#so I better get that shit habituated first; you know?

[medicinemane]

Sometimes with people on youtube it's "upload what I fucking followed you for, not this junk"

And I'm not talking about when they go off on a side project or something, I'm not talking like if you followed someone here for some fandom and now they only talk about The Art of War

Literal example, followed on guy for global economics videos, I don't fucking need positivity videos from you, I definitely don't need videos on how to get rich (mate... I already ain't buying coffee, fancy cars, or whatever the other two things you said were, I literally own my house, I'm only not investing and I still ain't rich... out of touch aussie), and I sure as hell don't need a video about some mr beast challenge

You kinda get what I mean with this of "post the shit I followed you for"?

[catpriciousmarjara]

DP x DC: Dick's Totally Normal Date?

Inspired by that one juju sanpo where Yuuji thought Megumi was being hit on and he, Nobara, and Gojo pull out their ridiculous Formation B to drive away the potential date. And I thought, 'this, but batfam, but veer wildly to the left, with DP'. So here you go.

Third floor study, Wayne Manor

"Thank you all coming on such short notice", Tim said, eyes serious, one hand on the pile of documents on the table.

His siblings nodded at him, faces grave, except for Duke who just looked confused.

"I'm sure all of you already know why this meeting was called-

"I don't actually know why we are here", Duke interrupted.

He was thoroughly ignored.

-and are just waiting for confirmation. But the wait is now over. I have here the results."

His siblings all leaned forward, except for Cass who was too chill for that, apprehension radiating through their frames. Though Duke was more confused than apprehensive.

Tim sighed. "It's true. Dick is dating."

Gasps ran through the group.

Tim dropped the bigger bomb. "And its not a redhead."

Jason cursed as he leaned back in his chair, face directed at the ceiling exasperatedly. Steph brought a fist down on the table, shaking her head. Cass simply placed an elbow on arm of her chair, chin supported by the back of her hand. Damian just scoffed.

Duke looked at all of them still trying to see what the issue was and why they were even here doing this. Tired of being out of the loop the young man decided to just go ahead and bite the bullet.

"Question!", he began,"Why is Dick dating someone a problem?"

They all stared at him.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Dude, he dated a witch king that tried to make us all into creepy dolls just a year and a half ago. The bastard almost turned everyone in Gotham into literal hamster plushies when they broke up."

"His immediate rebound after that relationship was the alien that tried to hunt him for sport", Steph contributed helpfully.

Jason waved an arm towards her while looking Duke, as if asking him why he wasn't getting the point.

And Duke...really wasn't getting the point. In fact he seemed to be getting even more confused.

"Dick's a habitual monsterfucker, old news, so what? And it isn't as if every single one of you haven't had some kind of romantic relationship with non-humans before. Even Damian's dated Jon! Besides Heira did not turn us all into hamsters. That was a joke. Aaaand Ga-va'se is a great guy and he definitely wasn't a rebound. Also he and Dick broke up really amicably and they still meet up for boba and he gives us really cool alien shit so I don't know why you guys don't like him."

"Duke, Ga-va'se hunted us for sport", Tim said from the side.

"That was because we were in his hunting grounds! Plus he apologized for that!", Duke defended his alien buddy. The guy was really nice! What was their hang up with him? Sure he was a bit murderous but hey, Duke dared his siblings to find one person from each of their social circles who wasn't a bit murderous and insane. Sure he hunted them for the better part of five days in a terrifying alien jungle a galaxy away from home but that was honestly their fault for intruding on the hunting grounds of his people in the first place. Plus it was all a misunderstanding!

"I agree with Thomas", Damian said as he thumbed through the files Tim had distributed among them. Across from him Cass was doing the same thing, rapidly turning the pages. "Partially at least. The Yautja was a worthy candidate for Grayson's hand-

"You just like him because he got you that sword, Demon Spawn", Jason drawled in that assholish tone of his that never failed to incense Damian.

-Shut it Todd! Ahem. As I was saying Ga-va'se was worthy but Heira was an imbecile. Unfortunately there are more Heiras in Grayson's romantic history than Ga-va'ses so it would be prudent for all of us to remain vigilant", the youngest member of the Wayne family finished, closing the file decidedly. "Especially if his current choice isn't a redhead."

Duke had to ask. "Again whats up with the hair colour thing?"

Tim looked at Steph pointedly. "Officer Stephanie Brown please proceed with orientation."

A truly terrifying grin bloomed on Steph's face. She stood up from her chair and walked to the wall, pulling down a projector screen. A click of a button and it came alive, with what looked like an honest to god power-point presentation on Dick's dating life. Tim slid Duke an brochure of all things.

"Dick's choice of romantic partners can be classified into three categories", she began as if she was a lecturer. She was even wearing glasses. "Redheads, which everyone and their third aunt's weird dog knows about, morally ambiguous older men, and extremely dangerous non-humans. There are outliers of course, and overlaps, but generally he tends to keep his choices confined to these groups. Turn to page 3 please."

Duke dutifully turned to page 3, which looked like it contained profiles of the various people Dick's dated in the past. If it was any other family this would be a gross invasion of privacy.

"Exhibit A- Barbara Gordon, great taste, mostly downhill from here I'm afraid. Exhibit B-Slade Wilson aka The Terminator, no I'm not kidding, the entire thing is weird and toxic. And Exhibit C-the weird eldritch thing Dick dated two years ago who I'm pretty sure is Cthulhu's actual cousin who made us all taste colours for a week straight."

"Deathstroke?", Duke exclaimed, weirded out.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Thats who bothered you? Not Cthulhu's cousin?"

Duke huffed. "Their name is Umh'uidrritl and I know where to draw the line."

Tim side-eyed him. "On a whiteboard with an old marker maybe."

"Hey!"

"Back to my very important power-point that no one else is going to interrupt-",Steph said as she glowered at them, "-mapping Dick's dating history shows us that the more volatile of his partners tend to cause trouble post-breakup. A deeper investigation would reveal that while his harem of redheads mainly just stir up delicious, juicy drama, hot tea and angst all around baby, bless their souls, his harem of morally ambiguous older men, and harem of extremely dangerous non-human entities tend to lean towards more destructive reactions. While the former is content with kidnapping and threatening and the assorted standard yandere meltdowns-

"Yandere?", Damian murmured.

Jason just snorted.

-the latter likes to cause damage on a larger scale". The blonde gestured with a flourish and a new slide popped up.

"Exhibit A- That time Gotham almost got gobbled up like a light snack by that space whale pet of the Ryagonian emperor. Exhibit B- That time a Fairy Queen tried to spirit Dick away and almost put the entire city into an enchanted coma, which was honestly kinda festive, I'd never been more well rested. Exhibit C- That entire thing with the tentacles that we are all better off without revisiting."

Everybody in the room blanched at that last one. Duke nodded his head at their reactions. The ink really was hard to get off of clothes.

The screen went dark and she pulled the cord at the bottom, the projector screen rolling up. The blonde turned to them with a smug and satisfied expression on her face.

"In conclusion, despite there being no biological connection between them, and the fact that romantic and sexual preferences are not genetically inherited, Dick has managed to acquire Bruce's proclivity for an interesting dating life, which we all did if we're being honest. Its just that while Bruce dates across the law, Dick dates across realms and his romantic entanglements often happen to be so above our pay grade that its ridiculous. Data has shown that redheads cause the least amount of property damage so whenever he dates non-redheads, we have to keep an eye on the tea-I mean an eye on the situation."

She sat back in her chair with a satisfied air. "Questions?"

"Yes", Tim said miserably. "Did you have to bring Bruce into this? Like ew."

"I had to, yeah!", Steph replied cheerily. "You stole my croissant alienfucker!"

"Excuse you the alien fucks me thank you very much!"

Jason almost gagged. "TMI Timbo TMI!"

Duke frantically gestured at Damian. "Damian's right here!"

The boy in question just looked supremely unimpressed. "I was raised by assassins Thomas."

"Where's Cass?", asked Steph, munching on a packet of chips she produced from somewhere.

"Left this clown fest to assist Pennyworth in drugging father so that he can actually rest."

"Ah", said the whole room. Each one individually resolving to go to Bruce's room and get blackmail pics later. Sibling solidarity at its finest.

"Back to the matter at hand", said Tim, "Dick dating a possibly dangerous entity even remotely around the time frame when the Joker turned up dead is a red flag. And that's why our secret society is meeting today."

"Okay one, you think Dick's new boyfriend offed Joker? Two, this is a secret society?", asked Duke, his earlier confusion now fully evolving into resignation.

"I already filled out your documentation."

"What?"

"Don't worry. Everything's in order."

"Thats not...you know what? Thanks Tim."

"You're welcome!"

Steph chortled at the entire exchange and almost choked on her chips. Karma.

Jason leaned back with his hands behind his head.

"You know, if this guy merked the clown, and has no evil plans or something...I'm all for him actually. Guy has my vote. If they get married I might even decide not to embarrass Dickie at the wedding", he said while Steph hacked up a lung in the background.

"Be that as it may Todd, we still need to monitor the situation. If this Daniel did have anything to do with the Joker's death, then he is a dangerous individual who could pose a threat to Grayson", remarked the young Robin, and then as an add-on, "...and Gotham."

Duke sighed. There really was no escaping this was there? "So what do we have on the guy?", he asked Tim.

"Page 4. Name-Daniel Nightingale, prefers to be called Dan. Father, Vladimir Masters. Mother, Daniella Nightingale. Sister, Danielle Nightingale. Brother and sister are apparently vacationing-

"In Gotham?!, Duke asked horrified.

-and Dan met Dick during a Halloween Party in Bludhaven-

"In Bludhaven?!", Steph asked appalled.

"Why was a supposedly vacationing wealthy European in Bludhaven for Halloween?", Jason asked with a frown.

"European?!", Damian asked scandalized.

-And they hit it right off. As of now, they have been dating for five months and the relationship looks to be going strong. While the records seem legitimate, something's off about them. Also the Joker turned up dead on Valentine's Day. So my verdict...sus."

There was a bout of thoughtful silence.

Then.

"Daniella, Daniel, and Danielle? What the fuck? What are they? Clones?" asked an incredulous Jason, aghast at the unoriginality.

Duke scrutinized the provided photos closely. "Whoa, this Master's guy's genes really stood no chance! They all really could be clones for real."

Steph whistled. "He ripped!"

They stared at her. She sipped her boba unrepentantly.

"What? I'm right! He ripped!"

She was indeed right. He was ripped.

Duke put the file down. "So what's the plan? Do we just follow him around till we find out what he is or something?"

"Okay so the next week Gotham's got a week long 'Joker is Dead' carnival planned-

"Another one?", Damian asked surprised.

"We deserve it", both Jason and Steph reply vehemently.

-and Dick said Dan's taking him to the fair every single day of the celebration. If everything goes according to plan, we can sneak our way into the organizers, stall owners, ride operators whatnot and do some tests to figure Daniel Nightingale out. And if he's normal trouble we prepare for the breakup meltdown. If he's a different sort of trouble we deal with it."

"We gotta be careful though". Steph obnoxiously slurped her boba. "Or else Dick will deal with us."

They all shuddered in fear. Dick Grayson could be a mean bitch when it came to revenge.

"We'll just have to execute it well. Thomas will be adequate for the job. The rest of you fools will just have to step up, especially you Drake", Damian said as he crossed his arms across his chest, nose up imperiously.

