#so i thought i'd sleep it in

[barghest-land]

ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

I want to carry this scene with me a little while...

[arttsuka]

Sorry for this super depressing poll but

[vaggieslefteye]

CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

[tennessoui]

emerging from a fugue state just in time for wip wednesday

Vokara Che sits down across the desk from him with a pinched expression on her face. “I was under the impression that Master Kenobi called for this appointment, Master Skywalker.”

He did. Or, more precisely, his healing portal account did. Which Anakin accessed and then used to type out a missive in his master’s voice requesting to meet as soon as possible.

“Right, well,” Anakin says, shifting in his seat. “Something came up.”

Che does not look impressed. “Be that as it may,” she says delicately, “I am unable to discuss a patient’s medical history with a third party if the third party is neither present at the time nor has given me direct permission to do so.”

Anakin stares, feeling the first flickerings of real, dangerous fury well up in his gut. “But,” he says carefully. “He’s still sick. He, uh. Told me about it. And then we found a solution. To the problem.”

“The problem,” Che repeats, tilting her head and looking at Anakin as if she’s intent on studying him. 

“The hanahaki,” he spits. It’s a disgusting word. It’s one of the worst words he’s ever learned, and he can’t believe she’s making him say it. He can’t believe she’s being so—so cold when he’s telling her that Obi-Wan is still ill, that Obi-Wan is still dying, that Obi-Wan needs to be here to see her and he’s not. “Look,” he adds, leaning forward in his chair, “a few months ago a series of files were uploaded accidentally to my healing portal, but they were notes from one of Obi-Wan’s appointments. They were your notes from Obi-Wan’s visit. I know you know I know.”

Vokara Che looks at him and then looks down at the datapaad in front of her, lips thinned and lekku twitching. “I must apologize then,” she says, swiping through the files in front of her until she finds something that she lingers on. Her fingers dance across the screen of the datapaad, then it goes dark. “For the breach in ethicacy that you and Master Kenobi both experienced because of the Halls of Healing. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, Master Skywalker. All files that were incorrectly uploaded have been deleted from your healing portal.”

Anakin looks at her and bites his cheek hard enough to bleed so that he doesn’t start screaming instead.

[karleksmumskladdkaka]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 7 Mukami Ruki Animate Tokuten Drama CD: “Sleeping Together ★ With Vampire"

Audio

No, not that kind of sleeping together.

...And yet somehow not really the other kind either because despite it's title there is LITTLE TO NO SLEEPING TOGETHER GOING ON AT ALL except at the very end TᴖT TᴖT TᴖT My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

Ok ok I'm obviously being overdramatic. Misleading name aside the CD is enjoyable and cute just...not at all in the way I was expecting (that being something akin to the Sleeping Vampire Scenario from Vandead Carnival but, alas, no). But oh well, I got to hear Ruki be all deredere towards the end so it's fine I guess lol

Ideally I'd create an actual translation to go along with this (I might do so sometime in the future, unless someone more competent does it first) but for now I've put a summary of the story under the cut. I ask that you please have mercy on me though, I am not used to writing this kind of stuff and it probably shows >﹏<;

Regardless, I hope you enjoy ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ ⋆⁺₊☽⁺₊⋆

UPDATE: The CD now has an actual translation courtesy of my fellow Ruki stan @otomehonyaku o(^o^)o please go check it out if you haven't already!

[Disclaimer: I always allow my stuff to be used for translation purposes, as long as I am credited. But please do not reupload the audio anywhere]

Summary ~*×*☆*+*~

[Please note that there may be mistakes or I might've misinterpreted parts of the CD. I apologize in advance (╥﹏╥)]

The CD starts with Ruki encountering Yui, who is carrying an unusually large package. Curious, Ruki asks her what she's doing, and learns that Kou has tasked her with delivering the package to him (Ruki). Ruki is somewhat perplexed as he doesn't recall requesting anything of the kind. Yui suggests that it might be a surprise gift, but Ruki is skeptical. He wants to ask Kou directly but is reminded that he is currently away on a location shoot. With a resigned sigh, Ruki decides that he has no choice but to open the package in Kou's absence. He asks Yui to hand the package to him, and then invites her to come along to his room to find out what's inside. She eagerly accepts, and they head off together.

