#so he just brushed it off and was like. sure. fine. ill take the flowers. i guess.

[jils-things]

nortn.aib this and that why am i not talking about NORT.EMMA THAT IS A CRIME ON MY END

[jackmanbj]

first nights

AN: this will have little smut, i wont actually add any smut

summary: you and jack have been dating for a while but never actually went to each others house and one night on a date you suggest you and jack should go back to your place.

requested by a lovely anon🌸

stinka💕- baby im outside.

you- ok, im putting on my shoes then im coming.

you quickly put on your shoes and started walking outside to find jacks car in front your driveway.

you sped walked to the car trying to not keep jack waiting.

once you got into the car jack handed you a bouquet of flowers.

“thank you baby boy.”

“of course, you ready to go?” “yup”

jack started driving as you and him started catching up on things being as thorough you both hadn’t talk in a few days since he had things to catch up on in the studio and tour and you had been busy with school and your business which was doing amazing at the moment.

“hows maggie been babe? i haven’t been able to talk to her in a while.”

“shes really good, shes been asking about you to.”

“ill call her after the date maybe me and her could catch up.”

the rest of the car ride you and jack were sining to music mostly 2000’s music.

jack pulled up and the restaurant and stopped the car, coming over to your side to help you out.

“thanks sweet boy”

once jack helped you out you started walking in the restaurant jack following close behind you.

jack went to speak to speak with one of the servers to let then know he had a reservation.

“right this way sir!”

“baby come on.”

jack started holding your hand as you both walked behind the server to your table.

once you were say you ordered a water and jack ordered a dr. pepper.

the waiter came back with your drinks and took your oder and left.

“what you wanna do after we leave mamas?”

“uhm i was thinking we could go back to my place?”

“you sure?” “only if you want to of course.”

“yea im fine with it, your place it is,” jack gave you a quick smile and took a sip out of his drink

the waiter came back with you and jacks food and you both ate and talked about jacks new songs.

jack paid the bill and you left a $20 tip.

you and jack left jack started walking to the car, jack opened the door for you and you sat in the car and put on your R&B playlist.

“IM COMING BACK FOR GOOD SO LET THEM N*GGAS KNOW ITS MINE! ALREADY GOT SOMEONE THATS WHAT YOU TELL ‘EM EVERYTI-“ “that’s enough baby, you sound drunk!”

you quickly put a pout on your face and turned on your playlist for jacks music.

“and i know you just..hate to see it, can’t imagine bein’ you oo i hate to be it im done faking humble actin like ian conceited ‘cause bitch i am conceited. you know you cant defeat it.”

once you and jack arrived at your house you took off your shoes by the door and started walking upstairs to your room, jack following quickly behind you.

“babe im going to take a shower you wanna join?”

“i dont have any extra clothes mamas.”

“oh..” “i’ll go run home and get some clothes and i’ll be right back, wait for me mk?” “ok!”

jack gave you a kiss and walked out the door

after about 15 minutes you heard a knock on the door.

you quickly went to go open the door and found jack with a big bag full of clothes.

“hi baby”

“hi ma”

you let jack in and he went back to your room, you followed behind him.

he placed his bag on the floor next to your bed and sat down in your chair.

“did you bring your toothbrush?” “fuck.” “i have extra, come here.”

you handed jack the toothbrush and you both started brushing your teeth.

once you were done jack took off his clothes and started to get in the shower and a little after you joined him.

you grabbed the soap and a small towel and started washing jack off.

once you got around his dick you started cleaning it of very slowly making sure to look up at him every so often.

jack was grunting trying his hardest not to moan.

“fuck baby” “oopise”

you bent down and started cleaning up the rest of his body.

once you were done with him, he grabbed another towel and started cleaning you off, he he started making his way to you lower stomach he bent down and started kissing up your inner thighs.

“fuckk jack” you hands went in his hair and he placed a small kiss on your clit and pulled back.

you quickly let out a whine and he chuckled st you.

“oopsie”

“asshole.” “i just did you what you did me, nothing wrong with that mmh?”

jack finished cleaning you off and you both got out the shower.

“jack im about to do my skincare, can you do it with me??” “baby im tired” “please??” “fine”

you and jack went to your vanity and you pulled up an extra chair for jack to sit in.

you put on your headband and grabbed an extra one for jack.

“do you want to do a clay mask, peal off, or a sheet mask?” “sheet” “ok”

you put your soap on you and jacks face, wiped it off then put the face mask on jack.

“JACK!” “huh!?” “stop touching it! your going to mess it up!” “sorry mamas”

after 20 minutes you and jack took off your masks, you put some moisturizer on you and jack, then put eye cream on you both then put your liquid lotion on, not wanting to put it on jack went to lay in bed.

“jack baby” “yes mamas?” “what you wanna do?” “cuddle and watch a movie?” “sure baby.”

you cleaned off your vanity and went to lay down with jack.

you laid on top of his chest and started kissing him all over his pretty face while he laughed.

you stopped kissing his face and started sucking on his neck.

“baby your going to leave a mark, your sucking me like a vampire.” you detached yourself from his neck “put on a movie and shit up jack.” you quickly went back to sucking on his neck after.

jack ended up putting on your favorite movie and grabbed onto your ass.

“jackkk!” “yes ma?” “im tired.” “me to mamas” “can you turn off the movie and we can go to bed?” “sure.”

jack turned off the movie and put his hands back on his resting place.

once jack knew you were asleep he started kissing your forehead and whispering how much he loved you and would do anything for you.

[rosemultitargaryen]

BodyGuard

Warnings: Dry humping, stalking?, breeding kink, oral (m receiving), oral (f receiving), fingering, degrading, bondage, semi-public sex, praising kink, breeding kink.

Pairing: BodyGuard!Aemond Targaryen x Princess!Female!Reader.

Summary: You're assigned a new body guard, what your father doesn't know is that your new Body Guard is particularly good at his job...and a little more. (See i'm being nice and adding plot for once).

Word count: 1.7k

"So tell me Aemond, what makes you want to guard me?" You ask, curious as to why he took the job of being your sole protector.

Aemond's hands are clasped behind him, head tilted down and sword pinned to his armour. His hair is in his signature style, eyepatch the same colour as his shoes; a neat brown.

"I thought it would open my eyes." He simply states, picking up the pace of his walk.

You job slightly, catching up to his long strides; making your height difference evident. Your eyebrows furrow at his bleak answer.

"Open your eyes? What do you mean?" You question and he chuckles.

"Nothing sweet girl, now, is it off to your chambers or are we going to be getting more exercise." Aemond trails off as he looks you up and down slowly.

"You know...if you keep undressing me with your eyes, i could get a cold. As my bodyguard you wouldn't want me ill now would you?" A smile tugs at your lips, the liquor from the gathering earlier taking full affect.

"I...Sweet girl enough with your tainted words." Aemond clears his throat; his Adam's apple bobbing as he does so.

Confidently; you walk past him, close enough for him to get a smell of your newly made fragrance. You had the maids make it for you, it is a unique earthy scent that is to die for as Aemond would so describe it. Your hands are clasped behind you, walking through the gardens.

You're too distracted to notice a young boy running toward you with a flower. The boy knocks you and Aemond is quick to dive in; grabbing the boy by the arm you see tears prick at his eyes.

"Aemond that is enough!" You speak firmly and Aemond reluctantly releases the child.

You kneel down, taking the boy in your arms and wiping his tears.

"My lady, I just wanted to give you this pretty flower." He sniffed and your heart melts.

"Oh it is the prettiest of flowers." you put it in your hair and kiss the boy's head. He smiles and runs off.

Aemond helps you to your feet and you brush off the dirt that had gathered on your dress from kneeling. A sigh leaves your lips and you walk off to your chambers, Aemond following you like a lost puppy.

"Aemond, thank you for your assistance but i am alright with getting to my chambers safely." You state and he frowns slightly.

"Princess, I am to stay with you throughout day and night." He states and you look up to him.

"I said I am fine, take your leave early. I will not ask again." You close your chamber doors and dress into some nightwear.

You decide to sit at your balcony, watching as Rhaenyra flys Syrax beautifully in the night sky. You had often found yourself late at night, sitting at your balcony and counting the stars to guide you into a sleepy state. Usually Aemond would read some high valerian book to you, however you cannot get over the grimacing look he gave that child. Something in you stirred.

You start reflecting on the event and realise how cruel and cold you seemed to him. You stand from your seated state and go to your doors, opening them to find...

"Aemond?" You ask.

"I cannot rest when i know you are alone, i am truly sorry for my actions it won't happen again i-"

Your lips cut him off.

His hands are quick to hold your face as he pushes you inside your chambers, making sure to shut the doors behind you both with his foot. He pushes you against the wall beside the door, his hands trailing down to your neck. You both break for air, pupils fully dilated with lust and want for one another.

Aemond drags his thumb down your neck, licking his lips slowly. He bends down and kisses the soft flesh of your exposed collar bone. A moan erupts from your lips as you move your hips towards his to relieve some friction building up in your core.

"Aemond...please." You shamelessly whine.

Aemond looks at you in disbelief for this had be a moment he had dreamt about. When he heard of this role being free he jumped at the opportunity. Many nights he had spent thinking grotesque thoughts of you while stroking his cock wishing it was your hand. For many nights he had watched you from afar, thinking what it would he like to breed you.

You grip his armour, becoming impatient while you try undress him. Aemond chuckles and unclips his chest plates while you work on the rest. Finally, you get to his undergarments and revel at the bareness of him. Your hand's instinctively trail down his broad chest to his undergarment. You ghost your hand over his clothed cock, yearning for it to fill you.

You drop to your knees, looking up through your brows. Aemond reaches and grabs your chin softly with a smirk on his face. You take away the last piece of clothing separating you from him. Your tongue darts out, wetting your lips in preparation. The sheer sight of his bare cock makes you weak, makes your arousal pool in your panties and your stomach churn with need.

"Come on darling, take it." He purrs and you lick a strip up his member.

A subtle moan leaves his lips. You look back up at Aemond, taking his tip in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around it, collecting the pre-cum as you watch the man shudder under your touch. You take as much of his cock down tour throat as you can, using your hands for the rest.

Aemond props himself up against the wall with his arms, caging you in as you take him so well. He reaches a hand down, taking a fistful of your hair as your head bobs slowly. Tears prick your eyes as he forced more down your throat, the burning sensation making your lungs feel as if they are aflame.

"Nghh...fuck." He groans and you feel him twitch in your mouth.

Aemond releases in your throat and you whine, spitting whatever he offered you out. He slaps you across the face and grabs your throat, pressing his hips into yours.

"Did i say spit? You filthy little whore." Aemond spat and you whimper, the slur only making your thoughts more promiscuous.

Aemond grabs the back of your neck, dragging you to the balcony along with some rope and fabric. He begins with undressing you, taking off your night wear to reveal your body. He looked to be a deer in headlights; taking you in, admiring you. Aemond takes his time to look at you properly, feeling the way your hips tense at his presence. Seeing the way your chest rises and falls as your breathing quickens with anticipation.

"Aemond please, I beg of you." Whines and whimpers leave your lips and he relishes in the submissive state you're in.

"Oh but i do love to take my time, especially with you." He knees down, levelling with your soaking cunt.

Aemond kisses your clit, smoothing his tongue up your slit before pushing his pointer finger within your sopping hole. Your eyes screw shut at the intrusion. Aemond's lip attach to your clit sucking delicately, finger pumping slowly but harshly. Your core tightens, feeling your release nearing.

Aemond takes what you have to offer, lapping it up like a kitten with milk as you come down from your high. He stands up, leaving you limp against the balcony. Aemond wraps the rope around your arms and the balcony, keeping you in place. You moan as the rope starts to burn you from the restriction. You squirm and feel him behind you.

"You are going to be good, like the slut you are." Aemond coos, landing a harsh slap on your arse.

You moan again and feel the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance. It hit you then, there are people who could see you; you are on the balcony after all. You close your eyes, bracing for the impact as he lines himself up with your soaking cunt. Aemond kisses your back before pushing in forcefully into you tight entrance.

"Oh issa, ao feel sīr sȳz." He groans, keeping within you for a few moments while your walls adjust to the size of him.

Moments pass and he becomes impatient, slowly thrusting in you. The burns run through you, making your eyes screw shut and your hands fighting against the restraints. His thrusts quicken, knocking you forward each time.

"Nnnghhh," you groan as he grabs your hair, his thrusts becoming animalistic as he chases his release.

"Oh...sweet girl." Aemond praises and you whine, thrusting back onto him.

Your core tightens. The strength of your release taking your a toll on your whole body. Aemond keeps hitting that spot within you deliciously, his release also nearing as beads of sweat form on his forehead and chest. Your breathing is quick, chest heaving as you crave to reach your climax.

"Aemond please let me.." you pant and he grunts, reaching under you to rub your clit.

Your back arches and the coils snaps, Aemond groans as he feels you convulse around his throbbing cock. You moan from the overstimulation while Aemond continues to fuck you until his release comes.

"Aemond...oh fuck." You groan, pulling at the restraints.

Your legs go numb and limp, resulting in Aemond having to hold you up. His thrusts become sloppier and you feel him twitch before releasing inside you. He fucks his cum deep within you, making sure every last drop is not put to waste.

"Fuck." He groans, kissing and nipping at your back.

"I guess...I guess you are a good bodyguard." You pant.

[tommiruewrites]

JUST A LITTLE LONGER | PT2 - V.T.

requested: yes | no

requests: open | closed

request rules here

REQ BY: @cia-agapanthus SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT ML i finished this like two weeks after you suggested it and then my brain decided posting it was too much apparently 💀💀 here it is now

WARNINGS: mention of past traumatic events, kissing, NOT PROOFREAD at all !! lmk if i missed smth!!

remember to like, comment, and reblog to support my writing <3

part 1

———————

You wake up to the sound of wind whispering softly in your ear. Only able to see the darkness behind your eyelids, you feel like you’ve been stampeded by a dozen horses. As you pry your eyelids open, finding it unusually draining to move even the smallest of body parts, you’re finally able to take in the warm glow of your surroundings. You lay beneath your quilted bedding, the rising sun dancing shades of orange and gold across the tall ceiling through the open window. Catching the source of the breeze, you can’t help but notice the chill that coats your skin.

Gaining more strength, you attempt to push yourself up to go get a glass of water. As you do, a sharp pain shoots through your stomach, gasping at the unexpected feeling.

“You’re awake!”

You hear a familiar voice exclaim from beside you, his voice a bit hoarse. He rises from your vanity chair, swiftly rushing to your side to help you sit up properly.

“How do you feel? Are you in pain?”

You wince at the pinch as you shift, “I feel fine.” but you’re voice comes out gravelly and thin. Tewkesbury immediately reaches for the glass of water he’d set on your bedside table. You thank him quietly as you let the water ease your throat, your head pounding as you lean it back.

“What happened? Where are Sherlock and Enola?” you ask, putting the water back on your table. Your memories seem hazy and jumbled, unsure of why you feel so horrible at the present.

Tewkesbury sits down beside you, careful not to hurt you as he does. “They went out for a walk. They haven’t gotten much sleep since…” he hesitates, not wanting either of you to relive it, “We were fighting… and you got hurt pretty badly.” He explains softly, and your brows furrow while flashes of the night come back to you. “You fell unconscious before we could get you to a medic.”

His eyes meet yours for the first time since he’s sat down, and you see his lashes glisten with tears, “We weren’t sure if you were going to wake up.”

You look around the room, taking in the information and trying to process the fragmented memories flooding back to you. Your eye catches on the table across the room, overflowing with more flowers than one person could possibly need.

“How long was I out?” You ask curiously, noticing how all of your favorite flowers make up the bouquets.

“Four days.” he responds, watching your eyes as they roam the flowers he’s left for you.

You meet his eyes once more. He looks like he hasn’t gotten a proper rest in days. Your heart squeezes at the thought, not wanting him to fall ill due to lack of sleep. From the looks of it he’s been up at your bedside every day.

“I’m happy you’re alright.” he admits, grabbing your hand tentatively in his own, “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

You smile at the confession, “Can’t get rid of me that easily, Tewkesbury.”

He mirrors your grin, letting you interlace your fingers with his own. “Do like the flowers?” he asks as a blush breaks out on his cheeks.

“Mmm…” you pretend to think, biting back a bright smile, “I think you could have gotten a bit more. I’m sure there’s a field somewhere you missed.” playful sarcasm laced in your tone.

His cheeks hurt at the smile gracing his lips, and you can’t help the butterflies that swarm your belly as you admire the pretty sight. Reaching an arm up, he brushes your messy hair off of your neck.

“I’ll make sure to find them for you.”

His hand lingers against your pulse, but his eyes stare into yours. Searching and scanning for any bit of tangible evidence that you’re safe. You bring a hand up to his, guiding it to cradle your cheek, leaning into the warmth if his touch.

“You know, we were kind of in the middle of something before… you know.” you suggest softly.

His eyes flicker wider for a moment, swallowing his nerves at the intimacy of your closeness. “Yeah?” he replies with the same softness, not wanting to ruin the moment.

You nod in response, eyes flickering to his lips at the memory. “Do you want to pick up where we left off?”

He contemplates it for a moment, glancing between your lips and eyes, looking torn. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Your heart swells at the sweet notion, smiling sweetly, “If you do, you can always kiss it better?” you suggest cheekily, suppressing your laughter as his shoulders shake with it, forehead falling to yours.

The fond smile never leaves your face, even as he’s leaning in to press his soft lips to yours. Even as you feel your whole body buzz with electricity. Not even when his thumb brushes your cheek and a matching smile moves perfectly against yours.

Suddenly your pushing him away, his lips chasing yours. The look in your face makes his head tilt in confusion. “What is it?”

“I still won though, right?”

[huckleberrykai]

choi yeonjun ~ dance with me

pairing: yeonjun x fem!reader summary: trying to confess to your dance class partner on valentines day is more overwhelming than you originally thought. genre: college au, confession, pretty fluffy, soft dance partner yeonjun :') warnings: none! word count: 1.6k click here for my masterlist!

"hi!"

"oh, hey Y/N!" yeonjun turned to see you behind him, holding a singular rose. "are you- do you need something?" he asked.

it was valentines day, and you were determined to finally ask out the cute guy in your dance class. you got paired up a lot, both being the top of your class - you often did demonstrations together since you worked together so naturally.

"yes actually, i.. i just wanted to-"

"Y/N! i need you to come help yunjin with the choreography from last week, she's struggling. be a dear and give her a hand," you professor cut you off. you sighed, "sure, i'm on my way!" you replied.

"did you want to say something?" the gorgeous boy in front of you stole your attention again and tilted his head to the side, a curious glint in his eye. damn, he was beautiful. and intimidating. your earlier confidence had shattered thanks to your ill-timed professor - and now he was looking at you with his pretty chocolatey eyes and pouty lips...

"uh no! well yes, but i'll talk to you later - see you in class!"

he didn't even get a chance to respond before you bolted to yunjin's practice room, carelessly dropping the rose in your hand on the hardwood floor and leaving in a flash. his eyebrows furrowed as he lifted it off the ground, were you going to give this to him?

his eyes followed your hurried figure until you were out of the room.

truth is, yeonjun had liked you from the moment he first saw you dance. you inspired him a lot, and the way you moved to the music completely entranced him. your cute exterior and snarky personality just drew him in all the more - he loved to fight with you playfully, and he loved it even more when he could dance with you. oh, how he wished this flower really was for him.

he shook away his fantasies as he tucked it in his bag to return to you later.

when your class began an hour later, you seemed stiff as your professor announced you'd be doing partner work again today. you'd be practising the waltz, and of course, you were paired with yeonjun. usually you'd be happy with this, he was best matched to your ability and dancing style after all, but after making a fool of yourself this morning you'd rather not have to explain yourself.

he didn't pry, but he thought you definitely seemed more uncomfortable than usual. your dancing was still perfect, but you weren't talking to him or sending him a snarky comment as you usually would.

you did a full run-through of your choreography, and at the end he dipped you softly in his strong arms and gave you a warm smile that felt like a hundred sunbeams piercing your heart. his fingertips felt like electric shocks on your waist, brushing the gap of skin when your shirt had ridden up during your movements.

feeling suffocated by his presence, you stepped back, nearly stumbling on your own feet. "woah Y/N are you okay? you don't seem yourself."

he noticed the muscles in your neck bob as you gulped. "yeah, i think i just need some water." before you could stop him, he ran to grab his water bottle and offered it to you, "take your time. do you want me to ask the professor if you can go home?" you shook your head no. you were fine, just flustered.

you felt like a middle schooler as you peered down at his blue water bottle, cool in your hands. if you drank from this, wouldn't it be like an indirect kiss?

"you can drink it, i can always refill it."

he thought your hesitance was due to you thinking if you took it he'd have none left - so he reassured you that it was okay. he'd rather his cute dance partner not die on him, even if it meant a visit to the water fountain.

you hesitantly twisted the cap and took a few gulps, feeling your face heat up. this was gonna be a long class...

you survived your dance class, but it wasn't easy.

yeonjun was incredibly attentive the whole time, giving you water and checking in after each rehearsal - still convinced you weren't feeling well. the final nail in the coffin was once class ended and you were packing your bags to leave for your next classes ~

"Y/N!"

each time he said your name it was like he wormed his way into your heart a little further. your breath hitched when he stood in front of you holding the red rose. "you dropped this earlier, i thought you might want it back."

he didn't know it was for him, and he wasn't going to let his delusions get ahead of him if it meant it didn't get to its rightful owner. he didn't know if you were going to give it to someone else or if you'd received it - but either way he hated the idea of you exchanging a rose with someone else. he wasn't selfish though, so he'd give it back to you.

"that's- that's okay." you slung your bag over your shoulder to make a quick escape after what you were about to say. "keep it. it was for you anyway, happy valentines day yeonjun."

his jaw hung open as you essentially bolted out of the room, much like this morning - but this time he was even more confused, and his poor heart was going haywire as he watched your shiny hair swish behind you as you turned the corner.

he couldn't focus for the rest of the day and kept constantly twirling the rose between his fingers instead of actually paying attention to his lectures. he wanted to find you, but he didn't know your schedule. he would have messaged you on your instagram account that he stalked but never actually had the guts to follow, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable - and if he was going to ask you on a date, he wanted to do it in person.

"you don't get it! she's perfect! and she gave me this - well, she dropped it - but when i tried to give it back she said it was for me? fuck, i like her so much and i think she was going to confess? i'm not sure, but i need to find her and ask her on a proper date," he rambled to his friends in the cafeteria. what he failed to notice was you walking by his table, hearing every word he said.

you didn't want to catch his attention, so kept moving on your way to your friend's table, but you couldn't help but feel your stomach do backflips. he liked you? and he was telling his friends? he wanted to aSK YOU ON A DATE??

"how'd it go?" chaewon asked as you sat yourself down in front of her. "horribly. but..." you explained what happened this morning, how you ran out on him twice, then how you heard what he said about 5 minutes ago. "i really like him, i just hope i don't freeze up again next class. he was such a sweetheart, making sure i was okay... ah." you shoved your face in your hands, suddenly feeling embarrassed as you recalled the events of the day.

in your moment of embarrassment, your senses weren't exactly at their best; you only notice there was someone behind you when chaewon started talking to them. "yeonjun right? hi!" she answered for you. "yeah that's me! is it okay if i steal your friend for a second?"

your head shot up and low and behold there was mr. heartstopper right next to your table, a gentle smile gracing his lips. "go ahead," chaewon nodded.

his eyes had been wandering the cafeteria, and as soon as they landed on you he knew he didn't wanna wait another minute. so after a small pep talk and four harsh slaps on his back, his friends pushed him in your direction.

"can i talk to you?" he asked sheepishly when your eyes met. when you agreed he motioned for you to follow him into the adjacent hallway. the buzzing florescent lights made your head spin, not helped by yeonjun gently taking your hand into his large, soft palm. you'd held hands before while dancing, but the quiet hallway and adoring look in his eye made it feel different this time.

"did you mean what you said to your friends?" you rushed.

"huh-? you heard me?" he asked. honestly, you didn't mean to ask him that, but your mouth moved too fast for you to filter your words. you just nodded, cheeks blooming pink, "i walked past when you said... when you said you liked me."

he was just as rosy-cheeked as you as he pulled the rose from his back pocket. "i did," he admitted.

"when- when you tried to give me this this morning, what were you going to tell me?" he asked. "that i like you. i thought valentines day would be a good opportunity to confess, but then.."

"you got called away and it threw you off a little?" he chuckled. you responded with a shy smirk, raising an eyebrow, "you're finishing my sentences already?"

ah, that snarky attitude he loved so much. "of course. now what time should i pick you up for our date later?" you stifled a laugh at him, and his grin only grew when you groaned and shoved your face into his chest, letting go of his hand and snaking your arms around his waist. you breathed in the scent of his cologne as he held you close to him, still gripping onto his rose for dear life.

"seven o'clock." you mumbled into his chest. "and don't be late."

[justastarholder]

HOLY SHIT IJUSTOHNMYGOD

Afton!!! He did somehow possess Pluto!!!! Somehow!!! And I'm sure as hell she even said that she felt like she was possessed when she attacked Moon!!!! I did think it MIGHTA be Afton but not really sure, but the new chapter!!! Holey moley!!!!

But question, how??? How did he do that??? If he could somehow control Pluto, could he try to do that with some other god??

Much like Star Mom, Aberrant has the ability to grant gods (and other beings) special gifts. :) Afton has just been sitting on this gift for a while.

See also, this exerpt from the Xmas special:

Sun found himself standing in a lively ballroom instead of among the pews he’d expected. Couples danced past him, smiling and laughing. The floor was dominated by silky green, pink and white gowns like blooming flowers in a marble pot. 

It was hard not to notice himself among them, slightly older than he had been moments before. Clad in a rich green vest and surrounded by friends. 

“My friends! Thank you for coming to celebrate our dear spring goddess with me,” he called merrily, white eyes flitting over the crowd. The older Sun watched himself dance and skip about, drink in hand. His expression sagged as he realized what was to come. 

The doors flew open and in burst Pluto, looking rightfully outraged. Red rimmed her narrowed eyes. Clear tear tracks stained her freckled cheeks. Soot smudged her hands and working clothes. Thorny red vines crawled up her arms from clenched fists. 

“What have you done?” She hissed as she drew closer, boots heavy against the polished marble floor. Among the glittering gowns and hanging tapestries, she looked like a fury straight from the depths of the underworld. There to drag Sun down into the dark for all his crimes. 

“Pluto! I’m… not sure what you’re talking about,” Sun fibbed, reaching towards her. He hesitated to grasp her hands, eyeing the wild vines that writhed between her fingers. 

“You know very well.” Pluto snapped, fresh tears running from her eyes. 

