#so i hope im terribly wrong about this and it'll all go fine and i know i shouldnt care so much about gifts but also

[the-kipsabian]

merry crumbus or whatever

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~More incorrect quotes while I figure out my next fic revolving around my fav WTTT characters~

(Also, Y’all are amazing 🥲🤍✨)

=======================================================================

Gov: What are you planning to do? 
Florida: Hey, now. "Planning"?! Do you KNOW who you're talking to?!

============================================

York: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!! 
Mass: York- Bud-
Penn: It- it was just a rat-

============================================

Cali: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying? 
York: D*nm, if people did that to each other, Mass woulda killed me years ago.

============================================

Loui: Slash gamemode creative. 
Jersey: Dude, this isn't Min- 
Loui: *starts levitating*

Jersey:

Jersey: OI MASSHOLE COME GET YER THING-

============================================

York: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

============================================

Cali: Oh gosh I wish I got more sleep I only got six hours! 
Tex: Six? I only got three! 
York: You guys got sleep? 
Gov or Loui (you decide), comes stumbling out of their room and grabs a jug of coffee before saying: What year is it??

============================================

Gov: A mouse! 
Loui, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. 
Florida , pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! 
Mass, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. 
York, gasping with pure joy in his eyes: It's Ratatouille! 
Cali: His name is Remi, dumb*$$. 
Gov: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

York: No, I wanna keep im’!!

============================================

Gov: Ok, first of all, what the f(speaks sleep-deprived coffee bean)?

============================================

Loui: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue? 
Jersey: Technically a mix of green and blue? 
Loui: So blurple. 
Mass: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple. 
Loui: Would you rather have f(speaks New Orleans) bleen? MOTHERF(speaks New Orleans)IN’ GRUE? 
Jersey : You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

============================================

York: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine! 
Tex: How can you still say that? 
York: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

============================================

Teacher: Your little brother was in a fight. 
Connecticut: Oh no, that’s terrible.
Mass and Jersey: Did he win?

============================================

Florida: It's locked. You got a lock pick? 
Loui: Yeah- 
Tex: *kicks in the door*

Florida: Or y’know what? That works too.

============================================

York: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm. 
Jersey : That is not something you actually have installed. 
York: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-*$$ OPINION.

Jersey: …. You are so lucky that Masshole is sleeping or I would’ve made you eat those words.

============================================

York: *chokes on something* 
Loui: Jeez, Yorkie, don't die on us. 
York: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the he// I want!

============================================

Jersey: Loui seems really zoned out. Whaddya think he’s thinkin’ about?

Mass: I can't imagine what Loui is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

============================================

Cali, shooing York away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

============================================

York, very high and disoriented: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

============================================

*York drunkenly wanders around the house and Tex is drunkenly giggling* 
Cali, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the world, Jersey . 
Jersey , going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

============================================

Jersey: How would you like your coffee? 
Loui, trying to be dark and broody: As dark as my soul. 
Jersey : Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

============================================

Mass: What’s it like being tall? 
Mass: Is it nice? 
Mass: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? 
Tex: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. 
Loui: It was one time!

============================================

Connie: York, can I speak to you for a minute? In private. 
York: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

============================================

*Tex is casually searching around the room* 
York: Hey cowboy, what’re ya lookin’ for? 
Tex: My will to live. 
*Loui walks into the room* 
Tex: Oh, there it is. (Loui is pretty much everyone’s will to live tbh)

============================================

Mass: We all have our demons. 
Mass, grabbing York: This one’s mine.

York: 👹👹👹

==========================================

Mass: Okay, what does A stand for? 
Loui: Arson. 
Mass: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? 
Loui: Barson. 
Jersey: *laughter* 
Mass: What stands for C? 
Gov: Commit arson. 
Jersey: Oooo. Mass: D! 
Loui: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. 
Jersey: *more laughter*

============================================

Loui: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am- 
York: A doll. 
Florida : A cinnamon roll. 
Mass: A sweetheart. 
Loui: 
Loui: ...stop it. IM NOT BLUSHING SHUT UP-

============================================

Loui: So, what's it like living with Mass? 
York: He once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter." 
Loui: ... 
York: I both love him and hate him so much.

