#so i tried to go for a theme that was more core to jay and would be something that would carry out through his whole journey/arc/story | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

newpathwrites · 1 year ago

Text

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

V. Jai’s Decision

“Oh…”. Omera’s face fell, now sharing in Din’s sorrow. She brought a hand to his cheek, thumb running over his stubble. “Din, we have to let Jai do what’s best for them. Life in Sorgan isn’t for everyone.”

He sighed. “I know… It’s just… hard. It feels like giving up Grogu all over again.”

Stars, this man really knew how to pull at her heartstrings. “You’ve done well by them both, Din. And you care about them enough to let them go even when it hurts you. That’s the ultimate test for any parent… and you’ve passed with flying colors.”

Summary: Time jump. Din brings Jai to meet the Nite Owls, and Jai comes to a decision about the immediate future.

Note: Our main characters, but mostly Jai, will have various struggles throughout this story, and I hope the underlying theme of found family comes through strongly as they all help each other through it. Even the village at large, who have already accepted Din and Grogu as their own, will play a role in that.

I really enjoyed writing about the village gossip and their meddling in the previous chapter, so I think I’ll try to make it a recurring thread throughout the remainder of the story.

Warnings: Mild temporary angst.

Read on AO3

————————————————————————

The arrival of the young Mandalorian was causing quite a stir in the village, creating gossip the likes of which had not been seen since Omera and Din’s relationship had been the talk of the town. Who was this teenager, really? Was it Din’s own child? Were they “special” like Grogu? Did they get themselves into some sort of trouble? They tried their damndest to gather information, but Omera was not forthcoming, and Jai was even harder to read than Din, evasive to the core.

Clearly, Din had never made the curious villagers aware that Mandalorian helmets were equipped with audio enhancers, allowing the wearer to hear every word spoken about them, and Jai was delighting in the hilarity of the increasingly outlandish theories that were being thrown about. One bright spot in the whole thing was that Jai’s sex was never a subject of conversation - the lack thereof simply accepted without question. Jai had come to realize quickly that the village was rather open to variations in gender expression and relationship structure, and there were others like themself in the small community. Probably, that was one of the reasons nobody seemed much to care that Din and Omera were unmarried. Rules and ideals governing such things just didn’t exist here.

Din and Omera… Stars , Jai owed them everything. They’d been just so wonderful, and Jai pondered if this is what it would feel like to have parents. The two adults had been careful, of course, not to overtly parent Jai, respecting that they were nearly of age and had already spent several years surviving on their own. But they took care to make sure that Jai’s needs, the ones that had been neglected in favor of basic survival all this time, were met… and met well - enough food to put back on some healthy weight, appropriately sized clothing, and a comfortable place to sleep. Omera frequently offered small doses of motherly affection and advice, tempered as much as she could muster to serve Jai’s rather private personality, while Din gently encouraged Jai to continue thinking about their options and maintain their training without setting any hard deadlines or expectations.

Winta and Grogu had become good friends, too, and Jai enjoyed their company more than they had ever enjoyed spending time with the other foundlings at the covert, normally relating more easily to adults. But Winta was just so genuinely kind and Grogu so sweet and friendly that interacting with them, even so frequently, was an effortless pleasure despite Jai’s relative propensity for introversion.

For the first time in their life, Jai felt accepted, cared for, and free … and something that seemed an awful lot like happiness was worming its way into their psyche - a state of being that they’d never dared to consider while living amongst the covert.

Though Din seemed to think that Jai was putting off a decision, about whether to stay in Sorgan or join Bo-Katan’s tribe, the decision had essentially already been made… Who in their right mind would leave this place… and these people? But that was not to say that the choice was simple. Mandalorian ideals die hard - Din was a shining example of this, straddling both worlds because he just couldn’t bring himself to give up the resol'nare entirely. Jai needed to give all of this proper consideration. A visit to Trask seemed to be in order.

Jai had, in fact, already accompanied Din on a few of his travels. While the older Mandalorian had not been tasked with any particular missions, they’d made a social visit to Nevarro so that Jai could offer Greef and Cara their gratitude in person for helping them out of a difficult situation, and then the pair had made a quick stop in Tatooine to take care of some minor repairs at Peli’s shop. But Jai desperately wanted to go meet Bo-Katan, in order to make an informed decision about their next steps, and they had no idea how to broach the topic with Din, not wanting to appear ungrateful for his and Omera’s generosity.

As fate would have it, Din ended up suggesting the visit himself. While he had tried his best to repair and modify Jai’s undersized and damaged armor, it was proving near impossible without the proper tools. Visiting the armorer was out of the question, obviously. But Din figured that the Nite Owls must have had their armor forged by somebody - maybe they could help. And Jai needed to meet them, anyway, so they could kill two birds with one stone here.

Jai seemed both elated and relieved when the suggestion to visit Trask was made… and that gave Din pause, an unexpected, innate reaction which surprised even himself. Jai had integrated extremely well into life on Sorgan, and deep down, Din assumed they’d want to stay. In fact, Din realized now, he wanted Jai to stay - he’d grown quite fond of the teenager in a rather familial way. But damn it, this wasn’t his choice to make. He promised to support Jai whatever they decided, and he was going to do just that. If joining the tribe was Jai’s choice, then so be it.

——————————

Omera sidled up to Din where he stood staring out the small window overlooking the farming ponds, wrapping an arm around his waist and peering out to see what he was watching. Jai and Winta were outside sitting on the grass playing cards, while Grogu climbed up to rest atop Jai’s helmet - a happy snapshot of their small family, recently gaining one member. But Din certainly didn’t look happy about it.

She slid her body around to stand between him and the window wrapping her arms around his neck and looking into his eyes. “Why are you so grim? You’re not exactly prone to elation, but I rarely see you like this .”

He couldn’t even bring himself to smile, the serious expression firmly planted on his face. “I think Jai is leaving… to join Bo-Katan. They seemed relieved and… excited even... when I suggested visiting.”

He sighed. “I know… It’s just… hard. It feels like giving up Grogu all over again.”

“Doesn’t make it sting any less.”

“No, Din, it doesn’t.” She pulled him close, embracing him tightly as his arms wound around her back. “But we’ll get through it together, alright?”

He gave in to her comforting embrace, head falling to her shoulder as he responded. “Okay…”

——————————

“Are you not… taking your things?”

Jai cocked their helmet in confusion from their spot in the jump seat, looking at Din questioningly. “Uhhh… no…. Why would I?” They paused, trying to assess Din’s intentions. “Were you planning on just… dropping me in Trask and leaving?”

Din was visibly taken aback. “What?… No!… I just thought…”

“Din, I’m not making any decisions today. I just want to meet the tribe and see if I’d even fit in.” Jai leaned toward him to convey seriousness. “I’m coming back here with you afterward regardless… Well, assuming you and Omera don’t mind having me…” Was that why Din was acting so weird? Had Jai overstayed their welcome?

Din shook his head in an exaggerated fashion. “No, Jai, you’re welcome for as long as you want to be here.”

Jai paused again, still confused about the nature of this conversation, but then shrugged, giving up on making sense of Din’s strange behavior. “Okay, then… I guess that’s settled…”

Din breathed out a quiet sigh of - at least temporary - relief as he closed the hatch and ignited the engine.

——————————

To Din’s great chagrin, the visit to Trask went… extremely well. Of course, they accomplished the primary task of getting Jai’s armor repaired, Axe apparently becoming somewhat skilled in such things since the loss of their own armorer. But it was Jai’s immediate taking to Bo-Katan, their rather unique personalities and intellectual natures melding quite well, that was most alarming. They’d hit it off immediately, conversing endlessly as Bo-Katan showed Jai around their small compound, sharing bits of Mandalorian history - the kind never taught in the covert - and Jai couldn’t get enough, fascinated by it all.

From Din’s perspective, Jai was already lost - another foundling better off without him . But he needed to snap himself out of it. This wasn’t about him - it was about what was best for Jai. He was taken out of his brooding by Koska’s hand on his shoulder. “She’s pretty charismatic when she wants to be, isn’t she?”

He didn’t respond except for a subtle nod. Koska continued. “You can’t help yourself, can you? Taking in lost souls? Getting attached? I’ve seen you like this once before.”

Din cleared his throat. “I was a lost soul once, and I wouldn’t be standing here right now if the Watch hadn’t taken me in. I only do what they did for me.”

Koska looked at him pointedly, smirking. “ You are not like the Watch, Din. You are something much better. Come on, vod. Let’s spar and get your mind off it.”

The friendly sparring match was a good distraction, actually. They chatted about some updates on the Mandalore front, as well as a newly discovered covert that had agreed to join the ranks. Koska dutifully asked about Omera and the children, but Din offered up very little, as per usual.

Eventually, Bo-Katan re-emerged, commanding an interruption. “Djarin - may we speak privately?”

Din turned toward her voice. “Uhhh… sure… Where’s Jai?”

“They’re at the forge, putting on the final touches. The armor looks much better - Axe is really becoming quite skilled.” She whipped her head to the side, gesturing for Din to follow and then turned to face him as they stepped into her administrative space. “Are you in the mood for a drink?”

Stars , he could use one, actually. “Yeah, a drink would be good,” he murmured as he lifted off the helmet.

“So I get your face today… that’s rare… what’s the occasion?” She placed two drinks down on the table and pushed one his way, sitting down across from him.

He only shrugged in response, so she continued.

“Jai is something… they’ll make an excellent strategist one day… sure kept me on my toes.”

Din perked up a bit, happy to know at least that Bo-Katan could see what he did in the teenager. “Yeah, they’ve been like that since childhood, actually. One of the smartest people I’ve ever known… if only they knew what to do with it…” He actually managed a chuckle there.

Bo-Katan looked at him for a moment, assessing. “Hmmm… They would fit in well here, if they wanted to join us. I’d love to have them in our ranks.”

Din looked down at his drink. “Yeah, I could see that.”

“They told me a lot about you… and Omera…” Din looked up in surprise at that. “How you’ve both cared for them, made them part of your family. You’ve both done very well by them, Din… Jai is very grateful to you.”

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I… uhhh… I owe it to Jai to help however I can. It was my fault that they were put in that situation in the first place, and I have to fix it. Turns out they don’t really need me, though.” He laughed. “They have a way of seeing things clearly that you can’t see yourself… if you know what I mean… It’s been enlightening, having Jai with us.”

Bo-Katan grinned. “I do know what you mean, actually. These past few hours have been enlightening on my end, too.” She chuckled lightly, “Jai told me some other things, you know, about you and your lady love …”

Din groaned. “Oh, no…”

“Don’t worry, Din. It’s nothing too embarrassing. It sounds like she and her daughter have been good for you. Jai said you’re like a different man when you’re with them - that you’re an excellent father and that you and Omera are very sweet together. Always sneaking out…” She laughed out loud as Din’s face reddened. “You’re a good man, vod. Your secret’s safe with me.”

He downed his drink. “Okay… I think it’s time for us to go…”

——————————

Jai didn’t speak much on the flight home, lost in thought. The visit had gone well, and Jai sensed that they would fit in. But despite the easy comradery with Bo-Katan, something about her didn’t sit right. It was true that the Nite Owls were much less strict and manipulative than their former tribe, but Bo-Katan still reminded Jai in some ways of the armorer - withholding information to exert her will and acting dishonorably if it would serve her cause. Jai gleaned all of this over the course of casual conversation, something Bo-Katan would not have suspected a teenager capable of doing - and this was Jai’s advantage in such a situation, asking leading questions and receiving the older woman’s relatively unguarded answers which told more truth than she intended if you knew how to read between the lines. Jai would have to ask Din about his experiences with her later, to see if their impressions were correct.

Anway, this experience only confirmed that Jai’s place was no longer with a tribe. Jai’s place was in Sorgan with these wonderful people who had welcomed them into their home and allowed them to have a life of real freedom. There was nowhere else they could imagine being now. Jai’s decision was made. They would tell Din and Omera tonight.

But Maker, dinner was a somber affair. Din barely spoke, and Omera looked on the verge of tears. Jai was starting to wonder if something was going on. Maybe they should wait to give them the news? No , Jai thought to themself, it’s time to make this real . They only hoped that whatever was happening to the two adults right now hadn’t changed their feelings about allowing Jai to stay in Sorgan with them long-term.

As everyone finished eating and Omera started to stand to begin clearing the table, Jai cleared their throat to get everyone’s attention. “Could we all… talk about something?”

Omera nodded, face contorting as she tried to hold the tears at bay, while Din looked down at his lap with a strange expression. Jai put both hands down on the table in frustration. “Okay… what is going on?” They gestured to Din. “Why are you making that face?”

Din looked up as if he didn’t know what Jai was talking about. “What face?”

Jai looked at him pointedly. “That face you make when you’re upset that you’re having emotions.” Then they looked at Omera. “And why have you been crying all evening?” Winta and Grogu just looked on in utter confusion. This was going nowhere. “Alright, then. I have something I’d like to tell you, if you all can pull yourselves together long enough to listen.”

Omera sniffled. “Of course. We’re listening, sweetheart…” Tears promptly filled her eyes.

Jai was baffled. “ Maker, I really don’t understand what’s going on right now, but here it goes…” They took a deep breath. “I’d like to stay here in Sorgan… with you… permanently, if you’re still willing to have me. I don’t want to join the tribe.”

Winta and Grogu whooped with joy, while Din and Omera looked shell-shocked, apparently expecting something else. But finally, Omera’s hands flew to her face which took on a much happier expression while Din broke into a genuine smile, the rare kind that reached his eyes.

Din spoke first. “Jai, we’d love for you to stay, if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

“It is,” Jai said with sincerity.

Omera got up and came over to Jai’s side of the table. “May I hug you? Is that alright?” She knew Jai wasn’t particularly affectionate, but the occasion seemed to call for it.

Jai stood and happily embraced her, suddenly feeling a little bit emotional themself, allowing a couple stray tears to slip down their cheeks. Winta and Grogu were next, crying tears of absolute joy.

Din kept his composure, just barely, as he pulled Jai into a warm hug, a rare thing for the two Mandalorians. “I’m really glad, kid. I was hoping you’d stay.”

Jai smiled and wiped the tears from their face. “This is the Way.”

Din chuckled. “Yeah. This is the Way.”

——————————

That evening, the news spread quickly once Winta shared it with a friend, and an impromptu harvest celebration was declared not long after in honor of the village’s new resident. This time, Jai indulged all of the villagers’ curiosities, telling them how they’d known Din nearly their entire life, what series of unfortunate events had left them fending for themselves, and how Din and Omera had taken them in and made them feel at home. Of course, everyone sang Din and Omera’s praises, the kind and brave caretakers of their small village and all who live in it, and Jai happily agreed with the sentiment.

Little gossip was to be had now. Jai had revealed their background. Din and Omera were long-settled. All that remained at this point was to wait… for the two Mandalorians to show their faces… if they ever would - there were some bets being made on whether it would ever happen at all. Jai made a pastime of listening in on the villagers’ theories about what they both looked like. Some got it right - that they were both plain old, regular-looking humanoids just like the rest of the village, while others had more exotic ideas. They would find out... someday soon...

What nobody realized, though, was that something much more exciting was in store…

————————————————————————

Thanks for reading!

Next chapter

#din djarin x omera #mandomera #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #nonbinary original character #a new creed #how to build a clan #newpathwrites

1 note · View note

spicycreativity · 3 years ago

Text

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 1

Chapter: 1/12 Rating: T (for language) Content Warnings: Canon-typical Remus content. This chapter only: alcohol use Characters: All Pairings: Moceit, background Prinxiety, background Intrulogical (yes I played a little game of "pair the spares") Additional Tags: Hey it's the fic I published on Anon because I was embarrassed of how utterly pretentious it is!, post-PoF, sickfic, dirty poetry, humor interspersed with philosophy and Janus-typical pontification, this is VERY speculative and will get Jossed in the future lmao Summary: After claiming his place in the Light and coming face-to-face with the consequences of his actions, Janus finds himself unwillingly re-calibrating his moral compass. For selfish reasons, of course. But one apology snowballs into several, and soon he's running around the Mindscape with a low-grade fever and a guilty conscience as he desperately tries to regain some sense of self. Oh, and he's definitely not falling in love with Patton, so don't even bring it up. One Last Note: I wrote this in an ADHD fugue state. It is HEAVILY influenced by Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment, but there are also references to poetry and various other works of literature. I also deliberately used symbols, themes, and motifs. Most of them are pretty in your face except for the recurring ouroboros, which is used as a symbol of rebirth. ...Told you it was pretentious.

When you wake up to the promise of your dream world comin' true With one less friend to call on, was it someone that I knew? Away you will go sailing in a race among the ruins If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon

Janus appeared in the Dark side of the Mindscape, elation swelling in his chest. Even the ringing headache and bitter taste in his mouth couldn't hollow the unfamiliar triumph that warmed him to the core. Caught up in his own thoughts, it took a moment for him to register the sight before him: Remus, upside-down on the couch, his brow furrowed and face an alarming shade of purple.

For a moment, Janus stood stock-still as he tried to get his bearings. He must have been more flustered than he'd realized-- He'd been aiming for his bedroom.

But here he was, staring down at Remus, who was definitely going to burst a blood vessel (or several) if he didn't flip over soon.

"That's not horrifying at all," Janus said, thinking it would be rude to dismiss Remus, especially since he had probably been eavesdropping. He had likely heard everything. Everything. Even the ugly parts.

"Do you remember when Thomas read that post about Nutty Putty Cave?" Remus asked in a strained, strangled voice. "That spelunker who died because he got stuck upside-down?"

"No," Janus said, before realizing his mistake. "Yes." He definitely wanted Remus to remind him of the gory details.

"That's what I thought," Remus said with a wicked grin.

Janus sighed through his nose. Remus, though he thrived on attention, seemed content enough to continue his experiment by himself. On the other hand, if Janus didn't bring up a certain insult he'd levied at Roman, Remus most certainly would, and at a time where it would cause the most upset and turmoil. Better for Janus to deal with it now, even if he would have to fight the tension pulling his muscles taut. He wanted to dance. He wanted to scream.

Hesitation proved to be Janus' downfall, and by the time he'd opened his mouth to broach the subject at hand, Remus had beaten him to the blow. "You're not usually this quiet, Oralboros. Snake got your tongue?"

Janus, again, sighed. Rather than answer, he doffed his hat, set it on the coffee table, and clumsily arranged himself upside-down next to Remus. The change in position immediately made his head throb. He ignored it. "I definitely meant it when I called you 'evil'."

Remus' eyes widened in faux-shock. "You called me evil ?" he shrieked, voice ringing out high and clear. "Me? How dare you. I'm an angel!"

At least Remus was taking it well. "Sarcasm is my thing," Janus said, realizing that he might make it out of this without having to properly apologize.

For some reason, Patton's face flashed into his mind, and a subsequent twinge of guilt made his tongue go sour. Fine. If there was ever a time to start telling uncomfortable truths… "But I am sorry I said that."

"Wow!" Remus laughed. "You must be upset." A red stain began to spill across his left eye. "You don't apologize."

"It’s not like I care about your feelings or anything." Janus would have liked to have drawn himself up to his full height, but it was impossible to do while upside-down. "As much as I'm enjoying watching your blood vessels slowly burst, would you please turn over before you hurt yourself? I've suffered enough psychological trauma for today."

"Oh, fine." Remus kicked his legs and landed neatly on his toes like a gymnast.

