#so I tracked down the image just so I could pin it again

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

[bitchfitch]

For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.

But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,

[leclercstars]

ROCKSTAR. [pt.4]

Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Lando invites you to his hotel room after your text exchange. Warnings: 18+ SMUTTYY!! Cursing, unprotected sex, dom!Lando, daddy kink etc.

hope y’all loved this series 🙈

“Ughhhh,” you groaned as the light shone through the curtains in your hotel room. Somehow even after your late-night shower, your mascara did not come off. You looked like the poster child of “partied too hard last night,” with your hair looking more like a lion’s mane and clothes half on. In your hungover daze, you rolled over and saw the slew of text message notifications on your phone. Two stood out, “Attachment: 1 image” and “thanks!” from a number that appeared to be Lando’s. You typed in your passcode and clicked on the texts.

“Holy fuck!” you exclaimed, hurling your phone across the bed. You stared with wide eyes at the phone- hands covering your mouth in shock. You tentatively reached for the phone again as if it was a cobra that was about to bite you or something. Yep, confirmed. Those are Lando’s abs splattered with cum. You were laughing, mostly because this whole situation still felt so unreal to you.

“Well good morning to you too!” you responded. It didn’t take long for those three dots to pop-up on your screen.

“Just come over tonight.” 

Well that’s fucking bold, you thought. But like- there was not a chance you would decline his invite. This is like having one-night stands with the annoying frat guys at school but 10x more justifiable. You were going to play it cool though, even though your skin was tingling with excitement.

“Time?” you replied. 

“10 works.”

Early as hell for a booty call, when is his bedtime? You laughed to yourself.

At 9:00 p.m., he texted you the address of the hotel he was staying at, and you slipped into the only Victoria’s Secret lingerie set you owned. Thank goodness you had impulse bought that for the man you were sleeping with last month who didn’t care if you were alive or dead.

There you were. Outside Lando Norris’ hotel room door.

“What the fuck am I doing,” you muttered to yourself before knocking.

He answered quickly, “Come in,” his voice already sounding sultry and thick. You had the feeling that as soon as you walked in, no time would be wasted. 

Boy, were you correct. He backed you up against the wall, and pinned your hands above your head. “Stuff like this okay?” his tone softened for just a moment. 

“More than,” you replied before planting kisses and bites all along his jawline. You didn’t even make it to his lips before his hand joined the dainty gold jewelry around your neck, pushing you back against the wall. His surprisingly soft lips slammed into yours, his tongue quickly finding its way down your throat. He stripped you down with such an ease that you could tell this was far from his first time around the track. He ripped the lingerie you were wearing off your body.

“Oh come on! That was hot but that was so expensive.” you laughed between the kisses.

“I’ll send you money for 4 new sets, don’t worry about it.” 

Oh that’s right- he’s like rich and is probably used to fucking ultra rich girls too. 

He picked you up and tossed you back down onto the bed- much nicer than yours over at the Hilton. Your neck looked like a vampire had gotten to it- covered in bites and bruises. Him signing your tits should have clued you in on his affinity for marking up his territory.

His fingers slipped into your pussy, and you tightened around him with a loud moan.

“Fuck I don’t think anyone has ever been this wet for me. Glad you like how daddy has been treating you.” Lando growled as he pumped in and out of you, making you more and more obedient with each curl of his index finger against your g-spot. 

He didn’t take himself out of you as his mouth made its way to your boobs.

“This is what I have been waiting for,” he said as he started circling your nipples with his tongue. Fuck- he is so good at teasing you. You squirmed desperately as he cupped your other boob in his hand. 

“Fuck Lando, come on just put your mouth on them.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna do that without you asking for it,” his eyes glimmering with specks of lust as he looked up at you with his face smushed between your tits. 

Wow, he looked so cute just right there, but you couldn’t wait much longer. 

“Please daddy, suck on my tits. I want it- you so bad.” you whined, giving him the “fuck me” eyes that you had perfected after plenty of experiences just like this one. Those other guys had not been quite so dominant, but it was actually kind of fun being able to let go of all control. His warm mouth meeting your excruciatingly hard nipples was a pleasure like no other. He closed his eyes as he switched between them, biting and sucking. All that dominance really seemed to leave his body as he moaned into your boobs- almost whimpering. You were thrilled that your tits had that affect on him. It felt like you were taming him as you ran your hand through his curls and he fully relaxed himself into your chest. Did it always feel this good when guys did this? You loudly moaned and that seemed to snap him out of whatever boob-induced trance he was in. Thank goodness it did, because you were about to orgasm from his nipple play alone.

He grabbed you by the neck again, and that alone made you whine as his strong fingers pressed on the back of your head.

“You ready to be a good girl for me?” he was staring down at you, his eyes dark and hazy. You could tell he was thinking about what he was going to do to you, how he was gonna treat you like this.

“Yes, daddy.” Before you could even punctuate your words with a whimper- he had thrusted his entire length inside you. You gasped and sat up as his massive cock hit the back of your tight walls. He wasted no time as he started to pound into you. He pressed his entire naked body onto yours- as you buried your head into the crook between his neck and shoulder that looked like it had been sculpted by Davinci. Your nails dug into his back- and he cried out pleasurably- you knew you had to be leaving marks.

You had never been fucked so hard in your life, and certainly not by someone who looked like this. His perfectly tanned skin glistened as he made your pussy his, every single muscle in his arms on display as he held himself up. 

He took one hand and started flicking and pinching your nipple- and that was enough to bring you right to the edge.

“Lan-Lando,” you were barely even able to speak- he had really created such a mess out of you with his attitude, the big dick might have helped too. 

An orgasm shot through your body as he twisted your nipple- white sparks appearing in the corners of your eyes as you gave yourself to the ecstasy of it all,

“I’m gonna cum in your mouth,” Lando groaned as he pulled out of you.

You stuck your tongue out as he slapped his cock on it. You gripped the base and he shoved himself into the back of your throat- making you gag. That was what did it for him- as his hot cum filled up your mouth. His orgasm face was unlike anything you had ever seen before. Contorted so perfectly with pleasure, it was an image you never wanted to forget.

He flopped down onto the bed- no longer the dom-daddy that was fucking you five minutes ago. He grinned up at you, still naked. You couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of his ass, still a little woozy from his cock.

“STOP LOOKING AT IT!” he yelled with mock rage. You spiraled into peals of laughter as he grabbed the sheets to cover himself up. He was laughing too, looking like such a fool with his makeshift toga. He sat back up on the pillows and gestured for you to join him. He pulled the covers up and you rested your head gently on his chest. 

“So should we like watch a movie or something? I think this TV has HBO on it.” He was smiling down at you.

You could stay in this spot for a while.

part 1 part 2 part 3

taglist: @eviethetheatrefreak @thewritingofspencerrose @formulaa-1 @supremebaddietrash @moonayu @aexitizen-ln4 @notturlover @maxv33rstappen @coco-bitch

[yeosatinyngz]

ME OR LUMIERE?

Xavier is jealous of your love for Lumiere (A lil twist to Xavier’s new myth story)

↳GN Reader | wc: 982 | Fluff/suggestive mention at the end

A/N: I'm trying to get my groove back for written pieces since I've only been making text fics so I hope this piece was alright, don't expect too much

With the arrival of the new film Apocalypse’s Dawn in theaters you excitedly dragged Xavier along with you since it was starring your all time favorite hero, Lumiere. Xavier on the other hand wasn’t nearly as excited as you were, matter of fact he was completely disinterested. 

After watching the film all you could do was talk about Lumiere and frankly it was getting on Xavier’s nerves. “Can we stop talking about him already and get some food instead? All your gushing over him has made me hungry” He grumpily murmured while storming away to find the nearest restaurant. What’s his problem? You thought to yourself while you tried to keep up with the irritated male. 

Xavier swore he didn’t mean to eavesdrop but he has somehow found himself pressed against the wall behind you and Tara, trying to hide his presence. He was just minding his business until he heard Tara ask you about your ideal type which stopped him in his tracks and led to him in his current position. 

You answered rather passionately, “My ideal type is someone like Lumiere. Brave, strong, selfless, not to mention handsome. He’s everything I can only dream about.” Tara couldn’t help but smile, “Ah that’s right I remember you mentioning being a big fan of Lumiere. It’s a shame that we don’t have more men like him” You nodded in agreement to Tara’s statement before you both had to part ways.

The bleach blonde who was eavesdropping displays a face of pure annoyance. Lumiere again?! 

Your eyes were fighting to beat unconsciousness from the amount of stress you put on yourself from fighting off a sudden wave of wanderers. As you were struggling to keep up your breathing a wanderer appeared before you about to strike you with an attack This is the end you helplessly voiced in your head. However, a flash of bright light appeared and the wanderer who was seconds away from finishing you was now defeated. The last image you had before you fully submerged into darkness was a figure resembling the same person who saved you 14 years ago. 

You woke up with a jolt to find yourself back in the comfort of your bed. Confused on how you ended back home, you were startled by a voice you know all too well. “Had a good sleep?” You looked up to see Xavier and nodded. That’s when all the memories were flashing back into your head and you looked Xavier straight in his eyes. “You- you saved me back there.” You said before softly adding on, “Lumiere saved me again.” 

You searched in Xavier’s eyes to try to find some sort of answer only to find a look of indifference. “That’s not what’s important right now, what matters right now is you getting a proper rest.” You awkwardly pressed your lips into a thin line and stayed quiet. The silence was quickly broken by Xavier, “So you’re a big fan of Lumiere huh?” 

That’s when you realized that while you were sleeping Xavier had seen the Lumiere shrine section of your room, decorated with a giant poster of him on the wall and a shelf with his merchandise including figures, plushies and pins. You shyly looked away from his piercing gaze while letting out an embarrassed laugh, “Yeah.”

He grabs ahold of your chin and turns it back so your eyes meet him once again. “Who do you like more, me or Lumiere?” The sudden question shocked you beyond disbelief. “So what’s your answer?” He demanded, snapping you out of your shock. “Uh I’m confused, Aren’t you and Lumiere the same person?”

He looks away with a slight frown, “But you don’t see them as such.” He looks back at you with that piercing gaze again while sitting next to you, slamming both his hands down besides your body, caging you in between his arms, “While Lumiere is handsome and courageous I’m nothing but your coworker aren’t I?” 

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh. Bringing your hands up to cup his face he looks away again with a pout on his face, you shook his face in your hands. “Oh my, are you perhaps jealous of Lumiere?” His pout deepens while he lets out a, “No, I’m not.” You couldn’t help but laugh again, “You’re too cute when you’re jealous.” You proceeded to plant a kiss on his forehead, “My answer is you, Xavier. It’s always been you.”

His eyes widened as he intensely searched your eyes to find truth behind your words. What he found was a pair of sincere eyes full of endearment. The same pair of eyes that he's been yearning to see for all these years. This was the moment he felt himself slipping, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. 

He softly smiles at you while tucking the hair in front of your face behind your ear, “Please stop me if you don’t want me to continue but I can’t control myself any longer when it comes to you.” Before you could process his words fully, his arm snakes around your waist pulling you closer to him, connecting both of your lips.

What started off as a sweet and tender kiss turned into something much more passionate, you can feel the desperation from Xavier’s kiss. He was kissing you as if it was his last, every attempt you made to free yourself from his lips would fail as he continued latching on to your lips.

When he finally freed himself of your lips you were a panting mess. Your heart was beating so fast you felt like it was gonna fly straight out of your body. How was this the same Xavier who was pouting cutely not too long ago? That was the night you found out that there was another identity Xavier was hiding from you, his freak in the sheets identity.

[dreamywriter143]

I Wish I Knew

Genre : ANGST, Slow-Burn, Unrequited love, SFW,Romance.

Status: Oneshot-Completed

Parings : Neteyam X Reader,

Warnings: Sad Neteyam, Unrequited love, Mutual Pinning, Mentions of blood/bullets, Mentions of alcohol and consumption (Please be advised), Panic attacks.

Inspired by; Bad Habit by Steve Lacy

Summary: Neteyam and Y/n have been joined at the hip since they were children. Growing feelings for one another was inevitable due to their close proximity. But Neteyam always suppressed his feelings in fear of losing his friendship with her. But as they grow into adults he can’t help but wonder, had he missed his chance?

Word count: 5.9k

———————————————————————

“How did you find me?” Neteyam asks, his eyes strained forward. He didn’t bother turning to face her as she set herself down. Her feet mirrored his as she dangled them over the edge of the cliff.

Neteyam knew it was her, he didn’t have to look to confirm who it was. He knew the moment she softly landed her Ikran, the coo of the creature he knew by heart because that always signaled her arrival. Her scent wafted through the light breeze as the air caused his body to freeze up. It was a scent he memorized. Because it smelt like her, because it was her. 

“Call it intuition?” She chuckles softly, the breeze picking up in the slightest. Her braided locks clacking against one another, the sound of the beads crashing caused Neteyam to quickly glance her way. 

Y/n peered up into the sky, the stars mirrored amongst her e/c irises beautifully. Neteyam stopped himself from getting lost in them, which he caught himself doing often. It was weird considering she was his dearest friend, his oldest friend. He just couldn't help the fluttery feeling that consumed him whenever she was near. He didn't know when it started, but as he grew, so did his feelings.

Neteyam and Y/n grew up joined at the hip, even though she was younger by one year the girl never hesitated to follow Neteyam to his duties. Always marveling at how he slowly but surely became such a great warrior, outranking all in his age group. Neteyam also adored her, he respected how she tried to become a warrior herself. Even though she fell short many times, it never deterred her from her goal. That same goofy smile plastered on her face even when her body was littered with bruises. 

Neteyam thought of her as a distraction at one point, but as they both grew up he realized how much he needed her support. Someone to talk to, someone to pour all his raw emotion on. And Y/n was always eager, her shoulders waiting for him to lean on as the days of stress pulled him down. It was as if she always knew how and what he was feeling.

 “What did he do this time?” Y/n whispers softly. 

Neteyam’s ears twitch to the sound of her voice, laced with concern and question. Neteyam had once again been on the receiving end of his fathers words. He was tasked to help Lo’ak with his tracking skills, but that skxawng decided to run mid session, almost getting eaten by a threatened mother Pululukan. Neteyam had barely made it in time to save Lo’ak as well as himself. The array of leaves covered in ointment scattered all over his body proved that it was indeed a close call. 

“He almost got eaten by a mother Pululukan” he replies solemnly.

 He catches the way Y/n’s eyes scrunch together at the mental image. Her brows furrowing together, her lips forming into a frown. 

“Let me guess, you took the blame?” Y/n asks, more like declares. 

She knew Neteyam like the back of her hand. Of course he took the blame from his brother, always has and always will. It’s just that each time he did, he never could recover the pieces that Jake tore apart upon each lecture. That’s where Y/n came in, always ready to piece him back together. 

“You shouldn’t protect him all the time. He’s 15 Neteyam, he has to realize the stunts he pulls have consequences” Y/n says, her body turning to face him. Neteyam averts his eyes, not wanting her to catch his gaze that was already lingering on her. 

“It’s my job, I’m the eldest son. If I don’t watch over my siblings, who will?” Neteyam replies back, refusing to look her in the eyes. Y/n sighs out in defeat. She knew how much Nteeyam loved and cared for his siblings, she felt the same way being the only child. That's why she stuck to the family like glue. As if they were a second family.

“Then who will have your back?” She asks, her voice laced with concern. Neteyam finds his lips twitching at her words. She never failed to surprise him with her caring nature. It was astonishing to the young warrior that someone like her, who was so kind and nurturing, was also a warrior. Someone that equaled his skills at times.

He turns around to face her, locking eyes. He felt his breath hitch at their close proximity, how her eyes shone under the moonlight with such allure. He felt like he was being sucked in, and he didn’t feel it within himself to deny the feeling. 

“I was hoping you would”  a smile twitches along his lips. 

Y/n let’s out a giggle, her eyes filling with a twinkle which left Neteyam starstruck. Oh how beautiful she looked under the moonlight, it had to be a sin. 

“I thought that was a given” she teases, playfully nudging her shoulder against his. The feeling sent a jolt of electricity through his body, causing a pleasurable shiver to run along his spine. It was moments like these that made him feel alive, that made him feel sane. So much stress has been put upon him since birth, all washing away with a mere smile. 

“Just making sure” Neteyam easily replies back, opting to lean against her shoulder. Something they did often when they sought each other for comfort. Y/n hums happily, leaning her weight against his. She rests her head against him, breathing in the night sky. 

“You are obligated to take care of your siblings Neteyam. That I respect. Just….take care of yourself too, ok?” Y/n suggests softly. Neteyam lets out a sigh, nodding his head, agreeing with her words. Seeming satisfied by his non verbal response Y/n smiles wide.

 “And I’ll always be here for you Neteyam. I’ll never leave your side. You are my best friend after all” she teases her eyes locking onto the moon, oh how majestic it looked.

Neteyam thickly swallows the lump in his throat. At that moment the feeling of serenity left him. He enjoyed his moments with Y/n. Over the years it seems as though these particular moments held all his happiness. It felt great when he was naïve to his feelings.

At first he was confused as to what the quicken heartbeats meant when he would stare into her eyes. He questioned the butterflies in his stomach, and an unfamiliar fluttery feeling whenever she gazed at him. 

It took him a while, but once he realized what he was feeling, it was already too late. The feeling had grown without his knowledge. What was once a simple crush grew to infatuation. He felt cursed, cursed to loving his friend who didn’t love him the same way. The unconditional love that seemed to grow year by year. 

~~~~~~ 

“Shhh, don’t speak!” Kiri shushs, crouching down near the tent. The close call with the RDA left quite an impact with the Sully children and Y/n. After Y/n had decided to accompany Lo’ak and Spider on their adventure, all so she could keep a watchful eye on Tuk. They got caught by the RDA. Y/n desperately held Tuk within her grasp all while her tswin was harshly being held against her.

The moment Neteyam heard Y/n’s name over the com an unexplainable dread came over his form. They had his siblings, they had Y/n. What if he was late? What if he couldn’t save her in time? As he quickly showed his parents the quicker way he was determined to find her. He was determined to ensure her safety. 

Neteyam didn’t have to think twice about going against his fathers orders and got involved right away. Because he knew, if it were the other way around, Y/n wouldn’t hesitate to disobey orders from her leader to save his siblings, himself included. 

The relief that flooded Neteyam’s system was like waves after waves as he realized everyone was safe and unscathed. He pulled Y/n tightly against him, relishing in her heat as she shook under his hold. Sobs racking her body in full force. She was terrified by what had transpired and Neteyam felt useless being unable to console her. 

As the siblings and Y/n eavesdrop on the parents' conversations, Neteyam keeps a firm grasp of Y/n’s hand. Ever since the incident Y/n has been desperately latching into him. Her fear is getting the best of her. Neteyam felt horrible for what she went through, but loved the feeling of her needing him, wanting to hold him. 

“He had our children. He had them under his knife!” Jake hisses.

Y/n audibly gulps. Was he actually suggesting they leave? Flee the clan? Y/n felt her heart drop to her stomach with a sickening feeling. They would leave her, her second family would leave her here alone for their own safety. And Y/n couldn’t do anything about it. She wanted them safe more than anything, but the fear of them leaving caused her to choke up with unbridled sadness. 

Feeling her eyes sting with tears Y/n pushes herself into Neteyam’s embrace. He was shocked at first but welcomed it. Would this be the last time he held her? Feel her pressed up against him like this? He would wake up every day not seeing her face? Neteyam’s throat closes up at the thought, letting Y/n nuzzle into the crevice of his neck. He wraps one hand around her for support as he bites lips furiously. He couldn’t cry, as much as he wanted to. He is a warrior after all. He had to stay strong.

“What about Y/n? She was protecting Tuk, they know she is close to the family. They will hunt her down Ma’Jake” Neytiri cries in fear.  

Both Neteyam and Y/n freeze up at her words. Lo’ak and Kiri glance at the duo, horror stricken as well. It was true, Y/n tried her best to cover Tuk during the entire altercation. They didn’t bother inspecting her hands while they were focused on Lo’ak and Kiri. But her involvement meant they knew her. And where to find her.

 “I’ll speak to her parents. It’s not safe for her here” Jake says, causing Y/n to gasp in shock. She covers her mouth before looking at each Sully. Confirming what she heard was true. He was suggesting she go with them. 

Feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion Y/n abruptly stands up, before sprinting towards her tent. Neteyam moves to follow her but Kiri stops him midstep. Her expression of worry for her friend.

“Give her some space, brother” 

~~~~~~~~~

“How did you find me?” Y/n asks softly, her back facing Neteyam as he took tentative steps towards her. He purposely made sure his steps were heard, he didn’t want to startle her after all they’ve been through the past few days. If he wanted to go unnoticed, he would have succeeded. He was very silent with his footing. 

