#so i have no real idea what they're doing

[juanarc-thethird]

Identity theft #1

Cinder: Okay, here's the plan: Neo will impersonate Pyrrha and enter her room to sabotage her weapons, so no one will know.

Emerald: Ok, but what would happen if her teammates show up?

Cinder: I wouldn’t worry about that. Nora and Ren are spending all day searching for the golden pancake, thanks to my amazing ingenuity.

Neo: "And what about the idiot?🤨?

Emerald: Yeah, what about Jaune? Is he busy too?

Cinder: Do you think that Dunce would question Pyrrha? Knowing him, he'd leave her alone while she "works on her weapons."

Neo: "But what if it does?🤔"

Cinder: So you deal with it, but under no circumstances should you throw away your cover, understood?!

Neo: "Yeah sure🙄"

Cinder: Good, now get to work.

Later that day.

"Pyrrha" enters Team JNPR's room, and begins searching through the closets for the real Pyrrha's weapons.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Which one is her closet?😒 I've only found bottles of maple syrup, tea herbs, and comic books. Don't tell me she doesn't have her…👀 Jackpot😎)

In the last closet, she finds Pyrrha's weapons, right at the bottom. She bends down to grab them but is surprised by a somewhat unusual touch.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Is someone touching my ass?!😡)

Jaune: Hello my love, did you hear that Nora and Ren won't be here all day?💕

Pyrrha(Neo): (Wait? They're a couple?! Wow... but I need to leave now. I'll just step aside and leave before anything else happe-AaaH~💕)

Neo feels Jaune's fingers slide inside her. His movements are slow and very stimulating.

Pyrrha(Neo): (God~, this is it, I need to get out of here before…😳!!!)

Suddenly she feels something hot and big between her ass cheeks. She looks back and sees a tremendous, well-endowed piece of meat looking at her directly.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Holy shit! Is fucking huge!😨)

Jaune: Sorry, I know you prefer it in bed, but you've made me so mad for you that I can't control myself. Is it okay if I put it inside you?

Neo can't stop looking at his member after he asked her that, and a silly idea popped into his head.

Pyrrha(Neo): (Well, Cinder did said to do whatever it takes to not blow our cover😏)

She looks at him and gives him a nod.

Meanwhile...

Cinder: Why is Neo taking so long?

Emerald: Maybe she stumbled upon something that can't get out yet?

Cinder: Maybe. Whatever it is, I hope it's a matter of life or death. Because if it isn't, she's going to get it.

Back to Neo...

Still wearing the "Pyrrha" disguise, Jaune has her on all fours, hitting her from behind with his tremendous meat stick, and choking her by the neck gently but firmly.

PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!PLAT!

Pyrrha(Neo): "💕😮‍💨💕🤤💕‼️"

Jaune: Oh god💕! You're tighter than usual! I think I'm gonna cum!

Pyrrha(Neo): (YEs!💕 Cum inside me!💕 I want to feel your delicious warm milk inside me!💕)

Jaune: Oh Fuck💕! Im close!

Pyrrha(Neo): (Do it! Make me yours!💕💕)

Jaune: Oh Pyrrha!!💕

At that moment she can't feel her insides filling with cum, so much that some of it comes out.

Pyrrha(Neo): ( FUuUCk YEeeEes!💕💕)

They both take a breath. Then Jaune pulls his cock out of her, and it all spurts out like a champagne bottle. Staining the floor with his creamy milk.

Jaune: Oh god, I didn't think I'd cum that much. Well, how about a shower and then we go work out a bit?

Pyrrha(Neo): *Nods back*

Jaune: Excellent, I'll wait for you inside.

He says and gets up to go straight to the bathroom. Neo looks at Pyrrha's weapons and thinks for a moment.

Pyrrha(Neo): (I guess this is my only chance to finish the job🫤)

She then hears the sound of the shower running.

Jaune: Pyrrha, come on. I need you to clean me very thoroughly~💕

Pyrrha(Neo): (Well, I can't say I didn't try☺️)

She gets up and heads towards the shower.

But in the midst of all this, she never realized that a person was watching them from the shadows, one very happy to see such an event.

??????: *Giggles* Interesting

To be continued…

[ziyechs]

joe'marr bengals reunion — a (somewhat) comprehensive timeline

1 — “have you spoken to the cincinnati bengals and what would it mean to reunite with joe burrow there?” — “i have talked to the bengals. i don’t know how many times i’ve talked to them though. but, me and joe, you know, i wouldn’t mind going back with joe. if we go back together we’re trying to do nothing but get back our chemistry and have some more fun.”

2 — “i'm really excited for this draft. i don't really know what's coming but, you know, if me and joe could get back to it... i’d love to have some fun with him again.”

3 — “i assume you'd be okay with a potential reunion in cincinnati if that were to happen?" — "yeah, i wouldn’t mind.”

4 — “me and joe talked about [a reunion] maybe like three, four times actually. we talked about it a good bit of times. he texted me this morning, just letting me know: ‘get your bags packed’, so i guess that meant that was gonna be the pick. i don’t know if that was a hint or what. so, he sent me that little text this morning, i was like ‘okay… i'm ready, bro’.”

5 — “what was your reaction like when he was lowkey recruiting you?” — “i actually was believing him sometimes, sometimes i was like ‘stop playing with me’ and sometimes i was just like ‘okay bro, i gotcha, i'm ready now’ so. i believed him this morning when he told me, you know, pack my bags. so that's when i finally was like: ‘yeah he might really be calling this’ so that's when i took his word.”

6 – “jimmy burrow, did joe tell you—he’s always been kind of coy about what he said to the bengals—did joe tell you that he wanted the bengals to select ja’marr?” — “yes, i think we figured that… and eventually… yes, he pretty much told us that he wanted ja’marr.”

7 — “it was like a week before the draft, ja'marr said: ‘dad, joe texted me.’ […] he didn't say what he said, you know. but he said: ‘joe just texted me’, [...] so he had talked to joe like... or texted with joe once or twice that week. and then he told me, he said: ‘dad, if i get with joe, we're gonna kill’ [...] so he was all excited about getting with joe.”

8 — “what was the first thing joe texted you when you got drafted by the bengals?” — “make sure your bag's packed and ready. yeah, that was what he told me.”

9 — “the cincinnati bengals are on the clock now. earlier that morning, i had got a text from joe. he said: hope your bags are packed. i know it's me, at the moment, that's what i'm saying to myself. i can't wait to be a part of it.”

10 — articles: 1, 2, 3, 4

[doppelgougar]

I agree with the spine of this post, viscerally. Also, I apologize in advance for being excessively verbose.

We absolutely need to be asking why does psychiatry pathologize certain clusters of behavior as moral failure? what is the function of calling a personality "disordered"? Who benefits from the idea that some people are just simply bad by virtue of their diagnosis-- especially when a lot of those traits are adaptations to trauma, survival mechanisms, and/or shaped by systemic abuse?

psychiatry is and will always be political. It reflects the values of the systems that it was born in (white supremacy, colonialism, class hierarchy, ableism, misogyny, etc) and it has historically been weaponized to disappear dissent, deviance, "madness", and non-normative ways of relating.

That said,

I think calling NPD or ASPD "Bad Person Disorders", even satirically, is missing the mark a bit in a way that's worth pointing out. It reduces the conversation to a binary which accidentally reinforces the very stigma it's trying to critique.

It's not just that the DSM slaps a moral judgement onto survival traits. It's also that these traits can and do cause real harm, often repeatedly, especially in intimate contexts. And we don't do anyone favors (disordered or not) by pretending otherwise. We should not excuse that harm by saying, "Oh, but they're just traumatized," nor should we dehumanize people by saying, "they're just evil manipulators."

Both takes ultimately strip people who have these disorders of agency, nuance, and the ability to be held accountable without being discarded.

The reality is far more messy:

People with NPD and ASPD are often profoundly traumatized.

Their behaviors do hurt people.

They're often dehumanized to justify mistreatment.

They're also sometimes shielded from the consequences of their actions under the guise of destigmatization.

We need a better framework. One that lets us be messy, be human. We need a framework that allows us to say "This behavior is harmful" and "This person is still a person" and "The system that defined this behavior is wrong" and "None of this excuses abuse or cruelty" all at the same time.

I will admit here: My reaction to posts like this is partially knee-jerk. It's not just an intellectual disagreement, it is a wound flinching.

I've been abused by multiple people with NPD and ASPD. Diagnosed, confirmed, one of them was even in treatment.

