#so i had to take a break before reading another book hahah

[runninguplenorahills]

@aemiron-main ‘s post about how Mike thinks that he himself is the problem has altered my brain chemistry so much that I am unable to see anything from another perspective anymore…

[ad-hawkeye]

hello, star anon here! life was kind and gave me a bit of a break so i finally finished my wip. i'm not apparently allowed to embed any links in the ask box, but it's up on ao3 with the title, "How Long Will I Love You? As Long as Stars are Above You (Longer if I Can)". i tried very hard to capture the game's style and artem's manner of speaking, but i deviated a bit from the former. still, i hope all the artem stans enjoy 😅 -🌟

HI. HI. HI. HELLO, HI! AAAAA THIS LITERALLY MADE MY FRIDAY NIGHT I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. OOOOH MY GOD OKAY, i am so sorry for being a day or so late, i purposely set this fic aside as a selfish reward for when i was off work and could get a nice drink to read it with and holy SHIT am i getting this whole thing tattooed to my forehead HAHAH

i am not exaggerating in the slightest when i say this fic literally made me feel Lighter. i also had to comment on all of it (that is all below i have so many thoughts and love and only good things to say) and i will be dropping a comment on ao3 itself very soon hehe

for anyone interested, the fic is here! it's a rewrite of artem's second anniversary card + eventual proposal! full recommendation to any artem stan out there. READ THIS! NOW!

without further ado... my screaming.

the bouquet toss is hilariously adorable i LOVE it!!! celestine fucking BOOKING that thing at him HAHAH

im insanely impressed at how well this fic manages to take what was in the second anniversary card (celestine talking to mc about marriage, the toss, the ride home in the taxi, etc) and just. wow. improve it. i feel like this is such a breath of fresh air

mc saying she wants to wait until she at least passes her exam and avoid claims of nepotism, yes ma’am!!!!!!!!!!! this would be such a dream scenario if it happened in tot omg. the reason why artem’s second bday card was a liiittle disappointing to me was because they brought up the issue of possible rumors and scandals with their relationship. and then just. never resolve it. then have them get ENGAGED a card later!! i wish hoyo wasn’t afraid to address this, your fic is the perf solution imo and another reason why i wished we got a later artemrosa proposal

THE MENTION OF MC NOT BEING READY TO HAVE DINNER WITH ARTEM’S PARENTS AHAHA OMG I LOVE IT!! deliciously petty in calling out the contradictory writing in artem's cards bless you for that

MENTION OF NEIL. oh my GOD i feel like 90% of artem’s cards just forget about this man’s existence and it’s a shame! you did him justice!!! i want him to talk to mc again and see all that’s happened ;_;

THE BAD GUY DUH JOKE REFERENCE SHUT UP HAHAHA personal story 3 was literally artem at his most iconic and i MEAN this

about time…. im gonna sob, like literally. dude this fic is literally healing me as i read it, it’s like a love letter to all of artem’s cards, stories, and events. and . AA

THEM JOKING ABOUT THE AMUSEMENT PARK MAKE OUT SESSION PLEASE THAT’S SO FUNNY

the whole conversation with celestine and artem about proposing is my favorite thing ever. in the second anni card, i thought artem was so oddly cold to her (which goes against previous cards and reads like someone seeing artem’s ‘stop teasing me now’ act back in the early timeline as genuinely mean disinterest????) so this is like. healing. crops watered. “thank you for being my friend” is going to make me sob holy shit.

random but i adore the idea of artem w a therapist. he seems like a guy who’d benefit from that. i say this with love.

HELP HIM TALKING TO HIS FISH. FAV

god the scene with his mother :(((( AAAA the apology and and and and ;_;

keeping the one good thing from the second anniversary card: artem avoiding mc's gaze for weeks before proposing. excellent. thank you

gasp. THE ORCHARD. YOU GENIUS. HOW DID I NOT EVEN THINK OF THAT. THEY NEVER DID RETURN TO THE ORCHARD IN CANON DID THEY.

god this proposal got me sniffling.. the about time reference… the mention of being partners….. dude i’m gonna sob ;_; literally this is the timeline i wish we got, im just gonna be on hardcore copium and accept this as my canon proposal. okay? okay.

PRACTICE FOR SIGNING THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE MC YES

mc yanking artem too hard and him yelping is making me shit that’s the funniest thing i’ve read all week LMAO

HELP THE LIFTING BEING LEARNED FROM AN ONLINE ARTICLE. YOU GET IT!!! YOU UNDERSTAND HIM!!

oh my gosh this whole end section is so wehhh ;_;;;; sweet and in character and with just the right amount of steam and ambiguity! ;p

CELESTINE GIVING THEM BOTH OFF HAHAHA THE PERFECT END

oh my god ok. if this didn't let you know how much i thoroughly enjoyed myself, let me state it here now. thank you SO much for linking this to me!!! oh my god i feel so free?????? EVERYONE READ THIS NOW

[heartsoftruth]

Tell us how was your experience for the first few days in Monaco 😍😍. Did you encounter any drivers 😜

OMGGGGG. It's been DAYS already since I'm back (and I had a HUGE post GP dip), but Monaco, Monaco, MONACOOOOO!!! J'taime ♥️ Truly what an amazing GP to go to. I actually went to Monaco every day for the entire week that I've been in France/MON haha. When I arrived on Tuesday I was kinda bumped, because I booked my tickets to arrive on that day for that ANNUAL charity football match. Of F1 drivers vs whatever. There was already some rumors it might be cancelled, but nothing 100% confirmed. And Monaco is very old skool: so you could (and can) only buy tickets at the stadium ahha. But when I landed I read from someone on Twitter: I just called the stadium and it's cancelled this year. So that was the start of my MON trip... As you can imagine I went 🥺🥺😞. I'm very superstitious; so I was only hoping this bad start isn't an omen for the rest of the trip... I still went to MON (since I already bought a train ticket) and I have to say it was great. The pitlane was open and I could see the teams building/preparing the garages. I went for a walk ON the track: next to the swimming pool, grandstand T etc etc. Then went back to the pitlane again and saw the RB being unloaded. As I was traveling solo for the first time I put my independent woman pants on and went to a restaurant and asked for a table for one. Sat there, purposely not too much on my phone, but enjoying the view and where I was and it was actually ok? Like the idea of eating alone and even more: in a restaurant/terrace makes me anxious even now when I've done it. But it was all ok haha. Then after I went to take a look in the pits again haha. And ended up walking on the pit straight to the train station. And while I was walking all of a sudden thinking: wow damn these are the pitboxes haha. This is the start and finish, this is the breaking point, here we almost are at St Devote haha. I've never been to a street circuit so I don't know if thats normal, but to me it's mindblowing that every day (even after actual F1-sessions) the track opened up. I had a moment where I was walking on the straight (very close to the fence, bc I didn't want to get hit of course HAHAH) and thought 🤯🤯🤯 this is actually insane gurl.

Wednesday I had planned to explore Nice, but I bought new iPhone ears and thought: I need to go to MON HAHHAHA. So I bought another ticket and just went back there. Picked up my F1experience ticket (was helped by someone who - with all due respect - wasn't the brightest but after 2 colleagues came she finally understood my problem). This time I wanted to go more towards the harbor area of the city and it was just... 🤯🤯🤯 I mean... The photo down here doesn't do it justice but: wow! So pretty. I sat there with my water and just enjoyed this view. I truly was thinking: I can understand how little Lewis came here to have a sleepover with Nico and went: One day I'm going to live here. I walked a bit further and these 'little boats' are NOTHING compared to the yachts that were laying there hahah. I felt I was being called poor in 43943 languages hahaha. But it was great to see. I didn't stay too long and went back to sit with the 'little' boats again before I head off on my way to find something to eat. It was then I saw something red on a bike and I went: 🤔🤔👀. It was Ollie! I wasn't planning on saying anything, but he had to stop for the stripes (no idea what's the word in English) and then looked towards me. So I went: Good luck this weekend! 🥰 And since he was so sweet in his reply, so I asked if I could take a piccie and he said of course, but had to get off the road haha. So I was very happy with that as I find him an adorable and talented kiddo and I missed him in Zandvoort last year. Walked past Daddy Norris (who was in - what seemed to be - a very serious convo) and Angela light/2.0 (as I call the guy who is with Lewis now on the grid) walked past several times as well haha.

Ended up with a lovely dinner for 1 and then I ended up taking a peek in the pit again and walking on the straight back to the train station haha. Went back home in time because I knew on Thursday it would truly start!

[stitchedfeather]

"So— so what do you mean, you didn't like Resident evil 4?"

"...I—I, it was kinda to hard, I—"

"Just shut your mouth, and enjoy the best game ever made..."

Sat on a couch at the Agori tree base, was two young adults that decided the best time to spend their time that wasn't ruthless binge eating or missions was one thing; playing video games and wasting their precious time. Instead of reading a Dr Seuss book compatible to Ravens reading comprehension, the ghoul decided to drag Seidou with her as well.

So the two sat playing a video game—or close to it, as the two argued and bitched at one another as they played.

"Stop — FUCKING WITH MY PYSCHE—!"

Takizawa screamed as Raven lounged against the couch with a thinned lip expression, sniffing. The man's black nailed thumbs clicked and pressed against the controllers, quick tapping heard as he practically strangled the poor device. Leon Kennedy suddenly went flying out a window on the screen, glitching into the ground before clipping out of the map. The two practically finding anyway to insult each other, they almost had a sibling relationship.

"Dude, wha—"

"Are They zombies—?" Seidou asked squinting, his brows furrowed together as he tried to find the will to live in this moment.

"No! There are no zombies in this game!"

"What— its Resident Evil dude..."

"There's no zombies in Resident evil 4..."

Raven hissed, leaning forward as if trying to educate the man on the basis of video games or pop culture. It was no use, watching Seidou constantly finding something to pick apart the logic of the said fantasyland of Resident Evil 4 (Spain.)

A loud explosion was heard off the screen, before a howl came from Takizawa as his eyes widened almost in horror ( that a psychotic ghoul could probably muster ) as he yelled at the scream.

"WHAT THE FUUUUCK—?!" He screeched as Leon walked over a crow laid trip wire, watching his flip backwards on the screen. Raven of course followed suit, watching Seidou absolutely fucking suck at this. It was amazing just how dog shit he was at games.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING—?!"

"The hell was that—?" Seidou hissed as Raven squinted at the screen and nonchalantly educated him.

"That was uh—dynamite tripwire." She hummed as Seidou rubbed the bridge of his nose with an exhale.

"How do...crows know how to lay grenades-?"

"Don't fucking try to break the immersive world of Resident Evil, alright?"

"Well this mission isn't going well—! I'm almost out of ammo, I'm almost dead—"

"You have plenty of ammo—!"

"Well I'm almost dead!"

"Yeah well...you're the one behind the controls douche face."

Raven shrugged, snatching the controller out of his hands and showing him how a pro does it. She leaned back, her other hand snatching into a bag of chips and shoving it sloppily into her mouth with loud chewing.

"Now that you're done sitting here with your dick in your hand, lemme show you how I get the ladies."

She smirked, eyes never leaving the screen as her thumbs were quick on the controller, already pushing through the storyline as Seidou slowly turned to glare at her.

"...YOU ARE SUCH A DISGUSTING LITTLE FREAK SOMETIMES."

