#so i have to remind her that that was 10 years ago and i didnt actually know her at the time

[singwhenyoucantspeak]

the temptation to go back and look at the Swan Queen AU I was writing that was *strongly* inspired by my now gf is crazy today but i also know there's a reason I never published it and also I'm sure it would be horrifically mortifying to be reminded of what that version of me was thinking LMAO

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita because I asked my friend to not name his kid the same name as my abusive dad because it triggers me?

✨👶🏼 so I notice myself, sorry but I have a mental disability so my grammar isn't great. Sorry if I sound weird.

So let's just call my friend Fred (23,he/him, trans man)and I'll call my dad's name Sven. Fred has one other child(1,m) who I'll call Winston and Fred's newest child (Unborn lol, we know its another boy) is with one of his partners Brooke(22, They/She, transfem nb girl). I also offhandedly mention my partner Rosey(25, Any pronouns, Genderfluid) a few times, Fred's other partner Alan (20s?, He/him, Trans man), and lastly Me (24, He/she, Genderfluid).

Me and Fred have been bffs for like 7 or 8 years and I and Rosey are godparents to Winston and Fred got pregnant again. This time from one of his partners Brooke , Winston's other dad isnt in the picture. Me and Fred are super close (nearly dated at one point but it was before Fred and Brooke got together the first time and we are no longer interested in each other like that.) and I've been following both of Fred's pregnancies just to make sure everything is ok (I'm not encroaching, I just get text updates on appointments and stuff. Fred's first pregnancy was rough.).

Without going into a whole timeline, Fred and Brooke dated a couple years ago for about a year but Brooke raised a hand to hit Fred (never made contact nor any other physical abuse however they used it as a threat) and was controlling over him, they broke up and lost contact and over the last year/year and a half, rekindled and Brooke says they've changed and Fred trusts them again. I still don't like Brooke for obvious reasons but I'm being civil and trying to let them earn my trust again. So far their relationship is fine and it's not my place to muddle so until Fred sets off alarms that Brooke has gone back to their old ways, I'm trusting my friend's judgement. Brooke has been doing great through this pregnancy.

Fred knows the gest about what my dad put me through and how abusive he was to me. He knows I can't even be near cigarette smoke because it reminds me of him. However, Fred doesn't know his name. It's not because Fred doesn't want to, my dad's name just never came up and i didnt realize he didnt know his name till a few hours ago.

Me and Rosey sat in a call with Fred, Brooke and Alan while Fred and Brooke were brainstorming name ideas (They wanted our input). Brooke suggested the name Sven. I wanna be clear, Brooke doesn't know my dad's name either so I don't think this was a way of attacking me or something sinister. The name Sven is standing in for is a very common name in my country, though it's not popular for us gen Zers, it is common for my dad's generation.

I obviously froze up a bit due to the mention of his name and although Rosey tried to bring it up, Fred and his partners are kinda known for interrupting (Usually not viciously) and they didn't hear her. Fred and Brooke chatted happily about what a handsome name Sven was and how they might just decide to stick with it here and now but they wanted to hear other options. I waited out till the end of the call when Alan left (I don't know them so I didn't want to accidentally tell them personal things about my history of abuse) and told Fred that Sven was my dad's name.

Fred gasped and quickly said he wouldn't choose Sven and that he was sorry he forgot his name. Brooke however said that that was not a good enough reason to not consider a name they both dearly loved not 10 seconds ago. I tried to tell Brooke about why my dad was a bad person and some of the lighter things he'd done (not in a trauma dump explicit way, just in a he did *insert form of abuse* way) but they shut me down and said it was their kid to decide the name of. Fred told him he was also a vote in the name and he didn't want to upset me unnecessarily. Brooke said they were done with the conversation and Fred said they'd talk about it later. Fred then said to me and Rosey that he'd handle it and ended the call.

After about 30 mins, I got a couple of texts from Brooke and Alan that I was a jerk for trying to push my triggers onto other people and causing a fight between them and Fred and it wasn't my baby to name. (Alan doesn't live with Brooke and Fred so Brooke told Alan first what happened.) I decided not to answer for an hour or so because I was already worked up and they both essentially called me an asshole for overstepping. Fred just says hes gonna handle them but now I'm just confused.

I can see where I might of overstepped but I wasn't trying to be controlling and even if they would of picked Sven, i would of still respected it and tried my best to get over it as best i can. Was I pushing my problems on others or was I just letting a friend know what that name might be a bit painful for me when the name was just a suggestion? I don't think I'm TA but I wanna see if I'm missing something?

(I just realized rereading this that there is some important context to be added; Sven is not a sentimental name to Fred, Brooke or Alan. It's not a parents or grandparents name that might need carried on, it was just a name they liked. I checked with Fred to see if that explained Brooke's anger or something and Fred said no, they just liked Sven. There also hasn't been any hostility before this with Brooke or Alan so I'm not sure where all this anger came from.)

What are these acronyms?

[radiant-reid]

ok ok "how old are you? 29." "im 30." but spencer x reader. maybe they just started dating or have been together for a while and reader never mentions her birthday (either it didnt come up or she doesnt like her birthday bc of some personal reason or didn't want him to feel like he HAD to do something or get something for her yk), and so spencer does the math and hes like 'wait.... if we've been together for over a year now...... it had to have been her birthday at some point' and he makes it up to her 🥹

"Hey, I've been thinking about something," Spencer says as he sits down next to you on the couch, picking up your legs and putting them over your waist.

"Is this the breakup speech?" You joke, putting your book down so he has your full attention.

He doesn't find it as funny as you do. "You know we've been together for more than a year?"

You nod, unsure of where he's going. "Of course." How could you not remember the perfect celebration you'd had less than a month ago?

"But you haven't had a birthday." He tells you. It must have been a realization he's just had because he still looks shocked by it.

"Technically, I have." You admit, and he looks so hurt by it that you quickly explain yourself. "But it was two months into us dating. I thought it was weird to be like hey, you're now obligated to spend today with me and get me a present."

"I would have." He assures you like you don't know. "I would have done anything you wanted, and I still will."

You nod, squeezing his hand. "That's why I'm the luckiest person in the world." He still doesn't look convinced, and he's beating himself up about it. "It's okay, Spence. I really don't mind."

"We're going out." He announces. "And having a you day. Anything you want."

"We really don't need to, it's my birthday in a couple of weeks anyway." You remind him.

Spencer shakes his head, pushing your feet on the ground, standing up, and pulling you off the couch. "Nope, I'm already more than 10 months late. We're doing it today, and we'll do it next month too."

He's not going to take no for an answer, so you agree. "Okay. Starbucks first."

