#so i really fell behind on keeping up during the pandemic

[mediumtires]

Why do I get the feeling this should be a bigger part of fanon? The two of them getting an early Friday morning wake-up call to join all other F1 authorities in a meeting that will determine that the 2020 Australian Grand Prix and the rest of the season are, for the time being, cancelled. I mean look a them, they just fell out of bed together

#body language

covid and the 2020 season are for sure things i keep thinking about and coming back to!

i’m not sure if i want to write something fun and small about working from home during the pandemic because like, they’d been on the road for the entirety of their relationship right? they met in the paddock, they got married during the season, so up until covid, they’d never really been home together for a long time, with nowhere else to go! so i think this would be a great opportunity for some domestic husbands fluff but also annoyed husbands getting on each others nerves and also almost crashing important zoom calls fluff.

just imagine christian fuming because toto has not cleaned up the kitchen yet and he’s not done the laundry and he tracked dirt all over the house when he came back from walking the dogs that morning and it really is the last straw because christian told him a million fucking times to close the goddamn kitchen cabinets and put the lid back on the toothpaste and so he waltzes into toto’s office, no fucks given, and he’s about to start shouting but he just about catches the panic in toto’s eyes from where he’s sitting behind his desk with his stupid headset on, one hand scrambling to cover the microphone and that’s when christian realised that uh oh, this may or may not have been a very silly idea whoops.

so he tactically retreats and waits for toto to come find him after his stupid meeting and then he starts shouting.

[meekmedea]

Not sure how exactly I fell down this rabbit hole, but last night, I kept thinking back about to this ask. Somehow it led deeper down the rabbit hole and now I have a way to justify keeping Clemensia + the rest of the Dovecotes names as they are.

Possible Dovecote Lore (for this one AU only)

When Anise dies and is buried in 11, Ludius doesn't bring Hector back to the Capitol. They stay in the Districts despite the then matriarch threatening to disinherit him.

It remains a threat, Ludius is never disinherited. Not that the man knows that. Or uses any of the accounts he's entitled to as heir.

Setting in 11, the two Dovecotes have a home built. Think private land.

Studying in the Capitol is still possible as someone from the Districts if you have good grades and/or money. Hector still goes on to become a doctor. Meets Cleopatra. Probably Max too, though probably not as close as they were in other AUs.

Max isn't really sure what to think of him. (Gloriam levels of delusion to justify their friendship??)

Cleopatra is only in 11 to expand/oversee the family business. Definitely not because of a certain handsome doctor. Except she's not fooling anyone, but Hector. But that's just Hector.

Hector & Cleopatra do marry, they remain in D11 - Hector doesn't travel as much in this one, travelling is mainly confined to within D11. Unfortunately, Hector doesn't escape his fate and still dies in a pandemic, leaving behind his grieving wife + son.

Endymion doesn't work for the government in this AU, but he did attend university in the Captiol - he's a teacher both at the school and as a piano teacher to the wealthier families amongst 11. Rumoured to help run his mother's family business. But no concrete evidence.

Aelia is the one that has government ties in this one. Still Capitol born and ended up assigned to work in 11. Liaison between Peacekeepers and Mayor. Post-dark days, she works for the mayor.

Clementines! Not exactly, Dovecote clementines, but still Aelia + Endymion's thing.

Clemensia is more so named for the fruit than for the goddess this time around. Still sort of both, because it's a nod to her parents' heritage.

Stuck in the Districts during the war.

Cleopatra died during the war as well.

POST-dark days

Wealth took a hit after the war, much was confiscated. Including their family home. Assigned one in the merchant area instead.

Rumours that the Dovecotes used to be Capitol. Or have some Capitol ties. Their names hint at this at least.

But Hector's work within the District is still well remembered. And other Dovecotes are fairly well liked/have a good reputation.

The name Dovecote remains part of the elite in the Captiol. Only a cadet branch exists over there.

So when Clemmie is reaped for the 10th games, the elites gossip that it must have been rigged. That the cadet branch was trying to get rid of the main branch.

I guess Felix being assigned to mentor her is a status sort of thing.

[ray-winters]

Why did you get into performing? What made you like it so much? (Non judgemental just curious-)

There’s a long answer to this, but the short version is that I had a not so amazing home life in high school. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends starting out, and I never really had something I was passionate about except for like video games. I was also super in the closet and wasn’t allowed to be myself really outwardly anywhere, and theatre gave me an escape from all of that.

Long version: Theatre gave me an escape from everything at home, I got to leave the stresses of the real world behind and pretend I was in Neverland, or whatever else we happened to be doing. I was able to tell people about me being gay (private Catholic high school, and I started high school in 2009 so, it was a different time for the queer babies) I found a community, I found friends, and on top of ALL of that, I felt seen. It was something I was able to fully invest myself in, and it worked out for me. It gave me the self-discipline that I desperately needed.

I got pretty jaded and stopped performing from 2015-2019, and I truly had 0 motivation and 0 direction. I fell into some really nasty habits, and was deeeeply depressed. I picked it back up in 2019 and have not stopped since, even during the pandemic I tried to keep theatre alive & well in Vegas the only way I knew how.

Theatre’s always just felt like home to me. It was and still is incredibly therapeutic for me. Like for example, I was in a pretty foul mood yesterday before the show and used it to make Billy a lil bit angrier than usual, and it genuinely got it out of my system in a healthy & controlled way. And then I got to make a crowd of people laugh and take THEM away from the real life outside of the theatre walls for a few hours.

Idk theatre is magic and it high key saved my life.

I love it.

[shewholuvsgreen]

“My life’s journey from childhood memories to present realities.”

My childhood was pretty chaotic but fun. I grew up moving from place to place with my family, but the countryside was where i felt most at home. Nature has always been my sanctuary, always fascinated by its overwhelming serenity. My life was colored with simplicity and a loving family, I explored the world with them and created some of my fondest memories.

When I was young, I didn't like school much. I preferred playing outside, picking flowers, and turning them into delicious dishes that I then sold to my pretend customers, who were my cousins and friends. They would give me candy wrappers as payment. We also played games like bahay-bahayan, hide-and-seek, and other traditional games that were enjoyable and fun. I remember my grandparents or parents not wanting us to play outside if we didn't sleep during siesta. So what I did was fake sleep until they fell asleep, then I would sneak out to play with my friends! I know I'm not the only one who's done this, right?

As I got older, my childhood days filled with both chaos and happiness started to change. I began to spend more time in school, and although I still loved being outside, I had to deal with new things I had to do. Growing up and becoming a teenager came with its own difficulties and things to learn.

I found solace in books, losing myself in stories that transported me to different worlds and ignited my imagination. Even though I didn't always enjoy school at first, I started to really like learning. Each year, I realized how much education could offer me, giving me chances to do things I never thought possible when I was younger.

Throughout my teenage years, I struggled with figuring out who I was and where I fit in. Because my family moved a lot, I learned how to adapt to new places, but I also wished for a stable home. Even though we moved around a lot, my family was always there for me, giving me love and support whenever I needed it. They were like my anchor, keeping me steady through all the changes in life.

During the pandemic, I was still in eighth grade. We were living in the city that time for school, but we had to go back to the province because of the pandemic. It was a tough time for me because I had to take care of my grandpa and younger sister while doing my schoolwork at home. My parents had to go back to work, and my older sister needed to continue her studies too. But I kept going and stayed strong because I believed in myself and had faith.

I thought the pandemic was the worst, but nothing can compare to the excruciating pain I felt when my lola died. She was the best lola I could ask for; we loved traveling so much that we walked miles just to get where we wanted. Before my lola passed away, I had the chance to take care of her, but it was only for a short period of time. But I must live so that my lola from heaven will be happy for me.

