ago. A part of your life that you had left in the past. A fresh start had done wonders for you. Trouble with the law had vanished from your life. You had gotten a stable job, one that you didn't exactly enjoy, but it paid the bills well enough and allowed you the ability to have weekends to yourself. That allowed plenty of fishing and camping trips, with the occasional interruption. 

Now, that peace had been thoroughly shattered. You had never expected for Jim to still have your name down as an emergency contact. That heavy feeling that had invaded your chest during that first call remained, growing worse the longer things went on. A few more phone calls came from the doctors. Assurance that he was alive, but it seemed like he needed multiple surgeries, and they had to start to be able to save what they could. 

When the plane landed, you felt fully sick to your stomach. Renting a car felt like it took far too long. The familiar paths hadn't changed all that much since you had been awhile. Land a little more developed here and there, but that was barely acknowledged. Arriving at the hospital, your only thought was laying eyes on Jim. The picture that had been painted had not been pretty, and there was only so much that could be done to brace yourself for it. Sitting behind the wheel, finally parked at the hospital, your hands shook, and it felt like you couldn't breathe. Could you do this again? Was it going to be a repeat of your brother all over? Sweat trickled down your neck, and your vision blurred for a moment. Fumbling for the handle of the door, you managed to throw it open, leaning out and gasping. Thankfully, no one was around to see the near breakdown. 

It took several long minutes for you to be able to calm down and regain control of your breathing so it didn't seem like you had run here instead of drove. Ending up in a bed next to Jim wouldn't do any good for either of you. Counting each breath, inhaling for a few seconds, holding, and then exhaling for the same amount of time. 

Feeling just slightly more put together, you headed inside. The lady at the desk was hardly helpful, but the security guard was someone that you recognized. A man that you had gone to school with, and he was kind enough to lead you to the right floor, where the doctors had taken over from there. Now that you were there in person, you were able to get far more information than what they had provided over the phone. The accident? A crocodile attack. Jim had lost his left arm and his left leg. There had been internal bleeding that had been difficult to stop, a laceration to his liver the cause. His left eye had been damaged to the point that it had to be removed, a rock having lodged into the orbital socket as a result of the attack. 

He had just gotten out of surgery by the time that you had managed to get through. They didn't expect him to wake for several hours, if that. With the blood loss, trauma, and surgery, he was alive, but that didn't guarantee anything. While you weren't prepared to go to the room, there was little choice in the matter. No one would make you, but you were there and had to go see him. 

The sight of the man in the bed caused your knees to go weak. The nurse that had brought you to the room attempted to soothe you by placing a hand on your back. 

“It's okay.” No. No, it wasn't. The body in the bed was almost unrecognizable. Pale, bandaged, and hooked up to a load of machines. Hell, his face looked a little sunken in even. He hardly looked like the Jim you knew. Even if that Jim was several years younger than the Jim in the bed. Crossing your arms to give your fingers something to grasp, you moved forward and took a seat in the chair beside the bed. 

“Thank you.” A brief utterance to the nurse. The only other noise in the room was the beat of the heart rate monitor and the hiss of the supplemental oxygen that they had him on. Closing your eyes, you tried to ignore the rush of blood in your ears, trying to grasp onto the machine generated beep. Steady. It wasn't too fast or too slow. It helped give you something to focus on and bring yourself down. If you weren't so worried at the moment, you would have been cursing up a storm and yelling at him. Unconsciously or not. They said that people in comas and such could hear what was being said to them after all. For now, though, all you could do was sit there and let the worry eat you alive. The steady rise and fall of his chest, on his own without mechanical intervention, wasn't enough to ease it. 

*****************

At some point, you must have nodded off, sleep pulling you under without warning. You remembered staring off out the window while hoping Jim would wake up. The next thing you knew, you were cracking your eyes open against the bright light of the morning and a nurse standing over the bed, doing a vitals check. 

“The least ya can do for an old man is get him a drink.” His voice was rough, but there was no mistaking it for anyone else. He was alive and awake. 

“The last thing you need right now is a drink, you old bastard,” you replied before the nurse could, standing up out of the seat and shifting to the edge of the bed. Jim's eye wandered the room for a moment before finally settling on you. It took a second for the light of recognition to appear, and somehow, he managed a smile. 

“Well, hey there, dumpling.” You couldn't help the roll of your eyes at the pet name. But right then, there would be no calling him out on it. “What are you doing here?” It was actually a viable question. His faculties, what little he started with, seemed to be intact. Which was a good sign. A low sigh escaped from you, and his brow furrowed. 

“Apparently, I'm still listed as your emergency contact. And since you went off on some suicide mission, I got the call.” A pause. Swallow. Stay composed. Don't let him know how deeply affected you were by this. “And as much as I wanted to stay fishing, I couldn't let your dumb ass die.” Something indescribable passed over his face. Nothing that you could place. All before that familiar smirk had appeared once more. 

“Maybe I should get myself chewed on a little more often if it's gonna be bringing you around.” The nurse excused herself, giving you two a little time. Even if you tried desperately to keep her presence in the room for the sake of your sanity. Being alone with the man and this out of control of your emotions was not a good combination. 

“You're an absolute ass. I see that a near death experience hasn't changed that.”

“Aww, come on. Ya gotta be nice to me, dumpling. I'm a cripple now.” The tease about his condition fell just a little flat. At least he seemed to be taking it in stride. You weren't sure you would be able to manage even snark if you were lying in bed like that. The comment managed to bring a smile, one that you hadn't thought would come. Maybe it was tinged with relief that he was himself and that familiarity felt good under the circumstances. You hadn't had this chance with your brother. 

“Cripple or not, you're still a grumpy bastard.” He has the audacity to wink playfully or make the attempt, and there was no stifling the small laugh that just broadened his own smile. Jim would always be Jim. And as much as you had tried to put it all behind you, you had missed the man. His hand had found yours in those quiet seconds and gave it a small squeeze. Not begrudging him the comfort, if that was what he needed, you returned the gesture and kept your fingers laced with his. 

“Maybe so, but it never bothered ya before. If anything, think it's what attracted ya in the first place.” Pulling your chair closer, you shook your head. Might as well get settled in since it was going to be a bit before you got out of here. You couldn't bring yourself to be annoyed about the fact either. He was alive and the relief that came with that fact was near overwhelming. 

*****************

“For fuck sakes….” The phrase might as well have been tattooed on you somewhere with how often it was uttered up into the air. As if some twisted prayer. A desperate cry for strength to tolerate the horrible patient that was before you. 

“Ah, just in time. Come on over here and help me with this, sweetheart.” 

“Jim….” You paused and took a slow breath. How the nurses hadn't entirely lost it on him was beyond comprehension. Or maybe they were just drawing straws on rotation to see who was dealing with him next. “Get your ass back in bed! You aren't going anywhere.”

“Aww, come on. You don't have to be like that. We’re just going on a short walk.” He used we, as in plural, including you in whatever plan he had in mind. “Can't stare at these walls anymore. And like hell I'm being pushed around in that chair.” The words stirred up a sense of sympathy. He couldn't be blamed for going stir crazy stuck in the room for three weeks now while healing and starting rehab. His prosthetics had been in early in the week, and while he was still learning to walk with the new leg, he wasn't keen on waiting before pushing himself, it seemed. 

Jim was hopping on his one leg, trying to get the pants that you had brought him in a change of clothes at the beginning of the week, settled on his waist. 

“I know you are going stir crazy. Hell, I am at this point just visiting you, and I get to leave. But you can't be pushing yourself too much, or you are just going to be stuck here longer than necessary. Such a thing as setting back your own recovery.”

“Sweetheart, I'm fixing to jump out that window if I don't get out of this room for something other than rehab. So, you can help me or head out so you don't get in trouble.” Groaning, you glanced towards the ceiling, counting back from ten before moving forward to help him finish getting dressed. The closeness allowed him to get a few cheeky touches in, all under the guise of keeping his balance and such. You knew better but were unbothered by it. Being here had brought all those feelings right back to the surface and damn it if you still didn't love the man. 

“Since you can't be trusted to keep yourself in one piece or not to do something foolish, guess I'm stuck helping you. See, this is how I ended up in trouble when we were younger. All your damn fault.” He laughed. 