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.��� y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

[yuukei-yikes]

Hey vinnie! Really love your comics! I was wondering, what's your process when it comes to drawing them? Do you come up with dialogue first or draw the figures and piece together the dialogue, and how do you go about doing layouts?

this ask reminded me i have a whole ass "process vid" of THIS COMIC from over a year ago where u can see exactly what i do to plan that comic lol this is embarrassing i never thought id share it so do NOT be mean

i was curious myself how it looked which is why i made it heh this is 50 min of footage in almost 2 mins and idk why my superhero movie is the song of choice this is from a while ago OK... u can see i literally have no idea what im doing i just DOODLE i just go for it

i talk some more under the cut i <3 art but i am a serial doodler

i use the power of imagination a whole lot bc i have a pretty busy life so when i get an idea im like working it out in my mind as i live my normal ass life. when i actually do sit down to make it, first i sketch it all and will usually write certain bits in each "page"

its pretty similar. but as u can see i tend to skip some dialogues that im like. meh ill figure it out later. i just write what i know i wanted to add. and then i figure out the rest when i get to it, or i even change up what i already got, which results in it not being super planned. for example here i made ayano repeat "this is something..." in both her dialogues and i didnt realize until i finished and read the whole thing over but i was lazy to change it heh... but that was bc i write as i go and u can tell in mistakes like that.

as for layouts... erm i barely make actual layouts. this is kind of the same process for everything LOL except sometimes i feel like making actual boxes to put the characters in, but otherwise u can see that the majority of my comics are just all over the place like this. during the sketch i do separate it but then i try to divide it with only the speach bubbles. the layout where i put little boxes is when i dont mind making many pages, bc it fits less stuff.

otherwose i tend to do stuff like this:

which looks a lot more crowded. the reason is, i post here and on twitter (more amphibia on twitter) and since u have a limited amount of pics u can post (here in tumblr it used to be 10 pics), i wanted to fit as much as possible in only 1 page so it wouldnt be too many pics, and it morphed into this sort of layout that i became used to.

im a Go For It kinda guy when it comes to drawing. i like doodling and sketching and going with whatever i got first. the only reason i dont start the comic right away and even do the sketching first is bc i want to figure out where ill put everything, not so much bc im worried abt the art looking better in one or the other. as u can see the art is very similar in both cases

[suwbuns]

E-DATERS! | 3 am endeavours

SYPNOSIS. moving back to korea from america, y/n is excited to reunite with her old friends and make new ones. what she doesnt expect is to find herself reuniting with her “ex-boyfriend” from 10 years ago who she dated over minecraft. what makes things worse? he happens to be her favorite streamer who she has been pinning after for years.

written + ss below (not proofread)

perhaps you had gotten your hopes up.

it had already been a quarter past 2 am, the past 30 minutes consisting of pacing back and forth in your room, clad in pajamas and a pair of fuzzy socks. you glanced at the clock as every minute or two passed by, an acknowledgment that more time had passed yet not a single knock on your door had been heard.

the invasive thoughts of what couldve prompted beomgyus late arrival had taken over your brain, scenarios that made you gnaw at the inside of your cheek due to its absurdity. for all you knew, this couldve been a cruel joke that the boys decided to play on you, and within the next week, your face streaked with hot tears would be plastered onto the thumbnail of one of their videos.

yet a part of you still clung to the hope that maybe he got caught up with something and forgot to show up, although the loud snores from the boys who were asleep down the hall would have been a large enough reminder.

your feet soon grew tired of pacing and your head dizzy from overthinking. by 3 am, your back had been leaned against the headboard of your bed, eyes threatening to shut due to exhaustion. it wasn't until you heard the faint sound of a piece of paper being slid under your door, that the fatigue you felt had instantly vanished, your body immediately gravitating to the corner of your room to read it.

sorry i took so long, u awake?

— gyu

you didnt even give yourself the chance to surpress the raging smile that had formed across your lips, your hand moving faster than your brain as you swung the door wide open just for it to collide with a hard figure.

“ow!” you retracted the knob to reveal the owner of the voice, and just a few inches away stood a boy with a pained expression, his hand rubbing his forehead in order to soothe the searing pain.

“im so sorry!” you squeaked out a frightened apology, biting your lip in embarrassment as you guiltily stared up at him. without giving him a chance to respond, you urgently grabbed his hand and pulled him into your room, the side of your foot nudging against the door to close it shut. with your hand still attached to his own, you guided him to take a seat onto your bed, reaching out to touch his face in order to make sure there were no visible marks, in which luckily there were none.

the adrenaline you experienced quickly wore off as you realized the close proximity between you two. you wete secretly grateful for how dim the room was, your bedside lamp failing to expose the faint redness on your cheeks.

you cleared your throat, scooting an arms length from him which initiated a period of awkward silence, the only sound that could be heard were the distant snores that resounded in the hallway.

“so…” he started, shifting awkwardly on your bed, his eyes darting around the room in order to avoid eye contact.

“so…” you followed, staring intently at the boy who sat beside you. he wore a grey hoodie paired with plaid pajama pants, his dark hair hung messily over his eyes which made your heart soar over how effortlessly attractive he managed to look.

you didnt know how you got quite lucky, nor how you have been able to maintain sanity up until now. perhaps if it had been any other day prior to this moment, you would have been passed out cold on the floor from a heart attack due to being in the same room as choi beomgyu.

“what did you want to talk about?” you asked innocently, swinging your feet back and forth off the side of your bed. you watched his lips purse, opening them to say something then automatically closing them as if he lost his train of thought.

“nothing in particular, i just wanted to talk to you.” he said quietly, his voice barely audible for you to hear.

“really?”

“yeah.”

beomgyus trademarked loud and chaotic personality seemed non existent at this moment, being replaced with a shy boy with fluffy hair who happened to show more interest in playing with the hem of his sweater sleeve than you. the silence that surrounded the both of you felt suffocating, the urge to say something constantly tugged at the back of your throat yet no word managed to come out.

it didnt help that beomgyu was currently facing a similar dilemma. he was no stranger to this position that he undeniably seemed to always be in, in which he is confronted in what he could possibly say to you in order to interrupt the silence that grew more uncomfortable the longer it lasted.

“i think youre really cool” beomgyu blurted out, watching how your eyebrows raised in concern—possibly due to the fact that his tone came out a bit more aggressive than what he intended it to be.

“sorry, was that a little weird?” beomgyu added shyly, biting back his bottom lip to suppress the disappointed expression that was starting to form.

“what? of course not!” you exclaimed. “im actually a huge fan of you, ive been subscribed to you since the beginning of your channel.” you beamed at him, removing your phone from its charger to show him the evidence.

beomgyu pretended to act surprised at this supposedly new information, almost as if he didnt know about your massive crush on him, that your entire spam account had a dedicated lay out to him, and also the fact that you found him incredibly hot in flannels.

time passed by quickly while talking to beomgyu, the short compliment that he blurted out earlier had manifested into long conversations consisting of various pillow thoughts. by the time you realized how late it was, the both of you were lying down side by side with your backs sunk into the mattress, your shoulders pressed against eachothers. your eyes staring at the blank ceiling as you continued to chatter about various topics.

it didn’t feel like you were speaking to your long term idol, but rather a friend who youve known on your life. for some reason, it was like beomgyu knew you like the back of his own hand. he brought up topics that he somehow knew you were interested in, he listened to your stupid childhood stories, and he even would laugh at your unfunny jokes. it was a bond that had formed from an unusual circumstance, yet for some reason it just felt right.

“its so easy to talk to you,” you commented, the smile on your face not wearing off from the previous joke he made. you rolled onto your side to face beomgyu, watching his chest steadily rise and fall as he took each breath. “its like ive known you since forever, ive never got a long with somebody this fast before.”

“maybe its because you have” he voiced out silently, yet still audible enough for you to hear.

