#so glad she's in another show tho i love her sm
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Beelieee š„ŗ and lokiĀ
"Congratulations, Lord of the Flies! Your son looks just like you-" Beelzebub:
How beel and percy be like fr:
Gonna be real with you, queen. I still stand with my concern for beel. His very actions are literally clashing with percyās fatal flaw and idk i feel like shes gonna resent him š and then bros gonna flip and idk burn down switzerland or smth. And that scene where he kinda basically admitted or showed that he would rather have percy miserable here in his universe than have her be with another manā¦I still find him mad attractive but it really does go to show that, at the end of the day, heās still a god. And gods are nothing but selfish. While he ālovesā her, his jealousy reigned more important to him smh
And yeah Lokiās bum ass got rejected womp womp.
Lmao but fr i kinda feel bad for the guy, like dude really was ready to sacrifice his life for her (which i find kind of sweet? Because its opposite to beelieās selfishness. loki was ready to risk his life for her in a momentās notice and it holds more weight for me cuz beelie is already suicidal in the first place, and lokiās whole deal is ltrly being selfish by being a little shit. So the fact that he resigned his selfishness for her to fight hades without the guarantee of an escapeā¦..bro was real romantical in that moment not gonna lie). Tho that wont stop me from making fun of him through memes tho lol
And finally, apollo will be soloing the next fanmemes because i love him sm
ABOUT THE BEEL THING LMAO YEAH HE IS EXTREMELY SELFISH. and it's not even just because he's a god but mostly because he's the devil. yes he can be very sweet and loving ofc, but at his core, he's still the devil. you know about the seven deadly sins and stuff (like wrath, pride, gluttony, greed, lust, sloth, and envy???) he very much embodies those cuz you know... devil lol. but yes, he is very much gonna be VERY screwed in the later acts when percy finds out all the sabotaging he's been doing to her behind her back.... beelcy shippers, i don't have ALL of it planned, but get ready for angst š¤Ŗ
and as for loki I'M GLAD YOU FOUND THAT ONE SCENE SWEET š but he's still a cringe loser and we should absolutely continue making fun of him as well as the other yans šš
NOW ONTO THE MEMES
the beelcy baby ššš this is so much funnier for me esp since i recently just found the perfect faceclaim for a beelcy baby LMAO š i can just imagine percy in the background frantically trying to stop her crazy ass husband š
AND LOKI WITH THE POKI BABY! he's either just floating and making it LOOK like he's stepping on the baby's shoulders, or he actually is stepping on the lil one's shoulders and they just got shoulders of steel (which still checks out cuz godly babies are still gods after all), but either way, percy's whipping out that slipper to beat his ass. for stepping on her son AND for trying to kill anthonius š
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XO KITTY S2 IS OUTā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø pls share your thoughts when u watch it šš» i NEED someone to talk about it
I JUST FINISHED THE SEASONNNN, XO KITTY S2 SPOILERS AHEAD
First off. family reunion was so cute iām so happy for them. Now second offā¦ā¦
YOO I FUCKINNG HATE STELLA. IVE HATED HER SINCE SHE ASKED KITTY TO HELP HER WITH MINHO BROOO I WAS RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING SHES SO WEIRDDDDD AND MENTALLY INSANE.
but jin and q were the cutest omfgg i acc lived for their scenes. also juliana and q forever being my fave duo theyāre so silly with each other
THEN THEN THE DRAMA???? THE SKI TRIP?????? PENIEL BEING MINHOS BROTHER??? Life was hectic. so much stuff happenedššš BUT MINHO AND KITTYāS SCENES WERE SOOO CUTE UGHH THE RAIN SCENE YOYOYOY THE DREAM???? HE LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD
Yeah i was drooling loooollā¦ā¦ā¦. BUT THEN KITTY AND YURI?????? I WAS BAFFLED THE WHOLE KISS CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD šš then juliana and yuri and kitty??????? Lord. im glad yuri and kitty made up in the end tho!!!!! if they didnāt yall wouldāve seen me on the newsā¤ļø (POOR YURI THO OMFFGG)
the moment i heard like me better playing i paused so fast CS THATS LJ AND PETERS SONGGGG SO IM LIKE YOOO HOLD ON IS HE COMING??? AND HE APPEAREDDD I WAS LIVID I LOVE HIM SM ššš him and kitty, their scenes were a nice break from all this drama BYEEE
dae and eunice theyāre so cute (just watched the scene where they lwk had a fight omg??? NOOOOOO) but poor daeās dad bro i felt so bad HES SO ADORABLEš
back to minho and kitty HE FELL FIRST SHE FELL HARDER???? OH MY GODDDDDDD IM TWEAKING OUTT SHE WANTS HIM SO BAD PLEASEEEE PLEASEEEEE flashback to when minho saw kitty at the party last year and her looking at him now???? yo ššššš but love q for setting them up like OOUUHUG YOOOO NOT STELLA SEEING THEM DANCING ESP AFTER KITTY SAYS I MISS YOU???? (yeahhh iām kms this scene is abt to wreck me sheās such a manipulative little SHIT BRO) AND KITTY SAYING THE SAME WORDS FROM MINHOS CONFESSION AT THE END OF EP 7?????? YOOOO THE WRITER KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOINGG SORRY I LOVE THIS SHIP SM
ps. alex (forever my love) and dae is acc so badā¦ā¦ā¦.. he and minho look so good this season like Hello??????? their beefing moment hurt me but iām so happy theyāre warming up again anddddd im going to binge minho edits and add them to my minho collectionā¦. Itās been dryā¦..
DAE PERFORMING SEVEN??? AND THEYRE OUT HERE DANCING W HIM??? ITS GIVING CAMP ROCK I CANTTTT (sad that he didnāt win thoā¦.) AND THE PROPOSAL AWWEEEE THATS SO CUTE im so glad the family is good again
WATCHING THE SCENE OF KITTY AND MINHO AFTER THE TALENT SHOW RNNN LIVE REACTIONN PLEASEE PLEASSEE oh. K. They didnāt kiss K. I see how it is.
Okayā¦ watching the last scene nowā¦.. live reaction. not the long walks in the sculpture garden BYEEE YOO HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN THIS RED OMFOFMFOKFGOKG hes so fine God. Uhhh stop whys he leaving WHYS HE LEAVING STFU STFU BUEE NOT BETTER OFF AS A PLAYBOYā¦ TELL HIM KITTY PLEASEEEE PLEASSEEEEEEE I DONT GOT THAT LONG. Yo. ISTFG IF THEY GIVE US ANOTHER SEASON PLEASEEE JUST YOOO I CANT DO THIS OH KY GODDDDD YOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOTHING???? NOTHING????????? Awww at least a hug. thatās cute ig MINHO NEEDS TO SAY SKEMTJING YOO YOOO YOO WHATS HAPPENEIGN WHATS HAPPENIGN YOYOYOYYOOYOY ARE THEY GNA KISS YOOO YOā¦.Uhhh guys he walked away? youāre seeing me on the news 7:13 pm jan 19th. WAIT WAIT SHE CALLED FOR HIMY O WAIT WIAITJTITITI OMGGOMFOFMG ASKING TO JOIN HE SAYSSSSSSSSSSSSZSZSS UESSS OKAYYY DEF A S3 DEFINITELYYYY OH MYOGDDD YEYSYAYSHSH
best believe iām going to work on something based off of this show guysā¦ā¦šššššššššššš
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leaving my thoughts/opinions abt wildflower in your inbox cause tumblr hasn't let me comment on anything. (i'm gonna talk as if reader is a another character lol)
ps this is no hate to your writing or anything. it's basically just me commenting on their actions as if it was a tv show or smth.
in my very personal non biased oscar opinion, the reader is exaggerating. oscar may have lied but he didn't manipulate her and it was very obvious to her that he was hurting. they slept together out of both their consent and reader is putting the entire blame on him as if she didn't play a heavy heavy part. especially considering that lily was the one who broke up w oscar, reader made it seem like it was all his fault. lily was partially controlling imo and she wouldn't openly communicate with oscar until something got a little out of hand. she literally accused him of cheating like???? "Or maybe you were so used to Oscarās lying and manipulation that you couldnāt imagine someone talking to you just for the sake of friendship." this pissed me off sm like why is reader so annoying (don't hate me lol) and then the whole her saying she wasn't good enough for oscar like yk damn well that's not what he meant lol. personally they both were in the wrong but the reader hates personal confrontation and put the ENTIRE thing on him like girl wtf.
anyways girl you ate so hard with this fic truly idk who to suport and be like omg you're so nice like every single person is sm in the wrong like help they need to really breathe and understand eachother but yeah i love this fic and your work and i love youuu. mwuah
I am so glad you sent this because I feel like you 100% got at what I was trying to do!
