#so he then does everything in his power to repay all that harm caused by it

[wovenstarlight]

I got an interesting anonymous ask on the SFS Tumblr asking about the reasoning behind a bunch of Yoohyun's decisions that had… less-than-stellar outcomes, let's say? (LMAO.) and I'd like to keep the TL blog clean so I'm answering Anon here. I'm gonna post their ask in full for reference, because the answers to each individual question overlap:

Hi, thank you very much for your time, energy and effort. What you are doing is really amazing and admirable. I know you are busy enough and I shouldn't trouble you, but after reading the manhwa, I had questions about Yoohyun's logic and sentiment, and I became more confused after reading the novel and I don't know who to ask. Please ignore my message if it's to much trouble. 1: Why doesn't Yoohyun spend the last years of his life on earth peacefully with Yoojin, even though he knows that the world will end soon? 2: What did Yoohyun accomplish by leaving and humiliating Yoojin that he was persistent to do it for so many years? 3: Why instead of using his forces and technologies to protect Yoojin, he announces to the world that it is open season on him and he is worthless? (Normaly no one dares to harm the family of an S class but Yoohyun expose Yoojin to danger by abandoning him.) 4: Why does Yoohyun stop protecting Yoojin when the most dangerous part of Yoojin's life as an F class hunter begins? (Using his influence he could easily ban Yoojin from entering dungeons. Or he could have secretly formed a group of the most powerful hunters to go with Yoojin to dungeons. This way he could have provided him with everything he needed and keep him safe. That is, if he had any intention of protecting him.) 5: Why would Yoohyun gain all that resources, power, wealth and connections and he sit around and does nothing so that Yoojin would face death every day and rot in the basement? He gain all that for what, if not for protecting Yoojin? 6: Why doesn't he ever change his procedure or provide new options for Yoojin to stop going to dungeons? (Yoojin has no chance for a peaceful life due to not having a degree and being a notorious person. And he doesn't know about that cult.) Yoojin got to see his 30 years old birthday cause the cult didn't feel like killing him and he took care of himself in dungeons and was lucky that only his legs broke. So why would Yoohyun identify as a doting brother? The more I think about it the less I understand.

(crossposted on AO3, if you'd prefer to read there)

Okay, so, I'm really prone to rambling at length and this is a subject I have strong feelings on, so I'll give you a very short version of my answer in bullet points, and then a longer version with proper chapter-specific references and full explanations of what I think was going on.

Yoohyun wants to repay Yoojin for all the care and love he's given him, but as a 17-year-old, he doesn't have much social power

Yoohyun's Awakening puts himself and anyone he loves (i.e. Yoojin) in a dangerous position, because while he has individual physical power as an S-rank, he still lacks social power and also can't singlehandedly protect Yoojin 24/7

Yoohyun, in all his rash 17-year-old glory, takes the drastic action of cutting off Yoojin, planning to build up enough power to protect Yoojin and then reunite with him. Yoojin, as just your ordinary everyday 22-year-old, faces no risks other than people targeting him in order to hurt Yoohyun (I don't agree that no one would dare to harm the family of an S-rank, for reasons I'll elaborate on later in the long answer), so if Yoohyun's not close to Yoojin, then that cuts it down to "no risks at all", right…? So tell the media, tell the world, that no, Han Yoohyun doesn't give a shit about Han Yoojin. Yoohyun assumes he'll be able to explain it all to Yoojin one day and that he'll understand. (This should answer your Question 2 and Q3.)

But it doesn't work out as expected. Yoohyun thought it'd take much less time to establish his position than it does in reality (the assumed 4-ish years ended up as 6+ years). Also, Yoojin's gone from trying to make up with Yoohyun in a way that'll let them be together again (not going to happen, because Yoohyun's still not ready to bring Yoojin back into the fold) to being in his own terrible situation, so he's started lashing out at Yoohyun. So even if Yoohyun was in a stable enough situation to try reconciling with him, Yoojin might not be open to it by this point

Somewhere along the way, Yoohyun learns from the filial duty addict Diarma the world is going to end. He doesn't drop everything and go to live with Yoojin because even now, there's still the concern that maybe Yoohyun won't be able to protect Yoojin from everything, and maybe Yoojin doesn't want Yoohyun around, anyway. There's no use in going to live with Yoojin if it'll just end up getting Yoojin killed through Yoohyun's inaction (Q1).

So Yoohyun keeps maintaining his guild and his power so he can keep protecting Yoojin from what he thinks are the Real Threats. (Because the worlds of low- and high-rank Hunters are VERY different. Yoohyun probably assumes that because Yoojin's not facing the high-rank Hunter dangers, he's facing no dangers—a stupid but understandable mistake, given that Yoojin also assumed the exact same thing in reverse about Yoohyun! It sucks, it really does, but I really do think Yoohyun just… didn't realize just how bad it was.) (Q5) And the world can end whenever it wants; if there's no challenging it, then at least Yoohyun's kept Yoojin safe in the meantime.

And the one danger they have in common, dungeons—you suggest Yoohyun banning Yoojin from entering any, but Yoohyun's cut himself off from Yoojin entirely, remember. Trying to interfere in his life would be met with (a) STRONG rejection by a deeply hurt Yoojin who doesn't understand why Yoohyun thinks he has any say in Yoojin's life anymore, and (b) interest by Yoohyun's rivals, who'd wonder why he's trying to keep his hyung away from dangers when he says he doesn't care about that hyung's wellbeing, putting Yoojin right back in their crosshairs. (Q4)

Also, the immoral people have been killing Caregivers of S-ranks. Diarma might have told Yoohyun about this. If he did, then Yoohyun's goals would definitely have gone from "stay strong and one day reconcile with hyung" to "NEVER get close to hyung, because there are beings outside this world, much more powerful than anything I can match in a reasonable timespan, who will 100% kill him". At which point, even if Yoohyun had wanted to reconcile with him, or compromise by just adjusting his plan and talking to Yoojin a little more, or literally anything past making a show of total and complete indifference, he couldn't have without knowingly risking Yoojin's life. (Q6)

You and I and all the other S-Ranks readers, removed from this situation as we are, can think of half a dozen ways Yoohyun could probably have gotten around things. But the simple fact is that in that situation, under that much pressure, with that much emotional attachment to his brother and literally everything that mattered to him at stake if he fucked up in the tiniest of ways—forget making perfect decisions, there was absolutely no way Yoohyun was going to do anything other than what seemed least risky. Because to do otherwise would be risking Yoojin’s life and therefore his own. And the choices you’ve already mades, the path you’re already on—no matter how bad it is for you, no matter how bad it is for the people you love, no matter how much it hurts—will always, always be less risky than the unknown path, because at least this way, you know what dangers to expect and brace for. At the core of the matter, it’s just that… the path that was best for Yoojin's happiness wasn't the path that was best for Yoojin's life expectancy, you see? And Yoojin can't be happy if he's dead. Yoohyun can't be alive if Yoojin's dead. That's all it came down to.

……oh my god that was so long actually. And that was supposed to be the TL;DR. The long version is going to be SO long. I hope you like reading 50-page passionate essays. There's a poll at the end, you can look forward to that!!!

(Also, okay, before we jump into the Deep End. Two disclaimers.

Anon, you said you read the manhwa and novel, but I read only the novel, so some of my chapter references might be unfamiliar. I know they shuffled events around a little in the webtoon, too, so I'll try and describe the general events so you can find any webtoon parallels.

Yoojin's a REALLY unreliable narrator and definitely doesn't know a lot of what Yoohyun's gone through. Part of that is because there's things he has no way to pick up on or deduce; part of that is because he wants to not think about Yoohyun going through bad shit; part of that is because Yoohyun doesn't want Yoojin worrying about him and has actively hidden the worse parts of his life from him. So a fair part of what I'm talking about is going to be reading between the lines and extrapolating.

Okay, disclaimers done!) Now on to the long version with references. Let's go point-by-point based on the TL;DR.

#1: Yoohyun wanting to repay Yoojin

I mean, the skill's called Last/Final Repayment! Isn't that enough? Where did you think that came from? There certainly wasn't anything Yoojin wanted to repay Yoohyun for.

Okay, no, more seriously. Yoohyun and Yoojin have grown up with only each other to depend on. Yoohyun has watched Yoojin take care of him alone their whole lives, with no outside support, keeping a roof over their head and their stomachs filled. For Yoohyun's sake, Yoojin has given up:

A complete education, with Yoojin having "dropped out of school to take care of his little brother", as mentioned in chapter 1.

A proper social life. In chapter 25, Yoojin says his friends in his early 20s were "middle-aged factory workers" instead of people his own age.

Hobbies. He says to Yerim and Myeongwoo in chapter 45 that one of his "few hobbies" is taking spam calls, but his character profile from the E-books volume 1 confirms it's his only hobby, and one that's now fading… which leaves him with zero personal interests. (The spam calling thing is almost certainly something that sprouted from loneliness in the years that the brothers were separated, by the way. After all, why would Yoojin waste time listening to some stranger on the phone talk to him about something he doesn’t care about? Most likely because there isn’t—wasn’t—really anyone else who’s willing to talk to him, anymore.)

The sole birthday present of "a 10,000 won bill to buy something tasty to have with his friends" he got from their parents, which "would be used for Han Yoohyun’s birthday. As [it was] every year", as mentioned in chapter 239, during Yoohyun’s flashback to childhood.

And Yoohyun, a helpless child, could only watch as Yoojin gave up all of that, to no real benefit of his own, just to focus all his attention and resources on supporting Yoohyun.

By the time he was in middle school, Yoohyun was already talking about becoming a doctor since it'd be "advantageous in a lot of aspects"; he says he "just wanted to make it so you [Yoojin] could live comfortably" (chapter 258). Yoojin wouldn't have to be the sole earner, and would've been able to pursue his own happiness as well as Yoohyun's. Yoohyun wants very badly for Yoojin to not have to worry about him anymore. It makes sense that that sentiment would remain even after he Awakened.

#2: Yoohyun's Awakening

And boy what an Awakening it was! Straight from a random orphaned kid with zero social life and decent grades to one of the world's most desirable and dangerous individuals, basically overnight. He has none of the social sway that the rich and well-connected Sung Hyunjae or the professional athletes Moon Hyuna and Choi Sukwon do, and he refuses to get the help of big corporations like Choi Sukwon and Bak Mingyu (and Yoon Kyeongsoo? I forget if Soodam was also a corp-backed guild). So he's got no power, but he's also declared his intent to create a guild, and that combined with his nature as a born S-rank makes people perceive him as a threat. Maybe not so much in the early days, when people think he's just an arrogant, stupid kid who's going to crash and burn, but definitely more so as time passed, which Sung Hyunjae confirms in chapter 152:

“Wasn’t [Han Yoohyun] at the age where one faces a lot of problems, starting out living alone?” […] “He wasn’t even alone, strictly speaking. I heard Team Head Seok and the others joined Haeyeon early on.” I heard that Seok Simyeong had visited Yoohyun-ie even before Haeyeon was founded. He was still annoying, but I had to give him his share of the credit for Haeyeon. Sung Hyunjae gave a small nod at my words. “Even so, it isn’t easy for a latecomer to find his place.” “That’s… You’re right.” “For the first year or so, it was easier. Since most of them said Haeyeon wouldn’t be able to properly establish itself.” Sung Hyunjae also said he hadn’t been interested in Haeyeon—in Yoohyun-ie—at the time, either. “The problem arose when it started to become a major guild.”

The second the initial "LOL, this has got to be a joke, right?" blinders come off, he's at risk. And he would've known that this would happen right from the start—Yoohyun's smart enough that he would've understood the lack of attacks was just because they didn't see him as a real threat yet.

So, again: a latecomer on the scene with no power and no experience to his name, and seen as a threat to deal with. No social connections means he has no one to rely on to help him with Yoojin's protection: it's up to him alone. And even S-ranks have to eat and sleep and use the bathroom and do half a dozen other things that would pull him away from Yoojin's side, not to mention the all-important requirement of raiding dungeons, which Yoohyun himself admits in chapter 71 was one of his main concerns:

“Once I start a raid on an S-rank dungeon, I’ll be gone for a week […]. Me… avoiding you… was also largely due to the S-rank dungeon raid time. Since, obviously, I can’t look after you once I go into the dungeon.”

So Yoohyun himself can't just stay by Yoojin's side as his bodyguard 24/7. He'd have to leave him unattended for, at minimum, whole weeks. Which means he doesn't have a reliable, sure way to keep his hyung safe.

#3: Cutting off Yoojin, and the risks to an S-rank's family

And that's not even mentioning his own safety. What happens when Yoohyun's hurt and can't help with guarding Yoojin? And he will be hurt, either by dungeon raids or other people. If you don't think that second one is a concern, as early as chapter 6, when Yoojin and Yoohyun are having their first meal together, Yoojin asks about Yoohyun's ability to cook, and he says he taught himself:

“I’ve got items for detoxification and de-cursing, now, but I didn’t have them before. So making my own food felt safer. Even now, when I enter dungeons, I bring dried rations I made myself. Since it’s most dangerous inside dungeons.” “…Detoxification? De-cursing?” What was I hearing right now? As in, there were bastards who’d poison and curse his food, so he had to make it himself… that sort of thing?

Yoohyun himself, a strong, healthy S-rank with a good constitution and one hell of a temper, was at risk of being poisoned and cursed through something as everyday as food. You said that normally, no one would dare attack the family of an S-rank—but if people are willing to attack the S-rank himself, knowing that he'll kill them for sure if it fails and he learns they're behind it, then what's stopping them from attacking the S-rank's family?

There's two points you could argue:

Yoohyun says in the chapter 6 conversation that "It’s a major crime for an Awakened person to target an Unawakened person, so I made them think it wasn’t worth it to risk going after you." But that'd only last for the 3 years up until Yoojin Awakened, and honestly, there's a real risk that anyone targeting Yoojin before that time would just be rich or socially connected enough that they could make the charges go away.

The other argument that if they attack an S-rank's beloved family and that fails, now the S-rank is coming after them with a vengeance, and he's not even suffering from the aftermath of poisoning or a curse to weaken him in the slightest, so that might scare them off. But, like… people do stupid things when they're desperate. In that kidnapping where Yoojin met the Krecke Blackie (chapters 46–49), sure, Yoojin had his own special skills that made him valuable, but he also had five major guilds and the Association all dedicated to his protection. That's several times the protection a single S-rank could offer, and some idiots who weren't even in a desperate situation still tried to go after him for benefits similar to what you'd get from having leverage over an S-rank. So I really don't think anything would stop people from threatening Yoojin. If anything, the combined facts of Yoohyun starting out from a weak position, Yoohyun obviously caring about Yoojin, and Yoojin being so much weaker than Yoohyun would make that the best option by far, if you wanted to hurt Yoohyun. After all, it’s not like Unawakened F-rank Yoojin can fight back himself, and again, Yoohyun isn’t going to fight you if it would risk Yoojin’s life.

So, Yoohyun goes "if I distance myself from hyung and make people think it WON'T hurt me for him to be hurt, then people have no reason to target him!" and follows through. I do think this was a stupid move on his part, even if he intended to explain it all to Yoojin eventually, because by not letting him in on the secret right from the start, he guaranteed that Yoojin would be hurt and upset by his sole remaining family member seemingly abandoning him for better prospects. Which leads Yoojin to start making his own stupid moves, which snowballs into a series of bad decisions on both their parts, and so on… but we'll get to that in a minute. The problem, I think, is that this plan could've worked, if only Yoohyun had told Yoojin at the start, so that Yoojin knew not to draw attention to himself. Maybe they could've done regular calls on burner phones or something, to stay in touch, and they'd have been happier that way.

Unfortunately that didn't happen. Why? Because, as Yoohyun states in that same conversation in chapter 6, he "didn’t want to burden" Yoojin. Yoohyun's desire to protect Yoojin is not just physical, but also mental/emotional—he doesn't want Yoojin to know that Yoohyun's going through all this trouble of leaving home and dealing with threats to his life and making big decisions, because he doesn't want Yoojin to worry.

[EDIT: And actually, thinking back over this, do you realize—Yoojin always talks about how Yoohyun was a delight of a child to raise, never complaining, never throwing tantrums, wonderfully behaved and always doing as he was told. Enough so that Moon Hyuna has to tell him, explicitly, in Chapter 43, that that’s not normal, in those exact words:

“He was a good younger brother who never needed to be scolded. Ever since he was little, he listened well and didn’t worry me…….” “You said you were the one to raise him, right? After you lost your parents early. That’s not normal.” She clicked her tongue and continued. “A good, obedient little brother from a poor family without parents. That sort of thing doesn’t even appear in children’s fairy tales these days. Because it’s not realistic.” “I mean, to go that far—” “Kids are kids. They get frustrated and angry if there’s something lacking, they make trouble to get attention, they compare themselves with others, and beyond begging their parents to buy them something they want, they might even resent them. Parents might still think their kids are cute, but brothers? To them, they’re just enemy bastards; I also have a younger sibling, so I know. Of course, there are brothers and sisters who get along. In peaceful households where their parents take good care of them. Even then, it’s not like they never fight. Younger brothers in particular are a type that need to be put in their place; older siblings the world across would probably agree.”

This suggests that Yoohyun and Yoojin have never, ever, EVER experienced conflict on major life decisions. Not once have they argued about Yoohyun making choices that Yoojin wouldn’t like. Which means Yoohyun approached cutting off Yoojin with a very particular mindset, and I have some guesses as to what exactly that mindset was. Do you think he hoped Yoojin would understand that his perennially well-behaved brother would have some reason for leaving home? Do you think he just… didn’t know how to approach telling Yoojin about his choice, knowing it’d upset him so much, so he simply didn’t and hoped for the best? Or was it something else entirely?

Either way: Yoohyun absolutely did not know what would come of this choice. He definitely did not expect just how hard it would be on Yoojin. At the time, he was probably just wanting to spare Yoojin the heartache of their first major argument about Yoohyun’s life choices.] And it's that very desire to not bother him with the knowledge of how much Yoohyun's suffering that eventually makes things go wrong and both of them suffer for it.

