#so I’m using the existing costume as my base and bit by bit remaking it into the right shape with the right techniques

[sassmill]

And now I’m re attaching all of the original snaps because 2/3 of what I thought was a fit issue making the entire closure pucker on the actress was actually just the snaps being horridly misaligned

[prismatales]

Endeavor with a quirkless child

These headcanons had already been requested before, but it felt like they were a bit messy and rushed so I opted to remake it as much as I could. Hope you enjoy it. This is going to be a long post.

Part 2 - Part 3

WARNING: Mentions of child negligence, panic attacks, mentions of abuse.

• You are Shoto's twin sister and youngest of the Todoroki siblings, your birth was a surprise for the whole family since the doctors only noticed one baby during the whole pregnancy and Rei didn't even look like she was carrying twins.

• You have your father's hair and eye color while the rest came from your mother, being a carbon copy of her with the same facial features and eye shape, it was like seeing Rei with a red wig and contacts.

• When Shoto's quirk manifested but yours didn't Enji waited for a while, but eventually he suspected his daughter was quirkless when there was no change, he took you to the doctor anyways, to confirm his suspicion.

• His guess had been right, you were indeed quirkless, after the doctor gave the diagnosis his whole attitude had changed, he barely paid you attention on the way home, but the moment you came back home it was like you didn't even exist, he wouldn't even look at you.

• His treatment caused a huge rift between you and your twin, Shoto wished your father would ignore him like he did to you, you wished he would at least remember your name. your other siblings -especially Touya- and your mother made sure to show you as much affection as possible, with Rei it was a bit harder though, she loved you but the sight of your hair and eye color would made her uneasy, then everything started going downhill.

• Her mental health had been greatly affected by your father's constant abuse, this proved to be fatal the day she accidently hurt Shoto, your father didn't hesitate when he sent her away. Then the day Touya died the rift got worse. Fuyumi ended up having to step in and take care of Shoto, who you barely talked or interacted with, your father made sure you wouldn't go anywhere near his "masterpiece" and distract him from his training, Natsuo took over Touya's place and helped take care of you, trying to spend as much time with you as possible, out of all your family you ended up taking after him the most.

• Eventually you ended up spending less time with Natsuo and Fuyumi, Natsuo was busy in high school and with after school activities, sometimes he wouldn't even sleep home, staying over his at his friend's house during study session. Meanwhile Fuyumi started college, she was always busy with her studies and with chores, sometimes you'd try helping her when it was obvious how stressed out she was. Being home alone with people that treated you like a ghost was hard. By the time Shoto and you were about to start high school there was no difference in your relationship, the two of you barely knew each other, let alone talk.

• Neither Shoto or your Dad realized you were also going to attend class in U.A., you had done everything yourself and convinced Fuyumi of helping you when it came to sign important stuff.

• A few days before school started you made the decision to dye your hair -sporting a pixie cut- a different color in order to avoid being recognized as a Todoroki, being in the Support department meant you'd probably end up interacting with your brother's class, and the last thing you wanted was to get his attention.

• It was during the sports festival people found out you were Endeavor's child. apart from your classmates and the school staff nobody else in school was aware you were a Todoroki. Personally you blamed Present Mic, he had been so excited during the obstacles race and accidently yelled out your full name, (Name) Todoroki. You could feel your heart rate dropping significantly, your secret was out.

• "EEEEEHHHH?!?!?!?!"

• The whole stadium was in chaos, everyone was yelling, you could hear some of Shoto's classmates screaming "that's your sister?!" Your brother was speechless, Fuyumi and Natsuo knew this would happen, the whole school was shocked. For the first time in years your Father had noticed you...and he was furious.

• During the Cavalry Battle the feeling of your father staring your way was pretty obvious, even from afar the feeling of his glare almost digging a hole into the back of your head was pretty obvious.

• After the Cavalry battle was over and the other activities started many students were trying to approach you, thankfully your friends made it easier to escape. It wasn't a surprise this would happen once people realized who you were, but to suddenly being roughly grabbed by the arm and dragged away by your father as soon as you were in the clear certainly was a surprise you did not see coming.

• Endeavor had confronted you, what were you doing in U.A. distracting Shoto and what had you done to your hair, he still hadn't let go of your now aching arm, you could only wince by how much it hurt, a bruise would definitely appear.

• "If you paid any attention you would know I'm staying as far away from him just like you ordered or did you forget I'm not allowed to talk to my own brother because I'm nothing more than a failure?" He wasn't expecting you to talk back, neither did he expect the way you glared at him, it was a glare filled with spite and frustration, he recognized that kind of look, it was the same way he glared at All Might. It was an Irony, his youngest daughter may not have a quirk, and she may have her mother's face, but that glare was one-hundred percent his, it easily rivaled Shoto's.

• The moment he made a threat about pulling you out of school he quickly regreted his words "So that's how it is? you're going to get rid of another distraction aren't you? Just like you did with Mom!? Just like you did with Touya?!" the shock of your words quickly made him let go of your arm on reflex, an ugly bruise had already shown up.

• It was at that moment Enji finally took a good look at you, he was expecting a scared and docile child, but now? that look filled with hatred was proof enough you weren't said kid anymore. Before he could do anything else you had already ran away from him, neither of you had noticed Shoto had been listening on the conversation.

• After the Sports Festival was over the whole school went on break, during those days Enji slowly started to notice your presence around the house, every now and then he would hear Fuyumi and you talking, the conversations were often short, he asked her about it, She mentioned that you were often on your phone talking with Natsuo when he wasn't busy with college since he was closer to you than her, sometimes it made her sad to know you were closer to him, but you always made sure to let her know how much you appreciated her, it's just that Shoto needed her more than you did.

• The relationship with Shoto a bit more complex, it was hard for him to talk to you considering your habit of avoiding him, at first he felt hurt, but with some time and patience you eventually stopped, the both of you would make small talk every now and then, it was awkward but it was a start, the truth is the both of you hadn't really made an attempt to talk. Until the day you had run into each other when he went to visit your mother, who you often visited since middle school, Rei had thought you two were getting along and was so happy, neither of you had the courage to tell her it had been just a coincidence so you both opted to make an effort to mend your relationship as siblings. As a way to start over he offered to introduce you to his classmates once class started again, you did the same.

• When it came to Enji though, it was obvious you were ignoring him, If he came into the same room you were in, you would get up and leave without hesitation. You wouldn't answer if he tried to talk to you and if he insisted all he'd get was a blank look or a glare, a snappy response every now an then.

• The only time you wouldn't leave was during dinner, mostly because Fuyumi and Shoto convinced you to stay, otherwise you would have stayed in your room, the dinner had been awkward, you had stayed and talked with your siblings, but refused to acknowledge your father's existence. Enji was starting to get annoyed by your "childish demeanor".

• During the internships he contacted the support company that was in charge of his costume, they were more than happy to offer "Endeavor's daughter" an internship with them. When you found out you had been furious, the moment they contacted you they never referred to you as anything other than his daughter, you hated it, all the blood, sweat and tears you put into your work and what do they call you? "Endeavor's Daughter", Not (Name) Todoroki.

• Enji and you had an argument, you had rejected the internship, you were going to get it based on your achievements, not with his help. He told you "The mere fact you have my last name is already helping you being noticed, you're still a child, you could use their help!" you gave him an incredulous look, This.meant.war.

• A few days later he barged into your room after receiving a notification with a huge bill on his credit card from an expensive hair salon (Shoto had stolen his credit card and took you to get your hair done by a professional recommended by Kirishima, turns out you had messed up with your hair dye).

• Enji noticed you weren't there but your laptop was left on, the content on the screen caught his attention, you had an assignment from school that consisted of creating a Powerpoint presentation where you had to recommend ideas for support items or upgrades for official Pro-heroes, maybe it was bad luck or someone thought it would be a nice joke, but you ended up being assigned to work on his hero costume. What caught his attention was how your work was so professional.

• The presentation had a picture a journalist had taken of him during patrol, he had to admit you actually picked one of his favorite ones. The presentation itself was nicely elaborated, you were meticulously pointing out how his costume worked, the materials used so the costume wouldn't burn away by his flames, how some aspects could be better and possible upgrades that could be implemented without changing the design as well, an example was a temperature regulator like the one present on Shoto's newest costume. He was impressed nonetheless.

• Besides the Laptop was a stack of papers, they were your notes from school, test results and report cards, he felt like a child peeking on something he shouldn't. the only thing he could think to defend himself was "As your father I have the right to know about your grades" while looking thought the report card. It was excellent, all of your subjects had perfect scores, every single question on every single test was answered correctly. There was post-it notes from your teacher congratulating you for your grades, even letters with offers for possible internships with other support agencies. You were easily the Number 1 student in the support course. All this time he thought you only went to U.A. to mess around with Shoto. He didn't realize you were a genius. No wonder you had been so angry.

• By the time Shoto and you were back Enji wanted to talk to you about your grades, but stopped in his tracks when he saw what you had done to your hair this time. It was blond, but not any shade of bond, it was exactly the same color as All Might's. He nearly burned down the house.

• It wasn't until All Might's fight against All for One that Enji began to think about the things he did and the lives he ruined, how his actions ended up breaking Rei to the point she had to be sent to a hospital, the ways he hurt all of his family, how the majority of his children probably despised him, and what he could do to try and fix his mistakes. The day he was forced to take the mantle of the No.1 Hero left a bitter taste on his mouth, how could he accept the title of the new symbol of peace?!

• After his conversation with All-Might about the true meaning of being a hero, he made an oath to try and fix his relationship with his family...he wished it was that easy. He didn't know where to start.

• He tried to be more present in your lives, He asked Fuyumi when was your birthday: "It's on January 11" "No, that's Shoto's birthday" Fuyumi didn't know wether to laugh or cry in frustration "...Dad...they're twins..." "..."

• Enji would leave gifts outside of your door, hours later he would find them in the trash, not even opened. He tried to be present during Shoto's hero license course just to end up being ignored, when he told him he would become a hero his son could be proud of, boy did you rub off on Shoto pretty quick. "Maybe you should start by becoming a half-decent father to begin with" ...Ouch...

• After the fight with the high-end nomu he ended up on the hospital in critical condition, during one of his visits Hawks told him a young fan had asked about his condition, he paid no attention to that. Enji was released from the hospital and came home to find all his children having lunch, Natsuo, Shoto and you were busy slurping soba, but you were not looking at him or anyone else, there was a mix of doubt and distress on your face.

• When Natsuo tried to leave, Enji tried to stop him to stay and talk, all hell broke loose, he talked about how their mother and Fuyumi were trying to forgive him, about growing up having to hear Rei screaming and Shoto crying, he talked about Touya, and then he mentioned you, the look you gave Natsuo was a plead to stop, but he didn't. He was furious.

• "I know you complained about her hair, but do you even know why (Name) did it in the first place?! The first time she went with us to see mom she had a relapse when she saw (Name) because her hair reminded her of everything she went through! (Name) ended up having a breakdown once we came back home, I went looking for her when I heard her screaming and you know what I saw? I saw my little sister with a pair of scissors and almost all of her hair cut off!" Enji was speechless, he thought it was just teenage rebellion or pettiness, you couldn't help but look away in shame.

• That night Shoto talked to him, he knew the reason you were so down, you both had moved into the school dorms and were together when the Nomu attacked, he was there when you had a panic attack the moment everyone thought the Nomu had killed him, it took a long time for his teacher to calm you down, the aftermath ended up leaving you with an internal conflict. Then Enji found out it was you who had gone to the hospital, YOU, the daughter he had neglected the most out of all his children.

• Didn't you hate him? Why had you been so afraid if you "hated" him? did you wanted to forgive him? yes, he's your father, but did you have to? did he deserve it? all those thoughts had gone through your head during that moment, you weren't on good terms with him, but you didn't want him dead either.

• He made the decision to talk to you in private.

• You had been confused when your teacher said you were needed at home after class, and someone would come pick you up. Why hadn't Shoto been called?

• You didn't expect to see Endeavor's personal chauffer waiting outside, along with your father who said he needed to talk to you in private.

• The ride was awkward and silent, Enji noticed your body language, back rigid, hands gripping tightly on your uniform, slight shaking, you were clearly nervous and uncomfortable, this was the first time you two had been this close to each other. Until the car stopped in front of a place that made you relax a bit, it was your favorite cafe.

• He found out you frequented this place through social media, He saw a few pics from people mentioning how the Todoroki twins came at least once a week. it was small and cozy place, it felt like home.

• Once you both had picked a table away from other customers and ordered your drinks did Enji start speaking.

• He didn't realize how much his treatment had affected your whole family until it was too late, he asked for your forgiveness for everything he did to you and the others, for being a terrible father, for the way he neglected you, for the way he screamed at you once for trying to talk to Shoto when you were younger, for not realizing how much potential you had. Then he handed you a folder.

• "These are papers for an emancipation request, if you want to move away from home I won't reject your decision, and I'll provide you with all the financial support you ask for, all you have to do is sign the document, a lawyer will take care of everything else and work as an intermediary if you wish not to talk anymore, I'll understand".

• Enji thought you would sign right away by your silence, that you were reviewing the details of his offer, he didn't consider you would close the folder, there was no anger or fear in your face, you were calm.

• "Please understand one thing...I...I'd like to say that I forgive you, I don't...hate you, but you just can't expect things to change overnight, it's not that easy, you hurt our family for years. If you really want me to forgive you...prove me you can change, if you're willing to make up for everything, not with money or connections, but with your actions, maybe, just maybe I can actually see you as my da--as my f-father" you reached out for a handshake, a truce, he looked at your hand for a few seconds before reaching out, you were giving him a chance, and he would make sure not to waste it.