In Ruki's room they take a seat (on what I assume to be the sofa) and open the package. Inside, there are various wooden pieces resembling parts of something, along with a letter from Kou. Ruki reads the letter aloud and it's revealed that the package contains a (*drumroll*)... puzzle! And not just any puzzle but a ✨️3D puzzle✨️. In the letter Kou encourages Ruki and Yui to assemble the parts together to discover what they will form. Since he's got spare time on his hands Ruki decides to have a go at it, with Yui joining in.

After a while of working on the puzzle, Ruki asks Yui how her part is coming along. She shows him, and he comments that she's doing better than he anticipated. He helps her out with some difficult pieces before instructing her to continue on her own. Yui asks Ruki if this is his first time putting together a 3D puzzle, and he replies that he's tried some before, but that this particular type is new to him. Yui is eager to learn what it is they are building, and Ruki, not wanting to dampen her anticipation, pretends he still can't quite figure out what the finished thing will be either (awww ♡). Ruki suggests that rather than moving their mouths they should focus on moving their hands as with their current pace the puzzle won't be finished. He reasons that the faster they move the sooner they'll have their curiosity satisfied. Yui agrees to work faster and Ruki promises to do the same.

They pick up the pace and eventually the puzzle is done. The assembled pieces have formed a small foreign castle, and Ruki reveals that he suspected as much from the start. He surmises that Kou must have remembered their expressed desire to visit such a castle after seeing one by chance on one of his TV shows. Ruki acknowledges Kou's attempt to make the two of them happy in his own way. He praises Yui for doing a great job despite not knowing what they were actually assembling, noting that the part she made fits perfectly into the castle.

However, there is no response from Yui, causing a puzzled (ahaha) Ruki to remark on her lack of reaction to something she had been so excited about. Turning his head to the side to look at her, Ruki discovers that she's fallen asleep with her head resting on his shoulder. He comments on the privilege of such a sleeping position but acknowledges that it's understandable she'd fall asleep since it's past their usual bedtime. She had seemed so engrossed in their work that he didn't notice her drifting off.

Ruki carries Yui to his bed and gently places her there, saying that she should have just told him that she was tired. He realizes that she likely made an effort to stay awake until the end, though she ultimately fell asleep. Deciding that it would be a good time for him to go to sleep as well, he tidies up and hides the little castle under the table, so that he'll be able to see Yui's reaction to it in the morning.

Returning to the bed, Ruki asks Yui to scoot over to make room for him, but she's sleeping too soundly to hear. He lies down next to her and (in true Mukami Ruki fashion) begins observing Yui's sleeping face. He notes how relaxed her expression is and wonders if it's because she's tired out from using her brain (lmao rude). Ruki then ponders what kind of face Yui will make when she wakes up—will she feel guilty for falling asleep before the puzzle was finished, or will she be surprised and embarrassed to find him laying next to her? Regardless of what her reaction will be, Ruki knows that it'll be enjoyable to witness. But he's certain she'll be happy once she sees the completed puzzle and admits to himself that he really wants to see that expression on her face. He's aware that it's out of character for him, and thinks that he might even have trouble falling asleep from the excitement (asdfsdjfj this is too fucking cute I can't)

Ruki decides that he should thank Kou for the useful gift by making him his favorite food for dinner tomorrow. The mention of dinner causes Yui to stir (what a relatable Queen), and Ruki teases her for being greedy. He assures the still-sleeping girl that she doesn't need to worry; he'll make her favorite dish as well as a reward for her hard work on the puzzle.

The CD ends with Ruki saying how he looks forward to seeing Yui's reaction the following day.