“Way I remember it you were all too eager to help.” How could this man still make you feel like a teenager with a silly crush. 

“Young, impressionable, and dumb. That's what I'm calling it.” You gave him a little push to get him back on the bed, causing him to chuckle, all before helping him make sure the prosthetic was in place. Him hopping around would attract too much attention. You winced at the still raw looking around. The surgeons had done a fantastic job. “You sure? This still looks like it's not gonna feel great, Jim.”

“Oh, I'm more than sure.” You nodded and got him settled. He kept an arm around your shoulders, both as an excuse to hold you and an extra support as he moved along. 

“Come on then, let's get you moving a bit. We are only going for a short walk, okay? Then it's back in bed.”

“Yes, ma'am.” He laughed, and you rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless. Glancing out into the hall, none of the nurses seemed to be paying attention. A few tentative steps were taken before you both realized no one was going to stop you. “You uh, you didn't bring anything to drink this time, didcha?” The man was impossible. But, he had broken you down with the requests. 

“Just keep walking for a bit here, okay.”

“Ya did. Knew I could count on you.”

“As if that would ever change?” The comment slipped before you could think about it. Out in the open now, and he would take it as he pleased. Getting into the elevator, you hit the button to lead you down to the cafeteria. There was a coffee shop close to it where you could at least get a decent dose of caffeine. He could mix his alcohol with it to hide it from the nurses. The minimal amount that you had gotten in. 

“Easy there, buttercup. Give me a second.” The strain to the words told you that he was hurting more than he let on, and you instantly pulled to a stop, allowing him to lean against the wall and gain his breath back. 

“Better than I thought we would do, actually. Let's get you to the chairs up there, and I'll get us some coffee.” He nodded, giving it another minute before pushing himself off of the wall and bracing himself further against you. It was no more than twenty feet. Once he was settled into the chair, you moved off to get the promised coffee. 

Since you couldn't juggle both coffees and get the alcohol into his, you had to settle for carrying both of them back and plopping down into the seat beside him. 

“Here, hold mine for a second…” You passed him the cup that you knew for a fact was yours before reaching into the pocket of your jacket and pulling out a small flask. One that Jim had actually gifted you, though that wasn't anywhere near the forefront of your mind. 

“That the one I got you for your twenty-first?” The question didn't register at first as you poured a little bit of the liquor into the cup before a hum came from him, attempting to catch your attention. 

“I'm sorry, what?” You looked up as you finished, putting the cap back on the small flask and taking your coffee back, holding his out to him. He repeated the question, causing you to blink for a second and look down at the pocket that you had safely tucked the flask in. “Uh, yeah, yeah, it is.” A sound came from him, something that you couldn’t entirely identify and didn't really want to right then as he decided to take a sip of his drink instead. 

Once the cups were empty and the coffee was finished, you had felt that he had been out of his room long enough. The nurses were going to ream you for having him out this long, but it had helped him and would hopefully keep him feeling a little less ornery for the next day or so. 

“All right, let's get you back to your room.” The walk was a little slower, with him feeling the effects of the walk on his still healing body. It was wholly unsurprising if anyone were to ask your opinion. Getting him back to bed, he was wincing and unable to hide it. It made you feel just a bit bad, though you knew that he would say it was worth it. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he murmured softly, so softly that you almost missed it. His eyes were closed as he reclined back in the bed, clearly spent from the small outing. Smiling to yourself, you settled down in the chair, deciding to spend the rest of the afternoon with the man, even if he slept through it. 

***************************************

“Ya know….” Jim was drawing out his words, which meant that he was waiting for you to turn your attention in his direction. Some things never changed. You finally turned to look at him after stuffing the last shirt into the bag. “You don't have to leave.” He was leaning against the doorframe, not quite looking at you. This had the beginnings of a conversation that you really didn't want to have. It hadn't gone well for you before. 

“I've used up all my time off. And then some. I have to get back before I don't have a job to go back to. You're home, Jim. Able to be independent. You are back on your feet and don't need me around anymore.” You almost said that you didn't have a reason to stay. Because technically, it was true. You didn't have a reason to stay. Your feelings weren't enough. At least, that was what you kept telling yourself in hopes of making this entire thing easier. It hadn't really worked. That ache that had happened when you had left the first time all those years ago was just as strong now as it had been then. It made the most sense to leave. Just as it had back then. You had a nice little life set up for yourself. Being here? Well, it would be a hard decision.

“You don’t have to go. You're back here. It’s where you should be.” He was going to make this difficult. Apparently, time did not heal all wounds. He was standing in the doorway and refusing to move out of the way. Maybe this whole incident had given him a slightly new perspective on life. “I know you don't want to go back either. So, why are you going to do what you don't want to do? Not like you had ever done something you didn't want to do before, Why with this?” There wasn’t a good answer there. Because everything felt far too convoluted and messy. There were reasons to stay and reasons to leave. His gaze had finally turned to you and felt heavy, practically pinning you in your place. 

“Because it is not a smart idea, Jim. Staying around. It's better for me to leave.”

“That's bullshit. You can't bullshit a bullshitter, dumpling.” Yeah, that was hard to argue with. 

“Jim, please can we not…” He huffed, though he had clearly decided that he wasn't going to let go of this issue. If there was one thing that Jim Bickerman could be called without a doubt, it was stubborn. 

“You coulda left my old ass to die. But you didn't. You still came out and stayed. You coulda made those decisions and left.” He was right. Why did he have to be right? It made any argument that you made to leave that much more difficult. Slowly, his lips turned upwards slightly, as if he knew he had won this part of the argument. You sighed and rubbed your eyes. 

“What do you want me to say?” He had worked around every single phrase besides I want you to stay the first time that you had left. It was his turn to show his frustrations over the entire thing. His hand and hook waved in the air for a moment, though the words didn't come. 

“I want you to say that I'm right and that you want to stay.” He wasn't going to let this go. Could you say that you didn't want to? Could you say that you wanted to? The words were stuck in your throat. Why did he have to make this so damn difficult? The treacherous voice in the back of your mind whispered that it wasn't him that was making it difficult. He had tried the first time around, maybe not as hard as you had hoped somewhere deep within, but he had certainly tried. This was him trying again. Maybe you had foolishly hoped he had moved on, that things had changed. Yet, it was the same scenario all over again. Except, it felt more serious than it had last time. 

Looking at him should have reminded you why you decided it was better to distance yourself. He made stupid decisions in chasing after money and whatever big payday that he thought was next. But Jim was loyal and underneath it all there was some part of him that was good-hearted. Even if it took a few layers to get through. Others often didn't get to see it. 

You weren't able to get a response out, apparently taking too long for his liking. Because the next thing you knew, he was stepping forward, invading your space like he used to do all those years ago. Guess the old man wasn't feeling all that old at that moment. No words came. Instead, he hooked a hand around the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss. One last desperate attempt to get you to agree to stay. 

“Say you want to stay.” The words came out far softer this time, almost a plea. Almost. 

“Jim…” You forced yourself to meet his gaze, decision made. 

[thevegandarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Twenty-Three

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Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family, her bestie, and Jake (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, aftermath of attempted sexual assault, an absolute POS making asinine and untrue claims about Daryl, discussion of nightmares

Word count: 2.6k

I pulled my shirt off over my head and balled it up, holding it to my nose and tilting my head forward. Sure, I could've looked for a towel so I wouldn't be essentially topless, but I didn't care. I was already out in front of nearly the whole community with my shirt open. What else did I have to lose?

It was just me alone in that infirmary for what felt like ages. I could hear a myriad of different voices outside, yelling changing from Rick's voice to Daryl's to Maggie's. It sounded like there was a physical altercation, which if my guess was correct, was Rick having to restrain Daryl from going down to the cell and opening a can of whoop-ass on Jake. Rick said he would tell Daryl what happened, but Rick only knew so much. I was going to have to be the one to tell Daryl what Jake was saying about him.

The sound of the infirmary door opening startled me and nearly had me jumping out of my chair.