Janus, by contrast, got his arms tangled in his capelet and nearly folded himself in half before he found his balance again. "I meant to do that," he said, turning to grab his hat so Remus wouldn't see the blush on his face.

The sudden sensation of blood draining from his head made the room whirl. He steadied himself against Remus' shoulder until it slowed somewhat, but nothing could dampen the horrible ringing in his ears.

"Well," he said, adjusting his shirt. The sudden appearance of his conscience had taken the wind out of his sails more than he cared to admit, and all thoughts of dancing bled out of him along with a good deal of energy. "I'm not going to go scream into my pillows until I tire myself out."

"Being an agent of chaos is hard work," Remus said with a sage nod, "but that doesn't sound very relaxing, Mr Self Care."

"It's a form of meditation, if you think about it," Janus said.

Remus made a face. "You know I don't do that."

"...Meditate?"

"No, think."

"Ah. Well." Janus made only a token attempt to hide his fond smile. "Good night, Remus. Please stay up late and injure yourself."

"Can do, Snakeypoo.”

Janus turned. It was close enough, he might as well walk to his bedroom, especially considering how well his last attempt at appearing in it had gone.

The reason why that had been so difficult became apparent in mere moments. Janus froze in the hall and dropped to his knees at the giddy wave of horror and delight that made him too light-headed to stand.

He knelt in front of the empty stretch of wall where his door had been previously. Heat flooded his face.

"Jay?" The rounded toes of Remus' boots appeared in his line of sight. Janus zeroed in on them, the mud splatters and stains on the soft leather. "You have an aneurysm or what?"

Janus, unable to speak, motioned for Remus to turn around. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"Ohhh," said Remus. "Well. Good luck with that ." He hauled Janus to his feet. "So you're a boner fide good guy now, huh?"

Janus stared over Remus' shoulder at the empty stretch of wall where his door used to be. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

Remus shrugged and rose up on his toes. "You can scream into my pillows instead, if you want."

"As tempting as that is…" Janus trailed off, his eyes still fixed on the wall. It was tempting, despite the constant chaos in Remus' room. But he'd have to face the Light side sooner or later. It wasn't like he could move his room back, not without psychologically damaging Thomas and undoing all the work he'd done. "I'm really looking forward to getting insulted some more."

"Alright," Remus said with a shrug. "Try not to throw me under the bus this time, alright? Unless it's a real bus…" His gaze became dreamy, unfocused. "And it's doing 50 in a school zone and there's a whole pack of screaming kids in the crosswalk--"

"Goodbye, Remus." Janus turned and left.

The barrier between the "dark" and the "light" sides of Thomas' brain had been a joint venture. It would have been there in some form no matter what, but it was Janus and Roman (with Patton's tacit blessing) who had worked to put up something more physical between them.

Janus ducked under the red curtain, trepidation percolating in his stomach, but what he found on the other side was anticlimactic to say the least: It was dead silent on this side of the barrier.

Janus wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He knew by now that the so-called "Lights" had issues working out their interpersonal issues, and this most recent conflict wasn't the kind of thing you just got over. It did follow that they would all go off to lick their wounds for a time.

Hesitantly, toe-to-heel, Janus crept down the hall. It felt for all the world like he was sneaking around a vast hotel, right down to needlessly ornate design on the plush carpeting. That was probably Roman's doing.

Janus focused, trying to call the Mindscape to work for him. He wanted to go to his room.

The Mindscape listened. Janus turned a corner and found a row of doors stretching down yet another brightly-lit corridor. His eye was immediately drawn, not to the brilliant yellow of his own door, but to the figure huddled in front of it: Patton sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, forehead resting on his knees.

"Looking for someone?" Janus asked, slightly louder than necessary.

Patton jerked his head up. "Oh! Janus!" He plastered an unconvincing smile on his face. "You sure pop star-tled me."

Scaring Patton hadn't brought Janus nearly the level of schadenfreude he'd thought it would. He crossed his arms over his chest, extending a third to help Patton up. "Take your time getting to the point.”

"Oh." Patton accepted Janus' proffered hand and got to his feet. Warmth spilled from him, permeating the fabric of Janus' glove and gently heating his palm. "Well, it's just…" He took a deep breath. "I noticed your door and I thought-- Well, I wanted to make you feel welcome!"

A high-pitched tone resonated in Janus' skull. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing at the mounting pressure-pain-exhaustion in his temples. "Aren't you just a saint ." Patton's face fell. Janus fought the urge to swear aloud. He usually had a better handle on himself, and he knew better than to alienate potential allies. "I mean, thank you, Patton. Truly. I appreciate it." Patton had proven himself useful. Janus should at least cultivate that relationship, even if it meant a little discomfort.

"Have you eaten?" Patton asked. "It's a little late, but I could make something if you wanted." He paused. "Maybe we could play cards or something." Another pause. "O-only if you want to, I mean."

Janus let his face remain impassive even as he internally cringed at the idea of staying awake for even another second. It would be so easy to brush Patton off with a few honeyed words and disappear beyond the barrier of his door. But Patton had stood up for him today, or at least he'd tried to. Janus sighed. Quid pro quo. "That sounds like an utter waste of time."

"Are you… I'm sorry, sometimes I can't tell when you're…"

"Yes, Patton. That sounds lovely."

Patton actually hopped in place, an adorable little jig that absolutely didn't send a confusing little shockwave of fondness through Janus' ribcage. "Really?"

"Really," Janus lied.

He followed Patton down the hall into the living room, which opened into the dining room and the kitchen. Janus studied his surroundings, trying to take in as much as his exhausted faculties would allow. Even in the absence of other Sides, the living room felt warm and welcoming. All the lights were on, and they bathed everything in gentle golden light .

"You're awfully quiet," Patton said.

Janus shook himself. "I was just getting my bearings."

"I guess you've never really been over here, huh?" Pattton opened the refrigerator. Was he actually going to cook , instead of just manifesting something? How quaint. "Do you like grilled cheese?"

It had been a long, confusing day. Doublespeak came to Janus as naturally as breathing, but he was obviously running circles around Patton even when he wasn't trying to. "Yes," he said, hoping to telegraph his sincerity by not emoting at all.

It seemed to work. Patton studied him for a moment before turning back to the fridge. "Then that's what I'll make."

Janus took advantage of this temporary distraction to clamber onto one of the barstools. The slick velvet of his capelet tended to disagree with surfaces like wood and vinyl, and he needed a moment to arrange things so he didn't look as unbalanced as he felt.

He watched Patton work in the kitchen, a detached coolness washing out the scene. Quid pro quo, he reminded himself when he felt his facade begin to slip. He owed Patton this.

He certainly didn't feel the slightest twinge of guilt, that he had been the one to orchestrate this breakdown. Yes, the Light Sides had loaded the gun, but in the end it was Janus who had pulled the trigger.

He shook his head and thought about playing cards, good Bicycle playing cards with holes punched through them like they'd come from a casino. "What should we play?" he asked, pulling the deck from his breast pocket.

Patton looked up from the stovetop, his eyes flicking to the cards in Janus' hand. "Do you know Kings in the Corners?"

"Not personally, no."

Patton laughed, but there was something cold about it. "It's really simple," he said. "I'll show you how to play and you can tell me if you like it."

It was nearly impossible to cheat at Kings in the Corners. Janus doubted this had been a calculated measure on Patton's part, doubted he had the capacity for that kind of foresight, but he respected it just the same.

They played in funereal silence, staring each other down across the light wood of the dining room table. Janus, ill-inclined to take off his gloves, utilized a napkin to keep from staining them with melted butter from the grilled cheese Patton had made. Neither one of them smiled. Neither one of them spoke.

Janus pulled a card from the deck to indicate the end of his turn and glanced up at Patton. His face was somber, almost sorrowful, and it clashed against the gentle domesticity of the dining room, with its floral table runner and mismatched placemats.

Janus started to laugh.

"What is it?" Patton asked, cheeks darkening. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Janus swallowed down another peal of laughter and cleared his throat, unable to wholly restrain the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You look like I’m holding you here at gunpoint." It was somewhat ironic, considering Janus was the one who felt like he couldn't leave.

"What?" Patton smiled, but it was more akin to an offering than an expression of joy.

"It’s not really funny. " Janus wasn’t quite sure how to make Patton understand.

Patton sat back with a sigh, placing his cards facedown on the table. "But I guess it is pretty funny, huh? In a really sad way."

Janus almost asked what was sad about it before realizing that Patton probably missed his friends. Instead he said, "Yes" and stifled a yawn behind his free hand.

"I'll make coffee!" Patton leapt to his feet and was off to the kitchen before Janus could so much as blink.

The newfound solitude made it that much harder for Janus to ignore his headache, which had only worsened in the hour or so he'd been playing cards with Patton. Despite the nonchalant facade he'd tried so hard to project, he'd been holding himself tense.

Maybe the night (or morning, at this point) would be easier to tolerate if he had, say, a bit of gold rum.

The corner of a flask dug into Janus' hip. He smiled.

"Just how late are you planning on staying up?" he asked Patton when the latter returned holding two mismatched mugs.

"Oh, I don't know," Patton said. Lied. He set a mug down in front of Janus and then resumed his seat, the cards forgotten by his elbow. "I'm… A little scared of what tomorrow will be like."

Janus eased the flask out of his pocket. "Rum?"

"Oh, um," Patton said, staring at the flask. "I don't know…"

Janus raised an eyebrow, working something out. He landed on it a millisecond later: Patton wanted to be convinced. Easy enough. Janus opened the flask and poured what he hoped was a shot into his own mug. It was black, he noticed, except for the yellow snake that wrapped around it, its tail firmly in its own mouth. Ouroboros. "Surely you don't intend to make me drink alone?"

As Janus had expected, Patton buckled the second he was pushed. "I guess not."

It was funny, Janus mused as he carefully tipped rum into Patton's coffee, how lying was only off-limits when Janus suggested it. Hilarious.

But now wasn't the time for bitterness, now was the time to repay the debt he owed Patton. "Cheers," he said, pocketing the flask once more.

"Cheers."

Janus sipped his coffee. "You put milk in this," he observed.

Patton's smile was surprisingly sly. "I know you want me to think you take it black. Virgil did too, at first. I know you ‘Dark Sides’ have an image you like to uphold."

"And how does Virgil take his coffee now?" Janus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"With Snickers-flavored creamer."

"Well, I do take my coffee black," Janus lied.

Patton's smile never faltered. "We'll see, kid-- Uh, Janus."

"Patton," Janus said, before he could start thinking about the implications of Patton wanting to call him 'kiddo,' "you are planning on sleeping tonight, aren't you?"

"Maybe eventually," Patton said, suddenly unable to look Janus in the eye. "At some point."

"Tomorrow will come whether or not you sleep. It's definitely better to pull an all-nighter and feel like garbage instead of facing everything with a clear head."

"I know." Patton leaned forward so he could rest his head on his hand.

For a moment, Janus was tempted to mirror him. Sitting up straight was becoming quite the chore. "I know how the others love a calm, rational discussion."

"Oh, I wish." Patton's expression turned wistful.

Janus stifled a yawn behind his hand. He had half-expected the coffee to counteract the depressant effect of the alcohol, but all he had to show for the combination was a racing heart.

"I'll be fine out here if you want to go to bed," Patton said. Without seeming to realize he was doing it, he brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on his thumbnail.

It was a tempting offer. A day ago, Janus would have taken it. After all, it wasn't like he cared about Patton outside of professional courtesy. They weren't friends. But guilt nagged at him and wouldn't let him entertain the idea of abandoning Patton for longer than a second.

"That's a remarkable impression of a window," Janus said, waiting for Patton to look confused before elaborating, "I can see right through you."

"You got me." Patton smiled sadly. "That's something I've always admired about you, Janus."

Now it was Janus' turn to be confused. "What?"

"You're so… clever."

Janus narrowed his eyes. "Please do keep trying to change the subject."

"It's just… I don't want to have to lie there and, and think about today and everything I did wrong. I hurt Thomas. I hurt my friends." Patton's eyes were shiny behind his glasses; the unshed tears sparkled in the light when he locked eyes with Janus. "Aren't you going to think about the same thing?"

Anger flared, perhaps prematurely, in Janus' chest. "About what you did wrong today?"

"About what you did wrong," Patton said timidly.

"I," Janus said icily, "didn't do anything wrong." He stared Patton down across the table, jaw set, daring him to push back. Let him lecture and nag, let him prove that he hadn't changed no matter what he said.

But Patton only nodded, his face lined with misery. "Okay," he softly. "I think you're right, Janus. We should go to bed."

Janus thought about how much faster he could get to bed if the table was cleared, and all the dishes and cards vanished in a blink.

"Um, Janus?" Patton said.

"Yes?"

"I don't regret everything that happened today."

"Oh?"

Patton only nodded and sank out.

Janus made a beeline for his own room; better to find his way there on foot rather than risk appearing in the wrong spot.

Once inside, he looked around to ensure nothing was amiss, eyes roving over the dark wood of his bookshelves and desk, his mirrored closet doors, the leather armchairs across from his bed.

Everything was exactly as Janus had left it. He nodded, satisfied, set his hat on the nightstand, and sprawled out of top of the covers without bothering to further undress.

One hazy thought crawled to the surface of his mind before he fell asleep: At least he wouldn't be one of the regrets haunting Patton tonight.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #janus sanders #moceit #spicywrites soft-shoe shuffle #song featured is: race among the ruins - gordon lightfoot #pics are free to use from unsplash and wikimedia commons

10 notes · View notes

lewiscarrolatemybrain · 5 years ago

Text

Somebody made a post about the similarities between Mal and Audrey and I was gonna reblog it ranting about how D3 robbed us but then it turned into me basically rewriting D3 and I’d feel bad dumping this word vomit on somebody else so here we go:

D3 would have been So Much Better if it had been about Mal and Audrey teaming up after Audrey was mind controlled by Maleficent's scepter.

The two start off awkwardly working together cause they made up at the end of D1 (not that Descendants like. Cares about it's own canon or anything.) but they still don't really mesh, there's too much conflict in how they were raised and how they think they should do things. Then it's the classic enemies to friends where they realize the other often makes good points and come to see how similar they are.

Queen of Mean becomes a duet about Audrey struggling with her grandmother's expectations and trying to find her place now that she's not The Future High Queen while Mal (who's whole arc in D2 was learning that she doesn't need to replace her mother's expectations with anyone else's, she can just be herself. Again not that Disney cares.) reassures her that even if it's "mean" to dismiss the expectations of the adult in your life, sometimes to be happy and safe you gotta disappoint your family a little bit.

Leah is the one arguing that the barrier should be closed forever (cause her granddaughter was possessed by an evil fairy gasp the horror) but Mal never buys that because it's 100% OOC for her (Descendants? Caring about characterization? Nah.) Instead they need to take down Maleficent and the rest of the escaped villains before Queen Leah can convince the rest of the royals to close the barrier, which is how the sea three get involved.

There's more thinly-veiled child abuse in the form of Leah wanting to lock Audrey away “for her own good” since Audrey disagrees with closing the barrier and Clearly that means she’s still under Maleficent’s influence. Meanwhile Maleficent puts Mal to sleep as punishment for defying her in D1, telling her when she wakes up Maleficent can rule Auradon and Mal will be grounded for real until she learns to see that her mother only wants what’s best for her. Ben goes full beast and Maleficent mocks him that now her silly daughter won't have any more delusions about true love, with him being such a hideous monster.

Instead of Mal and Uma learning to work together Night Falls is about Audrey realizing that she actually works really well with the VKs and they all in turn work well with her. There's some gay subtext between Audrey and Uma. Audrey is cheering and jumping and in general being more excited than she’s ever been and when the VKs all kind of eye her in confusion she shyly admits that she’s never really had any friends who had her back like that, since she was a princess and that’s all anybody saw, and they tell her that on the isle people respect you based on what you do, not what your parents did.

They de-furry Ben who kisses Mal awake and the final battle goes exactly the same way only with Maleficent instead of Audrey as the villain, and there's a scene where Maleficent sends up a wall of thorns and Audrey is almost compelled to prick her finger on one but Ben tackles her out of the way. They have a quick conversation where Audrey tries to apologize for only seeing Ben for his political ties when they were dating at the same time as Ben tries to apologize for how he dumped her and they both laugh it off and agree that they're glad they can be real friends now.

Instead of being turned to stone all the VKs are like. IDK trapped behind the previously-mentioned wall of thorns and have to get through before they can swoop in at the last second and join in the fight. Maybe Evie brews a potion that disintegrates the vines so they can get through? And idk how everyone helps but they do, dammit, you can’t make a movie with a core theme of teamwork and togetherness and then not have the climax involve those themes, Disney.

Instead of Audrey falling asleep it’s Aurora and Phillip who Maleficent put under a special curse cause she obviously hates them both, and since they are each others’ true loves they can’t wake up. Hadies comes through and there’s a tearful conversation between Aurora and her parents where she apologizes, they reassure her she isn’t to blame, blah blah, there’s some talk of how they both only want what’s best for her and since Aurora wasn’t raised to be a queen she struggles with it, which is why she took a back seat and let her mother mostly take over Audrey’s life, but she can see she was wrong and should have been louder about how much she loves her daughter. Meanwhile, Hades looks at Mal with a sad, thoughtful look on his face.

Instead of Hades walking away calmly and Mal stopping him in the hallway, he’s shackled alongside Maleficent, who he turns to and says “I think I learned something today. Did you?” Aaaaaand the ending pretty much goes the same way, only instead of the rotten four excitedly running towards the Isle to reunite with their parents it’s a thoughtful, somber moment of them realizing that even though their parents were wrong and hurt them they were doing it out of love, and now they all need to try and learn from each other and grow a new, healthy relationship built on mutual understanding. (This is still a Disney movie, after all.)

The last shot isn’t of the rotten four running for the isle, but Cruella, Jafar and the Evil Queen running for Auradon and awkwardly embracing their children. Hades swaggers up, hugs Mal. Maleficent lingers in the background until Mal approaches her. Maleficent says “You really are happy here, aren’t you?” Mal says yes and they hug, both of them teary-eyed. Ben gets the stank eye from Both of Mal’s parents. Dance sequence, implied Harry/Uma, gay subtext between Jay and Gil. Mal admits that she still has No Idea how this whole being queen thing works and Audrey says then she’s lucky she has a friend who can teach her, and the two share a hug. Yaaaaaay happy ending. Roll credits.

#hey disney you see how easy that was #descendants #disney descendants #audrey daughter of sleeping beauty #mal bertha #we could have had it aaaaaaaaall #shut up alice

40 notes · View notes

astrogone · 4 years ago

Text

I have ( had? ) two original characters who I had created for one of my novels that I never really got to work on, but been wanting to now since I had just stumbled across them in my very old storage server, and, uh, I really be wondering how many people would want to see more of / interact with these two dumbasses who are the past and future counterparts of each other, Jax and Jay Rosenberg.

The only reason they’re relevant to the theme of astrotechne, aka this blog, is because after Jax saw a shooting star, he sarcastically made a wish of wanting to have hope again after he had lived in despair for a while. This shooting star was actually an entity who came from a celestial race known as the Wishwrights, which are akin to Angel / Jinni hybrid creations who would make themselves fall from the heavenly realm as to sacrifice their bodies so it can create a certain energy that would allow the wishes made by those seeing them be granted. Their lore is pretty sad, but that’s a different post to be made in another day.

