#so i put them on there for my own comfort ! i'm not forcing or assuming them to be a ship unless agreed by both parties ! ]
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Follow Up to the Follow Ups
Some feedback to the responses I received:
1) A lot of people said that fear and discomfort is what makes antiracism not worth standing alone for. Okay, so then I want you to say this phrase to yourself when it comes to that moment:
"I would rather be antiblack than be afraid in this situation"
Does it make you uncomfortable? More uncomfortable than speaking up? I want you to dwell on that! And no, I'm not saying this to hurt you; sometimes it is the better option to stay quiet. I recognize that you have to recognize your own weight class. (Not so much on Tumblr as it is in real life, granted 🙄) But this is often the outcome when we choose not to act. We just don't admit that to ourselves so directly.
Try to notice how often you make that choice, how often you even have to make it. If you find yourself saying this more often than not, do you still feel you identify as an ally when it comes to speaking up about antiblackness? I'm not saying you have to fight every single battle. I'm just asking you to take the time to notice how often you find yourself tolerating more than you don't. And if that's something that you genuinely feel isn't right, or that you want to change, do so! You have the option to strengthen your allyship!
2) I feel like my question about Black fans got walked around a bit. Tbh, that is already the reality Black people live in. The way you aren't comfortable speaking up, I don't feel safe assuming you're safe to be around. It's a far more perilous outcome for me, putting faith in the anti-racism of a person that I don't witness them express.
3) Fear, itself
How do you think I feel? 🤣 You're afraid to speak out on antiblackness because you're worried about the anger of, or- if we're being honest- the social consequences of speaking out? I have an entire page dedicated to addressing antiblackness in media while Black!
At any point, not for my own betterment but the potential- not even a guarantee, just the potential- of yours, I openly put myself at risk of racist ire to try make the space around me better. I've been called plenty of slurs and insults on my main discussing these things. It's not an easy choice to risk that vulnerability. Trust, I understand that!
It's honestly gone far better than expected, though part of that is because I have to police my own tone. I don't expect other Black people to do so, or to have to do so. I can only imagine an environment where people felt less inclined to treat me and my peers that way, that they felt the fear of social repercussions for their racism when they spoke instead of me.
My point here is, I'm not naturally built to be stronger than you when it comes to dealing with racism. The way you are afraid of your peers treating you, is the way they already treat me and my peers. I'm forced into resilience, I've spent a long time learning how to deal with this. If I can stomach living with this, you can occasionally take the risk and speak up. Again, I'm not asking you to fight every battle. But you're capable of more battles than you think.
That's it! That's the end of the introspection practice this week. Thank y'all for participating; I hope that you got some perspectives to take on with you.
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[ updated my mains & ship exclusive list ! removed some inactive ones and added yinyue to the list ( also moved eden up to the top bc let's face it, it's long overdue. ) some i had removed due to lack of interactions ( but they can totally be added back if the muns are still interested ! ) if i missed any muses or if any of you are interested in being on there pls holla at me ! likewise that if you're on there and preferred not to be on, feel free to let me know as well ! ]
#.ooc#[ i probably should make a proper page for it but#classic page is easy to update#might try looking into some pre-made pages later lkjhhkk#if i feel like it that is. I'M JUST TOO LAZY#again reminder that some listed as ship exclusive might not be a ship yet#but my muses harbor a sort of attachment / feelings towards that particular portrayal that they wouldn't do so with other variants#so i put them on there for my own comfort ! i'm not forcing or assuming them to be a ship unless agreed by both parties ! ]
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Contemplating the concept of "potential" when it comes to intelligence and realizing how heartbreaking Logan's "Dreams come true, that's news to me" line in the Crofters Musical.
#screaming into the void#definitely not okay today lads#i'm finding myself grieving my intelligence and contemplating if it was ever there to begin with#when i was younger i excelled in science so everyone assumed that i was a gifted kid despite my very obvious struggles in math and spelling#i was told over and over if i could just apply myself to other subjects the way i did with science#then i would do better in those subjects and reach my full potential#my identity was hung on my intelligence for me by the adults in my life none of them even considering a learning disability#now as an adult it all feels meaningless#especially having been forced into going to college where it was made very quickly and abundantly clear that I wasn't actually gifted#i was just average#that was absolutely devastating to me and it's a thing i struggle with and i want to be angry about it but i dont know how to be#i was told over and over in childhood that i could be anything when i grew up that i could do anything if i just put my mind to it#then recieved little to no actual educational support for any of it especially when i discovered writing#and i dont know if i was never as smart as i was told i was or never even had the potential i was told i had#or if i just didnt have enough support#i dont believe in myself anymore and i dont think i was ever actually believed in by the adults in my life either#i think they would have supported me better if they had#or maybe they just didnt know how to#my dad has wondered and questioned me about where my drive ans passion went and i dont have the heart to tell him that#it evaporated when he told me i wouldn't be successful as a writer when he told me that i would only be successful by going to college#when he constantly questioned everything i did and made me doubt myself over and over again#i dont know how to combat this feeling of worthlessness that comes from feeling lied to about my intelligence as a kid#i dont know how to comfort myself in the face of realizing i probably didnt have all then potential i was promised i had#and even if i did at one point have it i lacked the support necessary to nuture and grow it#how does one grieve being promised the world only to find out that was never truly an option?#how does one become comfortable with learning and growing again when it's been made to feel unsafe#and a threat to their frail sense of identity?#how does one find peace and contentment in an ordinary life when they were promised so much more?#not just promised so much more but expected to be so much more and now feel the weight of expectation on them?#i feel like i was promised the world and told that it would be easy to conquer and when it wasnt it was due to my own fault and failings
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love's public debut | jude bellingham x secret girlfriend!reader
summary; your private Instagram is your fortress, protecting your relationship from the public eye. but jude's friends and teammates follow you, and the internet is starting to catch on.
genre; smau
face claim: gracie abrams
note; english is not my friend language
request! masterlist!
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
footballwags
liked by Judewife, fansofjude, username and others
footballwags real madrid star jude bellingham, who everyone thought was single, was seen so close to an unknown girl. also, in his last game, after scoring the winning goal, he pointed to the stands. is our golden boy already taken?
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judewife i refuse for this to be real
fansofjude that should be me... 💔
username does anyone already know who the girl is?
footballwags we have some suspicions
username is not he allowed to have friends?
username i don't think this is just a friend
username he seems to be very private so don't overwhelm him girls, i'm sure he'll announce it when it's time ❤️
🔒yourusername
lo
liked by judebellingham, trentarnold66, vinijr and others
yourusername we had some fun
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judebellingham i do not want this to ever end
❤️ liked by the author
jobebellingham uh y/n???
yourusername i was talking about our holidays???
vinijr why didn't you invite me?
judebellingham get out
yourusername next time vini!! 🫶🏽
vinijr @yourusername i'll be waiting 🤭
judebellingham it's a couple's holiday 🙄
footballwags
liked by judewife, judebelling05, username and others
footballwags we found the profile of who we think is jude's mystery girl. unfortunately she has her account private but we hope that she will soon accept our request!
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judewife why do you assume is she?
footballwags because not only jude follows her, but also some of his teammates and friends. a lot of coincidence, right?
username if she has her account private it's for a reason, respect her privacy and don't bombard her requests
judefans i need to know what she is hiding in her account 😭😭😭
username fr, i'm so curious now
username will she have unpublished photos of Jude?
username of course she have
username manifesting that she makes her account public ✨✨✨
username you guys are making such a fuss about something we're not even sure about
username shut up
🔒yourusername
liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, trentarnold66 and others
yourusername my boy
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judebellingham my girl
❤️ liked by the author
trentarnold66 aww look at them, they make me sick
judebellingham 🙄🙄🙄
yourusername 😂😂😂
vinijr i see why you canceled our guys date
rodrygogoes just a liar
judebellingham get a girlfriend and we'll talk then
yourusername i didn't force him to stay, i swear 😂
rodrygogoes @yourusername don't worry, we know what he is like
seeing all the comments on social media made me reflect on my relationship with jude. we've been dating secretly for a while now, but i know how eager he is to share our love with the world.
i've always been quite private, just like jude. however, there have been times when i've wanted to shout from the rooftops that I'm with jude bellingham.
"do you think it would be wise to make my Instagram public?" i asked him, caught off guard by my own question.
he looked surprised. ‘why are you asking me that? i'd love to tell the world you’re my girlfriend, but if you're not comfortable making your account public, don’t feel pressured to do it.’
‘what if i do want to? maybe it’s time to show everyone you’re taken and put those other girls out of the picture.’
he chuckled and kissed my forehead. ‘i’ll support you no matter what you decide.’
instantly, i posted my first public Instagram post.
i knew that just as good things would come, bad things would also come, but i was willing to face it with Jude.
yourusername
liked by judebellingham, footballwags, judefans and others
yourusername welcome
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judebellingham you are beautiful, have they told you that?
❤️ liked by the author
yourusername my boyfriend usually does it daily
username their interactions 😭
username she is so pretty omg
username I already saw all her posts 💀
username i love her
username do y'all not realize that she only made her account public to attract attention?
username so what?
username it's because of people like you that she had it private in the first place.
username she seems nice and gets along well with jude's teammates, i'm very happy for him 🫶🏽
yourusername posted a story;
[caption; who is this beauty?]
judebellingham you didn't post this...
yourusername sorry my love
vinijr 😂😂😂😂
judefans LMFAO 🤣
username judeee??? 😭
footballwags
liked by judefans, username, y/nandjude and others
footballwags our mystery wag finally made her account public! we wish her and Jude the best 🫶🏽
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username she's not so pretty
username nobody asked you
username can you fight jude???
username how long have they been dating?
username people say that since last year
footballwags that's correct
username we don't know much about her but i already love her
judebellingham posted a story;
[caption; my fan n1]
#football smau#football social media au#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#real madrid x reader#football#jude bellingham#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham smau#jude bellingham x reader#footballer one shot#footballer#footballer x you#real madrid#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham x y/n
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Found-Family headcanons for a³'s coven of chaos, part 1: (because they all deserved more time with each other)
(part 2, here.)
(part 3, here.)
Agatha learned spanish for Rio, obviously—and spices up her dialogue with Spanish phrases out of habit. I assume she also knows other languages, being alive for as long as she has.
But I'd also like to think that language-learning gradually becomes something they all surprise each other with. And this is definitely super self-indulgent, because I'm always ecstatic when my native English-speaker friends are interested in learning my language.
For example, I definitely think Billy would ask Alice to teach him korean—and she'd be really excited for that. Not to mention, I feel like Billy just has the vibe of someone who'd be interested in learning different languages. (and korean in particular I think he'd definitely find interesting.)
I also definitely think Jen would try learning Sicilian for Lilia, considering the effort she makes to understand her and keep her comfortable towards the end. Lilia would be so moved, because she probably hasn't spoken to anyone in her mother-tongue in centuries. Like, it's literally considered an endanged language. (“Currently considered a “vulnerable” language by UNESCO, Sicilian faces increasing pressure from standard Italian, though it remains stronger than nearly all other Italian language varieties.”)
Mrs. Davis loves making food for all of them, always trying to diversify her cooking to suit their appetites, their cultures, the things each of them can eat, etc. It's a lot, but she doesn't mind!! She's a grandma!! She loves feeding people—and she missed having someone to cook for.
She grows her greens all by herself, too. Rio occasionally helps her with weeding and stuff. Mrs. Davis is freaked out by her rancid vibes at first, but ends up saying she's a “very sweet girl,” to which everyone responds by staring at her horrified.
Mrs. Davis would also definitely make a chore chart for everyone, but it never works out for a NUMBER of reasons.
First or all, Agatha always skips her turn with cleaning, saying that “she forgot.” She knows that either Billy or Sharon will just take care of it anyways. (Jen refuses to do any of Agatha's chores. “She can either do it by herself or drown in her own garbage-”)
Lilia always gets distracted and leaves her chores unfinished. She can only ever remember laundry, for some reason—she does everyone's laundry. But other than that, jeez. My girl is messy and that's okay. She has her very own unique way of finding where she puts her stuff, but others would merely call it chaos. Jen always picks up after her—and Lilia always huffs and puffs about how, “well now I can't find anything!”
Alice is the sort of person who accidentally creates messes everywhere, then stuffs everything wherever she finds. In drawers, under beds, you name it. Very, “out of sight, out of mind.” Like, she probably has “a chair” where she throws all her clothes.
Billy is very responsible, always abiding to the chore chart and oftentimes doing Agatha's chores too.
Jen is a total neat freak. She wants everything to be organised and under control—and she needs everything to smell nice.
