#so as you can see everything in this beautiful world is delicately interconnected. let's get hit by a truck.

[stellerssong]

and as long as i'm posting self-incriminating things about goofy-lookin white men, it must be said that the video of reeve carney happily exclaiming "let's get hit by a truck!!" is foundational to the way i portray orpheus in htown fic. i am alone in this vision, hopefully

[bratz-kitten]

the moon through the houses 

moon in the 1st house: very emotional and delicate - it's like you wear your heart on your sleeves. it's impossible for you to hide your feelings. enchanting aura. so so sensitive and it might be very easy to hurt you. you trust your intuition and gut feeling like no other and you make your decisions based on it, here is present a potential for intense psychic abilities where you might be able to predict things for others. when you were younger, your intuition might have been very overwhelming. spontaneous in your responses; with you, everything depends on your emotional state. you might pride yourself a lot on your empathetic nature, your need to take care of and nurture everyone, how affectionate you are - but you also want to be spoiled. a need to be noticed for your talents. controlling your mood swings is necessary to use your intuition constructively, to achieve your dreams - because truthfully, you can be too defensive and reactive; try not to take everything to heart. a need for emotional stimulation. you may act overly cold to protect yourself because you've been very hurt in the past. 

moon in the 2nd house: your emotional security depends on knowing that your financial future is stable - and the constant changes you might experience when it comes to your finances and your self-worth might bring you a lot of anxiety. there's a tendency to not realize your own worth. you want you and those close to you to always feel at home and nurtured, a home where you always feel protected and can protect them - be careful with putting other's needs above your own. you can take a lot of pleasure from making gifts for your loved ones. can easily go from very generous and offering everything to others to want to keep everything to yourself due to your fear of losing security. give off a mysterious and deep aura. emotional attachment to things that remind you of your past and those who you love. tendency to shop your problems away whenever you feel sad and empty. you hold on strongly to the ones you love and can be very possessive over them. honest to a fault; others might not be able to handle your honesty. incredibly artistic, you express your thoughts through the creation of art.  

moon in the 3rd house: your mind seems to run at a thousand kilometers per hour, and the amount of information you're capable of absorbing + your tendency to overthink might have you literally hurting from thinking so much. you react very fast to things. gaining knowledge makes you feel emotionally fulfilled. so eloquent and intelligent, with various interests and a love for sharing your ideas with others. a love for writing. ideas that bounce from one to the other. it almost feels like you have the answer to all the universe's secrets. fascinating thinking process, but you can get too stuck in the past sometimes. you get nervous whenever you spend too much time in one place, there's a need for constant change present here - but still, you are very attached to the places where you were raised. logic interconnecting with emotions. you love talking about your emotions and private matters, so others, sensing this disposition in you, might feel instantly safe when it comes to sharing their secrets with you. 

moon in the 4th house: you give great importance to your home and your family, and with them is where you feel the most emotionally secure. you might be very distrusting of strangers and it can be particularly hard to get close to you, but once someone's in, they'll feel your love forever. very sensitive to the needs of loved ones, like you have this intuition that allows you to feel what they feel. there's a need for change in your environment present here, you might feel the need to move somewhere else a lot in an attempt to deal with your inner restlessness. eventually, you'll have to learn that home isn't a place but it's something you carry with you wherever you go. for better or worse, your parents had a great impact on you. you might constantly be subconsciously looking for their approval. intense mood swings that only seem to become more prominent as the years go by, careful with letting insecurity take over you. breaking old habits can seem almost impossible, but if they're toxic, please learn to let them go. you can be very emotional and nostalgic, with a deep craving for intimacy. 

moon in the 5th house: you have such a kind and generous nature, always looking to look out for the lives of the ones you love. tendency to be overly dramatic and for exaggeration. a deeply creative soul, you easily express your emotions through art. a talent for acting and drama, a love for being the center of attention. imagination and daydreaming. so expressive, passionate, spontaneous. a love for intense romantic relationships, your passion is magnetic to others. although you can be too fond of taking risks - when it comes to money, buying things and love. might be too addicted to playing games rather than to the person who you're with. be careful with needing people to need you, and to get stuck in codependent relationships. can be overly authoritative. your charmingly childish spirit can have you being great with kids. constantly in a competition with yourself to be better, prettier, smarter, with better style, more successful. a need to be the best in everything you do. 

