#so i havent been able to work on that which was my main goal

[thedisablednaturalist]

I've been trying to do some WFH stuff all weekend to catch up but I'm overwhelmed. Its like I don't know what to work on first. Ill start working on something and then get worried about a different thing and then start working on it. Like idk what work I should be doing at home vs what should I work on in the office? Im thinking of getting into bullet journaling but those methods were more for like, life stuff rather than research. Its also like buy buy buy all this shit just to take notes. Right now I'm trying to set up two different notebooks, one for R programming and one for this invertebrate textbook I got. Maybe I should just focus on setting up my WFH space but I don't think that counts as working.

[year2000electronics]

I absolutely LOVELOVELOVE your Reverse Falls HCs from what I've seen :). I would love to ask more about so much aspects haha.

What is Reverse Ford's main goal in this universe?

What is Ford' and Stanley's backstory?

Mind sharing some info about Reverse! Dipper and Reverse! Mabel?

HOKAY. i will use this ask to talk a little about the reverse stans' backstories because i have Some Ideas. as always full answer under cut bc its got images and rambles galore

in my mind, the gleeful family association with magic & the supernatural starts with caryn's phone psychic business, and ford having "The Gift" while stan ABSOLUTELY doesnt. but in real terms that means just having a really strong intuition and being able to guess well. (at least thats what filbrick and caryn thing. ford genuinely thinks he has some semblance of psychic ability and so does his mom, but they just havent properly honed it yet) and so ford is the preferred child for that, instead of his smarts really. ford is also obsessed with the supernatural still, but it's more focused on the magical aspect.

ford and stan's relationship ends up being close because stan is the only one who believes ford about magic. i mean there are other reasons but thats very important to ford

ford, seeing how stan has always had his back by believing what he says about magic, offers to try and "tutor" stan into having The Gift. drilling him for hours by holding up cards and making him guess, stuff like that. but yknow, since both of them are kinda clamoring to inherit their mom's business, stan kinda ends up relying on ford for everything, and theyre taking on almost a mentor-student relationship when theyre Literally Brothers.

instead of west coast tech, the scholarship ford is being offered is for a famous performing arts school after his teachers saw him take the leads in school plays year after year. they tell him a scout will be at their school's talent show, and ford decides he's going to put on a stage magic show (with stan as his assistant). this time, not only is stan worried about ford leaving, but also, since they've both been working towards a really similar thing (performing for a crowd), he's really worried he'll never get a chance to show off that HE has skill, too! ford brushes him off about this saying that he'll put a good word in for stan when he's at performing arts school and stan is like "ok." and agrees to be his assistant.

in the middle of ford's show, he goes rogue, trying to show the scouts that he can be just as skilled as ford is, and completely screws up the trick he ends up performing. ford doesnt get that internship, ford is furious, so is filbrick, stan gets kicked out, you know the rest.

ford goes to backupsmore and double-majors in both theatre and whatever he majors in in the show. he plans to move to gravity falls because of its high ratings of weirdness. after stan got kicked out, instead of becoming a traveling salesman, he becomes a street magician who doubles as a pickpocket. stealing peoples' watches and stuff. he runs around all over the place

ford digs up four mystic amulets once he gets to gravity falls and stays there for a while, and is like "oh man i can USE these". so how i imagine the amulets to work is that they're kinda like, a conduit through which you can learn legit magic? like casting spells and stuff. but he probably only needs one so he keeps the other three in his house (and that's how the kids eventually find the others)

and of course thats how he starts up the tent of telepathy!

but he wants more. he wants to make the world pay for ever calling him a six fingered freak. and he wants to prove to the world that his magic IS real. he can't just lie sequestered in gravity falls forever. so he goes hunting for more answers about gravity falls' weirdness, and how he might be able to get more POWER to make a show so good the entire world will see... and that's how he summons will cipher! will tells him about the portal, and how itll open up a dimension of weirdness into his own, and ford accepts on those terms, looking out just for himself. then he asks fidds to come help with the portal, fidds walks out on him, he shackles will to him in a deal, but they both realize they don't have the manpower to run the portal. reluctantly, ford calls stan up, telling him to come and that it's important.

...but of course that doesnt go well. stan initiates a physical fight and ford ends up getting sucked into the portal. will is left alone with stan, who tells him he can buzz off because HE certainly doesnt want him around. stan works for the next 30 years to get ford back because he wants ford to finally be the one who has to suck up to HIM and owe HIM something.

at some point, mason and mabel's parents become unable to take care of them and give them to stan. he reluctantly takes them in, but soon after, not only do they find the amulets but also journal 2, and they end up reactivating ford's deal with will, getting passed down to the "next of kin" after stan rejected it. AND THATS SORTA WHERE THE SHOW STARTS. THUMBS UP.

[reachartwork]

[private please, if thats alright] i used to follow you for your ai stuff back in 2021/22 when things were first kicking off (actually i thought you'd quit because of all the scandal lol) and the models and output were a lot 'sloppier' and kinda illegible but as far as i can see the stuff you're working on now is clearer looking and more coherent, so i was wondering - do you have any thoughts on the 'aesthetics' of AI and what specifically brings it unique merits and strengths as an art tool? for example i personally find a lot of modern ai art to be boring and soulless looking because it has neither stylistic interest (compared to the blatant 'inhumanity' of older models) nor a human person making base-to-base decisions about what it looks like, but i also havent been really paying too much attention to the AI scene except when it comes up in images searches. also, sorry if its not a question you want to answer, but do you do any more traditional styles of art as well? i find my art sensibilities are really effected by the mediums i work with so i would love to know if you have any similar experiences wrt ai and non ai works. thank you!

this is a side account so i can't answer privately, but, that being said;

i actually agree! for general purpose arting i preferred the secret horses style of total illegibility, and my main goal in my secret projects is to be able to reorganize around that style but with sharper, crisper lines and higher resolutions. part of why the whole "secret horses" style of ai medium fell through the cracks was because a: diffusion models were significantly faster and b: diffusion models scale upwards significantly better - they can produce higher resolutions and perform upscaling, which CLIP + VQGAN (the old method that made all the jank we all used to love) can't really do.

i think people whose sole interest in ai is making shitty advertisement images, or giant anime boobs, or some other lowest common denomenator slop, like... okay. you do you, the saying is "90% of everything is shit" for a reason, but obviously i think that's incredibly boring. i think the reason we see a lot of it is because a: the Good Artists who use AI are still effectively social pariahs, particularly on twitter and tumblr, just via dint of their medium, and b: ai puts art making in the hands of EVERYONE and it turns out not everyone has good taste (see: 90% of everything is shit), so you just see a lot more shit by volume.