“Call is intuition?” Neteyam lightly teases, taking a seat beside her. His shoulders slide against her, feeling her body cold against him. Neteyam flinches upon contact. How long had she been out here? 

“Eywa Y/n, you’re freezing. How long have you been out here?” He questions his eyes trained in her. She turns her head to face him, her puffy cheeks covered with the stains of her tears she had shed a while ago. She sighs out, shrugging her shoulders in response. Neteyam frowns, he felt sick to his stomach seeing her like this.

The past two days have been utter hell for him. After Jake declared the decision to the family he went on about how Tarsem would be the next Olo'eyktan. Not to mention when Jake left to relay the news to Y/n’s  parents. They were upset at first but stressed for her future, they agreed that for her future she needed to flee. For her own safety. Y/n’s parents reluctantly agreed to the request, she would be unsafe the longer she stayed within the village. Ever since that, Y/n had been actively avoiding the Sully’s, Neteyam included. 

Neteyam lost his birthright, and best friend all in one day. 

He's been through a rollercoaster of emotion's and sadness the past few days, but he was able to come to terms with it. His family came first, if he were to lose his title for that, then so be it.

Neteyam also wanted to approach Y/n many times but respected his sister's wishes to give her space. By the fourth day he was fed up, he couldn’t stay away from her. He had to ensure she was ok, he also missed her terribly. Thus why he came all the way out here in search of her. He missed her terribly and couldn’t help but blame himself for everything that has happened. 

“I’m sorry…” Neteyam whispers, his voice cracking under everything he felt. Y/n’s eyes snap to him, concerned glossing over irises in confusion. 

“W-what? For?” She asks scooting closer to him. Neteyam clenched his hands into fists.

“For you getting involved….for forcing you to leave everything you’ve known, your family, your friends, for us..” he admits, head bowed down shamefully. Y/n lets out a shaky sigh, taking her small hands and using them to cup Neteyam’s cheeks. He allows her to lift his face up to meet her waiting eyes, all while still cupping his cheeks. 

“Neteyam…..I was sad, the first day. But I’m at peace with it. I will not endanger our people, my family, just so I can stay here. I’m fine with coming along with your family. In fact, I’m grateful your family thought of me and my protection” Y/n says softly. Neteyam lets out the breath he was holding, his shoulders relaxing significantly. He felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He couldn’t explain how happy he was to hear this. She was ok with coming with him, she was at peace with it. How could he not feel happy? 

“Then….why have you been avoiding us?….have I done something to upset you? Has someone else done something?” Neteyam asks, he tries to play it off as a regular question but it came out as a plea. His need for her seeping through his words. Y/n thickly swallows, as if his question caused her to choke up again. Neteyam sits up straighter, placing his hands over hers. Y/n clears her throat before taking a deep breath. 

“I-it’s you…”  she says, causing Neteyam to go slightly stiff. 

“All your life you’ve been training to become an Olo'eyktan. You’ve worked so hard, proved yourself and gained so much respect amongst the people. I know, because I was always there to watch you from afar. Admiring your strength and vigor-“ Neteyam felt a sad smile twitch along his lips. She’s always been there, always watching him grow. Always seeing him.

“-once I heard Tarsem being announced as the next leader, it was as if a part of me shattered…..here I am, watching helplessly as my best friends dream slips through his fingers….all because I couldn’t try hard enough to keep Lo’ak from venturing out” Y/n croaks, tears streaming down her face. 

Neteyam is quick to wipe the fresh tears away from her cold skin. The past few days Y/n had been beating herself over the fact that she may be the reason Neteyam had lost his birthright. What he dreamt of every day. In a way, his dream became apart of her dream as well, as she watched him grow.

Neteyam pulls her in for a hug, his heart soaring but his heart crumbling. “It’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself Syulang. Please” Neteyam begs, feeling Y/n shake that much harder under his hold, unable to hold back her cries of pain. After a while Y/n settles down, slightly pulling back to wipe her eyes. 

“Neteyam, I-“ 

“Don’t you dare apologize” he interrupts her, swiping the streaks of tears along her cheeks. His gaze stern. Y/n seems to frown at his word but understands he didn’t want to speak of the matter any longer. 

“I was sad,” Neteyam says, causing her ears to twitch with attention.

“I was sad that I’ve lost my goal, that I have to leave everything I’ve known growing up. I lost my title that I worked so hard for, but I can prove myself again. I know it. This isn't the end Y/n, but a new beginning…also a part of me is happy knowing I have my family to rely on….happy that I’ll have you” he admits, words that felt like stones to his heart because he knew Y/n wouldn’t interpret his words for what he actually wanted to say.

‘I love you, I need you with me’

“Oh Neteyam. I’ll follow you to the ends of Pandora. I’ll always be by your side.” She croaks, pulling him in for a tight embrace. Neteyam presses his head against her temple, inhaling her scent. A scent that always gave him comfort.

“I know, I’ll always be there for you Y/n. Always'' 

~~~~~~~~~

“Watch his head!!!” Lo’ak hisses, struggling to pick Neteyam up on the rocks. Tsireya steadies his legs, Y/n and Spider holding his side as they haul him over as gently as possible. Y/n winces at the sharp pain on her arm, her tears staining her cheeks. She helps set Neteyam down as he looks up at her, concern lacing his painful expression. 

“Y-y/n” He whimpers out, seeing the distant look in her eye. That of fear. 

After Neteyam and Lo’ak decided to find  Spider deeper in the ship, they didn’t notice how Y/n snuck in after them. She stayed quiet making sure to stay a few feet behind them, her knife in the ready to assist them if needed. 

A lot has happened over the past few months, the quick adaptation to the sea, the Metkayina clan not accepting them and dealing with the RDA once again was like hit after hit. Y/n had failed to keep Kiri safe when the Ikran snatched her away; she refused to allow Neteyam and Lo’ak to get hurt under her watch. 

Her attention snaps back to Neteyam and Lo’ak jumping down taking on some of the human soldiers. Y/n doesn’t even hesitate jumping down to assist them while Neteyam and Lo’ak stare at her in shock. Seeing a soldier get up she grabs the gun off the floor, shooting the man shakily. 

“Y/n! What are you doing here?” Neteyam demands, snatching the gun from her shaking hands. Y/n looks over at the three who stare at her in astonishment.

 “I can’t let you do this alone. Now let’s get out of here!!” Y/n encourages her ears twitch at the sound of rapid footsteps nearing them. As they run away from many soldiers, Y/n sends Lo’ak and Spider to jump into the water safely while Neteyam fires the gun to distract the soldiers shooting their way. 

“Go! Go!” Neteyam hollers, his eyes focused on the soldiers who refuse to give up. 

“Not without you!” Y/n demands, her eyes widening, seeing the soldier come closer for a clearer shot. “Shit!” Y/n shoves Neteyam pulling him with her. She glances over her shoulder seeing the avatar directly point the barrel of his gun towards Neteyam. Towards his chest. Using her adrenaline to her advantage she shoves Neteyam into the water, tumbling after him. 

The moment she crashed into the sea she heard the happy screams of Lo’ak and Spider as she desperately looked for Neteyam. She noticed the crimson in the water before she caught sight of Neteyam, holding onto his arm in pain. 

“I’ve been s-shot” he struggles out. The three words Y/n never wanted to hear. 

As she helped Tsireya pull Neteyam into the Iiu she was shocked to see the blood in the water increase. All of a sudden she feels a sting on her side, glancing down she is able to see a flesh wound, where the bullet had grazed her as well. It seemed as though colliding her body against Neteyam caused the bullet to gaze at her arm as well as his. 

Y/n snaps her attention back to Neteyam as he regulates his breathing. Luckily the bullet hasn't penetrated his arm, but the gash was deep enough to cause a lot of blood. Neteyam was about to pass out from the blood loss. Y/n shakily puts pressure on his wound, drowning out the sounds around her. 

Tsireya audibly gasps seeing blood pour out of Y/n’s arms. The girl was in shock, therefore not registering how everyone was around her, as well as her own injury. Her attention solely focused on the wound  as she tried to stop the bleeding. 

“Y/n!! Your arm!!” Lo’ak screams in hysterics, his father rushing towards them. Seeing Neteyam on the floor he clutches down, noting there was no wound on his chest, just his arm. 

“Is there an exit wound?” He asks crouching down to his level. Neteyam groans back, glancing between his father and Y/n.

“N-no, it's just a graze….Y/n save m-me” Neteyam says through clenched teeth, pain cursing through the entirety of his arm. Jake looks at Y/n  with relief but it disappeared upon seeing her own gash.

“S-she’s hurt dad, p-please” Neteyam whispers, seeing how Y/n’s eyes were glazed onto him, as if she were in a trance, in her own world. She didn’t register her pain or when Jake had instructed Tsireya to hold onto her wound to stop the bleeding.

 “Y/n '' Neteyam calls again, causing her to break eye contact, resting on his face. Her initial shock wore off at the sound of his concerned tone. 

“You’re hurt” Neteyam breathes out, feeling some relief flood into his system with her pressing tightly against the wound. Y/n shakes her head.

 “You Skxawng you almost died. Don’t worry about me” she assured shakily, sending a tear sticker Tsireya a small smile. Neteyam coughs, his feeble attempt to laugh at her tone. She sounded like a mother bird, always stressing over everyone including him. 

“T-thank you. For saving me” 

Y/n smiles at his words, her eyes glossing with warmth. She felt panic rise deep within her at the sight of so much blood. But seeing him alert and responding proved that he was ok. He was alive.

“I told you I’ll always be there for you. I’ve got your back” 

~~~~~~~~~ 

5 years. 

It’s been five years since that fateful day. The day they won against the sky people, since the day Tonowari and Ronal accepted them as true Metkayina. One with the Reef.

Since then the Sully’s and Y/n have accomplished a lot. Lo’ak was finally recognized as a man, completing his Iknimaya. He was Metkayina now, able to prove Payakan as a hero as the people accepted him.

Neteyam also completed his Iknimaya. Claiming a Tulkun for himself as well as a Tsurak on his first try. He was known as a fierce warrior amongst the clan, Tonowari and Jake were greatly proud of his accomplishments. He had proven himself, and was seen as a mighty warrior. He finally felt like he gained what he once lost.

Kiri and Y/n also finished their Iknimaya with equal results, following Ronal and her teachings as Tsahik. And today, Tuk had finally completed hers. Thus the celebration that had been held for the majority of the day in celebration of her. Her feats at such a young age were being appreciated greatly. 

Once the celebration had died down, the group decided to sit around a fire, taking sips of the celebratory alcohol to reminisce about the past.

“Do you remember when Payakan swallowed you whole? I was so scared that you were sent to Eywa!! If it weren't for Tsireya and Ao’nung then I would have had to throw hands with a Tulkun in your memory” Neteyam lets out a booming laugh, Tsireya cracking up next to her mate. Lo’ak rolls his eyes playfully at his brother's antics, nudging Tsireya who sat beside him, their hands clutching small cups of liquor.

Y/n laughed aloud at the memory, she sat perched on a large log beside Kiri and her mate Roxto. His hand held her against him as she laid her head on his shoulder. The alcohol evading her system.

 “Oh yea? Who was it that fell face first into the sea right after they tamed their Tsurak?” Lo’ak taunts, Roxto snickering loudly at the memory. Neteyam frowns, drowning his drink in one go. Y/n giggles, her eyes crinkling with happiness.

 “I have a better story, how about that time Lo’ak burst into tears when getting his first tattoo? I remember the big fat tears rolling down his eyes'' Y/n teases causing Lo’ak to scoff loudly. Tsireya giggles at the memory, how Lo’ak clutched her hand in a vise-like grip that left a bruise. 

“Hey! Not fair, you’re defending Neteyam again!” Lo’ak accuses causing  Y/n to send a playful wink across to Neteyam. Neteyam smiles, his heart thumping wildly against his chest. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol but Y/n looked absolutely breathtaking under the moonlight. Her hips grew fuller over the years, her bust also growing a few sizes, beautifully adorned with shells of the sea. Her hair had grew straight down to her waist, the tattoos running down from her arm all the down to her thighs. She looked stunning. 

“Neteyam?” Tsireya calls his attention to her, his head snapping towards her. Embarrassed to have been caught gazing towards Y/n’s direction.

“Sorry, I blanked out for a second. The alcohol is strong. What was the topic?” He asks, glancing at Y/n who takes a tiny sip of the sweetly tangy drink. 

“We were talking about crushes. Lo’ak said he didn’t like anyone but me-“ Tsireya furiously blushes as Lo’ak smirks wide. “-I admitted to a childish crush I had as a child that died down a long time ago. Before I met Lo’ak. Now it's your turn. Have you had any crushes?” She asks.

Neteyam feels hot under everyone’s watchful stare. He forced down  the sick feeling in his stomach, as he forced his stare on the fire in front of him. He didn’t stare at Y/n across from him, the girl who had his heart for years. The love that seemed to always  torture him, knowing he could never have her. How could he love her? Was he even worth her? These questions always kept his confession at bay after all these years. 

He didn’t feel worthy of himself and he feared losing her altogether. He feared that if he spilled the longing he had for her, she’d run away and never turn back. Which is why he never even attempted to confess to her, painfully opting to watch from afar. Loving her from afar. It didn't hurt much since he grew accustomed to the pain, learning how to numb the burning jealousy and sadness within. He knew she didn't love him, that was the only thing that keep him sane.

There was no other female that ever held a candle to her, no other girl who took his breath away. No girl who caused his soul to smile with pure joy. There was no one that took up his heart the way she did, from the very young age of 13. It had always been her. 

“Not really. Back home I was so busy with my duties I hardly had time to look for a potential mate let alone a crush. I did feel something once…… but it ended quickly. It also didn’t help that I had to stay vigilant and watch over my troublesome siblings”  he states, earning a glare from both Kiri and Lo’ak. Neteyam was shocked at how easily he was able to lie through his teeth. He added a tiny bit of the truth in there to make his story believable. 

 Neteyam stifles a laugh, looking anywhere else but Y/n. He didn’t want his feelings to betray him, after many long years.

The group seems satisfied with his response as they move on to Roxto, then Kiri. Both admitting to never having feelings for anyone else until they met each other. How romantic. 

Then, it landed on Y/n. 

“So, did you have any childhood crushes??” Tsireya asks giddily, genuinely interested. Y/n giggles covering her mouth with her hand, her cheeks turning purple in embarrassment. Neteyam finds himself smiling at the gesture. 

“I did, and it wasn't a childhood crush. It was serious until I realized I didn’t have a shot and I had to move on” Y/n starts, every eye on her. All equally invested.

 Neteyam goes stiff. She liked someone? It wasn't a child-like crush, it was serious. Who was it? Had he turned her down? How didn't he notice? Neteyam is bombarded with these questions as he leans closer into the circle. Now fully invested. 

“Who was it?” Roxto asks, sitting on the edge of his seat. Y/n chuckles, sending Neteyam a quick apologetic glance. Neteyam’s eyes furrow in question. 

“It was Neteyam….” 

Neteyam’s ears flatten against his head, his breathing comes to a halt at her words. 

“I loved Neteyam for the longest time, ever since I was a little  girl. I always followed him around” Y/n adds chucking at the memory fondly. Everyone shares smiles, wanting to hear more.

 All while Neteyam sat frozen in time. She loved him? Ever since she began following him? ‘How could I have been so blind….w-we both l-loved each other?’ Neteyam felt stupid, he hated himself for not noticing. All that time thinking he wasn't good enough, all that time worrying he’d lose their friendship over a confession. All of the pain that came with watching her from a distance. All that pain. All of it could have been avoided. 

“Did you know?” Lo’ak asks causally causing Neteyam to jolt up. 

“N-no I n-neve-“ 

“I made sure he didn’t notice. I honestly never thought I had a chance which is why I decided to keep everything under wraps” Y/n quickly cuts in. In her eyes Neteyam looked disgruntled and slightly uncomfortable. When in reality he was beating himself up for being so foolish.

“How did you get over it?? When did you get over it?” Kiri asks, causing Roxto to nudge her. “You don’t have to answer if that makes you uncomfortable!” Kiri quickly adds, 

“It’s fine, we're all adults here. And it was a while ago I guess…I took many years to get over him. But eventually I did and now I’ve finally moved on '' Y/n looks at Neteyam apologetically. 

“I’m sorry Neteyam, this must be so uncomfortable. Hearing that your best friend once had a crush on you” Y/n says apologetically causing Neteyam to finally find his voice in the middle of his shock. 

“No. It’s f-fine. If I knew I would hav-“ Neteyam whispers his feeling blubber inside of him. He felt he had to let her know, know that he felt the same. That he still feels the same. His feelings almost slip past his lips as Ao’nung walks towards the group with an annoyed sigh. Holding a tray filled with drinks accompanied with a gourd. 

“Next time you guys want drinks, don’t order the future Olo'eyktan to grab them for you” Ao’nung grumbles, handing Tsireya the tray who passes it around. Neteyam mechanically accepts his glass, his eyes sorrowfully watching as Ao’nungs seats himself beside Y/n. Pulling her into an embrace. 

Y/n stares up into his eyes lovingly as Ao’nung places a careful kiss on her cheek. 

Neteyam feels sick to his stomach as he watches the mated pair cuddle against one another. His entire life he suppressed his feelings. Feelings he thought were forbidden. Dwellings he thought would harm his friendship with the girl he longed and dreamed about. 

He painfully watched the last 4 years as Y/n and Ao’nung got closer together, eventually announcing their union before Ewya. Neteyam felt a part of him die that day, but he was okay and happy knowing she found someone she loved, after all, what he felt was unrequited, she didn't love him back. Therefore he never had a chance. 

But now, all that self talk and self reassurance crumbled as Y/n had confessed she once loved him. For so long. 

There was a perfect moment in time where  they both mutually loved another. 