The two robins, red and regular, sneered at each other.

Jason 'hmpfed'. "Sounds good enough. If that's it I'm gonna go. I got shit to do". He stood up from his chair and stretched, a symphony of cracking sounds coming from his spine. "Shit I'm old."

"You're just gonna re-watch Pride and Prejudice 2005 again". Tim also stood up, even more concerning popping sounds coming from his spine.

"Damn right I am", said the crime lord as he ambled out of the room.

Steph also got out of her chair and started collecting her trash, Alfred would kill he if she didn't. "I'm all in on this plan Timtam! Clown's dead, Gotham's finally calmed down, I went to bed early...No way I'm letting some ripped Adonis mess with my peace and quiet no matter how mouthwateringly swole he is! And he is swole!" With that she also swept out of the room.

"I'll update Cass!", she shouted from the corridor.

Damian had already disappeared. This left Tim and Duke alone in the room. When Tim also made to leave, Duke finally managed to break through the disbelieving fugue this entire meeting had pulled him under.

"So where's the plan Tim?"

"Oh", said the sleep deprived vigilante, already halfway out the door, "I emailed it you already."

And then there was one.

Duke just stood there processing that last sentence for a long two minutes. He sighed.

"So this meeting could've been an email."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dick is rather adventurous in his dating life. Helen of Troy vibes.

The entire operation reveals nothing suspicious. According to all the tests known to man and bat kind, Daniel 'I prefer Dan' Nightingale is a completely normal member of the Homo sapiens species. Not even a metagene. Just generously swole.

Duke being half immortal doesn't really get his siblings' reservations against some of Dick's exes. He doesn't realize that beings like Umh'uidrritl, who was not Cthulhu's cousin but a distant relative by the way, give most people incomprehensible nightmares. He on the other hand thought that Umh'uidrritl and his pet colossal hydrothermal squid were perfectly lovely. Though he and Damian high-key root for their Yautja friend.

There is absolutely no romantic relationship between Vlad and Danny. Dan and Danielle are just little shits who just love the horrified expression that overtakes Danny's face every time he sees their IDs for vacation time. To be clear its the Vlad part that horrifies him, he rocks as Daniella. Vlad, who is reformed here, is also horrified at this. Which is why the two little shits do it. Also the DP characters are all aged up. Could be by a few years, could be by millennia. They haven't deigned to reveal that to me.

Bruce spend the entire week under Alfred's careful supervision, getting rest and relaxation. He had spa days with Clark and Diana. He slept ten hours. He felt energetic in the morning. He hummed a cheerful tune. It was disgusting. He remained blissfully unaware of his eldest son's latest romantic adventure. Good for him.

Alfred thinks Ga-va'se was a splendid young man and that Umh'uidrritl was a lovely partner. He just wishes Master Dick would stop dragging in ruffians like that ill-mannered Heira every now and then. Truly a son of Master Bruce that one. What about that wonderful demon boy from a few years ago Master Dick? Mezarel was it? Oh he was sealed away, was he? Well bat your eyelashes at that man Constantine you and Master Bruce keep around and try to get that boy back will you? Such a well mannered young devil he was!

Alfred becomes that mother-in-law that never truly accepts Dan completely, still holding out hope for Mezarel to make a comeback. I've heard harems are wonderful this time of year Master Dick. A second husband would do you some good!

Dan finds this hilarious. His family does as well. Alfred also likes Dan. They have a weird understanding.

Cass likes most of Dick's exes. Except for Heira. Everybody hates Heira. Although Duke kinda likes him but even sunshine boy has his limits.

Yes the bat-siblings are doing this only for the safety of Gotham, not to also low-key annoy their big brother at all.

Yes Dan and Dick were aware of the hi-jinks.

Yes Cass did think they should just ask Dick.

Yes Dick is aware of who and what Dan is. He met him at a supernatural Samhain gala he literally stumbled into. He just rolled with it, celebrating the end of the harvest with the decidedly non-human revelers, and not only ate the food there but also drunk flirt with Dan.

Dan said, 'You're stupid. I like that in a human' and saved him from being stolen away by some very interested entities. It was the start of a beautiful relationship. Dani sometimes calls them the 'tits and ass duo' and she's right.

Danny is just happy that Dan found someone he loves and could keep up with him. He almost felt like a proud mother at their wedding and then had an existential crisis about it.

The family does find out Dan's real identity. It was after Dick accepted his proposal and it was hilarious. Jason meets Jazz at the wedding. He thinks he got infected with Dick's redhead fetish.

Yes this is all for my Dick/Dan propaganda. I hope you're not immune.

[demonicbaby666]

Could you pretty please with a cherry on top write friends to lovers, one bed trope with the amazing Jennifer Jareau 😍 I need all the fluffy love confession and if you could manage maybe a little bit of spice 😅 thank you!

One Room Left

One shot | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists

Fandom: Criminal Minds 

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff and smut

Words: 4.8k+

Warnings: : fingering (R and JJ receiving), oral (R), swearing, there's not really any topping or bottoming going on...

Summary: It's just your average friends to lovers fic. Reader and JJ share a bit of an awkward moment that seems to shift their dynamic and open their eyes to a truth they aren’t sure they’re ready for.

a/n: I do apologise for how long it took me to write this, but I did it! I like the beginning, though the end is meh ☹️. I know I slacked a little with the spice but I really just wanted to get this finished and posted, so hope you enjoy! 💜 (not proof read well so, as always, I apologise for any mistakes)

Your eyes fluttered open to the sound of the front door shutting and a blazing alarm clock penetrating your eardrums right by the side of your head. The morning sun slithered in through the small gap between the curtains, offering rays of light to shine through the room and fall steadily on your face, warming patches of skin. 

Opting for not smashing the insipid device, you mindlessly reached over to turn off the infernal blaring, shuffling out of bed and padding towards the faint hums coming from the kitchen, wafts of coffee growing stronger with each step. 

JJ was standing by the coffee machine, hips swaying to a quiet melody she’d most likely been listening to in the car, that was now stuck in her head. Blonde locks were tousled over petite shoulders, hypnotically moving side to side, and her hands moved around fishing out utensils she needed, showing just how familiar and acquainted she was with the confines of your apartment. 

“By all means, make yourself at home.” you deadpanned, causing JJ to jump. 

“When do I not.” she replied, cheeks beginning to take on a light rosy hue as she struggled not to let her eyes wander over your body, clad in a silk night dress that stopped dangerously high on your thighs, “Get changed, we have a case. I’ll put this in a to-go cup.” 

“They’re in the-” 

“Top cabinet to the right, I know.” she smugly interrupted, the corners of her mouth twitching skywards to form a boyish smile. 

Turning back around and heading back to your bedroom you couldn’t help noticing the routine you and JJ had found yourselves in, natural, that’s what it felt like waking up and her face being the first you’d see. A weird tingle buzzed through your body as you slipped into your work attire. The humming from outside your room had reconvened, which you didn’t mind one bit, in fact, it made it impossible to wipe the dopey grin off your face. 

Ever since you joined the team you and JJ just clicked, the connection and kinship growing with each case, each girls night, each smile, each laugh - laughs that drowned out the heaviness of the job and the reality of what you’d both, day in and day out, have to deal with. 

Leaning on each other came naturally, which was weird for the both of you, being that you’d habitually keep your walls up around everyone, too afraid to burden the ones around you because, let’s face it, they had their own shit to deal with. 

Yet somehow, those rules never applied to each other. Feelings, doubts, and worries slipped out easily enough, the security of holding each other whilst streams of tears trickled down your faces never once left either of you feeling vulnerable or weak. At some point, words seemed unnecessary between the two of you; reading facial expressions and body language had become second nature, you’d found someone who somehow knew you better than yourself at times, and you her.

After a few minutes of shuffling around in the bathroom, you made your way back out to JJ, who was already standing by the door, keys in hand ready to go. 

“Someone’s eager to get going.”

“It’s not like there’s a life on the line or anything.” she humorously quipped, arching an eyebrow and holding out your coffee.

“Fair point.” 

Reaching out to grab the cup, your fingers brushed over JJ’s, but she didn't pull away. Instead, she let her fingers linger under yours. Blue eyes locked onto yours and the room disappeared for all of three seconds before she abruptly pulled her hand away and averted her gaze to the door. 

“Come on slowpoke.” She called out over her shoulder, already out of the apartment. 

What the hell was that? And why was your hand still tingling from the feel of her soft skin against your own? You shook yourself out of your stunned state. Taking a deep breath, trying to push aside the last minute, you told yourself your elevated heartbeat was completely normal, thinking it safer to assume you had a heart condition than feelings for a friend. Assuming otherwise was a dangerous path to go down and you couldn’t afford to blur the lines between friendship and something else, not when you’d finally found someone like JJ, you couldn’t risk losing her to fleeting moments that had the possibility of amounting to nothing. Pushing forward you locked the door and followed JJ to the car. 

The drive over to Quantico was as it always was, filled with off-key singing and barrels of laughter. You’d never tire of hearing her laugh, the symphony was a gift from the gods, eliciting a warmth to coax your whole body into a state of comfort you’d spent the majority of your life denying you needed. 

As JJ’s eyes were fixed on the road, it allowed you the time to appreciate her true beauty. Her blonde hair, sporting waves that morning, bristled against her face as she bobbed her head to the blasting drums coming from the speakers. It was always funny to you how JJ still found ways of surprising you, firstly it was her love of rock music - that she’d somehow managed to get you into - then it was how atrociously messy she could be. The first time you’d looked into her desk drawers, in search of a working pen, it took everything not to gasp. 

When you turned back to her in shock, her face revealed a look of pure innocence and slight wonder. When she’d asked, “Did you find one?” so sweetly, you hadn’t the heart to let her know finding something as small as a pen in that mess was all but hopeless. The real kicker was about five minutes later she’d walked over with three different pens, and you had to admit, it may have been a mess, but in true JJ style, she knew how to navigate through it. 

Her slender fingers tapped on the steering wheel in beat with Killing in the Name of, lips pursed and head continuously moving around, it was safe to say, she was in her element. And by god was it both hot and adorable? Wait. Hot? Friends could most definitely admit they found the other stunning, it wasn’t unusual - right? Right. The butterflies in your stomach that accompanied distant looks of unbridled passion? That was an issue for another time. 

Before a wave of unruly questions could plague your mind, JJ pulled into the parking lot and found an available bay, ushering you out of the car and towards the elevator. The briefing went by pretty fast and soon enough everyone was headed to the jet. Once you were up in the air everyone gathered around to go over victimology before splitting ways and doing their own things. 

You moved to the sofa, JJ following, which wasn’t uncommon, however, what was, was the distance she was keeping. The gap between your two seated bodies felt cold and foreign, it was the first sign that something was off. JJ pulled out her phone and got to work beating a high score on whatever new game she was addicted to - she seemed to have a new one every couple of months. 

Not wanting to draw attention to something that could in fact be nothing, you opened your book and started reading. 

An hour had passed, and the jet's occupants had all settled, it was quiet, eerily quiet. Maybe it was the fact you were used to chatting with JJ, or that usually you’d have some form of physical contact with her, but now you had neither. You tried to act normal but with each passing second your thoughts grew louder and louder, the words on the page made no sense, and for the fifth time, you re-read the same sentence, still not processing it. 

Defeated, you slammed it shut, drawing the attention of several sets of eyes, “Major character death.” You announced. 