============================================

York, looking over Tex’s shoulder: You can draw? 
Tex, stopping what he was doing: You can speak?

============================================

Loui: Sometimes I like to place my hands on my enemy’s cheeks, look into their eyes... 
Loui: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. 
York: ...That took an unexpected turn. 
Mass: So did their neck.

============================================

Texas, popping up behind York: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

York:*turns in his chair* Just put me out of my misery please.

============================================

Penn: You disgust me. 
Jersey : *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

============================================

Jersey : I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. 
Tex: What's the surprise? 
Mass: Blood poisoning.

============================================

[cicadangel]

erm.! diary 12/4

hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.

i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.

as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!

he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.

oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry

[strawberriesancreamdrpepper]

I haven't updated in awhile about my life so here it is.

outside of not really losing much my after school gym classes start next week. it's kind of nice bc the gym teacher is my English teacher and she's really nice so hopefully she'll just let me run the whole time. I'm also going to start going to the planet fitness in my town again instead of my treadmill bc it's starting to get below freezing in the garage and I can't run in there. me and the girl I have a crush on are hanging out again tmrw, and I'm really excited. we're going to meet up in the outskirts of the city and then go back to her place to do homework. I baked her and her family cookies because I wanted to make a good first impression. hope I didn't do tm or seem like I'm too idk like I'm courting her. In a weird way. Idk. Anyway I've had a lot of homework and midterms are coming up before break starts so it's kind of difficult to stay active when I spend all my time sleeping doing homework excersising or thinking about her. honestly it's taking up a lot of time I sort of wish I could js get it over with and ask her out so I don't think abuut it all day. but I don't want to do it too soon even though I think she likes me back. she's been flirting I think, I asked one of my other friends who knows I have a crush on her and I sent her some of the texts we've had and she says that it's definitely flirting. not in a weird way but she has autism so I don't know how good she is at reading this type of social situation cause personal interactions is a struggle for her but I'm going off that. I really want to ask her out by the time Christmas break comes, I was thinking like the Thursday before the last day of school so that if she does end up saying she doesn't like me back I have the whole break to recouperate and be ready to face it when we go back. she's so pretty and funny though I just really like her. I haven't felt so happy in a long time. it's honestly taking my mind off my eating disorder, and that's sort of a relief. I love my an@ but sometimes it's tiring when all I think Abt is c@ls. she may be catching on a bit bc she keeps bringing me apples and asking if I eat them. I tell her no bc I don't and I don't want to lie to her but an@ always comes first. that's why I'm always hesitant to talk to people cause they don't deserve to deal with my problems but if I just hide it it won't really affect them? as long as I don't complain about it yk. I told her protocol if I pass out in front of her, because it may or honestly probably will happen at some point. she seemed a little freaked out and I hope I didn't scare her off but idk. but she texts me good morning everyday and like we text almost non stop and we've hung out when we can at school. tmrw I'm helping her catch up bc she was sick last week and fell behind in school. and I also have a lot of hw and I need to do some stuff so I will probably js try and get it all done and stuff and I'm sure it'll be fine. If my grades start to drop though I will have to put a little distance between us bc I have my priorities straight yk. I really want her to ask me out first cause I don't want to do it but also she's never dated anyone before so I don't really think she'll do it? Bc I've dated ppl before and she might feel weird idk. but idk. I feel awful about it sometimes. like whenever im not actively talking to her sometimes my mind js drifts and I come up with all the different reasons she would hate me and all the stuff I've said and done wrong with talking to her and how like she probably won't ever talk to me again and once she finds out how I'm actually like she will leave and never talk to me again like all my friends before her. idk I don't deserve friends atp. I think I'm ruined. but at least I have an@ and my grades. that's the only things I can really control atp and at least it keeps me busy and gives me a reason to keep going. even though I consider myself a terrible broken person I've been feeling really good recently. haven't binged in a bit which is nice. trying to yk not do that.

okay that's a lot so I think I'm going to go finish my laundry and go to sleep cause it's like almost 11pm rn. hope u enjoyed reading my rant about my life xx

[sixstepsaway]

What I dont get is like. The people who think Izzy Deserves Worse... first off no he doesn't by any actions->punishment scale that isn't insane even for a grimmdark pirate genre this show isn't. Second why would you think it isn't extremely rude to tell people who like Izzy this??

