#so he's determined to build a new family even though he doesn't realize that's what he's doing

[tvrningout]

i see or hear alternative/punk rock content and arata screams at the top of his lungs to let him out

[skywalker1dream]

Title: reconnecting

Max verstappen x reader

Summary: Years after drifting apart from childhood best friend Max Verstappen, you find yourself unexpectedly reunited during a family-planned summer holiday in Spain. Despite your initial reluctance to join, you discover that old bonds can reignite in the most unexpected ways.

Warning: none?

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The sun was setting over the picturesque Spanish coast, casting a golden glow over the sprawling summer house your families had rented. You stared out the car window, feeling a mixture of nostalgia and irritation. Nostalgia, because you had spent countless summers with the Verstappens as a child. Irritation, because you hadn't wanted to come on this trip at all.

"Come on, it'll be fun," your mother had insisted, practically dragging you along. "You used to love spending time with them."

"Yeah, when I was ten," you muttered under your breath. But arguing with your mom had never been fruitful, so here you were, stepping out into the warm evening air, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach.

Your family was greeted warmly by Max's parents. You exchanged polite hugs and greetings, trying to push down the awkwardness. The house was stunning, with whitewashed walls and a terrace that overlooked the sparkling Mediterranean Sea.

You were just about to head to your room when a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks. "Hey, stranger."

You turned around, heart pounding, and there he was. Max Verstappen. He looked older, more mature, but his eyes still had that same mischievous glint.

"Max?" you managed to say, your voice catching in your throat.

"In the flesh," he replied with a grin. "Long time no see."

---------

Later that evening, after the initial shock had worn off and dinner was served on the terrace, you found yourself sitting next to Max. The conversation flowed easily among the adults, but you and Max were a bit more reserved.

"So," Max said, breaking the silence between you two, "what have you been up to all these years?"

You shrugged, poking at your salad. "Just life, I guess. School, work. The usual. You?"

Max chuckled. "I think you know what I've been up to."

"Yeah, I guess following your career doesn't really count as keeping in touch, huh?" You smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

He nodded, his expression softening. "I missed you, you know. We used to be inseparable."

"Yeah, well, life happens," you said, a bit more sharply than you intended.

Max winced. "I'm sorry. I should have tried harder to keep in touch."

You sighed, feeling a pang of guilt. "It's not all on you. I could have reached out too."

He looked at you, his gaze intense. "Then let's make up for lost time."

-----------

The next few days were a blur of sun, laughter, and rediscovery. You and Max fell back into a rhythm that felt both new and familiar. You found yourselves staying up late, talking about everything and nothing. One night, as you both sat on the terrace, the stars twinkling above, Max turned to you.

"Do you remember that summer when we were ten, and we tried to build a treehouse?"

You laughed. "Yeah, it was more like a pile of sticks than a treehouse."

Max grinned. "We were so determined though. I kind of miss that."

"Miss what? Failing at building things?"

He shook his head. "No. Just... us. The way we used to be."

You looked at him, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Me too."

----------------

As the days passed, it became clear that this trip was more than just a family reunion. It was a chance to rebuild something you both thought was lost. And as you sat together on the beach, watching the waves crash against the shore, you realized that sometimes, life has a way of bringing you back to where you belong.

Max turned to you, his eyes reflecting the ocean. "So, what do you say? Think we can give this friendship another shot?"

You smiled, feeling lighter than you had in years. "Yeah, I think we can."

And maybe, just maybe, it could be something more.

-------------------------

The summer house buzzed with the sounds of laughter and conversation. It felt like old times, but with an edge of something new and unspoken. You and Max had grown, and so had the dynamics between you.

Years after drifting apart from childhood best friend Max Verstappen, you find yourself unexpectedly reunited during a family-planned summer holiday in Spain. Despite your initial reluctance to join, you discover that old bonds can reignite in the most unexpected ways.

One afternoon, as you were chatting with Max in the garden, your mother approached, a wide smile on her face. "[your name], have you met the new neighbors? They're a lovely family. Their son, Aaron, is around your age."

You shot her a look, sensing her ulterior motives. "Uh, no, I haven't met them yet."

Max's expression shifted slightly, a hint of irritation flickering in his eyes.

"Well, you should come meet them. They're joining us for a barbecue tonight," your mother continued.

"Sure, Mom," you replied, trying to hide your reluctance.

That evening, as everyone gathered on the terrace for the barbecue, you were introduced to Aaron. He was friendly, charming, and clearly interested in getting to know you. You couldn't help but notice Max's jaw tighten every time Aaron made you laugh.

"So, [your name]," Aaron said, his eyes sparkling, "what do you do?"

Before you could answer, Max cut in. "She's actually really talented. She works in marketing and has a knack for creative projects."

You raised an eyebrow at Max. "I can speak for myself, you know."

Aaron laughed, oblivious to the tension. "That's impressive. Maybe you can give me some tips. I'm starting my own business and could use some marketing advice."

"Sure," you said, smiling. "I'd be happy to help."

Max excused himself abruptly, muttering something about getting more drinks. You watched him go, feeling a mix of confusion and concern.

------------

Later that night, you found Max sitting alone on the beach, staring out at the dark waves. You approached cautiously. "Hey, you okay?"

He glanced up at you, his expression unreadable. "Yeah, just needed some air."

You sat down beside him. "You seemed a bit off tonight."

Max sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's just... I don't know. Seeing you with Aaron, I guess I felt a bit... jealous."

You blinked, taken aback by his honesty. "Jealous? Why?"

He looked at you, his eyes searching yours. "Because I realized I don't want to lose you again. Not to anyone."

Your heart pounded in your chest. "Max, you won't lose me. We're just reconnecting."

He shook his head. "It's more than that. I think it always has been."

--------------

The next day, the tension between you and Max was palpable. Your families noticed, and during breakfast, Max's mother, Sophie, leaned over to your mother. "Those two have always had a special bond, haven't they?"

Your mother nodded, a knowing smile on her lips. "Yes, they have. Maybe this summer will be good for them."

As the day wore on, you tried to focus on enjoying the holiday, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Max and his confession. You decided to confront the situation head-on.

That evening, you found Max in the kitchen, helping to prepare dinner. "We need to talk," you said, your voice firm.

He looked at you, his expression wary. "Okay."

You took a deep breath. "About what you said last night. Do you really mean it?"

Max set down the knife he was holding and turned to face you fully. "I do. I think I've always felt this way, but I didn't realize it until now."

Your heart raced as you stepped closer. "Then why did you let us drift apart?"

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I was young and stupid. I thought I needed to focus on racing, and everything else fell by the wayside. Including you."

You reached out, placing a hand on his arm. "Well, we're here now. And we have a chance to start over."

Max's eyes softened as he covered your hand with his. "I'd like that. A lot."

---------

Over the next few days, the dynamic between you and Max shifted. There was a new closeness, an unspoken understanding that something more was blooming between you. The jealousy that had sparked in Max whenever Aaron was around seemed to dissipate as he grew more confident in your feelings for him.

One evening, as you and Max walked along the beach, he stopped and turned to you, taking both of your hands in his. "I've been thinking a lot about us," he said softly.

You looked up at him, your heart pounding. "And?"

"And I don't want to waste any more time," he said, his eyes intense. "I want to be with you, [your name]. For real."

You smiled, feeling tears of happiness prick at the corners of your eyes. "I want that too."

He leaned in, and as his lips met yours, you felt the past melt away, replaced by the promise of a future together.

------------

The days that followed your confession on the beach were filled with a heady mix of tension and passion. You and Max were inseparable, yet the simmering emotions between you both seemed to heighten with each passing moment.

One particularly hot afternoon, as you lounged by the pool, Aaron sauntered over, his charming smile firmly in place. "Hey, [your name], up for a swim?"

You glanced at Max, who was sitting nearby, his eyes narrowing slightly at Aaron's approach. "Sure, why not," you replied, feeling a bit mischievous.

As you and Aaron splashed around in the pool, Max's gaze grew darker. He tried to focus on his book, but his eyes kept drifting to where you were laughing with Aaron.

Aaron swam closer, his playful demeanor making you laugh even more. "You know, I was thinking we could go into town tomorrow. There's this great market I think you'd love."

"That sounds fun," you said, catching Max's glare from the corner of your eye.

Max couldn't take it anymore. He stood up abruptly, the deck chair scraping against the tiles. "Actually, we have plans tomorrow," he said, his voice tight.

You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "We do?"

Max nodded, not breaking eye contact. "Yes, I thought we could explore that secluded beach we talked about."

You saw the determination in his eyes and decided to play along. "Oh, right. The beach. Sorry, Aaron, maybe another time."

Aaron looked between you and Max, realizing he was outmatched. "No problem, maybe another time then."

--------------

That evening, the tension between you and Max was palpable. You found yourselves alone in the living room, the flickering light from the fireplace casting shadows on the walls.

"Was that really necessary?" you asked, crossing your arms.

Max stepped closer, his eyes burning with intensity. "Yes, it was. I can't stand seeing you with him."

Your breath hitched as he closed the distance between you. "Max, he's just a friend."

"I know," he said, his voice low and rough. "But I...."

He reached out, gently cupping your face. The world seemed to stop as he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was both tender and demanding. You melted against him, your hands sliding up to tangle in his hair.

The kiss deepened, filled with all the longing and passion that had built up between you. Max's hands roamed down your back, pulling you closer, as if afraid you'd disappear if he let go.

You broke the kiss, breathless, and looked into his eyes. "Max, we need to talk about this."

He nodded, his forehead resting against yours. "I know. But right now, I just want you. Is that okay?"

You answered by kissing him again, your lips moving with an urgency that matched his. The tension and passion swirled around you, making it impossible to think clearly.

As the minutes turned into hours, you found yourselves tangled together on the couch, the intensity of your make-out session leaving you both breathless and wanting more.

-----------

The next morning, you woke up wrapped in Max's arms. He looked down at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Morning," he murmured.

"Morning," you replied, stretching. "About last night..."

He kissed your forehead. "I meant every word. I want to be with you."

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you. "I want that too, Max."

Just then, your mother knocked on the door, interrupting the moment. "[Your name], Max, breakfast is ready."

You sighed, reluctantly pulling away from Max. "Coming, Mom!"

As you made your way downstairs, Aaron was already at the table, chatting with your families. He looked up, a curious expression on his face. "Morning, [your name] Did you sleep well?"

You felt Max's hand on the small of your back, a silent claim. "Yes, thank you," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

Aaron's gaze flickered to Max's hand, then back to you. "So, about that trip to town..."

Max's grip tightened slightly. "Actually, we're still planning to visit that secluded beach today."

You shot Max a look, then turned to Aaron. "Maybe another time, Aaron. But thank you."

Aaron smiled, but there was a hint of disappointment in his eyes. "Of course. Enjoy your day."

-----------

The drive to the secluded beach was filled with a mix of comfortable silence and playful banter. Once there, you and Max spread out a blanket on the sand, the sound of the waves creating a serene backdrop.

As you sat together, Max took your hand, his thumb tracing circles on your skin. "I can't believe how quickly things have changed," he said softly.

You leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his body. "Maybe it was always meant to be this way."

He looked at you, his eyes filled with emotion. "I don't want to waste any more time. I want us to be together, for real."

You smiled, your heart swelling with happiness. "I want that too, Max. More than anything."

He leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that promised a future filled with love and passion. As the sun set over the horizon, you knew that this was just the beginning of your journey together, and you couldn't wait to see where it would lead.

----------

And...that's it I think I will write part 2...tell me what do you think..byee

[yan-lorkai]

Hello! How would yandere twst react to the fact that reader cannot get pregnant in any way, and thinks that she has infertility, but how did it turn out later that it was yandere who suffer from infertility? How hurt will they be by the fact that they will not be able to give what reader wants, who is now demanding an end to their marriage due to their infertility and has already found herself a new candidate by making contact with him?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Hii anonie! I wasn't sure if you wanted all the characters from the babytrap hcs so I just picked Malleus and Leona, but let me know if you wanted the others too I'm more than happy to write them! :D

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, Infertility and talk about pregnancy/children, imprisonment, possessiveness, malleus using his UM

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Malleus is determined to try a thousand times if need be, the thought of building a family still circling his mind as he hopes to get you pregnant this time. Several factors may be preventing you from getting pregnant such as stress, lack of vitamins or health problems, so Malleus changes your routine to a calmer one and brings the royal doctors to you to find out what the problem is.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Even though he's a little delusional, Malleus can see that maybe there's a problem he didn't foresee: you're infertile. But even if you're infertile he still loves you dearly, if you can't have kids biologically then he's sure maybe you could adopt.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ But when does he find out you're not infertile? Malleus doesn't quite know how to feel, he knows that it only means one thing and that the problem is him. And the world trembles under his feet, the sky is swept clean of any sign of the sun as thunder crashes to the earth, Malleus hadn't considered the hypothesis that he might be infertile and even though royal doctors talk about this or that, he doesn't catch a single word. He can't, he can't give you what you want, he can't fulfill his role as a husband and he fears your reaction to his hypothesis.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ That night he comes to lie beside you, quiet, and he holds you tenderly against his chest, stroking your sides and looking at you like it's the first time he's really seen you. And he shares his suspicions about his infertility with you, watching each expression pass over your face, expecting you to yell at him and storm out of the room, but you don't. You stay there and you both tremble in each other's embrace, and Malleus thinks for a second that maybe you don't care either and that maybe nothing will change in your relationship.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ But as time goes by he realizes that this is not the case. And one day he enters your shared room to notice that your bags are packed and that you intend to leave, Malleus doesn't need you to tell him why, he knows, deep down he knows why you're leaving him. And he feels a terrible pain go through him, especially when you tell him how you've been exchanging letters with another man and that you didn't want to be with him anymore. And if Malleus were just a little less selfish, maybe he would have let you go and live your dream of having a child, but he can't think of that and he loves you too much to give you up, so he puts you to sleep with his magic, trapped forever inside your own body.

⠀⠀⠀

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Leona feels that he has failed you and him, especially if you have high expectations of having a child with him. No matter how many times you try, none of the attempts are fruitful and he can hear the servants' mean comments in the corridors, he can see what those whispers and giggles do to you. Until one day, his mother suggests that one of the two of you may have some problem that prevents you from conceiving and Leona is terrified of the thought. He could grunt and murmur that Cheka bothers him, but he wanted a child and when you married him Leona imagined what that child would be like, would they have your eyes or your smile? Would they be as beautiful and graceful as you?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Knowing that maybe they can't be born because one of you is infertile breaks his heart as much as yours, but he stands strong to support you during this delicate time as you visit the medical wing.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ And honestly, the confirmation that he was infertile leaves him stunned and afraid, as if he were just going to be a hated boy again and that no one believed he was worth anything. And he knows well the look of disappointment that passes over your face and it hurts him more than he lets on, he would expect this from anyone but you, this is not something he can control but maybe there is a treatment or something he can do. And he starts to plan as the two of you return to your room.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He knows as he watches you spend time with Cheka or other kids that this is something you wanted to experience and something you won't be able to have if you stay with him, he knows that at some point you'll leave or maybe stay long enough until your relationship deteriorates. He just didn't expect it to hurt so much when it happened, with you throwing divorce papers in his face while announcing loud and clear that you're leaving, that there is another man in your heart who can give you what you want and how you've been exchanging letters with him this whole time. But he can't let you go, no matter how much you scream or cry or how much you run from him, you're his and there's nothing you can do or anyone to turn to for help.

[kusin-tisdag]

Smith-Grunt

Jill Smith (83) - Buck Grunt (82) (After this, Jill and Buck passed away. Little did they know that their small house would be moved into by three young girls, determined to solve the Strangerville-mystery...)

Jill and Buck were quite young when everything began happening.

Buck had fought with his father and brothers since he was a kid. At the age of 16, he moved out and over to Jill’s. They were soon high school sweethearts and were busy being teenagers when things started happening over at the lab. They heard rumors that the Beakers (they were so creepy) had held a boy there, and their own children!

Not long after, Jill’s brother Johnny and Ophelia left. It was years later that she heard from them.

And then Olive disappeared. Maybe it was an omen?

Just as Jill and Buck welcomed their daughter Lyla - their Strangetown just went up in flames. Something happened over at the lab - killing the Beakers, Buck’s father and brothers Tank and Ripp; and Jill’s uncles Pascal, Vidcunt and Lazlo. 

Leaving only Jill's parents and younger cousin Tycho.

Grief struck over those who were still alive.

And they couldn’t stay, the air was too polluted. So Jill took her aging parents, her husband, her cousin and her daughter and moved. They named the place Strangerville and hoped to rebuild something here. They welcomed baby Notzo not long after.

Buck Grunt

It was perhaps a weird twist of fate that he too ended up in the military. But honestly, where else to find a job after everything had changed?

And maybe it was a way to honor his dad and brothers. As much as they had fought over the years, they had still been family.

Buck had to focus on his own family there for a while. Jill's cousin Tycho wasn't doing too great after the death of her father and uncles. And with Lyla and eventually Notzo, they had their hands full. Sure, Jill's parents tried to help, but they too weren't doing too great.

Jill built them a home, but Buck was then the one who managed to focus on the here and now. He took a job, raised the family and was a stability to Jill when she couldn't stop her mind for trying to find answers.

Sometimes, Buck figured, there were none to be given.

And so he had raised the kids, gone to work and tried to start over. Though he had to give it to Jill - those weird plants that started showing up around 25 years ago did freak him out a bit. And yes, he too had noticed how people acted so strange now and then...

Jill Smith

She's old, but that doesn't stop her. Lately, Jill has realized that even though everything had seemed like it ended in Strangetown, something new is happening here in Strangerville. Or is it connected?

When they moved here they had to build from the ground. People moved here from all over SimNation - most came from Del Sol Valley or Oasis Springs (as they are the closest areas). People who weren't afraid of the new and unknown.

The military had come too of course. Those first years they passed outside Jill and Buck's home almost daily - Jill assumed they had to see what had happened over at Strangetown. Jill and Buck had to give testimonies, but over the years the talk of Strangetown stopped.

However, it was as if Strangerville inherited so much of Strangetown. Here she found herself once again surrounded by scientists and military personnel. She understood that a new lab had been opened. She tried to figure out what they did, but both she and Buck found their questions unwelcome.

And she didn't like that Roswell-family. Now Ted was Mayor, after his father's passing. But both Senior and Junior had something to do with that lab over there. Sure, Ted had only been 19 when the spores came, but Jill was certain he knew more - and probably knew something about why that lab closed...

And then, new scientists had shown up, and with them the conspiracy theorists. She had to give it to them, and their online forums - there was a lot of theories and sometimes some good facts to be found there.

But now she has to rest. She is old, and she knows she probably won't live to find all the answers she's looking for.

[iceswords]

Garden, Finch And A Trial

with everything else figured out from the watchmaker's legacy to gallagher's true identity, the only thing left was to find out what happened to mikhail and thus here yanqing was again at timesplit square. it was hard to not notice the new building -

- that had appeared after the astral express crew passed through dreamflux reef as yanqing walked up from the stairs from slumber town and headed towards it's direction. stopping in the middle of the flower design on the pavement gound where the tombstones lay.

" you wanted to find mikhail." came gallagher's voice causing yanqing to look over at him with a sour expression as he crossed his arms. the lieutenant was a little bit upset over having been lied to. while normally a thirty year old looking man couldn't possibly be thirteen years of age, there were the pepeshi running around and it can be hard to determine whether or not someone is the age they claim with how many different short life and long life species there are on penacony.

gallgeher nodded his head towards the fore mentioned building, not paying any mind to how yanqing was reacting to him as it was quite warranted. " there's where he'll be- his final resting place." he informed the boy as he was very aware of how close misha and yanqing had gotten.

" what exactly happened though?" yanqing decided to ask after practically glaring the man down. there was no more reason for gallgeher to keep lying now. nobody seems to be acknowledging misha as the watchmaker's grandson. was that because nobody else knows about that? was it something yanqing only learned from talking to misha and spending so much time with him?

most likely yet still the idea that the oh-so precious legacy mikhail had left behind could be anything other than misha was.. yeah, no. it was obviously misha. everybody else was just too far behind to realize it yet. it doesn't seem like a lot of people paid attention to misha in general. " I'm sure you get the guist of it. mikhail got into a disagreement with the family, mikhail left and never returned."