moon in the 6th house: very caring and emotional, with a deep need to help others around you. your emotional distress can easily physically manifest itself - stress, anxiety and feeling insecure can deteriorate your health dramatically. you care a lot for working hard and for being healthy. you feel the most emotionally satisfied when you're advancing in a job that you love, when you're able to make your coworkers feel like one big family, when you not only take care of the ones you love but you feel spoiled and nurtured back. tendency to panic when things don't go your way. your need for perfection can be downright toxic - you need to realize that you're a human who's allowed to make mistakes. a love for a stable routine. a talent for solving problems. you might be too selfless, helping without expecting anything in return - careful with being taken advantage of. you need variety in your career so you might constantly be changing jobs. you don't like to wallow, you want to move on from the things that make you feel stuck. a love for self-improvement. 

moon in the 7th house: you feel the most emotionally fulfilled when you're supported by the ones you love the most, when you feel secure and protected in their presence. you might often feel vulnerable, like you need to belong to someone else which is why the idea of soulmates is so attractive to you - but before loving others, you need to learn to love yourself, even the darkest parts that you try to pretend aren't there. be careful with staying in relationships where you're no longer happy and in love, security should be found in yourself and not in others. a love for romantic gestures, for intimacy and affection. you might use your personal relationships to get what you want. people skills - you're able to see all the perspectives in a situation and to adapt to others' needs, which is why you're so well-liked. friends that feel like family. very interested in their public persona and in being admired, and this need for an audience can be misunderstood by your partners. a talent for business and the arts. 

moon in the 8th house: you deeply want to connect with others, but your trust issues make it very difficult for you to let yourself trust your partners. you get easily attached to others because of that need for nurture, but on the other hand, there's a fear of rejection and loss present here. very supportive of your close ones, unconditional type of love. a tendency for possessiveness and jealousy, can also be controlling. you might be into going on a shopping spree every time you feel sad. hypnotizing look and magnetism. psychic abilities. you're very secretive because you don't want others to figure you out - you have a deep understanding of life and loved ones, knowing their darkest parts, but you don't like being known yourself, being very secretive about your emotions. can be emotionally unstable. you need intimacy to enjoy sex, you're not the type to enjoy having one-night stands. you hide the memories that pain you. you shouldn't ever allow life or a love betrayal to put out the spark of passion in you, because that's what makes you yourself. a desire to merge with someone, something else. 

moon in the 9th house: there's this craving present in you to escape, to constantly be on the move; a need for travel and to fall into the belief that the grass is greener on the other side - what are you trying to run away from? you need to understand that happiness comes not from a place but the inside; you are your home and no amount of moving will fill the emptiness inside of you if you're not willing to fill it with your own self-love. with a need to be constantly stimulated, you're terrified of routine. an innate need to know, explore, dream and delve into the deeper meanings of life. you don't want to change the world, you want to change the whole universe. a true visionary. a constant change of your life philosophy and interests. constantly traveling even if only in your mind - this placement makes for a daydreamer whose imagination enables you to fantasize about practically anything. a tendency to idealize the world - not all is as beautiful and good as you want it to be, the world is much darker and cruel. a capability of turning your dreams into reality. can have a tendency to be obsessive. you want to stimulate others’ minds with your words. 

moon in the 10th house: there's an extreme sensitivity to you that you can't hide from the world; but even if your overwhelming emotions are keeping you from appearing stable and composed, it's their intensity that will aid you in your ambitions to get to the top of the mountain. you aren't really private - you thrive when having a public, but be careful with getting involved with scandals for putting your life too out there for others to scrutinize. special charisma that others can't look away from. very indecisive when it comes to choosing a career because your emotions rule over what you want out of life. craving for recognition and success, and when you're not being admired, you may feel moody and deeply hurt. a need to nurture and protect the world. your parents' words, good or bad, have a big impact on you and drive you to succeed. very emotional when it comes to your loved ones, they might baby you a lot. an approach to reach your dreams that feels almost intuitive, like your brain is unconsciously wired to get you closer to them. difficulty with keeping relationships and secrets private because you always seem to be under the spotlight. 

