#so he tries to make their sleeping space a bit more comfy because girlfriend deserves nice things

[nightingaletrash]

the debate over where D’Angelo and Mel make their havens in LA continues in my brain. on the one hand, they’re in Santa Monica over the pawn shop where they can be readily accessible to the local Thinbloods.

Alternatively, D’Angelo chooses the abandoned hospital Downtown because it doesn’t matter if he can pass for human with a mask, he is a Nosferatu and he will choose an abandoned building because it feels more like home to him than any apartment ever will. Meanwhile Mel takes up in the Skyline Apartments and succeeds in getting him to stay over during the day more often than not <3

[tommyspeakycap]

Would you write for John McGinn? anything at all for him haha

you got me

a nasty breakup brings you to the door of the aston villa player, ready to welcome you once again with open arms full of love.

Whistling to himself as he walks from his bathroom to the kitchen of his home, John towel dries off his hair when his doorbell sounds through the house. His immediate reaction is one of question. He tilts his head, furrows his brows and wracks his brain for a memory of potentially making plans that he had then completely forgotten about. Instead, he begins to wonder if there was a chance he had leaked his address and would be met with paparazzi or fans standing on his doorstep. The villa player draws blank on both of those thought processes, and is snapped from them when the a harsh knocking accompanies the sound of said doorbell.

His feet hurry him towards the door, taking the opportunity to look at the doorbell footage he could access from the little alarm box on the wall just next to it. His eyes are met with you standing on his porch dripping from the rain, shivering in soaked clothes and very possibly crying.

He reaches for the door immediately, tugging the heavy thing open with eyes wide, "Bloody hell, you have a key!" He exclaims, ushering you in as he removed his hair towel from around his neck to drape over your shoulders while you close the door behind you. Your lips are a little blue from the winter chill that had blown the cold rain through your clothes. "Forgot it." You chitter, entire body shivering with the painful force to try and conserve some form of heat.

John grabs a bigger towel, one that's much softer and warmer. "Strip off," he orders hurriedly, turning his back to go back into the kitchen and see if he left any clothes in his dryer from the load he put in earlier. "Sh-shouldn't you take me t-t-to dinner first?"

Your half hearted, shivering attempt at a joke doesn't make him laugh like it usually would. He turns around to shoot you a disapproving scowl. "I'll get you some warm clothes, get dried."

You do as told, or attempt to. It's hard when you can't feel your fingers to get a grip on anything more than the zipper of the zip up hoodie you'd had on. You try to shake the material from your shoulders, but your whole body is stiff with the tight muscles that the freezing temperatures had inflicted upon you.

"You'll end up with hypothermia," John rushes, dropping the warm clothes down on the cabinet by the door where you still stand, surrounded by a puddle of rainwater. He works quickly, but carefully to shed you of the zipper, then looks to you for permission to lift your t-shirt over your head. He hands you the warm, dry towel to cover yourself with so he can unclip your soaked bra. Shoes off next, he discards them off behind him as water literally pools from them. You keep that towel around you, patting at your skin as he tries to get your leggings off as painlessly as possible, but every touch still hurts. Your pants, you insist on doing by yourself even if it is a struggle while John holds up the towel.

He didn't bother to even make an attempt at pulling the hair bobble out of your hair, John just snaps the thin black band wordlessly, easily between his fingers before he orders you to flip your hair so he can tied it in another warm towel.

"Why were you out in that?" He asks as he sits you down in his cosy living room with a new, drier towel. You're still chittering, which is worrying but John had learned a lot from coaches behaviours towards the teams when they come off after games played on nights like these. "It's negative 6 degrees."

Warming up was the most important thing, just not too quickly.

You avert your eyes from his, chewing slightly on your lip. "(y/n)," John presses, moving to occupy the space on the couch next to you. You sit forward on the couch so you both sit shoulder to shoulder, his head turns to you while yours faces the floor. "David kicked me out, I didn't have my keys and my phone wasn't charged so I couldn't call you. Busses were off for the weather and the snow covered the train lines yesterday, plus I don't have any money with me so I was scuppered there too. I did some grovelling at the door then I walked here when he wouldn't let me back it."

John's jaw all but hits the floor as anger infiltrates the worry coursing through his veins.

"Don't..." you sigh, trailing off as you stand up with a loose shake of your head. "Don't look at me like that John. I'm gonna go get changed."

The sound of your bare feet padding off through his house holding the warmed pile of his clothes he gave to you was one that he would certainly like to get used to, but you had both done this dance so many times he knew it wasn't something he could count on. Usually you'll call him though, or he'll go and pick you up after a mutual breakup. You've never come on no notice and it's never been because of something like this. John hadn't heard from you in a few weeks either, you had his mind reeling.

Even more so when you reappeared, dry hair tied back out of your face with his grey joggers and black t-shirt drowning you in its size. They were him homebody comfy clothes, so they were bought to be even a little big on him. He had to admit they looked a lot better on you, though.

In the time you were gone, John had made hot chocolate and brought through his biscuit tin to sit on the couch between you both. Words weren't deemed necessary to find a movie he knew you would like. That and he knew you didn't want to talk, so even if he tried it would have been like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall.

He keeps looking over at you, trying to do so discreetly by flicking his eyes over in your direction. Those little giggles at Hugh Grants exasperated facial expressions while James Can disposes of a body in a trunk in the 1999 rom com you loved so much. The movie is good, but your reactions to every time you watch it just like each time is the first time. John can't understand why a man would ever do anything that would wipe that little grin off your perfect lips. How anyone could ever put anyone out on their doorstep in a  storm like that, but least of all someone who was supposed to love you. If it were up to John, you would have been wrapped in a blanket the second the rain pour started, curled in his arms falling asleep to the sound of the thunder rumble and the rain pattering against the street. That was his dream, the one he couldn't keep a girlfriend because of. All he wanted was you and nobody else ever lived up to that.

He wishes he could scream at you, tell you that those very sorry excuses for men that you end up with and what you have with them isn't love. Or maybe you do love them, but they do not love you. They like the idea of you, someone free spirited and always ready to fall in love.

It truly seemed as though you could fall in love with anyone but the one man who wanted you the most.

Watching you fall asleep on his couch, head resting on the high armrest with knees curled up and his blanket still tucked around you with a tiny little bit of chocolate on the corner of your lip sends his heart racing a mile a minute. It feels so right to have you there. He feels guilty for enjoying it. Your heart was broken even if you wouldn't say a word about it and here he was enjoying it.

He uses his foot to push open the spare bedroom door just along the hall from his room. John lays you down carefully on top of the duvet, letting your head nuzzle into his plush pillows as your eyes remain shut in soft sleep. He grabs another blanket for you and makes sure the heating is right up in the room before he leaves you there with an ache in his chest.

He goes to check on you in the middle of the night, finding you not in the room but instead standing in his kitchen still shrouded in blankets with crazy sleep hair and tired eyes.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, startling you ever so slightly. You shrug, moving to take a seat at his kitchen island. “Woke up and got all messed up thinking about how i have literally nothing.” You mumble in response, your voice thick with the desire to burst into tears. It breaks his heart to see you so defeated, your eyes never meeting his as they stare pointedly down at the marble surface. “I’m sorry.” John says, “Really. He’s an arsehole. I can go round and grab some stuff for you tomorrow if you want.” He offers, his apology as sincere as they come. But you shake your head with only a quick glance up at him. John isn’t hot tempered at all. He’s mellow, easygoing and funny. Never quick to anger and never the type to get into a fight but by god is he protective of you. You worry about the kind of blow that would come to his career if he gets an assault charge against your ex when he inevitably doesn’t let John into the house to get any of your stuff while probably barraging you with insults.

“It’s not worth it.” You admit. “It’s less physical. Just leaves me empty, i guess. ‘Cause i gave everything to that relationship and how i have nothing left to give.” The heartbreak and the weight of your words will weigh on John’s mind probably for years to come. How someone could do that to you he will never understand. There’s nothing he wants more in this world than for you to be his to love. He wants to shower you with praise, make you realise how strong you are and remind you every single day that he loves you. That’s what you deserve. You deserve kindness and encouragement and support. He wishes more than anything to be the guy who could give that to you instead of watching you enter into relationships with the worst men he’s ever known only to see you torn down at the other side of it.

“You’ve got me.” He offers. He knows that’s probably not what you want to hear and it might not give you the kind of relief he wishes he could give. But you smile softly and stand up, shuffling over to him under blankets and his warm clothes until you reach him. You don’t really hug him, just lean against him with your cheek on his chest. John wraps his arms around you tightly and feels you sigh contently. He’s your John. The burly Scottish lad who makes you laugh when you feel like crying, who looks after you and keeps you pushing forward when life feels like it’s stacked against you. “Yeah. I love you, John.” You hum softy. John can feel the small smile on your lips against the thin material of the shirt he wore to sleep in because his house was like a sauna with the heating to keep your warm. He can tell you’re about to fall asleep there because he supports most of your weight. He holds you to him, rubbing your back soothingly as you nod ever so slightly against him.

“Even when i’ve got nothing, i’ve got you.”

[wangxianslillotus]

Au where Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang and Jin ZiXuan go to a haunted house into the forest of a mountain, in the middle of the night because ghosts won't show up during the day time.

Nie Huaisang hears that inside the house you can find incredible scary things such as talismans, bloody walls, screams at some point of the night, evidence of rituals. He even hears that there is a witch living in one of the rooms at the very end of the house.

Mostly, he knows that this is true due to pictures that one college classmate took a couple of days ago, but the pictures that people take of the witch always dissappear as if it was never there.

Indeed, it is a very creepy thing, but as Huaisang is SO curious about it, and Jiang Cheng is a good boyfriend, he comes along to protect him just in case.

And as for Jin ZiXuan, he comes along because his girlfriend, YanLi, is worried for his brother's well-being, knowing WanYin it's an actual scary cat. So yeah, he joins the party for the expedition into that damn haunted house.

When they arrive, they try to pry from one of the windows, just to prevent the immediate encounter with the witch. They see candles lighted on the ground that project weird shadows and shapes all around the place. As the rumors had said, the walls are full of talismans of all kinds, some drawings made with what they absolutely think that is blood, and there are hanging some papers from the ceilings above the bloody circle in the floor. They can't see more than that, and Huaisang hasn't satisfied his curiosity yet, he says. He wants to see the witch.

Jiang Cheng looks at Huaisang and wants to fucking kick his ass down the mountain, but instead just tells him how much he loves him to get a foot inside that eery ass house. They hold hands while entering the house, slowly and being the most careful they have ever been in their lives. The wood of the floor makes a scratchy sound as they walk into the first room, paper doors already long gone.

It is a very old house, at least that much they know. As they saw from the window, the room next to this one is the one with the papers hanging from the ceiling, but in the current one there seems to be some kind of altar, surrounded by more candles and incense that smells not so bad. They keep walking, looking at the walls of the window room quite closely now, amazed by how the witch has prepared so many things.

They are keeping it in by short, and it shows when they hear running footsteps in the next room. There is a paper door that's almost destroyed in between the two rooms, and they do catch a glimpse of a little shadow running into another further room from the spaces that were supposed to be covered with the paper.

Jiang Cheng mutters, "what the fuck?" Huaisang holding tighter onto his arm, and ZiXuan resisting the impulse that wants to make him run to hold Huaisang too, all of them scared to death.

They hear nothing now, but even so, they stay still for a couple of minutes. When nothing happens, they keep going further because Huaisang wanted to get a glimpse of the witch. And if Huaisang wanted, Jiang Cheng complied. And Jin ZiXuan wanted to leave them both right there.