JJ leaned over to look at the book sitting closed in your lap. A small smirk tugged at her lips; her eyebrow raised as she picked up the book. It was Pride and Prejudice, a book she knew moderately well, and one that contained no such death. 

“You know, if you’re going to lie, at least make it a believable one.” She placed the book face down on your lap, letting out a small chuckle through her nose before going back to her phone. You were thankful for the game or whatever had her full attention, it meant she’d fail to see the crimson hue that now burned bright on your cheeks. 

After the jet landed, the team split up to work on the case. You and JJ went your separate ways, JJ claiming she had a couple of questions she wanted to clear up with the M.E, which was complete and utter bullshit that you saw right through but didn’t mention. 

Emily drove the both of you to the local sheriff station, sitting in comfortable silence, you replayed the events of the morning, nothing was different from the normal. Of course, there was the coffee cup incident, you’d felt the shift in the room, though you attributed your inability to react like a normal human as the reason you thought it held such gravitas. 

The car came to a halt, “I don’t think I've ever heard you so quiet.” Emily’s voice rang through the silence. 

“Mmmm.” Your attention glued out the window, while your mind was elsewhere. 

“Alright out with it, what’d you do?” 

“Hey!” You snapped, finally turning to Emily, who was grinning ear to ear. You tried to fight it, but a small smile crept into your lips, “Why does it always have to be me who did something?”

The traffic lights changed and she refocused her gaze to the road ahead, “Because it’s you.”

“Hmmm, can’t argue with that logic.” 

It went quiet for a few seconds, “So… JJ’s acting weird…” 

“Thank fuck!” you said a little louder than needed, “I thought it was just me.” 

Emily parked up and turned back to you, “You want me to talk to her? Find out what you did to piss her off.” 

“Honestly you have such a way with words Emily,” that earned you a playful slap to the side of your arm, “It’s fine, I’ll have a chat with her later. Both of us need to focus on the case right now. We all do.”

Although the rest of the day was stressful, it was better, easier even, to focus on the case than endure the torturous thoughts of a certain blonde. JJ kept her distance, it was easy enough for you to pick up on it, the team seemed not to notice, too busy focusing on the case, which you should have been doing. 

Instinctively Emily came to your side now and then, offering comforting smiles and light touches. Unbeknown to you, Emily had only done this when she’d caught JJ’s eyes roaming over your sullen state. 

Dusk came, exhaustion weighed heavy on the team, having spent the day endlessly scouring through paperwork, Hotch knew it was time to call it a day, telling the team to head to the local motel. No complaints were heard. JJ instantly beelined her way over to you, instilling the fear of God into your pounding heart. Then she smiled, she smiled that signature cheeky tight-lipped smile, and instantly you were at ease, “Ride with me?” 

For some strange reason, a light blush rose to your cheeks, “Lead the way, chauffeur.” 

The walk to the car was unsurprisingly silent, willing your stomach to crawl in on itself. How had things changed so fast? Why had they changed so fast? There were more and more questions running through your mind as you pulled the passenger seat door open and hopped in, this couldn’t wait. Before JJ had even finished buckling herself in, your lips moved of their own accord, letting out emotions you’d tried to keep locked away the entirety of the day. 

“JJ, what’s going on? You’ve been off with me all day. Did I do something? Did you do something? God, I can’t stand this, I half thought when you were walking up to me you were going to knock-” 

“Wow, wow, wow,” turning quickly towards you, JJ cut in, worried you were about to pass out from the air you’d been depriving yourself of. Your trembling hands, resting over your thighs, stilled when she placed hers atop them, running delicate circles into the soft skin. “Breathe. Just breathe for a second.”

And you did as you were told, closing your eyes for a split second, you focused on the rise and fall of your chest, the pounding of your heart, the feel of JJ’s hands prying all the distress from your body with each small stroke on her thumbs. When your eyes fluttered back open, you nearly lost it all over again. Her blue doe eyes had only moved an inch closer and there was still a good distance between the two of you but seeing her - even just that little bit closer - sent you toppling into what could only be described as a childlike state of wonderment. 

Her eyes shimmered in the dim light of the car, small bulbs of light reflecting lowly in her pupils, her cheeks jutted outwards from the small smile she wore, and you let yourself get lost in the comfort she was exuding. This was JJ, this was what she did, she didn’t need to have her arms around you to embrace you, it was her smiles, her banter, her laugh that coaxed your body into a state of relaxation. Safe, JJ was your safe haven.

“Better?” 

“Ya, thanks,” you looked down at your lap, staring at the small contact that meant so much to you. Her hands were just about to slip away, you’d missed her all day and weren’t ready to let go of the moment just yet. Interlacing your fingers between hers, you lowered her hands back down to your lap and met her ocean eyes once more, only now you used your thumbs to run circles over the backs of her hands, “Talk to me. What happened today Jayje?”

“It’s just the case,” she sighed, “I’m exhausted that’s all and I didn’t want to take it out on you. So, I thought it’d be better to distance myself a little.” 

“You are your hyper-independency,” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, “don’t push me away though. I mean it, or I’ll be forced to pry the truth out of you in some other way.” 

“That sounds slightly ominous.” She said with a raised brow.

“Let me provide some clarification.” You untangled your hands from hers, lunging forward over the console to torture her with light tickles.

Giggled, she giggled, over and over until she could barely breathe, “Okay! Okay! MERCY!” She begged, hands flying to your shoulder trying to push you away. 

You stopped, the mood quickly shifting as you stared into her eyes. She stopped pushing you away, her fingers settling over the curve of your shoulders, “Promise you won’t push me away like that again?” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, darting her eyes over your face, then to the loose strands of hair that had escaped throughout the day, “Promise.” She whispered, tucking the strays behind your ears. 

It was like déjà vu. Feelings within you - much similar to the ones you’d experienced that very morning - awakened, your stomach fluttered, skin suddenly on fire, flushed with nerves, and an odd trickle of excitement. 

You had to stop, the lines were blurring, and you couldn’t lose her. JJ may have said it was the case that goaded her into keeping her distance but deep down you knew that wasn’t the full story, and you couldn’t afford to risk another day, another week, a lifetime of not being able to have her close within the parameters of friendship. So you pulled away, tore your eyes off of her, and hoped things would be okay again. 

The drive to the motel was a short one and it was unsurprising to see the whole team had already arrived. No one other than Emily was in sight as you and JJ walked into the lobby. 

“Everything okay?” You asked Emily. 

“Only one room left,” she replied, looking between you and the blonde. “And since you two got here last…”

Great, sharing a bed with the woman you were trying to suppress your feelings for. Just great. 

JJ nudged your shoulder, “Looks like you’re with me.” 

“Oh gosh! However, will I cope!” You teased.

“There’s no hope for you,” she said with a smirk. Placing a finger to her chin in mock thought, “I guess you could just sleep in the car.” 

“Nice try. But you can’t get rid of me that easy.” 

She side-eyed the key and sat on the front counter, “Is that so?” 

“Don’t even think about it.” You warned. 

“Too late!” Swiping the key, she bolted out the door in search of your room. 

Quick on your feet you ran after her, “You little shit!” 

“Children. I work with children.” Emily said to herself, smirking and shaking her head. 

Once you finally caught up to JJ, she’d just about opened the door, crashing into the back of her, you rugby tackled her to the bed, closing the door behind you with your foot. A series of laughter filled the small room, a warmth spreading in your chest hearing the sweet symphony rumble in her throat. You slumped down next to her, both of you staring up at the ceiling as laughter faded into silence. 

“Chicken.” She whispered. 

“What?”

“I want to play chicken. I ask a question, and you answer.” 

“And if I get it right?”

“Just close your eyes okay?” she breathed out. 

Shuffling to get a little more comfortable on your back, you shut your eyes and waited.

“My favourite colour?”

“Easy. Turquoise, like your birthstone.”

JJ moved closer. 

“One of my fears.” 

“The woods, because, how’d you put it? Yes, because they’re the woods.” She let out a breathy laugh, scooching an inch closer. 

“On my right arm t-.”

“There’s a scar you got when you were nine, you were playing with Rosaline, a wheelbarrowing game gone wrong.” 

Everything went quiet, then the bedsheets ruffled; you could feel the heat radiating from her body, her breath tickling the side of your face, and the smell of her perfume permeated your senses.

“Look at me.” her warm breath tumbled into the shell of your ear, causing your heart to stop within your chest. Taking a well-needed gulp of air into your lungs you opened your eyes and turned around. You were so close to her that your noses were practically touching. Tears were brimming on her waterline. As she searched your eyes they retreated, fading into the milky white sclera. 

“Hi.” She whispered, hot breath warming your lips. 

“Hey to you too.” 

Her eyebrows knit together, “I don’t want anything to change between us.” 

“Why would they?” you questioned. 

She retreated back in on herself, regret washing over her face and she began to move away, “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” you couldn’t let this moment fade, not yet, not like this. Reaching a hand out to her waist, you pulled her body against your own.

“You’re my best friend, the one person who gets me, who knows me. I don’t want to lose you.” It was hard to read her expression through the haze of tears forming, but the way her body relaxed under your touch told you it couldn’t have been one of discomfort. 

“And you won’t.” She uttered, her lips ghosting over yours, “ever.”

“Then kiss me already.” 

Closing the minimal space between you, JJ leaned forward, taking your bottom lip between her own. Fireworks set ablaze in your stomach, and sparks of passion ran through every vein in your body, traveling and dispersing a tingling sensation over your skin. It was unlike anything you had ever known, with one kiss JJ had tipped the world around you off its axis. 

The kiss was gentle, you let her take what she wanted, set the pace, and live in the moment. You needed to know this was definitely what she wanted. Her slick tongue ran along your bottom lip, asking for permission to take things a step further, and you happily obliged, parting your lips to let her in. Her tongue danced in unison with your own, and a small moan tumbled out your mouth into JJ’s. 

She threw her leg over your hips, sliding herself on top of you and resting her hands on either side of your head. Her head tilted sideways, deepening the kiss as your lips moved as one. 

“Is this okay?” she whispered against your lips.

“It’s more than okay,” you replied, placing your spare hand on the small of her back and pulling her closer against you. 

Undeniable passion grew within the kiss, it was faster, harder, and less controlled. Moans and whimpers merged with one another, and you stopped trying to figure out whether they were coming from you or JJ. 

There was next to no space between your two bodies, and as JJ’s shirt rod up you could feel her soft skin against the thin material of your t-shirt. Desperate to feel more of her, you ran your hands along the exposed skin, relishing in the sounds that came from JJ as you did so. 

Taking a chance, you let your fingers trail higher, grazing against the underside of her breast, then taking the globe and squeezing it. JJ sat up, prying her swollen lips away from yours, in one swift move she pulled her blouse over her head, taking her bra off with it. Reaching out for your hands perched on her waist, she guided them over her perky breasts. 

Her head flew back the moment you began massaging the supple flesh, bottom lip wedged between her teeth, holding back moans. Unable to hold on any longer you pulled yourself up and took a pert nipple into your mouth, letting your tongue circle around to hard nub. JJ’s hands became frantic, fumbling with the bottom of your shirt, needing to see more of you, all of you. 

Clothes were quickly shed off, puddles of material scattered around the motel room floor. Hands explored and wandered over each other’s bodies. A heat pulsed between your legs, your slick lips were pressed against JJ’s thigh, and it was becoming near impossible not to grind against her, desire for some sort of friction becoming overpowering. Slowly cantering your hips, a whimper spilled from your lips when your clit rubbed along JJ’s toned thigh. You could have screamed when she pulled it away a few moments later. 