As I dealt with the difficulties of growing up, I learned how important it is to keep going and stay strong. Even when things were tough, I didn't give up on my goals and dreams. Every challenge I faced made me tougher and more determined to handle whatever came my way.

As I approached adulthood, the idea of leaving behind the familiar comforts of home and trying new things both excited and scared me. But I knew that with my family's love and support, I could handle whatever came my way. I was determined to find my place in the world and make a difference, armed with a strong sense of purpose and a desire to learn.

Looking back on my life from when I was a kid until now, I feel thankful for everything that happened to me. The fun times of being a kid and the tough times of growing up all helped me become who I am today. Each part of my life taught me something new and helped me become better.

Even though I'm not sure what the future holds, I know I can handle whatever comes my way. I've learned a lot from my past experiences, and I'm excited to chase after my dreams. With the lessons I've learned and the hopes I have for the future, I feel ready to take on whatever challenges life throws at me.

In the end, what makes us who we are isn't just where we end up, but all the things we go through and learn along the way. As I keep going on this journey called life, I remember the wise words my dear lola shared with me: to treasure every moment, make the most of every chance, and always see the beauty around us.

Life is like a winding road with twists and turns, ups and downs. Along this journey, we encounter all sorts of experiences that shape us and teach us valuable lessons. It's not just about reaching a specific destination, but about the adventure and growth we experience on the way there.

My lola's words have always stayed with me, guiding me through life's challenges and reminding me to appreciate the little things. She taught me to find joy in the simplest of moments, to seize every opportunity that comes my way, and to never take the beauty of the world for granted.

Cherishing each moment means taking the time to appreciate the people we love, the places we visit, and the experiences we have. It's about finding happiness in everyday things and being grateful for all the blessings in our lives.

As I journey through life, I hold onto my lola's words as a guiding light, reminding me to live each day to the fullest and to always keep an open heart and mind. In the end, it's not about the destination, but the journey itself, and the memories, experiences, and lessons we collect along the way.

[the-aesthetician-writes]

September Writing Review

(Also a short update.)

Hey all! I've been gone for a while, I know. I've been trying to keep active in the midst of finding work and life being well... life. So the short and quick version of this is, I'm back-ish!

I have decided to really buckle down and have a try at building up my writing habits. With a couple of months filled with some horrendous experiences I won't detail here, I have realized what I want to do more than anything is writing. I have been attempting the process for the passed couple of weeks and the results have been more than I had expected.

Last month's goal is more or less having a decent amount of work done on all WIPs. And while that can seem overwhelming. I think the way I had set this up this time could hold results. So prior to my recent experiment, I've been writing with the goal of finishing one thing with no deadline (probably not the best method now that I'm thinking about it.) So what I decided to do now is to have a deadline along with tentative goals by the end of the year(NaNoWriMo) and some taking place during the first half of the new year (AroWriMo).

Some of these goals range from solid word counts to more abstract concepts in writing but for transparency (and accountability, really) I'll share them below.

Poco-A-Poco (Webcomic)

Poco-A-Poco is a web comic I set out to make at the beginning of the pandemic. Hoping to create something while in lockdown. It has been abandoned for a couple of years but I have decided to work on it to help build my discipline.

The goal for the last two weeks was to create a total of around 30 "pages" for the web comic. Thinking pages for web comics are often subjective and since I have a passion for graphic design. I felt it would at least work as a warm up when working on it.

The goal after September would be to work on a "page" daily for Poco-A-Poco. Just to build a rhythm and if I manage the time, some day update the comic with what I have worked on.

By the end of 2023, the total should amount to around 122 "pages".

By April 2024, the total should amount to around 243 "pages".

@bybyebitheway

Bi The Way is my ocean punk baby. Also started in 2020 and has had the unfortunate ratio of one chapter released per year it's been alive. With my new motivation with these goals, I decided BTW needed a concrete goal to hit. This was not only to build discipline, but also to build stamina in my writing sprints. I will be trying the Pomodo Method when writing BTW chapters along with the modified Kitchen Timer Method.

The goal of these past few weeks was to write around 4 chapters. I really attempted to give my all these passed few weeks, but haven't managed to work on Bi The Way. However, knowing I had planned beyond these two weeks made me feel better about the initial failure.

This October, I plan on playing catch up on BTW and other WIPs I fell behind on. By the end of this month, I plan on having written 5 chapters along with the four chapters that carry over last month. I feel like the carry over factor will help in building that stamina in terms of writing. After all, the only reason I had set 30 pages in two weeks for Poco-A-Poco was to build in routine. I'll talk more about that later on, but for now my goal with BTW is to have written 4/5 chapters each month. Each chapter having a minimum word count of 1,500 words. BTW will have a hiatus in November for NaNoWriMo.

By the end of the year, I would like to have around 14 chapters.

By the end of April 2024, I would like to have around 30 chapters.

@tobeaspected

To Be Aspectec is another product of the pandemic and also my first dive into AroWriMo. Having failed to achieve what I originally wanted for AroWriMo multiple years in a row, I plan to finish at least one character interaction just in time for next year's AroWriMo.

The goal for the last two weeks was to have two "scenes" written for TBA. With the goal being more subjective and similar to my goal with Poco-A-Poco pages, I opted to have a definition set for what counted as a scene (for my overthinking sanity's sake). A scene would mean any amount of writing needed before the player makes a choice. (Oh I forgot to mention TBA is an interactive fiction piece, didn't I?) Besides the quantity, anything else was up to me.

By the end of the year, I would like to have 6 "scenes" written for TBA.

By the end of February 2024, I would like to finish one "volume" of TBA. A volume would be a total of two characters and all their interactions, including endings.

By the end of April 2024, I would like to have 10 "scenes" written.

@thehuntersacethetic

The Hunter's Ace-Thetic is another interactive fiction project that started during the pandemic. It has been through many different mediums as a way to experiment and learn about different media, but I will focus on ChoiceScript for now.

My goal during the past two weeks was to write out one "episode". Again, with the goal being to build stamina, I added THAT work load into the two weeks as well. More so, the focus these past two weeks was to organize the "episode" structure, with the real priority being on an outline for it.

By the end of the year, I would like to have 4 episodes of THAT.

By the end of April 2024, I would like to have 8 Episodes of THAT.

NaNoWriMo 2023 Project (OMS)

For the month of November, I plan to take on NaNoWriMo and work on one of my abandoned attempts. I hope to write to full 60,000 words by the end of Novemember. If anything, I hope I learn how to be a better writer. The name of the book will be: "Oh My, Starsigns!"

"Oh My Starsigns!" is planned to be a sci-fi/ crime drama(?) taking place in the future where the space police have technology that can take over a suspect's body. Along with the police themselves, suspects also posses different abilities. The story will begin when a prison ship crash lands on a distant planet. Really trying hard to not give anything away just yet.

By the end of 2023, I would like to have Oh My, Starsigns! finished.

By the end of April 2024, I have no further plans for OMS other than maybe self publishing on Amazon or somewhere else if I'm able to find a better alternative.

What I've Written So Far (End of September, 2023):

Poco-A-Poco: 20/30 Pages

Bi The Way: 0/4 Chapters, 0/6k Words

To Be Aspected: 0/2 Scenes

The Hunter's Ace-thetic: 0/1 Episodes

What I Plan to Write (October 2023):

Poco-A-Poco: 40/30 Pages

Bi The Way: 8/4 Chapters, 12k/6k Words

To Be Aspected: 4/2 Scenes

The Hunter's Ace-thetic: 2/1 Episodes

Reflection:

I think these past two months have been a great experiment in knowing what to do different for the next couple of weeks. Hope to update you a month from now with good results.

[duhragonball]

Nanwum VII Update: 90,997

The goal for tonight is to hit 92k, but I've still got four hours left before midnight, so I think I'm safe. At the moment, it looks like I have 9,003 words left to go for the month, which is... over 9000?

