#so i got a LOT of complaints that my art was just too dark LMAO

[vodid]

I really hope this doesn't come across wrong because I don't mean any shade or criticism, just genuinely curious. Why have you progressively muted color in your artwork over the years? Again, I don't mean anything negative. Your artwork is truly gorgeous, and the softer colors suit your style and make it stand out. I'm just genuinely curious since you've mentioned it yourself several times, and I'm someone who struggles with color theory to begin with. Is it a conscious choice, brighter palettes being overstimulating, some combination, etc.? Thank you for sharing your art, and I apologize profusely if this was a bad question to ask.

you're all good! i love sharing my journey. i get this question a lot and all i can really say is uh my brain took color theory a little too seriously and now it can't stop its subconscious descent

basically, once i learned color theory in 2019/2020, my brain hooked onto that concept and could match a lot of colors to a specific hue in the canvas

unfortunately for me, this extended to clip studio paint's UI (and the gray canvas i'd start out with) and it started to influence my palettes. gradually, as i got better with color, the desaturation/low contrast took over because of it. and it just progressively gets worse lol

my old laptop (used 2015–early 2020) had the WORST display for art with insanely inaccurate colors, so i wasn't able to delve too much into less intense palettes until i had gotten my gaming laptop in june 2020. along with that, the UI of my old laptop's clip studio was much lighter and higher contrast than that of its current one

here is a great example of how my art's progressed over time

i think a major pivotal point into my current style (which if you asked me at the time, i would've said nah my style was already desaturated oh boy was it not looking at my art now) was doing huevember, where i had created my own prompts with muted colors. the extreme palette of that event just absolutely set my brain on its path and you can tell by the end of that month (done bottom right first, top left last)

i do find it a lot easier on the eyes, which absolutely is a reason why i still follow it so strongly. i don't do well with bright screens, which is why i ditched the white canvas SO quickly in 2017 when i first started out. funny enough, nowadays i have to turn my brightness up so far just to be able to better see my art ...which absolutely kills my eyes if i switch to my light mode browser or something lol

my art's definitely softened up too since a) switching from pencil to gouache to rectangle brush, and b) colored lineart and then painting over lineart. it's a combination of things, yes but mostly just my brain like to play "match the colors" n all ahaha

that's my ramble 😌 thank you! <3

[destructivisms]

hi!! i found out you accept ship requests so i decided to send one. i'd like to know about the ship and who would be my best friend if possible 🫶 i'll be ok with any character from the show.

i'm a bi woman, with dark red hair and black eyes. i have a lot of tattoos and piercings on my nose and lip. i mostly dress classic, since i work as a psychologist. i graduated from university a couple of years ago, and since then, i've been working in a clinic with children with autism. my first language is russian.

in my free time, i draw! i have a blog dedicated to fanarts, and i also draw comms. i'm a huge bookworm, i love reading classics and modern prose the most, i have a tiktok acc about books in russ, i mainly talk about my favorite writers (aka nabokov and dostoevsky). when i was in high school, i won a competition for the best poem. i am not a fan of fantasy, but i have a tattoo with a dragon in honor of a song of ice and fire by grrm (i adore this book series).

i am not a very social person. I have a few friends, but i like spending time alone more. when i was a child, i really loved Harry Potter and always dreamed of being a ravenclaw, but all the tests put me in slytherin😭.

i am intj and a gemini (although i dont believe in astrology). now i am very busy with work, but i try to study always and improve my english and maybe even start learning spanish. i hope i sent enough information.

thank you very much!! 🤍🤍🤍

hello hello!! thank you for sending this one in (love how my ship requests attract fellow multilingual baddies lmao), hope you like it 🫶

I ship you with...

KIMIKO

the two coolest gals in the entire world actually.

You two meet at a coffee shop. It's a lazy afternoon, you're taking your time at a table in the corner with your drink and pastry of choice. But the main reason you're there is to draw — you decide to practice in a different environment, so observational drawing it is. It's been a while since you arrived, you've sketched a few faces of people passing by, objects, the refractions of light coming in through the window.

Your eyes search around for the next subject and then you see her — the woman who just sat down with a cup of tea and a piece of cake. She's got a little smile on as the guy by her side mutters a string of complaints about how this soggy atrocity can't even be called a real croissant. You draw them both for a while, but you really fixate on her; the myriad gestures and strong expressions she replies to him with are so interesting to try and replicate. And she's very cute.

You're so immersed in drawing her, you're caught by surprise when you lift your eyes from the sketch and she's looking back at you with a smile. Caught red-handed!

She approaches you, typing something in her phone, and when she shows you the screen she wants to see the drawings. She lights up with the sketch page and starts typing a string of compliments on her phone (you're already smiling too, at that point). She then asks for your pen to scribble something in the corner. Her friend then calls her and she waves goodbye and you know that cute smile will stay in your head forever.

When you look back at the sketch, you see she wrote down her name — KIMIKO, in block letters — and her number.

Your first text to her is a picture of the drawings — a sketch page filled with her various expressions. Crude sketches, gesture drawing and facial expressions practice mostly, but in her replies she's amazed. She asks to see more of your art and you send her the link to your blog!!

And that, my friend, is how Kimiko becomes your No. 1 fan

You two start chatting a lot, like, A LOT (you don't know this from your side of the conversation, but Frenchie sees her giggling at the screen and asks what is it, and Butcher is constantly telling her to put down the goddamn phone. Kimiko finds out she really likes texting)

(and she really likes you too)

It takes a while for you to see each other again, but by the time you do meet you're already "pen pals" (text pals?) and friends.

This time, you plan to go together to a street fair — it's your first in-person encounter with Kimiko in around a month, and you're friends now, so why are you nervous...?

Oh my God it's a date

Not that any of you make it explicit, but it is SO a date

You spend a wonderful day listening to live music, tasting good food, looking at the vendors and chatting. Kimiko might be non-verbal but those fingers can TYPE — she's incredibly lively, with a wide smile, and to be fair she's the one that does most of the "talking" in the conversation.

Also because she feels so comfortable with you, and how you navigate the conversation. You never make her feel like she's slowing things down by typing or seem less interested in what she has to say.

There's one specific vendor in the fair that's a stand for used books, and you use it as a prerogative to talk away about your love for classics (she ends up buying a book you recommend — insert here the Russian classic you'd recommend to her).

After that? It's a date and EVERYONE knows it.

Frenchie tells her all the time to make a move and invite you to another one. He thought you seemed nice (saw you once) and already shipped you both (read a single text). But he sees how Kimiko acts when texting you and talking to you — C'est l'amour, mon coeur, need I say more?

You go on a series of dates after that, each one more explicitly romantic than the previous one, until your connection eases into a relationship without you even noticing. It's just so natural to be with her.

The word "girlfriend" is first used, though, when Kimiko introduces you to THE BOYS. That's the main aspect of her life, and even though she'd like to protect you, fighting is the only way she knows how to — her family has to know you too. So Kimiko, smiling by your side, types Everyone, this is my girlfriend.

She often likes watching you draw — the expression of concentration on your face as you pour your heart into a piece. There's something really special to her about making art, Kimiko herself loves little crafts and probably picks up drawing because of you.

Both of you definitely have silent hang outs in which you do your art or read books, listen to music, have a good drink of coffee/tea and chill together.

You immediately melt, of course. It's official. And now you have this bunch of dudes who will also protect you (because lord knows what Kimiko would do if they didn't).

Getting introduced to the team, then, brings you to a great friendship with...

MARVIN "M.M." MILK

braincells of the team duo!

Not gonna lie, I was torn between M.M. and Kimiko for the ship, but the more I thought about it the more I liked your friendship.

You get to know him when Kimiko introduces him to The Boys, but he already knew about you — all of them did — just by how much she texted you. All the time.

And when he meets you, he's so pleasantly surprised by how much of a good influence you are — not that he thought ill of you, it's just that in that world they've all learned to suspect anyone.

But M.M. vibes with you from the start: your level-headedness and drive don't manifest through coldness, but rather are something that he can connect with. You're as logical and practical as him.

Also I imagine your work as a psychologist gives you a mental tool set to de-escalate conflict, ground people, and get to the root of the problem, that he really appreciates. As the member of the team that's trying to keep them together and do the right thing, you're someone M.M. would love to have by his side.

You're not officially a part of The Boys, but M.M. soon starts going to you as a sort of advisor and friend — sometimes he needs someone to remind him of the right path to take, or simply a friendly shoulder to hear about all the shit he has to put up with because of these guys.

(Also, since the show implies Janine might also have OCD, or is dealing with anger issues in general, he absolutely goes to you for advice)

But enough about your profession, he also gets book recommendations from you (who wouldn't, you're so cool).

I loved @ brynnterpretations's hc that M.M. has Goodreads clout so I am absolutely incorporating it to say he boosts your book TikTok there, even though he does not speak Russian.

All in all, you've got yourself really good people by your side :)

[wherearemyglassesbro]

i saw that you play genshin impact, so i’m kind of curious... what’d be the axis and allies’ vision and weapons?

Uh oh...now you got me started. Be warned, it’s a long one cause I have no self control

Some key terms for those who don’t play genshin impact and want to be included!!

Cryo -> ice, Hydro -> water, Dendro -> nature, Geo -> rock, Pyro -> fire, Electro -> lightning

Hilichurls: a common enemy found in the wild. Despite looking like hairy trolls, they have a district language as well as texts, art and song that they share together making them an advanced species!

Ruin guards: another enemy. Giant, scary robot...they scare me...

Knights of Favonious: an organization of knights within Mondstat that keep order and peace :) very nice guys and gals over there!!

Mondstat: modeled after Germany

Liyue: modeled after China

Alfred: pyro, claymore, Springvale Mondstat

Alfred would be a super heavy hitter in battle but his drawbacks are that despite his energetic nature, he’s slower because of the weight of his weapon

He blows stuff up a lot and sets all of the grass around you on fire so if you fight with him...His teammates will take damage from him Jeez Louise!!!

Since we don’t have all of the nations of Teyvay unlocked, I don’t know where he’d be from! I’d have to explore to get a sense for it so for characters that don’t have a place on the map yet, I’ll mark them with an asterisk from now on! :)

Idk where he lives but I do know that he’d be a devoted member of the adventurers guild! He’s always willing to offer a helping hand to anyone in need! Wether it be helping Granny Ann make hash browns or taking comissions to go kill a huge ruin guard who’s terrorizing the town!! He’s always leaping into new jobs! He isn’t even in it for the money or rewards! He just loves helping out!

Arthur: Dendro, archer, Mondstat

Artie is a beast in battle! Shooting vine Aries at enemies to tie them up or temporarily blind them??? Sick as fuck. Keep in mind, Genshin doesn’t have any Dendro characters that are playable yet so idk how they’d fight but I think I can guess :)

Artie is technically part of the knights of favonious because he works in their library. He translates books written in ancient texts into the standard language so historians and others can read what the old civilizations had to say

Instead of having normal eyes, they’re slit like snake eyes. And he has leaves instead of hair :)

He has a little seelie that floats around at his side. He talks to it but it doesn’t really do anything but provide company to a lonely guy :’) he needs more friends

Matthew: Anemo, catalyst, *

It’s always good to have a catalyst on your team! Ningguang is a great example of an underestimated catalyst cause she can do INSANE damage man!! So I think Mattie would be the same way

Matt isn’t violent and doesn’t enjoy fighting so his in-game voice lines would say that lol

Mattie is an alchemist! Well...A student alchemist. He didn’t take up an interest in alchemy until like, 3 years ago so he’s got a lot to catch up on still! He’s doing his best!

He gets very annoyed with Alfred since Mattie is detail oriented and gentle...Alfred is not any of those things. But he still loves his brother and on rare occasions, he’ll assist him with his commissions

Ivan: Cryo, catalyst, Liyue(temporary)

Ivan would be a support character for sure but he’d do a damn good job of doing it

He’s buff but he doesn’t do hand to hand combat, he’s mastered magic for a reason

Ivan spends most of his time studying hilichurls. He writes books about them, translates their texts and acts as a peace keeper when he can. He gets information from them about the Abyss Order in return for free reign of small portions of protected land where they can live without fear of being killed

Because he’s from Schneznya(spelling?) he’s kinda expected to be a bad guy but he left a long time ago. But he still sounds like he’s from there and...He’s super pale too so there really is no mistaking where he’s from

Ivan can’t stand how ignorant humans are towards hilichurls so he does everything he can to advocate for them. He’s covered in scars from when he first started engaging with the beasts. A huge scar runs down his face but he doesn’t mind it

He’s got big, sharp teeth!! So he doesn’t often smile cause he thinks he looks weird

Francis: Hyrdo, long sword, *

Fran is underestimated when it comes to combat (like Kaeya...I see you slandering this man) but he has so much potential!

Since he’s a hydro, he is so useful for elemental reactions! If he’s paired with a cryo or pyro user, he’d totally boost them!!

Fran is a traveling entertainer, he goes between the 7 nations as a singer and actor for small stage plays. He has a crew of friends who travel with him, they’re one jolly bunch!

He always acts all nonchalant and stuff but once he’s in a battle, he’s wild. Especially if the abyss order holds up his crew on their way to their next tour destination “We need to be in Liyue Harbor in four hours you are NOT holding us back!” *tidal wave*

He’s a regular tavern hopper! A very recognizable face since he’s been banned from a handful for getting too rowdy

He can make not one, but 2 special dishes :0

Yao: Dendro, polearm, Liyue

I just imagine him as a shorter, richer and cooler version of Zhongli

He’d do that kick move that Zhongli does with his polearm oh man that looks SICK dude!!!

Yao would shoot vines out and they’d strangle enemies for a few seconds before disintegrating but if he’s leveled up enough, they’ll totally strangle those stupid hillichurls lol

Yao sells rare gems and other miscellaneous items for very high prices in Liyue where he grew up. His shop is upstairs by the Fatui bank. Rich people enjoy looking at what his shop has to fifer and will argue prices with him. They’re getting scammed for sure. He’ll list a set of cor lapis earrings as $50,000 and the rich will be like ‘I’ll pay $25,000, no more than that’ and he’ll take it!!....Cause thise earrings are worth $5000 at most >:)

Hes close with a lot of the higher ups in Liyue and is often invited to fancy lunches or dinners where they discuss policy, contracts and vendor permits. He doesn’t really get a say in any of that but he benefits from listening

Kiku: Electro, claymore, *

Kiku would be SUCH an awesome electo user are you KIDDING me??? I can see it now, him swinging that huge sword around, purple lightning bolts flying all around and he looks like a total badass? Amazing vibes

When paired with cryos???? He’d do an insane amount of damage fr

Kiku runs a small restaurant where he...runs the place...but doesn’t cook. His restaurant is extremely exclusive and people often throw fits when they can’t get in cause the wait list is over 5 years long. He’ll rest his hand on their shoulder and smile ‘is something wrong? I’d love to take a complaint if you have one’...No one has even dared to complain to his face lol

Behind the restaurant front he deals with the Fatui, buying and selling minerals or artifacts. That’s where his knowledge is at, not with food. He pays his staff to ignore what goes on behind the scenes and the locals are too busy enjoying the restaurant to question what goes on after dark

Gilbert: Pyro, long sword, Mondstat

Gil would be one of the free characters given to you at the beginning of the game but hey, I’m not complaining

He’s highly destructive and very chaotic in battle, he can do that spin move even though that’s meant for claymore users

He’s Mondstat’s biggest trouble maker. He runs an underground gambling room that sits underneath a tavern. He isn’t really into gambling but he makes a lot of money by running it

The only knight who knows is Ludwig which is not good cause...Gil pretty much bribes his brother into not telling the knights of favonious (peace keepers of Mondstat)

Gil never got his gliding certificate cause he kept flying into buildings. He broke his nose doing that lol

Lovino: Pyro, catalyst, *

I can’t add anymore images so imagine a floating, red and black orb. Lovi doesn’t get a book catalyst cause he doesn’t read :) That’s the catalyst thing I’m talking about 😅😅

My guy has the angriest in game voice lines, he’s inconvenienced by every battle, every enemy is ugly and a fuckin disaster. He’s just. Angry.

