#so DM and NG have had a falling out

[ineffablebastards]

hmm

writing things down to get them out

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Nobody's Girl - Chapter Four.

So, since it's Good Friday, allow me to be good to the NG bookclub! I think this is the chapter that people have been most excited for, so without further ado...

Previous chapters - One Two Three

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 4,656

Warnings - Adult content throughout, minors DNI!

Awaking the next morning, Emily rolled onto her back, away from the warm body that still acted like torture upon her emotions, sighing to herself. She’d hugged up against him, but he hadn��t reciprocated beyond holding her hand and kissing it, leaving her sexually fizzing into an utter frenzy, so acerbic that sleep had done little to quell the desire she had for the king of the mafia.  

Still, he slept on, softly snoring beside her, Emily lying there at the utter mercy of everything that coursed through her blood like wildfire. It forced her hand, literally, licking her fingertips and reaching beneath the covers, pulling her nightgown up as she let her thighs fall apart, her fingers stroking softly over her apex, humming quietly as her eyes took in his chiselled back.  

Staring hard, she fantasised about him turning over and catching her touching herself right at his side, how it would feel to be touched by a man who possessed his kind of experience, the twenty-year age gap doing nothing but stoking her want to have him all over her. She willed it, dared him even, through each sweep of her fingers, for him to turn over and take over, show her how a real man touched a woman, bring her to the heavens with his prowess.  

And then, he did.  

“Busy hands, honey?” he asked sleepily, noticing immediately what she was doing. Even though she wanted it, her energy calling out like a siren to him, her shyness made her cease. He tutted, preventing her hand from moving away. “Carry on, doll. But let me watch.”  

He pushed the covers off of her, his stare fixing upon her for the first time, pupils inking as a long, laboured breath fluttered over his lips, feeling himself beginning to harden instantly. She closed her legs immediately, and he tutted, a hand smoothing between her thighs to stroke them back to parted. “Let me see you, bella donna.”  

The green sparks of his rapidly blackening eyes bolstered her confidence, letting her legs fall open, her fingers resuming their soft stroke. It was so intimate, to watch him watching her, the heat of the connection between them still not acted upon crackling like a firework fuse, lit and primed to explode, Luca not able to prevent his reaching for her.  

His hand pressed against her chest, heated and eager in its glide, his mouth leaning to her neck, kisses raining, Emily gasping when his fingertips joined hers.  

“Oh, god,” she moaned, closing her eyes, her hips rising from the bed. “Please, don’t stop.”  

He groaned against her throat, fingers trailing further, teeth gently nipping her skin. “I could have a hook pierced through my hand being towed by a chain, and it wouldn’t be enough to stop me, baby.”  

She felt him open her, two fingers pushing within, the sensation shooting up her spine, Emily jolting, blinking a few times in utter confusion before it dawned on her. Turning to her side, he was lying on his back, eyes fixed upon the ceiling. Oh, god! Had she moaned in her sleep? Had he heard it?  

“Morning,” she spoke shyly, his eyes flitting to her.  

He looked at her with a slight smile, his focus returning to the ceiling. “Did ya sleep well?” 

“I did. And you?” God, she felt so awkward. 

“Yeah, ‘till you woke me. Nightmare? You groaned kinda loudly.”  

If the ground was ever going to open up and swallow her...  

Before she could shame herself with rapidly pinking cheeks, she climbed from the bed, heading for the bathroom. “I don’t remember my dreams, so I’ve no idea.”  

“Ah,” he breathed, the bathroom door closing with a thud. “Wish I didn’t.” The only thing that had ran through his brain all night was dreaming of beating Giacinto Calabrese to death, each blow connecting until bone shattered to mere fragments, the man’s skull reduced to soft goop. In his dream, he’d then turned to see Emily there, her eyes wide with horror, whispering the words that had broken him.  

“You’re just like the rest.” 

It wasn’t true, either, and that was what killed him. He was worse, and he always had been. He didn’t meet her eyes when she left the bathroom, picking up his clean clothes and entering, Emily pulling on some underwear and a dress, moving to the kitchen and making coffee with a sigh. Coming to realise that he would likely be nothing but approving if he’d guessed she was having a sex dream about him, she had to conclude he was suddenly being quiet with her for another reason. But what?  

Her heart ricochetted into her throat at hearing the bathroom door open, daring to glance over at him. He moved to one of the large sets of windows, twirling the blind rod until they opened, looking down at the street below. Picking up the other coffee, she carried it to him, holding out the cup.  

“Thanks, doll.”  

Her eyes snapped to his hand immediately, damage present that she hadn’t noticed in the dark the night before, or that her shame hadn't allowed her to witness so far that morning. “What in the name of...” she trailed off, reaching for his red, slightly swollen knuckles. “What happened?” 

“Gave someone a beating,” he surmised, bringing the coffee to his lips and blowing before taking a careful sip. 

“Who?”  

He looked at her for a second, eyes darting away again. “Giacinto.”  

“Oh,” she breathed, wondering what had reared between them this time, even though of course she knew that the families were pretty much in constant battle. “What did he do?”  

He took a breath and another sip of coffee before placing the cup down on the windowsill, eyes casting downwards, his thick, black lashes concealing the bright green that then met her gaze with strong intent. “Raised a hand to you.”  

Her eyes widened a fraction, her heart somersaulting within her rapidly tightening chest. Finally, there he was. Somebody who wanted to protect her, a person she had both needed and craved her entire life. “You, you beat him up? For me?” 

His shoulders tightened a fraction, sagging then, reaching to stroke her cheek. “For other reasons, too.” Lie. “Mostly for you, though.” Lie. It had solely been for her, and she saw it right there in the way he looked down at her. “Give me a minute, darlin’.”  