" yeah. I know. left misha behind." yanqing replied and shook his head at the very mention of what mikhail did. he didn't care much for mikhail but misha had been hurt by the man's actions, " but I was also thinking he left the planet yet you're saying that he's been sleeping up there this whole time."

" oh?" gallagher placed a hand to his chin as he looked down at the boy with interest, " so I take it you're of the opinion misha is the watchmaker's legacy then. quite the nice sentiment."

" I get that mikhail didn't get along with the family but.. did he really have to leave misha like that? his actual family." perhaps it was more personal for yanqing because he knew misha and perhaps the lieutenant related to the feeling of having been abandoned by your own flesh and blood. yanqing often got emotional whenever he watched a movie or show about an child who had lost their parents somehow and either were living on their own or ended up with terrible caretakers.

he paused and took a breath. wouldn't want to get too worked up or else yanqing would wake up. he looked up and out at the garden. he wondered if misha had ever gone up to see his grandfather yet.

" hmm.. afraid that is a question I can't answer but you are free to check it out for yourself, lieutenant." gallgeher informed and that was exactly what yanqing did. having to walk up quite the few stairs to reach the tranquil garden and then a few more to get to the gazebo like stature where mikhail sat in his wheelchair.

yanqing almost wanted to shake the old man awake yet when his eyes landed on him.. he knew that mikhail was long gone now. giving one of the wheels of the chair a kick out of frustration. " listen to me, old man. I don't care about your stupid stellaron or that stupid bubble you're holding.” lashing out at a person who couldn't even hear him. it was the only thing yanqing could do in that moment as whatever was inside the bubble could only ever hold any significance or meaning to the nameless and yanqing wasn't one of them, “did you really think some petty disagreement was more important than your own grandson!?”

before yanqing could kick at the wheel chair anymore, he would feel arms grab him under the armpits and pull him away though yanqing continued to yell at the dead man, “ coward! didn't even die an honorable death! just slept away up here in your dang wheelchair. " if yanqing had something to throw at the ‘asleep’ mikhail, he would even as he was being held back by arlan. “ could you stop it already? you don’t need yet another charge put against you.” the security guard noted as he stood there almost as tiff as a board and with feet practically rooted into the ground. they really didn’t need yanqing to throw off the handle again. it was much too much energy, frustration- yanqing didn’t feel as sunny as usual but there was still a fire in him. one that was currently being fuelled by so many different emotions and some of those emotions were new to yanqing. he just wanted to do.. something. put all this information and energy to good use somewhere.

once arlan knew that yanqing wasn’t going to do anything towards the sleeping old man, that was when he finally let go of him allowing the lieutenant to see who had decided to follow him up to the garden. he could see down below misha anxiously cleaning up the place, mumbling himself as he likely hadn’t come here before and looked nervous to see his grandfather again. huohuo without her tail had also been present in dreamflux reef and upon seeing a familiar face in yanqing likely had followed him up here. “ uh, um.. lieutenant yanqing. is-is this a g-good time to mention that.. somebody wants to talk to you? he said to tell you to meet him in the church later.” came her quiet and timid voice as she reached to ling onto her tail only to frown and look about ready to cry when she remembered that it was no longer there, opting to ling onto her skirt instead. “ yeah. the key word there being later. did he happen to say when this ‘later’ was?” yanqing asked the girl, knowing he would have to be a little more patient and gentle with her- just because of how huohuo naturally was but also because of the recent loss of mr tail. “ no.” huohuo answered with her foxian ears pointed down and her eyes drifting away as if feeling guilty from not having any useful information to give to the lieutenant while the lieutenant merely looked over her shoulder down at the hellhop for a moment before stepping over to the top of the stairs and deciding to call out to the boy, “ doing great, qīn'ài de!” that bellhop really needed some positive reinforcement, perking up upon hearing yanqing’s voice whilst huohuo heard the affectionate term the lieutenant used for misha and looked over in slight confusion, “ q-qīn’ai de..?” though yanqing’s focus was more on misha and watching his reaction therefore arlan had to ask her what that term meant before explaining the situation to her.

misha looked so pleased with himself after getting that stamp of approval even though he didn’t really understand what yanqing just called him, he could hear the tone of voice and get an idea that it was something sweet and nice. this positive reinforcement from yanqing would continue to go on while arlan and huohuo had their discussion about what has been happening and what huohuo missed. “ what happened to your tail?” arlan asked at one point certain that foxians usually had both a tail and ears whilst huohuo only had the ears but that question only caused the girl to burst out into tears. arlan panicked in reply as he tried to find some way to calm her down or undo the damage he just did without even knowing the context of why it was making her so upset. “ bad arlan! you never ask a lady about her physical appearance- has nobody told you that? also, misha, you can take a break now- spotless job as always!” yanqing scolded one boy and praised the other.

“ I am certain I have seen you ask a lady the same kind of question, yanqing, you egotistical hypocrite!” replied arlan.

“ knowing and doing are two different things.” retorted yanqing.

“ h-hey! don’t call the lieutenant that!” cried huohuo who was more crying over her own issues than what arlan called yanqing and yanqing picked up on this as he watched her and debated if it would be right for him to comfort her when he couldn’t do anything about what happened to mr tail. in the end yanqing decided to pull out his flute and play a little tune that always relaxed any orphan he came across as the group found somewhere in the garden to sit down. misha having curled up in yanqing’s lap. it was a calm and peaceful garden and the longer yanqing stayed there, the less he found himself blaming mikhail for choosing this as his final resting place yet he could never forgive the man for what he had put misha through no matter how long the lieutenant stayed in that garden. and all the while in the back of his mind, yanqing was thinking about the man who asked for his arrival in the church and wondered if it would be a good idea to go- could it have been sunday? that man was a priest or something, right? did he want yanqing to confess to his ‘sins’? or perhaps yanqing finally had gotten a bounty on his head and a galaxy ranger was coming to collect? he always wanted to meet a galaxy ranger! heroes who fought for what they believed in but unfortunately that acheron woman hadn’t truly been one of them. huohuo continued to sniffle but had slowly started to stop crying while arlan awkwardly stood on guard and watched for any disturbances while having an ear out for the tune that yanqing played as it seemed to not be that bad.

eventually yanqing decided to go out to see who had asked for him and what he could have wanted. walking into the place and immediately being greeted by church music that was in line with the path of the harmony but only managed to irritate the cloud knight. it would appear to not yet be time for his dual or trial as many people were present ranging from locals to guests- guests ranging from the pepeshi to the more mechanical lifeforms. yanqing stepped to the side, staying out of people’s way while not getting involved in what felt to him like a cult gathering. he would spot sunday up in the front beyond the rows of benches and talking.. about the harmony. how the harmony arrived in penacony and changed it into what it was today. that the harmony was what guided the family. he would also catch a glimpse of what appeared be a cyborg cowboy who was currently doing about the same thing as yanqing but instead the cowboy had found himself somewhere in the benches to sit with hat covering his face so that nobody knew if he was shut down or sleeping whilst sunday’s preaching and talking went on.

those were two of yanqing’s potential opponents- a bucket of bolts and bullets or a pigeon cooing - that sounded more like squeaking in yanqing’s ears - as loud as he can about the harmony. which one will be the one to strike first was left to be determined as yanqing waited until the church session was over and everyone else left.. leaving only yanqing and the cowboy in the room by themselves. a galaxy ranger and a cloud knight. putting these two in a room together was just asking for trouble as yanqing rested a hand on the helt of his sword, waiting to see what the cowboy will do. his yellow ember eyes were trained on the older man who eventually pulled out his gun and pointed it at the lieutenant who in turn withdrew his sword and pointed the tip of the blade at the cowboy.

silence continued to linger for a second longer until yanqing let out a prideful huff as he smirked to himself, “ what? I thought this was just how galaxy rangers said hello.”

yanqing walked out into the wide space of the church, restricted only by the benches that left enough room to crawl and hide for cover if the cowboy ever started to fire his gun at him yet the boy remained calm and vigilant with the tip of his sword still pointed at the cowboy. it was like the boy was in the middle of a western flim in which he arrived to a gunfight with a sword. typically you think that decision unwise but yanqing was quite efficient with the blade and felt confident that he could handle this with just his swords as he finally felt that his ice swords could finally pierce their way into the memoria and enter the dream.

the cowboy let out an amused chuckle at the boy as the barrel of his gun followed yanqing’s movements. “ really gettin’ friendly now, aren’t we?” the man remarked in reply and it wouldn’t be long now before the cowboy pulled the trigger and bullet went flying at yanqing who was able to move and think quickly within a second and slice the bullet in half. the dual had finally started as ice swords flew around the room, positioning themselves in a way that the cowboy had no where to run or hide- acting in a way similar to birds of prey as they watched for the man’s movements. the cowboy would shot a bullet at one of these ice swords only for the bullet to bounce off the icy cold blade and off to another resulting in few of the floating swords to end up playing a game of tennis or ping pong with each other using the bullet as the ball. at one point the game became hot potato until one sword decided to toss the bullet back to the cowboy who simply caught the bullet with his mouth and ate it before starting to go for the master of these swords who was floating off the ground now.

both yanqing and boothill were quick on their feet and able to dodge, block or counter attack each other’s strikes until yanqing summoned up the largest ice sword he could and send it flying down at the cowboy, wanting to see what he would do with that. he was filled with adrenaline and was currently raving off of the dopamine and vibrant firecracker-like signals in his brain that just kept going off one after the other. the dual only ended when a door opened and yanqing watched as the cowboy’s eyes looked over for a split second allowing the boy to get close enough to have the tip of his blade at the man’s throat. yanqing breathing in and out with sweat dripping off his forehead while a smirk slowly crossed his figures at having seemingly gotten the upper hand when boothill held up a finger for him to wait as sunday walked into the room from somewhere in the back and had a sour look on his face as if disappointed that the two had gotten into a fight but yanqing would soon realize that their fight had made a mess of the interior of the church.

“ oh. yes. it seems you have.. bonded in a way. have a good discussion while I was away? good, good.” sunday spoke using words to make it seem like he cared but yanqing knew better than that. the pastor didn’t even wait for either of them to answer his question before snapping his fingers and the damage that the two hunt pathstriders had caused was undone. not only that but yanqing soon found himself sitting in one of the benches, unaware of how he got there and without his sword this time while his ice swords had vanished.

boothill meanwhile was placed in a bench far away from the boy to keep the two from fighting again. as if distance would stop that. “ I have summoned you both here.. for a confession. if that confession leads to a trial, so be it. you will both be given your time to privately speak with me. any questions?”

“ yeah.. how does this ‘confession’ thing work exactly?” asked yanqing who had never been in a church even a day in his life until that day. sunday only shook his head to show any annoyance he had about the boy’s question before carefully considering how to answer it in a way that would make sense to the young boy, “ do you see that brown box behind me? that is a confession box. I sit in one side and you sit in the other. you speak, I listen and give guidance. anything you say in the box will not leave the box unless I deem what you said suggests danger towards yourself or others. do you understand, lieutenant?” he explained to yanqing who did his best to listen and take in the information before nodding in reply when sunday asked him if he understood, having looked over to the confession box in question when it was pointed out to him in the explanation.

“ what if.. we don’t want to confess?” was yanqing’s follow up question to which he would hear the cowboy give up a ‘oohh! that’s a good one’ as neither of the two were very thrilled about the concept of confessing to the man. “ fine. you can sit in silence if you wish but not saying anything at all may make things much more harder for you than lying if you wish for me to.. get off your back.” sunday had answered, “ but please do not think to lie to me. I will know. do not ask how, lieutenant, I simply will. and no, I am not reading your mind. please remain seated here until I call for you.” and when sunday was done explaining that, he would turn on heel and head into his side of the confession box.. letting the two sit in silence for a moment or two longer. an attempt to teach the both of them some patience.

yanqing chose to investigate his side of the church but found himself unable to stand up from the bench but could still move around of his own accord otherwise, looking along the books and papers that were kept in some kind of shelf on the back of the bench in front of him. many of the books were harmony textbooks, some were advertisements for soulglad or some toy or a line of clothing and some were pamphlets for therapy or dealing with mental illness. how to overcome imposter syndrome was on one of the covers of such pamphlets and another read stop buying so many swords! you have enough! but he also happened to spot a few books in the style of children’s stories. picked up one which cover featured birds- a charmony dove, a finch, a few pigeons and a swallow. he opened and flipped to the chapter on the swallow which graphically showcased the story of a swallow who grew up with lions and ended up getting eaten by the lions when it’s ground was let down.

yanqing became startled by the imagery and quickly closed the book before rushingly shoving it back into the little shelving unit. he really wanted his dad right now.. but instead took in a breath and pulled himself together. he can handle whatever this was. " hey, kid, you good?" came the cowboy's voice who had seen the boy's reaction to whatever he was seeing and started to become a little worried.

" what does it matter to you, sharkman?" the boy retorted doing his best to act tough but you could see the way he was shaking, exhausted from the fight and now dealing with whatever mental game sunday was putting him through.

" it matters because you're shakin' like a leaf!" replied boothill who would soon think more on what yanqing said before cackling, " sharkman.. good one." causing the boy to lighten up a little and smile. boothill would see this and sit up more straight. " you did real good back there. never seen swords play ping-pong with my bullet before and you were.. real fast. where'd you learn that from?" he asked in attempt to distract yanqing from whatever was bothering the boy since boothill knew that the boy had a lot of fun in that duel.

" I.. well. I was taught by general jing yuan but I've been getting into a lot of sparrs or fights with different people. it is important to pick up techniques from every encounter you have- learn at least something. that's how you become a better warrior!" yanqing enthusiastically explained to the old man, quickly switching from a defensive yet slightly frightened kitten into a excited little lion cub. still a kitten either way but now more happy and prideful.

" hah! that's right!" exclaimed boothill watching as the young boy practically shine with pride as yanqing stood up straight with chest puffed out and arms crossed. it seems the distraction was working. who knew when sunday would call for one of them though, " general jing yuan though.. I heard that name before. it's the fella that runs that rufou flagship, right? haven't had the pleasure of meetin' the man yet but he sure as hell raised a good kid here. gettin' into a little bit of trouble is natural for someone your age, don't worry too much about that."

hearing a complete stranger who had become more of a friend now that the two bonded, yanqing couldn't help but feel reassured by the older's words of praise and admiration. being told that you are a good boy was never something one could grow tired of hearing no matter how many times yanqing hears it in one day.

still.. hearing it from an outsider's perspective was even more rewarding because boothill didn't hold the same expectations or views of yanqing as any back on the xianzhou luofu would have. " boothill. it is time." came sunday's voice to interrupt their conversation and now finally boothill found himself able to stand, giving final words to the boy before heading into the other side of the confession box.

it was silent for a few seconds before suddenly the confession box exploded with shouts and screaming as whatever sunday had said offended boothill and in turn boothill started to throw insults at sunday as it seemed boothill's weapon had been taken from him too. a sweat drop and sigh, yanqing would pull up his phone and text jing yuan.

yanqing would look over the message he wrote out for a second or two, taking in a breath and letting it out before deciding to click send. and within moments he would see those three dots indicating that jing yuan was typing out a reply and soon that reply followed.

yanqing looked over the reply, reading the words and taking it in. calling jing yuan dad wasn't something that the boy normally did- this was something that jing yuan was fully aware of and hence the mere term being used was something akin to sending a flare, an sos as the boy felt scared and needed reassurance. boothill had helped of course but yanqing really needed his dad.. especially after reading that chapter about the swallow and lions.

his eyes eventually just stared at 'I will wait outside' as he took in deep breaths and tried to relax. didn't want to wake up just yet - not that whatever spell sunday casted would allow the boy to wake anyway. yanqing had the comfort of knowing jing yuan would be outside the church when it was time to leave. that was good enough for now when suddenly- " lieutenant yanqing." sunday's voice called out causing yanqing to look up and notice that boothill had left the building entirely.

he would pocket his phone, take another breath as he stood up and headed towards the confession box. no more door on the confessor's side of the box as it appeared that boothill somehow broke it at some point and therefore yanqing merely stepped in and sat down, placing hands on his lap.

sunday gave the boy another moment to adjust before speaking up to start them off, " through me, the harmony speaks and through me, the harmony listens. speak now, child, and speak honestly. of whatever troubles you."

it didn't exactly help to know that an aeon was using the older man's body to listen in on yanqing. he thought this was supposed to be private and yanqing didn't exactly believe in the aeon of harmony. he was on the path of the hunt. " that children's story book.. you should have known that I would see it." the boy started with a side eye at sunday through the window that separated man and boy, " the one about the birds. were you tormenting me? it had your fingers all over it. or well.. your thoughts anyway."

" right now I am a vessel for the harmony." sunday calmly answered void of all emotion or expression as if he truly was possessed by a divine being or devil, completely ignoring the boy's antagonising demeanor and focusing on giving words of advice, " I cannot speak on my own thoughts but it is clear you have suspicions and doubts towards me. perhaps you should ask yourself why you see only evil in my intentions. do you have any evil within yourself? I can assure you that the harmony only wishes to help you.. to guide you.. towards a better path or at least to the more correct path for you."

yanqing squinted at the man with some both confusion and annoyance. mind games were quite tiring and frustrating to be in the middle of. yanqing didn't like them at all but here he was again.. " I am on the correct path for me." two can play at this mind game. aventurine showed him how and yanqing found out the hard way who not to play this game with, "perhaps you should ask yourself why you allow an aeon to control your actions and words. do you not trust your own judgment? I trust mine. my judgement has served me quite well so far." yanqing responded to the questions with his own. all honest. all as straightforward and direct as yanqing liked it to be.

yanqing's mind and tongue having grown to become as quick and sharp as his sword. he could see a hint of irritation on sunday's face at the deflection and smirked to himself. either he was annoying sunday himself or yanqing just managed to annoy the harmony THEMSELF. a win on yanqing's part no matter which it was though.

" yes. so well that you ran upon the bloodhounds catching scent of your dishonour. aren't you ashamed as a xianzhou native, as a warrior? your word is your bond yet you were willing to break it upon entering penacony." sunday spoke.

" yes and with my judgement, I have found a way to restore that honour. I found the true legacy of the watchmaker. " yanqing revealed knowing full well that the man wouldn't be able to tell anyone about this, " you want to know what it is, right? I can't tell you that. I gave my word that I wouldn't spoil anything for others."

" how considerate of you, lieutenant yanqing." sunday spoke calmly yet you could see his eyebrow begin to twitch a little when the boy spoke about the watchmaker's legacy. clearly feeling somewhat annoyed that the boy took full advantage of the anything-being-said-in-the-box-not-leaving-the-box deal that they made earlier. " it does appear that you have truly reflected on your actions and had endured the consequences yet you haven't been punished enough- not for entering the golden hour. something has been letting a few children slip in unnoticed.." he explained to the boy before shaking his head, " no. you did not do that. "

that smirk of yanqing's slowly faded as he started to see the effects of angering an aeon as it felt as though all the lights in the church went out. the door on the ground flying up and closing yanqing in the confinement he now found himself in. it felt much smaller because of that.. the only source of light was sunday's halo and some kind of rainbow and bright white rays that was coming off of the man. " you.. you have caused much more trouble in the past, haven't you? yet you never seem to learn.. to truly learn." the halovain's voice almost echoed into what could have been the vacuum of space itself right now if yanqing couldn't feel the seat he sat on and his fingers didn't claw at and ling to the wooden walls of his side of the confession box.

holding on for dear as if the box would suddenly spin around and drop yanqing into the middle of no where. he couldn't even look at sunday now- much too much light. it was nearly blinding. " I'm sorry- I'm sorry- please don't be mad!" came the boy's pleas for forgiveness as he found himself terrified for his life, " let me out of here! sorry sorry sorry sorry-" he kept on repeating that one word until eventually it didn't even sound like a word anymore but yanqing didn't know what else to do as he watched as the rainbow and white light moved away from him and soon the boy was left in the darkness. in nothingness.

it was hard to tell where he even was anymore.. was it still that church? yanqing was trapped, that's all he knew. he clawed, kicked, punched and did everything he could to get out but nothing was working as he balled his eyes out. maybe.. maybe sunday would come back. no, he couldn't count on that man. all yanqing could hope for was that he was still in the church and jing yuan would be able to hear him.