She always makes the others scented candles. Agatha claims they're “useless garbage,” but uses them anyways.
Jen is also the one who usually keeps track of the bills and expenses, since she earns the most through her, “real job.”
Lilia is the sort of person to get lost in the mall, or even just the super-market. Alice has needed to look for her more than once.
Agatha loves crushing Jen's videos by appearing in the background and doing whatever bullshit she feels like.
Alice and Billy are everyone's mediators. Whenever someone gets in an argument, they're the ones who force them to work it out.
Alice is very protective of Sharon and Lilia, because she has mommy issues. Agatha has the opposite sort of mommy issues—but Sharon and Lilia treat them both like they're their kids.
The first time Billy brought Eddie to meet his coven, they literally put him through trials to decide whether he's worthy to date their son. Eddie is surprised he's been coven-approved.
“These women are insane, Billy—but then again, so am I for sticking around anyways.”
Eddie is very tired. His favourite coven members are Jen and Alice, who he considers the most normal. I REALLY think he'd fuck with Jen, because they're both so done with everyone else.
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario#jennifer kale#lilia calderu#billy maximoff#alice wu gulliver#sharon davis#agatha x rio#agatha all along headcanons#headcanons
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How I think COD GHOSTS Characters Would Sleep/Sleep next to you (GN - Teammate!Reader)
Note: This is like awkward coworker things. As if being forced to share a bed, not really romantic or anything, so it's platonic but could be for anyone. Just my thoughts on how these characters would react/act to this type of situation.
(Feel free to drop your own ideas in the comments/reblogs, No pressure though!)
Includes; Elias Walker, David ‘Hesh’ Walker, Logan Walker, Keegan P. Russ, Thomas A. Merrick, Kick and Riley
Elias Walker:
- He does an awkward little ‘I'm just gonna scootch in right here’ murmur as he lays down on one side of the bed. A pillow between you two as he crosses his arms over his chest to sleep.
- He's dead asleep before you even touch your pillow, and he snores… loudly. Like loud. And he can sleep in any position. His time in the military trained him for anything. Even if you take up most of the bed, he can hang his legs half off it and still stay asleep.
- He ends up sleeping with a pillow over his eyes, his arm would keep it in place, it lowkey looks like he suffocated himself, but nah, he's fine. Somehow, he just sleeps like that just to ‘block everything out’ for no specific reason. (But hey it blocks out his snores half the time)
- Elias doesn't really shift or move once he's asleep, he just stays very still, you might assume he's dead every time You wake up through the night.
- Elias is the ‘right’ temperature during the night, he's always very warm, not too cold or not too hot. If you're cold, he's willing to simply offer you all the blankets, or if you're hot he wouldn't mind taking the blankets for himself.
- Elias tries to be mindful of what you want or need, you could just wake him up if you need to, just let him know if you need something. Like you want a cup of water? He would get up out of bed to go get you one.
David ‘Hesh’ Walker:
- Surprisingly, Hesh doesn't snore, but he does like grunt or groan when he sleeps whenever he shifts over or when Riley hops onto him/the bed to sleep with you both.
- He isn't very awkward if you two know each other ‘well enough’ but if you two don't? He's as stiff as a board, glancing at you every few minutes as if to ensure that this was okay, are you comfortable? He's not comfortable.
- Hesh puts a pillow between the two of you at the beginning of the night, but half way through he ends up holding that pillow, cuddling up to it just to have something to hold.
- He spawls out when he sleeps, unlike Elias he shifts around alot, moving his body when he's too hot, to find the colder areas of the bed. Hesh is like a human-heater while asleep and you being in the bed next to him doesn't help.
- If you need something he will begrudgingly go get it for you, he would grumble or be sassy about it though. Only for your first ask, if he gets in bed and you ask him for another thing? He's not getting up till morning unless it's important.
Logan Walker:
- He snores, despite being deadly silent throughout the whole day, he snores like his father. Very loud, Like put him and Riley in a room together overnight and Hesh would refuse to sleep near them.
- Logan would just opt to stay awake, silently staring at the ceiling as you sleep next to him. He reflecting his life, like he does every night. His hands grasped together on his lower stomach as he doesn't even move.
- You might get curious and glance up because you don't even hear or see him breath, get jumpscared by his eyes being wide open as he ‘reflects’ or he also just sleeps with his eyes open somehow. Like half open, his eyes don't even fully close as he got into a ‘habit’ when he was young. (It scared the shit out of Elias and Hesh constantly when he was young, Elias would always just.. close his eyes at night, so he didn't have to see it or put a sleep mask on him)
- Logan isn't aware of this habit either, you try and smack him awake, and he wakes up but confused thinking you just smacked him for no reason, even if you try and explain it to him, he just waves it off.
- Logan’s freezing during the night, he ends up accidentally stealing the blanket a handful of times from you. You may need to yank it back over yourself or he just wouldn't notice your silent suffering or your annoyance.
- Logan isn't a fan of getting woken up, he would give you a side eye as he grunts if you ask for something.. unless it's very needed, he won't be moving. Claims his legs asleep just for him to forget about your request and fall back asleep.
Keegan P. Russ:
- He's an asshole, puts his cold feet over you, never in a pattern, but just does it, even wakes you up with just putting his feet on you.
- He can sleep anywhere, Any position, any time. Give him five minutes and he'll be dead asleep.
- Suffers from nightmares, so he might scare you awake randomly through the night when he shoots up from his sleep and accidentally almost shoves you off the bed.
- Keegan is freezing, and he knows it. Randomly places his hand on your arm or his legs over yours if you two know each other very well, he's simply smug and likes messing with you.
- If you two don't know each other he's silently there. Won't interact with you, won't touch you, won't go near you, there is two pillows between you both as if you even shift he's staring at you. He would stay awake the whole night, not trusting sleeping next to someone he doesn't know very well.
- If you do ask him for something throughout the night he tells you to “screw yourself” or a flat out “No.” before going to go get whatever you ask for within five minutes. He won't get up twice though, so if you need a handful of things just ask while he's up because he will ignore you if you ask for something else after he lays down again.
Thomas A. Merrick:
- It isn't that bad at all, Merrick's pretty respectful, makes it comfortable for you both. He'll ask if you are comfortable when you sleep side by side. If you're not? He's willing to put a pillow between you, or he might just end up sleeping on a chair if you don't want to sleep next to him.
- He will scrunch up his body uncomfortably if you ask him to sit in the chair. Merrick can somehow sleep like that, but will wake up with back pains.
- Sleeping in bed next to each other isn't even awkward, it's just the silence that is heavy, he makes sure not to touch you, or bother you. But he does snore in his sleep, and it's never continuous snoring. No it's random loud snores or snorts while he's asleep, it's like a jumpscare how random it is.
- He apologizes if you wake him up to tell him off, and does indeed sleep elsewhere if you want him to. Merrick does care about your sleep, you both being teammates, he needs you in your best conditions and if he is ruining your sleep accidentally, he's willing to sleep elsewhere.
- Merrick is nice and warm when he sleeps, he wouldn't really mind if you cuddle up to him if you two know each other well enough. He will simply put his arm under your head and hold you close.
- If you ask him to get up from the bed to get you something, he would grumble about it under his breath but get up to go get it for you, you can do this a maximum of three times throughout the while night before he gets too agitated with you and gives you a order to just go to fucking bed.
Kick:
- Kick is.. well a difficult sleeper, he could either have great nights of sleep, or he'll continuously wake up every few hours. In turn? He wakes you up every few hours as well, he shifts, turns, throws a leg over you (you can throw it back over him or shove him off the bed, he will end up staying on the floor till the next time he wakes up through the night.).
- He also makes random noises? Like completely random, he's somehow really good at impressions while dead asleep, boots against the floor? No it's just Kick sleep talking..? conversations while he's dead asleep? It keeps you on edge the whole night, not knowing what is Kick… or what could possibly be an intruder.
- You two end up kicking eachothers feet all night long, Kick doing it too well.. kick you, randomly just attacking your feet with his own, and in retaliation you kick him back, this goes on all night. Neither of you get sleep.
- He ends up asking to hold hands with a smug look, just for his own amusement, he's trying to make this night difficult for you so he can laugh later.
If you accept? Great, his interlocking your hands with a smug look on his face, ends up doing a death grip on your hand and he commits to the bit, he stays like that all night, even if it gets sweaty.. You'll have to fight him to get him to let go.
If You give him a side eye, tell him to shut up and get some rest, he'll be dramatic. Monologues out loud about his ‘disappointment’, makes it a point to call Keegan (if he could, Keegan might hangup or just listen to make fun of Kick next time they're on a mission together) and complain to him loudly for you to hear.
- Kick is a cool guy, not to hot or not to cold, he doesn't mind cuddling at all, he will put up a fight if you attempt to take all the blankets, if he gets none he will cuddle up to your cocooned form (if you are comfortable with that)
- If you ask him to get up to get you something he just laughs at you and tells you hell no. Unless it's important, he's not moving from this bed until morning.
- It's actually not that awkward sharing a bed with Kick, his constant teasing, jokes and idiotic actions make it seem more like a friendly sleepover rather than awkward co-worker forced to share a bed.
Riley:
- Riley decides to sleep in your room instead of Hesh's (after Hesh annoyed the poor dog by promising Riley to go on a walk, then forgetting due to getting back from a rough mission.) Riley ends up plopping head first into your pillow, carrying one of Logan's shirt in his mouth deciding it was his comfort item of the night.
- Riley just puts a good chunk of his weight onto you, plops his butt right to sit on you while you're asleep to attempt to wake you up. Like he will just sit like that and side eye you until you wake up and acknowledge his grand presence.
- if you don't pet him or lay him down next to you, he gets in your personal space, like creepily stares into your closed eyes, standing over you with Logan's damn sweatshirt smacking your face until you get up or groan.. or pull Riley down to lay next to you or on you.
- Riley's tail wags when you finally wake up or acknowledge him, laying over you as you give him attention.
- Riley does indeed quiet down after he gets what he wants, but he sprawls In his sleep.. despite being a dog, he takes up most of the bed. (It's why Hesh gets grumbley when Riley decides to take over his bed, because neither Hesh, Logan or Riley are winning whenever they share a room, as Riley makes sure to take over any bed space he could see).
- Riley also snores, no one is sure if he's just mimicking Elias or Logan or if he really just snores really loud. Riley does indeed sometimes loudly snores when napping, you'll hear it from another room.
(Random Note; Lowkey. I want more COD GHOSTS content. more lore on Torch, Neptune, and Grim. Hell even Kick, Ajax and the OG members, Like old Task Force Stalker missions, would be so epic to know about)
#call of duty ghosts x reader#call of duty ghosts headcanons#cod ghosts x reader#cod ghosts headcannons#cod ghosts#David Hesh Walker x gn reader#david hesh walker headcanons#David Hesh Walker x reader#Elias Walker#Elias Walker Headcanons#logan walker headcanons#logan walker x reader#Logan Walker x gn reader#cod kick#kick call of duty#thomas merrick headcanons#Thomas Merrick x gn reader#Thomas Merrick x reader#keegan russ x reader#keegan russ x female reader#keegan russ headcanons#keegan russ x male reader#keegan russ x gn reader#Cod x reader#cod x gn reader#Cod x male reader#call of duty x gn reader#cod riley#Riley the dog#cod ghosts headcanons
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hello!! I don't know if this is appropriate (pls do not feel obligated to answer) but i was wondering what were ur thoughts on the israeli grass-roots movement Standing Together. I first found out abt them through a tumblr post that shared this substack article (https://theconnector.substack.com/p/if-its-not-helping-then-shut-the). the article immediately put an extremely bad taste in my mouth towards the movement and its founders, but i dont know if i'm being overly-critical of them.
Hey thanks for sending this in. No worries, it's totally ok. I was actually debating whether or not to publish this, mostly because I was afraid this would distract from Gaza, but I decided that it's imperative to stop normalizers from squeezing their way into the movement. Remember, the demands of the Palestinian people begin and end with liberation. Everything else is irrelevant and pointless to the cause.
So first off — I don't think you're being overly-critical of them at all. The first red flag of both this article and the group themselves is that they often exchange "Palestinian" with "Arab" and "Israeli" with "Jewish." That right off the bat shows me they have no respect for Palestinians and see Jewish people and Palestinians as mutually exclusive categories. I've spoken on this blog before about how racist it is to assume no Palestinian is Jewish and vice versa and this group really illustrates the forced division they imagine within their own goals and wording.
The article itself is quite anti-Palestinian in its erasure — it talks about avoiding words like "genocide," and "apartheid," and "ethnic cleansing" because "they are serious people trying to actually get something done." I really don't understand why not using those words makes you a serious person. If anything, it erases a description of how to define what it happening to Palestinians.