“what do you mean by that?” you questioned, eyes furrowing in confusion at his comment. you watched beomgyu turn his body to mimic your own position, your faces merely inches away from eachother, causing you to freeze in your current state. the light glow from bedside lamp reflected onto his face, illuminating his facial features. his eyes stared softly at yours, containing an emotion that you couldnt quite pinpoint.

“w-well,” he hesistated, contemplating his next response. “what if i told you that we have known eachother for a long time?”

you paused as you pondered the thought, trying to make sense of whatever he said to you. the silence that followed was deafening, so much that he was afraid that his own heartbeat was loud enough for you to hear it.

your soft laugh had thankfully cut the silence short, turning back to face the ceiling. “i wish. that would be crazy though, wouldnt it?”

“yeah, maybe.” beomgyu exhaled, glancing at your peaceful figure, a light smile spread across your face. it was a sight that he wasnt quite sure he was ready to give up yet, especially when he had just barely been able to form a friendship that he so desperately wanted to escalate into something more.

because with each moment that he spent with you, he sunk deeper into his problem. he knew that every second that drew him closer to you, would also contribute to the distance that would occur once you found out.

thats something that he doesnt know he would be ready for.

previous | masterlist | next

TAGLIST. @openingssequence @suburbiataehyung @shinypieceofgarbage @fairysoobx @koeuh @captivq @beowmgyu @qluvrv @ikaeryn @whippedforbeomgyu @i8lhee @heyanonymous123 @vanicogh @sulliefimmie @tae-ology @milkycloudtyg @ox1-lovesick @soobsfairy444 @sulliefimmie @jaxavance @peachenle @pokyloky @peachybeom @alpha-mommy69 @fatoompie @ashxxgyu @soobsdior @viagumi @rikismiel @luvsoobs @lovejunz @wccycc @enha-cafe @kaeslily @hiddenboopy @cashew00nut @merendis @reverbtunes @lcvesickgyuzz @dear-dreamie @fragmentationss @chuuinggummy @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @beomsbeanie @shigamiryuk @soobliss @woncheecks @sserafimez @ahnneyong @ghostfacefricker6969 @flrtsbin @beomomb @cathaerin (closed)

A/N. BYE THIS CHAPTER LITERALLY TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE AND ITS SO SHORT ☹️☹️

[aemondtargaryen]

HELLO i haven't finished yet the netflix show but what are your thoughts on young Úrsula? I read the book a couple of times but it was looong ago. I remember Úrsula as someone resigned to the inevitable. I certainly don't remember her so deeply in love with José Arcadio, and even less willing to have sex. I don't remember her as a sexual creature at all, despite the book having no problems getting into that.

I didnt like her that much the first part but i think her characterization improved a ton when she got older and switched actresses.

Also do you think they managed to achieve that magical realism feeling? Personally I don't think so and that makes me a little sad but despite all it was definetly a good show. Maybe the bar was too high probably.

I loved Aureliano though! Adult Aureliano was very Aurelianesque 10/10. Amaranta and Rebeca were excellent too!!

Im finally on my laptop yay!! Also when I got this ask I hadn't yet finished the show so now I can give a better answer (you probably also finished it too anon because I took years to answer lmao)

I actually liked young Ursula. She felt like I always imagined her, more than resigned, resilient. She always found a way to make things go her way, even when her husband wasn't present, she always pushed through (which is a pretty common situation in latin american households, women many times carry the burden of the house but in a tacit manner and thats how I think Ursula was portrayed). About the sex thing tbh I never got that reading from her. There's definitely some characters whose stories revolve more around sex but thats not what her story is about. However I feel she loved her husband all through her life and it shows in differents manners than just steamy sex scenes like Rebeca's.

On the magical realism I think you're right, some scenes could be perceived as being only inside the character's head for non book readers, when the purpose of magical realism is that they really are experiment those crazy phenomenons in their reality. I think they shied away a bit from it but many of the more iconic "magical" moments are still yet to come so there's hope.

Now my real pet peeve was the delivery of some of the lines. I think theres a lot of the dialogue that should have been said with more force, specially young Jose Arcadio and Ursula. They felt so calmed when I always imagined them if not yelling at least angry. Latinos are usually louder, or at least we venezuelans are. Maybe colombians aren't but I would like to think we aren't that different, so the flatness of the dialogues felt off sometimes. This too goes for the narrator.

Aureliano!! Aureliano IS 100 años de soledad so there was a lot of pressure both on the writers and the actor. Physically I think he's perfect. Also hot enough to pull that moustache lmao. Again I had some problems with the delivery of some lines at first where he just seemed too passive, but as soon as he became the Colonel everything changed (and maybe that was the idea now that I think about it). Although I gotta say the last couple of episodes made me realize that he kinda became a terrorist in the end and I hadnt caught up that in my readings (which were a lot, ive read that book like 5 or 6 times) and in my mind he always fought for justice but now seeing it again I can see he was just as corrupted by violence and power as Arcadio in the end. It did besmirch my perception of him a little, because it reminded me of whats going on currently in Colombia and the armed conflict and how he would fit right in with people from groups like the FARC. Sidenote: I think his relationship to Remedios was done masterfully, we know she's a child but the scenes were carried in a way no child actress had to be intimate with the actor.

Amaranta was great, I love how they managed to show Amaranta's two sides, the conniving vengative damaged soul, along with her maternal, calm, also damage soul lmao. Rebeca I think is the only casting that looked completely different to how I imagined her physically, but the actress did a good job portraying her.

All in all I think it was a really good adaptation, particularly for such a loved book and one with really high expectations. I think it was done in the best of moments because it was done with a high budget but with colombian actors and setting (looking at you Casa de los espiritus). Theres some things that could be improved but most of them are personal preferences. Its a really good show and I can't wait for season 2!

[heyybaejjk]

SAU, LA'U TAMA AULELEI !

Pairing: teen!miguel o'hara x fem samoan oc

Summary: Miguel loved being within his own space, but he still had three friends that were persistent.

warnings/notes: I haven't read the comics, so its OOC Miguel :( mb gng. not much of reader x miguel just yettt. profanity, awkward moment

series masterlist

Everyone at school loves Multicultural day: The day where students are able to showcase a few variations from their culture, whether it be food, a dance, or a song. The day Multicultural day was announced, students who chose to participate in performing had 3 weeks to come up with something to show on the day.

Miguel loved being within his own space, but he still had three friends that were persistent. Every day since the announcement, his friends in their shared group chat sent a daily reminder to Miguel, and Miguel only, knowing his anti-social ass wouldn't show up unless they annoyed him enough to do so.

(M.Ohara_99) mahi_sniffer has mentioned you in pussy eaterssssss

Miguel groans at his phone in his hand, as he pushes the trolley in front of him even faster, speeding up so his mother that was beside wouldn't see his lit up notification. Swiftly typing with one hand.

mahi_sniffer: @M.Ohara_99 usi, you coming tmr?

M.Ohara_99: David, what the hell have I told you about our group chat name? My mum can see everything you type.