“Please.” You didn’t know exactly what you were pleading for, nor did you care, you’d take anything JJ would give. Her hand trailed over your stomach, moving further and further down until they were right where you needed them to be. Two fingers ran through your dripping folds, gathering your arousal on her fingers, then back up to circle your clit. A high-pitched wail caught in your throat, your hands wrapped around JJ’s neck and thread through silky blonde tresses, needing to feel her lips again, there would never be a second - you now knew - that you wouldn’t need them. They completed you; she completed you, filling a missing piece of your heart, one you didn’t even know was gone until she showed you what it was to be whole. 

JJ's lips moved to plant kisses along your jawline, reaching your neck she lightly sucked, bringing blood to the surface of your skin, likely leaving a mark. It felt too good to tell her to stop, concealer existed for a reason after all. Her lips wrapped around a hardened nipple, sucking with so much purpose it sent a whole new wave of wetness to pool between your legs. Your back arched pushing yourself further into JJ’s mouth, her free hand came down from beside your head to tweak the neglected nipple. 

Your skin burned, sensitive to each touch, every caress, and you no longer made a conscious effort to silence the small mewls spilling from your lips. Keeping her fingers trained on your clit, she continued her descent, leaving behind a trail of red blotches along the planes of your stomach. 

Her fingernails grazed down your ribcage, and it was as though they were scorching themselves into you, the line left behind burned and tingled in the most delicious of ways. Propping yourself on your elbows you beheld the view, blonde hair cascading over your thighs, obstructing you from seeing what JJ did next. She pulled her fingers away, before the pleasure had time to subside, she pushed her wet fingers deep inside you with no warning, her hot mouth engulfing your sensitive bundle of nerves at the same time. She repeatedly started laving it with the flat of her tongue. 

Dual pleasure sent your body crashing backward onto the bed, her fingers set a steady pace inside you, and the wet sounds of your sex and JJ’s tongue only served to further turn you on. Your moans were getting gradually louder as JJ picked up speed. Her fingers worked harder, thrusting further and further into your dripping sex until she was knuckle-deep every time.

A tension was forming low in your stomach, between moans you were helplessly trying to pull in what oxygen you could, but it was helpless. You gripped onto the bed sheets, hoping maybe they could keep you anchored. 

A third finger slipped inside you, filling your tight canal fully. All three fingers curled, caressing the ridges of your inner walls, pulling out to the very tips then pushing all the way back in and effortlessly hitting your g spot. JJ kept up her new routine, hearing the effect it was having on you. She alternated between sucking, licking, and teething your engorged clit. You pried your hands away from the sheets, gripping onto JJ’s hair instead to hold her in place as you moved in rhythm with the fingers she had inside you. 

The world around you faded as your whole body gave out on you, and your hips jerked off the bed, thanks to JJ’s hand on your stomach, they didn’t get far. She sucked harder and her fingers pumped so fast they had you seeing stars. The tension in your lower stomach was at an all-time high, your walls clamped around her fingers, holding her in place as she fucked you to your breaking point. With one swipe of her tongue, you unravelled - panting, and sobbing as your orgasm crashed over you. Your head pressed hard into the mattress, mouth agape pulling in drags of air through silent cries. 

Slowing her movements to a halt, JJ waited till you rode out the full extent of your orgasm before sliding her fingers out. When you finally opened your eyes, her head was moving up your body, settling for a few moments in the nape of your neck, peppering feather-light kisses over the salty patch of skin, your fingers appreciatively traced circles into her scalp. You both contently hummed, happy to just live in that moment.

“You’re beautiful.” The words vibrate against your neck and for the first time in your life, you truly believed the statement. 

Guiding her up by her head, you joined your lips together, moaning at the heady taste of yourself. Overtaken by a primitive need, you flipped JJ on her back, a squeak of a surprise cut short when your lips came crashing down to silence her. Taking the stickiness on your thigh as an indication, you slid two fingers into JJ. 

It was overwhelming to feel all of her, have her completely, you’d never wanted anything or anyone more. As you carried her to her peak you kept your eyes glued on her, a thin sheen of sweat clung to her skin, her chest rose and fell, and her tight stomach muscles tensed over and over. Her moans were hypnotic, your new favourite sound, and you’d die happy if it was the last sound you’d ever hear. 

“You’re perfect.” You whispered into her ear. With that final push, she came all over your fingers, crying out a modicum of incoherent syllables that resembled your name. She pulled you into her and kissed you. You poured everything you felt into the kiss, tears of joy prickling in your eyes as you felt her return all the love you willingly gave.

That night you fell asleep in her arms, the arms of your best friend, the arms of the woman who knew everything about you, the good along with the bad, and loved you all the more for it.

Tags: @criminallyobsessedcm | click here to be added to my tag list

[teencopandthesourwolf]

Darling one <3 my prompt word is "tummy ache" which is alarmingly fitting right now.

hope this helps, boo!

.

It's early, too early for daylight.

Derek opens his other eye and assesses the situation: puffs of air on the back of his neck, too abrupt for normal breathing. 

Beside him, Stiles doesn't so much shift as jerks a little, as if he's trying not to move any more than that small amount. 

"Hey, you doing okay?" Derek whispers.

Beacon Hills sheriff might have an inkling that Derek has been climbing though Stiles's perpetually open window for the past two years or so—in the daytime. But Derek is positive he doesn't know about the sleeping-with-his-only-son part that has been happening for the last few months. Because Derek is still alive.

So. Whispering it is.

Silence.

Then a pitiful, drawn out groan. 

"Stiles?" 

More groans. Then a croaked, "I'm dying."

Derek is on Stiles in a millisecond. "What is it? What's wrong? Stiles? What's—" and his hands are flying over every inch of the kid. 

"Shit, Der, I'm not really dying," Stiles whispers back, batting Derek away. 

Derek wouldn't need to be looking at Stiles to know the face he's pulling.

"Ugh, feels like it though. My tummy hurts so fucking bad right now. I can't get comfy, I can't get back to sleep and I hate everything and everyone and I would honestly be perfectly okay with passing over to the other side, now. Like. RIP me. Swear to God, Der, the afterlife never sounded so good." 

Derek rolls his eyes. His very human boyfriend is so very fucking dramatic. 

Boyfriend.

Thinking about him and Stiles like that still makes Derek's stomach flip like he's fourteen again. Even when he's smooshed up right next to him in bed. He wonders if that will ever change and immediately doesn't think it will. 

Derek peers down through the gloom at a pained looking Stiles, then instinctively flicks his eyes to the numbers glowing a dim blue on Stiles's alarm clock. 

4:32

Stiles is about to say something but Derek quickly silences him with a hand placed across his mouth, essentially gagging him. 

Just when Stiles looks as if might sink his teeth into Derek's fingers, there's an ominous creak on the landing, and they both simultaneously stop breathing. 

Thud. Trickle. Drip, drip, drip. Flush. Running water. Creak. 

The town's sheriff is nothing if not habitual.

After another moment, Derek removes his hand but puts a finger to Stiles's lips to tell him to stay quiet. Then he strokes Stiles's cheekbone as he shifts a bit in the bed, until he can place his other hand gently on Stiles abdomen.

Derek now focuses all of his thoughts and senses on Stiles, until there's only Stiles, everything Stiles is. Until he's aware of Stiles's pain. Until he is Stiles's pain. Derek's face twists a little with what is a really nasty, sharp feeling but looks up to thankfully see Stiles's features smoothing out as the hurt drains from his body. 

"Dude," Stiles whispers, before his eyes widen and he's slapping his own hand over his mouth—his dad could still be awake. 

Derek un-grits his teeth and cracks his neck, removing his touch from Stiles and flexing his hand a few times as the pain in his arm starts to fizzle away. 

Better? Derek asks silently with raised brows. 

Stiles grins so big it makes Derek's heart thump harder in his chest. 

Dude! Best. Boyfriend. Ever! Stiles mouths back, in such an exaggerated manner Derek's pretty sure even a person who speaks no English could tell what he said. 

Given the current hushed situation, Derek supposes he'll let the dreaded 'dude' slide.

(Realising for the first time that he's completely head-over-heels in love with this adorable idiot has absolutely nothing at all to do with it).

[aechii]

heyyy can i request some angst where neymar cheats on reader with some model and he gets manipulative because he wants reader to stay with him but eventually she asks kylian for help because she loves neymar but wants to leave him and she has no idea how? like kylian is reader’s best friend so he gets very protective please?

₍⁠₍ HARD 2 LET GO ₎⁠₎

PAiRiNG ?! toxic!neymar x black!femreader , bestfriend!kylian x black!femreader (?)

GENRE ?! angst

C/W ?! cheating, controlling behaviour from none other than neymar, unrequited love because i love this trope hehe, kylian = second lead, when the second lead is better than the first lead, reader deserves better, toxic (by britney spears) relationship, neymar is aged down to 26, kiss kiss, did i mention CHEATING?!?!?

A/N ?! before i say ANYTHING, i wanna thank @jaehyunsblkgf for being the faceclaim of this fic !! gorgeous, just absolutely gorgeous 🖤

i have two more cheating requests to write, and i'm genuinely wondering why tumblr loves cheating fics alot lol 🥴 imma still write them anyways, but won't post them consecutively fyi. ENJOY THE FIC <33 (yes, i changed the course of this fic a lil because yes, i intend on making this TOXIC ⚠️)

~°~

the first time it happens, neymar is rapid to quench any uncertainties that his girlfriend inevitably begins to think. dismisses the pictures, that clearly show a figure too akin to him to be someone else, with a washed out reiteration of love and endearments, and [y/n] gifts him another chance. thinks she's reassured because, truth be told, they had been together since they were 19 and have supposedly established a level of trust so high that she found it hard to believe that he would cheat on her.

second time it happens, now, the humiliation is tautly encompassing, and [y/n] knows she should've seen it coming. when the same thing had occurred beforehand, she had embarassingly defended her boyfriend on every social platform available, ignoring every inch of criticism that flew her way after that. refused to see something that was so clear, right in front of her, and isn't karma a bitch? she hadn't done an inch wrong to neymar, yet had received the brunt of the insults. wonders why she had tolerated such self-disrepect from herself because of a man that feigned adoration for the past 7 years. because, if he truly loves her like he said he has, not a fingertip would be in the pool of infidelity.

but neymar is drenched in it.

completely soaked in lies and disloyalty and [y/n] finds it- him- unbearably pungent. the sight of him before her taints her eyes with something close to vehement rage. doesn't understand why neymar proceeds to defend himself and the striking model he was accompanied by during the night out, as if it would reform her diminishing love into its former.

"do you really care for that model than you do for me?" [y/n] asks, arms blithely crossed upon her chest. neymar's reaction is instant and almost grounding.

"no! no, i don't! why would you think that?" there's an undercurrent of something, that [y/n] notices but cannot pinpoint what. sees it in the tremor of his hands and his dilated pupils.

"you waste your breath defending her, but for me? it's 'better to ignore the hate than to feed into what they want'." recounts what neymar had said all those months ago, and the sensation of abhorrence is habitual.

the man rolls his eyes, throwing his hands in the air, "i thought we agreed to let that go, [y/n]. stop bringing the past into the present."

she feels a visceral scoff hurl out of her throat, "not when you're doing the same shit again-"

"and i'm telling you i'm not cheating!"

