#so I’ve been relearning how to ride a bike

[snuize]

Shitty oc doodles and some insane rewriting while everyone’s asleep shh

[insertyourselfhere]

Body Swap Part 4

Description: You got back from your mission with Hobie who you found out is actually the coolest guy you know. Gwen had been training with Jessica and was assigned on her first mission which was with you since you and her knew each other so well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had walked back into the Spider-Society when Gwen came running up to you, you smiled seeing she had a different look on her face from when last saw her and it was the look of sheer joy.

“Been busy since I’ve been gone?” You asked her, she was skipping next to you.

“You could say that, I’m just excited” She said pushing into your side, you pushed her off you and kept walking until you saw Jessica waiting for you on her bike.

“Well if it isn’t our 2 newest recruits, look at you Gwen your practically glowing” She let out a small chuckle and Jessica looked between you, she had a small feeling it wasn’t about the mission but something else entirely, she had a smirk on her face.

“Do I get to know the big secret now” You said looking at Jessica, her smile turned into a serious look.

“You get to take Gwen on her first mission, but make sure you watch her, it’s her first mission and neither I or Miguel can go and watch you”

“Ah look Jessica we’ll be fine whats the worse that could…” Jessica pushed her finger against her lip and sighed. “As a Spider you know we don’t put that out in the universe” You mumbled an apology and looked back at Jessica.

“There is an Electro running around in universe 98786 that we need you to capture and bring back here so we can send them back home” You nodded and grabbed Gwen.

“Alright you ready” You said locking in the universe number. She nodded her head and put her mask on, you following suit.

“Oh by the way that universe is a little different there isn’t a Spider there but just go in and get Electro and get out” You both nodded your heads and went through the portal.

As soon as you landed there you both quickly found the highest point in the city and went to start making your way towards that point, before you could though you could hear noises coming from around you and your tingle was going haywire.

“Can you sense anything Gwen?” You asked your voice coming out higher than normal, You coughed trying to get the tickle in your throat out but you realised there wasn’t one.

“Whats wrong with my voice?” You said once again your voice sounding a bit different.

“Ah Y/N we have a problem” You heard what sounded like your voice, your head moved as quick as it could beside you and you were in shock at what you saw.

“Please tell me this is a mirror” You begged seeing your body now standing above you slightly, your head shook and you face palmed.

“This is so not happening” Your voice said, that came from your body but not you.

“Did we swap bodies again!?” You asked staring at the obvious answer. Your head nodded and you let out the biggest sigh you’ve been holding.

“Why is this happening again?” Gwen asked from your body, you shook your head.

“Maybe we thought everything was fixed but it’s not, anyway we’re gunna have to hope going back to the Spidey-Society will help us out” You said fingers crossed, it was a lot harder for you to move in Gwen’s body sometimes you had to relearn it, it had been awhile since you had been in her so you had to get used to her flexibility again.

“Alright we’ve done this before, it’ll be like riding a bicycle, lets get through this and we can try sort out this mess” Gwen said as she took a few steps forward trying to get a feel for your body again. You nodded and did the same thing trying to get used to gwen’s body, you both searched for a high vantage point trying to make your way over there, you began thwipping through the city, you forgetting how lighyt and agile Gwen was throwing yourself a little too far ahead, meanwhile Gwen wasn’t used to your body NOT being so agile and promptly smashed herself into a building.

“Gwen are you okay!” You asked grabbing onto the nearest building and hanging out there. You saw her give you a thumbs up and began thwipping through the city again, you made it finally to the top of a building and you could feel your Spider Sense going off again.

“Why is this happening, is your Spidey sense going off?” You asked Gwen, she nodded her head grabbing onto it trying to stablise herself.

“Something feels very wrong”

Suddenly a lightning strike came close to both of you, Gwen pushed you back with her hand and you backflipped landing gently on your feet. You looked towards where the strike came from only to see Electro standing there staring at you both.

“Hey buddy we’re here to get you home, so how about we skip the fighting and…oof” before you could finish what you were saying you were hit with a shock that shut down your nervous system causing you to collapse unable to move.

“Okay I guess we’re fighting then” Gwen said, she jumped towards the electro and managed to kick them in the face, you were trying to get over the shock in your body and promptly got up recovering quickly.

‘Okay so you know Gwen’s body you’ve seen gwen’s body you know how to fight in Gwen’s body just like riding a bike’ You leapt off the building towards Gwen and Electro and managed to web around him.

‘Please don’t think that so loud again, I don’t want to know if you’ve seen my body’ You got distracted and slipped off your web falling, Gwen let go of Electro and shot off the side of the building managing to catch up to you, catch you and land cleanly on the ground.

“Sorry” You mumbled blushing furiously under the mask, she was blushing too and promptly put you down. “Lets focus and get this Electro” You nodded and she grabbed onto you.

“Im going to throw you up there now” And she did, you forgot how strong you actually were and she threw you way pass Electro, you managed to look back and web onto Electro, throwing him towards the tower you were both on before and knocking him out cold.

Gwen came up to you and you both webbed him up. You grabbed a hold of him dragging him behind you. Just as you were about to leave you got a call from Jessica.

“Well done! You managed to snag your first catch! How did it feel Gwen” Before you could answer Gwen started talking “it wasn’t all that bad” You looked at her and her mouth was hanging open, you looked back at Jessica and then smiled. “Exactly like Y/N said it wasn’t all that bad!” She looked between the 2 of you and had another smirk on her face, the one you saw before.

“Well bring em in, we don’t have anything lined up at the moment so you can go back to your dimensions and rest, Gwen we might need to think of alternative…” Before she could finish you interrupted her. “I’ll go with Gw…Y/N so I can get some pointers ya know” Jessica looked between you 2 again this time her eyes were wide. You nudged Gwen in the ribs. “Yes I think we should debrief in my universe, with my Aunt, and um talk about how we can better punch people” You facepalmed so hard when she said that, Jessica gave you both a weird look but you both just kept the smiles on your faces under your mask. “Okay you 2, well good job, drop them off and then head back” She got off the screen and you let out the biggest breath you were holding.

“Talk about how we can better punch people!?” You yelled looking at gwen, she was shaking her head, her face in her hands ashamed. “I am under pressure, I can’t perform under pressure” She said, you threw your hands in the air and stood on the side of the building, making your way down you were mumbling and throwing your hands around. Gwen looked at you and couldn’t help but laugh cause although you were standing on the side of the building Electro’s face was scraping against the brick. You gave her a shocked look and then laughed thwipping away.

You made it back to Spider-Society, dropped off electro and then proceeded to head back to your dimension with Gwen in tow. You got to your apartment which was only like a swing away since you landed on the apartment across from you, you moved into your window with Gwen in tow, before you entered the living room you grabbed a hold of Gwen.

“Oh by the way, I forgot I haven’t told my Aunt about the whole Spider thing, I haven’t really had the chance too. So we have to catch her up and then throw this on top of it” Gwen nodded and before you could open the door into the lounge your Aunt came bursting in, she had a frypan in one hand and pepper spray in the other.

“THERE YOU ARE Y/N” You gulped in Gwen’s body knowing full well you were about to get the talking to of a lifetime, she brushed pass you though and went straight to Gwen who was in your body, Gwen pushed herself against the bed and began climbing the wall trying to get away from your Aunt.

“I HAVE BEEN HERE WORRIED SICK, ITS BEEN WEEKS SINCE I LAST SAW YOU, NO CALL, NO TEXT, NO NOTE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD AND THEN YOU JUST SWING BACK IN HERE LIKE NOTHING MATTERS…” She was going off, even you were contemplating running away in Gwen’s body cause of how terrified you were. Before she could keep going though she turned around and saw you standing there.

“Oh hello, sorry you had to see that I had to reprimand my niece/nephew. My name is A/N what’s your name, hang on, who are you? WAIT A MINUTE! IS THIS WHY YOU’VE BEEN GONE THIS WHOLE TIME WAS FOR A GIRL, A SPIDER-GIRL WHO LOOKS AMAZING BY THE WAY I LOVE YOUR SUIT, WHY HAVE I SEEN THAT SUIT BEFORE, Why do I know that suit….” She stopped yelling and looked at you, you took of your mask and she ran over with tears in her eyes.

“Oh my god GWEN this is what my good for nothing, I can’t this has been too much, your back and you’re okay” She pulled you into a hug and you pushed her off you.

“Sorry A/N I’m not Gwen” She looked back towards your body and then pointed at you and Gwen.

“Have you swapped again?” She asked and you nodded, she promptly sat down on the ground, frypan in one hand and pepper spray still in the other.

“You’re grounded by the way” She said looking at you. She got back up off the floor and made her way to your body with Gwen inside.

“I am so sorry that I went off like that Gwen I missed you” She said gently. She pulled her into a hug and you could see Gwen missed her too. You let out the biggest sigh making your way into the lounge and throwing yourself on the couch. In a matter of seconds you didn’t realise how tired you were and you fell straight to sleep hearing Gwen and A/N talking about your adventures.

“Get up” You heard, you woke up with a jolt and stretched.

“Sorry I didn’t realise how tired I was” You said rubbing your eyes, you stood up feeling taller than before and sure enough you were back in your own body.

“Thank god” You said feeling the familiar muscles flex.

“Tell me about it” Gwen said from the lounge, you could see she was still in her Spidey suit where as you were changed into your pyjama’s you blushed slightly realising Gwen had changed you and put you to bed.

“Gwendy I missed you!” Your aunt said running towards Gwen who accepted the hug.

“Yes its me this time!” She stood up after they finished hugging and made her way into the kitchen, she saw the 2nd mug already laid out for her and began sipping her coffee. You smiled at the scene and walked towards your Aunt who had a scowl on her face.

“This changes nothing Y/N you are still in a lot of trouble, Gwen here explained everything to me” You grabbed a bowl of coco pops and sat down next to your Aunt.

“A Spider Society, run by a cowboy vampire?”

