#so fucking yumby

[sharkflan]

soúpa

[avatar-of-pride]

https://www.tumblr.com/avatar-of-pride/766340652537724928/i-ate-lemon-today-my-teeth-are-ascending?source=share

We both lemon lovers ❤️

Seriously tho , lemons are so fucking Yumby.

- @theonlycoffeeanon

I enjoy sour things

[sing-singy]

i love ur omori art so muchhhhh its so gooood

actually fuck it all ur art is so gooddddddddddd

it looks yumby

seems like it would taste like uh

uhhhhh

paper but sweet and good

idfk im bad at this 😭

GUAH thank you so much 🥲🥲😭 ! ! dont worry i appreciate that you think so . . . and will gladly make more art in the future , thank you again😭😭💙💙 ! !

[chilidogloverr]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Jarrod

Pronouns and gender? they/he, guy???

Sexuality? Pansecual

Country? USA MERICA FUCK YEAH🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Top 5 fandoms? hazbin/helluva, fnaf, team four trees two, i forgor the rest

What is your Most forbidden snack? fabuloso also chapstick

Would you pet a bug? scared scared scared of bugs. dont like them. scary scary.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. i love fixing things, no matter what it is. my silly little brain just latches onto it like a puzzle, which it kinda is. i can already fix most electronic devices, or alteast know how to (FUCK apple and their stupid fucking anti repair policy. thats actual fucking bullshit. i dont want to have to pay for a 200 dollar course and license to fix your shitty god damn phones. mac books and ipads are aight. but FUCK apple as a company. all this does is protect their silly little fucking income from their stupid ass fucking phones breaking all the fucking time. all it does is make it so that people who do fix phones for a living fucking cant, and no devices to fix means no food on the fucking table for them or their families. they're toying with peoples livelihoods for a bit of fucking profit.) if i dont know how to fix it (cars, microwaves, tvs, literally anything that could break) i want to learn

What does the color blue taste like? mmm yumby

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? the ocean. it goes on forever. it doesnt stop. i didnt realize that until i saw it in person. it stopped me dead in my tracks.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? ive got this protein bar. in 2020 (my second year of marching band, freshman year) i was eating a box of them on the way to marching band camp. i lost one. this was in july. i found it on the ground still sealed in january of the following year. i still have it. im going to eat it my senior year at the end of the year band dinner. i have not done it yet. im going into my senior year. im going to do it. it will kill me. i will not regret it.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? a pastor for a church i used to attend (unfortunately hes my uncle) blamed crime and evil on transgender people

Hyperfixation song? long list. Starman David Bowie, banana man tally hall, mr white keys cherry poppin daddies, play that funky music wild cherry, cant take my eyes off you frankie valli, sh-boom the ink spots, the devil went down to georgia the charlie daniels band

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? I've been asked several times where "Chapstick Man!" comes from. It comes from TF2. I named a rocket launcher "chapstick gun" with the description "ngl chapstick taste kinda good" and then i thought the joke was funny and it stuck. my name is now Chapstick Man on like everything. i have not been sued yet. Im too cool to be sued.

Dream career as a child? also electronics repair technician (i am answering these out of order)

Dream career as an adult? still kinda a child ig. but i want to be an electronics repair technician, running my own little computer/electronics repair shop. i already know how to do it, i just need a building and to be 18 (i turn 18 in december) and people to come and give me their stuff to fix. i love fixing things.

Thoughts on cilantro? its aight ig

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I havent. but i plan to be. i am going to be silly and they cannot prevent it.

What is your cursed food combination? I did my burgers in ketchup if i want ketchup, i did my biscuits in gravy for biscuits and gravy

Trans rights? are epic!!!!!!

@everyone im lazy

[butterscotch-brigade]

when i get home im gonna make the juiciest fuckin grilled cheese sandwich just u fucking WAIT

[deh-beh]

10 and 20?

-patsmassivekeychain (it's a sideblog so I have to ask like this)

10. Explain the Freddos controversy for all your non-British followers

A freddo is a very small chocolate bar, very nice and yumby with a neat frog. You could get these bad boys for 10p when I was growing up. Had a 10p? Great, freddo for you. But now the price is like 30p. 30 FUCKING P FOR A FREDDO IT'S INSANE! I mean tesco reduced them to 10p for their week of 100yr celebrations but that's paltry.

But, props to them, they've changed their frog to an endangered frog in Australia to raise awareness so 🐸

20. What are your thoughts on school uniforms?

For a private school, fine. But uniforms are too expensive, uncomfortable, often don't fit larger bodies (I mean when I was 8 my teacher asked my mum to tell me to wear a bra because my jumper was built for tiny kid bodies and he said he was distracted in class) and uniforms lead to awful dress codes where individuality and autonomy is stripped away for the sake of 'learning', but if you wear elasticated trousers you miss a day of school in isolation? Just let kids wear their own clothes!

[dontasktheradiodemon]

King Cake (2/12/2021)

Alastor sends a hostage letter to Sir Pentious @hiss-and-vinegar​ letting him know that his king cake is ready. Sir Pentious boldly tracks down Alastor at his secret lair (the hotel he hangs out at every single day) to retrieve the hostage cake.

