#so i really hope that's not the case for you guys 😬

[princekirijo]

Istg I actually need to sit down and write a proper bio for Riku because even I get confused af as to what his personality is sometimes.

[mad-hunts]

tw: cannibalism, (slightly) graphic depictions of violence and HEAVY elements of horror will be ahead, so i'm going to put this under a 'read-more' if you'd rather skip out on this one.

so they looked around for a bit, and that's when they found it. this blood trail going down the floor of the hallway, which was already kind of scary, though it was nothing compared to the sound of someone's ringtone suddenly resounding from one of the rooms in the back (think one of those love songs with sort of creepy vibes to them like ' unchained melody. ') so, once your muse gathered enough courage, they decided to proceed down it even though something inside of them was screaming that something seemed wrong. and it seemed like they were right because once they reached the back, they found a dead body just... pressed up against the wall with blood spattered behind them. and there were other spots of the wall spattered with blood as well.

i feel like, for a character that's supposed to be pretty horror-oriented, that this account has been kind of lacking in content related to that lately, SO imagine this scenario, y'all. your muse is friends with or just cares about barton in some way. and thus, whenever they find out that he's attracted the ire of someone dangerous + that he's been missing for WEEKS, they assume the worst and try to find out his location. which leads them to this already creepy, dilapidated, and abandoned mortuary. and they honestly didn't know what they were expecting once they entered it, but it certainly wasn't this deafening silence, and there seeming to be... no one around?

so, you try to circle around to find out what the hell is going on, but then you see the thing that barton is hunched over is a body and a third one on the autopsy table in the room. and your muse can't help but blanche + feel like they've just stumbled into the lions den, because barton is not only SO beat up, but he's eating the person below him. and it's absolutely horrific because whenever they gasp at the sight is when barton finally looks up at them.

it was ALL over this corpses' face, though, as it appeared like they died from some sort of brutal blunt force trauma. but there's also another blood trail that is smeared across the floor up and under one of the doors in the back, which they are REALLY questioning whether they want to open now. they choose to do so with their eyes closed after remembering that barton would do the same for them (and by that, i mean he would want to save them JSJSJ), and all they can see when they open them is the back of barton hunched over something, or someone as you discover while getting closer to him. and it's like he is either ignoring you or hasn't heard you enter the room because he's still focused on whatever he was doing.

and there is just NOTHING behind those eyes even though he's got a copious amount of blood dripping down from his lips and dripping down his chin + neck. like JSJSJ i don't know about you guys, but i would be sooo scared because not only is this NOT normal behavior for him at all, it's god damn terrifying to see someone cannibalize you someone else. and so if he were real, along with me being in this situation, i probably wouldn't talk to him for a while because i wouldn't even know where to begin AHHH

[coco-loco-nut]

Father’s Day

pairing: max verstappen x reader

summary: max is dating an international star

a/n: i literally had this idea last night and had to write a short blurb, i promise i am writing other stuff tho 🫶

masterlist

————————

y/username happy father’s day, daddy. i love you and your big…

maxverstappen1 anything to share with me?

y/username not pregnant, just letting everyone know how turned on you get me

maxverstappen1 love you too, schat

user12 anyone else not getting it, like she is so hot and he is 😬

y/username you know that one barbie scene with the rock? that’s my maxie. also if you think he’s ugly, that’s fine, more of him for me 😍

user98 Y/N BARBIE FAN CONFIRMED

y/username priority 1: old barbie movies priority 2: max

user3 ON THE MAIN?

user33 PR monster got her, I really wanna know what she was about to say

recordlabel we don’t… we actually want bleach for our eyes

redbullracing we will share our bleach if you send us demos of her next album 👀

charlesleclerc Go on, finish the sentence, I dare you.

y/username his big heart, ego, ass, trophy case, therapy bill from childhood trauma, i could keep going on but i don’t want to make you feel emasculated

user62 okay, but like how did he bag her?

y/username he has incredible rizz, and look at him🤤

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you grin as Max lays on you lap, looking up at you with his beautiful blue eyes.

“You aren’t pregnant, Schat,” he laughs, your fingertips gently scratching his scalp.

“We could change that, get some practice in for after the wedding?” you watch his eyes widen as he quickly sits up.

“Practice makes perfect, why don’t we practice now?” Max suggests, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom.

Your wedding is small, only some close friends and family in attendance. The ceremony takes place in your backyard, no reception beyond a dinner afterwards.

Despite both your respective fame levels, you didn’t want anyone knowing of the marriage. Fans still thought you were dating, so when you got a positive pregnancy test, you were extra careful.

Max was grateful that you had a private recording studio in the house, for when you needed to drop the album. You didn’t mean to choose the surprise drop date to be at the end of your pregnancy, nor Father’s Day, but life worked in funny ways.

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you softly say, handing the little bundle off to Max.

“This is the best present, he’s beautiful,” Max hold back tears as he holds his son close to his chest.

“I’m not sure if I will be able to top this next year,” you laugh a little, your tiredness making an apparent after a long labor.

“You should take a nap, I’ll be okay with him,” Max runs a hand though your sweaty hair. To him, you’ve never looked more perfect.

“I have one thing to do first,” you yawn, pulling out your phone. Max slides into the hospital bed beside you, you immediately nestle into him, his warmth enveloping you.

instagram

y/username SURPRISE! midnight rain is out now! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it for the past four years. There is so much in my life that happened, so enjoy my journey through heartbreak, love, and growth. I want to quickly thank Max and my team for making this possible 💙

user1 AHHH this is so good, but didn’t she and Max break up? Why is she thanking him?

user3 dude, i think they are married, did you listen to everything else

user4 yeah, she had some songs about marriage, but she hasn’t been at any races since last year

user10 did y’all see the statement saying there won’t be a tour for the album?? crying in the club

user11 Okay, but Robin?? secret child??

maxverstappen1 endlessly proud of you, schatje

user5 we get it bro, she wrote Dress and The Alchemy about you

maxverstappen1 our little robin decided to hatch 💙

danielricciardo So happy for you and Y/n, mate. Big day for the Verstappen family, can’t wait to hold the little guy!

y/username he will love his Uncle Danny

y/username he’s perfect, just like his daddy

redbullracing what a gift for father’s day! sending our gift to you 💙

user42 guys, y/n’s song credits changed…

user21 OMG MAX AND Y/N ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A KID???

[empressconjure]

Pick A Card| Their 18+ thoughts about you 🤭

Please do not engage with this post if you are not 18 or older❤️

Hi everyone!!! I hope this reading finds you well<3 If you like this reading and would like to see more please follow as I will be posting readings frequently🥰 I also plan on providing my Patreon where I will be posting more often and the readings will be a lot more specific✨ info to book a personal reading coming soon🤍 Asé

1-4 left to right

Pile 1- the lovers, queen of cups, the hermit, 6 of swords

Signs- heavy Gemini, Virgo, cancer, Pisces

This person is a lover boy/girl🥹. Their 18+ thoughts include making passionate love with you!! They want to take care of you and make sure you are fulfilled. This person is a giver so I’m definitely seeing they want to be the one giving 😉 for a lot of you this person wants to move past any conflict you may have had in this connection. I’m hearing makeup s*x. If this is not the case then I just see that whenever you and this person have a disagreement they want to get over it with s*x. This person wants to make you moan. I feel like intimacy with this person is going to be very emotional and transformative. This person is very shy so they’re not going to tell you any of this. You will have to find out on your own 😉 🤭😍

Pile 2- strength, king of cups, 9 of swords, ten of swords

Signs- air signs, Leo, Pisces

This person tries to act like they are tough but they are weak in the knees for you!! This person doesn’t like to appear emotional or anything like that so they wear this mask that makes them seem stoic or closed off when deep down they have so many thoughts and emotions. This is actually driving them crazy. This person may be a fire/ air sun and water moon. In their 18+ thoughts about you, they think about finally releasing all this pent up sexual energy they have towards you. You turn them on so much and for some reason they feel like they can’t act on it. For some of you this may be a work or school situation where this person feels like it may be inappropriate to express these feelings. For others they may be scared of ruining the friendship you have. Just know that this person thinks your a tease and you drive them nuts 😭🔥

Pile 3- 3 of swords, six of wands, the fool, 4 of cups

Signs- libra, Leo, cancer

Sorry guys but I get player energy from this person. I feel like this person may have a lot of options or they may get a lot of attention online through social media. This person feels like you are hard to get and it turns them on. In their 18+ thoughts about you, they think about you finally giving them a chance to be with you. If you ever give this person the chance to sleep with you, it will give them a huge ego boost. They may be the type to brag about getting the chance to be with you. I don’t really like this persons energy so if you are thinking about having s*x with this person, they only seem good for a Friends with benefits situation right now. 😬If you are looking for something more serious I wouldn’t waste my time with this person. You know your worth and you can definitely do better than this person and they know it too which is why it would be such a big deal if you gave them a shot. 😌

Pile 4- 5 of pentacles, 7 of pentacles, king of pentacles, the chariot

Signs- earth signs, especially Taurus, heavy cancer energy

This person would let you have your way with them!!! They have a bit of a degradation kink tbh. This person puts you on a pedestal. Awwww I feel like this person is very hard on themselves, I’m getting Virgo energy 😟 they don’t think their good enough for you. In their 18+ thoughts they think about doing whatever it takes to make sure you’re satisfied in bed. They don’t even care about their own needs!! If you are happy then they are happy. This person has BDE!! They want to be your protector and your provider. If you ever want something they will buy it. If you ever have a problem with someone this person would literally fight to protect you🥹🥹💕 this is husband/ wife energy!! This person wants something stable with you and they are willing to put in the work to make sure that happens. Please be nice to this person :( they really don’t see their own worth and they just want to make sure your happy and satisfied in bed (in general tbh) 🩷

[wonwoosthetic]

Hi can you do anything that’s pre-outbreak of Joel and reader anniversary. It can be smut but the beginning can be Joel and Sarah planning the anniversary! I love their relationship so much

series masterlist

pairing – pre-outbreak!joel x reader

word count – 11.6k (this was supposed to be short and sweet... what happened...)

warnings – slight injuries, hospital scene but nothing major, cute smut (18+)

a/n – some more cute domestic joel stuff 🥺 with some smut hehe 😬 thank you for the request <3 I hope you like what I made with it ˙ᵕ˙ also just want to quickly take the time and thank you guys for all the love on my previous joel work, you actually made my app crash 😅🤭

Happy Anniversary?

2000

After Sarah had finished her homework at the Adler's place, she ran home and hopped onto the couch to enjoy some child-friendly TV - being stuck in a house with only people over sixty wasn't really her favourite way of spending her free time.

It didn't surprise her when her dad wasn't home at six. It also didn't surprise her when he wasn't there yet at seven. Around eight in the afternoon though, she started to wonder. The only way she could reach him was the landline, so she leaned over the armrest of the sofa to get a hold of the phone before dialling the number her father had made her know by heart back in kindergarten. It didn't even ring. The robot's voice immediately let her know that he was unavailable. With scrunched eyebrows and her lips pressed together in a tight line, she leaned back into the cushions.

There was one other person that would probably know where he was. You. Another number Joel had asked her to learn once he had noticed that things were getting serious between the two of you. The girl didn't need to wait for long before the familiar tone of your voice rang through her eyes.

"Hello?" Of course, you had the number of Joel's landline saved in your phone, but you didn't know who of the Miller household was calling.

"Hi, Y/N!"

"Oh, Sarah, hey! How are you?"

Sarah smiled, just like she always did whenever she got to talk to you. The relationship the two of you had built up over the past year she had known you, was something very special. Not only did she love the connection you, from one woman to another, but she truly felt like you had a close friendship she wouldn't want to give up. Ever.

"I'm good, thanks, how are you?"

You sighed, "Good… now that I'm home."

"Adult work isn't getting any more exciting?" She joked, making you chuckle.

"Exactly." A second of silence passed before you noticed nothing coming from her side. "Are you okay?"

Sarah made herself more comfortable on the couch, "Yup… sorry that I called you-"

"Don't worry, sweetie, trust me, hearing you right now has been the best part of the entire day."

Your comment made her grin even wider, "Well I'm happy to make your day better," to which you both giggled. "I was just wondering if you've heard anything from dad. Did he say he has to work late today?"

You let her question register in your brain before you went through the conversation you had with Joel last night since you haven't heard from today yet. "Ehm… no, I don't think he said anything about that. Isn't he home yet?"

Sarah shook her head before realising, you can't see her, "No, so I kinda thought, maybe he's still at work, but… now I don't know."

"Maybe something came up-"

"He isn't picking up." That made you go quiet. "I tried calling him, and it just went straight to his voicemail."

You bit your lip. Oh, God. You knew the stress of a parent not being at home at the usual time just all too well, remembering all the times it had happened to you as a kid and you immediately thought of the worst-case scenario.