" dad! daaaddd!! come get me, I'm scared! can you hear me?" yanqing eventually stopped apologizing and just kept calling out to his father who he truly hoped would come running to help him and eventually.. the blade of the ever so familiar spar sliced the box open allowing the boy to run out, be picked up and held in the arms of the man who raised him.

yanqing cried himself even more exhausted within those seven system hours of being put into a 'time out' by sunday. laying head on jing yuan's chest and falling to an even deeper sleep as jing yuan held him close and carried him out of there.

[commehter]

Does nobody ask questions about your fics here?? despite the links? Anyways, here from AO3, and curious about your 'The Spirit Tale of Fire Lord Ozai' fic. I'm curious about what Iroh thinks of the extremely dramatic shift in personality Zu-Ozai has displayed.

To be fair, the links are fairly new. My previous policy was simply to avoid spoilers entirely, but I realized recently that tumblr might be a platform that would allow me to talk worldbuilding and such without posting spoilers where they could be as easily stumbled over as the comments section directly attached to the AO3 story in question.

Now then, on to your real question!

Iroh assumes most of the changes he sees are spirit work and Zu-Ozai has encouraged that conclusion in a few instances. His brother's newly revealed knowledge of his borderline treasonous activities with and for the White Lotus terrifies him, and Zu-Ozai's decision to thus far spare him likewise frightens him because he has no explanation for it that he trusts. (Agni hasn't been particularly protective of him, and Iroh doesn't know of any other spirit that might be, either. So, spirit intervention isn't an excuse he can apply to cover that particular conundrum.) He's suspicious and curious over the 'reforging' he has heard mentioned time and again, but he has not had success in researching it. (And he won't, as long as he is going off human records, as it is a practice solely among spirits. The closest instances to a reforging (involving a mortal body) before Zu-Ozai are the Avatar's creation/reincarnation and Tui's gift to Yue shortly after her birth. Agni is pulling a seriously experimental stunt -- and La is lurking in the background waiting for it to fail because the pessimist fish has no faith.)

I also have some worldbuilding going on in the background that hasn't come up in fic. I'll go into further detail in the following sentences, but the big takeaway is that Iroh never knew Ozai well enough to notice a good chunk of the differences between his original brother and Zu-Ozai. I'm running with the idea that there is a large age-gap between the brothers. 17 years, to be precise. I'm also playing with the idea that Iroh and Ozai could have been half-brothers. They're not 'estranged' because they've never been close to begin with. By the time Ozai (the spare, so to speak) was born, Iroh was a late-teens boy chasing after pretty girls. Interactions with his step-mother had always been awkward (she dies during childbirth, btw) and Iroh was no less uncertain about going from an only child to the drastically older brother of an infant upon Ozai's arrival into the world. There's never a demand placed on him to have much to do with the younger prince and so he more or less ignores his brother's existence for several years. It's about the time Iroh and his wife are expecting Lu Ten that he starts to show any substantial interest in Ozai, who is 11-12 by then, but even so, Iroh is building his own family and Ozai remains at the edges of it.

Since losing first his wife, and then later his son, followed by his father, Iroh has re-evaluated how he views familial ties and their importance. Upon returning to the Fire Nation after his year-long wandering, he chose not the fight for the throne but Ozai still kept him at a distance that made Azulon seem like a warm man. Azula, of course, followed her father's example. And so Zuko, likewise lonely and rejected, is the only one with whom Iroh has had any success fostering a familial bond with -- though that is still limited because Zuko desperately wants his father's approval and Ozai never hid how little he thinks of Iroh.

Then the Agni Kai goes sideways and suddenly Ozai is persistently, aggressively, unrelentingly determined to seek Iroh out for his company, council, and assistance, going so far as to argue with Agni over an oath made to win Iroh's trust. He's rightly suspicious of the change in personality, but he also can't help the desperate and selfish hope growing in his battered heart that he might be able to reclaim what's left of his family. (To say nothing of what these changes would/will mean for the White Lotus and the wider world.)

To sum it all up, Iroh is torn between his doubts and desires, leaving him cautiously hopeful, terribly confused, and scared out of his mind. He's lost a lot of family and is going with the flow right now because, until he has more information and a chance to catch his breath, he doesn't know what else to do.

Back to SToFLO on AO3 or Royal Road.

[fearxtoxfreedom]

NAME : Heino AGE : 25 GENDER : Male SEXUALITY : Bisexual ENERGY : Sorcery HEIGHT : 183 см REGION : Sunset IDENTITY : Head of The Fate Clan QUOTE : "Cold and emotionless - What's wrong with that?"

WORLD CONNECTIONS :

DOILA : Perhaps a bit too cheerful and loves helping others, but always ends up causing more trouble because she doesn't know any better. She feels familiar somehow, even though they've never met before... MARCO POLO : To Heino, Marco Polo's always laughing, easily intrigued by new things, and great at getting the party going, but he never ever lets on when he's feeling down. Heino hopes that he will be able to find his father soon. MILADY : An aggressive but sensible ruler who's revived the fortunes of the Hightower clan. Heino can't seem to get a good read on her, thus he often treads carefully when dealing with her. ALLAIN : An extremely rare find. After all, where else in Navenia can one find a mercenary that helps others at the cost of his meals? ALESSIO : Heino views him as a fool, one who goes to great lengths to protect the Outer City all because of a borrowed name. Foolish though he may be, he's much better company than the local nobles. BIRON : Contrary to most, Heino doesn't see Biron as a fool. In fact, this mercenary who carries on even after losing his arm is far wiser and greater than those Inner City braggarts who only know how to show off. MAYENE : Although she keeps saying that she doesn't want to be a hero, she never holds back when it comes to certain people and issues. At this rate, she definitely won't be able to slack off. LUNA : Heino has heard of what happened to Luna's clan, and feels like she's no longer the person he used to know from the Lunari Clan. Luna's much colder and more practical now. KAIZER : Both Arkana nobles living in the Inner City, they've known each other since they were young. After a series of unfortunate events that fell upon their families, the two went their separate ways and have not met since.

BIOGRAPHY :

The Fate Clan had been away from the Navenian Council for so long, the people of Navenia may have forgotten what they used to be like. There was a time when the Fate Clan was one of the leading clans of Navenia who steered the kingdom with their ability to see the future. However, the ones who led the way met with sudden misfortune and were lost to the Deep Sea, and the stars have dimmed since then. When Heino was a child, the Scepter of Fate predicted that the Fate Clan was destined to fall. As a result, it was said by some that Heino was the ominous portent signalling the clan's downfall. If the fall of the clan was the likeliest possibility that an infinite future held, then Heino had been on the road to fighting fate alone ever since he had become the head of the clan as a young boy. Despite opposition from the rest of his clan, Heino made the decision to relocate Revelation Hall to the outskirts of the city to be more in touch with the common people and build prestige for the Fate Clan. In the face of competition from the other clans, he gave up most of their assets apart from a well-run restaurant and opera house which would serve as the clan's lifeline. Through this, he was able to save the Fate Clan from extinction, unlike the other Arkana clans. It was only then that everyone realized that the one with the so-called bad luck was actually the one they could trust and rely on the most. "I don't believe our fates are set in stone." "Fate" has never been about shackles that we can't escape. It is not the end, but the path we forge through in life. "Seeing thousands of possible fates as I walk the path of infinities." Heino firmly believes that outcomes can be reversed, and is determined to make the light of fate shine bright again.

[ndianaputri]

I must confess something thrilling—I finally spilled my heart out to my crush! But, here's the twist: he's actually my second crush. I've already let go of my first crush, realizing that he couldn't move on from his past. So, I knew my chances were slim, but I took the leap anyway.

Anyway, back to the confession. It went surprisingly well! When I confessed my feelings, his response was beyond my wildest dreams. He wanted to meet up! During our meeting, I made it clear that I wasn't pressuring him into anything serious, but he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me better. He even shared his desire to settle down someday, and I found myself thinking, "Well, maybe I could see myself settling down for someone like him."

But then our second meet-up was where things took a bit of a turn. He started to seem distant, especially in his texts. I couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with my family's home. You see, we don't live in the fanciest of homes; it's a modest place in the village. Perhaps he thinks I'm not the right fit for him because of it. It stung a little, I won't lie. I regretted letting him drive me home that day, allowing him a glimpse into my world. Normally, I'm fiercely protective of my family's privacy, but with him, I felt different. I wanted him to see the real me, despite my insecurities.

Our new home is still under construction. My parents are finally starting to stabilize after putting all their efforts into supporting my siblings through their studies. I've been pitching in financially to help build our dream house, the one we've been waiting for for so long. It hurt to think that my crush might be judging me based on where I come from.

But you know what? That's precisely why I work my butt off and take my career so seriously. I want to change my family's financial situation and give us a home we can be proud of. I refuse to let anyone look down on us just because of our circumstances.

For now, though, I'll continue to admire him from afar. Maybe he'll come around and see the real me—the one who's determined to create a better future, not just for herself, but for her loved ones too. And if he doesn't, well, that's okay too. I'll keep working on myself and building a life that I'm proud of. Who knows? Maybe someday he'll realize what he's been missing. But if not, I'll be okay. After all, true love is worth the wait, even if it means waiting a little longer than expected.

To be true, I'm willing to wait, but the thought of him ending up with someone else still stings.

[rey-jake-therapist]

Lost Souls Chapter 10 (partly NSFW)

Chapter 9

If you missed the beginning

AO3 link

SUMMARY CHAPTER 10

Despite Mina's determination to keep their relationship platonic, Jake still hopes he can change her mind at some point. Simone manifests a strange curiosity towards the newcomer. Jake doesn't know how to behave with Tess, who doesn't seem willing to let him go. The day over, his desire for Mina keeps him awake….

Notes: the soundtrack for the NSFW end of this chapter is Artic Monkeys: I wanna be yours :)

When Jake returned to work that evening, he felt as light as a feather, just as he always did after spending time with his longtime friend and the light of his life, little Emily. He had loved her from the moment he first held her in his arms, as if she were his own... It was a strange feeling. Jake had always harbored a vague hope of building a family one day, but he often wondered what person, man or woman, would be crazy enough to choose him as the father of their children. And even if someone did, would he be a good dad? Jake's own memories of his father were vague; the man had died in an accident when Jake was just a boy. The only photo he had showed a tall, skinny man with a thick head of dark hair and slim lips curved in a confident smile, but it couldn't tell him what kind of father his dad had been.

Jake remembered his father teaching him to ride a bike, to fish and play baseball. He was a kind but strict man who never yelled, but he had a very low, almost guttural voice when he was upset; in such moments, he made Jake feel very small. But one day, he died in a car accident, followed by Jake's mother, who took her own life. Simone's father had become Jake's new father figure, but he hadn't wanted that role and never treated Jake as his son. He wasn't much of a father to Simone and her sister either, if he was being honest; he was always on the road for his job, and, according to Simone, he had a lover in every port.

Still, Jake sometimes thought it was probably nice to have a family, despite the complications.

Mina was already at her station when Jake arrived in the kitchen of the 22W, slightly out of breath. He noticed with surprise that she was reading a cocktail recipe book. During the lunch shift, Jake had teased her about her lack of knowledge in cocktail mixing, but he hadn't expected her to run to the nearest bookstore to buy a recipe book. Impressed, Jake couldn't resist letting a snarky comment slip out.

"Wow, you bought a book! Nice, but it won't teach you how to make a great cocktail like a real bartender."

Mina, still engrossed in her reading, didn't seem to hear him at first. She had her long hair tied back in a bun, but this time, a few loose locks escaping from the bun softened her features and highlighted the delicateness of her face. Jake had to resist the urge to reach out and touch one of those stray locks. After all, Mina had made it clear that she wanted their relationship to remain strictly platonic.

"True, it would be great to have a real bartender show me the tricks of the trade," Mina finally replied, her tone teasing. "But the one I know... he made it very clear that my questions annoyed him, so I thought I'd better teach myself."

Jake scoffed but defended himself, "What kind of help do you expect in the middle of a busy shift? We're swamped with orders from all sides; there's no time for lessons! If you come by later tonight, though, I'd be happy to teach you everything I know!"

As he finished his sentence, Jake realized how his offer might sound, especially after their last exchange in the locker room. He saw the way Mina was looking at him now, a smile playing on her lips, and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Hey, I'm serious! I'm not desperate, and I'm not trying to get you back in my bed... I'm not like our friend Will over here; I don't trade sex for job offers or... cocktail-making lessons!"

Mina furrowed her brow and glanced at Will, who looked more stressed out than ever, before silently mouthing, "Will, the manager? He does that?"

"He couldn't teach anyone to make a decent Cuba Libre," Jake muttered. As Mina looked at him with curiosity, he continued, "Tell me you know what a Cuba Libre is. Rum and coke?"

Mina looked slightly offended as she replied, "Of course, I know. I'm not stupid!" Yet, as she turned her eyes away, Jake briefly wondered whether she was being entirely truthful. He knew that if Howard found out that the woman who replaced Nick didn't even know the names of the most basic cocktails, he'd fire her without a second thought. Even bringing her recipe book into the restaurant was a risky move.

Before Jake could dwell too much on the situation, Mina pressed further, her voice carrying an unmistakable edge,

"I mean, does Will promise women a job in the restaurant in exchange for sex?"

Jake nodded with a nonchalant air. He had no qualms about throwing Will under the bus; everyone in the restaurant knew about that incident. They had witnessed him hitting on a girl in a bar one night and then seen the same girl hand in her job application, her hopeful eyes quickly turning to disappointment when she realized that Will had no real authority in the restaurant apart from barking orders at the staff.

"Yeah, he did it once after Howard made him manager," Jake admitted.

"Gross," Mina muttered, her eyes now shooting daggers at Will. Jake, amused, let out a brief chuckle.

"Cut the guy some slack. He saw an opportunity and took it! Besides, that girl used him just as much; it just didn't work out for her this time. She's fine."

Jake's response didn't sit well with Mina. Her outraged expression made it clear that he had just lost a significant number of points.

"She's fine? How do you know? Did you ask her how she felt, or are you just assuming? And for your information, it's not the same thing at all. He was the one with the power; she was the one looking for a job, maybe desperate to get it because she had a sick parent at home or loans to pay. Let me guess, you also think that street workers do what they do just because they love sex, so why not make some money out of it?"

Jake was rendered momentarily speechless, unable to find the right words to defuse the situation. He detested conflicts and typically tried to avoid them, especially when they had nothing to do with him. He could have easily brushed off the comment with a stony silence, and he probably would have done just that if it had come from anyone else. But unknowingly, Mina had struck a chord within him, and he couldn't let it go unanswered. A vivid image flashed before his eyes: the lifeless face of a friend, the memory of her battered body, the blood pooling from her wounds. He blinked rapidly to dispel the haunting image.

"Nah, I don't think that at all. Frankly, I didn't expect to be under feminist attack tonight, but I guess that's my damn karma," he retorted with a sly smile. "If you have an issue with what Will did, take it up with Will, not me. Now, I'm not sure if you're aware, but we've got work to do here."

Mina tilted her head and regarded him with an inscrutable expression in her eyes. Jake had a sinking feeling that it wasn't anything positive. However, he was determined not to let it bother him.

"I certainly do," she replied calmly, her eyes cold as ice. "As a matter of fact, I was just thinking that we need to chill some white wine. I'll go fetch some from the cellar."

Whatever Mina was feeling at the moment, she was exceptionally good at concealing it, Jake thought as she brushed past him without another word. Just before heading to the cellar, she shot a quick look back at him and added,

"As for my training, I think I can manage myself. The book should suffice."

Jake sighed, his thoughts drifting back to 'old Nick' - a man he was starting to miss. Nick was the veteran of the 22W, sporting an affable smile and a penchant for dad jokes. Jake had been deeply saddened to learn about Nick's wife Eileen's illness and hoped the doctors would find the right treatment soon. They had shared this secret conversation one evening when a few too many drinks had been consumed. Jake wished fervently for the doctors to find the right treatment for Eileen, a warm and lovely woman.

"Trouble brewing with your new coworker already?" A familiar voice asked. Jake, already irritated, threw a telling look at Simone, hoping it would convince her to stop asking questions; unfortunately his friend insisted, "I just offered her my help to find a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon in the cave, but she seemed very annoyed… What did you do to her?"

"Did you… need anything? Don't you have tables to dress or something?"

To Jake's satisfaction, Simone rolled her eyes. He knew that it wasn't her job to dress the tables, a task she considered unworthy of her status. And she hated Jake's jokes.

"She's interesting, this girl… Howard said she worked for one of the best restaurants in L.A. Her knowledge of wine is undeniable and her behavior with the customers is impeccable - at least at lunch it was -  but there's something about her that's… " As she wouldn't finish her sentence, Jake asked impatiently,

"That's… what?"

"I don't know, something's fishy! Though 'intriguing' would be a better word to qualify her. I'd like to know her!" Simone announced with a cheerful voice. She sounded as thrilled as if she was preparing herself for a visit to the Museum of curiosities. Jake, who didn't share at all her enthusiasm, winced and teased his friend,

"You mean, become her bestie? Because it turned out so well the last time you befriended the newbie?"

As Simone's eyes narrowed, Jake felt like he had just hit a nerve. It didn't stop her from justifying herself,

"Everything was fine with Tess until she thought she had to get you away from me, as if you weren't big enough to make your own decisions! Besides, Tess is a child. How you still tolerate her is beyond me, but I guess no man past a certain age can resist the attractiveness of youth." 

What the…

Jake chose to respond with a chuckle, which Simone ignored as she continued, "Mina seems older and more mature, from what I can see. Maybe…"

"Mina what?" 

Neither Jake or Simone, both too caught up in their conversation, had seen Mina coming back from the cave. As she slipped behind Jake to get her place back, she didn't look upset, just curious to hear what was said behind her back. 

"Nothing, dear! Nothing bad, at least. Don't you worry! I was just telling Jake it'd be nice to get to know you, as I feel we have a lot in common," Simone replied, so straightforwardly that Mina's eyes widened, visibly surprised by such unexpected attention.

"Really?" She mumbled nervously. "I'm not very good at socializing, but we're going to work together, so it's bound to happen, I guess; get to know each other more, I mean." Jake noticed her tone was polite, but she avoided Simone's gaze and kept herself occupied while speaking. He cautiously stayed out of the conversation, growing annoyed that Simone was still hanging around just as the first customers were about to arrive.

What was wrong with her today? She usually didn't engage with newbies, especially not with someone like Mina, whose contract came with a short expiration date. Simone had repeatedly voiced her disdain for people who took the job only to pay their bills or because they were waiting for a better opportunity to come along. Her sudden interest in a girl who would be gone by the end of the month was peculiar, to say the least.

Simone firmly believed that passion for the job was a requirement to work at a place like the 22W. She had been hired by Howard fifteen years ago and had left only to follow a man she had met at the restaurant, a French tourist named Etienne, who had filled her head with visions of the vineyards he owned and the champagne he produced in France. Swept off her feet by the charming Etienne, his irresistible accent, and the prospect of making champagne with him, Simone had dropped everything — including Jake, who had followed her from Cape Cod to live with her in New York — and had flown to France. The idyllic marriage hadn't lasted long, though, and soon Simone was back in New York, working for Howard again. Why Howard had taken her back remained a mystery to Jake, as Simone had always dodged every question he had asked on the subject.

Jake had a few ideas on the matter, but he didn't like any of them. As for the job, Jake was far from passionate; he only stayed because he refused to leave Simone alone. Despite her denials, he knew she needed him around to keep her sane. And she was well aware of how Jake felt but liked to claim he was just too lazy to look for a job he might enjoy more, or to resume his PhD, which he had abandoned a couple of years ago.

Simone and Mina exchanged a few more words, with Simone insisting that they should share a glass of wine together during Shift Drinks. Mina appeared surprised by the practice of drinking together, mentioning that it wasn't something she experienced in her previous workplace. Nevertheless, she politely declined Simone's offer for the evening, mentioning that she had other plans, accompanied by a mischievous smirk.

"Other plans? Like... a date?" Jake couldn't help but ask, his disappointment showing slightly at the thought that Mina wouldn't be joining for Shift Drinks. Mina chuckled.

"A date? Good God, no! Just a night out with my best friend. She's introducing me to her gang, as she calls it! It should be fun," she replied, then whispered under her breath as Simone finally returned to her duties, "Jealous much?"

Jake laughed and shook his head in denial. It was the truth! He wouldn't be jealous if Mina went on a date with another man. He simply wished she would change her mind and agree to spend another evening with him before moving on to someone new. Just one night, and he'd be content.

