#so autistic about fusion biology

[galaxythedragonshifter]

I uhh. Might have gotten a bit autistic about @eddwardharrison 's tsams fusion AU. And might have utilized the rough idea in my pseudo-sona's story UHHH whoops-

I'm so feral about Edd's fusion AU RAHHHHHH!!!/vpos

Anywho quick explanation of Galaxy (skip to cut if needed ajsbsbbsbvdvdv): She's a human who started off as a Ninjago Sona with dragon shapeshifting powers and magic. She no longer lives in Ninjago (due to some issues), and she's with "her" version of Sun and Moon. So, she's not strictly a tsams or single-fandom OC. She's kind of a multi-dimensional traveller of sorts who eventually meets Eclipse and the other tsams variants of the animatronics.

Galaxy and Eclipse were forcefully fused by Dark Sun, not long before Nexus is killed. It's unclear what his full intentions are and the next steps he's taking. (Galaxy was helping find a solution to stop D. Sun's plan, and he needed to get her out of the picture temporarily. Also gets Eclipse out of the way.) They end up stuck like that.

Their fusion is a dca model animatronic named Midnight.

(Gets really broken at some point? (Idk by who atp I had been thinking D Sun but he doesn't make sense. Nexus makes more sense ajdhhdh) Midnight powers off basically terrified. Found by Ruin.)

What each contribute to the fusion:

Galaxy:

- Makes Midnight more empathetic

- makes Midnight scared of being abandoned by connections (but the half that actually TRIES)

- Nightmares about failure, people she cares about dying, or abandonment.

- Fear of becoming evil and hurting people

- Makes Midnight have a difficult time placing words for feelings, but more psychological knowledge and understanding later (admittance from Eclipse's side is the biggest problem)

- Makes Midnight like to doodle and draw

Eclipse:

- Makes Midnight unable to vocalize his problems and feelings

- makes Midnight more closed off emotionally.

- Makes Midnight smart technologically

- Makes Midnight scared of being abandoned by connections

- Fear of being trapped and death.

- Nightmares about being trapped/past actions

- Makes Midnight snappy when angry.

Fusion info:

- Midnight uses both he/him and they/them (they/them due to having Galaxy in the fusion and because they're technically two different people combined.)

- Memories for Eclipse only goes back three or so years, meaning Midnight has a LOT more of Galaxy's memories than Eclipse's.

- Midnight has no voice claim (sadly, I am not versed enough in media to find one TwT)

- Midnight has a lot of Eclipse's physical traits while having a lot of Galaxy's memories.

- Color pallete comes from both Eclipse and Galaxy. Midnight has a blue/purplish-blue and black color palette.

- Outfit: DCA pants, little cloak with a moon clasp. Both have a black/dark indigo gradient with tiny spots on the black bits like stars. Ribbons around wrists, but without bells.

- Paw feet; clawed fingers; rays with smaller black ones in between; tail (robots with tails my beloved)

- Midnight is aware he is a fusion of Galaxy and Eclipse. Despite knowing and acknowledging he is simply a combination of the two, he often refers to himself using "me/I" and occasionally "us/we".

- Midnight feels the urge to eat due to Galaxy's side, but doesn't always do so due to Eclipse's lack of that need and willingness to do so. When they do eat, he pointedly avoids foods from the Pizzaplex restaurants.

- The reason the fusion didn't become fully unstable (despite being forced) was because Ruin gave them enough information on how fusions work behind D Sun's back, and let them know that it was going to be a million times worse if they fought for control.

- He also brought up the fact it was entirely possible Galaxy could die if it were to be too unstable, as she's a biological being, and that fusing a human and an animatronic together had never been done before, and therefore could have really bad effects if not taken with caution.

- It is slightly unstable though. The occasional explosive anger, panic attacks, nightmares, shutdowns, ect all cause that. They both experienced pretty severe traumas, and that doesn't make for the best mix.

- Both are REALLY stubborn. So Midnight is also stubborn, and won't stop trying to find a way to correct things (without Ruin's help).

- Both have the same mindset when it comes to rest. Both overwork themselves and get less sleep than they should, but neither are stupid enough to fully collapse either...that all gets thrown out the window. This guy AVOIDS sleep like the plague and has to be bullied to bed. You have to knock him out with 30 pounds of melatonin and hide the fizzyfaz and caffeine.

