#so have some Thoughts

[setmeatopthepyre]

having thoughts about buck and tommy and the concept of receiving attention.

buck has spent so much of his life receiving too little attention, being starved of it. so much so that he learns, at a young age, that any attention is good attention. getting hurt means he gets attention. fucking up and getting yelled at is still attention. he's spent so long being a ghost in the lives of others that if someone ends up emotionally eviscerating him, at least that means they cared enough to put in the effort, at least they were there to see him fuck up if that's what he did. pain is attention.

maybe that's why he becomes such a social butterfly. he's not afraid of messing up, because if he pisses someone off at least that means they know he's there, that they see him, because that's something that's been missing, that he's been craving. a lot of the ways he screws up in relation to others are linked to the fact that he didn't think about the impact he had on other people before he acted. can you blame him, if he never really had an impact for most of his life? he had so little of an impact that daniel died anyway. there's a reason the only way to escape his coma dream is to realize the impact he's made on bobby's life -- by causing him grief, by pushing his buttons, by demanding attention. it's almost a test, in a way. if someone cares enough to be angry with him, to express that anger, that means they might even stick around.

tommy, on the other hand, has spent most of his life learning to avoid attracting attention, because attention is pain. to receive attention is to be seen, and to be seen is to be judged, and to be judged is to be found wanting again and again and again. if his dad is like gerrard, that means tommy was picked apart for the littlest things, for the tiniest transgressions, and judged in broad strokes for most of his life. at first, tommy tries to conform. if he has to receive attention, if he has to be seen, if he has to be judged, maybe he can change the outcome and not be found wanting. so he tries to become the man they demand him to be. attention from girls leads to uncomfortable questions? be the straight guy they want to see. if all else fails, redirect judgement, turn the spotlight onto someone else, blend in. avoid detection, avoid being seen. the professions he's had all involve a uniform so he doesn't stand out, doesn't demand attention. his casual wear is practical and unassuming, even now.

after gerrard leaves the 118, tommy slowly becomes familiar with attention that doesn't always hurt. so he leaves the 118 and reinvents himself. he trades avoiding attention for being in control of it. instead of completely avoiding judgement, he minimizes its impact.

he goes back to flying, where's he's up in the sky, where everyone can see him in action, but he's the one at the helm. he becomes bigger, stronger. he attracts more attention, but it's attention he chooses. he steps out of the closet, doesn't hide who he is, but if he flies under the radar, that's okay too. he practices muay thai. arms himself, physically, mentally, with a strong body and a sharp tongue, to make sure he can always take the hits that may come with the attention he gets.

he craves the family, the people on his side when things get bad, because it's such a dream to let anyone close enough to help him up when he gets hurt. to let anyone see him enough to know when he gets hurt. and he wants it, but that doesn't make it easy, because letting someone close enough to help also means letting them see your soft underbelly, to surrender yourself to their attention, to let them through your defenses. to give them the ability to make an impact on you, and trust them with it.

and buck, who is still learning that he even has an impact on other people's lives, asks him to move in, like a bull in a carefully curated china shop.

[tawnysoup]

Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3

If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[mochasucculent]

Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in

[chloesimaginationthings]

William Afton winning that “idgaf” award in FNAF

[wanologic]

and they were roommates

[demaparbat-hp]

Slow mornings in Ba Sing Se.

I needed something soft today, so here's a little sketch for @nerdylizj's breathtaking fic Forgetting is a kind of mercy.

[franeridart]

more dragon

[museaway]

✍️ more fic writer asks!

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[linktoo-doodles]

i'll strangle you or i'll kiss you on the mouth

[theartlockerlocked]

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

[egophiliac]

WAIT when did he get FANGS

[hinamie]

subject, specimen, spectacle;

should i say that you're dead?

[puppppppppy]

renaissance dogys

characters belong to @canisalbus

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Soup solves everything.