#so i feel positive overall
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Not to keep being a Positive Pansy but I think Iām actually excited about the new style
#it terrifies me and theyāre different so I definitely feel that feeling of āwho is thatā#but I think I can get used to it#and if I DO get used to it I do think itās an overall positive change for the series#I know people compare them to the movie a lot (for obvious reasons) but I like them a lot better than the movie models#and also the fact that theyāll have the same mannerisms/characterization will go a long way#(unlike the movie where they were Written differently too)#ml leaks#ml s6 leaks#ml spoilers#ml s6 spoilers
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james somerton's downfall feels so much more final than other creators and honestly it's more depressing than it is cathartic. i genuinely feel that he'll never be able to come back from this because hbomberguy (and now todd in the shadows as well) have so thoroughly revealed the hollowness of his work that its like... even if he does apologize, even if he does begin to cite and reference the way he should have always done, it's so clear that anything original that he had to say was so bitter and misogynistic that no one would find value in it
#hbomberguy#james somerton#todd in the shadows#i have so many thoughts on this but overall i feel emptier for it#hes contributed to the queer erasure that he posits himself as the solution to. how deplorable
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there was some Twitter madness recently where someone left a comment on someone's art to the effect of, "Ed shouldn't wear a dress, he's a man!" which I do disagree with on principle, but unfortunately, it brought out one of my least favourite trends in the fandom
so, naturally, I had to write a twitter essay about it. and I already largely argued this in a post here, but the thread is clearer and better structured, so I thought I'd cross-post for those not on the Hellsite (derogatory). edited for formatting/structure's sake, since I no longer have to keep to tweet lengths, and incorporating a couple of points other people brought up in the replies
so
I want to point out that the wedding cake toppers in OFMD s2 aren't evidence that Ed wants to wear dresses. Gender is fake, men can wear skirts, play with these dolls how you like, but it's not canon, and that scene especially Doesn't Mean That.
People cite it often: 'He put himself in a dress by painting the bride as himself! It's what he wants!' But that fundamentally misunderstands the scene, and the series' framing of weddings as a whole. I'd argue that Ed paints the figure not from desire, but from self-hatred; it's not what he wants, but what he thinks he should, and has failed to, be.
(Yes, I am slightly biased by my rampant anti-marriage opinions, but bear with me here, because it is relevant to the interpretation of the scene, and season two as a whole.)
The show is not subtle. It keeps telling us that the institution of marriage is a prison that suffocates everyone involved. Ed's parents' cycle of abuse is passed to their son in both the violence he witnesses then enacts on his father, and the self-repression his mother teaches, despite her good intentions ("It's not up to us, is it? It's up to God. ... We're just not those kind of people. We never will be."). Stede and Mary are both oppressed by their arranged marriage, with 1x04 blunty titled Discomfort in a Married State. The Barbados widows revel in their freedom ("We're alive. They're dead. Now is your time").
But even without this context, the particular wedding crashed in 2x01 is COMICALLY evil. The scene is introduced with this speech from the priest:
"The natural condition of humanity is base and vile. It is the obligation of people of standing ... to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony."
It's upper class, all-white, and religiously sanctioned. "Vile natural conditions" include queerness, sexual freedom, and family structures outside the cisheteropatriarchal capitalist unit. "The obligation of people of standing" invokes ideas like the white man's burden, innate class hierarchy, religious missions, and conversion therapy. Matrimony is presented as both "sacred" (endorsed by the ruling religious body), and a "transaction" (business performed to transfer property and people-as-property, regardless of their desires), a tool of the oppressive society that pirates escape and destroy. That is where the figurines come from.
When Ed, in a drunk, depressive spiral, paints himself onto the bride, he's not yearning for a pretty dress. He's sort of yearning for a wedding, but that's not framed as positive. What he's doing is projecting himself into an 'ideal' image of marriage because he believes that: a) that's what Stede (and everyone) wants; b) he can never live up to that ideal because he's unlovable and broken (brown, queer, lower-class, violent, abused, etc); c) that's why Stede left. He tries to make himself fit into the social ideal by painting himself onto the closest match - long-haired, partner to Stede/groom, but a demure, white woman, a frozen, porcelain miniature - because, if he could just shrink himself down and squeeze into that box, maybe Stede would love him and he'd live happily ever after. But he can't. So he won't.