• Slowly your dynamic changed, the first time he noticed was when you stopped ignoring him like before, something as simple as a "good morning" was enough, dinner wasn't awkward between the two of you anymore, Natsuo was still hesitant to forgive him, but he was being civilized for your sake. Fuyumi was so happy when she noticed you stopped reaching out for her to sign anything school related, now Enji was the one taking care of everything, making sure to let you know he was proud of your work.

• How did he realize you were starting to make amends? Your hair.

• A few months later Enji heard you and Shoto talking in the living room. "Your roots are starting to show, are you going to retouch your hair soon?" "ah...no, not anymore" you ran your fingers through it, your red hair was clearly visible, it was starting to look like a bob cut "I'm going to leave it natural again". You were finally starting to accept him.

I'm considering doing a part 2 mainly from Shoto's perspective, I have some headcanons that would fit him instead of Enji.

[petork]

-105 please

NB i am told this was meant to say 1-50

thanks queen <3 here we go

1. Who is your favourite ghost?

lately? it's been kitty. and i'm contractually obligated to love the captain

2. If you could see the ghosts like Alison, which one do you think would come the closest to making you want to leave the house?

the obvious answer is julian but probably actually robin, i HATE being spooked (as the asker can attest xx)

3. How would you feel if you couldn’t see the ghosts, but knew they were there, like Mike?

i'd feel mad jealous even though i'd actually have it pretty good. the other person would be trying so hard to tell me how much it sucks and i'd just be like 'but... goast.....'

4. Would you want to see ghosts like Alison, or would you rather be ignorant to their goings and doings?

again my immediate answer is I WANNA SEE THEM but i also know that might suck in many ways. at least for a while. i am not a patient person so i don't know if i could learn to live with them like alison could. but on the other hand... the chance to actually talk to people from the fucking actual past... thinking emoji!

5. If you were a ghost living in the house, would you rather be upstairs with the main nine ghosts, or downstairs with the plague ghosts?

upstairs for sure, sorry to the plague ghosts but i do not want to hang out in a basement for eternity

6. If you were someone who died in the house would you rather be “sucked off” immediately, or would you like to hang around a bit and get to know some of the other ghosts before getting “sucked off”?

i would probably just end up staying forever because i'm scared of the void of death.... <3

7. Which ghost would you miss the most if they were “sucked off” in the next series?

UNBELIEVABLE question? i'd miss ALL OF THEM. but see question 1 also

8. Which ghost do you think you’d get along with the best?

it's hard to say. i think they would all get on my nerves because as said i am not very patient. but the one who would irritate me LEAST... maybe pat?

9. Which ghost would you say you’re most like?

captain. not to be a cliche but i'm gay and repressed. and also irritable and grumpy

10. Which ghost would you say you’re least like?

JULIAN

11. What is a (popular or not) fan theory that you love?

(pasted from prev answer) i don’t actually like ship it because he’s definitely older than her, but a couple of people have said kitty sometimes acts like she has a crush on thomas. which is cute to me even if she does need to get better taste (love u kitty xxx)

12. What is a (popular or not) fan theory that you don’t quite agree with?

(pasted from prev answer) not so much a specific theory but i disagree with the general idea that anything of consequence went on with the captain and havers. i think it was meant to come across as just a snippet of the captain’s poor sad gay life and, as several brain geniuses have pointed out, due to the timing of germany invading france + the captain’s medals the flashback must have been from a good few years BEFORE he died. and i think the flashback was the last time they ever saw each other, so i don’t think that a) havers has any link to the captain’s eventual death or 2) anything romantic ever happened between them

13. Favourite ship and why?

captain x my cute oc boyfriend because i've tailored it to my exact needs. why ship retail when you can ship bespoke?

14. Least favourite ship and why? (Please be nice though!)

patcap as we all know. like YES i'm a contrary bitch so i don't like things that are popular and i do think i'm better than everyone else... but really idk why exactly i just don't gel with it at all. and when i've tried to read fic in the past it feels to me like their characters are kind of flattened. and i think the captain is too much of a bitch. and i think pat is serving us normie heterosexual. it's the 'cinnamon roll' ship of this fandom and i can't STAND (metaphorical) cinnamon rolls. AND ALSO pat is not the simple soft dad cinnamon roll fandom often makes him out to be! like he is a very nice person but he's also fucked up and insane like all of them. anyway my brain charges extremely low rents

15. If you could go back in time and live in the house/on the property at the same time as one of the ghosts when they were alive, who would you pick?

captain. need to know wtf's going on with him

16. Would you rather inherit the house (and its ghostly inhabitants), or just visit?

realistically... visit. i think i would lose my mind eventually if i lived there

17. Do you think we’ll ever know how every ghost died? Do you think there will be anyone whose death we’ll never learn about?

i hope we do, but i also appreciate that isn't the sole point of the series, otherwise it would be kinda boring and discovering how they died wouldn't be as impactful. if there's anyone's death we don't find out about, i think it would probably be robin? lol what if it was so long ago he just forgot

18. What is your favourite Ghosts fanfiction?

so i'm stupid and i never use bookmarks on ao3..... i've read a LOT of different fics i like but do you think i can revisit them? no! because i'm stupid! so i cannot fairly pick an absolute fave sorry

19. What is your favourite Ghosts fan art?

THIS <3

all the babies and children on here talk about horrible histories the show being 'their childhood'........ put some respect on terry deary's name. and this artist did!

20. Tag 5 favourite Ghosts fandom content creators!

honestly i'm not good with like. knowing people. but here are 5 fanfics i've enjoyed (based on the author's replies in my inbox because, again, i am too stupid to use bookmarks)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28287567

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29868645

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28653192

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28067277/chapters/68761830

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26957662/chapters/65795407

21. Are there any historical periods you wish we’d have gotten to see a ghost/ghosts from but didn’t?

(pasted from other post) not to be predictable but i would have liked to see a 1960s ghost. like a mod who crashed his scooter or something. we have enough 20th century ghosts though but i believe the us remake has some kind of hippie ghost…

22. What is something you’re hoping to see in a future series?

flashback to the captain getting some. like implied or whatever. i can't cope with him dying a virgin. he needs this

23. What is something you’re hoping to see in a future series, but know we probably WON’T get to see?

(pasted from other post) alison meets someone else who can see ghosts, and we get to see the ghosts at THEIR house…. i always love it when we see extra ghosts but i know they probably won’t make any recurring because it would come off as running out of ideas. but i still think they should add a 90s teenager named roy

24. Which lesser-seen characters would you like to see more of in future series?

tbh there's none i can think of that i think we should SEE more of, they get a pretty good balance. there are some i definitely want to learn more about though

25. Are there any characters you wish we’d see less?

don't make me pick a least favourite child </3 but also i think thomas could probably tone it down a bit.

26. Favourite one-liner?

I'LL WAIT FOR YOU, MY COMELY NUG - me whenever i order chicken nuggets on just eat

27. Favourite episode?

DON'T EVEN... i like 2x06 and 3x05 a lot

28. Top 5 headcanons for [insert character name here]?

i'm going to do the captain because obviously i am

- he may or may not have been lavender married

- he may or may not have had a drinking problem

- public schoolboy with domineering father, clearly

- IF he had a lavender wife then she spent all her time in the company of her 'odd' female friend who wore men's clothes, smoked cigars and drove a motorbike. the captain was obviously clueless

that's 4 so a cheeky one for fanny:

- she did a lot of medicinal coke

29. Whose costume is your favourite?

kitty. gotta love an ott ballgown

30. Whose costume is your least favourite?

that's an offtopic question. you have been stopped.

31. If you could do a complete redesign of one of the ghosts’ costumes, whose would you change and how?

i would give thomas his double denim

32. If you could play any of the existing ghosts, which one would you want to play and why?

i think i'd be good at playing mary. meek weird girl who says things that don't make any sense? omg she is LITERALLY me

33. Which ghost would you least like to play and why?

julian, i'm not getting my pussy out

34. What one thing would you miss most if you became a ghost and had to live by the same rules as the Button House ghosts?

FOOD. food. eating and food.

35. How do you think one or more of the ghosts whose deaths we haven’t seen died? Or, if we know the cause of death but not the reason for the death (like Mary being burned as a witch or Humphrey being beheaded), why do you think they were killed?

i think mary's execution might have had something to do with her husband's death and her being unfairly accused or something. also like, she just acts kinda weird, and we know how that often played out for women back then...

and i think the captain died in some really boring mundane natural causes way (congenital heart attack or something) but he's stuck around because a) he's never come to terms with the whole h*mo thing and 2) he was just really mad that he died so boringly

36. Favourite [insert character name here] moment?

CAPTAIN GETTING KITTY TO SMILE

37. What do you think [insert character name here] was like when they were alive? Do you think they were exactly the same as they are now, or do you think there were any major or minor differences?

ok i'll do fanny for this one. i think she was less domineering when she was alive, in death she clearly thinks of herself as above the other ghosts and bosses them around, and when she talks shit about george it's not like he can get back at her in any way. but it would be interesting to see how they interacted when both were alive

38. It’s your turn to pick a movie for film club! What are you watching?

(from prev post) i haven’t seen any movies errr….. maybe austin powers because it’s so sad that julian died just a few years before it came out because he would love it and get really annoying about quoting it all the time and it would be really funny for the captain (who thought the movie was unironic) to have to deal with that. and fanny would NOT COPE.

39. Would you rather share a room with Thomas (constantly sighing and reciting bad poetry) or Fanny (falls out of the window screaming every night)?

fanny. men be quiet challenge

40. If you could do some kind of historical swap (i.e. place a ghost in a different period from their own), who would you choose and what period are they from now?

i would like to give kitty the chance to be a 20th or 21st century girl. maybe an era like the 60s or 80s that was known for daring fashions, i think she would luv it

41. Let’s settle this once and for all. Who’s the real leader, the Captain or Pat?

fanny

42. If the ghosts could eat, what is one food you would like to share with them that they might not have tried before?

doritos tangy cheese, mountain dew baja blast, 4loko. i would make thomas try a jalapeno. i would also make them try my cooking experiments because i do that to anyone i live with

43. You’ve heard rumours of a tenth upstairs ghost who doesn’t often venture out of their room to visit with the other residents of the house. Who are they? (i.e. make up a ghost OC. I know i’m putting you on the spot. I just want to see what you come up with.)

it's george button and his bitch ass is too scared of his wife to come down. his downfall comes when he finds out there's another gay ghost and simply has to clap them cheeks (he fails)

44. Tell me a song you think [insert character name here] would like, or a song that reminds you of them!

i think alison's probably already introduced him to them but thomas + anything by the smiths. i would also make the captain sit quietly and listen to a tracy chapman cd (for my lover...)

45. What song(s) do you think would annoy certain ghosts the most?

the smiths would annoy everyone except thomas. literally they'd all be trying to re-kill him

46. Who is one actor you’d love to see guest star? What kind of character would you like to see them play?

steve coogan as like. anyone. preferably a ghost. a roman centurion ghost if you wanna get cultural. but seriously i just want alan

47. If you could have one Horrible Histories song in Ghosts (either sung by a ghost/ghosts, or playing on the TV or computer for them to watch), which one would you want it to be and why?

that song about how no 'british' stuff is actually british. like tea. i want julian to melt down

48. What do you think the ghosts’ jobs would be in a modern living-human AU where they’re all just chaotic housemates?

captain & kitty: have their own wedding planning company

julian: still a politician but instead of an mp he's like a parish councillor. handforth antics

fanny: headteacher

robin: cool off the shits teacher at same school who undermines fanny wherever possible. deals weed to students

mary: runs a shop selling like healing crystals and incense and dreamcatchers

humphrey: customer service supervisor who actually likes his job because he takes no shit and just fucks with every single customer

thomas: unemployed podcaster

pat: dogwalker

49. What is one modern invention you think [insert character name here] would be surprised or confused by?

fanny would be so baffled by any Feminine Products. when she discovers tampons it's all she can talk about for a week. the mooncup made her go into a coma

50. Name an AU you haven’t seen someone create content for, but which you’d love to read a fic or see some art for.

not to be the way i am but i'd love if anyone ever drew art or something about my au which is a modern-day au where fanny and captain are alison and kitty's divorced parents, julian and robin are captain's brothers and alison's wack uncles, mary is their childhood nanny, thomas is a student lodger at button house, humphrey is a cat and pat is just some guy. but yeah in the past i've had a couple of anons on here mention it and i did melt into a puddle... i think if someone did art i'd explode and die. in a good way like

[ninthfeather]

You have been offered an exorbitant sum of money to (somehow) remake The Untamed as a mecha series. What Do You Do?

So, this is actually a bit trickier than the times you asked me the same about Detective Conan and Fruits Basket. Both of those stories are ones that I’ve interacted with for a long time and they have cores that I feel work with varying amounts of sci-fi and tech involved as long as certain elements stay stable. Meanwhile, the Untamed’s specific version of xianxia cultivation is pretty heavily tied to its plot. But I think it’s still doable.

Ok, so, for The Untamed, the most central plot is ultimately the one about the dangers of rumors and hearsay, with the theme of the complicated nature of real-world morality being almost as central. Other than those, my favorite theme is probably the whole ongoing narrative of each generation’s actions affect the next. None of this stuff would be out of place in a traditional sci-fi style mecha series set in space.

So, my inspirations here are primarily gonna be Magic Knight Rayearth, Sakura Wars, and the bits of various Gundam shows that involve what’s collectively referred to as space magic.

