#so i was never gonna have the chance to use this as my swan song

[grigori77]

Once again, to celebrate this awesome day, I thought I'd give another shout-out to some more of those wonderful ladies that I alove and admire, both those who hve inspired me for a while now, and those that I just recently discovered ...

IMAN VELLANI. Oh my sweet girl! :3 Exploding onto the scene thanks to the recent acclaimed hit/fan favourite that was the Disney/Marvel Ms. Marvel streaming show, the most adorable geek girl in ALL THE WORLD really got a major, much deserved profile boost (regardless of the problems) thanks to her co-starring return to the role of super-popular young Marvel superhero Kamala Khan in The Marvels. She's a genuine absolute SWEETHEART and she deserves all the success that's surely coming to her.

GIDEON NAV & HARROWHARK NONAGESIMUS. Yup, I have FINALLY gotten round to reading Tamsyn Muir's ridiculously popular sci-fi fntasy novel series The Locked Tomb! It's still early days, I'm only on Gideon the Ninth, but I am ALREADY falling head over heels in love with the story's central duo, the reluctant warrior Gideon, a snarky oversized golden retriever of a woman, and her "hated" charge, Harrow, the scheming, overly-ambitious scion to an ancient clan of intergalactic necromancers, who's a metaphorical vicious little soaked ferret. I love them, they're so adorably dysfunctional ...

AWKWAFINA. For me, one of the funniest people around, this musician, comedian and actress deserves every ounce of success she's earned for herself. I mostly know her for her acting, having been a fan ever since she was in Ocean's 8, since showing up in a raft of great roles in the likes of Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings, Raya & the Last Dragon, Crazy Rich Asians and Swan Song, although she's REALLY hitting her stride now, showing up in REALLY BIG stuff like Renfield, Quiz L\ady and, now, the incoming (and long-awaited) Kung Fu Panda 4.

TATIANA SUAREZ. Perhaps the most incredible sportswoman I have come across in a good long while, this one is a TRUE INSPIRATION REVELATION. A strong up-and-coming contender for UFC World Champion, she's been through SO MUCH in her life to get where she is now, having had her teenage dreams of being an Olympic Gold Medal wrestler dashed after an accident during training led to the discovery of a burgeoning case of thyroid cancer. Fighting off the condition, she then fought her way back after embracing judo and then mixed martial arts, before AGAIN suffering a debilitating neck injury which NEARLY ended her sporting career again, forcing her to take another long-term hiatus to get back into fighting shape ... just as COVID hit. Now she's back again, fighting fit and better than ever, hungry for that next chance and looking like she's definitely gonna get it this time ...

SINEAD O'CONNOR. The last 13 months have been really tough, we've had to say goodbye to some truly wonderful people, but one in particular REALLY HURT. The music industry lost a true GEM with the passing of this genuine GODDESS, the Irish singer-songwriter best known for her INSANELY popular cover of Prince's Nothing Compares 2 U, although those in the know recognise that she was ONE HELL of a force nature in her own right, courting controversy throughout her career for her outspoken religious and political views. She NEVER backed down on what she believed, and earned my undying respect and admiration for it.

FLORENCE PUGH. A completely amazing young actress who's had a trily ASTOUNDING rise to fame in recent years, I've be a fan of Flo's ever since she broke out in a MASSIVE WAY in the twisted psychological drama Lady Macbeth. She's blown us all away since, lighting up the screen in the likes of midsommar, Don't Worry Darling, Oppenheimer and, now, Dune, Part Two, but now, for me she will ALWAYS be Yelena Belova, the true successor to the MCU's Black Widow mantle.

MIZU. One of my favourite female characters of the past year (although I'm sure she would balk at actually bringing up her gender), the titular lead protagonist of Netflix' wild runaway success new animated series Blue Eye Samurai is a genuinely fascinating and intoxivating character, who prompts profound debate about gender roles and personal identity while kicking arse in SPECTACULAR FASHION indeed in feudal Japan.

TEYONAH PARRIS. Definitely one of THE MOST AMAZING African American actresses coming up right now, this young lady is definitely earning her breakout star status. Having come up through sterling turns in the likes of Dear White People, Chi-Raq, If Beale Street Could Talk and Candyman, before finally making good on all that promise with high profile lead turns in THey Cloned Tyrone and her ongoing role as MCU superhero MOnica Rambeau/Photon in Wandavision and The Marvels.

BILLIE EILISH. What do I REALLY need to say about one of the most popular and astoundingly unique musical artists of the moment? Ever since her breakthrough at just THIRTEEN YEARS OLD with her wildly successful first single, Ocean Eyes, which became a massive runaway smash on Youtube, this incredibly talented young singer songwriter has consistently impressed with ever release, entirely deserving her immense success with an amazing debut EP and two subsequently BRILLIANT albums. She keeps going from strength to strength, and at just 22 years old is only just BEGINNING what's sure to be a MONSTER of a career ...

KITTY O'NEIL. A true legend in cinema, even though most of us have NEVER actually seen her face, this little lady was one of the GREATEST stuntwomen and racers of all time, and a MASSIVE inspiration throughout her life as well. Despite going deaf due to illness during childhood, Kitty still went on to become a record-breaking racing driver and professional stunt performer, probably best known for having doubled Linda Cart in Wonder Woman and Lyndsey Wagner in The Bionic Woman. It's a genuine mystery why Hollywood hasn't made a biopic about her yet ...

HOLGA KILGORE. Probably my ABSOLUTE favourite fictional female protagonist of 2023, the badass barbarian lady from Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves was a pure, unapologetic JOY, thanks in no small part to a wonderfully game turn from Michelle Rodriguez. Holga's just an absolute sweetheart, fully capable of decimating a whole room full of big, dangerous men with her bare hands without ever losing her gentle kindness, simple, honest innocence and unswerving loyalty. TRULY the MVP warrior tank any adventuring party wants in their corner ...

SIOUXSIE SIOUX. Truly one of alternative rock's true, all time GOATs, the lead singer of one of goth's greatest and most important bands, Siouxsie & the Banshees, is a singular master of haunting, ethereal vocals and a genuine style ICON who lent her look and manner to a whole GENERATION of scary young women ...

SABINE WREN & SHIN HATI. While my favourite Star Wars offering of 2023, the opening season of the Ahsoka series, was, all round, just SO GREAT for me, there was one particular element that just stuck with me above ANYTHING ELSE - the season-long rivalry between Ahsoka's troubled Mndalorian apprentice Sabine and Dark Jedi student Shin. They raged, continuously tried to kill each other and endlessly traded smouldering looks of hate that bordered on OBSESSION ... all while genuinely SIMMERING with barely restrained sexual tension. They made the whole fandom FERAL, myself includced. #wolfwren indeed ...

BRODY DALLE. And last, but BY NO MEANS LEAST, a little more personal self-indulgience ith one of my greatest rock-fan super crushes, namely the awesome Aussie lead singer/guitarist of supercool punk bands the Distillers and Spinnerette. Still rocking her iconic status to this day, she remains a genuine inspiration ...

[numberonehatershrimp]

these lyrics are very literal so I think that small brain of yours can understand them just well enough.

Yes, I have been so afraid

Yes, I have been so distant

Consistently indifferent

It's hard to put that in an amicable sentence

I'm sorry

Actually, not really

There's just so much work

Too much work to be done

Committing to commitments

Hiding my indulgence

The freedom we sacrifice for love

L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E

(L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E) You also made me unafraid

(Yes I'm da brave boi)

You gave me light (filament)

You're patient (physician)

Persistently listen (gentlemen)

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling at the moment

Are you (uh-huh?)

Uhm (yes?)

I mean

(You're) In love with me

It's just so much fun

Too much fun

Oh, come on

How could you say no? (Don't say no)

To the fast and furious swan boat (flamingo)

The excitement we mistake for love

L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E

L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E

Though I enjoyed it all

Still, I have my doubts

You're a nice girl

I'm just not ready now

But then mommy said

It ain't family biz

Get over it

Toughen up

Just like the man we expected

So when are you gonna take the chance?

Let us be one

We are one (la-la)

All for one (la-la)

One for everyone

We stick together

Family is forever

Inside the train, we walked down the aisle

Furthermore

Our love opened the door

To a vehicle I'd rather not enter

Seconds later, a new future

I know that I agreed to this myself (myself, myself)

I wish it was their fault

Now I regret

Wish we were dead

Before we started feeding on each other

Blood is thicker

But the drink I prefer is water

Now that it's over (wish we never)

Listened to them (forged up our hearts)

Mixed up our souls (let's pretend)

That it didn't happen

Forbid (forbid)

Forgive (forgive)

Forget

L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E

L-O-V-E-L-O-V-E

Love, love

I DONT HAVE A SMALL BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THIS SONG AND ITS WEIRD LYRICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nancypullen]

Whatcha' Doing?

I eased into Sunday morning (that reminds me of a Lionel Richie song) and plan to spend the day doing as I please. The house is mostly clean. I could mop, but why would I? I need to dust in our bedroom, but what's one more day? I'm declaring this a day of rest and relaxation. I may toodle into Easton and treat myself to a lipstick at Ulta or hit the Target Halloween section and see what needs to come home with me. Or maybe not. I'm feeling lazy. I'm also feeling frugal- do I need a new lipstick? No. Do I need Halloween decor? Well, yes, but I won't die without it. It would just make me very, very happy. Better stay home. We'll probably go walk through the auction house and see what treasures are on the block this week. I saw this pretty cupboard on their website. It would be nice in the grandgirl's room but I'd have to get rid of her reading fort to make space and she's not ready for that. I'll let someone else love it.

Speaking of loving things, I'm still in a one-sided romance with my pumpkin plants. They look so healthy and beautiful and I just know they'll break my heart. According to experts, this stuff is a must.

I've grown pumpkins successfully in the past without using it, but I'm not taking any chances this year. Yesterday I gave them all a good drink and marked the calendar. I'll do that every two weeks as instructed, and send a plea to the universe to give me pumpkins. Once there are blooms I'll probably have to get out there with a paintbrush and pollinate them myself. If these things fail it won't be from lack of effort on my part.

Lack of effort....that made me think of my hair. It always comes back to my hair, doesn't it? *sigh* After getting several inches cut off a couple of weeks ago I keep hearing, "It must be easier." No, it's not. My hair is never easy to beat into submission. In fact, length and weight make it slightly easier. Without weight my hair springs into action, ready to fight me. Losing a lot of hair does make my drying time a bit shorter, so I like that. I'm okay with it at this point, but I'll never be in love with my hair. Having said all of that, and accepting that it is what it is, I had a moment on Friday evening that made me want to shave my head. I was invited to dinner with a group of women that I like. They range in age from late twenties to mid-sixties. We cover every bit of the maiden-mother-crone span. I can't say that I have a lot in common with any of them, but there's something to like about each and every one. I was comfortable, relaxed, having a nice time...when someone mentioned my haircut. I agreed that, yes, I'd taken off a lot of length (every woman there has long hair) and that I've decided to stop coloring. One exclaimed that now I look like Paula Deen and they all agreed.

Paula. Deen. I'm not knocking her, I just don't want to look like her. The sad part is that I think they're right.

I just can't win at this hair game, y'all. Did I mention that not one, not two, but three different library patrons told me that I remind them of Dolly Parton? I just don't see it. A large bust and a massive amount of blond hair, sure -but not a single similar feature otherwise. I love Dolly, but I do not swan around town in sequined jumpsuits with my hair teased to the heavens. Why would anyone say that? Prior to getting my hair cut I entertained the thought that I'd just let it get even longer and spend the rest of my years with a long white braid. I'll bet if I did that people would tell me I'm a dead ringer for Willie Nelson.

Not gonna' lie, I think I look more like Willie than Paula. Maybe folks should just keep their unflattering comments to themselves. There's a thought. From auctions to pumpkins to hair, once again I've taken you on a tour of the construction zone that is my brain. Piles of rubble, some stuff half finished, but there's always a plan. A loose plan, and subject to change, but still a plan. Before I wrap up this nonsense, I'll share what I'm reading. Haven't done that in ages and so far this book is interesting enough to share. I say "so far" because I'm only a couple of chapters in.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR SO FAR FOR 2024 BY THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW • A “thrilling and superbly crafted” (The Wall Street Journal) account of the most momentous voyage of the Age of Exploration, which culminated in Captain James Cook’s death in Hawaii, and left a complex and controversial legacy still debated to this day. “Hampton Sides, an acclaimed master of the nonfiction narrative, has taken on Cook’s story and retells it for the 21st century.”—Los Angeles Times

I really enjoy non-fiction and I'm sometimes embarrassed by what I don't know, or should have already learned. This is a fascinating account of someone we've all heard of, read about, but I had stored away only basic facts in my brain. Very interesting! This is where I'll leave you. It's time for a little Sunday lunch and then we'll mosey over to the auction house. Hope I find treasure. I'm sending out loads of love and wishing you a relaxing and peaceful Sunday. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[justdancekid]

Karaoke Night is Reserved for Adults - A JD Fanfiction

Series: Just Dance 2023 Edition

Characters: Sara and Wanderlust (Can't Stop The Feeling), Brezziana (Physical), Mihaly (Rather Be), and Jack Rose (Locked Out of Heaven)

Relationship: Brezziana/Mihaly

Rating: T

Type: Fluff, Song Lyrics, Karaoke

Description: The Danceverse 5 decides to go to the new Karaoke place where Mihaly sings a song that describes their true feelings towards Brezziana (AN: Curse you, Walking on Sunshine)

The Danceverse 5 was just sitting around the house, bored as ever.

"I can't believe that I'm gonna say this" Wanderlust started to speak "But, I wish that Night Swan would have a plan to attack us right now"

"There's nothing to do!" Sara said

"There's nothing good on TV." Jack said

"I don't know how many protein shakes I could make before my boredom's gone." Brezziana said

"And, I think I've done enough meditating." Mihaly said "I think my legs are asleep"

"I think we might have to go out and do something" Wanderlust said

"But, where to go?" Brezziana asked

"Oh, I know!" Mihaly start to say "Rubika told me that they've opened up a new Karaoke spot. We can go there!"

The entire group nodded

"Okay, let's go there" Wanderlust said, they took the boat, and started to fly to Rubika and her crew's new Karaoke spot

"Thanks, Mi! You saved this crew from a day of boredom" Brezziana said as she hugged them

She's so close... Mihaly thought as they start to blush

"Don't mention it, Brezzy." They replied

1 Hour later

They arrived at Rubika's Karaoke spot which she named it "Wannabe Singers"

"I'm positive this is the spot" Wanderlust said before the crew walked in

"Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!" They heard Rubika greet them "Welcome to Wannabe Singers! Where you sing and drink! But, drink too much, you can't sing at all! What can I do for you?"

"We would like 5 drinks!" Mihaly said

"5?!?" They all asked

"In order to sing, you have to order a drink." Rubika explained, with Jack nodded in respect

"Okay. Now that would be 5 for each person, or one for 5 people?" Rosaria asked. They all gave a quick look before they answered

"One for each"

"Perfect! Now that would be $5" Eteria said

Wanderlust paid for the drinks. And, they got a chance to sing a song of their choice.

Wanderlust and Sara was just having fun singing along to Danger! High Voltage - Electric Six, even if they didn't know the words

Brezziana sang Mood - 24kGolden, and was feeling herself with this song

Jack sang Gorilla by Bruno Mars, and couldn't help but to turn his charisma up to 15

And then, it was Mihaly's turn, and they were more hesitant to sing, not because they don't like to sing, it's that the song they chose hits a little close to their feelings to Brezziana

Brezziana puts her hand on their shoulder and said "It's okay, just go up there and sing your song out!"

That's all it took for them to go up there and grab the mic

"Rubika." They started to speak "Play the song"

Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and The Waves plays

As soon as the Danceverse 5 heard those beginning beats, they all knew why they chose this song, then they started to sing

I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby, I'm sure

And I just can't wait till the day when you knock on my door

Now everytime I go for the mailbox, gotta hold myself down

Cause I just can't wait till you write me you're coming around

But, they wasn't done, yet. They've pushed their vocals a little more for this

I'm walking on sunshine, wooah!!

I'm walking on sunshine, wooah!!

I'm walking on sunshine, wooah!!

And, don't it feel good!

The Danceverse 5 was surprised that Mihaly could sing this well, as far as they known them, they never heard them sing before. But, this was a pleasant surprise for them

I feel alive, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real

I feel alive, I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real

I'm walking on sunshine baby oh, oh yeah

I'm walking on sunshine baby oh

And, then they pushed a little more

I'm walking on sunshine, wooah

I'm walking on sunshine, wooah

I'm walking on sunshine, wooah

And, don't it feel good!

Everyone clapped as the song faded out, The Danceverse 5 giving Mihaly props for singing that well. They just smiled and blushed.

4 hours later

"Alright, party people! It's closing time! Finish your drinks, and come back tomorrow" Rubika announced

Everyone left and went home, with the Danceverse 5 being no different, but before Mihaly went in the house, Jack stopped them "Hey, Mihaly." They spoke

They turned around and faced him

"So, who was that song towards?" He asked as Mihaly blushed

"N-nobody!" They tried to lied their way out of it

"Bullshit it's towards nobody. As a singer, the love songs are always towards somebody or, in some cases, something. So, who it was towards"

They were blushing madly, they were trying to lie some more just trying to get back inside as they didn't want their secret to fly out

"I-it was towards Wanderlust!" Mihaly lied

Jack just stood there in a stunned silence or 5 seconds, before he started to laugh the same way back when he used to work for Night Swan

"KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I knew who it was towards, I just wanna hear you say it" Jack then leaned closer, then say "It was towards Brezziana, wasn't it?"