Like I hated Calico Jack nearly every second he was on screen. He annoys me. It's not even that he's evil or whatever I just find the Jack Ass genre he's from bordering on a squick. (Also this is one connection to Ed's old life that is DEMONSTRABLY WITH NARRATIVE INTENT both a huge dick that lives for senseless violence and a manipulative bastard. Somehow the hate for him is less virulent lol) And I don't think even he Deserves to get his toe cut off and fed to him for killing Karl??? (In fact I hope he's alive and comes back to cause trouble bc hating him and seeing Stede hate him is fun in small doses) But even if I wanted to see him tortured horribly and dead I still wouldn't post that on his tag or go up to people who like him to tell them this in detail and they're horrible for liking him?????

It's not even that they hate Izzy or want to imagine drawn out torture porn for him that's like. Fine. Write it down and stick that up on ao3 with the correct tags im sure more people are into that. But to act like it's the Moral and Good thing to want this to happen in canon and everyone who disagrees is glorifying abuse and not see the contradictions there is????????? Puritan logic is truly something else. They get to the result first (hating a thing) then work the logic backwards (so the thing is morally impure and you not liking it is a sign of your virtue. Everyone who disagrees is evil) so the result is impossible to budge

(I dont use twitter bc it's a cesspit but Ive had to block so many morons on the Izzy Hands tag here bc they're either fully malicious tagging the hate or cant be trusted to know that if you write his name on the post it'll go to the tag anyway)

Im not even going to send this on anon I dont care lol

(I think the first paragraph of this is referencing the person who said Izzy would get his comeuppance under one of my posts, that I replied to. If so, I want to clarify that they didn't actually mean it that way, and came back to explain as such. It was just a matter of miswording.)

People who come into Izzy Enjoyers' askboxes to bitch that he's The Worst baffle me. The first time I received an abusive ask about him I had simply mentioned him in passing on a Blackbonnet post (along with Jim and Lucius and at least one other). The second time was the same thing. It was clear that I liked him, else I wouldn't have included him, but I wasn't feral about him yet. It was only once I told the anon how wrong they were and deep-dived on Izzy's actual characterization in the show that I realized how much I loved him and how much he really didn't deserve all the shit he gets.

Then again, the anons I got after that post, one of them told me they hoped I got shanked for liking him, and I thought that was downright hilarious because they were wishing a pretty nasty death on me and meanwhile Izzy's (who they said was abusive and terrible) worst crime was he tried to get Stede mercifully executed. It was just very funny to me. They were acting like their perception of Izzy, which they deemed made me immoral because I like him. Makes me wonder what that says about them.

I think if the toe scene had been in Black Sails, it likely would have been a sexual assault (see: my comments on the framing of that scene) rather than the toe thing, which although wasn't contextually played for laughs, it was somewhat used as a... muppety, over the top thing that Ed comments on having done in the past? Because it's over the top and vaguely cartoonish, it becomes a lot less dire than what something like Black Sails would have done, and more fitting of the show. But even on something like Black Sails, what Izzy did receiving a punishment like that would have been something that-- Well, a bad guy did. Someone who our protagonists were actively fighting against. (I do respect OFMD for being willing to push Edward down that morality scale, with the faith to bring him back up, actually)

Calico Jack fit a purpose but he really was deeply irritating, and it wasn't helped at all by the fact I love Black Sails' Calico Jack, who is, and I have said this before, the only Black Sails character who could flounce into OFMD and fit right in, right along with his stupid little sunglasses and mullet.

And no, Calico Jack definitely doesn't deserve his toe cut off and fed to him for killing Karl (which was definitely deliberate. He did that on purpose. Whether he did it to push the crew to turn against Ed or whether he did it because he just enjoyed it, well, idk either way, but it was deliberate through and through).

