#so I had to rely on drawing stick figures and figuring it out from there

[ravenpoefan]

I miss drawing them

[not-neverland06]

How About a Nuke?

Part VIII / Part IX

(Completed) Series Masterlist

Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The ghoul x fem!reader A/N: PLEASE READ, we have reached the end of their journey and I am so sad/happy/excited about it. I don’t even know how to feel honestly. I just want to thank everyone who has commented, messaged or reblogged this story. Your kind words and funny little depressed memes have been really uplifting for me. I was actually considering just giving up on this blog when I posted the first chapter. I haven’t had much inspiration lately or interaction I feel like, and you all have helped reignite that spark within me. Summary: There’s something keeping you tied to Cooper Howard, an invisible string wrapped around you both. You’ve fought against it as long as you could but he’s not gonna let you fight for much longer.

It’s been a month and the bounty on her head gets bigger everyday. Normally the compound hires privately, they don’t like going through the agencies. He figures with Sylvie dead they’re struggling to find a new leader and they’re falling apart. Or they’re just desperate for her head on a stick. 

He sees her face everywhere, crudely drawn images of her varying in their accuracy. In some she has a hat like his on, in others her nose is the wrong shape, or her eyes are all wrong. No one seems to have a good grasp on who she is. Out of curiosity and a strange need to know she’s still alive, he’s asked around. 

There are different rumors as to where she’s hiding out. Some think she’s taken to hiding out in the caves near Filly. Anyone with half a brain knows that the area’s overrun by irradiated bears and other mutated freaks. 

There are those that say they’ve seen her wandering through the sands. Following that lead had led him nowhere. He doesn’t know where she is and it’s driving him insane. She’s like a constant itch in the back of his mind that he just can’t scratch. Days and nights are spent thinking about her and he hates it. 

He’s not sure what he’d do when he does find her. Whether he’d shoot her to repay the favor or just tie her up to keep her from leaving again. He’s conflicted on how he feels about her. He’s bothered that he feels anything towards her at all. And he knows that when she shot him, she was shooting to kill. 

She had no way of knowing that he would heal from that bullet. She’d watched him bleed out on the ground and left him for dead. He was impressed, as much as he wanted to be mad, he was almost proud in a way. 

Throughout their tumultuous lives and times together she’d always had to be guided by him. He’d shown her the ways of whatever world they were living in. She’d relied on him and he enjoyed it. The time had to come when eventually she wouldn’t need him anymore. 

It’s outside of Filly that he finds the most accurate poster of her so far. She looks like she did in their first movie together. A proper outlaw, wanted all across the Wastelands for her crimes against a bunch of sick fucks. If he could kill Sylvie again, he would. He’d kill all of them. 

Not that he’s condemning them because of what the compound’s doing. He’s dabbled in organ trade before, eaten people, he’s done a lot of fucked up shit. But he draws the line at trying to hurt her. He’s the only one who should be allowed to fuck with her.

He takes the poster down and whistles softly at the price under her name. It’s enough to keep him happy for a longtime. If he never wanted to take on another bounty he wouldn’t have to. Course, he was never in this for the money. A man’s gotta have something to entertain himself with at the end of the world. 

He wonders if she’s even still alive. Maybe a Deathclaw got her a day after she left him behind. He could have walked past her corpse and never even known it. He folds the poster up and slips it in his bag. He doesn’t know why he bothers keeping it. Possibly because it’s the closest thing to her that he’s got, but he doesn’t feel like lingering on that thought for long. 

He tugs his hat lower on his head and heads through the tunnel leading to Filly. He’s caused a lot of issues here over the years. Usually he kills most of the people who could identify him as an instigator, but he doesn’t feel like pushing his luck today. He needs more supplies and he knows Ma June won’t sell to him if he causes a fight beforehand. 

It’s louder than normal today, more people rushing around. They’re all congregating around something in the center of the marketplace. He turns to the left, heading up the stairs to try and get a better look at what’s got everyone so excited. 

“They found her!” A boy shouts, fidgeting in his spot next to him. He glances at him from under his hat and the boy pales before scurrying away from him. His lips turn up in a cruel grin and he finally gets a good look at what’s happening. 

She’s kneeling in the middle of the marketplace, two Knights on either side of her. He’s more surprised by the fact that she actually has picked up a hat in her time away from him. 

She seems to be playing into the outlaw routine more than he thought she would. 

You’re embarrassed, honestly, that you let these two idiots capture you. Them and their useless little squires. 

You’ve found odd jobs through the Brotherhood when they need assistance looking for relics of the old world. Though, you’re really not sure how much use a toaster oven can be to them, but they pay good money for it. 

Once your bounty was posted and they figured out who you were, though, that stopped being useful. You can’t even hunt bounties because the agencies would just grab you and turn you over to the compound.

They clearly didn’t give a shit about women, you don’t get why they’re making this whole Sylvie situation such a big deal. 

You had to bribe Ma June by buying some of her junk, but eventually she’d helped you find some work in Filly. The people here are stupid enough that they don’t recognize you when they see you. Most of them are high or drunk so the only thing you have to worry about is wandering hands and not stepping in the middle of their brawls. 

From the patrons of the bar you hear stories about yourself. How you slaughtered the entire compound, even the children, which is so far from the truth you can’t help but scoff. Or how you apparently slept with a ghoul and you're carrying his mutant baby. 

You don’t even know where they got that one from. 

They also seem to think you wander through the sands, shooting anyone who gets in your way. It’s a comfort that no one seems to have caught onto you yet. But it’s also disheartening to know that all that’s left of civilization is a bunch of psychopathic idiots. 

What happened to natural selection?

You know your stint in Filly is up when two Knights walk in, their squires struggling to carry their bags behind them. You pull your hat further over your head and duck behind the bar. You try to keep your back to them and let the old man, Marley, who runs the bar deal with them. 

His shaky voice is cautious as he greets them, “What are Knights doing so far out here?”

One of their distorted voices rings out through the, now quiet, bar. “We got bored. Wanted to shoot some shit.”

You roll your eyes and focus on cleaning the cup in front of you. You spit into it, not enough water to properly clean it, and scrub at it with a stained towel. Marley hums, clearly displeased with the answer. You can hear his tottering steps approaching you and wince, praying he’s not going to do what you think he is. 

He tugs on your shirt with a shaky hand and you slump forward in defeat. “Deal with these jackasses,” he mutters, taking drinks over to a different table. 

You pour the only alcohol the bar has into two cups and keep your head down as you approach. “Heard that a woman took over for Knight Damien.”

One of them scoffs and shakes his armored head, “What the fuck is this world coming to?” You don’t know how they’re planning on drinking their liquor with the helmets on but you’re not going to ask stupid questions. You drop the cups in front of them, but your hand slips and one of them tips over into a Knight’s lap. 

“I’ve got it, sire.” Their squire lunges forward and begins vigorously scrubbing their armor. Your face curls up in distaste and you’re about to walk away when a metal hand grips your wrist. 

“Holy shit, it’s her!” Oh, you’re so screwed. 

They’ve got a fucking leash on you, it’s humiliating. The scarred and dirt-covered faces of the citizens of Filly surround you. They’re all leering, shouting at you and begging the Knight’s to share in the bounty. But the Knight’s aren’t listening, they’re just congratulating each other. 

“What do you think they’ll give us?”

One of them shoves their squire and he goes toppling into his large bag, feet flailing in the air. “Hopefully better fucking squires. I’m getting sick of this one’s stupid face.” 

The squire kneels down and shouts in a shaking voice, “I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, sire!” God, you really hate these people. You wished they would just shoot you. Having to sit here and listen to them talk was making your brain go numb. 

The Knight’s distorted laugh rings out through his helmet. The other one glances over at you, “What do you think she did? I’ve never seen the compound this pissed off.”

“I dunno. Hey!” You know he’s talking to you, that they want an answer, you really don’t care to give them one. “What’d you do?” They stare at you for a moment and then he sighs when you don’t respond. He shoves his squire towards you and the kid goes stumbling over his feet. “Make her talk.”

He nods rapidly, head bobbing up and down. “Of course, sire.” Your hands twitch to your side and you give him a wicked grin as he approaches. 

He’s debating going down there and trying to help her when the first shot goes off. He doesn’t even see it happen, he just watches as one of the squires drops to the ground. 

Those who don’t want to get caught in the crossfire are quick to move away from the area, hiding in their shops or shoving past him to get through the tunnel. He heads down the stairs, taking his time and trying to figure out where the shot came from. 

The second squire moves towards her and his head flies back, a hole between his eyes and his brains splattering across the ground. One Knight shoves the other one and points at their dead squire’s, “Did you not take her fucking gun?”

He’s been in those suits. He remembers how it felt, the power you get from being in them. How they make you feel like a big man. He also remembers how fucking slow they could be. She’s on her feet and running for cover before they can even start to grab her. 

She dives behind a stall and tugs a knife out of her boot, sawing at the ropes around her wrists. He can’t reach her before the fighting starts. Someone in the remaining crowd shouts, “Grab her! Get the bounty!” And all hell breaks loose. 

Someone runs at him and he shoots them before they can grab him. Shots start going off, the Knight’s mowing down anyone who tries to swoop in on their bounty. Everyone else is shooting blindly, just trying to get rid of the competition so they can claim her bounty as their own. 

He ducks under the hail fire and slides next to her as she’s reloading her gun. She glances over at him and frowns, “Didn’t I kill you?”

He hears a shout and watches as some half-feral woman charges at them. She shoots her dead and turns back to him. He gives her a wry smile, “You want to do this now, sweetheart?”

She peers over her cover and surveys the chaos going on around them. She sighs and glances back at him, “Why aren’t you dead?” 

He tugs one of his specially made bullets out of his bag and loads it into his gun. He lifts himself to his knees and aims at the weak spot on the Knight’s chest plate. They both watch as blood explodes out of the neck of the power armor, the Knight’s friend cussing as he watches him die. 

“Next time,” she turns to look at him, “aim for the head,” he instructs. She glares at him before making her way to Ma June’s shop. He follows, not willing to let her out of his sight again, and she ducks behind the barrels of supplies in front of the shop. 

“Clearly,” she winces as the Knight’s gun starts firing off again, “I’m not making it out of here on my own.” They dive to the side as bullets rip through the barrels they’re leaning against. They’re not gonna have cover for much longer.

He grins at her, “Sounds like you’re asking me for a favor, darling.”

The sounds of screams and bodies dropping is nearly deafening. A few feet away a bullet catches a man in the throat and he drops to the ground. They watch as he chokes on his blood and tries to claw his way to safety. Steps rapidly approach them and she turns to shoot a different man, his body dropping an inch away from them. 

He turns back to her and his lips turn down, “After you tried to kill me? You want my help,” he laughs at her and she glares. 

Before she can speak a voice rings out above them, “I got her!” He shoots at the woman on the upper level above them, half of her leg gets blown off and she tumbles over the railing, narrowly missing the pair. 

He turns back to her, “You’re asking a lot, darling.”

“You’ve fucking shot me, twice. I’m not asking you for anything.” Her lips turn down in a sneer and she looks at him like the very sight of him disgusts her. “I don't need your help. I don't need you.” She glances back over her shoulder, surveying the gore and the bullets flying around them. She checks her gun and he sees just how little ammo she has left. “I’ll handle this myself.” She snaps the chamber of her gun closed and moves to get up. He grabs her wrist and yanks her back down, ignoring the angry expression on her face. 

“Look, you might not want my help, but you need it, sweetheart. Just stay here.” 