They hang out in the kitchen, chat, and hatch a dastardly plot to break into another ring of Hell and steal scrap metal.

And there’s an exciting surprise at the end!! You should read it! It’s exciting!!!

Alastor

There's a pompous trumpet fanfare out of nowhere to call attention to a small portal opening up in midair, just in time for a folded paper to drop through.

Unfolded, there's a Polaroid of a chocolaty-looking Bundt cake with careful stripes of gold colored sugar, with the tip of a knife looming threateningly over the innocent cake. The polaroid is paper clipped to a letter made of words cut and pasted from a newspaper, reading: "meet me tonight or the cake gets it !"

The letter is signed with Alastor's KTRD stamp, which begs the question of why he took the time to cut up a newspaper rather than just write the letter himself.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious knows exactly why Alastor did it this way. Because he's EXTRA. Just like Pentious is. In fact, when Penny reads the letter, he's SNICKERING to himself.... until it's a FULL BLOWN CACKLE!

Receiving a letter? Excellent. RECEIVING A RANSOM NOTE??? HAHAAAAA!!! He LOVES IT. Their humor is based on PACKAGED BOMBS, after all. Sir Pentious slithers over to his planner, and begins jotting the information down. Just in case!!! You never know if you'll get distracted. Hee hee.

Alright Alastor, he's going to go take a bath and make sure he's all ready for tonight.

Alastor

Alastor, in all his vast wisdom, totally neglected the most important part of a hostage letter: a time and place for the hostage exchange to take place. He sort of thought that Sir Pentious would message him to arrange a pickup. Someday he'll learn not to assume anything.

At any rate, since he doesn't hear from Sir Pentious, he figures maybe he hasn't seen the letter yet or else doesn't have time to pick up the hostage tonight. If he doesn't hear from Sir Pentious by midnight Alastor will message him to make sure he got the note and that he didn't misinterpret it as a real threat instead of a joke, but in the meantime he distracts himself with hotel business and his other Mardi Gras plans.

Sir Pentious

Yep, it never even dawned on Sir Pentious to just... message him. Likely that meant to meet at the Hotel! Isn't that where Alastor often hung out anyway? It was just easier to meet there anyway, with its strange dimensional ways.

When the time comes, he's slithering into the lobby, still wearing his usual outfit. Should he have dressed up? WELL, there was nothing about dressing up so... Anyway here he is, tongue flicking and all. Slimther slimther.

Alastor

It's not going to be hard to find Alastor—just follow the sound of accordions and loud French singing. He's been playing almost nothing but this song for over a week. Seriously, he's got a dozen different versions of this song.

He's taken over the hotel lounge with various sewing junk: colorful fringes made of scrap fabric, scissors, half-hemmed squares of fabric. At the moment, he's attaching strings of pearls to a fancy-looking dark blue-green coat.

Sir Pentious

Oh! Look at THAT! His eyes widen, ALL of them, and he *beams*, all of his sharp yellow teeth gleaming. A party! Le Carnaval est commencé! He's going to slither in more fully, as he takes in a *deep breath*.....

"*JOYEUX CARNAVAL, MON AMI!!!*" Yes, nothing like screaming during festivities.

Alastor

Alastor starts and jumps out of his seat—oh, Sir Pentious is *here*—and hollers back, "Joyeux carnival!" Why is he hollering, they're in the same room. He tosses down his project and prances across the room to Sir Pentious, half dancing to his music before he finally stops it so they can talk properly. "Look at you, tracking me down in my secret lair—some hostage-taker I am! That'll teach me to send ransom notes."

Sir Pentious

"WELL, YOU COULD BE BETTER AT IT IF YOU INCLUDED A MEETING PLACE AND A MORE APPROXIMATE *TIME*, BUT ALL YOU SSSAID WAS MEET YOU AT MIDNIGHT! WHERE ELSE WOULD I CONCLUDE TO GO?" He lids his eyes, smirking, "ROSIE'SSSS? I THINK NOT!"

They can tease each other about that. *It's allowed.* He straightens his posture and gestures about, "YOU'VE DONE A VERY GOOD JOB DECORATING! BUT I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED AS MUCH FROM A SHOWMAN SSSUCH AS YOURSSSSELF!"

Alastor

"Well—! I thought we were going to arrange a time and place. I didn't want to say 'let's meet at so-and-so,' I didn't know what your availability was. Say, what kind of a victim of a terrifying kidnapping doesn't go and *ask* when and where to meet for an exchange?" Tisk tisk.

He surveys his mess. "Oh, yes—I'm not finished. Most of this decoration is for *me*, believe it or not!" He picks up a battered leather coat, onto one side of which he's messily sewn about half of the colorful fringes that are scattered around the room; and then tosses it back down. "I always start preparing too late, I never figure out what I'm doing for Mardi Gras until the last minute!"

There's a ding like an elevator arriving. "Ah! But you're not here for costumes, you're here for a cake!"

Sir Pentious

.... OH it's for a COSTUME? And here Sir Pentious thought Alastor was decorating.... He kind of looks sheepish a moment, then clears his throat. The reminder of cake has him smiling again.

