#so he grieves him
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“OC x Canon is fun, i can give my blorbo a happy ending” actually Akaan is only here to make Bardan’s life worse and make him deal with the worst breakup imaginable
#and also make him believe he died with order 66#so he grieves him#look hes just a silly little guy#he doesnt MEAN to hurt him#he’s just never heard of therapy#i need to post more about Akaan he has all my thoughts#star wars#republic commando#bardan jusik#oc x canon#jedi oc#oc: Akaan Parjai#the silly ever#pika rambles
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Big fan of when a character's grief/trauma/guilt manifests as physical symptoms. Big fan of characters keeping things so tight inside them that it makes them sick. Big fan of when the line blurs between a character's mental trauma and physical illness until it's hard to tell which is which anymore.
#whump#k once i did a fic where a character had pneumonia#and also was in Big Mental Distress and mentally going over all the people he'd lost in his life etc#and i gotta say i'm proud of myself for bringing up the recurrent motif of his chest being pianful...like is it from being sick & coughing#or bc he's grieving so badly it's putting him in physical pain#ANYWAY
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Carry me home
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#final fantasy 14#ff14#haurchefant greystone#haurchefant x wol#haurchewol#ffxiv wol#ffxiv spoilers#heavensward spoilers#final fantasy xiv spoilers#tinydraws#let me know if i’m missing any spoiler tags#tagging seems like it would be an easy and straightforward thing but also. i’m stupid.#anyway i choose to believe that Rowan carried him back to the manor#even if someone tells me otherwise i will not believe them#also i choose to believe that these two had it bad for each other#neither of them said anything but everyone could tell lol#haurche specifically was very Not Subtle in his displays of affection#and Rowan for the most part picked up on it#not everything cuz she's still in the midst of working on accepting any amount of companionship. but like. most.#and went ‘honestly.... if i told him i liked him it would probably go well. We just have so much stuff to deal with; now’s not a good time'#and then the time came and went :’)#and Rowan went ‘Did….. did he know? Did he Know how much I loved him? did he KNOW???????’#and then she grieved behind closed doors away from everyone#and also tried to replace said grief by focusing a lil too hard on her duties#idk i’m still working out WOL lore but this is what i got so far lol#or at least in regards to haurche
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believing that liam’s family should be allowed to grieve his loss and not supporting an abuser are two things that can coexist btw
#and believing that maya doesn’t deserve to be blamed for ANY of this.#and for those of us who grew up as fans and had our childhoods shaped by him. it’s okay to not know how to feel or to feel anything.#your feelings are so unbelievably valid. grieving a part of you doesn’t mean you support what he did#liam payne
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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something something future leo dies early and mikey takes on the role of cj's main mentor. something something mikey-centric movie. idk what his arc would be abt BUT I HAVE AN ITCH THAT NEEDS TO BE SCRATCHED
#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt bad future#casey junior#imagine leo sacrificing himself early into the invasion movie-style..... speedrunning his arc cuz the guilt is unbearable#also imagine.....#mikey and casey sr become badass best friends#and then mikey has to raise her son when she dies......#and its a whole thing where whenever he looks into cj's eyes he sees her and grieves and promises to protect him and teach him to survive#oh shit am i developing an au as we speak#DONT LET ME TURN THIS INTO ANOTHER AU I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DRAW ALREADY!!!#all of mikey's brothers die before him#and he's alone when he makes the portal#unlike at the end of the movie when they're all by his side#never fails to destroy me man
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when a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes
OR: what were we supposed to take away from episode 4 if not ‘bucky is a war widow’
#masters of the air#mota#motaedit#hbowaredit#bucky egan#john egan#clegan#like it's genuinely a 1:1 parallel and i'm NOT supposed to read bucky in ep4 as a grieving widow???#this kind of also turned into a rumination on how willfully optimistic bucky is that they'll both make it through the war#(he has no other choice. his heart couldn't take another—)#hence the titular smoke getting in his eyes. you understand#he's blinded by love and then by rage. and i adore him#this ended up being more of a video essay than an amv so i hope people enjoy it!!#i had a really good time making it and i'm really proud :')#particularly the sequence of him seeing the bomb in london -> seeing the bomb in germany -> the sunset in algiers#also clearly continuing my mission of making mota amvs to big band / jazz :)))#ANYWAY.#kbsd.amv#kbsd.hbow#40sjukebox
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sometimes i think about toriel in that first run when flowey finds her in the RUINs, having her dead son return to her for comfort, broken and helpless, and being unable to provide for him in the one impossible way he desperately needed, "fixing him" "making it okay" the way only his mom should've been able to do.