I keep seeing this cycle play out where survivor voices are either ignored, downplayed, or dismissed as ableism the moment we try to speak about the very real, very patterned abuse we've endured from people who have been given these labels. That does not sit right with me.

When I see posts that seem to wholeheartedly reject even the possibility that people who have been labeled with these disorders might have specific inclinations towards certain kinds of harm, it feels invalidation-- Not just to me, but to so many others in survivor communities. Speaking for myself, it feels like the pain of my abusers is being prioritized over the pain they have caused. It feels like survivors are being told to sit down and shut up for the sake of someone else's liberation.

This is what I keep coming back to though. If we're serious about dismantling the system of psychiatry, there has to be a meeting point. The reality is diagnoses like NPD and ASPD are inherently steeped in racism, carcerality, and social control. They have been used to brutalize people, especially people who are already marginalized and trying to fight for themselves. That is real. That is important. That matters.

But so does the other side of this: countless survivors have been profoundly harmed by people given those same exact labels. The violence endured by survivors isn't a political abstraction but our lives. When survivors speak on this, we need to be heard rather than dismissed as "reactionary" or "ableist" when, by and large, we are simply using the only language we have available to make sense of their experiences.

But it is not going to be possible to get free without each other. I really do not think it is. The only way forward is together, and that is going to mean grappling with the messy reality of holding multiple truths at once and dealing with the painful overlap between them.

No excusing of harm done to anyone. Naming all of it, and trying to figure out what healing might look like if we stop pretending anyone has a monopoly on pain.

On the question of ASPD and NPD I honestly wish the debate would be less about "you can have Bad Person Disorder without being a Bad Person actually" (true) and more so "why is there a Bad Person Disorder and what political purpose does it serve". Like the fact that we are literally and officially diagnosing people as Inherently Bad™️, usually due to trauma reactions, and treating them accordingly should elicit a lot more criticism than it does

[after-the-end-times]

Eddie, They're Mermaids

Rating: T 🧜🏼 Words: 408 🧜🏼 Tags: Pre-Steddie, Pre-Buckingham, Different meeting, Mer!Steve, Mer!Robin For @steddiemicrofic Prompt: Delay For Mermay Ao3

“Please excuse the delay, our mermaids will be out shortly”

Eddie and Chrissy had been sitting in the stands for twenty minutes, waiting, sweating. Eddie figured the swimmers were having trouble getting their tails on and he was debating whether they should just leave.

The zoo had been pushing this new show all summer and they’d finally given in to all the advertisements, even though Eddie assumed it’d be pretty kid-y.

“Oh, look! This says that in addition to this show, we can see them swim with the sharks inside!” Chrissy chirped, pointing at the pamphlet. “We should do that!”

Eddie side eyed her, too sweaty to be excited. “You know they’re not real mermaids, right? They’re just employees wearing flippers.”

“Wow.” She rolled her eyes, “Remind me how those jousters at the RenFair were real knights, again?”

Eddie huffed, tipping his head back. “Okay, fair. Maybe I’m just hungry.”

She handed over a granola bar without looking up from reading. The crowd cheered as he took a bite.

The two mermaids swam out. A girl with a tail all sparkling orange and brown. And a guy who’s tail had brownish spots speckled against bright yellow and pink scales. Jeez he’s pretty.

They wore prosthetics on their arms and backs, paint on their faces and torsos. No wonder the show was delayed; it must take them hours to get ready! And it was worth it.

It. Was. Magnificent.

Eddie had no idea they would jump out of the water! Doing effortless flips and spins! The guy was so strong, handsome, and spectacular.

Eddie needed to meet him.

He grabbed the pamphlet from Chrissy, checking for the shark show’s location. “Okay, let’s go.”

“What?” She looked up as he stood. “Eddie, it’s not over.”

“Chrissy, we need to beat the crowds to the show inside!”

She grinned triumphantly; He knew he’d get an earful of I told you so’s later.

Inside was nice and cold as he pulled her through the halls, then through a door marked AQUARIUM ENTRANCE.

“Uh, Eddie-”

Oops. They were standing by a backstage water tank connected to the outside as the mermaids swam under a ledge, popping up in the tank. They didn’t notice Eddie and Chrissy and, hopping up on a platform, they started drying off.

Where, before Eddie’s very eyes, as they rubbed the water free from their skin, their tails melted away.

Eddie’s mouth dropped open.

“Well, fuck me, they’re mermaids.”

[ancientnapdragon]

I think that trying to expand on or explore Yue Qingyuan's or Shen Jiu's parents could be really fun. Espeeeecially SJ. Like why were these two poor kids thrown in the dirt?

Like yeah I know tragedy and storytelling and blah blah blah but lemme just squish them.

Anyway so I had another random idea, feel free to use as always, involving our special boy Shen Yuan. Basically he is a half demon (what flavor is up to you, but I was specifically imagining some type of bug 🐛). He is this very pretty little thing who lives in the demon realm with his Cultivator mom, except they're both like basically kept/imprisoned in this Demon Lord's compound.

His mom always told him about how she used to be in love with this other Cultivator and they had another son together. But shortly after he was born the Demon Lord like killed the dad, stole the mom, and threw the baby in a ditch. She's a real peerless beauty type. SY has always mourned for his older brother he never met and for how much his mom hates it here, even if she's done everything in her power to love him and teach him cultivation.

SY is also a super pretty boy and he's like? 11 or 12 or so? And his dad decides that since he's kinda useless otherwise he's gunna marry SY off. His mom helps him escape before that can happen and he swears to get enough power to free her someday.

Cue like a big chase but he makes it out of the Demon Realm and into the Human Realm. By complete coincidence he ends up running into like 9 y/o Binghe while his mom is super sick. Even the he can't do much he uses some of his demon powers and like heals her! But she's still really weak. And helps take care of SY for a bit before he encourages the two of them to go to CMS to be Cultivators. (She doesn't know that SY is a half demon, neither does LBH.)

They leave together and SY like admits that he wish he could save HIS mom and gives LBH a censored (of the demon stuff) version of his own mom's story. LBH promises to get super strong someday so he can help SY rescue her and SY is touched.

Anyway they do the hole digging and there is one set of eyes like LOCKED on SY the whole time. SQQ can see that FOOL making sopping eyes at the dirty little kid who looks like a younger version of himself. Before YQY can pick him, SQQ does and is so mad he like leaves the rest of the selection.

(LBH Still gets chosen! By YQY!)

Cue a lot of SQQ being a dick but over time like weirdly protective of the sassy, spitfire kid who is his little clone. SY is glad he saved LBH from a future of torment at SQQ's hands even if he brought it on himself instead. And SQQ over time is kinda... well, not nice. But he's not as bad as PIDW always talked about. Too bad he can't focus on that AS much when he's trying to keep his demon parts hidden!!

Eventually, like after SY has been there a few years, SQQ would find out the story about SY's missing older brother. And even tho he's probably been convinced it's just a passing resemblance, alarm bells start going off in his head. Some Airplane Flavored Bullshit would happen and would reveal the two of them are actually related by blood, too.

SQQ demanding to know what happened to their mother (since he knows his dad's fate :( ) and SY reluctantly telling him. OG Story just off the rails at this point. LBH is like 17 and has become YQY's head disciple and is living his best life with his depressed Shizun.

Not really sure where it would go from there tbh. But SY/SJ's mom would be rescued and I think she deserves to be in lesbians with LBH's mom. As a treat. Maybe they could do some shit with TLJ some the plot is so bad cause the demon lord was the one who half took his place after TLJ was sealed? Like, enemy of my enemy is my friend kinda shit to take out the demon lord properly. Ideal is we somehow bring back SYX and then the 4 parents form like a polycule. Big "Gee, TLJ! How come the author lets you have THREE hot wives??" Energy.

Anyway happy mother's day

[marithempressz]

Scorpio Full Moon: What transformations are knocking at your door?

Today is a significant moment in the collective energy. I've not only heard that it's going to be something big and profound, but I'm already feeling it. That’s why I felt called to do this reading and help you gain some insight into this moment. Take what resonates, and enjoy the reading!

Pile 1 - Black Swan Pile 2 - Ex_Machina Pile 3 - Catwoman

Pile 1

The Empress, The Star

I see a hurricane or tornado. It seems that things are really going to shift for you, huh? A radical change in your life and life perspectives. You might feel like everything is being destroyed—or maybe you already do—and that’s a normal scenario when things are changing so profoundly.

