#so I'd appreciate specification]

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

[popfizzles]

heyyy everyone i just got some pretty Bad™ news that will leave me with nothing in my bank account.

i don't normally do this but i kind of have no other choice.

my commission slots are already filled, but i'm playing catch-up right now and have no spare cash (having already spent the profit i've made from art that is not currently finished yet). if you'd like to help me and my family, i run an etsy with my younger sibling selling stickers and things, and i also have a ko-fi if you'd just like to maybe donate a buck or two!

[Click Here for My Etsy]

[And Click Here for My Ko-Fi]

um. yeah <:) thank you in advance for any and all help!!

[front-facing-pokemon]

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hello! I was wondering if you’d be willing to take commissions someday 👀. No pressure tho! I just love your art so much

The short answer: "not at the moment, but it is very possible in the future'!

The slightly longer answer: I would have to figure out a good pricing and payment system! PD-MDZS is also where most of my free time goes, so until my life settles down a bit, I would be on the slow side to complete them.

[clfixationstation]

so like, how are other people with ADHD eating?

cw: discussing food and difficulty with executive function & eating

I have such a miserable time with it :( Executive dysfunction is kicking my ass. I have a hard time choosing what to eat and when to eat, remembering and comprehending what food I even have, comprehending and following recipes, sensing hunger, and switching tasks. I CAN do all of these things, it just takes a lot of effort and I have to do it three times a day, every day. And so, I do not eat enough (which my body really can't afford).

Also, how I experience (?) foods differs from day to day; sometimes I love a food, while other days the same food makes me nauseous/gives me a headache. But that's more specific to me then adhd.

Anyways, this is the daily scenario: I can't decide what to eat and I get stuck in whatever task I'm doing. Then because I'm hungry, my mood and ability to think worsen, and I'm still just stuck. It ends when a) I pick something and force myself to follow through or b) someone else helps me. And then I have to sit down and eat without getting bored and forgetting about it! It's tiring and embarrassing.

Luckily, my meds don't seem to suppress my appetite. If anything, they can help cut through the executive dysfunction that prevents me from procuring food, lol

So, how do other people manage?

I also don't love eating out because I have to ask about peanut allergens, and also money. I only do it when I have to for social purposes. so please don't suggest that

[ckret2]

I have an offering for Bill Cipher. The first is Zooland books, specifically the 1980 version of them. They have the most amazing illustrations and I loved them as a kid. The second is Madeline Le'angles Wrinkle in Time books which is my favorite sci-fi series. Hope he likes them☺️

idk whether he'd enjoy zoobooks (all i know about them comes from those old tv commercials) but he'd be successfully hypnotized by them. book has pictures, he looks at pictures.

ngl I couldn't get past the first wrinkle in time book. Nothing wrong with the sci-fi worldbuilding, just the overall good vs evil plot was too... whimsical for my tastes? It's been years since I read it, I don't remember precisely what I didn't enjoy. so I don't know enough to decide whether he'd like the whole series.

[piastrinorris]

doin a lil research for a gifset

[tantumuna]

what's crazy to me is multiple times i've received encouragement to start drawing again, even when i mention that the only reason i've considered drawing again is as a desperate ploy for attention

but whenever i talk about my writing i either get ignored or told to "write for yourself"

like just tell me you don't value writing as an art form. it'll be easier than having to dance through whatever the fuck this is

[starflungwaddledee]

okiii new question (sorry for all of them) what IS the A World That Deserves You AU about exactly?

no worries about asking many questions! sometimes if i take a while to respond it's because 1) i'm making a bigger response (or one that involves art), 2) thinking more about the answer or 3) trying to space out who i respond to.

ones that are just text answers are sometimes faster for me because i can do them on days when i can't draw!

anyway, to answer your question:

the A World That Deserves You AU is an alternate universe timeline created by galacta knight defeating meta knight at the end of Robobot, and making a wish on star dream for them to trade places.

meta knight goes kicking and screaming into the rock candy. galacta knight is inserted into meta knight's life and existing relationships on popstar. galacta knight gladly lives on a happy and peaceful little planet training kirby of the stars, and nobody is none the wiser.

at least for a time.

eventually bandee (of all people, someone galacta knight thinks is totally inconsequential) figures out that something is up. once the severity of the situation is confirmed, he and magolor work together to try and correct the timeline while also developing an insane trauma-bonded a super healthy normal person relationship with each other. (i have talked about this part very little but their relationship and decision to work together is actually extraordinarily central to the whole plot haha.)

then there are a variety of AUs of the AU and different endings that are worse or worser, so on and so forth.

the 'true ending' for awtdy au, "the immortality integer", is actually remarkably happy, all things considered! there's lots of crying and yelling and screaming and a little bit of melodramatic self-sacrifice but it all works out, as things tend to.

[violetvulpini]

Screenshot spoof commission for @spacemeta! Really happy with how this came out!!

If you're interested in a commission, please don't hesitate to send me a DM :)

[cheollipop]

!! taglist update

hello! I've changed up my taglist form & added a few rules for signing up (mostly to monitor minors and ageless blogs). please make sure to read through them if you're planning on filling it out! I've been very careless with my previous one, and now plan to be more wary of underage accounts interacting with my nsfw content in this way.

note!! even if you've filled out the previous version or are already on my taglist, please fill it out again. I will be deleting all @ on my current list & starting over from scratch. I will not be making an exception for anyone.

— taglist form link

[akumanoken]

I want to be touched gently, lovingly, I want to be shown m the most important person in the world to somebody. I want to feel beautiful, Even if everything's mussed up and my face is ruddy with tears. I want to be told my voice is like music, even if it's just squeals and squeaky notes, Even if it's y rough and hoarse. I just want to feel like I belong to someone, Even though I'm my own person. I want to be loved and worshipped but also undone and remade by hand and lips. I just want to feel alive.

[miralyk]

just putting this out here for transparency: i don’t draw nsfw artwork nor have interest in drawing nsfw, at most i’d draw a joke alluding to such, but nothing explicit.

stop barging into my askbox/dms trying to pressure me to draw nsfw or fetish mine through requests—whether it be such exploitation to “lmao i KNOW you’re horny for [innocuous drawn subject] you freak, be honest op, ehuehue” kind of messages, it’s uncomfortable to be unsolicitedly treated as a porn content machine or accused of these things like that.

[ltlemon]

Beweeepp bwop bweop bep bep bop bep bweeeeeap bwamp. Bewmp.

LMAO

SORRY I JUST CLICKED ON THE NOTIFICATION IN THIS 👇IMAGE