My whole goal with this fic was to create a story in which each character is simultaneously innocent and guilty. So yeah Oscar is not the best boyfriend to Lily but he doesnāt cheat and yes he does sort of use reader but also reader sort of uses him back. Lily is a horrible communicator but also has been third wheeled in her relationship for so long. Reader kind of has been the backup girl but she has also allowed it to happen and used Oscar in her own way.
I wanted to make this fic as realistic as possible in that wayājust showing the complicated messiness of these situations as they happen in real life, rather than just leaning into the āgood guy bad guyā trope by making Oscar/Lily awful while Lando/reader are perfect. I feel like thatās the undercurrent of the song Wildflower itself, too: the speaker/Billie is crushed by the weight of what sheās done but also grappling with asking what was so wrong about it in the first place.
Also youāre 100% right about the reader being another character. I used to do x OC fics when I was younger but people donāt like those as much as x readers, but itās nearly impossible for me to actually write a blank slate reader :/ so theyāre basically OCs with no name/face
Unfortunately, if youāre annoyed with reader, it may get worse before it gets better. Not to spoil anything but Lando is being a bit sus, and whoās the real manipulator here?
I want to put it out there too that Iām not offended at all if people donāt like one of my stories or characters and I welcome constructive criticism and feedback! Iāve been a writer for nearly 10 years now (thereās so much lore) so I have thick skin. Obviously be respectful (if you just send something that says āyour story sucks kysā I will just delete it) but I welcome all discussion and opinions on my work.
But anyway I am so glad that youāre liking it tho! I lowkey feel like the chapter is flopping but itās probably because I didnāt post at peak times (at least thatās what Iām telling myself so I donāt get sad lol) or itās just my insecurities being mean. I canāt wait to keep writing it!
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Iām so glad you include Pulcinella in your romantic (maybe romantic) headcanons š. Itās a nice change! Do you do suggestive stuff? If not itās totally fine! Can you do plus-sized S/O with the harbingers?
Fucking hell I had half of this done but it deleted all of it, kill me
Anyway thoā I donāt do suggestive stuff, sorry. And of course I canāt leave out my favorite gnome <3
Harbingers with a plus size s/oā
āāāā
Pierro:
More of you to love ayy
Literally
He will happily hold you
Makes it so clear he absolutely adores you
Loves your body so much, you have no idea
He gets very stressed, so he will let you lay on him like a weighted blanket
Give this touch starved old man some love raaahhh
Capitano:
LIFT
LIFTS YOU
Heās lowkey proud he can lift you no matter what
He isnāt prideful, but heās proud of you
Internally heās like āyes, this is my s/o, look at how gorgeous they areā
Externally heās like š
At least itās very clear to you how much he loves you gjekkgkekg
If youāre insecure, heāll just lift you up and compliment you sm
Loves your stretch marks, if you have them. He likes tracing them with his fingers.
Dottore:
He wonāt compliment you on your looks without being directly asked
Unless you show insecurity
If youāre insecure, heāll spit scientific facts about body weight and how healthiness looks different for everyone
Iām sorry heāll just start infodumping JFJGKKDKG
But hey, if youāre dating him, you probably donāt mind
He values intelligence more than looks, so as long as youāre smart and can hold a conversation, or at least are willing to learn, he loves you
Columbina:
Love love loves you
Sheās small, so she likes being held by you
Youāre like a big ol teddy bear
Another one that likes tracing stretch marks
Sheāll just try to touch and hold as much of you as she can
She will make you feel so loved, insecure or not
Youāve already made it this far with her, so she isnāt very reserved lmao
Nobody will ever dare to make a rude comment about you on her watch
Arlecchino:
She also will not compliment you directly
Unless youāre outwardly insecure
āDonāt be ridiculous, I wouldnāt be with you if I didnāt think you were just fine the way you are.ā
Kinda cold, but fiogkgkrkgkrkg she will soften over time
Her actions speak louder than her words tho
She loves holding you, and will make that very clear
Will find a way to hold you no matter what, unless itās in public
Pulcinella:
Tiny man
If you cuddle him, he is the happiest mf alive
PLEASE cuddle him
He get so stressed from work, so if you hug him, he just melts
He is a sappy bastard, so he will compare you to legendary gods/goddesses and figures from mythology
Literally just loves you so much
He LOVES how small he is compared to you
Heās like a teddy bear
Scaramouche:
āWhy should I care about what you look like?ā
He finds the concern a bit stupid, but mostly because he doesnāt understand why people would be rude about it
It doesnāt matter to him, why should it matter to mortals?
Still, he will make it clear that he loves you and your body
He loves your rolls and stretch marks if you have them
He thinks it looks like kintsukuroi, the process of repairing cracks in pottery and lacquerware with gold or silver
I couldnāt resist throwing in my pottery knowledge gjjejgjejg sorry
He doesnāt compliment you directly without making it seem like heās being harsh
But you get the idea
I love him sm
Sandrone:
She adores you
She likes playing dress up with you, and your body gives her opportunities to get creative
She does treat you like youāre one of her ādolls,ā but if you donāt mind, itās fine gjejgjekg
She thinks your rolls and stretch marks make you look like a mosaic
A beautiful, moving statue
She will lay on you while tinkering with small projects
Give her all the love, she needs it
Can and will brutally maim anyone whoās rude to you
Signora:
Ok so sheās SUPER tall
Which means she has longer arms
Which means she can hold you properly
She ADORES you
She will trace your body and compliment you all the time
āI love every single inch of you, dearā
She will destroy anyone who dares to make you feel insecure
Literally
Drop kicks them into the sun
She clings to you and does not let go. You managed to thaw her heart, and she will make it so clear that she cares so much
I MISS HERRRR
Pantalone:
He thinks youāre the most beautiful person to walk Teyvat
He will gift you with clothes perfectly sized for you
That accentuate your body to where it looks even more perfect than it was before
Another who will compare any stretch marks to kintsukuroi
He will do paperwork with you either laying on him, or him laying on you
He literally loves you so much dude
Smitten
Tartaglia:
BODY POSITIVITY!!!
Your body is a temple
And he will treat it as such
He will hold you and trace your skin and kiss you all over
āI canāt believe Iām lucky enough to have such a beautiful s/oā
You are the entire world to him
He will make you feel like the most special person on the planet
If anyone dares to make you feel insecure about your body, he will challenge them to a duel and NOT hold back (aka that mf is very injured after)
He is giggling and kicking his feet around you
Justā¦ hold him and he will be SO happy
Golden retriever man
#genshin impact#harbinger headcanons#Shenās headcanons#fatui harbingers#Fatui x reader#genshin x reader#Pierro#capitano#Dottore#columbina#Arlecchino#pulcinella#Scaramouche#Sandrone#Signora#Pantalone#Tartaglia
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Hey Poet! <3 First, thanks bunches for all that you do, your writing never fails to make me smile! If it's alright, may I please request Molly, Essek, Yasha and Caleb with a socially anxious F!teammate/friend or crush who's a half-dwarf? She usually passes for a short human, but her dwarven heritage shows in her body being hairier and a bit more thicc than the average human female, which makes her very self-conscious. Thank you and have a lovely day <3
Okay but first, you're adorable. And second, I never expected to have a request like this but I'm so so glad you sent it in. You're lovely, honey. Thank you x
~ Poet
Reassuring Fem!Reader about body hair
Caleb š
To be honest, as perceptive as he is, it's not something Caleb ever really regarded as something to be noted or commented on. Your hair is just another part of you, another piece of your body for him to admire - it's no different to how he loves your hands, your eyes, your smile... Cough not that he's ready to admit that he loves you yet tho cough
He's always looking out for you and can just sense when you're having a bad day. He gets them too. The perfect person to talk to about anxieties or insecurities with because he can share his own experiences with you. Together, you work to fight against the niggling voices in the back of your heads and grow stronger and accept this is who you are, and that's good.
He makes more of an effort to try convey how he feels for you. His pinky shyly links with your own and he mutters something about how nice you look today, how confidence suits you. You know he means it.
-
Molly š
Molly has never really been one to judge someone on their appearances, and you better believe he's not gonna start now. You are lovely. You are strong. You are healthy. You are so very normal (in a extraordinary way). You're hot, stop doubting yourself sm <3
King of reassurance and looking after you on days where you're less confident or more self conscious. Treats you like royalty, recommends and drags you to a spa day to treat yourself and ease your worries, make you feel pretty and comfortable in your skin.
Beauty standards and trends come and go. Your body, and the hair that comes with it, is yours for life. He wants you to learn to love it. If you let him, he sits you in front a mirror at a vanity and points out every single thing about your appearance that makes you special and beautiful and handsome. He kisses your cheek, and asks quietly for you to see yourself just as he does.