Does it work when it's the amount of words left to go? I mean, when you get down to it, I've had over 9000 words to write this entire month so far. Well, I had the image handy, so whatever.

The four day weekend slowed me down a hair, but I took that into account, and I probably did better than in past years, but it got me wondering if that was actually true. Fortunately, I have the stats from previous years on the Nano website, so I thought I might just check that out.

I'm listing five days for each year, because I consider the Wednesday before Thanksgiving a lousy time to get any writing done, since I have to go to work, drive straight to my mom's house an hour away, then have dinner. Also since 2019, there's been a wrestling show every Wednesday to watch, so it might be 9pm before I can even think about writing.

2017

Day 22: 0

Day 23: 0

Day 24: 0

Day 25: 0

Day 26: 0

There's nothing here because I had finished writing on Day 21, and wasn't interested in any kind of overrun. I remember planning it out this way, because I knew I'd have trouble if I fell behind during the holiday weekend.

2018

Day 21: 508

Day 22: 101

Day 23: 1246

Day 24: 828

Day 25: 845

I reached 50k early, but I also thought I should make it a point to add to my word count every single day of the month. But I wasn't too concerned about how much I added, so I just sort of did whatever I felt like doing.

2019

Day 27: 614

Day 28: 2407

Day 29: 1069 (Finished goal)

Day 30: 160

This might have been the worst run for me, since I was still actively chasing the goal right up to the end. And Thanksgiving was on November 28 that month, so that Sunday was December 1, so I was really down to the wire. Writing 2407 on Thanksgiving day sucked, I remember that much.

2020

Day 25: 0

Day 26: 0

Day 27:0

Day 28: 0

Day 29: 2282

This was the one I was thinking about today, because I stayed home for Thanksgiving weekend because of the pandemic, and I expected the silver lining to be that I'd get a lot more writing done that year, since I would have four whole days with nothing else to do. But instead I completely flamed out. I had completed the 50k goal early again, but I went into this one fully intending to rack up a nice overrun, and I just... didn't. I remember being in a funk for several days and just not writing anything, and then I finally got back into the mood for days 29 and 30.

2021

Day 24: 1686

Day 25: 1834

Day 26: 1705

Day 27: 1676

Day 28: 1673

This was the year I resolved to hit par every day, along with other challenges I had set for myself. I reached my goals early, and then I just had to write 1667 or more each day for the rest of the month, which turned out to be the hardest part. It was a struggle, but compared to '18 and '19, it went a lot more smoothly.

2022

Day 23: 0

Day 24: 2080

Day 25: 884

Day 26: 987

Day 27: 1120

This was a similar situation to 2019, where I was still short of the 50k goal, and didn't reach the finish line until Day 29. I'm not sure how I let that happen. I almost want to say it was on purpose, like I was challenging myself in 2019 and 2022 to try to write at a more steady pace, rather than building up an early lead. Well, maybe in '19, but I seem to recall wanting to build an early lead in '22 and just failing to accomplish that.

2023

Day 22: 1742

Day 23: 1721

Day 24: 1684

Day 25: 1961

Day 26: 968 (so far)

And then we have this year, which is shaping up to be a near-replica of the 2021 Thanksgiving Weekend. 2023 has been my best run by far, but the pattern I notice is that even when I'm on a roll, I still find it difficult to keep up that pace. Even when I pull it off, it still feels like a struggle. That Day 22 total was me writing from Midnight to 3am on Wednesday, just so I'd have it out of the way. Day 23 took me like five hours, which... It shouldn't take me five hours to write 1700 words. it just shouldn't.

2020 aside, I believe the difficulty just comes down to fatigue and the change of environment. I write in bed when I'm at my mom's place, and I have to use the laptop keyboard instead of the one I normally plug into it, and I feel a little awkward sequestering myself in my room while I'm visiting. I always tell myself I can do it faster because of how quickly I can knock out 1700 words earlier in the month, but it always ends up taking 2-3 times longer, because I'm tired of writing by then.

Basically, my options are to just rely on my traditional strategy of finishing before Day 21, or planning special sprints for the Thanksgiving weekend. If I had hard outlines for those days in particular, I could probably have an easier time getting the words out. As it is, by the end of the month, I'm either already past the finished line, or anxious about reaching the finished line, or I've already written the stuff I wanted to write, and now I'm just kind of of tooling around.

I almost kind of have to treat Thanksgiving week like a separate writing project, one where I have plots laid out in advance, plots that I don't even touch during the first three weeks.

Like, I sort of knew I'd run into this going in. I toyed with the idea of hitting 50k early, and maybe aiming for 100k, but I knew I probably didn't have 100k of material to write. I thought I could work the 2024 Luffa annual into this period at the end of the month, except I never got around to plotting it, and I'm in no mood to work on that now. So instead I'm just sort of writing loose filler to pass the time. Good for wordcount, bad for publication.

The lesson here seems to be that I need to devote more time to writing plot outlines outside of November. Have a bunch of story ideas plotted out in a reasonable amount of detail, and then save them for when I'm ready. I've already proven to myself that it works, but I need to commit to the strategy. In past years I would do other writing months in January, April, July, and September, but what I really need is a plotting month, where I write up some of this stuff in a coherent way ahead of time. Yeah. That's the next step.

I have to keep this in mind, because it's not just about writing a bunch of words every November. I don't just write these little commentaries on my progress for a distraction. In the grand scheme of things, it's all for the sake of improving my process and making me a better, more organized writer. And while I've come very far, I still have room for improvement.

[lafoiaveugle]

Happy Death Day, Year 14

If you don’t know me, I celebrate a birthday in February the worst month, and a death day in November. Both are equally important days to me, even if I tend to forget which exact day my Death Day is. Anyways, every year I talk about the things I'm happy for, the little bit of advice I can give, and fuck it I'm making it an actual thing.

Are you…Dead? No, I am not dead. Wouldn’t it be ironic if November 23rd/24th ends up being my official death day though? I wouldn’t put it past the universe.

No, see at the age of 20, it really looked like the universe was trying to decide whether or not I should be alive. I ended up in the hospital multiple times due to an incurable autoimmune disease, and then a car accident landed me in ICU for a month. That happened to be the week before Thanksgiving through days before Christmas (if I remember correctly) and I’ve been celebrating it ever since. For those who weren’t there, I’ll spare you the graphic details, but I went from “she won’t likely survive the night” to “she might survive, but she’ll never walk” to “she’ll walk, but never unassisted,” to “okay but you have to wait another month because we are mostly afraid you’ll break your arm again.”

Note: They were right to fear this last one. I literally fell my first tennis match back during WARM UPS. Didn’t break my arm again. Did gain a killer backhand knowing people would target the scar.

People nearly die every day. Why celebrate this? I don’t think I am a pessimist by nature, but I do genuinely appreciate an anniversary to remind me about all the things I am truly thankful for, especially an anniversary without the added side effects of familial trauma, colonizer guilt, and forced cheer. No, instead I reflect on the things that keep me alive now, fourteen years after my death day. And when you add in the growing political unease and two years past the beginning date of a pandemic, I personally need to be reminded to take a minute and be thankful. The date represents a hard year, and a reminder to myself that while I now have a healthy relationship with the concept of me dying, I’m still so glad I’m here. So no, I don’t mentally calculate all the days I nearly died (every day I drive on the highway, let’s be real). But I do take a minute every November to compose my thoughts on life.

How are you celebrating this year? Well, I’ve started my morning with three cats using my bed to play “the floor is lava.” I’ll see my wonderful mom and two of my amazing siblings and grandmother for Thanksgiving lunch, then hanging out with Redd once he gets up from his super late shift last night. I’ll be in contact with those I love through out the day because we all will be navigating family. Maybe for fifteen I’ll throw a party or something. Fifteen extra years with me — you’re welcome (no really I’m so sorry.)

