#so full credit here goes to Jeff

[slimeshade]

[greatunironic]

eddie wakes up in a strange room. this was not particularly unusual for him, historically: he’d spent most of his twenties waking up in new and interesting places (including a handful of jail cells). but after eddie, the label, and the los angeles superior court system decided it would be best if he stopped drinking and doing blow, it stopped being such a regular occurrence.

so it’s almost alarming to him, now, to be blinking up at an unfamiliar cement ceiling with the raging bitch of all headaches and generally feeling like he got hit by a truck, got whiplash in a crash with the way his neck aches. he’d think he was hungover like all those times before except for how sharp the pain is, bright.

he worries, briefly, he’s relapsed, or someone’s slipped him something. but he remembers what him and the boys had been up to, before this, and he thinks it’d’ve been a strange night indeed if someone roofied a c-list (b-list if he’s feeling charitable) musician at a fucking frozen four game.

because yeah, eddie remembers: they’d been third row, watching the wisconsin ladies clean up and cheering for jeff’s kid sister like she was about to get olympic gold. (she probably would, someday. her and that mayfield girl who played defense were looking down the barrel at a 2026 run apparently.

eddie’s been to a handful of games over the years, when touring and recording allows them to go. he’s resolutely never been a sports guy but he’ll admit, when pressed, that live hockey is pretty dope. to say nothing, of course, of how jeff would probably murder them all in their sleep if they didn’t rep the red and white for lottie.

(and also — and this is between eddie and his god alright — but lottie’s coach? standing back there in his suit, hair styled and dialed, snapping his gum, yelling at the refs? kind of doing it for him, okay. worth the price of admission, even if the tickets weren’t free.)

when he thinks harder — which hurts too — the last thing he clearly remembers was someone from the beavers scoring, bringing their lead to 5-1, and a slapshot from the other team getting out over the boards and nearly taking out some lady’s popcorn. someone behind them in the seats said, “jesus they’re getting desperate, eh?”

then shit goes dark on him, not even a fade to black, but a full on smash cut, roll credits black, and the post-credits scene is where ever the fuck eddie is at the moment. it smells like human and cold and icy hot, so obviously, he thinks, he died and went to hell like all the church ladies said he would back in hawkins, or probably just a locker room. what the fuck?

he blinks at the ceiling, at an interesting water stain on the cement texturing. he’s in the middle of wondering where the rest of his band has gone if he’s here alone, fucking abandoners, when a sweaty redhead with the bitchiest expression he’s maybe ever seen enters his field of vision.

“you’re alive,” she says.

eddie blinks again. “why do you sound so disappointed?”

“yo coach!” she shouts, already on the move away from him. “he’s alive!”

he tries to sit up, but that makes the pain in his head worse, and also draws attention to the fact that his back also hurts. he squeezes his eyes shut and makes a truly embarrassing noise of pain — if pressed, he’d call it a whimper — and a pair of big hands land on his shoulders.

“out, out ladies i got this! hey!, hey, man, don’t move just yet,” says big hands.

“yeah, no problem, i don’t want to anymore,” eddie says. he stirs up the will to open his eyes again and very nearly slams them back shut. because of course the person staring down at him is fucking coach hottie snackycakes himself. he’s even better looking in person, too, big droopy eyes, lips as pink as his bubblegum, and shiny, jesus christ. he’s still got eddie by the shoulders, hands warm through the thin cotton of his flannel and tee — because eddie’s always been more fashion than sense, wayne always said, and it’s even worse now that the paps are on him—

“oh, fuck this is gonna be all over tiktok later, isn’t it?” he moans.

“maybe not.”

“don’t lie.”

“listen, eddie — it is eddie, right?” asks coach hottie. “i’m steve. coach harrington. faughnsie — lottie, i mean — she said you’re eddie. her brother’s guitarist? what do you remember?”

“more like he’s my singer,” he says, “but sure. and not much.”

“well, you’re gonna be okay,” says coach hottie — steve. “it really wasn’t that bad, and it was probably too fast for anyone to get it, unless they already had a camera on you. you took a puck to the head when one popped up. i’d apologize but it wasn’t one of my girls who did it, so. anyway — you weren’t out for long, which robbie says is good — she’ll get a look at you in a second — but you got your bell rung pretty good. and you’re gonna have quite the shiner, trust me.”

“speaking from experience?”

“oh, yeah. closer and faster too.” he gently raps his head with his knuckles. “too many concussions too early ended my nhl days, in fact.”

“oh. oh shit, sorry, i—“

“don’t worry about it, man, it happens,” he says. “and if it hadn’t, i wouldn’t be here.”

“at the frozen four.”

“yeah, sure, that too.”

“what?”

“what?” steve waves him off. “anyway, i’m just glad to see you up, ish, and talking. looked pretty scary, from the bench.”

“i really don’t remember,” says eddie. “but i’m sure i’ll see it on tiktok later, like i said — at least, my unconscious, bleeding form.”

“i got up there pretty fast, so i doubt it,” says steve.

eddie blinks, twice. “you—?”

“you were behind my bench, and you. well,” he says with a shrug, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed, finally putting those hands away — weapons of eddie destruction, he thinks — and shoving them into his pockets of his tight slacks. “i should be getting back out there.”

“do you? you’re murdering them pretty good, unless i black out and missed them getting four more goals,” eddie says.

the corners of steve’s eyes crinkle when he smiles. eddie thinks he might just pass out again. “no, we’re still gonna cinch it, i think. looks bad, though — first time coach missing the final period so’s he can hit on the cute musician who got his clock cleaned by the biscuit.”

“oh,” he says. swallows. “uh.”

steve’s crinkly, smiley eyes go wide. “unless—“

“no less!” eddie shouts and then immediately winces. at a better, less damaging to his more than slightly concussed noggin, volume, he says, “more, actually. because pretty sure i shouldn’t be left unsupervised, and i’ve clearly been abandoned by the band, so—“

“so,” says steve.

“coach, two minutes!” someone calls.

“so, i was hoping maybe i could keep hitting on the hot hockey coach back at his?”

“i’m at the ramada inn,” he says, “and i got tape to watch for the finals.”

“i live for room service,” eddie tells him seriously. “and i’m suddenly very into wisconsin sports teams.”

“coach! go time!”

“yeah?” he asks.

“yeah.”

“COACH!”

he jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “i gotta — but, uh, later?”

“pick me up in twenty?”

“probably more like half an hour, with stoppage,” he says.

someone bangs on the door. “COACH!! let’s boogie!!”

with one last look, wide eyed and smiling, steve leaves. eddie watches him go. he’d heard hockey players were caked up but lord — eddie is about to convert to a new religion, or maybe found one, over the stretch of those slacks.

“damn,” he says quietly.

“gross,” a woman says. eddie startles and looks to the side, where a lanky brunette with a bob and an undercut is staring at him, unimpressed. she’s in some get up that screams athletic trainer, and there’s a white board in her hand.

“how long have you been there?” he asks.

she raises an eyebrow. “long enough, and honestly, i don’t know if that counts as a you rule for him, or a you suck for you,” she says and does not elaborate when he asks. ��also don’t look at him like that. it’s steve. he’s basically my sister.”

“yeah? any tips then?” asks eddie. “i promise i’ll only use them for good. well. mostly.”

“god,” she says with an expansive eye roll. “you’re gonna be a nightmare, aren’t you?”

a cheer goes up outside the room as the teams, presumably, take the ice again. eddie, head throbbing, concussed, embarrassed, grins. “sure hope so,” he says.

[munson-blurbs]

@corrodedcoffinfest Day 31: Your Song

Word Count: 553/Rating: T/Pairing: Eddie x Reader/CW: mention of drinking and drunkenness, cheesy fluff/Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth, Jeff, Grant, Reader, concert, fluff

Divider credit to @silkholland

1986

Week after week, The Hideout is always the same. The air reeks of stale cigarettes, the floor is sticky with spilled beer, and the audience is a meager crowd of five drunks. 

Eddie is so used to the monotony that he barely notices you, the sixth drunk in the crowd. 

Well, maybe you’re not drunk, but you’re certainly teetering on tipsy. Your hips sway to the beat of one of Corroded Coffin’s original songs, and Eddie knows from experience that no one listens to those. The only time the band ever gets a smattering of applause is when they tuck their tails between their legs and play Elvis or John Denver. 

But there you are, dancing like nobody's watching, a beer mug gripped tightly in your hand. Some of it sloshes over the rim, but you ignore it. You’re either new to Hawkins or visiting a relative, because he’s never seen you around before. Eddie briefly allows his mind to wander, considering any of the reasons that might have brought you to this hellhole of a town.

Eddie plays the final chord, stifling a chuckle when he sees you pout. Clearly, you aren’t finished dancing, but their set is over. 

“Good night, Hawkins!” Eddie shouts into the microphone, wincing at the feedback. “We’ll see you next—”

“Play Black Dog!” 

Your hands are cupped around your mouth, amplifying your voice in the tiny bar. 

Eddie blinks, taken aback. “We, uh, don’t usually do requests,” he starts, though he neglects to mention that it’s because no one ever gives them any. In fact, he’s pretty sure the other five patrons would request for the band to stop playing altogether. 

“Please?”

And, damn, if that doesn’t fill him with a sense of pride. He feels like a real rockstar, an audience member begging for another song. 

He looks around at Jeff, Gareth, and Grant, confirming that they know the song well enough to play it. 

“All right. Black Dog it is.” Eddie grins, taking a swig from his own beer. “Just for you.”

1996 

It’s still so new, so surreal: thousands of screaming fans, sold-out arenas, nights spent in swanky hotel suites bigger than his uncle’s trailer. Everyone in The Garden knows the lyrics to their songs, and they sing along with every word. 

Sweat drips from every pore, but Eddie remains unfazed. He stares out into the crowd and soaks in the feeling of success. 

We made it, he thinks. We really fucking made it. 

“Encore! Encore!”

The chanting breaks Eddie out of his introspective daze. Corroded Coffin plays the same song for every encore. Some might call it tradition, but the band prefers the term ‘satanic ritual.’ 

“All right!” Eddie laughs. “Now, we usually only play our own stuff…” He pauses for the audience’s reaction to the familiar introduction. Many of them say it with him, having been to multiple shows. “But rules were meant to be broken.”

The audience goes wild, and Eddie glances to where you’re standing in the stage wings. His eyes meet yours before dropping down to the diamond ring adorning your finger, made from the same white gold as his own wedding band.

And though he’s got a stadium full of people, he speaks directly to you. 

“Here’s your song, baby. Thank you for being my first fan.”

--

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

... And Back: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Summary: Knowing the Turner Brothers killed nearly one hundred people, the FBI, Detroit police, and the Canadian police work hard to figure out three things: Where is Kelly, who has been murdered here, and what will happen when Lucas is caught? That’s not the only thing you have to worry about as a nightmare is about to come your way.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"Who the hell are you people?" Mason demands to know.

"Are you Mason Turner?" you ask again.

"Dr. Turner."

Will takes out a picture of his sister and shows it to Mason.

"This is my sister, Lee Hightower. Has she been here?"

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Hotch," you whisper, "there's another unsub here."

"We're with the FBI. We've been invited by the RCMP to assist in an ongoing investigation," Hotch says.

"You haven't been invited into my home. My Canadian home. Now get the hell out before I call the proper authorities."

"Sir, we've been invited by the proper authorities."

"I want you out of my home. You don't have any right to be here!"

"Agent Rossi, Agent Hotchner, may I have a word with you, please?" Jeff asks and takes them to another room. You quickly follow them in a panic. "You said this would be the unsub."

"Everything points to him, Jeff."

"No, there's another unsub. Hotch, I feel so much Death that I think one of us is next. Something is going on here, but Mason didn't lay a hand on any of the victims. His partner did."

"Look, I let a suspect who tried to kill my border agents out of jail, a man who actually confessed to the crimes we're investigating because I believed you. You were wrong. There is no evidence there is a partner. Here's what's going to happen. I'm taking my prisoner back to the station, and you can all go home. Excuse me."

You need to get out of this house. You leave immediately and join Derek and Emily outside. There is a pig pen with a bunch of oinking pigs roaming around inside. You stop short in front of them with eyes wide as saucers filled with fear. Your stomach hurts enough for you to double over in pain.

"Y/N? What's going on?" Emily asks and walks over to you. "Are you okay?"

"No one is listening to me. There is so much death here... so many victims. Oh, God... The pigs... the pigs are eating the victims." You look away from the pig pen and notice over two dozen people standing next to a large wooden box that's on the outside of the barn. They're all staring at you without saying a word. "That box over there. What's inside of it?"

You gently push Emily off you and walk over to the box while staring at the two dozen people. One of them, you notice is Lee Hightower. You lower your head for a moment of silence for her. She's dead and she's never gonna see her brother or mother again. You take the end of your flashlight and lift the top up to see what's inside, and all twenty-four people mist away knowing they're gonna get justice.

"Oh, no," you gasp and cover your mouth. "Guys, I think we might be wrong about how many victims we have here." Derek and Emily walk over and peer inside. Over a hundred pairs of shoes are inside the box. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Hotch and Rossi walk out of the house, and you immediately jog over to them.

"Hotch, there's a box next to the pigs like a garbage bin or something. It's full of nothing but bloody shoes of all different sizes both male and female. We're not looking at ten missing people, we're looking at over a hundred."

Hotch orders JJ to stay inside with Will while Jeff, Rossi, and Hotch follow you back over to where Derek and Emily are.

"Did these belong to victims?" Jeff asks.

"Possibly."

"Why just the shoes? Where are the bodies?"

"You're not gonna find any bodies," you say.

"She's right," Spencer says from the pig pen. "Pigs are omnivores. They'll eat just about anything, and I mean anything."

Jeff is now convinced that there is more than one unsub. He has to let Will go knowing he didn't kill anyone. Yes, he'll get time for attempting to hurt border agents, but he didn't kill anyone. Will has no clue what is going on, but he is removed from the police car and out of the handcuffs Jeff slapped on his wrists.

"What is going on?" he asks.

"We're still not sure, William."

"Did you find my sister?"

"No, but do you know what kind of shoes she was wearing when she went missing?" you ask with a hint of tears in your eyes.

"Shoes? No--"

He sees the look in your eyes and makes the connection for himself. Tears form but he refuses to let them fall.

"Will, I'm so sorry," you whisper and walk away from him. You approach Hotch and Spencer while Rossi finishes talking to Jeff. "Is he alright?"

"He will be. He has every available cop in Ontario on the way here."

"Did you find anyone in the house?" Derek asks.

"Mason Turner."

"Is he in custody?"

"Not exactly. He's quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down. JJ's in there with him right now."

"Well, that's a pretty good criminal defense."

"I'll go talk to him," Rossi offers and heads to the house.

"Morgan, do you have the contact number for the Detroit Detective?"

"Yeah."

"We're gonna need their open missing cases so we can make identifications on this property."

"Right."

Derek walks away and dials the Detective. Then there were two.

"I think that laptop is his sole communications device which means data files on hard drives and records." Hotch calls Penelope. "Garcia, I need you in Ontario ASAP at the farmhouse that the unsub's car was registered to. We need forensic recovery from a laptop. I'll tell you more when you get here. I don't want this over the phone, and the next flight, Garcia." He hangs up. "Reid, will you let Bedwell know we're gonna need a warrant to examine the laptop with the hard drives?"

"Sure."

Then there was one.

"Y/N, how long do you think it would take for the pigs to... eat someone?"

"Depending on the size and condition of the body when it's placed in the pen, it wouldn't be quick. Why?"

"That means Kelly wasn't put in there. She's still here somewhere. Find her."

"Yeah, I can feel Kelly, but there are over a hundred victims here. How am I meant to separate them from her? It's going to be hard to pinpoint her location."

"Try," he sighs.

"Okay," you nod.

If you're going to find out where Kelly is, then you need to know more about Mason and this property. If there is another unsub here, you need to know about him. Mason has the answers you're looking for, so you walk inside the house to listen in on Rossi and Mason's conversation. JJ walks past you to go outside, and you close the door behind her. Rossi looks to see you've entered the room but doesn't say anything about it.

"Did something happen out there?" Mason asks.

"You know what we found."

"How could I? You see I'm paralyzed." Rossi starts moving the mirrors in the room to remove Mason's sight from the outside. You kind of figure he relies on them to see what's happening. "Hey, don't touch that!"

"You know exactly what's out there. You watched the whole thing."

"Put that back."

"You like watching, don't you?"

"This is not your jurisdiction."

"Oh, I'm not gonna arrest you."

He moves each and every one of the mirrors pointed at Mason.

"Stop that! You can't do this to me."

"I'm not doing anything to you. In fact, you don't even have to talk to me. As you said, I have no jurisdiction here, but almost every policeman in Ontario is on their way to this farm, and they do have jurisdiction. Some very bad things have happened here, and they're gonna discover all of it. Now, Mason, how many victims were here? A hundred? More? Do you even know for sure?"

"I need my mirrors."

"No. What you need is something to make you look less like the monster that we both know you really are."

"How can you call me that? I've never laid a hand on anybody!"

"Someone did," you pipe up. "He kidnapped Kelly and will kill her if you don't help us."

"How much time does she have, Mason? How much time do you have before I'm unable to say that you helped me?"

"It was my brother, Lucas. He's crazy. He did all of it. He did this to me, too. I wanted to try to stop him but how could I?"

"Why didn't you call for help?"

"I tried that once, but he found out. He beat me. He almost killed me. You don't understand what it's like to be completely vulnerable to someone who's capable of the things that he has done."

"Where is he?" you ask.

"Oh, I wish I could help you. I don't know what he does when he leaves me here."