(this got long so have a readmore)

The concept: this is still, to some extent, xianxia. People still cultivate, they just do it on non-Earth planets and moons (note: if this is something that is specifically not allowable in Taoism I would appreciate someone letting me know). Each of the clans has their own planet/moon, corresponding in climate to the locations we see in the show and presumably named after those locations on Earth. The Burial Mounds is probably a subsatellite of the Yiling moon orbiting Yunmeng. The costuming will not change for the most part, though because space travel exists, there will be space suits—just made of materials available in the setting. I’m picturing some real funky ship designs, and also probably some scenes of cultivation-based metalworking to justify the existence of the spaceships in the first place. The sets would probably also look very much the same, but with occasional modern devices made with obviously ancient methods, thrown in just often enough to be subtly jarring. Tech levels would probably vary by clan—the Jins would have the most, the Lan would have the least, the Jiang would have a few weird things that Wei Wuxian came up with but not much else, etc.

As far as the mechs themselves, my solution here would be essentially creating a magitech setup, with mechs more along the lines of the ones from Magic Knight Rayearth or Scrapped Princess in piloting mechanics—i.e., they’d have magic bubble cockpits, transfer damage directly to pilots, and run on the pilot’s energy. I’d probably go ahead and have mechs be essentially summons that are exclusive to cultivators and tied to their swords, which adds even more layers to a number of scenes in the drama (people’s swords being stolen, certain people losing the ability to cultivate, the Nie saber stuff, etc.). Maybe people who have spiritual tools like Zidian can use them to power up their robots? Also obviously Wei Wuxian builds himself a new mech in the Burial Mounds and ties it to Chenqing.

I’m seeing the great clans all having very traditional sort of fantasy robot designs (like, Escaflowne/Rayearth/Dunbine vibes), color-coded by clan, with some design variations to differentiate them--I can see the Lans having the most curves, the Nie units being really blocky, the Jin units having extra ornamentation, the Jiang units being sleekest, and the Wen units being the most pointy. And then, just, the robots made through demonic cultivation? Evangelion-type eldritch horrors that are, given how demonic cultivation works, most likely made of organic material from dead bodies and scavenged bits of metal.

So, ok, it’s the Untamed, but everyone’s got robots. The thing is, they don’t only have robots. The show that results from this would probably end up including a mixture of the original series’ sword & cultivation combat and robot battles. There are some fights, for example, that basically have to take place indoors or right next to buildings, and those would probably end up involving sword combat. On the other hand, some fights would be just as fun if they involved two giant robots zooming around in the sky.

Some specific scenarios: a lot of the Sunshot Campaign involving simultaneous space and ground battles, the First Siege of the Burial Mounds starting with a gigantic robot assault before Wei Wuxian knocks enough of them out of the sky for them to try sending in ground troops, the battle between Lan Zhan and Xue Yang in Yi City happening in mechs while Wen Ning fights [spoiler] on the ground. It could be cool. Also, it would really emphasize the difference between people who can cultivate and people who can’t.

I’m not going to go full spoilers here, but I think you can imagine how the feelings of certain characters who aren’t strong cultivators would be even more intense in this type of setting. And how much easier it would be for them to argue that they felt weak, and vulnerable, and threatened!

I don’t think there’s any reason you’d need to add robots to The Untamed. But I think if you did, you could have a lot of fun using them to reinforce existing themes and make situations that were already gutwrenching even worse.

So, for that unlimited budget? The majority would be spent on getting as much of the original team as would be willing to return to make The Untamed: But Robots This Time, or replacing the cast & crew members who were unwilling to participate in this level of nonsense. The rest would go into hiring a robot-focused effects team with a focus on recruiting people who worked on Pacific Rim or Transformers, and then paying them to do a lot of work.

Once again, disclaimer: if I screwed up anything on a cultural level, feel free to tell me. I genuinely do not mean anyone any harm I just like putting robots in stuff.

[teatitty]

Rogues Lore

First of all I want to thank @schweeeppess for letting me spam her with Rogues lore 2 months ago cuz it made this post so much easier to type out when I can just copy-paste everything and then edit it to be more cohesive lmao

Second this is under a read more because it is A Lot

Leonard Snart AKA Captain Cold

He grew up with a super abusive father and his only refuge was when he would hang out with his grandfather in his grandfather's ice truck. When the grandfather died, he grew tired of his dad's abuse and set out to start a criminal career and moved to central. 

(He's the one who started the rogues!) 

He found blueprints for a "cold gun" which he ended up making from scratch (it’s also canon that he knows the gun so well he can remake it out of scraps in about 30 seconds to a minute) and had three main rules in his group: No Killing, No Harm To Women Or Children and No Drug Use. His cold gun is capable of interfering with the speedforce cuz it can reach “absolute zero” which is even colder then Mr Freeze's tech. 

He's also the only cold-based villain capable of mastering this temp. In New Earth he was described as an "adversary" but in Prime Earth (same backstory as before mind you) he's described as being a straight villain whose only rule in the group is "no killing" (which seems to be a pretty flexible rule these days cuz DC has made him more, well, down with killing). He's also much younger here then he was in NE. 

In Flash 2016 #17 we see another upgraded version of his gun that's capable of separating the Flash from the speedforce directly and, in doing so, causing Barry excrutiating pain. Generally, he and Barry had more respect for eachother in NE, to the point that Len even considered him family. In PE, though they have teamed up now and again, Len is far more hostile towards Barry, sometimes even being written in a way that suggests he wouldn’t mind if Barry died.

Sam scudder AKA Mirror Master (the first one!) 

He was a simple convict who just really wanted to learn how to get inside a mirror's reflection. He practiced in a hall of mirrors and, once he succeeded, became Mirror Master. He was a frequent foe for Barry and, during Crisis on Infinite Earths, died around the same time Barry did.

 He was the one who discovered the "mirror world". At one point he got himself trapped there and hated that the mirror world could just get him whatever he wanted instead of him stealing it so he got Barry to bust him out. He could also use mirror's to mind control ppl (dont ask) and this intrigued Barry. 

 On PE he's dating Lisa Snart (Len's younger sister) and is the only Mirror Master to exist. In N52 he, Len, Lisa, Mick and Marco all got fused with their weapons for a while and given meta-human abilities which I. hate because it took away what made them all so cool (I'm fine with Marco tho and you'll find out why in a minute) he's also a really big attention seeker lol

Hartley Rathaway AKA Pied Piper

Alright most of Hartley's info is from NE so: he was born deaf to wealthy parents who got him very high-tech hearing implants. He became obssessed with sounds and started experimenting with sonic technology. Bored of his rich life (and sometimes it's implied he had ableist and/or homophobic parents too) he took to a life of crime after learning how to hypnotize people through music (Pied Piper ayyy). 

He was the first person to ever successfully break out of Iron Heights and did so because he befriended the rats there and used them to help himself escape, adding more to his whole Pied Piper thing. After Barry died he gave up crime and started working to help the poor and underprivelaged (I'm not saying he quit specifically bc of Barry's death buuuuuut most of the Rogues did so). 

He struck up a close friendship with Wally and came out as openly gay! On PE all that we know for certain is that he's a "reformed vigilante" who's the conductor for the Central City orchestra. He used to share an apartment with Barry (yes for real) before he moved in with his bf, David Singh (also Barry's director in the CCPD). Lisa was the one who convinced him to come out to the Rogues, and they were all chill with being gay, their problem came when he started dating David who is, you know, a cop.

He has a pet rat called Moon (cute, right?). Also in pre-N52 canon (cant remember if it was NE specifically or older) Hartley once had a nervous breakdown after Barry arrested him so Barry took him to get help at a mental health hospital :')

(Some artists draw him blonde, some brunette and others go more for reddish-brown it’s kinda confusing)

Marco/Mark Mardon AKA Weather Wizard

On NE he's a two bit criminal called Mark Mardon (he's also white and yes thats important to note) but one day, after escaping from a cop van, he ran to find his brother, Clyde, who was a scientist only to discover his bro had died of a heart attack (however, there's implications that he actually murdered his brother and simply blocked out the memory). 

He then found Clyde's notes on how to create a wand to control the weather and made it for himself. The worst he ever did on NE was imprison a town in winter and after Barry's death he went into semi-retirement (told you the Rogues all did this)

On PE however! He and Clyde are Latino and are the heirs to a huge cartel! Clyde takes over the cartel and Marco wants nothing to do with that life. After their father dies, Marco runs away and eventually becomes Weather Wizard. 

He comes back when he hears his brother has been murdered and gets accused of the crime. He finds out it was Clyde's wife, Elsa, who orchestrated the whole thing and, in a fit of grief and anger, kills her with lightning. He also tries to kill himself at the same time but it doesn’t work. After her death, he curls up into a ball and starts crying because he feels like he hasnt got any family left but then Lisa shows up and is like "yo the rogues are still here for you bitch"

His emotions affect the weather in this continuity and I’m a weak bitch for that but that’s 100% my bias for Ororo Munroe showing itself lol

James Jesse AKA Trickster (the first one!)

James Jesse was born to the Flying Jesses, famous circus performers. He, however, was afraid of heights, and preferred reading stories of Western criminal Jesse James. 

He invented air-walking shoes to get rid of his acrophobia, and this led to his fame as an aerialist at the circus. Buuut he wanted more excitement in life and became a conman instead! He had a lot of wacky gadgets like exploding teddy bears and, after Barry's death, moved from Central to Hollywood and started working in special effects. 

Like Hartley, he even attended Barry's funeral. He once beat the devil, Neron, at his own game and eventually started using his skills for good, collecting weapons of incarcerated villains so they couldnt fall into the wrong hands. He eventually died protecting Hartley during Final Crisis. Deadshot was the one who got him. 

On Prime Earth his parents were straight up neglectful and, instead of creating his own boots, he stole them from STAR labs instead. This version of him is also WAY more fucked up and murdery then NE to the point us long-term Rogues fans got really upset at how much DC had changed him 

On NE his real name is “Giovanni Giuseppe” (swear this is, like, the only italian name DC knows) and on PE the Flying Jesse's were a deliberate rip off of the Flying Graysons

George “Digger” Harkness AKA Captain Boomerang

The illegitimate son of an American toy-maker, W.W. Wiggins, and an Australian woman, Betty Harkness, George Harkness was raised in poverty in the small town of Kurrumburra, Australia. His stepfather, Ian Harkness, hated the boy and made his life miserable. (Like canonically Ian was an abusive alcoholic and even abused Betty who was too ill to defend herself or George. The reason George goes by "Digger" is cuz that's what his mom used to call him before she died; it's aussie slang for "soldier") 

In school, Harkness crafted a boomerang. He discovered he had great skill with the aboriginal weapon and often used it for mischief with his best friend, Mick Wentworth. He further honed his skills while spending some time hiding from the law in the Australian bush. 

When Digger was eighteen, he and Wentworth robbed a general store and were able to make their escape with the aid of Digger’s boomerang. However, this incident caused Digger’s stepfather to kick him out of the house. 

His mother gave him a plane ticket to Central City and told him to get in touch with Wiggins. Wiggins had been searching for a spokesman for W.W. Wiggins Game Company's latest product, a toy boomerang. Under the alias "George Green", Digger auditioned for and got the job. Wiggins outfitted him with a costume and gave him the name "Captain Boomerang."

Ridiculed by the audience, he took to a life of crime instead.

His story is pretty much the same on PE. The only diff being there was no childhood friend and Digger made boomerangs in an attempt to impress his absentee father. Also he has a habit of making up fake stories about himself lmao 

The only one's he really doesnt stab in the back are the Rogues and Harley Quinn but everyone else? fair game. In Flash: Rebirth he and Barry even exchange favours for info and it’s implied this is a regular thing for them

Roscoe Dillon AKA The Top

He technically appears on PE but he's one of Thawne's acolytes so lets just. Skip that and focus on NE instead

Literally his whole thing is that he was obssessed with spinning tops as a kid and taught himself how to spin fast enough to deflect bullets. He became a criminal, tried to blackmail the entire world once, and was Lisa's first boyfriend! 

He was also her ice-skating coach and taught her how to spin super well like himself! He has a very confusing characterization tho cuz sometimes he was written to be all about revenge and killing but other times he was just like the other rogues; a blue-collar criminal who stole things because he liked to. 

He died eventually which I'm not going to try to explain cuz it's...yeah. There's also this whole thing where he could possess people after his death but this was in the silver age and that shit just happened sometimes so whatever 

In short: Roscoe has a really cool concept to him but nobody really knew how to write him so he ended up all over the place

He also has a Spinning Top shaped satellite in space where he stores all his loot (dont ask)

Mick Rory AKA Heatwave

Mick Rory has pyromania! Very severely! He was born on a farm outside of Central and, as a child, was very fascinated with fire. This turned into an obssession and he ended up burning his house down. So fascinated by the flames, however, he never ran to get help, watching his whole house burn down (and killing his parents inside) and he ended up living with his uncle after this. 

On a schooltrip, his schoolmate stuck him in a meat locker as a prank where he gained Cryophobia (fear of the cold) so in retaliation Mick locked the boy in his house and set the thing on fire (again, pyromania). He ran away again and ended up becoming a fire-eater for a circus. That didn't last long either because, surprise!, he burned the place down. 

Desperate to find a way to help his obssession, he happened to see the Rogues operating in Central and decided to take up villainy. At first he and Len got into a few altercations with eachother due to Mick's fear of the cold but eventually they settled their differences and Len officially brought him into the Rogues. 

Mick kinda relies on them to keep his pyromania in check basically. There was a time where he was, briefly, reformed and gained a close friendship with Barry (even being roommates with him. By then he'd already known Barry's real identity for a few years) and used his pyro knowledge to become a fire-fighter consultant. At one point he even worked for the FBI

His backstory is practically the same on PE the only difference being that he never expressed regret for burning down his house, and actually says he wishes he’d burned down the whole neighbourhood instead

Lisa Snart AKA Golden Glider

When I say her NE version is leagues above PE I mean it. 