“You were busy working on the star! You weren’t available- 

“Like hell I wasn’t! I’ve told you more times than I care to count that I’m only a summons away. I could have been there. Stars above, Sun, all those people-

“That’s enough,” Sun said abruptly, grasping her shoulders. He glanced around at all the staring party goers and flushed. Sighing, he forced a smile onto his face. 

“My dear Pluto. Why don’t we discuss this somewhere private?” 

The furious goddess sighed, shaking her head. 

“Fine.” She yanked the vines from her palm before grasping his wrist and dragging him away from the party. Sun and the spirit followed their younger copies out of the ballroom and down the elegant hall of the palace. Footsteps muffled by hand-woven rugs. Glowing lights reflecting off of gilded banners and polished windows. 

As the office door closed, Pluto rounded on Sun like a hawk cornering a mouse. 

“The lead spill,” she spat, “I could have handled that. Why would you keep something like that from me?” 

“I know you’re upset,” Sun said gently, “but it was an honest accident! I was working on getting it cleaned up- 

“For a whole decade?! Do you understand how fragile men are? Lead is deadly for them!” Pluto snarled, grasping his tunic and smudging soot onto his fine clothing as she shook him. “How could you do this? People are dead. I’ve been helping Bonnibel tend to ill dragons in droves. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” 

“I know it’s bad, but- but- With all the things I need to handle- 

“So why didn’t you call upon me? Or Moon? Or your brother- 

“Because it was my responsibility!” Sun brushed her hands off. “And I confess, I handled it poorly, but- 

“Do the people know? I’ve heard that the village has been wiped from maps. Are you covering this up?” Pluto snapped once more. “If you want to take responsibility, you need to apologize and tend to the survivors.” 

“I know. I’m working on it- 

“Sun. Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not going to cover this up.” Pluto could feel the guilt oozing off of him. He looked at her helplessly. She shook her head. 

“I can’t believe you.” Pluto turned away from him. Sun reached out and grasped her wrist. She turned back to look at him, prepared to make another biting comment until she saw his face. His eyes had gone almost completely black, save for white pupils that bore into her soul. A chill ran down her spine. 

“You wouldn’t forsake me,” Sun said darkly. “I thought you loved me.” 

Soft flowers bloomed around her brow like a crown, pink as a blushing bride. Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. 

“That’s- You can’t distract me-” She shut her eyes. He cupped her cheek.

“Look at me.” 

And despite not wanting to, she did. 

“You can trust me. I’ll handle it.” Sun’s voice grew deep and strange, but Pluto couldn’t seem to snap herself free of the trance he had her under. 

“...” Sun wrapped his arms around himself, watching the scene with a heavy heart. 

“What compelled you to do something so cruel?” The spirit looked over at Sun. 

“I…” Sun shook his head. “I don’t remember this. I remember arguing, and Pluto left…”

“You don’t remember,” the spirit frowned, “but this is what transpired.” 

The two looked on as Pluto and Sun continued to stare one another down. 

“You’re one of my best friends,” Sun said quietly, smiling down at Pluto as the flowers adorning her brow began to wilt. “You’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” 

“...Of course,” she nodded, “of course.” 

“Go home, Pluto. Forget the lead spill for now.” He released her, smile fading. “Everything is fine.” The black-eyed god watched Pluto turn and walk away, seemingly possessed. Blissfully unaware of the tainted seed he had planted deep within her heart. 

[totallyexhausted]

I Would Die A Thousand Times...

I Would Die a Thousand Times

Heaven Offical’s Blessing sickfic Headcannon in the works because yeah:

San Lang getting ill (despite not breathing or having a heartbeat) and Xia Lian cares for him.

I’ll post later if anyone is interested.

Thoughts in progress - sorry for all the jumbled mess... set during series :)

…

“You needn’t worry yourself, your Highness. You’ve already shown me more than enough kindness. More than I’m deserving of.”

“Please, don’t speak of such conjecture about my dear San Lang. He is worth every bit of kindness I give and even more…”

“Please,” San Lang whispered, his head bowed slightly, “you should leave. Before I ruin you.”

Xia Lian’s fingers brushed against his temple, carding several loose sweaty strands of black hair he’d missed away from the other’s face. He spoke softly, his voice gentle but firm, “Then ruin me. Hurt me… if you want. Kill me, if you’d like. But I’m not leaving… I’ve waited over 800 years to find you again. And I’m not letting you go so easily.”

San Lang winced as the words met his ears…

Fever

Distorted reality?

Right eye blind

Passes out.

SL- Please, eat something.

XL- And you?

I’m not very hungry right now.

Hmm. What if we share then?

San Lang’s smile falters slightly before returning, reaching forward and taking the chopsticks, Xia Lian is too kind.

Picks out some things and eats slowly. Smiling every time Xia Lian makes eye contact.

San Lang? Are you alright?

Of course.

Are you sure? You’ve been rather quiet today. If something is wrong, please feel free to tell me.

This one is fine, your Highness. Just thinking.

I see. Care to share your thoughts?

Nightmare/ flashback – wakes up puking.

San Lang! Shh, it’s alright. You’re alright.

Apologies, your Highness. I’ll-

No, lay back down.

I-

Be a good boy. Do as your God commands.

It was a low blow, one that felt wrong and bitter in Xia Lian’s mouth, but one San Lang would follow, nonetheless.

Take off red robes.

Will you allow me to undress you further? The hot material can’t feel good against your skin.

No.

You will be more comfortable if-

This one doesn’t want Xia Lian to be disgusted.

I would never-

No.

SL has never denied XL of anything.

(dumps flowers out of vase from offering table)

I won’t need that.

Just in case…

Lays down, back turned away, starts drifting before he shoots up, grabbing vase/ puking. XL comforts.

San Lang, may I brush your hair?

Convo.

Will you rest now?

Only if XL will lay with this one.

Always.

High fever, boyish nightmare.

XL cooling

San Lang, hey. (eyes barely open, burning)

Your… H’ness? I-

Sh, it’s alright. You don’t need to talk, but I need to undress you further. Your fever is too high, and the extra clothing isn’t helping. I’m sorry.

Please… No, Xia L’n.

I’m truly sorry. I promise to be gentle.

Despite the disapproving whimpers escaping the other’s mouth, San Lang barely resisted, letting Xia Lian thread his arms out of his robes carefully. The God pulled the robe down slowly, trying to keep his breathing even as his eyes locked onto the copious amount of scars and tattoos, some recognized as talisman, others foreign. All, including Xia Lian’s name tattooed down his left forearm, in horrible, almost unreadable, handwriting.  

San Lang, you must drink.

What if SL becomes afraid at one point? Reverting back to a boyish memory of him being beaten in the streets as a young child, jumping, etc., due to eye… ostracized.

San Lang, it’s alright. I’m not- I would never hurt you, San Lang.

Please don’t be afraid.

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart 2 - Chapter 15

Snowball

Fifteen minutes later, Matthew was back outside the Edenbrook entrance. Butterflies – not the romantic kind – were making his stomach flutter and he shivered. Farley looked at him, but he brushed it off as cold.

Everyone was rushing around frantically as he led Farley down the corridors. He was sure the atrium hadn’t felt so frantic this morning. Maybe an emergency had come through, there was no way the hospital had always been like this. There was barely time for anyone to stop and breathe. Then an intern caught sight of him and stared so much that he almost tripped over a crash cart. Matthew quickened his pace, Farley hurrying along behind him, until they got the elevator up to the seventh floor. Farley needs me was all Matthew kept repeating to himself as he marched up to the diagnostics office.

“Matthew!” Ethan started in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I need a favour,” Matthew said, quickly. “My landlord, Farley, has a rash and he doesn’t know what caused it, but he can’t afford treatment. I was hoping the team could take him on pro bono.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t normally ask but the last couple of weeks he’s been…”

He suddenly didn’t know how to articulate how he felt when the rent had been returned to everyone’s account after the attack, or when he’d received the flowers, but Ethan seemed to understand.

“We have a diagnostics patient we’ll be seeing later, but we can treat your landlord at the same time.”

Matthew sighed in relief and waved Farley into the office where Dr Ramsey shook his hand and introduced himself. They sat down at the table for a consult.

“Have you felt ill in the last couple of weeks?”

“I don’t get sick.”

“Not at all? You haven’t had stomach pains or headaches, for example?”

“I run an apartment complex. I’m always freakin’ tired. But now you mention it, I’ve had a couple of headaches.”

Ethan nodded, making a note.

“Farley, this is what we’ll do. The diagnostics team may be required on a case overnight. I’ll assign a room and a team of nurses to take care of you and run the necessary tests until we get back, then we’ll go from there.”

“…And you’re sure I won’t be charged for this?”

“You won’t be charged for this.”

Farley sucked his teeth and nodded. “OK, sounds good.”

The diagnostics patient room was available, and Marlene was paged to deal with Farley. Matthew was standing outside the room. He should go in. He should make sure Farley was OK, maybe tell him to call if there was an issue. He would go into that room, that ordinary hospital room..any second now…

“Matthew, are you alright?”

Ethan was looking at him with concern.

“I’m OK,” Matthew said, quickly. “Were you saying the team had an overnight case?”

“We’ve been called out to Dagger Mountain, but you can go back home if you want. I’ll update you on your landlord later.”

“Wait, can’t I go to the mountain with you?”

“You’re not supposed to be back at work quite yet.” Ethan gave him a long look. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine.” Matthew held his gaze. “I wouldn’t have come into the hospital otherwise. I’m happy to get started on casework again.”

Ethan raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it.

“Alright, if you’re sure. Prepare for an overnight stay and I’ll page you when it’s time to leave.”

Matthew had to rush back to the apartment again for his overnight bag, before rushing back to the hospital. He had been telling the truth to Ethan, he wanted to be helping patients again. No big deal, just life returning to normal. It was going to happen. It didn’t matter that he had to breathe deeply as he walked through the doors, the job was stressful by nature after all.

Though he felt at a bit of a loss as to what to do now. There was no time to start on a new case. His previous patients had been reassigned and most had been treated and discharged. He could go down to the ER to lend a hand…maybe check up on Kyra…

“Matthew? What are you doing back here?”

Jackie was walking towards him, looking surprised.

“I had to admit Farley through the diagnostics team.”

“Farley? Is he OK?”

“He’s been admitted, just waiting on some tests to be done.”

Jackie nodded.

“And you’re good returning to work early?”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Ok.”

Matthew studied Jackie’s face. Her eyes – narrowed in suspicion – were slightly tinged red, and there were dark circles under them.

“Are you OK?”

She hesitated, and then nodded towards the elevators.

The doors opened out on to the empty helipad where they were greeted by a blast of wintery air. Matthew gasped; his new white coat just didn’t cut it against the cold. Meanwhile, Jackie just strolled out onto the roof, her hands in her pockets.

“I like to come out here to think, sometimes,” she said, raising her voice against the howling wind.

“I can think of quieter places,” Matthew replied. The last time he had been out here had been to drop off a patient last June. The sky had been blue and the city golden. Matthew actually liked winter, but as the leaves scattered around his feet, he at least wished he could be on ground level.

“I was going to give a presentation to some Panacea reps a few days ago,” Jackie said suddenly. “It seemed OK: they were paying good money for an hour of my time. All I had to do was study the presentation and cue cards.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Exactly. Except…I had to stop for gas and a woman asked if I could spare any cash. She had nothing at all…and she wasn’t broke when she came to me for treatment two weeks ago.” Jackie’s lip wobbled and she looked away.

“Did she recognise you at all?”

“I don’t think so. I just gave her all the cash I had on me without her looking at me too closely.”

“You can’t blame yourself for her medical bills, Jackie…”

“No, but I can blame myself for prescribing Panacea medication!” Jackie whipped around to face him. “I was willing to prescribe all the expensive medication for a restaurant gift card!”

“Was there a less expensive medication you could have prescribed?”

“I don’t know. Panacea had meds that would work and that’s as much as I thought about it.”

“They’re not the best company but they do make important medications…”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think of whether they were the best, I thought about how it would help me! Gift cards, vouchers, bonuses…that’s why I thought to prescribe Panacea.” Her eyes welled with tears. “It was great at first, not having to worry about food and rent…but I got too comfortable. And this whole time I’ve only been passing the costs onto someone else…only with interest.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, looking so miserable that Matthew put an arm around her. She didn’t pull away and even uncharacteristically leaned into him.

“I don’t blame you for any of this,” he said. “You’ve been under so much pressure, anyone would buckle. It’s natural to want to take a little easy money.”

“That just makes it even more evil,” Jackie said. “I make my life easier at the cost of bankrupting this woman…and possibly her family…god knows who else…and all it took was one signature.”

They fell silent, looking over the grey city. Matthew rubbed Jackie’s arm to comfort her…but also to generate a bit of warmth.

“I have to make it right somehow,” Jackie said, determinedly.

“That’s great, but…how?”

“…I don’t know. I’m not prescribing Panacea anymore unless I absolutely have to. I just wish I could do something bigger. I’m trying to think what.”

She looked up at Matthew and suddenly spluttered.

“Oh my god, your lips have gone blue! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get you so cold.”

“It’s OK,” Matthew chuckled. “But can we go inside now?”

Back in the elevator, Jackie seemed to be smiling with a bit more ease.

“Thanks for hearing me out. Sorry I got you cold.”

“You’re welcome, but next time we talk inside.”

The two of them exited the elevator and started walking when Gary Garrison came running up behind them.

“Dr Varma, I have Ms Montgomery’s bloodwork and I think—oh! Hi Dr Valentine. I didn’t know you were back.”

“Hi Dr Garrison.”

“OK, Valentine, I’m going back to work,” Jackie said. “I’ll catch you later.”

Matthew bade the other two goodbye before carrying on down the hall, but he was paged by Ethan before he could start worrying about what to do next again. He found the team waiting in the office, and they piled into Baz’s car for the three hour drive to Dagger Mountain. Baz put the heating on in the car and soft music played from the radio. Matthew’s eyelids drooped and he spent most of the journey dozing against the window.

He woke up in time to see them pulling up to a rustic ski-lodge. The lights were on inside, giving off a welcome glow.

“Gorgeous,” June said, as she stepped out the car.

“Feels like the start of a murder mystery novel,” Baz said. “Please tell me there’s a little moustachioed man in there solving crimes.”

“Baz, I think we’re the little moustachioed man.”

The team were greeted by Rodney Marsh, a blonde man around Ethan’s age, whose family had owned the lodge for a few generations. He led them through a reception and bar – complete with cosy armchairs and a fireplace – and up to a second-floor room with twin beds. A sour-faced woman was lying in one of them, propped up by pillows as she held an ice pack to her head. Her teenaged son hovered nearby and looked relieved at the sight of four doctors. His mother, less so.

“This is Paula, who had the skiing accident, and she’s here with her son, Timothy.”

“Tell us about the accident, Paula,” Ethan said politely, but Paula just glared at the wall as if he hadn’t spoken.

“Mom, please, you have to talk to them.”

“Fell down. Had an accident. Big whoop.”

Timothy hesitated, and then explained that Paula had hit a patch of ice and hit her head against a tree. She had been checked out for concussion, but Paula interjected that the previous doctor had been useless against her headache and rash. Matthew raised his eyebrows: Rodney hadn’t mentioned a rash. Paula grudgingly pulled her shirt aside to reveal an angry red rash on her neck and shoulder. It looked sore but there was no sign of infection.

“Any other symptoms?” Baz asked.

“Geez, isn’t this written down from the last doctor?”

“Yes, but we’d prefer to hear it from you, not second-hand.”

“Sorry. Mom doesn’t like doctors,” Timothy explained, wearily. “Just tell them, Mom.”

“…Fine,” Paula muttered. “Honey, could you bring me some more tea?”

Timothy took the mug from the bedside table and left the room.

“Honestly, there’s nothing to tell,” Paula continued to tell the doctors. She sounded a little out of breath. “I told Rodney not to make a fuss.”

At that moment, Matthew’s eyes fell on the trash can, which held a number of bloodied tissues, but when he asked about it, she shrugged it off as a nose bleed.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think she had altitude sickness,” he said. None of the others seemed to agree.

“We’re only 3000 feet above sea level…”

“Besides, it wouldn’t explain the rash.”

“Paula, are you taking any medication?”

“Just ibuprofen for the headache. Rodney gave me some cortisone cream for the rash.”

“Well, we can’t rule out concussion or contusion. You were right not to move her, Rodney,” June said.

As Timothy returned with a mug of lemon tea, Ethan and Rodney went out to scout the area of the accident and came back covered in snow – a storm was coming in fast – reporting that the rash had been caused by poison sumac clumped at the base of the tree Paula crashed into.

“Brilliant! Case solved, right?” Paula said, loudly.

“Unlikely. I think we’re dealing with two separate issues.”

“I think you have no idea what you’re doing.” Paula suddenly broke into erratic laughter. “Can you believe this? I’m stuck on a mountain with a load of incompetent doctors!” Her laugh was too long and loud to be humorous and Ethan beckoned the team outside the room with a concerned look.

“It looks like a manic episode. If her fall was traumatic enough to cause that…”

“We need to get her back to the hospital. Can we call for a helicopter?”

“Doubtful,” Baz said. “According to the radio, the storm’s been upgraded to a blizzard and is due to hit in fifteen minutes. It won’t be safe for helicopters to fly and the roads are likely closed off. Not that my car will make it.”

“Alright. We’ve prepared for an overnight stay so we monitor Paula in shifts until we can get back to Edenbrook,” June said, decisively.

They explained the plan to Rodney, who agreed to get rooms set up near Paula. The wind raging outside was already too powerful for the window to keep it at bay, and Matthew found himself shivering. Ethan casually asked if any spare blankets were available and Rodney stocked the rooms with blankets fresh from the dryer.

“Thanks,” Matthew muttered to Ethan as Baz and June went downstairs and Ethan started his shift.

“You’re welcome,” Ethan replied. “How are you feeling? Do you want the second shift with Paula, or something later?”

“Second shift sounds fine.”

Ethan nodded, rubbing his jaw. He opened his mouth as if to speak, and then closed it again.

“What’s up?” Matthew asked. Ethan sighed.

“Keep this to yourself,” he said, darkly. “But…when you were recovering, my mother was brought into the ER. She’d overdosed on heroin.”

“Oh my god…”

“She had three days of detox, like other patients. I’m currently paying for her to stay in a B and B, though that’s more for my dad’s sake than hers. He’s been worrying about her, even after all this time…” Ethan shook his head. “I’m a doctor. I should want to help. And I do. But…I don’t want to let her back in.”

“You can help her without necessarily letting her back in.”

“I suppose,” Ethan sighed. “Anyway, I should get back to Paula. Try to rest up. I’ll page you in three hours.”

Matthew finally got settled in the lodge’s bar on one of the comfy chairs in front of the fireplace with the blanket tucked around him. He had treated himself to a cocoa with marshmallows and cinnamon. June was sat at the bar nursing a small whisky and reading a medical journal, but Matthew had no inclination to join her. She had been strangely quiet around him today. It saddened him to think about the working relationship they could have had; he had been genuinely excited to work with her once upon a time.

He distracted himself by taking a picture of the scene in front of him – his drink in front of the roaring fire – and sent it to Rafael, who came back straightaway.

RA: Damn that looks cosy! Where are you?

MV: Dagger Mountain. Had to go there for a case and got snowed in for the night.

RA: As long as you’re staying warm.

MV: I am. Wish you were here though…

RA: I wish I was there too xx

“Hey you.”

Matthew looked up to see Baz settling into the other chair, a cup of eggnog in hand.

“How have you been?” Baz asked. “I’ve missed having you around. Did the time off work help?”

“It did,” Matthew said, thinking of all the lazy days he’d spent with Raf. “Anything good happen whilst I was off?”

Baz’s eyes twinkled over the rim of his cup. He beckoned Matthew closer and whispered, “June’s on probation.”

“What?!”

“Ethan was so mad at her for bringing in the senator and all that jazz, so she has to be on her best behaviour for the next three months or she’s off the team!”

“But…we were the ones who went to Kenmore…”

“The whole thing was her idea. But she and Ethan have always butted heads. I think a bust-up had been brewing for a while.” Baz sat back in his chair and reached into his bag. “How’s Rafael?”

“Doing pretty well, all things considered. His family are looking after him so he’s in good hands. He really wants to build up his strength again and…wait, are those smores?”

Baz was indeed assembling a smore on a skewer.

“Do you want one?”

“You brought your own smores to the lodge? When did you plan that?”

“Shortly after Ethan warned me we might have to stay overnight I ran to the store. I’m a doctor, I have to be prepared!”

“I can’t believe you and Zaid are even related, let alone split from the same zygote.”

“Genetics aren’t everything, Matthew!”

As Baz handed Matthew a skewered smore, Matthew held up his phone.

“Want to send a selfie to Rafael?”

“Heck yes. Tell him I say hi.”

They both gave big smiles to the camera, the fireplace in the background, and Rafael replied with a ‘hi Baz!’. Content, Matthew settled down and took a bite of his lightly toasted smore.

“Baz, I couldn’t like you smore if I tried.”

“Ha!”

“Valentine, that was the worst thing you’ve ever said,” June called lazily from the bar.

****

Matthew was up late tending to Paula, and felt like he was just dropping off to sleep when he was paged early the next morning. The storm had passed but Paula was much worse, running a fever of 103 degrees and her heartrate had been at 110 beats per minute for the past hour. As Paula whispered that it hurt to breathe, all Matthew could think about was how her symptoms added up to altitude sickness more than anything else. A helicopter was called; Matthew and Ethan rode with the Paula and Timothy, June and Baz followed in the car, only to find that Paula’s heartrate and body temp settled once they were back on sea-level.

“Proceed as if this is altitude sickness…regardless of how implausible it seems,” Ethan said as they wheeled Paula up to the diagnostics floor. “I’ll order some dexamethasone.”

Matthew swallowed hard as they exited the elevator, falling behind.

“Dr Valentine?” Timothy was trailing too. His eyes were shadowy and bloodshot and, though he’d tried to hide it, he had cried a little during the helicopter flight.

“Did you sleep at all last night, Timothy?”

“A little…not much.” His face crumpled. “Will…will my mom be ok?”

“We don’t know the exact cause of your mom’s illness right now. Altitude sickness shouldn’t be possible on Dagger Mountain.” Matthew couldn’t lie. “But we’re in the best place: she’s already showing signs of improvement. We can do a lot more for her here, so the best thing to do now is stay calm.” Timothy wiped his eyes and Matthew gave him an encouraging smile. “C’mon. I’ll show you a room where you can get some sleep. You’ll feel better.”

He found a spare room for Timothy to sleep, then realised he had better check in on Farley from the day before when he ran into Bryce.

“Oh, hey Matthew. How was the lodge?”

“Cold. But the patient’s back here now, at least. How was your night, were you out on the town?”

Bryce groaned at Matthew’s joke.

“None of that’s happening since Keiki came on the scene. My night was cheap food, math homework, budgeting, and then a night on the air mattress.”

“Sounds rough. I thought things were better between you guys?”

“They are in the sense that she feels like my sister instead of a stranger. But…I really struggled getting her enrolled at a school. We had to jump through a bunch of loops because our parents weren’t there. And…I don’t think she’s happy at school, but she doesn’t say very much about it. That, and I’m on a major surgery tomorrow night which probably means she’ll be alone for the night…again.” Bryce sighed, wearily. “I don’t know what to do, Matthew. I know she’s a teenager but I don’t like leaving her alone all the time.”

“Is there anyone she could stay with?” Matthew asked as they rounded a corner.

“I don’t know anyone who’s not currently spending a majority of their time in hospital…hang on…” Bryce frowned. Sienna and Mitch were walking towards them, Sienna talking sternly and Mitch scrolling through his phone. Matthew and Bryce shared a look.

“…Your patient in room 234 needs a catheter, and I want Ms Fletcher’s urine output monitored every hour…”

“Yeahhh, I still don’t feel like I’ve totally mastered it,” Mitch said, cagily. “You always say how important it is for me to feel comfortable and respected and putting a tube up another guy’s piece doesn’t make me feel either of those things.”

Matthew couldn’t quite stop his snort as he and Bryce backed up against the wall. Mitch finally glanced up from his phone and shock registered for a second when he saw the two of them, but then Sienna commanded his attention again. She had bunched her hands into fists.

“My shift finished ten minutes ago, and I’ve already done two enemas for you this week. After everything that’s happened, you’re not even going to try to pitch in? A lot of your fellow interns stepped up!”

“Hey now, there’s no reason to get emotional—”

“I am not emotional, I am DONE!” Sienna planted her feet directly in front of Mitch and glared directly at him. Matthew had never seen her so angry and, judging by his expression, neither had Bryce.

“You’re an intern!” Sienna continued at earth-shattering decibels. “You’re here to learn, not wet yourself whenever there’s work to do!”

“Sienna…”

“Wait, let her finish.”

“Every person in this hospital pulls their weight except you, and I’ve let you get away with it for far too long! You’ve been a lazy, entitled jerk, and your patients and colleagues have been suffering for it. And as of right now, you will treat me and everyone else in this hospital with the respect they deserve. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you…”

“Good. Catheters. NOW.”

“You tell him, Trinh!” Bryce said, winking at Sienna when she caught his eye.

Matthew let Mitch slope past him before he called him over.

“Keller.”

Mitch approached warily.

“What was that about ‘another guy’s piece’?”

“I…I just, er…”

“You are a doctor. Patients come before anything else,” Matthew said. “No matter their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, personal issues, whatever, you took an oath to do whatever it takes to save them, and if you have an issue with that, it’s time to start looking for a new job.”

Mitch didn’t say anything, but he managed to look guilty. Matthew turned his back and returned to Sienna, who was being hugged by Bryce.

“I kind of lost it there, didn’t I?” she mumbled, sounding slightly dazed.

“No,” Bryce said, gently. “I heard he had it coming.”

“Agreed. I think you’ve needed to say that for a long time now,” Matthew said. “How do you feel now it’s all off your chest?”

Sienna considered as she pulled away from Bryce, but then positively beamed at them.

“I feel free.”

****

Paula’s bloodwork came back surprisingly quickly; Ethan had requested it urgently. Matthew frowned when he read through them. There was one chemical out of place.

He brought the chart to Ethan, who had the same concerned expression that Matthew had.

“I assume you noticed the…”

“The lithium, yes.” Ethan raised an eyebrow. “We need to talk to Timothy.”

They found Timothy still sleeping in the room Matthew had put him in. Matthew felt a little bad that they had to wake him, but at least he was willing to talk.

“Was your mom lying about not being on prescription medication? It’s OK if she was but we need to know everything.”

“She wasn’t lying,” Timothy said. “She just…” A guilty look flashed across his face as he glanced at the doctors. “She doesn’t know what she takes.”