"He has a young girl from Detroit with him."

"Then you should pray for her. There's a picture of him in the other room. It was taken years ago, but it still looks like him. I should warn you, he's crazy and very big. Inhumanly strong. When you find him, you should warn everyone that if they don't kill him first, he'll kill all of you."

"Rossi, a word?" you ask. You and Rossi go to the next room, and you keep your voice down so Mason doesn't hear. "Did he seem a little too eager to give his brother up? It seems to me like he wanted us to kill him first."

"Yeah, I got that same vibe."

"Lucas has Kelly here somewhere, and I have to find her before he kills her."

Sirens can be heard from down the long driveway to the road, and the closer they get to the farmhouse, the louder they are. You walk outside and join Jeff who has gathered everyone he knows to work on this case.

"The judge will sign the warrant for the laptop first thing in the morning."

"Our tech should just be getting here."

"We have search-and-rescue units coming. They're also our emergency response team, so they'll be armed in case we come across something."

"Y/N, what would you do in this situation?"

"Me?" you ask, surprised.

"You've shown great leadership skills. Keep it going."

"Alright, I think Derek should supervise the evidence collection. I bet these techs haven't seen anything like this before. When the press comes, it's going to be chaos. I think JJ and uniformed officers should create a press statement as well as talk to the families of the people who have gone missing."

"Come on, let's get you set up."

Jeff and JJ leave the group.

"We have a picture of what Mason's brother, Lucas, looks like. According to him, he's the unsub. Mason claims he's a victim himself, and he says he has no idea where Lucas would take Kelly. I think Spencer and I should focus on Lucas. It'll help us locate both him and Kelly. Finally, I think Emily should aid JJ in getting Lucas' picture out to the press. They're here, may as well put them to work. Someone has to notice a man that big."

Derek and Emily leave the group when they get their assignments.

"I wouldn't have done anything differently," Hotch smiles. "Though, you need to work on your confidence. A good leader assigns roles clearly and efficiently. You can't say 'I think', otherwise you'd have your team doubt your expertise."

"Yes, sir," you smile. "Thank you."

"Now, when you say 'according to Mason' and 'Mason claims to', what do you mean? It sounds like you don't believe him. What are your thoughts?"

"Oh, he's lying for sure. Mason is the dominant one. He tells Lucas what to do and how to do it. Look at the picture of Lucas. You can tell Mason is the one in charge."

"I agree with her," Rossi says. "He also said we shouldn't even try to talk to his brother. We should shoot first."

"That's either helpful advice or a way for half the team to clean up loose ends. Either way, this is one hell of a family."

Come morning, everyone started flocking out here. This place is crawling with a bunch of people including families here for their loved ones, officers and their Bloodhounds to track scents, Penelope to work on the computers inside since the warrant came through, and the press to get ahead of the story. JJ is working with the families and the press while Emily is working with the Bloodhounds to pass around the scent for Lucas.

Derek is overseeing the work being done by Ontario CSIs with the shoes, and there is a lot of them. They've laid them out on a purple sheet and begun gathering evidence from each pair. Hopefully, their DNA is on them so you know who is here. Will is off to the side just watching everyone. He's not doing too well knowing his sister is dead because of Mason and Lucas. He's pissed and emotional but he's not going to do something when they're agents and officers all around him.

You and Spencer have gathered some intel on Lucas based on what Mason has said and what you could find in journals inside the house.

"Hotch!" You and Spencer walk over to him. "Mason says his brother sometimes sleeps on the couch in the living room or disappears for days at a time."

"He doesn't have a room?"

"Not according to Mason."

"Keep looking around. They've lived here their whole lives. There's got to be something here that gives us an idea of who he is."

"Let's check the barn. Come on," you say to your boyfriend.

You walk through the big double doors and stop to take it all in. This is where Lucas would kill his victims and chop them up for the pigs to eat. There is a big wooden table where he'd put his victims, and a huge meat cleaver lying nearby. There are bodies lying on the floor; some of them are whole and some of them are cut up.

"Are you okay?"

"There are times when I'm so happy that you can't see what I see. This is one of those times."

"You'll be okay."

"I know," you nod.

In the back of the barn are medical supplies in the back of the room with jars of blood and other things floating around. You and Spencer put your gloves on so you don't contaminate the scene when you notice something flapping in the wind above you.

"Are those clothes?" you ask.

"This might be where Lucas sleeps."

There is a ladder that leads up to the second landing where there are a number of things that would suggest Lucas has made this his home. A makeshift bed, two enclosures with multiple rats inside, and a bunch of hand-drawn pictures in the corner. It looks like a kid has drawn them, not someone who is Lucas' age. Along with the pictures are stuffed animals, crayons, and other kid-like trinkets.

"Do you know what this reminds me of?"

"What?" Spencer asks as he studies the pictures.

"Of Mice and Men. Lucas is Lenny and Mason is George. If that's true, then Lucas is mentally ill. He won't be thinking straight."

"Look at this."

Spencer takes down a picture of someone lying in a bed with a red X where the throat is. This must be Mason.

"Reid? Y/N?"

"We're up here," you say and look down at Hotch from the railing. "We found out where Lucas sleeps."

"So, Mason was lying?"

"I find it hard to believe he didn't know his brother was living in the barn."

"Is there anything up there that's gonna help us find him?"

"Nothing yet. I will say this, I don't think he's psychotic. I think Rossi was right before. Mason might be cleaning up loose ends, i.e., his brother."

"There's a collection of drawings up here that suggest autism or moderate mental retardation," Spencer says. "Now, retardation and psychosis in the exact same subject is exceedingly rare. It's more likely he doesn't fully understand the acts that he's committed."

"Anything to suggest a violent nature?"

"Nothing in the drawings. They do suggest someone's been watching him. He's very childlike. I think that when we find him, he's gonna be scared and probably confused," you say.

"Do you think he'll fight?"

"I don't know, maybe. He might because he doesn't know what's going on. He's the kind of person you need to be very gentle with. Any sort of violence or guns will most likely make him act out," you say.

"Do you ever get the feeling that a case isn't going to end well?"

"All the time," you answer.

"Keep looking you two. This girl needs us."

"I have a feeling Mason and Lucas aren't going to make it out of this one," you say to Spencer.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

Time for some Grant (Freak) and Jeff headcanons!

I’ve been neglecting these sweet boys lately so here’s a few random tidbits I came up with for them…

Full name: Grant Raymond Alexander

Has four little sisters…

Lisa— same age as the Party. Doesn’t run in the same circles as them, because she’s a cheerleader and plays softball, but Grant asked her to kind of watch over El in school so Lisa made a point to befriend her.

Ida— same age as Erica Sinclair and they are sassy besties. Erica is constantly trying to get her to join Hellfire, but Ida doesn’t want to admit to Grant that she thinks something he likes is actually cool.

Annie— a couple years younger than Ida and Erica. She’s a shy little bookworm and often gets kind of lost in the shuffle of her big family.

Beth— same age as Holly Wheeler, they’re also besties. They terrorize Eddie on a regular basis by demanding he play beauty parlor with them and let them “style” his hair.

Grant’s dad owns some stuffy corporate accounting firm and he expects Grant to follow in his footsteps and join the family business. Grant is studying accounting at college, but he hates it and dreams of being a rock star or a pastry chef— or both! He wants to create beautiful things. (Full credit for the pastry chef idea goes to @moonchildreads - we ❤️ Donny!)

His dad also is the director of the church choir. Grant likes being in the choir but after spring break ‘86 he started enjoying church itself a lot less. He’s thinking of quitting but doesn’t want to disappoint his father.

Grant goes to the local community college because he wanted to stay close to home to help take care of his sisters— he didn’t think all the babysitting, cooking, etc should fall to Lisa just because she’s a girl.

Just because he’s chubby doesn’t mean he’s slow. Grant is super strong and agile. He played football during his freshman and sophomore years, but HATED the toxic attitude of the jocks and the constant pressure from the coach. When he didn’t come back to the team junior year, most of them viewed it as a betrayal. But they can’t bully him because he’s bigger and stronger than all of them.

Full name: Jeffrey Dean Collins

Middle kid of three, all brothers…

Julian— two years older. Star athlete who now coaches football at one of the state colleges.

Jonathan— two years younger. Total math and science nerd. Dustin calls him the smartest kid in the school (and is totally jealous of that fact).

Jeff is majoring in education, and his first year in college he did a minor in some music related field (producing or sound or something). He wants to be a music teacher. Initially he was thinking he could use what he learned to help corroded coffin make it big, but heard enough horror stories about trying to get into the music biz that he decided teaching would be just fine with him.

Jeff loves his brothers, but they’re all so different he feels like he has nothing in common with either of them. He also feels like the “underachiever” of the family since his talent isn’t in a school-related thing like sports or science.

However, Jeff does get along GREAT with his mom. Sometimes he feels like she’s the only person in his family he can actually talk to. They have the same wildly eclectic taste in music, both of them love reading, and she understands his moods better than anyone.

When Jeff and Eddie first decided to start Corroded Coffin, his dad and his brothers didn’t get it and were a little mean about it. “Why do you wanna play loud angry white music with that trailer trash boy”, etc etc. But his mom saw in Eddie the same thing she’d always seen in Jeff, that they were outsiders just looking for a place to fit in and a group to belong to, and she defended him. She informed the rest of the family that Jeff could make any kind of music he wanted, with any kind of people he wanted, as long as it made him happy. Eventually the rest of the Collins fam came around, and Jon even asked Jeff to teach him to play guitar.

If you have any headcanons for them you want to share with me, please feel free!!!

[merlinandarthuryup]

Okay so hear me out

what if there was a family guy episode where it starts out with all the characters in the kitchen (you know lois, stewie, peter, brain g, chris, meg) and theyre at the table eating breakfast when suddenly a bald eagle flies in through the window and grabs stewie by the head and squishes his soft spot. The bird flies hom out into the words where he finds a paper that says "find 8 pages and I will set you free" Stewies is PISSED OFF but he does it anyway because he wants OUT of those STUPID WOODS!!!!!! Pan back to the kitchen where Peter says "that was weird" Then eats a bunch of cupcakes. "hey whered these cupcakes come from?" he turns to the left and ITS PINKIE PIE?????? "Hey!" She says. "Follow me if you want more cupcakes!!!!" He follows only to get HIT BY A CAR WHILE CROSSING THE STREET??!?!?!!?!?! "Cant use roadkill for my cupcakes :(" Pinkamina frowns and goes back to the slender mansion with jeff the killer and sally and ticci toby. Back to the woods stewie is looking for those pages. HE's found seven when suddenly SLENDERMAN APPEARS???!!!!! "Ew god what are you? Your suit is outdated. Get better style gay ass" stewies says befroe passing out. Slenderman kills him on the spot. Back to the house lois gets a migraine and sees an amongus imposter???????? "I need to go lay down..." lois goes upstairs in her room where a boy skateboards through her window and she gets into an altercation with him?!?!?! Bleach gets thrown all over and vodka too. "Actin like a kid its just alcohol!" The bully says before lighting lois on fire. Lois burns and becomes Jeff the killer????!!!!!1 back down stairs chris says man i hope both our parents are okay ahaha -credits roll a=then fake out- cut back to the house meg smiles and stabs chris and says "I'm actually the imposter" And then unzips a big metal zipper to reveal a GORILLA SUIT UNDERNEATH HER SKIN???!!?!??! Chris is on the ground and distinigrates. -Credits roll, credits reverse, play back, do a three sixty spin, play in reverse, credits then play in full until a telephone ringing sound can be heard, cuts back to house- Meg gorilla picks up the phone, a man answers with "Hello? Hello hello, yeah this is the nightgaurd vincent calling from the slender mansion, we need you back here smile meg" Meg nods and unzips the gorilla suit to reveal shes SMILE DOG??!?!??!?! she runs back to the proxy creepypasta house and they all hug and slenderman made cookies yayy!!!! -credits roll play in full after credit scene- marvel deadpool talking to spiderman at a bar and theyre both changing lightbulbs -credits reverse pan back to the house- Brian girffin standing in horror as his whole family has died. He finished his breakfast though! "This reminds me of the time i was on good mythical morning" Brian said as it pans to the gmm hq where link, rhett, and link are filming a video and link says "rest in peace popsmoke..." braisn replied "res in peace who?" "popsmoke :(" Link replied. Cut back to the house, brian is dead and johnpork is standing over the body. -credits roll for real this time but play repeatedly for like at least an hour- The end -giraffe walks across screen "eee" "EEAAeeeaEUuuu" the end

[ashleygraceworld]

6 Most Underrated Al Pacino Movies

Al Pacino made awesome movies, but some really good ones didn't get enough attention. Here are the 7 underrated gems of Pacino that deserve more love.

From classic movies like The Godfather, Heat, to The Irishman, Al Pacino has been a big deal in the movie world for a long time. He's been in some of the best movies ever, and fans really love him.

But because he's been in so many movies, there are some that didn't get much attention or didn't get praised by critics, even though they're actually pretty good. So, here are some Al Pacino movies that not many people talk about, but you should definitely watch.

1. Donnie Brasko

Even though critics liked it when it came out, not many people talk about the movie "Donnie Brasco" these days. It's about a guy named Donnie who works secretly for the FBI and hangs out with a mafia hitman named Lefty, played by Al Pacino. As time goes on, Donnie becomes really good friends with Lefty, but he has to decide whether to tell on him to the FBI or go against them.

The movie is well-written, well-directed, and Al Pacino does an amazing job playing Lefty. Some folks say it's one of Al Pacino's best but doesn't get enough credit.

2. The Devil's Advocate

"The Devil's Advocate" is a movie where Keanu Reeves plays a lawyer named Kevin Lomax who joins a famous law firm in New York, led by Al Pacino's character, John Milton. The story gets pretty dark and confusing, but overall, it's a well-written movie with great acting. It also teaches us a lesson about how chasing money can make people forget about doing what's right. Even though it has some supernatural stuff, a lot of it is about real-life problems like greed, desire, jealousy, and anger.

3. Insomnia

Insomnia, a movie directed by Christopher Nolan and starring Al Pacino, is often overlooked but deserves more attention. It's about a detective named Will Dormer (played by Al Pacino) who goes to a small town in Alaska to solve the murder of a 17-year-old girl. As he investigates, he starts facing his own inner struggles and has to juggle both the case and his declining mental health. Insomnia is a lesser-known film by Nolan and is a must-see for fans of Al Pacino.

4. The Insider

The Insider is a gripping psychological drama that fans of this genre will really enjoy. Despite getting positive reviews from critics, the movie didn't become a big hit in theaters. It stars Russell Crowe and Al Pacino, who give outstanding performances that make it a must-watch.

The story of The Insider revolves around Jeff Wigand, a former employee of a big tobacco company, who turns to Lowell Bergman, a CBS journalist, to expose the shady practices of the tobacco industry. What follows is a nail-biting and intense series of events, with Wigand facing threats and warnings from the tobacco company. All in all, The Insider is a very well-crafted movie, featuring a standout performance by Al Pacino.

5. Panic In Needle Park

"Panic in Needle Park" is a movie about a guy named Bobby (played by Al Pacino) who's addicted to heroin and lives in an area full of other addicts. One day, he meets Helen, a homeless girl from the same area, and they fall in love.

Unfortunately, Bobby introduces Helen to heroin, and their love story takes a dark turn. They start doing bad things like stealing to get money for drugs. It's a really sad and tough movie to watch, but it's also a great film. Plus, it's the first movie where Al Pacino played the main character.

6. Dog Day Afternoon

Dog Day Afternoon is a really intense movie starring Al Pacino. In the film, Al Pacino's character, Sonny, and his two partners try to rob a bank in Brooklyn. But things go south fast when Sonny gets a call from the police, telling him the bank is surrounded. So, the bank robbery turns into a situation where they're holding people hostage, and Sonny is trying his best to figure out how to get out of there.

Even though the basic idea is simple, the story takes unexpected twists and turns. The movie is well-written, and Al Pacino and the rest of the cast give fantastic performances.

Go ahead and watch these if you haven't and let me know in the comments how you find them!

[dlea203]

The Seresin's - Part I

A/N: Welcome to the first part of my HC's for the Seresin's (aka Hannix😌)! This part is about the backstory of Jake's and Natasha's families, so the "OG-Seresin's" and the Trace's. There is a second part with my headcanons about Jake's and Natasha's own family. IMPORTANT NOTE: These headcanons are NOT canon! They're "my version" of Hannix, which differs from the version of other creators in the fandom.

Trigger Warning: mentions of suicide (nothing graphic though!)

A little general context first...

Phoenix’ age is based on Monica Barbaro’s age when the story takes place (which is in 2019), so Phoenix is 29 years old during the mission (though I've seen people complaining that the date on her Wikipedia-page is wrong😬😅? Anyway, I'm going with that one😅). Hangman’s age is based on my decision that he’s one year older than Phoenix, so he is 30 years old during the mission.

They’ve been flirting with each other since flight school, but they never acted on their interest. 

After the mission, Hangman realizes, that life is too short to push everyone away when they get close just to protect his bruised heart. So, he lets his colleagues in – slowly - but hey, small steps are still progress😉.

And well, Jake’s been through quite a lot already in his life…

He was 17 years old, when his 20-year-old sister, Caroline Seresin, committed suicide. 

Caroline was a ray of sunshine. She was an optimist through and through, full of life and always for fun. The kindest and most down-to-earth human Jake had ever known. But she was also very dutiful and a people pleaser, especially concerning their parents, Jeff and Nancy Seresin.

