#so i think it stressed the dogs out a lot tbh. more than it helped them. idk lol hard to say bc i knowww those dogs werent exercised

[piplupod]

man i want a dog so bad rn almost solely so i can have a buddy to go walking with (and also a bit of extra motivation to get out for walks)

i would ask around the neighbourhood to see if anyone wants their dogs walked but 1) thats scary, 2) i would probably not be able to just go for a walk whenever i feel up to it and it'd be a hassle sticking to a schedule or texting/calling them any time i want to walk their dog, and 3) i dont think dogs would like that very much.

"hi im a stranger that u have never met before. i am now going to take you away from your family and walk you around the neighbourhood that u probably have never seen much of bc almost nobody in this neighbourhood walks their dogs, and you will be taken out of ur houes in a way that u cannot escape from or say no to. also you have likely not been socialized so if we come across a rare other dog-walker, i'm going to struggle to get you to not freak tf out at the sight of another dog."

[judasgot-it]

Dad! Jouno headcanons...

He just looks like a stressed as hell father here. Someone help him.

Before ->

To be totally honest, I don't think Jouno would ever plan to be a father. He would never plan to be one simply because he is completely aware of how horrible of a person he is

Why would he bring someone into the world who could be exactly like him? Or worse, he would end up being a horrible parent?

He would just avoid any topic about it.

So parenthood is 100% an accident. Also, this guy would probably try to convince his gf to get an abortion at some point, cause he probably thinks he would make a child that's just that horrible

I feel like the best chance of him becoming a parent would be him not knowing about it when he got arrested and was forced into being a hunting dog. Can't tell your gf to abort when you're in jail ig. Also now he is legally obligated to pay child support. GOTTEM!

Personal theory tho.

He probably wouldn't be jumping for joy at the thought of parenthood tbh. If anything, he is freaking out. I feel like he's in between denial and freaking out. Probably gave some weird rant about the government.

During pregnancy ->

If he's miraculously there (I think the last part is more plausible. This would be his #felonera) then he would be stressed as hell

Dude knows that it's inevitable (unless he throws her down the stairs. or smothers the baby. He probably thinks some weird shit it's Jouno sorry) so now he has to prepare for a very near future of being a father

He can't have sex for what might be the next few years. He has to learn how to take care of a baby. He's made Tecchou-like food combo's now. His life is hell.

Jouno I think would only be dramatic for a month and then get over it quickly -> he has two people relying on him now. Even past his kid being born, he will inevitably have to take care of his baby mom for a while after and will have to provide. Like a dad.

He probably loves the attention and the title it gives him. Probably starts owning it and is thinking 'yeah, actually, I'm going to be an awesome dad' because he gets brownie points for doing the bare minimum as a man

Dude would be kinda ridiculous and do lots of shit just so he can get praise. He's going to be a great dad, so yea, ofc he's going to buy weird useless shit no one would actually use. It's what good dad's do (he's not even pregnant and is suffering from baby brain I think)

Is probably terrified of touching his gf because he is more than aware that his child is in there and it unnerves him. Probably is super freakish about the most random shit, like drinking coffee or going up and down stairs since he can hear whats going on.

His normal level of anxiety goes through the roof during this time. I feel like they won't ever go back down again.

During the birth he would probably be supportive although I think the sounds and smells would be so horrific for him that he would vomit and be kicked out by nursing staff

I feel like the birth was so bad for him to hear (sensitive hearing would be terrible. and smell) that he would be crying as if he pushed a baby out of his hole

Raising that Child (early years) ->

The early years are the worst for him. He still is in a stage between "I want to be a good dad" and "I'm a horrible person I literally have fucking killed people. He doesn't know I have killed people and enjoyed it"

Would have this crisis with a literal baby btw. Probably has full on very serious conversations with his kid about morality when his kid still drinks from the tit

I don't think he'd enjoy being around his kid fully until he starts actually forming full thoughts. Obviously, he loves him, but he enjoys weird kid questions much more than a baby who shits himself

Eggs him on too, tries to make him think until his brain hurts. He thinks it's funny, making a seven-year-old wrap his head around the concept of global shipping and LLCs.

He wouldn't give his kid normal child entertainment. It's all educational and weird shit. Also is very picky about their toys, he's basically a beige mom but its about noises and smells. NEVER give his kid something like slime, he'll go insane.

I think he's 100% the 'bad cop' parent because he would have a lot of rules that a little kid wouldn't get. I feel like the other Hunting Dogs would get on his ass about it

I think Jouno probably worries a lot about giving his kid a good childhood since I doubt his was good - he was alive during the great war as a kid, he turned into a criminal, and he's an ability user. not the best circumstances.

100% has been forced to bring his kid to his job, but he doesn't actually introduce him to any of his actual duties. Torturing? He can't know about that.

Jouno lets his kid hang out with his colleagues -> probably Tachihara, who I think would play the best 'uncle' role out of all of them

Later years ->

Personally, I think Jouno would have a son, but I don't think its a curse. I think it would actually be a sort of blessing, because Jouno was probably a lot nicer of a person before whatever fucked up shit happened that made him the way he is now.

Mentioning this cause I think his son would probably be a direct reflection of who he could have been -> more happy and carefree, and less on the offensive about everything

So when his kid gets older, Jouno is probably some weird guy who tries to tell his kid everything he 'wished he knew at that age'

Probably got his son to have a sex talk from one of the hunting dogs doctors. it was a traumatic bonding experience for the both of them.

He definitely fake kidnapped his kid like 3 times in case something happened. Jouno is a super soldier, but his son is not. He needs to learn how to stab people.

Gave his son a gun/knife. Insists he brings it school, no he does not care if it's against the rules - he literally is the law. His son is also a target, so it is necessary in his eyes.

God please someone stop him he thinks someone is going to murder his son every second of every day

I'm pretty sure his son is some dweeb that Jouno is almost jealous of - like he never got the opportunity to be a dork who cries about homework. he was too busy killing people in his gang at that age

Jouno definitely drops the most insane dad lore. "I killed werewolves in Kenya once" while in the middle of a PTA meeting

Worst PTA mom btw. He WILL interrogate his sons teachers and pull up their records, he is the worst parent. He really shouldn't be allowed there actually

Is a lot nicer to his kid when his son is older.

He isn't his 'best friend' but he tries to do everything he can to be a good dad -> he lives everyday thinking that it'd be his last one with his family, so he tries not to leave with a bad impression

Jouno probably lies awake at night with the thought of what his last words could be to his family

The bitchy teen years would be the worst cause Jouno would probably have the best comebacks, so any sort of argument would be shot down immediately.

i dont think he lets arguments fly at dinner. If he's even there. He would be very busy, so I think his schedule would be erratic. Although I think his son would be the same and stay up at 3 am and get a lecture from him

The hunting dogs all try to teach his son about basic things like shooting and self-defense -> Teruko definitely shot at him once or twice so he knows how to avoid an assassination attempt.