Now, they're blushing at an all time high

"I knew it, I've been knew it since my second day on the team." He said "But, also understand, it's not healthy keeping away your feelings like this. Maybe, get her alone in a room, and sing another romantic song, maybe Just The Way You Are, then she'll catch on" Then he whispered in their ear "Because I also know she loves you." Then, he walked in the house

Mihaly just stood there in a stunned silence, just thinking She loves me, She loves me, She loves me, She loves me, She loves me, She loves me

They ended up sleeping outside that night, being caught up in their own thoughts

The next morning

Sara walked out and saw Mihaly sleeping in the grass

"Mihaly, what the heck you doing sleeping out here?" She asked

They remembered all that what happened last night, they blushed and only said

"I don't remember"

[permanently-stressed]

okay so now completely unprompted I'll interpret 'you're on your own kid' in this light

Summer went away Still, the yearning stays I play it cool with the best of them I wait patiently He's gonna notice me It's okay, we're the best of friends Anyway

This paragraph totally works both ways. It could be Keefe talking about Sophie or Sophie talking about Fitz.

The line "I play it cool with the best of them" works with Keefe (feeling like he's useless since the Vackers, Dex and Sophie seem to have this designated role in the Black Swan while he's just there... being the son of the enemy...) or Sophie (feeling like a perpetual outsider thrown into the nobility and trying to act like a good moonlark so she feels deserving of her place)

I hear it in your voice You're smoking with your boys I touch my phone as if it's your face I didn't choose this town I dream of getting out There's just one who could make me stay All my days

"I dream of getting out, there's just one who could make me stay" is so Sokeefe coded it's actually ridiculous. It works best for Keefe that literally only stayed in Neverseen (he planned to leave sooner) but stayed for Sophie.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I waited ages to see you there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that you never cared

You're on your own, kid You always have been

"I waited ages to see you there/.../just to learn that you never cared" could be used to express Sophie's feeling in Lodestar. She thought he cared, but he left like it was nothing. She made him promise and he broke her trust. She waited (what felt like) ages to see him again and every time he didn't stay.

The title-line obviously works for both of them. The feeling of abandonment, the sinking realization that you're alone in this, that's a feeling they both could relate to.

I see the great escape So long, Daisy May I picked the petals, he loves me not Something different bloomed Writing in my room I play my songs in the parking lot I'll run away

"She loves me not" when Fitz and Sophie got together, "painting in his room" "I'll run away" those three lines just work perfectly for Keefe

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I called a taxi to take me there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that my dreams aren't rare

You're on your own, kid You always have been

"I search the party of better bodies just to learn that my dreams aren't rare" is sooooo Sophie it hurts. Better, prettier and smarter people surround her constantly. She wants to be important, and if she didn't cling to her role as moonlark, she'd stand no chance.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this I hosted parties and starved my body Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

The jokes weren't funny, I took the money My friends from home don't know what to say I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can't take away

"I gave my blood sweat and tears for this" (in Keefe's case, he quite literally gave his blood) "hosted parties" could be symbolic... but I'd have to think about that more extensively

"My friends from home don't know what to say" when Sophie burned down the Neverseen hideout and everyone sided against her...

Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned Everything you lose is a step you take So make the friendship bracelets Take the moment and taste it You've got no reason to be afraid

"Pages turned and bridges burned" is basically Keefe's character arc sumarized. "Make the friendship bracelets/take a moment and taste it" is Sophie learning to open up and that having friends and asking for help is okay (also works for Keefe)

You're on your own, kid Yeah, you can face this You're on your own, kid You always have been

your on your own kid is literally keefe. and soohie. just not a ship song it just relates to both of them

that song will never fail to make me cry

and would’ve could’ve should’ve too

idk if i’m way wrong or way right

[doktordismemberment]

Roundup #4: Albums of the year II: Supersize Me Edition

Oh, I'm sorry, did you think all these stupid fucking albums were ever gonna fit into just one list?

As before, these are in no particular order.

-

Sigh - Shiki - I feel like Sigh are one of those bands like Merciful Fate/ King Diamond where you either just "get it" or the entire concept is totally alien and off-putting to you. As for me? I like it.

-

Strigoi - Viscera - Terrifying blackened doom with slight hints of crust and grind via ex Paradise Lost, The Secret, Extreme Noise Terror personnel.

-

Sumerlands - Dreamkiller - These guys sound like a modern era version of my favorite Ozzy album, to the point I find myself really wishing they'd cover Secret Loser.

-

Astronoid - Radiant Bloom - Soaring ambient-pop-metal from Lowell MA. If you reimagined Mew's "And the Glass Handed Kites" as a thrash album it would probably sound a lot like Radiant Bloom.

-

Aeternam - Heir of the Rising Sun - Avenger/ Crusher era Amon Amarth meets Blind Guardian with lyrics about the crusades.

-

Wilderun - Epigone - I have never been the biggest "symphonic metal" guy but for whatever reason this album works for me, probably because I'm a gigantic prog nerd and vast swaths of this album remind me of Genesis/ Yes/ Van Der Graaf Generator... I have to assume at least one of these guys is a BCOM student 'cos it sounds like a lot of the arrangements here are coming out of a "classically trained" headspace.

-

Cult Of Luna - The Long Road North - Isis are long dead and Scott Kelly pretty much shit all over any chance of there ever being a new Neurosis album, so it is in Cult of Luna that we must place our hopes.

Luckily, "The Long Road North" carries the apocalyptically heaving quiet/ loud post-metal torch admirably.

-

KEN Mode - Null - I feel like KEN Mode have been getting progressively more brutal and terrifying for the past 20 years with the end result being NULL... An album that sounds like the nightmare bastard child of My War era Black Flag and early Swans. God help us all if they ever top this.

-

Otoboke Beaver - Super Champon - Splattery Japanese chick-punk that gets stuck in my head mercilessly. I feel like almost any track on this album could be subbed in for the theme song to Dorohedoro if that's any indication of the level of derangement happening here.

-

Ereb Altor - Vargtimman - I stumbled across this album while I was in the depths of a months long Bathory kick and wound up really enjoying it. Total Twilight of the Gods/ Hammerheart/ Nordland vibes.

I've heard that Vargtimman is a bit disappointing compared to some of their older albums but it's honestly the only one I've bothered to check out so I can neither confirm or deny that statement.

-

Chrome Ghost - House of Falling Ashes - Massive sludge/ grunge/ doom from California. Packs kind of a Floor meets Yob punch.

-

Freedom of Fear - Fairly straightforward 90s style melodeath/ melodic black metal with a touch of proggy technicality and killer vocals. My friend Jessie (RIP) would have absolutely loved this band.

-

Mordant Arrow - Rhythmic industrial crunch, icy washes of noise, and impeccable synth design combine with a rugged crust punk energy to create one of my favorite electronic albums in ages. A perfect soundtrack to the vast and inescapable surveillance state where we're all currently serving time.

-

40 Watt Sun - Achingly sad. Achingly beautiful. And oozing with a palpable sense of loss and desperately reaching for something as it slowly falls away from you.

"Wherever you are, the light will reach."

-

Major Parkinson - If Nick Cave's recent forays into electronic music had been a whole lot more successful they probably would have sounded something like Major Parkinson. YMMV but I really enjoy this album. This has kind of a Bowie vibe happening too, for whatever that's worth to anyone...

-

The Sawtooth Grin - Imagine Pg.99's Document #8 reconfigured as a Discordance Axis album and that's sorta the ballpark you're in with The Sawtooth grin. The lyrics to "What's Cremation?" fuck me up.

-

Grand Harvest - 90's Peaceville style doom 'n' gloom via mud-caked Bolt Thrower style death stomp and more than a slight hint of blackened snarl. More "At Last Light" than first light... A fitting soundtrack to a world that seems to be mostly on fire these days.

-

Lament Cityscape - Jesus christ why am I still writing? Anyway, I feel like this new Lament Cityscape is slightly more electronic sounding than some of the older stuff maybe? And the tracks are shorter. But it hits hard and gets out before you have time to get your bearings which is an approach I always appreciate.

-

Ok, I was gonna do Video Games too but seriously fuck that (for now)... Writing even this much has taken literal days and I haven't even copied the links yet.

I'm sure I forgot a ton of stuff I liked, and missed a ton of stuff you liked because how dare I, but realistically I can only make one of us happy so I'm gonna say fuck it and go hang out with my wife.

[lemoncupcake]

the bolands: a match made in shipper hell

[caption: 10 gifs with purple details from good girls, of beth and dean boland, paralleling their behaviour. gifs on the left column show beth, while gifs on the right column show dean.

the first row shows them cheating on each other - beth with rio in 4x06 and dean with gayle in 3x08. the second row shows them lying about medical conditions to not suffer consequences - beth by saying she’s pregnant in 3x02 and dean by saying he has cancer in 1x04. the third row shows them belittling each other - beth by inderectly calling dean an idiot in 3x10 and dean by saying he’s calling the shots on boland bubbles by himself in 4x02. the fourth row shows them infantilizing each other - beth by suggesting dean ride his bike up and down their driveway like jade in 4x06 and dean by screaming at her to sit down in a very paternalistic way after she asks him not to yell in 1x06. the fifth row shows them saying “i love you” to each other after their lies are found out - beth in 4x03 after dean’s arrest and dean in 1x01 after beth found out about his affairs and their financial problems.]

[nemeseos-noctua]

For Xiao, Zhongli and Albedo: what if their s/o (separate) made a song for them https://youtu.be/n8g-LdDf-pA note: S/O isn't immortal haha but they made the song in case they probs leave just to reassure their beloved loses them and uses it as some lullaby for them or something--

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: xiao, zhongli, albedo (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: mentions of death, xiao & albedo & zhongli story spoilers, not proofread

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: for those wondering: the song is abt finding ‘you’ (the characters in this case) over and over again, even after death. bc you (reader) are never truly gone bc u were in their (the characters) hearts

also srry if i trailed off w this request!! i didnt know whether u wanted an angst or fluff ending!

stares at u menacingly

is this. FORESHADOWING. that ur gonna DIE. hello?! 

once you clear it up that it’s just merely a song because you’re a mortal and he’s not, he’ll relax a bit

but then he’ll get a lil sad 😔

he knows. he knows death is inevitable, even for someone like him. he knows, one day, one day he will be alone again

but he wishes it didn’t have to be this way. the adeptus xiao, wishing for a happiness so unobtainable... 

Xiao was silent as you sang him your melody. The lyrics were so concise—yet, he felt as though you had rammed a spear into his heart multiple times.

He knew you were not permanent. That you were but a temporary, fleeting mortal soul, a soul who’d disappear like a wisp in the wind.

Your song—it reminded him of the Dihua Flute he had heard all those millennia ago. It reminded him of the eons he had spent, alone, the eons he had spent, cold. 

All of those memories he had hidden in the corner of his brain, racking up cobwebs ever since you came. You were the light that’d pierce through the darkness of the night, the darkness of his mind. You were someone so, so much more than a ‘mortal’ he had dubbed you as.

And yet, he wished he could dub you as anything, anything but ‘mortal’. Mortals meant temporary, mortals meant erasable. 

But you, you were not erasable. Never, never, ever. For as long as he’d live, as long as his name was ‘Xiao’.

You—you were the person whom he’d fallen in love with. [L/N] [Y/N].

he’d memorize the lyrics and tune of your song

though—as long as you live, he never wants to hear it again. hearing it once had already sent him into a dysphoric state, a state of which he seemed to mourn the future, to mourn what was about to come

and though—and though xiao knows, he knows you will leave him, that you will disappear like the rest...

he wants to believe. with his arms wrapped around you, with his hand clasped in yours, he wants to believe you will be by his side for eternity

The moon was silent, opening up a pathway for the Vigilant Yaksha as teal strands of hair fluttered with the wind, dancing like a needle and thread. 

Long ago, you were by his side. Long ago, you had sang these same words to him—

���I’ll love every version of you.

And you’re never truly gone

As long as a part of you in me lives on.”

The world was quiet without you.

Maybe because—because it wasn’t you who was singing the song.

zhongli will have a bittersweet smile etched onto his face

he, like xiao, has come to accept the fact that you are but a fleeting life in the sands of time. and though it pains him greatly—zhongli has suffered many, many losses

though, that does not mean yours is numb to him. goodness, no! if anything, yours would sting him for an eternity

but zhongli knows, for his wisdom is unmatched. he knows that he should take this time with you and spend it to the best of his expenses. he knows that though you may not be with him for the next hundreds of years, to have you in these mere decades is enough for him

and though his heart is already beginning to brace itself for a swan dive into the future, he—he, the mortal zhongli—will love you in this lifetime, and the next, and the next

“Did you arrange the lyrics yourself? They are quite beautiful, love,” Zhongli smiled, though, you did not miss the way his amber eyes flickered in melancholy.

“Hehe, yeah! I made this song for you, Zhongli! Because I know...” You trailed off, rubbing the back of your neck bashfully as the consultant wrapped his arms around you, the warmth of his body and the beat of his heart pounding against his chest. 

Walking among mortals—Zhongli is reminded, time and time again, life is temporary. It always is, and always will be—even to someone such as himself.

Eternity was impossible, unreachable, but the ex-archon must admit... 

He wanted to spend eternity with you.

albedo had told you of his concerns, of how he’s afraid to one day destroy mondstadt

it was obvious how he hinted the fact that he may break up with you. not because he fell out of love per se, but for your own good. 

and, a part of you had wished he had given you a chance. yet, you knew, you knew he did. he loved you, he loved you like how he loved alchemy, he loved you like how the sun would nurture and care for plants after the darkness of the night—

yet once again, albedo pulled through. he did it for you, he stopped loving you for— you

but you will never stop loving him.

Albedo sat in the corner of his camp, the fire doing nothing to alleviate the cold of his heart. 

He was alone. Again. The alchemist somehow always found himself in this situation—lost, forgotten, tossed away like a used beaker. 

But then he remembered, hah. It wasn’t him who was tossed away, it was you. It was your crestfallen face when Albedo ‘broke up’ with you, stating how he was ‘busy’ with experiments that you knew were just him shielding you from his inevitable doom.

Somehow, his mind always trailed back to you... as it always did. Whenever he felt powerless, the mere thought of your voice and laugh somehow brought him back to the known, back to hope. 

“But my love, I will hold you close to me.

‘Till you fade from my arms peacefully.”

The melody of that song you had strummed just for him still replayed in his mind like a broken stereo, like an endless music box that’d be played whenever he fell down.

Never before has Albedo wished to forget you—but, during this time, during this freezing snowy night,

He wished you never brought him warmth, for he feels colder than before. 

— constellations! 💫

[snowstark]

Growing Wings.

READ ON AO3 For @starkerfestivals | Fill: Mafia AU “Don’t fucking touch me,” Tony snarls, grabbing Peter’s wrists to rip them off of him. “Then don’t fucking talk,” Peter spits back. Tony growls and shoves him back, but Peter just pushes right up against him again, getting in his space. He can feel his warm breath on his face as he snarls, “You think I wanna hear your fucking voice after you left like that? Tell me why I shouldn’t just punch your lights out right now." And ouch, that kind of hurts. Tony shoves him off, jeering, “Well, you wouldn’t want to break my nose, sweetheart, we both know how much you love my pretty face.” “Yeah, enough to want to spit on it, maybe.” S.H.I.E.L.D. isn’t the worst place to work. Tony’s been there for a while now, and he gets along just fine. Then, he gets sent back to a world that he thought he’d never return to. I have now achieved a blackout, yay! Thank you to @vaguekiwi for beta'ing!

The barstools are mahogany. They blend into the red-brown wood of the bar, illuminated by the glow of lights behind the bottles. The people blend in, too—clinking glasses and flashing scars as subtle hands exchange wads of bills and tight packets of pot, mingling amidst the sharp smell of whiskey and beer between them; leather jackets that conceal switchblades and guns, hung on large shoulders and frames like bedsheets on a king-sized bed. It all paints a cohesive picture, barely anything out of place.

Except for the boy sitting at the edge of the bar. The Parker heir.

He barely looks legal. Pink cheeks, scruffy brown hair, and pretty pink lips sipping at his daiquiri. There’s a fat golden ring on his index finger. He’s dressed to fit in, but with his youthful face and frilly drink, he looks more like he’s wearing daddy’s clothes than anything.

Tony wants to ruin him.

He wants to grab him by the scruff and drag him down from the throne he’ll be stepping up to and pull him into a kiss, wants to feel the heat of his breath on his neck, wants to… buy him a drink.

“That one’s on me.” Tony pulls a chair out to sit next to the boy, and opens his mouth to order a beer when— no. “Sex on the beach,” he tells the bartender, and gets a weird look from the both of them, accompanied by a smirk lacing the boy’s lips. Otherwise, silence. He waits for his drink to be fixed before taking a sip from it, swirling the liquid in the glass loftily before saying, “Want a taste?”

“Not unless it’s from your mouth.” Parker’s voice is pretty. It reminds Tony of a mockingbird’s song, a sound of nature itself, with each word spilling from his mouth a pretty melody.

Tony lifts his eyebrows. “What, you don’t want a pretty babe to take home?”

The Parker boy pointedly takes a sip from his daiquiri.

Tony feels his lips curve into a smile. Okay. He gets it. He’s pretty sure he sees the other’s eyes crinkle a bit too at the corners. “Tony,” he finally says.

