#so I assume he’d still get up to Shenanigans you know? just different ones sometimes.

[regallibellbright]

“Ilyan was right,” muttered Galeni.

“Not… necessarily,” said Ivan. “After about the twenty-fifth time you see this, you stop getting excited about it. It’s just… something he does. If he were going to kill himself, he’d have done it years ago.”

“You’ve seen him like this before?”

“Well… maybe not quite like this…” Ivan’s strained face occluded the plaster again. He waved a hand in front of Miles’s eyes.

We see a lot more of Miles’s manic episodes than we do the depressive ones, all told, but damn is Ivan’s total “yeah this full-on depressive catatonia is only SOMEWHAT more worrying to me than the episodes I’ve seen before, and they have happened enough I’m used to it” a statement. Up there with Ivan and Elli thinking something was up in Brothers in Arms but failing to recognize Miles had been replaced with a clone because “we’ve seen you manic, we’ve seen you depressed, but we’ve never seen you neutral to compare it to.”

(That would be the blatant-but-marginally-less-textual-in-that-it’s-not-formally-named ADHD I’d assume, too. Miles isn’t always in full on ‘hasn’t slept in three days but he has a job for them to pay off the spaceship he’s bought for his new pilot friend and also help employ his new friend the Barrayaran deserter and here’s all the supplies we’d need and our profit margins’ mode, but he is always one bout of boredom away from wondering if the goldfish are Cetagandan spy technology.)

[creepling]

i’ve had to have some time to think about this because it’s new johnny lore, whether confirmed yet or not im not too sure. haven’t been able to get to the bones of it bc of the nancy gameplay. and it is also something out my comfort zone, but i do have thoughts. ive wrote this more as headcanon, keeping to exploring the fiction so don’t take it as my personal view. i know it’s opened a can of worms in the fandom, but this is me trying to make sense of it through writing.

tags: necrophilia, death, corpses, derranged johnny shenanigans.

many serial killers have confessed to dappling in necrophilia. it’s hard not to when they are toying with death through attraction. if they target victims they also have a sexual attraction to, and they also want to committ murder, there is then a psychological nuance to how they view that person (that they already see as less than human). they will revisit the murder scene, sometimes even dig up the body. they don’t even have to physically committ necro, but the obsession is still there.

in the case of johnny, it is not too far fetched to assume he has been in situations that can have this psychological change in him becoming a necro. how far he goes with it is what is left to the imagination. someone with a philia does not have to do the physical act for it to count, just the obsession mentally accuring is enough. when it comes to necro, the obsession relies on the intrigue of bodily autonomy, to strip it completely through death. his victims have a habit of escaping him, and he is despised by family members because of this. his drive for the hunt is not only to fufill his killer instinct, but also to assure that no one will escape. he views death as a trap, an everlasting bound on their body, mind and soul. his emotions are numb to the point he doesn’t even view it as killing them. he already sees them as an object - as a canvas of flesh - and in death it makes no difference. or, he has the delusion of still seeing light in their eyes; they can speak, but choose not to. in any of these readings, he fulfills his need for control. the body is now obediant, and he doesn’t need to bare anymore shameful scars.

since i’m not a necro (thank god) i assume the obsession is kin to looking at a statue. one of those greek ones where you admire the curves and angles of the body, awing at the creation. its stillness captivating since it’s so life-like, your mind scans for a jolt or twitch. you start to imagine how they would speak, move, show emotion. the person is immortalised to be admired and have them in memory. maybe johnny views his perservation of the bodies like a work of art, they are his muses. when they’re still and unmoving, he can make them who he wants them to be. he can have his derranged thoughts contained in his head, looking at the body on the meat hook, the same way the average person looks at a statue in a museum. maybe that’s all he does, just stares, a scenario in his head, held back by a force that he cannot identify. it’s the first time he’s ever questioned something about his character; and it scares him. that voice in his head, “you sure you wanna do that?” has never tried to stop him before, so why now? is it because drayton doesn’t take kindly to him ‘playing with his food’, is it drayton’s voice? no, he’d be more harsher than that. is it his mum? can’t be, she’s never stopped him before. then who is it? to the average person, that is what you call a conscious. to johnny, it’s an unwelcomed guest, another voice to nag at him. he’s bulldozed his way through life, eating and grabbing anything he desires, and now he’s come to a hault. he thinks the voice is challenging him, and he never backs out of anything. but for the first time in his life, he’s thinking about it. not because he’s questioning the morals, but to see how it will benefit him. and when he looks at maria’s body, hanging on the meathook, and could have sworn he seen her blink. even in death, she is defiant. now, he has to take back control.

[brendathedoodler]

You mentioned AS Four getting Legend as an Animal companion- how did that work out for them? I foresee some shenanigans and frustration lol.

Oh yeah, absolutely.

The entire time Legend is like “by the golden three, they’re all so fucking sad and stupid” (as if he wasn’t also sad and stupid at his age), while Four is like “is this my spirit guide or something??? Why is he a jerk?”

Their relationship as far as bunny Legend and Four is a little confusing, since time travel itself is confusing. Four recognizes bunny Legend as his little companion when they meet during LU, but Legend doesn’t recognize him back. Meanwhile during Four’s adventure, Legend recognizes him but he doesn’t recognize Legend since LU hasn’t happened yet.

The first time Four met bunny Legend was sometime after he been roaming around. The colors spent a lot of time exploring Hyrule and reintroducing themselves to the world around them. They were mostly doing side quests, getting money, and buying clothes. They’d officially settled on their color nicknames by then, and had begun to create some semblance group cohesion (though the few shrines they’d attempted had been difficult and frustrating to say the least).

Legend showed up, and their first meeting went about like this (Blue was promptly bitten). Despite this rocky start, he kept showing up, and the colors accepted him. The widely agreed upon nickname for him was Pink (matching their color theme), though Vio also kept calling him Yardstick because “he has three feet” (only Green thought it was funny).

By this point, Legend had already lived his life. He‘s older, more mature, and had been pulled from his afterlife to help Four out. He doesn’t mind, though, especially since he remembers Hyrule had done the same for him once upon a time. Hyrule had appeared as the ghost of a Great Fairy (or maybe just a normal ghost; Legend had assumed he was a Great Fairy at the time), rather than an animal guide, but it was much the same.

Despite his age and maturity, Legend is still a moody little guy. Blue claims he has a resting bitch face (Green always insists that Blue’s a hypocrite for it), but even if the two butt heads they’re still fond of one another. Legend doesn’t like being carried, but might crawl into their laps if they’re sitting down and having a particularly rough time. If they aren’t sitting down he’ll be an obnoxious little shit until they agree to stop and take care of themselves.

He couldn’t provide much help in fights, but he did often lead Four to hidden koroks, shrines, and other things of note (like weapons, or alerting him of nearby lynels and hynoxes). He was never a constant companion (he didn’t want to risk Four relying on him, knowing full well that their time together was limited), but he was there frequently enough for Four to consider him a friend. An obnoxious friend who bit him for small infractions and laughed at him when he did dumb shit, but a friend nonetheless.

The first time Legend saw the colors combine into Four, he was honestly shocked. The Four he’d come to know was impulsive and had trouble making decisions, but he was startled to see just how much he struggled before their adventure together. Four was very obviously four guys in a trench coat rather than the singular Link. He talked to himself, which isn’t all that weird, but he constantly interrupted his own sentences and stumbled over his words. He was often off balance if he didn’t have a clear goal, walking as if two different people were choosing where his feet would go (and they probably were). It was hard to watch, but also made Legend proud as he got to see them learn to work together more. He could see it in the way his walking steadied, decisions got a little easier, and his disagreements were more internal than out loud.

The first time Four felt like Link again rather than Green, Red, Blue, and Vio had been after facing Vah Naboris. The battle had been brutal, but he’d won. Legend couldn’t come with, but he knew Four would be fine and didn’t stress, just waited at the place he’d teleport to when he was done. When Four appeared, Legend expected to hear about the battle. Instead he got to hear the joyous news that he felt like one person again.

(Legend wonders if this is how Hyrule’s ghost felt watching a younger Legend learn and grow. He wonders if Hyrule ever had any children of his own, and if Legend reminded him of them. Four certainly reminds Legend of his own.)

There were plenty of genuine feelings with these two. Legend snuggling by one of the colors when they were injured, Four spending weeks crafting a prosthetic leg for the one Legend is missing, comforting Red after it seemed Shadow was playing favorites, the re-discovery of Fort Hateno, late night talks about grief, the calamity, the struggle of figuring out how to be a person again…

There were also plenty of shenanigans.

A great example is the basket added to the front of the master cycle zero, combined with the silly helmet and harness Vio made for Legend. He absolutely fucking hated it. The harness was ridiculous, the helmet restricted the movement of his ears, and it just felt infantilizing! Unfortunately, if he was going to ride the cycle, he was going to have to wear them. He didn’t do it willingly. Lots of chasing, struggling, and bitten fingers later, he’d been forced into the harness. The helmet was abandoned. The harness at least had a clip to the basket so he wouldn’t go flying away with the stunts (not that Legend could really get hurt, and even if he did he’d just appear again the next day, good as new. Not like he could communicate that, though).

After taking over the Yiga Vio firmly decided to never eat a banana again (he’d eaten almost nothing but bananas for a week and a half straight). Legend proceeded to hide bananas in his bedroll, in his clothes, tie them to his weapons, and all sorts of dumb shit like that. Legend would pull them out of his slate, set it up, and then put it back so he’d have no idea. Then when he went to use the item, the hidden banana would emerge with it. Absolutely infuriating! Everyone else thought it was the funniest shit ever (until he started doing it to them too).

There’s also been plenty of moments that were just straight up Legend watching Four make a fool of himself. For example!

The divine beasts granted elemental magic. Blue didn’t get the memo after they fought Vah Ruta, but after Vah Vaboris Vio figured it out and decided to experiment with his lightning. He proceeded to electrocute the hell out of himself, run out of mana, roll down a hill like a limp noodle, and stop at the bottom face down, ass up.

The time Four had to strip down to his underwear under a blood moon to get a shrine. Legend found it absolutely hysterical and almost got thrown off a tower. The only thing saving him was the fact that Four wasn’t 100% certain that he wouldn’t get hurt from it. Shadow also laughed hysterically. Four refused to do it split, since none of the colors would agree to being the one to sacrifice their dignity. It was all or none. No compromises.

The time Blue froze his own feet to the floor just outside of a stable. He was trapped. The stable dog trotted over and peed on his leg.

The time Four accidentally added way too much Goron spice and was literally in tears. Legend had gotten the spiceless version of the soup (Four always took out small portions for him) and was perfectly fine.

That time Green managed to somehow get a guardian scout out of a shrine and proceeded to ride it around (it eventually flung him off and shot him, but one fairy later and he was fine)

Red’s brilliant idea to use bomb arrows on Death Mountain. He thought it would kill the talus faster. It would have if his arrows had reached the target instead of exploding in his face.

They had a good time.

[catflowerqueen]

Had a few more thoughts about SAMS Moon, and the way Lunar acts as a sort of twisted mirror for him.

So, Moon was probably very clumsy when he and Sun were newly separated. Not only would Moon be struggling with getting used to an entirely new body—one that is missing some of the features the other one had, mind you, since in that episode where they reacted to “Moondrop’s Sad Origin Story” they mention the fact that Moon can’t assume Sun’s form anymore (though it is possible Sun could still assume Moon’s)—but he also had to relearn how much energy and force was actually necessary to do basic movements, let alone do something like walking, since he no longer had to fight Sun in order to do anything. So there probably would have been a lot of overestimation at the start.

(And actually, I could see his Whacking Stick originally being used as a mobility aid—like, the reason he was keeping it around was to help him keep steady and practice, and he just played up the “punishment” aspect of it because he didn’t want Sun to worry. Especially not after he was dealing with his own stuff after the whole July 16th thing)

Anyways—so the way Lunar ties in… you know how it has been confirmed that Lunar is deliberately moving less because he is trying to make things easier for Moon? And how Moon commented to Sun that, in general, he moved less than Lunar does when he and Sun shared a body? What if the reason for that was because he was trying to do for Sun what Lunar is currently doing for him?

Like—at the beginning, before they came to that sharing agreement, a lot of his more subdued moving habits probably came from the fact that he was fighting Sun so much, and could only achieve “victory” with a limited range. But after they started to get along and he became aware of how moving hurt Sun, the subdued movements were probably to keep his brother’s pain to a minimum. And then they just became a habit once that weight was off him when they separated.

So, going back to that comment about Lunar being a mirror… do you think that means that Moon secretly wishes he could be just as carefree with his movements and emotions as Sun gets to be? That he wants—or at least wanted, at one point—to be able to dance around like he can? I think it does, at least a little. Like—he does pull some interesting shenanigans in Security Breach, and has moments of dancing (even if his actual walking tends to take the form of smaller, jerkier tip-toeing steps). And we’ve seen him dance around at different points in the show—like when he was playing as a mechanic in Job Simulator and that one time Golden Freddy came to visit the daycare. Not to mention the fact that it was Moon who bought that Power Wash game, and Lunar mentioned that Moon was the one who purchased Potion Permit—and it didn’t seem like that was just a purchase to placate Lunar, either. For it to be set up in such a way that Eclipse could also see it, that means it wasn’t downloaded into Moon’s mind.

Not to mention the fact that we recently found out Moon agrees with Lunar in thinking his capability to glow is really cool, and even wishes he’d known about it beforehand.

I’m just saying… I think Moon probably would secretly like to play “softer” sorts of games sometimes, but won’t admit to it because he is either embarrassed, doesn’t want Sun to make a big deal out of it, or doesn’t think he is “supposed” to like those sorts of things given the type of persona that was forced onto him with the kill code, and which he doesn’t really think he can ever drop. At least not fully. Though I’m not entirely sure if he is consciously aware of any of that.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

do you think the jedi prohibit 'frivolous uses of the force'?? because i see it a lot in fic but i swear i distinctly remember obi-wan using the force to pull a literal chair over lmfao

Yoooo, I've been wanting to write a post about that for like a week xD Okay, so here's the thing: I started answering this one, confident that I knew where the use of the word 'frivolous' came from - but it turned out that I was wrong, so I'm actually a bit baffled about its origin. But here goes:

(@cacodaemonia I know you were interested in this topic?)

No, I don't think the Jedi prohibit that. I don't think the Jedi even have 'frivolous' use of the Force as a concept. The idea that they prohibit it, or at least frown upon it, is very likely rooted in the AotC scene of Anakin levitating a piece of fruit.

Wookieepedia cites that scene and that scene only on the topic of frivolousness in the page on Telekinesis.

But the word frivolous isn't used in that scene! Who came up with it? Obi-Wan being grumpy about Anakin levitating the fruit could mean just about anything. Maybe Jedi frown upon showing off in front of a diplomat you're meant to be protecting in a professional way. Maybe Obi-Wan and only Obi-Wan disapproves of Anakin levitating stuff because he kept doing it around the apartment as a kid, just to be a little shit. Maybe Jedi frown upon playing with your food with the Force, which wouldn't necessarily be linked with it being 'frivolous' but just with 'don't be gross.'

Now I thought it came from the novelization using that specific word, but it doesn't! The novelization is based on the original script as opposed to the dialogue in the movie (it actually came out before the movie, so that's why) and the scene is longer in them both and seems to confirm what I said about how it could mean a lot of other things (because he isn't just levitating it originally, he's playing with it):

(novelization)

PADME: You did that? [ANAKIN looks up - wide-eyed innocence.] ANAKIN: What? [PADME scowls at him. PADME jabs at the fruit - ANAKIN subtly moves his hand and it lifts up from the plate and hovers in front of her.] PADME: That! Now stop it! [PADME laughs. ANAKIN laughs. She reaches out for the fruit - it loops.] PADME (continuing): Anakin!! [ANAKIN moves his fingers. The fruit flies into his hand.] ANAKIN: I'm not really supposed to do that... for fun, I mean. If Master Obi-Wan were here, he'd be very grumpy. [ANAKIN is pleased. He cuts the fruint (sic) into several pieces and sends one back to PADME. She bites it out of the air and laughs.]

(script)

Even taking Anakin at face value, this does not say there is an Order-wide ban on 'frivolous' uses of the Force. Again, maybe Force-assisted food shenanigans are frowned upon. Maybe Anakin isn't supposed to mess with people with the Force for fun. Maybe it's just Anakin assuming, as he sometimes does.

I think 'frivolous' might come from one of the EU books - it's not from No Prisoners (the Karen Travis TCW book) though, so I have no idea who might have used it in that context first??

Anyway, the issue in fic is that 'frivolous' is often confused with 'casual.' Hence the Obi-Wan thing imo.

One, 'frivolous' is judgy - it gives it a sense of sin, something that the Jedi... don't seem to have that much of a concept of? Dressing 'immodestly' isn't condemned, for example. I don't see the Order as a whole (there are sticks in the mud everywhere) having a thing against a concept as vague as 'frivolousness.' I mean... Yoda? His whole idea of fun is to mess with people and cackle, and his teaching methods include massive trolling, teasing the grown-up Masters with his gaggle of kiddos and whatnot. You cannot tell me Yoda never tugged on somebody's cloak to make them trip.

Two, frivolous and casual aren't the same thing. Obi-Wan pulling the chair falls into the casual use category imo - and yes, we do see him and others do this kind of casual stuff many times! (Off the top of my head: Obi-Wan grabs the map-ball thingy from the map-reader in AotC - in front of younglings, so there's no fear of a bad example being set - Yoda calls his stick to his hand in AotC, Obi-Wan pulls a chair in TCW s2, Jedi call their lightsabers to them all the time - though it's usually in combat settings, so it doesn't necessarily count, Obi-Wan closes a door in AotC - I think Ewan was the one who thought it'd be neat to do it? Idk...)

And I don't agree that "it goes to show their hypocrisy" or whatever. What, because we assume that's what Anakin meant in the AotC scene and because we assume it's 100% an Order-wide thing, and we assume that the Jedi would view using the Force for daily tasks as frivolous, then every single instance of Jedi using the Force for simple every day stuff is hypocritical?! Even though floating freaking fruit around somebody's head and pulling up a chair are absolutely not the same thing? The latter is something you would do no matter whether you use the Force or not - pulling a chair is a normal thing to do. Playing with fruit around someone is a rude thing to do. There's a difference whether or not 'frivolous' stuff is frowned upon.

And also, using the Force is a natural thing. The Jedi do it like they breathe - it's all around them and they're aware of it constantly, and it's not always something they can turn on or off. It's natural that they would use it for daily stuff, and the level of respect that comes attached with using it would necessarily vary from one Jedi to the other. Just look at Quinlan. What, jumping out of a gunship to make an entrance isn't frivolous? Well, Quinlan is a Master, so his views on it are just as valid - just as Jedi - as anybody else's. (Plus Obi-Wan - the Council Member - gives him grief for being late, not for just for being ridiculous, so again - rudeness.)

I can see some Masters being against using the Force with carelessness - and yeah, I can also see some Masters being against using it in a 'fun' way - because you have to be careful with that stuff, but it probably would generate debate. There wouldn't be a definite consensus on what is too much and what isn't.

If "the Jedi all frown upon casually using the Force" is something that Lucas intended to convey in the movie, please correct me and give me a source.

Though it is also entirely possible that Obi-Wan was meant to be a bit hypocritical about it - because he and Anakin have their tensions, and as somewhat of a parental figure it's only natural that he would scold Anakin for stuff that isn't that big of deal, or that he himself has done, because that's what every person who's ever been in charge of a younger person has done at some point. So sure, maybe Obi-Wan scolded Anakin for being too casual with the Force? But I still don't see it as a Big Rule that is in the Jedi Code That Must Not Be Violated and that get you Shamed and Shunned if you dare to have fun with the Force.

(Honestly, it reminds me of 'your Lightsaber is your Life' thing, and Ahsoka and Anakin both separately whining that their Master was going to kill them for losing/breaking theirs. There's a certain level or respect and care expected, the Masters (or... only Obi-Wan and Anakin, lol) nag a bit, aren't always careful enough themselves, the kids make a big deal out of it in front of other people, but ultimately there are zero repercussion whatsoever for actually failing to follow the Master's nagging. Like, Jocasta tells Ahsoka Anakin would totally understand, and it's Ahsoka who insists he wouldn't and makes it into a big thing.)

Again, having Masters tell their students to be respectful of the Force and not to treat it like a joke? Sure. Showing off with the Force in a rude manner being called 'frivolous,' and it being a bad thing? I could see it. Having Masters get pissy about pulling chairs, closing doors or whatever - about doing things you can do with your hands with the Force instead? Maybe, but it wouldn't be an Order-wide thing.

One thing's for certain, we never see a Master directly scolding a student for using the Force casually in the Prequels, the OT or TCW, much less calling it 'frivolous.'

So yeah, gimme Jedi levitating stuff to clean up under the furniture xD

[dyinginlava]

Analysing “Let Me Be Your Vassal” (aka that one Dream & Wilbur conversation)

Wherein Cy decides going line by line through a scene from five months ago is a wonderful idea

Alright, let’s go! Recently I went back to watch Wilbur’s ‘Am I The Villain?’ video, since it was the first DSMP video I actually watched and I noticed something that made me actually go and find the vod from October 8th to specifically watch it: the details of Wilburs conversation with Dream where he asks for the TNT. Now, this did happen about five months ago now, but I think it would be good to look at this scene both with further character information we have now, and hopefully to clarify some things that newer fans might not be aware of! There’s also the fact that c!Wilbur is likely returning to the story soon.

I will be using quotes with timestamps to support my analysis, from this video. When [...] is used, it is to indicate an irrelevant tangent or repetition. Also, I feel it is important to note that this analysis is not meant to indicate moral judgement in any way: it is intended as a unbiased look at character actions and motivations.

First, let’s establish the exact situation here. At this point in time, we’re before the festival, and Dream has volunteered to help Pogtopia and has already given Technoblade supplies. He had also written a book to Tommy wherein he stated he didn’t support Schlatt due to his power-hungry ambitions, unlike Wilbur. After being seen as a villain in the last war, he didn’t want to become publicly involved especially through breaking a peace treaty, and instead offered to help from the shadows. He also gave Tommy his crossbow and some armour along with the book. While some may doubt his intentions as stated, I have reason to believe he’s being honest, as will be mentioned later. (Information taken directly from the book Tyrant, given to Tommy by Dream).