anyway in terms of "traditional art" i am an author (READ CHUM) and a bassist, although i haven't been in a band in many years as my arthritis prevents me from playing for very long or very well anymore. if you mean traditional art as in like... paint and easel, or pen and paper, the answer is no. i've never had the ability to comfortably grasp anything with my hands even before the arthritis happened and now i lack not only the fine motor skills for it but also the pain threshold. i do like legos though, and i'd love to start making lego dioramas.

thanks for asking :)

[old-stoneface]

ive been really interested in reading fanfic by published authors lately, and recently i found the account where the author naomi novik (who i think is very talented and whose books i have read two of) has posted fic from the late 1990s to literally this year (over 500 fics), and its like . these fics are such perfect examples of their kind. im fascinated by the depth thats added to the characters i recognize, but im also deeply amused by the stereotypical way that characters are mischaracterized, and ive been going thru old livejournal posts from novik as well. my original goal when looking for published authors' fic was to find holly black's old handles so i could look up what she was writing in the late 90s and early oughts but i havent been able to track it down....so disappointing. ive found a few pdfs of c*ssandra cl*re's work too (censored bc shes on tumblr) but since its all hp stuff i have very little interest in it. it is, however, very funny to see the origins of the writing styles that you see in the published work....

the most interesting part of reading novik's fanfic is seeing the care with which she treats female characters, making them way more complex than they are in the source material, which is also very evident in the way she wrote the main characters of original work spinning silver and uprooted. i also found transcripts of the very amusing drama that novik was involved in a while back on a reddit ama, wherein she was asked why, even though her fic is majority m/m slash fic and is mostly explicit, she hasnt written an original story featuring gay men. her main reason was that she typically leaves it up to the interpretation of the readers, letting them draw their own conclusions, but there was some messiness to her phrasing that didnt lend to a favorable reasoning and which garnered her some distrust in fandom spaces. however, this mainly just interested me, and didnt have any negative impact on the way she writes or what she writes about.

this is all to say that im proud of the fact that i was posting fic in 2012 on fanfiction dot net, and where i used to feel a lot of shame about it because of various forces in my life, i now have more respect for this tradition within the last two generations of writers lol ive never been particularly interested in the way that fandoms interact with each other but im deeply fascinated by the way you can analyze people based on what they write and how their voice comes thru ...

[ginnotwist]

What is your favorite jojo part? And favorite character? I have noticed that people who like both jjba and enstars can often be the smartest most nuanced people youll have the pleasure of talking to and i think you qualify

HIII okay preemptively putting this under a readmore since its just going to be me rambling. thank you though im glad u think my takes are good. it makes me happy to be able to discuss stuff (dreamy sigh) i love discussions

my fav jojo part kind of pingpongs between parts 7, 8 and 3. i think part 7 is exceptionally written. i love the characters i love their interactions i love their banter to offset the more serious tone and conflicts of the part. jesus christ corpse aside i think part 7 touches some very heavy issues with how johnny is handled and while things couldve been done better, i think it's good. i love part 8's entire plot and it feels like a murder mystery the whole time to me, at the beginning it feels quite silly but when the focus shifts over to the rokaka, the rock humans and gappy's origins thats where it starts getting really good. i'd rather not spoil since ik a lot of people havent finished reading p8 and i implore u to because p9 is just around the corner. p3 is just kind of. there. i feel bad because part 3 is just a hero's journey. it's not outstanding but i think it's charming in its simplicity. i like the characters and the stand fights and the format is silly and lets me turn my brain off.

ok fav characters... i'll try to narrow this down to 3. johnny, jotaro, and fugo. fugo probably the one i am most fond of (hes my milk webkinz). johnny aside, i feel like the other two are kind of simple characters but this is where my Tendency To Overanalyze Anything I Like kicks in so to me they're a lot deeper and fleshed out than they seem at first glance.

johnny, well...i see a lot of dislike towards johnny from certain parts of the community because of his (implied) depression and him being disabled. a lot of dudebros seem to see him as someone whiny and a "useless" jojo, comparing him to gyro which seems to do most of the emotional heavylifting this part. this is not at all true and i think both his and gyro's efforts are what result in them progressing in the race as well as johnny's own progress irt to the spin, in coping with his brother's loss, and finding purpose in himself. i am Not disabled, so i cant truly comment on how good of a representation he is but while one of his motivations is to obtain the jesus corpse to be able to walk again, this motivation is almost entirely set aside by the end of the part – and by the time he does 'gain the ability' to walk again for lack of a better term it's not at all the main focus. it's almost cathartic to see that when gyro passes away johnny thanks him for all he's done, but he's most certainly not making reference to his working legs, but rather, everything else. his best friend just died, and his main goal is to finish the race, and get his corpse back to italy. throughout the part gyro helps him find strength in himself to see that he is capable of more than he thinks (even though he can be quite harsh, i think this is exactly what johnny needs), and johnny's depression and survivor guilt when it comes to being alive while his brother, who he considers was better in every respect, is dead, is very realistic within the confines of what Can Be, in a story like jojo, and idk. when his neglectful father who left him to die comes back to greet him at the end of the race, begging for forgiveness, is essentially spat on by johnny because after all his growth he knows he deserves more than that, that he does not owe him forgiveness just because after years of mistreating him he's finally seen the error of his ways... stuff like that just kind of sells him for me. he feels so real. that and he's really cute and funny ✌️

JOTAROS A BIT HARDER TO TALK ABOUT BECAUSE he feels very flat. in part 3 you can argue hes just some angsty brooding teenager who's mean to his mom and punches shit. which is true. that's what it is on paper. idk though. i made a lot of shit about jotaro up in my head so a lot of this is going to be hcs and my interpretation of him. but i dont think he's ever really had a healthy outlet for his issues. i love holly, but she's always just kind of gone with what jotaro wants/says, and jotaro's never really had a father figure in his life. ofc he wants to save his mom when he goes off to egypt, it's almost all he has. then in egypt i like to think that meeting the other three and becoming friends with someone close to his age, kakyoin, he realizes things about himself that he never really considered, or wishes to put a name to. i think jotaro has a bit of internalized homophobia in regards to kakyoin and having lost him, his first love, at 17 fucks you up. i also like the interpretation that jotaro is autistic and this is one of the reasons he has such a hard time relating to people, voicing his thoughts and latched onto marine biology which is something that persists throughout his whole life.

