#so he says the lines he normally uses for other girls to sam

[sounknownvoid]

bahahaha!!! 😆 🤣 😂

Dean, attempting to show hes in love with sam without saying hes in love with sam: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Sam: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

[castiwls]

the black dog - d.w

Paring; dean x reader

Prompt; 'And so I watch as you walk, into some bar called The Black Dog And pierce new holes in my heart'

Requested; anon

Notes; I LOVE this song sm words cannot describe.

Masterlist | Taylor Swift masterlist

You’d never been a jealous person. It was something you’d prided yourself on for so long, yet now you were starting to doubt your ability to keep calm in certain situations. 

The bar was relatively empty as you quietly nursed your drink. Sam had long since fallen into his own little world as he researched whatever new case he had found while you were left to entertain yourself. 

Normally you'd have Dean dragging you off to do god knows what yet it seemed he’d found someone else to annoy. The sound of laughter made your grip tighten on your cup as you stared at the glass bottles lining the walls of the bar. Focusing on an old-looking bottle of whiskey you slowly traced the label, pushing aside the jealousy which seemed to run your blood cold.

“Hey. You're gonna burn a hole through that bottle if you keep glaring at it.” Sam nudged your shoulder with a small smile as he looked up from his laptop. You hummed turning to face him, your back now fully turned to the source of your annoyance.

You took another sip of your drink, glancing down at Sam’s notes - oblivious to his sudden confusion. He watched you for a moment longer before looking over your shoulder. Dean was leaning against the end of the counter and caught up in a discussion with Jo. He strained for a moment trying to make out what they were talking about - he was pretty sure it was hunting. That was all they really seemed to talk about.

He looked back to where you had now closed his notebook, noting your tense shoulder as you finished your drink. “You know you don't have anything to worry about?” He raised an eyebrow.

You looked up from your drink. “I’m fine Sam.” 

Sam shook his head saying your name quietly. “You look like you're trying to blow up the bar with your eyes alone.” He squeezed your arm. “He’s just happy to meet someone who has the same interests as him. He’ll get over it.” He smiled before stretching and quietly excusing himself. 

You watched him go with a small wave before turning back to your now empty glass. You glanced over ever so often, your heart squeezing slightly as you watched them. You knew you had no right to be jealous. Dean wasn’t yours, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was allowed to talk to other girls - hell he could flirt with them - but it still didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

You’d both been so close for so long that you’d grown so used to his constant attention and to have it yanked away left you reeling almost.

“You're thinking again.” A poke to your shoulder. “We’re in a bar you're not meant to have deep thoughts.” Dean slipped into the chair previously occupied by Sam, a lopsided grin on his face.

“Where’s Sammy?” He flipped through the notebook for a moment before turning his body to you. His leg brushed yours, taking place on your stool's footrest. The touch sent a small rush through you as he looked around for a moment. “I think he went for a walk.” You nodded.

Dean hummed turning back to you. “Want another?” he gestured to the glass before pulling it from your hand. You shook your head watching as he pushed the glass away slightly. His fingers intertwined with yours as he leaned slightly closer. “You're being awfully quiet.” 

“I’m tired. A lot’s happened.” You pursed your lips as your eyes found his. He grinned, the same one which made your heart swoon. “You wanna go back?” He squeezed your hand. “Sam won't mind.”

A small look of concern passed through his eyes as he studied your face for a moment. Not noticing any major signs of exhaustion he relaxed slightly. You smiled. “I'm fine Dean.” 

He nodded before blowing out a breath. He cast a look behind him, and his other hand made a small gesture. You caught the movement from the corner of your eye turning to see who he was talking to. 

That rush of jealousy seemed to return as you spotted Jo only a few feet away. You narrowed your eyes noticing something grasped behind her back. Turning back to Dean he had taken to rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. “How dead am I if Ellen finds out I agreed to help Jo with her shooting.”

You tensed but quickly relaxed your hand, sucking in a breath through your teeth. “Remember what my dad did when he caught you sitting on my bed.” A small smile played on your lips at the memory.

It had been completely innocent. You’d both been 15 at the time, and your crush only starting to bubble. Dean had agreed to come with you to get some things from the town and had been sitting on your bed while you’d been getting changed. Your dad picked that moment to ask if you could also pick up a package for him and had almost seen red when he’d found Dean in your room.

You were pretty sure you saw actual fear in the older Winchester's eyes that day as your dad had chased him out.

Dean nodded. 

“Worse.” You smiled. “She doesn’t want her in this life Dean, you need to respect that.” 

He sighed. “I know but…It doesn’t hurt making sure she can protect herself.” He brushed his foot against your calf. “Cover for us? Ellen likes you.”

Your face dropped slightly. Truthfully the idea of them being alone sent you spiraling almost, especially the image of him helping her, his arms wrapped around her as he-

You pushed the image away taking a breath. Dean watched you, sensing your internal conflict but for the wrong reason. He brushed his other hand across your cheek. “I’ll make it up to you later, I promise.” He thought for a moment. “I’ll take you to that dinner you like. Hell, I’ll pay.”

That managed to pull a small laugh from you. “You’ll pay with your fake credit cards? What a gentleman.” Dean rolled his eyes nudging your foot with his. “Shut up. You are ungrateful you know that right? I’m offering you free food here.” 

“Okay. I’ll cover for you but don't be too long.” 

You left it at that, not adding on how you simply didn't want him to be around her for too long. You weren’t stupid, you saw the stary-eyed look she had whenever he was close to her. Hell, you’d been a victim of the same charm.

He squeezed your hand one last time before pulling away. “Thanks, Sweetheart.” His lips pressed to your head for a moment, nothing more than a platonic gesture (You really wished it was more) before he made his way over, a small smile sent over his shoulder as you watched them go.

Turning back to the bar you placed your head into your hands. Your heart was crumbling for a man you weren't even with. You knew it was stupid, you and Dean had only ever been friends - only ever would be friends. Yet the last few months things had changed. He’d changed.

Passing glances had become longer, touches more deliberate.

Yet deep down you knew it was only your overthinking placing meaning behind his actions. Your heart continued to want more and that wanting only led to it being broken over and over again.

[deepestnightcolor]

First of all, I love the way you write it always helps me picture in my brain the scene so thanks for that~

I'll stop being mushy now hehe

I've been having thoughts about the fem!farmer having a profile on a site to look for hookups before moving to Pelican Town and forgetting about how she used to have spicy texts with Sam just to accidentally meeting him on the streets of her new town while going on a stroll 😏 hehe

Anyways! Have an amazing day!!!

ᴀ/ɴ: IT MIGHT BE FINALS SEASON FOR ME (please, end me) BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME FROM KEEPING YOU ALL FED IN ADDITION TO THE OTHER GLORIOUS MEALS YOU MAY CONSUME HERE. Thank you so much for the praise, lovely, it means THE WORLD. I hope you forgive me that I gave this story a little twist, and that you enjoy nonetheless!

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x fem!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 3789 words

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: sexting, dirty talk, praising, unprotected sex, slobber, pierced dick (I said it and I will say it again, fight me), mutual pining, you are being pounded~, cream pie.

☾ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ☽

Sometimes you still read them. Read them when you were touching yourself beneath the sheets of your bed, read them when you wanted to get in the mood. Sometimes you still read them when you needed a little inspiration, but it was a fact that you still read them.

Normally, you deleted every conversation you had had on that website. But the ones with him had been so… entirely different. It wasn’t like you had been looking for something when you signed up on a site that promised quick, anonymous chats. Chats that could be easily discarded and forgotten. Messages that had one purpose; to still the one’s lust and then move on. To put it simply, a website that promised horny people to meet other horny people, whether it stayed digital or became real was none of their business.

You had never wanted any of this to become real – you were happy to play around with someone and be played around with when you laid in bed, all bored and horny. You were satisfied by being told how good you would be railed, happy with empty promises of being treated like a goddess. Comfortable with sharing some pictures – of course well-placed pictures, hiding details that would enable being recognized, never showing your face. At least you had been happy with building castles in the air until you had met him.

You had stumbled across him in one of the forums, a man showing off his upper body with a sense of pride radiating from his posture alone. He had accompanied the image with a simple line of text: “I am missing my muse.” Usually, you would have rolled your eyes and scrolled past in search of something spicier, dirtier. But something about him had made you click faster on that username than you would have ever liked to admit, sliding into the chat with him with a sense of despair in your chest: >If you treat me well, I could be your next muse.<

Your text had started a message of the sexiest texts you had ever received, and you didn’t even fucking know why. “SkAterdreaM” just seemed to know how to press your buttons. Guiding you to touch yourself with such a sense of precision, praising you just right. >That’s a pretty girl…Are those thighs twitching just for me? Yoba, Id love to kiss them, fuck you right until they are shaking because that’s what you deserve. Deserve to cum over and over again. Come on pretty baby, lemme hear those moans< >You make me so hard, fuck. I am drooling for you< But not only that – he added those videos. Fuck, those videos. You were pretty sure he had always put on a show for you with how he squeezed his cock, milked the pre-cum right out of himself. With how he let out these quivering, shaky gasps, moaning praise right into the microphone. “Look at what you are doing to me, princess- ah, fuck~ I wish you were here with me, gorgeous... I’d let you ride me right now, bounce on my cock… Are you touchin’ yourself for me, sweet girl? Rub that clit for me, yeah? Slooowly, I want you to go slow, just like this- you are going to be good for me, aren’t you?” Reacting perfectly to the videos you were sending him, picking up on little details not even you had been aware of. >Look at those pretty lips, all bitten-up... Feelin so good, baby? You make me wanna kiss em all better, gorgeous< Making you feel seen, heard, and appreciated. And the worst of it all? He wasn’t even there with you.

In all honesty, you had rarely ever come as hard as you had that night, and you hadn’t been able to find anything like that chat on that website since that night. And you had really tried. Texting men and women alike, talking to them, desperate to replicate what you had had with SkAterdreaM, but you always ended up disappointed, always ended up in that chat again and you always ended up disappointed when that last message smiled at you. >You were the prettiest muse I could ever possibly find.<

And damn how you wanted to find SkAterdreaM. Even now that you lived in Pelican Town did you sometimes read that chat, in hopes that the green button next to his name would indicate him being online, would allow you the chance to talk to him again, but you were always denied. It felt like Yoba had given you a gift, just to take it away from you again, leaving you in the bliss of it all and grieving the loss of it. How could life be so cruel?

You had tried to coax him back online, too. Sending pictures, all too pretty pictures. Of you in lingerie, which, you had to shamefully admit, were bought with him in the back of your mind. Of you cupping those pretty tits he had praised the whole night. Of you posing for him. But nothing. SkAterdreaM stayed offline.

But then, one day, you heard it. That voice. It immediately sent your body into a state of tingling sensations, skin burning up, heart pounding. You knew that voice. It sounded a lot less shaky and a lot less raunchy, but you knew that voice. Fuck. Were you going crazy? Had your insatiable need to meet that random-ass man again manifested into a psychosis? Maybe you should visit the town’s doctor, but what would you say? “Hey, I had a really great online sexting session, and now I hear the dude’s voice in real life, please help”? Maybe someone just had a- “Stop it, Seb, or I will kick you in the fucking nuts,” the voice laughed, sending a shudder rippling down your spine. You couldn’t believe it, yet there he was. The source of the voice was making his way toward you – well, more likely toward the saloon behind you, but fuck it – laughing with a man walking next to him.

“Oh! Hi, you must be the new farmer,” he smiled once he noticed you, and you were pretty sure you were just about to topple over, lip quivering. Could this really be? Could you have moved into the same town this online phantom was living in by accident? Was someone playing a cruel joke on you? Nevertheless, you were staring. Staring hard. What were words again, and how did you use them?

“Hi, I-“ -met you on a website for sex and fuck, I missed you. Before your tongue could release the word vomit onto the poor blond you snapped shut your jaw, trying to cover your tracks with an awkward smile. However, something in his face had shifted. A hint of recognition in those blue eyes – Yoba, he was handsome -, but they were definitely flooded with disbelief. A knock in his ribs coming from the man next to him made him stutter back into motion.

“Sam,” he choked out, mirroring that awkward smile on your lips. You gripped his offered hand, your breath hitching into your throat, making it near impossible to breathe out your own name.

“You remind me of someone,” he suddenly started out, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, “a muse I met a while ago.” “What the fuck, Sam? Leave the poor girl alone,” the dark-haired man – Seb? – laughed, clearing his throat awkwardly. Little did he know that Sam had said just the right thing. “No worries, you remind me of a dream I had,” you shot back, making a small grin appear on his pink lips. “I will see you around then? I have made a few promises.” “Definitely.”

The way your lips crashed together could only be described as heavenly. Sam hadn’t even really taken the time to close the door behind himself before he had already wrapped you up in an embrace, fingers running through your hair before gently cradling your head. You couldn’t help yourself but moan into the gentle suckle of his lips, your body melting into him like it knew where it belonged. “Fuck, I thought I would never find you again,” he breathed, leaving your lips only for a second to gently nip at your jaw before going right back to your lips. His tongue lapped at the fat of your lower lip, greedily pushing past your teeth to lick over yours, his hands now wandering down your back. The feeling of being desired cursed through you just as much as the feeling of desiring him, your own hands wandering beneath the white shirt he was wearing to feel the smooth skin of his toned stomach. “Same,” you gasped out as he pulled away just enough to let you breathe, “I kept texting you,” you stammered, your lips kissing along his neck, savouring that breathless groan that left his already swelling lips, “but you never replied.” “I lost all access to that account,” he breathed back, his own hands now slipping beneath your shirt, small moan escaping him as they engulfed your tits, “fuck, baby. They feel just as pretty as they looked.” Yoba, he loved that giggle that left you. He had loved everything about your encounters. The way you had reacted to him, the way that you had moaned for him. The way you had begged for more, even though he just couldn’t give you what he had wanted – which had been everything. He had absolutely loved your voice cracking, the way you bit your lip as your hips bucked. The way your thighs quivered. It had been burnt into his mind, lending him a hand whenever he fucked his fist. It should have embarrassed him – an online encounter absolutely possessing his mind, but it didn’t. He had cursed heaven and hell when he had realized that he had lost access to that fucking account, and thus to you. “Believe me, I tried to get back into it,” he sighed, big hands squeezing the flesh in his hand, pierced tongue licking along your throat, just to ease the following blow of his teeth sinking into your pretty skin, “but I couldn’t for the life of me.” And really – he had tried. Even asked Sebastian if he could regain the access he had lost, even though it had set him up for a lifetime of mockery. Your answer was a mere whimper, one that made his pants way too fucking tight. He had never been this hard ever since that night, but now- now he could touch you.

“Pretty princess,” he sighed, hips rutting into you almost automatically. Yoba, feeling you after dreaming about you for so long – it made him feel like he could come right now, like he could cream his pants just because he felt your hands wander down his back, nails scratching along him ever so slightly. Yoba, he needed you.

Even though it physically pained him to pull his hands away from your nipples, he did. Just in favour of pulling down the fabric of your pants. He needed to see you. All bare, just for him. His breath hitched when he saw your panties, adorning your pubic mound in a way not even the most skilled artist could have painted. His whole body quivered as his long fingers reached out for you, brushing the calloused pad along the still clothed skin. He could hear the slight thump of your head falling against the wall behind you as you took in a shaky breath, and he wanted to cry tears of joy. He could have you now, all for himself. The realization made every ounce of patience he had promised himself to have evaporate, instead his fingers curled into the fabric, giving the thin layer of clothing a good tug. “So wet for me already, princess?” he all but cooed, holding your underwear up to your face, a wet spot beaming right at you. “Shut up,” you laughed, albeit a lot more breathless than you had been at the beginning of this, running your hands down his body. “You are not much better, SkaterDream.” Sam’s hips almost involuntarily bucked forward when your fingers brushed along the outline of his erection, eyes rolled back in his skull. Why did your fingers feel so much better than his whole fucking fist? Shit, you had ruined masturbation for him – but he just couldn’t be mad at you. No way, not when you looked up at him like this, doe eyes glazed over with lust, lips puffy from the rough, hungry kisses the two of you had shared.

Just looking at you made his balls pull tight, red tip of his dick drooling pre-cum into the black of his boxers. You were right, he wasn’t much better. His eyes drifted shut as you fisted at his poor dick now, making it cry for release from its restraints. “You are so beautiful; you know that darling? So damn beautiful,” he sighed, allowing your hands to unbuckle his belt with a clinking noise, his own working to slide your shirt above your head. Normally, he would have brought you upstairs, laid you on the bed before he would have taken his sweet times, but right now, he felt like he was starving right in front of a meal. He struggled out of his pants while he pushed up your bra, lips latching on your sweet nipple, letting the moan that left your sinful lips go through his whole system, savouring the way his dick twitched. “That’s right, baby, moan for me,” he coaxed, flicking a finger against your clit. Just lightly, to gauge your reaction. And oh, did you deliver. Your hips bucked forward almost immediately, back arched in in an attempt to get closer, to get more, more, more. Your eyes were half-lidded now, your cleavage flushed, as your lips mouthed wordless begs. How could Sam resist?