“A ninja vampire”

“A villain more like it, dude looks so evil” you said out loud, earning a small laugh from Gwen.

“Think of the most evil thing you can A/N and like triple it, that’s what Miguel looks like, but buff” Gwen said, she grabbed some teaspoons and stuck them in her mouth mimicking Miguel’s teeth, you took another bite of your coco-pops.

‘How can you be so beautiful and goofy at the same time’ You thought, Gwen started coughing from surprise and your eyes widened. You knew you couldn’t play this one off this time so you just stopped thinking and ate some more coco-pops. She sipped her coffee her face still 50 shades of red (Ya pervs).

You Aunt noticing the tension got up and grabbed her stuff. “Well you 2 lovebugs I am off to work, you enjoy your day relaxing” You shot your web at her gently but she dodged it before she left. She left the apartment leaving you and Gwen to deal with the awkward silence yourselves. Once you finished your bowl you cleaned your area and ushered to her if she had finished, she nodded so you cleaned your plates and put them away.

“We should get you some clothes” You said to Gwen, her face still have a light pink tinge to it nodded. “As much as I want to run around in this I really want a shower so badly” She said and you agreed, grabbing a coat for yourself, you looked in amongst all your clothes to find a varsity jacket of yours that was a bit smaller than all your others and you gave it to her.

“It’s a it cold out, not quite winter but its getting there” You said blushing slightly, you had other people wear your jumpers but this one felt a bit more special to you. She agreed and put it on covering her Spider suit and heading out with you.

You weren’t wrong it was a bit cold, you went straight to the mall and began shopping for some clothes. “What do you like wearing?” You asked trying to start a conversation. “You’ve seen my wardrobe” She said and you nodded, so you took her to the most gothic looking place you could and she laughed. “Yeah I feel right at home” You began helping her shop, you found some jeans, a couple of tops, other things she needed. Before you finished up though you noticed another pair of shoes she might want, teal coloured chucks, you grabbed those secretly and paid for them.

“Thank you for these clothes, I cant exactly go back and get my own” She said, you saw the solemn look on her face and grabbed her hand.

“It’s okay! You can pay me back, by watching all my favorite movies for like a month” You said smiling at her, her face changed from a solemn look to an excited one she nodded but then grimaced. “I’ve seen your collection though and I don’t know how many more action movies you can have” You gave her a look and pushed her gently in the side “Are you kidding action movies are the best and you have to now” She laughed and pushed you back.

“Yo Y/N!” You stopped walking and looked in the direction of the sound seeing your school friends yell out to you, You waved and they waved you to come over. You rolled your eyes and looked towards Gwen. “Is it okay if we go over for a few minutes I promise and then we’ll get out of here?” She smiled and nodded, you grabbed her hand and walked towards them waving.

“Hey guys what are you up too!” You asked, the smiled at you and Gwen “I guess we could ask you the same thing, I thought I saw your letterman, is she your girlfriend” Your face went pale you forgot about your jacket and so did Gwen, even though she had changed and managed to get her own clothes she was still wearing your jacket.

You laughed nervously. “Well I asked you guys first so answer my question” You said and they laughed at how awkward you were. “Well unlike you we’re just hanging around here, about to go see a movie if you guys want to come” They said “Nah we’re okay we gotta go home, Gwen got herself some new clothes and we’re hungry so we’re about to leave but thank you for the invite” Gwen looked up at you with a confused look and you looked at her pleading saying that you didn’t want to go with them. “Oh yes, we have big plans today actually Y/N here was going to let me teach them ballet” You whipped your head back towards her and then your friends. “Ballet?” They asked and you nodded your head, she was giggling cause you did say you wanted to learn. “Yes Ballet! Do you know how cool of a skill it would be to move like a ballerina, they’re so poised all the time I would love to learn Ballet” You took that well, it seems she wanted to embarrass you a little but you were genuinely excited.

“Anyway like she said big plan’s but next time” You said grabbing Gwen’s hand again and walking away. Too quickly. “Okay Y/N they’re gone you can slow down now!” She said and she pulled her hand away.

“Sorry about that” You said shaking your head you were so nervous for some reason. “Was one of those girls the one you always spoke about?” She asked, holding her arm with her other arm, you looked confused at her. “What girl I never spoke about a girl?” You asked confused “The one you always thought about that you said was pretty, or that you couldn’t get over how beautiful they made short hair look” You were so confused until it clicked back when she could hear your thoughts about her.

“Um look I got you something!” You said trying to distract her, you pulled out the shoebox and handed it to her, she looked at you saying ‘this is not the time’ but she could tell you were excited so you opened the box.

“Oh my god these are amazing!” She sad grabbing out the teal chucks, she promptly put them on and placed her ballet shoes back in the box.

“Thank’s Y/N” She said and she hugged you, it was such a genuine hug that you returned as quickly as you could.

“Anything for you” You whispered and you meant it.

[somelocusts]

I told my dad I wanted to relearn to ride a bike. I learned once when I was in elementary school, but it’s been a while. He said okay, let me take his bike out after midnight when there were no cars on our street until I could afford a bike of my own. I bought a helmet and some safety lights just in case. On my way out to try it, he told me how to change gear.

I said, “Gear?”

He told me it’s a 10-speed, like I used to have. I told him I never had a 10-speed bike, and asked how to tell what gear I’m in at the start.

He said, “Eh, don’t worry about it. You’re only riding for a little bit, so you won’t need to know right now.”

I asked if there was anything else I needed to know about a 10-speed bike. He said no.

Go out on the road with my dad’s bike. I spend about five minutes practicing mounting and dismounting the bike. Finally, I decide to start riding. I mount the seat and put my foot to the pedal. The moment my foot touches the pedal, I learn that the bike is geared way faster than any bike I’ve ever ridden. Before I can realize what’s happening, I’m facing downhill. I live on a big hill. The biggest hill in our neighborhood. I apply the breaks. Except the thing is, a 10-Speed bike and a kids bike use different breaking systems, so my backwards pedaling is doing nothing. And I’m going down a sharp hill on a bike that got a pretty good boost at the start. The adrenaline definitely screwed with my perception of time, but I definitely feel like I was going very fast. Mind you, this was my first time riding a bike since my age hit double digits, so I am wobbly af and barely controlling anything. Anyway, this went on for about a half mile through an intersection before the change in slope finally killed my momentum enough for me to bail.

My dad thinks this story is very funny. I probably will too when the adrenaline finally wears off.

[lorichu]

Just because something is a common trope doesn’t make it inherently unproblematic. Tropes are a type of shorthand used to keep creators from having to reinvent the wheel and consumers (for lack of a better word) from having to relearn how to ride a bike. This shouldn’t have be said, but there is a LONG AND TERRIBLE past of tropes being used extremely maliciously, sometimes without intent and others very deliberately so. 

I am coming from a wildly different personal background than a lot of the people who have been hurt, but as someone who grew up with and has recently been trying to escape/distance myself from an abuser, I think I finally also understand why it was that I always disliked the “uwu fluffy sweet wholesome” take on the pet trope. It’s gross, that’s my stance on it. The closest I’ve come to writing anything even remotely related to the topic is my story, Terrarium, which turned out to be one of my darker ones. 

Also on another note, being able to critique and think critically of media you consume is a completely free thing to do! I don’t care if you’re the only person in the entire world who cares about any given thing, but you should call out the parts that are bad or problematic even if you like the rest of it. 

None of this has to do with taste or the endlessly annoying “SFW vs NSFW” debate, but real people who are marginalized and have been harmed. Again, I am probably not the right person to do this, but I’ve had a lot on my mind the past day or so, and I wanted to say something. 

[drea-46]

02.03.22

Part 1

Easy: I only have these two ladies bycicles left. Is that ok?

Vivien: It’s no problem for me at all. What about you, Mr Lassner?

Tobias: Mr Lassner was actually looking forward to a joyride in a car

Vivien: Don’t be such a baby. A bike ride, hm? We have never done this together before

Easy: Well?

Bambi: Do you need a car?

Vivien: No!

Tobias: Yes, we do!

Bambi: Well, the flatshare car isn’t ready yet but I’ve got a replacement vehicle. The keys are at the workshop and the car is parked over there

Tobias: You are my hero!

Vivien: No! I really want to do the bycicle tour

Tobias: Yeah, but why pedal when there is a more comfortable way?

Bambi: True thing!

Vivien: Get on the bike, Lassner

Bambi: Well, 1:0 for Vivi, so get on there

Vivien: It’s so great, right? It almost smells like spring already

Tobias: I can definitely smell it

Vivien: Hm?

Easy: Enjoy your ride!

Vivien and Tobias: Thanks

Bambi: If I’m honest, I can smell it a bit, too

Easy: Bye!

Tobias: Nothing! Everything is fine. Nothing to see here! I’m fine

Bambi: Let me help you up

Easy: You aren’t sabotaging your bike ride, are you?

Tobias. Well, somehow I am. Looks like I forgot how to ride a bike

Bambi: What? Honestly, Tobias, this is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard from you

Tobias: No, for real. It was like I’ve never been on a bike before

Vivien: When did you last ride a bike?

Tobias: Well, a couple of years ago

Vivien: Oh wow, then your brain must have forgotten how to do it after your stroke. You have to relearn it

Tobias: Are you for real?

Vivien: Yes, that happens

Bambi: Then it’s just like what happened to me a couple of years ago. I didn’t know how to ride a bike either. And who did help me in the end? You here and you

Easy: Right!

Tobias: What about a car ride?

Vivien: Nope

Translation @happyladybug93

[stawscweam]

I stopped taking my medication a few months ago. Also stopped seeing my psychiatrist and therapist. I’m ignoring my issues and trying to just force myself to keep going at this point.

I’m drinking water, my dad and I are going to ride our bikes together for exercise, and my mood has been great lately because I’m fully entranced by ME.

Once I’m done with the trilogy, I’m probably just going to admit myself into a hospital, regardless if my mom gets me insurance or not.