But the other way around, it wasn’t really true. Her parents weren’t interested in their daughter’s preferences, but in her taking over the oil company that’s been established by Jake’s great-grandfather. Therefor they sent her to business school.

Caroline didn’t want that. She wanted to study art and art history. Her dream job was running a gallery aside from selling her own paintings and traveling around the world. She was very talented, and her high school art teacher even wanted to recommend her for a scholarship. But her parents forbade that.

“That’s nonsense, Caroline. You can’t live off these scribbles. Besides, you should do something meaningful with your life, after all, you are very intelligent. Your place is here in Texas and taking over our company is the best for you.”

She tried to be the dutiful daughter she was, but she hated business school. After her first year, she’d failed some of her exams (though partly out of protest, too). When their parents learned that they threatened to lock her into her room until she passed all of her exams.

The pressure was too much for Caroline to handle, so she made that one decision.

That destroyed the already strained relationship between Jake and his parents. He blamed them for Caroline’s death (still does that to this day). They didn’t want to hear that and didn’t know how to handle the situation, so they drowned themselves in work.

Jake ran away to the Navy Academy as soon as he was able to. He didn’t talk to his parents for at least a year, before slowly reestablishing minimal contact. He never forgave them and most likely will never, but at least they’re able to spend time with each other in a room without ripping each other’s heads off.

But Caroline’s death hangs over the Seresin Family like a dark cloud and will most likely remain a rift between Jake and his parents.

Natasha grew up in a small town near San Francisco. 

She is the youngest child and only daughter of Harry and Valeria Trace. Her brothers are Ricardo, Armando, and Carlos. (Credits for inspo for these names goes to @myshipsaresunk and her Homesick/Christmas universe! I'm so sorry darling, but I had to partly copy those names, they are just so fitting😬🥺. I hope you're okay with this and that we're still good🥰).

Her mother is originally from Mexico but grew up in San Francisco. She has an older sister (Mariana) and an older brother (Diego).

When Valeria finished high school and went to college, her parents (Fernando and Rosalia) moved back down to Mexico. Mariana went with them and got married, Diego stayed in the US and moved to New York, where he still lives with his family as of today. 

Natasha and her family often visited her grandparents for Christmas or Easter.

Natasha’s father is a San Francisco native, but he never liked living in the big city. He has three younger sisters; in whose upbringing he was instrumental and therefor had a lot of responsibility from a young age. Both his parents were working hard to support the family; his father, John, owned a small garage and his mother, Helen, worked as a nurse.

Ricardo is married to Ashley Trace-Benson. They met through work when they both attended a conference for trustees. Ricardo and Ashley dated for two years before they got married. They have three kids. Lucia is the oldest and only girl, then follow Miro and Julio.

Armando is married to Sonia Trace-Castillo. They met in college and dated for about a year but ended their relationship due to different job offers. Sonia stayed in San Francisco, working as an editor for a magazine, Armando moved back to his hometown and got hired at the local newspaper as a journalist. But they couldn’t forget each other and reconnected two years after graduating from college. They got married pretty soon after rekindling their relationship and have four kids. Leandro is their first-born son, then come their two girls, Camila and Nina. Ernesto is the youngest.

Carlos’ girlfriend (future wife) is Leah Ferguson, they’ve been together since college. Carlos studied business and sports, aiming for a career as a sports journalist, and Leah studied business and medicine, aiming for a career as a sports doctor. Her dream job would be working for the San Francisco 49er’s, while Carlos would love to work for one of the big networks.

(At this point, I still haven’t decided whether they will have children or not… They’re both very busy with their careers and they have very hectic schedules, so it doesn’t really make sense for them to have children… it remains to be seen😌)

Natasha is very close with her family, including the wives of her brothers and Leah. And she’s the cool aunt who often tells the kids stories about her missions. Age appropriate and without any classified details of course😉.

[themovieblogonline]

TMNT: Mutant Mayhem Review - Do The Turtles Return With a Bang?

Get ready to join the beloved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in their latest animated escapade, "TMNT: Mutant Mayhem"! Directed by Jeff Rowe, this action-packed film bursts onto the screen with a visually stunning animation style. While some may draw comparisons to Sony's Spider-Verse films, "TMNT Mutant Mayhem" has its own signature flair, making it stand out in comparison to other animated films. This movie is a thrill as the turtles' begin their heroic journey to win the hearts of New Yorkers and be accepted as normal teenagers. Their journey takes an unexpected turn when they find themselves facing off against a mysterious crime syndicate and an army of menacing mutants. This movie is a fun adventure that's filled with pop cultural references, surprisingly contemporary slang, and an amazing rap music soundtrack that'll keep your head nodding from sta The Good: The animation in "TMNT: Mutant Mayhem" is really on point! Sure, some folks might compare it to the Spider-verse movies, but honestly, it's got its own unique visual flair that I totally dug. The movie is a colorful rollercoaster of action, and I was here for it! There are moments early in the film that show off the movie's dedication to having a great story. That great story helps ease you into the animation style and introduces us to our characters. The pop culture references and contemporary slang had me cracking up! The turtles using iPhones and even airdropping info with April was both hilarious and oddly relatable. I mean, who doesn't love a good tech-savvy turtle? The characters all look and sound great and do a good job of modernizing these old characters. They look good, they sound good, and they have great taste in music. The characters get great-looking updates to go along with their new animation, especially April O'Neil and Baxter Stockman. And can we talk about the music for a second? Specifically the rap music. It's the heart and soul of the movie! Gucci Mane and Bruno Mars bringing the beats in TMNT to make it Superfly! The entire soundtrack slaps, for real for real. Ice Cube's character Superfly barely seems like a villain and actually is really likable... until he goes full supervillain and changes everything. I really enjoyed his voicework as Superfly and what I presume he brought to the story with his dialogue delivery. There are so many good scenes with this character that it's hard to pick a favorite but if I HAD to then I'd say the whole bowling alley scene. Oh, and don't even get me started on that after-credit scene! Predictable? Maybe. But it's still everything you could hope for! It left me itching for more TMNT madness. The Bad: Now, let's address the elephant in the room - there is an action overload problem! There's so much happening on that screen, it's like a ninja hurricane! Don't blink, you'll miss some awesome moves... or even a sai to a dude's face! But hey, maybe a bit of toning down wouldn't hurt. There's a moment where Master Splinter, voiced by Jackie Chan, goes FULL Jackie Chan in the movie. Anyone familiar with Jackie Chan's action scenes knows how busy they can be. Add some squiggly line animation in the corner of the screen to go with the martial arts and its eyeball overload! Also, I couldn't help but wonder if I just forgot what actual 15-year-olds sound like? Some of these turtles were chattering like they were still in grade school! It's cool to be hip, but it can get irritating really fast to my millennial ears.  And speaking of being "hip," the black slang and Gen Z speak were a hit-and-miss for me. I mean, it adds flavor to the dialogue, but sometimes it felt a tad forced. I just can't decide if it's cool or cringe! Lastly, why does the movie have to be so short? I could've used a solid extra 10 minutes of turtle time. More action, more laughs, and more character development, please! If the movie has momentum, keep going! I get wanting to end on a high note but this feels wrong. Final Verdict: "TMNT: Mutant Mayhem" is a wild and outrageously fun ride that will please die-hard fans and entertain newbies. It's got its quirks, but that's what makes it fun. It's very different than the previous TMNT entries so grab your pizza and hit the theaters when it drops on August 2, 2023! Cowabunga, dudes!       Read the full article

[songbirdstyles]

baby

summary: you and harry figure it’s time for another baby. (or: breeding kink fic)

warnings: smut!! breeding kink. tad of fluff. 18+ pls

The blare of your phone’s alarm clock from your bedside table jolts you awake from the most magnificent dream you were having - reliving your honeymoon with Harry, taking your unconscious mind through the cities you’d visited and the things you’d seen. The streets of Italy, being bathed in sunshine at the beaches in the Bahamas, gazing up at the Eiffel Tower in France. It’s a memory you could bear to relive over and over again, and waking up doesn’t feel as jarring and depressing as it usually eo3w.

No, you woke up wrapped in Harry’s arms, feeling his even breathing against your back, his lips pressed to the back of your head. You fell asleep early last night, snuggled together watching a comedy special on Netflix, and he was out within minutes. His leg is slotted between both of yours and you can feel his morning wood against your back but you decide you’ll deal with that when he wakes up.

...which should be soon, as you reach over to turn off your alarm. He usually wakes up minutes after you leave his arms - which you do, now, sliding off the bed and padding to the bathroom - because he hates not sleeping next to you. It should be a problem but you find that you don’t mind - it’s not as though you hate having his arms around you, body pressed close to yours, listening to his soft snoring directly into your ear. (It used to bother you, but you’ve found that you quite like it now.) When he’s home, you two can’t get enough of each other, constantly having to be touching and falling asleep is no different. When he goes on tour he tries body pillows, weighted blankets, anything to alleviate his issue - but nothing compares to you in his arms.

Or Delaney, but Harry has always been vehemently against falling asleep with your 2 year old in your bed. Worried one of you will crush her during the night, or she’ll try and climb off the bed and fall (which has happened before, and you take the credit for it. But she was fine - toddlers are more durable than either of you thought) He’s always been the worrier of the two of you. He does, though, like holding her in his arms and cuddling with her while she naps, but he always puts her in her room when his eyes start to droop and he fears he’ll fall asleep.

As you take your morning pee and brush your teeth, you can hear his telltale morning groan from your bedroom that you’ve come to recognize throughout the years. A smile graces your face as you peek back into your bedroom, watching as he slowly sits up and squints out of the window at the morning rays on sunshine pouring into the room, then turns to make eye contact with you in the bathroom.

“G’morning, love,” he calls, voice raspy and deep like it always is in the morning. You can’t get enough of it. Just the tone of his voice like that is enough to make you want to jump him. “Is Laney up yet?”

You shrug, pausing to see if you hear her in her bedroom just across the hall. Generally when she wakes up before the both of you, you can hear her - her soft voice as she talks to herself. You pull your toothbrush from your mouth and lean over the sink to spit out your toothpaste. “I don’t think so. She’s starting to sleep in a bit more, I reckon. Doesn’t wake up at the crack of dawn every morning screaming her brains out, thank God.”

Harry chuckles, pressing his fists into his eyes as he yawns. “Didn’t think I would miss that too much.”

“You miss that?”

“Well, it’s not the thing I miss most about her being little, but…”

You take a swig of water and spit it back out, wiping your mouth off and padding back over to the bed. His hair is beyond messy, eyebrow hairs all up in different directions, and you swear you’ve never seen anyone so beautiful. He reaches out his hand to you immediately and you grab it, letting him pull you onto the bed. “Harry,” you laugh, feeling him tickle his fingers over your body. “She’s still very, very little.”

He hums, leaning down to press a kiss to the very tip of your nose. “Not very, very little. Just very little. But I miss her being very, very little.”

You roll your eyes with a grin, tugging on one of his curls. He yelps playfully, pressing his lips to yours and tugging on your bottom one ever so slightly before sitting back up. “I guess I do, too. I liked having a little baby. It was so surreal.”

“And scary.”

“And very scary,” you agree, sitting up onto your knees and crawling into his lap, straddling him with your arms around his neck. You bury your face into his neck, loving the feel of his arms wrapping around your waist, lips against your shoulder. 

For a moment you two just sit together, as close as you can possibly be, basking in the morning sunshine. Delaney always sleeps well on sunny mornings - when it storms, she’s up early, begging to sleep in your bed, and Harry always lets her, despite his qualms. He’ll stay awake for hours, watching his baby sleep, making sure she’s not scared. But when it’s nice and sunny, she sleeps well, and you cherish it.

Harry rests his chin on your shoulder, then, looking up at you with wide, twinkling eyes. “Baby.”

“Yeah?”

“I think we should have another baby.”

You pause, fingers freezing from where they’re combing through his tangled curls. “Harry,” you begin, voice soft, and he looks up at you with wide eyes. “I don’t know.” You don’t tell him why - because he’s doing so well in his career and you need all the help you can get with a toddler and a newborn - but he knows.

“No, no, honey.” he drops his hands to your hips. “I’m taking a break. I’ve arranged it with Jeff. A year long - maybe more. And even if we don’t get pregnant, I’ll still be here. With you and Laney, not in different countries, flying the pair of you out once a month. Because I don’t like that.” Then he pauses, squinting slightly. “I like seeing you guys, of course. But I know she doesn’t like flying, and you don’t like not having me home so I think -”

“Wait,” you interrupt him, placing your index finger across his lips. He puckers them, giving your digits a soft kiss. “You’re taking a break? For a year?”

“A whole year. And probably more.”

Slowly you breathe out, glancing up at the ceiling. You have been wanting to have the discussion about another baby but it had to be paired with asking for him to take a break but he did all that for you. So you move your finger from his mouth, a grin flashing across your face before you lean in, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Let’s have a baby, then.”

There’s not another moment of hesitation. He presses his hands against your cheeks and pulls you in for a searing kiss, tongues moving slowly against each other. You tangle your fingers in his messy curls, tugging just a bit and you can feel how much he likes it. It’s easy to get lost in the moment, just feeling his hands on yours and your hips slowly grind against his. You can pretend, briefly, like you have all the time in the world and you can just kiss for hours -

But the fact is, Delaney is asleep across the hall and you have no clue how long it’ll be until she wakes up. So you reach down and slide a finger through the slick slowly gathering in your panties. His hands slide to the top of your underwear, fingers rubbing at the lace fabric and you know what’s coming before he does it.

“Don’t you dare -” you warn, lips against the underside of his jaw, but it’s too late, and he tugs at the panties and rips them off.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, balling the fabric in his fist. He doesn’t sound all that apologetic, if you’re being truthful. “Can’t help it, love.”

“Better start helping it. I go through underwear like mad. The ladies at Victoria’s Secret must think I’m - I’m -”

Two of his fingers push themselves inside of you, scissoring immediately and hitting that spot right inside of you that you need. Your sentence crackles off into a moan, leaning in and pressing your lips to his neck, sucking hard enough to leave the dark purple hickeys that he loves and to keep your noises quiet.

Harry loves when you’re loud, and you love to be able to let every noise loose but both of you love Delaney being asleep more. When she’s at Anne’s or your mother’s for the night and you and Harry have the house all to yourself, though, the neighbors must think you’re being murdered with how loud you scream.

“The ladies at Victoria’s Secret think you’re what, hmm?” Harry speaks so casually, pressing his thumb against your clit with just enough pressure to make you squirm. 

“C - crazy. Crazy, probably.” your voice is barely above a breath, and you grind down on his fingers desperately. Hips roll against his hand, your breath coming out in soft pants.

He hums. “They’re just jealous - know they don’t have a man like me to please ‘em like this, right?”

Normally you’d roll your eyes at his cockiness but - well - he’s right. So you nod, nibbling on your bottom lip. “So right.”

You can practically feel the fuel igniting Harry’s ego, and he pulls his fingers out of your now dripping cunt - brings them up to your mouth and you open it eagerly, letting your tongue lap at your juices on his fingers. He loves when you do that, thinks it’s so fucking sexy. He stifles a groan watching as you wrap your lips around his digits, sucking slowly, maintaining eye contact before releasing them with a pop.

“God,” he mutters, leaning in to drag his tongue across your lower lip. “I fucking love you.”

“I fucking love you, too,” you tell him, reaching below you to grab his cock and align it with your pussy. You’re dripping enough that it doesn’t take much effort to slide onto him, loving the delicious fullness of it, how he hits every spot inside of you. The pair of you lock lips to stifle your groans and moans when he bottoms out, and when you pull away you look him in the eyes with a sickeningly sweet smile. “And I love fucking you.”

“Oh, god.” he laughs halfheartedly, bringing his hands down to knead your bum, letting you adjust to his size for a moment. His eyes squeeze shut as you pull off him and sink back down, the stretch nearly overwhelming you - like it always does. It doesn’t matter how many times you’re with Harry (and it’s been many, many times) he never fails to make you feel like it’s the very first. And now, with Delaney in the picture, you haven’t been having sex as much (though still significantly more than most people do without a kid.) Point being - you always need a minute to adjust to his size. “Oh, fuck, baby.”

Your lips suck another hickey into his neck, trying to muffle your desperate cries and whimpers as you sink up and down onto him, his hands on your ass helping set a steady pace. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the room, along with his occasional grunts as he thrusts his hips up into yours. Your nails dig into his back, hard and desperate and you know you’ll see the small crescent shaped marks in the shower later but you don’t care, and he doesn’t, either. He likes having marks of you on him - the hickeys on his skin and the marks on his body and he likes doing the same to you. He loves decorating your body with bruises and lovebites, watching them fade and then starting again.

“Know what I’m gonna do?” His voice is quiet and low, raspy. Mouth right by your ear. You have no choice but to listen. “I’m gonna fucking fill you up. Fill your - fill your pussy with my cum, force you to take all of it. I wanna watch it drip out of you and push it back in -”

You clench around him, sinking your teeth into his collarbone. 

“Fuck - and then - then I’m gonna do it again. Gonna fuck you again, so fucking fast and hard. Watch your belly swell with my baby.”

And his hand moves to your clit, pinching the small button and feeling you jump. You’re starting to slow down, legs growing tired but he won’t have that - he grabs your wrist and plants it on your clit, ordering you to make yourself cum, that’s a good girl - and grabs the back of your thighs, forcing you up and down.

You clench and unclench, clench and unclench, mouth opening in a silent scream as you finally reach your edge, tumbling over it and falling down the abyss of your orgasm. It’s desperate, your limbs tightening and body shaking, but Harry’s there - lips to your cheek - but he doesn’t let up, still forcing you up and down, forcing you to rock your hips, clit brushing against his pelvis. You’re already feeling the overstimulation but you won’t stop for anything.

