#so I was probably completely cis

[pickled-flowers]

Like I wish it moved or touched me when cis people tell me they love and support me but all I feel is deep rage. Yeah you love me but I don't need you to love me, I need you to fight for trans people. I need you to fucking speak up and start noticing transphobia when it happens. I need you to be better.

[some-stars]

i will not be watching the murderbot show bc if the two white guys in charge cast a white person as mb--WHILE making the rest of the cast accurately racially diverse--that tells me they do not understand or give a shit about any of the themes at a very fundamental level, and this is going to be one of those slick $$$$ adaptations that gets a bunch of surface stuff "right" but the core is utterly hollow and rotten

and aside from the themes of the story itself, on a metatextual level it's just fucking disgusting to take a story about slavery and make the enslaved character white and almost everyone else BIPOC. that is CLASSIC white bullshit

the murderbot fandom is, as usual, fucking insufferable, and wrong about every other thing they're complaining about besides mb being white

[sixhumansouls]

Ralsei rambles

Sorry I'm a little obsessed but let me get into a collection of just. Random unorganized thoughts here for fun

So one of the first things we learn about Ralsei is that he's been waiting his whole life to meet Kris and Susie. I'm not going to completely deny the possibility that he's lying about any given thing here (we don't know for sure yet) but for the sake of this post I'll assume he's being honest because I don't think he's an evil liar and that's not how I'm looking at his character right now. So right off the bat- he's been waiting his whole life, in that castle, presumably not talking to people (the great door was closed, he seems very inexperienced in social situations, he's never hugged anyone before, he's never had friends before). So he's a very isolated, touch-starved person relying on a prophecy as his one hope in life.

The legend describes himself being some sort of hero, along with two companions. Before even meeting Kris and Susie, he wants to be friends with them, because he knows they will be heroes and he knows he will meet them and those are some of the only things he knows at all.

His mindset is also very "lightners are like gods, darkners are just objects", which isn't something exclusive to him and I am very curious how the narrative will explore that, I can't imagine it'll stay that way throughout the game (at least not in an all recruits route). Either way, this means he puts the other heroes above himself. You see a lot in chapter one this sort of worship for Kris ("if you ARE jealous, I could find a leaf and fan you!" "I could hem floral patterns into your ascot!"). It's especially with Lightners, but generally I think he is very desperate for validation which is pretty obvious because He's Never Had It Before and he wants to know he's doing things Right.

Also talking about this I am getting vague thoughts of his low self worth sort of being reflected in his stats, his defence and health are very bad and he's most useful to use as a tool to heal the other party members. Kind of interesting.

We don't know what object he is in the light world, but we do know that as a darkner he is a literal object (or I guess some darkners in cyber world are programs so maybe it doesn't have to be something physical? idk but he's probably an object and if not he's still not what we'd traditionally view as a person when not in the dark world) and I think that very much relates to how he views himself. When he says he doesn't know what "being Ralsei-like" means, I think it's in part because he's not used to viewing himself as a person. He is some sort of object, he is a hero in a prophecy already laid out before him, and he is the prince that lives alone in an empty castle. He doesn't have much perception of himself outside of these sort of roles he's been filling out.

I talked about this in my "puppet scarf" fic, but I think Ralsei is a puppet as well. Not as literally as Kris, of course. I think his metaphorical strings are the prophecy, and he's so set in his role that he can't even consider breaking away from it. And, until he does, I think he'll have a hard time finding himself, because he needs to have an identity outside of what's expected of him and right now he doesn't really. I think Susie will almost inevitably help with that, because she's sort of the opposite. She's nothing like what he expected and she's constantly breaking rules and expectations. I think that if anyone could teach Ralsei to be more independent and to break away from his current mindset and perceptions, it would be her.

And she's already started. She's taught him sarcasm, she taught him that a friend isn't necessarily a kind person and that she's great the way she is, she demonstrated that (while breaking away from the team and attacking enemies wasn't necessarily ideal) she was able to find belonging and friendship in that through Lancer. Lancer himself, as far as we've seen, is barely in the prophecy, so him becoming so important was probably unexpected to Ralsei- things are already somewhat diverging from the story laid out before him.