She’s made it clear she doesn’t care about my life, so why should I care about sparing her from dealing with my medical bills?

The problem is is that I do care. A lot. I care so much about everything and everyone. I get overwhelmed by minor things so easily, because I need to be in control of everything at all times.

Hopefully I get some help. Or not. I don’t know. I’ve been just enduring. Surviving, I guess. It would be nice if I could relearn how to live again, but that seems highly unlikely at this point or ever, honestly.

This is why I want to be a robot. Life would be so much simpler, I swear. (╥﹏╥)

[kingreywrites]

Make my messes matter - Chapter 3 - Learning

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 1670

Summary: A series of seven ficlets focused on Rapunzel learning to navigate life in different ways after living eighteen years in a tower, with Gothel as a mother.

1. Touching - 2. Arguing - 3. Learning

Read on ao3

The discovery that probably surprised Rapunzel most when she left her tower, was that she was smart - smarter than the average person, in any case. Not that she thought herself especially slow but, without any other frame of reference than what Gothel had told her, she thought that she was nothing much, compared to her mother.

Despite the years, Rapunzel still remembered learning to read as a young child - mostly because she had been so bad at it. Mother had explained every letter painstakingly and yet, Rapunzel hadn't memorised them enough and messed up the next day. Mother had been upset, and that made her tired, and really Rapunzel, you'll be the death of me, don't you love me-

Rapunzel preferred books, anyway. Because she could read any information again and again, until she understood. And again, because she had nothing else to read. And again, and again, until she knew it by heart. She was also good at recognising patterns, and at creating new games and contraptions to spend the time. She hadn't thought much of it, really, until one of her tutors had noticed her skills and decided to go to her parents about it.

Apparently, not everyone had studied the movement of the stars like she did. And not everyone was as good as she was at adapting her knowledge to real life. Her parents had been exastic, and her tutors were happy to give her tougher subjects to study - which she was also happy to discover! Though, to her opinion, they were blowing this way out of proportion.

"I don't get what's the problem," Eugene said when she complained about it, "you're amazing! Of course they noticed that!" His sentence was punctuated by Pascal's loud squeak of affirmation.

Rapunzel smiled and rolled her eyes but, since she had her head in Eugene's lap, he didn't notice. She might have come straight from her lessons to the library, where she knew she would find him, before laying down on him and blurting out what was bothering her. She didn't regret it, though, because being with him helped her calm down a little. Honestly she was flattered that her tutors thought her to be a quick learner - she only wished they hadn't gone directly to her parents.

"I just had a lot of time on my hands," she finally answered as Eugene slowly stroked her hair, "but really, I'm-"

Slow, lazy, naive, a failure, a voice whispered in her mind, that sounded like a mixture of her own and Gothel's. She clamped her mouth shut and breathed deeply - she knew, now, that Gothel was a liar. She knew it upset a lot of people when she repeated those lies, so she was working hard not to do it.

She wasn't fooling Eugene, however, but he said nothing, waiting for her to be ready to talk. She sat up and he let her go easily, but she only did it to reposition herself in his arms, hiding her head in the crook of his neck. She felt his chest rising and falling with his breathing and, slowly, her tongue untied.

"I don't feel like I'm special, but everyone keeps saying I am," she murmured, and Eugene tightened his arms around her. She had a feeling he was trying hard not to assure her that she was indeed special, and she appreciated it. "There's so much I still don't know, and I'm worried- I'm worried that they'll be disappointed once they see me struggle if they expect too much of me."

"I think I get that," Eugene answered when it was obvious she wouldn't say more, "but I also think that the one putting the most pressure on you is yourself, Sunshine. Everyone is happy that you're adapting way faster than could be expected, but you're already worried about a failure you didn't make yet."

His words rang true, but she wasn't sure what to make of them. So she stayed silent, and he kept hugging her as long as she needed it, Pascal's weight on the top of her head another source of comfort.

For Rapunzel, failure had never been a possibility, but a certitude. No matter how hard she tried, how meek she was, how much she listened, she would always -always- do something to displease her mother. The only control she had over that was over the size of the actual failure, but her mother's constant disappointment still bit harshly at her confidence in her learning abilities. And now that she had seemingly everything to learn, everyone's confidence ironically put more pressure on her shoulders - it was all confusing.

It all came to a head when Arianna - her mom - proposed to teach her how to swim. The topic had come up at breakfast, when her mom had proposed that they could go to a nearby lake, and Rapunzel had stumbled over her words. Her parents immediately backtracked, as they always did when they worried about upsetting her, but Eugene had suggested that she would need to learn to swim at one point and, one thing leading to the other…

"Oh, cold," Rapunzel chuckled as she joined her mom in the water. Pascal, who wanted to come with her, put one little paw in the lake and decided that he'd be better off on dry land, which made Arianna laugh.

"Don't worry, your body will adapt to the temperature quickly. You know, I used to come here a lot when I was a kid," Arianna smiled softly.

This is the fourth time I am touching a body of water in my entire life, Rapunzel thought, but didn't say. She hadn't know her mom for a long time, but she already hated the sad glint that appeared in her eyes whenever Rapunzel mentioned her life in the tower. Arianna obviously loved her a lot - they just didn't know how to deal with each other quite yet.

"So, swimming!" Arianna exclaimed awkwardly. "What do you know about it?"

"I've seen Eugene do it," Rapunzel answered eagerly, mimicking the movement of his arms, "and I managed to swim for a little while, but it wasn't much."

She didn't add the part about the flooding cave, or the near death experience, or the feeling of being swept away by the current until Eugene grabbed her hand and pushed her toward the river bank. She didn't think her mom would appreciate it.

Arianna spent the next hour helping her find her footing in the water, teaching her the different ways she could float and move around. By the end of it, any hint of awkwardness had disappeared between them both, and they were sharing little anecdotes while laughing. They were in deeper water now, but Rapunzel felt confident that she wasn't going to drown - the most important thing Arianna had taught her was that staying calm was the key to swimming.

And of course that, in her new found confidence, she wasn't careful enough with her footing and fell right into the water - and of course, as she went down, she panicked and kicked her mother accidentally.

She barely breathed as she surfaced. "I'm so, so sorry," she babbled, helping her mom get up again and cringing at her now dishevelled state.

"Sweetheart it's-"

"I know you told me the ground was slippery, I really should have been more careful but I won't do it again-"

"Honey-"

"-and, I mean, you taught me so much already, and I listened to you, I swear, but-"

"Rapunzel," Arianna exclaimed, putting both of her hands on her shoulders, "it's fine, I'm not angry. You simply slipped, it happens."

Rapunzel laughed, her voice a little too high as her heart was still beating too quickly in her chest. It was a simple mistake, nothing big, but her body reacted as if her mothe- her mom was going to hate her for it. Which was frankly ridiculous, she told herself firmly, trying to wrangle her emotions back under her control.

"I- Rapunzel, even if you made a mistake because you didn't listen to me, I wouldn't be mad," Arianna continued softly, "god knows I didn't listen to anyone's advice when I was your age."

Here it was, that sad glint her mom always got in her eyes when she was thinking about Rapunzel's life in the tower - exactly what she had wished to avoid. Rapunzel sighed, feeling her shoulders slump, the gentle movement of the water around her a strangely soothing sensation. She knew Eugene and her mom were right - knew that she was too hard on herself, too competitive also, wanting to prove to everyone that they didn't need to explain themselves multiple times. But when she kept pushing these feelings away, hoping for them to disappear, she wasn't fixing anything.

"I'm sorry," she finally sighed, feeling like being honest was the only solution. "I'm not used to people explaining things to me. Gothel- she wasn't the most patient and, as soon as I could read, I learnt most things by myself. This," she smiled, vaguely gesturing to the situation, "is pretty new to me."

Arianna's eyes had softened as she talked, and she looked relieved that Rapunzel was trusting her enough to tell her this.

"This is pretty new to me too. I mean, I did help my sister learn how to ride a bike, but it involved a lot more bickering," she joked, trying to lighten the conversation. "You're a much better student than she ever was!"

"I guess I am," Rapunzel accepted, and the afternoon finished on a nicer tone.

It was hard for her, to relearn how to learn. It was hard for her to not underestimate or overestimate her capacities, to be able to accept help when the only one she had before was herself. But after that day at the lake, she understood that, no matter what, she now had a family to support her, and friends, and Eugene.

She didn't need to be perfect - she just had to remember that.

[samthemarvelfan]

Goodbyes: Chapter 1

Summary: Ella Monroe is the Avengers newest recruit, handpicked by Steve Rogers himself. Indebted to him for reasons unknown, Cap pairs her up with Bucky Barnes. He is tasked with training her to relearn and hone the skills that have long since rusted. Bucky is cold and distant, and Ella can’t seem to break through the wall he’s built up for decades. He sees something in her though, and it scares him to death. Has the fate of these two strangers been sealed? …or will they always be longing…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC, feat Steve Rogers

Warnings: Angst, Bucky is a dick. darker themes may be discussed in future chapters, as always warnings will be provided

A/N: Oh man, Chapter one! Super nervous. Please be gentle on me! Kind of an AU, I’m picking and choosing who’s still around and completely ignoring Thanos’ existence (...for now?)

You never expected Steve to call you. To cash in that favor you said you owed him a thousand times over. For you there was no hesitation, Cap needed your help and you’d do whatever it took.

When you met him in Upstate, New York he explained everything. The Avengers—or what’s left of them, needed more bodies. HYDRA was back, thinking the world was at a weak point. Knowing far too well what they were capable of, you didn’t hesitate to help in any way you could.

Now, weeks later, you’ve settled in on the compound and your ready to start training. Steve thought it best to get you back into the swing of things slowly, rather than dropping you in on a mission you weren’t physically or mentally prepared for. You agreed.

The rapid beeping of an alarm fills your ears. You let out an audible groan before propping yourself up on your elbows, and quickly look at the time.

