#so i figured i would get a new one and also upgrade it a lil bit as my current backpack was actually my school bag

[binch-i-might-be]

trying to find a new backpack is so hard because they're all so fucking ugly

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 407: Wait Why Are You Running Away

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan figured out how to control his quirk upgrade and was totally chill and normal about it. Definitely not terrifying at all. He actually spent the entire chapter smiling and laughing like the wholesome little boy he is. I don’t know why Kid For One is so freaked out about it. He even politely introduced himself using his childhood nickname. Clearly he just wants to be friends with you, KFO!

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “sorry to keep you waiting, here’s the AFO and Yoichi flashback you ordered at long last” and proceeds to serve a nightmarish stew of HUMAN MISERY and RATS and STABBING and CARNAGE and SO MUCH MURDER and THE SINGLE MOST FUCKED-UP CASE OF CODEPENDENCY ANYONE HAS EVER WRITTEN. I was not even remotely prepared for any of this, and if anyone else claims that they were, I will call you a liar to your face. If this chapter had a mouth it would scream. Or just sob, ceaselessly and uncontrollably. I’m really glad Horikoshi is on break next week because that man needs to take a fucking nap. My god.

okay WOW

anyone else read the first two words and just immediately say to themselves, “oh okay, so it’s gonna be one of those chapters”? I mean, I guess we were due for a darker chapter after last week’s Kacchan Comedy Tour. but idk, I just wasn’t expecting “homeless sick prostitute with a drinking problem” levels of dark

AND SHE’S PREGNANT?!

what exactly is this manga rated again? doesn’t this backstory seem just a little bit raw for the impressionable kiddos??

has anyone actually checked in on Horikoshi recently? you know, just to make sure he is okay??

what a fun and wholesome manga this is

the lil baby arm covered in blood with the AFO hole on the palm. lying next to the dead mom hand. what an image to sear into our minds. I guess it’s been a while since he killed any dogs. gotta keep us on our toes somehow

also wasn’t expecting AFO and Yoichi to be twins! that puts an interesting spin on their relationship, because it’s usually a closer bond than even regular siblings. especially with all of that delightful shared trauma from a young age!!

yes, exactly

ohhhh this chapter is gonna hurt me, isn’t it. okay. ooooooookay. let’s do this

OH I’M SORRY, THERE’S MORE?!

Horikoshi my dude. you do realize that their mom dying in childbirth and the two of them just barely surviving and growing up as street orphans would have already been MORE than tragic enough, backstory-wise. you did not have to turn this into a freaking horror show with RATS TRYING TO EAT THEIR NEWBORN SELVES jesus christ

and THAT’S where you chose to put a one year timeskip?!

what the fuck am I reading here, you guys. no please tell me, I am actually desperate to understand

so the narrator is saying that some of the quirks manifested later in life, in “pubescent and pre-pubescent stages”, which is interesting because it’s the first time I can recall hearing about someone actually manifesting a quirk that late. maybe Deku’s old OFA cover story was more plausible than I realized

anyway so eventually it occurred to everyone that they should maybe freaking study this shit, idk. and eventually the researchers concluded that the superpowers came from a new gene that apparently isn’t human. and upon hearing that, society apparently lost its freaking mind. which is fascinating to me because it implies that the turning point wasn’t actually the superpowers themselves, but the realization of what it meant

like, so they were apparently fine with it when they thought it was a “mysterious disease”, but somehow it hit different when they learned it wasn’t actually a sickness at all, but instead the Next Step in Evolution. and it became an “us vs them” thing, as opposed to a “we have to cure these poor people” thing. damn

anyway so now Japan is a dystopia and we’re cutting to a big crowd of merc-looking dudes who are getting ready to attack some “meta freaks”, how lovely

but who is this figure in the shadows

I ask politely, as if it wasn’t already beyond obvious that this is AFO about to wreck some people’s shit

ohhhhh my god lmao

hopefully Katsuki and Deku can take the present day AFO out before he winds up looking like this. because this little fella is clearly demonic and idk if anyone can stop him

you all don’t understand. you need to run the fuck away right now

oh shit it’s already too late for them

it’s too late for any of us. it’s over. it’s all fucking over

((((；゜Д゜)))

AFO I am putting the manga down. I am backing away slowly with my hands in the air. I mean you no harm. please for the love of god have mercy

holy

“you see, we told you he wasn’t human” okay Scientific Research Group, you know what?? you win this round I guess

“HE WAS LITERALLY EVIL FROM BIRTH” HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY ARE YOU OKAY??

HE WAS BORN AN ARROGANT BABY is literally the most terrifying sentence I have ever read

what the entire fuck

it’s a gorgeous sunny mid-November afternoon outside my window. but no matter how hard it tries, the light cannot reach this place

what kind of moron would throw a can of soda at him. officially the stupidest person we have ever seen in this manga

OH MY GOD OF COURSE IT’S HIM LMAO

(ETA: how come baby Yoichi has clothes that fit him perfectly but baby AFO is just stomping around wearing a tablecloth.)

BABY YOICHI. OH MY GOD. HOW THE HELL DID YOU GROW UP TO BE SANE AND KIND AND GOOD. THAT’S MY QUESTION THAT I NEED ANSWERED RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE LITERALLY A MIRACLE. YOU ARE AN IMPOSSIBILITY, DO YOU KNOW THAT

small and weak, but also so, so cute. all of the cuteness genes went straight to him. no wonder AFO was jealous

(ETA: just want to press pause for a second to speculate about what type of twins AFO and Yoichi are, since it has some relevance to the story, and especially to the OFA/AFO quirk lore. so! at first glance the two of them would appear to be fraternal twins, just based on the fact that they have very different appearances, and also the fact that Yoichi doesn’t have the AFO quirk – no holes in his hands, etc. identical twins are born from the same fertilized egg, so in theory they would both have the same sequence of DNA, which means Yoichi would have had the same quirk as AFO. but that doesn’t appear to be the case. so all of that points to them being fraternal, not identical.

on the other hand, there is one piece of evidence in this chapter that does support them being identical twins, and that’s the fact that per the narration, AFO absorbed most of the nutrients from their mother. a few minutes of google fu informed me that this condition is relatively rare, and only happens in cases where two twins share a placenta, which typically is only the case for identical twins. HOWEVER, for what it’s worth, there have also been rare instances where two fraternal twin placentas fuse together and become a single placenta. AND this apparently also increases the chances of one of the twins gaining more of the nutrients and causing the other twin to have a lower birth weight.

so based on the evidence here, my conclusion is that the two of them are most likely fraternal twins with a case of placental fusion. besides, you can’t tell me that stealing his baby brother’s placenta while the two of them are literally still in the womb doesn’t sound like exactly the type of BS that fetus!AFO would pull, lol.)

HEY!?!

okay?!?!?! well to be fair he did throw that soda at him

oh my god this is so fucked up. in like the best and worst way possible

I genuinely couldn’t ask for a better AFO backstory. it’s so incredibly twisted, and you actually do feel sorry for him. or at least I do. but it’s also beyond clear that this kid was FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REASON right from the get go. zero goodness in him. literally doesn’t see other people as people. sees them as possessions only. things to rule over. not other thinking, feeling human beings. and that includes his own little brother

but. even if it’s not actually what I would call love, there’s still... attachment, there. it’s the closest he can get to actually caring about someone. guh. just, somehow they have both managed to humanize him, and at the same time made him less human than ever. this manga, man. this fucking manga, though

lmao and here we go. Captain Hero

you know, all those times that I made fun of AFO for not knowing how to read, I never suspected that the twist in his backstory would be that he LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO READ dfksjdlfkjslkdf

but seriously though. because Yoichi appears to be self-taught, and I can’t see AFO having the patience for that, and CLEARLY no one else was around to teach him, sooooo...

oh my goodness it’s actually getting wholesome up in here

what a good fucking boy. poor AFO. fuck me, I can’t help it. it’s not your fault you’re the world’s greatest monster you poor bastard

now we’re cutting to THREE YEARS LATER. okay

is he going to declare war on the glowing baby

typical teenager concerned about nothing but likes and view counts. AFO you would be so much happier if you stopped worrying about all of that and just focused on your own growth

oh, lol. well that was quick

(ETA: r.i.p. Damien.)

“this guy had more instagram followers than me. so I killed him” honey. sweetie pie. you need therapy

omfg

all this time I was wondering who AFO’s middle school lit teacher was who had failed so spectacularly at teaching him reading comprehension. and it was YOICHI ALL ALONG. omg

“and, presumably, that’s how it always was and always will be.” dude. can you imagine listening to AFO’s oral book report on A Tale of Two Cities. “ahem. it was the Best of Times. the end” buddy noooooooo

it was at that moment when Yoichi knew, etc. etc.

oh my GOD I scrolled down to the next panel right after this one and I just IMMEDIATELY DIED LAUGHING

“WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID” ffffffffffffffff I fucking can’t omfg

NOW THIS HUSSY IS STEALING HIS BROTHER AWAY FROM HIM NOOOOOOO

HE’S HIS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!!

oh my god the hands. so wait, is this just the standard symbolic BnHA handholding, or are there More Levels To This. when exactly did Yoichi pass OFA on to Kudou. like is that why the sudden close-up and all that? omg

WHAT!!!!

OH THAT’S THE END, HUH? THAT’S THE END RIGHT THERE, AND THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS. I SEE. OKAY THEN. EXCUSE ME WHILE I PUT MY LAPTOP DOWN AND GO INTO THE NEXT ROOM AND SCREAM INTO A PILLOW

oh my god. and break next week too. this is what you guys have been dealing with this entire time huh. I understand your feelings now. godfuckingdammit lmao

[teabiscs]

Any Kai/Tyson headcanons?

I'm glad you asked.

I don't see them getting together until post-GRev, BUT if they did. Holy shit would I rewrite GREV to be the most angst broken up TyKa fic ever where they eventually get back together.

So that being said. Post-GRev.

I think post GRev, Kai would be able to open more to Takao. But that’s not to say that Takao accepts that initially. He has trust issues and Kai constantly leaves. He’d have to prove to Takao that he’s here for the long haul. Also its always a looming thought in the back of Takao's head that Kai is going to leave. He always leaves.

And maybe Takao needs a lil bit to figure out his sexuality. He’s always had some type of feelings towards the phoenix, but now it’s putting more clarity on them. It’s definitely more than just a rivalry for each other. They’re so… they’re each other’s opposites.

Communication is their big issue. They both have trouble expressing themselves. Takao explodes, while Kai disappears. The world could burn down from their arguments. they’re both so headstrong and neither want to admit to being wrong, even when the blame is equally shared. 