The whole redefinition of "peace" in this article and group is just calmness. These people are not advocating for peace in which families are reunited and land is given back — they are advocating for a muted version of the status quo of the current political system, just with less obviously fanatical governments. Peace cannot be attained when the people directly affected cannot have a say in defining it. They won't even say the word "apartheid." It's not some scholarly word with no meaning — it has actual consequences and effects on people (click). Palestinians are tried in military court. Their movement is monitored and restricted. It means that there are different legal systems for different people (click)! If you reject that this exists, then you're not interested in making the lives of Palestinians better — you're only interested in making your own life more comfortable.
As soon as you remove our ability to say words like "genocide" and "apartheid", you remove our ability to determine what happens specifically to Palestinians based on racism. By only saying "Palestinians are getting killed" an Israeli can come in and say "well so am I, by Hamas! Let's work together to end the killing" when it ignores that this is a systematic effort to completely wipe out all trace of Palestinians from the world.
It's like saying, "Don't say you have arthritis, say your joints hurt. And well, that happens to everyone, so let's just find a way to stop all our joints from hurting!" Then you work with people who fundamentally don't understand your pain and symptoms, oversimplifying your situation to the point of malicious universality. Sure, everyone's joints hurt, but my joints are hurting because my immune system is attacking them, not because of old age. You can't help my arthritis the same way you can wear a heat/cold patch to sooth your joints — there are other problems you're ignoring that all work together to cause me systematic pain and might cause bigger problems in the future if left untreated properly.
Similar symptoms don't mean similar causes and ignoring that is fundamentally ignoring the root issue and attempting to trivialize Palestinian's suffering. As soon as you take away the words to describe our situation, it doesn't sound so bad, does it?
Now, basically, the... weirdest part of the article is this excerpt:
People like him in Israel are very aware of how the left here is talking about them, and it’s not helping. “You can call me a colonizer or a settler,” he declared, “but I’m not going anywhere. And neither are the Palestinians.” When people chant, “Palestine will be free,” he said, “we Israelis hear, ‘without you.’ In the same way that a lot of Palestinians hear the ministers in Bibi’s government speak and think they want to do the same thing to them.” The problem as they both see it is that we are caught between two polar opposites. “Hamas believes in Greater Palestine,” Green said. “And on the other side we have people who believe in the idea of Greater Israel.” Indeed, that concept is in the charter of Netanyahu’s Likud Party. “Both sides have very problematic governing bodies,” he added. And the status quo of maintaining the occupation and managing the conflict has been exploded now.
Well, first off, Hamas is not the only one who believes in "Greater Palestine." Palestinians around the globe have been fighting for that since 1948. Second off, it's quite odd that you would center yourself in the wake of the ongoing slaughter of 10,000 people, with no end in sight. Right now, I would assume you'd be advocating for an end to the mass killings first and foremost, but you seem to be more worried about your right to stolen land.
Third, this completely erases the violence done to Palestinians the past 75+ years in favor for a "peace" that will only allow citizens of Israel comfort in their lives. Sure Palestinian citizens of Israel might have more comfortable lives, maybe (although I doubt it). But what about Gaza, which has been ravaged by Israel? What about the people in the Occupied Territories, whose economy depends on Israel, which controls it? What about the millions of refugees around the world who can't so much as see the place where they grew up because they've been exiled? The colonization of Palestine by Israel is not so old — there are people STILL ALIVE who participated in the massacres of Palestinians in 1948 and 1967 and walk around without facing any real consequences for that. My great-grandmother had seen both and she only passed away a couple of years ago. Where is the "peace" for her? Where is the "peace" for millions like her who still dream of going back to their childhood home?
This group AND the article tries to cloud your view into illustrating two opposing groups with equal power. They aren't. Palestinians, unfortunately, endure systematic oppression both within Gaza and throughout Palestine. Each and every time they try to resist peacefully, they've been shot, abducted, or imprisoned. The Great March of Return is one such example. BDS is also an example, yet that has constantly been outlawed by American governments. There have been a plethora of Palestinian artists, writers, and filmmakers who have been silenced or killed for advocating for a Free Palestine. Most recently, this included Heba Abu-Nada who was an award winning poet and writer who was martyred on October 20th after getting shelled by an Israeli missile. Ghassan Kanafani also was assassinated last century. The list goes on. Palestinians have no hope of "changing the system from within" because that internal change will always depend on the mercy of the Israelis that pretend to ally themselves with the Palestinians. Someone in Gaza cannot leave their refugee camp and go back to their ancestral home because no one in this group is advocating for that — and remember, the right of return is an essential part of the demands of the Palestinian people and we cannot ignore that for a forced "peace" that favors calmness over actual justice.
Now as we examine the group themselves, here is their mission statement/goal:
Standing Together is a progressive grassroots movement mobilizing Jewish and Palestinian citizens of Israel against the occupation and for peace, equality, and social justice. We know that the majority have far more in common than that which sets us apart and only a tiny minority benefits from the status quo. The future that we want-peace and independence for Israelis and Palestinians, full equality for everyone in this land, and true social, economic, and environmental justice — is possible. To achieve this future, we must stand together as a united front: Jewish and Palestinian, secular and religious, Mizrahi and Ashkenazi, rural and urban, and people of all genders and sexual orientations. As the largest Jewish-Arab grassroots movement in Israel, we are committed to creating an alternative to our existing reality and building the political strength to make this transformation possible.
Yet again, they are separating "Palestinian" and "Jewish," reinforcing this dichotomy that's so harmful. AND they're interchanging "Palestinian" and "Arab," which erases the diversity within Palestinian society. A group that makes the distinction between "Palestinian" and "Jewish" shows that they are not interested in the restitution of Palestinians but rather solidifying their own position within society by emphasizing a false dichotomy between "Palestinians" and "Jews" with no potential for overlap.
They mention "true justice" but "true justice" doesn't exist if there are no reparations towards the people who have been exiled and displaced, murdered, and tortured the past 75+ years. Justice is not an abstract concept — it is adhering to the demands of the people most impacted by systematic oppression, which is the Palestinians.
Looking at their leadership, there are only a couple of Palestinians with the vast majority of them being non-Palestinian. Sorry, but I'm wholly uninterested in "peace" and "equality" movements that are not made up of majority Palestinians. It's only common sense that you would expect such a movement to be led by Palestinians themselves — but this group seems to use Sally Abed as a token Palestinian who furthers their narrative of wanting "peace" in Israeli society. And even looking at their action items, you can see they make a point about emphasizing safety for the *Israeli* citizens above all else, stating that their far right government does nothing to serve the citizens of Israel. They claim it will also bring safety for Gazans, but how? You can advocate for a change in the government, yes, but if the people in Gaza are subject to getting their rights taken away based on the whims of whoever happens to be in power then no amount of "internal" activism in Israeli society will help them. They will always be at the mercy of the people who have a vested interest in erasing the people of Gaza and the West Bank so that they may take over their land.
Please remember, the civil rights movement of the 60s and the BLM Movement of this century were led by and FOR Black people of the United States because they were the ones making the demands for a change in their circumstances. Because at the end of the day, the people who are the most oppressed deserve the right to decide how their future appears and should not be dictated by the oppressor in any way.
This group tries to make a separation between the "Israeli people" and the "Israeli government." Right away, I have to laugh. They act as if the colonization of Palestine is too old for anyone to remember its origins — no. I had family living in Palestine as recently as '67. Maybe *this* generation didn't choose to settle in Palestine, but the previous generation did. And the generations before that. Before 1948, Israel didn't even exist. Hell, before a couple hundred years ago, BORDERS didn't exist. Not to mention, mandatory conscription means that most civilians will have been directly part of the suppressing forces, making them liable for the material effects of colonization. Why are people so resistant to the idea of undoing colonialism and its effects? I cannot think of any other reason than because they have a vested interest in keeping those borders up, in emphasizing nationality because they're one of the groups of people that is benefited from the establishment of a "Jewish State."
So in that, unless you call for an end to the idea of the "Jewish State" in Palestine, then I cannot think of you as a sincere advocate for Palestinian rights — this group especially plays at normalization of a muted version of the status quo rather than actual justice and reparations. The "Israeli advocates" within this group will benefit first and foremost in their own activism — therefore it's hard for me to view them in a positive light.
All activism for Palestinians should center around giving Palestinians reparations, as well as giving reparations to all indigenous victims of colonization. I think this group only tries to muddy the waters to make people forget what they're fighting for. I honestly do not understand why liberation scares you, if it means that no nation-state will have complete and total power over you and your family.
"Free Palestine" is an anti-colonial movement. Such a thing is possible — but you have to try to make it possible. Those against the unending liberation of all people are one of those who have the most to benefit from the continuation of colonization.
Right now, your main concern should be the people of Gaza and the people of the West Bank, and ensuring their safety and longevity in the face on continued erasure. "Peace" is all well and good but who exactly gets to define that? Who gets to benefit most from it? Unless you can unequivocally answer "ALL Palestinians," then you're not an ally — you're only interested in helping yourselves.
Remember — the fact that we even had to fight for our rights is itself an injustice. At the very least, ask the people who are most affected what they want before you listen to Israelis who have a vested interest in keeping the state of Israel alive.
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╰─▸ ❝ three am ❞ - ,, jake sim
pairing bf!jake x gn! reader ୨୧ genre fluff ୨୧ warnings kissing, making out ୨୧ wc 1,4k ୨୧ just a little bit of beta, writer is sleep deprived req; prompt 19; (both waking up in the middle of the night and going on an adventure to find the perfect snack) prompt 9 (taking a photo of them smiling or in their element); prompt 14 (brushing strands of hair away)
as the clock struck 3 a.m., you made the decision to change into more comfortable clothes and head to bed, or at least attempt to do so. it was weekend, nothing to for the following day, yet you couldn't shake the guilt of staying up late. it’s like ruining your sleep schedule on purpose. you had already swapped your jeans for sweatpants, considering that you still needed to eat, and you didn't want to accidentally stain your pjamas.
you had been texting jake an hour ago, but he had stopped responding, leading you to assume he had gone to sleep. as you left your bedroom, a knock on your front door startled you. your eyes widened in fear; it was so late, and you wondered who could be knocking on your door at this hour.
your instinctive reaction was to message jake. you were already holding your phone, so you unlocked it and opened the chat with him.
your messages filled with panic; "oh my god," "someone is knocking at my door," "what do i do," "jake, oh my god, i'm about to lose it. help."
to your surprise, you received a response, making you think that perhaps jake hadn't gone to bed yet. "just open the door," you gasped at his message.
‘ARE YOU INSANE THIS PERSON WILL PROBABLY KIDNAP ME OR KILL ME I WONT,’ you replied anxiously.
‘y/n.’ ‘open. the. door.’
you didn't understand, but a glimmer of hope made you consider that maybe, just maybe, it was jake. you cautiously approached the door, still fearing the person on the other side, and slowly opened it slightly, allowing you to peek at the intruder.
the weight on your heart lifted, and the fear disappeared when you saw jake’s silly smile. you loudly groaned and finally opened the door.
"i'm also happy to see you!" he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he could enter your apartment. "i missed you," he added as you hugged him.
"you're insane, and i hate you. you scared me half to death," you said, pretending to be offended.
“you loooooove me,” he teased, swaying your bodies left and right. “anyways, i’m taking you on a date.”
“a date? it’s late, jake.”
“don’t care, didn’t ask. put your shoes on, please.”
you sighed, unable to say no to your adorable, puppy-like boyfriend. he was your soft spot, and he knew it, often abusing it, albeit in a loving way. jake was a pure soul, never even considering hurting you in any way. you quickly put on your shoes, and minutes later, you were outside on the quiet streets of seoul. as the world grew quieter, the streets came alive in a different way. the distant traffic hum became a soothing melody, and the cool breeze on your face, jake’s hand holding yours being the only source of warmth.
feeling the chilly air, jake pulled you closer, his body warming yours. soon, you entered a busier street, with neon signs flickering like distant stars, hurting your eyes if you stared too long. some music from nearby clubs revealed cities nightlife.
you walked in silence until jake pulled a pair of airpods out of his pocket and handed one to you. the music was already playing when you comfortably placed it in your ear. it took just one song for jake to start moving in rhythm with the music. taking advantage of the nearly empty street, he turned to you.
"y/n, let's dance," he said, making you chuckle, almost causing your airpod to fall out, which you had to readjust.