Was actually really proud that his son graduated from school and is a relatively normal member of society. He never even killed someone, that's a high achievement!

[instant-bull]

Misc Kakashi headcanons that I like to bestow upon him (depending on a fic I go and hand pick those I enjoy in a particular scenario):

Starting with basic one: Kakashi is trans. Tbh my rule of thumb for it is "Kakashi is trans in every fic, unless stated otherwise". Btw Kishimoto never outrightly said that Kakashi is NOT trans, so he's trans in canon too.

Hatake clan, similarly to Inuzuka clan, share some doglike traits. This is something I see as practically canon due to Kakashi's keen sense of smell and, you know, the fact he hangs out in a pack of dogs as most of his socialisation.

Kakashi has dog teeth. He eats so fast because his jaws are literally not designed to chew well.

Kakashi is colorblind, and sees more or less like a dog (since we can't precisely simulate dog's vision, I just default to giving him protanopia). It is even funnier for me if you consider that Obito WASN'T color blind. Kakashi popped in the Sharingan eye and not only unblocked special abilities, but also new colors.

Speaking of eyesight, I'm a big "Kakashi has amblyopia" truther. Basically amblyopia, or lazy eye, is a condition in which your vision is shifted to constantly be from your dominant eye's POV, with weak reception from the weaker one. Since Kakashi's eyesight in Sharingan eye worsened with time, and also he didn't use that eye for the most part, his vision is right-eye centric. This might or might not have fixed itself when he got a new eye.

Kakashi has IBS (@kakashihasibs). Self explanatory, this man pumps more stress than blood.

Kakashi is generally a weak sleeper, but especislly during full moons (both bc he's a Hatake dog, but also because he's sensitive)

Kakashi gets sick after eating chocolate. dog.

Kakashi's hair is the way that it is because it's practically dog hair. It gets so fluffy and dense because there's a lot of undercoat. It's also nice to think about considering his change in hair in Shippuden: he's slowly healing his years of trauma and subsequent depression, so the blown undercoat snd tidier hair are a visual representation of that (this also allows for cute fic moments where someone helps him brush it all out)

Anyway please talk to me about Kakashi I love this fucking bitch so much

[oceanwithouthermoon]

the way i have absolutely flooded the kubosai tag is crazy😭most of the recent posts are mine.. my bad..

... anyway, im thinking about kuboyasu picking up different hobbies as a form of anger management, teaching himself coping mechanisms and to use his hands in more gentle ways and let himself make mistakes without taking his anger out in unhealthy ways..

knitting, crocheting, art (he already draws but he wants to do it more and start painting n stuff too), or even scrapbooking or journaling ?? he also already stress bakes/cooks lol.

and since he does it so much, he has so many little pieces of art and he ends up gifting most of them to saiki.. because kubo thinks theyre crappy, but saikis eyes lit up in a way kubo doesnt get to see often when he caught sight of kubos crocheted little pink cat with a suspiciously saiki-like grimace on his face.

so now saiki has all kinds of little knitted/crocheted blankets, pillow cases, stuffed animals, gloves, sweaters, etc. (he made a lot of scarves, bags, hats, coasters, etc. at first since those are easier for beginners, and at first he was keeping them for himself and his mom but the house has too many damn coasters and they do not need that many accessories and sweaters.. so the whole friend group started getting them, but mostly saiki.. and saikis mom started receiving some too).

and little paintings of cats (because kubo definitely loves cats but also saiki just reminds him of one so he draws/paints them for him a lot.. he doesn't know if saiki actually likes them, but he says he doesnt mind so..) and some cute paintings of their friends.. he makes a lot of vent art but saiki obviously does not receive that stuff☠️.

he also tried to learn yoga.. but he learns quickly that he just isnt very good at keeping his hands still and unoccupied for too long.. he might revisit that later, but for now hes just trying to at least learn slow and calculated motions with his hands..

he probably also starts helping kusuo and kurumi with their gardening (because they definitely have a garden). i doubt arens mom has a garden but i bet he could convince her to help him start one after enjoying it with the saikis so much.

the scrapbooking/journaling he mostly keeps to himself.. its mostly pictures of him and his mom, his friends, and him trying to document his feelings in messy pages of writing/doodles/choas..

i love the idea that he starts collecting stickers+fun pens+washi tape to use, which is something he totally would not normally fixate on but he starts getting really excited about it..

tbh it's probably mostly silly stickers from anime he likes, like one piece and dragonball.. a lot of his other interests like the yakuza movies wouldnt have stickers he could get so he just doodles the characters.

but he starts branching out into sillier and more colorful stuff, mostly thanks to chiyo, kokomi, kusuo, and shun. chiyo+kokomi have lots of girly stickers and glitter pens that they give him when they catch wind of the journaling..shun has lots of silly stickers from comic books and theres a surprising amount of harley quinn+poison ivy along with the mcu stuff(mostly spiderman).

chiyo+kusuo have like vocaloid+prosekai stickers, but kusuo mostly is just the reason aren has lots of bright pink+green on a lot of his pages hehe..

anyway, a lot of the gifts he gives to kusuo start getting really.. obvious ? he once gives him this crocheted pink cat with a blank expression and a purple dog whose taller and smiling, both wearing glasses, that are permanently knitted together holding hands☠️and kusuo just.. accepts it. and a lot of the stuff he receives along with their other friends are suspiciously more detailed than everyone elses and there are a lot of hearts and the cat+dog thing becomes a frequent motif and theres so many coffee jelly stuffies and keychains its insane

shun will get like.. a black and red sweater, meanwhile kusuo gets a purple sweater covered in pink hearts+matching gloves+a scarf+socks+a tote bag+a headband ??? aren are ur hands okay seriously

kusuo keeps every single gift obviously, and the first dog+cat plushies along with some other gifts are on his desk so he can look at them literally all the time..

yet somehow they arent dating yet😭aren basically professed his undying love with all the hearts and romantic ass offerings but neither of them have really said anything out loud yet☠️☠️

[starwarsanthropology]

i need to know more about tomo pls i love 'dog with separation anxiety' characters

Ok ok I gotta put this under a cut because hes. rotating inside my head always. Going to put a link to his whole little page i posted bc this gives you Some basic information as to his Vibes.

Tomo is a Corrie medic! He’s got a few different like. personas he puts on depending on context. I talk a lot about his Weird Little Unhingedness persona bc thats when he’s letting is all out without hesitation or shame, which is really fun, but he’s a brother first, then a medic, and then a pathetic little creature.

As a vod and a brother, he is very, very loyal and committed to his siblings. His core guiding motivation is to make things better for them, but because of how he thinks this tends to be an individual focus rather than a group focus; he’ll individually get everyone a blanket before pushing for a new project to get everyone blankets, etc. 