M.Ohara_99: I know what usi means. I've hung out around you idiots to know enough.

mahi_sniffer: mann 😞 it was fun when you were a plastic samoan mig

M.Ohara_99: I'm not Samoan

aluaigioukae: usi is a Tongan word stupid ass

mahi_sniffer: ohh u right

aluaigioukae: HOW DO YK NOT KNOW LOL UR TONGAN URSELF

mahi_sniffer: mb, thats what happens when im around your samoan speaking ass missus too much HAHAHA

aluaigioukae: stfu

mahi_sniffer: ilyt

mahi_sniffer: ANYWAY.

mahi_sniffer: miguel bruh, come tmr pls

M.Ohara_99: no

mahi_sniffer: pls

M.Ohara_99: no

mahi_sniffer: i'll buy you food

M.Ohara_99: no

mahi_sniffer: YOU DIDNT LET ME FINISH MF.

mahi_sniffer: as i was saying 🌝

mahi_sniffer: I'll buy you food for a week, even at our expensive and very overpriced canteen because you're my bestest friend in the world and because kiuga is a dog😞😞😞😞😞😞💔💔💔

aluaigioukae: WHAT DID I DO

M.Ohara_99: okay. see you tomorrow.

mahi_sniffer: IT WOKRED.

aluaigioukae: worked***

mahi_sniffer: fuck uppp, bet ur freshie ass missus can't spell that either

bololicker: can you both stfu

bololicker: @M.Ohara_99 I got you something to wear for tomorrow

M.Ohara_99: Nevermind, I'm not coming.

mahi_sniffer: YOU JUST SAID YES LIKE A WHOLE MINUTE AGO WHAT

Miguel chuckles to himself while smiling at his phone, abruptly coming to a stop when he feels the trolley crash into something. He looks up with widened eyes, seeing a bunch of packets and vegetables on the floor along with a basket.

"U-uh, fuck. I am so, so sorry," He apologizes instantly, shoving his phone into the middle pocket of his jumper loosely, making his way in front of the figure before getting on to his knees and picking everything up, paying no mind to who it was. Mentally cursing at himself as his knees click loudly, wanting to drown himself as he hears a soft giggle. He was grateful that whoever it was couldn't see his face, because his embarrassment grew even more and his face morphed into a little: 0-0. He grabbed everything and placed them neatly back into the basket before getting up and handing them to the person. Only to be face to face with her.

Fuck.

Manaia Fepuleai. The very girl that may have, or may have not piqued Miguel's interest since the very start of senior year. As well as year 11, 10, 9, 8, and 7...

Miguel found himself standing still in his spot like a complete idiot. This very moment was something he planned out as one of those scenarios he thinks of before going sleep. Always thinking of a plan if he ever sees her in public, that being: flirt.

"Hey, it's okay," Manaia smiled with kindness, sending a sense of relief down his body, though, he still couldn't help that little ink of a feeling of wanting to jump off a cliff.

"You okay? Hope my big basket didn't hurt you," she joked simply, covering her mouth with the back of her palm, the other hand holding the basket. Miguel looked back at Manaia dumbfounded. Looking back at the trolley he was previously pushing and the very obviously, smaller basket in her hand.

"Wh- huh?" He looked back awkwardly while she stood there with an uncomfortable silence, as well as an expecting look on her face. He stared at her for a few seconds with a straight face, braincells finally connecting and forming her words together.

"Oh- Ohhh!" "It was a joke."

The both of them spoke at the same time. She's the first one to speak, beating him and his cut-off apology.

This was going to be one of those embarrassing thoughts that makes him unable to sleep at night, indefinitely.

"You're so funny, Miguel," Manaia laughed once again, leaving Miguel unsure whether she was laughing at him thinking he was joking as well, but it didn't matter anymore. The somewhat awkward tension was gone, he thinks.

"So! Tomorrow.. Multicultural day, yaaaayyyyy.." Miguel slowly stretches the words while making jazz hands, smiling widely as she tried her best to contain her laughter.

Oh my fucking gosh, what the fuck am I doing, Miguel thought to himself.

"You're coming this year? Normally you'd skip out. I remember the other years when you wouldn't come."

"I- uh- well, I guess since it's our last year, I see no harm in going, I guess... Never knew you were so observant of me not coming."

Manaia feels her cheeks flush, smiling heavily as she pushes his shoulder playfully. Both smile shyly at each other.

"Shut up! I've got to get going, but I'd be happy to finally see you tomorrow. Me and the rest of the girls are going to be performing tomorrow."

"I'll come!" Miguel responded a bit too quick for his liking. Taking one step back, realising his excitement and awkwardness made them both stand so close. "Sorry. I mean, I'll come tomorrow for sure. If my friends manage to annoy me enough to come." He gives her a sincere smile.

She tilts her head playfully, a sly smile painted on her face, "I thought I'd be reason enough."

Miguel grew quiet, too flustered to hide his bashful smile. "We'll see tomorrow then."

M.Ohara_99 has sent a message to pussy eatersssss

M.Ohara_99: Disregard what I said, I am coming tomorrow.

bololicker: "disregard 🥸☝️"

aluaigioukae: AINGG SAY MUMS SOUL YOU'RE COMINGG

mahi_sniffer: whose ass do i need to eat to give my thanks , my daddy is coming after a whole hundred years 😖😖

M.Ohara_99: No one's. I'll see you all tomorrow.

mahi_sniffer: you reckon it was his missus??? you kno whoooo LOLOLO👀

aluaigioukae: did ms fepuleai finally talk to you into coming to see herrrrrrr

M.Ohara_99 has left the pussy eatersssss

bololicker: LMAO IT WAS, IT FUCKING WAS SEE

aluaigioukae has added M.Ohara_99 into pussy eaterssss

mahi_sniffer: we shall thank your future missus for the wonderful magic she placed on you

bololicker: amen, amen, amen

aluaigioukae: MANAIA 🔛🔝 ‼️ ‼️ ‼️

M.Ohara_99: Of me.

bololicker: OUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

mahi_sniffer: HE UNSENT IT LMAOOO

aluaigioukae: I ALREADY SCREENSHOTTED IT GUYS, DW DW DW

M.Ohara_99: Kefe

next chapter

andddd thats all from me for now!! i actually enjoyed this a lot. dont be afraid to leave a comment :DDD <33

likes, reblogs, a comment and a kind follow are much appreciated 😊💞

[maxinethevampirequeen]

LIS DE left me feeling weird? SPOILERS!!!

so i just finished the new life is strange game and wooo its defo the weakest in the series there will be spoilers in this so idk read if you wanna i just need to get this off my chest somewhere (also sorry in advance if stuff does not make sense this is just for me lol)

so the game opened really well i think the first 2 chapters that i got to play like 2 weeks ago because of the early access did get me hooked and i was really interested in who killed safi but that almost instantly lost its spark around the end of chapter 3 i think

safi being revealed to have powers is cool i think but i dont like how it kinda completely drops the murder plot for this weird revenge story for a character i hardly know thats been dead way before the game starts???

like cool i guess i care about safi so i want to help thats fine but how we never really get and answer for why max shot safi the first time idk if i missed it or whatever and how the detective guy was just kinda use as a fake threat to set up max to be scared of touching the other version of herself which instantly dosent matter because they fall and grab each other??? like why did he even have to die then also the fact that your choice to save him or let go does nothing he dies either way

and dont even get me started on how chloe is just teased through out the ENTIRE FUCKING GAME and then just fucking used as sequel bait!!!!! i really really like some parts of the game but i also really really dislike a lot of the parts

its not that i dont think the game is worth playing i think its okay but like ughhh it feels like the game was writen by a person who didnt play any other life is strange games and does not know anything about any of the characters

if this game was just a shitty sequel to life is strange 1 where we do gay shit with chloe i will admit i would have gobbled that shit up no matter how shitty the writing as long as the characters feel like the characters they were in the first game

i know max is older but god she does not seem like max at all its like we are playing a shell of max and the only thing that ties her to the old max is the very rare reminders of chloe and then they have the AUDACITY to have chloe text you at the end of the game!!!

