#so i have to make mine happen for them and for me!!!!!

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Saving What Was Lost Part 4: Bubble Baths and Faded Scars✨

Pre-Outbreak! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

A/N: Cut my entire heart out to write this chapter. I love love how soft Joel is, and I hope this brings a little comfort to all the healing girlies 🩷 There’s a lot of triggers in this chapter, so pay attention to the tags. I hope you enjoy this chapter because I so loved writing it.

Chapter Summary: Who knew that facing one of your fears would be so hard? It’s just a shower, but a shower is so much more to you. And just when you think you can’t face it, Joel helps you one step at a time.

Rating: Explicit 18+ only MDNI

Word Count: 6k words

Chapter Tags: Mentions of being trafficked, flashbacks of being abused and SA, angst, soft and protective Joel, PTSD, no use y/n, age gap (reader is late 20’s, Joel is late 40’s), pre-outbreak au, shower triggers, vulnerable reader, panic attack, sweet nicknames (sweetheart, angel)

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

One month. You’ve been here one entire whole month and you still haven’t been able to get yourself to step into the shower. It’s only a shower. It can’t hurt you, but they can. The memories that drag knives through your skull, leaving you to bleed out on the cracked tile. 

   It’s only memories, only deep scars from your past, but they still haunt you night and day, swearing to come back and swallow you whole with their jagged, sharp teeth — just like a great white shark. 

   Nevermind that you’ve been washing your hair in the sink or scrubbing your body until your skin glows red with the washcloth. You can’t fucking do it, but you’re going to force yourself to try today. You have to. You have got to break this traumatic cycle. 

   You can do this. It’s a shower. Only a shower. 

   Making your way cautiously to the edge of the tub, you glimpse at the metal shower head, fixate on the way it curves and dips and glares back at you with vengeance in its wake. It’s like a monster’s staring right back at you, sneering its sharp teeth and whispering nightmares into your mind. 

   Come and get me, you want to say, but it’s already sunk its razor-sharp fangs into your skin. It’s already bled you dry.

   Swallowing your fears, you stand your ground and narrow your eyes into thin slits, flexing your fingers into tight fists as you look into the face of fear. 

   It can’t hurt you, can’t wrap its long cord around your neck like they tried. But yet, it still can…

   You still feel their icy breaths blowing down your neck, still feel their filthy hands trailing up your skin, still feel the scars they clawed down your back while they had you pinned against the tiled wall. You still feel them inside you, all around you, branding you as their own forever. 

   You’re still theirs. 

   You hear their cackling laughter ringing through your eardrums as you reach for the shower head, stretching your arm through the visions of Garrett and his buddies having their way with you in the bathroom. 

   “Get out,” you mewl, chattering your teeth as you grab a hold of the bottled lavender soap from the side of the porcelain tub. You can’t let them win.

   “Look at you. All scared and helpless, begging for someone to come save you,” Garrett snickers, fisting the back of your hair as another man tears your dress off. 

   “Stop. Please…” you beg, tears streaming down and clouding your vision. “I’m worth more than this. You don’t have to…”

   “What makes you think you’re so special, princess? Nobody’s looking for you. You’re ours until we sell you. And right now? Right now you’re mine.”

   Tears slip from your lash line, falling like raindrops as they hit the edge of the tub. You remember that night so clearly, remember it like it’s happening all over. 

   Your body starts to shake the further you reach for the shower head, making it your mission to push through. But the voices echo in your mind, vibrating down your spine until you actually see their muted faces and narrowed eyes in the reflection of the metal. 

   Push through. Fight. Forget them. They’re not real anymore. But they are still real, and they’re just repeating the cycle with other innocent women that were taken…

   Just as your fingers latch around the shower head, Garrett’s voice booms through your head, ricocheting off the pristine tiled walls. “You’re mine, little whore. I’m not done with you yet.”

   “Get out of my head. I’m not yours!” you scream, dropping the shower head as it bangs a loud clash against the shower walls, startling you like a gunshot just went off. The soap tumbles out of your palm, the bottle opening and spilling lavender liquid all over the bottom of the tub, making messes you can’t get yourself to clean up. 

   You drop to the floor and cover your head with your hands, begging the yelling voices to just stop. But they don’t. They come parading in like a steep hurricane and crash their waves down on you, knocking you off center so they can snake their way into your mind to scream even louder. 

   “Stop, stop,” you whisper as a fallen teardrop hits the edge of the bathtub. And then they just keep coming like scattered storm clouds.

   You can’t fucking do this. You’re not strong enough. You’re not brave. You’re not brave. 

   Footsteps on the floorboards make your fingers curl deeper into your messy hair. You squeeze your eyes shut as the door hits the back of the wall with a loud bang. And now you’re spiraling.

   Garrett. It’s Garrett coming for you. And this time, he wants blood.

   You have to run. You have to get out, you have to leave. 

   “Hey, sweetheart—”

   “No!” you scream out in blind fear, afraid your life is about to flash before your eyes. You start to swing your arm but when you look up, you drop it right back to your side with wide eyes. 

   “Hey, it’s jus’ me. It’s me,” he reassures gently.

   When you look through your tear-stained eyelashes, the world gets a little more quiet. A green flannel fitted against broad shoulders sits before you, his silver-threaded hair glowing from the fluorescent bathroom lights, and those eyes... Those big, brown, syrupy eyes.

   Joel. 

   “Joel…” you whimper out.

   He leans down right beside you and gets on your level, brown eyes locked directly on your teary ones. “S’right. It’s me.” His hand lands on the edge of the bathtub, thumb grazing against the smooth surface. Close enough to feel the heat off his tanned skin. 

   You’re breathless, tears still streaming down your cheek, but he looks like he wants to reach out and wipe them away with the pad of his thumb. 

   “What’s wrong?” he asks, concern lathered all through his soft brown eyes.

   “I was just… I just…” You can’t finish your sentence without cringing at the shift of his shoulders.

   “Take your time, sweetheart,” he says encouragingly.

   He’s always so patient. 

   Taking a deep breath, you make yourself speak quietly. “I just wanted to get a shower. And I just can’t. I couldn’t do it. I can’t…” Tears muddle your vision, and then you’re right back into the pool you were in.

   “Breathe for me,” he coos softly, making your breathing a little easier. “There ya go,” he encourages. “Jus’ take it slow.”

   He takes a long look at the hanging shower head and the spilled lavender soap that runs down the edge of the tub, ending in a small puddle where your fear lies. It’s like he puts two and two together, like he understands exactly what happened. 

   “I made a mess with the soap, I…”

   He stops you right there. “Shh. S’okay,” he whispers. “Let me jus’ help you here, sweetheart.”

   Slowly reaching over, he turns the faucet to warm and lets fresh water run through the tub. He pours more lavender soap in, creating a pool of bubbles that cover the surface of the water. And then he puts the shower head back where it belongs, at a safe distance where it can’t touch you. And you just sit there, watching in silence as he tests out the temperature of the water next. 

   “You’re running a bath for me…”

   He stops for a moment and looks at you with big, warm eyes, looking at you as if you’re in need of saving. “Yeah, I am.”

   Gulping down a lump in your throat, you watch him get back to his task at hand. Stretching his long arms, he cuts the faucet off when the water hits just against the top of the tub. Enough for you to slip in and not spill any water out. 

   He tilts his head back to you and says, “You think you can get in by yourself?”

   Staring at the steam coming up from the warm water, you tremble inside. He drew you a bath when you didn’t have the strength to stand in a shower. He did that. He did it for you…

   Wiping your blurry eyes, you sniffle out. “I think so.”

   He gives you a small smile and then pushes himself up to his feet, nodding to the bath water as he turns the other way. “Go ahead then. I won’t look.”

   You sit there in shambles, still gawking as his broad back stands firm across the room. He’s not even peeking. He’s not trying to look at you. 

   “Sweetheart, s’alright. You can trust me.”

   You can trust me. There’s that word again. Trust. 

   Gradually, you start to pull your t-shirt over your head, cautiously dragging your leggings to the floor and hiding your purple lace underneath the fabric of your shirt. And then your bra unclasps with a snap, leaving you completely bare as you sit in a heap on the cold floor. 

   Turning your head back around, you see he’s still not looking, so you decide to slip under the warmth of the bath bubbles and sink until your body is covered from the breasts down. You pull your knees up to your chest, blanketing yourself with the large bubbles and your arms. 

   “You okay?” he asks.

   “Mhm,” you whimper out.

   “Is it alright if I turn around?”

   Freezing, your body is suddenly ice cold, despite the warmth surrounding your skin. Panic consumes you for a second, but then you remember it’s Joel. 

   He won’t hurt you.

   Balling yourself up even tighter, you make your decision. “Oh. Yeah, I umm. Okay,” you mumble out.

   The shift of his jeans and his boots tiptoeing across the floor makes your mind race, feelings of fight or flight invading your body as you work to steady your fast breath.

   You’re completely naked, stripped raw and bleeding all your insecurities and fears into the lavender soap that envelops the bath. There’s no layers covering you except the thin coating of bubbles and your curled up knees hiding what’s been taken time after time again from you. 

   You shrink yourself further into the tub, curving your back, praying your hair will cover the faded scars that slit you open night after night. You don’t want anyone to see them, can’t even stand to look at them yourself. They’re ugly reminders of what’s happened to you. Just heavy burdens weighing you down, telling you how invaluable and broken you really are. 

   Garrett used to love that… dragging glass through the top of your right shoulder, or just using his teeth to make blood run down your cracked skin. You still feel it. Every lash and bite and cut he gave you. He ruined you just like every other man that touched you in that house. Except he was the worst of them.

   You’re so fucking vulnerable and exposed, and it’s so raw. And you’re just showing all your bleeding shades of red to Joel. 

   When you hear him shift behind you and slightly feel his large presence near the bathtub, you freeze, and then your body starts to shake violently, like you just got dunked below an icy lake.

   “Hey, s’alright. It’s alright, sweetheart,” he coos as he kneels down against the side of the tub. “You’re tremblin’ like a leaf. Are you cold?”

   “N—no,” you whisper, shaking your head back and forth until you believe what you’re saying. It’s warm inside the bath water, but you’re still shuddering like you just got hit with a bucket of ice cold water.

   It’s quiet for a second before he asks, “Is it me? Do you want me to leave?”

   Briefly flicking your teary eyes up at him, you take a long look at his concerned face, embracing those warm brown eyes that you could get lost in. 

   Do you really want him to leave? If he does, that means you’ll be all alone with the roaring thoughts in your head. And you don’t want to be alone. Not really. You want him to stay because the truth is… he makes you feel not so alone. 

   He feels like fresh air.

   “No. I… I don’t want you to go,” you whisper, keeping your eyes locked right on those deep brown pools.

   He gives you a tight-lipped nod and takes a good look at your face, like he can just slip inside your mind and feel everything you’ve ever felt in those last two years.

   “M’not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart. Gonna stay right here. Right where you need me.” His words pull at your heartstrings, stopping the screaming voices in your mind. 

   He said he’ll stay. 

   You… need him. 

   Sitting there curled up in shambles, you don’t move. You just wade in the soapy bubbles and look up bashfully beneath your eyelashes, praying he’ll keep the flashbacks at bay. You don’t know when exactly you grabbed a washcloth, but your knuckles are white from how tight you’re holding on. Maybe it’s helping keep you sane right now.

   Don’t let the memories come flooding back. Keep me from sinking, Joel. 

   His thumb traces along the edge of the tub, while his other grabs the open bottle of lavender soap. And then he looks at you, hesitating before he speaks. He almost looks like he doesn’t know what to say, like he’ll scare you off or say the wrong thing. 

   He could never scare you, you think. No. Never. 

   “Can I?” He tilts his head toward your exposed back, his calloused fingers still skimming the surface while your heart beats sporadically from what he’s asking. 

   Swallowing the words that threaten to spit out, you push them back and nod cautiously, allowing him to take the purple washcloth from your shaking palm. He brushes his calloused skin against yours, and you jump at the contact.

   “Hey, s’okay. I’m gonna be real gentle, sweetheart. You just tell me if it’s too much and I’ll stop.” His deep timbre stops the panic, and all you can do is hang your head lower and focus on the slow deep breathing technique Joel taught you last week.

   “Okay…” you whisper out in a hushed breath. 

   The first touch of the soapy washcloth feels like knives to your skin, carving you up slowly as your body is served to the slaughterhouse. It almost feels like Garrett behind you, cackling as he had his way with you all those times. And when he slides the washcloth down your spine again, you hear a quiet sob escape your lips. 

   You weren’t supposed to show him this side. One that’s so torn apart and abused and broken. You weren’t supposed to show him your scars…

   “Sweetheart, s’alright,” he coos, blowing his warm breath against the back of your head as he stops his slow strokes for just a moment. “You’re safe. I’m not gonna hurt you…” he repeats again slowly, quietly.

   Swiping a falling tear away with the back of your arm, you let him continue. He’s so gentle with every movement, taking care to watch your reactions, back off if something seems too much. He listens to your body language and respects you because he knows how scary this is for you. You don’t want anyone to touch you, but you think this is okay. Because the truth is, you couldn’t do this without him. 

   Slowly brushing your hair to the side, he washes along the back of your neck, gently going over the curve of your shoulders, down your spine, and stopping where your body is submerged. 

   “Tilt your head back for me, sweetheart,” he asks politely, reaching to grab the bottle of shampoo. You do as he says. 

   He fills a little bucket with water and slowly runs it through your hair, until it’s all drenched in warmth. Next, he laces his thick fingers through your hair, scrubbing your scalp to get all the knots and tangles and sweat out. You fight to hold in a low groan, reveling in how good it feels to have his fingers running through your locks in such a gentle way. 

   And he stays there, talking you through it, telling you it’s all okay. And he’s so gentle. Almost like a little lamb with those brown eyes that could soothe you into a deep lull, calm your flying thoughts until you’re just standing still. 

   No one’s ever done this, taken the time to care. You’ve never had someone to do that. He’s doing what no one else signed up to do. 

   But why… why would he do this? You’re nothing. At least that’s what they told you back at the house. That’s what Angela said while Garrett had you pinned to the dining room chair, breathing all down your ear, his teeth dragging until he left marks.

   You shiver in place, teeth chattering even though you’re in warm bath water. But right now you feel like you’re ten feet under a frozen lake, and you need Joel to pull you out.

   The visions of Garrett come rushing back, clouding your better judgement and making you fold over again in fear. 

   Get out. Get out of my head. 

   But you’re right back at that stagnant old house. You’re back in Garrett’s hands…

   Fuck. Why’d you have to remember that night…

   It’d be so easy to slip under the surface of the bubbles, embrace the black seas that would drag you under into oblivion. You could just sink into the warmth, watch the real world disappear along with all your memories. Melt into a peaceful bliss. You could just end it all, but you don’t want that. You want to live, to face your fears, to go on living. You want to be brave. You want… you want… 

   “Sweetheart? What is it?” he asks lightly as he watches a tear break the surface of the water. 

   “I… I just…” You trail off, staring at the shower head, trembling as you remember everything. 

   His eyes follow yours, and it’s like he sees right through your thin layers of red.

   You’re scared. You’re so fucking terrified. 

   Joel knocks you out of your dark mindset, his Southern drawl taking that fear away. “Hey, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

   “Umm. I…”

   “S’okay if you don’t wanna talk ‘bout it. Jus’ tryin’ to understand what happened so I can help. I want to help. If you’ll let me.”

   You turn his words over and over in your mind, contemplating if you want to let him in. But honestly, talking to Joel does make you feel a little better. And keeping everything bottled up inside is eating you alive, so maybe talking about it will help. Joel will help. He always helps… 

   You take a deep breath and let it all out. “I just… I used to be so independent. I did everything for myself and now? Now I can barely do anything…”

   “Hey. S’alright, sweetheart. You’ll get back to that point one day. You’re gonna be okay.”

   “I don’t feel okay.”

   He stops the slow movements of his wrist, rests the washcloth against the middle of your back. “I know, sweetheart. I know.”

   “He hurt me…”

   The room turns silent, not even the splash of water meets the white noise in the bathroom. That is, until you hear his knuckles flex.

   “What?” he asks in a husky breath.

   “He hurt me,” you repeat, your voice dropped an octave lower.

   “Who, sweetheart? Tell me who hurt you.” He’s attentive, all attention on you, his eyes dark chocolate when they lock with yours.

   “Garrett… The one that sold me. He… he…” Your voice quivers into silence, only the quiet sobs escaping your throat.

   “Hey, s’okay. You’re okay,” he coos. “He’s not here and he never will be again. He won’t touch you again. Ever. And I… Well, I’m not gonna hurt you, sweetheart. I’ll never hurt you. You’re safe now.”

   You’re safe now. You’re safe with him.

   Your eyes drop back down to the bubbles, shining under the fluorescent lights, your hands skimming under the water against your hidden legs. “Back at the house, we weren’t really allowed to take showers alone. Well, not all the girls. One of them just happened to be me…”

   Pausing to flinch, you start again when he doesn’t interrupt. “No matter how much I fought back or screamed or tried to get away, they just held me down against the tile wall. And Garrett was the worst of them, even if he was the one trying to sell me. He was the one that used me the most. Said I was his favorite plaything,” you spit out, sinking your nails deep into your ankles to relieve some of the heartache.