"YES!! I ENJOYED THE PHOTOGRAPH VERY MUCH, IT LOOKSSS TASTY. I AM EAGER TO TRY IT."

Alastor

"Then by all means!" He leads Sir Pentious toward the kitchen.

"Do you want to try it here? Hard to play the whole king cake game without enough participants to eat the whole thing at once, but! There's no reason you can't eat it bit by bit, really."

Sir Pentious

.... He makes a face......................

"I DON'T WANT TO *SHARE* MY CAKE....." Squint, "I WILL EAT IT WITH *YOU*, BUT IT'SSS MY CAKE!" A real gentleman, truly.

Alastor

"All right! It might take you a few days to find the winning slice, then. But hey! That guarantees you'll be the one to get it!" It's not the traditional way to play, but they're celebrating a Catholic holiday in Hell, who gives a fuck about tradition.

Sir Pentious

Who gives a FUCK indeed. He purrs, and gives Alastor's shoulder a *squeeze.*

"I IMAGINE IT MUSSST HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT TO MATCH MY SPECIFICATIONSSS, BUT YOU WOULD BE THE MAN TO DO IT!"

Alastor

He leans into the squeeze and beams at the praise. "I worked it out! It *was* a challenge, but I'm proud of the results! Just don't eat the cake in the dark."

Sir Pentious

Blink.

"WHY? THAT SSSOUNDSSS OMINOUSS."

Alastor

"What, do you want me to ruin the surprise?" The sweetest, most innocent smile.

He manages to maintain it for a couple of seconds before he cracks and laughs at himself. "Ha! No, I'm kidding, I haven't done anything to it, there's nothing you need to worry about—but you *do* need to eat it with the lights on."

Sir Pentious

He makes a RATTLING sound, face VERY close to Alastor's before he pulls back, "YOU GOT MY HOPESSS UP FOR SSSOMETHING, ALASSSTOR! BUT A TASSSSTY TREAT WILL HAVE TO DO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SSSOME WITH ME? I HAVEN'T BROUGHT ANYTHING MYSELF."

Alastor

"I don't tamper with friends' food." He tilts up his chin, as if turning his nose up at the very *thought* of such a thing.

Here's the kitchen and there's the cake, under a little lid to keep it fresh; he removes the lid with a flourish. It looks like the picture. Sans the knife hanging over it. "Oh, maybe a bite or two if you don't want your whole slice, but I don't really like cake." Says the guy who's been constantly baking cakes for the last week and a half. "Anyway! It's designed to be cut into eight sections, you can see from the ridges formed by the cake pan. Take whatever slice you want."

Sir Pentious

Hmmm.... Alastor doesn't like cake! Penny squints at him.

"YOU KNOW WHY YOU DON'T LIKE CAKE? BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE TEA. IF YOU LIKED TEA, YOU'D BE MORE CULTURED." He's got the shit eating GRIN. THIS MAN IS IN A GOOD MOOD.

He takes a plate, then a slice.... What does this cake taste like? Time to take a bite and find out!

Alastor

"Oh, is that the reason! Is that why it is! That's the cause and effect chain, enjoying tea causes you to enjoy cake." He elbows Sir Pentious lightly as he passes on the way to a cabinet. "You're lucky I'm not cultured, then. It's more cake for you." He grabs a bag of homemade jerky out of a cabinet—see, he's eating something too—and plops down in a chair near Sir Pentious.

The cake is, unsurprisingly, chocolate—but with a slight citrusy flavor mixed in. Although it was clearly made in a Bundt cake pan, Alastor took the trouble to slice it in half and add an extra layer of chocolate frosting in the middle, with additional colored sugar dyed black mixed into the frosting that makes it shimmer a little.

Alastor watches intensely as Sir Pentious takes his first few bites of the cake; but he loses interest after a few seconds and monches his jerky.

Sir Pentious

Alastor losing interest in watching Pentious eat? THE NERVE!

Sir Pentious is DELIGHTED by the flavor, and he's actually humming out "Mmmm"s as he eats it, eyes closed in pleasantness.

He's doing that thing where he rubs a cheek while he chews. Yumby.

Alastor

HAHA NEVER MIND it's cute and now he's interested again. "I take it you like it!"

Sir Pentious

"I DO, YOU ALWAYSSSS FIND A WAY TO OUTDO YOURSELF. HOW DID YOU COME BY THESE INGREDIENTSSSSS? HAVE HELP SSSSECURING THEM?" He gently dabs ( <:dab:618107764211712020> ) a napkin to his mouth.

Alastor

"All box mix, actually! Chocolate and lemon. I got them at one of those upscale grocery stores where the demon nobility goes, they've got a fairly well-stocked section of mortal realm imports. It just takes a couple of substitutions from the box recipe."

Sir Pentious

"HMMMM.... BOX RECIPES, HMMM...." He's going to eat more of his slice. It is rather filling.

"WE SHOULD HAVE TEA! OR, *I* SHOULD HAVE TEA."

Alastor

On his feet! "We've got *some* running around. What kind?" He opens a cabinet and pushes aside like five varieties of coffee looking for tea behind it.

Sir Pentious

"EARL GREY." He swivels his head to watch Alastor dig around.

