#so at least there are nice people in this cruel world. there may be tummy aches but there are also nice people. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

perpetually-jungshook · 6 years ago

Text

RED || 03

Genre: humor, jimin x jungkook for now, angst, fluff, humor

Summary: Life is weird. Jungkook works as Jimin’s niche porn photographer and finds it difficult to remember that the he's only flirting with the camera. Namjoon despises the world of big business but works as a manager for an international corporate company and hates it (cruel irony, he says). Yoongi is just a typical IT guy who has a secret he’s never told anyone, which is totally typical. Hoseok and Seokjin work at a retirement home, from which they one day bring back some random volunteer with fiery red hair who may or may not change everything.

Warnings: language, crude humor, pining

Word Count: 8.3k

Links: Storyboard || 01 || Previous || Next

For the amount of guys that hit on Hoseok, it’s almost painfully ironic that he’s straight. Jimin suspects it has to do with his confidence and openness, or maybe there’s just something about the way he’s able to talk to complete strangers like they’ve been best friends for a decade. It’s perplexing on multiple levels.

Earlier that day, when Jimin had picked Hoseok up from the retirement home for a quick trip to their favorite cafe for tea and sandwiches, the (male) barista started flirting with him. Then some random hot guy who appeared to be writing either an essay or manuscript. Then the parking attendant. It’s unfair really. But maybe Jimin just needs to pause and reconsider. Not every laugh, wink, and scribbled phone number should be considered flirting. Right?

To give Hoseok credit, he’s not someone that shouts “no homo” every time he makes eye contact with another guy. People might think he’s closeted (and doing a poor job at hiding it) because he’s so unabashedly affectionate, openly holding hands with his friends and even exchanging cheek kisses. Jimin also would’ve thought he was at least bi, but Hoseok himself has said he’s straight on multiple occasions and Jimin is inclined to believe his friend’s word. Still, whatever appearances suggest and despite what people may think, Hoseok is undoubtedly into girls, is simply comfortable with his masculinity, and only has one small Jimin related secret.

Yes Hoseok is Straight, but sometimes a guy just needs to get his dick wet and Jimin definitely doesn’t mind helping.

Hoseok is three fingers deep when he giggles, “Yknow, you’re so cute when you’re jealous.”

Jimin’s face flushes, heels digging into the mattress at the slick stretch.

“Jealous? Says Who?” he asks, voice a little hoarse, but ultimately playful.

“You looked like you wanted to murder that barista.”

“You can’t prove anything,” Jimin attempts to retort, laughing, but the sound is cut short as Hoseok uses his thumb to press that one spot just below the base of Jimin’s dick, causing his stomach muscles to tense. “Besides, I’m not allowed to be jealous.”

Hoseok doesn’t belong to him and Jimin doesn’t think they’d be compatible in any type of romantic relationship. It’s just nice to appreciate his friend’s lean, tanned, toned body every now and then. Like, really nice.

The older boy snorts, obviously amused as he says, “Yes you are. And I totally encourage it because it’s cute.”

“And it makes you horny.”

“Yeah. That too.”

Jimin’s hands close around fistfuls of sheets to anchor himself as Hoseok continues to pump into him slowly. Thankfully they’ve gotten past the point in their weird relationship where this might be uncomfortable and idle banter helps smooth over the parts that are still awkward. Over the past few months, Jimin has learned that Hoseok’s fingers are long and slender, except around the second knuckle. The expected stretch is usually unexpected as the rhythm often changes to keep him on his toes, but Jimin is definitely not complaining.

A few minutes of feeling the inconsistently rhythmic drag and push has him squirming though. He wants to say something, to demand or beg for anything that involves more, but Hoseok is a tease. The more Jimin asks, the more prolonged the wait.

There’s only one “more” that Hoseok will always respond positively to.

“Lube please?”

“Of course,” Hoseok obliges immediately, popping open the cap with his free hand to reapply and ease the friction again. At least he always makes sure Jimin is comfortable and safe.

He braces himself for the brief cold sensation, closing his eyes, but it doesn’t last long.

“Okay, I think I’m—”

Jimin chokes as Hoseok purposefully pushes agains his prostate, making the younger boy’s hips lift off of the bed in surprise.

“Ready for my dick?” Hoseok finishes.

“Please don’t say that.”

“Are you ready for my dick, Jiminie?”

Jimin can’t help laughing, though it sounds breathy, “Yeah, fine, just put it in.”

Hoseok gasps, obviously pretending to be offended. He pushes against Jimin’s prostate again, making the younger boy fidget.

“I’m not going to just put it in. I’m going to slip my leaking cock inside of your warm wet walls and make sweet, sweet love to one of my best f—”

“If you keep talking, I’m gonna leave.” Both boys laugh as Jimin pouts and weakly, playfully shoves at Hoseok’s shoulder, ignoring the momentary emptiness when Hoseok’s fingers withdraw, allowing him to clean his hand.

“I’m just taking lines from one of Jin’s fanfictions. I thought you’d like it.”

“I hate it,” Jimin says, still giggling, but lets Hoseok push his knees up toward his chest, exposing his entrance to the older boy.

“Good. Because I think I’ll do a play by play narration of how I slip my throbbing dick into your pretty little hole—”

“Not listening!”

“And then pound you mercilessly into the mattress as my balls slap loudly against your tight perky ass—”

“You are seriously the worst.”

“And then I’ll shoot thick white ropes of my seed inside of you—”

“Hobi!”

“This is just revenge for my hot pocket, Jiminie.”

Jimin is laughing too hard to care about how long it takes to slip a pillow beneath his hips, or for Hoseok to put on the condom as he suppresses his own laughter. The narration of bad smut serves as a good distraction while Hoseok carefully slips the head of his dick in too, makes accommodating his length easier because Jimin is already somewhat relaxed. This is another thing he likes about casual sex with Hoseok. It’s actually fun and not heavy and tense. It’s more about feeling good and less about keeping up impressions.

“You okay?” Hoseok asks with a tone that’s now faded into something softer, accompanied by a small smile.

“Yeah, ‘m good,” Jimin closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths as the older boy gently, slowly rocks his hips, pushing his length in just a little further each time.

It’s not often that the two get time alone in the apartment. Seokjin and Hoseok usually get concurrent shifts at the retirement home and now they have Taehyung to deal with, so today is a rare opportunity. Hoseok got out of work a little early, Taehyung went to go record his podcast, and Seokjin had signed up for some medical training program that took him out of town for the evening. So yeah, stars aligning, universe blessings, coincidences and shit. Jimin is finally getting dicked down and it feels great.

Hoseok’s hands brush up the center of Jimin’s chest, probably purposefully missing his sensitive nipples by a mere hair’s width, then travel back down to his stomach. What a goddamn tease. His palms are rough, but not exactly calloused. Jimin takes a deep breath, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as the older boy leans forward, giving him leverage to squeeze Jimin’s ass, then massage firmly along his thighs, inadvertently pressing them against his chest again and almost folding him in half. Jimin has always been flexible, but the pleasant ache of this stretch goes straight to his dick, making it twitch against his lower tummy as a small, quiet grunt leaves his lips, toes curling. Hoseok smirks, then hooks Jimin’s knees over his shoulders.

“I wonder how many people wish they were me right now.”

Jimin scrunches his nose. “That’s a weird thing to say.”

“Well look at you, like fuck. No wonder you do so well shooting porn,” Hoseok laughs as his hips settle against Jimin’s, keeping still, giving him time to adjust.

The younger boy blushes, “Thank… you? Right? That was a compliment?”

“Definitely,” Hoseok says, beaming, then pinches one of Jimin’s nipples, causing him to squeak. Such a fucking goddamn tease. Jimin loves it. “Why don’t you ever do streams? I’m sure people’d pay a shit ton to see you like this.”

“You mean hanging off a straight boy’s dick?”

“Totally.”

They share another laugh, though Jimin’s is shaky and short lived as Hoseok wraps a hand around his length, pumping slowly. The older boy’s hips continue to remain still.

“I dunno,” Jimin’s voice is unsteady as he watches the fist move up and down, flicking quickly every so often, and he tries to form complete sentences despite the increasing difficulty. “I shoot niche porn. Can’t exactly stay in full makeup and costume on a stream. And I’ve never been good at the whole camera thing.”

“Camera thing?”

“Yeah. Editing and setup and w-whatever,” he says, stuttering as Hoseok finally swivels his hips, a small action that has heat blossoming in Jimin’s abdomen.

“Maybe Jungkook could help you out with that too.”

“He wouldn’t.”

“I’m sure he would.” Hoseok chuckles, pushing his hips forward, sheathing himself inside Jimin once again. “Except you might want to get life insurance just in case he spontaneously combusts?”

“Hobi, not right now.”

“I mean, don’t you think it’d be the opportunity of a lifetime for him-?”

“Don’t.”

The one word is more powerful than any of Jimin’s former protests, and causes Hoseok’s leisurely rhythm to come to an abrupt stop. The younger boy tries to backpedal.

“Sorry, I just… please don’t talk about him while you’re inside me.”

Tension hangs in the air, but only for a moment as Hoseok’s expression softens.

“Right, I’m sorry,” he apologizes too, leaning forward to press a kiss into Jimin’s hair. “I’ll stop.”

He’s the one person who gets to kiss Jimin while fucking, and only on the forehead, cheeks, or temples. Jimin doesn’t know exactly why he self-imposes this rule. Maybe it’s because kissing strangers during sex feels too intimate, even more so than the penetration itself. Maybe he feels as if letting anyone be that emotionally close to him is dangerous, being that it’s always him who gets left behind. Or maybe he’s shallow and doesn’t like inexperienced tongues and lips and doesn’t want to deal with figuring out who has which or worse, both. Whatever the case, he trusts Hoseok, but only so much.

“Do you want me to…” the way Hoseok says this implies the sentence would end with “pull out.”

“No it’s fine. Just fuck me already, please?” Jimin laughs, but the sound is strained.

After that, there’s no more talking, no more humorous banter. There’s only the awkward sounds of soft grunts and sharp sighs and skin on skin. It’s not that Hoseok is bad at sex or that his skills are slacking. Far from it. Jimin’s mood has simply been thoroughly ruined and all of the tension that had been building up in his body and mind over the past two weeks goes from being a heavy concrete solid to a murky, gritty molasses as one of the most unsatisfying orgasms of his life hits him. He feels disgusting, but in a way that has almost nothing to do with Hoseok and everything to do with Jimin being a fucking slut.

The older boy’s thrusts get sloppy when he reaches his own climax, huffing, shoving himself deep enough that Jimin winces. As his small fingers press into Hoseok’s sweat slicked shoulders, tugging him down to lie chest to chest and smearing Jimin’s mess between their stomachs, he wants to scream in frustration. The post-orgasm fog was supposed to help clear his thoughts, but naturally (as all fog does, he supposes) it only makes things more difficult.

Jimin does not like Jungkook, not in the way that Jungkook likes him. But he wishes he did… He wants to like him, to be in love with him because then maybe everything could be simple, maybe Jimin wouldn’t hate himself, and maybe the ever pervasive gritty, viscous feeling of guilt would finally go away.

Stories in the Clouds

Today it’s overcast, a little more gray.

Jungkook looks out the window to see if it’s gray with an “e” or with an “a.” He’d once heard the only difference was preference. Another person had told him gray is darker and grey is lighter. Working under the latter explanation, it’s definitely gray outside.

So there aren’t many individual clouds to look at… but that doesn’t mean we can’t find a story to tell, right?

Taehyung’s voice is soothing, deep, a little different in ways Jungkook can’t quite explain as it filters through his earbuds.

Seeing the under side of clouds that are kind of smudgy like this makes me wonder what the tops look like. Are they smudgy too? Or is there something hidden beyond this gloomy grayness? Delicate wisps and spires of water vapor stretching toward the sun…

Jungkook wonders if he’s reading from a script, or just making it up as he goes along. The only clues he has are that it’s currently streaming live and the sole noise beyond his voice are the distant sounds of traffic. If it’s scripted, he’s doing a great job at hiding it. If it’s not, then Taehyung is a ridiculously skilled orator.

If there were a palace in the clouds, do you think it would look like that?

A rhetorical question, but Jungkook tries to picture it anyway.

All spires and wisps and winding stair cases. When I was little— and I think a lot of us have experienced this at least once— I used to want to live up there. Rule over my own cloud kingdom high above the ground. I wondered if it would feel dense but springy like cotton balls, or if it would be as light and soft as a handful of feathers.

Taehyung laughs quietly, making a pleasant shiver run through Jungkook. His voice is so nice.

Over the next thirty minutes, Taehyung builds the intricate story of a castle in the sky, with each soft breath forging fantastic imagery, conjuring up lords and ladies and warriors and customs with honey sweet words that Jungkook is helpless to defend himself against.

… but like all kingdoms over the course of history, the destruction of our castle of clouds is inevitable. With the sun and the wind eroding its walls, it is doomed to dissipate or change so substantially that it is no longer recognizable. Maybe one day we will see it again, in the sky or in our memory. Or maybe it’ll just evaporate in the fog of our thoughts. Whatever the case, thank you for joining me this week and tune in next Saturday for a new episode. Until we meet again.

The podcast stops playing, but Jungkook continues to stare out the window, willing the vibrant images to come back. They do, but not with the same vivid detail as when Taehyung had painted them in his mind. It’s an easy decision, to download all fifty seven available episodes. The time it takes to actually download them, however, is a lot longer.

He groans as he watches the progress bar, silently thanking the universe that Yoongi and Namjoon aren’t home right now to complain about him hogging the bandwidth. Jungkook sets his phone down on the coffee table to go find something to snack on.

He feels… odd. Like, he doesn’t actively feel worried, which is very unusual.

It’s completely normal for him to feel anxious about everyday things such as driving, being indecisive about what he wants to eat, and interacting with people who aren’t his family or five best friends. But today? He’s low key getting anxious about not being anxious, which ironically alleviates some of the anxiety. It’s irrational, he knows. But who’s rational nowadays?

Jungkook is halfway through an episode of a telenovela he doesn’t understand and a carton of strawberries that Yoongi must have bought (he’ll repent for this later, no doubt, but they’re delicious and he regrets nothing) when there’s a knock at the door.

He doesn’t even have time to question it before Taehyung’s deep voice musically assures him, “It’s me. Taehyung. Anyone home?”

Pushing himself up and setting the strawberries down, Jungkook’s socked feet help him to shuffle his way to the door without too much effort. He opens it with wide, surprised eyes.

“Oh good, it’s you,” Taehyung says, laughing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno, Yoongi kind of terrifies me?”

Jungkook smiles, “He does that to a lot of people. But he’s really just a crusty marshmallow.”

Taehyung makes A Face.

“Did you just say ‘crusty marshmallow?’”

“Yeah, kinda hard and lumpy and burnt on the outside, but soft on the inside.”

“So you mean a burnt marshmallow.”

“Do I?”

“Do you?”