When he’s off duty and relaxed, he tends to be a friendly, nice guy. Will bend over backwards to help a vod, even one he doesn’t know, with minimal questions asked. Not a whole lot of respect for rules and authority; if you can’t indicate the practical reasons behind a standard or regulation, he will probably ignore it at his convenience. HOWEVER, he is also Definitely younger sibling coded and can be a bit of a shithead as a treat. Kind of a doormat and seems easy to bully but once he realizes he’s being teased or bullied he’ll go from the NOOOO!!! NOOO!!! younger sibling tears to I’m A Medic And I Can Tolerate And Shut Down So Much Bullshit on a dime. Likes people, likes to be around people in general, will worry and fret and scold if you’re being a bit reckless but also the biggest enabler in all of the med corps tbh. Believes in happiness and autonomy as a primary element of wellbeing and this drives a lot of that enabling; is the most likely corrie medic to go out of the way to let u keep a scar you want even if it makes his job fixing underlying structures more difficult.

He’s actually quite good at being professional when hes Being A Medic, and honestly can be a little ruthless, in terms of not hesitating to make calls (because that’s how you get people killed). His specialization is in orthopedic and reconstructive/plastic surgery, which in practice means he’s NOT out of medical much when on shift; if he’s called onto site, things are really bad. On a good day he has no emergency cases, but most of his emergencies are cases where there needs to be immediate and dramatic surgical intervention to prevent fatality. Amputations, skin grafts, major muscular trauma, broken bones; he sees a lot of really nasty shit, in his emergency capacity. In a non-emergency capacity, he still sees a lot of unpleasant and upsetting things, because he’s, yknow. reconstructing things and overseeing recovery from skeletal trauma, but it’s much much safer and less stressful. As a result of all this, he has a really strong stomach and a skewed sense of when gore, blood, or guts gets upsetting.

Also in his capacity as a medic, but off-regulation, Tomo provides a lot of suppourt to trans vode with gender-affirming care! He’ll do just about anything that’s not hazardous; he refers for tracheal shaves and bottom surgeries that require significant specialization or more advanced/specialized equipment than he has. But fillers, FFS, top surgery, horomone access? He’s gotchu.

Also; he knows he's cute. He knows people see him kind of as a pathetic little creature. He ABSOLUTELY weaponizes the shit out of this as a medic. he can cry on command because he learned the magical efficiency of just BURSTING into tears on someone avoiding the medbay. If you aren't guilted/made uncomfortable enough to comply he'll just get someone to drug you and haul you off lol

He’s a really affectionate, friendly, and easygoing guy overall, but the part of him that i talk about most often is his Little Freak setting. This is a manifestation of extreme seperation anxiety. He’s good at respecting verbal boundaries but is a Stage 5 Clinger. He will follow you into the bathroom if ur having a conversation and not notice until ur like excuse me that its weird. He’s really scared of loosing people, either to death or just to the vast distances of the galaxy, so he really really wants to be like. tangibly tied to people. This is where his cannibalism schtick comes from like he cannot imagine a closer intimacy than the physical substance of one’s self being intergrated into the other through consumption…. carry him with you forever and vice versa….. woah…..

@mamuzzy also pulled a GALAXY BRAIN take putting him w Mereel in that one art. Rotted my brain hard for them as a cringefail couple where their respective toxic traits slide off each other like water off a duck. I have a Lot of meta for that im not going to elaborate on too much beyond tomos tendancy towards clinginess being satisfied by mereel pinging him when he’s away, mereel being unbothered and indulgent of his weirdness, and tomo being game enough to help mereel that mereels habit of social engineering and manipulation to get what he wants doesnt have a chance to get toxic bc tomo is already willing give mereel whatever he wants with the ironclad exception of endangering his patients, which he is too stubborn and protective to be manipulated directly about anyway.

I decided that they met bc mereel needed to change his apperance for smth, hooked up w tomo (convenient emotionally vulnerable mark! yippee!) to gain access to medical supplies, was asking about a kind of filler (intended use for joint injuries but off-label use as a filler) to figure out if he can self-administer it and Tomo was immediately like oh i can administer it if you want to try! It’s easy to dissolve if you don’t like it! Mereel agreed, Tomo put in the temporary fillers, and they both walked away from the encounter satisfied and with each other’s contact information in their pocket.

It is very important to note that while Tomo IMMEDIATELY recognized Mereel was interested in the filler’s capacity to change facial structure and apperance, he did not realize Mereel wanted apperance-altering interventions for a mission until months later when someone pointed out he is a black ops specialist and got together with Tomo to use his skills n specializations.  He had fully been working on the assumption that Mereel had just been interested in gender exploration even after they had an established pattern of Tomo administering temporary cosmetic procedures for Mereel’s missions

ANYWAY thank u I love him he is so deeply strange. just an odd little dude.

[isadollie]

hello, how are you doing? i hope you're doing well.

may I request a long matchup within the tokyo revengers fandom (any timeline works)?

name: ryuu/key

gender: male

pronouns: he/they

sexuality: queer

i'd prefer being matched with a guy.

likes: anime, writing, reading, cats, the dark, music.

dislikes: loud noises (minus music), crowds, dogs.

i mostly write and/or listen to music in my free time, though it's usually a combination of both.

i really like darker/muted aesthetics, i'm not exactly sure what it'd be called. in regards to clothes, i prefer grunge, if that helps.

appearance: kinda scruffy/messy shoulder length dark brown hair, green eyes, pale skin, 5'8

personality: i don't really like interacting with people in person outside of immediate family. i'm more than a bit reclusive and tend to get overwhelmed in chaotic or even just crowded or loud social settings. in groups, i usually try avoiding attention and just listen to the conversation since having all eyes on me makes me uncomfortable. some people have called me rude since i tend to be a bit blunt or overly honest when stating my opinion. i don't really have a lot of friends, so i'm not always sure how to act in social interactions. none of this is to say that i intentionally try to be a jerk, i do try to be friendly and polite to people, i just sometimes miss social cues which leads to awkward situations.

mbti: intp-t

dream birthday present: i'm actually not sure. uh. another cat?

love language: words of affirmation + quality time. there was another that i remember reading online but i can't remember the name of it; it's basically where you and someone you're close to (ex. a partner) can be sitting in the same room, not actually interacting, you're both okay just being in the same room as them while doing separate activities.

a side note: i do tend to revolve around quieter/calmer people since loud people stress me out.

sorry if i missed anything and that it's pretty long.

— matchup —

i match you with...

Mitsuya Takashi!