He couldn’t. His boxers pooled around his ankles just to be kicked away, pierced dick meeting his stomach with a wet smack. The moan that came from you upon revealing his girth almost sent him toppling over, legs shaking slightly as he slid it between your folds. “What is it, baby? Do you like my dick? Is it good enough for your pretty pussy?” His hips rocked back and forward now, coating his perverted shaft in your slick, eyes never leaving your face as he awaited your response. The nod you gave was small, but the look in your eyes was enough to make him drool. Tears welled in them, just about to slip down those flushed cheeks, so full of desire and despair that he felt like they were mirroring his soul. When the pierced tip caught your twitchy hole, both of you gasped out loud, making Sam’s hips work faster, bumping against your entrance over and over. He adored the wet sounds the two of you created, the way you moaned in his ear, and oh Yoba, how you bit those pretty lips again. He just had to – had to kiss them better, had to aim for your clit, had to please you.  “Sam,” you suddenly gasped, making his head snap up, taking his focus away from how pretty your pussy looked with his dick teasing it. “Yes, baby? What do you want? Tell me, princess.” “Fuck- Sam, please- fuck me,” you mewled, head again bumping into the wall. Another fat glob of pre-cum leaked out of him, and he was pretty sure he had sold his soul to the devil – how else could this be true? But you were his muse, his pretty, pretty princess, that made his balls hurt so good, so if he had actually sold his soul, he would have done it all over again.

“Do you need me, baby? Want my dick to ruin your sweet little cunt? Yeah? That’s what you want?” Another bump against your clit, another tease at your hole, and yet another glob of pre-cum coating your folds. “Yes, Sam! Fuck, PLEASE.”

That had definitely done it for him. Greedy tip lining up with your drooling hole, his eyes searched your face once more before he pushed forward. Feeling your drenched walls wrap around him, Yoba, he wanted to weep. His dick surely did. You were so beautifully wet around him, greeting him with a squelching sound as your walls stretched around him. If his brain had been working until now, it most definitely had short-circuited at right this moment and had left his mouth hanging open, spit dribbling down his tongue and on your gorgeous tits. You weren’t in much better shape – Sam was big. Girth stretching you absolutely thin, making you feel like you were going to rip in half, but fuck, did it feel good. His pierced tip bumped against your walls, and you could feel him pulse inside of you with each push forward.

“Y..you..you okay?” he whispered as he was about halfway in, nodding at the small nod you gave him. “Doin’ so good for me, baby. So good. Fuck, you feel so good. Better than I could have ever imagined, babe,” he babbled, strings of spit landing on your skin with almost every word. “Sweet, sweet girl. Taking in my dick like a perfect little slut, I am gonna move again now, ‘kay? Gonna take all of me, princess?”

You didn’t have any other option than nod – it felt like with Sam’s dick entering you, all the words you had ever learned had left you. Not that you minded, what he gave you was so much better. He fucked his dick further into you, moaning your name in the most strained, beautiful way as he bottomed out. “Good fucking- Good girl, so good for me. Don’t deserve you, darling,” he yapped, beginning with a slow and steady pace. That didn’t last long, though. Your moans were just so beautiful, you see? Sam really did try, though! Really tried to keep slow and go easy on you, but there was just no way to do so when you sounded like this, when you scratched your fingers down his back like this. When you whimpered and bucked into him like this – no, he just couldn’t.

He fucked into you like you deserved, like you had always dreamed of. Giving you quick and hard thrusts that reached deep, tip bullying into you mercilessly. Sam wasn’t able to get enough from seeing you like this, with your mouth either hanging open or closed as you bit your lip, seeing you being ruined by his dick while your tits bounced for him – it just was so delicious. “Fuck, baby. You are suckin’ me off, does it feel good? Do ya like my dick pounding that cunt? Do ya like how I make you mine? Tell me, love. Use your words.” His fingers wrapped around your chin, making you look at him as he thrusted at a rough pace, keeping eye contact as your pussy squelched for his throbbing dick. You smacked your lips together, once, then twice, trying to answer these simple questions, but it was just so hard when it felt like the ability to speak was hogtied by the feeling of your building orgasm. “Can’t hear you, sweets. But look at you, bitin’ your lip again, ya love this, dontcha?” He cooed, licking along your throat, down your cleavage, just to lap and nip at your nipple while his thumb rolled over the other. “Still, I wanna hear you, let me hear those words, c’mon. I know you can do it.” Just to underline his words, he gave you an especially hard thrust, making you gasp out his name, followed by a babbled string of “yes”’s. “That’s it, love. That’s it. Knew you could do it,” he cooed, eyes watching how greedily your cunt sucked in his dick. Yoba, he was close. So, so close. The thought of filling you up made his balls pull again, aching for that sweet, sweet release. He needed you to cum, drench him, cream his cock – he just needed you to.

His tongue lulled out of his mouth, spittle landing on your already damp skin as he pounded into you. His thumb found its spot on your clit again, flicking and rubbing it in circles that matched the pace of his thrusts. “Sa-Sahaaam!” You sobbed, voice edging in a high pitch as your stomach swirled around that approaching high. “What is it, baby? Gonna cum for me? Please, cum for me. Drench me, I want it all, make a mess of me.” His words only added to the building pressure within you, the room suddenly seeming to spin, the only thing that stayed in frame being the blond that fucked into you as if his life depended on it. Your moans no longer consisted of anything cohesive, only the high-pitched edge announced your nearing orgasm. Sam picked up on it, fell right in love with it and obeyed, keeping his pace a steady, hard fuck, thumb massaging your aching clit in a way that made your thighs twitch. You tried to tell him that you were going to cum, you certainly did, but all that left your mouth was a sob, followed by a small whine before your back arched in, legs full-on shaking as your orgasm wrecked through you.

Your hole spasmed around Sam’s already pulsing dick, gush of juices creating a creamy ring around the base of his shaft. He wanted this image of you to be forever etched into his brain, wanted it to be one of his core memories.

The look you gave him was enough to send him over the edge himself, red tip spitting ropes of cum inside of you, filling you up with each thrust. Sam just couldn’t stop, the need to fuck it deep inside of you possessing him as he pounded away, wanted to mark you as his and only his.

Only when his balls felt so incredibly empty did he slow to a stop, panting for hair like a dog in heat. Looking down at you, you weren’t in much better shape. You looked wrecked. Body flushed still, covered in his drools and lovebites he had left while he had been fucking into you. You were still shaking lightly against him, your eyes holding a fucked-out gaze that made his knees weak. For a while, the two of you just looked at one another as you panted, Sam’s hand carefully trading through your hair, the other working on holding up your tired body.

After a while, Sam dared to speak again. “So…I know we met on a website for sex, but…could I maybe take you on a date?”

[flowersintheimpala69]

14 year old sammy being invited by some boys in his class to his first party and more importantly his first highschool party and he’s so excited and giddy cuz he’s never really had friend before cuz they move around sm and other kids are usually put off by the random bruises (from hunts) that adorn his body and his Salvation Army clothes that are too big and his tattered shoes with holes and even tho dean is sorta in the same boat, dean is 18 and handsome and has girls all over them and sam is still awkwardly gangly. Plus the boys who invited him are part of “the cool crowd” so it feels extremely validating for them to even notice him.

anyways, Sam is hella excited and he spends an hour before hand getting ready in the bathroom and picking out his outfit and while dean would normally tease him abt it he dosent cuz he knows this is a big deal for sam and he’s so glad that his baby brother is finally making friends because he knows sammy is actually really smart and fun to be around and it breaks his heart that he never has friends to go out with.

Dean drives him to the house where that party is happening at like 8 pm and pats him on the shoulder and tells him not to drink too much and to use protection and sam yells “Dean!” and blushes deep red but then Dean tells him to have fun and that he’ll come pick him up at midnight and to “go get them tiger” and sam gives him a little smile

deans at home when at 10:00 he gets a call and it’s an unknown number but sometimes dad calls from unknown numbers so he picks up but it’s not his dads voice on the other line.

“Dean?”

It’s unmistakably Sam’s voice, but it sounds strained and shaky. Deans immediately worried and asks if everything’s all right and sam just tells him he need Dean to pick him up. And deans like okay I’ll be right there what’s the address of the house again??

And sam tells him he’s actually not at the house anymore (which worries and confuses the fuck out of dean) and says he’s about a mile away at a pay phone and he says the street corner and apologizes for making Dean drive the extra mile

And deans internally like “wtf??” Cuz sam never apologizes and starts wondering if he’s just rlly drunk. He puts a pin in it and drives to the street sam said and sure enough sitting on the curb is a sammy-looking lump. Dean leaves the engine running but gets out of the car cuz sam is still just sitting there and he starts worrying that he has alcohol poisoning but then before Dean can even reach sam, he’s up and running towards Dean and pressing his face into his chest and hugging him.

And. That’s so weird. Cuz sam is in his angsty teen phase where he dosent want to be as huggy or cuddly with dean cuz that’s “embarrassing” yet here he is pressing himself against Dean so hard it’s like he’s trying to become part of him.

Sam dosent say anything in the car or when they start driving. Dean decides this is definitely not okay and he needs to do smth so he pulls into a gas station and gets himself a raspberry slushie and sam the cola slushie he likes and he gets them hotdogs (with extra onions and mustard for sam just the way he likes it) and he drives to a little deserted backroad and they sit on the hood of the car while eating and looking at the stars

And Dean hopes the food will put sam into a better mood but besides a quiet “thanks” when Dean had handed him the food sam stays silent and it’s so not sam-like. Deans abt to prompt an explanation but sam speaks first.

“Sorry you had to pick me up,”

“It’s okay, I really didn’t mind”

Sam’s quiet for a moment then in a small and shaky voice that makes deans heart break asks “Dean, you like me, right? Like you think I’m.. you think I’m cool right?”

and deans suddenly angry cuz obviously those stupid kids must have said something to sam and but he knows Sam dosent need him yelling rn so he takes a deep breath and pulls sam into his side, sliding a hand against his nape.

“Sammy of course I like you. You’re the smartest, coolest, funniest little brother one could ask for.”

Sam smiles a bit at that and rest his head against deans shoulder, “thanks Dean.”

Dean dosent ask what the those kids must have said to him but after a moment sam starts talking unprompted.

“The uh, guys who invited me, they uh did it like as a joke,” he sniffles, “and I didn’t realize but then they started calling me a girl and saying I was a pussy and someone wanted to uh, check if I had a, um, like if I had a-if I was like a woman down there and they pushed me down and tried to take off my pants and I-I didn’t..” sam trails off with a sniff.

Dean can feel Sam’s wet face against his neck. “Oh sammy, I’m so sorry, they’re assholes don’t pay mind to them—“

“But they’re right! They pushed me down and dad trained me-us-I could’ve totally fought back but-I don’t know I froze like a girl and just let it happen-I am a fucking pussy-“ sam is interrupted by a hiccup and then starts full on sobbing and dean can only pull sam into his lap and let him sob into his chest. Sam spends the next 20 minutes sobbing and babbling into deans collar about how he wishes he wasn’t a fucking freak and wants to be normal and at one point he leans off the side of the car to puke cuz he’s crying so hard and he’s so sorry Dean I didn’t mean to get sick I’m so gross I’m sorry and deans heart breaks.

Dean has to carry sam into the car and then the motel cuz he’s so exhausted from crying. Sam stays home from school the next day. John comes home that night, and dean convinces him to let them leave town the next morning.

They don’t ever talk about it after that.

[scoonsaliciousupdates]

5.3 Lily

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count: 500

Previously On...: Bucky got a call from Lily, wanting to know where he was. He lied to her, of course. That definitely won't come back to bite him in the ass.

A/N: Sorry this is so late going up! Had a last-minute Mother's Day dinner with the family, and then some quality time with @cazellen, and when you add on an hour+ drive each way, it ended up eating my entire evening. But! I wouldn't leave you hanging, so here is today's update, just... six hours late :(

Also, PLEASE NOTE: There is one more section of Chapter 5 to go up tomorrow, and then I will be taking a one-week break from posting so I can focus on writing. So, Chapter 6 will start on Sunday, May 19th. I probably will not be as active on here as I normally am, so if you send me a message and I don't respond right away, it's because I'm busy making more content for you!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Lily clutched her phone to her chest, shocked. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. He had lied to her. She couldn’t believe it. Her best friend had lied to her about what he was doing and who he was with. 

She hadn’t planned on coming to the Compound that night– she’d realized she’d forgotten some files in her office that she needed to look over before she went back to work on Monday, and had just stopped in to pick them up. She figured, since she was there, she might as well go see what Bucky and Sam were up to. She didn’t want to crash their boys’ night, per se, but if they happened to invite her to join them? Well, how could she refuse such an invitation?

That’s why it came as such a shock when she rounded the corner to the rec room and saw Sam and Steve, in front of the large television, watching football together, and Bucky nowhere in sight. She hung back for a few moments, giving him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he’d been in the bathroom, or in the kitchen grabbing snacks. But when fifteen minutes went by, then thirty, and Bucky still hadn’t shown himself, she began to worry.

She was about to barge into the room and demand answers from Sam and Steve, when she heard them talking during a commercial break.

“So, how do you think the date’s going?” Steve asked Sam.

“Knowing Tin Man, I’d usually say ‘terribly,’” Sam said with a laugh, “but this girl seems to actually like him, so who the hell knows? I guess it depends on what time he comes home tonight… or tomorrow morning, doesn’t it?” 

Lily brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her gasp as she backed away from the entrance to the rec room. 

No. No, no, no, no, no, she thought. He wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t just start seeing someone without telling her, warning her, would he? 

So, she’d called him. 

“I promised Sam we’d do guys’ night,” he’d told her at brunch, the lie coming so smoothly off his lips. But she’d heard a woman’s voice on the line with him.

Lies.

And then, he’d snapped “I already told you what I was doing… You don’t have to keep checking up on me.” He’d never used that exasperated tone with her before. Never. And to just hang up on her, without even a proper goodbye?

She felt hurt. She felt betrayed. In their years of friendship, Bucky had never lied to her before, had he? And why? Why now? Who was this girl, and what was so fucking special about her that Bucky felt the need to lie to his best friend about her? 

Lily felt like she was going to be sick.

She needed to find out who this mystery woman was, immediately. And she needed to do everything in her power to make sure Bucky never saw her again.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[kwinsispn3]

Charms

summary: through the years — the Winchester’s little sister’s good luck charm, ends up being a bit of a tradition.

Word Count: 4,214

Winchester boys x sister!reader

Warnings: blood, death, angst, sorry about the italics, idk what I'm doing??

The youngest Winchester, y/n, was welcomed into the family a little bit later than expected. Y/n was 3 when her mom died, and had no one else to go to but her father and two brothers. It was a few years after John had died too, when Dean got a call from one of John’s old phones in the glove compartment. And there she’s was on the other line.

It had been a few months after y/n had been living with the boys. It was tricky for everyone to adjust. Sam and Dean would do anything for her at the drop of a hat, but they all found it difficult to connect at first. Y/n was struggling to feel like a part of the family. She had lost the only adults she knew about in her short life, her trust had been taken away from everything it felt like. Sam and Dean had treated her nothing but kind since the day they found her, and deep down she knew they wouldn’t hurt her, but time would tell.

It was late at night, Dean couldn’t sleep. Going to reach for his headphones, they weren’t in the side table drawer where he normally puts them. He arose, flipping on the desk lamp across the room, starting to look for them quietly, when he came across a box. The box where he always kept special things he couldn’t lose. Photographs of him and Sammy as kids, their mother, different trinkets that held a memory. Dean flipped through a few photos, admiring them sadly under the light of his lamp. Looking down into the box he saw a glaring piece of silver at the bottom. Picking it up, he gazed at the charm bracelet that belonged to his mother. The charms shined in the light as they swayed side to side.

Sam approached the desk in the motel, about to speak as he sees him, but stops. “Hey, uhh. You busy?” He asked stepping closer.

“No, just couldn’t really sleep” Dean says as he packs the things back in the box.

“What’s this, is this mom’s?” Sam asked, sliding the bracelet over to his grasp.

“Yup.”