"What about uncle Tommy?" You suggested.

The girl was just about to open her mouth and answer when the front door opened. Her head snapped to her left, eyes immediately on the familiar figure of her father entering the room.

"Wow…" she breathed out.

"What? What is it?" You hastily wondered.

"Speaking of the devil," you could hear the slight annoyance in her voice, "Guess who just walked through the door?" Joel sent her a questioning look as he walked further into the living room, throwing himself onto the couch, right next to his daughter.

You couldn't help but chuckle, "Hm… maybe your father, who once again decided to work longer and not tell us about it?"

"Mh," she grinned before turning to the man and shaking her head with a frown on her face.

A breath of relief fell from your lips as you got up from your position on one of the armchairs in your living room, "Well then, mystery solved. You better interrogate the heck out of him."

"Without you?" She gasped.

"Oh, trust me, he'll get a good talking-to from me tomorrow." Your answer received a grin from the girl, followed by a subtle devilish giggle.

"Good. Thank you for picking up, not like some other people here." Her comment was clearly directed to her father, earning her a soft shove to her upper arm, making her grin.

You smiled, "Anytime, sweetie. I guess I have to go back to my boring life now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep!" The happiness and excitement radiated off that little girl, lightning up the sparkle in her eyes at the mention of the following day. "See ya! Good night, Y/N."

"Good night, Sarah."

The youngest Miller placed the phone back on the side table, before turning to the oldest one, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She cleared her throat, "What do you have to say in your defence, Sir?" Her eyes followed his movements as he leaned back into the sofa with a groan, running a hand over his face.

"I forgot to tell you-"

"Oh, really!" She quickly exclaimed, interrupting Joel, receiving a warning glance from him, making her sulk back into the cushions.

"So as I was saying," he glanced at her, "I'm sorry that I forgot to tell you that I'd be in town after work. And I forgot to charge my phone."

Sarah scrunched her eyebrows, "What were you doing in town?"

Joel groaned, getting up to look for some food in the kitchen, "I wanted to get something for Y/N for tomorrow."

His answer made the girl laugh out loud as she got up to join him in the other room, sitting down at the dining table, "Are you serious?"

He looked up at her from his crouched position as he was trying to find something to eat in the fridge. "What?"

His daughter shook her head, "You're looking for an anniversary gift one day before your anniversary?"

Joel took out the container holding dinner from two days ago, grinning when it reminded him of you. Always making sure there was food in the house he lived in. You cared for him. And his daughter. "I've been thinking about what to get her for a few days, alright? But I haven't had the time to actually go and look for it," he defended himself, but it didn't get the look off the girl's face.

"And what did you find?"

He sighed, "Nothing. That's the problem."

"What are you gonna do now?"

"I have no idea…" Sarah could tell how exhausted he must be with the heavy breath leaving his lips. But the fact that he truly cared about getting you something special made her ecstatic. "You hungry?" Her father wondered, getting a shake of her head in response,

"I ate earlier." She shot up from her seat and skipped over into the kitchen, "So?! What are you gonna do?" Leaning on the counter, eyeing her dad suspiciously as he took a bite of the cold food with a fork. That also earned him a weird look from her, but he just wanted to get something into his stomach, not caring about the temperature - your cooking was gourmet to him in any way.

"I don't know," he answered, shrugging, "I can't believe I'm so fucking bad at giving gifts." Sarah ignored the swear word, blaming his fatigue, and didn't remind him of the swear jar you and her had brought into the house two months earlier.

"What did you gift her for her birthday?"

Tomorrow would be your first anniversary together.

A full years of being an official couple. While Joel was a romantic gentleman in every way possible, buying you flowers 'just 'cause', calling you sometimes multiple times a day 'just to hear your voice', keeping you in the house over the weekends and sometimes overnight during the week 'because he could never spend too much time with you', he still was a horrible gift giver - a fact no one could deny.

But more of a problem was your inability of receiving gifts. Because you hated it. You loved giving, hated receiving - not in all parts of life though. Especially not with Joel.

Though, whenever he had asked you what you wanted for your anniversary, birthday, or even International Woman's Day, he got the same answer each time: "I don't want anything." The truth was, you truly didn't. You've never been a big fan of material things, rather finding the thought behind something and a small gesture much more meaningful and loving. All the 'little' things your partner would do for you were enough - opening doors, carrying you whenever your feet hurt and taking you out for dinner on random days, were just a few of them. Yes, it may be the bare minimum, but still a rare minimum.

A rare minimum you had never been blessed with, with any of your past boyfriends. All until you met Joel and found out what it was like to have a true man by your side.

"That necklace you told me she'd like," he reminded her, brushing a hand over the wild curls he adored so much.

Sarah nodded with an open mouth, "Aaah, right right, I remember. She really did like that." They both nodded in sync. "But do you know what she loved even more?" Making the oldest Miller's head perk up,

"What?"

His daughter grinned at him, "The poster I made for her."

"True," he couldn't help but copy her facial expression, "She did like that a lot."

"She LOVED it!" Sarah shouted out, hitting her palms on the top of the counter, "She almost cried when she saw it," followed by giving her father a side-eye look, "She only said thanks to your gift, but she had tears because of mine."

Joel glanced at her, one eyebrow raised, "What are you tryna tell me?"

"Y/N loves me more than you," she flipped an invisible strand of hair to underline her comment.

The older man smiled, "Sure."

"Buuut," she dragged out the word, leaning over to steal a piece of broccoli from the container Joel was eating out of, "I also think that she would just appreciate self-made stuff more than things you can buy."

He stopped for a second to think before nodding his head, "So you're suggesting that I what? Build something?" Sarah nodded. "And what exactly?"

"Man, what do I know… You're the contractor here." But all he could do was sigh. He was in fact the contractor, but what the hell had that something to do with anything. The man put the food to the side to make some space and place his elbows on the counter, shoving his face into his two palms, groaning out loud.

The daughter of the family stood by his side, staring at him in amusement, finding this situation much funnier than her dad. With a chuckle, she passed him placing a somewhat comforting hand on his back.

"You're a lousy gift giver." Her comment though was anything but comforting.

He straightened his back to glare down at the girl, "Thanks." But it just got a giggle out of her.

After a quick glance around the room, the idea she had been holding in, as it was supposed to stay a secret present from her to the couple, came back up into her brain. "We could bake something for her."

That caught his attention. Joel didn't hate the idea. He definitely didn't. Your sweet tooth was known to the family, added to your appreciation and love for self-made gifts turned it into the perfect present.

"We?"

Sarah scoffed, "You really think I'd trust you with baking a cake?"

"Hey," he took her statement as an offence, "I'm doing very well in the kitchen." He didn't even believe that himself.

"Pff," she patted his back once again, "Sure, dad. Sure."

"I'm a great cook, alright?" he took it one step further, but his daughter was having none of it, giggling at him while shaking her head,

"You're an okay cook and a terrible baker."

He took the last bite of what was left in the plastic box before moving to put it into the dishwasher. "You can't be serious right now…"

Moments like these were Sarah's favourite. Watching her dad get all rilled up just never failed to make her chuckle. Joel enjoyed it just as much. The happiness radiating off her, with a beautiful and bright smile decorating her face, was a sight he never wanted to lose. "Uncle Tommy's a better baker than you," she quickly added before sliding past him to find the fitting cookbook on the shelf in the living room.

Joel's head shot into her direction, a finger pointing at her before she disappeared, "You take that back!" Her high-pitched giggles filled his ears with love and joy.

-

Sarah's feet were dangling off the counter while she was snacking on some of the sprinkles she wanted to put on the cake, along with taste-testing the pink sugar writing. Her father was preparing the frosting, every now and then checking on the cake in the oven, making sure it wouldn't burn because that was the last thing he needed.

They were sharing a few moments of comfortable silence in the room, whereas the girl's mind was filled with questions, daring to slip out any second as she didn't want to hold them back for much longer.

"So, Y/N's coming over tomorrow?"

Joel nodded with a whisk in the bowl, covered in blue-greenish frosting Sarah had coloured, "Yeah, I'm picking her up from work, and I'd bring her here," he looked up, "If that's okay with you."

"Of course," his daughter chuckled, putting the sprinkles down, freeing her hands so she could place them on the counter. She puckered her lips, thinking carefully about her next question. As much as she thought of a way to introduce the subject, she couldn't think of one, so she just jumped into the cold water.

"Do you wanna marry Y/N?" The words made Joel stop in his tracks, his eyes shot up to meet hers.

He sent her a questioning glance, "W-Where's that coming from?"

She shrugged, "I was just thinking. You know… you've been together for a year… and you seem happy-"

"We are," he assured her.

"And don’t adults think about getting married? When they’re happy."

He stood up straighter to lean onto the counter, crossing his arms, leaving the work on the frosting on the side for a bit. "Aren't you a little too young to be thinking about marriage?"

"For me? Yeah," she scoffed, "Because boys? Disgusting," getting a proud smirk for father as a response, "But I mean for you two… I don't know… I was just wondering."

Joel sighed, getting back to work, "Well… I mean, you ain't wrong, sweetheart. But there's a lot of things you need to do before you get married or even think about proposing."

"Like moving in?"

"Sure," he nodded, "Some couples move in before they get married. It's not the traditional way, but as we know, traditional is boring." She copied his head movements with a grin plastered on her face.

"Then why not ask her?" Sarah tilted her head and raised her eyebrows as soon as she locked eyes with the oldest Miller again.

"What do you mean?"

"Ask her to move in."

Joel chuckled in surprise, the spit in his throat almost making him joke, "You sure have some interesting suggestions today, kiddo. You alright? Do I have to be worried?" His facial expression made her laugh out loud as she nudged him with her foot, making him squirm away jokingly.

"Nooo, dad! I'm just saying," she motioned around with her hands,

"You've been together for a while… and… she's already spending every weekend here and sometimes comes over during the week. She makes sure we eat," Joel nodded along with all of the things his daughter was listing, "She takes care of me and you, she already has some of her stuff in your drawer-"

"How do you know about that?" She grinned sheepishly at him, "I saw it when I went through your stuff…"

The father took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, "Alright… how about we don't do that anymore?" Eyeing the little girl sitting on the counter to his left, but she just shrugged,

"You said we shouldn't keep any secrets from each other."

He sighed. Fuck. She wasn't wrong. "You're right… I did say that." Goddamn, always smarter than any other adult in the room. That was his little Sarah.

"So, are you gonna ask her?"

After tasting the frosting and checking its consistency, he gave the girl the whisk, just like he saw you doing it multiple times before. She accepted it with a bright smile.

Joel enjoyed having conversations like these. Obviously, he understood that she was still a kid, and he would never deny her of her innocent mind and easy-going-with-the-wind mindset, but he also appreciated the slightly more adult talks they could share. That's why he was more than happy to explain it to her.

"It's not as easy as you think it is, kiddo. Y/N still has an apartment. One that she shares. So, we’d have to talk about that first. And there's a lot of document stuff we'd have to get-"

"I asked her," she caught his attention when he came back up to stand up straight from looking at the cake through the oven window.

"What?"

"I asked her if she would like to move in with us. Not like actually, but just, you know, the idea of it."

Now Joel became interested. Of course, the two of you had had the conversation about a shared home before, but every couple had that at some point in their relationship. Hearing what you'd think about the idea now would have maybe changed. Now it was more relevant than ever, apparently.

"And," he looked down at his fingers, "What did she say?"

Sarah smirked, "She said the same thing as you just did. So really a match made in heaven," and rolled her eyes jokingly, "But she also said that she'd really like the idea… if I was okay with it."

"And? Are you- I-I mean, would you?"

"Of course! Are you kidding me?! I love her so much! Probably even more than you-"

"I doubt that."

"I don't," she stated straightforwardly, "And you're happy when you're with her, and you make her happy. What more you could want? AND thanks to her, the weekends aren't so boring anymore."

"What was wrong with the weekends before?" He was slightly taken aback by her comment, unsure if it was meant ironically or not. But then again, he was probably overthinking a lot at that moment.

Sarah smiled, "Don't get me wrong, dad. I loved the weekends with you and uncle Tommy, but having another woman in the house is just…" She shrugged, unsure of how to explain just how comfortable you made her feel. Joel and her were open about a lot of things, but Joel was… well, he was your typical single Texanian-dad, that didn't know what to do in certain female-focused situations - let's just put it like that.

Having conversations from woman to woman was something the father appreciated very much when it came to what you brought along when getting to know his kid. And the girl was happier than ever, being finally able to talk to an older person about certain struggles she might encounter that were still slightly too embarrassing to discuss with her dad.

"It's different, I know. I understand," he smiled at her.

"It's good different though," she nodded, "I really like her."

"And you'd be okay with her living here?" He finally asked. Sarah was the reason for his still-intact heartbeat. The only thing having kept him alive so far. Now you had also joined to share that position, but he was still his blood, and you'd never even try to get in between that.