Anyway, this “hope” was actually Jax’s past self, nicknamed Jay ( as Jay would call himself “Jax Junior” or “JJ” ), and at the end of the novel, for their heroic acts ( I haven’t really decided what they had to do throughout the plotline, but, something about saving time from collapsing, maybe ), they were given a wish by the same Wishwright who Jax saw falling in the beginning, and they both made a wish of wanting to have each other in their life. Although they had to be immortals so their timelines could be retracted / merged in order to maintain the order in the Universe, and they both used the immorality to help people, especially children, by giving them wishes, essentially making themselves Wishwrights.

Below the cut is a bit more info about Jax and Jay since, again, I do want to know if anyone would like to see more of them / write with them! Lemme know with a heart and / or comment! <3

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓

In every ways, he truly does represent the bright side of a human. He is best known to be extremely energetic, opening, and optimistic. Often times he can be absentminded and clumsy, though he still at least attempts to put some amount of effort in cleaning after himself. He usually doesn’t take life seriously, which often gets him into trouble for being constantly immature and not seeing life in a darker perspective for his sake. He does not believe in the idea of people being too good, but not too bad either, so he is always accepting and opening to everyone he encounters while he wants to make new friends everyday and hope them the best of their futures. He is careless to what people think of him, so he can sometimes come across as blunt and nonchalant in his words, depending on a situation. He is always optimistic about everything and dislikes when people tries to make him see otherwise. Though he sees life in a more positive nihilistic manner, seeing nothing truly matters in the end, but to him, he believes there is always a chance for him to make his own meanings out of what his life gives to him. That’s what make his life beautiful.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄

Unlike Jay, he represents the dark side of a human. Alway, is he resentful and angry and harsh to the world around him. He had lost his faith in the better futures of himself and the world after he had been constantly used on and reminded of his flaws, so he does not find any worth in doing about anything but killing horrible people so those who were harmed by them could have the futures he never had ( though they would be done mainly for his own selfish reasons of wanting to take his rage out and place himself in the victims’ position of being saved ). He is tensed and serious over nearly everything, and is easy to be flustered when treated kindly. He is rude so he can protect himself as he fears of creating new bonds only to be hurt once more. He have always been a loner, and though he would think to himself he didn’t need anyone, the loneliness would always get the best of him. Because of the agony and traumas he had to go through for so long, he holds a negative nihilistic view towards life and is pessimistic about everything. He believes the world has always been a cruel one, so why waste the energy in trying to change what is permanent to the core. Save the rest to die well instead.

Bonus content because these are too good not to share

#( I think it would be nice to have people interact with the muses who aren’t aligned to any deities )#( status and / or amalgam wise )#( even though bringing Jax and Jay over would kind of mess with the mythology aspect of the theme this blog have )#( since they are their own individuals and not associated with any mythological figures unlike all of my other muses )#( again it would be pretty neat to give others a chance to write with someone who isn’t so powerful and superior ya know? )#( but yeah this post is basically an interest check to see if anyone actually wants more content of Jax and Jay on here )#( and even want to write with them! )#( also to store these info in because this blog is basically my storage for lores and such too abdhsHSHS )#tbt.#//#long post cw #murder mention cw #blood mention cw

4 notes · View notes

lowkeyaesthvtic · 5 years ago

Text

Evil Karma - Chapter 1

Word Count: 2,753

Pairings: none yet

Summary: A new VK arrives on the isle with no clue of what has happened to her ‘almost family

Rating: whole story will be a T rating (with some chapters being M) but this chapter is relatively PG

Warnings: mentions of (not graphic) death, just overall anger and villainy

I awoke in a haze with a sharp pain in my back and shoulders. The last thing I remembered was using one of my father’s old trinkets to make a portal. The special thing with portals is that they could take you anywhere as long as you focused on where you wanted to go. What sucked about that was I had never been anywhere else before...therefore I had no place to focus on. This must have been where the portal placed me. I forced myself to stand and took a look around me. One thing I could immediately tell was that I was on some sort of island from the familiar scent of salty seawater hitting me. As I continued to look around, however, I knew this island was nowhere near familiar. Everything felt so incredibly overcrowded. Trash, dirt, and flies invaded the space around me. It was only a few more seconds before I noticed people bumping into me without a second thought. Some of them girls, some of them boys, some of them tall and mischievous, others were small and unknowing of their actions. One thing they all had in common? They all tried to steal something from me.

Pickpocketing was something I had learned from my father at quite a young age. He told me that the boys where we lived were ‘incredibly lost souls’ and ‘may not know how to react to someone who looked like me.’ His answer to that problem was to teach me as much as he could. So that’s what he did. I learned all the ways of my home’s magic, figured out how to harness and use it as a sort of...persuasion, and became the best on the island with a bow and arrow. It was because of all I had learned that anyone who tried to steal from me had failed. Until one person in particular had brought a bit of a challenge.

As soon as I felt him bump against my hip, I dodged any further contact and went for my dagger, as per usual. However, when I brandished my dagger, I was met with something I never thought I’d see: a rusted hook made of silver. No way. No way this could be true. “Hook…” I mumbled, standing down from my fighting stance and running through the crowded alley.

“Wait, you know me? But I don’t know you! Come back, you runt!” I hear a confused, aggressive yell in response and before I knew it, he was chasing me. As I hurried past the people in the alley, I ran past names that looked all too familiar. Lady Tremaine...Dr Facilier...Mother Gothel...it was at this point that I finally knew where I was. I knew my father and I had lost. My magic wouldn’t work here, my boys were likely too far gone, and I’d have to start all over. It wasn’t until I saw the hooked man’s figure in front of me that I realized I had stopped dead in my tracks. “How do you know me? One of the street rats tell you about me?” His accent was thick, incredibly hard to understand, yet it spoke to him. Something about his voice added to his madness, his unpredictability.

“I don’t know you...well, I don’t know your face, at least. Our parents knew each other. It was kind of a love-hate relationship.” I responded, taking in his face. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that he looked intriguing. His hair was a dark black and looked extremely messy, as if the chaotic life of a pirate had tossed it around. Despite attempting to darken his eyes with eyeliner, his eyes’ color matched the blue of the ocean from my home island. His face was incredibly structured and, like his hook, his jaw was sharp enough to cut. “My father was Peter Pan.” At the name, his eyes lit up.

“So you’re the famous Sofia Pan? Goodness, my father told stories about yours almost every night!” He stepped away from me, almost completely throwing away his intimidating aura and letting a playful smile grow onto his face. “I thought your father placed that one spell on Auradon to make them think he was a hero...what are you doing here?”

“Well, you’re right about that...I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember much. All I know is I wouldn’t be here if Neverland was still intact. I guess you could say I’m on my own now…” Things were silent for a few seconds before he looked to me and gestured to what looked to be some kind of restaurant.

“Maybe not… come with me, Sofia Pan. Let me show you how to take the Isle of the Lost and hook it like it’s nothing!”

“Oh, you can just call me Sofi. If you want.”

“Harry Hook. It’s nice to put a face to your name, Sofi.” And with that, he led me further down the alley into what I could assume was some kind of plaza. We were much closer to the ocean and a lot farther away from the pickpocketing ‘street rats.’ I had started to notice during our walk that most people either respected and followed Harry Hook or were scared of him to the point where they’d do anything he asked whether they wanted to or not. Eventually, we came upon Ursula’s Fish and Chips Shoppe. “Uma is going to absolutely love you! We’ve got girls on the ship, yeah, but if you’re anything like your father...well we’ll just see what happens.” A smirk began to return to the young pirate’s face. Something in my gut began to tell me that this would be a bit more intense than I thought. Was this a good idea?

“The chip shoppe looked just as run down as the rest of the Isle, the only difference being an overall theme of the sea and a tiny television tucked by a long table at the front of the restaurant. Standing by said television was a sight I nearly felt honored to behold. Her skin was smooth and matched the wood of the table she stood behind. Her hair was tightly braided, combining white, black, and a shade of blue that matched the sea close to what I used to call home. She had a bitter glint in her eye but I could tell she wasn’t the type to wallow in her problems. “Harry! It’s about time you came back...where’s the money?” She spoke with certainty, domination, like she knew that she was in charge. In all honesty, the assertiveness in her voice was almost as intriguing as Harry’s accent.

“Right here, my Captain. I have something else for you..a bit of an unexpected guest.” He abruptly pushed me towards her and our eyes met for the first time. After a few seconds, Uma snapped out of a momentary daze and looked to Harry.

“Who is this? Are you trying to set Gil up again? I mean, come on Harry...I don’t think she’d be his type.” She began to eye me up and down, as if she were checking me for anything that could threaten her or her crew.

“No...this isn’t for Gil. Uma, I would like you to meet the wickedly infamous Sofia Pan.” Her eyes widened at the name, was I really that well known on the Isle? “Well...she said that Sofi was fine enough, but I figured you’d want to know her rotten legacy.” With emphasis on the word rotten, I was reminded of where I had come from.

When my father first created Neverland, he had relatively wholesome intentions. He wanted to take boys who felt unloved and unwanted to a place where they could do what they wanted without fear of what others would think. But as he continued to live on the island, Neverland’s magic grew stronger and infected him with madness and the undying desire for power and control. He began forcing his Lost Boys to live on the island, using magic if he had to. He once made a magic Pan Flute that he would take with him across the kingdom and use its song to lure all of the young boys away from their parents and off to Neverland.

By the time I was born, my father was completely corrupted by the magic of the island. His darkness was all I knew. However, it did have its benefits. He taught me to never take no for an answer. He taught me to look in the eyes of authority and say ‘you can’t control me.’ Little did he know that would be his demise…

“So your father had the power to fool an entire kingdom into thinking he was the good guy? I honestly don’t know whether I should be jealous that I wasn’t in your shoes or intrigued by what that could mean for you.” She kept her arms crossed and firm, but I could tell that I wasn’t her victim. Not today, at least.

“If you must know…” I stepped closer to her, leaving Harry in a state of surprise. I guess he must have thought that I’d be hesitant. The poor naive boy, he has no idea just how easily I can charm someone. “It means I’m an expert archer, I know how to reel boys into shape, and I can be..incredibly persuasive.”

“Incredibly persuasive? What does that have to do anything? Your Neverland magic isn’t going to work here.” Harry questioned, trying to act as a barrier between me and his Captain.

“It means she can get anyone to do anything...and we need that here.” Uma grabbed Harry by his hook and gently pushed him to the side. The way the two looked at each other was almost affectionate. It wasn’t my business to question what they had with each other, and something told me that I would soon find out as long as I kept my mouth shut.

Our conversation was quickly interrupted by the sound of the television being switched on. “Hey Uma! Harry! The VKs are on the Auradon News again!” Uma rolled her eyes as she looked towards the television. What I heard next sent shivers down my spine.

“Alright Meeko, this is Nakoma here with the latest update on Auradon’s newest heartthrobs. Our four VKs, Carlos, Jay, Evie and Mal informed us last week of the wicked corruption behind Peter Pan, a hero that we all thought we knew and loved. It turns out, when villains were being sent to the Isle of the Lost, Peter Pan used his Neverland Magic to enchant the entire kingdom of Auradon so he wouldn’t be locked with the rest of the villains. It’s a good thing evil magic doesn’t work on the Isle, because if it weren’t for these core four, we never would have known about it! I’m here with Mal, daughter of Maleficent and current partner of our King Ben, who has just returned from seizing this corrupt island. So Mal, can you describe the events that took place during this battle?” The news anchor gives her microphone to a skinny girl with purple hair, green eyes, and an obviously fake smile.

“Well, the first thing we did was search for Peter Pan himself. He had quite the army built up, it was probably one of the most difficult battles the VKs and I have faced. However, I can happily say that Neverland is completely empty, never to be inhabited again.”

“So did you ever find Peter Pan? And what of the Lost Boys living on the island? Are they all on the Isle now?”

“We couldn’t find Peter Pan anywhere, we can only assume that he fled away. He’s never been one for bravery, after all.” The reporter laughed with Mal before continuing her tangent. “As for the Lost Boys, I can say that they were...properly taken care of.” I could feel the fire rising in my eyes. I remember now, I remember it all.

I could feel Harry and Uma shift their eyes towards me, their crew following suit like a pack of sheep. They killed my Lost Boys...she killed my Lost Boys. Out of pure rage and impulse, I grabbed pieces of the fish guts from some pirate’s tray and chucked it at the television. “You murderous wench! You heartless, cold coward! I swear to all that is wicked if I ever see you I’ll -” Next thing I knew, I felt two pairs of arms around me pulling me down from the table I was standing on. There was Harry, looking at me with almost a sense of concern, and a blonde pirate looking at me like a confused puppy. Uma quickly switched off the television and put her hand on the blonde’s shoulders.

“Gil...I just realized that our new sail hasn’t been set up yet. How about you take the rest of the crew and get that taken care of, huh?” He jumped at the idea and led the rest of the pirates out of the restaurant, leaving me, Uma, and Harry all alone. Did I know what she had planned for me? No. Did I care? Not really. This ‘Mal’ and her friends had slaughtered the only family I had, and I wanted revenge. “Well, I guess now we have a common enemy.” Uma said to Harry, slowly shifting her direction to me.

I tsked and looked to her. “What, she killed your family too? Who does this purple haired traitor think she is? And since when were VKs allowed in Auradon?” Harry rolled his eyes and threw some scrap fish at the screen.

“Since three months ago. King Ben chose four VKs to come live on Auradon for some kind of ‘second chance.’ He wanted to start with the baddest of the bad. Son of Jafar, son of Cruella De Vil, daughter of the Evil Queen...and apparently, the daughter of Maleficent was the most rotten of them all. He whisked those posers off to a better life and left the rest of us in the dirt.” Uma replied, scowling at a poster of the ‘core four’ that had since been vandalized with classic pirate graffiti reading ‘we ride with the tide.’

“What I wouldn’t give to wipe the smiles off their faces…” Harry drifted off, wiping a piece of fish from the television and slipping it into his mouth with his finger.

It was then that an idea had popped into my head. Would it be hard to pull off? Of course it would be...but the victory would be oh so worth it. I sit on the long table behind me and look Uma straight in the eye. “What if we did more than that?”

The two pirates piqued their eyebrows in interest. Clearly I was winning them over. I’m not saying I’m completely surprised but given Uma’s sense of domination I figured it’d be much harder to get her to listen. I guess you learn something every day. “More than wiping smiles off their faces? Explain…”

“Mal and her little group of friends left you and your crew to rot, when you clearly deserve to be on Auradon more than she does. She also had the gall to go after my home and take everything I once held close to me. As you said, we have a common enemy.”

“Yeah...I still don’t know what you’re entailing here.” Harry mumbled, now leaning on his Captain’s shoulder.

“What if she got a taste of her own medicine? She left you out to dry and she tore apart my family...so we take her little group and tear them limb from limb until she feels all alone, just as she deserves. My village pillaging friends...what I’m proposing is an act of karma so sinister that Princess Purple here will wish she was never born.” Harry and Uma’s eyes begin to light up. Harry’s mad smirk returns and Uma mischievously chuckles before going to sit on the table next to me.

“You know Sofi, our crew needs someone like you…”

“Funny you say that, Uma. I was thinking the exact same thing.”

#descendants fic #harry x oc x uma #harry x reader x uma #harry hook x reader #tumblr #uma x reader #uma daughter of ursula #harry hook x uma #descendants x oc #descendants fanfiction #descendants

123 notes · View notes

somelizardperson · 5 years ago

Text

Descendants 3

ok so i finally took the time to properly watch d3 and i made some notes throughout, so here they are:

- i love how in d2 mal tried her best to look like and be what audrey would be bc she thought that’s what ben would’ve wanted, and now audrey is changing and looking more like mal bc that’s what she thinks ben likes

- i like what they’re doing with audrey. she does have a point: even if she kinda behaved like a bitch, she was dating ben, and mal basically just drugged him and everybody disregarded how audrey felt. it was never addressed. ben didn’t even properly break up. with her, he just started declaring his love for mal. also if audrey is the one to finally make mal face the consequences of her actions and actually LEARN then i’m down

- why are all the adults looking at mal when asking what to do?? she ain’t even queen yet, and she’s the least qualified in the room to deal with these issues. they’re both teenagers, but ben has at least been trained and prepared to be king. why are the adults so irresponsible??

- “i dont want to take away your dream” why the fuck is she prioritizing ben’s wishes?? this isn’t about him, it’s about all the innocent kids stuck on the isle!!

- ben is a bit more likable now i guess? he hasn’t done anything overly stupid and annoying yet, so that’s an improvement.

- ok i think the fact that mal now starts prioritizing auradon over the vks is basically down to society’s pressuring her. all of the core 4 were transferred to a more privileged life, but the difference is that mal basically became a public figure, and in order to stop society from scrutinizing her she became what society wanted to see. she had this theme in her outfits and presentation of this rebel, bad girl, she wears a dragon themed dress as an homage to her heritage, but she’s not a rebel. she’s exactly what auradon wants her to be, just repackaged to look super cool and progressive. evie, the girl who likes glamour and fashion, and always wanted this luxurious life is a way better representation of a rebel, since she remembers what life was for her back at the isle and wants to help those who were less lucky. mal can’t ACTUALLY represent the vks properly.

- damn i love celia she’s adorable (and dizzy too)

- i LOVE the parallels between audrey’s upbringings and the vks. it kinda blurs the lines between auradon being “the place for the good guys” and the isle being “for the bad guys”, since evil can still be raised in auradon and the isle could be home to genuinely good people (dizzy, for example). and i like how when they find out that the crown was stolen they immediately assume it was uma, not even considering someone from auradon could’ve done it.

- “so long suckers” DAMN I LOVE HER

- they ride BIKES now what a glow up

- carlos just ditching jane’s birthday is a mood

- audrey ominously singing happy birthday is sponsoring my gayness

- i love celia. did i day that yet?

- i can’t help but want to make carlos’ hair into a mini-ponytail on like the top of his head, you know what i mean?

- what the fuck did they expect when they just parked the bikes without looking after them? of course harry fucking stole them you’re on the isle.

- this entire dungeon thing gives me a disneyland ride vibe, and i dig it.

- hades not actually having the dog would make sense, since why the hell would they give him the giant dog which could potentially cause a ruckus and destroy the place? i mean, they did take away magic, so it would make sense dangerous pets would also go.

- OH FOR FUCKS SAKE OF COURSE HES HER DAD.

- ok but it kinda recontextualizes her desire to close the barrier forever, since it could read as an attempt to cut off her parents, since hades could’ve also tried to take adcantage of her like maleficent.

- “try being married to your mamma” SO THEY WERE ACTUALLY MARRIED??? this shit is like disney’s own crack fan fiction what the fuck

- i love how celia just accidentally walked in on this family fighting session and is just in the background watching the entire thing

- hades has his nailes painted??? valid

- i REALLY hope they won’t make audrey into just a “crazy ex”, bc she has a point!

- ok ben starts getting on my nerves again. “who put a spell on you?” “just give the septor and i’ll forgive you”. he still doesn’t understand that it was his fault for never addressing mal drugging him into a relationship. nor him, nor mal apologized for dismissing audrey like that. bal have some cute moments but the fact that this relationship’s fundamentally based on toxicity is never addressed is bothering me too much to enjoy it.

- what was harry and gil’s shipname again?? i forgot, i’m just gonna call them garry bc that’s fun. anyway i love them.

- UMAAAAAAAAA SHES BACK I LOVE HER

- uma is the real vk activist we need!!