Like Len, she suffered abuse under their father and escaped it by becoming a figure skater under the name Lisa Star for the Futura Ice Show! Her fame came from her very fast spins, a trick she was taught by Roscoe. When Roscoe died while fighting Barry (brain complications though there’s more to it, but again I’m not going to get into that) Lisa turned to villainy, blaming Barry for her lover's death. 

Her attempts on Barry and Iris' lives were always foiled. She used a pair of ice skates that created their own ice flow, and had many gadgets that caused hypnotism. She also stole Len's gun once but retooled it into a twirling Baton. 

When Barry died she renounced her feud with him and attempted to go straight again with her brother. They created a company that recovered lost or stolen items. Eventually she returned back to a life of crime, went through three boyfriends, all using the name Chillblaine (she named them that iirc), until the fourth Blaine killed her. Len got revenge on that one 

On PE, however, Lisa had a brain tumor (it got cured later) and was a tag-a-long villain for her brother and her boyfriend, Sam Scudder. This version of her never became a skater and is instead murderous just for...the sake of it. She also has this thing about wanting to be the leader of the Rogues instead of Len, and when she's in charge of them for a while the Rogues’ morals change and killing is suddenly fine so. Whatever. NE Lisa is the best (also her whole outfit? Stunning)

Roy G. Bivolo AKA Rainbow Raider (not technically a Rogue anymore but he was a member for a while)

He appeard on PE as Chroma but gets murdered by Grodd so we only have NE canon to use (they did my mans dirty) 

He was a wonderful painter from an early age but was born colourblind. His father, an optometrist, was determined to create a device that would let him see in full colour. Toy didnt get the device until after his father's death but unfortunately the device didnt let him see colour. 

Instead, the goggles could project beams of light that could become solid objects, make him invisible, blind his opponents, or affect the emotions of his targets. Angry that he couldnt pursue an artistic career. he decided to become a thief and primarily stole famous artwork. He was eventually killed by Amunet Black

Evan McCulloch AKA Mirror Master (second one)

Evan was born to rich parents Louis and Carol Erikson who gave him up for adoption because they were too young to be responsible parents. He ended up at the McCulloch orphanage. 

At age 8 he was molested by one of the older boys there and, in self-defence, ended up drowning the him. At 16 he left the orphanage, taking on the name of the woman who raised him and moves to Glasgow (he’s scottish btw) 

He found that it was super difficult to hold down a job but, needing to make ends meet and constantly breaking the law anyway, he turned to a life of crime and became a hitman and then a professional assassin.

One day he got hired to kill his birth father but was unaware of who his target was until after he took the shot. Grief-stricken, he attended the funeral and tried to work up the nerve to approach his birth mother. By the time he had, she'd committed suicide and he turned himself in for his crimes. 

Either the Scottish or US government gave him Sam's old Mirror Master gear and hired him to be a mercenary. 

His first job was scaring Animal Man into stopping his activism, but he failed because of Animal Man’s wife. Refusing to actually kill the wife and children (thanks to his own morals) he gets fired and helps Animal Man seek revenge.

He continues to work as a criminal and supervillain-for-hire, even working out of costume as a mercernary in Britain.

Eventually he found his way to Central City and joined the Rogues, taking over as Sam Scudders official successor. There was a time where he had a Cocaine Addiction which caused friction between him and Capt Cold because of Len’s rule against drug use. 

Throughout all of this, Evan made sure to donate a portion of all the money he ever got to the McCulloch Orphanage

Axel Walker AKA Trickster (second one) 

On PE, Axel was recruited by the Rogues early on in his career. He messed up during a heist and they kicked him out (they'd never do that but w/e) 

He worked for Mob Rule as a henchman for a bit then went freelance when MB was arrested. He saved Cold's life cuz he felt he still owed Cold a debt. When Grodd took over Central, Axel tried to join his side but Grodd tore his arm off from the bicep (ouch) and left him to die on the street. Axel got himself a cool sleek robot arm and returned to crime anyway. He got accused of murder, Barry cleared his name, but he still got sent to Iron Heights for other charges. 

The Rogues, hearing about this, went to bust him out and were like "okay fine u can hang with us" and he stayed with them from then on

In NE canon, while Jesse was working with the FBI, Axel stole all his gear and ended up working for Penguin in Gotham. Penguin gets attacked by Tarantula, Axel fails to stop her and a few days later he gets caught by Robin (Tim) for causing trouble in Gotham. 

He moves on to work with Amunet Black, but after her defeat is offered to join the “new Rogues” by Capt Cold and accepts the offer. Some stuff happens, he fights the OG Trickster who leaves him in a dumpster and tells him never to pick up the gear again, then Axel answers an ad from some college students asking for a trained hero to teach them some things, he has dinner with them and then kills them all. Neat.

When Jesse died, Axel redonned the Trickster gear and started operating his own crew out of an old Rogues hideout. When the Rogues returned to Central, Axel found out they were gonna retire and go underground. He rejoined them to help them get revenge on Inertia for manipulating them into killing Bart Allen, and he stayed with the group henceforth. 

Evan explained to him that joining the Rogues wasn’t a matter of him wanting to be one, but why he needed to be one

In short: Axel is a punk kid who wants to fit in with the big boys and the Rogues are the only ones who really gave him a chance, acting like his older siblings. It’s worth noting that canon never mentions any relatives for him so, as far as we know, crime is all he’s ever known

And that’s all of them!

[chacusha]

Trials of Mana remake liveblogging (4/...)

New game plus liveblogging. My new party is Charlotte, Kevin, Hawkeye.

This is my first time doing a real run-through with Charlotte as the main character. Her opening is unique among the main six because she doesn’t actually go to Jadd where the other five converge. The Meridian Child credit roll also doesn’t go over a sea voyage like it does with the other five because she’s already located in Wendel.

Having Charlotte and Hawkeye in the same party is pretty wild because Charlotte is the most immature of the six and Hawkeye is the most mature (Charlotte is also the shortest and Hawkeye the tallest, if I’m not mistaken -- yep, this confirms it). It definitely gives off the impression that Hawkeye is her babysitter rather than a teammate, lol.

Kevin is also pretty immature, but it’s a bit offset by the fact that he’s level 70-something and 1-jab KOing everything...

My partner is so amused by how everything Hawkeye says/does is accompanied by a model shot.

Finished up the last Li’l Cactus sightings. Li’l Cactus’s accessory and the Love of Mana chain ability are incredible. Makes it easy to speed through the dungeons.

I’m already at the Windstone and level 20-something due to the Love of Mana exp booster. So I upgraded Charlotte to Priestess (light), Kevin to Brawler (dark side this time -- with Charlotte, we won’t need his healing anyway), and Hawkeye to Ranger (light, since in the Collection of Mana playthrough I went dark).

Me: We should go light since we went dark last time. My partner: Ninja looks cooler, though... Me: I agree, that’s why we picked Ninja last time, lol. (But seriously, Hawkeye’s light classes look so dorky.)

That scene where Hawkeye rescues Riesz from Bil and Ben was very shippy.

Charlotte has the CUTEST reaction to being turned into a ghost.

There is also some very slight Charlotte/Kevin shippiness after being rescued by Vuscav where Kevin calls Vuscav cute and then Charlotte says Kevin needs glasses if he doesn’t think she’s a hundred times cuter than Vuscav.

Kevin’s Brawler costume is very cute. I like it a lot.

It’s weird how if Angela isn’t in your party (especially if Charlotte is the main character and therefore misses Jadd), she just... never shows up in the game??? That seems so odd.

This is the first time I’ve ever gotten Flammie and Riesz *wasn’t* in my party. It looks like Faerie will recall the existence of the Winged Guardian and your character will point you toward Laurent.

I like Charlotte’s voice. She sounds confident but also cute. “What can I say? I’m a natuwaw.” Hawkeye’s voice is also pretty good, but he has a deep voice and a high voice and seems to switch between them suddenly in a way that’s jarring. Playing again has made me realize I don’t like Faerie’s voice. In terms of pitch/tone, it’s fine, sounds like a cute fairy, but in terms of the delivery and emphasis in each line, the choices are really odd and never sound like how you’d expect that line to be read -- for example, timid and lackluster when it should be determined, or cheerful when it should be serious, etc.

There seems to have been a bug with the ??? Seeds -- I got both of Kevin’s and both of Hawkeye’s items, but none of Charlotte’s, and then started getting repeats at random from there. Welp, time to farm these again.

Oh wow, Kevin’s ending that I got last game, I encountered after giving the Sword of Mana to Goremand in Ferolia. I followed the king out behind the throne room and Kevin confronted him like he did in his ending last game. Curious to know what his ending will be like, then.

I got my second class change. I went with Sage (Light Dark) for Charlotte, Enlightened (Dark Light) for Kevin, and Rogue (Light Dark) for Hawkeye (because Nomad looks SO BAD OMG, but also because Rogue’s skillset seemed interesting to me).

OMG, Kevin’s Suzaku Aerial is amazingly badass, especially when he’s in wolf form. He howls at the end of it, too. So cute ToT

It took a while, but I finally got Lightgazer to turn my party into moogles. Awww.

If you go Charlotte/Kevin’s route, Dryad gets to be useful. Neat!

I like the look and enemy set of the Jungle of Visions. This rabite maze is quite cool too. The Darkstone / Zable Fahr isn’t very congruent with the jungle, though.

Oh man, this mirage Astoria is DARK.

So is this plotline involving Heath and the Masked Mage!! Poor Charlotte! She’s so cute but her storyline is so sad!!!

Okay Kevin’s ending in this branch is much better. It’s still not great but at least it doesn’t spring “Karl is alive actually” on you and then leaves it at that. And Kevin here does come to challenge his father but decides not to.

I like how Charlotte is a bit of a crybaby. So CUTE. Also, the way she refers to the rest of the party as “recruits”, lmao.

*sees Angela in the ending credits* I don’t know her.

Was Heath also in the ending credits in my last playthrough...? I don’t remember. It’s interesting that a lot of the scenes in the ending could be seen as either set after the game or set before everything Goes Wrong in each character’s storyline.

Revisiting Kevin’s orb quest: “I have a wife and kid to get back to in Mintas after all.” -- I just realized this is the husband of the woman in Mintas complaining that her husband joined Gauser’s war.

“Ludgar let us rampage through the human towns and I hurt a lot of people...but it didn’t help my anger. Now I just feel empty inside.” -- this extra coda really does help flesh out Kevin’s ending.

“Ludgar’s never around anymore. I guess he’s off training in the woods some more. Isn’t he strong enough already?” -- the other Beastmen don’t know what happened to Ludgar!

I like how Kevin doesn’t get angry at people calling him weak but gets angry when people call Ludgar weak.

Oh cool, last time, I didn’t even notice this statue at the base of Chartmoon Tower that teleports you up to the top. How convenient!

I was a bit worried about this boss battle because Kevin no longer has healing spells, but with Moon Saber, he’s a self-healing machine so nothing to worry about after all.

Hawkeye’s orb quest: I like how Hawkeye’s quest involves more Jessica and Eagle content. You get to see so little of them at the beginning.

I like how Kevin was the one to impetuously poke at this trapped treasure box. This whole cave and trapped treasure has a very Arabian Nights vibe (maybe helped by Hawkeye’s Rogue costume).

I’m getting a shippy Hawkeye/Eagle vibe from Hawkeye’s quest. I wasn’t expecting that!

Charlotte’s orb quest: I thought it’d be in Wendel, but looks like it’s in Dior / Wandara Woods.

I like how Charlotte has two fairly pre-eminent grandpas.

Riesz’s orb boss: giant bee. Hawkeye’s: giant mimic box. Charlotte’s: giant zombie (kind of random).

The High Priestess tech, OMG -- Charlotte’s poses, her dorky dancing, omg. It’s... it’s perfect. 🤩

Hawkeye’s Wardenkeep tech is okay but single target so not so useful for clearing mobs. Kevin’s Annihilator tech is also okay (I like how he gets blasted backward at the end of it), but it’s not as cool as Suzaku Aerial.

I started playing as Hawkeye for a while because Charlotte’s strength is too low and her attack magic so limited that it was making killing stuff quite tedious. The Wardenkeep look suits him, and I like how elegant all his movements are, from jumping and landing, to running, to using his daggers.

I’m not having very good luck with getting the equipment I want from these seeds...

It’s interesting in this game how close light/dark holy/unholy elements are to each other: Charlotte able to be a holy priestess or a necromancer; Heath/Tainted Soul having both holy and dark spells; there being a Priest of Light and a Priest of Dark; a lot of zombies and undead showing up in dark versions of Wendel; etc.

Okay! Finished this playthrough. What party will I do next...

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #380

Top Ten Favourite Moments at E3 2019

I have to concede it was a slightly disappointing year. Maybe I was just too excited and had set unrealistic expectations. But most of the big games were already announced, and Microsoft didn’t really say anything we didn’t know regarding their next console. But there were at least one or two really cool moments – one of which is probably going to be held up as one of the big E3 moments of the modern age. And so, with no further ado, here’s my list of favourite E3 moments. Nowt much to add, let’s get onto the list!

Keanu! Yeah, this is it. At the end of a pretty but very grim trailer for Cyberpunk 2077 (which, sadly, seemed to be a cutscene that failed to show anything about how the game played), all of a sudden a character appears talking to the player, and it’s only bloody Keanu Reeves. Then the doors parted, smoke billowed, and he is come among us. “You’re breathtaking!” someone shouted (less weird than it sounds in context). He was suitably hyped, seemed to have a vague idea of what he was talking about, and really just cemented his position as the grooviest, coolest, nicest guy in showbiz. It was during the Microsoft conference, and managed to steal all the thunder from Microsoft’s other reveals before they had time to make them; arguably, it even stole all the thunder from Cyberpunk, too. Who cares about violent Blade Runner homages when here’s Ted Theodore Logan to tell us that we’re breathtaking, too?