‘Only if I wasn't a coward’ Neteyam cursed, his eyes stinging with the unshed tears as he watched Y/n nuzzle against Ao’nung. Her mate for life.

He missed his chance, long ago. But now he would have to live with the knowledge he lost her not because she didn’t leave him back. But because he was too much of a coward to fight for his love for her. 

“Hey, are you ok?” Lo’ak whispers quietly, ignoring the chattering group. He made his way over to his brother who had been dead silent for a while. He catches the glossy look in his brother's eyes, how he watched Y/n from across the fire. A look filled with longing, sadness and regret.

 Lo’ak felt his stomach lurch at the thought that Neteyam might be on the verge of crying. 

“Neteyam?” He calls again, Neteyam finally turning to his brother. His eyes blown wide as he struggles to hold in his tears. Small gasps escaped his body that caused his body to shake. Lo’ak realizes the symptoms Neteyam was having, a start of a panic attack. He quickly pulls his brother up, letting him rest all his weight against his body. This catches the attention of the group as Y/n stands up, her face scrunched with worry. 

“Nete-"

“It’s fine, he’s feeling sick. Told you guys he can’t hold his liquor” Lo’ak jokes teasingly. He tosses Tsireya a knowing look before excusing himself from the group. All the while having Y/n’s  worried stare focus on the retreating boys. 

As they walk a good few feet away Lo’ak glances at his brother's defeated face. The tears run along his cheeks freely as he tries to regulate his breathing. His face was in complete mourning, as if he had lost something of high value.

Lo’ak was able to put the pieces together, Why he had been acting differently. Why his brother always looked at Y/n as if she held the stars, in complete wonderment. And why he looked completely distraught hearing Y/n confess about her past feelings. 

“It was her….you loved her didn’t you” Lo’ak states causing Neteyam to whimper out in pain.

 “Yes” he gasps. He felt as though his world was crumbling around him. 

“It has always been her” 

Lo’ak felt his heart crumble, his brother, the mighty warrior looking defeated as the life in his eyes disappeared. It was as if he felt as though he had nothing else to live for. 

Neteyam choked in another sob, unable to control himself any longer. He desperately wished he could go back in time. Tell his younger self to open his eyes. To take the step he couldn’t take.

He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he was aware of her feelings back then. Would they have been mated? Would they be this stupidly in love? Would they begin to start a family Neteyam always dreamed about. Neteyam couldn’t help but wonder. 

‘I wish I knew…..’ his vision became blurry with the endless tears. His sobs taking him full force, causing him to shake in Lo’ak’s arms. 

‘I wish I knew you wanted me’

____________________________________________________________

A/N: Hi!!!! I hope you enjoyed, I was was in a angsty mood so I decided to finish this idea I had for a while. I'm not good at writing angst so this is my attempt! Let me know what you think! I love receiving input from you guys. Also, Thank you for 250 Followers!!!!! I'm so blessed!! I love you guysss!!!!

[the1975attheirverybest]

I Miss You

A/N: based on this request.

Warnings: smut.

***

Matty's body jolted awake as the plane hurtled through another round of turbulence. The first thought that popped into his head as he woke up was that he missed her. He blinked slowly. The sunlight from the airplane window pierced through his eyelids. His headphones were still playing the music that he'd been listening to at takeoff. He'd only been out a few tracks so it can't have been that long of a nap. He can't wait to land at Heathrow and rush home to her arms. It's all that he can daydream about. All that he’s been dreaming about for a while. 

Every single piece of him ached for her. He's missed her voice. The signature scent of her body lotion. The roll of her eyes whenever he made a lame pun that she tries (but fails) not to laugh at. The feeling of her fingers running through his hair, lulling him to sleep.

He's really missed her.

Back at home, she'd missed him, too. She'd been counting down the hours until she could finally see him again. She'd even called Dirty Hit to ask what time the car was picking him up at the airport twice.

It'd been tough without him. It always is. But especially whenever work gets hectic, or she gets sick, or sad, and simply living her life feels overwhelming without him in it. Most of all she'd missed him in their shared bed. Missed sex. She couldn't wait to feel the weight of his body pinning her down. She couldn’t wait for his fingers to be wrapped around her neck, or pulling her hair. Or to drive him mad with a simple touch from her. To bring him to his knees and hear him moan and whimper for her. Things had gotten dire recently. A simple photo of him could send her head spinning.

Which is why he'd hardly made it all the way through the door before she was glued to him, kissing and moaning into his mouth.

Matty let out a shaky breath. "H-hi darling." He swallowed harshly. "Missed you."

"Missed you too." She whispered against his lips, kissing him again. "Missed you so much... need you so much.”

***

"You hungry?" She asked, scrolling the delivery app,

"I could get us something to eat."

Matty threw his travel clothes into the hamper, feeling several tons lighter. 

"Not really. The flight's kinda made me a bit- I dunno." He shrugged. "Nauseous, or whatever."

"My poor baby." She pouted, putting her phone down to look at him.

"Think I'll just shower and call it a night."

The words "shower" and "night" conjured up, in her mind, images of steam and rolling in bedsheets. She bit her lower lip. "May I join you?" Her lashing batted at him. 

The thought of her in there with him, wet skin to wet skin, her washing his hair for him, holding him under the torrent of hot, relaxing water. He could melt. "Of course. Always."

***

Matty stepped out of the bathroom, the cool air of the bedroom causing a shiver to run through him. He reached for his boxers, but she nudged them away.

"you won't be needing those just yet." She sank down to her knees

he smiled. "Is that so?”

“Tell me something, Matty.” She mused, her hand absentmindedly stroking him, fiddling with his third orgasm at her fingertips. “How often did you think about me while you were away, hmm?”

“Wh-what?”

She wasn’t sure if he was asking her to repeat because, in his struggle for self-composure,  he hadn’t heard her, if his ‘what?’was rhetorical, or if he was genuinely confused by her question. 

“I’m just asking.” She shrugged. “Because I dreamt about this for weeks. Could we get an orgasm out of you for each week? To, you know, make up for lost time?”

Matty swallowed harshly, shaking his head. "please. Please, may I cum? It's been- it's been so long. I'm so-*

she felt his cock twitch in her hand, precum bubbling at his tip.

"please, darling. Please. I- I'm so dizzy, I need- i can't anymore."

"Yes, you can." She stated calmly, admiring the way that his body shook in response to her touch.

"n-no. No, I mean it." He attempted to pull away from her but she squeezed him harder. "I- I can't hold it anymore- I'm gonna- I- need- to tap out. Stop. Can we stop? R-red. I'm calling red, please! Please, no more. I’m sorry- stop. Stop.” Matty let out a sob, repeating an endless string of words. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, no more. Please. No more. I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

her blood ran cold hearing the safe word coming from him. For the first time ever. She paused instantly, retracting her hands and putting them up in the air where he can clearly see them. 

“Hey, hey, hey…look, look. Matty, look at me. We’ve stopped, okay?” She voice trembled.

She was stunned by how blank her mind had gone, instantly. Theoretically speaking, she knew what she ought to do. They’d spoken about it before. Endlessly. What should happen if one of them ever needed to stop. Logically, she knew that she needed to, first, make sure he wasn’t physically hurt or injured. Then, she needed to help calm him down. Those were the top two priorities that, in the clear minded agreements of the past, they’d both promised to abide by. Right now, though, all she could feel is all-consuming guilt and concern. Had she hurt him? Is he okay? Would he ever forgive her? Is she a monster? Why is she so selfish- worrying about herself when this is clearly about him?

“M-matty, baby, can- I ask what’s wrong?” She finally mustered after way too long. 

He blushed, sniffling, trying to stifle his cries. “I’m fine…it’s fine. Thank you for stopping. I just-“

“Was it too much? Are you hurt?” The thought made her physically sick “have I hurt you?”

He shook his head. “No, no. I’m alright. I just…I dont think we should’ve done that tonight.”

“Sorry, what?” She looked baffled. “I- don’t think I understand.”

Matty sat up straight, wiping at his face with the back of his hand and attempting to force himself to look into her eyes. “I’m not sure I wanted sex tonight. Or….i think-“

“What? You didn’t want-“

“I think I did- I do. Just….i had a different idea in my mind about what it would look like.”

“Did I force you- did you not-“ she caught herself getting angry and tried to breathe. “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt. G- go on. You were saying…”

“Nothing. That’s it. I just mean- I want to be with you. Just maybe slower? Softer?” He blushed at his own words. “Sound like a fuckin virgin, don’t I?” 

He managed to pull a smile out of her. 

“I think we moved too fast. I- I’m feeling a bit vulnerable. But you were so excited and you said-“

“Fuck. I wouldn’t shut up about how long I’ve been waiting.” Realization hit her. 

“- and I thought that I’d get there eventually. If I just went with it, maybe my headspace would shift.”

“But it didn’t, did it?”

Matty exhaled a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in, his shoulders feeling lighter. “Sorry.” His eyes look down. “It got more and more difficult as we went on. I- don’t know. It’s confusing. Usually, sex makes me feel close to you. This felt like I was farther and farther away. Scared myself a bit.”

She reached her hand out to caress his cheek as he spoke but decided against it, unsure if touching him was the right move right now. Matty saw her hesitation. He pulled her hand to his face, placing it there, kissing it out of the corner of his lips. 

“Can I ask- what do you need right now?” Her cheeks flushed as she spoke. 

Matty looked her dead in the eyes. “I need you.”

His words went straight to her head, making her dizzy. She loves him more than anything, it was terrifying sometimes. 

“Please? Just…gently this time? Is that alright?”

***

“Ready for me?” She waited for his eyes to flutter shut after he gave himself a tug and she placed small, soft kisses to his eye lids. 

“Mhm. So ready. Wanna feel you all around me, please.”

Slowly, she moved to straddle him, her hands placed on his abdomen for balance, she sunk down gradually, biting her lower lip. She didn’t want the sound of her own moans to take away the beauty of his. She reveled in the gasps he let out the further that she took him, hearing his voice get caught in his throat, watching his face scrunch up, his breath shake in his chest. 

“Ohhh…fuck- ing Christ!” He mumbled. 

“Almost forgot how tightly you fill me.” She whispered as if wanting it to stay a secret between them. the initial, slight, tinge of discomfort quickly fizzling into pleasure. “I’ve missed you so much.” 

Her hands rested at the base of his neck, her lips kissed along his jawline, hips rolling instinctively against his the more heated that she got. 

Matty groaned, surprised by the sudden movement. She felt it in the way that his jaw suddenly stiffened. 

“Shit- sorry. Too much?”

He giggled, shaking his head. “N-no. It’s good- Feels good.” A smile flashed across his face as he relaxed, letting himself be handled by her. “I can…take over, if-“

“No, no. I like this. I like being so close to you. On top of you. Filled to the brim with you.”

He’d attempted to reciprocate, but all that came out was incoherent moaning as her hips suddenly began to build momentum. Not that she minded. His words slurring with pleasure was the best compliment he could give her. Absolute music to her ears. 

She rested her head against his chest, tucked tightly underneath his chin, placing small kisses to his skin wherever possible as she rode him, breathlessly. 

“Matty, baby? Do you think- do you have it in you- I mean, I know that I’ve already made you cum before, but-“

“Mhm. Can do it again.” He nodded, beads of sweat dripping down the sides of his face. 

“Together, then?”

He smiled, feeling her clench around him, at this rate, he’d burst at any moment. “Y-yeah.” His arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer and pressing their chests together. 

“You feel so good it makes my head spin.” He whispered into her ear. “I swear it’s like you were made for me.”

She blushed, unable to help the smile that overtook her face. He knew what praise did to her. Her fingernails clawed at his chest desperately, sure to leave a mark. “I think I’m gonna- I’m ready to-“ she whispered. 

“Cum for me, darling. Let me feel you. Fuckin missed you. Missed this. Don’t think I’ll ever leave again.”

[starsreminisce]

“Would you be frightened of her, if Nesta was—Death? Or if her power came from it?” Cassian was quiet for a long moment. He said at last, “I’m a warrior. I’ve walked beside Death my entire life. I would be more afraid for her, to have that power. But not afraid of her.” He considered, and added after a heartbeat, “Nothing about Nesta could frighten me.”

Friendly reminder that Cassian didn’t uncover Nesta’s power, but he was the only one who fully embraced it and helped Nesta learn to channel and hone it during their book.

Much like Lucien a little later in the same book for his mate.

But Mor tried again. “There is a reason why Elain is seeing these things. She was right about the other queen turning old, about the Ravens’ attack—why is she being sent this image? Why is she hearing this queen? It must be vital. If we ignore it, perhaps we’ll deserve to fail.” Silence. I surveyed them all. Vital. Each of them was vital here. But me … I sucked in a breath. “I’ll go.” Lucien was staring at Elain as he spoke. We all looked at him. Lucien shifted his focus to Rhys, to me. “I’ll go,” he repeated, rising to his feet. “To find this sixth queen.”

Which makes this particular line more fitting for Elain and Lucien to explore together.

Amren said, “You tracked the Cauldron—” “It nearly killed me. It trapped me like a bird in a cage.” Elain said, “Then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” “Absolutely not,” Nesta spat, fingers curling at her sides. “Absolutely not.” “Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?”

Especially when he has a habit of helping females do things they shouldn't be doing, other than just because they want to, exactly the way that speaks to their expertise, unlike a certain shadowsinger Elain is paired with.

“But if you were a Suriel,” I added with deliberate slowness, in case he hadn’t caught my meaning, “how, exactly, would I trap you?” Lucien set down the knife and picked at his nails. For a moment, I wondered if he would tell me anything at all. Wondered if he would go right to Tamlin and tattle. But then he said, “I’d probably have a weakness for groves of young birch trees in the western woods, and freshly slaughtered chickens, and would probably be so greedy that I wouldn’t notice the double-loop snare rigged around the grove to pin my legs in place.”

[lucidlivi]

Chosen For Pleasure (IV)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

Tag List: @ladysparkles78 @suckitands33@little-x-wolf @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @lessons-of-red (I'm not sure but I think this was everyone that asked besides two people it would not allow me to tag. If you would like added, please send me a message so I can keep track of everyone better!)

IT'S HAPPENING LADIES!

I woke up, the natural light from the sun too bright for my heavy eyelids. I tried to stretch but a muscular arm lay over me, absentmindedly pulling me closer. I didn't need to roll over to know it was Jensen. Images from last night flooding my mind.

"just.want.you." I panted.

"then I'm all yours."

He hooked his fingers in the hem of my lace panties, pulling them teasingly slow down my legs. He peppered kisses all over my stomach and thighs.

It felt like my entire body was on fire.

I groaned needing him badly.

He took a finger gently running it over where I needed most. He was gentle as he inserted two fingers inside me. I whimpered at the new sensation, bringing my hips up only for him to pin them back down again.

"lay still angel." he whispered.

"Fuck Jensen" I whimpered trying my best to stay still.

I've been in this situation before, but when Jensen did it, it was like I was experiencing it for the first time all over again. I knew I wouldn't last long if he kept touching me, and I wanted to experience him, all of him.

"Jensen Please." I whined needy.

He stood straight up, undoing his pants and sliding them down his thighs. I was nervous looking at him through his boxer briefs. He was a large man, so it made logical sense that he'd be large down there too. He went to grab the hem of his boxers to pull down before I stood up sauntering over to him.

"let me." I whispered biting my lip.

Jensen looked at me with lust filled eyes, nodding his head slowly. I tried to calm my nervous hands as I grabbed his boxers slowly pulling them down, as teasingly slow as he had done to me previously. I felt my eyes grow wider once I saw just how large he was. I wasn't the most experienced but I wanted to try to make him feel good. I hesitantly wrapped my hand around him causing a groan of pleasure to escape from his lips. He quickly grabbed my hand pulling me up before pushing me back on the bed.

"plenty of time for that later, this is about you, are you ready?"

I bit my lip. I was about to officially lose my virginity.

"yes." I said without hesitation.

this was exactly what I wanted.

I watched as Jensen grabbed a gold foil packet tearing it open with his teeth, before rolling the condom on to himself. I couldn't help the nerves that settled in the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes feeling Jensen's body hover above mine. I winced, a tear slipping out as he thrust himself in to me.

"I'm sorry, it'll only hurt for a couple minutes." Jensen said placing a kiss to my cheek, the one that the tear was rolling down.

Jensen groaned as my body tried to adjust to his length penetrating me.

"I'm gonna move now."

He slowly moved himself out until he got to where just his tip was left inside, before slowly pushing back in. He did this a couple times before he started to quicken his pace and apply a little more pressure. I arched my back longing to feel him even closer to me. He grabbed both of my hands with one of his larger ones pinning them above my head. The other held my hip, pulling my body into his with each thrust. My head fell back against the pillow, wild gasps and cries left my lips.

"fuck you don't know what your panting is doing to me." Jensen groans.

I was too much in a state of euphoria to reply to him. He slams in to me gaining much speed now. His thrusts getting sloppier the longer we go. I felt my stomach twisting into knots.

"Jensen." I moaned trying to tell him I was approaching my high.

"let go angel." He whispered.

I instantly came undone at his words. I bit down on my lip so hard I could taste blood. A few more thrusts and Jensen let out a loud groan, his fingers that were holding my hip suddenly digging in harder as he came undone.

Holy Shit.

He pulls out of me hesitantly before collapsing beside me on the bed, his heavy breathing matching my own. He disposed of his condom before turning to face me.

"are you okay?" He asked pulling me to his hard chest.

I laid my head down listening to his racing heartbeat.

"wow, that was wow." I said biting my lip.

"well you're not a virgin anymore." He said with a deep laugh.

I picked my head up looking in his eyes. Sex was great but Jensen's aftercare right now made the experience so much better.

I noticed the sweat glistening on his neck.

I don't know where the jolt of confidence came from, but I slowly leaned over placing my lips to his neck. He groaned, his fingers finding their way to entangle in my hair.

"I think I need more practice." I whispered in between kisses.

Jensen raised his head a huge smirk playing on his lips.

"I think that can be arranged."

I didn't want to disturb his sleeping figure. I turned in his arms so I could look at him.

He looked so peaceful.

He normally had this hardened look to him, but laying here now he looked completely soft.

I took in his features. I never noticed the light freckles that peppered his cheeks, or the way his eyes naturally crinkle at the corners when he smiled or laughed. He was beautiful, in every sense of the word.

"I can feel you staring at me." He said making me jump.

He slowly opened an eye taking in my figure.

"I can't help it, you're beautiful." I said laughing a bit.

He chuckled opening both eyes and staring at me.

"Beautiful huh? I've never been called that before. Hot, Sexy, Handsome, Irresistible, yes but never beautiful." He said.

I laughed harder, pushing his arm away from me.

"so pretentious of you." I smirked.

"how are you feeling?" He asked sitting up.

How was I feeling?

I lost my virginity last night to the most beautiful man I ever met.

I went to sit up, immediately feeling the ache between my legs. I winced, nobody ever talks about the morning after.

"a little sore, but nothing I can't handle." I said sitting up quickly downplaying how sore I really was.

I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing he had fucked me raw.

"oh yeah? so you can go again huh?" He asked.

I swallowed as he came towards me.

"just think, if you say yes to this, we could be doing this all the time." He said breathing on my neck, making a shiver run down my spine.

"just like this?" I seductively whispered.