The fantasy fails: Ed is morose, turns away from the figurines, then tips them into the sea, a lost cause. He knows he won't ever fulfil that bride's role, but he sees that as a failure in himself, not the role. It's not just that "Stede left, so Ed will never have a dream wedding and might as well die." Stede left when Ed was honest and vulnerable, "proving" what his trauma and depression tell him: there's one image of love (of personhood), and he'll never live up to it because he's fundamentally deficient. So he might as well die.
This hit me from my very first viewing. The scene is devastating, because Ed is wrong, and we know it! He doesn't need to change or reduce himself to fit an image and be accepted (as, eg, Izzy demanded). Stede knows and loves him exactly as he is; it's the main thread and theme of season two!
(@/everyonegetcake suggested that Ed's yearning in these scenes includes his broader desire for the vulnerability and safety Stede offered, literalised through unattainable "fine" things like the status of gentleman in s1, or the figurine's blue dress. I'd argue, though, that these scenes don't incorporate this beyond a general knowledge of Ed's character. Ed is always pining for both literal and emotional softness, but the significance of the figurines specifically, to both Ed and the audience, is poisoned by their origin and context: there is no positive fantasy in the bride figure, only Ed's perceived deficiency.
Further, assuming that a desire for vulnerability necessarily corresponds with an explicit desire for femininity, dresses, etc, kind of contradicts the major themes of the show. OFMD asserts that there is nothing wrong with men assuming femininity (through drag, self-care, nurturing, emotional vulnerability, etc), but also that many of these traits are, in fact, genderless, and should be available to men without affecting their perceived or actual masculinity. It thematically invokes the potential for cross-gender expression in Ed's desires, especially through the transgender echoes in his relieved disposal, then comfortable reincorporation, of the Blackbeard leathers/identity. It's a rich, valuable area of analysis and exploration. But it remains a suggestion, not a canon or on-screen trait.)
Importantly, the groom figure doesn't fit Stede, either. Not just in dress: it's stiff and formal, and marriage nearly killed him. He's shabbier now, yes, but also shedding his privilege and property, embracing his queerness, and trying to take responsibility for his community. In a s1 flashback, Stede hesitantly says, "I thought that, when I did marry, it could be for love," but he would never find love in marriage. Not just because he's gay, but because marriage in OFMD is an oppressive, transactional institution that precludes love altogether. All formal marriages in OFMD are loveless.
So, he becomes a pirate, where they reject society altogether and have matelotages instead. Lucius and Pete's "mateys" ceremony is shot and framed not like a wedding, but as an honest, personal bond, willingly conducted in community (in a circle; no presiding authority, procession, or transaction).
That is how Stede and Ed can find love, companionship, and happiness: by rejecting those figurines and their oppressive exchange of property, overseen by a church that enables colonialism and abuse. Ed is loved, and deserves happiness, as he is, no paint or projection required.
ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY: draw Ed in dresses! Write him getting gender euphoria in skirts! Write trans/nb Ed, draw men being feminine! Gender is fake, the show invites exploration, that's what 'transformative works' means! But please, stop citing the cake toppers as evidence it's canon. Stop citing a scene where a depressed MÄori man gets drunk and projects himself onto a rich, white, silent bride because he thinks he's innately unlovable and only people like her can find happiness, shortly before deciding to kill himself, as canon evidence it's what he wants.