-
Yasha š
Yasha thinks you're the cutest thing. She's quite tall, and since you're smol in comparison, it's a huge win for her. Lifts you up like you weigh nothing, more than happy to hold you on her hip or on her shoulders. Likes how the sunshine catches on your hair and skin because you practically glow.
Is kinda hairy herself and stops shaving her arms when you confide in her. She never really had a preference to having or not having hair - it was more of a habit than anything else. She wants you to know that it's completely human to be as you are, and you don't have to change for anyone. Change because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.
She thinks that no one should feel like they have to conform to societal pressures and such. It can be hard, especially in the beginning, but she's with you every step of the way to give encouragement and reassurance when you need it. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes, and you're no exception (Ā°^Ā°)
-
Essek š
Also enjoys the height difference. He's not super tall himself, but the levitation helps give the illusion that he is. Presses sweet lil kisses to your forehead when you least expect it only to see you flustered and smiley.
Hot boi finds it hard to grow hair anywhere other than the top of his head, so he actually likes the contrast between you two š„ŗ You're soft and warm and he just holds you happily. There are qualities he seeks in potential partners, such as intelligence and emotional maturity and kindness. You have all of those. He likes the the shadows and the stubble and fuzz (no matter how thick) and everything that comes with you because it's you.
He also thinks it's nice that you physically show your dwarven heritage! He wants you to be happy and proud of your people, your background and where you've come from - it's just a reminder of how much he loves every single inch of you. Life is too short not to love your body, fluff and all xx
#critical role#critical role x reader#critical role fanfic#critical role fanfiction#critical role imagines#critical role imagine#critical role headcanon#critical role headcanons#critrole#campaign 2#cr2#caleb widogast#caleb widogast x reader#mollymauk tealeaf#mollymauk tealeaf x reader#mollymauk x reader#mollymauk#yasha nydoorin#yasha nydoorin x reader#essek thelyss#essek thelyss x reader#long may he reign#mighty nein#mighty nein x reader#the might nein#the mighty nein x reader
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For lovely Bill Potts if you'd be so kind:
2. Favorite canon thing about this character?
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?
And, if you'd like another one, for Anne of Cleves from Six:
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
And, if you'd like a third one, how about Rose Tyler:
4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?
11. Would you date this character?
18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?
Feel free to skip any :) I'm sorry to hear about the pain, hon, I hope it'll get better soon <3
2: kinda just how quick-witted she is? like she's so fucking smart, and she's like. matches the doctor's energy and is so amazing. and the lesbian-ness, definitely the lesbian energy
5: space girl - frances forever
22: i love when fic writers show how strong and like chaotic (in a good way) she is? like, how just bright she is as a person, ig. and i get a bit frustrated whenever people just push her off as just this unimportant side character, like no. she was a companion just as much as any others, she deserves some of the spotlight.
haha bill is my beloved <3 i would do so much for her lol
7: i absolutely love it when fandoms portray anna as like this fucking disaster queen, yknow? like she cannot cook and will start fires every time, but she's loyal af and will kill a man for you
9: for sure!! it'd be fun af to live with someone who is kinda same vibes, also i can cook without starting a fire which is crucial
24: she either reminds me of hercules mulligan from hamilton or dare i say mels?? idk they both give of the disaster queen vibes i've mentioned earlier
anne/a is most def a underrated character, and im really glad you asked me about her :)
4: this was hard to choose, considering DW is literally in every media possible lol, ended up choosing comics cause rose would kick ass as a comic book character - specifically marvel
11: i may be gay af, but alas, not exactly my type? idk, we just wouldn't fit in a relationship. friends for sure tho!!
18: canon ships is hard, considering i can only ship her with ten/tentoo but yeah, i think they're good for each other. im not a hardcore tenrose shipper, but if i can add it into a fic, i would
thank you sm for the long ask lol, im doing better (after taking five "extra-strength" ibuprofen/acetaminophen pills) <333
#doctor who#river song#the doctor#asks#not a search#bill potts#dr who#rose tyler#six the musical#six#anne of cleves#anna of cleves#musicals#hercules mulligan#hamilton
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No sadly it didn't but that's okay!! I'm so glad it was amazing!! And ooh Kevin? I didn't expect that but he is a west coast boy so it does make a lot of sense š but also he's such a sweetheart- and I love that he became the king of your heart that's so cute!!
I won't lie that beginning was a little overstimulating- it felt like we were entering a sci-fi movie with Diamond Life being the opening- But I can def see how it became like that for you- and I'm sorry that happened but I'm glad you were able to be put at ease during the ment! Kevin truly has that soothing personality~ I'm so glad he put you at ease so you could enjoy the rest of the concert more thoroughly! I love how he went from under the radar to being almost *more than likely* bias~
Yes- yes I did read that hehe~ Damn Sunwoo has just been stripping that man in California ebhbhhba- HE HAD TO GET A NEW ONE?!?!? MY GOD EBHBHEBHA KIM SUNWOO! ERIC SOHN!? He vv much is- (I loved his bite back outfit sm- with that harness around his forearm- idk if it was like that for yours but I hope it was ehbebha) He is vv much not a man to stay in his clothes- he acts embarrased but he kind of lives for it... ehbbhebha- No- that didn't happen... but Younghoon brushed his hair back in Bite Back š« š and then Sunwoo dropped his jacket off his shoulders... š³ And then Chanhee growled 'let's go' in that song... And since Hoonie was (in his opinion def not mine) showed up... he dropped his fucking jacket off his shoulders during Watch It... š« š« like the little menace he is :) š Idk how you survived nakey Eric but I'm glad you got to see that firsthand~
Me too... Ngl it doesn't get any easier... I'm so glad you enjoyed them and that your friend seemed to have a good time too! That's so good! OOOHH ?? It was Q there!??! It was Kevin and Eric for us!! Eric's merch sold out that night- and Kevin omg everyone was screaming for him. I love that each boy is getting the attention they deserve at different stops- that's what they deserve ššHe absolutely drips charisma... and the facial expressions are killer... Take all the time you need to process! I totally understand (as I still am too).
So does that mean Q is still in the running for you? š And your other biases š or has Kevin swept them away?
Q is still in the top few but Kevin takes first place. And now that I think of it, Eric was def more surprised with the shirt incident but not necessarily embarrassed. More like an āoh shit this was not in the plansā because although he was holding it together with one hand while at the back of the choreo, while he was at the front, he totally showed off. Heās so hot lolol if only I could meet him and stand next to him and not only see his gorgeous face but look down at it. Eheheheheh I love it when guys are shorter than me. And it was really nostalgic seeing Haknyeon because he had his bangs down and he looked just like he did back during p101 s2 so it made me a lil emotional. Tbh, all of them were so amazing.
also, although Eric was still definitely happy to be in Cali despite it not being his hometown LA, Kevin said that the Bay Area was special to him because Levi Stadium (in Santa Clara where the 49ers play) was the first place he ever saw beyonce live and everyone knows how much he lovessssss beyonce.
The other member who seemed especially popular was Sunwoo. And as for my photocard, I got Sangyeon and IDs were Q and Haknyeon. My friend gave me hers because sheās not necessarily a fan, she was there because I invited her. She got the same Sangyeon pc tho. I was too late to do any trading.
But yeah, all in all, it was awesome and Iām so sad itās over and still not yet entirely cognizant of the fact that it may be a very long time before I see another concert. But it was worth the significant amount of money I spent.