   “Jesus Christ…” His voice drops an octave, and you feel his fingers flex against the washcloth, ringing it dry as he takes his frustration out on it. 

   “And the shower head,” you continue. “They… they umm, did things to me with it. Horrible, awful things.” You see his lips part, eyes widening in horror out of your peripheral vision. He doesn’t like this anymore than you do. “They should’ve just finished me off when they strangled me with it while they had my face pressed against the wall…” You choke on a sob, like you’re reliving that night over right now. You still feel it. The press of the coiled hose wrapped tightly around your neck, choking you as they had their way with your frayed body. 

   Joel sits back on his heels, looking at you like you’re made of glass. Like he’s afraid one wrong word will send you over the edge. “Sweetheart, I… Fuck. M’so sorry that you went through that. That I didn’t get you out sooner. I swear to God if I ever get my hands on Garrett or any of those men, I’m gonna make ‘em pay. They’ll wish they never laid a finger on you. I’m gonna fuckin—” 

   You stop him from going any further. You don’t need him to be the knight in shining armor right now. You just need someone to listen. “You’ve done enough, Joel. You don’t have to. What’s done is done. I’ll never be anything more than something to use to them, and they’ll never change.”

   Staring off into the waves of water, you try to let the bubbles wash your pain away, but another tear slips free, falling down the side of your cheek.

   “Hey, look at me for a second,” he asks softly. You turn to face him all teary eyed, and he catches the tear from falling. His knuckles brush tenderly against your skin for just a second, and then his warmth is gone the second he pulls away. He doesn’t let it linger, but you almost wish he would. His touch is so feather-like. So soft and gentle and warm.  

   He takes a good look at your somber face and sighs, his fingers knocking against the side of the tub. “You never deserved any of that abuse. And I’m sick to death that it happened to you. But you can’t jus’… You gotta keep goin’, sweetheart. You gotta keep livin’. You have so much to give. You’re so full of life and bright and the bravest girl I’ve ever met, and you—”

   “Brave?”

   “S’right, sweetheart. Jus’ like I said the other day in the parking lot. You’re so very brave. And you’ve got a lifetime ahead of you jus’ waitin’.” He stares at the washcloth for a second, but then he’s looking back up at you. “It’s gonna be hard. God, it’s gonna be so fuckin’ hard for a while, but you’re gonna make it. With a little help, you’re gonna soar.” 

   You feel water burn the backs of your eyes, feel like you’re going to implode right now in this bathtub. But you push the fears away and look back up into the soft brown eyes of a man who cares what happens to you. 

   “It’s not gonna be easy, but you’re gonna get through it. You’re gonna have bad days where you feel like you can’t do anything, but those are the days you gotta jus’ take it one step at a time, like today. And those are the kinda days where it’s okay to ask for help. I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here to help, whatever I can with. I jus’ want you to be okay, sweetheart. That’s all I want. For you to live.”

   Your heart clenches in your chest as you gaze into those soft brown eyes. And you just stare with your arms wrapped around your legs, almost want to reach out and graze your fingers through his sandy brown locks. He does something to you. Makes you feel like you’re worth saving. Makes you feel alive. Makes you feel like a human being. 

   He had every chance to take advantage of you in here. He could’ve done anything, but he chose to protect you and take care of you instead. 

   He took care of you. 

   So you continue to stare into those glossy brown eyes, memorizing every speck of gold in his flecked irises. He kinda reminds you of sunshine, warm rays of yellow and orange peeking over the horizon. 

   He reminds you of safety. He’s safe.  

   You shift in the bubbles that cover you, watch as the water breaks against your knees, and then your eyes are back on him just like you’re mesmerized. “How is it that every single particle of me doesn’t want to trust another man ever again, but I trust you?”

   A smile crosses his lips. “You trust me?”

   “Mhm.”

   He takes a good look at you and smiles wider, making his dimple sink into his left cheek. It tugs a little at your heartstrings. “Well then, thank you for trustin’ me.”

   You nod and peek up through your eyelashes, waiting a few seconds before you confess something. “You make me feel safe…”

   His brown eyes delve deep into yours, and his smile still hasn’t faded. “That’s ’cause you are, sweetheart. You’re safe with me. Always. I would rather kill a thousand men than ever lay a harmful finger on you. You’re too special for that, sweet girl. You deserve good things. You deserve the world.”

   His voice sounds like velvet. Smooth, delicate, soft. And even though you’re laid out like bare bones and crumbled dust, he seems to cover all your vulnerabilities and put all your broken pieces back together like glue.

   Somehow, he can knock the breath out of you but also give you an overabundance of oxygen at the same time. He’s good at that. Bringing you life when you feel like you’re getting buried alive. He gives life. Gives you life. And you feel so alive around him.

   You could drown in this bathtub, disappear under the thick sheen of bubbles until the world goes silent, but he wouldn’t let you go so easily. So maybe you’ll just drown in him instead. 

   Silence resonates over the bathroom. Only the longing stares and unspoken words fill the empty void. And it’s so obvious now why every time you stare into those soft brown eyes you fall a little more. 

   That’s it. You’re falling for him. Slowly, cautiously, silently. And maybe one day he’ll catch you, too. Maybe you’ll just fall into his arms one day when you’re a bit braver. Maybe he’ll take the sting out of your bleeding wounds. Maybe he’ll be exactly what you’ve needed all along. 

   But today, you’re not that brave. So you’ll just keep it bottled up like you do most things. For now, you’ll just let the slow burn simmer until it’s an uncontrollable wildfire that bursts into fiery flames. 

   Another few minutes pass by and just as the bath water starts to get cold, Joel asks, “You ‘bout ready to get out, sweetheart?”

   “Yeah. It’s getting a little cold now.”

   “Alright. Well, here’s a clean towel. Gonna put it right here for you.” He sets a fluffy white towel next to the side of the tub and nods his head toward the sink. “And I put your pajamas on the counter for you.”

   “Thank you,” you reply quietly, fascinated by the lengths he goes to make sure you’re taken care of.

   “You gonna be okay?” he asks, his words softening like his gentle brown eyes.

   “I think so,” you nod as a bubble pops around you. 

   “Alright, sweetheart.” He pushes off the floor with a grunt and heads toward the closed door, his hand reaching for the doorknob. “Well, I’ll let you get dried off and changed. I’m jus’ gonna…”

   “Joel?” You stop him before he leaves the room.

   “Yeah?” He turns his head, slicking a hand back through his dark locks.

   “Thank you… for being here for me.”

   A gentle smile meets his lips and a soft chuckle comes out. “Anytime, angel. Anytime.”

   Angel. He called you angel. 

   With one more glance, he’s exiting the bathroom, pulling the door shut behind him. You sink into the tub, letting out a deep breath and closing your eyes. 

   Joel did it. He helped you take a small step forward, helped you face one of your fears. And he didn’t push you, didn’t even nudge you toward the shower head. Instead, he drew you a bath and helped you get through it in one piece. You don’t think you can ever say enough words to thank him for what he did tonight. But deep down, he knows. 

   After drying off and throwing on your pink pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, you run the towel through your wet strands and rake the brush through your locks, already exhausted from the exertion of your shower meltdown. But then relief hits you that you took one step. 

   The first step is always the hardest, and Joel was right there, holding your hand the entire way. He was the reason you made it into the bathtub. And with him, it wasn’t as scary as you thought it’d be. Although, it was still terrifying, but you did it. 

   One step forward, no more back. 

   When you’re slipping under the sheets and about to turn off the bedside lamp, a slight knock sounds across the room, and your head snaps to the closed door, pulling your hand back from the lit lamp. 

   “Come in,” you echo across the big room. 

   The doorknob turns and in comes Joel, hesitantly hovering by the threshold of the open door, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You all settled?”

   “All settled,” you reply, shifting just a smidge beneath the warm comforter.

   “That’s good.” He leans against the doorway, his broad muscles pulling against the flannel fabric, eyes as warm as the first night you saw them. 

   You fidget your fingers around a thin piece of string, flicking your eyes nervously up at the man that stands in the glow of the dim hall lights. A man that helped you face one of your fears. And suddenly, you can’t think of what to say, so you just silently stare up at him until he speaks. 

   “Jus’ wanted to see if you got to bed alright.” He hovers there, big hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the heel of his leather boots. 

   “Oh, right. Yeah, guess I made it alright.”

   He nods, giving you another soft smile in return. “You need anything? Water, tea?” 

   Shaking your head, you smile. “No. I think I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

   “Anytime, sweetheart.”

   Another pause and then he’s slowly turning away from you. “Well, uhh. I’ll let you get some sleep, sweetheart. S’been a long day—”

   “Wait,” you stop him and watch him turn back toward you, his eyebrows threaded together, an eager stare masking his face. 

   “Yeah?” he asks, anticipation hanging in the air. 

   This is it. You gulp down a breath, blow one out, and let another fall from your lips. “Joel, I just wanted to say thank you. For… for helping me take that first step of facing something that’s been eating me alive.”

   He nods, the pad of his thumb brushing over his denim jeans. “You were brave doin’ that, you know? After what you’ve been through… That took a lot of guts.”

   “Yeah…” you whisper out, nails digging deep into the blanket over your thighs, but then you flick your eyes up to him. “Not just for that either but also for listening to me. You didn’t have to…”

   “I did have to, though. That’s what you needed. Someone to listen.”

   Your eyes widen, throat tightens up, and you feel the prick of a tear meet your lash line. He wants to listen to you. He didn’t shut you out when you needed to get a little weight off your shoulders.

   Brushing away the tear before it can fall, you give him a look that says how desperate you are to be free from these nightmares that plague your mind. “Maybe if I just… talk about it then maybe it won’t hurt so bad.”

   His face drops, and his big, sad eyes look like a lost puppy who just watched its owner drive off without them. “Oh, sweetheart… I’m always here. I’ll always listen. You jus’ let me know when, and I’ll be right by your side. And Tess will listen. Ya know, when you’re ready, that is. But I’ll be your outlet when you need one.”

   You tug on a little smile, giving everything you have to show him how grateful you are he’s here. If it wasn’t for him, you might’ve been lost to the shadows already. But there he is, trying to pull you into the sunlight. 

   Sunlight. He’s sunlight. 

   “You always seem to know exactly what to say, don’t you?” you say reassuringly, eyes glossy as you look up into pools of warmth. 

   He shrugs his broad shoulders and gives you a crooked smile. “I try, sweetheart.”

   There’s a pause in the room, a silence that’s fallen like snow. You’ve suddenly forgotten how to speak so instead, you lift the blanket higher under your chin and slip down further in the bed, letting a yawn leave your lips. 

   Joel shifts by the door and places a large hand on the handle, about to make his exit. “Well, I’ll let you get some sleep, sweetheart.”

   “Yeah, good idea,” you yawn again, now realizing how tired you actually are. 

   But before he steps out, he turns back and looks at you with those sappy brown eyes you can’t seem to get out of your head. “Oh, before I forget…” He pauses to take a breath. “They might’ve tried to drain you, deplete you of everything inside you, but they didn’t steal it all. You’ve still got your shine, your soul, your heart. And they can’t ever take that from you. You’ve got so much potential in you, and I see it all. You’re gonna glow. I already see that flame in you. S’burnin’ brighter than a wildfire.”

   Eyes as wide as can be, you swallow back a choke and feel your eyes swimming. Did he really just say that?

   Brighter than a wildfire. 

   You open your mouth but nothing comes out. It’s like you’re stunned in place, frozen under a bright spotlight with nowhere to run. Nowhere except maybe to Joel because he’s at the end of the bright light just waiting for you. 

   He’s waiting. 

   “Thanks for seeing that I was worth saving…” you whisper out, still enamored by his kind words, his doe eyes, his beautiful heart. 

   “You’re welcome, angel,” he smiles, his hand still hovering over the doorknob. “Well, good night, sweetheart. Try to get some sleep.”

   “Good night…”

   And then he’s shutting the door softly, leaving you still mesmerized and bewitched by all the events that unraveled this evening. But most of all, you can’t forget every single word he said to you. 

   He sees potential in you, sees it all. He thinks you were worth saving. Thinks you’re gonna glow and shine and thrive. 

   As you rest your head on the fluffy pillow and close your eyes, all you see is Joel. Joel Joel Joel. And he’s the last thing you see before you slip off into a deep sleep. Except he’s still there in your dreams, shining like gold under the sunlight. 

   He’s sunlight. 

Tag List: @clawdee @jellybeanxc @lotusbxtch @thebeldroramscal @laurrrra

@whxtedreams @sawymredfox @sanarsi @mountainsandmayhem @bitchytimetravelqueen

@southernbe @katinasweeney @pixelspunk @amyispxnk @mysterious-moonstruck-musings

@christinamadsen @aurorawritestoescape @evolnoomym @littlevenicebitch69 @alltheirdamn

@inept-the-magnificent @maried01 @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @fandomdaydreamer @elliaze

@callmecath1 @kulekehe @yorkshirewench @untamedheart81

@tateypots @stylesispunk @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @mellymbee @pascalsbae

@locaparapedrito @ladyofmidlo72 @readingiskeepingmegoing @copperhalfcent @axshadows

@here-briefly @cozylittlepigeon @pastawench @keylimebeag @joelsoftie

@romanarose @captainredspade @megangovier @bishtrouille @almodovarispunk

@papipascaaaal @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler @bambisweethearts @puddles221b

@valkyreally @northennlights

[jenoslutie]

bad idea, right? l l.dh

❥ Synopsis: You swear you've moved on, you swear you're happy in your relationship. But why is Donghyuck still on your mind? and why are you in his bed again

❥ Genre: Ex FWB!Donghyuck, Bf!Jeno, angst, smut, ??? with benefits au, she is toxic.

❥ Warnings: disloyalty, blackmailing, suggestive but no actual smut, just a whole lot of shitty behaviour from mc, even more implications to recording during sex jeno x reader, haechan x reader. not a happy ending.

❥ Word count: 3.8K

❥ a/n: hellooo angels <3 so uh, this is part 2 of is it casual!!! i KNOW this is not what u guys wanted but i fear this is how the story went!!! as always, feedback is much appreciated :P !! also THANK U TO @be-my-sunrise and @hanniesbrat for letting me yap to you guys about this odd ass fic LMAO

You hated the fact your boyfriend was roommates with the man that ruined you. You hated walking into your boyfriend’s apartment and seeing his face there, staring back at you as if nothing ever happened. You hated having sex with your boyfriend knowing he could come home at any time and hear you. You hated the fact that he still thought that your boyfriend was your friend and treated him like one. 

Jeno, your boyfriend, has been nothing but the best to you. He comforted you through all the late nights you wanted to spend crying, he held you through every moment you spent crying over that fucker until you realized how much you really like him. No man has ever treated you the way Jeno has. No love has ever compared to the love Jeno has given you and you wouldn't trade it for the word. 

“Jeno, I really don’t want to see him, can you just come over instead?” 

That’s how alot of your nights went, 

baby <3: donghyuck told me i need to move out baby <3: he fucking sucks  baby <3: he said i need to break up with u or leave because he can't stand seeing u around 

you: what the actual fuck  you: i'm so sorry  you: he actually sucks so bad  you: you’re welcome to move in with me in the meantime  you: or however long u want you: i'm so sorry for dragging u into this mess jen you: seriously 

baby <3: it’s not your fault baby  baby <3: we’re in this together. 

“You packing up your shit or what, loverboy?” Donghyuck smirked, leaning against Jeno’s door frame. 

“Use your eyes, Donghyuck.” Jeno scoffed, not sparing him a glance. He continued to pack his stuff into his boxes. 

“Oh, don’t forget to pack your girlfriend’s clothes! In Fact, I might have some in my room too, you want me to bring them to you?” 

“Fuck off, Donghyuck.” 

One thing you know for sure is Donghyuck fucking sucks. If he didn’t make that clear the first time around. You’d say you wish the worst upon him. However, some nights, you get deep in your thoughts and thoughts about your relationship with Donghyuck and you miss it. But one thing never changed, you always had Jeno by your side, every time, without fail. 

“Jeno, what if I never met you?” 

“Where’s this coming from?” He chuckled, pulling you in closer and kissing your head for reassurance. “I’m sure i’d find you one way or another, you're my person” 

It was little things like this that made you fall for him. You truly believe Jeno was the one for you. No one treated you half as good as he did. 

“I never want to leave you, angel. You’re mine forever” You smiled, cuddling closer to Jeno, you smiled to yourself when his scent hit you. He smelled heavenly, like he always did, the same comfort and warmth that drew you into him in the first place making you desire him even more today. 

unknown: hey unknown: i'm sure you know who this is unknown: we need to talk unknown: don’t tell jeno. 

Your heart sank. Donghyuck? It can’t be. 

you: who is this? 

unknown: [attachment: 1 video]  unknown: remember me? 

