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「 In Your DMs | One Shot 」
summary: you read jude’s DM on insta but never responded, thinking that was the end of it—until he spots you at the club & decides he’s not letting it slide
warnings: club setting, alcohol use, sexual tension, light themes of public attention/fame, language wc: ~4.9k 💌: i forgot who requested this but it’s here song inspo: BADGIRLERA x iBXRHM ft JAHKOY
The music in the club hit you first, followed by the strobe lights slicing through the dark, smell of spilled liquor, and bodies pressed together, pulsing against the beat. Your friend, Bri, pulled you through the mixed haze of vape clouds and smoke from a fog machine with a manic grin, way too eager for the night ahead.
“Our table is this way. Hurry up!”
You followed her lead, clacking your heels against the floor while your other friend, Tasha, trailed behind complaining about how she wasn’t standing all night in heels. The bouncers barely glanced at your crew when all of you strutted into the VIP section.
“Ooo okay, this is nice” Tasha slid into the booth, looking around to scope out the scene. Little did you know, Jude was also there, eyeing you from the minute you stepped in.
Bottles of tequila and vodka were already lined up on the table, untouched. You barely had time to sit down before a guy dripping in loud designer saw your table from across the section and started his approach. You clocked him too: probably mid 30s, big shiny watch, sleazy, and probably more interested in showing off his Amex Black Card than any real conversation.
“Your new sponsor is on his way” you whispered to Bri, smirking when she immediately started flipping her hair out of muscle memory. “Let’s hope he’s worth the pitch.”
“Ladies” he eyed the bottles on your table, smelling too strongly of oud cologne. “Looks like you could use a little more” You leaned back, tuning out while scrolling through your phone as he started the same routine you heard from so many other men: ‘I know the owner’, ‘Let me take care of that for you,’ yada yada. You let Bri and Tasha handle him – it wasn’t your vibe, and frankly, it wasn’t your problem. This wasn’t your first rodeo and guys like him always thought a heavy tab would buy them permanent attention. Not that you minded it; if burning through his card meant you didn’t have to touch your own, then so be it.
You tapped on the Instagram icon, scrolling through your profile, which was a mixture of travel pics, reels, highlights, and photo dumps until your thumb paused over a post from three weeks ago at a yacht party in Miami. Your skin glistened under the sun in a figure hugging bikini while you posed on the deck. Jude’s like stood out like a sore thumb. He liked plenty of your pictures before, but this one seemed to spur him on enough to like it within the first 5 minutes of you posting – with a DM following shortly after:
Been waiting for you to post again so I could slide in 👀 You’re beautiful. Let me know if you’re ever free?
Boo. Lame. Corny. Predictable. You rolled your eyes so hard when you saw the message, not even bothering to respond. You knew how this story went. A follow here with a few likes, a DM there, and before you knew it, you’d be getting ‘owwkayed’ on a gossip page that had way too much time on their hands. The thought of it made you want to gag, so you left the message unread but not unseen.
Tasha nudged your arm, pulling you out of your Insta scroll. “Oh my god, is that Jude Bellingham?” Her voice pitched higher in a tone that meant she was about to embarrass you.
“Huh?” you muttered, not bothering to look up just yet.
“That’s Jude Bellingham” she hissed, jabbing her acrylic nails into your ribs. “Near the DJ booth!” You were surprised you didn’t notice him before. He was tall and hard to miss, one hand holding a drink while the other tapped to the beat against his thigh. “He just winked at someone,” Bri added, craning her neck. “Or at least, I think that was that a wink??”
Tasha shook her head in disbelief. “How is it possible for him to look even better in person?” You crossed your arms, rolling your eyes while staring at the untouched alcohol and assorted mixers in front of you. Jude wasn’t a stranger to you outside of your likes. You clocked his comments on your mutuals’ posts, and even been to a party or two where you were pretty sure he was lurking around. Then there was the DM you left in your inbox like the corny attempt it was.
“You’re embarrassing yourselves” you muttered, ignoring the way Bri kept looking at him from across the room.
“Embarrassed?? Girl, that’s a man worth embarrassing myself over.” Bri leaned forward, slowly sipping her drink while gawking at Jude, who was now eyeing your table. “I wouldn’t even be mad if I ended up on a gossip site for that one. What are they going to do?? Cry about it???” You froze for a minute to give her the side eye. That’s the exact reason you were trying to avoid types like him, no matter how good he looked in person. It was too much attention, too many assumptions, and definitely too much drama. You sipped your drink instead, the alcohol burning your throat enough to distract you from Bri’s yapping.
Across the way, Jude was leaned back against the DJ booth with his eyes locked on your table. You were perched on the edge of your seat, phone in hand, while your friends kept stealing glances at him, giggling behind their drinks. Jude smirked, taking another sip. You hadn’t looked up a single time or even flinched in his direction. It didn’t surprise him – you hadn’t looked twice at his DM either. Even though he was one of the biggest names in football, you paid him no mind – unlike the girls always trying to latch onto him.
“Jude, babe, do you want another drink?” A voice rang out from a girl hovering way too close. He didn’t even know her name, nor did he care to learn it. She latched onto him earlier, trying to touch his arm every chance she got so she could throw herself into his space. He stepped aside, nodding politely while trying to keep his focus on you.
“No. I’m good, thanks.” he spoke in a tone that discouraged any follow ups, which led to the girl pouting and standing next to him dumbfounded before finally taking the hint and walking off. When Jude’s attention went back to the VIP section, he caught sight of the guy hovering over your table. Jude thought he looked like a try hard who didn’t know how to cover a tab properly. His jaw tightened when he watched you tilt your phone a little while the guy gestured at your friends. He flagged down a passing bottle girl, making her stop in her tracks when she realized who he was.
“Hi!” she said, smiling flirtatiously. “What can I get for you?”
He leaned down slightly to meet her height, nodding toward your table. “See that table over there?”
“The table with the guy doing the most?”
“Yeah that one,” Jude smirked. “Can you send over some bottles to them? Dom, 1942, and whatever else is good. Add their tab to mine.”
She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “And what do you want the bottle service sign to say?”
Jude shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “One of the girls over there never responded to my DM so make it clear I’m still interested. She knows who she is.”
The bottle girl laughed, eyeing the table again. “Got it. I can do that!”
You weren’t paying much attention to the guy loitering at the table now that Bri and Tasha had him preoccupied. The drinks were finally kicking in, so you stood up to stretch, swaying to the bass of the music playing over the sound system, but then the bottle girls rolled up with sparklers crackling in the dim lighting – illuminating a path while carrying over a bucket filled with bottles.
“Oh shiiiit” Tasha shouted while standing up. Bri took out her phone to record the whole thing, doing an over the top “Wait..who sent this?!” act in the camera like she hadn’t seen this done a dozen times before on your nights out. You weren’t questioning it either. Someone paid, so who were you to interrupt the flow of endless drinks? You grabbed a sparkler from one of the bottle girls, waving it in the air while your other hand cradled a bottle of 1942.
“Real fine bitch, she ain’t gotta edit out the Getty!” Bri screamed the lyrics of the song currently playing, turning her phone around to record you dancing with the bottle in your hand. You tipped your head back, drinking straight from the bottle while the music bumped around you. Just as you were handing the bottle to Tasha, her jaw dropped and she grabbed your arm. “Wait, look!” she yelled, pointing over at the bottle girls holding up the sign. You turned with the sparkler still fizzing in your hand, squinting at the light up board they were waving in the air. At first it didn’t make sense, but then the words clicked clear as day:
HE’S HIM! RESPOND TO HIS DM!
You froze while your friends jumped around excitedly, trying to piece together what was going on.
“So who is it?” Bri smacked your shoulder. “That’s for you, Y/N. I know that’s for you!”
Tasha grabbed your wrist. “Wait. Is it him? Is it– oh my god it’s him, isn’t it??”
You couldn’t even process what was happening, let alone have time to come up with a lie. The bottle girl pointed toward the DJ booth and your stomach dropped. Jude’s legs were stretched out lazily in the VIP dance section with his head tilted enough to let you know he was watching the whole thing. He gave you a confident, cocky smirk and raised his glass toward you like he already won you over, but you weren’t about to play along that easily.
“Y/N!” Bri shrieked, grabbing your other arm. “What the fuck, why didn’t you tell us he’s in your DMs?!”
You didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Your body felt hot and the tequila wasn’t helping. Instead, you grabbed the bottle of 1942 and took another long swig to drown out whatever was about to unfold tonight. “He’s nobody special. He’s just some footballer. I’m not impressed.”
“Liar.” Bri crossed her arms, grinning. “You’re lying, and it’s all over your face.”
You ignored her, but they were both going into full meltdown mode, squealing and swatting each other while pointing at Jude, who hadn’t stopped watching you. Eventually he got up, taking his time as he walked toward the VIP tables. “Stop looking” you hissed, grabbing Tasha’s phone before she could take a video. Neither one of them were listening as Jude walked closer.
“Not to freak you out” Tasha whispered, “but he’s coming over.”
You kept your head down, pretending to scroll through your phone to try and play it cool. Jude stopped near your table, just long enough to make sure you noticed him out of the corner of your eye, even if you were pretending to pay him no mind.
“Y/N” Bri whispered urgently. “He’s looking at you.”
You refused to look up and instead sipped your drink while he hung around in your peripheral vision. He laughed in a mocking way and eventually sat at a table nearby, perfectly angled so he could keep you in his line of sight the entire night no matter where you were in the club. You tapped your nails against your glass, irritated he was slowly getting under your skin. You weren’t about to sit there being ogled like a trophy when you could be on the dancefloor, having a good time while ignoring him.
“Can we dance?” you stood up abruptly, pulling your dress down with one quick motion.
Tasha groaned instantly and threw her head back against the booth ready to complain. “Ugh..Y/N my feet are already killing me. Can’t we just sit here and do a cute little club bounce to the beat instead?”