You watch as Cooper runs off, his guns firing before he’s even fully standing. You only wait a second before you’re running into Ma June’s and out her back door. She shouts at you as you barrel through her shop, knocking over her displays and shelves, but you can’t waste any time getting the hell out of dodge. 

You’re surprised Cooper was stupid enough to think you would actually wait for him. The Knight’s had called for an air evac out of Filly and if you stay there any longer you’ll be back in the compound before you can blink. 

You’ve spent a month evading them, you’re not about to let yourself get caught because of Cooper. 

You can’t believe he’s not dead. It’s not like you’ve been losing sleep over killing him, but it’s been hard to cope with the fact that you killed the man that was once the love of your life. Seeing him again, though, you wished you had shot him in his smug face. 

You’d forgotten, in the time apart, just how condescending he could be. He seemed to think you needed him to survive. You didn’t. 

At best, he provided the comfort of company. Poorly. 

Despite how much he undervalued you, you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. You didn’t need him to save you. You would have figured your way out of there on your own, eventually. You’ve handled yourself a month in the Wastelands without him. You learned how to carve an existence for yourself out here and you did it without help. 

You race into the woods beyond Filly, putting as much distance between you and the sounds of fighting as quickly as you can. The trees around you begin to shake, the ground vibrating and a swirl of dirt and leaves rises into the air and whips you in the face. 

You look up and begin pushing yourself faster. One of the Brotherhood’s Vertibird’s is circling Filly. “This is not a hostile landing! Please remain calm!” You blame your distraction on the announcement. 

You would have heard him coming up behind you if you hadn’t been listening to whatever the Brotherhood was saying. Rope loops around your arms and you’re yanked backwards. Your head thumps painfully hard against the forest floor, rocks scraping you as you’re dragged across the ground. 

Cooper’s face appears over yours, a cruel smile on his lips. “Now, this seems awfully familiar.” He walks around you, boots straddling your waist and grabs you by the front of your shirt, yanking you back to your feet. “I thought I told you to stay put, sweetheart.”

You frown at him, shoving your leg up between his. He groans, doubling over while you shimmy out of the loose rope. “Honestly, after all the shit that’s happened you think I’m gonna listen to anything you say?” You step back from him, brushing the dirt off your clothes as best you can. 

You sigh in frustration when you realize that when the Knight’s had grabbed you, you’d lost your supplies. Cooper looks up at you and scoffs, “Missing something?” You eye his bag on the ground and start to go for it. He pulls the hammer of his gun back and you glance towards him. You’d forgotten what a quick draw he could be.

He’s fully recovered now, eyes narrowed in on you and gun pointed right at your chest. “See, a bullet to the chest might not kill me, but I reckon it’ll do a hell of a lot of damage to you. Why don’t you back up for me, sweetheart?”

You let go of his bag and slowly back away from him. He keeps his gun trained on you and stoops down, throwing his bag back over his shoulder. Your eyes dart to the hat on his head and your lips curl up when you spot the hole you’d put in it. 

Two hundred years and he’s kept that hat nearly pristine, you take no small amount of pride in being the one to ruin it. 

“The Brotherhood will be swarming these woods in a few minutes. They’re not gonna be too happy about one of their Knight’s being dead. Come with me, I can help you out.”

You scoff, “Like I’ll ever trust you again. You’ve shot me, sold me, and left me for dead, Cooper.”

He huffs, eyes narrowing and lips curled in a sardonic grin. You can tell he’s getting pissed off. “The choice is yours,” he tucks his gun back in his holster and turns on his heels. You watch in surprise as he stalks away from you. You had fully expected him to put up more of a fight, it almost hurts that he left so easily again. 

Then you hear the sounds of orders being shouted behind you. Metal creaking and stomping through the underbrush and you realize he hadn’t left but forced you between a rock and a hard place. You could follow him or let yourself get captured by the Brotherhood. 

“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You risk a glance over your shoulder and spot a rapidly approaching party of squires. You run in the direction Cooper went and find him leaning casually against a tree, a satisfied look on his face when he spots you. “Don’t say a word,” you warn, shoving past him. 

He glances at her from across the fire and finds himself feeling almost at ease for the first time in a month. It’s been a while since he’s looked up to actually find her staring back at him. She might look like she wants to kill him, but she’s here. 

“You have to admit, we make a pretty good team, darling.”

She gives him an unimpressed look, “Yeah, Cooper, we’re so great at murdering people.” She looks over to the dead bodies of the raiders they’d stolen this camp from and shakes her head. “I forgot how much death you surround yourself with.”

“I surround myself with? Might I remind you, you fired the first shot, sweetheart.” Granted, he had shoved her out of her hiding spot and given her no choice about it. 

Her head shoots up and she glares at him, “You made me!” She opens her mouth and he grins. He enjoys provoking her like this. Even if the last time he had she’d shot him because of it, but it’s fun to rile her up. She always gets so pissed off, it entertains him to no end. 

To his disappointment, she closes her mouth and shakes her head, choosing not to engage with him. He sighs and rips off a piece of jerky. “When did you turn into such a wet fucking blanket?”

Her eyes flare with anger, despite that, he can hear how hurt she really is. “Maybe when you sold me!”

He tilts his head and runs his tongue over his teeth, “You ever gonna let that go? I told you it was a mistake. How was I supposed to know they were gonna breed you like a prize pig?”

She scoffs, the noise high pitched and shocked. She shakes her head and stares at him with wide eyes, “You are unbelievable.” He shrugs and takes a swig from the flask he’d stolen off one of the raiders. He’s not sure how they make their alcohol, or if they trade for it, but it’s fucking disgusting. He frowns at the flask and drains the rest of it before tossing it into the woods behind him. 

She sighs and runs a hand over her face, her voice tired as she asks, “What’s the plan here, Cooper?” 

He picks at his teeth and shakes his head, “With what?”

She leans against the log behind her and gestures at herself. “With me. What, are you going to wait for me to pass out so you can tie me up and send me back to the compound? I’ve seen the price on my head. I know how valuable I am to everyone in the Wastelands.”

He doesn’t know why what she’s saying bothers him so much but it does. “You really think I’d send you back there?”

Her face is devoid of anything as she responds, “Why wouldn’t you?”

It’s the bluntness with which she asks that, that bugs him. Like there’s no other possibility but him betraying her. Taking advantage of her while she was vulnerable and weak and then handing her over to the people who want her dead. He wouldn’t do that to her. 

He didn’t go through all this fucking trouble to find her just to lose her again. He wants to tell her as much but she’s on her feet and grabbing her bag before he can. “Look, I appreciate the help today, but I’m not interested in starting this partnership back up again. I think it’s better if we just part ways.”

He whips his gun out before he can think about what he’s doing. She freezes, still bent over and eyes his gun warily. “I’m afraid that’s not an option, darling.” He can’t let her leave again. And maybe this isn’t the best way to go about it, but he doesn’t know how else to stop her. 

“You gonna shoot me, Cooper?” She whispers, her own hand twitching for the revolver at her side. He stands up and grabs her wrists, ignoring the way she struggles against him. He binds her hands with his rope and he sits back down, 

“I’m not gonna turn you in and I’m not gonna shoot you. But you’re not getting out of here that easy, sweetheart.”

Her eyes narrow in on his, her fists clenched tightly in anger. “I killed two men with my hands bound today. What’s stopping me from killing you?”

He shrugs, “Nothing. There’s nothing stopping you, just like there’s nothing stopping me. But I’m not killing you, am I? See,” he leans forward, “I’ve fought too hard and spent too much time looking after you to just let you go now. We’re in this together, whether you want it or not.”

Her lips split in a sneer and she throws herself down on the log. “You’re all the fucking same. You treat me like a goddamn dog that needs to be beat into submission. I’m not some misbehaving pet, Cooper!” Her eyes well up and her voice breaks, “You don’t get to just leash me and expect me to be okay with it.”

“I’m under no illusions that you’re happy here, sweetheart.” He runs a hand down his face and she shakes her head in disbelief. 

“Then just let me go,” she’s bordering on begging now and his chest squeezes the longer she stares at him with those pleading eyes of hers. It’s not something he’s familiar with, this feeling, this longing for her to just shut the fuck up and stop making this so damn difficult for him. 

“I can’t,” he mutters, wanting her to just drop it. 

“Why not?” She snaps, dropping any pretenses of trying to get him to sympathize with her.

He surges forward and grabs her by the jaw. Her eyes widen in shock and he smashes their lips together, teeth clashing painfully. There’s nothing gentle or sweet about this kiss. Her teeth are ripping into his scarred lips until the taste of copper is spreading on his tongue. He groans, digging his fingers into her cheeks until her lips part. 

His tongue probes against hers, the taste of his blood spreading into her mouth as well. She whimpers, the noise stirring something in him he’d forgotten about. There’s an old desire bubbling in him that’s making him blind to the rest of the world. He wants her, more than he ever wants to admit. 

He’s wanted her for a long time before this and they both know it. How hard he’s fought against it, against moments like these. He didn’t think he was still capable of this feeling, this desire for her. But it’s consuming. She’s ruining him, running him in circles until he thinks he’s going insane. 

But it’s not the same gentle passion it once was. It’s as twisted as he’s become. The desire to possess, consume, covet until she’s his and only his to do with what he wants. His teeth dig into her, letting her blood overcome the taste of his own. He groans, his free hand grabbing her waist and yanking her closer. 

She tastes so much sweeter than he does, he wants to rip a chunk of her off and eat her whole. He’s so distracted he doesn't even notice her pulling out her gun until he’s shooting back from her. He lands roughly on the forest floor and groans, hands clutched over the bleeding hole in his gut. Pain radiates through his abdomen and he rolls onto his side.

He looks up at her in shock. She’s spitting their blood onto the ground, her bound hands wiping at her lips. “Asshole,” she mutters. She tucks her gun back in her holster and looks over at him. 

His eyes are wide in disbelief as he struggles to sit back up. The movement causes another wave of pain and he hisses through gritted teeth, “You shot me!”

She rolls her eyes and gives him a blank look, “You’ll live.” He limps back to his own seat and lifts his shirt, watching as the hole closes over slowly and the blood stops leaking. She watches as he heals and sighs, “Unfortunately.” He tugs it back down and sighs at the state of his shirt. 

“My shirt won’t.” He digs a finger into the hole and tugs on it, watching as it rips wider. Two hundred years he’s kept these clothes, she ruins them in a month. Un-fucking-believable. 

“Sew it,” she gripes, still wiping at her mouth. “I can’t believe you just fucking kissed me,” she frowns and spits again, bits of crimson lingering on her lips. 

He sighs and leans back against the tree. “Felt right in the moment.” It did, he wants to do it again. They’re even now, they’ve both shot each other twice. No reason for her to shoot again. 

He wants to feel the way she shivers against him and moans into his mouth. She can be pissed all she wants but she kissed back, she can’t deny that. He’s sure if she wasn’t tied up she’d be a bit more receptive to him. Or maybe she just needs time to cool off after the whole compound incident, a month seems like a reasonable amount of time. Then again, women are so damn unreasonable. 

She tugs a knife out of her boot and positions it between her knees. She places it between her wrists and saws at the rope until it falls free. She slides the knife back in her boot and tosses the ruined rope at him. 

He catches it with a sigh and glances up at her. “Why didn’t you do that earlier?”

Her eyes are alight with a challenge, “I wanted to see if you would let me go yourself.” Well, clearly, he had failed her little test. “I wanted to see if there was even a possibility I could ever trust you again.”