"More than okay," she exclaimed, "I'd be SO happy to have her here constantly. I'd finally have someone against you."

Joel squinted his eyes at her, "Because Tommy isn't enough already?" Receiving a smug smile in return.

He shook his head with a chuckle when the timer went off, indicating that the cake was finally done. Sarah hopped off the counter to stand back on her two feet when her father leaned down to get the cake out of the oven and placed it on the stove.

"You know," he threw the dishtowel he used to not burn his hand to the side before turning to face the girl, "You might be a bit too smart for a kid your age."

The youngest Miller crossed her arms proudly, holding her chin up high, "Thanks, I got it from my uncle." That just made Joel look at her in surprise, almost making her laugh out loud.

He put on his low dad voice, "You got that from your father, thank you very much."

She dropped her hands, "Whatever," and moved a bit closer to stand right next to him, "So will you ask her tomorrow?"

"Yes," he promised her, "I will ask her tomorrow." To which she started bouncing up and down, her body full of excitement, making Joel chuckle and pull her in for a side hug and gift her a kiss on the top of her head.

She clapped her hands, "Now, let's start decorating."

-

You were running -scratch that - Sprinting through the hospital corridors, desperately trying to find the info point a nurse had told you to go to.

You had never crossed town at the speed you just did. Once the message from the other side of the call registered in your brain, you dropped everything at work, ignored the calls from your boss, just shouted a quick, "Family emergency," and raced to catch the next possible bus.

With a big breath shooting out of your lungs, you came to a halt once you came to sight with the hotspot you were looking for. You braced yourself up with your palm, trying to catch your breath before you spoke up, "Hi, sorry, I'm looking for Joel Miller. He's supposed to be in a check-up room."

The nurse looked up at you, surprised by the sound of urgency in your voice. She was quick to type the name into her system, but it felt like hours for you. Your legs were nervously shaking, barely able to hold you up anymore.

She opened her mouth, making you stare at her, eyes widened, "Room 293, down the hall on the right." You were just about to thank her and continue your race but she continued, "He's just got done with the medical exam, but I'd ask you to please wait outside until a doctor comes and approves of him accepting visitors."

Fuck that. You muttered a quick thanks before your legs took you where she explained the room would be.

If they really thought you'd wait for a fucking doctor to allow you to see your boyfriend you expected to be in the worst possible condition, they were wrong. Very wrong.

Hectically, your eyes scanned each number plate on the side of the doors as you tried to find the right one.

290… 291… 292… 293! A sigh of relief washed over you. You got closer to the door, glancing to the left and right, just to make sure there was no one that could see you walk in before you knocked three times. A quiet, "Yeah?" rang through your ears and you didn't wait for another second to open the door.

Your eyes immediately fell to the man sitting on the examining bed. He was alive. At least he looked like it.

"Y/N?"

Out of breath, you tried to speak, "Joel… w-what the fuck?!" He couldn't even open his mouth. "Are you out of your goddamn mind? What the- what the hell happened to you?!" You got closer to him, your fingers coming up to gently touch his chin, turning his head to look at the small scraps next to his eyes. You noticed the bandage on his forehead, guessing he must've gotten stitches there, only making you sigh again.

Joel got a hold of your hands, holding them close to his chest as he tried to calm you down, "Sweetheart… I'm okay," he brushed some wild hairs that were covering your face, to the side, "I'm alright."

"No," you shook your head, already feeling your throat close up, "Look at you."

"This is nothing, I promise."

While his right hand held onto yours tightly, the palm of his left one ran up and down your lower arm. You shrugged out of his grasp to hide your face behind your hands as soon as you could feel the first tears rolling down your cheeks. Your fingers pressed into your eyes.

"You scared the shit of out me," your voice was not much more than a whisper, but the room was quiet, so Joel was able to hear you clearly. He pushed himself off the bed, standing up in front of you to engulf you in a warm hug when he noticed your brittle voice and your whole body shaking.

His low voice tried to calm down your soft cries as he pressed your head into his chest, ignoring the slight pain in his ribs, remembering the big bruise that was forming there. "I'm sorry, darlin'," he whispered, "I'm sorry. But I'm okay. I promise." He moved his hands from brushing over your back to cupping your cheeks, his thumbs caressing your skin, wiping away the wet stains your tears left. "I'm alive," he grinned at you, but you just shook your head.

"You're a fucking idiot, Miller," pushing a finger into his chest, getting a subtle groan out of him, making you flinch back immediately, "What?" Your eyes hastily ran over his body, "You're hurt there too."

You tried to push his shirt up, but he stopped you, placing his hands on top of yours, "No no, don't worry. Just hurts a little."

You couldn't help but to sigh again. That man was going to be the death of you. With a few steps back, you distanced yourself from him, sitting down in one of the chairs by the desk across from the bed. Carefully, Joel sat back on top of the bed. Your eyes scanned his form as you noticed the hiss he was trying to hold back, his lips pressed together tightly.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, lowering your head.

"Did Tommy call you?"

You scoffed, "Obviously."

"Did you call Sarah?" To which you motioned a 'no' to him.

"You don't need two women in your life to have a heart attack," you explained, "And I didn't know what to tell her. Tommy just said there was an accident on the construction site, and you're in the hospital. I didn't even let him finish. I sprinted out of the office." Your story made him chuckle, but he noticed your still anxious and tense body.

"He brought me here just to make sure everything was alright. I wasn't hurt badly. No one was."

You looked up to meet his eye, "Joel, you got stitches!"

He shrugged, "Not the first time, not the last time."

"Why would you say that?!" You stared at him unamused, your mouth open. Taking a deep breath in, your hand brushed through your hair while you let your eyes travel around the room. You hated hospitals. You had yet to have a positive experience in one of these buildings. The silence that overcame the room was choking. But you weren't in the mood to say anything else, nor did you know what to even say, and Joel could read you like the back of his hand. He knew he scared you. He hated it, so he was the first to break the stillness.

"Happy Anniversary."

You raised your head, finding him grinning at you shyly, making you shake your head, "Don't. This isn't funny." He nodded, understanding what was going on in your head. Another moment of silence filled the room.

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't the way you expected to spend our anniver-"

"I couldn't care less about the anniversary, Joel!" You exclaimed in frustration, "I- I thought you were-," you stopped before you could get choked up again, not even wanting to dare to say out loud what was going on in your head when you answered Tommy's phone call. "God knows what could've happened to you!"

"Come 'ere," he nodded you over, but you shook your head,

"Joel-" you were stopped by the motion of his hand for you to come closer. The man was already hurt, you didn't have to add to that. With a sigh, you stood up, leaving your bag on the chair next to you, before walking up to him again. The oldest Miller leaned forward to grasp your hand and pulled you closer, even getting a soft smile out of you.

His hand rested on your hips as you stood between his legs while you intertwined your fingers behind his neck.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, darlin'. I promise I'll be more careful."

"You better," your finger slid through his hair as you noticed the look in his eyes while he was staring at you. His right hand found its way to the back of your neck, pulling you down to finally do what he had been wanting to do all day. His lips moved against yours as you could feel him smirking before he pulled back slightly.

"I'll make it up to you tonight." You looked into his eyes in confusion, but only for a second before you moved your head back with a gasp.

"Joel!" You smacked his shoulders gently, "You're sitting on fucking a hospital bed, how could you think about sex right now?" He just continued grinning, his hands moving all over your body, keeping his eyes on yours, "How could I not with you in front of me."

A chuckle escaped from your lips followed by a shake of your head, "You're unbelievable." You got pulled closer again, his lips smashing against yours.

"Unbelievably in love with you." Earning himself a giggle and a quick peck from you.

Your fingers softly grazed the skin of his cheek, careful not to touch any of his injuries as you smiled, "Happy Anniversary, Joel." He couldn't help but to copy your facial expression, keeping you as close to him as he possibly could.

-

You drove the two of you home after the oldest Miller had gotten released from the hospital, and Tommy had already made his way back to his place. Joel was definitely moving slightly more carefully, but he assured you he was a-okay - you didn't fully believe it, but it wasn't worth a discussion.

After parking the car in the garage, you made your way into the house through the backdoor. Joel opened it for you to walk in first, just like he always did. You gave him a quick, "thank you," and stepped in before you stopped in your tracks, a high-pitched voice surprising you with a loud,

"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!"

"Oh, Jesus!" Your hand flew up to your chest, your breathing quickening as you took in the scene in front of you. Sarah was beaming at you with her bright smile, a pink poster with big letters staring directly at you.

You started laughing, "God, you scared me, kid."

Joel stopped behind you, laughing at the sight. She ignored your exclaim, running up to wrap her arms around your torso, making you do the same around her shoulders. You pulled her in, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "You really are just the cutest," pulling back to look at her, petting her cheek, "Thank you, sweetie."

She gave you another quick grin before moving on to her father, doing the same to congratulate him, when she noticed the cuts on his face.

"What happened to you?"

Joel shrugged, a hand brushing over her hair, "Just a little accident at work. Nothing to worry about."

You moved further into the house, placing your bag on one of the dining chairs. Your eyes took in the room, holding your gaze once again on the poster Sarah had clearly self-made. She had placed it on top of the table before she had rushed over to the two of you, so you were able to run your fingers over the little stones and glitter patches she had glued on. You remembered the sign you had gotten from her only a month ago.

"You outdid yourself this time, Sarah," you turned to her when you noticed she had come to stand next to you, "It's so cute."

"Thanks," she radiated her happiness on you. "And look!" She skipped into the kitchen, making your gaze follow her when she pointed to the counter when you saw what got her so excited.

You started giggling. On the countertop sat a turquoise-coloured cake, with white frosting details on the side on pink hearts decorating the top of it.

"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, "Awww, did you do that yourself?"

She shrugged with a smile, "Dad helped me." To which Joel got closer to you two, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion,

"I thought you helped me." His arm snaked around your waist.

"Well," she answered him, "You thought wrong," sending him a sheepish grin that made you chuckle.

You opened your arms to get her into another hug, tightening your arms around her just a little tighter than before, "Well, I appreciate it a lot. Thank you, sweetie. I love it." Your eyes may have gotten a little glassy, but you were able to hold it back, not wanting to surprise them with a gush of happiness.

Joel next to you cleared his throat, gaining all the attention of the room. You released Sarah from your grasped and wrapped your arms around your partner's waist. "And thank you to you too, of course," smiling up at him as he looked down. You puckered your lips, making him smirk and lower his head to meet your mouth, giving you a quick peck.

Sarah interrupted your small moment of love when she called out, "Okay, let's eat!"

All three of you followed her orders and sat down around the dining table after grabbing plates, forks, and a knife to cut the cake. While your eyes were on Joel, who was giving each one of you a good slice, you also noticed the little girl next in the middle of the two of you, happily clapping drumming her hands on the surface, that smile of hers never leaving her face.

It was in moments like these when you truly thought to yourself what you could have possibly done in your past life to deserve people like them in your life. A boyfriend that would carry you to the ends of the world, in whose arms you felt safer than anywhere else, along with a wonderful daughter that looked at you as if you were the reason for the stars lighting up the sky.

You enjoyed the sweet dinner, easily falling into a comfortable conversation like you usually would. Sarah told you about her good day at school, bragging about the grade she had gotten on her chemistry exam, earning her a round of applause from you and a kiss on her cheek from her father. Joel and you talked about your workdays, leaving out the time you had spent in the hospital. He was fine, that's all you cared about.

After the meal, you brought all the dirty dishes into the kitchen, loading up the dishwasher, Joel placed the cake back into the fridge, and Sarah was put in charge of choosing a movie to let the evening come to an end.

Her choice fell on Jurassic Park, knowing how much the oldest in the house loved the movie, and after getting a nod of approval from you, she put it into the DVD player, telling you to hurry up and join her on the couch.

Joel and you sat down on either side of her before the girl made herself comfortable and laid her head on your lap while resting her legs on her father's. Automatically, your hands found their way to her head, brushing through her unruly hair you always complimented.

This position allowed Joel to come just a little bit closer, lifting his daughter's legs to slide over to you, pulling your head to lean on his shoulder and copying your actions to start patting your head as well. Not even forty minutes later, the soft snores and even breaths from the little girl accompanied the sounds coming from the TV. You looked down with a chuckle.

"What?" Joel wondered, "Did she fall asleep?"

"Yeah," you smiled, eyeing him suspiciously once he stood up with a groan,

"Finally." He crouched down slightly, moving one arm underneath Sarah's knees, while his other one steadied her neck. He straightened his back and pointed a finger at you, "You stay here. I still have something to make up to you."

Getting a giggle out of you, "Joel!"

"I mean it!" He shout-whispered at you before disappearing upstairs.

You brought your knees up, hugging them to your body when you remembered the little gift that was still hidden in your bag. With a soft huff, you pushed yourself off the sofa and walked over to the dining room the snatch your bag off the chair.