~

It was y/n’s 10th birthday and it had been a rough year. Another new school, y/n wasn’t staying with Bobby as much anymore since she was older and could stand the long car rides with Sam & Dean. Girls were starting to be mean at school, y/n felt alone most of the time, because she was left alone. In school, and back at the motels they stayed at. The boys felt for her, being so young, constantly exposed to the childhood they had. They didn’t expect that they would ever being doing what they were doing, but they wouldn’t give up on trying to give their little sister the life she needed.

The brothers made it home from finishing up a hunt just in time for y/n’s birthday. They had brought home her favorite food, and desserts. It wasn’t much, but they wanted to show her some appreciation for all of her patience. After finishing up dinner, Sam started to clean up the table. “Alright, looks like it is almost your bedtime.”

“Really? Even on my birthday?” Y/n playfully pouted.

“Your beauty sleep is more important!” Sam smiled back. “Especially being a weeknight. But we will pick up the festivities this weekend, because we’re leaving town!” Sam blurted out without thinking about how that sounded.

Dean looked at him and back at y/n, knowing her reaction wouldn’t be excited. Sam realized he had messed up by saying it so soon, they had meant to break it to her the next day, after her birthday.

“You mean, I have to leave this school, and go to another one?!” She sighed in disappointment.

“Well, yeah. But… we can go wherever you’d like to, on the way to—“

“No, you both said we’d be here for a while.”

“Y/n—“

“Just stop!" The room fell silent. "I know this is what you guys do, but I hate having to move again and again."

"Look, I know you do. It isn't fun for us either, but that's how we.."

"Get our job done, I know Sam." y/n finished his sentence, looking down at her hands.

"What's wrong, y/n/n?" Sam asked, studying her face.

"I just told you." her voice got more quiet. "You sure? You just... look like somethings on your mind." Sam stated. There was a long pause, y/n shuffled around and then looked up at her brothers. They both had that look on their face like they were waiting for her to let out whatever she was thinking.

"How do you guys always know!!?" She threw her arms down in frustration. Trying to stay mad but also wanting to break down from all of the inner turmoil. The boys both half smiled, Sam sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, motioning for y/n to sit down.

"It just gets scary sometimes..... not knowing when you're gonna come back. Boring too. I just don't want you to forget about me." y/n let out a deep breath.

"Sweetheart, you know we'd never forget about you. We look forward to coming back to you after every job." Sam reassured. Y/n let out a half smile, hearing the same line before. "I know."

It was times like these where Dean would always think of his mother. Even though y/n wasn't his mothers daughter, he knew if she were still around, she'd know exactly what to say in moments like these. The two boys were almost left with a loss of words until Dean thought of the perfect thing. He stood up and went outside to the car, rummaging through the trunk. He came back inside with a box in his hands. Going through it, he picked up Mary's bracelet and sat down next to y/n.

"This was... our mom's. I think she would have wanted you to have it." Dean hooked the charm bracelet around y/n's wrist. It felt a little odd to her, knowing Mary was not her real mom.

"Are you sure? I mean, she..." y/n tried not to come off sounding rude, but Dean knew what she was trying to say.

"I know, but trust me. We hung onto it for a reason. All of these charms mean something special, and as long as you have this with you... you will always be protected. And you will always, be apart of this family." Dean held her wrist, emphasizing it's importance. Y/n rotated her wrist, admiring all of the charms.

She smiled bigger, looking up at them. "Thank you."

Dean said nothing, instead bringing his sister in for a hug. Sam raised his eyebrows, blinking away his watery eyes from the moment he just witnessed. Running his hands over his face, he sat down, and embrace his siblings into one.

~

It was y/n's first official hunt. She had just turned 14, and had proven to her brothers that she could take care of herself... as long as she stayed right by their sides. Y/n had been studying, not just in school. Every chance she got, she was prying information from Sam or Dean about hunting. Practicing how to use different forms of defense, and being on the look out for anything. She now had finally gotten herself into the real deal.

The three of them walked through an abandoned farm property, looking for any hidden rooms, since the rest of the house was suspiciously clear. "We should go check the barn out back." Y/n whispered. "Okay, but for now, you stay here." Dean whispered back.

"Why? there's nothing here. We've looked everywhere and there is no nest." y/n stated.

"Well, that's what they want you to think, but it wasn't at the last house so it's gotta be here."

"Shhh!" Sam spat. Hearing a crash from somewhere in the house.

Everyone froze, being as still and quiet as they could, trying to listen for any noises. It was silent, until a floorboard creaked from behind Dean. He jumped around, but before he could strike, everyone was knocked unconscious. None of them got a chance to see what hit them as it was too dark.

Y/n woke up in a cold and dark room. The floor was cement, and the walls were stone, it was likely a basement room. Shortly after coming to, she heard the ceiling above her creak and the walls too. Footsteps thudded on the floor outside of the room she was in, and she heard the ceiling creak once more. Y/n panicked, and resumed her position on the floor where she woke up, pretending to still be knocked out.

The door flung open, she squinted her eyes the most she could while trying to look asleep. A dark figure walked over to her, she could see another figure behind him, holding the door open. She was suddenly lifted off the floor, her body limp and hanging in the grip of whoever was holding her.

"Nope, still out. Let's give it another hour." A deep voice spoke. They let go of y/n's body, letting it thud back to the floor. The two figures left. Y/n sat up slowly, feeling the ache from being thrown onto cement. 'A ladder?' She thought, seeing one against the wall outside the door. One set of footsteps walked away, another set sounded like they were climbing the ladder, as the wall creaked again.

Y/n listened closely to the creaks and heard the ceiling again, 'a trapdoor!' It had to be. It sounded like it was just above the door to the room she was in. After listening for a while, it grew quiet again. Y/n got up and tried opening the door, no luck. It was locked. Y/n knew she had to alert her brothers somehow, wherever they were. For all she knew, they could be in another locked room themselves.

Sam and Dean both woke up in the barn that was behind the house. Dean sat up abruptly in the hay, looking around for y/n once he spotted Sam. "Y/N!!"

"She's gotta be somewhere in that house. C'mon!" Sam hurried.

The two men walked through out the house again, pacing every room back and forth, looking for anything they could have missed. "Dude, I can't find any levers, or buttons... no hidden doors. Fuckin squat!" Dean was starting to get worried and pissed, not knowing how long they were out and how long y/n had been separated.

Sam, stepped on something uneven. Raising his foot, he looked at the dark floor and saw a bit of silver shining in the moonlight. He picked up the object, which happened to be y/n's charm bracelet.

Dean looked at Sam holding up the charms, stunned to say the least. "That ain't good, we need to find her, quick." Dean started, rushing past Sam, ready to look wherever he had to.

"Wait! Dean look...." Sam kneeled down, taking in the details of the floor they had completely missed. They had been walking all over it this whole time. "Dean, it's a trap door!"

They both kneeled down and found a flat switched embedded in one of the floorboards. Sam pressed the switch, a square in the floor creaked open, revealing a hidden basement. "Let's go."

Sam and Dean came across a long hallway, that went in two directions. Both sides of the walls had doors to other rooms. "She's gotta be down here." Sam whispered.

"That probably means the nest is also down here." Dean huffed with worry.

The two split up to start checking the rooms. Dean started with the door next to the ladder that led them down there. He busted it open to find y/n sitting on the floor. "Y/N! Thank god, are you okay?" Dean sighed in relief.

"I'm fine.... did you find my clue?" she asked hopefully.

"Your clue??"

"Yeah, I slid my charm bracelet through the floor."

"You did that? How... what..... I'd love to hear how you came up with that later, because I think you led us right to the vamp nest." Dean smiled proudly.

~

It had been 5 long days since y/n went missing. Of course, Sam and Dean hadn't stopped for anything until they found her. They had not slept, barely ate, there was no breaks, no stopping. They had grown tired after searching almost every lead they had.

The two sat at the table in their motel room in silence, too irritated and exhausted to say anything unless it was important. "I'll be back." Dean stood up, grabbing his jacket.

"Where ya going?" Sam asked.

"To look for y/n".

Sam sighed. Dean always blamed himself if Sam or y/n were in trouble. No matter the situation.

Dean pulled up to the school where the first kid went missing. Putting the car in park, he got out and walked around the campus, trying his best not to look suspicious. School was still in session despite the mysterious disappearances, which made it hard to investigate. Y/n was a big help in the case, being able to blend in as a student, until she went missing too. Sam and Dean had checked all the surrounding places that had a connection, yet, nothing.

Dean circled the courtyard, eyeing the buildings, trying to think of literally anything, when he remembered... The old building behind the school. The one that wasn't in use anymore, they were planning to knock it down soon. It made so much sense now, they were hiding in plain sight. He picked up his phone to dial Sam, letting him know to meet him over there as he picked up the pace on his way over to the building.

Dean scanned the area around him, making sure no one was looking before approaching the front steps. The front doors were boarded shut, he tried to make them give but had no luck. He circled the building to the back door when he noticed a shine catching his eye.

Y/n's charm bracelet sat in the dirt and gravel near the back door. He picked it up with care, and put it in his pocket. Dean was able to get in the building, it was full of mold and broken down old school supplies. He walked down endless hallways, looking through every door until he found y/n. Handcuffed to an old radiator on the ground. Rushing over, he shook her gently, trying to wake her up.

"Dean!" Sam called out from a distance. He stood up and poked his head around the hallway. "Hey! Did you find her?" Sam asked frantically.

"Yeah, I got her. Help me find some of the other kids." He said as he rushed back to y/n. Her head and arms had dried up blood all over them, and looked as if she was dragged through dirt.

"Y/n, c'mon sweetheart, wake up." she slowly nodded, with fluttering eyes, becoming more alert once she saw Dean.

"oh my god, Dean!" She spoke softly, reaching out for him but was stopped by the cuffs. "One sec, I got it." He assured.

Once she was free, she gently wrapped her arms around him. "You found me.... I was worried you wouldn't." Her eyes welled with tears.

Dean held her shoulders and reached into his pocket. "Baby, I will always find you." He said as he hooked her bracelet back onto her wrist. She sniffled a heartwarming smile back at him.

~

Sam and Dean stood in front of y/n, and also y/n. The 3 of them were hunting a shifter, and it had taken y/n's form. Now it was down to which y/n was the real y/n.

"Guys. c'mon it's me! Trust me." y/n whined.

"Stop! No, I'm me. I know it's hard to tell right now but it's really me!" y/n also whined.

"Here...." y/n slowly kneeled down and placed her gun on the ground. The other y/n still clutched her gun tightly. A determined look set in her eyes.

"I wouldn't hurt you guys. You know that." she stood up slowly without the weapon.

Sam and Dean gazed between the two versions of their sister. "I'm not sure you can keep that promise." Sam spat. Y/n lunged at Sam as he pulled the trigger. She fell to the ground, all 3 of them stood frozen for a second before seeing the body start to melt. They all let out a heavy breath.

"Thank you, for not shooting me." y/n snickered, lowering her gun. "How'd you know?"

Sam reached for her wrist. "Guess it wasn't able to replicate your good luck charm." He smiled at the charms on her bracelet.

~

It happened so fast. None of them saw the last one that hid behind the corner. A shot rang out, the bullet snuck past Sam who held his gun up. He fired his weapon, taking out the last guy. He let out a greedy breath, looking over at Dean who gave him the same relieved look.

"Nice one, brother." He patted his shoulder. "You too y/n." Dean and Sam looked behind them, only to jump when they saw y/n clutching her stomach hunched over.

"Y/n!? You okay? Lemme see...... umm, okay c'mon. We gotta go." Dean said frantically after seeing all the blood soaking through her shirt. He lifted her up, carrying her to the car and placing her in the backseat.

"Hang on, y/n." Dean kept calling out from the drivers seat, while Sam reached back, holding onto what ever grip she had on him.

"Sammy..... I can't...." Y/n sounded breathy. Holding her palm over her wound.

"Yes you can, just hold on a little longer for me, okay?" Sam hoped his words would help motivate his sister to find strength. They couldn't lose her, not like this.

Dean peeled into the emergency room lot, barely parking the car. The two men jumped out of the car, rushing to the backseat. When they opened the door, y/n was slumped over on her side, unresponsive.

"Y/n, c'mon wake up, look at me." Dean patted her face, holding her in his arms. Nothing.

As they carried her through the doors, it felt like a blank blur of people bombarding them, saying words. Dean froze as Sam called out for help, telling the nurses what happened. Then he felt people tugging y/n away from him. As they started to wheel her back, Dean grasped her hand.

"Sir, please let go, we need to get her medical attention."

Normally, he would've fought to stay with her, but he froze again. Letting go of her hand which then flopped to the side of her.

Sam and Dean waited an excruciatingly long 3 hours before someone came asking for them. A doctor came out and ushered them through the doors.

"Is she okay? What's the deal?" Dean asked impatiently. All the doctor said was 'come with me' so they assumed he was taking them to her. He remained quiet and led them down the hall, motioning them to step into a room. Once they both saw it was an office, they expected the worst.

"Please, have a seat."

"Doc, not trying to be rude, but I've been sitting for 3 hours. I'd rather not wait any longer. How's our sister?" Dean said straight to the point.

The doctor took a deep breath, folding his hands. "Y/n suffered some really bad hemorrhaging from the bullet wound. Once we removed the bullet, we couldn't stop the bleeding...... she stopped breathing a little while before that."

"I'm sorry, but she didn't make it."

Neither of the boys took it well, especially Dean. He refused to believe anything after that, he kept saying 'no' to everything the doctor said.

"Um... is there any way we could still see her? y'know, say our goodbyes." Sam hesitantly glanced at Dean.

"Yes, of course. Give us some time to prepare her. In the meantime, I would start discussing arrangements for-"

As soon as Dean heard that, he turned around and walked out.

Sam stayed and waited until he was able to see y/n. The nurse left to give him his privacy. As soon as he saw her, he broke. Slowly walking over to the bed with tears blurring his vision, he kneeled down and picked up her frail hand. He cringed at the fact that it was still warm, but that warmth was fading. Sam eyed her charm bracelet that was still on. He pinched the charms between his fingers, rotating it around.

"I'm sorry..... I'm sorry we couldn't...." Sam trailed off. Wiping away his tears, he looked at his sister for a while. Taking in her features, trying to permanently memorize what she looked like when she smiled, laughed, looked at her brothers with her big y/e/c eyes.

"I love you."

~

Dean had stormed out of the hospital. He felt like raging against all evil that had ever existed, so upset he could flip a car. He had always imagined he'd go like this, but not his little sister. Only 20 years old, and it was all taken away from her, from him, from them. Dean didn't know what to do or where to go, so much was going through his mind. He opened baby's driver door and sat inside, letting the silence consume the vehicle for a few moments before speaking up.

"Cas..... we could really use you right now."

.....

"Y/n is dead. And... she shouldn't be. I know it's a lot to ask, but this is y/n we're talking about."

.....

"Cas...?" Dean sat a while longer, waiting, waiting for Cas, or a sign. Anything.

"Please, Cas. I'll do whatever I have to, I'll sell my soul, I'll make a trade. I don't know, anything."

Still, nothing. No response. Nothing.

Sam walked outside to the car since Dean wasn't answering the phone. He saw him sitting in the car and slowly opened the passenger door, getting in next to him.

Neither of them said anything at first.

"Uh, she's in there, whenever you're ready." Sam tried to hide his sniffles. Dean stayed quiet.

"This isn't the end." He finally spoke up.

"What?"

"She's not dead for good."

"Dean, we can't make another deal like that, if that's what you're thinking. It just leads us into more problems."

"Sam, this is y/n! I don't give shit what I have to do."

Sam stopped there, he knew it wasn't a good time to reason with Dean. He needed to give it time.

"Here." Sam held out his hand. He placed the object in Dean's hand. Dean opened his palm, now holding y/n's charm bracelet.

"What are you doing?!" Dean raised his tone, agitated.

"What do you mean? I-"

"Why did you take this off of her!?" Dean growled.

Before Sam could say anything else, Dean opened the door and stormed back into the hospital. Sam followed, delaying himself a little bit to give Dean some space. He was hoping this would give him some time for closure.

Dean's anger led him into y/n's room a little fast. He slowed his vigorous pace when he saw her. He slowly approach the bedside and sat next to her, gently hooking the charms around her wrist once more. A tear escaped his waterline when he looked up at her, not receiving the smile she always gave him. He squeezed her hand in his, lowering his head with the gesture. Dean sat there for a while in thought, when her hand started to feel different. Almost as if it was less limp. He squeezed it some more subconsciously, but this time felt her hand clench underneath his. He shot up, looking at y/n confused.

"y/n?" Her chest rose up and fell heavily as her body took a breath. "Y/n!?"

Sam overheard and peeked in. "Dean, wha-."

"Get the doctor, now!" He flipped his head around. Sam nodded and ran out confused.

Y/n's chest was now rising and falling in a rhythm, Dean kept saying her name and sweet things. Then her eyes slowly opened.