He gives her an unimpressed look, slightly pissed off about his shirt. He never should have taught her how to shoot. If he’d known it would come back to bite him in the ass he wouldn’t have. “And?”

She gives him a disbelieving look and shakes her head. “And instead of letting me go, you kissed me.“ She throws her hands up in astonishment and glares at him. “Why the hell would you think that was a good idea?”

He smirks and revels in the way she shivers at the sight. “Well, darling, I’ve always been better with actions not words.”

“Yeah,” her voice is a challenge, eyes hard and jaw clenched tightly in frustration. He loves the sight of her all riled up. He loves it even more knowing he’s the one getting her like this. “What were you trying to tell me with that little display?”

He doesn’t answer her question, not wanting to just yet. “You liked it, didn’t you?” Her mouth snaps shut and she looks away from him. He laughs, leaning back and giving her a smug look. “You can be pissed off at me as much as you want, sweetheart,” the nickname rolls off his tongue like a taunt and she sneers at him. “But you want me just the same as you used to.”

“Do you like hurting me? Is that why you keep me around? You’ve been alone for two hundred years, Cooper. And for the majority of them you’ve harbored this hatred for me because you thought I had abandoned you just like everyone else.” 

Her words strike a place deep inside him that has him on edge. She knows what she’s doing. He’s forgotten, in his time with her, that in the same way he can get under her skin, she can do it too. She knows him just as well, she’s just always been the better half of their duo. She never feels the need to stoop to the level he does. But she’s doing it now and it feels like a kick in the teeth. 

“And I’m the only one that’s actually stuck by you.” She laughs, but there’s an underlying pain to it. She looks away from him and wipes at her cheeks and his fists clench within his gloves. “Is this your revenge? You think by torturing me you get back at everyone whose ever fucked you over. I’m sick of it, Cooper. I’m not gonna let you use me anymore.”

“I feel for you,” he forces the words out. He doesn’t want to tell her this. He shouldn’t have to tell her this. She should just stick with him, it’s what they’d always done, it’s how it always should be. Them, together. But she’s fighting against that, against him, so much that he doesn’t have a choice. 

She’s backed him into a corner he doesn’t know how to get out of. “In a way I haven’t in a very long time. I can’t let you go. Don’t you get that, sweetheart? We’re in this together.”

She shakes her head and he sighs. “No,” she looks at him and just shakes her head again. “No, you don’t love me, Cooper, or you don’t want me at least. I’m not the same girl I was, that’s what you’re after. That idea in your head, of us together, that’s who I was. You were right, the Wastelands changes you. I can’t be her for you and I don’t want to be.”

He chuckles and she shrinks away from the sound in suspicion. “Newsflash, darling, I’m not the same man. I loved you a long time ago, sweetheart, but I’m not capable of that anymore. Not for the girl you were, anyway.”

She nodded, her arms wrapped around herself. She looked like she accepted the answer, but he could see beyond that, could see that she thought he was rejecting her. It hurt, she could hate him as much as she wanted, but that still hurt her. “Good,” she muttered, “she’s gone.”

“Well, good.” She shrank further into herself and he grinned.  “You. You as you are now. That’s what I want. I don’t give a shit about who we were, the only person I’ve wanted since I’ve been out here has been you. You’re the only person I’ve met who can actually keep up with me. I don’t give a shit if anyone in this godforsaken Wasteland lives or dies, but I give a shit about you. You’re also the only one who can knock me on my ass.”

Her eyes darted to the hole in his shirt and a small grin came over her lips. “Haven’t been shot a lot, have you, cowboy?”

“No,” he chuckles again and grins at her, “I haven’t. Though, I am still pretty pissed about the hole in my hat.”

Her tone loses a bit of her playfulness and she glares at him, “You more than earned that.”

He acquiesces and holds up his hands in surrender, “Maybe.” She scoffs at that and rolls her eyes. “But I think we’re even now.”

“Barely,” she mutters, rubbing at the bruises on her wrists. She glances up at him and sighs, a surrender in her eyes. “But, it’s close enough now.”

He stands up and she eyes him warily as he throws himself down on the log next to her. He holds out a hand, “What do you say, darling, partners?”

She sighs and stares at his hand for a long time. He doesn’t mind, he leaves it there, hovering between them. He knows she’ll take it. “Deny it as much as you want but this is how it’s meant to be. You can keep fighting it or save us both some time.”

She reaches forward and tentatively wraps a hand around his, she uses it to yank him forward, their faces separated by an inch. “Shoot me again,” she whispers, “and I won’t miss the next time I knock you on your ass.”

“Oh shit,” you jump at the kickback on the rifle and nearly drop it to the ground. Cooper laughs and reaches around you, taking it from you. 

“Maybe I should have started you off with something with a little less kick to it.” He props the rifle against the tree and glances over to the cans you’d been shooting at. Well, you’d gotten one out of five at least. 

In all fairness this was the first time you’d ever handled a gun, you’re sure you’re doing fine for a beginner. He sucks on his teeth and looks at your targets. The serious look on his face cracks and he’s clearly trying to fight off laughing. 

You shove at his shoulder, smiling, “Shut up. I’ve never used one of these things before.”

He picks the rifle back up and starts laughing now, “You mean a gun?” 

You throw your arms in the air in defeat and slump into the patio chairs he’s dragged to the back of the cabin. “This is pointless, anyway.” He cocks the rifle and lifts it up to aim properly. In quick succession he knocks the remaining four cans off the fence. You roll your eyes at him, “Show off.”

He smiles and takes a seat next to you. You remain silent for a while, gazing across the yard and to the towering mountains across from his cabin. You appreciate him inviting you here. When you’d told him how overwhelmed you’d been feeling with all the new publicity you hadn’t expected him to drag you all the way out to his mountain home. 

You wouldn’t have accepted if you’d known it was just going to be you and him. You’d thought he was bringing his wife and kid, too. Spending a long weekend playing house with Cooper wasn’t going to do anything in getting rid of your crush. It was just getting worse the longer you were around him.

Waking up everyday and having him be the first person to greet you was going to send you into an early grave. You swear your heart’s never beat this fast around anyone else. He seems to be the only man who's ever had you feeling this head over heels. 

“I think it’s important you learn.”

You glance over at him, surprised at how serious he sounds. He’s still staring out at the mountains, but his gaze is distant. His mind is some place else. “Why?” You ask, voice quiet, afraid to spoil the moment.

He finally blinks, gaze darting down to his hands and the rifle still in them. “It’s easy for people to dismiss the war nowadays. They weren’t there, they didn’t watch as hundreds of good men and women died for them.” You frown, sometimes it’s easy to forget that he’d been fighting on the frontlines. He’s so good at being a socialite, you feel guilty that even you sometimes forget he was a soldier before he was Cooper Howard. 

His voice is heavy, the tension thick around the both of you. “They seem to think the war is over. I know it’s not, it’s just going to get worse. People can bury their heads in the sand as long as they want, but when the fighting is at their front door, what are they going to do?”

You reach out, hand covering his own. He finally looks up at you and you smile. “I appreciate it, Cooper.”

His eyes quickly look at your hand before looking back at you. “For what?”

You shrug, moving closer to him and lacing your fingers with his. You shouldn’t indulge yourself like this, but you can’t help it. He seems so sad and you only want to make him feel better. You just want to take care of him, the way he takes care of you. 

“For always looking out for me. You’re always there, I appreciate it. I appreciate you.”

The sad cast over his face finally breaks and he smiles at you. His hand squeezes yours once, then again and he looks back out at the mountains without saying anything else. You don’t think he needs to, that either of you needs to. Sometimes you understand each other better without words. 

You’ll always be there for one another.

You eye him warily and he holds the jerky out further. “Aren’t you a little curious?” He taunts, waving the jerky around in front of your face. You know he thinks you won’t take it. That he’s just screwing with you. He’s been doing this ever since you agreed to tag along with him. Teasing you at every given opportunity. 

You snatch it from his hands and rip a piece of it off. It kind of tastes like beef, if not a little sweeter. There’s also that metallic radiated tang to it. You chew it slowly, savoring the slightly caught off guard look on his face. You swallow it down, forcing your face to stay straight and not give away how disgusted you feel right now. 

He chuckles, leaning back and looking at you with something that seems like appreciation. “I hope you know that was ass jerky.”

You gag now, glaring at him and tossing the rest of the jerky at his smug face. “You’re such a dick.” You take a swig from your canteen and swirl the water around your mouth. It gets rid of the taste well enough but you’re never going to get over the fact that you swallowed a part of someone’s ass. 

He suddenly gets serious, swatting at your arm and motioning to the front of the store. You crouch beside him, watching as a raider walks out of the front doors. You don’t get why they chose an old movie store for their hideout, but Cooper had it on good authority that they had a decent cache of supplies inside. 

The last time you’d followed him into one of these things, you’d nearly died, and then he’d sold you. You’re still not fully trusting of him. The only reason you’re with him now is because you need extra security from bounty hunters after getting booted out of Filly. 

If he wasn’t such a good shot, you would have never given him a second glance. Despite how much he insists the compound was an honest mistake, you find the trust slow to come. You’ll let him take the lead on this one, you’re not confident in him having your back if things take a turn. 

He moves forward and you hang back, keeping watch while he slits the guard’s throat. He lowers the body quietly to the ground and you creep behind him, following him through the doors of the store. 

This group is smaller than the last one you dealt with. Only five of them with no extra guards outside. Cooper ducks behind a dust covered shelf before they can spot either of you. You go to the other side of the store, moving slowly along the edge until you have a good shot. 

You take out one man and Cooper manages to hit two more before they start firing off their own guns. You dart back behind the shelf, willing to let Cooper handle the last two. But one of them dives behind the shelf and grabs at you. 

Another shot goes off and his friend’s body hits the ground while he rounds the corner with you. He’s got an arm wrapped around your throat and the barrel of his gun pushing so hard into your skull you can feel an indent forming. 

It wouldn’t be hard to shoot this guy, you still have your gun in your hand. Cooper seems to realize that, too, from the questioning look he gives you. You drop your gun to the floor, you want to see what he’ll do. 

Maybe you’re stupid, gambling with your life like this. But you don’t feel any fear, not from the guy holding you hostage at least. You just keep your eyes locked on Cooper’s. They’re so familiar to you, yet so distant. Like a stranger you’ve known all your life. 

He slowly rises from the floor, hands raised in the air in surrender. “Alright, let’s just see if we can’t talk this out like gentlemen.”

The guy holding you jerks you roughly, gun banging painfully against your temple. You wince but remain quiet. “Stay back or I’ll blow her goddamn brains out!”

Cooper’s eyes dart from your face to the guy. He huffs, frowning and pursing his lips like he’s trying to think of a way to talk himself out of this. He could leave, he’s got enough time to make it through the door before he fires at him. 

Or he could help you. 

It’s the only reason you let yourself get caught. If he wants your trust he’s going to have to prove it. Cooper looks at you and a grin splits across his face. It’s like he’s read your mind, from the knowing look on his face you think he might’ve. 

Then again, you never really needed words to talk to each other. 

With a speed that never fails to catch you off guard his hand darts under his jacket and he draws his gun. He’s shooting the man before you even get a chance to brace yourself. Your body gets dragged back slightly by the dead weight but Cooper moves forward and wraps a hand around your shirt, tugging you into him. 

Your hands shoot out, bracing yourself against his chest. He peers at you from under his hat and grins, “You didn’t really think I was gonna let you go that easy did you, darling?” Your eyes dart down to his lips, you feel like you can still taste him. 