like they know how much these characters mean to people and it just feels so fucking weird to not have the interact at all! they even have this thing half way through the game where max almost calls chloe! its like they were writing the game and were like

"this shit sucks lets dangle hope of a chloe interaction so they keep playing" because i think it really falls apart around the end i was really just waiting for it to end around half way through chapter 5

i really think the game is pretty and like a step up from the older games (obv its like 10 years newer lol) i really dont wanna sound like just a hater because i did enjoy most of my time with the game and as much as i wish it had been someone else and not max

i'm glad she's back because she is my favorite lis character! sorry for all the ramble i just needed to get this all off my chest i did like most of the game and i'm still interested in seeing where the story goes since "max will return" or whatever it said at the end

i wouldnt say i'm excited for the next game but i'm still interested but i think thats just coming from the fact that i will gobble up anything called life is strange also don't nod's newest game looks cool i'm excited for that too anyways peace out and sorry for the ramble!

also i wanna add i did not care for safi at all in the game i dont know why but she was the only character the game couldn't make me care about

This is all a thread i did on twitter where i just wrote what i felt without really thinking so if it doesn't make sense that's why lol

[raveneira]

Friendly reminder these are feats Sarada was pulling at 11-12, this isnt something new or groundbreaking & definitely doesnt scale her to Otsutsuki. If that were the case then that'd make her stronger than B0ruto who had to flee from them 😑 which your crazy if you think she is

A Chidori is not hard to dodge if you have the sharingan and reflexes to match it which Sarada does, why I bring this up is because yall were the same ppl who attacked me and anyone else who said she was more than capable of fending for herself against Kawaki both here & here

Yall said he was too fast, that she would've died, and my favorite 'what did you expect her to do?'

I dunno, THIS?

Dont even try to argue that base Kawaki without karma, and V1 karma Kawaki was stronger and faster than a 10 tails Rinnegan amped Sasuke.

Also just wanna point out yet another glaring power scaling flaw, which is why the hell is her chidori weaker than it was when she was 12? she grabbed a whole chunk outta Boro but 3 years later she just gives bee stings? Hidari should be missing part of his abdomen.

For the record heres the damage Chidori typically does if you think Im just nitpicking no, this is a literal power scaling flaw.

Dont get me wrong Im glad shes doing something, but she was always capable of doing this all along so its not really impressive but more of why'd it take yall so long to show her actually use her arsenal & fend for herself like she always could? where was this in 58? 78? 81? 82?

It took 4 years, 4 YEARS for her to do what shes always been able to do again, shes done this since Gaiden, Sasuke has done the same at 12, yet for 4 years all she did after Boro was stand there or cry and yall response was 'what could she do?' stfu.

THIS is what she could do, if a 12 year old Sasuke could dodge a semi Kurama amped Naruto then Sarada can handle a base karmaless Kawaki and a V1 Karma Kawaki.

And before anyone mentions, the only reason Sasuke stopped being able to dodge is because Kurama had a mind of his own, he could predict Narutos movements and dodge accordingly but he couldn't predict Kuramas.

Now yall wanna gas when yall didnt even believe she could do THIS much, the bare damn minimum, DODGE, yall didnt even think she could do that but now all of a sudden when she does its this incredible feat? but I thought we were the haters for sayin she was always able to do this?

Isnt it ironic that the ones who were called haters are the ones who were saying Sarada was better than that, and the ones who were called 'real fans' were the ones saying she was too weak and slow to even dodge with her 3T sharingan? funny how that works.

See how fast ppl switch up and forget their own narratives they put out there. Be honest, you knew she was always capable of this, you just made excuses either because of a ship or because it made your goat look good.

I already know Im still gonna get branded a hater for literally saying she's always been this strong and capable of fending for herself, but Im not gonna pretend this is some impressive feat when it isn't, 3 years ago yea, but 3 years later? this SHOULD be light work for her now.

If next chapter we see some MS abilities then we can talk about impressive feats, but this? thats how I know yall didn't think much of her and still don't if you think this is a big moment just dodging an attack and doing a low damage chidori 🤦‍♀️

This is what yall clowned Naruto for when he came back in the timeskip still using his same arsenal he left with, so lets not pretend this is any different for Sarada, everything shes done in TBV so far she was doing in part 1, there's no difference YET but hopefully in 11 we'll finally see her growth, OR a dodge and chidori is all she gets and will immediately need saving now.

As long as Boruto stays outta the way then the odds are higher for her to actually hold her own, but if Boruto is coming back to the scene its game over for her so here's hoping his ass has to take a back seat the entire invasion so everyone else can actually do they thing without him draggin them down.

For context, what I mean by that is whenever Boruto is involved everybody else gets dragged down to make him look good by comparison, for example in 58, 78, 81, and 82 Sarada for some reason completely forgot how to move, dodge, react, or activate her own sharingan, but as soon as Boruto has to stay away hiding, suddenly she remembers she has the sharingan, reflexes to dodge, and defend herself. I used Sarada as the example but this is a problem with the entire cast not just her, but since this post is about her thats why I used her for reference, but everybody immediately got better as soon as Boruto was written out of the way.

I said it before and I'll say it again, HES the problem, not from any fault of his own, but because the writers cant seem to make him shine and stand out on his own without draggin everybody else down so he looks cool and badass by comparison, rather than him just standing out on his own merits.

Think about it, name one 'cool' or 'badass' moment he's had in the timeskip that hasn't been handed to him at someone else's expense

His win against Mitsuki came with Mitsuki was already wavering and feeling doubt and willing to die

His win against Code came after he just rescued Sarada who just stood there

His win against Kawaki came after he had spent the last 8 chapters being easily knocked out and knocked down

The entire invasion everybody was getting sneaked, caught off guard, barely holding their own, and needed saving, while Boruto was just casually beating Code and his grimes with zero effort.

Now? with Boruto removed? Inoshikacho holding their own against Jura and Hidari, the strongest two clones

Shikadai done restrained Jura and pulled his branches apart to free Himawari

Inojin saved Himawari and bought them time to get away from the village

Chocho pushed Jura out of the way to make his bijuu bomb miss and expanded herself when Inojins bird was hit to cushion everybodies fall.

Himawari awakens Kuramas power

Sarada remembers shes an Uchiha with the sharingan who can dodge and react accordingly

Kawaki got his brain back and prioritized Himawari's safety over hunting down Boruto.

The difference between when Boruto was involved and when he wasn't is night and day. Again its no fault of his own, but it seems like the writers cannot make Boruto shine without dragging everyone else down, and the only way everyone else will shine is if Boruto is FORCED outta the way.

