#so far I’ve been the only person to say Goodbye Cruel World

[drpierceandmrhyde]

The MASH Matters Twitter asked people to share their least favorite episodes, and they specifically asked people not to say “Hawkeye” or “Dreams,” and boy the replies sure are Something. Also a lot of people have mentioned the episodes they specifically asked not to mention

[allxthingsxglxtter]

@lcnelylcves

Seeing Aeneas again, getting to look out for his brother again, had been all Caius wanted, but he hadn’t imagined what it’d be like for his little brother to come face to face with a ghost. His mind raced, trying to think of more ways to convince him that he was real. Feeling the sob deep down in his core, his heart broke for how lonely Aeneas must have been. His own tears dripped down his cheeks steadily, but he made no effort to wipe them away until after Aeneas pulled away.  “I’m here. You don’t need to say sorry. I’m just so glad - I’ve missed you.” Caius had missed him from the day he joined the Peacekeepers, writing letters back that he could never be sure actually made their way home, and then things had been… well, there hadn’t really been time to write any letters in the end. There hadn’t even been time to say goodbye to Zachariah, let alone his brother, who had always been the most important person in his life.  But of course Aeneas had looked after their parents. His smile was resigned, knowing that they’d practically raised themselves with their parents not always the wisest of people. Not cruel, no, but they thought only of themselves, and the brothers had to adjust for that. It was a wonder they were both far less selfish. “I’m really glad you’re okay. And I need better words than glad, obviously, but I just can’t think of anything big enough.” No words would ever be enough to describe any of it. That loneliness of leaving home to pay for their parents debts. The confusion he felt as he fell in love with Zachariah. The fear when the rebellion started. Guilt, anger, hopelessness - there had been a lot there. Caius still didn’t know what to do with it, so he tended to ignore it. 

When Caius had left to be a peacekeeper Aeneas hadn't thought for a moment that he might not come back. That that day he said goodbye would be the last time he saw the other's face, and that the hole he left behind was temporary. He wouldn't have to face their parents ignorance and vapidness alone, or be without the one person in the world Aeneas trusted. The one person he loved. And somehow having that hope ripped away, when the letters stopped coming and his own receiving no reply, and then when that official notice had arrived, and his father told him Caius was dead...it'd torn something lose in Aeneas. A wound that never stopped bleeding, that festered and grew worse as he knew he wasn't anyone Caius would've hoped he became. Losing Caius had eaten him alive inside, and there had been no doubt in his mind that he'd die one day from that heartbreak.

He was still crying as he stepped back to look at his brother, trying to calm down and breathe through it, but then Caius spoke and it was such a relief that he couldn't stop from crying all over again. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." He was apologizing for crying, but he knew there was so much more he had to apologize to him for, so much. And he also had no intention of shattering the other's hopes that he'd been okay. That all he'd had to deal with was their stupid parents and his own loneliness. "It's just...really, really good to see you again."

Laughing tearfully, he shook his head. "Trust me, I get it. I can't...there's no words big enough. Not for this. I want to know everything, and I also just want to stand here and just hug you and not let go just in case I really have gone insane...I..I swear I'll stop crying someday." Reaching out, he just gripped his arm and gave it an affectionate squeeze, not wanting to suffocate him in hugging but wanting to at least touch him, to remind him this was real. "How are you? How long have you been here? Are you safe? Are you happy?"

[nebulablakemurphy]

Miss American Pie

Chapter Three: Bye Bye

Warning: This series features a romantic Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader relationship.

Summary: After freeing the widows from chemical subjugation and destroying the red room, you and Yelena finally settle down.

Part 1 & Part 2

The widows welcome you, the ones you trained with and the ones you didn’t. After Dreykov was gone and you had nothing but time. Melina and Alexei go to work on replicating the antidote. Creating enough to free all chemically subjugated agents.

It’ll take time. But the more you free the more are willing to help. Some of the widows just leave once they are given freedom. Ready to wash their hands of all of this and start living. You understand that more than anything. Eventually the operation is running on such a large scale they hardly need you at all.

Natasha hasn’t reached out since you separated after the red room. Probably off with the Avengers trying to save the world again. No one blames her, for her inability to be still. Not even Yelena.

“So,” you plop down on the couch beside Yelena. “What’s the plan now?”

“I don’t know.” She admits, staring up at the ceiling. “To be honest, I didn’t think I was going to make it this far.”

“Yeah.” You tug at a loose strand of her dirty blonde hair. “That makes two of us.”

“We could pretend to be normal.” Yelena offers. “What would a normal person do?”

“Don’t know,” you shrug. “I’ve never been one.”

“Maybe...settle down.” Yelena’s eyes are far away.

“Would you have wanted to-“ You break off, trying to sort out the words. “I mean if you could…would you have a baby?”

She raises her brows, “I never thought about it.” A long pause. “I wouldn’t know how to be a mother.”

Neither would you. You’ll never be right. Whatever that is, was, or might have been. Always a little too guarded and rough around the edges. “You never waste time thinking about things you can’t have.” You sink farther into the cushions, her pinky skates over your own. Taking the invitation you twine your fingers together.

“I thought about you.” She lowers her eyes to the coffee table. “Everyday. Until I couldn’t anymore.”

“I-“

“The red room took that from me too.”

You shake your head at her. “They can never take anything from you or anyone else ever again,” you whisper. “And to be clear you can have me.”

A laugh rumbles out of her chest at the news. “I can?”

“I mean if you still want me.” You tease, “I know that the chase is half the fun for you. So I can keep on running. I’m one foot out the door-“

“I am tired of running.” Yelena murmurs, curling up against your side.

“Me too.” Your chin rests atop her head.

“Then stop doing it!” She scolds, slapping your arm playfully in retaliation.

“I will if you will.” You know why she runs. The same reason you do. Because you’re afraid. That maybe some parts of you are too broken to love.

She mulls it over for a moment. “Truce. I don’t run. You don’t run.”

“Deal.” You give her fingers a squeeze.

“Except into the face of danger.” She clarifies, only half kidding. “Then we run, straight ahead.” Yelena motions with her free hand. “But together.”

“Together.” You agree, with a soft smile.

“We could get a dog.” The tone of her voice tells you that she is invested in the idea.

“I wouldn’t mind a dog.” You prop your feet up on the coffee table.

Yelena hates anything but a straight answer. Still feeling the need to convince you, she presents the facts. “Dogs are really cool! They have special powers.”

You chuckle, “dogs do not have powers.”

“Yes!” Yelena argues, “they can predict natural disasters and judge character.”

“That’s a special power?” You quip, “I can do that too.”

She grumbles under her breath.

“I want one.” You sigh. Feeling all the tension leave her body.

“I knew you did.” She smiles, contently.

———————————————————————

Dogs might have powers, but the only thing your puppy currently seems to posses is the ability to chew up anything in her path.

“Yelena have you seen my-“ you pause, taking in the scene before you, “shoes.”

“Don’t be angry,” Yelena holds up a hand.

The tiny puppy beside her squeaks, not quite a bark yet. Your demolished sneaker tumbling to the ground.

“What happened?” You run both hands over your face.

She sweeps the dog into her arms. “I told Fanny we could go for a walk once you got out of the shower. She was excited, Y/N! She was trying to bring your shoes to you. But she got distracted, only a little.”

“A little?” You can’t help but smile.

“Look at this face,” Yelena waves Fanny’s paw at you. “You can’t be mad at this face. Tell her girl. Say, you can’t be mad at me Mom, I’m trying my best.” She brings the dog closer.

You raise a hand to pet Fanny lightly. Yelena’s right of course, there is no being mad at that face. “Let me find a pair of shoes that isn’t mangled. Then we’ll go for a walk.”

“I’ll wait with Fanny.”

“Of course you will.” You retreat to your bedroom. Rummaging through the closet in search of some sort of footwear. You’d settle for slippers at this point. Fanny joins you after a moment. Nuzzling at your ankle as she whines.

It’s not everyday that she follows you, she is Yelena’s dog and never lets you forget it. “You’re really excited aren’t you?” More whining. You scoop Fanny up. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

You huff, finally locating a pair of sandals. Slipping them on quickly so you can return to Yelena and gloat about being Fanny’s favorite. “Hey baby, I don’t know what you did, but look.” You smile, gazing up as you present the dog…to an empty room. That’s odd. Maybe she’s waiting outside.

You grab the leash Yelena abandoned on the countertop, securing it to Fanny’s collar. “Come on girl. Let’s go find Mama. Where’s Mama?”

Fanny follows you out the door, onto the walkway.

“Yelena?”

Nothing.

You scan the area, no sign of her. “Ok…” Back into the house, you check the bathroom next.

“Yelena!” You shout, knowing you’ll feel stupid once she replies. But she doesn’t.

A buzzing from the cell phone in your back pocket draws your attention. You set Fanny down gently, accepting the call and moving the device up to your ear. “Alexei?”

“Y/N! Oh thank god!” His voice booms through the speaker.

“Are you ok?” You ask immediately. Leaning down to grab the television remote, turning to channel thirteen, still broadcasting it’s usual gameshow.

“I am alone.” He cries through the speaker. “Melina left me with her pigs.”

“What do you mean she left you?” Something is very wrong.

“She disappeared.” He says somberly, “didn’t even say goodbye. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.” The dramatic monologue continues. “I give her back rub every night and then-“

“No,” you cut him off. “Absolutely not.” Under no circumstance is he going to tell you what happens next.

“I have made mistakes, but this! This is cruel.” Alexei, clearly distraught begins cursing in Russian.

“Alexei, I know you’re upset but I need you to listen.”

“What?” He asks. “What is it?”

“Yelena is gone too.” You inform him. Your eyes flicker over the words at the bottom of your tv screen. “People disappeared all over the world.”

You fall back onto the couch, feeling all the air leave your lungs.

More hysteria on the other end of the line. “What are we going to do?”

“I’m gonna find Natasha. Maybe she knows something.” Assuming that Natasha is still here.

“What about me?”

“Come to Ohio. You can dog sit.” You offer, familiar numbness seeps into your limbs.

“I have nine pigs!” Alexei shouts back.

“We have a backyard, don’t worry.” You hang up before he has a chance to argue.

You return to the call screen. Scrolling to find a different contact. Pressing the dial button beside her name.

It rings. And rings. And rings. “Hello.”

“Natasha,” you let out the breath you’ve been holding. “What the hell happened?”

——————————————————————

The Avengers fortress isn’t exactly how you imagined. Not very homey.

You park your car in the lot. Removing your keys from the ignition and stowing them in your back pocket. The clear rectangular keychain with a picture of you and Yelena inside sticks out. Clinking when you round the vehicle to retrieve Fanny from the passenger seat. “Come on, Fanny.”

She wags her tail, waiting expectantly to be carried.

“You’re spoiled, you know.” You sigh, taking the puppy into your arms and closing the door behind you.

The front gate is open but Natasha takes a moment to locate. She cut her hair up to her shoulders, dyed it blonde. “Hello stranger.”

“You got a dog.” She says, in greeting.

“Yeah.” You reply, not in the mood for small talk. “It was Yelena’s idea.”

“I knew she’d sucker you into that.”

“It’s not like she could make me do anything I didn’t want to.” Your finger slides along the edge of the metal table Natasha’s seated behind.

She barks a laugh, “that’s a lie.”

Maybe so. “Nice place you’ve got here.”

“It’s not mine.”

“Still cool. I like the hair too,” you motion toward her blonde locks.

“That’s not really mine either, is it?” She remarks.

“Is anything ever really ours?”

“No.” She frowns. “I guess not.”

“What happened?” You ask again.

“It’s a long story,” Nat crosses both arms over her chest. “You might want to take a seat.”

You clear your throat, pulling out the chair beside her. Fanny curls up in your lap, curious eyes darting about every now and then. You tell yourself it’s because she’s in a new place, but part of you knows, she’s looking for Yelena.

Natasha stares down at her hands. “Have you ever heard of infinity stones?”

You shake your head. “Must be an avenger thing.”

“There were six of them, scattered all over the galaxy. If a person has all six they can use them in anyway they choose. Thanos, used them to eliminate half of all living creatures.”

“Are you the only one left?” You lean in.

“No.” She sniffs, blinking away tears. “There’s others.”

“So where are they?” The place looks abandoned. “Why aren’t you charging into battle?”

“Because we lost. Probably the worst we’ve ever lost.” Natasha clenches her jaw. “By the time we found Thanos again he already destroyed the stones.”

“We’ll try again.” You decide immediately. This isn’t over.

“Will we?” Natasha shakes her head with a smirk.

“If she was gone for good I would know it.” You tell her truthfully. “I would feel it, in my heart and I don’t.”

“You didn’t see it happen. I saw him snap his fingers and-“

You lay your hand over hers, squeezing tight.

“Did you see her go?” She asks, voice just above a whisper. “Yelena. Did you see her?”

“No.” You confess, “I didn’t see.”

Natasha closes her eyes. “That’s why you still have hope.”

“Look maybe you’re right.” You shrug, “even so, now seems like a really stupid time to give up.”

The corner of her mouth twitches. “What’s the dog’s name?”

“Fanny.” You inform her.

“Come on.” She rolls her blue eyes. “You’re kidding right? Tell me you didn’t actually name a dog after one of those stupid aliases Rick made me.”

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

“I guess a dog’s better than a pig.” Natasha reasons. “Are they still here?”

“Not Melina.” You break the news quickly. Like tearing off a bandage. “But Alexei and all nine of her pigs are on their way to our house in Ohio.”

“Sounds crowded.”

“Always room for one more.”

——————————————————————

You stay like that for a long time. Hopeful. Sure that this was all some nightmare that you could wake up from; fight your way out of.

And then five years passed.

Now you come to see Natasha twice a month, just to check in. Alexei and his pigs have taken up permanent residency in the home you bought with Yelena. As for you, you bounce around. Never staying in one place too long.

“Any news?” You wonder, leaning against the doorframe of Natasha’s meeting room.

“No.” She bites out. Kicking her foot up on the desk. “You should move on.”

“Is that what you call this?” You flick your wrist in her direction. “Crying into a peanut butter sandwich.”

“It’s therapeutic.” She waves the bread at you. Tears welled up in her eyes. “You should try it sometime.”

“Nah.” You take a seat, reaching across to make a sandwich of your own. “It’s not the sandwich’s fault.”

“Am I interrupting the pity party?” Steve says, announcing his presence. Captain America is as self righteous as ever.

“Didn’t you grieve for a century over a girl you kissed one time?” You arch a brow at him, licking wayward peanut butter from the pad of your thumb. “Five years is just a drop in the bucket.”

Steve purses his lips, you have a point. “It wasn’t a century.”

“Close enough.” You mumble around a mouthful of your dinner.

“Want a bite?” Natasha offers half of her sandwich to him.

“No thanks.” He takes a step closer. “I’d offer to make you a real dinner, but already look pretty miserable. Where’s your dog?”

“Visiting her granddad.” Everyone and their mother loves that damn dog.

“Oh yeah, my great adversary.” How could he ever forget. “Is he still wearing that stupid suit?”

“I’m pretty sure the suits are stowed away. But it’s been a while since I’ve been there.” Your mind wanders to the vest. The one Natasha returned to you after Yelena was gone. The one you retired because it doesn’t smell like her anymore. Nothing does.

Most things remain untouched in the Ohio house. Your pictures. Your memories. Your plans. You can’t get rid of them. Can’t stomach being around them either.

Someone, a man, alerts the security cameras, pounding on the front door. “Hello? Is anyone home? Hello! Can you hear me?”

“How old is this video?” Steve asks, cocking his head to the side.

“It’s the front gate.” Natasha breathes, enlarging the image.

“Do we know him?” You squint at the man in question.

“It’s me, Scott Lang, Antman. I met you guys at the airport in Germany a few years ago. I had a mask on, you probably wouldn’t recognize me.” He rambles on.

Natasha presses the access panel, opening the gate.

You straighten yourselves out, before he makes it down the long hallway into the common room.

Scott paces, a lot. Nervously rubbing his hands together.

“Scott.” Steve finally cut in. “Are you ok?”

“Have any of you ever studied quantum physics?”

“Only to make conversation.” Nat says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Ok. Alright so, five years ago. Right before Thanos. I was in the quantum realm. The quantum realm is like it’s own little microscopic universe. To get in there you have to be incredibly small. Hope, she’s my uh-“ he trails off. “She was my…she was- she was supposed to pull me out. And then Thanos happened and I got stuck in there.”

“I’m sorry that must have been a long five years.” Natasha apologies.

“That’s the thing, for me it wasn’t.” Scott replies. “It was five hours.”

“What a trip.” You snort, absently toying with your belt loop.

“The rules of time are different there. See everything is unpredictable.” He explains, getting distracted by the food in your hand. “Are you gonna finish that?”

“I guess not.” You hold it out to him.

He accepts, gratefully stuffing the bread into his mouth.

“Scott! What are you talking about?” Steve demands.

“So what I’m saying is time works differently in the quantum realm. The only problem is we don’t have a way to navigate it. But if we did, if we could somehow control the chaos; to enter the quantum realm at a certain point in time and exit at another point in time…like,” Scott locks eyes with you then. “Like before Thanos.”

You nod.

“Are you talking about a time machine?” Steve sighs, running a hand over his tense forehead.

“No. No of course not. Not like a time machine but like a…yeah.” There’s no other word for it. “Like a time machine. I know it’s crazy. But I can’t stop thinking about it! There gotta be some way.”

“Scott,” Natasha calls his attention. “I get emails from a raccoon. So nothing sounds crazy to me anymore.”

“So who do we talk to about this?” His eyes flicker between the three of you.

“Don’t look at me.” You hold both hands up. “That’s way above my pay grade.”

Part 4

Series Taglist: @3and30aresoultwins

[psychewritesbs]

Jujutsu Kaisen 157: Megumi needs and Yuji is needed + the power of friendship trope

I decided that, while I cannot avoid sharing manga spoilers (mostly because I don’t want to since I am keeping up with the manga), I would avoid sharing leaks. So I’ve been holding back on posting about chapter 157 until today wondering what I wanted to say about the subject. 

First, chapter 157 has got to be one of the saddest chapters in JJK so far and it hit me in the gut almost as hard as the chapter when Mechamaru says goodbye to Miwa (I honestly didn't know I was a Mechamaru x Miwa fan until that chapter).

Second, as a Megumi fan, my favorite panel in chapter 157 was, of course, when he bows down and asks Kirara to listen to what they have to say. It felt so earnest and painful at the same time.

The reason Megumi doing a dogeza bow is a big deal is because this level of bowing is loaded with symbolism.

From what I understand, dogeza is equated to “begging”, thus denoting a certain level of desperation. 

But dogeza also sends the message that the person bowing is both ashamed to ask for help, AND, being aware of that shame, are still choosing to bow as a way to tell the other person that they do not care about their self-image as long as the act of bowing accomplishes the bower’s intention.

Truly an act out of desperation.

Now, I could be missing some cultural nuances here, but that’s my understanding of dogeza. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if I’m missing some important detail about dogeza.

Looking back, this panel actually reminded me of Yashiro from Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai doing dogeza on behalf of his love interest, Kageyama.

Yoneda Kou, like Gege Akutami, is a very talented artist in their ability to portray emotion through their art. 

But back to JJK.

This whole interaction between Kirara and Megumi struck me because it clearly depicts both Megumi’s desperation and conviction to save Tsumiki.

Let’s not forget that Megumi wasn’t one to ask for help just prior to the Shibuya arc and would always choose to rely on himself for the most part. Which makes his emotional and psychological growth all the more impressive. 

Despite the growth he achieved in terms of his power up, how incredibly smart he is, and manifesting a Domain Expansion, by bowing, he is basically telling Kirara “even though I easily defeated you, I am not strong without you. I need your strength.”

Megumi’s true growth is thus his ability to put aside his trust issues in favor of his greater goal: Saving Tsumiki. 

In other words, he needs others to save his beloved sister.

WHICH brings us to Yuji’s growth. 

Third, Yuji went from typical Shonen Protagonist's larger than life aspirations, to a humbling down as a result of everything that took place during the Shibuya Arc. 

But what I loved most about this change in Yuji is that he sees himself as part of something bigger. He is now needed as opposed to him fulfilling his own needs by saving others.

It’s like before he had a grandiose idea of what saving others would do for him, instead of taking into consideration what saving others would do for them. 

Now that he has done quite the opposite of saving people thanks to Sukuna’s rampage, he’s come back down to the real world and realized that saving other people has nothing to do with him. To put it in “spiritual” terms, Yuji recognized he’s a “channel” for the greater good, not the executioner of the greater good.

Seriously, Gege Akutami loves breaking down Yuji’s ego through really cruel and painful experiences. But it is precisely because Yuji is so naive that he needs this kind of Psychological growth.

Yes, it’s heartbreaking Yuji sees himself only as a “cog” (it feels as though he only sees his worth as utilitarian), and yet, this change in perspective shows just how much he’s matured. 

So where Megumi desperately needs help and is not ashamed to admit it, Yuji is desperately needed and is proud of the fact-to the point that he would challenge Hakari by asking him about his place in the machinery.

This is, quite arguably, the best play on the “power of friendship” trope that I’ve seen and I’m here for it. Although not a pairing I personally ship, I can see why the fandom loves Megumi x Yuji x Megumi. 