- i love how the pirate crew are all chaotic neutral.

- why did nobody take evie’s gum?? don’t be mean to evie!!

- i just love the pirates. they are my fucking saviors right now.

- there’s so much sexual tension between everyone in his movie and celia is just in the background forced to watch all of it

- tbh the songs aren’t that bad so far, i didn’t like vk day, but i like the energy night falls brings into the scene, and i like this entire scene overall.

- harry’s face when evie complemented his accent is adorable.

- “i love you” “i love you” GAY. the fucking look in evie’s eyes when she said that? GAY.

- gil suggesting to play the icebreaker just to complement jay had gay energy

- celia genuinely caring about the twins and dizzy is simultaneously adorable and also breaks my heart

- “well we haven’t actually used the l word yet” doug and evie are better off breaken up. and. by that i mean only evie, i don’t give a shit about doug.

- is she actually singing a song about doug? oh my fucking god.

- JUST FUCKING BREAK UP. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT DOUG. EVIE DESERVES BETTER.

- does disney actually think anybody gives a shit about doug?

- HE FUCKING WOKE UP

- i was waiting for him to not wake up and evie thinking that he doesn’t love her and going on about how sad she is only to then realize she is the one who doesn’t love him. like, how cool would it be for disney to leave one of their female leads to be single at the end of a movie? instead of having her realize she’s in love with him and this is true love her going through a realization that she doesn’t love him and that it’s ok? her realizing she doesn’t have to constantly be trying to look for her true love and take things slow? but no, we have to make her first proper relationship her last.

- i’m still convinced janelos is mlm/wlw solidarity

- wh- why is harry flirting with jane? wha- is this a ship now? is harry/jane a ship? hane? jarry? what the fuck?

- celia and uma eating cake together is adorable

- both uma and celia are adorable

- just generally uma eating cake is adorable

- i’m at the point where mal is all alone now, and i’m glad the theories that the core 4 is gonna divide into two “teams” based on the trailers didn’t turn out to be true. mal is probably the only one who didn’t actually change her ways as a villain but just switched sides. she’s still selfish at the core, and i like that they’re singling her out to really challenge her.

-on that note it could actually be completely fucked over and not addressed again but oh well. i’ll have to wait and see.

- i like her taking responsibility. yes, mal had a hard childhood, but she had to now put in the work to be a better person. she has a supportive environment which are her friends, so now she just has to put in some effort.

- dizzy saying “same” like that saved my life

- mal!! finally!! apologizing!! to audrey!! yes!!

- mal!! admitting!! that her own idea!! was wrong!! yes!!

- yes i approve this plan let’s abolish borders too

- UMA JUST FUCKING REJECTING HARRY DMFNSKFNSN

- ok so what’s the harry and audrey ship name? haudrey? audarry? haurrey?

I honestly don’t think this was a bad ending to the trilogy. I have mixed feelings about the core 4 going back to see their parents in the end, but it was overall an enjoyable experience, and probably my favorite of the 3. I’m gonna write some more coherent thoughts on it later, since this post is already too long djdjdsks

feel free to respond to this post and start a discussion

#descendants 3 #descendants #disney descendants #my thoughts #opinion

55 notes · View notes

queeruma · 5 years ago

Text

Okay, so an anon sent me this ask:

Can I ask if canon materials say anything about Uma and Ursula’s relationship? Do you have hcs about it? I never read the third Descendant book so I don’t know much about her

and I wrote up this post, posted it, immediately realised that tumblr had fucked up all the formatting, deleted it, and then realised that by deleting it I’d also deleted the ask. I’m sorry anon, my brain is not functioning properly, but here’s my answer, hopefully formatted correctly this time:

Hi anon! So I thought I could answer this in like 10 minutes, and then it turned out that I have a Lot of thoughts about Uma and Ursula’s relationship, and here we are almost two days later (this post kind of just turns into Uma hcs at the end sorry about that)

Yes, between the movie, Rise, and Uma's Wicked Book, there's actually quite a lot of information about Uma and her mother.

Under a cut because this got long:

Within the actual text: Uma's relationship with her mother is… complicated, to say the least.

On the one hand, Ursula is about as far from a loving, caring mother as one can get. She has been forcing Uma to work for her, without pay, since Uma was 'so little she could barely see about the counter'. She is verbally abusive, berating Uma and humiliating her over her losses to Mal, and we see in the film that she's not above harming Uma physically either. And Uma seems certain when she's speaking to Ben that her mother does not care for her at all.

"All those days spent working at Ma’s restaurant, serving up gruel and scrubbing the floors, and I’ve never gotten paid a coin.” - UWB “Uma had worked at the Fish and Chips Shoppe her entire life, from when she was so little she could barely see above the counter, until she was old enough to wear an apron, carry a tray, and take an order.” - ROTIOTL “Uma was glad to have the place to herself. If Ursula were around, she would only be raging and complaining about how she had been saddled with such an ungrateful and useless daughter. Ursula never ceased to remind Uma how often she’d lost to Mal. When she’d learned Mal had been chosen to go to Auradon, Ursula flipped her tentacles. Uma never heard the end of it.” - ROTIOTL “Things I wouldn’t miss about the Isle: (...) Ma yelling at me” - UWB “My mom doesn’t care about me either. Well, not unless she needs someone for the night shift.” - D2

On the other hand, we see a certain level of respect between the two of them. Uma seems to be proud of her mother's strength, and is very comfortable showing her heritage as 'daughter of the sea witch'. Despite her mother's treatment of her, we never see Uma being afraid of her mother (contrast with the core four in the first movie, who definitely are). Uma remembers her mother taking her to Hook's inlet to watch the crocodile wrestling, and (repeatedly) telling her the story of her defeat at Eric and Ariel's hands. She states that her mother taught her about the importance of negotiation. Ursula, lamenting over her loss in her final battle, tells Uma that they would be 'Queens of the Seas' if she'd won. Given that unlike most of the villains, Ursula doesn't seem to be trying to manipulate Uma into anything in particular, I take this to mean that Ursula would have given her daughter what she felt was her due.

And, most importantly, Ursula has one single piece of her nautilus necklace left when she's on the Isle, and she gives it to Uma when Uma is a small child. Uma likes to hold it when she's feeling anxious. There's clearly more than just antagonism between them.

‘Uma was special: she was the sea witch’s daughter, a force to be reckoned with!’ - ROTIOTL 'The gold was warm against her skin, and she felt a faint echo of its former power. It had the sense and shape of her mother's wrath.' - ROTIOTL “No, last I saw her was on the news when she was blasting you with her magic!” Ursula laughed. “Good for her!” - EFTIOTL “That’s my mom! At least Maleficent recognised her power.” - MSB ‘“Mama was really something, wasn’t she? Back then?” said Uma.’ - ROTIOTL “Ma used to take me down to Hook’s Inlet when I was a kid, and we’d bet on the crocodile-wrestling matches there.” - UWB 'She recalled her mother telling her about that final battle (…) Prince Eric had taken the wheel and rammed his ship right into her heart (…) Uma always held her breath at that part of the story, wondering how it was that her mother had survived such a battle. Because even though she'd lost, she'd survived. Prince Eric hadn't destroyed her completely.' - ROTIOTL ‘Her mother had taught her about the power of negotiation, or as she’d described it, talking someone out of their greatest treasures and giving nothing of value in return.’ - ROTIOTL 'Queens of the seas, Ursula would lament. We would be queens of the seas if not for that awful Triton and that terrible Beast.' - ROTIOTL ‘(...) the locket she wore around her neck. Inside was a tiny piece of junk that her mother had given her as a child. “It’s all I have left,” Ursula had said at the time. Uma never understood why a sliver of metal mattered so much, but she liked holding it when she was anxious.’ - ROTIOTL

I think Uma's outfits also say a lot about her relationship with her mother. The core four pretty much exclusively wear their parent's colours, even after they've rejected them. We already know that colour means a lot in these movies, considering the thought they put into the shades of purple in Mal's hair and clothes in D1. Every VK either wears their parent's colours - Harry, Celia and the core four - or they don't resemble their families at all - Gil and Dizzy.

Uma's purple undertone, her hair and skirt resembling octopus arms, and the mesh undershirt with holes that mimics octopus suckers are all there to reflect her status as Ursula's daughter. She's proud of her heritage - but there's probably a practical reason as well: there's an element of protection in reminding people of her mother.

However, I think it's telling that her main aesthetic and colour are all her own. The pirate hat, the tough leather jacket complete with epaulets, the chunky belts, her sword, and the overall teal theme, all make it very clear that Uma is her own person, and no one who looks at her is going to forget it. She's not going to ride by on her mother's reputation all her life - people will know her name, not just her parentage.

Her symbol also demonstrates this mix of nature and nurture. Mal, Evie, Carlos, Jay, Harry, and Gil all have symbols that refer directly to their parents (Gil signs off UWB with a bow and arrow, presumably a reference to his father's skill at hunting). In contrast, the skull and crossbones - crossbones in this case being a trident and sword - with a wave in one cheek, an eyepatch, and octopus arms below it is 'the unofficial symbol of Uma, daughter of Ursula - pirate queen'.

As far as headcanons are concerned, I can’t really list them? I just have a kind of general ‘this is how Ursula affected the way Uma’s life went’ hc:

I think all of Uma’s better memories of her mother are from her very early childhood. By the time Uma and Mal stop being friends, Ursula has already pretty much checked out of everything; I don’t think she ever tries to manipulate Uma in the way Maleficent and the other villains do their children. She leaves the work in the shoppe to Uma and retreats into her Auradon soap operas. Uma is used to seeing other parents on the Isle put effort into their relationships with their children (that is never actually a Good Thing but baby Uma doesn’t know what decent parenting is) and she wonders if Ursula’s lack of manipulation is her mother neglecting her because she sees her as worthless.

So Uma kind of decides that she’s going to be as independent as possible, because if she makes her distance from her mother her choice, she doesn’t have to confront the possibility that Ursula is neglecting her because Uma isn’t good enough for her. And because I loathe the canon Uma and Mal backstory with the passion of an anti-vax parent for essential oils, here’s my take on it (credit for the idea that Maleficent encouraged Mal to end their friendship goes to @edream93 in her wonderful fic ‘We’ll Light the Fuse’ - it partly inspired this hc):

Uma and Mal were good friends from a very young age, and there was some genuine affection and trust between them, which Maleficent obviously did not approve of at all.

She allowed it for a while because they did get into a lot of trouble together, but as Uma drifted further away from her mother, she became concerned about Uma’s influence on Mal.

See, Uma might have started out distancing herself from her mother to protect her own feelings, but she also actually began to care less about her mother’s opinion of her.

Maleficent, who wanted Mal firmly under her control, knew that if the two girls stayed friends, Uma might encourage Mal to question her mother’s authority.

And if there’s one person on the Isle talented at subtlety and manipulation, it’s Maleficent. Mal and Uma’s friendship was doomed to end the second Maleficent decided she wanted it to.

I also think Ursula’s F- parenting plays into Uma’s feelings about Auradon. Uma is genuinely right about the Isle - it is unfair and morally abhorrent that the children of villains are fated to live in a ‘fate worse than death’ for the crime of being born to the wrong people. She and the other descendants of villains unquestionably do not deserve to be there.

But Uma’s desire for freedom and revenge isn’t just based on her rational disapproval of the Isle. It comes from a huge amount of anger and pain, and it’s admirable that she manages to use those negative feelings (along with her love for and loyalty to her crew) to motivate herself. She is equally furious and terrified - Auradon abandoned her, Mal abandoned her, her own MOTHER abandoned her - and either she didn’t deserve it, in which case she has to be angry at basically the whole world, or she did, in which case...

yeah, she tries not to think about that.

Luckily, between her friendship with Harry and Gil and the loyalty and respect she gets from her crew, more often than not she’s able to believe that she deserved better she deserves so much better she deserves the whole fuCKING WORLD.

Ultimately, Uma is a very practical person, and any feelings she has about her mother, positive or negative, will not stop her from getting off the Isle and going after what she wants - whatever that ends up being. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the octopus-inspired elements and purple undertones of her D2 look are gone in D3.

#h speaks #please let it have worked this time #uma #uma daughter of ursula #ursula #im sorry it's so rambly and incoherent #my brain does not know the meaning of the word concise #but thank you for the question anon!!!#i hadn't realised i had so many feelings about uma and ursula until now

80 notes · View notes

c0ffeebee · 5 years ago

Note

harlos + 19 & 42

Summer Camp AU + The Big Damn Kiss

finally gotten to this ask and finally got an idea, it has nothing to do with d3 plot, so don’t worry

ok so it won’t be no magic modern world au, it would still be in the descendants universe and it would be like this cliche thing with 5 times they almost kiss and one time they really did it

when sea 3 comes to auradon it’s not the end of the senior year for core 4, they don’t graduate, they have another year left in school, so ben invites all of the vk’s to spent summer with him and his family in the palace

adam and belle basically go what the fuck and “oh no, not all summer, at least send them to summer camp for a month” and ben is like “yeah ok fine i’m going with them tho, i’m the king i can do what i want, i’m a kid also and i need a vacation, dad, you’re my regent, good luck to you all”

so all of them are in this camp, and the relationships between the most of them are pretty chill, but harry and carlos still have this strange tension and carlos is sometimes visibly annoyed by harry and etc. they tease each other constantly and not in a friendly way, not really

one time they all sit in boys’ cabin playing games like spin the bottle and truth or dare, and when carlos spins the bottle it actually points at harry and everyone in the room just goes “oh hell no”, but before anything happens some counselor walks in on this whole thing and like “the hell you doing here in the middle of the night, to your cabins, now”, and when they all leave carlos is sort of can’t stop thinking to himself that for a moment there he was actually ready to do it and that’s just weird

and then it’s something like:

they fighting during the sword practice and one of them pins the other to the ground and it’s somehow hot and ohmygod-so-awkward at the same time, and their faces are too close and carlos catches himself staring at harry’s lips and just goes “ok that’s getting too wierd now” and he just backs away like he got burned

then they (to annoyance of both) get paired up in some survival-themed activities like for instance they are both on a canoe and with constant fighting they manage to tipped it over and carlos can’t swim but is not wearing a vest for some reason, so harry basically saves him and is this || close to perform cpr when carlos wakes up coughing water and is all like, dude, why were you so close, were you just trying to kiss me, what the hell, and harry is too angry to even answer

then one night they are sitting by the fire and carlos thanks harry for saving his life and everything and harry makes it all look like no big deal, they actually talk a lot that night calmly and without the usual snarky comments and at some point it seems like they might actually kiss, but then ben, jay and gil join them and yeah, the moment is totally ruined

the next time harry is actually catches carlos and basically snatches him away to somewhere private “to talk”, because uma had a deep conversation with him about how he is being obvious about his crush on carlos and how it’s painfull to watch, so he’s basically like “ok now or never”, and his guess would be never because right at the moment he wants to lean in, he hears dude’s voice with the “what are you guys doing here, everyone’s waiting for you by the river” or smth so yeah that fails too

finally harry, being his wonderful self, managed to piss off snow white’s daughter (with good intentions, she was being a bitch to evie) and as a revenge she poisons him with some apple pie (cause she knows all about it thanks to evie’s mom), so harry is unconscious and the only question is how to break the spell, uma’s and mal’s magic don’t work and evie goes like “we need a true love kiss”, everyone is looking at uma waiting for her to do something about it and she goes “fine i will smooch this idiot, but we are FRIENDS, and dammit why is this stupid ‘true love’ nonsense only counts when it’s romantic love anyway??”, so she tries and no responce, and then she just looks at carlos and goes “why don’t you try it?“

carlos is embarrassed to say the least, and he goes wtf why me and everyone just looks soooo tired of his bullshit and uma goes “it’s either that or he may sleep forever, i don’t see people lining up, he’s not exactly the most lovable person”

carlos asks for some privacy ofc, but all he gets is just everyone turning their backs and looking away, and it’s still happening during lunch time in a big camp full of people with harry passed out on the grass and oh god how carlos regrets not kissing him that night they played spin the bottle, but he ends up kissing harry anyway, and of course as soon as he wakes up he tugs carlos closer for another kiss and it’s a lot more intense than carlos planned, but he’s not complaining until he realises their friends are sill here and the whole thing is too public and he pulls away while everyone basically laughing at them and saying something like “took you long enough”

i know the answer is long and it sounds cheesy, but here it is anyway)

Send me two (2) tropes from the list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

#bee answers #harlos

40 notes · View notes

runaways-withme · 5 years ago

Text

My Descendants 3 beef

-Audrey gets her bad bitch villain song but shes basically just staying in the castle n giving spells there;s not enough physical fighting. D2 had Uma andm Mal head to head dragon vs octopus and that slapped. Granted she not used to being an actual villain who fights up to that point she was just a mean high school girl who had reasons for being mean, but the powers like acc took her to be really really evil so why wldn’t she actually be there physically wouldn’t she have like the confidence to not just hide n cast spells

-no offense I didn’t like the songs that much I don’t really hate any but some songs I didn’t get the point of or I just didn't love the songs in general. It was only fun to watch in the movie to see the characters being funny rather than ..being amazing songs. Maybe my least favorite soundtrack of the 3 movies. Or maybe I just wanted more hiphop songs like D2. But the songs still weren’t so good lmao.

-I thought Ben in the promos turned into a beast as like he was so angry with whatever is happening n tried to help out in fighting. I never thought it would be just a random ass spell Audrey put on him. that held no purpose but Ben gaining a beard lol

-they kinda foreshadowed Chad wanting to be king and be an evil man with power in the 2nd movie with his whole king get-up so having him just be a lackey was another missed opportunity but ig they didn’t go with it bc he wld need a villain song n maybe the guy doesn’t sing

- D2 was a let down in that the disney executives saw that everyone wants everyone to be gay so they paired everyone together forcefully and annoying making it seem that it was all about them but bc of that I wasn’t expecting much. That being said I actually loved Mal and Ben’s relationship in the first movie they were cute in chessy but seemed super genuine at the same time. D2 and D3 went overkill in trying to make them an iconic couple and I can’t help but think they did that to try to make them the new troy n gabriella which is... also I literally hate Doug n Evie they just seem like r good pals like Evie is settling n making them have the true loves kiss bc that’s a big theme.. big no. The true loves kiss would’ve made mores sense with Carlos and Jane techinically bc they are both awkward and anxious in the relationship While Evie and Doug literally just look sad n r just comparing themselves to Bal.

I’m okay with Jane and Carlos even tho it is’;t ideal like they make sense technically. n also I knew Harry and Audrey was gonna end up together bc i saw spoilers which broke my heart but I was hoping like there wld be an actual reason like maybe Uma and Harry broke up bc Uma wants to be independent or smth and he wld become close friends with Audrey? Harry n Uma were as good and iconic as a pair for 99% of the movie and he just randomly ended up with Audrey?? whom he only physically met for the ending of the movie???? I wouldn’t be as upset if they like gave a reason and had a real relationship.

-Audrey was abusive to Chad.. I know she had the magic that made her too powerful but but was very shocking to see. Chad is mean but he always is nice to Audrey n became more likable in d2 and d3 in general where he was more of the comic relief and cares abt audrey so it was even more sad to see him hurt. I clocked it out to bad writing tbh bc I don’t think Audrey is acc a bad person. Also, the franchise is abt abused kids who deserve love so why r they suddenly having chad be abused for comedy n by his own friend?