“That’s a good girl, coming for me so good,” his voice slowly gets shakier as he speaks, like it always does in the seconds before he cums. “Want me to fill you up? Hmm? Want me to pump you full of my kids?”

You nod, a tear slipping down your cheek as he moves one hand to press your clit again. Staying silent and being fucked so good is a tragic duo but you wouldn’t have it any other way, now, because getting fucked so good and not waking up your baby is a beautiful duo.

“Tell me,” Harry hisses, nibbling on your earlobe. “Tell me how much you want it, how you want my baby. I need to hear it.”

Your legs tighten around his lap, jerking your hips into his hand, body exhausted from riding him for so long - all you want is to feel him release inside of you, to fill you up. “Please,” you beg, voice hoarse and desperate. “Wanna feel you cum inside me, baby, please, f - fill me up, get me pregnant -”

That’s all he needs to hear.

In a second you’re being flipped over onto your back, his hips pistoning into yours so fast you can hardly think straight - he grabs the headboard, the bed banging into the wall, and everything about being silent is forgotten. A loud moan falls out of your mouth and Harry is groaning, sweat beading up on his hairline. When his pace starts quivering again you finally let go for the second time - a more powerful orgasm overtaking you, from feeling Harry hit your sweet spot over and over, the thought of him filling you up enough to send you over the edge.

“Oh my god,” Harry groans, slamming his hips into yours and you can feel the warmth erupt inside your cunt, his head dropping down to yours as he finally releases inside of you. “Fuck, yeah. Take all my cum, babygirl.”

After a moment he pulls off of you and out of you, much to your dismay, but you’re much too exhausted to say anything to the contrary. He shifts down the bed and flops on his stomach, eye level with your cunt, legs spread wide for his viewing pleasure.

Your cheeks heat up as you look down at his amazed expression. He loves doing this, watching his cum seep out of you, and you’ll never understand. It’s almost embarrassing for you, but you know he loves it, so you reach down and trail your fingers through the cum dripping out of your pussy. You collect it on the tips of your fingers and push it back inside of you. When you pull your fingers out again you bring them up to your mouth, sucking his seed off your digits, and when you look back down into his eyes, they’re wide as saucers.

“You,” he begins, pushing himself onto his knees and grabbing your thighs to pull you toward him, “just earned yourself a round two.”

But the thought of a round two is interrupted by a loud sob piercing the air. You wince, dropping your head back onto the mattress with a groan. Of course, she’s awake - you two dropped the attempt to be quiet and you sorely regret it now.

“I got it,” he mutters, climbing off of you and heading to his dresser. As he grabs a pair of joggers and begins to tug them over his legs, he gives you a bright, cocky grin - “Besides, need you to be on your back so that baby sticks.”

[popculturebuffet]

The Owl House: Enchanting Grom Fright: Happy Valentine’s Gays

Happy Valentine’s Day owl ladies, gentleman and non-binary folks! It’s time to finish off this holiday in proper style with a LONG overdue review of enchanting Grom Fright and even longer overdue coverage of the Owl House.  The Owl House was one of the best debuts of last year if not THE best, only in contention because Close Enough also started last year and looks to surpass regular show in terms of quality. But with stunning animation, tons of representation, and colossal worldbuilding. And given how i’m on record for thinking Star Vs went so far down the tubes they bumped into where Cthulu is sleeping, it’s nice to have another magic based show that seems to be on the right track: carefully building i’ts world, supporting cast and for today’s topic main romance. It also rather than just obliquely hint one character was bi and the other pan, actually goes out of it’s way to have a bisexual protaginst with a gay love intrest. As my good friend @jess-the-vampire has brought up quite a bit, star had plnety of options. .but no willingness to actually campaign for any queer rep, the way Gravity Falls head Alex Hirsch tried to, he still gets credit for trying, and Owl House creator Dana Terrace gets full credit for. 

Terrace got her start working on Gravity Falls in line production before working her way up to directing for ducktales, being instrumental in how Webby was animated and how she moves and acts, and being the director for several classic season one episodes including “Woo-Hoo!”, “The Spear of Selene” , “Day of the Only Child!” which was one of my faviorites from season 1 and “The Beagle Birthday Massacre!”. And while I can’t 100% confirm she’s the only part responsible for starting Weblena, given she was director on an episode where a lot of the romantic subtext was in the visuals, she certainly helped so thank you Dana. Thank you a lot. Their adorable. Point is she’s a talented lady and wasn’t satisfied with directing, so she pitched her own show, combining tons of ides and stuff including of all things, Pokemon Red. I checked the article wikipedia had sourced, it was one of her happy childhood memories as it was one of the last things her dad gave her. Awwwwwww. That’s as sweet as it is painful. She’s also currently dating Alex Hirsch, something I was entirely unaware of but find also adorable. Point is i’m glad I looked into her as she’s a very nice person, and very much my kind of weirdo and i’m happy for her sucess and her singuarly weird show that sprung from that sucess. 

Now that part of it’s out of the way the episode itself was an uphill battle as you’d expect. As anyone familiar with this blog is aware, but just in case your new, you tend to hear me bitching about Disney’s handling of queer represntation a LOT

For the most part Disney’s pretty bad at it: There was the string of “FIRST GAY CHARACTER IN AN X” they had going for a while.. that consisted of a character I dind’t realize was gay, a kiss I didn’t see, and a talk with a character who I honestly wouldn’t of been looking for had disney not patted themselves on the back with some giant sized hands because htey saved some pym particles for that occasion. Ducktales was unable to have Penumbra come out as gay more clearly because I don’t know Ducks can’t be day.. but they can be IMPLIED to be gay or pansexual as hard as the crew possibly can so they win anyway. Pixar was able to have a gay lead character for one of it’s sparks shorts out and even focused on him coming out of the closet and it’s very good and something I WILL give Pixar credit for... but not Disney Plus who go out of their way to not mention the lead being gay.. despite the fact the short opens with a gay space cat riding a gay space dog out of a rainbow and then it being revaled our lead is in a relationship not long into the short. My point is the idiots who won’t watch this for having gay characters are just going to turn it off, who cares what they think, why are you like this Disney. They need to do better, and be better and i’m getting tired of this shit.

That being said... this episode is a step in the right directoin as despite having to get past one obstructive asshole, not her words but damn if it isn’t the truth, as the rest of hte execs were fine with having a gay character, Terrace fought hard for it and WON, having a clearly gay character, and a clear road to a gay romace as the lead one, all because she wanted some representation in her works. So to honor this, I present this review in honor of love, effort and saying screw you to not having represntation because money. Join me under the cut and allt hat. 

We open in the owl house, in the owl house, duck dodge push and shove, it’s how we show our love in the.. you get the point. Luz is learning yet another Rune, this time plant runes.. and already something I love about the series pops up: the fact Luz’s rise in skill is gradual but noticable. Each spell noticably improves in potency with time,  going from simple lights to shaping them into simple constructs, and learning to control or time her spells and glpyhs so they launch she she says so, with each one getting more powerful the more she learns. And on top of that osmething I just noticed on rewatch of this episode is her tecnique in finding them evolved, something I dind’t notice the first time because I hadn’t fully caught up and checked this one out to see if Disney would actually let them go through with it.. and they did. Point is her first spell is found by accident, her second by realizing how her magic works fundemntally, both require skilled deduction and on the fly thinking and casting, so she’s already pretty skilled.. but now sh’es ACTIVELY seeking out a new spell here for the first time. She knows how she gets them, she knows each school is tied to a form, and she likely got the plant from williow since that’s her thing and she’s a saint. A demon but also a saint. They can have those too. It’s what I assume relicor is. 

I miss that goblin demon bat man. Point is it shows an evolution in Luz’s thinking: while it’s a subtle thing she took a more proactive approach this time even if it took a lot of practice.. and it pay soff as by the time of her next rune, while it’s once again sorta handed to her she has less time to learn it, almost none, and finds it singed onto a ball.. and learns it effortlessly to the point where by the next episode it’s a crucial plot point. IT’s subtle but clever character progression, and stuff I really enjoy, showing our hero going from a bit inept but not helpless or incomptient.. to a force to be reckconed with and far more clever and strategic than yo’ud expect given her sometimes reckless and almost always happy go lucky attitude. 

Luz worries teaching King about the internet was a bad idea because he gets excited about a literal cat fight which .. yeah... it was a bad idea but not because of that.. but because next he finds someone saying the earth is flat and she wisely yanks it away. It’s.. very sad that the absolutley maddening and easily debunked flat earth theory is still RELATIVLEY more sane than the stuff we’ve had pop up during the trump era and the cornoavirus pandemic. 

But one of the main conlficts of the episode pops up as Luz’s mom messages her and Luz can’t bring herself to tell her anything and just sends a thumbs up.  I do think this episode helps even things from the pilot a bit as it was a bit lopsided: While I got that Camillia was genuinely struggling with how to deal with Luz, and was offered an out and had to take it... the fact she sees NO problem with the normalcy camp, which comes off intentioanlly or not a sa parallel to conversion camps or camps to make autistic kids “Normal”. And as someone whose both bisexual and autistic, I naturally relate to luz way more as someone whose intrests sometimes just don’t quite fit with everyone else, and who dosen’t get how bad some of their actions were.  THat’s why this episode feels like a necessary course correction: Luz is shown to genuinely love her mama and feel guilty.. but we see camilia genuinlely loves and supports her daughter a bit more. While it was clear from the pilot this shows it more, with her genuinely just wanting to know her daughter’s okay and checking up on her, and giving me the feeling that possible consequences or no if something bad WAS happening or she didn’t hear from her for a long time, she would’ve drove up there to get her. It feels like the writers realized the implications they accidently created and wanted to fix it, though I can’t say for certain. But if so good on you for course correcting, not every show does that. 

But King encourages her, telling her she’s doing the right thing by lying and to “trust the demon on your shoulder”. Keep this in mind for later, but that joke is great on it’s own. But soon i’ts time for school and Hooty.. barfs out Luz’s books for her. 

I haven’t been this disturbed since.. (Looks at the clock) About 2 maybe three hours ago when I watched a man have, if apparently shorter than the oriiginal cut as I wanted to see everyone else’s reactions dammit, sex with hiis car which was possesed by the mad ghost of his dead wife. Because that’s the kind of stuff i’m into when i’m not reviewing stuff. And before that Tinky.. just everything about tinky. 

I do not have enough time to get into TInky here or why he exestially horrifies me. Or why Jeff blim is a living god. I will save that for a proper review if I have the time tomorrow. Point is I saw a lot today and that still tops it. Willow and Gus are likewise grossed out and want to leave. 

Cut to school where Luz wonders what’s with all the decorations.. that remind me of this honestly

And frankly given the whole state of the boiling isles it REALLY wouldn’t surprise me if the decorations were indeed well cooked faces. But i’ts Grom time, which means elaborate gromposals (Some Dude asks Skara out with a beating heart and an elaborate medical proposal.. which.. points for effort. And for using an actual heart. Couldn’t get one for mine. ), dancing and someone being chosen for Grom Queen. WHich Willow hints isn’t as nice as that sounds. Before we can get into that though Amity bumps into them and gets into a tizzy before meekly greeting “Luz.. and Co”. which.. not going to lie.. is my faviorite gag of the season. Just htw way she adds them and just the way Willow and Guz both smile widely at it as if to say “That’s us!”. Amity drops a note and snatches it back. This will be important later, you all know why, point is Amity becomes Grom Queen.. and is heavily depressed with Luz following her to find out why.  At the gym.. she does indeed ifnd out why: Turns out Grom is not some mutation of an earthname but is based around a horrifying entity lurking beneath the isles, Gromethious the Fear Bringer, who emerges from his slumber once a year and must be fought back and brings out his target’s greatest fears. Just like groundhog day only with less time loops and rodent abuse. Amity is scared of hers, and i’ll obviously get into this more later, and Luz simply suggests asking bump to opt out and Amity appricates the support. Awwww. 

Luz heads home and we find out Eda is chaperoning and King is mcing. Eda is also rocking a suit. Just damn girl, damn. But Luz considers taking her place.. and gets laughed at, with Eda assuming she’ll have to save her and King just being kind of a dick. I mean he’s a loveable thoroughly cuddly dick but he’s still a dick... just more like a stuffed plushie of one.  So basically exactly like Tinky. Look I mention him more than once in this review he dosen’t put me in the bastard box. It’s a great system.  Naturally this makes Luz more determined than ever to prove herself and she finds Amity in the night, with Amity having been unable to get out of it.. and Bumps a resonable guy, he just wants a substitute and no one wants the job.. except Luz who galdly volunteers and insists ntohing scares her before the giant spider on the back of her head proves otherwise. Because of course it does, spiders are fucking terrifying. Kill then all.. except the pokemon ones. Galvaltula are sweethearts. As are Ariadoses. Sweethearts who can elctorcute or poison you but still. 

So the next way Luz begins preparing.. and by that I mean it’s time for training. Sadly we don’t get an episode of Luz and Amity getting trapped in an 80′s fashion montage... I mean yes Rise of the TMNT also did that plot the same year, but we had two diffrent plots about someone getting trapped in an eldtrich sitcom and a THIRD this year, all entertaingly unique. Though we do get Luz pulling out an otter suit that’s adorable and she sadly still hasn’t worn yet. “This one says i’m an otter, with a dark side”. She also got thrown out of a school dance for.. wearing an otter suit. Okay the other things we saw in the pilot were understandable but htis is just.. baffling. Who cares what you wear to a dance as long as it isn’t horribly racist of nothing at all. 

Damn you flanders and your glorious ass. Point is Amity shows up and threatens hooty’s life because.. he’s hooty. The fact he isn’t dead already is a testiment to how badass he is and how much money he’d cost Eda to replace. Owl Tubes don’t come out of a stygian hole in the unvierse every day you know. That’s only every three years. It’s basic styigan owl tube science. 

But Amity wants her to be ready and that she’ll have to face her greatest fear.. and cue hooty popping up, poking amity in the face and asking if she wants to know her greatest fear. Really he can clearly hear everything in the house given he heard that, so he heard the death threat he just chose to ignore it. That.. was a mistake. And by mistake I mean we get a hilarious cut to the outside of the house as Luz tries to stop her love intrest from murdering her second mom’s tube monster. The result is some bandages and an eyepatch. To be fair that last one was just flaring up from a  previous beating. 

For this solem task of training, Amity has brought in her local disaster bisexuals.. aka her twin siblgins Eldric and Elmyra, whose greatest fears are dying alone and being stuck with Eldric. Both understandable. They conjur luz’s greatest fears which are.. some of the funniest shit I heard all year.. and also very relatable. Human souls in cat bodies, which is genuinely terrifying good job Luz, Jerks on the internet who mansplain things, relatable, and soy milk. 

But Amity knows this is just the openign act. it needs to be something deeper.. so while Luz dosen’t realize it’s probably her mom issues she brings up her issues with her other mom: that Eda dosen’t think she can do this. Hence we get a giant eda putting Luz in a babychair. Before we can unpack how wrong that sentence sounded, Eda comes out, and marvels at how hot giant her is. But she’s quickly distracted from sex with a giant version of herself, which is not an easy feat, by the relization “Wait Luz is going to fight grom isn’t she.. fuck i’m going to have to save her”, though Luz holds firm on doing it to prove she’s fine and dosen’t need to be saved constantly. it’s a good conflict. Eda IS right that Luz is not ready for this alone, that she’s overcompensating and that Eda would, in normal circumstances be the one to rescue her. As we’ll see it’s not her who does it but still, were this any other foe she probably would be. But Luz’s motivations are equally understandable: She wants to help her friend not have to do this and she wants to prove she can do it. She just wants her mentor, the only person in her life up to meeting her that GNEUINELY supported her in magic to respect her. To have faith in her and actually see how far she’s come. And given how her own mother writes off her dreams, if not unrealistically, and before this she had no friends or support system to speak of outside her mom, it’s easy to see why this is so improtant to Luz: she just wants to make the one person in her life whose ever support her actually think it was worth it when in truth Eda already thinks it does and just dosen’t want her to die. 

She’s just not good with talking to her or not condescending to her as her own ego is stacked sky high, probably because the whole curse thing meant Eda was an outcast by default and the system wants to either chain her to one form of magic and one only or shackle her to them as a hired goon. Her ego, while justified, is also a defense mechanism: a way to shield herself from the fact almost no one cares about her and one of the few people who DOES, dosen’t care what she wants or needs. Once the curse happened she lost just about everything and had to rebuild and thus build up walls around herself and kept everyone else at arms length till Luz changed her for the better. It’s just a tragic clash of two wills both with similar problems but both unwilling to talk about them. 

But with time up, our heroes need to get to the diggity dance. So they indeed do and we get some fun sight gags, Willow makes corsages,  that one girl with the cresent head somehow ended up with Mathomule and is not happy, as anyone who ends up with him should. And it’s time for Luz to face her destiny.. in a tux with a tutu because of course, and Amity likes it because also of course. 

IT’s time to rumble, with King getting nervous due to eda’s prodding about mcing since his co-mc gus is really good at it, and introducing our champion.

No wait sorry he’s still trapped in Mojoworld. no it’s still Luz who shows off a seasons worth of skill by easily dispatching the first few fears and saying to grom let’s finish it.. before grom puts a tentacle on her head. 