Game Pass Ultimate! I love Game Pass. I think it’s a really good deal. I also think it’s not really for me, not in the medium term; I have too big a backlog of bought games, not enough time, and, frankly, not enough money. I get my Gold and that’ll do for now. But Ultimate, which rolls in Game Pass for both PC and console, as well as Gold, sounds like it’s probably the future (especially once they roll in xCloud too). But really this is here just because they did the best deal I think I’ve ever seen in gaming. Try Game Pass Ultimate for £1, they said; cool, I said, gives me an opportunity to check out Void Bastards and get back on Crackdown 3. What they didn’t say is that, for £1, they convert your existing Xbox Live Gold to Game Pass Ultimate for the duration of your subscription; in my case, next May. So – having already paid for Gold – I’ve now essentially got eleven months of games for £1. £1. That’s crazy. Thank you, Microsoft.

Star Wars! They’d sorta shown Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order before E3, but the extended gameplay that they demoed during both the E3 presentation and the MS one has made me quite excited. I like both Titanfall games so I’m already fond of Respawn, and I’m a long-standing fan of Star Wars games. I’ve seen some sniffing at this, but I think it looks terrific; sufficiently like Jedi Knight (or, more specifically, Jedi Knight II and Jedi Academy) to whet my appetite. It looks more fun than Force Awakens; faster, frothier, brighter, and with better combat. In short: I have a good feeling about this

LEGO Star Wars! In a way, even more exciting, even if I’ve already played a LEGO version of two-thirds of this game. But my understanding is that this is all-new, a journey through nine films retold through the medium of LEGO. My near-religious adoration of LEGO games, plus Star Wars, plus the fact that LEGO Star Wars was the game that started this crazy franchise in the first place, means this will be a must-have next year.

Animal Crossing! I guess we all knew it was coming but it was simply delightful to see: the Switch version of Animal Crossing. Not being a fundamentalist Nintendo fan, I’ve not played a Crossing since the DS, but I am a big fan of the games (I remember insisting one December 31st that I ring in the New Year with my DS open, just to see what it was like over partying with the Animals). The new one looks gorgeous; beautiful, cute visuals, a really nice semi-tropical setting, little touches that I can imagine will just make day-to-day gameplay more appealing, and some great multiplayer options. I know everyone else is disappointed that it’s been pushed back slightly to next Spring, but that fits in better with other games I’ve got to play (including Fallen Order at Christmas) so job’s a guddun as far as I’m concerned. Roll on 2020.

Zeldas! Plural! I never had a Gameboy (or a NES, or a SNES; technically I never had an N64 or a GameCube either, although I did live with people who had them at the time); I never played the original Link’s Awakening. Everyone goes on and on about it but it holds precisely zero emotional attachment for me. But I do like Zelda games; even if I’ve never spent a phenomenally long time with any of them, really, I do like them, and I’d love to really sink my teeth into Breath of the Wild. The art style of the Awakening remake is phenomenal; it doesn’t look like it’s revolutionising the gameplay but it’s simply beautiful to behold. And then at the end, a darker-tinged Breath sequel? Even I find that exciting, and I’ve barely played Breath as it is. I suppose one of the true game announcement surprises this E3.

Watch Dogs! Yes, I know! I’ve never played a Watch Dog. They look a bit generic, if I’m honest. And dense. Another big open-world game for me to sink time I have into. The new one being set in London is quite nice, although prospect of playing a post-Brexit London just feels depressing, if I’m honest. However! The video they showed looked really good fun. True, the London they showed did not look recognisably London-ish, but the gameplay looked crazy. Helen, the geriatric assassin, flopping over barriers and tasering people? Yes please. More ninja grannies in games. And the lady who fought like John Wick, kung fu-ing mofos before shooting them once in the head? Incredible. I want an entire game of that. Will I get Watch Dogs Legion? Probably not. But I’d like to play it.

Scarlett! I know, I know. It’s not what I predicted, and not what I wanted. But when I think about it, I was being a bit unrealistic. I suspected, based on what I know about the industry and what I read about available technology, that in al likelihood the next Xbox console would be coming out Christmas 2020. So how much were they likely to show eighteen months prior? No name, no box, no price. Figures. So in that respect, I guess it was disappointing, but it was really nice to hear them talk about the future of Xbox. It’s interesting that, from what we know so far, it appears identical to the PS5. but, really, it’s the confidence of Microsoft in the future of the brand and the consoles we’ll play in years to come that’s reassuring. Bit bummed out that Nintendo didn’t offer any new hardware either, mind.

Double Fine! Microsoft’s rampant acquisition of companies continues apace, which reassures me when approaching a new console generation. It’s still too early, really, to see the fruits of these developer purchases: incoming games from the likes of Ninja Theory will have been well underway before they saw juicy MS dollars. Buying Double Fine is a surprise, and a welcome one for me; I’ve been delighted by so much of their output (Brutal Legend, Costume Quest, underrated puzzle game Scurvy Scallywags); and I’ve loved Tim Schafer since his LucasArts days. It was Schafer’s hilarious onstage appearance that most appealed though: claiming he’d do anything MS asked, “Halo stuff, Forza stuff”. A self-deprecating wit so rarely seen on an E3 stage.

Devlolver Em-Effing Direct! The Devolver Digital “press conferences” are a witty riposte to the earnestness of E3. Foul-mouthed, hyper-violent spectacles that lampoon sacred cows of the videogame industry and dare to ask questions of the way in which things are done – as well as actually announce cool new stuff – they serve as an amusing if throat-stinging chaser after days of corporate doublespeak. This year they turned their bloodshot gaze onto “Direct” videos; apt given the number of big publishers who eschewed a showfloor presence in favour of a tailored YouTube stream. A steady flow of deep-cut RoboCop references was the order of the day, along with some surprisingly dense continuity and another cliffhanger ending. Can’t we do these more than once a year?

There we are; not necessarily a banner year, given that it was the last gasp of a fading generation. But plenty to like and a few surprises. I guess it’s a bit weird that it’s not really the news of individual games that I will be taking away from E3 2019; rather, it’s moments and services and promises of the future.

So was I right about any of my ridiculous predictions? Well, a bit. Microsoft and Nintendo didn’t divulge any concrete details on their consoles; nor did Ninty really pull a classic out of their hat. But there was a second Star Wars game alongside Fallen Order (LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga); there will be “xCloud shenanigans” this autumn, if not quite in the way I predicted; there was a “Big game on Switch”, but it was The Witcher 3; no “Minecraft 2” but there was Minecraft Dungeon. Most of the other predictions didn’t really happen, however. I nearly suggested something big would end up an Epic Store exclusive, but I was trying to be positive, and I didn’t really want that to happen; lo and behold, here comes Shenmue 3. So – considering it was more of a wishlist than a realistic prophecy – I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.

[4colorrebellion]

4cr Plays - Persona Dancing: Endless Night Collection (PS4)

It’s a testament to the strength of the casts in the Persona series that its characters can appear in spinoffs in so many disparate genres and feel like naturals. Fighting game? Sure, they can duel each other to submission. First-person dungeon crawler? That’s basically what they did already, from a new perspective. Dance off? Why not?!

The last one is our focus today. A couple of years back, the Persona 4 cast took to the stage in Persona 4: Dancing All Night. Despite the absurdity of the core premise - the investigation team must dance to protect missing idol singers from monstrous shadows - the game was a delight. It was pure fanservice, but damn, I adore those characters and that soundtrack. I’ll dance the night away with Chie and Rise any day of the week.

Now, Atlus has returned to the rhythm genre with a pair of games applying the same formula to the soundtrack and casts of Persona 3 and Persona 5. Persona 3: Fancing in Moonlight and Persona 5: Dancing in Startlight launch this week on PS4 and PS Vita - either separately for $60 each or in a dual pack - with a PS4 version of Persona 4: Dancing All Night - for $99.

I should start off my impressions with a disclaimer. I am not a big fan of rhythm games. I love music, but I am basically tone-deaf and have the reaction times of a pineapple. I suck at games that require matching any sort of beat. I am, however, a massive fan of the Persona series. So, this review is going to be from that perspective more than a look at the games as a fan of the rhythm genre.

That said, the gameplay of the Persona dancing games is thoroughly in the vein of something like Dance Dance Revolution or Guitar Hero - pressing the right buttons in time with the notes. Basically, as you work through a song, notes will stream from the center of the screen to the edges. You must press one of six buttons as the note nears the edge of the screen - the down, left, and up buttons on the d-pad and the triangle, circle, and X buttons on the right. When the note lines up with a circle on the edge of the screen, press the corresponding button. 

There are also a number of special notes that require some more effort. Some note must be held - press the button in time and keep it down until indicated. Others require two buttons to be pressed simultaneously. The last element are the “scratches”. When these circles near the edge of the screen, you need to flick one of the analog sticks (scratches can also be mapped to the triggers). The scratches are important, as hitting the right ones will activate a special “fever mode” - where a score multiplier is activated, and where you can save yourself if you’ve been falling behind. 

Scoring is based on how well you landed notes, ranging from perfect, to very good, to good, and to a miss. Too many misses, and you’ll fail the song. At the end, the number of hits in each category and your combo will determine your final score. An early miss will harm you less than a miss at a critical moment that breaks a long-running combo. Keep in mind - “good” ratings are a hit, but will also break a combo. You need to make a lot of “perfect”s and “very good”s to top the boards. 

This is the same basic formula at the heart of Persona 4: Dancing All Night (P4D). As a rhythm outsider, I don’t think there have been any fundamental changes - if you liked it there, you’ll be fine. If you hated it, I doubt this will change your mind. For my part, I think it works well. The controls feel responsive enough. There are multiple difficulty levels - higher ones up the speed and number of notes. I tended to stick to “normal”, and did just fine. I didn’t go near the higher difficulty levels, but know some fiends will work to master the highest tiers. I wish them, and their superhuman reflexes, the best of luck. 

Of course, the attraction here is definitely the music. The Persona series features some of the best soundtracks in gaming. The great part too is that those soundtracks are quite different. The music in Persona 3 is vastly different from that in 4 and 5, so the experience feels fresh across games. That said, splitting the soundtracks over games makes each feel a bit thin. Some of the same basic songs appear multiple times, with remixes and live versions. As a result, the tracklists seem a bit thin. Few songs are true duds, but I didn’t care for some of the remixes. 

Still, the soundtracks are great, and the presentation is top-notch. Both games look great - clean, colorful, and sharp. I realize that creating the sets for a rhythm game is a smaller task than creating a full explorable world, but seeing all of the Persona 3 settings recreated in HD really made me wish that Atlus would remake P3 and P4. This is the sharpest, cleanest presentation of these settings and characters that have existed. It can be a little hard to tell what is happening on screen at times, with all of the effects in full blast. However, this is definitely a fun game to watch. It’s a visual treat. 

A number of factors can be customized during dancing. There are track modifiers that can be enabled to make the experience either easier or harder. For example, one modifier prevents “good” hits from breaking a combo. However, the modifiers that make playing easier will cost you points. Other modifiers make the experience more devilish. You can also outfit dancers in a huge variety of outfits and accessories - from wigs, to glasses, to headphones. The more you play, the more clothing options you can unlock. After the first playthrough, you can also select different dance partners. Both costumes and the backup dancers are pure fanservice, but some Persona fans will have fun playing with different options. 

P4D had an extensive story mode to supplement the core dancing. A lot of people found the story mode boring, but I really liked it. I love the Persona 4 characters, and thought the story was an interesting look at the issues with idol culture in Japan. 

Sadly, the two new games have both dropped the story mode entirely. Instead, a basic “it’s a dream” framing device is used to justify the dancing, and that’s about it. Instead, checking off requirements in the dancing mode will open up “social link” scenes with the individual cast members. These are fun little fully-acted vignettes, and progress a bare-bones overall plot. Later scenes let you explore each character’s bedroom. If you have a PSVR, you can activate it and walk through each area in first-person. As a fan, these scenes are cool. I love spending a little more time with both casts. However, you definitely notice the loss of a dedicated story mode. The scenes feel inconsequential without any central driving plot - just a bonus for fans of the series. 

Ultimately, your enjoyment of these games will depend on how much of a Persona fan you are. The soundtracks are incredible, the dancing is fun enough, and the presentation looks great. However, the experience is thin on content, especially at full price. I’m not sure I could recommend either game at $60 each. These feel like budget releases tossed out at full price, and should have just been one game from the start. The $99 collection has more merit - especially since it includes a PS4 version of P4D. Looking at is as $33 per game, it doesn’t seem bad at all. If you’re a fan of the series as a whole - if you love those casts and the soundtracks - the full collection may be worth your time. If you aren’t already a Persona super-fan, I don’t think there’s as much to recommend at the high cost of entry. 

This review is based on a copy provided by the publisher, Atlus.

Official Website

[hippomanblog]

My Fire Emblem Rankings

I’ve had a few questions about my legitimate Fire Emblem opinions and thoughts, so I figured I’d write this up while I’m waiting for some things to process. This is all just personal opinion, no shade is meant to be being thrown, and this probably won’t interest you too much.  But, hey, here it is.  I’ll list the Fire Emblems going from favorite to least favorite, and explain a little bit about why I feel that way. Note that I won’t be including 1-5.  I’m considering the remakes the “definitive” versions of 1/2/3, and I haven’t actually played the Jugdral games.  I’m also not counting Heroes because it’s kinda hard to “judge”, but I do like it a lot and play on a pretty regular basis. THIS POST WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR EACH GAME!