#4: Yoohyun's strategy failing

What do we know about Yoohyun's plan going wrong? We know that Yoohyun intended to wipe out his enemies before even thinking about allowing Yoojin into danger. In that conversation in chapter 6, he tells Yoojin to wait "just 1 year" and to basically live in confinement, locked up safe inside Haeyeon, until Yoohyun's done. Combined with the 3 years since the dungeons appearing and Yoohyun Awakening, that means he thought it'd take maybe 4 years in total, with hurrying at the end to accommodate Yoojin already being involved with him again. Yoojin says in narration that pre-regression, it took him 3 years instead of the 1 he's proposing, which puts us at a total of 6 years minimum before Yoohyun could even think about reuniting with Yoojin.

But, of course, a lot can and did happen in those 6 years. Within the first 3, the brothers' relationship had deteriorated enough that Yoojin blocked Yoohyun's number, as mentioned in chapter 32 by Yoohyun to Yoojin during novice Hunter training:

“You got angry and told me not to call, remember? You even blocked my number.”

Why was Yoojin angry? See chapter 158, when Yoohyun was temporarily amnesiac due to Jellyfish's fog:

“I’m certain I told you not to come near me.” …I remembered. When I’d heard that, I’d blocked Yoohyun’s number, telling him not to call me back.

Yoohyun's repeated refusal to tell Yoojin about his plans, just telling him they had to stay apart, only worsened their relationship. And while Yoohyun did attempt to reach out and help Yoojin in ways such as sending him money to cover living expenses (probably hoping to repair their rapidly deteriorating relationship), that also made it worse, with Yoojin rejecting all of those attempts. As he explains in chapter 274, during the flashbacks induced by Jellyfish in their fight:

Gritting my teeth, I sent back the money Yoohyun-ie sent me without even laying a finger on it. To the me of that time, it was horrible money that my young brother had as good as traded his life for. Yoohyun-ie wanted me to accept living expenses and stay safe, but I believed my brother was being sent to his own death and could never accept it.

It isn't like Yoohyun didn't try to reach out. He did. The problem was that all of his attempts were undercut by his continued refusal to tell Yoojin why he had distanced himself, such that all those attempts at staying in touch only rubbed salt in the wound of being abandoned. And as early as 3 years in, by his own admission in chapter 6, Yoohyun starts to think that things have gotten so bad that even if he tries to confess everything now, Yoojin might not "be understanding". He might not be willing to let go of his hurt and resentment to reconcile with him.

So should he stop reaching out, then? Surely there's still hope that they can reconcile in the future. Someday, maybe, when Yoohyun's sure he can protect Yoojin, even if Yoojin doesn't want to be with/near him.

#5: Learning about the world ending

Only, there's a deadline imposed by the end of the world, which Yoohyun learns about from filial duty addict Diarma. Part of the contract with the filial duty addicts, as Sung Hyunjae explains in chapter 102, is not interfering with said end of the world. Actually, the contractors have to give "their word that they’ll eliminate obstacles" i.e. other people fighting against the end of the world, so Yoohyun can't do anything about this deadline. This gives him a limited amount of time in which he can "eventually" reconcile with Yoojin.

So, as you ask, Anon, why not spend that limited time with his brother? Well, just because there's an end of the world approaching—which Yoohyun can't even talk about! L-rank contract, remember—doesn't mean that Yoojin is 🌟magically🌟 going to get any less mad about Yoohyun abandoning him for several years than before. Yoohyun still doesn't want to explain, so that argument is absolutely not getting resolved.

Even if he tries to explain vaguely that there's some threat and that he'd like Yoojin to live with him or at least accept his offers of protection and security, what happens if Yoojin refuses? Yoohyun clearly isn't willing to violate Yoojin's desires too far, since the most certain way to keep him safe would be to lock him up in a vault somewhere inside Haeyeon and never let anyone else see him, but that would trample all over his free will and happiness, not to mention it'd ruin Yoohyun's "live normally and happily with hyung" goals. So he'll have to let Yoojin stay out in the world, while all of Yoohyun's rivals and enemies are still out there, watching the Haeyeon Guild Leader reach out to his brother and wondering if they've reconciled. At that point, it doesn't matter if they actually have made up or not. If someone even suspects that Yoojin is close to Yoohyun, then they'll target him on the off-chance that it's true. And if Yoojin did refuse Yoohyun's offers, which he's almost certain to, then he's defenseless against whatever attacks come. And they will come. In chapter 6, Yoohyun admitted that a single visit to Haeyeon Guild by Yoojin, willing or unwilling, would be enough to get attention on him:

“But if I directly give orders for you to be brought in and allowed to live within Haeyeon Guild, my enemies will start to actively target you. Even with you just being here right now, I’m sure they’ll already have started keeping an eye on you.”

Think of it from Yoohyun's enemies' perspective. If Yoohyun cares about Yoojin, attacking Yoojin gives you leverage over Yoohyun. If Yoohyun doesn't care about Yoojin, then he won't care if you're attacking Yoojin, so you'll face no retaliation from him. Yoohyun's enemies have nothing to lose from this, while Yoohyun has everything to lose. So, in this situation, it'd be better to take the least risky path: just don't engage with Yoojin at all.

And, also, even if he'd decided to take that risk, there's a different one when it comes to actually figuring out a system to guard Yoojin. This point is more speculation, but I do think Yoohyun might have struggled with deciding when he'd done enough for Yoojin's protection. Because the reality is that Yoojin was never, ever going to be 100% safe from all dangers ever. Again, the vault method is the only way Yoohyun could achieve that. Yoohyun could've put together any amount of high-rank Hunters as Yoojin's exclusive security detail, and he'd still have to leave him alone with these potentially corruptible strangers for a full week at a time during every S-rank dungeon raid. I suspect there was a real risk of Yoohyun continuously going "I just need to get a bit stronger and a bit more established" indefinitely, without ever reaching a point where he was actually satisfied. (Which, if this was indeed a risk in canon, would be overridden in the post-regression timeline by Yoojin's keyword usage making Yoohyun's desire to live with him again and uncertainty about Yoojin's response win out over the urge to keep obsessing over safeguards.)

#6: What counts as a "real" threat

When it comes to Yoohyun's need to defend Yoojin against threats, there's also an important aspect you need to consider, which is: what threats? You see, the worlds of low-rank and high-rank Hunters are very different, to the point where Yoohyun seems to completely overlook some aspects of what Yoojin's used to dealing with, while Yoojin explicitly notes on multiple occasions that he didn't even realize Yoohyun faced certain dangers. As always, we come back to the poisoning attempts mentioned in chapter 6, the first time Yoojin realizes Yoohyun was suffering his own ordeals. This sort of sneaky threat gets reiterated in chapter 11, after Yoojin's trip to the Hunter Mall, when Yoohyun tells him he can't even take a simple drink from any public vendor because it might be poisoned (not something that'd work on Yoohyun himself, but it certainly would on those lower-ranked people around him who he cares about). No, not even in a government-sponsored location like the Association, because even these locations are filled with other guilds' spies and informants. Yoojin's internal response is essentially "what sort of underhanded bullshit is this", and out loud he questions Yoohyun about it:

“But would they do that sort of thing in none other than the Association? If they get caught, the backlash will be huge.” And if Awakened people couldn’t trust the Association, it’d end up hurting the guilds, too. “Of course they wouldn’t make trouble inside the Association. But it’s possible to have their target sent away in an ambulance or police car.” “…And then that ambulance or police car goes missing?” “You’re getting it.”

And Yoojin literally thinks, not a paragraph later, that this is maybe too much even for him:

Somehow, the further things went, the more I felt like I should stop being involved with this brat Yoohyun-ie and go off to live on my own.

Better the dangers you know than the ones you don't, but in Yoojin's words.

Everyone in the high-rank sphere is, well, high-rank. Strong and resilient even when they don't have defensive skills, to say nothing of when they do. They face threats, yes, Real Threats that pose danger to them and risk their safety and status, including threats from other people—Song Taewon mentions to Yoojin in chapter 83 that he's investigated Yoohyun for murder multiple times a year—but because they're so strong, those threats come in the form of dungeon monsters or social attacks, not actual physical harm. Especially not physical harm from other people; like, chapter 75 mentions there's laws against S-rank Hunters going into dungeons together for fear that they might hurt or kill each other, so unless they encounter each other in a dungeon break region where combat is expected (or pick fights with Chief Song, an S-rank duty-bound to fight other S-ranks), they're never really going to encounter personal threats from other Hunters.

Take all that through the lens of protecting Yoojin: he's just some guy, he's not involved in the social/political Hunter Hunger Games, so he's probably fine on that front, right? And otherwise, Yoohyun just needs to protect him from dungeons (keep Yoojin out of them when possible, prevent breaks in his area), and maybe just some general watching out for Yoojin getting himself into anything risky, since he's so weak as an F-rank. That's all the threats Yoohyun sees on a daily basis, so that's probably it, right?

Wrong. Low-rank Hunters have their own set of threats they face, and while a part of that is dungeons and monsters, a very large part of that is also just… being easy to kill, in a community of people very ready to kill. Low-rank Hunters murder each other a hell of a lot more than high-rank Hunters get to even hurt, let alone kill, each other. Think about how easily the knowledge of dungeons being good body disposal spots comes to Yoojin (chapter 19, when threatening Yerim's uncle). Think about the way Yoojin talks about being pressured into slave contracts and miner guilds, and how common it seems to be for low-rank Hunters to be maimed and disabled and left in the lurch (chapters 21 and 22, saving Yoo Myeongwoo from Hope Resources Guild). Think about chapter 49, where Yoohyun claims there's strong camaraderie among high-rank Hunters, and Yoojin responds with this:

Comradeship, huh. There was no such concept in low-rank Hunter teams. Of course, it wasn’t like there were no good people around. The problem was that they all died before long. There were fixed low-rank teams united through trust and friendship, but it was very rare that they lasted. With how strongly they banded together, if one of them died, they couldn’t endure the shock and would fall apart; and even if that didn’t happen, if they were doing well for themselves, they’d be attacked from the outside by the many Hunters who’d find them unpleasant. But a high-rank dungeon raiding team that suffered few such accidents could form a sense of comradeship and keep staying together.

Low-rank Hunters will get killed by monsters, or survive only to get killed by the loss of their teams, or find good teams only to get killed by other jealous low-ranks, or (in Yoojin's experience) survive multiple team-wide killings only to get ostracized and distrusted for being suspiciously good at surviving (almost like you're the one setting up your teams to fail! really makes you wonder, doesn't it?), or, or, or…

High-rank Hunters just… survive. That's it.

Of course Yoohyun wouldn't know to protect Yoojin from these threats. He's never faced them. To him, fighting other people is a fun, challenging pastime, where no one being allowed to kill each other is an unspoken rule that goes implicitly understood. He wouldn't realize how it was very much not fun for Yoojin; maybe he'd know it intellectually, but I don't think he'd understand, not without getting up close and personal to see Yoojin struggle with it, which he can't do himself. If he tries to send someone to spy on or just generally help out his brother, Yoojin's primed by his experiences to distrust the people around him, so spies won't get anything out of him, and any strong Hunter handpicked by Yoohyun to help his hyung might simply be unable to gain Yoojin's trust. (Picking out a whole team of strong Hunters? Even if Yoojin trusts them, they'd probably end up victimized by jealous Hunters. Rinse and repeat.) You must also take into account that Yoojin's been made enough of a target by society that he's hiding every weakness someone could potentially exploit. Hell, if he's hiding well enough, you might think he's doing just fine.

And in the time period where it would be blatantly obvious that Yoojin was not fine, that early period right when he Awakened and turned into society's scapegoat overnight? That was when Yoohyun and Haeyeon were also being targeted, and wouldn't have been able to spare the kind of attention and help Yoojin would've needed, not with all the scrutiny they were all being subjected to. Actually, when Yoojin's reminiscing about these times in chapter 59, he hypothesizes it might've been Yoohyun's rivals themselves who were behind the scapegoating:

At that time, it would’ve been hard for that guy to look out for me. Public opinion wasn’t good in many ways, and there were too many scrutinizing eyes for him to secretly look after me. Now that I thought about it, I wondered if there wasn’t some sort of operation targeting me. The response was too excessive to have simply been the work of a few trash journalists. It was a matter that could be packaged excitingly, I was an F-rank which made me easy to use, and at that time, it could drag down Haeyeon Guild in the public opinion. Whether it was the government, the Association, or rival guilds, they’d have been fools not to use me.

If it was Yoohyun's rivals behind it, then by fighting on the Haeyeon front, Yoohyun might actually have been keeping Yoojin safe, too. How do we know he didn't actually mitigate the suffering to some degree? We haven't heard from Yoohyun about his side of things during this time, so we don't have a definite answer one way or another.

Certainly, Seok Simyeong didn't help at all by making a public statement denouncing Yoojin, especially not when it was so bad Yoojin admits to almost being suicidal over it (chapter 19)! But, well, it was a busy time. We don't know whether Yoohyun was consulted on that one, or if it was something they rushed in order to get ahead of the situation. It might also be that Yoohyun was consulted and made the choice that they'd publicly denounce Yoojin but privately offer him support, only for Yoojin to reject it as he did before with the money Yoohyun sent. Yoojin's done this before, where he conveniently doesn't mention a detail about a scenario until it becomes immediately relevant!

I cannot emphasize enough that we don't have Yoohyun's perspective on this. We don't know what he was doing or not doing to help. But we know, from his love for Yoojin, from his desperate desire to keep him safe at all costs, that he must've been doing something. Was that something effective? Was it useful to Yoojin's immediate life? Who knows. But he was trying.

#7: Banning Yoojin from dungeons

…Keyword being trying. Because, uh. To be honest, how well do you think any direct attempts at "helping" went over? The very first moment that Yoojin regresses to is when Yoohyun got him out of a meeting with an Awakening broker. And Yoojin himself says that ended so badly that "after listening to Yoohyun-ie’s nagging, I’d become furious and stormed off, shouting that I could take care of myself and to quit bothering me" (chapter 5). So if Yoohyun tries to openly keep Yoojin out of danger, then Yoojin is going to have a screaming fit of anger at his life being controlled by someone who apparently isn't even interested in being in it.

And that's before Yoojin Awakened. Once he had an actual, legal, government-assigned license saying he could go into dungeons? Yoohyun had zero standing. Zero chance he was ever going to be able to stop him from going into dungeons, short of breaking down and crying and begging for him to not do it, which (to successfully convince Yoojin he wasn't just putting on a show or trying to guilt trip him) would also require Yoohyun to admit he still cared about Yoojin and reveal his 3- uh, 4- I mean, 5- 6(!!)-Year Master Plan To Keeping Hyung Safe Forever And Ever.

Yeah. Never gonna happen.

And even that one (1) attempt at keeping Yoojin away from dungeons and Hunters and everything related could've gone really badly, because as Yoohyun himself admits in their chapter 6 conversation, his enemies will "already have started keeping an eye on you [Yoojin]". Just from one single show of apparent concern for Yoojin's wellbeing! Can you imagine what would've happened if Yoohyun kept stopping Yoojin every time he tried to go into a dungeon? Setting Yoojin's own frustration and anger aside, can you picture the kind of attention that would've gotten Yoojin? No, this was one battle Yoohyun had to lose in order to win the overall war.

Anon, you mention providing "new options for Yoojin to stop going to dungeons". Okay, sure, we're starting with Yoojin being society's black sheep and probably rejected out of hand from most positions he applies to, and Yoohyun's only leverage in society being in dungeon- and Hunter-related fields. What options would he have provided for Yoojin? A dungeon- or Hunter-related job, probably at Haeyeon or one of its affiliates? That's precisely what we're trying to avoid, and also visible enough that Yoohyun might as well not have even fucking bothered with the 6-Year Master Plan etc. etc. Okay, so then something at one of Haeyeon's sponsors-? Except Haeyeon famously doesn't have backers, and any connections they have through business deals will be glaringly obvious to Yoohyun's rivals if leveraged. Oh, Han Yoojin, the man who no one wants to hire, got a job at a company whose products Han Yoohyun sponsored just a while ago! Absolutely no one is wondering how this could've happened. Also, funny how Han Yoohyun's helping Han Yoojin find work, it's almost like he cares about him… (And so the end begins.)

Remember, all of Yoohyun's efforts at separating himself from Yoojin require actually being separate from Yoojin and the choices he makes. Yoojin's life is—unfortunately enough for Yoohyun—his own to live… and his own to ruin.

#8: The transcendent threat

And all of that—every single one of these environmental factors that make it so Yoohyun has a billion and one concerns to consider before he can so much as talk to Yoojin—all of that comes before we take into account one more fact:

God Hates Caregivers Personally.

Or, in a non-joking manner, and in the fashion Yoohyun might have learned about it from Diarma, as is strongly suggested in the virtual reality dungeon arc during chapter 246:

There are beings out there, outside your world, stronger than anything you know, and this is acknowledging the fact that you are among the strongest existences humankind will ever produce. These beings rule your entire world, are the children of the very power that created the dungeons terrorizing your planet, are themselves so powerful that they can predict dungeons and manipulate the system in their favor, that they can manipulate the circumstances of individual humans as long as they're inside dungeons. In allying with any one of their number, you make an enemy out of half of the entire population of these transcendental existences. You have already made an enemy of them. And these people, these all-powerful creatures, who you've painted yourself a rival of? These same people have a known track record of killing the loved ones of people like you.

Your brother goes into dungeons every week as part of his job. He's already at immense risk. If you go near him, if you make it seem even slightly like you're interested in him personally, you make him an out-and-out target for these transcendents, and they'll smite him. He dies, and you die, and it's game over.

Option one: You can grow to their level, meet them with equal strength, certainly, but will you get the time to grow that far before they kill your brother? Is his natural lifespan even long enough that he'd survive the time it took for your growth? He dies. You die. Game over.

Option two: Don't pose a threat. It's too late for you to never get on their radar in the first place, but if you can keep from seeming any more dangerous, maybe they won't give him any attention. Secure a favor that will let you help him when he needs it, at most, but otherwise never use your transcendent connections to your own advantage.

Option two, taken to its conclusion: If you die before your brother does—if you die calling in that favor and saving his life—you never have to see him be killed.

(Option two, on the flip side: You will not expect it to be your own ally who set the stage for your loved one to be killed.)

So, basically, every single concern Yoohyun's had about protecting his brother that made him distance himself and not tell him anything so far? All of that is taken and cranked up to difficulty level Maximum. "If I show interest in hyung, one of my rivals or enemies might choose to hurt or kill him!" The transcendents WILL kill him with NO known incentive. Yoohyun might assume it's because he poses a threat to their side, but he can't be absolutely certain that's it. In fact, he doesn't know anything about this opposing transcendent faction, since he was blocked from contacting them by the very fact of having chosen a side in the first place, as Water Droplet explains when discussing the born S-ranks in chapter 106:

“We don’t know for sure either. The filial duty addicts contacted them first, so their information is obscured. We only know that there are five, and about the ones that are in contact with you.”