"Hey." The soft sound of Daryl's voice graced my ears once again, and my body almost immediately started to relax. It had only been three days, but in my mind, it had been years since I'd heard that sweet Southern accent. "Ya ok?" I didn't look up right away, but I could hear him pulling another chair up across from me and taking a seat. He pulled himself forward so his legs were on either side of mine. He took my hand, which wasn't holding my shirt to my face, and interlocked it with his, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. I didn't even care that I was shirtless. I needed this human with me, and there he was.

"It's good to hear your voice," I said through shaky sobs.

"The hell happened?"

"Rick said he'd tell you," I explained, my voice muffled through the crop top against my mouth, "did he not do that?"

"Wanna hear it from ya," he said, "figure there's gotta be more."

I took a deep breath and adjusted the shirt on my nose before I continued. It felt like the bleeding was finally starting to let up. I lifted my head a little and peered up over the shirt to meet his gaze.

"Y'know that blonde who always does gate duty? Jake?" He nodded, and I could see the vein in his neck starting to protrude, like just the mention of Jake's name was sending him into a fit of rage. "Well, he came in when I was alone, claimed he had some medical question to ask me about, but only after he..." I hesitated, debating whether or not I wanted to tell Daryl what Jake said about him because I knew it would make him feel awful. “He said some terrible things about you, Daryl. Terrible lies. I kept telling him to leave, but he just wouldn't." I lowered my gaze, unable to meet Daryl's eye contact as shame flooded my body. "Then he said he was having a "dysfunction" that he needed my help with and started grabbing his junk. I held my knife at him, told him he had one chance to walk out, and I thought he was going to, until—"

My voice caught in my throat, a sob escaping instead. Daryl's hand squeezed mine. "He fucking lunged at me and tore my shirt. I pinned him against the wall with a scalpel, threatened to cut his spinal cord so he'd never be able to walk again. He finally left after I threatened him, but then he pulled me outside and punched me in the nose. Shit was bleeding all over the place. Hurts like a bitch, but it's not broken." I raised my eyes again to meet Daryl's. "Don't worry though. I broke his."

"Atta girl," Daryl praised, raising his other hand to the one on my face, "lemme see." I sat up straight and gently lifted my shirt from my nose, wincing a bit in pain as the shirt separated from some of the dried blood. "Vec, how come ya don't got a shirt on?" he asked, sounding worried as he immediately took off his jacket and handed it to me to put on. I un-balled the crop top in my hands and held it out to him, revealing how bad the tear was.

"He nearly tore it in half," I choked out as tears threatened to make their way down my face again. Daryl averted his eyes as I slipped his jacket on and zipped it nearly all the way up, not all the way so that I could clean the blood on my chest and collarbone. I tossed my shirt to the ground, not caring where it landed. It was a biohazard now as far as I was concerned. "He fucking tried to..." My voice was trailing off. I couldn't form the words.

The heat from the fury radiating off of Daryl's body was palpable. He was doing his best to keep his voice and demeanor soft, like he wasn't nearly foaming at the mouth in anger. He knew that's what I needed. He placed a hand under my chin, tilting my head up and back, then side-to-side, examining my injury.

"Looks like it stopped bleedin'," he said. He got up and grabbed a small towel from somewhere in the room before pulling me back in my chair to the sink. He grabbed his own chair and did the same, pulling it around to my side. "Let's get ya cleaned up."

"I can do it," I protested as he ran the towel under warm water and started working at my chin with it.

"I know ya can," he agreed, "but I want to."

"Probably gonna need more than one towel," I said, feeling the dried blood cracking when I stretched my mouth, "feels like there's a lot."

Daryl worked at my chin, mouth, and cheeks with the towel, pressing as gently as he could while still using enough pressure to get the blood off. I winced a couple of times when he got a little too close to my nose, and he looked like he felt awful for even a small accident like that. I know I said that I could get myself cleaned up, but I loved Daryl doting on me like this. His thumb running across my bottom lip, though separated by a towel, felt nice, I won't lie. I just wished it was in a different context.

Once he got my face, Daryl looked at me, as if he was asking permission to move to my neck. I nodded and tilted my head to make my skin taut. The tears were escaping once again, burning my skin as they cascaded down.

"I'm such an idiot," I said under my breath, hoping Daryl wouldn't notice. But he did. He always did.

"Why ya say that?" he questioned, continuing to work at my skin with the utmost care.

"Because—" my voice caught in my throat again, "because I knew something would happen. I had that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach from the moment he walked in the room. I should've just left, but I didn't." Stills from my nightmares flashed through my mind like a flip book. "I know better than to ignore a gut feeling."

"Ain't your fault what happened," Daryl reassured, taking one of my hands in his free one and giving it a light squeeze, "I know that's how it feels, and I know it was real scary. But don't go blamin' yaself for it. Ain't your fault some jackass can't keep his hands to 'imself."

I stifled another sob. "I feel gross. Like I wanna peel my skin off."

"Anything that'd help that don't involve mutilatin' yaself?"

"Taking a shower in bleach."

"We'll get ya a shower when we're home. But no bleach," Daryl insisted. There were a few beats of silence before Daryl asked his next question. The question I'd been dreading. "What'd that asshole say 'bout me?"

I bit the inside of my bottom lip and scratched at my thumb with my index finger. I debated whether or not I would actually tell him what Jake said. "Lies. Accused you of something awful."

"How come ya won't just say what he said?" he asked.

"He said horrible things about you, Daryl," I reiterated, "tried to get me to question my trust in you."

"Goddamnit Vec, what'd he say?" The immediate regret set in on his face as I flinched slightly, his tone catching me by surprise. This was the first time Daryl had ever raised his voice at me, ever spoken to me with anything less than the most sweet and tender tone. While it did sting, I understood.

"I can't...l can't say it," I said. The words tasted bitter, sour, and I couldn't bring myself to say them out loud.

"Can ya write it?" Daryl asked. He took my notebook and pen off the infirmary table beside him and handed them to me.

"Just know I never believed him for a second," I emphasized.

I hesitantly nodded and flipped to a random blank page somewhere in the back. I spelled out the words, slowly and with a shaky hand as I feared what would happen next. Mostly, I feared how it would make him feel, how it would hurt him. I handed the book back to him slowly, twirling my pen in my fingers in anticipation. I watched his eyes scan over the words, the vile accusation.

He said you've been bragging to people about sleeping with me when I was passed out drunk.

I could see the hurt spreading across his face. The corners of his mouth dropped, and there was a sadness in his eyes I'd never seen before. That sadness quickly turned to anger. His fingers curled around the edges of my notebook like he was balling his hands into fists. It shook ever so slightly in his hands before his fingers uncurled, and he set my notebook back on the table. I could see him swallowing his rage, suppressing it because he knew, in that moment, that I needed him, and he needed to contain his anger for the time being.

Once I was ok though, I knew Jake would be in for a whirlwind of pain. Poor bastard had no idea what was coming.

"Vec..." His voice was somber, and I could hear the hurt dripping off it, "I'd never do anythin' that would hurt ya. Nothin' with even a chance of that." He went quiet for a moment. "I care 'bout ya too much."

"I know that. He was just trying to get to me," I assured, "I told you, I never believed him for a second. Just got really angry that he would try to tarnish your name like that. Jesus, I'm so sorry."

"Why ya apologizin' to me?" He had taken another towel and soaked it with warm water, and he was continuing to clean the dried blood off my neck.

"For telling you. I mean, it's about you, so you have the right to know, but I knew it would be painful, and I'm sorry for that," I said.

"You're all I'm worried 'bout," he reassured, "'ll deal with that prick later."

"If Rick lets you anywhere near the building, that is," I said. He got the last of the blood off my neck and rang the towel out in the sink.

"Would ya be uncomfortable if I got ya collarbone?" he asked, and I shook my head. I popped the collar of his jacket back a bit for easier access.

"Real sorry for raisin' my voice at ya," Daryl said as he continued to clean me off, "feel bad 'bout that."

"It's alright. I understand," I replied before a small smirk crossed my lips, "just don't make a habit of it. I'll bite back if I have to."

"Feel bad for leavin' too."

"You don't have to be sorry for that. You were just doing your job."