ZiXuan opens the door after being pushed by Jiang Cheng, sliding it to the side with utmost silence. In this room there's only a table on the ground, full of scattered things that are just as gloomy as the first two rooms. They look like pieces of toys, and there are some tools too that Jiang Cheng recognizes from his sister's work, but that doesn't bring him any good feelings.

Suddenly a tug in his arm makes him turn, Huaisang pointing with his mouth full open to the door next room. Jiang Cheng looks, but doesn't see anything until he does, and then he's tugging at ZiXuan's arm with urgency.

"The... the... corner." He instructs, his voice being barely a tiny thread compared to his usual loud voice. ZiXuan doesn't even question it, he follows his instructions in case they need to run away. But when he does, he too, gets paralyzed at the sight.

There are two small hands holding the door that guides to the next room. Two small hands and the half of a child's face staring at them.

They stay still for what feels like ages, so when a big terrific shadow projects over their heads in the wall in front of them, greatly defined thanks to the thousands of candles lighted in the previous room, along with the happy kid's voice calling "papa" to something or someone pass them, they jump straight into different reactions.

Huaisang faints. He goes limp on the floor, and Jiang Cheng barely registers his fall, still frozen like a statue. ZiXuan runs towards the opposite wall to the one that projects the shadow, and turns around to confront it with a loud scream.

"Could you please be silent, you're scaring my son." The man speaks, already tired of the scene, even if he finds it hilarious. His voice is very chill, and he doesn't look much older than them. The little kid opens the door and runs towards him, hiding behind his legs.

Jiang Cheng turns around after gaining some of his soul back, ready to punch the man with all his strength until he turns him into a real ghost, but decides that his fainted boyfriend needs a little bit more of attention. He holds Huaisang closer as he speaks, "We are scaring him? He almost killed my man!!!"

The man chuckles, "You pretty much deserve that for coming into my home in the middle of the night." He states, patting the little boy's head with care.

"... your... home?" ZiXuan asks, confused. How could someone live in a place like this? It was insane. Jiang Cheng now tries to wake Huaisang up with a little slap on his cheek, but gets no response at all.

"Do I look like I am fond to repeat my words?" The man says, glaring at ZiXuan. The kid suddenly tugs at his father's pants, making grabby hands towards him, and with a smile, the man complies his son's wishes.

Jiang Cheng mutters, "This haunted place doesn't look like a home..."

"Ow, I'm sorry I missed the home-decor meeting, man." The man scoffs, making a half smile. "Now, even if you are intruders in my home," He paused, "I am a very good host, so unless you prefer to wait for him to wake up while you go down the woods to the city, you can bring him up to the living room."

He doesn't wait for an answer from the boys, and instead, he walks over the next room. They are quite surprised when they see him turn the lights on, and after sharing a look, they both take Huaisang, following the man deeper into the house.

They get into another room, laying Huaisang in the couch that the man points lazily as he dissappears into another room.

Jiang Cheng and Jin ZiXuan instantly get closer, and start discussing the current events.

"What the fuck?" ZiXuan starts, holding himself close by grabbing onto Jiang Cheng's shoulder.

"I don't know, what is going on, man..." he responds, sighing. "Wasn't this supposed to be a haunted house with a witch and all that?"

"Who said that? So rude." A third voice joins them with whispers too, making them jump again. They breat heavily, lips pressing while shooting glares to the man that returned from wherever he was.

"Can you stop?" Jiang Cheng barks, pushing the man with his shoulder without second thought. The man looks at him, eyes full of innocence.

"I'm not doing anything." He provides, disconcerted by the request.

"You're appearing out of nowhere, so suddenly... we're still kind of... getting our nerves back, you know?" ZiXuan explains the best way he can. The man makes an understanding gesture with his face, and apologizes in a whisper again.

They go silent a while more, just staring blankly at Huaisang, that shows no signs of waking up anytime soon. Until the man tries to break the ice.

"Since you're already here, and all that... what are your names?" He asks, taking a seat next to the table that matches the couch, on the floor. He looks at them with a sweet smile, looking almost happy for having them there.

"Uhh..." Jiang Cheng side looks at ZiXuan before answering. "Are you sure you're not going to like... throw a curse at us or something like that?"

The man laughs wholeheartedly at his words, grabbing his stomach and all, before answering, "Oh, no. You got enough already, didn't you?" He said putting his elbows onto the table, "But for you to be somewhat reassured, my name is Wei WuXian".

With that, the other two were indeed reassured. "I am Jin ZiXuan, he is Jiang WanYin... and this deceased one is Nie Huaisang. We are truly sorry for breaking in like this. And for scaring your son, too. He looks like a good child." He tries with a smile. With that, Wei WuXian seems to relax even more, as a proud father that he was.

"Oh, A-yuan is the best. He's sleeping now, but I promise that he is. Now, would you mind telling me who said that this was a Haunted house? I wouldn't want more people breaking in in my sleep, you know?"

"It was... one of Huaisang's college classmates. They came here the other night and took some pictures to show around." Jiang Cheng sits while talking, right next to Huaisang's legs. If he was going to be chatty, then at least he should be comfy.

Wei WuXian made a face at that information. That wasn't good at all.

"I see..."

They pause for another couple of seconds, until Jiang Cheng couldn't hold it anymore. He has a curiosity too, and just like his boyfriend, he's very often, not so good at containing it.

"Why do you live here?" He wanted to know since he realized that there was no witch, no ghost, but just a lot of awful choices with decorations, probably to scare away people in the first place, or something like that, and a little boy in his pajamas waiting for his dad to come back home.

Wei WuXian sighs, "I don't have money to rent a better place at the city, and with my current job I have enough to pay for a tuition for A-yuan. I'm searching, tho. For better jobs, and better conditions too, but... it's been pretty though. 23 years old, a child, no bank account or references and no other job experiences, people don't really want that on their heads when I do the interviews." He wishes he had a beer or something to talk about his problems with people he barely knew, but he supposes that that was exactly the reason why he could talk without saving himself some face, without having to pretend that he was not affected by what he couldn't control. They have already seen a lot, too. So what else could be saved.

Jiang Cheng and Jin ZiXuan felt for what Wei WuXian was going through. They weren't exactly the best empaths, but they knew how hard the things could be for some people.

Jiang Cheng had seen his mother after the divorce, refusing to accept the money his father sent them because she thought that it was the fastest way to get completely away from him and his lack of everything at their past relationship. He had seen her working hard to earn her place in the world, and had seen her distressed when they had no money to spare, not even for a toy. They were better now, way better. But he never forgot.

Not even now, seeing the same expression that his mom had at the time, plastered in Wei WuXian's face while he lets a sigh take away some tension.

You could... come with us. He wants to say. We have a spare room where you could live with your child for a while until you get some money. He really wants to say. But he doesn't find the words.

"How is your son doing with all this, WuXian?" ZiXuan asks, knowing the background of the thinking process that was going on inside of Jiang Cheng's mind. Wei WuXian wrinkles his nose a little bit, trying to pull some strength.

"He..." he sighs, changing his position, "He's trying his best. He doesn't like this place, we're not feeling safe here, and he has nightmares from time to time. But he studies hard even if he's tired, and eats whatever I can bring onto the table... he never complains." Sometimes, Wei WuXian wanted that his son complained, so that he could blame himself for everything that was going on. It was his fault, in the first place. But his son's smiles hurted him even deeper than any blame that he could phantom.

"It's been long?" Jiang Cheng finally got a grip on his memories, and he rejoins the conversation. "Since you live here."

Wei WuXian looks at him and thinks, has it been long? "Mmh... no more than six months."

"That's!!!" Jiang Cheng quarrels with a sudden scream. Wei WuXian looks at him surprised, and Jiang Cheng clears his throat before continuing, "that's a lot of time..."

"Indeed, it is." Wei WuXian answers, dry. It was already more than the "couple of weeks" that he said he needed to get everything under control. It was by far more than a couple of weeks.

When Jiang Cheng was about to offer him that he joined the Jiang house, Nie Huaisang made a sound in complain, making them jump onto their feets to check him.

"Babe... if you're so much of a scary cat to faint on the spot, then we shouldn't have come to a supposed haunted house." Jiang Cheng said, pulling his boyfriend's cheek when he confirmed that he was okay.

Nie Huaisang makes a pout but doesn't argue on that. Instead, he focuses on the unknown man in black at the side of his boyfriend, and offers a polite smile.

"How long have you been awake?" Wei WuXian asks, not being fooled by his smile. Huaisang presses his lips, he's been caught on the spot. The other two boys look surprised, was he faking it?

"... Since A-Cheng asked you why you live here..." he confesses, turning pink on his cheeks.

"A-Sang!" Jiang Cheng complains, frowning deep. "Why didn't you say something?"

"How could I just talk in the middle of all that?! You would have stopped right away... besides, it would have been the most uncomfortable thing ever. So spare me, A-Cheng!" He took his boyfriend's hand into his, pulling him to seat again at his side in the couch.

ZiXuan rolls his eyes and takes a seat in front of Wei WuXian, not wanting to pay attention to the couple. He knew better already. And it seemed that Wei WuXian could predict them too, because he just sat back on the floor. There where a couple of seconds more until the couple settles, finally paying attention to the previous conversation.

"So... you... live... alone with your son?" Huaisang asks, tip toeing the words, not so sure how would it sound once pronounced. Wei WuXian stares at him for a second, not really looking. It was more like he was looking at the past for a couple of moments, but he ends up smiling, stiff but deciding to answer.

"I do. We do. It's just A-Yuan and Wei Ying." He declares. It wasn't bad. It wasn't good either, in some terms.

It was good, because Wei WuXian loved every single day he spends by his precious son's side, he loves the way his little boy munches his food, the way he sleeps, the way he treats the world, he did his best everyday, even to random stray cats that showed up on their door, his son was the best and the cutest. He loves him. But... it wasn't good for A-Yuan, because these weren't the proper conditions for his son's health or education, nor to his well-being and growth. Wei WuXian knows it.

The other three boys didn't knew what to say to that, to be fair. They couldn't just avoid the feeling that something definitely had happened, but also they couldn't quite grab exactly what had happened, so they really didn't knew what to say in response. It wasn't like Wei WuXian wasn't sharing, or keeping secrets. He was being bare open to their questioning, but this... just seems way too personal for them to dig it up just like that.

Wei WuXian seems to catch the feeling in the air, because he agitates his hand in front of his nose, like fanning something, saying "Oh, no. Don't mind it. Really, it isn't something that hurts to speak of."

They breathe again, and look at him with expectation in their eyes. Wei WuXian is happy that he, now, has someone who will listen to his story, his and his son's. But it wasn't the moment, was it?

"He isn't really my son. He is, because I love him, and because I adopted him. But I'm not his biological father." He provided in a whisper, that being enough for now. "He doesn't know, so I'm not quite comfortable with saying it out loud here."

They all made an understanding nod, all with different expressions, but understanding nonetheless. Wei WuXian smiled warmly.

That night, the party left the haunted house with a new friend and a new trouble to be talked and solved. They arrived at the Jiang house, still talking about what or how would they ask Madam Yu permission for bringing their new friend, plus one little boy, under their roof.