moon in the 11th house: it's like you feel other people's pain and struggles, very sensitive to the pain of the world. here is present a need to ease others' burdens to feel emotionally fulfilled, you don't want your happiness to be your own only but want everyone to experience it. full of dreams, but they can change according to how you feel. can be emotionally unstable. a need for the support of your friends; when not feeling loved, it breaks your heart and makes you want to isolate yourself. you radiate charm and an intuitive knowing of how to make others have fun when in your presence. friends that feel like family. those of influence want to help you succeed. you need to rely on your intuition to figure out who's trustworthy and who isn't. you should work on your need to have the approval of others and understand that it's up to you to approve of yourself. can give a lot of conflicts with loved ones when you're at your most emotionally involved. easily impressed, independent and with an unconventional personality that others might disapprove of, but you're too unapologetically yourself to care. careful with attracting unstable people because you have a thing for those who society rejects. very private about your personal life. 

moon in the 12th house: you have an overwhelming sensitivity that can't be found in many others, like you intuitively feel what others are feeling, but all of these intense emotions might wear you down and disturb the sense of peace that you so desire. deeply empathetic. even though you understand what others feel, you might be very lost when it comes to your own emotions, needing to retreat from society every once in a while to recharge your energy. attracted by the unknown, all that is transcendental and far from the physical realm. psychic potential. incredible imagination; you might have a lot of vivid dreams and nightmares, which can give you a very chaotic sleeping pattern and even insomnia. artistic inclination, when you express your intensity through art you create magic. you might be attracted to secret love affairs and all that is forbidden. mysterious and secretive aura. fear of losing others and being abandoned because trust comes very hard to you. before succumbing to your need to help others, give yourself that kind of tenderness. you can't stand when others try to limit you. 

[anthropologyarda]

Ecology & the Death of the Two Trees

What happened to the elves when the Two Trees of Valinor died?

Now I don't mean historically - I have the Silmarillion for that. I mean scientifically what happened as a result of the loss of their light source, and what were the practical consequences for the elves.

Because I think the Undying Lands were dying.

The sun affects life on Earth in many complex ways that scientists are still trying to understand, but for us, the most important thing it does is act as the energy source for many of our planet’s processes, such as climate and plant photosynthesis.

Now imagine that instead of a sun as a planetary "engine", you have two trees that wax and wane. Whatever works for you. The bottom line is that strong, powerful, holy light energy - enough to power all of life's processes - is being emitted all of the time. Light is essential to the survival of Earth-like life. Plants need it to grow, and all animal species get their nutrients directly or indirectly from plants.

Now imagine some catastrophic event *cough Melkor* suddenly stops those great lights from shining and all you have left are the stars. Boom. The entire ecosystem goes from having a constant, unrestricted supply of energy to having little to none. No more light, no more energy, no more photosynthesis. All those plants supercharged on tree light? They wither and die. The happy little rabbit that ate those plants? Rail thin and starving. The fox that ate those rabbits? Dead. I think you can see where this is going. Destroy the cornerstone and the entire ecosystem collapses like a tower with no foundation. And the elves of Valinor are part of that ecosystem.

To further compound the problem, the loss of light probably also equals the loss of heat energy. In real life the phenomenon is called an impact winter or a volcanic winter depending on the source. Either way, the environment experiences prolonged cold weather it probably isn't prepared for. An impact winter is like a side of bad news to a main course of terrible news.

So what? Lots of plants and animals die, but famines eventually end. Time passes, the environment recovers. Let's examine timeline a bit. According to Tolkien Gateway, five Valian years passed between the death of the Two Trees and the rising of the moon and sun. In solar years this equals 48 years before Valinor’s energy source was restored. 48 years. Step back and think about how well a bunch of species adapted for unending bright light survived for almost half a century of dim starlight. The answer is not so much 'everything died' as 'everything went extinct'. (There is also the option that the plants and animals of Valinor aged at a slower rate than their Middle-earth counterparts. This doesn't really help them survive for half a century of poor conditions, but it does stop them from adapting more quickly to the new environment.)