Your jaw dropped, clicking on the video to see you bent over the sink in a bathroom you could never forget, ever. Your hair a mess, you're deliriously calling yourself ‘his forever’. You fucking hated that he had anything to black mail you with such as this. You hated yourself for giving him that type of power. 

you: donghyuck. you: we have nothing to say to each other  you: dont try to contact me again

unknown: you’d be fine with me sending this to your boyfriend though, right?

Immediately, you called him. He was sick in the head and only got more and more out of hand. 

“Donghyuck, you’re not fucking funny” you spat, venom laced in every word

“Funny? Babe, who said I was trying to be funny?” He chuckled “I’m serious, did you forget your little boyfriend lives right next door?” 

You heard him knock on the wall, screaming out your boyfriend’s name.  “Jeno!” 

“Shut the fuck up!” A faint voice in the back. 

“Fuck off, Donghyuck.” And with that you hung up, falling back onto your bed with a sigh. 

“Jeno stop! They’ll hear us” You giggled, lightly pushing Jeno’s head away from his spot in between your legs. He’d been trying to get you worked up through your clothes the whole time youve been over at his apartment. This was the last week of him living here before he officially moves in with you and you both were ecstatic. Last week you’d have to see his face, last week you’d have to be in constant fear that he’ll overhear you and Jeno having sex and last week you’d have to even think about him.  

“We’re alone, baby” he pinned your arms down with one hand. “Let me eat you out baby, promise you’ll be good?” You gave in, nodding at the promise of Jenos mouth on you. 

“I’ll be good.” 

Jeno was talented with his tongue. His technique was unlike any other. He knew how to have you arching into his touch, begging for more, cumming within seconds. You’d describe him as a walking sex god. His way of having you craving more was unmatched. And you don’t think you’ve ever had anyone quite like that before. Not even Donghyuck. 

“Stop thinking about that fucker” Your boyfriend frowned, he could read you like a book and you genuinely dont know how he does it “He doesnt matter right now, it’s just you and me baby” 

‘I love you, Jeno” 

“I love you more than you can imagine, baby” 

He kissed you hard, taking your mind off anything you’d been thinking of before. All you could think of Jeno’s mouth on yours, kissing you with everything he had. Within a moment, Jeno had you undressed, laying under him in all your naked glory. Smiling your love drunk smile at him. Jeno trailed kisses down your body, all the way down to your pussy. 

“Jeno?” you called out, looking down at him with big, innocent eyes. 

“Yes, baby?” he smiled at you sweetly, starting to trail his tongue along your slit, “Pretty, pretty pussy” he mumbled under his breath. 

“Please fuck me already, I cant wait anymore. I need you in me” You pleaded, knowing your boyfriend would do anything but deny you anything.  

“God, I love you. Anything for you baby” He took no time before hovering over you again, pressing a soft kiss to your mouth. “My angel, all mine.” 

“She’s yours?” A voice suddenly interrupted you, a voice that was all too familiar. Jeno’s body hurriedly covered yours, protecting you from the eyes of the intruder. 

“Donghyuck, get the fuck out” Jeno spat. 

“No, If i remember correctly, she’s mine” 

“I was never yours,” You countered, pulling Jeno onto you closer. 

“Oh yeah? You want me to show you the video? As far as i know, your little boyfriend here still hasn’t seen it” 

You felt Jeno freeze, “What video?” Jeno asked you, looking at you with nothing but confusion in his eyes. 

Donghyuck kissed his teeth, “Oh, guess I shouldn't have brought that up right now. right, Y/N?” 

“Donghyuck, just get the fuck out.” 

Jeno pulled away from you as soon as Donghyuck left. 

“What video?” He repeated, looking into your eyes with the same hurt that you once looked into his with.  “Donghyuck recorded a video of us the last time we fucked, it was at his parents house on christmas, remember? Well, basically in the video he made me say I’m his forever. And he wont stop blackmailing me with it” 

Jeno sighed. “He's blackmailing you?”  

“Yeah, look.” you reached for your phone to find the messages Donghyuck had sent you the other day. You looked away from Jeno, feeling ashamed from the whole situation. Donghyuck apparently lived to humiliate you, never letting you catch a break from his antics. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” He hugged you, pulling your naked body against his own. “You could’ve told me sooner, I could’ve dealt with him myself” Tears were threatening to slip from your eyes, feeling overwhelmed by Jeno’s loving words and Donghyuck’s bullshit. 

“But i couldn’t, Jeno” Full on sobbing now, you let the tears fall freely down your cheeks. “I was too scared, he’s insane Jeno” Jeno just hummed, rubbing your back reassuringly. 

“You’re not mad?” You asked 

“It’s not fair of me to be mad, this happened before we were dating, it’s not fair for me to hold that against you.” He smiled, pulling away to look at your red, puffy, tear stained face. “My baby. Not his, I promise I’ll get us out of here as soon as i can” 

donghyuck: i heard u and ur little bf were on a break  donghyuck: i think i have some ways to make your break worthwhile babe

you: i'm not your babe. donghyuck.  you: plus, you’re the reason we’re on break in the first place. you: dont contact me again, please. 

donghyuck: you know you miss me y/n.  donghyuck: don’t you miss the way i made you go crazy?  donghyuck: remember the time in my car? after i caught you kissing that fucking loser chenle? donghyuck: you were on me like you needed me to breathe. you can’t even deny it.  donghyuck: now open the door baby, i’m outside. 

You were quick to open the front door, seeing Donghyuck standing infront of you with that stupid fucking smirk on his face. He knew that was your weakness. He knew he was your weakness. 

“Miss me?” You hated his cocky tone. You hated that you actually opened the door for him. You hated that you actually did miss him. He let out a chuckle at your silence, he knew how to read you like none other. Not even Jeno. 

“C’mon, let me in. You know you want to” You hated yourself for actually stepping aside and allowing him into your house, into your safe space. Memories of the endless nights you spent crying over him in the safety of your own house all blurry. 

“H-Hyuck..”

 “Oh? We’re back to Hyuck now?” 

“Is it bad that I want you to kiss me right now?” Your words were hushed but loud enough for him. 

“Yeah?” You nodded, looking down at your feet, too scared to look at him. “Why don’t you beg for it? Since you like to do that a whole lot hmm?” He smiled when he heard you whimper, inching closer to you slowly until he was close enough to wrap his arms around you. 

“Are you gonna beg or are you gonna make me wait longer?” Immediately, a sob left your lips “Hyuck, please kiss me. I missed your lips on mine so much” 

And without another word, his lips were pressing onto yours with the same intensity you craved, the same intensity that once drew you into him. You swear you almost fell for him again when he cups your face, tilting your head up and deepening the kiss. He began walking, lips still on yours forcing you to walk backwards blindly until suddenly you were falling back onto your couch where he followed suit. 

You pulled away, admiring the honey skinned man above you with a small smile. “I missed this” A soft smile mirrored the one adorning your face. 

“I missed you like crazy, no other girl compared to you”

“Why’d it take you so long to realize?” He paused, staring at you blankly. 

“Just– took me a minute..” with a sigh, he leaned down and kissed you again, trailing his hands under your shirt. Grazing your warm skin with his cold hands, sending chills through your body. 

“You gonna let me fuck you? Remind you how I'm so much better than your little boyfriend?” 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“Oh? Last time I checked you were smitten over that guy” 

You hated where this conversation was going so you tried your best to change the topic, “You’re the one about to fuck me right now no?” 

“Shut u–” He was cut off by the sound of your phone ringing. 

Jeno. 

Jeno has given you space for almost a month now. Only sending you messages to check in on you occasionally. All to which you replied positively, ensuring him that you’ll be ready to get back with him soon. In reality though, you were nowhere near getting back with Jeno. You spent nearly every night of the past month in Donghyuck’s bed, either cuddled into him or you under him. Something about the way Donghyuck made you feel was unmatched and you’ll never get sick of saying that. 

You stepped into Donghyuck’s kitchen early in the morning, seeing him in just a pair of grey sweatpants with his back turned towards you. It didn’t take long for the waft of the pancakes he’d been cooking up to reach you. 

You gawked, “You’re making breakfast?” He turned to you, an unimpressed look on his face (though you could see him fighting a smile.) “Does that surprise you?” and you fought the urge to affirm that it does truly surprise you to see him doing something nice for you. 

Instead, you hummed, “No, not really.” With a small smile on your lips, you walked up to Donghyuck who had switched his attention back to the pancakes he had cooking on the stove, wrapping your arms around his bare torso. His skin was soft and warm under your touch. 

“Good morning, angel” He hummed, placing a hand over yours. The two of you swayed in a comfortable silence. This is how times with Donghyuck usually went, quiet and calm until he was suddenly kissing up on you, feeling up on you or begging to be inside you. 

“You wanna sit and wait at the table for me?” You chirped a “sure” and detached from him, making your way over to the dining table, sitting down on your favourite chair. 

baby <3: good morning angel baby <3: can i see you today?  baby <3: i miss you, wanna hear your voice so bad :( 

you: of course you can :)  you: actually, let me just call you right now. you can still come over later tho :P 

It didn't take long for an incoming call from Jeno to come through.  

“Good morning angel” You could hear his smile through the phone. A smile creeping up on your own face just from picturing the beautiful smile adorning his face. “Good morning, handsome” He chuckled, “You sleep well?” 

“You could say that..” You trailed off, thinking of the way you were cuddled into Hyuck last night, the warmth of his body keeping your own body warm. You slept better than you have in a while. 

“I miss sleeping with you” Jeno admits, the pout in his voice too obvious. You frowned, feeling the guilt take over you. 

“You can stay the night tonight if you want” You lowered your voice, hoping Hyuck wouldn’t hear all the way in the kitchen. 

“Oh, no, I still want to give you space! I think i’d be impeding a little if I were to stay the night” 

“I don't think so, you’re welcome to stay” 

You heard him sigh in relief, “Okay then, I’ll come by in a bit.” 

“See you soon, angel.” 

You bid your farewells and that's when you noticed Hyuck walking into the room. “Who was that?” He questioned, setting the two plates of pancakes down. You broke eye contact with him, focusing your  attention onto the pancakes in front of you. 

“I asked you something, you know?” 

“It was Jeno.” 

He hummed, wordlessly digging into his own plate of pancakes. You felt so guilty. This isn’t where you belonged. You belong next to Jeno, in his arms, under him, near him. You belong with Jeno. Someone who treats you like a proper human. But you found yourself running back to Donghyuck and you hated it. Worst part of it all? Donghyuck didn’t even know you and Jeno aren’t officially broken up. You’d been too scared to tell him, too scared of the possibility of losing Donghyuck in your life. So you’d decide it’s best if he doesn’t know your relationship with Jeno. It’s not even like it matters, right?

“What the actual fuck” Jeno gawked, looking down on his phone screen. He’d originally planned for today to be a rest day after the hell of a day he had at work yesterday but his peace was disrupted when suddenly he got a text from his ex roommate. 

donghyuck: hey jeno  donghyuck: its me donghyuck donghyuck: i know you might hate me right now but you might wanna see this.  donghyuck: [attachment: 1 video]  donghyuck: before you come for me, i had no clue you guys weren’t officially broken up at the time of this  donghyuck: im sorry jeno. 

Attached was a video of a girl, naked body on all fours as the person behind the camera (presumingly Donghyuck) pounded into her from behind. The problem? The problem was the girl had the same hair as you, the same body, the same everything as you. Even that little tattoo on your shoulder that read “delicate” in a beautiful cursive font that Jeno had helped pick out. Everything was you. 

jeno: donghyuck.  jeno: thanks for this… i genuinely can't believe it. 

Within a heartbeat, Jeno was pulling up your contact. 

baby <3: hi angel  baby <3: can i come over? i left my hoodie at ur house and i need it

you: sureeee thing!  you: let me know when ur abt to reach <3 

Jeno, furious, hurriedly grabbed his keys and got in his car. He thought after what you’d been through, you’d know how it feels to get your heartbroken like this. He’d expected you of all people to be better than this but no, you had to be the absolute worst of them all. He thought maybe you of all people would keep his heart safe but no, you clearly gave no fucks about him or his heart. 

He managed to calm down by the time he got to your apartment. Breathing in and out before ringing the doorbell. 

“Hi Jen!” You chirped, allowing him in. You were wearing an oversized shirt that exposed your newly tattooed shoulder. The same tattoo that was visible in the video. Jeno’s heart sank the more he looked at you. The girl he once gave his heart, his love, his everything to, is the one who he’s currently dreading speaking to. In other words, he hates you right now. Hate was one word he would’ve never imagined using with you. 

“You okay, love?” you frowned, wrapping your arms around him tightly, pulling him close into you. He hated the innocent look on your face as you peered up into his own. He had a soulless look in his eyes. “I’m fine,” He forced a tight lipped smile, peeling your arms off him. “I’m gonna– uh, grab my clothes.” 

You watched as he walked into your room and went straight for your closet, rummaging through to find his hoodie. 

“Jeno” You started, walking into the room behind him. “What’s wrong? Talk to me baby,” 

Jeno sneered, turning around to look at you with narrowed eyes. “What's wrong Y/N?” His voice raised, he wasn't yelling but it was clear that he was upset. “What’s wrong is while I gave you space to figure out your shit with Donghyuck, you went out and were fucking him. While continuing to lead me on. Isn’t that wrong, Y/N? Don’t you think I deserve any loyalty? Any love in return? While I sat here, impatiently waiting for you to come back to me, you were taking advantage of it and fucking the reason we were on break. Don’t you remember how we met in the first place? All those nights I spent being a shoulder for you to cry on, being there for you every step of the way. Don’t you think I deserve anything?” The hurt in his eyes was more than evident. You looked dumbfounded, eyes wide in shock as you stood frozen. 

“Jeno–” You cut yourself off, at a loss for words. Sighing in defeat, you gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I felt so incredibly guilty everytime, but something in me just couldn't stop. I hate myself for doing it and you deserve to hate me for it too but I’m so sorry.” 

“I loved you, Y/N. How do you think it feels when your girlfriend’s ex fling– or whatever he was, texts you randomly, telling you that your girlfriend had been fucking him the whole time you’d been on break? It’s not a great feeling, I’ll tell you that. Oh, and having to see a video of it? Even worse. I’m sorry Y/N but I don’t deserve this. I gave you my everything and you couldn’t even spare me an ounce of loyalty.” 

“Jeno, a-are you leaving me?” He felt like laughing in your face, do you seriously think he’ll stay after this? 

“Genuinely, do you think I’d wanna stay after the fact, Y/N? Honestly, I want nothing to do with you anymore. Consider us done.” He gave you that same, tight lipped smile, gathered his belongings and walked out your bedroom door. 

“Jeno!” You called out, he stopped in his steps, turning to look at you one last time “I’m so sorry, I love you.” Tears were threatening to spill from your eyes. 

“No, you really don't. Goodbye Y/N, don’t contact me again, please, for my sake.” And with that, he walked out your door, leaving you broken and in tears. You had no one to blame but yourself. If you hadn’t let Donghyuck in that day, you would have saved yourself from this mess, you would've still have Jeno in your life and you wouldn't be here, crying in your doorway. 

Filled with rage, you dialled Donghyuck’s number, he picked up on the second ring. 

“Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me, Y/N?” He spat, you could tell he was angry. “You had me thinking this whole time, you’d broken up but in reality, you were leading on poor Jeno and still fucking me? How do you think that makes either of us feel? I know I did something wrong the first time around but this time? You fucked up, Y/N.” 

“Hyuck liste–” 

“Don’t call me, Y/N.” 

With that, he hung up. Your heart dropped, you felt as if you’d lost it all in the span of under an hour. All that you cared about in life had been ripped out of your hands with no one to blame but yourself. You hated what you’d done, hated what you’d done to these two poor men. Neither of them deserved it, especially Jeno and you had no way of going back in time and fixing it. 

[nastybuckybarnes]

Escape Plans

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley X Reader

Summary: Ghost does all he can to stop you from leaving.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Language,

Word Count: 1.6K

A/n: for @daugherofneptune because yeahhhh sorryy but give your dog another boop for me

~*~

Simon manages to break his personal record with bladder-holding, but eventually, he leaves his quarters to deal with his needs.

For a while he was tempted to re-purpose the garbage can beside his desk, but eventually decided that would probably be a little too messy.

So, after a few more minutes of careful deliberation, he lets you know his plans to leave, then exits his quarters.

The sound of the door closing is all you need to hear to yank the bathroom door open, rushing into the room and quickly getting dressed.

Your fingers tremble as you start executing your plan.

You only have a few minutes before he gets back, and you still need to leave his quarters without being seen.

As quickly as you can, you pile on a few of his heavier sweaters and some extra socks, then shove two pairs of pants on your legs.

An extra balaclava is tucked safely into your pocket, and then you're turning to the door ready to make good your escape.

Unfortunately, your plans are thwarted by the door opening.

Your heart jumps into your throat and your eyes widen when they meet Simon's.

He pauses for a moment, a brow raising.

"Going out?" He asks.

You frown up at him, trying to step around him only for him to mirror you.

"Going," you try, stepping the other way only for him to do the same.

"I see that. Where?"

You huff out an angry breath and glare up at him.

"Anywhere. Any place that is not here. That will be better."