He shifted his chair back in front of me, working on the other side of my collarbone. "Feel bad cause ya clearly didn't sleep much while I's gone."

It had been almost impossible to sleep while Daryl was away. Knowing I would fall asleep only to wake up on the floor, scared and alone and having to deal with the aftermath of my crystal-clear nightmares by myself...I couldn't handle it. I saw his fucking face every time I closed my eyes. It was only when I hit the point of unimaginable exhaustion that I was able to sleep, and even then, it never went undisturbed. I knew the dark circles under my eyes were intense, and they were only being emphasized more by the bruising from my injury.

"I guess the dark circles are more obvious than I thought," I sighed, "I slept like twice maybe, one of which was a nap in the middle of the day. I can't even think about that right now."

"We can talk 'bout that later," he replied, "we got an ice pack at home?"

"I don't think so," I said, "I thought I saw some around here. They're these instant packs that you break and they get cold."

Daryl finished cleaning off my collarbone and handed the towel to me. "Probably wanna get the rest yaself." I got up and stood in front of the sink, standing a bit on my tiptoes to get my chest in view of the mirror. I unzipped the jacket a bit more, just enough to get the blood off. Daryl started rummaging around for some ice packs.

"So how was your trip?" I asked as I started to clean myself off.

"Fine, I guess. Dunno why they keep sendin' that one guy. Always damn near gettin' 'imself killed," he explained. He rifled through another drawer before slamming it closed.

"Which guy?"

"Don't care to know his name. Nearly stepped into traps twice this time. Gonna get killed if he don't watch out."

I giggled a little and examined my chest, making sure I got all the dried blood off before zipping the jacket back up. I turned to face Daryl. "Well, I'm glad you're back. I missed you."

He turned to me, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his stoic mouth. "Missed ya too."

After another minute of searching, Daryl pulled something out of a cabinet. "These what we lookin' for?" he asked, giving a gentle underhand throw to send one of them my way. I caught the pack in my hand and examined it.

"Yeah, these are it. A couple should be fine. Just be careful not to break them yet," I instructed. I grabbed my notebook and pen off the table and followed Daryl outside, the sound of his crossbow clattering against the door echoing in the small room.

It was dark now, and it appeared people had started going to sleep given that many houses were dark. I looked up at the sky, which didn't have a single cloud in it, giving the stars a chance to really shine. Looking up at the stars always reminded me of my dad. I hoped that wherever he was, whether that be up in space or somewhere on Earth, he was ok.

Daryl's arm bumped me lightly, and his hand interlocked with mine. "This good?" he asked, stroking my thumb with his. My heartbeat was picking up, and my knees felt weak in the best way.

"Yeah. Real good," I responded. We walked back home like that, hand-in-hand. Yet another moment that would've been more romantic had the evening's earlier events not happened and I not felt like such garbage.

Taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon

[save-slot-a]

Dust and smoke smothered his lungs with every gasp a certain 14 year old boy took between lunging strides. Debris toppled from above, the metal structural beams had already begun to lose their shape and bend under the heat and instability caused from the blasts. A stray explosion took the young man nearly off his feet, but his golden eyes, so full of fear and determination, stayed focused at the end of the hall. He just had to reach her. He just had to get there. The entirety of his body screamed as he continued his haggard sprint through the collapsing building, his footsteps drowned by the sounds of concrete and metal groaning a warning of their inevitable crashdown.

The teen slammed his shoulder into the doorway leading to the main stage of the theater, where he saw her standing in the middle of the chaos, squared up, facing away from him. Her black curls were dusted gray and her dress had been torn enough to be noticed from how far away he was, but that didn't matter. Not while she was still alive and standing. With one last monumental burst of energy, the young man darted towards his mother, calling out to her.

The last words out of her mouth as he snagged the back of her dress was his name shouted in disbelief and terror as the ceiling collapsed over the top of them.

“CROWLEY—”

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The hero awoke with a start, flinging the covers off of himself in his rush to reach out and sit up. The images of the nightmare persisted, even as the coolness of the darkened bedroom settled down around him. He hadn't realized he'd been reaching out with his stump. Sweat dripped down the sides of his face, and he could feel it sticking uncomfortably to his shirt as he continued to huff and gasp.

Breathe. Just breathe. If you can't focus on anything else, just try to control your breathing— Advice that's easier said than done. Crowley shakily placed his hand onto his chest, feeling it rise and fall as he tried to slow down his PTSD induced panic. A part of him was grateful he was sleeping alone tonight so he wouldn't have woken one of his partners… But another piece of him wishes he wasn't the only one there to ground himself.

After a few more minutes of breathing exercises, the hero slips his face into his hand, closing his eyes and trying to connect with the quiet… Which was difficult when bits and pieces of his flashback kept darting across his mind, making him replay the memory over and over like when he was forced to sit and watch the news footage of the incident and report back what he did wrong in that crisis. You know. As part of hero training.

But that's a whole other can of worms to open at a different time… Because one detail of the attack still sticks out to him. Why in the world was June, his mother, standing there in the middle of the chaos like she was about to fight? Did she have her pistols drawn? Her fists up? The details blur every time he tries to think about it too hard…

“... Maybe… I should talk to my therapist about going into those memories again…” He muses out loud while pulling his knee up to his chest. Something has never felt right about the incident and maybe he's been repressing a key piece about it. If nothing else, seeking closure couldn't hurt right? And maybe with his therapist's magical recall, she can help him view the event from outside of his own experience in it. Besides, what's the worst that can happen? He has another breakdown in his office where he's inconsolable and it's really embarrassing for him later when he thinks about it in the shower? Pshhhh…

… Well… He won't know until his appointment on Thursday. Hopefully he doesn't chicken out over diving back into the day where his world was shattered.

[bbyquokka]

Hello ! I kinda have rough time and I would like to request a comfort short work from you because I really like how you write 🥺 it's really specific so feel free to reject it !

So my request is either an ot8 "reaction" or only chan, the plot is reader having some ptsd regarding water/pool and skz trying to "heal" it with building sweet and calm moment with reader

Sorry if it's too specific or if you dont feel comfortable enough to talk about ptsd you can ignore if you do ! ♡

baby steps

MATURE/SENSITIVE THEMES BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

warning: gender neutral reader, established relationship, reader has trauma/ptsd around water and pools, panic attack (mentioned not described) pet names. LMK IF I MISSED ANY! words: 1.6k ~ (1,617)

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

water. it terrifies you to no end. after a certain traumatic event that happened a period of time ago, you've been petrified of water since; especially pools.

your body would freeze, hands clammy and a sense of insecurity would hit. your fight or flight mode activates resulting in you fleeing from the scene to calm down your erratic breathing.

chan loves the water. he would spend every single minute in the water if he could. he often spoke about how he would surf the waves back in Australia, how invigorating it was to him and how much he misses it.

you never told chan about your trauma with pools and water, feeling that it's a silly thing to be scared of. it's just water, right? but to you, it's something much more fear inducing. 

chan would often invite you out to the swimming pools or offer to have a dip in the lake on a hot summers day but you always refused by making up excuses; but there's only so many excuses you can make before chan slowly starts getting suspicious.

he noticed the little things. when he would sleep over at your place, he often noticed how it would take you that extra bit longer in the bathroom, how you have no bathing suits and then the excuses would come in every time he would suggest going to a pool or lake.

he didn't press about it though and that's one of the many reasons why you love chan. he's caring and wouldn't do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. in the back of his mind, he wishes you would tell him and open up but he knows whatever it may be is a big deal to you and him pressing and forcing you to speak about it would only push you away.

“can i ask you something?” you look up at chan from across the table as he wipes his mouth clean from food. you swallow your own before speaking.

“ask away.”

“why don't you want to go swimming with me?” you freeze. your heart creeping its way up to your throat. you stare at your plate of food as a cold sweat coats your body quickly. you clench your jaw a few times as excuse after excuse rushes through your mind.

“i just don't feel like it. why?” you saw with a forced smile. chan raises his brow slowly as he puts down his silverware.