"Darlin', where- oh, there you are," Joel found you with your back turned towards him, rummaging through your back when he crept up on you and placed his hands on your hips once he got close enough. His lips immediately latched onto your neck, peppering it with kisses, making you giggle.

"Stooop," you laughed, leaning back into his chest.

"What are you doing?" He wondered as you turned around, your hands hidden behind your back.

You grinned up at him, "I've got something for you."

"You do?" His eyebrows shot up, "Why? Having you here is already enough," he didn't even wait for a response from you, just saw you rolling your eyes, making him chuckle as he pulled you in for a quick kiss.

You were first to retrieve back, receiving a low whine from him in return, to which you shook your head with a smile. "May I give you your gift now?"

Joel stood up straighter and put his hands out, palm up, in front of you, closing his eyes along the process. Without wasting another second, you placed the little box into his grasp. He opened his eyes again, looking suspiciously at the packaging, shaking it slightly,

"What is it?"

"You really expect me to tell you instead of just opening it?"

He smiled, "Alright, alright."

You could hardly contain your excitement as he ripped the paper off the box, throwing it onto the table behind you. As soon as Joel opened it, his eyes shot up to find you grinning right at him.

"Darlin'…"

"Sarah told me you've been looking for one," you explained, "But she also said that you never take the time to go downtown and look for one. So, I thought, I'd just save you the stress."

His fingers ran across the rounded edges of the watch in the box. It looked expensive, that's for sure.

"You didn't have to do that, sweetheart," he spoke quietly, still in awe of the present worth so much more than just money in his hands.

You shrugged, "I know, but I wanted to."

Joel took it out of its packaging, putting that to the side as well before wrapping it around his wrist. Your fingers came to help, closing the little buckle so it fit him perfectly.

He couldn't take his eyes off the watch, "Thank you, darlin'," but you were a much better sight to him, "I love it," so he pulled you in again, "I ain't never taking that off ever again."

Your hands found their usual place on the back of his neck again as you kissed him back, whispering against his lips, "I'm glad you like it. Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary," he mumbled back, giving you a peck before sliding out of your embrace, "Well, I guess it's time for me to give you your present now?"

"Joel," you whined, "I told you, I don't-"

His hand stopped you before he exited the kitchen and came back only seconds later, his hand in a tight fist. You waited patiently for him to open his mouth again, even though you were anything but that.

He stopped in front of you, raised his arm and let what he was holding drop down while holding onto what looked like a key ring.

"What is it?" You reached out to grab it, laying it flat against your palm to analyse it. A key. Attached to a pendant representing three figures, a figure that was supposed to be a man, next to a woman, who then again stood next to the same figure just in small.

"The key to my heart?" He jokingly answered, making it sound more like a question, making you look up.

"Ha ha," you rolled your eyes. Always the romantic…

Joel took a deep breath before clearing his throat, "I mean… I guess it kinda is, but ehm… it's a housekey." You had to tear your eyes away from the object in your hands once again once your brain registered what he had just said.

"What?"

"So," he started explaining, his hands immediately on your hips again, "I was racking my brain over what I could give you today. But I just couldn't think of anything. Because honestly… I didn't think there was anything in this world that I could buy you, that would show you just how much you mean to me."

"Don't make me cry," you quickly intervened, making him chuckle as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek,

"I'll try," and put a strand of hair behind your ear. "Yesterday Sarah, the way too smart for her own good kid, that she is," the description made you smile, "got the idea of baking something for you because she said you value that a lot more than bought stuff." He had to take another deep breath before continuing, "And then while we were preparing the cake… you know her, she started asking all those questions until we landed on the whole moving-in thing." Throughout the whole speech, you listened attentively to your partner, keeping your eyes on him the entire time even while his drifted around the room. "Since you already spent the weekends with us and are here every now and then during the week, she asked me why you're not living with us yet."

"And your answer was?" A smug smile made its way onto your lips.

"Do you want the truth or what I told her?"

"The truth, please."

Joel's eyes followed his hands as they ran up and down your sides, "That her dad hasn't had the balls yet to ask his girlfriend." You shyly looked down back to your hands. At the little charm.

He noticed where your attention was and pointed at it, "Sarah picked that up today after school." Of course, she did… You could feel the tears coming back up. God, that girl was just too pure for the world…

"So?" His voice made you meet his eyes again, "What do you say? Can you handle three Millers under one roof?"

You pretended to think, playing with the lips he so desperately wanted to feel on his again, "It won't be easy."

He grinned, "That's not a no." You dropped the key onto the table behind you before your hands went back around his neck, pulling him in close enough for your lips to almost touch. You could feel his grip on your hips tighten.

The corners of your lips curled up, "That's because it's a yes," pecking his lips, "I'll take good care of you."

His left hand travelled to your lower back, "And we'll take good care of you too," he repeated giving you multiple little kisses, making you laugh. Oh, God how much he loved that sound. And now he would be able to hear that every single day. "Now, how about I stick true to that promise I made earlier?"

You nodded, breathing against each other's mouths, "Yeah, please do." And he didn't need to be told twice.

With one swift move, you were put onto the table, before he situated himself between your legs. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you as close as possible. You moved yourself slightly forward, letting a moan escape from your lips when you felt his tongue glide across your bottom lip.

Opening your mouth wider, gave him the opportunity to slip in, earning a deep groan from the man in front of you. Your fingers started playing with the hem of his shirt, signalling for him to pull back and pull it up as you helped him along with it, dragging him onto you the moment it came off - eyes immediately on the dark bruise forming on his ribs.

"Joel…," you gasped, reaching out to touch the dark spot, but he got a hold of your hand, bringing your knuckles up to his lips,

"It's nothin', darlin', don't worry about it." You could worry about the truth in his statement tomorrow, for now, you wanted to get him back on you, so you smashed your lips back onto his.

He chuckled, "Someone's eager," he started trailing kisses down your neck.

"Well, someone made me think about this for hours," you grabbed his face to bring him back up to you. You could never get enough of the touch of his lips. You would drown in it if you could. You wouldn't even care if you couldn't breathe anymore, it would be a happy death.

"And that someone is gonna make sure you won't be able to think at all for the next few hours," he whispered as his right hand slipped underneath your shirt, his thumb tracing over your bra.

You couldn't help the shake in your voice, "Hours? I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself, Miller." Knowing damn well that he wasn't. You had the privilege of getting the house to yourself every now and then or having had some alone time in your apartment. If he wanted to, he could go on for hours and hours. But you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy rilling him up just a little bit.

He scoffed, pulling your shirt over your head easily, "Sure, keep saying that. Keep talking while can." He knew what he was doing to you with those words.

His hands roamed your almost naked torso, cupping your still-covered breasts into his big hands, making you moan into his mouth.

You could feel that gentle touch of his on your body before it stopped on your ass, pulling you closer to him as he mumbled, "Come 'ere. Let's go upstairs."

You were held up tightly against him as he carried you up into the first floor, taking a sharp left to get you both into his, well now your, bedroom. Your bedroom. From now on, this was the room you'd be sharing with your partner. God, what a good time to be alive…

Once you had reached the bed, Joel slouched over, making sure to place you onto the mattress gently.

There were two sides to Joel Miller when it came to sex. You were very familiar with both. There was the soft side you adored so much. When he took his time with you, kissing every inch of your body, working you up just right, adoring your body and covering it with pure passion. His thrust would be slow and deep, gentle, yet just filled with the same amount of lust as his other side. The alter ego, as you'd like to think of it was fast-paced, hard, yet never too short, sex. Still very passionate, but loud and messy. Bruises weren't a rarety after a night like that. And while that was what you understood when thinking of sex, you adored love-making just a little bit more when the time was right. Just like at that moment.

His kisses moved from your neck, down between your breasts, along the middle of your torso, holding onto it tightly, until he reached the rim of your jeans. His fingers got to work on your button, opening it along with the zipper, before getting up slightly to free your legs from them, sliding them down as he started kneeling on the floor. Down at your ankles, he pulled them off completely, getting rid of your socks as well before starting his journey of kisses back up again.

You squirmed more and more the higher he came up, making him have to move his hands to your hips to hold you down and pull you closer to the end of the bed to reach your inner thighs.

"Ah, fuck baby…," he moaned in between kisses, "So. Fucking. Beautiful."

You were brushing some hair out of your face, heavy breaths leaving your lips. You didn't even dare to look down, knowing you'd probably only get closer to coming right then and there with the sight. "Joel, please…" you whined.

"I know, I know, darlin'," he continued admiring your thighs with his lips before hooking his fingers into the side pieces of your underwear. He noticed which ones you were wearing.

"You know," he gave them a kiss too, right onto your pelvic bone,

"These are my favourite."

You chuckled, "Of course, I know. Why do you think I put them on?"

"Well, but then it wouldn't be right of me to just take them off right away, now would it?" He smirked letting go of the fabric and prepping your legs up on the mattress. His lips moved down to the centre of your pussy, placing a gentle kiss right where you wanted him, sending a shiver through your entire body along with a shaky breath tumbling from your lips.

Once again, his finger hooked underneath the fabric of your underwear, only this time, pulling the centre piece to the side, giving him a clear view of your sex, clearly glistening even in the dim light coming from the moon outside.

He didn't let another moment pass before he covered your slit in little kisses, his hands having a tighter grip on you once you started moving again. You were still enjoying the soft feather touches of his lips on yours when you suddenly felt the tip of his tongue running over your clit, getting a low moan out of you. You had to remember there was still a little girl in the room across from you - too much noise would eventually wake her up and you were not ready to have that kind of confrontation with her yet.

"Ah… Joel…" you breathed out, your fingers tangling around his hair, pulling slightly once you felt his tongue movements quicken and deepen.

He slipped around your clit, running it down to your hole before drawing circles around there as well. As soon as he was up again, gently sucking on your clit, you could already feel the arousal dripping out of you, making you shudder and hold onto his hair just a little tighter. He switched between focusing on your bundle of nerves and gathering every drip coming out of you with his tongue.

"Fuck," you couldn't help the whine erupting from you. You had to be quiet, not silent. Especially not when you knew what your sounds could do to Joel. You were confirmed of your thoughts when you heard the buckle of the belt on his jeans opening, followed by his zipper. Joel had to free his hands from holding onto you to get his jeans off his legs, dragging his boxers along with them to free his erect dick. But his tongue never left your heat - he was a God of multitasking and had proved that many times before.

Once you felt his right hand being placed on top of your abdomen and heard a deep groan coming from him, you knew he had started grasping his cock in his free hand. The thought of your partner jerking off to eating you out and the little breaths coming from you only added to the sensation that had been building up between your legs.

"Joel," you whimpered, "Don't-fuck, don't stop," begging him to keep going. His answer was another strong suck on your clit, and a lick of his tongue as he slid into you. The hand that had been holding you down was moving lower, still keeping you from moving too much, while his thumb had found its way to your clit, making sure to stimulate it, while his tongue was working inside of you.

"Oh, God, yeah…" you breathed out, uncontrollably starting to move your hips as well to get closer to the edge. Your moans came out higher-pitched as you pressed your lips together tighter, trying to keep as quiet as possible, while your partner was doing the Lord's work on you.

"Fuck- Joel, I'm gonna cum," you whined out, "I-"

"You can do it, baby," he encouraged you, letting go of his erection, to replace his tongue with two of his fingers, and going back to kissing your clit passionately while his right hand interlaced with yours.

"Come for me," he breathed against you.

You nodded, moaning slightly louder as the grip on his hand tightened, your hips moving around more. The tension kept building up, encouraging you to keep going as he moved his fingers in and out of you, the wet sounds echoing through the room.

"Come on, darlin'." His whisper made your body shake.

And after the last small whiny, "yeah…" slipped from your lips, you fell apart beneath him, tightening around his fingers, humming uncontrollably, and trying to hold in the moans and groans you could've let out.

Joel didn't stop though. He never does. He only removed his fingers to start cleaning you up with his tongue, not letting you recover from the orgasm that had washed over you.

You tried catching your breath, releasing his hand from your tight grasp, as you moved both your hands back to his hair, begging him to come up and hover over you, "Joel," you whispered, chest still heaving heavily.

With a smile, he came back up to face you after finally taking your underwear off completely, his arms resting on either side of you, peppering your face with kisses before stopping at your mouth. You could taste the remains of yourself on his tongue as he pushed it past your lips to slide over yours.

"I love you," he spoke quietly against your mouth, moving down to your jaw, making you smile as you pulled him to look you straight in the eyes, "I love you too," kissing him with just as much passion as before.

His right arm moved underneath your arched back, towing you into him as he sat you up on your knees. His fingers quickly opened the back of your bra, sliding it down your arms, following its trail to mark it with kisses. Once were boobs were free in front of you, he leaned down, getting to work on them as he decorated them with his lips. You threw your head back in relief, giving him easier access, sighing his name out loud.