(Also, please don't come in here with "lmao we're just having fun," I know, I get it. Unfortunately, I'm an academiapilled researchmaxxer, and some of youse need to remember that the word "canon" has meaning. NOW GO HAVE FUN PUTTING THAT MAN IN A PRETTY DRESS!! šš)
#OFMD#Our Flag Means Death#OFMD Edward Teach#gender stuff#Togas does meta#god this seems even longer as a semi-proper essay XD#I know this is the piss on the poor website of reading comprehension but please god don't misunderstand me#i'm not saying you can't draw ed (or any other male character!) in a dress or that it's The Wrong Interpretation or whatever#I AM saying this fandom sometimes emphasises feminising Ed to the point of over-simplification and dehumanisation#which certainly feels at least racist-adjacent and definitely misses the point of the show#but mostly I'm saying that THAT SCENE DOESN'T MEAN THAT and I wish people would stop talking about it like something sweet and positive#when it's one of the most miserable and heartbreaking scenes in the show. like. agreeing with ed's depression is a bad look...#my experience of trying to do meta in the last year or so has consisted almost entirely of trying to do#specific historicist analysis or textual close readings#and being met with broad political analyses and overall interpretations of character#like mate..... bless you for engaging but. that is not what I'm doing here. XD#shoutout to the couple folks on twt that mentioned Ed's desires generally or an outtake from the scene#neither of which are at all relevant to my point but thank you for your input
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DPXDC Prompt #91
Danny was dimension hopping, his original dimension was still there but after his parents disowned him when they found out it wasnāt safe anymore especially with the GIW stepping up their game. Danny just wanted to find a dimension where he could live peacefully after all he was part human and while he loves the infinite realms it wasnāt sustainable in the long run to his human half. He finally finds one where the GIW doesnāt exist at all, but the weird part is there are actual superheroes here. The weirder part is his counterpart in this dimension is part of the Justice League! The bad part is it seems in this dimension the portal fully killed him so how was he supposed to explain to his counterpart that he was half dead.
#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny fenton#danny phantom#poor danny#writing prompt#Danny meets his fully dead counterpart in an alternate dimension#alternate universe#danny is a little shit#How does Justice League Danny feel about this?#Fully dead meets half ghost#Honestly not a fan personally for full dead AU I kind of think it takes away from the point of Dannyās character in the first place#Thatās just me though#These prompts are meant for everyone though so even if you think differently from me your opinions are valid#I think conflicting ideas is an overall positive#Also I hit 1K notes in a single day yesterday and I canāt believe it#Thank you everyone!!#my asks are open#if anyone had a question Iāll post some of my old artwork again
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thinking about kageyamaās āitās the setterās job to break the wall in front of the spikerā in reference to how kenma sponsoring hinata while heās in brazil and onwards is effectively doing that on a financial level. once a setter always a setter.
#could talk about how the narrative purpose of every setter (at least in hinataās story) reflects the idea of breaking a wall in front of him#for hours i think#i want to do a full manga read to fully think about that but#atsumu & hinataās feeling that he needs kageyama. kenma & just the financial logistics of being able to go to brazil. oikawa & homesickness#obviously thereās more going on w/ all the characters but like. those 3 & kageyama (obviously) all have at least one big thing they help-#hinata overcome. kageyama has so many of these moments w/ hinata iād have to rewatch & list them all but yea.#akaashi is also this but for bokuto. (bokuto is this for akaashi as well)#(& if weāre talking setters & spikers obviously hinata is that for kageyama. Obviously. theyāre soulmates)#i know this is lowkey just me analyzing the concept of support which a team sport series is inevitably filled to the brim with#but with a lot of what i consider to be hinataās big character momentsā¦ itās always setters man. & that feels deeply intentional.#& takeda obviously but heās the coach. that is his Narrative Purpose#i wonder if thereās something strong to be said about main characters positions within the team & their strongest overall narrative purposes#like āliberoā meaning free in italian & nishinoya & freedom being his Whole Thing. he goes to karasuno bc he likes the uniform!!#iām curious if i took every character & took their position if iād find a list of commonalities between their narrative purposes. idk!#but yea anyways i dislike dumbing down hinataās relationships w/ his setters as like āomg setter haremā as anything other than a light joke#but hinata & setters is such a big deal. almost all my favorite hinata dynamics are with setters i think & thatās bc of that importance#if anyone read this rant in the tags thank you for your time lol. happy birthday hinata i love you forever#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyÅ«!!#hinata shouyou#hinata shoyo#kozume kenma