"y/n!" Dean let out an overjoyed cry. "Oh! sweetheart...."

"help... owh." y/n managed to wheeze out, trying to catch her breath.

"Dean.." she caught a gaze of him. He smiled and fixed her stray hairs on her forehead. "It hurts t-t much." she breathed out, then doctors flooded into the room with Sam close behind.

"Y/n!!?" Sam breathed out as he caught sight of her.... alive.

The doctors started giving her oxygen, medicine and checked her vitals. Dean backed up to give them space to work. "Dean! no.." y/n mumbled.

"It's okay, I'm right here! I'm not going anywhere."

Sam pulled him aside. "Dean! What did you do?"

"Nothing! I swear! She... she was gone when I came in, and then..."

"Cas."

"So, Cas did this?"

Dean nodded, looking back at y/n.

All the commotion died down, y/n was stable. The doctors were confused as hell, but ruled it out as a medical miracle, and were pleased to inform Sam and Dean that she'd be alright.

"So, who do I thank?" y/n asked.

"Cas." Dean smiled.

"Glad to have you back, kid." Sam grinned.

"Me too.... gotta love my good luck charm!" she smiled, jingling her bracelet around.

[ninii-winchester]

Unveiled Sorrows (Part 4)

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Reader, Sam Winchester x Reader (platonic)

Word count : 3.6k

Warnings : spoilers s1-5, angst, so much angst, violence, language, mentions of pregnancy, unedited.

A/n : This series follows canon plot line but some scenes might happen differently or be completely changed. Check the warnings for each part before continuing.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

It had been a few weeks since the boys have been on the road. They called often. But it was mostly Sam. Sometimes to ask for help in research or sometimes just to make sure she's okay. Sam informed Y/n that there might a way to stop the apocalypse, as Gabriel told them, they can throw Lucifer back into his cage. The key to the cage being the rings from the four horsemen. Luckily they already had two of them. They just had to get the other two.

Bobby went out to help them with a witch problem. More like to get help himself. Cas hung around while Bobby was gone.

"How're you doin', Y/n." He asked the girl.

"I'm good honestly." She smiled. "Maybe after Lucifer is back in the cage, we could have a somewhat normal life."

"You're right." Cas replied.

"Cas I'm sorry." Y/n started. "For the times I've been mean to you. I know you were doing what you thought was right."

"It's alright. I understand." Cas said with a smile.

Bobby came back the next morning and he looked solemn. Y/n noticed and she knew something was wrong.

"Alright spill." She said sitting in front of him. The older man just sighed and looked away. "What did they do now?"

"Those idjits are trying to kill me.." He exclaimed. "How did you put up with all that all these years?" He asked.

"You get used to it, Bobby, Cmon tell me what is it now?" Y/n smiled thinking it can't be that bad.

"Sam wants to say yes." Bobby stated.

"What?" Y/n exclaimed standing up from her seat. "Why? I thought we had a plan."

"Yeah but you don't expect Lucifer to jump in out of the goodness of his heart, do you?" Bobby asked rhetorically.

"Yeah so what he's gonna sacrifice himself? What did Dean say about this?" Bobby looked away giving her the answer. "You've got to be shitting me! Dean agreed??" She exclaimed.

"I think this might actually be good idea." Cas spoke for the first time.

"Cas, not a good time buddy, lord so help me i will rip your lungs out." Y/n snapped.

"Technically that's not possible since I'm an angel. Although it would be inconvenient since I'd have to find another vessel." Cas replied his in monotonous voice.

Sometimes she hated the Angel. She left the room without a word. She can't believe Sam would suggest something like but, no wait she can because he's dumb like that. What she can't believe that Dean and Bobby are actually considering it. She slammed her foot on the car infront of her, cursing in frustration.

The boys didn't come back for atleast another week. Y/n heard the Impala pulling up in driveway and she knew they're here. She stood at the bottom of the staircase and watched as the door opened and walked in Dean. She didn't know what she was hoping for but a nod of acknowledgment just wasn't it. Dean made his way to the main room without a word. Sam entered the house few moments later.

"Hey Y/n." He greeted her and her mind went haywire. Her anger flared and all she saw was red. She was angry and upset, Dean's behaviour added fuel to the fire. Before she knew she took a step forward and punched Sam in the face causing him to reel back. He held his nose and hissed.

Dean came rushing to Sam's side and Bobby wheeled to see what the commotion is about.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Dean asked angrily.

"Me? What is wrong with you two. All of you?" Y/n screamed. "You're going to say yes to Lucifer? You're gonna let him take you?" She asked incredulously looking at Sam.

"Y/n i know it's a hard pill to swallow but we don't have another choice. You can't just expect to ask him nicely and he'll jump in." Sam understood she's upset. He understands she can't let her best friend go. He put his hand over her shoulder but she shrugged it off and went to the main room. The others followed her behind.

"There has to be another way. Why do you have to sacrifice yourself?" She asked throwing her hands up.

"One life for seven billion lives. I don't think it's a bad bargain." Sam replied softly.

"What about us, what about me and Dean, your family?" She felt her lip quiver. "Why do you think it's your responsibility to be the one saving the world.?"

"You know damn well I started the apocalypse. It is my responsibility." Sam replied feeling himself getting angry.

"And you don't have anything to say about this?" She turned to Dean hoping he'd say something. When he didn't say anything Sam spoke.

"Look, Y/n there is no other way, we have War and Famine's rings, we're gonna get Pestilence's and Death's rings. I say Yes to Lucifer, We open the cage and I jump in."

"And you think he'll let you do that? You think he's not gonna take over your body as soon you say Yes." Y/n countered.

"It's worth a try." Sam replied.

"No it's a stup-"

"ALRIGHT ENOUGH." Dean's loud voice boomed making her flinch a bit. "You need to stop, you hear me? This is our decision to make. We were chosen for this and last I checked the world doesn't revolve around you." Dean said directly looking at Y/n.

"Dean." Sam said trying to calm his brother but the older Winchester didn't waver.

"I suppose the decision has been made. We don't need your input. Either you help or you walk out. The door's that way." Dean said looking into her eyes, pointing towards the door.

"You watch what you're saying, boy."  Bobby spoke for the first time in a while. "Need I remind you this is my house." Dean looked away at Bobby's stern voice.

Y/n didn't speak nor did she breath, how could she. She felt as if her heart has been ripped out of her chest. She didn't cry, everything inside her wanted her to scream and yell. To breakdown and hope that its a terrible nightmare that would be over soon.

"Is this your final decision?" She asked the same question she asked him after everything with Alistair went down. A single teardrop slid down her cheek.

"Yes." Dean replied. Unnerving and firm in his decision. In that moment she knew it was over. Everything was over. At this point who was she even kidding, there was nothing to begin with. At his confirmation all she did was nod her head. And she made her way up to her to room. The main room fell silent as she left.

"Dean what the hell?" Sam exclaimed and Dean left the room without a word.

Y/n didn't come out of the room the whole day. Bobby couldn't go up to check on her and Sam didn't know if she wanted to see him. Dean however remained indifferent. Sam grabbed a beer from the fridge and went outside. He felt like he was going to suffocate inside. He sat on the hood of one of the many cars present at the yard. He heard footsteps and looked to see Y/n coming outside. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Sam sitting there.

"Sorry I'll just go." She said softly before turning back.

"Y/n-" Sam called out to her. She turned to look at him. "Please stay." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Sam-"

"Please." She nodded and made her way towards him and he helped her up. The two of them sat in silence. Dean saw Y/n and Sam talking, sitting on the hood of a car. He couldn't help but eavesdrop.

It was quiet for moment before Sam spoke, "I'm sorry." She didn't look at him nor did she say anything. "I'm sorry it came down to this. I wish things could've been different." She still didn't speak but looked at him. "I know it's hard for you to accept and i know if i were in your place I'd react the same way hell even worse. But you have to know this is my redemption, for what I did. I set him loose and I have to be the one to send him back."

"I understand Sam." Dean heard her say. "Truth is, I was being selfish, I didn't want to lose my best friend. I didn't want to lose my family, but the real truth is I realised that I never had one." She tucked her knees to her chest. "I found out the hard way but all in good time." She smiled even though she felt her heartstrings were seconds away from snapping.

Dean felt like his whole body was on fire as he heard her say that. He knew what he did, and he knew what he said. But he had to keep her away. He couldn't let her get hurt, so it doesn't matter if she walks away hating him. What matters is she walks away. Alive and Safe.

"That's not true Dean...he just... he didn't mean it. He's angry. He might not show it but the decision is affecting him too. He didn't mean any of it." Sam tried to explain.

"You and I both have been with him long enough to know he meant what he said." Y/n looked into Sam's eyes, her eyebrow raised and lips tugged upwards. Her face screamed are-you-really going-to-argue-you-know-i-am-right. Sam looked away because deep down, he knew Dean meant it. His posture, the way he spoke, it was familiar to him. "I assume this is goodbye?" Tears filled her eyes as she asked.

"I wish it wasn't." Sam replied pulling her into a bone crushing hug. Y/n was thankful that they were sitting so he didn't crush her stomach. However his hands were tightly wrapped around her shoulder and her's around his torso.

"I wish i knew what to say to make you stay." She sobbed in his chest. Sam couldn't help but let a few tears roll down down his cheeks and onto her hair. "Please don't go Sammy." She cried, her body shaking with intensity.

Dean wished he could join them, he wished he could comfort them both, he wished he could tell them that's all gonna be okay. But his feet were glued to ground. The only thing he wanted to do was protect his family. He failed to protect Sam but he knew he had to protect her so he made a decision and he's going to stick to it.

"I have to. But you have to promise me you'll take care of yourself yeah? You won't be reckless." He pulled away to look at her. "As much as I love you I have no desire to meet you on the other side anytime soon. You hear me?" He joked and it made her chuckle through her tears.

"Bold of you to assume I’m going to Hell.” She tried to joke but it only made her cry more. “I promise. I'll be safe." She sniffled as they pulled apart. "I'm leaving." She told him.

"What? Where?"

"I don't know." She shrugged.

Dean has never felt so broken before. The two people he loved the most in his life are leaving. And he can't do anything to stop either of them. Life has always been a losing game for him. But being ripped off of his family, all at once it was too much to bear. He didn't know how long he could hold on so he went inside. He couldn't hear it anymore.

A month has passed since Y/n left Bobby's house. Much to the older man's dismay. Last thing she knew before leaving that the boys were searching for Pestilence. She had been living in a motel room that she had booked for a month. She went to see a doctor as well, and found out she was three months along now. She was lost in thought staring at the ultrasound picture when her phone rang. Her heartbeat accelerated as she picked up the phone. It said Cas. She pondered whether to answer or not.

"Hello." Her voice shaky as she answered.

"We have the key." The angel spoke. "We're going to Detroit." He spoke.

"What do you want me to do Cas?" She asked, she hoped Dean had asked him to call her. She knew he was too stubborn to call herself but she hoped.

"I thought you'd want to know."

"Did they tell you to call me?"

"No. It was me." Her hopes were shattered.

"Alright Cas."

"Will you come?"

"No." With that she hung up. She couldn't go. What would she even do? Watch her best friend jump into the hell fire? She'd pass.

As Sam and Dean drove to Detroit, the tension in air was so thick they could cut it with a knife. Dean kept his focus on driving and Sam kept fidgeting with his fingers. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Dean." Sam turned to his brother.

"I'm not doing the goodbye crap." Dean replied without looking at Sam.

"You have to listen to me." Dean raised a brow and urged him to continue. "You have to promise me you won't try to bring me back." Sam said with urgency.

"What? I never agreed on anything like that."

"Dean. No, you have to promise me that you won't bring me back. You get out."

"Out?" Dean questioned.

"Out of Hunting, Dean, you go back Lisa. Live that life you always wanted to live. I just want you to be happy man, I hope by some miracle she takes you back."

"What about y/n?" Dean asked subtly.

"What about her? She left. I hope she's happy wherever she is. But I can't have you trying to find her." Sam said seriously.

"Why not?" Dean side eyed Sam.

"Because then you two will try to bring me back. I need you to get away from this life Dean. I need you to promise, you'll go back to Lisa and you'll live the apple pie life." Sam explained. "Don't try to find Y/n again, I just want you two to be happy. And if you two keep trying to bring me back, you won't get out of this life." Dean looked at his brother and his heart raced a thousand miles per hour. "Promise me Dean."

"I promise."

Y/n paced back and forth in her room. She can't seem to get it all out of her mind. Damn you Cas, she cursed grabbing her stuff and her car keys. She threw her things in the backseat and left for Detroit.

For Dean, it all happened in a blink of eye yet it felt like time had slowed down. They met up with Lucifer after Sam had chugged down all that demon blood. Sam said Yes which allowed Lucifer to get inside Sam's body. Dean threw the key at the wall and said the incantation to open the cage. He saw Sam fighting for power over his body but then Sam said the incantation to close the cage. He took the key off the wall and pocketed it. Lucifer had taken over and Sam was gone. They lost.

The war was going to happen and there’s nothing Dean could do. He had the power to keep it at bay but then the angels had brought in Adam and Micheal had taken over him. The war was now inevitable. Millions of people were going to die. Michael and Lucifer will fight in Sam and Adam's bodies.

Dean called Chuck to ask him if he saw what happened and Chuck said he did. The Winchester asked the latter if he saw the outcome of the war but he denied saying he couldn't see that far. But he told him he knew when and where it'll happen.

"Where Chuck?"

"Tomorrow high noon, at Stull Cemetery." Dean hung up and revved the engine to meet up with Cas and Bobby. He couldn't sit there and wait for a duel to happen between two angels. He had to do something.

Y/n drove as fast as she could to reach Detroit and she saw Cas calling. She answered the phone keeping her eyes on the road.

"Cas?"

"We lost."

"WHAT?" She stomped the brakes. A screeching sound was heard.

"Sam couldn't take over his body. Lucifer closed the cage and took the key. Michael and Lucifer will fight." Cas told her.

"Wait how? Dean said he'd never say yes to Michael.." Cas cut her off.

"They brought in Adam."

"You know your kind is a bunch of assholes?" Y/n growled.

"I know, I wish things..!" Cas stopped talking as he heard Dean calling his name.

"Cas.. Bobby." Dean said approaching the two. Cas didn't hang up just shoved his phone back inside his pocket.

"What's going on Dean?" Bobby asked.

"I'm going to stop this war." She heard Dean say.

"What? You don't even know where or when it will happen" Cas replied.

"I know. Tomorrow noon, stull cemetery."

"But it's not possible. It's Michael and Lucifer. You can't stop them." Cas said solemnly.

"I can't just sit here and wait for destruction. I know I can't stop them, but my brother's in there. I can try." Dean said getting into his car.

Stull cemetery, Noon.

Y/n repeated those words in her head and she stepped on the Gas. She had to be there. She arrived there at before anyone else did and hid behind the bushes. She saw Sam walk in the cemetery but it wasn't her Sam anymore it was Lucifer. She watched as Adam appeared out of nowhere. It wasn't Adam anymore it was Michael.. The two talked for a while their voices getting louder and then she saw The Impala driving in , music blaring from the speakers. Her heart squeezed at the sight of Dean.

"Hey. We need to talk." He said walking towards Sam/Lucifer.

"Dean, even for you, this is a whole mountain of stupid." Lucifer said.

"I'm not talking to you I'm talking to my brother." He replied.

"You're not a vessel anymore." Adam/Micheal said.

"I just need five minutes."

"You have no right to be here. You're no longer a part of this story." Michael walking towards Dean when Cas called out to him.

"Hey, ass-butt." And threw a molotov cocktail at Michael but it was made of holy fire, which made him disappear. This made Lucifer angry.

"Castiel, did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?" Lucifer snarled at Castiel.

"No?" Cas answered, if it wasn't an apocalyptic situation Y/n would've laughed.

"No one dicks with Michael other than me." Lucifer said before disintegrating Cas to nothing.

Lucifer then moved towards Dean and grabbed him by the neck. Bobby shot at Lucifer to which he just flicked his hand and cracked Bobby's neck. Y/n couldn't just watch anymore. She jumped out from the bushes as Lucifer kept punching Dean. He threw him against the car and bashed his face with his bare hands.

"Dean." Y/n yelled as she ran towards him.

"Oh hello there darling." Lucifer said in a sickening voice. "I knew someone was missing when these two showed up. You were in Carthage weren't you?" He asked.

"Let him go." She said staring down at Lucifer. Dean was brutally beaten. His face was swollen and bloodied. His eyes were barely visible due to all the swelling on his face.

Lucifer threw Dean on the ground and he collided with the Impala. He groaned as he hit the car. He watched as Lucifer walked towards Y/n.

"Sammy don't do this please." She begged hoping he's in there listening.