“dance?” you answered too late, as he had already moved away and spun you around. you couldn't help but laugh even more. you couldn't refuse; the melody forced you to dance on its own. for the entire song, you danced around, still moving forward. you didn't know where jake was leading you, but you didn't complain.
another song played, and jake began singing and even rapping loudly. you laughed heartily, enjoying the moment as much as you could. when the chorus rolled in, you both sang along, still somehow dancing. jake enthusiastically gestured while singing the lyrics, which only made you laugh even more.
at some point he even let go out of your hand to focus more on the song, soon after you were recording him and taking pictures, you were basically his hypeman, somehow shouting the adlibs.
at some point, he let go of your hand to focus more on the song. soon, you were recording him and taking pictures, essentially becoming his hype person, enthusiastically shouting the adlibs. his moves were smooth and pleasant to watch, and you weren't laughing at his dancing skills; you were genuinely impressed. but when he suddenly twerked, you couldn't hold back your laughter and had to stop, nearly collapsing from laughter.
he laughed alongside you. "please, don't tell me you got that on video," jake said after a minute or two of both of you laughing.
“i got it perfectly, don’t worry.”
from an outside perspective, you probably looked like two idiots, dancing and singing to songs no one else could hear, laughing as if it were the funniest thing on earth. however, you couldn't be bothered to think about other people; it felt like it was just you, jake, and the music, creating cherished memories together.
you both gradually calmed down, still swaying to the beats as you walked. then, jake pulled you into a 7-eleven, mentioning that he was hungry.
“what are we feeling like eating?” he asked as you strolled through the instant noodles aisle. you quickly grabbed a pack for yourself, and jake followed suit. the argument at the self-checkout couldn't be avoided, but your boyfriend eventually won, claiming that he was the one treating you on this date and that he was the best boyfriend who needed to pay.
soon, you were sitting outside, near the microwaves and the self-cook ramen station. jake had you fill your cup with water first, and you didn't argue against his "best boyfriend" claims because, after all, they were true. as you waited for your cups to be filled, you swayed your hips to the music still playing in your airpods. jake quickly noticed and flashed you a bright smile.
the lyrics expressed a mutual desire in a singer's relationship, willing to do anything for their significant other. it was slow and perfect for the moment. you looked into jake's eyes, focusing more on the song's meaning. in the meantime, he placed his hands on your hips, swaying with you. you felt incredibly safe and loved in this precious moment between the two of you. a romantic song played, and you both gazed at each other with overwhelming love surrounding you.
you couldn't resist leaning in and asking for a kiss. the tenderness in it felt different, and as his lips met yours, you were instantly flooded with butterflies in your stomach. it felt intimate and more passionate than your previous kisses. unconsciously, you wrapped your hands around his neck as you continued to sway gently, the loud beep from the machine preventing you from having a full-on make-out session in front of the store and the unfortunate cashier who could witness it all.
as you pulled away, you smiled at jake, feeling an abundance of happiness and love that seemed boundless and uncontrollable. both of you turned your attention to your cups, mixing the noodles. soon, you were seated, both slurping on the ramen.
“‘so good,” jake said, with his mouth full. “it hits different during nights like this.” he added after swallowing.
you nodded, your cheeks full of noodles. he laughed at your adorable appearance, and you responded with a puzzled head tilt. "nothing, you're just cute," he said, perfectly understanding you without the need for words.
you swallowed your noodles, not responding verbally. instead, you reached out and brushed strands of his hair away as you saw him struggling to keep them out of his eyes, his hands occupied.
you both continued to eat as if nothing had happened, but jake's heart was undoubtedly racing from your swift action, his cheeks reddened, and his eyes widen. both of you were certain that this wasn't a fleeting relationship. this late-night date had made you both realise that this was something more, that you both loved each other unconditionally, and that you were both serious about your relationship, wanting to be together until the end.
requests: open; prompt list © 2023 — all rights reserved to user thejakeslayla, please do not steal, plagiarise or translate any of my work !
#thejakeslayla#enhypen drabbles#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enha x reader#enhypen x you#jake x reader#enhypen#jake x you#jake x y/n#jake drabble#jake drabbles#jake imagines#jake fluff
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hello hi! ik the fandom mostly favors interactions between LIs & MCs/Readers but i was wondering if you have your own ideas between the LADS boys like friendship headcanons between them? how their dynamic works and which would be the best bros with each other or strongest siblings rivalry vibes between them ( ╹▽╹ )
hopefully this is alright to request! 🙏🏻
Hi!! That's totally alright, I've seen so many good takes on this already and I love a good character analysis, so would love to weigh in! I waited to answer this since I was actually working on this fic when you sent it, and that's got all the guys interacting, so check it out if you're interested! 🥰
Disclaimer: These are all my personal headcanons! I'm not the authority on the boys and their characterisations, nor do I claim to be, so pls be respectful if you disagree with anything!
Ok so!
I can see Rafayel and Sylus getting on well once they're more familiar with each-other (though maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part).
I think Sy would honestly force Raf to confront a lot of his own insecurities? After all, Sy seems a lot more comfortable in who he is-- he's got that self-assuredness and charm that we all know Raf has to put more conscious effort into portraying. Whilst we don't know the extent of his past, Sylus has clearly made peace with the fact that he has to do bad things sometimes, whereas Rafayel still seems to have a lot of inner conflict around his actions, morality and identity.
I imagine Raf resenting Sy a little at first and so acting out a bit, trying to one-up him etc, and Sy being Sy, I think he'd probably rise to the challenge (he could be the bigger man, but like, where's the fun in that??)
Sylus is smart, so I think he'd probably realise pretty quickly that Rafayel is masking. They've both been through a lot, and once they see that in each-other there'd be a mutual respect I hope. Plus they probably have common enemies?? So if they can both get over the instinct to lone-wolf it, that's one kick-ass team ready to go (and I will be SEATED, ready to enjoy the view!!!)
If the guys are all out together, Zayne's probably gonna take it upon himself to be mediator, care-taker etc, especially as I think he'd be the one to read between the lines and notice if any of the others are struggling (e.g. if Rafayel's getting worn out in a social setting).
At first, it would be because they're MCs friends! He knows she cares about them, so he's gonna be looking out for them all. But he needs a break! So once they're all more familiar, I can see the others trying to coax him into relaxing and letting his guard down a bit, and he'll appreciate that! (But he will keep one eye on the ball because, like, imagine Raf coming up to you and saying 'I've got this, you can totally trust me' like you would have a med-team on standby, y'know?)
I think Sylus and Zayne would naturally have a bit of rivalry in terms of authority, but it would be light-hearted. There's an ongoing debate around who MC left in charge (Zayne) but there's only one person who's actually convinced by that debate (Sylus). He's gonna assume leadership position anyway, and Zayne lets him get away with it to a specific extent, unless it crosses a line, and then it quickly becomes clear who the real leader is.
Xavier!! I can see Xavier being the 'quiet one' of the group who secretly has a lot more sway than any of them realise. The others are super comfortable around him, especially Zayne when he actually wants to relax, or Rafayel when his social battery is dead. But! Xavier's no push-over, and that quickly becomes apparent in any conflict.
I actually think Sylus would enjoy stoking Xavier's darker side (if Xavier gets involved in an argument you best believe Sylus has the popcorn ready) and that the two would make pretty good sparring partners. They'd have fun with the whole Hunter's Association vs Onychinus thing, similar to the MC/Sylus dynamic.
But at the end of the day?
There's a reason we love the boys-- they're all good guys, and whatever conflicts there are, they're gonna figure it out for MC's sake. They've all been through so much, and they're all selfless in their love for MC, so that's always gonna be something they can relate to and appreciate in each-other.
And I think they could all benefit from more genuine friends?
So yeah! That's my take! I know I love angst but I'm choosing to be an optimist, mostly because I love the found-family trope and I wanna see the boys getting up to sitcom-type shenanigans! 😭😭😭
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Hi! I finally got the chance to read Aurora a bit ago. It's a wonderful story--all I was expecting and better! I was particularly amazed and delighted by the artwork and visual mechanics used to tell the story, so I wrote a post to yell about how cool it is and break some of it down. (No criticism, just praise.) I'm mostly a hobbyist, so I'm hoping I've done it justice.
That said: zero pressure to read it or respond to this ask. Normally I wouldn't send it since I tagged, but I know Tumblr's notifs are a mess and things get lost very easily. I've been in both the "one (1) word of praise will feed me for a year" and the "oh gods don't talk about my writing/art because anything that seems Off will break my brain" modes before, and I absolutely don't want to push or make you uncomfortable!
If you are comfortable, however, I wanted to ask about your use of what I'm assuming are Screen and blending modes in sound effect words. (I'm only guessing that's the technique, though, so I could be totally wrong about how it's done! I'm mostly experienced in image manipulation in Photoshop.) Making them semi-transparent over the actions is genius :) What inspired you to do that, and are there specific techniques you use to make it work?
Same questions go for using specific colors to distinguish different characters' words and actions. I really noticed it in the cave sequence with Falst and Dainix, since their colors are so vivid in the dark (ex. Falst's little swats and Dainix's swooping kick at 1.20.9). It lends excellent clarity to busy scenes.
Thanks! Have a lovely day, enjoy your break, and happy holidays <3
You're correct about the technique! "Screen" is the blend mode I use most often for sound effects. I stumbled on it mostly through trial and error - I love how sound effects add depth to a comic panel, but it's very easy for them to obscure the art in a way I find counterproductive, so "Screen" lets me put the sound effect directly over the origin of the sound while still letting it be visible through the word. Early chapters didn't have it as much-
Most of the sound effects in early chapters are just solid colors with reduced opacity if I'm feeling fancy. But I started figuring it out around chapter 8 and 9, because Falst is kind of a sound-effect-heavy guy, especially in his fight scenes.
In order to make sure they don't impede the visibility of the action, I'll often soft-erase the top or bottom half of the SFX to reduce its opacity while still leaving it readable.
I'll usually double that up with an outline on the SFX so it's still readable. This is an especially important consideration if the SFX goes over an area of the background that's very bright or glowing.
Color-coding the speed lines and SFX to the character or force causing them isn't a hard and fast rule, but I like using it (in part because it's a habit from the OSP illustrations, where every character has a single pop of color in their lineart) mostly because it sort of codes every sound to make it clear where it's emanating from, or the general feeling of the sound. Since I normally do character-colors for SFX, something like this stands out more jarringly-
Which it's supposed to, but a big lightning strike doesn't register as anything too worrying because it's just Tess up to her usual shenanigans.
It's also very useful for magic effects, because each form of magic has its own associated palette.
And when I had a very complicated fight scene in a dark environment, I used the texture pattern I'd already made for the monster to color its SFX, so when I Screened them onto the panels they didn't obscure too much while still communicating "this is something else."
Changing the weight, lined-vs-not-lined, and opacity of the SFX words also helps to communicate that not every sound has the same feeling. A strong motion is solid and aggressive, but a crackling, unstable sound is more ephemeral and staticky.
It's definitely been a process of learning as I go - looking back at the earlier chapters I can actually see when I first tried various tricks I now use regularly, like doubling and distorting an SFX to produce the effect of a camera-shaking impact. I haven't really seen any other comics that do it like I do, probably because most other comics follow a more traditional production pipeline where text bubbles and sound effects get locked into the composition early, before the inking stage, because traditional physical comics don't have digital-art layers to play with. Adding sound effects to a page is almost the last thing I do before exporting them, and that only works because digital art and layers allow for a ton of flexibility.
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one messed up bat .6
Dc masterlist
batfam x reader x jason
Summary: a relapse, some comforting words and breakfast that doesn't go to plan
Warnings: sa, talk of assault, self harm, self hate, semi-comfort, dissociation kind of a long episode, self harm during said episode, mention of vomit vague, anxiety attack, panic, blood, eating disorder (none, restrictive or compulsive, meal tracking)
A/N: I do not own dc boo hoo
It was their fault really. I mean they were supposed to be watching her, Jason was supposed to be sharing a bed with her. It's hardly her fault that upon waking up alone from one of the worst nightmares she'd ever had her first thought was an old comfortable habit. And that my dear friend is how she found herself curled up on the bathroom floor, the door locked, and a pocket knife she didn't remember stashing clutched in a shaky hand. She should call for help, should put in the minimal effort of simply sending an sos text. Two words, sos bathroom, not that hard. Certainly easier than standing and walking through the halls in search of somebody. She figured a few of them were out on patrol and had hoped at least Jason would be home, but she knew he could only be cooped up for so long and he probably assumed one of the others would stay with her. Maybe they expected Damian to keep her company. No matter, there wasn't anybody here and if she didn't do something she was gonna pass out from a panic attack so oh well.