It’s to downlaod her fear.. which is Camillia. Granted we could all see it coming but still Luz obviously can’t fight her own mother or her own overwhelming guilt.. her mom did hurt her.. but she gets why and just loves her and wants her to be proud but dosen’t know what to do: tell her the trutha nd possibly loose a happy and fufilling life or wait until it all blows up. It’s a painful choice. So luz and king end up running. King runs first because he can’t handle it and Gus talks him back into the groove while Luz runs away because she can’t fight her own mom, understandable, and Gus encourages king to lead the crowd which he does. Amity and Eda follow Luz. 

So Luz is backed down, facing down a monster tha’ts going to go on to everyone else next if she fails... and Eda prepares to interfere.. but it’s AMITY who faces her fear and dives in. And we find out just what her fear was as grom turns into a humanoid shape and rips the letter in half.. it was a grom invitation. Though conviently the who it’s adressed to was ripped out. 

And yeah not going to save this one: It’s Luz. You know it I know it I didn’t even hide it in the intro. Even before the reveal in a bit it was obvious. But it also makes perfect sense. I’ve avoided talking about her character arc up to this point because I was waiting for now. Amity’s growth is the third major arc of the season behind Luz’s slow learning of magic and eventually induction into hexside and eda’s curse, which I lump in with Lilith chasing her since both were mildly entertwined and then entirely are once the reveal hits in the finale. When we meet her she’s an outright bully.. but we slowly see there’s more there. That she’s not really HAPPY or content, is contstantly under pressure by her family name, is outright bullied by her own siblings who don’t understand her. So Luz coming in, seemingly only being intrested in magic because i’ts neat.. understandably bothers her. She’s not a great person, bullying her old best friend because tha’ts what’s expected and being close with outright bullies because of that.. but it’s through Luz she starts to grow, realizing Luz is genuinely nice and genuinely sorry for any trouble she caused Amity, and evne then both cases were causaed by Amity’s own dickishness and outside forces, so it’s easy to see why she defrosts faster. Her siblings realize they’ve genuinely hurt her, and actually try to be good siblings from then on and help her, and slowly Amity learns to truth luz, trust in her, and accept her... and thus accept her feelings for her. There are gradual hints she’s growing attracted to her.. but her walls had to come down first, and it wouldn’t of worked from the outset. The show cleverly has the two build a genuine friendship, two opposities who work well together, so when feelings do happen it feels natural. It’s not “I’m in love with this person because I have to because you can’t be friends with someone your attracted to” bullshit or anything like that, cough star vs cough, it’s just well built catching feelings. I’ts how this kind of thing SHOULD go: niether went in intending for this to happen.. it’s just happening. 

And Amity’s reluctance is painfully understandable, as Luz is the ONLY friend and support she has. Sure she and willow are patching things up, but WIllow would understandably choose luz over her and she’s terrified of loosing the one good thing in her life. Of course Luz would either say yes, and probably will some day, or let her down gently, she’s nice.. but it’s also understandable to be afraid that someone won’t take the reveal well. I’ve been there trust me, it’s easier when you let it out even if you get rejected, but I get it being hard to let out because you don’t want to loose a friend. I did not, and niether would she, but I can see why she wouldn’t want ot take the plunge. At least not yet. We’ll see this summer hopefully. 

But we do get a shiptastic, gorgeously aniamted scene of the two dancing an fightin gin perfect synch, combinging luz’s new use of plant magic with amity’s mastery of abominations resulting in the two utterly decimating grom, likely in part because with two fast moving targets he can’t get a lock on and likely nees more fear and mass to attack multiple targets at once. Or just more tendrils. it’s a quick, beautful sequence that’s utterly glorious, being framed as romantic as any hetero scene of the type and rightfully so. A triumph and well deserving of this praise. 

Our heros have won, get crowns, and King gets praise. All is well.. except Luz drops the crown once she gets home because she feels like she failed and feels lost about her mom.. though at least king gets it “I’m king and queen, best of both things!”. You tell em sister. 

So we end with Luz genuinely responding to her mom, with some montage stuff as we see Gus and Willow poke a fear blob, willow fears bugs, understandable and Gus fears clowns... 

Also understandable. Though I didn’t put up a bug picture because

And Amity looks out folornly into the night. Camilla responds to Luz.. and mentions letters.. which while Luz brushes those off.. we see someone sent them. And by someone I probably mean king since we now know only eda and him had acess to the portal, and given he was actively encouraging her to lie.. yeah i’m supscious. But we’ll see next season. For now this episode is fan fucking tastic, showing off tons of character development, being representative and sweet as all hell.. and being really funny. Tons of great gags in this one including the turtle guy from an earlier episode being forced to be adisco ball.  This is easily the series best so far and if you haven’t checked it out, please do it’s fantastic as is this show. Check both out. Until the next rainbow i’ts been a pleasure. Tommorow more disney shenanigans this time with pete. And also more of this possibly we’ll see what I get done. 

Goodnight everybody!

[izcana]

“Darling, I’m Home!”

Disclaimer: I do not Teen Wolf. That credit goes to Jeff Davis. The only thing I own is the plot line. Enjoy! If I'm being honest here I might as well mention that I've never watched a single episode of Teen Wolf (:p) but I've read plenty of fanfiction about it and I did some research on fandom about the plot – hopefully, it's enough! It's canon-divergent anyway so I don't think it'd be that big of a deal but if anything (vital)'s wrong, please tell me so I can fix it straight away!

***

"When are you going to tell them you're married?" Laura asked after dodging yet another crowd of fans. "You can't go on like this forever, you know." Laura was probably right. She's always right. Yet Derek couldn't do it. Separating his personal life from his acting career was the best solution and he was standing by this. Derek felt bad for Stiles, his lovely mate, at home all alone and caring for the precious pups in his stomach. Despite all this...

"I can't, Lo," Derek mumbled, opening the door to the Camaro.

"Why not, Derek?" She demanded, pulling the door angrily, though not with her full force, of course. Being an Alpha wolf meant that she could have ripped the door off its hinges. "Cora announced her marriage to Scott a couple of months ago and she's doing just fine. Plus, if you tell them you're mated, the fans will leave you alone. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"It is, okay, Laura?" Derek glared at the window, pouting at nothing. He hit the horn, though it felt more like a tap to his Alpha senses. "Cora's...different."

"For your information, Der, she's also a very sought after actress. And don't go on saying how you're more popular than she is."

"I wasn't going to," Derek replied simply, rolling his eyes.

Laura flipped her hand dismissively and glared into her phone. Derek scowled at the car in front of him and beeped his horn.

"At least talk to Stiles about this, Derek," Laura implored, her eyes softening at the mention of the said Omega. There was practically no one in the Hale family who disliked Stiles; Talia dubbed him the most adorable little boy and though he wasn't the "ideal" Omega, no one (who mattered, at least) cared and loved Stiles all the same. Derek felt a wave of shame run over him once he remembered how much he's been neglecting the pregnant little were-fox. "He'll probably want you to stay with him. He's pregnant, Derek! Start thinking a little about your mate, shall we?"

"I am, Laura," Derek denied, though he agreed that he really ought to pay more attention to Stiles.

"Your heartbeat skipped. You agree with me, so stop lying!" Laura scolded. Derek silently cursed Alpha werewolf hearing.

"Whatever, Laura, I'll think about it." And that was that. End of the conversation.

***

Derek fumbled for the keys of his apartment, having finally shaken Laura off. "Darling, I'm home!" He called into the loft. Blank silence followed.

Derek wasn't too worried about it since he could hear his mate's heartbeat beating peacefully in the background and the peaceful smell of Stiles. Under normal circumstances, Stiles would already be awake since were-fox hearing was very sensitive (Derek could think about a million other things that were sensitive about his mate but that's beside the point) despite the fact that the bedroom was soundproofed. It only worked for were-wolves and were mainly for the benefit of the Hales, who dropped by at some of the most absurd times. However, after the pregnancy was discovered, Stiles had been sleeping a lot more and he seemed tired every day (not that Derek could blame him).

He stepped into the loft quietly, making sure to drop off his shoes next to the door as his mate had apparently cleaned the hallway earlier today, even though Derek had told him time and time again not to tire himself out – it wasn't good for the baby. Stiles refused to listen, though. Stiles was Stiles.

Perhaps, Stiles might actually listen to him when the pups are almost due...

He tip-toed around the enormous leather sofa Talia had insisted they get and into their shared bedroom. He took off his clothes carefully and stealthily walked to the washroom, turning the shower console to low so it wouldn't disturb Stiles, even though Derek was certain he'd wake soon if he hadn't woken already.

By the time Derek wrapped a towel around his waist and crept into his bedroom to get his clothes, Stiles was already awake, his slightly red-rimmed and puffy amber eyes staring sleepily back at Derek, nonetheless alert. "When did you get back?"

"Half an hour ago," Derek murmured gently. Stiles nodded and stretched, showing off the beautiful milky white skin and the swollen stomach that was full of Derek's pups. Derek and Stiles' pups. "Do you want anything to eat?" Derek now knew from experience that Stiles was always hungry and came up with the most peculiar food combinations.

"Yes, please," Stiles answered predictably. "Can you get some gherkins with whipped cream?" That was one of the "favourites".

Derek went to get the said "favourite". When he came back, Stiles was on the phone.

"Huh? Oh, that. Pause. No, no, he hasn't told me. Pause. Who told you? Pause. Oh, typical. Pause. I'll ask him. Pause. I'm wonderful, thanks. Pause. Bye, Cora! Visit whenever you want!"

"What did Cora want?" Derek asked, setting the cup of herbal tea and the plate of gherkins with whipped cream on the table.

"She told me that you and Laura talked about your career," Stiles said, scarfing down the gherkins. "When were you going to tell me?"

Knowing fully well that lying to Stiles was impossible (were-fox hearing and Stiles being Stiles) he admitted "Never."

"That's what I thought. Cora seemed to think so, too."

"Do you want me to?" Derek asked softly.

"Honestly? This is selfish of me, but I do. I wish you'd be around for my pregnancy. By the pace we're going at now, you won't even be there for the birth!" Stiles cries, and to Derek's horror, promptly burst into tears. He clutched at Derek weakly, as if willing for him never to leave again but not having the strength to stop him.

"It's not selfish, Honey, you're allowed to feel what you feel," he murmured softly into Stiles's peach-scented hair.

"But..b-but..." Stiles stuttered.

"But nothing. If that's what you want, Sweetheart, I'll tell my boss tomorrow to put me on paternal leave."

"I don't want to get in the way of your work, Alpha." That's when Derek knew Stiles was completely gone. He only called Derek "Alpha" if he was in heat or upset. "You seem to like acting so much, I didn't want to slow you down," he added pathetically.

"You're my mate, Stiles," Derek said, sighing. "You don't 'slow me down', you inspire me. Where did you get that idea? I love you."

"You're a movie star! Why are you still with me? You can get someone so much better," Stiles moaned sadly, clutching his stomach when the baby started kicking at his kidneys.

"Listen. I love you, only you, never anyone else, okay?" Derek said, staring straight at Stiles, who was avoiding his eyes.

"Okay," Stiles whispered, his eyes shining with tears. One slipped out and Derek wiped it away. "I believe you."

***

Should I keep doing a/b/o stories? Please tell me in the comments – I've been very interested in a/b/o recently but I didn't know whether I was good at writing it? If you want me to, I can definitely continue; practice makes perfect!

There will be a sequel in response to requests on Archive of Our Own.

Epilogue 

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 1)

30.  BODY CAM – in the face of the ongoing pandemic, viral outbreak cinema has become worryingly prescient of late, but as COVID led to civil unrest in some quarters there were a couple of 2020 films that REALLY seemed to put their finger on the pulse of another particularly shitty zeitgeist.  Admittedly this first one highlights a problem that’s been around for a while now, but it came along at just the right time to gain particularly strong resonance, filtering its message into the most reliable form of allegorical social commentary – horror.  The vengeful ghost trope has become pretty familiar since the Millennium, but by marrying it with the corrupt cop thriller veteran horror screenwriter Nicholas McCarthy (The Pact) has given it a nice fresh spin, and the end result is a real winner.  Mary J. Blige plays troubled LAPD cop Renee Lomito-Smith, back on the beat after an extended hiatus following a particularly harrowing incident, just as fellow officers from her own precinct begin to die violent deaths under mysterious circumstances, and the only clues are weird, haunting camera footage that only Renee and her new partner, rookie Danny Holledge (Paper Towns and Death Note’s Nat Wolff), manage to see before it inexplicable wipes itself.  Something supernatural is stalking the City of Angels at night, and it’s got a serious grudge against local cops as the increasingly disturbing investigation slowly brings an act of horrific police brutality to light, until Renee no longer knows who in her department she can trust.  This is one of the most insidious scare-fests I enjoyed this past year, sophomore director Malik Vitthal (Imperial Dreams) weaving an effective atmosphere of pregnant dread and wire-taut suspense while delivering some impressively hair-raising shocks (the stunning minimart sequence is the film’s undeniable highlight), while the ghostly threat is cleverly thought-out and skilfully brought to “life”.  Blige delivers another top-drawer performance, giving Renee a winning combination of wounded fragility and steely resolve that makes for a particularly compelling hero, while Wolff invests Danny with skittish uncertainty and vulnerability in one of his strongest performances to date, and Dexter star David Zayas brings interesting moral complexity to the role of their put-upon superior, Sergeant Kesper.  In these times of heightened social awareness, when the police’s star has become particularly tarnished as unnecessary force, racial profiling and cover-ups have become major hot-button topics, the power and relevance of this particular slice of horror cinema cannot be denied.

29.  BLOOD QUANTUM – 2020 certainly was a great year for horror (even if most of the high profile stuff did get shunted into 2021), and this compellingly fresh take on the zombie outbreak genre was a strong standout with a killer hook.  Canadian writer-director Jeff Barnaby (Rhymes for Young Ghouls) has always clung close to his Native American roots, and he brings strong social relevance to the intriguing early 80s Canadian setting as a really nasty zombie virus wreaks havoc in the Red Crow Indian Reservation and its neighbouring town.  It soon becomes clear, however, that members of the local tribe are immune to the infection, a revelation with far-reaching consequences as the outbreak rages unchecked and society begins to crumble.  Barnaby pulls off some impressive world-building and creates a compellingly grungy post-apocalyptic vibe as the story progresses, while the zombies themselves are a visceral, scuzzy bunch, and there’s plenty of cracking set-pieces and suitably full-blooded kills to keep the gore-hounds happy, while the horror has real intelligence behind it, the script posing interesting questions and delivering some uncomfortable answers.  The characters, meanwhile, are a well-drawn, complex bunch, no black-and-white saviours among them, any one of them capable of some pretty inhuman horrors when the chips are down, and the cast, an interesting mix of seasoned talent and unknowns, all excel in their roles – Michael Greyeyes (Fear the Walking Dead) and Forrest Goodluck (The Revenant) are the closest things the film has to real heroes, the former a fallible everyman as Traylor, the small-town sheriff who’s just trying to do right by his family, the latter unsure of himself as his son, put-upon teenage father-to-be Joseph; Olivia Scriven, meanwhile is tough but vulnerable as his pregnant white girlfriend Charlie, Stonehorse Lone Goeman is a grizzled badass as tough-as-nails tribal elder Gisigu, and Kiowa Gordon (probably best known for playing a werewolf in the Twilight movies) really goes to the dark side as Joseph’s delinquent half-brother Lysol, while there’s another memorably subtle turn from Dead Man’s Gary Farmer as unpredictable loner Moon.  This was definitely one of the year’s darkest films – largely playing the horror straight, it tightens the screws as the situation grows steadily worse, and almost makes a virtue of wallowing in its hopeless tone – but there’s a fatalistic charm to all the bleakness, even in the downbeat yet tentatively hopeful climax, while it’s hard to deny the ruthless efficiency of the violence on display.  This definitely isn’t a horror movie for everyone, but those with a strong stomach and relatively hard heart will find much to enjoy here.  Jeff Barnaby is definitely gonna be one to watch in the future …

28.  THE MIDNIGHT SKY – Netflix’ big release for the festive season is a surprisingly understated and leisurely affair, a science fiction drama of big ideas which nonetheless doesn’t feel the need to shout about it.  The latest feature in the decidedly eclectic directorial career of actor George Clooney, this adaptation of Good Morning, Midnight, the debut novel of up-and-coming author Lily Brooks-Dalton, favours characterisation and emotion over big thrills and flashy sequences, but it’s certainly not lacking in spectacle, delivering a pleasingly ergonomically-designed view of the near future of space exploration that shares some DNA with The Martian but makes things far more sleek and user-friendly in the process.  Aether, a NASA mission to explore K-23, a newly-discovered, potentially habitable moon of Jupiter, is on its return journey, but is experiencing baffling total communications blackouts from Earth.  This is because a catastrophic global event has rendered life on the planet’s surface all but impossible, killing most of the population and driving the few survivors underground.  K-23’s discoverer, professor Augustine Lofthouse (Clooney), is now alone at a small research post in the extreme cold of the Arctic, one of the only zones left that have not yet been fully effected by the cataclysm, refusing to leave his post after having discovered he’s dying from a serious illness, but before he goes he’s determined to contact the crew of Aether so he can warn them of the conditions down on Earth.  Despite the ticking clock of the plot, Clooney has reigned the pace right in, allowing the story to unspool slowly as we’re introduced to the players who calmly unpack their troubles and work over the various individual crises with calm professionalism – that said, there are a few notable moments of sudden, fretful urgency, and these are executed with a palpable sense of chaotic tension that create interesting and exciting punctuation to the film’s usually stately momentum, reminding us that things could go suddenly, catastrophically wrong for these people at any moment.  Clooney delivers a gloriously understated performance that perfectly grounds the film, while there are equally strong, frequently DAMN POWERFUL turns from a uniformly excellent cast, notably Felicity Jones and David Oyelowo as pregnant astronaut Dr. “Sully” Sullivan and her partner, mission Commander Adewole, and a surprisingly subtle, nuanced performance from newcomer Caoilinn Springall as Iris, a young girl mistakenly left behind at the outpost during the hasty evacuation, with whom Lofthouse develops a deeply affecting bond.  The film has been criticised for its slowness, but I think in this age of BIGGER, LOUDER, MORE this is a refreshingly low-key escape from all the noise, and there’s a beautiful trade-off in the script’s palpable intelligence, strong character work and world-building (then again, the adaptation was by Mark L. Smith, who co-wrote The Revenant), while this is a visually stunning film, Clooney and cinematographer Martin Ruhe (Control, The Keeping Room) weaving an evocative visual tapestry that rewards the soul as much as the eye.  Unapologetically smart, engrossingly played and overflowing with raw, emotional power, this is science fiction cinema at its most cerebral, and another top mark for a somewhat overlooked filmmaking talent which deserves to be considered alongside career highs such as Good Night & Good Luck and The Ides of March.