(Super irrelevant side note- Susie says in chapter 2 that she taught Ralsei sarcasm, presumably while the team was split up at the crossroads, but Ralsei actually uses sarcasm in chapter 1 independently from her. When in prison, he says "well this is a fine 'how do you do', isn't it Kris?" and I HIGHLY doubt that that was genuine so.)

Susie and Ralsei's friendship will definitely be an important one. It's harder to speak on him and Kris because we just don't know how Kris feels about him exactly. He clearly resembles a Dreemurr (to the player he most closely resembles Asriel, but we don't yet know how Asriel currently looks in this game and I don't believe any character has directly compared the two out loud yet? Their names are anagrams, but I think all there's been so far is Susie saying he looks like Toriel and Noelle saying "he looks kinda like" before being cut off. Anyway) , and I imagine that probably makes their relationship awkward considering Kris is currently really missing their brother. We don't know how much Kris might know about dark worlds independently of the player, they did have that save point prior to the game, but I doubt they know much more about Ralsei than we do other than maybe something from those brief moments they have alone with him while we're off with Susie.

Other than the resemblance to their brother, we kind of just have the tea to go off of, which gives me the impression that they feel neutral about him. Still heals them, but not as much as other teas. Ralsei and Noelle's teas heal each other just a bit less than Ralsei does for Kris, and I imagine Ralsei and Noelle are about as neutral feeling towards each other as you can get since they Don't Know Each Other, so it being a bit more is probably a good sign? Obviously both Susie tea and Kris tea heal Ralsei a lot those are his best and only friends and he loves them so so so much

I'm not much of a theorizer so overall my thoughts are: Kris feels pretty neutral towards Ralsei. They probably think it's weird that he looks like their brother and there may be context we don't have with their conversations away from the player. Considering that I don't think he has bad intentions, I doubt Kris thinks that either because where would they get that idea if there's nothing to imply it, so I don't think they actively dislike or distrust him. In Puppet Scarf I had them be upset at him for not helping with their soul but they don't hate him there they're just kind of annoyed that he won't even try to help them because he thinks it's all destiny ANYWAY THIS ISN'T ABOUT MY FIC

I do very much like his friendship with Lancer. I've explored it a bit in my fic "uncertainty" and it's certainly a dynamic I think about a lot, I might write another fic about them at some point. As I mentioned earlier Lancer wasn't really in the prophecy beyond "that one teardrop headed kid who's just there to represent darkners" and prior to the game Ralsei's perception of him is probably mostly just "this guy is the king's son and works for the king and therefore is working against us". So Ralsei had like no intention of being his friend because if anything they'd probably be enemies. And yet….

Ralsei I don't think has it in him to be mean just in general- he's not even mean to the King even though he really should be. And Lancer isn't very good at being mean either, considering the way he "insults" Ralsei tends to just be weirdly phrased compliments? ("Kindboy" "Delicious little apple" "sweet little peas we love to see" "earn a second doctorate smart genius"). They both can't help but be nice to each other and through Susie being their mutual friend it's sort of inevitable that they become somewhat unlikely friends. They come from completely different mindsets, Ralsei obviously being super dedicated to the prophecy while Lancer was completely dedicated to his dad and the fountain before meeting Susie (and still probably doesn't care about the prophecy itself, moreso about his friends in particular) but they're both like. Yeah of course they'd be friends anyway.

Also they're both princes which always seemed significant to me. Like we're drawing attention to a parallel. Although I guess now Lancer's a king but shhh. Also neither of them know how to run a kingdom who left these kids in charge

Anyway um. I like Ralsei a normal amount clearly. Very excited to see where his arc is going I hope he finds the journey of self discovery fulfilling and I hope he finds freedom from the roles he's been assigned

[rizzmodius]

mr qi is so transgender

[non-un-topo]

Every time someone in my class refers to my she/they professor exclusively as "she" (which is every single time) I sustain -20 damage.

There are a few reasons why my pronouns are he/they, not that there needs to be a reason, but one of them is honestly because it's a bit of a social experiment. The very few people in school who actually bother to get my pronouns right only ever refer to me as "they," despite the "he" being the first one. Hmm. Hmmmmmm.