"Just one," she promised herself quietly before fumbling to get her pants off while she was still sitting. (hard to write angsty y'all with why'd you only call me when you're high playing)
Blade clean and legs clean and the floor not so clean and breathes coming so fast she was shaking she slashed once at her inner thigh, high up enough all her shorts would cover it. The relief was a flood, all consuming and as beautiful as crashing waves to the point it brought her to tears. She'd missed it, missed the rush, and the high, and calm.
Yeah one wasn't gonna cut it, pun intended.
Guilt was tickling the back of her hazy mind but she could worry about that later. Finally after fifteen or so shallow cuts she was cool as a cucumber. There was hardly any blood, all of them barely bubbling up from her careful and light pressure. She stood up to clean herself off and nearly fell back down when someone knocked.
"Hey, you alive in there. My shift," came Dick's voice.
"Just a sec." Well crap.
"Sorry I'm late, Jay didn't tell me he wasn't here until like twenty minutes ago and I have no idea how long he's been gone but I was out and-"
"It's fine Dickie, I'm not gonna blow up or nothin'."
"Don't joke."
She opened the door after cleaning up her mess with a quick eye roll where he could see then she was showing him her arms and the tops on her thighs with and easily forced bored expression.
"What about your ribs?"
Another eyroll while she held up her shirt.
"Wanna see more ya gotta buy me dinner."
"Eww, don't joke like that I'm your brother."
"I gotta be uncomfy you gotta be," she said with a shrug and slid past him to get her bed.
"So dramatic," he said flopping himself down on the mattress.
"Looks who's talking," she snarked grabbing the throw blanket at the end to toss over him.
"No cuddles," he said with a pout.
"Had a bad dream, don't feel all that cuddly."
"Sorry."
"Didn't know you were sand man," she snorted climbing under the covers putting a good amount of space between them.
"I got promoted, or demoted depending on how you look at it."
"Demoted," she agreed laying down and facing away from him. He lasted all of two minutes before she heard him shift and just knew she wasn't gonna like it.
"We used to talk," he said softly.
"Dick don't-"
"I know I've slacked off, ok, I moved away and stopped checking in, and then I only heard from you once a month and I tried even less with Tim. And I went back through and you were the one to start the conversation, every time, and I feel like shit about that, I know that's on me. Then you tried to reach out for help and I was an ass." He scrubbed a hand down his face and through his hair and she knew has was consciously stopping himself from hugging her, he was touchy person.
"Is there a point to this?'
"Before I was an ass, back when we talked once a week why didn't you tell me. I would have helped, would have let you move in or convinced B you needed your own place or-"
"Dick, I've been doing this for so long I stopped caring about getting better. I only called you because...pinkie swear you won't repeat this," she said holding her arm behind her in the general direction of his. His pinkie found hers in seconds.
"Being, benched, grounded if you will...it made me feel small, like a kid being scolded for touching a hot stove or... I don't know but it was jarring and I forgot that I was an adult. And I just remember us being so close when I was younger, and you always gave the best hugs, and I kept thinking...maybe if I told you, you could fix it, my big brother. I knew you were upset about what happened but you've never held onto anything too long and I thought you'd be cooled off. Sorry." His hand enveloped hers.
"I'm such a bitch." She snorted.
"Not gonna argue with that."
"I know nothing I say is gonna make it better. I was criminally neglectful-"
"You're not my parent."
"No, but I am your big brother and I shouldn't have snapped at you. You should feel like you can always talk to me, always. Even if you got a hangnail and wanna complain about it-"
"Not doing that."
"You should! You should snap me or dm me or hell send me an email with a picture of your nail with the caption 'this bitch' and I should respond with a 'yeah can't believe that what a ho' and we should be able to have easy fun and flowing conversation again. But you should also feel ok bringing me the heavier stuff. You should know that if you sent me an sos I would be there. Or if you have a nightmare," he gave her hand a pointed squeeze," you should be able to call me and we can talk until the sun comes up and hate ourselves for the drousyness the next day-"
"Dick I'm not calling you for a -"
"You should! Damnit You're my little sister and I love you. I shouldn't have, fuck I shouldn't have let you go so long without making you know you could turn to me. I know it's tense between me and B but that has nothing to do with you or the others. If you need, if you or Tim or the others," he amended," need me to come to the manor I will. If you need to come stay the night or an ice cream run or a fucking pen you call me, text me, send a carrier pigeon." He was getting louder with each sentence and she half expecting him to start yelling and shaking her shoulders. She'll blame the nostalgia of having her brother there for what comes out of her mouth.
"I relapsed," she said simply, quietly.
"I'm proud of you for telling me." No lecture, no demanding to see them, just acceptance for who she was and where she was at. It made her throat tight.
"Say sike right now," she joked, finally rolling over to look at him. The soft smile on his face hardly visible in the dark but it made her insides churn. She didn't deserve it damnit. She didn't deserve his dismissal over the years but she couldn't handle him like this.
"Did you clean them?"
"No," she admitted trying to take her hand back from his but he used it to pull her towards him instead. His arms were like chains, she knew from experience, there was no escaping a Grayson hugtm.
"Are they deep?"
"No."
"then we can handle it later, or Jay can, or Tim, or Alfred, or whoever you want to. Hell you can clean them and I'll take your word for it."
"Why," she asked into his chest.
"What do you mean?"
"I've been keeping secrets for years and am notably a good liar so why?"
"Because you are a good liar, you could have easily kept your relapse to yourself, but you didn't. It would be ideal to know before you try something but I'm proud of you for being honest after the fact," he said before she felt a slight pressure on her scalp and if she felt a few tears she wasn't gonna bring it up.
___
When she woke up a green eyed Jason was watching her from the floor where he sat with his chin on the mattress.
"Do you need to punch something," she asked pointing to her own eyes. he blinked the pit fueled haze left. "You're getting better at that. 'M proud."
"Need me to hit him," he asked using his eyes to gesture to Dick who was passed out sideways on the bed his arms wrapped around her waist and his head on the bed next to her. It looked like he was gonna have a neck ache and she couldn't remember him getting into the position but oh well not her problem.
"Neh, we were up kinda late talking, just help me escape."
"Anytime princess." He grabbed a pillow to ease under Dick's arm over her stomach and pried up so she could roll out before Dick clamped down onto the pillow and let out a sigh.
"M up."
"Well why didn't you let go, I've had to pee for like an hour," she hissed at his flicking his shoulder.
"You coulda' said 'at."
"Yeah whatever, for my ailment I require at least two pancakes and," she paused to tap her chin even though only Jay could see," you get to hold the apple when I next throw knives circus boy."
"Nope, no knives nice try though," Jason tisked at her tossing her over his shoulder and walking the few steps to her bathroom. He plunked her down on the floor, pecked her on the nose and promptly closed the door in her face. The shock had her blinking at the wood before she shrugged and handled her business. She could hear them talking but not what was being said and they weren't beating down the door yet so she opted to clean and bandage her cuts. They weren't bad and had no risk of infection, she wasn't stupid, so she just used and alcohol wipe and slapped a large bandaid on the area then used a sports wrap for good measure before sliding her (Jason's) boxers back on and washing her hands. There was no longer talking in the other room. She opened the door and pumped some lotion onto her dry hands, she hated touching door handles with anything on her hands, and headed into the room while she rubbed the lemon scented lovelyness in.
"So, my pancakes," she asked with a head tilt and a few toe taps. Both men were on the bed and looked at her with slightly unequal fondness. Jason with heart eyes and Dick with older brother love. Jason made grabby hands at her.
"Hugs first," he demanded with a pout," Dickibird had you all night." She rolled her eyes but allowed herself to be pulled down onto his leg his arms coming around her and his face getting buried into her neck. He sniffed before pulling her hand up to his face and inhaling deeply.
"Weirdo, it's just lemon," she chided but didn't take her hand back.
"Smells like sugar."
"Dick tell your brother to stop sniffing me."
"Uh uh, nope, he's your responsibility now, remember to feed and water him," Dick said hopping off the bed and ditching.
"That true," she asked Jay carding her free hand through his hair," or can you feed and water yourself." The tone was light with an underlying seriousness. He could have gotten hurt on patrol of wherever the hell he had gone and he wouldn't ever tell her, the hypocrite.
"Might need some water every once in a while," he said softly.
"Need some now?"
"Yeah," he said on a sigh.
"Where?"
"Ma shoulder." She hummed and gently rolled the sleeve of his t-shirt up to examine his left. Nothing. On to the right and yep there was brushing.
"D'ya pop it back in?"
"Didn' pop out, just hit a wall too hard swingin'."
Not taking his word for it she gently poked and prodded to be sure and was sickened when he didn't so much as shudder in pain. She crossed her fingers it was the pit healing and he hadn't taken too much of something. Satisfied it was only really bad bruising she gave the area a kiss and rolled his sleeve back down.
"All better," he said with a smile. And so was born the code water, not the best but it was more an inside joke than anything.
"I uh, got my own water but you can check if you want," she said tapping her own thigh.
"Dickie check 'em?"
"No, said he trusted me to clean them."
"Good 'nough for me."
"Are you using your accent more on purpose?"
"Why, don't like it?"
"Love it," she said getting a fist full of his hair to guide his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and slow even with her fingers tangled in his scalp and his own on her back and hip. The dreamy eyed look he gave her when she ran out of air had her stomach rolling with guilt from her relapse and she dropped her head to his chest unable to maintain eye contact.
"Can I have my pancakes now?" It was a small request, one she didn't even truly mean but he saw it for what it was, she wanted out of her room on her terms, not dragged out and forced to socialize against her will.
"Yeah, 'm sure Dick told Alf." He went to stand with her in his arms but she squeaked and wiggled to floor before he could.
"Your shoulder," she tisked at him gently, opting to hold his hand instead and lead him out of the room.
"Yes mom."
"Want me to bend you over my knee," she asked looking at him with the most innocent eyes. He shuddered and she smirked.
"None of that for a long time," he said bumping his hip into her.
"Thanks," she said bumping him back. She could tease all day but they'd already agreed to wait, she got sick just thinking about taking her clothes off for someone and he said that was fine. Of course her brain didn't believe that. the dude lied and went off to kill the joker without her. She knew he's had...relations, since coming back from the dead. Knew he was familiar with his body and how to use it in a way she envied. She wasn't blind, he was hot, pitfire hot, and he was a drug lord and he frequented bars and she really shouldn't have been surprised the first time she saw him leave with girl way prettier than her, and it shouldn't have hurt the second time. The third sent her sprinting for a place to empty her stomach and she couldn't eat for two days after, picturing the girls trim waist and ignoring her own which was well muscled and she would have loved on anyone but herself. The fourth time she watched him take a girl home she laid into her flesh with a blade like she hadn't in years and-
"-oll, sweetheart, babydoll, honeypumpkin, Y/n!" Oh that was Jason.
"Huh," she asked dumbly her eyes unfocused and breathing painful now that she thought about it.
"Deep breath, we got pancaked to eat," he demanded holding her hand to his chest and taking overly dramatic breaths. She blinked at him and realized with complete and all consuming self hatred they were in the kitchen and their were too many eyes on her and she was too hot and her skin itched and her eyes burned and head hurt and she needed out. Out of her own skin and away from them and-
"-p, stop, please be careful." It was Jason again that much she knew, but she wasn't sure what he wanted her to stop doing, she was just scratching her arms in panic and...oh, she realized her fingers felt cool and a glance down showed blood.
"Huh," she mummbled again, still blinking too fast, or was it too slow?
He was holding both her hands to his chest again and she could feel the rise and fall it felt the same as he own so she couldn't understand why he was talking about deep breaths. She was breathing which she apparently said out loud because a reply came from behind her.
"No you're not, kid come on in and out." The new voice pulled her back tight against a firm chest and the smell of lavender made her head hurt more. Dick.
"C'n't, m head. Sm'l, s'too strong," the last word the clearest as she forced it past her aching lungs and huh guess she wasn't breathing. He vision swam as Dick was replaced with someone not wearing too much lavender hair gel but this someone was shorter. Her height ish but the chest was still firm and the arms around her toned.
"You're gonna pass out." Oh, that was Tim.
"T'm?"
"Yep, that's me I'm here, come on you nerd just breathe, if you pass out I'm eating every pancake and waffle."