Megumi and Yuji have an incredible bond bordering on bromance that many of us wish we had in our lives. Relationships like that are not easy to come by and are always to be cherished, especially if you are a victim of trauma the way many of the characters in JJK are.

Other honorable mentions: 

This chapter really cemented the fact that I like Kirara as a character. Gege Akutami is very good at bringing characters to life, even seemingly minor ones

As with everything JJK, it’s all about the character dynamics, and I am really loving Kirara and Hakari’s dynamic

Ah! Feels good to get all of this off my chest.

So what did YOU think?!!!! 

I love chatting with others about JJK, so don’t hesitate to share your thoughts.

[stephspurs]

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. This is a window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the Italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

Wow - the response i received in a little under 24 hours since i posted the first taste of part 1 has truly bowled me over! I wasn't expecting that reaction & tbh i would have been happy if 2 people wanted to read this story hahaha! So, i've been writing in the background & the first few parts have already been proofed and are ready to go. HOWEVER! I am open to your suggestions so please please let me know what you think and how you want to see Amelia's story play out. As far as i'm concerned, this fic is as much yours as it is mine! So please enjoy this first part, in its entirety, and let me know your thoughts! Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 1 | prima parte

warnings; none - maybe a bit of angst? (what sibling rivalry doesn't have a bit of angst)

word count; 1978 words

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Sunday 25/07 5pm AEST. Updates will be twice weekly at this stage. Probably Wednesday’s and Sundays from next week!!

link to fic masterlist here

The world of football, no matter how big it may seem, is as tight as a close-knit family. Whether its management staff, senior players, scouts, academy players, business developers, medical team, groundskeeper - everyone knows someone who knows someone else involved in the sport. For Amelia White, it was a family affair.

Having grown up with her father as a senior tactical analyst for many different clubs throughout his career, and an older brother currently playing for Brighton in the Premier League, there was no opportunity for her to escape the fanaticism of the sport. It was what her household lived and breathed, football. Most would think that, with her brother being as successful as he is now, her childhood was shadowed by her brother's success but that's not the case. She capitalised on her ability to think both logically and creatively, and absorbed all of the information her father could give her as if she was a sponge, to establish a name of her own in the sport and advance her career in the sport. At the age of 21 she upped and left the comforts of her home in West London, accepted a position at Juventus within their graduate program & worked her way up the ranks to be their youngest tactical analyst by the age of 24.

So far in her career, the support of her mother, father & brother were unmatched by any. They were all so proud of her for making her own name, proving herself and succeeding in one of the most competitive football leagues in the world. She was smart, tactful, both meticulous and ruthless in her approach to her career and the success of her players. Because after all, they were her players. She worked day in and day out, studying them and their opponents, drafting performance plans and set pieces for every possible outcome of the play, so that they could perform at their best. They had her trust and faith, and she had theirs. This is probably what her family was most proud of, and wished her every success, until she was appointed as a tactical analyst for the Italian National Team for the upcoming Euro 2020 tournament. Which happened to be the same tournament that her brother had received his call up to the Three Lions. Which was the current level at which her father was a senior tactical analyst for the English National Team. The Euro 2020 Tournament was about to be a real family affair...

10 July 2021

It had been 2 months since she last had any contact with her family. 3 months ago, Amelia signed a contract with the Federcalcio, the governing body of football in Italy, to become the Azzurri’s tactical analyst for the foreseeable European Football Championship. In turn, her silky signature at the bottom of the agreement, also constituted a digital and physical contact ban with members of her family that were also involved with the tournament...her father and her brother.

At the time of the contract, and against her better judgement, Amelia hadn’t told her family of her opportunity. She knew her father would be proud, but her brother would be bitter. Her mother was switzerland, completely neutral and rooting for both of her children - but that's not how football works. No matter your role you have a job to do, and you do everything you can to make sure it is your team that lifts the trophy at the end of the tournament. So, on May 23rd her family congratulated her for another successful season at Juventus, and unbeknownst to them, said goodbye for the next 2 months. Until the day before the final match of the tournament, Italy v. England.

Her heart dropped when England won their semi final match against Denmark. She wanted nothing more than for her brother to be happy and for her father to succeed, but she didn’t want to have to go up against them in the final. Ultimately, she knew they were good, but she also knew that she could hold her own and compete with the best. Having a close relationship with her brother, up until this period, meant that she often paid attention to the premier league. This was a major benefit to her as she had already started analysing the azzurri’s opponents. It was her job to know what foot Raheem Sterling preferred to pass with, what direction Declan Rice preferred to take the ball up the field, what direction of receiving the ball did Harry Maguire struggle the most with. So that's how she spent the three days between matches, solidifying her knowledge of her opponents & predicting the plays her dad would be instructing the English team to complete, to attempt to outperform the Italians. However nothing would prepare her for the knock on her suite door, or for what was on the other side…

_____________________________________________________________

“Ciao Amelia, vieni con me per favore. abbiamo organizzato una visita supervisionata con tuo fratello prima della finale di domani sera. sorpresa!” (hi amelia, come with me please. we have arranged a supervised visit with your brother prior to the final tomorrow night. surprise!). I stood there in shock staring at one of my players & closest friends, Federico Bernardeschi. I was a person who didn't enjoy spontaneity, who thrived off of preparation and organisation. I needed the opportunity to overthink every situation so that I could prepare for every possible outcome. This was not my idea of a good time. Of course I missed my brother, but I know just how volatile he can be. Nevertheless, I grabbed my jacket and shoved my sneakers on before following Fede down the hall and into a blacked out van that was waiting to take me to St. George’s Park for my family reunion.

Upon arriving, and after a stern pep talk from Fede (who was my appointed supervisor for the visit - not sure I would say he was the most responsible choice but he did talk some sense into me) I walked into the main entrance and saw my father leaning against the reception desk waiting for me.

“Papa!!” I called as I walked over to him, ready to smother him with my love and affection. My father, Dean White, and I had as good of a relationship as possible, being that he was always heavily involved with my brother Ben’s footballing career as well as his own. I think when I came along, my father didn't know how to be a girl dad, so he took my mothers advice and just involved me like he would Ben. I was glad that I would be seeing him first, and he would be taking me to see my no-doubt pissed off brother.

“Dad, this is Fede, one of my players”

“Ciao Dean, it’s very nice to meet you but i am also her bodyguard for this evening” Fede introduced himself to my father and they exchanged pleasantries. I had a look around the foyer of the facility until I heard my name brought up in conversation.

“Amelia, come on. The boys are just over here. I don’t think you have long before heading back to your camp” My dad called to me. Boys? As in...more than just my brother?

“Hahaha that's funny dad, just show me to his room and we can have our screaming match there. Should only be about 20 or so minutes”

“Ben’s not in his room, we have a recreation room for the players and staff to lounge about and relax in. Pretty sure he’ll be in there. Come on, you’ve never been scared of your brother before. Why start now?” Before I knew it, Dad was leading us through some doors and into a large common area with bean bags, pool tables and couches - all occupied by current first team members of the English National Football team.

“Dean mate, don’t normally see you down here after 7pm. Oh look at that, someone let the trash in.” A loud mouthed player, that I used to adore as if he was my own brother, calls out as he notices us enter the room. And just like that, I shake off my nerves, stand in front of my taller & more argumentative bodyguard, relax my shoulders and stare into the eyes of Kyle Walker - daring him to challenge me and push me further.

“Relax Kyle, Benjamin White - your sister is here to see you.” Dad cut Kyle off. I didn’t need him to defend me against Kyle’s harsh comments, I could defend myself.

“Wow, I thought hell would freeze over before I got the opportunity to speak to you. Of course, I didn't realise hell would look quite like seeing you in that shade of blue.” My brother, Ben, spoke bitterly at me as he approached me from the other side of the room. This, coupled with Walker’s exclamation earlier, got the attention of the majority of the players scattered about.

“Ben, if you let me explain in private I'm sure you will be able to understand why things had to be this way” I tried to reason with him. Letting go of my always-defensive guard and pleading with my big brother to open his mind to see my side of the story.

“As if I would even talk to you right now, the night before the final, you’re probably here to try and get some insider information. Boys make sure you don’t say anything to her, she’s as sly as they come” Ben’s words were as sharp as a knife - but I knew what I had to say would cut him deeper.

“Ok that's enough! You are ridiculous! What did you expect me to do? Not take the job because you’re my brother? This is my career we are talking about here” I challenged him. “If you think for one second i stopped supporting you then you must be even more stupid than i thought. Of course this isn't the ideal situation, I'm proud of you for reaching a final but I'm just as proud of myself for doing the same thing.” I got progressively closer to my brother, who stood there with his hands beside himself, unable to get a word in.

“I came tonight to wish you good luck, to tell you I loved you, to give you a hug and tell you to stay safe and play smart. Whilst I still wish all of this for you, I now want you to know that I want you to play your best so I can be better than you. I can show you exactly how good at my job I am. I want you to know that no matter what way you play the ball, I'll be right there waiting for you. I am prepared for this, I hope you are too - so that it will feel that much more sweet when we beat you” I sneered at my older brother, who at this point, is quite visibly feeling a mixture of shock and embarrassment.

I take a step back, let out a breath and shake the tension from my shoulders. Breaking eye contact with my brother, I look briefly - yet confidently - at the other players in the room and take a step back. I turned to my dad, who was looking at me solemnly, as though he wasn’t happy with my outburst but understood it came from a place of frustration with my sibling. Walking up, giving him a kiss on the cheek and wishing him luck, I turned to look at Fede and began to walk to the door. This interaction with my brother, although supposed to be a nice moment shared between siblings, has only gone and motivated me to be at my best tomorrow, to prepare my players to go to war and to come out the other side victorious.

Part 2 | seconda parte

[jadegrey711]

I Wasn’t Expecting That (Part 2)

Eric Northman X Fem!Reader

A/N: Hello my loves! So a while back I posted the first part of this oneshot with Eric Northman and I got a few comments saying they wanted a part two which I definitely wasn’t planning on doing but in one of my insomnia episodes I came up with the plot for part two! Be warned it’s super angsty which is a rarity coming from me. 

*NOT MY GIF*

Word Count: 1487

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

Soundtrack Inspiration: 

-Cruel World: Active Child 

-Cold: Aqualung, Lucy Schwartz

- I wish I knew: Shron Van Etten

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711)

Everything around you was dark. Dark and suffocating. You felt like you were coated in that darkness as it laid heavily over every inch of your skin, over your mouth suffocating you, and your eyes as it blinded you further. You felt the fear get the best of you as you started to claw your way out of the darkness, you felt it as it clung under your fingernails. You tried to blink it away as it got in your eyes but there was no use, you let your panic guide you through the cloying darkness as you finally broke free and saw the face of your own personal heaven; Eric.

You felt your chest relax a bit at the site of his smooth face, his blue eyes wide with worry. Maybe this truly was heaven and even here in this heavenly place, they let you have your monster.

He held his hand out for you to take, a small smile starting to form on his face at the sight of you.

“Eric.” You whispered, hearing just how rough your voice sounded to your own ears and reached your hand out to take his. But when you did you were startled at how solid it felt under your hand. With your hand still in his you turned his hand around examining it, his touch felt so real like he was actually here. Then you felt it.

Hunger.

A deep chest aching hunger rushed through you, you shook your head in confusion and watched as the small smile on Eric’s face faded as he watched you put the pieces together.

“Y/N.”  He whispered softly, like you were a frightened animal he was trying to coax from falling over a ledge.

You let go of Eric’s hand and turned your head to look back at what he had just pulled you out of. A hole.

“No.” You whispered. Looking at the massive hole where you just clawed your way out of and then back to Eric. And you finally saw the dirt he was covered in.

“Y/N. I can explain but first you have to eat.” He said in a firm but still soft voice and pulled a blood bag from behind his back.

“Oh God, Eric.” You whispered, feeling tears coming to your eyes. And the memory of your final moments came back to you. The feel of the bullet tearing through your chest, your heart slowing, and Eric’s voice roaring as you faded into that sweet darkness.

You looked down at yourself and saw the blood that coated your shirt right where your heart was. You felt that panic washing over you again in waves as you frantically tried to find the bullet hole. You teared open your shirt and clawed at your chest trying to find it, hoping that this was some sort of sick joke.

Eric reached his hands out to stop you. But you slapped him away. “Y/N. Let me explain, please.”

“You didn’t Eric!” You shouted, feeling the tears stream down your face as all the pieces came together.

Shame crossed Eric’s face.

“Please Eric, tell me you didn’t. That you didn’t do this to me!” You screamed, rubbing the tears from your eyes but stopped cold as you looked at your fingers. They were covered in blood. You truly were vampire now, blood tears and all.

“Y/N.” He said, reaching for you again and this time not letting you stop him as he enveloped you in his strong arms. But you couldn’t stop looking at your fingers.

“Oh my God.”

“You couldn’t understand why I did it.” he said softly against your dirt covered hair. “One minute you were by my side and then the next you were jumping in front of me, taking a bullet in the heart. Pam told me you were too far gone, but-”

You cut him off, pushing at his chest and surprising yourself when you were able to push him away. “You were selfish.”

Eric looked pained at that. “I couldn’t just let you die Y/N! You had so much life left to live and… and I just couldn’t bear the thought of it being ripped away from you.” “And you call this living? Feeding off of people and living in darkness?” You watched as Eric ground his teeth. “I died saving you!” You shoved at his chest again and felt a small amount of satisfaction at watching him stumble. “I took a bullet for you and this is what you do!” You shouted and shoved at Eric again and he let you. He let you get all of your anger out as you continued shoving and punching his chest.

“I died a hero’s death and then you turn me into a fucking monster!” You screamed, giving Eric one last punch hard enough to knock him to the ground. You felt your shoulders sag and then you fell to your knees, letting your blood tears fall to the ground. You felt like all your energy had been sapped out of you, you knew it was the hunger but you dreaded knowing that you’d have to feed.

Eric was already back on his feet and standing in front of you. “I know I was selfish. But, there is no life for me without you, Y/N. There never will be and even if it takes years for you to forgive me I will be right there until you do.”

“What if I never forgive you?” You asked your voice calm and even as you looked up at his pained face.

“Then that’s your choice. I’ve taken enough of your choices.”

Both of you were silent as you stewed over your choices.

“Before you decide to hate me forever can you please just eat. You maybe vampire now but you’ve had nothing to eat and you're weak.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want that.”

“Y/N.” he said in a firm voice.

“Fuck Eric! Lay off! I’m covered in blood and dirt and I’m going to retch at the idea of drinking that right now. I just want to wash everything off of me. Okay?”

Eric just nodded and held out his hand again for you to take.

**** You sighed softly at the feel of the shower washing off all the dirt and blood that was still on you from last night. You watched as the blood swirled down the drain, the last remnants of your human life being washed from you.

You turned the shower up, feeling that your skin was still cold but you still didn’t feel the warmth of the shower seep through your skin. So, you turned it up hotter and hotter. But still you felt nothing as you stood there under the scalding water but you were still cold on the inside.

You don’t know how long you had been standing here in that shower, but without realizing it you saw Eric’s hand reach past the shower curtain and turn down the water before he stepped inside himself. He was naked but there was nothing sexual between you as he climbed into the shower and grabbed the shampoo and started washing the dirt from your hair.

He was gentle as he covered your eyes and washed the soap from your hair then grabbed the conditioner and began to repeat the process. All the while he whispered to himself in another language but you couldn’t be bothered to find out what he was saying.

There was a time when you dreamt about your life with Eric and how it didn’t matter how happy you were with each other there would always be a time when you’d have to say goodbye to one another. Whether it was a few years down the line or in death. But, now there would be no goodbye unless you decided to leave him and you were pretty sure that even if it would kill him he would let you go this time. Like he said, he had taken enough of your choices.

You were tired of being angry, tired of thinking about what your life would be like now. You knew why he did it, and honestly you couldn’t say that you wouldn’t do the same for him, you did take a bullet for him. You just wanted to enjoy the feel of Eric’s hands on you again, wanted to enjoy the fact that you could hold him again.

So, you turned in his arms and wrapped your arms around his waist holding him tight. You heard his small sigh as he wrapped his hands around your head and held you as he stroked your wet hair.

You both had a lot to discuss for the future and maybe that future didn’t include Eric but right now you wanted to enjoy the first spark of warmth in your chest you felt all night.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Laito [VAMPIRE ENDING]

ー The scene starts in the hallway at Eden

Yui: ( ...I’ve reached my limit...!! I... )

Laito: Yui-chan...! Hang...in there!

Yui: Laito-kun...Uu...

Laito: I’ll save you right now...!

ーー Kuh, uu...!!

Yui: ( Laito-kun...At this rate...! )

Laito-kun...Just forget about me...and runーー

Laito: I refuse...!

*Rumble rumble*

Yui: Laito-kun!!

Laito: !!

Yui: I’ll be okay so...

Laito: Don’t say that...I will...save you...!

*Rumble rumble*

Yui: ( Laito-kun...!! )

Laito: Come on! Don’t close your eyes, grab my hand...!!

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“My life has been worth it, simply because I was able to meet you. ...Thank you.”

“Fuck...! These stupid flames...! ...But don’t worry, Bitch-chan. I’ll keep you safe.”

Yui: ...!!

Laito: ...! Thank god...I made it just in time...

*Rustle*

Laito: Ugh...

Yui: Laito-kun, did you hurt yourself...!?

Laito: Fufu...It’s just a scratch...

It’s such a trivial matter, when I consider I could have lost you.

Yui: Laito-kun...

Laito: Even if I have been nothing but a marionette my whole life, my love for you is genuine.

Just like you said.

Even if everything else went exactly according to his plans, there’s at least one thing.

One thing which that guy has no say in. That’s...our feelings.

Yui: Yeah...You’re right.

Laito: I’ve been aimlessly walking around in a thorny forest, and tried to forget about the pain by numbing my own emotions.

However, a cute princess who wandered into that forest...she reminded me.

These feelings she taught me...They are forever.

Yui: Yeah...

Laito: My feelings are the only thing I can say are entirely my own. And what this heart of mine seeks outーー

That is the sole truth in my eyes...

Yui: Yeah...Exactly...You’re right. Laito-kun...

Laito: Cough cough...The fire...! Fuck, they flames have reached this far...

Yui: Ugh...

( Is there no way out...? )

( However, now that our hearts have become one, I feel like we found happiness regardless... )

*Flash*

Yui: ...Eh?

Laito: The door...The door to the Chamber of Time...opened...?

Yui: What is happening?

( It refused to even budge when Laito-kun was screaming at the top of his lungs. )

Karlheinz: ーー You who are fit to be Adam. You have been granted entry.

Now, step forward aiming for Eden.

Laito: ...!?

Yui: Karlheinz-san?

ー They enter the Chamber of Time

Yui: ( This is the Chamber of Time...It’s a very mysterious place... )

( I’m scared, yet strangely calm at the same time... )

Laito: ...

Karlheinz: No need to glare at me like that, Laito.

Laito: I’m not glaring. I just figured there’s something I should tell you beforehand. 

I’m no longer your puppet.

Karlheinz: Hmph.

Laito: I’m not quite sure what you’re setting me up for. However...

I have zero interest in carrying on your intentions.

No matter what those may be.

Karlheinz: I see. That is a shame.

Laito: The fact you don’t seem to feel any regret at all really gets on my nerves. ...Honestly, I can’t believe you...

You knew I would turn out like this, didn’t you?

Karlheinz: ...I wonder?

Laito: You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you. I bet you know what comes next too, don’t you?

Karlheinz: ...

Laito: Your silence proves that I’m right. Why did you let us in here?

Karlheinz: To give my blessings to the anticipated future. 

Laito: Your blessings? 

Karlheinz: You, who has become Adam, allow me to entrust you with this power...

Laito: ...!?

Karlheinz: You have become the first Demon who obtained the truth and learnt to experience human sentiment.

Therefore, I shall grant you my strength. Come on, accept it.

You will need these powers.

Laito: ...No thank you.

Yui: ...?

Laito: If you want to see me die from sheer self-hatred after accepting those powers, then go ahead and force them upon me.

Karlheinz: ...

Laito: I don’t care what you think. I’m free nowーー

Karlheinz: I see.

Laito: Goodbye.

Karlheinz: ...

ー The scene shifts back to the hallway

Yui: Laito-kun, are you sure you did the right thing?

Laito: Nfu~ I did. I don’t want those powers at all.

Come on, let’s go. Let’s leave Eden together.

Yui: ...Yeah...

Laito: I’m sure many trials will wait ahead of Adam and Eve after they’ve left Eden.

But you’ll come with me, right?

Yui: Yeah, of course!

ー The scene shifts back to the Chamber of Time

Karlheinz: ーー Good grief.

Socrates: Despite sighing, you seem happy somehow.

How does it feel to play the part of the ultimate villain?

Karlheinz: What happens to me is of no concern. As long as I consider that this will aid in the birth of a new humankind. 

Regardless of the circumstances, I have lost this fight.

Socrates: I think you are the only person I know who could rejoice in a loss, my friend.

Karlheinz: ーー Let us put the match on hold for a while.

Socrates: Very well.

Monologue

Surrounded by a sea of flames,

the two of us fled Eden hand-in-hand.

Amidst the scorching fire blocking our path,

Laito-kun somehow seemed happy.

At last...

We might just have obtained,

the freedom we’ve always wished for.