What new items are on your thankful list? First, I am thankful to the scientist out there working on “orphan diseases.” A new medication came out this year that could potentially put me in remission, get me off steroids, and potentially get me off my chemotherapy med. How amazing is that? I’ve spent the majority of the last two years fighting off the depression that comes with hearing a world constantly talk about how you aren’t important because you are sick. Or that you are less important because you are sick. The universe disagrees, bud, but I digress. I’ve been thinking about how thankful I am I didn’t give up on podcasting. Last year, especially this time of year, was incredibly rough and I did not consider podcasting a fun escape anymore. I had made the mistake of who I chose to cohost podcast with, I had men belittle my intelligence and tell me I was dramatic. I knew I was done hosting, being in front of a mic, but I was ready to move behind it permanently, into a writing position if I was lucky. Fortunately, I didn’t do any of that. I started up a podcast idea that was all consuming, I put myself on a time table that ended up requiring me to be in front of the mic again, and I’ve had to come face to face with some real repercussions and consequences of what had happened in 2021. Because of that, I have so many new people I adore working with, I have new friends I can’t imagine how I got this far without them in my life, and a genuinely great team to help push it forward. And it’s in the finals for some awards — look I know I throw myself into something when I cannot cope, and I’m glad this time it’s been a healthy project. One that has changed me for the better. I am also thankful that I’ve gained strength to stand up for myself more. I’m still working to gain back my confidence and self-worth, and I have made great strides forward in setting boundaries of who is allowed in my life and why. I also adopted two cats this year — a very outgoing part dog named Tempo, and a trained rogue who will steal your heart named Astrid. Along with Inanna, they keep our apartment loved, cozy, and chatty actually.

But again, none of this could be accomplished on my own. I have a support system of an amazing mom and step dad who may not always understand me but will support me (through the teasing). I have 3 siblings that just mean the world to me and inspire me to be a better person by watching them grow. I have Keira, who has only shown me kindness, friendship, and love, reminding me again that family is never just blood. I have four amazing best friends that are just as willing to talk me through the anxiety attack as they are to tell me when I am the problem. I never expected “Am I being dramatic or…” to be the way I orient myself in life, but I am so thankful they don’t judge it. I am thankful for the group of doctors and nurses I need to live. Not only that they all help keep me alive (and sane!) but because I’ve somehow found doctors that listen and work with me, rather than talk down to me.

What advice would you give someone post 14 years after nearly dying? I feel like I should put a caveat on my advice: most of this is advice I have to give myself regularly.

Stop trying to find the meaning of life. Just live. Don’t live to work, live for life. If that’s family, if it’s creating, if it’s traveling, cool! Find work/life balance and find it early. I didn’t have it at 20; I really didn’t have it until 33/34. It is life changing. If there is a secret to the universe, a “reason to be here” then I have figured out what my reason is, and what the universe’s reason might be. I don’t love the second, but I can only control the first.

Down time is healthy. Doing “nothing” is healthy. Producing something at all times is not healthy.

You can only control you, and that fucking sucks. Let me be clear — it’s a good thing I can’t control other people or how they react, and it’s even better no one can control me! Does that mean I like it? Absolutely not! Humans are unpredictable and you have to learn to roll with it.

Giving 100% and spoon theory actually overlap, and it took me way too long to realize that.

Notebooks don’t buy happiness. But an e-ink tablet is coming very close.

Teaching your cat to play fetch (or to “bring me the toy so I’ll play with you”) is a great idea in theory, ruins bathroom time quite frequently.

Know your worth. And you are worth it.

[takkton]

Okay. And which of these hot button issues has Biden had any policy differences from than trump again?

No, not what Biden promises, what he actually does.

Women are we feeling protected under Biden? Supported? No? Roe was overturned and women are still making 70% what men in the same positions make? Sexual abuse is still not taken seriously? Any federally mandated maternity leave? Free pregnancy-related healthcare? Ok keep thinking, I’m sure he must’ve done something for women lets move on I guess.

Queer people are we feeling protected under Biden? Any new federal protections for trans people? What? Violence against trans people is still on the rise and gender affirming treatments are being locked behind even more red tape for the sake of Protecting The Children? Supreme Court keeps teasing the idea of overturning same sex marriage and there’s not currently any contingency that would stop red states from rolling out anti-sodomy laws if that were to happen? Don’t worry, I’m sure the senile right-leaning Catholic white man is here to help! Right?

Immigrants and refugees, did you feel protected under Biden when ICE reached a record number of “accidental” deaths among detained immigrants in camps at the border in 2022? Did you feel protected under Biden when Harris had her ever-inspiring “if you’re thinking of seeking asylum in the US, don’t come” speech? Do you feel protected in 2024 now that the government has started deporting undocumented immigrants, revoking visas and gouging prices for those seeking to regain said visas, and get bussed from texas to New York City with zero warning or information prior that was going to happen to them? Where has Biden been through all of this again? Do you think he’s wringing his hands? Taking a nap? Or do you get that this is his goal proceeding as planned yet?

Ah yes. POC, do we feel protected under Biden right now? Well, Harris is a racist cop and Biden was against black folk being allowed to use the same drinking fountain as white folk, so you can imagine a lot of us aren’t thrilled actually! Biden happily supports all police violence against anyone who protests the genocide of brown people and calls support for said brown people an act of terrorism even when it’s fully peaceful protest. We can also talk about how Biden is literally endorsing, funding, and facilitating war crimes against tens of thousands of Arabs. Last time I checked it wasn’t trump who built a temporary port advertised as being used to bring vital aid, to a population he’s starving to death and bombing, and instead using it to smuggle soldiers disguised as aid workers in to kill as many refugees as possible. I’m not saying trump is above that, but you voting for the dude who factually did do that is doing nothing to help poc. Stop pretending it is.

Has Biden given you affordable healthcare?

Has Biden done anything for public schools outside of rushing kids back to in-person classes during a pandemic to restore the status quo?

Has Biden done a single goddamned thing to limit gun violence because I had a mass killing in my town under Biden and I don’t even think he mentioned it since they’re a dime a dozen these days.

Grow up, this isn’t about picking your favorite sports team, Biden is a Republican in Democrat’s clothing and y’all fell for it because y’all are scared enough of trump y’all suddenly don’t care about any of these issues as long as it’s a different old white man doing it.

“How will your one issue improve under trump” is such a smug dumbass head in the sand question.

If it won’t improve under Biden either and that “one issue” is as significant as a full fledged GENOCIDE why the fuck are you voting for him are you really this goddamned stupid to think he cares about any of us just because he wears the blue tie instead of the red? HE IS KILLING CHILDREN AND LYING ABOUT HAMAS KILLING BABIES TO JUSTIFY IT. DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS LEOPARD WONT EAT YOUR FACE TOO?

Genuinely so many of you dumbasses would vote for Hitler if he went against trump and ran as a democrat. That is how politically stunted you people are. You’re incapable of opening your eyes for five seconds to see everything you’re terrified of under trump is still happening under Biden. Nothing changed. He did a fun speed run after being elected to fulfill a few promises and then proceeded to just move on to lying about progressive policies so no one sees what he’s doing under the table.

Who is helped in this scenario?

More to the point: how will your one issue improve under Trump?