When they’re alone, Kai is so soft for Takao. His guard is down and its so easy being open and exposed. Vulnerable. Kai resting his head in Takao’s lap, reading a book, while Takao is playing some video game, cARDING HIS HANDS THROUGH KAI’S HAIR WHEN HE DIES AND IS IN A LOADING SCREEN. Kai giving these special expressions and smiles that are for Takao’s eyes only. 

They can be each other’s rock when they’re feeling low. Some days are more of a struggle than others. Takao struggles with his insecurities and Kai struggles with his anxieties. Wiping tears in dark on hoodie sleeves. Or kissing away salty tears. Reassuring kisses all over. Also. Takao kissing Kai’s post Brooklyn scar over his eye.

Them playing out their rivalry for the cameras, then going home together with trophies and checks, wrapped up around one another. one. Laughing about their battles. Them working on their blades together and getting secretive about their upgrades when it comes time for tournaments, because they will always be each other's greatest rival. Them doing a doubles tournament and running away with the whole thing because they play off of each other so well. ALSO just think about Dragoons winds feeding Dranzer’s flames. (They might get a little carried away and again they need to break out the fire extinguishers, and Hiwatari Enterprises is writing another check to fix the damage that Kai has caused)

Them going through photo albums and Takao making fun of Kai’s clothes and Kai smuggling going, but you were still in love with me back then, so it couldn’t have been that off putting. And Takao flushing HARD.

Also I hc their love languages as: 

Takao- Physical Touch and  Quality Time

Kai - Physical touch

So they're always touching in some way. Takao holding onto the tail of Kai’s scarf. Kai standing next to Takao with his arm pressed up against Takao’s. Sitting practically on top of each other. When they go out to eat, their feet are always touching. Kai rubbing his foot up Takao’s leg, looking nonchalant as ever, while Takao is fumbling and red. Takao kissing all over Kai's exposed shoulders. Also Takao marking Kai as his, because hickies look so pretty on Kai's fair skin, and Takao just DOES not bruise, much to Kai's displeasure.

Kai doesn't understand Takao’s need, at first, for him to go with him for errands. Doesn’t understand why Takao wants him to sit next to him when he’s playing video games. But slowly he gets it. And then he’s the one offering Takao the opportunity to do mundane things with him. Going to a konbini together to get drinks and snacks. The parts store. Walks. Kai’s new go to reading place is Takao’s bed, with Takao playing video games or watching anime. And Takao convinces Kai to watch anime with him, and just sit still.  

(Also hear me out. Hiromi AND Max plotting together to get these two together. But it backfires. 

HEAR ME OUT. 

Hiromi is always hyping Kai up to Takao, so Takao is like okay>????? And? Want me to put a good word in for you?

Max does the same to Kai. He hypes up Takao to Kai. And Kai is all raised eyebrows, and is like if you like Takao you should ask him out, but I thought you were with XYZ.

And eventually Hiromi and Max are fed up and are like you two need to get together and stop this nonsense, but TyKa is like oh were already dating”

And Rei being like you two didn’t know? Is that why you two were being so weird?)

(Another idea I like is, Hiromi recognizing that the two of them have feelings, but Kai is too shy? To do anything about it, and Takao is too dense, and is fighting some internal demons [his bisexuality] so when Takao asks her out, out of obligation, idk he feels like he should be with her. Everyone is saying so. Trying to push them together. And it's tiring, so he does.

And HIROMI. AN ALLY. Just like metaphorically holding his hand through his revelation that it’s okay to like guys and want to kiss his teammate.  There’s a TyKa fic I would love to read. Also her just like gently nudging Kai to do SOMETHING. And hes so confused bc Hiromi and Takao are dating? And How does she know?????)

Also. They’re Verse.

[madamscream]

My typical way of experiencing... well, everything, if we're honest... is to avoid having any expectations. It's something I learned how to do, and I stick to it pretty well. While it was originally mostly a bulwark against a chaotic childhood making my lil autistic ass have to figure out how to do without any sort of routine, the most profound effect it has these days is drastically increasing my enjoyment of media.

The only time I find myself disappointed with something, in that sense, is when they do something that it literally would have been better to have done nothing at all. Solmare has managed to do this a few times.

And YET. Here I am. I think so much about Obey Me that I can't help but speculate, and I've gone and got my hopes up because I've realized that there are some really fucking cool things they could do. I'm feverish, so this might get long... gunna put it under a cut.

So. I started playing the OG Obey Me about a year and a half ago. The fourth season either came out right as I started, or was already out. I never was really effected by the wait time for the next season drop, and the limbo that left fans in, so I get that my perspective is different than most.

But my perspective is this: they had a cool story with some neat concepts, both story-wise meta game stuff, but the game play was so ass it could barely be called game play, the balancing is insane (I've scraped through the main story using countless glow sticks but most of the extra lessons are still beyond me will full teams of lvl 100+ cards), and they'd written themselves into several corners they didn't know how to get out of.

Then they released Nightbringer. It has it's issues, sure, but as a game? I enjoy it about 1000% more than OG. The story is one of being thrown back in time and trying to find your way home, which we managed last chapter. On April 13th, the game will have been out one year. I think that's when they'll drop the next season but...

It would be so wildly cool if they also merged the games. The MC's just returned to the timeline from OG, supposedly, though hadn't Solomon suggested that... y'know, everyone had noticed you disappearing? OG is at it's end of life. It's pretty clear they're going to shut it down at some point. I want, so so so badly, for 4/13 to hit, a massive update to be available, and the entirety of OG's story line to have been ported to NB. I want the accounts to merge together. I want to have all my cards and I want there to be a new Nightmare chapter with all the old cards from OG and I want the plot moving forward to be a mess of scrambled timeline shit, trying to figure out who NB is, and stress. From a game dev perspective, they have the chance to do something so so wildly awesome and I KNOW they won't. I KNOW I'm going to be disappointed. But FUCK it'd be cool...

I have so many ideas on how it could be done... and I'm well aware it'd probably piss a lot of people off still, but people are pissed off anyways. I think it'd make more people happy than it did angry.

And I know some people don't like Ruri-tunes but like... at least it's a game. I'm no huge fan of rhythm games tbh. I honestly hated them before Ruri-tunes, but I disliked the dance battles so much that I've started liking rhythm games more just because it was suck an upgrade imo

Anyways. That's the end of my rant. I want them to do meta shit that ties into their story basically. Thank you for coming to Mal's fever talk.

[lunastars21]

My god would ya believe me if I said clutch is way more underrated than fang! Cuz I can't find shit about this Opossum and he's in recent comics!

Welp time to change that

Clutch headcanon time

He's obviously a boomer, He WAS legit in retirement when he first appeared in IDW, but now he's building his empire again, still also focusing on Chao racing as a lil bonus.

I'd like to think after the whole Amy and friends fiasco he does treat chaos a bit better, would the ones he trapped never Wana get near him again? Yeah sure he doesn't care, Chao races are the least of his importance now, plus less trouble for him, but at least some new ones would get better treatment.

Did he adopt rough and tumble? Yes, he doesn't admit it but shows it through action, they do speak louder than words after all

Whenever he recalls his past, it's a visualization of a 60's like anime where he's much younger.

Rough and Tumble try to catch him up with memes, but since the duo is always late with the trends, so is clutch. He's beraly hearing about the Dr. Livesey meme and it's already been months now guys come on.

Clutch and Fang have a mutual friendship, they'll help each other, and once the mission is done they go their separate ways, Clutch states Fang still has much to learn.

Besides his FUCKING cane gun, clutch knows to hand to hand combat, using his tail as another way of attacking, he also uses it to choke his enemies and practically strangle them to death.

Clutch takes care of his giant bear robot, he knows some machinery but isn't really an expert, still the robot gets all the recent upgrades.

Clutch sometimes accidentally rhymes his name with words, Rough and Tumble tease him about it and he just pushes them away.

He enjoys going to fancy diners, concerts, and museum's in his spare time (yes I watch bumblekast QNA how ya know)

Everytime a holiday comes up, wether it's their birthday or Christmas or something, rough and tumble always argue and waste the day away. This has led to clutch having to separate them and calm them down before they break something, but the duo make him participate in whatever the holiday is so they won't fight for the rest of the day (example: getting clutch into random blind dates on Valentine's day, making him join the bros in the bouncy house on their birthday, snowball fight with them in the snow during Christmas!)

Clutch does smoke and drink, he on occasions gets high but that's rare

Clutch has many different kinds of coats that he wears, his favorite mostly being the grey one you first see him in, plus they make him look taller

Rough says Gif, Tumble says Jif, Clutch says it like an acronym: G.I.F

Clutch is a good balance with physical actions and smarts, but since he's older his fighting is a bit weaker than It used to be, but his marksmanship is still sharp!

He's still trying to understand how modern phones work, so he mostly has a flip phone

In his past he wasn't a wealthy kid, beraly scrapping by and taking as much from the street, but then one day he ran into a casino, he only had a few cents and couldn't really gamble much, so he decided to play one game of poker and then head home. It turned out he was very good at most of the games and manage to collect so much money, his life changed after that. Making deals, killing whoever double crosses him, and always getting away Scott free, His family was never poor again.

Most of Clutch's family members have either passed away or went on their own adventures and hasn't seen them since, now he focuses on passing his knowledge to the skunk brothers...well...try too.

That's all I got for this guy! Made him a complete dad figure but still very dangerous, man has taken out tons of heroes for crying out loud! I hope to see him more in the comics and that he gets more people into his fanbase :3

[megs-mus]

Cooking Up Something Nostalgic

The first preview of Zora Howard’s “Stew” was produced on Saturday night at Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park. I was a lucky member of the audience to give my critique. 

“Stew” is a contemporary drama in the kitchen with three generations of women. A great way to kick off Women’s History Month. And feed the audience with so much feeling and drama it is impossible to look away. While the story itself is unique it leaves a lot up to the audience. But regardless the message of reflecting on family bonds and traditions. Especially looking at the new definition of the “American Family” now, this play resonates with the importance of generating good bonds with family members and what responsibilities are expected with that. 

With an incredible cast of four women of color all ranging in various ages, the play feels intimate and homely. The acting from Mama, Michele Shay, the eldest to Lil’ Mama, Sydnie Brown, the youngest leaves the audience in awe, with a standing ovation by the end of this short 90-minute play. This cast stands strong together and makes each other shine. It is a hefty material and they all carry that weight equally. There are also a few light-hearted moments as well, weaving a wonderful blend and drama and comedy. Howard does a wonderful job grounded these characters in realism to make them feel very authentic. And the actresses also do a phenomenal job keeping the flow of the scenes. One of the memorable moments in the play was Shay’s bone-chilling scream in lasting moments. It was utterly haunting to hear. The overlapping dialogue, while very realistic, tended to get muddled during the play at times where it seemed that the actors were unsure what to say next. It would have been interesting to see the rehearsal process for that to figure out how they practiced those overlapping moments. 

