#so feel free to choose whatever works best! c:

[occkalt]

At first, Kat was over the moon when the ritual seemed to actually work.

It was hard to hold back her excitement! After all, she'd fully been expecting it to be a scam, just like the rest of them - so when she got over the initial shock of realizing that yes, she wasn't dreaming, and this really was real, she'd practically leapt for joy with a grin on her face before skipping along to explore the world she'd found herself in.

Now, though... It's been a while. An hour, maybe? And Kat hasn't run into anyone yet, but more importantly - she doesn't know how to get home. She followed the ritual instructions exactly, so she should be safe, and there should be a way back, but... what she's been seeing is nothing like what she was expecting. It's cold, and dark, and she doesn't know if she's landed herself in a place where everyone's just asleep in their houses, or if there's no-one here at all to begin with...

...It's scary. She doesn't want to admit it, so she kicks her fear aside as best she can - after all, she knew the risks coming in, and no-one said that her goal was going to be easy to achieve. When she reminds herself of what she's accomplished, the warm buzzing of triumph in her chest is almost enough to ward away the cold. But... she does need to find shelter, soon.

Suddenly, she sees someone - a human-looking individual, even! - and suddenly she brightens up. As she approaches, the rush of nervousness still runs through her veins, but still...

"Hey! You're... Are you from around here?"

@g0ir ( starter for annie! )

[blackknight-kai]

I don’t talk about her much, because she changes based on the au I use. The art below for my OC is from the wonderful WKZ who is not on the platform anymore for reasons of their choosing - *Friend if you see this know I appreciate you and you are missed*

If you want more of her let me know 😊 I’m gonna write some fics with her.

OC name: Kavara

(I do have a monkey version of her written out 😊 just not added to this post cuz she’s special and I’m still working on her)

Mix of Modern/Ancient Era traits

- [ ] Shes 5’6”/167 cm tall , shorter than the monkeys, her forehead is at mouth height (I hc them kinda tall? Like 5’10” /177cm or so). She has nice curves/ not too skinny not too hearty and a c/d-cup.

- [ ] She has deep burgundy red hair due to fire based abilities (wip)

- [ ] Amber eyes / almost orange in the right light

- [ ] 6 little dark freckles/moles that are in a straight line all the way down her cheek starting from the far side of her left eye, almost like a tear left stain, like me, (lore thing I’m still thinking about)

- [ ] Depending on what I use her for she has short curly/wavy hair or long curls.

- [ ] Likes peach scented body oil. (😏)

- [ ] Used to look mean - but she is gentle inside.

- [ ] Has to touch everything that’s soft if she walks by it, soft blanket? Gotta touch. Soft monkey? Gotta touch. Also likes being wrapped in cozy soft things. (Likes lots of pillows and blankets on her bed - she runs warm though so likes the air to be cool)

- [ ] Seriously she loves petting his fur…would do it all day long.

- [ ] Doesn’t eat sweets often, too rich for her.

- [ ] Likes sweet fruits though like peaches, plums (likes the tart skin on these the best), and crunchy apples.

- [ ] Dances/wiggles in her seat a little if she likes her food a lot

- [ ] No matter what AU she always finds DO/WK (or his variants) handsome instantly- crush may take longer but she always finds him charming and interesting in his own way.

- [ ] Enjoys messing with DO-Wukong/catching him off guard. Shes a little menace too (especially to those she likes). Enjoys annoying people (but not too much- like if making a pop sound with her mouth repeatedly gets under your skin she’s gonna do it - not to the point of pissing you off but she’s gonna get on your nerves).

- [ ] Chews on stuff sometimes to alleviate aggression/help keep focus/lower anxiety.

- [ ] Not a big drinker but will have a drink or two. Doesn’t mind a drunk monkey.

- [ ] Likes to collect pretty rocks and smooth stones that feel good in her hand.

- [ ] Not big on fancy luxury. Or stuffy clothes.

- [ ] Her weapons are similar to Kratos, (dual blades that can be smoldering etc and have chains she can use to throw them and pull them back. She likes to make big explosions 💀

- [ ] She hides them as earrings so they are always with her.

- [ ] Under her outfit she wears chest wraps to keep girlies together and tight to her chest. She wears the equivalent of panties but a loincloth sash covers her ass and front- legs exposed - this way if she loses her outer wear due to her fire she isn’t nakey.

- [ ] Puts her friends first.

- [ ] Curses internally a lot- sometimes out loud.

- [ ] Again, seems tough/uncaring but she is the most accepting person (as long as you aren’t genuinely bad/do bad shit) and will be the mom friend.

- [ ] Enjoys taking care of DO/WK. wants always help him, he’s her best friend. (Eventual lover)

- [ ] Wants him to feel cared for - and that she’d be there for him.

- [ ] in alt universe’s she would fight the fuckers at the begin of the game for him. Or by his side. She would genuinely die to keep him from having to resign himself to dying just to be free.

None of this is fine tuned but it’s the basic of whatever I got. I changed some stuff to suit my needs so…so I’m sorry if it’s a bit confusing but here we go!

This is a version of her specifically meant to know Wukong before BMW events. (Other versions of her like modern au or whatever I need her for don’t follow this but have similar things)

She is an immortal, one birthed of fire, chaos, destruction, (rebirth if you think about how fire culls the land for new life to grow), the embodiment of the roaring fires on the sun basically.

So in her younger days she is not exactly well liked, shes strong and was someone who didn’t like to held down. She didn’t outright disobey or was rebellious but if something wasn’t right or if she felt slighted/felt someone was slighted she would make that shit known. Quick to anger.

Because of this she had pissed off the wrong person, they placed a curse on her - (again not fine tuned) and it basically is like a black tar root that starts from her heart and starts spreading and coiling around her body the more emotion she feels, specifically negative ones like (seen negative) anger, hatred, fear, all those kinds of emotions.

She can heal, but the pain and the curse will spread to such agonizing levels that if she pushes it too far it will take over her body and encapsulate her/put out the fire in her which keeps her immortal. She of course tries to break the curse but there isnt anything that works. It’s like a spore that is attached to her heart that has molded to her and wont go.

Unfortunately this makes her shut down emotionally, she doesnt have a support system so as much as she tries to fight the agony gets worse and worse. Her fire dims, not dead, just dims. Kavara at this point just does her duties, keeps to herself, and represses all emotions whatsoever. She’s free of pain and honestly doesnt have to worry about shit, so it becomes her new norm.

In comes Sun Fucking Wukong.

The charming egotistical chaotic monkey yaoguai that wants to play immortal. She hears of him mostly, but remains indifferent. Until one day they finally meet.

Probably the worst thing that happens to a lot of people actually…..because Sun Wukong is the first to make her laugh. Ever. Not one of those “haha i am victorious” laughs she might have had when fighting back in the day. No, a full on belly aching laugh. Tears down her face and a wide pretty smile, something she honestly wasn’t capable of/thought she had. (She’s beautiful but never thought about it I guess)

This is the first time she realizes that HAPPY or positive emotions dont make the curse spread.

Wukong of course takes this as his sign to KEEP making her laugh (when he isnt being a little shit in heaven and to others).

Over time they do become friends, he learns of her curse, she learns of his goals. Unfortunately for everyone else Wukong influences her to stop being an emotionless doll and she becomes his partner in crime. Best chaotic duo ever.

THERES MORE BUT THIS IS JUST SOME OF HER STORY!!!

I didn’t wanna give the WHOLE lore, if you want more let me know. It’s quite a bit and a mix of angst & happiness.

Same with a version of her that meets Destined One. It’s a different AU and one that is a bit on the angsty side but I will ALWAYS give a happy ending.

[idyllic-affections]

general friendship headcanons (sumeru).

summary. what is it like being friends with some of sumeru's citizens?

trigger & content warnings. brief & hypothetical mentions of people being creepy towards you.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. alhaitham & reader, collei & reader, cyno & reader, kaveh & reader, nahida & reader, nilou & reader, wanderer & reader, tighnari & reader. 0.9k words. no pronouns for reader.

author's notes. just a lil filler post while i continue working on requests <3 should i make this into a series? i think i will HSKDHDLD sometimes i need things to post in between requests, especially when i get a wave of longer requests.

alhaitham is the kind of friend you can just... sit in the silence with. it's not uncomfortable silence whatsoever—it's, on the contrary, rather comforting and calming. he'll let you sit right up against him if you so please as he reads a book of his. you want to take a nap on him? go for it, he doesn't mind. i like to think that alhaitham finds the weight and pressure to be soothing (neurodivergent alhaitham my beloved...). you want to read your own book? that's fine. maybe you're doing something else—crocheting, knitting, drawing, writing... he really doesn't mind. whatever it is you choose to do, you're welcome to curl up against his side while you do it.

collei is another one you can sit in comforting silence with. she finds it nice just to spend time with her friend! if either of you aren't really interested in doing anything in particular, or if one or both of you aren't feeling great mentally or physically, she's totally cool with sitting in the calm quiet and cloud-gazing together. if you do want to do something, however, she's up for that too! she would also take you on patrol with her, i think, even if you need special accommodations. she'll figure it out. if you want to go with her, she'll find a way c: she's also the kind of friend that would enjoy trading easy & convenient recipes with you.

cyno is definitely the card game friend. you will learn to play tcg. you have no choice. it is your fate. /lh but i also like to think he's a considerably protective friend! he's the one to ask all the questions if you let him know you're planning on going out. he wants to know all the details. are you going with someone? yes? who is it? where are you planning on going? he literally just wants you to be safe, so sometimes it might come off as overbearing or infantilizing, but he really doesn't mean it that way! he genuinely just wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to you that he could have prevented.