-OOC Mal...she didn’t even hesitate to say yes to the proposal..I get that she’s in love but like D2 was abt how she couldn’t handle the pressure .. obv her not being able to handle the pressure was part of the conflict of this movie but why did she even say yes so easily n so happily. Also Mal in general was so fake for not caring abt the isle kids n then lying to her 3 best friends, making Evie think she acc stood up for them n didn’t have any say in not taking more VKs

-Where is my girl Lonnie? After I realized through a 3rd of a movie that she’s not going to be part of the main plot I was at least expecting someone mentioning she was somewhere else like they did with Audrey in D2 but they didn’t so I thought maybe we would just see her as ppl were awaken after the sleeping spell was gone or at least in a crowd shot at the ending..

-This movie also suffered from having too many characters n having less time for the actual core four but I was kinda already expecting that but it doesn’t make it super excusable.

-I was excited to see Dr. Facilier and Mr. Smee’s kids but Dr. is only there in the beginning, and the kids seemed like they were gonna have a big part being 2/4 of the new batch of VKs but they didn’t which was unfortunate. I wanted to see more of big bro Jay n Carlos taking care of them. I like how when Jay and Carlos went in the limo they were so excitable but these kids were shy n I was hoping J and C would help them get out of their shell and become less scared.

-I guess I didn’t hate Hades role in the movie but I wish he was there more

-is maleficent still a lizard? the core four go back the isle but for why? D2: Evie and Carlos to Mal why tf would we want to go back to being abused> D3: anyway..forget I said that

Also are their parents the only ones stuck there?? are they stuck there bc of the magic or are there prisons within the isle n that’s why they didn't run out when the barrier was broken?

-Mals statement that evil ppl aren’t necessarily only from the isle and the people of Auradon aren’t automatically good is very true and in a general morally Disney sense that’s a good enough reason to let down the barrier but Hon.. the implications.. like obv the villains off the island can help with the positive morale esp the kids and adults who aren’t even evil but aren’t royals either like Mr. Smee and have them not live in a depressing place with horrible conditions. Though like it’s not gonna stop the parents from abusing the kids since Audrey lived in Auradon her who life and her grandma emotional abuses her. Also, who’s to say the villains aren’t going to still be angry they were stuck in the isle so long.

#D3 spoilers #i loved the movie bc I got to see my favs characters but obv it's very flawed but I did have fun #but also I only watched it once so maybe some stuff will clear up after I watch it a million times more

15 notes · View notes

thatmpdblog · 6 years ago

Text

Forget Me Not

“We’re all trying to forget someone.”

Word count: 2,216

The music had been loud, deafening almost, but it still would never be enough to drown out your own thoughts. You sat off in the distance, away from the crowd of silhouettes moving against each other under the flashing strobe lights. Scantily clad bodies pulsing against one another with more alcohol than modesty in their system. Everyone just wanted to have a good time.

And that’s what you were to him. Just a good time.

A year ago when you found yourself at this very same place. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or the way his lips formed those persuasive compliments all night long. Something about him drew you in and made you feel like you were the only one in the world to him. You fell for him hard.

And you regretted it deeply.

A simple exchange of numbers led to frequent meet-ups. These turned to daytime dates, until finally, you both made it official. He became your everything. Your heart was completely open to him. He treated you like his queen. Weeks gave way to months, and it was steadily approaching your anniversary. A great milestone. A surprise visit quickly turned sour that day. You were expecting him to be alone, certainly not the way you found him. A queen, you thought you were. It was only then you realized you were only a queen in the deck of cards of the game he played. Never the only one.

Now here you were tonight, trying to erase the memory where it all began. You scoffed aloud, taking a sip from the fluorescent drink you’d ordered. The burn going down your throat still nothing compared to the burn that still remained in your heart. People could be so cruel.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” You heard a voice that wasn’t your own ring through your mind. Your head snapped up, glancing around and finding no one in your immediate vicinity.

“What the hell?” You set your glass down on the table in front of you. “No way I’m already buzzed off just one drink.”

“Nah, you’re good. Don’t worry.” the voice answered with a light chuckle.

“Okay what the hell is going on?” you questioned to the second voice in your head.

“I’m trying to figure that out myself to be honest. I always thought this was a myth.”

“What, telepathy?”

“People say when you find your soulmate, you can hear their thoughts. Yours have been pretty loud since I laid eyes on you tonight.”

“Soulmate? Right, like I’ll believe that crap.” you scoffed. This had to be some kind of joke. Worst case scenario, something in your drink.

“You weren’t drugged sweetheart. I’ve been paying attention too. Look up to the V.I.P balcony.” You scanned past the crowd, up to the small semicircular balcony portion of the club which sat between two short flights of stairs connecting both floors. Velvet ropes and security guards sealed off both ends. Inside, was a very royal themed couch and a small table holding a whisky glass and an ash tray. A man sat on the floral cushions, isolated from everyone else. His shirt was partially open, one leg crossed lazily over the other and a cigar in one hand. He was looking directly at you, from what you could tell at least.

“Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors, and at night?” you questioned. He chuckled visibly.

“Why don’t you come join me and we could continue this conversation verbally?”

You shrugged, downing the rest of your drink. You gathered yourself, rising to your feet and making your way over to the V.I.P section. Short heels clicked inaudibly against the tile staircase. As you approached, you noticed the security guard glance back at the handsome stranger who gave him a curt nod. The guard opened the velvet rope and stepped aside to let you in. You breathed an internal sigh of relief, to which the man inside snickered into the back of his hand.

“Don't worry, he wouldn't hurt you.” came the mental voice again. You took a seat on the soft couch next to the only other occupant.

“Hello soulmate.” he smirked, turning his body towards you.

“Hey,” you answered. He took your hand and placed a soft kiss to the back of your palm.

“You're even more beautiful up close. My name's Jay.” he grinned.

“Y/N.” you replied.

“Y/N...” he repeated. “So, what brings you back to Heartbreak Hotel?”

“Just trying to start a clean slate, you know?” you answered. He removed his shades, placing them on the table next to his half empty glass.

“We're all trying to forget someone.” he said, pulling the cigar to his lips and taking in a long draw. He exhaled, the white threads of smoke leaving his mouth and dancing between the two of you. He placed the rest of the cigar in the ashtray, dark eyes returning to you.

You took in the slender frame of his face. Smooth skin dipped into sharp collarbones and the beginning of a toned, tattooed chest. His hair was trimmed to an undercut, marked and styled up in slick, dark curls. The light bounced off the small diamond stud piercing on his nose. No doubt, this man was gorgeous. A smile broke out onto his face, turning into a short laugh.

“You flatter me, sweetheart.” he said, reminding you that he could still hear your thoughts loud and clear. You looked down and fiddled with your fingers, with a shy laugh.

“Sorry, I’m still getting used to this.” Your head shot up as realization settled on you. “Hey, wait a minute. You know my story now but I don’t know yours.” you said. He leaned an arm against the back of the couch.

“What do you wanna know, sweetheart?” he grinned. His smile made you relax into your seat a bit more. You weren’t completely vulnerable with him, but you at least felt comfortable.

“What’s your deal? How come my apparently handsome soulmate isn’t pulling home the next best skirt on the dance floor?” you teased. He chuckled, turning back to the security guard behind him and snapping his fingers. The guard nodded, and began making his way down the staircase. Jay turned back to you.

“You see, Y/N, just like you, I know what it’s like to be fucked over.” he said. He glanced off to the crowd of clubbers below the platform. “It’s happened one too many times. Eventually you start to feel like you’re ready to give up on love.” Your heart clenched at his words. You knew how it felt, all too well.

The security guard returned with a bottle of champagne and two glasses, setting them down on the table before you both, then returning to his post. Jay reached for the bottle, opening it with ease and pouring the bubbly, golden liquid into both glasses. He handed one to you, holding up his own with a small, but hopeful smile.

“Cheers, soulmate.” he said. You clinked glasses and sent the crisp, sweet drink past your lips. Your gazes returned to each other and your eyes locked. A dense energy danced between the two of you, sealing you off from the rest of the world and suffocating you in the most euphoric way. You searched each other’s eyes, your minds simultaneously saying the words neither of your lips could form.

“Please don't break my heart again.”

Your skin burned with desire. Your bodies were pulled flush against each other. Your tongues linked sloppily as Jay's tattooed hands roamed your body. He tasted like a bittersweet combination of champagne and tobacco. The scent of his cologne still lingered on him even with both of your clothes long gone. Immense passion radiated from you both as you maneuvered haphazardly through his bedroom.

He guided you back until you felt the bed against the back of your legs. His hands gripped your waist, easing you onto the bed. Your legs opened to accommodate him fitting between your thighs. He rolled his hips against your center, prompting a muffled moan to escape you. He chuckled against your lips, pulling the bottom flesh between his teeth before working his way down your body. He kissed and marked his way across your skin, down your neck, across your chest and along your abdomen.

“So beautiful,” he murmured against your tender flesh. “and all mine.”

“Yes, all yours.” you breathed. Your chest rose and fell as his head slowly traveled lower down your body. He lifted your legs to drape them over his shoulders. His smoldering gaze trailed up your body to meet your own eyes before he flattened his tongue against your core. Your head fell back into to plush sheets, staggered breaths leaving your lips as they hung open. Jay's fingers dug into your thighs to keep them steady while he worked his tongue on you.

The muscle slid along your folds, dipping into you and lapping at your essence. His lips wrapped skillfully around your clit, sucking lightly on the sensitive bud. Your hips bucked against him, wordlessly begging him not to stop. He swirled his tongue in abstract patterns against you. Your pulse picked up, resonating through your body as your shaking fingers gripped into the sheets beneath you. His tongue pressed into you, drawing out your pleasure filled cries as your body quaked, releasing onto his face. He licked at you gently as he coaxed you down from your high.

You lay back, chest heaving as you tried to steady your breathing once more. Jay crawled over your body and placed a smooth kiss to your lips. The taste of you lingered on him. He pulled away to bite his lip and admire you for a moment.

“You’re even more beautiful when you come undone, babygirl.” he smirked. You could feel his tip probing at your entrance, aching for you. Jay looked to your eyes for confirmation.

“You ready?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. He pushed into you, laying his body flush against your own. Your arms tightened around him, wanting to feel him as close as possible. He stretched you out slowly, lips capturing yours once more and muffling your incoherent moans.

His arms shifted beside you, so that he could cup your face in his hands. He held you gently, but firmly, as if to protect you, but almost afraid that you would disappear if he let go. You returned that same emotion through your hold around his body. His hips rolled in and out of you at a steady pace as you both savoured each other through twisting tongues.

Beads of sweat glistened off your bodies as skin met skin repeatedly. He filled you completely, reaching the deepest parts of your core as the passion consumed you both. The sheets were a tangled beneath you. Mumbled cries rang against wet muscles in the dimly lit room. Your hearts raced with each other, a dense climax building up within your cores. Your muscles clenched around Jay, bringing him to follow soon after you.

You rolled over in the soft duvet, the thick sheets wrapping around you like the warm embrace of a lover. Your eyes slowly peeled open. Gentle light emanated from the window, bringing your attention to a small folded note atop a soft folded material placed on the bedside table. Your hand emerged from your bundle of comfort, to reach for the card so you could read the message inside.

Put on this robe and meet me downstairs for breakfast, beautiful. -J

A blushing smile spread across your face, like a high school girl thinking of her crush. You held the note to your heart, sighing happily before pulling yourself out of his bed. As instructed, you slipped on the robe he had left you. It felt even softer than the sheets. You ran your hands along the fabric, then pulled the loose ropes around your waist. Gently patting down your hair to make it look as neat as possible at the time, you made your way out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen, following your vague memory of the house layout from last night.

You found Jay sitting at the table, coffee mug pressed to his lips while scrolling idly through his phone with the other hand. He wore a robe identical to the one he had left for you. Before him, the table was laden with a bright assortment of breakfast items, more than enough for just two people. You gasped softly, prompting him to look up at you. His tousled locks falling loosely over his forehead.

“Did you make all this?” you asked, still taking in the mere sight. Your own hunger awakened with a low rumble within your stomach.

“Amazing how many recipes you can find on Google, huh?” he answered with a chuckle. He placed his mug and phone down and rose from his seat. Making his way over to you, his hands cupped your face as he leaned in and placed a delicate kiss to your lips. He pulled back, holding your focus as his thumbs trailed back and forth tenderly against your cheeks, his eyes looking even softer under the morning light.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” you replied with a smile.

161 notes · View notes

leelee10898 · 6 years ago

Text

Thing's go bump in the night.

@speedyoperarascalparty requested Leo & Aria as Hugh Hefner & a playboy bunny. I hope this does it justice.. Nsfw & crack comedy lol. 🎃

"you almost ready?" Aria called out to Leo, who was still in their bathroom. "Go ahead down, I am still in the shower. I will be down in a little bit." He called back. It was their turn to host the annual Halloween party and Aria was excited. Cordonians did not celebrate Halloween as full scale as American's did, so when Ellie and Aria came along, they brought new traditions to not only their gang, but the entire country.

They decided that each couple do a theme, this year Aria and Leo were going as Hugh Heffner and a Playboy bunny. Aria slipped on her stilettos, and double checked herself in the mirror. She pinned her hair up in curls. He make up done in dark tones, and a bright red lip. She gave her thigh high stockings, with a small red bow on the back a quick tug and took for their party.

They transformed the entire lower half of their Valtorian Estate into a haunted scene. Fog, cobwebs, bats. Black drapes covered the walls. A haunted house was bulit in the grand ballroom, they hired actors to walk around and scare their guest. A buffet lay spread out before them, all Halloween inspired foods. Even the staff were in costume, all scary characters of course.

Aria walk around taking the entire sight in. Her home was completely transformed into the spookiest scene she ever laid eyes on. She helped plan every detail, but the way it came together blew her mind.

The guest mingled, a few screams and laughs echoing the halls, she couldn't help but smile. "Aria, this is amazing. " Liam greeted her. "Thank you, you look great as a vampire."

"Damn girl, Sexy Heff looks good on you. Even I may be into you." Ellie giggled as she wrapped her in a hug. "Little blossom, this place is amazing. I can't wait to go in the haunted house but I am a little scared." Maxwell danced in place. "Jay-z and beyonce huh?" Aria gigled at Maxwell. "Rhys you did good." Olivia and Drake approached them dressed and bonnie and clyde. "Olivia how are you feeling?" Aria asked a very pregnant Olivia. "If one of these fools tries to scare me, I can't promise I won't cut them." She huffed. "Liv we talked about the knives." Drake shot a warning look at his fiance.

"Where is Leo?" Liam asked, noticing his brother was no where in sight. "Ahhh guys?" Maxwell pointed to the stairs.

There was Leo ascending the grand staircase. He wore a powder pink body suit, fishnet stockings, and heels. Bunny ears on top of his head, complete with a fuzzy bunny tail on his ass. The group stood there, mouths agape at the sight. He switched his hips as he flawlessly as he shashayed across the ballroom. "Oh. My. God." Liam muttered. "It looks like hes trying to smuggle a banana and two plums." Maxwell squeeled. "If one of his balls pop out, im done." Drake shook his head.

"What is everyone staring at?" Leo approached the group grinning. "I look hot dont I?" He boasted, even dressed as a woman the man was cocky. "You look... something. " Olivia laughed.

They had planned to swap roles, but the finished result was more then Aria expected. She quickly stepped into the role as Hugh, walking up to Leo, slapping his bare ass, making him jump. "If you'll excuse us, I need to parade my sexy bunny around." Aria adjusted her sailor hat and they walked off, mingling with the guest.

As the night went on the party raged. Alcohol flowing made everyone loosen up. Several people tried grabbing Leo's ass making him feel like a piece if man meat.

"So love, I have been dying to know. what do you have on under that robe?" Leo whispered into her ear? A devilish smile played on her lips. " I could tell you, or, you could come find out." She pulled him into a searing kiss. He grabbed her hand pulling her into the haunted house. Most of the guest had already been in, all except Maxwell, he was a little to scared. The actors had since gone on break, so it was just them.

Aria tossed him into a chair, standing in front of him. Leo reached for the tie of the crushed velvet robe and growled in satisfaction at his findings. His hands cupped and squeezed her bare breast, as his mouth attached to one of her pink buds. He rolled his tongue and flicked forming stiff peaks on both as his hands ghosted down her sides. He slipped a hand into her boy shorts parting her folds, he develed two fingers into her wet heat, curling and pumping them in and out. She threw her head back at the sensation.

"Take this shit off." She demanded as Leo stood, quickly disrobing his bunny get up. She pushed him back down onto the chair, dropping to her knees. She took his hard length into her stroking up and down. She ran her tongue up his shaft and around the head, lapping up the trickle of pre cum that dripped out. She slowly lowered her mouth onto him, teasing him, inching her lips farther and farther down before she took him entirely into her mouth. She gaged as his long thick cock hit the back of her throat. "Oh fuck." He yelled. Her stiffled moan vibrating his cock made him grab her head, guiding it back and forth. He felt his balls tighten, he was close to his release. The grip on her head told her he was close. She released his cock with a pop. A whimper escaped his lips.

She stood up and Leo grabbed her waist. Pulling her onto him. His strong arms cupped her ass as he lifted her to his face. Yanking off her panties with his teeth. His mouth quickly attatching to her wet pussy. " Leo, im gonna fall." She gasped. "You can fall back baby, I got you." He assured her. She let her body fall back against his chest as he held her pussy to his face and ate her like a watermelon slice.

His soft tongue swirled around her sensitive bud, sending jolts of electricity through her body. He continued licking and sucking, her legs shook, the pleasure intense as she felt herself coming undone. "Fuck Leo, oh my god yes." She screamed as her jucies flood his mouth. He took every once of her swwet nectar. He lowered her hips down, she straddled herseld on him.

"We're not done yet my sexy bunny. I'm gonna ride you til you explode." She lowered herself onto his thick length, rotating and swiveling her hips. Eliciting a deep throaty moan from him. She picked up the pace, digging her nails into his shoulders as she bounced up and down on his rock hard cock. "Fuck, yes,Leo." She moaned as she felt the fire building deep withing her core.

The chair scooting back, hitting up against the walls of the make shift house. She came down harder and harder on his dick. "Fuck baby. Ride my cock." He moaned. That did it she felt her release coming as waves of pleasure pulsed throughout her body. The small house shaking around them. "fuck, oh, oh yes yes yes, fuck oh my fucking god." She screamed as came completely undone. Leo grunted out as he found his own release. Aria collapsing against his chest.

They both heard a loud scream followed by "little petunia, help me." They looked at each other and bust into a fit of giggles. "Well, looks like we scared Maxwell shitless. Happy Halloween love." Leo kissed her. "Happy Halloween." She grinned.

Tagging: @bobasheebaby @scarlettedragon @annekebbphotography @speedyoperarascalparty @greyeyedsmile14 @stopforamoment @mind-reader1 @xxrainbowprincessxx @hopefulmoonobject @alicars @katurrade @indiacater @bella-ca @blznbaby @blackwidow2721 @liamxs-world @simsvetements @furiousherringoperatortoad @choicesfannatalie @crookedslimecreatorpasta @coldcollectornight08 @museofbooks @syltti78 @ao719 @3pawandme @blubutterflyy @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @liam-rhys @riseandshinelittleblossom @wannabemc2 @gibbles82 @sarwin85 @heatherfilliez @gardeningourmet @cocomaxley

#trr fanfic #choices trr #trr #prince leo #leo trr #cordonia #leo x mc #liam rhys #leo rhys #leo x aria #maxwell beaumont #drake walker #olivia nevrakis #the royal romance #duchess aria #trr halloween #beaumont bash

35 notes · View notes

peterpanswendy · 7 years ago

Text

Unpopular Opinion: I think the new Magic School Bus show is actually okay

Listen up, Walkerville: The 90s are over.