“babe. we've been together now for a few months. you know you can tell me anything, right?” his voice soft and comforting which makes you feel guilty.

to him, he sees it as you not wanting to swim with him or spend time with him, simply brushing him off when he asks but to you, it's so much more. you understand that he might be doubting himself as a person and a partner to you but you've tried. 

you've tried so many times to tell him about your trauma but when the time felt right, it just wasn't and you'd shrink back into your shell and swallow it all back down, allowing it to fester and morph into something bigger until it's suffocating to you.

with a heavy sigh, you place down your silverware before looking at your significant other. you close your eyes as you swallow down your heart that's creeped up to your throat.

“i'm scared of pools, well water to be more precise.” you shakily say as your eyes open. chan's expressions have soften, the self doubt lifting and evaporating. he feels a little silly for assuming the worst, for doubting himself and you in terms of your love for him.

“why baby? tell me only if you feel comfortable though! don't feel forced, you telling me that you're scared is enough.” you give chan a gentle smile as you wipe your clammy hands on your clothing.

“something happened some time ago. it's petrified me and has affected me since...” 

you bite down on your bottom lip as chan hums and nods his head. he listens to you speak, taking in every detail and reaching across the table to hold your hand. his thumb stroking the back of your hand which helps calm your nerves as you open up more.

the comfort chan is providing causes you to keep speaking. you talk about your worries, how it happened and how long you have been terrified. chan is providing you with a safe space and you couldn't be more thankful for that.

“i want to get better, i do! i want to be able to go swimming and paddle in the pool. to be able to just relax and not feel so sick and have a panic attack every second.” 

“i can help. if you'll let me that is.”

“you will?” you whisper, heart beating against your chest out of fear and excitement.

“of course! we shall start slow of course but if you truly want to get better, i'll help you yn.”

“thank you.. i appreciate it so much chan.” 

the first step was to buy a bathing suit and that was a slow and difficult process. the range of colours and patterns overwhelming you to the extreme. you struggle to decide what to pick because you know that once you have bought it, you'd have to put it on and face your fear.

only difference is, is that you're not alone this time.

after picking out a bathing suit, it took a few days for you to pluck up the courage to put it in your bag and go to the local swimming baths. changing into it in the changing rooms, your heart racing and body wanting to leave right now!

but you refuse. you know chan is ready and waiting for you and you don't want to disappoint him. he did say that you should only do this for yourself and not him but you can't help it. plus, knowing that a friendly face is ready and waiting (as well as willing to help) is enough of an encouragement.

you stand by the edge of the pool, chan swimming around as he awaits you. the water is clear and blue, rippling with each movement from chan. the smell of chlorine tickling your nose. 

your hands clasped together at your chest, your heart beating a mile a minute. nausea settling in your stomach like a thick blanket as you stare at the water. tears threatening to fill your eyes, your breathing becoming short and fast.

a wet yet warm hand places itself on your shoulder which causes you to jump and look at the hand. your eyes trail up the arm of the person to be met with chan, who's smiling warmly at you. he gives your shoulder a gentle yet reassuring squeeze.

“are you ready, yn?”

“i can't. i really can't.” your voice is small and quivering.

“yes, you can. i believe in you yn. you're stronger than this and you being here, being this close to water is amazing! you're doing so well and i'm proud of you. it shows that you want to get better and not be shackled by this fear.”

“what if i get hurt? or drown?”

“you won't, i'm here and i'll always be here. every step of the way. we take baby steps, ok? and you be vocal with me. tell me how you're feeling and what you're body is telling you.”

“it's telling me to run away right now.” you say with a shaky laugh, trying to lighten the mood. chan chuckles softly before pulling you into his chest.

“do you want to? if so, we can go home. don't feel bad if that's the case, you've made it this far and that's something you should be proud of.”

“i don't want to leave. i want to do this, even if i just dip my feet in the water.” you mumble against his wet skin. chan nods slowly before pulling away. he gets back in the pool, looking up at you as you stare at him.

“why don't we try sitting first, mhm? sit on the side and put your feet in. start small so you can get a feel of the water. maybe that way, it's not too much out of your comfort zone. think you can do that darling?”

you swallow thickly, nodding. chan smiles softly as he swims to the ledge. you shakily lower yourself down, sitting on the side before gingerly letting your feet dangle from the side and into the warm water.

all the while, your body is telling you no. mind telling you to stop and run away. your heart is pounding and the nauseous feeling is back your throat; but you ignore it.

chan's face lights up as he watches you exhale that breath you've been unconsciously holding. he gently places his hand on your thigh, stroking it slowly.

“relax baby. you're ok, i'm here.” you place your hand on top of chan's as he feels your muscles relax under his fingertips.

“how do you feel baby?”

“overwhelmed, but good? i don't know, it's hard to describe. i didn't think i would make it this far.” you splash the water with your feet, grinning at the sounds, smell and feeling of it all. 

“all i ever wanted was to feel water on my skin and be in a pool again. i slowly gave up thinking it wasn't possible anymore but look at me, chan.” you giggle as tears roll down your cheeks “i'm in water!!”

“i'm proud of you yn! remember, baby steps and soon, we will have you swimming in pools and being in water comfortably in no time!”

note: im so sorry this took so long to do. life got in the way :( don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

tags (open): not tagging anyone due to the nature of the fic!

[pearldog30]

The guys finding out you were SA.

Ghost, Rudy, Soap, Alejandro.

So I know this is a heavy topic. and as someone who's a victim of it as well, I am coming into this with 100% respect. And in a way this kind of helps a little bit of my own trauma, writing about it. and how they would comfort you if that makes sense. (I know there's warnings but please do not read this, if it triggers you. I'll be coming out with some other lighter stuff soon, so you can look forward to that 🖤) and if you are a victim, my apologies go out to you. I hope you are doing better, and get the help you deserve.

This is a, gnreader. (For obvious reasons it can happen to anyone, it doesn't matter who you are.)

Other works 👉 Master list

Warnings| talk of SA, a little angst. Comforting fluff (I don't know if it's a thing but it is now), mentions of PTSD panic attacks.

Ghost 👻

You and Simon were outside in the backyard, stargazing on this beautiful night. talking about life, y'all been together for a few years. but there's still some things you guys didn't fully know about each other. this being one them. as y'all were talking you brought up what happened to you, before you got with him. and this made the light mood, you guys had going change quickly.

He quickly, but quietly, sits up from where y'all were laying. looking at you in disgusted. But not at you of course! at the person who could have done something so harsh, to one of the most kindest of souls he's ever met. It may be dark, but you feel his gaze on you darken in anger, and rage. He may not tell you in this moment, but since he went through the same thing. it just makes him even more pissed off at the person who did this. because he knows what it feels like having something taken away from you, that will never be given back.

You sit up, meeting his eyes. You try to change the subject, but he stops you. "Simon it's ok I've healed from it" you say trying to soothe him. "OK I-.. fuckin hell." He starts off strong, but he quickly contains himself. before he carries on gathering his thoughts. "Everything that happened is the farthest thing from okay... Fuck I'm sorry..." He whispers the last part, as he looks down to the ground. and you can tell he feels guilty he wasn't there to protect you. even though y'all weren't even in a relationship, when it happened. "Simon please don't start blaming yourself. that happened way before we were together" you interrupt him and he looks back up to you, meeting your face.

He gently puts his hand up to your face, and in that touch you could feel everything he was promising to you, even though he wouldn't vocalize it. The promise he was making to the both of you that he'd be there to protect, take care of, love, and respect you, with everything he has. And God damn it he will.

Soap🧼

You were getting out of the shower, grabbing a towel. stepping in front of the foggy mirror, catching a glimpse of your body in it. a Pacific scar you had reminded you of your past, and that's what broke you. You were already having a bad week to begin with, and this was just icing on the cake.

You were leaning against your bathroom wall, broken, and crying. when you hear the bathroom door slightly open. "Bonnie you okay?" You hear your favorite Scottish accent, breakthrough your quiet hiccups. He walks in, and the site just breaks his heart. he's never seen you this broken. you always kept it hidden from him cuz you didn't want to burden him with it. Looking up from the scar on your body, meeting his gaze. it breaks him even more than he already thought it did, seeing how puffy and red your face is from crying. He looks down to where your eyes once were, catching the scar on your body that still haunts you to this day. And it can't help but make his curious little mind Wonder. with some of the most darkest of thoughts of what could have happened to you.