“Oh god…” It clicked into place. Paula’s mood swings in the lodge and the fact that lithium was a stabiliser. “Timothy, your mother has bipolar disorder, doesn’t she?”

“Yes,” Timothy whispered as his lip trembled. “I mean, I think so. She won’t get help because she hates doctors. Even though her mood swings were getting really bad. She said it was normal so…I paid a bipolar kid at school to split his meds with me. I told Mom they were vitamins.”

Ethan’s mouth dropped open as Matthew tugged at his hair. Timothy continued, desperation creeping into his voice.

“It…it worked though! Things have been better since. She never freaks out on me, or stays up until 5AM, or cries at the breakfast table…”

“Timothy,” Matthew interrupted. “This is a very big deal. Medicating someone without their consent is not OK.”

“But…but her mood swings have nothing to do with what’s wrong with her!”

“Actually they do,” Ethan explained. “Your mother suffered a light head injury. She should have only had a headache and a rash, but when she took the ibuprofen, it reacted poorly with the lithium and began a terrible chain affect: it led to the hyperthyroidism, causing low haemoglobin, causing altitude sickness, which made the headache worse, so she took more ibuprofen.”

“Oh god,” Timothy went pale. “This…this is…all my fault…” He broke down then, sobbing into his hands. Ethan laid a gentle hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“She’s going to be OK now, Timothy. But I need you to understand, this could have gone very differently.”

“Are you…gonna report this?”

The right answer was ‘yes’ but all Matthew could see was the scared teenager without a medical degree who only wanted to help his mom.

“I think,” he said, “Before we do anything else, you need to come clean with Paula. Tell her everything you told us, and we’ll go from there. You never know…this could well be the wake-up call she needs.”

Timothy nodded, agreeing it would be best for him to speak to Paula alone first. The doctors offered to wait outside the room in case he needed extra support, but Ethan ended up accompanying him alone; Matthew had been cornered by an irritated Marlene, who had been chasing him for a while with Farley’s lab results.

“We’ve got his bloodwork back and outlined his treatment plans. All you need to do is confirm it and finalise the paperwork.”

And then she was off down the hall, leaving Matthew to tell Farley himself.

He felt a little light-headed as he made his way to Farley’s room. His mind’s eye kept picturing the corridor sheathed in plastic, and the decontamination tent set up outside the door. His hand trembled as he reached for the door handle and when he was in the room he kept glancing around, though he didn’t even know what he was looking for.

“Hey,” Farley nodded from the bed, oblivious to Matthew’s discomfort. He didn’t even care that he hadn’t seen Matthew since he was admitted. “It’s like staying in a hotel, I even had a better night’s sleep than usual! You sure this is for free?”

“Positive,” Matthew croaked. He swallowed hard and tried again. “It won’t cost you a cent. And we found out what’s causing the rash: you have Lyme Disease.”

“Wait, I got bit by a tick?”

“Apparently so, and it may still be biting you. We’ll have to search to be sure.” Matthew leaned on the door, hoping it appeared casual and Farley wouldn’t be able to see him trembling. “The Lyme Disease was caused by the tick’s bacteria entering your blood. Luckily we caught it early enough that treatment should prevent you from suffering long-term consequences.”

“What kind of consequences?” Farley asked, with a mildly horrified interest. Matthew gripped his chart until his knuckles went white.

“Lyme Disease is a time bomb. Your initial symptoms might have gone away until you suffered a major infection in the brain or heart. But it’s easy treatment: we’ll remove the tick if it’s still there and prescribe some antibiotics. After a couple of days you’ll be back to normal.”

“Thanks, Matthew,” Farley said, sounding genuine. “I do appreciate you sorting this out for me.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

Matthew kept it together as he backed out the room. He made it out of view until his legs gave out and he collapsed against the wall, gasping for air and shaking all over. His stomach churned, he had to swallow back bile. I can’t be sick again he thought desperately. The room was cleaned. But then another thought struck him…what if the maitotoxin wasn’t gone but dormant, sleeping somewhere in his body, and was now coming back? He shook harder at the thought. The bright lights made his head hurt.

Blood was pounding in his ears too loudly for him to hear the footsteps coming, but suddenly Dr Delarosa was crouched down, staring right at him.

“Matthew,” she was saying. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I…”

Ines was suddenly helping him lie down on his back. He closed his eyes against the lights and felt her lightly resting a hand on his stomach. In an oddly commanding voice, she told him to breathe in for a count of five. He did, held it, slowly released the breath, and then repeated the process until he felt like his head was clear. He sat up very slowly and leaned against the wall. Ines lightly held his hand.

“What was that about?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Matthew whispered. His vision blurred. “I just had to see a patient and…and…”

“Was that the first time you’ve been in that patient room since the attack?”

“Yes. I had to go right in. I was the only one available.”

“You know, panic attacks are normal,” Ines said, reassuringly. “What you went through was frightening. You almost lost your life. No one would just bounce back. Frankly, I’m surprised you held on as long as you did, considering you came back yesterday.”

“I tried not to be weak…”

“Stop. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.”

Matthew bit his lip, and then a tear ran down his cheek. Ines sat beside him, putting her arm around his shoulders.

“The room was decontaminated, wasn’t it?” he asked.

“Yes. Three times, in fact.”

“And I’m not sick?”

“No, I think it’s likely caused by your anxiety. Would you like me to run a blood test to be sure?”

“Yes please.”

Ines ran the test herself and the two of them waited in the lab for the result to come through. Of course the result was clear and Matthew’s anxiety finally dissipated.

“Sorry, I’m sure you’re busy…”

“Stop apologising for needing a little help, it’s what I’m here for.” She gave him a comforting hug. “Do you want me to page Dr Ramsey or anyone?”

“No, that’s OK…I just need to speak to Rafael.”

Ines nodded in understanding and left him to make the call in peace.

Rafael answered immediately, sounding happy, and Matthew couldn’t help smiling at the sound of his voice.

“How are you?” Rafael asked. “How was your return to work?”

“It was OK. Mostly. I’m really tired.” He steeled himself. “Um…I kind of had a panic attack just now.”

“Oh, Matthew…”

“I had to go see my patient who was in the room where we were attacked and, I don’t know, I just started remembering everything that happened.”

“What happened? Are you OK?”

“Ines found me and helped me calm down. But I had to have a blood test to be fully convinced.” His voice quivered a little.

“Matthew…have you thought about getting professional help for yourself?” Rafael said gently. “I know you’re always trying to be strong but…don’t let it break you.”

Matthew was quiet as he took Raf’s words in.

“It’s really helped me the last few weeks,” Raf said. “It helped me process what happened, and I can stay grounded when the anxiety starts getting too much.”

“You still have anxiety about it?”

“It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Matthew thought he could hear a dry smile in Rafael’s voice.

“OK,” he nodded. “I’ll…I’ll look into it.” It would be nice to not want to avoid particular patient rooms at work.

“Good,” Raf said. “Do you want me to come over later?”

“Are you sure? I can come to you…”

“No, please, I need to start leaving the house properly,” Rafael joked. “Besides, you’ve had a long day.”

So they agreed that Raf would meet Matthew at his apartment later in the afternoon, then Ines told Matthew to go home for the day. The diagnostics team agreed – Timothy and Paula were in good hands, as was Farley – so Matthew went home to nap, a long, hot shower, and a relaxing cup of tea as he waited for his roommates to come home. Sienna arrived first and immediately started cooking. Matthew told her it wasn’t necessary but she insisted: Raf coming over for the first time since the attack – and getting back together with Matthew – warranted something special.

“Besides,” she added. “I feel like cooking something. I think going off at Mitch gave me an adrenaline rush.”

Raf was dropped off by Juliana later that evening and received a hero’s welcome at the door.

“Well, look at what the cat dragged in!” Jackie grinned. “Good to see you, Raf.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Raf said, as Aurora gave him a hug and Elijah rolled up for a fist bump.

“Raf!” Sienna squealed, shooting across the room and barrelling into his side. “It’s so good to see you up and about!”

“Thanks Sienna. It’s good to be here,” Raf said happily. He swamped her in his returning hug, which delighted her.

“I’ve made a chicken curry, and there’s cookies in the oven!”

“You didn’t have to do that…”

“Don’t even try to stop her,” Matthew said, approaching the group. He had hung back, letting his roommates greet Raf first, but now he walked over to greet him with a hug and a kiss.

“How are you doing?” Raf asked him quietly, keeping his arms lightly wrapped around him.

“Better now.”

The group settled onto the couch and Elijah started booting up one of his streaming services. Sienna voted for Twilight, backed up by Aurora and Jackie.

“Jackie, what the hell?”

“What can I say, I love to hate!”

Elijah groaned and turned to Matthew and Raf, his face falling when he realised Matthew seemed to be genuinely considering it.

“Sorry Elijah, but I know nothing about it. I wanna see what the fuss is about!”

“Fine,” Elijah sighed noisily. “But I pick what we watch next.”

Sienna served up bowls of delicious curry as the movie started and the gang ate whilst cracking jokes as the movie played out. As Matthew watched, he couldn’t help wondering what drew the characters together; as far as he could tell, barely a month had passed before they were declaring unconditional, irrevocable love. Still, it was filling the apartment with laughter, and he nestled against Rafael to enjoy the rest of the movie.

The action started ramping up a little with a baseball game when Matthew heard a quiet sniff beside him. He glanced over to see Raf’s eyes looking oddly wet and darting around at the group with a slightly dazed expression.

“I’m going to make some tea,” Matthew said loudly. “Anyone want a cup?”

The girls did, so Matthew stood and gestured for Rafael to follow him to the kitchen, where he flicked on the kettle, then turned so that Raf had his back to the group.

“Are you OK?” he asked. “You kind of look like you’re about to cry.”

“I am,” Rafael nodded, wiping his eyes. “It’s just…I started thinking about how lucky I am to be here and how glad I am to still be in Boston with you all…and then suddenly I started feeling like a standard movie night was the best thing in the world.” He smiled at Matthew, a few tears clinging to the ends of his eyelashes.

Matthew’s chest warmed at Raf’s words, and he entwined their fingers together.

“You’re so loved, Raf,” he said, meaning every word. “And we couldn’t be happier to have you back.”

He cradled Raf’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply. Rafael responded in kind, holding Matthew close to him, until his smile became too big to contain and he pulled away with a soft laugh, resting his forehead against Matthew’s.

“Hey!” Jackie called, making them jump. “Quit making out and make with the drinks!”

Tags: @sazanes @rafasgirl23415 @ceruleansnake0

[sunlit-tickles]

Chin Up, Leader!

Eichi / Wataru / Tori / Yuzuru

Ensemble Stars

Eichi recently feels lonely due to him being stuck, bedridden again. He really feels bad about being so ill and chooses to forget his problems by taking a small nap. What he doesn't know is that he has surprise visitors for the day.

T/W: No it doesn't include anything majorly triggering, but there is a bit of slight of angst at the start from Eichi's story. I'm not sure if this makes someone uncomfortable or not so I'm just making sure!

---☀️

Quiet, it was all too quiet. It filled up the air so quickly, and it seemed to never disappear. It was too silent, silent enough to hear water dripping, silent enough to even hear the faint sound of the air conditioning. It was all too much, but, this is currently the reality for Eichi. He was bedridden again, having to stay in the hospital one more due to his poor health. He was used to it, but he really hated the silence that he experiences everyday from it. He sat up from his hospital bed and sighed, waiting for something to happen, yet as usual nothing did.

“Well, that’s on me for expecting too much” the blonde whispered as he took a sip of water from the glass beside his table. He waited just a bit more, maybe a few minutes passed by, but alas nothing happened. Eichi felt lonely, exaggeratingly lonely, and because of that he couldn’t help but feel disappointment. A few tears fell down his cheeks but he didn’t cry, he just let those tears stain his face before laying down and dozing off peacefully.

.

.

.

“Eichiiiii~!! We’ve come to stop b—ah” “…We should probably leave in order to not disturb him.” “But we just got here! We have flowers prepared so what gives?!”

.

.

.

Suddenly, loud yet enthusiastic sounds filled the room. They weren’t just random noises—but rather voices that Eichi could recognize, it was a bit cloudy though as he was awoken by the sudden chatter. His eyes fluttered open and he turned to his side— it was his unit-mates, all there standing in the doorway. They seemed to be arguing with something but it was barely recognizable with how they’re trying to whisper in their conversation.

“…ah, hello.” He sat up from his bed, rubbing his eyes. “I didn’t expect any visitors today” he said with a small smile to his face, somehow sending a shock to the other three. “Ah, we’ll just drop off our small present, then we’ll take our leave, Master Eichi.” said Yuzuru waving his hands as he placed the bouquets of flowers on Eichi’s beside, surprised when their leader suddenly grabbed his hands. “No-! I mean…” a slight flushed tone came out of the blonde’s mouth “…you came all the way here right? Why not stay? I always have room for the three of you”.

The three of them smiled and giggled slightly. “Did you miss us, Eichi~? Was it lonely without us?” Wataru teased, approaching the leader and then sitting next to him. “Mm…yes, it c-certainly was” he said, not even trying to hide it. Tori then took a seat on Eichi’s bed, careful not to hurt him but still wanted to stay close “Ehehe~! Don’t worry Eichi-sama, we’ll stay here for as long as you like!”. It was such a cute and calm moment that Eichi couldn’t help but feel loved.

All of a sudden a finger brushed up his cheek, it was Wataru’s. “Eichi, your face has stains. Did you cry…?” he asked so bluntly, making their leader go quiet for a few moments. “…yeah, just before I slept. It’s not anything to worry of anymore though, I’m already fine.” Despite his attempts at reassurance, it was obvious they weren’t buying it. “Did you feel lonely again…?” his tone softened, it was one of those signs that it was a genuine moment, and from that he couldn’t help show that he truly did feel alone as Eichi’s lips wobbled before turning into a frown trying to force itself to smile.

“Ahh come here” Wataru pulled Eichi’s head into a hug while Yuzuru then moved to sit beside the bed and Tori then hugged his torso. It felt nice to be close with all of them, their embraces warming him up, he can’t help but allow some tears to stream down his face again. “Ah—!! Nonono-! You can’t cry again! We’re here to cheer you up and that’s exactly what we’re going to do!” Wataru exclaimed cheerfully as Tori beamed as well. Eichi giggled “I’m not crying…I just got overwhelmed.” he said as he rubbed his eyes to stop the tears, and suddenly it went silent…too silent again.

“…e-eh-? E-Eh? Why did you gUYS—AH-!” Eichi suddenly had to stop rubbing his eyes as a sudden shock surged through his nape, then all over his body. Oh no. Not this method. “Eichi-sama don’t. worry. too. much~!” Tori playfully said as each pause poked his side, making the blonde fold on himself a bit, but found himself unable to as Tori laid on his lap. “Ehehe…! T-Tori, I-I’m a bit sensihitive the-hehehere?!” Eichi cut himself off again as there was suddenly a new wave of tickles by his neck. “Yes of course we knew that! That’s why this is the best course of action isn’t it? It’s entertaining too!.

Wataru’s words quickly made the fine leader blush. “Yuzuru, care to join us~?” he asked, making the leader’s eyes grow big from anticipation. The butler nodded and moved spots to stay close to Eichi’s side. The anticipation kept growing and Eichi’s nerves were set on fire as he waited for the feeling to finally get intense due to three ticklers at once. To his shock, that didn’t exactly happen…?

The tickling was so gentle and it felt so light, despite that, the blonde was still in stitches as he started to squirm lightly and giggles couldn’t stop pouring from his lips. “Ahahahah…! W-Wahahaiit…! Ihihit tihihickles~!” he giggled, a huge grin plastered on his face. “Because we’re tickling you, Eichi.” Wataru said smugly as he squeezed his side a bit, causing him to squeak. “EEK-!! Ehehehee…!! Nahahaha..! Plehehease..!” he said, not exactly sure what he’s pleading for.

Tori decided to switch techniques, changing from poking his sides to skittering his fingers lightly “Eichi-sama’s smile is so bright isn’t it?” he teased as the leader blushed more with his giggles growing a bit more frantic “Tohohori…!” It didn’t help that Yuzuru never spoke, teased, or switched spots nor techniques, it was less ticklish than whatever the other two did but it was so consistent that the tickles never went away even if the other two paused to think of ways to tease him every now and then “nohohoho…! Wahahait…!”

He opted to hug himself as protection as he couldn’t escape even if he tried. “Guhuhuys…! I—ehehe-! I cahahan’t..!” Eichi giggles as his face as flushed from laughing too much. Slowly but carefully, all three of them moved away and stopped. A permanent smile on their leader’s cheeks, that’s exactly what they we’re looking for!

“hah…ahaha…that was so mean..!” Eichi joked as residual giggles kept pouring as the other three laughed along with him. “You can’t call us mean-! You never told us to stop or tried pushing us away! Don’t be such a liar, Eichi~!” teased Wataru, not expecting to fluster him even more. Eichi’s face was red as a tomato, but he couldn’t deny that. It was not something he could get used to, but he really appreciated the affection and just giggled while covering his face with one hand and the other to gently swat Wataru away. All of Fine did have fun during that visit, staying longer than they hoped for to keep their leader company. Eichi would be lying if he said he wasn’t grateful for them.

---☀️

A/n: I actually didn't know how to write for Fine as it was one of the unit's I didn't think of much in terms of liking, but I was always invested how their relationship worked with each other as I already did a small analysis on all the characters with their lore before as I'm super invested in the story! I'm not so confident I wrote them accurately, but I really did have so much fun writing this. Thank you so much @augustunicorn for this request it was so much fun to write!

I couldn't write for Eden just yet but I hope this'll suffice! This was based on a small comic about Fine where in they visited Eichi and wanted to gift him flowers! It was so cute!

[offbrandhange]

AOT if you were sick | 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

Headcanons on how some of the AOT boys would help/comfort you when sick! :)

Characters: Armin, Connie, Eren, Erwin, Jean, Levi, Niccolo, Reiner,

Gender: Neutral, no references to readers’ gender ! :)

a/n: I haven’t been feeling well lately so badabam badaboom here we go. Also I am trying a new format because I’m pretty sure when I write the bullet points it looks wonky on mobile?...I dunno man :/

𝕬𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓 𝕬𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖙 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Right off the bat, Armin would ask what your symptoms are. Immediately after telling him he’d rush out to the pharmacy to pick up meds, and probably some comfort food, too.

How does he comfort you?

Armin would comfort you by bringing you things you need like medicine, wet towels, clean clothes, food, etc. Constantly, and I mean constantly asking if you want anything.

He probably would also set up a little sick-station in the living room with a blanket, pillow, cup of water, wet towel, bowl of soup, etc. and put on a TV show you like and just...chill while you watch or nap (if you fall asleep midway through).

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Only if you were super sick. He would 1000% be worried about you while at work, though. You’d get “How are you doing” messages every hour, and he’d totally end up annoying the sh*t out of his co-workers for constantly talking about you being ill. Armin would probably also pick up a little snack/gift for you on his way home.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Most likely not. Armin would be scared he’d get sick too, and then you’d have to take care of him. If you begged him for a quick kiss, or you really whined for some cuddles, then maybe he’ll indulge.

𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊 𝕾𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

“Dang bro, that sucks.” And that’s all he says.

How does he comfort you?

I think if you asked him for something, he’d get you it willingly and eagerly, but otherwise he’s clueless; He assumes you’re good if you don’t say anything.

Connie would comfort you by hanging out with you. Most likely, he’d sit you down on the couch and play video games with you, like Mario Kart; or he’d show you him killing a really hard boss. I think he’d also send you funny videos/tiktoks, and I mean like, the really dumb ones, where it’s like...a fart sound effect over an image of a truck. Or a, “Can I touch that badonkadonk fool?”

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Yup, especially if you asked. I feel like Connie would take any chance he could to take off work, and you being sick would be his opening. He wouldn’t leave you alone all day, either; You’re stuck with him.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Connie does not care if you’re sick. You’re gonna get the same amount of treatment, maybe more if you whine and snuggle into his chest. He thinks you’re even more cute when you’re sick.

𝕰𝖗𝖊𝖓 𝕵𝖆𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖗 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Eren would say something like, “Oh. Are you alright?” If you said no, he’d make you a snack or ask if you want anything. Afterwards he would chill with you and probably cuddle or snuggle you. I doubt he would really worry, he’d be real calm about it.

How does he comfort you?

He’d bring you something if you needed it. The only time I could see him getting fussy about it though, is if you interrupted him while he was totally invested in a video game or on a work call.

Most definitely snuggles with you in bed. Probably would do something to tease you too, kissing down your neck and saying “Are you better yet? How about now? Are you better yet?” I can see Eren being totally down for an afternoon nap together anytime you wanted.

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

He would ask you if you wanted/needed him to. If you said yes he would, even if you weren’t really sick. Likewise, if you said you’re fine, but were far from fine, he’d call BS and stay home too; if you kept saying he didn’t need to, it’s very likely his stubborn a*s would argue with you and take off anyways.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Definitely. Eren would still, probably even more than usual, baby the ever-loving sh*t out of you. There’s no escaping his cuddles, kisses, or more...sexual activities.

𝕰𝖗𝖜𝖎𝖓 𝕾𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖍 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Erwin, like Armin, would ask what’s wrong right away. Except he would completely annoy you by asking a million f*cking questions about your symptoms. He’d probably google them too and list a ton of possibilities that are so far-fetched. He’d end up scaring HIMSELF and forcing you to go to the doctor.

How does he comfort you?

Up your A**. Every five seconds he would be like, “Need something? You’re sure? You’re sure you’re sure? I know I was here five minutes ago, yeah, but I’m just making sure. So you’re sure?”

Pets your head, ruffles your hair. Goes out to pick up medicine, snacks, maybe even flowers. Probably tries to brush your teeth for you. You know, Erwin things.

Would they take/call off work for you?

Y E S. Yes. This man would call off the whole WEEK. He wouldn’t leave you alone, either. The whole damn day he’d be breathing down your NECK. Even if the only discomfort you felt was a scratchy throat. He’d make you call off work too.

Are they still physically affectionate?

I feel like Erwin is on the verge of being either, “Yes, princess, let me hold you.” or, “Oh no, no, no, we can’t be having that. Oh no, no, no. No passing illnesses, sweetie.” If the second were true, the only way to get him off your back would be by threatening to hug him while snot was dripping down your nose. This grown ass man would probably be screaming like a (very deep-voiced) little girl and running for dear life.

𝕵𝖊𝖆𝖓 𝕶𝖎𝖗𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖎𝖓 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Jean would be so FREAKING sweet, and nobody can tell me otherwise. He’d say something like, “Awe, baby. Are you okay? Want anything?” He genuinely cares; although, immediately afterward he did anything nice or caring for you, he’d text all his dude friends and be like “yo man I’m SUCH a good boyfriend.” and brag his a*s off.

How does he comfort you?

He’d ask every once in a while if you needed anything, and he’d randomly bring you stuff like soup or a fresh cup of water. He’d probably feed you it, too.

Depending on what you wanted, Jean would either leave you alone or smother you to death. If you wanted him to leave you alone he’d check in on you every so often, and if you wanted him to smother you, he’d literally follow you all around the house. I’m talking like, cuddling or napping on the couch/bed, or straight up just following you around like an overly-attached child. His arms would be around your waist, chin on your head, and he’d waddle behind you like a d*mn penguin. And that includes trips to the bathroom. He’d probably sit outside the bathroom and wait for you, though.

Would they take/call off work for you?

If you wanted him to, were really sick, or if you were incredibly pitiful and acting like you were on your deathbed. Otherwise, I think he’d still go to work. He would bring home snacks and flowers afterwards though.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Oh my god, Jean would still be all over you. Like, there wouldn’t be a moment you’d be free from his hold. He’d probably still want to have sex with you, too as long as you were feeling well enough for it...The only exception would be if you got too over-heated or over-whelmed, then he’d very sadly hold back. Like a scolded pup, he’d just sit there...watching you...wishing you were in his arms.

𝕷𝖊𝖛𝖎 𝕬𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

You would tell him you’re not feeling well, and the first thing this man’d say would be, “What is it? You have the sh*ts? Something not coming out?” He’d get you what you needed immediately after you told him what was really wrong, though; but he’d also, very discreetly slip you a box of anti-diarrheals, too, just in case.

How does he comfort you?

Every once in a while he will ask if you need something. He’s not too over-bearing nor distant. Although, he’s probably constantly slipping you hand-sanitzers, and cleaning your room, or anything you’ve touched. It’s for your, and his sake. Oh, and he’s not handing you anything, either; he’s throwing it at you to catch. Or slipping his hand through the door with a bowl of soup/cup of water, and placing it on the floor/nearest surface. Kind of like when a cat pushes their paw through a crack, then disappears, and you’re like, “oh, would you look at that.”

I don’t think Levi would really want to be too close since he’s kind of a clean-freak, so he’d comfort you through, maybe, sending you low-quality cat memes he found on the web. Or he’d put on one of those full-on, ugly, yellow hazard suits and hold your hand while watching a reality-TV show like The Bachelorette meanwhile mocking them to oblivion. You’re legally required to laugh at the comments he makes about the people on the show; he’s doing it to be funny. He’s just awkward.

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

If you were pitiful, or not that sick, no. If you were genuinely pretty sick, then he’d call off work. He wouldn’t bug you, he’d just...stand in the corner and watch you. Just...he’d be there. Also still in his hazard suit. With his arms crossed.

Are they still physically affectionate?

No. Absolutely not. Not unless you’re talking about him and the cleaning supplies. I think if you tried to go anywhere near him, he’d get really mad and threaten you with a spray-bottle filled with water.

I think he would be upset, though. Like, I could see him having a calendar and just...sadly, squeakily dragging that marker down to form an X over the day to see how long you were sick, waiting ‘till you were better so he could hug you again.

𝕹𝖎𝖈𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖔 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

In a worried, but also kind of loving-scolding way, he’d say something like, “Geez, how’d this happen?” Immediately after he’d make you some homemade soup with fresh ingredients. Only after he would give you your medicine, because it needs a, “full stomach to work.”

Additionally, if he makes you food, don’t tell him if you can’t taste it. Please, god, don’t. He’ll feel like he did all that work for nothing then get annoyed.

How does he comfort you?

Constantly bringing you food or desserts. When he asks if you need anything, his mind jumps to a food or drink instead of medicine or a wet towel, because that’s just his strong-suit.

I feel like he would hang out with you and let you lay your head on his chest while you watched TV together. I picture him saying something like, “Hey babe, let’s watch Hell’s Kitchen.” Or, alternatively, “Hey babe, let’s watch Kitchen Nightmares.” Don’t watch Kitchen Nightmares with him. Those unclean kitchens will make HIM vomit, too.