i think one of the best things about jotaro is that he might seem underdeveloped in his own part but then in p4+p6 when he shows up enough has happened to him that you can infer some of his development behind the scenes. by p4 we know he has jolyne but travels around a lot and we know nothing about his spouse so we can assume his relationship with her isnt the best (this is confirmed in p6). going back to the internalized homophobia i think jotaro would take on a spouse because of comphet and because he feels like this is something that should be normal. keep in mind his father was also never around while he was growing up, so again traveling around and not spending time with his daughter, spending more time on speedwagon foundation business and his studies, and it never once occurs to him that this might not be the best thing to do (at the time). he's a lot more mature now and knows he cant use violence to solve everything, which is good, and tries to form lasting relationships with josuke, koichi and okuyasu. he's trying to make progress

and then p6 rolls around and jolyne is grown up and we find out that yeah jotaro was a pretty shit dad. our suspicions were correct. he was never around, he's always had fights with jolyne’s mother not because hes violent but because hes completely disinterested. again, the comphet, but also: he's out of the house all of the time on spf business because he wants to keep jolyne safe. to this day the effects and losses of egypt still rest heavy on him and marine biologist work aside he doesn't want the same fate to befall jolyne. him sending her the brooch is a last resort for her to protect herself. when hes awake during the part he's trying to make it up to jolyne, in his own way, and he loves and protects his daughter until his dying breath (this brought me to tears, btw part 6 is a ride). also i rly think he loved kakyoin his whole life. idk. i think jotaro can be pretty tragic depending on how you see him. which is why i love him but he also makes me sad as fuck because i think after p3 he spends his whole life lamenting the trauma he suffered when he was 17 and forcing himself to suck it up; ofc this doesnt excuse him being a shitty father to jolyne, i think she deserves better, but... you know

NOW FUGO!!!!!!! This is all going to sound delusional. bear with me. fugo is literally in p5 for like 2 milliseconds so ill explain how /i/ see him. but also keep in mind ive read phf like 3 times. OK SO fugo is this moody ass 16 year old with extreme anger issues -- while most of the time hes mature, good with people with only a bit of snark, he has an explosive temper that stemmed from his childhood. he was a prodigy child, he got into university at the age of 13, but was for the most part neglected by his family (not including his grandmother), his parents only looking after him/demanding More from him when it came to his studies/extracurricular activities. his family is new money, so they need fugo to excel in life to ensure that they are not taken lightly.

here is where stuff kind of varies: in the anime, he is almost sexually harassed by a much older uni professor and in a fit of rage beats him over the head with a heavy book. in the novel and the manga i think it just comes from the teacher mocking him (in the novel he gets pissed off because his grandmother died prior and the teacher belittled him for failing an exam when he had requested to not take it) but the consequence is the same: hes kicked out of uni and disowned by his family to not blunder the family name, making him homeless. time goes by and he's taken in by bruno and hes the first one to join his gang under the guise of needing a "level head" (ironic bc bruno knows why fugo ended up on the streets).

then the actual events of p5 happen and he actually leaves the gang really early on as bruno had decided to betray the boss. fugo is inept emotionally and prefers to not face the wrath of the boss, narrowly avoiding his own death LOL and then being like ok why did they ditch me. 

he doesnt understand why bruno and the rest of the gang would throw away their lives for some girl theyd just met. he's logical, emotion-driven only when it comes to himself. hes moody, as a teenager should be, but after joining brunos gang becomes heavily reliant on routine, on being told what to do, and despite all of the gang related activities they carry out, is likely the only time he's ever been able to be a kid/someone's child. from here on we dont see him at all unless you read his spin-off novel which is technically not considered canon by a lot of ppl bc its not by araki, but its overseen by him and the illustrations included are all provided by him. but basically i like fugo for a lot of the same reasons i like kakyoin: that being hes a socially inept introvert who had no friends until the main story and didnt realize what they had until it was too late

(PHF SUMMARY HERE) after the events of p5, with bruno, abbacchio and narancia dead, giorno as the head of the mafia seeks him out to carry out a mission to exterminate the head (happens to be an old university classmate of his) of this group selling drugs under the passione's name. essentially a suicide mission if it goes wrong. hes tasked to go with sheila e. (girl, same age as boss' daughter approx.) and murolo (middle aged man). they butt heads quite a bit but grow rather close. thru various parts of the novel hes still on some Dumb shit with his anger issues like nearly killing sheila e. when she caught him while he was falling bc he was still seeing red from the enemy. otherwise this part he just kinda comes off as depressed, less explosive. without going into much detail about the fights or what actually happens, he begins to trust people, i think. he doesnt see Everything as if the world was against him and it makes me rly happy for him. like up until this point hes never been Alone alone, but has alienated himself from others bc he feels that they dont understand, or that theyre too different from him, too dumb. very this ⬇️

im going to link to a post i wrote a while back about some phf fugo thoughts because this post is already long enough

anyways i think im done here. i hope this was satisfying and good. i went on a bit of a tangent irt fugo and jotaro because i feel like unlike johnny people dont really tend to look at them with the same depth. i also think i am just out of my mind. if youve read this far i love you

[engineersamuel]