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hi rae how are uu!!!
i was reading about mulvey and the female gaze and i remembered you saying something about how it pushes bioessentialist agendas but i don't remember what u said exactly so do you mind sharing a piece of ur mind about this again
also!!!!! i've read captive prince with ur influence and then read ur laurent's pov rewrite and god!!!!! it was so so good it brought me to tears and made me laugh out loud and scream into my pillow at times... the first book didn't stick out to me that well but afterwards?? their dynamic is everything i was missing in life. also reading the first book in laurent's pov was an otherworldly experience, him getting surprised to see damien isn't the definition of all things evil like he thought ahhhh u captured him perfectly i think
also read all for the game series (saw a fanart of neil in ur blog and it kickstarted me getting into yet another fandom) and i was like wtf is this and then later i was like wtf is this but in a positive way. now the characters are all my babies (except kevin like yes i understand his struggles and all but i still see that guy as a little bitch which is a bit ironic when andreil are the biggest bitches to exist but still)
also binge-watched iwtv and goddddd gays with communication problems who happen to be vampires i love them all sm <333 do u have a fav character i wonder AND any thoughts on the last episode?
anyways i hope life is treating you kindly much kisses and good wishes <3
hi i'm good hope ur doing good as well!! such a fun message hang on let me take this piece by piece...
mulvey's male gaze the bane of my existence lmao...yeah the entire theory is rooted in bioessentialism. basically mulvey is basing her theory in freud who assumes that the categories 'father' 'mother' 'son' and 'daughter' are stable + static & therefore assumes that the categories 'male' and 'female' are stable + static biological categories which engender inherently different psychic/interior qualities. mulvey's entire argument hinges on the idea that men will be categorically unable to relate to/empathize with/see themselves as women onscreen--this argument begins to break down when you start asking questions like 'how is mulvey defining 'men' and 'women'? is she defining them, or is she assuming that they're static biological categories? are they static biological categories?' also i disagree with the idea that people are categorically unable to identify with characters across sex and/or gender & think it's kinda dumb tbh. to be fair, mulvey's theory was meant to apply to a pretty specific context and has largely been taken out of that context in ways that are very annoying but not necessarily her fault; still, when the original theory is so rooted in bioessentialism i don't really find any of it useful.
anyway. moving on to the fun stuff captive prince omg!! so glad u enjoyed the series & my own take on laurent...it was SO fun trying to get inside his head & imagine what would have been going on in there i love him so much <3 <3 tricky to write tho bc i was definitely trying 2 walk the line of like. not diminishing/excusing laurent's cruelty while simultaneously showing why he acts the way he does in the first book...abuse as cyclical etc...
and aftg lol such a trip...wtf is honestly an accurate response it's a wild ride but so much fun <3 & not liking kevin...valid honestly i like him but i also don't care abt him that much compared 2 the other characters...u should read 'the sunshine court' at some point it's abt jean & it will probably make u like kevin even less lmao
& finally. iwtv!!!!!!!! i've been obsessed w that show the past few weeks i just binge watched season 1 & have now been watching season 2...SO fucking good omg. personally my favorite character is. armand <3 idc what he does they could never make me hate him...last episode was soooo good claudia is my second-fave character just a smidge after armand i truly think her story is probably the most interesting + tragic out of all of them like. makes me feel a bit crazyinsane thinking abt it BUT her & madeleine. oh my goddddd that scene broke me. don't have many more coherent thoughts currently other than wailing + tearing my hair out etc but i am having a great time nonetheless...
anyway thank u 4 the message love catching up life has been busy but mostly treating me kindly hope it's doing the same for u!! <3
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wanted to send you this ask sooner but i fell asleep šš but you're so right hyunyn are so i love you it's ruining my life coded it's actually crazy, and my girl y/n is so the prophecy x waolom coded too :-( and i feel like some lyrics of tsmwel fit hyune's pov of the events and so long london fits with y/n's pov kinda, they were born to be the alchemy but are destined to loml (im losing it fr)
as always the written chapter was stunning, i feel like you could really see where each of them stand in this one bc their feelings and povs were so gorgeously juxtaposed at once and it made the entire thing so much more cathartic :-( but i'm a y/n girl through and through so i'll defend her in her rights AND her wrongs, i do think hyune was being unfair to her ngl and it was addressed in the chapter itself but it's crazy that he actively refused so listen to what she had to say and then went out of his way to reproach her for something he knows she had little control over.... plus idk him always assuming she's lying about everything just doesn't sit right with me, her having to literally pass out in front of him for him to realise that he was doing to much was crazy too. ik he's going through many things at once too and it's easier to villainise y/n in his mind as a coping mechanism but most of the things y/n do deserve some grace i feel, especially since she did show him and others that she changed for the better and now has a much healthier mindset, and i feel like we're forgetting that yeosang was the main instigator in this whole situation and it isn't fair for y/n to shoulder his responsibility in all of this either
but i'm so glad they're making amends with themselves and allowing themselves this second?? third?? chance that they really do deserve š„¹ and thank you sm for the update, sending you big big hugs as always š«š©·š©·
i agree yn is so prophecy coded and hyune is so tsmwel, stop im lit so sad cus the alchemy is my fav song and i want it to be them so bad but it doesnt fit:( at least not yet (i will make sure to make it fit tho)
i saw a lot of ppl talking about hyunjin and i understand how he might appear cruel specially since we've been in yn pov all this time and we saw/felt her pain and suffering but i think with hyunjin's personality the way hes acting aligns. like him being really strong headed and stubborn when he's hurt or when his values are being tested (example: when him and yeji were on rocky grounds before and he was mean to her bc of the whole yeosang thing where felix was still really kind even tho he didnt agree w yeji either)
another trait of his is that he's really protective of ppl he cares about and even cares for them more than he cares about himself (like when jyp gossip posts about him he doesnt care but when they're hurting yn he's willing to take action against them) and i think that what makes everything complicated to him. its the fact that yeji was the main victim in this which is why when him and yuna talk earlier he also tells her "this would be so much easier if she just hurt me alone"
sorry for talking so much ahdawjw im very passionate as you can tell :D thank you for writing to me this was a blessing to read, sending you big hugs right back <33
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ELLIEIEIEIEIE hi šš
bae you shouldāve HEARD the squeal i let out when you posted š i like rolled around on my bed and kicked my feet for a good minute or two IM SO GLAD YOUR BACK BAEEE š
also bae omg im realizing how many mistakes i made on my most recent ask omg its so embarrassing šš im assuming you understood what i meant tho? š IN MY DEFENSE I WAS ON THE TRAIN SO IT WAS BUMPY AND I DIDNT WANT PPL SEEING MY PHONE š« like have you ever been in public and then someones looking over at your phone?? SHIT HAPPENS TOO OFTEN I SWEAR.
bae missing gojo so bad rn i turned to character ai š
anyway do u remember C?? yeah so i confessed and uh š§āāļøhe kinda just brushed it off and brought up another girl š BUT GET THIS. THE OTHER GIRL IS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. like imagine youāre texting a girl whoās been your friend SINCE YOU WERE KIDS and KNOWING she has a crush on you and then you still bring up one of her closest friends relationship status. LIKE??? iām being so fr when i say this i cried. i called my friend D in TEARS after i finished talking to C and D was just like āyo wait what happened?ā and then i had to explain AND IT TURNS OUT C HAD BEEN ASKING ABOUT MY FRIEND FOR A WHILE. they danced together once at a party and apparently hes had a crush on her ever since??
okay but enough abt C,, hes an asshole and i never want to speak to him again (i still like him very much and i still need him but im tryna cope lolol) š howāve u been bae?? i hardly ever send in asks anymore so i feel like we donāt interact as often š omg bae do u have any show recommendations?? iāve been dying to watch something new lately but all the shows my friends recommend are ones iāve seen already šš
anyway bae thats all š i hope you were doing well on your hiatus (even though it was short!) and i canāt wait for the next kickoff update ā¼ļø byebye and i love uuuu
-š¦
hiii my lovely <33 OMG you're too fucking sweet i swear you make me smile everytime i see you in my inbox. yes it's nice to be back i missed everyone lots :'') i still might take it a lil easy tho haha i realized during my hiatus i've gotta just spend less time on tumblr between my fic updates kdjfhsdkfjl
haha yes i hate when ppl look at screens. but i always used to look at people's screens during lectures in college to see what they're up to and what they're ordering on amazon HAHA i guess it's human nature to be nosey asf
omg NOOOO babe that's horrendous fuck C i'm so sorry you went through that :(( you deserve sm better than that. aww bb whatever helps you cope is valid, but i do think that maybe it's time to let C go...you confessed n did what you could, and even if he didn't like you back, he should've treated your confession w care n respect. the way he reacted is major red flag!! i'm sorry though, i know you've known him a long time, so that has to be really tough to go through :'') chin up bb, i promise you'll find better guys out there that will treat you w the care you deserve
i've been okay!! i had my last day of work on thursday which was kind of bittersweet, i cried in front of my PI LOL (he's an old german man and he's always been very sweet to me n i'm really gonna miss him aaa) i had social plans the past couple of days which was fun but i'm kind of an introvert so i spent today recharging my social batter haha.
ooo i've been watching bojack horseman recently!! i like it, it's funny and realistic, but i've heard it becomes a total shitshow (not as in it becomes a bad show, it's still a great show BUT the characters kinda stress you out)...i really like it, i've been recommending it to people! i like shows that are kind of cynical commentaries w an overlay of comedy though HAHA so if you're into that too, i'd recommend it. if you wanna watch a really good romance show, i'd recommend 'one day' on netflix!! it's like a slow burn friends to lovers, and the acting in it was phenomenal. no spoilers but i will give a heavy angst warning.
thanks bb!! yes my hiatus was good haha i appreciate you sm <33 love u tooooo darling
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Was just randomly thinking about it, how would you rank all the Disney Princess movies? Like from favorite to least favorite, numbered list, or like letter (A, B, C) tiers?