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Niccolo probably wouldn’t call off, but he would make you a whole bunch of yummy meals for you to eat the next day. He’d probably leave you a cute little note too, like a “Feel better, love you! :-D” with hearts all over it.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Depends on what kind of sickness you had. I think if you lost your taste he’d draw the line, simply because he needs to be able to taste the food he makes. Also, it frustrates the sh*t out of him when he loses his taste. Otherwise, I think he’d be down to cuddle, and very limitedly, kiss.

𝕽𝖊𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖗 𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖚𝖓 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Gets VERY concerned. Wants to take you to the doctor, even if it’s a light illness, because he wants to make sure it’s nothing bad. He wouldn’t leave you alone after you tell him you’re sick, either. Constantly by your side.

How does he comfort you?

You wouldn’t need to ask for anything, because he already has everything for you. You’re surrounded in snacks, bottles of water, blankets, pillows, wet towels, medicine, literally anything you need, it’s already there. He’ll even offer to carry you to the bathroom, just so you don’t have to move.

Reiner would probably cuddle with you and put on a romance, family, or Disney movie. If it’s extra emotional, it’s gonna make him extra emotional. He will be squeezing you for dear life and just saying stuff like, “Boy, I don’t know what I’d do without you...”

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Yes, even if all you had was the sniffles, Reiner would have already called off, and make you call off too. He just thinks that’s what you should do if a loved one is sick. If he left you alone, he’d get worried you’d end up falling or unable to get something you need. He wants to be there for you.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Reiner would, but in a much more sweet way. He’s genuinely really worried for you, and doesn’t like seeing you sick. So be prepared for him to constantly be holding you with your head on his chest, and him peppering kisses all over your face.

[stay-midnight]

Fun through Harsh Times

Kim Seungmin x Male Reader x Bang Chan

W.C: 4.8K Words

Triggers: Explicit Smut, Human Discrimination, Conflict at the end, Some angst too.

THINGS TO NOTE: Demigod AU!! Seungmin - Son of Athena, Chan — Son of Demeter, Hyunjin — Son of Nemesis, Changbin — Son of Hades. Human Reader

Kinks/Warnings: Dom/Top Seungmin, Switch/Verse Reader, Sub/Bottom Bang Chan, Anal Sex, Unprotected Sex (make sure to cover the d to prevent std~), Buttplugs, Cuckolding, Daddy Kink, Master Kink, Use of Vines, Seungmin has a big dick, Degradation, Punishments, Usage of a different petnames, Biting, Mutual Masturbation, Lots of Cum, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Crying, Nipple Play, Ass Slapping, Use of Abilities and Powers during Sex, Bruises, Rough Sex, Soft Aftercare.

A/N: my works are getting longer I- and ooh~ this is my second? third? fic this month omg hshshsh. Also, I reread this alot of times to make sure it's okay cuz i didn't like it's based form so i had to rewrite and add new things. 💀💀, anygays hopefully you guys like this! oh and after the changbin fic which I may start writing at the 20th, in June i may open requests! this time though, ill accept three to not stress myself 💀.

You carefully remove the bread from the oven as to not burn yourself, looking at the clearly displeased customer at a call at how slow-paced you were working. You finally placed the bought breads at a plastic bag, handing it to him with a fake smile.

“Sorry, the dumb fucking human was too slow.” The customer spoke to the phone loud enough for you to catch as he walked away in a bad mood.

You sighed tiredly, remembering the amount of discrimination you received after living here for these past few months.

When Seungmin asked you to live with him and Chan at the island, you were ecstatic since you thought it would be amazing to move in with your boyfriends.

All your expectations were shut down as soon as the demigods that lived in the island clearly were not happy with you arriving. The constant murmurs and the glares were enough to tell you so.

Though, Seungmin and Chan didn't know how badly people treated you in the bakery.

You didn't wanna burden them as you were already thankful of living with them.

Changbin was there in the bakery with you anyway, if someone gets too harsh on you Bin was always there to scare them away.

Changbin was scary at first when you started working with him, when you found out he was Hades’ son — you were extremely careful to not get sent to the underworld. As time passed by, you found out he was extremely soft, so you became good friends with the man.

You blink tiredly as you picked up your bag and hauled it over your shoulder, before placing the "close" sign outside and bringing down the metal bars.

“I’m heading home now Binnie!” you shouted to the male at the back that was arranging boxes. You remove your apron, seconds later before fixing up your shirt and brushing your hair off your face.

“Bye! Stay safe on the way home, Y/N!” Changbin shouted back before groaning loudly and loud thud sound. You were about to check on him before he shouted again.

“I’m okay! Stupid box just fell..” he said out. You chuckle and slowly moved away.

“Be careful more, Bin!” you said back, before finally taking your leave with a last okay, bye! from him.

. . .

You sighed as you continued walking back to where you’re residing in — Seungmin’s mansion.

Seungmin has many times told you that you didn't need to work or and he could send a driver to pick you up. You rejected both offer, since you wanted to work and atleast help pay for your food. You also rejected the offer about the pick-up driver, opting to walk home instead.

Humming as you scrolled through the social media on your phone, you continuously walked to the direction of the place you called home with a smile on your face as you read through the cat posts.

You looked around a bit and caught the looks of disgust on the face of the nearby citizens causing you to freeze — before slowly moving again, trying to ignore them.

“What’s with them against humans anyways.” you whisper lowly as you try to ignore them, a slight pang shot through your heart, sad when you heard something.

“What did Athena’s son see in him anyways, he already has Demeter's boy. Why bring a human into the mix.” A lady near you harshly whispered.

You bit your lips trying to contain your flaring anger at her — trying to relax your nerves that was begging to have a go at her, just so you could finally arrive at the house.

. . .

You sighed in relief at the sight of the mansion gate, before even tapping the doorbell — you were greeted by the sight of the most beautiful emerald eyes, smiling brightly with dimples shown.

“Y/N~!” said male shouted in an excited manner, he looked as pretty as always and you just can't help falling for him like the day you first met.

All invasive thoughts left your mind at the sight of your bright and caring lover.

“Hi Channie~” you greeted as the gates slowly retracted to the side, removing the barrier between both of you. He ran to you and threw himself at you to which you caught him happily.

He then wrapped his arms around your neck and kissed you in a endearing way. “Where is Seung?” you ask after a bit, taking a peek at the front garden.

He let out a frown before grabbing your hand and led you through the path, “He.. He... still hasn't returned.. It’s been four days.” Chan said in a melancholic tone, his once bright eyes dimmed in sadness.

You look at him before taking notice that the plants at the sides were drying up and water was coming out of them. You frowned at the sight of it and continued as Chan led you inside.

“Chan... Seung has a lot of duties, he—” you waved your hand away at the maid entering with food to which she nods and leaves before continuing, “He has a lot on his shoulders especially dealing with the rebels, okay?” you reassured him, gently patting his head that was hung low.

Chan nodded understandingly before turning to you and leaning closer for a kiss on the lips to which you happily obliged — kissing him dearly.

“So no more, moping around. He wouldn't want that would he?” you smiled at him to which he nods at your words and gave you a lovely smile.

“He wouldn't..” he trailed off before climbing on to your lap to which you held him, you were still loving the fact that despite Chan being older than you and Min, he is the cutest.

Sure, Seungmin is cute as well but he has that scary side of him which leaves everyone shaking.

You buried your face on the neck of your lover and sighed. Chan smelled like flowers — fresh flowers to say the least, which calmed your nerves a bit. Chan giggles at you tickling his neck with your breath to which you cooed slightly.

A knock was heard from outside the door on the room you were both in, “Come in!” you said loudly for the person to hear.

A guard suddenly opened the door, “Sire’s.” he bowed deeply, “Uh, Sir Seungmin is coming home later at around an hour or so..” he said, pressing his lips to a thin line at the silent air he got and the stares from both of you.

The guard looked at you with a frown before smiling at the sight Chan. You looked at him with a saddened look to which he took note off, clearly trying not to scoff.

Chan also was suspicious at how the low demigod looked at you differently, Chan immediately raised his eyebrows at the guard

“He just wanted to let both of you know..” the guard quickly stated before leaving and shutting the door quickly due to the awkward tension he felt.

Chan bursted in a happy frenzy when the man left as he launched himself to hug you.

The flowers at the table suddenly bloomed after Chan’s was excited.

Chan slowly climbed off your lap and sat on the bed — he turned to you before raising both his eyebrows in a teasing

Then Chan smirked at you seconds later, his mind whirring thoughts. “Wanna give him a surprise?” he murmured.

You raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in demeanor — This was the Chan that teased both you and Seungmin in bed, the Chan that always had bratty plans in mind — the Chan that loved to be punished by Seungmin.

You nod without even knowing what will happen — little did you know about what’s Seungmin is gonna do to both of you later.

. . .

You look at Chan as if he was a crazy person, “Chan, are you sure? You know how Seung is when we start things without h-him?” you said in shock at the idea, shivering and stuttering at the thought when Seungmin caught both of you fucking without him. Let’s just say neither Chan or you could sit properly for days.

He tilted his head and smiled, “Cmon, Y/N.. It’ll be fun! Plus, he left us hanging for four days.” you look at Chan before sighing in defeat.

You knew Seungmin was just doing his job as Athena’s Son so Chan’s reason wasn't justifiable to say the least. But how Seungmin punished both of you was really hot at that time.. And you wouldn't mind seeing it again.

“Fine...” you said — giving in to Chan’s request, even though knowing it was a scary and terrible idea. Chan held out his hand before a pink flower and with red edges at their pollens appeared.

“Is that one of your drug flowers, again Channie?—” you asked, looked at him confused. To which Chan giggled and nodded repeatedly.

Chan is a son of Demeter, meaning he has control over nature’s plants, he is one of the tender of green life in the island but usually he isn't on duty because there are other children of Demeter on this island. You didn't know though, that Chan could create special types of flowers that contain a drug or an effect in them when inhaling their scent. The first drug flower you saw was a grey flower — it makes people fall asleep fast.

“What is it?” you asks, eyeing the flower carefully, he grinned at you before saying, “Aphrodisiac.” he said, moving the flower closer to your face.

You look at him before covering your nose immediately, “Why?!” you said through your hand, not wanting to inhale more of its alluring scent.

A smirk was back on his lips, “Maybe it’ll make you hornier therefore, maybe you can fuck me rougher?” he said teasingly before withdrawing the dangerous drug from your face.

You let go of your nose and sighed, “You could just ask..?” He looked at you straight in the eyes as you finished your statement — Chan’s orbs glinting with arousal, the aphrodisiac flower in his hand slowly wilted to gray dust.

“Hm? Would you be rough with me then?” He purred, pushing you down the bed — his emerald orbs staring down to yours, He grinded his ass on your clothed cock in a teasing manner.

A grin was plastered on his face before you switched positions with him, his back hitting the bed softly. He gasped, clearly suprised with the action.

You had both of his hands pinned on top of his head in a heartbeat causing Chan to squirm against your grip, “You’re such a brat, baby~... And I don't like brats.” you said the last part with a glare. He whined before looking up at you with puppy eyes, to which you chuckled at.

“That won’t work Channie.” you said, biting his neck harshly — him releasing a loud moan at the pain, Chan was such a painslut — he got off to Seungmin’s punishments so you expected no less.

You slowly lowered Chan’s shorts that he was wearing. Smiling at the growing dark spot at the middle of his underwear. “Already leaking? What a slutty baby, I have~” You taunted, squeezing his growing erection as you pressed your own clothed bulge against his thigh.

Chan moaned loudly at what you said his dick hardening even more.

You clicked your tongue in annoyance at the clothes you were both wearing.

You made quick work of the clothes on Chan’s body and yours as well. You noticed that vines with pink roses had appeared at the corners of the room, to which you smiled at — it shows that Chan was extremely needy.

You look at Chan — bare as the day he was born, your eyes raked over his form — from his face that had a red hue to the, to his chest and those beautiful pink buds — and to his pretty pink dick that was leaking precum down to his balls. He was so beautiful — inside and out. Fuck, his delicate pale skin was very enticing to fill with marks.

You wanted to ravage this man in front of you and savour the pleasure.

Chan let out a whine, “D— Do something, master...” he said, to which you raised an eyebrow at the sudden nickname.

You never expected Chan to call you that, so you looked at him with widened eyes before regaining your composure and moved closer to Chan as you hovered over him.

You lift his legs up shortly, licking your lips at the puckered hole — already shining and wet. “You prepped yourself already?” You ask, softly touching the ring of muscles with your thumb — gently.

He nods repeatedly, rolling his hips down impatiently — wanting some form of penetration, “Stay still, dumb pup.” you said harshly before finally shoving two fingers at his wet hole immediately. Feeling his walls clench against your digits.

“M-Master, please.... Puppy don’t need more stretching, puppy just wanna be fucked.” He begged, a tear slowly falling off his red cheeks.

You hummed, acknowledging his request — you took a condom from the drawer to which he pouted before plants came out of your hands and snagged the condom away and back to the drawer. “No condoms please...” he said, looking at you with a pout.

You smiled and lined up your tip against his lubricated hole — you smiled at his babbling words at the pressure on his entrance.

You spread his legs further — almost bending him in half, you cooed at the sight of his leaking cock — dripping a lot against his abs. You then slowly sink in to the welcoming warmth, savouring how his walls spazzes around your size.

“Ah f-fuck, puppy...” you almost howled out as your hips hit his ass. Chan was so cute — his eyes stinging with tears as he let out small moans. His chest was heaving and red was spreading all over his chest.

“M-Master, move. move, p-please...” He whined out, pushing himself back on your cock. You grinned as you remember his request earlier about being rough.

You pulled out slowly, before snapping your hips back as you fucked him precisely but rough at the same time. His useless cock was now oozing with cum at the tip. “F— Fuck fuck fuck.” he chanted repeatedly with every snap of your hips, as he rolled his eyes back at the pleasure.

You see red at the sight of Chan moaning "Master" while also cursing at the same time. You grip his muscular thighs as you pull him back on your cock, thrusting up to him in sequence.

“Pup, I’m close... God, you feel so good around me..” Chan moaned in response as you leaned down to bite a pink nipple, the bud hardening against your teeth as he arch his back against you at the sensation.

You disconnected your lips from his perked bud so you could take a look at the beautiful man underneath you.

Chan looked so fucked out, his hair was disheveled and his green eyes were shining through his tears. You were almost proud at how much you fucked Chan dumb.

“Cumming!! Master, ah~” he sniffed as he felt his cock shoot out spurts of white, reaching up to his pec — decorating his chest in his white sperm.

His walls clenched around you in a tight grip as you let out a low moan of your own as you emptied yourself inside of him — filling him up as you gripped his hips in a bruising way.

Chan’s body were trembling from the aftershock of his orgasm, you pecked his lips and smiled as you look down at him, his chest heaving and sweat and cum mixing on his pretty skin.

“I’m pulling out Channie, is that okay?” You asked in a warm tone, softly brushing your hand through his hair to relax him.

“Plug..?” he breathed out as you nod before reaching out to one of the drawers and pulling out a medium-sized buttplug before slowly pulling out of him — placing the plug to keep Chan full of your warm liquid.

He sighed in relief and smiled at you to which you smiled back, “I’ll go get a towel to clean you up, alright?” you said before getting up and placing your boxers on.

He hummed in agreement as he just laid there a bit tired of the activities.

. .

You opened the door out the room to run to the bathroom before a voice behind you stopped you, “Had fun, Y/N?” the male voice said in a cold tone.

You turned back and saw Seungmin standing, leaning at the wall as he looked at you with deadly eyes. “You both started without me.” he said blankly before trudging towards you as you stood there with cold feet.

“Why don’t you tell me, love. Who wanted it more?” Seungmin whispered to your ear when he stood in front of you his hand trailing down to your ass before grabbing a cheek.

“I— I did.”

He slapped your ass firmly — a moan slipped out of your lips from that. His eyes flashed a dangerous pink hue before it returned to normal. “Do you think you could lie to me?” he hissed out.

“A-Ah... Channie did..” You gulped at the slight anger that was hidden in his voice.

“As expected.” he chuckled darkly before pulling on your arm, slowly dragging you back to the room.

. .

A sudden opening of the door, made the tired Chan jump up from the bed. His mouth opened in shock as Seungmin was there with a grip on you.

Seungmin wanted to coo at Chan’s expression but instead kept his act on.

“Sit on the bed.” he said referring to you, to which you complied to easily. He silently grabbed the bottle of lube at a drawer — yours and Chan’s eyes following his form as he does so.

Seungmin then removed his clothes with ease, you almost drooling at his large length to which you eyed like candy, to which Seungmin took notice and almost smiled — just barely stopping himself from doing so.

“Tie yourself up, puppy.” Seungmin said in a voice of authority to which Chan lightly whimpered at, he nods slightly before placing his hand above his head and against the headboard.

A gasp left your lips as vines started to wrap and thicken around Chan’s wrists, tightening up and securing Chan on the side of the bed.

It always shocks you when Seung uses that ability he was blessed with, "Voice of Authority" as the demigods call it. Whenever Seungmin uses it, most weaker demigods will get on there knees and comply but much stronger ones can resist it. Whenever Seungmin uses it on humans though, it gives him perfect control over them.

— Seungmin promised you he will never use it on you as he doesn't want to take away your free will.

Seungmin sat on the bed, grabbing you and placing you on his lap harshly before he moved you and himself so he could face Chan.

His cock was hardening on your back as he bit your neck softly, he looked at Chan with a smirk, “Tell me puppy, what did you call Y/N earlier again?”

Chan looked at you and whined as his cock started to spring up. “I c-called him, m-master...” he said, looking at Seungmin with puppy eyes as his hole clearly clenched around the buttplug.

Seungmin chuckled as he kissed your shoulder, “And who am I to you, pretty?” Seungmin whispered in your ears huskily, clearly noticing your cock straining against your boxers.

“D— Daddy..” you asked, embarrassed as you felt Chan’s gaze upon you, a gasp left you as Seungmin pulled down your boxers in one go, his hands trailing over your thighs.

He lifted you up a bit so that your hole was exposed to Chan and so that his hands could near it.

He popped the bottle of lube open, circling your rim with a wet finger. You let out a sigh of pleasure when a finger finally went into you, slowly — it wasn't enough though, you needed more.

Seungmin took your hips rocking as a go sign as another finger joined inside till it finally became three moments later, you were bouncing on his slender fingers now and Chan was watching all of this unfold with tired eyes but his cock that was standing provided enough that Seungmin knows that he is still needy.

“Want your cock, da— daddy..” you begged out in a high voice, wanting the man behind you to fully destroy you already.

Seungmin turned to Chan that was rubbing his legs together uncomfortably — in need of some sort of friction. “Look at your master being a pathetic cockslut, Channie~” he mocked you, to which Chan let out a short “M—Mmph~”

You whimper at what Seungmin had said.

Before he lifted you up and slowly brung you down on his large dick, your back flushed against his chest.

Chan moaned at the sight of your hole taking in Seungmin’s cock deliciously while you had drool dripping down your cheek at the amazing stretch.

Chan whined against his restraints as his cock leaked as much as it could.

You lay your head back on Seungmin’s shoulder as you panted in pleasure, Seungmin nuzzled his head on your shoulder before using his fingers to pulling at your nipples.

You moaned loudly when Seungmin shifted a bit causing his cock inside to prod your bundle of sensitive nerves.

Seungmin pulled you off his dick slowly before slamming you back down, causing you to let out a cry as your hole clenched around his girth repeatedly.

“Doing so good, baby.. You feel so tight around me, yeah? Well this is gonna be a long punishment isn’t it? Let’s if you can walk tomorrow, love~” He hummed, kissing the back of your ear as you let out whimpers of pleasure.

He then look at Chan who was still messy but pretty, “Don’t think you’re out of the punishment though, slut. You’re not gonna cum as you watch me destroy your cocksleeve of a master’s hole.”

Chan thrusts up into the air and whine in retaliation, with his mind set on one thing, wanna cum.

Seungmin then started a rough pace of thrusting up into you, chasing his own pleasure and using you as his very own fucktoy for your punishment.

. . .

.

You forgot now how long Seungmin was thrusting into you and rearranging your insides — how long he had speared you on his cock. You were on cloud nine the whole time so you didn't bother to take notice of the time.

But your body was aching from your third orgasm today and Seungmin hadn't even came yet — how the hell does he last so long.. Fuck. you wanted him to fill you up like how you filled up Channie earlier.

Speaking of Chan, you looked at him and saw him whining and writhing — hopelessly rubbing his thighs together. His muscles were flexing, the more he struggles.

White spots blinded your eyesight as you trembled, your tip spurting out little dribbles of cum as you moaned weakly. Your cock felt like falling off as the lewd squelching filled the room.

Seungmin was growling while marking your neck as every thrust of his, sends a dizzying shiver throughout your body.

“I’m close now, love...” He whispered to which you responded with a simple and short, “Want it inside..”

Seungmin chuckled deeply and wrapped his hands around your waist before thrusting up to you one last time and coating your walls in sticky white with a sexy groan — as you let out a weak moan at the wet sensation.

That was what it all took for you to collapse on the bed, your cheeks pressing into the warm mattress as you felt Seung’s cum dribble out your hole — down to your balls and wetting the mattress.

Seungmin licked his lips at the sight of your entrance loose, gaping and oozing with his cum.

Seungmin was also tired, so he grabbed Chan’s cock in his hand to jerk him off fast to which Chan came immediately with a howl.

“You can untie yourself now, Channie..” Seungmin said in a soft tone,, to then which the vines restricting his hands turned into dust immediately before Chan grabbed you softly and held you.

You look at Chan with droopy eyes, smiling at him dearly. Chan giggled before holding you tightly even though his body was sticky.

Seungmin had went out of the room to fetch some dry towels and water while also leaving his two lovers to cuddle with one another.

. .

“You okay, bubs? Minnie wasn't too rough? I could prick him with thorns if you’d like..~” Chan mumbles, pecking your lips softly while also letting out a tiny laugh at then end.

You nod, giggling afterwards to which Chan smiled — brushing through your locks with his hand, a loving grin plastered on his face.

Humming softly as Chan waited for Seungmin to come back.

. .

Seungmin finally arrived with a three damp cloth hanging on his shoulder while carrying a cup and a pitcher filled with water. He smiled lovingly at the both of you before setting down the water pitcher and cups at the nightstand.

He then moved closer to the both of you to wipe both of you clean. He started with Chan, thoroughly wiping his chest down to his abs before teasing him by pushing the buttplug deeper in his ass to which Chan let out a small whine too.

After that, he cleaned you up too by wiping the cum on your thighs and around your buttcheeks.

He started to finger your gaping hole slowly too, trying to remove any more excess cum that was left inside. While being fingered, you were biting your lips, trying to not moan at a sensitive part being touched.

He looked at both you and Chan sweetly, before leaning down to kiss you both at the forehead. “Such good babies, I have~” He said in a teasing tone.

Chan pouted, “I’m older than you, Minmin!!”, he glared at Seungmin which made him laugh, he then patted Chan’s head. “Doesn’t matter, pup~” You watched their interactions with a tired smile.

Before Seungmin remembered something earlier to which he turned to you, sitting on the bed. His smile turning flat. “So, I passed by the bakery earlier and your co-worker said something to me.”

You froze on the spot before looking at his cold eyes, “Why didn't you tell me that the other citizens treated you like shit and called you names?” He said, a small anger laced in his voice. — It was not directed at you though.

Silence.

Chan’s mouth hang agape a short while before he growled — taking into account what Seungmin said, “They do fucking what to you?” He snapped, venom clearly in his tone. Chan rarely gets mad and when he does expect a disaster.

Chan barely could contain himself as roots flowed out the walls and into the hallway, Seungmin looked over at Chan, “Channie, calm down.” His eyes flashing the same pink hue as earlier in the hallway encounter.

“Calm— What? Calm down? They treat him terribly, and you expect me to not choke them where they live?” Chan seethed, not happy at what Seungmin is doing — which is trying to stop him.

The roots on the walls enlarge and footsteps was audibly heard outside the walls of the room — possibly guards that were trying to run away to avoid getting trampled by the evergrowing vines

“I’ll deal with it, so don't worry. Just don't destroy the house okay?” Seungmin tried to reason as best as he can.

But Chan didn't stop still littering the whole room with dangerous roots and long vines. Angry Chan was a force to be reckoned with ans even Min had hard times to calm him down.

“Chan.” Seungmin had used his own ability now, wanting Chan to stop what he was doing — His jaw tightened in frustration while you sat there with fear at the conflict of your boyfriends.

Chan flinched slightly before growling lowly, challenging Seungmin, “Don’t you fucking dare use that on me outside of bed, Kim Seungmin.” he said darkly, glaring at black haired man.

“Bang Christopher fucking Chan. Wilt your plants, are you challenging me? ” Seungmin looked down at Chan with a dark pink flare at his eyes, displeased with the disrespect of the nature demigod.

Chan’s eyes slowly diluted back to normal and whimpered, his plants were now gone — turned into dust, he looked at Seungmin like a puppy that had been beaten up.

Seungmin sighed and sat back down on the bed, petting Chan is in his fragile state before he grabbed him so he could hold him properly.

He looked at you before speaking, “You’re gonna have a bodyguard with you at all times, I already assigned who. Hyunjin will detain anyone who bad-mouths you, okay?” Seungmin said clear as day.

“B— But-”

“No buts, Y/N. This is for your safety, not only physically but also emotionally. Plus, they can't get away with disrespecting what’s mine.” He fumed slightly.

Your eyes softened and rubbed his shoulder comfortably to soothe his anger. “Fine. But let’s sleep for now. Chan is tired, you’re tired, I’m also tired...” you whisper to him, hugging him before he laid Chan down to the bed.

Soon enough all of you fell into a comfortable sleep, you were hugging Chan as Seungmin was spooning the both of you. The fight earlier soon vanished like a wisp as the room fell into a comfortable silence.

. . .

Special Scene~:

“How dare you fucking touch me. I am a son of A— ow! ow!” The man getting cuffed by Hyunjin said out. Hyunjin made sure to tighten the cuffs more to make sure the rude customer felt discomfort.

“Do I look like I care? No. You are going to have jail time, bitch.” Hyunjin, a son of Nemesis sassed out as he grabbed his phone and dialed someone to come pick the detainee up.

You look over at Changbin at the scene you just witnessed, he looked back at you.

“Okay, but that’s kinda ho—”

“Changbin!” you look at him, secretly judging his word choices.

“What? It’s true..” Hades’ son trailed off.

[calpalirwin]

I Think I Like You

Summary: Bucky falls for his best friend’s sister

A/N: I told y’all I wasn’t ready to let them go yet

Word Count: 5k

And away, and away we go!

__

1936

The ache in my knuckles was starting to occupy more and more of my attention as I followed Steve into the apartment complex. “So, this is home, huh?” I asked, flexing out my hands.