He left her standing there breathless, moving over to the other side of the apartment, lifting the phone to his ear to make a call. She didn’t get the gist of it at all, Luca speaking exclusively to whoever was at the other end in Italian, her feet taking her back over to the end of the bed and sitting down. Once he was done, he resumed his place at the window, the atmosphere between them growing heavy.  

“Will you be in trouble, for beating him?” she asked, the tall Italian not replying right away.  

“Probably,” he spoke with nonchalance, his mouth curling into a slight smirk. “Ain’t nothing I can’t handle, though. He wanted you back, Emily. I told him that wasn’t gonna happen.”  

Another silence followed for a time, Emily taking a breath. “Am I safe here, Luca?” 

He sniffed, running his long, tapered fingers through his hair, his magnetic green eyes moving from the street below over to her. “From them, yes. But maybe not from me.”  

She gulped, and he saw it, the fear flashing through the storm grey of her eyes, moving to crouch before her, resting his hands upon her thighs. “Not like that, honey. I ain’t gonna hurt you, but the more time I spend with you, the more I fuckin’ want you more than any other woman I’ve ever met.” 

And he did. He wanted her so badly, it drove him to maddened distraction. She was unlike the women of his past, the fiery Italian broads who matched his ire and deafened his senses with their brashness. This dainty, quiet little creature was all sweetness and softness, a light he knew the dark in him was drawn to, a helpless, enchanted moth to her flame.  

He wanted to sink his teeth into her, eat her like a ripe summer peach, but he held himself back, resisted the urge. She was too delicate for it, for the lust that prowled through his veins like a fire breathing dragon. His heat, he knew, would burn her to ashes, yet Luca never assumed for one minute that Emily actually wanted to feel his fire against her skin. 

After all, she’d handled much worse than a horny Changretta. 

Reaching for his face, her dainty fingers toured the scars, shuffling nearer to the edge of the bed, the potent smell of his skin and cologne heady upon her senses. Her touch rained like rose petals over everything in him that was hard and foreboding, her fingernail idly tracing the black cross marked upon the side of his neck.  

“Maybe I want you just as much.”  

When she replaced her finger for her lips, his blood set to boil, heart hammering, a neon blaze of arousal illuminating his insides as his hands began to slowly creep up her thighs. How he managed to continue tethering his want for her, hanging onto it like a roped in wild bull, he didn’t know, the flick of her tongue against his throat setting his teeth to clench. “You sure?”  

She’d had enough of being nobody’s girl, coveting to be his and his alone. Her soft lips laid kisses along his jaw, a bloom like no other fluttering through her insides when she felt him grasp her underwear, but pause, awaiting her permission. “Yes, Luca. I’m very, very sure.”  

Green met grey in an unblinking gaze, his breath hot against her cheek, hands pulling her underwear down her legs, her fingers trailing over his chest as their lips met at last. He let go of the rope in that moment, setting the bull free to charge, and how it did as he pushed her back onto the bed, settling himself between her thighs as he kissed her with every last drop of longing he’d held ever since she first walked into his life.  

Her insides tingled with the arousal of it, feeling a man atop her for the first time, skilled hands smoothing over her body, her clothes removed as his kisses rained over her neck, Emily suddenly feeling the sharp pinch of nerves as her nudity was finally exposed to him. Her arms moved to her chest, covering herself, Luca seeing it in her face as her muscles stiffened.  

“You ain’t ever been with a man before, have you, bella donna?”  

She shook her head.  

Taking her arms, he unfolded them, sitting back on his heels as he looked down at her. She was so breathtaking, he almost felt faint. All that beauty, and he was the first man she’d trusted enough to enjoy it. And boy, how he would. “S’okay, baby. I promise you’ll enjoy it. Fuck, you’re so damned beautiful.” 

She felt it, too, watching the path his hands took as he toured her skin, lowering to her again, kissing her with hunger. He wanted to be wild with her, show her a new world of everything sexual, devour her completely, but she still lay a little tense beneath him. It had been a long, long time since he’d been with a virgin, Luca knowing well he needed to pull himself back a little again for the sake of her comfort, but god, she didn’t make it easy.  

He wanted to shred his clothes to tatters in order to feel the bare press of her flesh against his, but let her be in control of that, eventually feeling her hands move to begin undressing him from the finely tailored suit still acting as an annoying barrier, her mouth gliding from his neck to his chest as she unbuttoned his shirt and waistcoat.  

Feeling her relax, he smiled, panting as her hands explored him, her skin so lily white against the olive of his flesh, dark and light entwining as she wrapped her arms around him, hands trailing over his back. He was all lithe muscles and sharp angles, but his body melded to hers perfectly, fit like a missing jigsaw piece, Emily enjoying the heat of his skin against hers, beginning to yearn. 

Her fingers undid his pants, her heart amping up a few notches at realising exactly what was straining for release within. The bashfulness of knowing that she had no clue what on earth to do with it once he was fully naked prickled through her, his hard cock springing free, her eyes widening a little. She had no base for comparison, but oh, it wasn’t small.  

Curling her hand around it, she marvelled at how hard it was, encased in such soft, dark skin, her mouth moving back to his neck as she squeezed, but then stilled, feeling a little useless until he reached down, covering her hand with his own. He guided her touch, his other hand stroking her face as he stared at her, the want in his eyes killing her shame at not knowing what she was doing dead.  

“Like that, baby.” he whispered, releasing her hand, letting her go it alone. ��Fuck, yeah that’s good.” 