*TIMESKIP*

Monologue

In the end, it turned out that the one who set fire to Eden back then,

had been Shin-kun.

Afterwards, this escalated into an all-out war,

between the two Founders and the other demonic races.

The Sakamaki and Mukami brothers quickly became involved in this conflict,

with every day being just as busy as the last.

However, Laito-kun is the only one...

who insists that the war is none of his business.

He seemed to be enjoying his new freedom of mind to the fullest.

Perhaps they had realized this, 

but despite the many complaints from his brothers, none of them opposed his behavior.

I believe this might have been his brothers’ way,

to show that they actually do care about Laito-kun.

ー The scene shifts to the forest

Laito: ーー Phew. Now we just have to put a stone on top. ...There.

*Thud*

Yui: Done?

Laito: Nfu~ It’s complete. Come on, this way. I want you to be the first person I show this to.

*Rustle*

Laito: What do you think?

Yui: ーー I think it’s great. I’m sure Cordelia is very happy as well.

Laito: Fufu, I’m not so sure about that?

Yui: I’m positive.

Laito: When you say that, I’m tempted to believe it.

Yui: ( Cordelia’s grave. I was very shocked when Laito-kun suddenly said he would make her one. )

( This shows that Laito-kun was finally able to make peace with his past and move on, right? )

Laito: ...

Yui: I wonder if she’ll be able to rest in peace now?

Laito: Well, I doubt it.

Yui: Really...?

Laito: I mean, she was quite the fierce personality after all. The word ‘peaceful’ just doesn’t apply to her.

ーー However, now I’ve come to realize that this might have been what made her pain twice as bad.

Of course, I suffered too, and was hurt in many ways. However, by doing so...Sheーー

When I consider that she did those things, hoping that perhaps it would make Karlheinz finally look her way...

She suddenly seems so miserable..pitiful, and so very pathetic...

Yet incredibly sorrowfulーー

Yui: Laito-kun...

Laito: Her ways were wrong. However, that was a fate none of us could have escaped.

As a result, I was hurt. However, this is also what allowed me to eventually meet you.

Because I have had to bear many struggles (1), there was a truth to be discovered at the end of it all, don’t you think?

Yui: Yeah, I’m sure.

Laito: ...

Yui: ...

*Rustle*

Laito: ...

Yui: Um...Are you sure you don’t want to stay longer?

Laito: Yeah.

Yui: ーー Even though you’re crying?

Laito: Nfu~ These are happy tears because I’m thinking of our future together.

Yui: You’re joking around...even right now?

Laito: I’m not joking. How cruel.

...Come on, let’s go.

Yui: Yeah...

Laito: ーー See you. Mother.

Yui: !!

( Laito-kun referred to Cordelia as ‘Mother’ for the first time ever... )

( ...I’m glad. )

( With this...Laito-kun’s heart has truly been set free. )

ーー Where are we headed next?

Laito: Nfu~ I guess we should return to the human world for now? I’m pretty sure we’ll get involved in some annoying conflict if we stay here.

Yui: You haven’t made any concrete plans yet?

Laito: No. Not really. Disappointed?

Yui: No, Iーー

Laito: ‘ーーI will go anywhere as long as we’re together!’, right?

Yui: ...!!

Laito: Ah, I was right? I figured so. Well then, let’s depart to our lovely castle in the human worldー!

Yui: A castle in the human world...?

Laito: Nfu~ A wonderful place~ You’ve got nothing to worry about if you just leave everything to me.

Yui: ( That sounds a little fishy coming from him but oh well. )

( I also like that side of him after all. )

Laito: Ahー I’m so excited. Let’s do all things we’ve missed out on so far...Like ‘this’ and ‘that’~

Yui: What are you thinking of?

Laito: Eeh~? You’re curious? Sure, I don’t mind telling you...

Yui: N-No, nevermind, I don’t want to hear...!

Laito: Nfufu~ Oh come on, don’t say that. My precious Princess Bitch~!

Yui: Don’t call me that...!

Laito: Eeh~? Let me think? I can’t help myself when you protest like that though?

Yui: Laito-kun...Please...!

Laito: Nfu~ Then, ‘cutie’~

Yui: T-That’s kind of embarrassing too because I’m not used to you calling me that...

Laito: Eeh? Really? Then, ‘Bitch-chan’?

Yui: Yeah, that’s fiーー Wait.

That one’s getting a no too!

Laito: Fufufu~ I can’t believe you want to be called ‘Bitch-chan’. Honestly, you’re just so...Nfu~ 

ーー Very cute!

Yui: ...!!

( Laito-kun’s this happy yet he can still be himself. )

( That...makes me happier than anything else. )

( Since you remain by my side to this day, we can both vow our love for each other. )

( Now, until foreverーー )

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) He continues to use the ‘thorns’ metaphor here, saying that he walked a path full of thorns. 

[blushing-titan]

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about chapter 138 again, and I came to a few conclusions. First and foremost, I’m surprised at the amount of Mikasa’s fans who are happy about the possibility of the cabin vision being an actual AU. Mikasa has been one of my favorite characters pretty much since the beginning, but I feel like - if the AU is real - it’s a huge step back for her progress and general well-being. Let me explain my point below - warning, it’s pretty long! I’ll be using manga panels (I obviously don’t own them, all credits go to the author!), and there will be spoilers.

My perspective on Eremika

I’m a firm believer that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship is a bit too unhealthy for Mikasa, at least in it’s current state - to me, it’s clear as a day that it’s way too unbalanced. Mikasa just invests more in it - it’s been shown countless times, both in the manga and anime, that Eren’s safety and well-being is her top priority. He’s on her mind most of the times and she constantly wants to be near him - she thinks of him as her safe place and home.

But what about Eren? He’s often irritated and suffocated by her overprotectiveness. He’s quite a proud person who doesn’t want to be constantly saved - despite generally needing it sometimes. In my eyes, it’s another imbalance - Eren wants to be the strong one, but since Mikasa is just naturally better at that, he constantly feels belittled, like it’s a form of rivalry.

On top of that, throught the entire series Eren has his own set of dreams and goals that doesn’t necessarily always revolve around Mikasa - all while Mikasa makes up her plans and goals solely around Eren. She even admits that all she wants is just to be at his side.

What concerns me too, however, is that Mikasa often puts Eren’s safety and well-being over her own - and it’s something that she realizes. 

Sometimes, Mikasa’s friends act as a voice of reason, but when someone tries to raise any objections or concerns against Eren, she usually backs him up or tries to rationalize his actions. In the example below, Jean is concerned about the scar that Mikasa got after she got attacked by Eren (right after Eren lost control over his titan in chapter 12).

On top of that, Mikasa can be very passive, and even uncritical when it comes to Eren’s more questionable actions. There are times in which the latter can get a bit too blunt, or even straight up mean, but Mikasa either protects him, tries to justify his actions or is literally immobilized by them - like in the scene in which Eren insults her and proceeds to fight Armin, who’s been trying to back her up. Notice how Mikasa is unable to stop Eren from continuously attacking Armin (when, a reminder, the latter one stood up for her), but immediately jumps in to stop Armin from attacking Eren. You can clearly see that even she is shocked by her reaction.

We can also see her being in denial about Eren’s hurtful actions later on. She doesn’t even want to talk about it when Jean brings it up:

She’s also still concerned and worried about Eren a few chapters later, after he had done and stated that he’s about to do terrible things - even at times when her other friends were endangered. This time, it’s Armin who tries to act as a voice of reason.

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves: 

Do I think that Eren doesn’t care about Mikasa, or even hate her (as he said)? No - she’s obviously extremely important to him and he was definitely lying during the table scene. Personally, I’ve never seen him having any romantic feelings towards her, but that doesn’t mean anything - love doesn’t always have to be romantic and I 100% believe that she’s still someone who he holds very dear to his heart. There are many moments that show that he’s also very protective of her, and that - along with Armin - she’s one of the most important people in his life. 

But my point still stands - aside from that, the relationship is just too unbalanced to be considered healthy, especially for Mikasa. Both Eren and Mikasa see it in different light, which often cause them to collide. I just can’t help but feel like Mikasa sacrifices too much for it, too - she often ends up jeopardizing her safety, constantly worries about Eren and clashes with her friends because of it. To some extent, Eren may be doing some of these things as well - but let’s be 100% honest, never nearly as much as Mikasa does. He fiercly protects her when she’s in danger and backs her up when he agrees with her, but at the end of the day he has his own goals and opinions. He doesn’t fixate himself with Mikasa nearly as much as Mikasa does it with him - he’s never jealous of anything but her skills, meanwhile she's often on alert when he’s around other girls. In the manga, she’s displaying jealousy over Annie and Historia, in the anime we can add Hanji to that pool, while in A.O.T. Wings of Freedom she’s also jealous of Sasha and even freckled Ymir - all while Eren remains oblivious and - in these situations, rightfully so - annoyed.

We know that there are reasons why Mikasa treats Eren like this. He obviously saved her life when they were children, but it’s also because she was strongly traumatized by losing both her biological family, and then people who took care of her right after that. It’s only natural that she does anything in her power to not go through that again...

...but it’s important to question if the way her relationship with Eren goes - how she commits to it 100% and how it affects her - is really the best way for her to heal and eventually live a happy life. I believe that Eren himself saw that it was becoming too toxic for Mikasa - and, considering that he actually cares for her and knows that he doesn’t have all the time in the world, he focused on making her move on. In my opinion, that’s why he wanted to push her away during the table scene. It’s also why he tried to get rid of the scarf that Louise brought to him. Even if the execution is far from perfect, he still wants what’s best for her, so he tries to put an end to enabling her unhealthy coping practices. He wants her to live a long, happy life.

Soooo...how does “the cabin AU” fit into all of this?

The answer is simple - it doesn’t. It’s a huge mixture and repetition of everything that’s harmful about Mikasa’s obsession with Eren. It’s a confirmation that Mikasa would be able to leave the entire world for 4 years of constant lying to herself. To betray her friends, leave everything behind, act as if everything was going to be okay and, in turn, make it all worse for herself. Because let me remind you one thing - Mikasa will go on living after Eren looses to the titan curse...but what will she do from now on? Will she stay in the cabin forever, alone and with no one to talk to - no one to share the pain after saying her final goodbye to Eren? Will she come back to the war-ridden world and face her old friends - like Armin who must have been frantically looking for her and Eren? Some of these friends may not want to have anything to do with her after all that - some may be already dead. Maybe there’s no place to go at all.

In my opinion, Eren being okay with this would ultimately prove that he doesn’t care about Mikasa’s wellbeing - and, as I’ve said before I just don’t think that’s the case at all. On top of that, as stated in the beginning, it would serve as a regress of Mikasa’s character - she wouldn’t be able to overcome her weaknesses, which would only make her life harder in the long run. Therefore, I simply can’t accept this vision to be an AU. What do I think it was, then?

Mikasa believes in Eren’s good heart, despite all awful things he commits - she repeatedly says that he does it all for them - his friends...and yet she wants to believe that there must have been a way to not let it all happen. A part of her may be blaming herself, which is why she questions if she could have changed anything by giving him a different answer. 

To me, it’s very obvious and I have to admit: I was horrified to see the amount of fans saying “If only she hadn’t family-zoned him, so many people would still be alive!”. Mikasa was NEVER to blame here and her answer should never have a force to change something like that. At the end of the day, it was Eren’s decision to go on with the rumbling, and I hate to see Mikasa (and the fans, too!) putting any blame for it on her.

In conclusion, I really believe that the vision was Mikasa’s daydream - most likely created as a coping mechanism since at this point she knew what was about to happen - what she had to do. Not any AU flashback, but rather a poor, traumathised girl trying to come to terms with the cruel reality - and ultimately reclaiming her strength. In her mind, she comes back to her safe place for a few moments, just to get a bit of comfort - a place where she and Eren live peacefully and safely. In fact, the panel below may suggest that she was dreaming about something similar ever since the training days:

I also believe that, at some point, Eren enters that dream - perhaps somehow through paths, or is sent there by Ymir. There, he once again reminds Mikasa that he wants her to live long, be free and forget about him.

I think in the end, Mikasa rejects that fake utopia, finally understanding that it could never happen and it was not her fault. She accepts the reality as it is and stops rationalizing Eren’s actions. She also comes to terms with her feelings towards him, but won’t let it cloud her judgement anymore. She will remember him and cherish these memories forever, but acknowledges that it has gone too far - she chooses humanity, the world and finally: a long, happy life for her. Just like Eren would want for her.

This time, Mikasa wraps the scarf around herself.

If you’re here, wow - thank you so much for reading, it means a lot! I’m sorry for any mistakes I’ve made while writing - English is not my first language and I didn’t really have anyone to beta-read this long wall of text xd Hope I made my points clear - and just to clarify, my text is not an invitation for any ugly Mikasa haters. As I’ve said before, she’s one of my favorite characters and I hope for the best for her - she’s been through so much, poor girl needs a break :C

[yostresswritinggirl]

hello, i love your writin'!! seriously, it's so cool to read and im just ajdhsish and this is the first thing- second thing, would you be comfortable with writin' albedo x gn reader (headcanons are cool yknow!) who dislikes goin' outside alone? like, they worry that somethin' bad will happen to them or are a bit scared of doin' things that might go wrong around people, so they prefer goin' outside with someone? (they also want to get rid of their fears but have no ideas how) i will understand if you don't want to so dw!! 👉👈

First thing, thank you so much for requesting! This took a while, I'm so sorryy! This was supposed to come out yesterday but I got sick and barely had the brainpower to even stand :(( feels better now tho so yey? And yess ahhh thank you for your kind words, you guys have been wonderful too, give yourself some credit too!

This is the last Albedo request in the inbox and woohoo, we ended this streak in one of the hard prompts I've come by so far ahaha

I'm not sure if I interpreted anon right but this shall be a fic as originally requested? I'm apologizing in advance because I don't think I've captured this scenario well enough hehe,,, but I hope you still enjoy this!

Keep Me Intertwined

Albedo with a gn!reader that's scared of going out alone (Mild Social Phobia?)

Albedo is a genuis, everybody knows that, even beyond the walls of Mondstadt. Praised and sought out by scholars to ask for his wisdom and a majority of the time they receive their desired enlightenment.

Indeed, the Kreideprinz is a genuis even if he says otherwise, but he's a genuis in the art of Kemia. And only that. Truth be told there are a lot of things he lacks when it comes to knowledge, as his focus is only in the science he wants to explore. Beyond that, he comes close to a child's understanding of the world.

When he bumped into you when he was strolling through the stalls during a market fair of travelling merchants, he'd thought it would be something he can shrug off easily, but as he moves his head to look at the perpetrator he'd hear a squeak of a "sorry" and a running figure. What?

Albedo silently pats himself down as he continues to watch as the silhouette disappears farther, with a calculating gaze to memorize all their features for... future references.

After he made sure it wasn't a thief that bumped to him to pickpocket, he immediately moves on without another thought.

"Ah, you're the one from the marketplace yesterday." In all honesty, your second meeting was quicker to come than he expected, and at the most curious location of all places. In the Knights of Favonius HQ. How had he not heard or seen of you before?

Your shoulders tense at the sound before you even closed the door of which you came from. This was a room he's never seen anyone use, he realized. Was this where you've been residing all this time? What an oversight on his part but it seems that you two share the common practice of barely leaving your quarters.

When you turned around, behind those surprised eyes lies a gentleness of relief he has not seen a mixture of in the ones he'd observed before. "O-Oh, Chief Alchemist! I'm really sorry about that, I was- I'm really sorry!" He hums in contemplation before shaking his head, assuring you it was a matter that caused no harm.

There was more to it, but his thoughts are distracted with his current task at hand, and with a short goodbye he made his way out down the hall where the stairs resides.

His heavy boots clap on the carpeted floor...

Paired with shuffling light ones to try and match his stride.

Huh? "Are you perhaps going outside?" He confirms with a soft yes as he continues his walk. What are you implying? "Is it okay if I join your company? I uhm also need to get some stuff from outside." He just nods, not one for small talk or questioning. It's nothing much to think about really—

Your loose and subtle grip around the chains hanging by his coat seem to ground him from his musings as you two traverse through Mondstadt in a normal gait. He tries not to think about it too much, but the way you look around with unease when you near other people or your desperate strides to stay a respectable distance to him were things he observed during the walk. Albedo was no man of science focusing on human personality and it bothers him.

It was like a game of cat and mouse between you two running errands, he'll detour to the side and you'll follow him, and if you need to drop by to a building then he'll have to follow you.

And he doesn't know why. Is it because of his mannerism towards taking care of Klee? Or his feeling of responsibility for bringing you along?

During this whole ordeal the Chief Alchemist has brought himself a bright idea (it is not) and went into his scientific mode. He watches you talk to one of the citizens about a commission you had finished yesterday and after confirming your undivided attention, he quietly slips away from the area to visit the Alchemy stall where Timaeus would surely be working on.

It took about an hour before he was allowed to use the table, because Timaeus took so long working on his forgery. Goodness that man needs to work on his studies more.

Ah, speaking of— Albedo realized he'd just up and left you for an hour. Without a second thought he retraced his steps to where he had last seen you. Surely you would have gone off to do your own thing, probably finished up your errands by now and had gone back to the Knights headquarters.

An unmoving force made him tumble forward as his coat seemed to have been caught. If you were there, it would be a sight to see, a rare moment of the Kreideprinz so uncomposed and shocked as he catches himself with a sputter. What the hell? His head snaps to look over his shoulder at such incredible speed, you'd thought it really would have snapped—

The clutch on his chain accessory tightens. With your head down low he couldn't see what expression you were, but your tense shoulders shake with a tremor similar to that of an on-going earthquake. His guilt was more obvious as your knuckles turn white from the deadly grip.

"Albedo-!" You exclaimed in what seems to be a cross between a whine and a whimper. "You disappeared, I couldn't- I couldn't leave..."

He hides a sigh as you refuse to look up to show your face. And in a comforting manner he has 'mastered' with a certain someone, he gently pries off your tight grip (with some urging pats to get you to loosen) before interlocking your fingers with his gloved ones. And he smiles as genuinely as he can, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Are you done here? It's almost night, we should get moving."

Your nod of agreement was a breath of fresh air to him.

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

Days after that were pretty much as uneventful as uneventful it could be for Albedo's lifestyle.

Holed up in his laboratory for days without rest like the madman he is. Master's alembic and grounds of scarlet quartz able to keep his mind occupied to not wonder. Hyperfocused, no one has seen him out, only Sucrose dropping by with an 'assistant pass' despite the experiment on-going sign hanging by his doorknob.

When he finally stepped out to the hallway, three days already passed. The door behind him clicks as it locks, a sound that echoed with the door four rooms apart to his.

Kaeya looks up from your doorknob when he noticed the approaching silhouette. "Oh, Chief Alchemist? Finally came out of your cave." He quipped as he leans his shoulder against your room's door, visible eyebrow raising slightly after noticing the fleeting gaze Albedo passed at the door.

"Cavalry Captain, good evening. What were you doing there?" Straight to the point.

The taller man's eyebrow rose higher before he composed his amusement. "I didn't expect you to be into rumors, Albedo." The Alchemist's brows furrows in response. "No harm done, worry not. I just accompanied them on their trip outside before retreating for the night."

Humming to himself, Albedo's eyes wonder back to your doorknob before it was protectively shielded by the man's... white fur cloak?

"I also heard you left them alone when you two were out. I didn't expect you to be such a cruel man, amping up their fear after the progress they've made." Fear? Progress? More questions swirled within the genius' mind the more he talked with this.

Kaeya had noticed his faraway look and pieced together the context. Finally, he offered to explain the background of the issue and Albedo was ecstatic to listen in, a first with the blunette.

"Do you understand it now?"

"Mhm."

"Then I'll leave them to your care, I'm sure your genius mind can come up with something."

"Huh?"

And thus you find yourself standing at the bottom steps of the Ordo Favonius HQ the next morning, hand in hand with the Chief Alchemist you've last seen four days ago. Doesn't he have better things to do? No, he reasoned the solution he worked on will take two days to formulate the desired sediment, and so he has that timeframe free for the taking.

You would have been confused and wary he'd abandon you again—

Were you not forced to listen to the two dummies talk about YOU right outside your ROOM.

"You uhm, you don't have to hold my hand during this whole trip, Master Albedo."

"Albedo." He corrected. "And this is necessary, much more convenient and predictable than pulling on my chains really." A touch of a blush framed your cheeks with embarrassment.

"I have nothing in my itinerary today, so feel free to tug me along. It is, after all, the most I can do for what happened."

Despite the rough texture from the long use, the leathered hand in yours brought about more comfort than you would have thought.

Bonus:

The solar isotoma sparkled in pure golden beauty in front of you, but it didn't prevent the anxiety bubbling inside as you watch Albedo hop over the ledge with the help of his geo construct. "What- what are you doing?"

"Experiment. I'll be up in the roof looking over you so you'll know I'm still here, if it makes a difference if your company is far from arms length or not." He replied as he casually hopped over to the roof of a housing unit.

"Albedooo!"