[suuho]

i’m going to write this here, because i have nowhere else to put it and it is mostly for me. no one has to read this, but i just need somewhere to put all my feelings.

it’s been a month since you’re gone, gavin. one unfathomably long yet fleeting month, one so long that i cannot begin to imagine how i am supposed to live a myriad of them, years even, without you. every day, i think about you. every day, there is something that reminds me of you and let it just be the sun in the sky. i keep replaying our moments (not enough, not enough at all; the universe should’ve been much kinder in that regard. honestly, fuck all of that) in my mind; i keep replaying every hug you ever gave me, so tight it squeezed the life back into me—or, as the saying goes, put me back together.

i drew gavin after i met him in person and gave him that drawing, and he told me eventually that he put it up in his dressing room in london because he rarely got any art during his waitress run. it wasn’t much of a drawing, more of a sketch really, and i felt rusty after months of not having done it. but i remember to this day that i was surprised by how well i captured his likeness (for my standards anyway), and i was just glad that he appreciated it. art, music, joy, love—the things he gave to the world were the things he loved the most.

in all the years i kept catching myself thinking, my, how lucky we are that he never chose television or movies, knowing fully well he had a disney show lined up that fell through at the start of the pandemic. it maybe was a selfish thing to think, after all what i only ever wanted for him was success and happiness, and for the world to see him the way i did, as the most spectacular performer that has ever graced the stage. but what i loved about him so much is how he selflessly gave himself so purely and utterly to musical theater, fully aware of the limitations and shortcomings of the industry, and yet he embraced it. something that others think of as embarrassing and cringey—he revered it. and he knew that i did so, too, something we bonded over.

i will be in the middle of doing something, anything, and i will stop and think of him. and i have never known grief to be so difficult to deal with, something that would tear me apart like this, over and over. i’m coming to understand that there won’t ever be any getting over this loss, and i’m trying to sit with that and let myself experience and feel it, because i know it is just the overwhelming love i have for him, and the pure affection we had for each other.

in all honesty, the world doesn’t make sense to me right now. it just seems illogical that gavin is gone; i want to be on another planet, in another timeline, anywhere else. i just can’t stand the thought that he’s not here anymore. i don’t think anyone can; how glad all of us were to be touched by his bright light, even just in such short moments. everyone has only ever known his love and kindness; i am so glad that he was just as wonderful as i thought him to be, as he was to me when i met him. no one has ever respected me as much as gavin, and no one ever made me feel as welcomed and safe as he did. and he did that for everyone.

what a gift to the world.

one month is so long, and simultaneously not long at all. just a blink of an eye. to think that his health deteriorated so fast makes me sick to my stomach. it is all just so unfair. i hope his friends and family take all the time they need; that they will find a moment most befitting to them to dim the lights and that they can honor his memory. that there is enough space for them to mourn even though i am sure that the empty space he left behind will never be filled. it is too huge, too singular, too him. no one could ever replace him.

i’ve been ill for so many years, that it always feels like the other shoe is just about to drop. maybe, someday it will. and when it happens, i just hope i will leave the world behind a little kinder, just like you. it’s the one thing any of us should aspire to—to love so openly and wholly, that your memory is full of kindness and sweetness, and pure, unbridled joy. you lived and loved wide open.

i will love you wide open. i will love you forever. i know i was such a lucky fool to get even just a few, rich moments with you, to strike up this cosmic connection. i never took it for granted, and i never will.

i’ll keep finding you everywhere around me.

i love you, angel man. i’ll see you on stage soon, or somewhere else. just like we promised. until then, keep the lights on over there.

[airborneham]

Welcome to the Game Lab

Let's Talk About Games

Hey folks.

Welcome to the Game Lab.

Despite being a spry young Millennial (or crusty old Zoomer depending who you ask), I’ve never been too good at posting on social media or keeping up with news feeds. Having run LARPs for nearly a decade, I’ve done a lot of good and successful work in analog games, but don’t much to show for it but friends, memories, and boxes of props. Those are all great, but it turns out cheap leftover costuming isn’t very marketable.

With my first physical game printed and released in 2023, I’m finally changing that, and this post is the start of me putting something regularly out into the world that has permanence, that others can gain some insights or enjoyment from, and that allows me to gather my own thoughts and form new ideas in a way that engages with the games community online.

I’ve been meaning to start writing longer form posts to talk about game mechanics and theory I find interesting, share games or creators I discover, and keep a design log of the many games I’m always working on. Substack seems like a good place for me to do that in a format that’s more my speed, and as I’ve been writing the first few posts and putting my thoughts into words my mind has been swirling with exciting new topics and ideas to explore.

I’m thrilled to see where this takes me and I am happy to have you along for the ride.

Who am I? Why should you care?

That’s a really good question I’ve been convincing myself to answer for some time now, and I’ve finally got it figured out.

That’s Abe chewing on my antler.

I’m Eric Faber, a game designer on the shores of Lake Superior. I’ve designed analog games for over a decade, primarily Live Action Role Playing Games, but dabbling in TTRPGs and board games as well. In 2016 I met one of my best friends who was running a LARP at the local college, and I fell into helping run it when he graduated and we moved it off campus.

Learning on LARPs.

We ran that game and grew the community around it for almost 3 years, designing a new game with unique mechanics, story, and characters from the ground up every month. 

Some group photos from the Haunted Mansion LARP. Don't tell Disney about the name.

We were essentially live-playtesting a game for 20-30 players each month, which taught me a lot about iterative design. We molded the framework that was originally cobbled together by college kids from an online forum game into a solid and consistent ruleset. In doing so, we built a deep toolbox of mechanics that we could add or remove in order to craft the experience we wanted for any particular game.

From mummy curses that players had to discover how they were acquired and what they did, to cyberpunk gadgets with unique mechanics that could be freely exchanged to give players agency over what role they filled on a team, Haunted Mansion explored a wide spectrum of settings and experiences that kept the game from getting stale for returning players and forced us to continually push the boundaries of what we thought it could be.

Unfortunately, LARPs don’t leave behind any way for the people outside of that building on that night to see what we made. Each event is a singular experience that players and event runners get to share, which is both the beauty of the medium as well as one of its many obstacles.

Into the game industry and right back out.

Due to the fleeting nature of LARPs, I was designing board games and TTRPGs as well in hopes of one day publishing something and getting my work out into the world. In 2020 I had decided to get serious and try to pursue publishing a board game.

I planned trips to conventions, started researching the process of pitching to publishers, and then… well, we all stopped doing all that stuff for a while. A lot of my game design stuff went on hold during the pandemic. Our LARP stopped and without momentum the community dispersed. Life got hard for everybody.

But I’m back, for real this time.

When things reopened and we got back to in-person events, I got back to LARPing. A friend of mine runs the Wisconsin branch of the post-apocalyptic LARP Dystopia Rising and hoodwinked me into writing for and helping to run it. If you are in the US, chances are there’s a branch near you and I recommend checking it out if you like horror, boffer combat, zombies, or just a weekend away from real-life problems. If you’re in the Midwest, the WI game would love to have you. We have heated cabins.

Some pictures from Dystopia Rising, or DR as we call it. Kill zombies. Build a community. Be weird.

I also designed, wrote, and used Kickstarter to publish my first game, The Last Hand. It’s a play-to-lose horror storytelling game that uses a deck of playing cards with rules emulating Texas Hold ‘Em to create tales of survivors being pursued by an unknown horror which you learn about as you play. Inspired by games like Dread, Ten Candles, and Fiasco!, the structure of the game guides you towards an inescapable building of tension and cathartic release as you move from scene to scene on the run, facilitating a warranted distrust and obligatory cooperation that is a staple of the horror genre.

It’s quite good.

Look. It's a real game that exists.

The Game Lab

I believe games are an art form that can be engaged with in the same way that our culture discusses films and literature. I love thinking about and talking about games, game design, and game mechanics, as I truly believe it helps us as players understand and find the fun in games and me as a designer find new ways to innovate in the medium.

In this newsletter, I’m going to explore the types of mechanics I think are interesting and why, games I play or that I am excited about, and parts of the craft of game design and decisions I make in prototypes I’m working on. 