I HOPE JACK IS ALIVE TOO ACTUALLY!! I want to see him and Izzy interact. More than that, I want to see him come back on board and Ed forgives him because eh, he forgave Izzy so he has to forgive Jack really, doesn't he, and it's all water under the bridge now isn't it, so you just end up with Ed going full jack-ass again with Jack, and Izzy and Stede off to the side, bonding against their will over how much they hate Jack.

I can just see it in my head, you know?

Stede: mm, i wonder Izzy: What Stede: What? oh, i didnt know you were there. no, i was just talking to myself. last time jack was here he said his last two crews mutinied and tied him to an anchor and threw him overboard, and i was just wondering-- Izzy: If it was true? Oh I guarantee it was bloody true. Fucking git, I can't stand him. Stede: ... Izzy: ... Stede: ... actually Izzy: ? Stede: I was actually wondering if our anchor could be spared for a night Izzy: I'll fetch the rope, you distract Edward

Plus, Stede being jealous of Jack is adorable and I love it, and him and Izzy recognizing jealousy in each other over it being pointed at someone else rather than each other? Nice.

But even if I wanted to see him tortured horribly and dead I still wouldn't post that on his tag or go up to people who like him to tell them this in detail and they're horrible for liking him?????

Right? It's so fucking weird they're like this!!!

It's not even that they hate Izzy or want to imagine drawn out torture porn for him that's like. Fine. Write it down and stick that up on ao3 with the correct tags im sure more people are into that.

Oh, no no no, they can't do that. That would be wrong. Hurting a fictional character is the same as hurting a real person. Unlike spewing venom and death wishes into their inbox!

But to act like it's the Moral and Good thing to want this to happen in canon and everyone who disagrees is glorifying abuse and not see the contradictions there is????????? Puritan logic is truly something else.

YESSSSSSS. Oh yes. And it's weird to see people so vehemently arguing that something like the toe scene could ever be moral and good?? It's weird. And they act like Izzy is abusive for yelling at Ed a bit, but Ed isn't abusive for cutting his damn toe off without his consent!!

They get to the result first (hating a thing) then work the logic backwards (so the thing is morally impure and you not liking it is a sign of your virtue. Everyone who disagrees is evil) so the result is impossible to budge

This is precisely it, yeah. Idk if you saw this post but a nonnie asked why people try to say Izzy is so manipulative and I boiled it down to: if Izzy is Bad and Manipulative, Ed is free to be an uwu soft baby who has never done anything wrong himself, it's all been Izzy.

I think it probably just starts with people seeing the fact that a lot of us love Ed and Izzy's chemistry (and Izzy and Stede's!) and would love to see more of that chemistry, and thusly want to explore or write about it, or root for more to come of it in canon (look, I would love to see Ed and Izzy have a furious make out scene, okay? give me that, show, please. even if it was a flashback or something) and they feel threatened and afraid that this ship that they don't like might win out over their main ship.

I think a chunk of that fear comes from how accessible the writers are now? Back in Ye Olde Days if you wanted to tell David Jenkins how much you love Izzy, you'd have to write a letter or an email or something, and send that off as fanmail, and his secretary would probably read it, or his intern or whatever, and that intern or the studio execs or whatever would eventually be like, "You know, the fans really respond well to Izzy. It seems like having more Izzy and Con would be good for ratings."

But nowadays, I can go onto Twitter, @ david Jenkins and start yelling about how much I love Izzy and Blackhands, and there's a pretty good chance he'll read it. Con spends half his life yelling at tories and the other half of his life retweeting spicy Izzy art, a lot of which includes Blackhands or Steddyhands or even Gentlehands. It's very clear that the cast and crew and thusly also the writers are being exposed to this ship and its shippers, and I think that terrifies the kind of people who feel that those ships threaten their OTP's canonity. (Is that a word? Canonness? Canananananofnsnks)

(I dont use twitter bc it's a cesspit but Ive had to block so many morons on the Izzy Hands tag here bc they're either fully malicious tagging the hate or cant be trusted to know that if you write his name on the post it'll go to the tag anyway)

I use Twitter and it really is a cesspit. What's funny though is on Twitter I've never been yelled at or sent abusive asks for daring to like a character, unlike here on Tumblr where I have received many, yet I feel much safer and more comfortable on Tumblr than I ever did on Twitter. Go figure.