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funny how i love to pretend to be all big and tough knowing full well that toji would make me so fucking nervous that i couldn't get a single fucking sentence out without stutteringšššš
#i go so red in the face very easily too#i'm doomed#it's so over for me#would try to bring up smth sex related in the middle of the day and i'd just be hiding my face in his chest#bright red like a fucking tomatoššš#GET A GRIPPPPP#don't get me wrong overall these topics are fine#but i feel like if it was me wanting to try smth out#like a position or smth#then that would kill me#FOR WHATEVER REASON#šššš#SO STUPID#GODDDD#is it better to speak or to die#to die i can't do this#HE JUST#MAKES ME NERVOUS OKAY LEAVE ME BE#miji
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autistic becoming a neutral/positive adjective in todays culture would make my younger neurodivergent self so happy and hopeful (and i hope others can find that too:))
#it definitely has not become fully positive#i have seen it be an insult (to me and others) in casual conversation#<- someone said i was the boring kind of autism and i have grieved ever since then (/hj)#<- people also just add on to anything weird or wrong i do āur autisticā which Iāve come to realize is in a demeaning way#(didnāt realize bc of the autism)#but i feel like i can tell people that i am autistic now. as opposed to when i hid it so people wouldnāt think less of me#or change how they acted around me#now i have people being like (real conversation btw) āyeah but that guys an asshole. and the other is autistic and coolāā#<- this was a neurotypical childhood friend who would never say this a decade ago#Iāve heard kids say cute things like āi am so happy youāre youāāI wish i was autistic like youā <- a little confused but heās got the spirit#i know the world is still shitty and rude and disrespectful#but i have seen such a growth of love and support and overall normalization in todays world#and progress is progress <3#donāt forget that!!#autism#autistic#actually autistic#neurodivergent#positivity#idk what else to tag#but ily all<3#the rare og text post
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I don't understand what is happening in biathlon with the Finnish ladies suddenly doing so well but I'm so living for it
#noopa rambles#biathlon#I'm just watching the comps and going#'what do you Mean Minkkinen made it to the flower ceremony again'#'what do you Mean there's two finns in the top ten'#'what do you Mean Lehtonen missed three and somehow still placed 23rd'#'what do you Mean the lowest finishing position of a Finn was 30th'#'what do you Mean they all made it to Pursuit'#what are they feeding them!!!#how on earth is Minkkinen 5th in the overall standings!!!#I feel like I've entered an alternative reality#I'm so so so happy for them#I was so ready for another season of 'yay someone made it to points this one time'#and somehow it's turned into a 'hey here's yet another top 10'#I don't care what anyone says abt the finnish athlete of the year but minkkinen is definitely it for me#the way she's been able to improve this season is just so impressive; and the consistency#I hope the other gals too find that consistency#and the guys too
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Today I wore a crop top outside for the first time ever.
I got fatshamed told I shouldn't wear that because it's "unflattering" for me, but on the streets I got catcalled.
Society sends confusing messages.
#overall a positive experience#i'm slowly starting to reach that point when being fat doesn't feel like the tragedy it has been for 75% of my lifetime so far#and that for me is huge#as a teen i was an ed wannabe sad because I had too much adult surveilance to sucessfully mantain for long ed-like practices and habits
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brought to you by me hosting a friend for two days who grew up in the same cultural region, and tbh will not be invited again.
#night two of spontaneously showering for over an hour with no notice just as i indicated i wanted to go to bed...#pls consider. i have to shit lol#i also have meds#i'd honestly make fuckin due if i'd had the indicators to like. idk say oh i need to grab my meds first#but also idk how to put it other than this is one of. so many behaviors that are making me just about reconsider the friendship as a whole#within 2 days#i lowkey wanna cry because this has gone so badly overall#and i feel like i'm in a position where it's both unfair for me to not communicate this distress (because maybe we could work it out)#but also if i do communicate. this individual was having and is now coming out of a hypomanic episode where they kept talking about#self harm related habits and displaying self hatred for the mildest of critiques#and they've never communicated what to do in these situations previously so idk their boundaries and honestly don't trust them to establish#boundaries that they would benefit from because they have a large history of that#so uh. yeah in conclusion i am counting the hours til they leave and i can more easily try to figure out how the fuck to handle this
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Okay it's been one week.. even if you havent finished the story or even gotten to play, at this point you probably have SOME sort of opinion on the thing. So:
No "it's complicated" option bc of COURSE it is š. Take a tally, weight it however you like, and then use the tags to show your work :)
(And please don't spoiler tag this; like i said, this isn't just for people who have finished the game!)