Fin ~*×*☽*+*~

- _(´ω`_)⌒)_

[autistickaitovocaloid]

happy holistar day (eve) everybirdy

[one-flower-one-sword]

well I know what you want from me you want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception setting you free won't you come and dance in the dark with me? show me what you are, I am desperate to know nobody better than the perfect enemy and I know what you want from me you want the same as me my redemption, eternal ascension setting me free

for @bladesmercy's fic The Fear of Falling Stars

[skywalker42]

What people think ADHD is:

So I went to my room to grab sticky notes to leave my roommate a reminder on the dryer but then I saw my week old mug on my nightstand so I went to put it away and then when I was in the kitchen I realized there's no room for it in the cabinet and now I'm measuring the wall for shelving units.

Which, yeah, it is that. It's definitely that. But it's also this series of texts I sent to my friend this morning:

[sky-scribbles]

What is Essek's Wisdom score?

(aka, a totally unnecessary ramble about one drow and his dnd mechanics by me, a tumblr user who should be asleep)

Last episode, we got a rare hint about Essek’s Wisdom score, in the form of Fearne’s attempt to sneak a look at his feet while he slept. Whatever Essek’s passive perception is, it was ‘just enough’ to catch Fearne, with her Sleight of Hand check of 9. I made a joke about this giving Essek a pretty low Wisdom score, and several people pointed out that because Matt halves his characters’ passive perceptions when they’re sleeping, Essek’s Wisdom would actually be around the 18-20 mark. But this… might not necessarily be the case.

Now, I did honestly mean that post as a joke and not any actual theorising on Essek’s mechanics, but since people got me thinking, let’s crunch some numbers! (Huge thanks to the folks over on the Essek discord for helping me with the maths here! Also, disclaimer that all of this could be disproven next episode, and I am fine with that. I enjoy doing dnd maths anyway, because I am a nerd.)

So: if Matt remembered the house rule about halving the passive perception while a character sleeps (and he doesn’t always), this would give Essek a passive of 18-20. But does this mean his Wisdom is 18-20? Actually, no! For a start, if he had no other bonuses to perception (and I’ll get to that in a second), this would give Essek a bonus of +4 or +5, which would make his awake passive just 14-15, and his sleeping passive 7. Not enough to catch Fearne. But: it might well be the case that Essek simply has Perception proficiency, in which case, he wouldn’t need a Wisdom of 18+.

While Essek, being an NPC, obviously doesn’t conform to PC rules, it’s worth bearing in mind that all elf PCs get perception proficiency for free from their Keen Senses trait. Perception would therefore be a pretty reasonable proficiency for Essek to have, even if it didn’t make sense from a character perspective – which it does. He is, after all, constantly having to look over his shoulder for assassins (and even before he was, having a keen eye out for trouble would be a useful asset in his former courtly intrigues.)

So what does this mean for his passive perception? Well, he appears to be the equivalent of a level 17-20 wizard, if his use of a ninth-level spell slot is anything to go by. With the caveat that he doesn’t have to use player rules (just attach that caveat to, uh… everything I say in this post) that would give him a + 6 proficiency bonus. If this is true, then all Essek needs for a waking passive perception of 18 is actually a Wisdom modifier of just +2, i.e. a Wisdom score of 14 or 15. (A baseline of 10, plus 2 from his Wisdom, plus 6 from proficiency). This would allow his halved passive to be at least 9, and let him catch Fearne in her sneaky feat of feet-peeking. If we make his Wisdom any higher than this, I don’t think we can qualify Matt’s ‘just enough’ statement.

But wait! There are more options! Unlikely ones, but options worth bearing in mind, nonetheless. We know Matt is on board with giving his allied NPCs feats; indeed, Essek himself has the War Caster feat. So it’s entirely possible that he might also have the observant feat. This would be a very logical choice from a roleplaying perspective considering Essek’s current status as a fugitive.

Having this feat would add +5 to his passive perception. Let’s say Essek has no Wisdom bonus at all, but has this feat and is proficient in perception. In this case, his passive while awake is 21 (a baseline of 10, plus 5 from Observant, plus 6 from profiency). That's a sleeping passive of 10: just enough to catch Fearne in the act. We could actually dump his Wisdom into the negative and he'd still be able to just barely notice her.