"Sammy's not home darling." Lucifer snarled as he grabbed her by the neck. Pulling her off the ground. "You know I could've let you two live if you'd just stay away. I care about Sam and I know you two mean a lot to him. But you're so annoying, you two." Y/n gasped trying to get his hands off her.

"Sam please." She cried.

"Sammy." Dean groaned. "Let her go."

He looked at Dean and his gaze fell on the an action figure stuck in the Impala, something flashed in Lucifer's eyes and he let Y/n go. She gasped as she dropped to the ground. Coughing up as she tried to take as much air as she could. Lucifer looked at Dean and Y/n and the two looked back at him. It wasn't Lucifer. It was Sam. He immediately fished out the key from his pocket and threw it on the ground. He said the incantation to open the cage and it appeared on the floor. Sam turned to look back at Dean and Y/n. She was sobbing on the ground while Dean looked at Sam as if he was trying to remember his face. With one last look at his brother. Sam jumped. Michael reappeared trying to stop Sam from jumping in but he pulled him in too.

As soon as he jumped Cas came back to life. He pressed his two fingers to Bobby's head and brought him back to life. Castiel then walked to where Dean was and healed him completely.

"Cas, are you God?" Dean asked.

"That's a nice compliment but no." Cas replied. "But I believe he brought me back."

Dean nodded and looked around and saw Y/n still on the ground, sobbing. He turned back around and got into the Impala. He did what no one of them had expected. He drove off.

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @queensilber

[zmediaoutlet]

spn20rewatch, 1.08: "Kid should stick with his family."

There's a son who doesn't want the life his dad's laying out for him and feels his dad's disappointed in him more than his dad loves him. This tension's so great that it's causing a communication breakdown between the father and the son and bad shit might happen as a result. Where've we heard that before. --Oh, you thought I was talking about Sam.

We tend to make a lot of hay out of the things Sam says he wants versus the things Sam wants to want versus the things Sam actually does, but Dean's in much the same boat, a lot of the time. He just rows that boat a lot more quietly... often by being very loud about something else. You know the con artist tactic -- make a lot of noise and distraction over here, while your hands are doing something else over there? That's often how Dean talks about how he feels about hunting and the hunting life, while his actual impulses are quietly having him demonstrate something else.

Dean's a good son. Dean's loyal. Dean's a hunter and he thinks that dumb normie life is horrible. He'd blow his brains out if he had to grow up in suburbia with a 3br/2ba and a 9-5 and a lawn to mow and stability and good meals and safety and comfort and home. He doesn't want that at all, no sir. Hustling pool and killing monsters and nailing one night stands and being a hero, that's the life for him. 100%. Why would you ever, ever assume otherwise.

With the benefit of rewatch hindsight, it's easy to see that this is -- not a lie, not exactly, but it's certainly not all of the truth. In later episodes we'll get dozens of contradictions to the Dean The Hunter self-told mythology -- dreaming about a stable relationship, absolutely delighted in the bunker they'll later call home, wondering about what life could be like if they were done. But we also know that Dean is loyal, takes his responsibilities (as he sees them) seriously, and that there is no way that he could just -- stop. He'd sooner cut out his own lungs. He has a job to do, and he'll do it, and -- very importantly -- he knows the kind of person he'd be if he didn't. He knows how the moral structure of this universe operates and how much can go wrong if he doesn't obey it, and even if he does think sometimes about giving up, giving in, throwing in the towel and just being done with all this terrible responsibility -- even the thought of it is worth feeling guilty about. You had a job, and you didn't do it? What kind of pathetic piece of shit are you?

DEAN: Dad never treated us like that. SAM: Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember? DEAN: Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes, you were out of line. SAM: (scoffs) Right. Right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bowhunting. DEAN: Bowhunting's an important skill.

And so it doesn't matter if you'd rather have played soccer. If you thought maybe you'd like to go to college. If there was a girl you liked in a particular town and you wish you could've stayed. If you wanted to be safe in bed instead of crouching fearful in the dark wanting to be anywhere other than waiting for a monster to catch your scent, because your job right now is to be bait, so that other kids will be safe. Later we'll learn that Dean did talk back and defy John and that as punishment John would send him away from the family unit; that he made the mistake of getting caught stealing, and as punishment he's left in a boy's home. He left Sam for a few hours one night, and Sam almost died, and John didn't even have to say anything because Dean knew how badly his normal wants almost ruined everything.

The above conversation doesn't contradict those later details at all, because what's important is how Dean reacts to those punishments. Whatever internal wants he has don't matter. He has to say out loud and perform out loud that, yes, hunting is important and you must stick with your family and bowhunting is an important skill -- because it is! This is Supernatural and he is a protagonist and he must save people, or he's a wastrel who doesn't deserve screentime. But also -- what would it mean, if he didn't believe that? If he admitted that this wasn't what he wanted? What would it mean about all the choices he'd made, all he'd given up in the defense of this life he performs to the hilt, if he admitted out loud that -- actually --

Safer, in the end, to say that what you want is exactly what you have. Then you don't have to look at what it means about you (and about the family you hold as more important than literally anything else on the earth) that you were willing to give up everything else.

[brooooswriting]

Writer's block :( Noooo

I hope following prompts help

" why wouldn't i save you? "

“ why is it so difficult for you to believe that you deserve to be protected? “

" i'm on my way. "

" get out of here! now! "

" it's all over now. don't panic. it's not my blood. "

with Tara (I don't quite remember if you write for her if you don't pick another <Jenna's preferably>character idm ;))

Now you don't have to use them all I just put them there so you can have options. Use as many as you want

I hope writers block goes away :)

And don't push yourself <3

Protective

Jenna Ortega x reader

Slight Scream 6 spoilers

A/N: I feel like this is a mess but have fun reading it Ig🫡

‘How the fuck did I get into this?’ Was a common question in your head at the moment as you were being chased by some psychopath with ghost face mask.

You were friends with Anika, have been for a while, and at the same time you were her tutor. You were two semesters above her and started tutoring to earn money, the girl who has seen you around every now and then was your third student. Somehow, along the line you guessed, it became some kind of friendship, which then pulled you into her friend group. Often you’d sit in her dorm and explain stuff when the whole group let themselves inside, talking loudly while you tried to keep her focused.

And while Anika was focused on anything but you, a certain brunette was focused on nothing but you. She stared at you the whole time, every time but when you tried to talk to her she acted cold. It was confusing and it makes the situation you were in right now even more confusing.

But, at some point you finally got her to talk to you, and she even asked you for help for her math class. It went great, she was extremely nice and friendly and you started to fall for the girl. It felt like she also fell for you as she’d always be with you. People barely saw you alone anymore, if one of you came it was pretty sure that the other one was gonna be there too. You often slept over as you fell asleep cuddling. It was perfect and you were staring to build up the confidence to ask her if she wanted to make whatever you guys had official.

Until she suddenly pulled away, Sam did too. Chad and Mindy were quieter and the only one who was still normal was Anika. You wrecked your brain, trying to figure out what you did, if you hurt Tara in any way or said something wrong, but nothing came to mind. Tara hadn’t talked to you in over 6 days, she ignored your messages and calls and changed her path when she saw you. Anika knew the reason but she didn’t tell you as she said that it was something the girl had to tell you herself.

It was during one of your tutoring sessions when you got a text from Tara asking you to come to their apartment but you agreed nonetheless, saying that you’d arrive in around an hour and a half. After the session you went and changed into some sweatpants before making your way towards the carpenters apartment, sending a quick ‘i’m on my way’ text. You were looking around the city, enjoying the quietness, well as quiet as New York could be, until you suddenly heard something shatter which caused you to flinch. You kept walking towards the sound, discovering that it came from a small store, another sound emerging from the store. A gun shot and a scream, the voice so sweet it could only be from one person, Tara.

You ran towards the store to see some dressed up fucker with a gun, you couldn’t see the brunette but decided that you’d have to act nonetheless. Quickly hiding behind the wall, you started to think of a plan, you knew the gun as it was the same one your grandfather had for when he went hunting, you knew that it was able to fit 7 bullets before you had to reload (I don’t know shit about guns, sorry:0). You had already counted four and two just followed now. You relaxed a bit when no sound followed the shots, it hopefully meant that the bullet didn’t hit anybody.

You looked inside again, finally seeing your crush and her sister as they were crawling on the ground trying to escape. The younger girl tried to shoo you away the moment she saw you but how could you leave when she was in danger?

The moment the 7th shot fell you started sprinting, the four years you played football finally being useful as you tackled the person to the ground. The two of you fell, you on top pushing the gun as far away as you could. You didn’t expect them to pull a knife from somewhere. They slit your arm causing you to fall back, giving them the advantage of being on top, the knife now slicing through the skin on your stomach. Tara’s scream could be heard throughout the entire store causing you to turn your head until you could see her, Sam was holding her back. You could see that she was trying to figure out how she could help you without risking Tara. “Get out of here! now!” You screamed as you were finally able to turn you and the person with the knife again.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Sam pulling the smaller girl outside, relieve bubbling in your chest. For a small second you forgot what situation you were in. After a bit of wrestling you somehow got ahold of the knife, pushing it into their stomach around two times before you heard a sirens. The psychopath underneath you suddenly threw you off with newfound strength and disappeared, police started swarming inside only to find you with a bit of blood smeared on you.

“Why’d you save me?” Tara asked you as you sat in a cop car on your way to the station, Sam in the front you and Tara in the back. “Why wouldn’t I save you?” You were so confused, the girl grew so much on you that just the thought of her getting hurt broke your heart. “Are you fucking stupid? You put yourself in unbelievable danger, youre crazy, out of your mind” she said with a raised voice, “yeah, I put myself in danger to safe you, I didn’t do it for nothing” you answered trying to keep your cool.

“That’s what I just said! You’re crazy, you were ready to sacrifice yourself for someone like me. Do you know how crazy and stupid that is?” She kept on talking about how stupid you were for doing something like that for someone like her. It went on until you arrived inside the police station where you decided to put an End to it, you had listened to her degrade herself for over 10 minutes now and it was enough.

“Why is it so difficult for you to believe that you deserve to be protected?” You asked her, your voice raised this time. The way she talked about herself made her angry. “Because I don’t” she screamed back as some officer lead you into an interrogation room. “Who made you believe that shit?!” You asked, your voice still loud but this time Tara only looked down. You added a ‘huh?’ to finally make her answer but it only caused Sam to speak up.

“Y/n, I think that’s enough” she tried to keep her calm as she understood both sides and at the moment she was only happy that you were there to save them. “No Sam, I wanna know who made her feel like that so I can kill them for doing that to her” you countered, maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to say at that moment but you were so full of hate that you didn’t think straight. “I already did” you turned to Tara, your face filled with surprise. “Amber, my ex girlfriend, was the ghost face in the attack that happened last year. She used me and my trust, so she could kill me and Sam. She killed two of my best friends, our sheriff, she nearly killed Chad and Mindy and I shot her when she tried to kill Sam. All these people were in danger because I trusted her! That’s why I don’t deserve to be protected. Everybody who is around me is in danger! You shouldn’t even talk to me but you wouldn’t leave me alone!” Tears fell from her eyes as she explained, Sam was also quietly sniffling behind you.

“You can’t really think that” your voice was the complete opposite of what it had been just a couple of minutes before, it was soft and quiet, soothing. You kneeled in front of her, your hand carefully landing on her knee while the other one reached up to caress her cheek. She melted into your touch causing your heart to skip a beat. “What that girl did to you was terrible and what these people are trying to do to you now is just as terrible. But it’s not your fault, these people are crazy and psychotic, they shouldn’t be living freely. And if you think that I didn’t know who you were is kinda cute, I heard some people talk about it in class, but the thing is, I didn’t care. Because I got to know the real you and whoever says that you and Sam are crazy killers or some shit do not know you. You are amazing Tara and if you ask me, you’re totally worth dying for. I mean it”

Your thumb wiped away her flowing tears before she threw herself at you causing you to crash to the ground. Her arms wrapped around your neck as she sat on your lap with her face buried in your neck. “You knew who I was the whole time and didn’t say anything?” She pulled her head away as she spoke to look at you, “well, I figured the topic would make you uncomfortable, so I didn’t say anything. I guessed that you would talk about it once you’re ready” you told her as your hands stroked her back. She leaned forward and planted a kiss on your lips. “Once this is over, we are going on a date”

“Yes ma’am”

You couldn’t wait for this to be over

————————————————————————

So this kinda sucks but if I try to rewrite it I’ll never finish it and it will just sit in my drafts forever. Sorry

[kiszka-jake]

Road Not Taken: Chapter 3

Jake’s POV- October 2023

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and shifted my eyes to glance at Katie in the passenger seat. She had her window down and the crisp fall air was blowing her hair around. She was squinting in the sun with a small smile on her face. I wonder if she was thinking of all the times we drove around like this. She felt my eyes on her and looked over at me with her smile still in place. 

“I can’t believe you invited yourself to lunch, and convinced me to ride with you.” 

I felt the buzz I always used to get around her slowly creeping back in as I responded, “I just figured you probably missed hanging out with me.”

She shook her head and turned to look out the window at all the places we grew up going to. Every time I’ve been back to this town in the last 5 years, I’ve thought of her. There’s not one place we didn’t go to or have a memory in. Her ghost is always waiting for me around every corner. Part of the reason I avoid coming back here. 

I cleared my throat and hesitated before I spoke up again, “You know, I got the idea for that line in Flower Power on one of our car rides like this.” She kept looking out the window and ignored me,“The star shines in her eyes line.” I stammered. 

I saw the pink flush she always hated creeping up her cheeks. 

“I always liked that line” she mumbled while avoiding my gaze. We pulled into the parking lot and she quickly hopped out of the car to avoid any more conversation with me. I sat silently in the restaurant and enjoyed the familiar presence of the four of us again. She has a genuine and natural way of interacting with my brothers that I’ve never been able to replicate with any other girl. I can never tell who’s just using me and sometimes I’m okay with that. Other times, it leaves me longing for something real. 

“We should order the stuffed mushrooms to start. Weren’t those always your favorite?” Sam asked Katie. 

She scrunched her freckled nose and shook her head. “I wish. I used to love them, but I haven’t been able to stomach them since I got sick after having them when I was pregnant.” 

Josh and Sam already moved on from her comment and were back to flipping through the menu. I couldn’t move past it. 

“How did you decide to keep it?” I asked her.

Her head shot up from her menu as she looked at me with a confused look. 

“Lyla. How did you decide you wanted to keep her.”

Josh kicked me under the table, but I ignored him.

“Hey, listen you don’t have to answer him. He shouldn’t have asked that.” Josh interjected while glaring at me. 

She waved her hand to brush him off and locked eyes with me. 

“It’s okay. I guess we don’t really know each other anymore,so it’s normal to have questions.” Her fingers traced the edge of her menu while she kept her eyes on mine, “I don’t really know honestly. It just felt right.” 

I blinked to get a moment of relief from her piercing green eyes that could always tell what I was thinking. 

“Even though you knew you’d have to do it alone?” 

“Yes. I knew I could do it.” Her face was hard and her voice steady. 

We stared at each other in silence as I took in her words. I knew I shouldn’t say my next thought, but it came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop it.

“Well, it seems like a dumb decision since you didn’t graduate from Harvard. That was your dream. That’s all you cared about.” 

Josh kicked me even harder under the table as her eyes started to well up with tears. She fought them off as she answered me.

“I’ve never regretted Lyla for one second. She’s amazing and special in so many ways that you’ll never understand.” She said it quickly while pushing her chair back from the table and walked quickly to the restroom. 

I watched her go until the door closed, and turned to find Josh and Sam both staring at me with stunned expressions. 

“Are you trying to make her hate you again? I think it’s working.” Sam said with an eye roll as he flagged down our waiter. 

Katie’s POV- October 2023

My hands were gripping the edge of the porcelain sink as I stared at myself in the dirty  mirror. I don’t know why I thought I could handle hanging out with Jake again. Or any of them. It was insane to think I could talk freely about our daughter with him. Our daughter. She’s his too. My fingers wrapped around the sink even tighter at the thought. Sam and Josh are her uncles. They’re the family I know she longs for even if she cant articulate it yet. 

I pulled my phone out and stared at the Lock Screen. It’s a selfie she took of us at the park last week. I looked at her perfect heart shaped face and saw the entire Kiszka family in it. Her big smile that looks just like Jake’s. Her perfectly pink lips that look just like Josh’s. Her brown eyes that are shaped exactly like Sam’s. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared at the picture. She’s half me too. Everything she knows is what I taught her. Her loud and wild spirit, her kindness. It all comes from me. 