When he wanted to feel your mouth on his again, he positioned his hand on your tits, engulfing them in the warmth of his palms.

"You're always so good to me." Now it was your time to move your lips down his throat, getting a soft moan out of him, while his fingers came to play with your nipples.

"How could I not," he got a hold of your chin, moving it gently so you'd be facing him again, "You deserve it," going back to stealing your breath and devouring your lips.

Joel sat down properly on the bed, giving you the opportunity, to take a seat on his lap. You let your hand travel down your body, between your legs to smear some of your wetness onto your palm before you moved onto him, covering his fully erect cock. He held himself up with his hands on the mattress, tilting his head back, letting the pleasure wash over him as a groan fell from his lips.

You pumped your hand up and down four times before you were ready to lower your head, but a soft grip on the back of your hair stopped you, gently pulling you back up, "No no, darlin', come on," Joel patted his lap, "Sit down." He had always been more of a giver than a receiver. Not that the hated blowjobs, how could he with your mouth, but he enjoyed giving a lot more than receiving.

You listened to his demand and scootched up onto his lap, not letting go of his erection in your hand as you lined it up with your sex before slowly sinking down on it, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders as soon as he grabbed you by your hips.

A soft but long whine vibrated in your throat as he started to fill you up, stretching you with his size. Your fingers started digging into his shoulders, making him hiss with a chuckle. His strong arms kept you as close as possible to him, waiting for you to set the pace and start moving.

You let your forehead fall against his once he was fully inside, and you started rotating your hip right away. Moving them back and forth to create some friction as both of you shared a round of low moans, kissing to prevent them from getting too loud. He moved his hips along with yours after getting to know the speed you were working with, making you sigh out loud. "Oh… fuck…"

Joel's hand came up to brush some of the hairs that stuck to your forehead, away, giving your cheeks a few pecks.

"You know, you get more beautiful each day," directing them down to your throat and the side of your neck.

You chuckled, "You're one to talk, dilf hot-shot." Your comment made the two of you giggle in chorus as you remembered him of the nickname he had earned himself at the last parent-teacher conference, which you found out, thanks to his daughter, who wondered what it meant.

He rolled his eyes,

"Oh please," he jerked his hips up to tease you, almost making you screech if it wasn't for you hiding your face in his neck. "I'll always find you beautiful, sweetheart, no matter the age."

His hand on your hair pulled you back gently to look at him again,

"Likewise, handsome," you smiled at him, gifting him with a kiss before your hands on his chest pushed him down, while you kept yourself up on your knees. As Joel lowered his body, following your directions, you felt his erection tipping with him, nudging the rough spot inside of you, getting a shaky moan from you in return.

Once he was comfortable, you braced yourself with your arms on the sides of his head to hover above him, continuing your make-out session. You felt his hands going down your body, finding their new place on your ass as he held on to it, keeping you still, while started to move his upwards. Having to pull back from the kiss, you released a soft sigh before starting to move against him, meeting his thrusts in the middle.

His grip tightened with his lips on you again, "Fuck, baby," he hissed, slightly picking up the pace. "Ya' gonna' be fuckin' death of me." You loved whenever his deep Texanian accent made an appearance during sex. It just told you, you were doing everything right.

With one last kiss, you pushed yourself up to fully sit on his cock again. He pushed his knees up slightly to give you a makeshift backrest once you started moving your hips faster. His fingers quickly interlaced with yours, giving you something to hold onto as you yanked them closer to you.

"Joel…" you dragged out his name in a hush, getting a groan from him in response.

"You're doing so good sweetheart, keep doing," he encouraged you.

You sat up straight, "Put your legs down," giving him the directions you needed for your next position, sounding almost out of breath. He did as you asked, giving you the room to lean back and hold onto his thighs, opening up your body as a sight to him.

"So good, baby," he moaned out loud as he put his hand to your pussy, after wetting his fingers with his spit, circling them around your clit, making you shake.

"Fuck," you cursed out, sighing along with it as you started moving your hips faster, now with the encouragement of Joel's touch on your sex.

His groans felt your ear, letting you know he wasn't far from his release, just as much as you. You kept moving, bouncing up and down on his erection that kept brushing your walls, letting you feel every vein on his cock.

"Joel, I'm so close," you moaned, which was all he needed to know before he freed his hands from yours, only to bring them back to your ass, lifting you up to change his position. You kept yourself up, taking a few deep breaths, trying to steady your breathing with the small rest you got.

He sat up on his knees, wrapping his arms around you again to lower you back onto the mattress, this time with your head against the comfort of your pillows.

Joel stayed in this position, making sure to keep you as still as possible in the tight hug, as he started snapping his hips against yours. His cock slid easily in and out of you, the wet sounds ringing through your ears as you felt his balls slapping against your ass.

You lifted your arms, your fingers desperately trying to find the headboard to hold onto as you tried to contain yourself from the noise you wanted to make. All you could let out were high-pitched whimpers and gentle moans when you could've easily screamed into his ears with the pleasure that was rushing through your body.

You could feel Joel's fingers digging into your skin, his groans only getting deeper as he attacked your neck, hoping to keep it as quietly as possible. The second orgasm was approaching you rapidly and you wanted to open your mouth to let him know, but all you could make out was,

"I- Jo-" as he kept on hitting just the sight spots inside of you.

He nodded, "I know, baby," breathing heavily against you, "Ya gonna come with me?" Making you nod hastily, "Yeah?" To which you nodded again, a whimper tumbling from your lips.

Your feet started digging into the mattress as the pressure leading you to your release was getting intensely more.

"I-I'm gonna c- fuck, I'm gonna cum," you managed to get out. Joel kept his lips on your neck, gifting you more encouraging words.

"Yeah baby, come with me," was the last thing you needed to hear before he smashed his lips onto yours just at the right time before you could scream your orgasm out into the world. Your fingers tightened around the wood of the headboard as you felt him shoot his cum into you. His groan against your mouth sent vibrations through your body, which was already shaking from the aftermath of your release.

As soon as he pulled back, the two of you shared your heavy breaths, sweaty foreheads pressed against each other, a smile of pleasure decorating both of your faces.

Joel started peppering your face with kisses again, making you chuckle as you still tried to catch your breath, just as well as he still was doing.

"I love you, darlin'," he whispered against your skin as you brought your fingers back to his hair, brushing them to make him look at you.

After placing a loving kiss against his lips, you breathed out, "I love you, babe. I love you a lot."

"A lot?" He chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

You nodded with a smile, "A lot."

With a deep kiss that let you know just what you needed to know, he was back gazing into your eyes, freeing your face from all the small hairs that had made their way to your sweaty forehead, "Well then, I love you a lot too." But you couldn't let him go yet, yanking him towards you for one last, passion-filled kiss, moaning into his mouth as he smirked.

Joel pushed himself back up, slowly sliding his erection out of you, making you shiver, and him chuckle before he walked over to the basket of clean clothes he had yet to put away.

He searched for the clean cloth he remembered throwing in, and once he had found it, he brought it back to bed with him. He was back to hovering above you, continuing your innocent make-out session while he started cleaning up the mix of his and your cum that was dripping out of you. With every swipe, you buckled your hips up uncontrollably, just enjoying the pleasure washing over your body.

After he got done with that, he threw the cloth into the basket for dirty clothing before starting to look for his boxers, standing up on his two feet to pull them up his legs. You crawled over to the edge of the bed, bending down to gather your underwear before looking up at Joel who was standing closer to the clean clothing than you were.

"Can you give me a shirt, please?" Already knowing that you were asking for one of his, he snatched a dark green one and passed it over to you, who had gotten up from the bed, legs still shaky, but you could make it work.

Once you had thrown that over your body, you felt the familiar strong arms wrap around you again, and Joel lowered his head to get another few kisses from you.

"Happy anniversary," he whispered once again.

You smiled against his lips, "Oh, it is a very happy anniversary, babe." When there didn't seem to be a stop to the make-out session he had initiated, you tried to push him away, but he wasn't budging.

"J-Joel," you giggled, "I need to go."

"Where?" He immediately pulled his head back, gazing at you in surprise, but you quickly calmed him with a soft hand on his chest,

"Downstairs to get our clothes. I don't need to traumatise your daughter on the first day of moving in," you freed yourself from his hug, "And then I have to take a shower."

As you passed him, he couldn't let go of the opportunity to get a hold of your ass, squeezing it, getting a screech from you in response. You were quick to turn around and hit him on the upper arm, making him flinch away with a smirk.

"Joel!" You hissed at him, motioning for him to be quiet.

He raised his arms, "You're the one being so loud," earning himself a death glare from you, but it only made his grin wider.

His eyes followed your form as you left the room before he let himself drop down onto the bed. He ran a hand over his face, not even caring to hide the smile that just didn't seem to go away.

You were officially moved in. From today on, he'd wake up next to you every single day. Sarah and he would have you by their side every afternoon after work. He'd be able to pick you up and bring you both home. Together. He knew now the pressure of the next step in your relationship would be approaching quicker, but he decided to put that thought aside and focus on the present - and on your footsteps that were coming back up.

Joel laughed to himself as he got back up, on his way to join you in the bathroom for round two - after all, he had promised you hours.

joel taglist: @corvusmorte

pedro taglist: @leslieelainetrask

[renaissance35]

OMG!!! I'M Sooo late to show case this! I finished this back in November and I was worried because I wasn't able to post this in October but then I remembered that this is a Halloween AND a Christmas movie. Si, I thought to post it, on the first of Dec, but waiting so long I forgot about and started on a new project 😬😅

But it's Here now and I hope you guys like because I really really do. Oh I miss this trip so much. Hope they reunite them soon!!

[jarofstyles]

Flame- Smolder

Hey… it been a bit. Don’t yell at me 🫶😁😁😁 sorry it took me a bit to update it on here! I hope you enjoy… 👀👀

Check out our Patreon for early access and 100+ exclusive writings!

Warnings- angsty 😬

—-

Y/N had fucked it up.

She couldn’t focus at all during the study group, checking her phone for texts from Harry but finding it very unusually empty. Her throat felt tight as she remembered how something she said had changed his tone, his slightly hurt face taking her back.

He wasn’t usually a very serious person. Harry was goofy and silly and so funny it often made her swoon, even when he was being sweet he had that puppy eye and dopey smile on his face. He was never one to just leave and she knew she had fucked it up- but she wasn’t sure if what she thought was the reason, was.

They weren’t dating. As much as Y/N wished they were, as much as it felt like it, Harry hadn’t mentioned anything about it and she had tried to set a mental separation so it wouldn’t hurt as badly when it ended. She was in love with him, utterly fucking smitten, and she had gone into this stupidly thinking that she could avoid that. Even with the tiny crush she had on him, she thought perhaps having sex would let it out of her system.

It did the opposite.

Y/N was spending nights with him, cuddling and kissing. Getting far closer and emotional than any friends with benefits should. She blames it partially on the fact that they had been such good friends for a while before they even started fucking around, that it had blurred a line since they’d already been close. It felt like a relationship, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t official. And Harry wasn’t really a relationship type- he hadn’t been in one in 2 years. He had hooked up with quite a few people, as did she, but this just felt significant.

Long fucking story short? She was terrified.

If he didn’t feel the same way, if he felt like this was just sex? It would crush her. It already felt like she was crushed just by how he had left their studying early and rejected hanging out. Her body felt small and cold and she tossed and turned in her bed, trying to sleep but the way he had abruptly left made her stomach ache all over again. It had been after she reminded him they weren’t dating.

But that wasn’t it. Was it? Was it jealousy? Annoyance he couldn’t come and she was ditching him again for the study group, anger at her talking to the guy? He had never said anything about them dating.

She just felt like an idiot.

Now she couldn’t sleep. She had a final in the morning and it was fucking important, and she couldn’t sleep. The one day she needed to. The bed felt even more empty and uncomfortable. Even the days they’d been spending apart with the studying had been way harder than she had let on. She had made it out to herself that it was good to have space, trying to hide that she was missing him so terribly it ached in her chest. She felt almost in denial, thinking that if she gave herself some space that her feelings would subside a bit.

That wasn’t how it worked, unfortunately. And she feared that Harry was feeling her pushing them away as pushing him away- which wasn’t the case. It was a sticky, irritating mess that was now impacting her sleep schedule.

It was 2 am and her brain wouldn’t shut off. Her bed was so cold and empty and her room was too quiet. There were no soft snores, no groans and no arms reaching to pull her closer to his body. No legs fighting their way to tangle with hers. No one to complain to that he was hogging the blankets or his legs were fuzzy against her own. Y/N had worked so hard to try to push the feelings of loving him away that now that the walls she had built up came crashing down, it was almost suffocating her. Like she was drowning in this weird guilted love that she had perhaps fucked up by getting defensive with him instead of just coming clean. Right now it felt like it wouldn’t be okay. He hadn’t texted her a real goodnight, hadn’t sent a cheesy pick up line, hadn’t done anything she had gotten so used to it had become second nature the past month.