The timing of his kiss might not have been appropriate, but he certainly hadn’t made it forgettable. Nothing about him was forgettable. As much as you wished he could be. You hated yourself for still letting yourself fall into his trap. 

Hollywood might have once labeled you as the most seductive actress of your generation, but Cooper had you beat. He kept you coming back even when you knew you shouldn’t. He had you wrapped around him and all you wanted to do was squeeze until he let you go. 

You push off of him, ignoring how much you want to pull him closer. You move towards their pile of supplies, “Let’s see what we’ve got.”

There are a few different posters set up in the old movie store that intrigue him. But the one that’s caught his attention the most is set up directly behind her. Her back is to it, so she hasn’t gotten a chance to see it yet, but it’s all he can focus on. 

The Outlaw and The Sheriff

Their first movie together. 

He looks at her and huffs out a laugh, she glances up at him for a moment before she begins rifling through her bag again. She looks like she walked right off the fucking poster, hat and all. She’s the spitting image of herself, but she seems so different. 

Maybe it’s the eyes. The light there has changed, dimmed slightly from how it used to be. She used to seem so naive to the world, like a little lamb that just needed some guidance. Now, he wonders just how much of the world she’d seen before he found her. If maybe she had never been as innocent to it’s cruelties as he’d once assumed. 

She stepped into this new role of hers just as quickly as he had. You didn’t just change that quickly without knowing already just how awful people could be. 

“Sweetheart,” she looks up and he points behind her. She turns around and looks up to the poster.

She scoffs, moving to stand beside him, “I always hated how I looked in that.”

He glances over at her and shakes his head, “Probably shouldn’t show you a mirror anytime soon, then.” Her hands reach up to fiddle with the brim of her hat and she smiles, a real smile for once. 

“No, I suppose not.” Her hands trace over her lips, he glances back at the poster. At that old signature of hers. She always had to have those red lips. “It’s so different,” she whispers and he knows she didn’t mean for him to hear. Her eyes glisten and he frowns. 

He shouldn’t have shown her. It’s not like he enjoyed seeing those fucking Vault-Boy posters, he sure as hell hated seeing clips of himself. Why would she enjoy seeing who she used to be? Who they used to be?

Things used to be so simple. He loved her, she loved him. Now he’d fucked up so much he wasn’t sure she could ever look at him the way she used to. He didn’t want who she was before, he couldn’t handle that. This new her, well, he didn’t give her near enough credit. 

But he wouldn’t hate seeing someone look at him like that again. Endless adoration and unflinching loyalty. He knew he would follow her anywhere, he’d realized that a while ago. He didn’t have anything in the Wastelands, nothing but hate and spite to keep him going all this time.

Now, he had her. He just needed her to realize that she had him just the same. She had him wrapped around her and he hated it and loved it at the same time. Hated her and loved her for it all the same. 

He tugs his glove off before he reaches for her. He cups her cheek, thumb tracing over her lips before she turns towards him. His eyes meet hers and he smiles slightly at the familiarity and mystery to them. So much of her he recognizes and then there are these new parts he’s yet to discover. 

He wants to discover all of her. Learn everything he can about her all over again, feed his desire to consume her entirely. 

She pulls him in this time, her lips chapped and cracked. Her arms wind around his neck, yanking him closer and he tugs at her. She tastes as sweet as he remembers and it only makes him crave more. More of her, more of anything she’ll let him have. 

She pulls back from him, pressing her hand against his chest, slowly backing him against the wall. He lets her ease him to the floor and she throws a leg over his lap. She settles herself above him, both her hands tightly grasping his neck, crushing their bodies together, eyes gazing intently into his own. He doesn’t know what she’s looking for in him but she seems to find it when she leans in once more. 

She isn’t giving him a chance at control, she’s got a leash on him, pulling back anytime he tries to lead. He relents, following her as she slowly explores him. 

He’s not sure how long this peace between them will last before one of them inevitably fucks up. But they’re stuck together now. It doesn’t matter what happens, he’s not letting her get away from him again. 

She’s his, always has been, always will be. It’s been that way since before the fallout. He’s led her, guided her.

He had loved her as a different man. History always seems to repeat itself with them. As twisted as the world is, as twisted as they’ve become, they always seem to drift back together. No matter how much the both of them fight against it. 

He’s giving in now, giving into her. 

end. — I do not own the characters or the game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[cdlum]

I just wanted to say I think your art style is awesome! I was wondering if you had any tutorials on how you draw anatomy in your style (hips and legs especially)? Sorry if there's already one posted and I just didn't see it 🥲. Happy New Year :>

thanks for the kind words. i tend to draw people pretty stylized and then some so a good bit of artistic licence gets used. these tips are just what i use so feel free to take them with a grain of salt. with anatomy in particular you can kind of talk in circles because human/animal bodies are that complex so ill just zone in on the points you specified. here's a little image with a bunch of pointers:

the above image condenses a lot of the points I'd make, but basically the key parts are to start with the bare essentials and build up that complexity. using a line of action is a good way to get a quick, rough start. you draw a line out in the general direction of the pose and do your best to adhere to it to give the pose a sense of flow.

you can also draw smaller, thumbnail versions that throw a lot of caution to the wind but capture the basic energy of what you're going for. even having a tiny little stick figure version of your idea can make for a good guideline of where to take it forward.

when it comes to actual limbs, you wanna consider how they integrate and work together, kind of like how chains do. you can see on some of the parts of pear i've drawn out these wireframes to kind of portray how the mass of her legs works in a three dimensional space. for aspects like the waist/hips, i use that X technique i highlight above a lot, particularly for the lower torso. a lot of the times, even when drawing a character totally naked, imagining them wearing things like skintight underwear can help a lot to guide you in the right direction.

its also a good idea to consider things like gravity and weight to a degree. humans are essentially big meat sacks and gravity is always pulling down on that, but theres all kinds of aspects that effect that, such as character build or clothing. pear technically isn't naked in this, but i've tried to imagine her as such and take that into account.

if you are drawing digitally, don't be afraid to take advantage of the convenience you get with that workflow. you can retry and iterate on things a lot faster that pen and paper, and do things that aren't really feasible at all when it comes to editing and modifying your existing work. things like resizing certain bodyparts, instantly flipping the canvas, or using selection tools to completely adjust the positions of parts of your drawing. to give you an example heres a timelapse with all the little edits i made just to this demo drawing:

you don't have to use these techniques linearly, either. sometimes ill have a really solid idea for a piece in my head, and go back to basics with certain elements if they’re not coming out right or i just want to brush them up a bit more. some of the tutorial-y parts i added in i didn't actually use during the drawing but often do use so they're there just for demonstration. not every drawing i do starts as building blocks or a really basic version, often ill just start with a face and build it out from there.

i always encourage liberally using references (this can include yourself) and trying out stuff like life drawing or looking at things like existing photographs of real people/places/things if you can, the more you use learning material the better you'll draw up a mental inventory in your head that you can rely on more and more. some of these tips are things i've learned from other artists over the years (the chin one especially i remember seeing a tutorial about lol), so this is a lot of knowledge i've amassed from other sources over time myself. there are plenty of times ill use all sorts of reference material and its all in service of arriving at the final destination as smoothly as possible. learn by doing, as they say. hope this helps!

[burnedwriter]

Messmerized

A/n:Messmer fuckers this one is for you

Summary:Guided by Miquella through the land of shadows,taking down anything that stood in the way of completing his journey.After a long trip with your trusty steed,torrent,you made it safely to your final destination.Miquella informed you that the only target blocking the way was a demigod named Messmer the impaler,one of the most fearsome figures and the mastermind behind everything that has been happening in the lands.Exchanging your last good byes before parting ways,you head inside the castle never to be seen again.....

---

Preview:

Getting off torrent you take a look towards the bridge, it was full of foot soldiers along with their respectable commanders, their sole goal was guarding the front gate of the castle.''stay here torrent,i will come back for you,i promise''you gave him a treat and a pat on the head to calm him down before your departure.As you were walking away ,Torrent bit down on your cape trying to pull you back but to no avail.His reaction frightening you to your core,you have never seen him act like this not once on your travels and you have killed every demigod in the lands between,hell you even took him to fight Radahn together and he never acted this way.Deciding to brush it off as you make your way towards the soldiers,killing every foot soldier you saw,swinging your sword left and right,leaving no survivors.This is the castle Miquella has guided you as you stand before the gates.Nescent butterflies appearing from thin air,creating the form of the small empyrian,who did not dare to come any closer to the gate but keep his distance''Messmer is the last obstacle,he is the one that controls the shadow lands,please dear tarnished.You are my only hope''Miquella said clenched his small hands pleading you ''put your worries to rest Miquella,you can rely on me,I did not became the elden lord for no reason.I guess this is where we part our ways for now.We will meet again soon after the battle''you reassured him before turning your back to him.Putting your hands on the colossal gate ready to open it.Looking over your shoulder for a brief moment Miquella bows down in approval before disappearing quickly into a sworm of butterflies just like how he appeared.Leaving you all alone.

Pushing the heavy door with all your might,just enough for you to slip inside.Immediatly  drawing your sword,ready to fight as you expected more soldiers to show up with all the rackus you caused outside but there was nothing....no one was there,the inside was empty,no balistas,no soldiers,no commanders not even Messmer himself waiting to attack you.Walking sheepilish further into the castle.The castle itself was dark and foggy to the point where you could barely even see where you were going, the smell of previously lit candles still filling the air,making it hard to breath.When it came to the decoration of the castle ,some could say that it was long abandoned, with ripped curtains litering the floor and the paintings ruined,uneven and stained with blood.As you continued further,the castle still had no source of light but only 2 red candle right outside of a long corridor that seemed endless.What took your interest were the flames,they looked more of blood than flame.As you took a step closer ready to enter the long corridor,''what is going on in this place?''making you jump in suprise,the candles lit on their own right before your very own eyes,with each step another set lit, guiding you through the darkened castle.But where could they possibly be guiding you? Traveling through the castle,you made a brief stop as you see a statue hidden away,soon to realize it was a statue of Marika only destinct by her extended arm that was sticking out under the cloth.''Why would a statue of Marika be here from all places?''You went closer towards the statue, pulling down on the cover,making them fall , revealing a disturbing secret.The statue was beheaded,you felt unease like you just discovered something that you were not supposed to see,making you panic and go back to following the bloodflame candles like nothing happened. After sometime the candles lead you to another set of heavy doors but there were no ordinary door,they had a unique isignia on them,a giant circle cut in two halves,on the left side a flame while on the other a snake eating its on tail.It was Messmer's throne room.

link to the full fic:https://archiveofourown.org/works/55361947

[orange-coloredsky-archive]

i cannot believe ive never posted this. probably because it looks like shit. anyways heres my pepe silva ass scrawlings about what i think this guy's mods are for.

translation of the nigh unreadable text under the cut

REAL AND CANON DIMA LORE PART ONE: What The Hell Are All Those Doo Dads

(i'll start from the head and go down)

HEAD

functionally blind. constant exposure to moisture from the fog pretty much turned a lot of him into mush and short circuits, including whatever optic nerves he had going on in there. so he mainly relies on sound and memory to get around. some of the shit sticking out of his head actually works like echolocation devices. pickinh up the sound around him and translating it into something that lets him know "oh, theres a fuckin table there. it does not always work. (fun fact: thats the reason why his memory game is based on abstractions and sound. while exploring nick/kellogg's brain we got visual input. dima doesnt have that)

all of the other tubes are basically just typical vacuum tubes. used to reroute voltage to make sure he doesnt overload himself with all the extra mods. make sure you dont stand too close to him during a thunderstorm

TORSO

basically an external disk drive. his main way of utilizing holotapes and shit. i like to draw a lil heart on it

looks like guts. gross. i cant figure out what this would do (i now believe its a liquid cooling system)

LEGS

so it turns out sitting in a damp ass cave on your ass in the dirt for 365 days doesnt do wonders for the skin. especially when that skin is just shitty rubber. basically his fuckin leg parts rotted away and just his metal skeleton remained, which is wrapped in his weird duct tape yoga pants. the metal frames are for extra support. because of this as well as his age he cant really stand for long periods of time (ignore the part where he stands in acadia forever after you get deeper into his questline) and when he INSISTS ON DOING SO he requires some form of mobility aid. usually in the form of faraday or chase walking alongside him

typical synth skeletal feet, but augmented to actually flex/extend like talons. he is weirdly skilled at picking things up with his feet.