He doesn't say anything, just stares at you.

"I... I go back to city. Safer there."

Simon scoffs and shakes his head, "you don't really believe that, do you?"

Your glare hardens.

"I stay in city for long time and I survive. I don't get hurt. I stay with you for weeks... get hurt many times."

He sighs, dropping his gaze for a moment then reaching toward you, his heart hurting when you step just out of his reach.

"Mouse, I know. And I'm sorry. It won't happen again-"

"No! I don't want to stay. Please."

If his heart hurt before, it's absolutely shattered now.

"It won't be much longer now. Can you hold out for just a little bit? Please."

You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the ground as tears well up in your eyes.

"Why? So that next time you go they can find me again? Hurt me again?"

"That won't happen," he says darkly, "they know, all of them, that nothing comes between you and me."

It's true.

Matthew's screams could be heard even from how far in the forest Ghost had taken him.

When he returned to base with lighter shoulders and blood splattered on his face, nobody even glanced at him for fear of being next.

Simon cups your jaw and the side of your neck with one hand and uses the other hand to push your hair aside.

"M'not gonna lose you, Mouse. Not when 've only just found you."

Your bottom lip starts to wobble and you pull your eyes from his.

"Look at me."

After a few heartbeats, you reluctantly bring your gaze back to his.

Gently, he takes your hand and puts it on his chest.

"This. You feel this in here?" He asks.

You don't answer right away.

No, instead you wait until you feel the rhythmic thumping before you nod.

"That belongs to you, got it?"

You nod at him.

"And you? You belong to me. And you must be outta your mind if you think m'gonna let what's mine walk out like that."

His words make your belly flip and you sigh, leaning your face into his hand.

"I don't like it here," you whisper.

"I know, Mouse. But soon I'll take you away from here. You won't have to worry about any of this ever again, I swear."

You tug your head back a bit and look up at him.

"Where will we go?"

He shrugs, tugging you into a hug and stepping further into the room.

"Anywhere you want. The city, the country, the ocean, the mountains. Wherever you want."

You're quiet for a good few moments before finally snuggling closer to him.

"Fine. But I don't leave."

"Good." That's exactly what he wants.

"No. This room. I don't leave."

Oh. Not what he really wants.

"You're gonna stay in this room for the next several weeks? Mouse, these walls are gonna get borin' to look at."

You slowly pull back to look up at him, and he wonders what he's said to deserve such a bitch-face.

"I live in cage before here. Walls will be fine."

He has no rebuttal.

"Well, I can bring you somethin'. Anythin' to make your stay better... more comfortable. Anythin' you need or want, jus say the word and I'll get it for you."

Your brows draw together.

You don't need anything.

Seeing the look on your face, he's quick to chime in with things he thinks you may like.

"What about more sketchbooks?"

That would be nice.

Slowly you nod.

"I can bring you a tablet, too. S'you can watch movies. We don't exactly have award winners, but some classics'll keep you occupied for the next little while," he rambles.

A frown finds your lips.

"What is tablet?"

Simon chuckles softly, kissing the top of your head tenderly.

"Oh, you're gonna love it. Can get ya almost anything with the touch of a button."

True to his word, he gets you set up with a tablet and several new sketchbooks, and spends a good portion of the afternoon showing you how to work the tablet.

"You'll have restricted access, but you know where to go if you have questions, and where to go if you want to watch movies. If you want anything else, you tell me. Okay?"

You don't say anything, only nod.

The corners of his mouth drop the tiniest bit when he notices the way you're avoiding his eyes once again.

"Mouse... you know that... that I put you down there because I had to. It was the only way for them to believe me. You know that I would never put you through that if there was any other choice, right?"

You nod again, sniffling and turning away from him the tiniest bit.

You know it's not his fault. You know that. You know that if there had been any other way for him to convince his team that you were innocent, he would've done it.

That doesn't change the fact that it was his face behind those bars. His hands that locked the door.

"Look at me. Please."

You flutter your eyes up to his, not bothering to mask the sadness you feel.

"When you go... lock door."

He's a little surprised by your words but nods his understanding.

"I will."

Though it goes directly against the rules, he swapped his door handle with the one on Soap's bathroom door. Prick can earn his privacy back.

Now, there's one added measure between you and the men on base. He wishes it wasn't necessary, but even he can only defend his men for so long.

"I'll lock the door and you open it to no one but me."

"You will bring key."

He blinks a few times before nodding once more.

"I will bring a key. That way you don't have to worry. Only person coming in and out of here will be me."

You look down again, fingers tapping the tablet gently as anxiety eats a hole in your stomach.

Simon's moving before he understands what he's doing, carefully taking off the chain around his neck.

"Here. I want you to have this."

You glance over to him, brows drawing together when he holds his dog tags out to you.

"You'll always have a piece of me. N'you know if you're with me nothin's gonna happen to you."

Though you don't fully understand the meaning of his words, the weight of them is not lost on you. You can feel the importance, the significance.

And so you let him carefully put them on you.

His eyes are focused on where they rest on your chest, on top of your heart.

Carefully, he cups your cheek and slides his thumb over your soft skin.

"You've no idea what you mean to me, Mouse. No idea. Almost wish you coulda been there to see what happened to that prick for what he did."

He means it when he says that, too.

He wishes you could've been there to see exactly what he did to him. Wishes you could've heard his apologies, his pathetic attempts at pleading for his life.

But the last thing he wants is for you to be scared of him.

"What... what did you do?" You ask, looking at him nervously.

His thumb drags over your bottom lip and he sighs.

"A lot. A lot of bad... horrible things. Hurt him real bad. And then I let him die. 'Cause that's what happens to people who hurt you. And I'll never forgive myself for being one of them."

You nod slowly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth then sighing gently.

"How long until we go home?" You ask after another moment, slowly bringing your hand up to his chest.

"A few weeks. Not much longer, and then it'll be jus' you and me."

Slowly, you nod.

You can do a few more weeks.

A few more weeks, then you start your new life in your new home with your Ghost.

With Simon.

Your Simon.

[captain039]

Part 4 Heal your hurt

Viktor x reader

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst, health issues, mental health issues, light swearing, chubby reader, intimacy, smut, friends to lovers, reader has chronic pain

warnings for the smut when it happens xD: Dominant Viktor, needy Viktor, needy ready, oral F and M receiving, praises, first times, riding, body worship, marking

Previous part <-

It’s been days since you’ve seen Viktor. It’s normal for him to go off for days without returning, just this time it feels targeted. Your last interaction was a whirlwind and you figure he needs some space to process what happened, hell you still need to process what happened. His voice was sharp and firm unlike his usual self. You bush yourself with your book, your MC’s have finally confessed and shared a steamy night which left you giggling to yourself till you imagined it was you and Viktor and then you contemplated. When Viktor does stumble home it’s 2 at night. You weren’t asleep, your hips aching from sitting all day. You were awkwardly lying on your stomach three pillows under your hips which somehow helped a bit. You just hoped he’d not look in and see you in this awkward position. You weren’t able to close your curtains so the moonlight was shining in. You hear him shuffle, sigh, place things down before he shuffles some more then stops.

“Are- are you awake?” Viktors uncertain voice comes from your doorway.

“I uh- maybe” you say turning your head so you’re facing him. Your bed is in a position so you can see out the door on your side.

“Is there a reason for such a position?” He asks head tilting a bit.

“Relief?” You say before realising that this in fact looks stupid and suspicious.

“Not like that!- my hips are hurting and if I put pressure on my knees they hurt too so I thought I’d shove pillows under my hips to elevate them and not hurt my knees” you babble in explanation cheeks hot, you’re thankful for your dimly lit room.

“I see” he says simply and you sigh really not wanting to move because even if it looks funny it’s not hurting.

“Are you ok?” You ask and he nods.

“A new project?” You add.

“Something like that” he shrugs a bit and you frown a bit as he looks to the floor instead. You nod and he shifts his weight.

“Goodnight” he says and heads off.

“Viktor-“ you call and move slowly.

“Yes?” He answers stopping.

“Did- did you wanna talk?” You ask sheepishly sitting a little stiffly. He hesitated and you think he’s going to brush you off.

“Can I come in?” He asks and you nod a little too quickly. He walks in and sits down beside you resting his cane beside him. You switch your lamp on wincing at the pain throbbing.

“A bad day?” He asks noticing and you sigh and nod.

“You know when I was growing up, I was always open about my pain, sharing it with my mum because I didn’t know what was going on, always crying in agony leaning on her for help. She let me, she helped me every step of the way and then she got sick when I was 18 and I just, bottled it all up. My father became a drunk and I had to do everything around the house and suffer in silence, if I showed any weakness in front of him I knew something would happen. Then my mother passed away and I shut everything down. I forced myself to think that none of this pain was real, made myself work and live alone even if I’d sometimes collapse from exhaustion” you open up to him staring at the floor as memory’s wash over of painful, sleepless nights.

“It’s worse at night” he says softly and you look to him.

“There’s a throb of pain from my ankle to knee to hip that goes up my spine” you feel your heart break at his words.

“It isn’t a one off throb, it’s constant, like a heartbeat pulsing” he adds.

“It stiffens my joints and muscles makes them cramp and tense” your hand twitches to hold his, but you don’t want to scare him.

“Mine is focused, thankfully. Yours is everywhere? Not just your legs and hips?” He asks and you nod.

“My shoulders, neck, arms, chest, ribs” you list sagging a bit to relieve some of the pain in your hips.

“A screw over of creation” you mutter insulting yourself.

“You are not, a ‘screw over of creation’” Viktor says frowning.

“You are beautiful, perfectly imperfect” you look to him noticing his eyes on you intensely and you feel a swell of emotion. You take a small breath and look away embarrassed.

“Were you away a few days because of what happened between us?” You whisper, you know it’s silly thinking but it still lingered.

“I- yes” he sighs and it stings but you nod.

“I don’t know what came over me” he mutters leaning against his cane.

“You were bossy” you try to joke lightly.

“I was” he smiles softly.

“Feelings, are complex, a puzzle I cannot solve with the equation constantly changing every second, there is no answer for emotions and feelings” his words make you frown lightly in thought.

“That’s what makes us human” you say shrugging a bit.

“I learnt to control my emotions very young, when they spiral so do my thoughts and I cannot have a jumble of thoughts as an inventor” you understand what he’s saying, sort of, you get where his point of view is coming from.

“You cannot have emotions when inventing otherwise you mess up” he adds and for some reason it leaves a hole in your heart, a string breaking.

“But you- you bring these feelings forwards, emotions I cannot understand, but it doesn’t… make me spiral in a way I don’t enjoy” his admission makes you tense on the spot and you hold breath thinking this is some sort of dream.

“When we were young, you never shied away from me or my strange inventions, you were always intrigued you never left me alone” he smiles faintly and you do to. It was true, you hardly let him be by himself whenever you were out.

“I was found by the academy, moved through training to be an assistant. I always wondered if I’d see you again” he says softly.

“The first time I did I didn’t believe it, I was heading home very late and I saw you, exhausted in a dirty white shirt and black pants covered in flour” you frown lightly he saw you coming home from work.

“I thought I was going mad seeing you, but then I saw you again, and again, same time leaving the bakery” he explains.

“I never saw you” you say confused.

“I didn’t want you to see me” he says and you frown.

“What- why?” You say baffled.

“You were so beautiful” he whispers and you feel your heart skip a beat.

“Sweaty, covered in flour and dirt?” You ask.

“Raw, unrefined, perfectly imperfect” he mutters.

“I saw your advertisement for a shared apartment and for selfish reasons I took it down and contacted you about it” you remember that day. Getting a letter signed with the letter V when you saw him at the apartment you were shocked. You figured V stood for Victoria or something like that, his hand writing was so neat.

“I watched you over the years, you’d become your own woman and I my own man, I watched the way you pushed yourself when you were working, finding you passed out on the couch, still in dirty work clothes” you remember the day Viktor had talked to you about your job, saying he could afford it if you quit, you’d never been so relieved in your life but you swore to work for rent another way. So you worked out a system you’ve stuck by. You wondered what he was getting at thought with all this reminiscing.

“I started- to fall” he says and you frown, fall? Fall in work? Life?

“Fall?” You say confused.

“In love” he says and you freeze processing.

“In love” you repeat and he nods.

“With- me?” You add.

“Yes with you” he confirms and you blink a few times.

“You fell in love with me?” You repeat.

“I did” he says.

“You did? You’re not anymore?” You frown and you hear him sigh annoyed, a hand goes to your face and forces you to look at him before lips are pressed against yours. You’re shell shocked before you kiss back hand lifting up to grip his vest.

“I sometimes forget you’re a little oblivious to things” he mutters against your lips you go to argue back but he silences you with his lips again. His thumb strokes against your cheek and you’re the one to pull back to breathe. His hand falls and you pant softly as you process the kiss.

“I’m not oblivious” you finally manage and you hear him laugh softly. It’s one of the rare times you’ve seen him laugh.

Next part ->

[it-happened-one-fic]

Twisted Weddings: Photoshoot #1 - Quite the Image

Summary: Your first photoshoot was going to be with Trey. The question was whether the presence of the bicycle or exactly how good he looked in a suit was more startling, and the bicycle really seemed to be winning. Either way, you could only hope your first attempt at modeling went pseudo-well.

Type: Female reader/ 800 Followers Event/ Series/ sfw/ fluff/ light-flirtation

Twisted Weddings Series Masterlist

Word count: 1346

“So… A bike,” Trey eyed the bicycle that was leaned against a pole as I shifted. Doing my best to not continue eyeing him. But, to be fair, I’d never actually seen Trey in a suit before. Much less one that was tailored specifically to make him look his absolute best.

I’d been impressed enough when I’d seen the gown I was wearing. A slim-fitting dress with fluttery, sheer sleeves that could get caught in even the smallest of breezes and made for a rather dreamy-looking dress.

And the embarrassing thing was that I knew that both it and I looked nice. Trey’s reaction could have only been so faked.

I could only hope that I hadn’t been as obvious in my surprise at how nice he looked. At the very least, I knew I hadn’t openly gaped at him.

“Maybe we’re both going to be riding it for the photo?” I stepped over next to Trey. Eyeing the lone visible prop for our photoshoot.

An old-looking bicycle.

Trey shook his head though, a slight frown on his face, “I doubt it. Your skirt might get caught in the wheel or something….”

He trailed off, glancing my way with a half smile as he tilted his head, “It probably would be a cute photo though.”

I nodded, quietly agreeing with him as I did my best to ignore the way the slight breeze ruffled my sleeves as he hummed thoughtfully.

“I guess it could be a picture of us walking together while pushing a bike?” He hardly sounded confident in his theory, but I felt myself nod, crossing my arms slightly as I continued to eye the bicycle.

But unfortunately, there was no telling exactly what Crewel had planned.

“Alright, Pups!” Me and Trey both jerked upright as Crewel strolled out of the building and over to where we were standing. Almost as if he’d been signaled by my thoughts that right now was the perfect time to make his appearance.

Trey and I turned together, both looking towards our instructor, and the man who skittered after him with all sorts of photography-related paraphernalia at the same time. And all at once I realized this was actually happening. As if the wedding clothes hadn’t been enough.

I was going to be featured heavily as a model in a photoshoot for Crewel’s latest designs for bridal clothes.

Trey and I briefly exchanged glances before we looked back towards our instructor who stopped in front of us. Almost as if we were thinking the same thing. But neither of us spoke as Crewel began to explain.

“I’m sure the two of you have already realized that you have this bicycle as your prop,” Crewel gestured idly to the bicycle, and we both nodded. With me glancing back at it and idly wondering exactly how this was going to work.

Me and Trey both looked towards Crewel for explanation, though. But both of us knew that Crewel was going to tell us how we were going to be posed and what we were going to be doing.

And he wasted no time in doing just that, “Good. Y/n. You get on the bike first. Trey, you’ll be behind them and actually pedaling.”

Trey hesitated slightly, glancing over at me worriedly before he looked towards Crewel, “But… Professor, won’t Y/n’s skirt get caught in the wheels?”

Crewel’s eyebrows arched at the young man next to me, and I shifted, idly scooting backwards as Crewel crossed his arms and eyed Trey, “Y/n is going to be riding side-saddle, Mr. Clover. Her skirt is slim-fitting and will take care of itself.”

Trey nodded, his eyes widening slightly before he turned, his gaze barely meeting mine as he made a slight face before reaching over and rolling the bike over so that I could perch on it carefully. All while Crewel continued.

“Both of you will need to ignore the photographer. He’s going to be snapping pictures the very moment the two of you are on the bike, but you need to pretend like he isn’t here. Do NOT look at the camera.”

I nodded lightly, balancing myself carefully. And the very moment I was balanced, Trey was on the bike behind me, bumping me slightly as he muttered apologies, and I shook my head. Scooting forward to try and give him more only to almost slide off the seat.

I could hear the camera snapping in the background as Trey caught me with an arm around my waist, laughing slightly as I gripped the handlebars in front of me and he pushed off.

The bicycle wobbled as he pedaled, and I tried to steer us in a reasonably straight path before he reached forward and grabbed the handle-bars as I slowly got tickled at exactly how bad we were doing.