I slid the phone back in my pocket and took one last look in the mirror while giving myself a fake smile. I walked back to the table with the tiniest amount of pride left and immediately started talking to Josh about his life to change the subject. He was waving his hands around and happily explaining to me how they play arenas now and people come from all over to see them. I was nodding along to his story, but my eyes still slid over to look at Jake. 

He had his hand on Josh’s shoulder and was agreeing with whatever he said. He was even more beautiful than he used to be. His hair was just a little longer, his jaw a little more angular. Josh said something that suddenly made him burst out laughing and flash his signature smile with all his teeth showing. I felt my breath catch as I pictured Lyla again. 

They spent the rest of the lunch telling me stories of all their adventures and accomplishments. Every story left me with a sense of awe that the boys I grew up with could do all of that. When it was time to go, Jake finally spoke to me again.

“Do you want me to take you back to your parents?” His tone was cautious and filled with a hint of apology for what he said earlier. We didn’t need to discuss it again. We can just add it to the list of things we’re both sorry for. 

I glanced at Josh and Sam who were walking just a little bit ahead of us on the cracked parking lot pavement. He followed my gaze and spoke again. “Or you can ride with them.” 

I wanted to tell him no and run after his brothers, but my brain couldn’t catch up with my mouth. 

“No, you can take me.”

He smiled a little to himself as we walked to his black Jeep. He turned the radio up on our favorite rock station and I felt myself relax as he curved around the backroads. If I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend we were still high schoolers and not two adults running from our past. 

He pulled up in front of my house to my dad  kicking around a soccer ball with Lyla. I grabbed the door handle to jump out and say my final goodbye to him for the next ten years, but suddenly he was opening his door too.

“Uh what are you doing.” I asked.

He smirked at me and continued to get out of the car. 

“Well, you ignored me yesterday so I didn’t get to really hang out with the miniature version of you.” 

I could feel my heart beating faster as I hurried around to the front of the jeep to intercept him. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this possibility when I agreed to the ride. 

“It’s okay really. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in my life still.” 

I think I almost had him convinced, but my dad chose that exact moment to wave and yell his name. 

He smiled and waved back and excitedly slammed his door. He walked closer to me and grabbed my hand to drag me along. 

“Well, I can’t ignore your dad.” He said with an incredulous tone. 

Jake’s POV- October 2023

I can’t believe I just grabbed her hand. My pulse is racing, but it’s like no time has passed at all. Her hand naturally relaxed in mine as she lagged a couple steps behind me. Lyla was bouncing up and down and ran over to her when we got closer. She dropped my hand to scoop her up in a hug. Why am I disappointed that she dropped my hand? 

“You gave me the doggy.” Lyla said in that squeaky voice all little kids have. 

I shoved my hands in my pockets to erase the empty feeling they had. 

“Yep, I sure did.” 

She wiggled out of Katie’s arms and came to stand in front of me. She really did look just like Katie up close. They have the same heart shaped face,same brown hair with golden flecks in the sun. The only indication that someone else was involved in creating her is her brown eyes. She put her hand on her hips and looked up at me just like Katie used to when I annoyed her. 

“How do you know my mommy?” 

I bent down to her level and stuck out of my hand. 

“I’m Jake. I’m your mommy’s friend. We met when we were your age.” 

She giggled and grabbed my hand, but quickly frowned at the roughness. 

“I play a lot of guitar.” I said as an explanation.

Her tiny face broke out in a huge smile as she whipped her brown curls around to face Katie. 

“Maybe he knows my daddy!” She shouted while bouncing on the tips of her pink converse. 

She whipped back around to face me, “Mommy always says my daddy is going to teach me how to play guitar.” 

I smiled at her and glanced up at Katie. “Wow, you just replaced me with another musician?” 

Her cheeks had their familiar pink flush as she stuck her hand out towards Lyla. Lyla slipped her hand into hers as they started to walk up towards the two story brick house. Lyla turned to wave at me as Katie finally spoke. “Hes a better player than you.” 

Damn, it’s still hot when she fucks with me. 

I watched them walk inside, oblivious to the fact that her dad was still there. 

“I’m glad you guys are hanging out again,” He said as he clamped his hand on my shoulder. 

I felt myself tense up on reflex like I was still in high school and he was giving me the curfew.

“It’s more like I forced myself into hanging out with her.” I replied as I slipped my sunglasses back on and reached into my pocket for the car keys. I raised my hand in a mock salute and turned towards the jeep when he interjected.

“I hate to ask this…” 

I paused and turned back around the face him. He looked a little embarrassed and I got a sick satisfaction out of having something he seemingly wants. 

“Lyla, really wants to know how to play guitar.” He shrugged his shoulders and sighed when he said it. “We still have one of your old guitars in the basement. I was thinking maybe you could show her a couple things.” 

A slow smile broke out across my face as I realized this would get me more time with Katie. I would never say no to him, but maybe I can get a little more information to use to my advantage first.

“Her dad doesn’t want to teach her?” I posed the question and studied his face for the answer. His face flashed with disappointment and a hint of anger. 

“She’s never met her dad.” He replied. “Katie said they just had a class together and in the end he didn’t want a baby.” 

“Yeah that’s what Kate told us, but I figured he had at least met her.” I said. 

He shook his head and gave me a sad look. 

I shoved the car keys back in my jeans pocket and started walking up the grass to the house. 

“I never really liked any of those Harvard douche bags anyways.” I said with a smirk as I passed him.

I felt a piece of the same anger that he had. Katie was my girlfriend for years, but she was my best friend first. She didn’t deserve to be treated like shit and I feel like I have the right to be defensive on her behalf still. She would probably disagree and say she can take care of herself. 

I turned the door knob and entered the familiar living room. The bright white walls, the faded green couch, the dark wood floors. The sound of my boots were muffled by the worn rug as I rounded the corner to the basement steps. I made my way down and turned the light on to illuminate our old hang out spot. Everything looked frozen in time and my old guitar was still on the stand in the corner. 

I wrapped my hand around the neck and headed back upstairs. I could hear Katie’s laugh coming from her bedroom. Why does being back in her house and hearing her laugh fill me with anxiety? I can play to 20,000 people and be less nervous. I tightened my grip on the guitar and felt myself relax a little. 

They were on the floor playing with Barbie’s when I entered the doorway. Lyla looked up from her half dressed doll and smiled while Katie gave me a confused look. Her gaze stopped on the guitar on my hand as she opened her mouth.

“Uh did you come to give us a private concert…?” She asked.

I ignored her question as my eyes wandered the room. The same purple walls and matching bedspread. The first Greta Van Fleet poster Josh ever drew was still taped on her closet door next to pictures of us at the lake. The memories of us growing up together are all immortalized in this room. 

I cleared my throat and looked back at her on the floor where she was waiting for my response.  Odds of her telling me to leave were pretty high, so I decided to hedge my bets and talk to Lyla. She can’t tell me to leave once she’s excited. 

“Your grandpa told me you wanted to learn guitar.” I said to her as I slid down on the floor next to them. Her face immediately lit up and she started squealing in excitement.

I chuckled a little as I took in her response.”I guess that would be a yes.” I said as I started tuning the guitar. Katie gave me a disapproving look. I raised my hands in mock surrender and she sighed and busied herself the dolls scattered on the floor. 

“Alright,” I said as I finished tuning. “This is a little big for you, but you can still learn the basics.” I flipped the guitar around and placed it on Lyla’s lap. Her face peered over the top as she tried to unsuccessfully wrap her fingers around the neck. 

Her brown eyes were staring at me and I saw the question forming before she opened her mouth.

“How do I know you can play guitar?” She asked with a concerned look on her face. 

Katie tried to stifle a laugh as I looked at her with a stunned expression. I took the guitar back from Lyla and started absentmindedly strumming chords. 

“I didn’t know 4 year olds spoke in fully formed sentences.” I said to Katie. 

“I’m almost 5.” Lyla quickly said with a hint of attitude. 

“She started talking on her 1st birthday and hasn’t stopped since.” Katie replied as she tugged on one of Lyla’s curls and looked at her proudly. Lyla nodded along in agreement and said “My teacher always tells me I’m smart.”

I shook my head and smiled at her as I kept strumming the guitar. Playing makes me relaxed and seeing Katie with Lyla is somehow making me want her more. “That makes sense considering your mom is a genius.” I said while locking eyes with Katie. She flashed me a polite smile and leaned back against the bed behind her. 

“To answer your question,” I began again as I looked back at Lyla,” I learned to play guitar when I was your age and I’m in a band.” I jerked my chin towards to poster on the wall. “That band actually.” She whipped her head around to look at the poster and then back at me. She shrugged her shoulders and seemed to be satisfied with my answer. 

I placed the guitar back on her lap and placed her glitter painted fingers on the frets. “So now you just take your other hand and go like this.” I said as I ran her hand down the strings. She beamed at Katie as the sound of the chord filled the room. 

“I did it mommy!” She exclaimed as she strummed up and down again. I sat back and took in her excitement. I glanced over at Katie to see she had her phone out recording her. I leaned back into the frame and faced the camera, “And that was the Jake Kiszka guitar tutorial.” I said as I pointed at the camera.

Katie let out a laugh as she lowered the phone. The first real laugh I’d earned from her in years. Lyla was busy plucking different strings when Katie scooted over and put her arm around my neck in a half hug. 

“Thank you.” She said quietly as she pulled back from me and started playing with Lyla. My body was still tingling from her touch as I watched the flush creeping up her cheeks. 

“Mommy?” Lyla suddenly said ending our moment. “Can Jake come to my birthday party tomorrow?” 

Katie seemed to snap back to her reality of hating me as she struggled to find an excuse. 

I pushed up off the grey carpet and turned to head towards the door.

“I have to leave to go to see some family now, but tomorrow I’m all yours.” I said. Lyla smiled happily and jumped up to hug me. I patted the top of her head, not really sure how to interact with kids. “It’s a date.” I said with a wink to Katie as I backed out her room towards the steps. 

Katie’s POV- October 2023

“Okay Lyla, we’re ready for the reveal!” Grace yelled into the hallway. I could hear Lyla’s giggle as she started to push the door open.

“Tada!” She yelled as she threw her arms up and posed. My mom took her shopping and let her pick out a special birthday outfit. She twirled around in a pink glittery dress, rainbow glitter converse and a princess tiara. 

I knelt down and pulled her into a hug and rocked her back and forth. “You look absolutely beautiful, Ly,” I pulled back and held her out at arms length. “You definitely look like a five year old now.” 

She was giddy with the thought of the cake and presents that would be coming her way today. She gave me her big smile as she started to turn away. “I’m gonna go show grandpa!” She yelled as she ran down the steps. 

“That was such a Josh way to pose.” Grace said as she flipped back on my childhood bed. I laid next to her and we stared at the ceiling in silence. 

“God, they’re all in every part of her.” I whispered  to Grace as I watched the ceiling fan spin. Her long blonde hair splayed out around her as she turned her head to look at me. 

“And every part of you raised her.” She said as she reached for my hand to squeeze it. 

•••••••••••••

Lyla skipped ahead through the glass doors and we were sucked into the commotion of the bowling alley. I had my fifth birthday party here, so it was fitting for Lyla to do the same. She was being greeted by all of family members that came to celebrate her when he walked in. 

He smiled and waved at me as he made his way over to our lane. He was dressed way too cool for a 5th birthday party in Michigan. He had on dark jeans, a navy button down that was only half done, scuffed black boots, an excessive amount of necklaces and dark sunglasses that probably made it look like it was midnight inside. 

“This is definitely the best party I’ve been to all year.” He said when he reached me. 

I sank down into one the plastic chairs and rolled my eyes in response. “Yes, I’m sure all the Hollywood parties are very lame.” I said. 

He pulled out the chair next to me and looked around at the other tables filled with my family members. If any of them noticed his presence, they didn’t acknowledge it. It actually seemed like they were actively avoiding coming over to us. Probably my dad stopping everyone so we could talk. He couldn’t stop going on about how great Jake is last night. 

“I hate LA,” He said while pulling an envelope out of his pocket, “and this is for Lyla.” 

I took the envelope out of his hand and lifted the flap to look inside. It contained a glittery princess birthday card and $500. 

I looked at him with a stunned expression, but couldn’t read his with the sunglasses still on.

“Ok, first of all you need to take off the sunglasses. We’re in Frakenmuth.” I said with a hint of disbelief. 

A smile was playing on his perfect lips as he reached up to remove them and shove them in his shirt pocket. “So what’s the second thing?” He asked.

I held up the card as an explanation. He blinked and started speaking slowly. 

“Does she not like princesses? I just assumed…” he said as his voice trailed off. 

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to play dumb. “Who gives a five year old five hundred dollars, Jake?” 

A laugh escaped his lips as he took the card back from me and opened it. He grabbed 4 of the bills and handed it back to me with one left inside.

“I figured I’d give her a hundred bucks for every year, but you can just give her this then.” He said as an explanation. 

I can’t tell if he’s trying to show off how rich he is now or if he’s just that oblivious. He fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist and I watched the muscles in his hand twitch as we sat in silence. Lyla was rolling a bowling bowl down the lane with my grandpa when he spoke up.

“Listen, I really just came here to ask you to come to our show tomorrow,” his jaw was tense and he was looking at me intently to study my reaction to his words, “it’s in Detroit. I have to rehearse in the morning, but we can hang out tomorrow before the show.”

I immediately start shaking my head no and opened my mouth to reject him. “Jake. We can’t“

He had a pleading look on his face as he cut me off, “Please don’t say no. The guys miss you, and it would be fun.” 

I shook my head again and looked over at Lyla to avoid his gaze. “We can’t just hang out and pretend again. I’m sorry Jake.”

I felt his hand on my arm and I shifted my eyes to look at his beautiful face that was practically begging me to say yes. 

“Are you waiting for me to say sorry still? If I do that, will you come?” His question came out as a whisper that I barely heard above the noise of pins falling.

I moved my arm over so his fingers fell to the table. “I think you should just go. Thank you for the card. I’ll tell Lyla you said bye.” I said it quickly to get it all out before I changed my mind. He tapped his ring on the metal table and scooted the chair back. I kept my eyes forward, but still felt him standing over me. He paused for a moment a like he was going to say something else before he finally turned and walked away. 

••••••

Chapter 4 goes CRAZY. Trust.

tag: @fleetingjake @hollyco @sammysstolenbirks

[braveclementine]

Chapter 3

Warnings: None. (Will however be a 18+ reader book)

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Seriously, where were you?" Your sister demanded, arms crossed, looking down at your slumped frame against the door.

"It's a long story. Like a long, long story." You muttered, getting your feet, trudging past your younger sister to get to the kitchen, "What's for dinner?"

"I thought you came home from work early?" Y/S/N scrutinized.

You sighed. "I did. Then I went for a week. I mean a walk. And I met my soulmates."

"All of them?" Y/S/N asked incredulously.

You nodded.

"So why are you so glum? Was it to painful hearing all of their names at once?"

"Am I glum?" You questioned in surprise. "I'm not unhappy. . . just surprised and a little overwhelmed."

"Do you like them?" Y/S/N asked.

"Oh yeah, they're great." You responded, trying to figure out how you would categorize them. "Everyone likes them."

"Who are they?"

"The Avengers."

Silence.

She snorted, "Y/N-"

You sighed, holding your arm out. "Spider-Man dropped me off."

Silence again.

"How much do they know about you?" She asked.

"Nothing. And I know nothing about them."

"Oh, well I got a song that could help with that. It's called We didn't start the fire. It's a lovely little song, lets you know small tidbits about the superheroes."

"Ah." You muttered.

"So, who all did you get?"

She sat down across from you, taking your arm into her hands. "Oh my God Thor? Lucky bitch. Oh my God and Tony Stark and the King of Wakanda and Steve Rogers? Oh, but you got Loki and Bucky though."

"They're not that bad." You said with a frown. "Loki was actually very. . . sweet."

"He tried to take over Earth."

"Minor character flaw?"

"And Bucky is a trained assassin!"

"Because HYDRA messed with his brain." You pointed out. "Not him himself."

"Mm, fair enough. Are you sure you'll be okay around them though?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" You felt your feathers being ruffled slightly as your younger sister had a go at some of your soulmates.

"I'm just saying, some of them are dangerous. And they work in a dangerous line of business. If the wrong people found out that you were half- probably more than half- of the Avengers soulmates, you could be a target!"

"It's not like I have a choice!" You snapped. "They're my soulmates and that's that. I can't change it. I can't just walk away from it. Alright? I would give anything to be normal and have just one, maybe two soulmates. You know I've always covered these up. You know I've never wanted an entire freaking orgy of soulmates!"

"Alright, chill girl." Y/S/N said. "I'm just saying, you're going to have to be prepared. It's not everyday you find out your soulmate is the King of Wakanda."