5:15 AM.

You say a silent prayer to yourself, hoping your body can learn to readjust to these early morning.

A small electronic tone echoes throughout the room. “Good Morning, Miss Monroe.” FRIDAY says kindly.

“G’Morning.” You yawn.

“Captain Rogers is waiting for you in the East courtyard. He’d like you to put on the clothes he left with you yesterday.”

You nod, “Thank you, tell him I’ll be right there.”

You glance at the clothes laid out on your dresser. This is the outfit Cap had referred to as the ‘standard issue’ for recruits. Black tactical pants, boots, and a dark gray t-shirt.

Once you were dressed you threw your hair up in a pony tail and stared in the mirror. It had been years since you had been referred to as a recruit, and now that’s exactly what you were.

Nonetheless, you were grateful for the opportunity, and determined to make the best of it. Steve has become such a close friend of yours over the last few years and you trusted him with your life. He’d never put you through something he know you couldn’t handle.

Down several sets of stairs and corridors, you made it to the East wing and push through the double doors leading to the courtyard.

There he was, Captain America in all his glory. He was already in a conversation with someone when you approached him, which you thought was odd considering it was 5:30 in the morning.

“Hey, Ella.” He said softly, embracing you in a tight hug. “You ready?”

You nod quickly, “Nervous, but ready. Definitely ready.”

A smile settles on his lips, as it does yours before there’s a throat clear next to you. “Oh right, my fault. Ella this is—“

You cut him off, “Sergeant Barnes, right?”

The man looks at you almost impressed. “You know me?” He asks.

You shake your head, “No, but I make an effort to get familiar with who I might be working with. In this case it just happened to pay off.” You smile.

James Buchanan Barnes was one of the first people you read up on when you moved in. You’d heard of him. HYDRA’s very own Winter Soldier; the assassin you’d been forced to study in your old life.

His eyes don’t leave yours, not until Steve slaps his shoulder. “Bucky here is my oldest friend, I’ve asked him to help train you.”

Your smile falters for a moment, “Oh, my mistake, I thought I’d be training with you, Cap.”

Bucky scoffed quietly. “Sorry to disappoint you.” He says staring into your eyes.

You smile shyly, embarrassed by your comment.

Steve smiled, “I wish, but trust me. You and Buck here will make a much better team. Besides he’d actually have time for you, these days I’m a little too cut and run for anybody.”

You nod, understanding of course. “Thank you again, Steve. I won’t let you down, I promise.”

He chuckles, “I know you won’t. I’m still so grateful for your help, Ella. You’re really saving us here.”

“If I could interrupt,” Bucky says, obviously irritated, “Steve you brought me here to train her, so I think I should start doing that.”

Steve nods, “Right, right. Good luck, you’re going to do great.” He leans down to hug you. You’re so small in his arms it almost laughable.

“Like riding a bike...” you say. Hoping he can’t hear the false confidence in your voice.

“Let’s go, Recruit.” Bucky spoke sternly. Steve smiled at you softly, before nodding you off as a signal to follow his friend.

He walked a few paces ahead of you the entire time you made your way to the training facility. The walk is quiet, the sound of crunching leaves and wind being your only companions...and it was getting on your damn nerves.

“How do you know Steve again?” Bucky says suddenly, shaking you from you mood.

His tone spooks you, “Uh it’s—it’s kind of a long story.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“I can give you the cliff notes if you’d like.” You joke, a small laugh escaping your lips.

“What?” He asks confused.

Right. Age gap. You remind yourself.

You clear your throat, “N-nothing,” you stutter, “Long story short is he saved my life...in more ways than one.” You murmur, keeping you eyes locked on your feet as you walk. “Why do you ask?”

Bucky nodded, “You two seemed close is all. I thought I knew all Steve’s...friends. But I guess you slipped his mind.” While it wasn’t clear what he was insinuating, you were sure it was meant to be insulting.

You decide to again, ignore it. Maybe he’s cranky because of the early morning, or maybe because he’s training someone he doesn’t know.

You decide to attempt to make small talk as a way to clear the air of any tension. “Thanks for doing this, Bucky. I haven’t been in the field since—“

“Sergeant Barnes.” He interrupts.

You look at him confused. “Sorry?”

He stopped in his tracks, “My name, to you, is Sergeant.”

The way he said ‘you’, made you eerily uncomfortable. You feel your stomach knot up instantly, “Right, sorry.” You say flatly. “Thanks all the same.”

He continued walking down the hill to a large field next to the training center, to your right you can see the sunrise over the lakes. A smiles lands on your lips as you take in the colors dancing over the calm waters.

Bucky’s watching you, taking in your every feature. He see the way your eyes dance watching the slowly rising sun. He sees the dimples next to your smile, and the way your lips curve at sight of something so peaceful.

But as soon as those thoughts enter his mind, he pushes them out.

“I’m doing it for Steve. For some reason, he’s made you his charity case of the month and now I got caught up in it somehow.” He spoke, refusing to look in your direction.

You turn away from the lake to face him, “Excuse me? Charity case?”

“You heard me.” Sergeant Barnes said flatly.

You scoff, “I’m not sure what you were told Sergeant, but I’m here as a favor to Steve. I’m not here to be insulted.”

Bucky turns to look at you. For the first time, you notice his eyes. They’re a beautiful cerulean blue and right now they are looking at you with absolute despise.

“Get this straight Cadet,” he said walking close to you. “We’re not going to be friends. This is my job, and training you is my current assignment. I’m going to that to the best of my ability and that’s it.”

You physically wince at his words. Your feelings were hurt instantly, and you didn’t know why. You’ve no reason to give two shits about what Sergeant Barnes thinks about you.

But you do. His disdain for you leaves you with a pit in your stomach.

Bucky knew it too, he knew his words cut you deep. Keeping you at arms length was going to be a necessity, though. He was going to try and tone it down, but as far as he was concerned—you just made his job a whole lot harder.

You watch Bucky with a blank stare, waiting too see if he’ll apologize or attempt to explain himself. Instead, he walks past you

“Warm up, start with laps. 15 around the field.” He ordered.

Your eyes widened. “Since when are 15 laps a warm up? This field is nearly half a mile around!”

“And?” He asked sarcastically.

You could tell he wasn’t going to budge, and you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you complain. “Fine.”

You sat down quickly stretching your legs out in front of you, bending from one side to the other.

Bucky narrows his eyes at you, “What the hell are you doing?”

You looked up at him to see him staring at you as you bend. “Stretching? If you’re going to make me run 15 laps at 6 am, then I think I shou—“

“You think you’re going to have time to stretch when you’re running though a mine field? Or when someone’s got a gun to your head?” He squats down so his eye level is with yours.

“Answer me, Cadet.” His face was inches from yours, his warm breath tickling your nose.

You swallowed hard. “N-no. I suppose I won’t.”

He backs away from you slowly standing once again, his tall frame looming over you. You hopped to your feet as quickly as you could, determined to prove something of yourself today.

“I want those laps and I want them now. Understood?” He questioned.

“Yes.” You couldn’t help the attitude in your tone.

“Yes what?” He asked, a glimmer of mischief in is eyes.

It took you a moment to realize what he was asking you. “Yes, Sir.” You reply quickly, turning on your heel and running to the edge of the field.

By the 10th lap, your lungs were on fire. By the 13th your legs were rubber. When you rounded the corner to start your 15th lap, you spotted him. He was watching you again, probably silently judging you.

“Asshole.” You whisper to yourself.

Your mind won’t shut up while you run. How could Steve think you and this guy would make a good team? You’re complete opposites, and his attitude fucking sucks.

Bucky walked over to you, meeting you once the last lap had completed. Immediately you fell to your knees in front of him, legs giving out on you completely.

“Let me guess, more stretching?” He teases, a half smile settling on his lips.

You cough a bit, your lungs desperate for all the oxygen they can take. “Oh look at that, he’s got a sense of humor.” You wheeze.

Bucky looked down at you, “Get up, Cadet.” He says.

You look up at him, “I’m sorry, my legs don’t feel like working right now. Please leave a message after the tone. Beeeeeeeep.” You jest.

For a second you think he’s going to laugh. The small crinkles by his eyes showing themselves, but as soon as they come they disappear.

“Laziness is something I won’t tolerate. Get up, that’s an order.” He scolds.

Pushing yourself off the ground with your palms you stand at attention. Not believing what he’s insinuating. “Lazy? Did you see what the hell you just made me do?” You ask, your voice shaking.

Bucky scoffs, “You think that was something to be proud of? It took you nearly an hour to do that.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “Sergeant Barnes this is my first day back on active duty in a very long time,” you rest your hands on your hips. “I’m sorry my stamina isn’t to your satisfaction.”

Bucky watched your mouth move, taking in the way your lips formed around each syllable that left them. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you and the way you defended yourself. It was honorable.

“Look, I don’t know what kind of spoiled life you came from, or if you’re just proud of being mediocre. But—“

He saw the look in your eyes change while he spoke, and he regretted every word.

“Stop apologizing.” Bucky says quietly. “Just do better.”

All you can do is nod as your heart sinks and the tears sting your eyes. You’re pissed off that you’re wasting tears on this asshole.

You stand and try to remind yourself that his opinion doesn’t matter to you, nor does it define you.

No matter how much you think it does.

Chapter Two: Distance

[atc74]

Take Me Home - The End

Square(s) Filled: Heaven for @spngenrebingo​, Reunion for @spntfwbingo​, Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory for @spnbromentbingo​

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, mentions of death, Dean taking a drive down memory lane, panic attacks, fluff, flangst, fluff, like floofy floof. 

Summary: Dealing with the aftermath of Chuck’s rage, Sam Winchester calls in additional hunters so they can keep fighting, until they can’t. Dean wakes up in a strange house but the resident isn’t a stranger. How will he cope with a reunion he never expected to have?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2835

Written for: @spnbromentbingo​, @spngenrebingo​​, @spntfwbingo​

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches, thank you for being so many things, but most of all, my true north. And to @alleiradayne​ who commented “Fuck you lady.” Thank you for everything. I love when I can pull that kind of response from you. I love you both!