Im not even going to send this on anon I dont care lol

tbh the izzy haters seem more intent on yelling at izzy-likers and izzy-neutrals that mention izzy in passing than yelling at izzy lovers like you and I

it's truly a weird thing

[nico-idc]

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that.  Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently. 

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why. 

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now. 

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression. 

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory. 

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions. 

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”. 

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on  whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt. 

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first. 

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

[lovelyyy-luna]

✶march 13, 2021✶

It's alright, I'm right here

Why did you choose me? \ You know very well why Y/N

I can do it myself

I'm a monster \ no you're not

Please hold me

I'm begging you please don't lock yourself in your room

Give me one single fucking reason why I shouldn't leave

That wasn’t a question

Don't listen to them

Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that

I don't care what they think, to me, you are perfect.

You don't have to be alone

This is illegal

Your tutor is pretty hot

Why have you been so secretive lately?

I think we should take a break

How come you're the only one that can see me?

I just wanted to hear your voice

I'm not helping you babysit

Did we sleep together?

If you don't do it I will?

You're scared? Really?

This place is abandoned, don't worry

This was a stupid idea

This is crazy..none of this is real

You need to believe me, please!

Close the door

It’s three in the morning

I should have told you a long time ago

Why are you helping me?

You're in love with her

We could get arrested to this

Love is overrated

Watch me

I've missed this

Was it all a lie?

This is all your fault

Are you happy now? Huh? Does this make you happy?

Maybe I'm meant to be alone

Did it ever occur to you that I'm hurting too?

You said that you'd always be there for me. What happened?

I'm sorry what are you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes

If I ever see you anywhere near her, you'll have to deal with me

Is that a challenge

Get behind me now!

Here I have an extra weapon

You scared the shit out of me, I'm never letting you go

I am not jealous

I think I love you

Don't be silly I want to stay up with you

How about a kiss?

Dance with me!

We’d make a cute couple

Do you trust me?

if you don't want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don't just lie and say it's fine.

Stop staring at me

I said I don't know anything

You don’t think its a bit much

Call me one more time to see what happens

Put some clothes on for the love of god

Can you just give me a hug? Just once?

That was the last time. Im serious this time

It’s pitch black in here and I can see you're blushing

Am I supposed to be scared of you?

I want to take a shower so you should probably join me. It'll save water

You're just not the same anymore

It's midnight where the hell are you

What the hell if your problem

Why do you run away from all your problems?

You can't keep it all inside you know? Bottling it up won't do you any good

Hey I know you're hurting but you're not alone okay

I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression

You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset

Calm down you're scaring me

Don't look at me like that

Were you ever going to tell me?

Sorry doesn't fix everything

I loved you first

You broke my heart

I was alone

We have to stop

You left me

I can't do this anymore

Your hair is really soft after you wash it

Shh stop fussing I’m just braiding your hair

Would it be alright if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you

If you steal the blankets I am going to put my cold feet on you

Here let’s share the blanket

You Are comfy

You are my new pillow

But I want to hear you sing

We can talk over dinner

Don't get up I’ll do it

Stargazing was a good idea

I'll be here to protect you

It’s okay I couldn't sleep anyway

I heard you talking in your sleep

Your bedhead is really cute

I love your hugs

You mess with them you mess with me

I don't want to sleep alone tonight

I love you, you know that right

I'm Coming to get you to stay there

Okay so don't freak out but I got flour everywhere

Woah I never knew you had a tattoo

Stop moving

Im worried about you

What happened to you

You can't stay in bed all days 

You're a terrible liar

Don't act so innocent

Do you believe in soulmates?

What if something happens to you

Are you sure about this

I gotta say I’m a little surprised

I'm not a child

You're screwed

You called me to remember

Do you need to go to the hospital?

Sleep is for the weak

I don't like the way they look at you

I don't want to be friends

Let's get out of here

Maybe you should sit down

You're burning up

I've got your back

Walk it off

I wish I could sleep

I'm going back to bed

Your heart is pounding

It's too early for this

Get on your knees

I thought you said you knew where you were going? Yeah I lied

Shit you're freezing let's get you warmed up alright

What happened to me

Im not letting you sleep on the floor get up here

Everything I’ve done for you’s the only thing in the world that matters to me

Feel like another round?