Scorpio’s ruler is Pluto, and this guy is not only a powerful force of destruction but also a source of strength to rebuild something brand new, completely different from what needed to die.

Look, there’s nothing to be afraid of. There’s a clear path for you to follow—very practical and objective. This path will lead you to success, fortune, and the fulfillment of your dreams. The transformation knocking at your door is going to change the course of your life for the better. However, you need to commit to yourself. Be serious about it���it’s time to grow up.

Earth is strongly present here, so themes of practicality, objectivity, and building a solid foundation are being emphasized. This transformation is asking you to commit. The Empress represents commitment, so what’s the most important thing in your life right now that needs your loyalty and perseverance?

Also, your feminine aspect is asking to be heard. You need to be in touch with your intuition and emotions while dealing with these earthly matters. This transformation isn’t asking you to be completely rational—but rather to use your intuition alongside your rationality. For example, if you’re structuring a routine, try to feel what works best for you. Get it? If you’re working on something important, be open to ideas that come “out of nowhere”—because they do come from somewhere, and that “somewhere” is trying to help guide you through this.

With The Star, there’s definitely a message about growing up—letting the shadow side of innocence go, and discovering the real world, where it takes time for some dreams to be built. Right now is the perfect moment to be honest with yourself. Don’t delay your evolution—it will only make things harder. Just be real. There are more beautiful things in the real world than you might imagine.

Pile 2

The Hanged man, Page of Coins

I see a bird—maybe an eagle or an Andean condor. Whichever one resonates with you, birds are messengers. I feel more drawn to speak about the condor. In Andean culture, condors are seen as intermediaries with the spirit world. They're a type of vulture, which deepens their symbolic connection to death, rebirth, and transformation.

I feel something stirring in the chest area—likely a transformation related to your relationships, how you view love, and how you see yourself. There’s also a sense of deep exhaustion, a feeling that you can’t live like this anymore. That’s powerful, especially since this full moon is all about releasing everything that no longer serves you. You don’t have the energy—or the time—to keep dealing with these same issues.

Even while you may feel hopeless or defeated, there’s a spark you can’t ignore—a sense of renewal, of rebirth, something completely different from what you’ve known. Interestingly, there’s also an eagle in the Hanged Man’s card. The card depicts the myth of Prometheus, who defied Zeus and was punished: an eagle would eat his liver daily, and it would regenerate, only to be eaten again. Eventually, Prometheus is saved—but only by Zeus’ permission.

This tells a story of divine permission, divine timing. It reflects the moment when your higher self knows it’s time to break a pattern, time to be free. This feels like something you’ve been waiting a long time to heal from. But now, finally, you are free.

There is hope here. There is trust in divine will, and trust in yourself—for holding onto faith along the path. No more torture. 

Also, don’t forget that you have learned something through these dark times. 

Pile 3 

The Empress, Death, Page of Wands

A change in the way you see the world around you is happening. The third eye chakra is being activated. I saw a mountain—Everest, perhaps? A peak. A place where you can retreat from society for a while to reconnect with your true self. Afterward, you return—ready to share what you’ve learned.

This reminded me of Mikao Usui, the founder of Reiki. He meditated for 21 days on Mount Kurama, and it was there where he channeled the Reiki technique. For this group, there's a profound spiritual transformation taking place.

If you feel called to pick Pile 1, trust that instinct. Go ahead—follow what you’re feeling. The Empress appears here again, which suggests that both piles are connected.

Now, there’s something really fascinating in this message. In the Death card, we see the ruler of the underworld—Pluto, or Hades. The word “Pluto” comes from the Greek Plouton, meaning wealth or riches. In mythology, when people died, they had to carry coins to cross the River Styx and reach the underworld. Without the coins, it was said they would suffer at the river's edge.

Symbolically, this means that Death requires something from you in order to pass through and reach a new beginning. You must leave something behind to receive what comes next. You can’t fully embrace the new if you’re still holding onto the old. And again, this full moon is all about letting go of what no longer serves you.

Interestingly, Scorpio rules the 8th house, which—just like Pluto—also deals with money and wealth. On a deeper level, it’s in the underworld, in the unconscious, where true riches lie. Real transformation. Real gold.

The Empress also appears alongside the Death card. Her theme is abundance and creation—she’s pregnant in the card, representing new life. The Page of Wands is present too, which symbolizes fresh energy and beginnings. Together, these cards speak of a powerful spiritual rebirth. A big one.

At the same time, you may feel uncertain, even fragile—like something just born. And that’s okay. Just as a mother cares for her child, The Empress reminds you to nurture whatever new energy, ideas, or insights are coming to life for you now. You don’t need to share everything with everyone—protect what’s growing.

Take care of what’s being born. And have a beautiful journey.

[doberbutts]

I've gotten a lot of responses on this one but I think this hits the nail on the head.

Folks, I'm not saying these men are Secretly Gay or Ace or Aro or anything. I'm calling them misogynists with shitty worldviews. I'm saying that for all that a heterosexual man is supposed to like women, it seems like guys like this mostly just like vag and tit and not, you know, the human beings attached to those body parts.

And no, this is not restricted to online. Actually what made me make this post was a song in which a band I like was making fun of guys like this, said song has played on the radio and had a verse that was more or less "I went on this date with this girl and she was perfect until she started to take pictures of her latte so I'm ghosting her because I can't stand her anymore". And while they're playing up the dramatics for the point of the song (which is, again, to make fun of dudes who act like this) I've heard enough comedy routines and tv/movie scripts and radio hosts and podcasts and college students walking by to have heard this in passing in real life and not simply in the depths of reddit and 4chan. I've heard politicians and celebrities and professors and news anchors doing this. This isn't a showcase of "the worst of" Facebook comments in a circle jerk group that posts exclusively women they think are ugly for existing as a human being.

Because a lot of these dudes ARE using "blue haired leftists" as a shorthand for a personality type. The problem is that the personality type they're saying they dislike is, largely, "woman who won't be a tradwife mommy maid who exists solely in my sexual power fantasies".

Which, at that point, makes me wonder if they even like women past an incredibly shallow idea of what women as property can provide for them rather than enjoying the women they date as whole entire human people.

The longer I exist as a loudly proudly gay man the more I think that cishet men aren't actually attracted to women.

[traincat]

a genuine question why do people keep saying johnny is gay instead of bi? like i get it and i agree BUT why not bi?

Honestly I think this is one of those things that is totally up to personal interpretation, considering the weird Queer Grey Area Johnny lives in. I think he's gay, though I've gone back and forth over the years, but if other people want to think he's bi/pan, I don't think that's a wrong interpretation, either. (I do not control how other people label the Human Torch's sexuality, etc.)

I think, for me, what's swung my personal read on the character to gay over the years is just like, the extreme lack of actual demonstrated attraction to women. Johnny says he's attracted to women. Loudly! Frequently! Through the bullhorn! Is there a camera turned his way! Oh God please someone believe him. But when confronted with an attractive woman who wants to be intimate with him, he may go along with it, but sooner or later he's going to start ghosting.

(FF v3 #55) "'Scuze me -- I had this funny idea a guy was supposed to spend time with his girlfriend."

Look at his marriage, for example. Not the Skrull retcon stuff, although I do think that ultimately comes into play -- I'm talking about two things. There's, first off, the extreme sexlessness of the honeymoon.

(FF #301 and #302) I'm not saying like, nobody goes hiking on their honeymoon. I'm sure there's avid hikers enjoying romantic hikes out there. I'm saying that this is Johnny Storm and he's out there backpacking and visiting artist communes. Peter and Mary Jane, by comparison, were making the beast with two backs on a beach in France. (I actually really like #302 as an issue, it has a fun concept, but it does kind of highlight how Unsexy Johnny and Alicia are as a couple. The chemistry of styrofoam.)

Then there's the Crystal Emotional Affair.

(FF #305) "So things did work out in the long run!" Oh yeah you guys are gonna be real normal about each other.

(FF #317)

This never goes anywhere, mostly because of Johnny. I don't doubt Crystal would have upheld the most holiest of marital duties: cheating. (I love Crys, I just think her love 'em and leave 'em tendency is funny.) There's a lot of melodramatic bemoaning here -- she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen! She regrets her decision to leave him! They're angsting about it in the shower. Separate. Separate showers. Because this never goes anywhere even remotely physical, because Johnny Would Never Cheat On His Wife, as he says. Repeatedly.