A/N: This is the second and final in a two part series. I hope you made it through The Beginning to see it through to The End. This is my prediction for the end, not all of it, but part of it. Thank you for sticking with me, if you’ve gotten this far. I will make you feel things, but I promise to kiss it and make it better. Loosely based on the Phil Collins song Take Me Home. 

Take Me Home - The Beginning

Dean blinked, the sun shining bright through the curtains. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he stumbled out of bed to the bathroom. He didn’t remember any motel they ever stayed in being this nice. Sam must have gotten them a suite this time. He took care of business and brushed his teeth. Shuffling back into the bedroom, he stopped dead in his tracks at the framed photos on the nightstand. There was a picture of him and Sam and their parents at what looked like Sam’s graduation. And another of him and a woman...at their wedding? Panic set in, and he flew around the room. There were women’s clothes in the closet next to his. The other side of the bed had been slept in. He threw open the door and rushed down the hall. He wasn’t in any motel, or hotel for that matter. This was a home. And from the numerous photos on the walls, his home. One he shared with a woman he had married. 

“Fuck! Where the hell is my phone?” Dean ranted as went back and searched the bedroom. He flew down the stairs. His jacket! He searched the pockets but came up empty. On a small table by the front door were a set of keys and a wallet. He opened the wallet and it was him alight. His full legal name, but the address was in Lawrence, Kansas. 

“Babe? Everything okay?” A sweet, but concerned, somewhat familiar voice made its way to his ears. “Dean?”

Dean braced himself for the inevitable and followed the voice through the first floor of the house, taking deep breaths. He stopped. That was the last thing he remembered. He was thinking about Sam, then he was on his knees in front of his car, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. Garth was with him. Something about a panic attack. They’re on a hunt and something went wrong. He needs to find Sam. 

“Baby, are you okay?” She asked again, this time her voice was closer. Oh god, she was right in front of him now. He stared long and hard at her. Her face softer, fuller than he remembered. But, she couldn’t have been more beautiful. 

“Y/N?” He gasped and grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her tightly to his chest. “Oh my god! I’ve missed you so much!” 

“Dean! Stop it! You’re squishing us!” She laughed. A laugh he hadn’t heard in more than ten years. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just-I, god you’re a sight for sore eyes,” he stammered, taking her in. She looked healthy, happy, very pregnant. “You’re pregnant.”

“Are you feeling okay? You’re starting to scare me, babe.” Her voice was filled with concern. Something he had heard a million times before. 

“I’m-I’m okay. Just a really messed up dream,” he stuttered again. “You’re just so beautiful.” 

“Thank you, but right now I feel like a whale. Your son won’t let me sleep so I’ve been up for hours. I didn’t want to wake you,” Y/N smiled at him, pressing up on her tiptoes to kiss him. 

The kiss caught him off guard, but he recovered quickly, kissing her back with fervor. God, he missed her. She even smelled the same, and all the memories he had pushed down for a decade came rushing back to him. He pulled back, breathless, but didn’t let her go. 

He wanted to spend the entire day loving her and relearning everything about her. “Y/N, do we have any plans today?” 

“I’d love to say welcoming our son into the world, but I think he has other plans. So stubborn, you Winchester men!” she laughed. “Only your parents’ surprise fortieth anniversary party.”

“Forty years?” Dean marveled. He had glanced additional pictures on the walls of them. They looked happy. He needed to talk to his brother. “Have you seen my phone?”

“Yes, it’s right here on the counter where you left it to charge last night,” she handed it to him. “Oh, your brother called. He and Jess will be here by three. He had to work this morning, but promised they would be on time.” 

“Jessica?” Dean asked, his voice barely a whisper. Sam always wanted to go to Stanford, it only made sense that he would still be with Jessica. He got the normal life he always wanted and, from the looks of it, Dean got his apple pie life, too. 

“Now sit and eat breakfast. We’re starving!” Y/N set a plate and a cup of coffee on the table and Dean wondered how he got so lucky. Even if it was a monster-induced dream, it was much better than the last one. Where he and Sam were barely brothers, and their father was still dead. 

Dean listened as he ate, Y/N listing off the things they needed to get for the nursery and the cake they needed to pick up. He looked up and smiled at her, agreeing with everything she said. She leaned in and kissed him. The minute her lips touched his, it started as a flash, like a camera flash, but it morphed into almost a video clip. He saw their first date, when he proposed, their wedding day, the day they moved into this house. He pulled back quickly. “Whoa!” 

“I love that I can still get you going, even looking like an elephant!” Y/N giggled. 

“You’re even more gorgeous than the day I met you,” Dean whispered, squeezing her hand tightly in his. Dream world or not, that was the truth. 

 ~*~

“Damn, it’s good to see you, Sammy,” Dean mumbled, hugging his brother tight that afternoon. 

“Dude, I just saw you last weekend,” Sam laughed, returning his brother’s embrace. “You okay?” 

“I’ve been asking him that all day!” Y/N piped up. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Weird dreams last night is all,” Dean commented, brushing off their questions. “Jessica, come ‘ere.” He pulled her in for a hug as well, holding on a little tighter and longer than he should have. 

“We really need to get going if we’re going to be on time and get the cake,” Jessica told them, tugging on Sam’s arm. 

“Honey, there’s something I’ve got to do first. Can you ride with Sam and Jess, and I’ll meet you there?” Dean asked, kissing her sweetly on the lips. 

“Yeah. You sure you’re okay?” Y/N whispered in his ear when he hugged her. 

“Yeah, it’s a surprise. I’ll see you soon,” Dean promised. He grabbed his keys and was out the door before anyone else could protest. 

~*~

Driving down the streets of Lawrence made him queasy, and Dean had a strong stomach. He felt the now familiar tightness start growing in his chest so he pulled over. Slow, easy breaths, he told himself. He closed his eyes and the flashes returned. Sammy learning how to ride a bike, losing his first tooth, graduating from high school, then college and marrying Jessica, the girl of his dreams. Dean snapped back to reality. He hadn’t seen Sam look that happy in ages, maybe even ever. He knew he had to get out of this dream and wake up. He knew he needed to take out the djinn. 

But this life? The one the djinn created for him or he created in his own mind, it was damn near perfect. It wasn’t like the last time, or the first time. He hadn’t been able to find fault in this one. His parents were alive and still together, celebrating forty years of marriage. He and his brother were best friends, not strangers raised in the same house. He was married to the love of his life and they were expecting a child, a son. He had a steady job as a mechanic in a shop he owned with his dad. Winchester and Sons. And, someday, he’d be able to pass that on to his own son. If that’s what he wanted. Why would he want to leave? Here his brother is alive and Dean can protect him, like he failed to do in their real life. It’s an ordinary life. He worked when it was light and slept when it was night. He wasn’t looking to the horizon or wishing on a star. He had everything he wanted. 

He looked up from his spot at the curb to find he was parked in front of the house where he and Sam were born. He knew from his research earlier in the day that his parents had moved, but the last time he had been in that house, for real, was almost a decade ago when there was a case involving a young family and their mother’s spirit. Dean was glad they didn’t live there in this world, because he vowed he’d never step back inside that house. 

He checked the time and pulled away from the curb. He needed to be on time to the party, to see his parents. 

~*~

“I’ve got my girl and my boys and that’s all I’ll ever need,” John Winchester addressed the guests at the party. “Thank you.” 

Dean had never been so speechless in his life. But, he couldn’t think of a single thing to say when it was his turn to give a speech. He kept it vague, but that couldn’t stop the well of emotion inside of him. His voice broke and as soon as the toast was made, he darted out of the hall, letting out everything he had been holding inside for almost forty years. 

“Babe?” Y/N shuffled her way toward him and he hastily wiped the tears from his face. “You’re not okay.” 

“I will be. I promise. It’s just the dream, more like a nightmare, then all this. I’m just so happy for my folks, and I hope that that’ll be us someday. I’m already lucky, but if you keep me around that long, I’ll be the richest man in the universe.” 

“You’re such a sap,” Y/N giggled, leaning into him, yawning. 

“Want me to take you home?” He asked, one hand rubbing small circles on her swollen belly. 

“Not yet,” she replied. “Let’s go back inside.” 

Sam rushed out the door before they made it back inside. “I need to take Jessica home.” 

“What’s wrong? Is she okay?” Y/N’s worry bubbled to the surface. 

“Yeah, we’re great. We’re freaking awesome, but she’s a little green in the gills,” Sam smiled. 

Y/N elbowed her husband in the ribs. “Ouch! What was that for?” He looked down at her with a shit eating grin on her face. “Oh! OH! Sammy, you sly dog! Come ‘ere! Congratulations!” 

“Yeah, thanks. But she’s ready to kill me right now, so I gotta go,” Sam rushed toward the car. 

“I’ll go with you. I’m tired anyway,” Y/N followed behind him as quickly as she could only a week from her due date. She turned to Dean. “Have fun. Call me when you want a ride. I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” he smiled. His smile couldn’t get any wider. He was going to be a dad and an uncle. Life was pretty damn good. He picked up his feet and walked back to the building when it hit him. This wasn’t like the previous flashes he’d had that day. This was painful, and it knocked the breath from his lungs as he landed on his knees on the patio. His father, dead in his hospital bed after making a deal with a demon. Bobby, dead from a bullet to the melon. His mother. Charlie, Ellen, Jo, Y/N, and Sam. All of them dead, their lifeless bodies flashing before his eyes. He knew it must be the end. 

He collected himself enough to walk back into the party. Dean took a seat on the barstool. He didn’t know if his legs would hold him much longer. How could this life feel so real? And, why couldn’t he stay?

“What can I get for you?” The bartender asked. 

Dean looked up into the bluest eyes he hadn’t seen in too long. “Cas?”