“No. I came here to dance, so let’s go!” you urged, swaying to the beat to tempt her onto the dancefloor. Meanwhile, Bri was still stuck on the DM you failed to mention. “Y/N! He’s been after you and you just ignored him??” She shot up from her seat, scandalized, pointing her finger between Jude’s table and you. “I saw his likes but he slid in your DMs and you said NOTHING?”
You gave her an annoyed look, rolling your eyes. “Can we stop talking about Jude? Would you want to deal with being associated with him? I don’t want to be a part of that circus.”
Bri checked Jude out over her shoulder, watching him laugh and talk with friends at his table. “Girl, yes! I would happily look like a clown for that. He could take me to his circus and I’d be front and center juggling his balls if it meant I could–”
“Okay, we’re done!” you cut her off, waving your hands around. “Are we dancing or not?”
“I already said no,” Tasha whined, sliding further in the booth. “I’m too cute to move and my ankles hurt. Go dance for both of us.” You rolled your eyes and grabbed Bri’s arm to walk over to the VIP section of the dancefloor behind the DJ booth. Bri was already swaying to the beat before you made it to the dancefloor, then she glanced back and turned toward you. “Y/N.. you know he’s still watching you, right?”
“Bri, please shut the fuck up.”
“I’m just saying! He’s been looking since we sat down. If you don’t want him..I’ll–”
“No, you absolutely will not” you cut her off, not allowing her to finish the sentence. When you reached the edge of the VIP dance area, you felt the heavy bass moving through your bones while lights strobed enough to make it hard to see beyond a few feet. You thought it would drown out Jude’s stares, but Bri made it her mission to give you play by play updates. Just as you were getting into the music and melting your hips into the beat, Bri spoke up for another update. She really couldn’t help it. “He’s still watching,” she sang in your ear.
“I don’t care” you continued dancing, not bothering to turn around to see what she was talking about. You didn’t need to confirm that Jude was extremely attracted to you. It was blatantly obvious the moment he positioned himself in a spot that gave him a front row seat to whatever you were doing. You could feel his eyes tracking the moves you made, but the longer you danced, the easier it was to forget about him – until the crowd shifted and suddenly he was there right next to you. Jude didn’t touch you, nor did he speak. He just stood there, drinking his drink like he wasn’t wreaking havoc on your girl’s night out.
“Are you lost?” you finally spoke up, tilting your head toward him without stopping your movements.
Jude grinned, nodding his head to the beat as he started inching closer to you. “Nah. Just enjoying the view.”
You glanced at him from above, brushing your hips lightly against him. “There are plenty of views here. Pick another one.”
“Why would I do that when I have the perfect one in front of me?”
“Corny” you quipped, still doing your best to not give him much at all. Jude stepped closer and dropped his voice enough that you had to lean in to hear him over the music. “You didn’t reply to my DM. Why?” You turned your face to him fully, laughing about him being so bothered by an unanswered instagram message of all things in the world. “You’re still on that, huh?”
“Hard not to be when you ignore me on purpose.”
You smiled and took a step back, but he answered your step back with a step forward of his own. “You’re really persistent Jude. I’ll give you that.”
“When I see something I want, yeah.” His gaze dropped and raked over your body. “And I want you.” You hated how much you reacted to that. You felt dizzy from the warmth of the alcohol swirling around in your stomach, combining with your butterflies. But you held your ground.
“Hmm..well..good luck with that” you turned around, pressing back into the crowd but Jude moved around to block your path.
“You’re not going to make this easy are you?”
“Jude, I’m not a jersey chaser. I’m sure you’re used to ‘easy’, but easy isn’t really my thing” you bantered back, which made him laugh in an irritatingly attractive way.
“I never said you were a jersey chaser. I do like a challenge though.”
The two of you were drawing more attention now. Clubgoers were looking and nudging each other while chatting, probably trying to figure out why Jude Bellingham was chasing some random girl around the VIP section. You should’ve cared but the drinks were doing their job. All you could focus on was the way his eyes stayed on yours and how he moved closer every time you stepped back, locked in a game that neither of you wanted to end.
“I hope you know you’re not as smooth as you think you are” you tilted your head, crossing your arms.
Jude smirked while stepping into your space, not caring who was watching. “And you’re not as carefree as you’re pretending to be.”
He really did look even better up close and in motion. The way his lips curved into a smile made you want to run away to collect your resolve immediately, but you persevered and turned your back to him instead, swaying your body in tune with the music. The shift gave him an unintentional view of your dress creeping up as you moved, so he took the opportunity to step closer, brushing his hand against your waist as he leaned into your ear. To anyone else catching glimpses under the strobe lights, it looked more like he was kissing your neck – Tasha clearly thought so. She was slack jawed back at the table, frozen in drunken shock. Meanwhile, Bri was too busy sweet talking the DJ into switching the music into an amapiano mix to notice what was happening in front of her.
“You smell good” Jude voiced low against your ear with his lips so close, the words tickled your skin. “What is that? Coconut?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know” you answered, still not missing a beat but you were a lot less steady on your feet the more he spoke in your ear.
“Yeah” he replied simply, weighing his words with enough insinuation to let you know he was going to be a problem for you all night. You turned to face him with your back against the railing and Jude’s hands fell from your waist and onto the rails to cage you in without touching you. All you could see was his sly, smug grin in front of you while bodies moved to the beat in the outskirts of your vision.
“Why are you wasting your time?” you asked him, dropping your gaze to his lips. They weren’t something you would’ve been focused on any other time, but the liquor was coursing through you by this point and clouding your decision making skills. Jude’s eyes dropped to drag over the neckline of your dress, giving him a full top view of your cleavage before he snapped his eyes back up to look you in the eye. He leaned in closer, crowding your space just enough to make you part your lips in a silent gasp.
“Wasting my time?” he repeated the question rhetorically. “I have your attention, so is it really any time wasted?”
You tilted your head up to meet his cocky tone with some cockiness of your own. “I’m only here because you’re standing in my way.”
“If I moved, you’ll just keep ignoring me, yeah?”
“Yeah” you drawled, mocking his insinuated answer from earlier. Jude’s gaze was almost too much but you refused to back down. “You’re not irresistible in the way you think you are. I’m not going to hook up with you just because you’re Jude Bellingham. I really don’t give a fuck.”
He gave you a wolfish grin, moving in even closer. You could feel his breath against your cheek when he spoke again. “Then why are you still here talking to me? Ask me to move around.”
You scoffed, crossing your arms while looking past his tall stature to look at literally anything else other than him. “Maybe I’m just bored.”
“Yeah? Is that right?” Jude’s voice dipped into a teasing, amused tone. He tightened his hands on the railing, brushing his knuckles against your sides while tilting his head closer toward your neck so he could hear you better. “If I left you alone right now..what would you do? Go back to scrolling on your phone so you can pretend you don’t notice me?”
He was getting under your skin now, mostly because he was right, but he didn’t need to know that. “I’m just trying to have a good time with the girls. Don’t make it weird Jude.”
“I’m weird for wanting to talk to you in person? You never responded, remember?”
“I did you a favor” you retorted. “I saved you the embarrassment of me rejecting you. I know that can hurt an ego like yours.”
Jude laughed against your neck, making you shift your body posture in the small space. “I don’t think you would’ve rejected me.”
“No, I definitely would’ve. I have standards.” you countered. That was true for the most part, but Jude going back and forth with you for this long had you intrigued. He really wanted you and he was pulling out all the stops to make it happen, which was kind of hot.
Jude tilted his head back toward your ear. “Why are you dancing with me then?” That was a good question. Why were you still there, dancing to the beat with him, letting him stand close, talk this much, get so far? You didn’t know – so you stayed quiet and rolled your hips to the bassline that had just dropped, moving closer to him with every beat. He could tell you were starting to crack, so he wrapped his arms around you, just enough to pull you close, but loose enough to let you decide how much closer you wanted to be. “Nothing to say now, huh? That’s what I thought. What’s your move after the club?”
“Good question..” You pretended to look around for your friends to give yourself time to come up with an excuse about how you had plenty of after club plans, but when you looked down to see the way his big hands flexed against your hips, you answered honestly instead. “I don’t have any.”
Jude’s grin grew wide, making him flash his teeth under the strobe lights. He had you right where he wanted you and he knew it. “You could…” he started, leaving the rest hanging in the air just to see how far you’d let things go. You rolled your tongue against your teeth, taking in the way his smile climbed higher into his cheeks when his eyes locked on yours. The smile threw you for a loop and you caught yourself staring at his lips longer than you needed to once it turned into more of a smirk, which he noticed immediately.
“...I could what?” you asked, feeling your resolve slowly start to slip.
“You could come with me” Jude tightened his hands across your hips and you stumbled a little, instinctively reaching your arm over his shoulder to catch yourself.
“And why would I do that?” you asked.
“...Why wouldn’t you?” Jude already knew your answer. You wouldn’t be still standing there if you weren’t interested in the slightest. He was so close to you that you could see his lips quirk upward into another smirk, growing even wider when he caught you stealing another glance at his lips. Instead of calling you out, he let his eyes drop to your lips in return.
“I don’t trust you” you finally answered, yelling over the music. It didn’t hit him nearly as hard as you wanted it to. You could feel Jude’s curls brush up against your temple when he leaned in to make sure he heard you correctly. “Trust me with what?”
You giggled drunkenly, trying to shake off the effect he had on you. “Trust you to not be like every other guy in my DMs.”
Jude pulled back enough to look you in the eye, shaking his head at your refusal to just give in. “I’m not like every guy in your DMs,” he answered confidently like he was so sure there wasn’t anybody better than him trying to entertain you. “You’d know that by now if you answered..” Jude trailed his hand down to caress your lower back. He was right. There wasn’t anyone keeping you as interested as you were right now. But who would you be if you gave in that easily?