[y/n] knows that neymar will do anything to prove his rightfulness. an attribute that, some days, is heart warming to see because it shows that he truly cares. but now, when his hands strike the table so hard that some of the bottles topple unto their sides, a feeling riddles her body and it's nauseating.

neymar isn't violent, she's thoroughly aware of that, and it hurts [y/n] that she has to be distrusting of that. but he's an enigma, a russian doll if you will, disclosing many layers that take many years to unravel.

"neymar-"

"just listen to me, [y/n]," he takes a deep breath, "they're jealous, okay? they'd do anything to break us up and you know this!"

"so you're saying that people online faked the pictures... twice?" it's nonsensical when she says it aloud, and evokes a laugh from her.

"come on, don't be stupid, neymar!"

"oh so me trying to prove i love you is stupid?!" he seeths. [y/n] shakes her head at his words, "no, it's the fact that you're trying to disprove something that's evidently true, that's stupid."

neymar just stares at her, palms gripping the chair so tightly that their colour begin to fade to white. [y/n] is undeterred and does the same back, eyes begging for him to finally tell the truth, no matter how irreversible it is. yet, neymar, dignity so saturated it was practically impossible to quell, brings them back to square one.

"are you really going to let go of a relationship you've been in for 7 years because of shit you heard on twitter?" his question punctures her mind, and a turning point is almost that light (?) at the end of the tunnel. can't lie and say that he didn't get her thinking because he does. the longevity of their relationship alone is enough to establish a firm base of trust, and rightfully so.

"listen ney," [y/n] sighs, rubbing her forehead in frustration, "i really want to trust you-"

"and you should! do you really think i'd throw all of this away? 7 years going down the drain?"

his words make her scowl, really doesn't understand why he continues to his case that's so obviously swallowed in shame and accountability. ignorance is bliss, but absolutely smells like bullshit, and [y/n] is over his never ending lies that don't add up.

"the evidence is fucking there for you to see, neymar. i swear we're going in circles," begins to stand up from where she had been seated in front of her boyfriend, "this isn't the first time this has happened."

neymar's dumbfounded, "you didn't believe me when i said i didn't cheat last time?"

confusion is apparent, and [y/n] can't help but roll her eyes.

"the fact that there is a 'last time' speaks for itself."

she walks into the kitchen, grabbing her keys from her kitchen counter. she doesn't have them for long as neymar snatches them out of her hands, looks at her with something equating to a horrible mix of shame, frustration and rage.

"where do you think you're going?"

she doesn't waste a second to answer, "kylian's."

she watches as his face morphs into a livid frown, lines scouring his skin deeply. he has always hated how close the two were, but there was nothing to prove that they had anything that pertained to non-platonic feelings.

"why there?"

an eyebrow raised, [y/n] begins to state the obvious, "because i'd rather be with my best friend than stay another night here-"

"you're not going."

"fucking watch me then."

proceeds to turn around to walk to the front door, but a firm grip circling her bicep stops her.

"i said, you're not going."

[y/n] tries not the the sliver of fear paint her face, putting up an undazed façade as she yanks her arm out of his hand. turns on her heel and ambles towards the exit.

neymar's voice comes from behind her, surging ice cold dread through every limb. knows that once she leaves, it's an unspoken but finalised end to whatever they have.

"if you go, you'll have no way back inside."

wishes that she hadn't felt the last minute apprehension that commences its path down her spine, but slams the door after herself anyways.

+_-

"i told you to leave him, [y/n]."

kylian's voice is soft, as if to not lacerate the fraying sanity of the girl whose head finds rest upon his shoulder. feelings that shouldn't exist, do anyways, and knows better than to let his heart rule over his head. [y/n] is- was- neymar's, a well known fact, yet knows it will be a trial of tribulations for someone to get over a 7-year relationship, if they ever will.

"so did marquinhos, and sergio... and-"

"i know, ky, i know," voice quivers and has to pause to continue, "it's way harder than you think."

attempts to not let her words get to him, glad that he's not in her line of vision, and rather, his shoulder is, "i'm aware. but i would rather you cry for days outside of this relationship than continue to be hurt in it."

she finds truth in his words, truly does, and wishes that her heart was fully ready to move on, but realises that it was stagnant at 50/50 and finds it harder to even think that they're relationship is over.

"i know i have to leave him, ky, i do. but i just can't."

kylian is quick to shake his head, "yes, yes you can. you and i know you both deserve better."

"ky, i've been with him for 7 years. 7 tedious years-"

"and even so, you're still only his girlfriend!"

it's painfully silent, and kylian mentally slaps himself in the face at his own words, condemning his mind from disassociating itself from his mouth and leaving it to its own devices. curses under his breath as the warmth draws away from him as the girl lifts her head, staring bullets into his head. he can't find it in himself to look at her, head hanging low.

"kylian, what do you mean by that?"

takes a few seconds to gather his thoughts and feelings from the spillage, and replies, "it's true, [y/n]. i'm not rushing you into getting married or whatever, but if i was dating someone for 7 good years, i'd be damned if we haven't already gotten married."

[y/n] thinks he's finished, opening her mouth the respond to the newfound opinion of her best friend, but is left completely shell shocked at the words that follow.

"especially if it this person was you."

finally makes eye contact with her, and [y/n] vividly sees the genuineness of everything he had said. vividly sees how he looks at her and the realisation that neymar had never looked at her in such a way is gratifying.

kylian wishes he could tell her just how much he loves her. a magnitude way bigger than the distance from the moon and back tenfold, he treasured their mere friendship as something lifelong and holy.

"kylian-"

"i love you, [y/n]. so much. you don't understand"

the girl is completely winded, mind frozen to conjure a reply to his confession. kylian was deathly good at hiding his feelings, and hadn't even shown an inch of romantic intentions towards her. and now, she really wonders just how long it's been, and how much she's let slip through her fingers.

"how long, ky?"

he exhales, leaning back against the couch, "it's been a while-"

"how long?"

thinks for a few beats, and even surprises himself when he does the maths and adds the years up, "8, maybe 9 years."

"that long, kylian?" she doesn't bother to disguise the incredulity in her tone.

"yeah, and i'm sorry for not telling you, but you were so head over heels for neymar and who was i to stop my best friend from being happy."

[y/n] hates how defeated he sounds. can't fathom how much willpower it took for him to push down feelings he's held for her for so long. feels guilty, and her face shows it.

"don't look like that, [y/n]," kylian's voice is stiff, and he stares straight into her eyes. finds himself subconsciously gathering her hands in his, heart revelling in the fact that she accepts the gesture.

"it's not your fault that i love someone who isn't meant for me." bursts out a self deprecating chuckle and looks away, but feels his head being drawn back in as [y/n] turns his face to hers again. the contact is gratifying, and kylian can feel every string yank at the muscles of his heart. can't help but faintly smile at the sight of her.

"stop speaking, kylian."

"or what?"

a few instants of silence pass and he waits to hear her voice again. her faces contorts and relaxes, seemingly having an internal battle within herself, and kylian nudges her hand with his head to jolt her back to reality.

"what will you d-"

"i'll kiss you."

kylian mbappé is a brave man, has lived through events that one would classify as daunting, but as he utters the next few words, he doesn't deny the anxiety and fear that meander through him.

"do it then... i dare you."

so she does. doesn't expect to feel delicate lips upon his, slipping the taste of cherry into his mouth. his reaction is almost instantaneous, and doesn't waste another second before moving his mouth, savouring the grooves and dips and sweetness of the girl in front of him. wraps an arm around her gently to bring her closer, but the kiss stops not long after to save air.

[y/n] rests her forehead against his, panting lightly as their eyes swallow in the picture before them. accepts that kylian emits a smile from her, him returning it, in a way she never would've thought, and concludes that she would probably be alright with that.

[saraculberry122]

Sammy Ingram Is A Liar

I have known Samantha a.k.a. Sammy for over 10 years. We used to be extremely close friends up until recently. I had to cut her off, because my self, and some of our other friends called her out for constantly lying in her videos. She has already cut off Other friends for calling her out. One of our friends, Tallia, called her out over a year ago, publicly, and Sammy pretended to not know who she was. Sammy has been a habitual, and pathological liar her entire life. She used to lie about her race, and heavily edit her photos and tell people that they weren’t even when it was extremely obvious. She would tell people she was Hispanic, then she would tell people she was half black. She knows how to manipulate people into believing whatever she tells them. I will attach messages to this thread. I was recently blocked after trying to upload a video about the situation on YouTube, she reported my video immediately, and it got taken down for bullying and harassment. I tried to re-upload it, but since my kids were in the background of my video, I think it’s safer, if I don’t.

She always tries to silence everyone who calls her out. She cuts her friends off and blocks us. Then she pretends as if she doesn’t know us. She has never manifested anything in. This is not her first time using social media to scam people. She has admitted to us that she steals other peoples videos. She has sent me links of other peoples post and videos, saying she was going to make a video like it. She talks shit about her coaches, and even tried to scam some of them. Which is why her coaches are constantly leaving. She always says she doesn’t care about her clients, she just wants to make money. She always complains about her clients and her situation is calling them names and laughing at them for being desperate.

Around the time of her father‘s passing, and I reached out to her and told her that I pray she stops lying and does the right thing. She got mad at me and wouldn’t talk to me for a few months. When she did reach out to me she told me she would confess publicly. me and Tallia, are used to create google accounts, and Facebook, pages and fake success stories for her. We were commenting, 20 or 30 success stories under all of her post. When she started her Facebook group, we would post success stories from accounts we created. She literally asked us to do this, so that people would buy her coaching and think she was legit. And she used to buy her Instagram followers. She used to tell people she was Hispanic, which is not true. She would lie about where she is from. All she does is lie. She never manifested Bobby, I have no clue how she made him agree to even filming videos about it. But I’m sure she Gaslite him or manipulated him as she did so many people we know.

She has a burner Twitter account that she used to use to bully people online. The account is still active and she uses it to defend herself, pretending to be someone else to anyone who sends her hate online. She pretends like it’s a supporter but it’s actually her. You may have noticed this account around. She blocked all of her friends on this account along time ago, so I don’t remember the name of it. I’m sure one of you can find it and figure it out. I years ago, she would always create fake accounts to bully people or make herself seem better. Since she is a good liar and manipulator, it’s usually easy for her to get away with everything. I’m sure she has brainwashed her followers into believing everything she says. she loves playing the victim and always has. Every time she starts some thing with someone, it’s always their fault. She is constantly throwing rocks at people and then hiding her hands. This has been going on way before this YouTube channel.

I’m sure like always. She is going to pretend like she doesn’t know me. The same thing she did to TALLIA I will see if I can find a picture of us together. Please help me get this message out. I worry for her son Major Devon Ingram every single day. I pray he doesn’t end up like a pathological liar like his mom. I tried to tell her for years she needs to confess to all of the fucked up stuff she’s done. She continues to say she will, but I doubt she will ever. I cannot wait to see how she will lie and manipulate her way out of this.

[yellowocaballero]

I just finished your New Wave fic. I’m convinced everything your write is gold. I loved your TMA fics, with the most heartbreaking demon AU imaginable and the hilarity of Fahrenheit 101. I loved your moon knight fics, starting with Steven talking to animals on the reg at work to the system growing closer with a focus on Jake, i- there’s- it’s sooo much packed into it. When I’m on burnout, of art or writing (maybe life in general at times) I revisit your work and am thrown back into a creative headspace.