I hope itās okay to talk about some of the placement reasons, we feel pretty passionate about this. Especially ones that are absolute favorites or might surprise others.
There is too much that has already been said about Beauty and the Beast. All I am going to say is that itās one of my favorite movies, that I could watch over and over again. Itās also my favorite romance story in the franchise šš
Little Mermaid also has been praised a lot too, so we will keep it brief. Ariel is my favorite Disney princess, because I love how flawed she is, and as a queer person I can relate to her relationship with her father with my own parents. This movie and Beauty and the Beast feel so queer to me, and we are glad that Howard Ashmanās influence and involvement were strong in them both.
Yes I put Cinderella 3 at Godtier I love this movie sm, and we know it didnāt need to exist, but we are glad someone made their Cinderella fanfic a reality. It breathes more characters into the prince (heās the best Disney prince I will die on that hill), her step sister Anastasia, and even the king. Her step mom is even more of a threat in this movie too. Also this movie looks really good for just being direct to DVD. This movie also pokes fun of its classic fairytale ways, but in a more charming way like Enchanted does.
Sleeping Beauty is very high because this movie is fucking gorgeous, *eats all the bg art up* I also love how petty and bitchy Maleficent is. Also love that the movies real heroines are the three fairies, and you donāt get much movies were three older women get to be the protagonists.
In our opinion we like Frozen 2 better than one. We just like the settings and atmosphere more. We like some songs more too, like Into the Unknown and Show Yourself. Iām a simple queer person with the mental illness, so we really relate to Elsa, so we like that she has more focus in this film. Still this movie is kinda of double edged sword because some side characters like Kristoff and Olaf are actually so annoying in this movie, I never thought much of these characters before, but now I despise them. Also they took out some things that would have made this movie so much better, like a romantic song between Kristoff and Anna that honestly makes their relationship more endearing. Also the fucking castle would have been destroyed in the end, making this tale of colonialism much more symbolic. They werenāt brave enough to do that tho, or who knows higher ups probably didnāt like the idea.
Speaking of what might have been, I wish men didnāt meddle and take over a womanās vision when it comes to Brave. Itās another movie were we feel in our opinion it could have been better than what we got.
Iām not gonna say much about Pocahontas, because itās not really our place. We will just say as a child it never was a favorite of ours. I donāt like how the human characters look, a lot of the characters are weak too, the villian is so lame. The only positives I can say some of the music can be amazing, some of the visuals are gorgeous, and I like the animal companions. However both films especially the 2nd make me like š¬
Oh I almost forget Aladdin is not here, because I feel like I need to rewatch it again to see where we would place it. To be fair it doesnāt feel like a Disney Princess movie anyways, since Aladdin gets more focus than Jasmine. There are also some Disney sequels we have not seen that are not here.
#disney#disney princess#disney prinesses#thanks for sending this question it was so much fun to answer#asks
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I love your Tess stuff on AO3 and Iām glad I finally remembered to follow you here!! As a lesbian (who for some reason only writes men smut even though Iāve never slept with nor have a desire to sleep with a man) I love seeing Tess with a female reader!!! You make me want to start writing for her, but I love to make everything soft and happy and Iām afraid I wouldnāt capture her right!
Hi! Thank you sm for following me over here, I tend to post Drabbles here that donāt make it onto AO3 if youāre looking for more stuff you can find it on my masterlist š
I honestly used to be the same. I only ever wrote straight smut even tho I have no desire for it myself lmao. But Tess is for the girlies ( and maybe Joel in canon š¤§)
You should totally write for her! There are not many Tess writers around honestly. And you can write her however you wanna. I love writing her a little softer and happier, I have a fair bit of soft sappy stuff posted and in draft because itās just nice yk. And honestly if you do think you might write her ā too ā soft or youāre a stickler for sticking to her canon behaviour, you can always writer her in earlier outbreak years. The show shows us her in Lincoln and sheās a lil ray of sunshine making besties with Frank. So you can always write her in that time period if you really wanna be true to canon :)
And thereās always the point of fanfiction doesnāt always have to be this super true to canon behaviour when it comes to characters and how they behave. Thatās the beauty of fanfiction. You make them your own. My version of Tess is completely different to another writers yk. You make them yours! And the beauty of Tess to is that we know so little about her really, so sheās kinda an open book. A blank slate. You can make her how you want.
Definitely give it a go and if you do end up posting anything with her pls tag me!
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I AM HERE FOR THE SECOND TIME TODAY AND I HAVE A LOT TO SAY!!! FIRST OFF I LOVED EVERYTHING ABT THIS STORY!!!!
the actual enemies (or at least very bitter rivals) to lovers, the drama, the chois showing up all of a sudden like what???? it was better than i could have expected
i think this yn is my fave yn so far. which is saying a lot but she felt so real!! her struggles with her self-esteem and learning that she's nore than what her family told her to be and that she deserves to be loved and cherishes both platonically and romantically <333
AND I HAD SMTH ELSE TO SAY ABT ONE CHAPTER IN PARTICULAR BUT I! CAN'T! REMEMBER!!!
anyways i think i said pretty much all i needed to say in the tags but i loved this smau sm <3 fave character obviously our dear ynwon shipper. or beomgyu. actually it's probs beomgyu i love him <33
a final question: why did you decide to add beomgyu, yeonjun and soobin? did you have it planned from the start, like them specifically? and who was YOUR favorite character??
i'll be reading your new(ish) ynwon au probably not tomorrow but the day after bc i'm gonna have a busy day (9h & a half of classes and then i'm going to a 2010 pop themed party! fun!!)
as always, have a good night and i hope you're doing ok <3 if you're ever not, you can always talk to me <33
ITS ME, HI IM THE PROBLEM ITS ME!! *ANTI HERO BEING MY ANTHEM SAYS A LOT ABOUT ME*
Moving on from that, I'm glad you loved the story so much. It's always wonderful to know that readers love what I write. Like yeah I mainly wrote for myself but the praise tho I feel it's unneeded (I'm always gonna be finding things I couldve done better š).
Honestly this story really took a life of its own. I say that with every smau tbh, I start with one idea and then by the end it's a different but still somehow similar idea that I started it š.
I'm so glad this YN is ur fave. She's struggling so much even if everything was okay cause her inner demons were always there, they didn't disappear and her learning to lean on those around her, accept that she is loved and cared for was very important to me.
I also was very cautious in that I didn't villainize YN for these very real feelings that everyone feels.
God knows I've been through moments of self hatred and I wanted to show that it's never as bad as you think. You might think your all alone but there is always someone there for you to talk to. I know that YN frustrated readers when she let her insecurities get in the way of her happiness but that is a reality that sometimes you get so in your head that you think what your doing is best when it isn't.
Sorry went on a whole tangent abt this YN šš
.
I loved your reactions in the tags, pls don't stop them, they were the best and I need them for every story now šš.
Beomgyu was his chaotic self and I loved him for it š. @nyxtwixx being your fave character cracks me up honestly.
Oooh good question. I don't necessarily plan my smaus tbh. I just have the rough idea then it's chapter by chapter. Which if you've noticed is why chapter titles tend to change quite a bit cause I change my mind or this one idea doesn't work but this other idea for the next chapter works better.
I love txt and Soobin is my bias so I was always going to include him. Yeonjun and Beomgyu kinda just came along too. The idea to have them be triplets came and I ran with it. All three of them were gonna cause more chaos and strife with there being actual feelings still there with Sooyn but I decided against that after considering how much YN is dealing with low self esteem and self hatred. In the end I love the bond they have š«¶š¼š«¶š¼.
If I can give another rec, I suggest reading Peace that's my other HP au but it's Jay this time and it's Gossip Girl meets Harry Potter. (I just wanna know your views on that š).
Take your time, the new Jungwon fic will be there just a word of warning, I'm sorry if Hyunjin is your bias... That's about all the spoiler I'll give you in regards to that smau.
Don't get burned out with so much school!! And have fun at that party sounds like it'll be a great time!!.
Same goes to you, if you ever want to vent or just chat, I'm here š«¶š¼š«°š¼.
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reblogging this to my main as i yap about how painful these are š¤§
- first of all chan you know the time management having to handle everything under pressure and y/n had to suffer because theyāre third on the list?? it was too much for him..
- ahh the āitās not you, itās meā kinda vibe like chan please itās not you! š the things are just to complicated ughh *bangs my head to the wall*
- minho?? the way he broke down in tears when y/n left.
- okay he slid down on the floor and... ITāS SO PAINFUL TO SEE HIM LIKE THIS like he doesnāt really show his emotions to everyone, not even crying but THIS!! OML you just broke my heart.
- changbin...the unrequited love because heās with someone else š how am i supposed to process this information? but you know what, this is actually better than a break up but fuck having to love someone you cannot have. itās relatable...