"Right." You murmured.

"And for dinner, Y/S/BF/N (Your sister's boyfriend's name) and I are going out for dinner." your sister finished. "You're welcome to join us, of course."

Though they were married, she wasn't quite eighteen yet and wasn't allowed to move in with him until she turned of age. However, if soulmates found their mate before eighteen they were allowed to get married at the earliest age of sixteen. However, they had to be eighteen to live together.

And the reason that we weren't with our parents was because. . . well that's a whole other story.

"I'll cook." You yawned, not even sure if you were hungry.

"Alright." She said, dancing out of her chair and heading for the front hallway, "See you when I get home."

The door closed behind her.

You sighed, getting out of your chair to pad into the kitchen. Opening the cupboards and refrigerator, you went easy on yourself and threw together a small meal of Y/F/F.

*Meanwhile at the Avengers Compound*

Tony, Stephen, Thor, Loki, Steve, Bucky, Sam, Clint, T'Challa, Rhodey, and Fury all sat in a large living room like room.

"I can't believe we all have the same soulmate." Rhodey sighed. He was very simple, liked everything simple. He would've been pleased to have a soulmate that was with him and him alone. He'd always liked having only one band. Just the two of them and a family. Well, now things were just slightly- a lot- complicated.

Tony rested his chin on Stephen's shoulder, "I'm not sure why you're surprised. We've all seen each other's wrists everyday. We all knew we'd have the same soulmate. The colours always changed at the same time and everything."

"We'll have to keep an eye on her." Fury said, always in survival mode. "Make sure that she's a safe person to have around, and make sure that she's never in danger."

"You worry to much." Clint said.

"Why don't we just invite her into the tower?" Steve asked. "We have plenty of rooms upstairs."

"We did just meet her. . . six hours ago." Loki deadpanned. "I doubt she'll be highly receptive to move in so early."

"I'm already planning weddings in my head." Thor announced happily, munching on a pop tart.

Loki groaned, putting his head in his hand. "To fast, much to fast."

"We could all just spend some one-on-one time with her, or as groups." T'Challa suggested. "Stephen and Tony. The three of you. Thor and Loki. Clint and Rhodey. Fury and I. That way we're not overwhelming her with to many people that she needs to get to know. And we can also get to know her better than if all twelve of us tried to get to know her at the same time."

"That's a good idea." Sam said, shrugging.

"I'm more worried about your guys wedding." A new voice said from the doorway. Dr. Banner stood, leaning in the doorway.

"Come again?" Rhodey asked.

Bruce sighed, walking forward, folding his glasses up to stick in his pocket, "For example, Nat and I. When we got married, she got a bit of my hulk strength and in return, I got some of her flexibility. We have two gods, two super soldiers, and one immortal here. I don't know how exactly that'll work on her body. Not to mention, the fact that Fury is bonded to Agent Hill means that she will get something from Agent Hill as well, even though they're not bonded. Like how Fury got a trait from Coulson even though they aren't bonded, because Coulson and Hill are bonded."

"Is there even a way to make sure she doesn't get our more. . . dangerous traits?" Bucky asked quietly, his metal hand clenching into a fist.

"It's random." Bruce said with a shake of his head. "You'll just have to wish luck. It's not like you can put it off, you know. You have one year to court her and a second year to get the wedding together. Especially since she's over the age of eighteen."

"This is exhausting." Rhodey grumbled.

"I also agree with Steve." Bruce continued, putting his hands into his pockets, "It would be much safer for her to move into the Compound or the Tower, whichever you guys feel you'd rather live at."

"Let's invite her over tomorrow!" Tony said enthusiastically, practically bouncing up and down where he sat. Stephen flicked his ear lightly. "Knock it off."

"I say we go with T'Challa's idea." Stephen said simply. "Start with one of the groups tomorrow."

"Yeah, she takes the taxi to work so I could drive her." Tony said enthusiastically.

Rhodey groaned, "I don't even want to know how you know she takes the taxi to work."

"Well, it is New York." Sam pointed out. "Almost everyone takes Taxis or subways. It's a pain to try and drive your own car."

"Yes! Stephen and I will drive her tomorrow!" Tony said, bouncing again.

Bruce cleared his throat as Stephen flicked Tony's ear again, "You should go in reverse order of meeting her. So Stephen and Loki could take her to work tomorrow."

Everyone stared at Bruce.

"You want me to work with the guy who made me fall for thirty minutes?" Loki questioned.

"Sure." Bruce said with a shrug. "Or it can be Stephen and Fury and then you and Thor. But as she's already spent a bit of time with King T'Challa and Tony, well it's probably a good idea to start with those she barely met. That way you aren't starting off with supposed favoritism."

"That makes sense." Steve said, stroking Bucky's hair.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled." Nick said, getting up out of the chair he'd been sitting in. "See you at the next meeting. Don't die."

"Cheerful." Clint muttered before moving away to probably go and sleep in the vents.

The others dispersed accordingly.

*Next Day*

There was a knock on the door as you put the finishing touches to your makeup, getting ready for work. A white blouse covered about half of your lines, showing about four of them. A knee-length black skirt and your heels were somewhere in the front hallway, only to be put on last minute.

You hurried down the hallway- your sister having already left for school- opening the door which revealed a rather comfortable looking Stephen Strange wearing blue jeans, a red T-shirt, and a black suit jacket you swore probably belonged to Tony. And also a rather uncomfortable looking Loki who was dressed in the same black outfit as yesterday.

"Oh." You said in obvious surprise, not expecting two of your soulmates you'd met for about a minute and twelve seconds standing on your doorstep. "Er- come in."

"Do you normally let strangers into your house?" Loki asked as they stepped inside. You'd headed back down the hallway to put the makeup case away.

"Only charming ones." You called over your shoulder without looking back.

"I like her." Loki snickered.

You blushed as you shoved everything away before shutting off the bathroom.

"Sorry, but I am on my way to work." You said apologetically.

"We know, we're here to take you there." Stephen said with a shrug. "Thought you'd prefer it to spending money on a taxi or a subway ticket."

"Thank you." You said. "Lead the way then."

You shut off the lights in the apartment, wishing it was just slightly cleaner before you met Loki and Stephen back at the front door.

"We spoke as a group last night." Stephen said as the three of you stood in the elevator. "We said we'd take the relationship as slowly as possible within the Government rules, that way we don't overwhelm you."

"Thank you." You answered sincerely. "I didn't expect to meet all eleven of my soulmates on one day. Or expect that they'd all know each other. Or that half of them would have super powers of some sort of well, no offense Mr. Laufeyson, but not entirely human."

"You can call me Loki. No offense taken. I know I'm a God." Loki said with a slight smirk.

You studied him out of the corner of your eye. He was truly a beautiful specimen. No facial hair, his face extremely smooth with a pale complexion. His inky black hair was curly in waves. He carried himself with an air of elegance and self-assurance.

I flicked my eyes to look at the opposite man. He was just as tall, his facial hair giving a very smart appearance. His eyes looked like galaxies, his hair smooth and combed over on his head. He was a bit more relaxed than Loki was, though Loki had relaxed more since the front door.

The car that was waiting in front of the apartment building made you raise an eye. "This is yours?"

"Tonys." Stephen said it like an explanation.

"Of course." You murmured. Loki opened the back door so that the two of you could climb into the back while Stephen climbed into the passenger seat.

"This is Happy." Stephen introduced the two of you.

Happy simply nodded and you gave a smile, settling back into your seat.

"Would you like to come to the Avengers Tower after work?" Loki asked quietly.

You thought about it, "Yes, that sounds nice. Thank you. Are you sure I won't be imposing?"

"Not at all. Steve, Tony, and Clint are all for you moving in yesterday." Stephen chuckled. "Some of us had to convince them that it's a little to soon and that you might get overwhelmed if we asked you to move in with us today."

"Thor is ecstatic." Loki murmured, "He's already planning weddings in his mind. Mind you though, he's been without a soulmate for a thousand and a half years."

"Haven't you as well?" I questioned.

"No, only 1,058 years." Loki said with a smirk. "442 years less."

I chuckled. "I'm surprised though. Would've thought as Gods you would've had several soulmates?"

"For the longest time we didn't even have colours. Of course, that's not uncommon when it comes to Godlings. We usually wait for soulmates for a couple hundred, couple thousand years. And when we do, we are ecstatic."

It was all fascinating and you found yourself at your job far to soon for your liking. You were just slightly disappointed.

Loki took your hand, kissing the back of your knuckles again, "We'll see you after work my Queen."

Stephen had opened your door without you realizing and you quickly stepped out, making Jessie crash into Katherine as she stopped on the sidewalk.

Stephen placed a kiss on your forehead. "See you after work."

Forward, but it was to sweet to be weird. You were getting butterflies and starting to wonder if you really wanted to wait two years to get married.

"Y/N!" Katherine screeched, making you jump as the expensive car drove off. "Some explaining to do!"

"At lunch." You hissed. "Come on, we have work."

Katherine, Jessie, and Stacy were incredibly impatient as they waited for their lunch break to come. Once it did, they practically dragged you from the office so that the four of you could sit yourselves down at Big Boys, deciding to do the buffet as lunch.

You decided on breakfast for lunch, putting a few pancakes, sausage links, bacon, eggs, and cinnamon rolls along with apple/orange/grape juice as a drink.

"Explain, explain!" Jessie said.

"Shh." You hissed, rolling up your sleeve, "Stay quiet, it's supposed to be a secret."

Jessie, Stacy, and Katherine leaned over your arm to see what was there. They were the few along with your sister that knew how many soulmates that you had. Their mouths just kept dropping farther and farther until Katherine squealed, "OMG THEY'RE ALL THE AVENGERS!"

Stacy and you tackled her to get her to shut up. "SHH!" You both hissed, getting stares from the others around, though they didn't seem to really care about what you were talking about.

"Yeesh." You whined, leaning back in your seat. "I don't know if I'm lucky or cursed."

"Lucky." The other three answered.

"Seriously, you'll be one of the safest people in the city." Katherine said, eyes big as saucers as she rubbed the silver mark of her unknown soulmate.

"Unless someone from HYDRA was here and overheard your big mouth." Jessie teased Katherine.

"Yeah right." Stacy said rolling her eyes. "I'd like to see a big hulking HYDRA agent in a Big Boys."

You all laughed at the ludicrousness of the comment. After you finished lunch, you went back to work, completely unaware of the watchful eyes on your back.

⬅️➡️

[best-nun-tournament]

Round 1, Match 28

Sam and Dean Winchester (Supernatural) vs John Wilkes and Edwin Booth (US history)

Propaganda under break. Spoilers for Supernatural

Sam and Dean Winchester

Unlicensed and unregistered guns/vigilante justice

---------

they try to kill each other SO many times. well maybe not that often but more often that is emotionally healthy for both of them. dean tries to kill sam (4.14, 8.06, 10.03, 10.23) and sam tries to kill dean (4.14).

in s10 dean has this really shitty curse that basically makes him really violent and want to kill people. however he also wants to just try to deal with it instead of trying to remove the curse because they know removing the curse would cause something really bad to happen. they don't know WHAT the bad thing is but they do know it would be devastating. anyways sam goes behind dean's back and gathers a bunch of other people to try and remove this curse even though dean doesn't want him to AND even though he knows it would cause terrible consequences. eventually sam does get the curse removed and surprise! the bad thing that happens is THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE. basically.

in s9 dean lets an angel possess sam - something he knows sam would never consent to under normal circumstances - in order to save his life and then, when sam finds out and gets mad about it, dean basically refuses to apologize. and then he just never gets around to apologizing about it or even showing regret about doing it.

in s4 sam lies to dean continuously and works with a demon behind dean's back, and he's also doing the supernatural equivalent of drugs that give him powers. when dean finds out about this he locks sam up in a panic room to suffer through his (very painful) withdrawal completely alone. also sam is having hallucinations of dean calling him a monster. and when another character says that he thinks they should let sam out because sam is at risk of dying, dean says "at least he dies human." later sam gets out of the panic room, dean catches up to him, and they have this huge fight where sam just beats dean up.

honorable mention: in between s7-s8 dean dies and goes to purgatory. the concept of purgatory is previously mostly unexplored on supernatural so sam doesn't really know that dean is in purgatory in the first place but also he just straight up does not bother looking for dean at all and just goes back to living a normal suburban life for a couple months. and then when dean gets back he is SO upset about this and resents sam for it for basically the whole season. (this is also one of the reasons he tries to kill sam.)

also they continually try to save each other, at the expense of themselves + each other + everyone around them. they also treat cas (cas!! my best girl cas!!) really shittily on multiple occasions just because he's in the way of their goals.

ALSO. very important. sam & dean are, respectively, the vessels of lucifer & michael (like the archangels) and essentially they are destined to each get possessed by lucifer/michael and kill each other in the apocalypse (the 1st apocalypse, not the 2nd).

all this propaganda might be a little bit biased in favor of sam because i'm a samgirl but you get the point. they think they're so normal but they are SO fucked up. they hurt themselves AND each other in the pursuit of trying to do what they each think is best and they never ever learn from it. i don't even ship wincest i just think they are so interestingly fucked up AND that's not even going into all the stuff about their childhoods / pre-canon

John Wilkes and Edwin Booth

They were actors which is fine. Except. Edwin was better and John was bitter. And the John assassinated the President while delivering a line well associated with Edwin's Brutus. Edwin (already on the outs with John) disowned his brother after that.

Poll Runner's Note: Also their brother Junius Brutus Booth Jr was arrested because of John Wilkes Booth shooting the president. And the three of them had just done Julius Caesar in 1864 (John Wilkes was Mark Antony and Junius was Crassus), the year before the assassination.

One of Junius' other famous roles was as King John, also in this tournament!

[quickreaver]

Jo Harvelle: was she and mirror, and for whom?

This is a requested repost (and a little update as I'm ruminating) of my response to a thread asserting that Jo Harvelle and Dean were mirrors of each other, and it got me smoke grinding (as one does when one has deadlines, lol.) Starting out, here's a grab of the Dean-Jo comparison in question:

This isn't to say that Jo doesn't have anything in common with Dean (of course she does), and as per usual, Dean relates more easily and charmingly to our other characters in the series (because he's the Han Solo personality), but...

I do appreciate the analogy of Jo = Dean, but imho (and this is just me, as ye olde Sam girl (gn)), Jo is far more an inverted version of Sam than Dean. But as per usual in SPNland, Dean is the character who opens up and “relates” more obviously to those folks he either needs or idolizes or befriends (or crushes on). He’s more overt with his affection and charm. But that doesn’t mean he parallels Jo as neatly as Sam does. Again, just my take! Both Sam and Jo were somewhat sheltered, if you will, and went against their parents’ wishes, but in different directions: Jo wanted to hunt and wasn’t allowed to, Sam wanted to leave hunting and wasn’t allowed to. Sam was the one who was canonically given a gun when he was fearful of monsters under the bed, though we know both boys were trained to hunt. Both boys were also expected to fall in line with the Family Business, but only Sam was the one who actively wanted out. From the pilot:

Sam: You think mom would have wanted this for us? The weapon training and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors.

Dean: So, what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?

Sam: No, not normal. Safe.

The one time Dean got out was because Sam asked him to do so, in a sort of deathbed confessional. Finale, S5. And it didn’t stick. It never sticks for either of them…until it does. Sam wanted out consistently through the series. He ran away at 15. He went to college, like many a normal kid aspires to. He tried to get out when Dean was blasted into Purgatory (yeah, yeah, S8 was a tangled mess and I have endless bones to pick with it, but Sam did what he did), and then at the end of all things, Sam did get out out. Dean absolutely assumed he himself would die in a blaze of glory, but I don’t think he envied Jo that. Okay, well, maybe in that it’s “easier” to die than to be the one left to live with grief and loss. But at that time, they were just starting to unwrap what was going on with Heaven and Hell as actual places that existed. It was still scary. I don’t think Dean wanted that. But Dean and Jo would’ve made adorable hunting buddies! Kinda like someone else we know… *cough Sam cough*

[new-tella-us]

Alright. No art. Just positive rant. The entire point of my redesigns was me being slightly annoyed at the designs and story of Seduce Me and having way too much positive nostalgia to be normal about this game. I love-hate this game. However! The one thing I will never, never shit talk Seduce Me for is its characters. The main six love interests (Yes I am counting Diana as a main love interest. Thank Demon War for that) are all so well written! I genuinely love them. Even Sam, my least favorite character, isn’t boring. I don’t dislike him for being a bad character, I dislike him because the tsundere trope annoys me.

But this isn’t a rant about the characters as a whole. This is a rant about Damien. Let me rave for a second. Because as melodramatic as his backstory is, it got me hook, line and sinker. I am convinced that either Michaela had a period of being obsessed with Damien or some redheaded fuck boy named Damien pissed her off so much that she made him into a character just to make him suffer. This boy is tragic!