BACK

basically his whole back is just Gone, minus the structures needed to hold up those ports because dima is very prone to overheating. was easier to just get rid of anything blocking the flow of air than to install a bunch of heat sinks. faraday's smart but hes on a budget.

these are the cerebral (spinal?) connections he uses to be plugged into his chair (not dissimilar to the placements of the connections in the institute mind wiping chair ☹️)

[yayforocs]

I!!! ok ok these were who i was actually originally going to make helsmets for but then i remembered aron was originally a minecraft oc and she Immediately Took The Spotlight bUT I!!!! made some helsmets of the minecraft crew (even tho their helsmets would certainly not be a crew) to fill @silverskye13's sandbox with!!!!! i will ramble!! under cut!!

SO FIREMITE

He was like the first one (maybe second??) that i came up with an idea for, and it was actually the redesigns that did it! i mentioned that he kept his more sculk-y eye and half of his face hidden bc it could freak ppl out and then also i realized that i'd kinda visualized him as a happy ray of sunshine all the time and it perfectly opened the door to! suppression. like if he's perfect beam of sunshine all the time then he's gotta be suppressing/hiding A Lot Of StuffTM, both physically (hiding as much of his warden influence as possible) and emotionally (only showing others his happiness), so i made his helsmet based off that! :V it's also kinda what firemite is afraid to be seen as i think, bc if he saw his helsmet all he would see is what about himself would scare ppl.

Tyratone was my second!! I'm pretty sure! she might've been first. but Tyr looks around at her friend group and sees that everyone else contributes- fire brings up resources from underground, aqua makes connections to other folks to keep them on good terms, and razor keeps the group protected from physical threats. She just.. has her little indoor farm. Collects crops every so often. Mostly keeps her cats alive. Messes around with firemite n tags along with razor to scout out sometmes. Like what does she even do. (She provides for the group but thinks it a task that any of them could do and that she's not really needed, even tho they do all rely on her to keep them going. Any of them *could* step into that role alongside what they do, it's simple enough, but they all appreciate having her around bc she's fun and enjoys simple things, and keeps the group together.) She thinks it only a matter of time before she's kicked out bc she's not really doing much, and so her helsmet is based around proving her worth through what she can do for other people!

Aqua took me a bit to fully realize; i had a vague idea for a while but it was toeing the line of similarity to tyr's and i didn't want repeats, so i sat and thought for a bit. in his original bio, i'd put that he kinda missed only having two ppl in the group, and that he thinks he's the leader but isn't. ok, so throwing these two things together, i can kinda figure that maybe he missed only having two people bc it meant that his opinions carried more weight, because it was only ever up against one other, instead of three others. he gets ideas of what he thinks is best and what he thinks they should do at any given time and the others tend to go with razor's ideas more than his, and it gets to him. he feels like they don't really listen to him at all, which they do and give consideration to his input, but he gets jealous and upset that razor's ideas are gone with more. so his hels is someone that constantly strives to be heard and to be listened to and to be viewed as important! i'm not actually sure if how i ended up implementing that works or not, but that's what i was able to come up with :V (the cane is just to look neat, and also it's netherite so heavy bonking stick as well should he need it sdklfj)

and then razor! razor. good night he gave me trouble. i wanted to draw him so badly and could not for the life of me figure out what his hels would be of. like i knew he'd be a fighter, but like. why would he exist in the first place?? i kinda thought about how i'd designed him and what personality traits i'd given him- he wears a lot of layers, most of his face is covered, long sleeves, it's a kinda closed-off wardrobe. and he's phlegmatic, so he goes with the flow a lot. maybe his thing is that he's doing what he can to keep the group safe, sure, but he also wants to try to stay a little closed-off, so that if he fails one day to keep them safe, it won't hurt as much and would be easier to move on. tossing around the idea that maybe that had happened with folks he was previously with- before he and fire met aqua and tyr, and maybe even before he met fire. not sure yet, (still not entirely certain on his hels concept at all tbh) but that's the fun of being in the middle of developing characters and their stories!! trying stuff out and seeing if it sticks!!

ANYWAY if u read all of that bLESS YOU ilysm these were really fun to figure out and make!!! also cannot believe i hecking. i did all these today, this afternoon/evening dslkfjsdkl i'm going to bed Extremely LateTM but it is worth it!!! i did it!!!! i'm so happy i love them sm qvq ty silver for writing such a cool hecking story that provides so so much inspiration and such a fun world to play around in, this was a fantastic exercise in character development for these four, who just existed as bullet points prior :V

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Thank you for the tag @yaralulu !! Its nice to feel included ♥

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing?

I get the best ideas while driving or showering and then struggle to remember them later.

Its a mess, it truly is, i have thrown away everything my hs teachers taught me. I have 35 WIPs that as soon as I think of a scene, ill spit it out and then move onto the next. I am writing CH 15 of my fic while CH11 remains bare and empty.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

I have no idea what a pantser is tbh, I just started writing 2 mos ago. Still catching up with the lingo and all the different sites I need to learn.

I generally have an idea of a plot, and at the top of every CH or Word doc I will write a brief synopsis of what I want to happen, but for the most part i am possessed by the characters and I am just as shocked as yall are about what came out of my fingertips.

What do you listen to when you are writing?

Studio Ghibli Study music. I draw a lot of inspiration from BVB, MIW, Heather Dale and Misbehavin Maidens, but while I am actually writing I cannot listen to lyrics because my ADHD paired with my dyslexia will have me out here just writing the lyrics down.

There might be a Tarquin Bonus Chapter coming that is based off The Maiden and the selkie by Heather dale but shhh!.

What’s your drink of choice(while writing)?

It depends on Time of Day but I am the stereotypical 3 drinks at once person: 1 for hydration (water), 1 for caffeine (tea or coffee, I have a terrible addiction to both), and 1 for fun (hot cocoa, dr. pepper, or kool aid)

Promote yourself! What’s your favorite thing you’ve written?

I do really like my main fic A Court Reborn, it is a self indulgent fun story to write and a few people seem to love it, which I am floored by. I honestly did not think it was going to do well being my first multi chap fic and all. It often has me crying over my keyboard going "Lucien will be happy if it kills me." While it is a Pro Tamlin, Tam x OC, It also focuses on building and encouraging Lucien and Nestas healing to set them up for Elucien and Neris respectively.

But I also love the accessibility of my one shots/ drabbles, reader fics. Not everyone has the time to invest into reading a full fic so a quick chap to make you feel better before you continue scrolling is great.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

I did kinda hope for Lucien and Eris Make Up to do better than it did, but I am a new writer, not everything is going to stick and do phenomenal. I like it, and thats what matters ♥

Do you have any advice for new writers?

Comparison is the thief of joy, but also, it is understandable that you would like some feedback for your writing, I feel the same way!

I miss a lot on here, if you are one of my moots and you feel your fic did not get enough love, tag me! Send it to me! I will hype you up!! I follow you for a reason, and that reason is that I think you are great and anything you post, even if we have never had a conversation before, I want to read it!!

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

Slowing down, fleshing out the scene. I get too excited when I write and rely heavily on Cannons depictions of the places themselves. I feel I am getting better at it though and reading back through my fic I can see in real time my writing improve and I think that is pretty cool.

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

Lucien. I am enjoying babying him. "Yes you are a powerful Heir to Day Court, but you also deserve head scratches and forehead kisses." No my OC is not going to end up with Lucien romantically, my goal is to convey a loving older sister figure to him. Yes there will be a part where she clashes with Eris over him "hes not YOUR little brother"/ "he is now"

On the flip side, Tarquin is proving more difficult. In my head he is so calm, cool and collected, but I myself am chaotic. I am trying so hard to do his character the justice he deserves.

I am tagging: @farintonorth @1800naveen @matrixsss @positivelyruined @merwgue @bxriles @sad-scarred-sassy

And anyone else!!

[theferalsquirrel]

Update and where I've been

Okay, so I made a post a few days ago to show that I'm still alive, as well as the fact that I was going to post an update about what's going on. So, here's the deal.

I mentioned a while back that I hurt my hand and that I've been needing to wear a brace off and on. And this is still going on. I've been advised by my orthopedic doctor to wear the brace when doing artwork, especially fine details. I've also acquired some arthritis gloves, which have fortunately eased the pain. For a while I was essentially trying to re-learn how to draw with the new limitations of the brace. However, the pain got so bad that I pretty much had to stop drawing entirely and focus on healing. In short, the pain was getting worse. I even had to quit my job a month or so ago as the pain became too great.

I haven't been able to draw for about the last two months, and as someone whose main stress reliever is drawing, this has been a less than unpleasant experience. Heck my hand is starting to hurt and cramp up just typing this out.

Since the pain wasn't improving, I went back to my doctor and explained to him what's going on, to which he sent in an order for an MRI of my hand to the hospital, of which I'm still waiting on the insurance to approve of.

I'm hoping to try and get back into drawing a little bit, just taking far more frequent breaks than usual. But I don't know how it'll go from here on out. This entire experience has been exceptionally difficult and depressing for me, as the idea of potentially never drawing again has reared its ugly head on multiple occasions. And that has done nothing to help my mental health. As someone who wants to write and draw to make stories, and uses this as my main creative outlet, the idea of having that stripped away from me in any way is terrifying.

There's also the added bit that I've been planning on serving a mission for my church sometime later this year, and I don't know how often I'll be able to be on here, or when my mission begins. It could be I won't be on Tumblr for a solid eighteen months, or perhaps I could still post every now and again during that eighteen-month period. I honestly don't know, as everything in my life seems up in the air at the moment.

So... Yeah. That's been my life. No job, off-and-on stabbing pains in my dominant hand, struggling to indulge in two of my biggest passions in life, and all-around uncertainty about the future and where everything is headed. Not to get too religious, but I am someone who relies on my faith when things get hard. But even now it's been difficult.

I'm going to try to create more art and play around with my (kind of) YouTube channel as I explore my limitations and where I'm at, and I'd like it if those who've stuck by me this long would be willing to stick around a while longer. But no pressure.

I just wanted to let people know that I'm alive, and what's going on. Not sure how many people will read this, but I trust that those who know me will. I'm not leaving Tumblr for good, not at all. I'm just in the midst of figuring a lot of things out.

[devsgames]

Consumer FAQ About Unity's Recent Decision

I've noticed there's a few frequently asked questions by non-gamedev folks about how Unity's recent direction might affect them as consumers, and a lot of folks still (understandably confused) about all the Unity happenings.

Given Unity's half-elaborated approach to this decision it's difficult to come up with concrete answers in some cases as we don't know how this is all going to roll out, but I figured it would be worthwhile to try to provide some clarity on common topics where I can.