I don't think I'm exaggerating. There is actually a legitimate precedent for 'the sun's rays are blocked and everything goes extinct.' It is called the K-T mass extinction event and you might recognize it as 'that thing that killed all the dinosaurs.' Scientists estimate that 50% of all species living at the time were wiped out.

Now that we have our premise let's get to the silm-related part of this equation: what about the elves?

Were the elves starving in the middle of paradise?

Here is where the science ends and the speculation begins. Aman is the land of the Valar, and  I can't imagine they would do nothing as the land withered around them and the Eldar starved. The question is how much could they do.

I will therefore examine three lines of conjecture: one with the best set of outcomes, one with the worst, and one with moderate outcomes.

The big variable here is how much power the Valar could wield reliably long term without harming the elves, and what it means in terms of their control over the land that Valinor was created entirely out of their power.

First outcome (good end): Valinor was supposed to contain all of the plant and animal species present in the world, and some that lived only in Valinor. To me this implies two possibilities.  One is that the environment was incredibly diverse geographically in order to support those species. While we know little about Valinor, I feel like the general aesthetic of 'paradise' does not support deserts and I can't come up with enough isolation mechanisms to explain dodos.

The other possibility is that the Valar systematically altered plant and animal species via magic to coexist without problems and to adapt to the unusual conditions of the Trees, supplementing this engineering with climate control that kept all of Valinor without severe storms or cold. This implies a huge investment of power which might yield a corresponding amount of control. So in this scenario the Trees die, Valinor's ecology goes into an emergency state but is kept alive and nourished by the Valar who have absolute power over the substance of their creation. Perhaps a few especially delicate species are lost, the weather might experience a few fluctuations and crop yields would not be as high as previous years. Everyone is living a little lean compared to previous bountiful years which adds to their general anxiety and fears, but starvation is not something anyone is seriously concerned about.

Second outcome (bad end): Tolkien tells us that Valinor was already a product of extreme bio-engineering. Any product of such extreme artificial conditions will immediately come into distress when exposed to natural environments, like if you tried to grow a tropical orchid in a dry climate. He also tells us that when Melkor put much of his power in the substance of Middle-Earth he 'lost' that power in a sense. It was not beyond his reach and influence but it could only be put to limited new uses. Therefore the Valar might be less powerful than they were when they created Valinor as well. Like Melkor they might retain influence over the material but in less direct ways. Add to this that the Valar, unlike Melkor, have a specialization of their power (Manwe rules the sky, Ulmo the sea etc.). Yavanna and Vana's powers might have been the only useful ones, possibly with Manwe's control of the weather via his sky powers aiding. So the question in this scenario is if the powers of those two Valier would be enough to avert large scale catastrophe.

The key here is not the plants but the animals. No Vala is credited with the creation or influence over all animals. Certain Valar have favorites like Orome's horses and hounds or Manwe's eagles so they might exercise some power over them. But there is no Vala for tree frogs or iguanas or rats. So the Trees die; Yavanna and Vana desperately try to stretch their power out over Valinor to keep everything impossibly alive. That takes care of some portion of the vegetation. If it was anything less than 100% than some individuals are starving and dying over that 48 year period of darkness. The death toll goes up as the percentage of vegetation preserved goes down. But not all animals eat plants. For the carnivores the news is all bad; loss of population in prey species means less to eat for them and some or many of them die. Then we add in environmental effects. For species that need specific climates to thrive the loss of the trees creates a suddenly unstable or inhospitable environment leading to population loss or extinction. Environmental cues for reproduction, flowering and other rhythms of living organisms are also negatively affected.

For the sake of this scenario we will say that Manwe's efforts at maintaining the climate and the sisters' powers are not enough by a significant margin to prevent these effects entirely. Recall our earlier tower metaphor. Like removing individual bricks, each species starts being unable to hold up the weight because of decimation or extinction. Not all species are equally affected; the most specialized who can't adapt fast enough - perhaps entire lineages who are no longer capable of surviving in the new environment - die out first. These might be disproportionately the native species, those most magical and beautiful like the mallorn trees without whom the land would be infinitely poorer and lose some of its magic. 