- Galaxy isn't really secretive. She will hide secrets from villains accordingly for strategy, though. And she has hidden secrets and what not. But it's more because of her currently living in a world not used to magic. Eclipse doesn't really fall into any of those categories. So she could honestly care less what he knew about her. What do ya know, maybe seeing how she ticks will give him an additional trusted friend aside from Earth. Gal is much like Earth in many ways after all. That doesn't mean that she isn't afraid to be vulnerable sometimes. But if it gets revealed to someone, she doesn't mind unless she has an actual reason for keeping it from them. She has become more solitary since her abandonment trauma happened, but that doesn't affect Eclipse at all.

- They're stuck in the fusion for about 4-5 weeks (which is quite a lot of time). Long enough for each of them to remember almost everything the fusion knew after separation

Midnight's traits condensed (aka rewording everything as him being a singular individual):

He's very afraid of being betrayed or abandoned. He'll talk to people, but doesn't consider many friends.

Knows he's a fusion, so they can't completely absolve himself from Eclipse's past actions. Feels as if he has committed them himself and feels constant heavy guilt. He's constantly worried people hate him. Feels like a bad person. Knows that some people *do* hate him (or at least, both halves).

Major perfectionism and feels guilt if he can't live up to those standards. Inferiority complex.

Angry at Dark Sun. He's extremely stubborn and doesn't like taking orders from people (especially if they aren't in his or others' best interest/safety).

Cries after panic attacks and nightmares; often hides under a desk or in a small enclosed space. Sometimes spaces out.

Pretty intense desire to protect Galaxy's Sun and Moon; knows why but is confused at the familiar protective feelings all the same.

Very angry, but empathetic at the same time. Snaps at people when they're unnecessarily being stupid or unreasonable.

Craves physical affection but also purposefully avoids it.

Often fidgets with his wrist ribbons.

Occasionally doodles.

Midnight trusts Gal's Sun and Moon more than anyone else. Will tell them anything, albeit hesitant.

AUTISM 🎉 (you've earned your autistic license Midnight!!!! :D)

Quotes:

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry." (Panic attack :'(

"Ruin. Help us, or I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU." (After Ruin finds them)

"What do you mean we're STUCK?!"

"If he so much as lays a finger on those two, he's DEAD!"

"You destroyed 5,000 dimensions, rebuilt someone who didn't want to be rebuilt, and probably did other things! Why the hell would I trust you?"

"I will figure it out *myself*, thank you."

"I'm *fine*."

"Wait, you don't have to kill me, ok? We're already stuck like this, you don't need me dead."

Ruin: "Are you...alright, Midnight?"

*Cuts to Midnight, exhausted, drinking a FizzyFaz with three sun drops in it (aka Caffeine Can of Death™)*: "No."

Ruin: "Go to sleep."

Midnight: "No."

Ruin: "You're gonna shut down or something. Please go charge."

Midnight: "No. I'm fine."

Ruin: "You're not 'fine'. You're exhausted. You're on 5% or less."

Midnight: "It's never easy. Nothing's ever easy."

Lunar: "It is for me."

Midnight: "Says the person whose been watching Nutella commercials for several hours straight while ignoring his brother and not caring."

Lunar: "That's rich coming from you."

Midnight: "Eclipse isn't the only one in here, LUNAR."

Dialogue for him is so fun I need to write more actually-

I imagine that after they're separated, they both become pretty close friends. Especially with Galaxy being a lot like Earth in terms of therapist friend and kindness and understanding. I also imagine that after the fusion, after Eclipse has "seen" the kind of hell she's been through, and the fact that she managed to get so far without snapping or becoming evil, is genuinely shocking to him. Like "you should be evil already how tf are you not?" LMAO

I'm SO intrigued by the concept of fusion and what it would be like. Like that's gotta be the weirdest experience ever. To know what it's like to be both people and have "experienced" being both due to yours and another persons literal consciousnesses being one. That's gotta frick with your mind KSNSS LMAO. It's such a cool concept and it should be used in more media imo

[quotablefanfiction]

“So…” At least he looks about as awkward as she feels, cheeks puffed out under his beard. “Swords, huh?” “Oh! Swords! Yeah!” Yep, swords, Connie can talk swords. Connie can talk swords, and keep talking swords until they forget they’re supposed to be awkward around each other.