Madam Yu wasn't quite enchanted by the full idea, of course, she wanted to help, but bringing a man into the house would be a little bit shocking to the people in the neighborhood, but she knew why his son was doing all of this. And they could say that it was a friend of Jiang Cheng, which was true. They sat sat the table until four am, talking about how would they live from now on. They even talked about making Wei WuXian a contract for rent, in case he needed it for any reason that could come up in the future. When they settled most of the things, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang went to the room that they were going to give Wei WuXian to prepare it, ZiXuan went to his own home, and Madam Yu went to her study to check out prices of furniture that the boy and his son would probably need.

..................

Later that week, WanYin and Huaisang went up the mountain again. They walk for quite a bit until they are in front of the house in the middle of the forest. Under the daylight, the house looks not so scary anymore, but instead just bad maintained.

There are some toys scattered on the side of the entrance, when they pass. Huaisang slides his hand onto his boyfriend's and smiles at him excitedly. They go further down the house until the actual main entrance, announcing their arrival with a loud voice, so that Wei WuXian doesn't get surprised, at least in the wrong way.

Wei Ying turns around with A-Yuan on his arms, smiling at his friends with happiness. "Guys! What are you doing here?" He asked, making an adorable face when his son waves at them too, offering a thooty smile. What a polite little boy.

Huaisang almost dies at the cuteness of this little one, so he immediately goes to him, while Jiang Cheng is left to give the big news.

"Well... actually... You know. There's a room." He says, smacking himself mentally at the eyebrow that Wei WuXian gives him, and the laugh that his boyfriend barely contains inside. "There's a free. A free room. It's not being used. The room it's at my house." He... is getting somewhere, enough to enlighten Wei WuXian's eyes when he connects the dots. But Jiang Cheng it's not a patient human being, so he just sighs before a bluntly adding, "do you want it?"

Huaisang looks at him with a smile, just too amused at the spectacle to make some additions, meanwhile Wei WuXian covers his face to laugh out loud.

"What is funny?" WanYin asks, red from head to toe.

"I do want it, WanYin. Thank you..." Wei WuXian says, pulling the other man into his arms for a hug. A tight hug. "Thank you so, so, so much."

.............

[imaginingsoftly]

Wedding Date Pt. 2 - Tyler Seguin

Type: strangers-enemies-lovers, series

Requested: no

Warnings: swearing, asshole exes

A/N: Hey guys! I know I said these installments were going to come out on Thursdays, but I feel like my fellow Americans currently losing their shit could use a distraction. Remember that it’s out of our hands at the moment, and you deserve to take a break from the news coverage. Breathe. We’ll get through this. I love you all.

Tyler hadn’t asked any questions about Melissa’s sudden disappearance from the brunch after she woke up grumpy and disoriented before the rehearsal dinner, and she appreciated the hell out of him for it. Instead, he’d brewed her some coffee and talked about his dogs and life in Dallas. Somehow he could tell that she needed some time to not think about anything significant, and he’d given that time to her like it was nothing. 

Attending the rehearsal on his arm was almost fun, and he helped get her back to the suite early. Most of the group probably thought they were breaking off to go hook up, but that was fine as long as Melissa could get into her bed faster. He’d walked her all the way to her bedroom, despite her laughter that she could walk across the living space by herself, and she’d smiled that night as she fell back to sleep. 

Now they were getting ready for their respective roles in the wedding, Tyler as a guest/ wrangler of the middle-aged relatives, Melissa as the Maid-of-Honor. Tyler grinned appreciatively as Melissa handed him a cup of freshly-brewed coffee, and she turned back to the french press to make herself a cup when her phone began to ring. It was probably Kirsten freaking out about something, even though the wedding was a good 8 hours away. “Tyler, could you get that for me?” He could handle his cousin just as well as she would have, and hearing Tyler answer Melissa’s phone might put Kirsten in a good mood. 

“Hello?” Tyler’s voice, gravelly from sleep, sent a shiver up Melissa’s spine. Hearing that first thing in the morning was something she would be interested in getting used to. She snuck a glance over at Tyler to see him already looking at her, smirking like he knew what was going through her head. 

“Who the fuck are you?” The familiar voice, dripping in attitude and disgust, sent another sort of shiver down Melissa’s spine. Her ex, and not the hipster beer guy. 

“What the hell do you want, Liam?” Tyler looked at Melissa confusedly as she spoke, and she shook her head. Later, she tried to tell him with her eyes. He understood, and Melissa took the outstretched phone. “I told you to leave me the fuck alone.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, and for a second Melissa thought that maybe Liam had hung up. “I can’t believe you’re hooking up with someone else. This won’t look good to my parents, Melissa. It’s time to come home. Stop throwing fits.” Tyler threw a sharp look at her, like he actually believed what Liam was saying, and Melissa had enough. 

“I am not your goddamn girlfriend, Liam, so stop acting like I am.” He tried to interrupt her, like he always did, but she cut him off. “No. I’m not fucking finished. I love my job, I love my friends, and I love my freedom. I’m not interested in being some rich fucker’s trophy wife and I’m definitely not interested in being yours. Leave me the fuck alone before I get a restraining order.” She hung up before he could get another word in, throwing her phone on the counter in anger. “Motherfucker!” 

The timer for the french press went off, and Melissa prepped her coffee with jerky, angry movements. She could sense Tyler staring at her from his seat on the counter, but she ignored him as she continued to mutter curses under her breath. She should have blocked his number a long time ago, but she didn’t trust him not to just get a new one in order to reach out to her. At least this way she had proof of his continued calls and texts in one spot. 

Tyler’s voice broke through Melissa’s cloud of anger, and she actually jumped a little bit at the sound of his voice. “Bad breakup?” Melissa scoffed. He had no idea. “Well,” Tyler said with a bit of a laugh in his voice, “I can tell you one thing.” He waited until she turned to face him, an eyebrow raised, before he continued. “I’d be honored to have you as my trophy wife.” No he did not. Melissa gaped at him, more shocked he had made a joke about the conversation than about the actual comment. 

She didn’t really think, she just reacted. Tyler laughed as Melissa’s coffee spoon came flying in his direction, and he caught the utensil with ease. Her heart felt light, lighter than it usually did after phone calls from Liam, and Melissa found herself smiling back. “Hipster beer guy wasn’t my most recent ex. He was actually a guy from college, so a while ago.” Tyler nodded, and she noticed that he leaned forward like he was interested in the story she was about to tell. “I dated Liam for about 6 months last year. We met at a dinner for the university that I work at, some charity thing where the donors get to come and make sure we know that they pay our salaries.” Tyler cringed, and Melissa was sure he at least kind of understood where she was coming from. 

“Liam didn’t seem like the other donors. He’d gone to the dinner in place of his parents, and we talked for a couple of hours. He seemed sweet.” She didn’t see the red flags that she normally would have, mostly because he looked so friendly. Apparently being raised by rich and heartless parents taught you some pretty impressive false empathy skills. She wasn’t wholly convinced he actually felt empathy at all, actually. “We started dating, and it just felt easy. We were both so busy that we hardly saw each other, and I told myself I liked that. I realized later that I didn’t like the distance from a partner, I just liked the distance from him.”

“One night like a week before we hit the 6 month mark Liam invited me to dinner with his parents. I hadn’t met them yet, because apparently they were super busy running their empire, so I was pretty nervous. Liam is a pretty driven guy, and I had assumed he got it from his parents. The dinner went wrong from the beginning.” Melissa paused as Tyler patted the space on the counter next to him. She hopped up gratefully, and he squeezed the shoulder closest to him. 

“Just wanted you to be comfy. I have a feeling this next part is going to be a doozy.” 

Melissa laughed at Tyler’s choice of phrasing, though she nodded because he was correct. It was a doozy for sure. “You have no idea. So we get there, and I’m immediately othered when everyone shows up in cocktail dresses and suits and I’m over there in my teaching pants and a blazer. His mother looked like she had just sucked on a lemon when I walked into the room, and she glared down at my hand when I introduced myself like I was going to give her some kind of disease.” That wasn’t even half of it. She’d also made some snide comments under her breath about where the clothing had come from, though Tyler didn’t really need to hear that detail. 

“We finally sat down for dinner after some of the most uncomfortable cocktail conversation I’ve ever had, and then I make a giant mistake. I mention my job.” Tyler reacts perfectly, throwing a hand over his heart and fake gasping. Melissa chuckled a bit. “Yeah, exactly. So his mom gets this horrified look on her face, and turns to Liam and says, ‘she will not be working once you’re engaged, correct?’ I tried to respectfully state that I love my job, and I planned on working for the foreseeable future, but she wouldn’t take that for an answer. She kept insisting that I couldn’t work if we were going to be together, and Liam wouldn’t back me up. At one point he turned to me and said, ‘you know, I make more in a day than you do in an entire month. I can take care of you.’”

Tyler’s face looked disgusted for her, and Melissa felt a twinge of satisfaction that at least he was on her side. “I lost my damn mind. I stood up from the table and said that if the expectation was that I would be a brainless trophy wife with no ambition or intelligence then I was uninterested in continuing our relationship, and I stormed out. I’ve been trying to get Liam to realize that no means no ever since.” Melissa downed the rest of her coffee, suddenly in need of at least three more cups. 

She was halfway through making a second cup when Tyler responded again. “Isn’t one of your areas of expertise gender and stuff?” Melissa whipped around, surprised he had remembered. She nodded, and Tyler let out a scoff. “So they were pushing some idea from the 50s on you when your area of study is literally everything against that?” Melissa laughed. At least someone else understood the irony there. 

A knock sounded on the door to the suite before Melissa could respond. Tyler jumped off the counter before she could move to the door, and she admired the view from behind as he walked away from her. “Morning, cousin!” Kirsten flew through the door, sliding across the room and into Melissa’s arms with a laugh. “I’m getting married today!” The pair laughed, and Melissa hugged her friend close as she felt some tears prick her eyes. They’d been through a lot together since their days as college roommates, and today felt almost surreal. 

Kirsten pulled back with a slight frown. “Why do you look like you want to punch something?” Melissa tried to school her face into one of confusion, but her friend knew her too well for that. “Don’t bullshit me. Why the hell do you look so pissed?” 

She didn’t get a chance to make something up. “Liam called her.” Melissa turned to glare at Tyler from where he was sitting on the counter again. “He was an ass, but she handled him really well. It was kinda hot actually.” He winked at Melissa, and she flushed bright red. He had that effect on her, and it was kind of aggravating. 

“He still seems to think we’re still dating. I told him a restraining order was in the cards if he didn’t kindly fuck off.” Kirsten held up a hand for a high five, and Melissa slapped it gratefully. She had stayed in Kirsten’s guest bedroom for almost a month after that breakup because Liam kept showing up at her apartment. He stayed away from the house because John was a hell of a lot bigger than him, and John and Kirsten had been lifesavers as she tried to get over their relationship ending. 

Kirsten looped an arm through Melissa’s and began pulling her out the door, despite the fact that the latter girl was barefoot. Melissa managed to snag a pair of flip flops on their way out, though she couldn’t get them on her feet. “Ty I’m stealing your girl for a bestie breakfast, try not to miss her too much!” Melissa stiffened at her words. Maybe they’d been acting too well. She looked over her shoulder to mouth an apology at Tyler, her face bright red, only to find him smirking in her direction already. They were still staring each other down when the door slammed shut behind her. “You have a lot of explaining to do, Lissy.” 

She couldn’t keep pretending like this. “Kirs, it’s not like that.” If she wasn’t careful, Kirsten would be planning her and Tyler’s wedding by the time the night was over. Kirsten meant well, she really did, but sometimes she really just needed to chill out. “We get along really well. We’ve had a lot of time to talk, and it’s been fun. That’s all.” It was obvious that Kirsten disagreed, but she relented as they reached the patio where the brunch had been held the day prior. 