★ we all know our cat lovers Chifuyu, Baji, etc. but i think Mitsuya would be amazing with them as well. his gentle nature makes all the animals stick to him

★ one of the reasons why i chose him for you is because you said you prefer to be around calmer people, so there you have him! he isn't really one to be loud all the time, would shush anyone if that meant making you comfortable

★ ngl, he's the type to make you clothes as a present, without needing an occasion tbh. you mentioned to him once what kind of clothes you like to wear, and the next thing you know is that Mitsuya hasn't been sleeping all night, busy sewing you a new shirt

★ his favourite activity after a long day: a calm, late night walk outside

★ quality time is his thing imo. he would love to just sit around, doing separate things while listening to some music in the background. no need for talking all the time; just each others presence is enough

★ always offers you comfort and words of encouragment whenever you feel bad. just loves to take care of you in general

★ Mitsuya is that type of person who you can always turn to for advice, and he'll make sure you know it well

★ would love to introduce you to his friends!

sorry that it took so long:/ your second match was chifuyu!

[canis-dentem]

how/when did you know you were a therian? like- when did you make the connection; how did you know you were caninekin specifically?

I’m tryna figure stuff out for myself and don’t know where to start. I don’t think I’m a therian, but I’ve always done some kind of animal-ish things (used to have the urge to hiss/snarl/snap when due to annoyance when I was younger, I have the urge to make creature noises pretty often, sometimes my mental image of myself when doing something feels more different, like. tall and elegant?? like sometimes when I turn my head I like. imagine/feel kind of a sloping neck and longer face/muzzle and limbs, canine-y (imagine a maned wolf/african wild dog/other canine) I don’t know how to explain it— but I’m not sure if the noises and biting are some kind of stimming due to my ADHD or not). I also heard the term “otherhearted” as having a deep connection with something, which. mmmmaybe me? so I’m gonna look into that.

anyways woah I rambled a lot more than I intended to but. yeah! I just wanna know what others’ experiences are like so I can see if mine relate to them lol

hi anon!!

tbh, i only awakened of around march of this year. i had never entered therian or otherkin circles, although i knew about it. one of my friends telling me star was a feline otherkin was what got me thinking like.... oh, that's a thing we can do? it happened to me with being trans, too, LOL--it didn't click for me that i could be something until someone close to me was.

what got me thinking was my brain kept saying "ugh i wanna be otherkin. that'd be so cool" and then i looked back on things i've done my whole life and like. oh that was a wolf thing. oh that's a dog thing. oh huh. it has been here. something that helped me when i was researching being autistic/having adhd was i kept a list of my symptoms as i noticed them, so i did that for being a therian. i have my little list of canine "symptoms" that i either notice myself doing or have remembered doing, some of which include feeling the urge to chew a lot, feeling longer canine teeth/wanting longer canine teeth, the urge to bare my teeth and growl when angry, always playing the worgen race in world of warcraft, among others. some of these (like baring my teeth/growling) were things i taught myself not to do bc "it wasn't normal." (i connect that to the 17 years of autism masking i did, so much so that i didn't know i was autistic and nobody around me did either.)

about stimming: me feeling the urge to chew is a stim. it is also connected to me being caninekin. it can be both!! stimming doesn't cancel out being a therian. plus, for me at least, i dont think i'd be otherkin if i wasnt autistic. you only mentioned adhd, not autism, but keep in mind that neurodivergency can and does often interact with alterhumanity.

i don't typically label my alterhumanity as spiritual (as in past-life) or phsycological, because honestly, i don't really care to know. i have it, and that's what matters to me. but being otherkin does overlap with my spirituality in the sense that i feel some yet unexplained connection with the woods. i always have. it makes sense to connect that to being otherkin, even if that's not the only explanation for it.

you can absolutely consider yourself otherhearted, if that makes sense for you! my suggestion? don't worry too much about the label. the word isn't actually super important. there's a big emphasis in this community on figuring out the specific type of animal you are, the specific type of otherkin (or -hearted etc) you are, where it comes from, etc. i don't think that's worth stressing yourself out about, not at all. if it works for you, it works for you--by all means, go ahead. if the process of finding a really specific 'type or word to call yourself brings you meaning and fulfills you, please do it!! i'm all for it. but if it stresses you out to figure out the finer details, let them go. it's okay. in my opinion, the biggest question is not "am i really a therian?" and instead, is, "does it make sense/bring me joy/fulfill me to connect myself to an animal?" if it does, move on from there.

good luck, anon! sending all my love to you. feel free to send any updates about your experience, if you wish to! i hope ur having a wonderful day <3

[wejustvibing]

As much as it hurts not seeing him with them anymore because he truly loved that team and there was even talks about him being a future ambassador for them forever even when he retires but i can’t help but feel the treatment he got ever since 2021 didn’t help at all it was one of the most heartbreaking moments in his life and they didn’t take his side like they should… and they brought us toto’s lap dog and he’s taking credits for everything and ignoring lewis in everything never gonna forget lewis’s obvious heartbreak in singapore this year or even worse the qatar one where they literally humiliated him by shoving a camera to his face and apologizing to woody and not giving a damn about his feelings..💔

It hurts because this is so not the way it was supposed to end between them at all for sure a lot of Mercedes employees adore lewis and are just shocked and broken over this news

And Ferrari is just i don’t know what to say if they’re not gonna be in a winning path it’s just a waste of time for him and more stress them being racist is no surprise this whole sport is tbh and they’re all disgusting i know lewis can handle it well he’s been doing it since he was a kid but i just need to see him back to his winning thriving ways and for him to finally being happy that’s it i most definitely wanted to be at the place he called home for more than a decade but it is what is and him being happy and relieved is what really matters to me.

P.S, can’t wait for toto to realize how big of a fuck up did he do when he treated lewis like this the past years and i wont be even sad if mercedes is gonna be witnessing a downfall after he leaves🙂

"It hurts because this is so not the way it was supposed to end between them at all for sure"

that part is the realest when i think about it from his point of view. he's had to make this decision, he's had to put himself first under whatever circumstances, the reality of which we might never get to know. this is not some "natural end" like toto has said. but anyway i'm glad he's separated himself enough to understand the reality over wasting time chasing something that's probably only imaginary. once he did that, it must have been a simple pros and cons decision because what really is the difference between merc and ferrari rn for him to stick around with one and getting mistreated vs starting afresh where he feels wanted with the other? none to me. besides, most brains behind the glory days have already left (some are even at ferrari) must have taken a lot freeing himself from the shackles of "we're family" and "this is my home" mentality and i'm so proud of him for doing that. he could have waited out the rest of his years in his comfort zone blaming how things are not improving. instead at 40yo he's betting on himself all over again and taking risk and charge of his own fate. you just have to respect it for what it is

[yandere-sins]

So I thought I’d give a little life-update as there’s a lot going on at the moment and I think it’s visible on my blog as well. Maybe the positives first:

I do really like my new work, I like that I have set hours (even if I do overtime here and there) and though it got incredible stressful the last few weeks, I think the four people that work in my office space are the coolest in the whole company and I love the support I am getting, it’s something I always wanted for my work-life tbh! My dog is also doing very fine, she’s really a total sweetheart and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, and at least I, myself, am doing pretty okay-ish physically, so nothing to complain there.