“Something like that,” he quipped, digging around in his pocket to produce a key, before letting us into one of the apartments.

I was about to ask what he meant by that, but stepping into the home quickly answered the question for me. There was something… acutely feminine about the place. It was tidy, much tidier than my own apartment down the block. Magazines were neatly stacked on the coffee table. In the kitchen, the counters were wiped down. And on the dining table, a vase of flowers. All subtle signs of the home containing a woman’s touch. “Oh?” I said suggestively, taking a seat on the couch.

Steve just rolled his eyes, as he sat down next to me, sighing deeply as he sunk back in the soft cushions. I looked over at him with a smirk. Alright, if he wanted to keep his secrets, he could, I decided. I also wondered if I looked half as bad as he did. His lip was split, and he was already beginning to bruise along the right side of his face. I looked down at my own hands, flexing them again. No doubt they’d bruise too. But that was about the extent of my own injuries compared to my friend.

The door clicked open behind us, and both of us swiveled our heads to look at the woman walking in, a bag of groceries in her hand, and a bag slung over her shoulder with papers all but spilling out of it. She was smartly dressed in a crisp blouse tucked into a black skirt that hugged her small frame tightly. She toed off her heels, blonde curls falling to obscure her face from my view. She didn’t seem to acknowledge my presence as she walked over to the couch, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s cheek, her face pinching into a frown when he winced. “Oh, Steven, what did you do now?” she asked, moving to set the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter, her tone suggesting that she was used to seeing the man this way. She didn’t appear to care for an answer either, as she turned out of the kitchen and disappeared down the hallway, returning a few moments later with a small first-aid kit. Only then did she acknowledge my presence, blue eyes sweeping over me with slight disdain. “Bringing your fights home now, huh?” she asked, tongue clicking in her cheek, as she grabbed his face, examining the damage carefully.

“We were on the same side,” he replied bluntly, sitting still for her while she cleaned up his face.

Her gaze flickered back to me, her tongue clicking again. “For being on the same side, it looks like he got out better than you did.”

“He’s a better fighter,” Steve explained with a shrug.

“And who is he exactly?”

“James Barnes, ma’am,” I told her politely. “Pleased to meet you. Wasn’t aware Steve here had a lady.”

Steve gave a bark of a scoff, “She’s not a lady.”

Her own eyes rolled. “What he meant to say was that I’m his sister. And I’m no ma’am either. It’s ‘miss,’ Mr. Barnes.”

“My apologies, miss.” I bit back my smirk. Not Steve’s lady, and not a ma’am only worked more in my favor. “And would you happen to have a name to accompany your title?”

“That would depend on who’s asking.”

“That would be me.”

“Then, that information would be classified, James.”

I chuckled, definitely toeing a fine line of getting in way over my head, and not caring the slightest bit. “Well, then, I suppose it’s only polite to ask if you prefer ‘sweetheart’ or ‘doll’ then.”

“From you? I’d prefer neither.” She flashed me a sweet smile, releasing Steve’s face, and snapping the first-aid kit shut. Then, she was on her feet, going back into the kitchen, and returning with two ice packs. “Might wanna ice your face and hands there, sluggers,” she said, tossing one to Steve, and the other to me. “It’ll help with the swelling.”

“You didn’t tell me you had a sister, let alone one that was a nurse, and we’ve been friends for how long now?” I questioned Steve, letting the ice pack rest across my knuckles.

“2 years. And she’s not a nurse. Just a nuisance,” he quipped, leaning his head back and placing his ice pack against his face.

“You’re the one who comes in here all bloody and bruised. So who’s the real nuisance here, dear brother?” she retorted.

“That would still be you, by a long shot. I fight bullies. You just like to fight.”

“No, I command respect. Feeble-minded men only view that as liking to fight. And you?” she asked, turning her attention to me. “Steve fights bullies. I fight for respect. What do you fight for, Mr. Barnes?”

“I fight to protect those I care about.”

“Mmm, how noble,” she said, clearly not impressed with my answer.

“And half a lie,” Steve snorted. “Go on, Buck. Tell her what you do at school.”

“Buck?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A nickname,” I brushed past. “And I’m on the wrestling team. So, sure, one could make the argument that I have fighting in my DNA. But as I’ve said, I use the advantage I have in fighting to protect those I care about.”

“Mmm, well maybe next time care a little quicker about my brother, yes?”

“With all due respect, miss, your brother has a tendency of getting himself into fights before I’m around to help get him out of them.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s true… Steve, do me a favor, and put up those groceries would you?”

He pulled the ice pack off his face to squint over at her. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

She rolled her eyes. “What’s the point of you being home if you’re not going to be useful?”

He grumbled, but got to his feet to do as she asked anyway. “So, how’s Mother?” he asked her.

“Still dying,” was the answer. “And still asking why you don’t visit.”

Steve sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to visit,” he started.

His sister held up her hand, cutting him off, “I know. Watching her die isn’t exactly pleasant. And she knows you’re busy with school, and stopping by her to help me. Nobody blames you, Steve. But she’s getting worse, so I’d make time if you can. Sooner rather than later. But not too soon. Wait until your face heals a bit. James, has my brother offered you anything to eat or drink? Or is he as bad a host as he is a fighter?”

“We were barely home a minute before you came bursting in, and started chastising us,” he told her.

She ignored his excuse. “James, can I get you anything? A glass of water?”

“A glass of water would be lovely, thank you,” I smiled at her.

“So, safe to assume you’re a friend of Steve’s from college,” she continued to make conversation with me as she filled a glass with water, then came to join me on the couch while Steve finished with the groceries. “Do you prefer to be called James? Or whatever it was he called you? Buck?”

“James. Buck. Bucky,” I shrugged. “Either works. I’m not that picky.”

“Why Buck?”

“Middle name’s Buchanan.”

“Oh, a middle name after a president, just like Steve.”

“Y/N,” Steve said in a warning. “Don’t you have studying to do?”

“Don’t you have a fight to get into?”

“Y/N?” I asked with a slight smile, liking how her name sounded on my tongue.

She glowered at Steve, not liking that he’d given her the one edge she had over me. “Yes,” she said begrudgingly.

“Pretty.”

Over the course of my afternoon spent in the apartment, I learned a great deal about the girl with the pretty name. For one, she wasn’t just Steve’s sister, but actually his twin, and she hated how adamant he was about the fact that he was still technically older. And the chip in her shoulder was just as justified as the one in her brother’s. They had a rough go of it after their father had passed a few years prior, and with the economic situation being what it was, and their mother falling ill herself it was crazy to me that they still had their education as a priority. But as someone who valued education myself, it was a trait I greatly admired.

The longer the afternoon dragged on, the more I liked her, and the more she seemed to warm up to me. Although I was uncertain if she was warming up to me because she was as equally infatuated with me as I was with her, or if it was strictly a means of stirring annoyance in her brother. Either way, I had her attention, and I wasn’t complaining.

And when the evening did draw to a close, while I wasn’t brave enough to ask her out directly, I was brave enough to suggest my interest in her.

“Bucky, can I ask something of you?” she asked, pulling the front door shut behind her to allow for a brief moment of privacy between us.

“Of course,” I asked, trying not to take too much glee in how she said my name.

“Well, I suppose it’s not really a question. But more of a request to take what I said about caring about my brother quicker seriously. He has a strong tendency, as I’m sure you’ve witnessed, of doing what he thinks is right, without stopping to think about the consequences. And he doesn’t have the… erm…” heat colored her cheeks as she fought to find the right words, “physique like you do to defend himself, despite his best intentions. So if you could be a bit quicker with that ‘I protect those I care about’ bit you were mentioning earlier, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

Did she just admit she found me attractive? “That would require me to be around your brother a lot more, you know that, right?”

“It’s a good thing you two are friends then, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I meant that it would mean I would probably be around more if I were to do that. Which I can do, no problem. Steve’s a great friend. But I would hate for my presence to ever make you uncomfortable.”

“Why would your presence make me feel uncomfortable?”

“Well, you didn’t seem all that keen on me. And if I’m being honest, I still can’t really figure out what your opinion of me is. I’m hoping it’s favorable.”

“In my defense, I came home to find my brother with a bloody face, and you with bruised knuckles. All the same, I do apologize if my original assumption made me come across as cold. Because it’s become clear to me that my brother holds you in a high regard as his friend, and I’ve never known Steve to be a bad judge of character.”

“Well, if being around Steve more for the sake of getting him out of fights quicker means I can see more of you, consider your request granted. G’night, Y/N.”

“G’night, Bucky.”

~~~

“So my sister, huh?” Steve asked when I saw him a few days later.

“What about her?” I asked, playing dumb.

“You’re smitten with her, aren’t you?”

I sighed, opting for honesty rather than something that would be an obvious lie. “Do I find her to be beautiful and charming? Yes. But would I go so far as to say I’m smitten with her? We barely know each other.”

“But you want to know her?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” was all he said.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“You’re my best friend, and she’s your sister.”

“You’re both adults. And it’s Y/N. She’d go out with you just to spite me if I was stupid enough to warn her away from you. Which I have no reason to do anyway.”

“So if I did want to ask her out, I’d have your blessing?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Buck. I’m simply saying I wouldn’t be mad about it. But if you do ask her out, which I don’t recommend doing anytime soon because she has a lot on her plate as is, she likes roses and dancing.

~~~

I was there when their mother passed away a few months later. I sat with them in the kitchen while they tearfully planned a funeral, offering to make the necessary phone calls that left their own words choked and stuck. And I stood between them when they buried her, one hand resting firmly on Steve’s shoulder, the other hanging limply at my side, fingers begging to stretch out and pull her hand into mine. 

When Steve excused himself to talk with the minister, Y/N sighed deeply next to me. “He’s all I got left,” she murmured with sad finality. “I mean, we always used to joke that it was just me and him. And I knew this would happen eventually. But… I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready for Steve to be the only family I have left.”

“He’s not,” I told her. “You have me, too.”

She blinked up at me. “I do?”

Heat colored my cheeks, and I rubbed at hand at the back of my neck as my nerves kicked in. “Y-yeah. I mean, I’m friends with Steve. I have no interest in ending that friendship. So you can count on me to be around if that’s something you want to count on.”

“Steve, yes. So a relationship with each other via proxy? Seems like quite the investment on your end.”

“Well, I’d hardly say our relationship with each other is strictly via proxy of your brother. I like to think we’ve become at least friendly with each other, if not friends directly.”

“And is that what you would like? A friendship?”

I hesitated. There was no way of answering her without condemning myself one way or another. If I said yes, then that’s all I would ever be to her. But if I answered no, I risked losing her before I had her. Either by her thinking I was insulting her by not wanting a friendship, or scaring her off if she interpreted what I said as being too forward too soon. “I’ve told you that I protect those I care about. Which means if you need me, for anything, I’ll be there.”

“And do you care for me simply because I’m your friend’s sister? Or do you care for me because you genuinely care for me?”

“You’re a smart girl, Y/N. Surely you can answer that for yourself.”

~~~

1937

“Steve,” I groaned as he dragged me through the streets of Brooklyn towards his place with a grin on his face. “I told you I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday.”

“I know. And that’s what I told Y/N, but you know she doesn’t listen to me.”

I groaned louder. “What did she do?”

“It’s just cake,” he promised. “So even by Y/N’s terms, this is very tame. But, you have to act surprised because she’ll kill me if she knows I told you.”

“Alright, alright,” I relented with a laugh.

“Close your eyes,” he said as we bounded up the stairs to the apartment.

“Is that part necessary?” I asked, closing my eyes anyway and letting him push me inside.

“Surprise!” both him and Y/N yelled, and I opened my eyes to see a small banner hanging up on the wall with the words “Happy Birthday,” sprawled across it, and a small cake waiting on the kitchen table. “We know it’s not much,” she went on, “but we wanted to do something.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully. “But you didn’t have to.”

“I know we didn’t have to. But we wanted to. Turning twenty is something special, Bucky.”

“Well again, thank you,” I told her as I took a seat at the table, noticing a small parcel wrapped neatly. “What’s this?”

Her eyes went wide. “That,” she said, snatching it off the table, and hiding it behind her back, “is for later.”

This time, it was Steve who groaned. “Y/N, we agreed on no presents. Now I look like an ass.”

“This is what makes you look like an ass?” she questioned.

“Ha-ha,” he deadpanned humorlessly. “You’re hilarious.”

“Okay, this you really didn’t have to do,” I told her with a chuckle.

“Bucky? Shut up, and make a wish.” With that, she grabbed a small lighter, lighting the candles on the cake.

While she and Steve sang “Happy Birthday” I thought about what wish I wanted to make, no matter how silly the notion seemed. But my mind couldn’t think of anything to wish for. I already had everything I wanted. So ultimately, I decided to wish for things to stay the same as I blew out the candles with a huff of breath.

“Okay,” she said, setting the small parcel in front of me, after we’d eaten the cake and Steve excused himself. “Now, you can have this.”

Carefully I tore at the paper, revealing a hardcover book, the words “The Hobbit” etched across the front cover. “Wow,” I breathed, running my fingers across the cover.

“The lady at the bookstore said it was popular. But if you end up not liking it… Well, I kept the receipt, so we can return it for something you would like,” she offered as explanation, a soft embarrassed mumble

We. “No,” I said quickly. “No, I love it. This is great, thank you,” I smiled at her.

“Happy Birthday, Bucky,” she smiled back. “And uh, if you don’t mind, when you’re finished with it, I’d like to borrow it. Didn’t have enough to buy two copies.”

“Or,” I suggested, a thought coming to me, “we could read it together.”

She tilted her head to the side in confusion. “How would we do that exactly?”

“I could read it to you. We could… make an afternoon of it. Or a few afternoons of it.”

“That sounds suspiciously like you’re proposing a date.”

“And if I was?”

“I think I’d like that.”

I grinned. “How’s Saturday, then?”

~~~

“This is going to sound stupid,” Y/N interjected when I paused in my reading.

“What’s going to sound stupid?” I asked, looking at her over the top of the book. She looked cute, resting on her stomach, her elbows propped up as she cradled her chin in her hands. Her hair blew softly with the light spring breeze, and her eyes held a dreamy look to them. Okay, she looked way more than just cute. 

“I like the way you read,” she said. “Your voice… it’s nice in general. But there’s a certain flow to how you read. Your voice does this thing where it rises and falls with what you’re reading. It’s… animated. Very engaging.”

“Well, I can easily say that’s the first time someone ever complimented my voice,” I said with a chuckle.

Her cheeks turned pink. “I told you it was going to sound stupid.”

I tucked a scrap of paper in the book, marking our spot before setting it aside. “It’s not stupid. It’s a nice compliment. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Her eyes flickered from me to the book. “Are we done for the day?”

“No, I can keep reading if you want me to,” I said, picking up the book and opening it.

She smiled up at me, and then, in a move I wasn’t expecting, she rolled over onto her back and then shifted her body perpendicular to mine, resting her head on my outstretched leg. I stiffened at the sudden intimacy of the contact. “Is this okay?” she asked.

“Y-yeah,” I choked out with a cough, forcing myself to relax. “Yeah, it’s, uh, fine.”

She gave a small giggle. “You know, you’re pretty cute when you get shy, Bucky.”

“You’re pretty cute all of the time,” I mumbled back.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said you’re pretty cute all of the time,” I said again, this time without mumbling, but glad I had the book in my hand to block my face from her view.

Her hand gently pulled mine down, the book closing once more. “Bucky, if I ask you something, do you promise to be honest with me?”

“Course,” I nodded.

“Do you like me? Romantically that is.”

I swallowed thickly, nodding. “And if you want the whole truth, it’s the ‘I’m falling in love with you’ kind of like. And that terrifies me.”

“Why does that terrify you?”

“Because it means I have more to lose.”

She let out a soft “oh,” as she pushed herself to sit upwards, a timid hand stroking up the length of my arm. “You’ll never lose me, Bucky.”

Try as I might, I couldn’t hold back. I shifted to lean towards her, my hands going to cradle her face. And then my lips were on hers, and it was sweet and powerful. And my thumbs were brushing along her cheek bones as the rest of my fingers bunched up in her hair. And her own hands were looping around my neck, her fingers tugging lightly at my hair. The air came rushing out of my lungs, and I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t dare break the kiss, savoring every sensation. 

There was a sharp intake of air and I wasn’t sure which one of us had done it, because our lips stayed locked, and I had to drop one of my hands to brace myself as the kiss grew hungry and she moved in closer, practically on top of me. I moved the hand that was still holding her face to wrap tightly around her back, needing her more than I’d ever needed anybody else before.

~~~

1939

“Whoa, slow down there, doll,” I chuckled, pulling the glass away from her lips.

“But it tastes like juice!” she told me, her eyes big with excitement.

“I know, but those drinks have a lot more alcohol in them. And if I bring you home drunk, Steve will kill me.”

“He can try,” she scoffed, grabbing the glass from me and taking another big drink. “And neither one of you can get mad at me drinking, because you both do it too,” she half sang.

“Again, your drinks have a lot more alcohol in them than our drinks do. And for another, I’m a lot bigger than you. My body can handle more.”

She set the glass down, scowling over the rim at me. “You’re no fun.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t have your drink, doll. I’m just asking you to slow down.”

“Well, can you order me another one? This one’s almost empty.”

“Of course,” I said, kissing her forehead before going back over to the bar to get us each another drink. I could feel the eyes of other girls on me as I drummed my fingers across the tabletop of the bar while I waited, but they didn’t bother me. I already had the girl I wanted staring at me like they did, and she did a whole lot more than just stare. When I turned with the drinks, I saw the way other guys in the bar were looking at Y/N back in the booth. Now, that made my skin prickle. So I squared my shoulders and slid in next to her placing a heated and heavy kiss on her cheek, smirking in triumphant as the looks dropped. “A-are you growling?” I asked with another chuckle, becoming aware of the low rumble in her throat.

“I hate the way they stare at you,” she whispered with disdain.

“Jealous?” I teased lightheartedly.

She scoffed into her drink. “Me? Jealous? Please…”

“Good. Because if anyone should be jealous, it’s me. You have the attention of every man in this bar.”

She scoffed more. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“You,” I said, kissing her cheek again. “Are the most beautiful girl in here, and everyone knows it. And I’m the lucky son of a gun that gets to take you home.”

Her eyes went wide, and a grin broke out across her face. “Take me home, Bucky.”

I didn’t need to be told twice.

I held her steady as I let her into my apartment, and she blinked in her surroundings. “This isn’t… Where are we?”

“We’re at my place. Steve would kill me if I brought you home like this.”

“I-” her face flushed. “Bucky, I’ve never…”

“We’re not,” I said softly. “I’m going to help you into bed, and then sleep on the couch.”

“Oh.” It was a simple utterance both of understanding and… was that disappointment that nothing would come of the night besides her safely sleeping her intoxicated state away?

I gave her one of my shirts to sleep in, turning my back to give her privacy, before helping her into bed. “G’night, doll,” I said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be down the hall if you need me.”

“Wait,” she whispered, her hand reaching out to grab me by my shirt. “Can you stay?”

I looked down at her, the blanket pulled up tightly around her. My bed had never looked more inviting. And what was the harm in sleeping? I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I can stay.” I stepped out of my pants before joining her on the bed, but staying on top of the covers. “G’night, doll,” I whispered, clicking off the light.

“You don’t want to marry me, do you?” she asked me, her voice filled with sorrow.

“What gave you that idea?”

“You can’t even share the covers with me!” was the wailed explanation of despair.

“I-” I sputtered, shocked at whatever had caused this outburst. “C’mere,” I coaxed, lifting up my arm for her to curl into me. “I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

“So you want me?”

“Of course I want you, doll.”

“Then how come you haven’t asked me to marry you?”

“I- You’re the most independent woman I know. I didn’t know you wanted to become a wife.”

“I don’t want to become a wife. I want to become your wife.”

“You’re gonna need to give me time to buy a ring.”

“But you’ll ask?”

“Until I’m blue in the face,” I promised.

“And we can have a house, and kids? Not an obnoxiously big house, but not a tiny one either.”

“We can have a medium-sized house, and fill it with as many kids as you want. And you can teach, and Steve and I can open up a mechanic shop. And every night,” I said, shifting to get under the blankets and pull her closer, “we can fall asleep just like this.”

“I love you, James Buchanan Barnes,” she breathed in content.

“I love you too, Y/N Y/M/N Rogers.”

“It’s Rogers-Barnes.”

~~~

1943

“Why do you keep fiddling with your pockets?” Y/N asked as we walked through Central Park, one of her hands holding mine, the other clutched holding a picnic basket with the flowers I’d bought her poking out the top.

“I’m not,” I lied, feeling the small box drop as I pulled my hand out of my pocket and waved it in her face. “See?”

She narrowed her eyes playfully. “You’re plotting something.”

“If by plotting, you mean enjoying a nice picnic with you, then ya got me. And it’s hardly plotting if you already knew.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, as we came to a stop underneath a large tree by the lake’s edge. “And what are we reading today?” she asked as I busied myself with laying out the blanket for us.

“Steinbeck.”

“Oh, I love him,” she marveled, kneeling on the blanket and pulling out our lunch.

“I know you do.”

With her head resting in my lap, and between bites of sandwich, I read from the small paperback novel. Our lazy Saturday tradition that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I only stopped reading when I heard the soft sigh as she started to doze off like she usually did. “You still with me?” I asked with a small laugh, tracing her cheek with one of my thumbs.

“Mhm,” she murmured like she always did, keeping her eyes closed. “Just thinking.”

I frowned. Her normal answer was “Keep reading.” “What are you thinking about?”

“How much I’m gonna miss this when you’re gone. How much I’m gonna miss you.”

My heart sank as I thought about the draft papers sitting on my kitchen table. “It’s just basic training. Couple weeks and I’ll be back. And I’ll only be in Jersey.”

“Ugh… Jersey…” She opened her eyes to roll them.

“I’ll be so bad at being a soldier, my sergeant will yell at me and ship me back home to you,” I laughed.

“You will do no such thing. You’ll do what you have to at camp, and then you’ll come home to me,” she told me, sitting up. “And then…” Her voice broke off, not wanting to finish the rest. After camp came Europe. And that was more than either of us were willing to think about. Camp. Camp was first. Camp had clear dates we could work with. 3 measly months. And what came after didn’t matter.

“And then,” I said, slowly pulling the box out of my pocket.

“No!” she interrupted, sternly. “James Buchanan Barnes, if you say one damned word about Europe, I will drown you in the lake,” came the threat.

“Y/N!” I laughed. “Can I tell you what happens after I get back from camp, or not?”

“Bucky…” she whined.

“Please? I really think you’re gonna like it.”

“What could I possibly like about what you coming back from camp means?”

“Because it means you’ll be my wife,” I told her, presenting her the box, snapping the top open to reveal a small gold band. “Marry me, doll.”

__

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[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin becomes a little obsessed with time, and how it’s running out:

Merlin struggles with a massive workload, and doesn’t understand how to ask for help, even with the simplest tasks, because people are relying on him. For small things, and large. He can’t let anyone down. He can’t.

REQUESTED

TW: not eating or sleeping properly, a little blood

Merlin is tired.

No one really notices the exhaustion, not at first anyway, what they do notice, is how much busier he seems to be.

He’s rushing around the castle so quickly, fetching and carrying things for Gaius, completing various chores for King Arthur, and trying to fix any problem he comes across (both the mundane, and the... less so), that no one sees him for long enough to notice the bags under his eyes. No one notices the way he sways on his feet if he stands still long enough. And if they do notice? Well, he’s rushing off to complete the next task on the list before they can say anything.

The few times he’s stopped to chat, he’s been quiet; polite but not really friendly.

His friends brush it off at first, he’s always been the type to rush places, and they figure he’s just got a lot of things to organise with the Yule celebrations coming up.

It had never really occurred to Merlin, but being the King’s Personal Manservant actually made him one of the most highly ranked servants in the castle. And that meant, everyone asking him for help, all the time.

Anything in the castle that could possibly concern The King, even briefly, was run by Merlin first. Everything from flower arrangements, to the week’s dinner menu, to which chambers to house guests in, to when exactly The King would like this paperwork completed.

It wasn’t too bad at first, Merlin had managed to stay on top of things for years, even during busier times such as these.

But this winter was different somehow. 

Merlin was a fully trained physician by this point, and he didn’t like to think about it much, but Gaius was getting older, quicker and quicker it seemed.

This just meant that more and more of the excursions that Gaius used to take outside the Physician’s chambers, were now being passed on to Merlin. 

He valued the trust that Gaius placed in him, but a trip to the lower town to treat this year’s strain of flu took him away for almost a week.

Long nights consoling young children who were in pain, followed by long days making it to as many houses as possible, to treat as many people as possible, meant he lost out on a lot of sleep. Especially since his mind was thinking about a million other things at the same time.

After finally getting the outbreak under control, he made quick work of the journey back to the castle, only to find a list of various speeches that needed writing and chores to catch up on, and a long line of panicking servants who needed whatever duties they had double checked.

Merlin had barely caught up on all of that work, staying up late through the night, when a second outbreak occurred in a different section of the city.

Gaius had made it clear to The King that the people’s health, and therefore Merlin’s position as Secondary Physician, should come first; Arthur whole heartedly agreed, and gave Merlin the time off to deal with it happily enough, but that didn’t erase the huge list of things he still had to get done when he returned.

He was only gone for three days this time, but with Yule getting closer and closer and foreign nobles arriving for the celebrations, Merlin had a ridiculous number of things to do when he got back. 

The headache that had been coming and going over the last month soon became permanent, and the shaking in his hands became something he had to actively account for any time he carried something heavier than a plate.

~

Merlin was rushing from the kitchens to the stables after dropping off Arthur’s empty breakfast tray when he heard it.

He paused in the corridor, leaning his weight against the cold stone of the wall as he strained his ears.

Just as he was about to write it off as him hearing things due to the lack of sleep, he heard it again, clearer this time, like someone was crying just on the other side of the stone.

He backtracked down the corridor a few metres, and slowly pushed open the door to a storage room, only to see Annabeth, the castle’s youngest serving girl, having a cut on her cheek being cleaned by George.

The both of them look up in shock at the intrusion, and Merlin clenches his fists as he sees the tears on Annabeth’s cheeks. He is especially worried when he sees the concern, painted clear as day on George’s face. George who was well know for being the least reactionary, most expressionless servant in the castle.

He shuts the door behind him, and walks forward, putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder. She immediately launches herself forward, and begins crying once again into Merlin’s chest.

He almost falls back, barely able to carry his own weight right now, let alone the weight of a distraught young girl, but thankfully George notices his imbalance and catches him with a firm hand on his back.

Merlin gives him a grateful, but bleary smile, as he strokes a comforting hand up and down Annabeth’s back. 