They pause, staring at each other with comically wide eyes before sharing a round of giggles. Taehyung continues, “Okay you can describe him however you want but please don’t ever use the word crusty in that context again.”

“Crusty. Marshmallow,” Jungkook draws out and punctuates the words, earning him a smack to his shoulder, which only causes him to laugh harder.

“Anyway, you busy? Mind if I hang out for a bit?”

“Did you get locked out again?”

“Actually no,” Taehyung takes a deep breath like he’s about to reveal some earth shattering news. “The front door was unlocked but I’m pretty sure someone’s getting fucked.”

Jungkook tries to be casual like he hadn’t just heard said earth shattering news.

“Fucked like… in a good way?”

What the hell kind of question is that?

“Actually, I couldn’t tell,” Taehyung’s nose scrunches as he obviously tries not to cringe. “Without disclosing names, there was some really weird dirty talk. But it also sounded like arguing? And they were laughing?”

Jungkook feels the heat creep onto his face, scorching the finally acne free skin there. But now? Hello, stress pimples tomorrow.

“It was Jimin, wasn’t it.”

Taehyung holds up his hands in mock surrender, looking mildly guilty as he says, “I said no names.”

Jungkook nods and steps aside to let the boy with the fiery red hair inside.

“I guess I can’t make you listen to that.” His subsequent laugh is strained, but probably only to his own ears.

“Thanks,” Taehyung sighs as he walks in and plops down on the couch. “If I feel awkward about it, I can’t imagine how you feel.”

Jungkook shrugs as he slowly lowers himself into a comfortable position on the other side of the couch, back pressed against the seat cushions, one leg crooked up, arms crossed on his tummy.

“It’s alright. He does it a lot.”

“How often is ‘a lot?’” Taehyung asks, arching an eyebrow.

“Like once or twice every month.”

“Oh.”

The only sound for a solid minute is the wailings of a distraught woman speaking rapid Spanish on the TV.

“Do you speak Spanish?”

“No. You?”

“No.”

Jungkook picks up the remote and changes the channel, pressing the button a few times before he settles on the news. They’re talking about slight chances of rain in nearby cities. It reminds Jungkook to say something.

“I listened to your podcast today.”

Taehyung’s head tilts toward Jungkook, a smile playing across his lips as he says, “Yeah? And what’d you think?”

Jungkook shrugs like he isn’t currently single handedly destroying their router to listen to other episodes of Stories in the Clouds.

“Pretty good. I might try out a few more.”

“Great! That makes me really happy,” Taehyung relaxes into a boxy smile. “It always helps to know someone’s actually listening.”

Jungkook can relate to that. He takes pictures of landscapes, sometimes objects, sells them, and never knows if the buyers actually take the time to look or if his photos just hang anonymously in dentist offices and retail employee break rooms. Of course people look at the porn, because one: it’s porn and two: Jimin’s boss keeps asking for more. In that way, Jungkook knows some of his art is being appreciated, but what about Taehyung?

“Do people ever like, leave reviews and stuff?”

“Sometimes,” Taehyung laughs lightly, a deep sound that makes Jungkook’s scalp tingle pleasantly. “Maybe once every two months. I occasionally get emails. They’re usually pretty nice.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

The woman on the TV is talking about a possible cold front, but Jungkook isn’t ready to believe her. Weather people on news networks are the reasons he has trust issues. Not really. They’re actually the only people he sees (or listens to) on a regular basis that he tends not to trust. And with that he runs out of things to readily distract himself.

The silence feels a little heavier than last time, but Jungkook highly doubts it’s Taehyung’s fault. It’s likely the circumstances he brought with him. It’s at this point he’s grateful he can’t hear Jimin and whatever person with whom he’s messing around. Despite the relatively thin walls within the apartment, the insulation is great between floors. Jungkook takes a deep breath, then lets it out as a long sigh.

“Are you gonna fuck Jimin?”

The question is abruptly out in the room like a dildo found on a bathroom counter.

Taehyung’s first response is apparently to burst out laughing, which is both an expected and unexpected reaction to something so straightforward. It’s a full body laugh, one that has his knees lift from the couch cushions and has his hands clapping.

“What?”

Jungkook can feel the blush creep up on his cheeks again, “I, ah, I mean like… are you attracted to him?”

Taehyung takes a couple breaths before his laughter peters out to the point where he can talk coherently. He then reaches over and places a large, pleasantly warm hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Dude, it would be totally uncool of me to fuck Jimin if I know you like him.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed that he didn’t answer the refined question.

There’s a small lump forming in Jungkook’s throat, making it hard to speak as the other boy’s hand is withdrawn, “But… is that like, the only reason you’d say no?”

“Okay before I answer that, let me ask you this,” Taehyung pauses here, and Jungkook isn’t sure whether or not he’s doing it to purposefully make Jungkook’s whole body feel like a compressed spring. “Do you do this because you enjoy emotionally abusing yourself?”

His expression must obviously read as confused because Taehyung explains after a moment, “Like asking about Jimin and taking his pictures.”

Jungkook’s reply is hesitant, but completely honest, “I don’t know.”

“Well maybe this isn’t my place—”

“It probably isn’t,” Jungkook murmurs, but the comment is a lot less derisive than he intended it to be. It makes him sound like exactly what he is, a sad lonely boy.

Taehyung continues, unfazed, “But I don’t think doing this to yourself is healthy.”

Jungkook’s first reaction is to get defensive because what does Taehyung know about his life? About his relationship with Jimin? He does manage to remain vaguely respectful because of the nagging feeling of “this isn’t Taehyung’s fault,” and only the slightest bit of aggression seeps through his tone.

“What are you saying? That you don’t think I should help Jimin with his shoots anymore?”

“That’s up to you,” Taehyung appears to stay completely calm, which sort of gets on Jungkook’s nerves more than the words themselves. “I’m just saying you have a choice.”

“A choice?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to work with him. He can find someone else.”

Jungkook has to fight the petulant jealousy that starts pressing on his chest.

“We work well together. And I keep things professional.”

“Feelings aren’t professional, Kook,” Taehyung’s voice drops a note or two lower, becoming softer, almost a warning.

“So now you’re saying I can’t have emotions-?”

“That’s not what I meant.” He pauses, likely to rethink his words. “What I wanted to say is, you can’t control your feelings, no matter how much they pay you or how good something looks on your resumé or in your portfolio. Feelings don’t follow rules.”

Jungkook bites back the retort he wants to make about how the hell Taehyung would know. But he’s right, no matter how much Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it.

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” Jungkook knows his ‘reason’ is a weak excuse before it even leaves his lips. He’s regressing. He can tell, and the pressure increases. “He’s my friend and I need the experience. I can bottle up feelings.”

“Sure you can. But for how long?”

“Forever.”

Now he just sounds like an angsty teenager again and he hates it.

Taehyung’s expression is sympathetic, “You and I both know you can’t. You’re breaking.”

“That’s a stupid cliche.”

Taehyung talks right over him, “You can see it, your friends can see it, even I can see it. What does that say?”

“What the fuck do you know?” The defensiveness starts to press harder, and Jungkook is so pissed off that he doesn’t even want to finish the internal metaphor about dents and shit. “You only met me like a week ago. Don’t pretend to—”

“I know you haven’t gone to the gym in over three months,” Taehyung’s soft voice is somehow more powerful than Jungkook’s raised voice. “I heard Jin talking to Hobi about it. I know you get lost in your thoughts or try to block them out by watching trash TV in languages you don’t even understand. And I definitely know how you look so fucking sad when you talk to Jimin.”

“Shut the hell up.”

It’s not even an exclamation. If it was, Jungkook is sure his voice would have cracked.

“What I’m trying to say is it does matter. It matters to your friends and it should absolutely matter to you. You can’t just keep pushing this aside and abusing yourself.”

Jungkook remains silent, not knowing what to say.

So Taehyung continues, a little quieter, “We care about you, Kook. Myself included, even if we did only meet a week ago. And… and if you don’t start fixing things to help yourself, then fix things before they start hurting Jimin too.”

It’s a twisted line of thinking, but it’s not meant maliciously. Jungkook can tell Taehyung isn’t favoring Jimin. In fact, he’s pandering to Jungkoook’s feelings for him. The worst part? It’s working. Jungkook can feel himself start to collapse inward like a crushed soda can, the facade of anger melting into what he really feels, pain.

“Trust me. I understand when you like someone so much that you’d do anything to make them happy— drive hours, spend thousands, throw yourself off a cliff if it would make them smile,” Taehyung says, letting out a soft, nervously macabre chuckle.

Jungkook continues to remain silent.

“I understand… when every breath you take makes it feel like your heart is going to explode and everything you see you associate with them and there’s nothing that feels good or healthy about it anymore but you can’t help it because you love them.”

Because you love them. Because Jungkook loves Jimin. He’d never dared to even think the words before, but he does and he knows it. Has probably known for a while. He’s so in love with a boy who won’t ever love him back.

Jungkook has never been a loud or dramatic crier, so it takes Taehyung a few seconds to notice the change in his body language. Or maybe he notices and just doesn’t want to bring attention to it. After all, he goes quiet and simply reaches over to give Jungkook’s hand a gentle but firm squeeze as the hot tears collect in his eyes. He won’t be weak like this. Never again.

One shaky breath later and he’s able to nod, voice cracking, “Yeah. That sums it up.”

Maybe it wasn’t just that Taehyung’s words were novel worthy— either spoken from experience or due to the fact that he’s a natural storyteller. Rather, maybe they not only opened the door to the closeted thoughts and emotions Jungkook has been repressing, but also dragged them into the light, shook them out, and then beat them like a dusty old rug. Maybe both, but Jungkook feels vulnerable. So painfully vulnerable because this stranger knows all of his secrets.

Taehyung slowly scoots over and wraps an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders, drawing him close in what’s probably meant to be a comforting gesture. The angle is awkward, but Jungkook appreciates the sentiment.

Okay, maybe Taehyung isn’t a “stranger.”

“I wish I had a solution for you, Kook. I really do. But all I can offer is to support you how you feel supported.”

“I’ll let you know when I figure out how that works.” His reply is slightly facetious, but after a pause, he adds a genuine, “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

The boy with the fiery red hair held up by a faded navy blue bandana gives Jungkook’s upper arm a soft pat as the latter drags his shirt collar over his eyes, wiping away any evidence of those despicable tears.

The news has moved on from weather to traffic.

Taehyung clears his throat.

“Oh, and my answer from earlier…? No. You aren’t the only reason I wouldn’t fuck Jimin.”

If Jungkook had looked down at his phone in that moment, he would’ve seen the notification telling him that the podcasts had finished downloading.

Jimin watches curiously as Hoseok takes a seat across from him at the small dining room table. He arches an eyebrow, smiling over his bowl of soup (courtesy of one lovely, angelic Kim Seokjin). Hoseok’s hair is still messy from a couple hours earlier (courtesy of one not so angelic Park Jimin), but he now has sweatpants on, hanging low on his hips like some stupidly handsome character out of one of Seokjin’s fanfictions.

“Sometimes it really sucks that you’re straight,” Jimin teases after a beat of silence, knowing full well that this is a conversation they’ve had multiple times. It just never ceases to amuse him.

“Why?” Hoseok asks as he peels a banana halfway.

“Because you’re hot and it’s annoying that I have to wait for you to be like, spontaneously horny.”

“I think I’m worth waiting for,” Hoseok winks, then purposefully sensuously bites into his banana.

Jimin wrinkles his nose, holding back a laugh, “Can you not wink at me while you’re eating that?”

“You mean like this?” Hoseok does it again, this time in dramatic slow motion.

Despite their little hiccup during sex, as Jimin decides holding back his laughter isn’t worth it, he can’t help but be glad he has a roller-coaster relationship with Hoseok. They get thrown for a loop sometimes sure, but at the end of the day, it’s fun, gets his adrenaline pumping, and always has him looking forward to riding again (sometimes literally). Even better, Hoseok helps Jimin feel relaxed, happy, and like he isn’t disgusting, isn’t alone.

About halfway through the giggle fueled impromptu banana blowjob, Seokjin comes through the door and looks like he’s about to walk right back out. Thankfully he doesn’t.

“Should I ask what’s going on here?”

Jimin smiles innocently, “Not if you don’t want to.”

Seokjin pauses as if he’s contemplating, then shakes his head and bends down to untie his shoes.

“How was training?” Hoseok asks first.

“It was alright. Nothing too exciting.” Seokjin pulls both lips between his teeth for a moment, a blush dusting his cheeks. “Namjoon texted me though.”

“He did?” It’s Jimin who pipes up this time, almost spilling a spoonful of his soup.

“It wasn’t anything important. He just asked if I wanted to go to dinner-”

“What?” both Hoseok and Jimin squeal.

“No, no,” Seokjin shakes his head as he slumps down at the table. “Not like that. He asked if I wanted to go with him and Yoongi.”

Hoseok seems to deflate a little, but Jimin prompts, “And you said?”

“No.”

“Why?” Hoseok almost scoffs.

Jimin smacks his forehead, regretting it when one of his rings makes contact with the sensitive skin. He probably deserves that.

Seokjin shrugs, rubbing at the back of his neck as if trying to alleviate tension from sitting at a desk all day behind a computer. His voice is small, “I had my training and they’ve been out for like an hour now.”

“Go to them oh my god,” Hoseok huffs and throws his hands up in affectionate exasperation.

“Okay I will! Just let me like, take a breath,” Seokjin says, almost a sigh as his head lolls to rest against the back of the chair. “I’ve had a long day.”

The silent tension Seokjin used to incite that originally followed a hookup between Hoseok and Jimin is now completely absent. It’s not so much a guilty secret anymore as a simple reality they don’t talk about. They continue with brief conversational pleasantries until the eldest boy asks, “Where’s Taehyung?”

“Hot-Taehyung?”

“Hobi, there is no other Taehyung.”

“I’m just clarifying. Gosh.”

Jimin giggles, “I dunno. Last I heard he was doing his podcast.”

Seokjin’s eyebrows pinch, a small crease forming between them.

“But that was supposed to end hours ago.”

“Oh,” Jimin purses his lips, trying not to feel guilty. “Then I have no idea.”

“What great friends you guys are,” Seokjin retorts with less bite than the words suggest, fishing out his phone. He taps a few keys, then sets the device down. “What if he was locked out again or something?”

Hoseok shrugs, “The door wasn’t locked, so…”

“It wasn’t?” Jimin has to consciously keep his eyes from bugging in surprise.

“No?” Hoseok glances over, head tilting subtly in obvious confusion.

Jimin isn’t sure whether he’s doing a bad job at communicating urgency in his gaze or whether Hoseok is just being terrible at picking it up. Alternately, as a possible third option, maybe Hoseok isn’t as (ashamed or) afraid of people finding out that they’re fucking as Jimin first thought he might be. Could Jimin be the only one concerned about it? Had he simply assumed and projected the same sentiment onto Hoseok? But why would Jimin be afraid of someone finding out?