He’d be a super weak character if he needed to rely on hand to hand combat but he learned magic for a reason babey

He owns a flower stand in his country and makes all kinds of beautiful flower arrangements. He even picks his own flowers in the fields when he can (but usually pays the town’s children to do it for him to ‘teach them the value of hard work’).

Everyone knows he’s a total hothead and will piss him off on purpose just cause it’s funny lmao. But then somehow...Their hair or clothes will just...catch on fire. So is it really worth it to tease him? :/

Feliciano: Hydro, archer, Mondstat(temporary)

I feel like Feli would also be a free character, not cause he isn’t good or anything! But you always need an archer on your team!

Feli has healing properties for his team and doesn’t do an insane amount of damage but when given the right resources, he’d be a pretty sick healer

He moved to Mondstat to join the church there. He leads prayers in front of the church and sings in the choir inside.

He is the sweetest and has never committed a crime in his LIFE but he’s afraid of the knights lol he’s terrified that he’ll get in trouble and be kicked out of Mondstat forever! That would never happen but he’s a worry wart cause of his brother

Ludwig: Geo, long sword, Mondstat

Lud is the only one that I could really think of as a Geo but Geos are awesome :)

He’s a hard hitter but has like...No shield so he’ll take damage fast if you don’t give him those artifacts with shield in them or whatever lol uhhhh I wouldn’t know anything about that cause I suck at building my teams ;-;

He’d totally be in with the knights of favonious! (I think that’s spelled right lol) but he’d take his duty as a knight very seriously!! He’s a familiar face around Mondstat, the elderly absolutely adore him and the local teenage girls swoon over him which he finds super embarrassing lol

He has to work hard to keep Gilbert in check cause even though Gil isn’t a knight, his actions reflect negatively back on Lud very often... :(

Please ignore the spelling errors and terrible photo cropping on my part lol this was so fun!!

By the time you’re seeing this, ive already made full outfit red sheets for everyone mentioned above!!!! :D

[roccinan]

I'm risking sounding terribly egoistical by sending a public ask about my own url here but I'm doing it!!!!! I need the super graphic-details

Your ego is my ego, dearest nharidy. There's a reason the doc is named after you hahaha

[ 👉 My Wips ]

OK so the Absolvisti sequel's been sitting in my head since well, the week after I published it lmao. But I never got around to writing because I wasn't sure if it was being too self-indulgent (I'm feeling more confident about it now that I know you'll be pleased by it!). Also because I was having trouble deciding on a pov: should I continue with the Tatiana 1st person pov as always? Change it up to Martin 3rd person? or surprise: 1st person Don Juan?? Should it be a new chapter or new fic? (def. open to suggestions here!) Also I think it'd be Iconic to publish a story in the Dies Irae universe with our new cat profile pics.

Graphic detail time :D Prepare for a SUPER LONG answer LMAO. Most of the things I mentioned here and here will make their way in, with maybe a bonus ns/fw chapter from Martin or Andres' pov. The main story is SFW however, and there's like a hilariously high amount of hurt!Andres, who doesn't have demons to rely on anymore but still carries all the permanent damage the demons left on him:

It takes place some months after Absolvisti so Andres is doing better, but not fully well yet. He's not actively dying anymore but he does faint a lot and isn't exactly making a full recovery. Because I wanted to make things harder for Martin. Because he's not a young man anymore, the wounds were super extensive, and this is the result of years of accumulated damage + a form of "withdrawal" (the shadows/demons that used to feed on him were also the things that kept him alive so it's one big cycle that his body isn't leaving that easily).

This means every time Martin plans something nice for him like seeing a play or going out for a nightly walk, Andres can't go through the whole thing without feeling unwell. (Martin: "I over-exerted the love of my life. I am so SELFISH. what does Andres see in me??" Andres: "I disappointed the love of my life. I am the WEAKEST. what does Martin see in me??" Tatiana: feed me, bitches)

They manage to sit through one play though (not sure if I want this at the beginning or end of the fic LMAO). It's the one Bogota wrote, The Necromancer's Lament, a "biopic" about Andres' life. And it's every bit as terrible as Martin expected. Bad special effects, bad acting especially from Martin's actor, Andres' actor has a beard, and Tatiana looks like this:

Andres thinks it's the best play ever. Martin hates it and demands a refund. Tatiana hates it too but Don Juan's like, "mi amor, you are still beautiful to me, even as a deformed puppet."

Martin's 120-page complaints aside, Bogota runs the theatre troupe with his partner, Nairobi/Agata, and they're both going to start teaching performing arts at Santa Catalina because the last drama professor died lmao

Meanwhile, Santa Catalina has a new bad girl student, Tokyo/Silene! Sergio took her in as a charity case after some dark and mysterious events in her life. But Tokyo being Tokyo can't stay away from trouble, and she becomes obsessed with finding the demons that Andres expelled. Some bizarre possessions start happening again and the school's sponsors force Raquel to keep it under wraps. (Raquel: maybe if you increased funding, we wouldn't have so many problems!!)

In the meantime, Martin gets that letter from a long lost relative asking to meet him. Not sure about the order of this either. Anyway, Martin was planning to ignore the relative, but Andres insists he go. Either Tatiana or Don Juan accompany him. Martin learns that he's the sole heir of his dead parents across the sea (the will: “we forgive you for being a heretic, a freak of nature, and the alchemist of Palermo. also no hard feelings for leaving you to die as a baby xoxoxo”). There's one (1) condition though: he has to end his partnership with the necromancer. Martin: NO THANKS.

So while Martin's dealing with this unexpected drama, Sergio decides to call in Andres' expertise TM again because it's also a good excuse to talk to his brother. Martin is Very wary about this and rejects him. But Andres insists that it'll be fine. Plus, maybe he wants to turn a new leaf and help Santa Catalina for nothing in return this time. Not everyone gets a second chance at life and he doesn't want to be a bad person anymore uwu (Tatiana: "Andres was a pretentious piece of shit, surprising no one." Martin: "Nobody deserves Andres, not even me, and I'm like, the most amazing person in the world.")

Andres comes to do the exorcism with the random priest the school hired. And they discover there aren't any demons- it's just some ghost fucking around (maybe I'll make it the spirit of Gandia or Alicia since they haven't shown up yet lol). Anyway, it doesn't go very well but Andres gets rid of the creature or whatever. Not before it punctures a hole in his side though. Then Martin loses it, just full-on screams at Sergio for almost getting Andres killed again, makes a lot of threats against the school, etc. etc.

Raquel, being more useful, plugs up the wound. But the priest accidentally provokes Martin more by asking Raquel if he should mop up Andres' blood with holy water or something. What if the necromancer's blood is cursed?? And now it's all over the floor, so disgusting :/

Martin, already in a very bad mood, beats the priest up.

They go home. Martin's in a really sour mood and he just doesn't understand why Andres isn't mad at Sergio. Martin: "It's really emotionally damaging to me if you don't give a fuck about yourself." Andres makes him even angrier by bringing up the Berrote family will and having the audacity to suggest Martin leave him for money. He makes a huge case about how he literally has nothing to offer Martin except a body that barely works and a terrible reputation. Martin: "I lost a fucking eye for you??"

They fight and Martin storms away, and also kidnaps Don Juan, his honorary new soulmate who would never betray him like Andres.

A while after this, the Spanish Inquisition local clergy arrests Andres for "questioning." Because the shenanigans at Santa Catalina are still going on and that one priest suspects him of being behind everything just because. Raquel's the one who bails him out. She may not like Sergio's brother, but the way everyone else treats him is ridiculous.

Andres limps home, hoping Martin's still away. Surprise! Martin felt guilty and came back. And it's pretty obvious that Andres has just been tortured. Martin: "Say no more. I'm going to kill some people."

Andres gets Martin to not do anything stupid by dropping the thing with the will. He admits he was wrong for saying those things to Martin and he selfishly, genuinely wants to stay with Martin forever. Martin: "I'm still going to kill your brother. You may appease me with a kiss."

Does it end here? No! Because the shit at Santa Catalina is still happening. Andres and Martin solve it for good though. But it's all very dramatic. I'm vaguest about this part, but maybe Nairobi's injured saving Tokyo, and this gives Tokyo the wakeup call to move on from whatever baggage that got her into this mess in the first place. Then Andres' solution for saving Nairobi is to ask Martin to work that alchemist magic and transfer her wounds onto himself (at this point, we're just going overboard with the Andres whump but asdfasdf why stop??). Raquel: Sergio, tell your brother to stop dying. That's a bad example for the kids.

It takes a lot of convincing, but Martin relents in the end, only because he trusts Andres. At this point, Andres has been through so much that he physically cannot take any more damage. Like, he just can't lmao. So the whole process puts Andres into a coma or something. But we don't need him anymore because now we can revel in Martin's angst!

Martin spends the rest of his time crying and angsting and guilt-tripping Sergio, and just being very loud in general. He also writes back to his family and tells them to fuck off.

Once we indulge in enough of Martin's pain, Andres finally wakes up. Still very bad off but he's alive and not showing signs of dying any time soon. So that's good enough for Martin. They have a nice heart-to-heart, and idk, maybe Raquel comes to see them because Sergio's too embarrassed to. Until Andres insists, because he loves hermanito unconditionally uwu. Martin: "watch your back, Sergio. I might murder you in your sleep (:"

Then at the very end (I have no idea how long this story is LOL), there's some kind of family photoshoot between Raquel, Sergio, and Paula. Everyone's raving over this new invention called the "camera." Andres is admiring it from a distance until Raquel's like, "get over here. what part of FAMILY photoshoot do you not understand!?"

Andres is shocked pikachu face because good will towards him for once?? he's being included in something?? people want him around?? what is happening??

Martin's happy for him though. Then he's admiring from a distance until Raquel's like, "I said FAMILY photoshoot. Get over here, Martin!"

Tatiana didn't want to be a part of it, but Paula saw her favorite talking cat and like, grabbed her lmao. Don Juan photobombs it because he can't be excluded from an activity with Tatiana, especially when his former rival Andres is in the photo too. (His current rival is Casanova, an unworthy white cat vying for Tatiana's affections)

Sergio proposes to Raquel. The end! Yes, the kitty love triangle is also a central theme of this story LMAO Hope that satisfies you, nharidy! And I welcome any and all suggestions!

[iiasha-archived]

Hi! I hope you're doing okay. I really love your art is so beautiful 💖 Wanted to know which pencils would you rec to someone that want to start drawing? Thank you in advance. Stay safe!

ahhh hope you’re doing well as well anon, and thank you so much that means a lot ❤️❤️❤️ personally i’m not very picky when it comes to traditional materials... honestly my rec would just be to grab your favorite writing implement and just go for it!! everyone’s different and you’ll start to get a feel for what you like, but you can honestly make anything work.

also under readmore bc this got kind of long sorry lmao these are more like reviews then recommendations

but anyways actual brands; i haven’t tried many as i’m not really a pencil gal and also i’m not sure if you mean graphite or colored but i’ll go over both. it’s also normal for most people to not stick to any one brand but eventually just amass a big collection of stuff they use interchangeably. 

in general the discussion for the best colored pencils is between prismacolors and faber castell polychromos.

i’ve only really used prismas as i’m a big fan of them; they’re extremely smooth/soft to the point where i’d almost describe them as “oily”, and i’ve found almost every other brand too “dry” after using them. they blend super well and are really vibrant overall.

the main complaint i see for them, and where perhaps polychromos does better, is that because prismas are so soft they break easily and are hard to keep a sharp point. you also have to be careful when sharpening them (do NOT run prismas through an electric sharpener); i actually sharpened mine with a box cutter lmao. it’s also really easy to overwork your piece and cause wax blooms if you press too hard.

another thing is both of these brands are kind of pricey... like yes they are amazing quality but it might not be worth it depending on your use cases. 

for graphite pencils... honestly i just use a generic mechanical pencil lmao. for graphite drawings i think brands matter even less; you should care more about the hardness of the graphite:

if you have a controlled hand you can use a single B/2B to achieve most shades, that’s kinda why they’re the standard pencil grade lmao. when i did graphite work i never used anything other than a 4H for really light areas (anything higher is useless unless you have a REALLY hard hand or are doing a lot of extreme detail in light areas), a B/2B for pretty much everything, and then a prismacolor ebony (prob at least a 6B but i’m not sure) for really dark sections. 

the brands i have in my (really old) toolbox are prismacolor and general’s kimberly but again the grades are more important for graphite. while there is a noticeable difference between brands for colored pencils, i think the way graphite pencils are made is pretty standard so you probably won’t see much of a difference between brands. 

[bonni]

idk how this media hyperfixation ask game works, like do you answer to all questions or just the i choose? anyways for one piece: 💢 🏳‍🌈✨🎥💕

💢 what do you NOT like about your hyperfixation? is there something you would want to change about it?

oh fuck, where do i begin? i guess the most obvious is oda’s treatment of women. i don’t think it’s as terrible as people who haven’t read the series thing that it is, but it’s still not great. and actually, the art style isn’t really the part that bothers me, it’s more about misogynistic stereotypes (girls don’t fight, if they do they fight other girls/it’s not melee, girls are the babysitters/serious ones while guys are the fun ones, stuff like that), and the pervert/nosebleed jokes. the first complaint is actually one of the main reasons i love carrot so much, because she shows that oda is able to write female characters who are scrappy and tough and like to have fun, and i hope he continues to do so. i also get really happy when characters like nami and robin are allowed to be kind of dorky and fun, like nami wanting to be a ninja and robin having a ridiculously dark sense of humor. tl;dr, i have hope that oda is getting better when it comes to female characters, but up until now he definitely hasn’t handled them so well.

i also have problems with some of the story arcs, like i think wano has been really boring so far because it feels like the strawhats have been completely sidelined, and i had similar issues back in dressrosa. some arcs definitely have more problems than others, and imo skypeia through marineford is still the most engaging chunk of the series (maybe with thriller bark cut out, because i didn’t like that one too much, lol.)

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

i’m one of the few fans who doesn’t really like any inner-crew pairings (i don’t mind all of them, but i think it’s really cool that oda wants to keep romance out of the series and i think the crew is just better as a family), so even though i do have lgbt headcanons none of them are really for the sake of shipping. but anyways, lesbian nami is so fucking important. usopp and zoro are also gay, robin and franky are bi, and aside from that i… really don’t care. i also think that most of the strawhats have ptsd, nami has ocd, luffy has adhd, and robin has bpd.

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

i’ve been reading one piece since early middle school and what’s always stood out to me about it is its ability to remain interesting and maintain a sense of direction despite its length. with series like naruto and inuyasha, it began to feel like a chore to keep reading, because the authors were so clearly just stretching out the story. one piece is long as shit, but it’s incredibly purposeful; oda is so thoughtful and it’s really evident that he’s been planning this story long-term. i’ve also always loved character driven stories, and “a group of traumatized misfits find family in each other” is like my favorite trope ever, so i love the straw hats. plus i love the fantastical settings like skypeia and whole cake island.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

off the top of my head... luffy ringing the golden bell after defeating enel, usopp shooting down the world govt flag, hiriluk’s cherry blossoms, corazon telling law he loves him..... oh, the iconic vivi sendoff with The Pose (TM), and uhh... carrot drawing the strawhats as a shoujo, lmao. also i don’t watch the anime anymore but my favorite animated scene is luffy punching charlos, it’s even done by one of my favorite animators.

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

CARROT!! i fucking love carrot so much and i want her to become a straw hat so badly...... i liked her right away because uh. she’s cute. but then she quickly became my favorite character because she’s so different from all the other female characters in the series. like i said before, i love that carrot is super strong, i love that she’s a melee fighter, i love that she’s adventurous and irresponsible and a little dumb. she actually reminds me a lot of luffy, who is also one of my favorite characters. plus she gets a totally metal super saiyan form and i really hope we get to see her fight more!