- another unrequited love for hyunjin but i feel like something is holding him back... nooo because why do i feel like itās too sudden?? i mean āthat was the last time you and hyunjin talkā āheās gonna have a relationship with someone elseā would you look at that okay buddy you need to talk again no iām not happy about you guys getting hurt š hyunjin MAKE UP YOUR MIND !
- i was about to throw hands for jisung but ok YOU š«µš»š«µš» NEED š„ TO š„ TALK š„ IT š„ OUT!! jisung is a lovesick squirrel wanted to be loved so please ššš
- okay but iām glad this is just a starting point for the both of them and has a high chance of being together in the future.
- FELIX!! complicated huh? itās like you were once lovers, now exes to āwhat are we?ā no istg, i see this relationship deserves a second chance š¼
- and the kisses tho! iām sure both of them have something bigger inside rather than complicated š¤ but thatās just a red flag but i love red flag sooo... š
- OKAY NOW THAT WEāRE WITH SEUNGMIN JSKSKSKSKSK HEāS JELLY JELLY!!! y/n pushing through to date a guy just to validate seungminās feelings because apparently she wanted to be loved by her own best friend!??! š¤
- KIM SEUNGMIN I HATE YOU FOR NOT BEING BRAVE AND YES YOUāRE FUCKED! š»
- now kiss y/n and make up! you need to dry those tears and make sure sheāll never cry again because fuck! you guys deserve each other.
- no confession needed the actions spoke a lot about the situation ššš
- I LOVE THIS SM OMG seungmin please just kiss !!!
- *inhales* ācops and robbersā chase each other full of energy pushing me further pulling me closer some sort of chemistry i think iām addicted to the title āyou & meā donāt ask āwhat are we?ā ooh ooh i like it baby!!! š£ļøš£ļøš£ļø
- we shouldnāt be having situationship folks!! jeongin calling y/n one night but it didnāt go through?? bro you fucked it up!
- well seungminās first verse of āi like itā said it all. poor y/n had to go through with such a red flag and a no label enjoyer š»
- and jeongin?? make up your mind if youāre just gonna drink all of your feelings and drunk call y/n
- lowkey wants to see him crying and drunk in their doorsteps begging to ātakeā him back š¤
ā.Ė į”£š© ā ā skz and the reason you aren't together !
āŗ š¹ .Ā genre: angst
āŗ š¹ .Ā a/n: i loveee me some angst so i hope you'll enjoy! <3 seungmin's part is slightly longer because i wrote it for my beloved keisy @starlostseungmin <3
šą§Ā chanĀ šą§ - he chose work over pursuing his feelings for you.
He knows how you feel about him, and you know how he feels about you. Things couldnāt be simpler.
But in reality, things were more complicated than ever. Yes, Chan did in fact confess, but with the same breath he also told you this could never go any further.
You were devastated, confused and sad, not understanding what was going on through that bright mind of his.
You liked each other, you both wanted this ā so, what was the issue?
It wasnāt you, it could never be. It was him, as always.
He was too busy, his job too demanding to leave any room for you and the precious feelings youāve developed for him.
Chan felt like he didnāt deserve your love, because he could never be there for you in the way you needed a boyfriend to be.
He could never be there every morning when you woke up, kiss you goodbye each time you left the house or greet you with a big hug when you returned. He just couldnāt, too caught up in work to even notice the hours tick by.
You didnāt deserve an absent lover, one that could not put you first.
No matter how much he cared, how much his whole being longed for you, his job would always be his main priority. Then, his seven brothers. While you, would end up being third on his list.
It pained him to admit it, and even more so admit it to you but since he respected you so much, you deserved nothing but the truth.
This information crushed you, every word that left his mouth a stone that contributed to the mountain you were quickly getting buried under.
āBut I love you.ā
He shook his head, brown curls getting into glossy eyes. āI love you too, but we ā I, canāt.ā
At the end, just as you were preparing to depart his studio, he stood up. Without thinking, you hugged tightly, aware this would be the last time before things would change forever.
āPlease donāt be sad because of me.ā
How could you not? How did he expect you to not mourn the beautiful relationship you could have had, if only he wasnāt so against it?
If only he would have chosen you.
šą§Ā minhoĀ šą§ - because he broke up with you.
Yeah, pro idol Minho ended your relationship on a random Thursday night, taking everyone but most importantly you, by complete surprise.
āLetās break up.ā
You canāt believe your ears, especially since youāre in his house, eating the food he just prepared for the both of you, in his kitchen while wearing one of his shirts.
Nothing was amiss, nothing even prompted it. Things have been going great in your relationship ā there was no recent argument or disagreement that could explain his sudden decision.
Blames it on his work and his hectic schedule, trying to appear as detached and unaffected as he possibly could. But you know better; you see it all.
The way his fist clenches over the dish rag, how his eyes wonāt meet yours even for a split second. This isnāt something he wants to do, not in the slightest. Yet, here he is, breaking both of your hearts for a reason he doesnāt even bother revealing.
It stings in the worst way possible, even more so when you stand up to hug him and he just puts a hand up, stopping you in your tracks.
āPlease, Y/n. Donāt make this harder for me.ā
Tears well up in your eyes and thatās when he looks away, slumping against the counter as a sniff reaches his ears. Heās gripping the wood with such force youāre afraid it might actually snap.
āWhy are you doing this? Whatās going on?ā
But Minho doesnāt respond, not even as you start crying and begging him to talk to you, to tear down the wall he suddenly plopped right between you two in your relationship.
Heās so close, mere inches away, but his heart that belonged to you, that always responded to yours, is suddenly grabbed harshly out of your hands and shipped away to an unknown destination.
āMinho.ā You sniff, not hiding your tears or the pain thatās slowly ripping your heart to pieces and letting them fall all the way down to your stomach, trying to escape from the torture. Because even the idea of not having him in your life was pure torture.
āI think you should go.ā
He walks past you, head hung low as he throws the dish rag on the table without saying anything else, putting an end to the conversation. An end to your relationship. Throwing it all away like the time spent together meant absolutely nothing to him.
Like it was the easiest thing in the world.
But it wasnāt, not like heād ever let see you the way he broke down as you slammed the front door shut, walking out of his life for good. Even if you didnāt agree, it was better this way.
Your life was better, and happier, without him in it. Thatās what he kept murmuring to himself as he slid to the ground, against his bedroom door, crying while clutching his chest, afraid his heart might stop beating.
It was all for the better.
šą§Ā changbinĀ šą§ - is already in a relationship.
The most stupid thing you can ever do in this lifetime is fall in love with someone whoās already in love with another.
Not only is he in love, heās also in relationship thatās been going on for three beautiful years.
The thing is, you havenāt always had feelings for Changbin.
It was weird, really. For the longest time now, he was just your bubbly co-worker who laughed so loud the whole department could hear him. The mood maker of the company.
It happened on the annual Christmas party, where you drunk a little too much as you were nursing a broken heart after your ex dumped you out of the blue.
The whole world was spinning but you were happy ā happier than youāve been in months.
Noticing you could barely stand, Changbin ever the gentleman, offered to drive you home.
You complained and complained but after some more convincing from him, Changbin managed to coax you onto the passenger seat of his sports car.
You were silent the whole ride but as he parked on your driveway, he gasped, worriedly grasping your hands and exclaiming about the tears on your cheeks. You didnāt even notice you were crying.
But thatās when the dam broke and it all came to the surface, tears flowing freely down your face and neck as you sobbed, telling Changbin everything from beginning to end.
And he listened, holding your hands and nodding when appropriate, offering you the occasional sip of water or a tissue to wipe your face, not interrupting once.
His heart broke for you, unaware his mere presence was already working on mending yours.
The next morning, you almost didnāt show up to work as you remembered everything, how you made a fool out of yourself in front of everyone but especially Changbin. But something pushed you to do so.
As you arrived, a care basket was on your desk, accompanied by a little note with a crooked smiley face and then, he appeared, doing the exact same expression.
And you laughed, wholeheartedly. And you continued to do so as you began taking your lunch breaks together, working side by side and even taking turns on driving the other home.
Falling for him was inevitable, but you didnāt mind, all warm and fuzzy on the inside as the heart your ex broke was anew.
That is, until you met her. You and Changbin became so close that he couldnāt help but want to introduce you to his other half, the woman who loved him unconditionally that knew a little too much about you.
And just like that, your heart shattered once again, the pieces so tiny they were easily blown away in the wind, leaving behind a big whole were all of your love once resided. How could you be so stupid to believe someone could ever love you again?
šą§Ā hyunjinĀ šą§ - you found out he was in love with someone else.
Plain and simple, as heartbreaking as it sounds.