kaveh is the kind of friend you could stay up until atrocious hours of the night talking to. also 100% the gossip friend. he'll sit there doing your hair, makeup, nails, or skincare routine—regardless of your gender, whatever you're comfortable with! kaveh genuinely doesn't care as long as you're happy and content—and tell you all of the terrible awful drama he overhears. he's also somewhat protective, but not to cyno's level. he'll inquire about your plans and will then tell you to be safe and have fun! he would feel really bad if something happened, though. really bad. will definitely, 100%, without a doubt tell off any creeps bothering you. he can pretend to be your brother or your boyfriend, whatever you need. he'll do it.

nahida is the therapist friend, in a way. she doesn't completely understand human emotions and thought processes, but she is totally happy to listen to whatever you need to get off your chest! it helps her understand you and other people better, and it (hopefully) helps you feel better. her advice is a little difficult to understand, admittedly... she tries her best though! if you don't understand, feel free to tell her. she'll try to be clearer. it may or may not work, and she has a chance of making her point even more confusing, but she really does try.

nilou is the kind of friend who's happy to do activities with you. she's happy to do anything as long as it's with her friend! she'll take you out to the shopping (only for you two to inevitably return with a ridiculous amount of free gifts for nilou, namely from the grand bazaar vendors...) if you'd like, or she can get you guys tickets to some of her favorite performances! she'd also love to teach you her style of dance if you'd be willing to and are able to learn. if you're not able, though, that's okay! she really doesn't mind. i like to think she'd also be super supportive of you and all your pursuits.

the wanderer is, quite simply, the begrudging friend. he will NOT admit that he cares about you and will claim the exact opposite. he'll say that he absolutely does not care whatsoever (but will then, in the same sentence, berate someone for so much as glancing at you in a way he deems to be wrong). he's a bit emotionally inarticulate—and rightfully so—but he really does care. his ways of showing it are just a little odd and unconventional. he acts like every display of affection ever is such a terrible burden that should not have been put on his shoulders, but secretly really loves holding your hand or giving you a hug. also really likes being held. like. he would die before admitting that but he... he just needs to be held, you know?

tighnari is the kind of friend who tells you all sorts of things—he shares his knowledge so freely with you, it's sort of like a love language. he'll tell you all about the local flora, explaining what plants you could eat in the case of an emergency and what ones you should never even touch. also as his friend you are allowed to touch his ears and tail. imagine habitually fidgeting with them while tighnari doesn't even flinch because, as long as you're always careful and gentle, he trusts you enough for that kind of thing. i bet he is very soft. anyway, i can't explain it, but i just know his hugs are warm and comforting and protective. he definitely gives really good hugs.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[360iris]

not quite learned | professor!miguel o’hara x reader

2k+ word count. small content warning that it is a student/teacher relationship fic, so feel free to skip this one if that’s not your thing. 18+ afab!m/c.

haven’t written, or been insanely active in the fandom, in a good two months maybe? trying to get out of that, hope this is enjoyable to someone <3

Only one thing is for certain, Miguel didn’t intend for things to go this far. But during a brief moment of reflection, he supposes none of the men like him ever really do.

The opportunity arises, and because he’s weak, fundamentally weak to your doe-like eyes, sweet voice and gentle affection— he gives into his impulses, willingly falls victim to his circumstances.

He hadn’t known that you would be so addictive, that once he gave in, there wouldn’t be another point at which he could regain his sane and working mind.

—

You were in his last class of the day, and as was your purely studious custom, you stayed after to ask whatever burning academic questions were plaguing you that day.

In the dark recesses of his thoughts, as he looked you over with a purposefully disinterested dark stare, he privately referred to your choice of presentation as obscenely feminine.

Especially with how you were dressed now— in a thin and lacey, thigh-length dress. Your ears and collarbones decorated with delicate silver jewelry and the tiniest, fucking light pink ribbons wrapped at the ends of two, neat plaits of hair.

He was close to rolling his eyes at that last detail. Finding himself desperately wanting to hate you for making his days significantly more difficult, with just the addition of your presence alone. And if not for the fact that you were always so sweet to him— never failing to brighten his day with your way always approached with an enthusiastically cheerful, “Hey, Miguel!”, he would have successfully manifested, and actively nurtured a deep hatred for you.

Instead, as you ask for pointers on how to proceed with your essay, he sighs deeply and gives an acquiescent nod. “Let me see what you’ve written so far.” He answers in a bored huff, ignoring the way you smile appreciatively at him, before promptly turning on your heel to retrieve your laptop.

You’d set your bag down in one of the front seats of the classroom, and as you bend over the small desk surface to pull open the zipper, Miguel’s eyes are fixed on the way your dress hikes up. And for just a brief moment, the backs of your creamy thighs are exposed to him. He can’t help but take the time to stare, catching a rare glimpse of a part of you he wouldn’t otherwise get to see.

Tearing his eyes away just as you free your computer, he swallows thickly as he watches you approach.

Setting the device in front of him, you choose to stand beside where he currently sat at his desk, leaning forward as you scrolled through the draft of your written assignment.

His mouth and brain were operating separately, delivering level headed advice on one end while focusing on all things concerning you on the other.

He couldn’t care less about the assignment. The older man quickly found that he was more than willing to give you full marks and be done with it, if it meant he could center in on how smooth your skin looked, or how pink your lips were and whether you smelled more like vanilla, or lotus and warmed honey.

During the fifteen minutes he’d spent giving you small pointers on how to push your essay in the right direction, he remained on his best behavior, not once straying off topic or letting his desires get the best of him.

You’d thanked him softly, beginning to put away your laptop and he’d almost patted himself on the back for making it through the interaction when you suddenly pulled a small glass container from your bag.

It held cookies— vanilla something or another, that you had made especially for him, as thanks for his patience with you so far. A supply of patience that seemed to evaporate the second you displayed the baked treats in front of him.

He doesn’t really know what happened next, how A got to B is still a mystery to him, but before he knew it the container of cookies and your bag lay strewn and long forgotten on the floor.

You were so tiny compared to him, his left hand capable of not only cupping your chin but the entire lower half of your face, easily squeezing your cheeks and lips together in the snug hold he has on you.

Miguel didn’t think this far ahead— doesn’t know what possessed him to clear the distance in three or less steps and have you locked in his grasp. But the way you look up at him, not in fear, but quiet anticipation has him considering that perhaps it’d be okay to test the waters further.

“Mr. O’Hara?” Your voice comes out small as you blink up at him, as though there wasn't a doubt in your mind that you were entirely innocent. And in that moment, he couldn't help it, he had to laugh right in your face.

It’s the first time you’ve ever heard or seen him appear anywhere remotely near amused, that it would’ve left you unsettled even if the notes didn’t fall flat. The sound of his ‘laughter’ coming across as sardonic and wholly mocking, the ‘mirth’ he apparently felt not quite reaching his eyes.

“Mr. O’Hara?” He repeats quietly, a dark smirk twinging his lips. As the seconds ticked by, you were starting to feel more and more like a butterfly caught in his web. “What happened to Miguel?”

You merely look up at him, a bit lost for words as he greedily eyes your form.

“You know- just while we’re on the subject, I never gave you explicit permission to call me by my first name. You started that on your own.” He hums, voice even and quiet. “It’s the same way I never explicitly told you that I was free after class… Do you know why that is? Do you have a guess?”

“No?” He asks rhetorically, shaking your head for you when you don’t immediately answer, Miguel leaning down to allow his lips to ghost your ear. “It’s because these aren’t my office hours, mi reinita. That’s what you are, you know. A little queen. That’s exactly how you act, calling me by my first name… taking up my time when you want it. When it suits you.”

“I’m sorry, M-“ You begin apologizing before his hand cupping your face suddenly tightens, not enough to hurt, but just enough to stop you from speaking.

“No quiero disculpas.” He says dismissively, waving you off with his free hand. His speech was quiet, each sentence perfectly enunciated, teasing almost. “Words don’t mean much, actions are everything. Like the cookies you made for me, that’s cute but… I don’t want cookies either.”

His free hand comes to rest on your hip, large and warm as it traces the outline of your waist.

“What do you think?” He asks, his voice soft but his tone coming across as a touch condescending. “Think you can make up for your bad behavior some other way?”

You nod feebly in reply, though the gesture doesn’t seem enough for him as he loosens his grip on your face. “Say it.” He orders evenly.

Your lips part, sucking in a shaky breath as you struggle to maintain eye contact. He was intimidating like this, towering over you, fully caging you in. “I wanna make up for my bad behavior, Mr. O’Hara.”

And it appears to do the trick, because his eyes darken and his jaw ticked as he looked down at you like he was seconds away from devouring a meal whole.

“Dicho como una niña buena.” He replies quietly, lids low. His face was so close to yours, air fanned your cheeks as he spoke. “Is that what you’re gonna be for me, mi reinita? Are you going to be a good girl?”

“Yes, sir.” You answer, voice barely above a whisper.

“Typically, I’d want to keep my eyes on your face but—“ He trails off, turning you in the opposite direction before you feel him place a hand at your back, wordlessly instructing you to lean forward until your torso is lying flush against the front row desk. “It’s not everyday that I get to see this end of you.”

Face hovering over the table with your hands laid flat against its surface, you attempt to focus on your breathing, trying your best not to fidget in place as he lifts the hem of your dress until your ass is on full display.

Miguel lets out a low whistle as he registers the lace cream thong you’re fitted in, his eyes drifting up the length of your body. “You’re a little naughty underneath too, aren’t you?”

“Maybe just… a bit prepared.” You answer quietly, cheek pressing into the desk as you look back at him over your left shoulder. And Miguel is finding that it’s harder and harder to think as more and more blood is redirected from his brain to somewhere more easily excitable.

“Walking around campus ready to be bent over, hm?” He asks, not expecting an answer as he runs his finger underneath the strap of the waistband. “All the pink ribbons and lace is just a distraction, isn’t it? Otherwise people would know what you really want.”

“What is it that I want, Professor?” You ask innocently, playing the part of being just a touch naive, your bottom wiggling the smallest amount as you attempt to discreetly ease the slowly growing ache between your thighs.

