#so he's a substitute teacher

[teethburger]

you know what I would really like to see from a season 2 of a new wish?

an episode/multiple episode arc where peri tries out human life with his parents and he’s super anxious and trying to do everything exactly right, while cosmo and wanda are way more lenient

(im imagining a scene where cosmo is dancing in the supermarket and peri is like “NO DAD YOURE GONNA GET US FOUND OUT” (to outsiders it just looks like a teenager getting embarrassed by his dad))

and eventually he learns that it’s okay to be weird and awkward and silly sometimes and making mistakes is actually more human than painstakingly following social rules all the time

[queen-boudicca]

[guinevereslancelot]

fifth graders will look you right in the eye and say shit like "crap isn't a swear word" and "well our teacher lets us say it" and "no, mr. [name] says crap all the time and he lets us say it"

[coachbeards]

beard being notoriously bad at giving interviews not because he's this standoffish reserved guy, but because he will rant about the most random things......yeah

[vitamin-zeeth]

I FORGOT SHES 16 OH GOD OH FUCK ALL HER BOYFRIENDS ARE ADULT MEN ITS ALL COMING BACK TO ME NOW SHITTTTTT

[britneyshakespeare]

i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

[thatlittledandere]

I love learning about regional differences within countries or even regions. It's an American internet so even I know that New Yorkers are on a whole 'nother level of exceptionalism and being from Brooklyn specifically Means Something. Tell me, how does the rest of Brazil feel about people from Rio? What sets the Quebecuois apart, aside from speaking French? Does South Africa have stereotypes about people speaking all the different languages they have? Does being closer to North or South America mean something in Mexico? Italy hasn't been one cohesive country for very long, how shattered is it still? Etc etc etc tell me about regional stereotypes in your dear homeland Ethiopia make it a fight if you have to. I want to HEAR

[jacksintention]

Oz in his Negan era

[laplacesdevil]

a little sequel to a couple of doodles i did on twt w sopping wet vance! ft updated gs/d'angelo design

[born-to-lose]

Applying for a teaching job at my former school out of spite

[iown4tshirts]

i was reaaally nice and didn’t strangle anyone today<3

[darudedogestorm]

There has to be some sort of study done on the beef elementary school teachers will have with their literally single digits aged students. Why are they like that

[agentemo]

As I recall, the only way to win the game is to not know you're playing. By telling people about it, you are adding more losers to the pool.

Thanks, OP!

It's come to my attention that a good portion of the younger generation has not been made aware of one of the greatest and most hated PILLARS of millennial society.

So I apologize, but I must take on this task. A new hand must touch the beacon. The knowledge must be passed on. The chain can not be broken.

So.

The Game.

The following are the rules of The Game:

there is no winning The Game

once you know of The Game, you are always playing the game

the point of The Game is to not think about The Game

if you think about The Game, you have lost The Game, and must announce this to those around you - causing them to also lose The Game

A "reset period" of roughly an hour or two before loss announcements is common in colloquial rules to allow yourself and those around you to properly temporarily "forget" about The Game, however that is not an official rule.

Go forth, you next generation, and I am sorry.

[louies-lustyard]

yeah ok your cool but I know someone who helped work in Hannibal

[a-passing-storm]

Also! Sorry, I am in a Rambling Mood! According to the substitute teacher, one of my teachers described me as his most intelligent student, and I'm like... I would be lying if I said that it did not go straight to my head, but I also think it's super weird and fucked up if he did say that, but I also really doubt that he did. I imagine he said something like "they have the highest grade in the class" or "they have shown the most demonstrated interest in the class," (<- still skeptical about that one, because it's subjective), but like... Wild. I want to ask him about it, because it went straight to my head because I'm really curious about what he actually said, but I don't think it's a thing I could Bring Up.

[chongoblog]

THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE WAYSIDE SCHOOL BOOKS WITH NO CONTEXT

The blueprints were sideways, so now the school is 30 stories tall

They forgot to add the 19th floor, where Miss Zarves teaches.

Elevators are installed to deal with the long climb. They are only used once and can never be used again.

A dead rat tries to sneak into class by wearing multiple raincoats

School's closed due to cows

World's number one ice cream lover devastated that she can't taste ice cream named after herself.

The third book is called "Wayside School Gets A Little Stranger". They don't appear until the end.

The author's self insert eats a woman alive. He would then go on to write "Holes" 20 years later.

One of the stories is called "What?". It's written backwards.

There are three Erics. To remember which is which, they each have nicknames that reflect the polar opposite of their actual selves.

A boy and a girl trade names, which inspires the rest of the class to do the same, leading to an incredibly confusing reading experience.

Benjamin Nushmutt accidentally is called a completely different name, and Ben is too shy to correct anyone about it

After long deliberation between all of the classmates, Calvin decides that he wants a tattoo of a potato on his ankle

One character falls into the Wayside equivalent of the backrooms for three chapters

Two students accidentally resurrect their old teacher with potato salad

One student is so unpleasant that the lunch lady finds out a substitute teacher is stealing the children's voices because he says "Have a nice day" in her voice.

One of these is directly referenced in Deltarune

Pickle hypnosis