She felt empowered by his praise, even more so when her hand reached the head of his hardness and her thumb skimmed the tip, oozing fluid onto her, a deep, lust drenched moan rattling his throat. It arrowed her insides, feeling herself becoming wet as her walls tingled, repeating the same action that had roused that primal sound from him.  

When he made it again, his mouth crashed against hers, a kiss of torrid thirst as their tongues entwined, his hips swaying against the pump of her hand. She gripped just a tiny bit harder, experimenting a little, a slight twist of her hand pulling more sounds of approval from him, her wrist suddenly grasped. “No more.” She thought she’d done wrong for a moment, a little shard of panic grazing against her chest, Luca pinning her arms above her head. “Feels a little too good.”  

Relaxing, she lay there and instead surrendered to him, his mouth gliding to her tits, lips closing around her nipple. Tiny daggers pricked her flesh as she felt the warm suck of his mouth, not releasing it until it stood hard, a pink pebble he flicked his tongue across, kisses descending while trailing his hand to her thigh, shifting as he stroked the soft skin, creeping ever closer to where she ached to be touched.  

His fingertips finally met her petals, dewy and warm, pulling a soft groan from him. “God above, you’re so fuckin’ wet.” 

Her eyes widened, looking down at him with trepidation. “Is that a bad thing?” 

Oh, she was so sweet and naive. He chuckled quietly, tongue circling her navel. “Uh-uh, no way, honey. No way in this world is a pretty, soaking wet little cunt a bad thing.” She expected him to begin working his way back up to her mouth, but instead, each kiss was peppered lower, his tongue gliding over her hipbones as his fingers gently stroked at her, Emily feeling a little uneasy suddenly when she cottoned on to exactly where he intended to place those kisses.  

When he finally did, though, tongue pushing through her folds to lick at the syrupy wet of her, her eyes closed, head thudding back against the bed, the feel, the intimacy of it, his mouth on her most sacred of places, was absolutely mind blowing. Mind blowing, and not what she’d expected. 

“Oh... I um, I didn’t think Italian guys liked doing that?” 

He snorted a soft laugh, raising an eyebrow. “Where’d you hear that bullshit?” 

“Around,” she spoke, her eyes darting away, embarrassment pinking her cheeks.  

“Ya did, huh?” he rumbled, giving her inner thigh a little bite before he pushed the flat of his tongue against her folds, dragging it slowly and firmly. “Not this Italian, darlin’. Trust me, you ain’t gonna see my face for so long, you’ll forget what I look like.” 

He repeated the action, Emily shivering from the heat of his mouth. “I’m fine with that.” 

He chuckled, deep and raspy, his tongue flicking the bud of her clit before he kissed it softly, still smiling at how wrong her assertion was. “Thought you might be.” The pressure of each lick was like a blaze of stars twinkling through her, his fingers joining, stroking her folds until he held them spread, tongue pressing her clit as it began to rotate a slow, firm circle.  

The beautiful whimper that spilled from her lips almost made him come on command. “Think she likes my tongue.”  

“Oh god... don’t you dare stop!”  

He laughed, low and dirty against her, lips wrapping her clit in a soft, warm suck. She almost cried at that, Luca knowing exactly what he was doing to her. “You gettin’ feisty with me? Making your demands, huh?” 

“Luca! Stop using your mouth for speaking!” she whimpered, her chest rising and falling rapidly.  

He looked up at her, arching an eyebrow, his gaze flitting between her and her gleaming sex a couple of time before he winked. “Alright Guess I’ll say what I gotta without words.” And god, how he did. Long licks from her streaming opening to her bud told her exactly what he wanted to say, that she was beautiful, that he couldn’t get enough of her, that the nectar of her hot little cunt drove him out of his senses with rampant desire.  

His mouth upon her was unlike anything she could have imagined, hot and eager, so expert in how he touched her, each lick bestowed having the kind of focus that tore little cries from her throat, her walls flexing as her clit hardened against the fast beat of his tongue. She’d never even touched herself with that kind of knowledge before, the experience he had in shades awakening her to the divine.  

The pleasure tumbled through her, her blood running hot through her hammering heart, fingers combing his raven hair as her hips shook. She was alight and glowing from the tight circles pressed over her bud, his fingers slipping down to push inside her, sinking in deep, stroking at her until she wailed, her thighs skimming the sides of his face.  

Those clever fingers slid back and forth with god-given dexterity, speeding up, coaxing noises from her that made his cock harden even further, the need to be inside her all-encompassing. Emily could feel it, the climbing pleasure weaving through her like a creeper vine ascending, his fingers and tongue working her faster as her cries filled the air.  

She didn’t understand how something already so good could keep on feeling better, her cunt hugging upon his fingers as her body went rigid, and then... white hot bliss poured over her bones, every fibre of her being ablaze with the nirvana of her first orgasm. He watched her keenly as she writhed, her body jolting before her muscles all relaxed, the afterglow gleaming her like a summer dawn, a smile crinkling his eyes as his tongue gentled against her, but didn’t cease.  

“Luca, oh my god,” she panted, trying to push him away. He had other ideas, though. “Stop, it’s too much.” 

Shaking his head as he gently sucked her folds, his eyes seemed to glow brighter, the peridot flecks gleaming, glittered by the triumph of her pleasure. “You told me not to,” he shrugged lightly, tongue still lapping lazily over her sensitive clit. 

“I know, but really, it’s too much!” 

A soft grunt welled his throat. “Not yet it ain’t, doll.” Her thighs closed around his head, Luca grumbling, turning to bite her flesh, laughing quietly when she squealed, his fingers softly stroking over the puffy, ruined wet of her pretty folds. “Can't expect me to stop right now. A woman always tastes the sweetest right after she comes." 