He reaches his hand out, to try to graze his thumb against the lightly colored scar. but you back away from him "please.. not right now johnny" you say with pain in your voice. You hated pushing him away, but in times like this. you didn't want to have to explain anything to anybody. He gently reaches his hand down with yours, intertwining your hands together. bringing your soft, clean knuckles up to his mouth. gently kissing each knuckle as his way to apologize. "Ya know Bonnie.. you don't have to talk about it. but I'm always here to listen, no matter what. and it might help having an someone to talk" he says gently. still staring at you with the biggest, softest, puppy dog eyes. You shake your head at his words, he may not be the best when it comes to this. but he always let you know, he loved you no matter what.

Later that night you gained the courage to tell him. and he can't help but just wrap you in his embrace, to make sure you know he'll always protect you. from this cold, hard world. Since you cannot see his face, and he's definitely not going to tell you. but it infuriates him knowing such a disgusting, nasty, animal of a human being. could be capable of doing something so utterly bad to other people.

Alejandro 🔥

You were laying on y'all's share bed staring at the wall, you're mine aimlessly, wondering. and something out of nowhere triggered you. that reminded you, of your past. and you could feel your eyes begin to break, and tear up. Just as you started to let the tears fall, you hear your bedroom door open. seeing it's your gentle lover, Alejandro. You quickly wipe your eyes, so Alejandro doesn't see the evidence of you've been crying.

But he notices, he notices every time. He's so sweetly walks over, and sits on the edge of the bed. You sitting up meeting his eyes, and he knows something's wrong. "Mi amor you okay" he says, pleading with you to tell him something. the past few months you haven't been acting the same. "No I'm okay I promise" you say with a crack in your voice. and this just breaks him"please just stop with the lies I know you're not" he says, still pleading with you. But you can't tell him, cuz you know when he finds out it will break him. and he'll blame everything on himself. the fact that he's been gone, busy with the 141, and the bass, you know he's been stressed. and he doesn't need this on top of it. "no. really I'm fine" you respond still not wanting to say anything.

"please, just please! stop lying to me and tell me what's going on. I know whatever it is. it's been killing you, and it's starting to kill me" he says as he tries to keep back his own tears. And this is what makes you break. Seeing him so worried, so concerned, yet filled with so much love for you. You finally decide to let him in, and tell him. When you finish, he can't help but apologize. "I- I'm so sorry please forgive me! I wasn't here to protect you. FUCKK! I am so so sorry" he says through tears. And you can't help but hug him, his touch is the comfort you've been needing. But he's hesitant to hug you back, but he can't help but just to fall into it your touch.

And little did both of you guys know this is the night you guys needed. everything that's happened has taken a big toll on your relationship. And getting everything out there is exactly what you guys needed, in order to heal. to be better partners for each other.

Rudy🥺

You were sitting with Rudy on his couch, at his place. you've only been together a few months, and things were moving rather quickly, not that either of you mind. y'all were madly in love with each other.

He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to his side, protectively. Using his other hand he gently rested on your chin, guiding you up to his lips. when out of nowhere this made you snap, pulling away from him quickly. tears covering your face. Looking at you as if he hurt you, this made him shake, feeling like he's the worst person on Earth, for simply trying to kiss you. Before he could speak you quickly interrupt him. "I-I'm sorry... pleasee don't, I'm disgusting you don't deserve this" you said, before you turn to leave. but he gently grabs your arm, as if you were made out of the most fragile glass known to man.

He gives you the most concerned, charismatic, look known to man. filled with so much love, and worry all at once. "Mi amor what's wrong?" He says so softly, so gentle, and that's what makes you break. "Something happened to me.." you say through a hiccup. And this makes everything inside him drop, he knew exactly what you meant by that. he approaches you so slowly, yet so caring, careful to not trigger another panic attack. He stretches his arms out wide "is it okay if I hug you" he says trying to hold back, his own tears. You nod your head, and walk into his warm, safe from the world, comforting, embrace. And he rocks you back and forth, hushing you ever so gently. "You don't have to tell me what happened, or talk about it, I know it's a lot. but please don't ever think you are disgusting because of what happened. because you are not, you are more than kind, and amazing. and that was not your fault, you did not deserve that" he says through a hiccup, while a tear runs down his cheek. whispering those soft, sweet words. that you didn't know you needed to hear.

(Rudy always gets looked at as the soft, calm boy. but I feel like he's in a way, like ghost. because if he ever found out who it was God help them)

And that's going to be the end for this, I know it's probably shit. but I just wanted to get something out here for you guys, cuz I haven't posted in a while. and the whole Simon little sister thing honestly drained me. I just hope you all enjoy what I could give. Anyways I hope you are having a nice day/night wherever you are. reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🖤

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

The King of Clubs and Swords

⚔️ All Previous Parts Here ⚔️

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO (knots, slick, mpreg), Viking/god Col, fae Dom, plot heavy chapter, fluff, PTSD, fear, sadness, strong implications of miscarriage (Dom's), mentions of murder (sort of planning), threats, MF hate (obviously), mentions of forced poisoning (Tom), changing oneself (Tom), fears of not being good enough, panic/pain attack (Col), punching a table, baby making everything better, again a surprising amount of fluff for all the warnings ☠️ rating: mature ☠️ shared ideas by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

With their men away gathering food from the kitchen and Inga and Tavis playing with Ciarán and his toys as if they were searching for something they'd never be able to have with Modig- Dom felt comfortable enough to ask his kin a few gentle questions. Well… the questions were probing but he'd attempt to be careful about asking. He was sure he could be a courteous queen. Careful. Polite. "If ya'd told me I would 'ave run away wiv ya sooner Tom. Gods… Wha'd 'ey give you?" So… maybe he couldn't be. Not when it came to his parents. How dare they. He knew they were terrible to him but he could endure that, if he'd known… "I would 'ave kept you safe." The last was almost a whimper but he was trying to be strong for his friend.

Tom huffed, pulling his hair over one shoulder. He was wildly uncomfortable talking about himself with his prince, the boy was good at accidentally focusing on himself and it worked for them. It always had. But since meeting Kol the boy had opened up and started trying to actually get others to talk. How strange. "It was my job to keep you safe. Not the other way around. Just because…" He swallowed hard and tried not to grumble. His gaze had to move away from Dom or he wouldn't be able to speak. The siren was always too bloody earnest and his eyes far too intent and pup-like. Instead he watched the baby playing and remembered when they were that size. He was raised right along with his prince, almost since day one. His parents had just lied too well about his body he supposed.

"Just because they were trying to protect how special you were doesn't make this your fault. I never wanted to be… this, so when they offered me something to stop it…" He took another deep breath, he was comforted by the boy of course but it was still difficult. He'd only been able to tell Mod by thought alone. "You're stronger emotionally. I knew you could handle it. I couldn't. I saw how they treated you- how everyone treated you. I didn't wish to be… sold like that even though I already had been to your family. I didn't want to be-"

"So much meat? Yeah not me favorite fing." Dom knew he was just trying to be careful but he understood the reasoning behind what Tom was saying. He did get it. He had been raised like a prized cow for the slaughter. Keep it plump but not too, keep it bathed and pretty, wait until it's ripe and ready and-

"They demanded I take a tincture that would hide my heats and stop my um… production." Tom blushed at the thought. He hadn't felt slick until he was with Modig. They stopped his first heat before it even hinted at beginning and even after running he spent far too much time in his second skin for anything to happen. "I was following orders and I- I didn't think I could handle it. It hurt sure, made me ill at times but it left me able to care for you. While we traveled I never even thought about it until… well when you left I met Mush and the first time I slipped my skin I felt odd." His voice went soft and dreamy, a little smile curled his lips as he pet softly over his belly absentmindedly. After a moment he cleared his throat and shook himself. Dom loved seeing him lost in thought like that. "I still don't think everything works properly… I worry. We have to use-" He flushed so pink that his prince giggled.