The thing was Harry was probably the most perfect man she had met. Absolute boyfriend material. Sure, he had a slut phase, sure, he poked her buttons and prodded at her to make her eyes roll, but his pro’s far outweighed his cons. There was never a single time she had felt uncomfortable around him. Not in friendship, not in… whatever this sort of stage their relationship was. Y/N had a bit of a fear of men and Harry had never applied. He had always been different from the rest, proving himself to be the first truly respectable male influence in her life. That was partially why she had been so utterly terrified to like him as anything more than a friend. Of course she understood that it was laying the ground tiles of a good relationship, but relationships could fail. If it failed she would lose him completely.

Still… the idea of Harry with anyone else made her stomach turn violently. She sat in bed as she imagined being in his wedding party, watching his face as someone else walked down the aisle towards him. Adoration for someone who wasn’t her, loving and longing. Inside jokes she would never share, no more kisses, no making love, no soft murmurs and lips brushing the top of her head. No fingers tangled with her own as they walked to bed, no hands slipping under her shirt. No sweaters to borrow, no more scent of him on her pillow. No bad pickup lines, no dirty coffee mugs, no old band tee shirts in her laundry pile. Y/N gave him all sorts of shit because he had been obnoxious on purpose but she loved his antics. She bullied him playfully and he took it on the nose, knowing the intricacies of her triggers and how far was too far so he didn't press further past it. Even being a little shit he had managed to still be the person who respected her boundaries the most.

The loss that hadn’t even fully happened yet made her choke on a set of tears, turning as she stared at her phone.

She had to fix this. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t allow anyone else to take him and she had to stop avoiding how she felt.

-

Harry, a mile away, laid in bed almost mirrored perfectly. Staring blankly at his phone, rereading her messages as his thumb nervously stroked the side of his phone case. His nail caught on the silicone housing the volume buttons, a shaky exhale leaving his lips as he scrolled up to before their shift. The girl never failed to put a smile on his face, always making him laugh straight from his belly. Their little emoji guessing game made him smile to himself, her attitude visible through the tone of the text as he failed to get what she thought was so easy. Scrolling down a bit more, he saw their texts from when she had come over last night. Her playful mood sort of dismissing his true talk.

Perhaps it was slightly his fault for always taking the piss. He was sarcastic and full of jokes so he understood when it could be hard to understand if he was being serious or not, but he thought she would get it. He had missed her a lot the last few days. Not just the physical absence but her pulling away a bit to study. Now, though, he was beginning to let the little self loathing devil on his shoulder tell him things. Maybe she had been well aware of what he was saying and didn’t want to let him down so she played dumb instead. He had read something wrong along the way. That much was clear.

How had he gotten it so wrong? His eyes hurt from crying and his head throbbed, nose still stuffy. The shower hadn't done much to fix it, exhaustion tugging at his body but his mind still going a mile a minute with his overthinking. His bones felt tired and weak, feeling his bed equally as cold without her body curling up into his, her hair in his mouth and her fingers tugging his hand into her chest.

His mind was on how she had seemed to spill that sentence that had knocked him off filter. Still, it was echoing in his brain like his head was hollow and that was the one thing knocking around the walls of his skull. How easily she reminded him they were not actually dating. It had stung deep, especially with how he had been planning on asking her what the next steps were after their tests were done. He had been so sure she felt the same way. Friends with benefits didn’t do the shit they did. They didn't get little ‘thinking of you’ gifts, they didn’t embrace the way they did after sex. Didn’t pet the other hair and tell the other how much they adored each other. In Harry’s mind, friends with benefits did the do, were normal friends and that was that. The things they had been doing were couple level. Relationship territory.

Maybe he should have asked her what the arrangement would mean to her. Sure, they’d always been affectionate and obviously there was attraction there considering they’d always make out when they were drunk… but this was a different sort of thing. Harry couldn’t sleep well without her now. He had fucked himself.

There was nowhere in his or her apartment that he could look at without a memory of a moment of passion popping up. His bathroom sink, his shower. His hallway where they’d knocked the photo frame off the wall. His living room couch, his windows, his kitchen counter. For fucks sake, even his foyer. They were littered with traces of her memory and the physical reminders. They’d helped the other move into their apartments after 2 years of suffering through dorms. He wouldn't be able to forget and he really didn’t want to.

He loved her, even if this shit physically hurt.

His phone in his hand burned to text her but she was probably asleep. She needed sleep, working herself to the bone for good grades. He didn’t want to put that in jeopardy for this. As upset as he was, it wasn’t at her. Not really. It wasn't her fault he had read shit differently, that he had fallen so deeply in love he felt like he was drowning in his own feelings.

It was such an odd feeling. Overwhelming and compressing but thinking of her hurt and felt good at the same time. The fear had always been there but he found a bit of comfort in the unknown, at least back then. Now he was dreading the conversation because he knew in order to salvage their friendship he was going to have to be honest. Tell her he was getting too deep into it and they needed to stop the physical end of it. He would never want to stop seeing her but in order to keep himself from getting further down the rabbit hole of his feelings, he needed to stop.

That would be a huge challenge. Touching Y/N had become second nature, even more than it had been beforehand. Harry had always been touchy with her and she had let him. He was ready to hug and touch and snuggle at any moment, usually being the one to initiate. As time had progressed, Y/N had been more and more clingy with him and started initiating it. That had sent him to live on cloud nine. Having her hands in his hair or her lips pressing against his first, her body moving to lay on top of his? He had been overjoyed at finally having the energy matched. His body slumped further as he realized that would be the stop of it. It had to be, though. Each little touch, each little brush of fingertips and graze of lips had him digging himself deeper into his love for her.

The sex had been mind blowing. It was something he knew deep down he would never experience with anyone else. THere was no way in hell any other person could elicit the things Y/N did from his body. Fucking with feelings? He understood the hype now. They were not only sexually compatible, but their natural chemistry and care for one another had made their sex more open. Communication was easier, things were tried because they trusted one another. No one else could feel as good wrapped around him, no one else’s hands running down his back or legs wrapped around his waist would feel as right. Being with her felt like being home. He didn’t feel like moving house.

But he would have to salvage the ruins he had made of their home.

He flopped back on his bed after getting a glass of water, his body melting into the bed as he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to word this conversation tomorrow.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

I had a nice evening with N., his Mom & her spouse, whose name's Felix. He is a musician. He plays e-bass & piano. He used to play in a band. Now he earns his money with private piano- or e-bass lessons. Before that, I never really met Felix. I thought he was more serious at 56. But I gotta say, I was positively surprised. He is quite a... jokester. In any case, he is a nice guy from whom I can learn a lot. Like playing the piano. Well, frankly, I still can’t play the piano. I guess I didn’t take it seriously.

After dinner N.’s Mom had a little chat with me and Nico. Only 2 months and 2 weeks left, but Nico and I still haven’t thought of a name for our Baby. We talked about it weeks ago, but we just couldn’t agree. Let's see...

After that N’s Mom took the opportunity to talk to me about.... some unpleasant topics. She and my Mom talked a lot about Nico and me. My Mom told her, that I married Daniel and also about the risks to my Baby, due to my addiction & pills. I'd love to run away. But N.'s Mom was always nice to me, so I decided to talk to her. She didn’t want to expose me or anything. She just wanted to make something clear.

N.'s Mom: You don’t have to talk to me about your marriage. I know how uncomfortable this is for you and I also know how it feels to divorce.

Me: I’m so sorry I wasn’t honest to you. I was so ashamed. I knew Nico and Stephanie were engaged and still got involved with him. And yea, I was also married. 😞

N.'s Mom: Don't worry about that.... Nobody is perfect A... Remember when you told me about your addiction? You thought this would change my mind about you. But you were and still are, such a nice girl. After you and N. broke up, I was... surprised & sad. But I never expected you, to call me and talk to me about it. I noticed when you visited P.’s Mom, that you avoided me. I want you to know, that I wasn’t upset about it. I know you were sad..... And yes, your high-risk pregnancy worries me, but I don’t judge you.

Me: I’m so glad you brought this up. Yk, I didn’t visit P.’s Mom and Fabienne often. It was hard for me to be there. I kept looking over to your house, thinking about N. It hurt sm... We all hurt each other a lot. In the end, I was glad it was over. I mean both of them! 😞... Still, I never want to be separated from N. again. As for my pregnancy, I’m really happy rn, but at the same time, also worried about my Baby. 😞

N.'s Mom: Whatever comes, you’ll make it... Your parents and I will help you. If, you want that.

Me: Thank you. I will certainly accept your help.

N.'s Mom: I hope you feel comfortable in this old house. There’s still so much to do, but I can handle it.

Me: The livingroom's so cozy & beautiful. The hallway upstairs looks a little creepy to me. But I think this gives the house that ...special charm. I kinda like it.

N.'s Mom: The house is old. It belonged to his parents and I knew we would have a lot of work here. But since I’m having a grandbaby, I thought, this is the perfect place for us.

Me: 😳Yeah, I get what you mean. I'm sure our little one will like it.

I felt very comfortable with N.’s Mom and Felix, they are both so nice. I hope the good mood remains. 😬 It’s N’s birthday soon, so his Mom invited Melanie too. She tried to reconcile us. I think N.’s Mom forgot how MEAN and insane her daughter is? 😠 Anyway, I'll try but... agh, Idk?

Previous/Next

[kiirostarz]

Opinion of Magnifico

So…this is another case of "the villain isn't bad because his intentions are good"? Or at least that's what I've seen from people. Personally, no. Yes, he is handsome. But he's definitely a villain, not like The Evil Queen or Scar, but he's a bad guy.

I think in one part of the movie Magnifico mentions that he doesn't even see the wishes once they are taken away from him and he starts to go crazy when he finds the true power of the wishes.

The kingdom of Rosas already loved and respected him, but for some reason when someone even slightly doubts something, "It's disrespectful"… Eh, yes because they gave you something important and YOU PROMISED to fulfill it. Aren't they within their rights to even ask about that?

And returning to the topic that he didn't even see those desires: Many people keep saying that Asha is irresponsible for wanting to fulfill all of them, that's what I'll say. One, no. Asha did not want ALL of them to come true, in the clip they uploaded she clearly knows that there are bad, crazy desires, etc. But they can be stopped (Like Magnifico himself) Even if they are almost impossible and dangerous like flying, he could give them the advice or tools to accomplish them.

But there is also something else here, the dependence of the citizens of Rosas on Magnifico. And that Magnifico never saw this in a negative way, it only fueled his ego and pride. Asha helps them to be more independent of his ideas. It's not just about waiting for your desires to come true, it's about working on them. With its mistakes and successes.

And also, didn't you think that if Magnifico didn't see these desires, he was also irresponsible for him? because he could stop that person before he did something crazy. The second thing is that I feel that when you give him your greatest desire, you also give him your ability to dream and be able to work on them, that's why you have to wait for him one day. Some day. He grants it. But, what if someone wanted to be a better leader than him, perhaps a young man or woman with better ideas, better leadership and listening… I feel like Magnifico also wanted to prevent that from happening… to maybe I don't know… have all the attention on him? Because Queen Amaya didn't even seem to be as important as Magnifico to the citizens.

I hope the point is understood, because I'm already a little tired of hearing the same thing.

Plus, I think Magnifico is a less macabre version of Gaston and Frollo. Dude, come on. Use his influence to find a girl he considers a threat? Narcissism in his person? I think Gaston would have done something similar if the townspeople learned hunting on his behalf, he really wouldn't be so useful anymore. Unless he helped them. But… that's impossible.

I know the movie has flaws. I know. Personally I enjoyed it, not as much as other movies, but I thought it was cute. But these ridiculous over-analyses that don't even have to do with the theme of the movie are really bothering me… 😬

I clarify that I saw the movie in a language other than English, so I could miss something, but I have heard the songs and seen enough videos to say that calling Magnifico good is crazy, maybe I will edit this if a new one comes up detail. ❤️

Remember, this is just my opinion. <3

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 430 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

I ALREADY KNOW EVERYBODY ON TUMBLR IS GOING CRAZY OVER THIS CHAPTER RN. I STG. 💀💀💀💀 (But same guys… 👀) AND HERE ARE THE REASONS:

Honestly, all of us in this chapter because it’s gonna be a DOOZYYY. 🤭

Oh boy. Back to this photo again.

I kinda already had a feeling this was the case because why did Charles freak out during that time when he visited Daniel?