And while Yoohyun-as-Alpha knows the reasons behind the immoral people killing Caregivers—namely, that they want to remove distractions for S-ranks, so that they focus on combating dungeons and monsters—if Diarma had told Yoohyun about this, and if he'd thought to apply the bare minimum of intelligence to his delivery (a disclaimer that must be made, with this transcendent in particular), I really don't think he would've told him why. No, he would've wanted the immoral people to seem like a dangerous threat, so he would just have said that they might kill Yoohyun's family, without giving him their reasoning.

Which means Yoohyun knew nothing about the immoral people's motives, nothing about their goals, nothing about what they'd see as aggression. Which meant, hypothetically, that any and every action he took could trigger them to smoothly and efficiently eliminate the only person he loved in all the world. It would be so easy, too; Yoojin's entering their turf multiple times a month as part of his daily job, a fact which we've already established Yoohyun couldn't do anything about. The only thing he knew for sure is that they hadn't killed Yoojin so far.

Remember what I said before, about the known path being safer? Because you know the dangers you'll face on it? Yoohyun knows doing what he's doing right now is keeping Yoojin alive. He can't control a single other thing outside of that. And the danger posed by not doing what he's doing just got shifted to a level he is not prepared on any level to respond to. Before, he might've thought Yoojin was safe at least inside dungeons with his chosen teams; from his perspective, "dungeons with only guild members inside are actually safer than the outside world" (chapter 134), while the outside world was more of a risk because of all of Yoohyun's enemies. But now? There is danger all the time and in every location Yoojin goes, even those outside of this world, on an insane, unrivaled level. He is never, never safe, and any single unexpected action Yoohyun takes puts that at risk. If doing anything at all is dangerous, then it's better to do nothing.

So, yeah, that's the crux of it, isn't it. Yoohyun needs to protect Yoojin every day, every single time. Everything else in the whole world only needs to kill Yoojin once. In such a situation, how would Yoohyun ever dare to risk making either of them vulnerable?

…The end! I hope that this explanation, long as it is, has given you at least some additional insight into Why Yoohyun Did All That, and helped serve as a reminder of just how little we actually know about Yoohyun's perspective of the events pre-regression.

By the way, this entire post is pulling only from information we get up to chapter 272; there’s more information revealed up to chapter 350—actually, even just in the next few chapters after that, up to 275—that sheds more light on Yoohyun’s decision-making process in the pre-regression timeline. Maybe I’ll come back and post a part 2 to this analysis someday using the additional information we get as time goes on, but right now, this much will have to be enough.

In any case—thanks for reading this far. And of course, as promised, here's the poll!

[moplayspoke]

IRON FLAME / FOURTH WING MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

You have been warned.

Violet’s Second Signet

I am like 95% certain Violet’s second signet is magic mending.

We know a rider’s first signet represents the core of who a person is whereas a second signet represents a pressing need.

For Xaden, his most pressing need is information.

Violet’s ultimate desire is peace for her loved ones. Tecarus mentions it as well. She shows compassion for everyone including those who she is not on good terms with. When others falter or show fear, she encourages them and defends them.

For Violet, her most pressing need is helping her loved ones. How does she do that? By permanently mending their magic past their current limits so they have the best chance to defend themselves and survive.

Violet mentioned in Fourth Wing that she hated the fact that she was a weapon re her lightning signet (though we all know now her actual signet is power molded as lightning). She hated that she had the potential to harm and cause so much death. Her innate wish was to have a signet that was good for the world, similar to Brennan with mending. (below)

That’s exactly what magic mending would be for her and, like Brennan, and would be the key to everything she needs.

In the end of Iron Flame, Brendan was asked if he could repair the wardstone and his reply was he can mend most things except magic. The fact this was mentioned at all makes it a very real possibility and potential foreshadowing. (below)

And we know there has already been a number of instances of this explaining the sudden improvement of various signet abilities of those near Violet.

She was able to magically enhance Rhiannons powers subconsciously by needing Rhiannon to be able to port the dagger from its sheath on her shoulder, through the wall and into Rhiannon’s hands. (below)

She was able to magically enhance Mira’s shield ability when she needed it most during a venin attack which allowed Mira to shield without the wards and permanently improve her skills (below)

She (potentially) has been mending Tairn’s magic to fly even faster than he has before. This was mentioned a number of times.

She has the potential to mend the corrupted magic in venin and in the earth. You cannot give back magic that was taken, but maybe Violet can.

She may even have the potential to mend the magic within the failing wardstone (a magical item).

That is how she will stop the venin along with her dragon Andarna (whom is the only dragon with fire that can torch them).

That is how she will save the love of her life. She will mend the magic that corrupts Xaden’s soul OR she will mend the earth of the magic stolen from it and thereby repay the soul debt owed of those whom stole from it.

[moontheoretist]

I just realized something about Natasha Romanoff - she should have been a villain.

In the MCU, Natasha makes questionable choices which end in death of a lot of people, but she is still considered a hero. That makes her story as a person very weak, as she keeps making a step forward and two steps backwards all the time in her redemption arc to clear the blood from her ledger, which results in her actually adding more and more blood to it instead. I just saw a TikTok, which explained how to properly make redemption stories for a villain and I cannot shake the feeling that if Natasha was established as a villain in the MCU, the story which she currently has in the MCU universe would then fulfill progression and regression stages in her journey to change, but because she was never seen as a villain by either Nick Fury or the rest of the Avengers, she was always an ally, even when you couldn’t truly trust her. Instead, her story comes off as a story of a failure of a hero who keeps falling along with Steve Rogers and his Team.

Funnily, the same thing happens to Wanda Maximoff who is no longer considered a villain when she joins the good guys and therefore her redemption (or the lack thereof as most of it is off-screen) feels fake, because nobody acknowledges that she is a villain on a journey to be a better person and gives her a pass.

In both of those cases, the main points presented in the TikTok: establishing them as villains and giving them relatable motivation fall flat, because the story is not willing to stick to it and prefers to flip their alignment on the spot to hero with barely any journey to that title shown on the screen. We already meet Natasha as an ally, despite her spying on Tony and being a manipulative little spy on main, as the good guys sadly involve a whole Spy Gov Organization. She is never questioned and always treated like one of them. Always trusted, never second guessed, always reliable and willing to do the job given to her no matter how hard or inhumane (in the meaning: cruel, unfair, appalling, horrifying etc.). She says that she is on a redemption journey, but that journey doesn’t fit the image which was established for her in the story, as she is no longer viewed as a villain who needs to redeem herself and nobody treats her as such.

Wanda on the other hand is shown as a villain and has a relatable motivation established, but has no journey to speak of. Journey is completely omitted, and she is given the status of a hero after literally committing one good deed (saving a Korean train) by Steve, which like I already said in another post was a dangerous choice, because her saving civilians doesn’t mean she stopped hating Avengers and wanting to murder them all anymore. She is given the role of a hero without putting any work to earn it, that’s why it feels fake after what she had done in that very same movie. Saving Sokovians doesn’t count, because she was a nationalist supremacist, of course she would want to save her own people from being killed by Ultron. Destroying Ultron doesn’t count, because she does it to save everybody, not only someone else, which means that she does that to save herself and her people again, plus she takes revenge for Pietro’s death. She doesn’t sacrifice herself doing both of those, so it doesn’t feel like she does something which would impact her negatively but benefit others. As much as I personally don’t like self-sacrificing heroes, because it is a toxic idea to off yourself to save someone else, in her case it would at least mean that she is willing to abandon her own interest in order to save others. Maybe her joining forces with the Avengers to kill Ultron could count as abandoning her self-interest, because it would mean also abandoning revenge for her parents and deciding not to kill Tony Stark in the end (as misguided as it was, she saw it as her business, something very important to do), but it is never actually shown, so it also is debatable. There are no conversations in relation to this in the movie, therefore it does not exist. This lack of proper handling creates this idea that maybe she was never a good guy, maybe she was faking, maybe she is still wanting to kill the Avengers, so I am not surprised that so many people interpret it as such. There is just not enough screen time given to her and any care put into her story, so it comes off as such.

And people wonder why I relate to Tony’s story instead to two slavic women I saw on the screen. If they weren’t so poorly handled, then maybe I would! Instead, I relate more to autistic ADHD Tony Stark whose story actually has hands and legs and makes sense to me. He was given 3 movies of his own, in which he was allowed to change and grow. He was allowed to do mistakes and was not shown as an ideal person, but he was trying with all his might to be better, to repay all the bad his company and his weapons did to innocent people, to somehow redeem the self which was ignorant before, because he hated that he caused so much harm to others.

And he redeems himself so well. He becomes a hero.

He earns the title, even if he doesn’t feel he did.

[dreamkidddream]

Those Doll!anon fics were really amazing! I really wanna do something like it if you don’t mind. Could I maybe get a Yorkie!MC? Like, a really short, really friendly MC until they feel like they or one of the brothers/undateables are being threatened or insulted, then they try to pick a fight they’d obviously lose? I’m just laughing at the mental imagine of this short, unthreatening human yelling at and trying to square up against a demon lol.

Awww tysm!! 💙I missed writing for Obey Me (and we also hit 666 followers at this point 😈💜) and since this was so interesting I decided that I’m gonna do the Undateables first and then do the brothers cause I feel like I don’t show them enough love 😔 reader is gender neutral!

The Undateables with Yorkie!MC

Diavolo

He is LOVING your energy

Your happiness is so contagious, it just adds onto his already cheery demeanor. He honestly feels his cheeks hurting from smiling even more when you’re around (and he doesn’t even care!)

He’s gonna buy Lucifer so much Demonus as a thank you for picking you for the exchange program. Seriously, you’re PERFECT (for him)

As the President of Student Council and future King, he loves seeing you interact with the other students, and he’s glad that they’re reacting positive to you. At least some of them do

Now, no one is to foolish (or powerful) enough to threaten Diavolo or do anything to you that can bring you harm. They can try, but they won’t be getting the results that they hope for

But he can’t help it but find it amusing when you try to “defend his honor” when someone bad mouths him. He makes sure to not let it show (gotta be professional after all) but he does tease you about it later. You’re so small and seeing you just yelling square up to this demon is hilarious. He has no idea what geometry has to do with this, but he’s learned some new slang thanks to you!

He’s finally found someone who’ll go along with his antics and more. Whereas other people may complain about him wanting to do fun activities that seem basic, you just flash a big smile, grab his hand and tell him to lead the way

(You even made matching friendship bracelets and he refuses to take it off, ever)

You really make him happy MC. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s ever felt this lighthearted, and he doesn’t feel the sense of loneliness that he felt himself getting used too

Also Lucifer gets twice the headache now, but the Demonus helps it go away (temporarily)

Barbatos

Ah, so another Luke, except older and that you take your threats of violence very serious, if what he sees (both in the present and the future) holds true (which it does)

You’re still harmless in his eyes though

Your friendly personality makes it easy for you to be forgiven for a lot of things…even if your actions make him give you the side eye at times

Despite how energetic you are (which is something that he’ll never grow tired of) your presence has a relaxing effect on him. Even if he has to warn you sometimes to be careful with the way that you bounce around so much, especially when he’s in the kitchen

He unfortunately can’t be by your side as he is Lord Diavolo’s butler, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t keep watch on you, even without the use of his powers

With how outgoing you are, you’re bound to attract trouble, in which you do at a constant rate. What was comical however, is that it seemed like the trouble you attracted was on his behalf

“MC, what seems to be the issue here?”

“BARB! You won’t believe this! This jerk has the nerve to call you stuck up- well I can show you stuck up! After I stick my foot up your- Huh? Hey, why am I the one being dragged away?! W- count yourself lucky that Barb is saving you right now demon! But this isn’t over- MPH!”

“I hate to spoil you before our tea party, but you were already late and I have been meaning to have you try my new recipe that I’ve been working on…”

You were too busy trying to savor the delicious flavor to focus on what just happen, which was his plan all along. You get to try more of his delicious treats and he gets to enjoy your touch and company. Crisis averted!

He’s crafty enough to have plans to evade you “fighting” and you haven’t caught on yet (or maybe you did and just feign ignorance? Either way works for him)

It doesn’t bother him what people say about him, he doesn’t care in the slightest (and they’re not bold enough to say it to his face). What he cares about is making sure that you keep your carefree energy, and that he keeps to see you with your radiating smile on your face

Simeon

You remind him so much of Luke. Are you sure you’re not from the Celestial Realm too?

Don’t worry he’s only teasing you (kinda) but you do have just as much energy if not MORE than Luke

And you don’t mind helping him either, no matter how “silly” his requests may be

“You’re doing great Si! See, you didn’t even need my help!”

“MC, I couldn’t have gotten to this point without you. My pictures are still coming out a little blurry, but that could be because you wouldn’t stand still- but it does add special kind of charm to them…”

He’s keeping them btw

He was shook when he saw you go off the first time, like he really wasn’t expecting it (Solomon did try to warn him, he was laughing but he did try to warn him)

“Don’t think just because he’s an angel means I’m bout to act like one! I will end you!”

MC please don’t make this demon “catch these hands” violence isn’t necessary

He doesn’t know what that means but he’s scared that he’s gonna find out if he doesn’t hold you back

He has reprimanded you each time when you try to fight others. He knows that demons see him as weak and talk behind his back, but he chooses to ignore them, to turn the other cheek. But just because he does, doesn’t mean that you do, and he sees that now

Simeon really doesn’t want you to fight, and it’s not even because it’s against his nature (it’s part of the reason, just not the whole reason). Fighting leads to injury, and injury leads to distress, and that’s the last thing that he wants to happen to you. And he’s not going to let anything happen to you!

He truly believes it’s a waste of time and energy, and you could find better things to do. For example, by spending time with him!

Simeon may not be your guardian angel officially, but he’s your guardian angel. Always

Has definitely written a character based on you

Luke

Is immediately upset that you don’t stay in Purgatory Hall with him, and even more upset that you don’t live in the Celestial Realm

You’re like the best older sibling he’s never had! And you don’t treat him like a baby either!

Or he’s just admiring you too much to notice

You never hesitate to help him with anything; baking, homework, pretty much anything and everything. He may try to make it seem like you need his assistance, but we all know it’s the other way around (with the exception of Luke himself)

We all know that Luke gets teased by the brothers and even his roommates sometimes (looking at you Solomon), but it’s just harmless teasing (for the most part). It’s when he hears what the other students say about him that gets to him- he tries to show that it doesn’t bother him and he tries to stand up for himself but- their words really hurt him

And no one hurts Luke and gets away with it

You already get onto the brothers for their teasing when it starts to bother him, and now the brothers have to jump in to stop you from trying to rip this demon horns’ off

You can’t really reach them and they’re pretty sure you won’t do any damage, but they rather not take the chance of you getting hurt

It’s not the first or last time that you do this either, and it just makes him feel horrible. He’s the angel here, the one that’s suppose to protect you, not the other way around!

You help him out so much, either without defending him you do so much for him already. How can he ever repay you? He feels like whatever he does won’t be enough…WAIT- he figured out what he can do!

He can get stronger and protect you! He can go to Beel so that you don’t have to fight for him anymore, or maybe have Solomon make some potions that’s like demon repellent but only for those jerks. If those mean demons see how serious and strong he is, then they’re bound to leave you guys alone! Maybe he can show you some tricks too once he’s done. He has to hurry up and tell you the plan then, you guys can’t wait any longer!

Their words do hurt, but so does seeing you putting yourself in harms way to protect him. You can’t do all the protecting MC, he needs to watch out for you too, no if ands or buts about it!

You and Luke are the duo we never knew we needed

Solomon

Ah, it’s about time he found a human as interesting and adorable as you. Where having you been hiding all his lifetime?!

He has wayyyy more fun teasing you than Luke. Your pout just makes things x100 better and cuter

Congrats on becoming his new victim MC

Another one to find you very amusing when you try to fight and won’t stop you either

He will dead serious be recording you trying to fight on his DDD. He’ll make sure that it doesn’t escalate but who is he to stop such entertainment?

He has become tempted to cast a superhuman strength spell on you, and he ends up doing it “on accident” (which has happened more than once)

Lucifer has done the “I’m watching you” thing to him every time he has lmao

But no seriously, he won’t let you get hurt; he won’t even let the chance arise. He’s already pulling you away before you can get yourself worked up fully, dragging you to the library or his room to test some new spells (one that he tempts you can use on these demons). It’s enough to get your attention back on him

You’re a daily source of his amusement and someone that he wants MC, but that doesn’t mean he can afford his favorite human getting hurt on his watch!

He’s no stranger to the gossip about him, nor is he clueless. It’s just all talk anyway, he doesn’t care and neither should you. But it is touching to know that you care this much about him and how he feels…

But he doesn’t want you to do this for him. He’s a powerful sorcerer, he can easily solve this without breaking a sweat if he wanted to, but he doesn’t deem it worthy to even waste a drop of potions on. But since you’re so concerned, maybe a quick kiss would make him feel better?

He thought you were a little gullible, but that’s not the case. You just have a very open and bright personality, one that he finds himself getting attached to more and more as each day passes

If he’s not careful, he might get more enamored with you than he already is-

[skimblyshanks]

I’m just. Obsessed that Encanto is so obviously about the effects of Intergenerational trauma and how it hurts everyone.

spoiler ramble under the cut. very long lmao.

From the start Alma is the one insisting the family is “on” near-constantly. They are providing for the town at large at almost all times; they don’t accept any actual gifts or assistance from the village save for the backup party favors. Like the fact that Luisa loses her power the moment that she allows herself a healthy boundary of moderation (she didn’t even stop helping anyone! She just wanted to go a little slower!!) is an immediate sign that this is more linked to Abuela than it ever would be to Mirabel.

And we know courtesy of a bangin’ song that Luisa has defined herself by her strength. And of course one of the things it seemed this movie was going to be about was the family learning they didn’t “need” their gifts, and that is still there, but I really do like that it’s there because they aren’t solely defined by having their gifts, so much as what their gifts can provide to others. Mirabel’s sisters define themselves by what they provide.