You tilted your head to the side, letting the silence stretch into knowing glances. His eyes darted to your lips again and you leaned into it, contemplating letting him kiss you, but just as his lips hovered dangerously close to yours, you cocked your head back with a sly smirk on your lips. Jude had a surprised look on his face and loosened his grip, laughing to conceal the fact that you beat him at his own game. You pulled out your phone, entering your code and tapping at your screen until you opened the Instagram app. Jude’s jaw flexed in the dimly illuminated light while he watched. Once he realized what you were doing, a smirk of his own appeared on his face. You opened your DMs and scrolled until you reached the one he sent weeks ago, typed your reply and hit send. You gripped his bicep to make him lean down within ear shot, letting your lips brush against the edge of his jaw purposely while you spoke. “Check your messages” you teased before stepping back and removing yourself from the loose hold he had on you. He stood there frozen, but then turned his head to watch you saunter off back to your section, swaying your hips more than necessary to give him a show. When you met up with Bri and Tasha back in your section, they dragged you down to the table to badger you with questions.
“So what happened? What did you do?” Bri asked.
You smiled and reached for your drink. “Nothing serious,” you answered flatly, which made them want to question you even more. Tasha squinted at Jude from across the club then turned her head back to you. Just as you were about to take another sip of your drink, she grabbed it from you. “No sipping, more spilling please. Why is he smiling at his phone like that?”
You snatched your drink back, shrugging. “I just told him to check his DMs.” They had no idea you had Jude wrapped around your finger at the moment, so you tried to play it cool. Bri’s mouth dropped open and Tasha gasped dramatically, smacking the table for extra dramatics.
“Check his DMs?” Bri repeated loudly. “You responded?!”
“Maybe.” You swirled your drink and slowly sipped while meeting his eyes across the club. You could see Jude smirk when he put his phone in his pocket and slowly made his way back to his own table. He sat there, talking to his friends while laughing it up until he caught you looking at him from your seat. He could see you twirling the straw around your drink with your tongue, caught in the act. He angled his head, smirking at you and mouthed something to you while pointing his thumb toward the exit. You couldn’t make out what he was saying through the darkness, so he stood up and started dapping his boys up before slowly making his way over to your table. You tried to ignore him at first, pretending you were doing something on your phone even though there was no reason for you to still be playing hard to get, seeing as you just virtually agreed to spend the rest of your night with him.
“Sorry to interrupt...” Jude flashed a cheeky grin at Tasha and Bri that had them crumbling on the spot. “I’m taking Y/N off your hands for the night. I hope that’s alright?”
Tasha and Bri squealed in unison. “Please! Take her. She’s all yours.” They both shoved you out of your seat in a hurry. “Go. GO!” You cut your eyes at them but Jude gave you no time to argue and stretched his hand out.
“You ready?” he asked, eyeing your frame from head to toe.
You nodded, slipping your hand into his without any other words. Jude led you through the club towards the exit, and you took one last glance over your shoulder to wave at Bri and Tasha who were losing their minds. You giggled, turning back just as Jude leaned into your ear when you reached the exit.
“Let’s see if I can live up to your standards.”
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x reader#jb5 x reader#footballer x y/n#footballer x reader#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham one shot#footballer imagines#football fanfic
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Good Boy
Daryl Dixon x Reader one shot
Warnings/Tags: not proof read!!!, sfw, some swears, shane.
this is my first fic on this account, my first time attempting to write a fic in 4-ish years and my first time trying to write a twd fic. honestly it’s probably not great but I hope it’s at least somewhat decent. :-)
(also written and posted mobile so not sure how it will appear on browser, hopefully not too terrible!)
“Leave me the hell alone.” You harshly whispered, turning on your heels and storming away from the scene in front of you.
Your best friend reuniting with his wife and son. Alive. Not dead. This whole time he had you believing that Rick was dead and gone, never coming back. Yet your eyes were seeing a whole different story to the one Shane painted out for you a couple months prior.
Shane followed pursuit, ignoring the former comment you had made and put a firm hold on your wrist before pulling you behind Dales RV to conceal you from the others.
“Hey, hey . I swear to you Y/N, he was dead when I left that hospital room. He wasn’t breathing. Th- the monitors, they all stopped. Everything went dead. He was dead.” Shane iterated, time and time again.
You feel the anger bubbling up inside you, just like all those other times when Shane had told you Rick was dead and to get it through your head he isn’t coming back. Your hands curled into fists, your nails stabbing into your palm leaving crescent shaped indents.
“Except he wasn’t. Is this why you didn’t want me to go there? Didn’t want Lori to go there? Because you knew if you swooped in and saved her and Carl when Rick couldn’t that what- she’d become your damsel in distress? Is this why? Just so you could get your leg over and fuck your partners wife and become Carls daddy? You’re pathetic Shane.” At this point your head was swarming with thoughts and ideas of what you wanted to do to Shane but better judgement got the best of you.
You began to walk off when a hand reached for you again, this time rougher. Shane pushed you against the RV, his brows furrowed and sweat dripping off his temples- smoke nearly coming out of his ears at this point.
“I don’t know what you think you know but you’re wrong either way. I think you’re forgetting that I didn’t just save Lori and Carl, I saved your sorry ass too. I didn’t have to. That was on me Y/N, That was on me. An’ I ain’t ever looked at Lori like that before, she was Ricks wife and he was my best friend. It happened because I thought he was dead.” He all but growled at you in a hushed whisper.
You remained quiet and stoic for a few moments, registering your thoughts before smirking slightly and speaking again. Pushing Shane’s hand off of you, you began to walk away but not before turning and giving one last snide remark, “I think I know right. And, by the way.. really interesting use of the past tense in those last few sentences there.”
Dickhead.
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“I’ve been here for quite a few hours now and yet, still no hello?” You looked beside you to see Rick crouched with a smile on his face, placing an arm around your shoulder which you leaned into graciously.
“Sorry Grimes.. just- a lot to take in y’no.” You said.
“Na’ I get it. Shane told me what happened.” Rick remarked whilst kissing his teeth and shaking his head.
“He did? Really? What did he say?.”
To say you were shocked was an understatement, Shane had really gone out of his way to-
“Yeah.” He breathed out, “Told me how it started, he tried to get me from the hospital but I wasn’t breathing and he thought I was dead. How he saved you and Lori n’ Carl and got you all here.”
“He told you that huh.” You should have known.
Rick started to stand back up, giving you a pat on the back and a kiss to the forehead first “I’m gonna go get some shut eye, you need too aswell. Talk more in the morning Y/N.” Rick turned to walk back towards camp, not before turning and speaking again, “Y/N.. go nice on Shane though ok? He’s a good guy, you just gotta give him a chance.”
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You wake up the next day to the sound of what you thought was - for once - peace and quiet. Until you hear the shouts outside and a woman screaming stop.
Debating between laying back down and just going back to sleep or getting up and out of your tent to see what was going on, you went with the better judgement and begrudgingly dragged yourself to get changed and step outside.
Shielding your eyes from the rays of light beaming off the Atlanta sun with a sigh escaping your lips at the slight breeze that hit your clammy skin.
“You’d best let me go!”- what the fuck was happening this time?
Walking closer you take sight of Shane with his arms wrapped around Daryl’s neck. A fuckin’ cop getting someone in a choke hold the minute they raise their voice? New worlds maybe not as different from before.
“I’d like to have a calm discussion on this topic, you think we can manage that?” Rick spoke calmly whilst he crouched in front of Daryl, his chest heaving with rocky breaths as Shane’s tight grip didn’t let up just yet.
“You think we can manage that?” Rick repeated.
You zoned out at this point, eyes boring into the side of Shane’s skull with anger.
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“I’m coming.” You didn’t hesitate to jump at the opportunity to get away from camp for a while. The rising tension taking over was beginning to grate at you.
“That’s five”
Shane piped up “It’s not just five, you’re putting every single one of us at risk.” “Just know that Rick”
“Come on man you saw that walker. It was here.
It was in camp.
They’re moving out of the cities.
They come back, we need every able body we’ve got.
We need em here, we need em to protect camp.”
Staying focused when Shane’s voice is droning on for what seems like eternity is quite the mission lately. Listening to him is beginning to seem like nails on a chalkboard.
“-Shane is right. Merle Dixon? He’s not worth one of your lives, even with guns thrown in.”
Hearing Loris voice made you gain attention again.
“If someone left Rick behind-“ you began to join the conversation, maybe with the words aimed at Shane slightly. He clearly picked up on it as his eyes shot to you, if looks could only kill, you’d be six feet under.
“Would you want them to go back for him? Or would you let him stay handcuffed to a roof to die slowly?” Your eyes landing on Lori.
“That’s different. Rick.. he.. he isn’t like Merle. He wouldn’t get himself into that position in the first place.” The stern mom tone coming out as Lori tried to keep her composure and not snap in front of Carl.
“You think Merle purposely got himself into that position? He’s an asshole yeah, and he may have deserved it. But he didn’t expect to be handcuffed and then left behind. Not knowing if anyone was going to go back for him. It may have been an accident. But he shouldn’t have to sit there wondering if he’s just going to die from thirst and hunger or if he’s going to get torn to pieces at the hands of walkers. He may not be your family, but he’s someone’s family. You have your husband, your son. You have Shane. Merle is all Daryl has.” You’re not sure if you were even breathing during that, your chest rising up and down at a rapid speed. You felt rage. How could anyone justify this bullshit?
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Sitting in the back of the van was a bit more awkward than you anticipated. Glenn and Rick up front. You, Daryl and T-dog in the back. Maybe the tension in the back of this van was worse than the tension at camp?
You looked up smiling at T-dog as he avoided Daryl’s intense stare, before he got up and headed to the front to talk to Glenn and Rick.
Daryl kept shooting you glances whenever he thought you couldn’t see, a grunt leaving his mouth every so often as if he was about to talk but decided against it.
Just as you looked up at him, he was already staring with his open yet no words seemed to come so he just scoffed and averted his eyes anywhere but at you.
You began to grow a bit frustrated at him. “What?”
“Nothin’” he all but murmured.
“Stop grunting and scoffing at me like a dog who didn’t get enough treats, be a good boy and just say whatever it is you’ve been wanting to say for the last 15 minutes.” You couldn’t help but chuckle at yourself.