But it was like something as simple as riding a bicycle had suddenly become impossibly difficult now that we were being looked at. 

My arms rested lightly on the front of the bicycle as I giggled, my laughter causing Trey to start chuckling behind me even as I heard Crewel release a sigh of long suffering as we came to a stop. Both of us laughing as the bicycle rocked to the side for what had to be the thousandth time.

I leaned back, sighing slightly as I twisted to see Crewel walking towards us before I glanced at Trey, “Think we’re in trouble?”

He shook his head, a smile still on his face as he offered a only slightly guilty-looking half shrug. But before either he or Crewel could speak, the photographer was piping up.

“Mr. Crewel, I actually got some good shots there!” Crewel stopped, his eyebrows arching as he looked at the photographer with almost the same degree of surprise as I felt.

Nonetheless, the man trotted over, showing Crewel the screen of his camera as he spoke, “All of these pictures show a certain degree of happiness wedding photos don’t often have due to how staged they are. These two actually look like a happy young couple having some fun on their big day.”

Crewel nodded as he looked through the pictures before pointing at one in particular, “This one.”

Apparently understanding, the photographer nodded, “Yes, I liked that one too. The way he’s smiling down at the young lady is particularly nice here, and they are just starting to laugh.”

“The wind also caught both the sleeves and the edge of the skirt nicely too,” Crewel paused, looking up at us with slightly arched eyebrows. “It looks like you’ve both lucked up. There are some good pictures here.”

“So we’re free to go?”  Trey looked about as hesitant as I felt, but Crewel nodded. 

“Since the photos are good, you’re done.” He paused, his gaze shifting to me as he tilted his head, “And how do you feel about going ahead and getting another photo-shoot done today, Pup?”

I hesitated before I nodded, “Yeah, that should be fine.”

“Alright then, and good work Mr. Clover,” I felt myself grin over at Trey who looked at me with a sigh. Like he knew perfectly well to expect teasing.

“Looking forward to becoming a poster boy for grooms everywhere?” I nudged with my shoulder as we both walked back towards the campus proper to get changed. Him back into his normal clothes and me into a different wedding gown.

He chuckled, only slightly flustered before he grinned over at me, a glint of meanness entering his honey-colored eyes, “Not as much as I’m looking forward to getting to see everyone else’s faces at the dorm.”

I blinked, tilting my head curiously at him, “You're heading back to the dorm to show the guys your suit?”

He chuckled again, shaking his head, “No. I meant when they see our pictures. Apparently we cut quite the image as a young couple.”

It was a fight not to shove him for his teasing, but I took it with only a slight bit of embarrassment.

After all, he was just quoting the photographer.

If you would like to read more

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Next: Coming Soon!

[fairyminnie444]

✨ the ultimate post u need to LET GO ✨

ok so what we KNOW and has already entered our heads:

i want it so I got it

circumstances DOES NOT matter

there’s no time to wait, it’s ALREADY done

“feeling is the secret” Neville Goddard

So why do we keep scrolling through tumblr, reddit, twitter to read more posts thinking that we will always find something more?

Because we are seeking reassurance, we might be subconsciously looking for validation or “proof” that your manifestation techniques are working or that you’re on the right path.

Each new post feels like it might hold the missing piece of the puzzle, even though you already have everything you need within you.

But the more you consume, the more your mind becomes overwhelmed, making it harder to trust your own intuition. Instead of clarity, constant scrolling can increase doubts and make you second-guess what you already know.

LETS BREAK THE CYCLE 🔁 ❎

✨ Set a Limit ✨

Give yourself a specific time frame for scrolling (e.g., 15 minutes). Once the time is up, redirect your focus to practices like visualization or affirmations or anything that make you FEEL your desire.

✨ Create Instead of Consume ✨

Shift your energy from seeking external input to producing something meaningful:

Write about what you already know (like I’m doing rn), If you don't want to post it just save it in your notes, draw it, make your vision board in Canva, etc.

LET IT GO, ITS DONE ✅

✨ Understand What “Letting Go” Means ✨

It doesn’t mean giving up on the desire, but rather stopping fighting the idea that it hasn’t arrived yet.

It’s trusting that the desire is already yours in 4D and that it will manifest in 3D, DEFINITELY. The world is a MIRROR of you inside.

✨ Strengthen Your Certainty ✨

Repeat to yourself:

“My desire is already mine, it is done.”

“I trust completely in the universe and my power.”

This trust helps you let go of control and stop looking for external evidence.

✨ Practice the Feeling of Already Having ✨

Close your eyes and imagine life as if the desire were already a reality.

Feel the joy, relief, and ease of already living it.

When you feel that you already have it, there is no need to “hold on” to the desire.

✨ Redirect Your Focus ✨

Instead of thinking about how or when, focus on living your life lightly.

Engage in hobbies, relax, enjoy the present, and trust that everything is moving in your favor.

✨ Observe Your Thoughts Without Attachment ✨

When thoughts like “what if it doesn’t happen?” arise, acknowledge them without holding on to them:

Say to yourself: “I see that thought, but I know it’s not true.”

✨ Trust the Intelligence of the Universe ✨

Remember: you don’t need to know how things will happen. The universe (or your subconscious mind) is already orchestrating everything to deliver you the best possible way.

Affirm: “Everything is always working out perfectly for me.”

✨ Gratitude in Advance ✨

Be grateful as if you already have the desire. Gratitude is a powerful way to let go:

“I’m so grateful that this is already mine. Thank you, universe.”

Letting go is a conscious choice to trust the process, because you already know it is yours. It is not about “forgetting” about the desire, but about stopping worrying about it. Live your life as if everything is already resolved, and the universe will mirror this certainty in your 3D.

[kingkat12]

sweet and innocent (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, dry-humping, biting, marking, teens being horny lol (everyone is legal dw)

summary: attempting to keep your hormones in check might be the hardest task of all-- it usually doesn't end the way you think it will. then again, when have you and Roman ever been able to control yourselves, anyway?

word count: 433 (teeny tiny friday treat!)

a/n: the real ones know that this is the fun part of sex lol, this might be an odd one but i needed to get this out of my brain... enjoy!!!

"Ouch," Roman breathed, an airy laugh following.

Hearing him groan like that made me realize what the fuck I was doing-- I had been so blinded by my arousal that I had sunk my teeth into his shoulder. It was certainly a reflex which I didn't know I had, and it was all crashing down on me as Roman pressed a kiss to my temple.

His voice was all raspy today, still a little breathless; "Wanna bite me, baby? Wanna hurt me?"

Everything came crashing down on me-- the way my legs were wrapped around him, how my arms were draped around his body, how desperate I was beneath him.

However, could you blame me?

Since I wasn't too keen on having my first time with my parents on the other side of the wall, and also because we were never at Roman's place, our usual make-out sessions had somehow morphed into... whatever this was. Our efforts at keeping our teenage hormones under wraps had failed miserably.

This, however, was next level from anything we had done before-- we were practically in our underwear (if you don't count the socks) with his hard, clothed cock grinding into the apex of my thighs, my soaked panties, brushing against my clit with every thrust. I really had no idea how we ended up like this, and how this was the third time we had allowed this to happen; all I knew was that it felt amazing.

It felt sweet, innocent-- good.

Good enough to drive me into a frenzy, biting down on his shoulder with no thought in mind other than the pleasure.

So I slowly laid my head back down on the pillow, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Sorry," I mumbled, trying my hardest not to think about how much I wanted him to move again. "Just-- Just forget that."

Roman hummed, pondering whether to let it slide as he glanced at the fresh bite mark on his shoulder. It was tiny compared to the rest of him, and the sight almost made me shiver-- there was something thrilling about marking him. Knowing he was still walking around with two old hickeys on his collarbones, having asked for them, made me further dizzy-- he liked being mine. 

He liked it a lot, actually. He just wouldn't confess to it so openly. 

Which is why I didn't expect him to retaliate in typical Roman fashion; "I might just have to bite you back for that," 

"Don't you dare!"

"I might," he said, eyes darkening as a sinister laugh built in his throat. "Not now, not today... But I might."

And so it begun-- a new scare.

Fuck.

[heeseungiez]

nothing i don’t have | pjs

part 3: toenze

pairings! park jongseong x reader, ft. huening kai x reader

summary! it was supposed to be simple, you and jay would fuck whenever either of you felt horny — no feelings. but it was hard not to catch feelings where park jongseong was involved. so you took the easy way out: you ended it.

genre! texts, written fic, college au, love triangle (corner)

word count! 1.5k

content warnings! swearing

author's note! i'm sick and not doing ok but jay and toenze always is on the brain </3

previous | masterlist | next

The last thing you expected to see today was Jay with an electric guitar. But here you were, standing in the Sanctuary Café in front of their live music stage, where Kai’s band was setting up. And he was a part of the band.

You had stumbled inside the coffee shop late, and the guys were already half-way through setting up. Not a single thing had been out of the ordinary when you came in. It was your boyfriend and his three other band members, each getting ready for practice. You greeted them with a smile and side-hug each, and it seemed like it would go the same way any other practice had gone before. 

But then someone new entered the shop. Dressed in a grey hoodie and flannel, your eyes widened at the sight of Jay. He held a guitar case in his right hand, and you thought, okay, maybe this is just a stupid coincidence, but then he noticed you, and he started walking toward you. So you thought maybe it was because of you.

And then Taerae spoke up, “Jay, hey! I’m so glad you could make it.”

You glanced at Kai, whose expression was just as puzzled as yours. He had no idea as well.

“Yeah. Thanks for inviting me.” Jay’s lopsided grin made your heart skip a beat, and you had to take a step back when he was close to the stage. “You guys were looking for a second guitarist?”

“We were?” Kai asked, giving Taerae a pointed look. The boy shrugged with a smile, unaware of the happenings between Kai, Jay and you.

“Yeah, I met Jay at a guitar shop, and heard him play. He’s actually really good, so I thought I’d ask him to come by. Honestly, I’d like to focus on vocals sometimes, so a second guitarist would be useful.” Taerae shrugged, giving his painfully sensible reasoning that nobody could refute without sounding like a petulant child. 

“I mean, I have nothing against it if he’s as good as Taerae says he is,” said Beomgyu, eyeing Jay. “But the girls are mine,” he joked, although his glare felt a bit too realistic.

“Yeah, I don’t mind either. We could use another visual, too,” Yujin reasoned. 

“Kai? It’s already three to four.” Taerae looked at the drummer, and he sighed in response. 

“Can we actually hear Jay play before we make any concrete decisions? Because right now, it’s all just opinions.”

Yes, that made sense to do. You nodded despite having nothing to do with the band and its decisions. But you knew that Jay truly was a genius when it came to playing the guitar. You’ve heard him play more times than you could count, and occasionally, those performances were specifically for you over video call or in person. You always loved listening to Jay’s playing and singing. 

When Kai glanced at you, he understood as much from your expression, and a small frown decorated his lips. He shouldn’t be jealous, he was the one dating you, yet the knowledge of everything that transpired between you and Jay, and your feelings for him made him scared for what could happen if Jay got his head out of the gutter and realised that maybe, he was also in love with you. 

“Okay. I can play a song I’ve been working on with Heeseung,” Jay said, getting his guitar out — it was Jane. With Taerae’s help, the two quickly set it up and connected it to the speakers.

When Jay started playing, you immediately recognised the song. It wasn’t finished as far as you were aware, but Jay and Heeseung had been working on it for quite a while. The song, Paranormal, meant a lot to Heeseung especially, so he wanted to make sure every single detail about it was perfect.

To you, it sounded amazing already, but considering Heeseung’s perfectionism, he probably always thought of something that wasn’t quite right yet. 

When Jay was done, everyone around him started clapping. Including you. There was no denying his talents, and Taerae was especially proud of being the person who brought him here.

“So, you write your own songs too?” he asked. 

“I’m still struggling with writing decent lyrics, but other than that, yeah.” Jay nodded, glancing at you. There were times you helped him write a few lines here and there, so you averted your gaze, biting the inside of your cheek. 

To be completely honest, what you and Jay had, to you, did not feel or seem casual in the slightest. Even Kai thought you two were actually dating at first. But that was the kind of person Jay was. Sweet, caring and affectionate without thinking much into it — he didn’t do it on purpose, it was just what he was used to. Small acts of kindness or even bigger ones, to him, were something he did because it was the normal thing to do. So what he perceived as casual was seen as so much more to anyone looking from the outside. Or to the one on the receiving end of it all. But you understood Jay better than anyone, unfortunately. So you couldn’t even delude yourself into thinking that confessing would lead to something. 

Letting go was the much better option. 

You were grateful for Kai. For being your anchor and for giving you the strength you needed to tear yourself away from Jay. 

“Then it’s decided, right?” Taerae looked at his band members, a proud smile gracing his lips. 

Beomgyu and Yujin agreed with eager nods, but Kai sighed. Glancing at you, he noticed you were already watching him, your smile supportive of whichever decision he made. 

And, to nudge him along, you said: “He is really good.”

“Ugh, fine,” Kai mumbled. “Would be a waste not to let him join if that’s what he wants.” Shaking his head, Kai’s attention was more on you than Jay.

“Welcome to the band!” Beomgyu exclaimed, instantly going in for a handshake with Jay. “I look forward to working with you.” The bassist faked a serious tone. “But seriously, though, the girls are mine.”

“Literally no girls want your loser ass,” said Yujin, rolling his eyes.

“You little—” Beomgyu put down his bass just to chase after Yujin who started giggling, running around the café in an attempt to escape.

Taerae and Kai laughed, shaking their heads. You, on the other hand, bit your lip and headed toward Jay while steeling yourself from whatever the conversation might lead to. 

“So, you want to join Kai’s band all of a sudden?” You raised your brow, and Jay looked almost puzzled that you spoke to him. Though he recovered quickly, nodding.

“Yeah, sure. Why not, you know? Taerae asked, and I didn’t feel like saying no.”

You hummed, a little in disbelief over the whole situation. You doubted Jay didn’t have any ulterior motives for joining the band, but you didn’t feel like bringing it up now since the likelihood of Jay actually telling you was little to none.

“It’ll definitely make it easier to find someone else then, since girls do love guitarists,” you commented with a light chuckle.

Jay smacked his lips together, shrugging. “I don’t think I’m really looking for any casual hookups anymore,” he said, which took you by surprise this time. “I’ve been wasting too much of my time not committing to anything. So it’s time for a bit of a change.”

“For joining a band?”

“For committing myself to something I love,” said Jay, a smile gracing his lips as he stared at you. There was a spark in his eye as if he could sense the way your heart skipped a beat, but then he chuckled. “I want to focus more on music, and Taerae’s offer was kinda perfectly timed.”

“Right, of course. That makes a lot of sense,” you agreed, nodding dumbly along.

“Why? Did you think I did this because of you?” Jay’s tone was teasing. He tilted his head and raised a brow at you, the corner of his mouth lifting into the signature lopsided grin of his that revealed his dimple. 

Your brain stuttered as you stared at him, blinking excessively. “No. No— obviously, not. Why would I think that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you know that I missed you? You said we’d be friends but then you’ve barely spoken to me,” Jay explained himself, pursing his lips. “So, you could be thinking that.”

“I was not thinking that.” You furrowed your brows. “But you should’ve told me. I thought that since you’ve barely texted me that you don’t want to hang out as much anymore.”

“That’s not it, I just— I don’t know…”

“You can always talk to me about anything, Jay. That’s what friends are for,” you said, smiling thinly. “I’m glad you finally decided to pursue music, though.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jay said. 

“Okay, guys, stop messing around. Let’s begin practice!” Taerae exclaimed, clapping his hands. “Jay, can you follow my lead?”

tags: @moonpri @addictedtohobi @samsayssam @sillydallyz @semisemirin1i82

[itsrlymine]

Heyy could I be 🦀 anon please?? I really appreciate your account and how you don’t sugarcoat things, it’s so motivating. I’d like to share some successes I achieved recently, there’s plenty but I chose the best ones

I got rid of my social anxiety, overthinking and fear of presentations completely. I used to panic when I had to present in school, but I’m so chill rn and it always goes well (as in, I get extremely praised by everyone bc of how good my presentations are). I also don’t get anxious over social interactions and I’m much more outgoing + not afraid to speak up. I never went to therapy or anything, just used a subliminal and some affirmations and boom I had it.

Wanted to look and seem more angelic and I kid you not I got stopped by a random older lady on the street. She just kept talking about how amazing and angelic I am, should never change and how she’s so surprised to have seen someone like me. This may seem unbelievable but damn it is very much real 😭 I also got called “blessed by the gods” by a classmate of mine

I decided I’m the main character and that my life is much more interesting: the amount of good and mc-like things that happened ever since is insane. Plenty of cute cafe spots opened up near me and I’m getting invited out by this girl I’ve always wanted to befriend, she’s also so kind to me. The chocolatier lady near me keeps being so nice and she told me I’m her fav customer, we often talk a lot once I come over + I’m getting free chocolates and try new ones before they even release 🤭💞 i picked up new hobbies and I’m amazing at them, especially badminton and jewelry making. I get along with basically everyone and I keep having lovely interactions with them.