Alastor

“Earl Grey,” Alastor muttered. He shoved aside a half dozen boxes of herbal tea. “Ah-ha! Here we are!” He retrieved the tea triumphantly, then went looking for the other supplies they’d need.

Once he had the water heating on the stove, he plopped down next to Sir Pentious again. “What teas *do* you like? Besides Earl Grey.”

Sir Pentious

His tongue wiggles as he thinks, and he begins cutting another piece of the slice with his fork.

"ENGLISH BREAKFAST!" Prr prr prr. "HAVE YOU HAD IT? NO OF COURSE NOT. IT HAS A SWEET, ALMOST FRUITY TASTE TO IT."

Alastor

“I’ve had it! At some point. As I recall, it tasted quite a bit like tea.” He smirked. “I’m not a fan of sweetness, either.”

Sir Pentious

"BOTTOM OF THE POT, *GRAINY* BLACK COFFEE FOR YOU ONLY, EH? HOW *DO* YOU SURVIVE." Snort, "OH RIGHT! DEAD, TOO! NYAAAA HA HAAAAAAA!"

Alastor

With great dignity, Alastor said, “I drink the *highest quality* of coffee. Look at this.” He leaned back in his chair to open the cabinet and point at a coffee bag with a skull and crossbones on it. “Look at that! This is almost pure caffeine!” Studio laughter. “But seriously! I have a refined palate, and it applies as much to coffee as it does to anything else.”

Sir Pentious

"ALASSSTOR, YOU EAT PEOPLE, HOW REFINED CAN IT GET? OR IS IT SSSSIMPLY SSSO BECAUSE YOU SSSAY IT ISS?"

Alastor

“I don’t eat people because I have *low standards.* If I had low standards, I’d be willing to choke down whatever hellish fauna’s ground-up offal is used to make the patties in fast food joints.” He sticks out his tongue, bleh. “I eat people because my standards are *high.* The simple fact is that quality ingredients are hard to get in Hell, and meat is no exception! Hell’s native game is *incredibly* difficult to hunt—and not particularly delectable, at that. Imported meat is expensive, rare, and often spoiled when you get it from the long trip to Hell. On the other hand, sinner meat is flavorful, *much* easier to hunt, self-replenishing, and comes in varieties that taste very similar to familiar mortal domesticated animals. I’ve *discussed* it on my *blog.*” He says this all self-importantly.

Sir Pentious

HEE HEEEEEE! He's giggling to himself while Alastor goes on his rant. It IS very informative, and he's certain he's read that before.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! THOUGH ONLY IN HELL COULD IT BE ARGUED IN THAT MANNER! CANNIBALS ARE NOT WELL REGARDED IN THE LIVING WORLD."

Alastor

“Well of course not, cannibals in the living world kill people! Cannibals in Hell only *inconvenience* people.” He started counting off on his fingers: “Now, granted, almost all the premortem cannibals I’ve talked to have been Americans—that’s what you’ve got in the area—but generally they were eating people for one of four reasons: starvation; hatred; a fetish; or Catholicism.” Studio laughter. “That’s a communion joke for you—but the first three reasons stand. Plenty of postmortem cannibals started for one of those three reasons, sure—but more than you’d think got into it for the culinary convenience of it! Especially if they’re buying from the butcher instead of doing the hunting themselves.”

Sir Pentious

Alastor you probably intended that communion joke to be a fly by or maybe a light chortle, but Sir Pentious was also a catholic, and instead of just snorting, he launches into a full fledged WAAAAAH HAHAHAAAAAAA at the joke.

"*CATHOLICISM!!!!*" Look at him clap his hands together. Glee. He loves a groaner.

Alastor

He politely pauses for the uproarious laughter. A comedian is never going to complain when his audience finds his joke *more* funny than he expected them to—especially if he’s performing in front of his favorite audience.

Sir Pentious

Don't mind him, wiping tears from his eyes at that one. Fuck catholics!

"APOLOGIESSS, YOU WERE SSSAYING?"

Alastor

“Oh... I didn’t have anything to add to the point. Just the differences between antemortem and postmortem cannibalism.” A shrug.

He takes advantage of the slight lull in the conversation to hover over a teapot and the box of Earl Grey to set in front of Sir Pentious. Here, dump your own tea in, Alastor sucks at tea prep.

Sir Pentious

He's going to do just that, humming as he does. None of that 10 second steeping!!! DISGUSTING..

Once the bags are in, be gets back to finishing off his slice. No prizes in that one!

Alastor

And Alastor returns to his jerky. Ah, a moment of peaceful, companionable silence—haha just kidding. When it’s obvious neither of them is about to say something else, Alastor starts playing a peppy march.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is *happy* for it, though he attempts to change the channel by flicking Al's ear tuft.

Alastor

That’s not a dial, but he gets what Sir Pentious is attempting to do. The music switches from a march to the Mysterious Axman’s Jazz.

Sir Pentious

PREFERABLE.

Sir Pentious purrs, and once the tea has brewed long enough, he's going to pour himself a cup.

And then DIP some cake in it, HEE HOO we're living wildly.

Alastor

"I see why a tea-drinking man of *culture* also eats cake. So they go together, do they?”

Sir Pentious

"OH, SHUT UP, BEAN GUZZLER." Says the Leaf Drinker. He's laughing.