Let me paint this picture: you two are best friends, each otherās safe places. You always talk about everything and anything with one another, feeling comfortable to share even your darkest secrets.
Because of that, you genuinely thought he might even reciprocate your feelings at some point.
But one day, as youāre both hanging out at your house, watching a movie, all of the hope and daydreams you held in your heart for a happy ending with him just get crushed.
He suddenly dumps this new information on you while heās casually munching on some popcorn, watching the couple on the screen confess their love for each other like your heart didnāt just stop beating.
Youāre so taken aback that you stop breathing for a moment, looking at him with wide eyes.
For some strange reason, Hyunjin doesnāt meet your gaze even as it goes silent between you two and your eyes keep burning holes into the side of his head.
Only when you finally tear your gaze away, eyes glossy as you try to murmur encouraging words does he finally turn to you.
His breath hitches in his throat at the sight but other than that, he doesnāt comment on it.
The whole ordeal feels like a slap in the face, hurting more than any physical injury youāve ever sustained but, itās not like you could blame anyone but yourself for it. Youāve missed your chance and now, Hyunjin was going to be in a happy relationship with someone else.
So, as expected from any best friend put in that situation, you say through gritted teeth.
āYou should confess.ā
Hyunjin searches your face for any sign of discomfort and finds many ā but, as expected, doesnāt say anything, just looks away and nods slowly. Like he just canāt maintain eye contact for more than five seconds at a time.
And thatās the end of it. The whole vibe changes, now uncomfortable and cold and itās clear that neither of you is paying any attention to the movie anymore.
But he still remains till the end, and when the credits start rolling, you stand up first and bid him goodnight without your usual warm smile or departing embrace before sprinting up the stairs to your room.
His heart squeezes painfully in his chest as your door slams shut, the tears in your eyes bringing him unexplainable sorrow.
And as he leaves your apartment that night, down in the dumps, you know things between you have changed forever.
Because thatās the last time you and Hyunjin talk.
šą§Ā jisungĀ šą§ - he hasnāt confessed yet.
Jisung has liked you for a while now but for some reason, every time he wanted to take that leap of faith and finally confess, something always came up.
You were interrupted, plans had to be cancelled or you were simply too busy to even talk to each other.
It was driving him insane, especially when heād spot you at an event surrounded by people he felt he couldnāt push through, missing his chance at your attention every time.
He felt forced to watch you from the sidelines, a background character in your life that would never get his moment to shine.
You were friends, but he often felt he cared about you more than you cared about him and it was tearing him apart.
Each time you smiled or laughed at one of his jokes, everything around him disappeared as time seemed to come to a stop, making you look even more beautiful. Which was a hard thing to do since you were already perfect in his eyes.
His insecurities and crippling fear of rejection were literally ruining his life, preventing him from experiencing the love story heās been yearning for.
Jisung was good at hiding his feelings from you, but sometimes, he slipped up.
Like that time, he held your waist for a little too long, or guided your hands over the piano keys like it was the most natural thing in the world. Those moments when he wasnāt overly conscious, when he got lost in the moment, were your favorite.
You see, in his mission to prevent you from discovering how insanely in love he was with you, Jisung managed to make you believe the opposite. That he hated you. Okay, maybe not hate, just strongly dislike.
Always avoiding being left alone with you, barely meeting your eyes or pulling away when you got a little too close. He seemed repulsed, and it hurt you.
Where you really that unpleasant in his eyes?
He was nice and bubbly around everyone else, no matter the gender. Why couldnāt he be the same Jisung whose smile made your heart skip several beats around you, too?
This went on for a long while, which solidified the idea he hated you in your head, until you couldnāt take it anymore.
One day, Jisung almost walked in on you and Felixā¦hugging on the practice room floor? His heart dropped, brows furrowing in confusion. Felix knew how he felt about you, he would never disregard that, right?
Everything clicked when he heard your muffled sobs and pained voice.
āI give up, Felix.ā You said, hiding your face in his chest as a loud sob escaped you. āJisung hates me, itās official! I tried so, so hard but it was no use.ā Felix murmured something back, deep voice uncharacteristically soft as he comforted you, caressing your back.
Jisung couldnāt hear what he said though, eyes filling with tears as the only thing resonating in his ears was the pounding of his own heart. You thoughtā¦he hated you?
šą§Ā felixĀ šą§ - because your relationship is tooā¦complicated at the moment.
Complicated didnāt even begin to describe your relationship with the ray of sunshine.
He was your ex that somehow slithered his way back into your life again, only this time, as a friend. Not even, just an acquaintance that knew too many of your secrets and biggest aspirations.
There was no denying the feelings you still harbored for him, the flame flickering in your heart each time he was around; each time he spoke, he smiled, he laughed or even as much as looked at you, your heart thumped so loudly in your chest you were afraid he was able to hear it.
It was embarrassing, especially since he didnāt seem as affected.
Your relationship ended on a sour note ā arguing, screaming, crying, the whole package.
Yet a few months later, when you happened to be at the same party, Felix accompanied by a friend walked up to you like nothing even happened, greeting you brightly.
It was horrible, and you almost cried right there and then, missing the way his doe eyes took in all of the little details that changed about you ever since you broke up, desperately committing them to memory.
Like he never wanted to forget, because he didnāt. Felix never wanted to forget about you, even if you didnāt love him anymore.
And so, this happened a few more times until the inevitable took place.
You kissed. And never spoke about it.
And then you kissed again, and again, until he was coming over to your house in the middle of the night to do more than kiss.
It messed with your head, the way he was looking at you ā like you hung the stars on the night sky for him and him alone. Like he loved you and wasnāt breaking your heart each time those plush lips kissed every inch of your skin, worshipping every part of your body.
āWhy do you keep coming back?ā Youād whisper one night, resting your head on his naked chest as the moon bare witness to your unspoken feelings.
āYou keep calling.ā
āAnd when Iāll stop,ā you move to look at him, face mere inches away from his, hands supporting your weight on his chest, āwill you still come?ā
He hesitates, staring straight into your eyes. āMost likely, yeah.ā
āWhy?ā
āI donāt know.ā
Yeahā¦complicated.
šą§Ā seungminĀ šą§ - because he is your best friend.
For most, the transition from best friends to lovers was as natural as breathing, something inevitable that was bound to happen one way or the other. Not for Seungmin.
He didnāt even allow his mind to go down that road, to think about being more than friends with you, one of the people he held the closest to his heart.
Not because he didnāt have romantic feelings for you, but because he was afraid.
Yes, he was afraid that once that line was crossed, the one that kept you firmly in place in the beautiful friendship that only blossomed and became very special over the years, it would all disappear.
Things would change and shift, which would bring forth your downfall.
In his eyes, the risk of fighting and breaking up was too big for him to even consider taking your relationship to the next level. He didnāt want to lose you, never.
But what he failed to take into account was that you would not stay single forever.
Thatās why, the moment you skipped over to him and squealed about having a date, his heart almost stopped beating.
His world was spinning, like an earthquake started in his head which was quickly crumbling down every single wall and boundary, and rational decision he ever made over the years.
āYouā¦have a date?ā He gulped, ignoring the alarms going off in his head that were deafening him. āWith who?ā
āThis guy from work.ā You shrugged, excitement dimming as your gaze met his, serious. āHe isnāt the one I like, but I guess it will have to do for now.ā
Seungmin wasnāt stupid but his heart understood your allusion before his mind did, thumping loudly and stealing his breath away.
You were talking about him. You were going out with another guy but were thinking about him ā he was the one you liked!
Still, he didnāt vocalize a response, choosing to nod and pat you on the back gently, staring at anything else other than the disappointment that overwhelmed your whole frame, making you appear oh so small.
The day of your date arrived sooner than heād like, and Seungmin was miserable, especially since you texted him the location ājust in caseā.
Usually, he was more than happy to know where you were, safe and sound, but this time he would have preferred you didnāt let him know you were with another guy at the restaurant you frequented together.
Hours passed, and night was making its presence known, but still no sign from you. Was he worried? No. Because for once, you staying out meant the date was a success and you were having the time of your life with this guy that wasnāt him.
Thatās until, a mere half an hour later, loud knocking had him off the couch in a second, opening the door to find you frowning, and with tears in your eyes. Opening his mouth to speak, shocked, thinking something had happened on the date, your finger hitting his chest stopped him.
āWhy didnāt you come?ā You sniffed. āI thought going out with someone else would finally prompt you to admit that what we have is more than a simple friendship! Do you hate me that much?ā
He was speechless, grabbing you by the elbows as you barged in, tears streaming down your face.
āAnswer me, Kim Seungmin!ā Well, he was fucked.
šą§Ā jeonginĀ šą§ - isnāt sure what he feels for you yet.
Or better yet, his commitment issues prevented him from admitting to any feelings he might have.