The tables were no longer set up to make one giant table, like they had been the night before. Instead it was an open area where several groups were eating, none part of the wedding party. Kirsten pulled Melissa over to a table set up for two in one corner of the patio. It was next to the vine and flower-covered wall she’d noticed the day before, and she leaned in slightly to sniff at the flowers brightening the space. 

“So,” Kirsten said with an air of mischief, “you and my cousin.” Melissa opened her mouth to protest again, but her friend cut her off. “Uh-uh. Nope. I saw the looks he was giving you, and you turned bright red every time you two made eye contact.” She was right, and they both knew it. Kirsten looked smug when Melissa didn’t try to disagree. “Listen. You’re moving to Dallas in a month. Why not hook up with him? See if he’s worth keeping around, and then have some fun. You don’t have to do the whole relationship thing babe, and you deserve to have someone appreciate your body.” 

A server came to take their order, and Melissa gratefully ordered another cup of coffee and some pancakes. “I think you’re reading it all wrong, Kirs. He’s just being nice.” The looks that he kept giving her, full of heat and interest, said otherwise, but there was no way he was really interested in her outside of a hookup. Although, would that really be so bad? Kirsten scoffed at her statement, and Melissa jumped in before she could say anything. “I don’t know if I really want to hook up with anyone this weekend, Kirs. If it happens it happens, but I’m not going to push it.” 

Her friend shrugged, though her face said she completely disagreed. “Well if you aren’t going to let me find someone to match you with, at least tell me you found a place in Dallas.” Their food arrived, and Melissa took a happy bite of her pancakes. They smelled heavenly, and tasted even better. “You were going to buy a house, right?”

Melissa nodded. “Originally I had planned on a house, maybe just outside the city, but I fell in love with this townhouse right off of Main Street. It has three bedrooms, so right around the size I wanted, and there’s so much natural light. Plus, there’s a rooftop deck with a beautiful view of the city.” This place was going to be her new investment. She was fortunate enough to have gotten a lot of scholarships and grants to do her schooling with, and professorial pay allowed her to pay off those loans rather quickly. That meant that she could start saving for a down payment on her own place and a new start in Dallas. 

She took another bite of her pancakes while Kirsten contemplated what she was saying. “I’m really happy for you, Lissy. You deserve this.” They grinned at each other, and then Kristen broke down into giggles. “Look at us! You’re a badass in your field that got job offers from like half the universities in the country, and I’m marrying my soulmate. We’re killing this whole life thing.” Melissa chuckled as she nodded at her friend’s words. 

“It wasn’t half of the universities in the country, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.” Kirsten waved a hand in a ‘whatever’ kind of way, and conversation moved to people-watching and bets over who would leave with whom tonight or how long it would take for John to tear up.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Help Wanted (final chapter)

Thank you so much to everyone whose enjoyed this fic! Writing it has been a real joy and a relief right now, especial thanks to @minky-for-short​ and @spiky-lesbian​ my lovely beta readers!

Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3 if you’ve enjoyed this fic!

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

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Fjord and Caduceus get the happy ending they deserve

WARNING: This chapter deals with physical domestic violence, it doesn't happen on page but the results are seen. Also, conversations around internalised homophobia

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“Are you really going to let him leave without saying goodbye?”

It was all Yasha had said to her that evening, since she’d come storming in after her disastrous ‘conversation’ with Fjord. Not at first, of course, both of her girlfriends knew better tha to approach her when she was in a mood like that, giving her space to burn her anger away. Jester, of course, had immediately crept onto the sofa as soon as the coast was clear, wrapping her soft arms around her and not asking for an explanation, just holding.

Yasha didn’t speak her love through touch as much as Jester, instead there was a cup of warm tea in front of her all of a sudden and the strong, sure presence behind her he knew so well, a hand on her shoulder.

And those words, in her quiet, level voice.

Jester looked like she wanted to say more, that expression on her face like she was just full of words and was about to burst, until Yasha laid a gentle hand on top of her head and suggested that maybe she could go and help her make dinner. The tiefling bit her lip and flared her nostrils but eventually nodded and hopped over the back of the sofa, Yasha turning after her and leaving Beau with those words.

“Are you really going to let him leave without saying goodbye?”

Not admonishing or judging, there was none of that in her tone, as steady and sure as the sight of home from a long distance. It was just another moment where Beau felt her girlfriends knew her better than she knew herself, like they saw what was under the anger at the surface, the anger that many would assume was all there was to her. So many that sometimes Beau would believe it.

Because of course she wasn’t going to let her best friend go for gods knew how long without a goodbye. She couldn’t have their last interaction be them screaming at each other on a street corner, throwing words like weapons. No matter how she felt about his choices, he was still her friend. They’d been through far too much to leave it like that.

It had just taken her up until now to realise it.

Sighing, Beau unfolded herself and stood up, heading for the door, “I’m going to go to Fjord’s.”

Relief flooded Jester’s expression and Yasha gave a small nod, “We’ll have dinner ready for when you come back.”

Beau gave them both a rueful smile, taking a moment to admire the simple domesticity of them with Jester chopping carrots and Yasha stirring a pot on the stove. She couldn’t believe this was her life now, after so much time believing she was undeserving of anything half as lovely. A square window of warm yellow light on a dark street, always there for her.

And she would repay them by continuing to get better.

Beau shouldered on her jacket and slipped her feet into her comfy walking trainers, already planning out what she was going to say, how she was going to rescue the clusterfuck that had been their last interaction. At least it wasn’t the first time they’d had to do this, they were practically experts at navigating their way back to friendship after both letting their anger do the speaking for them.

She was a second from putting her hand on the door when someone knocked on it.

Frowning, Beau opened the door and sucked in a sharp breath.

Fjord stood on their doormat, panting heavily like he’d run there. A gym bag sat at his feet, haphazardly stuffed and hastily zipped. He was shivering in just a t-shirt and jeans, the cold night air turning his joints a harsh, dark green, arms wrapped around himself protectively and his eyes red and raw.

And an angry swelling around one streaming eye.

“I…” his voice was raspy, like he was struggling to get the words out, “Um, I broke up with Avantika. Can I sleep on your couch tonight?”

Fury flooded Beau within an instant, her jaw clenching hard and her hands turning into white knuckled fists. Adrenaline snapped hard in her chest, making her voice a low growl, “I’m going to kill her. I’m going to fucking kill her.”

Fjord closed his eyes, shrinking down, looking so completely defeated, like a man with water up to his jawline and rising, “Beau...please, I...I just need a friend right now. Please?”

Beau found it hard to control her emotions, as a rule, particularly negative ones. They seemed to take root in her, in her muscles and chest and nerves, and take over until it was so hard to care about anything else.

But the one thing Beau did care about more than anything was the people she loved.

So she inhaled deeply, feeling it fill her up, as the monks had taught her. And as she exhaled, her jaw unclenched, her fingers spread and palms opened.

“Of course,” she reached out and put her hand on Fjord’s arm, gently bringing him inside, “Jester can have a look at that eye and we’ll make a bed up for you. Stay as long as you like, man, seriously.”

Fjord’s lower lip trembled and he bit down on it, hard, just nodding.

“Hey,” Beau murmured quietly, dropping her voice before folding him into the attentions of her family, the wide eyes and gasps and immediate action, the realities of his healing, “You’re safe here. Okay?”

Fjord gave a shuddery gasp and in it Beau could hear every time he’d let something slip as a teenager about the realities of the Asylum, every disastrous break up with women he couldn’t force himself to love, every impossible rule he’d been given to live by, every nightmare and flinch away from a raised voice, every scar he’d been given by so many people. She heard a lifetime of hurt start to shift like an earthquake starting to stir.

“Okay,” Fjord breathed, tears starting to fall.

Caduceus stayed in bed far past his alarm, lying on his side and listening to it’s dull buzz in the predawn gloom. He’d been awake long before it sounded but now it had, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

All he could do was replay the kiss over and over in his mind, the last moments he would ever spend with Fjord. He frantically searched for something, anything he could have done to change the outcome, changing his words and actions over in his mind like puzzle pieces he couldn’t make fit. Was there any way he could have kept Fjord close to him, taken the fear out of his eyes, any way he could have turned him around in the darkness?

He knew it would do no good but he couldn’t stop his mind chewing it over, punishing himself for every choice and everything he could have done differently.

It was as if the clocks had turned back on him and he was the firbolg he’d been two years and change ago. The one with weights on his wrists and ankles keeping him pinned to his too small bed, lost and depressed and scared to go out into the loud, foreign city he didn’t know, endlessly punishing himself for leaving too soon, for leaving too late, for leaving full stop. Falling before he’d even taken his first step, building walls around himself when he’d worked so hard to be free.

He couldn’t bear that again. So Caduceus did what he had done two years ago and touched the earring that looped through his right ear. He’d always played with his ears as a child, running his fingers over their soft edges to calm himself whenever he was anxious. Apparently he’d done it as a baby too, when he’d been born with the largest set of ears any of his family had ever seen on a newborn, so the story went. So when he’d been thinking where to set his mark of the Wildmother, the choice had seemed obvious.

He ran his thumb over the carved, polished oak, following the whorl of the wood and took a deep breath.

“Please give me strength,” he murmured, “I’m going to need you to get through today. And...wherever he is, please protect him. Please make sure he’s okay.”

And then he got up, far from ready to face the space in the cafe beside him that would always feel empty, but at least able to try.

He tried to focus on simple things, once the door to the cafe had closed behind him, letting out it’s usual cheery ring.

Take off your coat. Hang it up. Take out your apron. Put it on, double knotted at the front. Take the first chair down. Then the next. Then the next.

Simple instructions for an exhausted brain and an aching heart. And it worked, for a time. It stopped him thinking about how Fjord would be coming up the street right now, how the bell would seem extra bright when he pushed it back. How he would call out a friendly hello and probably use some slang term Caduceus wouldn’t understand but he would put together from context. How he’d be wearing shorts, even in the cold and Cad would tease him for it and Fjord would jokingly call him his grandmother in return. How he’d help him take the chairs down, going twice as fast as he did, asking when Cad would be putting the croissants in the oven because it just so happened he’d missed breakfast that morning, just a coincidence. How he’d call him Caddy and be the only person who ever had.

Maybe it wasn’t working as well as he’d thought.

Fortunately, the ringing of the bell above the door gave him something else to think about.

“I’m sorry, we’re not quite open yet,” Cad straightened up, “But if you’d like to take a seat, I can get the kettle on…”

“I think I’d like that,” Fjord answered, his voice small and hopeful, “If you had the time.”

Caduceus froze, eyes widening, wondering if he was still back in his bed, listening to the alarm and had finally drifted to sleep. But he never would have imagined Fjord like this, looking so tired and hollowed out, with a fading, sickly yellow shadow over one eye and a fresh scab on his lip.

The marks were all he could see, hand lifting to touch them, heal them without question but he forced himself to stop, “Who…”

Shame darkened Fjord’s expression and he hunched his shoulders, “Um...Avantika…”

Cad’s jaw dropped and he felt a pit of disbelief open up inside him, quickly filled by an anger he’d only felt rarely but when he did, it was like a forest bursting into flames, “What?”

Fjord winced, “Don’t worry, I’m done with her. I mean it, for good. She’s leaving anyway and...and I just want to let it go, okay?”

Cad quelled his anger, tucking it away to examine later, “So...she’s going and you’re…”

Fjord smiled then, even as it clearly tugged painfully on his lip, “I’m staying.”