Now to the negatives.

Unfortunately, my mom’s cancer returned but is quite hard to pinpoint. She went back to an even more aggressive chemotherapy and we’re hoping for the best. Honestly, I don’t wish cancer on anyone, it’s such a tough battle and even just as the primary caretaker it’s been really hard to deal with for me, luckily I have grandparents and a brother who all deal with it and help and support, so that’s good! My mental health though is suffering. It’s biting my own butt now, but I cancelled therapy to focus on work at the beginning of this year and now my therapist is fully booked, so I will have to sit out this month probably. I am telling that because that’s the reason I am struggling with concentrating on one thing for a long time, which includes writing, which explains the fluctuation of posts you are seeing, since I try to get requests and drafts done on the weekend when there’s less stress. Sadly only works like 30% of the time...

Going forward I have decided to indefinitely pause commissions. I have noticed that they put too much pressure with the deadline and expectancy on me when I am already struggling and sometimes need a day to myself. I can’t say when they’ll come back, but thank you all so much for your interest and support, it’s always a pleasure to write your ideas and I never had a bad experience with commission ♥

Good news for Mermay: it’s still happening! ... buuuut I am shortening the story I came up with. I think I was too ambitious with the three routes I teased, so I am trying to figure out how to ensure that it won’t drag out as much as Atreo’s story last year. Unfortunately, the start will be delayed some more, but we were going to celebrate Mer-June anyway, so at this point it probably doesn’t make as much difference (’:

Because the question arose a few times already, I will not be playing Honkai Star Rail. It has a few reasons, but the main one is I don’t have the time. Sorry to everyone who asked about it, but it’s just not the right time for me at the moment! ): I’ll probably be miserable again later when everyone has moved on to it and I am stuck behind but I have to make cuts somewhere ;;

I actually have some commissions and requests that I haven’t released yet, so I will try to schedule some of these in the meantime while I work out how to go about stuff. If you’ve been around for a while you probably know I like routines that’s why it’s always important for me to build them and keep them up. Other than that, I’ll probably focus on Mermay and my own writing projects which will happen rather irregularly. No guarantees on posting, sadly ):

I do realize tho that it just isn’t always possible to keep up frequency of posts and interactions I had when I started this blog, as much as it saddens me. I have to prioritze my real life before my internet presence (and I really need to not feel guilty about taking breaks from everything ever so often ;;), so if you see me vanishing for a few days, it’s just that really.

Thank you everyone who stuck around and supports this blog ♥ There’s another big milestone coming up veeery soon and I am always in awe that so many people would stay to read my silly little stories!! If you have some time and don’t mind waiting for a response, I’m always happy to chat and answer questions, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up!

Thanks everyone ♥

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

I'm tired, stressed and overwhelmed so I'm going to try and vent frustration by ranting about the movie we played for the preschoolers today (tomorrow's Thanksgiving so we're off for a few days so we had a movie day).

So we watched an animated adaptation of "A Christmas Carol" that I didn't know existed but apparently came out last year that was just literally called "Scrooge: Christmas Carol" and boy lemme tell you the movie was as bland and unoriginal as the title.

Tell me this: why would you make a Christmas Carol adaptation and then take out everything from the book?! Like, there are fundamental plot points they skipped in favor of flashy over-the-top special effects that served no purpose and didn't further the story at all.

Anyway, here's the thoughts I typed up on my phone while watching it:

"We should have watched the Muppets Christmas Carol (oh my word that's the first one how telling xD)

Why did they give Scrooge a dog?! He never spent extra money on lamp oil, why would he for a dog?! (dog had -17 narrative value btw)

Too many random characters in this

Scrooge hasn't said humbug enough (Idk if he actually ever DID say it at any point and to be fair the movie wasn't very loud but he SHOULD say it a few times at the beginning it's his CATCHPHRASE)

Why does the ghost of Christmas past look Like That? She's supposed to look like a kid not a candle (also she was irritating)

Too many theatrics (why did they travel through the Time Vortex every time Scrooge went somewhere with the ghosts?! why did reality keep fracturing during musical numbers?!)

Where's my nice aesthetic scene of Scrooge flying over rooftops?

If Scrooge isn't scared witless by the ghost of Christmas yet to come you're doing it wrong.

(at the end when he's changed) Where's him tricking Bob and being mischievous?! (like seriously one of my FAVORITE parts is when he goes to Bob's house like "how dare you not be at work today, jk here's a pay raise :)")

Ugh, this movie was annoying, gorgeous animation but the story was BUTCHERED in favor of special effects.

On the upside, Tiny Tim was adorable."

Also Scrooge wasn't really... how do I say this? I was more annoyed than horrified by him. Like, he's not a *presence* like he should be, he's just kind of grumpy. They tried to portray him as sympathetic from the very beginning which is NOT how he's supposed to be and I think it backfired in all ways. He turns out feeling kind of wishy-washy, not an awful, evil miser, but also not a nice guy.

The whole ending was a mess, it COULD have helped the movie A LOT if they had gone the traditional route but nah, Scrooge invited some random kids into his house and they decorated it offscreen and then all the people he ever wronged just showed up at his house for dinner. No turkey the size of Tiny Tim, no shocking everyone by showing up and being suddenly friendly, Idk, it was just extremely disappointing.

I think the theatrics around the ghosts actually made them less intimidating/frightening, especially the ghost of Christmas future. Like, ghost of Christmas present just kinda melts and turns into Future and there's a storm and a ring of fire and Idk man, it was just too over the top. The whole movie was like that and it just got really old really fast.

And WHY did they give Scrooge a weird tragic backstory? The whole point was that he CHOSE this life, he wasn't FORCED into it by circumstance (I read a review that pointed out that instead of his traditional backstory they gave Scrooge Dickens' backstory and just... why).

Also the songs were totally unmemorable, there weren't even lines or tunes from it that stuck in my head. You know what's been playing in my head instead? Songs from the Muppet Christmas Carol.

The only good thing was that it did keep the kids' focus for quite a bit. Like, for prek it was fine I guess but it was just kind of mind-numbing and annoying as an adult. tbh I think the kids only were interested because of the flashing lights and colors and they largely lost interest after snack and I can't blame them.

I think the movie could have been decent if it had kept the original plot points and had Scrooge be miserly and totally unperceptive to Christmas at first like he is traditionally. They could still have added stuff but they should have kept the original story. Like, I didn't mind the scene where I think??? Scrooge and Marley evicted Bob Cratchit's parents when Bob was a baby. Like, that could have added some interesting depth if they'd DONE anything with it besides show it to us. And Scrooge's "transformation" was so watered down it hardly mattered.