“Sorry, the name’s Jimmy. Just moved here from Illinois. You guys throw one hell of a party,” he chuckled. “Sorry, my people skills are rusty. What can I get you?” 

Dean stared at Jimmy, at Cas’s vessel and shook his head, smiling. “Nah, I’m good.”

He graciously said goodbye to his parents and the other guests before stepping outside. He strode with purpose to his car, his beloved Impala. He opened the door and sat in the driver's seat like he had a million times before. He closed his eyes and prayed. “Cas. I’m ready. Take me home.” 

~*~

Dean blinked, the sun shining bright through the curtains. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he stumbled out of bed to the bathroom. He didn’t remember any motel they ever stayed in being this nice. Sam must have gotten them a suite this time. He took care of business and brushed his teeth. Shuffling back into the bedroom, he stopped dead in his tracks at the framed photos on the nightstand. 

“Y/N!” Dean bellowed from the bedroom, seeing she wasn’t in the bed with him. He ran down the hall and into the kitchen, seeing her bend over the sink. “Honey!”

“Hey, I was wondering how long you were going to sleep,” she chuckled, then grimaced. 

“What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” Dean rushed to her side, but slipped on a puddle of water on the floor. “Shit! Why the hell is there water all over the floor?” 

“Um, that’s not water. That’s my water. It broke about 10 minutes ago,” she laughed. “I’m sorry. That’s not funny, but you should see your face!” 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Dean scolded her, pulling himself up off the floor. 

“My contractions are still ten minutes apart, we have time,” Y/N replied. 

“Son of a bitch!” Dean ran out of the room, back upstairs. He changed his clothes in record time, grabbed Y/N a change of clothes, and pounded on the door to the guest room before he threw it open. “We’re having a baby! Get up!” 

With Y/N changed and comfortable in the front seat of the Impala, Dean threw the bags in the trunk before waving goodbye to his brother and Jessica. They would meet them at the hospital with their parents later. 

~*~

“Welcome to the world, Henry Samuel Winchester. Meet your family,” Dean beamed with pride as he introduced his son to his parents, as well as Sam and Jess. 

Visiting hours were almost over, and Y/N was exhausted. Dean walked John, Mary, Sam, and Jess out into the hall where they said goodbye and kissed Henry, promising to see him again the next day. Dean, walked back into the room, his son in his arms. Y/N was already asleep, and he took a moment to himself to sit back and just breathe. Since he had woken up that morning, the day had been a whirlwind, but he had never been happier. He didn’t know what breed of djinn conjured up this dream, but it was okay with him if it never ended. He didn’t mind this life. Not one little bit.

“Mr. Winchester?” A nurse was gently shaking him awake. “I’m going to take your son to the nursery so you and mom can get some rest, okay?” 

Dean blinked groggily in the dimly lit room, Henry sound asleep in his arms. He looked up at the nurse with trepidation. “Amara? What are you doing here?” He pulled Henry further from her reach. 

“Dean, I realized what Chuck was doing but I was too late to stop most of it. He’s gone, locked away and you’re safe,” she promised. 

“Safe? I’m in a freaking dream!” He hissed. “A monster-induced dream!”

“Not anymore,” Amara mused, a smile on her lips. “While your life on earth ended, yours and Sam’s, I couldn’t just wake you from the dream and let you rest in Heaven wondering.” 

“What are you talking about? I’m dead?” Dean gasped, tears welling up in his troubled eyes. 

“I’ve tried to right the wrongs that my brother did you. You’ve been a prisoner all your life. You’ll be happy here, with your family. This,” Amara whispered, patting Henry on the back, “this is your home, Dean.” 

“This is my heaven?” Dean muttered, shocked at her confession. 

“It’s what you’ve always wanted. Your parents, Sam, your family. Y/N. I created this for you, because you’ve done so much for the world and never asked for anything in return. This is my gift to you, Dean Winchester. Rest well,” Amara murmured and in a wisp of smoke, she was gone. 

“Honey, you okay?” Y/N yawned from her hospital bed. 

Dean rose from the rocking chair and settled Henry in her arms, before kissing them both. “I’ve never been better. I’m home.”

Did you like it? Did I redeem myself? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their fic and tell them, and others, how much you loved it. 

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean​​ @dolphincliffs​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​ @meganwinchester1999​​ @cherrycokegirls1​​ @closetspngirl​​  @roxyspearing​​ @flamencodiva​​ @blacktithe7​​ @sis-tafics​​ @just-another-busyfangirl​​ @evansrogerskitten​​ @amanda-teaches​​ @hannahindie​​ @wotinspntarnation​​ @winchesterprincessbride​​ @winecatsandpizza​​ @kickingitwithkirk​  @wi-deangirl77​​ @hobby27​​ @mogaruke​​ @gh0stgurl​​ @alleiradayne​ @idreamofplaid​​ @seenashwrite​​ @crashdevlin​​ @thoughtslikeaminefield​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @manawhaat​​

The Dean’s List/Jensen’s Jamboree: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​​ @maddiepants​  @adoptdontshoppets​ @mtngirlforever​ @supernatural-jackles​

[mrsmunsons]

Pick three numbers that end in 6 and answer those

Okay, here I go! ✨

26. Gum or breath mints? — Gum! I like to pop it (I try not to be obnoxious about it) and I like that it lasts longer than a mint, which just dissolves.

36. How old were you when you learned to ride a bike? — I think around 7. It’s been so long that if I were to try again, I’d basically have to relearn the process, though.

56. Something that ruins your appetite? — Honestly... a lot can. Anxiety or stress. Overall a bad mood. Um, but since this is asking for one thing: bad smells. The number of times I’ve walked to my front door smelling garbage because the dumpsters are near to our side of the lot is far too high. And once that smell is in my head, I want nothing to do with food.

[epochryphal]

abolition work

hm i haven’t been posting here much because 1. Work Busy and 2. local movement spaces being largely on facebook, plus 3. disclosing local geographic location on here is still a bit Hhhh

but yeah i’m fairly open about being california bay area, and am working on plugging into local orgs and have been doing some rad captioning gigs for various places on both coasts, and getting to witness really rad conversations around defunding, dismantling, abolition, alternative structures, and communal healing

big plug for Kindred Collective and healing justice, their work on the medical industrial complex, and the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network doing the deprogramming state collusion and relearning community care for social workers & healing practitioners

on surveillance, Hacking//Hustling is doing awesome work and talking about histories of police collaboration to criminalize public health surveillance, as is Red Canary Song,

highly recommend the Just Practice Collaborative’s mixtape on transformative justice coming out at the beginning of august

some great discussion by Mia Mingus and Mimi Kim along with Cat Brooks of Anti Police-Terror Project/APTP about the conflation of transformative justice, which seeks to transform systems that allowed/enabled harm to occur, with restorative justice, which seeks to restore the status quo that existed before the harm, and which the state is picking up on as a veneer of reparative work

and always always love for Critical Resistance and their amazing resources, and to the Abolition Journal Study Guide

for concrete steps to police abolition and things to call for from leaders, i recommend:

APTP’s & Justice Teams Network’s Black New Deal (here, there, and also here)

8toAbolition

MPD150 (who have a huge resource page!)

Critical Resistance’s demands

Movement for Black Lives/M4BL’s Interrupting Criminalization Toolkit

Repeal 50 (New York police misconduct protection laws)

other rad groups with resources include Survived & Punished, Community Justice Exchange, DecrimNow, FreeThemAll4PublicHealth, local Decarcerate ___ groups, Black Youth Project 100, INCITE!

other important names include Ruth Wilson Gilmore, Mariame Kaba, Kristina Agbebiyi, Kelly Hayes, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Kimberle Crenshaw, Mari Matsuda, Anoop Naya, Audre Lorde, Assata Shakur, Cornel West, Angela Davis, bell hooks, James Baldwin, Alice Walker, Charlene Carruthers, Rachel Cargle

my favorite demands right now are:

freeze police hiring, at minimum

decriminalize public existence (loitering, disorderly conduct, being in a park after dark, eating or drinking in public/on transit, riding a bike on the sidewalk, sleeping in public, littering, urinating in public, etc)

- these shouldn’t be misdemeanors!  there can be general public conduct agreements without criminalization, and with competent handling of homelessness

refuse to criminalize COVID-19 and decriminalize HIV/AIDS and end all health care information sharing with police

refuse to use facial recognition tech and end usage of “predictive” tech, license plate readers, etc (saves money too!)

fund public bathrooms and showers, including making existent facilities (eg YMCA, pools) available, and fund COVID sanitation staff

move duties out of the police:

- youth engagement

- community engagement

- re-entry from incarceration assistance

- parking enforcement

- traffic law enforcement

- health crisis response

- mental health crisis response

- homelessness response and services

- neighbor disputes

- trespassing enforcement

- domestic violence response

- transit fares and rules enforcement

 --> create new divisions that are unarmed, are not trained&licensed to use force or institutionalize/incarcerate, and are non-coercive

 --> start by creating a transition team to start doing this with a five-year plan, for example

*** in the meantime, disarm police responses to these!! ***

--> see CareNotCops.org

articles i’ve found valuable:

Confessions of a Former Bastard Cop on Medium

Who Should Pay for Police Misconduct on a legal blog

Domestic Violence & Defunding Police on Huffington Post

Tired Bad Cops First Look to Their Labor Unions on Washington Post

Who’s Afraid of Defunding the Police? on Salon

Defunding the Police: What Would It Mean for the U.S.? on NPR

Abolishing Policing Also Means Abolishing Family Regulation by Dorothy Roberts

The Color of Surveillance by Alvaro Bedeta (see also the conference’s materials)

article i need to take a moment to find a way around a paywall for lmao:  On Trans Dissemblance: Or, Why Trans Studies Needs Black Feminism

documentaries/videos i recommend:

Black America Since MLK: And Still I Rise on PBS

books i’ve learned about and super want to read include:

Blackballed: The Black Vote and US Democracy

Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical Experimentation from Colonial Times to the Present

How We Get Free: Black Feminism and the Combahee River Collective

Unapologetic: A Black, Queer, and Feminist Mandate for Radical Movements (by Charlene Carruthers with BYP100)

The Trials of Nina McCall: Sex, Surveillance, and the Decades-Long Government Plan to Imprison “Promiscuous” Women

Race After Technology: Abolitionist Tools for the New Jim Code

Dark Matters: On the Surveillance of Blackness (by Simone Brown)

Black Software: The Internet & Racial Justice, from the Afronet to Black Lives Matter

The Age of Surveillance Capitalism

Decarcerating Disability

No Tea, No Shade: New Writings in Black Queer Studies

Captive Genders: Trans Embodiment and the Prison Industrial Complex

Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics, and the Limits of Law (by Dean Spade)

Automating Inequality: How High-Tech Tools Profile, Police, and Punish the Poor

additional books i’m considering and have seen recommended:

Nobody: Casualties of America’s War on the Vulnerable, from Ferguson to Flint and Beyond 

An Indigenous Peoples’ History of the United States

Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America

When Affirmative Action Was White: An Untold History of Racial Inequality in 20th Century America

Me and White Supremacy

So You Want to Talk About Race

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race

Being White, Being Good: White Complicity, White Moral Responsibility, and Social Justice Pedagogy

The Condemnation of Blackness: Race, Crime, and the Making of Modern Urban America

Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong

Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City

The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America

A People’s History of the United States

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment (by Patricia Hill Collins)

Eloquent Rage (by Brittney Cooper)

Bad Feminist (by Roxane Gay)

Thick: And Other Essays

Real Life: A Novel

No Ashes in the Fire: Coming of Age Black and Free in America

Since I Laid My Burden Down

The Other Side of Paradise: A Memoir

The Summer We Got Free

Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood (by Trevor Noah)

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption

yeah!!

what/who are y’all reading/watching/listening to and finding helpful, or meaning to get around to?

[sneezyminniejo]

Hands are Stupid

I’ve been getting frustrated with myself lately and took it out on Jungkook. Don’t hate me

About a year ago Jungkook had sustained a Frontal Lobe traumatic brain injury on the right side. He was very lucky in that he didn't have any huge setbacks. He spent 4 months in the hospital doing intense physical therapy to relearn how to walk and use his hands. He can walk just fine now, but the thing that bugs him the most is that he never regained full use of his hands. 

If you were to ask him, he'd probably say he has about eighty percent function of his left hand and ninety percent of his right. In other words, unless you were paying attention, you wouldn't know that his hands didn't always cooperate with him. It didn't bother him too much during the day, except for when he was eating.

"DAMN IT!" Jungkook shouted as he dropped both his chopsticks and his food for the upteenth time during lunch. Yoongi just sighed and gave Jungkook an encouraging look. “Kook, it’s been thirty minutes and you’ve barely managed to eat a third of your food. Put down your chopsticks already and use a fork.”  Jungkook just glared at Yoongi before continuing his attempt at eating with chopsticks.

Jimin abruptly stood up and went to the kitchen. He returned with seven forks and started passing them out to each of the members. He received five questioning looks and one glaring look. He then said, “I think part of the reason Kookie is so resistant to using the fork is because he’d be the only one using it. If we all use a fork to eat, he won’t be the only one not using chopsticks.” Jimin looked over to Jungkook and could see that his resolve was starting to waver. 

Jungkook gave a small smile before speaking. “Thank you Chim. Being the only one using a fork is part of it. But it’s also the fact that I’ve been eating with chopsticks my entire life, and now I’m struggling to eat ramen with them. RAMEN! Either I can’t put enough pressure on the food so it drops, I put too much pressure on the food so it goes flying anyway, or when I am able to put enough pressure on the food my hand fails three bites in and I drop everything. It is extremely frustrating not being able to do simple things like this anymore. It almost feels like I’m losing a part of myself if I give in to using a fork to eat instead of chopsticks. Who even came up with the idea of eating utensils where you need to move parts separately yet in unison?!” Jungkook stopped to sniffle and wipe some tears away, as he had begun to cry.

Taehyung got up and wrapped Jungkook in a hug. “It doesn’t matter, Kook. You’re still our Jungkookie whether you can use chopsticks or not. If you want we try going back to physical therapy to see if it will help any, but there is no shame in eating with a fork.” The other five members nodded in agreement. Then, almost simultaneously, they put down their chopsticks and resumed eating with forks instead.

Namjoon chimed in, to try to help their maknae feel better. “ Lots of people can’t use chopsticks, Kook, and everyone that is able to use chopsticks has to learn. It’s almost like riding a bike, in that children might use training chopsticks like they would use training wheels before riding a two wheeled bike.” This was apparently the wrong thing to say as Jungkook angrily got up and stormed to his room.

Hoseok was the next to speak, “Joon, did you seriously forget that Kook can’t ride a bike anymore either?” At that Namjoon felt extremely guilty and went to Junkook’s room to apologize. A few minutes later they both returned to the table with tear-stained faces. Seokjin spoke up in that moment. “I know that Lunch is only half way over, but I was thinking for dinner I’d make some soup and rice with curry. Then for dinner we could have ice cream sundaes.” Jungkook laughed at that. “Of course hyung would think of a dinner menu where we would only use spoons. Thanks Jin-hyung.” Jungkook sat down and finally picked up his fork to eat. None of the other members said anything as they too picked up their forks and resumed eating.

[helluva-pilot]

2 for Reddie pleeease

One person stopping a kiss to ask "Do you want to do this?", only to have the other person answer with a deeper, more passionate kiss.

"I couldn't sleep," Eddie said, entering the room frantically. "Dude, why didn't you lock your door? You're in a creepy ass hotel. Do you want to get murdered?"

"It's not high on my list of things I want to happen tonight," Richie said, putting his glasses back. Once his glasses were on, he noticed that Eddie hadn't changed from earlier. He was still wearing the same polo and sweatshirt. He was shocked he wasn't already wearing matching pajamas.

Richie suddenly was very conscious of the fact that he was sitting on his bed shirtless. He reached down on the floor to grab his shirt that he had just recently taken off.

"Oh shit, did I wake you up?" Eddie asked. It seemed to be that he just noticed that Richie was in the room. He fidgetted awkwardly as his eyes lingered on Richie's chest. He noted that Richie had a broader chest than he had imagined, but he quickly diverted his eyes to the floor.

read on AO3

Richie shook his head as he pulled his shirt over his head. "I don't like sleeping in new places."

"You're home; this isn't new," Eddie said.

"It feels new. Like I'm relearning how to ride a bike. It should be easy, but it feels - different."

Eddie started pacing in front of Richie's bed. Richie's eyes followed him as he frantically walked back and forth. "It's so fucked up. And these memories keep flooding back, and I can't believe I forgot. I forgot who you were. I've watched your awful fucking stand up and felt nothing."

"Thank you, did you come here to insult me, or was there anything else?"

Eddie stopped pacing. "I can't sleep. I can't remember the last time I slept in an empty bed. Some nights I wished Myra wasn't there-"

"Is there even space in the bed for you with her there?"

"Oh fuck you, yes, my wife is larger. It's not funny."

Richie looked down. That might not have been his best way to find out more about why Eddie wished he had nights without her. He was genuinely curious because it was something that he couldn't wrap his mind around.

An empty bed had turned into a comfort for Richie. When he was younger, he always longed to have another person in his bed. He attempted to fill it with various flings, but no one ever seemed to fit quite right. Eventually, he stopped trying to find a person who could fill that space. He was able to fill the bed with his own thoughts and demons. There wasn't enough room for someone else.

"What things have you been remembering?" Richie asked in an attempt to change the topic.

Eddie sat down the edge of the bed. "That I broke my arm. I've always told people I've never broken a bone, but I did."

"I snapped your arm back in place," Richie said, slowly remembering more of that day himself.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "I don't think you actually helped."

"Probably not," Richie said.

"I remember riding my bike to your house when I couldn't sleep," Eddie said softly.

Richie looked over at Eddie. Those memories had always come back to him, and he felt relieved that Eddie had them as well. They were currently separated by maybe two feet, but it felt like a canyon of the past was between them. He wanted to lean over and take Eddie's hands within his own and tell him that it was okay. Instead, he kept his hands in his lap.

"You'd set your alarm so I could leave and get home before our parents would notice."

"Oh, my parents knew," Richie said.

"What?" Eddie said, looking at Richie.

"Yeah, good ol' Wentworth looked in my room one night and that there was another person in my bed. I was interrogated about it the next morning," Richie said. He laughed as the memory came back to him. His parents had attempted to stage a discussion about safe sex with him. Even after Richie told them that it was Eddie, his mother still said to him that he needed to be careful when he shared a bed with anyone. It was letting someone into your life.

"Well, my mom never knew. I always slept better with you next to me," Eddie said.

"Glad one of us did. You move like a puppy in your sleep," Richie said. That was only partially true. He stayed awake most of those nights because he was terrified. He was terrified of enjoying the fact that he had another boy in his bed.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Richie asked as he watched Eddie start to fold back the comforter on the other side of the bed.

"You can leave once I fall asleep," Eddie said. "My room's open."

Richie exhaled loudly. This, at the same time, was the best-case and worst-case scenario for how this night could have played out. It was something that felt familiar and terrifying.

"Dude, you're not even going to fucking ask?"

"No, I'm not, asshole," Eddie said as laid down next to Richie.

Richie laid as still as he possibly could. This bed was too small for them to be sharing. He was afraid that any slight movement would move Eddie or that he might accidentally touch him. That thought made Richie's heartbeat race so quickly he expected his watch to think that he was working out.

"What's your last memory of me?" Eddie asked.

Richie closed his eyes and tried to filter through all the memories that had come back to him. "We said goodbye on the kissing bridge."