27.  PALM SPRINGS – the summer’s comedy highlight kind of snuck in under the radar, becoming something of an on-demand secret weapon with all the cinemas closed, and it definitely deserves its swiftly growing cult status.  You certainly can’t believe it’s the feature debut of director Max Barbakow, who shows the kind of sharp-witted, steady-handed control of his craft that’s usually the province of far more experienced talents … then again, much of the credit must surely go to seasoned TV comedy writer Andy Siara (Lodge 49), for whom this has been a real labour of love he’s been tending since his film student days.  Certainly all that care, nurture and attention to detail is up there on the screen, the exceptional script singing its irresistible siren song from the start and providing fertile ground for its promising new director to spread his own creative wings.  The premise may be instantly familiar – playing like a latter-day Saturday Night Live take on Groundhog Day (Siara admits it was a major influence), it follows the misadventures of Sarah (How I Met Your Mother’s Cristin Miliota), the black sheep maid of honour at her sweet little sister Tala’s (Riverdale’s Camila Mendes) wedding to seemingly perfect hunk Abe (the Arrowverse’s Superman, Tyler Hoechlin), as she finds herself repeating the same high-stress day over and over again after becoming trapped in a mysterious cosmic time-loop along with slacker misanthrope Nyles (Brooklyn Nine Nine megastar Andy Samberg), who’s been stuck in this same situation for MUCH longer – but in Barbakow and Siara’s hands it feels fresh and intriguing, and goes in some surprising new directions before the well-worn central premise can outstay its welcome. It certainly doesn’t hurt that the cast are all excellent – Miliota is certainly the pounding emotional heart of the film, effortlessly lovable as she flounders against her lot, then learns to accept the unique possibilities it presents, before finally resolving to find a way out, while Samberg has rarely been THIS GOOD, truly endearing in his sardonic apathy as it becomes clear he’s been here for CENTURIES, and they make an enjoyably fiery couple with snipey chemistry to burn; meanwhile there’s top-notch support from Mendes and Hoechlin, The OC’s Peter Gallagher as Sarah and Tala’s straight-laced father, the ever-reliable Dale Dickey, a thoroughly adorable turn from Jena Freidman and, most notably, a full-blooded scene-stealing performance from the mighty J.K. Simmonds as Roy, Nyles’ nemesis, who he inadvertently trapped in the loop before Sarah and is, understandably, none too happy about it. This really is an absolute laugh-riot, today’s more post-modern sense of humour allowing the central pair (and their occasional enemy) to indulge in far more extreme consequence-free craziness than Bill Murray ever got away with back in the day, but like all the best comedies there’s also a strong emotional foundation under the humour, leading us to really care about these people and what happens to them, while the story throws moments of true heartfelt power at us, particularly in the deeply cathartic climax.  Ultimately this was one of the year’s biggest surprises, a solid gold gem that I can’t recommend enough.

26.  THE LAST DAYS OF AMERICAN CRIME – Body Cam’s fellow heavyweight Zeitgeist fondler is a deeply satirical chunk of speculative dystopian sci-fi clearly intended as a cinematic indictment of Trump’s broken America, but it became far more potent and prescient in these … ahem … troubled times.  Adapted by screenwriter Karl Gadjusek (Oblivion, Stranger Things, The King’s Man) from the graphic novel by Rick Remender and Greg Tocchini for underrated schlock-action cinema director Olivier Megaton (Transporter 3, Colombiana, the last two Taken films), this Netflix original feature seemed like a fun way to kill a cinema-deprived Saturday night in the middle of the First Lockdown, but ultimately proved to have a lot more substance than expected.  It’s powered by an intriguing premise – in a nearly lawless 2024, the US government is one week away from implementing a nationwide synaptic blocker signal called the API (American Peace Initiative) which will prevent the public from being able to commit any kind of crime – and focuses on a strikingly colourful bunch of outlaw antiheroes with an audacious agenda – prodigious Detroit bank robber Bricke (Édgar Ramiréz) is enlisted by Kevin Cash (Funny Games and Hannibal’s Michael Carmen Pitt), a wayward scion of local crime family the Dumois, and his hacker fiancée Shelby Dupree (Material Girl’s Anna Brewster) to pull off what’s destined to be the last great crime in American history, a daring raid on the first night of the signal to steal over a billion dollars from the Motor City’s “money factory” and then escape across the border into Canada.  From this deceptively simple premise a sprawling action epic was born, carried along by a razor sharp, twisty script and Megaton’s typically hyperbolic, showy auteur directing style and significant skill at crafting thrillingly explosive set-pieces, while the cast consistently deliver quality performances.  Ever since Domino, Ramiréz has long been one of those actors I really love to watch, a gruff, quietly intense alpha male whose subtle understatement hides deep reserves of emotional intensity, while Dupree takes a character who could have been a thinly-drawn femme fetale and invests her with strong personal drive and steely resolve, and there’s strong support from Neil Blomkampf regulars Sharlto Copley and Brandon Auret as, respectively, emasculated beat cop Sawyer and brutal Mob enforcer Lonnie French, as well as a nearly unrecognisable Patrick Bergin as local kingpin (and Kevin’s father) Rossi Dumois; the film is roundly stolen, however, by Pitt, a phenomenal actor I’ve always thought we just don’t see enough of, here portraying a spectacularly sleazy, unpredictable force of nature who clearly has his own dark agenda, but whom we ultimately can’t help rooting for even as he stabs us in the back.  This is a cracking film, a dark and dangerous thriller of rare style and compulsive verve that I happily consider to be Megaton’s best film to date BY FAR – needless to say it was a major hit for Netflix when it dropped, clearly resonating with its audience given what’s STILL going on in the real world, and while it may have been roundly panned in reviews I think, like some of the platform’s other glossier Original hits (Bright springs to mind), it’s destined for a major critical reappraisal and inevitable cult status before too long …

25.  BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC – one of the year’s biggest surprise hits for me was also one I was really nervous about – the original Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and its just-as-good sequel Bogus Journey have been personal favourites for years, pretty much part of my geeky developmental DNA during my youth, two gleefully dorky indulgences that have, against the odds, aged like fine wine for me over the years.  I love Bill and Ted SO MUCH, so like many of the fans I’ve always wanted a third film, but I knew full well how easy it would have been for it to turn out to be a turd (second sequels can be tricky things, and we’ve seen SO MANY fail over the years).  God bless Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves for never giving up on the possibilities, then, and for the original screenwriters, Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon, for writing something that does true justice and pays proper respect to what came before while fully realising how much times have changed in the TWENTY-NINE YEARS that have passed since Wyld Stallyns last graced our screens.  Certainly times have moved on for our irrepressible pair – in spite of their convictions, driven by news from the distant future that their music would unite the world and usher in a new era of peace and prosperity, Bill and Ted have spectacularly failed to achieve what was expected of them, and they’ve grown despondent even though they’re still happily married to the Princesses and now the fathers of two wonderful girls, Billie and Thea (Atypical’s Brigette Lundy-Paine and Ready Or Not’s Samara weaving).  Then an emissary from the future arrives to inform them that if they don’t write the song that unites the world TODAY, the whole of reality will cease to exist.  No pressure, then … it may have been almost three decades, but our boys are BACK in a riotous comedy adventure that delivers on all the promises the franchise ever made before.  Winter and particularly Reeves may have both gone onto other things since, but they step back into their roles with such ease it’s like Bill and Ted have never been away, perfectly realising not only their characters today but also various future incarnations as they resolve to go forward in time to take the song from themselves AFTER they’ve already written it (a most triumphant and fool-proof plan, surely); Lundy-Paine and Weaving, meanwhile, are both absolutely FANTASTIC throughout, creating a pair of wonderfully oddball, eccentric and thoroughly adorable characters who would be PERFECT to carry the franchise forward in the future, while it’s an absolute joy to see William Sadler return as Bogus Journey’s fantastically neurotic incarnation of Death himself, and there are quality supporting turns from Flight of the Conchords’ Kristen Schaal, Anthony Carrigan, Holland Taylor and of course Hal Landon Jr., once again returning as Ted’s grouchy cop father Captain Logan.  The plot is thoroughly bonkers and of course makes no logical sense, but then they’re never meant to in these movies – the whole point is just to have fun and GO WITH IT, and it’s unbelievably easy when the comedy hit rate is THIS HIGH – turns out third time really is the charm for Matheson and Solomon, who genuinely managed a hat trick with the whole trilogy, while there was no better choice of director to usher this into existence than Dean Parisot, the man who brought us Galaxy Quest.  This is the perfect climax to a trilogy we’ve been waiting YEARS to see finally completed, but it’s also shown a perfect way to forge ahead in new and interesting ways with the next generation – altogether, then, this is another most excellent adventure …

24.  TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG – Justin Kurzel has been on my directors-to-watch list for a while now, each of his offerings impressing me more than the last (his home-grown Aussie debut, Snowtown, was a low key wallow in Outback nastiness, while his follow up, Macbeth, quickly became one of my favourite Shakespeare flicks, and I seem to be one of the frustrated few who actually genuinely loved his adaptation of Assassin’s Creed, considering it to be one the very best video game movies out there), and his latest is no exception – returning to his native Australia, he’s brought his trademark punky grit and fever-dream edginess to bear in his quest to bring his country’s most famous outlaw to the big screen in a biopic truly worthy of his name. Two actors bring infamous 19th Century bushranger Ned Kelly to life here, and they’re both exceptional – the first half of the film sees newcomer Orlando Schwerdt explode onto the screen as the child Ned, all righteous indignation and fiery stubbornness as he rails against the positions his family’s poverty continually put him in, then George MacKay (Sunshine On Leith, Captain Fantastic) delivers the best performance of his career in the second half, a barely restrained beast as Ned grown, his mercurial turn bringing the man’s inherent unpredictability to the fore.  The Babadook’s Essie Davis, meanwhile, frequently steals the film from both of them as Ellen, the fearsome matriarch of the Kelly clan, and Nicholas Hoult is similarly impressive as Constable Fitzpatrick, Ned’s slimily duplicitous friend/nemesis, while there are quality supporting turns from Charlie Hunnam and Russell Crowe as two of the most important men of Ned’s formative years. In Kurzel’s hands, this account of Australia’s greatest true-life crime saga becomes one of the ultimate marmite movies – its glacial pace, grubby intensity and frequent brutality will turn some viewers off, but fans of more “alternative” cinema will find much to enjoy here.  There’s a blasted beauty to its imagery (this is BY FAR the bleakest the Outback’s ever looked on film), while the screenplay from relative unknown Shaun Grant (adapting Peter Carey’s bestselling novel) is STRONG, delivering rich character development and sublime dialogue, and Kurzel delivers some brilliantly offbeat and inventive action beats in the latter half that are well worth the wait.  Evocative, intense and undeniable, this has just the kind of irreverent punk aesthetic that I’m sure the real life Ned Kelly would have approved of …

23.  MUST MERCY – more true-life cinema, this time presenting an altogether classier account of two idealists’ struggle to overturn horrific racial injustices in Alabama. Writer-director Destin Daniel Cretton (Short Term 12, The Glass Castle) brings heart, passion and honest nobility to the story of fresh-faced young lawyer Bryan Stevenson (Michael B. Jordan) and his personal crusade to free Walter “Johnny D” McMillan (Jamie Foxx), an African-American man wrongfully sentenced to death for the murder of a white woman.  His only ally is altruistic young paralegal Eva Ansley (Cretton’s regular screen muse Brie Larson), while the opposition arrayed against them is MAMMOTH – not only do they face the cruelly racist might of the Alabama legal system circa 1989, but a corrupt local police force determined to circumvent his efforts at every turn and a thoroughly disinterested prosecutor, Tommy Chapman (Rafe Spall), who’s far too concerned with his own personal political ambitions to be any help.  The cast are uniformly excellent, Jordan and Foxx particularly impressing with career best performances that sear themselves deep into the memory, while there’s a truly harrowing supporting turn from Rob Morgan as Johnny D’s fellow Death Row inmate Herbert, whose own execution date is fast approaching.  This is courtroom drama at its most gripping, Cretton keeping the inherent tension cranked up tight while tugging hard on our heartstrings for maximum effect, and the result is a timely, racially-charged throat-lumper of considerable power and emotional heft that guarantees there won’t be a single dry eye in the house by the time the credits roll.  Further proof, then, that Destin Daniel Cretton is one of those rare talents of his generation – next up is his tour of duty in the MCU with Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings, and while this seems like a strange leftfield turn given his previous track record, I nevertheless have the utmost confidence in him after seeing this …

22.  UNDERWATER – at first glance, this probably seems like a strange choice for the year’s Top 30 – a much-maligned, commercially underperforming glorified B-movie creature-feature headlined by the former star of the Twilight franchise, there’s no way that could POSSIBLY be any good, surely? Well hold your horses, folks, because not only is this very much worth your time and a comprehensive suspension of your low expectations, but I can’t even consider this a guilty pleasure – as far as I’m concerned this is a GENUINELY GREAT FILM, without reservation. The man behind the camera is William Eubank, a director whose career I’ve been following with great interest since his feature debut Love (a decidedly odd but strangely beautiful little space movie) and its more high profile but still unapologetically INDIE follow-up The Signal, and this is the one where he finally delivers wholeheartedly on all that wonderful sci-fi potential.  The plot is deceptively simple – an industrial conglomerate has established an instillation drilling right down to the very bottom of the Marianas Trench, the deepest point in our Earth’s oceans, only for an unknown disaster to leave six survivors from the operation’s permanent crew stranded miles below the surface with very few escape options left – but Eubank and writers Brian Duffield (Spontaneous, Love & Monsters, Jane Got a Gun, Insurgent) and Adam Cozad (The Legend of Tarzan) wring all the possible suspense and fraught, claustrophobic terror out of the premise to deliver a piano wire-tense horror thriller that grips from its sudden start to a wonderfully cathartic climax.  The small but potent cast are all on top form, Vincent Cassel, Jessica Henwick (Netflix’ Iron Fist) and John Gallagher Jr. (Hush, 10 Cloverfield Lane) particularly impressing, and even the decidedly hit-and-miss T.J. Miller delivers a surprisingly likeable turn here, but it’s that Twilight alumnus who REALLY sticks in your memory here – Kristen Stewart’s been doing a pretty good job lately distancing herself from the role that, unfortunately, both made her name and turned her into an object of (very unfair) derision for many years, but in my opinion THIS is the performance that REALLY separates her from Bella effing-Swan.  Mechanical engineer Norah Price is tough, ingenious and fiercely determined, but with the right amount of vulnerability that we really root for her, and Stewart acts her little heart out in a turn sure to win over her strongest detractors.  The creature effects are impressive too, the ultimate threat proving some of the nastiest, most repulsively icky creations I’ve seen committed to film, and the inspired design work and strong visual effects easily belie the film’s B-movie leanings.  Those made uneasy by deep, dark open water or tight, enclosed spaces should take heed that this can be a tough watch, but anyone who likes being scared should find plenty to enjoy here.  Altogether a MUCH better film than its mediocre Rotten Tomatoes rating makes it out to be …

21.  PENINSULA – back in 2016, Korean director Yeon Sang-ho and writer Park Joo-suk took the tired old zombie outbreak trope and created something surprisingly fresh with their darkly satirical action horror Train to Busan.  The film was, deservedly, a massive international smash hit and a major shot in the arm for the sub-genre on the big screen, so a sequel was inevitable, but when the time came for them to follow it up they did the smart thing and went in a very different direction.  Jettisoning much of the humour to create something much darker and more intense, they also ramped the action quotient right up to eleven, creating a nightmarish post-apocalyptic version of Korea which has been quarantined from the rest of the world for the last four years, where the few uninfected survivors eke out a dangerous day-to-day existence amidst the burgeoning undead hordes, and the value of human life has plummeted dramatically.  Into this hell-on-earth must venture a small band of Korean refugees, sent by a Hong Kong crime boss to retrieve a multi-million dollar payday in stolen loot that got left behind in the evacuation, led by former ROK Marine Corps Captain Jung-seok (Secret Reunion’s Gang Don-won), a man with a tragic past he has to make up for.  Needless to say, nothing goes according to plan … Train to Busan was an unexpected masterpiece of the genre, but I was even more bowled over by this, particularly since I got to see this on the big screen on Halloween night itself, just before the UK cinemas closed down again for the Second Lockdown. This certainly is a film that NEEDS to be seen first on the big screen – the fully-realised hellscape of undead-overrun Seoul is spectacularly immersive, the perfect cinematic playground for the film’s most impressive set-pieces, two astounding, protracted high-speed chases with searchlight-and-flair-lit all-terrain vehicles racing through the dark streets pursued by tidal waves of feral zombies. Sure, the plot is predictable and the tone gets a little overblown and maudlin at times, while some of the characters are drawn in decidedly broad strokes, but the breathless pace rarely lets up throughout, and there are moments of genuine fiendish genius on offer here, particularly in a truly disturbing centrepiece sequence in which desperate human captives are set against slavering undead in a makeshift amphitheatre for sport, as well as a particularly ingenious use for radio-controlled cars.  And the cast are brilliant, with Don-won providing a suitably robust but also pleasingly fallible, wounded hero, while Hope’s Lee Re and newcomer Lee Ye-won are irrepressibly feisty and thoroughly adorable as the young girls who rescue him from certain death among the ruins.  Altogether, this is horror cinema writ large, played more for thrills than scares but knuckle-whitening and brutally effective nonetheless, and in a year where outbreak horror became all too real for us anyway it was nice to be able to enjoy something a little more escapist anyway – given the strength of its competition in 2020, this top-notch sequel to a true genre gem did very well indeed to place this high.  I’ll admit, I wouldn’t say no to thirds …

[vsquadgoals]

jeff straight razor smut? just an idea

Okay... I’ll be honest I don’t know what this means but this is what I’ve got. 