If Miguel catches the movement, he doesn’t comment on it.

Brushing the pads of his fingers against your chubby folds, he prods at your entrance through the small area of fabric, not covering much of anything, experimentally. Pressing inside and allowing the pitiful excuse for underwear to go along with his digits.

“The same thing I want.” He answers simply, his poker face unreadable as you whimper at the odd but gratifying sensation he briefly grants you.

You watch in awe as he pulls the fabric aside, licking a wide strip along his middle and ring fingers, rubbing his slick digits at your cunt before dipping them inside of you.

Your mouth parts as he stretches you open, unceremoniously making room for himself in that warm and welcoming place between your legs.

“Mhm, that’s it…” He hums appraisingly as the slip and slide of his fingers gradually becomes increasingly easier as he massages your spongy walls.

Hooking his fingers inside of you, his wrist jostles about, causing your voice to slip out despite yourself as his pace increases. Your feet begin to lift off the floor from how spirited his ministrations become. Miguel’s hand glistening with your arousal, small droplets dripping from his skin and onto the dark carpeted flooring.

It becomes clear that you’re fighting a losing battle in the way the more you try to contain your voice, the harder he seems to work at getting you to audibly cry out despite the space the two of you are occupying.

“What are you holding back for?” He asks, as though he doesn’t know.

“B- because…” You protest in a high pitched shriek, clasping one of your hands to your mouth, the other gripping the edge of the desk to anchor yourself from how hard he’s fucking his fingers into you.

Leaning forward, Miguel playfully nips at your ear, the older man chuckling mischievously at how affected you are by him before he whispers, “Let me hear you.”

You frantically shake your head no, tears brimming in your eyes as your climax approaches.

Sure, you’d had fantasies about something like this occurring between the two of you— but never in a million years had you thought that you’d be pressed into the same desk you stressed about studying for your midterm at, minutes away from cumming on his fingers.

“Can’t, can’t.” You whine, your cries muffled against your palm as he shushes you.

“None of that,” He replies calmly, increasing his speed. “No more whining, niña preciosa. Just let go for me. You said you’d make it up to me, didn’t you?”

You nod weakly, lost in the way he’s making you feel. Lost in how lulling his voice is when he wants it to be.

“Then make it up to me.” He coos soothingly against your neck. “Let go. I’ve got you.”

[pars-ley]

hi!! congrats on 800 🥳🥳 and i have a request for the prompt event!! could i please request hoseok with a coffee shop au/genre, and prompt #6 ("How do you expect me to focus, when you're walking around wearing that?") 🤍 fluffy and smutty and all things lovely please <33 and congratulations again!!

Title: Ultimate blend Pairing: Hoseok x female reader Summary: Becoming friends with your coffee shop owner crush wasn't part of your plan…so how do you get him to see you as more than that? Genre: friends to lovers / coffee shop au / smut / fluff Rating: 18+ (NSFW) Warnings: slight exhibitionism / oral (f.receiving) / unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) / brief breast play / seduction / sex in a coffee shop / W/C: 2.1k Banner: @beomcoups thank you for the masterpiece! Beta: @ctrlhope thank you, super helpful! Taglist: @asillyduck15 Notes: thank you so much for this request! As soon as I saw Hoseok was out of the military it gave me the inspiration I needed. I hope you enjoy! If anyone would like to send a request, with or without the prompt game, feel free.

The bell rings as you enter your favourite coffee shop, a quiet, pleasant jingle that reminds you why you enjoy coming here, time and time again. The coffee wasn't anything mind blowing, the food was average at best, but it was not those things that kept you coming back. It was him. 

“I'm afraid we're closed!” Hoseok calls out from the back room.

Glancing around at the chairs turned upside down on top of the tables, you choose to ignore him. Your heels click along the hard floor, seeming to echo in the unusually silent shop, as you tighten the belt on your coat and slowly follow the sound of his voice. 

You'd both struck up a genuine friendship since you discovered his establishment, exchanging numbers and even spending time together outside work hours on occasion. With his sunshine personality, it wasn't difficult but keeping this relationship platonic was.

There were times you were sure he was flirting, possibly interested in something more. Yet the moment you thought about making a move, it would pass and he would return to his usual friendly manner. He consumes your thoughts, there was no chance he could escape from your mind and therefore, you had made the executive decision to finally let him know how you feel.

And boy, were you about to blow his mind.

He'd sent you a text earlier saying he was closing and was planning to send all other staff home – you saw this as your opportunity. The thought of the aftermath if this went well had excitement blooming inside you, like budding flowers opening up in spring.

“Sorry, but we're-” he starts, but his words disappear when he sees you, surprise evident in the way his eyebrows shoot upwards. “Y/n, what a nice surprise.”

His opening grin has your heart aching. You have to bite your lip, holding in a dreamy sigh that threatens to escape.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asks, stepping back around to the counter.

“I just thought, seeing as you're alone, you might like some help cleaning up?” You shrug, nonchalantly.

He watches you quizzically, “Really? You came here just to help me clean?”

Nodding you lean over the counter, chin resting on your hand. “Then maybe we could go for dinner after…if you're not busy?”

Your eyes do not waver from his. The hunger that simmers just under the surface makes your skin feel hot under your Mac. 

“I'd like that.” He responds with a genuine, heart pounding smile that almost takes your breath away. 

“Perfect,” you stand and look around the shop, “What would you like me to do? Clean the floor?”

He disappears into the back room and returns with the mop and bucket, “That would be fantastic.” He pauses, “Are you sure you don't mind?”

Shaking your head, you walk around to the entrance at the side of the counter, “Four hands are better than two, we'll be out of here in no time.”

Throwing him a wink, he slides the bucket over to you before heading to the back room to resume whatever he was doing before you came in.

Walking over to the windows, you pull the blinds closed and lock the door. Smiling to yourself as you undo the belt of your coat and slide it off, before draping it over a chair, the cold air hits you and sends goosebumps cascading across your skin. Your nipples hardening, however, are from more than the evening chill. With your back towards Hoseok, you grab the mop and soak it before rubbing it across the floor. You manage to have made it halfway across the room before you hear Hoseok's footsteps returning to the shop floor. You cannot keep the smirk off your face as you listen closely for his reaction. 

*SMASH*

The loud noise makes you jump slightly as you turn innocently to glance over your shoulder at him. “Are you ok?”

Your view is almost comical. His frame frozen - mouth agape as his gaze remains fixed to your body. Eyes practically bulging at the sight of your half naked form. 

“Do you need help with that?” You ask, already moving around the counter. The sight of the broken white mugs scattered on the floor turn you on, and you drop to your knees directly in front of him to start picking up the shards of porcelain. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” He says finally.

“What does it look like? I'm helping clean up,” You look up at him through your eyelashes and you're sure you see his crotch twitch in his trousers, “Come on, lazy.” 

You stand and empty the shards into the bin, not bothering to spare him another glance as you go back to mopping, jutting your backside out purposefully.

You sense him closing some of the distance between you as he speaks, “How do you expect me to focus, when you're walking around wearing that?”

Slowly, you turn and face him, dropping the mop and running your hands down the sides of your body, relishing the feel of your lace lingerie set under your fingers, “Oh, is my outfit distracting you?” Your heels click against the floor as you descend upon him and he cannot look away from you. 

“Would you prefer I took this off?” You let your bra strap fall off one shoulder teasingly, as there's only mere centimetres between you both. The air around you has turned thick and hot, charged with tension and promise. 

His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you have to resist the urge to squeeze your legs together for some relief. He doesn't miss the way your eyes land on his mouth, seizing his chance to pull you towards him, slamming your bodies together. His lips find yours immediately - the taste of him incomparable to anything else. Sunshine on a rainy day, freshly baked bread warm from the oven, gooey chocolate chip cookies; nothing can even come close. Exploring his mouth was better than you could've imagined. His hand finds your lower back and holds you tightly against him, which you gladly obey. His erection digging into your thigh makes you eager for him. Your hands tangle in his hair, gripping and pulling him closer still. 

Your legs being effortlessly scooped out from under you makes you squeal, and as he sits your bare bottom on the cold countertop, the sound only grows. He smiles against your mouth, his hands travelling desperately over your body. Feeling along a pathway of his own desires - mapping out your skin for him alone. 

When he pulls away, you're left gasping for air, forgetting you have been barely breathing. Focusing on much more important things, like Hoseok's tongue and the way it feels dancing with yours.

He stares at your legs, letting his hands glide up the sleek stockings, until they pause at the waistband of your lace thong. His eyes meet yours, pupils blown wide and desperate - begging you to answer the question left unasked. His last bit of restraint hangs in the air. 

You nod frantically, giving him what he wants. He pulls it off, stuffing it into his pocket. Raising an eyebrow, waiting for you to challenge him, yet you don't - wouldn't dare to. The thought of what he might do with them later had your teeth digging into your bottom lip as possibilities raced through your mind.

He spreads your legs and traces featherlight fingertips along your sex, groaning when he feels your arousal. Not wasting a second before bringing his fingers straight to his mouth and tasting you. Eyes on you the entire time. Your hips buck upwards slightly, desperate for him to touch you again.

“You are delicious.” He says. Before you have time to respond his mouth envelopes your folds, licking and sucking in the most slow and sensual way. It makes you want to scream.

You slam a hand over your mouth in an attempt to keep the noise to a minimum, but he takes it and moves it back down, shaking his head.

“I want to hear you, baby.”

His mouth continues its onslaught, tongue moving in expert fashion, circling your clit and building up that tight pull inside you.

The way he laps at your moisture, like a man starved before returning straight back to your swollen bud. When he sucks the sensitive bean, pleasure shoots straight through you, arching your back and curling your toes.

Gasping and panting, feeling ready to explode if he continues, your skin feels aflame. Your hands grapple at his hair as you grind yourself against mouth, needy for release. 