flowey kills himself after she fails. you ever think about that? cause i think about that. you're gonna tell me she didn't notice? that she was cheerfully oblivious as things failed to get better and he grew more desperate and more hurt and more hopeless, as she failed him like she once did and always will fail him? you're gonna tell me that didn't eat her alive? didn't keep her up at night? didn't break her back into all those tiny little shards of herself she'd glued back together and swept under the carpet by sheer force of will?
do you think she gets nightmares about it, still?
#i think she does. i know it does. give her nightmares that is. even across timelines#flowey is tremendously disillusioned about his parents by the time we meet him but he is CRUEL to toriel#he is the dull blade she twists inside herself every day but BOY does he love helping her twist it#it borders on sadistic it. it borders on revenge#they are both so alike and different that her method of grieving is illegible to him.#his mom tried to replace him. and when he came back she couldn't fix him. he needed her to fix him so bad and she failed#it just know it's something he tore into her about after he started killing. with asgore he could play it off as utilitarian.#emotional manipulation to try to force his hand and get to the SOULs#but not with her.#undertale#toriel#flowey
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16Oct24
He took the stage first, just a boy, Now the first one to leave, just a boy. Nothing’s right, hearts are torn, For Liam, we mourn — Knowing Payne means we got to know joy.
#rest in peace liam#liam payne#i'm just so profoundly sad#anne's post moved me from shock to sorrow#be kind to yourself#be kind to others#except simon cowell he can and will rot in hell#just ... fuck#grief is neither linear nor logical#we can love and mourn flawed people#we're grieving the loss of who he was and what he was to us#as well as the loss of his unrealized future#i hope he is at peace#i hope those he hurt can find peace#i hope those that hurt him are haunted by this the rest of their days
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bruce 'tired single dad' wayne: *lecturing jason once again on something he did during a fight*
jason 'theatre kid extraodinare'' todd who immediately starts fake crying on the spot: do you just not love me anymore?
#dc comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#red hood#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#bruce thomas wayne#jason todd#jason peter todd#jason was never the angry robin#yeah bruce is weak to his children crying but especially jason#if jason can puke on command you best believe he can convincingly fake cry too#what's the point of having trauma if you can't use it to stop your dad from lecturing you?#bruce folds on the spot when jason cries which is why jason doesn't cry that often (jason doesn't want his secret weapon to lose effect)#most of the time jason just owns up to the things he did#so there really isn't any point in lecturing him because jason doesn't care about consequences#the first time jason fake cried in front of bruce after his death he was shocked at how it still worked#the reason why it works so well is because bruce thought jason was dead for around four years and grieved him for so long
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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
#Better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.
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‘Death’
Angst idea. So something happens that causes Danny Fenton to be ‘fatally injured’. Like shot through the head, cut in half, spine ripped out, impaled kind of injured. Maybe attempting to save the day after being forced out of Phantom form. So as a Halfa, as long as his core remains undamaged, Danny can eventually heal from basically anything. (Yes it will hurt, but he’ll have Deadpool level of regeneration. Just a bit slower and more subtle.) So Danny won’t die. That’s how he’s survived his battles at Phantom (because some of those get violent. The problem? Danny Fenton’s ‘death’ was very public and he hasn’t told anyone he’s Phantom yet (besides Jazz, Tucker, and Sam.) He’s scared of revealing it to his parents because he still doesn’t know how they will react and worries it might even seem worse. Like that ‘Phantom’ was impersonating their dead son or something. So he has no choice but to let the world, his parents, his school, and his former bullies believe he’s dead.