Y/n lived in Staten Island with her older brother Nick, he was about 7 years older than her. She’s lived with him ever since their mom decided that she was too much of a burden to take care of. Nick owned his own barbershop called True Gents where she’s been working reception since she was 15, she was now 19 and Nick would show her some things here and there letting her practice on his bald head when the stubble would start to grow back. Nick also taught her how to do facial hair which included the terrifying straight razor that she avoided at all costs. Y/n loved the barbershop and always wanted to follow in her brother’s footsteps and one day take over the shop for him so she was constantly practicing on whoever would let her and she was always watching when she wasn’t busy. Nick also had an apprentice that he had taken under his wing after getting into some trouble with the wrong crowd, Jeff. He was about 2 or 3 years older than Y/n but they’re known each other forever at this point and had become very close friends.  

Y/n had recently started cosmetology school and was taking classes at night, while juggling her duties at the shop during the day. Nick was very proud of y/n and the work ethic that she has when it comes to the shop and her schoolwork. Y/n was sitting at the front desk doing some homework in the shop, it was a pretty slow day today and Nick was working with a client. Jeff leans up against the desk smirking at Y/n “Hey Y/n/n.” Y/n looks up at him and smiles. “Hey love, I didn’t realize you were coming in today.” She says closing her books giving him her full attention. Nick was always teasing the two of them telling them to stop flirting with each other which always left Y/n blushing and embarrassed, she’s had a crush on Jeff since she met him, but they were friends and that’s it. “Yeah I wasn’t supposed to, but I was kinda hoping that you would clean me up and do my face.” Jeff says giving her puppy dog eyes. Y/n bit her lip looking at him, he always knew how to get his way with her. “Are you sure? You know I’m not 100% confident yet.” She had done Jeff’s hair a couple times and cleaned up his beard, but she hadn’t done it in a while. Jeff waves her off and shakes his head. “Come on I trust you. You also don’t give yourself enough credit, you’re so fucking talented.” Jeff comes around the counter and grabs Y/n’s hand pulling her from the chair. “I’ll hold the phone just in case, plus Nick is almost done with his client and he can answer it.” Y/n sighs and nods. “Fineeee. I’ll set up go sit.” She says nudging him toward a chair before grabbing her supplies from her bag and setting them up on the station next to where Jeff is sitting.  

Jeff watched her so closely, almost her every move trying to be discrete about it but someone always noticed, except her. He’s had feelings for Y/n after working at the shop for a while and actually got to know her. When he was first introduced to her by Nick, she was just the receptionist and Nick’s little sister, but then he got to know her. He got to see how incredibly sweet and caring she is, how funny, silly and hardworking she is, her passion and love for everything she does. She was the most beautiful girl in the world to him. Y/n draped the cape over his shoulders fastening it around his neck. “Just clean it up, the back and sides are too long and the top needs a little bit off.” he says looking at her through the mirror and then shakes his head. “You know how I like it y/n/n.” She giggles and nods before getting started.  

Jeff watches her in the mirror while she works. “How are you doing with your classes?” he asks, he was so proud of her for deciding to go and get her license, her and Nick had a vision for the future of True Gents and Jeff was so excited and proud of them. She smiles widely continuing to work on the fade, “Amazing. Ugh Jeff I love it so much.” She looks at him through the mirror smiling happily, causing Jeff to smile. “I’m glad.” he hums. Y/n turns her attention to his hair cutting and blending, Nick now made his way over to them and was watching her but not too closely, he knows she knows what she’s doing at this point.  

Nick and Jeff talked about stuff while y/n cut his hair, it was now time for her to clean up his facial hair and Nick was sitting in the back room. Y/n ran her fingers through Jeff’s hair and looks at him through the mirror. “Hair good?” She asks her voice low and soft since they’re the only ones in the front of the shop. Jeff was obsessed with the feeling of her fingers in her hair, he hums and nods looking back at her. She smiles happily and nods once before grabbing the shaving gel and applying it around the edges of Jeff’s beard and taking out the straight razor looking at Jeff biting her lip. “You know how much I hate this thing. Are you sure?” Jeff chuckles and rests his hand on her hip tilting his head back leaning it against the headrest of the barber chair. “You’re good, you’ve got this go ahead.” he says looking in her eyes before closing his and relaxing, keeping his hand on her hip rubbing the tiny bit of exposed skin with his thumb to comfort her.  

Y/n almost lost her breath from the feeling of his hands on her body, but she controlled herself trying to focus, she did have to admit that it did calm her down feeling his warm skin against hers. “If you insist.” She says before leaning closer to him and starting to clean up his facial hair with her straight razor, her hand on the top of his head to keep him still. Once she moved to his neck, she moved closer to his body, Jeff moved his hand from her hip to her lower back. Y/n bit her lip, she never realized the effect that he had on her body when they were this close to each other or he was touching her. Once she was done, she reluctantly had to step out of his grasp, she grabbed a warm towel and wrapped it around the lower half of his face.  

Nick came out of the back room as Y/n was throwing the wet towel into the hamper. “Y/n/n, once you guys are done and everything is cleaned up you can close up and head out.” Her brother says kissing her forehead before heading over the Jeff and patting his shoulder. “See you guys.” he calls as he leaves. Jeff is standing in the mirror checking out her work and styling his hair. “Is it good bub?” Y/n asks coming up behind him looking over his shoulder. He smiles at her through the mirror and nods. “You did a great job, as always.” he says applying product to his hair. “So, what are your plans tonight that call for a fresh cut?” She asks wrapping her arms around his torso, Jeff smiles and turns to face her and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear before cupping her check. “There’s um actually a party tonight, you should come.” Jeff stutters, he doesn’t like telling Y/n or Nick when he goes to stuff like parties because he doesn’t want them to worry. Jeff has a rough past with drugs but with the two of them in his life all he wants is to stay on track. but he likes to go to parties and hang out with his friends.  

Y/n bites her lip looking up at him. “Eh I don’t know. You know I’m not the party type.” She says shrugging, “Come on for me? We’ll have fun together, I promise.” Jeff pouts causing her to giggle. “Okay fine.” She sings backing away from him to finish cleaning. “You’re good to head out, I’m just gonna finish cleaning.” Jeff smiles and kisses her head. “I’ll pick you up at 8:30.” Jeff mumbles into her hair smiling when she nods. When Jeff walks outside y/n closes and locks the door behind him since she was going to be inside alone. She hums happily to herself while she cleans the shop, sweeping, cleaning all the mirrors and chair and disinfecting all of hers and Nicks tools. The rest of the guys that work at the shop and rent take care of their own tools, Y/n didn’t have to clean up and take care of Nick’s tools but she did it because she wanted to, she’s been taking care of the shop since she started working there.  

Once she was finished cleaning everything she stood at the front and looked over the shop making sure she didn’t miss anything. As soon as she was happy with how it looked she packed up her stuff and turned off the lights heading out the front door making sure to lock it once she left. Her walk home was the same as usual, her and Nick lived only a couple blocks from the shop.  

It was around 7 when Y/n started getting ready, she showered, brushed her teeth, and blow-dried her hair before putting some loose curls in it. She decides on an army green spaghetti strap bodysuit, black skinny jeans with her Gucci belt that Jeff got her for her birthday last year after Nick told him how badly she wanted it, and she was wearing a pair of healed booties. She was sitting at her desk doing her make up when Nick knocked on her door only coming in when she gave him to okay. “Where are you going y/n/n?” He asks coming into the room sitting on her bed. She kept her attention on her makeup “Jeff wanted me to come to a party with him tonight.” She says looking over at him. “Any plans tonight?” She asks applying her lip gloss, which was her final touch, before she turns in her chair to face her brother. “I’m gonna go over to Ella’s place for the night and we’re just gonna hangout.” he tells her shrugging. Ella is Nick’s girlfriend of 4 years. “So why exactly are you going to a party? You hate parties.” He asks smirking at her teasingly causing her to roll her eyes. “Because my FRIEND asked me to come to hang out with him” She says sighs. “You know we’re just friend Nicky.” Y/n says raising her brow at him, Nick rolls his eyes. “Listen I know that you guys think you’re just friends but you’re not, you guys are those friends that like each other and flirt and everyone knows it and it drives them crazy.” Y/n scoffs and looks at him offended. “Rude, you all love us.” Before Nick can say anything, they hear the front door open and close and Jeff’s voice calling out to them. “This isn’t over.” Her brother says standing and heading out of her room.  

Jeff walks into Y/n’s room after saying hi to Nick in the hall, she was standing by her bed switching a few things she needs into a smaller purse. “Wow.” Jeff breathes standing leaning against the doorframe, she looks at him and rolls his eyes waving him off. “Stop, just kidding tell me more.” She teases flipping her hair causing him to chuckle. “Well, you’re gorgeous, you look fine as hell, so damn smart, talented. Want me to keep going? I’ve got plenty more.” He says raising a brow at her, she bites her lip shaking her head now a little shy, she wasn’t expecting to him to say those things, it woke the sleeping butterflies in her stomach.  

“Should we head out then?” He asks smirking, he could see how surprised she was with his words and he loved it. Y/n nods again and grabs her bag and phone, they say bye to Nick on the way out. They took Jeffs car to the party since he wouldn’t be drinking, once they got there, Y/n suddenly was feeling nervous, it had been a while since she’s been to a party. Jeff can feel her tense up next to him as they walk toward the house where the party is being held, he wraps his arm around her waist pulling her closer. Y/n looks up at Jeff and smiles. “I’m okay.” She whispers to him as they walk inside, Jeff nods and lets his hand drop from her waist and he intertwines their fingers leading her into the party and into the kitchen. “Are you gonna have a drink?” he asks leaning against the counter. Y/n stands close to him and shrugs, “Maybe one.” She says smirking, Jeff chuckles and puts his hand on her hip looking her up and down like he did in her bedroom earlier. “Did I mention you look incredible?” He asks biting his lip, Y/n feels her cheeks blush and she looks down smiling. “I think you might have mentioned it.” She says shyly before the two of them are interrupted by one of Jeff’s friends coming over and talking to him.  

Y/n takes this time to grab herself a drink from the cooler on the other side of the kitchen, Jeff talks to one of his friends that had invited him to the party, he keeps an eye on Y/n, he didn’t want her out of his sight for too long, he knows how guys at these parties can be with girls that look like her. “That’s Y/n?” Jeff’s friend asks watching the girl that Jeff had been talking to before he came over, he had met her once a few years back when Jeff first started work at Nick’s shop. Jeff nods at his friend “Yeah what about her?” He asks getting defensive, His friend smirks and shakes his head. “Nah nothing, Just don’t think she was that hot when I met her a few years ago, she grew up.” He says smirking and winking at Jeff, Jeff shakes his head and stands up straight. “Nope, don’t even think about it, shes off limits.” Jeff says annoyed before walking away from him and back toward Y/n. He puts his hand on her lower back and gets close to her ear. “Wanna dance cutie?” he mumbles into her ear, his voice so close to her ear made chills go down her spin, she took a sip of her drink and nods looking over her shoulder at Jeff.  

Y/n has now finished her drink and is dancing on Jeff with his hands on her hips holding her close. Sure Jeff and her have danced together before but never like this, not this close and not with Jeff kissing her bare shoulder. Jeff didn’t know what came over him and why he had this sudden courage that was causing his hands to roam further on her body and hold her closer than he would normally, he also didn’t know what gave him the balls to start kissing and nibbling on her exposed shoulder and neck. Y/n was loving every second of it, soft moans were leaving her lips, but she was praying that Jeff couldn’t hear her over the music, but he could. Y/n turned toward him and wraps her arms around his neck and leans close to his ear. “I need some air outside.” She says just loud enough for him to hear her over the music. She was loving having her body against his and dancing but she was sweating and feeling the drink she had a little bit –she never drinks so when she has even just one she gets a buzz- she needed to step away from the music. Jeff nods and follows her out the back door.  

Once they’re outside she takes a deep breath sighing happily, she leans against the side of her house and closes her eyes enjoying the feeling of the cool air on her skin and the fresh air in her lungs. Jeff is standing across from her smirking, he couldn’t get over how amazing she looked tonight it was making him do things he normally would stop himself from doing. Y/n was humming along with the music her eyes closed, they only opened when she felt Jeff moving closer to her. She looked up at him watching his eyes trace her body causing her to bite her lip, Jeff smirks and puts his hands on her hips pulling her against him. Jeff tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and bites his lip, his eyes darting between her big y/c/e and her plump pink lips. He sighs and shakes his head cupping her cheek. “God, Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he mumbles his face so close to hers that if she moved slightly their lips would be touching but she’s frozen staring into his eyes. “No.” She manages to whisper shyly, Y/n was far from the shy type around guys but here she was, frozen in place under his stare. He shakes his head again his tongue darting out and tracing over his bottom lip, her eye was glued to his tongue and the way it moved over his perfect lips that she was dying to taste. “Jeff.” She whispers wrapping her arms around his neck, Jeff hums and raises his brow, his eyes never leaving her lips. “Kiss me, please.” She says shyly looking at him through her lashes.  

Jeff’s ears were ringing when he heard those works come out of her beautiful mouth, he pulls her body against his tighter and his lips finally meet hers, its soft, but there’s so much passion behind it that it makes her head spin. Her hands are pulling at the hair at the base of his neck and they’re tongues are wrestling for dominance which she quickly lets him win. Jeff only pulls away to catch his breath, he leans his forehead against hers, both of them breathing heavily. “Wanna get out of here?” She whispers biting her lip, Jeff pulled back looking into her eyes surprised, but he nods eagerly. “I’m ready if you are doll.” She nods and smirks as Jeff grabs her hand and leads her around the house to his car. Once they are in the car and Jeff is heading toward her house Y/n’s hands are all over him, shes kissing his neck and her hand is squeezing and rubbing his upper thigh. Jeff is holding the steering wheel with white knuckles trying to focus on getting them to their destination safely. Y/n starts to suck gently on his neck leaving small purple marks that would get darker later. Y/n’s hand brushes over Jeff’s semi hard member that is aching to be released, his breath hitches in his throat and he holds back a low groan.  

“Fuck Y/n.” He sighs glancing over at her while they’re at a red light. She smirks at him and bites her lip trying to hide it, her hand slowly inching closer to his bulge. Jeff reaches over and puts his hand on the back of her neck roughly pulling her into a hungry kiss, she kisses him before pulling back slightly and biting his bottom lip, Jeff groans and shakes his head when cars behind him start beeping. Y/n giggles and runs her hand up and down his thigh teasingly for the rest of the drive to her place.  

Y/n is pulling Jeff into Nick’s apartment by his belt buckle. Jeff chuckles and follows her, she takes him by surprise when they close the door and she is pushing him against the door kissing him hungerly. Jeff grips her hips tightly pulling her against him, his hands move down to grip her plump ass tightly causing her to smirk against his lips. “Jump.” He whispers against her lips as he grips the back of her thighs lifting her, she wraps her legs around his waist moving her lips to his neck kissing and nibbling on the soft skin. Jeff carries her to her bedroom closing the door behind them. He carries her over to her bed throwing her onto it causing her to giggle. Y/n looks up at Jeff biting her lip, he reaches down and undoes her belt pulling off her pants and then her shirt. She lays on her back now only in her panties looking up at the beautiful man hovering over her through her lashes. “Fuck.” he breathes, she smiles and sits up on her knees In front of Jeff, she pecks his lips before tugging his shirt and undoing his pants pulling them down and he steps out of them.  

She traces his abs with the tips of her nails slowly causing him to groan, Y/n lays on her belly in front of him and pulls down his boxers letting his throbbing cock free. Her eyes widen seeing his size causing Jeff to smirk. He strokes himself a couple times, she licks her lips before leaning forward and slowly licks his bright red tip. Jeff bites his lip and gathers her hair in his hands when she finally wraps her small hands around his length and takes him into her mouth. Y/n pumps her hands while she bobs her head taking as much of him into her mouth that she can, he holds the hair out of her face and watches her moaning. Y/n looks up at Jeff through her lashes as she takes all of him into her mouth his tip hitting the back of her throat, Jeff moans and uses his other hand to grip her throat careful to not be too rough. “Y/n, you look so fucking beautiful with my cock in your mouth.” He moans holding her head still and thrusting into her throat, she looks up at him humming while he fucks her face, she was loving every second of it.  