Right pancakes. She could smell them now, along with different versions of sugary syrup and fruit. She focused on the smell of fake strawberries, and pictured the red syrup-nope, nope, nothing red, that makes her vision swim more. Blueberries, she could think of blueberries, not her favorite syrup flavor but doable, if Damian didn't eat it all, he loved his fruit. She hoped he wasn't here to see this. The smells got stronger as she was moved further into the room and she tried to reach for the bottles she could see to her left. She was in Bruce's lap, she realized Jason crouched in front of her and her wrists still in his grasp. Damnit, she wanted the syrup. She wanted her pancakes. At least she could see them now, her vision returning and ears not ringing as loud. Her chest hurt but she was taking easier breathes and she looked around to get her bearings. Dick was on the other side of the kitchen washing his hair out in the sink while Alfred helped. She was still sitting in Bruce's lap, Tim was gently wiping her forearms, Jason was sitting now, still holding her hands but less from. Damian was crying two seats over, and-wait, Damian was crying two seats over!
"Dami," she croaked clearing her throat to try again. "Dami, I'm ok now, promise." She knew she looked like shit and it made the statement all but useless. He ran from the room followed quickly by Alfred. Dick took the seat next to her.
"That sucked," she said head drooping onto her adopted father's shoulder against her will. She was still pissed at him, but she was so tired.
"What triggered it," Jason asked with concealed panic. Right she'd probably made him blame himself. And given him a heart attack. She didn't answer just closed her eyes and took gloriously easy breathes.
"Sorry, I forgot you don't like lavender," Dick said. He had a dish towel around his shoulders catching the water droplets from his sink bath.
"Gives me a headache,' she supplied giving him a thumbs up.
"I'll toss it."
She gave another less stable thumbs up and forced herself to sit up straight.
"Can I have my pancakes now?" They all jumped to say no, afraid she might not keep them down but Bruce beat them to it readjusting her like she was still a kid and fed her from his plate. He got syrup on her shirt, just a drop, but she hated being dirty in her pj's and her hands clenched and un-clenched nervously at her side making the next few bites hard to swallow. Half a pancake later she felt human, aside from the syrup drop taunting her, the other had moved away to their seats to taking slow bites of their own food. Jason looked like hell and she knew she couldn't explain why she'd had her freak out.
"Has this happened before," Bruce asked, eating after she'd shook her head at another bite.
"I don't think so, but it could have. Sometimes I space out, but it's never lasted so long. Never in the field," she was quick to say.
"What brought it on," Jason tried again, and the look in his made the pancakes roll in the stomach.
"Can I have some water," she asked in reply. He looked torn, but grabbed a bottle from the fridge and set it in front of his chair. She tilted her head at him but he ignored the look and took her from Bruce to have in his own lap. She flinched when he sat and her mind started up again calling her overweight, saying she would hurt his leg. He held her to one side and grabbed the water before she could reach for it. She took it from him and tried to twist the cap, but her hands weren't working yet, the girl strength in her fingers gone. She grew frustrated the longer she tried. Her jaw ticked and she was seconds from throwing it in a fit when Jason took pity and opened it, going so far as to hold it to her lips. Her family treating her like a child and passing her around the table was pissing her off but she didn't fight him and took slow sips until he seemed pleased and set it on the table. She didn't dare pick it up, she'd probably spill it.
She fished her phone out of Jason's pocket where she knew it to be so she could check the time but he snatched it back before she could even push the button.
"Hey," she grumbled. He slid it to Dick who pocketed the device.
"Not till you talk, what made you-"
"Freak out like a weirdo?"
"Have a physical reaction to a mental problem you need help with." She snorted at his phrasing. She was fading into sleep again, the sugar keeping her lucid this long, but she fought to keep her eyes open and on his.
"Wanna tell me and not these losers," Tim asked over his cup of coffee. "It's decaf," he lied when she squinted at the mug.
"I...think I wanna talk to Alfred," she said gently, testing the waters.
"Ok, that's ok, s'long as you talk to somebody," Jason said grabbing one of her hands where she'd started to pick her cuticles.
"But not till he's done with Damian, poor kid shouldn't have to keep seeing what a fuck up I am."
"Don't say that," Bruce chided.
"The kid found me in a pink tub."
"Which is fucked, I'll agree but it made us pay attention to something we should have seen long ago. Some detectives we are," Dick said still shoving his face with pancakes. She wondered not for the first time where he put it, dude was fit, and ate like a horse. She couldn't so much as smell sugar without feeling it go to her waist.
"How do you do that," she said then smacked her free hand over her mouth. Oops, that was an inside thought, guess a tired y/n is an honest one.
"Do what," he asked, tilting his head like the massive puppy he is. Jason gently pried her hand down.
"Eat so much and not get fat?"
"So much. Kid I've done the calculations, with what I burn nearly every night I eat perfectly if not under what I should." His head tilted the other way, stupid puppy eyes.
"But..." She couldn't think of a way to phrase it to make them understand, stupid men and their stupid better metabolism.
"Sweetheart, how many calories do you eat in a day?"
"Two-thousand-one-hundred. Ten carbs, no less than a hundred grams of protein, and whatever fiber is in my protein shake," she said automatically. She didn't have a problem, she ate fine, she ate just right for her job. She was careful. Didn't stop the voices in her head from shouting every time she passed a mirror though.
"That's...specific," Dick said with uncertainty.
"Do you keep a journal," Bruce asked clearing plates.
"A feeling journal, no."
"I meant a food journal."
"Oh, yeah, nothing weird about that plenty of people have one," she jumped to defend herself. She was so tired and they just wouldn't let her be, she wanted to curl into her boyfriend, heh boyfriend, and sleep for days. Distantly she knew that wasn't a good thought.
"Yes they do, and there's nothing wrong with it just wondered if you would mind sharing it."
"No," she said without hesitation.
"We just wanna make sure you're ok," Tim said gently.
"I just wanna go to sleep. I'm tired from my freak out, please can I take a nap in the library or something," she whined using her own puppy eyes on Jason. He sighed and finished his coffee like a shot then eased her off his lap to stand.
'Want me to carry you," Dick asked, knowing about his brothers bruised shoulder.
"I've been tossed around like a toddler enough for now, thank you."
10-16-24
@stormz369
#dc comics#jason todd#batfam#batman#dick grayson#bruce wayne#dc universe#dcu#angst#jason todd x oc#tw depressing thoughts#tw selfhate#tw depressing stuff#tw eating issues#self h@rm#anxitey#light angst#angst with a happy ending#one shot#redhood#nightwing#batfam x reader#batfam x batsis#batfam x you#batfam x y/n
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(sooo thought I should probably masterlist these so here you go, have fuuun) nsfw in red, pg-13 in ourple
I'm also on ao3!
Dragon Age fics
It Happened Quiet - (a short slutty lucanis x f! rook drabble)
idk what to call this series yet (I'm updating it on ao3 now ❤️)
Please Be Rude - short and indulgent introduction to my rook and lucanis' dynamic. written pre-release so forgive ooc or contradictions. part one. lol. lmao even
House of Self-Undoing - After they came to an agreement to be bound to one another, Lucanis invites his deadly charge out for coffee...
Leave the Bodies Where They Lay - After receiving the gift of her touch, Lucanis finds himself raw with regret. And with another mourn watcher joining their ranks, Rook must endure her rage at being turned away from her home...
The Bear and The Dove (lavellan x blackwall, ANGST, slowburn, smut, completed (?) series)
The Wolf - Waking in a prison, Lavellan finds herself the captive, then leader, of a force trying to close a rift in the sky. Recruiting a gruff dark stranger in her journey...
The Raven - After her estranged clan contacts her, Vella loses her composure when the Chancellor spews hate at her. But her guard dog is all too happy to bite...
The Lamb - The rift set to be closed once and for all, Vella hopes to spend one last night in his arms. The world set to crash down around them, she must finally sleep...
The Sparrow - In her purgatory of snow, Vella tries to reach somewhere shaped like home. Her love and her cause lost to her, a voice guides her forward...
The Hound - Finally reaching Skyhold, Vella reaches her breaking point after Blackwall pulls and pushes her away again. Anger flaring hot into him when he comes to darken her balcony...
The Swan - Following the anger Vella had burned into him, and her silent forgiveness, Blackwall seeks her out to ask for something shaped like atonement. And to maybe, selfishly, hope for something more...
The Spider - Fallen through a rift, then back into the world, Vella finds herself wracked with grief. Her love there to catch her, and unravel some long held grief of his own...
The Halla - Reunited with a Dalish clan, Vella hopes to help any way she can. And, returned to the soft of his bed, hopes her love will let her help him as well...
The Dove - Using the full force of her foresight and the strife within decisions made, Celene's Grand Ball proves to be bloodstained and venomous. Leaving Vella exhausted to old and new injuries, tenderly caught by his soft love...
The Mockingbird - Chasing after the trail of her runaway love, Vella is forced to see his crimes firsthand...
The Phoenix - The trial to judge her lost love upon her, she must make two heavy choices with new eyes that will change everything...
The Fox - Still on the tender outskirts of her love, Blackwall struggles with regaining her full favor as they must venture to a monumental decision in the Arbor Wilds...
The Rabbit - The battle for all of Thedas nearly drawn to their door, Vella and her bear share an urgent night of passion before it all falls around them...
Monster Fucker fics
Bones of Ribbon - Headlights had been a consistent bother in her new home. On a rainy night, she had enough. Assuming an inconsiderate neighbor, she discovered something far different on the street below...
Tongues and Teeth - When her monster comes to her again, Merricat learns more about them. And as they are comforted in her, are drawn ever closer...
You've Seen The Butcher - Fate conspires to put Merricat in the path of Blackwood's hunger. To feed their need and their desire, and the intertwining of both, she opens herself to them...
Oneshots
Devourer - (astarion x f! reader) Your beloved vampire has gotten very comfortable with you. But you wonder of he's been holding back some of his more supernatural tendencies...
Bloodlust - (astarion x f! tav) Tav invites her bloodthirsty friend out for some late night reconnaissance, both of their cravings being fed...
Lay on Hands - (astarion x f! tav) In the early hours of the morning someone cant keep their hands to themselves...
Pulling Strings - (astarion x f! tav) Tav has caught on that her favorite vampire doesn't enjoy touching or being touched by others. But she has a suggestion to possibly help that piques his interest...
Satiated - (astarion x f! dark urge) With Astarion starving in the Underdark his bloodthirsty friend sees his hunger, knows it quite well. And with a promised death in their future, seeks to help him sate himself...
Cold Comfort - (astarion x f! dark urge) Finally reaching Moonrise Towers, she finds her urge overtaking her, taking an innocent life. Astarion seeks to keep her company through the long night...
Heavy Metal Lover - (karlach x f! tav) With her touch newly returned, Karlach is hungry for contact. Seeking out Tav for a little hand to hand combat that quickly turns heated...
What Lies Between - (gale x f! tav) After a magical misfire, Tav and Gale are trapped tight between stone. Weeks of sexual tension between sorcerer and wizard come to a head...
Possession - (gale x f! tav) With natural challenge and charge between them and a misstep at connection, an unexpected competitor appears in camp. Things must come to a burning head between sorcerer and wizard...
Night Wandering - (gale x f! tav) After Tav's little magic lesson from her favorite wizard and the heat momentarily shared between them, she's feeling pent up. If only his tent wasn't directly next to hers...
Black Out Days - (gale x f! tav) Tav's pain rising to an unbearable level, she indulges in some found herbs to find relief. But her sanctuary is laced with some heated side effects...
Supine Bound - (gale x f! tav) With Tav believing she's crossed a boundary of intimacy twice with Gale, she invites the wizard to get some retribution...
Warm Company (halsin x f! tav) With her crush on the vampire tearing her heart, a large kind druid seeks to make her feel wanted...
You Know Me Too Well (gortash x f! dark urge) After the coronation, she can't get the familiarity he showed her out of her mind. She needs answers, and the Archduke is more than happy to indulge her...
Eyes on Fire (gortash x f! dark urge) The visage of the Archduke won't leave her, and itching for blood, his favorite assassin is about to pay the Lord a very welcome visit...
North Star (kar'niss x f! tav) Finding a drider in the darkness, Tav offers for him to join her party. The safety and clarity he receives in her presence and her surprising admiration spurn his many legs to move much nearer...
Miniseries
When The Night Is Over - (1/2) Tav was no stranger to vampiric hunger and found her new companion in the throes of it. He held tightly to his mask, but her offer to guide him could crumble it...
Even If It Bleeds - (2/2) When a hunter threatens one of her own, Tav urges Astarion to take matters into his own hands. Further encouraging him to seek out his own needs, his own desire...
-
Pillow Talk (1/2) Tav innocently offered to help Astarion with his morning routine. But things get very close, and Astarion is shocked how her sweet face belies the sinful mouth she has...
Lover, Please Stay (2/2) Tav keeping him at arms length, Astarion makes a plan to woo her back into his good graces. But his hunger, for her and her blood, proves distracting...