“Peter.”

As if he doesn’t know.

“Pretty name for a pretty boy. You got someone to take care of you, treat you like you’re a diamond?”

“I am a diamond.” Peter tips his head back to take the rest of his daiquiri into his mouth in one large gulp. “And I can find someone to come and make me shine whenever I want.”

“Lucky guy, finding a gem in all this dirt.” Tony keeps his attention on the ice cubes clinking in his glass. “Makes me wonder if that’s what you come here for.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Peter set his empty glass down. He swipes the tip of his index finger along the rim of the glass, then pops it between his lips to suck on it before turning to face Tony, leaning in. He lets his hands rest gingerly on Tony’s shoulder, just barely gripping as he breathes into his ear, “Why don’t we take this home, Tony?”

Tony likes the way he says his name.

He thinks he’ll like it even more when Peter’s moaning it.

He lifts his gaze to meet Peter’s. Peter doesn’t budge, only pulling back the slightest bit, nose a few inches away from Tony’s. Tony watches his eyelashes flutter with each blink. It’s like a swan taking flight, feathers fluttering in the air and daring Tony to reach up to snag one for himself—a keepsake, or a trophy.

His lips quirk up when Peter gives him a look, clearly saying, well? Tony licks the lingering taste of his drink away from his lips so he can replace it with Peter. “Think your father’ll approve?”

Tony knows he won’t. Peter knows that too.

Peter smiles. “We’ll just have to keep quiet, won’t we?” His hands slide down to fist the front of Tony’s shirt and pull him out of his seat by it.

Tony barely remembers to toss a wad of bills onto the counter before he’s guided out of the bar.

-- -- --

Tony’s in the process of sticking a piece of gum underneath the briefing table when the meeting finally ends. Fury talked for a painfully long time today. Tony’s pretty sure he even saw Rogers’ eyes close a few times, and everyone knows that if Rogers is dozing, the situation’s bad.

His left foot’s fallen asleep. He stomps it subtly a few times before getting up from his seat. The room’s clearing out now, agents talking to each other and chuckling as they shuffle through the doorway. Tony stops by the door, letting Rumlow pass through before turning to Fury, who’s now digging through a box of donuts.

“You know,” Tony says when Fury doesn’t acknowledge him, “might be good for team morale if you actually share your snacks with everyone. Oh, and you know what? We really gotta work on these outfit designs. I mean, how do you expect us to get the job done when half of us are fighting a wedgie?”

Fury’s quiet for a few moments, but it doesn’t faze Tony. Fury’s either astronomically loud or terrifyingly quiet; there’s no in between.

Finally, he speaks. “Found the meeting boring, Stark?” Fury’s eye flicks up to him as he takes a monstrous bite from the donut. It sends sprinkles raining down onto the table and floor for some poor janitor to take care of later.

“Always is, Sir,” Tony replies.

“I’ll always wonder why I let someone with the attention span of a goldfish sign up.”

“Maybe because this goldfish has brought the most innovative ideas you’ve seen in the past three decades.” Tony reaches to snag a donut from the box, but Fury slaps his hand away. It hurts.

“You know, I caught wind of something new today. Toomes.”

Tony blinks. “We don’t deal with people like him.”

He doesn’t deal with people like him. Not anymore.

Fury carries on like he hasn’t even spoken. “Word has it that the Toomes are deep in debt with the Parker family. The Parkers want to collect; you think Toomes is just gonna hand over a small fortune that easily?”

Tony feels his heart leap into his throat at the words.

Parker. Parker. Parker. He repeats the name over and over in his head, and realizes that he’s been silent for a second too long. Fury’s looking at him with a raised eyebrow as he takes a fierce bite from his donut.

“Probably not,” he manages, sounding as dumb as he feels.

Fury sucks sugar off of one of his fingers. “It’s allegedly reported that Toomes’ men are going in to get rid of their debt through unconventional means.”

“They’re not paying them off.”

Fury snorts. “Hell, no. They’re going in to get rid of the Parkers. Which includes our little asset, Rumlow. Member of the Parker family since before the boy even became kingpin, he’s been… interested in testifying against the family if it means he gets a lesser sentence to bite him in the ass later. He’s the weak link in the family, and we need him alive.” He dusts his hands off. “Barnes has already volunteered to infiltrate the Parkers at the higher levels, but we need more people to go in, hang around at their front and get them talking.”

“Best of luck to them.” Tony swallows and looks away furtively.

Fury makes a disgruntled noise in his throat. “Rogers will step in if no one else wants the gig—seems eager to, actually—but really, Stark, I’m bringing this up because I thought you might be interested.”

“Me,” Tony repeats, fighting back the urge to swallow. His mind jumps to skin on skin, fingers lacing together amongst soft silky bed sheets.

“Sure.” Fury shrugs. “You think fast on your feet, and you know how to get out of sticky situations if anything goes south. You know it’s not every day that I offer an agent a job like this—it’s your chance to prove yourself, Stark.”

Tony sucks the inside of his cheek.

“We only need someone to watch Barnes’ back, sit around the area and report back if there’s an issue. It should be easy for someone like you, just mingling with the associates of the family, indulging in their favourite hobbies, bonding, you know how it goes.”

Does he?

“I…” Tony trails off. His eyes flick down to the box of donuts, lingering there for a few moments. Fury actually nudges it open for him, like it’s positive reinforcement for considering the gig. “Can I tell you my decision tomorrow?”

Fury grunts.

Tony takes that as a ‘yes’ and hurries out before Fury can say anything else.

-- -- --

It still smells the same, Tony realizes. Leather and alcohol accompanied by raucous laughter and cigarettes and money. It feels the same, too. The barstools haven’t changed, except the leather is cracked now. He runs his fingers over it. It’s like a scar, if someone ripped off a wing and let the flesh mould over with new skin.

He orders himself a drink. The bartender makes quick work of it and Tony gives her a nod of thanks before taking it from her. At least it’s not the same bartender.

It only takes him a few minutes to empty the glass. He signals for another, then turns ever so slightly to side-eye the big hunk of meat next to him. It’s not a face that he recognizes, and he’s not sure if he’s more disappointed or relieved by that fact.

Probably relieved.

“Long day?” he sighs, knowing as soon as the words come out of his mouth that it’s a stupid thing to say. It sounds green, sounds like two suburban dads at the bar of a family restaurant.

Tony gets completely ignored for his trouble. Okay, fair enough. He’s gotten rusty—which is good, he reminds himself.

He needs another drink.

He downs it in a few big swallows, which catches the attention of a couple people in the bar. He gulps past the burn and it means his voice rasps a bit when he tries again. “I had a run last night up on 116th, got jumped by like, ten guys.” He hesitates before adding, “I think they were with Toomes or something.”

He gets a few more eyes, and some heads tilting in his direction. Okay, interest. No engagement yet, but that’s okay.

Tony’s grip tightens around the glass in his hand and he plunges ahead. “Heard they’re gonna take a run at us about their debt to—” don’t say his name, he could at least pretend that wasn’t real right now “—to the boss. Think your head’ll be one of the ones they cut off?”

That gets the big guy to turn to him, a scowl on his face. “Toomes would be lucky to snip even one lock of my hair,” he growls. And, admittedly, the man has great hair.

“Hey, new guy!” Five others have swivelled in their seats, and one has his eyes fixed on Tony. “Toomes really planning something against the family?”

Tony smirks triumphantly and motions toward the bartender. “I’ll tell you all about it, friends. Drinks are on me.”

-- -- --

Peter lets out a soft yelp as Tony practically tackles him onto the bed, dragging him into a kiss. Peter’s fingers fumble as he yanks off his jacket and shirt, moaning against his lips, and Tony helps him out of them. He hears the sound of Peter’s pants dropping to the floor and his lips part in anticipation. It’s exhilarating to take apart Peter’s exterior piece by piece to reveal what’s inside, to take it for himself and ravish it.

“That hurts, you asshole,” Peter laughs as Tony nips from his jaw to his collarbone. Tony ignores him, just sucking a mark onto the pale expanse of skin right above his collarbone, and then twisting to kiss Peter.

Peter gasps into the kiss, and Tony swallows his noises up hungrily like his life depends on it. Peter gives a small whine and pushes him. Tony falls back onto the bed with a confused noise, propping himself up on his elbow. “What?” he pants. “You don’t— is something wrong?”

“No, ‘s just—” Peter licks his lips, cheeks flushed bashfully now. “You still have your shirt on.”

“Huh?” Tony looks down and feels a small smile tugging at his lips at the realization that Peter’s right. “Oh.” He swipes his hair back with a hand, flustered, and Peter bursts into laughter.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you,” Peter tells him teasingly, already reaching forward. He makes quick work of Tony’s clothes with clumsy, eager fingers, yanking and tugging at buttons and zippers before copying Tony’s actions from earlier, dusting a few kisses onto his jaw. Tony tips his head back, eyes fluttering shut again, settling back into that warm, fuzzy place in his head where everything he can feel and see and smell and taste is Peter.

Peter’s touches are more hesitant than his, less experienced, maybe. It makes him wonder if Peter’s ever really done more than make out with someone, or if he’s ever even been in bed with another guy.

His suspicions are confirmed when Peter pulls back the slightest bit and whispers, “Is this okay?” as he lets a hand slip down, eyes flicking up to his face uncertainly.

He’s younger than Tony; they’re both young, but Tony likes the idea of teaching Peter from scratch, moulding him from untouched putty to a sinning angel, claiming what’s his. He gives a small smile through half-lidded eyes. “Yeah,” he breathes, “you’re more than okay.”

It’s like the words settle the apprehension in Peter, because he relaxes, tense shoulders dropping in what’s probably relief. Tony doesn’t like the idea of Peter worrying when he’s supposed to be enjoying, so he just grabs him and flips him over, eliciting a surprised, “Oof!” from him. He grinds down on Peter, watching delightedly as Peter lets out an obscene moan, and he clamps a hand over his mouth.

“Thought you said we gotta stay quiet,” he whispers.

Peter licks the palm of his hand to coax it off of him. “We are quiet.”

“Not you,” Tony teases.

Peter scowls. “Fuck off.”

Tony kisses the pouty look off of his face. It slides away easily once his lips are slotted against Peter’s, wet and sloppy.

And then Peter surges up in a bout of energy, and Tony falls back with a surprised noise. “I wanna,” Peter pants as he dusts kisses on Tony’s neck, nuzzling and nipping, “I wanna— I want you to make me—”

Peter steals his breath from him with each kiss until his chest is tight and Tony has to push him away the slightest bit to gasp, “Your father— last chance to—”

Neither of them give a shit about Peter’s father. It’s foreplay at best, now. The thrill of getting caught, the feeling of ecstasy as they touch what’s forbidden, snagging an apple from the garden, it only urges them on like fuel added to fire.

“Still in the family, aren’t you?” Peter plays along, hands sliding down to Tony’s hips. “Least you’re not a fed.”

Tony barks out a laugh. “Yeah, yeah,” he agrees breathlessly. “Least ‘m not a fed.”

And then he takes Peter for himself, drinking in every little noise he makes as hunger ravishes his body, basking in the dove’s pretty noises.

-- -- --

“Another one!”

They all burst into laughter as the big blond guy—Thor, apparently—smashes his glass on the floor of the bar. The bartender rolls her eyes. Broken kitchenware isn’t a scarcity with Thor around here.

Tony’s not drunk. He’s spilled a couple of drinks instead of downing them, and he’s been sneaking refills of water instead of alcohol when he can. And, he can hold his liquor well. He’s not willing to risk his job to indulge himself.

He has, however, gotten the others to drink their fair share. They’re red-faced and all they can do is roar with laughter. It reminds him of how he used to do this too, come into the bar and share a drink or two before rushing off to press his lips to fair skin as hands push through his hair. For a split second, he feels a pang of longing in his chest.

He instantly forgets about it when Thor claps him on the chest. “Our— Our heads!” he booms, then snorts. “Toomes better watch out; we could step on ‘im even like this, crush his puny skull with our boots.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” another guy snorts, elbowing Thor in the side. “Don’t you ‘member what happened last time? Parker had a nosebleed for days.”

The words make Tony jerk in his seat before he even realizes it, and then he turns back around. “Yeah, yeah, Rumlow better watch out, heard he’s a popular target,” he chuckles in an effort to regain his composure, lifting his hand to signal for another drink.

“Rumlow?” An unfamiliar voice sounds and they all turn around.

It’s another face that Tony doesn’t recognize, and it makes him realize once again just how long it’s actually been since he was last here. He takes a quiet sip from his drink, and the guy narrows his eyes at Tony.

Maybe he’s been here too long. He wants to check his watch, but he refrains.

“Rumlow ain’t here,” the guy says. He doesn’t budge, preventing Tony from sliding out of his seat. “Boss sent him to Siberia two days ago. I would know, ‘m his partner.”

One of the guys snorts. “You sure, Rollins? Last I heard, you two went through a little break-up. Did he dump you, or was it the other way around, big guy?”

There’s a loud cracking noise, and the guy falls off his seat, clutching a bloody nose. “Jesus fuck!”

They have the attention of the whole bar now, and yep, this has officially gone downhill. Like, to the depths of the earth, to the underworld where Hades resides type of bad. Tony can feel the palms of his hands getting sweaty.

Rollins gives Tony a lingering look. “What did you say your name was?”

Fuck. And that’s his cue to leave.

He tosses a wad of bills onto the counter, then says, “I gotta get home.”

“He didn’t say his name.” It’s Thor now, staring at Tony with wide, suspicious eyes now.

Tony would rather not get into a fight with Thor, or any of the guys here, really. They’re all massive.

He needs to get the fuck out of here and go straight to Fury to ask him what the hell is going on, because what does Rolllins mean Rumlow is in fucking Siberia?

“You need to see the boss,” Rollins says, and that’s the only warning Tony gets before the front of his shirt is roughly snatched in a massive paw.

“Whoa, whoa, big guy, I’m sorry—my name’s Anthony Howard; didn’t mean anything by it; just heard stuff about Toomes. Look, I really do gotta get home—”

And then Rollins yanks, making him trip forwards, and then there are hands gripping his shoulders and his wrists are being yanked behind his back like he’s getting arrested. He’s dragged off, and he prays that whoever the boss is, it’s not him.

But he knows that it is, and there’s no way he can avoid it now.

-- -- --

Tony’s there when Peter’s father is gutted like a fish.

He wraps his arms around the boy, letting him scream and cry until he’s exhausted, throat raw and scratchy from how hard he’s worked it. His cries sound more like the shrieks of a crow by the end of it, and Tony runs a hand down his spine in an effort to soothe him.

“You’re okay,” he says, voice low, and Peter shudders and shakes his head in a small, jerky movement. He doesn’t believe it yet, but Tony knows he will be.

He doesn’t stop to wonder whether they’ll be alright.

He’s there when Peter steps up.

He’s there when Peter rules like the king he was meant to be.

He’s there when Peter ruthlessly rips off the wings of the mockingbird inside himself to lock them up in a cage and leave them to rot. He’s there when Peter transforms into an eagle, a bird of prey; he’s there when Peter stops singing.

Until one night, he’s not there. He’s slipping out of the compound, silent as a field mouse running away from an eagle under the gaze of the silver moonlight.

And he’s not there when Peter wakes up.

-- -- --

At first glance, Tony thinks Peter looks the same. But then he takes a second look, and he sees that he’s grown a bit taller, his face isn’t as youthful, and he has a small, healed scar on his cheekbone, just a faint white line. Most people wouldn’t even notice it, but it catches Tony’s attention right away, and he hates himself for it, hates that he has the memory of Peter’s face etched into his brain.

Peter’s men don’t even get a chance to say anything, because the moment Peter’s eyes land on Tony’s face, his lip curls up and he barks, “Out!”

They fumble for a moment, like they’re not sure whether they should be dragging Tony out of the room too, but when Peter’s scowl grows, they scuttle out with their tails tucked between their legs. Tony sneers at their backs.

Peter strides forward and Tony clenches his jaw in preparation for what he knows is coming.

The moment the door slams shut, Peter flies into action. He grabs the front of Tony’s shirt and shoves him against the wall.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Tony snarls, grabbing Peter’s wrists to rip them off of him.

“Then don’t fucking talk,” Peter spits back.

Tony growls and shoves him back, but Peter just pushes right up against him again, getting in his space. He can feel his warm breath on his face as he snarls, “You think I wanna hear your fucking voice after you left like that? Tell me why I shouldn’t just punch your lights out right now.”

And ouch, that kind of hurts. Tony shoves him off, jeering, “Well, you wouldn’t want to break my nose, sweetheart, we both know how much you love my pretty face.”

“Yeah, enough to want to spit on it, maybe.”

“You sure you don’t want me to be doing that to you? Wouldn’t get off on it, wouldn’t blow a load the moment I touch you? Happened way too much in the past, didn’t it? Don’t wanna relive those memories, honey? And this scar—” Tony reaches out, not even flinching when Peter tries to slap him away “—what happened here, huh? Fell off the swingset when Daddy wasn’t here to watch you?”

Peter pulls a face of disgust at his words, and Tony almost barks out a laugh, which would’ve incensed him more. It almost makes him wish he had; he knows how much Peter hates when he calls himself daddy. Almost as much as he hates being called kid.