On Wilbur’s side, he’d just had his ‘then let’s be the bad guys’ moment after seeing Schlatt announce the festival, talking with Tommy on the way back to Pogtopia.

“We burn the place to the fucking ground!” - Wilbur 1:10:50

He starts making a plan:

“Okay, here’s the plan, right? Dream, Dream is on our side, Dream has TNT, Dream has everything, right? I say, we talk to Dream, and we ask him, very nicely, very kindly, ‘Dream, give us all the TNT you have’” - Wilbur 1:12:20

“The only reason Dream is working with us is because of the fact that we are the enemies of his enemies! That’s it! That’s all that joins... this!” - Wilbur, to Tommy 1:14:30

I feel a need to note here, that anything Wilbur says to Tommy about their allies shouldn’t be taken at face value: at this point his paranoia has begun clouding his view, as he also distrusts Tubbo, and later even doubts Tommy.

“Everyone who’s claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us! Tubbo? he’s lying to you man! He would drop us at the second he realises that we’re not in the lead anymore!” - Wilbur, to Tommy 1:16:10

He has no proof to back up his claim about Dream, and personally I’m inclined to not believe his claim, seeing as Dream previously had no issue with L’Manberg after the peace treaty.

After some tunnel shenanigans happen, Wilbur asks Dream to talk privately: the conversation starts at 1:31:30

The conversation begins with Wilbur informing Dream about the festival, which he was previously unaware of. Dream laughs at the mention of the festival being a celebration of democracy, but whether this is because of his disdain for Schlatt or a personal dislike of democracy is unclear (question for another time: is c!Dream a monarchist? The SMP is technically ruled by a king after all, but they fulfil more of a neutral peacekeeping role in general. Theocracy???).

Wilbur then asks Dream if he thinks he and Tommy are the bad guys in the situation, and like Tommy, he disagrees. Wilbur proceeds to explain his reasoning, and then asks Dream what he thinks.

“I think that sometimes, a ruler is unfit, and that causes problems” - Dream 1:32:50

Wilbur then starts trying to persuade Dream to help him.

“Dream, I think you have vested interest though, I think that you would enjoy there to be conflict between Manberg and Pogtopia. And you know what, I’m here to facilitate that!” - Wilbur 1:33:00

Dream immediately denies this, and returns to talking about Schlatt.

“I don’t— Jschlatts a little bit more ambitious than you I’d say” - Dream 1:33:20

Note that at this point, Tommy meets up with Wilbur but is not in vc. Ignoring what Dream has just said, Wilbur makes his pitch:

“Dream, Dream, let me be your vassal! Dream, I understand you have a lot of TNT?” - Wilbur 1:33:25

Dream confirms that he has TNT.

“Dream, I want to be your vassal, I want to set this up, I want to rig the city” - Wilbur 1:33:40

This is the first time Wilbur mentions using the TNT to destroy L’Manberg. I also want to point out the use of the term ‘vassal’ here, as while the line itself is very well known, I’ve yet to see someone point out the relevant definition here is ‘a person or country in a subordinate position to another’ which you might notice, isn’t really the case here. Wilbur is asking Dream to supply him with something, there’s nothing subordinate about it. It could be that he’s implying that he’ll owe Dream for the favour, or it could be him seeing it as ‘helping’ Dream by destroying L’Manberg, as we’ve established his paranoia is leading him to see his allies in a negative light.

The two decide to meet at Pogtopia, and Tommy speaks up for the first time in the conversation.

“Dream, Dream don’t give it to him. It’s not right!”- Tommy

“Tommy it’s too... I have to.” - Dream 1:33:50 (overlapping)

‘I have to’ is an interesting line, and I’m assuming he’s referring to the promise he made to assist Pogtopia by supplying them. It does highlight how, at this point in time, Dream still seems hesitant about the plan.

Wilbur then starts talking to Dream but abruptly switches to talking to Tommy instead.

“Dream, I appreciate ... cause you see Tommy, the thing you’re not understanding is Dream only gave you that gear so that you could cause this conflict! You see, this is what it’s all about, Dream doesn’t want us to win! Dream just wants both Pogtopia and Manberg to be weak! [...] and Dream I’m not scolding you on this, it’s smart, you’re smart..” - Wilbur 1:34:00

To clarify my stance on this to people who are newer to the fandom, during Pogtopia, Dream and Tommy were actually on good, even friendly terms. It’s not until Dream joined Manberg that they became enemies again. Personally, I see this as Wilbur trying to make Tommy distrust Dream just as he did with Tubbo, although interpretations may differ. Wilbur complimenting Dream can be seen as trying to get on his good side and/or trying to persuade Dream that he wants to help Wilbur with the TNT.

“I’m here to help you, I’m here to weaken both of us!” - Wilbur 1:34:25

Dream then gets a chance to speak.

“I do want Pogtopia and Manberg to be nothing more, and I want L’Manberg to be... something” - Dream 1:34:40

Tommy asks why he wants L’Manberg back after he fought against them over it before.

“Schlatt is ambitious, and that’s a bad thing. He wants power, he wants land, he wants to expand. You having your own little server [...] that’s fine by me!” - Dream 1:34:55

Here Dream claims that due to Schlatt being power hungry he stands against him, but didn’t have an issue with L’Manberg just existing. I’m inclined to believe this claim, as it matches up with his actions in between the war and the elections. He also claims to have had a change of heart about L’Manberg, which again, seems to line up with his actions.

Wilbur then lets out a very evil sounding laugh, very melodramatic, I applaud cc!Wilbur for it. He then says something that I think is extremely important to this analysis, and part of why I made it in the first place.

“Dream, this has made me ambitious! If I’m taking power again I will be ambitious! Let me blow it up, let me destroy it all!” - Wilbur 1:35:15

Now considering what both Wilbur and Dream have been saying, there a very obvious conclusion you can come too here: Wilbur is claiming that he’d be just as bad as Schlatt if he was back in power, that there would be no getting the old L’Manberg back, that Dream would be better off helping his plan. Now obviously Wilbur isn’t evil— he’s paranoid, angry, and desperate— but this is what he claims to Dream, who’s knows he’s been willing to fight for L’Manberg before and has said he (Dream) wants to avoid fighting L’Manberg again. I know a lot of c!Wilbur fans get annoyed at people saying Wilbur manipulated Dream during Pogtopia, but you can’t deny that this moment specifically is manipulative: he’s specifically lying about his intentions to convince someone to help him. And it works! Dream arrives, and hands over the TNT to Wilbur.

Wilbur heads back to the entrance to Pogtopia, where Tommy holds him at bowpoint before Dream steps in, handing Wilbur a shield. Tommy talks about how they can rebuild L’Manberg rather than destroying it, but Wilbur laughs at it. Dream turns to leave.

“Dream, I will do you proud” - Wilbur 1:36:55

Dream offers to help him if he needs it, and Wilbur warns him about the festival. Dream leaves the game, marking the end of the conversation at 1:37:41.

When heading back into Pogtopia, Wilbur talks to chat about Dream being a ‘good guy’ but also repeating what he said before about Dream just wanting both sides to be weak.

Now that the main analysis is done, I did want to mention a few things that didn’t really fit within the main body for whatever reason: not enough evidence, may be biased etc. For one thing, I definitely noticed a shift in how Wilbur spoke to Dream, from initially just asking him for TNT to almost acting like the TNT was Dream’s idea. This could tie into the manipulation I noted, or it could just be a result of his paranoia causing him to misinterpret what Dream really wants. Or both! As I mentioned before, Wilbur’s narration can’t really be trusted because of this, but what we can do is compare actions and words: if what a person says their motives are lines up with how they act, then they’re probably being honest. There’s also the matter of context— Dream claiming to Eret that he’s always wanted everything to be Dream SMP territory when dethroning them doesn’t make much sense if you compare it to how he acted about L’Manberg after the war, at least until you realise he’s talking to the king of the Dream SMP and trying to play into what he thinks she wants— he even emphasise that them being able to take over after the war between Manberg and Pogtopia is only a possibility.

Anyway, this took a while but was fun to write, and hopefully even if you don’t agree with my personal interpretation of these events, looking at the quotes will hopefully be helpful for coming to your own conclusions! :D

[codenamed-queenie]

#BatsInQuarantine

I am going insane. So I poured my restlessness into one long and very detailed post and got super into it. Please enjoy this hot mess.

The Justice League, being the well-meaning virus-proof Super Friends that they are, took one good look at the news, one good look at their non-powered friends Ollie, Bruce, and their families, and collectively decided that these normal humans must be Protected At All Costs.

Now, keep in mind, Bruce is never one to roll over when it comes to being benched. 

However, he understands the importance of social distancing. He knows he needs to set a good example for his kids, and keep up appearances as Gotham’s Most Responsible Multi-Billionaire. 

So. Quarantine it is. 

But how are his kids handling it?

Dick - 

100% on board in the beginning. Gotta do the Responsible Thing. Gotta set a Good Example. Besides, guys, this is gonna be Fun. Quality Family Time is always a Must.

He lasted 2 days. 

Then he started to get twitchy. 

And as everyone knows? A Trapped Dick Grayson is a Feral Dick Grayson.

He bounces off the walls.

Literally.

“I have to climb.” 

“Dick, no.”  

“I have to climb everything.”

Has scaled the manor 16 times already. Has climbed the chandelier. The banister. Bruce. The roof. The Cave. Anything in the house that’s been bolted down and especially anything that hasn’t. 

Duke found him clinging to the wall 10 ft off the ground like Spiderman and screamed so loud it shattered glass. 

Desperate for news of the outside. 

He thrives off of it like a starving man. 

Was the one to suggest he and Barbara take a break to Social Distance from each other (”Sorry, babe, kissing spreads germs”) and experienced Instant Regret(TM) approximately 5 minutes after. 

The Family has labelled him a Flight Risk Level 1 (Most likely to say f**k it and make a break for the outside world)

Jason - 

Accidentally got trapped inside the manor with the others when Bruce called Shutdown. If he had his way, he’d be chilling in his favorite safe-house right now, binging The Witcher with Roy and Artemis, and not worrying about finding a stray brother in his sock drawer.

But he’s nothing if not an opportunist. 

The way he sees it, Jason has 3 options:

Self Improvement

Self Isolation (See Duke, Cass, and Damian)

Descension Into Madness (See Dick and Steph)

And, well, he always wanted to try a few things. Now he’s got the free time to do it.

So he settles on baking. 

Alfred’s got enough food and raw ingredients stored up to feed an army. (Not because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder in times like these. But because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder all the time. Just try feeding 11+ teenagers sometime.)

Uses recipes he finds off Google.

His first few attempts are, in a word, ‘tragic’.

Alfred slips him a few of his recipe cards, and Jason suddenly starts seeing Results. 

Turns out he’s pretty good at this baking thing once he gets the hang of it. 

Hope everyone’s okay eating nothing but pie, macaroons, biscuits, and whatever else Jason whips up. 

Cause that’s gonna be the only food left by the time he’s done. 

Barbara - 

Self-quarantined with her dad. 

They’ve been binge-watching classic black and white movies together.

It’s a fun time, but she’s started to get a little antsy. Loving her dad and wanting to be around him 24/7 are, understandably, mutually exclusive. 

Calls the manor to video-chat every day.

For her sanity just as much as theirs. 

Gives everyone little challenges to film on their phones and send in. She makes compilations of everyone’s submissions so they can all watch and laugh together. 

Bonus points for Creativity

One comp shows the family trying to drop Mentos into coke bottles. 

Dick did a handstand, and dropped his Mento from the second story balcony. 

Tim did it wearing the Batman cowl. The soda exploded into his face, and the rest of the video is just Bruce’s Shrieking.

Stephanie tried it, but the bottle tipped. Everyone on camera screamed as the bottle rocketed through the front window. 

She spends most of her calls having one-on-one convos with Dick.

They’ve come up with little code phrases so they can be Cheesy even with family members lurking in the background. 

She thinks the way he clings to the monitor is cute. 

Almost like he’s giving her a hug through the screen. 

(It’s easier than letting herself worry about his mental state, at least)

Tim -

Oh this boy.

Freaked out for the first five minutes before he decided ‘hey wait, Bruce is letting me stay in my pajamas all day? Noice.’ 

Now he’s just vibing.

The rest of his family is Low-Key shielding him.

He Has No Spleen, you see.

Steph: “Someone could cough on him and he could die!”

He just goes about his day, playing Animal Crossing like there’s no tomorrow, tinkering on projects, taking naps, etc. Living his best life.

Meanwhile there’s always someone lurking behind him, keeping watch, keeping him safe. 

Dick sneezed within 5 feet of Tim once (the fact that he was on top of the dusty bookshelf Tim was perusing is irrelevant)

Jason still full-body tackled him the second Tim’s back was turned. 

No one with any symptoms--

Like, any symptoms. They don’t even have to be Corona-related.

--is allowed within 10 feet of Tim. 

Tim has been wandering the manor for weeks, now, without seeing another human being. 

(He sees Dick on the ceiling sometimes, but that doesn’t really count)

He’s been trying increasingly drastic pranks and shenanigans to draw someone, anyone, out. 

But it doesn’t matter how many times he steals Damian’s sword, or sets fire to Jason’s brownie bites.

Nobody wants to risk it. 

Cass - 

No one has seen her since quarantine started.

Everyone is approximately 87% sure she’s somewhere in the manor though

Because she does eat the meals Alfred leaves out for her.

Or at least someone does, at any rate. 

(Jason and Santa top the running suspects list)

Santa was Steph’s suggestion. For some reason it snowballed. 

It’s assumed that Cass misunderstood the meaning of ‘social distancing’ and took it too far. 

But no one knows for sure. 

She is Tim’s Guardian Angel. 

People who so much as clear their throats a little too loudly anywhere near him suddenly wake up on a different floor of the house four hours later. 

Duke came closest to spotting her while he was up in the attic. 

Either that, or there’s another Creepy Sister everyone forgot to tell him about living up there.

She is silent, and watchful, sticking to the shadows, but she does leave the occasional note out to brighten her siblings’ day. 

Things like ‘helo i love u’ and ‘hop u ar ok’  mostly. 

She is bound and determined to protect her family from this invisible threat, no matter the cost. 

Steph - 

Like Dick, she was Super Pumped at first. 

(Just kind of showed up at Wayne Manor before quarantine was enacted. The original purpose of her visit is unclear, but regardless, she’s Trapped.)

Also Like Dick, her descent into madness was swift.

She is impossible to pin down. 

Not like Cass or Damian, who’ve stayed off the grid, and are therefore Untraceable. 

No. She’s impossible to pin down, because she never stops moving. 

Switches seamlessly between Zumba on top of the Giant Dinosaur in the Batcave, and furiously knitting Alfred (the Cat) a sweater with a pair of Tim’s used chopsticks. 

Braided everyone’s hair while they were asleep.

Even Bruce’s. 

She tried to do Tim’s, but somehow blacked out and regained consciousness in the attic. 

When she woke up with a scream and a furiously twitching eye, she startled Duke out of his Makeshift Fort he built out of old cardboard boxes and antique furniture. He’s had to resort to finding a new hiding place. 

Sometimes, on the rare occasions she does sit still, staring off into the distance, she’ll suddenly start laughing hysterically. This may last between thirty seconds and thirty minutes, depending entirely on how long it’s been since she’s knitted a cat sweater or done cartwheels through every room in the house.

Blew up the greenhouse out back, somehow.

Everyone has agreed not to talk about it.

Some people were built to handle prolonged time inside their homes.

Stephanie Brown is not that way.

Damian - 

Damian Wayne Cannot Be Contained.

At least not inside the house. 

He took off thirty-six hours into quarantine. 

Thanks to the security equipment around the borders of the Wayne Estate, he can’t escape the grounds. 

(He’s tried and failed multiple times. Jason and Bruce have a running bet on how many times the perimeter alarms will go off per day.)

(Jason is winning.)

He wanders the grounds with Titus as his only companion. 

The two of them run laps, practice drills, and find ways to occupy their time. 

No one’s entirely sure what those ways are. 

In fact, nobody knows exactly where Damian is at any given time. 

Only that he is Out There. 

And he’s the best security system Wayne Manor’s ever had. 

So far, he’s stopped five groups of civilians scaling the perimeter walls before the lasers and electric nets even have a chance to deploy.

They were trying to break in and steal supplies. 

(Even ones they already had in surplus. Like Toilet Paper.)

He’s also stopped Dick from escaping twelve (12) times.

Drags him back by his shirt collar and deposits him on the welcome mat. 

Usually with a note for Alfred/Jason, requesting more fruit tarts. 

Duke - 

Did not leave the attic for two weeks. 

Then Steph discovered his hiding spot (read: was dumped there by Cassandra) which forced him to relocate to the basement. 

Yes, it turns out Wayne Manor does have a basement. 

This was a surprise to Duke, who always thought that the Batcave was Bruce Wayne’s basement. 

Alfred keeps him supplied with all the necessities:

i.e. food, magazines, assorted pastries from Jason’s latest batch, usually straight out of the oven.

Duke also snagged the Manor’s Alexa. 

She has become a sort of ‘Wilson’ to Duke’s ‘Chuck Noland’.

She is his only comfort. His only ally. 

He’s determined to wait out this quarantine, doing his best to avoid the others. 

Duke has seen these people under pressure. 

He knows exactly what he’s dealing with. 

Duke: “Alexa is the only motherf****r in this madhouse I ever respected.”

*offended butler noises from the other room*

Duke: “And also Alfred.”

[em-neko]

FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM (KBTBB HEADCANON)

how i think mc would’ve met + fallen in love with the bidders if she hadn’t been put up for auction.

oh and i added a song to go along with each scenario, enjoy!

a/n: the auctions don’t exist in this universe, so the bidders don’t know each other (assuming soryu, eisuke and luke didn’t stay in contact after high school). however, shuichi and hikaru are friends.

EISUKE

when mc worked at the tres spade, they’d often run into each other

she’d always catch his eye, but he wasn’t sure why

she was just like any other maid, after all

but to him, she seemed different somehow

one day, his curiosity got the best of him and he promoted her to the penthouse

at first, she was really shy and wouldn’t even look him in the eye

he’d try chatting her up (in his own way)

but she wouldn’t open up (understandably)

so one day, he asked her to make him coffee

their first conversation was about how eisuke liked his coffee

somehow, he managed to make her laugh

and slowly, she began warming up to him

since then, whenever she’d go up to the penthouse to clean, they’d end up just talking the entire time

mc got in trouble for it (and by trouble i mean, erika and tweedledee and tweedledum bullied her about it) but eisuke always defended her

if eisuke was too busy in his office to talk to her, he’d leave her a small present on the coffee table for her to find

things like jewelry, clothes, beauty products and sweets

in exchange, mc left notes and doodles for eisuke to find

once she even left a short comic that she’d written and illustrated for him to read

he saved them all

soon, their relationship turned flirty

eisuke would tease her constantly

sometimes, he’d jokingly pin mc down on the couch

or he’d give her little surprise kisses while she’d be cleaning

mc would always blush and get super flustered

in typical eisuke fashion, he’d play it off as a joke

but it was obvious he really liked her

soon, eisuke offered her to move into the penthouse

he blamed it on boredom and pulled them “it’s for work” card, but mc saw right through it

and she agreed

SORYU

i genuinely don’t think they would’ve ever met if it weren’t for the auctions

however, i could see them potentially meeting in a bookstore

it was that cliche, looking over the shelf, eyes meeting type of thing

soryu didn’t pay any mind to her at first, but he’d remember her face

he found himself thinking about her a lot

she was scared of him at first, but she found him really attractive

so they’d both go to the bookstore every few days, hoping they run into one another

they wouldn’t speak to each other though

but that doesn’t mean the staff of the bookstore didn’t take notice of their occasional glances

they were kinda suspicious because mc and soryu would always be in the store at the same time

so one day, after closing, the staff reorganized the shelves so that the romance section (mc’s favorite section) would be right besides the crime novel section (soryu’s favorite section)

hoping they’d talk to each other

and it worked!

when mc and soryu returned to the bookstore the next day, they realized that things had been move around

and found themselves shoulder to shoulder

mc eventually gathered up the courage to ask him what he was reading

and he offered to buy her a book he liked

in exchange, she bought him a book she liked

every few days, they’d purchase books for each other, and talk about the last books

mc began to leave notes in soryu’s books

and he left notes in hers too

notes turned to letters

and soon, a phone number was left on the bottom of one of the letters

OTA

they met at a museum

ota was there to look for inspiration

while mc was just wardering around on her lunch break

ota caught mc’s eye immediately, he’s the angelic artist after all

but she didn’t want to bother him, nor did she have the courage to talk to him in the first place

so she just pretended like she didn’t see him

when the paparazzi and ota’s fangirls catch wind that he’s at the museum, they all swarmed the place

ota frantically tried to find a place for hide

and luckily for him, mc found a way to sneak into the security guard’s office

she ushered him in and told him to hide under the desk

while waiting for the chaos to cool down, they joked around and laughed together

ota told mc she looked like his old dog and called her koro as a joke

she rolled her eyes, before bursting out laughing

he started treating her like a dog (asking her to sit, give paw, jump etc.) and she played along

they both laughed together hysterically at the end

when the chaos cooled down, ota left his hiding spot

but, not before asking her if he can “take her on a walk sometime”

she’d bark happily

i made mc a whiling participant to ota’s shenanigans because a big reason why i didn’t like ota’s main story was because i felt so bad for mc

MITSUNARI

they met after baba had stolen a painting at an gallery, owned by a child predator

ayame was chasing him down the street

with no where to go, baba ran into a random building

(that happened to be mc’s apartment complexe)

he entered a random apartment on the second floor

(which also happened to be mc’s apartment)

and hid inside her bathtub

when mc got home and found him inside her bathtub, she freaked out (obviously)

she yelled at him and beat him with a broomstick

somehow baba managed to talk her out of calling the cops by explaining the situation to her

after she calmed down, they drank some tea together and chit chatted

mostly about their jobs

baba teased her a lot about being a maid, while she simply blushed, too shy to tease back

but she couldn’t hide the fact that she found good looking

minutes turned to hours

and the next morning, mc woke up in her own bed

turns out, baba had carried her to her bedroom after she’d fallen asleep while they were talking

and sat at the foot of her bed until the crack of dawn

just to make sure she didn’t have any nightmares after the scare he gave her

to thank her for “the unforgettable night” she gave him, he left her a note with his phone number on it

and at the bottom, it was written to call him if she ever needed help

and he’d be there

mc didn’t think she’d ever use it, after all she wasn’t stupid, she knew a womanizer when she saw one

but when she got invited to a party a few days later, she realized that she needed a date

and who better was to call than the flirty thief she’d just met?