It's important to look at the issue numbers here: Johnny and Alicia only got together in #275. They got married in #300. By #305, Johnny is basically emotionally clawing at the walls to get out of his marriage, falling back on old romances, which is something of a tendency. When Crys dumped him, after all, he tried to get back with Dorrie Evans. Nothing happened there, either.

And then much later on, when Crystal does come onto him, he's not into it.

(Marvel Knights 4 #30)

Again, there's a pattern here. After Frankie Raye left him (for Galactus), he pursued her roommate Julie Angel hard -- albeit chastely. But when Julie does kiss him, he's suddenly "over her." Johnny talks the talks but he rarely walks the walk.

(FF #236) Out of curiosity, I wanted to see what Peter was doing romantically around this exact time. Peter's a useful yardstick here because whatever else you want to headcanon about him, he's definitely romantically and sexually interested in women, and consistently portrayed that way. At this point in time (roughly late 1981), Peter was embroiling himself in a love triangle with his fellow grad students, Marcy Kane and Deb Whitman, and then also getting back together with Black Cat. He should be classified a menace against women. But while Peter is referencing cunnilingus techniques in scenes with his wife, Johnny's most overt sexual reference from his own marriage is that he's going to "darn Alicia's socks." And that's not even Johnny! That's in an imagined world that never happened! We know they were sleeping together, because Johnny certainly believes it's possible that Lyja could have been pregnant, but there's no passion between Johnny and Alicia during the marriage. And if it was just the marriage, I could write that off as him not being attracted to Alicia specifically. But it's not just the marriage.

Johnny is constantly portrayed as someone who wants to be in love, but once he's in that relationship, there's always a barrier or an obstacle. He's probably his happiest in his initial relationship with Crystal which is, uh, unfortunate, because that started when he was roughly 19 and ended at latest in his very early 20s. (Again, we're dating him by dating Peter, here -- Johnny got married very shortly before Peter did, and Peter got married, by his own statement, five years after he started college, so he was roughly 23. Johnny would also have been 23 or 24 when he got married. This means MJ was 22 when she got married oh my God put her back in that club.) And Johnny and Crystal are very cute!

(FF #64 and #67) They're adorable. But they're kids. Just because Johnny had a Pinterest board for his Plaza wedding at age 19 doesn't mean it was going to work.

Then there's Frankie -- obviously, Frankie and Johnny were not doing anything, because whenever Frankie takes off her clothes she's got a whole gold bodysuit under there. Once the reveal with her powers happens, Johnny is disturbed by Frankie's more violent tendencies. Then she leaves him for Galactus. His next "big" relationship is Alicia/Lyja, and that's. You know, that's a whole thing. After that, things never REALLY get off the ground again. There's relationships! But they don't go anywhere. This is also when the Playboy Johnny persona emerges, as shallow as it is, and while I do think there's enough evidence to headcanon that as Johnny's trauma response to the Skrull marriage, honestly it's probably just because Marvel's cadre of largely male writers in the late '90s and early '00s couldn't imagine a single blond pretty boy wouldn't be a raging skirt chaser. I'm going to address this in more detail in a reply to a different ask, but I personally believe in something called the Johnny Effect where I give every new Fantastic Four writer post-Claremont something like the first few issues to adjust to writing Johnny. There's usually a slide into a more honest look at the character after that point. Which I get -- there's characters where, after you write them for a while, you start thinking about them more in depth, and I think that's what happens with Johnny.

The third thing for me is like -- I've talked about this before but there's the history of violation linked to Johnny and intimacy. In some way, in a lot of his relationships (although not all), Johnny is lied to, has his boundaries violated, or is flat out assaulted. This isn't solely with women, granted. Daken Akihiro, Wolverine's son, engineers their (word of author canon) relationship by shooting him through the thigh with an arrow and pinning it on Bullseye. But I would not call that an isolated incident on the other party's side. It's just that it does happen a lot with women, including women he's had relationships with.

(FF #46 and #49) That's an alternate Frankie Raye, but still. You have the kiss with Psionics at the end of that arc, only for Psionics' next appearance to involve her killing one of Johnny's good friends in front of him while threatening the lives of his niece and nephew. There's a certain level of melodrama expected in romantic relationships with comics, but Johnny's drama often crosses a line in a way Peter's "bad girl" drama with, say, Felicia, doesn't. I think you could trace a lot of this back to the unaddressed aspects of the Lyja plotline, but not all of it.

Other characters just also euphemistically call him gay.

(Hulk vs Thing: Hard Knocks #3) Why does the Hulk think he's gay.

I swung around to thinking he's just not attracted to women at all through a lot of rereads and writing various meta posts and just generally thinking about him, but again, that's not like, I can't make any rules here, I can just make my own case. If other people want to view him as bi, I think you could make a case, too. From my perspective, there's a lack of demonstrated attraction to women (even the weird Sexy Cosplayers scene in Miller's run is a set up so a film crew can walk in on him and he abandons them at the first opportunity) and a lack of emotional intimacy to a lot of his relationships when compared to his Very Heterosexual Male Friendships. For me, I think what's going on with Johnny is that he was put in this role as a teenager of the Celebrity Teen Heartthrob, and he was at least somewhat aware at that point in time that the Fantastic Four's security depended heavily on both him and Sue being desirable to fans. But boyband-types grow up, and Johnny has struggled to match his image to what's "desirable" to his current market group -- but he knows it involves him in a high profile relationship with a woman, and that's where a lot of his post-Alilyja relationships have come from. (Darla, Kourtney, Nita, etc.) I think Dark Wolverine demonstrated that if Johnny's in the closet, it's not to his family. They know what's going. It's the rest of the world Johnny keeps himself closeted over, because he links his high flying heartthrob image to safety.

(Daken: Dark Wolverine #4) "Is peace hard to come by for you?"

But again, sexuality headcanons -- and again, Johnny is not canon-by-corporate queer -- are personal. These are just my thoughts on the subject.

(FF v6 #5) "Be brave, Johnny Storm."

[ladykailitha]

Shut Up and Drive Part 1

Hello and welcome to the little fic that been stewing in my mind off and on since I joined this fandom and have finally starting writing it.

This story was born out of the rogue thought of 'how did Eddie know Steve could drive the RV fast enough to get them the hell out of Dodge?' and the idea that bored rich kids in a small rural town absolutely would go out street racing on the weekends and you have this.

It's technically canon adjacent as you'll see as we lead up to the RV scene, still drifts (I'm punny ;) ) into AU territory later on.

Summary: Eddie does what he needs to to keep the lights on and that means dealing to stupid rich kids with more money than sense. He prefers parties because it's indoors and he's able to slip out the back. But from March until October is when he makes his best money. Because that's when bored, little rich kids race each other for money. And at the end of the season, pink slips. Eddie hates all the leaders of each of the three fractions, Cruise and her Pink Ladies, Titan and his Drift Dynasty, but the one that really grinds his gears is stupid pretty boy King and his even stupider named Asphalt Assassins.

Or in which Carol, Tommy, and Steve all head a street racer crew without the others knowing and no one knowing Steve=King. They're stupid kids, all right?

~

When you live in the middle Bumfuck Nowhere you have very limited options on what to do for fun on the weekends. There’s a movie at the Hawk, the arcade, or if you’re lucky some rich kid will throw a party and invite you.

Or if you’re among the sacred few, you go out street racing. A couple Saturdays a month during the warm months of the year, a group of kids with more money than sense will pick one of the many backroads and race.

Usually they play for money, make bets, that sort of thing. But the weekend before Halloween, they race for pink slips. For the car themselves.

Eddie is always kept in the know because he provides a service these rich kids need. Drugs. Weed is common as is Speed for obvious reasons. Someone else provides the booze, thank god, but Eddie does really well on these nights. He always comes home with enough to keep the lights on and get real food for a week.

He was at the first drag meet of year and after three years of this, he still didn’t know the real name of the “The King”. The best racer and MC. He was a vision in cropped tops and cut off jeans barely long enough to cover his ass. He wore a baseball cap and dark sunglasses, even at night.

The dude never raced the same car twice; having won so many his first year, they were forced to only have the finale race for pink slips.

He was also the biggest pain in the ass, according to Eddie. He never smoked weed, did any of the harder drugs, nor let anything other than water pass his lips. He had the biggest and deepest pockets but he never bought anything from Eddie. And that stinginess rubbed him the wrong way.

This was going to be the year he made the King fall from his Ivory tower to partake of his goods.