Tony presses his thumb onto the scar when he gets no response, and Peter smacks his hand down to snap, “Just the result of the last guy who walked out on us. He came out a lot worse than me; should’ve done the same to you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Tony lifts his eyebrow tauntingly. “Then why didn’t you, huh? Did I wear you out too much, princess? Didn’t have it in you for round two? Should’ve known; pretty little thing like you wouldn’t have been able to handle it anyway—”

Tony falls back with a grunt when Peter tackles him, hands flying up to wrench him off. Except now he feels lips roughly mouthing at his neck. And then Peter snarls, “Get yourself out of these fucking clothes, I fucking hate you, always making shit harder.”

“Then ask nicely, kid,” Tony bites back. Peter’s head jerks at the pet name, nostrils flaring, and Tony triumphantly shoves him off enough to yank off his own shirt. He stumbles with how hard he pulls, and then there are hands that are tugging too, helping him out of it, and he grunts, “No fuckin’ patience at all, should’ve known you’d be begging to gag on my dick before you even—”

“Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.” Peter throws the shirt behind himself before throwing himself at Tony again.

His nails bite harshly into Tony’s skin, making him hiss between clenched teeth. “Put those damn claws away, Christ.” He shoves Peter back again and they stumble together against the wall, then fumble for another moment as Peter wrestles out of his own shirt.

The moment the shirt drops to the floor, discarded like a feather floating to the ground, Tony grabs Peter’s shoulders and manhandles him over to his desk. He manages to get him bent over it despite the kicking and thrashing that Peter puts up, but Tony knows Peter, knows that he isn’t fighting as hard as he can, knows that he wants Tony to wrestle with him. There’s also no denying the fact that despite the years that have passed and hardened them both, Tony’s still larger and stronger than Peter, and Peter loves it. Tony can see it in his eyes; he’s practically feral every time he rests his eyes on Tony.

“Remember the last time we did this?” Tony laughs roughly, pressing flush against him as he bends over, caging him in with his arms. Peter snarls and jerks his head back, but Tony easily avoids it. He pinches the back of his neck harshly in reprimand and Peter chokes, straining against him. Tony lets him gasp and heave for a moment before licking a hot, wet stripe from his neck to his ear. “You think you can scream as loudly as you did then for me right now, sweetheart?”

“Over my dead body,” Peter gasps.

“Not the biggest turn-on.” In a lightning-fast movement, Tony rips Peter’s pants off. The button goes flying and Peter hisses.

“That was expensive, you asshole!”

Tony opens his mouth to snap back, but then his breath catches in his throat at the sight of the red lace. Peter’s face has gone a shade that’s equally as bright and he snarls in Tony’s grasp.

“Ohhh,” Tony says, beginning to laugh, and it sounds mean, which only serves to aggravate Peter even more. “This is why you were fighting so hard, huh? Little prissy Parker, wearing fuckin’ panties like you have someone to strut for?”

“Shut. Up,” Peter grits out.

Tony grins, feeling a sadistic little ball of heat furling in his gut, and he leans in to breathe, “Make me,” before cracking a hand down on his ass. The sound is loud, ringing throughout the whole room, and Peter keens. He’s pushing back against Tony like he can’t help himself now, spine curving nicely in a way that makes Tony want to kiss every inch of his body.

Tony slots his hips against his ass, grinding down and letting out a low growl in his throat. “That’s right. That’s fuckin’ right. Can’t make me, can you? Bet’chu wanted this so badly, can never help yourself, can you? C’mon, little mockingbird, admit it—it doesn’t feel as good when you’re on your own, I get it, I—”

He does get it. He’s forgotten how good they are together, and years apart only riles him up further, gets him wanting more, more, more. He knows Peter feels the same, and now, he wants to hear him say it.

“Tell me you want this,” he growls, and Peter jerks in his grasp. “Tell me,” he repeats, cracking a hand down on his ass, “you want this.”

“Fuck off,” Peter grits, but Tony can hear it, the desperation and arousal in his voice.

“Tell me you want it, let me fucking hear it.” He brings his hand down in earnest, making Peter gasp. His ass turns a dusty pink as he jerks and whines in his grip. Tony can see his cock growing harder by the minute, encased by lace. “C’mon, lemme hear it, what’s the matter, kid? Cat got your tongue? No point in hiding, you know, we know you want it, probably been waiting for this moment for years now. Bet you put fuckin’ panties on every day hoping I’d see them.”

He punctuates his words with smacks, hand cracking loudly and ringing through the room, and Tony bites out, “C’mon, sweetheart, you being shy ‘cause you don’t want me to fuck you? Or are you still thinking about that time I nearly let you fuck me? That was a fucking mistake, wasn’t it? You got a hungry fuckin’ hole, you think your dick would’ve lasted more than a minute in my—”

“I want it!” Peter finally gasps, tears in his eyes. “I want it, I want it, I want you to fuck me, I want your hands on me, I want you to fucking take me, take me, fuck me—”

“Fuck!” Tony sees red. He fumbles with the zipper of his pants, yanking it down as fast as he can.

“Jerk,” Peter pants. “You’re a fucking asshole, bastard, selfish piece of shit, cock-sucking fed—mmph!” He chokes when Tony slaps a hand over his mouth.

“The mouth on you, kid, Christ!” Tony pulls back, then tears off his panties with his hands. Peter jerks from his position, rearing up again, but Tony puts a stop to whatever he’s about to do by shoving him back down with a grip on his neck. He roughly makes Peter turn his head, then mocks, “If you can’t learn to say nice things, then you shouldn’t say anything at all.”

Peter doesn’t fight him—as much as he expected him to, at least—when he balls the panties up in his hand and stuffs them into his mouth. Tony laughs when Peter’s face flushes, and he taunts, “Can’t even spit and snarl like you want to anymore, can you?” Peter jerks in his grasp again, and Tony bites his shoulder in reprimand. “‘s okay,” he says against his skin, grinning, “I gotcha.”

He brings his hand down on his ass again, admiring how pink it turns, and then starts roughly opening the drawers of his desk. His other hand is gripping Peter’s wrists behind his back, pinning him down. Peter’s breathing is raw and heavy in his throat even with the garment in his mouth, but there’s no denying how hard his dick is, and nothing delights Tony more than that.

“Lube,” he mutters impatiently under his breath, digging through the drawers. “Don’t tell me you don’t have fucking lube.”

Peter makes an indignant noise that Tony disregards.

When he finds it tucked under a stack of envelopes, he rips the small packet open. He presses his lubed fingers to Peter’s hole, and Peter jerks, then pushes back against him.

“Fuckin’ hungry for it, aren’t you?” Tony mutters as he works a finger in. “You know what hasn’t changed? How tight your fucking hole is.”

Peter moans behind the panties in his mouth, thighs shaking as Tony works him open. He’s not rough, but he’s not gentle either—just the way Peter likes it.

Tony’s pumping three fingers in and out of his hole by the time Peter makes a muffled noise. It sounds suspiciously like, “Hurry up,” but he can’t know for sure, and he doesn’t care to know either—Peter would kill him if he stopped to ask. So he just pinches Peter’s cheek, making him groan, before straightening.

He spits in his hand and brings it down to his cock, pumping it a few times. Peter twists to look at him, eyes blown and heavy, and Tony smirks. “Cock-drunk little thing,” he drawls, seeing the spark that ignites in Peter’s eyes at his words.

Tony squeezes Peter’s hip as he presses the head of his cock to his hole. It slips in easily, rim fluttering around him, and Tony hisses out a small, “Shit,” before pushing in slowly.

Peter gives a muffled moan, just taking it, and Tony pants, “Good boy,” before he lets his hips roll.

It’s slow at first, but then they pick up the pace once Peter starts making little noises in his throat, even pushing back to meet him halfway. It’s heaven to Tony, to feel Peter all around him like this, even more so when he gets to grip his hips and mark him up.

“You know,” Tony pants after a while, fingers digging into Peter’s skin hard enough to bruise, “it’s almost too boring with you so quiet. Maybe I should just—”  He reaches out, and takes the panties from his mouth.

Peter’s moans and gasps fill up the room immediately, and Tony gives him a sloppy grin in return for the glare he gets. “There we go. But I don’t want to just carry this, so let’s…” He stuffs the panties into Peter’s hand, then guides them down to his dick. “I want you to wrap your filthy panties around your filthy cock and make a fucking mess of them.”

There’s no hiding how turned on Peter is by that; his eyelashes flutter and his lips part in a silent moan. Tony snaps his hips up, and Peter moans, jumping into action. “I fucking hate you,” he pants, even as he follows Tony’s order.

Tony laughs and gives one of his cheeks another spank. “I know,” he grins, then lets his hips pick up the pace. He digs his nails into one cheek, and Peter moans so loudly that he’s pretty sure the entire fucking room shakes. “Sing any louder than that, ‘n you’re gonna have people comin’ in to see you fuckin’ impaled on my dick, crying like a kid who just found his lost stuffie,” Tony taunts in his ear.

Peter gives a snarl, but there’s no real fight in his body; he just wants Tony and they both know it.

Tony closes his eyes, head lolling back and lips parting as he works his hips fast until he’s pounding Peter’s ass hard enough to jostle his whole body. Peter mewls, fumbling as he jerks himself off, still gripping his panties in a vice-grip, and the mere sight of him nearly tips Tony over the edge.

“So— fucking— filthy—” he gasps, bending over to press as flush as he can against Peter, skin on skin, damp with sweat. He mouths at his neck and shoulders, trying to take every inch of Peter that he can.

“P-Plea— O-Oh, god, fuck, fuck—” Peter whimpers, and the sound goes straight to Tony’s cock.

Tony hisses, “Fuck, ‘m gonna—” before he interrupts himself with a loud groan that rips from his throat, raw and heavy. He lets his hips slow as he rides through the wave of ecstasy that crashes over him, only pulling out once he gets too sensitive.

Peter’s a mewling, sweaty mess over his desk, fingers scrabbling to grip something, anything. Tony slides a hand through his damp hair to pull his head back and places a hand over Peter’s, which is still working feebly over his own cock, and he says roughly, “Lemme help, kid, can’t even do it yourself, can you? Too dumb to even think, shouldn’t have expected so much from you.”

Peter keens at the words, and Tony’s pretty sure he’s drooling on his desk. Tony lets his strokes quicken, the lacy fabric of the panties sliding wetly over the head of his dick, and Peter lets out a breathy moan. “I— I— P-Please—”

“No one’s stopping you, baby, c’mon, lemme see it.” Tony leans in and licks a wet, broad stripe between his cheeks, tasting himself mingled with the taste of Peter, and then Peter’s coming with a loud wail.

He shoots strings of white over their hands and his panties, now completely ruined and sloppy, and he gives up—gives in—entirely to let Tony jack him off through it, coaxing whines and whimpers out of him.

“F-Fuck,” he gasps after a few moments, squirming to get free, and Tony cracks a hand down, keeping him there until he’s begging incoherently, blathering for Tony to fuckstoppleasekeepgoing oh god—

Tony falls back onto the floor, completely exhausted as the weight of what they just did slaps him in the face, and Peter follows suit, collapsing on top of him.

They’re quiet for a few minutes, the sound of their breaths coming in rough gasps. Erratic exhales fill up the space between them, and Tony closes his eyes as Peter turns his head the slightest bit. He starts kissing his way up Tony’s body, from his knee to his hip to his chest and his neck.

When it slows to a stop, Tony lets his head fall to the side and is shocked to find Peter’s eyes damp and glossy. “Baby,” he whispers, feeling himself go cold. He’s only ever seen Peter cry once before. “What’s wrong?”

Peter’s eyes fall shut and he shakes his head. The silence stretches out longer and Tony’s fully convinced that he’s lost his voice when Peter finally speaks. “Stay,” he croaks. He reaches out and finds Tony’s hand, then grips it tightly. “Don’t leave me.”

Not again, are the unspoken words, and Tony knows it.

Tony looks down at him to meet his shiny brown eyes, full of longing and sadness and hatred and anger and happiness and resignation. He reaches out, placing a hand on Peter’s cheek, and Peter shudders and presses into the touch.

“Baby,” he breathes. His mind feels like it’s gone blank, save for the thought of Fury, and Toomes, and S.H.I.E.L.D. He’s an agent. He’s not part of… this, anymore. He can’t be.

A tear trails down Peter’s cheek, dripping onto the crook of his finger, and Peter turns his head to smudge it. But before he can, Tony pulls back, then grips his face with both hands to pull him into a kiss. It’s a clumsy one, full of wet gasps and pained noises, before Peter kisses back, pressing closer and closer until he’s toppled over Tony.

Tony keeps his eyes closed, even when Peter pulls back, lips ghosting over his. Peter falls onto his chest, mouthing desperately at his neck, fingers lacing through his own to squeeze tightly. Tony can feel his wet cheeks pressing against his jaw.

Peter finally pulls away, and Tony opens his eyes. “Stay,” Peter whispers again, and Tony swallows over the lump in his throat. He looks down at his hand, uncurling his fingers, and sees a familiar golden ring resting in his palm. His breath catches in his throat, and he squeezes his hand into a fist tightly, feeling the gold warm up at his touch.

And then he knows he’s made his decision—or maybe there was only ever one right answer.

“Okay,” he says, and Peter falls back onto him, a silent sob wracking his body.

Tony wraps his arms around him, holding him tightly, never wanting to let go—and he doesn’t.

The feeling of holding so Peter closely is accompanied by the decision that he’s going to grow a pair of fucking wings, if only to take both him and Peter elsewhere, away from any place that isn’t just for them.

He should have known he would end up back here. He was always going to end up back home.

-- -- --

“You passed with flying colours, Stark.” Fury doesn’t even look up as he addresses him. He’s too busy making his coffee. Tony thinks he goes out of his way to never look anyone in the eye. “Makes me wonder where you learned all these skills. It’s not every day we get an applicant like you.”

Tony doesn’t say anything. Just lifts his chin.

Fury’s eye flicks up then. It’s just the slightest bit unnerving. It feels like he can see right through him, see everything that he’s been through, see where he’s come from, see the dirt and blood that remains underneath his fingernails no matter how much he scrubs them under the faucet. He wonders if the bitter smell of leather is still stuck to him, coiling through his hair to settle down like a snake in a nest. He wonders if it’ll ever leave him, wonders how many baths and showers it’ll take for him to rub himself raw, clean.

“It’s not an easy task to commit to S.H.I.E.L.D.” Fury takes a sip of his coffee and saunters closer. Tony doesn’t move. “You leave everything behind and give it all to us. S.H.I.E.L.D. can give you what you want, but in return, we demand loyalty.” He’s standing right in front of Tony now. They stay like that for a few moments, before Fury asks softly, “Are you a loyal man, Stark?”

Tony lifts his chin. “Yes.” His voice doesn’t shake, and he holds Fury’s gaze. His fingers curl into fists, and he waits with bated breath.

Finally, Fury holds a hand out, and says, “Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D, agent.”

Tony takes it, grips it tightly, and gives a jerky nod to seal his fate. “Thank you, sir.”

He’s home, and he’s never going back.

Tag list: @sinditia @darker-soft-starker @starkeristheendgame @thegreenmetblue @momodashii @peterrparrkerr @tnpt @blazingparker @carelessannie

[killiansprincss]

Invisible - CS Neverland New Year

Hello all! This is my newest work, for @neverlandnewyear 2022! an event I’m very excited to be apart of!