"oh even better than this angel, want me to show you?" He asked placing kisses down my jaw.

"show me" I moaned.

Jensen pushes up from the bed, going over to his dresser. He looks at me before pulling out a grey colored tie.

"give me your hands." He orders.

I bite my lip bringing my hands in front of my body. He wraps the tie around them, tying it in a tight knot. I gasp as he grabs my legs pulling me down so I was laying under him. He grabs my hands that are tied together, putting them above my hands.

"don't move them." He orders.

"yes sir." I whispered.

His eyes rolled back in pleasure at my nickname.

I guess he has a control kink.

His lips attached to my neck, making the pants start to roll from my tongue. Without warning Jensen inserted two fingers, roughly thrusting them in and out. I let my head fall back as moans fell from my lips.

"this what you wanted?" He asked, his ego growing more and more with each moan.

"yes sir." I managed to squeak out between moans.

"fuck so tight." He groans continuing to work his fingers.

He reached in to his drawer grabbing another foil packet.

"JENSEN?" a voice called from a distance.

"fuck." Jensen said pulling his fingers out of me and undoing the tie from around my hands.

I instantly missed the feeling.

"I was supposed to meet Jared for breakfast this morning." He said grabbing his boxers pulling them on.

He grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants sliding them over his legs.

"Jared as in Padalecki?" I questioned, even though I already knew the answer.

"yeah, here put this on." He said throwing me one of his shirts.

I quickly threw it on over my body. I grabbed my lace panties and jeans pulling them up quickly to cover myself.

Jensen retreated out of the room. I didn't know if he wanted me to follow him. I reluctantly did, keeping my distance a bit.

"there you are, where the hell were you?" Jared asked pulling Jensen into a "bro hug"

I shyly came down the stairs, meeting eyes with the very tall man. Jensen was tall, Jared was on a whole other level. His long hair framed his face.

"I was uh a little caught up." Jensen smirked.

"I see that." Jared said nodding his head at me.

Jared gave me a small smile before leaning in to whisper to Jensen. He wasn't very good a whispering though, considering I heard everything.

"another one? really? this one looks naive, don't ruin her J." Jared whispered.

I could feel my heart drop. I was so consumed in Jensen, that I neglected to think, I was just another body to him. He made me feel special, but he probably made all the girls feel that way.

What was I getting myself into?

"I'm Jared." He said extending his large hand for me to shake.

"(y/n)" I muttered quietly shaking his hand.

Jared offered me a big smile. He seems like he's a sincere person.

"I just uh came to make sure you were alive, and to remind you that Gen and I are having a gathering later this week." Jared said.

I stood there awkwardly, my mind consumed with racing thoughts.

"you should come too." Jared spoke up looking at me.

"uh me?" I asked quietly.

"yeah you" He laughed.

He looked towards Jensen who nodded his head.

"alright, I should get going, you uh just do what you do." Jared said giving Jensen another hug.

Jensen returned his hug, whispering something in his ear. Jensen was much better at whispering because I didn't hear any of what he said.

"It was nice to meet you." Jared said grabbing my dainty hand, giving it a shake.

"you too." I chirped.

He smiled at Jensen one last time before heading out the door. I couldn't get Jared's words out of my head.

I was just another one.

It feels wrong now.

"lets get cleaned up and then we can talk." Jensen said grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

I watched him chug it before refilling it again and offering it to me. I hesitantly took it sipping on the cool liquid. I was quiet as he grabbed my hand pulling me to his large master bathroom. He turned on the shower, starting to discard his clothes.

"are you just going to stand there, or are you going to get undressed?" Jensen asked.

I was in a daze. I knew I should be enjoying this moment with him, but my racing thoughts just wouldn't keep quiet.

I hesitantly stripped my clothes, stepping in the steady stream of water. Jensen came in behind me, gabbing some soap and rubbing it in to my shoulders and down over my breasts. He turned me around so I was facing him now.

"you're beautiful." He said watching the water cascade down my body.

I wanted to believe him, but my brain wouldn't let me. He probably says that to all of them. What makes me different?

I grabbed the soap, rubbing it on to his toned chest and down his stomach. He brushed his finger against my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I quickly turned away from him as a single tear rolled down my cheek. I knew getting in to this, that this was just a game for Jensen, now I didn't know if I was ready to play it.

We finished washing, turning off the stream of water. He wrapped a towel around his waist, handing me one.

"I uh, should probably get home, the photo editor was fired, and now I have to edit all of this months photos." I told him drying off my body and hair.

It wasn't a lie, I did eventually have to finish them sometime today. I don't know why, but like I said this all suddenly felt so wrong.

"okay, um we'll get dressed and then I can drive you home." He said going in to his room to pick out some clothes.

I grabbed my under garments and jeans putting them back on seeing as I had no other clothes.

"here, just uh keep this shirt." Jensen said handing me a Led Zeppelin tee.

I gave him a grateful smile, following him to his garage. There were over seven cars sitting in the large building.

"are these all yours?" I questioned looking at each of the luxury cars.

"yeah, I uh like cars." He smiled.

"wow."

"pick one, and I'll take you home." He said admiring his collection.

I walked over to a bright red ferrari.

"good choice." Jensen said grabbing the keys.

I gave him a silent nod allowing him to open the door for me. I got in angling my body towards the door. It was going to be a long two and a half hours...

Jensen didn't try to make conversation, although he kept glancing my way, sensing something wasn't right. At this point we were almost two hours in to the drive. At one point I'd let my eyes drift close, the lack of sleep catching up to me. I felt Jensen pull the car over. I looked at him in concern making sure nothing was happening.

"go for a walk with me quick." He said getting out of the car.

I sighed getting out after him. We walked in silence down a dirt path before Jensen stopped, turning his body so he was standing in front of me.

"what's the matter with you? you've barely said anything to me since this morning, and you're acting like you can't wait to get away from me. are you regretting last night?" He asked staring down at me.

He seemed genuinely bothered.

"no, I'm not regretting anything." I answered truthfully.

"then what?"

"Jensen it's nothing." I said trying to turn my body away from him.

He caught my arm making me face him.

"no you don't get to do that, remember we have to be honest with each other." He murmured.

I took a deep breath looking at him.

"I know this is what you want, I just don't know if I can give you that." I hesitantly spoke.

"I'm not understanding."

"I don't know if I can be just another body for you." I said feeling emotions wash over me.

"woah hang on, you're not just another body, that isn't what this is." He defended.

"oh yeah, then what is it? Jensen I know you don't do relationships, but I don't want to be another girl that you see for awhile and then get sick of."

"you're not like the others."

"how so?"

"well for one, I've never had sex in my own bed before, two, (y/n) I've never slept beside any of them before, just you." He said grabbing my face forcing me to look at him.

I felt my mouth go bone dry.

"never?"

"never." He confirmed.

He brought his lips down kissing my forehead.

"I'm not rushing you in to a decision but I just want you to know, I really want this." He said.

"good cause I can't give you an answer right now." I whispered.

"I understand."

He grabbed my hand intertwining our fingers as we silently walked back to the car.

I could tell Jensen was used to getting his way. All he had to do was demand something and it was given to him.

He drove the rest of the way back to my apartment, keeping a tight hold on my hand, almost as if he were afraid this was the last time he was going to hold it. I can't deny that thought made my heart race.

He put the car in park, before shutting down the engine.

"I'll talk to you later." I whispered leaning in to kiss his freckled cheek.

His grip on my hand got a little tighter.

"why do I feel like this is you telling me goodbye?" He asked staring in my eyes.

"um because I'm leaving." I said trying to make a joke.

He stared and me before bringing my hand up placing a tender kiss on it.

"just promise me you'll think about it." He pleaded.

"I promise."

I got out of the car shooting him once last glance.

"Ms. (L/N)." He says with a nod.

"Jensen."

Author Note:

honestly I wouldn't care if Jensen treated me like dirt, I'd still let him screw me! remember please leave some love in the form of a heart, comment, reblog, or follow. also just one more time if you want to be added to the tag list please message me so it's easier to keep track of!

Part (V)

[steddie-my-love]

You’re Our Kid

Dads!Blackbonnet x Daughter!Reader

Cw: Angst, (light) Canon Typical Violence, Harsh self image, not being beta read

—

Izzy Hands was pissed off. Granted, Izzy Hands is always pissed about everything but today was unlike anything the crew of the revenge had seen so far.

In these past few months he had watched Blackbeard, the most feared pirate in the world change before his very eyes. He was cheerful, having people call him ed and falling for Stede Bonnet. It wasn’t right.

Pirates weren't supposed to have attachments. The only thing you could trust was that they were always plotting against each other. Always ready to stab each other in the back or the side. But now ed had a kid and the whole world was upside down.

“Izzy” you called running onto the deck to greet the man “Sorry i’m late, i was helping frenchie with making dinner and I lost track of time. Are you ready for sword practice?”

He looked you up and down with cold eyes. Despite the hours of work you were still happy, still smiling, still the thing that had turned the most feared captain on the seven seas soft.

You had to go.

“Okay kid. We’re going to start with dueling technique” he rasped, drawing his scabbard from his waist and cleaning off the blade. “You’re going to have to face down all sorts and it’s your job to find your way out of it without help.”

You nodded dutifully, listening as the grizzled man eyed you up and down like a cat eyeing a mouse.

“The key is to catch your target off guard,” he continued “never expect a fair fight and never expect backup. In this life you only have yourself to rely on.”

In a sharp movement, Izzy swung his sword, cutting your wrist as your sword spun out of your hand. You glimpsed to the side to see where it had fallen but in the second you had looked away it was already too late.

You fell to the deck, head slamming against the wood hull. The world spun as you looked up, the sun stinging your eyes as you blearily looked at the world. Any mercy that Izzy had shown before had fallen away and as you stared up at what he really was; he was a killer.

Your sword was too far away. “Ste-” you started to call, desperate for some, any kind of help but were cut off as the the sharp point of izzy’s sword began to dig into your neck.

“Oh no you don’t” Izzy sneered “you don’t get to call for their help every time you’re stuck. Do you really think that they care for you? That they see you as anything but a nuisance? You are a passing fancy, and once they get bored of you, they’ll cast you off just like everything else.”

Izzy raised his arms again, scabbard in hand. This time the blow was meant to be deadly. You raised your hands to your face, waiting for the cut of the blade.

“IZZY” a booming voice called from behind the man. Izzy turned his gaze to see Ed running at him full speed, eyes practically glowing with rage as he disarmed his first mate and tackled him to the ground.

As the men fought, you could feel stede hoist you up to your feet. “Its okay my dear, you’re safe now. We’ve got you” he said gently.

The world seemed to sway as the blonde lifted you up. Closing your eyes, you let your head fall against his chest. Everything seemed to hurt and the world was fading further and further away from you.

“My dear i need you to stay awake” Stede said, tenderly stroking your jaw until your eyes opened again. His eyes seemed wilder than you had ever seen before, usual silky timber thick with anxiety. “What did he do darling? What happened?”

You blinked your eyes blearily, your pupils moving in and out of focus. “Me n’ Izzy were training. Said i made you two soft and that I had to go. Next thing I knew I was knocked to the ground.”

Stede’s heart had never broken more than in that moment. You looked so broken, and could not seem to stop shaking beside your best efforts.

“You son of a bitch” Ed snarled, finally pinning Izzy to the ground “what the fuck did you think you were doing? You could have killed her!”

Izzy’s face hardened “I’m doing what has to be done. What you don’t have the courage to do.”

If Ed hadn’t been mad before, he was furious now. He saw your crumpled form clinging onto stede to stay up, the fear in your eyes as you watched ed’s wrath come forward in unholy waves.

“You’re lucky I didn't kill you right here, right now.” Ed spoke, voice dangerously low, his face pushing into Izzy's “If you ever so much as think about hurting my daughter I won't stop at the toes next time.”

Ed pushed himself off, signaling to two of the crew to secure the first mate. “Lock him up in the brig. Bastard needs some time to rot”

It was just as he said this that your legs finally gave out, the world fading to inky black as you faded down into oblivion in the care of two leatherbound arms.

—

The gentle rocking of the boat stirred you from your sleep, your eyes opening to the dim captain’s quarters. Gingerly, you began to raise your head up off of the couch but tendrils of white hot pain reached up your neck.

“Don’t move darling” Stede cooed, pushing your hair back out of your face. “Ed’s gone to fetch some broth and a towel for you. Just relax”

Your head swam, a million questions floating through but one seemed to break through.

“Where’s Izzy?” you asked, your voice tightening suddenly.

Stede’s brows furrowed in confusion “Well, the boys threw him in the brig but i figure Ed wants to throw him in to the bottom of the ocean”

“You should let him out. He was only trying to protect Ed, I wasn't on my mark. I’ll be ready next time.” you spoke, fingers twisting into the fine blanket draped over you.

“He tried to kill you y/n. That man is not walking free any time soon”

“He was right, Stede!” you said, voice cracking as tears began to fill your eyes.

“Right about what little sparrow?” Ed’s voice called from the door.

Silent tears began to stream down your face, the weight of izzy’s words seeming to suddenly flatten you.

“Izzy said i was a bad influence on you. That my being here softened you and that you were better off without me. That you would move on just like everyone else does” you said barely above a whisper, unable to say it any louder before the tears overtook you.

When you looked to the side you expected two sullen faces in stark agreement, but as you looked to the men they had wet eyes taking in everything you had just said.

Ed was the first to break the silence, clearing his throat as it had tightened up. “Is it okay if i touch you y/n?” he asked gently.

You nodded, unable to speak without devolving into a stream of tears. Ed picked up your legs to sit on the couch, slipping them back over him as he took his position on the couch. Stede stayed at your side on the floor, watching you.

“Izzy may have known what i wanted when i was a young man” Ed started, choosing his words carefully as he traced patterns onto your calves “but he hasn’t understood me for a long time. This ship, Stede, You- that’s all I want now.”

You nodded your head slowly “So am i-”

Ed gave out a short laugh “Are you my kid? I’d say in all ways except biologically, yes.”

“And you’re also my kid” Stede interjected, brown eyes darting between the two of you “and as long as me and ed are alive your home is right here with us.”

“Good, that’s exactly where i want to be” you said.

And as the ship sailed on, taking you to unknown places and adventures you knew that there was nothing that would tear the three of you apart.

[bunnakit]

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (you are here)

Wooyoung nearly sobbed at the intense wave of pleasure that washed over him, body writhing in the ebbing tide. His voice choked out of him, eliciting a deep and fond chuckle from above. He hated how warm San’s laugh was for how very cruel he was being. 

“Sannie please for the love of God move.” He begged, trying to kick out one of his legs only to have it pinned to the lumpy mattress, leaving Wooyoung reluctantly spread open. His cock leaked against his stomach and he couldn't help but think ‘Me too, buddy.’ 

San leaned down, pressing their lips together with lazy, lingering kisses. He was such a juxtaposition of unwavering strength and endless tenderness. He knew Choi San was one of a kind and he was so lucky to have met him that fateful rainy night. He’d never find anyone like him again. 

“Why don't you ask nicely?” San smirked against his jaw and he couldn't help but roll his eyes. 

“San if you don't fucking move I’m going to book the biggest, meanest bastard for your next fi-ah!” Breath swept into his lungs in a harsh gasp, expelled in a low and pathetic whine. It wasn't that San was the biggest he’d ever slept with - he was average, maybe above - it was that every movement was done with so much intent. He rolled his hips, gave teasing touches, and panted crude compliments all for nothing more than the satisfaction of his lover. 

It had been a night a lot like this, blowing off steam from an unsatisfying fight that San felt he won too quickly, when the revelation had struck Wooyoung. He had watched San then as he did now, the concentrated furrow of his brow, the clench of his jaw to stave off his own orgasm until he knew his lover was unequivocally satisfied. All of it came to the same conclusion Wooyoung drew in the current moment; He was unbearably in love with Choi San. 

“Why are you crying, jagi?” San’s movements stilled as he lifted his calloused palm, cupping his cheek gently.

Wooyoung blinked slowly, unaware of when the tears had begun to streak down his face but he could feel them carving tracks backwards. He kept his gaze on San, opening his mouth to speak but a cold tear dipped uncomfortably into his ear. He blinked and when he opened his eyes he welcomed a new cresting tide of tears. 

He was back here, in the almost clinical bedroom in the corner of a house that had never felt like home. His eyes burned with tears and he knew he’d been crying for much longer than the brief snippet in his dream. He stumbled to his feet and tread into the bathroom, grimacing at the image staring back at him in the mirror. His long hair was a mess, greasy and in disarray, and his eyes were nearly swollen with how puffy they were. 

Wooyoung ducked his head, splashing icy water on his face several times. He was so tired of crying, so fucking tired of it, and yet he couldn't stop. Every single morning he woke up and pressed a cold compress to his eyelids until he resembled something close to human again. He ignored that step today, turning off the sink just to turn on the shower. 

He wanted to wallow, to stay in bed all day and cry himself to sleep again, to rot in his silk sheets on his stupidly expensive mattress. He craved a lumpy mattress permeated in the smell of cologne, sweat, sex, and San. It was so tempting to fall back under the covers and shut out the world but he knew, as much as he hated it, that San would never want to see him like this. And somehow that was enough. 

Wooyoung finished his shower quickly, wrapping a towel around his waist and going through his skin care routine that had way more steps than even made sense. He finished rubbing in his moisturizer before he opened the drawer beside him. Multiple watches in a variety of styles lined the inside, save for a vacant spot in the very center. 

His heart dropped through his feet, thrashing and writhing somewhere on his heated bathroom floor. 

Where is it? 

I put it here, didn't I?

My nightstand- Not here. 

The dresser-

No, no, no, nononono- Where is it?! 

His breath came in a rapid staccato, unsustainable and painful. He didn't really care if he ever breathed again, not if he’d truly lost Sannie’s watch. He needed it, needed to feel close to him in the only way he was allowed now. 

“Where is it?” He gasped, black spots dancing at the edge of his vision just before he heard a door open in the main section of his apartment. He yanked on a pair of sweatpants left hanging over a bedpost before stumbling out into his living space. 

“Hyunsoo-ssi, have you seen my watch? The silver one with the big dial-”

“Oh, that atrocity.” He tsked and dread mixed with something else, something sticky and molten, bubbled in Wooyoung’s stomach. “I cleaned out all your old designs for this year’s collection,” He passed a judgemental eye to the sweats hanging off his hips. “Though it seems I might have missed some.” 

Again, Wooyoung didn't feel when the tears started. He could only feel the cold streaks left in their wake as his skin grew impossibly warm. His fingers curled into his palms, nails pressing indents into the soft flesh. 

“And where are they now?” He hissed through clenched teeth, eyes closed as those black dots appeared in his periphery again. He felt wound tight, a coiled spring ready to snap - or perhaps a leopard, crouched low in wait for one wrong move, one little -

“I threw them out. Don't worry, Wooyoung-ssi, this year's designs are much-” 

He hadn't made a decision to throw the salt lamp across the room. Wooyoung hadn't even been aware he was holding it until it left his fingertips, hurtling towards the wall with an impressive amount of speed. His nostrils flared as the drywall crumbled and shards of the salt block scattered around his floor. He opened his eyes, vision tinted red as his eyes locked on his father's assistant. 