At first the effects are small, but they begin to accumulate and trickle down from the top through links of predation, parasitism, and cooperation. Natural systems are incredibly interconnected and no species is capable of surviving in a vacuum. If enough animals die even the plants don't escape the consequences. Eventually plants aren't pollinated by insects or their seeds aren’t spread by animals; the disaster begins to affect them too, adding extra pressure to the sisters’ powers. The Valar might have to simply abandon some areas to concentrate on keeping the edible, intensively farmed crops alive to feed the elves. The elves’ domesticated animals might not feel the same pains as their wild counterparts, but if the situation grew especially dire they would have to be abandoned to free food resources for their masters. Even if complete environmental collapse is avoided Valinor is still left with a diminished and traumatized natural environment, and the elves become intimately knowledgeable of the specter of starvation.

Then we have the third, and in my opinion, the most likely middle outcome that falls somewhere in between the best and worst outcomes. In this scenario the Valar have some, but not absolute power over the material of Valinor, with Vana and Yavanna having proportionately the most control, concentrated in the plants. Complete environmental collapse is avoided, but the losses of plants and animals are not light, and are noticeable to the elves.

The Teleri are in the best position in the midpoint scenario. Deep water ecosystems are much better insulated from large scale natural disaster, but coastal regions exposed to tree light would have been badly hit. But heir food supplies from the ocean would have been fairly secure.

The Vanyar might experience some scarcity, but they have the smallest population and live closest to the Valar. The areas where they lived may have held the best preserved areas for plant life. 

And then there’s the Noldor. They lack the advantages of the Teleri and the Vanyar. They have a larger population, no marine resources, and liver farther from the Valar. No doubt they bent their full technological might towards coming up with solutions, but I think they may have begun to seriously fear running out of food, the longer the darkness lasted and they still heard nothing from Taniquetil. For many of the youngest elves, this would have been the first time in their lives they experienced scarcity and food insecurity, and that must have been terrifying. The Valar would not have allowed them to starve, but that fear would have been present in the minds of the Noldor, and been an additional impetus to spur their return to Middle-earth.

Now after all this famine and extinction business, Yavanna and Nienna go coax fruit out of the trees, the sun and moon rise, and everybody lives happily ever after right?

Wrong. (What did you expect? This is the Silmarillion. Nobody is ever happy.)

Jump across the ocean to the Sindar in Beleriand. They don't know anything about the nastiness in Valinor that just went down. They're getting along just fine in the near-dark, thank you very much. Then the sun rises, blinds them, burns them and then shivs them in the back as a parting gift.

Besides supporting the food chain and all life on Earth, the sun also powers the weather and climate (shorthand: weather is short term, climate is long term).

I'm going to overlook the fact that supposedly Yavanna put all the animals into a stasis like state called 'the sleep of Yavanna' after the Valar left for Aman, because what the heck were the elves eating otherwise? And no, the answer is not plants. Many of our edible plants like fruits, nuts, and vegetables need animals for survival. Bees and other bugs pollinate them and animals eat the fruit and disperse the seeds. For the remaining cereal crops insects living in the soil like earthworms have a vital role in maintaining soil aeration and quality, not to mention bacterial flora's role. (I assume here that since elves and humans are capable of producing fertile hybrids we have similar dietary needs)

I'm also going to ignore the fact that weather is impossible without the sun's energy (thus no hydrologic cycle and no drinkable water) and just say that the sun rising at the least must have added a ton of energy to a stable climate, creating a temperature spike and kicking off abrupt climate change on a worldwide scale.

Yes, I just suggested that Middle-earth experienced global warming.

I've already talked about a probable famine and mass extinction in Aman, so let's think about what the effects sudden changes in rainfall and temperature might have on Beleriand! (hint: polar bears)

That's right! More famine! More mass extinction! Lots of crispy plants, dried up rivers and poor harvests. Some of the elves may have had protection. Like the Valar, Melian's power might have been helpful keeping Doriath supplied. Ulmo and his maiar might also have helped the elves on the coastline keep cool and fed.