I know ppl have expressed disappointment that Isabella didn’t “become a better person” or diversify her powers to be more helpful to the village but that is the point. She is the same age as Dolores but presumably a little bit older as her marriage is the first one to be considered. But therefore she is not only supposed to be helpful to the village, but even more importantly she is integral to the family and their blessing. She has actively stifled herself in case she does something to harm their image and ruin her (and by extension, the family’s) prospects. She doesn’t even know herself. She doesn’t owe the village everything she does with her powers; she’s allowed to have fun with just making things grow in her own house goddamn. She was 5 steps away from a marriage she didn’t want which would have potentially led to 5 children she didn’t want and a strengthened cycle of “your boundaries and desires don’t matter. The Family’s legacy matters. You wouldn’t be what you are without it, you have to repay for that.”

Because Alma clearly believes that the continued blessing of their Encanto is something to be earned/deserved, and it is to be earned by helping others and making them happy, which explains why she’s so awful to Mirabel (As a born Madrigal without a gift, clearly she the 5 year old has failed somewhere, and has continued to fail the next 10 years), and why she was presumably awful to Bruno to the point he was afraid to be seen by her again. Remember: she was ready to put a Five Year Old Little Boy to work the day after he got his Gift, and it’s safe to assume the same happened to the others through the years.

And we know everyone has internalized her belief that the gifts must be used to make people happy to varying degrees because of the general treatment of Bruno. And LOOK AT HIM when Alma requested he look into the future after Mirabel didn’t get a Gift; it’s distressing to him! He hasn’t performed any divinations in 10 years! People likely went to him asking about bad things, he tells them what he sees, they decide that he has spoken it into being, and therefore is to blame for the fallout, and since he is causing negative reactions he is hurting the family and endangering their Gift.

And then when the Encanto begins weakening in the present, of course Mirabel is Alma’s scapegoat. Again, though it’s likely subconsciously, Alma considers those born in the family with the gift as being given grace that they must spend their entirety repaying; it was first earned through Pedro’s sacrifice of his life, and his (worthy) descendants get to use what they’ve been given to sacrifice for others in turn. But Mirabel throws a wrench in that because she is not Gifted. Even though she’s Pedro’s grandchild too. Yes, Alma herself doesn’t have an actual Gift, but she was the Survivor; Pedro’s death sparked the Encanto and she maintains it. In her eyes Pedro is the Encanto itself; he gifts their children and then their grandchildren. But not Mirabel. So even if it’s not an active thought in Alma’s head, the association here is that born Madrigals are Good, so they are given Gifts, which they then use to prove their Goodness by helping others without consideration for themselves. If Mirabel didn’t get a Gift, she isn’t Good, and can’t provide for the community because she doesn’t have a Gift to give back.

And this view of it makes sense when you also look at how relatively well-adjusted Julieta is compared to the rest of her Gifted family, because while it can definitely get stressful, her power largely manifests through baking. Not at all to diminish the work and stress that goes into baking, but

-her Gift doesn’t really have room to backfire on her or others

-her Gift is not immediately linked to her person, nor to her mental state

And that’s also why I’m like. Really bummed that we didn’t get to really see Pepa’s side of the family, though I understand why we didn’t in terms of timing and plot clarity. But like. God, I feel bad for Pepa she presumably spent her whole life in a mindset of toxic positivity because for her to be able to make others happy she’s probably going to have to keep herself “happy” and as we all know on this hellsite that is a breeding ground for neurosis. And if she’s already an emotional person by nature?

WHICH COULD ALSO BE why despite Isabela and Dolores being the same age, Isabela is favored; her mother was the one who really seems to have “earned” her Gift as opposed to Pepa who is an intensely emotional individual Gifted with something linked to her emotional state and who seems to often catastrophize, and will gain a cloud at the slightest stressor which of course is likely to cause a spiral.This also hinted at with that tiny little scene of her and Camilo where he’s encouraging her to take deep breaths and release her body tension.

So Alma watched her husband be killed after they were displaced, suddenly has a home and an Encanto, and is also raising three infants on her own. By the age of five, one young child can cause weather  insanity by having emotions, one can see into the future and sees lots of bad things, and one can heal physical injuries if she makes food and gives it to someone. I think favoritism emerging was kind of inevitable. Which isn’t excusing it so much as just. Yeah I can see this setting up expectations for extended family dynamics.

Of course there’s also the fan confusion about if Dolores’ power is always turned on (and I’m going to assume yes because I doubt she wanted to hear Luisa’s eye twitch all night), and of course that Camilo shockingly has no real sense of himself yet and tbh he really does encapsulate what Alma wants from the family and considering he is the same age as Mirabel while also rarely interacting with her...

Like everything about the family’s dysfunction clearly traces back to Alma’s enforcement that if you aren’t a born Madrigal using your Gift to better other people’s lives and securing the Family’s place as useful and needed and Good, you are detrimental and hurting the family. Which of course traces back to the fact that her husband let himself be killed to buy his family some time to get away, and in return Alma likely gave herself to her children, because what else could she have done? She was displaced, there’s no hint toward having other family around, and you’re not gonna tell your infants about how you watched their father be killed. She didn’t have the chance to take care of herself, so she didn’t. And she doesn’t expect that mentality to change for her family because that mentality gave them their Encanto. Sacrifice at all times. Then you are always deserving of the protection; any blip in the system must be because of a failing on someone’s end.

So Alma is undeniably traumatized. And her response to that trauma creates trauma in her children. And her treatment of her children and grandchildren creates trauma in those grandchildren. And now you have:

The daughter who is a nervous and emotional wreck because she has climate manipulation abilities.

The son who has convinced himself that he can’t help but hurt his family if he’s around them, but loves them too much to actually leave. Also he’s terrified of his mother and what she might do to a 5 year old girl because of a vaguely ominous vision he was pressured to have because his mother couldn’t accept that maybe Mirabel just. Didn’t have anything highly exceptional to bring to the table.

The daughter who has likely assumed a caregiver role from an early age who probably has to do a lot of those “sorry I wasn’t there in the moment but here have some food” talks because food has to be prepared, presumably in bulk.

The perfect Granddaughter who cannot have desires and ideas of her own that don’t help the family.

The granddaughter who can’t help but be hyperaware of her surroundings and regularly keeps her immediate family updated. Also who knows that she is not going to be prioritized by the family at large.

The granddaughter with superhuman strength who is depended on for everyone’s physical needs and believes she is nothing if she isn’t able to hold up the world for others.

The grandson with no sense of self as he’s going to change his form as needed or desired which. Experimentation is good but he likely has few chances for any meaningful exploration of himself vs quick shifts for jokes and long shifts to fulfill others’ needs.

The granddaughter without powers who must have failed somewhere in her first 5 years, or who otherwise was fated to be bad and therefore undeserving of the family Gift.

The grandson who was terrified at the thought of not receiving a Gift, who has an easier time talking to animals than people.

Anyway I don’t really have. Much else to say except I’ve also seen ppl annoyed that Alma “didn’t do enough to make up for what she did to Mirabel” and like. To that my genuine, good faith question is: What would you have had her do? What can be done? You can’t just undo 10 years of trauma. She apologizes, both to Mirabel and to Bruno, and it’s implied she helped rebuild where she could. She  caused damage to her children and grandchildren. Learning the full extent of her own past trauma, Mirabel decided to forgive her and move forward. I’m genuinely not sure what you would have a 74 year old woman who just realized that she is the cause of her family’s continued trauma do to redeem herself for that, both in terms of narrative function, and as someone else’s family member.

Like it’s very complicated and it’s not some perfect ending where everything is fixed, but they move forward; Mirabel’s family finally recognize that she has been stuck in a living hell of rejection within her own family home. She is every bit as involved in the Encanto’s blessing as the others, which is why her final doorknob contribution returns it in full.

They aren’t going to undo past trauma to any of them, but they can rebuild and move forward. that is why they have to rebuild the home, and re-recieve the Encanto.

And what’s most important imo is that the Town are there to help them rebuild. 50 years of Madrigals giving too much of themselves without proper setting of boundaries is met with a community response to help them build up. They are not expected to do this themselves. And they accept it.

Anyway yeah. I needed to put it all out there in text lmao.

[foxx-queen]

so i was trying to work out why flemeth / mythal being the big bad doesn't sit right with me , beyond being a fan of her character, and i think i've finally worked it out? it's because solas is the villain

whether you like him or not, solas is the villain of the next game / responsible for the villain of dai, and everything he's done supports that. turning it into a 'oh he has actually been manipulated the entire time' doesn't suddenly absolve him of anything he's done. aside from almost causing the last apocalypse, and intending to cause the next one that he'll just have control over while everyone dies, even his attitude is very similar to every other villain we've encountered so far.

solas thinks that his way is the only way. loghain and meredith were the same. solas believes that the world as it is now and every other race in it, including elves, are beneath him, and doesn't even really consider them to be people. this is very similar to corypheus' attitude, even down to wanting to restore a lost kingdom to its former glory. if he does actually succeed in tearing down the veil and destroying the current world that'll leave him pretty much in complete power (presuming that he has plans to kill the elven gods / old gods trapped in the veil / beneath the earth) with only spirits for company, who he considers the only 'real' people. he'll basically obtain what corypheus wanted. maybe one of the most telling moments about his character is from a conversation with vivienne. when vivienne asks him what his solution would be for the dangers of magic without a circle, she asks him what he would do if mages became possessed, or used their power to harm, and solas says, 'i would kill them'. vivienne's follow up comment, 'so you alone would pass judgement, repay murder with murder, or do we open this up to mobs and vigilantes? if you're going to dispense judgment upon violent mages yourself, you'll need eternal life and omniscience'. solas sees himself just as that, all knowing and all wise and the only person who is right, even though we know he's not.

solas' attitude never changes – even if you romance him / become friends with him, he still sees you as an outlier of your people, regardless of whether you're human/elf/dwarf/qunari, and if you try and point out that he might've been wrong about people in general, he refuses to even consider the fact. he's prideful and often arrogant – he complains that the dalish are ignorant and that they wouldn't listen to him when he tried to tell them the 'truth', and puts no effort into understanding why the dalish might've struggled to believe a random elf showing up to say that they were wrong with no proof to back up his claims, or why they might've been offended, which is understandable given how he can be openly mocking towards a dalish inquisitor. he literally kills mythal, who was apparently his friend, for her power, because he thinks he's the only one who can save 'the people' even though those people are long dead. he might apologise to the inquisitor, but none of it has any weight to it considering everything he's done and what he plans to do, and it's obvious that he doesn't actually feel any regret, because at the end of the day he doesn't believe that the people who have died because of him are people.

there's a lot of speculation about whether solas can be redeemed, and i think the idea that he's being manipulated might be part of that. i personally don't think he will be – he's been set up as the villain with an entire game establishing that, and he would have to go through massive character development for that to happen, which seems unlikely considering the da4 protagonist won't even be his friend, but rather someone very much set to stop him. any chance of that character development / change of heart was in dai, and nothing happened. as he is now, it would be incredibly out of character for him to suddenly change his mind, because he's shown that he doesn't do that. he's incapable of considering another view point, or that he's in the wrong. he has far too much pride for that. i honestly think he'll end up being killed, and that as he's dying he'll see a glimpse of the world that will come afterwards (maybe one that restores things without destroying the current world, ie the compromise / balance he won't even consider), and that at that point there'll be an option to say that this is what he could've experienced, or to just say he was wrong.

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

TUA AU, this time for season 2 Tommy and Sam!

So. Tommy just got yeeted into the future after having a rather fiery breakdown. That happened.

And he doesn't remember much. He doesn't know where he is, how he got there, or why he feels so alone, like there's somebody - multiple sombodies - who should be here but aren't and it's freaking him out. All he remembers is burning, everything burning, before somebody else is there, telling him everything is going to be okay. He doesn't know who they are, but he thinks it was someone he loved.

(He also remembers a man in green and a mask that makes his breath go shaky, but not exactly why.)

And then you've got Sam. Sam, who lives alone with his dog Fran, is probably driving home after work, when he sees this kid on the side of the road, no adult in sight, nothing but his clothes on his back, probably homeless or a runaway, looks about two seconds away from a panic attack, and- well, what is Sam supposed to do? Just leave him there?

So he goes up to the kid, who nearly jumps out his skin, and after about two minutes of conversation it becomes clear that oh yeah, this kid is definitely not okay. Sam manages to catch his name, before his concern skyrockets as Tommy promptly collapses into his arms because he's had a long fucking day, alright?

Well. It's good thing Sam has that guest room he never uses.

So he brings Tommy home, waits for him to wake up, asks him some questions over breakfast, like where are your parents? What happened to you? Do you have anywhere to go? It's when Tommy gives a quiet no or I don't know that Sam promptly decides "okay, you're staying with me"

It's rough going for the first few weeks. Tommy isn't about to dash out the door like he first did when he woke up, but he doesn't exactly trust Sam either. Meanwhile Sam may not know about the superpowers, or the apocalypse or time travel, but he does manage to gather that this kid must have been through some serious shit. And a lot of his reactions and comments point towards having a not-so-good caregiver in the past, so he does his best to be patient, understanding, give Tommy his space and make sure he knows he doesn't owe Sam anything.

Things slowly get better. Tommy gets acquainted with Fran, who is good at calming him down when Sam can't, especially after nightmares. As the weeks go on, more and more of Tommy's memories trickle in, and Sam helps him deal with that. Tommy tells him he thinks he did some bad things in the past, and Sam tells him he doesn't think Tommy is a bad person, and that it's what he does now that matters, not the past.

A couple of weeks turn into a couple of months, and things are good. Tommy smiles more easily, trusts more easily, is less tense and wary, and Sam will admit that it's nice to have such a vibrant presence in the previously empty house. Maybe Tommy tentatively starts to experiment with his powers in private, getting better control, learning exactly what he can do. Maybe he even remembers that he had a family, that maybe they're out there somewhere. Things are good.

Except one day, things are not so good. Tommy's walking home from doing some errands, when he gets held up by this weird cat-like guy, who keeps asking him questions and is in general getting way too close for comfort. Tommy manages to lose him, and brushes it off. Guy was probably just a conman, or high, or a really creepy salesman. Then he gets home, and Sam is worried, tells him that earlier two guys came by - white hoodie and a guy who refuses to swear - asking a bunch of questions, trying to invite themselves in, and most concerning - they were asking for Tommy specifically.

That is... unnerving, but not necessarily cause for alarm. What harm could they really do? Then next day, the guys come by again, and they're a lot more persistent, keep trying to convince Tommy to come with them, that they can help him, they can bring him to his fanily, and Sam is really not liking the vibe he gets from these guys, and long story short a scuffle breaks out. Tommy uses his powers to scare the guys off, but not before Sam gets injured. Not majorly, but still.

Sam is understandably spooked, especially as it slowly dawns on him he might have bitten off more than he can chew- but no, he's not going to leave Tommy, he promised, he can't. They go to a hotel to stay the night, just in case.

Tommy, meanwhile, is spiraling hard. Because there are people after him, who apparently know about him and what he can do, about his family, and he may not know exactly what they want but it can't be anything good. And they're coming after him, after Sam, and Sam got hurt, Sam got hurt trying to protect him, Sam got hurt because of him, just like everyone else-

Tommy refuses to let people get hurt because of him anymore.

So, quietly in the middle of the night, he writes a note, telling Sam he's sorry, he shouldn't have to deal with, with Tommy, he shouldn't have to get hurt because there are more people out there who want to use Tommy's powers, that it's not his job to protect him. He tells Sam thank you, for everything, for the past few months that have been the best his life, that he doesn't know how to repay him and he'll never forget, and he tells Sam not to look for him, to stay away, for his safety and Tommy's peace of mind. He tells Sam goodbye, then he quietly slips outside, jumps on bus or a train, and walks away from the only stable caregiver he's had in years.

Sam wakes up, reads the note, and promptly decides fuck that, Tommy is a kid, he's Sam's kid, and Sam will be damned before he lets him be alone, because he made a promise to keep Tommy safe and he is damn well going to keep it. So him and Fran jump in the car, and set off for the nearest town.

(And maybe while he's there, he meets a blonde man who also seems to be worried about his kids, so...

Sam: Hey, have you seen a tall, skittish blonde teenager? Curses a lot, about 6' 1", kind of a smart-ass?

Phil:

Phil: Tell me everything you know right now.)

Meanwhile, Tommy is walking down the street of some unknown city, oblivious to the pink-haired vigilante that does a double take when he sees him, disbelief all across his face.

It’s found family your honor. It’s Sam and Tommy bonding and becoming a family and oh god that’s giving me so many feelings and then Tommy leaves because he thinks he’s a danger to Sam and oh man. This hurts.

On the bright side though, we have everything coming together and we have the plot just slowly converge together and that’s great.

[ereawrites]

Tim Drake - NSFW Alphabet!

this was not requested

taglist: @daddyissuesmademe @idkmanicantenglish

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Tim, as much as he enjoys it in the moment, can’t cope with being messy/sweaty etc after you’re done. He likes to shower together after sex - lots of kisses, mumbling how amazing you are into your skin, cleaning each other while half-holding each other up with exhaustion. After that, he loves to go back to bed and play with your hair while you both drift off to sleep. This is one of the only times Tim will sleep straight through the night.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, Tim likes his hands. He has long, slender fingers: much of his childhood was spent playing piano, and his handwriting is gorgeous when he actually tries. They’re often stained with ink, which reminds him how hard he works. Also... major fingering kink. Huge. He will happily finger you for hours.

On you, Tim is absolutely in love with your shoulders, collarbones, and neck. He thinks they all look so graceful and elegant. During foreplay and a lot of sex, Tim basically has to have his lips somewhere in this area. A surefire way to catch his attention is to wear an off-shoulder dress, or a nice necklace. (He may ask you to keep the necklace on during sex).

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Looooves to come onto your chest and collarbones. He isn’t so keen on coming inside, mostly because it lowkey terrifies him, but he can be convinced in the heat of the moment if you ask nicely enough. Tim comes a lot. Even after one round, there’s still a lot coming out of there. You will need a lot of tissues.