If anyone has additional questions please leave them as a reblog or an ask and I can try to help. I'm not a definitive source and I'd encourage folks to look around at what other developers are saying on this subject.

Q: I don't get it! It's only a few cents off the top and it doesn't effect most developers. Why are so many devs mad about this if it doesn't affect them?

A: Here's a good overview on the whole situation up to this point. It's a long read but excellent background and likely to answer a lot of questions.

While the pricing decision doesn't affect all developers (due to thresholds), the way Unity is implementing it does and there's a lot of that side of it which is a massive sweeping change. They're planning to track users on a per-install basis, which is an incredibly unreliable approach to business and largely lacks precedent for a game engine. Installs can be spoofed, and tracking universal installs from things like piracy, countries with stricter data laws, etc. is virtually impossible for every type of application. This is why most companies like Epic simply charge based on game revenue, because revenue is tracked and it also doesn't rely on charging developers for money they potentially don't have.

Additionally, some devs operate on incredibly thin margins and 0.15 cents an install is easily enough cost to tank a company, especially in the realm of Free-To-Play where installs don't make money. This also means that low-priced games are at risk, as 0.15 cents off a game that is, say $5, really adds up. Unity also seems poised to chase after distributors like Microsoft and Valve in some of these cases, which is...a daunting legal battle that could easily cost the company a fortune, and this is probably the biggest hurdle they will cross in putting this into action.

Moreover Unity has been incredibly cagey about the actual technical implementation of how this will happen, and it's going to be implemented on any game made in Unity by every developer, regardless of sales or platform. It's a massive core change to their product and how users are tracked, and they're rolling it out in a very unplanned, untelegraphed way across everyone in their ecosystem. Many developers find it difficult to trust a company that makes decisions like this (*cough*Twitter*cough*) and don't want to be associated with shipping games that track users like this.

If I had to draw a comparison it's a bit like if an electric company gave you electricity and charged you for it, but being unwilling (and also unable) to show you how much they came up with the numbers on how much you owe them - all because one guy in your whole town was using more electricity than the rest of you.

Q: Will I lose access to my favourite dev's Unity-made games when this happens?

A: Assuming devs choose to remove their games, it depends on how the platform handles it. Steam, for example, keeps games in users libraries even if they're delisted from the store. You'll need to investigate how your platform of choice handles game removals to determine the risk there, but I imagine keeping access of the game to users is fairly standard practice across various platforms.

This is also assuming a company or platform chooses to remove a game because of this. As of right now it's hard for most people - devs included - to tell if this plan is going to stick as is, which means it's hard to know if devs will de-list their games because of it. It's a huge risk dev-side and I'm sure most would prefer to avoid that however possible.

Q: Should I avoid installing a developer's game if it's made in Unity? I don't want to charge them money!

A: These policies (if they go through) don't kick in until January 1st, 2024, so anything you download now is fine to download risk-free. After that, assuming these decisions go through as-is, it largely depends on the game's sales figures and how the developer wants you to handle it, as I imagine every one will have a different approach. Some devs will signal their intent.

Remember too that this largely depends on the game's user numbers and sales figures, which aren't often made public to consumers and are even hard to track for developers. It's very muddy water, but I'd honestly say you're going to be generally safe to install games. Also keep in mind Unity alleges it's only "for a first install" - assuming this is true, if you've already installed a game you're theoretically safe to reinstall it on your device as many times as you need without charging a dev.

Q: Is every game made in Unity going to be taken down?

A: I suspect it's likely you'll still have access to all your titles you have access to in some way or another. Some games could potentially be lost but I imagine popular titles that everyone is asking about (Cult of the Lamb, Hollow Knight) will continue existing in some form whether that be preservation or re-publishing by developers - after all they're the ones most in the public eye and most likely to be hopped on by presevationists. Unfortunately though, it's hard to know right now and depends on the decision the developer makes with delisting their product.

Q: Should I download all my games for preservation purposes?

A: If you're planning to actually archive them for others! I imagine a lot of preservationists are eyeing this and taking action as we speak.

Q: I'm a consumer, how can I support developers?

A: This one is tricky because options are limited consumer-side. At this point, short of denouncing Unity's decision, even developers are limited in their options. We can't "strike" or "boycott" against Unity because...well none of us work for Unity and refusing to interact with the ecosystem would cost many people's livelihoods. Many devs have already cancelled their payment plans to them or threatened to abandon the platform should this go through.

Consumers have even less options, but being vocal towards Unity especially in ways they will notice - such as their official forum thread or tagging their official social media channels on the subject - is incredibly valuable and lets them know that you as a consumer are against this. Moreover, listen to developers and what they're saying about all this, and what their plans are for their games when/if this decision goes through. Be vocal in your support for devs who are denouncing Unity's practices - I promise if this is scary as a consumer it's even scarier as a developer as this is very much putting dev's jobs at stake. You should also stay up to date with Unity's messaging and what developers say about it - the first step is staying reliably informed and not jumping head-first into wild speculation.

I suspect in most cases boycotting Unity games on the whole is not helpful for paid titles, as you'd likely just be punishing the developers.

No matter what be respectful to the workers at Unity and do not threaten them. I've worked at companies that made shit decisions, and they are never made by choice of the workers at a company. It's a frustrating situation and given how fundamentally flawed these changes are I fully believe that they pointed out the flaws here ahead of time and were likely ignored. The folks working there are not to blame and do not deserve your ire or threats, and I guarantee they've spent this week internally denouncing this decision from management as well.

Q: I'm learning/started learning Unity, is all my knowledge gone to waste? Should I stop learning it?

A: No! Game engines are all similar to one another and many skills are transferable across them. Any game developer who works in an IDE eventually learns how to swap to another and at no point are you ever locked in to one. Practices and processes you learn in Unity are very much applicable in Godot or Unreal.

There's no moral imperative that forces you to let the decision of executives compromise your learning - you're not paying Unity anything to use their engine for learning, and it will teach you skills you can carry on to a new engine when you're done.

[stardewspellshed]

Jk I have an actual ask now: how do you go about actually making your spells in stardew? With it not being entirely up to the player where you can place things and what you can pick up and what not, how do you come up with ideas as to what you can do? (My uncertainty is probably to do with the fact that I haven’t the slightest clue what the mechanics actually are save from what I hear from my friends feral rants about the supermarket and eels)

So this ended up being a suuuper long post and I am so sorry lmao. Tried to break it up into sections to make it a little easier to read!

GET TO KNOW THE GAME

The first step to coming up with spells was to learn my medium, to put it in art terms. I played the game purely for the sake of playing the game for a while, and more or less completed several files before I decided to figure out spellcasting. By then I'd had the mechanics memorized enough that everything is second nature now, which means I actually don't really know how to explain it very well in a way that makes sense to other people!

In a nutshell, I'd sorted out how decorating the farm works, what crops I like/don't like growing (which helps for associations!), etc., but also the negative mechanics like "leaving Jack o Lanterns outside on the last night of fall means they'll turn into rotten glurge on the first day of winter" and "villagers walking through your stuff can break or uproot it so be careful where you put stuff if you're sticking things in town".

GET TO KNOW YOUR SPELL ITEMS

So the first solid step I took when I decided to start branching out into using the game for tech magic was to start sorting out my associations/correspondences for villagers and items. This is a massive work in progress because of how much stuff there is in the game and I'm nowhere close to done with actually transcribing it all, but for items I generally use a combination of traditional correspondences and what feels Correct to me.

(This is probably where I'd suggest anyone looking to get into Stardew as a method of casting start—like, at least sort out a few things you think you're going to use a lot— because your process for forming associations is inherently going to be different than mine!)

HOW THE SPELLCRAFTING PROCESS GENERALLY GOES DOWN FOR ME

(Heads up that my practice frequently relies on sympathetic magic and energy work and has since the early days of starting to work with magic. That was five years ago now, so at this point I'm by no means an expert but I have enough practice that I have a comparatively easy time using things that aren't physically there in spellcraft— this may be something that requires a fair bit of practice for other peeps. Adding this warning because I don't want to assume everybody shares my background!)

So when I craft a spell I work backwards. I figure out my goal, what timing (real world and/or in game), villagers, or items would assist in my goal if necessary, draw up a rough plan for what I want to happen in the spell itself then I just... fuck around with each step independently before casting.

I do test runs for each step I want in a spell without actually casting it to make sure it's something I can pull off, sort of like a series of miniature dress rehearsals. If I don't like how it feels or if the mechanics won't let me pull it off, I rework that step on the spot. I will do this as many times as I need to with as many steps as I need to until I have a spell that I feel flows smoothly. This is why I recommend a rough guide, because sometimes things just won't work the way you want them to and you have to rework.

On a final note I do most of my spellwork on my farm because you're pretty free of restrictions and don't run into nonsense like the villager pathing issue I mentioned earlier as often lmao.

I feel like this was incredibly rambly and didn't answer your question but it's the best explanation I've got, I'm so sorry if this wasn't helpful!

[comfortlesshurt]

Saw that post about fic-writing-related questions to ask you and so:

1. What's the word that appears most in your current draft?

2. What's your preferred writing font?

3. Where do you get your inspiration? (And is it possible to learn this power?)

4. What's your favourite place to write?

5. Talk about your writing and editing process

6. What's the most interesting topic you've researched for a fic?

7. How do you recharge when you're not feeling creative?

8. Besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

omg yes, thank you!

I just started something last night but it's only 40 words, so I'm gonna jump over to a more substantial WIP to get a better answer for this one. For chapter 6 of the bigger fic I'm working on, the top three are: Keith, Shiro, and time. (Or if you want to exclude names, time, when, and enough!)

I picked Times New Roman 12pt when I was like... 12, and I never abandoned it.

It jumps around! Over the past year, it's honestly mostly been from reading others' fics! (Which is also why I've gotten more fanatic about using the "Inspired By" feature on AO3 recently, because I fully think it's okay to take inspiration from others, but the other person deserves a little boost in reads too!) In the past, I've pretty exclusively relied on other people giving me prompts, but I had to figure out something else when I desperately wanted to write and there was no outside interest.

This one's probably boring, but I can't stand writing on my phone or a laptop, so I exclusively write at my desktop in my living room.

For writing: 1) Get idea (the hardest part). 2) If it's multi-chapter and I know that from the start, I'm not allowed to write anything until there's a basic outline jotted down. 3) The actual writing: Active writing doc on one monitor, outline on the other (if it's a multi-chapter work where I need to keep track of how the current part interacts with other parts), and Spotify in the background! For editing: I'm awful about it. I'm one of those people who edits as I write even though it frustrates me every time. BUT in exchange, the final editing is a lot easier because I've already edited it during every drafting session. I try to do the editing at the start because then it doubles as me reminding myself what I've already written and might give me ideas for what I want to write in the rest of this session. The final editing session after the writing is done is usually just me googling synonyms for the words I think I overused!

Oh man, I'm sure I'm blanking on something more interesting from further in the past, but a recent one has been the actual timeline for Voltron. Like, I always knew it was set in the future, but I never thought about exactly when since the show seems to be intentionally vague, and I had to dig into fan theories to get a good answer to that. Usually if I need to research something, I'll stick to an overview because I will go overboard if I give my brain half a chance, and a brief overview is usually enough to avoid writing anything completely wrong and immersion-ruining.