I didn't get to capture all the aspects of the request that I wanted to focus on ahhhhh, I got so conscious of the length I had to stop it! Still ack I hope I captured his personality and context well— and I'm sorry if I amped up the fear more than you gave, I'm not really sure how bad it was supposed to be skskskks

But hey, this being the last Albedo req in my inbox, I am now free from this man *happy sigh* //:Albedo smut leading the leaderboard for the followers event looms over from behind:// *sweats*

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH22

And we’re back! Chapters will resume posting on Fridays both here on tumblr and on AO3 (linked below). I hope you’re ready for the second half of this story. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve that are different from last time, so I hope you all enjoy it!

Previous     First     Next      AO3

Chapter 22: Mean

Marinette chewed her lip, picking at the hem of her shirt. She’d been too nervous to sleep, and the coffee she drank on the way to the hotel made her jittery. Clara and her manager flipped through her designs, the silence eating away at Marinette’s composure. Did Clara like them? Hate them? Had Marinette let her down? Why wasn’t she saying anything?

Clara glanced up at Marinette, a smile curling on her lips. She stood up with an amused giggle and took Marinette’s hands. “Oh, Marinette, you can chill. These designs really fit the bill. Choosing you was in good taste. Eloise, send these to my tailor, posthaste.” Clara winked, and Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. “Truly, great work, Marinette. I love them.”

“I’m glad. Thank you so much for this opportunity.” Marinette bowed.

“Although your formality is rather cutesy, there’s no need since you and I are friends, you see.” She spun Marinette around and pulled her in for a hug. “I felt a connection with you right away. If you ever need anything, you just have to say.”

Marinette’s chest swelled as Clara pulled away and brushed her nose with a finger.

“Eloise, write a check for her beautiful mind.” Clara ordered, pacing over to the piano. “I’ve got an idea for a new song that will be simply divine!”

Clara’s manager tore a check from her book and handed it to Marinette as Clara began to pluck at the piano. Marinette did a double-take to make sure the decimal was in the right place, but before she could protest, Clara’s security guard ushered her out.

“Goodbye, my dearest friend. I’ll miss you until we meet again!” Clara blew a kiss.

As the door closed behind her, Marinette glanced down at the check, heart pounding. Clara liked her designs! She considered Marinette a friend! Oh, she’d love to see the look on Lila’s face the day Clara walked the red carpet in Marinette’s dress.

“I’m so proud of you, Marinette!” Tikki said as Marinette tapped the button for the elevator. “You worked really hard, and it paid off.”

“I’m just happy that Clara liked my designs. It’s not about the money for me. I want to design clothes that make people feel good,” she said, stepping onto the elevator. “I can’t wait to tell everyone over tea this afternoon!”

“Will there be cookies at the tea party?” Tikki asked.

Marinette shot her a knowing smile and brushed her kwami’s nose with one finger. “Control that sweet tooth of yours.”

“I want to celebrate your accomplishments!” Tikki shot back indignantly. “If there happens to be cookies there, then so be it.”

“Tell you what,” Marinette said as the elevator dinged on the first floor. “I told everyone to come over at 2. Why don’t you and I celebrate now? Let’s go get some ice cream.”

Tikki perked up, ducking down into her purse. Marinette shut the clasp as she paced out the front doors of the hotel. Pulling out her phone to see where Andre was stationed today, she failed to look up as she rounded the corner and collided with another person.

“Sorry!” she gasped as they both stumbled backward, but upon seeing the face of her victim, her face hardened.

“Finally apologizing for trying to upstage me? It’s about time,” Lila said.

“I’m sorry for bumping into you. Nothing else.” Marinette rolled her eyes and stepped around her.

“So, you’re not sorry for abandoning all of your friends then? For turning your back on Alya?” Lila asked.

Marinette’s hands balled into fists, but she didn’t stop. “Alya made her choice.”

“And she chose me over you.” Lila smirked. “She even got us matching bff necklaces. She’s so sweet.”

“Congratulations. I’m sure your genuine friendship built on honesty and trust will last a lifetime.” Marinette retorted.

“I’m just glad she finally deleted her blog dedicated to that insect. She has so much more time on her hands to do all of my work,” Lila said. “You know, I’m class representative now since you deserted your post.”

Marinette bit her lip hard. Lila was taunting her, and she knew it. How could anyone be this vindictive? Marinette had always known Lila was evil, but she really had a way of one-upping herself. Marinette made a promise with Adrien to stay out of it, but no matter how far she ran, Lila was always right behind her.

Marinette spun around with a sharp retort on her tongue, but a silver limo pulling up to the curb cut her off. She half expected blond hair to pop out, but to her surprise, it was Martin who appeared.

“Hey, Marinette. I saw you walking, so I had my driver pull over.” He flicked his gaze between them. “Do you and your friend need a ride?”

“Ha! She and I will never be friends. I have much better taste,” Lila said.

Martin eyed Marinette, eyebrows knitting together when she shifted her weight.

“Then if you don’t mind, please leave her alone. She’s my friend,” he requested.

“You don’t want to be friends with a loser like her. I’m the great-granddaughter of world-famous piano player, Victor Laurent,” she said, fluffing her hair. Her sinister smile said that she’d taken all of Marinette’s friends once, and she’d do it again.

“Victor Laurent didn’t have any children. He died alone at the age of 72 from pneumonia…” Martin tilted his head to one side. “And anyway, Marinette’s great-uncle is a world-famous chef with his own brand of cookware—my mom loves his knives. Not to mention she knows Jagged Stone and is good friends with Adrien Agreste. She has a lot of connections.”

Marinette stifled a laugh as Lila gasped in offense. Martin blinked in confusion as Lila stalked off with a huff, glaring over her shoulder at them.

“Who was that girl?” he asked.

“One of the worst human beings you’ll ever meet,” Marinette replied. When Martin seemed confused, she added, “It’s a long story. I was actually on my way to get some ice cream. Wanna come?”

“Sure.”

Andre was in Marinette’s favorite spot in the Trocadero—a fitting compensation for the unpleasant encounter they’d just had. They found a bench, ice cream cones in hand, and Marinette flopped onto it with a sigh. Lila was insufferable, but Marinette wasn’t going to let it spoil her day. Clara liked her designs. Nothing else mattered.

“So, that’s the girl who turned all of your friends against you?” Martin asked, and Marinette nodded. “Wow. No wonder you changed schools. I would have changed cities.”

“I thought about it.” Marinette took a spoonful of ice cream. “She’s super manipulative, and if you side against her, she does everything in her power to ruin your life.”

“She sounds like Gabrielle just without the muscle, but at least we don’t have to put up with her now that her family’s bankrupt,” Martin said.

“Yeah…” Marinette lowered her gaze. “I bet you were really happy when you found out about Gabrielle.”

Martin shrugged. “I’m glad she doesn’t pick on everyone anymore, but I can’t imagine losing everything. I feel kinda bad for her… Is that weird?”

“I don’t think so,” Marinette said. “Actually, I feel the same way. No one deserves to go through that.” She pursed her lips, jabbing her ice cream with the spoon. “I’m surprised you of all people don’t hate her. She was the worst to you.”

“I try not to hate anyone,” Martin said around a bite. “I think everyone has good inside them deep down, and with the right influence, anyone can change if they want to.”

“So, you think Gabrielle could be a good person?” she asked.

“Well, sure. Why not?” Martin quirked a brow.

Marinette eyed him, a small smile curling on her lips. She sat up and turned to face him.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Uh, sure. What’s up?” he asked.

“It’s a long story, but Gabrielle and I are kind of friends now. I think…” Marinette admitted. “I haven’t told anyone because of everything, but I think you’re right. Anyone can be nice if they want to be, even Gabrielle.” When Martin seemed stunned, she curled her shoulders and added, “Do you hate me?”

Martin’s face softened, and he shook his head. “Of course not! I could never hate you.” He assured her. “I think it’s good. If anyone can help Gabrielle find the light inside of her, it’s you, Marinette.”

She leaned back on the bench with a smile, the spring sun warming her cheeks. Winter was over, leaving the cold and dreary behind. Nature was turning over new leaves. A fresh start, just like Marinette wanted. She took a deep breath, picturing all of the good things in her life. Adrien, Macy, Eliott, Martin, Gabrielle. Chloe, weirdly. Her parents, Tikki, Master Fu, Chat Noir, Clara. New opportunities. New beginnings.

She exhaled, letting all of the negative flow out with her breath. Lila had no power over her anymore, and after two months of running, Marinette was finally free.

♪♫♪ Cruel Summer ♪♫♪

Marinette hummed jovially, the heat from the tea kettle on the stove warming her arms. Her friends would be over soon to celebrate her presentation. After her run-in with Lila earlier, Martin dropped her off at home, where her dad made special macarons for their celebration. Talking to Martin eased her nerves, and Lila’s empty threats were far from her mind. Today she was celebrating.

It was the first time her new friends were coming to hang out at her house. After seeing all of their extravagant homes, Marinette might have felt self-conscious about her family’s tiny apartment, but her friends never gave her reason to worry. If only Adrien were joining them, but he was busy with a photoshoot. He promised to make it up to her, which had her head swimming with possibilities. Oh, she hoped whatever he had in mind involved kissing. Three almosts was driving her wild. Would she ever get to kiss those perfect lips?

And what were they now? Were they dating? Marinette didn’t know for sure, but they had to be pretty close, right? Adrien was so bold with her lately, complimenting her, touching her face, her hair, her hands… One of these days she’d snatch those lips down to hers if he didn’t kiss her soon. Kissing Adrien—the thought alone made her melt.

She wanted to hear his voice, but did she dare call him? He probably wouldn’t answer since he never brought his phone to photoshoots—always so professional. Then again, she could listen to his really cute voicemail… And she still hadn’t told him how her presentation went. Maybe she’d leave him a message. Girlfriends were allowed to do that, right? Oh god, Adrien’s girlfriend! She’d have to get used to calling herself that. Okay, no more stalling. New beginnings. Marinette wasn’t going to second-guess herself anymore. She was going to charge forward with confidence!

Pressing the call button, she chewed her lip with a giggle. This was really happening! One cute voicemail, then the next time they saw each other, she was going to kiss Adrien on the lips. Then they’d become boyfriend and girlfriend, date throughout the rest of collége and lycée, go off to university and get married, have 3 kids, and a hamster named-

Wait!

What was she going to say in the voicemail? She didn’t know how to be cute and flirty! Every time she tried, she ended up rambling about her toothbrush or falling down stairs. She needed to write a script. Abort! Abort!

“Missing me already?”

Marinette’s heart skipped at Adrien’s flirtatious lilt.

“Adrien! You answered,” she gasped.

“You called me, and you’re surprised I picked up?” he chuckled.

“Well, I thought you had a photoshoot, I was just going to leave a message,” Marinette said.

“I just got done with makeup, so I have a few minutes. I was actually thinking of calling you,” he said. “I’m sorry I can’t be there.”

“No worries. I understand.” She assured him.

“I take it your presentation went well?”

“Yeah! That’s what I was calling to tell you. Clara loved my designs! I’ve never been so happy.” Marinette paced the length of her living room, biting back a smile. “I ran into Lila as I was leaving, but not even she could ruin my mood.”

“Whoa, wait! You ran into Lila?” Adrien asked.

“Ugh, yeah, but it was fine. Martin swooped in before she got me too riled up. She even tried to lie him out of backing me up, but he totally called her out. I’ve never seen her pout so hard.” When Adrien remained quiet on the other end, she added, “I’m fine, really. I’m not going to let her bother me anymore. This thing with Clara could open up a lot of opportunities for me.”

“I guess you’re right. Lila only wishes she were half as talented as you. You’re amazing, Marinette,” Adrien said, bringing a familiar warmth to her cheeks. “They’re ready for me on set, so I have to go.”

Marinette tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to tell you the good news, and…talk for a minute.”

“You can interrupt me anytime. I’m always happy to hear your voice,” he said. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Marinette bit back a smile.

“Oh, and congratulations! You deserve it, Marinette.”

Marinette hung up with a dreamy sigh, hugging her phone to her chest. She was going to replay that conversation in her head for the rest of the evening. Before she could get lost in her lovestruck daydreams, the doorbell rang.

“Congratulations!” Macy hugged Marinette’s neck the moment she opened the door. “Oh, I knew she was going to love them!”

“Uh, I think you’re choking her.” Martin pointed out, and Macy let go.

“Sorry! But you did it! A major celebrity is going to wear your designs to an official awards show. That’s huge!” Macy squealed. “Oh! Is this your living room? It’s so cozy!”

As Macy pushed past Marinette into the apartment, Martin presented her with a bouquet of flowers.

“We picked these up for you on the way.”

“Thanks! That’s so sweet.” Marinette gestured him in, moving to find a vase in the kitchen. “Where’s Eliott?”

“He’ll be here soon. He was auditioning for another play today, so he’s running late,” Macy explained. “Your house is so cute! Did you make these pillows?”

“Uh, yeah. They were one of the first things I learned how to sew,” Marinette said, filling a vase in the sink. “My dad made macarons, and I’m making tea if you want any.”

Martin helped himself, taking a seat at the table, but Macy moved over to the bookcase to look at their family photos. Marinette set the vase in the middle of the table and grabbed the cups from the cupboard.

“Are you feeling better now?” Martin asked while she set the table. “I mean, after running into that girl earlier?”

“Yeah,” Marinette said, surprised by how much she meant it. “I’m not worried about her anymore. I’m fine.”

Martin relaxed. “Good. You seem happier now than when you first came to school,” he said. “I could tell how sad you were, even when you were smiling.”

Marinette grabbed the kettle from the stove and pursed her lips.

“I guess I’m not as good at hiding as I thought.” She laughed bitterly. “It’s been hard, but I’m really lucky to have people that support me. I have you all to thank for that.”

“That’s what friends are for, right?” Martin smiled, an expression Marinette returned.

“Right.”

“Marinette? Is this you?” Macy held up a baby picture. “You were so cute!”

Marinette’s cheeks burned, but before she could snatch the photo away from her, the front door flew open. Eliott burst in, hair disheveled and eyes wide with panic.

“Eliott? What’s-” Macy started.

“I need help!”

[c-is-for-circinate]

Ok, Hades gameplay reaction time!

(Because I have been terrible this quarantine year about posting thoughts about stories I've been invested in, and I'm really enjoying this game, and I'm playing basically blind and I have theories, and what is tumblr for if not recording those things to look back on later.)

I love this specific kind of fantasy/speculative fiction, that straddles the line between 'allegory clearly designed to explore a real-world issue' and 'the themes of this reflect real-world issues but also everything is times one million for drama and setting's sake'. I love it so much. Because, look, this is a story about a teenager/young adult trying to gather up the skills and resources and help he needs to escape his controlling, possessive, emotionally abusive father's house. That's it. Strip away all of the trappings, and that's what the story is about. By comparison, I think about Star Wars. (I love Star Wars too.) That's also a story about a dysfunctional fucked-up family dynamic. But that family is fucked up because dad went on a magic-corruption-induced killing spree, and his twin children were separated at birth to be raised in seclusion with the intention of someday taking him down, and look, that's cool, but it's definitely not how people actually are. All of the dysfunction in that family is an outgrowth of the fantastical setting, which means it is fantastical dysfunction. It can occasionally mirror or remind us of real-life interactions, but it's a fantasy. Which is great and fun to watch and very comforting and so on, but I don't necessarily want that in every story, and I love Hades because it is not that, at all. When you extend out the basic 'kid trying to escape his toxic home environment', Hades is the story of Zagreus trying to get out with the help of his dad's estranged, complicated, wealthy and powerful family, who are absolutely part of the reason why dad is Like That in the first place, and may not be any more reliable in the long run but who he needs right now. And his stepmom and teacher, who love him enough to help him leave, unconditionally and supportively (ask me how many feelings I have about 'look, Hades can't hurt me for helping you, don't worry about me, I am going to take care of you and that means helping you get out of this house' coming from an adult authority figure, ask me). And his dad's employees, who like him but also have to fear the old man's wrath, and walk that line in different places the best they can. And stepmom's long-estranged parent, because this is a story about families and how they split apart and come back together. And all of that is so real, so grounded in actual, concrete, this-is-how-humans-work family dynamics. But it's also individual. The story works so well because Hades isn't just a silhouette of the controlling asshole father; he is clearly The Way He Is for reasons, complicated ones, good and bad alike. The Way He Is has details, particularities, paperwork, a dog he pretends not to love and rely on. He is specific. Nyx and Achilles are specific, not just generic kind stepmom here to be a trope inversion and cardboard cutout teacher. Nyx has backstory and personality of her own, Achilles has a complex history, opinions, a missing lover, and they BOTH have very particular relationships with Hades that aren't just boilerplate script. Yes, there's abstraction there, you meet these characters in brief visual novel-esque three-line conversations over the course of dozens of escape runs, of course there's abstraction--but there's the very real sense that all of these people have nuance, have good and bad days, that they've made choices to be who they are, even if we don't know what those choices are yet. And, like Star Wars, some of the ways in which this story is so specific rely entirely on the fact of the otherworldly setting! I've seen stories that go the other way, that try to use their setting entirely as window dressing, and they end up feeling so flat I can't even remember them right now because they don't let the environment lend complexity and nuance to their characters at all. The environment these characters live in matters. The absolute control Hades exerts over his surroundings is a divine power. The fact that everyone Zag runs into, for or against him, is either immortal or immortally dead, changes how the react to

one another and to the situation at hand. The shape of his attempted escapes (gauntlet combat with a variety of legendary weapons) might be an allegorical construct of the genre, true, but it doesn't work in any sort of real-world setting where there exists the possibility of authority figures above or aside from Hades and his extended fucked-up family. That's part of why the family is so fucked-up in the first place. But these changes still fit well within the realm of, 'yeah, if you took this extremely real-life dynamic and added these factors to it, I can envision people doing this thing'. I can envision these specific people doing this thing. They add to the specificity of these characters. Letting them be influenced by their unreal surroundings makes them more real. So hell yes for good storytelling!!!!

I'm still relatively early in the game (by which I mean I'm like thirty runs in but only just got past Meg for the third time, because I am not good at this game, although in my defense it's only the seventh video game and second button-mashing game I have ever played in my life so there's that), but I'm starting to develop suspicions about Persephone. Because, look, outside of Persephone's absence from the underworld, this story knows its Greek mythology, uses it, revels in it. And there is some kind of mystery still shrouding Persephone leaving in the first place. She left a goodbye to Cerberus in her letter but not to her own son. Nyx has warned Zagreus multiple times not to let the Olympians know she's his mother. He literally never even knew she existed. That's complicated! Add to that, Persephone left--the exact thing we are trying and failing to do again and again and again. She left with one note, which means either she managed a one-shot speedrun out of the entire realm or she had some other way to leave, because if she'd washed up in the Styx pool to plod back to her room and try again, she wouldn't've needed to leave the note in the first place. And, you know, she's Persephone. Really quite famous for leaving the Underworld! Also quite famous for being forced back. So. I'm wondering if Zagreus, so conspicuously absent from her goodbye, has something to do with it after all. Six pomegranate seeds condemned Persephone to six months, half a year, half her life. I wonder if a child that's half of her her constitutes a fitting trade instead. Which, of course Hades would be even more resentful and dismissive and cruel to the kid he got in place of the wife he loved (who he chased away by being cold in the first place). Of course Persephone would have difficulty saying goodbye to her son in those circumstances. It would make sense. The tricky thing here is how the Olympians fit into it, because I also suspect the rift between Hades and Zeus sprang from Persephone's departure. And yet, if the Olympians never knew Zagreus existed, let alone that he's Persephone's son--how can he count as payment into the deal in their eyes? So in that case, what does Zeus think is the justification for Persephone leaving, after the pomegranate thing? Or are we just not doing the pomegranate thing at all? It would be a shame to lose it entirely, out of a story that really seems to enjoy the myths it's playing with. And there should be something complex here, something more than simply 'mom fucked off and left because dad sucked and now I'm following her because same'. It feels more complex than that. 'Mom and dad had a baby to try and save their marriage, it didn't work, but when mom left she had to leave me behind because otherwise dad would have gotten the cops and her extended family involved' feels more right, while still just as grounded in reality as the story has been so far.

I sort of want to write some meta about how each of the six legendary weapons corresponds to their original divine wielder, but I haven't unlocked all of their codex entries yet (look I am very bad with ranged weapons in this game ok, I am working on it), and I still need to think about the details. Aside from, of course, fuck yes of course Hestia's the one with the railgun. Leave drama and elegance and traditional weaponry to her brothers and sister (Demeter, who knows how to get her hands dirty, gets a pass). Hestia is out here to get shit done. With a grenade launcher.

[bluearson]

Double Trouble

Request: I see your requests are open and you write ✨ soft Dabi ✨ can we get a little smth for Dabi with an s/o who has a water quirk that sooths his burns to further soft dabi supremacy 🥺 (thank you for all the fantastic fluffiness you have blessed us with 💕) The day started off ordinary.  The sound of music filled your ears as you patrolled around your self-claimed “turf”. Life was easy, a little dull but the life of a vigilante with no loyalties was not always boring.  Then you saw him, hiding away in an alleyway. He was tall, beautiful even you might say. The scars that littered his body looked painful. You felt almost sorry for him, a quirk that his own body can’t handle.  You wanted to help him.