And much much more but I’m not sure how you feel about longer asks so I’m cutting this one short. Overall I’m very grateful for you and your account, I’m looking forward to your posts 🩷

Hello 🦀! I appreciate your appreciation!!! Thank you for sharing your successes, these are so sweet!! Everybody is you pushed out fr! There is no denying! I don't mind longer asks babe bc they are for me and everyone one on this blog. I will make sure I have many more amazing posts for you to look forward to. I'm gonna need more of those success stories when you get the chance... love you babes!!!

[blackenedsnow]

Hi I'm back with another Movie!juice request! This time it kinda ties back to the friends with benefits one; this time with an alternate way of Beetlejuice confessing!

So one day Beetlejuice gets drunk and the reader stays sober to watch over him so he doesn't cause too much chaos. He gets touchy, no surprise there, but then...his touches get more tender and he starts absentmindedly rambling on about how much he loves the reader and how he wants to marry them someday, not because of the freedom it'll give him but just being their husband in general...

Then he passes out

The next morning he doesn't remember what he confessed and the reader, hiding how giddy they are, is like "so, BJ, got something you wanna tell me~?" And he ends up confessing to them that everything he said last night was true :3

drunken truths

WARNING: Alcohol use

PAIRING: Beetlejuice x Reader

NOTE: Hihi! Please keep sending your creative energy my way; it always brightens my day. Sending you lots of love and ghostly vibes! <3

SUMMARY: A drunken Beetlejuice lets slip just how deeply he cares about you, leaving you giddy and mischievous the next morning as you nudge him toward confessing his feelings for real.

It started with a bad idea, like most things involving Beetlejuice. He’d stumbled into your space that night with a bottle of some spectral concoction, claiming he was “celebrating.” What? He never clarified. Maybe it was the moon being full, maybe it was a successful day. Who knew? Either way, by the second drink, his tongue was already looser than usual.

And because you knew him—and liked him, despite yourself—you stayed sober. Someone had to keep him from blowing up the furniture or trying to serenade the neighborhood cats again.

“Y’know somethin’?” Beetlejuice slurred, draping himself over your shoulder with the subtlety of a hurricane. His usual grabby hands were there, but the way his fingers grazed your arm felt…different. Gentle, almost reverent.

“What’s that, Beej?” you asked, half-amused, half-bracing for whatever nonsense was about to come out of his mouth.

“You’re perfect. Like—chef’s kiss—perfect.” He made the gesture, loudly smacking his lips. “Don’t know why you hang out with a guy like me, though.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the softness in his voice. This wasn’t the usual Beetlejuice bravado. He sounded…earnest.

“Maybe I just like you,” you teased, testing the waters.

His laugh was low and warm, and it made your chest tighten in a way you didn’t want to examine too closely.

“Yeah, well, you’re too good for me. But that don’t matter, ’cause one day, I’m gonna make you mine. Like, for real. Not ’cause of the whole marriage loophole thing—though that’s a helluva bonus, heh—but ’cause you’re…I dunno…you’re it for me.”

You froze. Beetlejuice, the king of chaos and crude jokes, just…said that?

“And, oh!” He sat up abruptly, gesturing wildly. “We’ll have one of those nice-ass weddings, right? With the cake, and the dancing, and…yeah, I’ll be the best damn husband ever. Better’n any of those losers out there. You’ll see.”

Before you could even process what was happening, Beetlejuice flopped over, snoring loudly against your shoulder.

“BJ?” you whispered, but he was out cold.

The next morning, he was surprisingly subdued—hungover but still Beetlejuice. He shuffled into the kitchen, scratching his messy hair and grumbling about how “some jerk left the lights on too bright.”

You smirked over your coffee, barely able to contain your excitement. “Morning, BJ. Sleep well?”

He squinted at you suspiciously. “Why’re you so chipper? You’re usually grumpy in the morning.”

“Oh, no reason.” You leaned forward, resting your chin in your hand. “So…got something you wanna tell me?”

Beetlejuice froze, his greenish skin turning an even paler shade. “Uh…like what?”

“Like, I dunno…what you were rambling about last night? Something about marriage?”

His eyes went wide, then narrowed as he tried to piece things together. Finally, he groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. “Oh, great. I blew it, didn’t I?”

You tilted your head innocently. “Blew what?”

He slumped into the chair across from you, looking more vulnerable than you’d ever seen him. “The whole…thing. You know. The you thing. Dammit, I didn’t wanna say it like that. But, yeah. Whatever I said last night? It’s true. All of it. And I get it if you think I’m nuts or if you don’t—”

You reached across the table, grabbing his hand before he could spiral. “Beetlejuice.”

“What?”

“I think you’re nuts. But I also think you’re kind of sweet. And maybe, just maybe, I like the idea of you being my husband someday.”

For once in his afterlife, Beetlejuice was speechless.

[lanaroff]

Unwanted- Part 3

Paring: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Y/N is an enhanced SHIELD agent who is forced to work with the Avengers. What happens when they discover that she’s not alone?

A/N: Sooo I´m back. After a year I came back with the next parto. Sorry for taking so so long. Hope you like it!!!

The flight back home was one big awkward silence, where no single team member dare to asked what had happened. Not only the mission had failed, but also two members of the team were missing, if not dead. Being that the last thing that they saw was you and Wanda standing on a rooftop that seconds later became ashes.

"Can someone explain me what the fuck just happened?" Tony finally broke the silence. But no one said anything, no one had a complete answer to explain the events that ended with the missing girls. "Rogers?"

"Um... After Sam gave us Rumblow's location Y/N went after him. And I order Wanda to follow her to the rooftop as backup. If it is anyone's fault is mine. It should have been me out there." Steve answered in a apologetic way.

"What was she doing there on the first place?" Tony asked again. But this time Steve didn't answer as he didn't know.

The room once again fell into silence. Tony was angry with the outcome of the mission.  As he should be, at the end it was his reputation on the line.

"Tony, Y/N is a really competent agent. I'm sure they are fine, all we can do is wait. Going back there is only going to make things worse." Natasha said trying to defend her friend. She was well aware of Y/N's reputation of being reckless regarding Hydra.

"12 hours. I'm giving them 12 hours and after that we are going after them." Tony said ending the conversation and leaving the room.

The truth was that Natasha wasn't fully sure if her friends were alive. She knew that both Wanda and Y/N we're powerful agents, but she also knew that Y/N had a tendency to act impulsively. So all she could do was hope that the girls were somewhere safe waiting to return home.

And they were. 4 hours had went by since the duo had settled into an abandoned house. Wanda was next to the fireplace, which Y/N turned on for her so she wouldn't be cold, and the girl would close her eyes resting next to the heat of the fire. Y/N, on the other hand, was sitting next to a window across the room. Wishing that if she stared long enough at the rain it would stop.

"You are going to catch a cold. You can sit with me if you want." Wanda suggested trying to lighten the mood.

"No, I'm good here." She replied quickly. However, she immediately felt guilty for her harsh behavior as Wanda was only trying to be nice."Um Venom... it doesn't like fire" Y/N continued.

While looking from across the room, Wanda couldn't stop thinking about Y/N. How she seemed so strong but yet so broken. She knew that Y/N wasn't a person that would open to others easily. Let alone talk to a stranger about herself. But she thought that it was worth the shot since none of them had nothing better to do.

"Can I ask you a question Y/N?" She continued.

"Sure. I won't guarantee you an answer tho." Y/N replied. She could have perfectly said no. But deep down she was curious as for what Wanda wanted to know.

"Why do you want to kill Rumblow so bad? What did he do to you?" Wanda asked the girl.

"He's a traitor." She replied slowly letting herself think about her feelings. "Um... I met him when I first got to SHIELD. I guess that over the years I started to trust him. Turns out he was lying the hole time."

"Is that why you find so difficult to trust people?" Wanda asked again.

"I trust people. Just not you guys."

"Right... Do you trust Nat?" The witch asked again making Y/N nervous.

"Ye-No... Just forget about it. I don't even know why I'm talking to you about it." The truth was that that Y/N didn't knew If she trusted the spy. Sure, they were friends, weren't they? But she couldn't let Wanda know that. She wasn't going to talk about feeling with a stranger.

Y/N started to grew impatient with Wanda's questions. So she did the thing that she did best. Pretend that nothing had happened. She stood up and stared to walk towards the injured girl. She placed her left hand on Wanda's lap, and with the other one she stared to unwrap the wound to check it.

"It hurts a little less, but I don't think I can walk." Wanda said as she saw Y/N eyes staring at the open leg. 

Wanda studied every interaction that the girl made. To her, Y/N was a face with a question mark on it, she couldn't quite understand her actions nor her decisions. Every time she looked at Y/N she was able to see the girl's internal fight. Between having to be strong, and being fragile, and to the girl's fortune her eyes didn't lied.

"You are staring. Stop it, It's creepy." Y/N told Wanda feeling her eyes placed on her as she looked at the wound.

"Can I see it?" She asked. However, all she got on return was a confused look on Y/N face. "Venom- Can I see Venom?"

Y/N locked her eyes on Wanda's. And for a few seconds that was all they did. Y/N wanted to know the girl's intention, she couldn't understand why the redhead would want to do such thing. While Wanda just sat there waiting for an answer.

However, all the answered that she got from Y/N was a sight. The girl moved a few steps away from Wanda and closed her eyes.

"If you hurt her I swear to god that I will kill you." She said before letting the creature out. Venom's head emerged from behind the girl's body leaving a thin thread of materia connecting the both of them.

Wanda stood there patiently waiting for the girl. She was a little bit scared and anxious, but mostly curious to meet the creature. Her eyes features every detail of Venom. Sure, she had met the alien before, but this time Wanda didn't see it as a threat.

"I'm Wanda Maximoff, nice to finally meet you." She said. Y/N's eyes traveled from Venom to Wanda. She found hard to believe that someone would see the alien inside of her as something worth meeting. But she couldn't denied that Wanda's small action made her feel as she wasn't the monster that she thought she was. Maybe she was worth caring. Maybe there was someone who was willing to love her despite having Venom. But her thoughts were cut off by the creature's voice.

"Wanda... We are Venom" It replied. Venom was curious. Why the woman in front of it wasn't terrified? Why wasn't she running already? So it moved with precaution around the girl.

"Hi Venom, May I touch you?" She asked again. This time Y/N was not entirely sure if it was a good idea. No one before had dare to talk to the creature let alone touch it.

"I don't know Wanda. I don't think that Venom would lik..." And her words were cut off again, by the events happening right in front of her. With one hand touching Venom, Wanda let a small grin came out of her.

Suddenly, the alien's and Wanda's interaction were interrupted by the sound of a car getting closer. Y/N quickly made her way to the closet window and, as she feared, they had been found by Hydra.

"We need to leave now." She whispered. Wanda immediately tried to get up, but due to her wounds, she tripped. "Yeah, it's clear that you can't walk"

"Just leave me here. I can protect myself. You leave" Wanda said.

"Do you really think that I'm going to leave you here?" She rhetorically asked de redhead. In a matter of seconds Y/N had carried Wanda outside of the abandoned house. And with her still in her arms, she begin to walk through the woods.

"Do you at least know were you going?" Wanda complained.

"No." Y/N harshly replied.

Both girls made their way to a small town. However, before entering the area, gently, Y/N placed Wanda next to a tree. She checked the girl's leg, and without saying anything she begin to walk towards the town.

"Where are you going?" Wanda asked. She knew that Y/N would not leave without her. However, she didn't want to be left alone.

"I'm going to get a car." She replied. Y/N could see Wanda's worrying in eyes. "I will come back. I promise."

And without further ado, she made her way to the nearest gas station. Right before setting foot inside the market, she gazed a small car parked right next to the building. Y/N walked to the nearest fridge and picked a bottle of water. She placed it on the counter, and waited for the man to tell her it's price.

"Would be 85 cents, anything else?" The man asked.

"Yeah, do you happen to know were the closest route to go to NY is?" She replied. She immediately realized that the employee was starring at her shirt covered in Wanda's blood. "Uhm... My wife and I, we were hiking and she tripped. I would love to take her to the hospital."

"Oh right... Uhm, take the rout that goes south. Please take the bottle, it's on me." He said. The truth was that Y/N had no money to pay the guy. So, with a small grin she left the place. Ones outside, she broke the car's window and ripped some wires to turn on the engine.

"Who's car is that?" Wanda asked as she saw Y/N pulling down next to her.

"Does it matter?" She said and carried Wanda to the car. "Here, I got you a bottle of water in case you were thirsty."

"Thanks." She replied with a smile.

Hours had passed since they had abandoned the town. Once Y/N pulled the car down next to the compound she made her way to Wanda's door, who was fast asleep. For a moment all that the girl did was look at the redhead sleep. The one thing that she feared was happening, and she couldn't stop it. She had begin to like Wanda's company.

Without waking her up she carried Wanda inside the compound. However, Tony's shouting did interrupted Wanda's sleeping "Where were you two? Do you have any idea how worried we were Y/N?

"No, and I don't care. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to take Wanda to the medby." She said and walked her way to the room, where she placed Wanda on a stretcher.

The rest of the team followed the pair in search for answers. Non of them knew why Wanda was injured. Or why Y/N had abandoned her position previously on the mission.

"Let me check on that" Bruce said as he walked next to Wanda.

"So you are not going to say anything?" Tony asked again stopping Y/N from leaving the room.

"What is left to say? The mission failed, and Wanda is alive." She said with a cocky grin.

"Why were you after Rumblow on the first place? That was not the mission." He asked again.

"No Stark, that was not you mission. It surely was mine." She said making Tony anger grew inside of him.

"You are going to get someone kill, or worse, yourself."

"Do you really think that I care If one of you die? Or If I die? I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of this." And with her last statement Y/N left the room.

The rest of the team shared looks, Tony was angry, while Wanda was worried. Y/N last words were on loop on Wanda's head. Why didn't she care for her life? What was the thing she didn't ask for? Wanda was determined to find out why the agent was so cold and distant.

[almayver]

GMM2025 Lineup Game / Tier List

Rules: write your thoughts on all the GMMTV series pilots released (or just the ones you plan to watch) and tag people whose thoughts you wanna know about!

@jojotichakorn @wangxianinventedromance and @valentinaonthemoon tagged me in basically different variations of this, so I'm gonna smush them all together. Thanks for tagging me 😊 I love to be given the chance to ramble.

Prefacing this with a reminder that I am the personification of CinemaWins so I find things to like in everything, and that I was born to yap, so this will be long :)

I'm going to do it in the order of the trailers and put the tier list at the bottom. I'm adding a twist to mine and tracking the most important thing to me, Will I cry? (mostly just so I can look back and see if my guess was correct)

Dare you to death: I LOVE a good murder mystery. Yes. Give it to me. Snarky partners solving a crime was THE dynamic i was raised on and I still love it. It's going to be so entertaining trying to pick up clues and stuff while seeing these two bicker and fall in love. Don't think ill cry on this one, but serial killers, brothers, possibility of whump? There's a chance.

Head 2 Head: FUCK YES. Starting with the fact that I adore SeaKeen with all my heart, this one has me so invested!! Their bickering-flirting? ON POINT. When Sea says the line of “I've been saving my lips for you for ages” while flipping him off?? Yeah, that's my shit. But add to that the whole magic plot of seeing that they are in love and together years in the future, but then he dies!!! In his arms!!!! Yes. Yes. Just yes. “I will do anything to prevent that from happening…except not loving you”?? Yep. They made this show for me specifically, the rest of you can stay only if you are nice. The side couple also has me 👀. Basically, I loved every single second of it, and I'm ready for it. Oh, I will absolutely cry. No doubts about this one. These boys had me weeping with their soft rom-com, adding looming visions of death to it? yes, I'm ready to cry.

Burnout Syndrome: I'm intrigued by this one! Looks very messy and full of complex feelings all around, with some very very interesting characters. I don't actually have more to say about it except !!!, and it's on the watch list for sure! Hmm from what I get, I'm thinking is going to be more in the stressful, thoughtful side than in the emotional one for me, so maybe teary eyes but not full-blown crying.

I Love “A Lot Of” You: I've only seen one thing in which this topic didn't feel wildly offensive, so. Hmm. Even without that whole can of worms, I'm not fully interested in it? It seems cute and fun I guess, and the title is very sweet but eeeh. Not in the watch list for now, unless it gets some strong endorsements once it starts airing.

Whale Store xoxo: Oh this looks lovely! So so so warm and sweet. Having a character in just full-blown crisis and feeling lost, is always the best way to get into my heart. Add to that a sweet girl, full of joy, trying to help?! And the You've got mail vibes with the whole small business being threatened by the family of the love interest, plus feeling a duty to the store because of a parent without knowing if its what you truly want? Say less babe, I'm there, I'm seated. The side couple story also has me really intrigued. Oh yeah, tears will be very much present. Not full on wailing, but rom coms do make me cry, I see some tears due to both the angst and the character finding herself.