"I hope next time you ever decide to fuck someone, they stomp your nuts into the ground."

"Next time I decide to go on a mission, I'm going to take you and put you on a wire line like a pick."

"You're just mad because your talents at video games suck ass. Too bad the Academy couldn't teach you how to be a baller and fuck."

"What are you even talking about."

"I'm saying you don't have bitches, dude."

"That's American slang isn't it—NEVERMIND, I get it..." he snarled as Raven cackled almost evilly, a wild look in her eyes as she smirked wolfishly at Takizawa who wasn't phased in the slightest.

"Hahah—! Too bad reading all those books couldn't get you laid—! Hahah!"

"Shut up..."

"Seidou the virgin."

"WILL YOU SHUT UP THATS NOT EVEN TRUE—"

"Hey Seidou, does it itch down there?"

A chair was thrown at Ravens face, ending their game session as 30 minutes later, the two were being pulled apart like two rabid chihuahuas.

[starlight-loki]

hmmm... hc for loki meeting the avengers, and reader is one of them, and he is really interested in her/falls in love sorta thing? hehehehe

ooOOH YES also in this, Infinity War doesn’t exist, in case you’re wondering why events seem to take a weird turn after I mention Ragnarok hahah

I feel like you and Loki would first meet during the New York events in 2012

To be honest, you sort of scared Loki the first time he saw you

You were on guard duty while he was in his cell on the quinjet, and while the two of you barely spoke to one another, he was haunted by your eyes

he was used to everyone else looking right through him as though he weren’t even there in the first place

but you looked into him

and that really freaked him out, to the point where even after Thor brought him back to Asgard after the whole New York Battle disaster, he still couldn’t get you off his mind

there were even some nights in that cell in Asgard where he’d dream of you and wake up with chills, your gaze still burned fresh in his mind

having to help Thor and Jane escape to Svartalfheim wouldn’t have helped either, because each time Loki looked at Jane, the following would run through his mind:

Jane = Midgardian = Midgard = You

literally everything Loki saw seemed to somehow connect back to you, to those moments the two of you locked eyes on the quinjet

despite how often you were on his mind, I don’t think he’d connect the dots and realize his feelings were romantic attachment just yet? 

like it would be a long while before he even considered the thought

for a while, you were just a shadow that relentlessly followed him everywhere, and to be honest, Loki came to despise you for that

his thoughts would be that much more peaceful if you’d just leave once and for all from the space you were taking in his mind

the whole Odin-disguise and events on Sakaar would be a welcome distraction though, since everything was so chaotic that Loki never really had the time to think about you

to his relief, you were almost nothing more than a ghost of a memory

almost

(there was still the occasional night when he’d wake up in a cold sweat, having seen you in a dream once more) 

as soon as Thor suggested Midgard as the location for New Asgard, and also mentioned paying The Avengers a visit, Loki’s heart stopped 

he never thought it would happen again, but he’d actually be seeing you again

a part of him wished that perhaps you left Stark’s stupid group of clowns heroes, because then he could finally have some closure and get you out of his mind once and for all

but sure enough, you were actually one of the first ones to greet everyone as they arrived

Loki’s eyes met yours, and he felt as though he were living a déja vu moment -- the intensity of your gaze after all these years never changed

you still looked into him, your gaze like fire

“I’m really sorry to hear about Asgard. You must be so tired, after everything you’ve been through.”

Loki’s not sure how you did it, but you managed to break the walls around his heart with that one damn sentence

(maybe you’re a sorcerer of some sort, but magic couldn’t have done anything like this) 

the realization comes quickly, and it hits him hard:

he was never afraid of you, he was afraid of himself. 

more specifically, how he felt about you. 

he’d open up to you much quicker than any of the others, but he’d never have the heart to tell you that he’s never forgotten you after all these years

when it came to finally admitting his feelings for you, Loki wouldn’t straight up tell you he loves you

instead, he’d show it -- subtly at first, by holding the door open for you, remembering exactly how you take your tea/coffee, leaving books on your door to read, with a little note in them for why he felt you’d like it

the longer you spend time with each other, the more physically intimate he’d become with you: resting his hand on the small of your back whenever you stood near him, nudging his hand against yours as you walked, brushing stray strands of hair out of your face

it’s when you kiss his cheek, more as a gesture of gratitude than anything, that Loki realizes just how big of a space you hold in his heart

your gaze, as you observe his reaction with a faint amused smile, nearly makes him weak at the knees

Loki operates more out of instinct than calculated logic, for the first time in the longest while, and pulls you close by wrapping an arm around your waist

he kisses you then, soft and slow yet somehow painfully urgent at the same time

(most likely an attempt to make up for all the years where you weren’t physically there in his life, but constantly in his mind) 

needless to say, the two of you were inseparable from then on 💗

[biggest-stupidhead]

Hello, can I request one where Levi's fem s/o pranks him with the "hickey prank"? Can you make it SFW please? Thank you so much 💓

HAHAH please this is so cute I love it. 

Summary: Levi comes back from a long business trip and is surprised by his girlfriend. And not in a good way. 

Word Count: 1K

__

Levi rolled his head from side to side as he sat stiffly in the car. It had been a long week of watching conferences and going through stupid extra training for his company. He was more than ready to get home and reunite with you, have some tea and lay down on the couch with his head in your lap as you read that stupid book you liked. It sounded like absolute bliss, he shot a glance at Erwin who was driving like a grandma, they were so close to the office yet so very far with the way that Erwin was driving. 

“-And I mean how am I supposed to know when Moblit is tired? It’s not like he ever looks like he is.” Hange was rambling about how most of the HR issues were seemingly geared towards her. Something that had not surprised Levi, due to the way she overworked the employees under her department. 

“That’s the whole point Hange, you have to give them regular breaks, if you don’t-” Levi tuned out the pair as they began to argue, it normally amused him, but at this moment all he could think about was you. 

__

You were sitting at the kitchen counter, having already made and eaten dinner, you were now just waiting on Levi. Your phone rang and you smiled when you saw Connie’s name lighting up the screen. 

“Whats up Connie?” You asked as you leaned back on the stool. 

“Nothing much, I just wanted to call and ask if you watched the tik tok I sent you earlier.” 

“No I haven’t, let me do that really quick.” you scrolled through your phone to find the video he was speaking of and watched it with furrowed brows. The girl in the video was putting makeup over her neck to make it look like a hickey, then the video cut to her boyfriend walking in and his reaction to seeing the mark. 

“You should totally do that to Levi, I want to see his reaction so badly.” Connie practically begged as you stared at the screen, deep in thought. You knew for a fact that his reaction would be golden, but you also knew that he could be insecure and this could really hurt his feelings. But he usually forgave you pretty easily, plus the mere image of the faces he would make made you want to do it even more. 

“I have some work to do then, I’ll call you later Connie.” Was all you said in response, you heard him let out an excited almost girlish squeal before you hung up the phone. You set to work, going straight to the bathroom and pulling out an old pallet of eye shadow that you never used anymore. You began to blend the colors until you created a scary realistic hickey on the side of your neck. You let out a low whistle of approval as you inspected your work, the skin was painted a deep reddish purple color. The sound of Levi’s key turning in the door made your heart beat a bit quicker in anticipation. 

“(Y/n)?” His voice came out a bit gravely and you paused, he sounded tired. But with one last glance at your hard work you knew that there was no going back. 

“Yeah baby?” Normally Levi didn’t like pet names, but you could get away with it when he was tired or when he was feeling needy. You left the bathroom, glancing at your phone, which you had placed inside a potted plant to record the events. He kicked his shoes off haphazardly and hung up his coat, walking with a bit of pep in his step to get to you. Once he reached you he placed a sweet kiss to your lips which you gladly returned. He hummed as he pulled away to kiss along your jaw, it was only a matter of- 

“What the fuck is this?” He asked, tone unnervingly dull and devoid of emotion. 

“What’s what?” You feigned innocence as you moved to step back, but Levi held you fast by the waist. His eyes narrowed as he leaned forward again, pressing his finger to the skin. 

“I asked you...what is this monstrosity on your neck?” He said, disappointment and disgust dripping from his tongue. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You continued to play innocent as Levi pressed his finger harder against your skin, you hoped that he would pull it away soon. He did, and you saw the residue of the make up on his finger, but he was too busy studying your face to notice. 

“Answer me.” his voice sounded deflated and a hair away from breaking. You hated it, the initial thrill of him being surprised and angry had worn off. It was time to call it quits. 

“It was a stupid prank, see?” you said as you rubbed your open palm along your neck and showed him the smudged makeup on your hand. His shoulders slumped and the grip on your waist loosened as he leaned in and rested his head on your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” you apologized as you wrapped your arms around him and rested your chin on his head. He grumbled a response into the side of your neck and you giggled a little, looking up at your phone and smiling at it. 

“I’ll make some tea and we can take a hot bath together, I got a new bath salt for us to try.” you offered as an apology and Levi let out another unintelligible grunt before you were able to peel him off of you. As he went to run the bath you snatched your phone from the pot and ended the video. You promised to not send it to anyone, knowing that would probably cause Levi to bust a blood vessel. So you set about making amends by preparing the tea just the way he liked it, hoping that would be enough to show that you were sorry. 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!! I was wondering if you knew of any really long fics (like 25k or more) that are only one chapter, I travel a lot sometimes and some places don't really have good enough internet for multi chapter fics. So yeah, any really long one chapter fics about John and Sherlock would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hey Nonny!!

LOL OKAY FUNNY STORY. I almost replied to this with “oof I’ll have to read EVERYTHING so I’m sorry.... and then... I remembered.......

I put chapter counts on everything 🙃😐 

I’m not the brightest crayon in the box. 🖍 

Anyway, so yes, I can definitely rec you some fics! BUT I should also offer you two suggestions you can totally do to read ANY fic!

On Ao3, you can click on the “Entire Work” button to load ALL chapters of a fic (it’s the very first button along the top) and in turn you can then just read it all there! 

And the very last button along the top, you can Download copies of the fic to your phone or computer with eBook file types (AZw3 for Kindle, ePub for iPhone’s Books app, and MOBI is for other mobile devices and e-readers), the HTML if you want to read it as-is in a web-browser, or the PDF format which is a universal file format that is supported by everything, even web browsers, so it’s a good one to download if you don’t know what format you need :) If you read on an eReader, though, I can’t recommend enough just downloading the format for your device. You get to keep a copy of the fic AND the eReader keeps it nicely formatted. It’s a BRILLIANT, BEAUTIFUL feature that Ao3 gave us, because I like downloading all my fics and read them later in iBooks. Once you start that, Nonny, you can’t do it any other way. AND at the VERY END of the fics, it links BACK to the original post so you can bookmark, kudos, and comment on it!! <3

So yeah, two options you can do to solve your poopy internet and still read long fics hee hee! <3

ANYWAY EXCUSE FOR A NEW LIST LOL. 

ALSO, side note, check out @silentauroriamthereal; a large chunk of her fics are both long AND one chapter, so it’s a good place to go and she���s a brilliant author so I don’t think you’ll be disappointed! <3 Plus a lot of her fics are on this list, so I am sorry hahah.

AND I wanted to make the list a bit longer than I had, so I picked fics over 20K, if that’s alright :) As always, if you wrote a 20k+ single chapter fic, let us know!