Feeling confident you strode up to him, “Sir?” You spoke out to him.  He was almost like a feral cat, he shifted his weight quickly onto his other foot and extended his left hand, blue flames appeared between his fingers. It was like a reflexive survival instinct. Your reflexes were faster than his though, you pulled the moisture out of the air and snuffed his flames out. He watched in disbelief as steam bloomed off his hand. “That’s an impressive quirk you got,” He croaked. “So, what are you? A pro hero?” There was an malicious edge laced into the words he spoke. “I wouldn’t want to rope myself in with such close-minded people.” You scoffed, “I’m better than that. I’m my own boss.” You crossed your arms over your chest as you eyed the flame-quirked stranger.  He only grunted in response as he looked you over. You felt like he was scrutinizing you under his eye. “If our paths cross again.. I think I’d prefer having your help.” He was gone before you could even say goodbye. Even though he hadn’t made the best first impression, neither did you. You weren’t sure how to feel about the next time you met him. At the very least you hoped that you wouldn’t be on the wrong side of his flames a second time. You shuddered at the thought.  You caught a glimpse of him walking down the street together with a girl much shorter than him, she rather cute. You wondered about what relationship they must have had. They seemed like good friends at the least. She was very animated and clung onto his arm as they walked together. Secretly you wished you could be her, clinging to his arm as you strolled through the city. That was another fantasy to write about in your journal. It wasn’t the first time you’ve been infatuated by someone but man.. you really wanted to be at his side. The universe seemed to have enough of punishing you when one day you heard a voice calling out to you, you looked over your shoulder as you took a long swig of water from your water bottle. You flashed the familiar figure a smile as it came fast approaching. “I missed you.” “I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long, sweetheart.” He teased. “I like what you have to offer. I think we could make a pretty good alliance.” The words sent your heart a fluttering. Alliance? He wanted to form an alliance with you? “I would like that..” You extended your hand to touch his forearm, looking up at him as though you were asking permission to touch him. Your fingertips grazed his skin softly. When he didn’t move away you allowed your hand to settle on his rough skin. “Does it ever hurt?” You asked as you examined where the stables met his skin. “Sometimes.” He answered quietly, as though he was sharing a secret with you. “Do you have somewhere we can discuss this privately? I hate being out in the open too long..” He rubbed the back of his neck as his eyes darted around. “Yeah I have a little hideout where I make deals.” You turned on your heels and made a beeline for the hideout before you could even see the look on his face. Once inside you fastened the series of locks that prevented squatters from breaking in when you weren’t around to protect your secret base.  You told your new partner all about your quirk, nearly professing that you held a flame for him once or twice as you tried to explain how useful you could be to him. You had experience teaming up with criminals before. Together you were a force to be reckoned with, especially since you could stay hidden as you supported Dabi from the shadows. You began to notice he’d start doing little things for you.  You even took note that his arm stopped sizzling as much after a fight, usually you tried your best to keep up with him but there was only so much you could do while trying to not seem like a shady person carrying around several gallons of water. Still you felt like your efforts were always appreciated, even if they weren’t up to the standards you wanted every time. You lived for the way he’d pat your head as steam rose off his arm. The way he’d smile at you even for a brief moment.  “I love you.” You said to him one day as he smoked his morning cigarette. You were enamored by him, utterly and totally captivated by everything he did. “I’m glad we’re apart of each other’s lives.” You quickly added.  The raven haired villain took a long drag before exhaling the smoke, you watched as some slipped through the staples in his face, it looked as though he was a dragon breathing fire. “I’m glad you’re around.” He tore his eyes away from yours and you felt a little deflated.  You wondered if there was ever a chance he’d see you as something more than just his “sidekick”. You wanted to ask him if he was single or not, about that girl you saw him hanging out with all those months ago. It never seemed like the right time, nor the right place. You didn’t want to ruin a good thing.  Things didn’t change between the two of you after your little outburst. You still couldn’t push your feelings aside for him, no matter how hard you tried. “Dabs, do you try to push me away because you don’t think I can be a good villain?” It had been on your mind for a while, the way he seemed to keep you at arms length even though you both shared a common goal. “You don’t need to protect me if that’s what you’re trying to do. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself and holding my own.” Your eyes searched his for an answer, for a glimmer of emotion under the tough guy act he held in public. You knew him long enough to see right through him. Every mask he wore. Every layer he tried to mask his true feelings behind.  You wanted to tear all those walls down for him, to hold him in your arms and play with his hair. To be vulnerable with each other and raise hell together. If he wanted to watch the world burn you’d gladly fan the flames of his ambitions and further his goals. You wanted to see him succeed in everything. For the world to know that there was nothing that could stop him with his partner in crime by his side.  He just stared back into your (E/C) eyes, a sad look washed over his face. He couldn’t just say you didn’t understand, you knew about his ideologies. You supported him with every fiber in your body. He cupped the side of your face, rubbing his thumb against your smooth skin.  For once he didn’t have a snarky comeback to bite back at you with.  You two just stood there, staring into each others having a silent conversation. It felt as though you two were trying to telepathically communicate with emotion what words couldn’t possibly convey. It lacked the power to truly grasp the full breath of the things you wanted to tell each other. Dabi pressed his forehead against yours, “I don’t ever want you to act recklessly because you’re following behind me. I never want you to get yourself hurt trying to keep up with me.” He paused, and brushed a lock of hair out of your face. “I know my own limits, and I know when I’m pushing myself too far. You don’t need to worry about me like I’m some.. fragile kid. I’m not made out of porcelain. I’m made out of flesh and bone, muscles.. and I’m a lot more sturdy than I might look.” You laughed lightheartedly, trying to lighten the mood. “I appreciate the fact that you’re looking out for me Dabi.. but I can only do so much if you keep me at arms length. I want to be your equal.”  “You always were.” “Then let me in. Open up to me. Talk to me for fucks sake.” “I think actions speak louder than words. Words get jumbled.. twisted.” He tore his eyes away from yours as he looked off into the distance. He seemed so far away and you let him have his moment to reflect. “You’re too valuable to me. You help the pain stop. I’ve gotten too used to it Y/N. You know you’re really cruel sometimes..” He toyed with a lock of your hair. “You’ve got me hooked on your special little treatment and now I can’t stand the thought of you no longer being apart of my life. You’ve made yourself essential to my personal comfort.” You pulled him into a hug, squeezing him gently as you listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. It took a moment before he wrapped his arms around you in kind, his body was warm. “How do you think I feel?” You chuckled as you shook your head, “I’ve always been fascinated by you Dabi, ever since the first day I met you. I’ve never been able to get you off my mind for even a single second to myself.”  “Damn..”  You felt a rough kiss being planted onto the of your head. “What did I ever do to deserve someone like you in my life?” He chuckled. “Don’t ever say I never loved you. You just weren’t looking close enough. Too caught up in your head to realize I’ve been saying it ever since I agreed to let you into my life.” You said nothing as you simply enjoyed his embrace. Drinking in his scent as you let his warmth envelop you whole. “Wherever you go, I’ll be close behind. Damn all the consequences. There’s no place in this world I’d rather be than with the man I cherish. I trust you with all of me, Dabi.” You planted a kiss on his cheek. “When you’re finally ready to entrust all of you, your baggage, scars, and whatever else you’re hiding away from. I’ll be there, to help ease your pain.” You took his hand and raised it to your lips, planting a firm kiss into his skin. Taglist: @some-kindofgnome @humanitiesstrongestchicken @hecatve @axerrri

[blazingfirepig113]

Love is a curse

(gojo x gender neutral reader)

“I know that you’re wrong for me

Gonna wish we never met

on the day I leave”

This is bad.

Gojo thought the moment he felt his heart flutter when he heard (y/n) let out a merry laugh at whatever one of the students spouted out.

This is so so so bad...what a cruel cruel thing.

Gojo glanced away from the sight, scared that if he looked any longer, his heart would explode.

How utterly pathetic.

How utterly pathetic how if (y/n) asks for anything, he’ll give them everything.

Absolutely everything he could give.

If Gojo could buy the world, he’d give it to them.

Why me? Shit, what a stroke of bad luck.

Gojo had cursed every moment his heart fluttered.

“Gojo-san, are you okay? You look like you need to shit.” (y/n) asked, placing a hand on Gojo’s shoulder.

Kind yet blunt. (y/n) was a different breed.

They were brave and strong, able to face situations that can have other’s shaking on the spot.

They were fun and creative, able to lift the mood with just a few words.

And the sharp tongue (y/n) was blessed with...or cursed, some may think, had them caught in terrible situations, sometimes ending with Gojo having to save them.

But everything about them, everything about (y/n), may it be their sharp tongue or the bell-like peals of laughter that accompanied them wherever they went, made Gojo’s heart flutter, constrict, as a flash of fondness, warmth, and softness filled him.

But he knew, from the start, that this fluttering on his heart, this feeling, was bad news.

“Ever so blunt, (y/n). Where’s the class?” Gojo pouted while (y/n) rolled their eyes at him.

“Shitting is normal, Gojo-san. You can’t tell me you don’t shit out all those diabetic sweets you eat.” (y/n) said, crossing their arms over their chest.

Gojo’s gaze lingered on them for a second, his eyes sparkling with an emotion not visible to anyone else because of his blindfold.

Why does it have to be me, (y/n)? Why do you have to be so damn attractive?

Gojo grabbed the reins for his thoughts before it went too far, hiding his clear displeasure with a mocking grin.

“I suppose you’re right. Gotta hand it to you, (y/n) for being so smart.” Gojo praised as he slung his long arm around (y/n)’s shoulder, ignoring the fluttering of his heart; ignoring whatever feelings he had.

Because it’s no good.

(y/n) narrowed their eyes at Gojo.

“Are you mocking me?” They asked flatly, not at all bothered by how close Gojo was.

Gojo felt relieved and hurt at that;

He felt relieved because it was only him who was affected by (y/n) while they remained indifferent...and hurt because of that same reason, because it was only him who was affected.

“Not at all, (y/n). You’re a keen individual, gifted with a talented mind and a sharp tongue…” Gojo trailed off, removing his arm from (y/n)’s shoulder.

He then proceeded to walk away from them, only to dramatically glance back at (y/n) when he was a good few feet away.

“Honestly, all I have is praises for you.” He said, sending them a grin before facing forward and waving for (y/n) to come and follow.

“Come on, let’s buy some dango and sweet tea.” He ushered, acting as if his heart was racing...acting as if (y/n) didn’t make him feel things.

It’s better this way.

If Gojo had glanced back at that moment, he would’ve seen the mask of indifference fall off (y/n)’s face. And he would’ve seen the light tint on their cheeks as a small fond smile painted their face.

“I don’t even like sweet tea, it tastes like water with sugar.”

And Gojo pushed the growing feelings in his chest as he let out a laugh that sounded more in pain than happy.

“I brought you down to your knees

Cause they say that misery loves company”

“If it’s hurting you so much, then just fucking tell them already.” Shoko said, rolling her eyes as she took a long drag from her lit cigar.

The stress Gojo was putting her plus the usual stress from work, had brought her back to smoking.

“I can’t...nor do I want to.” Gojo huffed like a hard headed child.

Shoko let out a sigh as she purposely blew smoke at Gojo’s face.

“If you’re not gonna do it, then stop bitching about it. Don’t drag me down on your little train of misery.” She said.

Shoko deeply cared for Gojo, she did. But he was destroying himself because of his feelings and she’d prefer it if he didn’t drop his emotional burden on her.

Saying what she wanted to say, Shoko had dropped her cigar before stomping on it.

“Face your feelings before they kill you.”

“It’s not your fault I ruin everything

And it’s not your fault I can’t be what you need”

Gojo had wanted to offer (y/n) a shoulder to cry on. He wishes he could.

But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t allow himself.

Because he was scared.

Scared that if he offered (y/n) his shoulder to cry on, he’d only fall deeper for them.

“Stop crying, (y/n). You’re fully aware that life as sorcerer’s is dangerous. We face death all the time.” Gojo said, arms crossed over his chest as a way to stop them from reaching out for (y/n).

(y/n) glanced up at Gojo, nose red and tear stains on their cheeks.

They let out a shaky pained laugh as they wiped their nose and cheek with the sleeve of their shirt.

“Shesh, no need to be so cold…” (y/n) choked out, throat dry.

It took all of Gojo not to engulf them in a warm hug, tell them that it’s okay...that he was there for them.

“Can’t you comfort me, Gojo-san?” (y/n)’s voice was small as they hugged their knees to their chest.

Gojo bit the inside of his cheeks to not cave in to (y/n)'s plea.

“No. I’m not going to give you the comfort that you want, (y/n). Grow up and face that this is the reality we live in.” He said, rather harshly.

(y/n)’s shoulders sag as they buried their face on their knees, letting out a broken laugh.

“How cruel of you, Gojo-san…” (y/n) murmured, their voice muffled.

Gojo gritted his jaw so hard, that he was worried he might break his teeth.

“Get used to it.”

This is the only way.

Gojo thought as he turned on his heel, walking away as (y/n)’s sob racked through the room.

He walked away with a heart too heavy for him to carry.

“Baby, angel’s like you can’t fly down here with me

I’m everything they said I would be”

“(y/n) had transferred to the Kyoto school...they were running low on staff and they had offered to go.” Shoko suddenly informed the snowy haired man one day.

Gojo hummed, acting indifferent despite the bleeding pain in his heart.

He already knew that.

After all, (y/n) had told him they were going.

“Gojo-san, I’ve been offered a position in the Kyoto school…” (y/n) had approached him one day.

Gojo fast steps faltered for a second, before they shifted into a lazy shuffle as his heart dropped to his feet.

“And? Why should I care? Why are you even informing me of this?” Gojo asked, voice emotionless.

He halted and glanced back to see (y/n) bow their head, a small smile on their face.

“I knew you’d ask that….” They murmured.

“I just wanted you to know....I wanted to hear your opinion on it….”

Gojo wanted to tell them to stay. Don’t go.

But he could not allow himself.

Instead, he ignored the sharp pain in his heart and waved dismissively at them.

“Do what you want. I’m not your dad or teacher.” Gojo said dismissively.

Dismissing (y/n). Dismissing his feelings.

Because, as he constantly reminded himself, this was the only way.

When Gojo had moved to walk away, (y/n) spoke up.

“I know I’m not anyone important to you…” They trailed off, biting their lower lip.

No, you’re the most important person to me…

Gojo bit his tongue to prevent himself from saying things that will only make his heart bleed more.

“But Gojo-san is someone very important to me…” (y/n) said as they placed a hand on their chest with a sad smile.

Gojo willed his face to not falter.

Don’t falter now.

“Everyone’s saying how Gojo-san’s so mean and arrogant...a prideful prick, they say….”

Gojo wanted to laugh, because it was true.

Hearing (y/n) practically calling him a prick made the pain in his chest lessen just a tiny bit.

“But I think you’re very kind.”

Gojo jolted in surprise.

“An arrogant piece of shit, yeah...you are one…” (y/n) said, chuckling a bit.

“But you’re a very kind arrogant piece of shit….that’s why I-”

“Don’t say it, (y/n). Don’t you dare say it...please.” Gojo said, quickly moving to clamp a hand on (y/n)’s lips, ignoring how his heart stuttered.

(y/n) roughly shrugged his hand away, holding his wrist.

“Why shouldn’t I say it? It’s the truth.” They said, eyes soft and gentle.

Gojo pulled away, stepping a few steps back, head hung low.

“Because I don’t want to hear it.” He said, voice cracking.

(y/n) took in a deep breath before sighing.

“Alright….but you already know what I was going to say…” (y/n) trailed off.

“Don’t worry, Gojo-san...I’ll be out of your hair immediately….”

“I’m sorry for wasting your time. I guess this is goodbye…”

Gojo didn’t dare raise his head. He didn’t-couldn’t.

Because if he did, he knew he’d ask (y/n) to stay….and (y/n) would. They would stay.

“Goodbye….Gojo Satoru-san.”

With that said, (y/n) was gone, leaving without a trace and taking Gojo’s injured heart with them.

“Why didn’t you ask them to stay?” Shoko asked, knowing that Gojo was hurt upon (y/n) departing.

“Because…” Gojo trailed off, no longer able to hold back the clogging and drying of his throat as his eyes stung with tears.

He never did get to finish his sentence because he had broken down after that.

Shoko had offered him some comfort, already knowing what he was going to say.

Because I can’t love them freely….because my love would be my weakness and I couldn’t bear the thought of putting (y/n) in harm's way...all because I’m in love.

Because if I were to love (y/n), I’d may as well have cursed them.

Because love is the most twisted curse of them all.

[pheeby-deeby]

Taylor Swift Lyrics That Make Me Feral

This is based on lyrics ONLY. Not song moments; that is a separate list.

“And you come away with a great little story. Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you.”

“So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time. As far as I’m concerned you’re just another picture to burn!”

“BURN BURN BURN BABY BURN”

"Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday but I realized some bigger dreams of mine."

"I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale, I'm gonna find someone someday whO MIGHT ACTUALLY TREAT ME WELL"

“LET ME REMIND YOU FOR A MINUTE WHY WE’RE NOT FINE!!” (Yes I know this is from ‘Let’s Go (Battle)’ and it’s technically unreleased but I had to include it. I really hope we get it in a speak now vault track).

Just. All of ATW 10 minute version. Every single line. I cannot and will not pick just part of it for this list.

"For the first time, what's past is..past."

"I know the bravest thing I ever did was..RUNNN"

"How can a person know everything at 18 but nothing at 22?"

"How did I go from growing up to breaking down?"

"She'll know the way and then she'll say she got the map from me. I'll say I'm happy for her then I'll cry myself to sleep"

(Okay maybe all of ‘Nothing New’)

Literally ALL of "I Bet You Think About Me." I fucking LOVE that song so so so much

"Now I'm Miss gonna be alright someday."

"GOODBYE Mr. PERFECTLY FINEEE! HOW'S YOUR HEART AFTER BREAKIN MINE!"

"I'VE BEEN MISS MISERY FOR THE LAST TIME, AND YOU'RE MR. PERFECTLY FINE!"

"Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream"

"The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color"

All of "New Romantics," but especially "BABY I COULD BUILD A CASTE OUT OF ALL THE BRICKS THEY THREW AT ME" and also "HEARTBREAK IS THE NATIONAL ANTHEM WE SING IT PROUDLY" and "The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true."

"So I PUNCHED A HOLE IN THE ROOF" and literally all of Clean

"And I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put 'em" (LITERALLY DON'T @ ME THE ENDGAME RAP IS GUN)

"IF A MAN TALKS SHIT THEN I OWE HIM NOTHIN"

"We can't make any promises now can we babe? But you can make me a drink." (Cue: ‘1, 2, 3, LETS GO BITCH!’)

All of Getaway Car

"I want your midnights but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day."

ALL of Dear John

"But you held your pride like you should've held me"

All of Last Kiss; but esp “NOW I WATCH YOUR LIFE IN PICTURES LIKE I USED TO WATCH YOU SLEEP”

“It isn’t love it isn’t hate it’s just indifference.”

All of ‘The Archer’

DBATC bridge

"in my defense i have none, for never leaving well enough alone"

“When you are young they assume you know nothing”

“Cause you weren’t mine to lose”

“And then it was bought by me…who knows if I never showed up what could’ve been?”

“You never gave a warning sign/I gave so many signs”

You cannot make me choose parts of ‘my tears ricochet’

“I’m still a believer but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural all I do is try try try.”

Second verse of ‘this is me trying’

The ‘illicit affairs’ bridge

All of ‘peace’

“Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in”

The champagne problems bridge

“and then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea cause it’ll never be”

ALL of ‘tis the damn season’

“Break free and leave us in ruins! Take this dagger in me and removed it! Gained the weight of you then lose it! Believe me I could do it!”

“No I didn’t mean that, sorry I can’t see facts through all of my fury. You haven’t met the new me yet.”

“I can’t make it go away by making you a villain”

“I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night now I get fake niceties. No one yea he’s you what to do when a good man hurts you, and you know you hurt him too.”

Okay just literally all of ‘happiness’ I can’t pick a few lines anymore I TRIED

ALL of ‘ivy’

Same with ‘cowboy like me’

“And he’s passing by rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky. And he feels like home, if the shoe fits walk in it everywhere you go.”

All of ‘right where you left me’

All of ‘it’s time to go’ but especially the 2nd verse.

[honeymoonjin]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 12k || ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut - rated 18+

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:

Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now!

Congratulations! You’ve been accepted as the Lady in the first season of The Gentlemen.

<- prev || masterlist || next ->

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: good god where to begin, loss of virginity : ) for real, big dick joon, cowgirl, unprotected sex, special appearance from namjoon’s sensitive neck o.o, premature ejaculation sorry bud, creampie, dom!joon still tho, sub!reader, sexting, dom!hoseok/master!hoseok, sub!jungkook, sub!reader agAIN, bondage and shibari, master/slave dynamics (sorry i have to spoil the prompt but want to properly TW this stuff, but the word slave is only used once out-of-scene), filmed sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, hoseok wearing the tear dior fit you are WELCOME, fingering, orgasm control/denial, oral (m receiving), anal (m receiving), a position i am told is called a lucky pierre/french sandwich, threesome in case you couldn’t guess, aftercare, guided masturbation, phone sex, pet-names, discipline/punishment

banner designer @jamaisjoons​ | thank you my darling SFHS babies ! i love you

DAY EIGHT

“Are you ready to make your decision?”

No. Of course the answer is no, but there’s no delaying it anymore. “Is it nine already?”