The dinner shift continued without a hitch. Monday evenings in February were typically quiet, and this one was no exception. When an order for a Margarita came in, Mina took it upon herself to gather the ingredients in the shaker and mix it herself before having Jake taste it. If she was still mad at him for whatever he said wrong earlier, she showed no sign of it.

"Not bad, but not quite as good as mine. Something's missing, maybe a hint of lemon?" he teased her.

Mina tasted it, nodded in agreement, then let out a small groan and mumbled, "I followed the recipe from the darn book!"

"Exactly," Jake said, giving her a playful smile. "The book is just a guide. Making cocktails is like cooking: if you follow the book to the letter, you'll end up with something okay, but not necessarily amazing! When you cook, you've got to adjust, add a bit more of this, a touch less of that, taste, and fine-tune as needed, and add your personal touch, or your dish will be fine but forgettable. At least, that's what Scott, our chef, always says. I wouldn't know, though; I'm not much of a cook," he admitted.

"I used to enjoy cooking when I was married and happy," Mina reminisced. Suddenly, a shadow of longing darkened her beautiful face. "But it's not the same when you're cooking for yourself and someone who has no choice but to eat what you make, compared to cooking for paying customers," she quickly added.

"Look, I know, you said you would manage yourself and I'm sure you can! But you should consider staying for Shift Drinks. I have to fill in for Nick there too now. Not complaining, it's extra cash... I could show you the ropes of the job without Howard lurking," Jake gently offered, touched by the mention of her failed marriage and the sadness in her voice. It was easy to forget that when she had met him, she was still a married woman who didn't know if she would return to her husband or not. He remembered how Simone wanted to leave Etienne but had hesitated several times before finally taking the plunge. He also recalled the aftermath of her return to New York: the depression that had kept her in bed for weeks, the regrets, the constant uncertainty about whether leaving Etienne had been the right choice...

Mina's face lit up, her lips forming the prettiest smile as she replied with a tinge of regret, "That would be amazing, but I promised Keisha I would go out with her and meet her friends."

"Fair enough. Tomorrow then?" Jake said, concealing his disappointment. He refocused on his work, and Mina did the same. He noticed with satisfaction that she already seemed more at ease than during her first shift. Soon, he might be able to rely on her more and even take a smoke break while leaving her in charge occasionally.

They both maintained their professionalism, but sometimes, their hands would accidentally brush against each other, causing a shiver to run down his arms. Or he would catch her stealing glances at him while he interacted with customers. The second time she did a poor job of concealing it, he couldn't resist teasing her.

"Why are you always looking at me? I thought you didn't want me," he whispered in her ear while standing right behind her to grab a couple of lemons he didn't really need.

Flustered, Mina replied with a hint of humor, 

“I don’t! I’m just pretending I do. Isn’t it what I’m supposed to be, horny for my very hot new coworker?”

“Ha-ha. Keep telling yourself that… I appreciate the "very hot" though." He looked at her with his most charming smile. "Can you say it again? That you’re horny for me? I like the sound of it,"

"Piss off and work, will you? I don't want to get fired because you've got a praise kink,"

Jake let out a short laugh, enjoying their banter. But Mina was right. He gave his full attention to the order Ari dropped on the bar for him, but not before winking at Mina. He felt satisfied to see her blush. The sight of her cheeks turning pink confirmed one thing: Mina hadn't slept with him only because she was lonely and drunk. He was sure she thought about the night they had spent together as often as he did.

Over the years, Jake had become adept at recognizing the signs of someone's infatuation with him, whether it was a woman or a man. He encountered these signs frequently and couldn't feign modesty by claiming he didn't know he was attractive. He had never had to exert much effort to get anyone he wanted in bed. It wasn't just because he was good-looking; he had a certain allure. He had fully realized this power while he was in ninth grade, the day Betty Harris had let him finger her while the other boys had failed to even steal from her a kiss…

After their shift, and just before Mina was about to leave the restaurant dressed for Arctic exploration, Jake grabbed her arm. Startled, Mina didn't pull away.

"We're thinking of hitting up the Home Bar after Shift Drinks. You should come with us, bring your friends too!"

Mina hesitated for a moment. Jake could sense the inner debate taking place in her big gray eyes, but eventually, she shrugged and replied, "I'm not entirely sure. It's supposed to be a 'girls-only' kind of night, I think. But who knows?"

Feeling a bit mischievous, Jake smirked and leaned in closer to Mina, saying, "I know what you ladies get up to when you're 'between girls.'"

"If you think we have pillow fights in our underwear, forget it," Mina retorted with a sly chuckle.

"Yeah, I learned that. So disappointing," he joked. "No, what you gals do is talk about boys all the time. You also enjoy a bit of boy-bashing whenever they don't do exactly what you want."

Mina arched an eyebrow and replied, a hint of irony in her voice,

"Funny, I didn't peg you as the type who watches TV series created by men for women, but you sure sound like someone who's seen a few too many of them! Men often have this idea that a woman's world revolves around them—or, better yet, that the whole world revolves around them! They seem to think that when women have moments without men, it's solely for the purpose of gossiping about them…"

Jake's smile grew wider as he saw Mina getting animated. She looked quite lovely when she got all fired up, as if a blazing fire burned in her cheeks and sparkled in her eyes. Naturally, she assumed he was teasing her and responded with a touch of irritation.

"Rest assured, we don't do that! Most of the time, we just need a safe space to talk about things that have nothing to do with men. But if men are around, it's no longer safe because they always manage to make everything about them and their dick!"

"And yet, I'm willing to bet the first topic of discussion will be your, what did you call me already?" He pretended to search his memory for the words Mina had used to describe him, thoroughly amused to see her roll her eyes. "Oh right, 'very hot coworker'!"

"Believe me or not, that's not going to happen!" Mina shot back.

Heather walked in at that exact moment, all set to head outside. She didn't pay any attention to Jake and made a beeline for Mina, greeting her with a cheerful tone, "Ready to roll? Sorry for the delay, by the way! Parker was clinging to me like a koala. He just couldn't wrap his head around not being invited!" She let out an exasperated sigh and added, "Men, I tell you."

Jake couldn't help but chuckle, slowly realizing that Mina had a point. He also trusted her when she promised not to bring up their shared history, especially with Heather present. Heather wasn't privy to all the details, so it made sense for Mina to tread lightly. Heather loved to boast about being one of the few who had never fallen for Jake's charms. Lucky for her, Jake was the soul of discretion.

Hours later, Jake found himself seated at a table in the Home Bar, joined by Tess, Ari, Scott, and Sasha. Will had initially tagged along but soon found a woman to chat up at the bar, clearly determined to take her home. He was to follow the group to the table, but seeing Tess getting cozy with Jake was too much for him to handle, so he had left to pursue his own evening. Jake couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the guy; he knew all too well the feeling of not being loved as much as he loved someone else. However, Jake didn't see it as his problem; he'd never asked Tess to choose him over Will. Jake's lips curled into a faint smile as he recalled his conversation with Mina earlier at the diner. Tess wanted adventure, a bit of a rebel, and Will, with his natural gentleness and good manners, just didn't fit the bill. Jake knew this phase would pass, and in less than a year, Tess would probably be back with Will if he still wanted her, or she'd be dating someone just like him.

As the night wore on, well past midnight, Jake found himself utterly bored. He knew that if he left, Tess would follow him, eager to discuss the events of the previous night, and that was the last thing he desired. So, he chose to stay and listen silently to his intoxicated friends' ramblings. His arm rested on Tess's shoulder while she placed her hand on his knee. Predictably, most of the conversations revolved around Mina. Whenever there was a newcomer, speculations ran wild. Even Scott, who still held a grudge against Jake for backing out of their "bar with food" project, was as curious as everyone else about the 'bombshell' working at the bar.

Ari, who was stoned out of her mind, kept bringing up Mina and pestered Jake to confirm whether she would show up at the Home Bar later that night, despite him saying three times that he had no clue. Ari insisted that Mina was giving off "lesbian vibes" and wanted to test her gaydar. Jake had no intention of shattering her illusions, but Tess, who was nearly as high on cocaine as Ari and quite intoxicated, suddenly chimed in, "You clearly didn't notice how she kept checking out Jake!"

A smirk of amusement escaped from Scott's lips as Jake shook his head, feeling both entertained and slightly annoyed. He muttered, "Here we go..."

"Nah, I was too busy looking at her tits… They're gorgeous!" Ari murmured.

Tess turned to him and wailed,

"What, it's true! And you two look cozy. Don't think I haven't noticed, I'm not dumb!"

"Baby Monster! You're dating a serial fucker, of course he'll bang her if he can! Right Jake?" Sasha playfully teased his friends, his Russian accent thickened by alcohol to the point of being nearly incomprehensible.

"Dude, you're not helping," Jake quipped, a smirk playing on his lips. Sasha blew him a cheeky kiss in response, while Tess let out a groan that was more noise than words. Jake couldn't deny that he meant what he said: the constant chatter about Mina, Ari's fixation on Mina's bust, and now, Sasha boldly voicing the truth about Jake's current state of mind, as if he had a direct line to Jake's thoughts, only fueled his growing fixation on Mina. The fact that Mina wasn't present amplified it; each time a new girl entered the bar, he secretly hoped it was her. Just ten minutes ago, a voice similar to Mina's had made his heart skip a beat. It was irrational, considering Tess was right by his side, making any romantic endeavor impossible, yet Jake couldn't help it. It reminded him of the obsession he had harbored for his high school history professor, which was entirely unhealthy and irrational. He knew then it wasn't love, but when she had left Cape Cod to never come back, it had left a void inside him. Then again, had he ever had a healthy relationship with anyone? Simone would probably have a snarky retort, something like, "Your healthiest relationships were your one-night stands."

By now, it was well past 1 a.m., and Tess announced that she wanted to call it a night. Scott had long since departed, and Ari was utterly wasted, but Sasha protested vehemently. Tess, for once, paid no heed to Sasha's objections. Jake sensed from the way she was looking at him that she expected him to accompany her, but he remained firmly rooted in his seat. He knew that if they were alone together again, a conversation about Tess's feelings – and, worse, his – would be impossible to avoid. And he didn't feel ready for it. He knew he'd have to be honest, but he didn't think he could bear to hurt her, as he knew he inevitably would. He also didn't want to lie or dodge the issue.

Annoyance tinged Tess's voice as she asked, "Are you coming with me?"

For a brief moment, Jake considered saying 'yes' and getting up from the couch, but it felt as if the furniture had sucked him in and refused to release him. He wore his best defeated look and replied, "Not yet, I'm good. See you tomorrow?"

Tess initially appeared startled, then crestfallen. There was something more than just disappointment in her eyes; Jake recognized that vibe all too well, having felt it emanate from his exes when they realized they needed to break up with him. He had felt it radiating from Rosalyn just before she told him she had to let him go, and he had no doubt Tess would soon come to the same conclusion. If he were honest with himself, he'd admit that he hoped she'd do it right now. Or, he could choose to be a responsible man and leave her. 

"Yeah. Sure. Tomorrow, at work," Tess replied tersely.

Tess grabbed her handbag and left the table after planting a quick kiss on his lips. As she tried to lock eyes with him, searching for some sign of his feelings, he didn't avoid her gaze but instead maintained a blank expression. It clearly wasn't what she hoped to see. Nervously biting her lip, she walked away. Sasha called her out for not even saying goodbye and followed her, attempting to convince her to stay.

Jake now felt a pang of guilt. He had turned Tess down for more than a year because he thought she was too young and vulnerable for him. But there had always been a small glimmer of hope that maybe he was wrong, and that she could bring some normalcy and stability into his life. These past few weeks, however, Jake had watched her spiral into a pattern of drugs and alcohol that was beginning to consume her. It pained him, as the last thing he wanted was to see her become like him, but it had been her choice to take the pills that Ari regularly offered her, long before they started dating. He often advised her to take it easy on the pills, but she rarely listened. She had once called him a hypocrite, to which he had gently responded that, unlike her, he knew when to stop now. Besides, he didn't use drugs every day.

A long time ago, drugs had taken him to a dark abyss from which he thought he'd never return. He had no intention of going back there. If Tess wanted to plummet to those depths, she would do it without him.

"She's not gonna show, right?" Ari, still sprawled out on the couch, whined, her speech slurred. "Who?" Jake asked, although he was pretty damn sure Ari was still talking about Mina. "The newbie... I'm dead sure she swings the other way... I could practically see it in her eyes. Ugh, I'm so fed up with falling for straight girls!" 

"Nah, I don't think she's coming," Jake admitted, finding himself oddly let down. From across the room, the smoking-hot bartender, Vivian, kept flashing smiles in his direction ever since Tess made her exit. She even dropped a wink his way when their eyes met. Jake shot her a grin in return but shook his head, turning down the not-so-subtle invitation. He’d already had a steamy encounter with Vivian in some dark corner of the bar, and as tempting as round two was, she wasn't the one consuming his thoughts tonight. The woman he couldn't get out of his head wasn't likely to show up at this ungodly hour, and besides, Home Bar was about to close shop. Jake instructed Sasha to keep an eye on Ari and make sure she got home safely before he made his exit.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner Breathing in your dust I wanna be your Ford Cortina I will never rust

If you like your coffee hot Let me be your coffee pot You call the shots, babe I just wanna be yours

Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought Maybe I just wanna be yours I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

Wanna be yours Wanna be yours Wanna be yours

Let me be your leccy meter And I'll never run out Let me be the portable heater That you'll get cold without

I wanna be your setting lotion (wanna be) Hold your hair in deep devotion (I'll be) At least as deep as the Pacific Ocean

Now I wanna be yours

Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

Back in his Chinatown apartment, Jake lay sprawled out on his bed, fully dressed, attempting to get some shut-eye. But while he usually had no trouble drifting off after a night of pounding drinks, tonight, the gates to the dream realm - or more like the nightmare realm - remained stubbornly shut. After tossing and turning for what felt like an eternity, Jake allowed his mind to wander. He pondered whether Ari might be onto something regarding Mina's sexual preferences, whether she was into women too. His imagination began to run wild, conjuring up vivid images of Ari and Mina locked in passionate embraces and intimate caresses. Slowly, Ari's face morphed into Simone's, and the mental picture of Simone and Mina together stirred something primal within him, causing his arousal to stir. Well, if sleep wasn't on the menu...

Jake opened his pants and slipped his hand in, as he conjured a vivid mental image of Mina standing before him. She wore her light blue work shirt, but instead of the usual pants, she sported a daring green mini skirt - a highly unlikely scenario in reality, but this was his fantasy, and he was in control. Her wild auburn hair cascaded freely around her lovely face, her curls framing her inviting smile as she whispered an alluring invitation, "come..."

Simone had faded into the background. All things considered, Jake desired Mina for himself, behind the bar at 22W. Once again, this was a far-fetched scenario, as Howard would never leave two employees alone and unsupervised in the main room of his restaurant. But that's what fantasies were for, right? To turn the impossible into the possible?

Mina wasn’t only a beautiful woman, she was also extremely sexy. With his arousal fully awakened, Jake let the mental movie play out as his hand seemed to move of its own accord, guided by his vivid imagination. He kissed Mina passionately, savoring the soft moans escaping her throat. Then, he deftly unbuttoned her shirt and nibbled at her neck, one hand entangled in her hair while the other fondled her breast. Jake couldn't help but let out a low groan of desire as he tightened his grip on his throbbing manhood, envisioning Mina succumbing to pleasure, her fingers entwined in his hair as he delved into her wetness. Nothing excited him more than witnessing - or, when he was alone, imagining - a woman reaching the height of ecstasy because of him. 

Mina's flirty voice whispered teasingly into Jake's ear, setting his desires ablaze. Oh, the memories of her going down on her knees for him flooded his mind, and he couldn't resist closing his eyes, fully immersed in the moment. His body reacted instinctively, jerking with pleasure while throaty sounds escaped his lips, expressing both satisfaction and a tinge of frustration that it wasn't the real deal. The softness of her mouth wrapping his cock, the sensation of her hair in his hand as he pulled, it was all still vividly etched in his memory. But damn, it just wasn't enough. A wicked thought crossed his mind - was Mina indulging in the same fantasies? In an instant, he conjured an image of her sprawled on her bed, her hand slipping into her panties, moaning his name in ecstasy.

And just like that, the vision merged with another: him lifting her up onto a bar, her legs wrapped around him, as they engaged in a wild, uninhibited dance of pleasure. Gripping himself firmly, he pumped with a rapid yet steady rhythm, feeling the heat rise within him. Loads of precum dripped from his cock, his grip on the headboard tightening as he groaned, louder and louder. With his eyes still shut, his lower lip between his teeth, he could almost feel the sensation of Mina's nails raking across his back, the intoxicating taste of her skin as he nibbled on her right shoulder with an insatiable hunger. And then he found himself behind her, thrust after thrust, his release imminent. Grabbing her throat, he pounded into her core with an untamed fervor, his fingers entangled in her hair, pulling them out, intensifying the raw passion between them.

And that did it . with one final, powerful thrust, Jake let out a long, guttural moan, his body trembling with pleasure as he found release. Collapsing onto the bed, he kept his hand wrapped around his spent cock, covered in his own warm semen. "Oh, fuck..." he groaned, his voice filled with a mixture of satisfaction and exhaustion. Reaching for a tissue from the conveniently placed box under his nightstand, he quickly cleaned himself up. A wicked smile played on Jake's lips as he thought, "who needs porn when you have memories like this?"

Moments later, his hunger momentarily appeased, he let sleep embrace him.  As he closed his eyes, a stream of faces he knew flashed before his eyes; Mina's, Tess', Sasha's, but also Chris' and Elena's. It brought him back to his conversation with Chris, and to the past they shared, at least the good part of it. Chris was right, things weren't supposed to turn out like this. There was a time when Jake was a good boy, excelling in school. Heck, he even had a romantic side, Jake remembered, laughing internally. But quickly, those thoughts disappeared and the images faded to black. He fell asleep.

[desireandduty]

Just like she had ten minutes ago, she can actually feel his agitation starting to creep into her mind, and it causes a chain reaction in her. Why is he getting irritated with her? She's only asking questions that any mother would ask, raising concerns any woman would have when they are moving to a strange place and their babies' arrival is imminent. Because she grew up in an upper middle class home on a peaceful planet and has lived all of her life in ease and comfort, it has never occurred to her to question what babies really need to survive. She only knows that she doesn't want to change diapers on the ground, just like she doesn't want to give birth lying on the ground either.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she smoothes her hand over her belly and nods. "All right. Ahch-To it is. I think the kit would fit in the cargo bay. We used to donate them to refugee families, when I was a young girl helping my father on relief missions. They're crates filled with just bare necessities like a tent, blankets, a stove, basic dishware, pots and other things to get you started while you build a home on a new planet. We'd have to stop in a city to buy one though."

Watching him input the coordinates for Naboo makes her realize that she had initially sat in the pilot's chair. He'd seemed so on edge and almost out of it when he'd followed her back to her ship on Mustafar that she'd been uncertain if he was in any state to fly. But now, he seemed settled, determined even. "Oh. Right. We should switch seats. You're by far the better pilot." Placing both hands on the arms of the chair, she hauls herself up into a standing position so they can swap seats. As she settles herself into the copilot's chair, she cannot help but laugh as she realizes the twins are basically somersaulting around now. "I think they're finding this all a big adventure," she says, pointing to the spot where a little foot is clearly visible tracking its way across the bulge of her stomach.

Anakin nods. “As long as there is material, I don’t think I should have any problem.” It’s on the tip of his tongue to point that babies really don’t need all of this stuff (a baby can be changed on any flat surface, for example); Anakin didn’t have anything close to that …. But that thought makes him not voice anything. The point is to give children a better life, not deny them things just because someone else didn’t have them. And the twins (twins!) will always have a better life than Anakin; they will be born into freedom….

Padme’s fixation on the details starts to grate under his skin. If she’d rather a different planet, she was welcome to suggest one herself. Anakin rather liked that Ahch-To was so uninhabited; it means there’s no chance of anyone betraying them or harming the twins. “We won’t know until we get there,” he says to her question about a house. At the very least, there should be a cave or something. Which isn’t ideal, of course, but would at least provide protection from the elements for the time being. The concept of a homesteading kit is one he is unfamiliar with, and he hesitates. “I don’t think we can have anything flown in.” The point is that Ahch-To was difficult to locate and get to. “But if that’s something we can take with us, then sure.”