[shoveitevil]

ok lock in time

[the-kneesbees]

I'm never being nice to anyone ever again btw

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[fairy-ganj-mother]

a production company I thought I kinda liked just posted a lineup of literally 10 white men and no others on the lineup like please. why. it could've been such a cool event but I'm not paying to go to an event with 10 white men as paid performers I'm not giving fucking 10 white men my money fuck that

[asmallenby]

Gotta love my mom pushing alloromantic rhetoric on me until 1am and implying that I can’t be properly loved unless I have a romantic partner 🙃🙃🙃

[science-lings]

I want to try writing smut for my Fem!Narumitsu AU but I feel like I'd get distracted from the smut and focus on how they experience femininity as a trans woman and a cis futch woman because my ideas for that specific topic are surprisingly extensive. They might get around to fucking but I have to get through the whole 'non-typical experiences with womanhood' essay first.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

I think there’s way too much emphasis on coming out.

My best friend since I was 4 doesn’t know I’m gender queer. She roughly knows I’m aroace (or at least; completely uninterested in dating at all ever possibly also a lesbian) she wouldn’t care if I was, I’m not scared to tell her, I just don’t see the point.

Some of my best friends think I’m bisexual, or just not interested.

Most people think I’m cis

Is it a little annoying to be thought of as “straight” or “bisexual”? Sure. But I’m not breaking down over it personally

Is it a little annoying to be only referred to as she/her? Sure. But I’m so masc looking in clothing and “speech” (apparently) that it balances.

If someone asks I’ll probably tell them.

I had so much pressure on me when I was in high school to come out as XYZ. And it’s bullshit.

I just think this “you have to come out” shit needs to die. I’m just out here vibing and being myself. It’s the best thing ever.

I’m here and I’m queer, I personally don’t feel the need to shout about my identity. I exist, my identity exists and will always exist. My existence is proof of my identity enough.

[busket]

I notice sometimes in queer and feminist spaces the idea of "this group is generally given more leniency and privileges in wider society; it's okay for us to be critical or even a little nasty to them because anywhere else they'd be praised". and that's understandable, i think. when you have real issues with men and how men act, it's ok to express that and to mock mens behavior. cis men who are generally praised and celebrated in society should be able to take some mean jokes or criticisms and accept they're not always going to be lauded.

but since queer and feminist spaces are generally more accepting of trans people and the wider society is not, this is also projected on to trans men. "trans men are men" was an affirming statement to our validity, but that was interpreted as "since trans men are men, and men are celebrated by society, I get to be a little nasty to them because the rest of society worships men. they can take it."

but the rest of society doesn't have that same level of trans acceptance. they don't see trans men as men, they see trans men as mentally ill, broken, mutilated women. so it's absolutely aggravating when we turn to queer and feminist spaces for solidarity, we face the same reactive nastiness cis men get and are told "come on, trans men are men. you are celebrated in society. you can take it." and when we look at the rest of society there's no celebration. there's only more nastiness and cruelty. so how can we "take it" when we have no community that accepts us and treats us without mockery? we don't have the shelter of acceptance that cis men have in the status quo, and sometimes we can't find a small umbrella of acceptance in queer communities either.

to be honest, I think a lot of people view trans men as a safe punching bag to vent their frustrations with men. you can mistreat a trans man and he's probably not going to fight you back since he's already so beat down. you can feel like you put a man in his place, you can feel like you're resisting the patriarchy. but all you did was act cruel to a marginalized person. and you know if you treated a cis man like that you might be putting yourself in danger, cos he might not take it lying down and he might not care as much about your wellbeing!

trans men are men, but trans men are not cis men. cis men are lauded and celebrated in society as long as they conform to the gender roles that were placed on them at birth. and this privilege is extremely conditional and not equally spread between men of different sexualities, races, ethnicities, ability, age, etc; trans men and intersex men are thrown to the side completely. I understand needing to vent about men. trans men do it too. but a persistent attitude of resentment and cruelty towards all men, including trans men, is not activism. all you do is push marginalized men out of the only communities they belong

[foone]

I love trans fursonas. Like, this is not a person who lived a life. They aren't AMAB or AFAB because they weren't born: they were drawn or modeled or written or whatever, and what parts of their non-life that covers are entirely up to the creators. They can't be "trans" in the traditional sense because they didn't exist prior* to being a person who is trans, you know? They aren't transitioning from anything, there's no from to transition from.