MAMORU

they met on the bus

mc was on her way to meet a friend

while she was sitting on the bus, reading her book, mamoru came stumbling in

mc noted that he looked sleepy

when he came towards her, she made sure to move her back out of the way so he could sit down

mere seconds after the bus began moving again, mamoru fell asleep

on mc’s shoulder

mc didn’t want to wake him up and ask him to move because he seemed so exhausted

so she let him sleep on her

she didn’t mind too much, besides she was only getting off at the last stop

and she thought he was pretty cute, but she’d never admit that

but then, the last stop came

and mamoru was still sleeping on her shoulder

mc wondered if he’d missed his stop or if he was getting off on the last stop too

she gently nudged him, calling out to him to wake up

when he woke up, he realized he’d missed his stop and started freaking out

he blamed mc for not waking him up at his stop

mc retorted that she didn’t know which stop was his

and they walked off the bus bickering

they continued arguing on the street too

until mamoru realized how stupid he sounded and somewhat apologized

mc was understandably annoyed that this man had wasted her time and stomped away

but before she could get far enough away from him, he called out to her

he asked her if he could apologize to her with some dinner

he expected her to say no

but instead, she told him she’d only go if he took her to the best ramen place in town

and he agreed

LUKE

like soryu, i can’t imagine them ever meeting if it wasn’t for mc being sold at the auctions

however, there is a possibility that they’d run into each other at the hotel

mc had just gotten transferred to the tres spade dubai

and luke had a meeting there with potential patient

while luke waited for the patient in the lobby, all of the female staff members were checking him out

of course, he is very handsome after all

mc didn’t pay too much mind, she admitted he was good looking, but this was the tres spade

handsome men came through those doors every day

so she simply walked by and continued her work

and luke and his patient eventually went to his suite

a few hours later, mc was asked to bring some refreshments to room 145

turns out, it was luke’s patient’s suite

she smiled politely at luke and his patient and placed the bottles of whiskey on the table in front of them

eyes wide like he was in a trance, he reached his fingertips towards her chest

panicked, mc was about to push his hands away and apologize, thinking he was reaching for her breast

but he wasn’t

instead, he began caressing her collarbones, while praising their beauty

mc and the patient stared at each other with big eyes, confused as to what to do

“uh.. dr foster, are you okay?”

mc was beginning to get flustered at how close luke was

so she gently placed her hands on his and pushed them off of her

she apologized and told him she had to go, and to call the front desk if he needed anything else

but before she could leave, luke called out to her

he asked her if she’d come to his clinic sometimes

he wanted to get x-ray’s of her collarbones

and as weirded out as mc was, she agreed

SHUICHI

they met while shuichi was staying at the tres spade japan on a business trip

mc had just finished cleaning the third floor

so she stepped on the elevator to make her way to the twentieth floor, where she’d end her shift

shuichi was already inside

she bowed to him, greeting him politely

he simply nodded his head

after pressing her floor button, she stepped back and stood besides shuichi

they rode in silence

until the elevator suddenly came to a harsh stop

mc began freaking out

and shuichi got frustrated

he tried mc calming down in his own way

she got pissed at him

but hey, at least she wasn’t panicking anymore

shuichi clicked the help button and they waited

and waited

after a while, while they sat on the floor, mc apologized to shuichi for the inconvenience

he assured her that it wasn’t her fault

after a brief moment of silence, she asked him why he was staying at the tres spade

and they began talking about work

soon, the conversation turned political

mc was a unsure because of how stiff shuichi was

she thought he was annoyed at her

but he wasn’t

in fact, shuichi was impressed by how educated mc was on the subject

and he loved how casually she spoke about it too

once help finally arrived, he couldn’t help but feel sad that the conversation had to come to an end

he genuinely loved talking to her

she was laid back, but intelligent, a combination he found very attractive

so he asked her she’d be his date that night to his business dinner

and she said yes

HIKARU

they met at work, of course

hikaru was always super friendly towards mc

he’d always help her when he had free time

sometimes he’d buy her food at the cafeteria

or bring her coffee from the local coffee shop

soon, mc began developing a little crush on him

at least, that was until he lured her to into a secluded area at the hotel and threatened her with a knife

turns out, he was going after the wrong person

his target’s wife coincidentally had the same first and last name as mc

hence why hikaru confused them

he apologized

but now that she knew who he really was, he couldn’t just let her go

so he told the manager that they were dating and he wanted mc to move in with him

unfortunately for mc, the manager said yes

and they moved in together

at first, mc was (understandably) afraid of hikaru

but soon, she warmed up to him

in fact, she actually began liking his sassy attitude better than his good guy persona

and there was no denying he was into her too

they played house together

they cooked together, cleaned together, watched shows together, built ikea furniture together

hell, they even argued about which type of cheese to buy at the grocery store

when hikaru had nightmares, they’d cuddle and mc would listen to him talk about his demons all night

hikaru was terrified she’d leave him one day

but she never did

RHION

they met at an antique store

rhion was looking for a new unique trinket to add to his collection

while mc was simply aimlessly wandering around the shop

when their eyes suddenly met

it was love at first sight

however, they were both too shy to come up to each other

so they just creeped on each other until the store closed

when it was time to go home, rhion instantly regretted not talking to her

he was upset, there was his chance to not be alone anymore, yet he blew it

he felt like a coward

but the next day, rhion got a knock at the door

and it was mc!

turns out, he had dropped his id while paying for his things at the antique store

and mc was there to return it

he told her that he’d “found his alice”

and invited her in for some tea

they talked until the early hours of the morning

she spent the night

then the week

then the month

and that’s when rhion realized, she wasn’t leaving

and he didn’t complain one bit

[unforth]

So keeping in mind that I’ve literally already written a 40k Destiel fic inspired by Selena Gomez’s “Back to You,” today it came up on my play list and I started to think about ficcing it again, but this time Wangxian. It’s just such a ficcable song, I can’t even.

Like, a modern AU (set in the US) where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were once dating, and Wei Wuxian started making friends with “the wrong sorts,” and so Lan Qiren forced Lan Wangji to dump him. They part ways for a few years.

Lan Wangji never really recovers, and he perfunctorily dates the people his uncle sets him up with, and his life kinda stalls...not that there’s anything wrong with it, just...it’s always the same, the same places, the same people, the same work, the same wake up time, the same daily routine, the same bedtime. Sometimes he’s not sure which he misses more - Wei Wuxian, or the disruption to his life that Wei Wuxian represents. He almost wishes that Wei Wuxian has gone as “bad” as Lan Qiren was so, so sure he would, because then it would be proof - that stepping outside the box is not the way to a good life, that Lan Wangji made the right choices even if he’s not happy with them, that kind of thing.

Wei Wuxian also never really recovers, but instead of letting it get him down, he’s even more determined to prove that he’s so much more than what snobs like Lan Qiren thought of him - and so are the friends he made, who are of course Wen Qing and Wen Ning. They also have really had a tough time, with a lot of people assuming the worst about them because of their family connections. The three make a pact together - to succeed, no matter what it takes, and to help each other whenever one of them starts to struggle. And it works. Though they’re a little behind their peers - they all go to college, and they all finish their degrees, they all get advanced ones. Wen Qing becomes a doctor. Wei Wuxian becomes an engineer. Wen Ning becomes a vet. They get respectable jobs, if poorly paid because that’s the economy in 2020s USA, and they’re slowly building lives for themselves. No one from the circles his adopted family move in will associate with him anyway - he got kicked out for some of his youthful shenanigans, and though he’s in touch with his siblings, his “parents” won’t acknowledge him - but he doesn’t care. He knows he’s succeeding, no matter what they say about him.

(read more)

Though Lan Wangji never stops thinking about Wei Wuxian, he refuses to Google him or look him up. Fantasize about him? Yes. Wish his current SO was them? Yes. Occasionally scroll through Jiang Yanli’s friends list just to make sure Wei Wuxian is still there? Yes. But he doesn’t look him up, doesn’t friend him, doesn’t outreach. Why should he? Some regrets are normal, but he’s over it - he’s definitely over it.

Not that Wei Wuxian expected him to. Lan Wangji broke his heart, and it hurt - oh, it hurt so much, but Wei Wuxian is definitely over him. Who needs that asshole anyway? Wei Wuxian knows his worth, and he doesn’t need the affection of someone who cast him aside at the say so of his uncle. If he occasionally comes moaning Lan Wangji’s name...that’s a perfectly normal thing to do as regards someone Wei Wuxian hasn’t dated in a decade, right? Lan Wangji was, and presumably still is, hot as fuck, and Wei Wuxian has a healthy labido

Which is to say, neither of them is over it at all.

Still, their mutual pining might have never come to a head if not for Lan Wangji’s best friend - Jin Zixuan - getting engaged to Wei Wuxian’s sister Jiang Yanli.

And then, suddenly, after so many years, they’re in frequent contact again - helping with planning the wedding - and, well...

For Wei Wuxian, it’s infuriating. There’s Lan Wangji, still quiet, still distant, and sometimes when Wei Wuxian glances his way, he can swear that he caught Lan Wangji looking at him with resentment and regret, which - that’s some fucking bullshit right there, cause it’s not Wei Wuxian who ditched Lan Wangji, not Wei Wuxian who caved to family pressure. That’s all Lan Wangji - what’s Lan Wangji got to resent?

For Lan Wangji, it’s awful. Wei Wuxian is at least 8 times more gorgeous than Lan Wangji remembers him being, tall and lithe, his hair long, his affect casual. Despite the same air of nonchalance he always projected, though, now he’s like that but ALSO educated, successful, and self-made. Every bad thing Lan Qiren said would come to pass for Wei Wuxian is now proven a lie, and Lan Wangji feels wretched about it. Even worse, Wei Wuxian is clearly single - and “ready to mingle,” as Lan Wangji believes the phrase goes. Literally anyone who breaths, of any gender, is apparently fair game, and Wei Wuxian flirts constantly, especially with members of Lan Wangji’s friends circle. Mo Xuanyu? The poor guy never knew what hit him. Lan Jingyi? Is like eight years to young for Wei Wuxian, but that doesn’t stop him. Ouyang Zizhen? Lan Wangji is pretty sure Wei Wuxian doesn’t even know Zizhen’s name - or his age - but again, when did any reasonable objection ever stop Wei Wuxian? Luo Qingyang? She’s a lesbian for fucks sake, but she apparently doesn’t mind, and even flirts back, and Wei Wuxian is incorrigible.

Maybe Lan Qiren was right after all.

Wei Wuxian is determined to flaunt what Lan Wangji missed out on, loudly and publicly. Mo Xuanyu does make for a fun fling, and Lan Jingyi is a good kisser but they never get farther than that. Ouyang Zizhen is definitely too young - and he’s straight - but he laughs along when Wei Wuxian is outrageous, and they understand each other. And Luo Qingyang...Wei Wuxian suspects she knows exactly what the score is, and is maybe even helping him.

Helping him make Lan Wangji miserable, that is.

Wei Wuxian is definitely not looking to accomplish anything else.

Unless he can secure a Plus One to the wedding, ideally one who can join the wedding party and stand beside Wei Wuxian when he and Jiang Cheng give Jiang Yanli away.

Cause, oh, the look on Lan Wangji’s face, if he’s forced to spend the entire wedding facing Wei Wuxian and his date? Priceless, definitely.

Lan Wangji is determined to give Wei Wuxian the space to do...whatever it is Wei Wuxian is doing. Wei Wuxian always was a whirlwind, and Lan Wangji has never wanted to control him, never known how to keep up. Still, it galls to see Wei Wuxian flirting, and it hurts to see Wei Wuxian act indifferently towards him, and it aches to remember that, had things been different, Lan Wangji could have been on the receiving end of all those lovely, carefree smiles.

Rather than deal with the difficulty he has breathing whenever he’s in the same room as Wei Wuxian is in the room, Lan Wangji throws himself into the logistic planning of the final weeks leading up to the wedding. He coordinates vendors. He soothes ruffled feathers. He makes sure the caterers know literally everyone’s dietary preferences and restrictions. He works, and he works, and he works, and he tries to do nothing but work, but sometimes...

...Wen Qing will wander by, take over his spreadsheet, and tell him to go socialize...

...or Wen Ning will intercept the decoration Lan Wangji was moving, lift it surprisingly effortlessly, and tell Lan Wangji to join the main gathering...

...or Luo Qingyang will come and lecture him about how hiding is dumb and maybe he’d actually meet someone new if he tried.

As if Lan Wangji will get to meet someone new.

As if Lan Qiren will let Lan Wangji be with them, even if Lan Wangji did.

They’re trying to help, but he can’t figure out why. Wen Qing and Wen Ning especially are barely even his friends - but they’re closer to Wei Wuxian than anyone else in the world...Lan Wangji can’t fathom what they’re up to. If he didn’t know better, he’d almost think they were trying to get him back together with Wei Wuxian? Which makes him think they don’t know Wei Wuxian half as well as they think they do, cause there’s no way that Wei Wuxian wants that - no way that Wei Wuxian wants him. Lan Wangji had his chance. He gets that.

(But, oh, it’d be nice to believe, even for a minute, even for a single dinner party, that maybe that would be something Wei Wuxian would want.)

But that’s impossible.

So Wei Wuxian flirts shamelessly.

And Lan Wangji hides behind duty and a stoic facade.

And the day of the wedding approaches - they get through the rehearsal dinner, the bachelor and bachelorette parties, the hangovers the next morning, all of it...and then it’s time.

Lan Wangji knows he should be watching Jin Zixuan, dressed in full Chinese traditional garb for an utterly Western style wedding, but instead he can’t keep his eyes off the opposite wedding party. Luo Qingyang is maid of honor, in a chongseom that makes no sense as either traditional Chinese or modern Western - and Jiang Yanli insisted on her brothers standing at her side, and so Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are both there.

In tuxedos.

A sharp contrast to the robes in muted colors that Jin Zixuan picked out for his wedding party.

And Jiang Cheng still has a look on his face like he stepped in something gross and is too dignified to wipe it off on the carpeting, but Wei Wuxian...oh, Wei Wuxian is so perfect, absolutely flawless, and his pleasure is so obviious and uninhibited. From the moment the tent flaps open and Jiang Fengmian walks his daughter, in full Phoenix robes and an elaborate golden head dress (a family heirloom, no less), Wei Wuxian only has eyes for his sister, and his joy for her is spectacular and makes Lan Wangji’s chest ache.

As the ceremony commences - Western secular, seriously, what, not that it’s a surprise, Lan Wangji helped plan it, but it’s still weird - Lan Wangji looses himself in the rhythm of non-religious liturgy and imagining that, had his life gone differently, how Wei Wuxian looks now might have been how he’d have looked on their wedding day.

He wants that so badly.

He so, so desperately wishes that could have been.

For once, Lan Wangji isn’t wrong about Wei Wuxian’s train of thought. He’s got eyes for no one but Jiang Yanli - well, and a small aside of imagining all the ways he’ll make Jin Zixuan regret ever being born, should he ever hurt her. The ceremony passes so quickly he’s amazed - usually he’s super impatient and antsy during events like this - but no, he’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine, he’s...and then it’s over, and he glances to the groom’s party, and he realizes...Lan Wangji is staring at him.

Reflecting back over the ceremony...Lan Wangji has been staring at him the whole time?

And seriously - what the fuck is up with that? What had Wei Wuxian done wrong this time? Was it the tux? Lan Wangji coordinated the rental, if he’d objected to the Western attire, he had plenty of time to say something. Was it the way Wei Wuxian was rocking back on his heels? As if Jiang Yanli didn’t know Wei Wuxian couldn’t stand still - as if she’d ever hold that against him! His mind scrambles through explanations, each more ridiculous and rude than the last...no matter what the reason is, he’s sure that his existence offends Lan Wangji, as it also offended Lan Qiren. If it didn’t, why would Lan Wangji have treated him so indifferently since they re-met?

(It definitely isn’t because Wei Wuxian has intentionally kept him at arms length, oh no, this - whatever this is - is absolutely entirely Lan Wangji’s fault.)

Still, now that he’s aware of Lan Wangji’s condemnation, Wei Wuxian can’t stop thinking about it. It preoccupies him all through agonizingly dull hour of taking group photographs in various places in the picturesque garden, and all through the brief period he actually gets to spend during the passed platter part of the reception - hors d’ouevres to tide the guests over while the family and wedding parties do the pictures - and all through the achingly dull meal. The food is good, Wei Wuxian supposes. The wedding has been nice, Wei Wuxian supposes. Jiang Yanli is elated, Wei Wuxian knows, and he’s delighted for her, but...somehow, the joy has drained out of the evening.

Fucking Lan Wangji - can’t behave himself for one fucking evening, he’s even going to ruin this for Wei Wuxian.

Fuck it - as soon as the meal is over, and the first dances done, and the reception switches from staid social affair to open bar dance party, Wei Wuxian resolves to get sloshed as fast as humanly possible. Anything to stop him from thinking so damn much.

Lan Wangji is one of a handful of designated drivers amongst the people in his generation - he’s expecting to do at least three runs back to the hotel, starting with the bride and groom, then all the Jin half-siblings, then probably the Jiangs, judging by how they’re behaving so far, and then...he doesn’t know, but he suspects there’ll be others. Looking around as the evening grows later, the music louder, and the dancing more raucous, he tries to do a mental tally, and realizes...something is wrong.

No, nothing is wrong...someone is missing.

Where’s Wei Wuxian?

Confused, Lan Wangji looks around again. Wei Wuxian had been dancing - with his sister, with his brother in law, with Luo Qingyang, with Mo Xuanyu, with the folks a half-generation younger like Lan Jingyi, with anyone or anyone, by himself...but no...Luo Qingyang is dancing with Wen Qing, if “intense dance floor frottage” can be considered dancing...and Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli are dancing together, and Mo Xuanyu is flirting with some guy Lan Wangji doesn’t recognize, and the half-generation younger folks are teasing some poor Jiang junior, and Wei Wuxian has been exuberantly present for much of the evening, and now he’s just...gone.

As drunk as Wei Wuxian appeared to be, that can’t be good.

So, concerned - just that Wei Wuxian is drunk and might have tried something dumb, like driving home himself, or gotten lost on the way to the bathroom, or needed to throw up, not about anything else, Lan Wangji is definitely not concerned about Wei Wuxian in any other respect - Lan Wangji goes in search of Wei Wuxian.

He checks around the outside of the tent - nothing.

He checks inside the venue’s main building - nothing.

He checks the bathrooms - nothing.

He checks the parking lots - nothing, and of course Wei Wuxian didn’t take a vehicle, he didn’t drive himself.

He checks everywhere he can think, as the night grows later and darker and the party proceeds and the oldest, most staid guests start to say their goodbyes.

Finally, tired, out of ideas, and disinterested in returning to the loud bright heat of the tent, Lan Wangji goes for a walk through the manicured grounds. Even in the dark of night, the place the Jin-Jiang’s chose is lovely. Scattered decorative lights cast barely enough light to navigate the lanes and paths, aided by a full moon and the occasional flicker of a firefly. There’s a koi pond in the center - they took a lot of pictures there - and a few stone benches around it, so Lan Wangji meanders in that direction. He can still hear the party. He’ll know when they need him. He really needs some time to himself - it’s all been too much.

He tries not to think too hard about what “it” actually refers to in that thought.

Nothing Wei Wuxian does diffuses the empty feeling in his chest; every drink, he feels worse. Every dance, he feels more like he’s putting on an act. His friends were starting to notice - Luo Qingyang and Wen Qing had exchanged a look and then rounded on him like they were going to pin him down and force him to...or try to force him to...talk about his ~feelings~, and so Wei Wuxian fled into the gardens, found a bench where he could listen to the soft sussuration of flowing water somehow audible over the thump of the bass, and breathe.

It’s been a long time since Wei Wuxian felt like he could breathe.

He still doesn’t feel like he can breathe.

Which is ridiculous, he knows, and he’s in the process of going into extensive internal detail of why it’s ridiculous when a damn ghost steps into the clearing around the koi pond...

...no, not a ghost...it’s Lan Wangji, cheeks pale from how much time he spends in doors, robes nearly white when their pale blue is washed out by the moonlight, hair raven falling about his shoulders. His headband frames his noble brow, and his corsage rains a trail of vining flowers over one shoulder like some strange epaulette, and oh, he’s gorgeous, and Wei Wuxian recognizes, to his horror, in that instant...

...he’s never, ever, ever been over Lan Wangji, and he never will be...

...and he’ll never, ever, ever get to be with Lan Wangji. Like, ever.

Lan Wangji is staring at him.

Fuck Wei Wuxian’s life.

“I’ll just...go...” Wei Wuxian mumbles.

The statement hangs heavy in the night air as Wei Wuxian rises, straightens his tux, heads toward the pathway that Lan Wangji just entered from...and then stops.

Because Lan Wangji has grabbed his forearm.

“Oh come on, man - what the fuck?” Wei Wuxian demands, yanking his arm away. “Look, I get it, I’m your least favorite person - well, the wedding’s done, you’ll never have to see me again if you don’t want. Is that what you want? Would that finally make you happy?”

He’s breathing hard by the time he stops talking, and Lan Wangji is still staring at him, and Wei Wuxian wants to flee - not to the tent, but to...literally anywhere...anywhere that Lan Wangji isn’t...except he can’t make his legs work, and he can’t seem to move, and Lan Wangji won’t. stop. staring. and then Lan Wangji opens his mouth, and it seems to be in slow motion, and is he actually going to speak, holy shit, Lan Wangji hasn’t said a word to Wei Wuxian since he said, “good bye” ten years ago, and then of all the fucking things to come out of Lan Wangji’s mouth, all he says is,

“No.”

“Wha...why...ho...WHAT?”

“You asked, ‘is that what I want? Would that make me happy?’ The answer is no, Wei Ying. That is not what I want. That would not make me happy.”

“Oh. Well. Fucking good for you.” Wei Wuxian doesn’t even know what the fuck he’s saying. He doesn’t know what the fuck Lan Wangji is saying. All he knows is that being there hurts, and he’s so damn tired of hurting, and Lan Wangji already destroyed him once...

...and I’d give anything for five minutes with him, even if I know he’ll likely destroy me again...