Only Friends-Dream On: Making the entire first half of the trailer one shot that manages to explain all the dynamics is enough for me to put it in the watch list no questions asked. I haven't watched Only Friends and from the bits I know and have seen I know I wouldn't enjoy it purely for weird personal reasons. This however? Oh yeah bestie sign me up, ill have popcorn ready, let the messiness begin. Also, the cast is insane and as someone who was absolutely taken by Ohm and Leng week after week, I'm so excited. Hmm, I'm going for yes. At least one of these assholes is going to be broken in a way that speaks to me and I will cry about it, I see it in my future. (Side note, please tell me I'm not the only one that laughed at the characters being called Jack and Dean)

That Summer: I CHEERED. Troublemaker sent to the beach to find some discipline finds a kind, amnesiac prince is something that i didn't know I needed so hard but fuck i do. It's going to be so fucking charming, and it has this very quiet emotional vibe to it that I'm going to eat up weekly, yes sir. I have no thoughts except loud cheering, I'm just excited for it. I was going to say I hope it comes in summer like that means anything to me. pft. Umm, yeah probs some tears, nothing too big, but I can see some emotional moments hitting hard specially considering the two people acting here. *side eyes that We Are scene that I still can't fucking rewatch because it did enough damage once*

My Romance Scammer: Marriage scam!!!!! I could cry of joy. This is the kind of shit I love sorry. It's so messy and at its core very silly, and I'm just going to have such a good time watching. It's going to be fun! I also feel like some of the backstories of these characters are going to be interesting and emotional, I'm excited for that. I was going to say I won't cry, but I always cry with fictional weddings and I'm guessing some sort of “real” wedding is going to happen at the end that will break me, so maybe.

Melody of Secrets: I'm fucking thrilled. As a horror fan, I don't know what I did to get this gift but ill fucking take it, thank you. This was SO WEIRD!!! Isn't that great!! What the fuck was happening? Is it ghosts, is it magic, is it a curse, is it trauma? I don't know, and the character doesn't know either, and ooof the journey we will go in while trying to figure it out! My only request for this show is that I want to say “What the fuck??” every episode. That's all. Whether I cry or not depends on where they are going with it so, no clue. Possibly.

Love you teacher: I had such a strong negative reaction to this, that it kind of went back around, and now it's in my watch list? It was a journey. So, fun fact about me, one of the fanfiction tropes that I adore the most and I will eat up every single time it pops up even though it's not that common is amnesia in an established couple (I'm sure no one was kind of scared I was going to say something else). I just love the idea of a couple having to kind of fall in love again, with the angst of one of them not knowing anything while the other has all the memories and feelings. It's specially interesting if the person with amnesia has a very different life in the present to what they expected/think they should have, or in a enemies to lovers dynamic? it fucks. So I was really really excited. And then he was 7 years old, and I got so shocked I stopped processing the trailer. But now I'm intrigued. I want to see if this show is going to surprise me, I'm going to be there seated for the first couple of episodes at least because there is something there that just, its intriguing. I think there is a chance this one will be special. I mean if I hate it I can just stop watching right? No big deal. The other thing is that Dome gave me a show so fucking special to me that I have to give the dude a chance. He already surprised me. I trust him enough to know that this will be fun at the very least. And also, if I do stick with it, tears 1000% guaranteed. The emotional beats of this will hit, absolutely, and motherfucker over there knows how to hit you with emotions with the simplest stuff.

MU-TE-LUV: Yeah so I'm probs only watching the SeaKeen and OhmLeng parts. Those are actually so compelling to me and I love watching them act, so I will be having fun with those stories. The rest fully depends on my mood and what other people are saying when it airs. Also, the Dew one that is just Amarres: la serie, kind of seems interesting. I kind of doubt this one will pull my heartstrings much but hey I'm willing to be surprised!

Cat for Cash: I have my blanket and my warm drink ready, I will be seating there just cooing at everything and feeling all the emotions. This is going to be a chill watch, it's going to be fun, and I love it for it. The familial shit is going to break me and sell me for parts, so that's going to be fun. And yes, absolutely going to cry, no-brainer.

Girl Rules: We all cheered. So what is going to happen is that I'm going to liveblog this, absolutely, and all the liveblogs are just going to be me being in love with Namtan, and I need everyone to be cool with that. In all seriousness, leaving behind my gigantic crush on her, this is going to be so gooood. Messy!!!! Hot!! FUN!!!!! The dynamics between all the characters are already delicious, and i can't wait for this one, it's going to be great. Grabbing pop corn and something to fan myself with. The NamtanFilm relationship has some real potential to pull some tears from me.

Boys in love: I love fluffy shit, sue me. We are going to sit here, and giggle and kick our feet and have a good ass time while doing it. The Chokun and Aston relationship drew me in so hard, I'm going to live there, but everything was just so sweet and delightful!! Its a fun time. Honestly, yeah, I can see a couple of tears. Not sad tears but more like, overwhelmed with softness kind of tears.

My Magic Prophecy: Once again, angsty visions of the future are always compelling to me, so I'm here for this. It's kind of in the same level as Burnout where I'm not shaking chihuahua levels of excitement but I'm interested! The relationship seems fun and touching, the science vs. magic thing could be interesting. If I get invested enough, yeah crying for sure.

A Dog and A Plane: I'm sure no one who has spent more than a minute in my blog knows this, but i fucking love these two so much. Shocker, I know. But seriously, they have something that makes me 20000% invested whenever they are together on screen and i didnt want to hope for a new show but i was secretly wishing for it and the universe decided to throw me a bone the size of Jupiter. And to add to it, they are bickering, they are horny, New is a fancy flight attendant and Tay Tawan is a paramedic with tattoos that wears a lot of tank tops. They both think the other one is better than them in some way. The plot is just the kind of rom com i eat up. And I know, I KNOW, I'm going to cry. I cry every time these two are involved. They will have one vulnerable moment and i will be in the corner cheeering with tears in my eyes. They will have the conflcit and the same thing will happen. They will have the happy ending and i will be weeping. I'm so fucking happy. Just one thing. I need them to fuck in that plane. I dont care where, I dont care how, but it has to happen. I have that small wish. Oh and MarcPoon!!!! Their bits seem so so good too.

Me and Thee: I made the joke that I read this Phumpeem au before, because actually yeah kind of, but also because these are the exact same vibes that drew me to Phum. The characters are super different and so cool, but oh lonely rich boy!!!!!!! I'm gonna have a new one for my list. And this one is so weird! and a dork! and loves soap operas so he is speaking my language. I love him already. The plot is also just for me. Teach me how to hit on someone?? And he uses it all on him!! yes yesssss. I cant wait to see more of them. I cant wait to see them each fall in love in such different ways and the conflict has the opportunity to be so so so my thing. In terms of crying, he is a sad lonely boy, i dont have to say more. I'm ready to imprint on him and feel very emotional.

WU: This was less of a plot and more of a "here, we heard you, they'll keep working together, dont kill us". I haven watched their show yet because of a silly reson, but i had been planning on binging it before the last episode next week, so im excited!! The brief glimpse we got compels me, i love me some red string of fate.

Memoir of Rati: I said I could watch them read the dictionary (and i fucking meant it) and instead they give me an intense period show??? I could cry. Look, one could say Great Sapol single handedly got me back into live bloging, i have a debt with the guy, add to that the fact that him and Inn became two of my favorite actors ever in just a couple of episodes? Yeah I'm here for this. They have an insane chemistry that is such a joy to watch, and i dont mind period shows, they arent my favorite but I find them charming if done right and they often teach me new things. These two are about to eat the shit out of these roles and i will be clapping while suffering. Also the AouBoom story is so interesting too!!! No notes. I'm going to cry like a baby multiple times. I still cry with their fake break up. This is going to kill me. Can't wait.

Ticket To Heaven: First let me list some fun facts about me. I was raised catholic in a very catholic family in one of the most catholic countries in the world. I still live in a house where my room is the only one that doesnt have some form of religious imagery. Bare a pop opera and Jesus christ superstar are two of my favorite musicals of all time. I ran away from religion before my confirmation but after my first communion, and every time i think about it i discover some new complicated feeling about it and a fun trauma it left behind. I am right now wearing a Look Khunnoo shirt.

They made this show for me and its going to break me. I'm already making playlists for it. I keep listening to Heaven while staring at the wall. This is just, gods, this is everything to me. The vibes of it are just so so so delicious. The aesthetic? The quotes? I am so going to relate more with Gemini's character, and thats going to be a fun painful little trip. And of course. These boys. I adore them. I'm ready to be killed by them acting the shit out of every single frame. I am going to cry in ways that will be dangerous to my health. I can't wait. There is no way that the ending isn't going to fuck me up, whether is super tragic, a time skip, a hopeful ending. Its going to be a Thing. Fucking Rosa de Guadalupe got me with its gay episode. and its. La rosa de guadalupe. This? Will murder me. I will listen to the ost and cry instantly like i do with Bare.

Basically im excited :)

And the tier list!!

I kind of did it in the scale of how much is it going to make me feel like a dog waiting for its owner, sadly pawing at the door, wanting to be let in.

I think everyone I would tag on this has already done it or has already been tagged so if you see this and you have thoughts that you want to share, you are tagged. This is legally binding. I want to hear your thoughts

If you read all that you can reclaim a cookie before leaving

[rekino2114]

I think you might like this since it's Chainsaw Man's best stoic girl Fami~, where Asa and Yoru first meet Fami's boyfriend. They think he's just some random bystander or classmate who overheard their conversation, which could mean trouble when all of a sudden Fami kisses him and introduces him.

Asa and yoru meeting fami's boyfriend

"Do you always eat alone?"

"Yes"

"Every day i discover you're even more pathetic than i thought, how is that even possible?"

"Shut up"

"No it's so boring here"

"I don't care, just shut up, we're in public. What are people gonna think if they see me talk to myself?"

"To be honest, you definitely seem like the type to talk to yourself"

"............"

"Just chill out even if someone overhears us. I'll take care of them, I haven't gotten a new weapon in a while now that I think about it"

"You are not killing anyone of my classmates"

Just as yoru was about to answer asa saw a boy getting closer to her

"Oh hey, you're asa mitaka, right? My girlfriend said I had to meet with you"

"Uh yeah, but are you sure she's talking about me? I'm not.......really friends with anyone"

"Oh no, yeah, it is you. Well, I guess it's yoru, but you know-"

"WHAT?!"

"H-he knows about me?"

"Do you-do you know him?"

"Of course not, how the hell would I? Just let me out so I can kill him"

"N-no we're in-"

"Sorry if I'm late"

You and asa both turned to see fami sitting at the table with a giant plate of food in front of her

"F-fami? What is she-"

"Oh hi babe"

You got closer to her lips as she kissed you. It lasted only for a few seconds, but like all of fami's kisses, it was wonderful.

"YOU'RE DATING!?"

"W-what's happening?"

"asa, can you let war out, I want to have this conversation with her"

"Yes, thank you, I really don't wanna see how this goes. Just stop her if she tries to kill someone"

Fami nodded as Asa fell unconscious. After a bit scars appeared on her face, and when she opened her eyes, they were yellow and ringed, just like fami, yoru immediately started glaring at you and your girlfriend who was just eating looking as unbothered as ever

"OK what's this about? Why the hell did you tell a human about me?"

"He's my boyfriend"

"So?"

"I've heard it's polite to introduce your lover to your family, y/n has already done it, so now it's my turn. He already met control and she liked him so I wanted him to meet you too"

"Pfft as if I care about your stupid boyfriend, you seriously revealed my identity to a random guy just cause you liked him?"

Hearing those words fami stopped eating and looked at yoru, her cold eyes making the war devil feel a bit uneasy

"Apologize"

"H-hm?"

"Apologize to y/n for what you said"

"O-oh no fami it's fine"

"Don't worry, as the older sister, it's my duty to discipline her, now apologize"

"F-fine ok geez, I'm sorry"

"Good"

You smiled and mentally thanked fami. To try and start again, you held your hand out to her sister

"Thanks it's nice to meet you by the-"

"I suggest you don't shake my hand, unless you wanna be turned into a weapon that is, not that I would mind"

Just as she finished that sentence yoru felt those cold eyes stare at her again, making her sweat a bit. She shook your hand reluctantly

"Hey y/n, do you mind grabbing me another plate of pasta? I finished mine, grab something else for yourself if you want"

"Sure"

Fami thanked you and kissed your cheek as you went away from the table. yoru sighed, thankful that she didn't have to fake being nice anymore

"I still can't believe you-"

"Hey war, listen to me"

The youngest horseman suddenly tensed even more at her sister's tone. She always sounded emotionless and cold, but this time, there was something more to her voice, something that made yoru feel inexplicably nervous

"I already told you I'd do anything for you, but there's an exception"

Fami gulped down the last of her food and looked at her even more coldly

"If you hurt y/n in any way, I will kill you"

Both yoru and even asa from inside her body were so shocked by her sentence that they started sweating simultaneously

"The love I feel for him is much greater than any sisterly bond I may have with you, I love y/n more than anything, even more than food, and I don't tolerate anything happening to him, the fact that you're my sister doesn't change anything. Do you understand?"

"W-what the why are you-"

"Do you understand, war?"

Fami was now practically killing yoru with her glare, even asa felt herself tensing up as she continued staring at them with an unblinking cold stare

".........y-yes"

"Good, as long as you understand that we shouldn't have any problems"

".........w-were you scared by your sister?"

"S-shut up its not like that"

As yoru and asa continued arguing with themselves, you came back to the table with the plates, fami kissed you again as thanks, and you continued chatting

"Sorry yoru, maybe we started on the wrong foot. I don't care if you're possessing asa and I won't tell anyone, I am dating a devil after all, I just hope we can get along"

"I'm sure you will.......right war?"

".....y-yeah"

Meanwhile asa is giggling inside her head because it's funny seeing yoru scared for a change

[cillians-sweetheart]

𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓬𝓾𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 ☣︎ Chapter 1

Description: Johnathan Crane x Patient Reader. An 18 year old girl suffers from a mental disorder that Dr Crane takes an interest in, but It isn't just the disorder that catches his eye. Their love becomes so strong it drives her dangerously mad... more mad then she or him could ever imagine.

ROMANCE + HORROR + SMUT STORY

No Batman and not everything about crane that's mentioned is correct to the actual character in DC.

TW: Violence, Sexual Content, Alcohol/Drug Use, Gore, Mental Illness, Parental Issues, Smut, Murder, Extreme Kinks (dom/crane, blood, choking, hair pulling, spanking, age gap, toys, dub-con and daddy kink) and Mention of Abuse, Assault and SA.

Not all warnings shown will be used in this exact chapter! Bold warnings are some to be expected throughout the chapter below!

"Y/N?" A nurse asks, coming from around the corner. "Dr Crane is ready for you now."

I sat and rotted in solitude on the playground watching as a group of eyes turned to my direction. The group of girls laughed to themselves staring in my direction. Their eyes held disgust, piercing through me. I glanced up and down at my little pink sundress, then at my hair and then at my hands. I couldn't figure out what was so wrong about me, and why they laughed and stared.

As I made eye contact with one of the girls she began to approach me. Her hands clenched in fists and her friends standing alongside her. I felt the blood begin to drain from my face. My hands and chest went cold. In instinct I jumped to my feet and sprinted to the girl, grabbing her hair and pushing her to the ground. I repeatedly smashed her face into the pavement until the area around her was red. All her friends ran and teachers bolted to me, pulling me off her. So many sounds and so many feelings at once. It was over they all were going to kill me. Right then and there.

My 6 year old self sat in the principal's office confused as to why I was there. I didn't do anything wrong, I was protecting myself.

When I was told the girl just wanted to play I was in udderly disbelief. That is not what I saw in her, she was going to hurt me and I don't regret nor feel bad for what I had done.

Now I am 18, finally able to see one of the best physiatrists in my area. I don't think I need to see one, but my mother believes there is something wrong with me, something that the other physiatrists couldn't figure out.

"Do you want me to come with you?" My mother asks standing up with me, reaching her arm out to mine.

"I'll be fine."

"Oh, okay" she sits back down onto the leather waiting room chair. I was shy so I always liked my mom to be in the appointment with me, but I find when she is, I never get to express what has actually happened. It's always her side of the story. That her daughter is sick and distorted like some monster.

I follow the nurse down the dull, prison like hallway. At the end of the hall she stops and opens a door motioning me to go in with a gentle grin. I went in to see a handsome, dark haired man sitting at a large desk with his hands folded, staring straight through me. A desk and chair so big it made him look small.

"Come, sit" he orders calmly. I slowly walk in sitting in a chair across him. He leans back and lifts a piece of paper from his desk, scanning through it. "Y/N?"

"yes" I respond quietly.

"Great, And you are 18? Correct?"

"yes"

"Still fresh" he nods while lying the paper back down with an unsettling facial expression.

I ignored that comment.

"So what's the problem dear" His passionate blue eyes looked deeply into mine, making it feel hard to speak. Making the air feel heavy. Like I couldn't breathe right.

"My mom thinks there is something wrong with me... but there isn't really."

"Then there is definitely something wrong." I look at him in confusion. "Usually people who think there's nothing wrong with them, have something wrong with them. So, what did you do." His eyes turn to a look of interest, and obsession.