SINGLE CHAPTER FICS OVER 20K WORDS

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Achieving the Together-Coloured Instant by teahigh (E, 20,776 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel, PTSD, Codependency, Fluff & Angst, H/C, Smut, Demisexual Sherlock, Experiments) – John wonders if this is how it’s going to be: A life speaking in code, because they’re both too stupid to figure out how to say, “I love you.”

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson’s urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

Shallow Grave by SilentAuror (E, 31,672 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, HLV Fix It, Infidelity, Pining Sherlock, First Person POV Sherlock) – Starts as Sherlock's plane is taking off at the end of His Last Vow. When he finds out that Moriarty is alive and that he's being recalled from his mission, Sherlock decides that he should have told John how he felt before he left. So he walks off the plane and kisses him.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism || John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (E, 39,309 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Wedding, Therapy, Fluff and Angst) – Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding... Part 2 of The Ravine Valley series

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, HLV Fix-It, Infidelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

[babiesdreams]

hellooo~~~ ^-^ •✩.-*-✭ you're writing is really good!!!! it's so fun to read your works. and your aesthetic just *chefs kiss*.

can i request a blurb (or short fic, whatever you want)— jaehyun + breeding kink, but fucking in a library?

I’m doing a doble request about this one cause I had two Jaehyun x Breeding kink hahah.

Silence please +18 Jung Jaehyun 

Warnings: Agsty (little bit), unprotected, cumplay, public sex

It was around the end of the semester. The flirty boy always made you lose the count of the days, and you definitely hated how your mind allowed your heart to fall for the fuck boy so fast. You’ve always been centred on your studies, getting the best grades possible and avoiding distractions, like this one.

Yet who could resist to his perfect looking features as he walks by like nothing? And the worst part was his attitude. He joined you in your job at the library weeks ago. Like if he ever read a book... But anyways, he always acted like he was a nice and sweet boy around you, for no reason whatsoever. Like who was he trying to fool?

It’s 5:34 PM and you’re both lonely in the quiet library. Your hands hold heavy old looking books while your brain analyzes the label they’re marked with. You keep quiet as you organize the different books skillfully. “Take these to the forth corridor” You whisper to Jaehyun pushing the card full of books slightly.

The metal card hits Jaehyun’s foot as he ars a brow. “Why are you whispering? Nobody is here” He says out loud. “Shhhh. People can come in anytime and our job is to keep the place quiet and organized” You loud whisper to the boy, who simply rolls his eyes, pushing the card through the corridors.

The jingle sounds of the card’s wheels sliding against the wood flooring is the only thing that can be heard in the room. You sit down, finally having some time alone, thinking about this and that while your hand moves around an empty piece of paper, drawing meaningless sketches in it. 

“So” Jaehyun’s voice whispers in your ear. You turn, startle at his sudden presence. “Do you wanna come to my house later?” He says backing up slightly. You roll your eyes back, and turn your back to him. “I’m busy” You simply whisper to him. 

“It’s fine, I just heard how much you liked cakes and I was planning on making one today” The boy whispers as he sits down comfortably on the chair right next to yours. “Why are you acting like this?” You ask him genuently curious. 

“What do you mean?” The boy replies relaxing his expression. “You act like you’re a nice guy around me but I know you’re a fuck boy, I’ve heard a lot of things about you” You spit out, but as you keep talking you can see changes on his expression, getting sadder as you speak.

“I’m not like that okay? I just can’t open up to everyone, I get that I have a reputation, but do I need to be defined by it?” The tone of his voice sounds genuine, though your mind can’t fully trust him.

“I’m trying to open up more lately, that’s why I got this job, you seemed different” His words have that power to make you feel somehow guilty of your assumptions. “I didn’t mean to judge you Jae...” Your voice drowns in the silence of the room.

“I like you” He says, after a long silence that feels like ages, his voice makes your cheeks blush uncontrollably. “W-what?” You say, backing up as you escape from his figure getting closer and closer to you. His lips brush yours as soon as your body collides with a bookshelf behind you.

Your hands try to push him away, but his fingers trap your wrists faster. “I’m not a playdate” You say angrily to him, finally able to pull off his kiss. His eyes look at you confused, analyzing your whole figure from head to toe.

“I’m not playing date” He screams, making you tremble out of the sudden loud noise. “Are you scared?” He says with a lower tone, getting closer to you, but you step back, getting farther from the boy.

He punches the bookshelf, making it fall over. Again loud noises get into your ears. “Fuck” He shouts. You fall over, as you panic, due to the given situation. But the boy starts crying to himself, kneeling down as he keeps his cries louder and louder.

“Jae-Jaehyun?” You call him, getting closer to his figure. Your fingertips touch his hair, caressing it slowly. “Am I a monster?” He whispers in between loud cries. You can’t help but pity the crying boy. “You’re not, I was just scared” You try to explain yourself.

“Scared of me?” His teary eyes shine down the bright lights, as he looks into your eyes. “Scared of the sound, God Jaehyun, you can’t just kiss me like that...” You say trying to make him understand. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry... I thought... I just like you and I don’t want to fuck things up but I don’t know how to make this right” He says, calming down slightly. “Why don’t we start by cleaning this mess up?” You tell him, getting some books from the floor and putting them on the table next to you.

“Are you not gonna help me?” You ask him as you keep getting books from the floor. He chuckles getting slowly up. His strong arms take the bookshelf back to its place, before he helps you get the books in place.

Hours pass as you keep on making jokes while cleaning the mess up. After a couple of hours you’re finally done with the job, so you both sit down, taking a break from the hard work.

“So what now?” Jaehyun asks, sipping on his milkshake. “Now we have to wait an hour until this is close. It’s not like you’re new..” You say rolling your eyes back.

“I meant what do we do to not die from boredom?” He says still sipping on his drink as his head rests over his arms. “I don’t know...” You say copying his pose. “We could make out” He says like nothing, and this time you decide to get his game back. 

“Sure” You say confidently. His eyes widen, not expecting your answer at all. He gets slowly closer to you “Really?” He asks genuiently confused. You go closer to him brushing his soft lips with yours.

You expected the kiss to last a few seconds and make the boy more flustered, but it didn’t. Instead, you found yourself falling into a deep and heated kiss. You lose conscious of time and space, as your brain gets lost in the feeling of his hands cupping your cheeks while you kissed him.

You don’t even realize how heated everything gets while you’re still in the library. Something’s really gotten into you, while you allow his hands to travel your body as you moan inside his mouth, making his bulge grow with every little sound.

Reality suddenly hits as a loud slam door noise can be heard in the distance. You hide your half-naked body behind the big desk and Jaehyun sits on his chair, acting all normal.

You finally get a chance to look at how hard he’s gotten since the kiss you gave him. Your eyes get darker at the sudden mesmerizing view. Your hands move without any orders from your brain, unzipping his pants and taking them down along with his boxers.

His hand hits yours slightly, asking you to stop as he deals with the angry man. But you don’t really care about that as you keep going. Your tongue passes around his length, slowly, tasting every drop of precum that was surrounding the boy’s dick. 

You can hear a tiny hint of satisfaction as his voice cracks while saying “I don’t know where she went” A smile grows on your face as your mind gets filled with anticipation. You let your lips surround his tip, slowly going down the hard length, your moves quickly speed up, making the boy more and more flustered.

You can hear footsteps in the distance as the man goes away, realizing just what was about to come. His fingertips trap your hair, making you look up His face slowly appears as he makes the chair go back. “You’re so dead” He whispers, still looking at the man, who slams the door close.

“What the fuck was that?” He whispers louder. Your hand, still on his dick, moves slightly, making his eyes roll back. His big arms grab your body, taking you to another part of the library, more hidden from the entrance.

“I thought you weren’t this dirty” He whispers in your ear as his hands get your clothes off. “Fucking in a library is quite kinky” His voice ton lowers and you feel the urge to feel him inside of you. Your hand travels to his length, getting it worked out again. 

“Fuck” He moans out letting his body fall over yours. His movements are rushed, as his lust grows. You feel his fingertips, getting your hand off his dick, as his tip slowly enters you.

It feels so nice to finally get some pleasure after all of that heated game you both had been playing for hours now. His veiny length stretches your walls fastly as his breaths fill the silence of the room. 

“Fuck Jae-h-hyun” You manage to moan out. It sounds so loud compared to the set atmosphere that the boy covers your mouth. “Quiet, this is a library” You hum against his palm, making him smirk harder as he keeps going faster and deeper into you.

“Silence please” He whispers teasingly, making you blush like crazy. His empty hand gets to your clit, drawing circles over it as he does. Your eyes roll back out of pleasure. “Are you gonna cum?” The teasy tone on his voice brings you back.

You simply nod, wanting to feel relieved after such a teasy game. “Only when I say so” Cumming on command wasn’t something you were good at, but you didn’t want a second round so you tried your best. Your legs squeeze together, trying to control the sensation, but his hands spread them up again.

You protest against his palm, which is pretty much useless as he completely ignores it. He holds like that for a whole another minute, before he says “Now” 

His words finally allow you to let go, making a mess out of yourself. You get to a point where you thank the boy to be covering your mouth as you would have made embarassing loud noises, making a fool out of yourself.

Your cheeks blush anyway, at the thought of the noises you would’ve made. You don’t even notice when the boy cums inside of you, making a big white puddle on the floor.

“Fuck” Is the only thing you hear before a loud noise makes you both turn around.

------------------------------------------------------------------

hehehhe Hope you enjoyed :)

Masterlist –requests open– How to request?  Check out your score.

[livcosmos]

Chain of Iron BOOKTALK

I just….I….HOW…WHAT???? NOVEMBER?????!!!!!!…I can’t…What just happened???… I don’t even…OMG!!!!

I think there is nothing to say without spoiling anything sooo….

SPOILER WARNING

AAAAAAHHHHHHH I can’t believe how on earth am I supposed to wait till November??? NOVEMBER!!! I KNEW, I KNEW, I KNEW that it would end this way…this massive mess I knew it…I mean we do all remember how “Clockwork Angel” ended and don’t get me started on “Lord of Shadows”… I saw it coming but not like THAT!!! THIS IS BRUTAL!!!!!!

AHHHHHH OK alright I have to calm down and AHHHHH!!! This book was pure torture but in a good way, it hurt but I loved it! I couldn’t stop reading and I was screaming throughout the whole thing and you all know perfectly good why…. THE FREAKING BRACELET!!!! I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but the bracelet…. I WAS SOOOOOOO MAD and I still am…I am freaking out !!!!

NO but really, I have to start making sense and I don’t even know where to start…there is so much to talk about…but I guess I’m starting with the ENDING because helooooo what was that???

I can’t believe it…I was waiting throughout the whole book for that bracelet to break or for James to take it off or whatever and then it finally happened!!! It happened and I was like ‘OMG YAAASSSS’!!!! It’s finally happening James is going to realise that he loves Cordelia and they are going to be together for good…I have to admit the moment that wicked thing broke I was so grateful and happy, I was over the moon, but still I was sceptical, I wasn’t as happy as I should have been, I knew it was wayyyy to good to be true and that something bad had to happen… I felt it!