The set design was phenomenal and felt like I walked into my grandmother’s kitchen with set props and smell. The theatre was a thrust stage, which added to the acting skill of the women, however, there were times that entrances and action were cut off by where I was sitting. I am sure that from the front of the stage sides closer to the exit had a better view, but you lose a bit of momentum from sitting on the very edge of the stage wall. Though this did not diminish the acting or story at all, just a few missed moments that are gives and takes of a thrust style. The set itself was not a complicated structure but the detail of the props and set dressing was thorough. It would have been intriguing to see the initial layout and inspiration of the set and the time setting for creating the set. It seemed that the play was taking place in the 2000s, maybe the present day, but regardless being in the location of Mama’s house dates the set because not everything would be “upgraded” to the 21st century. Hence the landline in the house and some of the clothing choices, though most everyone was in the same attire the whole show. But there is a lot of background research and work going into the set design and to see the process would be interesting, to say the least.

The story Howard tells is a bittersweet nostalgic one. It leaves the audience feeling that maybe they should reach out to their grandmother or mother. It was a wonderful evening seeing all of the pieces come together. From the actors to the set everything felt like a perfect picture frozen in time. A moment never to be wasted or forgotten, the bond between women and family, and the support of one another. “Stew” is a fantastical blend of these ingredients to make the perfect show.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

to add to the freddy, bonnie and chica soft tail upgrade headcanon, what did their friends think of their new soft tails? i imagine gregory liked how fluffy freddy's new tail is and roxy helped chica dye her new tail to make it colorful (in the past, foxy was the only one of the original 4 with a tail, he still has his fluffy tail in the present day)

Roxy would be so happy for them. She'd be saying things like "It's about time you guys got tails." and stuff, giving 'protips' like "don't catch it in a door dumbass" and "yeah Chica your tail gives away how you're feeling now. Suck it up buttercup welcome to my fucking world." She and Chica definitely spend a long while figuring out how to maintain Chica's tail feathers and Roxy finds the way they flutter when she's happy or flare when she's annoyed adorable.

Monty is basically reacting the same way. Just "yeah watch out for the door, Chi." but shows up with a comb to help Bonnie and Freddy untangle the fluff on theirs. He takes any excuse to touch those tails they're so fucking soft he thinks they're so damn cute. He's so happy they got one and is laughing with Roxy and Foxy over Chica adjusting to it giving her every feeling away.

Foxy loves them. He's also saying things like "about time too." and stuff. He's actually trying to coach Chica on how to control her tail feathers so she doesn't give away her emotions so much and how to untangle the fluff. He convinces Roxy to help with that eventually. He's much more helpful than Roxy and Monty about it. Definitely thinks they're all cuter with these tails though.

Sunny has bear hugged the three of them about a dozen times, he's so excited for them. He makes sure they celebrate the new upgrades in DJ's club and he's not taking no for an answer! He's trying to stop Foxy from teaching Chica how to control the tail feathers because he doesn't understand why anyone would even want to stop the happy lil fluttering. Is definitely bugging staff to update the plushies sooner rather than later.

Moon loves them. He thinks they're adorable too. Will they admit it? No. Absolutely not. Gets an excuse to touch them and takes it though. Is also bugging staff about the plushies needing updating because the kids deserve accuracy and they really wanna see the tails on the lil plushies too.

DJ Music Man is throwing them a party at Sunny's insistence and is thrilled to see everyone so happy about this new upgrade. He thinks it's cute and all but doesn't entirely get what the big deal is. He sees Chica's feathers flutter when Roxy says something to her and he's like "oh... I see why they're celebrating that's adorable." He's happy for them, and idly wonders what it'd be like to have a tail himself even if he'd never get one. He's curious!

The Minis think this is great and all but are like "why do they get an upgrade like that when we still have to live in the vents because management want us dead :(" They're happy for them though! They all seem happy about it so the minis are too! They deserve it! The Minis are also laughing over Chica's emotions being so much more obvious now. Like, they were obvious before but now they're glaringly so and she keeps getting lightheartedly frustrated over it. It's good entertainment!

Vanessa isn't paid enough to care. However! She silently thinks it's neat but also how come they can afford that and not afford to give her raise, hm? Doesn't seem fair.

[shitty17]

Rating every Gordon Freeman

Half life 1 gordon

Beloved and classic. Cannot beat the original! You gotta respect your roots. The man who started it all. He’s a tough quiet little redhead with a fun little pony tail. Fascinating design choices lead him to be a regular blank slate character who you can still pick out of the mass of similar ones by his iconic goatee and glasses. The early 90s art did a good job of showing you “this isn’t a giant beast of a killer man, this is your 40 something geometry teacher in a microwave with a gun” and that set the WHOLE precedent for Gordon’s character for me. The glasses, goatee, and defined cheek lines that seemed to be in every half life model at the time age him a touch more than 27, but if you stare at him long enough you can believe it. Plus, not a lot of detail to glean from a low poly model anyhow. His expression shows him as cool, level headed, and focused. He’s so fucking ORANGE holy shit. This is our very first Gordon! The fucking sexy SNATCHED little waist and chicken neck give him extra points for being a shitty little skinny legend. The metal diaper and looking like he’s about to give me detention because I spoke too loud in class docks tho.

9/10 Beloved classic Gordon who’s flaws can easily be waved away with “it was our first try”, and yet also make him a fun original stand out character.

Half life 2 Gordon

He is no longer my pain in the ass highschool teacher, he is now my bitchy gay college TA who rolls his eyes when the professor says some dumb shit and looks WAY too much like House MD if you get too close. Props for consistencey, this really is just a dolled up version of low poly Gordon. Still got his heavy brow and aged face creases so he looks more like a 30 something dad than a 27 y/o scientist, but that can be blamed on all the stress. Hes got bigger prettier eyes now. He’s still remaining cool and focused, but he’s getting upset. He’s getting distracted. He’s had enough already. And yet, he still finds it in himself to keep going. The new HEV is a VERY sexy little upgrade, maintaining core features such as keeping that waist cinched, and supporting his skinny chicken neck. Finally got RID of that diaper and replaced it with a stylish yet flirty dragon underbelly scale set. It do kinda give the vibe that his dick out tho, which is both hilarious and also pretty ballsy, pun not intended. The colors are not so orange now, which is good! Balanced it out with a lot of grey. Makes him easier to look at, but a little easier to glaze over. Everyone from my generation will know Gordon Freeman by these images, they’re iconic. A good medium between “a regular guy” and “rough tough white mchandsome fps protagonist”. Hairs a lil more of a pretty chestnut brown and still got that nice warm red tone to it. I can’t tell if these images are so iconic that it’s seen as the norm, or if I’ve seen this guys face so much that I’m used to it by now, but he does give off “just kinda of a mediocre guy design wise”. I like that about him. Gordon Freeman just being a regular dude is huge and important to his character. He’s been upgraded to be sleeker and cooler and that’s got him serious traction amongst fans but he falls a bit more to the “generic badass” bin with this. Still, a lot to love.

8/10: Brilliant, iconic, handsome, sleek, and cool to look at, but making him easy to sell action figures of detracts from his character. An upgrade visually but has yet to convince me that he really is as cool as he looks.

Half-life: Alyx

Sweet holy mother of Jesus Christ our lord.

Like. Where do I start. Okay I’ll start with the obvious. He’s cute now. He’s super fucking cute now. He no longer looks like Walter white. He looks like a young man. He looks like a barista you would get at Starbucks who’s voice has deepened from 5 years of T and he tells you to “have a nice day :)” in the sweetest of tones and you really do have a nice day because of it. He’s got big ole peepers now. His old man wrinkles have smoothed out. He’s got noticable birthmarks and freckles. His cranium is regular sized now instead of cartoonishly massive, making his hairline look less like it’s receding.

But also? The most important part? Even when he looks angry, even when he puts back on the cool focused serious look? Even when he tries to put on his classic badass look? It’s not convincing anyone any more. We know now. We know this is just a young man in a HEV suit. He’s not indestructible, he’s scared. Look at him. He clings to these weapons because they’re the only thing stopping everything else in the world from killing him. His brows are furrowed not because he’s pissed with blind rage, but because he has to focus and think and be careful or else he will get dropped. He’s hurt. He has taken damage to his suit. He is not indestructible unstoppable badass or the idol of freedom he’s been made out to be, he’s been sold as. This is a man. This is your friend. He needs your help as much as you need his. This in particular reflects the plight of society nowadays. In 2020, we have less and less faith in our governments and ruling classes, and the only faith we have left is feeling vulnerable and asking for help. This Gordon is relatable. This Gordon shows pain. This Gordon needs his family as much as they need him. This Gordon is being pushed too far, but he still says he can take it. This Gordon is way more badass.

They fucking nailed it. They made a perfect Gordon Freeman. I straight up could look at this dude for hours. He’s so cute I need to give him a bowl of soup and a kiss.

10/10. Unreal.

Bonus!

10000/10 if you squint Lamarrs eyes can look like Gordon’s eyebrows.

[aplushemporium]

🧸Thread Wishlist!🧸

S.C.O.U.T.

SCOUT having a grand o’ time with living with Honor but meets new faces in LA!

SCOUT’s cyberchase au where they get to explore the digital library of Cyberspace (the Cybrary) but is generally stuck there due to the mechanics of their AI and no portal directly picking their physical being up.

SCOUT exploring the world on their own

Honor was in her prime and Detective Cross was pushing retirement age during the 90s and it’s now 2020s now so uh……help the sad bot…?

SCOUT is not weighed down by the implications of that. Huzzah weird time wibbly wobbliness in fiction!

Teach SCOUT all sorts of things! They love learning!

Please be patient with SCOUT, he is trying to figure out his pronouns and stuff… (goes by he/they but…doesn’t know WHAT they are in other terms). But he will support your muses’ identities!!!

HE WILL FIND SOMETHING FOR YOU. MAYBE THE YOU YOURSELF…

Jokingly we could do a Seri/Alexa-esque SCOUT thing like…virtual assistant…he’s basically the 90s physical equivalent of that…but he not as smart as those AI…(but maybe more…developed personality wise…)

SCOUT exists on your device. Tamagotchi time?

[redacted due to Murder By Numbers spoilers] but he will protect his friends.

SCOUT finding some very personal belonging-SCOUT THAT IS NOT A CAR KEY-.

Let SCOUT meet more robots!! Actually just anyone in general, they like discovery! And friends!!

Broken SCOUT discovered by someone who is not Honor????

SCOUT getting repairs and/or upgrades! Though he would like lots of trust with the one who’s doing the repairs considering [redacted]...

SCOUT at a library. He loves books and movies!!

SCOUT’S first theater experience???

Ana

She just little…She will need help with stuff once in awhile or more. Probs something like like cooking, getting items from tall shelves, washing, stuff that require an adult, dealing with doctors (namely shots), stuff like that... Though she’s been living without a guardian/parental figure for a good while...