Alastor

“Oh, am I the one here who consumes beans! Where do you think chocolate comes from?” He’s laughing too.

Sir Pentious

"*COFFEE* BEAN GUZZLER!!! BUT, AH, TOUCHE."

He's done eating cake for now, and he's sipping the rest of the tea. He can handle the bits of crumb, he did this to himself.

"SSSO AFTER THISSSS, BACK TO YOUR COSTUME MAKING?"

Alastor

A long, *long* tired sigh. “Probably. I’ve only got—it’s still Friday, right?” He tilts his head, as if he’s *listening* for the time. “Yes, Friday—so, two days until the ball that one costume’s for. And the fancier costume, at that. Although I might need a break, my productivity is plummeting.”

Sir Pentious

Tongue flick.

"OHHH, DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE A SNAKE LIKE ME? MY MIND CONSTANTLY IN A STATE OF *FLUX* OVER IDEAS AND INSSSSSPIRATION!" HEEHOOHEE

Alastor

“Ideas, I’ve got. It’s the inspiration I’m missing. Inspiration and patience for the repetitive bits. I’ve been sewing pearls for *days.*” He laces his fingers to stretch his poor aching hands and mutters, “I should delegate this.”

A bright smile! “Is that your way of subtly hinting that you’ve got some recent inspiration you’re dying to share, or are you going to disappoint me?”

Sir Pentious

Oh, he HAS inspiration alright. He leans in closer, his Pentious Breath right in Al's face.

"YESSS, INDEED. YOU SSEEE, I'VE COME INTO A SSSPOT OF *KNOWLEDGE.* I'VE HEARD THAT LOO LOO LAND, YOU KNOW, THE AMUSEMENT PARK IN THE GREED RING? IT'SSS BEEN BLOWN TO SSSMITHEREENSSS. LOTSSS OF METAL JUSSST FOR THE *TAKING.* WHILE I HAVE IDEASSS, I DON'T HAVE MUCH TERRITORY AND ACCESS TO METALSSS IN HELL." He sits back, "ALASSS, I'VE NO WAY TO *GET* TO THE DAMN PLACE. NOT ENOUGH POLITICAL SSSWAY, AS IT WERE. NOT SSSINCE I ARRIVED IN HELL, ANYWAY."

Alastor

Smells like tea and cake.

Alastor blinks in surprise. "Lucifer's park?" Who would fuck with Lucifer's park—? "Oh, no—Greed ring. The knock off."

That sounds like a solvable problem. Alastor leans forward, chin propped up in his hand, grinning wider. "Well, I wouldn't be much of a dancer if I didn't have sway!"

His mind is already working—what's an amusement park going to have in it? Roller coasters? Elaborate moving games? Lots of good mechanical bits and bobs, no doubt. And this Sir Pentious isn't the only one Alastor knows who'd benefit from those supplies. "If I get you in there, I get to salvage anything *you* don't want. Sound fair?"

Sir Pentious

"WELL, YESSS, NOT LYU LYU LAND. LOO LOO LAND!"

HMMMM? He leans closer. Their faces could be TOUCHING.

"AND WHAT NEED HAVE YOU FOR SSSSSCRAP, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

“*Lyu Lyu.*” Wheeze. Is that how it’s pronounced? “*I* don’t need it. But the other you that’s been around lately does, and I promised I’d help him get fresh materials at a discount. No better discount than free!”

Their faces ARE touching. Alastor closes the last little distance to squish their cheeks together and flings an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders. “Now, this is your little expedition—you’re putting in the research and the labor, so of course you get first pick, I’m not going to ask you to hand over any of the good stuff to an alternate who isn’t even coming along. But! Anything you *don’t* want, I don’t see any harm in hauling it over to him and asking whether he can make use of it!”

Sir Pentious

Ah, the CHEEK SMOOSH. Cheeks can smoosh other cheeks!!! Sir Pentious puts his own arm around Alastor, and Grins wide.

"AH, WHAT A *GOOD SSSSAMARITAN* YOU ARE, ALASSSTOR!" Hee hoo. His tongue flicks in thought..... No maybe don't tease him right now.

"VERY WELL, THEN! WHATEVER I DON'T WANT, YOU CAN HAVE! ANOTHER QUESTION IS METHOD OF *RETRIEVAL.* ARE WE RELYING ON YOUR FRIEND HENTAI FOR THAT?"

Alastor

“You know me! Utterly selfless! The most helpful man you’ll meet!” He knows he’s left himself wide open for teasing. He’s very grateful Sir Pentious didn’t take the opportunity.

“With the airship still out of commission, I suppose we’ll have to, won’t we?” He pokes Sir Pentious, “That’ll be the other way you pay me—bring snacks for me. Working with Hentai is hungry work.”

Sir Pentious

SNORT.

"WHAT TO BRING FOR THE MAN WHO HATES EVERYTHING! NO SWEETS, NO TEA! ONLY FISTFULS OF MEAT!"

Alastor

A scandalized hand over his heart. “Sweet and tea are the *only* things I hate! Have you ever seen me turn down one of your sandwiches? *Really,* now.” He pokes Sir Pentious’s arm. “Are you just having fun at my expense, or do you really think my tastes are that limited?”