#1. Awakening

Awakening is a game that gets a few things wrong but most things right.  What don’t I like about it?  I preferred the art style of the Tellius games.  The maps aren’t very creative.  Pair Up is a thematically cool mechanic that really doesn’t hold up to scrutiny and trivializes many encounters.  The story is simple, with the exception of a couple twists, and Validar is a dull villain. I like pretty much everything else.  Awakening managed to be accessible to new fans and still provide a nice challenge for series veterans.  There’s a diverse selection of characters who are all pretty viable, meaning you can use your favorites.  Most characters have a lot of personality and depth to their lines, like with how they turned Frederick from a typical stoic Jagen-type into this goofy obsessive pyromaniac without making him a complete joke character.   The SpotPass characters are also a lovely addition if you adore the series like I do, and there’s just so much to do in this game, so it feels like a celebration of the franchise as a whole.  If I’m trying to get someone into Fire Emblem, I will tell them to play Awakening. Favorite Character: Gregor or Owain. Least Favorite Character: Yarne #2. New Mystery Of The Emblem

This is bias, yes, but I love New Mystery.  I was really excited for this game, because I was pretty new to the fanbase when it was announced, and couldn’t wait for an English release.  I waited, and waited, and waited, and... Once I finished playing my JP copy I just lamented that we didn’t get to play this game here.  I think that while Awakening reinvents Fire Emblem, New Mystery is sort of the pinnacle of “classic” FE.  The game is just fun, the maps are diverse and challenging, and the combination of reclass and the sheer amount of playable characters gives it immense replay value. The plot is nothing to really write home about, but after the vast wasteland of Shadow Dragon Plot, I really liked what was there.  It’s nothing that’ll blow your mind, but there are some nice moments.  I know a lot of people hate Kris, but I don’t mind them.  I won’t go to bat for them being any kind of great character or vital addition to the story, but as a sounding board to give other Archanea characters a little personality, and a way to customize your own unit and give them all sorts of terrible hats, they work just fine.  I also like the idea of Marth as a bit of a shell-shocked, reluctant king who relies on his friends to rise to greatness.  It prevents him from being “too perfect”, like RD Ike.  But I can see where people have problems with this. I wish this were a more accessible entry in the series, because I think it has a little bit of something for every Fire Emblem fan. Favorite Character: Honestly?  I like Caeda and Ogma, they’re cool people. Least Favorite Character: matthis is creepy and I hate him 3. Blazing Sword

Like a lot of people, Blazing Sword was my first exposure to the series (through an LP on Youtube for me), and it does a great job.  You could honestly probably swap these first three around in any order, to be frank. The balance in this one is a little wonky, and it goes on a little too long.  But I like what it does with its extra time.  You get some clever gaidens that mix up the formula, have room to use lots of units, and the sprite animations are just wonderful to watch.  The three lords all bring something to the table, even though you’re honestly probably just going to play Hector Mode once you’ve unlocked it.  Lyn has a story about claiming your birthright and using nobility to help people, Hector’s brash and boorish nature is offset as he learns how to be a better person on his journey (That scene with Matthew on the Dread Isle is great.), and Eliwood...exists. With maps ranging from cramped and objective based to sprawling battlefields, there’s a lot of variety in gameplay and room for different units to shine.  It’s also got some of the best supports in the series.  It’s a must-play for any Fire Emblem fan. Favorite: Hector is a good boy and a friend.  Legault is also a surprisingly involved side-character with some great lines and dialogue with almost every Morph in the final map! Least Favorite: Jaffar, because it’s hard to tell if I hate him more for killing Leila or ramming his face into the paladin in Battle Before Dawn and getting slaughtered so many times.

4. Path Of Radiance

I guess only the top 3 are getting thumbnails, sorry.  PoR sticks with me because it tries a lot of new things and most of them work out.  The bonus experience is a good system, I think this game does support unlocks better than any other, Laguz units are fun to use, and the conversion to pseudo-3D maps feels smooth and never gets in the way of gameplay. There are issues, though.  I’m not a fan of the way the full-body portraits look in the cutscenes of this game, biorhythm is silly, and that Bridge Map sure does Exist.  The reason this isn’t breaking Top 3, though, is that I just never really got attached to the cast.  Characters are a big part of Fire Emblem for me, and while there are some great ones in PoR, there are also several that feel very forgettable.  The plot is also a little...iffy, because it’s all FANTASY RACISM and it feels like it’s trying to punch above its pay grade sometimes.  Like, be honest, did you give a shit that you had to kill Jill’s dad?  That character who showed up maybe once?  The maps also tend to blend together, with a few notable exceptions (because they’re annoying, mostly).   In Minor Nitpick Town, the 3D cutscenes are hilariously goofy and the Trial characters have really awful unlock conditions. Still, PoR is a very solid entry and I’d give it a hearty recommendation. Favorite: Ranulf, probably. Least Favorite: makalov shouldn’t have been recruitable

5. Sacred Stones I balked a little at putting this one this low, like “Really?  This is FIFTH?”  But I guess that’s just a testament to how much I enjoy all these games.  Like with the top three, you could probably swap this with PoR. Sacred Stones gets a lot of shit for being “too easy”, and I don’t think that’s necessarily wrong, but I also don’t think it’s that big a deal.  This game takes risks, but they’re good risks that frequently pay off.  This was the ideal game for the Trainee classes to come in, because you can actually feasibly use them!  The monsters add variation to the types of enemies you encounter!  Split promotions are interesting tactical decisions that give the player more control over their personal experience! There’s just...not a ton of substance to SS, though.  The monsters, at heart, aren’t really interesting to fight.  The game’s plot often feels like it’s on fast forward, and it ends before any real tension builds.  The villains are, with the exception of Lyon, who’s great, mostly just cardboard cutouts of bad guy stereotypes.  The postgame is mostly just grindy and once you’ve beaten the Tower or Ruins once, you’ll probably say “okay, I’m done!”  Well, you aren’t, not if you want 100%!  Get back in there and kill more Dracozombies to unlock your underleveled Druid! If you really crave that “challenge” as an essential part of your FE experience, although I think SS is often made out to be easier than it really is, you can probably skip it.  But for most fans, it’s not to be passed up. Favorite: L’Arachel, of course. Least Favorite: I usually forget Syrene is in the game until she appears. 6. Fates: Conquest Yes, I’m dividing Fates into three games.  Sue me.  Conquest feels like the best of the Fates routes, because it’s creative.  In... a lot of ways.  The maps are creative.  While some just amount to gimmicks, several are, in my opinion, series standouts.  Chapter 9 is a Defense map that actually feels like a Defense map.  You’ve got anti-siege weapons, you’re scrambling to keep the Hoshidans from flooding in, and when Takumi drains the water the whole dynamic of the map suddenly changes.  It rules.  To me, that map encompasses all the best parts of Conquest. It’s too bad it’s still in Fates, though.  Let’s get it out of the way: Plot Bad.  But, unique to Conquest, I think, is a plot so utterly ridiculous and convoluted that it actually becomes actively enjoyable.  This is a story where your cousin puts on a different colored costume to COMPLETELY FOOL your adoptive dad, who she reveals is actually a jelly monster, but cannot tell anyone else because of a terrible curse inflicted by the King Of The Jelly Monsters, so you organize an invasion of an entire country to unmask Jelly Dad by making him sit on the Super Special Chair that will reveal his gelatinous form.  I love it, to be honest. Otherwise my issues are mostly just the standard Fates Problems.  The game tries to take what worked in Awakening and amp it up to 11, which ruins most of it.  The child characters are unmemorable and the plot explanation is bafflingly nonsensical (BABY DIMENSIONS), the characters often feel like they’re just gimmicks that smash into eachother and then get married for some reason, and the game tries to be so many things at once that most of them feel half-assed or over-complicated. Jelly King Dad though. Favorite: Arthur cracks me up. Least Favorite: Peri Peri Peri peri peri p e r i   p  e  r  i 7. Echoes: Shadows Of Valentia

Confession time.  I still haven’t finished this one all the way.  I’ve seen the ending, though. Let’s get the problems out of the way first.  The gameplay is not very fun.  The map design delights in sticking you in poisonous swamps, slow and dreary deserts, or Nuibaba’s Abode, which I would personally say is the worst map in the series.  While some of Awakening and Birthright’s maps feel lazy, most maps in this game feel like they were designed either just to frustrate you or with a series of random dice rolls that somehow plant a single Cavalier at the ass-end of nowhere and extend the map for three turns with zero rhyme or reason.  Class balance is all over the place and you basically just want all the Dread Fighters possible, with a Cleric to summon more Dread Fighters.  The dungeon crawling doesn’t add much, most of the game mechanics go woefully underexplained, and the voiced supports feel minimalist and shallow. But when Echoes works?  It really, really works.  I don’t like playing it, but watching someone play Echoes is a treat.  The game is bursting with personality thanks to some phenomenal voice acting, which leaves the story with some unforgettable moments, both comic (the boey scream) and dramatic (Berkut Loses His Shit).  Even though the characters don’t have a lot of explicit backstory, their voices and conversations are so expressive that it’s easy to sort of form your own ideas about their personalities and lives.  The art is some of the best in the series, and each portrait is expressive and well done.  It’s clear that this remake had a lot of care put into it, and it produced some of the series best lords and a wonderful new villain in the sinister Berkut. 8. Radiant Dawn

A lot of good things from Path Of Radiance carry over to Radiant Dawn.  Namely, the stuff I mentioned earlier, I won’t go into it all again.  All of that is good, but the new additions and changes often don’t work. The multiple viewpoints has a few cool moments, like facing down Ike and friends in 3-13 (with the greatest faceless NPC of all time on your side), but often just contributes to making the game way too long and making the characters often appear outright stupid or contradictory for the sake of moving the plot along.  Remember when Micaiah, who spared one of the most vile people in FE history in Part 1, dumped flaming oil on a 13 year old girl and her guards in Part 3?  Remember when Ranulf just walks up and tells you who the Black Knight is, ending a mystery that had been developed since the previous game with the dialogue equivalent of showing you a spoiler on the internet?  Remember blood pacts? The massive split in characters also makes some of them completely worthless.  Never forget the sad case of Vika, who suddenly disappears and doesn’t return until almost the final chapter, still at her Part 1 level.  Yikes. I do enjoy the Finale maps a lot, however, and the final boss encounter is fairly memorable, though it does carry its own problem with Ike being basically hero worshipped by the entire cast, to the point where only he can strike down Ashera.  I like Ike, but RD kind of feels like it’s forcing him down your throat sometimes. Favorite: Out of the new characters, Nolan, probably? Least Favorite: surprise it’s still makalov 9. Shadow Dragon I’m sure this is bottoming out a lot of people’s lists, but let me make my case. 1. Reclass is cool and they introduced it in this.

2. Hardin’s turban.

3. The Prologue, where IS got to make new stuff, is a lot of fun and has personality.

4.

Okay, so Shadow Dragon is disappointing.  It’s a remake that did not change enough, and if the FE games were yogurt flavors, Shadow Dragon would be the batch they just forgot to put flavoring in.  Everything, down to the graphics, is covered in this thin veneer of blandness, and it’s sort of a muddy march to the finale, so you can finally take down a villain who literally gets about four lines in the whole game. The Gaiden chapters also feel like a rude prank.  If you want to get at the fun maps with the interesting characters with good dialogue, you have to slaughter all of your friends on purpose!  At least it’s in Shadow Dragon so you probably won’t like most of them anyway! Favorite: The guy who calls Gordin “Gaggles”. Least Favorite: surprise it’s still makalovmatthis 10. Binding Blade I admit that this is bizarre placement.  I just...don’t like Binding Blade.  It’s mostly due to stat distribution in gameplay, honestly.  The skill/luck formula in this one results in a lot of boss fights that are just two 40% characters whiffing on eachother for ages.  Several of the maps are giant slogs, especially 14, but I don’t remember any in particular that I really enjoyed.  The plot is okay, but not memorable.  Idunn is a bit of a letdown encounter.  Hector deserved better.  To summarize, I guess I just don’t think this is a game that does anything that Blazing Sword didn’t do better.  So I’m gonna play that one instead. Favorite: Bors because of a terrible stupid inside joke I have with a friend. Least Favorite: I don’t remember anyone I cared enough to dislike, really.  Let’s go with Cath for having the worst recruitment for a Worse Chad. 11. Fates: Birthright Remember all those cool things Conquest did?  What if they didn’t? Birthright! While the story is still bad, it’s not nearly as funny-bad, although I do have to give props to the scene where Flora sets herself on fire and Jakob spends about a solid minute screaming out how pointless this is, echoing the player’s thoughts perfectly.  The maps are mostly just stat-checks and open fields, and the answer to your problems often isn’t “make a better plan”, it’s “go grind a bit and then just roll through it”, especially on some late-game maps.  Iago’s comes to mind, with the whole Entrap into Berzerker combo?  Screw that. Favorite: Azama is a treasure.  On the NPC (in this route) side, Elise is a beacon of rationality and kindness.  I sure hope nothing happens to h-Oh. Least Favorite: I remember literally nothing about the personalities of Hana and Hinata so them, I guess.

12. Fates: Revelations Do you remember when I said Shadow Dragon was like unflavored yogurt?  What if all the flavorings got mixed into one batch?  And then you add chocolate and cherries and sprinkles and nuts and caramel and parsley and cinnamon and more cherries and shaved ice and spaghetti and then you tell it to explain the plot of Fates.  That’ll be 20 dollars. Revelations actively harms the other two routes of the game by being the obvious “true route”, where nobody has to get hurt (except the best characters, r.i.p. Scarlet and Izana) and everything turns out just fine, negating any sort of moral ambiguity present!  Anankos is a non-entity and a dull villain, and to add insult to injury, you don’t get to learn shit about him unless you buy the other DLC for this DLC that also decides to crib from Awakening and mess with some of the characters from that one.  Almost every map has a bizarre gimmick that’s just weirdly cumbersome, and the amount of plot twists the game shoves at you in an attempt to explain EVERYTHING is just exhausting.  You can play as any character in the Fates package (almost, double r.i.p. Izana) but the balance is tossed out the window to the point where once Niles and Odin come crawling in, they’re nigh-unusable in their joining chapter. It doesn’t feel like any part of it really comes together. Favorite: not this Least Favorite: Thinking about what else I could have bought with those 20 dollars. Well, that took about two hours, but this is my list.  If you have any questions, I’m open.  Sorry if I dissed your favorite, but if it helps, know that I can see why someone would enjoy any game in the series, even my least favorites.  Also, know that I’m an idiot on the internet and that my opinion doesn’t have to impact what you enjoy!  Just love the games you love, I’ll stick with mine, and we’re cool! I’m going to stop typing now.