Wooyoung hated himself for it, hated the way it reminded him of his childhood, but he took a sick thrill in the fear that washed over Hyunsoo’s face. Good. “Get out.” He croaked, voice hoarse with barely restrained screams. 

There was a spot on the rug in his father's office, a deep brown and an odd wobbly shape. Spilled coffee, his father had said, knocked over by one of his visiting business partners who Wooyoung could barely remember. He understood now what that stain really was. 

His mouth flooded with spit the moment Hyunsoo closed the door behind him and Wooyoung had only a moment to sprint to his kitchen sink, more grateful than ever for his open floor plan as he slid to a stop on the tile just in time to eject the contents of his stomach into the shiny silver basin. He’d barely eaten the night before, something his stomach hadn't thanked him for, but at least it was a benefit to him now as he had very little to offer up. Snot and tears spilled down the lower half of his face and he groaned, using the spray nozzle on his faucet to rinse both the sink and his face. 

Wooyoung slammed the tap to shut it off before sliding down to the floor, back pressed against the uncomfortable grooves of the cabinet behind him and knees tucked to his chest. He tucked his forehead against them, the moisture dripping from his hair soaking the knee of his sweats. One hand lifted, rubbing a slow circle over the left side of his chest. 

His last connection to San, gone with something as simple as a careless - or perhaps malicious - act of service. The hickeys had long faded from his sternum, the scent of San’s cologne no longer clung to the clothes he'd worn that night. The watch had been all he had left to prove that he had been lucky enough to have been known - been loved - by Choi San. 

Wooyoung felt the rhythmic thumping against his fingers, an undeniable sign that blood still pumped through his veins. His heart was there, it was still there, so why did his chest feel so hollow? He wanted to thrash, to wail, to make sure the world could hear the pain that scraped his insides raw. Instead, he cried silently, vacant gaze locked on the mangled hole in the wall, lamp cord dangling down to the floor. 

Crying had never gotten him anything but a scolding so he had learned a long time ago to keep silent. 

When Wooyoung looked at himself in the mirror again the next morning another grimace spread over his face but this time accompanied by a nauseating twist in his gut. He lifted his hand to brush through his hair, twisting his fingers around the too-short strands and tugging until he felt a light sting at his scalp. It looked as wrong as he felt but he had an image to maintain now - Father’s perfect puppet. 

The image nearly made him sick, not from an attractiveness standpoint, but rather he missed who he was before. He missed San carding his fingers through his hair as he sang to him softly, half drunk but full of love. He missed San gripping with his fingers close to Wooyoung’s scalp, tilting his head back to press open-mouthed kisses against his neck. He missed San rolling over onto his hair in the middle of the night, coaxing him back to sleep with hushed apologies. 

He had hoped it would feel cleansing but instead it felt like a final goodbye to the man he could have had and the man he could have become.

[tiny-maus-boots]

Darkest of Nights pt 22

A/N: thank you thank you thank you @chloes-yellow-cup and @kimmania None of this would still be happening if not for your encouragement and support. I love you awesome nerds.

Chloe

She had wanted to drag Beca off to their room for a little more alone time but knew the second she shut the door that she would also shut out anything else and just drown herself in everything Beca Mitchell. And that wasn't an option right now. So she settled for pressing the other woman against the wall of the elevator for a hungry kiss as soon as the doors closed.

Beca’s hands came up and slid under the hem of her shirt. Power trailed like electricity everywhere the necromancer's fingers caressed against her bare skin. She could never get enough of the feel of Beca in her arms or the taste of her on her lips. She could devour and be devoured in an endless cycle and need nothing else.

And just that thought gave her pause. Without Aubrey there to temper their desire she might forget herself and make a mistake. Beca’s leg rose to hook around her waist, drawing her in closer before she could start to pull away. A low possessive growl trickled out and she reached back to grip the necromancer’s wrists and pin them above her head. Fangs lengthened and she grazed them lightly over Beca’s lip teasingly as she pulled back.

“So we’re going back to bed right?”

“Sadly no, we have work to do, remember? You’ll have to let me ravage you later.”

“Work?”

Chloe grinned and gently extricated herself from Beca’s leg and let her down before stepping back to tug her clothes into place. 

“Yes. We have guests arriving soon.”

Beca frowned adorably as she searched her memory. “Oh. Right. Guests. Do we know who they are yet?”

“Yep, c’mon. I’ll show you.” 

The vampire held out a hand and was pleased when Beca took it immediately. The doors slid open with a soft voiced ‘Security Level One’ as an indicator. They stepped out but Beca paused and gave the elevator a thoughtful look.

“Manners matter. Thanks, Elevator.”

Aubrey would be so proud. Chloe chuckled and guided them right into the heart of the security terminal. It was only the first of many and the smallest by far. It was only really meant as a monitoring station for the perimeter of the innocent seeming parking structure above it. At least it had been when she’d last been there, they’d made improvements since.

The few vampires that were sitting in front of large screens barely averted their gazes from them to note their presence. The redhead stopped in front of a station and pulled up the images she and Aubrey had captured earlier. Several windows popped open and Beca eased onto a stool and leaned forward to inspect them.

“What am I looking at?”

“Our security team pulled footage from public transit stations that lead directly toward the heart of the city. Conveniently just above our heads give or take a few city blocks. Look here, see the way these images here blur?”

“Fae.” 

Chloe nodded and pointed to another window. The blurring was all any electronic equipment could make of strong glamor magic. To the naked eye the Fae could appear as anyone or no one at all.

“So what though? You know how many Fae folk are running around out there? You’re bound to catch a few right?”

“True. But these are just the feeds from the past day, from every station. There have never been that many this deep in the city. Too much iron and pollution, they usually stick to colonies in forests, parks if they absolutely must be in the city. And not just them. Red eyes here. Here. Aaand here. Not that we needed to see their eyes to identify them. We’ve kept track of the Alphas of most of the wolf clans.”

“So what are you saying? Wolves and Fae are converging on us?”

“Pretty sure they aren't the only ones. These are just the ones taking public transit, the ones we can see. What about people coming in their own vehicles in caravans? I wouldn’t be surprised if the Great Clans were assembling again.”

“And they’re headed here?”

Chloe clicked to open another window that showed traffic cam footage of Beca’s own long abandoned truck leading a caravan of vans, wagons, and trailers. “Oh shit, that’s my rig.”

“Not just yours. It looks like your whole carnival is leading the charge. My guess is to rescue their princess from the evil demons that stole her in the dark of night.”

It was hard to miss the irritation in Chloe’s voice and Beca gave her a long slow blink.

“Okay but you DID kidnap me in the dark of night.”

“Yeah but you like it now.”

Beca’s mouth opened slightly as she processed how she should respond to that.

“To be clear, we don’t just kidnap people and justify it with crazy hot sex after they’ve fallen in love with you and taken up your rebellious cause. Honestly, the more I talk the more I feel like I’m in a Lifetime movie adaptation of the Patty Hearst story.”

Chloe acknowledged that with a nonchalant half shrug. They were meant to be, she didn’t question that. Of course she hadn’t known they were meant to be when she’d kidnapped Beca.

Okay maybe she could see where that was a little creepy. 

“Anyway. It's not like you want to go back with them. Right?”

Beca frowned at the screens again before turning to meet Chloe’s questioning gaze.

“You mean leave you and Aubrey?” She snorted at that and shook her head. “No, I'm already frighteningly comfortable in your giant bed with your fancy sheets and high pressure shower. Plus you guys have boobs. So yeah I'm good where I'm at.”

“So…then you're not going to run back to a lover?”

She wasn't usually this insecure. But Beca's old life and her new one were about to collide in a potentially messy affair. Messy in the bloody sense because she was feeling more than a little possessive. 

“Wait, are you actually jealous right now?”

“Beca, I've spent more years as second best to the memory of a dead man than I care to admit. I don't think my heart can take being second to anyone else.”

It was heartbreaking to finally say out loud. It wasn’t as if she had been celibate all that time but relationships… 

Her heart was already Aubrey’s to command. There was no room in it for anyone else. And truthfully her vow to the Bloodguard forbade anything else. 

Chloe averted her attention from Beca’s searching gaze. The weight of it was almost too much to bear. She changed the subject before Beca could respond, hoping that the necromancer would let sleeping dogs lie.

“So what did you think of Athan?”

Beca opened her mouth then closed it and shook her head slowly. Whatever she had been about to say she decided better of it and shrugged.

“He's old as hell. And strong. I could feel it but it wasn't like most vampires. You guys bleed power all over on purpose even. It's your flex. Him…it was like he was sucking it all in.”

Chloe nodded at that and fiddled with a pen on the desk. The Council had wronged many people, not just Aubrey. 

“He has to keep tight control of himself or his mind and body will completely deteriorate.”

A few of the vampires shifted uncomfortably in their seats. She didn't blame them, Athan's curse was horrific. Beca glanced around and the vampires quickly looked away.

“So what's his deal?”

Chloe hesitated and cast a glance at the other vampires. They all seemed very intent on their screens but she knew they were listening to every word.

“Athan made an enemy of the Council by choosing to live among wolves. Even going so far as to protect them from other vampires. They thought it was improper, nearly as scandalous as a vampire running off with a necromancer.”

Beca snorted at that and settled into Chloe's lap comfortably. The vampire’s arms slid around the smaller woman's waist comfortably and she smiled when the necromancer sighed happily at the contact. 

“You know for soulless immoral demons vampires sure are all about the kink shaming.”

“Hm, you're not entirely wrong. The Council will use anything against you to control you and break your spirit. Your fears, your desires, and all that you hold dear.”

“Which did they use on Athan?”

Chloe's shoulders sagged, her voice went soft with pity. “All of them. They used a necromancer to curse him then slaughtered her to prevent the curse from ever being removed. And his wolves…his family…enslaved and given to Hauer.”

“I hate him already. Who the fuck is Hauer and what the fuck did he do to those wolves?”

“Our enemy. What he does to them is…it's awful Beca. He tortures them into shifting and binds them with silver bits and collars. The pain, being constantly shifted, it drives them insane. They are vicious, feral beasts and he uses his kampfhunds to do unspeakable evil.”

Beca remained silent, her face was impassive but she could feel the roiling turmoil brewing under the faćade. 

“He's the guy. Right? The one behind everything?”

“I suspect, yes. What he did to Aubrey, to Athan, and so many others, must be answered for.”

Anger flared through their connection causing them both to gasp and turn toward the door just as Aubrey pushed through it. The blonde scanned the room briefly before making her way toward them at a purposeful clip.

“Uh oh someone pissed off our girl.”

Chloe smiled at the sing song statement and nodded in agreement. She loved hearing Beca claim them as her own. It helped ease the thread of uncertainty over her place in their lives. An uncertainty that melted away under the soft brush of Aubrey’s lips against her own. 

The unexpected gentle affection robbed her of rational thought for a moment and she whimpered softly when Aubrey pulled away. Beca fanned herself with a hand and nodded.

“Yep that gets the heartbeat up. Okay now me.” She didn't wait for Aubrey to turn and lean in. Beca grabbed the front of the vampire’s jacket and pulled her in for a deep kiss. “That's the stuff. So what's up Horny? Who got you mad?”

“Some of our people are reluctant to face the clans.”

Beca frowned and glanced between the two vampires. “Huh, I thought I had made progress. Got Athan's approval and everything.”

Chloe winced at that. She loved the people here but they were sometimes stuck in their ways. 

“That is the root of their reluctance. Athan has grown weaker, they question his sanity in the face of his condition.”

“That is ridiculous, Athan has been with us from the beginning. There is nothing wrong with his mind!”

Aubrey gave Chloe a quietly assessing look as if she too doubted his sanity, then nodded. 

“If his mind is yet whole, they must fear the ravages of his curse on his body. They are afraid of what the Council will do to them for siding with the Great Clans and a necromancer. His state is a very handy reminder for them.” 

Beca shifted uncomfortably and Aubrey’s direct gaze landed on her. The necromancer bit her lip as she pondered something well beyond Chloe’s understanding.

“So all this working hinges on Athan being healed of a curse no one can lift? Like if he was good they would be good?”

It only took Chloe a moment to see past the questions to understand what Beca intended. 

“Beca it's impossible. So many have tried over the years, the strongest witches I have ever known, good or bad, have never been able to break this curse. You can't uncurse what he has.”

Beca crossed her arms over her chest and stared Chloe down until the redhead blew out a breath and nodded.

“Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you.”

“I'm not sure how to do it yet but I know I can help him, Chlo. You just have to believe in me.”

There were only two people she believed in with her whole heart and they were both here with her now. Chloe didn't hesitate in her response because there was no doubt in her mind that Beca could do anything she set her mind to.

“Okay. How do we do it?”

Aubrey stated the obvious that seemed to elude Chloe. “She's already done it once. But it will require more power than the three of us alone can generate.”

“That's a big ask Beca.” 

Chloe would have liked to believe they would all agree but she knew that was more wishful thinking than actual reality.

“I will make them submit.”

Beca started at that and shook her head rapidly. 

“No. We don't just take. You can't hope to lead the new gathering of clans like that. Last time was an emergency, this time they should have a say. If they truly believe in Athan and care about him and this fight more than themselves they'll agree to it.”

Chloe watched Aubrey struggle to accept the decision before she nodded her agreement. She didn't like it but she was trying to change and it showed. Beca relaxed and reached out to tangle fingers with Aubrey. 

“Thank you.”

Aubrey brought the necromancer's hand to her lips and kissed the scarred knuckles.

“We will lead this newly unified Great Clan. The three of us together.”

Chloe blinked and looked up at them. “Wait. Who we? Us we? No I don't think…” 

“Chlo, look at what you built. This place? Bringing these people together? Why not we? We believe in you as much as you believe in us. More. You're our heart, me and Aubrey are just following your beat.”

“Beca is right. You make me better, Chloe. You always have. And we can make a new way, one where you are at my side the way it should have always been.” 

At their side. Where she belonged. Who could say no to that?

[shu-box-puns]

You wanna be one of them (Tsu'tey x Reader) Part 8

Previous Chapter <- Act 8 -> Next Chapter

If you prefer to read on Ao3, you can find the fic here!

Word Count: 8930

Summary: Reunions and Norm just trying his best :)

Reader uses they/them pronouns.

<”Tsu’tey, you’re being ridiculous.”>

In contrast, Tsu’tey strongly believed that he was not in fact being ridiculous, and chose to say nothing. His mate was a comfortably weight in his arms, their relentless wiggling more endearing than bothersome. He welcomed it in fact, after the stressful night he’d spent tracking them across the rainforest. 

His mate did not share the sentiment. They scowled up at his blank expression, apparently choosing their next words carefully. <”Let me down.”> They told him, rather seriously, pulling away from him in an attempt to make eye contact. Tsu’tey refused to meet their gaze, knowing he would lose immediately if he did.

<”Tsu’tey!”> His ear flicked at their tone, but he kept his composure. They groaned. Muttering something about him being stubborn before they scrambled for another argument. <”The palulukan fucked off hours ago! It’s safe now.”>

<”The forest is never safe.”> Tsu’tey neatly countered, and kept walking. 

They huffed. <”My legs are getting stiff.”>

<”You will complain they hurt within the hour.”>

<”That is not the point!”>

Tsu’tey found himself smiling despite himself. He knew from their tone that they weren’t actually mad, a tell he’d been forced to learn or suffer through endless misunderstandings.

<”We move faster like this.”>  He informed them truthfully, as he neatly leapt over a fallen log, which was just tall enough in diameter, that if his mate had been walking, than he would have to to wait several minutes for them to clamber onto it and then even longer for them to find a safe spot on the other side to slide off. The mental image caused him to snort. 

The human in his arms, groaned and threw their head back, the annoying exo mask strapped over their attractive features glinting in the dappled sunlight. Tsu’tey glanced down at them, finding their languid sprawl over his arm ridiculously adorable. 

Their head rolled towards him, and their eyes pinned him into place as they tried once more to persuade him. <”Surely your arms have to be cramping from holding me for so long.”> 

Tsu’tey scoffed in mock offence. As if he would be so weak. He would happily carry them around for the rest of his life if they allowed him to; human or avatar. Not that he would tell them that.

<”I fear I will lose you in the undergrowth if I let you down.”> He countered mockingly, to which they promptly sat upright in his arms. 

<”I’m not that small!”>

He didn’t respond, and turned his head away. His knowing smirk was answer enough. 

They scowled at him, pushing at his cheek but failing miserably to actually push him away. Tsu’tey laughed, feeling lighter than he had in weeks. Finally, the tension in him had broken. 

Forgetting himself, he paused in his purposeful strides to pull them further up his torso, so he could knock his forehead against theirs, only to be immediately disappointed by the dull tap of glass to his cool skin. He kept the pressure regardless, wishing their naturally warmer skin was pressing into his, sharing their warmth, instead of the glass stealing what little body heat he generated. The largely na’vi gesture was not lost on them judging by the warmth that flooded into their cheeks. To Tsu’tey’s amusement, they pouted but allowed the affection with a looseness to their body, which Tsu’tey thought would translate to a lazy tail wag or soft purring if they were driving their avatar. Although in truth, he wasn’t entirely sure. The Sky People emoted vastly differently to the na’vi afterall, what with their lack of movable ears.

<”Fine.”> They grumbled quietly, when Tsu’tey started to purr again. <”You win.”> 

Tsu’tey grinned despite himself, and gave his mate an appreciative nuzzle for relenting. They scowled back, but Tsu’tey knew it was just because they wanted to be difficult.

The rest of the day continued like that, with the pair of them exchanging light banter and playful jabs as the day wore on. 

The sun had reached its midday peak when Tsu’tey heard the first yips of ikran riders soaring over the canopy. He was immediately on alert, his snarky response momentarily forgotten as he scrambled to find the source of the yips. Calling back loudly, his voice carried effortlessly through the trees. His mate hissed against his chest as he stepped from the dappled sunlight of the shade into the strong light of midday, but Tsu’tey was more concerned with being noticed and hopefully hitching a ride back to the clan.

Mighty wingbeats circled overhead. And through the trees, Tsu’tey caught sight of not an ikran, but a toruk. Tsu’tey felt his muscles pull tight, preparing to throw himself deep into the undergrowth to avoid discovery, until he noticed that the mighty animal carried riders. This was no wild toruk. It carried three na’vi aboard its colossal back, two of which clung to the one in front who urged the beast of legend to elegantly bank and start to descend with graceful wingbeats. There was only one na’vi alive stupid enough to have tamed such a creature.

<”Is that a toruk?”> His mate breathed, staring wide eyed up at the enormous, orange reptile. <”I thought it moved on.”> That’s what Jake had said anyway, that he had sent the animal away now that it was no longer needed.

<”It’s Jake’s toruk.”> 

<”Shit. What do you think brought it back?”>

<”I have no idea.”> 

Another yip sounded from toruk’s back, to which Tsu’tey responded sceptically. The rider sitting behind the first visibly pointed, to which the animal promptly altered its course. With surprising efficiency, it managed to slot itself between the arching branches of some trees before attaching itself to a sturdy looking trunk that barely creaked under its weight. 

Immediately, the rider in front was sliding down toruk’s back, and then down its wing which it extended to the floor for an easy dismount. The second rider followed suit, whilst the last clung desperately to Toruk’s spines, decked out in RDA issued shorts and matching jacket. 