"'Elp?" He offered teasingly. "No shame in it, when I want to play wiv Kol a bit I use-"

"Oh gods! I don't want to know!" Tom's voice went high and they laughed together, the boy always knew how to cheer him up. "But yes. I… it's all a bit off. I worry it's not hospitable for a babe."

"Nah. 'Ospitable? Jus' fhrow a few pillows around and shove a nice rug up 'ere. You'll be fine." Dom couldn't help teasing him, the man just talked so properly sometimes. He kept thinking he'd loosen up now that they were around Viking's all the time but no, Tom was just Tom and he loved him to bits. "I know wha' it's like to be scared. I know wha' tha' fear is. I can't imagine losing 'em but… I believe it's meant to be and nuffin will 'urt tha'." More than anything he believed that Tom deserved to be happy and he refused to let fate take this from him. He'd fight the bitch if he had to.

"I'm scared Damhnaic. I've… I've never loved anything so much." The selkie whimpered so softly he barely heard it but his hand found Tom's and squeezed. "I didn't think I could wish to protect anything more than you… I don't know what I'll do if I lose-" He paused, his jaw clamping shut and flexing. "Oh gods! I wasn't thinking. I- I'm so sorry!"

"Wha'? For loving ya babe more 'an me? I'd bloody 'ope so." He huffed back, grinning wide. He knew what Tom was apologizing for though and try as he might he couldn't fight back the tears that welled his eyes. He'd been doing so well ignoring the elephant in the room and he kept trying. They were talking about happy things and they didn't know… they didn't. But they knew she tried.

"You've always been stronger than me. You've always been able to go on and rise above. I was trained to keep you safe but you… you keep me safe in so many ways. Gods I couldn't do this without you." Tom sniffled and made a face at himself as if he were so annoyed by his own emotions.

"Lucky we doing it togever 'en aye? Don't worry, the crying fing gets better when 'ey out." He lied smoothly and Tom chuckled. There was a whole host of things they weren't saying but at least they were talking.

☠️⚔️☠️

"You happy brother? You still look a bit shaken up." Kol'son tried to tease his best friend as they put together a feast of snacks. It was hard to get Dom to eat an actual meal but put different small things in front of him and he'd eat enough it added up. He didn't have to understand it, as long as he was taking care of his mate he was happy.

"Um… Yeah. I'm scared shitless though. They hurt him Kol, bad. I'm scared this will be traumatic for him and I don't… I don't want that. I figured eventually we'd try with like… magic or something, fuck if I know. But he doesn't even call me his lover. Plus you know how… how messy my mind is. How can I be a dad? I thought I was broken." Mod had never had trouble speaking his mind or from the heart. It was something the Viking had always admired and now his mate was the same. It was funny in a way, he knew he and Tom only butted heads so much because they were so similar. He and his cousin had found mate's that matched each other.

"I think we've seen a really broken man now but he still cares for those around him and can feel love. I don't think being broken means you can't be happy. I never thought you were completely broken anyway brother, maybe just a little… bent." He teased and his kin tossed a slice of meat at his face. They couldn't devolve into a food fight, their omegas and Inga would kill them for the waste.

"I'm perfectly shaped bitch, just ask Tom." Mod joked back, not really wanting to think too deeply about his father yet. He wanted to focus on the happy stuff and leave the rest for a good tight cuddle and emotional talk with his… love later. He still wasn't quite sure what to call him. "Are you good though?" He asked softly. He knew it was almost impossible to get the chief to open up but sometimes the god would talk to him if something was really weighing on him. Just because they had partners didn't mean they couldn't stay bonded as close as they'd always been.

"What? Yeah, why? We're focused on you here. Ya know, dad back from the dead and baby on the way?" The leader huffed, frustrated that the halfling was so soft hearted he wouldn't let the focus linger long.

"And? You just found out the bitch who bad touched you, took your children, and tried to kill your mate just to get in your pants. I'd be pissed." Mod hadn't been looking across the table at his friend when he made the statement but a knife clattered to the floor after the words were out of his mouth. The Viking gasped softly and Mod's gaze snapped up to take in the lost look on Kol's face. His lips seemed somehow thinner and they quivered as if he were trying not to cry. He knew Tom would chide him for not being more careful of his words but he didn't normally censor himself with his kin. "Shit. I'm sorry. Breathe. Hey, maybe I'm wrong? Kol'son breathe okay?" He was scared to move around the table and hug the man, sometimes it helped and sometimes it drove his sadness to anger.

Kol took a breath but before he could stop himself his fist was smashing into the table. Thankfully he held back his true strength or it would have splintered. As it was, the thing creaked and shook. "I'm breathing. I'm… I want her dead. She took- she-" He couldn't finish his sentence. How was he supposed to? His soul ached with the thoughts that weighed so heavy on his mind. They tried every heat but they just thought they were spotty. They came in every few months instead of regularly like before Cia. And Ciarán- gods someone may have been poisoning him. He'd never been so glad to make his child half god. They refused to give the boy the binding tattoos like he had been given. Cia would grow into himself exactly as he was supposed to and because of the wolf inside him he was safe from that… that…

Mod rushed around the table to hug his best friend to his chest. He could feel the scream before it came and he tried to hide Kol's pain against his skin. He didn't want their pregnant mates worrying and rushing in. He knew Kol wouldn't want Dom seeing him like that. If there were words he couldn't make them out, his cousin just needed a moment to break and he completely understood. He was just glad he could help. "We'll end her. I swear it Kol'son. You'll have your vengeance. Shit I'll bleed her dry myself and make a necklace of her blood you can always look at to remember you won." He vowed but the man just fell to his knees and cried against him.

Kol never thought the day would come that vengeance didn't feel like enough. No matter what they did to her it wouldn't bring back anything they lost. "Hey, you have some on the way right? She didn't win and she won't. We'll get her. I'm just sorry I didn't hear it from her. I could have stopped her. Some people are just fuzzy to me. I think Harald used my father to protect his family from magic." Mod felt himself almost growling and he tried to shake it off. He was never really that kind of man. He didn't think at least.

☠️⚔️☠️

Eventually they calmed enough to part and Kol splashed his face from the bucket of drinking water before they got the food together and took it back to their mates. The boys were speaking in hushed tones and giggling occasionally and it eased the pain in both their chests. Kol was more grateful for his closest kin than he knew how to explain, he needed to be strong for Dom. Not fall to pieces. "Here ya go ástin min, sorry it took us a bit." He tried to smooth out his voice but he knew he probably made it gravel when he screamed.

The siren worried the second their eyes met. Kol's were red and his skin looked paler than usual but he was sure he and Tom matched. It seemed as if both pairs had opened up more than they'd meant to and he was thankful they all had each other. While Kol was getting everything arranged for him he met Mod's gaze and arched a brow. 'He's… sensitive. Megna.' That soft voice floated through his mind and he swallowed hard. They thought they'd heard a scream but they weren't sure.

"Daidí, me arse 'urts. Be me cushion?" He asked with a gentle smile and a wiggle of his aching hips.

Kol grinned back but it felt thin and dead. Of course he would keep his mate comfortable but first… Dom gasped when his chair was pulled back and the Viking dropped to his knees so hard he swore he heard something crack. He blushed when his love opened the front of his tunic and he was thankful for the skirt around his waist but when Kol pressed his cheek against his swell and sniffled Dom almost whined. Oh gods. It always broke him when his wolf was emotional. "'Ey okay daidí. We okay." He soothed, petting over the man's hair but Kol just needed a little while to snuggle. Reorient himself.

Before long he pulled back and stood to fix the seat and pick Dom up as if he weighed nothing. Thankfully the other couple didn't call attention to them. They understood. They saw him as a stronger leader when he wasn't so shamed by emotions. The siren curled close as Kol'son took a seat and hand fed his wife. He made sure to taste everything first though. Just in case.

They were so wrapped up in themselves they didn't realize Inga and Tavis joined them until she started to talk. "I need you to find who messed with my food boys. I'm not happy. Do you think it was the food? Or… water? Gods just bring her to me. I'll deal with her." They were used to her getting fired up but Tavis soothed her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her cheek that made her giggle. "Stop it you, I'm trying to be angry." She huffed, feeding Cia a piece of honeyed bread where he sat frog legged on the table between them all.