This is based off Taylor Swift’s song ‘Invisible’ off her heavily underrated debut album I encourage you to listen to it as it is perfect for Killian’s inner thoughts and feelings in Neverland which is exactly what this fic is about! I hope you enjoy it as much as I have creating it 💚💚

AO3

~~~

And I just wanna show you

(S)he don't even know you

(S)he's never gonna love you like I want to

And you just see right through me but if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful, miracle, unbelievable

Instead of just invisible.

Set just before Emma sees Pan in 3x02, slight divergence

“We have to rest, if we don’t we stand no chance of getting Henry back.”

Emma reluctantly agrees. Hook tells her he will take the first watch, and will wake them at any sign of danger.  

“I’ll keep watch too.” Emma tells him, to which he gives her a smirk. “I knew you liked me, Swan.”

“I'm not staying up because of you Hook, don’t get any ideas.” She scoffs, and he throws her another wink.

They sit on a log together, closely but not too close. Emma is stubborn, she’s only thinking of Henry, so they sit in silence watching the entrance to the clearing, making sure nothing was coming to ambush them while they sleep.

He offers her his flask as he can’t stand the silence between them. “You can’t stay awake all night, rum will help when you do decide to sleep.”

“I’m fine.” She snaps. “I’m used to this, stake outs, staying awake all night looking for bad guys.” He doesn't blame her for snapping, she’s a worried mother and they were here to save her son after all.

“Of course. You're a bail bonds person thing.” He remembers her saying something about it in Storybrooke, catching bad guys. He listens.

“I’m worried about Henry.” She finally says.

Killian just nods, “you’ll find him, heroes always win don’t they?”

He swears he can see the hint of a smile on her mouth.

Then the sounds of Neverland fill his ears, something he had grown accustomed to in his many years here, and a reason he liked nights anywhere else.

Emma suddenly unsheaths her sword, “Do you hear that?”

He looks at her for a moment, questioning what she heard. “You can hear it too?”

“I’m not fucking deaf Hook.”

He cringes, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just. It’s the cries of the Lost Boys.”

“So why wouldn’t I be able to hear it?” She looks around at the others sleeping peacefully, “why can’t they hear it?”

Taking a swing of Rum, he tells her “Lost Boys cry out to Lost Boys, or Lost Girls in your case.”

“I’m not a Lost Girl.”  She says it so quickly, as if she’s trying to prove a point. If she could hear the cries, then he would beg to differ.

He gives her a look that suggests otherwise, but she rolls her eyes at him and turns the other way, clearly trying to drown out the cries. “I have Henry, and my Parents.”

“If you say so.” He knows better and doesn't say anything else, not wanting to cause a fight, so he turns in for the Night.

3x04

She was hurting inside, she loved Baelfire, or Neal rather. He didn’t want to pry, he didn’t want to make things worse by telling Emma stories of him, especially when they were in his home on the Island. He didn’t interact much with Bae after he gave him over to Pan, it mostly consisted of him telling him he never wanted to see him again.

“He was courageous, that's for sure.” He tells her, “And Brave. Whatever he used to get off this Island, he wanted to make sure Pan didn’t know.”

“Okay then we need to keep looking.” Emma says rifling through a box under a table trying to find something useful.

KIllian silently sighs. He was trying to do something nice, tell her good things about the man she loved. But she just nods her head or ignores him. He knows best not to flirt right now, it would be foolish, but she still sees him as a worthless Pirate.

Because maybe that’s all he really is.

____

When she finds the candle and they uncover the map, again she brushes him off. He wanted to tell her how he taught Baelfire to make it, all the tricks and how they bonded over it, but he quickly decided against it. He sees the look in her parents eyes when he says he is unable to read it, they deem him worthless.

What more can he do to make these people trust him? Asking Charming to like him is a stretch, but Emma seems to trust him. Well at times. She may trust him slightly more than her parents, but she won’t allow him to get close, even when his intent is innocent.

3x05

“Swan.” He catches her just before they exit the cave. He knows exactly how she felt, the scribbles of days on the Island were not something that was exclusive to Baelfire. And he knew about the giving up, he saw the look in her eyes when her mother had eagerly hoped the counting stopped once he got off the Island. The counting never lasted very long.

“What? We’re wasting time?” She asks, she’s eager to get going and slightly annoyed he’s delaying her, but he wanted to tell her she wasn’t alone or the only one who ever felt the way she did.

“I just wanted to let you know. That I, too, know what it feels like to lose hope.” After everyone he loved died, he didn’t have much hope left, there was no point in having hope, it brought nothing but wasted years and endless torment.

Not that he expected her to sit down and listen to his life story, but he didn’t expect her to just shut him down completely. “I know what this is, you, you know, trying to bond with me. So save your breath I’m not in the mood.” and she walks away.

He sighs as he reaches for his flash. Of course. No matter what he tried, he couldn’t get through to her, all he wanted her to know was she wasn’t alone. But she only thinks he’s doing it to win points or something.

“Let me give you a bit of advice, Hook.” The Prince says as he goes to follow Emma. “She's never gonna like you.”

Of course her father would say that, doesn’t want a Pirate corrupting his princess daughter. “Is that so?” He challenges.

“How could she? You’re nothing but a Pirate.” He sneers as he walks off.

Damn right he was a Pirate. But he was a Pirate that had told them about Pan and stopped anyone else getting nicked with Dreamshade. He was going to get them off this blasted Island. Taking another swing of Rum he follows the Prince out.

_______

“Perhaps you’re the one that couldn’t handle it.” It’s a tease, there’s rum involved, he expected her to turn him down completely, or make a flirty comment then go back to her Parents.

But she doesn’t. She does the last thing he ever expected her to do. She grabs him by the lapels, pulling him close and kisses him. But it’s not a quick kiss where she pulls away, she’s been wanting this for as long as he has. It feels like time stopped, he moves his free hand into her hair, wanting the kiss never to end. But after a while, she pulls away for good, turning away quickly and mumbling something about getting firewood. She didn’t want him to see her face, flushed and red, as he was.

“As you wish.” He simply says, and he swears he can see her pause for a fraction of a second, contemplating whether to turn back. But she doesn’t.

Killian just stands there, touching his lips, still feeling her lips after they had  gone. He knew he fancied her, she was gorgeous and strong and feisty, nothing like he had ever seen before. But actually kissing her, having her that close and intimate was something else entirely. He felt warm inside, and he wanted to know everything there was to know about Emma Swan. Of course he wanted her lips back on his lips, and in other places too. But it was more than that, he wanted to spend every moment with her, getting to know all there was about her.

3x06

Neal was alive. Emma’s former lover, the man she watched die and the man she had been grieving over. This man was still Bae, so part of Killian was relieved he was alive, but he couldn’t help feeling angry. Emma had kissed him, he felt maybe there was a chance, but that chance had been squashed by the cruel fates.

The Echo Caves. A place where one secret will destroy you, only a few of his crew had survived, but it was not the same after they returned. The secrets you reveal change you, they change perspectives. One of his men revealed a secret so dark he ended up drowning himself rather than live with other people knowing it. Thankfully he himself had never been inside, but that did not make him any less fearful.

“I kissed Emma.” He reveals, slightly afraid of how the Prince may react. He doesn’t even look at Emma to see how she reacts, he knew it had to mean something to her too, but her mind was more likely with the man in the cage just 50 feet away.

“I already told Mary Margaret, so technically it’s not a secret.”

“It's what the kiss exposed.” He admits after a pause, wondering how deep he had to go. “I never thought I’d be capable of moving on after My Milah, to believe I could find somebody else. That is until I met you.”

And there it was. The secret he had been too afraid to admit to even himself. He knew even before kissing Emma, that she was special to him. What was in that damned kiss, it was as though he had a vision of his future, or what it could be, just the two of them alone and in this vision Killian felt happier than he had ever been in his 300 year life.

But the man she really loved was trapped in a cage and he felt as though he had no chance. He doesn’t hear what she says to him, they’re too far away, and he does not wish to hear what her secret was either, it was not exactly going to be Emma saying she had feelings for a Pirate, it was probably somewhere closer to wanting to build a life together with Henry once they were back in Storybrooke.

Despite him being back, and also fighting for Emma’s heart, Killian knew she was still hurt by the man who abandoned her and left her alone for all those years. He knew that part of Emma still had doubts. He also knew that their kiss didn’t mean nothing to her, while it may have not exposed her, as much as it did to him, he was going to fight for her, and for the first time in almost 300 years, he had Hope.

3x07

Dark Hollow. Another place where Killian had lost crewmen. But it was to save Emma’s boy, what they were here for. He wanted to be a hero for once. Prove to Emma he did care about saving her boy, and trying to be good.

“You chose your friend?” Why was she so surprised, had this trip not proven he was not the selfish Pirate she had climbed the beanstalk with?

“Does that surprise you?”

“You are a Pirate.” Why was that such a bad thing? Being a Pirate was part of who he was, if she knew why he became a Pirate, she might understand it, but she just saw him as someone who wanted revenge rather than a boy that was once lost and found somewhat of a home in his ship.

“Yeah that I am. But I also believe in good form.” He takes a couple of steps closer to her, closing the gap ever so slightly. “So when I win your heart, Emma. And I will win it, it will not be because of any trickey, it will be because you want me.”

She fights slightly, ignoring the way he was so confident that she would choose him in the end, by saying they were here for Henry. But, he has yet to see her fail, she is strong and stubborn and is willing to fight hard to win. He swears in the milliseconds before Bae interrupts their moment, her eyes had the same glint in them right before she kissed him. He wasn’t giving up, he wanted to prove to Emma he wasn’t just a thieving Pirate, he wanted her to give him a chance, to realise that they aren't that different.

___

He fucks it up when they’re fighting over the lighter. He doesn’t even know why he let himself get into a fight over it, it wasn’t like Emma would be more impressed by the one who managed to light it, none of that mattered to her.

‘HOOK!” She screams his name as the shadow grips him to the tree. It was a stupid thing to feel excited about considering he could easily die, but he doesn’t hear her scream Bae’s name.

One moment a shadow is ripping his from his body, screaming in pain but yelling for Emma to escape while she still can, and the next moment he falls to the ground, shadow still intact. He was alive. Emma was his saviour indeed.

Magic, she’d used her magic to light the candle. He can’t help but smile, she did it, she bloody well did it. But he sees the look on Neals face when he realises she used magic. He hates magic after growing up with his father as the Dark One, he understands why, but magic is a part of Emma. She wouldn’t be Emma without it.

“You did it Swan. You’re bloody brilliant.” He tells her this, not just so Neal knows he isn’t afraid of her, but also so Emma knows how amazing she is. She should embrace her power, he knows she would only ever use it for good anyway.

“I couldn’t let you die.” She tells him, catching her breath in fear, “I couldn’t let either of you die.” She quickly adds. He can’t help but smile, she did care about him.

3x08 while Emma and the Others are off rescuing Henry

“I can’t believe you’re helping the heroes. What happened to the Pirate I knew all those years ago?” Tink teases, they had been through a lot in Neverland together, both trying to keep out of Pan's mischievous ways.

‘I have my reasons.” Is all he tells her. Killian was never one for revealing too much at once, no matter what Tink was to him, or once was.

“I think I know what it’s about, or rather who, it's about.” Tink had her ways of being sleuthy, quiet but picking up on everything she sees and hears.

“The Boy. Henry. That's why I’m here, nothing else.” Again, it was a simple statement, not revealing too much. He couldn’t admit the truth to Tink, what would he do with the information.

“Ah, just about the boy. Not about his mother who you haven’t been able to stop looking at or thinking about since who knows how long?” Tink had noticed how whenever Emma wasn’t looking, Hook would follow her gaze, watching her every movement. Not in a stalkerish way though, he was watching her to see what she did and figure out what she was thinking about, if she were thinking of him and if she would ever follow his gaze.

Hook hadn’t noticed, but Tink did, Emma watched him as much as he did her. When he was talking to someone, or looking at a map or their surroundings, she watched him, followed his gaze and tried to see what he was thinking about. As a fairy, Tink had heightened senses and she could hear peoples heartbeats and footsteps more than the average human, meaning when Emma or Hook got up and walked around, the other person's heart started beating a little harder.

“What do you want me to say Tink? That I’m falling in love with Emma and it's killing me inside because she doesn’t feel the same way? Or that I am desperately trying to make her notice me, or talk to me.” It was all coming out, all the things he had kept bottled inside since his arrival here. “I see the way she looks at her family, she’s happy to have them, but there’s still the look of an orphan, something I understand better than anyone and yet she doesn’t care, she only thinks I’m there to flirt when in actual fact I am the only person who really gets her. And I know I was a dick in the past to them, but I want to get off this blasted island as much as they do.”

And there it was. Killians feelings from being in Neverland. It didn’t help that he was falling in love again in the place he escaped to when he lost his love.

“I knew Bae as a kid, he was always a good kid, I liked him and I helped him hide from Pan.” Killian didn’t know why Tink was saying this, he knew he was a good kid-that didn’t make him feel better about Emma having strong feelings for him. “But you say he grew up and left the girl he supposedly loves?”

Killian just nods, unsure of where this conversation was leading.

“Humans tend to repeat their patterns, you know. Like Regina, I gave her chances to be good, and she chose evil, every time she chose the same thing. You say that Bae left her once? Well situations like that will continue to happen.”

“I have never left her.” He tells Tink, wanting her to know he was different from the coward who ran.

Tink just smiles at him. “I know. I have a good feeling about the two of you.”

____

Killian didn’t believe the fairy. Not at first, he didn’t exactly trust fate. That was until he had Emma in his arms, and he knew this was the vision he had back in Neverland, the one he had when he kissed Emma for the first time. Fate was a funny thing, but he was happy at last. The hole in his heart that had grown since Liam and Milah had died was slowly healing the more time he spent with Emma. 300 years of pain and suffering was worth it if he got to spend the rest of however long he had left with the beautiful blonde that had changed him. He was no longer invisible, when he was with Emma, all he felt was home.

[therenlover]

In Sickness And In Health (An 18+ James Patrick March/Reader Oneshot)

This is 18+ content! If you are a minor, this work is not for you !!!

This fic is a sequel to my oneshot Heartsick, but it can be read as a standalone oneshot!

Synopsis: Normally people don’t have their wedding and funeral on the same day, but you and James don’t quite have a normal relationship, do you? Besides, you wouldn’t wanna go any other way.

Tags: Smut with Plot, Weddings, Fluff, Ghost Smut, Cunnilingus, Sick!Reader, Obnoxious Titanic Knowledge

Rating: E, 18+

Warnings: Swearing, Major Character Death, Romanticization of Death, Murder, Unsafe Sex (it’s with a ghost, but just to be safe...), Mentions Of The Reader Having A Long Term Debilitating Illness

Word Count: 5500~

This fic has been crossposted to my AO3 under the same title

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“How are you feeling, my darling?”

James’s voice was soft as he entered your suite, slipping off his shoes before joining you on the bed. He smelled like antiseptic, hair and hands still damp from a recent wash. Underneath, though, was the sharp, coppery tang of blood.

You stretched as you answered, weak muscles shuddering with effort. “It’s a good day. Not great, I still feel like absolute shit, but I don’t feel like I’m actively dying anymore,”

“Well, that’s certainly an improvement,”

Your fiancé offered you a rare, genuine grin. Seeing him smile made the lie worth it.

In truth, you still felt truly terrible.

It had been almost three weeks since Mr. March had proposed, and true to his word he had been glued to your side helping you recover ever since. He helped you bathe, fed you meals, gave you medication, kept you entertained; days with him were filled with small, simple pleasures. You had never experienced anything like that attention before. Unfortunately, though, the time spent with James only seemed to help your mind, and not your body.

After close to two months of bed rest, your muscles were weak. It still took significant effort to do simple tasks like walking to the bathroom or using cutlery. Some days were better than others, but everything generally tended to end up as part of the indistinguishable haze of pain that clouded your memories lately. If nothing else, at least the fevers were less extreme.

The only light at the end of the tunnel was your wedding. It was still two weeks away, (“That’s plenty of time for you to recover fully, my dearest,” James had insisted) but once you were married that meant you could die. Oh, what a happy day that would be. There would be no more sickness, no more achy muscles, not another day of forced bed rest, just peace and quiet and plenty of sex. God, how you missed the sex…

Every day was another day closer to your peaceful end, and yet they seemed to stretch endlessly. Deep down, you worried that you might not even make it long enough to walk down the aisle alive. You shuddered at the thought. If James ended up having to carry you down the aisle you might just die of embarrassment before he had the chance to kill you.

“I can’t believe you killed someone without me,” You huffed, reaching out your shaking arms and inviting James to lay with you. He happily obliged.

“Would you have preferred me to let him live?” James pulled your torso gently onto his chest, letting you rest against him.

“No, but you could have at least let me watch. I’ve been stuck in here for weeks, James. I get bored,”

He ran a hand through your hair. “Perhaps next time darling, but hopefully, you will be well enough to join me before our next victim walks through the door,”

“Who was it this time?”

“A florist. Liz invited him to bring over a few samples before hiring him to do arrangements for the wedding, but they were atrocious. You should have seen them, my love, they were simply grotesque, not to mention that the color schemes didn’t even slightly match the carpets in the entrance hall. Who puts pink and yellow tulips in a wedding arrangement at a hall filled with reds and oranges?”

You gave a soft hum. “Were they all really that bad?”

“Well… perhaps I was a bit harsh, but can you truly blame me? I want our wedding day to be perfect. There shouldn’t be a single flower or ribbon out of place,” He emphasized his question by gently squeezing you to his chest.

“Is it really that important?”

James went still. “What do you mean by that, dearest?”

A sigh pushed through your lips, your chest aching from the effort. “I just don’t understand why we have to wait for this perfect wedding when we could just get married now. I’m not saying I wouldn’t enjoy a big ceremony, I’m sure it would be wonderful, but I’m just so tired James. Why does it matter if we say our vows in front of other people? There’s not gonna be anything legally or religiously binding between us anyway. Getting married to you, in my mind, is just promising to be by your side forever, so why does anything else matter besides you and me?”