Ooh, I switch hobbies for a bit! I used to think you can't really call it a hobby if you don't do it almost every day, but that's a silly idea and I've given it up. If I don't feel like writing, I don't write. Usually, I'll get really into reading again during those times, but I might also go back to playing the guitar or drawing. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's fun and it's not writing. I just do that until I feel like writing again. That keeps me from associating writing with being frustrated and upset since I only write when I actively want to.

Oops, kinda went into them above already! But other than those ones, I also obsess over statistics, coding, and general math nerd stuff since those are what I went to college for. There are probably other hobbies, but of course they've all popped out of my head now that I'm trying to think of them!

[thepatchycat]

Hi, I’m a real new shiny here (on Tumblr, but also at drawing), and it’s the first time I ask anything, so I hope it’s ok. I must say first that I love the way you draw TCW characters (especially the clones)! 😍 I just came across this sketch you made on canvas (if I remember correctly) https://www.tumblr.com/thepatchycat/729224397978828800 and I was wondering, if you don’t mind sharing, how do you get the perfect white background on non-digital drawings? I currently use a scanner app on my sketches and the results are always inconsistent and far from that white… thanks a lot in advance!! 😊

Welcome to the Tumblr crew, shiny! ;) And thank you kindly!

So my dirty secret for that sketch is... it actually is completely digital! I drew it in a program called Rebelle 5, which is designed to mimic traditional canvas/paper and pencils/paints. I picked it up for super cheap during a huge sale last year, and it's a lot of fun; unfortunately, it's usually pretty expensive, as many art programs are. I highly recommend keeping an eye out for sales though if you ever get into digital drawing--and if you'd like a free program, the one I use most of the time is MediBang. But those programs are really mostly helpful for digital art, not so much for scanning actual pencil sketches.

While I tend to stick to digital drawing nowadays, I definitely feel you on the scan cleanliness issue; phone pictures and even proper printer scans tend to end up either kind of dirty or faded. The short answer is that I don't actually have an easy and effective solution, but there might be some things you can try depending on what you have available. I wouldn't be surprised if you've already explored more methods than I have, and there are definitely people with better ideas and more experience than me, but I'll share what I've tried.

Long(er)-winded rambling under the cut!

So, I currently have an unfinished piece sitting in my files that began as a traditional drawing, one that I want to keep all the pencil details for. Here's the sketchbook page, scanned using a household printer:

Not terrible, but it'd be nice to have clearer contrast between the lines and the background. In MediBang, I can adjust the contrast by going to Filter>Levels (or Ctrl+L), which gives me a little box that looks like this:

I don't technically know the nitty gritty of how it works, but by my understanding, the outer triangles for the input and output indicate the range boundaries. Adjusting the input--particularly the darker boundary--so that the output boundary exceeds it basically tells the program to make the darker parts even darker, resulting in this:

Better! As you can see, though, the darker parts of the background also show up a bit more. Rather than relying only on contrast adjustments, what I actually ended up doing was carefully erasing the background around the drawing after adding a plain white layer underneath, and also going over some of the lines digitally. I did this first in MediBang (the only art program I had when I started working on it), then transferred the file over to Rebelle.

MediBang (left) has the pure white background, while the Rebelle (right) canvas settings I chose are a little off-white and more textured, which I think blends a bit better with the texture and shading of the image. It's possible to add textures and the like in MediBang, too, but Rebelle has it built into its design, so it's a little easier to figure out there; I'll likely finish this piece in Rebelle (whenever I get back to doing so, haha), since the canvas and brush settings will be easier to match to the texture of everything that came directly from the drawing.

Most of this is much easier to do with a drawing tablet/pen, unless you're a wizard with a mouse. As for traditional means... the best suggestion I can come up with is to try inking sketches, or at least darkening them further with a pencil. The more contrast you can get between your lines and the background, the more easily you can digitally tease that contrast out even further. I think most photo editors have at least some contrast, color, and brightness adjusters, and probably more useful functions I don't even know about--it never hurts to mess around with any program's filters and settings to see what happens!

Good luck, and happy drawing! :D

[bubbleonice]

Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet

I was interrupted so many times while doing this reading, it was insane. I had to start over and over. There’s a lot of disturbance amongst these two energies right now. I sense a disagreement, maybe even a huge argument between these two men. But let’s dive into the cards.

Armie Hammer:

Goddes of the unknown: a new chapter of Armie’s life is around the corner, he needs to remove fear and embrace the unkown. Only through darkness are we able to see the beautiful tapestry of light. Even he presently cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, he is being urged to trust. A major chapter in the story of his life has recently come to a close and an exciting new chapter is about to begin.

Shower of abundance: he is about to be guided as to how to create and accept abundance.

Create: it’s time to look beyond current cirumstances and use the power within to create new ones. There is more to his world than the present is offering. Armie is stuck in a rut, and he believes what he sees now is all there is. It’s time to break free from the drudgery and boredom that the same-old same-old offers.

Past: Through the power of love, he releases stagnant situations or energy in order to transform his heart space.

New Love: A new person is stirring his romantic feelings.

The Emperor: Authority, establishment, structure, a father figure. The Emperor suggests that you are adopting this fatherly role, providing for your family, and protecting and defending your loved ones. You may be the breadwinner or the ‘rock’ for those who rely on your stability and security. You listen to the advice of others, but you prefer to have the final say. Conflict doesn’t scare you, and you won’t hesitate to use your power to protect those you care about. And in return, those people will repay you with the loyalty and respect you deserve. The Emperor reflects a system bound by rules and regulations. You create law and order by applying principles or guidelines to a specific situation. Create calm out of chaos by breaking down any problem into its parts and then mapping out the actions you need to take to resolve it. Be systematic, strategic and highly organized in your approach, and stick to your plan until the end.

Page of wands: When you get the Page of Wands, it simply means something is within you, something that triggers you to make discoveries, indulge in investments or take the next advancement in life. You could be just about to take a move on a certain idea, but some conflicting messages keep coming to your mind, and you get discouraged. This card resembles your inner battles which are preventing you from expressing your heroism to the world, to let the world know that you exist for a reason.

His heart is telling him that life is a series of constantly shifting cycles. When we resist change, we resist the natural flow of life and create unnessary stress.

Armie feels the need of a change. He feels stuck and has felt stuck for a while. He is ready to gain back control of his life.

Timothee:

Goddess of sacred power: Timmy is being encouraged to take a leading role in his current situation. The current situation is in need of direction. It is not important who is right or wrong. What is important is that someone takes control. It is better to steer a ship somewhere, rather than have it drift aimlessly wherever the wind may blow.

Acceptance: see others with unconditional love and acceptance. That is how he lifts others to their highest potential.

Blow off some steem: something is bothering Timothee. His ego has been threatened so he has moved to fight or flight. His body is flooded with this hormone. He is filled with fear. He is likely to make rash decisionns, say things he doesn’t mean, draw conclusions that aren’t accurate and overreact. He needs to blow off some steam, punch a bag or something. Maybe hop in the shower snd scream at the top of his lungs. He needs to grumple to the heavens and let it all out. He is holding in a lot of anxiety and stress.

Worth waiting for: while Armie is in for a new love, Timothee’s contra argument is I am worth waiting for. I just need time.

The high Priestess reversed: Secrets, disconnected from intuition, withdrawal and silence. The High Priestess Reversed calls on Timothee to be still and direct his attention inward to listen to his voice and wisdom. He may be swayed by other people's opinions or swept up in their drama when what he really needs to do is focus on what is right for him. He has been told to follow his gut, but he may be ignoring the call. As far as feelings concerned, this card denotes a decisive lack of commitment. As much as he may feel that (in the case Armie) is an important part of his life, his feelings for Armie are blocked.

8 of pentacles: skill, talent, craftsmanship, quality, high standards, expertise, mastery, commitment, dedication, accomplishment. loving someone is like cultivating a skill. Learning to appreciate new sides of a love interest is something that can deepen your love for one another. In terms of love, his work may possibly be affecting his relationship. Regardless of how demanding his job is, he needs to make some time for his emotional connections with other people.

Queen of pentacles: In a general Tarot spread, the Queen of Pentacles represents high social status, prosperity, wealth, luxury, success and financial independence. Queen of Pentacles indicates that you can afford to be very selective when choosing a partner.

His heart is saying as follows: criticising one another will only lead to further unhappiness. Love and accept each other as you are and your relationship will magically transform.

I am also afraid to let you all know that I drew the twin flame card for this reading as well as Harry Styles and Taylor Russell. Some of you might think this is bullocks and I use this twinflame aspect just to prove a point.

But it’s true, the card came out. It was when I drew cards for Timothee. So this can either mean these two are twinflames, or, it is Timothee’s perception that they are. Interpreting the cards from this reading , they are telling me that their twinflame journey is somewhat a bit different than H and T’s. This twinflame relationship is in seperation. (That is if it is a Tw relation) As for now, these two are not on good terms. There’s distance, misunderstanding and a major argument going on. Maybe it is related to Kylie. But that would have to be a whole other reading to clarify.

I hope you enjoy this reading. And please keep in mind that this is done for entertainment purposes only. I use tarotcards and oracle cards actively in my readings, as well as my intuition. Energies come and go, what is relevant for today’s reading might change in a few weeks time. But some aspects will always remain constant and the same. Thank you.❤️

[brehaaorgana]

The thing is, websites being slowly destroyed because of capitalist greed is bad in general for many reasons, but I would like to point out that one of those reasons is that not every social website is built to handle the same kinds of engagement in the same ways, and this destroys spaces that can't simply be ported elsewhere because they are symbiotic to their origins.

You destroy specific kinds of communities and communication styles that rely on the uniqueness of individual platforms. You can't move that to somewhere else with a different structure without fundamentally changing something.

This has always been true, but I feel like not everyone is fully...aware or familiar with how this happens. It's not even entirely a Gen Z thing either - there are plenty of Millennials/Xers and older generations who did not have a ton of internet access in the early-mid 2000's and so don't necessarily have familiarity with what vanished. Internet access has only recently been "expected," for more people across the class spectrum.

As a Millennial(TM) who has been connected to the internet basically since infancy (my dad did IT/software engineer management stuff and would literally sit me on his lap while he was on the computer as a baby), I am keenly aware of a) the fact that there are entire internet social communities which I didn't engage with but are now gone and b) that there are ones I did engage in and are lost or no longer really the same because of capitalism.

Like...forums are just not as popular anymore as they used to be. They still exist, but it's harder to find them and they usually see way less activity than other platforms. And we lose so much knowledge/advice/engagement without them. Things like: I turned around one day and found a digital art forum I used to lurk on was totally gone, along with all the inspiration, tutorials, and tips. I remember one thread was this one guy wanting to learn to draw, and it was basically just his progress journal of learning to draw. It went over the course of YEARS of progress from like, stick figures to beautifully rendered art. Shit inspired me so much, and I think it just...vanished?

But then there's things like, entire social norms, jokes, and kinds of engagement that also vanishes or becomes a graveyard. Forums usually have karma systems (which reddit apes, sort of) and that could tell you a lot about an account lol.

Look at the slow death of livejournal! Dreamwidth sort of...tried to fill the gap but there's so many platform specific expectations and experiences that Livejournal had:

Icons that you change based on: interests, content or intent of your post/comment, that you can create and have others use and which change often.

Related: icons and graphics communities.

CAPSLOCK COMMUNITIES WHERE YOU DON'T LAPSLOCK EVER!! EVERYONE TALKS LIKE THIS

Locked communities (especially age based!) Or dedicated communities with moderation and agreed upon rules unique to that comm. Tumblr literally can't recreate that. It doesn't port to how Tumblr specifically works.