If you shook me and asked me to tell you what I actually think Essek’s Wisdom is, I’d guess at his Wis being at that ~14 mark I pitched earlier. I think this would make sense from what we’ve seen of him – yes, he has done some completely dumbass things, but he’s shown a level of self-reflection and self-awareness, especially after his redemption arc kicked off, that I think a Wisdom of about this number is justified. I wouldn't be surprised to find it was lower or higher, though; Wisdom is a wibbly stat to define at the best of times and you can make a case for Essek being just about anywhere on the number scale.

A stat of ~14 also works for me from a character construction perspective: we already know he has an Intelligence of around 22, and a decent Charisma; back in campaign 2, the Nein regularly had to roll Insight checks of 20+ to see through him, indicating a high Deception. So I’m hesitant to pitch his Wisdom too high; this might just be my own personal preference as a DM, but I’d be unlikely to roll up an NPC ally with high numbers in all three mental stats. Give ‘em some lower scores to keep things spicy, y’know?

(As a side note, Essek’s Dexterity is a very serviceable 16, and I suspect that his Charisma is at least equal to that. Having scores of 16+ in four stats would be a bit much, imo, even if his Strength and Constitution are probably much, much lower.)

A final point: one thing we can rule out is Matt allowing Essek to use his regular, un-halved Passive while trancing, since he didn’t remember that Essek could trance until Laura reminded him (bless them both), and I’m pretty sure the Fearne incident happened before she did. Though I should say again, considering that Matt can and does forget rules from time to time… it is also true that Matt might’ve just forgotten about halving the passive score. If he did just forgor, this entire ramble is meaningless but oh well.

Tl;dr: we don’t know, but a reasonable guess would be to say that his Wisdom is about 14. I guess I’ll just sit here and hope that Matt may eventually release his statblock (and an explanation of how he made his dad so mad he died. Hi, Matt Mercer, not to beg but please –)

[melit0n]

I will never stop talking about how comforting the line "Oh, but worry not" followed by that gorgeous ass piano in Missing Limbs is.

Like whatever you say man; mind is cleared, I'm in my lane, I'm unbothered and moisturized like tf

[journey-to-the-attic]

there's a moment in lesson 45 of nightbringer where mc falls off a thing (again?? is this foreshadowing?? i'm going to rule-of-three this and wait to see if it happens again) and satan tries and fails to grab their hand to catch them, but now i'm imagining the same thing happening with satan and ik except he does succeed, but it's her right hand and the prosthetic just POP comes straight off

[osamusriceballs]

Kinktober Day 7 <3

Noya x overstimulation

Warnings: NSFW, fem reader

Words: ~ 1,1 k

Kinktober Masterlist II -> Next day

"Just a bit more?"

His voice sounds excited and cheerful while he stuffs another finger inside- three of them now pumping continuously in and out of your pussy. You nod, your whole body tensing as you clench involuntarily around his digits.

The first two orgasms have left your body overly sensitive- yet so pleasurably exhausted. Noya is relentless as he keeps on licking and sucking on your pussy, making sure to lap up every drop off your folds that you spill. "You taste so good," he groans, his lips still attached to your clit, his fingers curling eagerly when he feels you clenching around him.

"Slow down-" you whine, your legs caging his head and trying to stop his movements, a futile attempt though. "I know you can give me one more. Just one more, baby." He doesn't even take breaks to breathe, his need for oxygen basically forgotten as he keeps on eating you out, your whines seemingly only spurring him on. Noya expertly moves his tongue along your slit, slowing down a bit occasionally when he feels you tensing up too much and speeding up when he hears you gasping for air. The sensation turns more pleasurable and intense as he keeps on feasting on you, the tip of his tongue flicking your nub just enough to send wave after wave of pleasure through your body, and you soon find yourself grinding against his face, your legs now trying to prevent him from moving back.