His hands find their way under your butt cheeks, squeezing the flesh, before using them to push you up into his face. When he moans against you, the vibration tips you over the edge, making that taut string inside you snap and you come unravelling around him. Waves of euphoria wash over you. Your body twitching as he laps up every last bit of arousal off your swollen lips. 

As your ecstasy dissipates and you can breathe again. Yet, he only gives you a moment of reprieve before he's pulling you upright, greeting you with a tender kiss. You melt into it. The tiredness overtaking your body doesn't last long, when you taste yourself on his lips, lighting a new fire in your belly. 

His mouth trails down your neck, to your breasts. As he pulls your bra down, revealing you to him. He moans, making your sex throb with new desire.

“Y/n, I need to be inside you.” He looks up at you with a pained expression.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you kiss him again - deep and hungry. 

“Then take me.”

He lifts you off the counter, spinning you around. You wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you into the back room.

Your back is against a cold wall before you know it, making you shiver. The warmth of his body, the complete opposite as he presses himself against you. Hearing him undo the belt of his jeans and listening to the clang as they hit the floor, has excitement pounding directly in your chest. 

Feeling the tip of him at your entrance, he pauses, giving you another questioning look. You can only nod furiously. Too eager to wait to feel him any longer, want and need pooling deep inside you. You’re unable to help the way your hips move in a desperate attempt to entice him into you quickly.

He throws a sideways smirk your way before thrusting gently inside. You can’t help but gasp, relishing in the way he's stretching you open. He gives you a moment to adjust when he bottoms out, taking the opportunity to kiss you. The movement slow and sensual, the mood completely changing. 

He gives you one last sweet peck on the lips before pounding into you, keeping an even pace as you bounce up and down, back sliding harshly against the brick wall. 

“Fuck, you are so sexy.” He says, watching your breasts bounce from his thrusting action.

His fingers dig into your buttocks as he holds you firmly. His cock ramming inside you, hitting that sensitive stop every time without fail. 

Stars appear beneath your lids as your eyes roll back. Your hips meet his with every thrust, moving in perfect sync. The sounds of his pants and moans make your toes curl and legs tighten around him. You were drawing ever closer into the abyss. When he grabs your breasts, pinching the nipple, you tighten around him.

“You gonna come again for me, baby?”

Fingers gripping a fistful of his hair, you can't speak. Your words; trapped in your throat as you're unable to think of anything but the impending release. 

He slams into you harder but slows down the pace. Every hit on that internal pleasure button makes you grow hotter. Until finally, fireworks erupt inside you once more. 

The moment your walls contract around him, he chases his high, unleashing inside you. His warm seed fills you, as you rotate your hips, milking him and also riding your own wave of carnal delight.

As your breathing returns and your vision clears from the erotic fog, he returns your feet to the ground. Supporting you until he feels you're steady enough, using the motion to plant feather light kisses across your face.

“I have to say,” he starts, still pinning you to the wall, “this was a very unexpected surprise.”

“Well, seeing as my flirting was clearly too subtle, I needed to give you a bigger clue.”

A hearty laugh echoes around you, one of the many traits that attracted you to him in the first place.

“I just thought you were a very friendly person, but the message is received loud and clear,” His hands roam the sides of your body, “and it is very much reciprocated.” 

He lifts your face to him with a knuckle under your chin, “I think you're wonderful.”

For the first time this evening your cheeks flush. The man had been french-kissing your pussy not twenty minutes ago and yet, that makes you blush.

“Right back to you.”

He leans in and kisses you so sensually your knees feel like they could collapse, before pulling back slightly and whispering against your lips, “Dinner at my place?”

Your stomach flips from the idea of being in his house and all the prospects of what else you could do to each other. 

“Definitely.” You reply, as his soft lips meet yours one more time.

[highpriestess13]

Collective Reading

There’s a dream or goal that’s attached to your imagination. You could be hoping that something’s pays off or goes through and you’re needing to keep holding onto that faith but don’t lose yourself in it find the necessary balance that you need to keep yourself grounded & stabile. There’s a masculine energy that’s coming towards you with a stable offer/ opportunity… the letter “O” is significant. For others this may be a father or grandfather… 1111 is confirmation. April 4th and 11th is significant too. I also see a celebration maybe someone’s father/ grandfather could be celebrating a birthday but I definitely see a gift being handed to someone.. this could also be an ancestor as well. Speaking of ancestors, I see tapping into or is wanting to get to know their ancestry and may even dabble into some things 👀. Heavy energy around planting seeds and roots. Some of you could be wondering where your roots/ foundation come from.. I’m hearing indigenous. Someone could be picking out an outfit for something for others I see someone picking out offerings or maybe wanting to know offerings to get/ choose especially if it’s food. Some of you may work with herbs or the energy of the earth or your ancestors were herbalists, shamans I’m also picking up on scrying. Something with gold or copper offering bowls are significant. The number 13 is significant along with the moon. No more suffering, no more pain… you have a clear path. Once you stop worrying and start trusting the path that you’re on, you’ll begin to receive. Your mind is too cluttered, release guilt, anger or whatever it is that’s keeping you in your head… I kept hearing “clearing” or “clear”. Crows and the letter “C” is significant too. After every disappointment there’s always something new on the other side. Stop being so hard on yourself and start expressing yourself.. it’s giving “just do it”. There’s many things that you’re changing and switching and spirit is also doing this as well. You’re no longer needing to strategize and have every in order or a certain but you will need to just relax and enjoy the ride and the journey. Set yourself free from limiting beliefs because you’re limitless and entitled to everything why? Because the world is your oyster. Many of you have elevated or made this conscious decision to do this. Someone could be a lawyer or judge or may go into profession or a marriage counselor, pope/ pastor. Something about wedding or wedding reception.. you could be singing at someone’s wedding… I keep hearing “concession stand” 😂. Some of you could be mediators or negotiators, could be winning a case as well or helping someone or others to do this. Whatever it may be, it’ll bring all of supporters and followers. Someone could be breaking from challenges especially if it’s addictions, I’m getting more so smoking and drinking. Someone may even be celebrating their celibacy or sobriety. You’re facing danger with a smile on your face, you’re no longer allowing yourself to YOU back. You’re no longer afraid challenges and obstacles but instead you’re more than ready and prepared to face them. For others, someone may be finding out that the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. Someone took a leap of faith only to met with dry land beneath them. For some of you, you could be tired of feeling this way but best believe there’s a new cycle that you’re already in or already in that’s bringing MANY much needed changes, evolution, and transformation.. the number 13 is confirmation. You could be feeling very tired lately & it’s because you’re closing old cycles and entering new ones and best believe you’re also shifting maybe in your sleep too!

[sunskate]

CPom Golden Skate interview at Budapest Trophy:

Christina and Anthony congratulations on winning the Challenger here in Budapest. how did this competition go for you?

C: it went well. we skated pretty clean, but there's a lot that we want to do better. we've been skating a lot better at home, we had more attack and more speed. so this week felt a little bit tired, but overall we're happy about how it went

A: like Christina said, we've done a lot better at home, and we have a really good training block coming now before NHK to refine and work on details and push the program even more

you have the late Grand Prix - was that why you decided to do a 2nd Challenger in order to prepare?

C: yeah, we wanted to get out early. we get a lot of feedback from these competitions, so we have time now to go home and to adjust whatever we need to adjust and train hard and be ready for NHK

A: every competition we learn something new, so it's to get as much as possible before the Grand Prix, even during the Grand Prix. it's always a learning experience. so we love competitions like this to grow and learn

you have 2 Grand Prix in Asia, that's a bit unusual. are you going to stay in Asia for the whole 3 weeks?

C: no, we're going home- we talked about staying in Asia, but we wanted it to feel like 2 separate competitions, and staying there would feel like one big trip so we're going home for a week to reset and then we're coming to China

A: Scott really pushed for the two separate weeks - come home, regroup, get some laundry done, get a little bit of work done on the programs, and come back stronger, so we're following the advice of our coaches, and we agree that this is the best option for us, and we're looking forward to the challenge

do you have any specific goals going into the Grand Prix?

C: we want to skate really strong programs, and we want to try and make the Final (laughs)

yeah, i mean with your good result at Worlds this is the next goal

A: winning a medal would be awesome - we've been 4th now for 5 straight Grand Prix, so breaking into that podium would be really special, and if our good performances lead us to more medals and make the Final, we'd be really happy with that

want to talk a little more about your free dance to Carmen - let's start with the outfits. because they are not really usual - with Carmen everyone expects this red dress, and you chose yellow - how come?

C: we wanted to bring a freshness and something new to the program. and red was done a lot, and this has been like - everyone around us, US Figure Skating wanted me to look a little different. and when we brought the idea to Mathieu, our costume designer, he automatically thought of gold, and that's kind of the only thing he saw. he was really open with all the changes, but he saw gold. and we really trust him, and whatever he chooses usually turns out great, yeah, that's why i'm in gold, and he's a soldier

A: this concept has been done quite a bit, and we wanted to still keep the traditional feel to it, it is a classic, we wanted to keep the classic, but add our own twist to it. with the costumes, with the structure of the music. everything, so we just wanted to play around with it and see what we could come up with. we wanted to skate to this for years, and having this now come to life it's pretty special

i remember you said at Nebelhorn yeah you wanted to do this for years. why do you think now was the right moment?

C: we got back from Worlds, and Madi was like so what are we thinking for next year? and we were both like - nothing other than Carmen, like that's all we wanted

A: from the day after Worlds i just knew, and i think Christina had the same train of thought. we knew that it was time, it was time to push it and do Carmen. it took a lot of convincing

perfect, thank you so much, congratulations and see you at the Grand Prix

[spring-into-arda]

Minhiriath Midway Step up, step in, let's see what you win! The Minhiriath Midway is full of games and fun!  Spin the wheel, try your luck at the Crablor Grab, and see what prompts you get by the luck of the draw (or keep playing until you find something you like).  You can use the Midway any time during March, and beyond!