Anyway, it kept the kids entertained for an hourish so I guess that's the important thing, but next time we have a movie day I'm definitely offering to bring something in to watch. xD

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi it's me again lol i started watching spy x family and omfg. i get the hype now. it's so good

matchup(s) for spy x family, bsd and haikyuu pls!! i added some more details

some facts abt my appearance lol: im 4'9 (i am fr), kind of chubby, brown filipino, dark brown hair. also im an istj. 5w6 based on a quiz i took some months ago.

in terms of personality, im naturally quiet lol i can't help it. even when im around ppl i like, im still on the listeners side unless i have something good to say. otherwise im sorry but you'll have to be the one to start convos 😭

my jokes are mean so im kind of afraid to joke around unless ik they can argue back jokingly. and aren't sensitive. i'm also kind of blunt to the point that it's sometimes a problem. i'll apologize obv but man it makes me a little antisocial lol

in spite of istj stereotypes, i (try to) give my criticism very gently. i try to make sure that the other person knows im not judging or insulting but giving advice. i'm blunt but not that blunt

i like helping ppl out & taking care of others, actually. i like feeling appreciated/needed by others. tbh, it's why im aiming to become a nurse if i pass the exams. if i don't, i still want something along those lines. :))

hobbies: reading (aka prowling around in libraries), watching shows, i like cooking too but idk if it counts bc i don't have many opportunities to do it

aesthetic: coquette, femme fatale sort of thing. laces, bows, frills, etc. i like everything on me modest tho

likes : coffee, any hot drink, reading (tho i don't have the mind power these days lol) , scary movies, ghost hunting videos, history docs, romance but with awkward fmcs. taking walks, and... pink.

dislikes : cluttered spaces (i can't handle stuff just being thrown around. i need even a bit of organisation. not much of a clean freak but i need to know where everything is), crowded and noisy places, non-specific instructions (stresses me out fr), not submitting stuff on time bc its embarrassing, awkward situations (ex. meeting someone for the first time)

have a great timezone!! hope ur food is always warm unless u want it cold 🍲

Hi! Thank you for your request! I took out the Bungo Stary Dogs matchup since you mentioned you've already got one before. Sorry this took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Spy x Family, I match you with...

This was a close call between Loid and Yuri, but I think you’d get along slightly better with Loid due to his less boisterous personality.

Loid loves cooking with you and taking walks. There’s not a lot in his life that he finds relaxing but spending quality time with you doing something as mundane as walking or cooking helps him take a load off.

Very clean so no need to worry about clutter. He does his fair share of housekeeping, so you also don’t have to worry about being run off your feet trying to keep the house clean all by yourself.

Admires your desire to help people. That’s one of the main reasons he became a spy, so he values that trait in others greatly. It makes him feel like he can trust you.

Loid is amazing at making you feel needed and appreciated without forcing you to work too hard for it. You hung up his coat for him? Thank you so much. You set the table for dinner before he got home? That’s great, it means you can cook together and have dinner earlier now.

In Haikyuu, I match you with...

You and Kiyoko are the quiet (and kind of intimidating) power couple. While you can both be a bit standoffish, you do like helping people and genuinely care about those close to you.

I see Kiyoko as someone who enjoys watching history documentaries and ghost hunting videos. They’re very different from what people think of when they see her, but I think she finds them intriguing.

Loves taking walks with you! There’s nothing better than being able to finish up with the volleyball team and walking home with the person you care about most.

Speaking of the volleyball team, there’s absolutely no way there’s ever going to be a peaceful or quiet moment with them around. If you’re still uncomfortable in noisy places like this, Kiyoko’s more than happy to meet up with you somewhere quieter.

Sometimes she needs to vent about school or her commitments with the team so she’s very grateful you’re there to lend an ear. Please know that she’s there for you if you ever need to talk as well.

[calliecat93]

2022 was a year where I focused on improving and starting to like myself. To some degree I succeeded, in others I failed. I've taken the steps to improve my anxiety and I'm doing pretty well since starting taking meds. The anxiety is still there, but it's becoming a lot more manageable. As far as liking myself... let's just say that some days are better than others. It's still super easy to fall into that void and be so hard on myself, but I have better awareness as to why I do and how to manage it. Overall I'm in a better space than I was back in 2020 when my anxiety/mental health really went downhill.

This has however affected my online life and Tumblr. I accomplished pretty much nothing. TBH I think it was necessary to both begin focusing on my actual life and to just enjoy being online again instead of imposing these expectations on myself. I hope in 2023 I can begin doing more again, but no promises. I'm taking it day by day. It doesn't help that a lot of my fandoms either had their shows end (Amphibia), I've stepped away from for multiple reasons and plan to remain stepped back when things resume (RWBY, The Owl House), or I've just lost interest in.

Really I'm gonna be honest... I'm in a terrible rut concerning animation. There's barely anything I want to see. Recent decisions like with HBO Max severely impacted my enthusiasm. Some stuff like Bob Iger coming back to Disney helped, but overall... I'm at a low point. I've always been so passionate about animation... but right now it's dead. The last time I got like this when I was 13-14 I got into classical animation to reignite it. But I feel like I've explored every single avenue over and over. IDK, there's just nothing left to excite me and IDK how to reignite the passion this time around. Most stuff I indulge in nowadays are cooking shows, some documentaries, and RuPaul's Drag Race which I doubt anyone's interested in me posting about. I have been rewatching Ed, Edd, n' Eddy which has been fun so maybe 2023 will be better, but yeah... I just hate feeling like this.

As far as RL goes, we lost our dog Lovebug after sixteen years and that was hard. There's some other stuff with some relatives that has stressed me out, but for the sake of privacy I won't discuss it on here. There's also the multiple celebrity deaths/deaths of childhood icons that REALLY hurt. Gilbert Gottfried, Angela Lansbury, Mom McGrath, Emilio Delgado, Pat Carroll, Kevin Conroy, Jason David Frank, and those are just the ones off the top of my head. Otherwise, 2022 wasn't my worst year. There's been a lot of changes, both good and bad, but I've certainly had worst. 2022 was a rough but overall okay year. At least I made it to the end in one piece.

What's in store for 2023? IDK yet. I have some ideas, but I don't want to open up about it quite yet. I'm hoping to get blog stuff running more, but ultimately this is what I do for fun. I need to focus on my actual life. That was probably my biggest takeaway from this year. I also turn 30 in February, so... that'll be fun. I have something big hopefully happening that I won't talk about until closer to the time, but I am SOOOOO excited for it~!

Happy New Year everyone~! See you in 2023~!!!