“Is that a fact, huh, my handsome man?” she laughed softly, her chuckles like sweet music to his ears. 

Hearing her call him that, her handsome man, his heart skipped on a beat. Taking her hand, he shifted up a little, placing a soft kiss against her inner wrist. “That’s a fact, cara mia.” His mouth returned to her, each lick carefully laid, until her sensitivity passed and once more his touch elicited nothing but moonbeams. She’d once overheard a woman speak of the fact that Italian men were the greatest lovers on earth, and so far, Emily had to confess that she was in complete agreement with such a statement.  

His hands stroked over her body, making her feel nothing short of worshipped by him, the coolness of his gold rings contrasting deliciously with the heat of his fingers, Luca clutching her thighs and keeping her spread wide for his mouth, unabating as he continued to lick and suck at her.  

“Got another for me, huh baby?” he murmured, reading her body expertly as her breathing became more rapid, her soft curves quaking as he teased fire through her veins.  

“Mmhmm!” she hummed, lips clamped tightly as her hands fisted the covers either side of her head, writhing against his mouth. His lips pulled at her clit in a hard suck, tongue flicking at the tip, her release a flurry of pleasure that glimmered up her spine, leaving her breathless once more. 

Emerging from between her legs, he kissed his way back to her mouth, pausing to gaze down at her, fingers stroking tenderly over her cheek. “You got no idea how fuckin’ beautiful you are, do you?” 

Reaching between them, her hand grasped his cock. “This tells me pretty well.” He laughed softly through his nose, shaking his head. Her other hand moved to cup his face, thumb stroking over his smile. “This tells me, too.” His lips parted, sucking the tip of her thumb as she guided his cock to her, his body falling a little more to hers, sinking in with a fluid push.  

Her mouth fell open, his eyes questioning as he stroked her face, Emily answering with a nod as she pulled him closer, kissing him with soft, syrupy heat. Bottoming out, he pulled back, the slick hug of her around him beautiful, watching the desire dance in her eyes as she gasped at being filled up again. It knocked her sideways, being breached so deeply, his mouth claiming hers as their lips crushed together in a passionate, consuming display of arousal. 

“Holy fuck, you feel like fuckin’ heaven.” he groaned deeply, mouth leaving hers to bury at her delicate neck, the drum of her pulse bouncing against his eager lips as he glided effortlessly in and out of her heat. Her walls clenched around him, snugly enclosing his cock in wet heat, making him shudder against her body as they writhed together in complete and utter bliss.   

She twinged a little at being split around a cock for the first time, little pinpricks of pain that merged with the divine pleasure of such heated thickness invading her, Luca repeatedly reminding himself to keep slow, knowing he was a lot to get used to.  

Helpless, soft little exclamations fluttered over her lips, his fingertips stroking them, gently grasping her jaw and turning her head to sear her mouth with his once more. Her hands glided over his shoulders, delighting in the delicious feel of him beneath her palms, sparks skittering over every single nerve. 

He felt heavy both atop and inside her, pressing into her so forcefully, Emily felt herself drowning in his consuming passion, his raw masculinity, everything about him imposing, but in such a way that he could have poured into her forever and it’d never be enough.   

She felt drunk on him completely, Luca locking his arms around her, lifting her body as he sat back on his heels, letting her sink down onto his cock. She clasped on around him, thighs tight at his hips as she felt him even deeper within her walls than before, clenching on him, stroking his face as they shared more kisses of pure, erotic frenzy.   

The hunger she keened with for him was unmatched, her body opened like a flower before the sun, drinking up the rays of warmth he gilded her with. He let her to find her own way upon him, allowing her to set the pace he then began to move in time with, groaning at the slow, rolling rhythm. It might have been all brand new and shiny for her, but for Luca, he couldn’t remember the last time when sex had felt so blindingly intimate.  

Her hips bucked into him, ensnaring his slippery length with each undulation, his hands grasping her ass and hauling her closer, wanting to be even deeper within her. His teeth grazed at her throat, nipping at her lily pale skin, deep moans flowing from his mouth to hers as they shared kisses of fiery honey once more.   

She swallowed them back, her cunt hugging him in a series of strong flutters as they undulated together so perfectly, she never wanted him to retreat. It was scorching, one hundred percent passion, and lord, it was everything she’d ever hoped sex with him would be. 

He shifted her higher on him with ease, her thighs loosening their grip as he bucked up against her with thrusts that hit hard, his mouth everywhere, sucking and tasting her petal soft skin, her head tipping back, exclamations of bliss pouring from her mouth.   

She stared deep into the twinkling green of his eyes, continuing to roll against him, the heat of his cock scorching her insides, saturating him in a gloss of her arousal. His hands drifted up her back, grasping her shoulders, nuzzling her softly while pulling her down against his thrusts as he moved with greater friction beneath her. 

Tensing around him, she began to pant against his mouth, her cries spilling out like a fountain bursting into life, his hand splaying over her hip between them, thumb stretching to rub tight, firm circles at her clit.   

Each one drew the wildness out of her more, Emily grinding on him almost savagely in the pursuit of the ultimate undoing, taking him by surprise at the sudden urgency she displayed. She rode him with all the intensity he fucked her with, their bodies colliding together frantically.  

His muscles flexed with effort, deep, furious grunts peppering the air as his body stiffened in spasm, his cock twitching and spurting deep, glazing her cunt with cum as the lightning flickered, her spine tingling and thighs shaking.   

He had her cresting hard against him, nails grazing his back as her release struck home, a bonfire of pleasure roaring through her so torridly, she felt completely unmoored. The hammering of his heart against her breast eventually brough her back from the cloud she floated on, feeling dreamy and drunk, smiling as he kissed her.  