Seokjin looks between both boys, ping ponging between a nonexistent silent conversation because really, Jimin is sure they’re both internally monologuing.

“What’s up with you two?” Seokjin asks after a few solid seconds of silence. Before either boy can answer, his phone pings and he picks it up, informing everyone, “He’s at Kook’s place.”

“Well great now that that’s established, go to your not-boyfriend,” Jimin offers with a teasing giggle.

Hoseok catches on immediately, playing along, but likely for entirely different reasons, “He’s probably really bummed and will be super surprised when you show up on your white horse in shining armor.”

“I have neither armor nor a horse.”

“Details,” Jimin waves off Seokjin’s concern with a flap of his hand.

“Okay, I’ll go,” Seokjin pushes himself up with what looks like a mix of annoyance, excitement, and willpower actively fighting exhaustion. “But don’t burn the house down while I’m gone please.”

“Why do you think we’d burn-?”

Hoseok doesn’t finish the sentence, instead smothering a laugh at the look Seokjin gives him.

“Have fun,” Jimin gives the eldest boy a bright smile, genuinely wishing him well. He’s pretty sure everyone knows about Seokjin’s giant crush on Namjoon except for Namjoon himself. It’s almost physically painful to watch. And listen to. But that’s what friends are for right? Listening to constant pining and deciphering not-at-all-coded text messages.

The most frustrating part is the fact that no one seems to know how Namjoon feels.

“Goodbye my beautiful gay son,” Hoseok pretends to dab at tears under his eyes. “Enjoy yourself and use condoms.”

“Hobi, I am older than you.”

It takes a bit of shoving (plus tripping over and into shoes) to get him back out the door and yeah, Jimin feels a little sorry for him. The poor guy seems exhausted. Anyone would be after a full day and a half of work. That, and it can’t be easy to be around one’s crush whose feelings may or may not be reciprocated while feeling so tired.

“He’s gonna be okay right?” Jimin whispers, watching from the doorway as Seokjin trudges down the hall and jabs at the elevator call button.

“Course,” Hoseok says with a nod in agreement. “They’re just hanging out.”

“Who knows? Maybe something good will happen, right?”

“Right.”

Thus naturally, when Seokjin comes home two hours later with red eyes, blotchy skin, and uneven breathing, both Hoseok and Jimin immediately jump off of the couch where they had been watching anime to ask what’s wrong. Instead of giving them a clear answer, Seokjin pushes past them and locks himself in his room without a word.

Both boys take turns attempting to comfort him. Jimin goes and knocks, offers water, and reminds Seokjin that he’s “there if you need someone to talk to.” Hoseok knocks once too, but then resorts to texting, to which Seokjin doesn’t reply either.

Jimin would be worried if he hadn’t known the guy for years. Seokjin just needs time to process, that’s all. Time to process, and room to breathe. He’s probably playing with his sugar gliders. Knowing this doesn’t mean he isn’t concerned though, and Jimin is at the ready with whatever his friend might need. Ice cream? Water? A shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? Jimin will be there.

Yoongi once told him that he overdoes the whole “comfort” thing, but Jimin would rather be over prepared than have someone hurting. Maybe it’s because he’s a good friend; or maybe it’s because he wishes someone would do the same for him, would see the hurt he tries to hide behind numerous smiles and giggles.

He’s surprised about an hour later when the first thing Seokjin replies to is the group chat.

Generic BEST Friends:

Yoongi: [10:45 pm]

Namjoon did you wash the dishes

Namjoon: [10:46 pm]

Yes, why?

Yoongi: [10:46 pm]

There’s this nasty residue on half of them

Wtf did you do

Namjoon: [10:46 pm]

I washed them with the new soap you left by the sink

Yoongi: [10:47 pm]

Joon

That’s fucking hand lotion

Namjoon: [10:47 pm]

WHY IS THERE LOTION BY THE SINK

Yoongi: [10:48 pm]

KOOK’S HANDS GET DRY

Jungkook: [10:49 pm]

Aren’t you guys like in the same house?

Y r u texting?

Yoongi: [10:50 pm]

Ur in the same house with us

Dumbass

Jungkook: [10:50 pm]

But I have a guest! lol

Seokjin: [10:51 pm]

Tae’s still over there?

Jungkook: [10:51 pm]

Ye. He says hi

Jungkook: [10:52 pm]

Hiiiiiii Jinnnnn~ -Taetae

Yoongi: [10:52 pm]

Guess who gets to rewash the dishes

Seokjin: [10:52 pm]

Hi Taetae

Namjoon: [10:52 pm]

Jin

Namjoon: [10:55 pm]

Jin? Why didn’t you pick up when I called?

Yoongi: [10:57 pm]

The answer is me

Namjoon: [11:31 pm]

Seokjin answer your phone

Namjoon: [11:32 pm]

Please?

Relief floods through Jimin when he gets up to investigate the sound of a door opening and sees it’s Seokjin’s. Yes, the older boy manages to get in the bathroom before Jimin can stop him, but that doesn’t mean the latter can’t lean up against the wall and wait for him to come out. It doesn’t take that long either.

Seokjin visibly startles as he opens the bathroom door, pressing a hand over his heart, “Jimin, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” he tries for a laugh but it sounds tense, or maybe nervous. “I didn’t mean to be creepy, I just wanted to catch you before you locked yourself back in your room.”

Seokjin’s laugh manages to sound more natural, but there’s still a hollowness behind it, especially as he replies, “Well standing in the dark outside of the bathroom didn’t really help your ‘not creepy’ case.”

The younger boy quietly apologizes again before straightening up and crossing his arms, “So, you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Playing coy is for immature people.”

“You do it all the time.”

“Yeah exactly.”

Seokjin laughs again, this time, it’s genuine even if it fades rather quickly into his response, “Okay, no. I don’t really want to talk about it. But thank you for being concerned.”

“Of course, I just need to know if I gotta beat anyone up.”

“Jimin, you’re a small mochi.”

“But I have muscles— don’t distract me,” he says, taking a deep breath. “Are you okay? Like, obviously not but…”

Seokjin reaches out and puts a hand on Jimin’s upper arm before promptly dropping it again.

“You don’t need to murder, maim, or lecture anyone. Don’t worry. Nothing happened.”

“But if nothing happened, why are you upset?”

The older of the two reaches up, brushing the hair out of his eyes with fingers that tug at the strands like he’s trying to forcefully evict a memory. His voice is soft, “Because nothing happened. We were talking and I said one of my cleverest jokes ever and Yoongi was all grumpy about it so I told him he needed to get laid and he was like ‘fuck yeah’ and I was like ‘same’ and do you know what Namjoon said?”

“What?”

“He didn’t say anything. He just sat there and kept eating. Didn’t even look up.”

Jimin wants to smack himself in the forehead, but he learned the first time that rings hurt, so he settles with pinching the bridge of his nose, “Okay I don’t want to seem like I’m belittling your problems-”

“I feel a ‘but’ coming.”

“�� because your feelings are absolutely valid; but Jin, just because he didn’t jump at the opportunity to stick his dick in you doesn’t mean he isn’t interested.”

“But he’s never interested,” Seokjin laments. “I keep casting out lines and he just swims right past the hook.”

“You’re using boat metaphors again.”

“Sorry I regress to maritime metaphors when I’m upset.”

“It’s okay, breathe,” Jimin says, taking both of Seokjin’s larger hands in his, hoping to give him something to… anchor onto. Damn those boat metaphors.

“Breathing,” he confirms, despite his voice sounding thick.

Jimin gives his hands a gentle squeeze.

“Three things. One, maybe Namjoon isn’t into casual hookups with friends. Two, maybe he’s just like, really oblivious. Three, there are endless other possibilities and we don’t know how well you’re reading the situation.”

“True,” Seokjin says as he takes a shaky breath.

“So why don’t you just talk to him? Even if it’s not an epic anime— sorry, wrong audience,” Jimin briefly pauses to correct himself. “Even if it’s not an epic dubcon fanfic confession, I think you should still talk.”

“Not to burst your bubble, but there aren’t usually a lot of confessions in abo fics-?”

“Abo?”

“Alpha beta omega.”

Reading. Loading. Failure.

Rebooting.

“You get the point,” Jimin sighs, scrunching his nose and releasing Seokjin’s hands. “Get on the same page. Or… ugh… be in the same boat.”

“Oh good, now that you’ve used a boat idiom I’ve gained all the courage I need.”

“Don’t be sassy with me.”

“You’re sassy with me all the time.”

“Yeah but I’m younger.”

“And I’m older, so you should respect me.”

Jimin is on the verge of laughing. That’s one of the great and terrible things about Kim Seokjin. He always knows how to lighten the mood, but often at the expense of his own plot and character development. Thus, Jimin back tracks a bit.

“Promise me that you’ll talk to him.”

“Okay fine,” Seokjin huffs, shoulders as wide as the goddamn ocean (fucking hyperbolically accurate boat simile) slumping a little. “I’ll talk to him.”

“And I mean soon, not like a month from now.”

“Okay, I will not wait until a month from now.”

“To clarify, not any longer than a month from now, not like two months or a year or whatever.”

“Okay, I will not wait—”

“Actually, this week. Tomorrow would be even better.”

Seokjin pouts, “You’re making too many demands for my poor, gay broken-heart.”

“No excuses.”

“Fine.”

Namjoon cleans when he’s stressed, not because of a need for neatness or organization, but rather a need for control. This much Jungkook has noticed after living with him for so long. But a cleaning Namjoon is usually followed closely behind by a disgruntled Yoongi, who has to clean up further messes in the former’s wake.

Jungkook hasn’t heard much about what caused this round of stress induced, frantic cleaning, but he does know that it has something to do with three of his friends going out to dinner. And from the group chat? It appears something maybe went wrong between Namjoon and Seokjin.

The younger of the two is currently wreaking havoc in the bathroom, scrubbing at the tub with an abrasive sponge. Yoongi, who is probably still fixing the whole “lotion is not dish soap” situation, is blissfully unaware. Namjoon had been dusting and sweeping earlier, which seemed pretty harmless and is why everyone had left him alone, but he’s starting to get back into dangerous territory.

Taehyung and Jungkook exchange a glance as they stand in the bathroom doorway.

“You can keep watching the show if you want. I’ll… yeah,” Jungkook says, rubbing the back of his neck, watching his friend scrub at a stain that probably wouldn’t come out even if they set the whole house on fire.

“You sure?”

Jungkook nods and Taehyung pats him on the shoulder, a silent “good luck.” He’ll probably need it. Taking a deep breath, Jungkook waits until his bedroom door closes before walking over to the bathtub and kneeling beside Namjoon.

He tries to keep his voice gentle, but humorous, “Yoongi’s gonna kill you if you scratch the porcelain.”

The older boy lets out a throaty sound of distress, “But, but I need to clean it. When was the last time anyone actually came in here with a sponge, Kook? Like what if there’s billions of billions of little bacteria-?”

Gentle and humorous part two. “Just tell me what’s wrong before we have to pay for damage.”

Namjoon, looking so pathetically vexed that Jungkook almost pulls him into a hug, sits back on his heels with a long sigh, “I don’t even know what’s wrong. He won’t talk to me.”

“Jin?”

“Yeah. He just got up and left and said ‘I’m fine’ when I called after him but really even I could tell he wasn’t fine and he didn’t answer his phone and no one’s telling me anything and now he won’t talk to me and I don’t know what to do and the bathroom needs to be cleaned.”

When Namjoon gets stressed, he also starts using run on sentences. It’s odd, considering he’s usually so well versed with a wide vocabulary and knack for complex grammatical terms.

“That really sucks,” Jungkook says, puffing out his cheeks as he exhales slowly through pursed lips. Yeah, he’s severely lacking in the “comforting people” department too, but he’s pretty sure his fumbling comment is preferable to “rub some dirt in it and write another poem” from Yoongi. Jungkook continues, inadvertently taking a “be supportive” page from Taehyung’s book, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Namjoon pulls off his rubber kitchen gloves and tosses them onto the rim of the bath tub, sitting back with his knees up, arms around them, and feet planted. He looks lost.

“If you can somehow get him to just… text me or call me or something, that’d be great.”

His tone suggests that he does not, in fact, think Jungkook can do this, which leaves both boys surprised when Namjoon’s phone rings. Jungkook doesn’t know what to expect. If this were a romantic comedy, it would be Seokjin. Or maybe, simply because that trope has been used so many times, it wouldn’t be Seokjin just to give the story humorous false hope and not use cliches, which itself has become cliche. So really, anything’s possible, which leaves Jungkook a little disappointed when Namjoon answers the phone with:

“What? I’m busy right now. No, I’m not in the office.”

Jungkook stays in the bathroom, joining Namjoon by sitting on the floor instead of kneeling on his aching knees. He listens to the one sided conversation for a minute or two before there’s a knock on the door frame. Looking up, he finds Taehyung standing there with his phone.

“Jin just called you. I figured you might want to know.”

Jungkook scrambles to get to his feet, only slipping on the sleek tile once before getting upright and taking the device. He thanks Taehyung before redialing with a slide of his finger. The phone rings once, twice, then Jungkook’s ear is bombarded with, “Eomuk, you are not allowed in that drawer-! Hey Kook. Sorry. I— give me a sec.”

There’s a bit of rustling on the other end of the line.

“Okay sorry, he’s back in his cage. Is, ah… Is Namjoon there? I called, and it went straight to voicemail.”

Jungkook’s eyes dart from Namjoon’s expression to the phone in his hand.

“Yeah. He’s here, but he’s currently on a business call? Should I tell him to call you b-?”

“No! No,” Namjoon throws his own phone aside so dramatically that when it clatters onto the tile floor Jungkook winces. “I’m free. Here.”

He extends his hand and Jungkook, in the heat of the moment, doesn’t think twice about handing over his phone. He will regret it five minutes later when he’s still standing there awkwardly, staring at Namjoon as he talks. It’ll be at the ten minute mark that he decides to leave the bathroom, going back to his own bedroom to finish the movie he’d been watching with Taehyung. In fact, he won’t see his phone for an additional thirty minutes at which point Namjoon will return it and cause him to wonder why all interesting things in his life seem to happen in, near, or because of a bathroom lately.

But for now? Jungkook feels a little bit of pressure lift off of his chest as Namjoon smiles, relief washing through his voice as he talks to Seokjin.

[Next Part]

✩✩✩♔✩✩✩

Send me your thoughts here. Or just come say hi ;) feedback is appreciated

Support me/Donate and get some super rad 😎 rewards

Thanks for reading! Much love ~🐰 xx

#bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jimin smut #hoseok smut #jihope smut #jimin fanfic #jikook #taehyung fanfic #bts au #RED

38 notes · View notes

mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 3 years ago

Text

My Thoughts On The Youtuber Channel “Little Light Studios”

first of all, I had to take some nice breathes in and out, to try to calm myself.

because frankly, after discovering about them, and their view on Anime...