You could have sworn you saw a light tinge of pink cross his cheeks before his head dropped down facing his lap.
His mouth opened and closed, before opening once again “Why’d ya stick up for me.. for Merle back at tha’ camp?”
Oh. That’s what this was about? The intense looks he gave you before this made you think it was about anything but this.
“What do you mean?” You had to admit you were somewhat confused at this.
“Ya said it y’self, Merle, he’s an asshole. So why’d ya go out of ya way to defend him? Why didn’t ya just side with the others and leave him?” Head dropping once again as his thumb found its way to his lips as he gnawed on the nail.
Silence.
You were stuck for words. “He is an asshole. Maybe one of the biggest assholes I’ve ever known. But he’s your brother, maybe not the greatest one but still your brother no matter what. He’s all you have left. The others may not understand, but I do.” Taking a deep breath in and thinking about your next words carefully, “I honestly couldn’t give a shit about him. Doesn’t mean I want him to suffer up there on that roof. No one deserves it. Well I mean maybe some people y’no? Really bad people. And maybe Shane. Merle, he’s not necessarily one of those really bad people. He makes mistakes, says things he definitely shouldn’t and has actions that match, but don’t we all in one way or another?”
Daryl was slightly overwhelmed. Not expecting you to be so honest and caring? Somewhat caring anyway. He didn’t know what to say.
You hummed and tapped your fingers against your legs, “Nothing to say?”
“I dunno what you want me to say.”
A grin made its way to your face.
“How about a thanks?”
“Thanks.” He grumbled trying not to scoff afterwards to avoid being called a dog again.
The van began to come to a stop, Glenn saying something about walking from here.
You stood up whilst stretching your arms above your head.
“That’ll do. Good boy.”
You smirked at him before opening the back of the van and climbing out. Leaving a blushing Daryl in the back trying to hide his face as he groaned standing up.
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authors note: it’s not the greatest, I am very aware. but I really wanna get back into writing in general and I thought starting with twd would be the best place to start as it’s one of my comfort shows. there’s not much happening, it’s very heavily based on s1 e3 obviously but it’s mostly just to try and get back in the swing of things! if you have an constructive feedback or any comments you’d like to make, please feel free as it will be much appreciated :-) I’m hoping to improve my writing skills more and more. It will probably take a while (I’ve literally had the first half of this thing in my notes app since June 2024) but I hope to get to the point of making some good fics! thank you for reading if you managed to make it this far!:)
#the walking dead#daryl dixon#daryl dixion imagine#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon fanfiction#the walking dead daryl#twd daryl#twd x reader#daryl dixon oneshot#daryl dixon imagine#twd fanfiction
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imperfect for you (aka insecure reader x comforting rafe)
kook!reader x rafe cameron
prompt: a party that was supposed to be relaxing and to clear the head goes terribly wrong, leaving a very anxious and insecure reader, good thing she has her very caring boyfriend who knows exactly how to take care of her.
a/n: okay, that's the first time i write for rafe, i really like obx and rafe, so i tried my best in here, but i didn't really like it, i think it's bcs it's my first time writing about him. english is not my first language, i hope you guys like it 💗
You weren't exactly excited about going to this party, but you knew your boyfriend was, and you didn't want to be a party pooper, and at least you'd be with him, nothing bad would happen if you gave up and went to a party, right?
Well, you were wrong, terribly wrong, even though you were a kook, you never exactly fit in, you never got the right friends, and even though you were pretty, guys just didn't seem to be interested in you.
That was until, Rafe Cameron laid eyes on you, in your little sundress, having a drink at the club, just looking for some peace, you looked almost ethereal in his eyes, and he just knew you were meant to be together, it took a while to convince you of that. You spent most of the talk thinking it was some bad joke, because there was no way, Rafe Cameron, the king of kooks, was there, talking to you, interested in you and not on your hot friend, or literally anyone else.
You two get along almost instantly, his charm had you wrapped around his finger, and you loved it.
It had been months since you two started dating, but you still didn't feel like you fit into his social circle. So when, the first moment he separated from you at the party, a girl purposely bumped into you, spilling her drink on your short dress and whispering 'Whore' in your ear, you were sure.
Rafe didn't get it why you suddenly looked so upset, but he wanted everything, but to see his girl upset, so when he suggested for you, that you two go home, you happily headed towards the truck.
"Sweetheart, you need to talk to me. What the hell happened that you suddenly look like a kicked puppy?" and it only took his playful words for you to burst into tears in the passenger seat, it wasn't just the girl or the stained dress, everything looked too much, and you looked so small, a girl being an bitch was all you needed to lose it.
Rafe immediately looked at you with his blue eyes filled with concern. "Hey, love, I was just kidding, you don't look like a kicked puppy, I swear." he says trying to understand what happened to make you break down.
You looked up at him, your pretty eyes shining with tears. "I just-, I don't feel like I fit in, Rafey, like i fit right in with you, but i'm just unwanted by everyone else," she says, her voice cracking with tears. "I tried to fit in, but I've been around these people my whole life, and they've never liked me, and now I feel like I'm holding you back, or making them look down at you"
Now, he looks like a kicked puppy as he looks at you with a worried expression. "Honey, you don't have to fit in, those people at the party, they don't like me either, they look at me like shit too and that's not your fault, not at all, you don't need to fit in with them because you think you have to because of me, the only person I need by my side, is you."
She blinks her bright eyes at him, as if the words had run away from her mind. The car stops in front of the house, and he gets out, opening the door for her, greeting her with a kiss before the words even come back to her. "I love you, no matter what any of those assholes think, because you're the one who's here for me, not them."
She looks at him, looking almost wonderstruck, a smile breaking across her face, wrapping her arms around his neck. "The only person I need is you, Rafe," she says, knowing that the feeling was mutual. "What do you say we go inside, put you in some comfy clothes, and watch Sex and the City?" She laughs at how well he knows her as they walk into the house, his hand around her waist.
"Sounds perfect."
#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron#rafe cameron thoughts#rafe cameron x you#rafe obx#drew starkey#outerbanks rafe#obx#outer banks
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Odd sensation, the tattoo gun. On the internet, they said the forearm wasn’t bad. One of the least painful spots, which is why I try to suppress my wince as the needle buzzes over my skin.
“It’s more painful when you’re tired or dehydrated, by the way,” says Kwan, the artist, her chewing gum smacking in her mouth over the sound of thrash metal.
“Right, right. I guess I’m always dehydrated a bit.”
“He never drinks water,” Jonas pipes up from the sofa. “I remind him of it all the time, but he won’t.”
“Everything wrong with my life probably comes back to that,” I grin at Kwan, and the corner of her mouth ticks up.
“You’re cute,” she says. “Pretty little face. How old are you guys?”
“Twenty,” Jonas says. “At least me. Jude is still nineteen.”
“Wow. Little babies,” Kwan wipes pooling black ink with a tissue, revealing a thin curved line along my forearm. Weird, I think, looking at it. That’s there forever now. Every day until I’m dead, I’ll look down and there’ll be something on my arm.
“And what brings you to Phuket?”
“Well, to be honest, Kwan, we came here just for you,” I say. Her eyes flick to my face, and she sighs with resignation. “You’re good, you know that? You’re going to go far. Going to break some hearts.”
“We’re backpacking,” Jonas clarifies. “Bangkok for a week, Phuket for another, then we’re going to the Phi Phi Islands and Koh Samui. Jude is acting on complete impulse with this tattoo. I think he is probably trying to flirt so that you like him.”
“And the mango,” she says, now delicately inking the leaves. “Is it personally significant?”
“No, I just liked it. Your art is nice. Never thought I’d get a tattoo because I thought they were all, you know, big thick lines and shit, but yours…”
“Thank you.”
“And like, I guess the mangoes here taste really good, so I could say it’s a memento of my time in Thailand.”
Kwan exhales a laugh. “And not too much between your ears, I see, which is good. Otherwise I think you would doom womankind.”
I grin. “God, Kwan, I love when women insult me. It’s my bread and butter.”
The tattoo gun hits a nervy patch of skin near my inner elbow and I hiss through my teeth. “Ah!”
“Too much?”
Then I laugh. “Yes. No. Maybe it depends, doesn’t it? I hope this is worth it.”
Later, strolling the beach, I take a photograph of my arm wrapped in plastic and send it to my mother.
Look what I did. Why would you do that to your body????
She gets back.
Is that permanent???
I cackle.
“What are you laughing at? Did you send that to Astrid?”
“No, to my mom. She doesn’t approve.”
“Oh,” Jonas frowns, as though this is of deep concern. “Doesn’t her reaction disappoint you?”
“No, I knew she’d hate it, and now she’s going to show my dad and he’ll hate it even more. It was the same when I pierced my ears on holidays. He doesn’t think men should do things like that, and whatever.”
“And you like that he is outraged?”
“Yeah, it’s funny. He hates everything I do regardless, so like, might as well lean the whole way in, you know?”
“You should send the picture to your dad.”
“Nah, I don’t really… I don’t, like, text him… or anything like that.”
“Never?”
“Nah. He wouldn’t respond, anyway. It’s better to get a reaction from my mom.”
He hesitates, getting ready to attempt some conversation, no doubt, that I haven’t much interest in having. I feel my defences rise before he opens his mouth. A blanket of emotional exhaustion settling over me. “You haven’t spoken too much about your father before,” he says. “I assumed you are not close, but—”
“Please,” I say. “Let’s not.”
“But I am just thinking about how—”
“Jonas, it really doesn’t have to be like this. It’s really not a fun conversation to have.”
“Right. It’s just that you’ve even had dinner with my stepfather when he came to visit, and you know all about my father and my half brother and–”
“Yeah, I know. Max was a nice man. It was a nice dinner, but just because you’ve shared stuff with me doesn’t mean I have to share back.”
“But don’t you think since we’ve known each other for months now, and we are friends, that you should tell me something about your family?”