“Damn, you sure ride wild,” he panted. She laughed, Luca lying her down on her back, his cock exiting her with a slippery pop before he lay on his side next to her. “Whatcha thinkin’ about, baby?” 

“That I’ve been seriously missing out on something so amazing for a long time.”  

He kissed her shoulder, fingers idly tracing around her nipple. “Glad I could be the one to show ya. Gimme a half hour to recover, and I’ll help you make up for a little more lost time.”  

Moving closer, she hooked her leg over his hip, fingers trailing over the soft, dark hair upon his chest. “Is that a promise?” 

The way he kissed her said it probably wouldn’t even be half an hour.  

[hannie-dul-set]

THE PUHON PLAYLIST.

— twenty three hearts. twenty three songs. twenty three stories.

SUMMARY | a collection of fics for all members of nct2020! all the fics will be centered around ben&ben songs, but even if you don’t know them, you can still read! the lengths may vary, and this collection is gonna be on shuffle meaning there is no order for the updates HDJFH and there’s also no order for you to read hehe i’ll be providing translations and links to the songs as well ^^

SCHEDULE | there is no schedule. puhon means “in god’s time” so i’ll also be updating and finishing this in god’s time <3

STATUS | ongoing! (3/23)

TAGLIST | send me an ask/dm if you wanna be tagged for all of the fics, or you can specify the ones that you want to be added in (please inform me if you wanna be removed too!)

MOON TAEIL | LEAVES [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | it's the first time you've met someone so carefree— so unapologetically himself. the first meeting, you were annoyed. the second, maybe he wasn't that bad. and the third, fourth, fifth came until you realize that maybe that's what you've been needing all this time. GENRE | office! au, strangers to lovers! au, angst (of course), romance, fluff, humor WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "leaves will soon grow from the bareness of trees // and all will be alright in time // from waves overgrown come the calmest of seas // and all will be alright in time // ohh you never really love someone until you learn to forgive"

SEO JOHNNY | NAKIKINIG KA BA SA AKIN? [coming soon!]

(ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?) SUMMARY | political marriages were unavoidable in royalty. it's always what's the best for the nation and not the best for you. you and johnny knew this when your engagement was announced, but one tries his best making things work out, while the other tries her best to avoid the unavoidable. GENRE | modern royal! au, arranged marriage! au, one sided e2l, romance, angst, fluff WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | “sasalubungin kita sa dulo ng 'yong galit” + “nakikinig ka ba sa akin? // hindi kita gustong awayin // pareho ang ating hangarin // ang kadiliman ay basagin" ("i will meet you at the end of your anger" + "are you listening to me? // i don't wish to fight you // we both dream of the same thing")

LEE TAEYONG | PAALAM [coming soon!]

(GOODBYE) SUMMARY | there are five stages in moving on, but taeyong can’t seem to get past the first stage. that is until his friend johnny introduced him to you— self proclaimed heart doctor and a professional at helping people let go. there are also five stages in falling in love, but you found yourself falling through all five stages quicker than you’d expected, and for someone that you know that you shouldn’t be falling for. GENRE | strangers to lovers! au, a dash of unrequited love but happy ending don’t worry, angst angst angst, romance, fluff WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | “ba't 'di man lang nagpaalam? // oh, 'di lang ikaw 'yung nasaktan // hindi pa ba sapat // nung binigay ko ang lahat?” + “at kahit 'di nagpaalam // 'di bale na kung nasaktan // ika'y naging sapat // kahit tinapon ang lahat // paalam” ("why didn't you even say goodbye? // you're not the only one that got hurt // was it not enough // when i gave you everything?" + "and even if you didn't say goodbye // nevermind that we've been hurt // you were enough // even if we threw everything away // goodbye")

NAKAMOTO YUTA | DOORS [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | yuta was loud, open, and unafraid to relay anything that's on his mind. you were not. quiet, reserved,and preferred to keep things to yourself, even while you two were together. people asked yuta how did the both of you manage to stay together this long— from the last year of high school until now in college, and he'd always answer with a smile that you're kind, understanding, patient, and oh wait— that's all he really knew about you, didn't he? GENRE | college! au, established relationship! au, yuta is a loud dumbass while you’re a quiet dumbass, very heartwarming growth of the relationship jdhfjd, romance, fluff, minimal angst maybe WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "i won't ever know what's on your mind // if you'll always be hidin' behind // words you never mean, just to be kind // will there ever be no more of your secret doors?"

QIAN KUN | MASYADO PANG MAAGA [coming soon!]

(TOO EARLY) SUMMARY | italy— the land of love, as they say. of course, that was only a saying, kun knew well of that. he wasn't expecting to actually fall in love on the cobblestone streets of the country, but things always happen when you least expect it. he didn't expect you to leave as quickly as you came, either. GENRE | pain just pain, tourist! au, strangers to lovers to strangers <//3, romance, angst, fluff WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | “parang kay bilis ng iyong pag-alis // teka lang, teka lang, teka lang muna // sa'n nagkamali? // pwede bang bumawi?” + “na minahal kita higit pa sa sarili ko?” ("why did it take no time // for you to leave // please, please, please wait a while // where did i go wrong? // can i make up for it?" + "that i loved you more than i love myself")

KIM DOYOUNG | MITSA [coming soon!]