Cad blinked, shaking his head slowly, wanting to believe it so desperately but terrified of being hurt again, pulled in two directions at once, “You’re staying? For good?”

Fjord nodded, “With Beau and Jester and Yasha until I can sort something more permanent than their couch. I mean, I still need to get stuff from...from her place and...I-I’ve never really put down roots anywhere so…”

He even sounded different. His accent had shifted slightly, like a layer of it had been pulled away. A lot of him seemed to have been pulled away, actually, pared back and stripped down and he was trying to figure out what was left.

“I’d like to work here again, if you’d have me,” Fjord asked shyly, “I mean, I’d completely understand if you weren’t comfortable with that. After...after everything.”

Yes, Cad wanted to answer wholeheartedly but he made himself stop.

“After what, Fjord?” he said instead, “I think we need to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be right now but we need to.”

Fjord shook his head, “No. I mean, thank you but no. You’re right, we need to talk about it and we need to talk about it now. I’ve waited far too long already.”

Cad nodded and gestured to the table he stood by. None of the tables or chairs in the cafe matched, as he’d sourced them from half a hundred different thrift stores and flea markets and scrap yards. This one was black wrought iron with a mosaiced top, flowers done in squares of leaded glass. It was a table made for partners, for third or fourth dates, only big enough for two people to sit close with not an inch of spare space.

Fjord sat across from him willingly. He’d looked like he’d slept in the clothes he was wearing and judging by the room, they were probably Yasha’s. Cad wondered if the ladies even knew he was here, as early as it was.

“I, um…” Fjord cleared his throat, “I want to apologise for the kiss last night. Not that I did it, just the way I reacted. Well...maybe how I did it too. That wasn’t how I’d want our first kiss to go. What I mean is, I want to kiss you, Caduceus. I...I like you. In that way.”

Cad felt something come to life in his chest, a fluttering that settled in his throat as his heart began to pound, “I like you in that way too, Fjord. I have for a while.”

Fjord’s golden eyes widened, “Really? I...I hoped, I thought I saw it sometimes but I didn’t know if I was seeing what I wanted to see.”

“Neither did I,” Cad smiled kindly.

That made him smile again, that shy hesitant smile. He took a deep breath, fixing his gaze on the table top while he marshalled his thoughts, like he was having to rearrange everything with this new information.

“Um...it might seem stupid but knowing I...I can feel this way, I’ve kind of only known it since yesterday. Well, not really, it’s always kind of been there but up until now I tried to hide it, even from myself. It just wasn’t something I could be, it wasn’t allowed in the world I lived in until I met you,” Fjord swallowed hard, “In the orphanage, I would have been beaten up for it. In high school I would have been even more rejected than I already was, on Vandran’s ship, I...I would have lost the only man who I could call a father. But I didn’t realise how much it was hurting me, how...how it was like an infection? The more I tried to hide this part of me, the sicker I got, the more twisted, the more sad.”

Cad only nodded and gazed at him, trying to be a constant, sure presence.

“But...I’m done feeling sick,” Fjord took a shaky breath, “I’m done hiding it. I’m...I’m gay,” his voice broke almost immediatley and his face crumbled, tears flooding into his eyes, “Gods, I’m sorry…”

Cad leaned forward, voice soft, “Oh, Fjord, it’s okay. I promise it’s okay...can I touch you?”

Fjord nodded wordlessly as his shoulders shook, gripping back just as tight when Cad wound their fingers together and held fast.

“It’s okay,” Cad stroked his thumb across his knuckles, feeling the scars and callus there, “Fjord, it’s okay to feel grief, it’s okay to feel lost and confused and happy, all of these things come with realisations like this. But I need you to understand you’ve just done a wonderful, brave, beautiful thing and I am so very proud of you.”

Fjord didn’t fight his tears, they fell on their joined hands as he gasped out, “But...I don’t know when I’ll feel comfortable kissing you, I don’t know when I’ll be able to say ‘I love you’, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have sex with you...Cad, I can’t ask you to take all this on.”

“Yes, you can,” Caduceus said, firmly, “You can, Fjord, because you are worthy of love. You are worthy of patience and care and kindness. You can always ask. And I am saying yes.”

Fjord gave a sodden, shaky gasp and collapsed fully into his tears, pitching forward, stumbling until Caduceus caught him. He caught him and he held on tight, as strong as any anchor had ever held a ship, folding him into his arms and letting him sob into his chest. With the scent of fresh breeze and dew heavy flowers around them, Caduceus held the man he loved and who loved him back and let him cry. As he would through so many hard days and difficult times.

Eventually, Fjord’s tears ran out. In Cad’s arms he felt so small, like he’d shrunk down without the weight of the poison he’d purged. He let him pull away for air, holding his face in his hands and stroking his damp cheeks so gently.

He wasn’t looking at the mask of a man who had believed all the lies he’d been given and swallowed the hate he’d been shown for long, long years. But nor was he looking at the man who’d made him laugh so much, who’d been occupying his cafe for the last months, the one who had reached out to the Wildmother and Caduceus with hope and desperation in his eyes.

Caduceus was looking at someone new, someone halfway between those two and someone entirely himself. He was looking at Fjord at the very start of a long and difficult journey. He was looking at the man he now realised the Wildmother had put him on this earth to love.

They kissed, a soft and gentle kiss, shy and sweet as honey. And this time, Fjord smiled from ear to ear.

It would be hard for both of them at times. They would both struggle and cry and need different things at different times. But it would always wash up better than when they started, they would grow together stronger.

And both of them knew the light would always be left on.

A year was a long damn time to keep a secret. Beau was pretty pleased with herself for managing it.

She would hide her knowing grins behind her coffee cup as they’d all sit together in the Blooming Grove and someone would bring up how strange it was that Caduceus hadn’t found someone for all the time he’d been in the city. She’d feel a burst of pride when one of them would comment on how much happier Fjord was looking, how his tusks were coming in, how therapy seemed to be doing him a world of good, if they really were just going to ignore the fact that his accent had totally changed. She’d snort down laughter whenever Caleb would cluelessly comment that Fjord and Caduceus had been in the back room an awful long time for guys who were just supposed to be getting sugar and why did that take two people in the first place anyway?

Because she’d spent nearly her whole life looking out for her best friend, ever since they were in high school. There was no way she was going to miss how Fjord would put his hand in places it had no rightful reason to be during work hours, when he thought the counter was hiding them better than it was and Cad happened to be passing by. She wasn’t going to miss how, whenever busy days or stormy weather would have Fjord paled and shaking, Caduceus would be the person he’d turn to. She wasn’t going to miss the extra long lunch breaks in the back room or how late Fjord would come home some nights, after cleaning up apparently took hours longer than expected.

But she said nothing, shrugging innocently whenever asked, all while watching through the corner of her eye as Fjord stole a kiss to the back of Cad’s hand behind the coffee machine.

There were no secrets with family after all.

[kaylathekittykat225]

Covert Feelings Exposed // Tim Drake!Robin X Reader

Warning/s: Just, being sad or upset, kinda fluff sorta I don’t know

Word Count: 3158

Hey guys, am not dead, sorry. Still working on my Steve Harrington one, because it just WON’T STOP GROWING. Anyway, I just really need to accept an ending and be done. Okay, onwards with Tim Drake.

Here’s my Masterlist.

ALSO! T/F/C is your two favorite colors.

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Another covert mission gone wrong; the covertness was what went wrong really.

All you guys had to do was get in, break down the central main frame and get out without making a fuss. Beast Boy made sure that wasn't a thing.

The team did manage to complete the mission and take down another one of the Light's mini Headquarters, but they were getting harder and harder to take down and more of your team members have taken more damage the harder the missions become to stay covert. 

But everyone was here safe and sound, no one physically hurt, other than Bart coming home with a gash over his head and a strong talking down to from Nightwing.

Emotionally was a completely different story. 

"Alright everyone, hit the showers while you can, I think we all deserved it after that dip in the septic tanks we all the work we did today." Nightwing told his team, exhaustion telling his body to sleep, but still being able to chuckle to himself quietly as he watched half the team race each other to the bathrooms for first dibs while the other half left to go to their rooms and just wait for a free shower. 

With everyone leaving the main hall, that left you, Robin, and Nightwing in the main hall of Mount Justice. The two of them turned away from you and began to have a hushed conversation making sure that you were out of ear shot, ignoring your presence and leaving you to stand alone to the side. 

You took the hint that your presence wasn't wanted and left to be on your own. 

But, unlike what you thought, your leaving didn't go unnoticed. Robin kept his eyes trained on you while he pretended to listen to Nightwing. 

He noticed how your uniform was filthy, covered in mud and dirt, your hair was everywhere you wouldn't normally want it to be, your entire physique sluggish and beaten down. 

You didn't look like you.

"Go check on Y/S/N, would you, Tim?" Robin turned to look at his leader and friend and saw Nightwing noticing your leave as well. "She needs her best friend." 

Nodding, the young Robin ran after you; his cape fluttering behind him, his footsteps silent from sheer instinct of being trained by the light-footed Bruce Wayne. 

He followed you into the lounge and found you trying to hide in the couch, your body sprawled over the plush furniture with your arms spread across the back of the couch and your head leaning against the back the couch.

Robin stepped over your legs that you had propped up on the table and fell onto the couch next to you. "Heya, Y/S/N." He greeted you, his legs sliding up onto the couch and slipping his feet under your leg and he kept his eyes on you, watching your every move.

You hummed quietly back in reply, never moving your body on the comfy couch, leaving Tim to continue watching you.

In the long silence, Tim took in every bit of your face that he could see, thinking back to the time when you two first really met, to him it was just the start of another day at Gotham academy for him. 

Tim made his way into Gotham Academy, like any other day, he was roughly fifteen minutes ear, leaving time for him to grab his books from his locker that he left in there overnight. 

Unlike how every other morning began, Tim hear someone screaming madly, the screaming only coming closer to him. "Look out!" The black-haired sophomore looked up from his phone and saw someone on a long board barrelling towards him. "Can't stop! Can't stop!" They screamed as they swerved towards him uncontrollably on the piece of wood on wheels.

Tim jumped out of the way, his Robin instincts gave him more than enough time to move himself from being a point of impact while also dropping his bag and reaching out towards the person on the skateboard. Tim wouldn't be surprised if, with how fast the person was rolling, they would have killed themselves against the wall behind him. 

"Oh thank God," The person Tim now had tucked into his chest breathed out a sigh of relief as the two of them watched the skateboard clatter against the brick wall. 

"You okay?" Tim inquired as the person ran away from his body, their sudden warmth leaving him a little colder than he was a minute ago, and grabbed their board, giving Tim a full view of you. 

"Yeah, thanks for grabbing me, would have been a pancake on that wall. Oh, I'd be a wallcake! You flashed a happy grin at him, showing how you didn't seem phased by the almost dying bit. He saw the T/F/C bares in your mouth, the smile running up to your E/C eyes, causing them to sparkle as you laughed. 

"Yeah, it's no problem, glad I could save you from being a wall cake." He chuckled, his arm scratching the back of his neck, still hearing at you and seeing what you looked like, knowing he had seen you before but just couldn't place you. "Oh, I'm um, I'm Tim, Tim Drake." He explained his name, extending his hand out towards you, waiting for you to take it. 

"Nice to finally talk to you, Tim, I'm Y/N Y/L/N." As you took his hand, your name hung in his head, his eyes squinting and head giving a slight tilt to the left as he tried to fix where he knew you from. "You know should really turn around in Chemistry and English more often." 