Greg and Connie left in the fun awkward situation of friend’s parent and unfamiliar child being left alone together (chp. 1)

Like A Word, A Sound, A Song by aenor_llelo (AO3) Steven Universe – General – Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe #Gem Culture #Gem Language #Music #Gemsong #Alien Biology #Flowers #Non-Linear Narrative #Kisscoding #Remember How Steven Is A Fusion Because I Do #Steven Universe is a Diamond #The Maheswarans Starring In 'Forgot My Son-in-Law Is An Alien' #Body Horror But Only A Little #Past Lives #Gem Neurotypical Is Not Human Neurotypical #Autistic Steven Universe #By Human Standards At Least

It starts with a well-meaning question from Mr. Universe.

or

He is both human, and not. She forgets, sometimes.

[fuck-edfrugs]

I’m trying to design shoji and Tokoyamis kid and I have a general idea of her but I can’t figure out a pose and I keep accidentally making her less femme than I want, I want her to be more femme so she matches better with her little sister, plus I definitely need more practice with more femme characters. Shes definitely gonna be punk, is a vigilante bc even though she loves her parents she has her issues with the hero system so she does heroism her own way, mostly focusing on helping people out like koichi before he joined knuckleduster and pop. I’m definitely giving her a bird head. Her quirk will be shadow limbs, basically a complete fusion of her dads quirks. I’m having trouble getting a handle on her personality which is making giving her a pose difficult.

This is her sister btw, legally she’s kendo’s but bc kendo lives with tokoyami and shoji (they’re a qpr lol) they’re all her parents. Her name is tora, she’s quirkless and very autistic about mushrooms and fungus in general, her favorite hero is shemage. She stutters when she gets very excited about things and she absolutely hates it. She’s in a course I’ve made for ua which is basically just a biology course bc I want all the fankids to be at ua together except for the adults, the younger kids and probably the dabihawks kids. She loves fairy folklore and got so incredibly excited when she found a fairy circle in the forest. She thinks of dark shadow as her aunt who likes to teach her how to do illegal things (Tokoyami has done his best to mitigate dark shadows chaos influencing the kids. He was not successful.)

[mar64ds]

opinions on the various cog managers of TTCC

wow thank you for asking because i want to infodump

i like the main taskline managers, i think especially derrick man has really fun dialogue interacting with the other toon while also adding more information about how many cogs think and how they find boring stuff fun. i don't have much to say about facility managers but i love skelecogs designs in general

but the regional managers are the reason why i wanted to get into toontown. don't get me wrong toontown is a really charming game with a fun gameplay, it's a good game without them but it is massively improved with them in it. They add a lot of personality and really interesting stories to this world. I feel like you can do A LOT with the concept of toontown and i'm glad CC is doing just that, with more content coming in the future, it's really exciting

Duck Shuffler is my personal favorite because i think he is funny. But seriously i do really like his design and he has a really fun personality specially compared with how serious cogs usually are. That's why I really like Major Player too, he is fun, he is theatrical, he puts on a good show, he does not care about this big corporation he cares about his music and his shows, which is a really interesting concept to explore. I know the fusion isn't canon but it adds a lot to their relationship and how well they work together, how neither really care about this fight with toons and just like to have a good time

In fact managers like Rainmaker, Multislacker and Chainsaw Manager also explore the idea that there are cogs that simply don't want (or care) to fight the toons. Rainmaker i adore, she's one of my favorites, seeing a cog that is so miserable working in this company but can't even reach out to toons either is really tragic. Adding the mercy option to this battle is a game changer, this is something that you don't expect in toontown and yet they pull it off perfectly, Rainmaker leaves a really big impact on you and gives you high hopes for what the future of this game can offer you

Multislacker is a fun character, i tend to really love the cartoony apathetic nihilistic characters, and they offer another interesting perspective of what if there are cogs that just do not care, that they see the monotony of the endless gameplay of toons fighting cogs and cogs fighting toons. It's fun in a meta way but it's fun in the story itself too, you get to understand that this character is more than just some lazy guy, they just don't care about all of this and prefer to at least get to have fun watching tv

Chainsaw Manager is an interesting case, it's someone whose life has been ruined by working in this company. We don't know exactly why this is happening, i thought i was missing some information but it seems like this is so far an unsolved mystery? Which is interesting too, having missing pieces in the story that we will find out with time. But you don't have to understand why this is happening to understand that this guy is pretty miserable, to the point where he worries about toons's safety. He also has the best animation in the entire game lol all the budget went to this man. I feel bad that i don't have much to say about Treekiller but the fact that he has a brotherly bond with Chainsaw Manager is what makes me care the most about this character, they have very different personalities but it's always so nice to see cogs that care about each other