“You telling me personal things doesn’t make you entitled to know things about me.”
“Yes, but just some basic facts. What is your father’s name?”
“Chris.”
“Christian?”
“Topher. Christopher.”
“And he is American.”
“Yes.”
Jonas leaves space for me to elaborate, and I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest. How old I do feel when people ask me about my dad? Twelve, every single time. Twelve, and destroying his stupid rare collector’s book purely for attention. He lost his mind and whacked my face with the back of his hand. Wedding ring rapped across a cheekbone. Was exhilarating to see him display an emotion. I remember laughing on the floor with hysterical glee among the shredded pages. A vindictive little winner.
“He was born in California. He has four brothers. He studied dental medicine at the University of New Mexico, then he got my mom pregnant and married her.”
Another pause. “I see it was difficult for you to say that.”
“It was fine.”
“He was in university when you were born?”
“Yeah. He was twenty-one.”
“And your mother?”
“Nineteen.”
“Your age.”
“Yes, my age. Terrible for her, I suppose. I don’t know. She’s fine. They’re both fine.”
He nods. “So you are determined to remain a mystery.”
“I’m determined to enjoy my trip, to be honest.”
“Well, thank you for sharing facts about your father.”
My arm is already sweating under the layers of plastic, beaten by the sun. Kwan said I shouldn’t expose the tattoo to sunlight. Then why did I get this thing? On holidays by the beach, about to spend another two weeks island hopping, and how hot is it? Thirty-seven? Forty? Sometimes my own reasonings are mysterious to me.
“Let’s do something else,” I say, agitated by myself and everything around me. “What’s next?”
“You just got a tattoo, and now you are already looking for more excitement?”
“Yes, come on, I’m bored.”
“Okay, okay, let’s think of something.”
Beginning // Prev // Next
#lucky boy 2011#i was away sorry!#not away actually but just not making my story#i'm feelin blue this Jan#but glad to be enjoying fictional sunshine with my 2 boys
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Chapter 64 Samurai Posting
HELLO, VOID! We got some excellent stuff this chapter. World building, character dynamic exploration, character progression, all told with awesome action- this is peak Kagurabachi! Bit shorter than usual because IRL is steamrolling me...
Rough TL of the Editor's Notes:
Front Page: 座村の娘イヲリを狙う久々李. チヒロを前に…? [Samura no musume Iori wo nerau Kuguri. Chihiro wo mae ni...?!] Kuguri targets Samura's daughter, Iori. Chihiro stands before him...?! Last Page: 逭せるなら今のうち♪ [(ni)seru nara ima no uchi] Now's the time to escape♪
The Fight
World building!
So all the bearers were chosen because of their skill and personal approval from Kunishige! Makes sense. Gotta have solid fundamentals to make the most of using these swords- but where does that leave Chihiro?
Pissing off Kuguri, the guy who studies the blade instead of going to parties and having normal social interactions!
So he's kind of scuffed with how he fights sans Enten. Also makes sense. But trying to learn in the middle of battle is a bit risky, isn't it?
He won't become a sword master after this fight but I wonder how he'll keep improving. Will he pick up random moves to copy? Maybe the Sushi Bearer can help him with the basics once this fight is done? Inquiring minds would like to know...
HMM
Chihiro is narrating this and we don't know if he got details on what actually happened from Shiba in the hospital yet or not. All he knows is propaganda that everyone else is taught. So this throws theories of Magatsumi's wielder being a child who accidentally picked up the sword causing The Incident into serious doubt, but doesn't totally deny it... god, we need more info. Please, Hokazono-sensei! I'm going numb from all the teasing!
But at least this explains why Samura et. al. are leagues above Chihiro. He's been figuring things out on his own like Hiruhiko wants to do and his fundamentals are actually pretty shoddy. He can tap into the blade's True Realm easier, and draw out more of it's abilities, but his stance and such leave him wide-open to experienced swordsmen.
Trying to summon the Great Serpent of Ronka...?
For the record, all these clangs and screech effects are to show how messy Chihiro's swordsmanship is. Someone who could fight properly wouldn't be dragging the blade around when parrying or swinging it like a club. Kuguri's got a lot to teach Chihiro...
Someone... listened to me?!
I'm pretty sure he's going to be yelling instructions at Chihiro on how to fight better while trying to kill him and I can't wait to see it. His need to fight and slice got tangled up with being taken seriously as a learning resource and I hope the results continue to bring the laughs! I'm completely won over by this guy and the "while you partied, I studied the blade" energy he radiates. I gotta know how he came to idolise Sojo but thank you for keeping the slightly ridiculous takes on "to clash is to converse" alive. Hokazono-sensei is keeping his favourite guy around even if it's in an indirect way.
It was really funny to see that John spoils Hiruhiko rotten and Kuguri can't fuckin' stand it. They're basically oil and water. I like that we are getting these great dynamics between the villains too- I'm even starting to warm up to Hiruhiko as John's special little boy that everyone else sort of tolerates. I'm genuinely interested in the backstory of how they all came together and... I say this every time, but... I hope we don't have to wait too long to find out.
As for what all of this means for Chihiro and his personal sorcery, we could find out what it is this arc but I think it will leave off at him learning to apply it to his swordsmanship. He's not adept at using his spirit energy like Shiba and had no foundational training like Hakuri did. All he's doing is dumping it into the weapon and using the White Lotus Iai move that Uruha explained and Samura demonstrated. The question of what his sorcery is would come up as more of a legacy question I think, as in if he could make more enchanted blades or whatever his mom could do (that blood test is still hanging around, don't forget).
There's ambiguity in what the sword contract means too- does it permanently remove the Bearer's ability to use their sorcery even if the bond is broken? Or is it only redirecting the flow to itself while bonded? ...Yet another question that will get answered eventually. Hopefully.
Can Someone Who Doesn't Feel Guilty as Fuck Please Stand Up?
You better believe I'm ranting about this with ship goggles strapped on at the end of this post.
And so, Chihiro does in fact blame himself a hell of a lot for Hakuri's current predicament. Never mind that Hakuri has his own personal issues that drove him to this point, Chihiro's adding to his burden of his own accord and no one's gonna stop him. The Masumi are doing their best but there's no getting through to everyone's favourite traumatized MC. I sincerely hope they stick around to keep trying though (and shoving food in Chihiro's face because it's funny).
The phrasing is interesting to me- remember this?
Chapter 58... feels like ages ago.
I'm definitely going to bet on Hakuri making some kind of grand gesture down the line- something in the vein of "we're friends so stop blaming yourself and let me help you!". There's so much tension being set up over Chihiro's complicated feelings involving Hakuri and feeling like he got the guy involved only to let him down by being weak, after all. Toss Hiruhiko's misunderstanding of friendship in the mix and we've got an angst cocktail garnished with crazy. I've got ideas about how it'll play out, but the author will be the best one to tell his own story so I'll just patiently wait to see what happens. Something something Hakuri/Uruha and Chihiro/Samura parallels right?
At any rate, we take a break from Hollywood block-buster action movies to do some super traditional shounen things this chapter and I'm completely in love with the execution. Chihiro's guilt and his insecurity as a swordsman are eating away at him, and now that he can't use Enten, he's actually not gonna fare too well with someone who's studied the blade. The only thing he had an advantage on others was sheer time spent with the enchanted blade- his basics are actually pretty poor! Makes sense since being able to cleanly cut a training dummy is nowhere near the same as fighting someone one-on-one. And a slicing freak like Kuguri who apparently cares quite a bit about technique would be too much for him... if not for some inspiration and Chihiro's ability to adapt.
Some Cool Shit
Small appreciation here:
Talk about making an impact.
I'm in love with how the キン (KIN, sharp clang) sound effect forms the border to separate Kuguri's face from the action shot. It's incredible use of non-traditional paneling and I hope it's not removed in the EN volume release! It would be ruining the artistry of the page to remove it!
Alright, and now...
WARNING: Ship Brainrot Ahead
I'm completely normal about this chapter after months of Chihiro and Hakuri not interacting with each other. Hokazono really saw me complaining in private about them being separated for four months in real time and gave us... this.
"Power of Friendship"? Never heard of it.
Yeah.
The title of the chapter is ビカム侍, "Become a Samurai". But they didn't have to have this flashback- Samura and Uruha are both clearly inspired by samurai already and they were the reason why Chihiro was able to pull off the awesome Iai move he did. It simply could have been a reference to those two and Chihiro learning more swordsmanship to become like them.
BUT NO
We had to know that he was doing this because of Hakuri. Specifically because Hakuri called him a samurai when they first met. Even though Chihiro doesn't seem to recall the "that's you!" part, he still wants to be that samurai Hakuri needs.
I. AM. VERY. NORMAL.
Like, even as a friendship thing, isn't that kind of... intense? Everything about Hakuri is intense, yeah, but I don't know man. Chihiro wanting to live up to the high regard that Hakuri had of him from the start and become the samurai his friend thinks of him as is... I ship this for a reason, okay? Every time I think "surely this will not go so far" the author trounces those expectations and says "NAH I'm making this gay as hell".
We finally got Chihiro's response to Hakuri saying "I need you in my life", and it's "I will become the person you think I am so you don't get hurt for my sake ever again". His feelings towards Hakuri were a bit unclear until now but it's obvious that they're burning bright. He cares so, so much about his "equal partner". HNNNGH YOU CAN SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM, RIGHT?
And just as a reminder, not even two weeks have passed since they met each other.
So normal.
Both of them are trying to be the better person the other sees them as.
I'm having a Kuguri-style brain implosion right now.
I gotta say, it's really nice to see this sort of push to be better that isn't built off of rivalry but rather mutual respect. Chihiro and Hakuri both see each other as the better, stronger person that saved them and it compels them to keep improving themselves. They just have to work on the personal issues that drive them to hurt themselves in pursuit of this goal.