“Where the hell have you two been?” Jake yelled out, the moment his feet touched the ground, Neytiri at his back. Within seconds of regaining his balance, he was jogging to meet them, ears pricked and his tail thrashing with nerves.

“Are the People safe?” Tsu’tey demanded instead of answering the question. “Why did you summon Toruk?”

“They’re fine. Mo’at has everything under control. As for toruk, he came when I called.” Jake replied simply, as if that settled everything. “I explained the situation and he was more than happy to help, but that's not important right now. Where the hell DID YOU GO, TSU’TEY!”

His voice kicked up severely in volume as he approached the Olo’eyktan, a wild look in his eye as he took in the fresh bruises and wounds dotted across his skin. Those weirdly small demon eyes dipped to the human in Tsu’tey’s arms, his bared teeth slackening a fraction as they waved sheepishly up at him. 

“And you!” Jake immediately started, jabbing a finger at them, “you are never going ANYWHERE on your own again! Do you understand me?” 

Within seconds, he had closed the distance and practically wrestled the human out of Tsu’tey’s grasp. For once, Tsu’tey was so stunned by the protective fire in Jake’s eyes to put up much of a fight. Which left him standing stupidly to the side as Jake held his mate several feet off the ground by their armpits. “You scared me half to death!”

The human glared back at him. “I am fully grown-”

“YOU SCARED ME!” Jake repeated with a sharp shake, which caused them to yelp and grab at his arms. “I asked you to get water, not go on a fucking vacation! Where the hell have you been?”

“There were marines by the river.” His mate growled, “they overpowered me-”

“So why didn’t you scream for help?!”

“You wouldn’t have heard me with how comfortable you were all snuggled up in your bunk.” 

Jake snarled at them, ears pinning back. His mate levelled him with a look Grace would have been proud of.  

"Oh cut it out. I didn't bloody ask them to abduct me." 

Jake chuckled darkly. "Oh I bet you goaded them into it. Probably knew there was no other way of finding their camp now that you knew they existed separately from Hell’s Gate." Jake fired back. “You crafty, brilliant bastard.”

"You give me more credit than I deserve." His mate deflected, but Jake’s attention had already slid off of them and returned to Tsu’tey. He lowered them to their feet before stepping around them to start yelling at Tsu’tey as well. 

“And you!” Toruk Makto boomed, shoving Tsu’tey hard. He stumbled, too shocked to bite back. Over Jake’s shoulder, Tsu’tey watched Neytiri struggle to smother her amused look.

“You didn’t even give me a chance to link up. Just DISAPPEARED without a word! Mo’at was getting ready to make me Olo’eyktan! ME!” He jabbed a finger into Tsu’tey’s chest, his expression suggesting that the idea was simply preposterous. As if he hadn’t successfully led the People to war and then back again a few short weeks ago. “And when the fuck did you name me as your bloody successor? Surely you misspoke!”

“After my injury.” Tsu’tey grit out, ears flat. “I would trust no one else to protect the People.”

“Neytiri would have been a better leader than I ever could!” Jake snarled, his tail whipping too and fro so aggressively that the human standing beside him had to move away to avoid losing an eye.

“Neytiri is set to become Tsahik after her mother. I could not name her as my successor too.”

“Jake.” Neytiri cut in, giving her mate a hard look. “Breathe.”

“I am breathing.” Jake insisted before launching straight into another interrogating question. “And where the hell is your pa’li? No wonder you’ve been gone so bloody long!”

“It is impossible to track whilst riding, you know this.”

Jake let out an infuriated sound, turning away to grab at his hair. He tipped his head back as if looking to some higher power for strength. The dramatic action was lost on Tsu’tey, as his attention was drawn away by Norm finally sliding off of toruk’s back with a pained ‘oof’. 

Tsu’tey’s mate was the first to speak up. “You called NORM!?” 

To his credit, the avatar driver did not look offended as he dusted off his cargo shorts and jogged over to the group, various instruments and scientific devices swinging from his large backpack.

“You called Norm.” They repeated, in disbelief. “NORM? Really Jake? What the hell was Norm going to do? Recite every known property of carnivorous flora at the bloody enemy? Throw a test tube at the fucking marines and pray the glass got in someone’s eye?”

“I panicked!” Jake argued, looking rather comical, as he bent to yell down at his friend who had their hands planted firmly on their hips. “Norm knows how to keep a level head, and lord knows we needed some of that with Tsu’tey going rogue without telling anyone where he was going!”

“I thought what I did was right.” Tsu’tey defended to which Jake threw up a hand at him with his middle finger pointing to the heavens. Although Tsu’tey had not grown up with such a gesture, he knew from the pure annoyance plaguing Jake’s features that it was meant to offend him.

“He’s got one of Grace’s scanners.” His mate cut in, “the ones Grace used to measure the electromagnetic connections between the trees. That thing can’t even pick up thermal signatures from point blank range.” As Jake scrambled to find a decent response, they lifted their attention to Norm, who was twiddling his thumbs and looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Did you just grab that out of panic, and realise too late that it would be useless?”

Norm thinned his lips, deciding to avert his gaze instead of answer, his tail diving between his legs as he was stared down by his much smaller colleague. “Norm.” They repeated, stern as Mo’at scolding one of her apprentices.

The avatar driver let out a long, defeated sigh. “It calmed Jake down when he thought I was being useful.”

Jake let out an offended scoff. “How dare you use my lack of technological knowledge to your advantage.” Behind his back, Neytiri was looking at Norm in a new light, looking mildly impressed.

“Well,” Norm exhaled, “I wasn’t willing to sit through 48 plus hours of your anxious nattering, without something to give you hope. I wouldn’t survive the headache.”

The pair promptly dissolved into bickering. With Jake accusing Norm of thinking he was stupid, to which Norm easily agreed, which in turn hurtled them off course and into an entirely new argument. 

Peeved by her mate’s behaviour, Neytiri, who had been a quiet bystander until now, weaved around the pair and approached on unsure feet.

<“What happened?”> She asked simply, in that calm but authoritative tone of her’s. The one that nostalgically reminded Tsu’tey of Eytukan.  

<”Sky People kidnapped them.”> He explained simply, suddenly aching to scoop them back up. He knew they were perfectly safe now with even more na’vi hunters watching out for them, even Norm would make a decent distraction if something suddenly found them, but he still felt raw. <”There was a camp beyond our territory.”>

<”Did you leave survivors?”>

<”Not one.”> 

<”That is good.”> Neytiri said, which was as close to praise as she got. <”Norm-Spellman informed us of a few warrior groups that never returned to Hell’s Gate. He said they were assumed dead, but there have been whispers of human camps appearing in neighbouring clan territories.”>

<”Why was I not informed of this?”>

<”They have been successful in rounding them up alone. They did not want to spread unease among our people.”>

Whilst Tsu’tey did not like the idea of being excluded from something so crucial, from a leadership perspective, he could somewhat understand the motive of the scientists. If only a little. 

An ikran shrill distracted him from responding. 

Perched upon its tree. Toruk lifted its head and answered, the timbre of its low call sending vibrations through the forest. The ikran chirped in reply, before a large blue blob shot through the canopy, headed straight for the clearing. 

Tsu’tey recognised his spirit brother as one would recognise their own reflection. 

The ikran wasted no time in finding him amongst the group and unsettling the dirt as he dropped down at Tsu’tey’s back. The hunter grinned, reaching up to greet the beast who ducked his head eagerly in greeting. He had little care for the others in the circle, and beat his wings in joy at having finally found Tsu’tey.

Neytiri watched the interaction with a bitter note in her eye, before turning to the rest of the group and raising her voice above Jake and Norm’s bickering. “We should head back.”

“Yes. Lets.” Jake immediately agreed, giving Norm a firm shove and Tsu’tey’s mate a sharp glare. They flipped him off in return. The marine pretended not to notice, and shoulder checked Tsu’tey on his way back to toruk, to which Tsu’tey reciprocated hard enough to almost shove the man off his feet. Neytiri tutted at her mate’s behaviour, but made no comment as she followed.

“Norm.” Tsu’tey’s mate acknowledged.

“Doctor.” The avatar returned politely. “Glad to see you in one piece.” 

The pair shared an odd kind of staring contest which Tsu’tey couldn’t decipher, before Norm inclined his head and retreated towards toruk.

Tsu’tey’s ikran headbutted his arm. Turning, the hunter smiled as his mount offered his neural whip. Pulling his kuru over his shoulder, Tsu’tey linked up and was immediately met with a wall of concern and pride. He ran a soothing hand down his ikran’s snout, smiling faintly. 

<”Ready to go?”> He asked his mate, who was watching the interaction from a safe distance. They smiled tightly, their eyes tracking the excited wiggling of Tsu’tey’s ikran as they approached. 

<”Yes. Let’s go home.”>

>_<

You were expecting to be dropped off with Norm at the compound. 

You assumed that you’d spend your evening alone. Taking off your sweaty exomask and tumbling straight into your bunk without even bothering to pull back the covers. Mentally, you had prepared yourself for dirty sheets in the morning, and an earful from Jake when he eventually unlinked, for going to bed without eating or pulling out a first aid kit for your wounds.

Instead, Tsu’tey didn’t even slow his ikran’s wingbeats as the compound slid past between the trees and disappeared from view.

<”Um, the compound is that way.”> You pointed out helpfully, leaning to the side in the saddle so you could see where toruk was circling low to allow Norm to dismount. 

<”I know.”> Tsu’tey replied simply, his arm around your stomach tightening to keep you firmly against him. His eyes did not stray from the distant arching rocks of the Well of Souls. <”Jake will catch up with us shortly.”>

<"Shouldn't you be dropping me off there too?">

<”No.”> He replied simply, with enough surety that you paused to question yourself. 

<”You can’t seriously be thinking that taking me to the clan is a good idea.”>

<”It’s the perfect plan.”> Tsu’tey argued. 

<”Maybe.”> You half agreed, <”if I were in my avatar or the clan was even slightly less traumatised by the Sky People.”>

<”It will be fine.”>

<”It really won’t.”> You pressed. <”Even you tried to kill me the first time you saw me like this, and we were friends. What are you expecting the hunters to do? Open their arms and embrace me with grins and wagging tails.”>

<”You’re being dramatic.”>

<”I’m being practical!”> 

<”Just-”> Tsu’tey cut himself off, and inhaled deeply. He gave you a quick squeeze, as if to reassure himself you were still there. <”Just, trust me? Please? I won’t let anything happen to you.”>

<”That’s what I’m concerned about.”> You grumbled under your breath, but allowed the conversation to drop. And then louder added, <”fine. If you insisted. But I expect a decent head start if they start notching arrows on sight.”>

Tsu’tey did not laugh. <”It won’t come to that.”> Tsu’tey assured you. You were too tired to tell him that it very well might.

>_<

The din of clan life could be heard before the Well of Souls even came into view. 

The sight was almost similar to the view you would get on the back of your ikran when returning to HomeTree after a day of hunting. Far below, the clan moved with the organised chaos of a bee hive around The Tree of Souls. The camp was alive with activity, with hunters stationed on the cliffs as guards, whereas the rest of the clan busied themselves by carrying baskets whilst others cooked or tended to weapons. Children weaved between the adults, shrieking and playing as they always had.

It was reassuring to see that everyone was okay. 

It didn’t take long for Tsu’tey’s ikran to be recognised, and even shorter of a time for toruk to be spotted following its descent for the cliffs. Yips of greeting echoed from the bowl of the Well of Souls as many of the clan members paused in their tasks to point and wave.

Tsu’tey’s grasp on you tightened securely as he manoeuvred his mount onto landing on his usual perch, a neat shelf of rock that overlooked the well below. The ikran chirped as it touched down, lowering its front for Tsu’tey to dismount, and then down further to make it easier for your small legs to slide off. You smiled, patting his neck as you followed Tsu’tey’s lead. 

A little ways over, toruk had also landed, with Neytiri having already leapt off and begun her rapid descent down the cliff face, whilst Jake took the time to thank toruk and offer the enormous beast a few pats down its muzzle.

<”Are you ready?”> Tsu’tey prompted, pulling your attention away from your friends and up to him. He stood proudly upon the lip of the cliff, half turned back to you with the sun back lighting him. The vision of authority and certainty. 

You cast an uncertain glance over the cliff edge, down to the faces that had become familiar to you. Anxiety squirmed uncomfortably in your stomach, but deep down you knew you were safe here. Even if the clan were to react badly, you trusted Tsu’tey to get you out in one piece.

<”Let's get this over with.”> You agreed, <”I’m exhausted.”> 

Tsu’tey smiled tightly, but took no time in gathering you up in one arm and beginning his swift descent down into the bowl of Souls. You clung diligently to him, watching the clan naturally migrate towards where their Olo’eyktan would predictably land. 

Neytiri had already hit the ground and wove through the crowd to meet you. Na’vi you didn’t know the names of greeted her politely, offering soft questions that Neytiri either waved off or gave swift responses. Her expression was pinched but attempting at being encouraging as Tsu’tey landed neatly on his feet before crouching to set you down beside him. 

<”It is going to be alright.”> Tsu’tey promised with something fierce glinting in his eye. 

At his back, the clan had gone uncomfortably quiet. A thrum of unease had gone through the members the moment human feet had touched the glowing moss encompassing Eywa’s throne for the first time. Against your will, your nervous swallow was loud to your own ears. Over Tsu’tey’s shoulder, you could see the confused glances the People were shooting one another. A couple hands had lowered to knife hilts, whilst some of the younger, more skittish hunters had taken uncertain steps back.

You knew how you must look to them. Small and dirty and bruised. Weak compared to the collective threat of humanity in which they had lost so much to. You felt vulnerable like this. No longer on equal footing with the People who had become your friends. Hell, you didn’t have a thread of Omaticayan jewellery on you, let alone your bow. To those who would not see your avatar in your face, you were just another demon.

You shouldn’t be here. Not like this. Not in such a sacred place.

The clan remained motionless. Waiting for Tsu’tey to make his intentions clear.

<”Wait here.”> He told you, and then straightened.

He had barely taken a step forward, his mouth opening to offer reassurance or a greeting worthy of an Olo’eyktan, before the clan surged forward to greet him. Women who had watched him grow up immediately started worrying over his injuries, whilst one or two tutted at the state of his braids. Na’vi men offered clipped greetings and firm pats on the back, glancing uncertainty at you over Tsu’tey’s shoulder but choosing not to comment. Tsu’tey took the attention in his stride, reassuring anyone who asked that he was okay and that Jake had been ultimately useless at finding him. 

Between the legs of a couple of parents, you noticed the curious faces of three children peering at you. If you were to stand shoulder to shoulder with the oldest, she could’ve easily towered over you, and yet she hid. Tucking her younger brothers close to her side, whilst she stole quick glances at you, as if you would lash out if she accidentally met your eyes. 

The youngest was clearly intrigued by you, whining to his sister about her insistent grip on his bicep to keep him from emerging from the crowd to look you over. He grumbled audibly, his little tail smacking into her thigh, but she refused to relent. Her lips drawn into a thin line as she firmly shook her head.

<”Where is Mo’at?”> You heard Tsu’tey ask over the clamour of many voices. To which you saw someone near the rear of the crowd break off at a hard run for the sleeping area.

Someone stepped purposefully between you and the cowering children. And you knew it was purposeful from the way the long, blue limb had stepped down and then remained, the foot facing towards you instead of Tsu’tey who was standing a little way in front of you to your left.

Your skin crawled, your dominant hand absently groping for a knife that wasn’t there as you steadily lifted your gaze to a glaring na’vi woman. Saeyla, you recognised her as, as she had been one of Tsu’tey’s students who had completed her iknimaya alongside Jake. Although you’d never spoken to her directly, you knew her for her blatant honesty and strong beliefs. 

Every inhale you took through your exomask felt obnoxiously loud, even more so than before with her unblinking gaze on you. You hadn’t felt this awkward and out of place, since stepping into Grace’s laboratory for the first time. Where everyone was busy or carrying out a job, barely sparring you a confused glance, and had left you to stand stupidly in the doorway with your rucksack over one shoulder. 

<”Saelya.”> You greeted politely, as you had always greeted her. With a swift dip of your chin and the ‘I see you’ hand gesture. She did not return it. 

Instead, her gaze snapped up to someone directly behind you. And when she spoke, her tone was sharp and icy. <”Is this your influence, Toruk Makto?”> She asked plainly, <”convincing our Olo’eyktan to bring a stray into our sanctuary?”>

<”Stray?”> You repeated cuttingly. 

It took Jake a moment to figure out what she was telling him, but he managed to translate it well enough on his own. <”I didn’t do any influencing.”> Jake replied honestly, his lips quirking up into a small grin. 

Saelya’s tail thrashed. Her head abruptly snapped downwards, her eyes finding yours’ and holding with crippling intensity. “What are you doing here?” She snapped, unexpectedly switching to English. Your eyes widened in shock. You hadn’t even been aware she knew English. ”You people are not to be here.” 

<”I was invited.”> You replied sharply, revelling in her surprise at your choice of language. Clearly, she had not been expecting you to be fluent.

<”You are one of the scientists then.”> She deducted, flashing her teeth as she took an intimdating step closer.

“Careful.” Jake warned lighty, a hint of amusement creeping into his tone.

Despite her height advantage, you were not unnerved by her. She would not act without a go ahead from the others. Nonetheless, it was reassuring to feel Jake step up behind you anyway, his shadow causing the light to shift. You didn’t have to look up to know that his amusement had melted into something more sinister.

The huntress stilled her approach. <”Why?”>

Jake jerked his head to your left.

Saeyla followed his gaze only to start when she found Tsu’tey already glaring back at her. With ease, the Olo’eyktan extracted himself from the crowd and approached with an unimpressed tilt to his chin. His strides could only be described as predatory. 

<”Is there a problem?”> Tsu’tey asked, his tone giving nothing away. <Saeyla?”>

Accidentally, the huntress now had the attention of the entire clan, and she knew it. She shifted uncertainly on her feet, as she studied Tsu’tey’s expression carefully. When she next spoke, her voice was even and sure. <”There is a demon in our sanctuary.”> She told him bluntly as if he didn’t have eyes.

A murmur went through the clan at Tsu’tey’s back, whereas the Olo’eyktan simply frowned. Pointedly, your mate looked at you, then looked you up and down with a fire in his eyes that made your stomach twist warmly. With what could only be described as arrogance, he returned his attention to the huntress. <”I see no demon.”>

Saeyla opened her mouth with a snap, only to catch herself and visibly calm her posture. Her tone was reproachful when she found the right words. <”I have never known you to joke, Olo’eyktan. And certainly not about something like this.”> 

<”I’m not joking.”> Tsu’tey assured her, in that infuriatingly all-knowing tone of his. Behind you, you heard Jake attempt to smother an amused snort. 

Saeyla licked her lips. With a deciding shift of her stance, she pointed down at you. <”Demons are dangerous, Olo’eyktan.”>

<”They are.”> Tsu’tey agreed.

<”Then why did you bring a Demon here?”> Saeyla demanded, <”they are not be trusted. They are dangerous and destructive, and you should not have brought one this close to Eywa’s throne after they’ve taken EVERYTHING from us!”>

<”I understand you are uneasy, Saeyla, but know that I did not make this decision lightly. They have proven themselves more than trustworthy.”>

<”Trust will not protect us.”> Saeyla pushed, <”Demons turn on each other all the time.”> The huntress added, shooting a pointed look at Jake. <”What makes this one any different? What’s stopping it from turning on us?”> 

Tsu’tey smiled, all fang and quiet anger. His eyes had flickered back to you, but were hovering just above your head, watching something. <”Look closer.”> He motioned, to which Saeyla snapped her head in the direction he pointed.