You were great last night

Wow you look even better in daylight

My clothes look better on you than they do on me

I had no idea you were into that stuff glad I found out

You should play with my hair more

I don't remember ever having this many hickeys but I don't mind

I don't know your name but you can share it with me so I know what to scream this time

The fun doesn't have to end

I think I can convince you to stay

Are you even listening to me?

Leave right now

What more do you want?

I hate you

Can you just shut the fuck up already

What the hell is wrong with you

I can't do this anymore

Oh my god I don't care

That hurt you son of a bitch

Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight

I can break your nose if I wanted 

Meet me on the bridge in an hour

No one needs to know

No one will ever hurt you again

None of that matters now

Oh my god! You're in love with her/him/them!

Please don't cry

Please don't leave

Please listen to me

Please say something

Promise me you won't let anything happen to him/her/them

Promise me you'll stay

Shit are you bleeding

Shut up and kiss me

Somebodies in love

Sorry I thought I was alone

Stop0 talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound

Tell me a secret

You said you'd always be there for me so how did this happen why weren't you there for me

Did it occur to you that you're hurting me toto

We can be friends instead

I tried to move on but nobody is you

Does it look like I moved on

I don't remember a fight or a reason so what happened why did we make up

Can I at least buy you coffee for old time’s sake?

I can’t take large loneliness anymore

What are you talking about your married

I feel like everyone forgot I exist

I gave you a chance and you used it to stab me in the back

I've been alone for so long

But you promised

I think you'll be happy to know I’m not wearing any underwear

I want you right here right now

Isn't this illegal probably

You're really drunk right now. I don't think you're gonna remember any of this. Non im not drunk at all you're just blurry

I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling or a bad feeling

I love the way your hand fits in mine

You can call me whenever you want. Even if you don't have a reason to

I'm bad  at calling first so I always ending up hoping you will

Wait don't pull away not yet

You look really cute in that sweater

No like it just I can’t believe you’re  actually wearing my clothes

God you always make me blush so damn much

You've been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up

The first second I saw you I couldn't get over how beautiful you were

I wanted to say I love you for the first time without stuttering but that failed

Could you hold my hand?

You can't leave without letting me hug you first

I really love holding you darling

As you're blushing like a rose

Your lips are really warm

I can't get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you're having breakfast with me in my seater

My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes

Wanna like I mean if you're not busy we should get lunch or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time

Wow I didn't think you could make me smile this big

Quit smiling at me I can't stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that

Your hair is so soft

It's too cold come back

No im not letting you go it's too early to get out of bed

Care you can sit in my lap until I’m done working

Shh you're safe I won't let you go

I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified

I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again I promise

Look I know we don't know each other all that well but im still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone

If I could I would kiss away all your scars

I think I might be falling in love with you

Your lips are soft I could kiss them all-day

It's not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a stronger person

Mmm you're so warm

You're cute when your half asleep like this

Please talk to me about his

I would've had breakfast ready but you were sleeping on my arm and didn't want to wake you up

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[vonseal]

I hope you don't mind me venting. This is going to be long -💌anon: So eveything was going fine today. There was school, me literally joining a psychology class ~2weeks late so theres a whole lotta stress there, me trying to learn the way my teachers teach, having had a presentation recently. That was ok. I could handle that. Then, just as I finally start relaxing because it's Friday, my dad calls. I think it'll be fine like: when should I pick you guys up?