I was pretty much peeved.

first time I found out about them about well a little bit ago,

I wanted to just look up something to listen to, like songs from Sailor Moon.

but then I saw a video that talks about how another Channel has some misinterpretation about cartoons/anime.

I had to look up the name of the video that has to do with “Anime Exposed”

to find the channel responsible.

let me say this, there are different anime in the world,

not all of them will be for kids, and it is the parents (no matter if they are a dad & mom, two mothers or two fathers or even a renny & mom or dad & renny)

responsibility to make sure that the little kids DO NOT watch some anime that is not meant for them, not until they are in the proper age to watch it.

and if I had to guess, not all humans know that the whole “star” thing

it’s called a pentagram right? it’s original meaning was of course demonetize.

but that can not be helped.

you know what is like to be hurt by a toxic religious person..?

I had been hurt by a toxic religious person before,

just because I believe in Mother as well, don’t mean they make me feel bad,

I mean I still believe in God and even Jesus.

but that Toxic Religious person I encountered a few years ago,

had no right to make me feel bad about me believing in a Goddess too,

and I’m pretty sure I did mention my gender identity as well that time.

like I said before, I still kinda still see myself as my biological-sex/gender,

but I also see myself as non-binary too.

that person had no right to misuse those words at me,

saying “may the lord have mercy on you” or it might of been “may god have mercy on you.”

I even pointed out how bad it was making me feel, and what did they do...?

they kept saying it to me again, they were making me feel really bad, hurt my feelings and making me cry, and did they care...?

if you guessed “No They Did Not”, then you will be correct.

I had to block them because of it.

also I didn’t watch the full video that talks about how wrong the source of the bad mouthing anime, because I had to look up the source, and from what I can tell.....they are toxic...

I had a really bad experience with a toxic religious person...

I don’t mind if a friend is religious or even atheist.

and I don’t believe you should force a religion to someone,

it should be of his or her or their free will to convert.

and the whole Virgin May being 12 To 14 Years Old when she had Jesus,

is obliviously a lie that HUMANS wrote.

she was 16 years old, and yes I used my pendulum to ask that question.

the one I was trying to get that very answer from, well I was trying to ask Azriel.

even if he might end up pulling a prank on me, at least it wouldn’t be a mean one, like a certain Angel, who I trusted on March, but now he has a restraining order on him, he can still help other people, but he is NOT to get too close to me......

even if I can still trust Angels, I want to remain causation around those who would try to hurt me “to make me better”

even if Angels (well Full Angels, who aren’t Earth Angels and made up both a Angel & Human Soul) are suppose to be like Good...

there is somethings that Angels should make sure to do,

and that is not cause emotional harm or let emotional harm befall someone too many times after they had gotten better from another bad feeling.

I don’t believe that Angels should just ignore this very important thing,

yes there are duties can be important, but you can not neglect the emotion of the heart/soul of the very beings you are trying to help.

or let some Youtube Channel like “Little Light Studios”

just assume things about Anime.

perhaps once I do cool down a little more, I will try to fully watch that video, where they will possibly bad mouth Anime....

I am a bit more fine than I was starting to feel when I found out about that channel.

it’s no wonder I am Semi-Misanthrope.

at least not all religious people are like that, and don’t take some Anime or Cartoons the wrong way.

another thing that humans should know, is that before Anime....

that disgusting stuff that was mention, was around even before technology.

and humans should not place the blame unless it is something like a certain Movie that one of the heads of Netflix refuse to get it off there, because of the age of the main character of the said movie, and even if I haven’t watched it,

just looking up the info on it, tells me how sick and filthy the man is who refuses to make it go away....

also because of a animated story on Youtube I had watched before,

that has to do with what happen to a girl, and how her mother had to take care of the new baby, and had to wait to tell the said baby girl the truth of what went down.....

I wanted to pray a blessing of protection for all the children who suffer from what that girl did....

even if it might seem mean and might be a bit cruel to some humans....

but hoping those who even try anything, will get a bad tummy ache and a headache, so they wont be able to do anything really bad, is best than hoping worse for them....even if ya might have those thoughts just a little bit, ya try to bury them deep deep DEEP down....

I do hope that maybe other people will pray for a blessing of protection for children too, there was more to what I was asking for, but I rather not say what it is....

but even if there are good people in religion,

there have been some really bad people in it,

that have done unforgivable stuff.

most of them being Priests, who are equally as bad as some Scoutmasters and those who work under them...

maybe I should try to do some meditation after I play my Xbox,

it might help...maybe...?

I know there can be different levels of toxic-religious people,

if someone is semi-toxic religious, then it means they aren’t as bad as the full kind of toxic religious person.

I know I can’t tell my family that I’m not Christian, after discovering that.

it turns out I am both a Ma-Acolyte & Neo-Christian.

I can’t tell my family I am Ficto-Aroaceflux (or just Aroaceflux for short)

I did try to tell my Mom, well first I wanted to hear her thoughts on Asexuals.

but she misunderstand that all Asexuals are Gay,

not like there is anything wrong with that.

but all Aces are different, some will have a double sexual/romantic identity.

like some who are Aces, will be either Biromantic or Panromantic or even Omniromantic....or will just be Ace or Aceflux or Aroace or Aroaceflux.

plus I had discovered that my species identity is Demi-Human.

anyway I did want to tell my Mom, that I am Asexual Flux...

but her view and misunderstanding about all Asexuals being Gay,

and I know the bad view of those who are....

another thing to know is that even someone who is Ace,

can be Heteroromantic, I guess it would be like Heteroromantic-Ace...?

I know there is that whole toxic view thing, sometimes when you are a kid

you grow-up believe it to be true, until you start to learn and see the view you were told was wrong, was something that was not really wrong at all.

but sometimes, you can’t tell your family they are wrong, because you become scared of them hating you or giving you disapproval if you try to come out of the Ace Closet.

I am in the Ace Closet, and can only be open about it online.

I did try to come out of the Ace Closet, to try to tell family,

but because of the obvious disapproval, I had to hide the fact that I am Asexual

and try to drop it.

I even had to hide in my room, where I had cried.

my feelings were hurt, I was lucky I didn’t end up crying in the room where I was trying to ask my Mom about her thoughts about Asexuality.

I can’t ever EVER tell my family that I am Aroaceflux, or about my new religious belief or my gender identity or my newly discovered species identity.

I know that they wouldn’t approve.

I was curious, so I decided to ask if Solomon approves of my identities

(as in the whole Gender, Species and Aroaceflux Identity.)

well according to my pendulum, he doesn’t.

well he ain’t the boss of me, well I might technically be his daughter,

like any other of his descendants....

but he misused his power, just like his dad....

and when I say “daughter” I mean being his Descendant Granddaughter.

when I was watching a Anime, I started to really think about the meaning of Grandparents and Grandchildren.

your Grandparents, are still in a way, a Parent to you, even if they didn’t bring you into the world, they are still technically your Parents too, and so are your Ancestors, just in a different way from the ones who brought you into world,

and or who adopted you.

Solomon is a Butt, just because he is my Ancestor-Grandfather,

don’t mean I can’t see him as being a butt...

I can’t help but wonder if his actions will affect his own descendants...

which sadly I am one of them, and if I was allowed and able to...

I would kick his sorry butt...

the only good thing about being his Descendant-Daughter,

is that I will NEVER take the throne, and after the stuff that went on before...

I rather never have anything to do with taking the throne, and be happy to be biologically female, so being his descendant, being born biologically female is in a way, a super blessing.

I’m pretty sure some info I had heard about before,

is that it is only the MALE descendants can take the throne,

but it can’t be the descendants of Solomon.

Best. News. Ever....of All Time.

after talking about Solomon (and possibly the other stuff before him.)

I had the need to listen to Lily Allen’s Song F**k You.

maybe that tarot card reading that creepily did mention about Gemini having Royalty in The DNA, was right....maybe in a way I am breaking a cycle from my ancestors....them mentioning some names I know, was kind of scary.

I wish not to say the names that was mention, it was way too real there.

I wonder if it would be either funny or ironic,

that a biological female descendant of King David and Solomon,

would end up playing the song “F**k You, By Lily Allen”

Lady Godiva is the Better Ancestress.

it is just my view, not everyone has to agree about it.

but I am ashamed of those two for different reasons.

one King David, didn’t freaking punish his sicko of a son

who had hurt his own daughter, and if Grandpa King David had what we have now, he would get in big trouble for not punishing his sicko of a son.

oh and let’s not forget that he was coming on to a married woman,

who he ended up killing the husband of the said woman.

and even if Grandpa King Solomon, did end up meeting Grandma Naamah.

which I’m not really sure if it is true that Asmodeus did have a hand in it by accident that those two met....

but even after meeting Grandma Naamah, he could of just gave that ring back from where it came, the misuse of power is too great.

plus I do worry such power that he had on his person 24/7,

may have imprinted into his DNA and cause it to accidentally be inherited by his children and his children’s children and so on and so forth.

But I think I might just be a bit paranoid about that.

I got enough to worry about with the whole Asmodeus thing....

plus with the readings that the sign for Gemini keeps getting.

I should try not to worry about it, and well to be honest....

I might have had him on my mind WAY too much, maybe since 2020.

I try not to think about it too much, and try to think logically.

knowing that it has to be a trick and well maybe it is a good thing not a lot of people believe that he and some other being exist.

after listening to Lily Allen’s Song, I decided to listen to something else.

I am listening to Into The Night By Santana feat-Chad Kroeger.

I hope toxic-religious people don’t try to find something wrong with that song.

I am not having any of that.

and I sure as of a Mother of a Dastard, ain’t gonna let no toxic-religious person

say that something really bad about the Ghost Rider Movies.

(you don’t have to like the movie, but don’t dislike it because it has some stuff in it that some will view as “the work of the devil”....)

yeah it has some man in it that was suppose to be some “Devil”

that the guy who becomes the Ghost Rider, makes a deal with.

but it was so his dad would get better, but the deal had a twist.

but the power that was given to him,

turned out to be from a ANGEL who went bananas crazy.

plus the boy in the second movie who ended up being the son/vessel

of his so called “demon dad” but that doesn’t mean that the boy had to be just like him, and he did the right thing by returning the power back to the man who is known as the Ghost Rider.

I like both the first and second movie of Ghost Rider, and I hope there will be another one someday.

I should try to do some stuff to take my mind off of jerks that end up peeving me off when they are either the normal type of jerk or the toxic-religious type jerk.

sometimes those types can bring the worse out on someone.

I wasn’t even planning to talk about this stuff tonight,

I just wanted to play on my Xbox, even play more of Mass Effect,

and even watch some stuff on my Xbox as well.

I did NOT need to find out the bull that is going on with that Little Light Studios.

those who are subscribe to them,

don’t have to agree with me being disgusted by well what I had found out.

I know you can’t make everyone see reason,

if you are born into a super toxic religious family,

and you end up being well having a different sexuality or gender identity,

than what you are expected to be.

sometimes, it is safer in the closet....

even though my feelings were really hurt, when I knew I couldn’t tell my Mom about me being Ace (well Aroaceflux ) and I had to keep it a secret and keep it together and acting like nothing was wrong, then going back in my bedroom and letting myself cry.

I know others have it way worse, even if I did come out of the Ace Closet to my Mom, it is likely she might still love me but will try ways to “fix” me...

maybe try to get me dates, with some guys I don’t know and might not feel comfortable being alone with because of well, I did mention I do have

Semi-Androphobia & Virginitiphobia.

a few years ago I did have a panic attack while in the car.

it was a little dark, and I was alone and it was when we were getting ready to move to the house we live at now.

I was scared of certain stuff happening.

even during the day, I don’t like being left along in the car.

I mean I could go inside the store, but I don’t feel like doing that very much.

I think I am doing a bit better since that panic attack happen.

I think my Virginitiphobia has become a Semi-Virginitiphobia too.

so maybe it is a improvement.

and if there is some form of therapy for Virginitphobia,

even though I still have my V-Card, I know I wouldn’t want to go through Exposure Therapy for Virginitiphobia.

I don’t think I can trust that, maybe the talking it out maybe...

but that exposure therapy, I am not sure I would trust it.

even if it is true some use a virtual reality

(I tried to look up how it is done, and one of the info had something about virtual....)

I wouldn’t fully trust it.

even those who still have the V-Card and have Virginitiphobia, can still be cautious, even when it comes to therapist, who might want to use the exposure therapy.

what sucks is that some, think that type of fear is a mental illness.

anyway, I don’t think I am a very big fan of Little Light Studios.

when I can I will try to watch the full video that I had found that belongs to them, that talks about Anime.

but once again, before Anime, and even technology.

back in the stupid ages,

there were humans who have done sick and twisted stuff.

just like how Grandpa King David’s Sicko of a Son hurt Auntie Tamar.

worst daddy ever, of all time.

and Grandpa Solomon ain’t no better....

I guess maybe, I am glad I had admitted to the whole Asmodeus thing,

but I am trying to not to think about too much and try not to be tricked.

I guess some might take it really seriously or tell me I have nothing to worry about, and it will stop soon....well I am gonna hope that there is nothing to worry about and it will stop soon.

I don’t mind the fictional versions of him so much, and well I am gonna just try not to think of well ya know.

plus even if there are other Gemini who might be going through a different thing, that has to do with some guy or gal or other, who is romantically interested in them but they are trying to push that kind of persons away, because it is likely they just gonna hurt them and break their hearts.

if by chance, some of those readings do match some Geminis but not all Geminis....

I rather think that if half of those do match me, it is most likely a trick and a way for me to be tricked by Asmodeus.

the best thing I can do, is try to make sure to take my mind off of well that stuff.

and maybe check on the readings for Gemini, and hope it does show that it turns out it has been a trick the whole time and I was in the right to try to ignore it and try not to fall into a trap.

I am NOT being a Tsundere, just to be clear.

and yeah at times, he has been on my mind, I think it started sometime around 2020, and I want to try to hope for the best that it is just some form of trick and I can just try to take my mind off of it.

I can’t talk to my family about it either, I guess I could pray for some kind of sign about the whole thing...but I think I will wait until tomorrow or the day after tomorrow to ask that kind of thing.

I even started to worry that the reason no bird had moved into the bird house,

is because of Asmodeus, and I started to remember another time when I was a little girl, when we had pet birds and they died too soon.

I kind of want to hope and pray that either a crow or raven move into the bird house.

maybe I am just being paranoid about whole bird thing, I mean it takes time and I just gotta try to be patient.

I just need to try not to be tricked and I need to try not to let toxic-religious people get to me so much either.

maybe I should wait a few days or maybe a week, before I try to watch any video by Little Light Studios.

I have only known that channel for a short time, because I had only found out about them tonight....but I still don’t like it.

not all anime/cartoons will be for children,

some will be for everyone, but some will not be.

some really mature stuff, needs to be hidden away from little kids,

and try to explain to them that they are too young to see it.

and making sure to hide it really good, so they can’t find it.

oh and this is what had kind of freaked me out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb-7BO-Yjwg

it is still a good reading, but some stuff that was said, did freak me out.