First I was afraid I was petrified…(sorry I had to), I thought the bad thing that was going to replace the bracelet mess was, what Tatiana The Lunatic told Grace to do… to make Jesse fall in love with her, because she couldn’t do it with James… and at that point I lost it!!! THAT WOMAN IS SICK!!! I saw the whole Clary and Jace drama from “City of Ashes” all over again running before my eyes … I know Grace and Jesse aren’t actually related but still that is sick!!!! I just can’t go through the whole thing, we got through with James and Cordelia because of Grace and the freaking bracelet all over again with Lucie and Jesse!!!! (I will get to the Jesse/Lucie thing in a minute!)

But of course that wasn’t the bad thing that was about to happen it would have been way to harmless… and when Grace went to James for “help” I was actually a little relieved, I thought ‘Alright she does have good sense and she is going to report Tatiana’….but oh no..oh no..oh no no no no no… ahhhhhhh!!!! James my love, I love you but what was in your head when you said “Thank God” and when you told Cordelia “I don’t feel about you the way I feel about Grace” ARE YOU CRAZY??? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? But nevertheless, I have to give you credit for how you confronted her with her wicked power afterward, how you wouldn’t take her lies anymore! And you Cordelia darling, he said he has something important to tell, you don’t run away like that wait and see what he has to tell you or at least eavesdrop properly!!! And OMG I need to know what James wanted to tell her about the necklace he gave her, he said it has some story and I need to know it!!!

AHHHHHHH I was so happy that James figured everything out, it was my main goal for this book, my biggest hope and wish and I waited for it to happen the whole time, I couldn’t concentrate on anything else like LILITH?? WHATEVER, WHEN IS THE BRACELET COMING OFF???And then it finally happened and it turned into such a big mess! But in a weird way I love it, I am still very mad though and I need to know what happens!!! I need to know! I mean obviously things are going to turn out just fine but still!!!

Before going back to the James and Cordelia disaster we need to to talk about my love MATTHEW, because well he is very much a big part of the disaster! First of all, am I crazy or does he give off massive Harry Styles energy??? He is the fictional Harry Styles of the 20th century, if I may say so! His style… my God I’m in love! It’s not a secret that I love him very much, I have reread my booktalk for “Chain of Gold” (thank God I ramble so much in my booktalks because I was right back on track with every detail for starting this book!) and I called him my soulmate in there and he still very much is!! And ahhhhhh my hearth breaks for him, I hate to see him in pain!!!! The another big wish I had besides the bracelet breaking was, was for Matthew to tell someone what happened with Charlotte and OMG HE DID!!! I teared up at that scene, I was so happy, I was so relieved (and ahhh of course he knew that Cordelia is in love with James, of course he knew ahh bless him), he now has someone who knows and who watches over him more carefully and maybe Cordelia will convince him to tell the others too, especially Charlotte and Henry! It was such a big step forward and I am so happy for him! I have so much hope that everything will be fine with him but then…. We all know it… Cordelia will end up with James I mean that is more than crystal clear and I fear what will happen to him! I don’t want him to end up alone and oh my, call me crazy and I know I said this before but I do also ship him with Cordelia! Of course I ship James and Cordelia no doubt but still I would also love Matthew to be with her! I know, I know that would be a mess because he is to much like her father bla bla, but come on!!! He also needs someone and I don’t know who that someone could be, I don’t want him to be alone!!! (And also I need more scenes from his point of few, he needs to be more present, I don’t want our connection to fade!!!)

AAHHHH and he is going to Paris with Cordelia ahhhhhh I love that!!! I am all in for spontaneous trips and I know they shouldn’t run away from they problems like that but still, I think and also hope that they will have a great time there and that they may get closer? AH but that would be an even bigger mess wouldn’t it? I don’t know I’m confused, it’s the JEM-TESSA-WILL situation all over again. I mean I know Cordelia doesn’t love Matthew and that it would never be the same thing that she has with James and I know that all of this will backfire on Matthew, but even though I don’t want him to suffer I am still in for that, I am in for the drama!

Speaking of drama I loved that scene at the Shadow Market where James and Mathew where arguing, I didn’t liked that they were arguing but in some way it was a really great scene, I loved the tension and everything! It was really really good!

I also loved the trip scene, where Mathew took Cordelia to *couch* *couch* Wayland the Smith with the motorcar ahhhh it was lovely!!!

And hahah omg the scene at the end where James comes rushing to Matthew’s apartment and he talks to the Porter and he was like “Yeah that wasn’t his cousin, that was my wife” I couldn’t help laughing out loud! The situation was so serious and so full of tension but I couldn’t help laughing!

Another scene that made me laugh was the scene where I believe it was Thomas who said that James was possessed because he was writing in a book! And that is totally true James how could you?! HAHA

Alright so besides the bracelet/James-Cordelia-Matthew drama, what freaked me out at the end was what happened with Lucie and Jesse!!!

I still can’t get over the fact, that Cassie ended it like that!!! I mean Lucie is obviously still alive but OMG JESSE LIVES TOO!!!! I have to be hones that scene where he came back to life made me tear up, I was so happy, even though I know there will be consequences for Lucie. Ahhh and I fear crazy Tatiana but my God Jesse is alive!!!!!

And he and Lucie are soooo incredibly cute together I can’t! That scene where they were dancing in the snow….my Lord that was the sweetest thing ever I loved it so much!!!

But oh boy oh boy, as Jesse was possessed by Belail, I was so scared for him, that Cordelia would stab him with Cortana, the fear was there and it was over the top, I felt sick! Thank God things turned out fine! Crazy lunatic Tatiana how could you do that to your own son who you claim to love so much???? How could you let a Prince of Hell posses him??? Crazy lady you are awful!!!

Oh boy and if we are already touching the topic of rising up Jesse we have to talk about Malcom….goodness gracious I can’t believe the whole TDI drama is because of freaking insensitive crazy witch Grace!!! I can’t get over the fact that she is the reason why Malcom turns into a psychopath and kills so many people and basically causes all the drama in TDI!! If Grace wouldn’t have done that, if Lucie might have stoped her (or if she wouldn’t encourage Malcom into his madness my calling up Annabelle) things would have turned out so different!!!

And where in the world did he take Lucie and Jesse??? Ah I don’t trust him, because I mean it’s obvious why!

Oh and speaking of necromancy, I’m so frustrated, that I don’t remember what Ty and Kit did exactly to rise up Livvy, I mean now it doesn’t matter anymore because Jesse is alive but still, I want to remember how they did it or better say how they tried to do it!

Ah and before I go into a completely other direction I want to say a few more things about Grace… so first of all I can’t believe James left here there in the room alone I am scared that she will run away or something, that she wouldn’t tell Charlotte the truth without James there to force her… but hey we will have to wait and see what happens!

And then there is this other thing… learning her backstory in this book made me hate her a little less! I am not happy about it but I don’t know seeing exactly what she has been trough I felt sorry for her! I still don’t like her God forbid no way, she is still evil, she could have ripped apart that bracelet so many times!!! I get that she fears Tatiana but fjhfkfg, I don’t know I pity her now. And it makes me mad that I can’t be as mad at her as I was before! And then again I feel sorry for hating on her so much because it’s not her fault! I am glad though that we got this insights from her life, so that we can understand her a little better!

The other thing is, that I don’t know how I feel about her getting closer to Christopher, Christopher is such a cuty and I am constantly worried about him, because he is so pure and he trusts everyone blindly and Grace is an evil witch so…I don’t know let’s hope for the best! And then again on the other side they are both a little odd, I can picture them together, I can see that they could fit well together! Seeng it doesn’t mean accepting it though!

A few quick words about Alastair, before we go into the next big thing, I love how he cares for Cordelia, that he is so different around her and I love, that slowly but surely he is changing and behaving better and that he is slowly but surely getting the acceptance of the group! Lets hope things will tun out good, especially the bad blood between him and Matthew!

AH OH and Thomas, even though at first I thought that the whole thing with him being accused to be the murderer was a bit of unnecessary drama, I think things took a great turn! And my god I loved the the scene with him and Will and the Mortal Sword! It was absolutely hilarious, the question Will asked about the money, bless his soul!!!

Speaking of him, I loved to see him and Tessa, as usual, I can’t never get enough of them! And also Jem of course, the one and only love of my life!!! How are we kidding, I don’t think I have to tell anyone anymore, that I cried when he played the violin at James’ and Cordelia’s wedding! That got me! He gets me every time, he is my sensitive spot! And I also cried at the end when he came to talk to Cordelia and yeah…the usual…every time I think about him I cry…I just love him to much! (Speaking of the wedding, omg that was so beautiful and what Charlotte said oh my…that as so so sweet!!!)

But I have to say even though I love Jem, Will and Tessa and I love to see them every time I get the chance, I am also really happy that they don’t play that big of a role here in this story, I said this before but I love that it’s their children’s story where they are there but they are not the main characters. That is also valid for Magnus, I love that he is always there to save the day but still I like that the kids get to write their own story, if that makes sense!

OH Oh and the Italian girl?! It so ironic, that she died because I don’t know in the booktalk for “Chain of Gold” I was like: ‘Yeah omg there is this Italian girl coming I hope the group will accept her, and that she may be the one for my Math!’… well that turned out completely different!

Ohhh and her last name was di Angelo?! I love how Cassie thanked Rick for letting her borrow that last name, I love that two of the most amazing authors in the whole world are friends!

Ok but back to the serious stuff…. Lilith oh Lilith…. I was a little suspicious at the beginning of book at the bachelorette party when her name came up for the first time but I thought nothing of it, I was like oh ok let’s move on…and then her name came up a few more times but I still didn’t thought there was anything to it. Foolish little me, I should have seen it going but I didn’t!!!

I was suspicious of Wayland the Smith if I may quote my own notes, that I wrote down when he first appeared: “ Don’t trust Whayland the Smith, that was so wired, oh Cordelia what have you done, is he the killer?? Is he helping the killer??”. So deep down I knew something was up but I didn’t knew what and uhhhh….oh my and she pretending to be Magnus??? How did she dare to do it! Shame on you Lilith!!!

OMG and the battle at the end with her and Belail and everyone was so intense!!! I can’t wait to see how they are going to solve this whole mess, especial the paladin thing!

And the whole Wayland the Smith thing is actually so interesting like does he actually exists? Is he still alive?? We definitely need more informations about him!

Coming back to the paladin thing though, I can totally understand Cordelia, how she must feel and all but please gris don’t exaggerate you still have to be Lucie’s parabatai, you can’t give that up! It has to happen, it just has to! And what have you done to Cortana? Where is it? I need to know!

Oh uh uh but you know what else is suspicious??? That gift Cordelia got from her father, that sword hold thing, because first of all where did he get it from and second Lilith (as she pretended to be Waylande the Smith) made comment on it, that it was worthy or good or something, does that mean that thing is also enchanted, does it mean it has a spell on it or something? Did Elias get it from her? It’s very suspicious and I need more informations!

By the way, his death… I didn’t feel very sorry because I don’t know he was causing unnecessary trouble and even though I am grateful that he saved Jem all those years ago…I don’t know he was wired…I felt sorry for Cordelia, seeing her suffer so much made me sad but than again his death caused unnecessary trouble even if only for a short while between James and Cordelia so I don’t know…and Alastair suffered so much all those years because of him… we wasn’t very likeable!

All in all I had the best time reading this book, it felt so good to be back “home”, I love this world so much and it felt so good to be back! It made me miss London so much… it reminded me how much I love it and ah also the time period I love it !!! Unfortunately though it is now over and I have to face the real world again, and besides that we have to wait till November to find out how things will turn out!!! On the other side I don’t want it to end!!!