Ooooooo, new ally? 🤔

Uhhhhh…. 😬

SURE JAMES… YOU MAY LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL, BUT I FOR SOME REASON DON’T TRUST YOU. AFTER THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU PULLED WITH THE WORKERS AND YOU BETRAYED CHARLES CHOI, I DUNNO… KINDA FISHY TO ME. 😑 (I have a feeling he’s going to betray Daniel… maybe. Idk that’s just my hunch.)

Uh ha ha, Mr. James Lee… WE KNOW WHERE THIS MAN IS AT!! 

DANIEL I DON’T TRUST JAMES. PLSSSSSSSSS NOOOOO. NOT YET.

Bruv. LMAAOOOOO NICE SAVE, IG. James be like, “Uh... ok?” 💀

Oh god, oh god, oh god oh god... Jake and Lineman....

Bro, I bet most people forgot that this was a war amongst TEENAGERS. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The crazy eyes, bruh. I cannot... 😬 

Awww, Ryuhei... 😭 Missing Samuel. ❤️

Literally Ryuhei @ Samuel Seo:

HELLOOOOOOO????? PTJ????? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH THAT PANEL, SIR. IT WAS YOUR DECISION TO DRAW THAT. WHY DOES HE HAVE A GAG, AND WHO’S IS IT???? KINKY ASS- 👁👄👁 

BRUHHHH IM SCREEEAAAAMMMINGGGSAHJDKFHLDJ!!!!!!!

HELLO??? NEW GIRL CRUSH???? 👀👀👀👀

Oh...

Well I expected that she was working for them. Sorry Samuel, ya done now- 

Oh... x2 Poor Johan, Samuel, and Daniel bruh. R.I.P. Ayo, Workers First Affiliate???? HOLD ON NOW-

DANIEL BEING THE BOSS ASS BITCH THAT HE IS!!!!! YESSSSS KIIIIINNNGGGG. YOU GO AND MAKE YOUR OWN CREW AND THEN GO BEAT THEIR ASSES!!! 😤😤😤 (Even though I believe that’s what Gun wanted from him in the first place from that one chapter.) ALSO DAMN, LOOK AT DANIEL’S MUSCULAR YET BROAD BACK. MODEL MUCH? 😩😩

THE 3 BIG J’S ARE BACKKKK!!!!!!!!  I GOT CHILLS, BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

WAIT, DANIEL. IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS??????? PLSSSSSSSSSS

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *VELOCIRAPTOR SCREECHES* OMGGGGGG!!!!! JAAAAAYYYYYY, OUR KING IS BAAAAACCCCKKK!!!!! IM CRYING, PISSING, AND SHITTING MYSELF RN. OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN FUCKING HEARD, LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 😤😤😤😤😫😫😫😫😫😫😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD BRUH, I CANT. IM SOBBING RN. YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE THIS MAN AFTER 200+ CHAPTERS. 

OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT. ANOTHER MEMBER TOO? WHO IS ITTTTT???????? 

Bruh. I’m betting it’s the Hudson dude who Daniel fought with. If not, then I’m guessing Vin Jin. OR TAESOO MA. Those are my two guesses. PERO OVERALL, THIS MF CHAPTER ASDGHFASKJDFHASKJFHSADKHJF. SO MUCH WAS GOING ON HERE. I feel bad for Big Deal for being forced into hiding like that. I just hope that they join with Daniel’s crew eventually so that they can beat the Workers. Also, free ya bois Samuel, Johan, and Daniel’s 2nd body. They really need it rn. 😔🙏🏽 AND WE GET TO FINALLY SEE JAYYYYYYYYYY!!!! OUR SOFT KING.  DANIEL PARK’S KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕 I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE. SHIT IS GONNA KEEP GETTING INTERESTING FROM HERE ON OUT. 

(ALSO, I’M SORRY THAT THERE’S LESS MEMES IN THIS CHAPTER. THERE’S TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING AND I CAN’T SEEM TO THINK OF GOOD IDEAS BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL MOSTLY SERIOUS.) 

[thatswhatsushesaid]

6, 28 and 31 for the fun ask!

6. what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator? is... is that what i am? surprisedpikachu.jpeg

best part: aside from having a dedicated space to extrude all of the jgy-related nonsense kicking around in my brain, i love getting to chat with other jgy fans and share ideas that help me better understand the book, as well as vent my spleen to people who also share my similar frustrations with the fandom. which isn't to say that my husband doesn't listen when i need to whine about people being wrong on the internet about my special guy, but the most he can do is sadly pet my shoulder and be like "i don't understand any of this but i'm sad you're sad :c"

also my favourite thing in the world is making other people laugh, and seeing people keymashing their laughter in the notes of my memes and shitposts every day is the ultimate dopamine hit. 🤌

worst part: probably the knowledge that there are many people in this fandom who have a very unflattering idea of who i am and what i'm about, and who either send me anon hate over it or, as i discovered last month, try to drag me on anon comms. it sucks, but i will say that running this blog has forced me to make peace with the fact that none of us can ever control how we are seen by others. my options are either shut up and never share my thoughts here again--which is what the people who really hate my presence in the fandom want--or just keep on doing my thing, and hope that my actions speak for themselves. so that's what i'm doing.

28. do you collect anything? ceramic cat figurines! the tackier the better tbh.

31. are you messy or organised? ....yes. and no. i spend all of my organization points on my day job, which is very case-file oriented, and on trying to impose some kind of order onto my blog here. my living space looks like a clutter bomb went off and exploded paperwork and post-it notes and random animal care stuff everywhere. one time i asked my husband to grab something from my office/fish room/reptile room for me, and basically the second he opened the door and stepped inside i just heard him sigh and go "oh no kitty cat 😬" which is. never encouraging. lmao.

[shezky]

Hey, it's me again, I must admit that these last few days I've been feeling very...I don't know, bored?, tired?, maybe a little fed up with my routine?, whatever it was, it was strong enough to make me want to take online classes to learn how to play the guitar, it's like, I already know how to play a song or two, but I would like to know as much as possible to even encourage me to make my own songs, I don't know, something I was thinking about, but that wasn't the case, the thing is, about two days ago while I was, I don't remember if it was on Rem's server or Artemy's maybe, I found a user who uploaded the sprites of some random incrediman, like a base polo, and I said to myself "Hey, that's cool man, maybe I can use this to make my own incredidude" and everything was fine with that, but I really didn't know what to do, I have the imagination and everything but, at that moment, I didn't feel like I had the mental capacity to invent a polo out of nothing without first thinking things through, and that's when I told myself "Girl, didn't you already have a little polo around?" And yes! I did, so...remember Rain? Well, it took me forever just to say that...Yeah...I made my damn boy Rain here a "real incrediman", I tried to make him as polished as possible so I hope he looks good ☠️

And of course, I also have a version with a background, just in case 😬

And of course, after a long day, to release stress, I decided to doodle a little, one thing led to another and I ended up with a little comic-like doodle, about, guess who? My silly guy Rain 🥶

I didn't think to take it so much importance since it was something that came from a mere distraction to my real objective on that occasion, but I spent enough time to just think about him and the story that surrounds him, if I dare maybe I'll make him a character sheet or something like that, anyway here's the thing I did 😬

The first time I saw you, my other Ocs and I wanted to kill you, but now you are part of the family, te queremos mayoneso (amare a quien sepa sobre ese meme).

And that's all, maybe in a day or two I'll upload a drawing of Agatha that I had planned for today but for work reasons I couldn't finish the drawing in my sketchbook, that's it, bye everyone, I'm falling asleep so bad 🫶

[quaranmine]

One more ask, lol.

Something just occurred to me that really drives home just how unsolvable this whole thing was.  Grian found Mumbo on pure accident, which just drives home the fact that Grian is not in control.  This is something you made clear through the narrative and in the authors notes. 

It had to be an accident.  Because I'm think back to when Grian and Scar were analyzing the initial search.  They both saw fault with the fact that they focused the search on Cloud Lake without even considering Pinnacles, and the fact that Mumbo was given a permit for a Cloud Lake, a closed trail, in the first place.

But Mumbo was SO FAR off trail in such a tricky, hidden spot that, EVEN IF the initial search would have led them to Pinnacles, EVEN IF they would have found the bag and the bike, EVEN IF Mumbo had been given a permit for Pinnacles instead of Cloud Lake from the very start... it might not have mattered.  It might have already been too late.  They STILL might not have been able to find him alive, or even at all, before the area was evacuated for the fire.

Just... there really was no rhyme or reason.  No hidden cause.  No fault.  Just...

There's this Irish folk song I'm low-key obsessed with in which the countryside is described as "where nature is seen both majestic and savage." 

Mumbo died due to the majestic, savage nature of... well.  Nature. 

And there's nothing anyone could have done.  

(I hope it's clear that I'm using the word "savage" as an adjective describing a fierce, violent force of nature and not... other contexts 😬)

Yes, exactly! Actually putting this under a cut it got long lol

Not going to lie I did Worry a few times throughout writing this about having a plot that was so heavily dependent on accidents. Like, is it undermining character agency to have significant things just happen? Do my characters drive the plot or is it just happening to them? The other hikers finding Mumbo's bike in chapter 3/4 was an accident. Most of the events of chapter 11 were an accident.

But genuinely from a real-life perspective...that's how things just happen. This story is kind of a non-mystery mystery. It's a mystery in the sense that we don't know where Mumbo is or what happened. But it's not a mystery in the sense that is some conspiracy to be unraveled, a killer to be arrested, etc. I talked about this in another ask a few weeks ago about how I mystery write, but this fic had a lot of unique barriers to it. Firstly, from a purely practical plot perspective, Grian has like nothing to work with. He has no access to any SAR tools. He doesn't have access to documents (at first lmao) or any other type of hard copy research. He cannot go out and interview people or do anything else a mystery protagonist would typically do to find "clues" because he's alone in a fire lookout. That's it. That's the setting. There is a guy who is alone in the wilderness who wants to find someone.....out of hundreds of square miles of nothing. With no real tools except his own two feet, a map, and a new friend who can only give voiceover help.

So.....there's already a hard limit on what he can reasonably do without the narrative helping him out a little. And I think I did my best harnessing everything he could do on his own. Now, Grian also THINKS he can solve it all himself. He sees no issue with this set-up. As the author though I'm forced to consider HOW he plans to do all this though lol. So again from a reasonable perspective, he ain't working with much. He himself would not have considered Pinnacles if the bike didn't get found. He might have pieced together that Mumbo took a different trail, but he would've had no way to figure out which one. Meanwhile, I just focused on building the plot of his personal journey. I also just focused on the parallels between how Mumbo got to the place he was and how Grian ended up there too.

Also speaking of the initial search at Cloud Lake, I want to highlight a case I listened to on the Out Alive podcast from Backpacker Magazine. It's the episode "Finding Life on the Edge of Death" about Andrew Devers who was missing for 9 days on the Pratt River Trail in Oregon in 2021 (and survived.) First of all, excellent episode. Also, I did not listen to this until after I had worked out the plot, but it really strengthened my conviction in the storyline I had laid out. And I did end up referencing something from this episode in chapter 10. Specificaly, Andrew went hiking alone on a trail that recently had a landslide. Because the environment was so drastically changed, when he turned around to hike back he couldn't find his way at all. And I was like, yeah. That's why Mumbo's search continued to stay in the same area even though the trail was closed. Because this happens. They thought he lost the original trail in the landslide, just like this guy did. They thought that the trail being closed actually increased his chances of being lost there because it increased his chances of losing his way. They just didn't realize he actually turned around and went somewhere else. No conspiracy. Just a misguided assumption on the situation.

Also it really is horrifying how difficult it is to find people in the wilderness. So many people who go missing are found months or even years later on accident. I'm also reminded of the tragic case of Geraldine Largay, who died after going missing on the Appalachian trail. She survived 26 days. Search teams got within a 100 yards of her location, but they didn't find her body until two years later. She was only two miles off-trail, and only 30 mins walk from a road. She got turned around after simply stepping off trail to use the restroom. It hurts my heart so much. More recently last November, in my own beloved Big Bend National Park, Christy Perry went missing on the Lost Mine Trail for 8 days and was later found alive. She was so lost but only 1/4 a mile off-trail. I've been on that trail many times. I've....um.....been off-trail on that trial many times....Anyway, I was keeping an eye on updates constantly hoping she'd be found because it looked so bad for her, but she was fortuantely okay.

Anyway I guess my point is that people really do get hopelessly lost all the time while being close to trails, and being close to trail doesn't mean someone will be found quickly or at all. And in Mumbo's case...he wasn't anywhere where people thought he might be. Grian's mission was a needle in a haystack. If I were truly being realistic, he wouldn't have found him at all, but that's where I'm using narrative power.

So yeah. Accidents. Sometimes you're just not in control. Sometimes bad things happen. Nature majestic and savage indeed....