I mean I am a Gemini and I am a descendant of Royalty.

but I am pretty sure there are other Geminis who saw that, who might be descendants of royalty too.

I am just gonna try to hope that reading was about a different Gemini who is a descendant of royalty.

even if they said “You Are Next In Line To The Throne.”

I don’t want it....Nope, No Thank You.

Fudge This Cheese I’m Out.

the reading was still good and interesting

(still was freaky to me because of reasons.)

but at least the person who did the reading, isn’t a bad person.

or a super toxic religious person.

I think I should try to make sure to take off my mind off of those Little Light Studios.....

even if someone does point out about some stuff on Anime,

like there are some Anime and even Cartoons,

that are not for little kids, and parents should know that fact.

and if you were a little kids when you were exposed to some mature stuff in movies, once you get older, you get the knowledge that let’s you figure out

that you were too young to watch some stuff you were not suppose to.

so you try to make sure the same mistake doesn’t happen again.

I try to keep any M Rated Video Games and Movies or Shows,

away from little cousins.

I have my reason to want to keep my guard up when it comes to both demons and angels....and I don’t just mean the fallen angels.

I’m just gonna try to take my mind off of that Youtube Channel

that peeved me off.

I at first wanted to talk about that whole Youtube Channel,

but I started to talk about some other stuff too.

like admitting about the whole Asmodeus thing, but I am doing my best to try to keep my mind on other stuff.

anyway I’m gonna just go back to what I was going before finding out about that Little Light Studios, I don’t think they would care about how they might of not only peeved me off, but others as well.

I still think it is best that I wait maybe a few days, maybe until June,

to try to fully watch their video that talks about Anime.

I love Anime, but I will try to fully watch their video, even if it might end up peeving me off.

either later or tomorrow, I will try to do some relaxing meditation while listening to music.

I’m gonna hope the next time I sign in, I can just check out some stuff on here and or work on and post the Undertale AU idea I came up with

that’s called The Journal Of Chara.

I don’t feel like trying to write the next chapter now, for obvious reasons.

another thing I should try to keep my mind off of,

is the whole Pepe Le Pew thing, of course some humans aren’t gonna mention the times he has been a victim at times, or the fact that Amy Rose or Fifi La Fume are just like him in a way.

sure Amy has gotten better, the Sonic Boom version of her and the Sonic from that series, is one of my OTP’s.

I really hope that Pepe and even Fifi, are rebooted to keep them safe.

anyway I best go before I make this any longer....

and try to keep my mind off of what I found out about, which had to do with that whole thing about “Exposing Anime.”

see ya later, stay safe and hope you all understand my feelings about all that.

the next time I sign in, I hope to just check out some stuff on here,

and post up some drawings or just write the next chapter of my AU-Story.

PS:

I want to play it safe,

so I put mature warning for one of the tags for this.

and I really will try to watch the full videos of Little Light Studios....

that talk about the Anime.

just not now, I am still peeved towards them, so it’s best that I wait until next month to try to fully watch any of their videos.

I want to try to stay away from their videos, until maybe a week or more.

#toxic religious people #so annoying #misanthropy #phobia #mature warning

0 notes

golddaggers · 7 years ago

Text

chemistry // part two

pairings: teacher!dylan o'brien x student!reader.

warnings: besides cursing? none.

a/n: look finally decided to realease chapter number two? hahaha :) plus, I’d like to announce that I will be uploading every Saturday. well, the ones I can because university is a bitch. nonetheless, proceed to your reading.

word count: 2,6k+

part one

For some weird reason I was yet to figure out, because it was a lot unlike me, I woke up in an incredible good mood. Which could totally be related to the fact that today was the first sunny morning after weeks enduring grey skies, rain, thick coats and freezing temperatures. Not that I hated all of that, except I did; it made me feel depressed. Plus my hair looked awful.

Yawning tiredly, I stretched out, sitting on my bed. While doing so, my eyes fell to Karen’s sleeping figure all curled up like a ball underneath three sets of sheets on a mattress carefully placed on my carpeted floor. She had decided to stay over the night because we still needed to go over some flash cards to our Algebra exam, that happened to be today, after my mother’s delicious dinner. I wouldn’t be the one to blame her, Louisa Smith was definitely a good cook, which means her belly was probably too full for her to find the strength to leave.

A small laugh slipped past my lips as I got back to my feet, muscles still numb for the amount of hours I stayed in the same position. Either way, I was refreshed to have had, at least once and in a long while, a decent night of sleep; also, the recently made coffee scent alongside the, very likely, scrambled eggs, homemade buns and everything a hungry person could dream about got my stomach complaining, setting my destination to the kitchen room.

The lovely forty year old woman I called mum was humming happily to a song whilst, by smell, squeezing oranges to make my favourite juice. I understood she used cooking as a self defense mechanism to keep herself together; we were still struggling with our father’s departure. It was complicated to even bring up in conversations, so, eventually, we just sort of stopped. I was pretty sure she would get over it. She was the strongest person I had ever known, of course she would.

“Good morning.” I mumbled, hugging her tightly, feeling her tummy shake as the woman laughed. “And this smells great, by the way.”

“Good morning too, sweetheart. What got you up so early?” My mum quizzed, directing me one of her best soothing smiles. “Are you nervous about the test?”

“Yes, obviously.” Rolling my eyes, a tiny smirk curled my lips as I took place at the table. “But it’s not why I’m up. I actually have no idea, but I have this feeling today is going to be great.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy, baby girl.”

“I am too, mum, these past weeks haven’t been easy, exactly…”

“Yes, I am aware of that, but you know what? We’re in a much better place now.”

“I think so too.” Supporting my elbows on the table, I watched my mother’s tired traits. “I want you to be happy too, ma.”

“I’m going to be fine!” The older woman looked away, prohibiting me from spotting her probably glassy eyes. “Now eat, before-”

A pale seventeen year old walked inside wearing a ridiculous bright red nightshirt and a sleeping mask controlling the brown mess that her hair was. She smiled kindly to both of us.

“Mrs. Smith, if you were going to say ‘eat before the eating monster arrive’, that would have been a great advice.”

The three of us shared a laugh before reuniting at the already set kitchen table, everything in place so we could eat together; Karen stole to her plate two muffins, three little breads, a couple of bacon’s slices and eggs, obviously. My mum and I just gazed at her, trying to hold our chuckles back. For someone so small, my friend definitely had a huge appetite.

Once the fun moment was over, we conducted a rather great breakfast, discussing light matters and gossiping like three old friends would do. To be honest, while we chatted, I was in awe to see that my mother was indeed improving; you could tell she had no masks on this time. No pretending nor disguising to be okay. It was purely and merely her.

Yes, this surely was a sign that a great day was ahead of me.

About twenty minutes later, Karen and I went upstairs to get ourselves ready to go to school. Because it was still a lot early, each one of us took our time to enjoy a warm bath, to pick a nice outfit, fix our hairs, etc, etc. Standard girl stuff, I guess.

“So,” The brown haired girl questioned, brushing her hair and locking it up in a tight pony tail. “You haven’t mentioned your date with Mr. McHottie a single time. Aren’t you going to go?”

“It’s not a date!” I whined, putting on a colourful sundress that fell to the mid of my thighs. Her green eyes glanced at me in disbelief, a smug grin taking over her heart shaped face. “It’s not! This is a class. Strictly professional.”

“Yeah… I just don’t buy it.” Scoffing, she stood and straightened her grey skirt, which matched perfectly her white buttoned blouse, the blue cardigan and also her heels. “You wouldn’t be dressing so nicely if the inner you didn’t think this is more than a casual lecture.”

“You are crazy, Karen.” Shaking my head, I slipped in my normal tennis shoes and put on a jeans jacket, grabbing my already fixed backpack that was placed near my closet’s door. “Can I just be in a good mood for once? Not everything has to be about men, you know.”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything, I’m just mentioning I’m happy. That’s all. And that it has nothing to do with Mr. O'Brien.”

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t push it.” Karen sighed, collecting her bag as well. “But, seriously, who are you denying this for? Me or you?”

The girl left without giving me time to even come up with a proper answer. Of course she had point; Karen knew very well I had had a crush on him a while back, in the tenth grade. But it was over, I was just kid. Furthermore, I highly doubted Mr. O'Brien would even think about the possibility of being with student; he was way too professional for that to happen. Like, friends, I guess, but dating? Not in million years.

A final exhale escaped as I made my way downstairs; I sure as hell needn’t to convince anyone, nor myself, that nothing was happening, because, well, nothing was happening. He was just being nice. That’s all.

“What took you so long, darling?” My mother questioned as soon as I took my place on the front seat, putting my bag on my lap as I fastened my seat belt. “You look pale too.”

“I’m fine, I swear.” Gazing through the corner of my eye to the back row, I saw Karen shake her head, frowning at my response. “By the way, I might be running late today.”

“Why so?”

“Uh, my chemistry teacher, Mr. O'Brien, offered to help me catch up on the subject. He said I have been off lately.”

“Isn’t Mr. O'Brien the hot one?”

My cheeks quickly reached a scarlet tone as my eyes grew wide to her last sentence. Since when does my mother notice if people are hot or not? I was clearly shocked, yet, Williams broke the tension with a laugh, getting mum to do the same.

“Mum!”

“Just commenting, silly girl. You should see your face.” She stopped under a red sign, looking at me tenderly. “If he says so, I’m okay. Just don’t be so late, alright?”

“Got it.”

Connecting the white earbuds to my phone, I opened the Spotify app and swiftly drowned myself on Sofia Karlberg’s version of the song ‘Toxic’, wishing nothing but to distract myself of all the things that could lead me into thinking of my encounter later with a certain chemistry teacher.

As it turns out, the whole putting out of my mind my own human personification of a Greek God was incredibly hard. I mean, I tried, I really did, but his sinful honey eyes kept haunting me the entire course of my classes. Seriously, why couldn’t him be like my AP Calculus teacher: bald, pudgy and not at all attractive? It would make things a lot easier for me.

Biting my bottom lip to contain a frustrated sigh, I glared at Mrs. Ziemann, trying to focus on her interesting lecture about the end of World War I. She excitedly explained how wrecked both Italy and Germany were once it was over, especially the latter, with the cruel Treaty of Versailles. Oh, well, at least paying attention to that could allow me to forget I was only five minutes away from my meeting.

As the woman finished her presentation, I wrote down a few topics to look upon later when studying the subject, which I needed to do, because this good looking lady was known for her killer exams. On a side note? I may have cried myself after a couple of them.

“And this wraps up our class today.” She smiled solemnly, her pretty blue eyes locked on the back of the class where the lacrosse team was based. “Oh, wait, before you all go, I would like to inform I want, for next week, a paper on the tragic events at the end of World War I.”

This time I didn’t hold back a sigh, taking notes on my journal to do this assignment soon, for next week I also had, oh darn, a chemistry exam. Fate must really think my life is a big fat joke. That’s ought to be it.

I swiftly packed my stuff, placing a handle on my right shoulder and moving away from the class, only to find Karen leant against a wall outside, trying to look casual while chewing gum. Oh, yes, I had to solve this too.

“Please tell me you forgot about our little misunderstanding from earlier today.”

“I didn’t.” Her eyebrows were knitted together, her mouth forming a straight line. “But I’m willing to move past it if you promise to tell me the details of your “class” with Mr.McHottie.”

“You are such a gossiper!” I laughed, stopping at my locker to get my Chemistry book volume two. “I have been trying all day long to not think about it.”

“Let me guess: useless.”

“Damn right it was.”

“Well, he won’t bite you, at least.” The green eyed girl patted my back, a smirk plastered on her face. “Not unless you want to, I guess.”

“You are such a mean whore.” We both chuckled, our next stop being in front of Mr. O'Brien’s office, me knocking at the door twice. “And this is where I leave you, K.”

“Tell me the details!” She whispered, winking at me playfully. “I mean it!”

“Get out! Now!”

Williams raised her thumbs up to me, winking one last time then disappearing in the halls just before the brown haired man, also known as Greek God, also known as my chemistry teacher, opened the door. I certainly wasn’t ready to see him so loose, if that’s the correct term.

His hair was more disheveled than usual, the scruff still framing the beautiful pink lips, his white casual shirt had a button open, revealing an adorable puddle of chest hair, and his red tie was lying over his desk from what I could see. O'Brien directed me a comforting smirk, placing his rather large hand on my back, pulling me to get inside the room. One small comment so we can proceed: did he have a heater on or was it me that just suddenly grew warmer under his touch?

Gripping tighter on my hard covered book, I went forward to take seat on one of the first row’s places whilst he stayed behind to close the door. Okay, first minutes, still not weird. Maybe just a little bit. Why am I so tense?

“Are you okay, Smith?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, I’m just a little bit nervous…”

“You don’t have to be.” He smirked tenderly, pulling a chair to sit in front of me. “It’s just you and me, plus I won’t do anything to you.”

“Uh, people already think you-”

“Well, I seriously don’t mind what people think. You’re amazing, you know?” His eyes connected with mine for a while until he gazed down at his feet. “I meant as a student. That’s why I picked you to tutor.”

“Thank you, Mr. O'Brien, you are a wonderful teacher as well. I love your lectures so much!”

“That’s relieving, it would be pretty bad if my favourite student didn’t like them.” A small laugh slipped and, suddenly, all the nervousness was gone. “Should we start?”

“Yes, definitely.”

The following hour was simply incredible!

If him teaching to a whole class was good, having him as a mentor was even better. It was like he didn’t have to hold back nor maintain a straight face all the time. Plus the jokes? Damn, I could never have imagined he had such a great sense of humour. I mean, the man had gift on finding the right words to make me laugh like there was no tomorrow.

By the end of our time, I had not only gotten more confident on physical chemistry, but also met a side of my teacher I didn’t know previously. Mr. O'Brien, or Dylan, as he asked me to call him, was a sweet, caring guy. If the fifteen year old version of me had known this, she would be dead and buried now. God, I was a lame kid.

“It was nice being being with today.” He mumbled, nudging my shoulder with his and wearing the best smile in the whole wide world. “I’m glad we’ll be doing this for a few more weeks.”

“I’m glad too.” The watch on my wrist told me it was over six pm, which strictly meant my mum would be all over the place once I got home. “I should get going.”

“Wait, I-I…”

“Yes?”

“Oh, fuck it.”

Not thinking twice, he cupped my cheeks, pressing his perfectly shaped lips against mine in a sweet, tender kiss. At first I was surprised, however, as his tongue slowly licked stripe at my bottom lip, I melted away, surrendering to his touch. It was definitely nothing I could have ever dreamt about. The way his hands found the crook of my waist, how we moved in perfect sync… Everything felt like this was meant to be.

When air became necessary, we merely glued our foreheads together, gazes boring into one another. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t ideal, but, hell, I enjoyed this.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, we shouldn’t-”

I didn’t want to hear the rest, he wouldn’t pop my bubble so soon, therefore, I kissed him again, this time with much more passion and hunger. So strong we were left a heaving mess afterwards.