[etherealspacejelly]

Hey. I'm a mother of an Child with ADHS. She has gone undiagnosted for nearly eight years; so we still have to figure out how to help her get around. Do you have tips or things we maybe don't think about? I'm missing a bit of help for me as a parent to help her come around and making her life (social interactions, cleaningness (for herself and her room) and all this more easier for her. Thank you!

yeah i can probably think of a couple of things

if you ask her to do something and she doesnt straight away, shes not being lazy or defiant she probably either didnt process what you said, or completely forgot. repeated gentle reminders of the task she is supposed to be doing will go a long way

stimming together is a great way to regulate her when she is frustrated. put on some music she likes and encourage her to dance with you!

when she rambles to you about something shes interested in, that is her attempt to connect with you and share something meaningful to her. i understand that life is busy as a parent though, and sometimes you just dont have time to listen. if that is the case, tell her you really do want to hear what she has to say, but cant right now, and tell her how long you think it will be before you can give her your full attention. maybe encourage her to write these things down instead so she can tell you about them later and not forget what she wanted to say!

making things into a game is usually a good way to get people with ADHD to do tasks. e.g. "how much of your room can you tidy before i finish cooking dinner? ready, steady, go!"

she may need extra time to transition between tasks. giving a countdown before she needs to move on and do something else can really help! i recommend getting a visual timer so that you can say "10 more minutes until x!" and then set the timer, and she can visually see how much time she has left to wrap up what she is doing. example below:

i hope this helped a little? most of all i think it is important to work with your kiddo and listen to them, to find out what works best for them.

and disclaimer: im not a scientist or medical professional or anything, just a 20 year old with ADHD who got diagnosed a few weeks ago. these are things that i think would have helped me as a kid, but might not work for every kid.

best of luck to you both!

[pasharuu]

THIS IS THE FIRST PART.

idk why but i wanna show tumblr my aranara quests themed custom tarot deck lmao. i finished it in february but since i created this acc just recently, i gotta put it here now. im just really proud of this project and the fact that i actually finished it.

unfortunately tumblr will only allow me to add 10 pics per post, while there are 23 cards, so that kinda sucks. will have to separate em it seems. i'll also explain a little about my choices on these. so here we go, first ten.

0 the fool - "where the journey begins". i think its already a tradition to put some main figure on the fool card and so did i. glad i used his correct design for the card-

basically theres nothing to explain except for the monarch butterfly symbolism, which usually is a sign of a chosen. not like Arama is any "chosen" in a common sense, but i felt like adding this anyway. 6/10 nice Arama card.

I the magican - creation and manipulation. Aranimba got here for his exclusive sense of beauty and the will to create the beauty. he is an artist after all.

the story of the bg is kinda wonky. it was at release of 3.4 and due to my disappointment i made a pic where Aranimba points at that shiny cave northwest the mt. damavand with excitement. well, now its a boss enterance, but back then i had no clue, i made it literally at the release day lol. but it worked well on the bg of this card. i think you wouldnt guess it was that cave if i didnt tell, and that was done on purpose as well. 8/10 for backstory, and im proud of this card overall.

II the high priestess - waiting for the impulse from outside, confidence. first of all, the high priestess to me was always associated with some whimsy loud woman, and if you ask me, this is where Arapacati fits. however here she is depressively hugging a viparyas cuz she kicked her brothers a decade ago and now shes sad. what did i tell u about whimsy woman? 6/10, solid.

III the empress - the mother, fertility, the birth of a new. THIS IS WHERE WE STARTED, THE MAMA. no need to explain why i put Rukkhadevata here? 6/10, i struggled with this card cuz i hate drawing people, but it came out solid imo.

IV the emperor - the father, discipline, responsibility. to remind you, Araja is basically the one who runs the Vanarana dream realm, the tree of dreams. he is also here for a very simple reason because of being a big boss here, and looking like one as well. 7/10, nice mustache.

V the hierophant - attention to visible and invisible, search of the essence. if you ask me why i put Arapandu here, theres my answer - because he was the only major character who didnt have a card in the process of planning. i have some really vague explaination why exactly on hierophant, its mostly because of Varunastra actually, not Arapandu. i honestly dont have any emotional connection to Arapandu, he's kinda boring. 4/10.

VI the lovers - chosen by heart, determination and aspiration. ONLY BECAUSE OF SUCH INTERPRETATION. im against shipping aranara x anyone.

i think i wouldnt even make any better choice for this card whatsoever. they are here because they share dreams and aspirations and i really love their duet. 9/10 i teared.

VII the chariot - knowledge of the world, searching for the new. these goofy guys are here mostly because of "searching for the new", even though their methods were unsafe and archon knows what would happen to these dummies without any sense of self-preservation if we werent around. fact: they've been wondering for at least 4 years, but i love to say a decade. nay, theyre just very lucky. 5/10.

VIII justice - "play nice, and others will play nice with you". this is a card for Nara Varuna specifically and i decided to make both Lumine and Aether so that everyone will be satisfied. since Nara Varuna did nice in the past, all the aranara praise their name in the present.

the bg is again kinda symbolic. these are runes on Varuna contraption: "the water", when the rain pours, for Lumine, and "the sky", when its sunny, for Aether. i only hate how i made them so vague that theyre barely recognizable eh. but overall good cards, 6/10.

THATS ALL FOLKS.

for now. i bumped into images limit. gotta complete it in the next two posts!!!

[chaifootsteps]

There is an "artist" in the hyspanic side of the art internet community that reminds me so much of Vivziepop:

Her name is "Angel de la verdad" (Angel of truh in spanish, wich is a very ironic name lol), and she is know for being a grown ass woman (she is almost 40) that acts childish and cant take criticism.

People started making fun of her because she would react badly to any kind of criticism; she would make big tantrums every time someone made a video criticising her work and would send her fans (all of them being literal children because she made videos about sonic, undertale and other things that were popular between them) to harrass and attack them, then negate that she did that. She would also claim that those who have any little negative opinion on her art were haters and would call them childish insults like "rats" and encourage her fans to do the same.

One day she got mad beef with a literal 14yo boy cuz he made a video saying that her Sonic fancomics were cringe, and that made her so mad, that she took down that video, made several video directs making fun of that child, made a drawing where she potrayed him as a crying child while she was scolding him, told lies about how he was harassing and stalking her when she was the one doing that, and even threaten to doxx him because she got his personal information.

She became a very hated figure, in every video she uploaded you would see she had like 40k views but only like 10 comments cause she would erase any "hate" comment calling her out, only keeping the ones made by her bootlickes that couldnt be over the age of 8.

I remember she even did a video "debunking" her acusations, and in the part of the doxxing she said "i never said i would leak personal information of that child! I just told him to behave, and to not give his information to strangers!" Thing that is obviously a lie. She also showed screenshot of personal conversations she had with him "proving" that he was harrassing her, but they were basically her insulting him and he responding with "lol ok".

The latest thing i knew about her is that she posted on twitter that she would sue some youtuber who made a video on her revealing all the things she did, she claimed that the video was "defaming" her and that she already got a lawer. That was about a year ago and nothing happened, so i guess it was all a lie lol.

Viziepop reminds me a bit of her, in the sense that she is also over the age of 30 and still cant take criticism in a mature way. Maybe she doesnt openly insult her "haters", but she inderectly encourages her fans to be horrible people to those who dont like her work.

I was thinking, if Vivzie didnt have a reputation to take care of, she would be similar to the lady i talked about, maybe not to the point of doxxing a child, but in the sense that she would post on her social media the links of videos where she gets criticised and telling her fans to attack them, then acting all inocent with "those mean haters were attacking me 🥺 i was just defending myself..."