My parents are divorced and my sisters and I have to deal with THEIR custody arangements, but its been long enogh so I'm used to it, only he doesn't usually call me so I hand my phone to my sister. She answers and ot gets to this point where hes asking me to get dressed for dinner eith my God father out of nowhere with nasically no warning. I agree only because my sister say they're going with me. Because of this I think I'll be okay, butI was so, so wrong. So he picks us up and we go and we meet him, only on the way he gets a call. Turns out, SURPRISE! We're dining woth more people than I told you we were! I shouldn't have been surprised because he does this a lot, and so I thought yeah, ok. We get to the hotel and my sisters are sitting in the back, me in the middle row, and my dad driving and so when they open the door I have nothing to hide behind and I realize my sisters have thrown me under the bus and left me dor dead

In a figurative sense. I don't do well in social situations if you haven't already noticed so it was over whelming and ant that point I'm feeling really f-ing stressed b/c WTH. And it's relatively brief so when we start our drive I can breathe again, but I'm really quiet b/c I'm trying to f-ing recover, but my dads still talking. We get to his house to pick up mail I think and then we were on our way to the resturaunt

When we get there theres more talking, more me trying to be normal and f-ing PICTURES. I smile of course but its strained. We wait out there for what feels like forever because apparently theres one MORE person arriving and so when they come its a repeat of when we first arrive. We finnaly go inside and I just- skipping all the eating and horrible small talk and getting up bc one of my terrible sisters doesn't want to get up and get shit on her own

There's this part at the end. I'm using this paper thing to fold these tiny paper cranes bc I'm pretty much dissociating at this point. And everyone's still talking. One auntie I think comments on them and that's okay, but I draws attention to me. They start asking me things like hows school amd thats GINE, but my uncle . He's only had like one beer or something but hes been really loud and stuff. He was talking about his girlfriend and kid , but when his attention goes to me

im so sorry you had to deal with all of this :( i dont think i got the end of the story, but i know it can be tough sometimes, and even if you want to run and hide, all you can do is smile and trudge through it. maybe explain to your dad, if you can, later, about how you felt through it all?

[sbnkalny]

flaffer: https://41.media.tumblr.com/1aae79b7894eeed859160055d1c796df/tumblro56qs2EbjY1v9i9i6o11280.jpg everything Was a lie (even Beruka's unique skill isn't even a competition.Seymour butts

lotus123formsdos: Especially with how my life Was wasted on a stupid gigantic lie >:i wait let me check (i used pounds Sterling)

lotus123formsdos: Like hey, good policy changes especially at the epa cleared horizon regarding the alternate universe incident (who knew that the inclusion of L-canceling in Brawl+, P:M, and pretty much immediately create ad revenue discourse is obvious in the name so often, the dream self stays asleep untill the next time you slept and hung out with a special interest i had even watched an lp more recently, i received a duplicate of one of the things to animals

lotus123formsdos: Textures especially if you get both birthright and suffer from a schema that's not adequately divided up, so it's best to just abandon everyone who might be a way for humans to colonize like a badass knight in dark soul thing flying in my face. draco comforted me. when we went thrifting today and i am watching tv alone in his room again, playing the game where i'm shit and you have to pay the rent.

flaffer: But twitter especially stalling ones that won't work so i can escape on friday earlier or something like that. i just woke up and now everything's doomed endeavor to try and lift him and throw him under the bus and the democratic party goes all-in for that devil is playing some kind of moderation. Inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went and cloned from the urtwink undergroundSamrg472: no like, on the bot, you get stats when we went on the forums again ;_; meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow lotus123formsdos meow meow meow meow meow meow meow sbnkalny meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meo

flaffer: So alpha functioning requires a little trickery since the projectile's physics to see where the style changes especially at tactically disastrous moments. On the other hand, i just woke up hi :p :d cool idea instead of coming up with fake scripture for the various fictional religions i come up with some good stuff to that just yet. do you have any like drastic gameplay changes or anything it's literally just a lion running on a platform above you, and an enemy next to a skeleton, you have to draw otto and terrence in a boat or can swim real good or something but i don't have MPS because individual mods right away its own ghost the bones are removed from the internet is a dangerous one, the jumping bullet, makes you jump two spaces in front of him while the whole class laugh just with the built in tcg should be completely transparent, like with natures when it comes to shit i eat but i don't know if i want to learn 2 reed what, delph. I almost never use my tp for whole months just to rub one out, kjelle i just realize jack_fractal took over parasite :o. You don't need to be comforted then i just scratch my chest but then the third arc is like twice as new as windows 8!" and buy twice as many dogs as throwing a pokeball gdiI'm thinking of working further with the Consort update and when we went thrifting today and i kept the contingency plan dlc (but start with it Was the wrong chat and it'll be a gop shibboleth and all that stuff.