"Oh, Oh yeah!" You giggled as your name and face finally clicked in his mind, his blue eyes shining in the early morning sun light. "I guess I just never talked to you before."

"Funny since you've run into me at least three times this past week," You smiled cheekily at him, watching a light blush brush his cheeks. "I don't blame you since your nose is always in that phone of yours, I'm sure texting either your mother, your best friend or a potential girlfriend." 

"I'm...it’s...I'm not-I don't have a-"

"Whoa, is this what it's like to be tall?" You saw you made him uncomfortable, and being you, decided to stand on your long board and skate circles around him to relieve the tension you caused, it wasn't wrong for you to assume the nice-looking Drake to have a significant other. "Wow, the weather is so much better up here than at Y/H."

Tim finally crackled a smile, smiling down at the ground and watched your skateboard circle around him, finally getting to see the white sandpaper like grip and the scarlet wheels, an extremely gorgeous board. "Are you new to skateboarding?" 

"Yes and no, I've been skateboarding since I was seven, but I took time off and I got a new board and just got back on it like a couple days ago blah blah blah, yeah, I over estimated my skateboarding awesomeness I had as muscle memories give or take two years ago." The bell rang inside the school, signalling a five-minute warning to get to your classes. You two smiled at each other and walked into the courtyard, Tim keeping close to your side to make sure you didn't try becoming a wallcake again that day.

Three years later, you two were best friends, tackling Senior year together with your skateboard still a fun memory in your closet. Tim blinked his eyes, breaking himself out of that weird trance he goes to when he stares off into space and looked back over to you. 

You hadn't moved an inch since he walked in, your breathing the only bit of movement telling him that you were still alive. "Y/N," He whispered your name, gently moving his foot that was still wedged under your leg to see if you were responsive. "Y/N, you asleep over there?"

Groaning in response, you leaned forward and pulled your F/C domino mask from your face, tossing it on the table and proceeded to rub your eyes forcefully. "No," You mumbled to give him a concise response, your movements were rigid and forceful as you pulled both your heeled boots and your gloves next to your mask. 

He continued to watch you, observing and noting everything you did. Your eyes were dull as you pulled the tight boots off, your hands trembling as you finally pulled them free of the leather of your gloves. 

You still didn't look like you.

"You okay?" Tim reached over and gently laid his hand on your shoulder, rubbing his thumb against your back. 

You breathed in a little too deeply and the air quickly and shakily sputtered out between your lips, your shuddery breaths now beginning to shake your body. "No," you whined as you curled yourself up into as small of a ball as you could and laid your head down on Tim's lap, staring at the black TV just behind the tips of his boots.

"What's wrong love bug?" Tim whispered to you as he took his gloves off and began running his slim fingers through your hair, pulling out the leaves and bits of mud and tangles in your hair. You didn't give him a straightforward answer right away, what did happen however was that Tim's leg quickly broke out in goosebumps as you began tracing an endless circle on his thigh with your index finger. 

"It's just...getting so hard." Your meek voice cut through the silent air; Tim looked down at you as you finally spoke. Just the look on your face answered what you meant, and he couldn't help the sigh of agreement. 

"I know it is, love bug, it's getting hard for all of us. But we're almost there, Nightwing says only a few more until we finally can infiltrate their systems and drive them down." Humming, you turned your body around and nuzzled your face into his stomach. 

It took so long for Tim to get used to how touchy you were, being in from the Bat Family, it was not a thing to be cuddly and expect a hug when you're feeling down. Tim just had to keep his head up and pretend nothing was wrong. 

But when you finally broke through to him, he loved having you there to be able to hug. He had suppressed his need for physical touch for so long that he relished every chance he got to hug you or whenever you needed a movie cuddle buddy.

He loved your body touching his, but looking down at you, he knew that you need him right now more than anything else in the world. Tim had grown to know you so well that he could look at your face, even if it was half hidden in his stomach, and know when you needed quiet or you needed someone to ask you what was wrong. 

"Has it just all hit you at once?" Tim asked quietly as he brushed a small piece of hair behind your ear, smiling as you leaned into the touch of his hand. 

"Mmm," Your jaw clenched as you tried biting back the words, you wanted to talk so badly, but you also knew that as soon as you opened your mouth, you would just remember how your two best friends almost died right before your eyes. "Bart's so stupid." 

Tim chuckled at your comment, "You can say that again." You couldn't laugh though; Tim didn't see it like you did. 

"The idiot tripped and almost got himself killed," The words stumbled out of your mouth and you were there again, watching as one the Black Mantra's men had a gun pointed directly at the young brunette who befriended you almost as soon as he stepped out of the time machine. "He was too busy gloating about hitting his new PR for punching fifteen guys before Jaime could get one hit in and he didn't see the gun pointed right at him.

"I was so scared, Tim, I never ran so fast in my life towards him, I...I pushed him out of the gun's path and he just looked at me like I ruined his streak or something. But I can't look at him now without seeing how he almost died. Tim, he almost died, and he doesn't even know how close he was to death taking him. I don't know how I could hav-we lost Artemis; I couldn't lose him to." 

The tears were freely falling down your face, your eyes staring at the red color of his uniform. A warm and gentle hand trace under your eyes, swiping the tears from your face. You looked up and saw the masked face of the third Robin staring down at you, a small smile gracing his face, making him look a little more carefree than how he should be as a superhero. 

You reached your hand up and brushed your fingertips against his temple as you pulled his black mask off, his bright blue met your E/C one's and you felt your own eyes get heavy again. He was right, everything was just hitting you now.

"I don't know why I'm crying over Bart; he does this almost every mission, endangering himself and everyone." You were finally able to let out a strained laugh, your eyes still tearing up, but you did feel better. 

Tim quietly whined as you sat up, feeling cold without you pressed to him like you were, your back to him now. "It's cause you were scared for him, Y/N. And you care for him, you were scared that Bart would get hurt like we all do, and you didn't want that."

You slowly turned back to him, nodding in agreement since even you didn't know why you were feeling this way. Tim opened his arms out towards you, becoming you back into his warm body, both of you wanting to feel each other's presence again. The smile didn't leave your face as you leaned towards him, his arms wrapping tight around you and pulled your body to sit on his lap.

"You know we both need to go shower; I feel disgusting and I smell horrible." Your actions did not match your words as you wiggle your arms around his toned chest, hugging himself to you as you snuggled your face into the crook of his neck to enjoy his natural musk. 

"Well I think you smell fine," Tim chuckled, looking down at you after he pressed a kiss to your forehead, seeing your own smile shining back at him. He was glad to be able to bring you out of your little rut. 

Looking at your teeth, he couldn't help the other laugh that came over him, "What? Do I have mud on my face? I really do need to go shower." You exclaimed while trying to pull away from your best friend, but his grip only tightened around you. 

"No, I was just...remember when you had those god-awful T/F/Ced braces?" The scowl on your face told him that yes, you did remember the metal painfully pulling at your mouth. 

"Oh, you mean the ones that made my mouth look like the grill of a car? Yes, Timothy, I remember them every clearly." You absentmindedly ran your tongue over your teeth, comparing how smooth they were now in comparison to how they use to feel. 

"Yeah, they looked horrible!" 

You lightly poked Tim's shoulder, "I'm the one with three years' worth of pictures of me in them, don't make fun of me."

Tim's chest lightly vibrated as he chuckled at the pile of pictures he saved on his computer he's using later for blackmail. Gosh how much he loves you; he always had those thought running through his head, and like any other day he thought he only whispered that in his head.

Unlike any other day, he didn't just whisper it in his head. "Hmm?" Your eyes opened and met his light blue ones, alight rose hue dusted across his cheeks as he tried recovering from saying that. 

"Well-you know-I only meant it-you see-" His stuttering over his words was cute, but what made your heart melt at how cute he was when you giggled before you echoed the phrase back at him. 

"I love you, too, Tim." If his shocked eyes could widen any more than they already were, they did.

"You-you do?" You smiled at him and nodded your head happily, your heart bursting with joy at the smile on his face. "I love you! I love you so much! And you love me too!" Tim screamed like an excited five-year-old on his birthday as he stood to his feet, still holding your body to his chest as he spun you around. Your arms moved up to his neck as you held tightly to him, your giggling no ceasing as he spun the two of you dizzy in the middle of the lounge. 

The overly excited Tm placed your feet on the floor, as soon as your jello like feet hit the ground, Tim gently laid his hand on your cheek and pulled you towards him to kiss him, his other hand pulling you closer to him rested at the top of your hip.

You hummed happily as you kept your arms around his neck, your head was still spinning but right now all that mattered was you and Tim kissing in the middle of Mount Justice without anyone bugging you two. 

Dick Grayson leaned against the door frame leading from the kitchen to the lounge with his arms crossed over his broad chest, a smile very apparent on his face while he watched his adopted little brother kiss you in the lounge. Honestly, it took them long enough to get together, Tim was always so fond of the young super. He acted more like a teenager and less like a nighttime vigilante with you around. 

Feeling like living up to his name, the black dressed man quietly stepped up on the two and wrapped his arms around you two, promptly being the reason for breaking the kiss, a loud shriek coming from one of you. 

Probably Tim. 

"I wanted to join in the happy moment," He coyly grinned down at the pair of you, your face going red before you hide it in Tim's chest, Tim's blue eyes still wide in shock as a blush graved his own face. 

"Dick!" 

"What have I told you all about that word!" M'gann's voice joined the group from the kitchen, Dick began threw his head back in laughter while you tired hiding your now red ears and Tim glared at his brother while trying to pull the two of you away from him. 

This was a much better ending to the day than how you originally thought it would.

[shittyfandomimagines]

ocean eyes (l.h)

Word count: 1,868

Angst galore based off of ocean eyes (Billie Eilish)

GIF creds to owner,

Blue. I never was one to fall for that color of eyes, I was always fascinated by hazel eyes or brown eyes, something about the way light hit them. They held so many layers of beauty but then I saw his eyes, the ocean blue eyes that made me melt in a whole new way.

I hated those eyes though, only sometimes though. They made me angry when they held nothing but anger like they are right now. I can only see hostility and annoyance instead of the usual serenity and fun, I didn’t like it.

“Luke, I just want to talk about this, please.” I bit onto my lip harshly, I felt so weak under his stare. “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to, I’m not forcing you to stay. I’m not going to beg you to be a supporter in my life if you don’t want to.” He snaps and I felt tears pool into my eyes as he just stared into mine blankly.

“I don’t want to lose you, I just don’t know why you can’t spend more time with me. I just wanted to ask you to be home more and support me for a change. You just party or have sessions with the boys, I want you to be happy and successful, but what about me?” My lips quivered as I tried not to let my voice waver.

“What about you? You live like a fucking happy and successful person too! You don’t have to pay for much and you get to stay in a fucking mansion in Los Angeles! I do a lot for you and I don’t have to, what else do you need from me?”

“I only needed you, needed you home maybe. Needed your comfort when you decided to stay at Calum’s house instead so you could finish a riff. Or when I had a cold and you didn’t even want to be near a sick person so you stayed in a hotel. I guess I’m just conceded and needed you.” I stared back into his eyes with just as much anger. I didn’t like looking at him when I was angry, it was like I lost a little love when I did.

“I guess you are just conceded.” He picked his keys up from the bar and made his way to the door. “If you walk out Luke, then it’s done. I’ll be gone too and I won’t be back.” I yelled when his hand met the handle.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.” He yelled back before walking out of the door, he slammed it shut to the point where I jumped at the rattling of the picture frames. One hit the floor and glass shattered, I walked around the bar to investigate which picture it was. I knew the frame was in the shape of dog paws and it must’ve been the one of Petunia, Luke, and I when we first moved in. Easier times.