See, you werenāt just friends. You were a little more than that, spending most of your free time together going to cute cafes and what would be considered dates, acting all lovey dovey.
That is, when you werenāt spending the weekend bound to his bed. That wasnāt fair, sometimes he was the one tied up. A very mutual arrangement.
Jeongin managed to drag you into a situationship you were now too deep into to break off, having developed actual feelings.
But each time you tried to speak to him about said feelings, heād close off quicker than a frightened snail, impossible to reach.
After each one of these occasions, he wouldnāt contact you for days on end, sometimes even weeks, leaving you wondering if heād ever come back.
He always did, he couldnāt stay away from you no matter how much he tried.
Even if he messed with other people in that time, heād still make his way back to you, smiling like nothing even happened and ready to give you all of his attention and affection again.
It was exhausting, and very, very painful.
But you still welcomed him back with open arms, too happy to see him to even care that each time he appeared in your life again, you were not the same.
Every time he disappeared and you didnāt say anything, a piece of your heart was ripped off harshly, stomped on and then thrown in the trash, devoid of any color or life. Like an old toy, forgotten in favor of a new, shiny one.
But Jeongin didnāt care. Itās not like he could be bothered to pick up your scattered pieces ā they didnāt interest him, you did.
Not like he ever noticed the light in your eyes dimming each time he stormed back into your life after pretending you didnāt exist for weeks.
To be honest, you donāt think youāll ever be together.
Not now, or in the future.
No matter how much you hated to admit it, the facts were neatly laid out before you ā Jeonging didnāt care about you at all, no matter how sweet, loving or good you were to him.
He thought you couldnāt notice, that your love for him was too blinding for you to see anything else other than him.
But you did. And he also did when one day, for the first time since he met you, as he stumbled out of a bar, giddy and tipsy with his phone to his ear ready to hear your sweet voice, his call didnāt go through.
#OKAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SEUNGMIN DENI IāM SO HAPPY THAT YOU MADE THEM CRY AND REALIZE THE LOVE THEY HAVE FOR EACH OTHER#although seungmin fucked up a bit#BUT YES!!!#these were so good!!#iām all out of words grrrr#thank you for writing this masterpiece#ć¼sfw recs š«§ !
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hi! for the ask thing: 8, 9, 11, 15, 17, 18, 20, 21, 23, and/or 30 :)
so many of these answers are earth after rain because i am obsessed! this is like an essay almost lol
What fic meant the most to you to write? & What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?
8&9 are the same two answers, the only multi chapter fics i had this year, earth after rain and somewhere on lsd.
earth after rain is the only multi chapter fic i've ever finished!! and i've been very stressed this fall so it helped with escaping that. there's something very therapeutic about writing such an obsessive, unhealthy relationship, plus i'm glad mal liked it bc it was inspired by her art.
somewhere on lsd i love sm bc it takes place in chicago, where i live & grew up, and the lily & regulus & fabian friendship is based on these insane characterizations my friend (who is also from chicago) and I created. so it's like a love letter to chicago and my friend as well as jily
What fic was the most difficult to write?
unsurprisingly it's earth after rain. i paid more attention to the prose than usual to get a gothic feel, and from lily's pov i would look at the time period usage that comes up when you google a word and if it was recent i would not use the word.
plus they have some sex that is not to my taste, but very in character, so that was hard. and the blurry line between lily wanting to drink james' blood and fuck him was challenging. multiple times i dialed it back bc while I felt I was writing her in character and realistically it was becoming really not sexy. AND i'm not catholic.
What was the hardest fic to title?
i think earth after rain?? i hate titling fics and i wanted this one to also have a thematic or metaphorical meaning and sound like foggy woods
Share your favorite opening line
ig it's from earth after rain, there's a lot of something like foreshadowing. obviously rain/weather is significant here
It started raining when James left his fatherās side, and it hadnāt stopped since.
Share your favorite ending line
this is from supercut, a one shot for my nichest ship, fabian/lily, which i could actually go on about for ages even tho fabian has no canon character traits. also it's multiple lines but whatever whatever.
i like how it captures the emotional moment lily would have been at 16/end of fifth year
Lily wanted so much, too much. Always, she'd stemmed her hunger, hid the ravenous, the instinct, sex, anger, the sharp bits of her that cut. Fabian liked it when she cut. When she bit into him. He wanted more. Sheād give it, happily.
Share your funniest line
i think somewhere on lsd is very funny but a lot of it is longer dialogue so here's something short
āA weirdo you want to bend you over theāā Lily slapped Marlene on the shoulder. āShut up! The only thing I want isā¦ a good tip.ā āWhat kind of tip?ā
What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?
I answered this for earth after rain but god i want to make myself think about another fic. i wrote a little one shot with sirius & his mom where we see sirius being parentified and i didn't intend for him to be parentified when i started, just to show his similarities to his mother. interesting tho bc harry kind of is parentified in his relationship with sirius š
What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?
i use google docs and scrivner (i paid for it, i do like it a lot)
What would you like to write next year?
more canon!! i want to write more character exploring stuff, more one shots, I have an idea for a series of james pov one shots all based off of lines of the same song so I realllly want to actually do that. i also have a hunger games au fjdklsfj that i want to start publishing in the new year.
also bc i need to write unhealthy relationships, ig, teacher/student jily set in 1990s wizarding world (lily is like 25 and james is like 45 and married)
#m#ask#apalapucian#someone ask me to talk about fabian/lily they're so#they're so being 17 in july#they're sooooo ribs#fic: earth after rain
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hi angel <3 how are you doing? when are you seeing ateez? iām so excited for you :ā)
i still havenāt heard anything back from my practicum so im stressin (: but trying not to die of anxiety bc idgaf if i keep studying in this uni tbh but we persist. iām so ready for lolla and forgetting my problems for a sec.
thank you for sending loveā¹ļø she passed away post op because she was too weak, it breaks my heart so much </3 they did do the bloodwork beforehand but it wasnāt included in the receipt bc i got all karen when they called us. the vet was still kinda sketchy and def isnāt really good at talking with ppl. but they were nice enough. i just wish they wouldāve communicated the risks a little better </3 but im just glad she isnāt in pain anymore.
i donāt have a record player that works either lol. i just love vinyls bc theyāre so pretty. i really really want indigo but everywhere ive seen it itās so expensiveš i had never seen any shinee ones so now i need one toošš mine is so pretty tho! i donāt have pics of the disc in itself but itās white and so cool. but i do have my pullsāØ the poster is huge and so cool too. itās on sale @ amazon super cheap.
manifesting hello kitty woo & hongjoong foreverāØ i love you sm bb! i hope everything is going well! and just in case you see ateez b4 you see this message, i hope you have the best time!! yeosan pics are always welcome and appreciatedāØ
(also how are u feeling after seeing jisungās fits this weekend? he looked so goodš)
love,
šāā¬
BAEEEEEEE I see Ateez today Iām so excited !! š¼š«¶š«¶š«¶š«¶š«¶ Hongjoong my rockstar bf (Hanji is my other one) itās been over a year since Iāve been to a proper kpop concert that wasnāt a festival or solo show I am so fucking hyped RAHHHHH I promise to get as many Yeosang pics as physically possible šāāļø
Iām so sorry you havenāt heard from your practicum site yet :((( I canāt believe these places are able to get away with being this disorganized. My sister hasnāt heard from hers either and they still havenāt sent her new laptop sheās supposed to use in her first training next week so sheās also trying not to stress bc thereās literally nothing she can do ā¹ļø fuckkkkk these places for wasting time the way that they do
Iām so sorry to hear that she passed :((( Iām glad sheās not in pain anymore but I still canāt help but feel like it was partially their fault this happened in the first place :( how is your boyfriend coping with all of it? Sending you guys all my love and healing vibes and I hope your kitties are comforting you guys during this tough time :( itās just been such a rough month.
AAAAA in better news the Ateez vinyl is SO cute?????? Neeeeeed šš«¶ indigo was super expensive (I think like $60-70) but I saw it randomly in stock at target and I couldnāt resist š my dad has a working record player I might just steal from him bc I donāt feel like shelling the money out for another but I want to play my vinyl at some point. Ohhh to have parents you can steal from š«¶š
I love you so so much bby I canāt wait to tell you all about both my Ateez shows !!!!
Also Jisungās outfits this weekendā¦ā¦. š¦ my sister said if she had one wish in the world itād be to never hear my horny thoughts about Jisung ever again. And I think that perfectly describes how bad I was thirsting over him all week. I hate children but I would bear a whole CHILD for this manā¦ā¦. š§āāļøāā”ļø
ALSO DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TAEMIN TOURā¦.. genuinely tweaking rn. I canāt ā¤ļøš§āāļø
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