-
Warm Water (gale x f! tav) 1/3 With one of Tav's love languages being physical affection, Gale tries to keep his touch hungry skin from her. The sirens call of her arms could overwhelm him, but he's far from the only one heeding her soft song...
Warm Honey (gale / halsin x f! tav) 2/3 Both druid and wizard seeking out her warmth, Gale makes a plan to win her affections. Yet both scent and sound could conspire to be his undoing...
Warm Blood (gale / astarion x f! tav) 3/3 With a sanguine competitor now circling with the large druid, Gale can no longer put off his advances...
-
Girl Talk - (1/4) One late night Astarion turned their conversation to a more sensual topic and was delighted to discover Tav lacked experience with men. Naturally he was more than happy to lend a hand...
It Will Come Back - (2/4) Their shared night has been tormenting him, after staking his claim he found himself needing to be near her. And after a night of drinking, seeing her with someone else, he had to have her again...
Heat Signature - (karlach x tav, 3/4) After nearly freezing to death Tav needs Karlach near. Very near, it seems...
Unpunishable - (4/4) After Karlach spent the night with Tav, Astarion is feeling very normal about it. So normal that he needs her in his tent all night. Just to feed, he swears...
The Tav in question... (for reference)
Child Of Dawn series
(gale x f! tav, slow burn, completed)
Nightcall
Non Believer
Dream Girl Evil
Let Me Follow
To Build A Home
Bedroom Hymns
Listen Before I Go
Many Hands
Faith Consuming Hope
A Hole In the Earth
Keep the Rain
What The Water Gave Me
the girlypop... (aurum, my tav)
Gale and Aurum, Bad Ending (pain!)
Prayer Factory - (gale x f! tav, named) Aurum steels herself to face her old demons at the temple, with her love at her side. But the adrenaline of confrontation leaves her coiled, and a wizard very eager to take her wrath...
Gold Satin Dreamer - (gale x f! tav, named) Inviting his radiant wife to give a presentation at Blackstaff, Gale notices the longing gaze of his less than friendly colleague...
Hard Times - (gale x f! tav, named) After a venomous spat with Gale, Aurum finds herself in the prison of her dreams again. But with several pairs of hands cradling her, she doesn't have to weather it alone. And, perhaps, find her own vindication in the aftermath...
Nose to the Grindstone - (gale x f! tav, named) Aurum and Gale fucking in the dirt. They were left alone at camp, it's not their fault. Smh.
Exhale Inhale - (gale x f! tav, named) After Aurum took a hard hit in battle, Gale blames himself for a break in his concentration. Requesting they practice something a little rough for him to hone his skills...
House of the Rising Sun - (halsin x f! tav, named) After Gale received the Annuls of Karsus, and the subsequent break of Aurum's heart, she cannot shake the lingering betrayal. Driving her to the strong shoulder and warm arms of another...
AA Break Up Series
(ascended astarion x f! tav, drama and smut, completed)
We The Drowned
Take Me Back To Eden (shadowheart × f! tav)
Like Real People Do (halsin x f! tav)
I Should Hate You
Chokehold
What Kind Of Man (gale x f! tav)
Seven Devils
All I Wanted
The Moon Will Sing
Strawberry Wine (gale x f! tav)
As It Was
Astarion x Dark Urge
(astarion x f! durge, tenderness and smut, completed)
Dark Signs
Bite The Hand
Prey Drive
A Dangerous Thing
My Love Is A Dagger
Bloodcall
Little Miss Murder herself (my durge)
Distance
(astarion x f! plus fized tav, tenderness and smut, completed NOTE: these are old as hell lol)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
First Light (Prologue)
The Drow (indulgent prologue chapter)
My Portrait of Tav (I do be drawing..)
Tav Headcanons (being indulgent)
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Your blog is the highlight of my day, I'm really impressed <3
Could you maybe write something more about what happened after that oneshot where the reader wants to stay up with law but falls asleep while doing it and then law laying in bed with them?
I love the slow burn that is happening there
Aah, thank-you!! I do my best and I'm just glad my hyperfixation has an audience that enjoys it ehe 💖 but absolutely!! I hope that this is to your liking!! I also couldn't help myself w adding the 'it's rotten work' 'not to me. Not if it's you'
[In reference to this]
[Heads up!: mutual pining, some angst, hurt/comfort]
There are three reasons you know that you're not in your own bed when you wake up. One, you're warmer than you ever are, blanket usually kicked off of you in some way or another. The second that there are no sounds of the bunkhouse ㅡ no soft snores or sleepy murmurs, the creak of someone moving in their sleep. And the third?
That Law is asleep right next to you.
It takes a minute to register, your cheeks warming. You'd fallen asleep despite trying your best not to, you know that much ㅡ and that for whatever reason, Law had seen fit to simply let you sleep in his bed.
It's inappropriate, you know. A severe breach of what should be between captain and crewmate ㅡ but staring at him, all you can think of is what could be.
You let yourself admire him for a little longer before you turn your attention to getting up, knowing that your other crewmates will be moving around soon and the last thing you need is them assuming things if you wait too long to come out of Law's room.
You're not sure how you manage to get free without disturbing Law but you do, glancing towards the mugs you'd brought in with you and move to collect them.
"Thanks for the tea last night." Law's voice makes you jolt, barely avoiding dropping one of the mugs as you turn to find him sitting up and watching you.
"Oh," you say, "right, no problem." Curse your wretched heart for doing gymnastics at how cute he is, hair sleep-mussed and expression drowsy. It sharpens, however, as his gaze flicks over you and then to the door.
"About this," he begins, "we won't be making a habit of this. It's for the best if this never happens again."
Your heart sinks. You know that it's for the best, that the idea of entertaining anything but is only going to hurt ㅡ and hurt it does, twisting a proverbial knife into your chest.
There's the rising want to cry, one that you shove down as deep as you can, shoving down your feelings.
"Yes," you say, now heading for the door with the tray and things in hand. "You're absolutely right. It's for the best."
ㅡ
You take to avoiding him. You make it an art ㅡ not so much so as to make it obvious that it's him that you're avoiding in particular, but enough to make it plausible as to why you're never around him.
And it's driving Law crazy. The Polar Tang is only so big, there are only so many places you can duck into before he notices, so many people you can so conveniently manage to be deep in conversation with when he passes, indifferent to his presence ㅡ but you still manage it.
It's frustrating, too. He knows that he hurt you with what he said, a proverbial slap to the face of your kindness, your efforts to put him at ease. He also isn't dumb, he's noticed your lingering looks, the previous excuses to be around him.
Were he someone else, he'd let you know that he reciprocates your feelings. Even as he is, he knows he does ㅡ but he can't act on it. He won't drag you down with him when it all inevitably blows up in his face, won't force you to suffer the same fate as him. You deserve more, and you deserve better.
But your behavior still hurts. The things that you do are made the clearer in the absence them, and he misses them. He misses you.
There's only so much that Law can take of this new routine that you've slipped into ㅡ which is why he comes up with a plan.
ㅡ
Avoiding Law is getting exhausting. Quite literally, as you've gotten into the routine of waiting until almost everyone has retired for the night, him included. It's childish yes, but you're determined to do it until your feelings for him ebb enough that you can go back to the way you were ㅡ as unlikely as that is.
Stifling a yawn, you trudge towards the bunkhouse, intent on getting as good of sleep as you can, only to have a hand curl around your upper arm and yank you away before you can react. You're dragged into a different room and when the door shuts, you wheel on your pseudo-kidnapper.
"What is your problem?"
Unbothered by your tone, Law simply stares at you, expression unreadable. "I need to talk to you."
You frown. "So talk to me like a normal person, not kidnap me."
"I didn't kidnap you," Law counters, "and it's hard to talk to someone when they're avoiding you."
You want to lie and say that you haven't been, but the look Law gives you makes you quiet before you realizes where you are.
His room. Again.
"Look. I realize that how I said things the other day wasn't the best way to put it." Law rubs his neck, trying to find the best way to articulate his words.
Figuring that it'll be easier to sever whatever you have with him all together now rather than continue to suffer, you look up and speak with a steadiness that surprises you. "I love you."
Law's eyes snap to yours, elation and dread clashing. "You can't." Before you can protest, he continues. "Not only am I your captain, but we're pirates. We don't have time for things like this, and I don't have time to entertain how you think you feelㅡ"
"How I think I feel?" Your tone is calm. "Last time I checked, I'm the one who should know best how I feel, Law." He opens his mouth, and you hold a hand up to silence him. "I'm not going to deign the rest of that with a response, because we both know that's bullshit." You pause. "Well, besides the part about you being my captain. You are, and I love you. I'm not expecting you to love me back."
A muscle in his jaw jumps. "You shouldn't."
"I know."
He steps towards you, reaching to tug you to him. "That's dangerous."
You press into him. "I know that too. We're pirates, remember? Danger is our middle name."
His arms wind around you, hand cradling the back of your head. "It's rotten work," he whispers, thinking of Corazon and his parents, his sister. "Loving me."
"Not to me," comes your response, muffled into his chest, the steady thump that your own echoes. You pretend not to notice that it's beating as hard as yours is. "Not if it's you."
Law feels something in him crack, splintering into glittering spiderweb fissures. "You're staying here tonight," he says, feels the shudder of your laughter against him.
"Is that an order, captain?"
"Yes."
ㅡ
Blankets over you both, Law still allows himself to reach for you, let your legs tangle with his, lose the dark tattoos of his knuckles in your hair. "Say it again."
You don't need to ask what he means, kissing the front of his shoulder. "I love you."
His lips brush the top of your head. "Again."
"I love you."
He kisses your forehead. "Again."
"I love you."
By the time Law kisses you properly, he thinks you'll get tired of saying it, because he can't say it back. Not yet. But the way you kiss him back says that you do, and that you don't mind.
You're patient, and you can wait.
#ㅡmine.#one piece x reader#one piece scenario#trafalgar law x reader#law x reader#ㅡanswered.#–ml: law.
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School Girl Crush Pt 1
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5| A new BAU member appears and Spencer sees her as a little threat to his status of boy genius. Being unable to get comfortable with each other causes some issues within the team. Will they be able to move past it and work together?
Spencer Reid x FemBau!OC
Moving to the US was daunting. Coming from a smaller English town hadn't prepared me for the move. At only 23, I was joining the FBI. It was a dream of mine to catch murderers and profile serial killers so when I was put forward, I couldn't contain my excitement.
I first arrived at the start of the month and now, 2 weeks later, I was entering the FBI office in Quantico, Virginia. This morning, I had a big panic about what to wear. I settled on black trousers and a white button up blouse. My satchel held everything I would need. My hands held the strap tightly as I stood in the lift, making my way up to my dream job. I watched the numbers go up as I got closer and closer to my floor. My nerves were in full force as I chewed my lip out of habit.
The lift dinged, signaling my arrival. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the corridor. People bustled around me as I just stood there. The clack of heels echoed around me as I became conscious of my heavy combat boots, hidden mostly by my long trousers. The glow of florescent lights added to the intimidating feeling. Long, white hallways with many doors and framed photos of Agents killed in action. My British upbringing became very obvious as I became aware of how many guns were around me. Almost every single person had one on them. I had my own gun tucked in the holster as my side. Learning to shoot hadn't been very difficult and I gained my license to carry within a few weeks of accepting the position. It wasn't like I had no experience, I had worked with the NCA for years and knew a lot about chasing down dangerous criminals.
While preparing for the role, I had been in frequent contact with SSA Hotchner. He was my new boss so it was him I was meant to find first. A little intimidated by the agents around me, I kept my head down, letting my hair hide my face. In the center of the floor was a bullpen with a number of desks. Agent Hotchner was in charge so he would most likely have an office, with this in mind I walked towards the small set of stairs. I didn't want to ask for directions, my stubbornness was to blame for that. I felt some eyes on me as I ascended the stairs. Not wanting to be stared at, I quickly scanned the doors and spotted the one labelled SSA Aaron Hotchner. With one hand I knocked against the door and with the other I straightened my blouse. "Come in." Breathe.
I push the door open. Inside the office was larger than I expected. A large wooden desk was the main focus of the room. My eyes found Agent Hotchner sat behind the desk, stacks of paperwork surrounding him. He was a serious man, his hair was dark and his suit was neat. I felt the need to impress him, to make him proud of me. He looked up at me, placing his pen down and turning all his attention to me. "Agent Hotchner?" Why do I ask stupid questions? This man was sat in the office labelled with that name, sat at a desk with a plaque and I was asking if it was him. Sometimes I don't feel as smart as I should. "Yes. Agent Colesta I assume." As I nodded my head he rose from his seat, walking towards me. His hand extended. With as much confidence as I could muster, I shook his hand firmly.