Sejin sighs, shuffling to the side of the table to indicate you’re to sit beside him. When you do, facing the boys on the couch, your heart gives another sickening lurch. Sejin squeezes your shoulder kindly. “Just a game, sweetheart,” he assures quietly, before raising his voice into the authorial tone he used for announcements. “Thank you for all being here on time, any on topic questions before we begin?”

Nobody answers, not even Jin. There’s a tense atmosphere, and you feel caught right in the centre of it.

“Okay, then,” he says softly, sensing the sullen atmosphere. “I’d like to give each of the Gentlemen a chance to explain why Y/n should keep them in the show. Let’s go around the room. Yoongi?”

To Sejin’s left, perched on the end of the three-person couch, is the doctor himself, legs crossed and face relaxed. “Um, Y/n should keep me in becau-”

“Say it to her,” Sejin guides, shuffling back to move out of the way.

Reflexively, Yoongi glances up at you, and the calm warmth of his eyes reassures you. “Y/n, I’d ask you to keep me in because we’ve had a good time together so far, but there’s so much that we have yet to explore. Beyond that, I’d like to think I’m a good fit for the house, and I’ll continue to assist Jin-hyung in cooking many meals.” Once he’s done, he sends you a small smile, eyes glinting playfully.

The younger boy sitting next to him is not as cheerful. Bottom lip red from gnawing, Jungkook tucks his feet up on the couch, resting his chin on his knees. His eyes meet yours after Sejin signals for him to begin. “I really hope you don’t vote me out because I like it here a lot. You’re so cool, and the hyungs are so cool, and I feel really happy here. I know we haven’t spent a whole lot of quality time yet, but I want to, if I stick around long enough.”

You bite down harshly on your tongue, sending him a strained smile. Fuck, this sucks. Beside Jungkook is Hoseok, who props his elbow on the arm of the couch, posture casual but face stricken.

“Y/n,” Hoseok begins, voice tentative and uncharacteristically subdued, “you’re a very intelligent girl and you have a lot of potential in being a sub. I’d appreciate the opportunity to stay in and show you and the audience how enjoyable BDSM can be. We’re all very lucky men to be on the show with you.”

On the couch beside, Namjoon is the next one around. He pauses, eyes dancing about the room as he thinks. “I think it probably doesn’t make much sense to keep me in the game,” he allows. “I’m not experienced like the others and so it’s a little hard to defend on that front, but I think me staying allows you the advantage of being my first and best experience. I feel like with just a bit more time, I’ll really grow into my element, and I feel safe doing it with you. So I really hope I stay.”

Squished beside him is Jin, who sends you a big grin, even if it doesn’t fully reach his eyes. “This is so shitty,” he says with a laugh, “it’s harder than I was prepared for before I came, and I think that’s due partly to the warm environment that we’re developing with each other, but also because you, Y/n, are a very genuine and lively person. Of course this is a game about sex, but I don’t think any one of us could say that’s the only factor here. As for me, I ask that you keep me in at least a week more because I can promise not only a good time, but also an ear if you need one, and advice should you ever want it.” He pauses to glance around the room. “That goes for all of you,” Jin adds, “I cannot believe that I don’t hate any of you, I don’t know how the producers found such great people.”

His words ease a bit of the tension, and the rest of you let out laughs of relief, your heart easing slightly.

Next, it’s down on the floor for Taehyung, who seems to prefer sitting cross-legged on the carpet to any other spot in the room. “I really wanna stay here,” he pleads with his eyes locked on yours, so earnest, “you’re so fantastic, and Jungkookie and the hyungs are all so fantastic, and I don’t wanna go home so soon. And also I think in terms of sex and stuff, I bring a lot to the table.” Taehyung avoids Sejin’s gaze, fiddling with the hem of his shirt innocently even as he stares up through his eyelashes at the rest of you cheekily. “I think we saw that yesterday. Though in the future, hopefully it’ll cost me less.” He sends a withering glare at Yoongi and Jin. “You assholes.”

You let out a chuckle, Jin huffing in response and Yoongi just shrugging with a shameless grin. Finally, it’s Jimin’s turn, and your chest pangs as you remember the last time you were together. The way he squeezed your hand gently before getting out of the car last night, the way he walked you to your bedroom door, wishing you sweet dreams. The way you saw an entirely different man to the one he’s been advertising.

His eyes on you are imploring even as his back is straight and legs crossed. “I value the time I spend with you. This is, after all, a game about sex so I’ll defend myself by saying you can rest assured I’m skilled enough to please you well, but if you allow me to stay,” he drops eye contact, fiddling with his rings even as he fights to remain poised, “I do hope it’s not the sex alone that keeps me here.” Like a switch is flicked, his momentary vulnerability vanishes, and he glances up and sends you a smile, warm and at-ease, having said his piece.

“And Y/n,” Sejin guides from beside you, his kind eyes on you, “anything to say to the guys?”

Your heart stutters in your chest. It’s been a week? Why is this so hard? “I- First of all, this decision has been insanely hard. You’re all amazing, not just in bed but as people, and I hope that whoever has to leave will still stay in touch. It feels really cruel that I have to say goodbye to someone so soon. The reality is, none of you did bad, and there’s nobody I don’t like; nobody that doesn’t belong here. I’ve made my decision, but- I don’t know. I’m not happy with it, but I don’t think I’d be happy with any decision. In the end, I guess I just went for the least painful option.” You take a deep breath, eyes lifting to look at Hoseok, who sends you a sad smile. You open your mouth-

“Wait!” Sejin interrupts loudly. Everyone turns to look at him in unison, eyes wide. “There-” He breaks off with a sigh, glancing at the camera closest to him before looking back down at the group. “Listen; this will be edited out, but ratings have been doing far better than we’d ever anticipated. We already hired a third editor to keep up with demand and get more episodes out than was on the schedule, and there’s talk we may even start getting sponsorships because the support has been creating headlines, at least on Twitter. The higher-ups at Bangasm, well… they want to make an exception.”

You furrow your brows. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll see,” Sejin answers. “Act surprised.” The eight of you stare at him with varying degrees of bewilderment as he puffs his chest and carries his voice louder, switching back into producer mode. “Wait!” he repeats in the same tone as earlier. “The production team hasn’t been completely honest with you. This isn’t just a basic game with prompts each week like we told you. There will be a special advantage, a wildcard if you wish, that changes things up. They could affect the prompts, or how the game proceeds for that week. We call them Bangasm Bombs. And while we didn’t tell you, our production team has drawn the Bangasm Bomb for Week One.”

Sejin pauses to look at you all meaningfully. Jimin picks up the hint. “So; what’s the ‘Bangasm Bomb’ for this week?” he asks for you, gesturing quote marks with his fingers. 

Your mind is starting to whir, possibilities beginning to percolate in your mind, but you aren’t prepared for what Sejin says next.

“Nobody goes home this week.” 

Your mouth drops open, eyes darting around the room to see the open disbelief on the guys’ faces. “So I- I don’t have to send anyone home today?”

“No,” Sejin answers warmly, and you feel your shoulders sag in relief, a breath rushing out you didn’t know you were holding. Sejin winces, clearing his throat lightly. “That’s… the other thing.”

“Other thing?” Yoongi asks incredulously. “There’s more?”

“With the success of the show comes other benefits. For example; the CEO and treasurer of Bangasm have agreed to double our funding if we can keep the views up. No, Seokjin,” Sejin quips the second the eldest contestant raises his hand. Jin puts his hand down, lips pursed in a pout. “We’re changing the rules a bit. Before, we said if Y/n eliminated you, you’d pack your bags and leave. Now; you stay.”

Sejin can’t get another word out over the clamour that arises, everyone shocked and excited and confused all at once. He waves his hand for silence, and only after a minute or so everyone calms down. 

“So, there’s just no eliminating?” Jungkook asks with a comically quizzical look on his face.

“Please just let me explain,” Sejin requests, sighing. “Yes, there will still be eliminations. But if you get eliminated, you stay in the house.”

“So it’s a free pass,” Jungkook surmises.

“Not quite. No longer will you not be competing in the game, but you won’t be able to have sex with or sexually touch Y/n in any way. If you do, then you’ll be sent out of the house for good.”

“No sex with Y/n?” Taehyung asks meaningfully. “So… otherwise…?”

Sejin sighs, a tired laugh falling from his lips. “Just no sex with Y/n,” he confirms. “If you touch Y/n sexually, you go home. If Y/n touches you, of course we can’t send her home, so we’ve devised a punishment.” 

At the word punishment your head darts up to stare at the producer, but Hoseok beats you to the punch. “She’s gonna come join us in the bunkroom?”

“That’s for failing prompts, Hobi-hyung,” Namjoon points out, “Y/n doesn’t have any prompts.”

“Correct,” Sejin confirms. “If Y/n touches an eliminated member in a sexual manner, then that member gets to choose what she wears for the next 24 hours.”

You frown. “That doesn’t sound so…” you trail off when you glance up, only to be met with seven hungry sets of eyes. You can just about see the cogs turning in their brains as they stare at your body. “Ah.”

“Yes. So stick to the rules, and you get, as Jungkook so elegantly put, a free pass minus Y/n. Got it?”

The eight of you stay silent, still shell-shocked from the two revelations. This changed things. Now, when you voted someone off, they would get to stay, but they would get to stay. You can see both the positive and negative possibilities there, and it’s no surprise that a reality show would have such a sneaky plot twist.

So you’d have all seven fucking you for one more week, and then all seven every week in the future, only with your sexual prospects dropping as you went. It does ensure that you’ll begin voting for them purely based on sexual performance; considering their personalities in the house wasn’t an issue if you’d have those anyway. 

As you glance around the room, you can’t help but wonder if your vote would’ve been different had you known that he’d get to stay. And you wonder if you’ll end up picking the same person in a week’s time, after a new set of prompts. The thought makes you sit up, turning to Sejin again.

“Will the boys draw their new prompts, then?” you ask. “Do I get to know the theme again?”

“Ah, of course-” Sejin breaks off to sit up, retrieving a stack of slightly crumpled papers from his back pocket. “This week’s theme is dynamics and roleplay. Come pick a card.”

Like last week, you pay close attention to the reactions of each of the seven. Namjoon blinks wide at his, but doesn’t seem as put off as last week, and his eyes go distant when he sits back down, like he’s already picturing it. Jimin takes two, one for him at one for Taehyung, and the two compare, Taehyung laughing at Jimin’s and Jimin smirking at Taehyung’s, brushing his clean-shaven cheek with the back of his knuckles and murmuring something in his ear. 

When Jin gets his, he bites his tongue and shakes his head with a light laugh, and Yoongi’s mouth drops open upon reading his card, eyes darkening with lust. Jungkook winces at first, but thinks on it a moment longer and grins eagerly, taking a second glance and scrunching his nose cutely at it. Hoseok takes his last, calmly reading it with a pleased smirk, sliding it into his front pocket and taking a seat.

Your breath leaves you in a slow stream. You’re back to the not-knowing. Dynamics and roleplay. It could really be anything, you supposed. Naughty schoolgirl, pizza delivery guy. You didn’t watch a lot of porn but you vaguely knew some of the tropes, and it’ll be a rather interesting week indeed.

“That’s not all, of course,” Sejin adds, and you feel like your brain could implode with the information dump that this morning has been. “Would you like to hear the Bangasm Bomb for Week 2?”

“We find out now?” Hoseok questions. “Not at the end?”

“Well, in order to fulfil it you need to know now,” the producer explains. “This week, Y/n may not sleep in her own bed, and she may not sleep in the same bed twice.”

You blink, not expecting it to be directed at you. “I what?” Your mind catches up with the rule, and you let out a light laugh. “So, I’ll have to share with the other guys?”

"Let's not forget the type of show we're on," Yoongi points out, leveling an impressed stare at the producer. "Well-played."

"Thank you," Sejin replies shortly. "Now, that'll be all. Just a reminder, if your scene isn't filmed, it doesn't count, and it's okay if Y/n guesses the prompt, but if you tell her directly then your prompt is void. Seokjin; we ordered you a set of chef's knives that should be here later today. Please stop spamming the company's inquiries email."

He's out of the room before Jin can even react, open-mouthed but smug like the cat that got the cream.

The eight of you sit in silence for a moment or two, still reeling. It's Hoseok in the end that recovers first.

"So we all stay," he muses. "Even if we get voted off, we stay. Why is that both a blessing and a curse?"

"This is reality TV," Jimin points out calmly, "and it's porn on top of it. Tension and drama skyrockets ratings. Well; I'm going to make some coffees if anyone wants one."

Most of the group move back into the kitchen, rifling through cabinets like zombies to make their breakfasts, but Namjoon approaches you hesitantly, biting on his lip.

"Y/n, can I talk to you? Privately?"

You stand up off the coffee table, though still you're lifting your chin to meet his gaze. "Sure," you reply easily, "privately or privately privately?"

"Um," he hesitates, glancing towards the entrance foyer, where across the hall lies the unfilmed rec room. "Just privately is fine for now."

Everyone else distracted with the prospect of food and hot coffee, it's easy enough to just sit on the stairs, side-by-side and thighs touching. Like this, you become aware of how much bigger he is than you. Namjoon's legs sprawl out down to the bottom of the stairs, socked feet slipping slightly on the glossy stone floor, whereas yours are tucked on the step below you. He glances down at you with a nervous disposition, but his eyes are surprisingly steady.

"Hoseok-hyung and I slept in the bunk bed room last night, as you probably know," he explains. "Him and I talked a lot. About a bunch of things, but he helped me realise something. And after I got the prompt today, I was sure."

Your eyes widen as they watch him carefully. The roots of his purple are starting to grow out in a soft brunette that makes him look even younger, his face round yet gently sculpted, chin pressed out in solemnity. "Sure of what?" you question quietly.

Namjoon takes a slow breath, rubbing his palms over his knees. "I think it's better if I don't lose my virginity while doing some cheesy role-play for a porn show, you know? I know I chose to come here knowing what I was walking into, but... Hoseok suggested maybe we could use the rec room for some privacy and then I could just fill my prompt later in the week. Of course, the producers will probably get annoyed at me not losing my virginity on camera, but they never said I had to, and I think I want it to be something just for me, you know? Something that's just you and me, outside of the show. I understand if you don't want to do that, but if you're happy to, I think I'm ready now."

You take a few moments to fully process his words, the gravity of them. "You sure you're ready? If you are, I'm happy to do that, Joonie. I want it to be good for you. You deserve that."

He smiles at that, broadly, but with his head ducked down. "That means a lot," he admits, "but yeah. I'm ready. If you want to...?" He trails off, tipping his head in the direction of the private rec room.

You sit up straight. "Oh! You mean- now now? Yes, I can do that, wow, okay-"

"If that's alright?" he asks hastily, face pinched with worry, but you just stand up, holding out a hand to him. He takes it, letting you lead him to the door.

From the few times you've needed to use this room, it's been pretty empty. It's small; most likely originally intended as extra storage or a home office, and the producers had put a visibly second-hand couch on one wall, a skinny coffee table and a lamp in there.

Generally, it's a glorified staffroom of sorts, a time-out that's more valuable for its lack of cameras than anything actually inside. Today, though, you freeze in the hallway at the sight that greets you.

With the table pushed to one side, boasting two bottles of water, a box of tissues, a bottle of self-heating lube and a small bluetooth speaker, the rest of the room has been converted into a massive bed.

The floor is covered with blankets, sheets and duvets, thick enough to be like a bedroll, with pillows stacked on the edges. They cover most of the floor, roughly the size of a queen size bed. On top of the impressive set-up are a colourful variety of packaged condoms, arranged in a tasteful love-heart.

Namjoon groans at the display, pinching his brow. "Hoseok said he'd set up for me and make it a little more comfortable, I'm sorry."

"It's cute," you say with a laugh, "are you wanting to use condoms?"

Namjoon swallows. "Uh, you- what would you prefer?"

You shrug, collecting them up and flicking through the buffet of options. You chuckle as the majority are L and XL. Unsurprising. "I mean, we don't need one. So if you want to feel everything fully, I say go bare."

"G-go bare, please," he coughs out awkwardly, shutting and locking the door behind him, double-checking the handle. "Can we put some music on? It's really quiet in here."

"Of course." You busy yourself with the music, smiling at the fact that he must have appreciated it last time. By the time you select a nice playlist on your phone and pick a decent volume, Namjoon's surprised you by hastily stripping down to his underwear, shyly rubbing at his knees.

You stand stock-still for a moment, just taking in the gorgeous sight of his body, all understated muscle and bold lines and planes. He must do some form of exercise, because his chest is thick, as are his thighs, and his lower stomach is soft but lean. He's gorgeous, and between your legs you feel your excitement grow.

Hustling to strip your clothes off as a gentle guitar strumming fills the air, you feel the cool cotton of the duvet under your knees as you straddle Namjoon, the man sucking in a breath as your clothed pussy presses flush against his hardness.

"Give me a kiss," you ask softly, a suggestion to let him take control, and a sigh of relief leaves his lungs as he cups your face in his hands, tugging your lips onto his greedily.

The ferocity with which he kisses you takes your breath away. It's powerful, greedy and demanding like he's waited an eon to kiss you again. While he was surprisingly skilful the first time, now it feels like he's come into his own.

You make a noise of surprise in the back of your throat as you feel his tongue slipping between your lips, licking up into your mouth like he's trying to devour you. You're drunk on it, mind feeling hazy, but you manage to pull away for a moment, gasping out a, "how the hell did you get this good?"

Grunting, Namjoon's eyes flutter open and one of his hands slips back to cup the nape of your neck securely, preventing you from backing up further. "Hoseok gave me some tips," he admits. "Now get back here."

You let yourself be pulled in again and eaten alive, muffled groans and sighs of bliss slipping out between swipes of tongue and flashes of teeth, nipping at your bottom lip until it's swollen and aching in the best way.

Without realising, you've begin to grind your hips against him, needing friction, and he pants into your mouth at the feeling. The pleasure makes him sloppy, and you groan as his lips leave yours, veering down to kiss along your jawline, tugging on your earlobe before sucking blossoms of colour down your throat. You tip your head back, arching into his mouth and rocking your hips against him, the friction addictive.

"Gonna fuck you now," you hear him groan against your collarbone, lips on your skin that's slick from his spit. Even in your heightened state of arousal you can sense the slight question in his voice, like he's checking you're still okay with it.

More than okay, you glance down to see the point that joins you, your panties so wet that the grey of his boxers is marred by a dark spot, wet and clinging to the stiff outline of his cock. You curse lowly at the sight of it. "Fuck, please, I need you, Joonie."

He lets out a strangled sigh, hands trembling slightly as he pushes down the waistband of his boxers so that it rests below his balls, cock bobbing up to rest at his stomach. He swallows hard, eyes closed and back resting against the base of the couch. The sheets beneath you have heated up with your body temperature, arousal radiating off the two of you in waves. 

When you first reach out to touch him, you keep your eyes on his face, on his reaction. The initial contact makes his brow twitch, eyes clenching shut. So thick your fingers don’t touch around him when you grasp his base, he’s definitely the biggest you’ve seen in the house; a touch of irony that the least experienced member had the biggest genetic advantage. His bottom lip finds his way tucked between his teeth, thighs tensing beneath you. 

“Joonie,” you mumble in a mock pout, “are you gonna fuck me now or so I have to do all the work myself?”

His eyes fly open, gaze landing on your widened eyes of innocence, before darting down to where you’re gently stroking him, fingertips catching on the sensitive ridge beneath his head. “Hobi-hyung said you should ride me so you can get used to it.”

You chuckle, tapping your thumb over his weeping slit, making him hiss. “Let’s stop thinking about what Hobi said and start worrying about what you want. Do you want me to ride you? Feel how tight I am for you?”

He curses, brows knitting as he nods shakily, and you can’t hold yourself back any longer. With a low curl of thrill in your stomach, you sit up so you can quickly slip off your panties, before straddling him again. He feels heavy when you brush his length through your sodden folds, readying him for you, and the thought makes you groan lowly. 

“Wanted you so bad,” you confess over the music in the background, now a simple drum beat that gives you rhythm as you grind your hips over him, letting his blunt head catch at your entrance. “Fuck.” His fingers are digging into your hips just with the feeling of your pussy clenching over his tip, and you lower yourself painfully slowly, adjusting to the way he stretches you to your limit, dragging inch by inch against your walls. 

“H-oh god, it is, it’s so tight,” he comments with a hitch in his voice, and again you feel the muscles of his thighs twitch, like he’s fighting the urge to bury himself in you. Though the thought of it is hot, you’re merciful that he’s giving you time to grow accustomed to the sheer girth of his dick inside you. 

“Does it feel good, Joonie?” you ask, the question panted as he takes your breath away, grinning at the quick stuttered nods he gives in reply, fingers flexing on the flesh of your hips and ass. By the time you’re sitting flush against his lap, you can barely breathe, a shaky hand pressing onto your stomach almost expecting to feel him bulging out of you from the inside. He’s not just the biggest on the show, but the biggest you’ve ever had, and you feel like you could cum just from rolling your hips against him. 

“You feel so amazing, Y/n,” he praises, arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you in close so that he can press his lips to yours. You whine as he shifts in you, feeling shakier than ever, but appreciate the chance to adjust to him, tongue chasing his and fingers slipping into his hair as you kiss. 

You’re content to stay like that for as long as he continues to move his mouth against you, mouth watering at the feeling of cockwarming him and joining your bodies so intimately, but the excitement of new sensation gets to him, and after a while he begins to shift, holding your hips down and grinding his hips.