Blue Ribbon Exhibition The Prince of Cardolan loves to acknowledge hard work and creativity.  Enter your finest works into the Blue Ribbon Exhibition as an exhibition challenger.  Challengers will compete against others for the title of Best of Cardolan in the categories they enter.  All entries for the Blue Ribbon Exhibition are due by noon on June 1, 2024.

Dappled Dapper Pony Picture Coloring Contest The Dappled Dapper Pony Picture Coloring Contest (D²P²C²) is a very basic coloring contest event. Everyone starts with the same base image, and colors and embellishes their pony in whatever way they choose. 

Dappled Dapper Drabbled Pony Race  The Dappled Dapper Drabbled Pony Race is a team writing event which is being run as part of the Cardolan Carnival, a Back to Middle-earth Month 2024 Event.  For groups of 2 to 6, three races will be run throughout the month.  

Lost Treasures Quest  Part of Back to Middle-earth Month is revisiting works that are already in the world -- old favorites and new discoveries.  For the Lost Treasures Quests, you will be able to choose from leaving new commentary on works posted or written before 2020, making rec lists, working on WIPs (writing or art) that are at least a year old or more, or posting works currently unavailable publicly or at a new archive. 

The Prince of Cardolan's Grand Gala; April 12-14 The Grand Gala is a live event held on Discord.  During the event, winners of the various competitions will be announced (with the exception of the Blue Ribbon Exhibition), games will be played, live readings will occur, and generally, it will be a grand time.

Additionally, B2MEM is an open event where ANYTHING you create during March counts!  Feel free to add works you start, add to, or finish in March to the gallery!  You can also host your own events -- let us know what you're up to, and we'll add your event to the list of festivities!

Timeline of Events

The Midway will open on February 24, 2024. 

The Blue Ribbon Exhibition categories will be posted on March 1, 2024.  Entries are due by noon on June 1, 2024.  Winners will be announced at the Tarnin Austa event. 

The Lost Treasures Quest gameboard will be available no later than Feburary 24, 2024.

The Grand Gala will take place April 12-14, 2024. Cancelled. All activities moved to June. Announcements to follow.

Posting & Viewing Works

Beginning March 1st, 2024, works can be posted to the AO3 collection. This collection never closes, so while the event will wrap by the end of April, you can always add works later as you are inspired and finish them. If posting on Tumblr, use the tag B2MEM24 and @ this tumblr to make your posts easy to find by our team for reblogs!  You can join the Discord at any time! 

[v3nusxsky]

Right I need a good hurt/comfort fic cause my parental issues are kicking my ass atm. If you don't mind could you please write a Larissa weems x non-binary reader where r is a student (of legal age of course) where r and Larissa are in an established relationship but haven't taken the next step in their relationship yet. During parents weekend both of r's parents end up coming despite them being separated since r was a little kid so typically they take turns. This is the first time Larissa has properly gotten to meet them both and together so when r's dad shows up drunk and their mum's deadnaming them, larissa is concerned to say the least. Throughout the weekend it gets worse and they are both constantly and very loudly fighting about anything and everything while using r as their mediator. Larissa notices how different r is from their parents since r is very reserved and logical to the point of coming off as cold to people who don't know them well but before Larissa can think too hard about that r comes bursting into her office and immediately starts to kiss and undress her. Larissa is happy r wants to finally take the next step but is very confused at why now and why r is letting their emotions get the best of them so forces r to stop and talk to her. This leads to r breakdown in Larissa's arms (something she's never seen before) and explains that they can't handle their parents anymore and they just need Larissa to make r forget about them. Feel free to end it however you like, thank you!

Make me forget| h&c slight 18+

*Authors note~this fic has been haunting my brain bc I want to do it justice and I hope I have now that it's really ready to post.*

Trigger warnings~ non binary r family issues sexualising one's self, sex as a coping mechanism meltdowns drunk dad separated parents dead naming

Prompt~see ask^^^^

❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆❆

Parent's weekend was something you'd been anxious for now for the past week, your parents would attend for your youngest sibling Dahlia while having no idea that you taught here. Not only that but that you go by your chosen name not your dead name. They also weren't privy to the knowledge that you happened to be dating the principal. Larissa Weems loved you for what you are on the inside, not the name you were born with or what gender you resonate with. You are you, and that's why she loved you. Together you both knew what it felt like to be misunderstood for what you are and that's why you would always try to prevent these things occurring in Nevermore Academy.

Larissa knew of your sister, but your sister had yet to stumble across you, you'd actively been dodging her since her arrival. So we one safe kiss of reassurance you both headed down to begin parents weekend. Your mother was first to arrive, as emotionless as she always was until she laid eyes on Dahlia, only when she caught sight of you did her eyes darken in anger and she muttered, "Lia? Who's that thing over there?" Ouch, but before she could even turn to see you, your dad came stumbling through the gates, three sheets to the wind. Truly nothing had changed here.

As a child you spent every week bouncing from house to house and parent to parent but neither provided you with the love and care you deserved. Your dad was always drunk or hungover, there's no middle here. Your mother took things hard when you came out, refusing your new name, "I named you for a reason, that's your name! Not whatever monstrosity you came up with" her words stung, you spent ages souring the internet for the perfect name. And she didn't even hear what you choose, just dismissed you straight away.

Right away your parents are way to busy arguing to notice you approaching them until your sister screams you're new name and runs into your arms. "I missed you Lia bug" you murmured into her ear before whispering, "I work here now bug" which caused your sister to beam back at you. "What are you doing here?" Your mother almost snarled at you. Of course she dead named you. Your dad chirped in about how a creature like you shouldn't be working in schools where you influence children. After all he blamed your mother and she blamed him. You and Lia were always caught in the crossfire, just how it always has been.

By the end of the evening you'd had enough so you set off in search for your girlfriend. Barging in through her the mahogany doors and immediately stormed over to your unsuspecting love. You immediately gabbed the lapels of her blazer and smashed your lips to hers in a hurry, hands tugging at her clothing and your own in a desperate blind need to feel something, anything.

At first Larissa reciprocated the desire until she realised this felt wrong, you'd both spoke about how the first time together would go and this wasn't it so the fact you were trying to rip her dress from her body, you'd removed your own shirt before Larissa managed to brace her hands on your shoulders, "hey hey hey love, slow down darling slow down. Talk to me" she murmured as you attempted to avoid her gaze. Those words was all it took for you to start sobbing, "I'm sorry I'm sorry so so sorry I'm god sorry" over and over again as you collapsed.

As Larissa came to hold you after wrapping her blazer around you she began to realise just how much you were the opposite of your parents. You had never broken down like this before so whatever they did was clearly bothering you and it hurt her heart to see. "Can't do this they just Ris help make me feel. Please need to feel good please Ris make their words go away make it all better please." You mumbled over and over as you sobbed into her shoulder. A soothing hand rubbing circles on your back as you cried it out. Larissa promised herself here and now that she would never let your parents hurt you ever again. For the rest of the evening Larissa doted on, drew you a bath and got a some snacks, just held you and showered you in love and comforting words.

Word count~ 1085

[dumplingsfordays]

eyes are the windows of the soul

++++

ok so hihi, first time writing stuff for a fandom...

this one's kinda self indulgent because (cough cough) dainsleif (cough cough) anyways

i don't think i mentioned any female anatomy but reader's pronouns are she/her and she works at a coffee shop! so yeah

also lots and lots of pining from reader because dainsleif is absolutely perfect

(but you can apply this to any other blonde, blue-eyed reserved man if you want to bc his name isn't mentioned)

umm yeah so not proofread!!, might be mistakes / errors so feel free to correct! english is not my first language so i'm sorry if i make any mistakes. also written in third person.

art found on pinterest through @cartavaya_vorona, i couldn't find the original artist (sorry!)

++++

The more (y/n) fell in love with him, the more her desire to truly understand him grew.

He was mysterious, reserved. They hadn't even talked, but (y/n)'s gaze always lingered on his long, dark blue cloak when he would pass by the counter while the customer in front of her ordered their coffee. She would fumble with the trays of freshly-baked lemon tarts when his image came into her mind - gorgeous blonde hair, deep cerulean eyes which she could never make eye contact with, but he was always expressionless. His smile, by far, was the most puzzling thing about him, and (y/n) was determined to uncover that mystery, whatever it took. She'd always make sure his order was right, make little jokes when she'd bring his coffee and food to the small table in the corner where he always sat, but none of those things seemed to work. He just always thanked her, politely but quietly, still with that neutral expression on his face, and resumed reading whatever book he was holding, to her dismay.

This happened routinely for around two months now. He would come in, usually between six to seven in the afternoon, and order a medium cappuccino with no sugar and a quiche. He'd sit down and eat, and when the café closed at eight, he would thank (y/n) with a simple nod before exiting.

But on one calm, late September evening, when the sun painted the sky in brilliant shades of red and orange and purple that poured through the windows like molten gold, when (y/n) stood behind the counter, washing the used coffee cups in the sink, when the man that she'd been thinking of at that moment entered the café, he came up to her and waited silently until she would see him.

(y/n) sensed his presence, and swiveled her head around to meet his gaze. However, this time, she couldn't look away. Her (e/c) eyes widened.

She felt so heavy, and yet so light at the same time, like she was drifting along a cold river, and staring upwards at the sky. It was littered in multicolored stars, with the bright full moon hanging to the left of her vision, and when she felt a particularly cold current sweep past her, she felt a twinge of pain, of etherealness, of tainted purity, and her heart began to throb in a sort of sweet bitterness. She blinked, and was back in this world, in her cafe.

“Oh, hello,” she said, cringing inwardly as she looked away, at the wooden surface of the counter. She was probably staring before. “Would you like your usual?”

“No, actually.” (y/n) spotted him twiddling his thumbs in her peripheral vision. “I would like to try something new today. What is your favorite item on the menu?”

She paused. She didn’t expect this, not in a million years.

“Um… I'm actually not sure. I think I like all of them, but if I had to choose… I do really enjoy the éclairs.”