[locria-writes]

Do you mind posting a list of all the good otome games you've played or are really interested in? Or if that's too complicated, maybe a list of your top 10 favourites? I see you posting about them often and I've been wanting to try some of them because...hello hot guys galore...😱😱😱

you don’t know how much i love gushing about otome games and my harem of husbandos (also lmao i’ve outed my terrible tastes here)

pc games

steam prison // so so good, definitely recommend! my only complaint is that you can’t romance Good Boi finn (by proxy depriving us of that wonderful cyrus/sachsen banter), but i guess i can settle for adage lmao. hits a very good balance between humour and seriousness, but it’s a really long game to complete

nightshade // honestly, one of my absolute favourites ever. ost is kickass, sprites are gorgeous, and the plot is pretty good. they’re literally all such good beans ugh i love them all. depending on the play order you do, and whether you do the bad ends or not, it can be not-too-painful sad to wow-just-rip-my-heart-out-and-stomp-on-it sad. goemon is honestly the best though, just saying

hakuouki // i’d recommend both games, but if you can’t afford it, then get edo blossoms, since that’s where most of the romance is. also, they get their western uniforms in that one!!! hachiro is still my best boi (sorry okita, heisuke, harada, and everyone else). suuuuuper long to play through, i think it took me ~60 hrs to complete everything, but it’s a labour of love

amnesia // okay, i trashtalk this a lot, but it’s a solid game except for when they did my boi toma dirty >:c ikki is definitely best boi though. some routes are better than others (read: toma’s route is pretty meh while everyone else has pretty great ones), but ukyo arguably has the best and saddest one. i feel like this is almost an otome staple at this point lmao

nameless // another classic and favourite of mine! yandere galore, more than a little heartbreaking, and wow just wow overall. they’re all such sweet guys (yes, tei and ??? included), and the side characters are all fantastic and very memorable. it’s kinda long though, i think 50+ hrs to finish everything, but oh my god is it worth it. i teared up quite a few times

ozmafia!! // a controversial choice, but i loved all the characters in it, and in the end, the plot did pay off. it just feels like a very cramped and rushed game at times, but the characters make up for it, honestly. i’m just mad over how they did my boi hamelin so fricking dirty #JusticeForHamelin #HamelinDidNothingWrong yes i’m still salty about it

cinderella phenomenon // highly recommend this one since it’s free! it’s probably my favourite oelvn to date -- beautiful art, great storyline, and wonderful characters except when they did my boi varg so so dirty :c the last 2 routes are definitely more painful than the first 3, and way more important to the plot.

the rose of segunda //another oelvn i highly recommend! pretty, a great read, and lovable characters. there’s a secret romance too, and holy god it was so good! frederique and mc are so great together, and i honestly fell so hard for leopold because w o w  i love me an ambitious man like him

monochrome heaven* // i have so many feelings about this one, but i’ll still recommend it lol. it’s very...depressing and can get difficult to read at times. honestly, it says a lot when the worst boi turns out to be the best boi. i remember just feeling so hollow after finishing the game, but it was worth the hours i invested

‘till death do us part* // a very questionable addition to this list, but i really liked it. marcus and jack are probably the most ‘romantic’ of the bunch, but i guess it’s not really an otome game

boyfriend to death 1 & 2* // 2 more questionable choices a la the above, but i enjoyed them both. lawrence, damien, and strade were my favourite guys

mobile games

ikemen sengoku // l o o k, i’m a sucker for the sengoku era, beautiful art, and great casting choices for voices okay??? i like playing softer and more light-hearted games sometimes, and this is the perfect game for that. honestly, every single guy is likable and none of them treat mc terribly (yes, including the yandere, the snek, and the playboy).

ikemen revolution // honestly, the same as the above. a great light read, lovable cast, and beautiful art. also, super stoked for mousse atlas to get over here because i’ve already decided that i’m completely in love with him

ikemen vampire // yeah, i know this isn’t out yet in english, but from what i played of jpn and what i’ve read of translations, i love it already. kinda feels like fate meets otome, and i love all the character designs, voices, and concepts

samurai love ballad party // like ikemen sengoku, but angstier lmao. i don’t really like the art and the sprites, but the story and characters are great, so i don’t really mind. i just wish my faves would stop being such disasters (ieyasu, sakuya, nobuyuki, kotaro)

love and producer/mr love queen’s choice // HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOUR BAI QI/GAVIN???? if you’ve played love nikki, it’s the same kind of grind, but i don’t even care??? the cards are beautiful??? the bois are all so wonderful and cute and perfect (yes, even shady af scientist)???? have i told you how wonderful and perfect my husband bai gege is??? also, download the japanese voice pack, the eng dub is kinda crappy

mystic messenger // so time-consuming, but so addicting lol. very fun, surprisingly dark, and all the characters are great (except for rika, we all hate rika). 707 is my home boi, but saeran is fantastic and i demand a proper unknown route because i want to get terrified by this lovely edgy angsty kid

my last first kiss // i can sell this in 3 words -- childhood friend romance. like, that’s my jam right there. i love the guys and their relationships with mc (fussy ayato is so cute, and mako and taka are so so sweet with mc). super fun and sweet read

lust in terror manor* // an elusive horror otome! it’s too bad it never got properly completed, but i guess there’s some kind of closure? translation’s kinda crappy, but good enough to read. rui and naoto were kinda meh, but hayato was the best boi, sorry i don’t make the rules.

several shades of sadism* // okay i can explain -- i love trashmen, i love guys with serious emotional baggage, and i love guys with flaws that make them oh so very real. minato is my favourite trashbag and i actually almost cried during his route because even though he’s an asshole, he’s really trying his best

cinderella contract* // this is where you realize i have no taste/standards whatsoever. trashy, i know, but goddamn i’m so invested in this. yuri is the trashiest of them all, and therefore he’s my husband sorry i don’t make the rules

princess of the moon* // ah yes, the trashiest of the trashy and i’m so ashamed i read this, let alone enjoy it as much as i do. very very smutty but i’m disappointed my boi dean didn’t get released on the og app

(*) -- game contains dubcon/noncon and just very questionable content in general. not for the faint of heart at all

[ashwalkersblog]

Need help...

So lately I have been yelled at recently by my managers and boss which has brought me to dark times. So recently we have lost a lot of staff at my work place because of stupid reasons and what not but a few days ago, one of my managers decided to act completely out of line and leave before their shift ended. That put the team wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy behind. This manager said and I quote: “I took someone from grill to make them help her but she bitched and moaned about and said shit about it, I don’t think I offended her by comparing her to a different co worker and I totally didn’t mean to do anything wrong. But I know this young lady is lying her butt off because she knows she will either be fired or sent home and it will be her fault that second shift fails tonight.” I seriously stared at her then at my boss then back at her and straight up said, “Are you serious. Are you SERIOUSLY going to lie like that then act like you’re innocent. Are you seriously gonna threaten to send me home when I am the ONLY person on front counter?” They were dead silent. Pay days comes around and I look at my check and see that I only got paid like 150 dollars. I have shit I have to BUY in order to live. I have to buy gas, my own food (due to not being able to stomach some things), buy cat treats, and ect. But I asked them why I only got paid this much and they said that I have to many excused and I had bad complaints on my name from when someone stuck their hand in their pants to having someone say that isn’t really teamwork. Note I was on front counter (which I hate a lot) by myself trying to take over 10+ orders.  Side note: I will NOT say the name of where I work or who I work for but this is a tiny story to my long rant lmao

Anyways I am doing commission and videos for money so I can pay for gas and buy tiny snacks for myself. I need at least 20 dollars for a full tank of gas. I know I don’t have any right to beg anyone for money and I shouldn’t be force to act like a useless idiot but this is my only way to get money without going into debt more with people I owe money too. I only get paid every 2 weeks on a Tuesday. Meaning I get paid on 8/27/19. That’s a long two weeks and I have 2 bars left of gas. (Honestly I don’t know long that will last me but tell me in the notes if that will last longer than 2 weeks) And I kinda just need something to help me in case I have like one bar left of gas.  My paypal info is: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme2/ashwalker101 Commission info: https://ashwalkersblog.tumblr.com/post/187067994369/art-for-sale-please-help-me-out If you can’t buy a commission or donate please spread this around so people know and can help me out. Thank you!! -Ash

[ddaengjo]

love me like you do ┊ hwang hyunjin

genre: best friends to lovers au, fluff, angst

pairing: reader x hyunjin

warnings: cursing, drinking, infinity war spoilers

summary: you had been best friends with hwang hyunjin since grade school. you both knew each other like the back of your hand, and you shared everything with one another. in fact, all your friends joked that you’d eventually get married, settle down, and have five kids. of course, the both of you just saw that as funny, since you were both currently dating other people. but that was before everything became a complete mess.

author’s note: this is my first fic! i hope you all like it, because i definitely enjoyed writing it. (p.s. ― i use all lowercase when not writing formally, but in all my writing pieces i make sure to capitalize and use proper grammar!)

You're the light, you’re the night You’re the color of my blood You’re the cure, you’re the pain You’re the only thing I wanna touch Never knew that it could mean so much, so much

It was the sound of your phone buzzing loudly that woke you up at 2:30 a.m., groggy and angry and ready to fight the world. You groped around your bedside table, trusting your fingers rather than your sleep-blurred eyesight ― considering you were already myopic to the point that you could barely see something three feet away without your glasses on, you could trade eyesight with a bat and still be better off at this early hour. After a long while of uncomfortable straining,  you finally sighed in victorious relief, your fingers closing around the smooth case of your phone. Dropping it onto your pillow beside you, you squinted at the bright screen, trying to adjust to the sudden burst of light in the dark room. You swiped your finger across the screen, unlocking it, and opened your texts to find new messages from your best friend, Hyunjin.

[2:30 a.m.]  Y/N Y/N Y/N

You groaned, rolling your eyes and falling back against the pillows, debating on whether to answer his text or just leave him on read. Your innate sense of compassion (Hyunjin always swore that you were nothing but Satan, while everyone else who WASN’T your best friend since grade school and DIDN’T clown you for a living always called you a sweetheart) won the battle, and you ended up answering. But that didn’t mean you were going to play nice.

[2:33 a.m.]  hwang hyunjin you better have a good reason for this because if i weren’t so fucking tired i’d punch you in your perfect teeth.

[2:38 a.m.]  aw good morning to you too 💖💖💖 i’ve been up all night trying to make a head or tail of this history project and it just makes NO SENSE UGH Y/N I NEED YOUR GENIUS INTELLECT RIGHT NOW AND RIGHT HERE

[2:42 a.m.]  i absolutely hate you and your procrastinating ass.

[2:43 a.m.]  says the queen of procrastinating herself 💀💀

[2:45 a.m.]  YOU WOKE ME UP AT 2:30 AM YOU ASSHOLE SO STOP CLOWNING ME OR I’M MUTING YOUR NOTIFS AND LEAVING YOU ON READ 💀💀

[2:47 a.m.]  FINE FINE JUST COME HELP ME

[2:48 a.m.]  i’m too lazy to get out of bed so i’m just gonna skype you. but dw, you’ll still feel the salt coming off me when i talk 😘😘

[2:50 a.m.]  y/n you beautiful wonderful human being i love you so much i’d throw myself under a truck for you.

[2:53 a.m.]  lmao don’t let minjoo hear you say that unless you want her to actually throw ME under a truck buddy 😉

You couldn’t help smiling; it was impossible for you to stay angry at someone as goofy and vibrant as Hyunjin, especially because you knew him so well and for so long. You didn’t really care that you were wearing just a strap-sleeved tank top and shorts, or that you had a bedhead; Hyunjin had seen you in far worse states, like when you were in the fourth grade and had the stomach flu for a month. That was bad. You closed your texts, opening Skype instead, and clicked the very first contact, waiting for Hyunjin to pick up your video call. He picked up right on the second ring, grinning ear to ear; he was wearing his  “I ❤️ NY” shirt, his favorite gray hoodie, and khaki shorts, not to mention the goofy smile he always wore when talking to you.

“How’s Satan doing today?” he joked immediately, his face lighting up at the sight of you. His eyes twinkled with mischief as you rolled your eyes.

“Just fine, thanks,” you grumbled. “As great as one could be at almost 3 o’clock in the morning, when even the BIRDS aren’t awake.”

“For all it counts, I think your hair seems to be doing great at almost 3 o’clock in the morning,” Hyunjin said sagely, nodding his head. “I mean, it’s hiding your devil’s horns really well, and it also doesn’t look like a mama bat had a mental breakdown while making her nest!”

“I hate you.”

Hyunjin pretended to clutch his heart, wounded, despite the grin still playing on his lips. “Aww, Y/N, now you’re just being cruel. You know you don’t mean that.”

As much as you hated to admit it, you knew he was right. And he knew, too, judging by his little smirk. Had you been sitting next to him in person, you’d have thrown a pillow at him by this time.

“All right, what is it you don’t understand?” you asked, rolling your eyes yet again.

“Everything!”

You swallowed the urge to groan loudly. This was going to be one long, long night.

You're the fear, I don't care 'Cause I've never been so high Follow me to the dark Let me take you past our satellites You can see the world you brought to life, to life

You managed to get three hours of sleep that night, thanks to your dumbass of a best friend. He owed you big-time, you thought, sipping your coffee through pursed lips while glaring balefully out the window as you waited for him to show up at your house. You both had walked to school together since you were eight and he was nine; you weren’t planning on stopping that even when you were in college, since you were both hoping to major in some form of art ― he in photography, you in writing ― and attend the same university.

It was 7:30 a.m. when Hyunjin came jogging breathlessly up your driveway and let himself in using the spare key you’d given him. You had half an hour to kill before your bus arrived, so you’d not only made yourself coffee, you’d set a mug on the table for Hyunjin as well. He took it gratefully, crossing the kitchen in a few large strides ― he was a literal ten inches taller than you, with his 5’10” towering over your 5’0” ― to join you by the counter, where he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. To anyone else, it seemed as if you were both dating, but it to you both, it was merely just a gesture of affection between two old friends.

“So, Bigfoot, you took your sweet time getting here,” you commented dryly, looking him up and down with a wry little smirk. Your smile fading, you sipped your slowly cooling coffee and added, “All jokes aside, though, you look God-awful.”

“Thanks.”

“Your dark circles make it look as if you got punched in the eyes by an angry jack-in-the-box, and you’re looking pretty pale in the face,” you said bluntly, shaking your head. “Hyunjinnie, you’re driving yourself crazy. When you’re not staying up late for music lessons and photography projects, you’re staying up late doing your homework. You have to get more sleep.”

“Yeah, about that…” He ran a hand through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck absently as his eyes met yours. He guided you over to the couch, sinking into the seat next to you as he continued. “I’m sorry about last night. I know you didn't get much sleep because of me. So, to make it up to you, I called Minjoo and Yongwoon up, and we’re doing a movie night double date at my place. My treat.”

Hyunjin was so considerate. That was one thing that made you love him so much ― he didn’t just throw some fake apology at you and forget about it; he tried to make it up to you in full. He was like that with you, with his girlfriend, with your boyfriend, everyone.

As soon as the wall clock read that it was 8:00, you grabbed Hyunjin’s hand, practically hauling him out of the house as he chuckled, trying to keep pace with you. “Relax, Y/N, the bus is never early!”

“I know, but Yongwoon is!” you panted, skidding to a halt at your bus stop, where your boyfriend was waiting as usual, one hand in his tousled black hair. “Hey, Yong!”

“Y/N! You’re early!” He exclaimed; you caught sight of the odd expression that flitted across his face and realized that you were still holding Hyunjin’s hand. You let go of your best friend’s hand, seeing his girlfriend, Minjoo, standing a little distance away; Hyunjin fist-bumped you as he passed you, greeting his girlfriend with a brief peck on the lips. You turned to your own significant other, who pressed his lips to yours for a moment before asking, a little edgily, “Why were you holding Hyunjin’s hand? Y/N… do you like him?”