[fibula-rasa]

A Century of Glamour Ghouls: 2000s

Liz Sherman in Hellboy (2004) & Hellboy II (2008)

The Movie

The 2000s saw the rise of the comic-book franchise movie, a wave we’re still riding today. There were of course many many comic-book adaptations on film earlier, but the 2000s were when it became the top blockbuster genre with films like X-Men (2000), Spider-man (2002) and all their sequels. Looking back, Hellboy (2004) and its sequel Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) are refreshing in that they feel like a traditional series of films (that probably should have had another entry). The universe they share is vast but well limned and there’s no overly contrived continuity. ANYWAY.

Hellboy is a supernatural-action movie with humor, horror elements, and the occult mixed in. Despite the variety of films Guillermo del Toro has worked on, there is significant cohesion among them. Even his films that aren’t strictly classed as horror films carry base elements of horror and an undercurrent of folkloric fantasy. The perfect choice for a Hellboy movie seeking to seamlessly incorporate action, supernatural horror, and folklore-based fantasy. In fact, he had just finished adapting Blade II (2002) when del Toro started work on Hellboy. It can easily be argued that Hellboy isn’t strictly a horror movie, but it’s a movie informed by and infused with horror and that’s quite meaningful for the present and future of the genre.

In 1944, a special team of Allied troops with the help of occult-expert Trevor Broom defeat Rasputin and a group of occultist Nazis and shut down their inter-dimensional portal. Rasputin gets sucked into the portal and a small demon baby has slipped out. Broom adopts and raises this baby and names him Hellboy. In the present day, Hellboy works for the super-secret Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD) alongside Abe Sapien, a psychic amphibian. Hellboy’s movements have been restricted lately in order to keep his existence a secret from the American public. He’s been sneaking out after missions to visit Liz Sherman, another BPRD associate with pyrokinetic powers, who is currently checked into a mental institution as she tries to cope with the destructiveness of her powers. Meanwhile, Rasputin has been reborn into our dimension (in the Birgau/Borgo Pass of all places). Rasputin machinates to summon the Ogdru Jahad and bring on the end of the world using Hellboy. Hellboy must struggle with what he’s been led to believe is his destiny while BPRD and a newly minted FBI agent race to stop Rasputin and his cronies.

The diversity of horror in film grew in the 2000s and exploded in the 2010s. Horror has refreshed itself again with quite a few creative and imaginative films. In parallel with over a decade of remake/reimagining-focused horror filmmaking, there have been lots of original works or fresh takes on older concepts released like The Descent (2005), 28 Days Later (2002), or House of the Devil (2009) in the 2000s or It Follows (2014), The Babadook (2014) or The Witch (2015) from this decade. Horror has also started expanding into other genres often, as the Hellboys and the Blade movies did with action. Warm Bodies (2013) mixed horror with a rom-com. Shaun of the Dead (2004) and What We Do in the Shadows (2014) mixed horror and comedy in bright new ways. The Witch (2015) is somehow a wide-release hit arthouse horror film. And this is only limiting myself to Western films!

Horror has never died and it has barely even receded since it was first recognized as a film genre in the 1930s. Good horror taps into our collective consciousness and digs its claws into our base emotions. Under the guidance of the right filmmakers, horror can naturally exist in any other genre; be it crime thriller, detective, psychological drama, sci-fi, period piece, comedy (teen or otherwise), or action.

The Look

In the first Hellboy film, Liz is struggling. She spends the first half of the film institutionalized and the second half reintegrating herself into the BPRD team. Understandably, her hair and makeup is quite simple. Liz’s costuming throughout suggests she’s constantly cold, which I can relate to. It’s thematically important though as constant coldness is usually associated with poor circulation which reflects her psychological blocks around her mystical powers. On top of the nice duality of a person with fire powers being associated with the cold. It also opens her costuming up to perhaps the most 2000s element of her styling: giant oversized knit pieces.

In the second film, Liz has gotten back to work and is styled in a sleeker, more tactical manner. Not an oversized knit in sight.

The Clothes

When Liz is institutionalized she wears deep-red scrubs and a chunky-knit duster sweater, a trend I’m glad has not had its revival yet TBH. After her return to BPRD headquarters, she is costumed in lots of layers, all in black, occasionally with a beret. This is the look I chose to emulate for my casual cosplay. I’m wearing a long black coat over knitted arm-warmers, two scarves layered atop one another, a midi-skirt with black gauzy fabric layered on top, black tights, a beret, and combat boots.

Liz’s BPRD uniform, so to speak, is a cropped leather moto jacket over a black t-shirt with tight black low-rise pants, a tactical belt, combat boots, and a metal cross necklace. This is what I chose for my full cosplay look. I made the belt buckle using red cello paper, a silver sharpie, and red construction paper. I layered two necklaces to try and mimic the look of Liz’s necklace.

The Makeup

Since Liz’s makeup is similar for both films, I just did the one look with a few modifications for the full cosplay.

Liz’s face makeup is pretty minimal, though I went for a full, but neutral base since I’m going to contour. How heavy you go is up to you. The contouring I did was specifically because I don’t resemble Selma Blair in the slightest, so it’s obviously optional for you. I contoured my chin to look longer and nose to look shorter and added lighter matte powder in the hollows of my cheeks to make them look a bit fuller. The first photo is showing the contouring shapes before I blended and the second is after blending.

Moving to the eyes, take a warm brown shade and go just over the moveable lid up to the crease. Drag that shade out and down a little past the outer edge of the eye. In a few scenes in Hellboy, Liz has touch of red in her eye makeup that I liked so I went back in with a reddish-clay shade and concentrated it on the outer half of the eye. Finish off the eyes with a few coats of black mascara and tightlining on the upper lashline only, if you like.

The eyebrows are a very natural shape at the head then taper off sharply to make a rounded shape. Brush your brows into shape. Take a powder shade just darker than your hair color and fill in any gaps in your brows. Use the powder to define the shape as needed.

Liz’s lips are usually either bare or stained with a deep brownish pink shade. Since I also wanted to mimic Blair’s lip shape, I started with concealer on the outer edges of my lips. Take a lip brush and a lighter wine shade and draw out the shape of your lips. Take your finger and, with a bit more of the lipstick, rub it into your lips. Then take a lighter neutral shade with a little bit of shimmer and put that only on the center of your lips. Rub your lips together lightly to blend the shades.

For the full cosplay, I only made two adjustments. First I took a bit of the warm brown eyeshadow and brought that along my lower lashline. Next I took more of that neutral nude shade and applied it all over the lips.

That’s all folks! I hope you’ve enjoyed this series and maybe gathered some inspiration for your own costumes. Happy Halloween!

The 1910s | The 1920s | The 1930s | The 1940s | The 1950s | The 1960s | The 1970s | The 1980s | The 1990s

[imanidavis]

Why You’re So Conflicted About Bird Box

Originally posted on medium.com - January 8, 2019

I’m a big movie buff. I try to see something every week at the theater if there’s something that peaks my interest, and I’ve been getting better at watching something new every 2 or 3 days on digital outlets and streaming services.

Of course I have Netflix. Of course I’ve seen Bird Box. Of course I have conflicted views about it, just like a lot of people. But where is all of this confusion coming from? I’ll try and sum it up in one word: in-congruency.

I studied film in college with a screenwriting focus. With that came a whole slew of cinema theory classes (yes, they are actually very interesting) and story development courses as well. I feel pretty well equipped to tear a film to shreds and cite sources in the process. I’m happy to put my major to use.

Now that I’ve established my credibility a bit, let’s talk a bit about in-congruency (my own coined term which, honestly, I just coined) and how it can get us viewers on all sides of the battlefield for a film. This is not to be confused with just preferences. We’re talking about people who enjoy a genre, have always enjoyed a genre, and are feeling really conflicted on what they just saw. What we’re not talking about is Betty from down the street, who hasn’t seen a neo-western crime drama in her life, feeling “conflicted” on if Breaking Bad encourages immoral behavior. No one cares about Betty’s opinion.

In-congruency is just what it sound likes: not agreeing, not accordant, not congruent in terms of its filmic elements. Which filmic elements, you ask? Any! Some examples: great set design, bad costumes; great editing, bad cinematography; great actors, bad script; great something, bad something else.

Let’s unpack that with relevant context. Bird Box is based on a 2014 novel of the same name and follows the typical Hollywood pattern of optioning a book that is sure to be a hit before its release, aka purchasing the film rights before anyone else can get their grubby hands on it. I’m simplifying it, but it’s a large game of finders-keepers. The author of the novel, Josh Malerman, is the lead singer of the rock band the High Strung. He’s been writing fiction for his whole life and this was the first work that he published. All of these factors scream “highly anticipated book”, and it was! The masses loved it and so did the critics, even going so far as to compare him to Stephen King. I have not read the book but I did not see that kind of praise-worthy, award-winning content in the film, did you?

No! So what happened?

Too many cooks in the kitchen, or in this case, too many birds in the box.

Sandra Bullock absolutely carried this film. She was a great choice and any other lead would have made this “The Happening” remake even worse. But can someone explain why Machine Gun Kelly was in this? Was this his acting debut? Why..?

The contrast of the screenwriter and the director is stark. Take a look at their IMDb pages and just compare.

The summary of the book is pretty spot on with how the film played out, except for some tweaks which actually made a world of difference. The beautiful actor that Sandra Bullock’s character, Malorie, gets involved with? Doesn’t exist in the book. The happy ending with all of the children running about, with eyes? Yeah, no. A lot of parents in the book intentionally blinded themselves and their children in order to survive (Malorie didn’t, thank God). Good job Netflix! Great adaptation tweaks! But the script as whole.. that is going to be a no. Why aren’t the birds explained? What IS this monster? Where did Machine Gun Kelly go?!?!?

It is so frustrating to see a good idea go sour due to inconsistencies. If the film was 100% awful, that would be one thing and we could all move on with our lives. But there are some great moments that make it somewhat worth it, and that, my friends, is the power of in-congruency.

Bird Box is the perfect example of complex film in-congruency, that manifests itself in a number of ways. As I’ve said before, Netflix did a great job with an already interesting premise, but the hodge-podge execution is leaving the world with one question: was Bird Box actually good..?

We may never know.

[owlyouth]

Films: The Best Films of 2019 So Far (January-April)

These are the films i’ve seen so far this year, ranked. There are a couple which aren’t from 2019, but almost none from before 2017. 

I’ve left out a couple that are either rewatches (Reservoir Dogs) or old classics i’ve never got round to watching before (Three Colours: Blue).

See what you think.

The Favourite / Palace intrigue, absurdist costumes, comedy and insane dialogue this film was fun in the smartest and most rewarding ways possible. A completely entertaining and self-contained original script that seemed perfectly tempered by its long gestation and edits from different authors. (Award for Best Wigs and the Word ‘Cuntstruck’)

Beast / This film is the most twisted, non-twisted film. Like being gently stroked by someone you don’t trust only to have a bucket of gravel thrown over your head. Never has a film’s title hovered over it so emphatically and in such a way that it gives it an extra dynamic poetics. Both the leads hold the camera in frightening and surprising ways throughout. Strangely similar to Burning and Gone Girl. Also the better of the two Jessie Buckley films on this list. (Award for being like Gone Girl, but British and Better)

Us / Better than Her, You, and Them, this was just as good as almost everyone said. A truly great genre film that held its audience with a Jordan Peele stranglehold that is unrivalled in mainstream cinema. The film seemed to suffer with audiences in some cases, but only because they were comparing it to Get Out. Both are exceptional, I don’t have a favourite, but while it’s an inevitable comparison, it also makes no sense, they are both two of the best films of the last few years. (Award for Best Film to Watch in the Cinema)

Wind River / This was also a great genre film, but where Us made you grab your chair, Wind River trusts you to navigate along with it in a way that’s slow, careful and methodical. I found this incredibly engrossing, similar to Winter’s Bone in some ways, and my favourite of the frontier trilogy written by Taylor Sheridan - the other two are Sicario and Hell or High Water. (Award for Best Nick Cave Humming Soundtrack)

You Were Never Really Here / This film from the maker of We Need To Talk About Kevin and Ratcatcher is just as dark as its predecessors. It is also a very self-contained story of a hitman rescuing a girl from high-powered brothel. Not for the faint hearted, but incredibly engrossing and just a great gut-punch of a film. (Award for Best Taxi Driver Remake)

Leave No Trace / I just watched this one and while I didn’t love it as much as Mark Kermode (it was his favourite film of last year), I did love the length of time you got to spend with the characters. A father and daughter living out in the woods, have to navigate changes; films with this little content make you realise how jam-packed most mainstream films are, and how little the extra stuff really adds. The sense of the outside and of alienation from mainstream society slowly sinks in so that by the end, I felt a bit surrounded by all the stuff in my room. (The Kelly Reichardt Award for film without much of a Conventional Plot)

Burning / This is based on a Murakami short story, is also a slow-moving film. It reminded me of The Square, but where that film’s downward spiral feels like walking through warm mud, this feels like a breeze. An interesting and kind of awe-inspiring breeze. The dread in this is so well measured and balanced, the tone through the whole thing works perfectly and the performances are incredible. (Award for Best Hobby)