“I’ll have one of those then, please. And a cappuccino.”

“You sure love your coffee, huh?” (y/n) chuckled.

“I do.” The man nodded, and went to the seating area (which was surprisingly fairly empty), taking a seat at a table closer to the counter. At first, (y/n) didn't notice - she wanted to select the best éclair for him so he wouldn't think ill of her recommendation, and after she brewed the coffee and put everything on a thin wooden tray, she strode over to his usual seat by the window in the corner, but then noticed he wasn't there. She blinked in confusion a couple of times, before finally finding him sitting at a table that was still adjacent to the wall, but was one column closer to the counter. Trying to hide the fact that her face was light pink from embarrassment, she walked to his table and set everything down. She met his eyes again, but this time more shyly.

“Let me know if anything tastes bad.” She hated how her voice squeaked against her will just now.

“I will. Thank you,” he replied, and (y/n) could swear that she saw just the faintest glint of gentleness in his deep azure eyes. Giddly, and with a gigantic smile on her face, she smiled, and rushed off back to the counter with her head turned away. Jesus Christ, could she be any more obvious?

She speed-walked into the kitchen, sat down on a low stool across from one oven, and covered her (probably very) red face with her hands. Never before had the man shown any emotion, with the exception of mild frustration, and seeing his eyes slightly crinkle at the ends and sparkle with this sort of softness sent pleasant shivers down (y/n)'s spine. 

Eyes are truly the windows of the soul, she thought. 

[spicybylerpolls]

I mean... people act differently in the bedroom. Just point blank, if you look at your friend and go "she would never do that nah." Its possible, she could be a closet freak. No one acts like themselves in the bedroom. So nothing is really out of character unless there is canon material for how they act in such situations.

i just found this on a reddit thread that complains about smut being out of character in fandom in general and it seems like these debates we have re: byler (esp top and bottom, sub and dom) happen everywhere, and tbh, that fact alone speaks volumes? the above argument has been used for byler on this very blog! while it is technically true, it also seems to me to be a bit too obvious and a crutch/excuse for bad writing. for example, the duffers could have said 'mike has never been in a mall before s3, who knows how he'll react?' and then he's opening s3 just twerking on the mall fountain while waving his top around cos he's so excited about all the new shops and the free cinema trips and ice cream. i mean, technically its possible, but is that really mike?

thats a very infantile example because sexuality is complex. but my point is: I KNOW people do act differently in the bedroom, because it brings out another side of people, but the point stands about what 'out of character' actually means, and in writing you need a set of rules decreeing the boundaries of a fictional character - a personality outline - because otherwise their edges blur and they become everyone and no one. and i think this is the problem with lots of smut, as this user wrote:

It's sex scenes where characters stop being themselves and just start being people who are having sex. The sex scenes that feel very could-be-in-any-fandom. Like, for example, when people stop talking like themselves, and not because it's dirty talk or kink or whatever.

THIS! the amount of smut i've read where mike and will could suddenly be interchangeable with any character from any story anywhere, because theyre just two bodies doing sex acts. there are carbon copy phrases and buzzwords (apparently there's even a famous essay on this, says one user: 'you may enjoy ariaste's one finger/two fingers/three fingers/cock rant...')

this is what i mean when i say bad writing. someone on the thread explained that 'A lot of fanfiction is wish-fulfillment, and many of us want to believe the characters we're attracted to are sex gods, even if there's no canonical evidence of it.' the idea of mike and will being sex gods made me laugh and i think very few people who discuss byler seriously here believe they would be, but the operative phrase here is 'characters we are attracted to.' i think this is an unspoken part of fandom, and what divides fans who create fanworks, and original creators. the argument 'the duffers aren't creeps for writing teen sex so why are we?' does hold much water, not because writing smutfic makes you a creep, but because fans are infatuated with characters in a way that original creators usually aren't.

but why not? i dont think it's weird or bad to fall in love with a character. but this still doesnt answer the question of why many writers choose to lean towards this tried-and-typical smut style rather than aiming to emulate the characterisation or writing style of the original creators. so....

why do people think this might be? here are some of my suggestions, and i would love if some of the people who respond are also people who have written/thought about writing their own smut and answer honestly about their thought processes! choose the best that applies to you. thanks to all who partake!

A) the only access to erotic literature i've had in general is via fanfiction, so i can't see any other way of writing it.

B) i've read published erotic fiction and i end up emulating that rather than fanfiction, so i dont think my work is tropey or fanfic-typical.

C) i've read published novels that include sex written in a way i like, so i try to take inspiration from that instead.

D) i write sex the way I have sex/think about sex i've had in real life.

E) i write sex the way I imagine/want to have sex in real life, and this is mostly influenced by porn/fanfiction fantasies.

F) i write sex the way i imagine/want to have it in real life, and this is mostly influenced by my own individual imagination/life experience rather than porn/fanfiction.

G) i prefer the writing style in much of smut fanfiction (e.g. tropes and well-used phrases) because i find them genuinely realistic to character.

H) i prefer the writing style in much of smut fanfiction (e.g. tropes and well-used phrases) because i find them hottest and i typically prioritise this over realistic characterisation.

I) i worry that if my smut is too personal or doesnt read as familiar, people won't like it and i typically (but not always) prioritise audience response over artistic expression or experimentation. i want to add to the canon of byler smut in a familiar way.

J) i try to prioritise what i genuinely think the characters would do during sex rather than my own fantasies/projections/aspirations for either the characters or for myself.

K) i don't usually think this hard about smut.

L) i believe that smut fanfiction, including tropes and well-used buzzwords, does make genuinely compelling and wonderful reading, and i'm happy with the state of smut in general.

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[deerbornintuitive]

Autumn Messages Pick a Pile

Hello, and welcome to your autumn spirit message. These are mini-readings about what you need to be made aware of for this season. I’m Deerborn, energy medium & tarot reader. I use my intuition to help when you need guidance, feel stuck, or want to understand yourself at a deeper level. All messages are always meant for your highest good. Please note that my readings do not serve as medical or legal advice; I am not liable for how you use the provided messages. If you enjoy your reading and would like to leave a tip, tap here. Book personal readings here.

Are you ready?

Take a moment to look at each of the 3 images. Take a few deep breaths. Ask your Spirit Guides for help if needed. Allow your intuition to guide you.

Which will you choose?

When you’re ready, scroll down to your pile. Thanks for reading!

Pile A

Ace of Pentacles & 10 of Wands

This season, you're being presented with a new beginning. There are going to be multiple opportunities for you to grow and expand in exactly the ways you’ve been dreaming of. If you've been working on manifesting something, this season is when it will come to be; and it may not take the form you’re expecting. If you feel blocked with this, make your manifestation intentions less specific. Sometimes we can make too many guidelines for the Universe, which makes it more difficult for things to align. Because Pentacles often represents finances, there’s likely to be some unexpected money coming in. This could take the form of a gift, finding money tucked away. or a raise, or booking higher paying commissions/gigs. Spirit wants you to know that what's coming for you will require some hard work, but nothing you can’t handle. It will be a matter of listening to your body and honoring when you’re getting tired so you do not burn out. Persevere, and you will see amazing things come out of it! You're strong and capable. Reach out for help as needed, please know you don't have to do it all on your own. There are people that will be glad to support you and see you grow! Happy fall, friend!

Pile B

7 of Wands & The Hermit

This season, you're going to be met with some challenges. These don’t always come from your environment; they can come from within. I’ve often seen 7 of Wands in regards to self limiting beliefs, comparison syndrome, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, even anxiety, ocd, etc. Your Spirit Guides want you to know that they’re always supporting you to overcome these obstacles, whatever they may be. They provide their protection and healing when you need it. Remember, they cannot interfere with free will, so if you need assistance, you must ask them. If you have trouble receiving their messages or energy, try using an intuitive tool, like a pendulum, oracle or tarot cards, runes, etc. Spirit also wants to remind you that your inner guidance will best lead you. When you feel like you're fighting against the current, take a time out to tune into your inner wisdom. Find sanctuary so that you can gain perspective before jumping back in. If you’re moving through a difficult or dark time, be careful not to isolate too much. This will exacerbate feelings of loneliness, sadness, anxiety, negative self talk, or any negative energy. Allow yourself time alone, but do not forget we all need some support. Happy fall, friend!

Pile C

4 of Pentacles & The Lovers

This season, you're doing your best to hold onto something, likely resources and money, but this could also simply be referring to your energy. You’re budgeting something, being mindful and aware of the needs of your future self. By saving or holding onto things, or energy, it gives you a better sense of control, and maybe control is what’s really needed right now. Spirit wants you to know that while it's wise to save for the future, you still need to live. Be careful that you aren't completely shutting yourself out from the world in order to watch your budget (financial, energetic). Instead of completely restricting yourself, make smart choices on where your energy or money is going. Time with friends will be a great way to have fun without spending too much money. Or, treat yourself, no matter how small, to some self care. Use what you have on hand. There is a way for you to come into balance without feeling restricted. A path toward harmony is available to you right now. Trust that the Universe has your back. If things feel stagnant, look around you to see what can be let go of. Maybe it’s time to go through your home and donate some items. Happy fall, friend!

[redactedgeek]

a love letter to You and I

To the unfortunate ✨🥀 (or most fortunate 😌🌻 - perhaps neutral? 👀🌱) Soul who sees this:

I wonder what sort of state You’d consider yourself in… The possibilities are thought-wringing. Yes 🙂. Thought-wringing cx

This… may be an attempt to do a life check-in. Sooo, if you’d like to do one with me, please feel free -^u^- 🌸

aight c: Status report: Overwhelmed at everything. Not doing well; multiple breakdowns in a single week alone. Saw burnout from a distance, and promised to treat self with unconditional love, and did best not to take anything out on others. Positive at beginning and “keeping head up.” Proud of self for coming this far [;before, I beat myself up every time I wasn’t able to do what I felt I “needed” to do. Now, I accept that sometimes I do get knocked down, and I allow it to happen, and I do my best to heal while my theoretically burning body lays there].