Thank you very very much for reading and please let me know your thoughts on the book!!!

P.S. Cordelia said, that if she loses a chess game she would tell James how she is in love with, do you think that is how they are going to make up? That they will play a game and she will lose and tell him that she has always loved him and then they will be together for real? By the way they still have to get those second wedding runes!!!!

P.P.S James’ middle name is Henry??? That is the sweetest thing ever!!!

P.P.P.S I hope that everything between James and Matthew will be ok, that they will stop forging, that Matthew will tell James everything and that everything will be ok regardless of whom will end up with Cordelia!

[figonas]

Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

[espresseo-cafe]

i like you, jerk | johnny | oneshot

coffee type: syrup

pairing: johnny x reader

bean count: 1.1k

a/n: ahhh another update after a week off 🙈 so i decided to go for a fluff hahah. enjoy your coffee break 📖☕️

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the people around johnny questioned him about his friendship with you- someone who was quiet, blunt with facts, yet had a resting face wherever you looked. even though you had that reputation, johnny knew you since grade school like a book; page to page.

he knew that the squad called you wednesday addams at some point, and he laughed at the accuracy it held. it was proven one time when a girl in a lecture complained about how hot it was despite the weather being in winter, and you answered to control her lower part instead- she was known to be a little ‘too friendly’ to guys. and the people who heard it went home with pained stomachs from laughing too hard.

he also knew that yuta called you a tsundere, which he totally agreed on because he had his fair shares of anime watching himself. though there was one thing he didn’t know- for someone who had a tough exterior, just who did you like?

“you like johnny!?” yuju smiled as her puppy eyes slowly turning into a curve. she loved what she found out when she heard you accidentally mentioned your crush. “this is surreal!”

“you mean ‘suh’real!” chungha covered her face with her hands, cringing with her intended pun. “i’ve been to the dj radio club when he and jae asked me to talk about my experience at the world of dance contest in the states, and i tell you y/n..” she drinked on her soju, “johnny suh’s a charmer. i understand why you like him.”

“don’t let doyoung hear that or else he be throwing fists at the guy.” yuju picked on her nails, knowing the fact that doyoung was a protective boyfriend of chungha. “or if he really had the guts to.”

your nose scrunched and you let out a snicker at yuju’s very obvious remark on doyoung. she wasn’t lying though, that boy could go lengths to be with chungha. he did out of love and it was hilarious.

johnny caught sight of your smiling expression a few tables away from where he was sitting. jaehyun and doyoung exchanged looks, knowing very well that their friend was curious on that rare emotion you emitted. “she’s only like that with your girlfriend and yuju.”

“i sense jealousy.” doyoung gave an evilish grin.

johnny flared his nose at the assumption, “ironic, doie.” shifting his gaze away from you. “i’ve known y/n since we were nine, and i’ve never seen her smile so wide like that.”

“maybe she’s really like that with her friends.” jaehyun played with his straw in his peach milkshake, “just not you.”

“ditto, she’s blunt to us. but mostly you.” doyoung chewed on his kimbap before taking what he said back, “actually just you. she treated us ice-cream last week.”

johnny let out a gasp and changed his expression, “not fair. you guys only met her this year.”

“and it only took us this year to figure out that you’re head over heels for your long time friend.” jaehyun stretched his arms, “you’re too hyper and open that it makes you so transparent.”

johnny stayed quiet, wishing he closed his ears before hearing that. he did like you since middle school, and telling you about his feelings would only embarrass him due to your straightforwardness. on the inside, he was dying to know who was able to melt that stone cold heart of yours.

he made his way to the dj radio club after lunch when you stood by the door, “y/n, why are you here?”

“waiting for someone.” you tapped on your phone, liking several tweets on twitter. “aren’t you opening the door yet?”

johnny pulled a face, finally figuring out your intentions, the keys jingling in his pocket. “you know, eversince jae joined the club, you’re always here.”

your brow raised as you looked at him, “hm, you’re reading the lines very well. i could say the same that you stop by choir practices to watch the campus’ songbird to sing.”

johnny didn’t listen to the latter part, and he wished he closed his ears again at what you just said. the guy who melted your heart was jaehyun, his best friend. true, he had the looks, musicality, sportmanship, and height. who wouldn’t fall in love with an ideal guy of the campus?

and to think that jaehyun’s birthday and valentine’s day was today, he spotted a box you had in hand. “i can help you pass the message to jae, also the gift.”

you placed the gift close to your chest, your cheek flushed. “it’s ok. i’ll do it myself.”

“come on, y/n. the live broadcast will start in five. you can’t be here.” he said quite teasingly and attempted to take the box from you. the little tug of war on the little box went on for a minute and you two looked like when you were grade school years ago; arguing for the last box of malteasers.

“y/n, come on, jae and the professor will be here in any minute and you’ll-”

“it’s for you.” you finally let go of the box, your eyes avoiding his pretty brown eyes staring shockingly at your sudden confession.

“f-for me?” he asked stupidly even though it was loud and clear for him, the dj room being soundproof and all. “i thought it was for-”

“i like you, jerk.” you tugged a strand behind your ear, later swallowing your saliva disgustingly to re-hydrate yourself from fainting in front of the boy you liked very much.

thank goodness for a soundproof room and that he didn’t think to close his ears once again. johnny could hear his heartbeat go wild, and he could see himself turning red through the reflection of the glass window. the guy who melted your heart not jaehyun, but him. that realization alone made him smile so wide that he leaped forward and gave you a hug, mainly to cover his happiness that he failed to contain. too late though, you already saw it coming.

“i like you too, princess.”

[guardianoffandoms]

Here’s my gift for @voxymoxyboxy for the Sam and Max secret Santa! I hope that you like it!

SHOCK, CRACKLE, POPPERS!

Summary: After Sam and Max escape the pit of hell using Santa’s sleigh, The Soda Poppers decide to trap them in a way they can’t escape!

A chill runs through the main office of hell. Said office had always been about 2 degrees above comfortable because it is hell, after all. Our Dubious Duo, Sam and Max, have escaped the pit of hell and are working on a plan to put the Poppers in their place! However, that plan isn't exactly panning out.

Sam had been in the process of creating a cake so he could trick the Soda Poppers into sending themselves into the pit. This plan had one flaw, the Soda Poppers, while they are annoying, and pesky, and a pain in the ass, they are also remarkably perceptive when someone wants to hurt them. Case in point, when Sam was creating the cake, Peepers realized that he was up to something and quickly alerted his brothers. Together they trapped our duo in cages deep below hell, to wither and suffer for all eternity.

“SAM! THE WRITER IS TRYING TO BE EDGY!” Max whines before Sam interrupts.

“Quiet onion-head, you can break the fourth wall later! Right now we gotta get out of here!”

Sam looks around the room, assessing the situation. He and Max were trapped in cages suspended above apparently bottomless chasms, connected only by brick pathways that had an elevator at one end and an endless number of more cages at the other. Sam scratches at his neck only to discover a collar wrapped around his neck. After a moment or two of trying to pry it off, Sam shrugs and decides to ignore it for the moment.

“Well nice to know interior decorators go to heaven.” Max deadpans.

“Hey Max! Look up there!” Sam exclaims, pointing at a speaker resting atop the elevator.

After a few moments, the speaker screeches to life. They quickly wished it stayed off.

“Hello, Sam and Max!” Specs’ voice rings out. “And welcome to your permanent resting place! We have trapped you in- Hey! Move it!” “No Specs! You can't hog the Announcer of Doom!” they hear Whizzer wine

“Yes I can! I called dibs!”

“Max, I found our personal hell,”

“Being forced to listen to their nasally, annoying, prepubescent complaining for the rest of eternity?”

“I was going to say reruns of care bears but yeah that too.”

“ENOUGH! Sam and Max, for getting in our way we created a perfect trap! One where Sam can't talk or Rube Goldberg his way out! And Max, you can escape, but you have to leave Sam behind! Try to free him, and Sam will pay the price! HAHAH-” The speaker cuts off before Peepers finishes laughing, leaving our duo confused by his warning. Well, one confused and the other concerned.

After a few moments, Sam and Max’s gazes move from the speaker to each other.

“Well that was ominous.” Sam grimaces.

“Yeah, but come on Sam, it's the Soda Poppers! Those pint-sized halfwits couldn't work a mousetrap! Let's get the hell outta hell!” Max exclaims, pulling himself up on the bars of his cage for effect. His show of confidence working wonders on Sam, his grimace turning back into his trademark smile. “You’re right little buddy! Now let's get you out first since apparently you can escape without me, so your cage must be faulty in some way!” Sam exclaims as he looks over Max's cage.

Sam quickly notices that Max's cage is closed by a padlock and chain. “Alright max! All you gotta do is undo the lock. If you got a paperclip this would be a gre-” Sam is cut off by a loud crunch and the bang of the padlock hitting the ground. “Well Sam, while a paper clip would have worked, my jaw needed the exercise!” Max remarks as his cage door swings open and he wanders over to Sam. “You’re a menace to biology little buddy.”

Their jovial attitude was short lived, the closer Max got the more static seemed to build around Sam's neck. “Max, don't touCH TH-!” Sam's plea quickly turned into a pained whine when Max touched the cage. At the noise, Max stumbles back and the speaker crackles to life once more.

“Uh oh! Looks like you found out our plan!” Whizzers voice screeches out. “If you touch Sam's cage, he gets ZAPPED! If he tries to help you free himself, ZAP! No talking, no ideas, no planning!” The reality of the situation starts to set in, and Max was ready to behead three child stars. “Have fun with your cage! Bye-bye!”

The speaker goes quiet, and so do our heroes.

Sam lifts himself up from his fallen position to gaze at Max. He couldn't get out alone, and nobody could read him better than Max. Meanwhile, Max is shivering. Not from hell's new climate, but shivering with rage. He whips around to Sam and sharply grins. “Alright Sam, what's the plan? Because I got two paws, a gun, and the will to make murder a felony in hell.”

Sam smirks at the lagomorph before standing up and observing the lock on his cage. It was a simple lock and chain, same as Max’s. However, Sam did not possess Max’s biting force nor his probably illegal teeth, so they’d have to improvise. He motioned towards the lock and did a hand gesture for a gun. Max quickly understood Sam's bad charades and pulled out his gun to shoot the lock. Before he could pull the trigger, Sam falls to the ground, electricity flooding his body. After a few moments, the shocks stop and Sam lays on the floor catching his breath.

“We got a plan B, Sam? Because as much as I love hearing your pathetic whining, the fact that I'm not causing it kinda sours the enjoyment, ya know?” While his banter was playful, Sam could see the anger building in Max. Satan help the Soda Poppers, because not even god can save them now. Leaning against the side of his cage, Sam holds up his pointer finger and gives Max a wink. A look of realization crosses the lagomorphs face, followed by a grin that he quickly covers with a look of pure grief.

“Sam. Sam, come on. You can't give up that easy! You never give up that easy!” Max exclaimes gesturing around him. ”Come on Sam, we made it to hell! We can make it out, Sam! SAM!” as he spoke, Max started to cry.

“Sam we’ve known each other forever! You can't just give up!” Max looks at Sam,and Sam nods before taking off his hat. Max gazes at the hat a moment before- “FINE THEN! THEN THIS IS THE END SAM! HAVE A NICE AFTERLIFE!” Max yells before storming towards the elevator.