Like b r o, all the other boys’ backstories can be summed up with “The palace life is boring, my dad is kinda shitty and I got one other, reoccurring, minor inconvenience” and then there’s Damien being like- “My mom suffered as my dad’s harem girl until she couldn’t take it anymore and tried to murder me before killing herself. Also my dad is extra shitty to me. He tried to kill me a few times. Food? That’s a luxury. Energy? I’m used to not having it. A room? What is that? Please let me become human because mind reading kinda sucks, oh wait, I only got a 1 out of 6 shot for that ending. And I’m not even the canon ending!”

And another thing! Matthew’s main bad ending has traumatized me for multiple reasons but that line, “That’s what you get for making me go to the human world” after he kills Damien! Now, Matthew is a favorite of mine, but in that moment, I wanted to shake that little bitch until his soul evacuated his body! Like, I don’t care that he was being controlled, how d a r e he come firing shots at Damien when all he wanted was a good life away from his abusive ass dad!? Bro Damien may have been the illegitimate child but at that moment Matthew was the bastard.

Tragic…

On a different, lighter note, I do love the sort of contrast between him and Matthew, at least on the topic of “naivety”. Of the two, you expect the fun loving, goofball to be the naive, kind of innocent one. But that’s not the case. Matthew is optimistic, Damien is innocent. Matthew knows what he wants and while the world is a wonder to him, he goes about the world with this sort of maturity, knowing what he wants to see and when. Damien is more of the spacey type. There is this level of inexperience to how he grasps the world as if he can’t even believe that it can exist. Plus, as much as he has an idea of what he wants to see, sometimes he feels like he must ask permission. Like in the New Years Episode where if you go on Damien’s route, he asks “Can we do this every year?”.

In conclusion, I want to wrap Damien into a blanket burrito and tell him that everything is going to be okay. And then take him to therapy because this man probably has C-PTSD. As my friends would say, I am mentally ill for this demon equivalent of a sad, wet dog.

[my-supernatural-rewatch]

Episode One: Pilot

Dean Winchester in the pilot episode of Supernatural

So I'm most likely not going to get too deep into the weeds with the episode plots unless it's really important to what I'm writing about. But I'll give a synopsis if for no other reason than to remind myself.

After John Winchester witnesses his wife die in a supernatural event, he raises his infant son Sam and four-year-old son Dean in a life training like “warriors” to fight off the things that go bump in the night, hoping to find the entity that killed his wife in the process. Despite Sam's attempt to lead a normal life in college, he is drawn back into the supernatural world when Dean arrives to inform him that their father is missing. Following cryptic clues left in a disturbing voicemail from their father, the brothers journey to a small town where they confront a vengeful spirit known as the "Woman in White.”

From the get-go, Dean is already put-upon. We do get to see John be a soft dad for a moment when he walks into the bedroom, smiles at Dean and lets him jump into his arms, asking him if he thinks Sam is ready to start tossing around a football. Then things go dark and by the time John is on the floor staring at Mary burning into the ceiling, the softness is pretty much gone. To his credit, he stops freaking out about Mary long enough to grab the baby as Dean enters the bedroom...and then it starts.

After basically throwing the six-month-old at the four-year-old, John barks:

"Take your brother outside as fast as you can and don't look back! Now, Dean, go!"

And Dean's lifetime of obligation to Sam's well-being begins with him reassuring the baby, "It's okay, Sammy."

(It will always irritate me that John, seeing Mary on the fucking CEILING burning up, didn't just grab both kids and run. What did he think he was going to do in those moments?)

To John's credit, he does end up hauling ass out of the house in time to grab Dean who runs out of the house and then, as a four-year-old would, just kind of stands there waiting for the house to explode on him and his brother.

The last time we see John in this episode, he's huddled with his sons watching his house burn down with a look on his face that relays he is not the same man we were introduced to earlier.

(Jeffrey Dean Morgan does a great job of conveying how John changed without all that much screen time or dialogue in this episode.)

And now here we are 22 years later and Sam is all grown up with a sexy and supportive girlfriend and ready to embark on his life in law school, probably on a free ride no less, because he aced the LSAT's and is such a smarty pants.

But, alas, here comes trouble. The reason all the Sam girls blame Sam's life turning out the way it did: big brother Dean.

There are a few things in the episode that they kind of hammer over your head, and the main one is what Dean's personality is supposed to be. He's established from the beginning as comedic relief. A bit of a wild card, and a bit of a lech. (I mean he practically drools while looking at Jessica, his brother's live-in girlfriend, while she's in her pajamas and basically hits on her right in front of Sam.)

The first thing he does is tell Sam he was looking for a beer. (Establishing his drinking habit.)

Which, now I'm going to digress for a moment. On two different occasions in this episode, Sam makes snide remarks about John drinking. Once to Dean when he says John is probably on the "Miller Time shift" and the other when he tells Jessica that John is probably in his cabin "with Jim, Jack, and Jose."

In the very first episode they establish John has a drinking problem. Do they ever pick back up on this? Guess I'm going to find out.

One other thing about Sam, while he and Dean are leaving the apartment to talk in private, they are talking, and Sam gets all the pertinent lines to let the viewers know what happened between us seeing John with the boys and Dean showing up at Sam's placel

This exposition is almost comical in its obviousness.

SAM: I swore I was done hunting. For good.

DEAN: Come on. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad.

SAM: Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a forty-five.

DEAN: Well, what was he supposed to do?

SAM: I was nine years old! He was supposed to say, don't be afraid of the dark.

DEAN: Don't be afraid of the dark? Are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark. You know what's out there.

SAM: Yeah, I know, but still. The way we grew up, after Mom was killed, and Dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her. But we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we can find.

DEAN: We save a lot of people doing it, too.

Listen, I get we need exposition but jeez this is... a lot.

Anyway, back to Dean.

We get the first reference to living an apple pie life from him, directed at Sam with as much disdain as he can muster. But then soon after, while still trying to convince Sam to go with him to find John, he reminds his brother that he has essentially left him alone for the last two years by saying:

"You know, in almost two years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing."

He left Sam alone because he wanted him to have that life. He wanted Sam to have a girlfriend, and an education, and a good job that didn't involve monsters. And you can't convince me differently.

That sincerity is what convinces Sam to go with Dean...it reinforced what he said to Sam earlier when Sam told him he could do it on his own. He looked down sheepishly and admitted:

"Yeah, well, I don't want to."

Many look at this as Dean already triggering codependency with Sam but I look at it as someone who spent the majority of their life taking care of their little brother and then making the difficult decision to let him go for those two years. Now the only family he had around him is missing and he wants his brother to help find him because, sure, he can do it on his own, but he wants family around him. Dean has always wanted family around him.

This is where I mention that there might be references to wincest in some of these posts. I personally do not see wincest in any of these episodes but there are some where fandom lore might come into play. I'm not planning on it, but it could happen.

And now:

Another Dean trait that is established in the pilot is his love for junkfood. Sam of course shows his usual disdain but, think about it, it makes perfect sense. Sam has just spent the last four years at Stanford with a goddamn meal plan while Dean is living out of motels and the Impala (not yet christened "Baby"). Of COURSE Dean is going to be living off of crap.

Sam's scorn for Dean scamming credit cards and listening to classic rock on cassette sets us up for 15 seasons of him judging Dean for both doing what he has to in order to survive and just enjoying things. For fuck's sake, the two songs in this episode are Back in Black and Highway to Hell. It was AC/DC. It's not like Dean was listening to ABBA and The Bay City Rollers.*

Sam is a judgy jackass from the very beginning and that is one thing that absolutely didn't change over time.

Sam's belief that he's superior to Dean is also reflected in the library when it is Dean initially doing the internet search and Sam forcefully takes over. I'm reminded watching this that the very first time I watched the pilot, I did so with three other women and we all decided early on if we were Sam or Dean girl's and three of us chose Dean. Sam being a consistent dildo to Dean in this episode was one of the reasons I chose Dean.

*I do not pop music shame and we find out later in the series that neither does Dean.

In the first scene on the bridge, long before he gets arrested, Dean shows a disdain for the cops and the FEDS that Sam obviously doesn't share. It's always been interesting to me how this changed over time most likely because Dean realized a lot of the time the cops could be more helpful than hurtful. I'll have to keep an eye on that too.

Another aspect of Dean's personality they establish in this episode that sticks with him for the duration of the series is his genuine desire to hunt the monsters and save people. He is determined to keep digging to figure out what is happening to the men who are disappearing, even though the idea was to be looking for their father. Meanwhile, Sam just wants to go back to Stanford.

While they discuss Sam returning to school, it is Dean who points out how unhealthy it is for Sam to lie to Jessica about who he is. When Sam was leaving to go with Dean, we see he still kept weapons at school. Weapons Jessica obviously didn't know about even while living with him. Sam has been deceitful his entire time in Stanford, much like Dean has to be in order to be a hunter. But Sam is deceiving people he knows and cares about while Dean deceives strangers, yet Sam is the one who thinks he holds the higher ground.

And then Sam's shittiness really comes into play when he basically complains about avenging Mary's death by saying that if it wasn't for pictures he wouldn't even know what Mary looked like and that finding the thing that killed her wouldn't bring her back.

It's clear in this scene that he's saying these things specifically to upset Dean - and boy does it work. Dean practically throws Sam off the bridge.

But he doesn't. Instead, the Women in White chases them across the bridge using the Impala as her weapon. And to remind us that Dean is there for comic relief, Dean ends up in the drink covered in mud and guck while Sam doesn't fall into the water and is still squeaky clean.

I really hate how they tried to force Dean to be Daffy fucking Duck or something and I'm glad it didn't last for too long.

After getting out of the guck, Dean screams that the Woman in White is a BITCH and it's a reminder that as much as I love this show, and make no mistake, I do, the fucking misogyny early on is really prevalent and fucking annoying. (I omitted writing about Dean calling Sam a bitch after Sam calls him a jerk because the jerk/bitch thing pissed me off from the first time I heard it and I choose not to relive it or dwell on it.)

We get our first "No chick flick moments" when all Sam tried to do was apologize for saying shitty things about their parents. It didn't work for me only in that an apology isn't exactly a chick flick moment but upon reflecton at that point in Dean's life ( 26-years-old and always having lived under John's thumb) an apology absolutely would seem like that...definitely a sign of weakness to John Winchester.

Dean getting picked up by the cops and quipping that the one thing about him that isn't fake is his boobs actually made me laugh out loud. Sure it's a comic relief bit again, but it's also quintessential Dean Winchester and I loved it.

Randomly, I loved the look on Dean's face when he saw John's journal. Really conveyed that something must be wrong if it was there but John wasn't. It also didn't go unnoticed by me that when Sam drives the car into the Woman in White's house, Dean is less concerned with the status of the car and much more concerned with Sam being okay. (Once it is established that Sam is okay, Dean tells him he'd have to kill him if he hurt the car...but his initial response was to worry about Sam.)

I loved the poetry of baby Sam getting bled on while Mary is on the ceiling at the beginning of the episode and adult Sam getting bled on while Jessica is on the ceiling near the end of the episode.

But more poetic? Dean having to be the one to take his brother to safety 22 years after he did it the first time. He's always going to be responsible for Sam no matter what goes on between them. And while I know a lot of people love that about the show, I think it's tragic.

Some notes for posterity:

They didn't have to do anything elaborate to get rid of their first monster. Sam literally just had to drive her home.

Sam turns into John at the end of this episode. From sweet boyfriend to vengeful man. They tried for years to make us think it was Dean who was more like John, but Dean nails it in a future episode when he tells Sam it's him, not Dean.

The significant music from this episode comes from AC/DC: Back in Black and Highway to Hell. Both great picks if not a bit obvious, Mr. Kripke. (Also "Ramblin' Man" by The Allman Brothers Band at the gas station)

The brothers pose as Federal Marshals in this episode but don't give names. When they speak to the victim's girlfriend, they pretend to be his uncles and give her their real first names without last names. And when Dean gets arrested, he tells the cop, who ends up deducing that his name is actually Dean, that is name is Ted Nugent.

This is the first episode in which Dean gets arrested

This is also the first episode in which Dean makes a movie reference "We talkin', like, misdemeanor kind of trouble or, uh, squeal like a pig trouble?" (The film referenced is Deliverance)

And this is one of a handful of episodes where Sam drives the Impala without it being mentioned that it's odd for Sam to do so or that Dean doesn't want him to.

This hunt takes place in Jericho, California.

Dean grabs John's jacket from the abandoned motel room and wears it for the remainder of the episode.

We got a "Sam!" in this episode.

Recognizable Guest Stars in this episode: Steve Railsback and Sarah Shahi

[kay-elle-cee]

I would love to know about James' feelings that time they first meet eyes years later. Directors take OR a James POV 😍

HELLO Athena! Thank you for your patience since I've saved this in my inbox to answer after the final chapter of i'll be fine, i'll be good went live. Answer below the cut! (And a reminder that anyone can ask me for thoughts/Director’s Cut for any of my fics at any time!)

(sorry I tried to refine this but it still ended up a bit word vomity!)

ALRIGHT so we learn in chapter six that James was, in fact, really broken up about Lily for awhile (I mean....that's not particularly a spoiler, is it?). I like to think that by the time James sees Lily—like walking into the shop and having face-to-face interaction with her for the first time since he told her he loved her all those years ago (oh my god ow)—he's really processed everything and made peace with it all. He's had his eyes opened a little bit more by his work with the Order to just how difficult and dangerous it was for her. He's forgiven her, and he understands (to an extent) her actions, but he also knows that because of this he can't really be mad at her, and he just...is trying to be as normal as he can (even though a part of him misses her). So he has to be careful.

He's known she's worked at that apothecary for years. Remus absolutely told him immediately (well, maybe not immediately, but definitely within that first month). And he's likely agonized time and time again on if he should go in, how bad would it be to look through the window, maybe one of us should just, like, make sure she's okay...But then you have Sirius (and to a lesser extent Remus and Peter) reminding James of what kind of toll Lily took on him last time, reminding him that if she wanted to see him, she could reach out, reminding him how far he's come and fuck Evans because she hurt you. And James, even if he doesn't feel Sirius' anger at the whole situation, maybe listens to this, lets it bolster him to keep his resolve hardened and his guard up.

But then he gets paired up with Sam for the potions run. And he definitely panics and feeds her some BS line about him needing to wait outside so they're not ambushed in the shop and she's like whatever you weirdo I'm going to go see this really interesting girl I met and could definitely be friends with YOUR LOSS. And then she's chatting and he's out there just getting so nervous because what if Sam lets it spill to Lily that he's out here and then they get to talking, what would Lily say would Lily be mad would she want to say hi why do I care so much about what Lily thinks? He's done so well at living his life in a post-Lily world but suddenly everytime he's around this shop she's just there on his mind. So he gets a little overwhelmed and opens that little door and tells Sam to hurry up without ever looking in because he knows there's a real possibility that the second he sees Lily (really sees her) this resolve he has might crumble.*

*And I think it's important to note here that I'm not suggesting James would fall to her feet and confess his love with one glance, but he'd be James. He'd be kind (maybe too kind), and he suspects that somewhere in his heart he still loves her and is worried that it'd be too easy to fall back into that pattern after all the work he's done.

But yeah so he and Sam leave and he's in the all clear but then he gets injured in the field and Sam has to leave and suddenly he's in charge of the potions supply runs and he has no other choice—he has to SEE HER. He spends the whole morning fretting, trying to remain calm, trying not to run scenarios through his head and telling himself he can do it, that it's no big deal—he's just a patron and she's just a shopkeep. (He's definitely not looking forward to it, even if he had all of those musings about dipping in and seeing her over the last few years—that's idealistic James and this is practical James.) I think he goes so far as to even try to remember some of the anger he had felt towards her at one point of time—really grasping for anything to make sure and keep that distance between them. But it's this weird thing because Remus told him about the Snape encounter so he's also a little worried about her and it's this tightrope of keeping things professional. Not concerned, not angry, but something neutral in between.

And then he sees her. And he thought he was prepared, and he was so, so wrong. There's pain, when their eyes meet. The last time he looked into them echoes in his mind and there's pain and a little bit of that anger comes back and maybe it's anger at her but maybe it's also a little bit of anger for himself—for not understanding her as well as he feels he should have. But he leans on the anger, only giving her the shortest of answers, and he leaves. And he thinks: I can do this.

And when he gets sent again, he holds onto that anger a bit tighter and tries to ignore the undeniable way his heart beats faster when that bell over the door rings.

Listen I might do a James POV of some scenes one day, if the urge strikes and people are interested, who knows?