"You like that?" he rasps against you, the movements of his lips vibrating though your body as his fingers pump in and out of you, his middle finger grazing your sensitive spot every now and then. "Hmm, 'm too sensitive- but, yes, keep going, please-" your hands grasp his brown strands desperately, torn between wanting more and feeling so sensitive to every single of his touches. He complies when he hears you begging, his saliva and your arousal coating his chin while he licks you, his groans and moans vibrating deeply against your body. The tip of his tongue flicks your clit, the sensation almost bordering pain after you came so many times already, but it feels so good.

He picks up his pace, his fingers pumping faster inside of you, filling you up so, so good, making your eyes roll back and your head fall back into the pillow. "That's it, baby, let go for me, give me everything-" he barely parts from your body, making sure to keep on giving you more and more of his tongue and his fingers, and you find yourself giving in again, your body arching into his face as you reach your high. The sensitivity makes you feel like your body is overflowing with pleasure, all your mind can focus on is how good he makes you feel. He groans when he feels you clenching around his fingers, eagerly doing his best to extend your orgasm and keeping his ministrations just right to have you screaming his name.

You writhe underneath his tongue, barely able to form coherent words, and when you stop shaking, only then does he slow down his movements, slowly pulling his fingers out of your pulsing cunt and giving your folds one long last lick before he pulls away. His smile never leaves his face as he presses a kiss against your lips, and you slowly realize what his intentions are.

"You said one more- I don't think I can cum again," you protest weakly, your walls still clenching in the aftershocks of the orgasm.

"Shh, let me take care of you, okay?" his lips find yours again, and you find yourself giving in, allowing him to lay your body back to the bed and to cover your body with his. He always knows how to make you feel good, how to draw orgasm after orgasm out of your sensitive body, a skill that he has perfected ever since you both started dating, easily adapting to all of your needs. Your hands roam along his back, feeling the muscles and soft skin under your fingers while you deeply inhale his fresh and ocean-like smell. A gasp leaves your lips when he lines his cock up at your entrance, pushing it in without further warning. You're so sensitive, you whine at the stretch, at the sudden feeling of having his cock inside. His lips quickly find yours and swallow your whimpers while you cling onto his shoulders and wiggle your hips underneath him.

His cock hits just the right spots, your body feeling so overly sensitive that you don't think you can come anymore, yet it still feels so good, feels so good to have him inside of you, to have him fuck you like you need it. He's rock hard, hard ever since he started to eat you out, you're sure that he's sensitive too at this point. "Feels so good, love you so much," he moans, his gaze hazy while he feverishly kisses you, and a shiver runs down your spine while he keeps on kissing you messily, your own taste now on your tongue when he pushes it inside your mouth. You return the kiss just as eagerly, your nails raking along his back, and you whine when you feel how the pleasure slowly builds up. "Gonna cum, baby, want you to cum for me too, just one more time," he groans the words between the messy kisses you share, your body feeling like you're on fire while he slowly fucks you to another orgasm, his cock just hitting all the right spots and making you see stars, and the second he feels you cum, he's following you suit. You barely notice the way he bites into your shoulder, your body almost feeling like you'll pass out from the pleasure.

"Oh, baby-" he whispers against your skin, kissing the bruise on your shoulder softly and making you feel lightheaded. Your walls clench around him, miking everything out of his cock until he collapses on top of you his breath now deep and erratic.

You bring your hand to the back of his head, slowly massaging his scalp and he hums contently as response at the sweet gesture. His cock is slowly softening inside of you, almost slipping out of you, but you're still feeling so full of him with all his cum inside. A few moments pass like this, while you still try to calm down your body after having felt so so much, until his voice suddenly breaks the silence.

"Y/n?"

"Hmm?" you weakly hum, your hand still buried in his hair and massaging his scalp while he turns his head to kiss your neck.

"Another one?" Your jaw drops and you try to wiggle away from him when you feel his cock harden slowly inside of you.

"NO-"

[rovermcfly]

owen wilson is really running around collecting roles to embody everyone's weirdly specific gay fantasy archetypes. cowboy. priest. businessman from the 70s. math teacher. cowboy again. car.