Jeff thrusts into her throat his balls against her chin, he moans his hips bucking slightly. “Fuck baby, you take this cock so fucking well.” He lets go of her throat and reaches behind her slapping her ass that’s high in the air. “You think that pretty little pussy can take it as well as this pretty mouth?” He asks as he lets go of her and takes his cock in his hand again removing it from her mouth. “Yes, I’ll take it all.” She says smiling at him, he cups her face and pecks her lips before motioning for her to spin around. He wanted to fuck her from behind, she had such a fantastic ass he needed it front and center.  

Y/n happily spins around on the bed and arches her back poking her ass into the air for him. Jeff groans and rips her panties off before gripping the flesh roughly kneading at it. Y/n wiggles her ass and looks back over her shoulder at Jeff biting her lip. Jeff pumps himself in his hand and slaps his cock against her cheek before lining himself up with her entrance. “ready angel?” he asks, his voice deep and rough. Y/n whimpers and nods. “Please, I can’t wait any longer.” She moans causing Jeff to smirk and without any more of a warning he thrusts into her roughly causing her to squeal. Jeff doesn’t waste any time thrusting into Y/n roughly and fast, his nails digging into her hips. She’s a moaning mess, she needs all of him, shes throwing her ass back against him. Jeff moans and slaps her ass a few times before rubbing the tender flesh, with the way she was moving he wasn’t going to last much longer. He leans down and kisses her shoulder blades thrusting harder, he reaches round her and rubs her clit. “Fuck baby, you’re so fucking tight, you’re gonna make me cum.” He moans rubbing her clit faster causing Y/n to moan Jeff’s name louder, her legs starting to shake as her orgasm threatens to release. “I’m gonna so close, Jeff.” She moans burying her face into the blankets under her. Jeff thrusts faster and slaps her ass again “Come on Y/n/n cum for me, I wanna feel you cum on this cock.” He grunts into her ear rubbing her clit faster, it wasn’t long before she was cumming hard around his cock and moaning Jeff’s name loudly, hearing her moan his name sent him over the edge and he was spilling into her.  

Jeff collapses on the bed next to y/n breathless, she rolls onto her side and hums happily when he wraps his arms around her pulling her against him. “That was amazing.” She whispers nuzzling her face into his chest. Jeff buries his face into her hair and closes his eyes “I love you y/n/n.” He whispers into her hair, his eyes pop open as soon as the words leave his mouth, she bites her lip and sits up on her elbow looking at Jeff. “You do?” Y/n’s eyes are full of hope, Jeff bites his lip and looks at her nodding. “Yeah, for like a year now.” He mumbles, Y/n’s grabs his face and kisses him hard, she leans her forehead against his. “I love you too Jeff.” Jeff smiles wide and wraps his arms around her pulling her close.  

[novas-creepypasta-shame-pit]

Introduction, Warnings, and Credits So I Don't Get Sued or Some Shit

Hey, if you ended up here I'm so sorry. My name is Nova (they/them), and I'm a major slut for Creepypasta and Slenderverse shit. Been a fan since I was in 3rd grade which is a little less fucked up than it sounds I swear. I'm making this blog to put my CPverse shit in it's own special place so I can keep track of details, characters, arcs, and other things. There isn't a hard set story but there are stories to tell here, and I'm here to tell em!

There's gonna be ocs, Marble Hornets is a part of this, I will be using Toby Rogers, I'm gonna be rewriting and redesigning several characters, ages with be fudged with, if you gotta problem that's your baggage and I'm not obligated to accommodate it. I'll have personal tags to keep my bullshit outta the main tags. Ex: True Crime Narrator | Nova

With that, all the boring shit in the down there part

Warnings include basically anything you can think of tbh, but there's some I feel necessary to note right out of the gate. All tags will start with tw.

Tagged

Murder, Gore, and Death are to be expected due to the general nature of the characters and fandom. I won't tag for murder itself but visual and detailed descriptions of gore will.

Child Abuse and Sexual Assault are here as several characters are mistreated as children and Sally exists. I will tag for explicit child abuse but not vague references. I will definitely tag for sexual assault.

Suicide and Suicidal Behavior are mostly a trait of the proxies and will be tagged.

No Tag Unless Asked

Cannibalism and Medical Horror kinda just goes along with Eyeless Jack

Sexual References because ya gorl's a whole adult and alot of these characters are older teens or whole adults it's not gonna be full detailed smut but the implications are there.

Drug Use of Various Types including underaged usage. I'm counting alcohol in here.

Fire is rather prevalent, mostly warning outta habit.

Can't Tag For

Gratuitous Projection because I find alot of comfort in these characters. Not a really a warning tbh just don't wanna leave anyone to wonder what my deal is lmao. You'll probably know it when you see it.

Possible Misrepresentation of Mental Health Issues as I am a young adult who still learning and researching all the time. I am doing my best but sometimes your best isn't enough. I felt the need to mention it for those who are wary. I do wish to rewrite some characters with large glaring issues.

With all that out of the way, If there's anything somebody needs tagged outside of the can't tag section, don't be afraid to ask, just bc this blog is for my self indulgence doesn't mean I wanna hurt anyone.

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Oh this is going to be so long, ok credits. I make absolutely no statements about any creators in my use of their characters or my crediting. Credits to be added as I figure things out and remember stuff. All characters :

CHARACTER CREDITS

Slenderman was created by Eric Knudsen aka Victor Surge

The Marble Hornets Cast was created by the THAC crew

"Ticci" Toby Rogers was created by Kastoway

Kate "the Chaser" Milens and Charlie Matheson Jr. were created by Blue Isle Studios

Jeff the Killer was created by Sessuer

Homicidal Liu was created by Vampirenote13

Jane the Killer was created by FearOfTheBlackWolf

Nina the Killer was created by AleGotic-Twevel

Zalgo was created by Dave Kelly aka Shmorky

Eyeless Jack was created by Azelf5000

BEN Drowned was created by Jadusable

Natalie "Clockwork" Outlette was created by Luciiid

Korbyn Jumping Eagle was created by Madame Macabre

CONCEPT CREDITS

Bloodlines and Proxy Zombie concepts were inspired by TeamRammyz.

Seer concept was created by Madame Macabre.

[conceptuaiizing]

I did EAs job for them and created a hypothetical teen-centered game pack. (Complete with jobs, aspirations, and events!)

All of the credit for this goes to this amazing person: @silent-spirits The original post can be found on Reddit. THIS IS AMAZING.

Teens need more in-game. They basically are just adults who don't work and it's really sad. I think teens could be one of the best life stages to play but there as of now just isn't enough for them to do. So I tried to brainstorm some ideas for a game pack based on them. Would love to hear your thoughts! If you have more ideas please tell me!

I wanted the main selling point for this pack to be an all-new group of teen-only aspirations, jobs, events, and interactions. This focuses more on the gameplay between teens than it does their interactions with adults such as parenthood.

I realize I've put more in this game pack idea than most expansion packs but listen I'm desperate for teen content and I ain't stingy the more the merrier.

Also, I know a lot of this would be cool as a free update but I decided to still put it here because it fits the theme okay.

New School Option:

Private vs Public School

When your sim becomes a teen the guardian will choose to send them to either a private or a public school. I think its ridiculous a family making $1,000s a day each sends their kids to the exact same school as families pushing $1,000 max all together. Obviously it happens in some cases but not too often.

Sims going to private schools have to pay money to do so and wear uniforms. They also have higher chance of getting scouted by universities cause that's life ya know.

Sims going to public schools don't have to pay or wear a uniform. They have a lower chance of being scouted but as a result, have a higher chance of getting a full-ride when they are because they have lower incomes typically.

Sims from the two become rivals and will play each other in games and other events like in University

Teen Only Aspirations:

Valedictorian

Reward Trait: Overachiever

Must not only have an A in high school along with high mental skill but also must be involved in some social activity. This would boost mental and social skills as a teen and once they get the trait they get two benefits. First, they have a higher chance of getting into a distinguished degree program in discover university if you have it. Otherwise, it allows adult sims to choose the socialize option while at work and still gain not lose promotion progress as an overachiever would have mastered the balance of work and socializing. 

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Prom Queen/King

Reward Trait: Social Royalty

Focuses on mostly social but also creative skills. Sims must be friends with at least 7 teens and introduce themselves to at least 15. They also have to gain skills specifically in painting and charisma because they would be campaigning as a Prom Queen/King to other teens. Allows them to create posters to put up around venues with the teen hangout trait and they have a new school interaction to "gather support" for their campaign. Ties into the new prom event and allows sims to ask a teen to be the person they run with.

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Mr / Miss Evans 

Reward Trait: Sole Lead

Your sim better be ready to bop til they drop with this creative aspiration. This focuses on sims who wish to go into acting, comedy, or music careers. Basically anything involving the big stage. Your sim will need to gain skills in the social categories as well as acting and dancing. Ties into the new school rabbit hole play event where sims can try out after school as they need to get one lead role at least to complete the drama route. They must choose to either be in the play (drama), be in band (music), or being in an improv club (comedy). This allows teen sims to have various interactions with other teens like "discourage from trying out" or "bost about being the lead." Sims who specifically wish to pursue music can join the after school band event which will be at stadiums for performances. Sims with the Sole Lead trait having higher success in stage-related careers, getting into the distinguished drama degree, and can mentor sims in related skills as long as they are a higher level (they don't have to be maxed out)

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Mandatory Participant

Reward Trait: Fighter of the System

For sims who are only at school because its a legal requirement. Sims boost all skill categories in this aspiration but the main focus is mischief and athletism (as they need to escape and play pranks). Sims in this aspiration will skip school with friends, crash prom, and skip their graduation ceremony. They also can't have more than a B in their class and must have a part-time job. This is for sims who believe they don't need school and are able to learn everything themselves. Sims focus on learning skills from books and mentors as well as a part-time career. Sims with the Fighter of the System trait earn higher for freelance, plopsy, and programming jobs as they don't want to work for the man. They also will have a harder time befriending those in the politician and education careers.

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Future 1%

Reward Trait: Big Brain

These teens aspire to be like Elon Musk or Jeff Besos aka the top of the top. Focusing on mental and social skills sims must reach the highest rank of a part-time job in either office assistant, tech intern, or tutor. Sims must also max out at least one skill by the time they become a young adult. Sims who get the Big Brain trait will have a boost to career/degrees related to the law, engineering, technology, and business careers. They also earn a new interaction to "destroy a sim with facts and logic" in the mean category.

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Advisors Pet

Reward Trait: Flexible 

These are for the teens who have absolutely zero idea about what they want to do in life. Sims in this aspiration will need to quit at least one part-time job for another, have 7+ in at last 3 skills, and need to have a best friend. Sims will also need to do interactions such as "ponder about future" and "ask sim future plans" to get ideas. Sims with the Flexible trait will not get upset if they switch careers/degrees and have the ability to switch their degree mid-semester, unlike other sims.

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Future "Influencer"

Reward Trait: Attention Wench

For your classic insufferable teens dead set on being the next biggest youtuber, steamer, or simstagram model. Social media is fully opened up to all teen-elders (you don't have to be in the social media career to get all the options) and teens will have to grind for the numbers. Sims also can do interactions such as "ask for shoutouts," "invite to be in video," or "ask if photoshop looks real." These sims don't care about school much and focus on building up social skills. Due to their constant social media grind, they often will annoy other sims and if they annoy another influencer they can get in a social media drama. If they complete the aspiration they get the Attention Wench trait which makes them less embarrassed, gives a bonus to social media success, and makes them more successful at apologizing because they simply made a serious and severe lapse in their judgment.

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Teen-Only Careers:

Office Assistant

Gain experience in social and mental skills by working in a local office. Levels include paperboy/girl, secretary, intern, and future hire. Sims who make it to the future hire level will get offered to join the business career and gain promotions easier immediately when they grow up which will start them 2 levels ahead. However, they lose this opportunity if they goto University.

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Tech Intern

Sims must have at least 3 levels in programming to apply for this job. Gain experience in programming and logic. There aren't any levels (just bonuses) and the higher the bonus the higher signing bonus they will get if they immediately join the programming career. Like the OA they lose the opportunity if they choose to go to Uni instead of being hired by the company.

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Tutor

Sims must have 5 levels in at least 3 skills to be eligible to become a tutor. Sims gain skills in charisma, research and debate, and writing while working. They also will befriend the student they are tutoring. Becoming a tutor will give sims a bonus to the Valedvitorian aspiration and will also boost them in applying for distinguished degrees.

Note

I wanted to add more careers but I felt there are so many that shouldn't be locked purely behind a teen age. So I figured id stick to careers that actually hold benefits for teens in the future than simple pocket money ones.

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Events:

Prom

-Prom is an event that takes place at a lounge venue during a teen's lifespan much to the nature of the talent show event. Your sim will get notified when Prom begins and they can choose between three options, skip prom, attend, or show up late to crash it. When your sim travels to the venue for Prom they will change into formal gear (unless they showed up later to crash it then they'd be in normal clothes or a special outfit your choice) and have goals like any other event. Other teens that your sim know will be there and the venue will only have teens minus any workers at the venue or chaperons.

-Sims can dance with their date (who they must ask out before prom), try and steal someone else's date (and risk a fight), dance with friends (in case they went alone), take pictures together, and a prom king and queen/king announcement will be made.

-If your sims there to crash it they can mess with the music, steal the food, and even get up on stage to crash the prom royalty announcement. If you go as far as crashing the announcement you will have a little timer that pops up which is your time to escape the venue before the chaperons get you. If you successfully leave without getting got you will have a crown in your inventory and will receive a confident moodlet. If you get caught you get no crown and your guardian is called giving the teen an embarrassed moodlet and the guardian an angry one. Both however result in getting suspended for one day (they stay home) as well as a drop in school performance.

-The day after prom your sim will get texts from their friends regarding prom. If your sim went it will be about what happened there or someone asking since they didn't go. If your sim chooses to crash it they will either get congratulated by their friends for having the guts to do it or the prom queen/king will text them angrily. If your sim didn't go the others will inform them about what happened.

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Graduation

Graduation is much like the one in University where you only get it if you get at least a C and it is a rabbit hole. Your sim can choose to go or skip both results in getting a high school diploma either way. If your sim goes they will show up to the stadium in their uniform with their family if they choose to and will disappear. During the graduation a few things will pop up asking for a choice such as "your friend's name has been called do you A) Scream loudly or B) Act natural" or "your walking to receive your diploma do you A) Do something crazy or B) Act natural." Afterward, your sim will have a confident/happy moodlet and so will whoever attends. They will have time to mingle with the other teens and their families before being asked if they wish to bring their friends over to their house for a party.

Venues

Stadium

-Where sims go for graduation and athletic careers

-Allows sims outside University to go to sports games

-Includes NPCs that are food vendors, players, etc.

-Can be large football stadiums or a small town local one

-If a game or graduation is not occurring sims can play soccer, football, lacrosse, etc with each other on the felid

-Band kids will go here for performances

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After School Activities

Plays

-Anyone can try out for the play (as an actor, tech, or designer) and it happens twice in a teen sims lifespan. If your sim is high enough in acting to get a call back they will be able to choose a specific role to try out for and have the chance of being an understudy if they are beat out. Sims who choose to apply for a tech role will get it instantly. Sims who apply for a designer must have at least a level 3 in painting to receive it.

-If a sim is in production, no matter what aspect they will have to go to practice daily. They also must practice on their own and can do so with others. During practice, they will meet other teens and improve on skills related to what they chose. Sims can also ask others to go watch the play.

-After the play, you will find out how well your sim did relating to how much they practiced/the level. Sims who did great will get a moodlet bonus while sims who didn't will get a negative moodlet. Sims who did poorly also have consequences. If they acted badly they cant apply for the lead in the next play, if their tech or design they won't be allowed to participate next play.

-The night of the play sims and whoever they invited will travel to it as a rabbit hole.

-Allows for sims in the acting branch to get scouted by a college scout and will receive a college scholarship potentially.

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Sports

-Sims can apply for a sports team in various sports.

-All are rabbit hole except for soccer, football, and lacrosse which can be played at the stadium for practice

-Adds more variety of sports equipment that can be used by child-elders (which should also be a free update js)

-Sims on the sports team use the same system as the soccer team from DU

-Like the plays, sims have the ability to get scouted and they can either get a scholarship or if they decide to pursue an athletic-related degree a full ride

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Band

-Adds more instruments (which should be a free update)

-Sims must audition to be in the band and whether they practice or not will mean whether or not their position in the band increases

-Perform in their own rabbit hole events and at sports games for the highschool

-Can also get scouted which can result in scholarships

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Clubs

-Sims can also join various rabbit hole clubs such as anime club, chess club, social related issues clubs, cooking club, d&d club, etc you get the point

-Clubs happen after school but do not occur every single day some might be once a week while other might be three times which allows teens to either join multiple clubs or have time to do a job or simply their homework

-Clubs do not result in possible scholarships but they do increase skills and allow sims to meet friends

-Some clubs will have special weekend events like bake sales or trips

-Being an active club member will increase your sims chances of getting into a distinguished degree as they will look better to the schools

School Trips

-Teens will come home some days and be notified there is a school trip occurring the next day which can either be educational (a museum for example) or for fun (the beach, park, etc)

-If your sims grades are lower than a B they will not be allowed to go

-Sims must have a signed permission slip to attend the trip. When they get home they can ask their guardian to sign it (if you have parenthood and your sims not the best kid their guardian will be more likely to refuse) or if their mischief is high enough they can forge it

-Sims who forge a signature can get caught, sent home, and lose school performance while causing their guardian to get an angry moodlet

-If you have a vacation park (Jungle Adventure or Outdoor Retreat) and your sim has an A they will get the option for an overnight school trip