He nods to the bloody cloth in George’s other hand, and raises a questioning eyebrow.

George catches his meaning quickly, and replies in a quiet, but harsh voice:

“Lord Anselm reported that his manservant had taken ill, and requested that Annabeth take over. He was... displeased, with a dropped pillow.”

Merlin frowns in worry, as the girl, barely even fourteen summers, looks up at him with red eyes:

“I didn’t even drop it, it fell off his bed when I had my back turned. But he started yelling and he... he threw an empty goblet at me and then got even angrier at that mess. He wouldn’t let me leave for ages he was just standing over me and screaming.”

Merlin can see George tense in anger out the corner of his eye, and he calmly shushes the girl, wiping away her tears and giving her a small smile:

“He shouldn’t have done that, it wasn’t your fault. George is going to take you to Gaius, to get that looked at properly, and I’ll deal with Anselm until his manservant gets better, ok?”

George frowns slightly, but Annabeth speaks up before he can say anything:

“You won’t get in trouble, will you Merlin?”

Merlin gives her a cheeky wink and ruffles her hair:

“I’m always in trouble.” She giggles slightly, and Merlin counts that as a win.

She steps back, and George takes her hand, but he looks at Merlin, speaking quietly once again:

“Are you sure? I know you’ve got a lot of work at the moment, you can drop her off at Gaius’ and I can serve Lord Anselm, if you like.”

Merlin shakes his head, but realises quickly that was a bad idea as his vision starts swimming. He closes his eyes tightly for a few seconds and takes a deep breath, before looking back at an obviously concerned George and replying:

“No, it’s fine, I can deal with him. All those bloody quests Arthur drags me on means I’m well equipped to deal with people like Lord Anselm. Though I would appreciate it if you could pass by the stables and let them know to have Arthur’s horse prepared for noon, tomorrow.”

The fact that George’s lip twitches only slightly at Merlin’s address of the King, tells Merlin that the man is truly worried about Annabeth, and now probably Merlin’s safety as well.

He nods his head slightly, with a quiet “Of course.” and with that, the three of them leave the storage room.

They head in opposite directions, but after moving only a few feet, George looks back and calls to Merlin over his shoulder.

Merlin turns, slowly this time now that dizziness has become a problem, as George asks with a frown:

“Are you sure you’re alright, Merlin?”

Merlin gives him a small nod and smile, before waving him off:

“Yeah, I’m fine, just tired. I’ll see you later.”

George’s frown deepens, but he nods slightly, and turns back around again, leading Annabeth in the direction of the Physician’s chambers.

Merlin took a deep breath and rubbed harshly at his eyes as he watched them turn the corner, before turning in the opposite direction, and making his way to the guest chambers.

Lord Anselm was a visitor from a neighbouring kingdom, known for his harsh treatment of anyone he deemed below him (which... to be honest... was everyone, as far as he was concerned). He was here for the Yule celebrations, and to suck up to the King no doubt.

Merlin paused outside the room, taking another deep breath and trying to not look so exhausted, before knocking politely on the door.

A voice grumbles from the other side, calling for him to enter.

Merlin entered slowly, and shut the door behind him, immediately spying the Lord eating his breakfast at the table. He was an intimidating man, tall, even taller than Merlin, with a heavy gait, a thick beard, and a permanent scowl.

He looks harshly at Merlin, and roughly asks:

“Who the hell are you? Where’s my girl?”

Merlin clenches his hands behind his back, but replies neutrally, looking somewhere over the Lord’s shoulder:

“I’m afraid she has succumbed to an injury, and won’t be serving you anymore. I’m The King’s personal manservant, meaning I won’t be able to serve you full time. We’re a little understaffed at the moment, My Lord. Is there anything I can do for you this morning?”

The man growls and stands up, stalking quickly towards the manservant.

Merlin was especially glad that he was made aware of his balance and dizziness issues earlier, because if he hadn’t, he certainly wouldn’t have been able to hold himself upright when Lord Anselm swung a harsh fist to the side of his face.

He smirked horribly as he said:

“Insolent little thing, aren’t you? Are all of King Arthur’s servants so pretty?”

Merlin’s head rocked violently to the side, and he took a step back, before righting himself. He took a subtle deep breath as he winced in pain, but schooled his face back into indifference as he returned his gaze to just over The Lord’s shoulder:

“Would you like me to return your tray to the kitchen, My Lord?”

Anselm growled once more, obviously unhappy with the lack of reaction, and brought down a heavy hand on Merlin’s shoulder, leaning in close and snarling:

“You do that, pretty boy.”

Merlin waits impassively for him to release the bruising grip he had on his shoulder, before stepping around him and clearing away the tray.

Lord Anselm stared at him distastefully, but Merlin dutifully ignored it, and headed to the chamber door with the tray of leftovers and dirty plates. Anselm turns quickly towards him:

“Hurry back. I have things that need doing.”

For the first time since he entered the room, Merlin looks him straight in the eyes before saying:

“Like I said My Lord, we’re incredibly understaffed at the moment. I’m afraid no one will be able to serve you until your own manservant recovers from his illness.”

The shocked look on the Lord’s face gives Merlin just enough time to leave the room and hurry half way down the corridor, before Anselm followed him out.

Merlin heard the door bang off the wall as Anselm ripped it open, ready to shout, enraged, but the sight of the guards patrolling the corridor stopped him, and he slammed the door shut again with a huff.

Merlin let out a relieved breath. He had hoped that the sight of the guards would stop him from making a scene, and he was glad he was right.

One of the guards, an older man named Gavin who had always been kind to Merlin, stopped him with a hand on his (unbruised) shoulder:

“You alright Merlin? I though Annabeth was serving him?” He nodded at the other guard to continue on, mumbling that he would catch up in a minute, before looking back at Merlin, who blearily nodded:

“He threw a tantrum, hurt her. George took her to Gaius and I said I would deal with him.”

The guard frowned and muttered “bastard” under his breath, but widened his eyes as he saw the bruise blooming on Merlin’s cheek:

“Bloody hell, Merlin, do you always take over for the violent ones? You should get that checked out.”

Merlin sighs and shakes his head, only slightly:

“It’s fine, I’ve got too much else to deal with at the moment. The manservant he brought with him is sick, and Annabeth is certainly not serving him again, so I told him he would have to deal with minimal serving, until his servant gets better.”

Gavin let out a breath, and chuckled slightly:

“Pfft. Balls of steel, Merlin. Go on, you look in a hurry, I won’t keep you.”

With that, Merlin gives him a brief smile, before rushing towards the kitchens once again, trying not to feint the whole way.

~

The whole ordeal only pushed him twenty minutes behind, but twenty minutes was a problem when he was already three days behind on Arthur’s laundry, two days behind on stocking up on ingredients for Gaius, and two weeks overdue for a lunch with Gwen. 

Plus he still had one speech left to proof read, and considering Arthur wrote it himself, it’s more likely to end up being a full re-write, rather than a proof read.

OH, and that leak that he’d promised the stablehands he would help fix.

Ah shit. He also had to collect Gwaine’s spare sword from the blacksmith at some point, before he forgot again.

AND there was a huge delivery of flowers today, no doubt there would be some sort of problem with that.

All of that, on top of the fact that no one has tried to kill Arthur in recent weeks, and it was starting to unnerve him.

His journey to the kitchens went much like that. Task upon chore upon promise upon paranoid intrusive thought piling up in his head with every step.

He finally got to the kitchen doors, and paused outside. He took a deep, shaky breath, and shut his eyes tight, before forcing his mind to calm, and pushing through the door. 

The noise and smells immediately had him turn his head sideways, as if trying to escape the sudden onslaught, but the movement did nothing but force him to realise how much the side of his face had begun to throb.

He took another deep breath as the persistent noise, now in his mind, and out of it, made him want to scream. He resisted the urge, and dumped the tray next to the sink, before rushing out once again, ignoring the glares that the cook sent his way.

As he hurried down the corridor, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides in an effort to stop the shaking, he decided that laundry was the priority right now. If he could just get at least one basket done, that would be enough for today at least; and he could read over the speech whilst he did it.

Ok. ok. This is fine.

He finally made it to Arthur’s chambers, bursting in without knocking, and walking straight to the pile of dirty clothes. 

He doesn’t even have the energy to be annoyed at the fact that they were on the floor, instead of in the basket, and he certainly isn’t with it enough to notice the conversation between Arthur and George... wait... George??

Merlin is only lets his surprise distract him for a moment before he looks back to the laundry, bending over far too quickly, and having to hold himself up against the wall as his vision swims.

He vaguely hears George calling his name, but he waves his hand behind him absentmindedly and ignores him. He forces his eyes to focus again, as he picks up an armful of clothes.

He stumbles over to the desk, still not paying attention to the other two occupants of the room. He looks around blearily, once again beginning to clench and unclench his hands under the dirty clothes in his arms, just to stop himself from falling over.

He takes a deep breath, and interrupts whatever it is Arthur is saying:

“Speech.”

Arthur is clearly taken aback, having realised that Merlin hasn’t listened to anything either of them has said. George gives him a knowing look behind Merlin’s back, and Arthur frowns.

Merlin turns around, quick enough to make his vision blue once again, but not quick enough to make him fall over, and looks in Arthur’s vague direction:

“Speech. Where is it?”

Arthur gasps as he notices the now deep purple mark up the side of Merlin’s face and steps forward, George follows him, and takes the laundry from Merlin’s hands, and setting it on a chair before turning back to him.

He turns just in time to see Merlin almost tip backwards, and rushes forward, placing firm hand on his back once again.

Arthur slowly brings his hand up, concern written all over his face as his fingers hover just over the bruise:

“Merlin... what happened?”

Merlin rolls his eyes slightly as he turns back around to the desk, gently pushing George’s hand away and looking through the paperwork:

“Fell. Speech? I really do need it Arthur, I don’t have time.”

Arthur looks at George out the corner of his eyes, and George shakes his head, mouthing “Lord Anselm” .

Arthur frowns again, and picks up a piece of paper from his bedside table, going to hand it to Merlin, before snatching it back when he reaches for it:

“Not, until you tell me the truth, Merlin.”

Merlin huffs, and rolls his eyes again, before snapping:

“Fine, Lord Anselm punched me in the face because he’s a Lord and I’m a servant, and he can do whatever he wants to me and that’s nothing out of the ordinary. Speech. Please?”

In Arthur’s shock at Merlin’s bluntness, Merlin leans forward and grabs the piece of paper, before quickly turning away, ignoring the loss of vision at the sharp movement. He knew his way around Arthur’s chambers when he was asleep, he could manage a short black out.

He gathers up the laundry once again, and stumbles towards the door, interrupting Arthur’s:

“Merlin! Will you just-”

With:

“Don’t have time.”

And leaving the room before either of them can say anything more.

Arthur shakes himself free of the shock, and looks to George, bewildered:

“You really weren’t kidding were you? He’s completely out of it. Do you know what’s wrong?”

George frowns only slightly as he replies:

“It’s a busy time of the year My Lord, and we’re rather under staffed at the moment. Merlin has a habit of being unable to say no when people ask for help. That, on top of his normal duties to yourself and Gaius, and having to deal with the flu outbreak, I think- If I may speak freely, Sire?”

Arthur nods immediately:

“Of course, George, always.”

George nods gratefully before continuing:

“I think he’s just a little over-worked at the moment, My Lord. He’s never been good at asking for help.”

Arthur nods and hums thoughtfully. He thinks for a minute before looking back at the servant:

“Hmm. Keep an eye on him, won’t you George? I can’t have him keeling over, and make sure he gets some food in him.-”

George gives a firm nod:

“-Thank you, you’re dismissed, go back to your duties.”

With that, George turns and leaves the room, wiping the worried frown from his face and resetting it into his normal neutrality.

~

Merlin was unendingly grateful to find that the speech wasn’t actually that bad. By the time he finished hanging Arthur’s clothes to dry, he had a solid idea in his head of all the little bits he needed to tweak. He just needed to get a quill to it, and it’d be done and dusted.

He rushed as quickly as he was able without falling over, back to Arthur’s chambers, opening the door slowly this time; he really didn’t have the time to stop and chat, and if anyone was in there, he would just come back later.

Thankfully, the rooms were empty, and Merlin only had to spend around five minutes sat at the desk (where there was a small plate of food, labelled “For Merlin”, which of course went untouched. Deliberately ignored or just unnoticed, who knows), writing out his adjustments.

Five minutes however, was long enough for him to forget to not move too quickly, and the moment he tried to stand up, he immediately passed out. He fell back into the chair, and slumped forward onto the desk, his bruised cheek landing with a smack on the wood.

He woke again with a start, and jumped up quickly as he ran his hands through his hair roughly. He began to breath deeply, and tears came to his eyes as he brought his hands down roughly, gripping the edge of the table so hard he could feel his hands bruising.

Merlin, after managing to keep what he thought was a tight lid on it all day, was officially panicking.

His cheek was throbbing again, but he could barely feel it, only able to think about how much time he was wasting.

He can’t be taking naps now. He can’t. He doesn’t have the time. He’s still two days behind on laundry, two days behind shopping, two weeks since he’d last properly spoken to Gwen, he can feel a storm in the air so the leak HAS to be fixed now and Gwaine NEEDS his sword and where are those fucking flowers??

The more Merlin’s thoughts rush around his head, the more tasks he remembers that he needs to do, the more he panics. And the more he panics, the less he can breath, and the less he can breath, the more time, he is wasting.

When Merlin finally manages to open his eyes, which he hadn’t realised had been shut painfully tightly, he notices that the shadows on the walls have barely moved since he last checked.

Huh.

Ok.

He breaths slightly easier as he just about manages to drag himself over to a window, peering down into the courtyard below, to see that the castle was still busy.

He must’ve only been passed out for a few minutes at most.

It’s ok. There’s still time.

Merlin takes one last deep breath, pours himself a glass of water from Arthur’s jug and downs it all in one.

Ok. Too much to do, no more wasting time.

Merlin quickly straightens out the desk, leaving the speech in the middle for Arthur to see, and ignores the remaining fuzziness in his head as he stumbles out the door and down to the Physician’s chambers.

~

Merlin spends the next few hours down at the market.

He could feel his heart pounding louder in his ears with each second that he had to stand and wait in line, but it was no ones fault but his own that he had left the shopping too late.

He just had to be patient. Ignore the headache, ignore the pain in his cheek and shoulder, ignore the bruises on the palms of his hands from where he gripped the table, ignore the paranoid thoughts about assassins and poisoners and bandits.

By the time he made it back to Gaius’ chambers, it was dark. His hands shook violently, and he could barely see what he was unloading from his bags, but he kept pushing forward.

Without sparing a glance towards Gaius, he rushed out of the room again, now unhealthily used to the constant swimming in his vision, he dragged his hand along the stone walls of the castle corridor, and used that to navigate to the kitchen to pick up Arthur’s dinner.

The cook of course yelled at him about being late, but instead of brushing it off like he normally did, he internalised it.

He spent the whole journey up to Arthur’s chambers working himself up.

He was late. He was running out of time. He was so fucking tired. But that’s fine. That’s ok. One more job tonight, and he can rest. Just one.

He delivers Arthur’s food without a word, and if Arthur wasn’t worried before, he definitely was now.

Merlin lays out the meal, and quickly goes about lighting the fire for the night, and turning down The King’s bed. He turns to Arthur, not really bothering to focus his eyes and actually look at him, before saying:

“Anything else tonight, My Lord?”

The lack of sarcasm would be worrying enough to Arthur, but the way Merlin’s eyes stayed unfocussed, even as Arthur walked towards him, and the way his words slurred, almost sent him into a panic.

Merlin finally makes eye contact with him as Arthur grips his shoulders, but he quickly lets go when Merlin flinches in pain.

Fuck that hurt.

He’d forgotten about the bruised shoulder.

Arthur’s frown deepens:

“Merlin, are you alright? You look exhausted, you look sick. And you didn’t eat the food George left out.”

Merlin nods his head slowly, and moves towards the door, rolling his shoulder slightly to try and sooth the ache:

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine, and I’m not a dog Arthur. Just lots to do. Am I dismissed?”

Arthur nods slowly, but suddenly adds, as Merlin gets to the door:

“Yes, but only if you get something to eat and then go straight to bed. Get some sleep Merlin, whatever it is, can wait until morning.”

Merlin doesn’t look back at him, just waves his hand over his shoulder as he shuts the door behind him.

Ok. One more job. Just one more and then sleep. Maybe. He did have some useful new spells he needed to memorise... having as little time as he does means he should probably get at least a few done tonight.

Ok. One more job, then he can sit in bed and memorise some of those spells, then maybe he can get an hour or two of sleep before sunrise bought tomorrow’s jobs.

He headed over to the stables, at this time of night no one should be around, he can wave his hand, make some sparks, and the leak would be gone.

He halts in his tracks and his eyes widen as he subconsciously begins clenching and unclenching his hands once again.

No.

The stablehands know he promised to fix it. If they see it’s been fixed with some sort of miracle, instead of patched up properly, they’ll know.

Maybe he’s just being paranoid, but he’s also running on no food, no sleep, and a potential concussion. Trying to use magic right now was probably not his best idea.

He forces his hands to still, and continues his trek across the courtyard, towards the stables. 

The next time he stops, it’s because he hears the distinct sound of an armoured guard falling to the floor (the fact that he recognises the sound immediately, should tell you all you need to know about how insane Merlin’s life is).

Merlin rubs his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose briefly as he mumbles:

“For fucks sake, I knew it had been too long.”

Without wasting another second, Merlin turns back around, and sneaks carefully to where he’d heard the noise come from.

He finally spies the slumped guard by the main entrance to the castle, and after establishing that the attacker was long gone, he rushes over.

The growing puddle of blood, and lack of pulse, worries Merlin endlessly. Whoever did this was good, the guard never saw it coming, and now he was dead.

Merlin doesn’t want to leave him like this, but in all likelihood, the assassin was going to head straight to Arthur’s chambers, and Merlin had to catch up before he could do any damage.

The exhausted manservant rushes through the large doors, trying ever so hard to focus eyes, and not quite managing it, but powering through anyway. Thankfully he new the route to Arthur’s chambers by heart, he didn’t have to be able to see to know where he was going. 

He’s already out of breath before he even reaches the staircase that leads up to the royal chambers, but he doesn’t have the time to stop and catch his breath. Arthur was in danger, and as per fucking normal, Merlin was the only one that seemed to know anything about it.

He forced himself up the steps, being mindful of his weak legs and using the wall to pull himself up as quick as he could.

He swore to himself as he turned the corner to see the vague outline of a man with a dagger slip unnoticed through the doors to Arthur’s chambers.

Where the fuck were the rest of the guards?? Merlin had expected to see a few more bodies on his way up but there had been none. Shift change over maybe? In which case, how did the assassin know?

He pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind; something to worry about later, as he sprints down the corridor.

He almost falls several times, tripping over nothing but his own exhaustion, but he uses his own momentum to stop himself tipping over, forcing his feet to just keep moving forward.

He bursts into the room loudly, and the assassin, who had almost reached Arthur slumped over asleep on his desk, whips his head around to stare at him in shock.

The King mumbles from his spot on the desk:

“Merlin... I told you to get some sleep.”

That seems to snap the assassin out of his surprise, and he lurches towards Arthur, bringing the dagger up so he could swing it down viciously into his back, but Merlin rushes forward to meet him.

He shoves Arthur’s chair with as much force as he can muster, and steps into the space it had resided in as Arthur sprawls on the floor, cursing loudly.

It takes only a second for Arthur to be on his feet, a sword that was hidden under the desk gripped in his hand and any remaining sleepiness scrubbed from his face, but that second is all it takes for the dagger to sink with sickening force into Merlin’s shoulder.

Merlin gasps and staggers back as Arthur steps forward, swinging the hilt of his sword down onto the attacker’s head, and with a loud thunk, the would-be assassin drops to the floor, unconscious.

Arthur turns quickly towards Merlin, who was leaning against the wall, dagger still planted deeply in his shoulder, and once again curses loudly. He rushes forward to catch his manservant just as he falls, widening his eyes as he notices the rapidly growing crimson stain on his tunic:

“GUARDS!!” he yells it towards the still open door, but looks to Merlin as he mumbles:

“Shift... change. No one there yet.” with a groan.

Arthur curses for a third time, as he pulls Merlin’s uninjured arm around his neck, and starts to stagger towards the door, dragging Merlin, who is basically a dead weight at this point.

The manservant groans, not sure if it’s the constant, background panic that’s seemed to plague him the last few weeks, or the pain of the newest stab wound that’s making him dizzy, but either way... ow.

Merlin finally manages to raise his gaze to realise that Arthur is currently dragging him past the closest exit to the stables (god knows how they’d gotten that far without Merlin noticing), and he half-heartedly pulls away.

Arthur almost stumbles with Merlin’s sudden movement, but says strongly:

“No not that way Merlin, gotta get to Gaius, you’re going to ok, alright?”

Merlin’s breath deepens in panic, and Arthur, mistaking it’s meaning, says:

“Almost there, Merls, don’t worry, Gaius will fix you right up, just hang on a little more for me.”

Merlin tries to pull away again, going so far as to softly thump Arthur on the chest to make him let go (it doesn’t work, he’s far too weak):

“No... no, you don’t.... understand. I can‘t, I don’t.... I don’t have time.”

Arthur frowns at him, but continues moving in the direction of the Physician’s chambers. He turns his concerned face away from Merlin, to see two guards turning into the corridor ahead of them:

“HEY!! One of you go to my chambers to collect the would-be assassin, and one of you run ahead to Gaius to warn him we’re coming; deep stab wound to the shoulder. Tell anyone you might see to be on high alert, an attempt on my life has been made.”

Arthur growls as they just stand in shock, obviously taken aback at the sight of the King near dragging an almost dead-looking servant down the corridor towards:

“NOW!”

With that they jump into action, one of them sprinting back the way Arthur and Merlin had come, the other sprinting ahead, to warn Gaius.

Arthur looks back down to Merlin, trying to pick up his pace as he notices him grow weaker and weaker:

“Come on, only a few more corridors Merlin, then Gaius will take care of you and you can sleep it off. I’ll even give you tomorrow off, how does that-”

Before Arthur can finish his question, Merlin moans, and tries to pull away again:

“No... time. Too many things to do... not... no time. Leak...”

Arthur stares at him in confusion as Merlin trails off, but blinks in surprise, as he gains a sudden burst of lucidity again:

“NO! Leak needs... sorting. Flowers and... Gwaine’s sword. Check on... Annabeth-”

He pulls away from Arthur far more violently this time, and the King drops him as he staggers from the force.

Arthur curses and kneels down, panicked as he tries to get his arms under Merlin’s weight again. Which Merlin is making very difficult.

The manservant can’t really feel the pain at this point. All he knows is that time is passing. Time that should be spent fixing things. Whatever stupid thing Arthur wants right now needs to wait.

Leak. Then spells. Then catch up on laundry through the night. Then check on the flowers in the morning. Hopefully lunch with Gwen. Sword next. Then. Then he can maybe think about whatever is happening right now.

Arthur finally gets his hands under Merlin’s arms and pulls him up, growing more and more worried as Merlin tries to wiggle away, like he doesn’t want to get treated.

Only one more corridor.

Arthur continues his journey through the halls, breathing deeply with the exertion. 

Merlin had lost the last of his strength trying to escape, and the fall to the floor had knocked his other injuries slightly, so Arthur was forced to pick him up, carrying the limp man bridal style.

He finally made it to Gaius’ chambers, to see the guard holding open the door, and Gaius rushing around, gathering various ingredients and tools.

Arthur bolts through the door, not even looking at the guard as he spots the empty cot in the middle of the room, and carefully lays a clearly delirious Merlin down.

The dark haired boy continues to mumble, a frown etched deeply onto his features:

“No... time... too much else... to worry about...”

Arthur calms his own breathing before looking back to the guard:

“Make sure the alarm is sounded. Find out if the assassin was caught and report back to me as soon as you know anything. I’ll be here.”

The guard nods firmly before running out of the room, and Arthur turns his attention back to Merlin. He gasps as he notices blood dripping from the palms of his hands, and lurches forward, forcing Merlin’s fingers to uncurl.

Arthur realises with a numb horror, that something much more than the stab wound is wrong with his... friend. This isn’t even close to the worst injury he’s ever seen Merlin get, but still he lies here, panicking about something to such an extent that he drew blood with his own nails.

Gaius finally bustles over, and without even looking at him, forcefully tells Arthur:

“Hold him down, he’s in no sort of mental state for me to treat him awake, so I need to get this down him and he won’t... appreciate it.”

The King notices the vial of foul-smelling liquid in Gaius’ hands, and quickly moves around to stand behind Merlin’s shivering form.

He presses one hand down onto his uninjured shoulder, and bends over, leaning his other forearm across his chest, trying desperately to avoid aggravating the dagger still imbedded in his shoulder.

Once he’s secure, Gaius pinches Merlin’s nose, and pours the liquid into his mouth, quickly dropping the vial onto the table beside him, and massaging his throat to help it go down.

Merlin spasms for a few seconds and kicks out, but Arthur just about manages to hold him steady before he finally goes limp, his eyes rolling back, and his hands hanging off the side of the cot.

Arthur steps back, and collapses in a chair at Merlin’s side, before looking up at Gaius. The King watches the Physician bring over a pair of scissors and cut Merlin’s blood soaked tunic away, before examining the wound, and carefully removing the dagger.

Arthur tries to calm his heart rate, and takes deep breaths as he watches Gaius work, knowing that the injury, though bloody, was not life threatening.

At some point during the process of the wound being cleaned, stitched, and dressed, the guard from earlier had re-entered the chambers to say:

“The assassin was found and taken to the dungeons, sire. The castle is on high alert, and patrols are looking for any accomplices, though currently it appears the man was working alone. Two guards have been found dead, one at the castle gate, and one at the main entrance to the building.”

Arthur vaguely remembers nodding, and dismissing the guard; telling him to keep him updated, before focusing back on Merlin.

When Gaius finally slumps into the chair opposite Arthur, on Merlin’s other side, The King takes a deep breath, before asking quietly:

“What’s wrong with him, Gaius? I mean besides the obvious? George said-”

Before Arthur can finish, three thunderous pairs of feet burst through the door.

The King looks up to see Gwen, Gwaine, and Leon enter the room in a hurry. Gwen answers his questioning gaze with:

“The three of us were together when a guard told us what happened. Will he be alright?”

Gaius gives them a comforting, but strained smile, as they move towards the cot:

“He’ll be fine my dear, with time.”