There was a long breath of silence after his words. Finally, you began to laugh ― not at him, but because you found his question funny. “Sorry ― sorry, Yong, that was just really funny. Babe, Hyunjin and I are just really good friends. We’ve known each other since our sandbox days! Things like holding hands and hanging out a lot are just… things we’ve been doing for a really, really long time. But it doesn’t change anything for us. We’ve been doing this for over a year, and I love you just the same, see?” You kissed him again, and this time he had no complaints.

As soon as the bus arrived, you scrambled to reserve the back row for yourself, Yongwoon, Hyunjin, and Minjoo; you’d all sat there as a group since freshman year. As usual, you slid into your window seat, with Hyunjin dropping into the one next to yours, as Minjoo and Yongwoon dropped into the seat across the aisle. You didn’t see the look that passed between his girlfriend and your boyfriend because you were too busy looking over Hyunjin’s paper and making small revisions, which were mainly just grammatical errors, since the majority of your cramming session had been last night.

“I think this is good,” you said finally, as the school came into view. The smile Hyunjin gave you was definitely worth all the grumblings and lost sleep; you loved the way his eyes sparkled and crinkled at the corners when he smiled, the way his dimples deepened, and it had been your personal goal since day one of your friendship, when he’d fallen in the sandbox and you’d helped him up, to never let him lose that smile. You were the one who was a year younger than him, but you were also the more protective one in the friendship. It was something people often teased you about, calling you a mother hen, but you wore the title proudly. You were indeed a mother hen when it came to your best friend.

Your first class was history, which you and Hyunjin had together; Yongwoon had psychology, while Minjoo had English, so you waved goodbye, promising to save them seats at lunch. Hyunjin blew an exaggerated kiss at Minjoo, who giggled as you punched him in the shoulder, pretending to gag. “Ugh, look who decided to become Romeo all of a sudden! Come on, lover boy, or we’re gonna be late for class, and I’ll get my first detention because of you.”

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my days in purgatory, if you please, ma’am, so on we go,” Hyunjin said very seriously, earning himself another punch from you. “Ow! You’re short, but you punch like a sumo wrestler! What, did you absorb the soul of a wrestler you reaped, Satan?”

“Ha ha ha, very funny,” you grumbled, sinking into your seat at the back table, across from Hyunjin, right as the bell rang. “I’ll reap your soul if you don’t shut up.”

Even as the lesson went on, you spent the class passing notes and doodling all over each other’s papers, sometimes laughing so hard your teacher, a well-dressed brunette in her early thirties, had to frown in your direction, her finger pressed against her lips in a signal of silence.

That was how every day was, with you both ― it was just you and him. You were the planets; everyone else was just a satellite. You were a technicolor movie; they were just the audience. You and Hyunjin were the world; they were just outer space.

So love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do What are you waiting for?

It was on the bus home that you succumbed to the sleep that had been haunting your eyelids since the morning’s coffee had worn off mid-math class. One minute you were arguing with Hyunjin over whether milk or cereal came first (you argued milk, having gotten that habit from your parents, while Hyunjin argued that it was cereal), the next you had nodded off, your petite head on his broad shoulder.

When you came to, it was in a familiar room with soft blue walls and GOT7 posters all over the wall. You sat up, squinting slightly at the pale, watery orange sunlight streaming through the window; the translucent chartreuse curtains were slightly open, showing a rapidly darkening sunset sky in the prettiest pastel shades of blue, pink, and purple. You yawned, stretching your arms, and glanced down; you were still wearing your school clothes, which were now a bit rumpled because you’d slept in them.

“Sleep well, Sleeping Beauty?” You turned your head to see Hyunjin smiling at you from where he sat working at his desk, which was a sea of scattered papers. His glasses reflected a bit of the screen of his laptop and a bit of the sunset, which didn’t seem like a beautiful combination, but somehow, he made it work. He only wore his glasses at home unless he was out of contacts to use, in which case you’d see him wear his glasses to school for about a week before going back to wearing contacts; you stuck with your glasses at all times, mainly because for one, you were terrified of putting something in your eye, and for two, you had awful bags under your eyes, which your glasses did a good job hiding ― or at least keeping anyone from noticing.

You stretched again, comfortable after a few hours of rest. “You bet I did. Like a baby, in fact. How long was I out?”

“It’s 6:05 ― you can do the math.” You could hear the smile in his voice as you took a moment to decipher his words. Then your eyes widened. “I SLEPT FOR THREE HOURS?”

“Don’t worry, you haven’t missed movie night,” Hyunjin promised. “We still have an hour till Minjoo and Yongwoon are supposed to arrive. Do you want to get changed? Maybe take a shower to freshen up?”

“Yeah ― yeah, sounds great,” you said, stretching one last time before swinging your legs out from under the covers, so that you were now sitting on the edge of his bed. “All my stuff is next door, though.”

“You can grab some clothes from my closet,” he offered, smiling in your direction. “Just like when we were kids and your parents were out.”

You got up, shaking out your legs to get some feeling back into them, and opened his closet, choosing a purple tie-dye t-shirt. “I’m wearing shorts under my skirt, anyway, so I’ll just wear this over those,” you explained, and Hyunjin nodded.

The warm water felt like a liquid hug; you spent twenty minutes under the shower before deciding you didn’t want to turn into a living prune. You found, upon wearing it, that Hyunjin’s shirt went to your knees, but what did it matter? It was cozy. You blow-dried your hair, which took another twenty minutes, before pulling it into a loose bun and glancing at the time in your watch ― 6:50 p.m., which meant Minjoo and Yongwoon would be here soon. You noticed that the light in Hyunjin’s room was now off; he must be downstairs, you realized, so you descended the stairs, knowing from the rising aroma of hot chocolate that you’d find him in the kitchen. He glanced up at the sound of your footsteps, his face lighting up with a smile as his eyes fell on you. “You look adorable. Purple is definitely your color.”

“And you look suspicious. Who are you and what have you done with Hwang Hyunjin?” you snorted, amused. “I was expecting you to clown me for how big this shirt looks on me.”

He chuckled, turning back to the stove for a moment before placing a snowflake-printed mug on the counter in front of you. “Hot cocoa?”

“Thanks!” You took the mug gratefully, blowing on the steaming liquid for a few minutes before taking a sip, appreciating the feeling of the chocolatey, sugary sweetness, mixed with a hint of cinnamon and the creaminess of whipped cream, sliding down your throat. You had just taken another sip when the doorbell rang, prompting you to move towards the door, the hot cocoa mug still in your hand. You opened it to find Yongwoon, holding a bouquet of red roses.

“Hey! You’re…” You glanced at your watch, which read that it was 6:55 p.m. “...Five minutes early! Oh my gosh, are those for me?”

“Yes, they are!” He handed you the bouquet, grinning ear to ear, until his eyes took in what you were wearing. His smile faded slightly as he added, “Is that one of Hyunjin’s, Y/N?”

“Wha ― oh, yeah ― yeah, it is,” you said, a little surprised by the question.

“She fell asleep on the bus,” Hyunjin explained, “and since she lost sleep because of me, I felt bad waking her up. So I just carried her here and let her rest up in my room while I did my homework. When she woke up, she wanted to shower, and we realized she didn’t have a change of clothes, so I let her borrow one of my shirts.”

“I see.” Yongwoon’s lips had tightened considerably at this, but he didn’t say anything. In fact, he didn’t say anything till Minjoo arrived, about fifteen minutes after him; it was just you and Hyunjin chattering away over your hot cocoa until that time.

By the time she’d arrived, Hyunjin had gotten a huge bucket of buttered popcorn ready. He had four cushions ready on the ground for everyone, but you didn’t need your cushion; you just sat down in front of Hyunjin, your head in his lap, as you grabbed a handful of popcorn, munching contentedly as your boyfriend and his girlfriend came to join you on either side. Yongwoon imitated you, grabbing his own handful of the buttery, salty popcorn, while Minjoo was more refined, choosing to take the occasional two pieces of popcorn from time to time.

“What do you guys want to watch?” Hyunjin asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he leaned back, propping himself up with one elbow.

“American Horror Story,” Yongwoon volunteered immediately, earning himself identical protests from you, Hyunjin, and Minjoo. He conceded defeat, grumbling to himself before falling silent and waiting for one of you to make a choice.

“Titanic?” Minjoo suggested, earning herself a loud yawn from Yongwoon and an identical groan of rejection from yourself and Hyunjin. Her expression became a sulky one, which made all three of you laugh.

“Avengers: Infinity War?” you suggested. Hyunjin nodded enthusiastically; you two were pretty much the biggest Marvel nerds around.

“Are you sure you’re not going to soak my sleeve in tears again?” Hyunjin asked teasingly. “Remember last time, when you were bawling so hard I was afraid I’d have to pull a Noah and ark my way outta there?”

You turned and sat up to glare at him, indignant. “You were crying, too!”

He blushed, ducking his head in embarrassment. “Okay, okay, fair point. Any objections?”

Minjoo was too sulky to say anything, while Yongwoon was just too whipped for you to say a word against your wishes.

“All right! Infinity War it is,” Hyunjin declared, pulling you more closely into his lap before positioning himself comfortably, half sitting and half lying against his cushion as he tossed some more popcorn into his mouth, searching through Amazon Prime Video till he found it. Then he hit play, wrapped one arm around you, and sat back to enjoy the movie.

Fading in, fading out On the edge of paradise Every inch of your skin is a holy gray I've got to find Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire Yeah, I'll let you set the pace 'Cause I'm not thinking straight My head spinning around I can't see clear no more What are you waiting for?

Two hours and forty minutes later, you and Hyunjin were clinging to each other and sobbing your eyes out, your shoulders a mess of each other’s tears, snot, and drool. It would have been disgusting if this weren’t your usual movie-watching ritual ― you two were the sensitive ones, and if anything remotely sad were to happen in a movie, the room would be flooded within the next five minutes as you clung to each other and wept as if your hearts would break.

“I thought you said you’d be okay this time,” Hyunjin sobbed, wiping his eyes on the hem of his sleeve as he crushed you in a hug.

“I’m never emotionally prepared enough for that movie,” you sobbed back, mimicking him and wiping your eyes on the edge of your sleeve ― or at least trying to as best you could through his bone-crushingly tight embrace.

On your left, Minjoo was just staring blankly at the screen as if not sure of what to do in terms of a reaction, while Yongwoon, on your right, had his lips pursed and his fists clenched. “Damned Marvel,” he growled, shaking his fist. “Killing off Black Panther like that… that’s not fair.”

“Groot had such a bright future ahead of him,” Hyunjin hiccuped miserably, reaching for the popcorn, which was running dangerously low.

“I agree,” you sniffled. “Man, Bucky never deserves the shit he gets. He was captured by the Nazis, fell off a mountain, lost an arm, got frozen and experimented on by HYDRA, became their brainwashed puppet, killed a bunch of people, accidentally tore apart the Avengers, got frozen over again, and then right when he was spending a peaceful time in Wakanda he got drawn into the fighting and then h-he just goes ‘Steve…’ and fades away and just...” You broke down again, prompting a wince from Yongwoon and an eye roll from Minjoo.

“I know,” Hyunjin lamented, patting your back reassuringly. “Well… that was fun, right?”

“Right,” Yongwoon said unconvincingly, his eyes narrowing slightly at the sight of Hyunjin’s strong arms drawing you more tightly into an embrace. You two had been nothing but skinship since the beginning of the evening ― or, if you counted the hand-holding in the morning, since the beginning of the day ― and he was beginning to feel a bit threatened by the boy you called your closest friend. He felt threatened, jealous, every time your fingers tangled together, every time your eyes met, every time you laughed at something he said, every time you gazed at him as if he was the only boy in the world. It was getting harder and harder for him to believe you every time you declared yourself and Hyunjin “just friends”.

He didn’t like it at all.

Minjoo smiled thinly, her smile not quite meeting her movie-star eyes with their perfectly done makeup. “It was lovely.”

She, too, felt a surge of wicked jealousy every time you and Hyunjin were together. It hadn’t bothered her as much at first, but now, it was almost all she thought about. The way he smiled at you, as if there was nothing and no one more important. The way he always jumped to choose you anytime anything ― a game, a project, anything at all ― involved a partner. The way he didn’t seem to care when you saw him in his glasses, but almost always avoided wearing them around her. The way he always chose yours whenever he needed a shoulder to cry into.

The way he felt so distant from her, even if he was next to her, and yet so close to you, even when you were apart.

And she hated it.

As Yongwoon left, he turned to press his lips against yours for a long moment, the intensity almost double that of any normal kiss of yours. He stole a glance at Hyunjin, who simply smiled a bright smile at him before brushing Minjoo’s lips with his and waving goodbye as she left. “I love you, Y/N,” he whispered, stepping out into the night.

“Hey, Y/N, want to stay over for the night?” Hyunjin asked. You smiled apologetically. “Nah, I wish I could, but Mom and Dad are going to video call to check in with me in about half an hour. I have to make dinner before getting started on my homework.”

“I could join you,” Hyunjin offered, his eyes lighting up. “And, to make up for last night, I can help you with homework today!”

“Hwang Hyunjin, you legend, you’re so amazing that I could 10/10 kiss you,” you declared.

He laughed, rumpling your hair gently. “You already did once, remember? Spin the bottle, seventh grade. You were my first kiss, Y/N!”

“Oh, yeah! That girl from the classroom next door, the one who kept ogling at you, looked like she was ready to pee herself!” you snickered, choking on your own laughter and erupting in a fit of coughing that left tears in your eyes; Hyunjin rubbed circles on your back soothingly, hoping to ease the coughs. Once he deemed it safe to leave your side, he hurried back into the kitchen to grab you a glass of water, which you took and gulped down gratefully. “Thanks, Hyunjinnie.”

“Don’t worry about it. And be more careful,” he scolded, earning an amused eye roll from you.

“See you tomorrow? Noon at that bubble tea place down the block?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Good night, Hyunjinnie.”

As you left, he watched you, his fingers tingling where yours had been resting against them just a moment earlier, realizing how much you’d grown up… and wondering how he’d grown lucky enough to have you by his side during all these years.

Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do What are you waiting for?

Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (like you do) Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (yeah) Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do What are you waiting for?

He didn’t fail to meet you the next day ― in fact, he was early, waiting for you at an outdoor table as you arrived, wearing a mint-green hoodie and black yoga pants, your hair tied back in a neat ponytail.

“Hey, Sasquatch,” you called jokingly, and his glance snapped up from his phone to you, his eyes brightening and the corners of his full, rich coral-pink lips tugging themselves upwards into a bright grin.

“Y/N! Nice hoodie, the color suits you,” he exclaimed, tilting his head slightly to the side as he added, “is it new? I’ve never seen you wear it before.”

“Yeah, I bought it last week,” you said, feeling a rush of warmth rise in your chest at the fact that he’d noticed that small detail. He really did pay attention to everything.

“I love the color. Does it come in men’s?”

“Not sure. I’ll check, though ― we can go together, sometime tonight or tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan!” he declared, then glanced at the menu card in front of him. “I’m guessing you want your usual coconut milk tea, Y/N?”

“Yep, that’s me. Boring and predictable, like the old granny I am at heart,” you quipped, earning yourself another laugh from your companion.

“Predictable, maybe, since I’ve known you for so long,” Hyunjin agreed. “But boring? No way. You could never be boring, Y/N, no matter how long I’ve known you.”

You felt the color rising in your cheeks as you flushed pleasurably at your best friend’s compliment, which meant a lot more to you than he could imagine. “You’re sweet.”

His grin melted your heart as you grabbed the menu. “Let me guess ― you want the watermelon bubble tea. Again.”

“Why, Y/N,” Hyunjin gasped mockingly, his eyes widening, “however did you know?”

“Gee, I don’t know,” you said sarcastically, shrugging. “Maybe because you decided to even dress like a freaking watermelon for Halloween? And because you completely weeded that bag of Dum-Dums ― the one you were supposed to be handing out to the trick-or-treaters ― of watermelon lollipops? I could hear the kids complaining all the way down the street!”