As an extension of the fingering kink, if you squirt, Tim will go absolutely nuts. He’ll totally lose his mind, and keep going until you do it three more times. He doesn’t care if he gets messy. He’s a champ and he powers through and it actually turns him on a ridiculous amount.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

...he didn’t mean to do it, he just couldn’t help himself. It was one of the first times you slept at the manor, and you had to rush home in the morning - you quickly woke him up to say goodbye, but he was in the middle of a sex dream, and in all the rush you left behind your sweatshirt. Tim ended up holding it to his nose and furiously jacking off right after you left.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s definitely messed around with a few people by the time he meets you, but he’s quite possibly a virgin. Tim takes a long time to open up to anyone enough to actually have sex with them, so he tends to stick to foreplay for a long time. However, this means he’s very, very talented at foreplay; he’s also a very quick learner, and he loves to spend a long time getting to know his partner’s body. So, yes, he definitely knows what he’s doing, he just might be a little shy at first.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl or the face-off. He loves being topped, and watching you on top of him is heaven for him. Plus, he can get to your clit easily in these positions. He’s totally happy to experiment with any positions you like, though.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Tim’s generally more serious - he doesn’t get much time with you, and he wants to be fully involved and focused in the moment. Especially for the first few times you have sex, Tim has a very intense focus about him, and he’s totally concerned with your pleasure. Once he learns your body more, though, moments of goofiness and laughter can shine through.

H = Harmony (do they like music in the background?)

Once Tim gets his hands on you, everything else is tuned out. He couldn’t care less about what’s going on in the background. The one exception to this is if there are other people in the building: Tim tries to have some background music or radio to seem less suspicious. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Tim’s only really likely to have sex with you if he genuinely loves you, or at least cares about you very deeply. You can feel this in each of his touches. It’s as if he’s in awe of you, literally worshipping your body, and there’s a very specific kind of gentle, loving intensity. If you’re taking charge, it’s quite common for him to gasp, god, you’re perfect, I love you so much-

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Outside of a relationship, Tim almost never jacks off. He often goes months without touching himself, simply because he never allows himself to relax enough to do so. He’ll only ever do it if, for example, you inadvertently get him so riled up that he can’t control it any longer. Even once he’s in a relationship, he rarely does it. He’d prefer to wait for you. Phone sex is the big exception, though - regular business trips are made a little easier by hearing your voice.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Masochist, femdom, bondage (on you or him), vibrators and cock rings, risky/semi-public sex, fingering, sensation play e.g. ice, blindfolds (on him), hair pulling, hickeys (on you), edging, sending nudes

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

1. The bedroom

2. Shower

3. Office/kitchen counter (tie)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The easiest way to turn Tim on is, simply, to let it be known that you want him while also encouraging him to relax. Press up against him when you kiss him a goodbye on the cheek in the morning, and you’ll be in his head all day. Run your nails down his shoulders while you massage them. Coax him into bed because you ‘can't sleep without him”. Tim is always lowkey horny, you just have to get him thinking about sex.

Once you get going, Tim very easy gets caught up in everything. He lives to hear your moans and watch your expressions. The more pleasure he gives you, the more he wants to give.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No sharing. Tim has enough insecurities, and he doesn’t want that amplified by getting someone else involved. He also doesn’t want anything that has the potential to cause real harm (e.g. knives) - pain is fine, but he would never forgive himself if he genuinely hurt you. As for turn offs, Tim doesn’t like anyone who is too full of themselves or overly arrogant. He also hates someone who acts too aloof.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Tim does enjoy giving oral - especially after you’ve came once or twice already - but, again, he’d honestly prefer to finger you or at least have his hands involved. He finds it stupidly hot if you sit on his face. He doesn’t care if he can’t breathe, he’ll literally grab your hips and pull you down onto him harder.

He definitely prefers to receive (he isn’t selfish, he repays you) since it’s one of the only times he can completely let go. As much as he knows it’s a cliche, he goes absolutely crazy for a blowjob under his office desk. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He usually goes for a slow, intense pace if he’s in control. He wants to savour every moment and each one of your reactions; that means a steady, thorough pace, so he can angle each one of his thrusts just right. However, when he’s particularly high on adrenaline (or jealous) he adopts a faster and less sensual pace.

If you’re taking the reins, Tim’s a sucker for a rougher pace. Tease him by going slow at first, then work it up so you’re practically bruising his hips with how hard you’re riding him, and watch his eyes roll right back into his skull.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Of course Tim prefers to take the time to really indulge, but his schedule doesn’t often allow that. The majority of sex with Tim is probably quickies. For example: in his office on his lunch break, on the kitchen table before leaves for work, in a side alley on a quiet night of patrol. He also loves a quick phone call in the middle of meetings. Once you figure out how to rile him up enough and get him in the mood, you’ll receive a lot of frantic and desperate calls.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Obviously. He gets off so much on knowing there’s a risk of being caught, pressing his palm over your mouth while he buries his own moans in the crook of your neck. He’s much less keen on risking any harm to you.

As for experimentation, Tim is all for it, but you have to give him time to research it first. He needs to be fully prepared and informed for anything he does. Tim’s actually pretty likely to suggest new things, depending on whatever he finds during this research: especially as he becomes more experienced, he suggests a lot of new things to try together (pegging). He trusts you completely.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Pretty good stamina - enough to make you come at least once, but he usually chooses to slow down and pace himself so he can make you come two or three times (<3). He kind of loses it and comes fast if you ride him hard and maybe push him down, but he’ll make up for it. Tim’s entirely capable of going two or three rounds if you’ve got the time and the energy; this generally happens when he comes home after a few weeks away. If you’re feeling down or insecure, though, there’s at least 2 rounds of body worship coming your way.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I’m just gonna say it. Tim has a butt plug. He busts it out after particularly stressful weeks, and although it’s something he initially keeps quiet, he can be convinced to bring it into your bed if that’s something you’re into. He also loves it when you use cockrings or restraints on him. On you, Tim absolutely loves using vibrators.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Not the biggest tease at first, but the real teasing comes when he starts edging you. Tim doesn't necessarily mean it in a cruel way - unless you’ve asked him to - and it’s more in a way of building you up to an even stronger orgasm. He feels a little bad if he teases you too much. Even when he’s playfully flirting, he never really takes it far enough for it to become teasing - he prefers to stay vaguely suggestive and let your mind do the rest. For Tim, it’s all about you teasing him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lots of breathy moans, pants of your name, and this can sometimes devolve into whimpers as he gets closer to his orgasm. He doesn’t often verbalise, since he’s normally too far gone to actually string sentences together, but when he does it’s praise. He’s not ridiculously loud but his moans are pretty much constant, and occasionally you get one out of him that the neighbours definitely hear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He comes on the spot the first time you bite his shoulder.

X = X-marks the spot (where’s their favourite place to give/receive hickies)

Tim doesn't exactly have a possessive streak, but he can become easily insecure and likes to know that you're clearly ‘his’. He loves to leave hickies across your collarbone, just low enough that they can be covered if need be, but he secretly goes wild if you leave them just poking out over the collar of your shirt. He thinks they’re a little juvenile, though, so he doesn’t mark you unless something sets him off.

He has quite pale skin and bruises very easily. This makes him a dream to leave marks on. He tells you not to, since they’re a pain to explain to the family, but if you suck bruises into his hipbones during a blowjob he’s going to have to bite down on his hand to keep quiet.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

As above - he’s pretty much always lowkey, background-level horny. Tim is always up for sex, as long as you get him thinking about it for a few hours beforehand. In the average week, Tim will probably go for sex around two times, but this can be more if you’ve been apart for a long time beforehand.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You’ve got about ten to fifteen minutes to clean up, tell him how much you love him, and get back into bed before he’s out like a light. On the upside, Tim’s very cuddly after sex, and you’ll wake up wrapped in his arms.

[ramblingguy54]

Webby’s Serious Vulnerability & Need For Happiness.

The McDucks meant everything to me. Not just because of their great name, but because they were a great family. One I thought I could be apart of, but now it’s gone...Guess the name, McDuck, didn’t mean much after all...

Webby’s desire for making others happy has been her greatest strength as a character. A beckon of hope others can be drawn to, much like it was for Lena’s case being best explored. Webby even helped Penny find her place in their big crazy world of Duckberg, but what happens when she tries to help a personal matter that, as Dewey said, could only make things worse? Even though this episode wasn’t the angst trip I was speculating it to become for our second visit to Castle McDuck, it shines an interesting introspective upon Webby’s emotional vulnerability once again. Something we saw before in Lost Harp Of Mervana once Webby realized Beakly had lied to her about trusting people in general. It’s not just one part of her character, but the entirety of who she is as a person when it comes to her unwavering philosophy of hope. Webby’s newfound confidence toward facing unknown stuff after getting outta the mansion helped because of others supporting her, too. Webby feels like she owes so much of herself for what this family gave to her life emotionally because she didn’t have much of anything in a long awhile, other than Beakly, obviously. It’s no surprise Webby Vanderquack has been a pretty lonely kid as evidenced by her particular episode quote from Woo-oo, “Ehhh, my granny is a bit overprotective. She trains me to be ready for anything, but then says I’ve got everything right here...”, showing how much solitude she endured socially. Webby got this idea into her head she owes her life to Clan McDuck’s lineage, basically. Which is why she tried everything in her power to manipulate the family into making up.

Webby’s helpful friendly morality has been played up for laughs before, like in New Gods On The Block, but here Webby is very controlling attempting to force moral solutions upon a complicated situation, revolving around inheritance of who’ll become the next statue pedestal. For good measure, Webby pulls upon Dewey’s strings for being noticed as the “best child” and formulates another idea ending in more escalation upon an already feuding family. Doesn’t help Huey & Louie stumble into this room at the worst possible time for added consequences. They were both already getting on each others nerves, so it sent them into adding fuel upon this bigger fire becoming a gigantic one as an end result. All of this was moral karma for Webby’s need to make others happy, even if it meant using her own methods to force a solution. Webby is certainly Scrooge’s biggest fan alright, considering his severe need for control rubbed off on her. The kid wants people to be content she’ll go so far as to push that idea, so Webby can feel happy about herself, too. Webby’s optimism was greatly praised in They Put On Moonlander On Earth and the writers wanted to criticize why putting so much stock into an idea of, “Everyone needs to get along, so I can feel happy!”,  can also be a double edged sword in its own right. Sometimes you do need to step away from an already bad situation making things simmer down. Dewey did have a point to an extent about family fighting being a tricky situation. However, it’s not until Webby cuts all the bullshit simply to speak from her heart. No more lies or tricks, but a simple sentimental statement about why she feels the need to repay a debt to the Duck Family. Only then, could their squabbling actually stop.

I set out to preserve their history, but I destroyed it all. The past, the present, and the future...

Webby gets stricken with serious guilt seeing how much damage her meddling around has caused. Besides feeling awful about how she tried taking advantage of the situation, it made her question if they were all their name was cracked up to be. All the studying she did by herself about Scrooge’s ties and legacy are being called into suspicion. If their historical achievements are great, than it can be argued in turn this causes more harm than good for a future together. When you’re at each others necks about who will succeed whatever they’re getting handed it stirs up more issues down the road. The McDuck pride is their greatest strength, yet weakness, from what this episode study displays. Remember Dewey’s research into Della’s disappearance and questioning whether or not she was a genuinely good person? Consider Webby’s introspection as a callback to it, reflecting upon her own value, where if she has put so much faith into who they are seeing them like this, than what does that make her? I’m definitely keeping this as an important mental note for future reference in the next last batch of episodes. She keeps seeing the ugly side of how people can act, including her own family, making this poor kid question everything Webby has held true to for a lot of her life. Dewey had that exact dilemma in Season 1′s episode, The Spear Of Selene, being so terrified of the possibility Della was a self centered traitor to his family. He was scared of being related to somebody who didn’t care for her family at all, making him wonder if that too makes him bad for solely being biologically tied to Della?

Webbigail, no doubt, feels a similar weight of seeing an uglier truth she’s afraid to accept. That not everyone means well in their intentions all the time. She got a taste of that back in Impossibin with Beakly’s extremist behavior about preparing for FOWL’s inevitable threat upon their lives. Now, yes, Beakly did mean well, but she showed a type of ferocity Webby is used to seeing her direct at their enemies, instead of the girl’s general direction. It terrified her for that period of briefness watching Beakly not pull her punches, at least until the end anyway. Factoring in all those variables showcases Webby’s greatest obstacle, her unconditional faith. Although, save for what happened in Mervana, Webby’s not one to doubt people often, since she was quick to forgive Beakly’s oversight a couple of episodes ago. The scary thing though is Webby did doubt everything these McDucks stood for in this moment and that’s very concerning for what they’re foreshadowing in her future conflicts, particularly with Beakly.

That girl believes the best in people, especially Merpeople. If she finds out they’re lying, she’ll be devastated.

When you’ve got her crumbling up a deeply cherished photo Webby held dearly to heart, that’s a big red flag going up there in my mind. If Webby’s already going that far in how hard she’s taking harsh reminders of stuff, then Beakly’s secrets are gonna destroy her emotionally. Food for thought to consider. Mirroring this picture with Beakly’s line from the Lost Harp episode really puts it into perspective about how truly sensitive Webby is to facing an unkind world.

[vajranam]

Giving Up On Meat

Song of Advice for Giving Up Meat Eating

by Nyala Pema Dündul

When I think of the suffering that meat eating brings,

I cannot bear the pain and anguish I feel within my heart.

Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ hrīḥ!

From a state of emptiness and compassion, you guide beings — 

Noble Avalokiteśvara, to you I pay homage.

Without having trained in love and compassion myself,

I ate the flesh of my mothers while lecturing others about cause and effect.

Without realizing the absolute, I wandered along the path of empty words.

I, the parrot-like beggar of White Rock,

Was practicing austerities and ‘extracting the essence’,[1]

When, one day, while meditating on Lord Avalokiteśvara,

According to the union of stages from Self-Liberation Equal to Space,[2]

My own body and everything around me suddenly disappeared

And transformed into a luminous body like that of the Great Compassionate One,

Seemingly floating in space.

As I looked around while experiencing luminous awareness,

I saw the inconceivable miseries of the lower realms.

And, in particular, the vast sufferings of the Reviving Hell.

One of its quarters, I saw, was completely filled

With men and women, naked and helpless, before each of whom

Stood throngs of evil-looking servants with heads

Like birds, wild and domesticated animals, and ferocious beasts.

Many of the servants held sharp weapons in their hands,

With which to slice apart and devour the flesh of their victims.

Time and again they cut, and time and again flesh grew back.

Victims did not expire until their karma was fully exhausted,

And habitual tendencies did not diminish, but only increased.

For those who had performed ‘red offerings’ it was even worse.

Loudly, they all screamed in terrible pain and agony.

When I had seen this external manifestation of my own perception,

I wondered what might be done to stop such suffering.

And, in that very instant, in the sky before me,

The Great Compassionate One appeared, and said:

“Ema! My son, who has been close to me throughout many lives,

Listen well now, you who are diligent and determined!

You have gained stability in the generation stage of deity yoga,

And have even developed a few qualities,

But the root of Dharma lies in loving kindness and compassion.

Do you have real love and compassion within yourself?

How could anyone trained in compassion ever eat flesh?

Just look at how eating meat brings such suffering!

The results of our own actions will ripen on us alone;

There is nothing the buddhas of the three times may do.

Eating meat has no virtue whatsoever but entails many faults.

It is the source of 400 forms of disease and 80,000 obstructing forces,

And it naturally brings about the 84,000 afflictive emotions.

Other than as part of the fearless conduct of benefitting all one encounters,

Or as a medicine or sacred substance of the supreme Secret Mantra,

Consumption of flesh involves not the tiniest trace of virtue.

Eating flesh is a sign of being either a māra or rākṣasa demon.

It causes discipline to degenerate and negative emotions to increase.

Without the cause, which is altruistic love and compassion,

You will find it hard to gain the fruit, the essence of awakening.

Meat eaters are not accompanied by the wisdom deities.

They lack blessings, accomplishment, auspiciousness and activity.

The substance of altruism does not develop in eaters of flesh,

Whom gods, nāgas and others regard as demons.

Meat eaters are plagued by gandharvas, rākṣasas, māras,

Yamas, ghosts, spirits, gyalpo, gongpo, and samaya-breaking demons.

The result of eating meat is rebirth in the hells,

Or as a bird, a jackal, a cannibal demon, or the like.

Meat eating thus brings suffering beyond measure.

But by renouncing it, you are freed from all these faults,

And will always be revered by non-human beings,

Who will see you as a pure, authentic brahmin or god.

All the buddhas and bodhisattvas, together with their retinues, throughout the ten directions,

Gurus, yidam deities and ḍākinīs will gather around you like clouds,

And you will be accompanied by male and female bodhisattvas.

Quite naturally, you will possess the cause of loving kindness and compassion,

And swiftly reach the fruit, which is the essence of awakening.

These are just some of the inconceivable virtues to be gained.”

Thus he spoke; and then, once my own perception had returned,

I felt as if I had awakened from a lucid dream.

My body and mind were tormented as if I had swallowed poison,

And I shook with fear and panic.

Just thinking of the terrible sufferings of the Reviving Hell,

I wished only to exchange my happiness for others’ pain.

So utterly overwhelmed was my mind, I wept profusely.

And I felt intense, unbearable compassion.

Then, to take upon myself the sufferings of others,

And to purify their faults and obscurations caused by eating meat,

For every mother sentient being, as infinite in number as space is vast,

I made the following vow, true according to the two levels of reality:

“Aho! Mighty sage Śākyamuni and all buddhas and bodhisattvas throughout the whole of space and time,

Have compassion for this child who knew nothing of cause and effect!

Hosts of gracious root and lineage masters, care for me!

Have compassion for this child who knew nothing of cause and effect!

Supreme yidam deity, mighty Avalokiteśvara, care for me!

Have compassion for this child who knew nothing of cause and effect!

Overwhelmed by ignorance and the two obscurations,

I have often spoken of how all infinite beings have been our parents,

And while living off their flesh, lectured about cause and effect.

I had no idea that the suffering involved was so great!

Often have I heard it said that eating meat with threefold purity[3]

Is sanctioned by the Buddha and does not count as sin.

But this applies only to saints who benefit all they encounter,

Like pure lotus flowers, unstained by negative emotions,

And to practitioners of the profound path of Secret Mantra.

For my part, I have no instruction more profound

Than altruistic love and compassion,

And the infallibility of cause and effect.

To purify all the faults and obscurations of eating flesh

Among all sentient beings, who extend throughout the whole of space,

From this moment on, I completely renounce the eating of flesh.

This is my unfailing commitment, which I shall never forsake.

Even if all the animals upon this earth were to be devoured,

There would still be no satisfaction; hunger would only continue to increase.