In the weeks leading up to the release of the long-awaited Magic School Bus reboot, I have seen a LOT of negativity. Now the full season has dropped, I’m seeing even more disappointment, with many claiming that it has "ruined their childhoods”.

Okay, yes, it’s clear that they were making a show on a Netflix budget two decades after the craze as opposed to a PBS budget in the heat of the initial craze, BUT THEY DO SO MANY THINGS RIGHT. Or at least they’re trying.

I consider the Magic School Bus to be one of the biggest, most important parts of my childhood, and it left a huge impact that still resonates strongly years after the fact. Honestly, I take it perhaps a bit more seriously than a woman nearing 30 should.

So please believe me when I say that the new show is not so bad!

Here are three pieces of evidence:

1. They don’t try to fix what’s not broken

At its core, the original Magic School Bus cartoon is about Ms. Frizzle, an eccentric teacher with a magical school bus who takes her class on crazy field trips that simultaneously teaches them science and holds the key to solve whatever issue the kids have that particular day. At the end of each episode, the producer would clear up any scientific inconsistencies during a phone call segment. While it made science easily comprehendible to young audiences, it contained pop culture references (quotes and impersonations, celebrity voice actors, some jokes) that only older audiences would really get. It had wit, it had class, it had an endless number of really, REALLY awful puns.

In “Rides Again”, this hasn’t changed. Each episode follows the exact same pattern as the predecessor, and they poke fun at this in Arnold’s speech at the beginning of the new episode. They know it’s predictable.

Ms. Frizzle is still voiced by a popular comedienne. The theme song is still sung by a popular musical artist in their heyday. Heck, the opening theme is basically an (updated) frame-for-frame of the original. The science is there, the bus does its stuff, and oh, are the the puns still as bad as ever.

Oh, and celebrity guest stars?

Bojack Horseman, the first black female astronaut, and the former Dr. Christina Yang of Grey’s Anatomy? Not bad for a first run if you ask me!

2. Sometimes change is for the better

I dunno about you other 90s kids, but when I was in elementary school, NONE of my classmates dressed like any of the kids in the original show. Pleated skirts and saddle shoes? Initial jerseys and backwards hats? Matching vests and pants with Mary Janes? COLLARED SHIRT DRESSES AND HIGH HEELS?! Yowza! The characters were originally designed in 1989 with the release of the book “At the Waterworks”, and the show stayed pretty faithful to Degen’s original art style...so yeah, the styles were dated coming out the gate.

Okay, yes, I am sad Arnold lost his curly hair and that Tim and Keesha’s skin lightened in tone, but overall, I LOVE the redesigned class! They look like believable modern kids. Tim especially benefits from the updated look. (I do wish they had made Wanda look a little more tomboyish and Keesha a bit less sweet, but anything was better than what they were wore back in the 90s.)

Now, the cast changes: Out with Valerie and Phoebe, in with Fiona and Jyoti. As I mentioned earlier, the show knows it’s repetitive. They needed something to change it up, and I think this was an okay way to go about it.

First: The Friz. Practically, and I know none of you 90s purists want to hear it, Kate McKinnon is more relevant in this day and age than Lily Tomlin. As a character, Fiona maybe relies on the bus a bit too much, but she brings a believable joy to the novelty of the bus’s capabilities that Valerie often took for granted. Honestly, I think they handled the “changing of the guard” really spectacularly - heck, they worked it into a story about Invasive Species. That was darn clever and caught me delightfully off-guard!

As for Phoebe, she was just the soft-hearted animal-loving “new kid” and, I feel, didn’t really contribute as much to the class dynamic as say...literally everyone else except Tim. Jyoti is the non-whiny, adventurous new girl with the tech and industrial design knowledge that brings the show into the 21st century. (Plus some Southeast-Asian representation!) She’s a much more exciting character, but I don’t really know who her foil is. Anyway, she’s smart and adorable and I’m glad she’s on board.

(Slight tangent: Wanda seems to have taken on Phoebe’s attribute of being an animal lover and conservationist. Yes, Wanda did like slightly unconventional animals in the original show - remember Bella in “Hops Home”? - but she wasn’t necessarily for preserving them in their original habitats. Do recall that she was the main proponent for clearing out the abandoned lot in “Meets The Rot Squad”, not to mention the eccentric habitat she believed was best for Bella. New Wanda still loves animals like fish and rats, and gets arbitrarily attached to them and tries to force her ideas of what’s best on them, but dang, I did not expect her to suggest field trips to preserve animals. Where’s the thrill-seeking? Where’s the reckless adventure? I can see why they needed to transfer the love of biology to someone, and Wanda was the logical choice, but like, man...I miss her edge. Maybe she matured over the summer break.)

BACK ON TASK. The kids have more or less dropped their catch phrases....with the exception of “CARLOS!” Now that they’re in their second year in Ms. Frizzle’s class, they have a stronger sense of agency during field trips. Heck, they even got to pick a location once! With a less experienced Frizzle in the driver’s seat, the kids really get to run the show...which I think is really neat!

3. They throw the old fans plenty of bones

Weatherman. Keesha directing. Arnold’s obsession with rocks. Phoebe going back to her Old School. Ralphie’s horrified face when he finds himself inside a classmate’s nose, a bodily location everyone (except Jyoti) has been once before. Janet being a snobby little bitch with a blog...who’s still a total coward. Is it just me, or did the writers include a bunch of throw-backs to the original show? I unapologetically love every single one of them.

Also. ALSO. I don’t know if any of y’all took a close look at the credits but...in the Additional Voices there’s three that really stand out:

Amos Crawley: Arnold’s original voice actor (before Danny Tamberelli). Lisa Jai: Wanda’s original voice actress. Stuart Stone: Ralphie’s original voice actor.

Wow.

I ask you, WHY WOULD THEY SPECIFICALLY GET THEM BACK IF NOT AS A LOVE LETTER TO THE ORIGINAL?

The new show’s not perfect. There’s not as much banter between the kids, and their personalities seem a bit watered down compared to the original (and unexpectedly less sarcastic)...but it’s not BAD. I’d love to hear a kid’s opinion on it, honestly. I know the kid in me can’t wait to see more!

In conclusion, haters gonna hate, the new Magic School Bus is good, and darnit, Netflix, I want more! Make of it what you will.

Thanks for reading!

#magic school bus rides again #magic school bus #msb #rant

109 notes · View notes

ipodclassic160gb · 7 years ago

Text

2017 Year End Music List

Hello and welcome to another installment of my annual album/song of the year lists. It was a rough year! Thank you for reading I love you so much.

20. Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up

I never liked Fleet Foxes. I always thought they were the product of an NPR think tank (just like Wilco or Neko Case). But I gave this album a shot and it really did it for me. The music is just so lush! My only issue with it is that you kind of have to give this album your undivided attention and listen to soak in all of the details. You can also file this one under “albums that sound like their cover art”

19. Colin Stetson - All This I Do For Glory

Every release from Colin Stetson is remarkable in it’s virtuosity and sheer innovation. No other artist on this planet can do what he does with just a saxophone. However, since Vol 2: Judges his work has been a lot of the same. It might just be me, but I felt like this release changed up his formula just enough to make this some of his best music yet.

18. Blanck Mass - World Eater

I think any album by a member of Fuck Buttons has a certain loudness requirement it has to meet to be considered as part of their body of work. While I don’t think they’ll ever match the pulsing wall of buzzsaw distortion that was Street Horrrsing, this album takes me to that same musical realm.

17. Jlin - Black Origami

THIS ALBUM IS BATSHIT FUCKING CRAZY. It sounds like the drumline from the movie Drumline and a West African drum circle playing together but they’re both are performing on computer instruments. These songs absolutely refuse to be background music. There were moments on here that left me with my jaw dropped, just staring at the speakers because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

16. Vince Staples - Big Fish Theory

Big Fish Theory is a great example of an album where the risks pay off and Vince Staples feels like the only rapper capable of putting it together. The production is pretty out there and not only does Staples make it work, he makes himself at home in it. Even with producers like SOPHIE (if you had told me even a year ago that I would hear Kendrick Lamar rap over a SOPHIE beat I would have called you crazy), this album is West Coast to it’s core.

15. (Sandy) Alex G - Rocket

This album is honestly kind of a mixed bag, but the good songs are great and led me to listen to listen to other a lot of older Alex G. So I figured it was worth including in this list. To me, his music falls into the space somewhere between This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About and Either/Or.

14. Mastodon - Emperor of Sand

Since no one else is saying I’ll go ahead and say it: Mastodon is STILL COOL and this is by far their best album since Crack the Skye

13. Ross from Friends - You’ll Understand/Don’t Sleep, There Are Snakes

Lo-fi house gets a bad rep because it’s bandcamp music made by enigmatic producers with funny names and is basically just an offshoot of vaporwave. That being said, lo-fi house is at the very least more functional than straight up vaporwave music and honestly…what’s wrong with funny names?

12. Sheer Mag - Need to Feel Your Love

I love this band. They make such PERFECT and AUTHENTIC sounding 70′s rock. Do you remember The Darkness??? I liked The Darkness when I was A Teen but you could always tell that they were copying from someone else’s playbook. With Sheer Mag, I feel like you could put their music on a playlist right next to a Thin Lizzy song and no one would think anything of it.

11. Thundercat - Drunk

To me, this is Thundercat finally hitting his stride. The shorter songs suit him well and keep the album from getting stale. A lot of artists this year tried to capture the essence what it’s like to live in such buck wild times and a lot of them fell flat . This album captures that essence without even trying.

10. Visible Cloaks - Reassemblage

You know how you go back to look at the music you listened to the most over the past year and it’s like...what is this album I listened to like 100 times apparently? And it’s that album you would always play while riding public transit to help you relax and zone out? That’s what this album is and it’s really good

9. Power Trip - Nightmare Logic

Easily my favorite metal album in years. Not a moment of filler. This is music to punch people in the face to.

8. Kelela - Take Me Apart

After seeing Kelela play the side stages at virtually every festival I’ve been to in the last four years I am really happy to see her blowing up from this release. The central theme of this album of yourself apart and putting yourself back together after losing someone hit EXCRUCIATINGLY close to home for me this year.

7. Charli XCX - Pop 2

Turning her back on the Iggy Azalea paycheck money to work with a set of producers who make music that sounds like you’ve wound up on the WRONG part of the internet solidifies Charli XCX as one of the realest artists working in pop music today.

6. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.

This album is the last nail in the coffin of every rapper that is not Kendrick Lamar. It solidifies him as the peerless, undisputed heavyweight champion of rap music (honestly…the second half of “DNA” alone accomplishes this). It’s been such a gift to watch Kendrick make his way to the top.The only thing that worries me is that now that he’s at the top where can he go from here?

5. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked at Me

One of the most gut-wrenchingly sad albums I have ever heard. What sets this apart from other albums about death is the specificity. It is an unadorned look into what someone goes through when someone they love dies. I think I’ve been able to make through the album start to finish a total of two times

4. Fever Ray - Plunge

What makes this album great is that it carries the same political themes brought forth on The Knife’s last album into a more refined and structured space without it sounding any less bizarre. No other lyric better summarizes the current global political climate than “THIS COUNTRY MAKES IT HARD TO FUCK”

3. St. Vincent - MASSEDUCTION

I wouldn’t say that it’s St. Vincent’s best work by any means. However, there’s a handful of songs on here that just fucking GET to me. A lot of people seem to view MASSEDUCTION as this fun and sexy album but to me it’s just overwhelmingly sad. Yes there are some fun latex BDSM moments here, but they exist in the context of an album about loss and addiction. I don’t think I’ve ever cried at a concert as hard as I did when I heard this album performed live.

2. JAY-Z - 4:44

This is one of the best albums of Jay-Z’s entire career. The real hero of this album, however, is No I.D.’s production. The "doing everything as big as possible” sound of Jay-Z’s other recent work only seemed to make him sound older. On this album, over slower more soulful beats, he sounds more in his element than he has in years. Jay-Z if you are reading this I do NOT forgive you

1. SZA - Ctrl

If I could give AOTY specifically to the line “why you bother me when you know you don’t want me” I would. I connected so much with the loneliness and the uncertainty and the self doubt that lives at the heart of so much of this music. This is one of those albums that I will carry with me forever because it will remind me of a specific part of my life that was bad. And I’ll go back to listen to it later and I’ll be brought back to that time but I’ll miss it for some reason. Does this happen to anyone else? There’s a lot of music that takes me back to specific BAD moments in my life and makes me miss those moments. Hopefully that is normal.

Songs of the Year:

Lil Uzi Vert - XO TOUR Llif3

(Sandy) Alex G - Bobby

Carly Rae Jepsen - Cut To The Feeling

Anamanaguchi - Miku (NES Version)

The War On Drugs - Thinking Of A Place

The National - The System Only Dreams In Total Darkness

Gorillaz - Hallelujah Money (ft. Benjamin Clementine)

Cardi B - Bodak Yellow

Japanese Breakfast - Road Head

King Krule - Dum Surfer

Lorde - Green Light

Kelly Lee Owens - More Than a Woman (Aaliyah Cover)

Radiohead - I Promise

Payboi Carti - Magnolia

Lizzo - Truth Hurts

Thundercat - Show You The Way (ft. Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald

N.E.R.D. - Lemon (ft. Rihanna)

yaeji - raingurl

Arca - Piel

Calvin Harris - Slide (ft. Frank Ocean and Migos)

(2017 Overall Playlist)

#list

7 notes · View notes

obtusemedia · 5 years ago

Text

The 50 greatest albums of the 2010s

These 50 albums are the records that stuck with me the most in this past decade. There are albums here that grew on me slowly over time, and others that I instantly clicked with. Some of these records are constantly on repeat; some I only pull off the shelf at a certain time of year, or when I’m in a certain mood.

Regardless of why I love them, these are my 50 favorite albums of the 2010s.

#50: In Colour by Jamie xx (2015)

Instrumental electronic music is really not my thing, but In Colour is one of the few exceptions.

Jamie xx — also a member of indie icons The xx — has said In Colour is meant to evoke the emotions of a night out in London’s nightclubs, but not work as typical dance music that would actually be played in those clubs. That description is dead on.

With the exception of the bouncy Young Thug and Popcaan collab “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times),” which serves as a fun break from the album’s moody atmospheres, none of these songs are danceable. Standouts like “SeeSaw” and “Girl” sound like the half-remembered soundtrack of a blacked-out night, with haunting whispers of vocals throughout. And the more pop-centric, heartbreaking ballads with fellow The xx members Romy and Oliver Sim prove Jamie can write stellar conventional tunes as well.

Best songs: “Loud Places,” “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)”

#49: Days Are Gone by HAIM (2013)

In their influential debut album Days Are Gone, the Haim sisters fused together ‘70s/’80s radio-friendly pop-rock, early ‘90s pop melodies and a modern Instagram sheen to create a collection of 11 instant indie-pop classics.

The San Fernando Valley-based sisters — Este, Danielle, and Alana — have both the songwriting and instrumental chops necessary to create the closest thing Millennials will get to a Fleetwood Mac album. Each song has approximately 40 hooks, plus some smooth guitar licks, just-funky-enough grooves and analog keyboards to get the job done.

Given that 2013′s pop scene was more about disco throwbacks and Miley Cyrus riding construction equipment, it’s unsurprising yet a bummer that should-be hits like “The Wire” or “Forever” never became mega-smashes. But HAIM’s retro pop sound on Days Are Gone would serve as a playbook for the rest of the 2010s for pop stars seeking an indie edge and more pop-inclined indie artists alike.

Best songs: “The Wire,” “Days Are Gone”

#48: Teens of Style by Car Seat Headrest (2015)

Teens of Style is almost more of a sampler record than a proper album. Released after Car Seat Headrest signed to the legendary indie label Matador, the record consists of select songs from Will Toledo’s low-fi Bandcamp recordings, re-recorded.

But let’s be honest — those Bandcamp albums are rooooough. Toledo could write great tunes, but the sound quality was so bad that the songs sounded like they were recorded with a Game Boy Color. The re-recording was necessary.

The tracks here are still appropriately fuzzy, with Toledo singing them through a distorted vocal filter. But with actual production values, the massive guitars and energetic choruses of grunge bangers like “Times To Die,” “Something Soon,” and “The Drum” come to the surface. And it also features one of Toledo’s best songs, the Pet Sounds-meets-Pavement power ballad “Strangers.” It’s a must-listen for any ‘90s nostalgists or sad bastards.

Best songs: “Strangers,” “Something Soon”

#47: AM by Arctic Monkeys (2013)

This was an interesting experiment that seemed doomed to fail: Taking an aggressively British rock band whose previous formula had gotten stale, and transforming them into slick, swaggering American rock gods. But somehow, AM works. Alex Turner channeled a greasy charm in his winking croon, nearly developing a Western drawl. And although the production is significantly smoother, the Arctic Monkeys didn’t forget how to RAWK — the clanging guitars of “R U Mine?” and “Arabella” will wake you right up.

Yes, AM is one of those Urban Outfitters-core albums that was a favorite amongst suburban faux-hipsters. It’s not nearly as cool as it thinks it is. But it’s still the closest thing the ‘10s have to a classic rock masterpiece.

Best songs: “R U Mine?,” “Do I Wanna Know?”

#46: Charli by Charli XCX (2019)

This decade has seen two versions of London pop visionary Charli XCX: The glitched-out weirdo behind “Vroom Vroom” and “Track 10,″ and the snotty popstar who sang the hook on an Iggy Azalea hit and wrote a bubblegum track for a teen romance. What makes Charli such a fun listen is it’s her only project that masterfully balances her two sides.

Do you prefer radio-friendly hook machine Charli? Here’s some synthy duets with Troye Sivan and Lizzo. If you want the experimental side of Charli, there’s the jagged “Click” and a song that sounds like it samples the THX theme. And the best songs take a little from both of Charli’s strengths (like the two tracks below).

Best songs: “Gone,” “Cross You Out”

#45: Harry Styles by Harry Styles (2017)

When Harry Styles, arguably One Direction’s most beloved member, announced his first solo album, I can’t imagine many fans expected it to be so...dad rock.

Styles’ self-titled debut goes down easy, with its gentle guitars and singer-songwriter odes to love. It’s the kind of record that’s easy to scoff at — the pretty one in a boy band tries his hand at ~serious~ music — but remember, critics didn’t love Paul McCartney’s first couple solo albums either. Harry Styles’ impeccable pop-rock songwriting will cement its legacy,

Best songs: “Sign of the Times,” “Two Ghosts”

#44: Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay (2011)

Mylo Xyloto is unabashedly corny, and that’s what makes it great. You’d expect a Coldplay album to already have a high level of cheese, but Mylo Xyloto takes it to another level. Unlike the similarly poppy A Head Full Of Dreams a few years later, Xyloto’s head-first dive into synths and dance beats is actually memorable. There’s technically a loose connecting story tying the songs together, but all you need to enjoy the album is a love for massive, world-conquering choruses and a love of Chris Martin’s heart-on-sleeve emotions.