Your jaw drops open, hands flying out to grip at his shoulders at the feeling. He’s so deep you can barely comprehend it, can barely think with his cock filling you so completely, and find yourself pleading quietly, an unintelligible babble of more, please more, need more. He shifts his posture as you sit on his length, uncrossing his legs and instead bracing them in front of him. 

“Want me to fuck you like this?” he asks, nipping at your throat, and you shiver at the husky gravel of his tone. What happened to the shy virgin? 

“Please, Joonie,” you gasp, clenching around him, “need you to move.”

His first thrust takes your breath away, punching the air out of your lungs. When he moves inside you it feels monumental, like a core piece of you shifting, and your eyes water with the delicious burn. You whine when he pauses for a moment, hands slipping down to knead at your ass. Namjoon’s eyes are like molten dark chocolate as they focus on you, rich and intense, and when your head tips down to kiss him again it’s so needy your teeth clash, the keening whimper in your throat sign enough that you want more. 

It’s only once he begins to fuck you in earnest, bouncing you on his cock, that you see how truly affected he is. Strands of lilac cling to his temples as he sweats, chest heaving and hands trembling even as his fingers dig in hungrily. His lips are slick with spit, but he makes no move to wipe them clean, just biting onto his bottom lip and sucking, hips snapping up with bruising momentum. 

You can’t catch your breath, but still you chase his lips like oxygen, needing to be as close as possible. His panting keeps you anchored as you moan shamelessly, toes curling and back arching. Your high approaches quickly enough that it shocks you, but there’s no escaping the pleasure that rushes through you with every snap of his hips. 

You lose contact with his mouth, cheek resting limply on his shoulder as he speeds up his pace, the muscles in your legs failing you, twitching uncontrollably. 

“No, no, no, fuck,” Namjoon chants lowly, and you feel a hand bury in your hair, holding you to the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry, I’m not gonna last.”

You moan at that, feeling him stiffen impossibly more inside you with every thrust. “Wan’ you to cum,” you promise in his ear, barely more than a gasped breath, “wanna cum with you.” To end the statement, you nuzzle your nose against his throat and nip at his pulse point. To your surprise, he shudders violently, suddenly going stock still.

Your eyes widen as hot ropes of cum fill you, Namjoon clutching you to him helplessly, groaning nonsense as his orgasm hits him out of nowhere. Your own high recedes, but you barely notice it as you sit up tiredly and clench around him, watching the pleasure flicker across his face as he rides the high. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, eyes cast towards the ceiling and chest still heaving, “I’m so sorry, I… sensitive neck.”

You grin, running your hands up to gently brush over it, feeling him pulse inside you, spurting the final drops of cum from his spent cock. “Don’t apologise,” you assure, leaning in quickly to nibble at his lips and give him a lazy, indulgent kiss. “That was really fucking hot.”

He laughs, cheeks pinkening slightly, and you feel your heart warm at the return of the shy Namjoon you’d gotten used to. So he’s a lot more dominant and confident in the heat of the moment, you muse as he catches his breath, good to know.

When you find your strength again, slowly sitting up off him, you wince at the rush of cum leaving you, and the uncomfortable feeling of emptiness. That’s only exacerbated by the fact that you haven’t cum yet, but it’s his first time and you don’t want him to feel bad. Collapsing on the sheets beside him, you rest your head on his shoulder, breath still coming in shallow pants. “Good?”

“Good god, Y/n,” he exclaims earnestly, “I think I might be a sex addict now.” 

A surprised peal of laughter leaves your lungs, and you shove him playfully before crawling over to the coffee table, cracking open a bottle of water and cleaning yourself up with the available tissues. “Hoseok really did think this through, huh?” you muse, chucking him the box once you’re done.

Namjoon clears up the cum on his cock and thighs, grimacing at the way some of it has stained his boxers, but he sends you a guilty look. “I’m sorry.”

You frown, reaching for your clothes. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t-”

Whatever Namjoon is about to say is cut off by a sudden thud that gives you both a fright, followed by three polite albeit enthusiastic knocks. You stare in bewilderment at the door, before hastily dressing yourself.

“Is everything alright?” Namjoon calls out, putting his underwear back on properly and hopping into his pants. “Has something happened?”

“I should hope so, young grasshopper!” an enthusiastic voice chirps from the other side of the door, muffled but unmistakably Hoseok. “You’ve popped your cherry, Kim Namjoon!”

The academic winces, reaching out to unlock the door once he’s made sure the two of you are dressed. “Hoseok, what are you doing? Wha-?” He breaks off once he opens the door, and you rush around behind him to see what gave him pause. 

In the foyer are Hoseok, Taehyung and Jin, all in matching paper birthday hats, the strings of thin elastic digging into their chins. Hoseok’s holding two more in his hands, and he thrusts them towards you as Taehyung wiggles the weighty bottle of champagne in his grasp. Behind them, Jin calmly holds a kitchen knife.

“What’s going on?” you ask in bewilderment, stepping out into the foyer and wincing at the ache between your legs with each step. “Why the fuck are you holding a knife?”

Jin, his bright blue party hat on at a jaunty angle, stares down at his hands blankly before gasping, tucking it behind his back. “Sometimes I forget I’m still holding it.”

“That’s extremely alarming,” Namjoon says with a frown. “I still don’t understand why you’re all gathered outside the door.”

“It’s time for the party, hyung,” Taehyung explains, “to celebrate you finally getting your dick wet.”

Your cheeks go flaming red as you glance at Namjoon, the poor man spluttering and eyes wide like he didn’t know what to do. “If there’s champagne, I’m there,” you announce calmly. “Come on, Joonie, let’s go celebrate.”

Namjoon visibly relaxes when you aren’t offended, flicking you a warm smile. “Is everyone wearing a hat?” he questions incredulously, taking the thin cone card. 

“Mo-mostly everyone,” Hoseok answers suspiciously. 

“It’s just you guys, isn’t it?”

“Well, if you both wore one, we’d have the majority.”

You grin, patting Hoseok on the shoulder as you walk past him into the foyer. “Let’s just go,” you call out to the guys behind you, “there better be food.”

As expected, the three that greeted you were the only ones wearing party hats. At the dining table, which has been laden with aromatic dishes, steaming rice and empty champagne flutes, the other three await. Jimin’s is resting beside his plate and chopsticks, untouched. Beside him, Yoongi has his upside down, using it as a bowl for the rice snacks he’s munching happily on. The youngest man in the house hasn’t even noticed you’ve arrived, using it like a very inefficient telescope, one eye scrunched shut and the other focused on the pinhole at the top of the cone. Sitting at the head of the table, he aims it at Jimin, mouth hanging open as he tries to see through the tiny gap.

Giving up, he waves the wide end around the room, desperate to catch a glimpse of something. Once the cone lands on the five of you, he gasps, chucking down the party hat. “You’re back! I didn’t start eating the cake, like you said!” 

Jin frowns. “That sounds awfully suspicious.” Knife still in hand, he makes his way to the kitchen island, where you catch a glimpse of a beautifully iced cake with writing on the top that you’re too far away to read. 

Jungkook shifts restlessly in his seat, staring worriedly at Jin. “The- um, the birds attacked it.” If you look closely, you think you can see the slightest hint of vanilla icing in the crook of his mouth. 

Jin stares at the cake desolately. “The birds?” he deadpans.

“Seagulls, you know,” Jungkook tries to pass off casually, the pink of his tongue dashing out to lick the sugar off his lips. “Absolute vultures.”

Hoseok tsks in disappointment. “Was it seagulls or was it vultures?”

Jungkook stays silent an inexplicably long amount of time, glancing slowly between Hoseok and Jin. His eyes are wide like he’s trying to work out the lie in his head “...It was me.” 

Jin’s fingers are pressed to his temple as he sighs. “Right.” Setting down the knife, he picks up the cake and brings it to the table, placing it in the middle of the table. The rest of you all take a seat, filling in the spaces around the table. Taehyung slips in beside Jimin, Hoseok at the end of the table opposite Jungkook, and finally Jin, Namjoon, and you take the last of the seats. 

The cake is beautiful, neat and fluffy buttercream all over with swooping cursive written in a thin black stream. Unfortunately, a very delicate but obvious slice has been taken out so you have to focus to work out what the writing says. Once you do, you let out a reluctant chuckle, watching Namjoon blush once more, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his shirt shyly.

“‘Here lies Namjoon’s virginity,’” you recite, “‘1994-2020.’ Who came up with that?”

“That’s not impor-” Jin begins, but Taehyung swiftly cuts him off.

“I did!” he declares proudly. “Everyone agreed mine was funnier than Jin-hyung’s.”

“Obviously not everyone,” Jin replies bitterly, dishing himself up some of the rice closest to him. “Dig in, everyone, Yoongi and I worked hard on this. And congratulations Namjoon,” he adds, though he sends Namjoon a genuine smile, eyes twinkling. 

After everyone says their congratulations, the food is dug into and the cork of the bottle is popped, conversation flowing like the champagne. 

Over time, Namjoon seems to get used to the chatter about sex, perhaps not feeling so left out of the loop, and his face is more open and relaxed than ever, a dimple poking out when he smiles. You occasionally reach out to shove him playfully or squeeze his arm as the chatter continues, and he no longer freezes or stiffens up. It warms your heart that he feels a little more comfortable amongst you.

You’re happy to tuck into your meal, having worked up an appetite for lunch, but it’s barely more than a second after finishing your first helping that your phone buzzes. 

You slip it out casually, frowning when you see it’s a notification that you’ve been added to a group-chat. 

After that, you smother a scoff and slip your phone back into your pocket, hoping if your cheeks are red they can safely be attributed to the alcohol.

Glancing up, you see Jungkook stand up suddenly, eyes wide with barely-contained excitement as he picks up his bowl, chopsticks and champagne flute, scurrying over to dump them in the sink before disappearing upstairs. Yoongi stares at his empty seat in confusion, but shrugs and takes another mouthful of cake. You eat yours quickly enough that your stomach flips, or perhaps that’s just the anticipation.

After you’re done it takes you a few moments to build up the courage to look across to Hoseok, feeling his gaze hot on your skin. When you do, your eyes lock immediately, but he just continues to stare, lips pressed in a narrow line. 

Your heart leaps for a moment, wondering what that hard gaze means for you later on. Silently, as Taehyung continues to explain something to him with a mouth half-full of food, Hoseok lifts his eyebrow once, gaze darting to the roof. The message is clear. Go upstairs.

Biting your lip, you let Namjoon know you’re heading up, waving off his concern until he’s pulled back into a thread of conversation. You try to ignore the uncertain adrenaline rush that makes your hands tremble and your core throb all the way upstairs, until you’re knocking on Jungkook’s door.

The two of you share a look once he opens the door, one of anticipation and desire, and you let out a breathy chuckle. 

“What the fuck have we gotten ourselves into?” you ask rhetorically, stepping in and collapsing onto the bed. 

“I’ll take it if it means getting a good fuck,” he states matter-of-factly, sitting himself beside you and tucking his legs up. “Besides; I’ve wanted to see Hobi-hyung in action for a while.” 

Sitting up, you think back to that day in the confessional booth, where he had so easily made you fall apart without even taking a single item of clothing off. You wondered if he’d deprive you of his body tonight as well. 

“I think he’s angry at me,” you admit, “before I left, he looked… intense.” 

“Why would he be angry at you?” Jungkook asks with a frown, his hand slipping under the baggy fabric of his black tee, rubbing at his shoulder like he’s aching to take the item off. 

You go to shrug, but then your mind flicks back to this morning. “The elimination,” you realise, dread rising in your stomach just as much as your arousal is. “I think he knows I was going to eliminate him.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen, round enough to be saucers. “Wait, really? Why him?”

You find the words dry up in your throat. “I- God, I don’t know. How am I meant to choose anyone when you’re all amazing? Maybe his had the least impact on me, I suppose.” You eye the door to the walkway warily. “I guess he’s determined to change that now.” 

Instead of replying, you’re taken aback when Jungkook throws his arms around you in a tight hug, his long hair brushing at your neck and shoulder as he tucks his chin into the hollow of your collarbone. Hesitantly, you bring your own arms up to hug him back, feeling your tension melt in the warm embrace.

“It must be so hard,” he murmurs, “I don’t think Hobi-hyung is really mad, you know? He probably just feels like he wasn’t good enough for you and wants to prove himself.” 

This thought just sends another spike of guilt through you, but you have no time to dwell on it before the door is clicking open, making you and Jungkook instinctively jump apart. 

Hoseok stands there, as intimidating as last time in all-black. Though he’s wearing just socks instead of the heavy duty boots he was in that day, there’s no denying the power he holds in the clothes he wears like armour. Leather pants so snug they’re like a second skin and a black long-sleeved shirt, tight but breathable cotton with a harness of thin leather straps providing some structure. His raven hair is swept back, but just a single stray lock hangs low over his brow, drawing your eyes back to his. “Starting without me?” he questions lightly, though his face is devoid of humour.

You swallow hard. “No… Master,” you add, seeing the expectant look on his face. Once he steps further into the room, you notice the black bag that was previously hidden behind his back. The duffel bag from last time. You suck in a breath and clench your thighs before you can even think to stop yourself, and Hoseok’s positively gleam at the sound. 

“Both of you have been very naughty today,” he explains, dumping the bag on the bed beside Jungkook, beginning to casually pull a heap of bright red nylon rope out. “Little Jungkookie ate the cake that Jin-hyung worked so hard on, even when he was specifically asked not to. And Y/n… Y/n knows exactly what she did.” Your eyes widen when Hoseok sets the multiple lengths of rope to one side in a neat folded coil and reaches back into the bag to produce a pair of wide, heavy-duty shears.

“Woah, hyung,” Jungkook exclaims in alarm, “I can apologise for the cake, I-”

“Settle, Jungkook, it’s okay,” Hoseok explains softly. “I told you we’re gonna be tying you up, yeah? This is so that we can cut the ropes quickly in case you want out. They aren’t part of the scene.”

You feel a thrill run through your veins at the gentle click of metal resting on the nightstand once Hoseok sets the scissors down. He hadn’t needed them for when your arms were tied. It meant that whatever you were going to do tonight would be more intense. The thought of everyone else downstairs having a good time and hanging out while you and Jungkook were up here getting bound by Hoseok… it somehow feels even more illicit and dirty. 

“Let’s do Jungkookie first, hm?” the dom proposes. “I’ve been wanting to see what you’d look like all prettied up for me. Choose red just for you.” 

Jungkook positively preens at the compliment, hands tucking into his lap and chest puffing out. “I’m excited, Master!”

Hoseok gestures for Jungkook to remove his clothes with a flat expression. “Don’t be,” he retorts calmly, “this isn’t a reward, it’s discipline. We’re going to learn a lesson about behaving.”

The camboy trembles, hastily shucking off his baggy shirt and pushing his sweatpants down, naked except for a pair of white socks. Your breath is taken away by how easily he bares himself to the cameras and to the two of you, eyes eager and nervous as Hoseok picks up one of the longer lengths of rope.

“I want you to kneel, Jungkookie,” Hoseok instructs, “kneel on the bed for me, arms at your sides.” 

Jungkook obeys, breath hitching as Hoseok approaches, passing the coil over his palm. You watch with baited breath as a bright red strand of rope is run around his narrow waist. As the professional dom begins looping, knotting and wrapping the rope around Jungkook’s torso, the boy’s eyes grow lidded, cock twitching as it rests back against his lower abdomen. 

It takes a while, but time is as smooth as velvet in the soft silence of the room, just gentle breaths and the whir of nylon rope sliding so beautifully along Jungkook’s skin. 

By the time Hoseok is done, Jungkook’s eyes barely open, so content with the feeling of being patiently wrapped up, and he hums lightly as Hoseok rechecks the tightness of each loop, slipping two fingers between rope and skin in several places. 

Rather than bondage or restraint, this looks like art. An elaborate harness of red contrasts beautifully against the pale golden flesh below, hardness of his chest and abs softened by the vaguely fishnet pattern, loops that interlock and curve across his body gracefully, the most careful and precise lattice of scarlet ropes.

“Pretty, isn’t he?” Hoseok questions, and a finger comes down to run through the glossy precum that has been smeared onto Jungkook’s lower stomach. The boy hisses, arching his hips up in search of contact, but all it takes is a sharp swat at the head of his cock and Jungkook is whining, thighs flexing with the force of keeping still. “Patience, my little prince,” Hoseok tuts, patting Jungkook’s cheek with a hand still wet with the camboy’s own precum, “we’re gonna teach you how to be patient today.”

Jungkook groans low in his throat, lips parting at the term of endearment, and Hoseok grins at it, tiger-like. 

“Oh, do you like that, hm? Wanna be my special prince today?” Hoseok runs his fingers through Jungkook’s long hair, the camboy sucking in a sharp breath when they snag on some knots. Jungkook nods, eyes round and glittering as he looks up at his Master. Hoseok pouts, tapping him once on the end of his button nose. “It’s a shame you weren’t behaving today, then wasn’t it? Maybe if you’re good for me tonight, you can earn it.”

Jungkook’s brows lift pleadingly, looking so small under Hoseok’s harsh stare. “I’ll be good, though, Master.”

“Mm, I’m sure you will,” Hoseok confirms, swiping a thumb over Jungkook’s nipple to make him shiver, before he fixes an iron gaze onto you.

You swallow, slipping out of your clothes as quickly as you can once he gives the same gesture as before, crossing your legs and arms to try and preserve some dignity. Hoseok just tuts, picking up two of the remaining sections of nylon rope, only one still left waiting on the bed. 

“Hands at your sides, kneeling,” he instructs sharply, and you feel the way your walls clench at the authority in his voice as you hustle to get into position. 

The harness he puts you in is different to Jungkook’s, accentuating your breasts with bands both above and below them, leaving your stomach free but doubling the rope over so that every loop that wraps around you is twice as thick. The final tie is slipped up between your breasts, around the back of your neck and tucking back down to hold it all together, and your breath shallows at the secure feeling of the rope. 

It’s peaceful; the warm stripes of friction as he pulls strands through loops, the gentle flicking of the ends against your skin until he folds them away, the way it embraces your chest so snugly, but not too tight. It’s only once he’s done checking the rope like he did with Jungkook that he picks up the second, shorter length of nylon, and by then you already feel the sleepy yet electric haze of subspace seeping throughout your body.

“Hands,” he instructs, and you hold them out for him, watching with heightened arousal as he binds them, the rope wrapping around and between your wrists until they’re locked together. Last time your hands were bound behind your back but like this, you can watch him as he works.

It’s quick - a testament to his expertise - but you spend every moment with your eyes locked onto him. The eyes, gleaming with control and satisfaction, the pink tip of his tongue poking out just slightly as he focuses. His thin fingers, looping and wrapping and knotting with such skill. 

His last move, eyes darting up and smirking once he catches you watching him, is to connect the thick cuff-like ropes to the top of your harness, pinning them up to your chest, folded hands resting at the base of your throat. You instinctively tug once he’s done, only to feel the rope around your back tighten and dig in, but no distance made. The feeling of being at his mercy only adds to the slick gathering between your thighs. 

Once he steps back, eying the two of you up, your breath catches in your throat. Both you and Jungkook are fully naked, somehow feeling even more vulnerable in the rope, and Hoseok stands across from the bed in all his black leather glory, eyes raking over you like he’s assessing his work. 

“Are you gonna touch us, Master?” Jungkook questions in a small voice, fingers clutching at his own thighs, cock flushed and needy between them. 

“Not you yet, Jungkookie. Gotta warm Y/n up first.” Your eyes widen - for what? - but Hoseok is moving closer run a hand down Jungkook’s back, fingers jumping over the strands of rope. “Do you wanna help me, baby?”

Jungkook nods, blushing when Hoseok pinches lightly at his cheek. 

Hoseok leans over to you, carding his fingers into your hair and curling them in so that he can hold you steady. Like this, kneeling on the bed, you have to tilt your head back to meet his gaze, but he just tuts, holding you face-forward to Jungkook. “You wanna give her a kiss, Kookie?”

You swallow, fingers interlocking together as you look over to the camboy. He looks so needy, blissed out and pretty in his red rope, cock untouched and weeping. Your lips part automatically, tongue darting out to wet your lips and you don’t miss the way Jungkook’s eyes are drawn to it, lids now as he nods. 

With your hands pinned to your chest and kneeling, you don’t feel able to meet him halfway so you just wait as Jungkook crawls to you, glancing up at Hoseok for permission before burying your hands in your hair alongside the dom’s. With barely a second to suck in a breath, Jungkook ducks his head, his lips descending onto yours with sweet, unrestrained need. 

Unable to touch him back, you let your eyes slip shut with the soft presses of his mouth, taking everything he gives you. Everything about Jungkook in this moment is soft; his lips, his thumbs brushing across your cheekbones, even the subtle scent of vanilla as his hair tickles your face - but the stiff grip in your hair is anything but, reminding you where exactly you are and the hand you’re under.

Your breath hitches as two things happen at once; Jungkook’s tongue presses into your mouth, deepening the kiss, and behind you Hoseok shifts, getting up on the bed behind you. Though you can’t see him, you become even more aware of his commanding presence, through the simple gesture of a fingertip, tracing beside lines of rope with a touch so light you shiver.