“Okay, okay, Y/N,” he admitted, going red in the face. “You… kind of have a point there.”

You sat back with a triumphant smirk, which earned a grin from Hyunjin; within the minute, you both had begun to laugh hopelessly, till tears of mirth gathered themselves in both of your eyes and your sides ached with laughter.

After you’d both gotten your bubble teas, you sat for a while in silence. But it wasn’t the awkward silence that needed an ice-breaker; it was a comfortable silence, where neither of you needed to say anything to enjoy the moment spent in the other’s company.

You were the one who finally broke the silence. “Hey, Hyunjinnie, do you want to try a sip of my bubble tea? I realize, in all the times we’ve come here, you’ve never tried the coconut milk tea, while I’ve never tried the watermelon tea.”

“Sounds fun!” Hyunjin unhesitatingly leaned over, his cheek brushing against yours, as he took a sip from your straw, letting the new flavor soak onto his tongue for a moment before nodding his approval, his eyes lighting up. “Holy moly ― this is good! You have good taste, Y/N!”

You smirked at him before leaning across the table to take a sip of his drink, the watermelon flavor coating your tongue and cooling your throat as you swallowed. “Heck, I could say the same for you, Hyunjin! You might just have passed your obsession with all things watermelon on to me!”

It was a perfect moment, just you and him, peacefully enjoying each other’s company… till the sound of soft sobbing drew your attention away from Hyunjin. Your eyes scanned the bubble tea café till they found the source of the sound.

Minjoo.

And judging by the tears pouring down her face, she’d seen everything.

The color drained from Hyunjin’s face as he jumped up, practically knocking the umbrella off the table as he tried to make his way towards Minjoo, who heaved a sob and took a step back.

“Minjoo!” he yelled. “Minjoo, wait!”

“Minjoo!” You joined him, calling your friend’s name. “Minjoo, it’s not what it looks like!”

“Shit,” Hyunjin muttered. “I’ll… I’ll be back. I’m sorry to cut our outing short, Y/N, but...”

“Go,” you said grimly, your heart hammering with dread as you watched your best friend take off after his girlfriend, only hoping that things would turn out okay.

I'll let you set the pace 'Cause I'm not thinking straight My head spinning around I can't see clear no more What are you waiting for?

This time, when you woke up at 3:00 a.m., it wasn’t because of your phone, which had remained painfully silent all evening, save for a single text from your boyfriend, asking if you were free for a date that night. You’d declined his offer, sick with worry for your best friend’s predicament. He and Minjoo didn’t ever quarrel, and yet, the last you’d seen them, Minjoo was shouting at him, tears rolling down her cheeks, while he pleaded for her understanding.

Icy fear bubbled in your stomach as you lay awake against the pillows; the room felt uncharacteristically cold. You sighed, finally deciding there was no way you could get to sleep with so much worry gnawing at your mind ― maybe a midnight snack would help. You slid out from under the bedcovers, shivering as the cold air touched your bare legs ― you were just wearing shorts and a t-shirt ― and went downstairs into the kitchen, where you rummaged through the refrigerator and pantry, finding absolutely nothing that fit your cravings. You stretched, going to change clothes into a pink hoodie and black leggings, pulling your hair into a messy ponytail before grabbing your purse, pulling your car keys from them as you went outside into the driveway, opening the door and getting into your car. You started up the engine, waiting for a few moments as the heater warmed the inside, before reversing out of the driveway and beginning the fifteen-minute drive to the local Lotte.

The classical music playing over the stereo did nothing to ease your nagging worry, and all the way there, nausea roiled in your stomach like a vat of acid. You arrived in the parking lot of the supermarket, locking your car before entering the store and going straight to the dairy aisle, grabbing yourself five small bottles of your favorite brand of strawberry milk and paying for them quickly before hurrying outside again, the cover on your arm. You got back into your car, slamming the door shut, and left the parking lot, embarking on your return journey. About five minutes had passed when you suddenly screeched to a halt, pulling over abruptly, the color draining from your face.

A tall figure was staggering around on the curb, a bottle in hand. A very familiar tall figure. Your blood turned to ice as you recognized Hyunjin.

You’d never seen him drunk like this. Come to mention it, you’d never even seen him touch any remotely alcoholic beverage. You got out of your car, your heart pounding more wildly than it had ever pounded in your life, running to meet the boy with a tight hug.

“Hyunjin!” you cried, mingled pain and relief in your tone as you crushed him in a hug, aware that you were shaking from head to toe ― whether it was with anger or fear, you weren’t sure. Probably a mix of both, to be honest.

“Hey… hey, Y/N,” Hyunjin slurred unsteadily, staggering and practically half collapsing on you, leaving you struggling for a minute with the task of supporting his larger weight. He smiled an unfocused smile down at you, wiping the wetness from his eyes. “Whatcha doin’ awake at this late hour, Y/N?”

“I could ask you the same,” you said anxiously, your pulse thrumming with worry. “What happened to you? I’ve never seen you drink before, and suddenly you’re holding a beer bottle and rambling around, punch-drunk, on the streets at…” You glanced at your watch. “...3:15 a.m. Hyunjin, what the fuck is going on here? Where were you? Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“Minjoo broke up with me.” The boy’s voice was slurred with drinking, his balance completely off-kilter; he sank against you, his tears wetting the collar of your hoodie. “She left me, Y/N. She said she was done, that we were over.”

You were aware that you, too, were crying: crying for the horrible state you’d found your best friend in, for the blame you were allotting to yourself ― crying, mostly, because Hyunjin was crying, and his tears hurt worse than anything.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered, sinking to your knees and letting the male sag against you, his head nestling into your shoulder as he hiccuped and cried as if his heart would break ― which it already had, that night. You wrapped your arms around him, rubbing his back soothingly as he cried it all out, till he had no tears left in him to cry, numb at last.

“Come on,” you murmured, guiding an unprotesting Hyunjin into your car, helping him buckle himself into the passenger seat as you drove home, the quiet classical music and the feeling of your sleeping best friend’s head on your shoulder giving you an odd tingling feeling.

Once you got home, you gently shook Hyunjin awake, letting him use you as a support for his terrible balance. He didn’t shake you off, letting you guide him upstairs and into your room, where you let him grab a change of clothes (you left the room while he changed, coming back in as soon as he gave you the thumbs-up) before collapsing onto your bed. You would have let him use the guest room, but, truth be told, you wanted to keep your eye on him, too scared that he’d do something stupid again. So you went into the bathroom, changing into your typical t-shirt and shorts, before collapsing on the bed beside him, exhausted from the day’s events.

“Y/N?” You couldn’t stop the tear that slipped down your cheek at the sound of Hyunjin’s tired voice, which sounded less slurred and more… him. He scooted towards you, gently tugging your shoulder so you were now facing him, and brushed the tear from your lashes, wiping away the glittering trail the tear had left on your skin.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around you, an embrace you returned with just as much fervor. “I’m really, really sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” you choked out, the guilt overpowering you. “It’s my fault Minjoo broke up with you. She didn’t like how much time we spent together.”

Hyunjin shook his head. “No, Y/N, this is not your fault. I should have been clearer with her, and anyway...” He hesitated, continuing, “...Maybe it’s not all bad.”

Your eyes widened with surprise. “What?”

Hyunjin flushed slightly. “This might just be the alcohol talking, Y/N… I don’t know anymore. But when you were holding me on the curb, I could feel you shaking. I could hear you crying. And I was getting my snot and drool and tears all over you, and by that time, you probably reeked of alcohol as much as I did. But you still held me. Minjoo… probably wouldn’t have.”

“Come on, I’m sure she―”

“No, Y/N,” Hyunjin interrupted, shaking his head vehemently. “The one time when you were on that family trip in France and I caught the flu, Minjoo came over. She took care of me, but… but I could see the disgust in her eyes every time she saw me throw up or cough up mucus. The one time I cried into her shoulder, she immediately went to change clothes. She’s only there in my highs, Y/N, but you’ve been there all the time. She only knows the happy Hyunjin, but you know the real Hwang Hyunjin.”

“Hyunjin...” Your voice trailed off for a long moment before you managed, “What do you mean?”

“I mean...” Hyunjin took your hands in his larger ones, hesitating for a while before answering, “I mean… or, at least, I think I mean… that in a way, it’s always been you. This was just the universe’s way of showing me. I know I make zero sense, but...”

“No,” you said slowly, his words taking a moment to register. “No, I… I kind of get what you mean.”

Suddenly, it all made sense.

Why Hyunjin and your kiss, all those years ago, had seemed better and more full of life than any that you’d shared with your boyfriend.

Why the first person you called up whenever you found yourself free ― or needed to spill some news ― was Hyunjin, not your own boyfriend.

Why, even if you were spending the entire day out with your boyfriend, you had to steal into the bathrooms at least once to hear Hyunjin’s voice on the phone for at least five minutes.

Why skinship with Hyunjin felt so much natural and easier than skinship with Yongwoon.

Why everyone naturally assumed you two were a couple.

Maybe it was because deep down, that was what you were ― the only difference was that you’d both labeled the feeling as the wrong one, assuming that you were just best friends and remaining oblivious not only to the other’s feelings, but to your own.

“Hyunjin… I’ve spent so many days wondering why none of the kisses I’ve shared with Yongwoon have even come close to matching the one we shared in the seventh grade,” you admitted. “I guess it’s because they were missing the one key ingredient: spark. I won’t deny that I really like Yongwoon ― or, at least, I did, at the beginning ― but he’s just… not right for me, and I’m shocked it took this long for me to realize. He was always trying to steal me away from you, keep you away when we were both together, while you were always ready to share me with him… all to keep me happy.”

“Y/N...” Before you knew it, Hyunjin was leaning closer, and so were you, and you didn’t know how it happened, but suddenly, your lips were pressed against his, and there it was, that spark, the one you hadn’t felt against your lips for five years.

As you both pulled away, you realized the words didn’t need to be said ― the kiss had spoken volumes more than those three simple words. That was the lovely thing about gestures ― they could explain things in ways much more nuanced than even a dictionary.

That night, you fell asleep in Hyunjin’s arms, your legs tangled with his, your heartbeats synchronizing.

Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (like you do) Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (yeah) Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do What are you waiting for?

Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (like you do) Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do (yeah) Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do What are you waiting for?

You woke up to the warm sunlight filtering through your window; that was, by far, the most peaceful sleep you’d gotten in the last few days. You stretched, yawning appreciatively, before your eyes fell on the still-sleeping form of Hwang Hyunjin beside you. You smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to his forehead ― he stirred slightly, the corners of his lips quirking upwards ever so slightly ― before slipping out from under the bedcovers, going downstairs to make yourself and Hyunjin some coffee. Right as you’d finished pouring the two mugs, your doorbell rang; you went to open the door, your mug of coffee in hand, and saw Yongwoon standing there, smiling a little sheepishly. “Oh. Hey.”

“I was worried about you,” Yongwoon said, launching right into it with no prior greeting. “You haven’t been yourself lately ― you keep refusing dates, you don’t answer my texts quickly ― I’m worried about you, Y/N.”

Footsteps made you both turn around; Hyunjin was coming downstairs, looking tired but much refreshed after having showered and changed clothes. His smile made your breath hitch; it was funny how liking someone made them even more attractive in your eyes, because before, you’d been able to notice how pretty his smile was, but now, it was as if you’d forgotten, or never fully appreciated, how breathtakingly stunning it was.

Yongwoon’s smile had faded, and he was studying Hyunjin with a frown, furrowing his brow. “Why is he here, Y/N?”

“He stayed the night. He wasn’t… feeling the best, so I thought it best if I took care of him.” Your tone made it clear you weren’t taking any arguments, which simply made your boyfriend even more uneasy.

“I don’t like it,” he said abruptly. “I don’t like it at all, Y/N. I know you call him your ‘best friend’, but as your boyfriend, I don’t like the idea of you being home alone with another guy. I won’t let you―”

“Let me? Let me?” Your eyes widened with incredulity; the anger that burned in their depths caused him to take a step back, surprised. “I only meant―”

“No, I’ve heard enough,” you decided. “You sound like my grandpa. My annoying, patriarchal grandpa.”

“Y/N―”

“This isn’t working.”

He froze, staring at you for some hint that this was just a joke, maybe a very, very early April Fools’ prank. When he saw nothing except seriousness on your face, he managed, blankly, “Y/N, I―”

“Look. Don’t get me wrong, there was a point where I really, really liked you. But that was before I realized, whatever else we had, there was no spark.”

“Y/N!” he protested, taking a step towards you. You took a step back, shaking your head quite calmly ― you didn’t know where all this calmness was coming from, but you were glad for it.

“I want you to be happy,” you said finally. “I don’t think I’m the answer to that. And I don’t think you’re my answer, either. I’m doing this for the both of us. It’d be nice if we could stay friends, but… that’s up to you.”

Yongwoon looked from Hyunjin to you, the realization dawning in his eyes, which flared with anger. He shook his head, simply leaving the house; after a moment, he turned around, pausing, his eyes slightly wet with the reality that he wasn’t yours anymore ― and hadn’t been, for a while. “I don’t know about that, Y/N.”

You hesitated for a long, long while. “Bye, Yongwoon.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

As soon as he’d left, the tears spilled out; now, it was Hyunjin’s turn to hold you as you cried against him, your tears soaking through the thin fabric of his white t-shirt as he guided you to the couch, his arms tight and warm around you as he held you till you couldn’t cry anymore.

“Thanks, Hyunjinnie,” you whispered, looking up gratefully at him. He brushed away your tears, smiling that signature fond smile he reserved only for you, and placed a warm, soft kiss on your forehead, sending that tingling feeling flooding through your body.

And as the first snow of the year began to fall, outside, you wrapped your arms around his neck, your lips meeting his in a burst of warmth.

“I love you, Hyunjin.”

“I love you more, Y/N.”

“No! Stop that, I love YOU more!”

“Y/N! Gah, stop tickling me! I love you most!”

“Surrender already! You know I love you more than most.”

“Yes… yes, I do.”

[burrrning--soul]

I hear a lot of complaints about Hallow. Yes the animation is different. Yes the voice actors/actresses are different. Yes it’s a tad bit more gory, and dark. That’s because SO many years passed since D.Gray-man originally came out. Obviously things are going to change in what, 8-9 years? Not only that, but Hoshino’s art style has changed dramatically, and in a good way. The newer chapters are breathtakingly beautiful, so why would they downgrade the animation by making them look the exact same... when they no longer look like that?

No anime out there is perfect. They have their moments where the characters look like potatoes, and that’s just how things are. Nothing you say is going to change that. It is something you just need to accept, because honestly we should just be grateful that we even got a new season period! I truly believed that D.Gray-man was going to be cancelled forever, so even though there were moments in the anime that could have been animated better, I will not complain. I’m GRATEFUL for getting another season; but more importantly, getting my absolute favorite arc animated.

The Alma Karma arc.

This part in the manga seriously messed me up, and I cried like a baby every single time I read it. It is actually the reason why I went back and read through the whole manga in the first place. Sure the characters don’t look so great in the beginning, but Hoshino has improved beyond one-hundred percent since she first released D.Gray-man. Doesn’t every artist improve the more they practice? You just have to look past them and pay attention to the plot.

D.Gray-man is a darker series, and I think that is why a lot of people turn their noses down at it. Unfortunately these people are missing out majorly. The character developments are superb, and so is the plot. Allen’s and Kanda’s pasts are so tragic, that I just want to reach through the screen and give them both a huge hug.

I remember how shocked I was when reading through the Alma Karma arc. Kanda’s body is artificial, and is known as a “second exorcist”?! He was actually killed a long time ago by an akuma, and had a beautiful woman as his lover, in which she was killed too? They were then brought back to life in separate bodies, hers being placed in a boy’s body: Alma’s. It goes to show that love isn’t defined by gender, but by your SOUL. They were literal soulmates, and it makes my heart ache every time I see those two.