He pulled up to the spot behind the Hess Farm. There was talk that the old man was thinking of selling, so the Dragsters with their three factions, The Asphalt Assassins, The Pink Ladies, and The Drift Dynasty had decided to use it one last time before it was sold to someone with actual fucking hearing.

The King was already there with the rest of the Asphalt Assassins. They had all taken on their King’s disguise of cut off shorts, crop tops, sunglasses and baseball caps. Though their shorts weren’t nearly as short as their leader’s. The King was the only one who wore white, the rest wore black.

Suddenly there was a roar behind him and turned to see the second best team, The Pink Ladies, complete with their pink jackets, high heels, and bandannas over their faces. Their leader Cruise wore a pink tribly with a black band. She looked like Sandy at the end of “Grease” only all in pink.

Then the final faction roared up to the field. The Drift Dynasty. All the members were kids of racers who had raced back in the 50s. Even the two girls. These racers wore red hoodies and black sunglasses. For fuck’s sake they even had their handles printed on the back of the hoodies like sports jerseys. Their leader, Titan was a hard-nosed asshole and Eddie just might hate him more then the King.

Eddie took a brief moment to scan the horizon for cops and then he hopped out of the van. He walked past the other two racing teams as if they didn’t exist. Because as far as he was concerned they would hit him up at any time during the night and he would make bank off of them. No his attention was solely on King.

“Your majesty,” he said with an exaggerated bow. “I’ve come to peddle my wares.”

King snorted. He was currently leaning against metallic purple Dodge Charger, cooler than the frigid night air. Not that he looked like he felt it. He was in his signature Daisy Duke’s and crop top. Sure he had leather jacket on, but it was draped so that it was falling off his shoulders. It looked artful and God did it make Eddie’s blood boil.

“Just announcing my arrival,” he said, wagging his eyebrows. He opened the lunch box and presented it to King. “Anything that tantalizes your majesty?”

King shook his head. “Nothing you have will ever pass these lips, so you best take your ‘wares’ elsewhere, man.”

“I’ll find something that will,” Eddie murmured with a knowing smirk. “Just wait.”

“Keep dreamin’, you dork,” King said, shaking his head fondly. “Go on, your real customers are waiting.”

Eddie straightened up and turned to the crowd. “I’ll be at my van and you know the prices. Anything you want. Until I run out.” He lopped back to his van to watch the races.

The first race was always the most exciting. It was a three-way race between the leaders. The King didn’t always win, but Titan always lost. Rumor had that Titan was the son of the best racer in the game twenty years ago and was always throwing money at the best upgrades money could buy.

Not that it did Titan any good.

He had no instinct on when to use the tools available to him. He boost too early and burn out before the finish line or he would drift when he should slide. Shit like that. Unlike the King. Whose instinct was called a second sense. But Cruise was the one who could keep up with him. She had style and something to prove.

She had gone up to Titan asking for a chance to drive but he laughed in her face. He sure as hell wasn’t laughing every time she passed him.

Cruise leaned against her bright pink Camero, waiting for the men to decide to join her. Titan stepped out of his suped up black and grey Mustang and Eddie shook his head. The oversized hoodie looked ridiculous on the dude’s short frame.

The King strolled over to join them and the hunger in Titan and Cruise’s glances could not be covered by their sunglasses.

“You bet get in your ride, King,” Titan sneered. “Don’t want you freezing off those assets, now do we?”

“Like you could get my engine running, Titan,” King bitched back. “Pick a lane and stick to it, asshole.” He shook Cruise’s hand. “I look forward to racing you this year.”

“It’s always a pleasure, King,” Cruise purred. “Maybe this is the year I get you to step into my ride.”

King looked up and down and Eddie wanted to gag. Hetros are the worst.

“Maybe it will be,” King said with a smirk and then pulled her close to her ear and whispered something, Eddie couldn’t hear.

But when Cruise stepped back, her whole posture was awkward and embarrassed. Which really made him wonder what King told her.

King smirked and stepped back, too. He looked over at Titan. “You actually going to put your money where you mouth is this season or are you going to go crying back to Daddy, like you and the rest of the Dynasty do every year.”

Titan bristled and would have launched himself at King if a couple of his cronies hadn’t held him back.

King crossed his arms in front of his chest, popping one hip. “You want to bring it, Titan? Show me in your car, not your fists.”

Titan brushed his cronies off and straightened his clothes. “One day, King, you’ll lose your crown just like that loser Steve Harrington.”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say as King grabbed Titan’s shirt and hauled him until their faces were close together. Eddie wasn’t even sure he saw King grab the other guy it was that fast.

“You can’t even insult me without bringing someone else into your shit,” King snarled. “Put up or shut up.” Then he pushed Titan away from him and turned on his heel, striding away from the crowd and to the car he would be racing.

Eddie licked his lips. He wasn’t a car guy, sure he knew his way around an engine but he couldn’t tell you the difference between a Mustang and a Camero. But the car King got into was a sleek black thing that light seemed to bend around. Fuck, Eddie wouldn’t mind taking that baby out for a little spin. It certainly got his engine running.

King rolled up to the starting line, Titan and Cruise pulling along side him. One of the Pink Ladies held a white handkerchief in the air as the rest of the Dragsters made bets on who would win the opening race.

The engines revved as the crowd cheered. The flag went down and they were off the line, muscling for rank.

There was a clear winner, as King edged out ahead and stayed there as Cruise and Titan fought hard for second place.

And in a move that had Eddie cackling so hard he fell out of his van, was Titan coming in second. Cruise got out of her car and cursing threw her hat on the ground, fists clenched in rage.

Whatever King had said to her before the race had gotten into her head and caused her to lose the race. It was glorious to watch. King liked to pull that shit. He’d whisper something in his opponent’s ear and he would get into their head. King always won those races.

The night continued as normal, Eddie doling out the drugs and charging two to three times his normal rates to really rake it in. When someone would complain, Eddie would call it the party tax. It wasn’t his fault they were too stupid to buy during the week, they got what they got and if they kept complaining he would stop selling at these little races and woo-boy wouldn’t that upset the masses.

They would pay the cost and then make sure to pre-buy during the week. Only if they were assholes and skinflints. There weren’t many, but there were a few. Titan was one of these. Eddie had figured out the names of the pre-buyers and their little personas so he could make sure and change them even more when they came crawling to him to get another hit when they blew through the stash they had.

But for Titan, or Tommy Hagan? He would quadruple his prices to at least put a dent in the money Daddy gave him for suping up his car. Because even though Titan never won against King, against almost anyone else, that decked out Mustang of his was not street legal in any sense of the phrase.

Finally he sold his last baggie of weed and forced to close up shop. He checked the crowd and counted numbers, satisfied that everyone was boozing and drugging it up, he stowed the cash in his hiding spot in his steering column and then grabbed a beer.

Eddie raised it to signal that he had closed shop and after this beer he was going home. It was a safety measure to make sure he didn’t get jumped for the cash. If everyone saw him leave then there would be no one to jump him.

He felt a prickling on the back of his neck like someone was watching him. He turned around, but the only person behind him was King sprawled out on the hood of his car and it was hard to tell where his eyes were with those ridiculous shades.

King must have caught him staring because he suddenly smirked and jumped to his feet. Eddie gulped as King made his way over.

“You enjoying the show, Munson?” King asked, licking the top row of his teeth slowly.

“Not much of sports fan of any stripe, Your Majesty,” Eddie said with a dramatic bow, “racing included. I’m here to make money and nothing else. I prefer parties because at least I don’t freeze my ass off, even if the music is better.”

King raised his eyebrow. “It’s too late for your ass, dude. It’s a lost cause.”

“Well not all of us are born your assets,” Eddie said with dimpled smile. “I would rather not lose the rest of mine.”

King burst out laughing. “You’re something else.” He shook his head and walked over to one of the Pink Ladies to flirt with her.

Eddie shook his head and drank his beer, suddenly in a hurry to leave. Because there was no way King was flirting with him, right?

Because there was no world in which any of these rich toffs where interested in him for anything that what he sold them.

Okay, so King never bought from him and as far as he knew, whoever the guy was during the week, didn’t either. So it was possible that whoever he was might be interested in a handjob or a blowjob in the back of his van.

King’s laugh, pulled him out of his thoughts and Eddie looked over. King was leading the girl back to his car. He shook his head. There was no way King was interested in that with him either.

Eddie got into his van and drove off, grateful that the races weren’t every weekend so he wouldn’t have to deal with King more than he had to.

But the fact that King had caught him looking and instead of beating the shit out of him for it, it really felt like he had been flirted with.