“You both look so pretty for me,” Hoseok murmurs warmly, his voice closer than you’d expected him to be, sounding like it’s right beside your air. Jungkook doubles his efforts in response, and your core is alight with excitement when you instinctively go to touch him, only to be reminded of the restraint you’re in. 

Jungkook kisses without abandon, not hurried but deep and purposeful. Though you still tremble under Hoseok’s teasing touch, your mind is so enraptured by Jungkook’s tongue in your mouth and teeth on your lips that you lose track of it. 

The camboy doesn’t dare venture his hands further than your face, cupping it so tenderly as he delves into you, so your eyes fly open with shock when two fingers are suddenly slipping through your folds, running over your clit for a single delicious moment of pleasure. You moan in shock and pull away to look down.

Between your kneeling legs is the slender but calloused hand of your Master himself, wrapped around your front and slipping inside you without question like you’re his. His to explore, his to ruin. You pant at the intrusion of two fingers, clenching around him, but his only response is to tug suddenly at your hair, pulling your gaze back up again.

Nipping sharply at the bridge of your ear, Hoseok scolds you. “I didn’t tell you to stop,” he growls harshly, “did I?”

“Sorry, Master,” you reply without thinking, barely a moment before you let out a muffled squeak from Jungkook joining you together again, wasting no time to obey. 

Hoseok doesn’t stop his motions between your legs; on the contrary, he continues without pause, fingers moving inside you with a steady urgency. 

For a while, your brows furrow, hips rocking below him. He keeps missing your g-spot, fingers too straight to press against it on each thrust, and he moves to three fingers without touching your clit at all, hand held foward off of you to avoid friction. You moan brokenly into Jungkook’s mouth as you realise Hoseok’s doing it intentionally, stretching you out almost clinically, without regard or want for your pleasure. You go weak at the thought, sinking forward into Jungkook’s embrace, but soon enough the fingers are removed from you completely. Empty and unsatisfied just like earlier, you huff and begin to kiss the camboy more frantically, desperate for some pleasure to replace it. 

But Hoseok clearly isn’t having it. “Stop,” he commands shortly, “hands off.”

Jungkook sits back quickly, making sure you won’t slump over before he presses his hands to his thighs again, cock twitching at the continued neglect. Blinking, he licks his swollen lips and glances behind you to Hoseok in confusion. “Master?”

Your mouth goes dry when you hear the unmistakable sound of a zip being lowered. Hoseok’s hand leaves your hair suddenly, and you feel unmoored between the two men, just you and your hands tucked under your chin. “You tasted her pretty little pussy in Week One, didn’t you, Jungkookie? Would you like her to return the favour?”

Eyes wide, you drop your gaze down to Jungkook’s aching dick, as it twitches and leaks another thin trail of precum, the boy groaning. “Please, Master.” His fingers flex, holding back from touching it. “‘Hurts,” he whines.

You bite your lip, mouth watering. He’s not as big as Namjoon, but you know how fully he filled you just yesterday, and to have him in your mouth… “Please,” you croak out, fingers wiggling in the air as you’re unable to lower yourself to him. 

“Good girl,” Hoseok praises, hands strong on your shoulders as he helps you down, elbows propping yourself up awkwardly in the space that Jungkook’s shuffled back from. “Gotta warm Kookie up too, don’t we? Open up, princess.”

Like this, you’re able to keep upright, but barely, craning your neck to look up at Jungkook. His cock is in front of you, and this close you can see just how flushed it is, the tip almost perfect. Hoping your pleading gaze can communicate your desperation, you open your mouth, letting your tongue rest just over your bottom lip.

Jungkook’s brows furrow in wanton need as he glances towards Hoseok. “Can I touch her, Master? Help her?”

“Of course,” Hoseok’s voice allows from behind you, palms running over the flesh of your ass, “but my little prince better not cum.”

Jungkook visibly shivers at the nickname, hips jerking uselessly. “Y-yes, Master,” he allows, before tipping your chin up so gently, gripping himself to guide his length into your waiting mouth. 

You moan the moment your lips wrap around his tip, the tang of his precum bursting on your tongue as you flick it over the slit, making Jungkook thrust up again, enough that his cock reaches the back of your mouth. You’re barely able to avoid gagging, but you inhale harshly through your nose, blinking up at him as he brushes your hair back with a shaky apology. 

Knowing he can’t orgasm, Jungkook seems happy enough to lazily roll his hips, just enjoying the wet warmth around him as you follow his rhythm, enjoying the slight ache of your jaw around his girth. Hoseok gives you only a few moments to reach this equilibrium before you feel his cock lining up against you. 

Eyes widening, you’re given no time to prepare as he slides inside you, slowly but without pause, making your back arch with the intrusion.

You moan, muffled, as Hoseok pulls out and begins to pick up a steady pace, once again sliding right past your g-spot, not fast enough to make your toes curl and not deep enough to make your eyes roll. There’s no denying he’s doing it on purpose, and the thought that he might not let you cum at all has you whining desperately around Jungkook’s cock, loud enough that Hoseok hears.

To your disappointment, he tsks and pulls out, tugging at your hair to pull you off Jungkook. “What the fuck?” you complain bitterly, sucking off the drool that’s accumulated in the corners of your mouth. Equally deprived, Jungkook makes a noise of confusion, but before he can speak up, a commanding voice calls out to you.

“That’s it, on your back,” Hoseok orders, making you jump as he smacks the flesh of your ass. “If you’re gonna be ungrateful you won’t get anything at all.”

You pout, craning your neck to look back at him. “Hobi,” you whine, hoping to appeal to that soft inner that got you what you wanted the last time you were scening with him, but it doesn’t work. 

Impatient, his hands find your hips, flipping you around unceremoniously. Your breath is punched out of you as you’re suddenly landing on your back, and you whimper as he hooks a finger in your harness over the top of your breast, using it to tug you higher up the bed so that him and Jungkook are on either side of your waist. 

“You’ve been far better behaved,” Hoseok directs at Jungkook casually, reaching into the duffle bag to pull out a square foil packet, “so you’ll get my cock instead.”

Jungkook bites his lip harshly, shuffling on his knees as Hoseok rolls a condom on. “Thank you, Master,” he replies politely, eyes lidded and needy. 

“What a good boy,” Hoseok coos, reaching over to brush a fond hand over Jungkook’s cheek. “Do you wanna fuck Y/n too, my little prince?” You let out a low groan at the prospect, at the way Hoseok speaks for you like you’re a toy of his. The thought is more erotic than you’d expect, and your legs part unconsciously.

Jungkook whimpers at the sight, dark hair curling at his temples with perspiration. “Please, Master.”

“Go on, then, baby.” Hoseok gestures for him to straddle you, and you whimper as Jungkook’s form blocks the light from the ceiling, framing him in a silhouette of dark hair. 

Your legs part further as he settles between them, cock brushing between your folds lightly until he puts a hand down to line himself up. With one arm bracing himself, Jungkook slowly drives his cock deep inside you, small rocking motions to get you accustomed to him as he bottoms out. The two of you groan in unison, the feeling of being full again like bliss.

Before Jungkook can set a pace, you hear Hoseok’s voice again behind him. “There’s only one thing,” the dom adds in an apologetic tone, “Y/n hasn’t earned an orgasm yet, not like my sweet prince has. If you want to fuck her, Jungkookie, she better not cum.”

You let out a frustrated moan, heel kicking into the mattress. “Fuck,” you whine, hips already rocking against Jungkook’s length inside of you, “are you serious?”

Calmly, Hoseok clicks open a bottle of what must be lube, and you feel Jungkook go lax above you, holding his weight off of your torso but dropping his head onto the bed beside yours, groaning lowly. “Of course I’m serious,” he explains simply as he preps Jungkook with his fingers, “I’m doing you a favour, Y/n. This way you won’t make the same mistake twice.”

You sob, feeling Jungkook twitch inside you from the pleasure he’s receiving from Hoseok. As the dom finally deems Jungkook ready and lines himself up, you realise why Hoseok was so popular at his job. Handling two subs, let alone one who was getting punished and one who was now getting rewarded, was a tough balance, and yet he does it with such cool and professional ease. 

Jungkook curses, rocking his hips with stuttered gasps, and you feel the impact of Hoseok’s hips through Jungkook’s body as he thrusts the first time, the camboy hurriedly throwing his other arm up on the other side of your head to prop himself up with more stability. You can feel the rhythm as he gets fucked, and the way his chest heaves, breaths panting over your bare shoulder. 

With your hands tied to your chest and lain on your back, you quickly realise there is nothing you can do to chase any pleasure for yourself, and you let out another low sob. You won’t be making the same mistake twice indeed, you muse as Jungkook barely shifts inside you. He feels so good, but it’s just not enough for you to get anywhere close to your own high. The lesson has most certainly been learned; if you want pleasure, you play by Hoseok’s rules.

“Please, Master,” you pipe up desperately, looking past Jungkook’s shoulder to the dom’s face, calm even as his hips rock with the graceful fluidity of a dancer, every stroke making Jungkook cry out. “I’ll do anything, Master, I’m sorry for being bad, just please let me come!”

A grin spreads across his face, satisfied, even as he grunts from exertion, Jungkook trembling above you as he’s brought mercilessly to the edge. “It’s too late for that,” Hoseok pants out with a chuckle, “it’s already time for my little prince to cum.”

Jungkook moans, a high-pitched keen at the pet-name, and the sound is so sinful you can’t help but clench, making him stiffen impossibly inside you. 

It only takes a thrust or two more, and a gruff command to cum before Jungkook does just that, spilling inside you with a drawn-out whine, thanking his Master with every breath he can suck into his lungs. 

He manages to keep his weight off of you as he rides his high, Hoseok fucking him into oversensitivity before he pulls out, leaving briefly to discard the condom. Jungkook pulls out of you with a wince, but a satisfied one, and rolls over onto his back, running his fingers under the lines of rope lazily as he catches his breath.

Once Hoseok returns, he begins untying you first, and as your wrists are loosened from your chest and promptly released, the cool air on your skin feels like defeat. Your eyes slip shut, a pout no doubt on your lips as you give him nothing but dead weight, forcing the professional to manhandle your torso as he undoes the rope bit by bit. 

You open your eyes once he’s done, frowning at him as he releases the rope from Jungkook’s body. Without looking, Hoseok chastises you. “Don’t look at me like that,” he scolds, “I’m sure next time you’ll be behaved like our Jungkookie here.” The boy in question preens softly at the compliment, blinking up at Hoseok as the dom brushes his hair out of his eyes.

The sight warms your heart, and you can’t deny that Hoseok has the right to discipline you, no doubt feeling self-conscious about his place on the show. And the feeling of him playing you so skilfully is something that will stick with you for a good while. You press your thighs together, sighing out at the slick still between them.

After finishing with Jungkook, speaking quietly with him in praise or reassurance, he comes back around to you, rubbing at the few red marks on your chest and wrists that have appeared from your movements. His eyes search your face, and you’re surprised to see the absolute calm in them, clearly switched out of the Master persona and just into a dominant but caring one. “Not hurt?” 

You shake your head after taking the time to really think it through, wiggling your fingers and toes.

“Not angry?” 

Again, you take a moment to consider, but shake your head.

Hoseok smiles down at you, warm as he squeezes your hands fondly. “Good. Now I know you can’t sleep in your own bed, so Jungkookie has kindly offered for you to stay here with him. Take care of each other, okay? I’m just down the hall.”

By the time Hoseok zips up his pants - you note that even after all that, you hadn’t seen him properly naked - and gathers his bag, Jungkook’s managed to slip his legs under the blankets, snoring away peacefully with the aftermath of a good orgasm.

After the dom leaves, you get under the covers yourself, watching the relaxing cycle of Jungkook’s chest rising and falling, the way his eyes flutter lightly in his sleep, but it doesn’t lull you to unconsciousness.

Instead, the unsatisfied throb between your legs just grows more ferocious than ever. If you could just get yourself off…

Your hand trails down, slipping between your legs naturally, but the first swipe of your index finger against your clit gives you pause. Hoseok had pretty clearly stated that you weren’t to masturbate without permission unless you were in a scene with another contestant and, well… 

You grimace as Jungkook snuffles in his sleep, wriggling around to get more comfortable. You can’t exactly wake him up.

Which leaves you with only one option.

Fuck it. As quietly as you can, you slip out of bed, stumbling over to your pile of clothes. After retrieving your phone - still somehow tucked neatly into your pants pocket - you hop back into bed and seek out the one contact who can alleviate your need. Hoseok himself.

You answer the call with shaking fingers, those not still buried inside you. When Hoseok’s voice comes through, it’s thankfully quiet and low, but the words still make you keen.

“Princess couldn’t wait until the morning, hm?” Hoseok chuckles quietly at your whine of response. “That’s okay. Let Master help you.”

You sigh out, sitting the phone so that it lies on the pillow beside you. “Please, Master,” you whisper, “can I touch my clit?”

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, “such a polite girl now. Baby took her lesson well. You can touch it, princess. Get yourself close for me.”

When you change the angle of the fingers thrusting inside you to make room to rub at your clit, you could cry from the satisfaction, biting your lip to muffle the moan that’s pulled from your lungs. 

Glancing quickly beside you to ensure Jungkook’s asleep, the sight of him sleeping so peacefully as you get off right beside him has you clenching down, and your back arches off the bed. 

Your high is close, and the faster you strum your clit frantically, the more you pant, desperate to keep quiet. Your mouth drops open as you suddenly feel the orgasm approaching, and you turn to the phone on the pillow, getting close enough that he can hear your whisper. “I’m go-gonna cum, Hoseokie, fuck,” you choke out before quickly pressing your lips together, preventing further noise.

His voice is low velvet on the phone, a calm command. “Cum for Master now, princess.”

You feel your orgasm hit you like a tsunami, crashing so violently that you curl over your hands, shivering and convulsing as pleasure rocks every inch of your body. As it floods you entirely, you feel hot tears stream down your face, ones you didn’t even know you were shedding. Your thighs shake and your chest heaves and you don’t stop your fingers until there’s no more pleasure left to be milked from you. 

When you finally cum down from your high, panting, you fumble clumsily for the phone. “Tha-thank you, Master.”

Perhaps it’s the post-orgasm delirium, but you swear you hear the smile in his voice when he murmurs, “you’re most welcome, princess. Now get some rest. You’ve earned it.”

After hanging up, you lock your phone and chuck it down onto the carpet beside the bed carelessly, the wetness between your thighs no longer uncomfortable, now just a satisfying reminder of the pleasure he finally allowed you. Taking one last look at the tranquil face of Jungkook as he slept, you let yourself join him in a blissful unconsciousness.

ELIMINATION GRAPH

No elimination this week ! What a doozy, huh? If you were curious, here are the results of the vote!

It was taken after exactly 48 hours of the poll being open, and required a sign-in with email to prevent spamming so that it was as fair as possible!

In the future, we’ll use this format for both Fan Favourite and Elimination voting. I’ll tell you the top three for audience fan-favourites in the following chapter, and for elimination you’ll find out Y/n’s final decision in the following chapter, plus this graph at the end for the complete results.

Thanks for all your support !

[waatermelon-sugaar]

The Rules of Sabacc

Pairing = Poe x gn!reader

Words = 1.2k

Summary = You and Poe fight kiss over a game of Sabacc

Warnings = Insinuation of sex, gambling

A/N = Prompt no.39 requested by @poedameronloverx​ as part of my 300 follower celebration, thanks so much, hope you like it! Prompt was “Just kiss already, we all know the world wants you two together!” w/ Poe  and bolded in text

I read the rules for sabacc multiple times so i could try and describe it but im sorry i do not understand this game - as far as I understand it’s a bit like Blackjack? Just to 23? And make in space?

Posted to AO3

Masterlist 

***

Sometimes Poe really got on your nerves.

Like now. Why did he really feel the need to challenge this? You’d put your cards down in a flourish, to the combined groans of Rose and Finn, while Rey had sat this round out, having lost all her chips in the last round.

Finn had put his cards down first, causing you all to stare at him. “Minus?” You didn’t mean to make Finn feel bad, but- “How do you get a minus score in this game?”

“Finn that’s basically impossible.” Rey’s poking through Finn’s cards, trying to understand how he got to that point. Finn just gives her the finger and you all laugh. Rey’s not exactly in a position to criticise, bombing out the second and third rounds and losing all her chips, having got too cocky after the first round.  

Rose is next, with a perfectly reasonable score of 16, Poe had 22, and you’d waited to put your cards down last with an unnecessary flourish and a huge grin. “Read ‘em and weep, Dameron,” you flashed a grin at him. “23, bang on.”

There had already been debates (read: arguments) springing up during the previous rounds, but now you and Poe were drawing with 2 wins each, and this one was to be the decider.

The 5 of you had planned to play sabacc after Poe had made the bold declaration that “he was the best at sabacc.” That had inevitably sparked protests, with you and Rey arguing that no-one could claim to be the best; it was a game of luck and skill - impossible to predict.

But of course Poe couldn’t just take your word for it, instead leaning forward to- “Stop poking your grubby fingers at my cards!”

“I’m just double-checking!” He protests, still checking, and mentally counting, you could see it behind his eyes. “I’m not saying you did it on purpose, but everyone can miscount!”

In retaliation, you move towards him, hand threading through his curls, ruffling it up, one advantage to knowing all his weak spots. Normally your hand is in his hair brings him comfort and he’ll lean towards you, keen for more, but not today.

Immediately, his upper body is recoiling, leaning closer to Finn to get away from you, even as you follow him, like the two of you are tied together. Sometimes you spend enough time together that it feels like you are.

And Poe’s mock-horrified gasp is kind of adorable, even if he is far too protective of his hair.

You let out a huff, aware he is overreacting for the sake of your friends, and you suddenly notice Rey with a look in her eyes. A look that says she knows far more than you think she has any right to.

So you add a bit of bite when you speak, leaning over to where Poe’s cards are lying. “Oh grow up Poe. Your hair will survive … and more importantly my cards beat yours!” You spread his cards out in order to see them better, quickly adding up his points. “Look! Count your Flasks, and then if you add Balance, which is minus 11, you’ve got 22, and I’ve got 23 because the Ace is 0 - you know I’m right!”

Poe draws himself up, squaring up to you, your faces coming dangerously close considering you’re in public. You want to quirk your eyebrow at him, ask him what he thinks he’s doing, because all your friends are right there, and they don’t know you're dating yet, the two of you preferring to keep your relationship under wraps until you’d both figured out what you wanted for your futures.

But you don’t, because your friends are right there, and Rey is starting to smirk in your periphery, and you suddenly think that the two of you might not be as good at hiding your relationship as you think you are.

You allow yourself a second, while you remember how you and Poe had even ended up together, wandering the halls after a particularly dangerous mission, neither of you ready to say goodbye, wanting reassurance that there was someone out there who was also alive, who knew what you’d both gone through.

Before you knew it, you’d been wandering around empty hallways holding hands for hours.

And then you were standing in front of your room, and Poe didn't want to go, not letting go of you, and you didn’t want him too, but both of you feeling the pressure of expectation now he was at your door.

So instead of sending him away, which you probably should have done, you’d invited him in, and you’d cuddled all night long, finding the steady reassurance of another person more grounding than anything else.

And when you’d woken in the morning, limbs tangled and eyes heavy, you’d kissed, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Ever since, it had been almost impossible to quash Poe’s enthusiasm. It had been his idea to keep it a secret for the first few months, out of worry what everyone else would think, and not wanting other people’s expectations to affect how the two of you behaved.

It was precious and delicate, this thing the two of you were nurturing, and neither of you wanted it to break. Just let it grow a little, grow a little stronger, a little better, a little tougher, before you introduced it to this hard, cruel galaxy.

However, despite Poe’s idea for secrecy, he was insatiable, hand sneaking around your back when he thought he could get away with it, pulling you to one side after a brief so he could sneak a kiss, and once, comming you to come to his x-wing ‘for an emergency’, only for you to get there and find out he wanted to tell you about his biggest fantasy.

You’d do it again.

You're broken out of your memories by Rose. “Just kiss already, we all know the world wants you two together!”

You turn your head, confused and a little worried she’d managed to figure it out. You manage to get out half a word, a strangled, “What-?”

But then Poe’s hand is on your chin, guiding you back to face him, soft and light enough that you could turn away if you wanted to. You don’t resist, your head turning back to him, and watching as his eyes close in clear invitation.

You take half a beat, aware that your friends are watching in anticipation, but also Poe’s eyelashes are so long, resting on his cheeks like that, and maybe he’s right to be vain about his hair, he’s so cute-

And then you’re leaning in, your impulse control vanishing, and all you can think is that you’ll give the others a show and a half.

You do, because automatically, Poe’s hands are on your waist, yours in his hair, moaning, and tugging each other closer. Dimly, you’re aware that your friends are simultaneously both aghast and cheering, but you only pull away when Poe tries to slip you the tongue.

That man has less self control than you do. But you don't need to give your friends that much of a show.

You’re looking at him for a second, your faces still too close to each other, and suddenly you really, really want to kiss him again. You close your eyes and lean towards him again, when Finn puts his hand on your shoulder, clearing his throat, and pulling you away.

“Well,” Rey looks far too pleased with herself, and you suddenly register that she’s slipping credits she didn’t previously have into her pocket, while Rose’s stash looks significantly smaller. “I’m glad you two have got that out of the way.”

***

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