Alma and Kanda lived the beginning of their lives not knowing of their real bodies, and that they were once lovers. They just knew that they were experiments, and referred to each other as friends. Although when Alma found his real body, he decided to kill both himself and Kanda in order to end their suffering-- to prevent the Order from using them over and over again. Well not understanding this, Kanda chose to live. He wanted to search for his lover’s soul, and so that is why he destroyed Alma.

The boy who actually had his lover’s soul trapped inside his body.

It’s even more sad when Alma finds out who Kanda really is, when Wisely sends both him and Allen back to his childhood. He finds out that Kanda is his lover in their previous lives, and doesn’t know how he will react upon finding this out, so he tries to avoid telling him. He also wanted Kanda to continue searching for his soul, since it gave him a purpose.

Aaaand that is when their fight breaks out. They’re trying to kill each other for different reasons. Alma just wants them both to die, so that they won’t be used anymore; whereas Kanda wants to kill Alma because he became a fricken akuma! Sure the anime didn’t make me feel as emotional as the manga did, but it definitely made me cry! And I had to hold those tears in when watching through it again with my brother. That was really hard to do, especially when Alma is dying in Kanda’s arms, and he sees both him and the woman he loved in his past life right before him.

And they both say: “Yuu, I love you.”

THAT WRECKED ME FOREVER, ESPECIALLY SINCE KANDA TEARED UP WHEN PIECING IT ALL TOGETHER.

Kanda would have stayed with Alma, despite being a guy in his new life. He would have. I just know it. It’s sad that Alma felt the need to keep it all from him. IF THEY HAD JUST TALKED ABOUT IT, BUT NOOO. NOW ALMA IS FRICKEN DEAD, AND KANDA ALMOST DIED. BUT HE CAME BACK FOR ALLEN’S SAKE.

Even though Kanda and Alma are soulmates, I still love him with Allen. They have a strong, interesting bond. You can even see in the newer chapters that he just does not want to leave his side, no matter what. That is why he clung to him when going through the ark. Ah, I can’t with this series. It’s so amazing!

And when Johnny managed to bring Allen back when the fourteenth Noah, Nea took over his body... OMG SO PRECIOUS. THEY ARE ALL SO PRECIOUS, AND I WANT TO PROTECT THEM ALL, AAAH.

Other scenes I love in D.Gray-man are:

-Lenalee’s hair getting burned off.

-Allen returning when everyone thought he was dead.

-Cross Marian coming back to fuck with Allen.

-Cross being a pervert and hitting on Lenalee.

-Bak Chan being a stalker towards Lenalee, and breaking out into hives at the mere mention of her name.

-TYKI RIPPING A HOLE THROUGH ALLEN’S HEART

-Tyki’s strange obsession with Allen.

-Road’s love towards Allen, despite them being a Noah and an Exorcist.

-MANA AND NEA. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

-LAVI BEING A PRECIOUS DORK

-Anita’s death, like holy shit. I cried when Lenalee freaked out!

-The Lala arc.

-WHEN TUP TOP DIEDDDD

-When Allen lost his arm, and regained a brand new one that is super powerful and more awesome looking!

-Tyki and Allen fights.

-Krory being a precious vampire cinnamon roll <3

-When DAISYA FUCKING BARRY WAS KILLED BY TYKI

-LENALEE GETTING HER INNOCENCE BACK

-Lavi crying over Allen’s “death”, even though he’s not supposed to be making any friends because he’s a Bookman ;A;

-Kanda and Allen fights. They’re all gold, trust me lmao.

-Finding out that the Earl is FUCKING MANA

-Timothy Hearst being the cutest fucking boy alive.

-Kanda coming back to the Order when everyone thought he died along with Alma ;~;

-ALLEN’S GOODBYE WHEN HE LEAVES THE ORDER WITH THE NOAH

-Whever Nea, the fourteenth Noah takes over Allen’s body e///e

-Link’s strange obsession with Nea.

-The third exorcists! ajsdlkfjasa (traitors)

-When Kanda “died” the first time.

-When Road fucked with Lavi’s mind, and caused him to fight against Allen... BUT ALLEN REFUSED TO HURT HIS FRIEND.

-TIMCANPY BEING KILLED

-Cross Marian also being killed.

-ALLEN CRYING OVER LOSING TIMCANPY

I honestly just wish more people got into D.Gray-man. It messes with your emotions, and becomes so incredibly beautiful the further you get into it. Now excuse me while I sink further into the videos, and cause myself more heartache by them.

[loghainmactir]

For the OC asks: 1, 6, 12, 14, 18, 21, 28 :)

there r so many here 😱😱😱 thank u sm…. i love love love love talking abt my OCs but i can never do it unless someone prompts me and this one is gonna get LONG so buckle in kids!!! (I’m also on mobile, so the questions have been shortened bc I just wrote ‘em down before I got into bed I’m sorry 😭) I’m also going to do 6 as a whole seperate post bc I wanna talk a little about my D&D world, tbh!

1. Three useless facts about your favourite OC.

I can’t 100% choose a favourite OC (… ok its Padril) so! I’m gonna do one useless facts for three characters:

A) Padril once tricked Tamlen as a kid into believing he’d gotten his hand bitten off by the Dread Wolf by sucking it into his shirt and wailing. The clan was not impressed, lmao.

B) Braewyn and her twin, Bradley, often binge-watch Golden Girls when they’re together and have free time

C) Irving owns a set of dragonbone dice and he has no idea how to play dice games. Like, none.

12. Favourite relationship between OCs?

I’ve done this already BUT… my other favourite relationship is between my character, Leon, and his daughter, Jordan, who’s a teenager.

Leon’s essentially got the role of Cullen for modern-day Inquisition mixed w some Leliana stuff, but he’s the one who trains everyone and orders about spies/troops. He’s an incredibly thoughtful and kindhearted guy, though a bit married to his work and sometimes it’s difficult for him to remove himself from it.

BUT… Jordan is the apple of his eye and encourages him to go out and socialise and do things Not Involving Work. They were estranged for a bit bc his work’s dangerous, but now she’s older so they spend time together offen. Similarly, Leon tries to set a good example for her and tries to encourage self-love; Leon’s black, and so is Jordan, n he knows she’s been bullied before so he tries his hardest to encourage self love re: natural hair & dark skin & imperfections like scars (bc he has a lot himself) (He’s also so fuckin awkward lmfao, he tells so many dad jokes when they’re together)

14. Which OC is most like you?

Ok so I have two. Bradley and Raul: Bradley has always a LOT of my ADHD/BPD traits and shares a decent chunk of my trauma even before I knew about it all myself. He’s also bi like me n helped me realize I was, too. Bradley’s much older n more Out There than me, though, but he really is a comfort character in the sense that it’s kinda like “u can and will be ok, he was so u can b too”.

There’s also Raul, who’s like me personality-wise; he’s a smartass, a writer, a feminist, and he really just wants to help people. He’s also afraid of large bodies of open water (like me), and he’s fuzzy n chunky like me too. I swear to god he is his own OC though akgkakf

18. Favourite things to research about OCs?

I rarely research OC things anymore, tbh, unless I’m REALLY uneducated on topics that cannot Just Be Made Up (like Harry and his world— I haven’t researched shit for that, lmao). One OC I researched a tonne on was my OC, Anthony (who’s Bradley’s child). They’re nonbinary, so I spent hours researching what that meant and how to politely portray them… and then I realized I was trans through that. I love them bc of that.

21. Describe each OC as shittily as possible.

God, I won’t do All of them, but:

Padril: that friend from university who’s now dating a man twice their age and is an “artist” (though it’s not going anywhere)

Jakeem: Gaudy Local Man Can’t Stop Bringing Dead Dogs Back To Life; Click For The Full Story! (clicking requires u to sign up & give yr credit card details lmao)

Harry: (to the tune of Hit Me Baby One More Time) MY LOWER BACK / IS KILLING ME / AND I / I MUST CONFESS / SO ARE MY KNEES (are my knees!)

Irving: You Won’t Believe How Much This Bear Can Cry!

Braewyn: “Hehehe! Got your nose!”/“Got your wallet!”

28. If they had tumblrs, what kinds of blogs would they have?

Padril: aesthetic art/travel blog…. occasionally posts selfies of himself on Loghain’s lap. Extensive tagging. Hashtag nature, hashtag beautiful, hashtag art, hashtag daddy (HE WOULD THOUGH)

Harry: completely untagged personal blog. entirely in lower case. probably black w red font. lots of complaints, lots of depressing posts, the occasional COMPLETELY indecipherable meme reblogged by @ltsarahkerrigan’s eustace (occasionally he’d post selfies of them, too). Has, like, 3 followers lmao

Jakeem: fashion/dogblr blog. Has a decent amount of followers because he often posts outfit photoshoots, except most of the outfits are from KMart/Walmart and are cleverly disguised. Definitely gets called out on a regular basis. Basic tags, still gets a tonne of notes.

Irving: a mish-mash of fandom (at least, art, photosets and gifsets), photography, and recipes. Is That Person who always leaves actual comments on posts (and often they’re irrelevant) and uses tags but uses them all wrong (for example he does them in all caps and there’s never a break in them, like: YUM RECIPIE FOOD STEAK BACON VEGGIES). Probably shouldn’t be on tumblr but he’s enthusiastic about it at least!

[raptorsenshi]

Witch Hecate, Shutendoji, Tengu, Rondo of Snowy Night, Night's Queen, Princess Dawn, Brocade Jade, Fire Tiger of Tail, Soul Seer

Send me a set (or as many sets as you want) from Love Nikki and I’ll rate it!

Witch Hecate: I straight up SCREAMED when I saw this suit in the gallery after a game update. I love it, I’m all about any ‘spooky’ sort of set. The little ghost ‘coat’ is amazing, the dress and hair are gorgeous, the makeup is A++ and I love the accessories. If I had one complaint it’s that Midnight Fright is positioned in a way that makes it really hard to try get a hold of to move around in free dressing. 9/10

Shutendoji: I’m not the biggest fan of most of this set, if I’m honest. The pose is really awkward and just looks so weird with anything other than the intended hair and makeup. That said, I love the makeup, horns and foreground/background items (Still mad that Ghost Fire - the part I REALLY WANTED - is the one part I never got). It’s just one of those sets where I love individual pieces but not the thing as a whole. 4/10

Tengu: HONESTLY THE BEST OF THE YOKAI SUITS imo. At least it’s my favourite one. The wings are unsurprisingly my favourite part b/c I’m a sucker for ears/wings/tails/horns/antlers ect. The main part of the suit can be a little tricky to style with accessories outside of the the rest of the set but it’s not impossible, it just makes it a little limited unless you’re really creative. Also I LOVE the makeup so much, it’s the perfect mix of mischief/malice. 10/10 

Rondo of Snowy Night: Okay but I have wanted this suit since I saw official art of it awhile back from the other servers of the game and I nearly cried when it was one of our Christmas suits. It’s so beautiful and serene. Just looking at it makes me feel calm, like I’m curled up in a window seat with a book watching the snow fall at night. I also want ALL the animal companions so the giant reindeer is an absolute delight 12/10. 

Night’s Queen: Absolutely one of the best suits in the game and I will fight people on this. It’s breathtaking. I don’t have the words for how stunning it is to be honest. The artist who created it did such a fantastic job. The lightning effect on the special pose is a wonderful touch, and dark, sparkling, night sky-themed things are my ultimate aesthetic so this suit embodies everything I love. ESPECIALLY given it’s a non-human suit too like UGH. 100/10, breaks the scale. 

Princess Dawn: It is a pretty suit, that I cannot deny. But it’s another one of those where I like parts individually just not the thing as a whole. I’m not the biggest fan of the makeup, it looks too much like Moment Like a Dream but like, the store-own brand as opposed to big brand name. I’m so sorry if anyone likes it it just looks really awkward to me, I know it’s supposed to be, well, a face of just waking up but it looks like she needs to sneeze to me lmao. I’m not the biggest fan of the dress either. Everything else I love though! I adore the anklets, foreground and wings especially. The necklace and hair are pretty too. 7/10

Brocade Jade: KITSUNE. That pretty much sums up my feelings omg. I’m still ‘!!!!!!!!’ over this suit. I LOVE the special pose and whilst it’s tricky to style with like most full-body alt poses, it’s one of my favourites to attempt to create something unique with. Fantasy Fox is undoubtedly the best part of the suit though like lbr, that’s the main attraction here: Giant. Fluffy. Kitsune. But every other part of it is beautiful. The detailing on the kimono is exquisite and both of the hairstyles are lovely and great to work with in free dressing. 10/10. 

Fire Tiger of Tail: I swear you can see both my aesthetic and animal companion bias in this list. Another suit I got super excited about when the event was announced. I completed BOTH the new Stars suits on the first day ahaha. The tiger is of course the part I wanted most but the dress is simply beautiful, the headdress is stunning an the oat looks so warm and fluffy I just want to huddle myself up inside of it. Also blue is my favourite colour an this suit captures like… my absolute favourite shades of blue on both ends of dark-light spectrum wonderfully. 10/10

Soul Seer: Mmmmm it’s a lovely suit but I wish, as many people have pointed out to the devs, that they’d make more skintones, especially darker ones, for this exact purpose. The game is Chinese so I know their racial sensibilities are different and that no harm was intended in a game full of fashion from cultures around the word alongside fantasy fashions buuuuuut with the suit have clear Native American influences alongside fantasy ones, it really would be great to have a skintone to go along with it so it didn’t seem so unintentionally appropriative. So that does hinder my ability to enjoy the suit in its entirety a lot. HOWEVER. I really love the hair, cape and shoes and I’ve used the shoes in so many sets since I got them oops. 6/10. Would be higher if the devs added more skintone diversity. 

[banacafe]

[20170416] B.A.P PARTYBABY in LA Fanaccount

Note: You all are probably tired of me saying this, but I am going to say it again ^^ Everything is written by memory, so everything is probably not exact and accurate. And I am so inconsistent with Junhong’s name, so forgive me if I keep saying Junhong then switching back to Zelo.

Also, If you don’t want to read all of the BS and wait I had to go through, you can just skip to the Songlist Section. And if you were tagged and don’t want to read this LONG post, just click ctrl+F and find your name to see where I tagged you, so you don’t have to waste your time ^^

THE WAIT AND C H A O S

@b90xng15​ and I came to venue at 9:30ish, and there was already a line around the corner. One by one, the line started moving, and most of us at the back had no clue what was going on. Eventually, we were out from the street and lined up inside the barricade in front of the Novo. We had to take out our tickets and show it to the supervisor while he was walking by, so it will be “easier” for him to separate us. P1 ticket holders were on one side, and the P2 ticket holders were in the last line of the barricade. I thought it was organized at first, but it later became chaotic, especially later when it got closer to doors opening, because A.) there were a lot of people who had will-call tickets and B.) there were more P1 ticket holders waiting in line on the streets.

The Novo staffs didn’t even come back to inform further instructions for will-call ticket holders. For those who had will-call tickets (for both P1 and P2), when the line started moving, they had to go to the will-call booth (while the line was moving inside the venue) to get their tickets and go back at the end of the P1 line. The staff also had to go to get more P1 ticket holders from the line on the street first before proceeding to P2 ticket holders. It was so ridiculous. I just thought this was poorly handled. Not just that, they were strict, so it was hard for BABYz and fansites to pass out any signs and banner for us. Which I am like ?? Seriously?

My situation: When tickets went on sale, I couldn’t get any P1 tickets, so I just bought two P2 tickets. Then, I later bought two P1 from this girl online with a straight down payment.

It was around 6pm was when I started losing it. I was so nervous because the girl I bought the ticket from hasn’t showed up yet. I felt bad because I kept on texting her what the progress was and where she was at. I was just out of it. Because my plan was, if she comes in time to give me the P1 tickets, I can give my P2 tickets for the two BABYz in line who had will-call tickets for P2. But it didn’t work out. When they got all of the P1 people inside the venue, our line started moving, and we were one of the first P2 ticket holders in line.  When we got inside, we were so lucky to have the railings. At 7:35pm, she called me and informed me that I have to come back downstairs to come and get my P1 tickets and my wristbands. Luckily, the BABYz who were standing behind told me that they will save my spot, so that @b90xng15 and I can go back downstairs to go get our tickets.