“You’re an amazing kisser too.” O'Brien whispered, making me giggle. “I mean it.”

“You are one crazy person, O'Brien.”

“I told you should call me Dylan.”

“As you wish, Mr. O'Brien.” Playfully winking at him, I stole another peck, earning a small smile from him. “This is crazy… I mean, someone could have seen us! Oh, fuck, what if one of the cleaning ladies saw us? You could lose your job! Shit!”

“Relax, nobody saw us.” His thumbs massaged my cheekbones, trying to sooth me. “But you can’t tell this to anyone, okay? Not even Miss Williams. Even though I don’t regret one bit, I could really lose my job if this comes out.”

“Of course I won’t tell anyone, it will be our little secret.”

“Deal.”

I hid my face on the crook of his neck, breathing in the intoxicating musk of his cologne. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me; I mean, it was too surreal. If it was a rumour about Briannah, I would have believed more, because, well, she did want to do it, but me? Nah, it was messed up. Nonetheless, it wasn’t less real. I was indeed within his arms. And, in that particular moment, I decided to not care about the consequences any longer.

318 notes · View notes

saintheartwing · 4 years ago

Text

Undertales of Friendship: Frisk’s Bad Joke

The blue-furred Pegasi that was Rainbow Dash was hovering among the heavy cloud cover, glancing down below at one of the onlookers. The creature in question, armored fish woman Undyne, smiled up toothily as she gave a wink with her one good eye, a yellow thing with a piercingly black pupil.

"Alright Undyne! Ready?!" Rainbow called out as Undyne gave her a nod, readying her spears. "GO!"

Undyne began to lob the spears at full force at Rainbow Dash, Rainbow standing ready as the magical bullets headed her way. As they approached, she began to kick them, each one piercing a cloud and sending it flying into the pools of water below. Watching from a nearby cliff, Alphys shuddered and moaned as she watched her hero go at it, aided by a pony she found rather cute.

"Hey Alphys, whatcha doing?" A voice called behind her, making her squeal in fright. She turned wide eyed and saw Frisk and Asriel, watching the show as well. The brown-haired Asian American and the adorably white-furred goat-boy-esque monster were a charming little sight on any day.

"Ummm... .y-y-y-y-y-y-y-ou know, justsitting here and not having bad thoughts about Undyne and Rainbow Dash, eeeehhehehehe..." She scratched the back of her dinosaur like head.

"Something WONDERFUL just happened." Discord said, many miles away, looking up from his sandwich and beaming in delight.

"Sooooo... what are you doing?"

"Well, we were on our way to Zecora's to get some herbal remedies for Dad." Asriel said. "Seems Berry Punch gave him something a liiiiittle too strong last night, and he has a massive hangover."

Alphys sighed some at that, more naughty thoughts entering the dirty minded anime lover's head.

"Something even MORE wonderful is happening." Discord murmured in delight as Alphys turned as red as a beet.

"Ummm... okay... you have fun..."

Frisk chuckled. "Actually we were hoping you guys were free later, mom is making some fresh apple pie with Applejack and we all get to sample it."

Alphys smiled. "Well that is an offer I can't ref-"

CLONK! Suddenly she was hit in the head with one of the blunted spears, both Undyne and Rainbow staring in shock. "I'm good! I... just may need a doctor... or two... or ten..."

Frisk and Asriel eeped, seeing the magic spear stuck in one of the tips of Alphy's glasses, just barely missing him. They figured it might be a good idea to head to the Everfree. Nothing in there was more terrifying than a worried Undyne.

NOTHING.

Frisk and Alphys huddled together as they walked through the Everfree forest on the path to the hut where Zecora lived. They already were being watched by a timberwolf pack, and they had a hunch the only thing keeping the two of them from being toothpick treats were the flowers that bordered the path.

"Are you sure we are going the right way Frisk?" Asriel asked, shivering.

"I dunno... but Twilight did say just to follow the path..." Frisk said. Asriel hmmed and suddenly snapped his fingers.

"Here... watch this." He focused his magic, suddenly getting older, looking more like his forst form as God of Hyperdeath, except not quite as frightening. He focused his energy, lifting a finger as it glowed with a faintly white light. He smiled as he stopped, nodding in satisfaction. "That way. It isn't far." Asriel said in a deeper voice. He looked over at Frisk, then down where he stood. "Frisk! What is that?!"

Frisk looked down. All about his feet and nuzzling his skin were beautiful shining blue flowers. He never saw any like them anywhere else in Equestria, and wondered how these were so different. He really wasn't sure about flowers, given the fact that Asriel used to be Flowey, a soulless beast who hurt a lot of people.

And then was eaten by ponies for a few weeks. It got weird.

"Asriel... I got a bad feeling about this." Frisk said. Asriel nodded. "We better hurry to Zecora's place. Twilight said she knows everything in nature. Hopefully she knows something about these flowrers.

Asriel nodded, the two starting off, neither noticing that Frisk's legs were changing color...

"Do not worry, Applebloom. In my tummy I have lots of room." Decora said, stirring the massive stewpot, pouring in some more veggies.

"I surely hope so Zecora... I mean... there is a lot." Applebloom said, relaxing in the pot, massaing some of the veggies into her tummy, still hurting from the cupcakes.

"Oh I wouldn't worry about that. I could eat a whole pony and only barely get fat." Decora said, sprinking some spice on Apple Bloom. "Ahh, the right temprature for my brew. Now relax and we will see what it will do."

Apple Bloom mmmmed at the tasty smelling mixture she was in, bubbling gently thanks to the coals underneath. She could just imagine if AppleJack came in right now, seeing the plate on the table, and her sitting in the big pot.

She giggled at that. "Hey Zecora... next person that comes in, act like this is actually Appleblom Soup and not just a bath to help relax my tummy."

Zecora chuckled. "That sounds like a funny thing to do! Besides, you're TOO sweet for me to eat you!" She nuzzled Apple Bloom and added more of the herbs. "As for that pie tasting, You needn't a care, I assure you that I will be there."

As she said that, the door slammed open, revealing an adult version of Asriel, looking rather worried. Asriel's adult form looked quite nice, with a delightful black robe, the Delta Rune symbol of Monsters on the front with dazzling eyes and a well-built body...yet his face was lined with worry. "Zecora! I need your..." He paused and blinked. "Ohhhhh no. Bad enough I and Frisk wind up on the menu, now you're eating the Crusaders too?!"

Zecora and Apple Bloom chuckled, the philly relaxing in the pot. "It's not stew silly! It's an herbal bath! I had a tummy ache from trying a lot of Pinkie Pie's cupcakes, so I came here to see if she could help it."

Asriel shook his head. "Welll I need help of a different sort. I can't find Frisk!" He exclaimed, his voice getting a terrified edge to it.

Both pony and zebra went wide eyed.

"See, We were on our way here, when Frisk was feeling a little tired. He told me to go on, and I went a few steps. But when I turned around he was just...GONE. Zecora I gotta find him, I cannot even sense his SOUL, and I usually can in this form!" Asriel said, putting a hand on his robed chest, shaking his mightily-horned head back and forth.

Zecora hmmed, tapping a hoof to her chin. "Tell me all the things you did see and do, and where he is might be found by you."

Asriel related the journey, including meeting Undyne and Alphys, and running from a timberwolf... then he mentioned Frisk finding some bluie flowers. At this Zecora went wide eyed.

"So you found the cursed flowers of blue?! Oh NOW what did the Poison Joke do?"

Back on the Path, Frisk had no idea what happened. He didn't know where he was at first, but things looked so much bigger now. Worse, he could not seem to be able to move, and he felt really weird.

"Asriel? ASRIEL!" He called.

But nobody came. It was such a shame.

Wait... why did he think that way? He turned about, almost having a panic attack, finally seeing a small pool of water. But when he looked in it, he began to scream.

It was not himself looking back, but a beautiful looking rose. Thing is, the rose had a face like Flowey, and when Frisk blinked, so did the flower. He wasn't sure how but somehow... somehow he was a rose!

"Oh no...oh NO OH NO! and I am in a world of ponies where roses are...oh wait." He breathed a brief sigh of relief that at least he would not die as a flower thanks to the ability he got from the princesses. Their little gift to keep him from undue harm. But he was still trapped. Unless this was a cruel joke and in truth he could do everything Flowey could. He focused some, and tried to make some "friendliness pellets."

Instead, he made cute little hearts float about him. He was surprised by this as they drifted about him before gasping in surprise, hearing a growl behind him. He eeped as he saw it was the timberwolf from before, and in his shock he fired the hearts. With a THWOOMP they shot forth at the timberwolf...

But rather than hurt the wolf however, the thing suddenly froze, then began to act like a lovable puppy, albeit the most terrifying looking one ever, barking playfully and even rolling about like the annoying dog. Frisk was confused for a second, until he took a closer look at his eyes.

They now had little red hearts in them.

"I get it... I really did share my love." He said thoughtfully, leaning on a leaf of his thorny steam without thinking, tapping the side of his bud in thought. "Maybe I can use this to get the attention of Asriel." He mused aloud.

Almost on cue, he saw his best friend, as well as two pnies he identified as Zecora the zebra and the Cutie Mark Crusader Apple Bloom. He focused just a few SOUL pellets, as he was calling them (Meaning Symbols Of Unbound Love), and fired, hoping that one of the three would notice.

But as his luck had it... they hit Zeocra, the one who would most recognize them.

"What the...?!" She managed to get out as little red hearts appeared. She saw the playful timberwolf, and suddenly ran too it, acting very... Un-Zecora like. "Ohhh, who is a good poochie, who is a good poochie?" She siad, scratching his belly, making some bark come off, a soft sappy tounge licking Zecoras face. The other two blinked.

"Ummmmmm... what just happened here?" Asriel said.

"It must be Poison Joke! Apparently it turned Zecora into a lovesick philly!"

Asriel blinked. "But why did it affect the timberwolf.. I thought they were immune."

Apple Bloom was about to answer, Frisk readying his SOUL pellets for ANOTHER attempt, when he felt himself plucked from the ground. He "eeped" as he saw it was by a big red pony staring down at him. Oh no.

"Oh hey Big Mac!" Apple Bloom said. "Picking a flower for Cherilee? And it's a rose too, nice!"

"EEEEEEEEEYup." Big Macintosh said through clenched teetrh. Frick cursed his illluck. He would have been at just the right angle to be seen by Asriel, BUT HE WAS FACING THE WRONG WAY! The back of his head was turned around and he couldn't turn his head enough!

"Well... We gotta find Frisk... we think he may have hit some Poison Joke. If you see him on the way out, or anything that might have been him affected by the joke, let us know okay?"

Big Mac nodded, shaking the boy around some. "Eeeyup." He answered, carrying off his gift for Cheerilee. Roses were her favorite treat of all, and Frisk knew that Cheerilee would likely devour him.

Unless...

As the duo of Asriel and Apple Bloom left the forest, taking Zecora and the timberwolf in tow, the two napping next to one another on a cart Asriel made using his magic, they had NO IDEA where to find Frisk. Luckily, they soom spotted someone who could help, Twilight and Undyne walking by to go see Alphys in the hospital.

"Hey there big guy! Hey squirt! What's up?" Undyne asked, carrying some flowers for Alphys.

"We are trying to find Frisk. We hoped that maybe he was still in the forest, but no luck." Asriel said, telling the whole story. Twilight hmmed.

"Yeah, that's Poison Joke, alright. It is like poison ivy but instead of a bad itch it plays a bad joke."

Undyne groaned. "Sounds like SANS'S kind of flower... but what is up with those two?" Undyne approached, the timberwolf waking and gently licking her hand. "Heh, neat dog!"

"That's weird... Timberwolves are usually much more feirce... this one is very docile." Twilight hmmed, looking in his eyes. "And last I checked they don't get red hearts for pupils."

Asriel hmmed. "Zecora had the same thing. We thought maybe it was due to poison joke affecting them."

Undyne smiled. "Not much of a joke kiddo. I mean look at him! This timberwolf would be the perfect pet! And best of all I could train it to maybe turn into a wooden suit of armor or something?"

Everyone stared.

"What?! Happens in anime all the time, and we know anime is real right?!"

"Uhhhhhhh..." Twilight hmmed, trying to get off the subject. "Undyne is right... I don't think this is poison joke causing this. Did you two see anything else weird?"

Apple Bloom hmmed. "Well, we did see a big rose on the path. We didn't think roses grew in the Everfree."

Twilight hmmed, then went wide eyed. "Wait a sec! Asriel...this is a long shot, but YOU were a flower before... so what if-"

"You don't mean... that was FRISK!?" Asriel said. Undyne went wide eyed and began to laugh.

"Oh now THAT is funny! Little lover boy turning into a symbol of love! Now that is hilarious!"

Apple Bloom suddenly gasped. "And dangerous! Big Mac had picked it, and was going to give it to Cheerilee!"

Twilight nodded. "Then that is where we are going. Everyone hang on, I can teleport us th... WHOA!" Before she could, the timberwolf pounced her, waggging his tail and licking her face, making her laugh since it was so ticklish. Undyne smiled.

"Yeah, definately want this for my pet. But it looks like we will have to walk. Twilight, you stay with Barkbark and Zecora and-"

"Barkbark?" Asriel said, Undyne leaning close.

"YOU GOT SOMETHING AGAINST THE NAME." She said with narrowed eyes, the boy turned hyperdeath god shaking his head furiously. "GOOD. Let's movce it losers! To Cheerilee's!"

The three ran off, leaving Twilight with a very friendly timberwolf. She giggled as she finally got up. "Ok... sit." She said, testing.

Barkbark sat.

"Good boy!" She said. She suddenly realized she didnt have a treat besides an apple. She gulped. "Ummmm... what do you eat anyway? Besides ponies?"

Over at the aforementioned red-furred Earth Pony's home, Frisk ahhhed relaxingly as he sat in some tea. He was a little hurt when some petals came off, but was relieved that all he was going to be for now was flavoring for a special apple rosepetal tea. The local school teacher Cheerillee was truly touched, brushing some pink hair to the side before giving the red-furred, well-built hunk of a stallion that was Big Mac a big smile.

"Oh Big Mac, this is the best tea I ever had. Thank you, my wonderful Apple Pie." She said, kissing him on the nose

"Eeeyup." He said, blushing shyly. Frisk smiled at the duo.

"Sooooooo... .you're not going to eat me right? I'm not food?"

Cheerilee giggled. "Of course you are sweetie! After tea I am making my special rose and daisy cookies, it's one of our favorites."

GULP.

"Ummmm... you might not wanna do that." Frisk said, shaking his head back and forth. "See... I have this power, and if I use it, it makes some strange things happen." He warned them.

Big Mac hmmed? "Like what?"

Frisk sighed. He focused and made a couple SOUL pellets. "These. If I hit you with these you will fall deeply in love and what you do will be... well... pretty bad."