Deprived of food or drink for just a few days,

We feel as if we have never tasted even so much as a single morsel or drop before.

Now is the time to escape this demon, hunger.

What, after all, is the cause of this flesh?

It springs only from self-clinging and attachment.

Merely to think of it makes me weary, nauseated.

This utterly unappetizing mound of mess and filth,

Bound up with the thirty-six impure substances,

A body of habitual patterns and aggregates, is the basis for all suffering.

Each animal has its own negative actions,

And whoever eats the flesh of such beings will find it hard to win liberation.

Meat and alcohol are impure substances,

And to offer them does not count as generosity, the Buddha said.

Who, therefore, would eat this food of the afflictions?

Pretas must live for many thousands of human years

Without seeing food or drink, enduring only suffering.

But we human beings gladly drink even ice-cold water,

And have plenty to sustain us besides meat and alcohol.

If we are still not satisfied by such delights,

How could we repay past kindnesses so unfairly?

Throughout the course of countless aeons past

In every world within this universe so vast,[4]

There’s not a single being who has not been our mother.

And the milk we drank from maternal breasts would fill a billion seas.

I abandon all pretence; let the Three Jewels be my witness!

In the past, under the sway of ignorance and habit,

I ate my parents’ flesh and did not remorsefully confess.

Now with pure motivation and the four powers complete,

As in the saying, “I was not, am not, and will not be attached,”

Henceforth, may the thought of eating meat never even cross my mind.

Should I ever fail, let the Three Jewels send their punishment.

May the protectors and guardians constantly keep watch.

Were I now to eat the flesh of my past mothers,

There would be no greater transgressor in all the three realms!

The Buddha said that harming others even slightly impairs one's vows.

So what need is there to mention flesh eating which involves taking life?

In the Parinirvāṇa Sūtra, Laṅkāvatāra and elsewhere, it is said

That eating meat is tantamount to killing.

It is forbidden in both the greater and lesser vehicles,

But is particularly unacceptable for bodhisattvas.

Our Teacher himself, when he appeared as a partridge’s young,

And as a ferocious beast[5] in the wild, would not eat meat.

How then could we, his followers, ever do so?

In accordance with the guidance of the Victorious One,

There were many great masters in India and Tibet who gave up meat.

As all this shows, the faults of meat eating are unimaginably vast.

Not cultivating negativity is itself genuine Dharma.

So may I always comply with the authentic teaching!"

Having seen the boundless faults that come from eating meat,

Even the thought of it is as nauseating as poison.

And so, I, the great beggar with the name of Dündül,

Composed these words of advice to encourage my own renunciation

In the Sky Fortress hermitage of White Rock.

As a result of this virtue, may all sentient beings

Purify all the faults and obscurations that come from eating meat,

So that they may see the thousand buddhas face to face!

| Translated by Adam Pearcey, with many thanks to Ringu Tulku Rinpoche for his clarifications. Original translation 2004. Revised version 2017.

[keyenuta]

TWST OC: Persona

"I can assure you on this, you've never had a friend like me~"

Name: Imari Djinn

Biographic Info:

Voiced By: Kimura Ryohei

Gender: Male

Age: ??? (Appears to be 17)

Birthday: May 25th

Starsign: Gemini ♊

Height: 5'8"

Eye Color: electric blue

Hair Color: Storm Grey

Homeland: Land of Hot Sands

Professional Status:

Dorm: Scarabia

School Year: Second

Class: 2-A

Student no. 14

Occupation: Student, Kalim's advisor and sorcerer

Club: Writing

Best subject: flying

Fun facts:

Dominant hand: right

Favorite Food: Injera

Least Favorite Food: Baklava

Dislikes: having no freedom, disloyalty, unfairness, anyone who tries to harm Kalim, Jamil, just Jamil. Snakes

Hobby: Flying, writing, freestyle dancing

Talents: Rapping, can identify lists extremely easily

Imari Jelani is a second year student and is an unofficial co-vice dorm leader. He and hos father are genies who due to an act of kindness from the Al-Asim's current head, are in charge of protecting and assisting its family in By matter they may need. And currently he is Kalim's adviser, servant and if needed, sorcerer. He's been with Jamil and Kalim since he was (in genie standards) young, and has grown attached to Kalim, surprised and proud of his generosity and kindness, but he very much dislikes Jamil. Seeing him a snake in the sand who cannot be trusted.

Appearance:

Imari is a boy with dark brown skin and piercing electric blue eyes, even looking at moment in his blue orbs seems like looking into a monstrous thunder storm. Not really helped by his storm greatly hair, which resembles a churning cloud just ready to launch bolts of lightning at any moment.

Wrapped around his head is a sapphire headscarf with silver storm design a across the silky fabric as it matches his eyes as well as the ring around his neck.

Speaking of which, dangling around his neck is a chain which connects to a black ring with a dazzling sapphire gem in the middle. It is the item the genie is sealed in, and also is where his more fantastical power is stored.

Always on his dark brown face is a sly, charming grin. As of he's always wearing a mask or trying to goad some one into trusting him. If you didn't know him, you'd suspect him to be a fragrant liar 24/7.

And as a side note, if he were to be in his genie form, his legs would disappear into a tall of dark storm clouds and lightning.

Personality:

Despite how his demeanor may suggest, Imari is honestly one of the most trustworthy people in NRC. He always pays back his eyes great or small with twice of what he received if you've treated him well. He's honestly a albiet playful, but very compassionate and kind person who if treated well, will treat others with profound respect and kindness.

Like I said earlier he can be playful, his sly demeanor has more weight than that. He will often tease, or make fun of others from time to time, often loving to see their reactions or just to get revenge for a slight. As he did with Jamil in the famous ned bug swarm he may ir may not have had a hand in.

But above all else he's a wise and often teacher like individual, seemingly everything he does or sees can be a lesson fir others. Heck he often gives people hints or advice fir what he notices may be coming. But rarely will he intervene, "what's the use of teaching if i do everything for you" is what he believes in.

Kalim has jokingly called him his teacher s few time cause of how much he advises and helps him with lessons.

And as a side note, he's very much a freedom lover, often doing what comes to his mind whenever able. He's like the air, while you can bind it for a time, it always finds a way to escape sooner or later.

"Unique Magic":

"What you desire": Imari's unique magic isn't really a unique magic, while he can use magic like anyone else, to use his magic to its full extent beyond his binds of being a genie, he has to ask someone is that what you wish or desire. And if they decide yes, he can unleash whatever wish they've requested, freeing all his magic to the forefront.

Trivia:

His name means Loyal genie

Imari is an air genie, making his want for freedom much more than a want but it's a need

His father had made him when Kalim's father wished for a guardian abd advisor for his son. And so one day when Kalim was still a baby, Imari's father had created him from the winds of a storm

He probably has a crush on Kalim

He has a habit of saying no one's ever had a friend like him

Jamil knows Imari is a genie and has often asked what's his game, or has tried to gain his ring.

If you gain Imari's ring it's like you gain his soul, he has to follow your orders without fail no matter what

Jamil has often threatened to tell kalim and others Imari is a genie but Imari will combat that who'd believe him and that kalim would see off as him complimenting him

But much to his shock in ch.4 Kalim revealed he knew for a long time, shocking both his aides

This was probably seen when Kalim often described Imari as his genie or something similar, but Imari thought kalim was just praising him or something

After events in ch.4 Kalim freed Imari from his ring, and after that, despite him no longer being forced to, to repay kalim for such a gift, he'd be with the heir until the day he passes to repay it.

He and his father if they were in our world would be Africans, specifically Ethiopians.

[swanqueeneverafter]

The Once & Future Queen Pt.34

The Dochraid's Sacred Cave. (The Dochraid pulls herself to her feet, chanting.) Dochraid: "Gehaele thisne lichaman. Gestrangeme nu mihtig hie to forwarniene; yfel is on ofost. (While the Dochraid chants, she attaches a message to a crow’s leg:) Fleoge thu swa swa se windraesgrimsath.” (When she finishes her chant, the crow flies out of the cave.) The Cauldron of Arianrhod. (A small group has gathered for what promises to be the site of Morgana’s cleansing.) Emma: “Can the Dochraid be trusted? Is there really a remedy?” Regina: “If Morgana has suffered what I suspect then no, I don’t think so.” Emma: “You know what happened to her?” Regina: “Just because Rumplestiltskin refused to venture into the realm of the High Priestesses, doesn’t mean I never looked into them. After some research and books borrowed from Maleficent, I read about an ancient ritual of the Old Religion called the Teine Diaga.” Emma: “Teine Diaga?” Regina: “The sacred fire. The ritual used the mandrake root to bring unimaginable terror to the victim. Their screams could be heard twenty leagues away. When it was finally over, their will was no longer their own. They were slaves of the High Priestesses for eternity.” Emma: “Do you think Morgause performed this ritual on Morgana?” Regina: “It’s possible. Such mysteries were revealed only to a handful of female initiates." Emma: “Well, either way, the Dochraid told Guinevere that Morgana needs to be conscious when she enters the Cauldron. She must do so of her own free will or the spell will not be broken.” Regina: “Hm, that part, I fear, may not be within even our powers.” Emma: “Then the rest is futile.” Regina: “But there is someone for whom it is possible.” Emma: “Who? (Regina merely stares at her:) Guinevere?” Regina: (Nods:) “Only she can reach the part of Morgana that remains true.” Emma: “It won’t work. Morgana turned Guinevere into a deer for crying out loud!” Regina: “And I put a sleeping curse on Snow White and now I’m married to her daughter. Surely after everything we’ve been through you don’t underestimate the power of love, Emma? Guinevere is the only one who knew Morgana from before. She’s the key.” Emma: “Well, we’re about to find out.” (They turn to see Morgana, surrounded by knights, being led towards the Cauldron.)

(The sound of footsteps cause Emma and Regina to turn stare at an ancient looking woman as she steps out from behind some large rocks.) Dolma: “Who are you? What business have you in this sacred place?” Guinevere: “Are you the Dolma, ancient sorceress of the Cauldron of Arianrhod?” (The Dolma extends her hands and inclines her head.) Dolma: “Who else would I be?” Guinevere: (To Lancelot:) “Does she look familiar to you?” Lancelot: “There is something…” Dolma: “What say you? Why do you mutter?” Lancelot: “You look familiar, sorceress.” Dolma: (Raises a hand to touch her hair:) “Oh. Is that so?” Lancelot: “It is.” Dolma: “Perhaps our paths have crossed before, Tall, dark stranger. (She bats her eyes at him:) My memory is not what it once was, but I swear I would have remembered you.” (Lancelot looks to the Dolma with suspicion, preparing to unsheath his sword as she moves closer to him. Guinevere stifles her giggles at the look on Lancelot’s face and steps between them.) Guinevere: “Apologies, Dolma, but I’m afraid Lancelot is spoken for.” Dolma: “Shame. I am an old woman, it’s true, but I would have given you the thrill of your young life, Sir Lancelot.” (The knights begin to snigger while Lancelot looks bemused.) Guinevere: “You know why we’re here.” Dolma: “Nothing is hidden from… the Dolma. Come, we shall stand by the pool. (The party follows the Dolma towards the edge of the body of water. Approaching Morgana, the Dolma places her hands on Morgana’s face, looking into her eyes:) The magic which has ensnared you is strong indeed. It can be fought. It can be broken, but it may also prevail. Do you understand this?” (Morgana says nothing, her attention caught by the arrival of Xena and Gabrielle.) Guinevere: “I do.” Dolma: “What we attempt will not be easy. If we fail, Morgana will be lost forever.” Guinevere: “I understand.”

Dolma: “Very well. In order for this to work, Morgana must walk into the Cauldron of Arianrhod of her own will. Only then will the spell be broken. But be warned, all the magic that binds her will fight against it. You must reach her, Guinevere. Reach that part which has remained untouched by evil.” Lancelot: “Is there such a part?” Dolma: (To Guinevere:) “You must believe there is. Prepare yourself.” (Guinevere nods, then motions to Regina to remove the cuff from Morgana’s wrist. At the very moment she can feel her powers return, Morgana smiles.) Morgana: “Fools.” (Raising her arms, Morgana emits a pulse of magic that sends Emma, Regina and the knights flying. The Dolma runs behind Lancelot clutching onto him for dear life. Turning her attention to Xena and Gabrielle, Morgana uses her powers to blast some rocks in their path and cause a rock slide to crash towards them. Ducking between some large boulders, Xena and Gabrielle find shelter from the deluge.) Gabrielle: “I think we may have arrived a little early.” Xena: “Nah, we’re right on time.” (Brandishing her chakram, Xena steps out from their hiding spot and spins through the air to land mere feet from the vengeful sorceress. Raising her hand once more, Morgana is about to strike when Guinevere stands before her.) Morgana: “Move out of my way, Guinevere.” Guinevere: “Never. You wear the uniform of a callous sorceress well but we both know what lies beneath.” Morgana: “Your naïveté would be charming if it wasn’t so dangerous. You brought me here to strip me of my powers, to make me weak?” Guinevere: “I seek only to save the woman I knew all those years ago. To finally repay she who fought with everything in her power to see that I was rescued.” Forest. Past. (Morgana and Guinevere run along the forest path but Guinevere's ankle will not support her any longer.) Guinevere: "It’s no use! I’ll get us both captured. You must leave me." Morgana: "I will not!" Guinevere: "Morgana, go! Please! You must get help!" (Morgana sees the men catching up to them and hands Guinevere the sword.) Morgana: “Take this.” Guinevere: “Go!” (Morgana runs. Guinevere hides behind a tree, then jumps out and takes down the man pursuing them. Morgana stops when she hears the man’s scream, then continues running.)

Camelot. Council Chamber. (Morgana enters with Arthur.) Uther: (Rising from the throne:) “It’s such a relief to see you safe. (Cups her face:) I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone harming you.” Morgana: “The bandits still have Guin.” Arthur: “I believe they were Mercian. We’ve received reports that Hengist has crossed the border.” Uther: “Hengist?” Morgana: “You must send a rescue party.” Uther: “If Hengist is holding her, it would take a small army to rescue your maid.” Morgana: “We can’t abandon her!” Uther: “How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant?” Morgana: “As many as it takes! Guin gave herself up so that I might escape. I owe her my life.” Uther: “She did so willingly, and she will be honoured for it.” (Uther turns back towards the throne but Morgana pursues him.) Morgana: (Grabbing his arm:) “I don’t want her honoured, I want her rescued! She is more than just my maid. She’s my friend.” Uther: (Takes a breath:) “A servant is of no value to these bandits. (Puts his hands on her shoulders:) I fear she’s dead already.” Morgana: “No! (Shrugs out of his grasp:) We cannot give up hope! (Turns to Arthur, beseechingly:) Arthur? I’m begging you. You have to do something.” Arthur: “Your father’s right, Milady. I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.” Morgana: “How can you say that?! (Looks around the room:) How can you live with yourselves?! All of you!” Arthur’s Chambers. Night. (Morgana bursts in.) Morgana: “How can you be so heartless?! Guin is the most kind, loyal person that you would ever meet, and she has been more than a friend to all of us! And you would leave her at the mercy of those animals!” Arthur: “Morgana…” Morgana: “Have you no shame? Do you think of no one but yourself?” Arthur: “Morgana…” Morgana: “I knew you were many things, Arthur, but I didn’t know you were a gutless coward!” Arthur: “Morgana! Perhaps if you would stop shouting at me for one second, you would notice that I am packing.” Morgana: (Calms and looks down:) “You’re going after Guin.” Arthur: “Of course I’m going after her. What do you take me for? I couldn’t disagree with the King in public.” (Arthur puts his saddlebags over his shoulder and walks towards the door.) Morgana: (Calling after him:) “Arthur? (He turns:) Bring her home.” Camelot. Staircase. Two Days Later. (Morgana stands on the Griffin landing staring worriedly out the window. Arthur walks up the stairs.) Arthur: “Morgana. There’s someone here to see you.” (Arthur steps aside and Guinevere runs into Morgana’s arms.) Morgana: “Guin! I thought I’d never see you again.” (Arthur gives Guinevere a knowing look as she hugs Morgana. He gives them their space and returns down the steps.) The Cauldron of Arianrhod. Present. (Morgana stands listening to Guinevere while she continues their journey down memory lane.) Guinevere: “Then, when I returned to work after my father’s death, I saw further evidence of the kind of person you truly are, Morgana.” Morgana’s Chambers. Past. (Morgana enters her chambers, where Guinevere sits waiting. She goes to Morgana quickly.) Guinevere: “My Lady!” Morgana: “Guin. I didn’t expect to see you here.” Guinevere: “What happened to you?!” Morgana: “Nothing. Well, nothing a hot bath wouldn’t fix. (Guinevere sees the sores on Morgana’s arms where the manacles bit into her flesh:) I spent the night in the dungeon.” Guinevere: “Uther.” Morgana: “He doesn’t like to be challenged.” Guinevere: “It wasn’t about my father, was it?” Morgana: “You have enough to deal with without worrying about such things.” Guinevere: “You shouldn’t have done that! Not on my behalf. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t bear it.” Morgana: “You need to go home, Guin. Get some rest. Please.” Guinevere: “I’m fine, My Lady.” Morgana: “I insist. (Guinevere walks past Morgana with her head bowed, picking up a hair brush:) Guin? (Guin stops, her back to Morgana, trying not to cry:) Guin?” Guinevere: “I can’t go home!” Morgana: (Placing her hand on her shoulder:) “It’s understandable to feel so alone.” Guinevere: (Walks away:) “Tauren…” Morgana: “Tauren?!” Guinevere: “He attacked me. He threatened me. He was looking for some kind of stone.” Morgana: “Stone?” Guinevere: “He said if I didn’t bring it to him, he’d kill me. He’s waiting for me in the Darkling Woods. I have to do something. If I don’t get this stone to him by dawn tomorrow… (Morgana begins walking off purposefully:) What are you going to do? Morgana?!”