You are my favorite writer, you cram so much meaning and thought into your work and it shows. The characters are dumbasses and say the most ridiculous shit and turn around the next chapter and say the most thought provoking thing, and I don’t get whiplash from it because these characters just work! They just do, and I… am very much off track!

Anyways I just got into Batman and reading your fic is fueling that flame! I can’t wait to see what you have in store next, and I shall now stalk your blog for writing tips! I hope you have a nice day broski 💙

Thank you!! This is so sweet thank you so much! This ask is so nice!

Trust me, if there's meaning then it's because I get obsessive over these fics and I massively overthink them. I honestly wish I was better at making simpler, more elegant stories. I feel like nothing I do is truly going to be good until I can find that simplicity.

"Dipshit who says stupid stuff and then turns around and spouts ridiculous philosophy" is just how I talk. But I habitually approach my life from a standpoint of finding humor in everything, if only to soften the blow. I was once told that it's really hard to tell when I'm joking, because everything I say is always half-joking and always half-serious. I feel like that's pretty evident from my narration too...

As for writing advice...um, I was just speaking about this with somebody. When you're plotting a story, the first thing I like to figure out is what I'm trying to say. Everything else should be built around that. The joy of writing is that I think we all have something we want to say, or something we want people to know, or that we have an aspect of ourselves and our lives that we want to express. Most of the time, trying to convey those things verbally just results in a frustrating approximation of your true feelings. I find that when I manage a successful story, the depth and scale of what I'm trying to impart is fully understood and felt. It's rewarding. I think if people aren't understood on some level, by somebody, they kind of die.

Thanks for the sweet ask!!

[extrasweetcoffee]

Riddle and Cater's Friendship is Being Slept On and I Want to Ramble About Them

This has been sitting in my drafts for a bit, so I'm just gonna post it to get it off my chest since why not. This is gonna get mega TL;DR, so more under the cut. Also spoilers for TWST JP content and several personal stories.

Basically, a few ideas that almost exclusively happens in fan content with Cater angst at the forefront has been sitting at the back of my mind for a while now. Usually (but not always) it'll have: Riddle being portrayed as a mega asshole towards Cater, Riddle stealing Trey from Cater, or portray Trey as a bad/neglectful friend towards Cater when none of that very accurate, if at all.

Okay. First off, it's not impossible to have multiple best friends. Trey was already friends with Chenya before meeting Riddle, and the two are still buddies despite attending different colleges. My guy is 18; he can handle a social circle just fine.

Second, Cater is practically the second vice housewarden if you think about it. Riddle trusted him to lead a group with the unbirthday setup and management in Cater's dorm vignette, Riddle acknowledges Cater's importance as the mood-uplifter of the dorm during Halloween II, and we learn in Masquerade that Riddle trusted Cater's advice to get a better haircut (Riddle was really out there with the Rollo cut lol). There's more instances I could name, but you get the jist - Riddle isn't the kind of character to go putting this kind of faith onto some randy.

I get the feeling that people see that one line in Cater's gym story and roll with it without thinking more about the context behind the dialogue. In that story, Cater knew he was breaking school rules by using his magic in class to cheat. Trey probably would have told him to do his exercises normally, since it's kinda his job as a vice dorm leader to make sure his boys aren't fucking around. If it were Rook, Jamil or Lilia, I have no doubt they'd do the same with their own dorm members. Plus, Riddle already knows Cater is a habitual bullshitter, so it's not like Cater had any chance of lying to his face and getting off scot-free if even if Trey wasn't there. (I wanna say this is a problem caused with the EN's translation being a bit blunt at times, but honestly I think people would still misinterpret this scene regardless).

Yes, Trey and Riddle have the more familiar relationship so Trey may prioritize Riddle over Cater if the option arises which would hurt the latter boy's feelings. But truth be told, Cater already had attachment issues LONG before NRC; I doubt Trey being Riddle's second in command or him trying to tide over Riddle's tyranny during his tenure as housewarden was changing much of anything between them. Cater couldn't muster the courage to break his facade long enough to give his (possibly) closest friend a non-superficial wish for the Starsending, even after Trey called him out for using the same one three years in a row. Cater purposely keeps people at an arm's length, and I wouldn't call Trey a bad friend in this case for respecting Cater's boundaries. Also Trey is possibly the only person in NRC who's aware of Cater's tastes and often makes him spicy food (or uses Doodle Suit on sugary foods so Cater can stand them).

Like shit, if you think about it Riddle's friendship with Trey is probably the main reason why Riddle likes Cater and is willing to tolerate his quirks in the first place. Riddle knows Trey Clover of all people would never squad up with absolute fuckbois such as the faceless NPCs who always start shit. Trey trusting you at all is one of the strongest forms of friendship clout there is, which is probably why Rook isn't on Sage Island's sex offender registry (as far as we can tell).

While Riddle does get annoyed with Cater's easygoing habits and tendency to cut corners, it's not a behavior he exhibits exclusively towards Cater. Riddle is a man of high standards, especially when it concerns Heartslabyul's integrity. He isn't singling out Cater for shirking his responsibilities any more than he would Ace or Deuce. And like I said before, Riddle does give credit to Cater when it's due. Riddle was even willing to help Cater with his test via utilizing Cater's social media addiction (and they're probably still mutuals on MagiCam, which is a cute thought).

I'm not saying people should stop doing this exact trope. After all I'm just some rando on the internet and I certainly don't have any more right to police what people do in their own time more than anyone else. Also the ex-dorm leader Cater headcanon, which is a favorite of mine, pretty much thrives off these tropes. Really this is me airing my thoughts about this as someone who likes Riddle and Cater's companionship and eats any crumbs the game and supplemental content gives me. I guess my thesis for all this would be some characters have better relationships than is read at face value.

Anyway that's my TED talk, I hope you have a good day :)

[riftdancing]

I'm back!

Question four! Blink Vaniro. Seemingly reformed raises a question. Does she miss any particular thing from her old life that she can't/shouldn't do now? Is there a scenario where she would go back, to whatever it was she was doing?

Disclaimer: I love writing flawed characters, but Blink one of my most flawed. I want to first and foremost remind those reading, Blink is a fictional character. Just because she thinks or feels one way should never be a reflection of my own thoughts, opinions, or feelings as her writer. Thank you.

I'll be blunt. Blink misses a LOT of things revolving around crime. Crime is easy. Its a simple solution to many situations if your moral compass is flexible enough and given the way she was raised (the daughter of a Sky Pirate Captain) hers certainly is.

Vaniro grew up with crime. In a lot of ways it was even habitual to her. In some minor situations the impulse is still there, despite her keeping it on a tight leash these days, and Rex keeping her on a tighter one. Originally Blink was a simple independent contractor for Firelight Trading Company. Whatever job she was given was accomplished with the rule being she would stay on the right side of the law, and the pay was damn good.

Later on, after a good amount of contracts with FTC, Blink signed on as full time employee. But, kind of like a tiger in a zoo, Blink requires enrichment if she's going to be staying on the right side of the law. Originally, she wasn't getting that enrichment. So, boredom began to set in, and when Blink gets bored she yearns for the mischief of crime.  It's like an itch she cannot scratch.  She wants to antagonize.  She wants to pick fights.  She wants to cause problems on purpose.

So when Rex challenged her one day (and disrespected her shortly thereafter), Blink with no tolerance for being disrespected, gave him one chance to turn it around before having the balls to walk out on his employment.  Which, by FTC standards, is pretty unheard of.  It's rare that someone tells Rex no, let alone quits.  To which it only further sparked his interest in her.  It made him want her.

Long story short, the two spent a few weeks playing cat and mouse, Rex with the intentions of dragging her back into his employ, and Blink flat out simply enjoying the chase whilst drawing up what intel she could on him.  (This is how these two flirt, though neither of them will admit it.)  This ended in a big brawl (more flirting) where the pair wound up absolutely destroying a bar in Kugane.  Rex bested Blink, something she's not used to, and in a lot of ways it made her realize there's a lot she could learn from him.

I won't go into the nitty gritty, but despite some of the themes I'm about to touch on I will say consent is paramount between Rexonus and Blink. No matter what act Vaniro might put on, especially being the tsundere she is, nothing she does for anyone is ever against her will. Which is funny because she thrives when she is working under a superior. I think I wrote it best during some roleplay between Rex and Blink where he called her a hound. ...Because truthfully, he's not wrong.

He was right. Vaniro was a hound. She was always another's dog. Her Father’s first, then Das’, even the Empire’s. When the leash was taken off, it was like she didn’t know what to do with herself. Sure, she had her own personal goals. Goals she’d achieved. But the last five odd years had been spent in a stalemate with herself. It was a crude way of putting it, but she couldn't argue the truth.

Listen. Blink is a boss woman in her own right. She doesn't take shit from anyone unless she wants to. It takes a very powerful, patient, and caring person to wind up filling the shoes of her superior. But that's when she's at her best. When there is someone there driving her to be better. Someone aiding in giving her purpose.

Rex stepped into those shoes. He's done a lot for her beyond that too. Thanks to Rex, Blink has been going to see Shiro frequently for therapy sessions. Sessions which have helped her grow more comfortable with the idea of letting people in rather than constantly pushing them away. Since becoming romantically involved with Rex and emotionally involved with the FTC staff, she's become a lot more healthy mentally. But this means she's developed attachments, and this woman would do anything for those attachments.

Like forsake a life of crime for their safety. Not that she'd ever admit it to any of them though.

:)

[notmuchtoconceal]

From the banks of the river marched the steps. From the muck, scumflows poured down craterprints of his boots into steppes.

Seated on a stone, wide so the cleave nestled his cheeks, Brother Jacek sat soaked in the depths to which he had plunged, his men bravely walking off sepsis as they clenched their stabwounds behind him.

"I like Brux when he's manly," he said aloud to himself.

Staring at his own shadow. Starring at the dancing grasses. The dancing grasses he longed to smoke, to feel himself lie back well-reclined within himself, knowing only good food and good music at tangerine sunsets of a perpetual dawning, well-alive and well-aware of the multitude within and without, wanting only needlessly, needing only to want.

"Sometimes he's so beefy and broad. He's uncouth with a violent strangeness which is dazzling as it is coarse. Like a horsehair tail sprouting flytraps or any manner of strange things which blur the vegetable from the insect, with a fuzziness at most arachnid."

These words. There must have been truth. Some were certainly his.

"Why does he insist on being written as this absurd and outrageous sissy? Is it all Joey's lies? Some of it has to be Joey's lies. What percentage of the things that Joey says are totally lies? (I feel anyone who believes in proper syntax is a liar who wishes to modulate my biorhythms along some arbitrary pole. Drunk you is real you. Sobriety is the Lie that Hey Zeus the Wino sold to his habituates.) Brux can't possibly be a bigger liar than Joey and Laika. In some regards, Brux simply has to be the lesser of two evils. Brux is so much better of a team bitch than Laika. Laika fucking sucks at being team bitch. Holy fuck. He either lies there and takes it or lies there and enjoys it lewdly and disgustingly or lies there and hates it and it's literally rape but he won't fuckin say anything. He won't even be like .... 'hey bro, stop fuckin rapin me!' or 'bro i'm real fuckin pissed bout all those times you raped me.' Naw, man. He's just like ... gonna sit there and hate you and not mention those times you raped him. Fuckin coward. Every time you rape Brux he won't shut the fuck up about it. He goes over the PA and lies about how many times you raped him so now you don't even know if it was an implanted memory or if you really did rape him. Why would anybody rape Brux? Does he get hotter when you're drunk? Do you think he would look extra rapeable if he was sober and you were drunk? I think you should get real drunk at a time when you know Brux has to be sober and see if you rape him. Why would you do this as a thought experiment, just make it happen, bro. Big bro rapes Brux all the time anyway. Maybe Brux is insane because big bro rapes him too many times. Maybe Brux is insane because big bro won't rape him. Brux is always tryin to get big bro drunk and big bro still won't rape him. I think he definitely did fuck with your memory, either surgically or through hypnotic suggestion."