Bedtime troubles, could simply be a tough time getting to sleep, staying asleep, or well…being caught trying to clean the sheets past midnight or really early in the morning.

Your muse adopting her AUs, hand them over /j

They can just be found family on a casual basis or just good frembs too!

She’s playing (pretend) games by herself, how will one intervene, if they wish to, that is?

Snuggles and cuddles are very welcome once she gets to know someone quite well.

Just a lot of stuff relating to comfort…please. PLEASE…I’m a sucker for fluff and hurt/comfort! She doesn’t have a consistent guardian/parental figure around.

I’d like to indulge in her meeting some PreCures, though for the cases of those, she won’t know their identities due to tv. She’d just know them as famous magical heroes that people actually made merch of unless we plot something else out! I’m flexible!!

Ana displaying prowess despite being a lil sobbing child

Dance classes at the spirit dojo for Smash!! Or just any smash related shenanigans! (tho i wonder if folks do acknowledge there are kindergartners in the mansion…)

Something to do about her dealing with bullies…as in she’s a target of bullies. A mixture of meekness, ninja prowess, friend to animals, and just being a kindergartner contributed to getting her noticed…in negative fashions.

Your muse could also bully her instead.

She’s playing with animals!

Someday we’ll figure out how to incorporate Kat. …I hope. .x.

She’s playing with dangerous animals…AGAIN.

Ana learning to like someone, or rather accept their affection and love. Though we can skip past the ‘hesitant to your muses’ affection’ part thanks to preestablished talks!

Her just being a lil kid, with the weirdness and genuineness they got. They’re just vibing!

Maybe she takes your muse along for an imaginative (or actual) adventure!

Digit

Ah crud he summoned [your muse] into Cyberspace by accident. How will that go down? Will they go back willingly, or do they fight against that?

Teach him more about Earth! It’s certainly a lot different than Cyberspace!

Oh no he’s stuck on Earth…HELP.

Digit Tamagotchi. …idk he’s your virutual friemb now in your device

Cooking I guess���???

I wonder if he’s famous for his cooking outside of cyberspace…

Can we do a better sleepover plot than what canon did?

Digit but he’s just a regular o’ chubby birb au.

Younger Digit days. Though I can’t help but to feel like he was fairly isolated as a lil boid. 

And then there was his teen phase...where he did support Hacker before Hacker gone mad with revenge. (Probs won’t write this one, sorry)

Digit is stuck in birb noises only mode. Blame those Gumi videos

Baby Shark

Someone recognizing him due to that infamous internet video. I mean the song exists something like that in canon so…idk.

Jam session!

Of course I’d be VERY welcome to having muses get to know him besides the whole “known for holding toddlers’ attention through billions of views”

But I wouldn’t object against folks who’d hate him or fear him due to that fame

Maybe there just plots where he’s just a singing shark…actually that seems to be the default…just...kinda one that’s less...human-y behaving-y and maybe not as famous.

Baby Shark defends your muse, not through violence but with love! (does that in canon)

Maybe a moment of sadness for him…he’s a soft child at heart…

A literal digital entity but it turns out he has more depth to him than just being a singing meme sensation (cyberchase au?)

Oh no he ate your important documents.

Oh no he chewed on those objects…oh frick he broke it-

Baby Shark being supportive of your muse!! He supports himself and he thinks you should believe in you too!!

Being a kid, Baby Shark will be nosy. Sorry.

Will your muse bully the shark? Or will they stand up to him being bullied?

Pat the shark. He likes affection.

Keiko

Her annoying your muses.

Showing off or seeing the differences between the og sporty Miis (like her) and the newer “Smashy Miis”

She’s been trying to get the Smashy Miis to have some fun...which includes silly sporting events and karaoke nights and talent shows. Blame tomodachi life for the last two bits.

Keiko’s a camera fiend so the likeliness of her catching something embarrassing is VERY high. Course she doesn’t see them as blackmail material, she just thinks it’s just another moment but a more goofy one!

She can’t read the room sometimes. This will lead to trouble.

Keiko doing wii sports and wii party and wii music things. Just doing what makes her a Mii!

Let her have a pet. Though she may just pick up some Pokemon found on Wuhu Island.

//Whew, that’s most of the muses I’ve been fixated on! Again, big kudos to @cobraghost for inspiring this wishlist post idea :D Lemme know if any of these plots are good...or should not be talked about!! Have a lovely day!

[thenamesblurrito]

ladies and gentlemen this is ask dump no. 5

aw scrap here we go again!

answered asks include body modification as the opposite of empurata, Mutacons making bandages out of kibble, kibble used as furniture, numbers of Sweeps, a DILF alligator, RID15 Tidal Wave, a BIG infodump on dealing with the circus that is Iacon’s media, Cybertronian muppets, a WIP of Elita Infin1te (or rather her sword), and the many secret sufferings of Alpha Trion.

yea, sorta! body modification in SNAP is more limited than in canon. you can’t simply switch out your body like the total frame reformats of IDW or TFP, and losing a limb can be permanent if not healed in time. for the most part, the frame you have is the frame you’re stuck with, and those frames fall within specific parameters.

HOWEVER-

some modification and upgrades do exist! the most prominent here would be a prosthetic helm like Lugnut. if the processor is left intact and attached after a helm injury, a new helm can be sculpted, with extra optics to make up for the lower quality of artificial optics, and as visibly different as possible to differentiate from empurata. other replacements and prosthetics are common after debilitating injury where the original body part cannot be saved. whether or not the prosthetic is as good as the original depends on the individual and the specific injury. there are also functional medical upgrades, like thicker armor attachments, alt mode additions, etc. almost every upgrade is for the express purpose of improving one’s frame for their function, and there’s definitely a limit to them. you can’t give yourself new limbs if you only had four to begin with. a grounder cannot become a flier. the spark can only power so much mass in the frame, and some people have adverse reactions that mean the upgrades don’t take and must be removed.

this sort of relates to the next point here-

yes, with some caveats.

Cybertronians are a segmentary species, so they can detach some body parts for a bit without negative consequences, as long as that body part is reattached for revitalization and repair. many folks can do this without any medical assistance for the less integral kibble. for instance, Kup uses his tow arm as a walking stick, but he has to reattach it whenever he wants to go into alt mode, and if he doesn’t transform he still needs to reattach it for a couple hours every day at minimum. so if a Mutacon were to create a makeshift splint out of kibble and detach it, it would likely be fine, as long as they got that kibble back. otherwise, they’ve lost a whole chunk of their body that they can’t just regenerate.

for shifting armor to cover a wound without detaching it, that depends on the nature of the wound. if it’s ragged, large, or in areas with a lot of joints or movement, it might be difficult to shuffle around plating to cover it. a more superficial injury in a less delicate area would be easier

sort of! it’ll depend on the individual’s kibble, of course! double checking SNAP Bulkhead, i don’t think he could, because his kibble isn’t large enough. but Scylla could probably use her alt mode arms as a chair, Wreck-Gar has a built in backpack and belly bag, and of course the Necrobot uses his wingcloak as hands. different kibble with different bonus uses

the ideal number of Sweeps is seven, since less than that means they don’t have enough collective processing power to function optimally. more than seven, however, puts a strain on that collective processing power to smoothly operate so many at once. so there’s usually packs of as close to seven as they can get.

as to how many can just exist at the same time, it’s limited only by how many Scourge is willing to forge. he first invents them in s1e06 A Use for Army-building! An Upgrade to Sweeps. by the next episode they figure out that having dozens of them running around is... well it’s about as chaotic as having dozens of flying puppies with hands and weapons would be. in large numbers they’re very difficult to control. good thing Galvatron is excellent at commanding his new army!

(the post this is referring to) @oldboyjensenhinglemeier​ thanks Dilf Waitress, i can always rely on you

(the post this is referring to) i think that’s fantastic, i’d love to see a Cybertronian whale. imagine the size of the holding cell you’d have to have for him!

oooohohoho what a sticky subject. here’s a quick rundown on faction ideology to give you some context for how they operate and thus deal with the media. the heroes aren’t referred to as heroes, but rather as vigilantes at best and violent gangs in a turf war at worst. Froid has remotely diagnosed them with pathological dissent. at the same time, some folks have jumped on the market to make hero merch, and it becomes a very lucrative business for some. public opinion is constantly torn between fear and anger at how they do whatever they’d like and gratitude and admiration for how they throw themselves in harms way to prevent disaster and save people. it’s really a giant mess all the time that changes by the day.

there is of course the whole snafu surrounding the media’s portrayal of the Elite Guard as a backup team for the Autobots, and Elita 1 as Optimus’ sidekick. and Elita 1 is Not Happy about that. Elita 2 is startlingly good at winding the reporters around her little finger and always seems to know just what to say, whereas Elita 3 just grumbles at the cameras, even sometimes demanding they respect boundaries or be locked in the nearest building with the use of her powers. Elita 4 barely notices them unless she’s in the mood to prank someone, and Elita 5 just avoids them, as they tend to dramatize her size and thus her danger. given their excellent teamwork and how they’re (mostly) in favor of reform instead of anarchy, the Elite Guard would actually have a good shot at getting along with the news, except they bow to precisely no one, including the people wanting to interview them, so instead they come across as a standoffish and self-serving clique with dangerous habits

the Decepticons are in the bad-boy limelight and they love it. well, at least Galvatron, Hellscream, and Thunderblast do. Galvatron takes advantage of every opportunity to pontificate on the evils of society and the right to rise up for freedom. broadcasters have learned to cut the cameras as soon as he starts speaking so his ideas don’t get the chance to spread too far. Hellscream cares less about principles and more about scaring the living daylights out of every reporter he sees, often leaving them with cracked equipment and ringing audials from the sheer destructive power of his voice. Thunderblast just wants to preen in all the attention and boy does she get it. Cyclonus actively avoids most gawkers, Scourge talks too long and complicated to make good news, Drift either ignores them or sends them away with some lofty spiritual advice, and Triptych is dangerously unpredictable so most reporters have learned to stay away from him.

the Predacons came into existence in a negative light, and they were grimly prepared for it. after all, Sixshot used to be a Decepticon, and their falling-out and defection caused quite a stir. when Abominus first appeared, the fearful reaction of the public to such an ‘abomination’ is actually how he chose his name in the first place. Airachnid loves tormenting reporters with nuclear-grade sarcasm and subtle threats, but if anyone makes her truly mad she’ll string them up in her web cabling and leave them hanging. she also flaunts that cabling by using her darts to knit nets, shawls, and other decorations, despite the fact that getting cabling tangled up in seams and joints can lead to something called entrapment protocols, mentioned in the seventh ask here. Enforcers use capture equipment designed to trigger entrapment protocols, so her mimicry of that as nothing more than a casual accessory is a big ‘frag you’.