Cheerilee smiled. "Oh silly, we are ALREADY in a relationship! But go ahead, I;m curious if it can go further."

Big Mac smiled. "Hope it ain't like last time." He said, the biggest sentence he said for awhile. Cheerilee giggled remembering that.

So Frisk focused and fired... but as he did, Undyne crashed through the front door, taking the bullets head on. Frisk gasped as she sudden;ly froze, then looked at Asriel. "Well hello, handsome." She said wistfully.

"Something AWFUL is happening." Discord gasped, suddenly sitting up in his bathtub, the little rubber ducky he had on his muzzle dropping off as he cringed.

"RUN, ASRIEL!" Frisk screamed, Asriel eeping as Undyne went to embrace him. Apple Bloom was wide eyed as they ran past, the hero of the underworld chasing Asriel. Apple Bloom "oied".

"Ooooooooooh boy. Toriel is gonna be MAAAAAAD..." She said, looking at Frisk. "And as for you, Frisk..."

"Frisk? You mean.. .the flower is Frisk?" Cheerilee said, Big Mac also in shock.

"Yeah, Bro went into the Everfree, I guess to get you some really rare flowers, found the rose, and well the rose was Frisk thanks to Poison Joke, and..."

"Whoa whoa whoa..." Cheerilee said, tapping Apple Bloom. "If that is Frisk why didn't he say so?"

Frisk blushed, wilting slightly. "Well... Big Mac DID brave the Everfree to pick me,, just for you" He said. Cheerilee looking to Big Mac.

"Yeah... he did." She snuggled him. "Apple Bloom, can you take Frisk over to Twilight? See if she can cure him? But Frisk... before you go..." She began to add.

Frisk could see where this was going. "Ok...hold still..." He remarked aloud, taking aim...

"In conclusion Princess Celestia, the incident was resolved well. With the exception of the Timberwolf the SOUL pellets were extracted. Seems the timberwolf, Barkbark, is permanently tamed. Frisk is back to normal now, thanks to Zecora's remedy, and He is working with Asriel to clear the Poison Joke enough to allow safe passage in the Everfree with no further incident."

Twilight smiled, sitting in the hospital room, Alphys getting snuggled by both Undyne and Barkbark.

"Ohhh... I suppose we can keep him... but what do Timberwolves eat?"

Undyne hmmed. "Well... I found out they eat meat mostly, so I guess we may have to find some here in Equestria. They might also eat spider pastries...so I guess Muffet will have some more customers for her specialties!"

Alphys smiled, petting BarkBark's soft, mossy back. "Well we will figure out out. Did he eat yet?"

Undyne nodded. "Yup! He ate Frisk!"

Everyone spoke at once. "FRISK!"

Twilightr illuminated the inside of the Timberwolf, indeed looking like the inside of a hollow log with mossy interior that tickled the little kid. "I'm okay!" He called out, giving them a thumbs up. Seemed he was in no danger after all.

"Now THAT is funny." Undyne said. "Guess you can say our wolf is full of Frisk's love now?"

Everyone groaned.

"Sans really is an awful influence on us all!" The Princess of Friendship groaned, whacking her face with her hoof. "Undyne... if you're looking for laughs, your... BARKing up the wrong tree." Twilight said, giving a little wink.

Undyne tossed a pillow at her face as laughter filled the air, and so ended another day in Equestria.

THE END

Asriel appeared, smiling.

"Hi there! Hoped you liked this one. I really was glad to tell about this, seeing Frisk make people fall in love was really cute!

"Well... except when Undyne thought I was her boyfriend or something... don't tell mom okay? Please?

"Oh and by the way, just so you know Frisk was taken out, completely unharmed. Seemed the moss breaks down food overtime inside a timberwolf so it works really slow, and as a result Undyne just reached right in and pulled Frisk right out. Barkbark now apparently can be used as a sort of emergency shelter if needed.

"Annnnnnd about my changing into my god form. Yeah I can do that at will thanks to the SOUL power everyone gave me. Since I got so much of it I can take adult form with no trouble. But don't worry, I can't use my attacks or anything like that, I just have better natural magical talent as an adult. I can't use it for long though, maybe a day, then I am worn out by the end of it.

"I bet your wondering how I break the forth wall like this when no one else can. Well that is easy. I know this is fanfiction, and that you clearly liked reading it. I'm glad for that. If I could I would hug you in thanks.

"Well... .that's it. Goodnight!"

Asriel vanished, leaving the screen blank.

...

..."Wow. You're still HERE? Don't you have anything better to do?"

#Undertales #undertale #Frisk #My Little Pony #transformation #fanfiction #fanfic

1 note · View note

thatcookingfat · 7 years ago

Text

Dizzy, the Early Years

Born as the war was coming to a close, Dizzy is the middle of 3 daughters. Grandad, a proud Lancashire Lad, was away in The Signals, doing his part for the war effort & Nan, Motherwell Matriarch, was a stay at home mum. We joke that if the war had continued there would have been a much bigger family; Grandad returned from leave 3 times, leaving Nan with a ‘Bun in the Oven!’

Like many veterans, he was reticent to talk about his experience; only choosing to tell us his job was to lay down the communication system before troops moved into an area. Nan didn’t have time to work! When she wasn’t cooking one in the oven and running a house single handed, she was next door, at my great grandparents, helping her parents! Both he and Nan came from large families. I had over 40 great-aunts and uncles, counting their spouses. I may not remember them all, but I do remember the feeling of family closeness and laughter, lots of laughter! On Nan’s side, it was like ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys' on turbo settings and on Granddad’s side, it was less raucous, but an amazing talent of being able to ‘spin a good yarn' with such a dry sense of humour!

Mum talks about her childhood with such warmth and affection, apart from resenting she always got the hand me downs, whilst her 2 sister's got everything new, “Middle Child Syndrome”! Sadly, mum grew up being told, by her teachers, that she was stupid and illiterate! Dyslexia didn’t exist back then! It made her disruptive in school and totally switched off to learning. Her favourite word, apparently, was, “Why?” Back in an era where children were seen and not heard, she and Granddad would regularly be at loggerheads. Mum always the loser, sometimes with a fat lip for her efforts! So it was hardly surprising when she married as soon as she could, in an effort to escape her strict upbringing.

Sadly, mum swapped her authoritative dad for a manipulative wife beater! Not to begin with of course, that controlling side took a short time to develop. In an age where wives stayed at home, mum would be out working full-time to pay his gambling debts. As an added bonus, she would be punished because there wasn’t a hot meal waiting for him, when he got in from work! They also had problems conceiving, another reason for a ‘quick slap'! But sadly, both their bodies were working against them. Mum’s bits produced too many chemicals that would destroy his little swimmers and he couldn’t produce enough little swimmers, and those he did produce needed a sat nav to find their destination! So, although I call him my ‘Sperm Donor’ he wasn’t! I will never know who was! I was conceived in a petri dish in Harley Street, London, at the cost of £2000 in 1970s prices. A secretive procedure back then, Artificial Insemination by a Donor, I am the result of a quick one of the wrist! All I do know is, as a controversial procedure, donors weren’t exactly queuing up, so it tended to be other medical professionals that donated their services. (Shame I didn’t inherit the clever gene!)

As I’ve said, it was a secretive procedure and frowned upon as it was creating Frankenstein babies ... now I know why I’m so twisted!! They had to swear, on a bible, that my parentage would never be revealed, although by law I had to be registered with the ‘father unknown' label on my birth certificate ! Erm, hello ... do you not think that might raise suspicion?? And, as my exes would probably agree with, technically I was a Bastard, not a term discussed in polite society back then! So Mum was now baking her own bun and received 9 months of peace from his fists, not his verbal abuse though. He never let her forget it was HER failings that made them do what they did. That man, and I use that term in the biological sense only, was a master of manipulation. Mum genuinely believed it was all her fault, she was stupid, she was inferior!

Anyway, this has gotten far too serious, so let’s resume normal service! Mum couldn’t wait for her bump to show. Sadly, we think I’m made of plain, not self-raising flour; as mum was almost 8 months pregnant before it was evident! After almost a decade of trying to conceive, even her mummy tummy was letting her down! Her eldest sister, cooking baby number 7, and younger sister on baby number 2, were the size of buses ... so was mum, only hers was Corgi toy size! Finally, after many hours of labour (the number varies) I came into the world. I’m not saying I was ugly, but they had to slap the midwife! Simply put, I was over baked. I had layers of dead skin caked onto me! But mum thought I was beautiful, thank goodness at least someone did! Her friends would come to visit her in the hospital, sneak a peek and recoil, trying to hide their horror! Eventually, the dead skin came away, and I resembled human form! A thoughtful baby, apparently I always waited until Mum was pulling up the covers to sleep before opening my foghorn lungs! Unable to breast feed, mum would be sitting there bottle feeding me, being told what a failure she was, she couldn’t even feed her down child properly and that maybe it would be better if he just took me away to a better family! It’s a miracle she ever bonded with me!

Looking back through my rose tinted child glasses, they have much thinner lenses than the ones worn today, life seemed idyllic. It seemed to consist of school, where I was labelled a swot, playing out with my friends and Enid Blyton! Despite her fear of the written word, mum instilled a love of books into me. Apparently, when I was a baby I had cloth books for the pram and water proof books for the bath. She was determined I wasn’t going to grow up with her phobia. Unaware at the time, mum had rote learned a ladybird book, “Telling the Time” and would read it to me at bed time. She confidently sat there holding the book and turning the pages at all the right times, “At 7 o’clock we all rise, to stretch, and rub our sleepy eyes.” ...

... ... ... ...

Sorry, had to stop for a minute there, my eyes have started leaking! Wow! Didn’t realise that was such a powerful memory, anyone know a good plumber?

She was so clever, if I had a different book, she would ask me to read it to her, and I would mimic what I had learned from her. I was totally oblivious to her fear, but more importantly her sheer strength and determination. Not to be outdone, he drummed the times tables into me. He thought because I knew what 12 x 12 was at the age of 4, that he was the victor. But he wasn’t, I LOVED books, and 12 x 12 was just like a poem that you recite over and over again. It had no meaning, whereas I could pick up a newspaper and tell him that Star Trek WAS on, even though he’d said it wasn’t, to get me to bed early! He said I was lying, until I read the blurb in the TV listings! It’s probably the only time I remember getting a ‘good hiding’ from him. Looking back with adult eyes, to him, it was probably the equivalent of mum telling him HE was in the wrong, and I had to be put in my place!

I’m not saying I thought mum was perfect back then, far from it! Mum was strict, NO meant NO and please & thank you came as standard, not an optional extra! We had a 1, 2, 3 rule ... if I didn’t do as I was told by the time she got to 3, my arse knew about it! And I’m not saying I wasn’t defiant either, I soon learned that I could get away with waiting until she got to, “Thhhhhhh,” so long as she didn’t get to the, “Reeeeeeee” part I was ok! And I also learned that if mum said no, a few tears to him, got me what I wanted. I didn’t know that by telling tales like that, mum was given a good hiding, once I was in bed! What a selfish, spoiled brat I was!

At the age of 7, the year of Grease, Olivia Neutron Bomb and John Travolting, we moved to Blackpool! I dreamt of sun, sand and an endless supply of rock! Who knew there were schools and even bad weather? Trust me, beaches soon get boring, you can sicken yourself on rock and Blackpool in the closed season is like the Antarctic! We went into partnership with Mum’s childhood friend and her husband. We ran a 9 bedroomed guest house, 109 Albert Road, aka Durham House. Life was far from the idyllic dream I had imagined! The men worked a window cleaning round and Mum and her best friend seemed to be constantly in the kitchen cooking, or making beds! A far cry from the luxury bedrooms our guests had, we slept in the cellar! The only natural light came from the glass tiles in the roof, that was often punctuated with the feet of people walking by above, at street level.

That’s also where I learned that kids could be so cruel. Poor mum saw this only child, spoiled brat being a prize bitch, she didn’t see the slaps, pinches and name calling that can be so devastating to a child’s confidence! The bullying was always at its peak during meal times, as all the grown-ups were busy looking after the guests. I developed, what today would be called a psychosomatic illness, basically I smelt the food cooking and I would throw up! Bring rushed off her feet, mum would make me sit on the back doorstep, throwing up into the outside drain. It sounds gross, but it was my haven, until bedtime! Obviously, being a kid, I saw mum as a graceful swan, cooking a million meals effortlessly, I didn’t see the frantic paddling her feet were doing below the water. The so called best friends were scamming the business and eventually it all went tits up! So he moved back to Coventry first, with the premise of getting a job and finding us a place to live. Mum and I moved in with a friend, so I could see the school year out in Blackpool. Bratty me could only see that I'd ‘lost' the nice parent and had to live in this hellhole with the strict one!

I was totally unaware that, instead of getting everything ready for our return, he was living with Nan and Granddad, visiting prostitutes and gambling away the little money that was salvaged from the business. So my dream of returning to our privately owned 3 bed semi turned into the nightmare of a 4th floor council flat, no garden, no friends, yeah I was a selfish brat! That flat continued my awakening to how cruel life can be. That’s where I witnessed my mum slide down a wall after a swift punch, it's where I saw my mum finally snap and almost break his shoulder blade with a steak tenderiser and it's where I discovered I was a Bastard!

Fearful of anything legal or official, mum had stuck to oath she had sworn 9 years ago. She had been mortified when instead of the, ‘Father Unknown’ that should have been on my birth certificate, he had registered my birth alone and naming himself as my legal father. I can still hear her pleas as she begged him ‘not to’ as he uttered the words, ‘I'm not your dad.’ He had an impeccable sense of timing too, it was the same night I discovered my dear great aunt had died! He failed to tell me the full facts, leaving me to assume mum had been unfaithful. I was at the age where sex had something to do with boys having pencils and girls had pencil sharpeners, so simply I thought mum had sharpened someone else’s pencil! Bless her, I bet she never thought she would be having ‘that’ conversation, whilst explaining the science behind it, whilst nursing a dislocated jaw!

Expecting me to take his side, with his half truth, he was floored at my reaction! I remember feeling so angrily empowered and grown up, telling him, at the age of 8, that he couldn’t tell ME what to do, he wasn’t my Dad! I was then floored, literally at his response, my cheek stung for an age! Oh and by the way, this was Christmas Eve! I suppose my under reaction to Christmas today, has a lot to do with that time! I don’t remember much about that Christmas Day, other than a deathly silence and an atmosphere thicker than the Cabinet Room at No10, after the last election! I do remember Boxing Day though! Mum wasn't there when I woke up, and me and him went to visit my cousin! I thought nothing of it, when he and my cousins went to the pub. I thought it was exciting because Tina, my cousins wife, was teaching me to knit! Kids are so fickle! I was unaware that instead of the pub, they had in fact been at the flat, changing the locks! We returned home later to an empty flat and Mum STILL wasn't home the next day either! He told me she had phoned to say she wasn’t coming back! Like a prat, I believed him!