The fifth of the Jacekobean men, falling to his knees.

Howling. Howling as he clenches the holes in his gut.

The first, moving forward.

Eclipsing him by the mountainpeak of his silhouette, grabs him. Grabs him by the throat and hammers him, hammers him in his perforated guts. Squirting out tarblack jets of bile to free the warm red blood.

Howling.

"THANK YOU, SIR BIG BRO, SIR!"

The second Jacekobean man screeches and waggles his tongue in the air. He encoils with the third, as the sixth encoils with the seventh. In rhythm, arms around shoulders and head locked against head, fisting each other in the open guts, aiming to raise intestines as worms after fresh rain to greet the sun at a daybreak of perpetual gunmetal red.

Brother Jacek leapt up.

"GOOD SHIT // FUCKIN SHIT TEAM, THAT'S WHAT I WANNA SEE."

They throw themselves to the muddy banks at his boots, each barebacked, barechested, scalp shorn by the flint.

"You have not earned the right to kiss my steeltoes. Polish them to a mirror shine with your lips though you will. What I decree to the wood will be heard by all, carried far by the birds which sit on these branches, flow far with the waters which lap at these roots. Slithering through the mud all seven of you will give me your skins. In a spectacular coat the color or every white man, a rainbow of snow shall I be in albino gator, rolling hills of elephant and peacock. I am the train always coming, though in the dead of night I am heard by all, none dare meet me at the station."

Licking the rocks. Bloodying their tongues.

Licking the lichen. With bloodied tongues.

Eyeing the mirrors of his toecaps where their faces compress as a diamond back to coal in a hydra of blistering faces, they press out their tongues, looking up piteously, never daring to defy fully and let the tips touch the edge where some glimmer of his greatness they would taste unduly, well-trained were they in the etiquette of proper brutality.

"Homeward, we are bound. My will I will make known."

"SIR YES SIR."

Leading him far, his stray heart knew every wind. So far off-trail, he knew the hardships of forging shortcuts. Positioning sight, he saw always through the thickets to the trails he would blaze, content that few would knock down walls to make doors, dice metaphors to make word salad, hearty ruffage though it was, for rabbits unfit to sear their stakes.

[peanutrat20]

you know what i need just because i think it is the dumbest thing and it is funny in my head?

i need donnie to go off on leo about how his species is stupid because he's an invasive species that people have turned into a pet.

because this boy loves doing research on things so who better to go searching for answers for things like. what kinds of things do they need to supplement their diets with? or, what are specific things they might need in the lair for each of them? what kinds of things should they watch for habitually?

you search red-eared sliders? you get that shit instantly.

alligator snapping turtle? spiny softshell turtle? ornate box turtle?

you better have a good shovel. because you have some digging to do.

you can find the softshell and box turtle info after just some surface digging. because while not as common they are still occasionally pets.

but you have to do some really deep digging for snappers. because usually the only places they are kept in captivity is in places like zoos or sanctuaries.

i just think it's funny because the first thing you get searching for red-eared sliders is things on how to care for them as your pet. you want where they live naturally? that shovel you used to find info for the other three. you might need that again.

i just think it is funny to think of how pissed donnie would be trying to find information on him mikey and raph after instantly finding it for leo.

[concealeddarkness13]

WHG 20 Day 2 - Ares

This is my last one for today! Tagging: @ratracechronicler (thanks for Atwater!), @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @drabbleitout, @grailfish, @forthesanityofsome, and @pied-piper-of-hamlet!

I went out to look for more tributes, but they were hard to find, and, well, I should have brought someone else, because at sunset, Primary decided to start the fucking visions again.

It was all the same shit, with me killing my friends. It was almost familiar enough to be more annoying than traumatic. I tried to find a safe-ish place to rest, stumbling through the forest.

And I heard some rustling, so I tensed and looked around even if I couldn’t see. “Hello? Who’s there?” Just because the person could be a tribute that Triel recruited, I couldn’t use my magic right away.

“Just a racoon.” I couldn’t place the voice.

I looked over towards them, but of course, I couldn’t see anything besides me killing the people I cared about. I summoned my black flames to my hand. “Don’t come any closer! Who are you?”

“Alright. Can you see, kid?”

They didn’t sound threatening. I shook my head. “Not…not at the moment. But I can still fight.” I jutted my chin out.

“That is a theory I don’t want to test. Just stand still. There’s no one else around. Nobody’s attacking.”

I relaxed a little but didn’t get rid of my flames. “Who are you?”

“The guy from 4, the one who can’t walk straight. Hugo Atwater. What’s your name?”

I blinked. I recognized his name. “Triel said she recruited you. I was supposed to keep my eyes out for you. Didn’t think this would happen so soon.” I waved my hand over my eyes. “I’m…Ares. District 1.”

“Ah…we have a mutual friend.” Something thumped. “I’m guessing you looked a little too closely at that sunset, Ares?”

Triel had mentioned something like that, but no, this was Primary. I shook my head. “No, unfortunately, this is something different. I kind of have the soul of a god who wants to use me as a vessel trying to convince me to destroy my soul by showing me killing all my friends over and over until they get tired.” I shrugged.

“…Well, that does put a bit of a damper on your evening plans, I imagine. Have you tried blasphemy? I’m sure you get that a lot actually, but gods do tend to hate that sort of thing, I’ve heard.”

“I’ve already called them a crusty shit, and that didn’t make them leave. It’s fine. Once they get tired, I can bring you to Triel!”

“Oh, you can do better than that, kid. Ahoy, crusty shit. My mum’s god’s got ten arms and a tiger. You’re out here bothering a teenager with war flashbacks like some two-dimensional cartoon ghost. I’ve met mollusks with more backbone. I don’t believe you. Ares, there’s a nice flattish log coming up to your knees a few paces two o’ clock. Take a load off, kid, and let the little sleep paralysis demon tucker themself out.”

Who is this mortal? I like him. He’s amusing, too amusing to not listen to him this one time.

The visions blurred, and as I sat down on the log he had mentioned, they went away. I blinked and looked around. I was in a forest, and it was indeed Atwater standing near me. I stared at him. “That worked. They said you were too amusing to not back off for now.”

“Well, at least I’m good for something.” His eyebrows went up a little. “Wait, can you see again?”

I nodded. “Well enough. Don’t know how long they’ll let me though.”

“This is a…habitual thing for you two, then?”

I nodded again. “Ever since the interview. I’m used to it by now.” I shrugged. But this didn’t matter. I could see again! “But now that I’m not blinded, I can fly you to Triel’s camp!”

He didn’t look convinced about what I had first said, and he looked even more concerned after I was said I could fly him to camp. “You can fly.”

I nodded, standing up. “I can change into a phoenix. You wanna see?”

“Hell, yeah.”

I…I could make him proud. I wanted to make him proud. Like…like my dad. I transformed into the phoenix and squawked at him, tilting my head to try to ask if it was ok if I could pick him up.

“Yeah, that checks out.” He grinned, and I couldn’t help the warmth in my chest. I made him proud! He even gave me a thumbs up! “Badass, kid. Oh—we’re gonna do the flying thing now? I mean, you can try, but don’t strain yourself.”

I could easily carry a person, so there were no worries there! I squawked again and ruffled my feathers in happiness before I flapped my wings and flew up to get some momentum before grabbing his shoulders to fly him towards the camp. He held tightly to my claws as I flew him, also holding onto his spear.

He looked stressed, and honestly, I was getting really fucking tired, so I set him down close to the camp but not quite there. The mutts were coming soon, but my magic should keep us safe.

I glanced over at Atwater once I transformed back. “We can walk the rest of the way, if you’d like.”

“That would be ideal,” Atwater wheezed, but before we could get walking, the howls of the cat-dog mutts echoed through the night, and I tensed and readied to protect Atwater from them, but a fireball scared them off, and Chess hobbled into sight, holding tightly to a small mutt who was snuggling up to her. She was cooing at the mutt. What the fuck?

Atwater collapsed quietly as I stared at her, collapsing as well, since I had gotten tired. Chess looked up and smiled. “Ares! You’re okay! We’ve been worried! And Atwater!” She hobbled over, the mutt crawling up to her shoulders and lying down with a yawn. “You’re safe! I’m so glad!”

“Uh. Right.” Atwater sat up and looked over at me. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, standing up and tilting my head at the mutt. He had a calico color, with a dog’s face, but one cat ear and one dog ear. And his feet and the end of his tail looking like a ghostly smoke. “I’m fine. More mentally tired than anything.”

“Well. Splendid.” He sighed and lay back down, waggling his fingers at Chess, glancing at her in askance.

Chess sat down next to us, so I collapsed again. “I thought I had seen a runt mutt with the others, and they had been mean to him, but look at him! He’s so sweet!” She held him out to Atwater.

Atwater nodded, handing him a stick. He leaned over towards me. “Not to pry, miss, but you seem to be experiencing more gravitational issues than someone in full health ought to. Is that half-rate shitstain in your head bothering you again?”

I looked up at him, not wanting to admit anything. “I’m not tired.”

He looked over at Chess. “Did she or did she not very recently mention being tired?”

Chess tilted her head. “Technically she mentioned being mentally tired. Not sure if that’s the same thing.”

I grinned. “See? I’m fine!” Not moving.

“It is the same word, you infants,” he tutted. “You can’t ‘yes, and’ each other out of a breakdown, physically or mentally. For fuck’s sake. Since you’ve elected to lie there in perfect health, then, at least quit trying to transform into a nautilus now and stretch your legs out. You’ll get bad circulation curled up like that, and your spine will stab you in the back in 20 years if you make it a habit. And drink something.” He fished out a flask, shaking his head.

Chess laughed, and I sighed and took the flask. “Yes, dad.” Fuck. The words had slipped from my lips before I could stop them. My cheeks heated up from embarrassment and takes the drink. It was just water, unfortunately.

“Belay the sass, or you’re grounded, young lady.” At least he hadn’t made a big deal about it. I just handed back the flask, still embarrassed.

Chess sat up more. “I can lead you two back to the camp! It’s not far!”

Atwater pocketed the flask and pulled himself up with the spear. “Great. On further examination, my legs are not, in fact, gelatin, so I’m good to go. Lead the way, Chess. Ares, I expect you can run circles around me, given how very fine you are, but try not to rush too far ahead for the sake of my fragile pride and all." He offered me a hand, and I took it to help me get up to walk.

Chess stood up and put the mutt on her shoulders and cheerily started leading the way. And to be sassy, I transformed into the phoenix and flew up and landed on Atwater’s shoulders so I didn’t have to walk, since I was actually tired. Atwater just whistled, acting like he didn’t notice.