Soundwave.... is a category of his own. he only comes into being in the fourth season, but the media soon learns to quake at the thought of encountering Soundwave, and his minicons are little better. there’s at least one instance where he Rosanna-rolls the entirety of Iacon.

the Autobots keep wavering between ‘the only true good ones of all these vigilantes’ and ‘the worst possible people in the world, hide the children, lock the doors’ in the eyes of the media. Optimus does his best to treat everyone fairly, and the Mistress usually has something encouraging to share. much like Galvatron but for completely opposite reasons, broadcasters have learned to cut cameras when Ultra Magnus starts talking, because his encyclopedic knowledge of law means he regularly lists every instance of malpractice, abuse, illegality, and disrespect that he sees in the average reporter, Enforcer, or politician, which is not the kind of upbraiding that would serve the propaganda machine. however, it does get him the attention of Tyrest, who leverages legality and public opinion to try and draw Ultra Magnus into an agreement during s3e03- A Councilmember’s Boon! An Upgrade to Legality. Rodimus is a chaos beast who has been known to snatch cameras for selfies. it’s kind of a tossup as to whether Cheetor will be going slow enough to show up in the footage or not.

now, i can’t talk about the media without mentioning the feral force of nature that is Rewind. the best of the best, he’s the only one willing to brave the battlefields for an up-close look, constantly endangering himself in order to get the freshest scoop. he might not always hold opinions in line with the mandated propaganda about these vigilantes, but the media lets him get away with it, since he’s the most successful at getting them more news. this has caused him to be targeted at least once, unfortunately.

love this question. love it. you know those lil remote controlled robot dogs, or things to that effect? i’m imagining that’s what Cybertronian muppets are like, since they can create robotics and animatronics with a lot more finesse and ease than we can. in fact, making fabric is probably harder for them than robotics, since they don’t have the same materials as we do to work with. but anyway, these muppets wouldn’t be limited by what a hand can do to puppet them around, being instead remote controlled from off stage, so i don’t know if they’d have that kind of visual gag. maybe instead there would be fourth-wall breaking where one muppet snatches the remote of another?

the painful thing about this answer is that i have a design i’m happy with EXCEPT FOR THE HELM i have sketched and resketched a dozen different ideas ugh. the body looks fine, all five of them combined in a way that makes sense to me, but i just CANNOT get the helm right i’m so angry. anyway here’s the Cyber Caliber, all of their swords combined into one massive weapon

the more accurate question is, what hasn’t happened to him. he’s been through a lot, the poor mech. but i’ll list some things for you:

that one time he had a sibling be erased from reality

that one time he had to murder another sibling because they decided evil was fun

that one time a fragging beachball stole his work

the fact he doesn’t know if his twin is alive or not

that one time he was a junker running for his life

that one time he was too late to save the Terminus Blade, and it was stolen

that one time his pride and joy, the Athenaum Sanctorum, was destroyed, and everything archived there was lost

that other time the same fragging beachball stole his work

that other time he was a junker hiding for his life

the fact that the theft of his diary started a whole new branch of religion and he has to read his own words as if they’re sacred

the fact that the title of Trion was in fact derived from his diary, and the sheer painful irony of being given the title of Trion.

that one time he had to rip off some fingers to fit in

that one time Trypticon showed up, awhile before the JAAT was founded, and he had to take it on alone

that other time Trypticon showed up when the JAAT opened and he had to hand out some precious relics to children to protect the school

aaaaand his current reason for drinking! the fact that of all twenty-something heroes running around, he only knows who THREE of them are because he only gave out THREE RELICS! and relics just keep disappearing from the collection he’s guarding

someone help him he is not having a good time. and it’s only going to get worse...

[snowquills]

ok this wont be coherent like at all but . end roll is consuming my brain so here's your little au pspsps 3rd life enjoyers you wanna think about end roll so bad

also end roll spoilers if you care lol

OK SO THE BASIC PREMISE

-the 3rd lifers are the townsfolk, grian is russell

-idk if they're all aged down in this, they might be to fit the og game its up to you

-ALSO im not thinking of this as like . character = end roll's exact character role, its more . who do i want to see <3

-im interesting i swear i just gotta get this outta the way

-anyway <3

-mumbo is chris because i wanted to include him and also grian mentioned him

-maybe, if his guilt is high enough, it triggers an event with him??? like going to a desert town with scar in your party??

-"i wonder if mumbo would be proud", says the serial killer, to someone he killed

-anyway joel is tabasa, he's less of a big brother figure and more like a general shopkeeper?? you get lil tidbits of information from him . also you can pet the dogs <3

-scar is gardenia, except he cant cook for shit so his HP up move is bringing out jellie to play with

-in-game probably pushes for them to be a duo - joins in early game, they plan to make a monopoly . it doesn't work

-scott n jimmy are dogma and cody, nd the hobbit hole is where the church is

-instead of the religious motif they're more like . chill

-offer a place of peace (and scott sells potions), generally neutral-grian leaning

-yumi = cleo because i think she deserves a gun

-cleo sells weapon upgrades, but if guilt is too low after a certain time she gets hostile nd threatening

-mireille and samson are martyn and ren - martyn thinks of them in terms of a knight and his king, but ren gets worried when he's hurt :( kinda like pearl and rose from SU, that kinda dynamic

-etho is kantera because i think it would be nice

-the other hermits are people he knew in the past?

-grrr i wanna put in impulse and bdubs but i dont know WHERE please someone talk to me about this i NEED to get it out of The Brain

-anyway . storyline ish

-after the "3rd life murders" as they're called in media, the watchers (a branch of the govt dedicated to reform) bring up a new drug

-they test it on grian since he's on death row anyway lol might as well yk

-the green lives are how they are at the start of the happy dream, just straight vibing

-but then grian and scar hang out and remember his death (something to do with heights, like his yellow + gardenia)

-and scar is on his "yellow life"

-so every time someone remembers what happens, they're . not hostile, but a lil wary, even subconsciously

-and after enough guilt events, when the world begins to break down, that's when they hit their red lives

-and its like . yk when everyone gets all glitched? and they talk about how russell killed them? yeah its that

-thats the red life

-but wait it can get more fucked up

-at the end of the game, instead of the indecent/toxic one, its like

-a massive warped amalgamation of the previous battles

-so whatever their final bosses were, it's that

-and depending on how grian handles it, and his relationship 2 them

-the boss gets harder or easier

-anyway . i think it ends like 3rd life and the true ends lol

-maybe grian decides to stay in the dream? is he overwhelmed by guilt?

-who knows lol

[thewakingcloak]

March 2021

I'm back!!!

Oh man it feels good to be doing gamedev again (and actually enjoy it).

So first things first, we had a baby!

This lil guy is super cute and has made an awesome addition to our family. As you can probably guess, this is why I spent a few months not doing gamedev. Even when I had time, I didn't have the emotional or mental bandwidth to work on ProtoDungeon. And that's to be expected!

But there was another issue: a weird bridge bug. Essentially, you could walk under a bridge... and if you tried to walk on it, you’d fall through it. I could not figure this thing out. Collision was working, options were all set up correctly, etc. Every time I thought about working on my game, I knew this bug was facing me down and I’d have to address it. And I couldn’t get over the mental block.

So I took another tack (I make it sound like this was a choice, but it was more a compulsion): something I’d been thinking about for a while was learning 3D. I wanted to see if I could get some kind of fusion between 3D and pixel art. I won’t go into all that here, but I had a good time, and it really primed the creative pump. If you’re interested here’s my twitter thread, and here’s a thing I made:

At last, around mid-May I had worked up enough courage to finally address the bridge bug back in ProtoDungeon. My 3D journey not only got me some cool skills, but warmed me up. And also the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was due to one particular piece of code: the edge slip.

This was here so you didn’t run into scenarios like this, where you're "floating" on the edge:

Basically it would slip you off the edge if you were that far over it. Makes sense, right?

Well, unfortunately, there are a LOT of weird edge cases (haha) where this is straight up broken. Like the bridge. The bridge was so narrow that it just always assumed you were on the edge, so it’d just push you off (rude). And there were plenty of places where you could fall off and just get horribly stuck.

And, sure enough, deleting that code made all of these things miraculously start working.

That felt really good. And even better, I felt like I could keep going! I decided to listen to something my instincts had been saying about the lv3 boots: the dash roll wasn’t working.

The lv3 boots, while equipped, would transform the roll into a dash, making it faster and giving you i-frames (invincibility).

This was fun, but it had problems. It wasn't intuitive or consistent with how the other items worked. I could've figured out a way to teach the player how to use it, probably, but it also wasn't particularly useful. It meant, first, I’d have to contrive some kind of environment mechanics to make the dash useful, and I don’t want to get too contrived. And second, it meant the standard roll was not actually very useful at all.

I brought this up on the Studio Spacefarer Discord server and after some discussion, I decided to go back to one of my very early ideas from years ago: adding a Pegasus Boots-style dash which the player uses by holding down the item button, “charging it up” via a jump and sprinting on hitting the ground. It sounds complicated, but it feels really good. No invincibility, just crazy speed. Then the roll could get the i-frames, making that more useful too. So behold, the new dash:

And, uh, yeah, this is SUPER fun. And while it’ll be useful in puzzles and stuff, it’s also a good way to just get around (as long as you don’t crash into anything... or maybe even if you do). The boots are all about travel and movement, and while a dash-roll could be included in that, I think a dash-sprint gives a lot more bang for your upgrade buck.

I’m happy to say I got a lot of other stuff done in March, even though I only worked about two weeks total. Here’s the full list...

Changelog:

Fixed some incorrect z-object cliff placement .

Added bridges that work with the new system (can go over/under them).

Fixed a bug that caused bridges to be submerged at the wrong level.

Things fixed by removing the edge-slip code.

Fixed coming out of the water onto a ramp.

Fixed umping up to a ramp.

Adjusted the ground logic to prevent getting stuck when falling down a ledge onto a ramp.

Completed moving the beach “down” on the z-axis to accommodate tide rising and falling.

Removed the old roll dash for the lv3 boots and replaced it with a sprint dash which can be “charged up” with a jump.

Added i-frames to the roll.

Force the switch to the “item get” state to prevent issues with sprinting and rolling into items.

Started testing various other previous bugs to see if they were resolved with the latest changes (a few are, so far!).

That’s all for this month. Thanks for reading!

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed

Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good

Topics:

Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff

Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?

Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)

Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.

Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications

Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great

Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that

Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now

Puzzles????

How to organize my room

Need a shower

Need to organize bathroom

So Much Schoolwork

Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..

Make?

Food??? Ew.

Dental hygiene ://

Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.

Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.

Laundry.

Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.

Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.

Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.

Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?

Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.

Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.

Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.

Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good

Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats

Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.

Really sad :(

Or am I?