Sir Pentious

"WHY *ALASSSTOR*, WHEN HAVE I *EVER* HAD FUN AT YOUR EXPENSE?" He's saying it ever so dramatically, very sarcastic as he even winks AND nudges him.

"SSSSANDWICHESSS IT ISSSS. SSSTILL NO ALCOHOL, MMM?"

Alastor

The most *dramatic* eye roll. He arches his brows and tilts his head to get more eye rolling in.

“Oh, social drinks are fine right now—but I don’t think alcohol mixes well with moving heavy metal or communing with eldritch deities. Maybe once our work is finished.”

Sir Pentious

He's beaming suddenly, and he gives Al a KISS on the forehead before backing up.

"A *DEAL!* ALTHOUGH, I MAY REFRAIN FROM ALCOHOL AS WELL. PERHAPSSSS GINGEMBRE INSSSTEAD!" GOLLY he's in a good mood. Look at him smiling!

Alastor

Hold on, give Alastor a second, fireworks are going off behind his forehead and he’s trying to enjoy the show.

“What is that, some kind of ginger ale?” His brain translates *gingembre* as plain old *ginger,* and he doubts Sir Pentious is suggesting that a chunk of root is an adequate substitute for alcohol. “Sure! We can drink while we work that way.”

Sir Pentious

Prrr prrr.

"YESSS, GINGER ALE! I HAVE A REFRIGERATOR ABOARD THE AIRSHIP, KEEPSSSS THEM PRACTICALLY *FROZEN.* YOUR LIPSSS WILL SSSTICK TO THE BOTTLES, NYA HA HAAAAAAA!"

He's finished off his tea! Pours himself another cup...

Alastor

Static static.

“Now that sounds like a trap! I guess the only way to find out for sure is to try one, isn’t it!”

He gives Sir Pentious enough space to drink his tea—but, as long as he’s already over here, decides to keep leaning their shoulders together.

Sir Pentious

He's fine with this, he's still purring in that terrifying way. Habby.

"SSSO WHO ARE YOU DANCING WITH TO GET US INTO THE GREED RING, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

“Oh, I’ve got a few people I can call on! I hear Paimon’s been looking for a way to spite Mammon; Stolas is usually pretty lax with sinners, he’s easy to bargain with; perhaps Tommy, he owes me one... I’ll narrow it down!”

Sir Pentious

HMM! Exciting. Sir Pentious is about to SPEAK when his phone VIBRATES against his breast. OH!

Time to grab his phone and INVESTIGATE....

Alastor

Time to lean over and EAVESDROP.