Looking up, you noticed that Mr. March seemed to be deep in thought, lips pressed into a line as his thin eyebrows furrowed together. Your heart sank. Did a wedding ceremony really mean that much to him? In an instant guilt began to flood your stomach. You were really ruining a special moment in his life to die faster? Hell, did he even really want you to die? He had always relished in your warmth, enthralled by the thudding of your weak, living heart. Of course, he would hate you for rushing into marriage just to throw your life away. Or maybe he was stalling because it would be too much for him to kill you himself…

“James-” you placated, lifting a hand to his face, but he quickly snapped out of his thoughtful haze.

He gazed down at you with love in his eyes and a wicked grin on his lips. “You’re right! We shall be married this afternoon!”

A jolt of shock ran down your spine.

“What?”

“As you said, our wedding is a binding of souls, my darling! Our love is sacred, withstanding time and mortality, so who are we to bend to the rules of the common man? If an intimate ceremony for two is what you desire, I shall not deny you,” In one smooth motion, James rolled on top of you, arms boxing you in as he loomed above. He looked absolutely unhinged, eyes glinting wildly in the yellow lamplight.

You knew then that there would never be anyone else. No one could compare to James, your James. He would devour you whole and you would thank him all the while. With a sudden burst of energy, you reached up and pulled him into a scorching kiss.

It was sloppy, all battling tongues and clashing teeth, nothing like the soft pressing of lips that you had been sharing lately. How had you gone almost two months without this? Your heart felt like it was about to burst right out of your chest. As James bit down hard on your lower lip, you pulled fistfuls of his pinstripe suit into your hands.

After a few more seconds of desperate, breathless kissing James pulled away. You panted for air below him. “Why’d you stop?”

To your dismay, he climbed off of you. His hard-on was fully visible through his thin dress pants as he stood. “As much as I would love to ravage you now, dearest, I believe we have vows to exchange,”

“Can’t we just do them in bed? I want you now,”

He chuckled at your whining. “I may be willing to compromise on many things, but this is not one of them,”

“Please, Mr. March,” Your words were loaded, innocent doe eyes boring into his very soul, “for me?”

You could tell it was a difficult decision, but James stood strong. “I can’t say you haven’t thoroughly tempted me, but I’m afraid not darling,” he said firmly, “Forgive me?”

With a sigh, you nodded. “Of course,”

The instant you gave in, he beamed. “Splendid! Now, it’s a shame that we don’t have your dress, but I believe I have given you several gowns that would serve nicely,”

“You’re not gonna let me get married in my pajamas?”

“Would you prefer that to wearing a dress?”

The genuine concern in James’ voice was enough to make you fold. The things his voice did to you….

“Darling,” you groaned, fighting your weak muscles as you pulled yourself to the edge of the bed, “look in the closet. There should be a black zip-up garment bag in there,”

He quirked up an eyebrow.

“Just do it,”

“As my bride commands,” James rushed to the closet, thumbing through gowns. By the time he found it you were on your feet, leaning on a nearby wall for support. “This one, darling?” he asked, pulling it from the rack.

You grinned. “That’s the one. Open it up for me?”

James undid the zip quickly. Once he saw the contents, he gaped. “You know it’s bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding,”

Slowly, you made your way to James and hugged him from behind. “Well, it’s a good thing the wedding is happening now... can you help me get the dress on?”

He happily obliged.

In less than 15 minutes you were laced into your wedding dress and sitting at your vanity. James was by the phonograph looking at records while you finished pinning up your hair. It was finally time.

“What would you like me to play, darling? We don’t have the wedding march, but there are some decent options. Let’s see… The Swan? You always have loved Saint-Saëns. Or perhaps Songe d’Automne?” James asked. He had been strangely lenient; bending to your will on the wedding, letting you pick the music, allowing you to tease him with no repercussions. You shrugged it off.

“You would really play the song that played as the Titanic sank at our wedding?”

“I find it strangely fitting,”

With a soft laugh, you put the last pin in place and turned to your groom. “And so it is. I’ll compromise. We have Mon Coeur S’Ouvre A Ta Voix, don’t we? You’ll get your morbidity while I get my romance,”

“That sounds delightful, my dear. Good choice,”

James found the correct record and set it on the phonograph, placing the needle and cranking the arm with a well-practiced hand. Then, as the music began to play, he stood. It was like he was devouring you with his eyes, drinking in every detail of you as he approached. He offered you his hands. “Shall we begin, my darling?”

You joined him in the center of the room without hesitation, taking his offering with a smile, “I think we shall,”

“I admit,” James said, voice sweet and low, “that I am well out of my depth here, but before we begin may I say that you, as you are now, are more beautiful than I’ve ever seen you?”

Your face flushed. “What’s gotten into you, James? Are you getting soft on me?”

“We can only hope not, I have a reputation to uphold you know! I just can’t help but think…” his sentence drifted off as his gaze fell on yours, “I am a hard man, one of custom and habit. My life has been filled with monotony for as long as I have lived. Even killing has become commonplace for me. Things do not phase me the same way they phase you, darling, in all of your softness and perfection. I wonder if this is what will truly make you happy,”

“James!” you dropped his hands in order to cup his face, “I love you. I want to be with you. What would make you think I’m unhappy here?”

He covered your small fingers with his own, voice wistful. “I love you too, Y/N. Don’t misunderstand me, this wedding brings me more joy than you know. I simply wish to say that you will only get married once and I want it to be exactly to your liking. I have been engaged thrice and married once before, all of the pomp and circumstance is old news to me. For you, though, in all your youth…”

In a rare moment of openness, James bared himself to you. It was only right for you to do the same.

“I have never been more sure of myself than in this moment,” you whispered, leaning to let your forehead rest against his, “You are enough. I don’t need guests, or flower arrangements, or a cake to know I love you and I want to spend the rest of eternity at your side. You’re right, I’m young and I’ve made a lot of dumb choices in my life, but loving you isn’t one of them. Take me, James, make me yours. This is where I belong”

As you spoke, you felt him relax against you.

“Well, you’ve certainly convinced me,” he murmured before pulling back and bringing your hands to his still, unbeating heart, “now, on with the show… my queen, the woman who has tamed my heart, you are the only one of your kind. No one else could move me the way you do. The moment I saw you walk into my hotel I knew that you would be mine, but I had no clue of the things you would do to my heart. You have changed me, mind, body, and soul. I can only hope that I’ve changed you in similar ways,”

While he was speaking, it suddenly hit you that this was it. Usually, brides had months of build-up to their weddings, filled with cake tastings and dress fittings and family and friends. You, though, had had only a few weeks to prepare, most of which were spent on strict bedrest while James took care of the planning. Even then, you had disregarded the plans. Tears of joy began to roll down your cheeks. Nothing had ever felt so right in your whole life.

“Oh darling, don’t cry,” he cooed, wiping your tears away with the pad of his thumb.

“I’m just so happy!”

“And you shall continue to be happy. As long as you remain by my side, you will want for nothing! I shall be with you in sickness and in health, through life and through death,” Suddenly, his voice lowered to almost a whisper. “You, Y/N, have captivated me. I wish to never be without you again,”

“You never will be,”

James smiled, squeezing your hands. In an instant, you realized it was your turn. You hadn’t given much thought as to what you would say, but as you gazed into his dark, hopeful, hungry eyes the words came to you as clear as day.

“James Patrick March,” you said, “I have never met anyone quite like you. When I first saw you, I had nothing. I was destitute. The Hotel Cortez was my last hope in life, but then, I spoke to you in the Blue Parrot Lounge and I suddenly knew exactly what my purpose in life was. Somehow, someway, I realized that I had been made to find you. You’ve given me so much, James. You showed me that life was worth living. I can’t think of a future for me that doesn’t include you. From this moment on, once I’m finally Mrs. March, we can finally be what we were made to be… one heart, one mind, one soul. I’ll never let you go. Marry me, James? Stay here with me until the world ceases to turn?”

“I will, darling. I do,” while he spoke, he reached into his pocket. “I had hoped that this ring would be sitting on your finger sooner. It belongs to the woman of the house, the holder of my heart… you, my dearest Mrs. March. Please say you love me, and that you’ll stay with me until nothing of this world remains?

You responded with a grin. “I love you, James… I do,”

Slowly, he slid the ring onto your finger. It was the first time you’d actually seen it up close, and it was more stunning than you remembered. A large, square-cut diamond sat on a bed of smaller rubies, and it was all held together by a delicate silver band that fit your finger perfectly. The red stones were a new addition. Had James had the ring altered just for you? You were about to ask when you caught his gaze.

“May I kiss the bride now, my darling?”

Instead of responding, you surged up and kissed him yourself. It was like none of the kisses you had ever shared before.

There was a passion to it, but it wasn’t desperate. It was more of a low, roiling thing, a time-bomb ticking down to explode. In seconds James’ cool hand had found its way into your hair, pulling you closer and messing up the pinned curls you had put in earlier. You found you didn’t quite care.

Your limbs were beginning to feel weak as you ran out of air, and you couldn’t tell if it was because of your long-forgotten illness or if it was just the power James held over you. Part of you didn’t care anymore. As you pulled back for air, your husband reached around to the lacing at the back of your dress and began to pull at it, earning a few giggles as he loosened it enough that it fell from your body, leaving you almost bare in front of him.

“How I’ve craved you, my lovely wife,” he growled, palming your breasts through your bra, “it’s been far too long,”

His touch felt electric against your thin, soft skin. “Please, Mr. March, more,” You pressed yourself against your husband, feeling how your words affected him. He was rock hard. Something about that satisfied an ache in your heart. Even with you sick and weak, he needed you as much as you needed him.

In a swift movement, he scooped you up and carried you to the bed, setting you down gently before settling himself between your legs. You whimpered as he sucked a deep bruise into your neck. He was an expert with his tongue, licking and sucking the skin like a man starved. It felt delightful, but you couldn’t help but think about how it would feel elsewhere.

As if he could read your mind, James grinned.

“All in good time, you little minx,”

Ever impatient, you fisted a hand into his hair in an attempt to get him to move lower. He stayed put.

“Does my lovely wife want something from me?”

You groaned as he wrapped his teeth around your bra strap and tugged before letting go, the elastic snapping against your already sweat-slick skin. “James, please,”

“Ah, ah, ah! Use your words, dearest. What do you want?”

His tutting made you flush from your cheeks to your chest. There was only one way to get what you wanted, and you knew exactly how to do it. With as much innocence as you could muster in your debauched state, you whispered, “Please sir, will you eat my pussy?”

James couldn’t hold back as he snapped his hips against the sheets. “That’s it darling! How could I say no to such a polite request?”

You released a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. In a blink, your husband was undoing your bra and pulling it off, working his sinful mouth down to your breasts. His teeth grazed your nipple, drawing a high-pitched whine from your throat as your back arched, pushing you up towards his touch. It was like your body was a live wire. Every nerve was alive, buzzing at the slightest touch. Still, it wasn’t enough.

Thankfully, he was quick to move once again. He left a trail of gentle, sloppy kisses down your ribs and stomach before arriving at his desired destination. His hot breath against your soaked panties fanned the flames of arousal building within you. Once again, you whined.

Your husband had always loved eating you out. He never seemed happier than when he was buried between your thighs with his tongue buried between your folds, and once again he was faced with his favorite activity. The hungry look in his eye told you that he wanted it as much as you did.

“It’s a shame I didn’t get to remove your garter in front of the hotel. I would have so enjoyed showing them all just how lucky of a man I am. Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise though… I do hate to share” he murmured, pressing a few torturous kisses to the hot skin of your inner thighs as he skimmed your panties with his fingers, “I suppose these will have to do,” Then, in a sudden movement, he was dragging them down your legs by the lace with his teeth. Once they were removed, he tossed them aside to be collected later. The way he looked at your wetness was reverent. It only made you wetter.

“What do we have here,” he muttered, letting the tip of his nose just barely brush your core, “what could possibly be making you this wet, my darling?”

His taunting was, surprisingly, less severe than usual. On any normal day, it would have taken a good 10 minutes for him to be anywhere near your heat, but you could tell he was obliging your whims as a treat. It was a special occasion, after all.

“You,” you groaned lowly as his breath ghosted over your pussy.

“That’s right, my dear heart, me,”

In an instant James had buried himself in your lower lips, suckling your clit with vigor as your hips bucked to meet him. For once, he let you chase your pleasure with reckless abandon. It had been months since your last proper orgasm, so you were extra sensitive as he licked long stripes up your slit. Soon enough you were keening as you teetered on the edge of pleasure.

“James- James, please!” you shouted as he finally worked a finger into your tight, wet hole, his tongue lazily circling your clit as he gazed into your eyes across the planes of your body.

He pulled off momentarily, making you groan. “Please what, dearest?”

“I wanna cum! Please- OH!”

His lips were back on your clit instantly, his eyes smiling as he pumped in and out of you with his fingers and sucked with reckless abandon. Every muscle in your body felt poised for action, your hands gripping James’ hair at the roots with enough force that you were surprised it was still attached to his head. You tipped over the edge into pleasure the second he curled his fingers upwards, roughly pressing into your sweet spot as he hummed, his voice vibrating against you in the most heavenly way.

Your orgasm was like a wave of pure bliss rolling over you as James pleasured you through it, milking you for everything you had. Only once you stopped convulsing did he remove his mouth. Even then, he continued to fuck you gently with his fingers. “Did that feel good, my love?” he asked, rubbing circles into your still-shaking thigh with his free hand.

“Yes, James! Your mouth is perfect,” you whimpered.

He seemed to enjoy your answer because he slowly pulled his fingers from your sensitive pussy before climbing up your body and rewarding you with a passionate kiss. You enjoyed it thoroughly but suddenly became aware that he was still fully dressed. “James,” you whined against his lips, “you’re wearing far too many clothes,”

He tasted like tobacco and absinthe as he kissed you again, guiding your hands to the buttons on his suit jacket before tugging at his cravat. “Perhaps we should remedy that, darling?”

You were quick to undo each button before ripping the jacket from his body and tossing it on the ground. His dress shirt and cravat were quick to follow. He focused on undoing his pants while you relished in his bare chest, running your hands down the firm planes of flesh. “God, you’re gorgeous,” you whispered, biting down gently on his collarbone.

“No need to call me God, dearest,” he chuckled, shoving down his pants and boxers to free his leaking cock, “though I don’t oppose to it,”

He was a big man, long and thick enough that fitting all of him in was just slightly painful but more than enough to make you feel deliciously full. You drooled as you reached between your torsos to stroke him, but surprisingly James caught your wrist before you could touch him.

“I appreciate you taking my pleasure into consideration, my love, but I won’t last long as it is,” he crooned, holding your wrist to the bed with one hand as he lined himself up against your dripping heat with the other. He ran the head of his cock against your folds a few times, gathering up your wetness in the hopes that it would ease the stretch when he finally pushed in. To you, though, it was just torture, and how James did love to torture his victims.

“Please, fuck me, Mr. March,” you groaned, “I need you! It’s been so long,”

“Such a good little minx,” his voice rolled low as he smiled down at you, “using your words just like I taught you. Perhaps you deserve a reward,” Then, as he locked his hungry eyes with yours, he pushed fully into your heat.

You cried out in ecstasy the second he filled you up, your head lolling back against the headboard as he rocked in and out, letting you ride out the initial pain as he warmed you up for the main event. It wasn’t long before the sting was gone. It was replaced with a dull ache, but that was mostly overshadowed by a sweet, building fire spreading through your abdomen again as James pounded into you with reckless abandon.

Every muscle in your body felt weak, loose and slack as your husband found that spot inside you. Each thrust was a shock through your overstimulated body. It was like you were toeing the line between pain and pleasure, always an instant from falling fully into one or the other. When James picked up his speed once again, you started to lose yourself to the pleasure.

“Mr. March!” you wailed, body jolting as he released your wrist and instead used his hand to steady your thigh and hold you wide open, “ Mr. March! Oh god, please let me cum!”

Surprisingly, despite the fact that he was dead, James seemed almost as breathless as you while he purred into your ear. “Close your eyes, Y/N. Let the pleasure take you. Cum for me, Mrs. March,”

With one last sharp stroke from James, you wailed and let your orgasm overtake you. This time, though, it wasn’t a wave. Instead, it hit you directly like a ton of bricks. The feeling was heady, a high derived from the shockwaves of pleasure mixing with the sweet pain James always provided when he lost control. Distantly, you could feel your thighs covered in your wet essence as your husband gripped them and drove himself into you ceaselessly, quickly reaching his own climax.

Maybe it was that you hadn’t been satisfied so thoroughly since before you were sick, but you felt absolutely exhausted as the last remains of your release drained from your body. Perhaps you had gone too far with the enthusiasm after being on bed rest for so long… Something deep inside you felt whole, like a piece of you that had been missing all your life had finally slotted into place. You fell into a dreamless sleep as that satisfaction resonated through your thoroughly fucked-out body.

When you woke, you almost felt disconnected from time. It was like waking up from an unexpected nap that went on longer than you had intended it to. Your eyelids felt heavy, but the familiar ache in your lungs and muscles that had been your constant companion was gone, replaced with a cool, tingling numbness. You chuckled a bit to yourself. Had sex been the answer to your problems all along?

Slowly, you rolled onto your side, stretching out your arms and legs before curling up in the sheets. Five more minutes of sleep wouldn’t hurt anybody.

Unfortunately, your plans for rest were foiled as you felt the bed dip beside you.

“How do you feel, my darling?” James asked. His voice was soft. If you didn’t know him better you would have thought he sounded frightened.

You smiled, letting your eyes flutter open as you took in his face. “Surprisingly, I feel great. I don’t think I’ve felt this good for a long time,”

James smiled back at you, his brown eyes glimmering with some distant emotion. “That’s good. I’m glad you’re starting the road to recovery,”