Gwen moves quickly to stand by Arthur���s side, and takes one of Merlin’s limp hands in her own as she blinks away tears, her other hand covering her mouth. Gwaine rushes to the end of the cot, looking down at his best friend with a pained expression, and resting a hand on his leg. Leon steps into place above Merlin’s head, stroking a gentle hand through his hair, before focusing his concerned expression on Arthur in question.

Arthur huffs, but pays them no mind as he looks back at Gaius:

“Like I was saying, what’s wrong with him? George said he was acting oddly, and he seemed... almost sickly the last time I saw him. Then all the way here he was trying to get away from me, he just kept muttering about time, and saying he had things to do.”

Gwaine growls, and before Gaius can reply, he snarls out:

“You’ve been bloody overworking him, that’s what’s wrong. Look at him, he looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks.”

Arthur looks up, annoyed:

“That’s exactly why I’ve been giving him fewer chores, Sir Gwaine. I didn’t give him anything specific to do today, and when I told him he would have some time off on the way here, he freaked. Pulled away, I dropped him, and he just began muttering about not having time, having too much to do.”

Gwen clears her throat before timidly saying:

“He has been acting a bit strange. He seemed a little stressed after the first outbreak, but I figured that was normal for this time of year and let him be. Then he got back so late last night, and every time I saw him today he just seemed... more and more panicked. I tried to stop him a few times but he ignored me, like his mind was completely elsewhere.”

Arthur frowns at that, and Leon speaks next, his hand still absentmindedly carding through Merlin’s hair:

“Hmm. He’s been looking unwell; swaying on his feet, leaning on walls. I saw him in the market earlier today and he looked about ready to feint, but I was pulled away by a few guards. When I looked back again, he was stumbling away in the opposite direction. He looked in a rush, so like Gwen, I let him be. Perhaps he hasn’t been sleeping well?”

Gaius looks grim, and nods:

“I heard him moving about all through last night. I got up to offer him a sleeping draught but he refused, saying he had things to do. I got the impression this morning that he didn’t sleep a wink. And I remember what the yearly flu excursions were like, I doubt he slept any better whilst he was treating people in the lower-town.”

The three of them look troubled. How had they let it get this far? Merlin was clearly some sort of sick, and no one had noticed until he was ignoring stab wounds and clawing at his own skin.

Leon tilted Merlin’s head, frown deepening as he spots the purple bruise over his cheek, now also stretching up into his temple and into his hairline. His voice came out a mumble, as if he were speaking to himself:

“What happened here?”

Arthur’s face darkened, and he replied lowly:

“Lord Anselm. I informed him to leave my kingdom and told him not to come back until he could refrain from beating my staff.”

Leon nodded, face angry, and Gwaine replied:

“Bet he didn’t like that, the bastard.”

Arthur looked up at Gaius, and cleared his throat before asking:

“What do you suggest, Gaius? He’s clearly not... ok.”

Gaius sighed once more, looking down at the man who had become his son, before saying quietly:

“I imagine all three of us are right, in a way. He’s overworked, stressed, and lacking sleep. That mixed with a punch hard enough to give him a mild concussion, and the fact he likely hasn’t eaten very well over the last few weeks, led to a... miniature break down, of sorts.-”

He looks up at Arthur, who is struggling to hide how distraught he is, with grim determination:

“-He will need time off to recover. More than a few days, likely. And support. He has learnt to rely on no one but himself in recent years. Dealing with a workload that multiple people would struggle with all on his own, was almost certainly what led to his obsession with time, time running out. You will need to reassure him that any tasks he is worried about are being completed just fine without him, otherwise he’ll panic.”

Arthur nods before replying, his voice thick:

“Of course. Whatever he needs. He mentioned... a leak? And flowers, Gwaine’s sword. He mumbled a few other things as well, but I couldn’t hear him. He said something about Annabeth?”

Gaius rubs his eyes as he nods slowly:

“Yes, George bought Annabeth by earlier. Lord Anselm had hurt her and Merlin sent the two of them here before he went to deal with the Lord.-”

He looked up to see Arthur sporting a vicious frown, and continues:

“-She’s fine now, just a little shaken, her injuries will heal in a week or so. The other things he mentioned to you though...”

Arthur sighs, but Gwen speaks up, still clutching Merlin’s hand, before he can say anything:

“I overheard some of the stable-hands worrying about a leak in the stable, knowing Merlin, he probably offered to help them. And the flowers... well there was supposed to be a delivery today, for the feast decorations, but it hasn’t arrived yet.”

Arthur nods, and Gwaine swallows, looking a little guilty, before saying:

“He ran my spare sword to the blacksmith about a week ago, for repairs. I told him there was no rush, but he must’ve got in a panic about it.”

Arthur nods, but raises his eyes to Gwen in confusion:

“Ok, the sword and the leak I understand, but the flowers? Why would a castle delivery be any concern of his??”

Gwen widens her eyes in surprise, and Leon makes a disbelieving noise, before saying:

“Sire, with all due respect, Merlin is the King’s Personal Manservant. Of course it concerns him.”

At the growing confusion on Arthur’s face, Leon sighs. He drags a chair forward, and sits in his place behind Merlin’s head as he continues to absent-mindedly run his fingers through the man’s hair:

“My Lord, everything that has anything to do with you, gets run by Merlin first. Pretty much every non-political decision not directly made by you, is made by Merlin. I always thought it was rather hilarious that he didn’t seem to realise how much power he has within the castle.”

Arthur widens his eyes in realisation, and slumps back in his seat:

“I had no idea... no wonder he’s so exhausted all the time. He’s practically running the castle behind my back.”

Gwen nods sympathetically, but Gwaine still looks a little annoyed as he grinds out:

“Honestly princess. How did you think it was that the visitors you liked least were always housed in the chambers furthest away from yours? Or how the castle kitchen is always stocked up on your personal favourites? Or perhaps how council meetings always seem to be at a time most convenient for you, despite you never rearranging your own schedule? When we all joke about how you wouldn’t last a day without Merlin... we mean it. He doesn’t just dress you and feed you and sing you to sleep, he runs your whole life, mate.”

Leon and Gwen nod, and Arthur sighs, and the room goes silent for a few minutes, the only noise being Merlin’s ragged breathing.

Arthur finally straightens up, and nods to himself slightly:

“Right. Merlin gets every Monday off, no matter what, including his physician duties where possible. George is going to be reassigned as an... assistant of sorts; Merlin will hate it but I don’t care, he needs the help. He’s also going to get a bloody great big pay rise, and new chambers with a big desk. And that’s just to start with.”

Gaius raises his infamous eyebrow, but Arthur ignores it, he can see the hint of pride in his eyes. Gwen and Leon smile and nod, and Gwaine huffs before muttering:

“Yeah, that better be just to start with. Kid deserves the world.” 

Arthur stands from his chair and begins pacing, before looking back to the others in a hurry:

“Ok, Gwen, can you go find the Housekeeper, inform her that I want a few more servants to be hired, on a permanent basis. The castle is obviously understaffed if Merlin is the only one fixing everyone else’s problems. Take Gwaine with you, a guard informed me the assassin had been caught and was likely working alone, but just in case.-”

With that, Gwen nods and leaves, closely followed by Gwaine, who stops only to give Arthur a short, assessing gaze, before giving him a nod and leaving.

“-Leon, find the Steward, and George if you can. Find a set of chambers that can be reassigned to Merlin, and tell them to begin the process immediately. Not too big, he’d complain and refuse to use them but... oh you know what he’s like, I trust you’ll pick something to his... tastes.”

Leon gives Arthur another smile, before heading towards the door. Just before he can leave, Arthur calls out for him again:

“And if you could have a plate of food sent here as soon as possible. I don’t think he’s eaten all day and we’ll need to get something down him when he wakes up.”

Leon nods, and leaves without another word. Arthur collapses back into his chair before looking at Gaius, and blushing at the fond smile on the older man’s face:

“What?”

Gaius just shakes his head as his smile grows:

“Nothing, my boy. I’m just glad you’re finally realising at least a little of what Merlin sacrifices for you.”

Arthur frowns and tilts his head:

“You mean there’s more he’s giving up than sleep, food, and any and all free time he has?”

Gaius drops his smile fractionally, but covers it quickly (not quick enough that Arthur didn’t notice however) :

“Hmm. Nothing that you need to worry yourself over, My Lord.”

Arthur’s frown deepens:

“Well now I’m just going to worry about it even more. What is it Gaius? If you won’t tell me what the problem is, at least tell me the solution.”

Gaius settles a heavy, pensive gaze on Arthur, and stays silent for a few moments before answering slowly and quietly:

“A long time a go, I gave Merlin some... difficult, advice, pertaining to which secrets he should keep to himself. Perhaps when he wakes I shall rescind said advice. But ultimately, whether he tells you the true extent of his... well, truth, or not, is up to him. I advise you not to push him.”

Arthur huffs:

“So he’s hiding something from me?”

Gaius gives The King a sympathetic smile:

“He’s hiding a multitude of things from a multitude of people. There are very few people who know Merlin fully. His life has been... difficult, from birth, to such an extent that not even I’m aware of what’s going through his mind, the pain he suffers, and I live with him.-”

Gaius stops hesitantly, but Arthur nods for him to continue. He looks deeply troubled, before saying:

“All I can request Sire, is that, if he does decide that he trusts you enough to reveal himself fully, let him finish the story in it’s entirety before you start forming conclusions, and remember, that everything he does, he does for Camelot, for you.”

Arthur’s face shows slight confusion, but he nods firmly. He may not fully understand what on earth Gaius is talking about, but he has a feeling he’ll know it when he sees it. Plus, Merlin means a great deal to him, and the man obviously does a lot for him, the least Arthur can do in return is sit patiently and wait for Merlin to come to him with whatever truth Gaius thinks is so worrying.

~

It was late in the night when Merlin started to stir, only a few hours until sunrise.

Arthur and Gaius had both fallen asleep after checking over Merlin’s bandages. Gaius had settled in a cot in the corner of the room, and Arthur was curled up in his seat, Merlin’s hand clutched in his.

Arthur woke slowly at first, and then all at once, when he realised that Merlin’s hand was twitching in his own. He leaned forward on his seat, frowning, as he stroked Merlin’s forehead gently with his other hand.

Merlin’s eyes blinked open, as he muttered Arthur’s name. The King smiled gently, placing a comforting hand in the centre of Merlin’s chest, and squeezing his hand slightly:

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

Merlin frowns slightly, before he gasps with wide eyes and tries to sit up. Arthur pushes back gently against his chest, and Merlin is far too weak to do anything about it as Arthur speaks quietly:

“No no no, you stay right there. You need to get better before you start rushing around again.”

Merlin frowns and begins to breath deeply:

“No, I don’t have the time Arthur, there’s too much I gotta do.”

He tries to sit up again, but Arthur holds him down, struggling to think of what to say to calm his manservant down before he did more damage to himself:

“No there isn’t. You can’t do anything when you’re sick and injured, alright?-”

At Merlin’s panicked expression, Arthur hurries to continue:

“Don’t worry, Merlin. Gwen spoke to the housekeeper about hiring some new servants to help. I’m going to get Percival to fix the leak in the stable later, Gwaine doesn’t need his sword for at least a few days, and to be perfectly honest, he can get it himself. The housekeeper will deal with the flowers, and Annabeth is fine, Gaius saw her earlier and sent her home for the day. There’s nothing for you to worry about, ok?”

Merlin frowns, and blinks blearily, clearly beginning to lose his lucidity:

“Are you ok? The... assassin... looked pretty... pretty... serious...”

He trails off, but refuses to close his eyes, and lifts a shivering hand to loosely clasp Arthur’s wrist as Arthur replies:

“You haven’t slept or eaten properly in days, you’ve been smacked around and stabbed, and you’re asking me if I’m ok?”

At Merlin’s once again panicked expression, Arthur sighs:

“Yes Merlin, I am one hundred percent ok, and so is everyone else. The assassin was caught, everyone is safe, and there’s nothing that you need to think about right now. Let go, get some sleep.”

Merlin frowns indignantly, and murmurs:

“I’ve already... slept too... long... gotta-”

Arthur huffs before interrupting him:

“Being unconscious is not the same as being asleep. Go to sleep Merlin. I promise, I will wake you up if you are needed in any way... do... do you trust me?”

Merlin looks at him oddly, before his eyelids flutter shut and he goes limp. Arthur just about hears the muttered-

“More that anyone.”

-before Merlin passes out once again, and after waiting a few minutes to make sure he wasn’t faking it (definitely something Merlin would do), he collapses back in his chair.

Merlin really was sick.

Arthur huffs with annoyance at himself, how had he not noticed this sooner? Why hadn’t he pushed it when he came to collect the laundry? Why hadn’t he given Merlin a day off when he got back from the lower-town? Though, knowing Merlin, he probably would’ve spent all day working anyway, even if it wasn’t directly for Arthur.

Arthur’s thoughts are racing so much that he knows he isn’t going to get back to sleep, but it was far too early in the day for anything official to get done; the city was asleep. And besides, even if there was something to be done, Arthur found himself exceedingly unwilling to let go of Merlin’s hand.

So sitting here and thinking was his only option it seemed.

Gwen, Gwaine, and Leon had come back around an hour after he had sent them away, and he was more than pleased with what they had to report.

The housekeeper had drafted up notices asking for permanent, paid, help in the castle, to be distributed in the lower-town tomorrow (or... later today).

Leon and the Steward had found a suitable set of chambers for Merlin, about halfway between Arthur’s and Gaius’, small compared to Arthur’s rooms, but still bigger than the footprint of Merlin’s house back in Ealdor.

Arthur hadn’t managed to get any food in Merlin when he briefly woke up, but the plate that Leon had sent up still sat their waiting, and it would be ready when Merlin was lucid enough to eat.

Arthur was still very worried about the man he had grown to trust more than even himself, but he also trusted Gaius, and if Gaius wasn’t freaking out, then neither would Arthur.

~

The next few days were... difficult, to say the least.

It took a lot of persuading to convince Merlin to stay in bed, and even a few sleeping draughts slipped into his tea, courtesy of Gaius.

Merlin was also getting increasingly annoyed at all of his friends visiting him, and treating him like he was made of glass. 

He was getting desperate to leave the Physician’s chambers and get some work done, and Gaius was not best pleased when he caught the man trying to sneak out.

Gaius sternly told him to sit down and shut up for a minute whilst he explained why exactly he can’t get out of bed yet, and Merlin reluctantly sat back down, nodding at Gaius to start talking:

“Merlin, you hadn’t slept at all in at least seventy-two hours. You hadn’t slept well for the several weeks before that. You hadn’t eaten all day, and I imagine that you hadn’t eaten properly, again, for the several weeks before. You had a mild concussion and fractured collarbone, courtesy of Lord Anselm. Bruises on your hands from gods know what. Balance and dizziness issues caused by being medically exhausted. You are stressed far beyond levels that are even vaguely healthy. All of this, before you sustained a serious stab wound. Merlin, you had a panic attack, yesterday, over not being able to fix a leak. You can not keep working like this, or you will burn yourself out again, and then where will we be? You are of no use to anyone if you drop dead. So will you please, just trust that Arthur has things handled just fine without you.”

Merlin had the decency to look a little ashamed at first, but rolls his eyes when Gaius mentions Arthur:

“That man never has anything handled. Gods know how he’s even managed to get dressed the last few days.”

Gaius raises an eyebrow, an obvious “I dare you to argue with me right now” look if Merlin has ever seen one.

Merlin huffs before climbing fully back into his bed (still in the Physician’s chambers. Gaius advised against telling Merlin of all the changes that were happening until after he was better, otherwise he would... simply put, he would freak) and looking to his lap, frowning.

Gaius sighs, and puts a gentle hand on Merlin’s least-injured shoulder:

“Be patient, Merlin. You fail to realise how many people care about you, and how much. We would be devastated to lose you, it’s hard enough to see you suffer like this. So let yourself heal fully, if not for yourself, then for us.”

Merlin looks up at him tiredly (everything seems to tire him out at the moment) with tears in his eyes and Gaius leans forward to gather the boy in a hug.

Merlin falls into it easily, and buries his head in the crook of Gaius’ neck as the older man runs a hand through his hair. He sniffles slightly, before mumbling:

“I’m sorry.”

Gaius smiles sadly, not that Merlin can see it, before replying quietly:

“No need to apologise my boy, just get some sleep. I believe that Guinevere will be joining us for dinner later.”

Merlin nods before removing himself from Gaius’ arms, and settling back under the covers. He shifts until he’s comfortable, and whispers a soft goodnight (I mean... it’s the middle of the afternoon but he’s sleeping the nights and days away at the moment), before drifting off.

Gaius sighs once more, before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him quietly.

They had a long way to go. Physically, Merlin was well on his way to healing, but emotionally... well. He had a father-figure physician, a fellow servant, five boisterous but loving knights, and a King who may or may not be in love with him.

He’d get there. He just needed a little more time.

~

THE END

Thank you so much for requesting this anon, I had fun writing it! It kept getting longer and longer and I almost split it into two, but I just decided to go for it in the end.

I hope y’all enjoy! Same as always, you wanna write it up with proper paragraphs and extend it and everything, go for it, credit and tag me :)

Let me know if y’all want my thoughts on anything in particular!

[ablackfangirlwrites]

Jealous

A/n: y'all should already know I really like beyonce and I really like fics inspired by music so this is just a product of that 😘 I linked the song in the title

Also language warning? Da be cursing in this one

You watched the clocks hit 4am

Keigo should have been home hours ago

Yet he wasnt

Not even a call or text

Clearly he forgot or he didnt care

And all you could do was sit there alone and feel pathetic

Your tears had already dried up a half hour ago

But that didnt mean you felt anything less then humiliated as you sat there with the now empty bottle of champagne and half naked in the lingerie you bought

It was your two year anniversary

You had it all planned out although you didnt plan for him to be a no show

But you could only blame yourself for that

Having a hero as a boyfriend is difficult

Anyone who was in a relationship with one would agree with that

But you were sure you had it just a bit worse

Because your boyfriend just so happened to be the number 2 hero

You thought it was bad when he was just number 3

But since hawks started holding the second spot it kept getting worse

At first things were fine; Great even.

He was a dotting boyfriend the two of you talked and laughed with each other about everything

Anyone who saw you together wouldn't have any doubts that you were in love

And you knew being in an official relationship would be difficult he was a hero after all

And especially since he didnt even want anyone knowing about the two of you

But you remember all those sweet words keigo would tell you

"I don't know what I'd do without you babe."

"I dont want anyone else sweetheart."

"Kid you're the most important person in my life."

"I love you y/n."

But that was the thing keigo said those things keigo was the one who kept promises he was the one you fell in love with

Not hawks

They were different people

Hawks was the man who put everything above you

The one whos lies and refuses to be straight with you

The one who shuts you out

The one who shamelessly flirted with everyone even on national tv knowing you'd see

But still didnt seem to care

And if he didn't care why should you?

Hawks got home around 6am and saw the place a mess

Curtain on the floor, broken glass. Everything disheveled

He almost thought someone had broken in and had a fight

But he knew bettter when he saw you sitting on the couch mascara stain on your face

"Shit." He mutter to himself

He knew exactly why you were upset and had this tantrum

But it wasnt exactly like he could pause in the middle of a mission to text you

"Im sorry y/n." He said sitting a banquet of roses down beside you

But keigo knew at this point those flowers were useless

"You think thats supposed to make me feel better?" You said bitterly

"Babe-"

"Dont fucking babe me." You yelled at him, "You forgot! I sat up all night looking like an idiot and you forgot because when it comes down to it you don't care about anyone but yourself keigo!"

"I was working."

"Like I believe that," you shook your head, "I bet you were with one of your new sidekicks. I bet you were just showing off for one of your adoring fans forgetting that im here."

You knew he was telling the truth he had no reason to lie about it

But in your mind you wanted to yell, you wanted to be angry you wanted to hurt him like he had been hurting you

Because tonight wasnt the first time he didnt keep a promise as of late or just simply neglected you

This had been boiling for a while and now the pot was over flowing

Hawks grew more frustrated as you yelled you were making stuff up and it wasn't even his fault

"It wasn't like that," he tired to talk only for you to jump in

"Save it hawks." You rolled your eyes walking out the room, "just admit you dont appreciate me cause you're comfortable knowing im just sitting here waiting on you and you don't have to put any real effort when you want to get your dick wet."

Keigo followed you from the other room yelling, "You know that isnt true! And you knew how this relationship was going to be from the beginning!"

"What realtionship?" You yelled, "You're barely home! I never see you anymore, and when I do its either you on tv flirting with some random person! Or when were here together you dont talk anymore! How do you think that makes me feel?"

You were letting your fears and jealousies speak, "is it someone else? Are you fucking somebody else Keigo."

"You are so insane of course not! Im working all the time its commission stuff I cant talk about it." Keigo knew deep down you were right he had been drifting away but that was because of work not because he was falling out of love with you

But maybe it was the stress of being up all night or because he was angry that you were clearly yelling at him for no reason he didint tell you that instead he yelled "You're being so fucking paranoid."

"Dont just brush me off-" but Hawk cut you off this time

"If I wanted to fuck someone else trust me kid I would, and I can cause if you hadn't noticed im pretty popular."

"You're such an asshole!"

"And your crazy!"

"Then why do you even bother Keigo! Just go!" You said throwing a pillow from your bed at him

"You're right I should! Cause its fucking pointless when your-you're acting like such a bitch." He said catching it and throwing it on the floor

His words hurt and you knew you had been pushing him to yell but still not wanting to let go you yelled with hot tears in your eyes, "I hate you!"

You both seemed to freeze once those words were spoken

You wanted to immediately take it back

You wanted to tell him that you didnt hate him that you loved him so much that it hurt

That all you really wanted tonight was to spend it in his arms

But you couldn't swallow your pride

Instead you turned away from him

Keigo knew things had already gone too far when he chased after you yelling

He felt guilty about his words

He didnt mean anything he had said, ...you kno- I- Im sorry y/n." He tried to reach out to you but you pulled away from him

"I cant do this anymore Keigo..."

Panic was clear on his face once you spoke those words

Couldnt do what?

Him? You two have aruged before you can get over it, "Y/n-"

"Ill sleep on the couch tonight." You said leaving the room and keigo

Who could only sit and wonder what would become of your relationship in the morning

Y'all bet ur sweet asses there'll be a part 2

[stylesberries]

Vegan Cupcakes

Summary: You and Harry have been quarantined together and he needs space.

Genre(s): angst (happy ending)

Word Count: 3.2k

Warning(s): angsty stuff, ~foul language~

You and Harry have been quarantined together for several months now and, despite the difficulty and the severity of the situation, you as a couple are having the time of your lives.

Harry was definitely disappointed and upset about not being able to go touring with Fine Line, but the second he heard the news he thought of you.

He has been donating a lot of money and supplies for those in need of it or unemployed while you took your university classes online.

Spending most of the spring together didn’t feel as suffocating for Harry as summer did. Your classes were over and you didn’t take a summer semester, so your time fully revolved around him. Which he liked.

In the beginning.

Until you clung on him like a koala for days and made him cuddle you all the time, which he enjoyed a lot until it became a routine. Harry couldn’t even tell you how he felt because it would hurt your feelings, so he didn’t say anything at all, keeping it all to himself.

“Baby?” You call for him from the kitchen.

Harry rolls his eyes as you, once again, interrupted his flow of thoughts. He gets up from the couch he was laying on peacefully before and walks towards the kitchen, where you are standing holding up a paper so big it covers your whole face.

“Yes?” Harry asks, trying his best not to come out too rough. You placed the paper on the kitchen island in front of you to look up at Harry. You didn’t pay close attention to his annoyance; you were too busy brainstorming what proportion of flour to sugar to take for your vegan cupcakes.

“Harry, do you think I should take 1:2? Like twice as much flour? Or do you want the cupcakes to be sweeter?” Harry watched you ramble, crossing his arms, feeling ~this~ close to bursting. “Or do you think the cupcakes shouldn’t be that sweet because they’ll have sweet icing on top?” You ket throwing question after question at your fuming boyfriend, still oblivious of his irritation.

“Or maybe we should make them both mildly sweet?” Shut up.

“They will be chocolate anyway, right?” Shut up.

“Would you prefer dark chocola-”

“Y/N, shut up already! Can you stop fucking rambling? My head is going to explode from your talking.” Harry explodes, not letting you finish your question, the excited smile leaving your face.

You felt your head being squeezed from sides, pressure increasing at your temples.

“What?” You ask, hoping that you misheard him, knowing deep down that you didn’t because the Harry you knew and loved would never say such a hurtful thing.

“I said shut up. My brain is buzzing from your talking. Do whatever you fucking want.” Harry said and walked out of the kitchen before you could say something to him.

Thinking that he probably isn’t in a good mood and certainly needs space from your rambling you stay back in the kitchen and go back to your recipe with a broken heart and wet eyes. Your hands shake as you brought the paper back up to your face, failing to read any of the words and measurements through a layer of tears that were collected in your eyes.

Even when you were fighting he had never said anything so mean to you before, especially after he found out that your whole life people have been discouraging you from talking, so you closed off and spoke up only when you were directly called out for not saying anything. It took Harry a couple of months to finally get you to open up to him and talk to him without feeling guilty for it. He used to love it when you rambled on and on about things you’re passionate about. At least that’s what you thought.

You spend the next hour making the batter for your cupcakes and baking them, which only took about fifteen minutes. You felt encouraged to go up to Harry when you smelled the chocolate cupcakes fresh out of the oven.

“I’ll put a couple on a plate.” You spoke to yourself placing the freshly baked cupcakes on Harry’s favorite flower plate. “Just like that.”

Talking to yourself was a way you brushed your nervousness and anxiety away. Harry would catch you talking to your reflection millions of times, just standing and secretly watching you sometimes with a wide smile plastered on his face.

You placed the plate on the tray you brought from your trip to Italy and poured Harry some black coffee, placing it next to the warm plate. You picked the tray up and walked out of the kitchen, making sure to watch your elbows at the doorway.

Making your way towards the living room, where you expected Harry to be, you spotted no grumpy boyfriends there.

“He’s probably in the studio.” You spoke to yourself, refusing to let Harry’s bad mood discourage you.

Harry would rarely hide from you in the studio when you’re fighting, usually he would face you and solve the issue before it grows and hurts you even more, so it was unusual for him to run off there.

You brushed the thought off and watched towards the studio door. As you walked closer you could hear Harry talking to someone, but knowing that there is no one home except you two, you understood that he’s talking on the phone with someone. You stood at the door, turning to the side to place the tray on the floor, freeing your hands to turn back to the door and knock, as you didn’t want to interrupt any important calls or interviews that Harry could have with your talking.

Before your knuckles hit the door, you heard Harry’s voice.

“Man, I mean she’s always next to me. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wait for her to go back to uni for me to get some air.” Harry whines. Your heart stops before going back to beating at a higher rate, full of anxiety.