Weird noise coming from dining room?

Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.

Need to practice for ASL

So much.....to do...

Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....

My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.

It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.

Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.

My dad is being. Abrasive.

Mom and grandma are very angry lately

Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?

Can't find my eye mask :(

Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.

Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...

Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!

Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?

How to earn money without..chaos

Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh

Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo

Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It

Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.

How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.

How to drink water

Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.

Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc

Miss my lil sisters

Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.

Want to plant food plants

Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.

Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.

Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.

My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange

Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again

Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea

Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me

How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.

I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?

Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing

Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys

Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.

I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.

Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.

Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.

Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times

At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget

My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again

Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.

Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.

Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.

Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that

See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?

Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.

Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.

Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!

[mulletcal]

if walls could talk -- ceo!calum chapter 1

description: calum is the son of a very powerful ceo / owner of a PR firm - they had an agreement that calum could live his life as a young adult until his father retired.  calum didn’t expect his father to retire so soon, nor did he expect to meet a woman who would spill out all of her deepest, darkest secrets all because of some turbulence.

warnings: light mention of sexual situations, other than that nothing much.

word count: 3.4k

a/n: this is something i’ve wanted to post for so long.  i attempted a majority of a rewrite at one point, but here we are! please let me know what you guys think? also huge thank you to @softbabiestan​ and @calum-uncrowned​ for reading / suggesting edits along the way 

------

“This just doesn’t feel like the right time to do this.”

Those words had been said to Charlotte more times than she could count, in both her personal and professional life.  This time, it was the former, but that didn’t make the blow to her confidence any smaller.

Charlotte had been sent to New York in hopes that maybe she could convince this firm to sell to them.  The PR firm that she worked for was the top in the country, but they didn’t get there based solely on the fact that they were an amazing company.  Anytime another PR firm seemed like they were about to overtake them for the top spot, Everyday Joy Communications would make them an offer they’d be stupid to turn down.

“Please, Mr. James, if you’d just look at the graph that we’ve done up for you--” Charlotte started, but she was cut off by the man standing up abruptly. 

“Your company has been trying for over a year now to buy us out, and each time we’ve said no. It’s very clear to us that your company’s morals don’t align with ours, I’m sorry you wasted your time in coming here today.” Straightening out his jacket, Mr. James moved around the table to shake Charlotte’s hand once more, clearly eager for her to leave.

She had gathered her things in silence, but as she turned to leave she heard Mr. James clear his throat. “Miss--” he began, inhaling deeply before continuing, “You may want to tie your jacket around yourself. It appears your skirt ripped.”

Nodding her head, she left the room without so much as a ‘thank you’, the embarrassment crashing over her in a wave.

As if this day couldn’t get any worse.

***

The CEO of Everyday Joy Communications has announced his retirement.

One would think that in the occurrence of a life-changing event, you’d at least get a call beforehand.  But that wasn’t the case for Calum, the article reading as a slap in the face to him.  Calum was supposed to be allowed some warning, something that would allow him to get his life in order before he was set to take over, but no.  Here he was, receiving numerous texts, calls, tweets, and e-mails from those he knew asking what the next steps were, and if Calum was finally going to step forward and ‘actually contribute’.

When his father’s company first started gaining success, Calum had chosen to live in New York, rather than stay in Los Angeles.  He enjoyed the bustle of a busy city, but LA was full of people who wanted what was in your pockets instead of what was in your head.  Opinions didn’t matter unless they were linked to some financial gain, and it never sat right with him.

He was pulled from his thoughts by his phone ringing, his father’s contact info flashing across the screen. “What do you want, Dad?” The words were dripping with false affection, his father’s sigh evident on the other line.

“I wanted to tell you, Calum, I--”

“You seemed to be able to figure out how to pick up the phone now, how come you couldn’t before?”

The silence on the other end was deafening before his father offered another sigh, “You still have a week to catch up on things before you fully take over.  And you know that I’m just a phone call away.”

“Yeah, and what time would be best to call you? In between tee-times, or before you go in for your deep tissue massage.” Calum had come to the conclusion to hang up before his father had a chance to answer.  Buying a plane ticket and facing this head on would be better than working himself up in his loft.

As if sensing his distress, his dog Duke came padding into the kitchen, looking at him quizzically.  It wasn’t often Calum had an angry tone to his voice, and it confused the small dog.  Scooping him up into his arms, he sighed as he pressed a kiss to the side of the dog’s head. “How do you feel about moving to LA buddy?”

---

“Hello?”

“Ash, guess whose ugly mug you’re gonna see a lot more?” The overly excited tone in Calum’s voice was very much not him, and it gave away everything Ashton needed to know in that moment.

“Mm… Gonna take a shot in the dark here and say you?” Ashton spoke with a soft chuckle. Calum could hear the click of his phone, and he was assuming he was either turning his volume up or down - if he had to guess it would be down, because he knew that Calum was frustrated.

“M’sorry there’s no prizes involved, but you’re absolutely right!  I don’t know if you’ve read, but my father is headed into an early retirement, which means-”

Before he could continue, Ashton finished his sentence for him, “- You gotta break out the big boy pants, I know.  Is he expecting you to take over right away?”

Calum let out a sharp exhale from his nose, fingers dragging softly through Duke’s fur as he sat cross-legged on his couch, “I have a week to settle in before I take over fully.  I don’t understand how he thinks a week is enough time to shadow him in the office before I just…  Take over.”

“You did work there in the summers when we were in high school though, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but I don’t feel as though it’s quite the same.  Plus, that was eight years ago now. The things have changed at the office - expanded departments, new protocols.” Calum sighed, leaning his head to rest against his couch.  “It’s just a lot.”

“I know, but hopefully your staff will cut you some slack, plus you have the best coffee in the world less than a block away.” Ashton was right, that was a very small benefit - he was sure whenever was something was overwhelming he could sneak away to his friends cafe for a coffee.

The rest of the conversation was uneventful, Ashton trying to take his mind off of his impending flight later that evening.  The conversation went on for longer than Calum had expected though, because his alarm went off to remind him to drop Duke off at the Doggy Daycare he would be staying at as he moved his life away.

“Shit dude, I gotta head out to go take Duke to his lil’ doggy hotel,” Calum joked, ignoring the tugging at his heart strings at the fact that he would have to leave his baby behind for now.

“Okay mate, I’ll see you soon, yeah? Bring Duke by as soon as he gets in from his week away from his dad.” Ashton teased, them finishing saying their goodbyes before hanging up the phone.

***

‘Now boarding flight 32C to Los Angeles, California…’

“Finally,” Charlotte murmured to herself, gathering her carry on and making her way towards her gate.

There had been a three hour delay, and at that point Charlotte was ready to be home, curled up in bed watching shitty rom-coms.

As she stepped onto the flight, the stewardess looked her up and down with a sympathetic smile. “Long day?” She asked, placing her hand on Charlottes’ forearm.  Any other time, the gesture would annoy Charlotte, but she wasn’t one to take out her bad day on others.

“That obvious, huh?” Charlotte deadpanned, shoulders sagging ever so slightly.

“How about an upgrade to first class? No one checked in for that seat, and it’ll be our secret.” 

If angels existed, this woman - Angie - would be one of them.  With a small smile, and a squeeze of the hand on her forearm, Charlotte headed to the seat she had motioned to.

When she got to the seat, she saw a man on the outside of the aisle with his hat pulled low over his eyes. His strong jaw seemed tense, only relaxing as soon as Charlotte let out a soft ‘excuse me’.

Then, strong jaw man was talking, and Charlotte thought it had been to her.  “Do you wanna get drinks, then?” The man had asked.

“Oh, yeah I’ll--”

That was the first time she saw the man’s eyes, deep brown and looking up at her in confusion before motioning to his Bluetooth ear piece.  

What idiot still used those? 

Charlotte’s head ducked in embarrassment until he eventually hung up.  “I’m sorry about that, I thought you were talking to me…” Her words were meek, almost inaudible as she angled her body towards him.

“S’fine, you didn’t see the device.” The more he had spoken, the more Charlotte wanted to hear.  His voice was enticing, the type you knew could command a room if the occasion called for it. She kept thinking of ways to potentially get the man to speak to her again, but she was at a total loss for words.

All was well when the plane actually took off, and Charlotte was content to enjoy the rest of the flight in moderate silence until a violent shake of the plane jolted her eyes open.

 “Oh my God, what was that?” She asked, turning to look at the man beside her whose brows were furrowed in confusion.

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. We’re experiencing some slight turbulence. If you could please remain seated with your seatbelts on until the light turns off. Thank you.’

“See, it’s just some turbulence --” he started to say, his calm voice being cut off by her exhaling sharply next to him. “Do you really think he’d tell us if we were about to die, dude?” Charlotte snapped, trying to focus on anything but the fact that they were about to die. 

“I think… I think he’s legally obligated to, no?” The man’s thick brows furrowed further, the tiniest quirk of a smile playing at his full lips.

Charlotte narrowed her eyes at the man, this logical, beautiful man. Another particularly violent rock of the plane had her gripping on to the mans’ arm.

“I can’t die. I’m too young -- I haven’t accomplished anything with my life,” Charlotte breathed, squeezing her eyes shut.  “I mean, I haven’t had kids, I’ve never even been in love. My boyfriend is a joke to human kind. I don’t even know if I have a G-spot…” She definitely regretted the words as they slipped out, her hand tensing even more.

“Excuse me?” There was an almost comical tone to the man’s voice as he cracked a small smile.  As if he couldn’t get more perfect, his teeth had to be straight and white too?

“That’s not important--”

“It seems like something you feel is extremely important to you.” Who was this smug stranger beside her? And why did he find such joy in her discomfort? “My boyfriend -- He… Doesn’t know how to use his mouth. The way he uses his tongue, I told him I liked it. I told him that I’ve never experienced anything like it. Which is true, but it’s a dreadful experience…”

The conversation continued like that, and somehow Charlotte found comfort in telling this complete stranger her secrets. Especially about the meeting she completely messed up earlier in the day, how her skirt had ripped, and how much she hated her co-worker. It wasn’t until she overhead the stewardess speak did she realize that not only was the turbulence finished, but so was the flight itself.

“Why didn’t you tell me we had landed?” Charlotte asked, almost breathless from her constant monologue.

“It seemed like you had a few things you wanted to get off your chest. And let me tell you, I don’t think I know any of my friends as well as I know you, especially not even knowing your name, doll.”

Charlotte was about to tell him, but the man, this stupidly handsome mysterious man was up and out of his seat before she could even open her mouth. 

“Darling, we’ll keep this between us. I don’t need to know your name. Thanks for sharing all your dirty little secrets,” He had said with a wink before leaving the plane completely.

What the fuck did she just do? ---

Monday morning wasn’t any easier for her, memories of the plane ride haunting her thoughts the entirety of Sunday.  Charlotte wasn’t sure she’d be able to maintain her focus when meeting the new CEO if she could barely be attentive enough to brush her damn hair.