#sonic#sonic frontiers#myaa#polls#mine is overall positive#i think there is some poor choices with executing the difficulty scaling#and yea the final boss is poorly communicated. but that does not feel out of character for thev game#a lot of thev optional cutscenes sucked and things felt missing from the main story#BUT...#the story was overall good and so were SOME optional cutscenes#i like the friends' mechanics and the extra challenges#and i really life the new cyberspaces. even if you don't have to do them
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brain has gone fully blue screen 404 Thoughts Not Found
#my brother is???? having a baby?????????#he and his gf seem happy and i adore her so overall this is probably a positive? maybe?#but mannn idk how i feel about him becoming a whole entire father#i love him to bits but heās kind of a mess#no judgement bc i am also a mess#but like. thereās no wiggle room with parenting#thereās no do overs#ofc theyāll have tons of support including me so iām just gonna take a deep breath and decide to be happy about this#i think#yeah thatās probably what i should do#holy shit what the fuck#personal
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Aaooughh razclem on the brain
#theyāre sosososo interesting to me#I hc that Clem had a crush on Raz back at camp#also that he got attached to Raz since from what Raz says abt his dad before meat circus ( ie him being anti psychic )#Clem related super hard bc his own dad is very anti psychic ( also just an overall abusive person )#so when he actually meets Augustus in that short period of time before RoR/Pn2#and finds out that heās actually a decent person#Clem is kinda crushed bc he thought he had someone who had a similar struggle to him#which festers into a bitter jealousy when heās older#which isnāt helped by the fact when Clem joins the intern program Raz is kinda dead set on trying to help Clem with his issues#bc Raz feels really guilty for not realizing back at camp#( he doesnāt do the walking on eggshells thing like he did with Crystal though )#but due to Clems attitude he starts to get worn down#Crystal even warns Raz not to push himself to help Clem at the expense of his mental health/well being#bc she herself was in a very similar position before she and Clem had their falling out#but Raz doesnāt listen and eventually Clem goes too far and makes a really nasty remark about Razs family ( possibly maligua related )#and Raz loses it#he and Clem get into a huge fight and after that they avoid eachother or get into arguments with eachother#I have many more thoughts abt this but Iām gonna run out of tags lol#psychonauts#clem foote#razputin aquato
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Ep 6!!!
#Biggest take away from the episode: @fandom Dazai can't be Atsushi's father figure if he himself says Atsushi's father figure is theā#headmaster check your facts#Second biggest take away from the episode: the worst thing the headmaster transmitted Atsushi ought to be the terrible haircut choices#Mmmmhhh I could spend another whole tag rant to talk about how much I dislike the writing of Lucy in this episode ššš#But I worry I'll start being perceived as someone who hates women if I do so I won't.#(But let me just say. I really really *really* despite the āwhat women [alien and mysterious beings] want is hard to understand andā#impossible to decipher and more often than not they will say the exact opposite of what they meanā stereotype.#Like I hate it to an intimate extent.)#I quite like Kyouka's backstory!! I feel like she's the most fleshed out female character with a compelling character arc and personality.#I really like her. Lucy and Atsushi working as make-do parents (very largerly intended. More like siblings who are dating but that soundsā#even worse) was very cute. And I appreciate how the events seemed to set off Atsushi's own reflection on parenthood.#The same doesn't happen in the manga since the chapters are placed in a different order.#Overall this is just an episode that when I was reading the manga for the first time solidified my understanding that me and b/sd have#RADICALLY different views on the world. But now that after three years and having long come to terms with it.#I suppose it's just something that's there.#Ususal notes about the animation just for talks. The lack of budget really shows this episode and in the second half in particular.#It's especially noticeable in backgrounds that are just... Not the stunning backgrounds that usually make b/sd's anime strong point.#So in turn the lack of details comes off as twice as evident as it normally would :/#The whole Atsushi / Tanizaki exchange at the start of the chapter until the headmaster's identity is revealed is completely devoidā#of host which has me just?? What happened here??? A track slowly building up tension is an almost automatic choice I'm just like.#What happened. If it was a deliberate choice it was a very bad one in my humble opinion#On a more positive note I really like whoever drew the characters ābackground appearenceā this episode eheh#(you knowā the more stylized one when they're not on close up)#And the drawings at the end of the episode daz/atsu twilight scene were good. Kyouka's flashback was also good.#That's it :)#random rambles#Oh yeah rip chapter 39 ss/kk scene ig :///