Another random rant

Honestly Im just screaming off to the void right now, Im upset that i haven written lately, and I don't mean "no writting at all" I mean that im upset i have not written for the Thing I want to write, Recently i did a little more writting for a Crack fic Involving DCxDP stuff, but its not really what i wanted to Pour a lot of writting effort into. my main 'claim to fame' Is Workaholics In space, its a Humans Are space Orcs story I started about... 2022? I started it off a whim while on reddit, since I saw a fun Writting prompt about Humans being Workaholics. and i Kinda just spiraled Upward into A full blown story, and I haven't been able to write about/for it in a while. Its been Five ish months since I have wrote anything for it and Im upset at myself. I love Workaholics In Space, Its Fun to Write! I love Seeing these characters I have made Go into their own stories. but I just... havent written recently about them. Im not gonna link it here, since its broken up into chapters On reddit, I Might Do a link for it later, but I don't want to, Just ranting into the void right now. I just feel dissapointed in myself, for the past week I have wanted to write, do Create More For Workaholics In space, and Its Not dead! Its still very much alive!.... I... I just haven't been able to write about it. Most of the people who read this are just gonna Pass by it, and thats fine, rant to the void stuff.... I... I just feel like Workaholics In space has died down... and I don't want to sound like some 'sob story author' who wants more Interactions with my Story. my main goal with Writting, No matter what I write, is that People enjoy it for what it is, In more deapth what i mean is: I write For me first, Creating something to be proud of, then I send it out, and let my work Find others who Like it, I Know that If at least One person feels better from reading my stories, then i did good. I just want people to enjoy my stories becuase they find them Fun and what they want. but im afraid that by ranting like this, or by explaining what I feel that I come off as... Fake? yeah, best word for it. I don't want to have people think im doing this for 'fame' or Ego, Its not! I Love being able to write because its Fun! it lets me help others by creating something people can enjoy without My direct say. I love it when I see people take my story and view it their way, weither it be by them viewing a charater as One thing or another, or hell, the way they can see what a charater looks like, i intentonaly leave some details vague so readers can fill in the dots with their own ideas! I love that. I want people to Engage, Find their own Versions of what my characters look like, so they can explore them in ways they want. but its been Five Months since I have Made A propper chapter on Workaholics In space, and THAT fucking mess is... fuck it, lets talk about it. Cut to At least a year back, I was a dumbass, and while cleaning space In my Computer to download a game, I was cleaning off old Microsoft stuff, Old versions that were clogging space, welp Since Microsoft names all their shit the FUCKING SAME, Yes im still bitter,

I ended up deleting Microsoft word, My Personal Choice for Writting.... Yep, so for about two weeks I was not able to Write... at all, since I refuse to Use google docks. So I eventualy found a workaround, through Opora browser I could access Mircrosft office, and throught THAT use Mircrosoft word. So that was how I wrote Workaholics In space for Until About Five months back, when Microsoft Onedrive, Im sensing a patern, Decided to Desinc, and I was not able to use Microsoft word at all.... fuck my life moment right then. so, i used it as a break, announced that Workaholics In space was On Haiutus, and tried to find a workaround to Use Microsoft word in the meantime. cut to about a Month back when After working with A few close family members, which init of itself took some time, Lo and behold that IN less than thirty fucking Minutes my mother Fixes it, Redownloads Microsoft word, and bam, Problem fixed.... So much frustration and Irritation, for DEITIES knows how long I had to use a fucked Jury rig of a workaround and Suddenly BAM, fixed.... its fun when life decides you get to have fun, and when to Kick your teeth in. So, now where back here, to the present, with me unable to write at the moment, either due to not having time, Not writting for other reasons, or just wanting to but being unable... at least my rant so far has been Entertaining.... welp, Im tired, and as of writting Its Midnight, so im going to Fucking sleep. Good night Whoever reads this, or good morning, may your cats meow or some good luck shit.

[calowlmitygoddess]

by @/creatackers Mic. Oc related questions!

* Who was your first ever OC? Do you still “use” them? How have they evolved over time? The first oc i had was a self insert named simply Dragon-Girl, eventually i gave her a real name but it was still based on my irl name. Nowadays while she still exists in one of my stories, she's a background myth, a primordial god-figure known as The Archivist

Who is your newest OC? Why did you make them? My PC character in Baldur's gate 3, they're a red dragonborn sorcerer with gold dragon heritage and i think they are neat

Biggest self-insert OC? Intentionally, the first oc mentioned, accidentally i think Aster, he's like THE most wish-fulfilment character i have

What kind of music do your OCs listen to? I have so many characters it really depends. None of them listen to anything out there tough

What are some of your OCs biggest fears? I remember i used to have a character with a very specific fear , but i dont remember who or what it was .w.

Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them? Yes, so many, i try my best to fit characters in stories but since i also like to design/buy designs from others i ended up with quite the backlog of unused characters. Ideally all of them would have their turn to shine, but thats unlikely

What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!) SO many. Akila Shadlan and Ryu sibling fuckery, Akila and Althia toxic old woman yuri, Erigon, Kyran and Garlasia Epic codependency, Imay and Hiraki sibling fuckery, Aster and Raine marriage goals. ANd ofc the stars of my current wip, Meira, Wisteria and Orick, The avatar of relationships, able to contain fluff and angst in equal measures

Do you have any OC family trees? YEs, i have an unfinished one, for my old project, and in fact all main characters in that story are somewhat related since they all are connected to the three god siblings

Favourite OC? Akila, she has been living rent free in my mind for like 3 years now. Shes my poor meow meow, my rotten soldier, my silly little boy, my blorbo if you will. Shes the main force behind the story she is for and i think i did a good job with her character.

OC you most struggled to make? at first, Wisteria i think. She felt very flat as her first concept was just 'nice queen everyone loves' but now that ive spiced her up a little she has unfolded.

* Sum up one or more of your wips! My Big Wip that wont see the light of day in years but lives in my head rent free: Big Sibling Spat dooms the world. But then one of the siblings die and now the other two are very pissed and its everyone problem now. Wip two currently being worked on: Three idiots keep being put in Situations until they all fall in love

Which story took the most research? Imagine researching for any story LMAO

Which story has the most lore? Big wip, it has like 10 years worth of miscelanious lore.

Current word count of all your main wips? My only current wip is on almost 40k words wohoo

How many projects do you have going on right now? Are there any that you doubt you’ll ever finish? Currently one, the rest are all ideas i HOPE to get to one day, but i do worry i might not due to my skill level

What was you first major project? How far along is it? Currently working on it! just passed the halfway point a month ago and havent worked on it since

What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips? Female protagonists+ mostly female cast, Heavy fantasy, Trios, Dragons, Autistic coded Magic specialist guy in a relationship with a redish dragon-adjacent person.

Describe the setting of one or more of your wips Big wip is a heavy fantasy setting that takes place both in Hell dimention and Mortal dimention, its literally what you get when you google Fantasy Landscape, also a mix of tech/magic. Current wip is more lax, i imagine it being a mix of medieval-pre industrial aesthetic, there are some big technologic developments happening but still very early.

What are some things that inspired your stories? Real events? Maybe a dream? Many things, so many things. Mostly other media. Current wip started as a HK fanfic idea i had.