[keefwho]

September 08 - 2024 Sunday

10:58pm

5.5/10

The first chunk of today was a blur, as usual I took a long time cooking breakfast and I wasn't sure how to start my day. Part of me wanted to spend a lot of time in Cities Skylines but I didn't get around to that. I couldn't even watch my shows because the internet was bad. I kinda messed around and did nothing until JD was free to hang out. We played Planetary Annihilation for a good while. We started off against 2 "bronze" AIs which absolutely swamped us. It was pathetic. Then we fought each other but using only bot factories and I totally smoked him. He got a little frustrated though so I felt a little bad. Although I also feel good because of how he was always the winner when we were kids, especially when it came to RTS games. We hopped on VRchat for a little after that so he could show me this world he found. I didn't think it was very good tbh, especially with the world size but he thought it was cozy. At this point I was feeling the need to talk a little deeper so I asked him how he was. We talked about whats been stressing each other out a bit and that helped. I think he got a lot of benefit out of that, more than me today. Right now and the past couple days I've been feeling strong, like I've been staying true to myself well, making plans, and sticking to decisions. My big focus has been on making sure I'm being myself. I think thats the only requirement I need to have friends or be loved. Also if I keep sacrificing who I am too much for others, I will not be able to take it anymore. I'm forced to respect myself lest I snap.

I was peaking at mods and stuff for PA when DS let me know she was free. We watched some youtube, took a practice drivers test, and then she bought Hades so she could stream it. We moved to my server for that. It was a lot of fun, it was more pleasant to watch than I thought it would be. I knew I'd have fun either way but I really got into it. Unfortunately someone annoying joined for awhile but he did leave eventually. He was backseating and doing that thing where he talks to his pets out loud WAY too much without anyone having any context for what he's doing. DS and I would be trying to listen to the dialogue but he'd be yapping to his dog. In bed we did classic puzzles. I felt like I shared a good sentiment to DS tonight which is not caring or giving into people that might think something about you. Its really toxic behavior I've learned and I hope that sometimes I can help quell that kind of thing because I don't like to see her or anyone else I care about losing themselves to others. I think I'm right with this new emphasis on being myself and I want to spread that to others. True connection happens between 2 entities that identify each other as separate beings. And we can only do that when we act like our own being knowing we will be accepted for it. Either entity bending to the will of the other creates an unbalanced dynamic which often results in harm.

I think a lot like a sleep schedule is the foundation of all scheduling, being yourself is the foundation of many things as well. It's a core requirement to pursue anything higher effectively.

Lately being myself includes accepting how I feel and loving strongly. It also includes making the tough decision to enforce more boundaries and take care of myself in an attempt to be more effective at contributing to my environment in the ways I choose to. Thats whay I want, to be a well functioning individual that helps improve areas I personally think need it. I also want to help my loved ones and let them know that I love them very deeply. It's something I was a little ashamed to admit because my behavior has often been pointed out to be problematic or undesirable. Over time I've taken to believe that my form of "love" is unwelcome so I cannot experience it anymore. I'm not allowed. But I am. Maybe I have made mistakes in the past but they do not bar me from experiencing a basic human need and trying to do it right. I love. I love a lot. I refuse to hide it.

[fentrashcat]

Okay so I said I'd try to write something up today, but it will probably be kind of jumbled. Tbh mostly a vent post.

General warnings for: the shitty side of disability, ablism(i think, adding just incase), mild descriptions of tics and tic attacks, self injurious tics, and probably some other things that I can't think of rn but will update if I do.

⚠️ everyone with Tourette's or tic disorders will have different experiences, this is just mine.

In general, I always say laughter is how I best cope with my tics, but that's been really hard lately.

Over the course of maybe 2 weeks, I've had at least 5 major attacks, most of which is happening in my home, which is where I would usually go to STOP attacks. It's been storm season, my neighbors think 4th of July is month round, my house is getting some repairs, my mom has moved back in with me, and one of her dogs is a puppy. I don't want to say behavioral issues bc she is just a puppy, but she is a chronic chewer and has destroyed quite a few things, as well as being ✨️very✨️ vocal. There is also the general chaos of introducing 2 dogs into a household of 2 cats.

I'm sure I've mentioned it but big triggers for my tics are stress, anxiety, general discomfort, and lack of sleep. Sudden loud/sharp noises will also set them off. I'm of course getting hit from every trigger, constantly, for the past few weeks. Doesn't help that the heat index is 100+F (37.7C) with 80% humidity and I'm on three meds that make me overheat faster than normal.

Along side the attacks I've developed new tics, and had the first urges for directly self injurious tics (I suppressed it and that seems to have stopped it but it was scary as hell). I've hurt myself while ticcing before, but it was always accidental. Like the tic wasn't to hit something it was just to move my arm and something was in the way. These ones however were meant to hurt me.

My new tics are also really frustrating bc they mess with my breathing (I'm already asthmatic and fighting a never ending battle with my lungs), and another one makes me feel physically ill bc it's like my abdomin flexes really hard and squeezes my stomach. I've also developed two new word tics. For comparison I usually get 5 or so new tics a year (ones happening over the course of multiple days, not counting weird one off days), 1-2 might stick around more than a week, and old ones sometimes fade out. I've counted 6 new tics and 2 new urges in just this month.

My family is trying so hard but really struggling to understand how to help/how to handle it. A big thing for me is headphones. My family is aware headphones on for loud things and that they are used to block sound. However, my grandfather will try to talk to me and ask me to do things despite being told I can't hear. I can read lips but he doesn't always face me when talking and when he gets frustrated it makes me anxious. So I either end up ticcing bc I'm anxious, or ticcing bc I had to take off my headphones while it was still loud. If he would just face me when speaking, or text me, or use gestures I would gladly help, but he doesn't think about that.

My mom and aunt also ended up setting me off at a family dinner. They tried not to but it didn't work and set me off multiple times. My mom was trying to tell my aunt about my new word tic and my aunt thought it was an old one. My aunt spelled out one of my tic words, thinking that would avoid triggering it. It still triggered but I suppressed it bc I didn't want to throw my pizza. My mom, thinking it worked, spelled out my new word tic, and set it off. Then one of my dumb triggers got mentioned and I ended up set off again. I know they didn't mean to do it but it really sucked 😅

My family also doesn't really understand that Tourette's is a developmental disorder and that it changes over time. My tics weren't really noticeable when I was younger and had a lot less triggers, thus not being diagnosed until ~17. So I get a lot of comments about how I used to be. "You used to love fireworks!" I know, I still do, I just struggle to watch them knowing that at any moment one wrong timing will set me off. "You never let things stop you before" you're right, I was stubborn as hell. I still am, I just have to be more aware that I DO have limitations. I push those limitations frequently and usually end up suffering for it. Even something like "they weren't this bad last year" like yeah, I know. I am HIGHLY aware that they are worse, idk what you want me to say.