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So idk if I can really articulate the way I'm feeling rn to translate it perfectly, but I want you guys to know how much I truly appreciate everyone who's followed me over the years, who has interacted with me in any way no matter how small, and anyone who has shown up recently. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It's probably cheesy to say but everyone here has made my life so much brighter and I feel so unbelievably blessed to have been invited into your lives in some way, even if it's just as someone who sometimes shows up on your dash.
I decided to scroll through my tag on here and the way people have supported me over the years though everything really, deeply touched my heart this evening. The people who have drawn fanart for me, the people who have commissioned me, the people who have tagged me in things (I cringe every time bc I feel soooo bad for not seeing them until I look in my tag once in a blue moon, but know I appreciate you trying to include me), the people who tag me when asked who their art inspirations or favorite blogs are (!!!!!!!!!??????), the people who post their art saying that my art inspired them in some way, people who express their excitement when they realize I've followed them (this will never stop being wild to me, what an incredible thing!!!! I'm just me!) everyone. It's absolutely mind boggling to me and I can't stress enough how much it means.
I've had such an incredible time on this site so far and met some of my closest friends here and just.. wow. Thank you so much to all of you, from the very bottom of my heart. I cannot thank you enough for all of your support!! Every little bit of interaction is a blessing to me and I've run out of ways to express that so I'll wrap this up here but yeah!! I hope you all have a lovely evening or whatever time of day it is in your time zone. Know that you've impacted me in a way I can't express and try to give yourselves a little grace, you'll never know how much you've improved the lives of the people around you by just spending a little time in their space ā„
#i wanted to tag a bunch of my friends bc i saw a lot of people i don't interact with much anymore bc of my reclusiveness in recent years#but i was terrified of accidentally leaving people out so if you're wondering if i'm thinking about you then you're exactly who i mean#love love love love love I'm so incredibly fortunate and i can't forget that!!!!#the fact that i've been on here since 2014 and have only received one mean ask that i can think of is insane#i know i've been a bit of a downer lately but overall my hope is that i've created a positive space where people can be happy and feel safe#in some way in any way#and i hope i feel like someone people can talk to (or at.. i know im bad at replying but i do like to read sjkdlfsd)#i've been told that i may come off as intimidating but i truly don't want to be i want people to feel comfortable interacting ^^#ANYWAY gotta go to bed this is embarrassing thanks for listening byeee#dl#not art#i forgot to mention this but also people who use my art for their pfps???????? SPEECHLESS#all of the art in the world and you chose mine it makes my heart so full#also just realized i completely forgot to respond to emails today#if you see this and you're waiting on one I'll reply tomorrow but know I've gotten it!
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claudiaās ghost throttles you every time you call her claudia de lioncourt btw.
#starting to feel some type of way#abt people acting like lestat standing there watching claudia die is proof of love likeā¦.#thatās so nauseating to me#and we need to understand something else#lestat creating claudia and being her āfatherā does not mean their relationship was overall positive#like giving her his name when she died hating himā¦#when she spent more of her life hating him than loving himā¦#and i understand delainey said she looked to him for comfort ādad help meā but he was the last real connection she had in that room#there was literally no one else#idk maybe itās just me#iwtv spoilers#claudia
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