Meanwhile, the Soda Poppers are watching this play out from the main office of hell. A few moments after Max stalks towards the elevator, the camera feed cuts out, leading the Poppers to believe that Max was leaving without Sam. The elevator rises, its doors opening to reveal Max, looking sullen and angry. As the elevator doors close, Max turns to the Poppers.

“Well well well, it looks like the freelance police are over!” Specs proclaims joyfully. Max grimaces and responds, “yeah, turns out Sam wants to do this on his own. Has a whole plan that I'm apparently not smart enough to comprehend so whatever. I've got a wedding to officiate anyway.” Max mutters walking to hell's kitchen next to hell's meeting room. Opening the fridge max pulls out an odd looking concoction, resembling a cake with a bright red candle.

As Max walked back to the Poppers, he shoots the bell at the top of the ice cream truck now parked inside the office. The bell ringing causes Specs to close his book and now all that needed to happen was the Soda Poppers blowing out their candle.

“Hey Whizzer.” Max spoke casually. “Mind showing me your new trick again? I couldn't see it last time because Sam was in the way.” “Of course I can! Or my name isn't Whizz-rael the Tormentor!” Max pulls out the cake so the fire lights the candle. At the sight the Poppers jump for joy. “Aww! You remembered!” “Yep, I sure did, wouldn't miss your birthday for anything!”

As always, the word ‘birthday’ makes the mariachi band show up. And as they finish their song, the soda poppers blow out the candle. Sending them straight into the pit. “CURSE YOU SAM AND MAX!” their voices cry, growing fainter the further they fall. As the portal closes, the elevator opens again, revealing Sam!

Max smiles, running over to Sam. “TA-DA! Another case closed, another set of lives ruined! I say we head home and eat junk food till the cows come home! What do ya think, Sam?” Sam grins at Max’s antics before pointing to the collar still affixed to his neck. Max pauses. “Oooh, right, kinda forgot about that.” He jumps up on Sam's back and grabs the collar before snapping it with his teeth. Sam pulls the remaining metal off, rubs his neck and turns to Max. “Thanks Max, another minute in that thing and I'd have pulled a Cujo!”

“You mean go feral and kill helpless civilians? Sounds like fun! Can we? Can we please?” Max pleads, his smile too wide to appear anything but dangerous. “Sorry little buddy but you gotta wedding to officiate and I've gotta reload my gun.” Sam remarks, walking towards the exit. “Yeah, you’d think the Soda Poppers woulda taken that but eh, made it easy for you to shoot your way out.” Max replies, walking instep with Sam. “Yep, now let's get outta hell before beelze-bub eats all the hors d'oeuvres.”

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Maple syrup dreams

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 21 | Part 22 Maple syrup dreams | Part 23 >

Disclaimer: Just fluff

Author’s note: Do you know what I just can’t get enough of? Whenever I’m writing my fanfics I keep Tumblr open in the background and there’s nothing more fun than seeing you, the reader, pop up in my notifications every few minutes or so, liking yet another chapter of a long fic. At some point I even know when you’re having a tea break, or taking a moment to make yourself some food. It makes me, as a writer, feel all gooey with happiness (and I quietly enjoy the fun along with you whenever you’re reading my works, my mind bringing me back to when I was writing that particular chapter you just liked). Ugh! I’m such a sap today! I love you darling readers! ❤️

Word count: 2.042

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

I am writing this blog from a far, far away place. My fingers a bit numb from the everlasting cold, the taste on my tongue remembering I had far too much Maple Syrup Taffy and my everyday schedule suddenly consisting off shoving snow and rubbing down snowy dog paws.

Me and chocolate cake are in Canada, where we’ll be for the next 2 months as he’s working on a movie here. A movie? Chocolate cake? Hold on, you may think. Tell me more about this mysterious chocolate cake that you seem to be getting serious with! Well dear readers, though many of you know by now whom my lovely chocolate cake is, I’d still like to keep our privacy a little while longer. So let us just say; talk, dark, handsome and a very practical human heater when sleeping together. Especially when you are staying in this freakishly cold country and the actual heater is broken.

Today I’ll be visiting the movie set for the first time, and thereby a part of a new life starts that may have seemed totally ridiculous had you told me I’d be here a few months ago. But alas(ka), here we go!

Ali

‘Morning love.’ Henry chuckled, watching me shuffle through the tiny hallway of the trailer, my body clad in probably every sweater and wool sock I could find. ‘Hmmpff..’ I grumbled, plopping down beside him on the small bench in the kitchen nook.

It felt a bit like my student days. Living on each others lip, this shared living space no bigger than some 24m2, the heating unit broken and the food..well..not great.

‘Need me to warm you up?’ He smiled, gesturing me to scoot over to his lap. Silently nodding I moved up to him, feeling his arms snake around me and pull me snug against his broad and warm chest. ‘Ungh..how can you only wear one sweater and not be cold?’

Henry laughed. ‘It’s called 4000 kcal a day intake and lots of exercising.’ He kissed my cold cheek, his slight stubble scratching my skin. I sniffled and shook my head. ‘Does not sound like my cup of tea.’ - ‘Doesn’t have to be. I’ll keep you warm.’ He hummed, pushing a warm hand beneath my layers of sweaters. ‘Besides, the maintenance team is going to check on that heater this afternoon, so with a little luck we get home tonight to a nice and warm trailer.’ - ‘Goooood.’ I hummed, then squealed, feeling him tickle my skin ever so slightly. ‘Very good.’ He smiled, sniffing my hair before placing a kiss atop my head.

‘Hmm..In case I haven’t mentioned it, I’m so glad to have you here.’ He whispered, nuzzling my hair some more. I chuckled. ‘Oh you only mentioned it about a hundred times or so.’ I leaned back a little so I could turn my face towards his, our noses touching.

He was SO warm.

‘I wouldn’t miss this for the world.’ I murmured, laying a pillowy kiss on his lips. ‘Besides I got some small tasks to help the team out with today, so I don’t have to wait for you to come home like the good housewife I am.’ I winked, making him snicker. ‘Very good wifey.’ - ‘I mean, I’m no wife..but..you know..housegirlfriend sounds weird.’ I shrugged, turning to steal a sip of coffee from his large mug and thereby missing the loving glint in his eyes.

He watched me for a few more long moments, enjoying his coffee and staring into the abyss of 6 AM nothingness, Kal still snoring quietly on his dog bed. He didn’t want to ruin the moment as it was, but there sure was a whole lot going on in his head.

I was his first girlfriend to join him for such a long movie shoot. And for the first time in a long time he didn’t feel so very alone. Didn’t feel like it was just another fleeting moment of a good life. This was going to last. He would make sure it would.

‘Oh are you going to finish that.’ I pointed at a leftover bite of his breakfast toast. He laughed aloud. ‘Go ahead. And, I’ll make myself a mental note to make double the amount of breakfast tomorrow.’

I blushed slightly as I felt his gaze on me, chewing that bit of toast. ‘Sowwyy.’ I gulped, quickly swallowing the toast. ‘You really don’t have to..-‘ - ‘No please Ali. You travelled half the world just to be here with me. The least I can do is make you breakfast while you wrap yourself in not one, not two..but THREE of my sweaters.’

My blush became even more fierce when I felt his chest rumble with mirth.

‘Mwu..they’re just really nice sweaters.’ I mumbled, pouting at him. ‘Hahah. Oh Ali-bear. I have missed you so.’

Ali-bear? I raised an eyebrow at him as my blush slowly faded. ‘Ali-bear?’ I asked with mild confusion. ‘Yes, since you call me Henry-bear and you ARE part of the bear pack now.’ He winked, nodding at Kal who was blinking open his eyes, the large Akita stretching out his paws with mild exaggeration. We both laughed. ‘A-ha..so I’m a bear now, too?’ I looked at him and he shrugged innocently, making me laugh even harder. ‘Oh Henry..you are un-BEAR-able.’  

—

The days on set were crazy long, crazy cold, but also crazy fun. After a week or so I got into a routine of helping for a few hours on set - moving and cleaning props, cooking meals with the cook, walking Kal -, followed by a few hours of working on my upcoming book and help out the Jersey Gazette with editing articles.

My life in Jersey felt like lightyears away, but I didn’t miss it as much as I had anticipated. All I really needed was Henry, silly as it seemed. Be it because we were crazy in love, or because we really had found great soulmates in one another. Even on 14 hour workdays we’d find the time to be there for each other, making life in general really rather pleasant.

Did I have a good idea for one of my stories? I’d pitch it to Henry. Henry needed to practise some new lines? I’d play his villanous counterpart. Did either one of us feel a little on edge? We’d have a quickie in the trailer.

Yes, life was good.

—

‘Hi mom..hello?..Mom? Can you hear me?’ The line crackled and my mom’s voice distorted in a wild flurry of screeches and blurred speech. ‘Let’s try again.’ I ended the call and waited for her to call me in turn, this time the line thankfully much more stable.

‘Oh! There we go!’ Mom exclaimed, hearing me giggle. ‘Hello Ali dear. Oh baby we miss you soooo!’

‘Hi mom. Miss you too! How’s everything at home?’

‘Quite exciting times over here..we finally adopted a dog! A four year old poodle mix, named Cookie. And she’s a lovely gal. Chewing on some shoelaces as we speak hahaha.’ - ‘Quite lovely indeed haha. So you truly miss me THAT much, hmm? Empty nest?’ - ‘Terribly. So how’s everything over there? Are you okay? Eating enough vegetables?’

Moms will be moms.

‘Yes mom haha. Plenty of vegetables. And I exercise everyday because it is crazy cold and there’s practically no other way to get warm..-‘ - ‘The things you do for love, hmm? I remember you experiencing your first snow. How you immediately ran back inside, not liking it one bit. And now you are living in meters of snow!’

‘Yes. The things we do for love.’ I heard the trailer door open behind me and looked over my shoulder, seeing two snowy bears enter, bringing with them a gust of icy cold air.

‘Close it..close IT!’ I exclaimed, waving at the door when Henry let it open, his arm filled with a number of plastic bags. Smiling, his nose also slightly red with cold, he bumped the door closed with his buttocks, Kal taking the moment to shake off the remains of snow in his fur and launching it at the both of us.

‘KALL!!’ I warned, the akita panting at me happily, acting as if he didn’t do anything wrong.

‘Shall I call back later dear? Sounds like you have some men to take care of.’ My mom’s voice sounded in my ear and I slowly nodded, my eyes tracking to Henry as he zipped out of his jacket and started rubbing Kal down with a towel, the dog continuing to circle away from him, thinking it was playtime.

‘Yea..call you back mom. Looks like Henry could use some help haha. Have fun with Cookie and send pictures!! Love you. Give dad a hug from me.’ - ‘I shall my dear. Kisses back!’ And that was the end of the call.

I quickly stood up and helped Henry dry off Kal, our smiles growing as the dog started to bounce up, licking our faces. ‘Who’s a good boy?!’ I cooed, rubbing him behind the ears, squatting down and allowing the dog to lean into me, going in for a big bear hug. The dog was more than glad to get all this attention, his head ducking down and pressing into my chest, eager to get even more pets. I laughed and looked up at Henry, seeing him get up and moving back to the bags that were now on the small kitchen counter, his hands digging through the contents

‘Whatcha got..-?’ - ‘Close your eyes!’ He stopped me mid sentence, looking over his shoulder with a mischievous glint in his ocean blues. ‘Ohhhkay..’ I said, slightly unsure, settling down so Kal couldn’t topple me over, the large Akita folding his large paws over my lap and also looking at Henry.