Jellyfish / This is a heartbreaking film about a 15-year-old girl in Margate who - due to an absentee dad and a mum with mental health and substance abuse problems - is trying to care for her two younger siblings and her mum, while keeping up with school and a job. Liv Hill is completely engaging and manages to look exactly as young as a 15-year-old and as old as someone with so much on their shoulders. The film is incredibly low budget and honest and the stand-up comedy (you heard me) that the main character performs as an escape is also brilliant. (Award for Most Supportive Teacher)

Fighting With My Family / From the low budget to the high. I’m not sure why I enjoyed this film so much, it’s a pretty straightforward feel-good film about a rags-to-riches wrestler. Based on a priceless Channel 4 documentary and directed by Stephen Merchant for maximum Norwich-girl-in-Los-Angeles comedy it is equal parts silly and warm, and it left a lump in my throat. (Award for Most Generic Regional Accents)

Ruby Sparks / This is slightly older than the other films on this list (2012), but i’d forgotten how good it was until I watched Wildfire and was reminded about Zoe Kazan and Paul Dano (see more at no. 17). Anyway it is a great feminist read on the idea of the female muse and tortured male author. In one sentence: a successful writer’s new character suddenly appears in his house, and other people can see her too. It’s got the feel of a Charlie Kaufman film, but without the self-hatred. (Award for Best Antonio Banderas Cameo)

Wild Rose / Another heart-warmer here, but with some grit thanks to the relationship between Julie Walters and Jessie Buckley. The film has a strange tonal shift at the end where every imaginable loose end gets resolved, which is a shame because the rest of it is understated and down-to-the-ground. (Award for Best Mince)

Spiderman: Into the Spider Verse / This one went under a lot of people’s radars. An animated film with the closest visual style to actual graphic novels ever, it is fun and funny, though I wasn’t all that invested by the end. Lots of people said that it surprised them, which had me expecting something more surprising, still lots of laughs and visually awesome. (Award for Best Psychedelic Fight to the Death, and Best Pig Spider)

Green Book / This film suffered massively for having won the Best Picture Oscar. If it weren’t for that we could have celebrated the good bits and not have to dissect it as The Symbol of Racial Retrenchment in Hollywood. There’s an argument to say that the film needs that kind of dissection either way, and I agree, but the positives in here - the lead performance from Mahershala Ali in particular - are worth celebrating, a little. (Award for Best Film with ‘Book’ in the Title)

The Spy Who Dumped Me / This is silly fun, but also one long car chase. A film that belongs on Netflix. Kate McKinnon is always hilarious, but it’s still jarring to watch SNL-style-sketch-acting in a film. (Award for Best Uber Ride) 

Dumplin’ / ‘With the best will in the world’ should be the tagline for this film. It makes sense that this sits on Netflix forever, for that day when you and your mates want to watch something without thinking about anything. But it is also not as good as similar films. See Little Miss Sunshine for further details. (Award for Best Jennifer Aniston Vehicle)

Three Identical Strangers / A documentary that got a lot of hype -  identical triplets who only discovered each other’s existence in their late teens, became minor celebrities and then find out about how they were separated at birth. The story is incredible, but is told in a pretty plain way and by the end I was wondering why I was interested. (Award for Best Kvetching)

Hell or High Water / This is the weakest of Taylor Sheridan’s frontier trilogy (with Wind River and Sicario coming in first and second respectively for me) but it is still a good story well told. It is the story of two bank robbing brothers out to raise enough money for one of them to look after his kids. For me the two central performances didn’t work, Chris Pine is wooden (sorry) and Ben Foster is irritating as the more erratic brother. Jeff Bridges and Gil Birmingham to drag the film into some deeper and more interesting place. (Award for Best Car Switching Technique)

Wildlife / I had high hopes for Wildlife after enjoying Ruby Sparks a lot, Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan co-wrote this and Paul Dano directed as well. While this kind of sad, simmering story might have been carried by grand naturalistic symbolism when Terrence Malick was at his height (not now, but check out Days of Heaven), this film seems to be dragged by actors all too aware that they're in a film directed by an actor. (Award for film most like an American Novel from the 1950s)

Unicorn Store / This film is a mess. It only goes above Crazy Rich Asians because of the sweet relationship between Brie Larson and Mamoudou Athie, which feels like the kind of romance that can only happen in a film with such low stakes. (Award for Having a Film with no Script Supervision)

Crazy Rich Asians / While celebrating the victory for representation of an all-Asian mainstream romantic comedy, this is still a pretty depressing film to watch. It is clearly not a film made for me, but I also think there are films made for other audiences which have more skill, with less annoying people, and don’t seem to celebrate money quite so much. Yes to the representation, this Awkwafina music video, and Ken Jeong eating spicy chicken wings. No to the rest. (Award for Most Watery Walk Down the Aisle)

[iamlordmoldyshorts]

As my time in London quickly comes to a close, I’ve been scrambling to attend to the last of my wishlist with the time I have left. On a whim, I decided to hop a bus to Cardiff to visit the site of many beloved BBC shows, specifically Torchwood and Doctor Who.

I’d heard rumour going in that the Doctor Who Experience was potentially closing soon. In fact, I’d heard this rumour before I’d even left the United States. So I knew that while I was in the proper area of the world, I should take advantage of my proximity and check it out. (Luckily I did so — two weeks after I visited, they officially announced their imminent closure.)

Getting to Cardiff from London was super simple. My round-trip ticket via bus cost all of £6.50 using MegaBus. I found a super-cute hostel (Mrs. Potts)

 that was located right in the middle of the City Centre and used that as home base to my travels.

Upon my arrival, the temperature held an unexpected amount of warmth. My first stop was to Primark to purchase shorts because I’m just not about that life…

Now armed with mighty pink shorts, I set off to face the world. And by world, I mean Cardiff Bay.

I decided to walk, as I feel it’s always the best introduction to a city.  (This was a mistake, but more on that later.)

Literally the first thing I saw. A bit ominous, really…

Millennium Centre

Roald Dahl Plass Water Tower

What I hadn’t realized before my arrival and subsequent Cardiff Bay adventure is that the 2017 UEFA Champions League final (a super-mega-huge soccer event) was going to be held in Cardiff the following weekend.  To accommodate, the entire city was under construction, building concert venues and pavilions to handle the influx of football hooligans. These monstrosities make valiant efforts to thwart my photography but I tried my damnedest anyway.

For those of you less interested in the soccer and more interested in the fandom, this water tower is the location to the hidden entrance to Torchwood. Unfortunately, there were no John Barrowman sightings during my time in Cardiff. (Womp womp…)

Knowing that I was close, I made my way down to Mermaid Quay where I had heard tell of an Ianto Shrine. FOUND IT!

My favorite part (aside from the part where I live in a world where this exists…) was where I saw that despite the government’s efforts at taking it down, the fans just kept bringing more things for the shrine till eventually the government conceded to leave it up and it has now been there longer than the show was on air.

Now content with life, I decided to slowly work my way back to the city centre, stopping in some shops along the way. (I bought a scarf!) I also stopped by the water tower one last time because it’s just so cool. Couldn’t help it, I took a selfie.

The nostalgia was STRONG this weekend…

However, I’d underestimated the walking distance and by the time I got back to the hostel, my first were aching quite a bit. Guess I shouldn’t have worn sandals? The one benefit to my poor feet being tortured was that I was very aware of those very feet as I walked home and I saw this in the sidewalk on the way there.

By the time I reached Mrs. Potts, I knew I was hungry but it was about 8pm and didn’t know where to go. I asked the helpful employee at the front desk for recommendations and he didn’t really have any, so I kinda just walked around for a bit until my feet could stand it no longer.

Evidently, everything in Cardiff closes by 8pm, leaving dining options limited. (I just don’t get it…) I wound up at Pizza Express of all places. Yes, I know. I’m disappointed in myself too.

Day 2

Saturday morning I had tickets to go to the Doctor Who Experience.

Daleks: This way.

I really had no clue what I was in for. I expected some form of Doctor Who museum, considering the show has been on air for 50+ years. However, logic and common sense dictate that I should have expected more of a…wait for it…”Experience.”

When I arrived, I was taken from set to set with a guide in costume where-in we had to help the Doctor find some crystals to save his ship. I got to pilot the TARDIS, walk on Skaro (Daleks are terrifying, okay?), and hasten through a darkened graveyard filled with Weeping Angels (SOOOO not okay.) In the end we saved the Doctor and our reward was the entrance to the more-museum-esque area of the building.

What follows are a shitton of pictures. If you don’t like Doctor Who, feel free to skip along merrily till they end.

Costume: Rassilon

Costume: Ianto

Costume: Jack (Torchwood)

Costume: John

Costume: Donna

Costume: Doctor (10)

Costume: Doctor (9)

Costume: Rose

Costume: Martha

Costume: Jack (Doctor Who)

Face of Boe

Clockwork Android

Davros

Is there something behind me?

I found K-9!

No but really…is there something behind me?

Just don’t do it. The Thames is polluted enough as it is…

Destroyed TARDIS from 9’s regeneration.

Inside the TARDIS.

Another pic of the destroyed TARDIS.

Tosh’s Torchwood desk.

Compilation of Who companions.

After spending a good chunk of time in nerd heaven, I decided to nostalgically meander my way back through town towards the bus while reminiscing about the good ole days of Doctor Who before Moffat took over.

On my way, I found this fun monument.

It serves as a tribute to those lost at sea.  I thought it was beautiful.

I caught my bus and took it north to the National Museum Cardiff where I scoped out a moon rock and some lovely paintings before heading over to Cardiff Castle.

To my delight, I discovered that there’s an underground cavern, literally within the walls, wherein a few days out of the year, they show films for super cheap. To my eternal delight, I discovered that they were showing The Goonies. To my dismay, the website was reporting that the show was sold out. Determined to try anyway, I walked over to the castle to check in person.

Here be dragons…

Luck was on my side when the ticketing agent found a single ticket for me and printed it out before her boss showed up to tell her to stop selling the tickets to the sold out show.

While the theatre itself wasn’t exactly the most high-tech of theatres, it was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime type of venue wherein I got to watch one of my favorite childhood movies (with a bunch of children who had never seen it before…always a fun experience.)

That evening, I went to Sully’s Cafe around the corner for a late dinner. (This time, I specifically asked the front desk which restaurants in the area were local and open late. This was the result.) I got an interesting roasted cauliflower monstrosity that tasted fine but presentation left much to be desired. I think I ate more of the paper tray-liner than I did of the cauliflower. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t share such events, but I am setting up a scenario wherein I was sitting alone, in this bar/restaurant, eating dinner late at night…when I look up and see this extremely serious business transaction happening directly across the street.

Evidently I am not the only one who witnessed this suit…because the couple in the picture stopped to take their own photo of him as well.

As I trekked the three minute walk back to my hostel, I also spotted this.

Lots of stag-do’s in town. My tolerance and patience level are minimal. So I called it a night.

Day 3

Honestly, I woke up thinking I was going to go back to Cardiff Castle to actually take a look around, as I hadn’t had the chance when I saw the movie the day prior. However, I took literally three steps inside the gate before realizing I’ve seen so many castles throughout my time in the UK. I reached the conclusion that I was going to Cardiff Castle out of a sense of obligation rather than because it was something that I wanted to do.

So I turned right around and walked back to Mrs. Potts where I grabbed my book for my dissertation and went to find a place in the sun to sit and read.

There I parked till the sun hid behind a cloud and it got just a smidge too chilly to continue sitting there. At that point, I got up and wandered around a bit, shopped a bit, found a breakfast place for the following day, and found this lovely guy.

There’s a joke in there…………somewhere……….

I ended up spending the remainder of my day in the lobby of Mrs. Potts where I finished my book for my dissertation (go me!) and then went on an epic (and ultimately, failed) quest for this recommended pizza place on the other side of the river.

I made my way back to my side of the river and ended up eating at, I kid you not, The Real Italian Pizza place across the street from my hostel. (It wasn’t that great. Do not recommend.)

After giving up on my pizza, I wound up talking to the lovely man at the Mrs. Potts desk, Christopher (I think), for something approaching two hours about all manner of things Marvel and DC. (A solid culmination to my nerd trip.)

All in all, I’m glad I went — especially as the Doctor Who Experience announced their closing just a few short days ago. I wish I could recommend this city to other DW/TW fans, but as 70% of the appeal will be disappearing within the next three months, I wouldn’t go unless you can get there before September.

Or if you’re just particularly obsessed with Torchwood. I don’t think Roald Dahl Plass, the Millennium Center, or Ianto’s Shrine are going anywhere any time soon. (In fact, if you’re as nerdy as I (because I embrace the inner (and outer) nerd), I’d recommend looking up a list of places in Cardiff where DW and TW have filmed. Especially if you have access to the shows just before or while there.)

As to my blog, this will be the last post for a while. We’re getting into the nitty-gritty bits of dissertation writing now. I have three months left in London, 25 days of travel planned in five cities with two different people, and I’m also participating in GISHWHES again this year. (If you want more information on GISHing, please click any of the links provided…)

Around all that, I’m writing my dissertation on how technology has revolutionized Disney’s marketing and brand strategy for their remakes and sequels. In theory, because I haven’t actually started yet. *shifty eyes*

Due to that egregious studential (made-up-word-alert!) oversight, I’ll likely not write my Budapest, Vienna, Salzburg, Athens, or Santorini blog posts until I’m firmly back on United States soil. (But never say never! Who knows!?! Maybe I’ll finish my dissertation early with plenty of time to spare!!!)

So — so long for now and I’ll catch you next time.

Fan-Based Travel (Part 2) As my time in London quickly comes to a close, I've been scrambling to attend to the last of my wishlist with the time I have left.