She paled. 

You cocked your head, glancing over your shoulder to find that Jake had backed up a couple steps and was now beaming with what could only be described as pride. He pointedly looked up, his eyebrows quirking playfully. 

You followed his gaze, only to find a single atokirina hovering above your head. The sacred seed was much larger with you this size, but it felt no more threatening than it had the day of the battle. Slowly, as if to avoid startling you, the sprite floated lower and lower until it perched upon the black plastic rim of your exo mask. You watch it wave its little tendrils. How it remained perched even when a light breeze swept across the moss, surely strong enough to dislodge it.

With your movements slow, you looked back to the huntress, to the clan who now looked upon you with a sense of awe and almost respect. You looked past them to Tsu’tey, who grinned openly, his tail swaying happily. 

He turned back to the clan as Saeyla struggled to find words strong enough to debunk such a blatant sign. <”The Great Mother has spoken!”> Tsu’tey said loudly, as a ripple went through the crowd. Saeyla 

<”TSU’TEY!”> Mo’at suddenly bellowed back, to which the Olo’eyktan went very still. Even from your point of view, you saw the People effortlessly parted for their Tsahik as she approached at a brisk pace. 

Tsu’tey had gone stiff. His spine unnaturally straight as he watched Mo’at approach with fire in her eyes. 

She broke free of the crowd and strode across the moss. Everything about her screamed pissed off. And yet her voice was light and almost relieved as she continued to speak. <”You have returned.”> She threw her hands up into the heaven’s dramatically. <”Oh how the Great Mother weeps in relief.”> 

Her eyes flickered up to the cliffs, to toruk, before dropping back to the small gathering. You watched her eyes brighten at the atokirina perched on your mask, before she spun back to the people, her voice rising. <”Our Olo’eyktan has returned to us unharmed and successful. May we sleep soundly on this night.”>

A relieved hum went through the clan. Mo’at lowered her hands. <”Continue with your tasks my People.”> She instructed, and just like that, the tension in the Well of Souls broke and ebbed away. 

She smiled tightly, waiting until the clan’s attention was fully off her, before whipping round. Saeyla jumped at her sudden movement, and ducked her head as she hurried away. Mo’at glared at her retreating back before, snapping her eyes back to Tsu’tey. The fury from before leapt up into her face within seconds.

<”Where have you been!”> She snarled, whacking Tsu’tey upside the head as one would swat at a persistent fly. <”No message! No ikran! Not even a hunting party to support you! What were you thinking?!”>

Tsu’tey growled his irritation, darting away. Mo’at simply followed him, her rant only just picking up speed. <”You were not! Clearly!”> She declared dramatically. <”Stupid man!”>

<”Um, Mo’at-”> You spoke up only for her to cut you off.

<”Quiet you!”> She growled, spinning her hurricane of wrath in your direction. The atokirina perched on your mask promptly took flight and floated back towards the Tree as the Tsahik approached. Mo’at pointed an accusatory finger in your direction. <”You are just as stupid, if not more so! Wandering off in the darkness, no escort, no backup, no plan!”>

<”Hey, that’s not-”>

<”And look at the state of you!”> She shrilled. 

You looked down at your dirty, torn attire. Despite Tsu’tey’s best efforts by the river, your clothes had definitely seen better days.

The Tsahik’s attention slid off of you and returned to Tsu’tey, her tone gravely serious. <”I feared you would not return to us. That you would leave me to heal an already broken clan. To appoint a third Olo’eyktan in so little time. There is so much you still have to do. So much you can prove. You have been training for this position since you were a boy!”>

Mo’at was still talking, but visibly losing steam. <”Do not recklessly throw it all away because you fear we will not support your decisions. This clan has, and always will be your family, Olo’eyktan. If you ask them, the People would have gladly helped you.”>

Looking suitably chastised, Tsu’tey apologised. <”I am sorry Tsahik. I was not thinking.”>

<”I know what it is to want to protect everyone.”> Mo’at breathed, <”but you must learn to think more logically.”>

<”Of course.”>

She hummed thoughtfully as she visibly softened. <”Come. Warm yourselves by the fire, I assume you have no eaten yet.”>

>_<

<”We need to move the clan.”> Tsu’tey said calmly, his tone all business as he sat perched on a fallen log and stared into the flames. Mo’at leant over his back, applying salve to a nasty scratch. <”It is no longer safe here with the Demons lurking within the forests.”>

The Tsahik hummed thoughtfully, dabbing more ointment over the wound before replying. <”It would have been better to move once they have been sent away, but you are right, it is dangerous to remain. We will begin preparations. Come sunrise, we will leave.”>

Tsu’tey nodded his understanding, his teeth grinding as Mo’at began applying leaf bandages.

Neytiri lightly nudged your arm, you jumped, tearing your gaze from Tsu’tey’s grimace, to find the huntress knelt beside you, offering a leaf of nuts and fruit. Since dinner wouldn’t begin being prepared for several more hours, you were touched by her kindness in wandering off to forage for something edible for you. 

<”Thank you.”> You breathed, eagerly reaching for the leaf. She smiles tightly, letting you take it from her before gingerly sitting down on the log beside you.

Mo’at was finishing up tending to Tsu’tey, when Jake returned to the fire with your atokirina knife in hand after realising that your gun had been lost. 

He held it out, to which you smiled gratefully and reached up to take it from him. In seemingly slow motion, you realised that the arm you’d reached with had the swirl mark from Tsu’tey’s kuru tattooed into the delicate skin. Your eyes widened in realisation in comical synchronisation with Jake’s eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. Without warning, his large hand shot out and caught you by the forearm.   

“The hell is this?” He asked, his tone reminiscent of a parent finding bruises on their kid. With surprising gentleness, he turned your arm over, his eyes raking over the beautiful swirls of darkened pigment. 

“Dunno. Some chemical reaction from Tsu’tey’s kuru, I presume. It’s not painful or anything.” You explained simply, watching in amusement as Jake’s eyebrows somehow hitched higher.

“His kuru?” Jake repeated, “what were you doing near his-” he cut himself off with a scandalous gasp. “Tsu’tey, show me your tentacles!”

”My WHAT?” The Olo’eyktan spluttered, but it was too late. 

Jake had tossed you your knife and swept around the fire towards Tsu’tey who promptly launched himself to his feet to dart away. “Back off!” The Olo’eyktan warned sharply, his hand flying to his own knife, to which Jake ignored him and kept advancing at an alarming speed.

“Just bloody show me!” The marine ordered, “it’s important.”

Tsu’tey did not look impressed, but judging by the way Jake was clearly not about to give up, he found it safer to just do as he was asked. With a withered glare, he pulled his braid over his shoulder and lifted the end so that his tendrils emerged from the end. To your fascination, the usually pastel lilac skin of them, had deepened into a plum purple.

Mo’at’s breath audibly stuttered as Neytiri let out a strangled sound. You simply stared, transfixed by the gorgeous new shade of purple. So little was known about the na’vi, it hadn’t even occurred to the science department to investigate how bonding could alter an individual’s pigment, let alone how that might impact their instincts. It was fascinating how your own body had changed because of the bond. 

“You did not!” Jake laughed, stepping closer, only for Tsu’tey to drop his braid and snap his teeth at him. Luckily, the marine did not seem interested in a fight. He backed away, still grinning. “God, Norm owes me so much money!”

“You did not bet on us!” You interjected, feeling suddenly betrayed.

Jake just grinned. “Of course we did. We knew it was going to happen.”

“Since when?”

“Since he didn’t kill you on sight.”

“Fuck you. You weren’t even on planet for that shitty introduction.”

“Nope. But the cranky bugger clearly has a soft spot for you. And I noticed that on my first bloody day!”

“I did not!” Tsu’tey immediately interjected, even though the looks the others shot each other clearly indicated that no one believed his flustered outburst. 

Up until this point, Neytiri had largely just been watching how things played out, But now, she was chuckling to herself, a grin of delight causing her ears to flatten uncontrollably as she looked at the mark on your wrist. <”You’re just like Kiolu!”> She suddenly burst out, pointing at Tsu’tey who’s face morphed into an expression of pure offence. 

<”I AM NOT!”>

<”YOU ARE!”> Neytiri accused, cackling loudly enough to upset the birds in the trees. Tsu’tey snarled at her, darting around the fire at an unsettling speed, to which Neytiri frantically clambered to her feet. She sidestepped his clumsy swipe at her torso, still grinning with childish glee. <”YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE PUT A DON’T TOUCH SIGN ON THEIR FOREHEAD!”>

<”I DID NOT DO IT ON PURPOSE!”> Tsu’tey denied, his cheeks practically purple with mortification. 

<”BUT YOU LIKE IT DON’T YOU?”>

<”SHUT UP, YOU NOSY WOMAN!”>

<”YOU’RE EXACTLY LIKE KIOLU!”>

<”AM NOT!”>

The pair promptly dissolved into an intense slap fight, in which Neytiri could barely coordinate her limbs with how hard she was laughing, whereas Tsu’tey just looked mortified.

<”Children. The both of them.”> Mo’at tutted tiredly as she rounded the fire and perched on the log Tsu’tey had just vacated. Amusement shone in her eyes as she watched the pair’s pointless bickering.

”What did Kiolu do?” Jake whispered, eyes still on the pair fighting it out across the fire.

Mo’at sighed, low and heavy as if the story greatly pained her. ”Throughout my time as Tsahik, I have had to treat all sorts of injuries, particularly the injuries of recently mated couples. The People tend to get a little,” she sucked on her teeth, searching for the correct English word. “Possessive.” 

“What did he do?” Jake pressed, leaning in close like the gossip he was.

“Kiolu has always been a biter.” Mo’at said simply, “has been biting everything he could reach since before he broke Tsaheylu with his mother. Naturally, I was prepared for when he took Ayome as his mate. A beautiful couple, might I add, terribly polite and competent. Of course, Ayome had always been the brains of the pair, but no amount of intelligence could stop Kiolu from taking a clean chunk out of Ayome’s rump after they first bonded.”

Jake’s jaw fell open. Mo’at nodded knowingly at his shock.

“When questioned, he argued that Tsaheylu wasn’t enough of a claim. That he needed others to know that Ayome was taken. Possessive bastard.” She added merrily. “Gets that from his father he does.”

“Was Ayome alright?” Jake pressed. 

“Of course, he gave Kiolu a matching bite right back and I ended up with two bloodied hunters cluttering up space in my healing wing for stupid wounds. I never did quite manage to get those scars to fade.” She added almost wistfully. 

“Kiolu still brags about it when he has enough to drink.” Neytiri chimed in, grinning wide enough to rival the light of the fire, whilst Tsu’tey was sulking at her back. His pride had clearly taken a beating. 

The conversation veered off course from there. 

>_<

Tsu’tey stuck close to you as the day wore on and the People prepared to relocate, although he tried to pretend he wasn’t. You would be helping out with a task or carrying an abnormally large basket, only to find him either staring intently at you, or swooping in to steal the object right out of your hands. 

And the entire time, he pouted whilst he did it, as if you had threatened or blackmailed him into taking over every single one of your chores. In truth, you found the exaggerated jut of his lower lip incredibly endearing. But inconveniences like his shadow falling over you whilst you tried to mend were not so welcome.

Pointedly, you glared up at the ridiculous man who studied your needlework with a critical stare. <”You’re in my light.”> You offered pleasantly, to which his gaze dragged up your body to your face. At his back, his tail gave an inquisitive wiggle.

You could feel the curious eyes of the women you were helping, looking between you and the Olo’eyktan. They had welcomed you quickly enough into their ranks after seeing you helping out with other tasks, but you were half worried they might turn you away now that Tsu’tey was being a distraction.

To your surprise, your mate looked pointedly at your face, his eyes dragging over your exo mask, before he turned on his heel and strode away with purpose.

<”What was that about?”> One of the women whispered to her neighbour, whilst another simply shrugged. 

Your face flamed as you returned your attention to your work and ducked your head. 

All too soon, Tsu’tey’s feet reappeared in your peripheral just as your mask beeped that it was in need of a fresh battery. You frowned, noticing the oxygen light had begun to flash. 

Wordlessly, Tsu’tey knelt down in front of you, his hand outstretched with a fresh battery held carefully between his long fingers. <”Jake brought them earlier.”> He explained at your bewildered expression, before pushing the battery more urgently at you as the annoying beeping of your mask began to rise in octaves.

<”Thank you.”>

<”You’d be lost without me.”> He sighed dismissively, as you fiddled with your mask.

By the time you had switched out your batteries, your mate had sat himself down at your back, and gently pulled you back against him so you now had a rather comfortable backrest to lean into whilst you worked. It was hard to suppress your pleased smile, as Tsu’tey loosely wrapped his arms around your stomach and dropped his head so that his chin rested on the crown of your head. It should have been an uncomfortable position for him, all curled up and stiff, but his tail thumped rhythmically against the moss as a soft purr vibrated down your back.

The women you were sat with exchanged knowing looks but wisely did not comment on how attached to you Tsu’tey suddenly was. Usually, he would take steps to touch you subtly, instead of draping himself over you like this. Nostalgically, it was like you were back under HomeTree, finding excuses to stay as close to each other as possible. Oh, to think how far you had come from those simpler times. 

Too soon, eclipse rolled in and the clan began to bed down for the night.

It went without question that you would not be returning to the compound tonight. Instead, Tsu’tey wordlessly ushered you towards his sleeping mat. 

Whilst he busied himself with unstrapping his jewellery and weapons, you glanced towards your vacant avatar. From this angle, the still body looked as if it were merely star gazing and had accidentally nodded off. Its face was relaxed and open, its freckles glowing in time with its sleepy heartbeat. 

Large hands reclaimed your attention, and you turned to find Tsu’tey already laid out across his mat. He was trying and failing miserably to hide his eagerness as he lightly tapped the expanse of mat he’d left for you to lay down on. 

Rolling your eyes, you complied. Setting your knife down alongside Tsu’tey’s within easy reach, you curled up on your side with your back to the man, who immediately curled his arm securely around you, as if he had done it countless times before. It was easy for him to pull you in close and tight so you wouldn’t be able to move in your sleep and disrupt the position of your mask. 

You nodded off almost immediately to the soft rumble of Tsu’tey’s purr.

>_<

The fires were dim and the clan was still aside from the few hunters who kept watch on the cliffs.

You weren’t entirely sure what had woken you. Tsu’tey was still curled up against your back, his breath even and his grip secure. Whereas the night was still with only the trees to rival the steady light of the moon. 

Movement by the embers of the closest fire, caught your attention. And sure enough, there was Jake’s avatar staring blankly into the dying flames, with Neytiri lying a small distance away on their normal mat. Something was off though. He seemed curled in on himself, his head bowed and his tail curled tight around him like one would hug themselves with their arms for reassurance.

Instinctively, you tried to get up to check on him, only to be abruptly reminded of how much stronger na’vi are than humans. With all the strength you possessed in your arms, you tried to sit up, but Tsu’tey wasn’t budging. If anything, he snuffled softly before pulling you an extra inch towards him, his tail flicking up to curl around your ankle. Ultimately, there was no hope of escape.

With an amused huff, you instead craned your neck as far as you could towards the lone figure.

“Jake!” You whisper shouted, feeling satisfied when the marine’s ears flared in acknowledgement. Guiltily, Jake lifted his head to meet your gaze, something distant flickering across his expression. “You alright? Why are you back?”

For several long, tense heartbeats he didn’t respond, and that in itself made you anxious.

Without success, you tried to wiggle out from under Tsu’tey’s arm, only to exhaust yourself before you could get a good angle. Collapsing back down on the mat with a quiet groan, you decided that this was a good enough - and comfortable enough - place for a conversation.

“I didn’t go.” Jake eventually admitted, guiltily avoiding your gaze.

Your brows furrowed. “You need to rest. We have a long day tomorrow.”

“I know. I’ll be able to handle it.” Jake insisted, his tone just falling short of being reassuring. In fact, his quiet statement had the opposite effect on you, because now you knew there was something wrong. And judging by his silence, and resigned tone, it was something that had been eating at him for a long while.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He said too fast. Too dismissively. A world away from the Jake who’d been chewing you out for getting kidnapped only hours before. This Jake just looked and sounded exhausted.

“Jake?” You repeated more firmly, feeling Tsu’tey’s ear flick at your tone. You ran a soothing hand over his arm, listening to his breathing evening out again.

The marine curled in tighter on himself. “I said, nothing!” He snapped defensively.

You sighed and opted for a different approach, the kind of question only Grace would have the balls to ask. “How long have you been linked in, marine?” The following silence told you all you needed to know. “Since this morning?” You prodded, to which Jake ducked his head and glared hard at the embers. “Since last night?” A guilty downturn of his ears. “Oh my god you’re bloody ridiculous.” Your accusations were met with only silence. “Please tell me it hasn’t been more than thirty-six hours?”

“Thirty-two hours actually.”

“That is not better.”

“I know.”

You sighed. “What’s going through your head Jake?” 

Jake lowered his gaze to his lap with a heavy sigh. He seemed to come to a conclusion in his mind before he looked back to you, his golden eyes burning even in the darkness. “Do you-” he faltered, cutting himself off with an irritated growl. You kept all comments to yourself whilst he found his words. 

He tore his eyes from the stripes along his thigh and turned to look at you, his eyes shining with uncertainty. “Do you ever get the feeling like everything is backwards?” 

The question hung between you, heavy with tension and unspoken connotations. You swallowed, having feared this was where the conversation was going. You weren’t unfamiliar with this situation, everyone who went through the Avatar Programme, at some point, got so invested in their avatar’s life and abilities that they found it hard to stop. This was different, you knew. This was more than a forest trek gone right and a desire for more time in the link. 

Jake swallowed loudly. “Like this,” he motioned to his avatar body, his hands visibly shaking, “is the real world, and back there,” he motioned vaguely in the direction of the compound, “is the dream?” Another swallow and a sheepish glance away. “I feel wrong in my human body, but this body, it feels right. Do you get that?”

“What are you trying to tell me?”

“I think I want-” he steeled himself, shoulders squaring as if he were about to address his commanding officer who he would need the approval of. “No, I know I want to go through with the consciousness transfer.”

You felt your stomach drop. Abruptly, your mind was back in your avatar, on a horrible day after a series of dreadful events. Anger festered in your heart as grief pricked your eyes. You were looking down at the body of Grace, the glow of Eywa’s influence fading from the vine wrapped around her fragile form. 

You blinked, and it was Jake’s avatar staring back at you blankly, tension lining every limb. 

“Ah.” You forced out, struggling to keep your voice steady. “And how long have you been contemplating this?”

“Since the battle.” Jake admitted, “Quaritch forced me out of my avatar and I was defenceless. I was going to die. And if Neytiri hadn’t interfered I would have. That body, it’s like an exposed limb that I forgot to put armour on before getting into a fight. And I can’t live with the constant fear of being slammed back into it without a moment’s warning.”