Friendly rivalry isn't a bad or unhealthy dynamic at all, it's just a bit over-used in shounen as the default relationship type between the MC and his deuteragonist. But that might be what happens to Chihiro and Hiyuki. With Hakuri, it's all about admiration from both sides. You know, the stuff the strongest relationships of any kind are built off of (but especially romantic ones).
The conflict in their relationship comes from the unhealthy personal issues each of them have, I think. Because as wholesome and sweet as Hakuri and Chihiro are with each other, their flaws are what's adding tension. For Chihiro, it's guilt over getting Hakuri involved and over-relying on him. For Hakuri, it's the Sazanami mindset of giving one's all compounded with his guilt over Ice Lady. This whole arc seems to be about addressing guilt, so hopefully both of them will be able to start forgiving themselves and become better partners to each other by valuing themselves a little more.
See you later, kind void, I've got fan fiction to write if I can find the time. Take care and hope 2025 is treating you well so far.
#kagurabachi#Uruha I miss you come back#But not as a zombie or some body horror thing#Resisted the urge to tag this HakuHiro
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@shaa-ki reply got too long so a reblog instead lol
No you’re good, that’s an interesting angle that I hadn’t considered! Stepping away from canon facts and actual events that happen and moving more into viewer interpretation, personally, I think the “usefulness” of the Winchester depends on “which lens of the kaleidoscopic you’re looking through”, so to speak. The Michael lineage comes from the Winchester bloodline and the Lucifer lineage comes from Campbell family, if I got that correct. Seeing it that way (I hadn’t considered that yet because it only happened an episode or so ago, so it hasn’t sinked in yet lol), they could both be considered unimportant without the other half, or important on their own as inherent vessel bloodlines destined to fulfill the Plan. But my personal interpretation in this meta-thinking is seeing how the different vessels are shown to be important within the Winchester’s sphere of the world, not the Divine Plan, and comparatively because of that, how The Michael Line and everything with Michael as a whole is much less of a big deal for their family compared to alllllll the shit going on with Lucifer, lol. Lucifer as an angel has a much stronger, immediate connection with the Winchester’s family, he single-handedly tried to ruin their life by trying to intact “his” version of The Plan, and Michael is kinda just some annoying guy bothering them at this point in time on my watch through lol So that was my thought process on posting “John isn’t as important in the universe” if that makes sense! (You didn’t spoil anything btw so you’re good! just reiterating I have limited knowledge based on my watch through so my thoughts are 90% to change with more context later)
Honestly, though, even looking through the Divine Plan lens, I feel like Lucifer is still kind of a bigger deal than Michael, to god, to the fate of the world, and that is also a parallel to Sam and Dean. And that’s also something Michael so far seems jealous of, and def the other angels are too. Wanting all the attention from daddy lol.
There’s more of. A Hubbub with Lucifer/Sam. Their issues end up being a much bigger deal / focus then there ends up being devoted attention dedicated to the older brother. younger brother things, I guess lol
Like, Lucifer is the one to start it all. He falls. His action starts the chain of events, not Michael. Michael reacts, not acts. Michael is someone who kinda got roped into it. He wasn’t at the center of the blast zone, if that makes sense. He wasn’t the bomb. So, comparatively, since Lucifer is needed to enact any version of the apocalypse, and Michael is necessary for the Specific Plan but honestly kind of a side-factor in any of the other millions of ways The Plan could go (the ultimate plan simply being the end of the world. The angels have their bet on how it will/should happen, and all the big players have their own version too, but honestly it’s all semantics. As long as the world ends, it don’t matter how. Based on what I’ve seen at least!)
I hope that makes sense. I totally see how if you believe in the angel’s plan Mary would be useless without her matching key, but so far my interpretation is a little different :)
Thanks for sharing your interpretation by the way, I loved thinking about this situation inna different way! Please feel free to share any more thoughts you have, I’d love to hear <3
Also i can’t wait to learn the context for the things that’ll be funny. Irony and hindsight is a really big, funny part of being into supernatural honestly lol
Cupid: John and Mary Winchester, huuuuge deal. They couldn’t stand each other at first but after us, perfect couple.
I fucking knew it.
Well, no, I didn’t know that the angels organized the union of Mary and John Winchester, but I knew that Mary and John weren’t a good couple. I knew that even if they still were alive and. together, they wouldn’t have been happy. I don’t know why, but I could feel it. Something about how Mary, or anyone, really, didn’t seem all that bothered by John being dead in the “good” timeline where she lives and Sam and Dean don’t get along. How life was good even if he wasn’t there. (How Sam and Dean don’t need John at all.) How Mary never mentioned John in any of her “returns/visits”. How they just seemed like a couple that would argue and not get along, with divorced energy even if they both lived.
It’s so demented and a complete violation that the Higher Powers forced two humans together against their will for their plan.
The Winchesters never had any free will. Heaven intended it. They were nearly patchworked together by circumstance. I don’t think even Sam and Dean feel attached to John the way they do Mary. He was merely an outsider used as a piece in a game. He doesn’t belong with the Winchesters. All he gave was his name.
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I have a fic/au idea that I don’t have the spoons to write in full prose right now, but I’d like to put it out there.
So. Henry arrives on Sodor and an outraged Fat Director demands to know who built him. Henry tries to answer all his questions, but he soon realizes he doesn’t know much about his builders either.
He first came to in a damp shed with boarded-up windows. He never made out any faces, only ever hearing low voices around him. This was done to keep him from identifying anyone involved.
Once this is clear to Henry, it eats away at him. All the other engines on the NWR know their builders, their inherited legacies, and their engine families (siblings, cousins, etc.). Even worse, he’s not the engine the Fat Director wanted. He can’t help any of this.
…but he can figure out who his builders are. And maybe being able to answer those questions would make the Fat Director a little less angry with him. Maybe he could find out what family he might have out there. Maybe he could get an explanation from them.
So Henry asks engines coming in from the Mainland for info, with Edward and Thomas also asking around for him. The crew assigned to Henry sees how much this matters to him, and, growing fond of him, write letters to the place Henry was built.
They don’t make much progress, however, until Gordon arrives.
Gordon and Henry both feel very shaken when they see each other. Their designs are so close that it can’t be coincidental.
Their investigation is impeded somewhat by Gordon not wanting to associate with Henry. For him, it’s uncomfortable to acknowledge an engine so similar to him and yet so wrong. He looks at Henry and sees what could’ve been his fate, as an experimental prototype. And that doesn’t even go into the blow to his Gresley lineage and prestige as which he perceives Henry.
But then it only makes sense, a bitter Henry argues, for Gordon to disprove the idea that Henry’s a real Gresley engine. And so Gordon relents (with some sternness from Edward and some scowling from Thomas as well).
Gordon then admits when they question him that some plans went missing from Doncaster. It was before his time, but he overheard some people still speculating about who could’ve done it.
He says nobody saw the plans as a great loss — that they were rejected for having too small of a firebox for a locomotive of that size.
But as Henry and his crew begin looking into who stole those plans, suspecting a rival of Gresley, things go wrong with his trains. Things like loosened couplings, damaged track that was fine an hour ago, and trucks catching fire.
It’s all sabotage. Henry has become a liability to his builders by trying to expose them. And seeing as they already got the money from his sale, they have no further need of him.
Henry is horrified, make no mistake, but he’s also angry. He’s done with this nonsense. He wants to see his builders face-to-face, to draw them out, to get some kind of explanation from them.
And so he makes the impulsive decision to stop in a tunnel.
He’s miffed that the Fat Director matches his expectations and bricks him up, but not surprised. He does his best to explain himself to his crew once the hullabaloo dies down. But as he lays out his idea, his confidence wavers.
He’s not sure if he can face the people who built and then abandoned him. He’s not sure if he’ll come away from this safely. And even if does, he’s not sure he hasn’t burned every bridge on this railway and any hope of a future here. Can he trust anyone here?
He doesn’t tell them this, though. It’s too late to go back. He can only see this through.
That night, some strangers approach Henry’s tunnel. They’re his builders. They’re here to dispose of him. He finally sees their faces, even if he can’t put names to all of them.
The way they talk to him confirms that they never cared about him. He was always a means to an end. He was always one of a kind, the product of a jealous grudge against another engineer.
And yet it doesn’t hurt the way Henry thought it would. He sees them and feels no connection, no obligation to them. He realizes they’re not and never were his family — that he never had to please or live up to them.
So when they give him one last chance to shut his mouth, to keep quiet about who they are, he laughs in their faces.
He takes great satisfaction in telling them they can’t command any kind of loyalty from him. He knows he could never trust them and he’s fine with that, because he feels nothing for any of them now. He doesn’t need them.
The only thing that scares him is the thought that he won’t get away from this. As the builders advance on him, he thinks that he’s grown fond of Sodor and this ridiculous railway. He wants to roll his eyes at Thomas’ quips, to watch the sunrise with Edward. He might even want to bicker with Gordon. He wants a future here.
And then his crew leaps out of hiding, getting into a scuffle with the builders.
It’s long enough for Thomas to come barreling down the line, followed by Edward and Gordon. They bring the police, having been informed of the “stake-out” plan… and the Fat Director steps off Thomas’ footplate, too.
The builders are summarily subdued and arrested, and all the engines and crews ask Henry is he’s alright. (Well, Gordon does so in a very roundabout, emotionally constipated way, but he still asks.) Henry is overwhelmed. He was right to trust them, it seems. He could more than trust them.
Henry and the Fat Director then hash things out. It’s a tense and messy conversation, especially because Henry is still reeling from the events of the night so far. But the Fat Director says that, regardless of his own opinions, it’s clear the rest of his engines and workmen would riot if he turned Henry away now. And he can’t afford that.
“You are needed here,” he says. It’s not quite an apology, but it’s close — an undoing of the bricks between them. “You are useful.”
Henry doesn’t say thank you, because this is the bare minimum. “Yes, sir,” he says, trying very hard not to cry anyway.
And so Henry is let out of the tunnel and remains on the NWR. It’s not perfect — far from it, sometimes — but it’s home. It gets better over the years. Decades pass before the Thin Clergyman starts asking around for the story of Henry’s tunnel.