“What do you want?” asks Lan Wangji, like he actually cares about the answer, and Wei Wuxian can only goggle at him, because he was so so incredibly clear about what he wanted ten years ago - he even fucking asked Lan Wangji to marry him, said, “I’ll do anything, conquer any challenge - we can make this life together, Lan Zhan,” and Lan Wangji had just said, “Good bye,” and now, now, Lan Wangji wants to know what Wei Wuxian wants? What gives him the right? What gives him the entitlement? What gives him the audacity?

What makes him think anything Wei Wuxian wants has changed?

But Wei Wuxian can’t say that, can he...?

The silence stretches out between them.

Neither moves.

Neither speaks.

Fireflies flit around them.

Lan Wangji dreads Wei Wuxian answering, dreads him walking away, dreads losing this last precious moment they share, even though the tension of this moment is so awful that Lan Wangji fears it will break him.

“What would you say if...if I said that all I want...is all I’ve ever wanted?” whispers Wei Wuxian, like he’s terrified.

Lan Wangji has no idea why he’s terrified.

Lan Wangji has no idea what he means.

He asks with a raised brow, and Wei Wuxian laughs awkwardly. “Naw, I can’t do the ‘silent Lan act’ right now. Use your words, I’m fucking right out of here, okay?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try.” It’s ludicrously hard, but...for Wei Wuxain, Lan Wangji will always try, always regret that he didn’t try harder when he should have. “I...don’t understand. You say...what you always wanted. A degree. A found family. Your siblings at your side. A pet rabbit. An apartment with a bidet. A signed copy of ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.’ There were many things you said you wanted. I’m afraid I’m unclear which you mean.”

“You...you remember all that dumb shit I said back then?” Wei Wuxian sounds astonished. How can Wei Wuxian sound astonished? How can Wei Wuxian believe Lan Wangji would have forgotten a minute of those wonderful days - the best of his life?

“Mn.”

“Well, none of that shit’s what I mean. Got most of it anyway. Bidets are awesome. But Lan Wangj...Lan Zhan...”

His name, said in that sweet voice, causes a tingle to go down Lan Wangji’s spine.

“...all I’ve ever wanted was you.”

Lan Wangji’s jaw drops.

“And you told me to fuck right out of your life when I asked for that, so...fuck, what am I even still doing here?”

“Kissing me.”

“Wha--”

Lan Wangji interrupts Wei Wuxian’s confused exclamation with action - grapping Wei Wuxian’s shoulders and pulling him into a kiss. It’s rude, and inappropriate, and consent - what consent? - and Wei Wuxian doesn’t reciprocate but...oh well. Lan Wangji has already ruined his love life. At least he can have one kiss to remember fondly, to cherish, to--

--and then Wei Wuxian has an arm around Lan Wangji’s shoulder, their bodies pressed together, their lips moving as one, and oh, it’s good - glorious - Lan Wangji could weep he’s so happy. They kiss, and kiss, and kiss, shifting in the moonlight, lost in their embrace. Lan Wangji is breathless and growing dizzy, but he’s terrified to put space between them - what if this is goodbye? What if it’s just Wei Wuxian flirting, like he flirts with everyone? What if...what if...what if...

But finally, they do part, and scantly, bodies still close, embrace still maintained, faces inches apart.

“What’s going on, Lan Zhan?” asks Wei Wuxian weakly.

“I kissed you.”

“Yeah...got that part...but why...?”

“I know I’ve no right to ask this...but would you try again? With me? With us? Would you--?”

Wei Wuxian is kissing him again before Lan Wangji can finish the question.

Wei Wuxian can’t believe that’s a real question Lan Wangji has to ask - as if Wei Wuxian wouldn’t have taken Lan Wangji back anytime, at the drop of a hat, over the past decade.

(Okay, that’s unfair...Wei Wuxian’s actually been a huge dick about it...he knows Lan Wangji had no independent living, and relied on his family, and Wei Wuxian was just some aimless jackass, and, and, and...but it still stung that Lan Wangji wouldn’t throw all cares to the wind to be with Wei Wuxian, as Wei Wuxian would have done - had done - to be with Lan Wangji.)

But it feels dumb to dwell on that when Lan Wangji is in his arms, kissing him so eagerly, asking if he’ll try again.

Because of fucking course Wei Wuxian will try again.

“I don’t know what that means, Wei Ying,” says Lan Wangji with obvious frustration.

Kiss.

“It means yes,” Wei Wuxian replies.

Kiss.

“Yes?”

Kiss.

“Yes.”

Kiss.

“Always?”

Kiss.

“If you’ll have me back...”

Kiss.

“As if I’d ever turn you down!”

Kiss.

“Already did once...”

Kiss.

“And regretted it endlessly.”

Kiss.

“Good. You deserved at least that much suffering.”

Kiss.

“Deserved it, and more.”

Kiss.

“I suppose I’ll forgive you, if...”

Kiss.

“Anything. Just tell me.”

Kiss.

Oh, Wei Wuxian has so many ideas, and he delights in teasing Lan Wangji with each and every one, whispered between husky breaths in to the cooling air, interrupting himself constantly to kiss, and kiss, and kiss.

They’re still making out by the koi pond when Wen Qing and Luo Qingyang come looking for the promised designated driver.

They don’t even consult - or consider interrupting - when they do find the two idiots locked in an embrace. As one, the ladies turn, exchange a silent, smug high-five, and pull out their phones to order Ubers.

They can pay for rides for the Bride and Groom and family members and other drunken party goers.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a lot of catching up to do.

(and done)

(oops, this got long)

(and yes, this is absolutely a mash up of a modern AU with the lyrics to “Go Back to You” with a healthy dose of the plot of Jane Austen’s “Persuasion.”)

[sapphire-innit]

@zeta-in-de-walls replying here so we don't get TOO obscenely long (or at least its in a separate post lmao)

YEAHHHH Its a big part of his abuse, taking away Tommy's agency - I'm not surprised he lashed out in any way he could ALLIUM DUO MY BELOVED I am biased for Bench Trio and I'm so happy they really did become a TRIO ; Ranboo has been trying his best literally from the moment he joined the server bless him ...Somehow that's even LESS sympathetic, like at least he INCLUDED Dream in the blame, but really man you're gonna blame the helpless one in this scenario instead of Dream? I'd have much more sympathy if he went after Dream instead. And of course I KNEW probation would never have worked (bc lord knows Dream would have taken the excuse to believe Jack since that just saves him the effort of setting him up himself!) but damn is that rough I have a feeling if that's the attitude Jack was going into this with, and considering what had happened yesterday, it was NEVER gonna go well. Even his first sentence pretty much set Tommy off (WHICH IT SHOULD Holy shit no kidding the guy being abused and separated from all his friends is 'being a bit mean' are you fuckign kidding me..!!) I know everyone was doing it, but I'm still gonna fight every single person on this server who blamed Tommy for Dream's actions ((Tubbo you are on THIN ICE since you were also manipulated pretty directly. EVERYONE ELSE BETTER WATCH OUT THOUGH OR CATCH THESE HANDS)) and yeah stepping back for a minute, it really is the tonal clash of the arcs lol. Objectively Jack's arc is hilarious, I'm just not able to take it that way when cc!Tommy's over here portraying a dark and realistic take on abuse. Its just not gonna happen bruh -- and Tommy's arc continues to be shaped by and play into this kinda thing so really I'm rather soured on the whole lot. Has cc!Jack ever said why he focused his arc around c!Tommy? I assume it was some combination of Actual Friendship + Tommy being one of the more, hm, heroic / sympathetic characters on the server (which of course you'd want for Team Rocket shenanigans) but idk it just seems like they could have worked that out better. These arcs seem really dissonant imo, and maybe they play out differently in practice? But rn I would have preferred if he was heckling someone like, Fundy or even Technoblade. As it is, Jack's actions either get put in a more malicious context than the tone deserves, or Tommy can't engage with them at all, I'd imagine.

As for the others, that's unfortunately pretty realistic as well -- a lot of times abuse can be well hidden, and hard to do anything about. The reality of Dream's control as well, is that L'manburg really do NOT have any teeth against him -- even if they had known that he was going too far or what he was doing, they couldn't have done anything about it. He'd already proven he could back them down, and heck he was actively scaring Tubbo from even visiting. Combine that with the lack of information and a dedicated fault-blaming campaign...

I'm just glad to hear that they DO all eventually come together to face Dream and support Tommy -- helping when you know about it, even if its after the fact.. sometimes that's all you can do unfortunately. Would be better if they helped him DURING but if they don't know, they don't know

Ranboo really is the stand out in this case, since he was able to keep contact, but even then... If you push too hard at a situation sometimes you do the opposite of helping, or get yourself put in a position where you can't help anymore. See Ghostbur -- he pushed as far as he could and eventually got himself chased away by Dream. That happens in real life too, though usually with less Actual Murder Attempts and more concentrated lying about or to the friend involved.

And Ranboo's gentle attempts to push back against Dream's narrative (without pushing Tommy too far either! that's also important and a good way to get yourself accidentally cut off) are really important, and can show them that they do have resources and friends outside of their abuser. It's important for actually getting someone out that they know they have people who still care about them despite whatever fucked up things their abuser is filling their heads with, and that they have somewhere to go. It also can help work as a bit of a reality check when its sorely needed, in the literal sense that their sense of reality is being fucked with and anyone validating their internal POV is probably a good thing, and a move towards giving them some semblance of stability.

Idk, it's a mess, but I WILL throw hands at anyone who knows and blames Tommy for this though. And that INCLUDES Jack, whether his cc was going for a lighthearted arc or not

[lovelivingmydreams]

Paper Flowers: the final count down

Roman and Virgil have a fight as the end of their character’s time on Vine draws nearer every day.

You are giggling as you finish reading a PrincexNemesis fanfic on AO3.

It was a great story about Nemesis, named Marcus/Marcia in the story, was cursed at a young age to switch gender every time the sun passed the horizon. Leading to the poor kid being Marcia by day, the Prince’s bethroted whom he could not stand, and Marcus by night, the Prince’s sworn enemy who he was madly in love with. It was mainly a very funny story and the author left it very vague which gender Nemesis was born with. All they said was that Nemesis would be stuck with the gender they were when the received their first kiss. Which was given to them as Marcus. The tension came from whether Nemesis would be able to avoid getting stuck as Marcia on the wedding day, as he preferred Marcus.

It was very funny, but also surprisingly deep. Or maybe you are reading too much into it.

Just when you pressed ‘post’ on your comment you get an alert.

It’s vine time!

The video opens up and you see Prince pushing of an enemy and stabbing him.

You can hear a cheer and the camera turns to dad. “That’s my boy!” he cheers.

Prince kisses a maidens hand. Once more a shout is heard and you see dad. “Great job buddy!”

Prince polishes his sword, yet another shout. “Just look at you!” dad squeals from the doorway.

Prince looks up exasperated. “Can you not!?” Dad looks sheepishly and slowly glides out of view.

You wipe away a tear as you let your laughter subside. Everyone who’s been to any game or play ever has seen one of those parents.

You’ve seen people on tumblr who have jumped on this ‘the characters all live in the same kingdom’ concept and ran with it. It was a fun world they’d created. Teacher was the Prince’s tutor. Nemesis had several potential backstories, from the son of a nobleman to an orphan servant in the castle. Prince was, obviously, heir to the throne. And dad was either a nanny to the prince and other children in court, or father to the Prince or the nemesis. It made for some fun imagined shenanigans, that was for sure.

You are curious though, what will come next.

...

“No.”

Roman groaned in annoyance. “Anxiety, I don’t need your cooperation to propose a skit idea to Thomas,” he reminded him. He didn’t, he’d never asked before they became friends. But they’d been doing so well on communicating since. What, one might ask, made Roman dismiss Virgil’s input now?

A couple of bad nights, for starters. The fact that they’d been having this argument in front of Patton and Logan for the past half hour, meaning he had to keep up pretenses. And lastly, Virgil was just being difficult on purpose it seemed.

All Roman wanted was to have a nice final skit between their characters before they moved to youtube. There still would be skits involving either of them, but he liked the thought of wrapping up the nemesis story line before starting the story of the prince of creativity and Anxiety on youtube.

Virgil, however, seemed unwilling to even entertain the idea of another Prince vs Nemesis skit entirely. Let alone one to wrap up the semi storyline they’d made.

“Then go ahead and do it. See if I care!” Virgil growled before storming off.

Roman let out a frustrated sigh and dropped in the couch. “Impossible! That man is simply impossible sometimes!” he complained loudly. He was angry with Virgil right now. He wasn’t even going to try to deny that. Virgil could be infuriating sometimes.

And he was going to complain and pout as long as he liked, thank you very much. He was not the unreasonable one in this scenario.

“Kiddo, Anxiety is just like that. You know that he has a tendency to disagree on principle.”

Roman huffed. He knew better. Virgil was not usually difficult for no reason. He was a safety measure of sorts. He made sure they all thought through every decision. Every action.

Often a little too much, but he meant it well.

It was rare that he gave Roman no room to argue. A straight up ‘no’, even before their alliance, was rare. There were arguments, objections, doubts. But ‘no’ was usually with very good reason.

Roman just could not phantom the reason right now though. Which was why he was so angry.

He had learned to manage patience when he could see the source of Virgil’s concern. But now?

“Actually Patton, usually when Anxiety disagrees with us, he has at least some form of reasoning behind it. Be it of an irrational sort. It is not often that he gives no form of motivation behind his outbursts. This would lead me to believe that he has reasons, he just does not wish to discuss them, or maybe even might not wish to acknowledge them to himself.”

Roman listened to Logan making perfect sense, as he tended to do. But he didn’t feel like really thinking about that. He was still upset with Virgil.

“Or maybe he is just in a rude mood,” Roman objected stubbornly.

Logan took in a deep breath. “As much as I dislike figuratively feeding your ego, Roman, I feel like the positive changes in his behavior over the last year might be largely due to you.”

Oh, now this was something Roman was willing to pause his sulking for.

He shot up and looked at Logan expectantly.

Logan looked like he regretted speaking to begin with. Luckily for Roman, Patton had gotten curious.

“What do you mean?” he asked. Roman thought there was a strange sting to Patton’s voice, but he must’ve been mistaken, surely.

“Roman… You have been different ever since you asked for your memories of interactions with Anxiety… What was it that you found in there?”

Oh, no. Damn him and his promises.

Roman shrugged, feigning losing interest. “He saved Thomas and his friend earlier that day, and he didn’t seem to consider that a big deal. So I got curious and looked back and found that most of what he said, like you mentioned could maybe be read as trying to help somehow.”

Roman prayed Logan wouldn’t ask more. Luckily he didn’t.

“I see. I assume that this new information led to you changing your approach to your communication with Anxiety and this led to him being less tense around you.

He let you convince him to interact with us, he made an effort to explain himself and collaborated more on your projects,” Logan deduced.

“Could it be that to Anxiety, the start of that positive change in his life is connected to the skits between your character and his?” he wondered.

Roman’s eyes widened. “What? So me ending that storyline feels like me rejecting him or something?” he asks a little incredulously.

Logan looked up in surprise. “Well… That is a possibility,” he nodded. Why was he so shocked Roman could figure stuff out on his own. He could be empathetic enough for this. He might be the ego but he was not that self-centered. Bonds with others was high on his priority list too.

“The poor kiddo feels like he’s all alone now,” Patton mused sadly.

Roman got up. He was not ready to feel bad for Virgil. Especially when he was being ridiculous. As if Roman would end their friendship like this. Did he think so little of him?

He stormed off to his room and landed himself on his bed.

He wasn’t in the wrong, it was not his job to apologize. He kept repeating that to himself but occasionally he wondered if Virgil was overthinking right now. Thinking that Roman hated him now…

No. He was not in the wrong, he got to be mad if he wanted to. Virgil got to be mad with him when he got lost in a monologue and got all kinds of ideas stuck in Thomas’ head without consulting anyone making Virgil feel like he had to be the bad guy for scaring Thomas away from the ideas he loved too much to let anyone else convince him to adjust them.

He’d swallowed his pride and apologized to Virgil then.

So he was going to be petty and stubborn for as long as…

There was a knock at his door. Roman shot up and walked over to his front door and opened it. There was no one to be seen. When he looked down though, he saw something that took his breath away.

He picked up the paper purple hyacinth and the accompanying note.

“I know you are mad. Please let me explain before you hate me forever? I’ll be waiting.”

Roman let out a sigh. Purple hyacinths represent sorrow and regret. And it must’ve been such a pain to get the paper to bend to his will like this.

Now Roman had to go and meet Virgil. He put the flower in the vase along with the rest of the assemble bouquet and hurriedly opened the door to the field.

“Virgil?” he called out before he even closed it.

The anxious man was pacing through the field, trampling a path in the ground.

Luckily the field fixed itself every time they left.

Virgil looked up and his shoulders relaxed. Clearly he saw Roman’s swift arrival as a good sign.

His anger already fading, Roman added the hyacinths to the field to show he’d gotten his apology gift and accepted it.

“I thought about what I said… Or didn’t say and… Maybe I was just… I didn’t want us to stop making skits together,” he rambled, playing with his hoodie sleeves and pointedly not looking at Roman.

Roman let out a sigh. Logan had been on the right path then.

“Virgil, you really think that I did not enjoy working on those with you?” he asked.

Virgil shrugged.

“Well I did. Therefore I will call upon your aid any chance I get. I actually expect you to assist me quite often in the creation of the sanders sides series and many other projects. I merely wanted to give the fanders a satisfying ending to the adventures of the prince and his nemesis on vine,” he explained calmly.

Virgil nodded. “Yeah… I’m sorry. Really I am. I was pretty rude to you and you did nothing to deserve it,” he said softly, glancing up at Roman nervously.

“You are forgiven, Grim Creeper,” Roman smiled reassuringly.

Then he got an idea. It would let him vent the last bits of frustration and Virgil could maybe work of some angsty energy as well. “If you really feel like you’ll miss the prince and the nemesis that much though…”

And just like that Roman summoned two swords, tossing one to Virgil who caught it in surprise.

“I shall teach you the art of the blade!” he declared.

Virgil rolled his eyes but smirked. “Let me have it Princey,” he challenged.

...

While the two younger sides sparred in the field, the fatherly side was headed to the stairs leading down in search of an anxious sides room. Hoping he’d be let in now.

“Patton?” Logan called.

Patton flinched at being spotted. Though he wasn’t sure why. Was it so bad that he tried to help Anxiety?

“Hya Logan!” Patton greeted sheepishly. “I was going to make sure Anxiety was okay…”

Logan cocked his head. “Patton, I’m obviously no expert, but if my interpretation of his thought process of today was correct, he feels rather vulnerable right now. While that might mean he’s more open to sharing and closeness, it also means he might be in a state of heightened alertness.

If you attempt to approach him now you could very well make things worse with small mistakes.”

Patton bit his lip. Logan was right. Anxiety was not in a right state of mind. If Patton wanted to him to let him in, then it couldn’t happen when he was feeling hurt and alone. No matter how badly Patton wanted to comfort him. Going in now would be for Patton’s sake. Not Anxiety’s.

“We will make our way back to him Patton. Who knows? Maybe Roman’s youtube project lends us a chance to interact with him more frequently,” Logan offered.

Patton nodded. They’d get there. Sooner or later they’d be a happy family.

He just had to be patient and let Anxiety decide when he felt ready to try again.

Intorducing the sides

@vixdoesbadart @vpow @apinkline2715 @tired-yeetling @firegirl156 @soysaucevictim @1nsomniacwriter @moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse

[arashikitten]

Why has no one made a Yu Yu Hakusho x Danny Phantom crossover yet?

?I mean, honestly, look at these two shows! Look at them! How is it that no one (that I know of) has made a crossover with them yet? There’s so much potential!  I mean honestly! Both are about a 14-year-old who died in or before the first episode, came back to life through some sort of shenanigans, and ended up with supernatural abilities as a result. Both Danny and Yusuke have a very close knit friend group comprised of people who know about said supernatural abilities and help them fight all form of malicious supernatural entities (Danny fights ghosts, Yusuke fights demons). Both Yusuke and Danny have a rival/arch-nemesis who, at the start of the series, is leagues above the protagonists in terms of power, but ends up being surpassed by the main protagonist sometime during the second season of their respective show. Both Vlad and Toguro serve as foils to Danny and Yusuke respectively, and while they may feel some sort of kinship with them for some reason or other, they tend to see the young protagonist as someone who is below them in terms of power, intelligence, and skills (even after that is no longer the case). Both Danny and Yusuke are snarky and seem like delinquents to all but their closest friends, but secretly they have a heart of absolute gold. Both would (and have) died for any one of their friends, and they likely have a metric fuck ton of trauma from the many, many, many times they almost watched their friends and family die right in front of them. And of course, both Danny and Yusuke are likely to become kings of their own supernatural realm (if you disregard DP’s canon in favor of the fanon like I do).

So then the question becomes this: how would a crossover between the two shows go?

Here’s how I see it playing out:

Sometime after the last episode of Yu Yu Hakusho, and right after the events of Reign Storm, Yusuke (who I would say is about 18-19 years old now) gets a call from Koenma for the first time in almost 4 years. Koenma tells Yusuke that he needs him to come back for one final case: investigate a small town in Northeastern America for recent spikes in spiritual and demonic activity. 

When Yusuke asks why Koenma wants him to look into what is seemingly a tourist trap town, Koenma tells him that the town was recently encased under a dome of spirit energy, disappeared for almost 24 hours, and then suddenly reappeared again, and Koenma suspects that someone- or something- from spirit world might be responsible.

Three calls and four plane tickets later, Yusuke and the gang land in Illinois and make their way to Amity Park. Kuwabara takes one (1) step into the town and immediately freezes. He’s always been the most spirit-sensitive of the group, and this town is setting off all of his proverbial alarms. Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke also notice something off about the town, like everyone here has way higher spirit energy than normal. 

The four make their way through town, noticing more and more as they continue. They notice the massive craters that litter the streets. They notice the constant smell of spirit and demon energy that drenches the town like a fog, covering everything and everyone. They notice the small, silvery-grey and green devices that almost everyone seems to have on their wrist, and Yusuke can’t help but think about how similar they look to the spirit-detecting gadgets he used to have back during the beginning of his detective career. They notice the metal panels that every store seems to have hanging above their windows, waiting to come down and defend from some unknown beast.

They notice how, whenever they appear in an area, everyone in the vicinity goes silent. Tense. Wary of them. Like they know three demons just appeared, even if all of them look human.