We left as fast as we could but were stopped when one of the employees told us that we cannot re-enter after go out the door because the sign said, “No Re-entering.” I was too mad to even read signs at the time. The staff lost it, and he was raising his voice. I lost my cool as well, but I calmly explained to him of my situation. We then went downstairs, with the staff’s consent, found the girl’s friend, and voilà! Our tickets! 

One of the BABYz waiting with us said that we should file a complaint or sue The Novo for Emotional Distraught. YES! I was really feeling that. LOL.

SONGLIST:

Opening with DJ BShoo

The whole auditorium was dark with dark blue lights (just like how it did last year in LOE but there was nothing on the screen). It was 5 minutes before the show, and the lights dimmed down. On the screen, there it says “B.A.P PARTY BABY” and shows us a photo of DJ BShoo. He came on stage shortly and did his magic. I am not a party/club person at all, and I hate raves, but DJ BShoo was so awesome! Lights were changing to red and beaming! He kept the crowd jumping till the end. Lots of BABYz behind we singing along. I actually enjoyed this opening!

B.A.P (Intro)

After the intro, on the screen, it says “Sound System Check” and there was a timer (for 90 seconds if I remember correctly) in the center, counting down. At this moment, BABYz were anxious. We began counting down when it hit 9 seconds. After the countdown, it shows us “behind the stage” (probably a pre-recording). B.A.P was singing and rapping to the B.A.P (Intro) as they walked out to the stage. When the song ended, there they were again! B E A U T I F U L

Hurricane

Badman 

It is so sad that I cannot remember anything for these two performances. I am so disappointed at myself. I just remembered enjoying the remixes of these songs, but nothing’s coming up for a mental picture.

No Mercy

Boom! Clap! Boom~boom~clap! I seriously only remembered Himchan signing this at the end and told BABYz to sing along.

Bangx2

Before Bang said “Are you ready?,” there was a long moment of silence, and BABYz just shouted their way through. Love the energy!

That’s My Jam

I think this is where the confetti started and also when Himchan started water-gunning the pit? Confirmed this please ^^ PS. The ground was literally shaking. BABYz were partying so hard haha.

Do What I Feel

During the part when they sang “Fly~,” Youngjae was seriously so gorgeous at this part. He had his arms spread out like a bird and just feeling the song. I wish I could’ve captured this in photo to show this to you all haha. Towards the end, Bang and Jongup did the same thing but with their arms opened and reaching to the ceiling. Piece of Arts they are <3

Dancing in the Rain

Same thing like last year. All of our arms up and clapping with the lights shining in the entire auditorium.

MENT

Himchan, a man of nostalgia <3, started off by saying that how they last came to LA a year ago, and how much they missed us. Then, introductions began.

BABY LONGUE – Bang’s Pick

I think it was Daehyun who said that they wanted to react more with BABYz, which is the reason why they decided to choose BABYz to come on stage. When B.A.P were walking to sit down with the table that had drinks on it, Daehyun said, we called this, “The BABY Longue.” *flying hearts* This day was for Bang to choose: Street Style. He then got up with his hands tapping against his mouth and just observed at BABYz. It really took Bang a while to choose. ^^ When she came on stage, BABYz cheered her on. I totally love the positivity. (PS. I knew her because she had Japanese class with me a few years back). She couldn’t stop smiling and couldn’t even said her name. Just look at the fancam (especially 7:10 seconds), then you’ll get what I mean. haha.

Try My Luck (Jongup’s Solo)

During The BABY Longue, I didn’t see Uppie, which was probably why I knew his solo was coming up. JONGUP! Not gonna lie. Jongup was so graceful on stage! I died! Even though I saw Uppie singing, dancing, and rapping “지금” last year, this blew me even harder. Jongup always find his way to blow BABYz’ minds away. He’s so talented! SOLO ALBUM PLEASE!

Shine (Zelo’s Solo)

There was a stand on the stage. I honestly thought it was Youngjae’s solo, and I cheered for him. *embarrassed* Until I saw Junhong peeking out from stage left, and I was, “damn. Wrong.” LMAO. (Don’t be too quick minded like me, BABYz.) Before Junhong started, he told us that he wrote a song for us, and he hope that we all love it. Zelo stans were more dead than alive at this point. Junhong wasn’t rapping, but his singing was incredible! So proud of him!

Fermata

I didn’t like this song when it came out, but to hear it LIVE was a different story. DaeJaeUp was on stage. Daehyun was in the middle. Jongup was on Dae’s right, and Youngjae was on his left.

I Guess I Need You

I was expecting to see stands for this song, but they were dancing instead. I don’t remember this performance at all. Boo.

Body&Soul

Overhearing BABYz in line, many of them weren’t ready for this song at all. I guessed all of them were cringing at the fact that they might witness the hip-thrust but didn’t happen. Still got lots of scream when B.A.P twist their hips with perfection. And Himchan, of course, never disappoint me when he comes for his part <3 Bottom line: I was so happy to hear this song live. I’ve been waiting for three years to hear this.

Lie (Youngjae’s Solo)

Youngjae was dancing by himself on stage! *dies* I am so proud of him. He sang and danced.

Shadow (Daehyun’s Solo ft Zelo)

I love you, Dae, but memory’s not serving. Only when Junhong came out, BABYz were screaming. I didn’t expect to see Junhong, which was why I screamed too.

SKYDIVE

Before the song started, there was a nice tune playing but very intense. On the screen, it showed us Earth from outer space. We can see the clouds. Then, there were missiles, and I swear I saw a bomb? At the end of the clip, we see a person flying in the sky (or jumping off). To see ot6 performing this song (which we didn’t see during the promotions), it was a blessing. 

Young, Wild & Free

Behind B.A.P, from the bottom to the top, the screen slowly transition into red. I remembered after Zelo’s rap, Jongup came to the center and the two slapped each other’s hands before departing for Daehyun to pitch (Irrelevant example: you know like how Kai and Lay slapped hands during “Monster”—yeah, same thing but LIVE ^o^). It was so cool!

MENT

Wake Me Up

I still haven’t listened to this song enough to sing along (shame on me for being a sh*tty BABY), but all I remember was B.A.P gathering together at the end with the light beaming behind them, leaving us only their dark shadows. This image was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever saw <3

ENCORE

Check On

At first, it was just instrumental. In the screen, we see a silhouette of a person facing us, dancing along with B.A.P and the music. At first, we didn’t even know what was going on, but B.A.P wanted us to dance along with us. They taught us how to dance to it, which starts from head, shoulder, waist, clap (repeat twice) then brush your shoulders. Within a minute, BABYz got it, and they were dancing with the song ^^

SPY

Junhong and Jongup continued where they left off last year: the dance battle. Himchan went on chanting, “Moon Jongup! Moon Jongup!” and BABYz joined. After Jongup finished, he came to Himchan and the two slapped their hands. So cute~ Himchan was like a proud mom. I’ll just shut up before I start repeating myself of amazing our Jongup is haha.

Feel So Good

Be Happy

Carnival

I am not sure if it was either Carnival or Be Happy was when Himchan started fighting with the confetti. ^^ I remember there was a previous song (maybe in Feels so Good) was when a confetti was stuck on Himchan’s forehead, and then during one of these songs, the confetti was blowing so hard that it came to Himchan’s face. Poor Channie~

GOODBYE SPEECHES

Before their goodbye speeches, Daehyun asked us, “Which solo did you like best?” The voting was based on us cheering the loudest for the member we enjoyed most. I loved them all, but I cheered for Jongup and Youngjae. At the end, Junhong won with the most cheers. Himchan turned to Junhong and said, “Zelo wins!” Daehyun then asked us, “Who liked Himchan hyung?” My throat was so sore, but I screamed. After our cheers, Himchan said, “I win!” Haha <33 Himchan also apologized when he said that he and Bang couldn’t prepare a solo for us (Channie, you don’t need to say sorry). He said that he will plan something for us during the next tour.

Daehyun was trying to say his goodbye messages, but we kept on screaming. Daehyun continuously tried in telling us by saying, “calm down” and added, “Hey, this is my time.” But that didn’t stop BABYz. It was too the point where Daehyun was nearly begging when he said, “Pllleeaasssee~!” Ah, Daehyun’s too cute. Poor child. He was just trying to end the night haha.

I only remembered Youngjae and Jongup’s last words. Youngjae went on saying that he’s happy that every time B.A.P comes to LA, there is always a full house. He also said that he’s really comfortable with LA since there is a large Korean population. Youngjae ended with, “Please lots of Korean food.” ^.^

Jongup told us how he has families in LA and was talking about how his cousin (?) just gave birth (I couldn’t hear much with all of the cheers). I honestly can’t believe of how Jongup was able to trust us and inform us with such a deep story. Daehyun was like, “Jongup’s BABY” (he was referring to the newborn child) and pointed to us, “Our BABYz.” <33 Jongup ended by saying, “I love you, bro!” and made a heart! (I will talk about the “BRO” story later. It will make more sense, or if you saw GIFs of who started with the whole “Bro” thing, you know what I’m referring to.)

Oh, yes, I remembered before Bang was going to say his, everyone screamed. Bang was just standing on stage and smiling, listening to us cheering for Bang. I’d say that the cheers and screams for Bang went on for a good minute or so. Lots of love in room~

B.A.B.Y

When it comes to B.A.P, I love them so much, but I rarely cry about them, but at this moment of the concert, I got emotional. When this song came on, I was like “why does this sound so different from last year?” haha. On the screen, there was black and white videos of BABYz and B.A.P—from their first debut, throughout all of their tours, and just videos of smiling BABYz. I LOST IT!!! My eyes got watery and my heart was just trembling. LMAO. But my tears didn’t fall! I’ve talked to a few BABYz who told me they couldn’t afford to go to LOE last year right after B.A.P returned from hiatus, and this concert meant everything for them, and it was something very valuable (to be there that night and to hear how thankful B.A.P was for BABYz, wanting to dedicate this song for us). I think this song was the highlight for lots of BABYz and for B.A.P as well. <3

BANG x2

After B.A.B.Y ended, we found it odd of how the staff didn’t go on saying, “For those who have a checker wristband…blah blah blah….,” because this was what the staffs always say after the show. Until B.A.P came back unexpectedly with BANG x2, we were like OMFG. They totally caught us off guard! To enjoy one last moment with them was amazing! I think it was Youngjae who came out with a recorder attached to a selfie-stick. He began recording BABYz and the performance. Jongup then stole the stick and began taking the video. More confettis.

Bang took a poster a BABY made him, which I couldn’t see much from afar but it was a poster of AM 4:44 and the ribbon for mental health. Bang was so happy when he saw that and took it for his collection. Thank you for the BABY who made that poster. <3 

HIGHLIGHT

WE SANG HAPPY BIRTHDHAY TO HIMCHAN! AND I WAS THERE! FINALLY! In 2014, he was at Chicago, and I couldn’t go (and I wasn’t even a BABY just yet). Last year, I almost chased him to all the way to Vancouver to celebrate his birthday, but that is just insane, and I had classes. But this year! Oh, man! We took out the sign “내가수 김힘찬 태어나줘서 고마워” (Thank you Unlimited and Tivoli for getting this out to us despite Novo’s stupid rule of passing out banners!), and I held my sign (which Himchan couldn’t see from my distant >> see photo below). We sang his birthday twice for Channie, and I can see how touched he was. He was getting teary, but I could see how strong he held it in. Strong Chan never breaks (except for 2013 but that’s a different story). But he was so thankful. And this is how the “bro” thing came. Youngjae kept on saying, “Happy Birthday, Bro!” as he moves around Himchan and into different positions. Look at this wonderful GIF set, and you’ll see how hyper and adorable Youngjae was.

Daehyun asked us to say “Happy birthday, bro” after counting down to three. When we all said, “Happy birthday, bro,” B.A.P fell into laughter. These dorks~

Himchan also mentioned that it was their main stylists, Eji’s (이지), (or hairstylists—help me here BABYz if you remember) birthday (he also spelled out the characters for us ^^). Youngjae then turned to stage left towards the back stage and yelled, “Happy birthday, Eji Bro!” This kid. lol C(;

Thanks to my short legs, my sign was all I saw in this photo Himchan posted on his IG. LOL. The direct translation for my sign is “Step into the world with strength (or bodly),” which I meant to say “Himchan, walk strongly.“

Photo Below: A picture of my sign and the birthday gift I gave Himchan.

HITOUCH

After the show, we lined up in the pit and waited for a good 10-15minutes. Danny, B.A.P’s translator, informed us the rules of using our phone: no taking photos and, especially, no videos, or they will delete everything we’ve taken on our phone (from the concert). Strict, but I can understand and respect that rule. Before the line started moving, I turned to the girls behind me and warned them that I might take my sweet time on Himchan. Haha. While approaching the hitouch, I saw Daehyun’s back and next to him was Channie. I was so “NO!” because I wanted Himchan to be last lol.

DAEHYUN: I was shocked to see Daehyun. All I did or say was “Oh, hey!” and slapped his hands. He was just smiling. I only remember his teeth and his cute cheeks. I cannot remember anything else.

HIMCHAN: When I turned and saw Himchan, who was sitting on the table and ready to give me a hi-five, I went OH-MY-FRONT-DOOR! I slapped his hands, and I quickly took out the gift I prepared (which I was hiding away from the securities). I caught Himchan off guard because he had already directed his attention to give @b90xng15 a hi-five. When he saw me still standing in front of him and handing him his birthday gift, I remembered Himchan withdrawing his hands and accepted it. From what @b90xng15 told me, she saw Himchan grabbing the gift and placed it on his laps when I left.  I didn’t even tell him what I wanted to say (I have confidently plotted out what to say), but I couldn’t even say one word to him, not even “I love you.” Darn. And he didn’t even make eye contact with me. I don’t even remembered if he touched my hands or not while grabbing my present. *sobs*

BANG: After Himchan, I wasn’t paying attention, and I saw Bang’s smiling face next. I honestly or accidentally said “Oh my, wow!” in front of Bang, which was probably why he was laughing the entire time when I hi-five him. LOL. So adorable. Bang’s right. He’s not even scary in person. So adorable and gummy <333

JONGUP: My moment with Uppie was so quick. I was so shocked because Jongup is tall. Haha. (Well, again, I am short so everyone’s tall). I remembered Jongup gave me his one-sided smile, which I think is the most adorable thing ever. I thank him and slapped his hands.

YOUNGJAE: Youngjae was the only one I actually stopped and took a brief second as we both made eye contact. I smiled, thanked him, and gave him a high-five. Youngjae (my bias wrecker) looked so handsome in person! So glad we took that quick second!

ZELO: When I came to Junhong, he had his right hand ready for me. As I came towards him with a hi-five, he quickly switched his hands and gave me left hands instead with a killer smile. I laughed and slapped his hands with both of my hands because he confused me. LOL. What a tease~ Junhong’s so cute and TALL.

Hitouch, overall, was so fast, which kinda upset me because B.A.P is my ultimate group (Of course, along my lovelies, B1A4). The staff was really pushing us to keep going, and I was so pressured. Luckily, I still have this small memories of how my boys look like even though it was literally a second each. I remembered getting out from the Novo upset and at the edge of wanting to cry. My lame ass was mourning over the fact I couldn’t say anything to Himchan (BABYz, don’t be a crybaby like me ^^) LOL.