There was something strange about your husband, you noticed as you sat up, looking around. You definitely weren’t in your own bedroom anymore. Instead, you were tucked nicely into a four-poster bed with soft, red sheets, surrounded by dark wood and art deco accents. Distantly, you touched your chest and registered that you were wearing one of James’ shirts.

“You brought me to your room?” You propped yourself up on his headboard as you took in your new surroundings, watching the golden evening sun filter in through the gap in the heavy velvet curtains.

“Our room, my sweetling,” James corrected.

You hummed thoughtfully. “I like it. I know I’ve technically been here, with Devil’s Night and our little trysts and all, but I’ve never slept in your bed before. It’s soft… nice,”

He offered you a tinny false smile, his hands fidgeting nervously with the edge of the bedspread. “I’m glad you think so, dearest. What’s mine is now yours,”

Distantly, you smelled the faintest traces of the antiseptic soap James used to rid himself of blood. You raised an eyebrow. “How long was I out?”

“Just a few hours. I took the liberty of calling Mrs. Evers to turn down your sheets while you rested,”

“You had time for a kill in just a few hours?”

“Y/N, I-”

As he spoke, you reached out to touch his fidgeting hand only to yank your fingers back to your chest. No… this was wrong.

“Y/N, please, stay calm-”

“Why are you warm?” You asked, breathing heavily, “James? Why are you warm?”

James steadied himself with a deep breath before reaching over to rub gentle circles into your thigh above the blanket.

“I… I may have taken the liberties of… Y/N, please understand that I only did what I must. You were wasting away! And a promise is a promise…. What I’m trying to say is-”

“You killed me?”

“Precisely,”

Your husband bit down on his lip, averting his gaze in the hopes of avoiding your wrath. To his surprise, though, you threw yourself into his arms, peppering his face with kisses as you laughed joyously. You were free! Free from pain and sorrow and th e endless trappings of mortality. And James was the one to free you.

“You brilliant man!” you shouted, excited giggles escaping from your lips as you squeezed his frozen body to your own, “I didn’t even notice! Oh my god, and on our wedding night too? That’s so romantic! How did you do it? Did I have a heart attack and die from the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my whole damn life? Well… existence. I’m not quite alive anymore, am I? What did you use? Did you send me down the body chute?”

As you babbled, James slowly began to function again. You truly were his perfect match. “I slit your femoral artery just as all your muscles began to contract,” he explained, reaching up a hand to cup your cheek, “and I came to my own climax as you showered me in your blood. You didn’t feel a thing,”

You happily settled yourself against James’ chest. “You’re right. If anything, it felt kinda good…” you paused, “What about my body?”

He grinned. “You’re dead now, darling, we can revisit killing you during your little deaths at any time you like. As for your body, I didn’t put you down the chute. I cleaned you up, retrieved your ring, and took you to your casket. It’ll be bricked up in a wall within the week,”

“Aw, James, you had a casket ready for me and everything!”

“I commissioned it the day we first met. After we slept together and I led you to your suite, I went right to Liz and had her make an order. I spared no expense. Dark wood, red velvet lining…”

“Mmm,” you hummed, “It’s a shame we’ll never get to christen it… unless…”

“Darling, you cannot truly be thinking what I presume you are thinking,”

You giggled, pushing James flat onto the bed. Slowly, you leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Wanna go fuck over my dead body?”

James Patrick March had never gotten hard quicker in all his 126 years of existence.

-------

a/n: Welp! That’s the first smut I have ever written in my entire life. I hope it wasn’t terrible! This oneshot was great practice for a future instillation of Till Forever Falls Apart, so look forward to that lol. Let me know if you liked this and what types of oneshots you’d like to see next! Also, I love comments, so feel free to comment if you feel so inclined.

Please do not upload my works to other sites, thank you!

[ad1thi]

underrated stevetony fics rec list (P1)

i feel like a lot of really good stevetony fics get swept under the rug because this is such a big fandom and sometimes people miss out on quality content?? so this is a rec list of some of the stevetony fics i feel like everybody should have read/ be reading

Edit (31.12.2020): this got very long (i had almost 50 fics on my list, so ive decided to split this list into two parts. part 2 will be out soon!!)

Edit (20.02.2021): part 2 is out now!!

//

picture me in the trees: @ifmywishescametrue

Tony and Steve were childhood friends that almost became more, but Tony moved and they lost their chance. Thirteen years later, a chance meeting brings Tony back into Steve's life.

Free: @iwanttopizzamanyou

"Steve reads, and the words dance in front of his eyes, because while this used to be his dream, what he wanted, all he can think about is how this Hell will soon become his full time life."

Steve discovers fame, with fans waiting for him in the lobby and girls passing him their numbers after the shows. It used to be what he wanted, he supposes. Except his future managers keep asking more and more from him, and he's not sure his old life will survive. Tony is ready to help, and compromise, but Steve maybe isn't anymore.

making it work: @/ironarm 

“Just tell him you don’t want to see him anymore,” Clint replies, finishing the end of his burger and starting to crumple up the wrapper, “It’s not like you love him or anything.”

“Clint, if I thought I could get rid of him about a week ago, I would have. But for some fucked up reason, I can’t lie to him. It’s like, I see those baby blue eyes, and bam. Whatever barrier that I built up from childhood trauma is gone.”

Clint chokes on the last piece of his burger, almost resisting the urge to smack Tony on the side of his head.

Tony was a fucking idiot.

Boys Like Us: @naferty

The video had been a mistake. One of the biggest mistakes he had ever done in his life, and considering Tony Stark had done a bunch of shit in his younger years, and even older years, that was saying something.

It was just that none of those things were as embarrassing as that video.

He blamed Clint for everything

Stained Fingertips: @thesoundofnat

“I don’t really believe in magic,” he said, clearing his throat. “But I’m almost certain you’re a goddamn wizard, Steve Rogers.”

Steve would remember those words for the rest of his life.

(Or, Steve is maybe slightly obsessed with drawing Tony. Not that Tony minds.)

Inhale, Ex-Sail: @summerpipedream

"Rich pirates decked out in top-of-the-line black market gear,” grumbled Tony, ”why don’t I have the budget to make those again?’

Rhodey inched back so that he and Tony were back-to-back. “We’re apparently law abiding citizens now, which means having to pay taxes.”

Tony scowled. “Urg, right. Remind me why I wanted to do that again?”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “What was it you called him last time? Your sweet tart? Your apple pie in the sky? The wind beneath your wings? Hopefully he’ll fly here fast enough so we don’t get killed. Or worse, mugged.”

Tony Stark Bingo K1 - AU: Steampunk

As Constant As A Star: @atsadi

The Swan Princess AU

As young children, Prince Anthony and Princess Natasha of neighboring Midgardian kingdoms are betrothed, and spend their summers together every year until they are wed. Tony adores his headstrong friend Nat: it’s her scowly little companion Steve he’s not thrilled about at first. But soon Steve goes from being a thorn in Tony’s side to being his dearest friend – and much, much more than that. Despite Steve feeling the same way about Tony, the pair still dance around each other for years as Steve struggles to accept his feelings for another man: especially one already betrothed to another. Not to mention that Tony is a prince, and Steve is nothing but a squire.

But before they can make peace, Tony is kidnapped and dragged into the beginnings of another conflict in the nearby magical kingdom of Asgard – he really hates magic. With his potential usefulness diminishing by the day, Tony races to escape even as Steve, Natasha, and their friends race to find him and bring him home.

And—just to make matters worse—Tony has been trapped by a powerful spell and turned into a swan, of all creatures. He really, really hates magic.

Always Yours: @hollyjollyhope

Getting kidnapped is normal for them, at this point. But there's nothing normal about this.

And suddenly, Tony has a choice to make.

Oxeye Daisy (patience): @s-horne

“You make me want things I can’t have.”

Steve startled at the voice from behind him and turned around to see Tony standing in the kitchen doorway. He stared straight at Tony for a long moment. The room was quiet, time stretching out in a thick and uncomfortable silence as neither man dare to move nor opened his mouth to speak first.

White Clover (a promise): @s-horne

“Hey, sweetheart.”

Tony lifted his head as he tried to focus on Steve’s voice. When he managed to open his eyes and blink a bit of the blurriness away, he was rewarded with a gentle smile being shone down at him.

“There you are,” Steve said. “Was worried I was going to have to talk to myself.”

Though his tone was light, Tony knew what he meant. It was no secret that Tony was physically weaker and a hell of a lot more human than Steve was and was therefore struggling more with the lack of regular nourishment that came with being held hostage.

“Course not,” Tony said back, voice hoarse but plastering a smile on his face all the same. His head was pounding and his eyes couldn't stay open. “Would I ever do that to you? You’d never get a sensible answer.”

Acta non verba: @firebrands

unapologetic fluff about two idiots who can barely keep it together with how hard they're crushing on each other

or:

tony has to help steve with math + a halloween party = a good time for everyone, eventually

you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands

tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list

Adjacent, Against, Upon: @firebrands

A political AU!

Steve Rogers is running as the Mayor of somewhere, America. Tony Stark, his campaign manager, deals with a candidate who isn’t interested in lying, and just wants to do good by these citizens, god damn it.

song of unrest: @omg-just-peachy

How was Steve supposed to reconcile all of this? The way he looked so different but still felt so much the same? It made Steve’s head spin. He knows he shouldn’t care so much, that he is what he is, but he just wants to know.

Paint The Town Blue: @omg-just-peachy

Ten years since he’d seen or spoken to Tony Stark, ten years since they’d broken up to go away to school. And now this email. It could be his only chance to see Tony again.

Camelot: @weethreequarter

For one shining moment, there was Camelot.

In 2019, Karen Page meets Captain Steve Rogers to conduct an exclusive interview on his late husband, President Tony Stark.

In 2007, Steve meets Senator Tony Stark and falls in love.

he thinks he’s lancelot (but he’s more of a sir lamorak): @theotherwasdeath

Tony knows firsthand that violence isn’t funny. So why oh why does he think that the scene playing out in front of him, Steve and Victor Von Doom in a knock-out, drag-down fist fight, is absolutely hilarious?

wildflowers: @tinytonysnark

“So,” Steve begins, clapping his hands together, “the city of SHIELD is in debt. The big ups have sent for financial advisors, all the way from DC! They’re gonna take a look at the city’s spending and make some cuts.”

He squints at the camera against the morning sun shining through the courtyard, “I’m not that worried. Everyone here in the parks department is an important member of the team and absolutely needed.”

The camera swings towards the office where from the large glass window, Natasha can be seen picking up the ringing phone before immediately slamming it back down onto the receiver.

[A Parks and Rec AU]

trinkets of your affection: @starklysteve

Kissed him once for every year I loved him, Steve had written.

By that count, Steve owes him five more kisses now.

Tony traces the words, hands trembling, and tips back a shot of Howard's ancient whiskey. None of it burns anymore.

One day, he'll have lived more days without Steve than there are words in the diary.

For the first time since he'd woken with shrapnel in his chest, Tony fears the future.

----------

Or, five things Tony keeps to remember Steve by, and one thing Steve gives him to remember.

[augment-techs]

Song Lyrics Writing Prompts III:

I'd be lost if I lost you; If you ever leave//Baby you would take away everything real in my life (How Do I Live Without You, by LeAnn Rimes)

Young hunks, taking shots//Stripping down to dirty socks; Music up, gettin' hot--Kiss me//Give me all you've got! (Die Young, by Kesha)

To the ones I call my own: I'm back where I belong! // In the place where God and the Devil call home (The Steeple, by Halestorm)

All their pushing and annoying hints // I've got bruises with their fingerprints // I can do much better I am sure // They’re so immature (This is My Idea, the Swan Princess soundtrack) 

Don't you remember how we used to split a drink? // It never mattered what it was--I think our hands were just that close (Jet Pack Blues, by Fall Out Boy)

Now you only dream in peaceful blue // The morning doesn't even scare you anymore (Ashes On Your Eyes, by Deb Talan)

So take a look outside yourself // And tell me what you see (Give Me Strength, by Over the Rhine)

We went streaking in the park//Skinny dipping in the dark//Then had a ménage à trois (Last Friday Night, by Katy Perry)

You always come for me; You know just what I need//Don't make me wait for this//Save me from this darkness (I Want to Live, by Skillet)

We don't always get it right//Then lights go out, the music dies--no goodbye (Paradise, by Alan Walker)

How it feels to be the broken--You took a piece, now I'm biting back! (Back From the Dead, by Skillet)

Look around your world, pretty baby//Is it everything you hoped it'd be? (Roll to Me, by Del Amitri)

Got something new you wanna try? // It's a brownie-cupcake-fudge-berry-ice cream pie (Couldn’t Be Better, the Ugly Dolls soundtrack)

Dreading the wake, stuck in the fog//Heavy weight still there in the morning (I Got the Lonely, by Mel Parsons)

Hell sent you back here for more//'Cause ain't no one ever loved you (Leave Luanne, by Alex Brightman, Jay Armstrong Johnson, and Lindsay Mendez)

They wrapped your wrists in silver, they took your crown//They washed your blood from each finger and hand (The Ballad of Sara Berry, by Lindsay Mendez, 35MM: A Musical Exhibition)

Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from some terrible lies (Some Nights, by the fun)

A stranger to being debased; She has a new lease and limit//On the abuse she’ll tolerate (Woman Down, by Alanis Morissette)

I can't fear you, I don't hear you now//Wrapped in your regret//What a waste of blood and sweat (Could Have Been Me, by Halsey)

That's not an expression, I'm guessing, oh well//See? That's exactly what I mean! // I'm just as awkward as I seem (Ordinary, by Joriah Kwame)

I'm not angry, I'm just saying: Sometimes goodbye is a second chance (Second Chance, by Shinedown)

Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows; Lies the seed that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes the rose (The Rose, by Better Midler)

We're touching the lightning//We're coming alive (yeah)//We feel it inside (yeah) (We Got the Power, by Zayde Wolf)

He says nothing has changed // But I’m thinkin’ it must be a lie (Ranjha, english cover)

I cried myself to sleep each night//Since we were forced apart (Snow White and Rose Red, by Blackbriar)

Miles and miles in my bare feet // Still can’t lay my down to sleep (Barton Hollow, by The Civil Wars)

If I could make you stop and take a look at me, instead of just//(Walkin' by)//There's nothin' that I wouldn't do if it was gettin' you to notice//(I'm alive) (Stand Out, A Goofy Movie)

Don't know where I'm gonna land//But you gotta wobble up before you stand (Soaring, by Sydney Forest)

I didn’t see that--I only heard//But just to be sociable, I’ll take your word (When I See an Elephant Fly, the Plain White T’s cover)

Oh, things couldn't be worse//When your parents run the universe (The Campfire Song, The Lightning Thief)

I’ve got the powers, and the flowers, to KO your whole team//I got them pop-pop-poppies--night night!!--have a nice dream (Queen of Hearts vs The Wicked Witch of the West, Rap Battle)

Colour for both me and you//Kung Fu Fighting; Dancing Queen; Tribal Spaceman//And all that's in between (Colors to the World, by The Spice Girls)

"Look around you, Time should march on//I ask you to bow and make history the victor//The day of the legends is gone." (White Rose, by Heather Dale)

You said we were wolves...Once Upon a Time//But now I've evolved into--A Hunter//Why did you stay behind? (White Flag, by The Romanovs)

It's wonderful to fall, let's love and risk it all//I'd rather love just a little too much (A Little Too Much, by Natasha Bedinfield)

Call me ‘Sir’//Call me ‘Daddy’//Call Me ‘C.E.O’ (Get Hooked/Valentino’s Deal)

I'm not the same kid from your memory//Well, now I can fend for myself (Ignorance, by Paramore)

So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain//Wave goodbye to cares of the day (Hushabye Mountain, Stacey Kent cover)

Family first till the end of the road//I got shooters, I got looters, I got hoes//All around the motherfucking globe (The Root of All Evil, by Silva Hound)

You rip the heart and soul from me//Strip me of my dignity//So I lead with my claws; I lead with my teeth (A Woman’s Game, by Karliene)

The lioness is prowling//The wolves are howling//The dragon is rousing//The ice is forming; And we’re all waiting//Anticipating//Pieces are moving//Who wins? Who dies? (Winter’s Come, by Karliene)

We like out of print games; vintage skates//Got a Pacman tattoo (Two-Player Game, Be More Chill)

Can anybody see?//Is anybody waving--back at me? (Waving Through a Window, Dear Evan Hansen)

Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?//Twenty stitches in a hospital room//When you started crying, baby, I did too (Out of the Woods, by Taylor Swift)

Though it's fearful//Though it's deep, though it's dark, And though you may lose the path//Though you may encounter wolves//You can't just act--You have to listen (Into the Woods Finale)

This chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect//Give your immortality to me; I'll set you up against the stars (Wine Red, by The Hush Sound)

Today is ours, it's always been//Before we face the fight, we know who's gonna win (We Walk as Lions, by Skillet)

And it's been two years I miss my home//But there's a fire burning in my bones (Fight Song, by Rachel Platten)

At least you have something--Something to cling to//Visions of dazzling rooms, I'll never get let into (Beautiful Ghosts, by Taylor Swift)

“You see, years ago something happened up here. Something not very nice.” (Poor Thing, Sweeney Todd)

I'm so sick of pretty, I want something true, don't you? (What Else Can I Do, Encanto)

Cold skin, drag my feet on the tile; As I'm walking down the corridor//And I know we haven't talked in a while; So I'm looking for an open door (Let Me Down Slowly, by Alex Benjamin)

And that line between the beggars and the choosers; Is a line you've never let me quite ignore//How I've tried to jump that great divide//But I've never got the chances you were given (Crossing the Line, Tangled the Series)

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet//Now I've read all of the books beside your bed (Paper Rings, by Taylor Swift)

I can prove it to you ‘til you know it's true//'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too//You're talkin a lot, show me what you got//Stop--swing (I Don’t Dance, High School Musical 2)

[agentnico]

Top 10 BEST Movies 2021

*UPDATED 17/01/22 with the addition of The Tragedy of Macbeth

Let’s not kid ourselves, the pandemic has had a massive impact on many a thing, including the movie industry. Yeah, I know there’s a lot worse that COVID has caused, but this is a film blog, so naturally I’m going to complain about its impact on the movie biz. From release dates being endlessly postponed and many movies simply going straight to streaming, 2020 was quite lacklustre in terms of decent movie content, however 2021 has seen a smidge of normality returning, even though Omicron now is acting like a diva that wants to take everything down which I think is really selfish of it and not at all festive. Like, Mr Omicron (or Mrs, depending on how gender neutral you are), listen, we’ve only just had Christmas and New Year’s, and today is Russian Orthodox Christmas and soon we also have Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day around the corner, so like give us a break, okay?? Can you simply pick a different time of the year to annoy us, ideally on none of the 365 days. Cool? We’re good, alright, sorted! Anyway, here are my favourite films of 2021. As always, goes without saying, my list may vary a lot from yours and vice versa, so don’t go all Gangs of New York on me if you disagree with me. Simply give me a quiet stern disappointed look and then go about your day and we’ll act like this never ever happened. Also, there’s a few films of 2021 I haven’t had a chance to see yet, including Power of the Dog and Spencer so naturally they won’t be on this list, however who knows? Maybe all of them are crap anyway and I’m not missing out, but anyway, without much further ado, here’s my Top 10 Best Movies of 2021...