"That's it?" Eddie asked.

Richie turned to look at Eddie. He really noticed just how close they were. He was able to see the wrinkles that had settled on his forehead in the years they spent apart.  It was easy to see how Eddie had grown into this person.  His face still held all the youth and wonder it did then, but a seriousness had settled in as well. He pondered if that was how he had decided to cope - becoming cautious and serious?

"Yeah, that's it," Richie said, bringing his gaze back to the ceiling.

"Oh," Eddie said softly.

Silence settled between the two of them. Richie heard the pounding of his heart. He hoped that Eddie couldn't hear it as well, as his heart smashed against his ribs.

Eddie shifted slightly, and his arm pressed against Richie's. Neither one moved away. Richie could feel the warmth from Eddie's body against his. He wanted to wrap his arms around Eddie like they did when they were children. It seemed so much easier back then than it did at this moment.

"You told me you loved me," Eddie said so quickly Richie wasn't sure he even heard what Eddie said.

"I said what?" Richie said louder than he meant. His snapped quicky towards Eddie.

Eddie rolled onto his shoulder to face Richie. "You told me you loved me. And I wouldn't let you kiss me because I wanted you to have a reason to see me again."

Richie struggled to breathe for a second.  He struggled to remember what the fuck Eddie was talking about.

"I don't remember that at all," Richie said slowly.

Eddie frowned. "I just thought you should know I remembered it."

"Thanks," Richie said so quietly Eddie wasn't even sure he heard him correctly.

Eddie placed his hand on Richie's chest. "Dude, it's okay. It was thirty fucking years ago. Like we were dumb kids who almost died together."

Richie rolled onto his side, looking at Eddie. It was almost as if the last 27 years hadn't happened at all. They picked up the pieces exactly where they had left them broken on that bridge. He felt exactly the way the did all those years ago when he was young.

The two stared at each other without moving. The air was so still that it almost seemed like neither one was breathing.

Richie closed his eyes in shock as he felt Eddie grab his face. He felt electricity throughout his entire body; he swore that he could have powered the whole town with just the energy in his body in that moment. Eddie's breath was warm against his lips.

His lips were even warmer.

"Is this okay?" Eddie asked, pulling away. "Do you want this?"

Richie wanted to scream at that moment that it was more than okay. This was what he had been looking for the last 27 years in countless other beds. He never found anything close to the feeling that he knew in his bones. There was no way to explain, but he knew that the right person would make him feel alive again.

Richie smiled, bringing his hand up to Eddie's face. He said nothing as he crashed his lips against Eddie's again. He opened his lips to deepen the kiss, and to answer Eddie's question.

For once, Richie Tozier was able to communicate everything that he was feeling with any words.

[noctreallythetime]

"This is getting ridiculous."

“Oh yeah like ypu got room to talk, you just have to relearn stuff like, riding a bike,” Noctis complained. “I’ve never been a ghost before so how am I supposed to know I could possess electronics or get stuck in walls!”

As described, the former king had his middle stuck in the walls between the office and the throne room. He’d been phasing through stuff trying to figure put how things worked after the disaster with the computer server room, when his body switched from non-corporeal to solid.

He’d been trying to get loose for the last hpur woth no success. His body somehow deciding it would much rather be solid today. Than Ardyn came in which was just a really great addition to what was already a humiliating day.

“Anyway are you going to help or just talk about how stupid I look?”

[entermomosmind]

Steps

I usually do not get the opportunity to remain calm and steady through a breakup. It’s something emotionally messy, and so many feelings you had suppressed comes all flowing out of you because you uncorked the wine and you don’t mean to hurt the other but you kinda do because you feel so hurt and you still love that person but you know in your mind that there’s a reason for all this heartache and...well here I am, two months later, breaking up with you again. Not because I didn’t break up with you that one day 10 weeks ago...but because you still haven’t found closure. I feel that I’ve been breaking up with you every other week. You keep seeking me for reasons why we broke up, and over and over again, I have to live through another breakup. 

I get thrown back though when you asked me “have you ever been dumped”? My answer was “yes” because before I dated you, I was broken up to too. I remember I wanted answers too...I needed to, I wanted to confirm that whatever we had was real...that it wasn’t all made up in my mind...that I wasn’t the only one who was head over heels into the idea that he was the one. As he pushed me away more and more, I had to move forward and explore the horizons alone. Of course, I couldn’t have done it without the help of my friends listening to me ask their opinions on my love story the millionth time. But I moved forward. I took a step. First, to relearn to self-love; it was easy to love another and lose track of how to love thyself. I took another step. I took myself out on dates, learned about hobbies I didn’t know I could have. How many steps forward? I lost track. But there you were as if you were waiting for me to stumble upon you. Right by my door, with your Shoei helmet and your long black hair. You asked me for chopsticks desperate for a connection. And all it took was a sunset ride. I was hooked, your back, so strong, so kind, so warm. As I hugged tightly, I flashed back to when I was a little girl, how I dreamt of feeling this type of way...as you hover my hand to keep the wind from freezing them, as you warmed up your hand on the engine of the bike to give me warmth -- I felt your soul. 

What we had was real Don. And so I sink into my couch, typing away as to figure out what the right answer is...do I tell him a lie? A lie that I don’t love you, even though I love you still, just the same the first time I said it... “Have you ever been dumped”? Yeah, I have Don. And I didn’t get my answers too. No matter how much I seek for a conclusion, a reason, there wasn’t any until you stumbled by my door. Until I reached this far in my chapter of life. I grew so much. You were there to water me when the sun was beaming me dry. I achieved so many and will continue to learn my strength...and now I hate to say this, but this spirit is yours. I’m dumping you. So you can take your steps. 

[werewolfdays]

exploring a bit of Jayde’s backstory that I’ve never written out before but is super important. word vomit ahoy:

when Jayde escaped her 3 year long captivity she was 19, had nowhere to go, only had the clothes on her back. her parents where dead, she didn’t know where her sister was or if she was even alive. aside from being held captive and experimented on for years, her first weeks being “free” were some of the darkest in her life.

Jayde had to relearn how to be a person. she didn’t trust a single person she saw, barely even spoke to anyone and lived as homeless person. she survived by pickpocketing, sometimes would even straight up mug people. living on scraps of food. anything that someone left behind was fair game. Jayde was a lone wolf in every sense of the word and she knew that her days were numbered if she kept living like that. not to mention the people that were surely after her. 

in one of the small towns she found herself in, she caught the eye of the local mechanic. he watched her for days, seeing how she lived, how she stole money and food. he also saw that she was young, alone, scarred in some places, didn’t so much as make eye contact with anyone. so instead of calling the cops on her like he was planning when she started eyeing some of the cars in his lot, he prepared a nice lunch, walked up to where she usually hangs out across the street from his shop and presents her with a deal. 

“You come work for me. I’ll give you money, food, a roof over your head. But you gotta stop all the delinquent crap. I’ve seen all the shit that you do. I could easily turn you in. I don’t think you want that so I’m giving you a choice.”

Jayde takes the lunch that he offers and promptly tells him to fuck off. the fact that he threatened to report her to the police scares her though and she thinks that now is the time to move on to another place. in a ballsy attempt to get back at the mechanic for his threat, Jayde plans to steal one of the cars he’s working on. 

she’ll sneak in during the night, look for the car in the best looking condition and be gone before the bastard can get out of bed. great plan. only Jayde doesn’t know the first thing about cars. barely even knows how to drive one. so she shouldn’t have been surprised when the damn thing wouldn’t start or when the mechanic showed up at the driver’s side window saying “The starter is broken. I can show you how to fix it. Or, ya know, I can call the cops.” 

Wyatt Hardy spends months teaching Jayde the ins and outs of fixing cars. to Jayde’s surprise she really enjoys the work. and she has a job. a roof over her head. and someone that she soon considers to be a friend. the first friend she’s had in years. eventually he becomes a sort of father figure to her. 

When she shows interest in the motorcycles, Wyatt teaches her how to ride, how to take care of them, fix them up. Jayde has finally found something to give her joy again. she’s found something to love. 

Wyatt noticed Jayde can be... odd. he just assumed her behavior was because of her living on the streets for however long. but the longer Jayde goes without turning, the harder it is to keep the wolf in check. she can’t really turn in the middle of town though. and Wyatt gets worried when she goes out on her own. Jayde has to. more than that, she wants to. she wants to be comfortable with turning again. so she takes one day a month, the full moon, to go outside of town and turn.

the mechanic is curious about where she goes and what she does, but values her trust too much to follow her. instead he asks. and he realizes he knows nothing about this girl so he asks more questions. Jayde panics under the sudden spotlight thats been put on her and tells him to mind his own fucking business and it leads to a big fight. they don’t speak for days. but he doesn’t kick her out, even though he considered it for a moment. and Jayde feels terrible. she’s ruined everything. 

so even though he will think she’s crazy, she tells him. everything. and with the realization that she hasn’t said any of this out loud, it overwhelms her. finally. there’s everything she’s pushed down. everything she’s shut off to survive. but remarkably, Wyatt understands now. and he holds her while she cries. 

for a few months after, everything is okay. Jayde has a home again. she has a family in Wyatt. but she didn’t know how to cover her tracks good enough. the thing that she was afraid of most catches up to her. for the second time, her world crashes down all around her. 

Wyatt tells her to take his bike and run, but she refuses to leave him. “We get out together or not at all.” she states firmly. no room for debate. He isn’t going to let this kid get caught again though. he knows she’s suffered enough. he knows she’s lost enough too. but there’s always more people to love, more things to enjoy. he’s proof of that. all opportunities will be lost if she’s captured or killed. 

Wyatt Hardy makes sure Jayde gets out. his last words to her; “Keep your heart open. It’s always worth it.” 

Jayde didn’t see him fall, but she knows she will never see him again. all she has left of him is his motorcycle. and the words that she promised to heed. Wyatt was right because she eventually found family again. 

it was worth it.