I am a fool 🤧. For laying there and not rolling around [sometimes I lay in bed, on my phone for hours and declare that “rest” :’) ]. For not yelling out for help or in pain [lashing out because I keep holding everything in; regardless of the reason, I know I haven’t done my part to communicate 😔]. For patching up the wounds and expecting it to be better immediately, moving in such a way that the wounds open up again so it takes even longer to heal than if I had cared for the wound [isolating, and then coming out of isolation from fear-based reasons instead of from actually taking care of myself, so I isolate even more because I’m so exhausted running on negative stress-adrenaline ☹️].

There are two - perhaps three or four? - options I can choose from about what can I do with the above-information:

A: Conclude I can never do anything right and allow that to define me as a person and continue spiraling in the unalchemized darkness. “I try and it doesn’t work. I can’t do anything right. 😀👍✨”

B: Conclude that while I have work to do on the way that I do some things, I acknowledge that I am doing my best with what I have and what I know. Each time I am knocked down, I have an opportunity to be still, reflect on my experiences, and learn what works and what doesn’t. “I tried, and while that didn’t work, this did. I can do more of this and see if it works more. 😌💕”

X: Conclude that I am tired, I just wanna have a good time now, and I push this to future me to handle this because [think nihilism]. “Hey, Ego, here’s something for you [quick fix: ‘you’re doing your best, everyone makes mistakes. Just don’t think about it and move on. It’s fun to be silly li’l guy anyway.] 🤭”

Y: Conclude that each and every one of these are options that are valid, fluid, and each have their own unique consequences. I don’t judge choices that people make because I understand and each of us are on our own made-perfectly-for-us journeys (which I think is wonderful and amazing because we are all embarking on our paths on this Earth together! On the same planet and stuffs! And no matter what we might believe, we’re not alone!), and I should allow myself that same, nonjudgmental freedom >×< I conclude that, since I love myself, I do my best to carry out options that I would hope a loved one carries out. I want the best for my loved ones, and so I want the best for myself. And I hope… by sharing this… this helps more precious souls too uwu 👉👈💕

Now, refer to the beginning. What sort of state are You in? What are you going to do (or not do) with it? :] genuinely curious

[Whatever your answer is, I send you so much love, I wish for you the support You specifically need at this time. And we shan’t forget - there is an abundance of blessings within and all around us! I hope hope hope you accept the blessings meant for You. 143 infinity style ❤️‍🩹♾️]

[social-muffin]

🔥New Khr OC Questions🔥

💞Anyone welcome to participate! 💞

People really enjoyed themselves with the last list of questions I made! So I made an even bigger one!! So much so, I don't really expect anyone to answer all these questions. Just pick and choose whatever you want to answer if it's too much lmao

‼️This is not just for OCs! If you feels you've modified one of the canon characters so much that they're a whole different person now, tell me about them as well please!‼️

I will also tag a bunch of people whomst OCs I really enjoyed and remembered from the last list of questions! There will be some repeat questions here, so you can elaborate if you wanna or just skip those lmao

Tags under the Cut cause I will also give a lil commentary on the OCs I know so far. :3

‼️Also these Questions are mostly spoiler free so don't worry! Only one question asks about something that's introduced after the Varia Arc I think. I put a 🌸 next to that one.‼️

@juudaimes-true-form Amara & Ricardo were both very fun and I like knowing about them! But l Alexandros is a very good vibe I wanna know the him uwu

@einsatzzz Kana, Kurumi & Yui are Hella intriguing! Do pls elaborate on all of them! Particularly Yui has spiked my interest! Did you finish that art of him you were working on?

@heryemily5927 Hanabi is adorable please tell me more if you feel up to it! :D

@kiralushia Nozomi & Cloud! I would like to see both of them for this! But I also wanna know more about Arashi because she gets mentioned often too :3

@acedragontrainer Ayane & Yuki may have been randomly created but they are so gawddang fun! Please give them backstories with the questions here. If you wanna of course ^^

@masterdisastre Xavier is babiest Boi, but what about Dani!? And also pls tell me of any other OC you wanna talk about!! I'll treasure each and every single one of them! :D

@cloudspark You reblogged the old Questions once wondering if you'll find the time and motivation to introduce your OC, so I will tag you here too since there are more questions here. :3

@ciaossn Amalia is best lady pls tell me more even if her true origin story has been tragically lost ;w; I wish to know her as much as possible!

The Basics:

What's their name? Their pronouns? Sexuality? Gender Identity? Their Age and Ethnicity?

What do they look like? Body type? Identifying characteristic? Art or picrew of your oc? (No AI art pls.)

Why did you create this character? Just for fun? Or is there a purpose behind them? Maybe a canon character you created them for? As a friend, love interest, sibling, child, parent, rival, nemesis?

What's the family situation of your OC? If they have family, how about a brief summary of the relationships of their family to the canon characters?

What are their other notable relationships to Canon characters? (Example: Hibari's little brother also happens to be Tsuna's childhood best friend and Gokudera's love interest) If there are none right now, are there any plans for relationships in the future?

Does your Oc have disabilities? Mental illnesses, neurodivergencies, missing limbs, chronic pains, physical limitations, some kind of food sensitivity? Anything that affects their day to day life goes!

Combat Questions:

What are your OC's flames, if they have any? And how do they use their flames? Do they ever use them outside combat?

How do they prefer to fight? Do they know how to fight in a way they dislike or hate? (Example: Hibari prefers hand-to-hand combat and dislikes firearms, but he knows how to shoot someone if he has no choice)

Do they have formal training? How many fighting styles do they know? What weapons can they wield?

What are their strengths? Their weaknesses?

🌸Do they have a flame weapon, or a box weapon/animal? How did they get these weapons? What level ring (best S>A>B>C>D>worst E) do they wield? Can they use their ring efficiently? If no, why not?🌸

Oh no! Your OC is unable to fight! (Too tired, injured, whatever) How do they deal with the enemy now? Do they flee, still try to fight, call for backup, or what do they do?

Philosophical Questions:

Answer this first before reading/thinking further! Would your OC change anything about themselves if they could?

What's their favourite colours? Their favourite season? Their favourite weather? Their favourite animal?

What are their hobbies? What are they passionate about? Is there a passion they had to give up? If so, why?

What kind of people do they dislike? Do they like who they themselves are?

What is their biggest secret? What's the biggest/worst lie they ever told? What lie do they frequently tell themselves?

What's their darkest desire? What's their biggest hope for the future? If they had the money, how would they want to change the world they live in?

If the world ended tomorrow, how would they spend their last day on earth? Who would they want to be with? Their worst fear stands between them and saving the world, would they be able to overcome that fear to save the world?

What would be their civilain dream job? If they had to kill someone innocent to save a friend, would they be able to do it? How long would their choice haunt them? Would they be able to face their friend if they decided to sacrifice them, but things ended up working out?

Your OCs biggest, wildest dreams all just came true! What do they do next? Who do they celebrate with? How do they celebrate? Loud exhilaration or quiet disbelief?

After these questions, I ask again, what would your OC change about themselves if they could? Did the answer change?

Khr Character Questions! [Or 'I am putting the OCs in ✨situations✨']

Vongola:

Sawada Tsunayoshi burst into flames, flew into the sky and took out a missile that was headed towards the area your Oc was in. How do they go about interacting with Tsuna after that?

Gokudera Hayato dragged your OC to an empty classroom to investigate ghosts, but it turns out it was just teenagers. Hayato seems genuinely disheartened, does your Oc want to comfort him?

Sasagawa Ryohei just pulled your Oc away from oncoming traffic! He proceeds to ask them to join the boxing club! How do they go about rejecting him, given that he just saved their life?

Bovino Lambo just send your Oc ten years into the future! What situation did your Oc end up in? What's their reaction to this future?

Yamamoto Takeshi is sitting by himself, holding a baseball and looking oddly melancholic. Your OC does not know what is going on, except that usually Takeshi is a cheerful guy. Do they approach him? What do they say?

Hibari Kyoya comes across your Oc with a bleeding wound at his side. He is most obviously unwell, but also pissed, how does your Oc approach this situation?

Chrome Dokuro knows what your Oc did and it feels like she is judging them for their dirty secrets. How does your Oc try to buy her silence?

Rokudo Mukuro wandered into the dream your Oc had last night! Does he leave with even more trauma, creepily amused, weirdly charmed or thoroughly bored?

Fuuta DeLa Stella fianlly ranked your Oc first in something! What category did he rank them first in? What is your OC's reaction?

I-pin just blew up and then landed gently in the arms of your Oc. How do they react to this literal pipe bomb baby?

Sasagawa Kyoko handed your Oc Valentine's friendship chocolates and thanked them for looking after her brother! This might be a misunderstanding, but these are also the only/first chocolates your Oc was given, so what do they tell her?

Miura Haru made your Oc their dream outfit! But something significant about it is wrong, how does your Oc give critique on that?

Kurokawa Hana just called your Oc a monkey to their face. How ready, if at all, are they to throw hands with this civilain middle/high-school girl?

Arcobaleno:

Fon wants to share spicy curry with your Oc, but the spoon is glowing red hot. Does your Oc risk it?

Reborn shot someone infront of your Oc. Tsuna won't believe them. What will they do now?

Verde wants to study your Oc so he asks if they'd volunteer for science. No money is involved but they do get to hang out with Verde, do they take the offer?

Lal Mirch has taken over the CEDEF and there is a party that your OC somehow ended up invited to! Do they bring Lal a gift? If so, what kinda gift?

Colonnello got drunk from sipping some wine, he is sad, melancholic and heavily armed. How does your Oc handle the situation?

Skull thinks you're really cute and creative! He wants to know how you came up with your Oc? And your favourite scene of your Oc!