By now, not many people know about what really happened. The knowledge of Henry’s leading designer would’ve torpedoed a workshop’s reputation, one which turned out to be uninvolved in what one of its designers did in his free time. Many people would’ve lost their jobs and locomotives would’ve lost the ability to find homes. So in the end, the scandal was hushed up and the builders were charged on the more minor offenses they committed.
For that reason, Henry and the others quickly rule out telling the truth. Nor does Henry want to revisit that time in his life. He doesn’t want to be associated with his builders in any way.
Thomas’ cheeky suggestion about him not wanting the rain to spoil his paint isn’t very flattering, but the others’ suggestions are even worse. (Edward’s idea of Henry being in the tunnel for a heroic reason is outvoted, though Henry appreciates it.) He also has to admit the Fat Director doesn’t look much better in that version of events — he looks arguably worse than Henry.
Is it petty? Yes. Does Henry go along with it anyway? Yes.
The Fat Director, now the first Fat Controller, accepts this without comment. He’s learned and grown quite a bit since the early days of his railway. He’s not the same man who bricked up Henry; he doesn’t think it’s worth getting so worked up over a small dig at him. (And while he’d never admit it, he thinks it’s a way to somewhat atone for his part in it all.)
But even if the Fat Controller did get upset, Henry wouldn’t be afraid in the slightest. He knows the engines here have his back. He knows he’ll always have his family.
#I’m a little nervous posting this tbh#so many people have great takes on Henry and his struggles#I couldn’t hope to top any of that#but I wanted to throw my hat into the ring#so I hope you guys like this or at least think it’s interesting!#ttte#rws#ttte au#my au#rws au#ttte henry#ttte gordon#ttte edward#ttte thomas#ttte engine crews#the fat controller#tw: attempted murder#(but not in graphic detail nor successful)#(there is a happy ending here)#long post#long reads
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Equally Invalid
#trafficshipping#smallidarity#<- shipping rlly isn't the main main focus here but it ends on the kiss so I'm scared to tag anything else lol#cw blood#my art#animatic#it's more like. visuals for character analysis thoughts. because this is way more fun for all of us than writing it all out as an essay#I don't expect you guys to. Get it btw or at least not all of it alot of this is very self indulgent and jumps around the timeline#it's like 99% just for me but still. I hope the smallidarity enjoyers of the world can get smth out of it at least lol#very very very happy for ppl to ask abt specific scenes if ur interested ofc#I prefer not to spell out what things mean cus like. It's more fun for me thinking of ppl applying their own thoughts onto my stuff.#but if you ask I will yap forever god bless#if you want you can play a game of spot the jojo reference. and spot the utena reference#ANYWAY YEAH WOO scott and joel content yes yes yes woo!!!!#do they have a duo name like. at all. is that a thing#happy pride everyone
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Time for a new toy!
Cat toy won by a pretty good margin, so tomorrow there will be a little novelty cat toy in the garden!
So that means...
("Nothing" option will still attract a cat)
#UTDR#UTMV#Neko Sansume#I only remembered it was saturday like a few hours ago lol#But luckily!! I had the winning cat pre-prepared :D#So he'll be ready to go out in the morning#I was gonna start reducing the options to lead up to a lil event but#I drew out the designs for 2 more cats last week so#I think I have enough to do at least 1 or 2 more weeks before I event it up#And hopefully in the next week or two I'll have more time to draw little special bonus cats to keep things interesting ^^#I have lots of little silly ideas so!! I hope it goes well :D#I might need to ask you guys' opinions on how you want certain stuff but we'll get to that later
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Hey 🗑️🔥 gang (@katkastrofa @rokurookajima @shadelorde)…
Heard you guys like feral women 😏😏😏
#yes this is directly inspired by Syd and Nightmare’s recent animalistic Raava pieces#I’m sorry if you expected something related to the spirit kites but I’m obsessed with my OCs first and foremost#and Suiren is already very feral in most verses. the mermaid AU just adds a biological factor to it#but actually. fun fact. she doesn’t even look as feral as she would be were she a full mermaid#(yeah I’m spoiler alert that’s not really a spoiler given that I drew a lot for this AU last year and already gave it away. Ghazan’s human)#(meaning Suiren’s only half mermaid. I’ve never drawn her in this AU but I imagine Ming-Hua looking ever more monster like)#(bc I dislike when mermaids are just pretty girls with fish tails. give me FANGS and CLAWS and SCALES and GILLS and FINS)#(so yeah. Ming-Hua has a lot more scaled and also dorsal fins running higher up her back. and a more dexterous tail. I should draw her)#but I hope the vibe still comes across. with the blood and all 😁#was it a fish she ate or a too curious human? that’s for me to know and for you to find out#ANYWAY!! some new headcanons about my mermaids based on what you guys said about human Raava:#my mermaids don’t inherently know human language. their underwater communication sounds similar to whale singing#above water it’s more of a chirping noise? though more elongated and melodic than a dolphin’s. something between a trill and a whine#and most don’t have the capacity to speak human language. but sirens have unique vocal chords that allow the siren spell to work#it’s similar to a parrot’s. they’re very good at mimicry. it’s an evolutionary hunting tactic#but they also have more developed brains than a parrot’s therefore can not only mimic but consciously speak#though it takes time to master. like a foreign language#am I implying that when Mingzan met as kids they couldn’t understand each other and Ghazan taught her to speak human? yes. yes I am#because I’m a sucker for language barriers and think that scenario is adorable. fucking sue me.#and obliviously Suiren was taught both mermaid and human. but it was Midori who helped her keep up her knowledge#(look I don’t have that part plotted out yet but Something happens to their parents and they’re left on their own. as a parallel to SotRL)#(also btw Midori was born without a tail but still not quite human. she has scales and gills and ear fins and fangs and glowing eyes)#(and no one but Suiren and Haya know about all that. Haya makes her hide it and convinces her that she’s a half fish freak :/)#(at least.. until a certain Beifong with an interest in marine biology comes along…)#(yes Green Opal in this verse are the epitome of ‘there are many benefits to being a marine biologist’)#how did I end up talking about Midori. anyway. yes I made both Kuvira and Ghazan monsterfuckers. no I’m not ashamed#my art#artists on tumblr#Nia’s mermaid AU#sotrl suiren
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so the most recent post from you reminded me- you're not a zosan fan (neither am I tbh) so what DO you support for sanji (in terms of ships or HCs)
I had to sit on this for a bit since I got home but I do have a few ride or dies so we can start there.
SanUso numero um campeao del mundo!! I love love love sanuso so much.... they have a number of really good scenes together and I'm so tired or I'd try and pull them up but off the top of my head in Water 7 when Sanji worries about if Usopp will come back, and earlier in the arc with Enies Lobby calling Usopp their sniper and getting very excited to see him back...
If Oda wasn't a coward post ts or at least post wci Sanji would be fat. Fatness and weight gain as healing is so important and thematically fits for Sanji as a character especially with all of his backstory but alas.
In terms of gender/sexuality I'm pretty fluid on what I headcanon for him. As long as it makes sense for the scenario I don't care all that much. I know bisexual is really common as a hc for him which is great! I also see him as tentatively genderfluid but I don't think he really knows how to articulate it. Probably with weird food and cooking metaphors.
And the last thing I'm going to say because I'm me and its impossible for me to talk about anything without mentioning Enstars but I think he and Niki share similar worldviews when it comes to food, especially when it comes to feeding the needy, what with Sanji giving Gin the food in Baratie despite being enemies and Niki taking in a strange teenage Rinne he found on the street because he looked hungry and both Gin and Rinne feel indebted to their chefs and saviors. I would love to see a One Piece and Ensemble Stars collab with them specifically someday and not just because they're my favorites from each franchise....
#asks#anonymous#not sanji#<- well kinda sanji but not the panels of him#also. well i wont say nothing against zosan bc i do have Some Things against it#but idc if you ship it and follow me. its not problematic or anything#but i think it falls really hard into two conventionally attractive guys with a rivalry being shipped together#bc it feels like they should be. skk from bungou stray dogs feels this same way to me#in that i think their actual in universe dynamic is leagues more important ESPECIALLY#since the panels where sanji and zoro basically try to sacrifice themselves for luffy#and zoro knocks sanji out just got posted on here.#both zosan and skk are much more interesting to me from a non romantic lens....#i also see zoro as very aromantic and not interested in relationships of the romantic nature#i can see him being alloaro but he is not fucking sanji that's all i am going to say on that topic#well anyway hope this is interesting at least. i need to put more posts in the queue now so i'm gonna do that!