What was he up to? With a slow breath I closed my eyes, my hand continuing to trace languid circles through his fur. And then I felt something being pushed down on my head. Warm, soft. REALLY soft. A..hat? I wished to open my eyes but Henry clicked his tongue in warning, now picking up my hands and slipping them carefully in what probably were two mittens. My lips curled up in a smile, and I turned my head up expectantly.

‘Can I look now..?’ I asked quietly. Henry chuckled. ‘Almost.’

Then I felt something shift beneath my hands, Kal sitting up slightly.

‘Okay, now you can look.’

I opened my eyes and first saw Kal, wearing the cutest purplish blue knit scarf, and then the mittens on my hands. Also knit, but with a teddy-like material inside to keep my fingers nice and toasty. Reaching for my head I could feel a hat there. ‘With bear ears.’ Henry sniffled, nodding. ‘I know you don’t want me to get you presents. But it’s a bit of a special day.’

‘Special..day..?’ I quirked up an eyebrow, then smiled feeling the two small bear ears on my head. Slowly I lowered my hands again and gave Henry a studious look. ‘Special day.’ Henry smiled, sitting down beside me and Kal, his eyes glittering.

‘Did I ..miss..something?’ I gave him a suspicious look.

Henry chuckled. ‘Perhaps a calendar.’ He reached for my mittens and pulled me to his chest, noses nearly touching. ‘Happy half year anniversary sweet little icicle of mine.’ He said with a smile in his voice, his lips trying to brush against mine, but failing as I gasped in horror. ‘OOOH…I FORGOT.’

Henry laughed all the harder, shoulders shaking and Kal shifting so he could lean into the both us, head squeezed in between our chests. ‘That’s quite alright. Now c’mhere.’ He snickered, pulling my embarrassed face to his, our lips finally melting together.

And how hot and cozy that moment was.

Nothing big and outrageous. No hours of driving just to get to some half decent restaurant. It was just Henry, me and Kal. The three of us enjoying a first home cooked dinner in weeks whilst laughing at the extra warm clothes Henry had gotten me - he could not stand it seeing his girl be cold, and though he loved sharing his sweaters..he did need some of them for his own use too, especially when we went out for our morning runs.

It was sweet, thoughtful, simple and much of what I expected of true love. A maintenance kind of love.

And from here on any next steps in our relationship didn’t seem so scary. I had not even given the whole donorship thing a second glance since we had arrived in Canada. This? This might very well be it, you know? 

--

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[lillithenettix]

1, 10, 18 and 40 for Habit and Li Lee : D

1.How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Habit likes to stick to a healthy sleeping schedule (sleep around 10pm-ish, wake up 6am-ish) while Li Lee, at first, went to sleep whenever she felt like it, as long as she was awake in time to go to work (at a run-down flower shop), but after she moves in together with Habit she slowly fixes her sleeping schedule so they can go to bed together more often. (By ‘slowly fixes her sleeping schedule’ I mean Boris pestering her to no end about it and carrying her to bed by the scruff if she didn’t join him in bed fast enough). 

Of course, it didn’t work immediately. It doesn’t fix itself that fast. At first she just lay next to Boris as he slept (though he was awake a bit longer to keep her company, before giving in and falling asleep), reading books, daydreaming, etc... But eventually it worked out :>

2. Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

Boris is the driver. He has a licence, a car, and plenty of years of driving experience. Li Lee couldn’t afford to get a driving licence. She usually walks, but for flower deliveries she has a trustworthy bicycle she doesn’t let out of her sight when parked outside. Maybe she will get a licence someday ^u^ Boris is also the one who cooks. He is a very creative person, with many interests, and somewhat of a Jack of all trades and knows a lot about everything (dentist, artist, coder, mechanic, god knows what else... assuming he’s the one who built martha and made his website). Li Lee can cook with if she has a recipe as long as it isn’t a crazy hard meal to cook, but before getting with Habit she only had herself to feed & noone to impress (+ again, the being poor thing) >_< She can clean though! She always wants to be presentable- be it her shop, her apartment (and later her & Habit’s house), or herself. So she’s in charge of cleaning, but Habit does help out :) Especially the high places, or places where heavy stuff needs moving.

Habit pays for EVERYTHING in this relationship. (English isn’t my first language so I’m not sure if I understand the handling of the public correctly but hopefully I got it right hahah) Habit is the one who handles most of the public interactions. Outside her flower shop, Li Lee is too shy to get anything done. She only feels comfortable with friends. Habit on the other hand is a complete extrovert, ready to talk to anyone about anything, not afraid of making a mistake or make a fool out of himself. Sometimes he’s maybe even too friendly with strangers. No understanding of personal space whatsoever.

18. What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Honestly, they vary a lot. Relaxing at Habit’s home (before she moves in), dinner dates, amusement park dates, each different from another. But I suppose the one thing all the dates do have in common is that Boris always brings a gift for Li Lee. He knows that she’s a materialistic girl :> As for how long they’re been/have dated, for now I really don’t know. I’m still thinking this one over, and I don’t want to make a rushed decision for this ask >m< No. Neither of them ever feel like taking a break. They have small arguments here and there but neither of them can stay mad at the other for too long. Someone always caves in at the end of the day and apologizes. That being said, their existences doesn’t rely on each other completely. They’re their own people, still, and have their own things to do. Boris wants to go on a weekend fishing trip with only Kamal and Wallus? No problem, Li Lee will stay at home and finish watching a TV series or reading a book she wanted to in peace, and vice versa.

40. Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

Well, the whole Habitat business is a big special memory in it’s own way haha I have something in mind, a big moment for them, but it’s not completely developed yet so I think I’ll skip out on this question for now and answer it once I flesh out the moment a bit >:3c As for places they like going- I suppose now that its financially possible for Li Lee, she like taking Habit to visit her family in Europe (she’s slavic, just ignore the fact her name is not at all slavic sounding /)u(\ ) and it’s special to the both of them. Her family became his family as well <3

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #209 & #210

Hello! If you clicked the “John Bryne” tag, well, this is his first stint as penciler. If you want to get to the stuff where he’s taken over the mag entirely, feel free to skip to #232. I’ll drop a link here once I’ve written that issue up.

Sun Sep 8 2019 [01:43 PM] Wack'd: ...huh

[01:44 PM] maxwellelvis: HERBIE! [01:44 PM] Wack'd: I knew HERBIE eventually made his way to the comics but this is a fast turnaround [01:44 PM] maxwellelvis: 😃 [01:44 PM] Wack'd: Also, yes: adorable [01:44 PM] Umbramatic: ben you are indeed cute [01:44 PM] Bocaj: .................... what would A-type be? [01:45 PM] Wack'd: A control freak [01:45 PM] Bocaj: fair [01:45 PM] Bocaj: ALSO: "I was out of town when the contracts needed to be signed" [01:45 PM] maxwellelvis: And much more tolerable when he's not taking Johnny's spot on the team in a cartoon where Reed defeats Magneto with "A WOODEN GUN?!" [01:45 PM] Bocaj: i'm besides myself. What a great stupid handwave [01:46 PM] Wack'd: The real explication is that Marvel had already licensed Johnny to a different company for a live-action film that never materialized [01:46 PM] Bocaj: hahah [01:46 PM] Bocaj: marvel's rights nonsense has always been nonsense [01:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Hard to believe that before She-Hulk and Deadpool, it was the Fantastic Four that were the Marvel heroes who prodded at the fourth wall the most. [01:47 PM] Wack'd:

Ben: Just tell me this, Stretch: he gonna talk back ta me like that cartoon show creep? Reed: HERBIE is a functioning analog computer. I didn't design a robot with a sense of humor.

[01:47 PM] Wack'd: :( [01:47 PM] Umbramatic: pfft [01:47 PM] maxwellelvis: They've always had a touch of that, as writers can't resist using the Four's status as celebrity figures as an opportunity to comment on the comics industry and merchandising and stuff like that. [01:48 PM] maxwellelvis: Like the probably infamous Free Comic Book Day comic [01:48 PM] Wack'd: hahaahahahahaha yaaaaaay

[01:49 PM] Umbramatic: rip ben [01:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh no, he's gone rogue! [01:49 PM] Wack'd: And so the Four and HERBIE set out to find Galactus [01:49 PM] Wack'd: The only being powerful enough to stop Sphinx [01:49 PM] maxwellelvis: SPHINX! [01:49 PM] Wack'd: You might remember the High Evolutionary turned him into a giant brain [01:49 PM] Wack'd: So this'll be tricky [01:50 PM] Wack'd: R'Klll's evil plan was just to shoot him in the back? Kind of an anticlimax

[01:51 PM] maxwellelvis: Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. [01:51 PM] Umbramatic: oof [01:52 PM] Wack'd: I love funhouse mirror space travel

[01:52 PM] Umbramatic: WE'VE REACHED LUDICROUS SPEED [01:53 PM] maxwellelvis: MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET! [01:54 PM] Wack'd: "Oh, Johnny. Just do what I did--take a hiatus until a new writer shows up, half-forgets why you left, and pretend you had a bunch of character development off-panel!"

[01:55 PM] Bocaj: Pfft [01:55 PM] Bocaj: Also Galactus is a giant brain now? [01:55 PM] Wack'd: Also, our first big time-retcon--Johnny was a junior in high school when the team formed [01:56 PM] Wack'd: But now he was "barely out of high school", bumping his timeline up two years [01:56 PM] Wack'd: @Bocaj : Yes. [See issue #175] Though I doubt it's made him any smarter [01:56 PM] Wack'd: This is literally the first time the Sargasso of Space has been mentioned but sure

[01:57 PM] maxwellelvis: Watch out for Space Russians testing new weapons, and for Space Ghost Pirates [01:57 PM] Wack'd: Ben: So this is where the Battlestar Galactica went to die. [01:58 PM] Bocaj: There was something like the sargasso of space in a silver surfer book I read [01:58 PM] Bocaj: But there was a lot of dust and stuff so it was really hard to navigate [01:58 PM] Bocaj: Like a nebula but weirder [01:59 PM] Bocaj: Englehart Surfer [02:00 PM] Wack'd: So it turns out there's a survivor on one of these ships--a guard on a prison transport. He dies almost immediately and begs the Four to stop the escaped prisoners. Ben takes it personal because the guard looks like this

[02:01 PM] Wack'd: "I owe it to him--one monster to another!" [02:01 PM] Wack'd: Never mind that he species probably just looks like that [02:01 PM] Umbramatic: "rude" [02:01 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey the criminals are all also this species [02:02 PM] Wack'd: So there's no thematic point here at all, just dragging out the plot [02:04 PM] Wack'd: One of the criminals makes a break for the Four's ship, but when the Four catch up with him he's already dead. HERBIE denies responsibility, arousing Ben's suspicions. [02:04 PM] Wack'd: Ah, here's the point. It was secretly a Johnny story all along!