"Someone so beautiful shouldn't have to feel such rage. I wish to make life for you as perfect as you are." The fairy prince whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

Kol'son had a bite of bread halfway to his lover's lips when they all heard him flirt and he froze that way, they were all blushing softly. "I guess I need to step up my game." He huffed and Dom laughed but he loved to see Inga so happy.

"You really do. Tavis might teach us we deserve better. Don't ya fink Tom?" He joked back.

"Mmm, at least Mush tries. Maybe in a few hundred years he'll be that smooth." The selkie purred and both their men huffed softly.

"I suppose I could teach you both but it's just honesty. You speak from the heart and they swoon." They could tell he was still nervous but he seemed to be growing more comfortable and it helped the tension overall. One thing at a time. That's all they could handle.

"I fink me alpha jus' speaks from the cock." Dom hummed before curling his lips around his lover's fingers to take the bite he was offering.

"You love it." The Viking growled back and he had to admit he did. But he wouldn't say it aloud.

"He's young yet, give him time. Modig though, I would hope my child would take after me." He was hesitant to tease the halfling but they all seemed to needle each other. He hoped it would make them like him more. Accept him.

"Hey, I'm as romantic as they come. This bastard won't let me be sweet. He gags if I try to even compliment how pretty his eyes are. Or his lips. Or-" Before Mod could finish his sentence Tom was faux gagging and Kol'son joined in with him. "You see what I put up with." He huffed and his parents laughed.

"He will soften. Just you wait and see. I can't imagine that first moment of holding your babe in your arms and seeing… seeing their beauty. Even the toughest of men crumble."

To break up the sadness and attempt to keep the levity flowing Dom had to add- "Aye, he's right. Kol cried like a bitch when he 'eld Cia."

The baby looked up at his name and giggled. Of course he had no idea what exactly they were talking about or how much pain was just underneath the surface for them all but that's what made his innocence so helpful. Perfect. Beautiful. His cherub cheeks were round as apples when he grinned and showed off his little fangs. He had two fistfuls of food, his palms sticky with honey, but he crawled across the table to sweetly feed his mother. He always tried to copy Kol. "Da sad?"

"No baby, daidí was very 'appy. We talking about when you was born." Dom cooed between sticky bites of bread. He was sure it was covered in a bit of dirt but it wouldn't be the first time that day he ate some.

"I was baby?" He asked. They'd been trying to explain about his little siblings. How they grew inside Dom and would be little babes when they came out.

"You're still baby to me but yes, you were very small. You fit in daidí's palm! Even 'ough I 'ated when he did tha'." He grumbled back.

"You'll be thankful I can when you're holding one and I'm double fist-" The Viking stopped short and cleared his throat, that definitely wasn't the right term. "When I've got one in each hand."

"Don't you mean Dom will have t-" Inga elbowed her lost love before he could finish the word 'two'. They'd all seen how many marks he left over the queen's belly, they didn't need to overwhelm anyone right now. "Right yes. What is double fisting? It made sense to me." And as his family started laughing around him and attempting to explain with words that were safe around the little chief, Tavis sat back and wondered if his woman was still of fertile age. How do you ask something like that gently? By his math she was only into her third decade, Modig wasn't very old yet. Perhaps close to her fourth but he had magic on his side. He just wondered if she would want to. He felt oddly at peace even though everything was such a mess. He admired them all for their ability to still love and find happiness in the midst of fear. It was a beautiful thing. But he supposed vengeance was just around the corner and revenge like that kept brutal men calm.

Author's Note/Tags: @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @manicpixiedreamb0y @cole-way-iero28 @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

I hope someone caught the necklace reference, I wanted to make it vengeance instead 😅 I hope you enjoyed the angst and fluff. A little hurt/comfort for all of them. Poor Tavis is a little out of the loop but oh my does he have ideas 👀 poor babies though. All of them. I hope you enjoyed 🖤☠️

[icedteaandoldlace]

i often wonder how badly her being kidnapped by zoom relates to killer frost successfully overtaking her. like caity has been kidnapped the most out of any character in the flash, but the time zoom took her was a multi-episode spanning thing and she actually gets to realistically suffer for it for an episode after getting away from him. the ptsd gives her panic attacks and hallucinations. and when kf comes out definitively after after julian tears that necklace off, after another fucking man decides he can choose her life for her, that he's entitled to make her decisions, that he has the right to make her into what he wants her to be. she must have been so tired. it started with her father and it never ended. but if she was a killer, if she was someone else... she would be too cold to ever be touched again. caitlin can just go to sleep while the new girl piloting her body gets to be a god. and the going to sleep forever thing, that's suicide ideation.

tl;dr was caitlin choosing not to fight frost that hard anymore a motherfucking suicide attempt???

Okay, I gotta tell you, it is honestly fascinating getting your take on this because you're such a big Killersnow fan, so there's a lot of emphasis there on them being separate individuals, and I (before the big Frost retcon in later seasons) always saw Killer Frost as literally a part of Caitlin. Like, not just in the sense of sharing the same body, but like, they're two sections of the same mind, just kept separate because Caitlin couldn't reconcile her darkest thoughts and emotions with the rest of her identity, so she buried them deep down where she wouldn't have to deal with them, and then the perfect storm of trauma and stress finally caused them to surface and take over. There is so much in the first three seasons that seems to point to this, most notably Hartley's comment about how she doesn't like emotions because they're messy, and also, YES, the Zoom trauma, which absolutely played a major roll in her frost powers coming out. Like, they stopped Zoom, and then Paradox takes place THE NEXT DAY (it just doesn't seem like it because of time travel and the between-seasons hiatus and a series of scatterbrained writing choices). Dude totally jump-started her powers/Frost surfacing by being a dick and inflicting all that psychological damage on her. This is something I have thought forever.

BUT, all that being said, from season 4 and onward, the idea of Killer Frost being Caitlin's dark side gets chipped away bit by bit, until finally it's chucked out completely, and Frost is now a full-fledged person with her own mind and agency that doesn't involve Caitlin, and as a result, you have this weird continuity issue where season 3 Killer Frost is Caitlin, and Caitlin is the one responsible for stabbing Barry and kidnapping Cecile and all that other stuff, but season 7 Frost is Caitlin's "sister", and Caitlin had no hand in the crimes Frost committed, she was just stuck riding shotgun in her own body while Frost was at the wheel.

So that's where my head has been, basically, that there are some points in the show where they're two sides of one person, and there are some points where they're two people sharing one body, and however you interpret who Frost is in what season just depends on how you wanna view it, I guess.

But the angle you're coming at it from here provides a way for Caitlin and Frost to have been two different individuals the entire time. It's not foolproof, because the show's writing is still inconsistent in places, but it works a whole lot better than just saying "Frost went rogue in season 3 because she finally got to call the shots, and she just wanted to make up for lost time." Like, what was that all about?? Frost's motives being entirely separate from Caitlin just doesn't make sense. Even when it's played like Frost just enjoys violence and hurts people for the heck of it, it doesn't fit with the massive chip on her shoulder in season 3. What does fit is Frost acting on Caitlin's anger. Whether it just gets transferred to her as a result of sharing a body, or she is actually angry herself on Caitlin's behalf and acting out of a protective impulse, it just makes more sense for what Caitlin is going through to be Frost's driving force when she's out committing crimes, than for her to just be randomly violent out of nowhere.

I feel like this has strayed so far from the original subject, and also I'm very sleepy and not sure if it makes much sense. You just got my wheels turning so fast because now I have material for headcanons involving Caitlin and Frost being different people from the beginning, and there is so much to think about. It's like you just handed me a bag of asphalt patch and now I can go fill plot holes I kept bumping over before.

In response to your main point here, Caitlin basically giving Frost control as a means of letting herself escape is a very interesting takeaway of the situation. I don't know if I see s3 Caitlin as dealing with suicidal ideation (s1 Caitlin is another matter), but I get where you're coming from on that, and it is a thought provoking point. Also, never thought about the fact that Julian taking off the necklace is another case of a man choosing something for her, so major props for pointing that out (and this adds more layers to the end of the season when she turns on Savitar after being given a choice on who she wants to be...)