Agent Hotchner wanted to ask me some questions and update me on everything I needed to know. We sat across the desk from each other. My leg bounced as I realised how important this was. He needed to believe in my abilities. "How are you settling in?" He didn't look up at me as he searched through one of his drawers. "Its definitely a change but I'm doing pretty well." A small hum was the only response I got as he lay a folder on the wood. My folder. I could see my name printed on the front. Lyn Colesta. I tensed as he opened it, revealing everything about me compressed onto a mere few pieces of paper.
Over the next hour, Agent Hotchner asked me questions and allowed me to ask some back. In that time, I became less nervous of his stoic demeanor. "That is all of my questions. Do you have anything else you would like to know?" I thought for a moment, running a mental check. "I don't think so. Thank you Agent Hotchner." I gave a small smile to the older man. "Most members of the team call me Hotch. It is up to you but that's the norm here." Nodding, I knew it would take a while for me to get comfortable using a nickname.
Agent Hotchner stood from his desk, leading me to do the same. Without saying a word, we exited his office and walked down the stairs to the bullpen. I became very conscious of the small group of agents at one of the desks, staring at the two of us. Unfortunately for me, Agent Hotchner led us towards them. The members of the BAU. My need for a good impression wiped my nervous fidgeting from my body and replaced it with a confident expression. As we neared the group their conversation slowed to a halt, showing they were probably discussing the strange girl who had been with their boss for some time.
Hotchner made some conversation with a blonde woman. I took this time to examine each of them. Closest to me was a tall, dark skinned man. He was perched on the side of the desk, mug in hand. He was quite muscular and by him demeanor, I could tell he was confident in his physical capabilities. There was an uncertain look in his eye as he looked at me which showed he wasn't easily accepting of new people. I would have to earn his trust. I love a challenge. The desk clearly belonged to the dark haired woman sat on the chair. She held herself with propriety, more than most, which showed she had an important role at some point. I had a feeling I would get along well with her as there was a hint of mischief on her face as she smirked. Then there was the woman talking to Agent Hotchner. It was clear she had a fairly important place around her because of the way Hotchner was listening intently to every word she said. She seemed like a kind hearted woman but also someone that I shouldn't cross. I made a mental note of all my observations.
"This is Agent Colesta. She will be joining the unit." Agent Hotchner gestured to me, bringing all sets of eyes to me. Resisting the urge to shrink under their gazes, I gave a friendly smile and a small wave. Thankfully, each of them returned my smile, settling my nerves a little more. "Its nice to meet you. I'm Lyn." My meek attitude creeping out as I greeted them. "Derek Morgan." The man gave me a sly smirk as he reached out to shake my hand. I gladly shook his hand. I turned to the dark haired woman. "Emily Prentiss." She didn't make a move to shake my hand, opting for a small nod. " Jennifer Jareau. But you can call me JJ." Now, JJ did go for an handshake. Normally I wasn't a huge fan of shaking hands, especially with strangers but I knew I needed to make a good first impression.
Agent Hotchners cell phone began to ring in his pocket, causing a groan to erupt from Agent Prentiss. "Hotchner." He answered instantly, opting to walk away from the small group to take the call in private. I was left with my new colleagues. Suck it up Lyn. Time to schmooze them off their feet. "I was under the impression that there was more of you." I feigned a puzzled expression as I spoke to them. Agent Morgan chuckled slightly. "Yeah, there is. Rossi's somewhere around here and Reid will be here in about 10 minutes." I nodded, remembering those new names for later.
Agents Jareau and Morgan excused themselves, walking over to their respective desks. I was a little unsure what to do. I didn't know where my desk was and hadn't been given any orders so I just stood by Agent Prentiss's desk. "You know, you could go meet Garcia. I'm sure she'd love to meet you and would really appreciate you going to her." Clearly I looked confused at the new person added to the mix. "Derek forgot to mention her before. She's our tech analyst. Her office is up there, right at the end of the hall." My eyes followed where Agent Prentiss had pointed. "Thanks for the advice." I was truly grateful. I needed all the friends I could get. Bidding her goodbye, I walked in the direction she said.
The hallway was fairly long and a little darker than the rest of the floor. I almost gave up when I finally spotted the last door. I had no clue how this Garcia would be. She could be completely horrible. Despite my hesitations, I knocked on the door. Some frantic shuffling could be heard on the other side as I waited patiently. After a few long seconds the door is pulled open. This woman was dressed in a bright pink cardigan, and white pencil skirt. Her blonde hair was in pigtails and on her face was a pair of statement glasses. Her eyes widened as she saw me. "Hello, are you Garcia?" She continued to stare at me before nodding aggressively. Still, she didn't say a word. "I'm Lyn. I just joined the unit." I gave an uncertain smile. Somehow, her eyes widened even more. A wide smile broke out on her face as she pulled the door wider and let me in. The office reflected her perfectly. There were little toys and knickknacks scattered about. Fuzzy topped pencils sat in a bedazzled pencil pot on the desk.
"You're Agent Colesta?" I hadn't told her my last name, but I nodded. Before it can register, Garcia pulls me into a hug which I halfheartedly reciprocate. "I'm Penelope." Penelope. I knew she wasn't an agent, she didn't carry herself like one and was much too positive to be one. "It's good to meet you, Penelope." I had a feeling we could be friends. "And you're British." Her excited squeal seemed strange to me. What's so exciting about being British?
Penelope and I spent sometime chatting. More like her talking and me nodding or giving a short response. She gave me a brief run down of everything going on around her. It was actually very helpful. Apparently her and Agent Morgan were the flirty two in the unit. She only mentioned it to reassure me if I heard any of their conversations which can get quite 'graphic' according to her. Agent Rossi was a famous author. I knew I recognised that name, I'd read his books on serial killers and the psychology behind their actions. Dr Reid was the genius of the team with an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187. That was actually quite impressive. Garcia told me that he didn't like physical contact and loved to spurt random facts at any given time. Dr Reid was only 8 months older than me according to Garcia. Hold on. I never told her my birthday. "How do you know that?" I was getting a little suspicious of this bubbly woman. Her demeanor turned sheepish. "I looked through your file." My mouth fell open as she spoke. "I'm sorry but I just got curious."
This, of course, led to me asking questions about what she can access. I was then shown through Garcia's set up. It was extremely impressive, she could access almost anything from her little office. I think I might have fallen in love with her when she pulled up the cameras from the bullpen and showed me a clip from a few weeks ago. The clip was from a late night in the office and showed Agent Prentiss tripping over a bin and then she just didn't move for a few minutes. It was pretty funny. I was glad Agent Prentiss had advised me to introduce myself to Garcia. Talking with her had relaxed me and I felt prepared to start my new job simply because of her being there.
A ping came from Garcia's system and she immediately spun in her chair to see what it was. "We have a case. To the roundtable we go." Her wording amused me. I stood by the door, watching Garcia rush around, grabbing files and other various things from around her office. Deciding she didn't have enough arms, Garcia handed me a few things off her pile and started out of the office and down the hallway. I froze for a second but quickly rushed after her. She walked quickly. The clicking of her kitten heels filled the silence of the empty space. It took a bit of effort to keep walking beside her.
The roundtable, as Garcia called it, was on the same level as Agent Hotchners office. It seemed like most of the unit was already there. From a distance I could count 5 heads and could see Agent Jareau stood at the front of the room. Agent Morgan and Agent Prentiss were easy to recognise. Agent Hotchners dark hair caught my eye as he sat closest to where Agent Jareau stood. The 2 remaining people had to be Agent Rossi and Dr Reid. Smile. Make a good impression.
As we entered the room, Garcia greeted the group, recieving a few greetings in return. "Good morning baby girl." So that's what she meant. Noted. I was directed to the seat between Agent Prentiss and Garcia. "Before we get started, this is Agent Lyn Colesta. She is now a member of the team." My head shot up at the sound of my name. "Agent Colesta, this is Agent David Rossi." I smile to the man Agent Hotchner gestured to. "Nice to meet you." He seemed nice enough. I felt like a fangirl but kept it to myself, figuring he was fed up of people telling him they love his books. "And this, is Dr Spencer Reid." My eyes moved to the last person at the table. He was clearly my age, had longish brown hair and wore a cardigan. He intrigued me. Dr Reid gave me a small wave, which I copied.
Agent Jareau started her presentation about the case. I focused all my attention on the manila folder in front of me. This was the start of my dream. Everything was falling into place for me and I couldn't contain my excitement. Profiling wasn't new to me but the BAU, they were legends in the psychology world and getting to work with them was what I wanted to do with my life. Nothing would get in the way of my work now. My sole focus would now be on this job.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid#penelope garcia#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#emily prentiss#jenifer jareau#david rossi#criminal minds x oc#spencer reid x oc#orginal character#original female character
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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You’ve talked a little about ships before but mainly in the context of how that is connected with the/a specific Jedi. And also a bit about ships you don’t like
But in Star Wars as a whole what’s your favourite ship, which one do you think is the best, and which one do you think is the most compelling?
(I know that the answer to all three could be the same but for me personally there’s often little overlap in these things so ymmv)
Also which ship do you think has the most potential?
I'll assume that canon and fanon are both options here.
"My Favorite" is the easiest to answer, so I'll start there. I've made an entire fic rec list for it and made no secret of the fact that I really like Codywan. Star Wars wasn't a fandom I really did any shipping in when I first was introduced to it as a kid. It wasn't until I decided to get back into Star Wars a little as an adult that I was even introduced to the IDEA of Codywan as a ship, but once I discovered it, it had me absolutely hooked. I will admit that I have a hard time with reading Codywan fics these days and interacting with other Codywan shippers because I often end up feeling like my interpretation of the characters is very different than the norm and what I want from the relationship - the thing that makes it compelling to me - isn't the same as most other people who enjoy the ship. But it was my first Star Wars ship and I still really enjoy the version of Codywan that exists in my head, so it will continue to claim the title of favorite.
For "Most Compelling" and "The Best" I'm actually going to exclusively define those as being IN CANON because anything in fanon can be compelling depending on how well someone writes it. I could obviously put Codywan down for both of these categories, but it would specifically be MY version of Codywan, the version that only really exists in my own head, and not necessarily the more popular version of them in the fandom.
I'm going to give "The Best" and "Most Compelling" to Jyn and Cassian from Rogue One. I will readily admit that, as someone who identifies as aroace, the fact that Jyn and Cassian never do or say anything explicitly romantic to each other is a major part of the reason I like them. I also personally believe it's the reason they're so compelling. Without being able to use any of the usual narrative shortcuts that romance tends to provide, Jyn and Cassian's dynamic relies on actually showing the two of them connecting with each other on a deeper level. I love how so much of their relationship with each other exists only in their eyes, in the way that they look at each other (whether the other person is looking back or not). I love the way their relationship comes through in-between the lines rather than stated out loud. I love the subtlety that exists for Jyn and Cassian in a way it doesn't for pretty much any other more "canon" ship.
I have also said before (though I'm not entirely certain I did it on this blog or not) that I really like angst, usually in the form of hurt/comfort but a good tragedy sometimes just hits the spot. Jyn and Cassian living in a "maybe," existing in a perpetual "what could have been," is so fucking sweet to me. That shit hurts JUST RIGHT. I love the idea that these two people meant everything to each other but only in the last few days before they died and they never even got to explore what exactly that could be. Their love is shown in how they impacted each other, the ways their relationship changed each other, because that's all they ever had time for. I fucking love that shit. The ambiguity of Jyn and Cassian's relationship is what makes it the most compelling to me and I think that the fact that they never get together forced the writers to show us they loved each other in far more interesting and nuanced ways than usually exist for couples that more explicitly get together on screen.
And finally, my choice for "Most Potential" is FinnRey. I really liked Finn and Rey's dynamic in TFA, I liked the way they both learned to rely on each other when they'd never had anyone to rely on before, the way they were able to escape their respective prisons and take their first steps into a larger world together. I liked the theme of coming back for each other no matter what, of reaching out for each other so they couldn't be separated, and the idea of shared fate where they would become the hero of the story TOGETHER. Obviously we all know how that dynamic got sidelined and ignored after TFA, but both characters are still alive and definitely have more story to tell, so the potential remains. Whether that potential ever actually goes anywhere, even if it's just in things like novels and comics, is still super up in the air. But I think these two could have an incredible dynamic if anyone was willing to give them the time of day.
#star wars#codywan#commander cody#marshal commander cody#obi-wan kenobi#jyn erso#cassian andor#rogue one#rebelcaptain#finn star wars#rey skywalker#finnrey#runner-up for every single category is rex and zeb of course#my favorite traumatized old man ship of all time#and also my personal pool noodle rarepair ship
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