[02:06 PM] Wack'd: So hey, incidentally, a thing I should mention: [02:06 PM] Wack'd: This is John Bryne's first Fantastic Four issue! [02:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Huh [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Wolfman's still writing and Bryne won't be taking over that role for another couple of years [02:07 PM] Wack'd: But it's interesting to note [02:08 PM] Bocaj: oh shiz [02:08 PM] Wack'd: There'll be some stopovers at guest artists but he's gonna be our main dude for the next year or so, pencils-wise

Sun Sep 8 2019 [02:09 PM] Wack'd: A day has passed since last issue [02:09 PM] Wack'd: We're taking this ticking clock with the Four aging pretty seriously [02:11 PM] Wack'd: So they're trapped in a meteor storm. Sue and Ben are batting away the meteors. Reed decides they need to jump back to warp but Ben figures they won't make it without him defending the ship and refuses to come back inside [02:11 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny does the only thing he can think of--shoots himself out the airlock without a helmet, forcing Ben to rescue him [02:11 PM] Wack'd: These guys are pretty dumb sometimes [02:12 PM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:12 PM] Umbramatic: oh [02:13 PM] Wack'd: Behold: the only accurate definition of a parsec in sci-fi history. (I googled it)

[02:13 PM] Umbramatic: amazing [02:13 PM] Bocaj: "My calculations must be accurate. Otherwise we're fucked" "Thats... thats not actually a guarantee" [02:14 PM] Wack'd: So, uh [02:14 PM] Wack'd: Apparently eating Poppup caused Galactus to have enough organic matter to rebuild his body? I guess? [02:14 PM] Wack'd: So that's solved [02:15 PM] Wack'd: In the time it took to find Galactus' ship another day passed. We're at 29 hours [02:15 PM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:15 PM] Wack'd: Reed's hair is getting greyer but besides that everyone seems fine [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Women live longer than men. It would make more sense for literally anyone else to get fatigued

[02:18 PM] Wack'd: Galactus refuses to acknowledge them even when they throw stuff at him [02:18 PM] Wack'd: So they go for Plan Curly

[02:19 PM] Wack'd: FREE ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE ZOO [02:19 PM] maxwellelvis: HAHAHAHHAHAHA! [02:19 PM] maxwellelvis: They forgot the tiger stripes [02:20 PM] Wack'd: I dig the hell out of these creature designs

[02:21 PM] Wack'd: Also Sue privately exposits that Storms always die young which is why she'll be the first to go. Fine [02:22 PM] Wack'd: So! They get the attention of Galactus [02:22 PM] Umbramatic: i also dig these creature designs [02:23 PM] Wack'd: And Reed cuts a deal: if Galactus helps them defeat Sphinx, Reed will release him from his vow to never again attack Earth [02:23 PM] Umbramatic: oh [02:23 PM] Wack'd: Galactus agrees, on the condition they retrieve the new Herald Galactus has picked out [02:24 PM] Wack'd: And he teleports them away to complete this task [02:25 PM] Bocaj: FFS REED [02:25 PM] Bocaj: Apparently Dan Slott forgot this story because he has Reed call Galactus out for attacking Earth when he promised not to [02:25 PM] Bocaj: And Galactus is like 'fuck you' [02:25 PM] Wack'd: Maybe that vow gets remade later [02:26 PM] Bocaj: Maybe [02:26 PM] Bocaj: I pity anyone that tries to seriously uphold all continuity [02:26 PM] Bocaj: Its tangled nonsense [02:28 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Galactus is also like "okay this is obvious bullshit and you're gonna stop me from eating Earth again but I have some pride bound up in this so I'm just glad I have the opportunity to try again"

[cleaduvalls]

i watched all 20 episodes of spy kids: mission critical in about a week and here are my thoughts (3/5)

1.9

i havent watched this in like 2 days i dont even remember what happened last time

why is everything in the desert the desert sucks

alsjhiajgdf i love tom kenny

listen i know hes like a superandroid or whatever but i really hope he and therese fall in love

wait hold up. i thought they already had midterms???? like the did that before scorpion went to her fashion shoot. AND they were kupkakkes midterms. whats up with this school

no drinking in class???? rude. let them hydrate

that seems imbalanced

aHh

thats only like 10

also that book is dummy thicc

its ok ace my nose whistles too

shut up carmen youre just jealous because shes pretty

there are no seasons its a desert

ok dude stop breathing so hard

he JUST said that

anywhere between an hour and umm... 11 months

you put it on one page why are all the pages back

me but with physics

thats literally the best line in the whole series

juni how do you not know that you were at a safe H O U S E

theyve been gone for like 2 hours are they not allowed to study?????

what even is AWOL???

absent without leave. neat

talon gives off some big draco energy

tick tock???? how dare you

slkdhfa she called sir awesome honey shes such a mom

dont make it obvious

oh look they made it obvious

roll credits

i was in cleveland when i watched this episode - well actually i left that day - and i was s h o o k e t h

also hes right. no spy would be in cleveland. theres 3 buildings

oh me too

right bc shes the only “I.A.”

ew

eW

this isnt HARRY POTTER. or maybe it is. talon is a hardcore draco

oh right bc swearing is for Men™

update tumblr decided to break AGAIN (im boutta cry btw) so we lost about 5 minutes from the end of 1.9 and 7 from the beginning of 1.10

1.10

its a DOORBELL do they not have those in the outback steakhouse

lots of people. doofenshmirtz, other people who i cant think of right now, etc

???? no it wont????

did your troop leader not give you The Talk??? you NEVER go in the customers house

ace no. youre allowed to not buy treats

theres a triforce on her vest, too

shes just gonna go to another house yall. shell be f i n e

oh my God shes holding hands with mauly im gonna c r y

yeah its called saliva

nope only scorpion lives in a castle

stop bringing up spy sense and tell him you saw her glare at you

HES ALLOWED TO LIKE FOOD

how do you know that he doesnt have his phone if YOU dont know where it is and HE cant tell you

i love how she says "floor. ceiling. more thumb"

haha i found the birth of venus

oh and the creation of adam

hes like squidward, which would make sense bc goldies voiced by tom kenny who voices spongebob

"sebastian oliver" "shadow operative" S.O. nice

why do you have a trailblazers badge. youre 4. i didnt get one til i was a cadette

also sebastian???? isnt that the toymakers first name????? you cant have 2 sebastians

also why do you have braces. youre still 4

"SIR MEANIE FACE" IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME ID BE D E V A S T A T E D

SCORPION LET HER CRY SHES F O U R

so really, spy sense DID help

oooooh, sentry duty, thats gotta hurt

WHAT THE H E C K YOURE F O U R

she looks like frickin plushtrap

aCE NO YOURW GONNA D I E

oh trust me they hurt me more than you know

dude theyre so thin youre f i n e

eh, still worked

clicking her teeth together so hard must H U R T

i think she can get out of there. also shes concussed now

why was that so quiet. why did it get louder

thats not a y shape

no, they spy kids

oh shiitake mushrooms thats what THEY said

whenever they say pinnoquinoxx i always think of pinnochio

ahdhhsjak i miss pizza parties 😔

well now we ALL expect it

also, no one????? pick a cooler code name. your regular name was cool and now youve ruined it

2.1

oh theres finally a skip intro option. im not taking it

stop saying that its weird

EWWWWWW CRUSTY THATS SO G R O S S

haha shes shopping w the goon. love that

oh yeah i didnt get to tell yall yet but i absolutely h a t e gablet

a lot of people, juni

listen i know a jt (but he doesnt go by jt) and uhhhhhhh were not gonna go there

why are you happy. what about second semester makes you so happy

boi thats a tardis

the design on his hoverboard looks like the aperture science logo

i paused to read the Floops label and it says "fried corn and sugar loop shaped breakfast substitute, net wt. 13 oz" ITS NOT EVEN A CEREAL ITS A BREAKFAST SUBSTITUTE IM C R Y I N G

listen i know hes technically scorpions dad but i dont think he can legally be in the dorm rooms

aww, thats sweet

i dont think gablet has an attached printer

gablet always sounds like shes mocking people

oh dear God its dolores umbridge

haha nerd

awesome no im gonna die

whenever carmen yells she sounds like link

ok so i didnt find a reason why she sounds like link but i DID find that theyre making a wherea waldo tv series so uhhhh thats fun

why does the cat have a bandaid

GABLET S T O P

OH!!!!!! ON THE WALL!!!!!!! ITS THE TUMBLR POST WITH THE FORK AND KNIFE ETIQUETTE PICTURE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!!

oh no fart jokes

its even the basic fart sound effect

BAHAHAH MY PHONE VIBRATED AT THE SAME TIME HE FARTED THAT WAS WEIRD

oh no i hate him

stop SLURPING

uh yeah???? you heard them yelling about it

how??? does that work??? you cant just like catch electricity in a cup.... can you???? i havent studied it since 4th grade

oh worm??

goldies such a boomer

worm??

psi shouldnt be at the drawing board right now. he also shouldnt be confused

what happened to the lasers

wait nvm we havent gotten to that episode yet

ace is valid, dark is Scary

im gonna punch gablet in the face

that doesnt sound realistic

do you not have stairs??????

dont you mean inside AND out??

that flashlight did NOTHING

how did it die so fast?????

who else would you be talking to??

isnt that bowser from the mario movie we dont speak of??

i havent gotten a chance to tell yall but i absolutely love clemp. hes such a mood

hes the greatest spy

does it use a mini transmooker???? ig it doesnt bc gablet works but thatd be lit

SEE SHES IMMORTAL

me when i see something interesting

ME WHEN IM NOT ON MY PHONE

i dont think you can legally say that

you killed her

me

wow nice promo

also just???? bring a charger????? like youre the tech girl why do you not have one at all times

how?????? did you go so fast

machete electric bubbles??? nice

just task manager him

mother of all boards sounds like it could be a cuss...mother of all fuckers

also throwback to 1.7 when she says "his ai firewalled his motherboard" i keep expecting her to say "his ai firewalled this motherfucker"

yes i said keep ive watched that episode too many times to count

worm??

why did you giggle and make a flirty pose. are yall supposed to get together???

did you????? kill him????????? holy shit

2.2

thats what my dad does. he loves hospital corners

idc what it is you have a bazooka

ok if it was a spider id get it, australia has some deadly ones, but does it have deadly ants too???? like is that a Thing????

also ants in your room are gross

was that just a cameo??? i dont remember what happens in this one

haha because he said grapevines and wine has dregs and wine is made of grapes

for the boys??? thats so cute

listen idc how evil you are EVERYONE should cry over otters

so one of the parents has a sister or sister in law named roxanna..... hmmm.......

if you dont use your turn signal h*ck u

hes gonna D I E

i just looked at my shoe and i think theres blood on it???? what the h*ck

suspicious??? about.... what???? having fears???? not being perfect?????

juni that was awful wording

JUNI WHAT DID YOU D O TO HIM

like i know what he DID but the way it plays out makes it seem like something significant

i thought his name was heavy meddle not.... deth metal???? thats how the subtitles spell it

hahah me

he sounds like bling bling boy

yeah ik im a fool thanks for reminding me

what are you gonna do??? kill juni????

POOR WORD CHOICE JUNI

oh he gives exactly 0 h*cks

a shoe doesnt make that sound

crack bugs?????

see thats why you dont mess with things

im a god among boys??????? what????

did you... kill them????????????

thats any australian person

theyre so stupid i love them

good i hate her

i thought the gunk just like... disappeared from the guitar but actually it shot off

he died... 😔

uhh.... yeah????? was it not obvious?????

me when i have 5 dollars