What story are you the proudest of? Why? Big Wip even tought it doesnt really exist, is the one im most passionate about. Current Wip has grown on me tought, thought my satisfaction with it fluctuates, im proud that it exist in some form, but deeply unsatisfied with how...flat some of it is

* When did you start considering yourself a writer/artist? somewhere back in my teens, i think;

What are all the “kinds” of writing/art you do? (short stories, poetry, screenplays, digital, painting, clay, etc.) I draw aside from writing prose. Tried picking up other artistic hobbies like sculpiting and piano but those felt trought

Are you in any writer/artist groups? (Ex: discord server!) a few!

Do you have/want a career in your medium? If not, what do you do/want to do instead? No, i tried and it made me deeply unhappy. Im now hoping to be able to go into paleontology.

What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read? FANTASYYYYY FANTASYYYYY, im a fantasy conosceur, the fact my wip is a more grounded romance thing makes me want to chew drywalls

What are your favourite books? My confort books are the Seven Realm series, very confy fantasy. The Locked Tomb is the one i love the prose the most, absolutely insane series.

What are your favourite movies? i dont really watch movies, really do like the first how to train your dragon movie

Favourite songs at the moment? depends on the moment, not really listening to any on repeat rn

What was your first fandom you were in? Did you make any art/fanfic for it? Voltron Legendary Defender, did art exclusively of my queen, my beloved Honerva

How are you doing? <3 pretty good!

[harley-style]

As an aventurine fan, i'd like to try my hand at answering your questions!

Disclaimer: i cant claim all of this is correct, but theyre all from my own interpretation and what i remember other people have been saying. I am also not very good at psycho analysis, but i am a writer, so this will naturally reflect how i interpret his character

Where is Aventurine's inferiority complex? - interestingly enough, this only becomes apparent once "aventurine" brings it up and you, as the viewer, think back to all the times aventurine has acted up. Yknow how people will try to make themselves look bigger in order to hide their insecurities? That's aventurine. He's attributed all his good qualities in his luck and doesnt put value in his other traits -- he often downplays his own intelligence, in fact. Outside his luck, aventurine quite plainly doesnt recognize his own value as an extremely charismatic, adaptive, cunning strategist bc he always defaults things going well on his "luck". Which, sure, hes genuinely very lucky, but take his plan with the three cornerstones. Being "lucky" doesnt work if the enemy catches on, it simply becomes a battle of wits. Aventurine counts himself lucky that sunday wasnt smart enough to be able to discover that he didnt get the aventurine stone -- but it was actually because aventurine was able to predict sunday's character and personality enough to create and execute a plan (with ratios help) that used sunday to his advantage. That isnt luck. That is the work of a talented strategist.

Does Aventurine want to die? Hes got a very strong fatalist/suicidal mindset. His entire perosnality, from the trailers to his dialogue, all paint him as an extremely reckless guy, especially with his own life. In Final Victory, he shoots himself 6 times with the revolver to prove that luck was on his side, when normally shooting yourself should induce SOME fear, he welcomes it with open arms. He also states to have tested dying in the Dreamscape MULTIPLE TIMES (help) only to wake up in the Reverie, which displays a disturbing lack of concern for his own life. It's like he doesn't care. You add this with the fact that his backstory states that hes nothing more than property or a servant to both his ex-master and the IPC, and you can make a horrifying conclusion that maybe, just a little, the only way he sees getting out of the fate he's been dealt is to die. But then, he says his goal was to prove death WASN'T possible in Penacony and -- it isn't, of course. But its implied that there are multiple cases of people in comas holding out for an amount of time before their bodies give up on them. Thats more of an interesting side note, the main thing here is that it's uncertain. Aventurine doesnt know whether hes going to make it out alive, yet, knowing this, he still risked it anyway. We should also note that his desire and goals are different here. In my perspective, hes likely to try and break free from the IPC, going so far as to accept the death mission from them to give the company a chance for negotiation on penacony. Because the goal coincides with his desire, and he's very good at using every advantage he has at his disposal. To me, his "want to die" is merely just that dying is an acceptable consequence of shedding the leash the IPC has on him.

As for the religion thing, I think its moreso because its his culture. He grew up with it, and he has definite proof of Gaiathras existence in the form of his extremely apparent good fortune. I don't think anyone would let go of their traditions, much less Kakavasha, who was raised to respect and give thanks to the blessings bestowed upon him by his god. Yes, of course he questions it at some points, but havent we all done that at some point?

Is good fortune a blessing or a curse? If you observe the way the story progressed, its both. It's viewed as a blessing by the Avgin, and in its rawest form, it does indeed give Aventurine a fuckton of nice and shiny shit, and he always wins. But that luck also drives him into isolation -- his extreme good luck meant that while he came out relatively unscathed, the rest of his people died. Thats super fucked up, if you think about it.

This is a bit of a gray area, but as ive mentioned before he's not...actually, WILLINGLY a part of the IPC. Someone on youtube speculated that the IPC were the ones who orchestrated that whole slave thing -- or at least, some division of the IPC because the company is so big its not actually united in what they want to achieve so like. Make of that what you will. But the reason i think this is the case is because of how theyre described-- the men in black. This is how the avgin describe the IPC, and interestingly, how his Ex-master describes the people who sold aventurine. Later on, Jade comes into the picture and tells aventurine that the ipc will give him what he wants and what he doesnt want. All kakashava wanted was 30 Tanba, presumably to accumulate that meager money into a fortune. So its not even HIS proposed deal, its the IPC's. I think that aventurine has a neutral-negative outlook of the company. He does see its uses, and has flourished underneath it, but doesnt glorify it like topaz does.

Why were his Past and Future there? Its the dreamscape, and he was under the influence of the harmony. He does in fact call his "Future", newborn of the harmony. But more than that, i think those two were some kind of weird, life-flash-before-your-eyes thing where the dreamscape took those potent memories and made a temporary person, his Past. His Future on the other hand, its, yknow, harmony. Or rather, what his future might have looked like or potential to be if he succumbs to the harmony....or something. This last part is what im most unsure about, im not rlly an expert. But it does serve a narrative purpose to have aventurine confront his own existence, with himself symbolizing the present. He says good bye to Kakavasha, "Aventurine" goes on ahead, and all thats left for Aventurine to do is to play his part.

Aaaannnnd thats it! I hope it wasnt too bothersome to read through. Not sure if i was able to explain it properly, or even correctly, but if anyone else has something to add, please feel free to do so!

Absolutely insane how I can do Genshin character analysis so easily, but have no clue what's going on with HSR's.