He looks away from here, to fix the coordinates for Naboo. “We should get going, if we want to pick some things up.”

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Trauma

Father of Mine – Masterlist

Y/N huffed as Bruce slammed the tennis ball back in her direction – and she missed it.

Jesus. Wasn't he supposed to be getting older?

“Why do rich people like this stupid sport so much?”

Bruce smirked before asking, “Think you’re just saying that because you’re losing?”

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes. “If this were soccer or a foot race, I’d kick your ass.”

Bruce just chuckled.

In the next few minutes, he showed his daughter a bit of mercy and got the game over with.

Y/N and Bruce had a whole father-daughter day planned, which included going to a new museum, dinner, and maybe a movie.

But when Y/N arrived, she saw how utterly exhausted Bruce was. And behind him, Damian and Tim were screaming at each other about something pointless. The manor was chaotic.

Y/N had to make some changes to the day’s plans.

She basically held Bruce hostage at the manor and made him take a self-care day. She also joined forces with the boys and kicked them all out of the house for the day. With just a small puppy-dog look, Y/N got Jason to help make sure the they all stayed away.

“So what do you want to do next?” Bruce asked.

“Wanna go for a walk?” She asked with a shrug.

The grounds of the Wayne property were huge, which meant it was a lovely walk and they didn’t even have to leave the gates.

Bruce gave her a nod and smiled.

“Did you like growing up here as a kid?” Y/N asked him as she took in the scenery.

It seemed like such a different world to her still. Y/N and her mom had lived in a small little cottage in the suburbs of Gotham. It was quaint and cozy, nothing like a home that was officially called a ‘manor.’

Bruce’s brow furrowed. “Sometimes it felt like a prison and sometimes it felt like a sanctuary. It all depended on what was happening in my life.”

“And what about nowadays?” She pushed.

Bruce smirked. “The past few years it’s become one of the few places our family can be together as our true selves.”

Y/N nodded in agreement.

She always felt safe at the manor. Even though she loved her apartment, it was in a building filled with strangers. And as soon as she walked out onto the sidewalk, she was exposed. There was not a whole lot of breathing room or privacy there.

“You need to take better care of yourself, Bruce.”

He sighed, expecting a lecture to come at some point today.

“You deserve it,” she added. “And if I have to take days off with you just to insure you do it, then so be it.”

Bruce smirked and shook his head at her.

“But what about you?” He surprised her by asking.

“What about me?”

Bruce stopped walking now and turned to face his daughter. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” she shrunk under his gaze.

This was not their usual talk. Bruce was bad at emotionally and mentally checking in with his kids. He was good at seeing the signs that they might need help or extra attention. But he usually steered away from asking people point blank how they were doing.

“Do I not seem fine?” Y/N asked nervously.

“I suppose not. But you are related at me, therefore I worry that you would be too good at hiding if you weren't fine.”

She smirked at that. “Touché.”

Bruce didn’t speak, giving her a chance to share if his suspicions were right.

“Guess I’m lucky I have Jason,” she smiled sadly. “He always knows when I’m not okay. But it’s not really fair that I make him figure it out, instead of just telling him.”

“He loves you. So I'm sure he doesn’t mind,” Bruce tried to tell her.

“I know he doesn't. The problem has never been him loving me enough. It’s always been Jason letting me love him back.”

Then she seemed to realize what she had just said to her father.

“Sorry,” Y/N quickly apologized. “It’s probably weird talking to you about this stuff…”

“Don’t apologize,” he told her.

“I know Jason and I have been together for almost a year now. But I realized I never really… asked if you were alright with it.”

Bruce smirked.

His daughter was independent and determined. He never expected her to seek any sort of permission from him. And quite frankly, she didn’t need to. Her and Jason were both adults. They could make decisions on their own.

“Of course I’m alright with it.”

Y/N shrugged. “I get that it can seem kind of weird from the outside. I’m your biological daughter, he was your foster kid that you eventually adopted.”

“And he resents that,” Bruce noted with an amused huff.

Y/N chuckled. But as soon as it died down, she let out a heavy sigh.

Bruce could tell she was tired.

Maybe she needed this little self-care day as much as he did.

“Come on,” Bruce nudged his head toward the manor. “Alfred will have lunch ready soon. We should probably shower before he scolds us for being a sweaty mess.”

Y/N smiled and nodded, realizing she was starving now that he mentioned it.

They both showered. Y/N changed from her tennis outfit to loungewear since she convinced Bruce to actually sit down and watch a movie with her in the manor’s theater.

But of course Bruce’s idea of relaxing attire was slacks and a black turtleneck.

And Y/N didn’t miss the opportunity to tease him. “You know…you can wear sweats in your own home, Bruce. I won’t tell the press.”

He simply gave her an unamused look.

At the end of lunch, Bruce got a work call – like, Wayne Enterprises work, not Batman work.

Y/N gave her father a glare as he reached to answer it. She had strictly forbid such actions at the start of the day.

Bruce was smart enough to give her an apologetic look before he picked it up and left the room.

“He’s hopeless,” Y/N sighed as Alfred returned to take their empty plates.

“Oh, I am well aware, my dear.”

“Need any help?” Y/N asked, slowly standing up.

“Not at all, Ms. Y/L/N. Go relax in the den and wait for Master Wayne.”

“Alfred!” She laughed. “We’ve been over this. It’s just Y/N. Please.”

He only winked at her as he grabbed their dirty plates and returned to the kitchen.

Y/N did as Alfred said and slowly went to the den.

Her attention was instantly caught by the various photos around the room. Had she ever been in here before? It wasn’t possible. She would’ve immediately been drawn to the photos.

Bruce wasn’t one to drag guests anywhere and force them to look at photos of his kids – not even his own daughter.

Speaking of, Y/N froze when she noticed that Bruce had a small photo of her framed and hanging on one of the walls.

That sneaky bastard.

Y/N narrowed her eyes suspiciously, realizing that Clark must’ve given it to Bruce after an event with The Daily Planet. There were always multiple event photographers in the shadows at those things. And not even other off-duty photographers were safe.

But she decided the gesture was sweet of Bruce and there was no use in scolding him for it. There were also the photos from her childhood that she’d gifted to Bruce not long ago. They were neatly framed and arranged throughout the room.

Her attention slowly moved to other photos.

Then she couldn’t help but do a double take at one that was on a bookcase.

And it took her a few seconds to realize it was Jason.

He couldn’t be older than 11. And he was so, so small – just skin and bones, really. Nobody back then could’ve ever predicted that he would grow into the beast of man he is today.

“That was only a couple months after he started living here,” Bruce said behind her.

Y/N jumped, not hearing his entrance at all.

“Sorry,” he apologized softly.

All of his boys could sense his arrivals. Sometimes Bruce forgot that Y/N wasn’t trained in stealth like all of them.

“He was so skinny,” Y/N spoke so quietly as she looked back at Jason’s picture.

“Because he was basically starving when I found him.”

Y/N whipped back around quickly to look into her father’s eyes. “What?”

He frowned. “How much has Jason told you about his childhood?”

She looked sad and sighed, “He never really gives me any details when I ask. I just know that it was…bad. His mom was an addict and died from overdose. His dad was abusive and eventually got killed on the streets.”

Bruce simply nodded.

Should he be the one to fill those gaps for her? Was it Bruce's story to tell? Or would sharing Jason’s past just cause another frequent argument between him and Bruce?

“It’s way worse than he lets on, isn’t it?” Y/N asked softly, as if she were scared of how bad it really had been for her boyfriend.

Bruce sighed. “He was living on the streets when I found him. I’m sure he’s told you about stealing the wheels off the batmobile – he still uses that for bragging rights.”

Y/N smiled shyly and nodded.

“Go on,” she practically begged.

“He was malnourished, way too skinny and short for his age. His dad was in jail at the time – not that Jason even knew. He just thought he was on another bender. And his mom was missing, too. I found out a few days later that she had died of an overdose. Jason didn’t know that either.”

“Jesus,” Y/N breathed.

“He didn’t trust me, that was clear. Yet somehow he didn’t seem scared of me at all.”

“So, what? You dragged him here?”

“In a way.” Bruce admitted with a small wince. “I got him some food. And he ate like he hadn’t had a meal in a month. But I knew I couldn’t let him stay on the streets by himself. The foster care system in Gotham was so corrupt then – even worse than it is today. Almost all of the foster homes were a front for drug lords using kids to make deliveries or sex traffickers.”

Y/N looked like she was going to be sick.

“And Jason knew all of that, too. He told me that’s why he kept running away from his foster homes. The kid always had street smarts. A part of me believes he would’ve made it on his own even if I had never run into him.”

“You said he didn’t trust you,” Y/N pointed out. “So how the hell did you get him to come home with you?”

“I took off the cowl and showed him who I was.”

“Quite a risky move to do with a kid.”

Bruce nodded. “I didn’t have anything else to offer. Eventually he took me up on my deal to let him stay here for a few days – at least until I could find him a home.”

“And I’m guessing you didn’t…”

Bruce shook his head. “Like I said, almost all of them were covers for various criminal activities. And any home that did seem like a good fit was already maxed out with too many kids.”

Y/N’s chest hurt imaging the man she loved, small and helpless, being forced into environments that he knew would hurt or use him.

“He was so nervous when he first got here," Bruce continued. "Any time there was a loud noise, he would almost go into a panic attack. I had to constantly monitor the volume and tone of my voice, because he would immediately spiral into thinking I was mad and about to hurt him.”

Bruce’s eyes glazed over as he was thrown back in time, trying to remember all the details of Jason’s arrival.

It was clear from the way he was talking that it had been a long time since he thought about it.

Y/N didn’t want to interrupt, hoping to find out as much about Jason as she possibly could.

“Alfred found a bag of extra clothes and nonperishable food hidden under his bed. He was ready to run if things went south. A-After he died, we found it untouched with dust covering it.”

Bruce cleared his throat.

Even after all this time and with Jason being alive and well, Bruce still got emotional thinking about when he'd died by the hands of the Joker.

“It sounds like he was so scared,” Y/N pointed out in a whisper.

Today, Jason didn’t seem scared of anything – only ever fearing losing Y/N in some way or another.

“He was,” Bruce confirmed. “He couldn’t sleep at the manor for weeks, even when he pushed a chair against the door to make sure no one could get in.”

“He was always waiting for the floor to drop – even still today sometimes,” she muttered.

“Jason couldn’t comprehend the idea that someone might actually care about him and want to protect him from everything he’d been running from,” Bruce reflected.

“So what finally brought him around?”

“School. The library. Three meals a day,” Bruce listed. “He spent almost all his free time in that library, reading books that were for people twice his age. And I never met a kid who loved going to school so much.”

Y/N smiled. Her big nerd of a boyfriend, that part she recognized.

“And you,” she added gently.

“Alfred maybe,” Bruce contested. “But I don’t believe I was a part of it.”

Y/N shook her head and frowned. “Give yourself some credit, Bruce.”

But Bruce was too busy studying her. He could tell his daughter might start crying at any moment. He could only imagine how she was processing the stories he shared when they were about the man she was in love with.

“You OK?” He asked her softly.

Y/N nodded and took in a shaky breath in to try and control her emotions.

Suddenly the front door of the manor was thrown open and voices echoed around the manor.

The boys had returned.

Without saying anything, Y/N quickly rushed out of the room to meet them.

Jason was in the middle of giving a noogie Damian, who looked like he was about to bite off Jason’s hand.

But Jason did a double take when he saw his girlfriend walking to him with purpose and an expression he couldn’t quite read.

“Hey, beautiful.” He greeted softly.

Next thing he knew, Y/N had nearly tackled him into a hug.

Jason let out a laugh, but then quickly realized this was not meant to be funny.

He pulled her tighter to him and kissed the top of her head before saying, “You OK? What’s wrong?”

Dick seemed to sense that something was going on and made sure to usher Tim and Damian further into the house.

“Nothing,” Y/N said into Jason’s chest. “I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I’m so proud of you.”

Jason’s brow furrowed, more confused now.

Then he looked up to see Bruce watching the interaction as he leaned in the doorway.

And somehow Jason just…knew.

Jason knew that Bruce must’ve told Y/N something about him.

“I love you, too.” Jason whispered back to her.

Y/N pulled away and sniffed, trying not to make a scene by crying.

“Sure you OK?” Jason pushed.

She nodded.

But Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled him close so she was hugging his whole arm, too.

“You guys made it back just in time for the movie,” she told him with a smile.

And they rejoined the rest of the family.

During the movie, Y/N and Jason shared a love seat in the theater.

And they were only halfway into it before Jason felt Y/N slowly fall asleep on him, cuddling even closer to his body.

‘What the hell did Bruce make you do all day?’ He wondered. Y/N never fell asleep during movies.

Once it was over, everyone slowly started making their way to their bedrooms.

Except Dick, who said his goodbyes before leaving to return to his own apartment in Gotham.

“Why don’t you two just spend the night?” Bruce asked Jason as he looked down at his sleeping daughter.

Jason didn’t answer, also watching her.

“You brought your motorcycle, right?” Bruce added.

Jason nodded, knowing Bruce was right: he shouldn’t make Y/N ride on the back of his bike when she was this tired.

“So…what did you say to her?” Jason slowly asked.

Bruce watched him for a moment.

Was this going to cause another riff? Would Jason snap and tell him to mind his own business and stop telling other people his?

“She saw a photo of you when you were little,” Bruce started to explain. "And I told her about when you first got here.”

“She was so upset,” Jason muttered, remembering the way she had looked at him when they'd returned.

“Wouldn’t you be if it were the other way around?” Bruce countered.

Jason just nodded. But he thought to himself, ‘If all of that had happened to Y/N, I would’ve killed anyone who had a part in it.’

“You know, you don’t have to hide your past from her,” Bruce told him softly. “She wants to hear about you – even the bad things that are hard to talk about.”

Jason hesitated before saying, “I don’t want her to pity me.”

“Pity and sympathy are two different things, Jason. She loves you.”

Jason thought about it a second before slowly nodding.

That was all Bruce would get. And Jason was silently telling him that he’d at least consider opening up more to Y/N about his past.

“I should get her to bed,” Jason mumbled before bringing Y/N’s sleeping form into his arms.

When he carried her, it was like she weighed nothing.

“Night, kid.” Bruce called after him.

“Thanks, B.”

––––––––––––––––––

Let me know if you liked it!

→ Father of Mine + bonus content

[solarrene]

Home Again

Jason Todd X Plus Size reader

Chapter Six

Connections build. Things are confessed left and right. Attractions arises.

Hearts Reflecting One Another .1

It had been a week and days since Y/N arrived in Gotham, in those days, she's finally explored the few of the city with the few of them. Even having a few times with Alfred to go out as well. She managed to drag Stephanie, Cassandra and Barbara for a girl's day out too. A few baking lessons from her was shared with them, with Duke, Tim and Dick joining the earlier three—nothing but another situation that can worry Alfred to death, if he fears it anyway. Then once visited the museum with Alfred and Bruce. 

She was more than appreciative that not only her was comfortable to be more of herself but them as well, despite still not knowing much about them, she still felt welcome. More and more at ease. 

Then there was the certain man with the white hair streak thats been bothering her ever since. No, it doesn't bother her that he hasn't tagged along in their little ventures, not at all. But they did had their encounters though, that's not been on her mind repeatedly by the way, no. 

That night then, he hasn't left her mind. He just had to smile at her, she just had to see the goldness of the candlelight on his skin, she just had to admire how his white streak fell so freely on his forehead, she just had to behold the few of his scars, she just had to see him.

Damn pretty boy.

The passing days continued then, the more it went on, her uncertainty towards what she has been feeling, thinking of him, continued as well. Though the more she tried to deny it, the more she finds herself recalling the moments she's had with him despite he wasn't there every time she was spending time with the family. 

What an embarrassing thought.

But she'll indulge herself this time, again. 

---------------

The joy she suddenly felt when she sees him was replaced with worry as her eyes could not pass by the redness and a few cuts of his hands on his knuckles. "Jason?....your hands..." she trailed off, stopping in the middle of the stairs. 

Jason halted, looking at her worried gaze and chuckled lightly. ".... Me and my friend went a bit overboard with our training. Sparring matches, something like that" He shrugged. 

"Oh...," she nodded. Training, huh? She did realize that it make sense why he was build the way he is. Y/N huffed, "Well, you did say you tend to hurt yourself a lot," she concluded and continued walking down the stairs. 

"That I did and you'll be seeing new of it more often." 

Her eyebrows furrowed, "I hope not," says her instantly, her face turned serious. 

"You worried about me?" He asked, smug was the curving of his lips and as well as his voice. 

Y/N gripped the end of the banister, taken back by the sudden change of his tone. Though she was still on a step of the stairs and him on the side of it, he still towered over her—his stance now intimidating her. 

This is new. 

Scoffing as she rolled her eyes, "Don't flatter yourself," though the tone same from his. She knew she was but he didn't need to know that, at least not directly anyway. 

Jason laughed. Only now she hears the deepness of his voice, their near distance from each other didn't help either for her to not feel the vibration of it. "Keep telling yourself that," he retorted as he began to walk away. 

"Maybe I will." She whispered to herself, sharpening her gaze to him. Determined. 

If that's what can help me stop this, then maybe I will.

------------------

"Going out?" Jason asked Y/N midway through his walk in the hallway as they saw each other.

Nodding as she swiftly look down on her attire; a yellow wrapped dress, heels, and her handbag. "Yes, Stephanie said it'll be great to go at the amusement park today." The offers of them going around the city with her at last started with their first day. 

"Yeah, good luck with them, they'll drag you on all everything there." He chuckled.

She did as well, "I'll be making sure I'll come back in one piece then." Y/N slowed down her walk as did him, hesitating to speak and hesitated to meet his eyes. "....I.....Won't you go as well?" asked her, she was feeling that her heart was starting to flutter again.

Why did I say that?

She sees him smile softly and she blinked, mentally shaking her head. "I have something to work with Bruce, you're gonna deal with their shit all on your own," he replied and they were now beside each other.

Y/N laughed, "I see, well then I hope you could go with us next time." Her laughter toned down as she heard herself.

I should stop speaking.

His eyes piqued with mirth, "You're gonna flatter me," he says, smirking.

Oh, I wanna wipe that off his face.

...What am I even thinking?

"Have a good day, Jason." Y/N declared without missing a beat, tightly turning around and walked away. She hadn't heard him laugh so freely like that before. Her sudden frown from his remark was starting to be changed by the curling of her lips.

...Adorable

Annoying.

"Sorry to disappoint you," his voice lightly echoed in the hallway. She can now imagine his shit eating grin and this made her click her tongue.

"Stop flattering yourself." Her voice gritted, the clacking of her heels heavy. She feels her chest rise and fall with every step she takes, so she stopped walking when she was in another direction. Swallowing hardly, she rolled her eyes, "How infuriating." Whispered her.

Then a minute after, she puts a hand to her forehead and sighed.

Why am I even pissed off ?

---------------------

She hums quietly to herself as she makes her way to the library, excited in the idea of spending some time in it as it is late in the midnight. The porcelains clanging gently with the tray in her hands. 

Y/N walks in the library and headed to where the table was, but then she got startled by a figure that came in her view, which was for heaven's sake, Jason.

"Bloody hell," she muttered, then continued to walk to where he was, hands slightly trembling along with the tray as she laid it on the table. 

"Hello, Alfred." He greeted, looking up at her from his book while giving the same annoying curve of his lips, to her anyway. 

Y/N plops herself on the couch across from him, "Oh, fuck off." She spat, curling her robes more to her body. She sees him with a surprised look and at last cracked a smile—making her laugh in a scoffing manner. 

I am beginning to get too comfortable. 

"That would not be Alfred." Jason said. 

"No, it wouldn't," she replied, and began to pour herself a cup of tea. Upon realizing there was only one teacup, she suddenly thought she should have bought an extra, then her eyebrows creased. 

Why even? 

"Aren't you gonna ask me for some tea as well or those cookies?" He asked, putting his book down on his lap while looking at her. 

She says without hesitation, "No. Go make your own," and drank her tea after, staring at him dead in the eyes. The same gleam of delight she's had lately was in his eyes once again. With their nearness from each other, the bright orange of light illuminating in faint darkness, she had now seen the color of his eyes; radiant blue irises and fragments of green in it. 

Enticing. 