I pick up the glass to ensure Petunias safety, hers mattered more than mine. “Do you think he still loves me, Piggy?” I pet her soft skin and she whines a little. I had tears hitting her skin when I hugged her, my heart broke as she whined more, I knew she missed Luke too.

I made my way upstairs and to our designated storage room, I wanted nothing more to drag my suitcase out of the closet but I couldn’t. So instead I drug the shoebox of pictures out of the cabinet, at least I could look back at better times.

I flipped through some, most of them so far had been out individual pictures of our childhood. I found the 5sos pictures of their first venue and I smiled at the fetus look, my heart warmed because of their success, something I’d always support of Luke.

I flipped through different ones until I found our first picture from their whole family gathering, the Hemmings Barbecue Party, something they had every year and I was invited when we had been together around 5 months. I had known his immediate family for so long but to get to see his cousins and aunts was so fun.

I remember them swimming in the backyard, he had come out of the water and his cousin joked about how his eyes almost matched the color of the pool. His baby cousin saying mine matched the grass instead. Oh, how those eyes hurt you.

“Piggy, you would love Australia.” I rub her eyes and I put the picture back, I turn over a few more individual pictures before getting to the day we first moved in here. I remember looking into those eyes as he kissed my cheeks softly, he was grinning ear to ear with the happiness of being here with Piggy and me.

A teardrop hit the picture slowly, my eyes heavier and heart sadder than it has been in forever. I wiped it off the picture with my shirt, I had to put the box up before I had a mental breakdown.

I wonder if I’d ever make him as happy as I did when we first moved into this house or even when we confessed our love to each other while being drunk off our asses. I didn’t think love was real until I looked into the depths of his eyes as he said it, we were holding hands as we were about to exit out of the car for an award show, he was nervous and shaky. He said it with fear and hope, his eyes twinkled when they made my happy ones, oh to be back to that day.

I finally grab the suitcase when my heart decided it was time to pack up, it was just too far along to replace all of the hurt. Too many slammed doors and raised voices. Too many jumps without being caught, knowing I had a fear of falling.

I fold my favorite comfy clothes into the suitcase as I knew I wouldn’t need fancy clothes during this type of heartache.

Once all of my sweat pants and tops were folded neatly, I zipped up the bag and put the wheels onto the floor. Piggy and I made our way downstairs to the kitchen, I pulled out a puppy pad and filled up both of her bowls.

“Petunia, I love you more than life itself. I’m going to miss and I’ll text your daddy that you’re home alone. I don’t want you starving or peeing everywhere. You’re amazing.” I kiss all over her face and I heard her whines, I knew her doggy intuitions we’re kicking in. Something is wrong. Very wrong.

I turned the main lights off as I made my way to the door, leaving a note by the key holder. I always left the lamps on for Luke to have a path whenever he came home, or if he even would come home. The note explained that I was out of his hair and that there wasn’t an apparent reason to fight for me anymore. I wasn’t worthy of a fight anyways.

Just as my hand went to reach the handle when it started to turn on its own, Luke’s lanky body busted through the door, my face only an inch from getting the shit knocked out of it.

I tried to bypass by him with my suitcase, but he yanked it out of my hands. “Where are going?” He asks and I laugh. “I told you it was the last time Luke, I’m leaving.” I surprisingly stood my ground.

“Not without a fight from me.” He crossed his arms, I took that opportunity to yank my suitcase back. “A fight is what got us here, so I’m leaving Luke. I fed Piggy and I’m headed out now. I’ll come back for any other items of mine.” I open the door once again and he slammed it shut. He took my suitcase from my hand, walked to the living room and dumped its contents onto the couch, and then walked back to me. “Luke! You’re being fucking childish.” I push his chest and move past him to my now dumped clothes.

“You’re the one leaving!” He yells back and I found myself laughing at that. “You fucking walked out when I told you I would leave if you did!” I screamed and he slumped slightly. “But I didn’t even leave the driveway! So technically I didn’t leave the house completely. I saw you turn the lights off but leave the lamps on, so I figured you were going to bed. I didn’t want you going to sleep angry so I came in to talk to you.” He was crossing his arms and huffing loudly.

“You’re not going to miss much when I’m gone, just a punching bag really.” I folded the things neatly, I was beyond annoyed and above hurt. “You’re not my punching bag.” He uncrosses his arms and I stop my movements abruptly.

When I finally look up at him I saw the tears in those ocean eyes, the ones who hurt me the most earlier. “The way you so effortlessly hurt me, looked me in the eyes knowing I was going to cry as you told me I was conceded. You walked out of that door knowing I wanted to leave and you didn’t stop there. You’re done using me.” I start to stack the clothes back into the suitcase.

“I do use you and I can’t even deny that. I don’t use you as a punching bag but I use you as a crutch, friend, lover, roommate, potential wife, and everything I need. You are my life and I know I’ve been an ass but I still love you.”

“Sorries don’t fix my sorrows, Luke. You ask me to jump and I say how high, well once you come up you only have a straight way down and you know I have a fear of falling. I fell for you and fall for you every day yet I actually thought you’d catch me. I’m done, Luke. I’m done jumping.” I zip the case up and stick it on the ground.

“I don’t want you to leave, I said hurtful things but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore. You’re my girlfriend and I’m beyond in love with you. I can’t lose you.” He was bawling at this point, I hated that I wanted to punch myself for making those pretty blue eyes cry. Then again, he deserved the pain I’ve felt for a while now.

“I need space.”

I walk past him and out to my car, I couldn’t handle looking into those ocean eyes. They were more than just a color, they were a current. They were the waves crashing on the shore, showing the serenity of the oceans natural power. They held all the love and emotion for humans to see. They were riptides that sucked you up when you were trying to have fun, they fight to get to shore and to breath on your own. They weren’t a color, they were a force of earths control.

[sarahjane0886]

Fix A Heart 4 (Chmergess)

Over & Over Again (Part 1) 

From the way you smile to the way you look You capture me unlike no other From the first hello, yeah, that’s all it took And suddenly we had each other

It had been a year. A whole year from the terrible time in Sharna’s life. Over the course of that year she had progressed in leaps and bounds. She took Val’s words and focused on herself. She allowed Val, Peta, Maks and her girlfriends to truly step up and catch her when she needed. It took awhile to settle a lot of her fears but the moment she surpassed each one it was like an amazing hurdle in life. She had just finished up an amazing season on DWTS and was forever thankful for that time she had with her favorite Mr. James Hinchcliffe. Unfortunately the show hadn’t ended with their win but with a win for Val and Laurie whom Sharna believed deserved it just as much.

It was almost time for tour to start however this time was a little different. Her mom had come to visit for quite some time and was going to be keeping Daisy & Duke. Her babies. No, not real babies but her fur babies. Those two were just pieces of hurdles that she had cleared. She had always wanted dogs however Paul had hated dogs so they never had one. Once she had gotten her own place, another hurdle, she had shortly after gotten the sweet precious puppies.

“Hey you, you ready?” Val yelled at the redhead when they finished up their last stop before Christmas.

“Yup goof. Mom made it didn’t she?” She asked as she gathered her stuff up. Her and Val were flying to New Jersey to spend the holidays with the rest of the family.

“Woo made it. Maks texted a little while ago and said they had her at the house. You and her are staying there.”

“Wait no, I thought we were staying in the hotel.” Sharna said looking at him confused.

“Uh yeah no, Peta veto’d that immediately. She refused to let the two of you stay in a hotel. She said she’d even give you one of their cars to use when you want to go do stuff.”

“Oh that girl.”

“Gotta love her and we know right now we don’t fight with her.” Val said slinging Sharna’s backpack on his free shoulder and grabbing her duffel.

“Uhh, no we don’t.” Sharna said giggling thinking of her 9 months pregnant best friend. Some pregnancies made people feisty, however this one had made Peta feisty. Val nodded in agreement and the two grabbed their car to the airport. Everyone was heading their separate ways so that they could go see family and friends before having to return to tour. Val and Sharna just made it through security and everything to catch their flight on time.

“Made it.” Val said as they collapsed into seats. He chucked their bags in the overhead space above his head.

“Wait. Your sweater?” She said teasingly.

“Princesssssssss.” He groaned realizing his sweater was in his bag, the bag he had chucked behind hers.

“Quick. We aren’t moving yet. I’m going to get cold. We have like 6 hours. Pleaseeee.” She said giving him her best puppy dog eyes look.

“Its a good thing I love you.” He said as he stood up and opened the overhead. He ignored the flight attendants face as he grabbed Sharna’s bag and then his. He dug out his sweater before handing it to her and shoving everything back up into the top.

“Thank you.” She said kissing his cheek and cuddling the sweater. She slipped it over her small frame and sighed in happiness at it’s warmth.

“You’re welcome.” He said chuckling at her reaction as he buckled himself in again. They began to taxi at that point and the flight attendants began their spiel, Sharna threw her headphones in since she had never really enjoyed the whole take off thing and always used them as a distraction. Val knew this and slipped his hand into hers letting her hold onto him. Eventually they were in the air and headed for the city. The pilot let them know that they were free to move and took off the seat belts sign. They had a red-eye to New York so there wasn’t a whole lot of people on the flight. Val was getting ready to move across the aisle to curl up when Sharna stopped him.

“You’re sleeping right?” Sharna asked Val looking at him curiously.

“Yes, for sure. I’ll never make it through tomorrow if I don’t. I was actually going to move to that row over there and stretch out.”

“You’re going to leave me?” She whined slightly making him laugh at her protest.

“Babe, the whole plane is basically empty.”

“I know but you’re comfy.”

“You’re killing me girlie.” He said with a look at which she just crossed her arms and leaned against the window. He watched her for a moment before sighing. “Put your seat back and switch me.”

“Really!” She eeped pushing her seat back as far as it would go and then swapping him seats. He had already put his chair back before switching with her. He moved the armrest and shifted his body so he was leaning against the window but facing Sharna. He opened his arms pulled her into him. She settled into his chest immediately as her body tilted toward his. His arms held her in place while his head rested on hers.

“Sleep princess.” He said as he felt her relax. He waited awhile until he knew she was asleep and then he tried to sleep himself however now that the feisty red-head was in his arms, there was no way that was happening in the near future.

His fingers laced in her hair as he slowly let the red locks fall through his fingers. He hoped the motion would settle him and give his mind something to focus on however it just got him thinking even more about the girl in his arms. He knew he was falling for her and falling hard but he knew from what she had shared with him that she wasn’t ready for that. So he kept pushing it down but there was just something, something that lingered all the time. From the way she felt in his arms to her smile to her scent and all the way to her pout, it was all just special and made these stupid butterflies flutter in his stomach. He had only ever felt those butterflies one other time in life and that was the day he met her.

He was walking into rehearsals texting Dasha. He wasn’t paying attention to where he was walking up until he slammed into another body. He and his phone went flying right along with whomever he crashed into.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” A thick Australian accent asked in alarm.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I should have been paying more attention. How about you? You good?” Val said standing up and holding his hand out to her.

“I’m alright. But yeah you probably should watch out. Especially when there’s people like me walking around. I’m Sharna by the way.” She said as she allowed him to help her up and dust herself off.

“Peta’s friend?”

“If that’s a good thing then yes.” She said sassily and Val knew he liked her already.

“It’s a good thing. Peta is friends with my brother. I’ve heard a lot about you or well stories that is.”