They could look cis, in their appropriate gender. But they don't. They look trans, in all the forms that can take. Wolfgirls with bulges and catboys with top surgery scars... And that's why it's amazing. They could look like anything. Infinite possibilities and they look visibly trans. It's such a celebration of the trans experience because it's saying "this isn't just an unfortunate period between looking like my AGAB and passing perfectly", this is how I look, this is a valid way to look, this is a beautiful way to look, and there's reasons why you might want to look this way. This is can be a desirable way to look, in both non-sexual and sexual ways: you can want to look like this, and you can find looking like this attractive.

It's about the wish-fulfillment. It's about how it's explicitly saying "even in my wildest dreams where I can be a wolf who is a secret agent ninja with a billion dollars and five girlfriends... I'm still trans, and that's fine."

Cause like, there's no reason why your fursona couldn't just be cis, or trans but using magic or future science to pass perfectly! You could totally do that, and it's completely valid if you do want to do that.

But the fact you had that option and didn't choose it is what gives me such hope and love. It's the explicit confirmation that this is how you wanted to be that's so great.

* technically there are some cases where this isn't true: some people had a fursona that was the same gender as their AGAB, then they realized they were trans, and they transitioned their fursona alongside themselves. Those people are awesome, btw, and probably braver than any marine.

[drdemonprince]

I don’t mean to come off as rude or anything but how do non-passing trans men benefit from patriarchal or transmisogynistic systems? /gen please, I’m sorry

If you are a non-passing trans man, that means you are, broadly speaking, probably categorizable by most people as belonging to the gender group you were assigned at birth. While this is likely to be a highly dysphoric experience for you, and subjects you to a lot of forms of misogyny, it also means that you reap the benefits of being perceived to conform to one's assigned gender category, and a gender category that does also confer some privileges.

There are a great many privileges afforded to cis women compared to other gender minorities. You are not treated legally or socially the way that trans women are. You are not seen by default as a predator or a pervert, variance in your gender expression is more likely to be seen as acceptable or at least understandable rather than perverse and dangerous, legally you are not marked as the other, and if anyone does target you for violence or state repression by virtue of your transness, you have the power to turn down a whole hell of a lot of that heat by clarifying that you are not a trans woman. Some amount of expressing or aspiring toward masculinity in those viewed as cis women is tolerated in society, and showing masculine mannerisms or communication styles is sometimes downright rewarded even in non-passing trans men.

Within spaces that are for nonbinary or trans people, you can move with complete freedom as a non-passing trans man, viewed as welcome, safe to be around, desirable, understanding of the community's shared struggles, typical, expected, unremarkable, relatable, and normal. Every single trans space will understand you as an explicable member of it, and not police your identity the way they would the belongingness, safety, or legitimacy of a trans woman. You can find depictions of trans people similar to yourself in a lot of media, and that media will generally not depict you as a dangerous serial killer pedophile (whereas most of the media depictions of trans women do). You can use dating apps both for men or for women with a very low likelihood of being kicked off.

By virtue of not being a trans woman, you can access women's reproductive healthcare centers, women's shelters, women's sports teams and clubs, compete in women's sports free from transphobic discrimination, and participate generally in social spaces designed for gender minorities -- this again might be a *highly* dysphoric experience for you and not feel at all like a privilege, but it does mean you have access to resources that others do not.

By virtue of being a man, you have a degree of psychological remove from the "female" roles and standards imposed on you. You still experience sexism, discrimination, and are held to unfair standards to whatever extent you do move socially as a cis woman, but you also have a distance from those standards truly being relevant to you both psychologically and insofar as you read to others as moving beyond that categorization. You will always occupy a position that is less reviled, exploited, excluded, and feared than that of trans women in society, and you can utilize that distance from trans women to protect yourself and socially benefit whenever you want to, whether you actually do so or not.

I think it is important for people who feel resistance to this idea to think about how all of the challenges and unfairness that they very much *do* face would be amplified and rendered more complex and dangerous if they were having to move through the world as a trans woman. And if you can't imagine how *that* would make things harder, then you need a lot more friends who are trans women.