We know little about the Avari but it seems to be implied that they were the least centralized of the elven kindreds and most nomadic. I don't know if this is fannon or cannon, but I always considered them be be most similar to hunter gatherer peoples rather than settled farmers. If so, they would have been the hardest hit of all the elves of Beleriand because their food supply would be almost entirely dependent on the availability of local plants and animals. This would actually be a good explanation for the dissolution and extinction of Avari culture if survival demanded they go seek out settled peoples with more reliable food supplies.

[girlmeetsminter]

under appreciated

prompt: in which y/n is joking around with simon and he takes what you say the wrong way.

warnings: a swear or two

notes: sorry this is so rushed and unedited, just wanted to say a huge thank you for 100 followers 💕💕

___________________________________________

“simon” my small voice echoes throughout the halls of the sidemen house.

i didn’t live here, but sometimes i wonder if i did would my boyfriend actually want to spend more time with me. i spent a lot of my free time in the presence of simon, but i can’t say that the same necessarily goes for him.

if he’s not found recording, he’s editing, and even when that’s finished he’ll be perfecting thumbnails and rendering stuff.

“in here” he responds evidentially not moving from his desk. not that i would have expected any different.

“just me” i peep my head in the door to see if i’m disturbing him from anything. “i got you some lunch” gesturing to the sandwich made only minutes earlier.

“you didn’t have to do that” he’s still yet to take his eyes away from the current video he’s working on. typical, i think while sighing.

it’s almost as if he is oblivious to the unhealthy amount of time he spends alone in his room. while he may not physically see his friends, he spends a whole lot of time with them. myself on the other hand have to work into his schedule.

my unintentional sigh allows me to receive the full attention of my boyfriend as he reluctantly swivels away from his computer screen. “what did you make?” he says with a cheeky smile, showing that although I didn’t have to make him anything, he’ll still willingly accept it.

“nothing exciting” i wave my hand dismissing his question. “but um- does that mean you’re taking a break?”

“ugh, well i wasn’t really planning on. but i can take a few minutes out if you’d like.”

that being the only invitation i need, i plop myself on his bed. “you’re cute you know?” he smiles at me taking a bite of his sandwich before placing it down on the desk.

“well i must have one real lucky boyfriend then” i answer with a placid smile.

“yeah you must. i suppose he’s rather attractive too?” he replies.

i pretend to think about it for a moment while laying back onto the duvet. it doesn’t take long for simon to react to my teasing as his fingers lightly begin to tickle my sides.

“okay, okay! i guess your somewhat attractive” emphasising the somewhat. my answer clearly not being the right one, as the torture endure from simon’s fingers continued.

“i give up, you’re attractive simon!” realising that i did just scream that rather loudly i immediately clamp my hand over my mouth.

“good, and now the whole house knows it” the cocky grin already etched onto his face.

“you’re such a goofball” i say whilst attempting to push him away from me.

“well then why do you keep coming over here to spend time with a goofball, hey?” his mouth presses to the spot interconnecting my neck and jawline.

nine times out of ten my reaction to him would have been absolute pleasure. for some reason today i’m slightly annoyed at the lack of time simon and I have spent together. particularly in the last few weeks, which results in my honest thoughts to unravel themselves.

“i’m not really sure either..it’s not like this goofball spends anytime with me when i’m here” annoyance evident in my tone.

within an instant simon retracts from my neck and looks down at me with sad eyes.

“is that what you think of me? someone who hardly cares about you? or doesn’t have time with you?”

“no simon that’s not what i meant at all” he moves further away from me standing up and pacing the room.

“great just another thing i’ve fucked up” his voice becoming more aggressive by each syllable.

“babe calm down you haven’t fucked anything up” even with such sincerity the words don’t get through to him.

“listen y/n, my life isn’t all sunshine and roses. it’s hard work, a lot of hard work. not only do i need to be putting good content out frequently, i also have to maintain a good image. you saying that i don’t give you enough attention makes me feel like someone who just uses a girl when he has needs and then tosses her to the side. i’m not that guy y/n! and I don’t have to be with you to think about you, because trust me when i say you’re the only thing on my mind. there’s no balance in my life, if i spend all my time working i’m upsetting you and if i spend all my time with you i’m upsetting millions of people. i can’t win” eventually he stops pacing, he stops yelling and tears begin to run down his face.