Viper just gave your OC a slice of pizza. Will they eat it? Are they aware of the risks? Are there risks?

Varia:

Xanxus meets your Oc at a bar and tells them to get him a drink. What does your Oc do? If they make an order, what would they order for Xanxus?

Belphegor is staring at your OC from a distance and chuckling maniacally. What wardrobe malfunction did he notice on your OC?

Lussuria slings his feather scarf around your Oc and tells them they're a cutie. How does your Oc respond to the sudden flirting and closeness? Do they know Lussuria is powerful as well as queer?

Levi-a-Than just told your Oc that they'd be so pretty if they put a bit more effort into their look. How does your Oc react?

Superbi Squalo yells so loud it's almost bothering your Oc! How do they tell him to quiet down? How long do they last in the every-man-for-himself Varia-style brawl that comes next?

Mammon is wanting to extort your Oc for money. What blackmail material does Mammon have to do so? (What is an embarrassing thing your Oc did that Mammon could reasonably find out about?)

Fran is getting on your OC's nerves, constantly and seemingly very much on purpose. Everyone else is already using that boy as target practice, so does your Oc join in?

Others:

Dino Cavallone compares your OC to Tsuna. Is your Oc insulted by the comparison? What if it was accurate?

Dino's right hand man Romario invites your character out for a drink! What drink do they order to impress, intimidate, or endear themselves to the Cavallone Familia? Or do they reject the invite entirely?

Hibari's right hand man Kusakabe Tetsuya thinks your Oc is too noisy and tells them to shut up if they don't want to get bitten to death. Does your Oc take that as a challenge? Hibari Kyoya does not seem to be nearby in the first place... (He is watching from a nearby roof)

Something got past the safety on your OC's garbage cans and made a massive mess! Ken stands as the main, but not the only suspect. Does your Oc make that accusation? Do they worry they would offend Ken for accusing him of that, just for having more animalistic behaviours?

Chikusa's yoyo just flipped off it's string and bonked your Oc on the head. He acts apologetic, but your Oc has a feeling he did that on purpose. How does your Oc proceed?

The Last Question!!

Please gimme links as to where people can find stories or art about your OCs!

Thank you for reading and answering if you do! :D

[wingsoverbros]

When you catch things months later...

Warning - Spoilers: for the tv show Kinnporsche, and for the Book Childhoods End

I was watching KinnPorsche and got to the scene in episode 11 when Vegas was reading on the patio, and wondered why they had him reading "Childhoods End" by Arthur C. Clark.

I mean, I applaud his taste in literature (SciFi is always a good choice, especially very good SciFi), but why it specifically?

So I gave it good long thought, and I think I understand now.

Childhoods End is a story about transformation into something new, into a peaceful and cohesive unit with others, at the cost of your past existence and individuality. The individuals transform in the end of conflict, with some in their group choosing instead to perish rather than transform. They are also helped along the way by a companion guide species, one that looks like one thing but is truly another, a group who can accompany them but are not a part of them, and who can only watch the final transformation from a distance and hope for the best.

The book, in essence, is the map of Vegas's path forward.

Whatever shall Vegas do? Lets contemplate it for a moment… (Feel free to ruminate over how much Kun sucks while you're at it.)

Vegas is currently the heir of the Minor Family, and thus an important figure in what is pretty much declared as the "lesser" of the two families. He's always the runner-up. This drives him to increasingly dangerous and ill-thought-out plans that inevitably fall flat. He could, if he tried working together with the Major Family (and they trusted him a little) do great things, but as it stands, neither side is willing to give in and take the first step. For peace and greater social standing of all, a guide will need to help. One that looks like one type, but is another entirely inside, one both sides can trust.

And what do you know? We have one!

Pete -

Main Head Bodyguard to the Main Family (so, trustworthy to the Main Family while not actually being a member of the Main Family),

rumored hidden Masochist (there's the looks-like-one-thing/is-another-inside), and

Vegas's past punch dummy/future cuddle buddy (thus, trustworthy to Vegas).

He'll fit the job.

The final episode mirrors aspects of the book plot, in fact. In both, conflicts between the separate parts of the transforming group (the raid in Kinnporsche, the separation of the transforming children from the rest of humanity in Childhoods End) results in the death of some of the group (Kun and the parents/citizens of New Athens, respectively), while the separated observer (Vegas and Jan Rodricks) are counseled on the sidelines by the Guardian.

In both, the Observer eventually decides to try to go along with their respective transformed group, no longer individually important but at relative peace and within the larger group collective, in order to keep what they have left.

Barring some unexpected sudden-onset lead poisoning, of course.

Luckily for us, for Vegas, and for Pete, this is where the similarity ends. Instead of watching as Earth and the Observer dissolve and transform out of their future reach before leaving to return home like Overlords in Childhood's End, Pete ends the show sitting on the bed and in physical contact with Vegas, with the promise of a potential future together.

Good thing, too, as Vegas and Pete deserve a break.

[m0nst3rgunxz]

Hey, hi, hello. Pondering Anxious anon here who read your post on "the self" As someone who's definitely spent a lot of time ruminating over the subject, I thought it was interesting. I've always wondered about it. Do I have a sense of self? Have I ever had a sense of self? What is a sense of self and am I just overthinking it? You can spend your entire life building up an identity and for some people it's cemented. Set in stone. For others it's such a fragile thing and I think in a lot of cases, people just adapt to an idea of the self they feel they're expected to.

Or Something. Maybe that's just me. But what is self? I am not very well articulated. I often struggle to turn my thoughts into words so i'll do my best to try to lay out my two cents here as coherently as possible. Apologies in advance.

What you become and what you create, and what you create is often influenced by what you become. I think there's absolutely an undeniable environmental factor in place for the self and as such, memory does play a big part in who you are. I think those sorts of things certainly lay a type of groundwork. Psychologically speaking, how we are raised influences the patterns in our brain's that makeup how we perceive the world and ultimately, how we respond to it. I think in many cases, the line between self and disorder can and will often blur. Like in the case of personality disorders. They are behaviours we adapt that have helped us survive and so we continue in those patterns because they've worked for us. But also they are behaviours set in stone. They become who you are. But they are classified as disorders because outside of the situation our brains picked up those patterns for, they are less useful. More of a hindrance than a help. The self, as an idea, is shaky I feel. You can use text book definitions to make sense of things. Use it as a reference or a framework, but there will always be nuances to the idea as a whole. But i think at the end of the day, there's a kind of comfort in that idea. And I think you kind of mentioned that. You have the agency to pick and choose what defines you and if you need, you can put them on and take them off like ill fitting clothing items and try something else. I've gone my entire life living inside of my mental illnesses with no room for me and it's become a little bit scary at this point to think about living without them. Because outside of anxiety and depression and OCD and cluster b and c or whatever the fuck else my psychiatrist thinks I have, what is there? I've lived my whole life as an undiagnosed or diagnosed problem. So is that me? Am I mental illness? Or has mental illness ultimately swallowed me up and is now riding around inside my flesh like a parasite?

I think it's a part of me, and if I ever heal, the resulting scars will have gone a long way into developing whatever I become later down the line, because I do think the self is subject to change. Always. You'll never be who you were yesterday and that's good.

Or it can be bad.

Anything can happen.

It bothered me for so long because I tried so hard to fit into categories and diagnosis' and outside perceptions of me and sometimes I'd even try to slip into the skins of friends to see if maybe there was something there for me too.

There is something very freeing of the self as a nebulous concept. being an amorphous dust cloud in the grand cosmos is not so bad. I may not be a fully formed planet but goddamn does my cloud glitter with the corpse dust of fallen heavenly entities.

What the hell does that mean? Pseudo-poetic nonsense maybe. I think we'll remain pieces and rarely ever be fully formed. Or if/when we are, it'll be a long time before we get there.

Something something the discovery of self is a journey.

Opinions opinions opinions.

I'm not really sure if this provided anything of real value or if it just lent more questions.

Or maybe the aimless state of this ramble has helped bolster my point a little?

Or maybe I'm just pretentious as fuck and like feeling like I know things, ha ha. Who knows! It was fun to think about though.

I hope this isn't a line of thinking that stresses you out though. And if it is, I hope you figure it out one day.

With my limited perspective, -Silly Anon

First of all, i love you anon

Second of all I love your perspective and its given me a new idea on what identity could be, and thats a concept. Im thinking something akin to time, your sense of self and sense of time are maybe both present to keep things in order societally and to keep things in order in your head.

It would make sense given you can lose your sense of time, and similarly you can loose your sense of self. Time is measured objectively yet experienced differently, and similarly the self is divided into objective categories while being experienced different.

Lets introduce a new sentiment, for conversation sake. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I think that can apply to a lot of things, but im thinking about who plays the role of the beholder. Because I am just as much of a beholder as you are, and we both are just as much the beauty being beheld. Thats confusing so I'll deconstruct it, and change the quote "the self is in the eye of the beholder". you can behold me, obeserve me, and suddenly my subjective identity(subjective in the way beauty is) exists in your eyes. But in the same way I can be my own beholder. And suddenly there is an internal division between the me observing myself and myself(and theres conflict with how what I see in me conflicts with what you see in me sometimes). And this leads me to believe that the sense of self is when you feel the beholder and the self are aligned, when your self is confident in that what you've beheld is the truth of your self. And thats where it can faulter, because now you need to figure out where the beholder ends and you begin, and maybe the beholder is the eye and maybe the beholder is just as much the self as the personality is and suddenly your sense of self is in shambles.

I think the reason I occasionally find distress in the lack of my sense of self was because my identity was the foundation of my mind, every action and thought would lead back to this one idea of what I am. And it was a constant in my life. Well i dont have to see it like that if i dont want too, the foundations acted more like barriers, I'm a free man-entity-thing now i say!! I dont need to be anyone or anything or act in the confines of any identity or feel out of place when i dont aline with my established identity.

(Tis why i doubt I'll ever have a real name lolol)