For Aventurine, they say he has a inferiority complex, but where does it show that? They say he wants to die, but didn't he go through his whole scheme to use that 'death' to gain access to the Penacony backrooms? Why does he still find comfort in the god of his youth? If I were blessed with such good luck that I survived the destruction of my race, would that be a blessing or a curse? Some people say he wants to break free of the preservation, but why? Some people say he broke free of being a slave, but didn't he do that when he became part of the IPC? What was the point in showing his past? What was the point in showing his future?

I just don't understand.

[daaziscoolbesties]

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ��⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.

[shoezuki]

Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

[antiresperidoneclub]

i havent posted anything in awhile but happy pride month yall! and, very much in me fashion imma take this time ta make another informational post! this installment is called

why assimilation is overall harmful to the queer community + the damage of pseudo-right wing ideas spread thruout the trans community!

CW: queerphobia, transmedicalism, bl*ir wh*te, k*lvin g*rrah, violence against queer ppl.

so, where do we start?

assimilation, what is it?

assimilation is a deliberate effort made by a minority/ marginalized group to (instead of become free) join the majority/privledged, which is wildly more accesible ta abled nuerotypical cis white lgb folks.

now, how does that apply ta th queer community? before that, we hafta look at th stark distinction between th LGBT community and th QUEER community.

because sadly its now different

imma make this as short as possible but basically,

despite its intentions when it was formed decades ago, th LGBT communiy an th way it functions is percieved is different. case in point, th term LGBT has been heavily gentrified and commodified especially by corporations tryina sell it to non-lgbt audiences. youll notice a majority of LGBT voices an advocates are usually white cis lgb ppls or are assimilationists. th term LGBT aswell has been heavily diluted and decontexualized from its roots, such as fightin for rights wit riots an demonstrations, bein heavily tied wit black an indigenous liberation, socialist ideals and memorializing th struggle for our freedom. its also (as apart of its gentrification) is bein forced ta be more 'family friendly' in an effort of control an ta make cash off of us an further assimilate us.

the QUEER community is a somewhat niche nowadays as it sticks fairly close ta th original goals as th LGBT community once had. such as wantin an willin ta fight for liberation rather than succumb ta assimilation. its also seen as a threat as it directly challenges th authority (capitlism, cops/military, goverment, white supremacy, fascism) for its mistreatment an oppresion against queer ppl and other marginalized groups. if th LGBT community is th privledged assimilations that can be proffited off of, then th queer community is more alike 'outcasts' or 'rejects' that arent as palatable ta a cishet majority ie; trans women/ trans/queer ppls of colour, more radicalized queer folks, or those impoverished.

so, with that said, how has/does assimilation harm queer ppl?

as i said, assimilation is disspraportionatly accesible ta able-bodied, neurotypical, cis, non-poor white LGB ppls (shocker) meaning th majority of queer poc, trans people, impoverished, and diasbaled/neurodivergent folks get left behind and continuosly stomped on in an attempt ta eradicate us. and it should be noted theres 2 types of assimilation

1. forced assimilation; forced assimilation is where marginalized ppls thru cultural eradication/genocide r forced ta strip themselves of their identity an join th majority which results in oppresion, discrimination, an further erasure of th ppls themselves. this is heavily seen within th queer community wit th AIDS crisis where those who survived were later branded as 'brave' by th very system that sought their demise in th first place, leavin our community in shambles.

2. chosen assimilation; chosen assimilation is where usually a small group/ or a singular person will disregard their people in an a attempt ta be spared from oppresion or discrimination. in terms of queer ppl (especially trans folks) th main contendors r blair white, kalvin garrah, an buck angel. blair is a stellar example of attempted assimilation. she not only rejetcs, but constantly puts her own people on blast publicly ta her audince of white cishet conservatives an (more often than not) fascists. not only that but she deliberatly associates wit th very ppl who seek her erasure an oppresion in an assbackwards attempt at salvation. more concrete examples include 1. showin herself as 'one of th good ones' or 'normal' 2. acting as if shes cishet 3. constantly self-hating ta appease those mentioned above 4. spewing dangerous an misinormed rhetoric aimed at trans ppls which directly affects trans poc an non-passing trans women. next, kalvin garrah. i was gonna write a whole thing on him but instead ill (below) link copshatemoe's videos about him.

so, now that we know how assimilation both forced an personal harms queer ppls in general, what about trans ppls an th trans community?

transmedicalism and its disasterous effects towards the trans community.

transmedicalism is a belif system of sorts that follows ideals such as

beliving trans ppls must be suffering from dysphoria to be trans

a trans person must want to transition to be trans

being trans is a mental illness/ neurological condition/ birth defect cause by unbalanced horomone levels or th existence of "male and female brains"

belivies HRT or surgerys are a 'cure' for dysphoria/ 'transness'

that neopronouns or non-lesbian, gay, bisexual, or binary trans folks are invalid or 'wannabes' who see th "lgbt community as a club of sorts to join jus because"

borderline or blatant rascist, transmysoginistic, ableist rhetoric.

intentional or not, that assimilation is key an becomin 'as close ta bein cis as possible' is th goal of transition.

now, i could spend ages rantin about how these belifs are blatently wrong but however rather than disecting them lets jus go over th direct harm these belifs have caused th trans community.

lets start wit nonbinary folks. nowadays as ive seen transmedicalism has become more open ta acceptin nonbinary folks but regardless they were one of th first punchin bags. since bein nonbinary in any facet isnt exactly 'medically sustained' its already seen as bullshit, but past that it opens th gates for neoprounouns an non-convetional identitys. enby ppls would be attacked constantly or called "trenders" in an attempt ta discourage them from even existing. this 'highschool bully' type of mentality along wit th superiority complex behind transmedicalism created a stark divide between "normal" trans ppls an th "weirdo, faker" trans ppls. not only did these attacks further stigmatize an already oppresed minority but also forced ppl ta hide themselves from they own community ta avoid ridicule an bullying. this type of harrasment has left these ppls wit trauma an fear of they identity bein challenged not only online but also in IRL queer spaces while they already hafta stay hypervigilant around cis ppl, now it seems th same around binary trans folks. not only have nonbinary ppls have been impacted however, binary trans ppls were left wit insecurities, wonderin if they dysphoria is 'rlly that bad compared ta others' and worrying about things they usually didnt care about. probably th biggest of those is 'passing'. passing is th action of looking as cis as possible ta blend in an avoid general treatments sustained by cishet ppls. i as a transwomen was directly affected by this rhetoric which caused me years of my transition spent not becomin myself, but becomin as close ta a cis girl as possible. this lead me ta become embarresed by my own community also factored in by havin virtually no trans friends IRL. this was th shared experince of many binary trans folks an nonbinary trans folks i know an am friends with. in conclusion, transmedicalsim has not only ostrasized an traumatized queer folks, but has also left insecurities an damage ta binaty trans folks aswell.