Sir Pentious

Well, he's obscured the screen enough from Alastor, but....

```Congratulations on your imminent fatherhood, Sir Pentious. Please come collect your wife at your earliest convenience. Which had better be now.```

OH. OH. GASP. JELLY EYES. All of his eyes are JELLY EYES. Look at this man, he's looking like he might COLLAPSE!

"*OHHHH* I HAVE TO *GOOOO*!"

He's STILL holding the phone but, YOU KNOW. He's going to show the screen to Alastor, listen that's his best friend he wants him to KNOW!

Alastor

*Oh!!* Alastor grabbed Sir Pentious’s arm. “*Really* this time? Not unfertilized eggs?”

Sir Pentious

"REALLY, THISSSS TIME!" *SNIRFFF.*

"WE WEREN'T SURE, BUT HILDA ISS RATHER THOROUGH...." His voice is all SQUEAKY.

"I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!!"

Alastor

Alastor squeezed an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders. “Well, *congratulations!* Oh, you must be *thrilled!* How many is it?” He had to raise his voice to be audible over the cacophony of invisible party noisemakers and an old song that started singing in the background: “—*pretty baby! Won't you come and let me rock you in my cradle of love, and we'll cuddle all the time. Oh I want a lovin' baby and it might as well be you, pretty baby of mine—*”

After a good long squeeze, he let go and swatted Sir Pentious’s arm. “What are you still doing here, you’re supposed to be with your wife! Go, get! Get out of here! Take your cake!”

Sir Pentious

He BEAMS, Sir Pentious is GIGGLING. How many?

He goes red faced, raising a finger to speak, UNTIL HE'S BEING SWATTED! "OH, YESSS, AT ONCE! AT ONCE!"

He gathers up the cake! And he gives a TIP of his hat to Alastor before he's HURRIEDLY slithering out the door!

... Peeks back in. "THISSSS ISSS JUSST THE CONFIRMATION, BY THE BY! NO EGGSSS YET! OKAY, TA TA!" The door closes!!

Alastor

He waves. “Give Valera my congratulations!”

The music slowly peters out once the door closes.

... Hold on, how were there no eggs yet if Valera was already pregnant? He should have asked. Whoops.

[everything-laito]

hi its me back at it again at uh 2:30 am wanting to do another laito analysis with his versus shin cd but i am too tired to big brain so take these tired ass reactions

Sup, it’s Corn here, I’ll have a legit Laito analysis via the Laito VS Shin drama cd. But its LATE and I did take notes during this drama cd to retain info for that big brain moment in the morning, but a lot of it is just my reactions. I recommend listening to it, so here’s my link to it! 

This is just for shits and giggles but I hope there's some entertainment in my awful commentary; yes these are all directly taken from my notes on my computer lmaooooooo

Track 01 - Pretty startled by how gentle Laito sounds… it’s too off putting for me. I don’t think they switched up his voice direction or anything cuz in the newer drama cds he’s still like “Haaaaiiiii, Biiiiitch-chan~ mitte mitte!” (Until he gets emotional of course)  - The softness in his voice is still… off putting… it’s still the same ol Laito (I mean, a bit less compared to the OG - Mania that is his Do-S CD)  His voice is…. Kinda… slower? I can’t tell if it’s him being desperate and needy or just….restraining something  -  WAIT HUH?! THIS WAS IN PUBLIC THE WHOLE TIME? IS THAT WHY HE WAS QUIET?????? WHEN HAS THAT STOPPED HIM???? BROOOOOOOOOO HE REALLY JUST SUCKED YOUR BLOOD BUT ARE WE SURPRISED? NO  - I M A G I N E  SEEING SOMEONE DOING WHAT LAITO DID WHICH WAS JUST OBSESSING OVER UR NECK AND LAPPING BLOOD FROM IT WHAT THE FUUUUUCK LMAOOOOOOOOO

Track 02 - Oh lit he’s not soft anymore, maybe this boy actually had some VOLUME MANNERS  But obviously not because he just LOUDLY SUCKED YOUR BLOOD IN PUBLIC  - THIS IS LIKE HEARING OR SEEING SOMEONE LISTEN TO/WATCH PORN ON LIKE THE TRAIN BUT LIKE WORSE CUZ ITS “REAL LIFE” HGSDLKJF - Ah yes we gotta keep vampires as a secret from the world!!! Laito: SUCC SUCC SUCC MMMMMMMMMMMM YUMBIE BLOOD 

“I wonder if this falls within one of the categories of his infamous kinks?” 

- SHIN LMAO this cracks me up oh my god I love this pairing 

Track 03  - Ok so my first experience hearing shin drink ur blood; my god I was a bit terrified cuz im so used to hearing Laito being so vocal, and I mean this guy is rough at first but he’s not like,,,,, Laito (duh) so this was interesting for me to hear lmaooooo this isn’t like most of the boys  - Shin asks “Who would you rather be owned by?” HAH you know that answer already.  

Track 04

- Oh my GOD Laito attacked Shin and this is so weird cuz he doesn’t like violence; mang Laito rly be on that Karl power - LAITO SAID FUCK LAITO SAID FUCK LAITO SAID FUCK LAITO SAID FUCK OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT  - OH GOD ANGRY LAITO OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT -  LAITO SAID FUCK MORE

“Haha…No need to get so serious. It was an ‘act’, all of it. You enjoyed it as well, didn’t you? Getting to play the heroine of a tragedy, I mean.” (Laito)

-  BITCH ASS WE KNOW YOURE PUTTING UP AN ACT RIGHT NOW BACK THERE WAS THE REAL YOU, PUSSY ASS BITCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO GODDAMN MUCH 

Track 05

“Your time limit for…returning Bitch-chan…has long expired…” (Laito)

STOOOOOOOP THIS SOUNDS LIKE A MEMEEEEEEE

“Those with power hold great responsibilities.”

- You know the exact quote Im thinking of when Shin said this 

Shin: “Oi!! What are you doing right in front of my eyes!?” (Laito biting you)

- SHIN LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO

I know I won't remember this when I wake up so anyway hi awoken me do you regret this yet????

[batfossil-fr]

talk dirt-y to me about kahopen and sjimua bc they're fucking YUMBY!!!!

DIRT TIME!! (laced with 500000000 volts of electricity)

Kahopen.. I’ve got plans for them. they’re basically the Big Guy behind all the elemental guardians and used to have control of them. they’re basically a god or Something that just. exists and is chill generally. they’re probably the kind of thing that if you look at them you’ll 1. experience a lot of static and/or 2. get a massive headache but if you CAN tolerate them somehow they’re probably cool to have a cup o tea with

Sjimua...... oh boy this is a lad I’ve been stuck on for ages. I dunno what he’s gonna do yet!! is he a guardian? is he caught in the crossfire?? who knows!