Yusuke and his team split up to search through the town and cover more ground, agreeing to meet by the local highschool in two hours. Things just get even weirder from there. 

 Kurama finds a patch of wild blood blossoms growing near the forest, despite the fact that they were declared extinct more than 200 years ago. Hiei sees a pair of burly men wearing all white suits and dark sunglasses dragging a young man with white hair and sunglasses away for questioning. Kuwabara is surprised when a small, glowing green puppy appears in front of him, only to vanish when he leans down to pet it.

Yusuke finds a massive stone brick building with what almost looks like a UFO perched on top, and huge neon sign with the words FentonWorks on it. Here, the spirit energy is almost suffocating, and it feels like molasses, thick and heavy and dense on Yusuke’s senses. He feels something else though, something that just barely manages to break through the thick ambient spirit energy that swamps this entire block: a ghost. And a powerful one at that.

By the time the group reconvenes at the high school, everyone is tense. They’re sure that there’s something sketchy in this town, but none of them have gotten any concrete leads on what caused the town’s sudden disappearance and reappearance. Almost none of the townsfolk give them any answers, and the few that do are vague and confusing, or outright lies. Kuwabara firmly believes that this town is haunted by ghosts, and that they’re what caused the sudden disappearance, but Yusuke, having been a ghost himself at one point, is less inclined to believe that. Yusuke is convinced that the house with the weird UFO thing and abnormal spirit energy has something to do with it, and the gang agrees that would be the best place to start.

Before they can do that though, they all suddenly sense a MASSIVE spike in spirit energy, coming from the center of town. Yusuke and the gang book it to where the spike is, hoping to get some sort of lead.

Meanwhile, Danny is having a fight with Skulker, made slightly more difficult than normal due to the fact that he’s still recovering from the whole Pariah Dark fiasco. He’s been on edge all day, ever since he sensed that weird ectosignature near his house. He’d felt the typical chill of his ghost sense, but the typical puff of blueish smoke wasn’t present like it usually was. On top of that, he’d felt a small jolt of electricity, too big to be chalked up to static electricity and carrying with it a hint of... something. Something not entirely human. 

But when Danny had tried to investigate, he’d come up empty handed. Which as you can guess, made Danny My-friends-and-family-have-all-almost-been-killed-by-a-ghost-disguised-as-a-human-at-least-once Fenton more than a little nervous.

So Danny’s fighting Skulker when he feels that not-quite ghost sense again, except this time it’s even stronger than before and waaaay the hell closer. And now Danny goes from nervous to flat out terrified, because whoever or whatever is triggering his not-quite ghost sense is really fucking strong, and oh fuck are there four of them?! Are they getting closer?!?! Whatever it is is really strong, like almost stronger than Pariah Dark and Danny was barely able to take him down at 100% strength with the enhanced suit, and he no longer has the suit and he still has not fully recovered since then, so how in the fresh hell is he gonna fight four beings who are at least on par with Pariah? 

Skulker notices the sudden power spike as well and immediately bounces, leaving Danny to panic over these four insanely powerful entities. 

Yusuke and the gang make it just in time to see Skulker leave while Danny hovers in the air, looking like he’s about to blow a gasket. Kurama takes one look at the panicking ghost kid floating above him, notices the weird spirit energy around the kid, and immediately puts two and two together and realizes the kid is a ghost, and a really powerful one. Yusuke, who if you remember spent about a week as a ghost at the age of 14, is confused because I thought ghosts couldn’t be seen by living people? But these bystanders are clearly seeing this kid? 

And then Yusuke senses that strange spirit energy he felt when he went by FentonWorks, and he’s like “You were the reason for the weird spirit signature!” at Danny, who panics and flies off because now he thinks these super powerful guys are working for the GiW, and he’d rather not spend the rest of his afterlife on an examination table.

So Danny flies off, hoping to lose Yusuke and his gang, but Yusuke I-used-to-fight-demons-who-could-move-at-the-speed-of-sound-for-fun Urameshi and Hiei have absolutely no problem keeping up with the panicking halfa, and they end up fighting. Yusuke and Hiei want answers, Danny is terrified of being caught by what are possibly government agents, and finally Kurama manages to trap the halfa with ghostly vines.

Unfortunately for Danny, these vines are phase-proof, meaning he can’t escape, and he’s already hurt and exhausted and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold his ghost form.

Yusuke picks up on the ghost’s nervousness immediately, and again assumes that this ghost is the culprit for Amity’s sudden disappearance, demanding to know why he abducted an entire town.

Danny is confused, because what the hell are these people talking about? He never abducted the town? He’s not nearly that powerful?? Before he realizes that oh, these people are trying to figure out why the town disappeared for 24 hours because literally no one outside of Amity Park has any idea why.

So Danny starts to explain what really happened, when his time finally runs out and he detransforms. 

Right in front of what he believes to be four government officials.

There are five different reactions.

Hiei goes still. He’s completely silent. This shouldn’t be possible. He wants to believe that this is all a trick, but he can hear that fifth heartbeat that wasn’t there ten seconds ago and he smells that fear scent that only humans have and glamour can only do so much.

Kurama has the calmest reaction. He leans back a little, eyes wide, and lets out a soft “oh”. Yes, this is a surprise to him, but then again, Kurama himself is a demon hiding as a human, with a human family, so he immediately sympathizes with Danny a bit.

Danny is panicking. He’s just revealed his biggest secret to four complete strangers, all of whom are absolutely powerful enough to take him out on their own, and he is terrified that they’ll turn him in to the government. He’s about five seconds from a full-blown panic attack.

Kuwabara freaks out. He’s trying to wrap his mind around this whole thing, because he is 100% sure this kid was a ghost, that he was dead, but now he’s not sensing much of anything and how the hell is this possible???? How can someone be a ghost and a human at the same time???? WHAT????? He’s pulling at his hair as he tries to put the logistics of it together, pacing back and forth.

Yusuke freezes. Suddenly he’s 14 again, floating as he watches his body get carted off as he tries to come to terms with the fact that he’s dead. Then he’s in the temple of the four saint beasts, fighting with everything he has as he watches the love of his life get attacked by monstrous zombies. Then kneeling next to Genkai’s broken and bleeding body, begging her not to go even as she draws her last breath because he couldn’t bear to lose the woman that he’s come to see as family, as the closest thing he’d ever have to a grandmother. Then he’s watching Toguro plunge his hand into Kuwabara’s heart, watching as his best freind gasps for breath because Yusuke wasn’t good enough, he wasn’t strong enough, and he just lost Genkai he can’t loose Kuwabara too-.

And when he looks down at this small, skinny teenager with deep shadows under his eyes and knuckles covered in scars from god-knows haw many fights, he sees himself as he was in the beginning: Just a kid who was thrust into the world of the supernatural without any warning, desperately trying to stay alive and protect the human world despite the fact that he’s only a teenager, and he shouldn’t have to be fighting for his life against these ancient and powerful demons because he’s a kid, dammit!

Yusuke kneels down to get to eye level with the kid. He can’t help the painful twinge in his chest when the kid looks up at him with wide, icy blue eyes, and quietly begs him not to tell anyone, because this kid can’t be much older than he was when he started out as a spirit detective and he sounds absolutely terrified, and Yusuke can’t help but wonder why he sounds so scared of people learning about the whole ghost thing. 

“Listen, kid. We’re not going to hurt you. We were sent here to investigate something, and we were hoping you might know something. Can you tell us your name?”

“Danny. D-Danny Fenton.”

“Ok, cool. Don’t worry, none of here are going to tell anyone about... about whatever this is. We just want to know about something that happened here a week ago, and we were hoping you could give us some answers.”

Danny agrees, and Kurama frees him from the vines. After a couple of moments, Danny calms down as he realizes that no, these guys won’t rat him out to the government, and he agrees to answer some of their questions.

The group make their way to the outskirts of the forest, and Danny tells them about his status as a half-ghost: he tells them about his parents, how they were building a portal to the ghost zone (Everyone is more than a little freaked out at that, because now there’s a permanent portal to spirit world that Koenma doesn’t know about), how he’d gone inside to see if he could figure out why it wasn’t working, how it’d turned on while he was inside (Yusuke clenches his fists hard enough to draw blood. Both of the times he’d died had been excruciatingly painful, but at least they’d been quick. Getting electrocuted to death would be beyond agonizing, and getting caught in a portal like that...). He tells them about how his parents despise ghosts, believing them to be cruel, malicious, and emotionless, incapable of feeling pain. He tells them about how he’s TERRIFIED of telling his parents the truth, of telling them that he’s Danny Phantom because that seems to be the ghost they want to capture the most, and he’s seen what they do to the ghosts they capture (Kurama and Yusuke feel sick at that. No wonder the kid was so adamant about keeping this a secret.). 

“Does anyone else know? Anyone at all?”

Yusuke breathes a small sigh of relief when Danny tells them that his sister and his two best friends know. That sigh of relief is rescinded when the kid tells them that oh yeah, all the ghosts that are constantly attacking the town? Yeah, they know my secret identity too.

Yusuke has to force himself to move on from that last tidbit because he’s about five seconds from adopting this kid despite being only five years older.

“Ok, neat. That’s... that’s ok. Moving on to why we’re here. We were hoping that you would have some information regarding the sudden disappearance and reappearance of Amity Park a week ago? Do you know why or how it happened?”

Danny talks about how, one week ago, ghosts started pouring out of the portal in unprecedented numbers. How they were terrified, running from something in the ghost zone. How Fright Knight had appeared, declaring the reign of Pariah Dark (Kurama and Hiei suck in a breath. Had... had this kid seriously fought against the fabled ghost king?), and the massive green dome had appeared over the town. How he’d tried to fight Fright Knight off, how another ghost by the name of Vlad Plasmius had shown up and admitted that he was the reason for Pariah Dark’s temporary freedom, how Plasmius had decided to have a temporary truce with Danny in order to defeat Pariah, how Danny had pulled Fright Knight’s sword from the ground and accidentally teleported Amity Park into the Ghost zone, how the entire town had gone under lock down. How he’d stolen the power suit from his parent’s lab to go and face Pariah on his own, and bring Amity back to Earth. How he’d just barely been able to shove Pariah back in the sarcophagus of Forever Sleep, how the power suit had almost completely drained his life energy, how the town had been back on earth when he’d woken up (Again, Yusuke has a flashback to the Temple of the Four Saint Beasts. What is it with the powers that be and sending kids to do life-threatening missions like that?).

Kurama records the entire thing before sending it to Koenma. 

When Danny is finally done, he notices that everyone is staring at him. Yusuke is the first one to speak.

“Damn kid, you really fought the king of the Ghost Zone, huh?” Danny stutters for a moment, because this guy is saying it like Danny fought a god or something. Like yeah, it was difficult, but it can’t be that big a deal right?

Then Kurama speaks up. “Danny, I don’t think you understand. There are two ways to crown a king of the Ghost Zone: either the ghost zone itself must choose someone, or the current ghost king must be defeated in battle. You defeated Pariah Dark in battle. Meaning....”

Everyone goes silent for a moment, processing.

Then several things happen at once. Danny, who at this point still hasn’t fully processed that oh yeah, I defeated one of the most powerful ghosts in existence, freaks the hell out because I barely have time to protect one (1) town, how am I going to rule an entire dimension? Kuwabara is flipping his shit again, Hiei is contemplating, and Yusuke.... Yusuke decides screw it, I’m having an apprentice now, and after calming Danny down, he offers to help train him up a bit (Somewhere in spirit world, Genkai starts quietly laughing).

Danny agrees after a moment of deliberation. Yusuke hangs out in Amity for a bit to help Danny. His first interaction with Sam and Tucker is.... interesting. Yusuke snuck up on Sam and Tucker, and Sam promptly punched him in the face and almost broke his nose. But after a bit they start to warm up to him, and eventually Yusuke starts teaching Sam some hand to hand along with Danny.

Vlad makes one appearance while Yusuke is there. He sensed some sort of foreign presence in Amity and wanted to see if he could exploit it, only for Yusuke I-haven’t-slept-in-a-week-and-I-refuse-to-start-now Urameshi to wipe the floor with him. When he asks Danny who the new ghost is, he is surprised to learn that no, Danny is not the only half-ghost in existence, and also that guy is a famous millionaire and also knows my secret identity so maybe let’s not break into his mansion to fight him please? (Yusuke agrees not to after a very lengthy argument. Still, the whole situation reminds him a little too much of Toguro and the Dark tournament, and he quietly asks Koenma to open an investigation into this Vlad Plasmius guy.)

Yusuke’s introduction to Danny’s parents goes... surprisingly well, actually. Aside from one small incident where one of the Fenton ghost detectors lock on to Yusuke’s signature, everything goes fairly well. Jack and Maddie take a shine to him almost immediately, when they see him curb stomp Skulker with a practiced ease that only a professional should have, and within the week Yusuke is an honorary member of the Fenton family.  

There’s a lot more, but this post is waaaay too long as it is. Feel free to add on!

[corruptedconfessions]

Are you still in the kiri mood? If yes, can you yeet him into this thought: different yanderes (izuku, bakugo, kiri, or whomever you want!) Reacting to a touch starved reader. Ever the stubborn captive, they deny they want anything to do with the yandere, but during some forced fluff shenanigans, the yandere accidentally squeezes readers legs/ holds onto readers shoulders deeply, and reader let's out a moan. Thanks! And remember to drink water and take a break if you need!

Ngl Kirishima, Bakugo, and Hizashi are like the 3 yanderes im always down to write 24/7

they all live in my head rent free

This one is more of an imagine/drabble thing, I threw in another bonus yandere bc I feel like he fits the prompt well. I hope thats all okay <3

Also thank you for your kindness <3 Im hydrated and hopefully ready to write out some fics! I have a few drafts in my computer already :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirishima is the very definition of clingy yandere, he is practically the poster boy for clingy, so it won’t be very long into your...moving in (he refuses to admit he kidnapped you! You were just too shy to ask yourself so he encouraged you! Don’t worry he gets the message no matter what you say otherwise!) that he’ll catch on to you being so desperately touch starved despite angrily telling him to fuck off every time he tries to cuddle. Being the ever delusional puppy he is he just assumes that you’re shy and keeps doing it even more

He’ll try to respect your space and let you come to him naturally but he’ll still insist on being close to you, dragging you to sit on the couch, you sitting on one end with him sitting on the other, your legs entangled in the middle. He’ll wait until you are engrossed in the tv or your book or whatever hobby of choice you have (the poor sap will buy you anything you ask, he just wants you happy) making sure you’re completely relaxed before he slowly slides a bit closer, reaching out to run his hands across your legs, squeezing and massaging them gently. Honestly he expected you to kick him or freeze up, stare at him in fear and confusion and anger like you always did whenever he reached out to touch you.

But you didn’t do any of that. If anything you relaxed, arching up into his touch as a soft breathy moan slipped past your lips, causing both of you to freeze at the same time, staring wide eyed at each other, stunned. 

If you thought Kirishima was clingy before you would be dead wrong compared to his behavior after that. He’s constantly by your side whenever he can, brushing against you in the kitchen when the two of you are cooking or washing dishes, moving closer to bump shoulders when the two of you are close by, constantly touching your hair, your neck, your shoulders, everywhere. You’ll be overstimulated and stressed but there is no going back now that he knows. Cuddles and spooning sessions whenever he can get you to sit still, honestly I wouldn’t put it past him to whine and demand you sit on his lap sometimes too, or at least lay against him and let him give you massages when the two of you are curled up on the couch. 

And that isn’t even getting started on sexual touching. He’ll be like a dog in heat, constantly aching for you, practically humping you any chance he gets. He’ll wrap his arms around you waist and hold you close as he grinds his hard on against your ass, trying to pull out those cute little noises that you’ll make. Pins you against the counter, over the couch, on the table, anywhere and everywhere is free game. 

And know that his poor sweet darling is touch starved? He’ll be quick to try and remedy that, he’ll tie you down to the bed and get you off just by rubbing his hands across your skin, massaging you, kissing you, just touching you. He won’t stop no matter how much you plead until he is done and he is sure that you have gotten the attention you deserve from him. 

Izuku is probably one of the best yandere matches for a touch starved darling, he is so submissive and cuddly for his darling, but not so much so its overstimulating and overwhelming like other yanderes. Unlike others he is more likely to let you have your space when he...first takes you home. He understands moving is a big change and you need your time and space to adjust and adapt to your new surroundings. He may coax you out with your favorite home made meals and promises of hot baths or treats, but he’ll smile and suck it up when you yell and scream at him, saying you want nothing to do with him. You’re just stressed and adjusting thats all! He can wait you out. 

Now just because he is patient and understanding doesn’t mean he just lets you do whatever you want.  He has needs too! The entire reason he had you...move in was so he could be closer to you and spend more time with you without anyone else interfering! Even you just being in the same room with him without throwing a fit is enough for him to feel like his patience is being rewarded.  

That patience wont last forever, though.

He tries to work his way up slowly, very slowly demanding more of you, insisting you stay just a minute longer, let him stand just an inch closer, it will be so slow you wont even realize you are practically cuddling up to him until it’s too late and you are so use to an reliant on him that you can’t go back to isolating yourself again. 

He’ll always have an idea that you are a bit more...starved for attention than others but he won’t get confirmation until months into your captivity. He’ll sweetly insist that you seem stressed and that you should let him give you a massage to help you relax. His calloused hands will reach out, squeezing your shoulders soothingly, coaxing a soft happy moan from your lips.

Oh sweetheart! How can you expect him to hold back when you make such sweet noises just from a simple touch? He may be a gentleman but even he has his limits...

You can bet there will be more...touching in your future. And much less patience towards an aversion to it. 

Bakugo is probably one of the worst (yandere) matches for a touch starved darling imo, the poor boy is sensitive and touch starved himself, and with his aggression he would probably just end up overstimulating his darling, and not in a good way. He’d much rather be on the receiving end of massages and pets, nuzzling himself into your chest or your stomach as you stroke his hair and tell him what a good boy he is. 

Having said that he would catch on pretty quick to your little act, seeing right past the screaming and defiance and your insistence that you want nothing to do with him, which is going to get you locked up in the basement and punished heavily, he sees the subtle ways you act that remind him of himself, that tell him exactly what he needs to know. 

Unlike the others when he reaches out for you, he knows exactly what he is doing and exactly what kind of reaction he is going to get. The shit eating smirk on his face as you moan in surprise tells everything. He’ll keep touching you, fingers digging into your skin just a little too hard, trying to drag more of those noises out of you until you are trembling under him, left feeling raw and sensitive. If you’re lucky he might notice that he went to far and be how ever much more gentle next time as he can be, but honestly after that he’s the same old Bakugo. He doesn’t go out of his way to touch you more, if he wants to wrap his arms around you he will, if he wants you on his lap he’ll pull you onto his lap, if he wants to lay on you, fuck what you’re doing, you get a lapful of Bakugo. 

That act doesn’t hide the way that he curls around you and cuddles you way closer at night in those tender moments, though. 

Hawks is another very handsy yandere. He wants constant contact and attention from his darling, so much so its almost impossible to keep up with his incessant demands for your attention, it grows draining. Even negative attention in the form of screaming, crying, fighting seems to fuel him. He just wants you to be looking at him, he doesnt care how. He’ll be the quickest to figure it out since if you wont give him attention he’ll give you his. He’s constantly reaching out to touch you in some way or form, be it grabbing your ass, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, or curling his wings around you to pull you closer to him,  you’ll always know if Hawks is home and where he is since theres always some part of him reaching for you. He’s a weird mix of aware and delusional, he knows he has kidnapped you and you’re unhappy because of it, but part of him also believes he just needs to take good care of you and that you love him anyways. Because of that he’s just constantly trying to please you to try and “make up” for kidnapping you. (He often brushes it off like he got the wrong food or forgot to text you back instead of something more serious)

It’ll happen when you’re standing still, he’ll sneak up behind you, reaching out and squeezing your shoulders, rolling his thumbs across them in a brief massage as he happily opens his mouth to greet you, only to be interrupted by the cutest moan bubbling out of you as you arch your back, pushing into his touch with a soft gasp. 

Immediately you’ll find yourself pinned down to the couch or the bed, whichever is closer. Hands will be dragged across your body, desperately repeating that movement and many others, anything to drag those sweet noises you had been hiding from him out. He wont be satisfied until you are near tears, gasping and limp under his touch, having given him all your cute little noises, surrendering yourself fully to him. 

Not much will change after that, he is just as clingy and handsy as before, but now he knows all the pretty noises and faces you can make for him, and he practically pounces on you every time he comes home, desperate to hear more. 

[vagrantblvrd]

thinking bout your were-cat aus and wondering bout werecat dinlukeXD

Haha, omg, yessss.

Modern AU or some such where Din helps out what he thinks is a normal stray cat and gets bitten for his trouble? Doesn’t think too much of it aside from getting the bite looked at because cat bites, right?

And then a few weeks later around the time of the full moon he wakes up somewhere he doesn’t recognize without any memory of how he got there and it’s like. Not unusual in his younger years because ~youthful shenanigans, but now, okay.

He’s a responsible (mostly???) adult with a job and bills and a kid - and thanks God Cara was watching Grogu for him, but she’s got to be worried/pissed by now, and anyway.

Last thing he remembers was going to see Boba about something and then he woke up wherever he is, so like. Not too far a stretch to think the two are connected.

(Wouldn’t be the first time, anyway.)

So he goes to get his kid and make his excuses to Cara who doesn’t buy it - Din looks too confused about things - trying to figure out what the hell happened - for it to be another Boba-related thing, but whatever. He seems okay and she’s running late for something so she’ll get the real story out of him later, right?

Meanwhile Din is telling himself this weirdness won’t happen again - can’t afford to let it, you know, because Grogu and all.

But it does.

Another month later and this time Din remembers bits and pieces of it - which don’t make sense because werecat and new instincts and such?

Also the bit before the Confusion of waking up in a weird place again where he can see better in the dark now and his senses are sharper and also he’s started making these weird noises when he’s super content???

Grogu sitting in his lap telling him about his day at school or whatever and just, yes.

Anyway.

He wakes up in a strange place and goes to talk to Boba about it, which gets him a weird look and then a concerned look and Boba looking into it for Din.

Doesn’t find a lot, but promises him he’ll keep looking and in the meantime Din has other worries to deal with between one thing and another, and before he knows it another month goes by and the full moon comes around.