[electrificata]

having music critic thots abt the weeknd im so so sorry

i saw the weeknd in concert last summer, it was amazing. i really dont like stadium shows usually, but his was killer, he had a cool stage concept (gently mad max-ish cult leader and his dancer-disciples, giant inflatable moon) and he's got the presence to fill up all that space. and ive been listening to him for almost a decade, obviously the music's there. actually the show i was at was where he debuted the trailer for the idol. its out now and i havent watched yet. i thought it looked cool then, but after everything ive heard.....im just really ambivalent.

in the early days, when he was keeping mysterious, no press, no photos, you didnt even know if the weeknd was a band or a guy. just this chilly, atmospheric, sleazy/sexy horror-movie r&b. nothing supernatural. but cruel. the lyrics were all about the worst kind of fuckboy shit, and obviously drugs, and the music really seemed to give proper weight to it. the speaker in the songs was awful, the music was telling you that his actions were violent and terrifying for the women he's hurting and for toxic for himself. if youre a person attracted to men, you know what its like to see how awful a guy can be and still be into him, maybe even BECAUSE of how awful he is. thats a fucking horror movie. those first xo eps are crazy, i still listen to them.

then he goes pop star. i remember the collab w/ ariana grande in 2014 was surprising but it found a perfect, plausible midpoint between their two universes. then he goes full max martin in 2015 with "can't feel my face" and again, bizarre to see this plausible way for the prince of darkness to get to the top 40 via a neo-michael jackson jam with a veiled drug reference as opposed to multiple explicit ones. but it made sense! he danced onstage now! i remember hearing it on the radio when i was picking my cousins up from middle school, that felt surreal.

and he just kept on doing the popstar thing. i dont think the sleaze ever really left, it just receded into the background. killer atmosphere, more pop hooks, a general darkness that felt credible coming from him because of the early stuff, its just lit with neon now. he gets increasingly more conceptual, which i love. i love a concept album. its still about fucked up relationships and now death more generally instead of drugs specifically. cool, great. i've been with him the entire time. that brings us up more-or-less to the present.

im not gonna recap all the shit around the idol, if you want it im sure theres an article or youtube video thatll do a better job than i can. ill just summarize my own thoughts: it feels like the sleaze is back, maybe some of the horror, but also Glamour. johnny depp's supermodel daughter has cum on her face. we're seeing headlines about how gross the sex scenes are. look how Glamorous this is. classic showbiz trick of using a cautionary tale about gross men preying on women to just....create images and narratives about gross men preying on women. this might be the place i cant follow him. i cant rule out watching it, i am a habitual hater and i might be in the mood to hate soon. but its making me think about the way we use glamour and beauty in entertainment. it cant be a default, it has an effect on the story.

[mechanicalwilds]

((Ok I need to write this ramble I've been thinking of or I'm going to like. Explode lol. I've been working on this on and off for a few hours so bear with me.

Character rambles under the cut))

Kel is such a mess offscreen and like.. that never really gets shown and I think only a couple of my friends who I've talked to ooc really know about it!

Like

Kel's always been a "I'm going to make the best of this" kind of guy, right? But it's not like.. it's not good for him! At all! Like at all. Ok? Basically since he was rezzed he's been off trying to help with solar-system-ending level shit. He was a year old when Beyond Light happened which was canonically his first big mission and probably the most traumatic thing to ever happen to him ever. But that's like, that's fine that's whatever.

But it's not fine because like, as much as he's a relatively stable and level-headed person the people around him are not. Zorra and him have a very close sibling-like relationship but she's still getting her wings, and he feels like he needs to protect her from getting hit by all the heavy bullshit that's out there all at once. And oh geez Ambra.. following her around since he was rezzed has not done any favors. Imprinting the "we just have to keep going no time to dwell" mentality on him super strongly. And on top of everything he's still trying to be the optimist, to the point where he feels like he has to because everyone around him is hurting so much, they need something stable to fall back on.

(Now don't get me wrong I completely love these dynamics he has?? I think it's so fun and interesting to see how things pass down through these characters!)

This has had like... a lot of effects on him, down to what abilities he favors. He used to run Void for a long time. I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that coming back from the dead isn't a comfortable experience; and Kel sucked at staying alive (still isn't the best at it). That plus "we just have to keep going" mentality... in his early days he was basically drawing his strength from his own repeated dying over and over again, dwelling in that discomfort and it really was. Not good, mentally. He habitually neglects the things that make him feel like a person, though less so nowadays. It took a lot for him to draw himself out of that (and the help of friends.) He still struggles with it sometimes.

Switching to stasis made things a little easier. Instead of relying on that discomfort he was relying on his own will, and in turn it made it easier not only to manage himself but to stay alive in general. He still struggles sometimes, still has to learn, but overall it's been a bit better. Stasis is about control and part of that for him is keeping himself well.

AND NOW WE HAVE STRAND which is so so extremely opposed to how he's been handling himself thus far. Strand is about letting go, going with the flow and that sort of thing, which you'd think wouldn't be that big of an issue if you take him at surface level. He's chill, goes with the punches and keeps the team at ease when things are tough, right? EXCEPT when you factor in the traits he has under the surface. His whole life as a Guardian has been about either restriction or micro-managing himself. Suddenly needing to let go has proved to be more of a challenge than he anticipated, because it strikes so harshly against a lot of what he's built up in order to be able to take care of himself and those around him.

I've kinda lost track of where i was going with all this, you know how these can get. Kelsey is my sweet boy that cares so much it ends up being a detriment to him and he doesn't know where to stop even for his own health. And he's never gonna show it on the surface because Traveler forbid those he needs to be strong for see him crack under the pressure.

[citadelofswords]

For Annabel + Kari: 🥂/ For Reuben/Marlowe/Morden: 🍭/ For Sable+Skye: 🥄/ For Max + Merril: 🍰 aaaaand for any/all of them: 💐

right jade has literally given me only ships that involve their characters (and the ot3 with a character of @strangeharpy) so obviously they both have free reign to contradict as needed

annabel/kari + 🥂 - how was their first date?

i feel like annabel probably made a whole plan to do something really nice because she thought that's what you need to do for a first date (having never been on a date before and only seen them on TV or in movies) and they got out to the restaurant and kari looked at her and was like "honestly i kind of thought we were just gonna get takeout and watch ghost shows on youtube"

to which annabel was like "we both make ghost shows for a job"

and kari was like "yeah all the more reason to drag other people who aren't doing it as good as us"

so they took the upscale restaurant food home and did exactly that.

reuben/marlowe/morden + 🍭 - what are their nicknames for each other?

ok so reuben is the person who uses endearments instead of names to refer to people; the key is to recognize what nicknames are them being a flirt and which ones are true endearments. "sweetheart" is a name they give to everyone; "tomcat" i think might exclusively be them being a little shit to morden; marlowe didn't get an ironic endearment for a long time because reuben was trying to be someone they weren't and maybe that was a sticking point for marlowe for a while. once they're together i think reuben sticks to affectionately calling morden and marlowe by name. that or the occasional love.

wow that was long. anyway morden is a "darling" and i'm genuinely not sure if marlowe nicknames either morden OR reuben. (for the record reuben accepts "ru" or "rube" as shortenings of their name but "ruru" is off-limits.)

sable/skye + 🥄 - who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon?

sable little spoon rights. i think sometimes they will big spoon skye but they prefer to be held close.

max/merril + 🍰 - which one bakes/cooks?

oooooh good question. i think merril likes to bake, but max might be the better cook, BUT since max tends to get lost in projects more easily you'll find merril cooking a LITTLE more often.

any/all of them + 💐 - is one more protective than the other?

this answer, for all of them, 1000 percent depends on the situation. more specifically: annabel and kari both habitually don't care about things and are more willing to let the other fight their own battles, except in very specific circumstances (i think annabel, confronted with Her or the hotel, would inherently be more protective of kari since that's a power she knows neither of them can combat) reuben also is willing to sit back and let morden and marlowe fight their own battles UNLESS it has to do with the Authority (whatever that might be in this universe) in which case they WILL rain hell down sable, knowing that they are the one person She cannot touch, will put themselves between skye and Any situation at a moment's notice, which is i think the One point of contention the two of them have merril is Extremely protective of max almost too a fault, but she's also like that with sol and (begrudgingly) kerri, and i also think she and max are the comic of the two people bending around each other to try to take the bullet sooooooo

wow this got long sorry folks hope you enjoyed tho

ship hc asks (ocs only please)

[alexilulu]

Books I Read in 2024 #15: Slow Horses (Mick Herron, Soho Crime, 2010)

River Cartwright is an up-and-coming MI5 agent on the rise, until he flubs a terrorist bombing training exercise due to a case of mistaken identity. For his crimes, he is banished to Slough House, a remote London clandestine ops site that the 'slow horses' are banished to, consigned to endless drudgery until they quit rather than force them out. When a young second-generation Pakistani immigrant is kidnapped by far-right British nationalists planning to execute him, and River identifies one of the drudgery jobs he's been placed on as connected to the kidnapping, drawing all the Slow Horses into a tangled web of mistaken identity, murder and foul play.

I've already talked about how much affection I have for the British spy novel, so I won't belabor that point here. I like em, and Shannon's mom recommended the show to us and watched the first episode with her during a brief visit in town, so I grabbed the book and ended up finishing it before we finished Season 1.

Slow Horses is an interesting novel. Reckoning with the advent of modern British racial politics in the pre-Brexit era is a hell of a topic, and...It does alright. It's fine.

Slow Horses strengths are in its use of voice and feeling to build rapport with the cast, as it spends a fair bit of the story bopping around between Hassan, River, and the other Slow Horses. They're all very strong voices of their own, and they all rule in their own right. Every one of them has a good, fairly straightforward reason to have been relegated to the back of the pack, so to speak; River's botched exercise that caused MI5 to take a publicity hit due to everything that went down, Min forgetting a Top Secret document on the tube and finding out on the radio, Ho being just so genuinely unpleasant that he had bounced around 10 times before landing in the Horses. It's all good, well thought out characterization, and it's the meat on this bone for me.

What this novel does not do great with is acting as a mystery, or a story you can solve (I know, this again). There are several points during the novel in which it cuts away key information for you to build suspense. It's a crime thriller by way of the security services, that's just how it is. I enjoyed it, and it gives a good cinematic feeling, but it's a little bit like the spy thriller by way of modern James Bond; it's got a lot of handwavery involved to get where it's going.

The real star of the novel is Jackson Lamb, a Cold War MI6 relic who made it home and was the founding member of the Slow Horses for unknown reasons. Lamb is odious, cruel, callous and a habitual liar, a man who conceals hidden depths behind a mask of lazy slobbery, which is quickly put paid to by some slightly hack-y dialogue time and again. He's a man who takes care of his people, even if he seems to be acting to the contrary. He's a bit like if George Smiley were a piece of shit.

Ultimately, it's a perfectly serviceable novel, with only a light bit of movie hacker shit to move the plot forward

All that said, the TV adaptation (streaming on apple TV+ and available anywhere you can run a VPN and type 'torrent television' into your search bar') is actually great. Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb and a bevy of british TV and movie talent have been cast in breezy 6-episode miniseries seasons adapting the (at the time of this post) first 3 Slow Horse novels, and there are a great deal of adaptational moves for the series that is flat out just better decisions than the novel made, both as a story and as a means of adapting the broad strokes of the story. It's just straight up good.

All of that said, I did get the second book, more out of a desire to get more Lamb than anything else. We'll see if I regret that or not. But we're definitely watching the TV series.