#Danny Phantom#Danny Fenton#Kizzer55555 ideas#This could be DPxDC or stand alone#dpxdc#dcxdp#I was trying to think of an alternate way that Danny could no longer live with his parents that wasn’t bad fenton parents#nasty burger explosion. GIW. Or Vlad.#I thought of Danny possibiy dying and being a full ghost who had to live in the zone or something but I still wanted him to be a Halfa.#And I didn’t want him grieving his family but also not living there?#This whole thing was originally part of an idea where Danny ends up as Clockwork’s apprentice.#Either still going by Phantom or changing his name to Phantime.#And the original idea had Danny joining a dpxdc team as a sort of reserve member?#Like someone who they met but has to do all these tasks for Clockwork so he can’t stay for long and is always on the move#But they might establish some kind of communication to keep in touch? Or Danny just drops in every now and then to help with stuff.#Or just to say hi to his friends
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The wrong DNA test
( what if, Sheila wasn't really Jason's mother? The system is already corrupted, then what about the test?).
A huge brawl containing every rogue had started at the time of Halloween, causing the people from downtown to fled there home's as joker had clownized the whole neighborhood with his goon's.
Every bats had taken to groups to take out the three parts of Gotham's as the rogue's had started to make alliances, some had lasted quite long while had conflicts, and causing a big damage to Arkham asylum,
It didn't take long before they captured all of them, none of the bats questions as they observed Jason glowing green eyes starting to flick, they thought it was the pit again, growing wary of the cooperation, but Crime alley was involved and that mean business to Red hood's turf.
Catherine todd love her son as her own even if not biological, Jason knew that. But her thing with drugs couldn't make her stop.
Sometimes after that, they could hear Jason humming a tune,a nice melody from Damian's statement saying that Jason muttered to him “ lullaby” as Jason continued to read his book, maybe it could be from Catherine,
they knew how Jason's past with Catherine todd, his mom even if not related, Catherine loves her son like her own kid but her doing drugs and... overdosing couldn't be stop.
Maybe Jason just remembered his mother maybe reminiscing atleast something familiar...even if it was a bad time.
Jason had constantly have been hearing a woman's? Man's? Voice, singing him a lullaby...it soothing, like as if he known and loved this melody...and that's where the dreams kept coming, there was a person, giving him kisses, Talkin to him stories, singing him lullabies and soothing him, he could dream that he was actually a baby, a baby from a normal couple, well don't count the luxurious baby room.
Jason had took out a conspiracies why he was getting this dreams, ( he swears he's not becoming Tim) and voices, maybe like a misshapen memories from the pits of victims? No it's to peaceful for that, maybe magic? He already contacted Constantine but surely hang up after knowing who it was-
Just how is he getting this dreams? Unless it wasn't.... So he proved again his point, he started a DNA test, again but none had records...of Sheila being his biological mother...that was weird, last time he had a test was from the time as robin..and before his-
So he went to that hospital who had said where Sheila had given birth to him, and most of shock is that no one knows a mother giving birth named Sheila haywood but had a document of a baby, of one Jason jay nightingale, the most believing part was that it's the same day he was born in.
His mother, Daniel F. Nightingale was said to be trans as the doctor who help his mother safely delivered him, And saying that his mother loved him,
one Sheila Haywood had the constant trick to get him and taken him as his own, because his mother's family was a wealthy one they practically sold him to her.
Jason had thought that maybe his mother's family never wanted him to have a son with a man from Gotham's crime alley.
Meanwhile Danny had just been YEETED to the DC universe before the start of Batman's justice thing and had been adopted by a very wealthy fruit loops couple as there kid, so he stayed as the couples daughter even pretending, because he owed ghost writer a favor for the last time, and as DC universe exist so it's story, and one thing for sure the child he had to give birth in this universe has a very complicated fate,
he did the one night stand from his supposed friend Willis Todd? He had to befriend him as Dalia F. nightingale the supposed Wealthy daughter who fell in love with a peasant trope, and gotten pregnant making it a scandal, and reaching to his ‘parents’ circle and getting that drama.
But he never thought he would care for his child, his little jay, his ghost side would purr in delight when they held Jason, he was a very hard sucker especially from his pacifier or his breast, it's so weird being in a women body,
but the way his ‘parents’ sold his son to the women who was supposed to get his son killed and being revived by cheap parody ass of ectoplasm.
He went feral, he had an argument to his ‘parents’ but all fell deaf ears, he couldn't find his son in one of the hotels nearby where that BXtch was.