(CANDLE WICK) SUMMARY | once a candle wick has died, no matter how much you try to light it up, it will never ignite again. the only thing you can do is light another candle and hope it doesn't die the same way. GENRE | actor! au, fake dating! au (kind of but not quite hehe), angst very angsty, romance, fluff, light ending <33 WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | “'pag wala na naman tayong nararamdaman // ay mabuti pang itigil na'ng kunwa-kunwari lang // 'pag wala na naman din itong pupuntahan // ay mabuti pang sabihin na'ng salamat // salamat” ("if we don't feel anything for each other anymore // it's better to just stop pretending // if this won't go anywhere // it's better to just say thank you, thank you")

TEN LEE | BRANCHES [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | things that are forbidden always taste the sweetest, always bring the most excitement. maybe that's why adam and eve couldn't help but eat the fruit from the garden of eden. and maybe that was also why you couldn't get enough of the boy you met at the masquerade party, and why you couldn't find it in you to let him go. GENRE | romeo and juliet! au, strangers to lovers! au, secret relationship (obviusly djf), romance, angst, suggestive, fluff, they do not die don’t worry WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "was a fire and you were gold // said we'd ignite until we're old + "you and i were meant to be // branches of different trees"

JUNG JAEHYUN | MAKE IT WITH YOU [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | jung jaehyun had always been a part of your life one way or another. from just someone you know as you pass by your high school corridors, to having the same mutual friend in college, and now possibly one of the closest people that you have in your life. he's always been there, and you didn't want him to step out of your life any time soon (and neither did he). GENRE | friends to lovers! au, mutual pining, romance, fluff, a dash of angst, suggestive WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "life can be short or long // love can be right or wrong // and if i chose the one i'd like to help me through // i'd like to make it with you"

DONG SICHENG | HUMMINGBIRD [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | summers at ten's lakehouse were always a mess. the moment he was taken in by the fresh winds of nature, he already started wondering how far south would things go. even more so when he finds that ten had invited a couple more familiar faces this year. one being far too familiar for his liking. or, wherein sicheng swears he's over you, but a humming in his head says otherwise. GENRE | exes to lovers! au (sorta, you’ll understand soon), summer! au, angst angst angst, romance, a couple of bad decisions WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "but one half of my senses // silently wishes // you were still with me" + "hummingbird // beating of your wings still echoes in my mind // hummingbird // somewhere in me singing // wish we could rewind"

KIM JUNGWOO | TALAARAWAN [coming soon!]

(DIARY) SUMMARY | jungwoo wasn't the same shy kid as he was in high school, a dreamer that could only imagine the what if's because taking the dive is terrifying. but now he's different, and he's determined to make the dreams that he wrote on the pages of his diary into reality. thank god that his high school reunion is coming soon. GENRE | some high school! au, the one that got away (oof), friends(ish?) to lovers! au, romance, humor, fluff WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | “bakit hindi ko mahinto // ang pagsara ng 'yong pinto? // pakiusap, sandali lang” + “pakibalik naman, konting minutong nakaraan // 'di magawang pakawalan // talaarawan” ("why can't i stop the closing of your door? // hold on, just a moment" + "can you bring back those small moments in the past? // can't find it in my to let them go // talaarawan")

WONG YUHKEI | FALL [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | the feeling for meeting your soulmate for the first time is once in a lifetime. but with lucas, you get to experience that every single day and you're sure that you could never get enough of it. GENRE | soulmate! au, FLUFF so much fluff, romance, lucas is a cassanova but only for u, humor WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "so why don't we fall in love tonight // 'cause everything else just feels so right // and i just want to hold you tight // so why don't we just fall"

MARK LEE | BIBINGKA

SUMMARY | legend says that if you finish all nine night masses of simbang gabi, your wish will be granted. mark only hopes that it’s actually true because that’s his last and only chance in getting you to notice him (but wait— shouldn’t his wish only come true after the nine days?) GENRE | christmas! au, crush! au, lots of fluff, mark is a piner, mark is also very awkward, some filipino references and customs WARNINGS | swearing, religious themes PROMPTS | “pagdating ng ama namin, ang oras huminto // nang magkahawak ang ating mga kamay // umawit mga ulap at sabay // nagsiawit ang mga anghel sa langit” + “pero mula nu'ng unang ama namin na // ang iyong kamay ay hinawakan // 'di mo na binitawan” (the our father came, and time stopped // when our hands touched // the skies sang and the angels in heaven sang together” + “but ever since the first our father, i held your hand // and you never let go of it”)

XIAO DEJUN | GODSENT [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | an unknown illness has struck earth, eating away at a person’s memories, emotions, and feelings until a hollow husk is left. dejun’s heart falls apart when it got to you, and t’s hard to keep himself together when your memories of him and you start to fall apart. the only hope he can keep holding onto is the light in your eyes. GENRE | established relationship! au, pure angst xiaojun i’m sorry, some romance and fluff into the mix WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "god sent those eyes // to get me through the night" + "when all the memories in my head subside // you'll remain here // you'll remain dear inside"

WONG KUNHANG | LIFETIME [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | due to a mistake that he made centuries ago, hendery is forced to live through lifetimes being intertwined with you— only to see you fall in love with someone other than him in each life. never yours, but he once was. GENRE | fantasy! au?, angst (obviously), maybe romance and fluff if you squint. WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "was there a lifetime waiting for us in a world where i was yours? // was it the wrong time, what if we tried giving in a little more? // i'd spend a lifetime waiting in vain just to go back to the way we were before"

HUANG RENJUN | ROOTS [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | huang renjun. the very name brings venom to your veins. you loathed him, and he detested you. it was a mutual understanding built up on hate that went on for over ten years of your lives, but no matter how much you wanted to avoid each other, fate would still manage to spiral the both of you together. until the moment that actually happens and somehow it just feels wrong. GENRE | enemies to lovers! au, angst, romance, fluff, a bunch of emotionaly dense motherfuckers WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "lives have grown roots around each other // we both know the truth is we don't really care // to find any room to doubt each other // we're tied by the roots of whatever we shared"

LEE JENO | PAGTINGIN [coming soon!]