He wakes up in a weird place, but it’s not the only weird thing to happen because he’s a cat???

Big thing, long dark fur and confused eyes staring back at him from the first reflective surface he can find and what the hell is going on?

And then shenanigans because he’s in a weird part of town and there are suddenly dogs chasing him and he’s a big cat, sure, but no match for the dogs, so ALL the running.

And while he’s running noise and light or something catch his eye and he looks up in this alley he’s running through, sees an open window up a few floors, handy fire escape and is like safety???

The dogs are big clumsy bastards, might be able to follow him up the fire escape but won’t fit through the window.

Might be going into a worse situation there, but better than letting the dogs catch him and anyway, too late now.

Din darting through the open window and startling the apartment’s occupant - feels a little bad about that, but more concerned about the dogs. One or two managed to follow him up the fire escape but like he’d hoped they can’t get through the window, cracked open just enough for him to get in, and anyway.

“Oh, wow,” Din hears, and turns to see the apartment’s occupant staring at the widow and the dogs who eventually give up and bumble their way down to the ground below and the rest of their little pack. “Wasn’t expecting that today.”

Which, you know, who would, is the thing?

But also new potential danger in this person who is now staring at the sudden cat in their apartment and really, not a great day for Din.

And Luke - because of course it’s Luke - is just confused and a little amused at the sudden cat-thing, but weirder things have happened to him.

Which he says to Din as he gets a little bowl and fills it with water that he sets down for Din not knowing how long he’s going to stick around, but water’s good, right? Everyone needs water and he’s probably thirsty after that chase, and anyway, don’t mind him.

Din is like ??? but Luke’s right about him being thirsty and he doesn’t seem bothered by Din’s sudden appearance, and anyway.

He drinks some water - makes a mess of it before he figures it out, and gives Luke this unimpressed look when the man has the gall to laugh at him.

And then take pictures of Din, water down his face and chest and pretty much a disaster.

“In case someone’s looking for you,” Luke says, although he’s still laughing and clearly not as nice as he seems, and anyway.

That reminds Din that oh, hey, he’s apparently a cat now and what is he going to do about it and Grogu now?

The window’s still open so he runs right on out and decides Boba is his best bet for help right now.

Not like he expects the man to know what to do, but Boba, you know? Someone Din trusts not to freak out about the whole suddenly a cat thing and might know something about it.

Bob is like, “Well, this is different,” but not in a bad way and Din gives him one of those unimpressed looks because not helpful?

But Boba is less worried about Din now that they have an explanation for the weirdness going on with him other than who the hell even knows, Djarin, you get in the weirdest situations, right?

Din turns back into a human in the mornig and Boba gives him this look, like see? weird situation, Djarin, and tells him he might know some people who can help, but for now go home and look after your kid, which Din does.

Din goes back to Boba’s the next day and meets one of his business associates, a woman by the name of Fennec Shand, and while Din is glad to meet her and all he doesn’t see what it has to do with his situation?

And then suddenly there’s a cat.

Sleek black-furred thing with bright amber eyes and oh, Din thinks, oh shit.

The cat looks a sight better than the last time he saw it - her - back in that alley caught up in a nasty little trap he helped her out of and got bitten for his trouble.

This whole thing where Fennec thanks him for his help and apologizes for biting him - “It wasn’t my best day,” she says with a little shrug, and anyway, welcome to the wonderful world of being a werecat, Djarin.

She offers to help him figure the whole thing out, teaches him what he needs to know - “Wait, so I can change when it’s not the full moon?” - and so on, and Din, okay.

Not sure he wants any part of being a werecat but left with precious little choice, and anyway, at least he knows what the hell is going on with him, you know?

Din pays close attention to what Fennec tells him, teaches him. Sighs at the fact things are going to be a little...weird through the first few full moons, but it’ll level off once he gets a hold on the whole werecat business.

And it’s like.

Weird as hell, but still not the weirdest thing to happen to him so he just. Deals with it.

Sometimes that means he ends up wandering around the part of town where he sought refuge in that one guy’s apartment, but it’s not like he plans to, okay?

And if the way Luke is like :DDDD at seeing him again means Din intentionally wanders that direction it’s no one’s business but his own, okay?

But also the thing where Din goes to see Boba one day as normal human person and there’s Luke staring Boba down and Din is like !!! and ??? 

Because rather than kicking Luke out of his place Boba is amused by the whole thing and it turns out he knows Luke from way back. And while the two of them aren’t going to be BFFs they are friends of a sort and anyway, Luke has some kind of problem and Boba catches Din’s eye and is like “I know just the man to help you out, Skywalker.”

Adventures in which Din is thrown together with Luke because reasons and Flirting happens.

Some baddies get the jump on them and Din lugs an injured Luke back to Luke’s apartment to get him patched up and gets all shifty-eyed when Luke asks how Din knew where he lived???

“Boba,” Din blurts, lets Luke assume Boba gave him intel on Luke or whatever after sticking the two of them together, and anyway.

Din tenderly patching Luke up and quiet confessions from Luke about not knowing what he’s even doing with his life at this point - mired in Danger and Adventure and almost, almost missing the days when he was a nobody from a backwater town.

“But then I never would have met Leia or Han and the others,” he says, this odd little smile on his face, “so, you know.”

Din does, because he got Grogu in the end, and more besides in Cara and Grief and Boba and the rest.

More shenanigans in which Luke finds out Din’s a werecat - “Huh,” and “This makes no sense, but nothing in my life does anyway,” and also “Oh,” because of course he recognizes Din’s werecat form, which.

A little embarrassing for Din afterwards when he and Luke are totally Flirting and heading towards a ~relationship and Luke gives him endless grief for Din visiting him as a cat, and anyway, yes.

Also, also, Luke giving Din the best scritches when he’s a cat, and Luke telling people he has a part-time cat - “What doe that even mean, Luke?” - to explain the fur on his clothes and other such shenanigans???

Plus cuddling, and Din whacking Luke in the face with his tail when Luke teases him or whatever and just, yes.

[nicknellie]

Anonymous requested: Julie and the Phantoms are on tour and Juke are dating, one stop on tour Luke gets sick  (woke up with fever, swollen glands, sore throat etc) and the doctor diagnoses him with strep and an ear infection and Julie takes care his stubborn butt back to the hotel because he doesn't like to let down the fans since they have to cancel few shows.

Anonymous requested: alive guys, out of school in the real world, now all living in an apartment together. The 5 Times Luke Was Sick, and The 5 Times Julie Cured Him and maybe add in the 1 time Luke returns the favour of taking care of Julie.

Anonymous requested: Luke and Julie are married and have a daughter (Rose, 3). Rose and Luke end up waking up sick with the flu and Julie takes care of them, and she gets worn down from doing everything and caring for them. And even with him being sick in bed he lays with Rose when Julie’s beat and cuddles her when she feels sick even though he feels the same. Cute family fluff basically.

We Will Fight To Shine Together

The entire week had been hectic. Julie – along with her boys, Luke, Alex, and Reggie – had finally got the keys to their new apartment and had spent the whole of the previous two days hauling their belongings there from their respective homes. Ray Molina, protective as always, had been breathing down their necks in a frantic and worried attempt to help them out, the presence of Willie and Flynn had resulted in less unpacking and more Cardboard Box Wars, and most of their things were strewn about in unlikely places after the chaos of unpacking; just that morning Julie had found Alex’s drumsticks in the fridge.

But they were finally there, they were finally home, and there was nothing to worry about. Everything in the apartment seemed to be in order, they weren’t set to go on tour for another six months so the stress of that was still a way off, and the band’s new-found sense of freedom and independence hung over them like a rainbow. There was nothing that could have gone wrong. Nothing except–

“Dude, you look sick! And not in the good way.”

Julie had been sat atop the kitchen counter, watching Alex prepare their breakfast, but she looked towards the door when she heard Reggie’s exclamation. Stood in the doorway, bundled in about four hoodies, his eyes bloodshot and his nose running, was Luke. Reggie was right – he looked as if he were about to keel over and die. His puppy dog eyes were wide and watery and he looked utterly dreadful.

“Luke,” Julie said, hopping off the counter and heading over to him. “Are you feeling alright?”

He shook his head and sniffled pathetically. “I’m sick,” he grumbled.

“Yeah, you look it,” Julie said. She took his hand and gently led him towards a kitchen chair. He collapsed into it with a relieved sigh as if he couldn’t have bared standing any longer.

To Julie’s surprise (and slight annoyance) Alex and Reggie were laughing.

“You must have the weakest immune system known to man,” Alex joked as he put the group’s breakfast onto plates.

“On the bright side, Willie owes me ten dollars,” Reggie said with a beam. “I bet him you wouldn’t last two weeks before getting sick.”

Julie put her hands on her hips and glared at the two boys who immediately ceased their laughter. She knew she could be quite terrifying when she wanted to and she didn’t like abusing that power too much, but this was a situation she felt called for it.

“You two are seriously lacking compassion,” she scolded, pointing to and from Alex and Reggie. “Your friend is ill and all you can do is laugh at him. It’s mean – he has it difficult enough right now.”

Luke, pouting pathetically, nodded in agreement.

Alex and Reggie, both looking suitably chastised, muttered, “Sorry Julie.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Don’t apologise to me.”

“Sorry Luke.”

“That’s better,” she said. Julie took herself out of Mother Mode and returned to Supportive Girlfriend. She gently ran her fingers through Luke’s hair – he relaxed a little as her touch. “I’m going to take you back to bed, you’re going to get some rest while I look up your symptoms, and then I’m going to take care of you.”

Luke’s eyes widened. “It’s probably just a cold. You don’t have to do that.”

“I don’t, but I’m going to. Come on.”

Julie sent one more cutting glare to Reggie and Alex before helping Luke stand and leading him back through their little apartment to their shared bedroom. She eased him back into the bed, helped him make a half-nest-half-fort with the pillows and duvet, then grabbed her laptop and set up YouTube for him. Then, she pulled up a tab on her phone and sat beside him on the bed.

“Do you feel like you’re going to be sick?” she asked.

Luke shook his head.

“Are you feeling dizzy at all?”

“A little bit,” he croaked.

She smiled knowingly. “Sore throat too?”

He closed his eyes and nodded.

Julie asked him more questions, then determined that because of the stress of moving his immune system had utterly crashed and some nasty bug had seized the opportunity. According to the internet, he needed plenty of bed rest, he should have been kept warm, he needed a lot of water, and most of all he simply needed to not do anything for a while.

“But we’re supposed to go to the studio tomorrow to record a bunch of songs,” Luke protested when Julie told him. He sat up abruptly, but eased himself back down, a hand rested against his forehead, wincing.

“You’re not going anywhere like that,” Julie told him. “I’ll call the studio and let them know we’ll have to record your parts a different time. Don’t say anything,” she commanded as he opened his mouth to argue again. “I’m not changing my mind.”

He grumbled something she couldn’t quite hear but assumed was something childishly rude – it had certainly sounded as if he’d been mocking her voice. She ignored him and instead headed back out to the kitchen. Julie grabbed painkillers and a large glass of water and took them back to Luke who had started a long YouTube playlist of Bondi Rescue videos.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be sitting in front of a screen if you’re dizzy,” Julie contemplated, handing him the tablets and the drink. Luke looked up at her with a mixture of sadness and fury in his eyes.

“I’ve already lost my health, I can’t lose Bondi Rescue too,” he said.

She breathed a laugh and sat back down beside him. He immediately melted into her side, his head rested against her abdomen. She stroked her fingers through his hair and felt him sigh at the touch.

He was asleep within minutes.

*

Julie and the Phantoms were on tour. It was a moment they had all been anticipating ever since they’d inducted Julie into the band. The four of them had saved up enough money to buy their own tour bus emblazoned with their faces and the band’s logo and were spending nine months driving across the United States and Canada to perform their show to sold-out crowds. Julie could hardly believe it was happening.

Right that moment, part of her wished it weren’t happening.

Julie had been led to understand that before she joined the band and became the responsible one, Alex was the ‘parental figure��� who had kept Luke and Reggie (both far more boisterous by nature) in check. If anyone had told her that on the second leg of their tour, she would not have believed it for a moment. Alex was sat in the passenger seat beside her, but was leaning over the back of it to swat at Reggie who was kicking the back of his seat. Both were calling each other childish names and their hands were flapping about like they were having a catfight. Julie had given up trying to stop them about two hundred miles ago.

Looking after them sometimes felt like having a pair of toddlers. Though more often it was like having three toddlers because Luke would find a way to join in on the shenanigans. But right then, in the backseat beside Reggie, he was oddly quiet.

“Luke,” Julie called over Alex and Reggie’s squabbling, readjusting the mirror so she could see Luke behind her. “You okay?”

Luke nodded then tried to clear his throat. “Yeah,” he said, voice gravelly. “Sore throat, that’s all.”

Julie frowned. “Are you sure? You don’t sound good. Will you be able to sing for tomorrow’s show?”

His eyes widened frantically at the mention of the performance. “Of course! I’ll be fine, it’s just a sore throat.”

It was, unfortunately, very clearly not just a sore throat.

Julie pulled the tour bus into the parking lot of their hotel and the gang all headed to their rooms. Julie and Luke were sharing, partially to save money and partially because they wanted to. Before they went to sleep, Julie checked again with Luke to see if he was alright and again he told her in that rough voice that he was fine.

However, when they woke up Luke seemed distinctly worse for wear. He was radiating heat like the sun but shivering as if he were in the arctic, he was complaining of pain in his right ear, and when Julie looked down his throat she saw that his tonsils were swollen and covered in white spots.

“You’re not going on stage like this,” she said, shaking her head. “No way. I’m calling a doctor.”

“I don’t need a doctor,” Luke insisted, attempting to hoist himself into a sitting position but giving up quickly. “It’s just a sore throat.”

“You can try telling me that again when you can swallow more than a drop of water,” Julie said before picking up her phone and calling the nearest doctor.

Luckily, the doctor was able to come out to the hotel so Luke didn’t have to even get out of bed. The doctor took one look at his symptoms, then turned to Julie.

“Looks like strep throat,” they said, snapping their latex gloves off. “The pain in the ear is because of an ear infection that came after the bacteria travelled from the throat to the middle ear. I’m going to prescribe him a course of antibiotics, he’ll need to take them all otherwise the infection will come back stronger. I recommend he doesn’t perform for at least another month to give the infection ample time to heal.”

“A month?” Luke tried to yell, but it came out as an outraged breathy whisper.

“Yes,” the doctor said, looking down at him over their glasses. “Your infection is particularly severe, Mr Patterson, and if you want to finish your tour then I suggest you take my advice.”

“We can’t cancel shows,” Luke protested weakly. “Think of how excited everyone’s been…”

Julie smiled to the doctor and saw them out of the room. “Thank you very much,” she said. “I’ll make sure he gets those antibiotics and plenty of rest.”

Once the doctor was gone, Julie called Flynn, the official manager for Julie and the Phantoms and Julie’s lifelong best friend. “Cancel every show for the next month,” she instructed. “Doctor’s orders.”

“Are you alright, Jules?” Flynn said, immediately sounding concerned. “I can come over and take care of you, whatever you need, I’ll book a flight right now–”

“I’m fine, Flynn,” Julie assured her. “It’s Luke. He’s got strep.”

“Oh no.” Flynn’s worry morphed into something akin to disappointment. “He’s literally the worst one of you guys to get ill right now.”

“Tell me about it. He’s furious that we’ve even suggested cancelling the shows.”

“He gets it’s for his own good, right?” Flynn asked.

Julie shook her head even though Flynn couldn’t see her. “He knows that but he doesn’t want to let everyone down. He’s been more excited for the tour than the fans have – he doesn’t want any of it to go wrong and this is about as wrong as it could go.”

“I’m sure he’ll get over it once the ‘get well soon’ messages start arriving,” Flynn said.

“I think that’ll just make it worse,” Julie countered. “Anyway, it’s fine. There’s nothing we can do. Just make sure everyone knows the next shows are cancelled.”

“You got it, boss. Good luck with Luke.”

“I’ll need it.”

Julie hung up on Flynn and headed back towards Luke. He was still sat up in the bed, looking very sorry for himself as he pouted with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Hey,” she said softly, crouching down next to his side of the bed. “I’m going to make you some hot honey and lemon water – my mom always made it for me when I got a sore throat. It’ll help, I promise. Is there anything else you want?”

“I want to do the shows,” he said petulantly.

Julie shook her head firmly. “You heard the doctor – none of us are going on any stage for another month. Flynn’s cancelling the shows as we speak.”

Luke looked aghast. “No!”

“Yes. You’re sick, Luke. And think about it; if this were me or Alex or Reggie in your position, what would you say to do?”

“I’d say we should cancel the shows until you got better,” he said as if the answer were obvious, then he seemed to hear his own words and deflated a little. “Fine. I suppose this is for the best. I… I just feel like I’m letting everyone down.”

Julie intertwined their fingers and held his hand tightly. She gave him a soft, reassuring smile. “You aren’t letting anybody down, Luke. It’s not your fault that you’re sick and there’s nothing any of us can do about it now. All that can be done is for you to rest and take your meds so that the next shows we do are as good as they can be. Okay?”

He rolled his eyes sighed, but there was the tiniest smile playing about his lips. “Okay.”

*

Julie had said it was a bad idea from the very beginning, but the boys had insisted that they’d done it before and it was perfectly safe.

It felt good to be proven right, but less good to be vomited on.

The first problem was that there was definitely not enough room anywhere in their tiny apartment for three grown men to attempt the famous lift from Dirty Dancing. Julie had pointed that out. She had pointed it out almost a dozen times. Every time, Reggie had told her that they didn’t actually need a lot of space, trust me.

The second problem was that their heights simply didn’t add up to a safe lift. Luke and Reggie were of a similar build, but Alex was much taller and there wasn’t really anywhere for him to go – if he held up one of the guys, they’d be held at an angle; if he were the one on top, he would likely crush the other two.

The third and final problem was that none of the boys were dancers and had no training or experience, therefore none of them knew how to do the lift properly and safely. Julie had stretched this argument to its breaking point but the three idiots had not heeded her warning.

And so they had done the lift.

It had started out strong. They had decided that Alex would be the one in the air, so Luke and Reggie had got into position with their hands outstretched and Alex had taken a great running start and leapt at them. To their credit, the boys held Alex in the air for a solid three seconds before Reggie lost his balance and Luke’s grip slipped, and the three of them went tumbling to the ground.

Julie watched in unsurprised horror as Alex fell flat on top of Reggie and scrambled to get off him, while Luke dropped far too close to the dining table and whacked his head on its corner with a grotesque thud.

He was out cold.

Julie muttered a curse and hurried towards him. Alex and Reggie gathered around slowly too, warily looking down at Luke, clearly feeling guilty.

“Luke?” Julie said to the unconscious lump in her lap. He was heavier than he looked – she privately understood why they had decided to lift Alex instead. “Can you hear me, sweetie?”

After a few more minutes, Luke came to, groaning and cradling his head.

“Hey,” Alex said, smiling brightly. “You’re awake! Sorry about that, we–”

Alex didn’t get to finish his sentence because Luke interrupted him by loudly and violently throwing up on Alex’s shoes. A little bit hit Julie’s dress and she quickly yanked the fabric out of the way.

Alex looked at his shoes disappointedly. After a long while he said, “I am going to the bathroom. Either to shower or be sick, I’m not sure yet,” and then disappeared.

Reggie was a deathly shade of green, staring at Luke and the vomit.

“If you don’t like it you can go, Reggie,” Julie said. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

Reggie nodded and followed Alex out of the room, wide-eyed.

“Let’s get you to bed, huh?” Julie said. Luke nodded vaguely, his eyes far away, and she led him through the apartment to their bedroom. She only just managed to get him into bed before he started slipping into unconsciousness again.

It was plain as day that Luke had a nasty concussion. Julie tucked him into bed, then switched off the lights and drew the curtains so that it was almost pitch black. She got him an enormous glass of water and readied all the painkillers she could find, as well as grabbing a large bowl so that he didn’t have to run to the bathroom if he needed to be sick again. Then she looked up concussion on her phone – it said that if he’d woken up after being knocked out then he needed to go to hospital; she wasn’t sure how she was meant to get him there now that he was unconscious again.

Julie decided to wait until he woke up again. She laid down beside him on the bed and pressed the gentlest of kisses to his forehead.

“You’re such an idiot,” she whispered. “I love you.”

*

Julie loved her boys usually, but sometimes she really believed they lacked the common sense necessary for general survival.

“You did what?!”

Luke, Alex, and Reggie looked between each other frantically, stuttering for excuses.

“Uuuuhhhh…”

“Nothing really out of the ordinary, I don’t think.”

“Pretty sure it was actually you who did something they shouldn’t have.”

Julie raised her hands and the boys silenced. She glared at them, half furious and half exasperated.

“Are you seriously telling me – or rather not telling me – that after all the times I specifically told you it would be a bad idea, you went and got hotdogs that were being sold out of the back of an Oldsmobile?”

“In our defence,” Reggie piped up, raising his hand like a kid answering a question in class, “they smelled really good.”

“Wish they’d tasted as good as they smelled,” Luke grumbled. Alex hit him.

“I have never met anyone with less common sense!” Julie yelled, waving her arms. “What is wrong with you? What made you think it’d be a good idea? How did you not think that it was the dodgiest set up for any fast food ever?”

“Relax,” Reggie said, “street dogs haven’t killed us yet.”

The highly questionable hotdogs did not, in fact, kill them. However, the next day all three boys were overcome with food poisoning so horrible that Julie simply could not take care of them all by herself.

That morning she sent a quick text to Willie to offload Alex to him: Come and get your dumb boyfriend, he and his idiot friends ate bad hotdogs and got sick, you can take one. Twenty minutes later, Willie showed up to take Alex back to his apartment, an ungodly amount of blankets in his hands when he arrived at the apartment.

Reggie was the least ill – he could pretty much take care of himself and at the very least he wasn’t throwing up everywhere. He stayed on the couch, watching some cartoon on repeat. Julie let him be.

Luke, on the other hand, was quite the task. He was feeling and looking absolutely dreadful, unable to move himself from his bed and being sick whenever he tried to do so much as drink a glass of water. Julie truly had her hands full trying to take care of him.

Despite his protests, she called the studio and cancelled their appointment with Luke today. He was in no fit state to record any hit songs right then; he could hardly even open his mouth without sick coming out of it.