It's why i really love Firestarter and Pacesetter as well, these two have a romantic relationship and i think it's awesome there is gay people in this game. shy nervous character with confident energetic character kind of relationship which i always find really endearing. Firestarter has one of my favorite designs of the game, Pacesetter's fight is insane, and overall both of them are characters i really like individually and work even better as a couple

Deepdiver is one of my favorites simply because i am autistic and love marine biology, so she's of course and instant favorite (we even share the same name lol), plus overall they're very sweet and it's interesting that there are cogs that DO care about the environment. Gatekeeper, her girlfriend, talks like rouxl kaard so i can barely understand her but i love her personality and knight helmet is always an awesome design choice

Prethinker is another big favorite of mine and he's the complete opposite of complexity, he is the most cartoon villain of them all and i love him exactly for that. i just think he is really funny, loser forever stuck in the first area of the game

I don't have super interesting things to say about the rest of the managers but i like them a lot too. Bellringer is funny to me, Mouthpiece is grandma, Featherbedder is sleepy nonbinary representation. I like plutocrat but i like his skelecogs more, and sorry to witch hunter but i do not care about this man lol

Overall this game has really fun characters, a really good cast of characters to infodump about

[fanfiction-dot-rec]

Like A Word, A Sound, A Song

READ HERE

Author: aenor_llelo

Fandom: Steven Universe

Word Count:10,050

Chapters: 13/13

Series: For A Diamond Is A Marveled Thing (Par 1 of 34)

Rating: gen

Category: Other, F/M

Archive Warnings: No Archie Warnings Apply

Summary: It starts with a well-meaning question from Mr. Universe.

or

He is both human, and not. She forgets, sometimes.

TAGS AND MY OPINIONS UNDER THE CUT

Tags:  Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran, Greg Universe, Pearl (Steven Universe), Amethyst (Steven Universe), Garnet (Steven Universe), Pink Steven Universe, Lion (Steven Universe), Doug Maheswaran, Priyanka Maheswaran, Bismuth (Steven Universe), Peridot (Steven Universe), Lars Barriga, Jenny Pizza, gem culture, Gem Language, Music, The Maheswarans Starring In 'Forgot My Son-in-Law Is An Alien', was thinking about asgardian allspeak and now we're here, Accidentally Orphaned The Original, Alien Biology, Remember How Steven Is A Fusion Because I Do, Steven Universe is a Diamond, Flowers, Body Horror But Only A Little, Past Lives, Gem Neurotypical Is Not Human Neurotypical, Autistic Steven Universe, By Human Standards At Least, Greg Universe Is A Good Dad Or At Least Trying To Be, Gemsong, This Is The Fic That Started The Gemsong Headcanon, I See Y'all Using It And It Fills Me With Joy, Autistic Connie Maheswaran, Non-Linear Narrative, Kisscoding, This Fic Also Originated Kisscoding

My opinions:

So the series overall is a multi fandom crossover. It has SU, Marvel, Gravity Falls, and some blink-and-you-miss-it Lilo and Stitch stuff. But this first part in the series is just SU. I have a soft spot for world building, and frankly this is a wonderful example of it. It has a ton of headcanons about gem culture, and specifics of Steven being a fusion. I just think it’s really really neat. Like I said, I’ll probably rec all the completed works in this series at some point of another. They’re all really great!

[leftmyheartinyokohama]

In 2015, I went to Yokohama for 6 months. Best time of my life. I’m far from Japanese, but it felt like I’d finally found home. My mom was a “Navy brat” in Yokohama, and there’s a sculpture in Yamashita Koen not too far from Chinatown that celebrates The Friendship between American and Japanese Girlscouts, and that’s there because of my Grandmama. It’s why I chose Yokohama (it was Yokohama or Hakodate, I prefer the cold). I love Japan wholeheartedly, and Yokohama is one of the places my mom was a child. I’m not Japanese, but my family has history there. I’d also lost my Grandmama a few years previously, so I would often go visit that sculpture after language school like I was visiting her. It was a sculpture, not a grave, but...she was the reason it was there. So it was like a small piece of her, even though her name was nowhere on it.

The reason I left Japan was because I’d bitten off more than I could chew. Lots of people move independently to Japan at 24 and do quite well for themselves, but I wasn’t developed enough. I didn’t know how to function on my own, be an independent adult at 24. I didn’t know what to do, I ran out of money and I essentially shut down. Not knowing what to do, where else to turn, I turned to my mom, and she brought me back to america, she asked me what I wanted to learn. I wanted to learn how to be a grownup.