I dreaded going back to school, because the first thing we would have to do was write our ‘news'. I remember staring at the blank page, trying to make up some magical story to compete with the other kids! I didn’t want my real news shared! I’m not sure what happened next, but I do remember a tear spreading out on my blank page and being quietly lead away to the Head Mistresses’ office. Waiting patiently in there was MUM!!!! In between my sobs, she explained how she had gone out Boxing Day morning to ask a friend, if mum and I could move in with her, until something better could be organised and on her return, the locks had been changed. Long story short, the school would not let me leave before home time. I had to then ‘chose’ if I would cross the road to my aunts house and wait for him, or leave through the office and out to Mum, waiting in Grandad’s car! How thoughtful of the school to put such an immense responsibility on an 8 year old child! That day was a blur! I couldn’t wait to leave with mum! We were off on an adventure! Blow you Famous Five, The Terrific Two had their own stories to discover.

1 note · View note

sindrafalcone · 8 years ago

Text

The Mom Ch. 4

Fandom: BIGBANG/ Choi Seung Hyun

Synopsis: Troubling thoughts...

Warnings: Fluff and some angst. Trigger Warning: This chapter touches on the subject of Postpartum Depression. (PPD) Reader discretion is advised!

Author’s Note: Just a touch of angst in this chapter, I swear. But there’s also plenty of the fluffy stuff. And, there’s a bit of an homage to @mainhoonemily‘s incredible story “After Midnight”. I hope she can forgive me... lol

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Masterlist

“______-ah, that was a delicious breakfast! I missed your cooking while I was gone.” Seung Hyun sighed as he pushed himself away from the little kitchen table. Sung Ja gurgled happily from her bouncy seat. “Just you wait, dumpling... you're going to love your mom's cooking.”

You rolled your eyes but laughed tiredly. “Dumpling? Really, Seung Hyun?”

For the past two weeks, your husband had been trying to pick a nickname for the twins. Every day he threw out an increasingly absurd list of names, just to try them out. So far, nothing had stuck. He insisted that it had to be 'perfect' because he didn't want to switch it later.

Seung Hyun shrugged, standing up. “Yeah... it doesn't quite work, does it?”

“Not really, no.” you smirked.

“I'll go up and get Seung Min for you before I get ready.” he said, hugging you from behind. “I'll more-or-less be able to take a month off now, spend some real time with you and the twins.”

“That's good.” you smiled, snuggling back into his embrace.

“I still have a small schedule to keep up with, but at least I'll be home. I've got to go in today though...” he sighed. “Jiyong and I have an interview and then we're working on our upcoming album for a bit.”

He gave you one last squeeze before heading out of the kitchen and upstairs.

"Here we go, monkey boy." Seung Hyun picked his son up out of his crib and smiled at him. "I've got to go in to work, ok? Your mom will be here to watch over you and you sister though, so don't worry." The infant just stared up at him, wriggling his limbs.

"Yeobo, you do realize I can hear everything through the baby monitor, right?" came a static-y version of your voice from somewhere. Seung Hyun startled and Seung Min made a pleased noise at the sound of his other parent's voice. "You are not calling our son monkey boy."

"What the...? Since when did this thing have an intercom?!" Seung Hyun looked around, totally confused. Sure enough, on the white device sitting on the end table next to the crib, there was a little speaker. A little green light was lit up brightly on it, he presumed that showed when it was in use. "Oh, there it is! Do you always talk to them through this thing?"

"No, I usually just use it to hear when they wake up."

“Hmmmm...” your husband pondered aloud as he carried the baby over to the changing table. “Does it have another receiver? How far is the range? Do you think it would reach all the way over to YG?”

It was extremely amusing to listen to Seung Hyun when he got overprotective of the twins. He'd fervently deny it when confronted, but it was pretty obvious. This new revelation was almost as cute as the time you'd caught him trying to explain the merits of modern expressionist art to them.

"No, it only has one receiver. And, even if it did have two, I doubt it would reach beyond the villa." you said with a laugh.

Seung Min wiggled as his father finished changing him and picked him back up.

"Oh, well... it was a nice thought anyway." he sighed, walking out of the nursery.

The only upsetting thing about Seung Hyun's overprotectiveness was where it stemmed from... his intense desire to be nothing like his father. Where you could occasionally look back at how your dad had been and take some inspiration, Seung Hyun looked at what his father would have done and did the exact opposite for everything. He was determined to be an incredibly hands on parent, much more than you had anticipated him being with his sometimes insane schedule.

He came back down to see you standing at the kitchen sink & washing dishes. He walked up behind you and gave you another hug, wrapping one arm around your waist and planting a kiss onto your neck. You breathed out a sigh as you finished the last dish & turned around to take Seung Min from him.

“Go get ready or you're going to be late.” you chided Seung Hyun playfully as you sat back down to get ready to nurse.

“Yes, dear...” he mono-toned with a wink as he backed out the door. It always amused your husband whenever you attempted to half-heartedly boss him around.

You took your time feeding Seung Min, knowing that his daddy still needed to take a shower before he got dressed and ready for the day. After he was finished and burped, you gathered the twins up and moved into the living room. You spread out a large blanket on the floor in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, scattering some toys on it. Then you laid both babies down so they could have some “tummy time”.

When Seung Hyun came back downstairs, it was to find his children playing on the blanket while you curled up in the De Sede chair to read for a bit. He smiled at the sight before him. Nothing in the world, not even being on stage in front of thousands of fans, made him feel this good. He swooped forward, scooping Seung Min up into his arms in one swift motion.

“Seung Hyun...” you said, voice concerned. “I wouldn't do that...”

You didn't even get to finish your warning before Seung Min promptly spit up, all down the front of Seung Hyun's shirt.

“... if I were you.” you finished futilely, standing up and reaching over to the coffee table to pick up the burp cloth you'd used earlier. Walking over to your husband, you took your son from him before handing over the cloth.

“I really should've known better.” Seung Hyun chuckled. “I know he just ate... but I couldn't help myself. They were just so cute, laying there and playing like that.”

“I know what you mean, yeobo.” you leaned over and gave him a quick peck to the cheek. “But now you have to go change shirts.”

“Shi...” he started to curse, but caught himself and just sighed in frustration instead.

“I'll text Jiyong that you're going to be late.” you told him with a laugh, as you laid Seung Min back down so he could play beside his sister.

After Seung Hyun finally left the villa for work, you had busied yourself with things to do around the villa. You'd done some laundry and decided what you were going to make for dinner. By the time Noon rolled around, you had given the twins their lunch feeding and tucked them in to nap.

Since you had such a busy and productive morning, you decided to reward yourself with some downtime. You stretched out on the big leather sofa and scrolled through your phone. You didn't have any text messages, but hadn't really expected any. But you did have a notification that Seung Hyun had uploaded something to Instagram, which didn't surprise you in the least.

Quickly you opened up the app, anxious to see what he had posted. Maybe it was something teasing his new collaboration with Jiyong? After a few taps to your screen, you were instead greeted with a photo from the magazine shoot. It was the one that you had personally chosen to go on the cover. You smiled at your phone, it really was a great picture, one that you felt perfectly captured what a great dad Seung Hyun was for his children.

You were shocked at the number of comments that had already been left, he had only posted it an hour ago. Your finger hovered over the 'View all comments' link... Seung Hyun had warned you against reading the comments on his SNS. He said that they could sometimes get a little out of control but you had assumed that he just didn't want you getting jealous over all the lovey comments from his female fans. But... this was such a beautiful, wholesome family picture, what sort of bad things could they have to say about that?

Feeling pretty confident about your decision, you tapped the link. But, as your eyes scanned the comment section, your heart only sank further and further. A few of them were nice, saying how happy you looked together as a family. But the majority of the words others had left were horrible:

why did he have to marry a foreigner?!?

UGH... I know she's SO ugly!

The twins would look so much better if both parents were Korean.

He should divorce her and marry me instead... I could raise those kids the PROPER Korean way!

I know my oppa is a great dad, but I bet she's a stupid, cruel mother. Those poor babies!!!

And so it went... on and on. You felt like you should probably stop reading them but, for some odd reason, you couldn't. Somehow, you'd gotten yourself stuck in this endless hell of reading the harsh words your husband's fans had written. You understood that some of it was just jealousy. What you couldn't wrap your brain around was how some of the comments attacked the twins and your parenting.

These people didn't know you. They had no idea what your life with Seung Hyun was really like, so why did they feel the need to say such mindless and hurtful things? You thought back to what you'd told Seung Hyun just before he proposed... that you would be fine as long as you got to keep the real him and his fans kept T.O.P. So, why did they feel entitled to act as if they knew him better than you did?

Suddenly you felt tired, drained. You wanted to escape, to run away from the spotlight that accompanied being married to a celebrity. You missed being able to go out if you felt like it, like when you'd taken Yeon Jun to places while you were his Nanny. Now you were lucky if you could get out of the house to buy groceries without being recognized.

You touched your neck where Seung Hyun had kissed you earlier. Maybe his fans were right... Maybe you just weren't cut out for this sort of life? Maybe he should have married a native? Would the twins be better off with a Korean mother instead of you? Had you being a foreigner doomed them to a life of unfair judgment from others?

Quickly you closed the app and shook your head, as of that could clear it of all the dark thoughts that had taken hold. You thought for a minute about what to do. You knew you couldn't call Seung Hyun, he was busy and you didn't want to make him worry. Your in-laws were currently on vacation, so that was out. Seungri was somewhere in Japan doing something business related. Then you realized exactly who was the perfect person to talk to in this situation.

So, you'd sent a quick text to Daesung... asking him if he could please come over if he wasn't busy. As soon as he'd replied that he would be right over, you went upstairs to get the twins up from their nap.

By the time he arrived you already had the babies fed, changed and happily playing on the blanket again. After a greeting and quick hug, he sat down on the blanket with the twins and started playing with them. But his eyes were entirely focused on you.

“What's up, ________-ah?” he asked, his voice cheerful even though he could tell something was clearly bothering you.

“I, um...�� you paced nervously. “I might have done something that I really shouldn't have. I... I started having some scary thoughts. And I just really didn't want to be alone right now.”

Your words had him up off the floor in a flash. He put an arm around your shoulders, leading you over to the sofa so the two of you could sit down.

“Okay... well... I'm glad you called me then.” he told you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Do you want to talk about it or...?”

You knew that you'd made the right choice in asking Daesung to come over. He would be happy to be supportive, but he wasn't going to force you to talk. He had helped you so much while Seung Hyun had been gone during his enlistment & your comfortableness around him had you pouring your heart out in no time.

After you'd finished telling him everything that had happened, even showing him the comments that had bothered you the most, he sighed heavily. You had started crying again, and he always hated to see you cry.

“They hate me... and I don't understand why. I haven't done anything to them. Is there something wrong with me?" you sobbed. It was all pouring out a break-neck speed. "I don't understand why it's like this!" you leaned forward and buried your face in your knees. "I take it back. I don't want to share him any more. I don't want him to be anywhere near his fans. But I'm so anxious that he would be unhappy...I can't ask him to choose! What kind of wife would that make me, Daesung? They're my babies and I'm starting to think they would be better off without me! I'm a horrible parent!"

"Wha...why didn't you say anything to Seung Hyun? ________-ah, the twins are over four months old now! You've felt like this for four months and you didn't tell him?"

"No! No.... it only started today.” you said, lifting your tear streaked face so you could look at him. ”I didn't want to bother him because he's busy in the studio.”

"Okay, then...” Daesung took a deep breath. “That makes things a bit different. You're a good parent, ________-ah. Don't let anyone try and tell you otherwise."

You were crying hard, your whole body shaking. Daesung leaned over and gathered you up into his arms, hugging you tightly to him.

“Listen to me, _________-ah. We're going to get you through this, I promise. I'm pretty sure that what you're feeling is common in new mothers. I think I've heard my therapist talking about it before. I can always give you her number.” he said, rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you.

“I... I think that might be a good idea.” you sniffled.

You talked with Daesung a little while longer before he convinced you to go upstairs and take a shower and a nap.

When you woke up next, it was late afternoon. You jolted up out of bed, panicking & hurried to the nursery only to find it empty. Running downstairs, you saw Seung Hyun sitting in the De Sede chair.

“Where are the twins?” you asked, your voice shaking with fear.

“Daesung took them over to Youngbae's for a bit. He will bring them back before bedtime.” Seung Hyun replied, looking at you. “You needed the sleep, and I wanted some time with my wife.”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto his lap. His warm, chocolate brown eyes looked into yours and you looked away, ashamed of your feelings from earlier in the day.

“What is wrong, gongju-nim? Daesung told me that you'd been having some very troubling thoughts after looking at some fan comments? Please, ______-ah, what’s going on?”

You felt tears well up in your eyes again, and after a few minutes of silence, you whispered. “I’m weak, Seung Hyun…” the tears fell, streaking your face with heat and you began to tremble. “I just... I let them get to me. I know you told me not to look. But I didn't think that the fans would have such mean things to say about such a beautiful picture.”

Seung Hyun's heart stung at those words. Clearly the fan comments had done more to you than he realized. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest, feeling your sobs as they wracked your body. He didn’t know what to say. Maybe posting the picture hadn’t been the best choice, he only wanted to show off his little family, but maybe he had gone about it the wrong way. As your body quieted, he tilted your head up and planted a soft kiss on your lips.

“You aren’t weak. You've been through hell... all because of what I do. I thought financially supporting you and the twins was my first priority, but I realize now it wasn’t. I need to support you emotionally first. Forgive me?” he whispered.

You looked up at him, his eyes pleading with you, and felt your heart stir. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. The two of you stayed just like that for a long time, holding on to each other like a lifeline.

“There's nothing that you need forgiveness for.” you breathed quietly. “Seung Hyun... take me to bed. Please? I need...” you left that statement open ended, hanging thickly in the air between you.

“Are you... are you sure?” he asked. “Is it okay?”

You chuckled quietly. “The doctor cleared it as okay when I hit nine weeks postpartum. I think we're good.”

“Well then...” he said with a smile. “As you wish.”

It wasn’t until you were laying in bed afterwards, with your head on your husband’s chest, that he let out a startling shriek of triumph.

“I’ve got it!” he said gleefully.

“Got what?”

“The perfect nickname for the twins!”

You lifted your head an looked down at him expectantly.

“Well?”

“Thing 1 and Thing 2!” he said happily.

You just smiled at him before laying your head back down. “You’re right, Seung Hyun... it is perfect.”

He looked so proud of himself that you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you had secretly been calling the twins that for almost two months now...

#bigbang #bigbang scenarios #bigbang scenario #bigbang fanfiction #choi seunghyun #choi seunghyun scenarios #choi seunghyun fanfiction #choi seunghyun scenario #t.o.p scenario #t.o.p #t.o.p scenarios #t.o.p bigbang #t.o.p fanfiction #tabi #kpop scenarios #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenario

74 notes · View notes