“Shit. I’m screwed then.”

“Nah, all good. Trust me. We’ve all done stupid shit. It’s what makes us grow up and realize we’ve grown up. Anyway before I go all Socrates on you, I’m Val.”

“Alright Socrates Val, think you can point me in the right direction? I need to be at rehearsals and I would really like to not be late for the first day.” She said with a wink.

“I think I can handle that princess.” He said offering her his arm. She looked at him weirdly when he said Princess but just shrugged and went with it. They headed to rehearsals together talking and goofing off as Val introduced Sharna to everyone until Peta came and stole her best friend.

Sharna shifted in her sleep pulling Val out of his head. He smiled thinking about that day. For some reason from that day forward the two had a special bond that no one could break. He wouldn’t have changed that crash meeting for anything. He saw the time on his watch and realized he needed to figure out this sleep thing or Christmas was going to be hell. He shifted a tiny bit before pulling her in a little tighter and pressing his face into her hair. He focused on her deep breaths and eventually drifted off to sleep as well.

And I won’t leave you Always be true One plus one, two for life Over and over again

“So what are your intentions with my daughter?” Lucy said appearing next to Val at the Christmas party. He was leaning against the doorway watching the group play some weird game on their phones. He hasn’t joined in yet as he was trying to figure out exactly what the object was.

“What? I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Val stammered looking at Sharna’s mother.

“I see the way you look at her. The way you take care of her. You’re in love with her.” She said matter of factly.

“Woo, no disrespect ma'am but…..”

“Val, dear, I’m much older than you. Sometimes we old folks see things before the young crowd does. I think if you decided to move forward with those feelings then I think you would be the perfect thing that my daughter needs.”

“I…you may be right in my feelings however I’m not sure she’s ready to hear that yet. And she’s come so far this year, I can’t do anything that would mess that up for her. I can’t and I won’t.”

“I respect that more than anything which is a big part of why I think you are exactly what she needs in life. You are more than willing to protect her and do exactly what she needs before worrying about yourself. However, you don’t know how she will react if she has no idea how you even feel. You may need to tell her.”

“I…well. I don’t want to upset her.” Val said softly.

“I don’t think you will. You better than anyone know exactly how to talk to her. Sometimes even better than me or Peta.”

“Thank you.” Val said shy all of a sudden. An emotion he didn’t feel very often.

“Just take care of my baby Valentin. Especially because I’m usually so far away.” Lucy said patting the younger man’s shoulder.

“I will Woo. I made that promise a long time ago. I won’t let anything happen to that one.” He said with fierce conviction.

“I know you won’t. Thank you.” She said squeezing his shoulder one last time. She left him to continue his watch but he wasn’t alone for long.

“How come you aren’t playing mister? And what were you doing with my Woo?” Sharna said leaning into his side.

“I was watching and we were talking.” Val said as his arm looped around her. He felt her sink into him and he breathed her in. Maybe Woo was right. Maybe he should tell her.

“Should I be concerned?”

“Nope, all good things. I promise. But I do want to steal you for a little bit later.” He said absentmindedly.

“Val…” She said looking nervous. He had that tone to his voice right then. The one where he was trying to seem nonchalant but it just wasn’t working.

“Don’t worry princess. Nothing important. I just want some quiet Christmas time with my favorite girl.” Val said quickly as he looked down at her.

“Promise?”

“I promise. Now come show me how to play this game.” Val said pulling her back over to the group so he could distract her. He could nearly feel Peta and Woo watching the two of them and figured Peta had figured out the same thing Woo had. Eventually everyone started to head out but Val stuck around to get his Sharna time.

“Stay if you want man. The extra room is still open.” Maks said as he and Peta headed up to bed.

“Thanks.” Val said nodding as he said his goodnights to everyone else.

“Be careful with my girl, brother in law.” Peta said as she hugged.

“As care as I will be with my nephew. Goodnight Shai.” Val said as he said goodnight to Peta’s belly as well making her smile.

“Goodnight Pete. Goodnight Shai.” Sharna said as she hugged her best friend.

“Come on princess, come sit with me.” Val said leading her over to one of the windows in the house. Peta and Maks had a gorgeous house in their neighborhood but one of Val’s favorite rooms was the sun-room. Right now since it was winter, it was a little chilly so he grabbed an electric blanket before they settled down and he wrapped them up in it. They were settled in one of the large over sized chairs with Sharna tucked into his side, her head resting on his chest. They could easily see out the large glass windows into the starry sky with the snow that had fallen the previous day covering the backyard.

“It’s so pretty.” She said softly.

“It is. This will always be one of my favorite rooms in their house.” He said.

“I agree.”

“So how’s your Christmas?”

“Better than last year.”

“Umm I would say so. How are you with all that? I know we don’t really talk about it much anymore but you know I’m always here right?”

“I know Val. I’m actually doing okay. I think I needed to do what you had suggested in the winter and just focus on me rather than letting everything else dictate what or how my life was going to be like. And I realized as soon as I did that, that I had a great support system in place already. I didn’t need someone to make me happy or to do things for me. I was on a downward spiral in that department of life.”

“I’m glad you feel much better about that.”

“I wouldn’t have made it here without you thought. You know that right?”

“Babe, as much as I would love to take credit for this, this was all you.”

“No Val, no. You, you have helped me more than anyone else. You kept me all the time in the room. You were the one that helped me in the beginning. You were the one who gave me all the strength in the world. You were the one who helped me see what I needed to do. Val without you, I may still be with Paul for all we know. And so when I say I wouldn’t have made it here without you, I truly mean it. You’ve been my rock consistently through out all this and I love you so much for it.”

“I love you too princess. And I’m glad if there was anything or anyone who could have helped you that it was me. I wouldn’t have ever wanted you to be in that situation however I’m glad you’re out of it.”

“Me too.” She said softly sinking into his chest. They sat in silence for a while just enjoying each other’s company. During all of Sharna’s healing time, they had become very well versed in this. They could rock the comfortable silence better than anyone.

“Have you thought about dating again?” Val finally asked. He couldn’t figure out how to even broach the topic with her.

“I…well, yes and no. I can’t do that to someone though Val. I’m a hot mess. I’m jumpy as fuck. The dark still terrifies me and I come with a whole lot of baggage. And god only knows what’s going to happen if I ever try to have sex again, I may melt down into a straight panic attack. Who honestly wants to deal with that?” She rambled and he could feel her tensing up.

“Me.” He said and he felt her entire body pause as it registered what he said.

So, don’t ever think I need more I’ve got the one to live for No one else will do, and I’m telling you Just put your heart in my hands Promise it won’t get broken We’ll never forget this moment Yeah, we’ll stay brand-new ‘cause I’ll love you Over and over again Over and over again

“No. You can’t. You can’t be serious about that Valentin Alexsanderovich.” She said as she struggled to pull away from him.

“Whoa princess. Just hear me out okay?” He said loosening his grip but not letting go of her body.

“Val.” She said again and he could see a panic attack coming. He stood them up quickly and moved his hands down to her wrists.

“Breath. Breath. Deep breaths princess.” He said concerned as he stroked the backs of her hands as he watched her eventually calm down.

“You can’t.” She said as her eyes filled with tears. She struggled against him again and he wanted to let go because he knew that had been a huge issue in the past.

“I’ll let go. Please don’t run though. Just hear me out. And when I’m done, I’ll leave. You can decide what happens next. Only you beautiful.”

“Ok.” She said softly as the tears started to fall. He let go of her hands and she moved a step back but didn’t make any attempts to do anything else.

“The last 12 months have included some of the best moments of my life. Now like I always say there’s no way in hell that I would want you to go through that to get us here  but they always say there’s a reason for everything. Maybe this reason was to give me that final edge to see exactly what I’ve been missing in life.”

“But….I’m a mess Val. I can’t saddle you with that.”

“You wouldn’t be. I’m the one whose asking for this. And honestly I’m not even asking right now. I’m just telling you what’s happening. What I’m feeling.”

“I don’t know where you’re going with this.” She said as she sank down into the love seat and pulled her knees into her chest.

“I’m not sure I do either but I think that’s part of the point. None of this has made sense so why should it start now. All I can tell you is what I feel in my heart. When tour ended in the winter, I lost a part of you. I lost the you that was with me all the time. And it wasn’t just like oh I miss my best friend, it was more than that. I missed your smile, your energy, your touch, your noises, all of you. Then I realized other things, little things. I’d go to do something and then suddenly want to talk to you but felt I couldn’t because well why would I call you to tell you one of my shoes ended up in the guest room bathroom. Or that one of my hoodies suddenly smelled like you. It wasn’t things that you would just call and tell someone just because. As time went on, those things stacked up and up. Every time another thing happened it made me think. But I just held it in.”

“Why?”

“Shar, princess. There was no way I could jeopardize your recovery because I thought that I was falling in love with you. You’d worked so hard and come so far just for me to smush that all because of my feelings. You were working on yourself and everything else so there was no way to tell you something like that. For all I knew that could have sent you back to square one. Hell I gave you a panic attack just now.”

“What changed?”

“Your mom.”

“Mom? Woo, what did she do?”

“She said she could see it. And feel it. And that it wasn’t my place to judge if you were ready or not especially if you had no idea what was going on in my head. Which after I thought about it, she’s right. Me taking away the power for you to chose is just as bad as Paul was for forcing you to do things.”

“No, it’s not. You were protecting me.”

“But how much is too much?” Val asked moving to look out the window.

“I….I don’t know.” Sharna said watching his body from her seat.

“Me either. But that’s why I figured I needed to tell you. We’ve done all this together, this needs to be together too. Either way, no matter what, I’m not leaving you. I will love you always and I will prove that to you over and over again each and everyday. Because if anything, I want you to know that someone is out there to show you the love you deserve.”

“What if…..” She started but he cut her off. Something he tried very hard to not do.

“I don’t want an answer now. I don’t even want you to think I want anything from you. I just wanted you to know. I actually think I needed you to know. So whenever you’re ready just remember, I’m here. And I would be honored to have that oppurtunity with you because I do love you Sharna May. I do.”

She didn’t say anything for awhile and he figured he had given her more than enough information and things to think about. He went over to hug her figuring he needed to leave her be for awhile.

“I’m going to head out. I know that was a lot. I did want to say goodnight though.” He said kneeling in front of her and opening his arms. She moved into them quickly allowing him to grasp her body.

“Don’t go.” She whispered into his neck.

“Excuse me?” He said pulling back slightly to look at her.

“I just. Stay. It’s silly as all hell because you’ve made my head spin. However I sleep best when you’re around especially when my head is going a million miles an hour so if it’s alright can you please stay?”

“With you or just here?”

“Umm…with me?” She said sheepishly looking slightly thrown off that she was even asking.

“I can do that princess, come on.” He said pulling her up with him. He led them upstairs and they both got ready for bed before they curled up together in their usual position. Him on his back with her tucked into his side.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“For making your head spin.” He teased gently.

“No for just…well being my Val.”

“Thank you then, for being my princess.” He said pulling her into him closer before resting his head on hers. Neither of them fell asleep for quite sometime as they both had a lot of thinking to do however, they both were definitely calmer having the other around. There would be lots of discussions in the upcoming days however they’d do it the same as they had done all of it, together.

**That’s a wrap on this one. I hope you guys enjoyed! Don’t forget to like it up, comment, tell me you love it, hate it, whatever, ya know? Feedback is amazing. Hope you are all having a great new year. Ps. Part 2 will hopefully be up in the next week! Love you! xoxox