so, with that in mind, how do we combat, well, all of this an much more?

liberation

liberation is th action of freeing a marginalized group from its oppresive chains. an how would this look/work for th queer community?

majority of cishet ppls think that queer liberation ended wit marriage equality but thats very much not true. multiple basic human freedoms have been stripped from not only cis lgb queers but also trans people aswell. rights such as affordable housing witout discrimination, medical options for trans people being completly accesible or downright free, safe spaces or areas where were able ta exist free of fear of persecution or discrimination, better healthcare treatment towards queer ppl, things sometimes neccisary ta ones transition bein more accesible such as name/document changes, and many more things. but remember, none of this is possible witout ingigenous liberation/land back, black liberation, or under capitlism

anyways, i have 0 way ta end this so happy pride month an a very happy juneteenth!! if ur black ur more than welcome ta leave any gofundmes, cashapps, venmos etc in th notes or reblogs!

also, if you have any additions or points/topics i shouldve made or covered pls reblog wit them!

-alexis

[zorbs]

so the whole. american coach getting kicked off his team. they said that like. they got rid of him because black genes are naturally superior to white genes??

which um. i do genuinely think the goal of this was to go "black people are not lesser than white people" but yknow! literal eugenics was not the way to go about it, and the intent doesnt excuse that. and poc shouldnt have to be Genetically Superior to not be treated like utter shit. u should not b racist because like. poc are human beings. got nothing to do with "physically superior black genes" or whatever

but wait rads! arent the main characters asian? yes....

so. what are asians according to the manga's weird eugenics thing. um. we're like. rock bottom ! "isn't. isn't the creator asian" yeah. yeah. thats the main reason why i think the whole thing is Like That because of a Lot of ignorance, poor education on race, and internalized racism. a lot of manga/anime handles race poorly in the sense that theyre intentionally making a mockery of other poc/other asians, but my guy is saying. essentially like.

"asians r naturally smaller weaker and worse at sports than all the other races such as american and black. however we are strong and still worthy so we can overcome our natural inferiority through hard work" which. 1) untrue ?? thats eugenics haha. haha. 2) ive always wondered what that made me as an asian american. cause yknow. american isnt a race. so like. where do the eugenics place me. 3) its clearly attempting to get at the idea of "all races are made up of good people" but just. *gestures at that huge lump of "my being asian makes me naturally inferior to everyone else and i must work hard and train hard to defeat my terrible asian genes"* there is some Internalized Racism.

so. in essense.

they tried to do anti racism but came all the way back around and were racist again. Regardless. regardless !!!!! regardless of the intent its still. bad. for yknow. mainly eugenics. and the thing in the last ask. and probably other things (its been a very long time since ive read it, ive just begun to reread it to get a refresher). it just. makes me sad ! because i thought it was going someplace but. the creator was Not educated enough on the subject of race to get things there and it ended up saying instead of "poc are worthy of love and respect for being people" it was more like "poc are worthy of love and respect if they prove themself first. black people are people because of the stereotype that i believe that black people's dna makes them better at sports. and asians are only worthy in sports if they overcome their suckass asian genes that make them naturally inferior." and god forbid! god forbid anyone mention other races that Exist.

i mean. if u want to read it i think outside of the [gestures to giant burning pile of flames that is. that.] i enjoyed reading it? but like. id say i probably wouldnt have read it if i had started it later in my life knowing this so i wouldnt have to deal with thinking about if its okay to consume this media but that feels like. cowardly. its flaws have me think about Things A Lot but also just. ew. like. the flaws are Flaws with capital F. im glad i Think About These Things cause they Should Be Thought About or else [gestures once again] but also :( :( :( :(

the story and manga is really special to me (once again. i cried ! ) but!!! gosh theres so much wrong with it hfmmd.fm.....

i hope this makes sense once again super sorry for typing forever i just havent been able to talk ab this with someone before

wow okay. i totally do understand what you’re saying it does make sense. and from what you’re saying i do believe that the creator probably didn’t mean for it to come off the way it did. it’s just unfortunate he went about writing on these topics this way. i think for me personally this might make me too uncomfortable to read then if i’m being honest. i’m glad that you enjoyed it when you first read it besides Those Parts though

[lupinzapezit]

hello i thought it was probably time for a state of the blog update so,,, if you wanna know where ive been and whats happening read below (tw for mental health / s.uicide mentions)

if you do read, please like this post just for my own knowledge

okay so first of all i rly hate to be making this post because i absolutely hate being that person in the rpc who just constantly whines and guilt trips people over their own mental health without taking steps irl to work on it. im not gonna go into a lot of detail bc frankly its a lot and i dont super feel like it. (also i feel like its only kinda acceptable when the Big Blogs post a lot of ooc which i am definitely not, like my value is only tied to how much content i output but thats something im working on in my own time and not anyones fault persay)

basically i had a lot of shit happen at the end of 2019 that cause me to go into a very low period and while i was working on improving from that time, obviously the world had different plans plus last year was my final year of uni. i moved out in february this year in the hopes that it would continue to help me heal but along with the fallout of some other events, it’s left me incredibly alone and with a fraction of the support network i once had. june was extremely rough for me where i attempted twice and nearly didnt make it to my 21st birthday.

pretty much with working in customer service and australia being in and out of lockdown constantly (which makes my work much busier because people contact us when they cant go into stores), ive barely had any room to breathe or to try and work through things? and because writing is tied to my goal career of film and thats been difficult as well, you can probably guess why ive been struggling lately to be on tumblr and to write.

now dont get me wrong i adore my muses and being able to write. bucky has been an extremely fun and interesting character for me to explore. i literally never thought i’d end up writing a marvel muse and its caused a lot of hesitation due to how i approach him and feeling insecure. which is fine! thats natural! and ive been doing my best not to project those insecurities onto the dash and my partners but because of how poor my mental health is lately, that means ive just been very inactive. tumblr has always felt like a place where if you’re not constantly active then you lose people and while i know that’s not necessarily the case, it’s still a struggle. when i am here, it just feels like yelling into a void which is not a great motivator.