It was amusing to overhear the rumours that made their way around about the new CEO, and if Charlotte was having a better morning she likely would have joined in the fun. Sipping her coffee quietly, she glanced over at her friend as she began to speak.

“I heard once that he has a rolodex of prostitutes that he keeps for when he feels in the mood, doesn’t do relationships.” Charlotte rolled her eyes at Rachel’s words as they watched out of the large windows for the man’s arrival. “Holy shit he’s even hotter than people said he was…” 

It wasn’t long before the rest of them ran to their desks, appearing as though they were doing work as the new CEO headed up the elevator. When the elevator doors opened, they seemed to take the air from Charlotte’s lungs with them.

It was him. She saw his profile first, and she could have recognized that jawline from a mile away, or the seemingly ever present pout on his full lips. It was the handsome stranger from the plane, the one who now definitely knew about all the shenanigans that went on around the office when they all thought the person above them wasn’t paying attention. The stranger she spilled all her deepest, darkest secrets to. Their Director of Operations, Beth, came out of her office, a bright smile on her lips as she embraced the man.

 “Calum, the last time I saw you, you were just graduating high school --” she recalled fondly, the smile on the man -- Calum’s face was radiant as she pinched his cheeks. “Alright everyone, listen up. This is our new CEO, Calum Hood. As you know, he is David’s son, and he’ll be working from our offices to ensure everything is running smoothly.  You haven’t let me down before, don’t start now.” The words were said with a sweet smile, but everyone knew you didn’t mess with Beth.

“Thank you, Beth --”

A whisper from behind her did not fall on deaf ears, “His fucking accent though…”

“Keep it in your pants, Rachel,” Charlotte whispered back, her attention going back to the warm brown eyes that had now landed on her.

“-- I may be my father’s son, but I most definitely am not him. This company, at the very least, should have some fun. So if any of you have a suggestion or two on how we can improve, I’ll be in my office all day getting myself sorted.” Calum’s eyes scanned the room, freezing when they landed on Charlotte. Giving her a simple nod, the man’s warm smile was replaced with a tense one before he turned to walk into his office.

***

After seeing her, there was no way for Calum to focus. He’d hate to admit it, but ever since that plane ride he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that girl. The confessions she made to him left him wondering so many things -- at least if she stopped in he could thank her for exposing so many secrets of the office.

Throughout the day, various people stopped in his office to introduce themselves; each woman coming across more desperate than the last.  He supposed he shouldn’t think that when these women were working for him. He’d be stupid, though, to pretend like he didn’t notice each lingering glance they’d give, or each lean forward to try and show off their clevage. 

A soft knock on his door towards the end of the day was the one who held his attention the most -- because it was her. He still didn’t know her name, but seeing her today, he felt a strange pang in his chest that made him want to know it. Calum knew he should have let her tell him on the plane, then maybe in another world if they hadn’t serendipitously worked together he’d be able to find her.

“Mr.Hood?” Her voice was softer than he remembered, but maybe Calum was just thinking of it in the form of terror she had expressed to him the other night.

“Call me Calum, please. And your name?” Calum asked with a quirked eyebrow, a small smile forming on his lips. 

“Charlotte,” she stated with a small smile as well, stepping into his office further. Her outfit was more indicative of her personality than her travel clothes had been -- her blonde hair pulled into space buns with wisps of hair falling into her face, the front of her pastel pink button up tucked into a pair of bright blue floral pants. Pastel pink and blue were not exactly a colour combination Calum would have gone with personally, but it suited her.

Calum realized then that he was checking her out, and by no means in a subtle way. “Uh, sit, please,” he gestured to the chair across his desk, wanting to make her more comfortable.

“I wasn’t sure I even really needed to come in here today, given the circumstances of the other night. But Rachel told me it’d be weird if I didn’t come to introduce myself to our new boss…” Charlotte had begun to ramble, and Calum couldn’t bite back the smile that pulled at his lips, the genuine kind that always made his eyes crinkle at the corners. Something about the smile made Charlotte’s breath catch in her throat, her body almost visibly stilling.

“It probably would have been weird to your co-workers, but if you’re uncomfortable here working directly with me, I can arrange it so you’re transferred to a different office,” Calum’s response was more an HR response than anything, wanting to make her more comfortable. But also maybe, just maybe, Calum was itching to reach up and brush the blonde hairs from her face. Transfer so that she wasn’t directly under him in the business sense, but could be directly beneath him in other ways.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the woman speaking up once more. 

“No, no. It’s not that--” Charlotte started, pulling her lip between her teeth. “I just don’t want it to be weird for you. I did after all tell you a lot about myself.”

“Speaking of a lot -- How’s your boyfriend?” The question was out before Calum could stop himself, the topic itself completely catching Charlotte off guard as she stilled for the second time in a span of 5 minutes.

“He’s uh, good. He works here also, in the IT department. I don’t know if I told you that part.” A blush spread across the woman’s cheeks, and Calum found the whole interaction endearing.

“You didn’t happen to mention that, no.”

“Yeah, you’ll probably meet him as you work your way through meeting the rest of your staff--” Her sentence was topped off with a shaky laugh, brushing a stray strand of hair back behind her ear.

Calum wondered very briefly if she was nervous around him because of the things he knew about her, or because she happened to be as attracted to him as he was to her. It was inflating his own ego, of course, to think the latter. Who said having high hopes were a bad thing though? “Anyways,” Charlotte said, standing up abruptly, “I should go. Getting towards the end of the day, and I promised my roommate we could binge season 2 of Sex Education.”

The irony of that statement was not lost on Calum, what with her exposing rather intimate details about her sex life to him only a couple days prior… And now she was going to go and watch a show called Sex Education? 

“Hold on,” The words sounded choked as they came from Calum’s mouth, likely conveying how desperate he felt to keep the conversation going. “What’s uh -- What’s his name? Your boyfriend, that is. I’d like to be aware of the relationships going on in the office.”

Charlotte grinned then, a mischievous glint in her eyes that had Calum sweating, “While we don’t have time to unpack all the relationship drama going on here, my boyfriend’s name is Gavin… Goodnight Calum, I’ll see you in the morning.”

With that, she was gone, as if their whole interaction had been a dream. and Calum was so fucked.

tag list:  @cals-wildflower​ @talkfastromance4​ @softbabiestan​ @roseycal​ @calum-uncrowned​ @boyfriend-cal​ @wildflowerirwin​ @irwindoll​ @gosh-im-short​ @atlcalm​ @thesubtweeter​ @heavenisapeach​ @ridingcthood​ @loveroflrh​ @wokeupinjapanisabop​ @talkfastdrummer​

[wutroows]

admiring (luke skywalker x reader)

pairing: luke x reader (romantic, super fluffy)!!  request: (hey pls message me if you got this, tumblr eats my asks way too often) HEY HEY HEY, how bout a lil luke fic where he catches the reader admiring his x-wing shortly post-ANH on Hoth, and he teases the reader that they might like his ship more than him? details/specifics up to you :> requested by: @g1sunstreaker a/n: i’m finally getting around to all of my requests! this one has been sitting in my inbox for a little while and now i’m finally writing it, i’m excited. luke is one of my favorite characters, he’s really adorable so thank you for sending this in and giving me an excuse to write for him- 

luke skywalker’s crush on you was completely, and totally obvious to leia and han. the two of them also had feelings for each other (both of them finally acting on it on the falcon prior to the destruction of the death star). leia loved teasing him about it every now and then, knowing full well you thought of him the same as he did you. han didn’t know that, since leia promised you that she’d keep your secret from the two of them. if han knew, so would luke. those two were practically best friends now. 

luke was practically a celebrity now with the rebels, and he was suddenly a well known, inspiring face to the galaxy. but with that fame came the target on his back from the empire, which he decided to ignore. he was here for a good time, not a long time. 

his x-wing definitely needed repairing after the destruction of the death star, and he knew it. he was going to ask you to help him repair it as a makeshift ‘date’ without him saying the words ‘would you want to go out on a date with me?’ to prevent his heart from pounding out of his chest. it seemed like that didn’t go very well as he chickened out right after walking up to you. 

unbeknownst to luke, you already wanted to fix up his x-wing anyways. it was beautiful to you, more beautiful than the other x-wings in the hangar for no reason at all. they all looked about the same, but you assumed you liked this one more because it belonged to luke. 

the rebellion’s base was on hoth, the icy, freezing planet home to plenty of terrifying creatures. you couldn’t remember the last time you went outside other than for helping someone else do something. luke had liked it. he told you he grew up on tatooine, a sandy dust planet in the outer rim. he told you he hated it there, but when obi-wan had asked him for help in the task of getting leia out of the death star with han. obi-wan didn’t make it, and that fact shook luke down to the bone. he felt guilty about it, but he couldn’t let his death get to him.

you’d heard of obi-wan kenobi before, of course. he was a famous jedi knight during the clone wars. you could’ve swore he died before you were born but knowing that obi-wan protected luke with all he had left in him earned him a newfound respect for him. if you were able to ever meet obi-wan, you’d be sure to thank him for keeping luke alive for you to meet. 

leia, being your best friend, told you all about her being saved from the death star. she was saved by luke, han, and chewbacca, the incredibly tall, imposing looking wookiee. luckily, he was one of the sweetest souls you would ever meet. he was fiercely protective of his friends, and now, that included you. 

it felt weird being included in their little quartet. you thought they would solely stick to themselves before but right as they arrived and became official members of the resistance, they were constantly away from each other and meeting new people. han, of course, flirting with everyone he met even if he did have a liking towards leia. 

you knew why you liked luke. he was kind, you could see it in his eyes. his heart was full of compassion and love, he was determined to defeating the empire and seeing the end of darth vader no matter the cost. he would set his life on the line to protect anyone, and that was only the first part. his personality was lovely, and he always found a way to make those around him laugh.

his physical features were only a bonus to the beautiful personality he had. his eyes were so loving as they maintained eye contact with you whenever you talked. you could’ve swore his eyes sparkled whenever he talked about something or someone he loved. leia told you his eyes sparkled like that whenever he talked about you, but you refused to believe her and shook it off anyways. there was no way you could make luke look like that.

he always had a smile on his face, and his eyes crinkled upwards whenever he did so. you loved being able to make him smile. luke was single handedly the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. 

the smile on your face grew as you worked quietly on said persons x-wing. he didn’t have to ask you to do this, you wanted to do it yourself. he was practically an angel to you, always being kind and polite whenever he asked you for something. you wanted to pay him back for all of the things he did for you for fixing and upgrading his x-wing. hopefully he’d like it.

you wiped the sweat off of your forehead, and stood up off of the stool you’d pulled next to your work space. you backed away from the x-wing and crossed your arms, staring up at it with curious intent. what else could i do to better it? you asked yourself, chewing on your bottom lip in thought. you quickly walked a circle around it, admiring it from all angles. it was perfect.

you sat down your materials on the table. they weren’t actually.. yours. they were luke’s. you figured he wouldn’t mind you using them to repair something that belonged to him. you made sure they were all in good condition before placing them in the toolbox. 

you heard someone clear their throat from behind you, and you turned around in shock. it was luke, a beautiful smile etched across his features. the smile you knew you fell in love with. “luke!” you laughed, awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck. “what are you doing?” he asked you, taking a step towards you as you turned back towards his x-wing, desperately trying to hide the growing blush on your face.