(HOW YOU LOOK AT ME) SUMMARY | it is an unspoken, universal rule that you shouldn't catch feelings for one of your brother's best friends. but what were you supposed to do when cupid decides to shoot you down with all of his arrows? leaving you absolutely enamored for the smiley eyed boy that you see way too often for your heart's safety. GENRE | brothers best friend, brother! renjun, years and years of pining oh my gosh, romance, fluff, some angst WARNING | tbd PROMPTS | “dami pang gustong sabihin // ngunit 'wag na lang muna // hintayin na lang ang hanging // tangayin ang salita” + “'pag nilahad ang damdamin // sana 'di magbago ang pagtingin” ("there are a lot of things that i'd like to say // but i'll keep it to myself for now // i'll just wait for the wind to carry all my thoughts aloud" + "if i lay out my feelings for you // i hope you won't change how you look at me")

LEE DONGHYUCK | KATHANG ISIP

SUMMARY | musings of the mind and heart are always dangerous— it's easy to get carried away and get lost in your made up scenarios, rose colored wishes, and fleeting daydreams of what you thought would be. that is until reality hits you like the crashing of an ocean's waves. GENRE | roommates! au, college! au, flirty donghyuck, it’s bittersweet, angst, romance, fluff WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | “bawat kilig na nadarama sa tuwing hawak ang iyong kamay // ito'y maling akala, isang malaking sablay” + “pasensya ka na sa mga kathang isip kong ito // wari'y dala lang ng pagmamahal sa iyo” ("every thrill i felt while i was holding you hand // it was just a wrong assumption" + "i'm sorry for all these delusions of mine // i guess i was just carried away by my love for you")

NA JAEMIN | ARAW-ARAW

(EVERY DAY) SUMMARY | mahiwaga— someone or something that you’ll choose every single day no matter the circumstance. and for you, that was na jaemin. even if time decides to set you apart. GENRE | childhood friends to lovers! au, college! au, romance, slow-ish burn, fluff, humor, tiny angst, biology major jaemin and art major mc HEHE WARNINGS | excessive swearing, insecurities, some sex jokes LMAO, i project a lot in this i’m sorry PROMPTS | “kay tagal ko nang nag-iisa // and'yan ka lang pala // mahiwaga, pipiliin ka sa araw-araw // mahiwaga, ang nadarama sa 'yo'y malinaw” + “payapa sa yakap ng iyong hiwaga” (”been alone for so long // but you were just there all along // mahiwaga, i’ll choose you everyday // mahiwaga, what i feel for you is as clear as day + “at peace in the embrace of your magic”)

LIU YANGYANG | RIDE HOME [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | it’s hellweek and you’re hellbent on finishing all your deadlines this weekend. but yangyang had a different idea, and it took you two rest stops too many to agree that his was the better one. or, wherein the ride home didn’t actually feel like a ride home because you've been with him all this time. GENRE | roadtrip! au, best friends to lovers! au, there is only one bed (the works), fluff, romance, maybe some angst, humor WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "so i'm coming home to you, you // you're all i need, the very air i breathe // you are home" + "when i'm with you home is never too far"

OSAKI SHOTARO | MAYBE THE NIGHT [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | high school dances are always fun unless you get stood up by your date. lucky for you, you weren't the only unlucky soul tonight. GENRE | prom! au, high school! au, fluff, romance WARNINGS | tbd. PROMPTS | "moon has never glowed this color // hearts have never been this close // i have never been more certain // i will love you 'til we're old" + "maybe the night holds a little hope for us, dear"

JUNG SUNGCHAN | SA SUSUNOD NA HABANG-BUHAY [coming soon!]

(IN THE NEXT LIFE) SUMMARY | it's never too early to fall in love. but before falling, you must be a hundred percent sure or else you'd only end up crashing down.  GENRE | breakup! au, angst, but this is gonna end on a light note i swear WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | “hindi ba pangako mo nu'ng una // tiwala'y iingatan? // baka naman, sa susunod na habang-buhay, ha-ay na lang” + “ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin kong mahalin // sa susunod na habang-buhay” ("didn't you promise back then // to cherish our trust? // maybe only in our next life, then" + "i'd still choose to love you in my next life")

ZHONG CHENLE | SUNRISE [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | one summer vacation and you discover all new sides of your childhood best friend, zhong chenle. he’s still as hyperactive, competitive, and a little shit as he was before, but there were a few changes. maybe those changes changed something within you, as well. GENRE | childhood friends to lovers! au, summer vacation! au, fluff, romance, humor WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "pull the windows down, the night was young // so we'd hide under the sheets until the dawn" + "sunrise // i have run this far still i find you // sunrise // show my weary heart that a new day will soon arrive // new day will soon arrive"

PARK JISUNG | WAR [coming soon!]

SUMMARY | a few months before college and jisung feels like his time is running out. he wasn't ready to face the rest of the world yet when he had barely experienced anything at the age of eighteen— and neither were you. the both of you are determined to accomplish everything you've ever wanted to do within the remaining few months before finally parting ways. GENRE | coming of age! au, best friends to lovers! au, romance, very lighthearted, fluff, minimal angst WARNINGS | tbd PROMPTS | "i wanna go // and fight in this fight // i wanna be // be more than just a child" + "i wanna hear // the marching sound of love"

© hannie-dul-set, 2020.

[unholyplumpprincess]

Catch Me If You Can

Oh my gosh finally complete and am so happy how it came out. This was commissioned by @beanspeens of her and her partner’s OCs! The entirety of it is an Original world and with Original characters and was a delight to make.