But she cant do that, right now she is know as "the saviour of indie animation", as a goddess of pure positivity that inspires others and will get her work shown on TV, that behaviour would ruin her reputation in a second.

So now i can imagine her sitting in front of the computer, looking for people who criticise her work. She would get the idea of making a post so her fans attack them, but then she glances at the poster on her wall, wich says "reminder: you have a reputation on the internet, DONT fuck it up". So she just growls angrily, and limits herself to like comments of her bootlickers defending her.

(Also, little fun fact about Angel de la verdad: she has a sister who is EXACTLY like her, a mediocre internet artists who acts childish and throws tantrums in the sight of criticism. Many people used to belive they were the same person with different users, but they have different voices and pictures together so we know they arent, the world is a crazy place).

Thank you for this story, Anon, and also for this peek into Vivzie's Christmas future.

(Hopefully.)

[crguang]

ok honestly im kinda done w genshin atp, like the story is okay, the whitewashing tho is pissing me off tho, um idk, i like the game play, and also i gotta get to sneznaya or wtv when that comes out. and did u just not like the sumeru characters bc more of them are men.../j i still dont have yelan or arle very sad...they're like top 10 genshin characters for me, i was too broke to pull for them when they were running

ALSO that's not what i meant abt natasha, like as a character shes good and i like her, and her story is good, i dont dislike her, what i meant is that i cant be attracted to her, like idk...bc all the stuff u listed i should like her, so like idk. i dont skip story, i did her sq, so maybe it is just the fact that shes a doctor, like that was how she was presented at first and i just cant look past it ok... my mom was a doctor so i just cant...my mommy issues strike again, and i just dont rlly like doctors in general havent had good experiences w them before, so i cant be attracted to one...idk, like ik shes like way more than that. and i did get a few adds for her so its prob that as well that kind messed with my perception of her at the beginning, the only hsr adds i every got continously was kafkas trailer.

tbh i shouldve realized i liked women when i saw kafka dragging her fingers across a wall wish i was that wall with like her voice in the background and that was what made me decide to play the game. they know what they're doing...

speaking of which i got her other two messages, shes ridiculous, like i cant believe she can just go to a movie theater like that, and her checking up on you...i did scream. shes pathetic... honestly her being into phycological thrillers makes sm sense, so she was def seeing one of those. and i think shes exposing herself bc of both of the reasons you listed (also like it being on a burner acc incase she gets rejected...i obviously wasnt mean to her tho).

honestly im just shy sat okay...thats why im an anon, but it is funny, since we're all reading ur smut, and thirsting over everyone together.

i did sleep i promise, i dont really like taking medicine, again doctor stuff, but i'll been taking some melatonin bc last night it took be 3 and a half hours to sleep and ive been drinking tea and stuff, but ill be going to sleep after this. wish me luck.

-🌠

i also wanted to last until snezhnaya like i remember a few years ago when the first fatui trailer dropped after inazuma and my entire timeline went crazyyyy, people who didn’t play the game anymore got back into it just for the fatui like they really united everyone… but since the characters and stories dont do anything for me now i personally never feel like playing. and yes i actually was so bored with sumeru because im not interested in men at all dhfjgkgk but also the whitewashing there pissed me off and how they nerfed dehya and made her a horrible standard character was so annoying like i didnt pull for a single sumeru character 😭 arle/yelan is an insane duo, my yelan is great cause shes been my main for years so she doesn’t need anyone but adding arle is just cheating fr. look at my favs beefing (clorinde was there for the friendship points😪)

i thought you disliked nat because you said your friend thought you disliked her bc she was a doctor, but it makes sense if you’ve had bad experiences with healthcare professionals and are reminded of them when you see doctors. personally i love when people who work in healthcare actually care about the patients they have because it’s quite literally life saving and sooo many of them dont give a fuck, that’s why i adore natasha a lot. it’s totally fine if you’re not attracted to her, you don’t have to be!

kafka’s trailer changed my brain chemistry and i can recite it by heart from how often ive watched it. they definitely knew what they were doing especially with these shots like can i please be that guy… i’ll take the bullet too idgaf. AND YES THE MOVIE THEATER SHES SUCH A LOSERRR, THE “my life is an action movie btw lol haha” when the tb says they like action films is so ridiculous. i need to look up her other answers but when she said the action movies lacked immersion i pat myself on the back for writing that she likes psychological thrillers over horror or any other genre like i know her for real… im literally inside her head.

im glad youre sleeping even if it takes a little while!! hopefully your internal clock stops messing woth you and allows you to get some good rest

[vancilocs]

i think i have enough ideas for another lore dump (details subject to change obvi)

so. third kingdom. kinda turmoilic

about 30 years or so ago there was this violent thronestealing plot that happened. there was king, and queen, and the heir to the throne and probably some younger siblings, but in one night some usurper cousin or a more distant relative snuck in and slayed pretty much everyone; except the heir managed to escape with like a handful of servants (and her own porcelain bodyguard). she was like 13-14 at this point. also trans, but not out yet, except to her bodyguard. this is relevant.

(she had a bit of a teenage crush on him, not in any real way, more like youre really cool and nice and oh no puberty got my brain scrambled)

but the escape was really narrow and while trying to get out the servants got picked off and the bodyguard held his own final stand and stayed behind to let the heir escape. so she had to run off all by her lonesome.......

she wandered the countryside for a bit to get as far away as she could and through some avenues she ended up in contact with Skullface whos?? a general nogooder??? has a skull for a face??? (and she/he pronouns. whats her agab? its a secret) who promised that hed help her take the throne back and take revenge on her relatives, if shed in turn make him an advisor/give her another high rank in her court. she agreed bc why not, she was a tormented teenager who wanted revenge in any way

thus began the training. it was p easy to hide away bc the new monarchs goons were looking for a prince, the eejits, so she just went by the name she had already picked for herself (also skullface shaved off the horn over her eye/covered the mark and her dragon eye with bandages to further hide her identity. shes a poor injured girl leave her alone. dyed her red hair probably too, it was quite distinctive) and began training sword and magic both

maybe a decade passes and skullface has molded her into a right meanie, while also working on his own to collect willing people to help her overtake the castle. the new monarch wasnt very liked overall.

(now skullfaces original plan was to basically use her and groom her into being his puppet on the throne BUT he grew to genuinely care for her and now truly wishes the best for her and only wants to be by her side to help. not quite a surrogate parent, more like your parents cool sibling? theyre partners in crime)

so they storm the castle one night. princess stabs people and skullface blasts them with magic (first_4_notes_of_megalovania.mp3) and the peasants and knights theyve rallied help also. princess stabs her cousin/whatever to death and retakes the throne. yahoo

and in the basement they find her porcelain bodyguard. hes basically been there for 10 years (since he was 14 or so) for the castles new occupants to torment - basically chained him down there and gave him a sword and people would go fight him for fun. mans turned semiferal atp. but when princess shows up he recognizes her, knows her real name bc she told him all those years ago, and he does an argos from the odyssey and dies in her arms immediately after.

shes inconsolable obviously, that was the Only Thing remaining of her past happy life, her family is gone, her friends are gone, the usurpers destroyed all the stuff that reminded her of home, paintings burned furniture destroyed history books torn etc. also that was her FRIEND

so she delves a bit into necromancy with skullfaces reluctant help, and drags him back to the land of the living (not super well, but somewhat). hes mangled, needs some prostheses probably or at least joint braces, has nightmares and short-term memory issues. tends to cut off at his death and after that everythings a bit hazy. but he remembers his liege and loves her, appreciates her coming back like he knew she would, is her bodyguard again like the old times.

sometimes she kinda regrets it tho, was it fair to bring him back like that? she didnt ask him, hes been through so much, didnt he deserve to rest? but he seems happy so she guesses its ok. he says its ok. also wonders how long the magic will hold up, will he stick around forever now?