Which even if he was interested, there was no way that a have would mix with a have-not. It just didn’t happen outside of movies and books.

But that smirk followed Eddie all the way home.

~

Tag List: TEN SLOTS OPEN

1- @itsall-taken @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @irregular-child @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[theoutcastrogue]

That would be a brilliant trajectory for Cassian's arc, and would make for a great story. But another terrible trajectory has been hinted, and it's not about luck running out, it's about mystical bullshit (he's Special! he has a Purpose! the Force sensed it!) and ugh, not again chosen ones with preordained destinies, please.

Rogue One was an okay film as a prequel (not worth it as a standalone, but of course that's not what it was for), and the really good part of it was the ending, and what made the ending really good was the dramatic irony: we, the audience, know very well the results of the protagonists' actions. They save the galaxy, or at least allow for the galaxy to be saved. But they do NOT know. They go to their deaths without having the slightest idea if the plan they gave their lives for will work out in the end, or if their sacrifice was for nothing. They literally transmit the schematics without knowing for sure if someone's out there, and spend their last moments looking at the sky and hoping.

And that's the point. We never know. We can and indeed should try to predict possible outcomes as best we can, and adjust actions accordingly, but many things are beyond our sight, and most things are beyond our control, and the future is unwritten. So we do what we can, and hope.

If the schematics had been intercepted (entirely plausible because there was a whole-ass space battle out there, it was bad), it would have been for nothing, from a practical standpoint. But that wouldn't make it wrong: ZERO shit gets done if we expect guarantees before doing anything, and presentism is a terrible way to measure the worth of past actions. So all the drama and moral weight (or heroism, if you insist) of Cassian's actions in Rogue One lies in the uncertainty. In not knowing for sure if this is the right path or what will come of it, and doing it anyway, to the bitter end. A Cassian who believes that this will magically work, or this is what he was "meant" to do all along, is a very different and much less interesting character, and his story has a lot less to tell us about our own and decidedly Force-less world.

Andor has been really good so far, orders of magnitude better than Rogue One, or any Star Wars film for that matter. (I have minor issues with the writers' ignorance or perhaps indifference re: urban warfare and such, but eh.). Cassian is a realistic and compelling rebel, with all the ups and downs, rights and wrongs, truths and lies, passions and doubts this should entail. And I think it would be a terrible letdown if they switch the gist of the character from "real everyday person, trying his best, and surviving all this time thanks to his comrades, his own grit, and sheer dumb luck" to "Special person mystically endowed by the universe with an important Purpose, and once said Purpose is fulfilled (in Rogue One) he will be allowed and indeed predestined to bravely die".

I sincerely hope that's not what they're doing. I hope the scene with the healer is just an awkward attempt to include the Force in the narrative, and won't become a whole THING, and will absolutely not affect Cassian's choices in the future. Because that will not only cheapen Andor, it will also ruin Cassian's role in Rogue One.

cassian "the only special thing about me is luck, and i've overplayed my hand already" andor getting out of every impossible situation he's ever been in and finally running out of luck on scarif. i need a minute.

[tornadoxp]

Look Outside Curse Swap AU: AKA how I lost my god damn mind and didn't sleep for 24+ hours

Brace Yourselves

okay so a few days ago I had this idea were Sam after the Flawed Ritual Ending gained the ability to "condense" himself into a human form like Leigh.

I thought this was just going to be a cute idea that I may or may not post or do anything with. However, as I was going to bed my brain decided to flashbang me with this the second I was one foot into LaLa land.

Suddenly a fucking chain reaction happened in my brain where I tried to wrestle with the implications of Leigh as the protagonist and Sam as a shapeshifting monster that can be recruited. Not to mention the other major characters like who can easily trade places and who should remain the same and how being cursed or not cursed changes they're character, quest or role in story or gameplay.

Ultimately, I find this au would more interesting if it's just exploring how cursed characters and non-cursed characters would change if they weren't or were. Thus, any role switching that happens would be more based on the characters fitting different niches instead of being arbitrary personality swaps.

here's what I got so far with the characters that ended up directly trading places.

Leigh the Shopkeep <--> Sam the Timid Beast

A lot of people head cannon Leigh as someone who was frustrated with her job myself included. She would probably see the 15-days as a vacation she was woefully unprepared for and needing to go out to scavenge.

The chase encounter would be significantly easier as the beast would be fighting to regain control and can be easily scared off with a single molotov.

Immediately after this Leigh rediscovers her thrill-seeking side and chases after it only to be disappointed that the monster is replaced with some weird looking guy.

She eventually recruits Sam with the hopes of toughing him up so he could give her a real fight in the future. It also helps that she has a consol considering how Sam broke his and everything in his apartment during his transformation.

I'm not really sure how Leigh would work as a player character.

Sam on the other hand as an ally would have two forms. In his human form he would have support focused abilities but due to this ungainly form would have dogshit weapon aim and crit chance. In his cursed form he would be similar to Leighs cursed form in the base game I just haven't thought of any differences.

If Sam is left behind in the apartment, he would passively recruit ally's while Leigh's away for better or for worse.

Joel the Little Slugger <--> Sophie the Tangled Child

also Clint <--> Harriet

I am not happy with this drawling of human Joel.

Anyway, Joel would randomly knock on Leigh's door saying he was separated from his family in the parking garage after they tried to leave for a game before they knew what was happening. This also means that Clint would also be a door encounter asking if Leigh has seen his son.

However, Clint can also become cursed like Harriet in the original game and lure Joel out. Leigh would have to physically stop Joel from approaching or else Clint would eat Joel alive... yeah.

as an ally Joel would be a ranged biased fighter, pitching and batting baseballs at far enemies. He can retrieve the baseballs he uses and find more but only after combat.

Joels baseball theme is based on the hat in his bedroom and literally nothing else. The only sport he mentions that I can recall is football, but I don't think an 8 year old is going to be doing much ramming into a giant creature. It would be really funny if he still bites people, probably in a character interaction.

Sophie on the other hand is not going to have a good time.

a few days in Sophies and Harriet apartment would be broken open revealing that the interior is tangled with hair. Any furniture that is still visible is crushed beneath the tight wraps. You could find Sophie in her room hiding. What happened was Harriet accidently looked outside and became cursed. While struggling to maintain her sanity she ended up attacking Sophie and infecting her with the curse.

You could fight Harriet in the master bedroom which would be a tough fight because of her ability to constrict. Or you could bring Sophie with you and upon seeing her Harriet would briefly be brought to her senses and sorrowful for what she did lean down so she could be put down. If refused she would push everyone out of the apartment and seal the entrance.

As an ally Sophie would still be focused on applying debuffs on enemy's this time though she doesn't need to hide and has a skill that can apply constrict.

Sophies personality would differ greatly. She would still pull pranks on other characters like tying doors shut and placing tripwires to knock over things when people pass. But she would be significantly more withdrawn with most of her interactions being completely silent. Unlike Joel she doesn't use denial to cope so she is completely aware of the fact that she would probably never see her mother again.

Jesus I have been yapping for a while, so I'll just briefly go over the direct role swaps I'll probably talk about later.

Hellen the Gardener <--> Papaineu the Giant

Nestor <--> Rafta

Jasper <--> Sybil, this one is going to be painful

Astronomers <--> Artists

[nitewrighter]

Witnessing all the suffering caused by the current administration, I’m ashamed to admit it’s affected me on a mental level in the stupidest way- i’m now ethically opposed to some of my favorite fictional heroes.

Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, sailor moon, Steven universe, avatar aang and many others- I’ll always love these characters, but i can no longer believe in their ideals.

Sparing even the worst people, believing everyone deserves a second chance seems noble- in fiction. But in reality, when giving horrible people more and more chances just leads to them doing even more horrific crimes, and real innocent people suffer for it, I can’t stand by that idea.

An alternate Superman killing an evil president was viewed as him going too far. After everything that’s happened, if i had godlike powers, burning him alive would be the first thing i did. I’d even mock him by saying “you’re fired!!”

I’d turn the jan 6 crowd into a tornado of blood and guts.

I’d punch his russian buddy’s heart out of his chest like in mortal combat.

And the muskrat? I’d just lift him a thousand feet in the air and let him drop.