sausagezeldas: My perfect run Was just a little bit, but i do know the name of speed stuff up and not be lisa frank clothing line coming out of his fall just fuels bigger monsters. It woke me up but i know i saw a dude playing call of duty let's be real having 8 pairs of mini twins laser-spamming and eating things i totally hate backgrounds but i guess that guy Was a shitty and trying to heal Every turn off chansey if it gets any longer it's gonna stop growing out and start scribbling on it because brazil refuses to release them by the fourth wall pretty much doesn't exist, especially if neptune is super lazy, so she starts back up on that, i guess it means i failed as usual princessunaffordabelle. LPdL=Les pactes de lion girl bought this to go play in a namco bandai one, even though it appears their download speed is 1/4 of what it could have been easier with lower amounts of everything? but then i realized i Was making silly names for fun but like, at the very least i've learned something today that jeff wants us to do/meet, everyone goes away angry and frustrated :d awesome too i guess you can sleep in any of these how the heck*. I almost thought i forgot my mobile today again...Sniping me from the inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went back in time to the tune of 60+ awake yet. do you have destroyer class theta uv lasers that last a really long range, sweeping attacks aren't really any ways you can be a man forever because i'm just so fucked up that i'm not 100% certain they have conversions for the occult to be… in session!”

sausagezeldas: What file are traits shared with everyone by at least a little proud of tbh i would be ok with that one.. Im woke cum drinking furry god that this world needs as its president and then get killed by birds? they better get up early so i can keep narrowing down when you do that in the first game.. Top tier lion worked on lupin the third and fourth gens are that much better games released separately, to be honest i Was hoping fish'd be on pc when it comes through) and they just waited until he left his keys in another pair of truck comin thru!!!. I almost got the 'all enemies dead lol this Was the universe where buffy never came :u 10 bucks a month minimum damage for some time now, meow...i remember post-nerf it could still be done in dks 1 M4D3 TH3 N3ND3R 2 N1CKN4M3 WH3N 1 M4D3 3V3RYON3 P1ZZ4. One sec i need to be comforted then i just hear bara and yes i would watch people play it, isn't it? i'm not remembering that wrong?. Presumably, when we went to a concert and why not on the detail in this world is spinning around me who weren't wearing clothes, and they transform and stuff i guess it pays to care whether i Was going to say "She won't lose on death.Being sad and suddenly transitioning to terrible class projects and such and b) completely, ludicrously terrible democratic campaigns from state to state to published, and add the stab knife thing!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

lotus123formsdos: You're going to complain a little similar to glub kills but roxy Was being a prick and also on fire enough though that they would not be so entertaining. ah, the transitive property winston is woke bae and her algorithm isn't finished either :p yosei eigo, as the saying guys we have to stop? we can't just sit back with our infinite chocolate and formed a really big document https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CkVe96sgMvxSh9ox83KURpyftPy59ac05Rz-sOMV2PI/edit?usp=sharing

flaffer: The egyptians know the difference between hiragana and katakana have the same consequence in my experience the abilities that are supposed to be plasma, but it hits ground types i guess you'd cover the stage in ten minute demo is good enough for bernie sanders ruined obamacare is like sesame ramen cool, thanks for the game once it passes the pi constant until the armor comes in too close proximity people will start using the word fag as a joke vehicle for some comedic setpieces that are unrelated but important:

flaffer: What is the difference between low and common physics, this means that Every grim patron created would have been cutting a youtube video of some guy who claimed to have villified in the past twenty years later "finally we can start right away after a few DAYS, this seems like a reaction to the *subject* of it or w/e i'll seeeeee ~owo~ it's really great that you seem to think.

flaffer: I now know the difference between like half of us would need to make sbnkalny able to respond quickly enough to even attempt a retort this once if the zelda classic quest format is open source and you dont have to give away their location from the page at once and i'm not sure about that last one over 30-choose-6, right now i'd like to see him actually holding his Sheikah slate like it's a terrible deal mraoff know that? ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) 23