Feeling particularly frazzled, Julie finally allowed herself a little break from rushing around after Luke to relax, just for a moment. She settled herself comfortably onto the bed beside Luke once his sickness had calmed down a bit and fired up Netflix. She could feel his doleful eyes on her as she selected a movie and let it play.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked.

“Are you apologising for being sick or for eating those hotdogs even though I told you not to?” she questioned.

Luke had the good grace to look a little ashamed. “Both.”

Julie shifted a little to wrap her arms around Luke’s midriff. “Don’t apologise for being sick. It is your fault, but don’t say sorry for it. I will accept your apology for disobeying me though.”

Luke rested his head against Julie’s shoulders, shuffling further into the covers. “We should have listened to you, I know. But if you could have just smelled those hotdogs…”

“Yeah, I’m sure they smelled great mingling with the stench of petrol,” Julie deadpanned. “I’m starting to think you three need constant adult supervision.”

“We are adults.”

“That’s why I’m so worried.”

Luke huffed a laugh, but then frowned. “I feel bad. You’re always the one taking care of me. Just once I want to take care of you.”

Julie raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you want me to get sick?”

“No, no, I didn’t mean that,” he said hurriedly, even though Julie had been joking. “I just meant that you do such a good job with this every time. I want to give you a break.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Julie assured him. “But… if I ever do get sick, I’ll make sure to come straight to you and you can take care of me. Deal?”

“Deal,” Luke said with a soft smile.

*

It had been many years since Luke had been really sick. Julie had naively thought that maybe they’d get lucky and he’d never be sick again. Maybe his laughable immune system had finally caught up and had strengthened itself against what most people could avoid easily.

Wishful thinking.

Flu season was set to ruin Julie’s life. She had woken up one Monday morning and followed her usual routine, heading to her daughter’s bedroom to wake her up for preschool. She had shaken little Rose awake, but the three-year-old had been extremely hot.

“Oh, sweetie,” Julie had said gently. “Are you feeling sick?”

Rose, rubbing her teary tired eyes, had nodded and cried very quietly.

Julie had pulled her into a hug. “Okay, honey. You go back to sleep. It’s alright.”

She laid Rose back down, tucked her back in, and encouraged her to sleep. It took a long time and a lot of tears from Rose, but eventually the little girl drifted back into a fitful slumber. Feeling like all she wanted to do was go to sleep herself, Julie headed back to her own bedroom and shook Luke awake.

“Luke,” she whispered. “Rose is sick. I’m going to call the preschool and tell them she won’t be in, but then I’ve got to get to the studio. You think you can take care of her today?”

Luke sleepily opened his eyes and groaned as he shifted into a sitting position. He held a hand to his head – it looked far too similar to him steadying his balance for Julie’s liking.

She sighed. “Please don’t tell me you’re sick as well?”

Luke tried for a smile. “No, no, I’m alright. I’ll take care of Rose, don’t worry.”

He tried to swing himself out of bed, but Julie didn’t miss the way that the sudden movement made him wince. That and the fact that he clapped a hand to his mouth, the other held over his stomach. Unsteadily, he got to his feet and headed to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came back to the bedroom looking sheepish.

“I’m sick too,” he said quietly.

Julie sighed haggardly and looked to the alarm clock on her bedside table. She needed to be at the studio to start her recording session in half an hour, but no part of her was willing to leave her husband and daughter alone while both of them were seeming awfully ill. She quickly made her decision.

“You get back to bed,” she said gently to Luke, taking his hand and leading him back to the bed.

“No, I need to get Rose,” he said, but he grudgingly followed her.

“I’m going to get Rose,” Julie told him as she sat him down and tucked him in. “I’ll bring her here and you can stay snuggled up together. I’ll call the preschool, run some errands, and I’ll check on you both later, okay?”

Luke nodded and lifted Julie’s hand to his lips as if to kiss it, then seemed to think better of it and dropped it. “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Julie went back to Rose’s room. The little girl was fast asleep, wriggling around a little as she dreamt, her black curls that were the same as her mother’s spread out over her pillow. Gently, Julie picked her up and held her tightly to her chest, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head as she carried her to her own bedroom.

Luke smiled as Julie entered the room with Rose cradled in her arms. He lifted up the duvet so that Julie could lay Rose down beside him. As she put Rose down, the little girl woke up. She looked around, seeming surprised to have been moved. Then she began to cry very, very quietly.

“Dada,” she wailed, tiny fists clutching at Luke’s pyjama top. “Mama!”

Julie was exhausted. She could see a long day ahead of her, looking after both of the most important people in her life as they battled this disgusting illness. But as she looked at them – tearful little Rose snuggled up with Luke, who had his arms around her tightly, stroking her back soothingly as he whispered shushes – she felt a little bit of that exhaustion melt away, replaced with love.

She perched herself on the bed. “Rosie,” she whispered, tucking one of Rose’s stray hairs behind her ear. “If you quiet down, Mama will sing you a lullaby.”

Luke’s eyes widened. Behind the bloodshot sickness, Julie could see the love and admiration he had for her in them. She beamed at him, and he smiled back as if in awe of her. She felt her heart swell with love.

Rose hushed a little and Julie began the lullaby that her own mother had sung to her when she was little. It was a traditional little rhyme, simple and easy, but the beautiful melismatic notes strung together like bunting made the rising melodies sound ethereally pretty. It had always been one of Julie’s favourite songs.

Rose fell back asleep, huddled in Luke’s arms. Luke reached his hand out of took Julie’s hand.

“You’re perfect,” he mouthed, trying not to wake Rose.

Julie smiled, gently kissed his hand, and finally got up to phone the preschool.

*

Julie never got sick. It wasn’t in her nature. It just didn’t happen.

Except for that one time.

Julie woke up with the highest temperature the thermometer had ever recorded, her head was spinning like she was on a rollercoaster, and her muscles felt so fatigued that she couldn’t get out of bed.

And yet, she said to Luke, “I swear I’m fine.”

Luke, in a rare moment of knowledge and common sense, didn’t take her word for it. He seemed almost excited for her sickness – Julie wasn’t sure how to feel about that – and he pulled her into a tight hug.

“No,” he said firmly, “you’re sick. I’m going to take care of you.”

And he did. The very next thing Luke did was make Julie up a hot water bottle and bring it to her to help combat her chills, then he brought her three boxes of paracetamol and an entire pitcher of water. He called the doctor’s office for advice, then dragged the entire television set up to his and Julie’s room from downstairs. He got Rose ready for school and before he left the house he assured Julie that he would be back soon and she didn’t need to worry and, “If you need anything, just call me and I’ll come straight back.”

Julie couldn’t help but smile despite her tiredness and awful feeling. “I’ll be fine, Luke. Get Rose to school before she’s late.”

“I love you,” Luke said.

Rose, stood at the end of Julie’s bed, said, “Love you, Mama!”

“I love you, Rosie. Have a good day.”

Julie watched the love of her life and her perfect daughter leave the room and listened to their footsteps heading downstairs. Maybe she felt absolutely terrible and perhaps like she was going to be sick, but when she had someone like Luke looking after her it didn’t feel quite so dreadful.

[peeterparkr]

perfidy;tom holland|16

chapter 16: the closeup

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits

chapter summary: tom and y/n get close

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings:  fluffy, smut (skip the *), angst, New York

word count: 8.2k

here’s a playlist

and here’s another one

and here’s another one inspired by 1D

social media before you read (IMPORTANT FOR THE CHAPTER) :

tweets, instagram and texts: y/n and Tom are absent in social media

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

Hi! 

It hurts to think that two people love each other and yet they never knew. That was the thought invading your head. They say unrequited love hurts, and it does, you had lived your whole life believing your love was one sided, and boy, had it hurt. You couldn’t deny every sleepless night, every heartbeat skipping, and you’d never deny every tear you had shedded. But realizing it had always been reciprocated and never knowing about it, because life liked to be a bitch… well, that’s just stupid. It sounded so cliche, though. The guy had always been in love with her. 

You first love ever, which, by the way he knew,  loved you back. But did he? You had trouble deciding it. But somehow, you believed it. Not sure if you believed it because of the situation or because you wanted to believe it. Still. 

It hurt. Because had all those tears been for nothing? Or maybe they meant more now. It was so… not what you had expected.

Maybe it had been what you had always wanted but never expected. A secret wish. 

But now that you had it, you didn’t want it. 

Did it make sense? No. Not at all. 

Except it did, in a way, or that’s what you were trying to figure out as you felt an unequivocal heartbreak. But why did this hurt? 

Because even if he loved you, even if he had loved you, there had been a stronger force pulling him away from you. 

A force that you knew looked very much like Tom and went by the name of Harry. 

You didn’t want to blame it on Harry. And maybe that’s why you’d shut Tom off when he’d tried to explain, because you had felt it coming, the unexplainable fear of him saying: I was just protecting my brother.

And you had been protecting Harry, too. 

Because it hurt, too. But you didn’t want to think about that. Not now. You didn’t want to think of the very complicated feelings you had once had towards Harry, which were very much alike to the feelings you’d once had towards Timothee. Knowing that it would’ve the best. But the heart wants what it wants. And your heart wanted that entitled moron that had been an arrogant idiot throughout his whole life but now, apparently had always had feelings for you. 

You really had to think about Tom right now. 

Your mind was helping with that, it had decided to hurt you in ways that you hadn’t been hurt before, your mind was roaming back to moments that proved he hadn’t loved you. Why were you trying to convince yourself of that? Why did your mind have to go back to your childhood when he’d push you off the swings, or to other moments, like him pushing you in the hallway, or him making fun of your braids, or your shoes or whatever he came up with that day. 

Which had you already questioning yourself, why did you fall in love with such a dickhead? This was to blame on you. But oh, who wouldn't fall in love with him? The whole world was at his feet, it made sense you were in love with him. 

Well, it made sense now, but back then? The scrawny annoying kid who never shut up. God, with that smile and the way he looked at you. 

Why were you trying to shut down your feelings now that you knew that he possibly loved you back? He had said it, right? He’d always been in love with you. 

Why were you trying to deny it? 

Or maybe you were trying to deny your own feelings. 

You had both fallen quiet after you had stopped dancing, your hands hesitated when he had offered you his hand, he then offered his arm instead. You took it, and you didn’t want to let go. Not now. Not never. 

And then your mind was reminding you of how all of this hard started. Revenge. 

But was it, really? Revenge? It seemed now like a faint memory, now the script was barely following your path, and you knew it had turned into something beautiful. You’d like the back and forth you were doing, it did have some potential. Starting with a significant event, based on your pain, on the damned yellow flowers. Which of course, you’d changed to a bouquet of lavenders. And then going backwards to what lead to it, building it down to the so childhood enemies you were, and the second timeline which was built to where you were standing now. 

It was good. An 80’s based love story, coming of age type of series. Changing a little bit the story so they’d be teenagers and have them roll around with shenanigans. 

The story of William, Tom. 

And Valerie, you. 

Two teenagers who hated each other. 

You walked with him, and it felt different. Somehow the people who had danced on the street were strangers to you. Because you saw Tom and you saw yourself and you didn’t feel like the children you once had been. Sure, there was a faint reminder of that scrawny guy you’d known your whole life with his silly comments and his overflowing energy. But… it wasn’t the same. To think that the—monster you had grown to know had never been one? Or he had, but only as a facade. 

However, it could be an act… but you were sure it wasn’t. Not from him. 

And not from you, either. Even if sometimes it felt like one. 

But now you saw his eyes, begging for forgiveness, tender and light. Eyes pleading you to say those words back. 

He was in love with you. And it… hurt. Why must it hurt? 

You stopped him before you got close to the hotel, the city felt like it was only for you. The lights were only a blurred memory now, you barely saw any stars. But it was still amazing, nothing mattered. The buzzing streets fell quiet, and the only light that mattered was that streetlight where you were standing by. He looked sad, too. 

It was bizarre. But you gave him a quick kiss, that told him it was alright. It would be, eventually. You liked to believe that. And seeing him there with those sympathetic eyes, and that gentle and tender smile, drove you completely insane.

But damn, you couldn’t put a price to the emotions you were feeling, it felt unethical and wrong. And quite confusing, actually. But the script was the least that mattered to you as you were trying to sketch the path your own heart was following. 

You knew it would still be different, throughout all of this.  

“Do we have a verdict?” He asked as you walked into the hotel. 

“I’m still deciding it,” you admitted. “What am I even deciding, again?”

“I dunno, you’ve been quiet and I only assumed you were trying to decide something.” 

You took his hand and locked your fingers. “Guess I am.” 

“What are you deciding? If I may ask?” 

“I’m having trouble believing it,” you confessed. “I—I am having trouble believing you were in love with me.” 

“Not past tense,” he cleared his throat. “I am in love with you.” 

“But why? What’s wrong with you?” You chuckled.

He nudged you. “A lot of things, but I am…”he stopped and then stared at you. “I am deeply, stupidly and annoyingly in love with you, y/n.”

You wanted to say it back right then. Even if being in love and loving wasn’t the same, you wanted him to know. You smiled. “Well, it’s difficult to believe it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you are… you and I am me,” you explained. “You are Tom, and I’m just stinky and stupid y/n.” 

“You’re not as stinky,” he joked. 

“Dickhead,” she nudged him. 

He looked at you, “I thought you’d be deciding something else.” 

“Like what?” You frowned. 

He coughed, and ran a hand through his face. 

“Tom?” 

“Not sure,” he admitted but you were sure he lied. He probably was waiting for you to say it back. 

Technically you had hinted it, hadn’t you? The whole: you had been on my mind all the time. But… God, you didn’t want to say it out loud. Saying it out loud meant making it real. Your heart was beating so fast. So, so fast. But then again, your sane reasoning was reminding of the constant aggravation. 

But god that was stupid. 

You wanted to get in the elevator already, kiss him without any confrontation, because even if you were the only ones in the world right now, the crowds were still there, and they couldn’t know. You had to be alone, and you had to wrap your arms around him. You just needed another kiss for confirmation. And maybe some more just to make sure.

The elevator had been a safe space for both of you, since you’d arrived, every time you’d gotten into you’d share a kiss there. A new one each day. Never a same kiss twice. Tom had taught you that there were more than a million ways to kiss and that he’d be willing to explore a new one each passing moment.

But of course, life was a bitch and just as you thought you’d be alone in the elevator, an old couple walked in as well. 

You frowned but hugged Tom, at first you saw him hesitate but he hugged you back. He placed a soft kiss on top of your head, as you nuzzled into him. You felt safe, which you hadn’t been. Your mind started to shut up, and you were enjoying the moment, feeling him, as you could smell the remaining cologne from his neck, and you felt his fingers pressing against your back. 

The elevator door opened as the couple wished you goodnight and as soon as it had closed you smashed your lips to his, taking him by surprise. 

But his hands immediately went to your waist, as he tried to pull you closer to him. The kiss was… breathtaking, but not as the usual kisses you’ve had on this elevator, hot and full of passion, wanting to undress the other already. No. 

This kiss was soft, like a thousand butterflies. He was kissing your soul, it felt like an end of the summer breeze. Yet it felt… sad. As if he was apologizing, in a way. 

And maybe it was the look in his eyes, or the way he had warmed you with his embrace, or the fact that you felt like your heart was so close to his that you finally knew it, or… you finally accepted it. You loved him. That was undeniable. As stupid as that feeling may be, and as much as it hurt. 

The kiss lasted so long you were sharing each other’s breaths by the time the door opened again. And it felt soothing and inviting and thrilling and bright. 

He pulled away, and you gulped, as you slowly walked out. He chuckled nervously as he led the way. He kissed your cheek before opening the door. 

He seemed nervous, and you were, too, probably. You felt like your heart was about to pop off your chest. He cleared his throat before heading to the bed. 

You both were too quiet. But you both followed the routine, the teeth brushing, make-up wiping. Quietly this time. 

You saw him head to the bed, he checked his notifications but didn’t open them. You had noticed that about you both, you rarely picked up your phone when you were together. 

He took a deep breath and then stared at the city from the window, sitting on the edge of the bed. You wish this was the script, at least there you could control every tiny situation, but this? How could you control any of this. You could write a million pages and it would never be enough to explain how you felt towards him. 

“Tom?” You called him anyway. As you walked over to him. 

“Yeah?” He smiled at you. 

“I have a verdict,” you said. But did you really? 

He took your hand, nervously. “Yeah?” 

“I… Me too.” 

That was the most stupid sentence that you could say and it didn’t come remotely close to everything you wanted to tell him. 

He furrowed his brows with confusion. “What?” 

“I—“you cleared your throat, the words didn’t want to come out. Not out loud. “I… what you’ve said before.” 

“I said a lot of things, y/n,” he reminded you as you sat beside him, he gave his attention back to the city. 

You kept watching him, tracing his side profile slowly, you feared saying it because if you said it, there was no going back for once. 

He pursed his lips, and then squeezed your hand. 

“You asked me why I said no to Tim,” you started. 

He frowned and then turned to you. 

“I thought we were done—“

“The real reason why I said no, was because I’ve also—“you stopped yourself. You had to say it. But it felt weird, the words didn’t want to come out, he only stared at you,“I’ve also been in love with you my whole life, and I still am even more deeply than ever.” 

You had said it. In a way. Because he knew this, you knew he was well aware of this. 

You’ve said it before. How he had been your first love, not the only one. But there was always something you had believed in: nothing is as truthful as the first love because it’s the most spontaneous one, you never plan it, or just...arrives. Over the years you learn, and you find love and we learn how to trick ourselves into believing it’s love, and we let ourselves fall into the routines and lies the world tells us about it, about how it should feel, but not with the first one. Because the first love is so magical, so real and authentic. You don’t plan it. 

And maybe that’s why it’s so easy to fall back in love with one’s first love. Because it feels real. Even if it isn’t. 

And you knew that when he was gone, you were still thinking about him, that you still got dressed up and then ended up crying on your couch again. 

Because you knew it, Timmy was...perfect. But Tom wasn’t, he truly wasn’t and yet… 

Tom watched you, as if now it was him who was trying to convince himself he believed you. You saw a hint of blush forming on his cheeks, and his eyes crinkle just slightly. 

“And—“now you couldn't stop yourself. “It hurts to think I’ve spent my whole life loving you, and that the feelings might have been reciprocated without us truly knowing, and it hurts to think we spent our whole lives pulling that kind of crap when I should’ve spent all my life kissing that dumb face of yours, because… I love you. And—Maybe, maybe that’s why we didn’t take it slow, you know?” The damned word slipped again, and again and again, as if once you’d said it it had to come out for every time you’d stayed quiet and kept it to yourself. You cursed to yourself mentally. He remained quiet. And you only wanted the world to suck you in and spit you elsewhere far away from him. Maybe this was after Rome all over again, maybe he’d said the words that you dreaded, he’d say that he didn’t love you back. That this was all an act, that you’d be in agony again. 

But you continued, because you are stupid. “Because—Why would I take it slow with someone whom I already know, flaws and all, and why would I take it slow with someone I love? Why the fuck should I waste more time if I love you? Why the fuck should I stop myself from feeling when I know you’re far from perfect but I still love you as you are—And why the fuck haven’t you shut me up with a damn kiss, idiot?” You demanded and he finally smiled. 

He chuckled before leaning over to kiss you, pushing you to the bed, laying down right beside you, with his hand on your waist. The kiss felt golden, if you could ever give color to a kiss, that would be it, golden, so bright and tempting. 

“I love you,” he admitted, as he stared at your eyes and then at your lips, he leaned down to place another soft kiss. 

Hearing it, was way too different from all the times you’ve said it before.You’d said the words before  but with different meanings. Purely as a sentiment obligated by the nature of your families’ relationship. Or maybe as a hidden—very hidden friendship. But not like this. Not this heart stopping “I love you.” Not this blushing and looking into each other’s eyes crap. 

Not this, that once it had come out of your mouth, it had been so easy to say. 

“And I didn’t shut you up because.. I just wanted to hear it from you—I technically said it first,” Tom said. 

You immediately frowned. “What?” You questioned. “No, you said you were in love with me, not that you loved me,” you stated.  

“Are you getting technical now, y/n?” He teased. The moment was ruined. 

“Yes.”

He chuckled. “Well it doesn’t count—I told you how I felt first,” he said. 

“No, I did-”

“I said I had been in love,” he said. “Falling in love and saying I love you is the same—” 

“No it’s not,” you frowned. 

“In this case, it is,” he laughed as he kissed your neck. And you knew what he meant. You already knew he loved you—just not in this way. 

“No,” you snapped. 

He chuckled. “You just want to take pride on believing that you said it first.” 

You smirked. “Yes, of course.” 

He brushed his lips against yours, butterflies invading your soul. “But you didn’t, I said it first, idiot” he sentenced. 

“You did not, frogface!” You pushed him, and then sat right on top of his lap, he laughed, laying down. 

“I did!” He grinned, before pulling the pillow from behind his head to playfully hit you. 

“You did not! And Oi!” You complained before taking the other pillow to hit him right on his face. 

The pillow fight continued, along with the whole: ‘It was me’ ‘No,me!’ bickering, until Tom pulled you back to kiss you yet again. 

“Are we actually fighting over who said I love you first?” He asked you. 

“Yes,” you grinned, as you played with his hair. 

“I can’t believe you, y/n,” he laughed. 

“I’ve been holding it back my whole life, I have the right to,” you complained, as you cupped his face delicately to pepper him with soft kisses. 

He closed his eyes as his hand travelled throughout your whole back. “You think I haven’t been trying to tell you my whole life?” 

“Hm,” you only looked up slightly, but kissed your way over to his collarbone, barely exposed. 

“And it’s different, because—We knew we loved each other just not in that way,” he whispered. He was right but you wouldn’t let him know that. 

You looked up, “So what?” Still leaving wet kisses across his whole exposed neck. 

“So I said it first,” he stated. You stopped kissing him. “Hey,” he complained. 

You sat back up. “But you knew I was in love with you before,” you reminded him. 

“But not right now,” he complained. 

You scoffed, “You actually didn’t know I was in love with you right now.” 

“No,” he tried pulling you back to him. 

You smirked, rolling your eyes. “So you think I was only kissing you because of—“

He shrugged as he placed his hands on your waist. “I’m hot y/n, I turn you on.”

You coughed, faking a laugh. “You don’t.” 