"I didn't do anything"

"Yes you did. What did you do to cause your mother to send you here. Big event, tragic moments?"

"Well she always tells me to talk about an event from elementary school, all because I attacked a girl but it was because she was gonna hurt me. I was just standing up for myself."

"Hurt you how?" His eyes narrowed.

"Hit me, yell at me, take me away... I don't know. It wasn't that serious"

"Was this the only occurrence you attacked someone?" He licks his lips, still making eye contact with me; Though my eyes were looking down.

"No, it's happened quite a few times"

"And because these people were going to hurt you?" He pushes his glasses up from his nose.

"Yes"

"And what made you think they were going to hurt you?"

I didn't like talking about this, I didn't want to be here in the first place. He's asking too many questions and I just want to go home.

"They either had a look on their face or they came running at me. it's like they become possessed and they want to rip me in half."

"What kind of look did they have?" He takes a pen and a clip board into his pale hands.

"An evil look, they looked angry"

"And in response what did you do?" He scribbles on his page. His eyes staring through his eyebrows.

"I got them before they got me."

He looks up at me, interested.

"Give me an example"

"Well one of the times when I was elementary school I had to... beat a girls face into the cement. Another time in middle school I stabbed a pencil through a boy's hand. So he couldn't grab me.. and choke me."

"You're a murderous little thing aren't you" he says admiring my words. "Tell me more" he says hungrily.

"Oh. Um.. another time a girl was looking at me strangely and when I asked her why she just kept calling me crazy over and over, even though I'm not. She was going to hit me. I-I got scared so I pushed my fingers into her eyes."

"Now why do you think these people were so mad with you?"

"I don't know, that's what I've been wondering for years but everyone always is. It wont stop they wont. Go. Away."

"Well I'm not mad at you"  He says calmly, leaned back in his chair with his fingers crossed in his lap.

"Yeah sure" I say looking down to my lap.

"Y/N. Look at me." He says seriously. I look up.  His ice blue eyes stare at me through his glasses.  I feel an overcoming power come through me. His stare feels so intimidating yet enchanting. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"You sound like my mother. This isn't gonna help me". I picked at the skin on my fingers.

He sighs and rubs his eyes. "I imagine we can figure something out sweetheart, I am the best you're gonna get."

"Then what's wrong with me?"

"Well I'll need to do some physicalexams along with talking to you more about these situations you're having, because 'hunny you do have something wrong'" He said that last part with an irritating, sarcastic form of 'empathy'. I stared waiting for him to say more. "But it's okay, no one is perfect. Everyone's got something wrong with them" he smirks lightly. "Just some of us are better at hiding it than others."

"What's wrong with you?" I ask softly, not knowing if it was a good idea to ask that.

"That's not for you to worry about sweetheart" he says delicately with a smirk. "But I am curious, have you always used violence as a way to solve these situations?"

"Mostly... yeah"

"Y/N, what are you scared of?" He changes the subject with a stern look on his face.

"Oh, um..." I think for a moment starring down at my hands. "Drowning, I guess?"

"What are you really scared of."

Full book on my Wattpad! But all chapters will be posted here, just be sure to keep yourself updated!

[faint-taste-of-almonds]

ik they're Jewish, but "Merry Christmas, Please Don't call" by Bleachers is so Stan Twins-coded it honestly makes me cry

no actually I'm not done with this

I don't have the ability to animate for shit (maybe one day) so y'all will just have to suffer through my vaguely-described brainchild bc this makes me so ill not even joking

ok so:

(intro music) We see a split screen, on the left (LSS) is Stan and on the right (RSS) is Ford. Stan is early into his grifter years, and Ford is in college. Both look a little older than when Stan is kicked out. Both are laying awake at night staring at the ceiling, Stan in his car and Ford in his dorm bed.

To the tempo of your uptight Uptight being a synonym for an anxious state, we see each of them tapping a foot or a finger

Is the flicker of a street light A streetlight is visible from the Stanleymobile and from Ford's dorm window, though visibly different ones. The light is flickering, for both of them.

You know this moment don't ya Both twins squeeze their eyes shut, and the lights combine into a single one, different from the ones before. This is the light from outside their Jersey home, the night Stan is kicked out.

And time is strangely calm now Both twins stare off into space, the split screen back in place. Stan is in his car, and Ford in their his room. They are young(er) again. (so, so young)

'Cause everybody's gone it's (LSS): Stan looks to his passenger side, where Ford would sit if he were driving them both. (RSS): Ford looks at Stan's empty bunk, at all the stuff he's left behind.

Just you and your anger We see Stan's fists tightening around the steering wheel, and Ford's around the pamphlet. They are both gritting their teeth while tears drip down their faces.

Oh golden boy We now see singularly from Stan's perspective. The boys as children run past, Ford beaming while playing around with Stan. This is tinged with fondness.

don't act like you were kind This is Ford on the swing, talking about West Coast Tech. This is Ford, shutting the curtains, leaving Stan hanging with his High Six in the air.

You were mine but you were awful every time This is Stan with Ford in the basement, smiling about reconciling before being handed the journal.

So don't tell them what you told me Stan and Ford argue in the basement - This is specifically the line "I'm giving you the chance to do something worthwhile for once in your life."

Don't hold me like you know me Ford and Fiddleford, either in college or working on the portal. Ford looks at a picture of the twins before Fidds calls his attention and he stuffs it back in a pocket.

I would rather burn forever Stan, smoking a cigarette down as far as it will go

But you should know that I died slow Stan, alone in Ford's bathroom, tending to his brand.

Running through the halls of your haunted home Stan looks around the mess that is the cabin while Ford is in his deepest paranoia.

And the toughest part is that we both know Stan leafs through Journal 1, desperate for answers.

What to happened to you Stan, hurt and angry, shoving Ford toward the portal accidentally.

Why you're out on your own Stan, watching Ford begging for him to do something as he is swallowed by the portal.

Merry Christmas, please don't call We see Stan's figure outline sitting in the darkness of the broken portal, hugging the journal. He wants his brother back.

You really left me on the line kid 17 year old Ford in their room, cradling something that triggers a memory of Young Stan and Ford

Holding all your baggage Ford puts this item in a box labeled Keep.

You know I'm not your father Portal-Years Ford stares into a mirror. A comparison of Ford, Stan (the way Ford remembers him), and Filbrick in a mirror. Ford looks away.

Who says welcome to your uptight Filbrick stares at a college-age Ford, inquiring about money.

While it flickers like a street light Ford is still nervous in the face of his father. He remembers what happened to Stan.

He flickers through your damage Ford looks at his hands. Five-fingered hands, rough with callouses and boxing scars overlay them. He curls them into fists and looks away.

Oh golden boy you shined a light on our home Ford's view of Stan, a strong and sociable protector and companion. Similar to the photo of them boxing, with Filbrick in the background.

And at your best you were magic we were sold Young Ford, enraptured by the story that a young Stan is weaving for him.

But don't tell em what you told me Post-Portal Stan and Ford, when Stan renounces Ford as family.

Don't even tell em that you know me Stan with the twins, explaining Ford's relation to him as Ford watches, missing something that he can't quite name.

I would rather burn forever Ford, working himself to the bone to prepare for Weirdmaggedon, ignoring Stan.

But you should know that I died slow Ford's time in the portal. He is constantly reminded of Stan, his memory version of Stan (young and loving) wherever he goes, and it pains him incredibly. Hunted and injured, he goes to talk to his brother, but there's only air.

Running through the halls of your haunted home 17 year old Ford walks past family portraits in their childhood home, pointedly ignoring them.

And the toughest part is that we both know We switch to split screen again. Stan is alone and grifting, Ford is at his HS graduation. There is an empty seat next to him.

What to happened to you Single screen again. This is the packed duffle bag by the door.

Why you're out on your own This is the perpetual motion machine, spinning until it breaks. Stans horrified face appears, then Ford's furiously betrayed one.

Merry Christmas, please don't call Split screen. Snow falls gently, Stan in his car and Ford in the cabin. Phones are in frame for both of them. They don't even look at them.

One ticket out of your heavy gaze Post-college Ford, feeling guilty/remorseful looking at an old picture. He flashes back to Stan pleading eyes looking up from the street that night.

I want one ticket off of your carousel Ford then lays awake at night, thinking about how Stan might be doing.

I want one ticket out of your heavy gaze Grifter Stan, staring at the boxing picture. He flashes back to Ford's betrayed face looking down from the window that night.

I want one ticket off of your carousel Stan then lays awake at night, thinking about how Ford might be doing.

But you should know that I die slow Split Screen: Stan and Ford, fighting/running from Nightmare creatures separately during Weirdmaggedon.

Running through the halls of your haunted home Single Screen: Both running to save the Mystery twins.

And the toughest part is that we both know Both twins locking eyes while caged, the plan forming silently.

What happened to you The memory gun being set to "Stanley Pines"

Why you're out on your own Stan in that clearing in the woods, Ford and the twins running to hug him.

Merry Christmas, please don't call Young Grifter Stan, standing at a phone booth as it snows. Ford answers, but Stan doesn't say anything.

Merry Christmas, I'm not yours at all College Ford sits at the table with his parents and Shermie/Shermie's family, having a holiday dinner. Caryn has put out an empty chair. Ford keeps glancing at it.

Merry Christmas, Please don't call me Slightly Older Grifter Stan stands at a different phone booth, holiday sales being advertised nearby. Ford doesn't answer this time.

Please don't call me The landline in Ford's house rings. Bill symbols have begun to appear.

Please don't call me The landline in Ford's house rings. There's even more of Bill this time.

Please don't call me The landline rings, and Soos answers. The Grunkles are at sea. Stan calls something out to Ford, who is standing at the bow. He turns, and answers. The water is calm, and their arms are now around each other. They don't need a phone, they're right there with each other.

Anyway thanks for bearing with me, I hope you can see my vision :)

[kathlare]

taking the leap

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Amelie faces a pivotal moment as she opens up to her family about her relationship with Lando. Navigating a mix of reactions, from skepticism to cautious support, she stands her ground with vulnerability and determination.

Wordcount: 1.1 k

Warnings: just fluff

request over here!

February 12th, 2024 - Mérida, México

The air in Mérida felt heavy that evening, as if it could sense the tension Amelie carried in her chest. She stood in the kitchen of her family’s sprawling home, her hands clutching her phone as she nervously reread the text she’d sent Lando earlier.

Ames💛: About to tell them. Wish me luck. Lan🧡: Good luck, love. You’ll be fine. And if not, I’ll fly over and charm them myself. Ames💛: You’re not that charming. Lan🧡: You fell for it.

She bit back a smile, her nerves easing slightly at his confidence. But then her father’s voice boomed from the dining room, calling everyone to gather, and the knot in her stomach tightened again.

Her mum already knew, of course. Julie, Amelie’s meddling but endearing grandmother, had spilled the beans over the holidays when Victoria visited London. While her mum had been understanding and even a little amused, her dad, Stella, and Callum were wild cards. They weren’t hostile to Lando—they’d liked him well enough when he and Amelie were just friends—but this was different.

It wasn’t just “Lando, the friend.” It was “Lando, the boyfriend.” And Amelie wasn’t sure how they’d take it.

As she walked into the dining room, the voices of her siblings filled the air. Callum was recounting some work story, Stella was wrangling Carlota into a seat, and Jack was trying to outpace Elysia in finishing a slice of pan dulce.

—What’s with the serious face, Ames?— Jack teased as she walked in, plopping herself down beside her dad. —You look like you’re about to deliver bad news.—

—Depends on how you take it,— Amelie quipped, her voice steady but her hands fidgeting with the edge of her shirt.

Elysia looked up, sensing the shift in energy. —What’s going on? Did something happen?—

Victoria, seated at the head of the table, gave Amelie an encouraging nod. Amelie swallowed hard, willing her voice to stay firm.

—I have something to tell you all,— she began, glancing around the table. Her dad’s eyebrows knit together in mild concern, while Callum tilted his head curiously.

—Spit it out already,— Stella said, though her tone wasn’t unkind.

—Lando and I are dating,— Amelie blurted out, the words tumbling out in a rush.

The room fell silent, save for the faint clink of Emilio dropping his spoon on his plate.

—You’re what?— Elias finally said, his tone a mix of disbelief and something harder to place.

—We’re dating,— Amelie repeated, her voice quieter but firm. —It’s serious. And it’s been serious for a few months now.—

Callum leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. —Since when?—

—November,— she admitted, feeling the weight of their stares.

—So, this whole time you’ve been sneaking around?— Stella asked, raising an eyebrow. —When we thought you were just friends again?—

—We weren’t sneaking around,— Amelie said, though her voice faltered slightly. —We just... wanted to be sure before telling everyone.—

—And you’re sure now?— her dad asked, his tone sharper than usual.

Amelie met his gaze head-on. —Yes, I am.—

—Why now?— Callum asked, his skepticism evident.

—Because it’s serious, and because Lando��s important to me,— she said, her voice gaining strength. —I didn’t want to hide it anymore.—

Her dad leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. —Amelie, I know you think this is serious, but relationships like this... they’re complicated. Lando’s life is...—

—Busy? Chaotic?— Amelie interjected, her frustration bubbling to the surface. —So is mine. But we’re making it work.—

Victoria finally spoke up, her voice calm but firm. —Elias, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Amelie’s an adult. She knows what she’s doing.—

—Does she?— Elias countered, his gaze still fixed on Amelie. —Because the last time you two were involved, it didn’t end well.—

Amelie flinched at the reminder, but she didn’t back down. —We’re different now. We’ve talked about everything, about what went wrong before, about what we want now. This isn’t the same.—

—And if it ends the same?— Stella asked, her tone not unkind but cautious.

—Then it does,— Amelie said simply. —But that’s a risk I’m willing to take.—

The room was silent for a moment, the weight of her words hanging in the air. Finally, Jack broke the tension with a low whistle. —Damn, Ames. Didn’t think you had that kind of speech in you.—

—Me neither,— Elysia added with a small smile.

Elias sighed, leaning back in his chair. —I just want you to be happy. But more than that, I want you to be sure. You’ve got a lot going on, Amelie. Don’t let this distract you.—

—I’m happy, Dad,— she said softly. —And I’m sure.—

Victoria reached over, squeezing her husband’s hand. —Then that’s what matters.—

Stella still looked skeptical, but she didn’t press further. Callum, however, leaned over to Amelie, his voice low. —If he screws up again, I’ll kill him.—

Amelie couldn’t help but laugh, the tension finally breaking. —Noted.—

As the conversation shifted back to lighter topics, Amelie’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She glanced at the screen, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Lan🧡: Still alive? Ames💛: Barely. But I think they’ll come around. Lan🧡: Told you. I’ll charm them if I have to. Ames💛: Might take more than charm. Lan🧡: Good thing I’m persistent.

She slipped her phone back into her pocket, her heart feeling lighter. Whatever challenges lay ahead, she was ready. And for the first time, she felt like her family might be, too.

Dinner wrapped up more smoothly than Amelie had anticipated. The initial shock had given way to a semblance of normalcy, though she could tell her dad was still processing. Callum had gone back to discussing his latest architectural project, Stella was busy trying to convince Chequito to eat his vegetables, and Jack and Elysia were now bickering over who got the last piece of dessert.

But when her dad stood and quietly motioned for her to join him on the patio, Amelie knew the conversation wasn’t quite over.

She followed him outside, the humid Yucatán air wrapping around her as they stepped into the dimly lit garden. Her dad leaned against the railing, his face unreadable in the soft glow of the patio lights.

—You know I’m not against this, right?— Elias said after a long silence, his voice quieter than before.

—I know,— Amelie replied, crossing her arms as she stood next to him. —But you’re worried.—

He glanced at her, a small, wry smile tugging at his lips. —You’ve always been able to read me too well.—

—It’s because you make it so obvious,— she teased lightly, though her smile quickly faded. —But I get it, Dad. You’ve seen me mess up before.—

—It’s not about messing up,— he said, shaking his head. —It’s about the fact that I’ve watched you work so hard for everything you’ve achieved. You’ve fought for your place in this world, Ames. And I don’t want you to lose focus.—

Amelie sighed, leaning her elbows on the railing. —I won’t. Lando doesn’t take away from that. If anything, he... he reminds me why I love what I do. He gets it, the crazy schedules, the pressure. He supports me. He makes me happy.—

Elias looked at her for a long moment before speaking. —He makes you happy now. But what about later? When things get harder? You’ve both got lives that pull you in opposite directions. How do you make that work?—

—We figure it out as we go,— Amelie said, meeting his gaze. —That’s all we can do. I know it’s not going to be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.—

Her dad sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. —You’re stubborn. Just like your mother.—

—You married her anyway,— Amelie pointed out with a grin.

—And look where that got me,— he said with a dramatic groan, though his smile betrayed him.

Amelie laughed, the tension between them finally easing. She reached over, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. —Thank you, Dad. For worrying. For caring. But you don’t have to anymore. I’ve got this.—

Elias hugged her back, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. —I’ll always worry, Amelie. That’s my job. But if you’re happy, then that’s all that matters to me.—