This is partly a design theory blog, partly a devlog, and partly a way for me to take the knowledge I have from years of designing games and put it out into the world in a way that helps both my creative process and hopefully yours as well.

Subscribe Now on Substack

So yeah, that’s the idea. Stick around and let’s talk about games.

[mediumtires]

oh man i've had more thoughts about this and they warrant written text i fear. but like. first of all. eye contact. the way they're looking at each other is fucking intimate. the way toto keeps looking at christian when he talks? the way they're smiling at each other behind their masks as they're talking? look at this point i'm just gonna assume the worst of the pandemic was kind of over (i have no idea when this interview was and i'm too lazy to look it up. assuming this was start of 21 or something. you know what i mean when i say the worst of it was over yes i'm not here for semantics lads i'm here for the gay lore). so assuming this was feb 21 or whatever. at this point these two had an entire year at home together, literally with nowhere else to go and because they werent out at that point no one really knew about them aside from close family and friends. which in a situation like a pandemic isolates you even more no because no one knows about your partner and you automatically protect your little secret and you're used to isolating and hiding away. so it was really just the two of them in their own little bubble cut off from the rest of the world when they were home and i KNOW i keep repeating myself but man. just them and their weird accumulation of animals, no racing, no drivers, no colleagues, no travelling. sure they'd be working from home but let's forget about that for a sec, like they can be in their separate offices or whatever idc because at the end of the day when they hop off their zoom calls it will still be just them at home, no commutes to or from work; they could literally have breakfast with each other until 8:59 before they both have their first meeting of the day at 9 or whatever do you SEE THE VISION. and in the evenings they'd be done around 5 (prolly not realistic lmao but just walk with me ok) and then it's just them for the rest of the day! and also entire weekends with no work whatsoever! little lunches in between calls! bringing each other coffee and a snack and a dog to deal with throughout the day (iykyk)! they've never spent so much time together guys do you get it!!!!! it's kind of like they're working together 🥲

got distracted there for a sec. what i actually wanted to say is i know the last time i had a meltdown over this i emphasised how annoyed i think they would get with each other. and that still rings true cause they're together 24/7 now no? like they would fully be at each other's throats teehee. however. i think the intimacy and their bond grew sooooo much more, like it outweighed the annoyance by miles. maybe they had time to fall in love with each other all over again! going on walks! trying out new recipes baking cakes getting daydrunk! going on bike rides! playing cards facetiming each other's families renovating the barns setting up a home gym in the basement! [redacted]! lots of redacted probably. like they would've had so much time to just BE and that's what gets me every timeeeeee because they gave up so much for the sport and their teams and their jobs and they did it willingly and they never really complained about their circumstances but maybe they were getting a little tired and worn down by all of it and suddenly this happens and they get this chance to just reconnect in the most gentle way! like excuse me for losing my head over this.

also. you know how toto said the last time his mental health deteriorated was during the pandemic when he was suddenly forced to slow down. i think them dealing with this together would've made their bond a lot stronger too. and i think christian was probably the only person in the world who could've related to it because they're doing the same job, they have the same pressures and responsibilities and similar schedules and suddenly all of that fell away. and maybe this was the first time christian got to see it happening up close and intimately and maybe it made him understand toto a little bit more, another puzzle piece he learns about him, and maybe he would realise some things about himself too. and maybe they would navigate all of that together, just keeping busy and enjoying their time with each other and not letting the house collapse on them. and i think a huge misconception about depression is that you won't get depressed if you're loved and if you have support and a loving family. like the circumstances of their relationship would not have stopped this from happening. but all of it makes it better and bearable and in turn maybe it makes toto fall the fuck in love with his husband all over again because he knows himself and he knows his mind and he knows it will always get better again and he doesn't ever have any expectations for anyone but himself to fix him. and suddenly christian Sees him, like that, and he doesn't run away but comes closer and they don't fall apart but instead christian balances them in a way toto has never experienced before. just. willing to fill in for toto until he feels a little better about the world and his place in it. willing to give more of himself until toto feels like himself again. and like. yeah. jesus man.

(bonus: christian saying "giving him a harder time this year" while looking straight at toto with a smirk, toto literally having to break eye contact BLUSHING....... yeah man alright.)

nuggets? I don't know, but different moments in which Toto pined for Christian in an interview

They flirted with their eyes

@silvereds

[stbot]

heya I hope you’re doing well!! :-) had the urge to watch some yt videos about poetry and poet interviews and I remember u recommending a video of spoken poetry or something a while ago but I can’t remember the title. do u still kno what it was? i have the sudden urge to watch it

Oops, sorry this is getting answered late, but hopefully you're still in the mood! The video I recommended was this one, which is kind of about CRJ but still very good!

If you're maybe interested in finding more spoken word, might I humbly suggest Button Poetry, or SlamFind, or the Brave New Voices youth poetry slam. They're pretty good places to start, and there are a lot of older pieces that still really hit.

[alliewritesthings]

Hi ca I request where Chris is a dad of 4 years old boy where he was having an online class at home and the son is not paying attention and keep running around. basically where he don’t understand why he can’t meet his friends at school and chris have to scold him for him to sit down and pay attention. And he felt bad after that.

I felt this on a spiritual level. I was my sisters support bubble during the uk lockdowns and my six year old nephew was an absolute nightmare with homeschooling, and they really don’t understand what’s going on; its truly heartbreaking to see these kids suffer.

word count: 1.2k

masterlist + requests are open

“Day, you really need to focus.” Chris spoke to the young boy with a sigh. “I know this isn’t ideal, but please.”

“Okay, daddy.” The small boy spoke, offering a toothy grin to his father before his gaze fell back to the computer in front of him. They were doing basic math today and Dayton was clearly not interested. Since the pandemic struck, all the schools had shut and children were forced to take online classes. Chris had been forced out of work, with all production halting for the foreseeable future. But you had continued to work, offering support in your community wherever you possibly could. And although you didn’t work everyday, today just happened to be one of those days; leaving Chris to ensure that your son attended all his classes and participated.

It didn’t take Chris long to put aside the laptop he was currently working on, where he was working on an ASP project.

“Dayton!” Chris scolded. He was never one to get mad at his son, but the boy had been uncooperative all morning. But now he was up and running around the dining room table, which had been converted into a work space for the small boy. Chris knew he had too much pent up energy, but he also knew the smaller version of himself needed to get an education; no matter the disruption going on worldwide. “Sit down, and behave.” The father sighed, stepping out of his makeshift office in the living room to ensure the small boy was doing what he needed to.

“But daddy, I miss my friends.” The boy whined, pouting at his father. He’d learnt from you that a pout and some puppy eyes always gets him very far with his father.

“I know, son. But you need to listen to your teacher, okay?” The dad tried to relate to his son, although he didn’t really have any situations he could relate to this. Chris’ pleas went unnoticed and the small boy continued to run laps around the large table.

“Dayton! That’s enough.” Chris shouted. Dayton instantly stopped and scurried back to his seat. Chris never raised his voice or got angry, so Dayton instantly knew he was in trouble. “Now sit down, and do your class work.” Chris sighed, taking a deep breath. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was grateful all the children had to have their microphones muted during the class unless spoken to, thankful that no one heard his outburst at the child.

For the rest of the day Chris was able to get on with his work with few distractions, occasionally stopping when Dayton’s classes were on a break and to make lunch for the small boy. But the boy didn’t say much to his father for the rest of the day, barely making eye contact or cracking jokes which he always did.

Chris knew something wasn’t right when you’d walked through the door that afternoon from work and Dayton didn’t leave his playroom to greet you like he always did.

“Chris? Day?” You called out, your brows furrowed as your only welcome party was Dodger. “Hey, boy.” You cooed to the pup, giving him a fuss before walking further into your house.