actually I’ve been doing a bit of thinking and I might Revoke his guardian status that I’ve tentatively put there. I think all the guardian positions I have are good as they are, so I kinda wanna put him in a side character role... aka maybe he’s being hunted down by one of them, or maybe he’s got one under control, maybe he’s a scientist experimenting... from what I do know though, he’s probably gonna have a rough time with one of the guardians at least :)

[enchanted-mlm]

yall carrot cake oreos are so fucking yumby have you ever tried them

[1010meha]

Sometimes I crave fish but am too depressed to get up and cook so badabing badaboom:

Best Fucking Salmon:

Mix miso paste + honey + garlic paste/minced garlic

Cover salmon fillet(s?) In this

LIBERALLY oil a baking sheet & Bake at like 450 or smthn like that for 10-15 minutes idk

Serve with rice and yeaaaaaa baby

EXTRA CREDIT:

u know those lil parm packets that come with pizza? If u have extra, cover some asparagus with it and pop it in the oven with the salmon mmmm yumby

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

[bernese-mountain-dyke]

having the most banger breakfast ever (multigrain sourdough with cream cheese on top and scrambled eggs with bacon bits inside)

[corninthegob]

Wasn't tagged but IM GONNA DO IT ANYWAY B-) if u see this feel free to rb even if i didnt tag u

3 SHIPS

i will restrain myself from making all 3 of these OFMD i swear on my life i can think of a different show i can do it ((sweating and shaking and crying))

Gentlebeard (Our Flag Means Death). i cannot add extra details like with the others or i will combust. I love them so much.

um

uhhhhhjh

nick and stu WWDITS 2014 honestly it doesnt even have to be romantic at all like that isnt really in the film i just want more of them interacting together and i happen to have a gay agenda where i want people to be gay in my medias

Venom and Eddie look i swear im not a monster fucker like that may be a little bit the reason but also i love how their relationship evolved over the 2 films and also My Gay Agenda

BONUS SHIP!!! Spirk ive literally never watched the original star trek but ive seen like 10 clips of the way they interact and Holy Shit. Oh My Fucking God. plus they invented half the goddamn fandom tropes in existance i cant NOT love them

speaking of star trek, we need more Tuvok appreciation. Voyager was the first series i watched and he is by far my favourite character. i love him. He's the best.

FIRST SHIP

Im pretty sure it would be Discord x Celestia from MLP:FIM or some pairing from youtuber Aphmau's old Minecraft fantasy roleplay series

LAST SONG

Meltdown by Iroha

LAST MOVIE

either JoJo Rabbit, The Wilderpeople, or WWDITS (2014). i literally never watch movies this is all from like the earlier half of this year.

CURRENTLY READING

Slow crawl, but I've been reading "No Longer Human" by Osamu Dazai. It's really good but it has some REALLY fucked up content in it so please only read it if you're able to handle that stuff (i say ignoring my own advice)

Another one I've been slowly going through since the end of last year is "Shiver," Junji Ito's collection of some of his shorter stories. It's all horror manga and contains a lot of disturbing imagery and themes.

Part of the reason I'm taking so long to read both these books, despite them both not being that long, is because of all the goddamn OFMD fics ive been reading ever since the first season ended 😭😭😭 i may be slightly (extremely) obsessed with this show ok after all the years of queerbaiting and my pessimism towards us ever getting mainstream queer love stories and representation i was FINALLY PROVEN WRONG and it means so much to me.

also it means i get to savour those other 2 books longer and get more of my money's worth so it's a win-win

CURRENTLY WATCHING

Not anything really, but i did just recently finish rewatching Over The Garden Wall after probably 5 years.

CURRENTLY CONSUMING

medicine for my Illness, for I am a Sickly Young Man who is being very brave about it and definitely isnt very mad that it's been sick for a WHOLE BLOODY WEEK

also some baked sweet potato yummu yumby yump

CURRENTLY CRAVING

to not be sick so that i can draw again and finish my gay little OFMD fanart that i started

BBQ Pork Buns i love them i love them i love them

TAGGING: @where-am-i-nblwnblm @kerflouie @vendettart @my-good-friend-cosmo And anyone else who wants to do this!!!

Tag 9 people you want to know better

I was tagged by @life-jim-but-not-as-we-know-it :) thanks for the tag!

3 ships: Huh, well, I don’t tend to write a lot of ships myself but they’re certainly fun to read! I’d say Thrawn/Pellaeon (Star Wars) is a favorite, then maybe Sherlock/Watson (ACD Holmes specifically), and Thrawn/Car’das. Honorary mention goes to Thrawn/Nuso Esva!

1st ever ship: Well, it would have to be Steve/Tony (Marvel); that’s the fic I first started reading and that was my friend who recommended all that fic’s favorite, so that’s what I read! It was fun - back in the Avengers-Found-Family days, when I could still stand the movies.

Last song: had one of my somewhat random character playlists on while working this afternoon, so it’s Tell God and the Devil by Solas.

Last movie: Knives Out, which I finally got around to watching while home over Thanksgiving. It was a good one!

Currently reading: Just finished 1491 and 1493 by Charles Mann - nonfiction about Native Americans before and after Columbus. I’m hoping to pick up Star Wars: Rogue Planet - I finally found someone who’s read it and they enjoyed it, so I don’t have to worry it’s going to be unreadably terrible and I can finally get the lore I’m using for D&D from the source instead of Wookiepedia!

Currently watching: Whatever episode of Rebels I think will get me through my writer’s block on this one fic. Ezra’s serious voice is so hard to capture!

Currently consuming: a nice herbal tea

Currently craving: nothing at the moment, but I’ve been off and on craving pizza for a few weeks and haven’t gotten around to fulfilling it. Yet.

I love these, they’re super fun! I never know who to tag though… let’s go with: @ele-millennial-weirdo, @handbaskethell, @evarinaandlat, @jedihlaalu, @emp-roar, @nekobakaz, @jewelliffer, @loud-shimo-screes, @grand-admiral-lawn. Only if you want to! But if you want to, go for it, whether I’ve tagged you or not :)