(hes doing ok. most people dont really like him bc hes a zombie but some dont mind. im p sure he even has a kid, but for some reason isnt together with the mom anymore. probably bc her family wont let her marry an undead. but im not entirely sure bc why would her familys opinion matter when she could just live at the castle since he has a very prestigious position anyways)

anyway shes slightly tormented. but she has friends. shes got bodyguard, and skullface as her trusty advisor and support, but also shes got a wife and kids, And shes fairly close with fenrir. him and konoe did offer support for her taking her old home back. konoe is a good help when it comes to political knowledge and aid, but shes had good talks with fenrir abt grief and how daunting it feels to suddenly be a ruler. when fenrir lost his kid she even came to visit to offer her condolences.

other ppl in the castle include a giant snake tail woman. mothman probably also.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ritchie Herron

Published: May 23, 2024

Today is a day I can't really ignore, because whether I want to mark it or not, my body reminds me regardless.

Six years ago, conflicted, but optimistic, i thought I was doing the right thing getting 'Sex Reassignment surgery'.

A Long Story 🧵

I transitioned as an adult, I was 26. Me and my fully developed big brain thought this would be a good idea.

I had severe OCD and a myriad of mental health problems. I mean even then I be head tiltin'...This was me at age 25, pure giga chad

Soon as i found out transition was an option, I went in full force, like a bat out of hell!

I had become obsessed with the idea that my body was being poisoned by testosterone, that every masculine trait needed to be annihilated, for i was a true and honest woman after all. 

As a child, I was soft, loving, quite literal and I loved to sing, dance and dress up, but i also loved my diggers!

Me at age 10 before I went to sing karaoke with my friends family. You cant see it but my friends shoulder is on the right, he was a year younger too! I was tiny!

When I came out to my family, in isolation they all asked the same question when I told them I had something to tell them: "You're gay, aren't you?"

"No! I'm a real transsexual!" I said. Convinced I was the truest of the true. Genuinely born in the wrong body and all that noise. 

It was 2013 and I had found a supportive online community that helped me get on the right path to transition.

Facing a 15 month wait for the gender clinic. I found out I could start the blocker (And stop the 'poison'!) if i had two private diagnosis of transsexualism. 

So off I fucked to Scotland for a private diagnosis, as i waited to be enrolled for the gender clinic.

I was on a low income so I did the only thing i could, and got a payday loan. "Fuck debt, its this or death!" I reasoned.

Two days later I got the full diagnosis for £500. 

It took until April 2014 for the Gender Clinic to agree to give me the Goserelin Zoladex implant (testosterone blocker).

When I got it, I was so happy the poison was about to stop. At first, I looked a right state. I did the opposite of blend in. 

By January 2015, I was finally enrolled into the gender clinic and after a while, the blockers were showing some effect. Though, I wasn't committing to it at all.

I found myself desisting from the idea of estrogen/transition all together and just thought I'd live as just some androgynous looking guy.

It all changed when i went to the gender clinic. The very first question I got asked by the psychiatrist was: "have you given any thought to gender reassignment surgery?"

I said honestly, I wasn't sure, I dont think i ever had that type of dysphoria, besides i really want to see the therapist. 

They agreed to refer me to a gender therapist in March 2015. In total I would end up have 97 gender therapy sessions with them.

Gender therapy is not like normal therapy. It helped defeat my doubt, and also helped me defeat others who were doubtful. 

In July 2015, the Psychiatrist asked if i had given any further thought to the surgery.

I said I wasn't sure, and i'd like to find out more. Thats when i realised NONE of them had any technical knowledge about the surgery, what it does, etc. It suprised me. 

I got refered back to the place in Scotland, since I already went there for the pre-diagnosis.

I took my mother, she wasnt convinced.

The therapist told her, infront of her grown ass 28 year old son, if she didnt affirm, he'd kms. 

She told me the surgery would make myself feel better, and that regret was extremely low (I was worried about regretted it) and bleeding.

I have a huge fear of bleeding, I'm a wuss! yes... 

Once the surgery referal came through in late 2015, i panicked! Too quick i said!

"It'll be there for when your ready." The psychatrist said.

But all I really wanted was therapy. 

I said no several more times, I forgot exactly how many times they asked, but it was constant.

By 2016 early 2017, life was still chaos, but blending in felt easier, I wasn't getting noticed really and most people gendered me as a woman.

I was happy enough as I was, but back at the gender clinic in 2017 I was delivered an ultimatum. Accept surgery referral or get discharged.

That would also mean an end to the therapy, and it was keeping me stable.

I bit the bullet and said no once more. 

My gender therapist, also somewhat co-dependant on me as a client for now 60 odd sessions, didnt want to let me go either. He reasoned that i did have dysphoria and surgery was probably the best option.

So i called the psychiatrist back and asked to be refered back for surgery. 

I've went over it in my head 1000's of times.

Why did I go along with it? Why didn't just stop it?

It just felt like a ride i couldnt get off, and it got faster and faster.

Everyone was routing for me. 

Day of surgery, may 23rd 2018.

After staying an extra 3 hours in theatre, i finally woke up around this time. 4:00pm ish.

I was still bleeding and had lost nearly 2000ml from the surgery and drains.

A friend helped snap this.

I apologise for the haram photo, but this is what the area looked like a few weeks after.

I had Lichen Scoloris, which was ignored and is now inside the hole and around the entrance. I had a constricted urethra and both my scar lines on both sides split open, which would get infected.

I won't share anymore, but i have a lot of photos that are far more grim.

It's what happened I really can't show you.

The depression, the pain, the insane pain oh my god. Not being able to pee, to feel anything.

Feeling betrayed 

SO I GO BACK TO MY GENDER THERAPIST THREE MONTHS LATER....and i say "Hey, I think i made a mistake, i think i regret this."

"No you dont." He said.

I went back every other week and told him, i regret it. He said no. 

One year of this back and forth. I was refered to a psychiatric team, that said i didnt have regret, I had Unstable Personality Disorder and severe Obsessive compulsive Disorder.

And then I was discharged in January 2020.

It was the worst time in my life, those years. I was very angry at myself, and everyone I talked to reassured me that I didnt have regret and if i did, it was my fault anyway.

But I resisted...And in 2022 I spoke out after desisting 

I'm 37 as of Saturday... and I'm facing life ahead of me as a castrated male. It's not easy territory, but if i want one thing to come out of this, it's to give others a chance, a warning about surgery.

But i wont stop anyone. Just don't try and stop me.

If you would like to support my work, please consider liking/retweeting. I do it for free but will happily accept tips for sausage rolls.

Also consider checking out my substack where i write a lot of shit and youtube where i talk even more shit t.co/tQSunLfhVk tullipr.substack.com

I really needed to get that off my chest so thanks for reading. It's appreciated