The Cauldron of Arianrhod. Present. (Taking Morgana’s hand, Guinevere begins leading her to the water’s edge.) Guinevere: “Morgana. My Morgana.” Morgana: “Your Morgana? I was never yours and never will be. You chose Arthur and now Lancelot.” Dolma: “You must reach her, Guinevere. Reach out or all is lost.” Morgana: (Glancing at the Dolma:) “Who’s this old crone?” Guinevere: “We loved each other once.” Morgana: (Tersely:) “You are easily fooled, Guin.” Guinevere: “And still do.” Morgana: “You were my handmaiden, nothing more.” Guinevere: “I don’t believe that.” (Morgana struggles to free herself from Guinevere’s grasp, but the Queen will not release her.) Morgana: “Believe what you like. The fact remains.” (Guinevere begins to pull Morgana towards the pool as she struggles.) Dolma: “No! It must be of her own will!” (Guinevere pulls Morgana close until they are face to face.) Guinevere: “Look at me. Tell me you don’t love me.” Morgana: “Let me go!” Dolma: “Guinevere!” Guinevere: “Do you remember when I asked you why you fought so fiercely to free me or stood up to your father on my behalf all those times? Do you remember what you said? You said that we were more than friends and that you loved me ‘With all of my heart.’ That’s what you said, Morgana. That was no subterfuge. No trickery. (Morgana stops struggling and stares at Guinevere:) With all my heart. (Guinevere walks slowly backwards towards the lake:) With all my heart.” (Morgana’s breath hitches as Guinevere steps into the lake.) Morgana: (Softly:) “With all my heart…” (Guinevere extends a hand to Morgana and she follows her towards the lake.) Guinevere: “Come.” (Morgana places her hand in Guinevere’s and steps into the water.) Dolma: “Yfel gaest, ga thu fram thisselichaman. Bith hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofonutungol sceal thurhswithan.” (The Dolma’s eyes glow golden and Morgana is surrounded by a brilliant white light. When the light dissipates, she turns to smile at Guinevere, extending her hand to her. Guinevere wades towards her and embraces Morgana. The Dolma smiles, exhaling in relief.)

(Stepping out to join Xena, Gabrielle watches the two women embrace in the water. Looking to Xena, they share a smile, surprised and invigorated by what they’ve just witnessed.) Morgana: (Parting from their hug, looks into Guinevere's eyes, softly:) "Thank you, Guin." (Guinevere gives her a teary smile and takes Morgana's hand, leading her out of the water towards shore.) Regina: (As they step out of the water:) "Here." (Regina waves her hand and both women disappear and reappear in a cloud of smoke, their clothes now completely dry. Morgana looks around at all that have gathered and is about to say something when she is knocked backwards through the air. Morgana is rendered unconscious by the impact of her fall.)

(Everyone turns to see Mordred lower his hand. Guinevere rushes to Morgana’s side and Emma and Regina prepare to use their magic against him when a voice rings out across the valley.) Xena: “Hey!” (Mordred turns his attention to her and is barely able to move out of the path of Xena’s weapon as it barrels towards him. Realising that he is outnumbered, Mordred vanishes while Xena catches her chakram.) A Short Time Later. (By the Cauldron of Arianrhod, Lancelot and Guinevere stand before the Dolma.) Guinevere: “I owe you a great debt. We both do. If there’s ever anything I can do in return…” Lancelot: “Perhaps a new dress?” Guinevere: (Outraged:) “Lancelot!” Lancelot: “Just a thought.” Dolma: (Looks down for a moment before answering:) “There is one thing.” Guinevere: “Name it.” Dolma: “Remember what saved your friend. Magic and sorcery.” Lancelot: “It was also sorcery that bewitched her.” Dolma: “There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men. My request is that you remember this.” Guinevere: “You have my word.” (The Dolma gives Guinevere a small smile, bowing her head slightly. They begin to walk away when the Dolma calls out.) Dolma: “Oh, and Lancelot? (Lancelot turns back:) Don’t be a stranger.” (She gives him a broad smile and a wave. Lancelot returns the smile uneasily and looks to Guinevere who is doing her very best not to laugh.)

[lavenderhyrdrangea]

Angel or Serpent

For the first time in his life, Zevran was ridiculously lucky. He had been spared a bloody fate and met a beguiling woman who offered him a hiatus from The Crows—She’d given him a second chance. Where was this sense of foreboding coming from then?

Ao3 link here or go continue to read below

Zevran had crows laying in wait for  a taste of his flesh, and a siren in hot pursuit of his beating heart. Of the two, the latter kept him up at night the most.  Her eyes playful yet her bearing strong-willed and hard-boiled, she was a force that never ceased. Every action she took was done so with purpose. For every question he asked she always had an answer. For every answer he gave she followed up with wave after wave of even more pressing questions. He tried to keep a steady footing around her but he failed each time.

Eventually he surrendered; he’d offered Ione the earring.

It was another evening  beneath the stars for their party, huddled around a flame for warmth, food and conversation. Sten and the witch tucked themselves in early. Shale didn’t sleep but sought out the solitude of a tent nonetheless. Wynne wanted to sleep,  however, her motherly nature had put her in charge of making sure Oghren didn’t finally impair his liver. Leliana and Alistair  were deep in a game of Wicked Grace and Ione watched for the bard’s tricky hand.

“Stealing from a babe should  surely give you some type of guilt,” she teased.

“Ah, now this is fascinating.  You feel sorry for the young fellow?  Toughen up. You’ll have to do a lot worse than pickpocket from a child’s coin purse if you intend to survive in house Arainai.”

Zevran always had to shove the distinct voice of Leonel, one of his mentors, back into a little box only for him to spring out, twisted grin upon his lips, like a child’s  crude toy. Made sense. He was a joking man until the end. He’d been extra loud since Kinloch Hold.

“A babe? Well, you’ve got to have a little more confidence in me than that. Only a moron would strike out in Wicked Grace.” Alistair said as  he gave his set of cards a thorough look over.

Leliana giggled. “See? No need to worry. Straight from the babe’s mouth himself. If it  makes you feel any better I don’t intend on keeping any coin I earn here. I’m petty not cruel.”

“Right, this babe—wait! Stop it you two. I’m a perfectly grown man.”

Ignoring her fussy fellow warden, she addressed Leliana once more. “ It would be better for you play our resident assassin. He offers more of a challenge.”

Their eyes were on him then.  He was  laid out on the  right side of his body,  head propped up on his  palm and  the aforementioned piece of jewelry hot in  the pouch on his left hip. His forefinger drummed along his thigh. While he had been waiting for her attention, this was not how he expected it to be given to him. The games could wait for another time.

“Ah, yes, but if I swoop in to serve as a distraction how will our dear babe ever learn how to play properly?

“You didn’t follow through. Should’ve known you wouldn’t. You are but a child yourself. A weak one at that.”

“Not. A. Babe.”

“I’m sure you are to someone,” Leliana commented much to Alistair’s discomfiture.

“He’ll manage. Why don’t you play a few rounds, Zev?” She stared at him as if she could will whatever  she thought he was hiding out from his head. “You look awful bored.”

“Not bored, no. Restless. Perhaps I can walk you back to your tent, my dear warden.”

“Walk me to my...“ She turned around to make sure her tent was in the same place she’d set it minutes ago. “ I don’t intend on getting Oghren levels of intoxicated this eve. Why would I need to be escorted to my tent? More importantly how would that help you with your restlessness? Is there something in my tent that you desire?”

Sudden failure to call upon his sliver tongue rendered him a hedging mess. “ You never know. You can waltz in, ready to lay your head upon your bed roll only to find a treacherous snake resting there instead. I only wish to see that your are protected.  Uh, that is only if you allow it.”

“Come come, where’s your nerve?  I hear you’re suppose to be good at this type of thing.”

Leliana’s lips spread into a slow grin. ���What is this? The mighty Zevran fumbling for words? You perform miracles not even the Maker is capable of my friend.”

Ione took this as sign of trouble and though she’d misread the situation he overflowed with thanks and an undying need to cling to her. She lead them away with the excuse  of needing to give him a dagger that  Leliana didn’t want.  On the way in he noticed that the healer had taken a break from watching over a blabbering Oghren to throw them an admonishing glare. She would get over it eventually.

“Are you well?” Ione asked once she sat him down on a bedroll. “You’re free to speak about whatever here.”

“Are you in trouble? That’s entirely up to you. Come, I would like to play a game of Wicked grace but with a little more fun. Let’s ask the young barmaid to join us.”

The close quarters intensified the delightful aroma of  the rosewater she used to sweeten her skin. Under normal circumstances, the scent would’ve drawn him to his knees, had him singing her praises and making promise after promise. Here, it only made him hyper aware of the weight of his words. One error would’ve caused him to sink. Or was that his nerves?

“Instead of betting something boring like gold, you’ll be betting your welfare. Five rounds. You’re options are to bet a game of Pinfinger, where you’ll lay your hand along the table and stab between your fingers in a rhythm like so. Or take the less unpredictable choice. Choose which part your least afraid of scaring and have at it. Obviously the losing hand is the one that follows through. If they get cold feet the winning hand does it for them.”

He opened the pouch and spoke of sentimentality and the dues he owed her. There had been no eager reaching for the earring on her part. Rather, with a tilt of her head she asked what it meant.

“You mean to ask what use it will provide? I’m sure it’s worth a small fortune. You may sell it if you like. Or  if you find it looks  beautiful on you—and I’m certain it will, my darling— wear it.”

“ You pay your debt with your blade and your time. Why give me your treasure? And why so out of the blue?” She tapped her temple. “There’s more going on in here.”

“There is one exception. If you’re able to achieve an Angel Suit Flush then all bets are off. No one has to be harmed. It doesn’t matter how many rounds deep your in. The winning hand is simply victorious.”

“To you, perhaps. There’s a need to repay you. Not just for sparing me and giving me brief respite from the Crows but for the boots and the gloves as well.”

She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned in close enough for her lips to brush against his, for her to ensnare  him yet again. Those carnelian eyes could convince him of anything.

“You let her win that round didn’t you? For what? What has she done for you that you would risk pain?”

“Give me more than your pretenses, Zevran.”

More, more, more. She was just being greedy, impossible even. Every other thing they came across in their travels was taken, no question asked, yet  his gift was met with suspicion. Perhaps in the back of her mind, she still believed he was out for her blood.

He  attempted a genuine laugh despite the angry twinge in his chest. “ Everything is a puzzle to be solved with you.”

Try as he might, Ione heard the bitter undertone. She whipped her head to the side  as if she’d been slapped but recovered and refixed her attention upon him. This time she cupped his face.

“This is our last real breather before we battle the Archdemon. If there’s something you mean to say you must say it now. There’s no guarantee that we’ll make it out alive.”

“Demonstrative gestures at the very last second are pointless; they will mean nothing.”

“You don’t believe that!” Realization settled over her features for a split second. Too loud. "You wouldn’t be trying to give me that earring if you did.” she hissed.

“ Tsk, tsk, tsk. You’re three and 0, boy. The game is about lies and deceit. What assassin do you know is incapable of lying?”

A sigh left his lips. She was a current pushing him further away from land.

“You say we are pressed for time, yes? Turn in for the night. Clear your mind. There are other things for you to focus on besides me, I am  certain...Do those.”

He moved to get up and then—

“—Zevran, I’m not long for this world.”

Her usually powerful voice nothing but caricature of itself, she told him everything that only been recently dumped upon her. Slaying the Archdemon required a warden sacrifice to prevent it’s essence from possessing another tainted creature. There was no way Ione would place Alistair on to the chopping block thus she stepped up instead. It was a small wonder this Duncan fellow hadn’t told her  all of this before she drank the Darkspawn blood.

Silence smothered all sound.  Every muscle in his body tensed.  This wasn’t true. It was just a card plucked from her sleeve to push him to confess to whatever inane thing she wanted.  It had to be. The special tenderness in her eyes told him otherwise. It chilled him to the bone.  

“I am sorry.” He rasped.

“For what?”

“Take your pick.”

Feeling as if the ground beneath him had begun to crumble, he escaped the tent before she could get a word in edgewise.  

In his own tent,  he laid, arms behind his head, and wondered whether her presence in his life was  some form of divine retribution. He lured in so many, played with their emotions and cut them down. Now, he was at the mercy of a woman who could make a gaping hole appear in his chest and not need to plunge her halberd in to do so.   It would be the perfect execution of poetic justice. But he had done what he did for the sake of a target. Duty. What was she doing it for? Cruelty? Even he wasn’t so cold.

“What good has your soft heart brought you? Nothing! You’re a mess. Cut deep. Bleeding everywhere.”

And yet that need to hold her came rising again.  The key to freedom from the inescapable pit within his mind was to have her in his arms and he in hers, it seemed. The ‘why’ was just something he  couldn’t place his finger on.

“You’re addicted to it aren’t you? Such a masochist.”

When he first met her, he expected  the tip of her halberd to pierce through his jaw. Instead, she spared his life and gave it purpose and even had done so for those around her and those they encountered.  This alarmed him. While he hadn’t wished it, he expected  her  to buckle under the pressure of  royal intrigue and Archdemon slaying heaped upon her shoulders. Rather than that, she persisted through tears and frustration and even had the nerve to burden herself with more. She didn’t need to seek out those Dalish gloves  for him but she did and that was frightening. She wasn’t purposely going out the way to harm—in fact she acted in the manner of someone who wished to avoid such a thing—yet that  made her all the more dangerous somehow.  Even now with death around the corner she chose  not to spend her night encapsulated by fear but by mingling with her companions and cajoling him to admit…  

“Having another being in charge of your fate is nauseating isn’t it? You could want one thing and they could want another. Life could push you in one direction and the other person in the opposite. You’ll never know until it’s too late. That hesitation you feel is your sense of self-preservation. Don’t mar yourself for such a simple woman. For someone who sees you as nothing more than some sorry assassin.”

Everything crashed over him like a wave.  The true fear wasn’t in that she wanted his heart. It was in that he would give it. He was a fool in love and in spite of her imminent demise he just wanted to be with her for as long a she’d have him.

“ Angel of Charity, Angel of Death, Angel of Fortitude, Angel of Temerity and Angel of Truth. You lucky dog.”

*                                                     *                                                              *

Like seeing someone’s heart broken into a thousand pieces? Don’t worry, I don’t judge. But you might be interested in my DC Comics story, Kandor, starring, Superman and an intruder in his Fortress of Solitude.

[fabelyn]

Heaven Official’s Blessing: Why Read

“By the Heaven Official’s Blessing, No Paths are Bound!”

Official Summary: 

Eight hundred years ago, Xie Lian was the Crown Prince of the Xian Le kingdom. He was loved by his citizens and was considered the darling of the world. He ascended to the Heavens at a young age; however, due to unfortunate circumstances, was quickly banished back to the mortal realm. Years later, he ascends again–only to be banished again a few minutes after his ascension.Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian ascends to the Heavens for the third time as the laughing stock among all three realms. On his first task as a god thrice ascended, he meets a mysterious demon who rules the ghosts and terrifies the Heavens, yet, unbeknownst to Xie Lian, this demon king has been paying attention to him for a very, very long time.

Some noteworthy comments: 

Main couple is MalexMale, no explicit content, fully translated (244 chapters), by the same author as Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. Major themes: fate, human nature, limits of goodness and tragic consequences of one’s actions.

My add-on commentary to the summary: 

It’s not really a BL romance with a side of plot, but plot with a side of romance which happens to be BL (will get back to that later). It’s set in a world where outstanding individuals with outstanding deeds can ascend and become Gods (aka “Heaven Officials”). MC was the pampered crown prince of a rich nation, and ascended early. However, tragedy after tragedy strikes: war breaks out, famine, plague. MC fails to protect his kingdom and for his attitude is banished...twice. His closest friends abandon him, his subjects turn from worship to hatred of him, his parents kill themselves. From pampered prince, MC becomes a forgotten nobody, begging for scraps and a joke to all in Heaven. 

After 800 years (yes 800, MC gains immortality after first ascension) roaming the mortal realm in this situation, he finally ascends once more, now humble and self-deprecating. Between his desire to help and need to repay debts, he takes on heavenly tasks in the mortal realm (banish malignant spirits, solve mysterious deaths etc). Each new tasks seems darker than the last, and he slowly unravels unexpected secrets from the Heavens. Surprisingly, during his journey he is joined by a demon king, known to be ruthless and so powerful even the Heavens fear him, yet this king seems to want nothing more than to aid MC...

While the official summary does not manage to showcase this as well as the summary of GDC did, this story can get dark. It changes from very lighthearted (people fainting from MC’s bad cooking) to very tragic (the torture and deaths already mentioned). It has a lot of lore as the MC deals with not only other gods, but evil spirits and mortals.

One outstanding thing from this work is that it gives depth and limelight to many of its side characters, and all plotpoints are neatly tied in the end. the length of it (244 chapters) helps give the plot enough time to go great details and depth through its mini arcs that all culminate to quite the grand finale.

If the plot of the author’s most famous work (GDC) had a focus on misunderstandings and prejudice, this plot is about fate and human nature: how goodness can fail, as well as how experiences may or may not change people. It’s an Epic spanning Gods, Demons, Kingdoms, and over thousands of years of history.

(For those who have read Discworld, it's fun to note that the Gods/Heaven Officials here follow a similar system: belief is power. How many believers a god has can impact their wealth, power and even the gender they appear as. And lack of followers may even lead to death.)

On the romance: 

As said before, I see this as a plot with a side of romance that happens to be BL. This because while everything around MC goes through drama and tragedy and angst, the romance...does not. The romance is not the plot, that is to say, the plot itself is not about MC and his love interest navigating their love for each other; fighting then finally ending together. On the contrary; it is MC and love interest navigating plot that has nothing to do with their feelings, while MC slowly becomes enamored. However, it’s not possible to say that the plot would go on without the romance, as their love and working together is integral to overcoming many huddles.

In this sense, if you want to go read drama about romance, watch as two people fight, clash, misunderstand and slowly accept their feelings... this isn’t quite it, Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation would be better. The romance is always there, but as a wholesome, sweet and mellow counterpoint to the suffering and darkness the plot metes out constantly (oh yes: the bizarre severity of angst MC goes through is not just pure coincidence). There will be no love triangles, no relationship-breaking misunderstandings etc. You may roll your eyes at MC being a little slow to figure feelings out, you might groan slightly at a silly misunderstanding, but neither actually harms their dynamic. I loved it, as it felt like a refreshing change from the usual BL romance and certainly a very needed levity all the bad luck haunting MC. Plus, my favorite couples are those that actually click without needing to insult and fight a lot.

Do note, and I fear I may be spoiling a bit here, it’s not that there isn’t angst and tragedy surrounding the romance, but that it is, in a way, “over”. You can only understanding by reading. You will hurt over the romance, yet already be relieved of that pain by the time the plot hands it to you.