"You lost in my eyes, sweetheart?" His voice dripping with delightful malice rang in her ears, making her blink and roll her eyes, shrugging off like she wasn't caught of doing so. The name didn't go unheard by her and repeat it in her mind, her heart skipping a beat. 

Oh, this bitch. 

"I was just about to say how pretty they are but I rather say, go fuck yourself." Her tone more weighting than his and started to stand up from her sit.

I am losing my mind. What the hell. 

Confused to why she's starting to lose composure. 

Jason bursted out laughing, the deep voice of his rumbling in the room, his head thrown back on his seat. No doubt it also echoed through the hallway. 

Y/N glared at him immediately, "Be quiet!" she hissed in a loud whisper. Though her staggering stare was starting to wear off with amusement as well, looking at his joyful yet irritating state made her so. 

How endearing. 

"You are exasperating." She declared, throwing him one last sharp look before walking to the book shelves. Jason's laughter died down shortly and she got herself a book that she sures know will be difficult to pay attention to, seemingly he was there. 

"Yet, you look like you enjoy it." Jason says and she said nothing in return but clicked her tongue. Y/N placed the plates of cookies on the table and slid it lightly to his direction-his small smile didn't go overlooked by her. 

Silence came in as they began to read into their own books, nothing but the cracking of woods in the fireplace was heard. For a good long minutes, she did actually read and comprehended it well, nothing but them full in solacement, indulged in their own worlds. 

But then inevitably, the man in her view became noticeable. From her peripheral vision, she stared at him; a black shirt that fitted him well, his grey sweatpants that hugged his lower form loosely, and, surprisingly-a Wonder Woman patterned red socks. He looked cozy, entranced in his book. She smiled, chuckling lightly. 

Didn't think a man built like him could be this adorable. 

Stop. 

"Cute socks." Y/N said suddenly, breaking off their silence. 

Jason huffed, smiling, "What? I admire the woman, she's great." Says him proudly. 

Y/N nodded, "That she is," 

"What about you? You a fan of any of them?" Jason closed his book again and took another cookie. Y/N squinted his eyes at him as she sees there were only a few left. 

She shakes her head and also closed her book, "Not really, but......I suppose Superman," he raised his eyebrows and tipped his head. "I just think he's....great too." She shrugged. 

"Well I- ow!" Y/N slapped his hand away from the plate of cookies as he was just about to take another one. "You had enough and I haven't even had one yet," she hissed, glaring at him and he just looked at her, the annoyed look of hers making him break into a little laugh.

Now I'm annoyed again, this is irritating. 

She poured her cup another of the tea but not for her as she slid the saucer to his way but didn't say anything nor him when he saw what she did. Only then she realized that it was her cup. 

Why ever did I do that? 

What if he doesn't take it then? Oh, how embarrassing. 

But she was surprised as he took it but still said nothing. "How are your hands and arm anyway?" she was really concerned but she just wanted to change the non-existent subject.

Jason showed his forearm and it was healed now, turned to a scar, "It's fine and my hands are not so bad now as well." He says while he flexed his hands; tall, bony yet thick fingers. Veins etched clearly on his knuckles, as well as the few of marks that healed. 

Even his hands are pretty.

Will you stop.

"Still worried about me?" He asked.

She scoffed before standing up from her chair, "Keep telling yourself that." Said her as she walked to where the window was, opening the curtains to reveal the wide skies filled with stars. She stands in front of it, admiring the view.

"You wound me." The shit eating grin she once saw vague in her mind now clear and crisp as the dark bright sky. Despite being away from the fireplace, she still felt her body to be warmer than it should be. 

Annoying tall motherfucker.

She bit her lip to prevent her from smiling but she knows he was as well and he knew it too, made her smile wide more. "My pleasure." 

She had never spent any midnight like that, filled with so much glee that it made her heart dance again.

------------------------------

She's trying her best, really. She can swore but it was not working. Sighing when she stopped walking and looked up at the sky, glad that she was able to see nothing but the light that still shone in the vision of her darkness in her closed eyes. Just because of that certain man she wants to strangle. Not caring that the sunlight is now starting to burn her skin, wanting to be at peace for a while.

Leave me be like this for now, don't think about anyth-

"You good?"

"Will you-" Y/N yelped with both her fists clenched on her sides, and turned around to see Dick—"Stop that?" Breathless as she glared at him.

"Shit, sorry, I didn't know you were like that," he laughed and walked to her.

"Now you know." She replied nonchalantly and began walking again. "I was just thinking how peaceful I was," her hands trailing the tall bushes of greens.

"Seemed like you were stressed out still." Dick shrugged, putting his hands on the pocket of his jeans. "Should I ask what's bothering you?"

Y/N sighed again, "It's nothing that you think is bothering me, I wish that was it anyway, and that's what bothering me." She trailed off mindlessly.

He creased his eyebrows, turning to look at her, "I feel like I know what you're talking about but I'm not sure." Knowing where their conversation was going to go. 

Oh, come on.

"Of course you do," she eyed him.

Dick just looked at her with a flat expression and she sighed yet again. "Does that work with anyone?" She asked.

He smiled, "More than likely." Taking in pride at the gesture he can pull off well with his people.

I'm gonna regret this.

"Might as well just speak it out loud." Y/N rolled her eyes, they found an empty bench, and thankful the both of them as the spot were not filled with anyone but them. 

"You better swear you're not to tell anyone this." Y/N stated as they sat down together and he laughed.

I'm already regretting this.

"If it's really about what I think it is, then I'm sorry because I can assure you that it's nothing we don't already know about." His speculations beginning to be right in his mind. At least he looked actually apologetic. 

"Are you sure you're sorry?" She asked, giving him the side eye and he just pursed his lips—smiling still. Well, he "looked" like it then. Y/N released a loud groan, laying her head back on the back of the bench. "Now I don't want to say it out loud."

He snickered. It felt as if he was pestering one of his siblings. 

"Does annoying people run in your family?"

"You only noticed now?"

Y/N groaned loudly again but this time longer and sat up straight after. Dick was just looking at her with a smile, clearly enjoying this. "Got it out?" 

"Shut up."

Well, here fucking goes nothing.

But before she could speak, he beat her to it. "So, Jason, huh?" He says, now looking ahead but his smile couldn't get any wider as he sees her shocked face from his peripheral vison. He couldn't have been more happy that he was right about it. 

"I truly hate you." She mumbled and he howled out laughing, his loud voice interrupting the serenity of the garden. "Darling, come on.....nothing is funny about this." Y/N frowned, then he looks at her with his eyes glistening of enjoyment and she couldn't stop her lips from breaking into a smile. "Richard" She hissed, her strict tone breaking. Saying his first name felt right for her in the moment. 

When he calmed down, "You wanna elaborate on that?" 

"You wanna elaborate on how you and your lovely-" she emphasized the word with spite, "people know about it?"

Y/N was definitely sure she hadn't been obvious to any of her spiteful feelings towards him, at least she thinks so anyway.

Does even Jason knows?

"I don't need to explain how nosy we can be sometimes....and you both weren't even alone when you were together. Let's just say word goes out in the family faster than any tabloids here." Dick tells, making hands gestures. 

Pertaining to the moments her and his brother had that caught their attention. Like when Tim was in the hallway just above the stairway, when they were talking about Jason's hands, immediately running to his room to call Stephanie about it, then Stephanie told it to Cassandra and Duke, then Duke to Damian, and Tim again to his oldest brother. 

Then with Dick being out of town for the moment at that time, instructed his culprits to look out for them, it sounded more appropriate in his ears, they didn't need any persuasion. In the hallway when they were going to the amusement park, Cassandra and Damian was there. Even unnoticed by Jason. They were that dedicated. Definitely not desperate. But she did not need to know that. 

And so for the library part-

She sighed again. 

Wait.....even alone? Oh my god.

Creasing her forehead as she realized something and turned to him sharply. "What the hell? Even in the library that time?" 

She got her answer when he froze, "...Listen-" his hand raised up. 

"Oh my god." Y/N sinked into her sit, her hands covering her face. Ok, now Dick really feels bad. "How even..."

"Look, I didn't mean to-" she released her face from her hands and glared at him, "Okay, a little bit. But it was Jason's fault! Because I heard his loud laugh, so of course I went to see what it was about then you were there and I may or may have not-" 

"You were there the whole time after? Were you watching as well? What the hell?! " Y/N cried out, hands flailing while standing up from the bench. 

"No! No, I just listened-" Dick followed, stressed out he was as well.

"Is that supposed to make it not bad?" She was now pacing back and forth, Dick was starting to find things funny again.

"Well, at least I didn't watch."

Y/N lowered herself down on the ground, her clasp hands on her forehead. "Richard," she groaned, dragging it a bit long. With her closed eyes, she thinks about the time in that damn library but now with the thought of someone eavesdropping on them. "Fuck." She wailed, dragging it again.

Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Embarrassing.

Dick snorted but caught himself after, "Sorry." He coughed, then held out his hand to her. She took it unwillingly, not looking at him. This made him laugh again, "Why are you so embarrassed about it anyway?"

Y/N stomped her foot, "Because!" Had there any people around their place, they surely would have been entertained or annoyed. She stopped, stammering, "Well, I...because....-"

Dick smirked, "Because you were....flirting?" He tipped his head aside, looking at her so amusingly.

"Richard, I swear to god." Y/N warned with nothing, she sat down on the bench again and he followed. She sighed, collecting herself at last. 

Were we flirting? 

Oh god, I did. 

We did. 

Y/N pursed her lips and closed her eyes again. Disappointment gnawed in her. Like a child, that she feels; losing control of herself, carried far too away in the moment. But she could have chosen.

And I didn't. 

She opened her mouth as her eyes, taking a short second of breathing, hesitating and finally spoke again. "One minute I'm admiring his smile, then the next I'm cursing him in my mind," Confessed her.

"You like him," Dick declared, his demeanor now serious. Dawning in him that there was something more to her sentiment. 

"I am aware now, yes." She admitted it, crossing her arms on her chest after, clenching her fists. Scared. Heart racing from this realization of her, a confession to herself rather. 

Ah, shit. Just like that. 

Idiot.

"You fool," Y/N whispered as she looks up at the now softening colors of the sky. 

Dick stared ahead, trying to piece the things together, "It's nothing that I think about what's bothering you....is it-?"

Y/N nodded slowly, "Yes, it's....my mother, I suppose.....Grieving and all that." 

How could you even be feeling like this at such a time?

She let out a sharp breath from her nose, shame rising in her. Dick looks at her then, his stare turning mellow. Still piecing things together. "It's bothering you...because you think you shouldn't be...feeling all those?" He said unsurely.

De ja vu.

Y/N smiled bitterly as she remembers almost the same moment of her and Jason, Alfred and Bruce had—with now. The same sentiment, feelings she's having but now it was different. It made her more....dejected. 

"I know I shouldn't be feeling....guilty about it, or feel like my mother's passing doesn't affect me, and that she'd be happy for me....It does affect me and I know she'd be happy for me...I know she would....but sometimes I just," she rambled, shaking her head. Trying to think of what to say, "I just....this feeling in me rising when I'm happy. I've dealt with this before or at least I thought so, it was still there then, I suppose.....I think this feeling....this guilt just came in again because of my realization...about your brother." Y/N confessed, her voice shaking as she spoke her heart out.

He didn't say anything for a few seconds, thinking of something right to say, then, "You deserve any joy that you feel despite that you're grieving, it's normal to feel bad about it but it's okay to be happy too." 

She remained silent, then closed their distance together and dropped her head on the side of his shoulder. 

"It's okay to be happy too." Y/N says out loud, echoing his words unsurely but still nodding, like assuring herself once again. He smiled down at her, "It's okay." Continued him. 

Sighing once again for how many, she doesn't know—and sat up straight. 

I need to take control of this. 

"I....," she started, caressing her face. "Jason...he...he's engaging, alluring even, I find myself irritated everytime I find him charming, yet I can't stop myself to....trifle with him." Y/N smiles softly, her mind back to those times-what was once disappointment was now replaced with amiableness. It was clear to her now that she did choose in that repeated times and she....didn't regret it. Yet, her clarity of this gave a new light. "And more than that, he's kind...lovely...how can I not like him so?.....But I can't pursue this rising feelings...I don't think I can right now." Her truth out yet again. Faith in her to be true to her declaration. 

Don't backfire. 

Dick looked up at the sky, gratified he was so much despite her saying she's overlooking her feelings for Jason. He was happy to hear such confession about his brother. If Bruce was here to hear this.....he grinned at the thought. 

"You don't have to do anything then," he shook his head, "I understand, I'm just glad you said something and maybe it helped you realize something." Says him truthfully. "And I apologize if I pushed too far or-" 

"Darling," Y/N interrupted him and his hand gestures with taking a hold of his one hand. "You suddenly taking back you annoying me?" she laughed, smirking. He chuckled, worry leaving his body. "You didn't push too far, I'm fine, I needed to let it out anyway. And it did help, I had few revelations, so there's that." She assured, squeezing his hand before letting it go gently. 

"We should go, I think we may have took our time too long." Y/N says, upon realizing the sky was in its setting colors. They both stood up from the bench and started to walk back. 

"Don't worry, I told them I wanted to talk to you, so they're probably just doing things to wait for us." 

"Really? Them waiting and not eavesdropping?" She teased. 

"I can be sincere and serious when I need to be. Them too." Dick says defensively. Y/N just shook her head, taking note of their behaviors to be usual for them. 

As she gazed at the sky, she can feel the heaviness that she's been carrying the past days wash away. The rustling of the leaves dancing with the wind, their footsteps making noise with the rocks. "Thank you." Y/N breaks their silence suddenly, "for everything again, I suppose." 

Dick smiled, though, there were sadness in it along with relief, sensing how their conversation affected her grievously. "Well, you can call me anytime if you need to shout again or anything." He chuckled. 

"I wasn't shouting-" 

"You were basically wailing and groaning." 

"And whose fault is that?" 

"Not mine." 

"I really hate you-hey, wait! After his loud laugh that you meant, we took our time reading, did you actually stayed there for a while?" 

"Well, I had my phone-" 

"Grayson!" 

"What? Someone has got to contribute to the family gossip." 

"Bloody hell." 

"You and your bloody hell." 

"Does Bruce know?" 

"Not gonna answer that." 

"How will I be able to look at him in his eyes?!" 

"Good luck with that." 

They continued their bickering until they reached the end of the wide range of the gardens. 

---------------------

"How was your time with them?" Alfred asked Y/N when they were now alone in the hallway after when he welcomed them home back again. 

"It was great, I've been in a few botanical gardens before but it was very beautiful there too," replied her, though she was thinking of something else. "Al....me and Dick had a talk, it was....quite serious to say the least." She chuckled, remembering of how silly they must have looked with their childish confrontation. 

"Ah." 

"And you already know, of course," sighed Y/N, her shoulders dropping as they walked and Alfred just chuckled gently. 

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," he assured but Y/N just grumbled something like, 'tell that to damn Grayson'. "I'm listening." He said, waiting for her to speak about it. 

Probably some of them too.

She rolled her eyes but dismissed the thought, knowing they know better than to test Alfred.

"Jason....uh...I-" she cut herself off by groaning, stretching her arms over her head, "It's so stupid, god, I feel like a teenager in high school." Y/N expressed, annoyed at herself.

They walked in the kitchen, ready to their usual doings that was starting to become a ritual. 

Alfred was joyful, nostalgia in him as he sees the struggling woman admit to her feelings. 

"I like him," Y/N says too quickly, falling on the floor and stood up again, she was beginning to get jumpy now, "See?" she whined, flinging her arms around. 

The fullness in Alfred's heart couldn't be.....more. He lets out a hearty laugh and began to work with her following. "No need to be so worry about it now," says him, seeing as she seemed felt like caught about it. 

"I'm not worried....I'm just, I don't know..I..." She stammered, shrugging. "Okay, maybe I am worried," she slumped.

God, I really do feel like a teenager.

Damn him.

"I presume you and Master Richard talked about what seems to be the problem about it?" Alfred proclaimed, there were no doubts in him that her dilemma got to her again.

"Yes.." she trailed off, Dick's words ringing in her ears. "He said that it's okay for me to be happy too."

"And he's right," he nodded to her. "It's not easy to let go of whatever guilt or shame we feel but do remember that as well, you deserve happiness despite of it all." 

She hums, nodding aimlessly, "I know...I know." Y/N let out a little laugh then, "I must sound like a broken record."

"That I don't mind to keep hearing about over and over again." Alfred smiles and she did as well. 

"What the world will come to without you, Alfred." She says, ever so thankful of her to him.

That they all feared too well. 

-----------------------

Jason is full of regret this time. So much of it. Regret that he started something not to be played with. Angry at himself. But most of all, vexation. Vexation because despite his regret, something stronger than it was brewing in him and it was beginning to grow and grow more; enthrallment. 

It all went under to him when his attention was caught by the tenderness of her at the funeral, that was supposed to be it. But then continued his observance of her that time, from her happy state that he thought was fake but he was wrong.

Then came that lively breakfast they had on her first morning in the manor. Their short time of mundaneness, her worried voice and stares, the laughter and smiles she got out from him. Of her baring out her emotions to him. 

Each time it was nothing much to him and thought of it nothing but how easy and warm it was. 

He hadn't realize yet then that was the beginning of his undoing. 

Late that he saw it. When he saw the glint of joy in her eyes before the family dinner started that night, the sound of her giggles, how he knew his eyes met her mirth as well,  how he was relieved when she walked out the kitchen because he needed to breathe. How he realized just how late he was. Then he smiled at her across the table before catching himself, how he saw her looking down while smiling, how adorable he thought it was. How the night became more lively for him.

His mind full of her then after that night.

How he felt joy when he heard her worried voice and saw her worried gaze when she asked of his hands. How he didn't stop his teasing, how something in him churned when she met his tone, how he wanted to see more of her irritated face.

When he saw her in the hallway with her yellow dress, how he couldn't take off his eyes of her then. He had seen her dressed up nicely before ever since she arrived but only then he found himself staring at her figure. How he noticed how nicely the fabric hugged her curves, the dress ending above her mid thighs, how he saw how full they were. How pleasing she was much in his eyes. But nothing then made him more amused when he saw her irritated face and voice again.

How it was comical to him when she cursed at him, how he noticed yet again her body, her becoming more inviting when she hugged her robes more, how he had to look away then. How the gaze of her in his eyes intimidated him, how he played it well so smugly even if his heart was starting to pound. How it felt so good to let out a big laughter like that again when she cursed at him with playful venom. How he saw her break out a smile while throwing daggers at him. The warmth he felt when they were both reading, how it felt like the fireplace wasn't contributing to the atmosphere but just because of the both of them. How he saw how pleasant she looked cozied in her chair. How surprised he was when she shared her own cup to him. He never thought to felt giddy again. How they were dancing with so much glee underneath the spite they fabricated. 

Oh, how he felt all those.

As each time that feeling grew, regret leveled to it because he knows enthrallment....that warmth in him keeps weighing more. 

Jason was many things, but naive was never one of them. Amidst of their moments, he knows. Because he saw her faltering when he smiled at her, he saw the heat in her face when they clashed, he saw the looks, her smiles, her flustered. How could he not know when he saw all of those, felt all of them, how he could he not when he saw himself through her eyes. 

So how could not regret drown him out? 

"What are you doing?" Jason spoke out loud, eyes far ahead to the night of the city. 

He grunted when he felt another presence, already knowing who that person is by the sounds that followed. "Don't you fucking speak." Jason taunted. 

"I-" 

"Shut up." 

Dick laughed, remembering Y/N, thinking of how a bit similar they are. Jason side glance him, sensing there was meaning behind it. But Dick didn't need to tell him that. 

"You've been......distracted," Dick says. 

"And it's none of your business." He replied immediately. 

Shit. 

Jason clicked his tongue. 

"So you have been," Dick confirmed, Jason didn't need to look at him to see there was a smile on his brother's face. "I'm just gonna assume I'm right that I'm thinking of what you're thinking as well." Dick couldn't be more smug today. 

"And what's that?" 

"About Y-" 

"Don't." 

"You asked." His brother shrugged. 

Jason started to walk away from him, not having the energy or want to talk about what he knows they will. "We're not gonna do this." He voiced out. 

"So what then? You're just gonna bottle all that up? Ignore it?" 

"Don't start," he replied little, his back turned to his sibling while putting his helmet back on. 