(Photo of my Checker Wristband. I fought so hard for this thing haha)

END

I want to thanks all of the BABYz I met and who was able to keep me busy during the dreadful wait—@b90xng15 and @hiddenhina. @meaty-glory-himchans-thighs, thank you for the gift. I love it to death, and you are so beautiful! We need to meet up again! So happy for you and your opportunity to meet and give Channie your beautiful gift! I know he’s so happy! We are so gonna get Boba when I come to the bay area! @daehyuns-uneven-buttcheeks, you are so pretty omfg, and I want to borrow your legs! I know Dae was so dead when he encountered your beauty! LOL. Glad we were able to meet and talk! Girls, we need to take a photo next time! I had a great time with you all, and especially to those who were so kind to save our spots during the pre-show. I am so thankful that there are many honest BABYz out there. BABYz are so wonderful and amazing! I think one of the highlights of this experience was, of course, seeing B.A.P and meeting BABYz.

All of those hours of waiting and those crazy moments of getting those P1 tickets were worth it! This trip was extremely exhausting because we had to go straight home right after the concert (and LA was a six hour drive back but a 10 hour drive with bus), but PartyBABY was one of the greatest experiences in my life. Crazy but one the best!!! Next time, I will be there earlier than ever, hopefully. And I will make Himchan look at me LOL. B.A.P is the best thing that ever happened to my life! I am so glad that I was able to spend this beautiful Sunday evening with my fellow BABYz and my boys! Never felt more alive. Looking for those years to come with everyone and with B.A.P <333

**I didn’t take any fancam of the show, only this short video of the line when I first came to the venue at 9:30AM.**

[gilrael]

I was tagged by my friend @rolling-blunder​ (<3) to list the first lines of my last 20 stories (or less, but I have too many stories lmao) and look for patterns.

This is going to be a mix of fanfics and some original stories (I’ll translate some of them from German) and I’m not gonna bother with drabbles, so here we go:

Waiting for a miracle (Haikyuu!! fanfic): Kinoshita is lying in Kazuhito's bed, fast asleep. There are still traces of tears glittering on his cheek, but Kazuhito doesn't wipe them away, afraid that he'll wake him up.

Between the lines (Yuri!!! On Ice fanfic): Banquets tended to be stuffy affairs. Victor had been attending them regularly ever since his time in the junior division and if he'd had the chance to do so, he would've excused himself half an hour into the party after he'd shaken hands with all the important sponsors and officials.

Aftermath (Yuri!!! On Ice fanfic): They haven't had the time to talk yet. Yuuri and Victor were both too busy giving interviews to discuss that they just kissed in front of the entire world (or at the very least the part of the world that watches figure skating on TV). Nobody has asked them about the kiss yet, which Yuuri is grateful for. Maybe Victor's arms shielded them from view.

Hold my heart (Yuri!!! On Ice fanfic): The noise of the crowd is drowned out by the sound of his own pulse in his ears as Yuuri comes to a stop in the middle of the ice. He barely registers the flowers and plushies raining down around him, his eyes go straight to where Victor is standing, staring back at him in awe.

I am what I am (Haikyuu!! fanfic): The distinct smell of tobacco, alcohol and weed hung in the air, making Chikara tense up as he stepped into the flat. What he saw beyond the threshold made him frown – cans of beer tipped over and spilling on the hardwood floor, cartons with half eaten pizza on the coffee table, and an overflowing ashtray balanced on a throw pillow. 

Moving forward (Haikyuu!! fanfic): When Chikara had opened the letter, he'd felt relieved and happy, but now his acceptance at a school in Tokyo weighed on his mind like lead. He really wanted to become a director and the Musashino Art University offered the exact kind of courses Chikara needed to achieve his dream.

Rock Star (Haikyuu!! fanfic): As Tadashi idly scrolled through his Facebook feed, he got a new notification. Nekoma (Band) mentioned you in a post “Kenma tasked me with...” Curiously, he clicked on it.

Hey it’s OK (Haikyuu!! fanfic): As bentos go it was pretty ordinary. It wasn't fancy or cute, just rice, meat and some veggies neatly sectioned off with plastic dividers. What made it special was that Chikara had received it as a surprise from his boyfriend. 

Close your eyes and kiss me (Haikyuu!! fanfic): Being the captain of a high school volleyball team was stressful and having a boisterous bald guy for a vice-captain did not help Chikara in the least. Tanaka revelled in the attention he got from the new first years, who were all rather impressionable and stared wide-eyed whenever the ace pulled off a great spike. 

King of Crows (Haikyuu!! fanfic): The nightmare used to haunt me all the time. I'd see myself sitting in the top branches of a tree, wearing a crown and robe befitting a king. 

Supergirls just fly (Haikyuu!! fanfic): I'm scared of walking home alone at night recently. It's not just the result of being a small young woman in a world filled with creeps. I've always been petite and I'm used to being leered at by older men on street corners. I'm not exactly comfortable with their stares, but I know to ignore them.

This is the life (Haikyuu!! fanfic): There's sunlight coming through a gap in my curtains and it's shining directly on my face. It could be comfortable, warm and nice, but it isn't.

Black Feather (Haikyuu!! fanfic): If there was one thing Hinata Shōyō was good at, then it would be running. And it looked like that was exactly the thing he should be doing right about now, because Shallot Head was looking at him with wide eyes. 

We are still invincible (Haikyuu!! fanfic): It's strange how much things can change in a matter of months. I still remember the match against Kitagawa Daiichi like it was yesterday. I remember every bruise and every minute of a match that only lasted for roughly half an hour.

Silent (original story): “Alexei, could you take over the cash register? I’m gonna take a break.” According to the cadence of her voice, Nina hasn’t had a smoke since two hours ago. It’ll probably be for the best if I do as she says without complaint.

Silent - Answers to unasked questions (original story): I remember the sobs of my mother as if it was yesterday. It’s a noise I never want to hear ever again. My father grabbed her by the arm and shouted at her, spit flying everywhere. It wasn’t the first time that I witnessed something like this. 

Wen der Geist Gottes treibt... / Those who are led by the spirit of God... (original story, also known as that novel I’ve been working on for years): Ben had already started to wonder when they’d ambush him again, but anticipation did not make it easier. He’d tried to prepare mentally, but now he was even more scared.

Kopfüber ins Chaos / Headfirst into chaos (original story): I can do it. I will do it. Today, I’ll tell her. She won’t leap with joy, she won’t congratulate me, but maybe she’ll stay my friend.

Von hier an blind / From now on we’re blind (original story): The warm light of the sun falls through my windows directly onto Tini’s shaking shoulders. Carefully, I wrap my arms around him and softly pet his short, messy hair.

Dunkelheit / Darkness (Das Vermächtnis der Wölfe fanfic): A familiar, clattering sound rips me from my sleep. Time to eat. I can’t tell what time it is. My sense of time has disappeared along with my eyesight, but I think there’s not a lot to see down here anyway.

Well, as far as I can tell I like to start with the characters either doing something or thinking about what they have done/are currently doing. And I only started off with dialogue once. Other than that I’m just cringing at my first Haikyuu!! fanfics lmao

I’m tagging @morisuke-kun and @thepessimistsblog (if you guys feel like doing it)

[genocidaltophattedoharo]

What did you guys get for Christmas??? Anyone get any deals on Steam???

I myself received JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Manga, all of the Part 1 volumes in a set <3 from a friend of my mother’s and a headset that we had to return because it just wouldnt configure to my computer its the most confusing thing ever everything would work except for i couldnt hear sound out of it whatsoever, but its fine cause my best friend irl hooked me up with an old headset of his thats still in good condition C: So im happy 

I had also bought quite a few things on Steam with steam gift cards I received and some from my own money

1. VA-11 Hall-A Cyberpunk Bartender Action : I was craving a bartending game for some reason and thought it would be a shot in the dark to check if Steam had anything of the sort but damn if i was surprised. VA-11 Hall-A or as its said Valhalla is about a bartender named Jill working in a semi-mediocre bar in this cyberpunk futuristic setting, there’s robots and humans for the most part of what ive seen but i also heard from other character dialogue that there’s even some type of animals that are characters. In short to keep this from being a super long ass post the gameplay is you creating drinks for customers that come in and order and you chat with them and get to know their character sometimes things they say come up later on and each one of them is memorable as fuck dude like even the cynical ones are interesting to talk to :^T. The dialogue is REALLY FUNNY and not TOO futuristic, without rambling on and making ppl read too much its DEFINITELY worth a look.

As someone who usually would be turned off by the thought of a bartending visual novel game, I can assure you dude, its not what it sounds like. If i had a complaint about this game my only sole complaint would be that the Steam description is a misleading intentional joke but i almost dashed it off as one of those dating visual novels if i didnt take a closer look into it. though i guess people who judge books by their cover typically are the only ones missing out hehe

2. Skullgirls :i LOVE skullgirls, cerebella is my favorite to play as

3.Suits : This game is literally less than a dollar like clocking in at like literally 70 cents on Steam right now and even then its SUUUUUPER cheap. If you like OFF like me, you’d get a similar vibe from it like i did. I havent played much but its worth atleast a look at the trailer if you dont like rpg maker games then i dont think itll be up your alley imo

4.Tomb Raider 2013: One of my friends recommended this to me and DAMNNNNNN THAT INTRO WAS BRUTALLLLL, i plan to play this at some point but it seems like a big game to complete so I have it set aside for now but man did it get my attention

5.Papers, Please: Literally havent touched this game yet just heard its good

6.Ultimate Chicken Horse: THIS GAME IS SOOOOO FUN TO PLAY WITH FRIENDS, make sure you’re playing with multiple people though! its definitely more fun with more people. its a cute little game where you create obstacles on the course and whoever can overcome them and get to the goal a number of times, wins. you can play as a cute little sheep,chicken,chameleon,raccoon,horse or bunny as characters too!

7.Grim Fandango Remastered : I really have wanted to play this for some time, i like it a lot so far the cutscenes remind me of like old 90s cgi and for some thatd seem canny by todays standards but i love it, i love that you can physically see the game’s age while at the same time are able to enjoy it remastered.

8. ASTRONEER :This game is really nice to look at and I am dying to have someone to play it with someday soon :DDD I really was interested in playing a space game and Astroneer features you being able to explore planets with friends and do space exploration and such :T. 

9. Psychonauts: I heard this game was underrated, I initially dont know a thing about it other than it was released on the original xbox as an exclusive and that it was 90 cents on steam

10. Dangan ronpa trigger happy havoc : I love the art style for this game’s characters, Ive known about this series since like what 2014?? Was that when these games were made, i saw some shitposts from the fanbase they were pretty neat too, a lot of my friends like it as well but i never actually sat down to play a dangan ronpa game at all. A friend of mine had tried to get me to check out the series by saying you solve mysteries like Ace Attorney, so I had seen half an episode of Dangan Ronpa The Animation back then but I lost interest very quick sadly. Unfortunately at the time I hadnt heard that was the worst way to get a first impression of the series lmao, but anyways, who knows, this could even kick off a whole new type of game content on my blog, the fandom seems to be a fun bunch as well. 

11.Hyper Light Drifter : NEVER BEFORE HAVE I SEEN SUCH SWEET SAVORY GLOSSY BRIGHT COLORFUL PIXEL ART IN A MANNER SUCH AS THIS GAME HAS PRESENTED. it really seems like a game i need to play soon, infact i plan to play it after I beat Valhalla (Even though it has multiple endings HHHHHHH this game keeps getting better). If you dont know what hyper light drifter is my guy, check it 

And that wraps up every game I got from 2016 Steam’s Winter sale. But ive been talking a LOT, what have u homies gotten yourselves over the holidays

[finsterhund]

Sunday, last day, is very slow. Watching the table and trying not to fall asleep.

I wish I had managed to save more money but alas. Mad at the skytrain and badge fiasco. But at the very least this con has been getting ROASTED for their poor management and money hungry ways.

I still feel really bad about not supporting the one day artists. But I really had no idea they were there. They were also put in a bad spot at the faaaar end of the alley. I don't want to go over there unable to commission them. I could collect buisiness cards to commission them online later, but there's already a ton of artists like that already.

Soon. Lmao.

We close at 5 today. So it won't be as long. I'm not looking forward to the drive back lmao. I am looking forward to being able to sleep in my own bed and not someplace noisy and dark though. I also really want to finally start scanning art again. Hope my scanner wasn't broken that one time it toppled over in the night.

I had that damn two and a half day computer task running while we were away and I really hope that it finished and something stupid didn't happen again like the power going out. One fear.

After that's over I don't really have any more really CPU intensive computer things to do. Then I can just play HoD and Minecraft and not have to worry. If you guys are wondering what I'm doing I'm backing up things. I have way too many files and every once in a while I reorganize some stuff. I technically have four (six if you count ones that I assume were given to me but don't actually know) more working hard disk drives to work with, but I'll leave that until after I've sorted my electronics tote. That's my last thing I need to sort before everything with the move is completely over. My next tech project will probably be salvaging what I can from my 90s scrap computer which has been lying in pieces for like two years. I want to keep the case for it but the metal bottom part is so badly rusted and I need to try some more aggressive rust removal techniques. I thought how neat it'd be if I built my brand new computer in that 90s case but it's not in the best shape.

I've sorta become designated tech guy, responsible for disposing of everybody else's electronic waste and hey, if it means I might finally get enough laptop ram ot of it sure. My issue is I don't know how to access the ram compartment in my current temporary laptop. Otherwise I'd have fixed the abysmally low amount by now. Maybe I'll be able to build something out of everybody else's old junk lmao. I have a pile of really old dingy flash memory sticks and I'm debating just throwing the poor things away. They're unreliable now, but I still feel bad. There's no good use for unreliable flash memory. It's a liability. I wanna get a small brand new flash drive that's just for having reference images on it. I technically already have one but it's so big it seems like a waste. These things have gotten so big in the past few years. We're talking ones that are terobytes of storage. At that point why not just get a solid state? I guess price? But it's so weird to me.

Now that there's no more cons and I'm no longer living off frozen food and unable to go outside I can finally recover from the move. Both physically and financially and I finally start saving up money again for my new computer.

I also need to buy a new USB charging port card for my phone. I can't check right now because no internet to see how much they sell for but it's probably not too bad.

Checked in on the artist. My commission is coming along really well. Andy is in a super actiony pose. Somewhat canonical too. Don't know if it was intentional:

When he does his little jump-run his hat bounces a lil bit off his head and it looks like that.

I really just want the con to be over so I can get back home and be in my own little world to be honest. But after the con it's like an eight hour drive :( please save me.

I just want to surround myself in Heart of Darkness fan art and stuffed dogs.

Turns out the reason why this con sucks and the reason why a con I used to really like started to suck is because it got bought out by a company called InformiCan. They buy Canadian conventions and then ruin them.

Ugh.

There's like four hours left and I'm surviving. No Andy cosplay because at this point it's be just too much work and my toe is still bad. If you guys want I could provide a photo but it's gross. The brusing and swelling have gone down a lot but it's still in pretty sore shape.

There's a stage on the other side of the artist alley and for the entire con they've been blaring really loud bad singing. I guess they received complaints because now it's just fandomy music that's still being blared very loud, but no off key pop songs and people yelling offbeat really loud that is apparently supposed to be rap.

Got the digital Andy. Or saw it. Don't have the file yet because no internet. He looks awesome.

One hour left of the con. I'm so excited to be going home lmao. I want to drown in drawings of Andy and eat junk food. I remember that I have popcicles in the freezer back home owo

Thirty minutes left and your table neighbors have gotten McDonald's. I can smell it and want to die. "I could eat a horse!" is in my head on loop.

Aaaaand it's 5. Time to pack up. Sad it's over because it's the end of an era but I really want some alone time once we get home... After over 8 hours... OOF

I hugged Sam goodbye because it'll probably be the last time I see them for a while because we won't be coming back to cons here. I managed not to cry until I was back at my table. My friend says that we'll probably go to cons here eventually again someday. It just hurts my heart to not see friends for a while.

I wish people aren't just freaking rude for no reason. For a while this con this person just kept fricking glaring and I don't even know why. It's like the guy who got physically confrontational to check badges. You're expending more energy just to be unkind.

Got internet at the McDonald's. Kinda had a mental breakdown and I'm embarrassed by it.

Will probably not have substancial internet until I get back home.

Apparently my package is missing. I'm scared. Hope it comes on Monday.