Personalities: 

MC: in the present is a calm, self deprecating man. Humble but with a heart of gold, willing to sacrifice himself for others. 800 years ago, he had a golden heart but was impulsive, prideful. You will read the plot wringing those characteristics out of him, stab by stab through flashbacks. Also, MC has extreme bad luck. Dice he throws will always roll ones, but if he needs it to roll ones, they roll sixes. Lighting strikes where he goes, no shack he lives in lasts a month...

Love interest (hereon typed as “LI” for short). I fear giving too much away, but do feel who the love interest is is very clear early on so: If LI was the MC, he’d be a Gary Stu, but as the love interest he is so fun. Very powerful, very knowledgeable, very rich, very skilled. Demons bow to him, the heavens fear him, mortals even worship him. However, he cares for nothing, has no interest in helping anyone, is sarcastic and acerbic and ruthless. Except for with MC, which he treats on a golden platter, never harms even a strand of hair and will literally give everything to him (MC causes havoc in is domain then burns his armory down and LI doesn’t even frown)

Side characters: there’s quite a few, so despite there being noteworthy mentions I’d rather not make this longer. Let’s just say plot explores, using side characters, misogyny, prejudice, corruption, trauma, complicated morals, unfairness of fate, revenge etc

In fairness, some personal cons of this:

I dislike usage of too much capslock to demonstrate shouting, this does that. For people who are not used to eastern style writing, this might be a little different. It feels better than GDC, but there is a propensity for narration to explain things that might not feel good for some. And naturally, tons and tons of flashbacks as you start off at MC’s 3rd ascension but will eventually read in detail how his 1st and 2nd went, along with the banishments.

TL;DR: GO READ. 

Completed translations are up at novelupdates

An anime will be coming out this year (2020)

A manhua adaptation is ongoing

[kaelinaloveslomaris]

Whumptober 19: Asphyxiation

The forth and last part of the series that started with “Dragged Away.”

Vader rage murders everyone responsible for holding Luke captive in “Isolation” and gains an unexpected tagalong.

There’s some fairly graphic Murder in this one, FYI.

—

“It is too bad that there was a prison break. Everyone escaped, and there were no Imperial survivors.”

The commander’s face paled at Vader’s threat, and though Vader was not actively paying them any attention, he felt the current of fear pass through the rest of the Imperials in the room. He spared a thought to lock all the doors leading out of the detention wing of the facility.

“My - my Lord, please,” the commander begged.

Vader paused, not because of the coward’s pleading, though he enjoyed the momentary hope on his face in response, but rather because a thought occurred to him.

“Did he beg?” Vader asked.

“What?”

“Luke. Did he beg?”

“I’m… I’m sure he did. They all do.”

“Did you listen to him?”

The fear oozing from the commander spiked into a roiling storm as he grasped where Vader was going with this. Vader smiled grimly, relishing his panic.

“No, please! Lord Vader, would you have us release every Rebel that asks for it?” He was backing up, trying to put space between them, but Vader stalked forward after him until the commander hit the wall.

“Of course not. But if there is an important Rebel who is to be captured alive only, I expect them to be kept alive until I arrive to claim them. You are lucky he does not appear to have sustained any permanent damage.”

“Lucky?” he whispered, a spark of hope in his eyes. Vader crushed it.

“I would make your death ten times more painful had he died.” Vader reached out and wrapped his hand around the commander’s neck. It wasn’t often he physically strangled someone, but this man… he wanted to feel his throat collapse beneath his fingers.

His hands grasped at Vader’s, nails pressing into the leather of his gloves and scraping against the unyielding metal underneath. His eyes widened as he slowly suffocated, his body spasming as Vader starved it of oxygen. The Dark Side consumed his fear greedily, and Vader reveled in the rush of power it gave him.

Just as the life was almost drained out of him, Vader clenched his fist tighter, crushing his trachea and snapping his neck. The crunch of bone was satisfying.

Vader released him, watching as the body slumped to the floor. It wasn’t enough, and the Dark Side’s appetite was nowhere near sated.

He let the darkness in, let it bolster his rage as he drank in the fear permeating the room. Every one of the Imperials in the room had had a hand in mistreating his son. Every one of them was a legitimate target for his bloodlust. Vengeance was in his power to deliver, and he would repay Luke’s suffering.

He turned slowly to face the room. Everyone was watching him cautiously, hopeful that he had taken his displeasure out on their senior officer and would leave the rest of them alone, despite his earlier threat.

They would learn not to underestimate his rage.

~*~

When Vader finally extinguished his bloody blade, he and Luke were the only beings in the room still breathing.

The Dark Side was still singing in his veins. It had been a long time since he had indulged it so thoroughly, and he had forgotten how difficult it was to come down.

Vader looked at Luke, draped across the chair he had set him in, and didn’t dare to touch him. The darkness in his mind was whispering that his son was a weakness, a threat to his position as the Sith apprentice, and he would be better off without him. Vader would never forgive himself if, in a moment of carelessness, he hurt Luke.

Like you hurt his mother?

Vader growled at the unwelcome memory. The voice in his head sounded suspiciously like Palpatine, but the whisper had not come through their bond. He shook it away.

Needing a distraction to calm himself before he could trust himself in close proximity to Luke, he focused on the control console.

He downloaded a copy of the security footage from Luke’s cell, then traced his son’s footsteps back to the point where he and his team had been captured. He saved copies of everything involving his son, then scrubbed the data from the last few days. A quick error code, and all the cameras in the detention facility suffered catastrophic failure. It would still be obvious to anyone who examined the scene that it had not, in fact, been a prison break, but Vader was not too concerned about covering his tracks. There was only one person he needed to answer to, and he could only hope the Emperor would find the whole thing amusing, as he often did when Vader let himself fall into a murderous rage. As long as no one the Emperor had his eye on was caught up in the fallout. Vader doubted anyone here would have that dubious honor.

His eyes drifted to Luke again. He looked so peaceful, oblivious to the carnage around him that had been caused on his behalf. Unable to help himself any longer, he crossed the room to Luke. He reached for him without consciously deciding to, but stopped with his fingers just shy of his hair. He clenched his hand into a fist and pulled it back. There was still a slight current of rage coursing through him, beyond the normal level of background radiation of anger that he lived with.

He spun around and stalked back to the computer. There was one more part of his threat he had yet to carry out. He leaned over the console and keyed in the code to unlock all the cell doors.

Vader felt the confusion of the Rebel prisoners, and a few of them poked their heads out of the cell doors. Their eyes flew wide as they took in the state of the control room.

“You are all free to go. I have what I came for,” Vader said. It didn’t matter to him whether they ran or stayed here to rot. But he had told the commander that all the Rebels escaped, so he might as well give them the chance.

He went back to making sure the computers were wiped clean of any evidence that Luke was his son and tried his best to ignore the Rebels. None of them would be foolish enough to attack him, and even if they did, the Force would warn him.

“Luke!”

Vader turned at the shout of his son’s name to see Antilles rushing towards Luke. Vader stepped between them, cutting him off. He hadn’t gotten this close just to have another irritating Rebel spirit his son away.

“Let him go!” Antilles snarled. Vader was startled by the utter lack of expressed fear. There was a little bit tainting the Force around the pilot, but it was not for himself and it was eclipsed by his concern for Luke.

“I think not.” He turned his back on Antilles to scoop Luke up in his arms again. His child was still soundly asleep, and would be for hours yet, Vader guessed. It hadn’t taken much to put him under, but the Force compulsion he had laid on him was strong. Vader wanted him fully settled into his quarters before he woke.

Some of Antilles’s fear broke through onto his face when Vader turned around again and he caught sight of Luke limp in his arms.

“What did you do to him?” Antilles reached for Luke, and Vader took a step back, pulling Luke away from him. Antilles frowned.

“I did nothing. And what was done to him shall be rectified.”

Antilles’s eyes wandered around the body-strewn room, his brows furrowing in confusion. His gaze snapped back to Luke cradled in Vader’s arms.

“You did this because of Luke? Because of what they did to him? Why?”

“He is not to be harmed.”

Antilles snorted. “Like you’re not just going to take him back to your ship and torture him yourself for destroying your precious Death Star.”

Vader bristled. “I will not lay a finger on him. And his ability to take that shot should be commended, not condemned. No harm will befall him in my custody.”

“You can say whatever you like, but it’s not like I’ll believe you. You haven’t spent the last few years hunting him down just to keep him locked up on your Star Destroyer like a pet,” Antilles spat.

Vader focused on his son’s negligible weight in his arms to keep from lashing out. He knew that if he harmed his son’s friend, Luke would find out somehow. That was the last thing he needed.

“Believe me or not, it makes no difference. He is mine, and he will be well treated.”

“I want proof.”

“What?” Did the Rebel have no fear? Or was his loyalty to Luke just so strong that it overrode any sense of self-preservation? That kind of loyalty could be useful. An idea started to form in the back of his mind.

“I won’t believe you unless I see it with my own eyes that you mean my commander no harm.”

“Are you offering to come with him?” Vader let a dangerous edge creep into his tone. It might also not be a bad idea to have a familiar face around when Luke woke up, though he felt the stirrings of a long-dead jealousy at the thought.

Yes, he would take Antilles with him too.

Antilles blanched and took a step back. Then his gaze flickered to Luke again. He groaned.

“I am so going to regret this,” he muttered. “Lead the way.”

[chchanging]

This isn’t the one I talked about writing-- that’s still a wip--but this is the one that comes before it so yay more content

Mc: Rossi Mayhew, Queen of Big Dumbass Energy 

Rossi knows Jax’s hand is pressed against her back, but she doesn’t feel it. She knows the others are offering Lily their final goodbyes, but she doesn’t hear them.

There’s an aching chasm deep in her chest and as much as it hurts, focusing on it helps her block out their words. It helps her shut out the world in which Lily is no longer present. It’s not a world she’s sure she can live in—certainly not one she wants to.

Lily hadn’t just been her friend—she’d been her sister. Finding her wounded and bleeding out on their apartment floor had remained the worst feeling Rossi had ever experienced. The fear, the helplessness. Her only hope had been Adrian, and the blood that ran through his veins. The only thing that could’ve saved her. The waiting, the worrying, had been the worst thing she’d ever had to do.

The worst...until now.

There is no hope now; no coming back from the dead a second time. Rossi’s heart cries out for its other half once more, and now it always will. The only thing she can do is retreat into herself and hope when she comes to everything will have blown over.

“—ossi...Rossi!”

Jax’s gentle voice eases her back into reality. Everyone is looking at her. It seems they have all said their piece. It is her turn.

“You were closer to her than any of us could’ve hoped to be...would you like to say some words?”

Rossi lets herself meet Kamilah’s eyes. She realizes that tears are streaming down her cheeks, even though her breathing is even and no sobs accompany them like one might expect. It’s like her body mourns even when her mind is numb—a passive act that she truly has no power over.

“What does it matter?” She asks softly, voice clear. “What could I say? She isn’t here to hear it.”

“Rossi...” Jax murmurs again.

“I can’t...” she whispers, eyes falling closed as she attempts to stop the flow for at least a moment. Just a tiny reprieve. “I just...I can’t right now. If I try—“

She almost chokes on her words, and takes it as a sign to stop while she’s ahead. Kamilah nods solemnly, understanding.

“We won’t force you,” She reassures, with a single hand reaching to squeeze the young woman’s shoulder. “She would understand.”

Rossi presses a palm to her lips, squeezing her eyes tight as she fights for composure. With a nod, she breathes a shuddering breath. Jax takes her free hand and squeezes it, and she returns the gesture gratefully.

When she opens her eyes again, they are wet but no more tears fall. She clears her throat.

“There’s still one more thing left to do, and then we can all rest.” Adrian assures her softly. Everyone turns to the entrance of the ruins, their eyes coming to rest on a lone figure who hangs a good ways back.

Gaius looks mournful, truly, and when his eyes meet Rossi’s she can see that there is something he wishes to say.

“What happens now?” She wonders aloud.

“We discussed it.” Kamilah replies, eyes still locked on Gaius. “We think you should be the one to have the final say.”

“Me?” Rossi turns to look at her incredulously.

“You know where Jax and I stand.” She gives a little humorless smirk. “Adrian, however...”

“Many have died tonight.” Adrian continues for her, drawing Rossi’s attention to himself again. “It might have been unavoidable, but...well, I tell myself that they meant to do harm. Once, I would’ve said the same of Gaius.”

“But, now?” Rossi prompts.

“Now, I’m not so sure...” He frowns thoughtfully, gazing off into the distance. “I think I would be...willing to see what the future holds. But I can’t be the only one to feel that way. We’ve decided to trust your judgement. Kamilah and I may know who Gaius was, but, Rossi, you’ve been inside his mind. I think you know better than anyone what should be done with him.”

Rossi feels her chest swell.

After everything that had gone down, tonight—it meant the world to know they still trusted her.

And Adrian was right. She knows what she has to do.

Slowly, almost tentatively, her feet carry her across the room and to his side. Gaius tracks her every movement with his gaze, intense as ever. She feels the familiar tingle it sends through her. It should unsettle her, how he always studies her so closely. She wonders absently why it never has.

His eyes linger on the tear-tracks she’d neglected to wipe away.

“I had hoped the circumstances would be a touch more favorable.” He speaks lowly, sincerely. “I am...truly sorry about your friend. If I had moved faster...if I hadn’t let Rheya get the best of me...”

Surprising both of them, she reaches out to take one of his hands in her own.

“There’s only one person I blame for this, and he’s already dead.”

His skin is soft and warm against her own. She feels his thumb glide fleetingly over her knuckles.

“Lula’s okay because of you.” She adds softly, “I can’t thank you for that enough.”

Slowly, almost reluctantly, his hand falls from hers. “It isn’t much compared to all The harm I’ve done. But I’m glad.” He tacks it on the end like an afterthought, and she finds herself almost smiling when he looks off to the side.

“One of these days you’ll learn to just say ‘you’re welcome’.”

His lips twitch upward, but the smile fades fast. They stand in heavy silence. Everyone is waiting for her to pass judgment. Everyone wants to know what punishment she feels befits his crimes.

“You better, like...write my a postcard or something from wherever it is you go after this, Y’know.” She reaches out and makes a show of straightening that terrible cape of his, ignoring the look of surprise on his face. “If you drop off the face of the earth after all this I’mma be pissed.”

Gaius blinks. Once, then twice, then three times for good measure.

His eyes flick back towards the group of friends she’d left behind, gauging their reactions, visibly wondering if they’d really let him walk out of here just because she said so. He breathes a shuddering sigh, somewhere close to a laugh but not quite.

“Are you a touch insane?”

Even with the gaping hole in her chest still fresh, she finds it in her to give him a wide, genuine smile.

“Jury’s still out.”

Swallowing hard, Gaius watches her as if waiting for her to change her mind. When she doesn’t, there’s a strange look deep in his eyes. Like she’s given him a gift he couldn’t possibly repay.

“There’s not a chance in hell I deserve this.” Is all he says.

“Yeah, well, ‘deserve’ is a shitty word people throw around when they want to justify how they treat someone. If you don’t think you deserve a second chance,” She steps closer, almost challengingly, “then go out there and work on becoming someone who does. You do more good making up for what you’ve done than as a pile of ashes. Fuck what you ‘deserve’.”

For a moment, he drops his head and stares at the ground. He’s contemplating what she said, but there’s something in the way he does it that makes it seem almost as if he is bowing it in respect. When he looks up again, his eyes are clearer than she’s ever seen them and they sparkle with amusement. He’s smiling ever-so slightly.

“Eloquent as ever.”

“I do my best.”

He gives her one last meaningful look before turning away. Towards Kamilah.

“You said back in Japan...that one good deed doesn’t undo all the horror I’ve caused.” He pauses, jaw working. “How many do you think it would take...to call me friend.”

For a long time, she doesn’t say anything. She stands, impassive, with a hand on her hip, and gazes at him like a goddess passing judgment. Her face doesn’t change when she speaks—save for a nearly microscopic quirk of her painted lips, and the even less noticeable softening of her eyes. “Find me again in a thousand years. We’ll talk about it then.”

The tension Gaius wears like armor slowly seeps out of his shoulders. He chuckles, lowly, under his breath. “A thousand years,” He says in an easy tone, “I suppose I can give that a try.”

Jax steps forward before anyone can say anything else. His eyes are hard as stone, jaw set. “You saved Lula—I won’t forget that.” They lock eyes and Gaius waits as if he knows what comes next. “That being said: make sure we never cross paths again.”

“With pleasure.”

They nod once, in understanding.

Jax turns to leave, then, with his back straight and his eyes ahead. When he passes Rossi, he makes sure to give her shoulder one last squeeze. She smiles sadly after him.

Adrian clears his throat. This seems difficult for him—for a moment Rossi can see how deep his regret runs. How much he wishes things could be different. “I’ll take it upon myself to scour the edges of the world for you if necessary.” He says, tone dutiful, but there’s a pleading look deeper in his eyes. “See that it doesn’t come to that.”

Gaius’ lips twitch upward, only for a moment, before he nods. “You have my word.”

There’s a moment of stillness, of heavy silence. The goodbye doesn’t require a verbal acknowledgment. Rossi looks on as Gaius exchanges looks with the two of them for what she’s sure is the last time for a very long while.

He looks...proud.

And then he turns, taking one deep breath before looking at her once more.

She wants to say something, but she isn’t sure what. Thinking back to that night on the boat—the way he’d made her stomach flutter strangely—it wouldn’t feel right to leave him with nothing. She opens her mouth, but no words come. So she closes it.

It shouldn’t be this hard, she tells herself.

He watches the uncertainty ripple across her face and a tenderness catches hold of him. It’s something he hasn’t felt in quite some time.

“Don’t forget about me, out there.”

It seems with those words she has even surprised herself. She gives an awkward little smile and casts her eyes downward.

“I doubt there’s anyone in the world who has forgotten meeting you.” He chuckles. And then he steps forward...and brushes his lips against her forehead. “I don’t take this lightly. I’ll do you proud.”

He’d thought so little of her when they’d first met. Just some air headed tart his progeny had grown too attached to. Strange, now, to realize she’d become something of a guiding light.

Rossi, struck speechless for perhaps the first time in her life, flounders for something clever to say and comes up blank.

A bit of payback for a night he won’t soon forget, he thinks, and strides towards the door.

He doesn’t see the tear that rolls down her cheek as she watches him leave, but maybe that’s for the best.