So be it then. 

Dick cursed to himself for what he was about to say. "I talked to her earlier, about you." He's really sorry about that one but he wanted to let his little brother know. 

Jason stopped before he could put his helmet on. "I don't need to be concerned about what you and her talked about." He was lying to himself but right now, his control is holding him. 

"Jay, cut the bullshit-" 

"And what then if I told you? What good would it fucking do?" Jason turned to Dick, gripping his helmet tightly. 

"Is it so bad to even just admit it? Even just to yourself?" Dick's challenging voice was now turning soft. 

Yes. 

Jason breathed out through his nose so deeply while his eyes closed, the clashing in his mind and resistance to his brother exhausted him, rather than what their vigilantism gave him tonight. 

Fuck. There's no point in denying it anymore. 

"Alright, I like her. That's that." Jason said simply but his heart was starting to thump again, the same feeling he's been having when she and him were around each other. 

And now I've fucking done it. 

Dick stayed silent for a few seconds, his lips curling a little. " Say something to irritate me and I will-" 

"Fine, I won't but as if you're not used to it anyway." Dick retorted. 

"You mean sick of it." Dick glared at him. 

Jason sighed and walked to the edge with his brother following. "So, you like her, that's that. So what? You're taking this too seriously and beating yourself up." Dick says flatly as if he wasn't pestering Jason about it just now. 

What the fuck. 

This was the last straw for him. Jason was the one who glared this time, "So I shouldn't take this seriously? You of all people know what this feels like, all of us in the family. To see someone from outside.....For fuck sake, I told Bruce that she can't be tied to this, to us....and now here I am admitting that I like her. I'm angry because this wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to be this affected but I am and that's the fucking problem. Every time I see her now, there's that feeling I want more. And I'm not damn blind to not know she's feeling the same and that's what bothers me more." Jason poured out the thoughts that's been eating him, his loud voice heated, rising and stopping all the while, chest rising and falling with his heavy heart beats that made him more restless. 

Goddammit. 

Was it that serious. 

"Way to boost your own ego there on the last part." Dick says, whistling. Jason didn't say anything but stared at him with so much wrath. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Yeah, I know, we know." He tells. Dick laid his hands on his waist and sighed, "And I do know. I understand you, what you're feeling. But I'm still someone that's happy for his brother because of it." He huffed at the last part, smiling. 

I know that well. 

Jason scoffed, "Like I could expect anything different." 

"And....I really just pissed you off just a bit so you could probably let that shit out." Dick admitted, not looking sorry at all but with just a flat expression. 

"Don't I fucking know it." Jason turned around, ready to leave yet again. 

"That's it then?" Dick asked. 

"That's it." 

"What then?" 

"Nothing." 

"So, you're just going to continue what you're both doing and nothing still?" 

"I've heard and said enough." 

"No such thing as enough drama for me."

"I'm sure there isn't." 

"You know-" 

"Is it too much to ask that I ask you to not pester me with this anymore?" 

"No promises." 

"Why did I bother?" 

"You really won't even ask what me and her talked about?" 

"I rather not." 

"She-" 

"Are you seriously gonna tell me even when you know it'll bother her if she found out that you did and that you literally have no right to?" 

"I was kidding. Great of you to say that by the way." 

"Bare fucking minimum." 

"You just keep surprising me and yet I don't expect any less from you anyway." 

"Shut up." 

Jason suddenly halted from all their running and whatnot. Upon realizing something. 

"Grayson. What do you mean 'we know'?" 

Dick halted as well, he was caught yet again. "You know nothing goes unnoticed by us," he shruggedwarily. 

"Who was in the hallway that time?" 

"I am not a snitch." 

"What the fuck? Was somebody there in the library too?" 

"It wasn't me."

"OH, DON'T FUCKING RUN NOW." 

Some Gothamites heard yelling, maybe a little bit of fighting. But what's new to them anyway?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

💌🖋️: saw the headcanons once that said the batkids are all nosy and up in everybody's business, and i so agree to it.

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ scenario: connor losing his mind when you're hurt and charging into the fight recklessly.

♡ pairing: connor kent ( superboy ) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / i'm sorry but i'm living for these angst to fluff moments rn especially bc i rewatched reign of the superman and forgot how much i loved connor in it.

Connor watched as you were completely slumped on the side of the building, no longer clear headed and struggling to stay awake. what was supposed to be a clean and easy mission turned out to be more than what the league expected.

he had requested for back up and while they were already trying to fight off the thugs that were attacking Connor, he could still see that you were fighting to stay alive and he had no idea if you were even going to come out of this fight alive.

"what the fuck?" Connor whispered, seeing you now slumped on the ground. he turned to the person who attacked you, eyes fully red with no intention of holding back. Clark could sense his song was a second away from committing murder as he saw Connor charge into the heart of the battle with no game plan, just murder.

"SUPERBOY NO!"

+

you waved shyly to the group of league members as you hid behind Wonder Woman. you were new to the scene of sidekicks and had no idea how to even introduce yourself without sounding like a complete idiot.

"woah new girl!" you heard a male voice say as you stood in your place petrified. you had no idea who it was as Diana had yet to individually introduce you to everyone, "i call dibs!" you heard the same voice say.

Diana turned to you before grabbing the boy who was charging towards you by the head and tossed him back to Superman, "she's not up for 'dibs' Superboy. she's my newest apprentice and you will treat her as such," she threatened.

you giggled behind her as a few of the sidekicks introduced themselves. you knew them as the Young Justice team and although you weren't formally with the team, you figured Diana was training you to become apart of them in the future.

"( your hero name ), this is Superboy," Wonder Woman said, "he associated to the Super family," she explained as he pushed up his dark circled glasses and flicked his hair back, "pleasure is all mine," he muttered, shaking your hand.

you returned a tiny smile before she continued to introduce you to Robin and Impulse. you noticed how Superboy kept his eyes on you. you had no idea if it was because he liked you or he disliked you but every time you turned to look at him, he was already staring at you.

after introductions and the cliche 'your real identity is sacred' conversation ended, Diana felt it was for your own good to get used to your new 'teammates'. she wanted you to make sure you weren't uncomfortable around any of the YJ team even if that included Superboy.

"so, what do you like to do for fun?" Wonder Girl asked, sitting down next to you and handing you a bowl of popcorn. you shrugged, "uh, not much. I like to watch tv and read for the most part. no one really invites me to do things with them," you admitted, scratching the back of your head.

she laughed, putting her arm around you, "well that ends today! we should all do something fun! how about we go to the county fair? doesn't that sound fun?" she asked. you shrugged, not really opposed to the idea, "I call all the rides with ( your hero name )!" Jinny replied.

you smiled, following her and Wonder Girl out the door as Robin, Impulse, and Superboy followed behind you. Robin looked at him, "you like her don't you?" he asked, already calculating the minute Connor had fallen in love with you.

"well she's apart of the team, i'd like to hope we'd all like her," he replied as Robin shook his head, "no, you get what i mean by that," Robin pressed as he could see Connor's face fall with realization. he didn't reply but he could tell what he was tell Connor's real answer through his face.

as they arrived to the fair, they all booked it to the first food stand they saw. Robin offering to pay for everyone being Bruce Wayne's son had its benefits. you ordered a simple coffee as you didn't want Robin to spend too much on everyone.

"what ride should we all get on first?" Jinny asked excitedly. you pointed to the tallest ride, it was one of those high rides that sat two people at the top and had them spinning around, "oh I can't do that. it's way too scary," both Keli and Jinny said.

Superboy smiled at you, "I'm down if you are," he said as he grabbed two tickets from the worker, "cool," you replied as the two of you walked to the line, sweat already building up from nervousness.

once they sat the two of you and made sure you were both buckled in, you stared at Superboy nervously as the ride started up and pulled you up before immediately starting to spin. you stared at Superboy, screaming for you life. you unintentionally grabbed his arms, not realizing you were holding onto him as you continued to yell.

Superboy chuckled, finding your reaction cute.

+

after the months passed and you finally grew closer to everyone on the team, you were particularly close with Jinny and Superboy. you and Jinny shared a lot of common interests as she showed you how to shoot a gun and Superboy...well, everyone could tell the two of you were just seconds away from actually dating.

you walked into the YJ lair, sipping on hot chocolates with Jinny as the weather was turning cold. she was cracking some cringe dad jokes, trying to make you laugh as you tried to contain from choking on the hot chocolate.

"hey, where we yall at?" Keli asked. you turned to Jinny before giggling, "just doing a few errands we had to run before I had patrol with Superboy," you said, not really clarifying on what you both were actually doing.

although everyone could see how much you liked Connor, Connor himself thought you had a thing with Jinny. he knew she was particularly close with you and felt as though he was practically competing with her for your attention.

"do you have my phone?" you asked Jinny as she dug into her pocket and handed it to you. you grabbed your phone before quickly snatching her hat and putting it on, "yee-haw," you giggled into the mirror as Jinny started chasing you down the halls.

as you turned a corner, you bumped into Superboy and fell flat on your ass, "oh, I'm sorry Superboy, I didn't see you there," you groaned as Jinny grabbed her had and put it back on her, "you've yee'd your last haw," she said, making you laugh harshly.

Superboy's eye couldn't help but twitch as he gave you his hand, "ready for patrol?" he asked sternly. you looked to Jinny who crept away from the angry Kryptonian and left you to deal with him, "yeah, let me just freshen up again and I'll meet you outside," you murmured, going into the bathroom.

you quickly used the bathroom before checking if you had everything. you opened the door and walked into the lair's common area. Connor had yet to drop the angry attitude and everyone was eerily silent as you walked in. he grabbed you by the arm and practically rushed you out the door.

"weird," Jinny told Robin as he shrugged, "what isn't weird about him," he replied making everyone laugh.

patrol started extremely awkward. you hadn't felt this weird since you first started on the team and you had no idea what was wrong with Superboy since he wasn't telling you.

the two of you walked on top of roof, scanning the empty roads before you turned to look at him, "what's up? you seem bothered," you asked him as you both sat on the ledge, "seriously? you seem annoyed at me or something so at the very least you can try and tell me what's wrong," you pressured again.

he looked at you with eyes of determination before grabbing you by the collar of the shirt and pulling you into a very heated kiss. you were taken back by surprise but let him continue to kiss you. a part of yelled at Connor pulled you close but another part of him was still screaming at him that you still could've liked Jinny.

"I had to do that before Jinny officially took you away from me," your eyes fluttered in confusion, "uh, what do you mean by 'take you away from me'?" you asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

Connor sighed in frustration, "I see the way you're around Jinny and figured that she likes you and vice versa," he finally admitted as he stood up, not wanting to hear your response. you quickly stood up and grabbed him by the wrist, "hey wait," you said.

he stared at you, "I'm really not in the mood to get rejected ( your hero name )," he ran his fingers through his hair annoyed. you shook your head, "I don't like Jinny nor does she like me. we're just really close friends Superboy," you whispered, bringing him into another kiss.

this time, he was the one taken back but he melted into the kiss, all his negative emotions washing away as you continued to kiss him. he wrapped his arms around your waist as you him in closer by the neck. Connor was definitely not expecting this tonight.

"so does this mean that we're like....together together?" you asked playfully shy. Connor let out a laugh before lacing your hands together, "clearly. I can't let Jinny steal you away from me," he jokingly replied.

+

Connor ran to the three different henchmen as his strength was to the point of killing, not caring if he died in the process. he was recklessly dodging bullets, knowing they wouldn't do anything to him. he grabbed the first man and threw him against a wall as it collapsed around him. Connor only hoping that it did enough damage to unalive him.

the second one he managed to choke him out enough to the point where he passed out but that wasn't enough for him. you were on the brink of death and if he had to see you die, he was going to make sure the men who possibly killed you got what they deserved.

"SUPERBOY!" he heard his father scream again. Connor paid no attention to him as he grabbed the third henchman and slammed him to the ground, throwing punches left and right, "listen to me," Clark screamed at him.

he could see the tears coming down Connor's face as anger, fear, and sadness clouded his mind, "this is not you! pull out of it!" he yelled, shaking Connor's shoulder, "you're about to kill this man. I get that you're angry but you don't get anything out of hurting him. all you get it consequences and your girlfriend needs you right now more than ever!" he continued.

Connor finally shook himself out of his trance as he heard his dad telling him to go to you. Connor nodded and ran to you, seeing you unconscious and hardly breathing, "I'm taking her to the hospital," he yelled to Batman before hauling your body into his arms and flying towards the nearest hospital.

once he finally reached the emergency doors, he shoved everyone out of his way and to the front desk, "she needs help...NOW!" he yelled to the poor receptionist. the girl jumped up from fear but nodded and screamed for a bed and a few doctors.

the doctor asked Connor to place you on the bed before the doctor told him that he could follow them inside. a part of Connor wanted to straight up move the doctor to follow you into the OR but he knew that he'd get into more trouble with his dad and the MPD if he hurt anyone else.

for what felt like hours, he was waiting inside of the room they had told him you'd be in once you got out of surgery. he had already gotten the lecture from his dad about the consequences he would've gotten if he actually managed to kill the three men earlier.

"she's going to make it," the doctor told Connor as he walked into the room while they adjusted you to the bed. Connor nodded, "she'll be out of duty for months. she sustained a lot of injuries to her body that'll take weeks to recover and she got a nasty concussion so you'll need to play doctor for the next few weeks to make sure she's okay," he explained.

Connor nodded as the doctor told him that you should be waking up within the next few hours. Connor adjusted himself on the seat and got comfortable as he had no intentions of leaving your side until you were awake and ready to leave the hospital.

you woke up a few hours later, your body killing you from all over as you saw balloons all around the room. you knew you had landed in the hospital but you had no idea how long you were asleep or in a coma even. you turned to see Connor passed out next to you, his body slumped awkwardly.

"Kon, Kon wake up!" you whispered, shaking him softly. Connor jumped up in a fright as he immediately realized you were awake, "how do you feel? are you okay? do you need anything?" he immediately asked as you couldn't help but laugh at his frantic attitude.

"Connor, I'm okay, I promise," you whispered as you brought him in for a kiss, "my body just hurts and i'm still kinda tired," you murmured as Connor nodded. you managed to wiggle yourself enough to make space for him, "babe, it looks like you haven't slept in days."

"I had to make sure you were okay so i haven't exactly slept in a while," he admitted sheepishly. you shook your head, "you're too much sometimes," you giggled as you put your head on his shoulder, "but you love me regardless," he replied.

this was the first time the L word had came up in the relationship, "yeah, I guess I do but now you need to sleep," you said as you closed your eyes and felt Connor pull you closer to him, "I love you too by the way," you whispered, giving him another kiss on his partially exposed chest.

[gakkubi]

Ame Trio Analysis: Konan

I want to share some thoughts on the Ame Trio/Ame Orphans because I do think they have one of the most complex, interesting and beautiful arcs in the Narutoverse. I will discuss their personalities and thoughts. This post is about Konan, there are also Yahiko and Nagato. (3/3): I'll end with Konan because she's the one who lives the longer and is impacted by both Yahiko and Nagato's death.

KONAN:

Also available in Russian: ссылка на русский перевод

Konan is possibly the hardest character to analyse because her stand-alone arc is the last one to appear, and the story doesn't dwell on her ideals and motivations until the very end - despite that, it's my personal belief she's one of the best female characters developed in the series. With a few exceptions, female characters in the Narutoverse will usually take the position of supporting the male characters - but unlike most of the other women, Konan's position of support actually makes sense with her character.

A person not being the "original creator" of the philosophy they follow or joining other characters to achieve a common goal does not mean they don't have a mind or will of their own; Konan is just as free to make her own decisions as the other characters.

While Yahiko takes the role of "fallen hero" and Nagato is the "unwilling protagonist", Konan is the ever-present observer; she's the last one to take the spotlight in the Ame Trio storyline, and with her, the last open ends are closed. Konan is the element which endured throughout all of the Ame Trio's different phases, from their start to their brightest and darkest points until the very end. She's the Angel, the one who will carry and reinforce the will she has received.

Konan has a moral trait which makes her strikingly different from Yahiko and Nagato; she is not loyal to abstract ideals, but rather concrete ones. Even though Yahiko and Nagato eventually digress on their philosophies, both dedicate their lives to the pursuit of peace and give up their lives to guarantee the survival of their goal, as abstract as it may be.

Konan, on the other hand, is loyal to people; of course she had beliefs of her own, but they mostly come from a local perspective, not a universal one. She's loyal to Amegakure; to her country, to her people, her citizens, her friends.

It's heavily implied in the story (more in the anime than the manga) that the people of Amegakure held her in high esteem (perhaps even more than they held Pain himself). This shines a new light on Konan, who early on the story was just an unknown villain of the Akatsuki - in fact, we come to learn most of the important aspects of her personality lie outside of the classic, evil Akatsuki.

To understand Konan it's important to understand the Ame Trio's dynamic as a whole; it's fundamental to consider that, just like Nagato, Konan owes her life to Yahiko's fierce will of surviving- her backstory alone with Yahiko is never shown but it's heavily implied that she was just as dependent on him as Nagato was. Like Nagato, her personality is much more passive and quiet until provoked.

Both Konan and Nagato were Yahiko's followers, and they were happy that way - they believed in his dream and his philosophy and found in the Akatsuki the meaning of their lives. It's important to understand that Yahiko's goals are also her goals, regardless if she was the one who created them or not; it's better to say he first inspired her into creating such dreams for herself.

Many other (very popular and loved) characters in the Naruto universe follow dreams and philosophies not originally created by themselves and are not perceived as mere "followers without opinion" like Konan sometimes is.

A common reason for the misunderstanding of Konan's character to claim she has no will of her own is that she continued to support Nagato even though he suffers an immense personality and philosophical shift after Yahiko's death. It's often wondered why Konan decided to stay by Nagato's side after Yahiko's death despite his radical change, and it's often associated with her having no ideas of her own. This is not true; the story builds a very logical and realistic reason for her to continue supporting him regardless of her truly agreeing with his new peace philosophy.

Very much like Nagato, Konan saw the people she loved and her reasons to live be taken away from her twice. The first time, it was Yahiko who gave both of them meaning and direction; the second time Nagato and Konan found themselves having nothing again - all they had was the legacy Jiraiya and Yahiko left behind.

Konan's life was saved by Yahiko twice; first when he helped her survive and second when he sacrificed himself so she could escape Hanzo's trap. It's important to realize the reason why Hanzo could trap Yahiko and Nagato is that they captured her first; although we have no evidence for this, it's possible Konan also felt guilt for "giving" the enemy a token to which they could manipulate Yahiko into obedience.

Yahiko being a key factor on her survival (both physical and mental) and her feeling responsible for his death are both factors that could result in her feeling immense guilt and a sense of debt with him. Like Nagato, Konan couldn't just let Yahiko's death be pointless after giving up his life for them.

Any reasonable person would have their hope shaken after seeing Yahiko get killed after his "non-violence, mutual understanding" philosophy failed. It would take an enormous endurance and faith to lose a person who she loved and keep on trying the same thing with the hope that "next time things will work as intended." Perhaps, things would never work as Yahiko imagined - perhaps his original plan needed adaptations.

However, unlike Nagato, Konan hadn't been conditioned by either Jiraiya or Yahiko to think that she was the one who would find the key to peace; she didn't spend her life pressured by the responsibility of coming up with a plan. Nagato was the one who the former leaders trusted would find the answer to end all the wars - and he stepped up to continue the "plan to peace" with his new ideas of how to get there.

And there's yet another important factor in all this; Yahiko had left her with a mission - the mission of supporting Nagato. The conversation where Yahiko entitles her with the responsibility of being by Nagato's side is highlighted in her fight against Obito to tell us, the audience, why Konan is so determined to help Naruto now - her mission of protecting the "savior of the world", originally given by Yahiko, had been transferred from supporting Nagato to Naruto.

Once we see the perspective of her feeling like she was in debt with Yahiko for saving her life twice - and adding love and guilt to the mixture, which makes it much harder for reason to overpower emotion -, it's easy to see why it could be hard to nearly impossible for her to dismiss the last mission she could actually complete; following Yahiko's will was a way of still being connected to him after he was gone.

Both Nagato and Konan nearly lost the meaning of their lives when Yahiko was killed and the original Akatsuki destroyed - both clinged to what they had left. Neither ever had a proper environment to deal with the grief they felt, a grief that echoed a childhood trauma that shaped all of their lives.