“you don’t like my x-wing more than me, now, do you?” you heard his tease, and your eyes widened. you chuckled, breathless at his statement. “no, no, of course not.” you told him. “i like you a lot more than i do anything..” you mumbled under your breath, your eyes closing to avoid his gaze. “what was that?”

“nothing! nothing.” 

at this point, the hangar bay was completely empty. it was the middle of the night, when you thought luke would be fast asleep, but here he was, standing beside you. you took a peek at him, and his eyes caught your gaze.

“say.. y/n. what would you think about.. i don’t know, going on a date with me?”

is he seriously asking me this right now? alright, play it cool. 

“that would be.. nice.”

“what planet do you want to go to?”

“luke!”

[tiikeria]

Patron of the Poor, Protector of Outcasts

Title: Patron of the Poor, Protector of Outcasts Ship(s): None Rating: T Warning(s): Language Words: 1,874 words Summary: “I am Midas, God of Gold. Patron of the Poor and Protector of Outcasts. Wherever poverty and the downtrodden go, I’m needed. And Los Santos was full of it.” Notes: Huh. Two fics in two weeks? Am I feeling okay? I also have a third planned, and my lovely co-creator Pchew has one going as well. We like this AU bit too much. Anyway, enjoy!

Gavin didn’t like showing off what he could do. The more you played close to yourself, the more people underestimated you. That’s how he got such a reputation as a bumbling idiot. No one suspected the dumb one to swindle you out of everything, now did they?

But something was endearing about the childlike wonder Michael and Jeremy watched him with when he used his powers. Even the smallest thing seemed to capture their attention. His fellow Lads were so curious about what he could do, and, honestly, it was refreshing. Normally people regarded the gold from his hands with distrust and fear.

“So, what can you make?” Jeremy asked one afternoon, a lazy Sunday playing games and just enjoying each other’s company, “I mean, with the gold. Like, can you shape it, or is it just a flood, like before?”

Michael snorted, putting down his controller, “Jeremy just wants to know if you can make him a golden Spyro.”

“I do not!”

Gavin laughed, but produced the aforementioned dragon in his palm, shining brilliantly in the afternoon sun, “Shame, that, because I happen to have one, yeah?”

Jeremy’s pure joy and awe almost made him blush, “Okay, I do really want a golden Spyro, holy shit that is so fucking cool.”

“You think everything Spyro is cool, though.”

“I’m a simple man,” Jeremy stated, still staring longingly at the golden figure in Gavin’s hand, “I see Spyro, I’m happy. Same thing with whiskey.”

Giggles erupt from Gavin’s lips as he tosses the dragon to Jeremy, “Sorry, I can’t make golden whiskey. That’ll have to do.”

Michael huffs as Jeremy cradles his new toy like a father cradles a newborn, “What about me? What do I get? How dare you gift this schmuck something before you gift your Boi something! Does Boiship mean nothing to you, anymore!?”

“Michael, no, Michael!” More laughter bubbled from Gavin’s chest, “You’re my Boi, Michael! Jeremy’s my Lil J, but you’re my Boi! I have something for you, yeah? How about this?”

Gavin makes a show of it since he had their undivided attention, and because he could without the worry of scaring them. With a flourish, he presents Michael with a small, blocky, golden sword. Michael pretends to not be impressed, but Gavin can see the awe and joy in Michael’s eyes.

“Gold swords are for chumps, Boi!”

Gavin pretends to be offended, all part of the games they all play with each other, “I don’t bloody shit diamonds, Michael! But if you get me some, I might be persuaded to give you an upgrade.”

“You can do that?!” Jeremy perks up from where he had been admiring his little Spyro, “You can make diamond swords?”

“Well,” Gavin hums, “I can make swords. I’m sure making one out of diamonds isn’t impossible, yeah? Just have to figure it out. We could make a day of it, lads! I could teach you how to be smithies, just like I used to in the 1800s!”

“I always forget how fucking old you are,” Michael shakes his head, “I mean, you talk about the 1800s like it was last fucking year.”

“I’m only 3000 years old or summat. That’s nothing compared to other Gods!”

“‘Only 3000,’” Michael mocked in a high, squeaky, British accent, ignoring Gavin’s whines to stop being a “smegpot.” Jeremy laughed in turn at Gavin’s pout, but not unkindly, “You old ass Greek fuck.”

“If you’re Greek,” Jeremy giggled, “Why the fuck are you British?”

“What? What do you mean, ‘why am I British?’”

Jeremy throws his hands up in the air, “You were born in Ancient Greece. You lived in Ancient Greece for a long fucking time. You’ve lived in the US for a few decades. So why the fuck did you decide to be British?”

“Because I lived in the British Isles for over a century, Jeremy! I came over with the Romans and never bloody well left! I’m probably more British than Greek anymore, yeah?”

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

“That’s not how you work,” Gavin grumbles petulantly, earning him a snort from the two other Lads.

“So you’re fake British. What the fuck made you come to Los Santos of all places? I mean, you went from European shithole to American super shithole.”

Gavin stretches out on the white sectional that took up most of the Fakes’ living room, sun streaming in the floor to ceiling windows making his skin look more golden than it really was. Jeremy and Michael settle down similarly, the quiet music from their abandoned game the only other sound in the room as Gavin collected his thoughts.

“Now that’s a question, innit?” He finally says, leveling them with a lopsided smile, “You know I’m God of Gold, yeah?”

“Of course,” Jeremy instantly answers, to which Gavin hums.

“That’s not all I’m God of. Most gods have other domains as well, like Artemis being Goddess of the Hunt, but also of Childbirth. Or Apollo being God of Medicine as well as Music and Prophesy. I also have other domains.

“Akakios contacted me a few decades ago, about 40 years, really, and said he found a city that needed me. He had been living in the States for quite a while at that point, from the Northeast to the South to the Midwest. Everywhere, yeah? But he had never said that about any of the cities he visited. So, I knew he had to be serious to even consider that a city needed my help.”

Both Michael and Jeremy watch Gavin closely as Gavin turns to look out over the city through the windows. Eventually, when Gavin didn’t start up again, Michael piped up, “So what else are you God of that made it so you could help Los Santos?”

Gavin smiled softly, “I am Midas, God of Gold. Patron of the Poor and Protector of Outcasts. Wherever poverty and the downtrodden go, I’m needed. And Los Santos was full of it. Corruption was even worse than it is now. At least 80% of the population was below the poverty level. Almost 30% were homeless. Kios saw these people and knew I could help them somehow. So, I boarded the next flight from London and got to work.”

“Jesus,” Jeremy breathed, “You fixed Los Santos?”

“I still am, yeah? Until these people no longer pray to me, I’m needed.”

The three were quiet for a moment, as Gavin watched the sun dip lower in the sky out the windows, buildings glinting in the late afternoon sun like steel and glass gemstones. He still had so much work to do to get Los Santos to where he’d be happy leaving it. So many were still born into poverty. Too many homeless and alone. He did what he could, but he was one God against a society that didn’t care.

Gavin started when Michael finally spoke, the tone in his voice leaving no room for argument. Gavin knew that tone very well. Michael had made up his mind about something and wasn’t about to be swayed.

“So, what can we do to help clean up the shit?”

“I…what?”

“You heard me. How can the crew help? We have more money than sense anymore. And most of us grew up in lower-class dumps like Los Santos. Hell, Fiona was raised here. I’ve been on the streets, and it sucks major doo doo. So, how can we help you make this place a level above a turd?”

Gavin felt a swell of emotion for his Boi, that extended to Jeremy when he saw him nod in agreement. Both of them were watching him in rapt attention as if soldiers waiting on their orders. And Gavin…well, Gavin knew exactly what they could do. A grin curled on his lips as he pulled out his phone to call a crew meeting.

“Boys…I think we need a heist.”

A few weeks later, the news would tell a peculiar tale. Someone had broken into dozens of homes of wealthy Los Santos citizens, all in one night. Nothing was taken but the clothes in their closets, and the food in their cupboards.

Meanwhile, every legitimate shelter in Los Santos, homeless camps, and charities received an anonymous donation of clothes and food. The only note was emblazoned with a green duck and written in gold ink.

Enjoy your donations. Make sure they’re used. We’ll be watching over you.

Of course, this didn’t make the news. Stories of the lower class never did. But that was just fine for the culprits; they didn’t do it for the fame or the fortune. No, they did it for the people. The people of their city.

It took a while before the police caught on to what the crew was doing. Sure, they still hit banks, but the majority of the stolen notes would end up funding an after-school program for at-risk youth. Expensive items would go missing, only to end up at a charity auction for a women’s center. And those few good officers saw what the crew was trying to accomplish. For the first time, the Fakes had allies in the LSPD; not many, but it was a start.

And the crew themselves seemed to have a new spark. Excitement in the air when they all sat down to plan the next heist, with the next recipient of their Robin Hooding. Jack heisted for a Children’s Hospital and they ended up with a small green duck on the new mural for the playground at the hospital’s campus. Geoff bolstered local AA and addiction groups, giving them the resources they needed to reach more people. Jeremy and Michael worked together to create boxing and wrestling programs for low-income kids. Matt and Trevor created STEM programs. Fiona worked on LBGT programs. Lindsay was adamant about helping the animals of Los Santos.

They all had their niche. And, together, they did their best to make good in the city.

Gavin was overjoyed, to say the least. To see the people he cared about the most helping him make the city a better place was everything he had ever hoped for. He still got prayers daily, almost hourly, but they were coming less as people had more places to turn for help. Of course, he would always answer the call, if needed, but he could finally relax after 40 years of doing everything he could to raise the city from its rough beginnings.

And he started to see a shift in the people as well. They were helping each other, raising each other from where they had fallen. Injustice was being spoken out against. Marches were organized for victims of senseless violence. People were donating more of their time and money to helping those around them. Gang wars turned into alliances against corruption. Ballas and Vagos worked side-by-side on cleaning up the rec center that bordered their territories. The Families extended protection to those too weak to fight for themselves, with no payment needed. Even Madrazo’s Cartel could be seen handing out food and blankets to the homeless.

Something had changed. Something had shifted.

Maybe there was still hope for Los Santos after all.