“Hey, where’s Dayton?” You questioned as you stepped up behind the couch where Chris was working. You leant over the back of the couch and gave Chris a kiss to the cheek.

“Hey, baby. How was work?” He asked, you simply nodded in reply. “He should be in his playroom. Did he not come see you?” He offered you a look of confusion, there was never a day that went past where Dayton didn’t greet you at the door. You always looked forward to it.

“Day?” You called out, heading towards the other side of the house where the playroom was situated. “Dayton, baby?” You called out again, unsure if the boy just didn’t realise you were home yet.

“Hey, what’s gotten into you?” You questioned, stepping into the room where Dayton was sat playing with his dinosaurs and completely ignoring your presence. You moved to sit on the floor beside him, reaching over to gently press some of his mop of hair away from his face; the overgrown lockdown hair had really taken place.

He continued to ignore you, before you noticed the bottom lip begin to quiver and the young boy threw himself into your arms as a sob left his lips. “Daddy hates me!” He cried, burying his face in your chest as he sobbed.

“Hey, no. That’s not true. Daddy loves you, so much.” You reminded the boy, rubbing his back gently to soothe him. “What’s happened?” You pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head.

“Daddy shouted at me and told me off.” He whimpered, looking up at you with glassy eyes.

“Why did daddy tell you off?” You gently thumbed away his tears.

“I wasn’t doing my class.” He sniffled, fisting his eyes. “I miss my friends.” He cried. “I want to go back to school.”

“I know you do, baby. You’ll be back there soon, unfortunately lots of people are getting sick that we have to stay at home to protect ourselves and everyone else. Okay?” You offered him a warm comforting smile. “But you do need to listen to daddy, and do your classes.” You pressed a kiss to the boys forehead. “Carry on playing, and I’ll call you when dinners ready.”

Dayton shuffled out your lap and headed back to play with his herd of dinosaurs that were lined up across the floor. You pushed yourself to your feet and headed for the kitchen to make a start on dinner for your family.

“Get all your work done?” You questioned, smiling over at your husband as he entered the kitchen and helped you prep dinner.

“Is Dayton okay?” He questioned, you noticed his nervous ticks; he was chewing on his lip and wouldn’t make eye contact with you.

“Yeah. He’s just having a moment, Chris, he misses his friends and school.” You glanced at the man. “You did nothing wrong, you know?”

Chris nodded beside you, a sigh falling from his lips.

“Please don’t beat yourself up. Dayton told me that you told him off-“ you started, but Chris interrupted you.

“I know, I came up to check and I heard him say he thinks I hate him.” He rambled. “I wanted to make sure he was okay.” He sighed. “And now he thinks I hate him.”

“Hey, now.” You scolded your husband, turning to make him stop what he was doing. You cupped his cheeks to ensure he looked at you. “You did nothing wrong. He was meant to be learning, and you was just on dad duties and ensuring he was.” A soft laugh left your lips. “Cheer up please.”

“I just feel bad. I upset him.” He sighed, you giggled in reply.

“It’s fine. It was just one of those days.” You confirmed, pressing a gentle kiss to your husbands lips. “He’ll forget all about this tomorrow.”

[pettyrevenge-base]

Lie about having COVID to take six weeks off while I do your work for free? I’ll throw an all-office party to announce where you really were.

Mid-pandemic my boss disappeared.

Just as we were gearing up for our most challenging, time intensive, project in the last five years, he dropped off the face of the earth.

We kept working for a week or so without him because everything was virtual and the virtual work world was still so new, we didn’t really need him. We were delegating tasks ourselves and completing things on our own. We spoke to coworkers maybe twice a week.

But some decisions were beyond our discretion, so we could not move forward on those aspects of the project until we received a response from him.

After about 7-10 total days of silence, we called his boss’s boss, who informed our team that our boss had COVID so wasn’t able to work right now.

We took that at face value of course sent him letters of well-wishes and didn’t bother him with work stuff, or ask why he was able to notify his boss but not us.

Three weeks go by. Still not a word. We’re beginning to discuss amongst ourselves whether or not he’s maybe died. We’re terrified and horrified and so concerned. We’re contemplating calling his extended family. We’re sending flowers and care packages to his apartment.

Meanwhile, the project has descended into chaos because no leader was appointed in our boss’s stead, so we are forced to navigate several layers of bureaucracy in order to accomplish most anything at all (whereas in the past he would’ve just signed off in real time.)

Around week four or five one of our coworkers suggests he doesn’t really have COVID but is instead using it as an excuse to take time off. We all jump all over our coworker, asking how he could insinuate something like that, and lamenting about what a tragedy our boss is probably living through. People were chilly to him for days after that.

Week seven. We’re undertaking a letter writing campaign to upper management demanding an acting boss be appointed while ours is recovering. The project is a month behind schedule. We’re all working overtime every day, sometimes on weekends, without extra compensation, just to keep up with the cluster fuck of the boss’s sudden absence.

Week eight. He finally reappears, logging into a morning meeting as though nothing happened. He looks well rested, well fed, and has a tan. Not at all like someone who’s just come out the other side of a six week respiratory virus.

He says something quickly to the effect of “Yah, that was brutal. Glad to be better and glad to be back. Let’s get to work.” But doesn’t want to talk about what happened or answer any of our questions like, “Were you in the hospital?” “What was it like?” Etc.

Fast forward to about four or five months after this. My sister sends me a promo for a fairly new reality show (I’d never heard of it but it’s on a major platform) and says “Isn’t this guy a friend of yours or something? I swear I’ve seen him and you together.”

I watch the trailer for this show, and lo and behold, there’s my boss. Participating as a contestant on a reality TV show.

It did not take long for me to put the pieces together and realize he took extended leave to go on TV (that he knew he wouldn’t otherwise get during this massive project) and lied about it under the guise of a vicious disease that nearly all of us had lost a loved one to.

I sit and stew with this information, unsure of how to handle it. I know confronting him won’t get me very far, but I can’t just do nothing, right? I’m not close enough with any of my colleagues to discuss this with them and trust that they wouldn’t run off and send an all-company email about it.

So I slept on it a few nights and then the opportunity fell right in my lap.

I got an email from corporate encouraging teams still working remotely to plan “virtual social functions” to keep a collegial culture going and to stay in touch.

Among the suggestions were: game night, trivia, and… watch party.

With the premier of the show only a couple weeks away I got busy telling everyone how I’d been meaning to get into this show, and it’s so enticing and exciting, basically laying the groundwork to guilt them into coming to an impromptu virtual watch party off-hours.

I offered to get special shirts made up and send them to each person’s house. Whatever I had to do to get the attention of corporate.

Finally, I sent an e-vite to all my boss’s bosses, and any other members of corporate I could justify inviting without making a total ass of myself.

Because this is entirely virtual, my boss is unable to overhear any of the chatter. He doesn’t realize I’m hyping up this show and he doesn’t realize I’ve planned a watch party for it. I wasn’t inviting him unless he had the balls to explicitly ask about it.

I was hoping he wouldn’t have heard about it at all! Not until afterwards. That was really the only way this could work.

The night comes and I am screensharing the show to a whopping 64 people. A huge chunk of my department. Many members of corporate had showed up because I was the only person stupid enough to buy into their virtual social work party scheme, so they felt pressured to support it.

I was holding my breath, hoping this would go my way, bracing myself for some kind of curveball. But there wasn’t even that dramatic of a buildup. Right at the outset they introduced the premise (which included the contestants being in a covid-safe bubble in an exotic location!!) and gave a brief overview of each contestant.

As my boss was introduced, right down to what he did for work, and I could see people register delight and surprise… then go blank… just before sliding into confusion and rage.