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Judas & the Black Messiah, Godzilla VS Kong, Zack Snyder’s Justice League, Belfast and The Last Duel

SPECIAL HONOURABLE MENTION: NO TIME TO DIE - The final swan song of Daniel Craig as James Bond was a long time coming. As in really a long time coming, thanks to COVID this thing got delayed endlessly. But we finally saw it and this was one hell of a shaken martini! Definitely not stirred. And thankfully Craig didn’t slit his wrists as he once promised, so all is good in the hood.

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/663954189051904000/no-time-to-die-2021-review

10) CODA - This movie puts Vin Diesel’s obsession with family to shame. For CODA is exactly that - a sweet coming of age tale about family, but against the typical tropes of the genre the central family are all deaf, which results in a unique spin on the familiar formula. Basically just like go and watch it, okay??

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/659580386869968897/coda-2021-review

9) HOUSE OF GUCCI - Cheesy one liners, epic performances, questionable Italian accents and a super interesting narrative. Featuring one hella peculiar sex scene between Lady Gaga and Adam Driver. I mean, phew! That’s all I’m gonna say! Look, that’s not the reason this movie was really good, I was simply pointing out...whatever I was pointing out. 

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/670557527220633600/house-of-gucci-2021-review

8) THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES - This animated film warns of the dangers of tech consumption yet it appears on a streaming service that’s entire business model is based upon screen addiction with their endless binge worthy content. As they say the irony is most definitely present! But with that irony also comes one great family adventure from the folks that brought you The Lego Movie and Into the Spider-Verse!

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/650251702621159424/the-mitchells-vs-the-machines-2021-review

7) SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME - So the reason this film is so much fun is because *SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER*. And that’s why it’s on the list!

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/671904849427841024/spider-man-no-way-home-2021-review

6) THE SUICIDE SQUAD - A superhero movie that simply doesn’t give a f***! The type of wham-bam-thank-you-mam batshit entertainment which exists for the pure reasons of fun. It doesn’t set out to be the best superhero film ever, nor does it need to be.

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/658401873396629504/the-suicide-squad-2021-review

5) FREE GUY - An absolute cuddly crowd-pleaser full of casual mayhem, crazy ideas and a hyper-active Ryan Reynolds, that will get Mariah Carey’s ‘Fantasy’ stuck in your head for days on end. 

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/659673760933330944/free-guy-2021-review

4) LICORICE PIZZA - Equal parts strange, sentimental and screwball, yet also absolutely 100% hilarious, this Paul Thomas Anderson directed feature is downright delightful with a capital D! Although I still have no idea why all the characters in this movie are constantly running. Like just have a break, have a Kit-Kat already!

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/672371437179486208/licorice-pizza-2021-review

3) BARB & STAR GO TO VISTA DEL MAR - I have no idea how, but somehow the fast chatting culottes-wearing couple Barb and Star made it to the 3rd highest spot on my Top 10 of the year. I’m as baffled and ashamed as you are. But also screw you, I can listen to Jamie Dornan singing ballads to seagulls on tires any day of the week! 

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/643655612925870080/barb-and-star-go-to-vista-del-mar-2021-review

2) THE ELECTRICAL LIFE OF LOUIS WAIN - Most of the movies this year I watched together with my lovely fiancée (a not so casual shout-out to the woman I love and will marry one day!!), and none of them affected us as emotionally as a film about eccentric cat paintings. It’s a movie that plays out like the first ten minutes of Up (yep, THOSE ten minutes), and at parts its funny, at parts sad, and at times strangely surrealist, The Electrical Life of Louis Wain dare I say ELECTRIFIED us!!

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/670370064751558656/the-electrical-life-of-louis-wain-2021-review

1) THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH - The Bard. Black and white. 1/2 the Coen brothers. German expressionism. Denzel Washington. Frances McDormand. Feeling like its literally filmed on stage, this minimalist take on Shakespeare’s famous play is arguably the based film adaptation of Macbeth that I’ve ever seen. My eyes were literally glued to the screen from beginning to end, from the gorgeous yet simple set pieces to the one of a kind physical act of Kathryn Hunter, who plays all three witches in a literal shapeshifting performance. Shakespeare is obviously not for everyone, but for me it’s my top film of 2021!

Original review: https://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/673372444479913984/the-tragedy-of-macbeth-2021-review

With that, 2021 has come to an end, and here’s to a happy new year that is 2022! Fingers crossed we’ll get many more great films, but also on a more serious note, I wish everyone the best of health and success, and let us hope that this new year will give us more signs of normality coming back. And as normality comes kicking in, take a chance and pop over to the local cinema with your loved ones, your friends or by yourself, as when you’re in need of some escapism from the craziness of the world out there, the magic of cinema is one of the most genuinely amazing ways to relieve your mind. That is unless you’re stuck watching a crappy flick like The Emoji Movie, however if you’re watching that then let’s face it, that is entirely your fault. In any regard though, stay safe everyone, and thank you for reading. Here’s to talking more about film in 2022!

[hopefulstarfire]

Astrarium: The Adventures Between Realms: An In-Depth Look

What is Astrarium: The Adventures Between Realms?

Astrarium is a massive, written work of online fiction created by myself and my boyfriend Jonathan, with the art department fully manned by our best friend Tai (@cowboytai) and edited/possibly narrated by our other best friend Watta (found here at his YouTube channel).

The story follows the adventures of Artemis, or Ari as she's better known, a human girl raised by Dragons. The Dragons of are the deities of the universe, with a select group delegated to the task of Watchers, whom take the role of nurturing, shaping and recording the histories of the Seven Realms found in their universe. Ari, at age 16, is able to begin her training to become a Watcher (and the first ever human Watcher), and takes the four years of her training to explore each and every Realm, making friends and enemies along the way, and discovering more of who she is and who she wants to become.

We're currently looking at publishing it on its own website sometime in 2022. What we're looking at having done before then is the prologue, first five chapters, and the first trips to every Realm. Currently, we have the prologue and chapters 1-3 finished, with chapter 4 in progress along with the first round of trips. The prologue and chapters 1-5 will be posted together on the launch of the website. We will also have a Patreon set up for it, with some varying reward tiers!

What are the Realms?

There are Seven Realms featured in Astrarium, all named after constellations. They are Hydra (The Water Serpent), Auriga (The Charioteer), Ursa (Greater Bear), Cygnus (The Swan), Orion (The Hunter), Lepus (The Hare) and Lyra (The Lyre). Each one also features its own aesthetics, cultures, and even specialized races/species of civilized life.

Hydra takes place in a very water and island based world, with an aesthetic setting of the Age of Exploration/Golden Age of Piracy. There are seven major oceans on this world, and hundreds of islands, both inhabited and uninhabited and many filled to the brims with treasures. There are also large underwater cities that are elegantly built and homes to all sorts of academic pursuits.

Auriga is a world inspired by both the Old West and the Steampunk fashion and aesthetic. They have new inventions coming out every day, fueled not just by steam power but also by magical crystals. And they thrive off of having big communities that all rely on each other.

Ursa is a very natural world filled with gorgeous forests and lovely springs. It's world is heavily inspired by high fantasy, dungeons and dragons, and a certain other old tale that'll be evident in its cast of characters. It is filled with magics of all kinds and magical creatures left and right.

The citizens of Cygnus live on floating islands, all connected to each other by tethers, and the inhabitants fly anywhere they please. The aesthetic is based in 1920s/1930s fashion and glitz and glam, with a little bit of a seedy underbelly lurking in the city...as well as interesting horrors down in the jungles below them.

The Giantesses of Orion have kept to the simpler life, with a definite cottage core aesthetic throughout. They are an agricultural society with many settlements and even still wandering nomadic tribes that all unite for the big Games every year.

Lepus' people have been facing an endless winter for over a thousand years. The people have long forsaken and forgotten about their magic, and have relied heavily on science and technology to help rebuild their lives and try to find a way to combat the winter. It's a very sci-fi setting with some style influence from all over.

Lyra is the land of the dead and the home of an eternal party. With plenty of Halloween based influences, there is never a dull moment for those who find themselves in the built towns, and those who are stuck in the fog wander and sing their songs until they find their way to a new home.

Outside of the Realms, there is Dragons Keep, a large mountain in space that acts as the home to all Dragons. It's caves are vast and plentiful, winding all the way through from the head of the mountain, where the High Council meets, to the very bottom. And even with many areas claimed and made use of in this large mountain, there are always mysteries to be found.

Who are the characters?

Astrarium has one of the largest casts of characters we've worked with, with tons of new friends, rivals, and enemies for Ari to meet. Along with Ari, there is a main character for each Realm, with a cast of supporting characters.

Ari (she/her) acts as the main protagonist, helping guide some of the plot and seeing everything through her eyes. On Hydra, our protagonist is Gibbson "Gibbs" Cayde (he/him); on Auriga, Huxley "Huck" Holiday (he/him); on Ursa, Ronan Löx (he/him); on Cygnus, Clyde (he/him); on Orion, Fauna (she/her); on Lepus, Henrietta "Henri" Franklin (possibly she/they, still figuring it out!) ; and on Lyra, Alexei (he/him). Also on Dragons Keep, we have Aris' family, with her adopted mother/Mama, Arabella, her Uncle Killick, and her cousin, Libelle, who is a main character for Dragons Keep.

I hope to get to share more about our supporting cast with you all soon, as they all have some very interesting stories to get to share!

We also are working on art for the main characters as we speak, but we do have Ari's done and that can be found here!

More About The Team?

We're a group of friends who have all known each other since, for the most part, high school! While I'm someone that kind of wants to keep private lives private, I can say that these are the best group of friends to have and we're honestly like our own little family. We've workshopped other projects with each other since, God, like, my senior year of high school? Just about? It's been an insane ride together. We're also just a big bunch of nerds who are all really chill and fun to be around.

How Long is The Story Going To Be?

Astrarium is looking to be the longest project we'll ever do in terms of story timeline, and page count. As the Dragons are masters of time, Ari has the ability to actually mess with it slightly and create what is essentially a "Save point" for herself to go back to after she leaves a Realm. So say she leaves Hydra on a certain day. She can make that save point, go hang out in the other Realms, and come back and it'll be either that exact save point she left at or a few hours later, give or take (though, there are chances of "hiccups" in this, usually occurring when she leaves from Dragons Keep specifically, as it is considered to be outside of the normal flow of time!).

My goal is kind of a fun one of I want it to be one of the longest word count stories out there. I don't really know why I want it to be, other than I think it'd be really cool if I could beat out that Loud House fanfiction in terms of longest works in literature. That's just a nice little goal.

How Can Readers Support the Series?

Honestly, the best thing I can ask for is just getting this around! If anyone takes an interest in this series, reblogs and likes go a long way and are greatly appreciated. We also love, love, love questions!! It's a great feeling to see people want to know more and some questions can really get our thinking caps on to develop more and more! When the site launches, we will again launch the Patreon right alongside it, so if you want to financially support, there'll be reward tiers ranging from $1 a month and upwards! We may look at a Ko-Fi as well and if it looks like people are really interested in it, we may open a merch store and I do want to start releasing some of it as actual books you can have for your shelves!

Financial support is 100000% optional, though, for when that does happen, and like, everyone's situation is different, we just want to make it an option for our audience. But the best feeling in the world to us is seeing people's interest and them sharing it with their friends!

And if anyone has anymore questions, please please please feel free to ask! We're gonna be working on getting to share more updates here soon!! And thank you all for your time!!

[ambivertwriter]

Memories and Regrets (Katsuki Bakugo HC)

Prompt: Birthdays always meant self-reflection for Katsuki Bakugo, but what happens when self-reflection becomes too realistic?

Warning/s: This will have the mention of Bakugo tellling Izuku to “swan dive off the roof”, but I will be using the actual word for it. 

      Despite the way he’d deny the very accusation, there was, in fact, a lot that Bakugo regretted in his life. He’d said and done many things that he wished he could just punch himself for doing. There were so many people close to him that he’d hurt with what he’d done or said. 

      This kind of self reflection always hit hardest on his birthdays. Since he wasn’t one to celebrate extravagantly, he’d simply stay in his room and reflect on who he was in the past, and compare it to how he was now. If you’d ask him, he saw growth, little as it may be, he thought it was there.

      There always was one reoccurring memory that, no matter how he looked at it, made him want to off himself then and there for being as stupid as he was. It was the time he and Izuku were in middle school. Izuku was bright as ever, while Bakugo was the pompous idiot that rivaled even Monoma’s cockiness. Ever since they were kids, Izuku had always been at his beck and call. He was a helping hand, amazed at virtually anything Bakugo did. Yet, Bakugo did nothing but insult and harass him, going as far as suggesting suicide for the sunny hopeful. 

      This year, Bakugo’s classmates had convinced him to at least blow out a candle with them, which he begrudgingly conceded to, considering that Izuku was the one to put the most effort into convincing him. After class, the day resumed as usual until a few minutes before sunset. He heard a knock at the door and opened it only to be yanked out of his room and down the hall before he could register anything. A blindfold was messily tied over his eyes as he heard laughter and felt about 3 people pushing and pulling him every which way, thankfully slowing down at the stairs. 

      He had finally been stopped and his blindfold was taken off. His eyes slowly adjusted to the light, taking long, hard blinks to try and adjust faster. When they had finally adjusted, he saw all his classmates around the on or around the couch in the common room with the sun setting in the distance, showcasing a glorious display of warm colors. He’d never admit it, but he was grateful for whoever remembered that sunsets were his favorite thing to enjoy. He was softly nudged forward as some classmates uncovered a cake while the rest sang Happy Birthday. The cake was simple, yet very heartwarming. It was a single-tiered cake, but it was iced and decorated to mimic the sunset with the words on the cake reading “Happy Birthday, Katsuki” in a gorgeous calligraphy font. 

      The song ended and it was time to make his wish. As he breathed in and closed his eyes, he wished for one thing and one thing only: a chance to change his biggest regret. He puffed out a quick breath to blow out the candle and opened his eyes as everyone clapped. He grumbled a “thanks” before letting everyone do as they wished with the cake, making the excuse that he didn’t want sugar before bed.

      It was finally time for him to sleep. As he laid in bed and shut his eyes, he went through with the breathing exercises he’d made himself familiar with. Just as always, he took a final, deep breath before the floating feeling came in and he was out like a light.

      He didn’t usually dream, but where he was right now didn’t even feel like one. He looked around at his settings and everything looked so real. All his senses were of use with the utmost realism. As he looked down, he realized he was in his middle school uniform. Looking back around, it registered that this was, in fact, his old middle school. 

      Before he could look around and feel the nostalgia of being back in the school, he heard the voice that had caused nothing but dread in his life.

      “Hi, Kaachan! How do you think you did on the test today?” He turned around to see Deku- no- Izuku. He looked nearly the same, with the only difference being the lack of battle scars and the much sunnier disposition. In this moment of shock, he couldn’t do anything but utter a stupid response.

      “Uh. I did fine? I guess?” Bakugo wanted nothing more than to punch himself.

      “I think you did great. Even though we didn’t get our results back yet, it wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary for you to get one of the highest- if not the highest- grade of the class. In fact, getting a bad grade would be the real mystery. Oh! Like some kind of bad-luck quirk had hit you or-” Bakugo was listening intently, but it was as if his mouth was speaking for him. It was back to the same, horrifying conversation he’d tried so desperately to move on from.

      “Good God, you talk a lot,” Bakugo had spouted, but again, it wasn’t really him. He had begun to realize that this was not a dream for him to control. It was more like a memory playing, and he was a passenger on this nightmare ride. Though he was screaming and begging for it to stop, it just wouldn’t.

      “I’m sorry. I just- uhm-”

      “You just- uhm- should fucking quit it. I know I’m great and you’re not, but sucking up to me isn’t gonna make you any less worthless. Yeah, I was given a quirk and you weren’t. And yeah, I know you’re a brainiac who can’t help but do anything to write in that stupid notebook of yours,” Bakugo said as Izuku’s notebook was nabbed and promptly exploded, ”but you should stop hanging off my arm like a fucking freak. You know, if you actually want to be a hero that badly, there might be a way.” Bakugo was practically sobbing, shouting for it to stop. “Just pray you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof of the building.”

      It cut to black and all of a sudden, the setting had changed. He looked over to see that he was now in Izuku’s place, staring back at himself and his old cronies leaving the room. Suddenly, an unbearable, burning pain erupted in his chest. It was so bad that Bakugo physically had to hold his own chest as he dropped to the floor. his vision blurred, and he could feel warm tears streaming down his- rather, Izuku’s- face. This is what it must have felt like to be him. To be bulllied by someone you only wanted to befriend. To be told to off yourself for simply complimenting them. 

      The pain was simply too much, with Bakugo practically screaming his head off in pain. He felt like he was actually about to die, but that’s when he woke up. Back in bed with the sheets strewn about. He panted, trying to steady himself and ground himself back in reality. It was all too much, though. Instead of calming himself down, all he did was work himself up to the point of crying. He shifted so that his knees were at chin level and he could burry his head between them in shame and misery. What he had tried so desperately to resolve was now back to haunt him. What’s worse? It was only a Monday.