Comms like ONTD, stupid_free, or comedy shit like weepingcock, - or even like, scanlations comms. Shit that just doesn't translate to tumblr's style, especially without optional anonymous engagement and nested conversations. There's no such thing as FFAF on Tumblr. It doesn't work. You don't break the internet here the same way ONTD did when Michael Jackson died.

Dedicated fandom/ship comms. As someone who was quite literally harassed on Tumblr for years because I didn't like a specific non-canon ship between a literal teenaged child and an adult and talked about it without tagging it (and even censored it when just words suddenly showed in tags!) I miss dedicated fandom comms so much. Because I had way more control over who engaged with me on my personal LJ and NEVER would've bothered people on a comm about a ship I hated because it's shitty behavior and because people who do that got banned! Shared communities with moderation and better blocking settings were benefits I didn't have on Tumblr.

Just...it doesn't translate to Tumblr and now it's just a tiny space on DW and the zombie of LJ.

Similarly I don't think AITA translates very well to Tumblr because Tumblr doesn't:

Have nested comments/comment threads that can be collected all on one central page

Have easy to make throwaway accounts

Allow for anon responses to posts directly (it's only asks! They can't reblog anonymously!)

Have an upvote system

Have a "sort by most popular" or "sort by oldest."

Have autoretention/bot capture of the original submission.

A way to click through to someone's comments in other communities, or see what their responses to the thread as the op easily.

A collection of moderators and standardized community rules and community ability to report trolling/spam/fiction/shit posts.

Call me a killjoy but AITA won't fully translate to Tumblr for the same reason why ONTD isn't translated to Tumblr, and even a similar concept to ONTD looks totally different on reddit (see: deuxmoi). It will look different, it won't have the same community or feel simply because the platform itself is different enough that it inherently changes how we engage, what that engagement looks like, and what can even feasibly be done.

When a website dies, the unique communities and communication styles of that platform also start to die.

[xuune]

Hi! I've been following you for a while (don't really remember why or when) and I love your art! I just wanted to ask:

What's your favorite and least favorite part of animation?

oh cool! thanks for sticking around for so long :) honestly, if you've been following me for some time now it might've been either bc of my fanart, oc art, or both haha

thats a big question which prompts for a big answer so here's me rambling about it below B)

when asking fave/least fave things abt animation, its hard to answer without getting in depth on a variety of things LOL. animation, as a medium and field, is very nuanced with its own concentrations so its kind of a disservice to not recognize those areas esp when the skills u learn have a lot of overlap on how it improves other areas of study

i had practice in some 2D/3D ani, storyboarding, visdev, 3D modelling. here's my general experience with all of those:

2D

fave: figuring out how movement is created, rough animation stage, analyzing and figuring out timing/spacing, esp love the fact that you are creating motion, not pretty illustrations to gawk at, seeing the entire ani come together at the end feels very rewarding

least: cleanup and colors lol, feels very time consuming. if im gonna spend time making lines clean, id rather do that with an illustration piece

3D (in maya)

fave: can rely on the program to do the heavy lifting while you do the keys and adjustments, doing 3d actually enhanced my understanding of how the body moves in motion and space and where drag, follow thru, overshoot could be applied in both 2d/3d

least: i dont get to draw :( majority of my experience in the adjustment process is looking at a mass nebula of graphs and figuring out where i fucked up or smoothing out areas and fixing it. prefer 2d since i can just redraw what looks wrong vs scavenging thru multiple graphs. also modelling the key poses can feel like it takes forever vs drawing it

storyboarding

fave: creating strong, key story beats, keeping drawings rough when possible, shorthanding drawings, researching reference for shot compositions + studying them

least: can be very hard figuring out how to fill in the gaps between certain beats, easy to become uninspired/uncertain abt a sequence drawn

visdev

fave: seeing the final piece come together, figuring out composition, blocking in values/shapes, character design, research phase/looking for references and creating moodboards

least: i hate doing backgrounds lol. complexity affects how much i'll end up dreading it. personally not a fan of working on pieces for very long. im also not a fan of constantly doing paintings/bgs as a job

3d modelling (in maya)

fave: painting the model and texturing it, uv mapping and arranging it

least: the modelling part. fuck up 1 part and you fuck up the rest, you'd have to restart from square 1 or be lucky enough that you had a previous save before the fuck up. a proper process matters a lot in saving yourself the pain and headache from fixing everything (i redid a model that i worked on for 3 wks 4 times bc of my fuck ups)

overall, as a field of study

fave: its fun getting surrounded by others who can talk the same language as you do. ive always wanted to be around people who can get as hyped up and excited over discussing and analyzing story and animation, since i didnt have that with some of my other friends or family members. i've also been able to build proficiency in variety of programs too, which is useful. working in a team project is fun if you've got the right kind of ppl and that makes the experience fun when you the project finished. i've worked on various short films for rough animation, and i always love seeing the final film/composited shot and going "i worked on that part!! look at how nice it turned out with the rest of it! whoever did the [cleans/colors/compositing] did so good!!" i think my biggest satisfaction in this field is understanding the why and how something works (i.e. why/how does this animation effectively sell its movement? what makes these boards convey strong story moments? what about this composition is so appealing? why does this story beat matter to the rest of it? why do i/what makes me care about these characters?) it can easily deter people, but this field's a huge time commitment and youre constantly evolving your own craft. it doesnt come easy to everyone, but when you start seeing your own mileage, it feels very rewarding and pays off

least: industry's hard to get into lol, its kinda like that no matter where you go and once youre graduated, the time you spend in limbo is primarily working on your portfolio and catering to studios you wanna get into. its also easy to get the impression that being a "somebody" and maintaining a reputation matters to just increase your chances and connections of getting a job. that shits hard to deal with when youre not the most extroverted person on the planet, and even if your classmates do know you, are you gonna be the one that they end up talking about constantly or regarded highly a lot? names spread within circles, and it can feel like a competition to just get yourself known. its very easy to beat yourself up over seeing other people's work too. we're desperate, we're starving, we want our work to be acknowledged and validated, we want a job that satisfies our creative needs.

this field is incredibly demanding and its more than just having fun and drawing pretty pictures when much of it is a collaborative effort for a project. the disciplines you learn will majority of the time, without a doubt, will be applied for a larger team. at the same time, what you learn has overlap into other areas too which is always fun when you have this moment of "holy shit, i get it now"

[fanficsourcesx]

* . ⊹ prompt: nancy wheeler starts to realize that the friendship she recently developed with robin buckley might be more than meets the eye. * . ⊹ warnings: nothing but pure wholesome cuteness! * . ⊹ pairing: nancy wheeler x robin buckley * . ⊹  word count: 1,079 * . ⊹  additional comments: please enjoy!!!! this is a piece I wrote awhile ago and decided to finally post it elsewhere. if you wish to see any further prompts, my requests are open!

* . ⊹ masterlist

Nancy focused on the clothes in view, deciding what scheme would be the best for Robin to pull off the look of an academic scholar. Soft music faded into the background by the hands of a rather cheerful Robin who refused to listen to Nancy’s objection on searching through the set of cassettes she had on her nightstand. 

Something happens and I’m head over heels

I never find out till I’m head over heels

Something happens and I’m head over heels

Ah, don’t take my heart, don’t break my heart

Don’t, don’t, don’t throw it away

Holding up a bright pink ruffled shirt followed by a somewhat long skirt, the look of pure encouragement plastered on her face as if that was enough to convince the other brunette to put it on. Not that she had much of a choice to begin with, if they wanted to learn any further scoop on Victor Creel, this was the route to take. “Oh, come on! You only have to wear them for a few hours.” Without thinking, her lower lip formed into a slight pout, the silent plea for Robin to commit to this undercover plan of theirs. Nancy was determined to see this shot in the dark idea all the way through and Robin was a key piece to it. 

The eye roll that acted as a response in Nancy’s direction didn’t stray her in the slightest from continuing to slowly put the clothes in her hands. A hesitant Robin grabbed them with much aggravation as feet stomped their way to the bathroom down the hall, an amused grin upon Nancy’s lips as she started to gather a few make-up products that were scattered across her nearby vanity. Knowing she had to stick with a subtle natural look or otherwise the debate between them would last all night and they couldn’t dare to miss the appointment set at Pennhurst Mental Hospital. 

“I look like a pom pom threw up on me. You don’t have anything with less ruffles? Or anything that won’t draw the entire town of Hawkins attention onto me?” 

Turning on her heel, making sure that Robin hadn’t missed her response which was nothing more than an eye-roll. Something that was becoming a regular motion around the brunette. 

“The fun is just beginning. Come take a seat right here. I need to do a little make-up and no, don’t say anything.” It wasn’t Nancy’s intention by any means to come off with a short temper but more so that when she had a task at hand, she was determined to ensure that it was accomplished. This situation wasn’t any different, if she wanted to be of any help towards the circle of people relying on her to have the answers, this had to be done in the most efficient way that she could muster. 

Winning one of the many battles that were sure to come, Nancy stood in front of the seat that Robin had reluctantly taken. Leaning over her slightly, reaching for the lip gloss figuring if she could at least get past that then everything else would fall into place or at least she hoped for the best. “Pucker your lips for a second so I can put this on.” One finger lightly brushing underneath her chin, lifting it to gain a better angle into the sunlight peering in through the nearby window. Popping the top of the product in her hands, one hand holding her head in place as fingers delicately ran the tube across her lips. 

“Uh…Nance, why do my lips taste like watermelon? The, uh, last time they tasted like this was in the cafeteria when I was a freshman. It was watermelon day, I…you remember watermelon days? Anyway…so I am sitting there eating this watermelon when all of a sudden I choke on a seed…a freaking seed. This concoction on my lips is reminding me of that day…you know? I’d rather not be reminded of how I nearly got killed by a seed….do I really have to wear this? Are the clothes not enough?” Nancy had paused her previous actions, taking a second to look through glared eyes at the girl who was nearly running out of breath from how quickly the words were spilling out. 

“Robin! I need you to trust me on this. Can you do that?” 

Without another word, Robin held her hands up as a sign of her waving her flag of surrender, while Nancy felt rather accomplished for gaining the upper hand. Surprise quickly followed afterwards at how easy it was. Hands returning to their original placement, one holding Robin’s head at the perfect tilt while the other reapplied the lip gloss she had licked off. 

The silence basking around them, minus the music still playing at a low volume, Nancy had never taken a second to actually look at Robin. Not on a physical aspect level but who Robin was as a person, perhaps on Nancy’s part there was pre-judgment there and she recognized how unfair that was. In the mix of being caught up in her thoughts, silently admitting to herself that Robin wasn’t half bad after all, Nancy realized that she had been staring into her eyes. 

The blue reminds her of the one time she visited the ocean with a family, a trip that had been locked away in her vault of happy memories that included all of the Wheelers. They were in short supply these days sadly. Nancy continued to reapply the gloss, her usual caution was a bit sloppier than normal as she was seemingly lost in those deep blues. Eyes venturing out to take note of every single freckle that occupied Robin’s face, the way her bangs barely brushed past her eyelids. She was pretty - anyone could see that but why was Nancy taking the time out of her day to notice it? With that question bouncing around in her mind, the anxious tendencies she often experienced were coming to the surface. What the hell was she nervous for? She could feel the hands holding the tube of gloss become clammy, worried that it’d slip out of her grasp if she didn’t get a handle on this situation sooner. 

“This lip gloss makes your eyes pop.” She commented, hoping that would suffice as a good enough excuse as to why she continued to hold the gaze instead of dropping it the second her stomach began to do flip flops.