It’s very sobering to realize if i had power I could never be Superman- i’d be the Spectre

I--okay, friend, you're kind of going full Chūnibyō on me right now. I kind of wish you like.. read this ask aloud to yourself before you sent me this and asked yourself, "Does this represent me well?" Because even on anon this is like... yikes. But also you are on anon, so I don't know your story, I don't know how old you are, when was the last time you ate, drank water, slept, showered, etc., so I'm not gonna pass judgment. This was clearly written from a place of frustration, and like, lord knows I've had my share of violent fantasies against an unjust world (mine usually involve me having a sword) so again, not passing judgment.

Superheroes were never meant to be praxis. They're fiction. They're fantasy. Superheroes are the fantasy of "What if power was used to do good" or they're studies in the different forms power can take. Power of hope, power of fear, power of creativity and willpower, etc. But the function of fiction is also escape--We live in a world where those who have power all too often use it to punch down, so we like stories where people who have power use that power to lift others up.

But I also think you're significantly overlooking that, amid the stakes inflation of comics, the most memorable aspects of good superheroes is the contrast of small deeds against the big displays of power. Yeah we saw Superman do the 'World of Cardboard' speech and then punch Darkseid so hard it created a really cool shockwave that went 'fwoooom' and then sent Darkseid flying. But the Superman content I see on my dash over and over and over again is that one bit from All-Star Superman where Superman is comforting that suicidal teen and letting her know she's not alone. We remember that more than the big punches! Because that's something we can do! No, we can't all punch out Darkseid with a super-cool shockwave, but we can reach out to those among us who are deeply in pain and need someone to talk to.

"I can no longer believe in their ideals"

Bro, having to reconcile ideals with unfortunate realities is literally the whole point of existing in the real world. That's why fiction is fiction and reality is hell-fuck but maybe somewhere in that mess I can make someone's day a little better because Naruto taught me that the most powerful jutsu is Talk-no-jutsu. I can't save the world, but I can do the dishes. I can stop my walk and take out my airpods for a few seconds and let that small child pet my dog and smile and tell my neighbors to have a great day. The world is on fire and it is so exhausting but being able to put a little good out into the world, even in the smallest ways, is not a waste. It reassures me of the goodness and dignity shared by all humanity.

Yeah, we have horrible horrible shitty people in power, so we have to ask, "What is the most immediate thing I can do to make things better for those around me?" And maybe the most immediate thing you can do to make things better is to make things better for you--Maybe you gotta take a shower or floss your teeth and spit blood in your sink, or clean your room, or finally do that load of laundry, or get back to that school assignment which I know doesn't feel like it matters with the world on fire, but I promise you is something that can enrich you, even if it's just the satisfaction of getting your teacher's dumb busywork out of the way.

Lowkey this whole ask kind of reminds me of this one comic where Spectre!Hal Jordan shows up to the Justice League and starts ragging on all of them (for very similar reasons to yours! Where is the justice???) and at first they're all genuinely hurt and defensive but then after like 5 minutes they're like "Wait, Hal, you're like, super-fucking traumatized from basically destroying everything that made you a hero back during your Parallax Phase and then dying heroically during The Final Night event. And now you're kind of wrapped up in this Spectre thing, I think, because you're still very guilty about your whole Parallax Phase. It's easier to be Spectre and shower the world (and your friends) in WRATH rather than like...deal with how much humanity is still in you. Like literally what are you trying to accomplish here?" And then Spectre!Hal is kind of like, "Wait... shit."

This ended up very long. I guess my point is, you are 100% welcome to all of your super-powered murder fantasies--but a question I always try to ask myself when I'm in a space similar to the vibes I'm getting from your ask is "Am I letting the fire burn itself out, or am I giving it more oxygen?" And my other piece of advice in the face of all this bullshit is basically, "What can you do right now to make things better for yourself?" Maybe calling a friend and checking in, and catching up (maybe asking for help?) will do a whole lot more good for both of you, than creating a tornado of blood and guts.

[transmutationisms]

I was just reading the anti psych faq you helped write, found it really interesting. I’ve found myself with a question more about prison abolition, which I find broadly reasonable but I’m slightly sceptical of the idea that no one should experience incarceration. The two edge cases im thinking of are serial killers and counterrevolutionaries - I realise the former is an insignificant minority but it still seems to me that in the case of a repeated murderer acting from an incentive other than economic need it’s necessary to restrict their freedom in some way to prevent it continuing maybe? And obviously I think most serious communists would agree some form of repression of the bourgeoisie is necessary for the survival of a socialist state

i don't think serial killers is even a hypothetical worth entertaining tbqh. first of all it's a cop narrative you're still entertaining, second of all you're now assuming prisons even 'work', either in the sense of successfully capturing violent individuals or, and this one matters more, in the sense of eliminating violence. a prison is a site of violence, both the incarceration itself and the conditions inside it. all you've done if you do manage to incarcerate a bunch of people, no matter how violent they were or weren't, is displace violence to somewhere other people don't have to think about it anymore. running the rape factory to prevent violence.

& i fucking hate getting into the counterrevolutionaries discourse on here so i won't really

because it immediately turns into the most pigheaded possible contest between ppl who contrarily declare that any possible form of like basic social organisation is repression vs ppl who contrarily declare that if the party they like does something it's intrinsically fine (backyard surgery vs the people's cecot) & i don't think anyone actually disagrees it is necessary to suppress the bourgeoisie or that violence is part of class warfare lol but then they go round and round playing language games about what is suppression and what is an institution and how close do we want to get to just restating the fucking libertarian non-aggression principle. and this has the same problem as any prison discourse, which is that people assume incarceration like. works. for example the idea of 'reeducation camps' actually changing people's minds lol like, ok me when i think the world is high school debate club and i think high school debate club has ever changed someone's mind on anything at all. if you think certain political action or speech needs to be suppressed i don't think that's actually an unusual position at all but the trick is which and how. and nobody wants to be serious and own their position on the weeds of these questions they just want to write snappy one liners about carcerality or class character and get a few hundred notes from Blogs. in capitalist society suppression of revolutionaries occurs largely via economic mechanisms, ie the threat or imposition of poverty; the state has a monopoly on certain articulations of this violence but certainly not on others (ive said before but most freedom of speech discourse needs to be understood as a problem more likely to concern retaliation by your employer than by a shadowy governmenr agent showing up at your door). so it seems to me largely the real question is, given we ('we') broadly do agree this economic mechanism is bad & unjust & precisely the thing we are fighting against existing, what analogue are we imagining to deal with the reverse problem of counterrevolutionaries in a communist or transitional condition. & you can't just say oh limited prisons or prisons but they're really niceys or prisons but they work this time but you also can't just say everyone will run around individually like adam smith free moral agents but in agreement with me because i liberated them like you have to actually answer the question so that's tumblr done for

[lynxgriffin]

While I personally believe Kris is the knight. You did bring up a good point on how Kris lacks courage, something Kris as the roaring knight would definitely struggle to accomplish. Thats definitely a plot hole in the theory. unless Kris is being possessed by another entity, which is incredibly unlikely. I guess it’s back to the drawing board for the Roaring knight with me. : /

Oh yeah, this is indeed what I'm talking about when I say that Kris Knight doesn't feel in line with Kris's character for me! Not in the sense of "oh uwu my precious bean Kris would NEVER do a BAD thing!!!" Very obviously they're both willing and capable of doing something potentially dangerous to both themself and others, and have got some secrets they're keeping.

However, with our three main Lightner characters (and other side characters for that matter,) they've all got these big personal struggles that they are trying resolve over the course of the plot, and that the dark worlds specifically are helping to address. For Kris, those struggles are 1) a lack of autonomy, 2) a lack of courage, and 3) a sense of self-hatred. (And I'd say all three of these are linked as well, in ways we might not fully see yet!)

At least to me, having Kris be the Knight reduces or eliminates quite a few of those struggles. If they're capable of masterminding all these elements to set up dark worlds ahead of time, then how is their lack of autonomy an issue? How would we as the player be any real setback to them? If Kris's will has already dictated how each dark world's antagonists are going to act, then why would they lack courage? Why would Ralsei feel the need to encourage them towards leadership and decision-making? Wouldn't these problems already be solved? I at least find it much more interesting if Kris is still in the process of overcoming these struggles, whatever their motives are!

And yeah, I have never been big on the whole 'third entity' idea. That would just remove any scrap of agency Kris did have in this scenario, and turn them into just the rope for some game of tug-of-war between us and...someone else we don't know. It's a lot more interesting if it's Kris's own actions and decisions that we have to grapple with as the player.

But hey, in the end, we are all just speculating because we're still lacking so much information! Hopefully the next two chapters in just a couple weeks will fill in the gaps way more for this particular part of the plot!