All of these factors are reasons why it would be hard for Konan to look objectively at what she was doing by supporting Nagato's new philosophy; however, Konan wasn't just guilt trapped into being by his side.

Konan, as I stated before, is much more pragmatic than her counterparts; she's loyal to what is hers - her friends, her nation. Even if we ignore the guilt or the "mission", it's safe to assume she would have stayed by his side anyway; Nagato was all the family she had left, and she was loyal to what was hers above all else.

Perhaps, if the mental conditions weren't so harsh, Konan could have resisted or opposed some of Nagato's new radical ideas more than she already did - debated with him, perhaps they could have convinced each other to stay in Yahiko's path. In the anime, Obito even says he relied on Konan for "calming" Nagato, which tells us that she reasoned with him to some extent - however, neither of them were able to keep their pain from overriding the morals they previously had.

Konan has a mind of her own, and it's shown to us in the moments where she disagrees either visually or verbally with Nagato's actions; Jiraiya's death, Konoha's destruction and the conversation with Naruto are moments where she confronts him. She is shown disagreeing with Nagato on multiple instances, which is proof that she felt she could voice her discontent with him - that she didn't feel completely trapped by guilt or that all she had to do was simply obey him; she was not just a voiceless "Angel" obeying her "God." We're also shown that Nagato disregards many of her opinions - by the time he becomes a villain, he is extremely narcissistic and confident in his hability to make the right choice - but that doesn't keep her from voicing her disagreement anyway.

It's not clear to us, the audience, how much Konan was hurt by Nagato's disregard (we're shown she is uncomfortable to some extent); it's the combination of her guilt, Yahiko's "mission" and her own faith in Nagato's plan that keeps her following their goal.

All the members of the Ame Trio value the search for peace above everything else, each in their own particular way.

Unlike Nagato, Konan has a much clear and objective way of thinking, interested only in what will serve them to achieve their goal and dismissing everything else that will not be useful.

Konan is never shown having any interest whatsoever in the other members of the Akatsuki (she never engages in the conversations they have), in the people of Konoha (which is why she condones wasting energy on being violent with them) or even in what Naruto has to say. All that she cares about is what is hers - her nation, her family; she's completely indifferent to everything else.

(That being said, I must note we don't know how her relationships with the other Akatsuki work as it would be impossible for her to spend almost 20 years without interacting with the other members. One of Konan's most important traits is her kindness, so it's "in character" to assume she would treat them respectfully and kindly, being fond of them to some extent; it's also safe to assume she didn't care about them at all, given her behavior in the manga. I think both interpretations are equally canonical because they lean on different aspects of her personality to fill a backstory we're never shown).

Although Konan is never shown being especially inclined to violence, her indifference and disergard for everything that is not hers - together with her own belief on Nagato's plan and the suffering which she endured - allows her to be the cold-blooded leader and killer she eventually becomes.

Konan believed in Nagato - like both Jiraiya and Yahiko did - while recognizing his flaws. When Naruto received recognition and acceptance from Nagato, he was incorporated to Konan's definition of what is "hers"; she aligns him in a sequence of "saviors" who she believed, a sequence that began with Yahiko and continued with Nagato. She makes the conscious decision of giving up her life for her dream of peace as Yahiko and Nagato have done before her.

Obito is the example of a person who Konan never incorporated on what is "hers" - this is clear on their fight where she says she studied his moves and his powers all the years they have worked together, and also clear on the passive-aggressive conversation they have after Jiraiya's death (Chapter 407). The way their relationship works - especially considering that she spent approximately half of her life working with him - also shows that Konan doesn't blindly support other characters for the sake of supporting them; for all we know, she trusted him much less than Nagato did.

It's also in Konan's fight with him that we see her analytical intelligence at full bloom - I dare say she is the most intelligent of the trio when it comes to strategy; first, for not ever truly trusting Obito to begin with (possibly because Yahiko also didn't), and second for being able to set a strategy that effectively killed him (hence why he used Izanagi - he was killed by her) with information based on her own observations.

Konan is extremely careful and precise; she pays incredible attention to detail, being able to draw accurate conclusions after analyzing just a little information.

Konan isn't ever shown to be hateful or angry, with the exception of her encounter with Jiraiya, where she treats him with spite, taunting him with the idea that following Orochimaru's suggestion could have avoided all the trouble he was going through with the Akatsuki. It's one of the few times we see Konan treating anyone in a way that is not kind or neutral, as if she held some type of resentment against Jiraiya - I like to think she blamed him, in a way or another, for not preparing them well enough for the cruelty of the world; for letting them be so naïve that Yahiko could be killed in a trap easily avoidable. It's obvious that Konan still held Jiraiya in some regard as it's easier for people to lash out on those who they like the most - after many years interacting with people to whom she was completely indifferent (outside of Nagato), Konan was finally talking to a person she had feelings for.

She is also - as described by Jiraiya and also viewed on the characters memories - a very kind, gentle, caring person; the very fact that she chose to save Nagato by sharing food with him shows her predisposition to helping others. Her kindness wasn't lost after Yahiko's death, but mostly replaced by the indifference she felt at everything that did not contemplate her goals, her family or her nation. After she accepts Naruto as being "one of her own" and sharing goals with him, she's quick to display kindness towards him and indirectly make amends with Jiraiya in the process.

As quiet, introspective person, Konan is very self-sufficient; although she is a member of the Akatsuki, she only interacts with them when necessary, probably spending most of her time alone or caring for Amegakure's business (as she shared both Akatsuki and Amegakure's leadership with Nagato and he was more active with the Akatsuki, it's safe to assume she cared for the other half). Her quiet, calmer nature matches that of Nagato; they could find understanding by having similar thought processes and also having a harder time processing their feelings, finding sympathy and comfort in each other.

Although I have mentioned that Konan might have felt a sense of debt towards Yahiko for saving her life, I want to highlight I see this feelings as possible only after his death because of its traumatizing circumstances; I don't think she felt she owed him anything while they were all alive, especially because it's never shown that he ever demanded such recognition. Yahiko and Konan have very distinct energies and personalities that complete each other, their relationship has a strong foundation because they share the same core beliefs and traits; loyalty and faith. I can see her falling in love with him for many reasons and one of them being by her admiring how hard he works to achieve the goal of peace.

Konan is a person that feels gentle and kind towards life as a whole; she doesn't seem to need much to be happy - as a child she made origami to pass time and have fun (and eventually used her intelligence to turn her passion into power); as an adult, the anime dedicates a scene to show her smiling to the rain while thinking of happy memories - happy for the sake of being in peace with the new direction she was taking her life after she and Nagato found someone to believe in again.

(Edit: Unfortunately I could not add another image to the post to illustrate this comment, but I wanted to talk about one aspect of Konan's personality that I like a lot and also forgot to mention. Despite her collected and serious demeanor, she also has a tendency to taunt people, a bit similar to Nagato's taste for ironic jokes. This is shown just a few times. In chapter 373, when Yahiko says he will save Nagato the next time something happens, Konan makes fun of him by remarking that Nagato is actually stronger than him, and she laughs when he gets annoyed. As I showed before, she also provokes Jiraiya with the hypothesis of things being better if Orochimaru had killed them. In her fight with Obito, despite his clear disinterest in what she was saying, Konan goes on to explain why Nagato and her betrayed him, and why he will never win. During the Water on a Frog's Face Training with Jiraiya she's also shown laughing at Yahiko's clumsiness. In my opinion, the way she evidently enjoys herself when she mocks people is strikingly contrasting to her generally unaffected personality, and personally I like that most of those times Yahiko was involved. Both in the anime, because of the animation, and in the manga because of Yahiko's surprise, I'm also under the impression that she was the one to initiate their kiss).

All of the Rain Trio's characters have very distinct and interesting psychologies; personally, I find Konan to be the most complex one because of the extreme discrepancies she displays, sometimes warm and kind, sometimes extremely cold and indifferent. I think the way she seems to only care about a very limited aspect of things is very attractive, as it shows how focused she is on her goals - as a nonviolent person, the most cruel act of Konan as a villain comes from her apathy to everyone else that is not part of what is "hers." Unlike Nagato and most of the other members of the Akatsuki who actively indulge in vile acts, she simply pursues her goals, removing anything and anyone on her way.

When he watch Konan's childhood, we see a child that is kind and light-hearted despite of all the pain she has endured, and only after being inflicted by yet another wave of suffering Konan's empathy and hope are shaken to the core; however, we learn her feelings were not dead but rather dormant, and it's by reconnecting to her core traits and beliefs that she finally finds peace in the very end.

[wolfjackle]

Number 12 for the happy fic writer prompt!

From this ask game!

12. What is your favorite theme/subject matter/trope/ship to write about? Why?

Ok, so I had to think about this one for a bit. Which surprised me. At first I was going to say found family or hurt/comfort with a focus on comfort, but that's not really it. They're part of it, but not the central theme.

What I like to write about is someone facing a problem then overcoming it. Especially if the problem is because someone else failed them, though that's not strictly necessary. And wow, does that say a lot about me and reflect way too much about the world around us.

And buckle in, because I am going to to into way too much detail! My love for this theme is obvious if you know what sort of media I love the most. Lord of the Rings, Fullmetal Alchemist, every Tamora Pierce book ever.

I love stories where someone looks around, realizes "this is right," and decides to fix it. Even though it's not their fault. Especially when there's no particular reason anyone should expect them to fix it. But then they do.

This can be an internal conflict. The Good Omens epic I'm working on will involve a lot of internal conflict. (External, too.) For those who don't know, it's a Crowley-was-Raphael fic. Through it, Crowley has to come to terms with his abandonment by his mother (God) and betrayal by his siblings. Aziraphale had to contend with exile from Heaven and his attempts to prove himself worthy of their acceptance again. His journey involves recognizing that Heaven isn't perfect and he doesn't need their approval. Both of them have to do as they did in the book/show and stand together with Humanity against both Heaven and Hell.

In the fic I've published, Crowley is the Pied Piper. The kids have been abandoned by their parents due to events outside of everyone's control and they are determined to save as many of their peers as possible. They accept Crowley's offer of assistance to escape and build new lives for themselves.

In some of the original works I have plotted, it's the same story. In one, magic is draining away from the world and the adults are all too busy trying to keep their people alive to spend any time figuring out the problem. Two girls of magic birth, one raised in ignorance, one raised with the secret knowledge of a lost home, end up claiming their birthrights. They become the leaders of the seelie and unseelie courts and figure out how to bring magic back, thus saving both the human and magical worlds. They didn't break anything, that was the grandfather of the unseelie heir, but they had the knowledge and opportunity and took it.

So yeah, I love writing stories where the lead doesn't shy away when they're presented with a problem and realize they can fix it. Especially if there's no reason they should be expected to fix it.

Sorry this went so long! Thank you so much for this ask! Imma tag @greensword101 and @isalisewrites because I feel like this explains a lot about me.

[neurodihuegent]

[PART ONE] Huey's character development: season 1 to season 3.

with ducktales 2017 coming to a close in less than two weeks, i thought that now was best of all times to create a post of how i think huey has developed as a character throughout all three seasons. please remember, this post is just based on how I see his character development, and you're free to have your own ideas and/or not agree with all of my points!

1.) learning to adjust to new environments/accepting failures: When we were first introduced to huey's character, one of the biggest take aways was that he's a very "by the book" kind of a person, and has a hard time adjusting to foreign environments or situations that he will need to go with the flow and what he already knows, rather than doing everything by the book.

This was mainly introduced in "The Terror of the Terrafirmians!" in season one, where we could literally see Huey scrambling to make sense of the situation, and at some points, spouting out B.S. to make sense of the situation in his head. While he did end up coming to terms that the Terrafirmians are in fact, very real, he still only decided to believe it once it was documented in his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook.

Progressively throughout the show, we see Huey being put in situations where he has to be able to think quick on his feet rather than anxiously try to sort out all that he knows from the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook. Because of his personality, Huey not only had a hard time adjusting to foreign environments, but it's also been shown that he has a hard time accepting set backs as well. From what we've seen, it's easy to infer that when Huey has his mind set on something, he will do nothing short of achieving that goal: And when said goal is not achieved, or is starting to look like it won't be achieved, he takes it very personally.

This is especially seen in "The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!" and "The Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchuck!": Where in "The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks", even though Huey was definitely more qualified for the position by a significant amount, when Dewey got the position, his first instinct was to get angry instead of congratulate his brother: Granted, Dewey wasn't completely deserving of the position over Huey, and at this point, Huey was just a kid still learning how to manage his emotions, but his instictive reaction tells a lot about his character at the time. Thankfully, we see this progress with "The Challenfe of the Senior Junior Woodchuck!", where Huey is once again put in a situation where the odds were against him, considering that this time around, Violet was more qualified and prepared for the position than he was. At first, Huey does take this badly, getting super anxious that he'll have to do a challenging, dangerous course that no 11-12 year old probably should be doing, on his lonesome without even the help of the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook, which has been shown to be a source of comfort for Huey. At one point, he is only surviving through the course by creating a talking Junior Woodchuck Guidebook in his head, but even that goes south as he gets so overwhelmed and anxious to the point where he sets it on fire in his head. Eventually, noticing how far he's fallen behind Violet, and realizing how deserving she is of the title over him despite his love for everything Junior Woodchucks, he is able to come to terms with the fact that he lost, and instead of getting upset or beating himself up for it, he gracefully allows her to be announced as the winner, and shows her his full support. This is meaningful, because if this was season 1 Huey, we honestly can not say that his reaction to his loss would've been the same: He probably would've gotten a lot more upset about it than he actually did in season 3.

"Quack Pack!", despite somewhat being more of a comedic episode, also sheds light on how Huey's learned to adjust with a change in environment: He was the first character (other than Donald, who was fully aware) to pick up on the fact that they are in an alternate universe, set inside of a 1990s sitcom, and becomes increasingly anxious about it as a result, especially since everyone was pretty much oblivious of it at first. However despite this, when the family confronts Donald about the wish, while Donald does make a compelling point of how this scenario gives them a sense of normalcy and security, Huey also brings up the fact that despite the hardships they may face, adventuring is an integral part of their new found family. Even though Huey has always been pretty enthusiastic about adventuring, especially in comparison to Louie and pre-season 3 Donald, there has been times where adventuring has caused him anxiety due to being confronted with new settings or situations that he doesn't immediately know how to handle, so considering this, I think that line alone has shown the great improvement Huey has made with adjusting.

2.) embracing "The Duke": in the first two seasons, while we always had somewhat of an idea that huey was the triplet that inherited the infamous McDuck anger, "The Duke" wasn't something that was necessarily explored much in the first two seasons, leading people to believe that it was just for comedic plot. However, in season 3, we finally got an image of what "The Duke" actually is and represents, alongside with how Huey truly feels about this side of him.

Based on my perception of "The Split Sword of Swanstantine", Huey sees The Duke as an entire separate entity from himself rather than just how far his anger can really go, decides to completely reject this side and keep it locked away in his brain. Of course, we've had our early season moments where The Duke "slipped out", but for the most part, leading up to The Split Sword of Swanstantine, we never really got a full glimpse of what exactly the Duke is: and given his personality, it makes sense as to why Huey was rejecting this side of him instead. Not only does The Duke represent one of Huey's most vulnerable states, but knowing how far his anger can go, goes completely against the side of his personality that he does allow to shine: Being orderly, being well put together, and being the brain of his sibling trio, which being blinded by anger would all deter. Despite the strength that embracing his anger gives him, Huey obviously still sees it as a weakness, because it's the side of him he doesn't want people to see, especially those closest to him, because before the events of The Split Sword, Huey didn't exactly have the greatest control of his anger, so while nobody would want to think of it, no one knows how far he could really go if he's pissed enough.

However, thanks to the encouragement of Lena, Huey was finally able to embrace that side of him, and fully gain control over his anger which is something we don't typically see with the infamous McDuck Anger, given that the only way he could defeat Steelbeak who had an obvious advantage, was to tap into his true strength. The biggest takeaway Huey got from this situation, is that his anger shouldn't be treated as if it's a separate entity, or as if it's something to be embarassed of, but to truly embrace that side of himself, and learn how to control it, all things that he was able to accomplish by the end of "The Split Sword of Swanstantine".

3.) building new relationships:

Since season one, it's been hinted that Huey does struggle a bit on the friendship aspect of things. He does have very close relationships with his brothers and Webby, but even these can be hindered by clashing personalities and differing interests. Even though it's fairly obvious that HDLW all love and support each other like family, Huey has never really exactly been shown to have a bond with someone where he shares completely similar interests: Now, this isn't really important in friendship, often times opposites attract even down to the friendship aspect, but it is nice to have someone where you can just sit and chat about similar interests, and do stuff together that you'll both enjoy.

The first time we've gotten a hint at Huey struggling with making friends was in "The Day of the Only Child!", where, if the Beagle Brothers didn't show up, Huey would've been out of luck with finding two other participants for the three-man cookout, considering that everyone else was already paired up and Louie and Dewey were already off doing their own things for the day. Also hinted in that same episode, is the fact that Huey make struggle with loneliness as well (Huey "Be horribly alone." Dewey: "For once!"), given that he's spent most if not all of his life constantly with his brothers and Donald, so even if him and his brothers did have fall outs every here and there, he could always rely on them to be there given that outside of them, he didn't rely have any other friends.

Now, this somewhat turns around in season 2, when we're introduced to Fenton, who Huey not only idolizes as Gizmoduck, but looks at like a genuine best friend and most likely, as an older brother figure. Besides Huey's admiration of Gizmoduck, it's been shown that they bond over their similar interest in science, and in general, Huey is constantly looking out for Fenton and always wanting to protect his best friend from any danger or hurt that he himself can prevent. Despite Fenton undoubtedly being Huey's closest friend, I think that it's also important to shed light on the friendships that he's made that are more in his age group.

Following the events of Astro BOYD!, we are introduced to Boyd and Huey's friendship, two characters that existed in the show prior but never had any interactions. Huey and Boyd bond over their interest in the Junior Woodchucks, something that we once again see Huey get backlash for from his fellow Woodchucks, for being too "by the book" and not just "relaxing and being a kid" (even going as far to label him as a "robot"). Even in Boyd's malfunctioning, Huey is determined to stay by his side until the end, not only because of their shared interests and the bonding they began to do at the very beginning of the episode, but also because Huey understood what it was like to be cast away and treated as less just for being different (or in Huey's words, "wired a little differently"). Even though Fenton is Huey's closest friend by a margin, I would consider Boyd's friendship with him really meaningful, at least given the circumstances of how they became friends in the first place: Two people who were cast aside, for not being what society considered the "perfect/normal kid", and instead of people working with them, they were just cast aside easily. Considering how fast Huey probably had to grow up given the circumstances of living with Donald who, despite being an amazing father figure, dealt with poverty pretty often, it's no wonder why he's very mature for his age and very "by the book", but it's also no wonder why kids who probably didn't have to grow up with those circumstances, would easily be turned off. Louie and Dewey are a lot more understanding considering they grew up in the same setting, but even they dealt with it differently, often leading to their personalities clashing, which is even lampshaded in this episode as another insecurity of Huey's when building relationships ("Are you sure you want me to continue? My brothers are usually *begging* me to stop.).

We're also introduced to another friendship at the very beginning of season three, with Violet. Even though at the beginning, things were a bit rocky considering how anxious Huey was getting from the Senior Woodchuck competition, and his determination to beat Violet, even to the point of leaving him behind when she probably needed him the most, by the end of the episode, we see both Violet and Huey not only reconcile, but start to actually bond. During this high stress situation, Violet was a great source of relief for Huey, using her own experiences of failure to inspire Huey to not give up, and that even if he does lose (which he did) in this specific situation, there'll be more opportunities because he is great when it comes to the Junior Woodchucks. Even when Violet wins, instead of being bitter which would definitely be expected considering that Huey is a child and how much he was anticipating winning, he is able to put his grievances aside and congratulate her because she helped him greatly during a point of weakness. Even if Violet and Huey's friendship didn't end up as closeknit as his and Boyd's, or as prominent as his and Fenton's, I think this was still a meaningful connection for him as Violet was great balance for the anxiety that he was feeling at the time, and despite him leaving her behind, she beared no ill will towards him.

This is only the first part, where I examined what I felt were the key component to his character development over the last three seasons, and the next post will focus on other aspects that weren't as focused on during the series!