My mom hasn't helped bc it feels like she simultaneously is putting me on a pedestal and being frustrated with me. She has tics, namely echolalia and responses to my tics, but isn't diagnosed Tourettic. She was having tics at work and told her coworkers what they are and that I have them, then follows it up with "being around you makes me feel more comfortable with mine" and I geuss it was meant as I seem at ease with my tics 90% of the time so she's getting more at ease with hers. Which is great of course, I love that she is letting herself be, but the other 10% of the time, when I'm having severe enough attacks that I can't do things, she seems upset that I'm not doing anything.

But bc I'm helping mom feel at ease, I feel weirdly guilty when my tics get me worked up. At one point I even voiced the wish to be "normal" (I hate that word but I was VERY distressed), and my mom was like "you are your normal" or "you don't have to be normal" which is all well and good, but I just threw 3 things in succession, slammed my hand into the window and ticced myself into a migraine. A part of me feels like I'm not allowed to be upset because this was the hand I was dealt and usually I'm really positive about it, so when I'm not positive it feels like a betrayal of myself? Idk how to explain it really. Like "how dare I get upset when my disability disables me! I'm supposed to be inspiration" Despite literally no one except my mom telling me that I inspire them to be comfortable with themselves. It makes 0 sense but I can't logic illogical thoughts into submission.

In conclusion- I'm fucking exhausted and idk what to do anymore. Sorry for the long ass post of me just complaining, ik it's not the greatest read. I hope its at least somewhat sensibly arranged bc i have no brain rn. If you stuck around to this point thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Also if you saw this post when I accidentally posted it unfinished and you came back, thank you so much, I really appreciate your patience.

[gothcsz]

hahahaha I’m like moderately pissed off 😂 the ending from the last chapter helped a bit but I still wanna 🥊 Javi.

August just gives me the creeps and I have no idea what to even think about this prophecy stuff! Crazy shit going on there lmao I always wanna 🥊 him!

I guess I kinda get it tho, like they all have more issues than vogue and all that! I think if it was literally anybody else it wouldn’t have been so bad??? But like Javi doesn’t know everything that happened with Sloane so to him she’s “just” her best friend so that just hurts. Like why specifically this one person Javi! He really hasn’t made any effort I feel like lmao the only effort he’s done is push Paloma away and hurt her over and over again…

I think Sloane mention Paloma and saying she’s not like her and all that and Javi just kept going with it just have me the biggest ick. Like how obvious Sloane was that she’s getting one over Paloma and he just ignored that. Definitely ick!

But yeah, biggest group hug ever for Paloma bc home girl is going through shit and she really deserves some good things. I’m glad her being too forgiving is gonna be talked about! Because overall, she has been much nicer to Javi than she should be lmao

I’m excited to see how we’re gonna get through this and I also definitely hope we get to see Javi working for it. Like he’s always kinda had Paloma running after him and I would like to see him having to run after her for once 😂 girlie, please make him work for it! I know it’s hard but when he’s all like “I’m sorry 🥺” don’t just fall for the puppy dog eyes and 👏🏻 make 👏🏻 him 👏🏻 work 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 it!!!’

(Thanks for accepting my ramblings in your inbox, I had a lot of feelings and I’m glad to talk about it with you!!! And even tho I am pissed, you’re a wonderful writer and I’m sure once we get to the fluff, all is forgiven hahaha! 💕💕💕💕💕💕)

that man is so FUCKING confusing like i wouldn’t even give him the time of day had i been in paloma’s shoes i’m just saying

we should all gang up on august idk idk he’s gotta go.. quickly!!

yeah the effort has lacked severely homeboy has been dealing with … well everything else … half assing the IMPORTANT things !! how do you claim to want to be a better man but then go make it harder for yourself ... it just doesn’t make any sense javi plssss

communication never fully happened on either end which is me digging into that frustrating miscommunication trope that i love to hate and hate to loveeee

but i see what you’re saying i just have a penchant for writing morally gray characters and having them do dumb shit bc i like to watch them suffer 😋 pero like yes the ick wasssss realllll and she just so happened to be the one who was there when he was peak frustrated and stressed with all the bs with the case (seeing the photo of paloma’s mother not knowing it was her and just thinking he’s seeing her everywhere really set him off) …. not an excuse but unfortunately our boy was straight up lost in the coital bliss and tbh i did initially have him chastising himself more for it in an original draft but cut it out bc i thought i was rambling too much 😫 but i’ll def have to circle back to it whenever they talk things out…..

i’m sorry but how can we expect her NOT to immediately forgive him when he looks like THIS

gif cred

SOMEBODY SEDATE MEEEEE 😫😫😫

your words are too kind seriously thank you so much 🩷

[aturnipsingularity]

Okay, so I've had some time to eat and settle down after work. Sorry for the radio silence for so long tbh I kind of forgot about logging back on. Life's been pretty busy between surgery for one my dogs, medical developments for the other, changes at work, etc. Things in general are pretty hectic. My 9 y/o dog had to get all of his teeth removed, and he's doing great. He's running around, he's happy, and his tongue sticks out of the side of his mouth now. And when he eats or licks things, he reminds me of Gene Simmons. My 14 y/o dog was supposed to have the same surgery for an abscess in his jaw, but unfortunately cannot bc of a mass in his lung that we also cannot look further into due to complications with anesthesia. The good news is that the mass does not seem to be getting larger, and it's most likely just another lump he has (he already has a lot of fatty tumors, it's very common for his breed). The bad news is he'll have to be on three different medications for the rest of his life, and he hates pills. He also has a heart murmur, but it is stable. It's better than the alternative. He doesn't appear to be in any pain right now, and is a bit more active since he's lost some weight (all due to a new diet and exercise, not bc of any medical issues). He'll be on a rotating round of antibiotics, a medicine to keep fluid off of his lungs, and a medication to help his heart beat. He's basically been diagnosed as old as balls. Heart murmur, bad teeth, lung fluid, arthritis, the works. He's missing the tip of one of his ears from being bitten by several animals over the years. His eyes are cloudy, and one is scarred over from a separate injury (he scratched his eye with his dewclaw). He's got moles in weird places. He's had a very long life. Doctors say he should be fine for awhile longer, but I do worry about losing him. I think that's pretty normal to feel. He was the first dog I had ever had, and he means the world to me. I'll be heartbroken when he eventually goes. Besides dealing with a bunch of expensive medical drama, I've had shit at work I've been dealing with. Schedule changes, coworkers switching shifts, changing crews, and taking on new responsibilities. I work nights as a cleaner, and I work with, at max, three other people at any given time. So, any change with coworkers is a lot. I had to learn a lot of new things to lead a new crew, and I'm doing my best with minimal training. We're finding our footing, and I really hope that I can make things the best I can for the people I work with. It's less management and more of a group leader role, so I understand that I am really only the mouth piece for a boss I rarely see. It's stressful sometimes, and having to communicate with my boss primarily through text isn't always ideal. My new coworkers have been really cool and understanding though, and the pay raise was really needed. I don't make a lot, and I have to be really careful to be able to pay my bills. But it's better than nothing.