[always-rolling-my-eyes]

Here are my thoughts on the DWTS Cast and Partnerships

Who I’m excited for:

-Stephen and Rylee - Mr. Pummel Horse Man! Before the Olympics even started I thought it would be cool if DWTS got a male gymnast for a change and after he went viral I knew he was a lock for the show. He’s clearly the early frontrunner and barring anything catastrophic, I can’t see them not making the finals because even if his dancing skills are subpar he will for sure be the People’s Prince and will be raking in the votes. I’m a little disappointed he didn’t get paired with Britt or Daniella, but I lowkey feel like Rylee is being primed to be the new face of the show to attract a new generation so, I’m not too surprised they gave her the ringer of the season. Plus, I’m looking forward to seeing what she can do choreography-wise with a competent partner. They’re my preseason winner pick

-Illona and Alan - Love her personality, love her attitude, love her confidence, love her. I am SO happy she is doing the show. I was worried they wouldn’t want more than one Olympian on the season but I am so glad that wasn’t the case. Not only do I think she is going to kill it but I also think she will be the most fun. I have high hopes for Alan, he’s usually pretty reliable when it comes to choreography. I don’t really remember anything remarkable from him over the years, but I also don’t remember anything super terrible, so I think he knows the potential he has with this partnership and he won’t waste it. I think she could be the closest to spoiling Stephen’s win and it’s crazy how possible an all-Olympian Final 2 is

-Tori and Pasha - Donna Martin graduates! Sorry, but my fellow 90’s kids will know exactly what I’m talking about. I cannot be the only person who can’t believe she hasn’t done this show before, especially considering how many other 90210 cast members have been on already (RIP Shannon Doherty 💔🕊️) I don’t think she’ll be a great dancer, probably more middle of the pack, but she does have Pasha as a pro, and that goes a long way in this competition. I think with Pasha’s ability to teach / choreograph to his partner’s strengths and being the perfect 90’s nostalgia vote for the demographic, I can see her going far…unless she’s super, super terrible 😬

-Reginald and Emma - Oh, hi Big Guy! I didn’t even like Family Matters all that much but I still can’t tell you how lowkey excited I was when I heard his name, and I think a lot of others will feel the same. I think he’s going to be lovable and sweet and another one who will hit this demographic right in all the nostalgia feels. And with Emma as a partner, well that girl has proven herself (time and time again 😒) to being a miracle worker, and as frustrated as I am that she always gets partners like this, I can’t say I don’t enjoy the partnerships because she is just so good with them. He’s either an early boot or going far and the show will have to manipulate his elimination

Who I’m intrigued by:

-Danny and Witney - All I know is that he’s a football player and they notoriously do well on this show, so I have to admit I am very interested to see what he can do and WITNEY’S BACK! The last time she came back from a break she was better than ever so I am very much looking forward to seeing her in the ballroom again and I think this pair will be a dark horse to look out for

-Chandler and Brandon - I have never heard of her before. Disney girl, Pretty Little Liars spinoff, that’s all I got when I looked her up. I think she’s going to be a great dancer and Brandon will do great with her, however, I worry about her coming in with what could potentially be a very young and small fanbase and I don’t think the producers will go out of their way to help Brandon, do I can see this couple being a sacrificial lamb to help move forward the producers agenda. Then again, I had never heard of Xochitl last season and she won the whole damn thing so, who knows 😂

-Phaedra and Val - THIS A’INT PHAEDRA! (RHOA fans will understand) She’s hysterical, works hard and knows what needs to be done but doesn’t take herself too seriously. I think she will be a great performer but perhaps some of the more technical dances might be problematic for her but I think her personality will shine through no matter what. Still hate Val.

-Jenn and Sasha - I don’t watch any of the Bachelor / Bachelorette, but I heard she had a DEVASTATING night on Monday, like oh my god. This last minute addition does feel a little bit icky, like ABC is trying to ease some of the blowback they got from fans and the media for how she was treated during her finale, but I hope she has fun and enjoys the experience…well, as much as she can enjoy is with Sasha as her partner. I have zero faith in Sasha’s abilities. Why DWTS feels the need to continuously shove this untalented, misogynistic, offensive gremlin down our throats I will never know but all I can hope for is Jenn gets a positive experience out of it

Who I’m ehh on:

-Joey and Jenna - Like I said, I don’t watch any of the Bachelor / Bachelorette so I still kind of have no idea who this man is. Jenna’s a terrible teacher, so unless he has dance experience already he is not going to be good, but Bachelor Nation will probably carry him to at least the middle of the season, but I am curious if they will split votes between Joey and Jenn. I wonder who Bachelor Nation would rally behind, Joey or Jenn? But the real question is, who would the producers rally behind, Sasha or Jenna? 🤔 Watch this space…

-Brooks and Gleb - I have no idea who this woman is. A Sports Illustrated model? Great, more mediocre, sexy dances from Gleb, just what I was hoping for. I think they’ll get to week 3, MAYBE week 4, until Gleb checks out and they’ll end up being a middle, unexciting elimination

Who I wish I didn’t have to acknowledge their existence:

-Dwight and Dani - Never a fan of SA allegations, so I will not be supporting. Sucks Dani has to deal with this because I know she is probably going to come up with some amazing choreography for him but 🤮

-Eric and Britt - YUCK. So problematic, I just…don’t understand why they would even cast this man…did they think there would be a chance Julia would show up in the ballroom? Who am I kidding, they would’ve settled for Emma, but neither is happing, that’s for damn sure. Why do they keep doing this to Britt? She deserves so much better (no female pro deserves to have to deal with this, for the record) DWTS is never kind to her but at least she’s getting a husband out of it

-Anna and Ezra - I don’t care. I just…don’t care. The ankle monitor just shows how low this show is willing to go which is especially gross when there are plenty of celebrities who have been campaigning to get on this show for years and she doesn’t even seem to want to be here. Ezra, I am so sorry, but maybe they’ll let you choreograph one of the pro numbers?

Me being petty:

SOMEONE CHECK ON SCHEANA (Vanderpump Rules fans will understand 😂)

[sunlightfeeling]

so..... how did you get into smap, anyway? (i would like to hear the origin story)

hiii anon! i would love to tell this story!!

first the elevator pitch version:

like a lot of more recent fans (i.e. post-JE launch), i was a victim (affectionate) of the RGG to SMAP pipeline

…bit of a boring story, and honestly isn’t a real indication of how I got to have this brain (affectionate, i love having five old men stewing in my brain all hours of the day 👍😬)

sooo im going to tell the story of how the pipeline hit me so hard 😄

the real origin goes back to 2021…

(im gonna make a cut for this story because this is gonna be long long - i promise this isn’t an exaggeration)

so back in 2021, i had an xbox one and game pass (side note: game pass is so worth it, actually fantastic)

and I found a series that I had never heard of…Yakuza

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hX9EomZwntU

sorry

anyway

downloaded Yakuza 0 and started it up

really dug the vibes, story, music, legitimately everything

then I reached Majima’s first chapter and ooooh the opening got me good

not too long after getting to this chapter, I was graciously gifted a ps5

and one of the first things i did was…

…impulsively buy every Yakuza release on ps4

…and the Judgments as soon as I realized they were under RGG’s umbrella

…after only playing like probably less than 10 hours of a prequel

(disclaimer: i do not mean to romanticize/minimize impulse purchasing; I’m more trying to give an accurate image of how deeply invested I got in a series that essentially sent me on my path; i was/am very fortunate and cognizant of how lucky i am to be able to cover/shield myself from consequences of my actions - so to speak lol)

probably six-ish months and 2 hiatuses later, I reached Y6

and i dont know if it was because the game was the last Kiryu game (at the time) and I was getting all emotional, or if it was because the likeness to Kuroda was pretty…

<stares at pictures of Y6 Kiryu way too long>

…preeeetty 🫠

i started developing (what knowing what i know now call) a hyperfixation on not just Y6 but also Kuroda Takaya lol

basically listened to his music whenever I could/on repeat; Y6 was the only thing I wanted to spend my free time playing; etc etc etc

(for reasons, this fixation actually led me to consider my possible neurodivergence; I wonder why 🤔..🥲)

finish Y6 and become baseline-which-isnt-really-baseline normal about Yakuza when I play LAD7

but then….

“Alex, stop hyperlinking sound effects”

(affectionate)

yeahhh it’s Judgey Time

okay so ive mentioned in tags somewhere but i actually didnt have high hopes for Judgment

at all

the cover just didn’t do anything for me at all…

…and i thought the protagonist was ugly 💀

(im actually genuinely serious, this isn’t me “not like the other girls”ing; i vividly recall looking at the cover when it was about time for me to start playing it and whining to my then-bf that I wasn’t sure I was gonna like it cuz the guy looks really weird 🤣)

but i booted it up and right when Yagami shows off his badge in the prologue

girl

giiiiiirl

I didn’t realize at the time but the seed had been planted and baby that beanstalk grew

Halloween 2022 (and I only know this date for a fact because I memorialized it texting then-bf about it) is the day I decided to look up who this guy really was

I can’t recall what made me finally look him up, whether lurking on the Yakuza subreddit or just something in the game, I dunno

i shared it once but I’ll share it anytime i can…

^^ this was my first Kimura photo

the first one I actually paid more than just a passing glance at anyway……

…i finished judgment in like two/three weeks [and not in a rushed playthrough by any means - getting all the cats, doing all the side cases/romance, etc.] (have a text trail of me going into the finale and date stamp is p exactly two weeks from Halloween 🥲)

started lost judgment immediately because i have texts days after this bitching about dropping money on the dlc before even starting it lol (again: not recommending/romanticizing; just giving perspective on how active my brain was about RGG/Kimura already)

now this…..this is where my timeline gets fuzzy

because i cant really remember how fast i beat lj before starting his dramas

or if maybe i started them before even finishing the game

skipping ahead to January 2023 and I’ve definitely wrapped lj by this point

and have watched a fair amount of kimura dramas (i genuinely cant give a number tho 😭)

around this point, ive determined that im fairly confident in being audhd

and i personally would have described kimura as a combined special interest-hyperfixation at this point (because the intensity would ebb and flow in a way)

started collecting things, starting with his albums and his live recordings (and eventually a lot lot more [I’ll get back to scanning consistently eventually I promise lol])

the defining moment to when I finally crossed from Kimura to SMAP…

…was actually watching Go with the Flow

I had heard bits of SMAP, but, as many unfortunately discover, accessibility to their music is…..well it’s just not there lol

I even got YouTube Music because I found playlists of SMAP performances and could just listen to them while I was working or driving

not that I could really hear them all that well since they were all live performances w screaming or muffled audio/crunchy audio/remixes/etc etc etc

(except for pams seigi shoutout to pams seigi [sorry goro 😔; also i linked that specific one for the tags but please look in the reblogs for a diff version of seigi that they did because it’s ridiculously good])

On Go with the Flow, Kimura performs “Style” which made me go on basically a witch-hunt to find the song since it wasn’t an album track and I didn’t know SMAP’s discography

Eventually found out it was SMAP (Kimura solo on s.m.a.p specifically) and decided that I actually really needed to listen to SMAP

aaaaaand I did ☺️

and then I found Jes yeah no I definitely didn’t

and…that is my SMAP origin story

[spiderfreedom]

I've now twice run into the situation where a relatively famous feminist-minded scholar was basically smeared after her death by a single man who was so angry at her research, that he launched a campaign to "reassess" her work and call her either a crackpot or naive. it took decades for the field to change and people to realize either that the attacks were lies or that her theory was right

I'll post in more detail later but I really do think that it takes a relatively small amount of very angry men who take feminist women personally to launch full on attacks on them. and since in both cases this happened after the female scholar was dead, they weren't even able to respond

when I was a kid I had this idea that feminist science was an oxymoron, that you cannot be a feminist and be a researcher at the same time because your objectivity would be compromised. I fully believed that feminist researchers were crackpots, and only "good non-partisan women" could be researchers

turns out none of that was right. firstly, science absolutely requires subjectivity and people who are willing to fight for an issue to the death. pitting totally different viewpoints against each other and analyzing the evidence is how the field moves forward. anti-women researchers have never excused themselves from research on account of their anti-woman bias, so why should feminist researchers?

secondly, i'm just going to be much more sceptical when anyone calls a previously admired woman researcher a crackpot. especially if she's dead. it's not that there aren't women researchers who do bad science or unethical science (ask me about the lady who tested the genes of a native american tribe for incest without their consent 😬). but when one guy is leading a crusade and spends decades angry about a feminist line of inquiry? yeah i'm going in with extra caution

i'd like to write more about how feminism and the philosophy of science can actually work together, but it's a very new idea i have, it will take a while to develop. but i was just reading a book on philosophy of science that argued that subjectivity was actually quite important for debates in the natural sciences because it meant there was a diversity of opinions where people had the motivation to do the grueling tedious work of science in the hopes of finding evidence. and over time the field will agree or disagree on that evidence, but we need passionate motivated people doing that work in the first place... and I don't see why feminism can't be a motivator