Best songs: “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall,” “Charlie Brown”

#43: Everybody Works by Jay Som (2017)

Plenty of great dream-pop albums were released this decade, but none of them feature as many variations on that style as Jay Som’s Everybody Works. All of Oakland singer-songwriter Melina Duterte’s songs are hazy and catchy, but she still manages to dabble in the sounds of grunge (“1 Billion Dogs”), Latin pop (“One More Time, Please”) and even early ‘00s soccer-mom pop (“The Bus Song”). And other than an overly-long closing track, Duterte nails everything she tries. Everybody Works is a little slight, but the music is too hypnotizing to resist.

Best songs: “The Bus Song,” “(BedHead)”

#42: The Suburbs by Arcade Fire (2010)

The Suburbs is an album that seems to sprawl out forever, just like its namesake. And with apologies to The Hold Steady, this album is the closest thing Millennials got to creating a Springsteen classic of their own.

The classic-rock and new-wave influences that Arcade Fire melded create a feeling of both comfort and dread, perfectly encapsulating the feelings of someone trapped in endless housing developments and strip malls. The tension builds and builds, until it all gloriously climaxes with the ‘80s pop throwback “Sprawl II” — a triumphant anthem about feeling trapped. Arcade Fire’s follow-ups to The Suburbs might have dimmed the band’s reputation, but their Grammy-winning masterpiece still holds up.

Best songs: “Sprawl II” “Suburban War”

#41: Era Extraña by Neon Indian (2011)

The first sign that Neon Indian wouldn’t be a flash-in-the-pan unlike many of his chillwave peers, Era Extraña is a glitchy new wave pop masterpiece. Tracks like “Halogen (I Could Be A Shadow),” “Hex Girlfriend” and “Suns Irrupt” sound less like traditional synthpop songs than hallucinatory memories, yet they’ll never leave your head. And Texas keyboard wizard Alan Palomo’s biggest crossover hit is also on this album, the burbling gem “Polish Girl.” Jump into any point in the album — it’s likely a stellar tune stuffed with analog synth riffs.

Best songs: “Halogen (I Could Be A Shadow),” “Fallout”

#40: MASSEDUCTION by St. Vincent (2017)

Indie hero St. Vincent made a sharp pivot into pop with MASSEDUCTION, her fifth album and first collaboration with super-producer Jack Antonoff. But given her art-rock leanings, this wasn’t going to be a typical pop album.

MASSEDUCTION is a gonzo record that manages to balance tearjerking ballads like “Happy Birthday, Johnny” and “Slow Disco” with new-wave freakouts like “Fear The Future” and “Sugarboy.” I’d call it one of those pop albums with an undercurrent of darkness under the shiny sheen, but the darkness on this album is more than an undercurrent. Panic is the overwhelming emotion throughout MASSEDUCTION, and Annie Clark was the perfect artist to convey that feeling through her weirdo pop jams.

Best songs: “Los Ageless,” “Happy Birthday, Johnny”

#39: Gossamer by Passion Pit (2012)

Gossamer sounded cutting-edge in 2012, with its warped vocal samples and fizzy synthpop production. Unfortunately, that production has already aged badly less than a decade later.

But that doesn’t mean that Michael Angelakos’ songwriting has suffered with time. His morose, depressed lyrics still sync masterfully with the sugary synthpop that backs them up. And even though Angelakos is writing about dour topics like the Great Recession, bipolar disorder and suicide, he doesn’t forget the hooks. Songs like “Carried Away,” “Cry Like A Ghost” and of course, the big hit “Take A Walk,” could easily slide into Top 40 radio if they weren’t so grim lyrically. And I’m sure once early ‘10s production comes back in vogue in a decade or two, Gossamer will once again sound fresh.

Best songs: “Take A Walk,” “I’ll Be Alright”

#38: Atrocity Exhibition by Danny Brown (2016)

Danny Brown’s music always seemed a little unhinged. But Atrocity Exhibition — one of the decade’s most unique, haunting albums — is a true look into his demented mind. The production is warped and fried, and the Detroit rapper’s inimitable whacked-out flow is pushed to its breaking point. The result is a record that sounds both cartoonishly fun and absolutely terrifying.

Brown’s hedonistic-yet-chaotic lifestyle detailed in Atrocity Exhibition is wildly entertaining to listen to, but it’s not a world you want to live in. It sounds like both dropping acid and getting curb-stomped at the same time. And it’s a sonic achievement I’m not sure Brown will be able to top.

Best songs: “Ain’t It Funny,” “When It Rain”

#37: Born This Way by Lady Gaga (2011)

Listen, I love Gaga. She’s my favorite pop star of all time, point blank. But she only has one perfect album: 2009′s sharp, concise The Fame Monster, which missed the decade cutoff by only two months. Every other record Gaga’s released has at least a few filler tracks. But Born This Way’s highs are so dizzyingly high that it’s impossible to not recognize this album.

Imagine if Gaga kept Born This Way to only 10 tracks or so, cut out the fluff. It would be wall-to-wall early 10s pop masterpieces: “Marry The Night.” “Born This Way.” “You And I.” And of course, “The Edge Of Glory.” And that’s not even counting the many solid deep cuts sprinkled throughout — there’s a biker song about riding goddamn unicorns. How could you hate that?

Born This Way is still an exhausting listen in its full, but that’s partly because it’s so exhilarating that you couldn’t possibly have any energy left afterwards.

Best songs: “The Edge of Glory,” “You And I”

#36: To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar (2015)

Like Gaga, Kendrick Lamar is one of the decade’s great visionaries, but he also tends to overstuff his albums (with one exception, we’ll get to it later). And To Pimp a Butterfly definitely has some filler in its back half. But when Lamar is firing on all cylinders, the album reaches heights that 99% of albums couldn’t even dream of.

The album’s eight-song first half is a stunning masterwork of songs that have wildly different tones and emotions, yet still manage to piece together a running theme of the confusing, troubled black experience in modern America. And even the rougher second half has furious cuts like “Hood Politics” and “The Blacker The Berry.”

I have to give Lamar all the props for having a grand vision with To Pimp a Butterfly. The best albums require a sky-high vision. But, like with Born This Way, if it had been trimmed by three or four songs, it could’ve been top-10 of the decade.

Best songs: “The Blacker The Berry,” “King Kunta”

#35: 1989 by Taylor Swift (2014)

There was a lot of anger when Taylor Swift won the Album Of The Year Grammy for 1989 over To Pimp a Butterfly. But, at the risk of sounding like I have no taste — maybe the Grammys actually got it right?

I know Red is the fan and critic favorite of Swift’s albums, but I’ve always found it to be wildly inconsistent (despite some incredible high points). 1989, meanwhile, doesn’t waste a single second. It’s a perfect pop album, delivering the gargantuan hooks and leaving before it lingers around too long. It’s one of those records where nearly every track could’ve been a hit single. And even if it isn’t Swift’s peak lyrically, it’s certainly her peak in terms of mastering pop music craft and production.

Best songs: “Style,” “Blank Space”

#34: I like it when you sleep, because you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it by The 1975 (2016)

This might be the most frustrating album on the list. On I like it..., a massive leap of a sophomore album from The 1975, there are so many untouchable pop classics: “The Sound.” “Somebody Else.” “Love Me.” “UGH!” “A Change of Heart.” “She’s American.”

But there are also some mind-boggling choices, like adding two lengthy, pointless instrumental interludes and ending the record on a couple of painfully boring acoustic guitar numbers — not The 1975′s strong suit. But the ‘80s retro flair of I like it... is so charming, and its sheer scope so ambitious, that I still find myself returning to the record over and over again. It was the album where The 1975 proved they were more than just pretty British bad boys, but true Millennial pop icons.

Best songs: “Somebody Else,” “A Change of Heart”

#33: They Want My Soul by Spoon (2014)

They Want My Soul is an album by Spoon, the world’s most consistent rock band since 1998. So naturally, it’s good — all Spoon albums are.

But They Want My Soul is a perfect back-to-basics record, returning to that classic crisp, uber-catchy indie rock sound that Spoon perfected in the prior decade. There’s a few new production flourishes, but for the most part, the Austin band just deliver an updated version of the goods. Why fix something that ain’t broken?

Best songs: “Do You,” “Rainy Taxi”

#32: House of Balloons by The Weeknd (2011)

Before he started pumping out Michael Jackson pastiches, The Weekend was mysterious and depraved as hell. His introduction to the world, House of Balloons, is still just as haunting and impactful as it was in 2011. Abel Tesfaye’s helium vocals contrast masterfully with his dark lyrics and the nocturnal, grimy production.

House of Balloons is certainly an album that needs to be listened to at certain points of the day/year — listening to it at noon on a sunny July day is just wrong. Wait until it’s nighttime and when the temperature drops — Tesfaye is from Toronto, after all — and embrace the darkness.

Best songs: “House Of Balloons / Glass Table Girls,” “The Party & The After Party”

#31: Soft Sounds From Another Planet by Japanese Breakfast (2017)

Japanese Breakfast — AKA Eugene indie rocker Michelle Zauner — is Oregon’s finest musical project of the century (no, bands that moved to Portland don’t count; sorry Modest Mouse, The Shins and Sleater-Kinney). And Soft Sounds From Another Planet is both her high-water mark and proof that Zauner has the potential to become an all-time indie great.

The songs on Soft Sounds take the classic dream-pop/shoegaze sound and tweak it a bit, fusing it with alt-rock and sci-fi new wave. The album’s centerpiece, “Boyish,” sounds like a gorgeous prom ballad from the ‘50s. But Zauner herself is who brings Japanese Breakfast’s songs to light. Her deeply personal and emotional songwriting strikes a chord, and her flexible vocals cut through the cloudy production like a foglight.

Best songs: “12 Steps,” “The Body Is a Blade”

#30: Run The Jewels 2 by Run The Jewels (2014)

RTJ2 starts with Killer Mike screaming in the studio. That furious, profane and chaotic energy carries throughout RTJ2, an apocalyptic hip-hop masterpiece.

Killer Mike and El-P had no shortage of political targets to spray their anger at with, from corrupt, violent cops to an unjust capitalist system. Songs like “Early” and “Crown” are tragic, paranoid retellings of police brutality that would leave even Fox News viewers sympathetic. But the key to RTJ2 is that Mike and El are still clearly having a blast. When they rip apart their enemies, they do so with glee, and El’s energetic dystopian production was at its peak with this record.

Best songs: “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry,” “Early”

#29: IGOR by Tyler, The Creator (2019)

IGOR is one of those albums that creates its own sonic universe. The blend of fuzzed-out synths, aggro hip-hop and sweet retro soul that Tyler, The Creator cooked up on this album is truly one of a kind.

The former enfant terrible of rap put his raw emotions to use by telling the story of a brutal story of unrequited love. Tyler perfectly captured the rollercoaster of emotions of that scenario, from queasiness to vengeful anger to dejection to finally acceptance. Every second is packed with hooks, ear-grabbing production and the relatable narrative.

Flower Boy might have been the world’s introduction to a more thoughtful Tyler. But IGOR is when that potential was fully realized.

Best songs: “EARFQUAKE,” “A BOY IS A GUN*”

#28: Guppy by Charly Bliss (2017)

What if ‘90s rockers, instead of heroin, were addicted to Pixy Sticks? That’s what Guppy sounds like: Angsty lyrics and crunchy guitars, but all in the service of incredibly energetic and catchy pop-rock songs. Lead singer Eva Hendricks’ piercing, squeaky vocals just add to the rush of excitement each song has — it sounds like a literal child is singing sometimes.

Guppy isn’t going to be for everyone; not every person wants to down a king size bag of Sour Patch Kids in one sitting. But for a fun sugar rush with some legitimate heft, you can’t do much better than Charly Bliss’ electric debut album.

Best songs: “Westermarck,” “Scare U”

#27: Carrie & Lowell by Sufjan Stevens (2015)

On the exact opposite end of the emotional and energy spectrum from Guppy sits Carrie & Lowell. Sufjan Stevens’ acoustic masterpiece is about the death of his mother, and the complicated feelings that arose from that moment. It’s a haunting, dark collection of songs that grapple with Stevens’ relationships with his deceased mother and God.

Fair warning: Carrie & Lowell is insanely sad. If you’re not in the mood for some downer songs, you’ll likely switch it off. But sometimes, we all need a good tear-jerker. And if you squint at it right, it might be the greatest Christian album of all time (that’s a stretch, I realize...but I’m sticking with it).

Best songs: “The Only Thing,” “Fourth of July”

#26: Late Night Feelings by Mark Ronson (2019)

When was the last time that a producer-driven album was this good? Or more miraculously, this cohesive?

Late Night Feelings is exactly what you think it is based on the title: a collection of nocturnal songs about heartbreak. Ronson mostly abandoned his trademark ‘80s and ‘70s retro sounds for a more modern pop sound (for the most part), with each track perfect for a night drive. And he gathered a murderer’s row of female singers and songwriters to accompany him. He got megastars like Miley Cyrus and Camilla Cabello to deliver some of their best-ever work, and gave indie darlings Angel Olsen and Lykki Li massive platforms to work their magic. Late Night Feelings is a blueprint for any other pop producers who want their album to be more than just a grab bag of singles and filler.

Best songs: “True Blue,” “Find U Again”

#25: Bloom by Beach House (2012)

Picking the best Beach House album is like picking the best Skittles flavor — they’re pretty much all great, and there’s not too much difference between any of them. But pound for pound, Bloom is the best Beach House record in my book, delivering as much hazy dreampop goodness as one could handle. More than perhaps any other record the Baltimore duo released, it’s all-killer-no-filler; the perfect bridge between the band’s early guitar-driven sound and their more recent reliance on keyboards. Even the secret closing track is great! But the album’s strongest section is its first four songs, arguably all of which could be a top-10 Beach House song. “Myth” in particular is the moment when it became clear that the duo had established themselves as perhaps dreampop’s greatest act.

Best songs: “Myth,” “Other People”

#24: Take Care by Drake (2011)

Almost all of Drake’s albums are famously overlong and stuffed with filler. Take Care, the Canadian icon’s sad-boy masterpiece, only commits one of those sins: It’s a bit on the long side, but nearly all of the 19 tracks are great.

Take Care is probably best known for the tear-jerkings moments when Drake allowed himself to get aggressively mopey, such as the drunk-dial lament of “Marvins Room,” the mournful R&B of “Doing It Wrong.” But there’s plenty of fiery bangers amongst the tears — who hasn’t used “Lord Knows” or “HYFR” to get hyped? Take Care was the foundation that built Drake’s 2010s empire, and will likely be remembered as his ultimate classic record.

Best songs: “Marvins Room,” “Lord Knows”

#23: Currents by Tame Impala (2015)

If Take Care is the definitive hip-hop sad-boy album of the decade, Currents is certainly its indie rock counterpart. Aussie psych-rock wizard Kevin Parker took Tame Impala into synthier territory on this album, jamming as many '80s Casio riffs as possible next to his guitar grooves. Some Tame Impala fans might have decried the poppier sound on this album at the time, but I believe Currents will go down as Parker’s finest moment.

Best songs: “The Less I Know The Better,” “Let It Happen”

#22: Take Me Apart by Kelela (2017)

The perfect marriage of off-kilter, nocturnal indie pop and R&B, Take Me Apart is one of the top-tier night-driving albums of the decade. The production, led by indie heavyweights Ariel Reichstaid and Arca, along with Kelela herself, is masterful. It calls back to ‘80s and ‘90s R&B sounds while sounding like an alien transmission. And Kelela is the perfect vocalist for this style, managing to sound both sensual and robotic. Take Me Apart should’ve been a blockbuster hit, but for now, it stands as R&B’s most underrated album of the ‘10s.

Best songs: “LMK,” “Truth or Dare”

#21: Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming by M83 (2011)

You can’t casually listen to Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. From the second you press play on the majestic opener “Intro,” you have to buckle up for a breathtaking 73-minute experience. Calling M83′s bombastic synthpop/post-rock mix “cinematic” has become a cliché at this point, but there’s no better descriptor for it. Especially when Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming is nearly the length of a feature film. Standouts like “Midnight City,” “Wait,” and “Outro” haven’t lost their luster after years of overplay, and there’s plenty of deep cuts to discover with each listen. Even the frog-themed acid trip is enjoyable! It’s no wonder Anthony Gonzalez followed up this album with the goofy and low-stakes Junk — there was no way he’ll ever be able top the bombastic, nostalgic glory of Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming.

Best songs: “Midnight City,” “Intro”

#20: Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey (2019)

It’s about damn time that Lana Del Rey, one of the decade’s most iconic and influential figures, started getting some critical acclaim. And it makes sense that the rave reviews started arriving with Norman Fucking Rockwell! this summer. It’s easily her most singer-songwriter-y album, stuffed with clever turns of phrase and devastating lines. NFR is also Lana’s most somber album, with a focus on depression, romantic dissatisfaction and the death of the American Dream. And yet, it ends on a note of tentative hope, mirroring the disposition of many nervous Millennials and Gen Zers. It’s not my favorite album of hers, but undoubtedly, Rockwell is the moment when Lana established herself as a generational icon.

Best songs: “The greatest,” “Mariners Apartment Complex”

#19: Lemonade by Beyoncé (2016)

Some may prefer Beyoncé’s more R&B-focused self-titled surprise album, but I’m always going to point to Lemonade as her towering achievement. Beyoncé created a blueprint for a flawless breakup album here: There’s songs detailing her disbelief at Jay-Z’s affair, a group of fiery kiss-off anthems, some somber ballads about her grief, and finally, a triumphant moment of reconciliation. And throughout the story, Beyoncé masterfully samples a variety of genres, from reggae to hard rock to even country. And just when you think the album ends on a perfect note, Beyoncé tacked on her greatest-ever single, “Formation.” I’m always a sucker for albums that tell a complete story, and Lemonade was an instant classic in that format.

Best songs: “Formation,” “Don’t Hurt Yourself”

#18: Antisocialites by Alvvays (2017)

In contrast to Lemonade, Alvvays’ sophomore record Antisocialites only sticks with one musical style: ghostly, uber-catchy dream pop. It’s like Chromatics, but for the daytime. Good thing the Toronto group are masters of that sound.

Their early-R.E.M.-meets-Beach House vibe was never been better than on Antisocialites, where every song is a melancholy gem. None of the songs are overly ambitious, but that’s not a problem when Alvvays’ simplistic beauty is irresistible regardless.

Best songs: “In Undertow,” “Dreams Tonite”

#17: DAYTONA by Pusha-T (2018)

Virginia hip-hop legend Pusha-T somehow made sounding in his comfort zone sound like the coolest thing in the world with his magnum opus, DAYTONA. At only seven songs and 21 minutes, the record is a textbook example of a tight and focused classic. Push’s coke-dealer bars and Kanye West’s dusty, sample-heavy production fit perfectly. The album at times almost sounds like a nihilistic The College Dropout. Late-era Kanye is nobody’s favorite, but DAYTONA proved that he and Push are still one of hip-hop’s best teams.

Best songs: “If You Know You Know,” “Santeria”

#16: Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit by Courtney Barnett (2015)

Courtney Barnett cemented herself as one of the finest songwriters of her generation with her debut record, Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit. Barnett’s dry Aussie wit rarely feels too snarky, she just has a matter-of-fact view of the world that’s refreshing and unique. The album plays like a series of indie rock vignettes, with gloomier songs about coral reef destruction and imposter syndrome balanced out by goofy rock bangers like “Aqua Profunda!,” in which Barnett describes trying to impress a hot woman at the pool and accidentally passing out in the process. Sometimes is a truly fun, one-of-a-kind album that’s a perfect summer road trip listen.