“Yeah, right! It just feels as if she’s been dreaming of being touchy-feely with someone and now that I’m finally home she can’t get herself off of me.” Harry kept stabbing your heart and laughed at something the person on the phone said.

With every word, you felt more and more empty. You started walking away from the door, bending over to take the tray with yourself not to leave any traces behind.

How could he say something like that?

I thought he loved me.

You didn’t know what you were doing. Your legs moved on their own and you just followed along, tears leaking from your eyes’ inner corners, tracing a way down to your chin. The salty trail wasn’t getting a chance to dry as new tears followed the same path as the ones before did.

When your body reached the kitchen your shaking hands placed the tray on the counter, Harry’s coffee slightly spilling on the tray.

Pain.

Never before have you thought than sadness could physically hurt so much; it hurt like a bitch.

You placed the tray on the table for Harry to find later and walked out of the kitchen to go back to your bedroom to cry in your pillow while he keeps complaining about you to his friend.

Harry came to bed in a couple of hours closer to the evening after looking for you all over the house to apologize for his rough words. When he saw you laying on your side of the bed, your knees pushed up to your chest, the duvet hardly doing its job keeping you covered and warm, he felt guilt running through his veins.

Walking up to his side, pressing a knee on the mattress first, Harry scooted over to you and pulled the duvet to cover you up. He let his arm stay on the duvet wrapping around your fragile form. He moved his upper body closer to yours, his chest pressing against your duvet-covered back.

“Baby?” Harry spoke softly, cautious not to wake you up. When no answer followed he frowned and positioned his face into the crook of your neck, pressing kisses on your neck.

“I’m sorry about earlier, baby. I was very mean to you.” He spoke against your soft skin. “I shouldn’t have exploded like that. It wasn’t fair to you.”

Harry’s apologies kept following one after another and you stayed silent, keeping your act on. You would’ve believed every word of his if only you haven’t heard him say the things he said about you to someone else.

You kept your eyes closed. Harry’s apologies subsided as he slowly fell asleep cuddled into your back. You stayed up that night, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. You wished for the pain inside to leave with your tears but it stayed, eating you from inside, until sunrise when you fell asleep from the emotional exhaustion.

When you woke up, Harry was no longer lying next to you and you were thankful for it. You really hoped that he wouldn’t bring yesterday up, even though you knew he would because he never got to apologize to you awake.

Your stomach growled and you remember that you never got to have dinner the day before, falling asleep drowning in your own sadness.

You quickly got up to sneakily walk down to the kitchen, but you were disappointed to have smelled Harry’s signature chocolate waffles in the air. With your shoulders slumped in defeat you walked down the stairs towards your kitchen.

As you walked through the doorway of the kitchen you saw Harry placing the brown waffles onto serving plates and adding sliced strawberries on top. You stopped your heart from fluttering because you, unfortunately, knew more than you’d prefer to know about how your boyfriend actually feels about you.

Harry felt someone’s eyes on him and turned around to be greeted by your indifferent self. He felt his heart sink as he read the hurt from the day before engraved on the surface of your face. Harry kept fidgeting about the table trying to let you pass to sit in your place next to him and placed the plate of waffles in front of you.

“I made you your favorite, baby.” He spoke unsure of how you would react to any words that left his mouth.

You fought the desire to bite into the warm chocolate waffles that your belly was craving after crying all night long and being left hungry for so many hours and walked up to the counter to get yourself a couple of your ill-fated cupcakes.

You couldn’t see Harry’s head lowering as you dashed his hopes to make it better. Little did Harry know you weren’t upset about his outburst about the cupcakes yesterday, so a couple of waffles won’t help to glue together the ruins of your heart that he shattered.

As you bit into the cupcakes, you stood at the counter facing away from the table, Harry took no bites of his breakfast, staring at your back helplessly. Suddenly he felt small and didn’t know what to do.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, Y/N. I acted like a piece of shit. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” His lips moved as his eyes watched your back for any reaction coming from you, his voice coming out soft and weak.

You stood there, your eyes glossy and your lips curving down in a frown, as you fought back the tears. Harry doesn’t have a single idea of how much pain he’s caused you and how none of these stupid apologies will ever fix the cracks that he left in your heart. You looked over your shoulder at Harry’s similar-to-yours state and hesitated whether or not to open up to him. Harry looked into your eyes with his and held a breath, hoping that you would figure things out. Your eyes broke the eye contact by looking down and speaking up.

“It’s okay.” You spoke and abandoned your plate, walking out of the kitchen, Harry’s eyes observing your every movement.

For the next couple of days, you stayed away from Harry and things were pretty cold between you. Harry would come up to you every day trying to apologize but you wouldn’t let him finish any of those times, leaving the room right away. Hurt was eating you from inside and you didn’t care what he had to say. Harry chose to sleep in the guest bedroom not to make you uncomfortable and you thanked him for it.

As time went by, you cooled down and felt better yourself. Harry gave you all the space you needed and it helped your healing process. You still hurt but you could talk to him now at least. Things went back to normal in most ways except one: you would stop yourself from expressing any kind of affection to Harry and he wouldn’t say anything but it drove him insane. He didn’t know why you wouldn’t kiss or snuggle him like you used to. You also started talking less because of your fight and Harry noticed every single change in your behavior and beat himself up for it.

“Y/N.” Harry walked into the bedroom with an i-can’t-do-this-anymore face on. Your eyes had to abandon the indulging book you were reading as Harry closed the door behind him, which meant he was determined to finally face the difficulty of the situation. Noticing the mood in the room change to a serious one, you placed the book on the bedside table and crossed your legs under the duvet, focusing all of your attention on your restless boyfriend with arms crossed.

“Mhm?” You ask, waiting for him to spit out whatever he’s been putting aside for almost two weeks.

“I’m sorry for that fight, okay? I really am, sweetheart. You haven’t been the same since then and it scares me. I didn’t mean to go off at you like that. You didn’t deserve it at all. I was exhausted and felt shitty myself and took it out on you. It’s not an excuse to yell at you and be so mean, I understand and I’m sorry, beautiful. It was a mistake and it won’t happen again, I promise. Please forgive me, Y/N.” Harry spoke so desperately, his emotions all over the place. He started gesticulating, which you knew meant that he was anxious and frustrated.

“I’m not mad at that, Harry. I forgave you.” You spoke the truth; Harry looked at you with even more frustration behind his now-glossy eyes.

“But you don’t even touch me anymore! You don’t kiss me! You don’t even want to be near-” Harry lets all of his insecurities out, oblivious to the flow of your own that you prepare to pour on him. You couldn’t sit there and listen to him accuse you of being neglectful towards him so you broke in to speak yourself.

“You don’t want me to be around you anymore! You said that yourself! You-you said-” Your voice cracks as tears build up in the corners of your eyes. It became hard to talk. “-said I’m always next to you and you need some space from me always being there.”

The tears that were collecting in your eyes were streaming down your cheeks, Harry’s glance reflecting off of them. Harry couldn't understand what you were referring to but kept listening to you.

“And you didn’t even have the guts to tell me yourself. You whined about how annoying I am to your friend, embarrassing me. It’s supposed to be something kept between us two, not discussed with your friends.” Every word stabbed his heart in same places as it did yours.

Harry’s mind went straight to the call you were talking about. He felt his intestines turn into a knot inside of him, causing him to feel nauseous. He felt like an asshole. It was fair because he was one indeed.

I hurt her.

You don’t want to be around me anymore.

Does she really think that?

You need space from me.

My baby. My angel.

What a fucking piece of shit am I to hurt my precious love like this.

You saw right through Harry’s sudden self-hatred despite the two layers of salty tears between your eyes and his.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry’s apologies filled the room, as pain continued to fill his soul.

“I hurt you. I’m so fucking sorry. It was so wrong to share something so personal with anyone except you. I didn’t even know what I was saying. I can’t live without you.” Harry’s cries became louder and louder as his regret first doubled and then tripled in size. “Your hands, your lips, your beautiful eyes - I can’t live without those things on me constantly. I was such a fool to think that I needed space from you. You’re the love of my life! I love you so fucking much. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I-” Harry's voice was cut by him having to take deep breaths to keep himself together. He placed a hand over his chest breathing in deeply.

You ripped the blanket off of yourself watching Harry closely, getting ready to sprint to his inhaler in case he needs it. Harry saw your reaction to his heavy breathing and rose his hand to gesture that he’s okay. You let out a relieved sign and scooted closer to the end of the bed where Harry stood. When he caught up with his breathing he looked down at you, moving to get on his knees in front of the bed. Harry’s hands flew up to cup your cheeks softly, giving you time to stop him if you wanted to.

“I love you so much, baby. I can’t express how sorry I am to hurt you so much. I don’t need any space from you. I can’t function properly without you on me all the time, without you wrapped in my arms.” Harry spoke and tears kept running down his face. You watched his eyes jump from one side of your face to the other, trying to absorb every single line and curve of your face.

“Fuck, I’ve missed looking at you so fucking much,” Harry speaks up, his face frowning as new tears start flowing out of his eyes. The frown on Harry’s face became more prominent as he understood the severity of the pain he had caused you.

”It’s all my fault.” Harry cries, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, your arms wrapping around him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

Harry kept apologizing the whole night and many days after, not letting you walk further than an arm length away from him. It took him a lot of effort to kick the insecurities that he birthed out of your head, but he kept proving himself to you over and over again.

He is an arrogant son of a bitch, but nonetheless he loves you more than himself.

© all right belong to stylesberries. do not repost or modify.

[elysianslove]

cheering you up ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; different ways the haikyuu boys care for you and cheer you up when you’re sad

pairings; karasuno x reader, nekoma x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, shiratorizawa x reader, inarizaki x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; none probably a bunch of mistakes lmfao

note; i had to repost this like 3 times rip. anyways, im sorry for not adding inarizaki on my last one jbshds but they’re here now!!

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; i definitely think he's so in tune with you, and your emotions. he learns your cues very well, and knows every little thing about you that there is to learn. if you're having a bad day, he'll notice right away. he won't comment on it though. all he'll do is these little things to try to cheer you up, but it's going to be very subtle. he'll let u rest ur head on his shoulder, run his fingers through ur hair. he'll sneakily buy u ur favorite snack. doesn't bring anything up until you do. ends the day with cuddles and a chick flick.

sawamura daichi; he notices but he doesn't really know how to react. not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he doesn't want to trigger you or deepen your sadness in any way. he's very careful with you. if it's something throughout the day, he's very quiet and tender with you, just silently lets you rest your head against his chest and rubs your back/arm tenderly. as you're walking home he asks if you want to talk about it, and reminds you that it's good to, but it's also okay if you don't want to.

nishinoya yuu; not a single sad moment with mr noya here. seriously you cannot breathe. ok but in all honesty, when you're sad. he's sad. sends you memes, and you'll be laughing at them with tears streaming down your face because you don't really know what you're feeling anymore. he does a lot of tiktok trends with you, any of the couple ones. grabs your faces and ,,, smooch all over. until you have no choice but to laugh. if you want to cry even more, he'll watch the notebook and the vow a thousand times over, and be a sobbing mess next to you. just don't tell the guys okay? <3

kageyama tobio; he's so.   bad. at this please help him. like he can tell ur sad, bc he's v good at reading people. but like. what the fuck is he supposed to do. anyways. when u two get to be alone and he kinda notices how quiet you are, he just nudges you slightly, and pulls you to him. it's easier to talk to you, he's calmer, when he can't directly look at you. when he feels you start to shake in his arms, feels the wet tears down your cheeks as you start to sob in his arms, his heart kinda breaks. all he can do is hold you, but it's what you need. and he'll listen too, if that's what you need as well.

tsukishima kei; i think he notices, but doesn't bring it up at all. the way he goes about it is he'll tease you to try and bring a smile on your face. because this is tsukki, and you know him well enough, you know the truth behind his jabs, enough to appreciate them. if it doesn't work, he'll just start to make fun of people in front of you, pointing random people out with you and just being like "wanna bet on what's making their relationship fall apart" this sadist i stg. like suga, he subtly makes you feel better until you yourself approach him about whatever's upsetting. actually gives 10/10 advice bc he's v honest.

asahi azumane; he's so empathetic oh my god bruh. notices immediately. "baby what's got u so upset" w a big pout on his face and when u just mumble "nothin" so low he barely catches it and instead throw yourself into his arms, he gives you a big, certified asahi bear hug. doesn't leave your side at all. constantly mutters sweet nothings and encouragements. if you do the bare minimum like make it through class he'll meet you after and be all "im so proud of my pretty baby". cuddles all day. all night. he's not very good at advice but he is the best listener !!! so attentive and you'll feel a huge weight lifted.

tanaka ryunosuke; "aight who do i need to jump" type beat. u love him so much though. that one sentence and sentiment already has you feeling better. immediately hugs you so tight, borderline suffocating you. "wanna ditch school". 100% willing to do so. he doesn't really know whether to approach it with distracting you or facing the obstacle head-on, but he finds a middle ground. eats your feelings out with you. saeko pulls out the embarrassing ryu pictures and suddenly you don't know why you were ever sad.

hinata shoyo; is really oblivious for a bit tbh. when he first meets you at the start of the day and his hyperactive self is greeted by your duller, sadder self, he doesn't think much of it. it's when you don't react to him or interact with him the way you usually would that he starts to notice you being off. he's actually super straightforward about it, and approaches you with some of your favorite snack that he bribed ukai to give him for free and just "wanna tell me whats up, baby?" he's so, so easy to talk to. immediately you're venting. and he listens to intently, gives stupidly good advice. it's like such simple approaches to your problem but?? it works. anyways you love him.

yamaguchi tadashi; will be super worried about what he could do to make it better, and kinda just tries to feed you as much positive energy as he can. once he's comfortable with people, he becomes really chatty, so i see him talking your ear off with the biggest smile on his face that you have no choice but to kind of ? mimic it? he just radiates goodness and sweetness that it shifts your own energy. he on some witchcraft shit on god. anyways when he walks you home or something, he'll just stop for a min and avoid your eyes when he says "ik u dont feel the best, but i dont want you to have to hide that from me, okay?" stan tadashi <3

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; drops everything. i mean it. i genuinely think kuroo would be such a good boyfriend that he'll sense it and text u as ur getting ready for school and be like "are u sad i feel like ur sad". you dont really wanna worry him and you'll just reassure him ur fine but he's already at your front door in — not his school uniform. insists the two of you take the day off saying "its fine babe im super smart". you two will spend the whole day just simply existing, talking when needed, he listens to you if you vent, and tries to come up with as many options of solutions for you so you don't feel weighed down. he'll make sure you eat even if you don't have an appetite, and will try to make u do something productive bc in a lotta cases, it could help you feel a lil better yk :)

kozume kenma; i pretend i do not see it — kozume kenma (2020). jbwjwks im jk. he's like tsukki in the sense that he will never address it, and he doesn't outwardly approach you about it. if it's just an off day for you, and you also happen to not have school, you'll go over to his house, hoping to feel a little bit better when you see him. "can i have a kiss, sunshine" to which he responds "why." you just go "im sad" and he gives u a big smooch. he'll have you lay on his lap while he plays his games, occasionally just sneaking in a peak at you to make sure you're okay. he'll ask if you wanna play to get your mind off things for a while. eventually, when things wind down a bit, he'll just mutter "yk i love you, yeah?" and that lights up your world hehe

haiba lev; as soon as he notices you're sad he just ☹️. he picks out a small flower and as soon as he sees you, he just tucks it by your ear, and smile so brightly and youll just be like "oh my god lev please stop being so cute". he won't really know what to do tbh, but the way he's so lost makes it so heartwarming and it honestly cheers you up all on its own. he just. "would a kiss make it better" and if you nod he'll just start kissing all over your face so softly, until he finally kisses your lips. when he pulls away he asks "again?" with a cute smile and if you nod he'll just kiss you over and over again. very simple way of cheering you up, and very foolproof tbh.

yaku morisuke; i think throughout the day, he might pester you a little bit about telling him what was wrong, but after you keep insisting you're fine, he relents, and decides that maybe giving you your own time and space to open up to him is better. he tries not to act differently in that sense, but he finds himself being a little more soft spoken, and gentler with you. i just had this image flash in my brain of you resting your head on a desk, head turned to the right, and then yaku comes and sits to your right, putting his head on the desk and facing you. and just. "hi :)" your heart melts. he kisses your forehead softly and tells you you're wonderful, in case you've forgotten. if, or when, you do open up to him, he'll be very eager to listen, and ready to fight off whoever upset you.

yamamoto taketora; this man is angry. like properly. "who the FUCK put a frown on my baby's face. speak the fuck up. i won't hurt you. ill just mutilate you." if you tell him that it's no one, and that you're just upset, he'll be so confused but he'll just nod and be like "okay. okay. do you want a hug?" and he'll hug you so tight. he'll admit that he doesn't like seeing you like this, and that he'll do anything to make it better. at first he's very cautious, but then he just lightbulb moment and as soon as you get home he'll be like "karaoke night babyyyyy" and then. no more sad.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; very. perceptive. he greets you normally, even if he notices something's off, because he won't want to worsen anything. you meet him right before he has practice after school, and he'll just cup your face, lifting them to brush at your hair, and you just sigh. "my baby's had a long day, yeah?" he'll be very gentle and careful with you, i'm sure. he gives you a kiss, smiling softly into it, and reassuring you that you're much too strong to let a single bad day destroy you like this. he meets you later that night with a lotta ice cream and you two just binge watch any reality show you could find, shit talking the actors together. he himself is terrible at talking about his feelings this dumbass >:( so he understands if you don't want to yk? will encourage u to vent it out though. expect terrible, makes no sense advice

iwaizumi hajime; he kinda like. gets mad? when you continue to be upset and not speak about it? he's not mad at you! he's just. mad. this is iwa okay. anyways. he won't bring it up mostly, only being slightly more affectionate, especially in his hand holding, which is super gentle already as it is. when he invites you over, that's when he actually starts to talk to you about it. he lets you know that there's nothing worse than seeing you like this and not knowing what to do, and that he wants you to be able to talk to him. about anything. even if you think it's stupid. he'll listen, and tell you that it's not stupid if it's making you upset. he cooks for you <33333 then bakes with you <33333 you feel a lot lighter at the end of the night tbh

hanamaki takahiro; (he's so annoying i love him). as soon as he sees you upset he makes it his mission throughout the day to cheer you up in any possible way. spams your phone while you're class with ten thousand wholesome memes. sends you pick up lines. when he meets you in between classes he just yells out "how's my favorite person in the entire world!" and kisses you so wholly in the middle of the school hallway lmfao. while he's walking you home, takes a longer route and purposely, he passes by your favorite store/bakery/ice cream parlor. buys u ur favorite, and pretends to be shocked when you give him a piece. late at night, he'll facetime you, wondering how you're feeling, asking if you needed to talk about it. whether you do or you don't, you two will fall asleep facetiming.

matsukawa issei; the minute he sees you he's like "whats wrong". no hi or anything. he has like this frown on his face, which seems off bc it's rare to see a frown on issei's face, and he just tucks your chin in his palm gently and stares at your pout. "you good, baby?" he can tell you're not, but he wants you to be able to tell him on your own. sticks by your side the entire day, and nobody really mentions it. he talks to you as if it were a normal day, but his voice has a softer edge. he's not distracting you, per se. he's more, talking to fill the space while giving you your own space to think. once you're alone, he'll just drag you to the nearest comfy surface, flop down, and pull you on top of him. if you even try to resist or ask whats going on he'll just "nap and cuddles first." and when u sleep a lil bit of ur sadness away, he'll just let you talk it out as he continues to hold you <333

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; just as empathetic as asahi, if not more. he really does feel it all with you. yk sympathy pains that partners get when women get contractions? bokuto is that partner. with bokuto, i feel like he'd never make you feel like you couldn't just straight up text him "im sad" and feel bad about it. if you ever do that, he'll immediately call, not even bothering with a text. if he can't come over, he stays with you until you've cried your heart out and then laughing until you can't breathe. if he can go over, he smothers you with love. repeatedly says "you know i love you, yeah? you know how grateful i am for you?" and in between kisses "im so lucky. so, so lucky."

akaashi keiji; i feel like as soon as akaashi notices you're down, or you're slightly off, he just grabs your hand and squeezes, forcing you to stop spacing out and focus on him for a second. if you're with a lot of people around you, he'll lean close to you and ask if you wanna go home. he'll be so soft and gentle and understanding, making up some excuse on the spot on why the two of you have to leave. if you're alone, he'll grab your hand and kind of tug you towards him, silently asking you to come into his arms, where you yourself know you feel safest. as soon as you're in the comfort of your home together, he'll like run you a bath and slip into it with you, just holding you until the water grows cold and the droplets on your skin are from your own tears. he'll wait it out, just holding you as reassurance, then make sure nothing's stopping you from spilling everything to him.

konoha akinori; when he first notices, he kinda deflates. like. who would wanna see their s/o like that? his smile is gentler when he greets you, and he's so soft with you. he grabs a pen and lifts your palm up, quickly scribbling down in his unique handwriting "i love you :) <3" on your skin, whispering for you not to wash it off until the end of the day. it is weirdly motivating tbh. as soon as the two of you are alone, he says it to you, face to face, an expected look on his face as if to ask "you know that, yeah?". puts on a movie to tune out the rest of the world, and holds you close to him as it drags on. he'll give advice if you're asking for it, but he's a better listener than anything else.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; does not notice. in all honesty, he expects you to approach him whenever you have an issue or if you're upset. he's kinda like ? so confused when you're so down and really unresponsive, until he starts to notice how touchy you are. like you're leaning more into his touch, holding onto his hand like it's your lifeline, stealing his vbc jacket because it smells like him. is very straightforward, and will just ask you if you're okay as he walks/drives you home. kinda just stops in front of your house and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulling you into a hug. "please don't be upset." he won't tell you that it kills him, but you can sense the unsaid words. he urges you to keep his jacket when he notices how safe it makes you feel. greets you the next morning with a new cactus in a pot hehe.

semi eita; is very cuddly once he notices. you'll sit at a table in school and he'll be sitting next to you, but he just pulls you into him and lets you rest your head on his chest, mumbling softly into your hair "i know you're sad and it's okay." he doesn't say anything else, just holds you there with a few kisses in between until he has to let go. late at night, if your thoughts are still keeping you up, he'll be up too, worrying, and will text you at 3 am if u wanna sneak out to meet him. takes you to the park and lays on the grass with you, picking out stars and constellations in the sky, with a soft soundtrack playing from his phone next to the two of you. he makes you feel secure enough to be sad even if you have all the blessings in the world, and makes sure you know that he'll always be there for you, even at 3 in the morning.

satori tendō; cheers you up by making you forget literally everything. replaces the sadness in your brain with just pure serotonin in any way he can think of. he'll take you to an amusement park, get ice cream with you, take you to the carnival in town, to the park, to the beach, to the pool, take you up to his house's rooftop. literally anything. and then he'll say something like "life's too short to spend it being sad over anything, darling." he's so understanding, and if you're frustrated or something he'll tell you to let it out by like wrestling him or some shit. exhausts you so much and you're filled to the brim with dopamine. he makes sure you're always happy, never seeing a dull moment in your relationship with him.

goshiki tsutomu; freaks out. plain and simple lmfao. but once he like grounds himself, he just softly comes up to you and asks you if you wanna talk about it, or if there's anything he can do. if yes, he'll break his leg running to go do it. if no, he'll just sit with you in silence, leaning over to hold your hand, talking to you about volleyball and his aspirations and how well he's improving. he's better at distracting you than helping you face your issues, mainly because he stresses out about giving the wrong advice or somehow making you sadder. he'll take a lot of pictures of you together on snapchat random filters to try and cheer you up, then later on in the night he'll send them to you and be like "look how cute we are ugh what a power couple" i love this dorkhabsjsks

shirabu kenjirō; i think he definitely notices, but keeps it to himself. he’d maybe think he’s imagining things and that you’re okay, so he’d go about his day normally. he doesn’t see you after school, and that’s when he puts two and two together and realizes yeah maybe you are sad. so he texts you, and texts you, and texts you, and gets no reply, so he just. comes over. unannounced. uninvited. just straight vibes. he’s already ordered your favorite take out, and already settling in bed with you under the cover with the lights dimmed and some chick flick playing in the background. gives the b e s t advice because he’s so blunt. like he will tell you if you’re overreacting, but you’re still his s/o, so he’d like wince as he says it. that’s all the sympathy you’re getting <3 but his bluntness will shock you into laughing hehe

inarizaki ━━

miya atsumu; usually, with atsumu, you’re always experiencing loud days. your relationship is all fun and flirty and suave and cool. but when he notices you’re sad, he goes quiet. like. eerily so. immediately pulls you aside somewhere private if you’re at a public place like school or something, and with his hands in yours he asks you if you’re okay. yk that thing where ur on the verge of tears and someone asks you if you’re okay and you just burst. yeah <3. his heart absolutely breaks and he just pulls you into a hug, resting your head on his chest and wrapping his arms around your neck. he just holds you there, even if you’re missing class/your friends are worried. he’ll stay with you until your tears have dried up, until you yourself let go.

miya osamu; i don’t see osamu as someone that loves pda. i feel like he’d be a more lowkey kinda guy. but if you’re sad, that gets thrown out the window. he doesn’t really in the moment, and won’t think too much when he pulls you close to his side and just wraps an arm around your waist/shoulder. yeah he’ll get looks but he can feel you trembling and shaking from holding back tears so yk, priorities. he’ll definitely stress eat with you. takes you literally anywhere and feeds you as you rant to him with tears streaming down your face and he’s just nodding sympathetically as he stuffs your mouth one bite after the other. romance is beautiful

suna rinatarō; when he notices you’re sad, his first response is alright what the fuck who messed up. he immediately blames someone else, and if he’s right, he’ll only get really agitated. just giving everyone the side eye from where you can’t see as he walks the two of you, your hand in his tight. if it’s not someone specific, he’ll just hum thoughtfully and then nod, before pulling you away somewhere private and just sitting you down and saying “talk.” very, very good listener. i can’t stress this enough. as you’re speaking he’s already thinking of a million different ways to help you solve your problem. walks with you as he traces your hands and just quietly tells you all the solutions.

aran ojiro; oh my god as a boyfriend he ticks all the boxes. he’s great at communicating, always satisfies your needs, is trustworthy and trusts you. the list goes on. immediately knows when you’re off/sad, and just smiles softly as he takes your hand, kissing your knuckles and saying, “let’s go home, yeah?” at home, he makes you some calming tea, probably pulls out some cookies or brownies or biscuits (that HE made but we’re not gonna get into that) and just listens as you talk, whether it’s about why you’re sad or just in general. gives you honest advice, but also a lil biased bc he loves you hehe <3