“take a deep breath si. you’re taking this all completely the wrong way! i’d be lying if i said i didn’t feel a little ignored at times. but i understand it’s your job, and in no way do i feel used by you. i walked into your life knowing full well all the overtime you do, all’s i’m suggesting is a little break every now and then. for your own sake.”

i stand from the bed and wrap my arms around him. he sobs lightly into my shoulder, his grip tightly around my waist.

he moves back ever so slightly still with his arms firmly holding onto me. he looks for my eyes to make contact, while he takes a shaky hand to press under my chin lifting it up. “i love you y/n, i really do. and i’m sorry if i make you feel under appreciated. you deserve the world, and i’m sorry if i can’t give you that, but i’m trying and i’ll do anything for you. from now on i’m going to include you in everything i do. if you’re here and i’m filming, you can help with the camera work or can even make special appearances in my videos. if you’re here and i’m editing we can put a movie on and snuggle together while i do so. i love you more than anything y/n/n, and i want you to feel the appreciation you deserve.”

very delicately he leans down locking our lips together. in a slow and passionate kiss that shows every part of my body that he appreciates my company.

“i love you too simon” i respond against the warmth of his lips. simon picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, i immediately begin squealing and hitting his back.

“calm down gorgeous, stay here i’ll be right back” he instructs while throwing me onto his mattress.

i here him frantically rushing around the house and i let out a small giggle at how dorky he can be sometimes.

he runs back in with a parcel in hand and lack of oxygen. he stops to catch his breathe before sitting down next to me.

“i know i’m a day early but i feel like after all we’ve been through today you deserve it now” handing over the parcel wrapped with a sloppy bow on top.

he watches me intently with eager eyes as i pull back the pink tissue paper. inside is a beautiful navy blue cocktail dress made entirely of lace.

“what’s this for?” i ask evidently confused with his nice gesture.

“well i figured since tomorrow is our anniversary of when we met i wanted to take you out somewhere nice. it’s a total surprise so don’t ask any questions, but i just wanted to do something for you. i may have even asked freya if she can stay here tonight so we can have your apartment to ourselves” he adds with a wink.

“you remembered that it was our anniversary? you’d been so busy lately with the book, and the tour and your other events i didn’t think you’d be able to take some time off.”

“i feel offended that you think i’d forget the day i met the most prettiest, most intelligent and most kind hearted girl in the world” he says faking a hurt expression. “i remember it like it was yesterday” he nudges my shoulder.

“really?” i ask in awe. “do you think maybe you could recall the story to me?”

“of course my love” he says tangling our legs together as he lays us back into a more comfortable position.

“it was an ordinary tuesday for me, typical video grind type of day. we had a meeting in town about some new merchandise and jj, vik and lewis had all left together. but josh and I had to make a pitstop to grab freya before the meeting. she’d gotten out of class early and was meeting a friend for lunch, so josh promised he’d pick her up so we could all go to the meeting together. we were about 20 minutes earlier on picking frey up than planned so she was no where ready to go when we arrived. ‘sorry boys do you mind waiting on me finishing my lunch i’m starving’, and josh responded with something like ‘no problem at all babe, do you mind if me and simon crash your lunch date though?’ freya had introduced you to me and josh, before the two of them engaged in a deep conversation. this left the two of us to get to know each other until frey was finished. i remember being so nervous at what to say and wondering whether you liked me as much as i liked your personality and your gorgeous looks. i remember freya teasing me the whole car ride about not getting your number and that i’d be begging her for it later. every time josh had to meet freya on campus i’d always ask whether he thought you’d be there, or when he’d get back i’d ask if he’d seen you. it got to the point where him and freya had organised a secret double date which they claim was a coincidence so that we can meet again. and i’m glad that i grew the balls that time to ask for your number, because if i hadn’t i might not be laying here while you peacefully sleeping in my arms” he lightly chuckles pulling the blanket over us and holding me closer than ever.