I have never in my life wanted to grow up. But it’s unavoidable. So I needed to learn. It’s how I failed, so I needed to learn how to not fail again.

But Yokohama still has my heart. I left it there, in all the beauty, graciousness and the first place in the world, in my entire life, where I felt I was heard. I’m autistic, communicating, speaking to others is hard. Yet my Japanese friends more often than not knew what I was trying to say before the words even made it out of my mouth. Because half of Japanese is context and body language. All my struggles with commicating? Seemed to vanish like they’d never even been there.

And I fit. Suddenly I felt like I belonged. As an aspergirl, as a person, I’d spent my whole life trying to find my place in the world, and the only time I’d ever felt so accepted before in my life besides my family was Nina.

“Want to be friends?”

“I feel like I should warn you that I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I’m not normal.”

“So what?” And my whole world view shifted.

————0————

Sitting on a train from Narita Airport to Yokohama, absolutely exhausted after my 13-hour journey from London during which I’d barely slept due to the sheer excitement of finally getting to arrive in this country that had turned my depression on its head and made my suicidal daydreams vanish just by watching a Tokusatsu I felt represented by.

Looking out the window as the sun set over the very Japanese countryside and homes speeding past outside and smiling, as the jittery feeling of excitement right over my heart settled back into my chest with something akin to a relieved sigh one heaves when getting into a hot tub or a nice warm bed after a hard day. I love it here, and I hadn’t even really existed there long enough to tell the difference.

————0————

When I came back to america, I’ve never been more frustrated or upset about anything. My communication issues were back, and English is my native language. I liked myself better in Japanese.

Depression set in again, but I had a goal, I was going to fight it. I’m going to get back to Japan. Need to make the money somehow, but I will.

Time passes, worked part time as a concierge in the building I lived in, worked in an Indian-Thai-Nepali fusion restaurant with GLORIOUS food (if you’re ever in downtown Charlottesville, try Himalayan Fusion), both jobs for about a year. Then I got a job in a retirement community in Dining Services, quit the restaurant job- though I came back for a quick stint later- then quit the concierge job when I got sick with a cold and wasn’t getting better. Figured it was due to stress from never having any time off and that I should prioritise the job that pays me more.

I’ve been working at the Retirement Community for the past 4 years. I switched from part-time to full-time two thirds of the way through the first year because I needed the health insurance because I was turning 26 and aging out of my parents’ plan.

My goal was to get back to Japan before I was 30, but life happens. I live in Charlottesville, Virginia. We had the protest/riot that killed Heather one year, then riot police setting up perimeters around where I live on the anniversary the next year. My health went to hell in a hand basket and a mixture of heartbroken depression over Japan and hormones got me weighing something like 311 lbs and seeing a nutritionist. “Biology, not Blameolgy.” Wasn’t sure if he was a psychiatrist on the side or what, but always hearing that, and repeating it back to him always made me feel a lot better. I was 269lbs when I weighed myself this morning. I think I lot of weight loss has to do with choosing happiness, because depression is heavy, y’know? At my lightest, I was 180lbs. 90lbs to go.

Then Corona happened, and I dug my heels in. I’d been doing this job for three years and was feeling hopeless, but one thing I knew for sure- working through a Pandemic? Christmas was going to be good.

I’m 4 years in now. There’s a good handful of residents who can’t wear their masks properly, or always have to be reminded, and I’ve developed a hand sign to communicate ‘mask on properly’ without even having to speak or interrupt anyone’s order. I’m 29 and will be 30 this June. It’s sad, but I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not going to be able to get back to Japan before I’m 30.

I just wish there was something I could do. Something besides just running in this hamster wheel of a job like I have been for the past 4 years. I bought myself an electric bike, and that’s saving me a LOT of money that I’d been spending on Lyfts and Ubers to commute to and from work pre-corona. I’ve been running this blog since... since I was maybe 18? It’s just photos of Japan I’ve reblogged from other people, it’s more a hobby than anything, since I love Japan.

I just...wish there was something more I could do. To be able to get back sooner. Maybe next year, when I’m 30. Hopefully corona’ll be handled by then. I’m already vaccinated, thanks to my job in the retirement community, but I’m treating that like a thin jacket in a winter storm. Masks and hand washing are the proper winter gear in that context.

... I just want to go home.