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Do you mind dumping all of your thoughts on ebina for us?
i dont even know where to begin on ebina he just sucks major horse cock and i cant be swayed on this but ill put it under the cut for everyones sake. this is rambly as hell too idc i refuse to spend any more time thinking about ebina more than i already do
like what is his purpose. like i KNOW his purpose but it sucks- him being a Plot Twist baby is the dumbest shit in the world and they dont even ATTEMPT to do anything meaningful with it i do not care what anyone says
why even HAVE HIM be related to ichiban if he never even interacts with ichi in a meaningful way, esp when ichi's whole theme is family-- WHEN THE GAME IS LITERALLY ABOUT ICHI MEETING HIS MOM (or it was until they decided they didnt care about akane in the plot anymore)
like we mentioned it before here but if you have to have ebina related to a yakuza from the past for his ol Bring Down The Yakuza gig then why not make him an orphan from kazama's orphanage ???? literally nothing wouldve changed except it would've made more sense with how much kiryu deals with him instead of ichi. it wouldve been a great way to round things off with kiryu's saga too, what with having to confront the consequences of kazama's actions directly and finally and officially burst that fanatic bubble of his (i dont wanna HEAR nothing about gaiden that's not enough for me im GREEDY). theres something in here too about kiryu and daigo but i cant articulate it... i just know that wouldve been better too .... something something kiryu brought daigo into this life and now that he sees kazama 'bring' ebina into this life hes projecting ... idk ..
the game def didnt seem to give a fuck that ebina was arakawa's son considering they fucking revealed it in a bland-ass in-game cutscene FROM DAIGO OF ALL PEOPLE daigo respectfully why the fuck do you know this
i dont know how many people watch my streams but i was so obnoxious about ebina's villain monologue before his fight because its just ...... it just SCREAMS Hey You Guys Remember Aoki Right. fucking Masumi Arakawa Had Two Sons: One Who Loved Him And One Who Hated Him LITERALLY SHUT UP AND DIE I HATE YOU MASATO ARAKAWA WAS RIGHT THERE AND HE DID IT BETTER THAN YOU fucking stealing his bleach japan shit too. you might be able to steal bleach japan and piss me off about it the entire time because fucking everyone and their grandmother besides zhao seems to have forgotten fucking bleach japan but you can NOT steal Number One Hater Son from masato arakawa GET AWAY FROM HER 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 'why did masumi arakawa have to get himself killed' BECAUSE HIS NUMBER ONE HATER SON HAD HIM KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS A BETTER HATER THAN YOU SHUT UP
another thing that pissed me off to no end was the sawashiro shit fuckin Oh He Kept Him Alive Because He Wanted Him To Stop Him SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU . i really wouldve preferred if they just killed sawashiro like old man why are you here- WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE YOUR EYE GET GOUGED but im getting off topic. NOTHING bout what we've seen from ebina could convince me he Wanted To Be Stopped like absolutely nothing i dont want to hear this bullshit excuse. it is MERELY just reminding me of ichi being like 'i wish i couldve been there to stop you' @ aoki and its making me pissed
like im the only person who cares this intensely because im the only person who likes aoki enough like this and im trying NOT to mention him so much and just focus on ebina but its just so annoying... like its impossible NOT to see the parallels, especially when the game is practically bashing it into my brain every three seconds. like if we're talking aoki/masato-adjacent antags then i like eiji so its not the fact that HE IS aoki adjacent that pisses me off its just that he has no agency OUTSIDE of being a ghost of him. like there's nothing interesting about him in the slightest and he's barely even on screen why are you forcing me to give a fuck about this twat. if anything the one aoki thing i wish they did mirror onto him was dying at the end i do not care about this man
#iw spoilers#spoilers#snap chats#i think these are all my thoughts. or at least the very basics#point is Resident Aoki Fan Hates The Guy Reminiscent Of Aoki more at 11#its like .... aoki was an interesting antagonist for his reasons you cant just frankenstein them onto this rando motherfucker#most deviantart oc ass backstory too literally kill yourself#OK IM DONE FR NOW. i wanna DRAW TODAY#maybe ill finally update my ichi blog cause ive had a post sketched for weeks but i keep getting distracted on sundays#im also driving back to school later so .... heres to hoping i have energy tonight vjeLVKERJ#im drawing other bullshit rn .. lol..
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"none of us chose jane" me and the 3 other people that chose jane beg to differ
#bintalk#i have to stand up and be brave and say i dont like kenny twdg and i really really liked jane#she was interesting. kenny was a loud angry scary man. boring. dime a dozen. dont care.#thats a lie i like watching him slowly become more and more irredeemable.#i like watching him go from kinda guy on the farm to (irritating) well intententioned hot head at the pharmacy to#ih im fond of you <3 to oh okay ur being weird abt the teenager but you lost your wife and kid ill be lenient to#oh you found a reason to live again <3 yay <3 to oh that was odd ill overlook it bc ur kenny <3 to haha kenny ur scarinf me....#to Kenny You're Scaring Me to i hope arvo fucking kills you youd deserve it to i hope jane kills you youd deserve it#to im going to kill you. this is a mercy.#id like to put forward that jane is actually an older extension of the twdg fandoms hatred of both kids and women that arent clem#thats my twdg hot take. I Like Jane. i think shes tragic and i think shes angry and i think she has something that kenny lacks and thats the#ability to see when shes hurting people she cares about and at least trying to stop. her fate if you chose her i think#is her ultimate act of i wont hurt you id do anything before hurting you again. i also think it was selfish. but i think those two#things can exist at the same time#shes just so. i think im also drawn to her because there are maybe 5 people in total both in game and in the community that are#willing to think about her in a way that isnt outright hostile. i feel the same way about ben
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genuinely not kidding when I say that Tears of the Kingdom is not only a bad Zelda game, it's just a bad game in general. it's inaccessible to casual gamers who previously could play Zelda games because of their structure. there is virtually no plot, & what little plot there is sucks ass, is predictable in a bad way, & doesn't make any fucking sense, with the absolute lack of emotional reactions from the characters making it all the worse. the references are only there to distract from the absolute nothingness, despite a main timeline Zelda title being the perfect game to have them as a type of storytelling (what happened to Skyloft??). the sky islands are just rocks with nothing on them except fruit, or maybe a chest if you're lucky. the underground is a walking in the dark simulator. the overworld is the exact same shit as in Breath of the Wild & I already explored that twice so why do it again. the caves are pointless. they didn't add much to the game besides that (the shrines & towers are just reskinned, do not fool yourself) & what they did add is just more sidequests to fill the gaps between the bits of non-existent plot. the dungeons suck. the boss battles are okay which is just sad for a Zelda game. it's just a $90 DLC & if that doesn't explain why I'm so mad about this idk what the fuck will. maybe the fact that this "new formula" is a severe step down from the old one, where you had an actual full fucking puzzle game to play with an actual fucking characters & a story that wasn't just more MCU "cameo! reference!!" bullshit
#sorry to people who enjoyed the game. raise your standards#i feel like the people who think this is a good game either are new to zelda or can't look at things objectively#or are in a fuckton of denial cuz my guy..... this game?? this game???? please tell me you're joking.....................#i cannot begin to describe how fast i got bored with totk#at least botw had the benefit of being new. totk is just botw slightly to the left. & shittier if i'm being honest#it's literally just botw reskinned. except it got rid of guardians so it doesn't even have a cool scary enemy#''but the hands!'' i got over that pretty fast tbh. guardians haunt me to this day. the hands are an old zelda enemy#so i count those as just another reference because that's all anything is in this game#they spent waaaayy too much time on that stupid ultrahand & not enough time on the actual fucking game#& btw this isn't like. new. nintendo games have been getting shittier in all the same ways#like. you can track it. they're not doing a new formula. they're not trying out a new interesting way of doing things#they're becoming lazy & cheap. instead of setting up a storyline they just throw you into a big open world#that takes like 2 irl hours to cross & hope you don't notice the time not being spent being told a story#in botw a lot of stories were told via environmental storytelling. you go by Lon Lon Ranch & Know what happened#you visit an abandoned & destroyed town & you Know what happened#totk doesn't have environmental storytelling so that big open world is useless#there's nothing to tell. so the overworld is changed superficially to make it slightly different but that's it#there's no environmental storytelling in the sky or the underground where it'd be best used#they just Tell you things & there are no hints at anything they don't tell you#uuuuuggggghhhhhh this stupid game frustrates me so fucking much & i hate how no one seems to have a brain about it
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[ TRANSCRIPTION: I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand Why did you leave me, Marcy? We were supposed to be together forever. Is it true that you're an angel now? ]
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#JOURNALING: a snapshot into barton's mind.#yeah uhhh... this is one of those darker pages in his journal. but not THE darkest#i kinddd of wanted to give you guys limited context as to what this page is about but let me just say it has to do with marcy. so yeah...#barton was REALLY going through it whenever she died NGL#i mean barton has never been a very religious man buttt he honestly liked to think that marcy was in a 'better place'#though that doesn't mean that he didn't want her back... to the point where he would draw her as an angel and... well 🫠#TELL her he needed her to come back even though logically she would probably never see this page as wherever she may be#it is far away from here. but Barton pretty much almosttt had a psychotic break after she died and that had fueled him to draw some PRETTY-#... interesting thing's to say the least. but ahahhh i know that this one might've been slightly jumpscare-y though i-#hope that y'all still liked it!!#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#tw: religious imagery.#tw: slight gore.
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i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store
anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.
#Can you tell that I'm mentally unwell and also that I had a falling out with these friends and also that I miss them dearly#I actually went to see the sonic 3 movie today on christmas day and I saw a group of people that I know- one guy in the group was one of#The three that was at the store while we were doing the dub. I had a falling out with all five of those friends after that.#That day was really great. It was like a year ago now. I feel like that was the first time where I was really vulnerable with friends#And I had never been so honest about my interests and thoughts before with a group of people and it. It was nice. But after that day it...#I think it was all my fault. Or at least mostly my fault. I was honest with them but no one else#So I couldn't accept the truth of myself and I wasn't ready for everyone i know to know me that way so I tried to hide it and ignore it#And in doing so I stopped being honest with them and I started avoiding them. And I regret it. I could have just been a weirdo with them#I could have spent every tuesday afternoon hanging out and talking about life with them over pizza. But instead I ran away.#And of course they kept asking about me and wondering why I was being weird but I couldn't face it. And I kept running away#And they kept trying to chase after me. I even left for like two months and completely went no contact and no explanation#But then I came back because I had nowhere else to go and it... it was so awkward. It was too much. And now I'm overthinking#everything. I was so jealous of them. All of them. And when I got to be friend with them it was too much for me. My brain couldn't accept i#I'm not allowed to be happy unless it's in secret. That's what my brain thinks#That's the mantra I've been living by recently. For like the past 3-5 years. That's just how I was raised I suppose#Um. Oops I ranted too much in the tags. Sorry if you read all of this. But also thank you if you did. I hope you're well#Rant in tags#rant#personal#Why is this literally just my journal. Goodness gracious#I'm so sorry. Everything I post here is like completely dumb and irrelevant and stupid and pointless and matters very little.#I am just mentally unwell and I can barely think clearly. I am sorry. I hope you look elsewhere for actually important or meaningful words#Dang I just had a dramatic soundtrack melody start playing in my head but I have no idea where this song is from or what it's called. Damn
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