And that time was where his part of the script was fulfilled, ghost writer already took him, both sides of his, were angry.
He. will. get. his. baby. back.
#dcxdp#Danny phantom#dcxdp crossover#Mom!Danny#Batfam#Jason todd#portraits#When the bats find this they decided to help find Jason's Mom only to find out she went missing#his Jay Nightingale now#yes- im getting of topic#so lets just say that clockwork has also has some things involved with his#dcdp#batfam#and ghostwriter#so if this doesn't go to your timeline aus or smth or cannon idk what to say#when the bats found out about Jason's investigation to find his mother#they gladly help but after finding where jason's grandparents who sold him to Haywood#they meet with them#and the whole revealed was much more depressing because His mother died/missing/suicide#Ghost writer was the one who plan the...The death scene.#so jason is sad#and very much wants his momma#because thats how ghost parents shit is right?#yeah i dont think im educated enough#So the grandparents are like grieving for there son (yes they accepted his trans btw).#and let jason and the rest of the batfam in there manor/castle ( cause there seriously old money) and introduce jason to his mom's things#portraits of danny#telling stories of danny in his youth.#but they avoided the way he ‘died’ for ghost writers plot conveniences but they mention#green...like ectoplasm but they just called it green liquid.
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something i like to think about sometimes is that. man. you could really create some kind of perfect storm with the combo of tim's post-infinite crisis fear of losing kon again + kon's intense, but generally passive, suicidality. guy who was so convinced he had to die a hero that when it happened he didn't even seem bothered by it (because he can't be traumatized by his own death if it was what he was literally made for, right?) x guy who has developed a whole new type of mental illness out of the survivor's guilt 100x combo. put them both through the wringer at the same time with one easy trick (make tim think kon will try to sacrifice himself for something) (and kon very well might!)
#rimi talks#i started to write a minor tag essay but it was so incoherent. thank you migraine i have no thoughts.#but like something something ptsd that rubs up against each other wrong. and having to learn to live and grow around it#kon having the realization that his life is worth more than what he could die for - that he doesn't have to be so sacrificial#vs tim struggling with the terror of being left behind again. of having to grieve again. of how it ate him up inside and made him--#--stop caring if he himself lived or died because so many of his loved ones already were dead#it's just tasty. it's fun.#...........#.......... wait a minute.#...........................................................................................................................................#did i already write this fic.#i think i already wrote this fic. where kon tries to kill himself again for heroism.#oh my god i already wrote this fic. okay. im. um#okay post canceled im going to bed. bye#timkon#tim#kon
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Once again thinking about the fact that, per the Caleb Origins comic, Wulf is the reason Caleb spent 11 years in Vergesson. Just. What do you think haunts him more; killing his parents or the fact that in the span of a few seconds he damned one of his partners, someone who was engineered to be one of his closest bonds, to spend gods-know-how-long in one of the bleakest places in the Empire?
#we know from C2 that Wulf was at least occasionally stationed as a guard at Vergesson. more on the magical experiment part of it than the#‘hospital’ but still (and who knows if there’s really a distinction between the two when you get down to it)#and just. how many times over that decade was he there. wondering where Bren might be within its walls. did he know? or did he avoid knowing#so he wouldn’t be drawn to him? to the evidence of what protecting Astrid cost?#it’s sooooooo fucked and I love it. I need to write something about all of it eventually#Wulf grappling with what he did and Caleb discovering the truth of his ‘break’#critical role#eadwulf grieve#caleb widogast#bren aldric ermendrud
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chapter 90 vash
#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun maximum#trimax spoilers#trigun spoilers#i forget how the blacklist stuff works on tumblr again... uncertain whether it matters or not for it to be in the caption itself#anyway my mind was reflecting again on the later chapters of trigun :lying down: i'm not sure how to collect my thoughts#but i think all the time about vash's “if i shoot him now she'll die” line in ch 15#and considering vash haven't had long at all to grieve after ch 64... aughh... augh.... mourning both of them in ch 91#vash's emotional state after 64 is really so. It's devastating watching him bc he's still being all smiley around his friends and allies#but when he's alone - charging the bullets and during those first two battles - he's just so quiet#and all of that kept emotion just breaks like a dam in 90... all of that to say.. legato is really incredible dgmks#ruporas art
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