so what does this actually mean? tbh i’m still trying to figure that out. i made this blog initially with the intent of it being quite small and focused on character exploration n the like and i do still want to keep that goal. there’s a lot to bucky i still very much want to write and explore which i havent because of various reasons. i dont necessarily want to leave but i feel increasingly unsure about my presence which sucks because i have made some very good friends in the last year and a bit stint ive had on tumblr since leaving my old main rpc. i dont really want to give up this passion. 

for the time being, i’m probably still going to be low activity and my presence on the dash will be minimal. if that turns you off, feel free to soft block or unfollow. you can tailor your own experience the way you want. replies are probably going to be more queued and i wanna put a stronger emphasis on longer threads and character/dynamic development as i originally intended. again thats not everyone’s cup of tea so if you wanna leave then feel free. but atm i dont really feel connected to my partners and mutuals which sucks and i wanna improve on that. btw if you are reading this and youre down with this, message me and say hi!! i know that tumblr rp has developed this culture of not approaching people (and i struggle w this too) but the easiest way to plot with me is just to ask.

so yeah! tldr; brain extremely sucks, been feeling very disconnected and uncertain about my muse/writing capabilities/general self esteem, trying to work on that by taking things at my own pace and having bigger threads/metas more infrequently. i’ll still be more active on discord of course but hopefully these steps will help me feel a bit better about being here. 

thanks for reading all of this if you did, i really appreciate it :)

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

[intomybubble]

ever since they decided to jump into year 2 of the main story, i havent been able to use my spreadsheets to track my event points and im glad i can finally do so again. but its only been a couple hours, so i cant fill it in until tomorrow

this is normally how they look like when filled in, and i already have a page set up for all the year 2 events that i made a few months back

so! one of my goals for this event, other than reaching 1.3 million for that ssr token, is to fill out the support cards on my main account’s roster. the ◎ is for the unbloomed version and the ✿ is for the bloomed version. the dashed border are for cards i have on my main account, and the regular lined border are cards only my side account has.

oh and im super happy i had a ton of gold trophies saved up to train all my supports. with how many there are, idk what teams to work with but i’ll probably have that figured out in a few days.

lastly, i made a spreadsheets of the available cards from revival tryouts so i can figure out what i already have and what i need. for the ssr cards, the background color is the same as their attribute (look at the corners...)

from this event’s point rewards, you can get two R tokens (40,000 / 120,000 pts), and one SR (800,000 pts) and SSR (1,300,000 pts) token. since i usually rank in the top 5%, from ranking rewards i’d get 3 R tokens and 1 SSR and SR token. so in total: 5 R cards, and 2 SR and SSR cards. the top 10% rewards are basically the same, just with one less R token

im still thinking about which ssr cards i think i want hisoka and sakuya’s since i need their cards in those attributes, but i already have a copy of yuki’s and i’d really like to bloom it... for sr cards, i think i’m pretty much settled on getting sakuya and itaru’s.

[ohsweetflips]

(Part 1)I freaking am in love with how the writers tackled Zuko's betrayal cause while it is a slap in the face, it makes sense in so many ways. Like Zuko during his exile and search had one clear goal, Find the Avatar and Return Home. That plan would let him regain his honour and let him go back to the life he knew. Even if his life was shitty and abusive, it was atleast something he knew. Same way he knee that the fire nation was "superior" and the war was "justified". This a path he knows

(Part 2) well. But in season 2, boy has got people who geuninely like him and care for him and can guide. He's seeing the havoc and pain of the war, of his father's decisions. He is seeing a new path laid infront of him, to rebel and hope. To capture the Avatar and rrgain his honour was a path he knew in every aspect, he go home and regain honour and be loved. But if he chooses this new path, all he has is hope. He doesnt know if its his destiny or if he will even survive on the "weaker" side

(Part 3) All he could have is what the main gang has been living on since the begining to power them through and to fight back, Hope. Zuko took the path he knew, a path of pain and abuse and that the people with power always win. The ending to me is that quote from Sharp Objects "A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort." Ajckc sjjsvhxis thats just my take on book 2's ending

YEAH like!!! that betrayal hurt so badly for so many reasons (iroh, the changes we have seen in zuko, how it felt like he should side with the gaang, etc.) but!!!! the way i looked at it, it was zuko finally having everything he ever wanted in front of him and realizing that his ticket to honor/his destiny was right there!!! and, w/ the help of azula, he’d be unstoppable, so he’d endure it all bc he would have everything he’s been looking for. 

but also!! everything you said!!!! like i hadn’t even thought of it, bc yes zuko siding aganist azula/the fire nation would mean freedom, but it would also mean instability. like, for years, zuko’s mindset has been “if i capture the avatar, i can go home” and, even if he didn’t capture the avatar, he and azula just took over ba sing se, something that no fire nation army has been able to do for a century. so like!!! zuko def sees the fire nation as a more “stable” choice bc he Knows what he’s getting out of it, meanwhile if he sided against them, he would have No Clue what comes next (which even iroh pointed out, zuko never plans for what comes next)

like!!! god i have spent all last night and all today thinking about this. this situation is so layered, i can’t even get my thoughts in proper order omg. there’s so much i want to talk abt!!!!! like the betrayal iroh must feel, how zuko had now met people who had their lives destroyed by the fire nation, how he spent the entire season running away from azula, how the gaang was working together w/ iroh to save katara and zuko, aang having saved zuko’s life before, etc, etc, etc.

just.......... it all hurts so much and it’s so fucking good omfg

and the best part is!!! it really was still in character!!!!! like while i was convinced that zuko was going to side with aang + co, looking back, it was never out of the question that he wouldn’t. the entire season, he’d been in conflict over what he wanted. he was losing hope and trying to rebuild a new life, but he never settled on what he was actually going to do.

and, thinking back? iroh telling him “you never think about what you do next!” honestly might have had some inverse affect bc, while iroh meant “you try to capture the avatar and, when you do, you don’t know what to do next!”, it very well could have also been interpreted as “okay, you’re free... what’s next?” and, by going back to the fire nation, zuko Knows (or at least thinks he knows) what comes next

it’s just........................ so fucking good, but that betrayal fucking hurts bc it feels so much more poignant and willing than s1 zuko

(please no book 3 spoilers, i havent started it yet!!!)