He pulled you back to him, his hands traveling down to cup your ass, pushing you against him. He connected your lips with his on a sloppy, messy but deepened kiss. He managed to turn you both around, now him on top. He kissed his way to suck on your neck. You only closed your eyes 

“Fine you do,” you admitted pushing him away giggling, as he only stared at you with a smirk. “but that’s not what I was—You’re saying you didn’t know I was in love?”

He smiled, shaking his head. “I did not, I swear.” 

“Well, I am,” you admitted. 

He beamed. “Hm, and I am too.” He placed a hand on the back of your neck, and pulled you into a long kiss. His hands toyed with the hem of your shirt. You helped him take it off as he kissed down from your shoulders to your chest. 

“You know you can’t kiss me away to change my mind,” you mentioned. 

He nuzzled into your chest. “Oh I know, I know you’re a stubborn ass.” 

“Hey,” you playfully smacked his head. 

“Oi,” he climbed back up. “But we also just said I love you for the first time which it’s a pretty big deal,” he whispered. 

You blushed. “Huh guess it is,” you beamed, pulling him for yet another kiss.

“Hmmm,” he hummed.  

You pulled away. “But I did say it first.”

“Sh,” he chuckled, kissing you. 

“I love you,” you said between peppers. 

“Hmh, I love you,” he said back. And it felt so weird but so nice hearing it. You could listen to him say it again and again. Your new favorite song. 

“There, I said it first,” you teased. 

Tom had to sit back up to hold back his laughter. “Oh my god shut up,” he said with a grin. 

You smirked. “Make me.” 

*

But he didn’t lean over as you expected him to, he didn’t lean over to kiss you in the way he had the nights before. Not with the hunger and lust burning  in his eyes. Not with desire. 

He leaned over with a quick peck, and with a gentle smile. Slowly, his fingers threaded up and down your stomach, as he stared at your eyes, only. He only smiled against the kiss, and you did, too. You barely were even kissing, it was only silly smiles clumsily bumping into each other. A deep kiss then, your hands brushing his hair and his hand on your waist pulling him closer. 

You took off his shirt then, with his help as he climbed up to you, slow movements of his soft and light fingers as they bristled on your skin. Soft caresses of his lips, so slow as he bit your bottom lip. 

You wanted to say it again, but you didn’t want to wear it out. But you knew that with your lips against his he knew it. And he knew he wasn’t perfect for you, and he knew you weren’t either. He probably wasn’t the guy whom everyone would think you’d end up, and you could definitely see the ending to this, but it didn’t matter. He was perfect right now. 

His soft fingers travelled on your body, he hadn’t seemed to notice you were still wearing the pink flowered lingerie, or maybe he had, but his sight wouldn’t leave yours, as your own hands were brushing his cheeks, slightly caressing his lips. 

He went down to your neck next, nipping at your skin gently, his hands tracing your sides, and your own hands pressing down from his chest to his stomach. 

“I love you,” he said hoarsely. 

His clothes were a burden now, as your fingers were silking down finding freckles as you were barely looking at his back. Your lips parted, as you looked at him, his hair falling down to his eyes. 

And though his hands were going down to your heat, it didn’t feel like teasing, it felt more like he was exploring, as if he was memorizing it, just like you were counting each freckle on his body. He slowly undressed you completely, the underwear now hanging somewhere in the room. Once your body was free from the clothes and as you were pulling down his own pants, he started to chillingly kiss his way down to your stomach. 

Soft and tender, almost unnoticeable kisses. You wrapped your legs around him, wanting to feel his warm body pressed against yours, you wanted to feel each and every heartbeat. Your body flushed with each touch, as his tongue slid up from your chest back to your neck. You pushed him slightly, shifting to be on top of him and kiss him, his chest, his stomach, your hands pressing his bulky arms and then back on his lips, as you smiled against each kiss. 

“I love you,” you said this time. 

And he was holding your body like he knew it completely, and he probably did. Since you both arrived in New York, he had probably kissed every single spot on your body, and you had kissed his. You probably were now memorizing each and every spot, the ones that were pretty and the ones that weren’t. But tonight, it wasn’t like every other night in New York, it felt like the city was quiet, and it felt like the lights that came in weren’t the buildings. 

He sat you both up, with his nips getting sloppier with each kiss, as he tried to grind against you, with sweat now dripping from both of your bodies. You were melting against each touch, and you were sure the only sound in the room were your lips pressing to each other and the sweaty skin meeting softly. Velvety soothing sighs each time you pulled away, with his hands massaging every inch of your body, and your hands tugging at his untamable hair. Both of you giggled every once in a while to the kiss, as your fingers tickled his body. You had reached for the drawer in the nightstand, which had just been restocked that day with condoms. 

Bodies wrapped around each other, as he finally looked at you, as if asking for permission and you only nodded at his hazy, hungry eyes. You helped him wrap up the condom and then positioned yourself. 

You took a deep breath as you sank down now getting your core close to his length, you’d felt it growing more and more with each kiss, and your own sex had been pooling but both of you had seemed to ignore it, too lost in each other’s lips. Your lips parted just slightly as you felt him enter you, you gripped to his back as his own hands settled on your waist. You slowly lowered yourself, as both of you exhaled with relief. 

You nuzzled into his neck, as you slowly bounced up and down, rolling your hips, as he thrusted in and out. Soft moans slipping out of his mouth, as he called your name and only your nme. 

A steady rhythm as he brushed your sensitive sweet spots each time he thrusted in and out. Your lips found his again, as she smiled against them. And you were sure you could feel your heartbeat, and through pleasure you both tried to chase down both of your lips, urging to be so close to each other. 

You rested your forehead against his as your bouncing was turning even lazier, and barely even rocking, your thighs were yearning for relief, and maybe Tom sensed it as he pushed her back into the bed, now his thrusts burying deeper, each time, as your hands cupped his head. The friction getting you exactly where you wanted to, and you knew he was close, too, his drilling had become sloppy. You reflexively closed your thighs but he opened them back up. It was building up in your stomach, the overwhelming sensation of both of you seeing stars. 

He kept moaning your name and you kept moaning his, and he’d slip out every now and then and ‘I love you’, as both of you were shaking. 

Tonight you’d been quiet, not like every other night here in New York. You were only loud enough for the other to hear, because that’s all you needed. 

You didn’t last much, and you only gripped to his shoulders, and he followed after, his hips pushing harder until his release sprung out. 

He laid on top of you, as you listened to each other soft breaths and heartbeats. Once you both caught your breath he pulled out, but turned you around to kiss you again. 

*

And that’s all you really needed, sweet pecks around each other’s bodies, soft and quiet ‘I love you’s and giggling and smiling, blushing each time you looked into each other's' eyes. 

You couldn’t remember how you had finally slept in his arms, so close to his heart. But you barely slept after that, you only watched him, and there was a part of you that really knew he wouldn’t fuck up, you would. You watch him fall asleep, and when you were sure he was out, you kissed his cheek and then headed to the small sofa, and then opened your laptop as the  bright script stared at you, you wanted to change it all. And you had to tell him, but how could you tell him? 

You had to change this, but could you change the entire series? When you had to give it back in a week. But maybe you could tell him it was only based on your life, slightly. Besides, it ended on a happy note. 

This felt wrong. But you couldn’t help but smile, watching him. And you wrote the happy ending, how you had had it all wrong and how stupid it is to doubt love. How the girl ended u falling in love with him, anyway. 

Eventually you were drifting off, so you closed your laptop and got back in bed with him, he pulled you close to him. 

You woke up to the sound of the shower and an empty bed. You could hear Tom singing from the shower. ‘I think we’re alone now’. 

And it was funny how you now had the perfect soundtrack to your relationship, a quirky 80’s song that probably wouldn’t be considered romantic, and it definitely wasn’t the type of song you’d expect to dedicate. But you had danced to it, and your hearts had synced to it. Stupid as it may be. 

You hummed along, and you took out your laptop again. You typed it in, as a reminder, to find a song. Just the kind of song that had the same undertone, a bright song with lyrics that fit perfectly.

“Morning,” you grinned as the door opened. “Lovely voice you’ve got there.” 

“‘M sorry you looked so peaceful, didn’t want to wake you up, dumbass” he said as he had walked out of the shower, towel around his waist, droplets falling down his hair. “Did I wake you up-?” 

“No, you didn’t. All showered up, I see,” you grinned, closing your laptop. “Any plans today, frogface?”

“I do, actually, want to go out with my girlfriend.” 

“Oh,” you blushed. “You have a girlfriend? Should’ve told me before all of this happened.” 

He laughed. “Idiot.”  

You blew him a kiss. 

“I wanted to take you to a museum,” he commented, making his way over. “We have all these two days to ourselves so maybe we could enjoy it, then only two days more filming and we’re back, so I wanted to take you out on New York.” 

“Hm, or we could stay in bed all day,” you suggested, as you pulled his hand, he sat right beside you. He leaned over to kiss you. 

“Hm, no, as much as I’d love that...” he laughed. “C’mon, you’ve never been to New York before,” he said. 

And he was right. 

“Fine, a museum then?” You grinned as you wiped off a drop of water falling down his face. 

“Yeah, Museum of Moving Image, it’s basically a film museum, it’s in Queens.” 

“Queens, huh?” you grinned. “We could visit Peter Parker.” 

He laughed. “You have him right here, babe.” 

“No, Peter is smart,” you kissed his nose as he laughed with fake pain. “But didn’t you have tickets for a game?” 

He bit his lip. “Yeah, but.. That’s not really your scene, so… First the museum and then go listen to the Philharmonic,” he chuckled. “Or something aesthetic” 

You chuckled. “Sounds nice,” you bit your lip. 

“And you’re not excited?” He tilted your head. “You loved to do that stuff with… Him.” 

“Which is exactly,” you closed your eyes. 

“What, now?” 

“Tom, you don’t have to… I love you for who you are, okay? Let’s go to the game, and have fun, and really, let’s just explore New York, alright?” You leaned over to kiss him. 

He grinned. “Fine, we’ll go to the game.”He looked down at your laptop. “Hm?” 

“Sorry, I was writing,” you admitted. 

He grinned. “Ah, right, your script,” he chuckled. “Completely forgot about that.” 

“Yeah, I kind of want to be a writer for movies and such and kind of am an aspiring director,” you chuckled. 

“And here I thought you were having the time of your life being my assistant.” 

“Am I an assistant though?” You laughed. “Kind of feel like a hooker now, this definitely wasn’t on the job description.” 

He burst out in laughter, blushing. He cleared his throat. “Now you know why Haz and I moved in together.” 

You playfully smacked him. “Idiot.” 

He finally laid back down on the bed. “So, what’s the script about?” 

You felt your heart stopping. “Um.” 

He chuckled. “Fine, don’t tell me,” he laughed. “I remember you used to write the best stories.” 

You rolled your eyes. “You never liked any of them.” 

“That’s what I made you think,” he winked. “But I remember all kinds of stories.” 

“Yea,” you gulped. 

“So?” 

“You’ll know it when I’m ready for you to know it, okay?” You pecked him in the lips and then quickly headed to the shower, too. 

The rest of the day was fun, you went to a baseball game, holding hands and having fun, you got a little bit carried away by the game as you cheered for whatever team was playing, you’d shared a few kisses, covered by both your caps. It felt so different from Rome. Though you still had to hide, there were people who had recognized him and you definitely didn’t want the world to know about this… relationship before you even knew what it was. Besides, if the word spread around it would get to your families and you definitely were not ready to tell them, yet. And you knew it would be a terrible way to find out. 

But that didn’t stop you from having fun, and from laughing and enjoying the time with him, as both of you showed a side to each other that you’d never shown before, a side where you both were trying to show your best side, your best smile and your best laugh. The nicest jokes and the best manners. And your heart couldn’t stop beating so fast each time you shared a kiss. 

And you explored New York, just letting the city drive you to wherever it led. Getting on the subway, admiring street art, searching through the loud crowds. Finding places that were barely noticed by the usual tourists, but that you both found fun enough. Sometimes he’d find random moments to whisper he loved you, and your heart stopped each time. It wouldn’t wear out. 

Somehow, you both ended up deciding to go to the Modern Pinball, where you both were trying to prove the other that they were better at the game. And it felt, in a way like when you were children, laughing and competing without trying to hurt each other, but of course beat the other. The arcade was magical, and romantic in a way. 

He won, but you didn’t acknowledge it. 

But he kept mentioning it as you sat down at a nice New York bar, beer on both of your hands. 

“I won.” 

“You cheated,” you commented, laughing. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” 

“Hm you’re just bitter because you suck at pinball,” he sassed. 

You felt it, again. The magic, the night changing. Fearing that it would change again, not now, not tomorrow but soon. 

“That’s no way to talk to your girlfriend,” you said, flipping him off. 

“Oh, she’s here?” He looked around. 

“Dickhead.” 

“Fartface,” he grinned. “So, you actually are my girlfriend, then?” 

“Dunno, feels like we’ve messed all the order up,” you chuckled. “We first broke each other’s heart, then we slept together, then you asked me out, then we said I love you and now we’re dating, what kind of order is that?” 

He snorted. “Hm, at this point we’ll end up getting a divorce first,  then a kid, go to our kid’s wedding and then  get married ourselves and right after that we’ll finally go to our third date.” 

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Silly.” 

“At least we already broke each other’s hearts, we skipped the worst part,” he smiled. 

You looked down with a sad smile. 

But you were both quick to change the subject. And then he kept insisting on going to the museum the next day, and you were actually kind of excited for it. Though you both were laughing at how both Harrison and your brother were asking for an update on your relationship. 

“I think we should tell them,” he said. 

“Hm, really?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I don’t want to hide this.” 

You smiled. “Really?” 

He chuckled, “Second date but, yes y/n, I want you to meet my parents, dumbface” he grinned. 

“I already know your parents, idiot,” you pointed out. 

“Not as my girlfriend, you don’t.” 

And you’d both gone quiet. That was fast, so so fast, and this meant he really was going serious, which meant you had to be quick with your own thoughts over the script. You had to back away. You had to give this up. Or tell him. Find a way to tell him. 

“So I am your girlfriend?” You teased chuckling. 

He seemed to realize it, though, maybe he was backing away. 

“No, but might be fun to make them think you are,” he cleared his throat before chuckling. “And we can pretend it, too, and just--” 

“Fine, I’ll meet your parents,” you smiled, kissing his hand. “And maybe you can meet mine, too.” 

But of course, the fairytale had to end, didn’t it? You didn’t even remember how it had happened, you only remembered crying on the edge of the bed. And Tom pacing around the room. 

The fucking film canister, a single damned prop had ruined the last 24 hours. Your stupid decision had made everything explode. Nothing that either of you’d said or felt or done mattered because he found the film canister. 

Of course you didn’t expect him to be calm about it. And he had been when he had found it. Initially, until he connected the dots. 

How had he found it? 

How the hell had he found it? 

Why the fuck had you forgotten it was on your purse? And then you were cursing yourself for not giving it back, why hadn’t you given it back? Why were you so confused towards Timmy? Were you planning on keeping it forever? 

“y/n, oh my god, I just… You just carry this around everywhere?” He frowned. 

“No, I don’t.” 

“Why--I… Please, sorry just walk me through this, please, I… You have his engagement ring? You kept the engagement ring?” 

“I told you what happened, alright? I wanted to say yes at that point.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were planning on saying yes, and were you planning on saying it right now-?” 

“I brought it to give it back to him, alright?” You snapped. “I was going to do it yesterday at dinner.” 

“And you didn’t,” Tom snapped. “Which has to mean something, I-” 

“I literally just said I loved you, you really think it means something?” 

“Y/N, yes!” Tom cried. “You said it yesterday, you’ve always believed he might be the love of your life.” 

“And I fucking said I was in love with you throughout my whole relationship with him, and I also fucking said I said no to that ring because I still loved you!” 

“Yet you still have this!” He pointed out. 

“Fine, give it to me, I’ll go right now and give it back to him,” you walked over, snatching it from his hand. 

Tim opened up the door to his hotel room, he had just showered you could tell, as he was drying his hair with the white towel. He smiled brightly at you, and you only wanted to forget this, get yourself out of this situation. 

And you wondered how wrong this was, because there was still that buzzing in your ear saying that he should be the one you should love, he was the guy whom you should end up with. Everybody saw it, the guy whom your parents had loved, the guy who was clean and who understood you, the fairytale, and the rom com, the guy who you were supposed to love. And yet, with everything your heart still belonged to Tom.  

“Hi,” he grinned. “You arrived early… I uh, want to head somewhere?” You had called him on your way. 

“No,” you answered quickly, and you had to hold your breath. “I…” You had been playing with the film canister all the way from your own hotel. You handed it to him as he watched it curiously. “I need to give it back. I… I wanted to wait until we were back in London but I need to get rid of this guilt, Tim, I can’t let you keep holding on to something that might never…” You started, and you had promised yourself you wouldn’t cry but then again you had promised yourself you wouldn’t love Tom again, you were very good at breaking promises. 

Tim looked up, slightly, and then he opened it, revealing the ring he’d once given you. He stayed quiet. “Alright.” 

That’s all he had said, but you knew it wasn’t alright. “I’m so sorry, Tim, I hope you find someone who will love you as much as you deserve to be loved and more,” you said, and the tears were already streaming down. You didn’t wipe them off, as if you weren’t acknowledging them. 

He pursed his lips. “This is it, huh?” 

“I.. I don’t know Tim, I… I’m so sorry.” 

He only stared at it. “Can I ask…. where did I go wrong?” 

“You didn’t.” And that’s what hurt the most, you guessed. That he had been perfect, just… Not for your heart. 

“I—I just want to know what I did wrong, what could I have done better?” He pushed, as he finally looked into your eyes, and you saw him hurt. And that’s the last thing you ever wanted, to see him hurt. He didn’t deserve to be hurt. 

“It’s not you,” you admitted. 

“I still—I feel like I could’ve done so much more,” he said as he walked out of his room to lean against the wall. “and—And I know, I know you never loved me like—”

“I loved you, Timmy.” Because you didn’t want him to think you’d never loved him. 

“Not the way you should’ve,” he scoffed. 

You tensed up. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know I’m just—”He ran a hand through his face and then through his hair. “I’m sorry, I’m being annoying. I should get over you.” 

You didn’t answer. 

“I’ve been trying to understand what went wrong,”he said, mostly to himself it seemed. “We almost never fought y/n, we always—we were happy, and I thought we were okay, but it seemed like every Friday you’d get dressed up but then realize it was for me, as if it didn’t excite you, as if every time you picked up you wished it was him instead.” 

It felt like you were being stabbed on your stomach. “No timmy you did, I loved you, it was you…” 

“It wasn’t, y/n,” he gulped. “I only wanted to love you, y/n, and—And I don’t understand what happened. And—It was my mistake but I guess I asked for too much.” 

“No, Timmy, this is me.” 

“No, I know,” you saw his eyes were now starting to water but he discreetly wiped a tear off. “And I’m sad I ran out of chances because there is just so much love still waiting okay?”

You wanted to change this, you wanted to fast forward this moment, to know the right answer, read the spoiler and know how this would end. 

“And we never had a proper goodbye,” he continued. “And I understand that you wanted to be loved,” he smiled sadly. “That’s all I did, you only asked to be loved but—Maybe that was my problem, I never asked you to love me back.” 

“I did love you back, so much, and I still do, I’m just… I am so sorry I wasn’t able to love you like you deserved to.” Because he didn’t deserve to be feeling this way 

“And does he?” He closed the film canister again and played with it. 

“What?”

“Does he love you like he’s supposed to? Because I see you smiling, but you’ve—You've painted him as such a monster-” He sighed. 

“He’s not a monster.” 

“How long will it take him to break your heart again?” He asked, as if he was asking for an actual day, to be prepared. “Because maybe y/n—I won’t be there, fuck now I sound toxic…I am super toxic, fuck,” he closed his eyes. “I just have the right to be sad, okay? Or angry I guess,” he nodded and looked away. “I mean yoou were in love with another man throughout our whole relationship..” He said with poison. 

You scowled. “I wasn’t, I was in love with you.” 

“All the time?” 

You leaned against the other wall, crossing your arms. “It took me a while, but I did, I loved… I love you, alright? I’m just…” You paced around. “It’s so complicated, Timmy, I just… I want to be with him right now, okay?”You snapped. “And I’m sorry Tim, I’m just willing to risk it, I need to know what it feels like to finally be loved by him.” 

He nodded, and then silenced himself for a while. 

“Was there anything I could’ve done?” 

“Tim.” You squeezed your eyes shut, and he walked over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“I just need to know.” 

“It wasn’t you, Tim, it was me, and it’s… “You walked out of his embrace. “It’s horrible because I know .. There's a part of me that knows that you’re… “You gulped and watched him, raising your voice. “You’re supposed to be the love of my life and I don’t get it, alright? And when you were gone, I didn’t want you to be another story, okay? I cried so much because I knew I had lost you...But… “You scowled. “My heart just keeps being an idiot, but right now I don’t care, okay?” You admitted. “If he wants to break my heart then it’s alright, I’m willing to get my heart broken one last time, maybe I’ll finally learn but right now, let me enjoy this,” you pleaded. “Let me have this, and I know it, everyone says it, you’re my endgame, you and I are perfect for each other but Tim, I can’t do this to you, I love him, right now I want to be with him.” 

Tim watched you. “And do you really love him? Or is he only the story you wanted to write?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You tend to confuse real life with your own writings, and you tend to dream too much and often forget that life isn’t a movie, y/n,” he commented. 

“That’s not what’s happening,” you snapped. 

“I know, I’m…”He pinched the bridge of his now. “Guess I’m only trying to convince myself, sorry.” 

You stayed silent. 

“I’m sorry, it’s… I’ll see you at Harry and Emma’s engagement party,” he said as he was walking back to his room. 

“What?” 

He sighed. “Yeah, as much as it might bother you to see me, I’m still the bride’s best friend,” he shrugged. 

“I didn’t know they were having-” 

“Yeah, when we come back, Emma only told me, don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll tell you, after all you’re the maid of honor, aren’t you? Or maybe Harry…” Tim closed his eyes. “We really fucked up by introducing our best friends to each other huh.” 

You didn’t say anything. 

“Will you and Tom still be a secret?” Tim asked. 

“Dunno.” 

He sighed. “I know I’m asking too much but please, try to…” He gulped. “Keep down the snogging when you guys are around, I know it’s a new relationship but.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah,” he gulped as he then closed the door. 

Maybe you were wrong, maybe knowing that someone was the love of your life but your heart not wanting them back was what hurt the most. 

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