The chat took a drastic turn from “Oh my goodness!” And “I knew him when!” And all sorts of pithy jokes to a brave member of my team (or perhaps one just pushed a tad too far by all the extra hours he pulled in this douche’s absence) sent the message, ”Wait, when was this filmed?”

My audience dropped from 64 to 58 to mid-30s, and by the time the episode was over it was just me and the other 15 core members of the team.

One asked if I’d already known, but some members of the team are very close to the boss, so all I said was “Well I definitely do now.” And wrapped up the call pretty quickly after that.

Perhaps one of the best bonuses is that you could already tell from episode one that the character arc the show assigned to our boss was “bumbling idiot”. He had his true colors on in full display and some production-massaging upped them to the 11th degree.

Boss was fired. My good buddy was promoted to his place. I am an office legend now (especially since no one is 100% sure whether or not it was intentional.) And it was all so satisfying that it was almost worth the dozens of hours of uncompensated overtime that led to it.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[skzkkun]

i'm here for you, always.

pairing: han jisung x reader (platonic)

warnings: angst / fluff. (y/n) suffers with anxiety; mentions of post-lockdown depression / anxiety - read with caution if you struggle with these issues. (1.1k)

synopsis: after an intense panic attack, Han arrives just in time to comfort you. this was purely self-indulgent. (ㅠㅅㅠ;)

You just couldn't do it anymore. After being isolated from people you loved due to the pandemic, meaning birthdays and holidays spent alone in your dorm, you never thought that returning to your regular schedule would be the difficult part. Classes had hardly started but you were already overwhelmed- just reading through your assignments and required reading for the coming year was giving you a migraine. It was like you had whiplash, your life was forced to pause throughout an incredibly hard two years and now suddenly everything was just… resuming. Worse still, it even felt like some of your friends came out of the pandemic as better people- that was the most painful part.

Some of your classmates had mastered hobbies, others found new relationships, and more than a few of your close friends had incredible glow ups during their time in the pandemic. But you? You had maybe picked up a skill or two, but you felt as though you were the only one who truly struggled, as if you were the only one carrying the trauma of the pandemic. So, to say you felt unprepared to get back into your studies after such a long break was an understatement: you were terrified.

You didn’t even notice how your breath shortened to staggered gasps, or how your tears fell onto your laptop as you were lost in thought; you practically collapsed onto your desk. It was like you were drowning; as much as you wanted to swim to the surface, or do anything to catch your rushed breath, your body was too exhausted. Instead, you completely broke down: your weak legs brought you off your desk chair and onto your bedroom floor. You didn’t have it in you to stifle your sobs anymore, your tears continued to flow down your flushed cheeks.

“Hey! Hey, (y/n)?” Han shouted, closing your front door behind him, “Sorry I’m late, I just came from the studio... where are you?” It felt like you were stuck to the ground as you bawled, too lost in your own intrusive thoughts to process that your friend had entered your apartment. It had basically become tradition since you were both children to meet up at your place every Friday at 6pm for video games, gossip and pizza. Even throughout the pandemic, you found ways to keep up the tradition, opting to facetime instead; although neither of you would admit it, the weekly event was a saving grace for you both.

After spending a couple minutes searching for you within your small apartment, he heard your shortened breath and sobs coming from your room and rushed over. He opened the door and eyes frantically scanned the scene, first to the textbooks and laptop that scattered your desk; then, to see your fragile state on the ground.

He rushed to sit next to you on the floor. “Shhh... shh… No, no it's okay. I'm right here,” He hushed, trying his best to comfort you as your tears persevered. His concern engulfed him completely; almost brought to tears by how hurt you looked. You had always been there for each other, but Han knew that you went above and beyond to look after him when he was at his worst.

“I- I’m-,” You hiccuped, desperately straining yourself to apologise, “I- I’m, I’m so s-sorry, I- I forgot y-you were,” You sobbed, too overwhelmed with emotion, “I- I f-forgot you w-were coming o-over, I-”

“No, no, It’s okay!” Han reassured, “Really, It’s fine. You’re okay, I- (Y/n), You're shaking! Would you be okay if I touched you…” He tentatively reached out to your shaky hand; you welcomed the gesture, desperately in need of such affection. “Just let me take care of you…” For the first time, you both made eye contact and he smiled. “C’mon sunshine, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.”

As if you were weightless, he carefully picked you up and moved you onto the bed next to you both. After ensuring you were comfortable among your plushies and pillows, he took off his shoes and joined you under the covers. “Do you want to talk about it...?” You shook your head, eyes focused on your teddy between your arms “No? That's okay! I'll just hold you tight.” He shuffled in bed and slowly brought you onto his chest, as his arms wrapped around you. Han slowly rocked you both side-to-side as you gripped onto his hoodie, breath slowly returning to a regular pace.

“Shhhhh... you're okay. I've got you, sunshine. You’re doing so well, oh my gosh, we didn’t even need to do breathing exercises. You’re so incredible.” He whispered, as his chin rested on top of your head. “... does this feel nice?” You nodded, focusing on grounding yourself with the feeling of your soft bed beneath you; his calm voice lulling you back to reality. “Just keep breathing in and out. That's it... you're safe with me…”

“I really am sorry, Han. I feel like I’ve ruined pizza night.” You admitted with a regained ability to speak, as you looked up at your friend.

“Stop apologizing, (Y/n)! It's no bother- I love comforting you! There's really nothing more I want to do right now than look after you.”

“I know, I just… I feel like I’m burdening you and-”

“You're not a burden…” He shook his head, furrowing his brows as he continued, “I love you, sunshine, and I care for you so much- you have so many people who love you. When you're feeling sad, or anxious... I want to do everything I can to help you. Anxiety sucks... but you're not alone. I'm here for you,”

You nodded your head, suddenly exhausted from the intensity of the panic attack or from the comforting feeling of being safe in bed. “It's okay to need other people for comfort... it's okay to be vulnerable.” Han whispered, still rocking you as he brought your blanket further up your body. “Just let your worries wash away... I've got you.”

“Can we-,” You closed your eyes, steadily succumbing to sleep, “Can we still have pizza night after I wake up?”

Han laughed quietly, bringing a hand up to stroke through your hair, “Yes, of course! We can get up and you can have a nice hot shower, so you can feel refreshed. I'll order your usual from our go-to pizza place...” His own eyes began to close, feeling relaxed by the feeling of being in bed after his own long day, “...but not yet. Let's just snuggle for a little while more. We can get up once you're ready; I'll keep holding you tight. I'm not going anywhere... I'm here for you, always.”

© 2021 copyright. all rights reserved skzkkun

[ericspinkhair]

quarantine longings

pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny

warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint

a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.

requests are open!

masterlist + requests

you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.

'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.

'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.

there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.

why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.

after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.

and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.

earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.

to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.

you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.

he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.

your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.

occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.

having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.

that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.

what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.

he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.

whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.

last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.

he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.

he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.

'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.

he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.

'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.

***

'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.

'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.

you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'

within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.

he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.

kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.

'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.

'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.

'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.

'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.

watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.

'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.

'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.

'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'

'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.

you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.

there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.

and then the infamous boat scene came.

massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.

you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.

'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.

'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.

his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.

his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.

your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.

'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?

'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.

'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.

'just do it.'

you took his hand and led it to your crotch.

'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'

'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'

you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.

'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.

you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.

he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.

'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.

'you bet I will.' he was confident.

'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.

'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'

the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.

he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.

your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.

he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.

he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.

desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.

'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.

'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.

'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.

'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.

'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'

kevin hummed in agreement.

***

so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.

today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.

he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.

'sorry.'

after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.

'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.

'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.

'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'

he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.

'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'

suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.

'I like you.'

you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.

'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.

'do you want me to?' you asked him.

'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.

'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.

'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.

'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.

'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.

'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'

so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.