His golden eyes were shiny and raw with unspoken emotion now. And at that moment, you didn’t see Jake the marine, or Toruk Makto. In fact, Jake arguably looked more human than he ever had in his other body. Even with his flattened ears and sparkling freckles, he looked like the Jake who had recently lost his brother, but had found home where he had never expected it to be. There was a vulnerableness to him, a fragility that you knew would shatter into a thousand pieces if you chose your words wrong.

“I understand.” You said, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “I truly understand Jake.” You promised him. “But for now, both of your bodies need to sleep.”

“You’re right.” He admitted with a soft chuckle. 

“I often am.”

He simply chuckled, sounding and looking far too drained to rib you back in return. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, he rose slowly to his feet and shuffled back to the mat he and Neytiri shared. You craned your neck to watch him go until he slipped beyond your view. 

<”Sleep Yawne.”> Tsu’tey mumbled sleepily by your ear, his arms applying a comforting amount of pressure around you. Against your will, your eyelids fluttered as you cuddled closer against him, allowing the glass of your mask to press into his chest. 

Come morning, the ikran would be tacked up and loaded with supplies, and the clan would file its way outside of the shelter of the Well of Souls. As the People sang and encouraged one another, an RDA chopper would whizz across the sky, carrying the compound towards a safe new location.

But for now, you simply basked in Tsu’tey’s comforting presence and wondered how you got so lucky.

Previous Chapter <- Act 8 -> Next Chapter

[idjits-areus]

Okay, hear me out. Loki is just an alternate version of Gabriel that he made when he went into hiding trying to separate himself as much as he could from Heaven.

So we have two versions of the same person here:

Gabriel the Archangel

Loki the Norse Pagan God

But why create this whole new persona in the first place?

Heaven was a mess. God left. Michael and Lucifer were constantly at each other's throats. Nobody was doing anything about it and Gabriel hated all the fighting, so he left. He was done with Heaven.

So, he went and found his bloodline on Earth. He convinced the person to let Gabriel take a vial of their blood to be used for a vessel. And they agreed. Which means that Gabriel has his own vessel that was never occupied by a living soul. Which also means that Heaven can't track him, if they even decided to go looking for him (which seeing as how Castiel thought that he was dead I highly doubt that was high on the priority list).

He wandered around earth for a few years after that trying to find someplace where the angels wouldn't go looking for him. It takes a little bit before he stumbles upon some Norse gods up in Norway. This is long before the Vikings were even worshiping them. He quickly makes friends with them and the gods take Gabriel to Odin.

Odin is cautious at first when meeting Gabriel, which is reasonable because why would an archangel want to leave Heaven? It takes a lot of convincing from Gabriel that he just wants to leave Heaven behind and start something new before Odin finally accepts Gabriel's proposal to join the Norse gods.

In order for Gabriel to have that pagan god aura about him that the other pagan gods have, he had to become “blood brothers” with Odin. It's kinda like a power share. Gabriel got some of Odin's pagan god abilities and Odin got just a smidge of archangelic grace. Not too much though. Gabriel didn't want to kill the only person that could offer him an escape.

With these new abilities and pagan god status, he had to come up with a new image. He chose Loki. The god of mischief and chaos.

And so he went into hiding with the Norse gods. He turned his Gabriel version off so that the Loki version could take over. He mainly used pagan magic, but there were times where he used his grace. He essentially cut all ties with Heaven. It was a whole lot easier to become someone new then be the old person with all the Heavenly baggage that followed him.

So how did Gabriel become the main version again?

Easy. Tall Tales starts it.

When Sam and Dean hunted him down in Tall Tales, Loki immediately knew who they were. Him and Gabriel might be different versions of the same person, but no matter which version, he can never forget the reason why he left Heaven in the first place. He also can't help but notice Sam. How he's running too, whether that's noticable to anyone else or not. He can't help but latch on, which is a problem when the whole point of becoming Loki was to not be involved with Heaven anymore. Luckily though, Loki managed to make it through the whole ordeal without causing Gabriel to pop back up.

Then Mystery Spot happened. Loki, knowing full well who they are, couldn't help but mess with them. Especially since he learned that Dean made a deal and is headed downstairs before the end of the year. Part of him wants to be near Sam while the other part just wants to kill Dean multiple times without any repercussions. Obviously Sam finds out what's going on and Loki gets pinned to a fence, which he doesn't mind on bit, but being that close to Lucifer's vessel causes a bit of Gabriel to pop up. If it was just Loki, he would've stopped the loop then and there. But because part of Gabriel popped back up, the loop kept going for just a few more deaths. He wanted to let a little bit of his anger out on his brothers and what better way to do it then mess with their vessels.

Now Changing Channels happens. Between Mystery Spot and Changing Channels, Loki got pushed into the background and Gabriel is now back into world and he's tired. He's basically blaming himself for allowing two humans to reverse centuries of hiding and repressing. And for allowing himself to get too close to Sam because that's what evidently brought him back out.

Gabriel's heard rumors that Sam and Dean are refusing to say "yes" to Lucifer and Michael. He just wants the fighting to stop. It's been going on for centuries and Gabriel's decided that he needs to get them to understand that they must say "yes." That's why he traps them in tv land. Loki wanted to have a little fun and Gabriel obliged. And as you know, by the end of it Sam and Dean trap him in a ring of holy fire. This is where Loki really gets buried and Gabriel thrives. Gabriel's out and he's telling them off. Trying, basically pleading them to just play their parts so the fighting would stop.

He realizes his mistake in between Changing Channels and Hammer of the Gods. He went about it all wrong and he wants to apologize to Sam and Dean. Mainly Sam. He tries to make it up to them by being half Loki/half Gabriel and fooling not only the Pagan gods at the hotel, but Lucifer himself.

Loki never truly goes away. He's always in the background. He even takes version majority after Hammer of the Gods when he needs to hide from Heaven again, up until the Asmodesus deal that gets him unwillingly stuck in Hell.

Yes, I know this contradicts the canon story in 13x18 | Bring 'em Back Alive and 13x20 | Unfinished Business. It's my headcanon though. I have a lot of contradictory headcanons both because of it contradicting canon events or just because it contradicts another one of my headcanons.

[mommyashtoreth]

Your opinion: fanon crowley not liking/hating his own eyes. (and by extention hating himself...?) i personally dont really like this headcanon and dont think that he hates himself or views himself as worthless at all ETC but i want to know what you think

Strokes my beard sagely. This is one of those things that like. I guess I get why people want to hc this but there's really just nothing in the text to support it. In the show we see Crowley without sunglasses all the time, when he's alone or when he's alone with Aziraphale, and the clear purpose of the glasses is like, literally just to hide his eyes from humans. That's it. Idk I think a lot of people project a lot of what I've taken to calling "angel dysphoria" onto Crowley, where he's constantly tormented by his eyes and his scales and his Fall and his general demon-ness, yknow, angsty art pieces where haggard alcoholic demon-Crowley longs to look like the Sweet And Wholesome angel-Crowley he sees in the bathroom mirror ("transgender short film" style), buuut I don't really think that tracks! He hasn't done a very good job at being a demon but he's not nearly as tortured by his status as people make him out to be. I don't think Crowley hates his eyes because I don't think Crowley hates being a demon because I don't think Crowley hates himself. He might be bitter about how he's treated but I don't think it runs deep enough in him to hate a physical trait about himself like that. Again, I understand WHY people might like writing this, I'm transgender and I have gender dysphoria and fictional depictions of it can help process that, BUT I guess I just think Crowley has a lot of transgender allegory traits in the text you could dive into, and "eye hatred" is not one of them. Idk I guess Crowley and his neurosis is kind of a hard character to pin down correctly and I'm not gonna fault anyone for trying to make it a little easier, but I do like picking him apart like this. Oh also you can have low self-esteem in ways that do not relate to your physical appearance and I think both Crowley and Aziraphale are textually really good examples of this, and yet "Crowley has low self-esteem" is primarily represented as like, "snake-eye hatred angel dysphoria" and "Aziraphale has low self-esteem" is primarily represented as like, "body image issues because that is the only kind of conflict chubby people are allowed to have, apparently". Sorry if I sound bitter LMAO I'm trying to be lighthearted here, I'm just. aheh. someone with low self-esteem that is unrelated to how I look and I like representing that in writing. So it'd be cool if people saw the ways in which that ginger slut and I share so much because I am the most important girl in the world

[toska-writes]

Hellooo just wanted to ask for a 2nd part to endure

Everyone and their mothers were asking for a second part so here it is!

“Survive”

Read the first part here (☆)

Summary: the second part of “Endure” continues when Wolffe is trying to crack a plan to hopefully help those that mean most to him

Paring: Commander Wolffe x GN padawan reader (Platonic)

Warning: mentions of blood, wounds, broken bones.

Word count: 1254 (not proof read sorry!)

Notes: do you guys like the subtle change in POVs in my fics or when it’s obvious the change?

Good soldiers follow orders.

So why did Wolffe’s hand shake as he watched your unconscious form shake ever so slightly. What stoped him for doing his job?

A cough startled him slightly from his stare, dust filled the room once again and the layer of smoke near by would have made his eyes water if his helmet wasn’t in place.

Good- good solders follow-

Another sickly cough was let out. Wolffe peaked in further blaster still outstretched. Your eyes tried desperately to clear your vision but it was not use.

A pain like no other shot through your arm as you sickly realized you couldn’t move it. Something pinned in down but even thinking about moving to look was too much.

Through the haze a figure seemed to loom at the only light source you could just make out. A buzzing rang throughout your ears and you only wished to deafen it in some way.

Fear racked your body when the figure you thought you saw seemed to disappear, you could barley remember what happened. The only thing left seemed to be the haunting image of your own ships shooting you down.

One thought raced through your mind: what could have happened to Wolffe? He wouldn’t have let this happen, none of them would but Wolffe always knew what to do. In the war you envied him for it.

Something had to have happened to Wolffe, if he was hear with you he could help like all the times he’s done it before. If you could find Wolffe maybe you could get out alive.

Good soldiers-

Wolffe could see the daze in your eyes. The way your you literally pinned down. He watched the struggle for a moment as you tried to turn and push a piece of debris off of your arm.

He took a step forward, his mind shifted from buzzers and warnings telling him to help, and another that was the calm at the center of the storm. In that one he felt almost nothing.

Maybe that’s what scared him. Wolffe staggered back for a second, his free hand ripped his helmet from his head as his senses screamed in protest. His hand cupped the side of his head while searing white pain was all he could think about.

Good sol-

His eyes cleared for a moment, blaster along with his helmet hit the floor. Covering his face with an arm Wolffe started to climb through the rubble to you.

Fluttering eyelids were the only things that met when Wolffe shook you slightly. The slight move of your lips caught his attention as he started to rip away at the rubble holding you down.

All in an instant an arm grabbed out to the center of his chest plate freezing him in his tracks. The eyes of his commander met his own with fear etched in to every crevasse.

A small voice whispered in the back of his mind to find the blaster, that he didn’t finish the order he was given. What sent a shiver down his spine was knowing that the voice was undoubtedly his own.

“I knew you’d come.” The scratchy voice filled his ears and all others were silenced, hopefully for good. “What happened?” A sob threatened to break up your words while Wolffe started to move again.

“I- I don’t know.” Wolffes voice shook violently taking in the sight he just uncovered. The arm was definitely broken but a medic wouldn’t be able to help this time.

Taking your opposite arm he braced moving to sling it over his shoulder. He could hear the pained gasps trying to lift you up more. Your leg gave out slightly making you crash into Wolffe.

He didn’t know what to do, not this time. They couldn’t possibly use his own fighter to leave the atmosphere. Not while there was barley enough room as is.

They needed a bigger ship, something he could get you safely into. But that means getting back to the hanger and the odds were against them.

“Wolffe-“ the word was sparse and barely heard when the pair started to trudge back into the lights of the setting sun.

It was only then when Wolffe looked down at you, the orange sun colors your skin softly and the dying light wasn’t helping anything.

Blood was on the side of you robes, all over the arm that was cradled at your side, and by the opposite leg.

He did that- the pain was back and he fought all urges to double over in the very moment.

“Wolffe your hurt.” You whispered looking up at the man with a gaze that shifted in and out.

“My concerns is on you right now.” He spoke with a gruff coming back to his ship, only a few more steps.

He watched the daze clear for a second like the sun peaking out on a cloudy day.

“I’m scared. And I don’t know what to do.”

Wolffe’s heart caught in his throat. You were both helpless. As soon as his men saw what has become of him the Jedi wouldn’t be the only traitor among the ranks.

They both were scared.

A plan formed in Wolffe head, glancing over once he wondered if it would even work or if it would implode upon impact. They didn’t really have a choice, trying anything would be better than nothing.

“The base isn’t far.” He started. The memory of all the briefings flooded back to him slightly. “I can walk and get supplies, maybe even a ship and we can fly as far away from here as possible.”

Being a commander taught Wolffe to map out all possible outcomes for every plan he ever made. However dwelling on most of the outcomes he could think of made his stomach churn.

Most didn’t end up well.

“I can come with you.” You breathily spoke looking up to the man.

The helmet he grabbed on the way out positioned itself back in his head and the blaster landed on his hip.

“You can’t stand on your own.” Wolffe said bluntly pausing to take in the trek in front of him.

But what if- what if something happened to him leaving you stranded, or while he was gone you were taken from him. What if-

Wolffes eyes darted back and fourth, anxiously trying to find some way this could all be a twisted dream. You didn’t know it was him, could he even tell you? Putting so much trust in the man that did this to you.

You only looked up at him slightly waiting for him to make up his mind.

“You’re staying by me, we can figure out where to hide you when we get closer, and what to do about-.” He couldn’t bring himself to say brothers. They were both of yours families.

“Maybe we could save them.” The hope plagued your words. “They couldn’t have done this themselves.

That’s what Wolffe was worried about, what if he was in his right mind, if they all were, when they shot down the general and commander they fought the entire war with.

Good soldiers are loyal. Loyal to the ones they stand besides and the ones that protect them in the same way they do.

He was a good soldier.

Both commanders made they’re way in the direction of the base, Wolffe wasn’t sure if he was ready or if he could even protect you.

What if he snapped again?

Good soldiers follow orders.

_____________________________________

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97 @pb-jellybeans @floffytofu @verybadatwriting @solstraalaa @ray-rook @ct-0113

[girlreviews]

Review #184: She’s So Unusual, Cyndi Lauper

You’re receiving a fair warning right at the outset: there are going to be no less than two references to The Simpsons in this review – possibly more -- and I’m not even a little bit sorry about it.

I think that Cyndi Lauper is one of the very first female artists I ever knew the name of and recognized, and knew her record from start to finish. I don’t think it was this one. I believe it was a compilation CD called Twelve Deadly Cyns… And Then Some, that had a really striking image of her with bright yellow hair and a bright red hat. It had all of the major hits from this album, and the next few, as well as the most interesting remix of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun that was done by the guys from Redbone, and was very much my first introduction to the bassline from Come And Get Your Love. That shit worked.

Anyway, I wish that every three-year-old girl got to hear Cyndi Lauper like this because she’s fucking iconic. Powerhouse voice. Uninhibited. Artist. Creative genius. A girl’s girl and a woman’s woman. I’d love to get drunk with her and play a round of cards. I bet she’s been treated like a child while navigating this industry. I just feel it in my bones and guts. Because of the earnest, girlish, sincere, whimsical music she’s making, as well as her unapologetic cute and girly aesthetic and small frame. But she’s always demanded to be taken seriously. She’s the inspiration I’ve carried around as an experienced professional in my field: I can have a bubble tea pencil case with a smiley face on it, and cute stationary, and a notepad with a bird on it, and a cute haircut and fun outfits. It doesn’t mean I’m childish, or any less good at my job, and I will rip you a new asshole if you fucking cross me or any of my employees, cool? Do not be fooled by the enamel pins on my jacket. I could stab you with them if I wanted. I just don’t, that’s all.

My notes: Money Changes Everything, which it does, has a harmonica solo in it, and I think we all need to take a moment and bow down to the boldness of that. How many harmonica solos do we hear outside something like Bob Dylan? It’s pretty few and far between and it’s really fucking great in this song. Every single track on this album is deep, fun, and interesting. And some of them have harmonica solos! When I was a doofy little teen, I used to have a necklace with a tiny harmonica on it. It was ugly as could be, but it was pretty cool. I recently started looking into whether there were any cute, adult versions of it. There are. And I am once again inspired by Saint Cyndi to be cute, functional, and badass.

I’m going to save Girls Just Wanna Have Fun for last because I have so much to say about it. So next up will be Time After Time, which to be honest is every bit as iconic. Genuinely. It’s absolutely beautiful. Stunning. Moving. How does one write a song so incredibly poignant and dedicated to someone? Can anybody listen to this synth ballad and not just feel their heart plunge into it? Maybe they can. Maybe they’re a monster. Not a Simpsons reference, but to illustrate my point: even April Ludgate, known to be cold-hearted and dead inside, can’t resist the pull of this song.

She Bop is one of my favorites. I think I loved it when I was really tiny. It makes sense that I would have. I loved nonsense. I still love nonsense. It’s a lot of nonsense (Oop, she bop, she bop, she bop, he bop, we bop, I bop, you bop, they bop, be bop, a lu bop), but it’s positioned over some very serious-sounding synths and electric drums. That’s my exact shit and always has been. There’s a good chance Cyndi Lauper and this song are largely responsible for my entire persona, in hindsight. That’s fine with me. I think this song is about bad boys and having crushes on them (hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone, because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone). Cyndi Lauper has always been completely about her uninhibited noises. Woops, and breaths, and squeaks, and squawks. They’re amazing, and they add absolutely everything to the experience. Simpsons reference #1 coming up here. They made it the butt of the joke, but I loved it. Cyndi Laupi (yes, Laupi), singing the National Anthem at a baseball game, with all that breathy, squeaky, baritone nonsense. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Also the way in which I mostly learned the words to the National Anthem (you try knowing it when you grew up in Europe? I do not accept your judgment, and frankly I’m still pretty shaky on the words and I don’t care).

Every track on this album slaps, and you should listen to it, but it is one of those where you kind of have to focus on the singles/iconic tracks because they are iconic for a reason. So here we go. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I want to say that this song is so happy and upbeat and means everything to every girl and woman that knows it, which, is like, all of them, ever, and if it isn’t, it should be. However. There’s also a sad undertone to it, or at least I have always felt one. It’s always just tugged at my heart a little bit. I actually have no idea whether that’s just me or whether that’s a universal experience. It’s like a gentle feminist wish. She’s singing about oppressive experiences — from parents, from partners, from society:

“Oh Mama dear, we’re not the fortunate ones”

“Oh Daddy dear, you know you’re still number one”

“Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world”

It genuinely hurts my feelings. I’m not sure a song has ever so captured the simplicity of experience. Just trying to exist. Just trying to walk in the sun. Just trying to go home and chill after work, and for some reason, it’s just hard to do. But, in singing it, she’s fulfilling the wish, because she’s having fucking fun. It’s fun. I don’t know man, that’s really cool. I love this song. But it’s way deeper than I imagine a lot of people have ever given her credit for. I imagine to a lot of people, it’s just a silly little party song. But it’s not. And if you want to fight with me about that, I’ll get my cute enamel pins ready. Here’s Homer Simpson singing it, which I have always found extremely endearing. Do you think it’s lost on him? Probably. That’s sort of what’s endearing about it.