Best songs: “Pedestrian At Best,” “Elevator Operator”

#15: A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships by The 1975 (2018)

As much as I adore The 1975′s three albums, all three of them unfortunately have a few fatal flaws. Their self-titled debut is consistent, but never transcendent. Their sophomore album is brilliant — except for the few painfully boring acoustic ballads and instrumental tracks. The Manchester group’s third effort is their closest to perfection, despite one or two pointless numbers (looking at you, “Surrounded By Heads and Bodies”). Matty Healy and co.’s thirst for genre experimentation is rampant here, with songs aping *inhales deeply* Oasis-esque arena rock bombast, wiry post-punk, tropical pop, gospel, cheesy ‘80s synthpop, melodramatic R&B, wonky electronica, and even jazz. And considering they nail all of those efforts, and threw in the generation-defining political anthem “Love It If We Made It” just for kicks...yeah, I’d say this album, and The 1975, are pretty damn incredible.

Best songs: “Love It If We Made It,” “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)”

#14: Clean by Soccer Mommy (2018)

Clean is on the opposite end of the ambition spectrum from The 1975 — it’s mostly standard indie rock and singer-songwriter folk. But what Soccer Mommy, AKA Nashville artist Sophie Allison, did within those narrow confines was magnificent. Allison spent 10 tracks detailing heartbreak, anger and jealousy with spare, relatable lyrics. And the lilting, gorgeous melodies she paired them with on tragically beautiful songs like “Scorpio Rising” and “Wildflowers” could reduce anyone to tears. Clean is both a display of raw potential and a memorable statement in its own right.

Best songs: “Scorpio Rising,” “Cool”

#13: Blonde by Frank Ocean (2016)

I could never get into Channel Orange (besides “Pyramids”... that song goes HARD), but Blonde hypnotized me immediately. Maybe I just prefer Frank Ocean’s weirder side, as Blonde has very few concessions to the radio. It’s an atmospheric trip through Ocean’s mind, and the closest R&B got to dreampop this decade. It doesn’t all work for me— “Futura Free” is a weak closer, and the interludes like “Facebook Story” are pointless — but when whe record on point, it’s the best work of Ocean’s career. If you don’t feel goosebumps when listening to the silky smooth “White Ferrari” or when the harmonies come out at the end of “Self Control,” I’m not sure what to tell you.

Best songs: “Ivy,” “Self Control”

#12: Strange Desire by Bleachers (2014)

Jack Antonoff is likely the decade’s greatest pop producer, producing career-defining masterpieces for multiple artists on this list. But he still left some of his best tunes for himself. Strange Desire, the debut album for his side band, Bleachers, is a gloriously bombastic ‘80s pop fever dream. It sounds like a John Hughes movie soundtrack infused with Pop Rocks.

Antonoff isn’t the world’s greatest singer, but his utter commitment to the cheese of his tunes makes up for that entirely. A more jaded person will probably listen to Strange Desire, shake their head, chuckle and move on. But as a proud cornball, I love this ridiculous, passionate pop album, random Yoko Ono cameos and all.

Best songs: “Rollercoaster,” “Like A River Runs”

#11: Night Time, My Time by Sky Ferreira (2013)

New wave and grunge shouldn’t go together. They’re diametrically opposed: one is bright and quirky, the other is morose and grimy. But in her debut album — and sadly, her only album so far — alt-pop genius Sky Ferreira melded the two genres seamlessly. Ferreira’s vocals and angsty attitude are a natural fit for alt-rock’s clanging guitars and angry lyrics, but she can also play the synthpop diva when needed. And on some of the albums’ best tracks, like “Heavy Metal Heart” and “Ain’t Your Right,” she comes off as a Seattle-friendly revamp of ‘80s stars like Pat Benatar or Joan Jett. It’s truly tragic that Ferreira’s second album has been in development hell, as Night Time, My Time is the kind of assured, rugged debut that signals the start of a brilliant career.

Best songs: “I Blame Myself,” “24 Hours”

#10: Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey (2014)

Lana Del Rey is certainly one of the 2010s’ defining artists. But which album is her best work? It depends on your taste: the critics seem to prefer the more subdued, songwriter-y Norman Fucking Rockwell! The album with the strongest singles and most striking style is certainly her polarizing debut, Born To Die. And for those who have difficulty sleeping, I’m sure the boring-as-hell Honeymoon helps with that. (There’s also Lust For Life...that one’s fine, I guess.)

But for me, Ultraviolence is still Lana’s pinnacle. From the album-opening psych-rock freak-out “Cruel World” to the tear-inducing melodramatic album closer “The Other Woman,” it’s her most complete album. Her tragic retro California vision is fully realized here, as it explores the dark side of her persona. Even when the music sounds triumphant, like on the James Bond-esque “Shades of Cool” or G-Funk-evoking “West Coast,” there’s a strong undercurrent of misery. And Lana’s haunting vocals sell even the most ridiculous lyrics here. Most artists would sound silly singing “Pretty When I Cry,” but Lana sells the hell out of it.

And if you still don’t get the Cult of Lana after hearing Ultraviolence — well, as she sings on “Brooklyn Baby,” “If you don’t like it, you can beat it.”

Best songs: “Shades of Cool,” “The Other Woman”

#9: Yeezus by Kanye West (2013)

Do you realize how difficult it is for an album to still sound abrasive, shocking and futuristic nearly seven years after its release? I remember a time when “Like A G6″ sounded like the future — now it’s just a goofy early-’10s hit. But I imagine Yeezus, Kanye West’s likely final masterpiece (sorry, Life of Pablo stans), will continue to freak out and delight future generations.

Working with fellow producing legends Rick Rubin (!) and Daft Punk (!!!), West decided to finally embrace how much of Middle America saw him with Yeezus. If crowd-pleasers like My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and Watch The Throne wouldn’t change some people’s minds, then fine — he was more than happy to play the villain.

Yeezus’ distorted, pitch-black production still sounds fantastic today, and is a perfect fit for the album’s bitter, furious attitude. But despite all of West’s tirades, he still found time to let his humor shine through, giving us scores of funny moments, including his greatest-ever one-liner: “HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CROISSANTS!!” And even if you missed the Old Kanye, there’s something here for you too: the soulfully profane “Bound 2,″ a crass love letter to Kim Kardashian with a gorgeous chipmunk soul sample.

This album is absolutely not for everybody, but its alienating and combustable nature is what makes Yeezus a masterwork to this day.

Best songs: “New Slaves,” “I Am A God”

#8: MY WOMAN by Angel Olsen (2016)

Angel Olsen, the greatest singer-songwriter of her generation, rarely sits still. Her three best albums all have a sharply different feel: 2014′s Burn Your Fire For No Witness is more traditional, sticking with fuzzy indie rock and hauntingly spare acoustic ballads. Her most recent album, All Mirrors, is the opposite — a maximalist, theatrical outpouring of emotions with a full orchestra on most tracks. But Olsen’s greatest work so far is the album she recorded between those two. If Burn Your Fire is a tad too minimalist, and All Mirrors is a bit too over-the-top, then MY WOMAN fits snugly between those two extremes.

But production is not what makes Olsen a genius, although she typically has good taste in it — it’s her songwriting. MY WOMAN has some of her sharpest pop-leaning tracks in the first half, like the fiery “Shut Up Kiss Me” and country slow-dance “Never Be Mine,” then some sprawling slow-burn ballads in the second half. In particular, “Sister” is a folk-rock rollercoaster that works perfectly for driving on a long trip alone, with the hushed opening gradually turning into an expansive, cinematic climax with an incredible guitar solo. And that song’s lyrics are a relatable document of self-disappointment and resentment.

From Courtney Barnett to Soccer Mommy, the late ‘10s have seen an explosion of insanely talented singer-songwriters. But none had the ambition, scope and operatic vocals of Olsen and MY WOMAN.

Best songs: “Shut Up Kiss Me,” “Sister”

#7: good kid, m.A.A.d. city by Kendrick Lamar (2012)

Arguably the greatest hip-hop concept album of all time, good kid, m.A.A.d. city is still Kendrick Lamar’s most consistent work to date. Lamar, who normally has a problem with overstuffing his records, only has one filler track here — the drowsy “Real” — and everything else either moves his narrative forward in a compelling manner, or it’s an unstoppable banger (or both!).

The storytelling techniques Lamar uses to tell his autobiographical coming-of-age tale in Compton, complete with drugs, gangs and lots of anxiety, are fascinating and clever. Lamar raps as though he’s in that moment, adding in lots of random, world-building details about his life and twisting his voice in various ways to fit the scene. Even the voicemail and audio recording clips aren’t a distraction, but a clever way to add context to his story without dragging things down.

With his elastic flow and the record’s eclectic production, Lamar is able to have the listener feel exactly how he felt in certain teenage moments. From the dreamlike, gauzy high points of “Money Trees” and “Poetic Justice” to the adrenaline-pumping chaos of “m.A.A.d. City” and “The Art of Peer Pressure” to the murky low points of “Swimming Pools” and “Sing About Me, I’m Dying Of Thirst,” he absolutely nails each and every specific emotion.

But unlike many concept albums, a majority of good kid’s songs still sound fantastic out of context. “Swimming Pools” may be a song about alcoholism disguised as a party anthem ... but it’s a pretty damn great party anthem. And the triumphant finale, the Dr. Dre-featuring “Compton,” doesn’t have anything to do with the narrative, but it’s still insanely fun.

With good kid, Lamar managed to have his audience eat their veggies while not even knowing it. It’s both incredibly ambitious, yet still restrained just enough to not feel too heavy. You couldn’t ask anything more of a major-label debut.

Best songs: “m.A.A.d city,” “The Art of Peer Pressure”

#6: Modern Vampires of the City by Vampire Weekend (2013)

Modern Vampires of the City bored me when I first heard it. I was so excited for its release, right before my high school graduation. I’d listened to Vampire Weekend’s debut album and their sophomore record, Contra, over and over again, and was thrilled for another collection of peppy, preppy indie rock. That’s not what Vampire Weekend gave us with Modern Vampires.

Their decision to take a more somber and mature tone with Modern Vampires turned out to be the smart one, as the album is a major grower. On first listen, its ballad-heavy tracklist doesn’t grab you, but Ezra Koenig’s contemplative lyrics and Rostam Batmanglij’s stunning production reveal themselves on repeat listens. From the swaying breakup anthem “Hannah Hunt,” to the baroque, vulnerable “Step,” this album is when the two were at their peak creative partnership.

Koenig was about to turn 30 during this album’s writing, and you can tell he felt mortality creeping up. The album’s most blunt song about death, “Don’t Lie,” uses iconography of headstones and ticking clocks to show Koenig’s nervousness on the subject. Faith plays a major thematic role as well. But despite these heavy topics, the band managed to deliver a gorgeous, eminently listenable experience. It’s the prime soundtrack for any anxious 20-something fully entering adulthood.

Best songs: “Hannah Hunt,” “Step”

#5: VEGA INTL. Night School by Neon Indian (2015)

Remember how I said that Tyler, The Creator’s IGOR created a unique world of its own? So does VEGA INTL. Night School. And its neon-drenched, warped ‘80s nostalgia trip is a world I could live in forever.

The magnum opus both of Neon Indian and the entire chillwave movement, VEGA is unlike anything else. Ideally, one listens to it while driving down Los Angeles streets after 9 p.m., when the roads are mostly empty but the heat and the light pollution still fill the air. Neon Indian mastermind Alan Palomo stuffed VEGA with melted synths and off-kilter grooves that sound like a 1986 Jazzercise tape stuck in a microwave. The lyrics don’t mean much, but they convey this winking retro sleaze that Prince mastered back in the day.

But all the quirky production choices in the world don’t make a great record unless you’ve got the tunes to back it up. And Palomo brought the tunes. Every single song here is insanely catchy or has a killer dance beat or both. It’s like Thriller for an alternative dystopic universe — every song could’ve been a single. In fact, the tropical haze of “Annie” predicted a wave of similar-sounding (and worse) pop hits in 2016 and 2017.

It’s a shame Palomo hasn’t been able to follow up VEGA with a new album since 2015. Perhaps he knew he couldn’t top this instant, subgenre-defining masterpiece.

Best songs: “Slumlord,” “Dear Skorpio Magazine”

#4: Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015)

‘80s nostalgia was all the rage in the 2010s. And with apologies to Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, Neon Indian, Daft Punk, The 1975 and many more who dabbled in Reagan-era throwbacks, that sound has a modern queen. And her name is Carly Rae Jepsen.

Emotion is such a perfect ‘80s pop album that it might be better than just about every actual ‘80s pop album (except Purple Rain and Thriller – I’m not that contrarian). Each song is deliriously catchy and stuffed with more hooks than should be legal. From the braying sax intro of the legendary album opener “Run Away With Me” to the glittering synths and slap bass of the energetic closer “When I Needed You,” every moment is euphoric.

Of course, we can’t talk about Emotion without discussing that technically, it flopped as far as sales go. Did Jepsen take too long to follow up the mega-smash “Call Me Maybe”? Did the label not promote it enough? Was the public just determined to define the British Columbia singer as a one-hit-wonder? Personally, I think it’s the latter — “Call Me Maybe” just sounds like the kind of goofy novelty song that comes as the singer’s only hit.

But Emotion is a defiant middle finger to anyone to who wants to define Jepsen by one song. At least a third of this album is better than “Call Me Maybe,” and the rest is on the same level. If you love synthpop, and you still haven’t heard Emotion, please do yourself a favor. Spend some time with the defining bubblegum pop album of the 21st century — I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Best songs: “Run Away With Me,” “Your Type”

#3: Melodrama by Lorde (2017)

On the surface, Melodrama and Emotion have a lot in common. Both Lorde and Carly Rae Jepsen took a long time to follow up their gargantuan, decade-defining hits with new albums. Both struggled to get a follow-up hit on their sophomore records (although at least Lorde had a second hit off her debut — remember “Team”?). And these two sophomore records happen to be the best two pop albums of the decade.

But that’s where the similarities end. Just like how “Royals” is an entirely different animal than “Call Me Maybe,” Melodrama is brilliant for very different reasons than Emotion.

In some ways, it makes sense that Melodrama didn’t pump out any hit singles. It’s a whispery, nocturnal concept album that doesn’t sound anything like 2017′s hits. Even the catchier tunes, like “Homemade Dynamite” or “Perfect Places,” have an undercurrent of nihilistic hopelessness to it, and not in the trendy “rich and sad” style that made Lil Uzi Vert and Post Malone stars. It’s more “holy shit, we’re coming of age while the world is burning down and we can’t do a thing about it.”

Earlier, I said Angel Olsen was the best songwriter of the decade. That’s still true, but Lorde is right behind her. Her lyrics are rich with detail and emotional resonance on Melodrama, relatably describing both a breakup and the subsequent partying in an unsuccessful attempt to forget about that breakup. “Liability” might be the decade’s most heartbreaking ballad — and this decade included an entire album about Sufjan Stevens’ dead mom.

“Royals” and Lorde’s debut album, Pure Heroine, showed a lot of promise. But it’s unfortunately all too common for budding pop artists to not meet those expectations. But with Melodrama, Lorde shattered the sky-high expectations she delivered for herself. We thought she could be another solid pop star. It turns out she’s actually the first Gen Z generational icon, and deservedly so.

Best songs: “Green Light,” “Liability”

#2: Teens of Denial by Car Seat Headrest (2016)

Like many Millennials and Gen Zers, I occasionally struggle with depression and anxiety. And although I can’t entirely relate to every moment on the album, there wasn’t a record this decade that encapsulated those emotions better than Teens of Denial, the decade’s greatest indie rock album.

Car Seat Headrest frontman/songwriter Will Toledo’s lyrics are painfully personal and embarrassing. It’s not entirely clear if these lyrics are based on his experiences or if he’s just an insightful storyteller, but Teens of Denial is powerful either way. The album’s loose narrative is about a guy who is not only depressed, but is surrounded by a world that seemingly heightens his depression at every step.

This is most bluntly shown on the roaring, angsty opening track “Fill In The Blank” — where the chorus is literally someone telling him, “You have no right to be depressed/you haven’t tried hard enough to like it” — as well as the snarky faux-campfire singalong “Drugs With Friends,” where a bad trip results in the protagonist realizing he’s terrified of his peers and then he imagines Jesus himself casting shame upon him. But half the time, the protagonist brings his problems upon himself, most notably with getting a DUI in the epic, U2-meets-Nirvana arena-grunge anthem “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales.”

Much of the record is Toledo (or his character) wallowing in sadness, which admittedly doesn’t sound like a great time. But like Toledo’s predecessor in Seattle angsty rock, Kurt Cobain, these songs of profound sadness are told via some incredibly catchy, singable (and moshable!) tunes. And Toledo’s vocals are perfect for this style of music, as his voice is both off-kilter and shredded, but still genuinely melodic when the song requires it.

Teens of Denial is an unforgettable experience, something that has to be listened to from start to finish. You might enjoy it more if you find its themes relatable, but the songwriting and ‘90s retro rock sounds are so incredible that almost anyone could find it irresistible if they’re willing to get angsty for an hour.

Best songs: “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales,” “Destroyed By Hippie Powers”

#1: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West (2010)

The first words sung in My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy are, “Can we get much higher?” The answer is no. This album is the peak not only of Kanye West’s confusing career; not only of the decade; but of the entire genre of hip-hop.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is one of those all-time classic untouchable albums that will soon be required listening for any budding music nerd, up there with Sgt. Pepper, Born To Run, Purple Rain, OK Computer and The Blueprint. To name it as my favorite album of the 2010s is a painfully obvious, and possibly even dull pick. Pitchfork, which gave the album an insanely rare 10/10 upon release, had it at #2 on their decade-end list — possibly to be cheeky, possibly as retribution for West’s recent heinous actions.

Kanye West is an extremely flawed man, as we all know. I don’t need to recap his wrongdoings. But in some ways, his numerous mistakes just make Dark Twisted Fantasy even more resonant today. The album is partly about Kanye being a deeply troubled person, being aware of that, and yet being unable to change that no matter how hard he tries. He didn’t embrace his megalomaniacal tendencies like on Yeezus, but instead the album feels like an anguished cry for help. The three-minute autotune outro to the album’s breathtaking centerpiece, “Runaway,” literally sounds like that. And even the brag-rap bangers, like “Monster,” “So Appalled” and “Hell of a Life” have a menace to them.

Dark Twisted Fantasy is West at the full extent of his powers. Every single one of his strengths is amplified here. His lyrics, always a little corny and random, are entertainingly and quotably so. He brought out magical performances from guest stars, from Rick Ross’ smooth-as-hell verse on “Devil In A New Dress” to Nicki Minaj’s unhinged, career-best performance on “Monster.” There’s never been better production on a hip-hop album — impressive, considering the record jumps from style to style frequently.

But most importantly, Dark Twisted Fantasy is insanely ambitious. West had a vision, he exiled himself to Hawaii with his team, and he put his nose to the grindstone. It was when his music was the only thing he cared about — not his shoes, not the Kardashians, not Donald Trump. And that dedication was rewarded with a true masterpiece. West will never get any higher than this. And arguably, nor will music in the 21st century.

Best songs: “Runaway,” “Gorgeous”

#best albums of 2010s #rock #hip hop #pop #indie

1 note · View note