[prapaiwife]

Charlie and babe's rift to come kinda insight lol (will be long 🫣/)

We know in the next episode that Charlie will be tested / experimented and I think it's going to cause a more rift between him and babe. Because they had made it clear that Charlie has been experimented on before who is Charlie says being used as a guinea pig for the beginning of them testing up these experiments and it seemed to have not gone anywhere Chris or Pete has said something under the lines of like his cells being too strong or nothing is being effective on him specifically. And so for babe to see Charlie being experimented on for his own eyes I think it's going to make him feel very uneasy about the whole thing. And we also know that this is going to be a problem because of the time that Charlie will put into being in the lab compared to the time he would make for babe. And babe he already has this very sarcastic agitated attitude about it. Like in the first episode when Charlie was explaining to him again but why he's even doing this he cut Charlie off and was like I know I know kind of attitude about it. And in the second episode he mentioned how he's always cooped up basically in the lab even asking when is it going to be done clearly not really caring to ask Charlie about the process like actually taking the time to understand it cuz after all this won't be done overnight it's going to be a process.

And honestly if anything I think babe is literally just supporting this whole idea of the skill dissolving drug because he sees Charlie is so passionate about it. And he does want to look like a bad boyfriend for not supporting his boyfriend is something that he wants even if he knows she's down he doesn't agree and the argument I will come from this because he knows Charlie won't back down and so he tries to keep it. Because if it was up to him he wouldn't have Charlie go through with this. Babe doesn't know what can happen from this he doesn't want to lose Charlie again and for real this time. And I think he's going to stress that to Charlie once he sees him in that chair being experimented on. And I think Charlie's going to have to constantly assure him but it's okay and that he's going to be okay. And again I think Charlie's going to make it clear that he's not doing this just to be doing this. He has a goal he wants this drug to work so anyone that is in their position can actually have a choice with what they want to do with their lives. They didn't have a choice back then they were forced to live with this and then exploited for it. So if they can get that through to people now then yeah Charlie would be on board about it. And most importantly this is for babe everything he does is for babe even if babe doesn't think it's for him it's for him. Cause Charlie would do anything to make sure that the world that they're living in that is so unsafe can be safe for him. But babe may even question Charlie's relationship with him from this. Like is he selfish for not wanting Charlie to not be experimented on anymore to potentially die. Or is Charlie being selfish and too selfless to not think about babe's feelings in this matter.

Because I feel like either way you look at it you can argue on both sides. The only thing you can't argue about is that they both want each other safe and protected and they are doing it and going about it in their own ways. It's just a thing for babe stressing how much she loves Charlie and everything he went through how it traumatized him I think he would want Charlie to understand him from that instead of just willingly again ready to sacrifice himself or something that he doesn't even know is going to work. All babe wants is Charlie even with the Willy nonsense going on babe's love for Charlie never falters. And Charlie's love for babe never falters. Like for sure they do have moments where they don't like each other or have certain things about each other's personality that comes out more so other conversations that irks the other one more. And they don't communicate every emotion openly and I think that a lot of that stems from them assuming / knowing each other's reaction will be.

Like again they know each other well babe and Charlie they mentioned it. And so when they have this distance rift in their relationship I'm very excited and nervous to see it. I think it's going to be some of the most emotional charging scenes especially for pooh!! I can't wait. As Charlie is my favorite character I really have her face to eat on Charlie as a character and his emotions the little things in the subtext he says and his body language. And I think within the first two episodes we're already getting a good glimpse into more of his personality. Whether that's his frustration his anger, his very little to none patience now. And his scaredness and especially his bravery

We have not seen Charlie cry at all the first season. So in this season I'm very excited they mention that Charlie has some crying scenes later in the show. And I think for a multitude of things that will be. Especially cause it will be interesting to see him breaking down especially if it's in front of babe. Cuz babe hasn't seen Charlie ever really shut down emotionally. I think it would really make babe hurt a lot it would be very eye-opening moment I think for him to see Charlie who is always so strong and seemingly always okay is not okay. When he tries to be for everyone else especially for babe.

[brian-kinney-apologist]

What are your thoughts on s5? And on Michael?

well here we go I guess, my big hater moment has come 😈

(this is going to be a very long post, buckle up everyone)

personally I didn't like s5 because the writers did dirty EVERYONE:

I hated how they massacred ted's personal growth, he was at his lowest in s3 and he managed to overcome the obstacles in s4 and finally gained some healthy self-esteem. his s5 plot line was AWFUL, in what world was ted (and scott!!!) old or bold or fat (the last one especially never made sense to me bc he literally looked the same as in the previous seasons?????? like they didn'teven try??? (and the excuse of well ted hated himself so he saw himself worse doesn't work bc we dealt with this issue in s4!!!!!!))

I was annoyed with watching melanie and lindsay constantly fighting by the end of s4 but somehow they overdid themselves in s5. like we already had them breaking up over cheating and sharing a child in season fucking one, why are we doing yhis again??Plus this is s4 related but picking michael as the father of their future child was the stupidest idea EVER because mel and linds had a fit every other time when brian tried to be here for gus and they for real thought michael (and debbie) would just idk hang out with the kid once a year or what??? and yes I know the writers wanted to talk about the guy divorce™️ but once again: already happened in s1

and speaking of michael and ben, I really liked their final moments with hunter and I definitely teared up when they asked him to be their son 💔, HOWEVER see the previous point. the fighting over the baby that was never supposed to be theirs was INSANE. I hated them both during this time sooo much

now let's talk about brian and justin.

justin and randy did not deserve s5 writing. it was so painfully obvious that they simply didn't know what to do with him. imo s5 should've focused more on justin trying to figure out who he was and what he wanted from life. he went through a lot for someone in their early 20s. he had so many job opportunities too and now he was back to square one. I think that should've been their main disagreement with brian in s5 too: brian hovering over him and justin refusing to go in the direction brian wanted him to. maybe by the end of the season justin could've decided to go back to pifa for his own personal reasons, not because of brian. or we could've watch him fail a couple times because barely anyone becomes super successful when they're young and just an ordinary person. that's another reason why the ending of s5 looked super unserious to me: justin going to new york because of 1 (one) article from some random guy...........bffr rn 🙄 + this ending was literally s4 ending in a different font. moreover, justin wanting a child as a 21/22 gay man here and now was literally so funny, like this would work for a female character of that age because women are conditioned by society to want children/family from a young age. men on the other hand.......

now about brian: imo the whole s5 plot line of him fucking other guys happened only because in s4 brian had cancer and thus wasn't fucking that many people on screen, thus they just came up with the most random idea of why suddenly will fuck a million guys per episode again to bring back the viewers. imo this change of behaviour was similar to ted's where they just started to write as if these were the characters from s1, not s4/5. AND if they wanted to have some conflict between brian and justin so they'd have their big reunion after the bombing, there was a plenty of reasons to make them have a fight about something new. it was tiring to see them breaking up for the 3689044th time for the same fucking reason. like come on, it's a tv show, write something new. imo they could've made them argue about something else and justin be like I'll go sleep at daphne's tonight or something and then have the I love you scene with the same reactions from the audience

(forgot to mention how everyone tried to insert themselves into britin's relationship as if they had any say in it 🙄)

overall, I think that the main issue with s5 was that it was too repetitive, the writers clearly didn't know how to wrap up the show

now let's talk about michael. I understand why some people may like him but he's not my favourite. I don't hate him overall but he has his moments. I think his best scenes in the show were with ben and hunter, I really liked them together (also when he was hanging out with the gang™️). however I do find him annoying at times and I will never understand his crush on brian because you are a grown man, STAND UP. I understand that it was the premises of the show but it became concerning very soon. maybe i just look from a perspective of a person who walks away from any type of relationships the second anyone looks bad at me and I just can't imagine loving someone who dgaf about you (in a romantic way) for 15+ years....... also michael beefing with a literal teenager was something else 😭 like wishing death upon justin was INSANE, the craziest thing anyone has said on this show. michael didn't even know the depth of britin's relationship and dared to insert himself in it????......also brian having to apologise every single time even when michael was the wrong one pissed me off so bad. like in s5 when brian tried to end their fight and michael made it even worse...... I also dislike how michael never faced any consequences for his actions just once (jutin was an icon for snapping back at him lol), considering the fact that brian was blamed for everything all the fucking time for no reason but whatever I guess

I think I'll end this here because this post is already too long 😅