Want to see your own OCs come to life? Hit up my DMs to get on my waitlist and check out my commission page in my bio!

Summary: Demon loves his tiny nonbinary human and wants to bone them in the woods for sport.

Fandom: Original World

Relationship: OCS: Mavrick/Frankie

Warnings: NSFT/R18+, CNC, sexual roleplay, light biting, light degradation, light pussy slapping (Ie no pain, not hard), monster fucking, knotted dick, breeding kink, two fuckers in love, Frankie is nonbinary and uses they/them!

Words: 6.6k

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Nikita.  

Nikita was a realm built separately from our own. A different dimension that somehow interconnected to our own through what was known as ‘rifts’, portal-like creations. No one knows where it began, or how it really began; Except for the god of it. Who, legend had it- had been snatched from the above world for the purpose of being a battery for souls originally. The once young teen had broken free, thus ascending to godhood, as far as the stories go for the god known present as: NG.  

Being a teen meant a rampant sense of imagination. The once near empty world being influenced into a more magical sense full of varied creatures and magics. The lands were vast and plush, full of foliage, great tall mountains, and having small towns here and there.  An  un-colonized world. From our world, we could describe this way of living almost as Medieval. Old fashioned trading systems, coin trades made of precious metals, and no modern-day technology.  

From Our world, people could fall through these rifts that seemed to be scattered throughout and randomly placed. It didn’t matter where or who, no one in particular, no one ever the same, just that you could fall through.   

To us, these people who fell through were regular humans. To Nikita? These were known as ‘Otherworlders’. Finding their way home seeming near impossible, with only a handful of people who could send them back from Nikita to back where they came. If you could find the ones who could send you back.  

~Rest under the cut~

However, most Otherworlders decide to stay for their own personal reasons. Never the same, yet always a tinge in their tone that implied life back home wasn’t so...welcoming as here. So, perhaps there was some common place for these people.  

Since staying in Nikita was such a common occurrence for Otherworlders, organizations were made specifically with volunteers of varying creatures to help these strangers settle down into Nikita with little to no confusion. Some ended up great friends, some ended up partners for life, and some just ended up parting ways without any semblance of bonding.  

Nikita was a world built around magic. Creatures from humans, to demons, to elves, to dragons, to even creatures akin to dogs or cats walking on two legs, to much more all alike and different survived here amongst each other. The magic ran deep throughout the lands and the people alike, abundant and plentiful much like the foliage that ran around the country.  

Not everyone could use magic, however. But certain species could wield it easier than others.  

For those of human nature, controlling and wielding such magics could prove to be difficult. Even if they could use just a bit, they still would not reach the levels that those of the dragon and demonic kind could reach. Those of which could wield it with ease, as if it ran through their very veins.  

The term and species of demons in Nikita are not the religious kind from what we know from our world, yet can be similar in appearance. They are very mortal, living a few centuries long and come in various subspecies. The term ‘demon’ is also granted to those who don’t fit into any other species available. Such as mixed breeds or creatures without names.  

The most abundant species of demon you could find here being the succubi, incubi, and omnubi. Looking almost human if it weren’t for their horns, varied colored skin, tails, teeth, and peculiar appetites.  

Other demons? Could appear more monstrous rather than humanoid.  

The demon of the hour that shall be heard of is named Mavrick, or rather preferring to be called Mav. And our Otherworlder of the hour, Frankie, whose paths will cross and go from snapping at each other, to traveling together, to friends with benefits, and finally to the lovers they currently are.  

Meeting Mavrick, you’d think maybe you’d get your head bitten off right away, or maybe you’d get annoyed enough at his cocky mouth to jab him in the gut. Standing 8’2”, he gives off the impression of an asshole right away. Preferring to strut his stuff with a cocky flair, insults and sarcasm dripping off his tongue with ease.  

Despite giving off the air of an asshole, he wasn’t all too bad- just more upfront about his emotions. Thus, can result in him also making call outs for people in public with shitty attitudes or clearly trying to find trouble; But when they turn back around full of fight and find themselves craning upwards to look up at the massive beast? They tend to drop that ‘ready to fight’ behavior quickly.  

Not only was Mav’s huge size a good way to keep people from talking more shit, but his appearance was that of the more monstrous breed. With black, medium sized horns atop his head quirked slightly backwards into points and thick enough to get your fingers around, his head was almost like an insect’s in its rounded diamond manner with a slight, short snout. Said snout also could split into a maw, with teeth constantly growing much like a rat’s and needed to be ground down for threat of being too sharp.  

A pair of goat-like ears, and pure white eyes that were almost cat-like in respect with a glow to them, a small white diamond pattern on his fur between his eyes and a half moon on his forehead. His face wasn’t too fluffy riddled with slick fur, but his body had to be the fluffiest, sans on his abdomen where there was thinner fur from his nervous habit of scratching.  

His body is built with messy fur, slim without much muscle at all and predominantly black fur on his body. White, slick fur started at his biceps, working down into huge monstrous hands that looked more like full fingered claws than anything. His long legs worked their ways into black hooves, his tail long and prehensile with a spear tip, and wings on his back of white and black with little white diamonds hanging from the curled upper tips.  

His voice is low, almost its own growling tone in a way with a slight twang to his accent that he adopted from his partner, Frankie’s, manner of speech. He even tended to make noises that were more animalistic ranging from growls to purrs to squeaking. His mannerisms more animalistic in terms of cocking his head when an odd noise arose to bristling if something upset him. Yet, walking on all four legs tended to frighten people, so he kept to two.  

Mav is from Nikita, born and raised. He’s been self-reliant near all his life, coming from just south of here where nonhumans like himself are chased out or enslaved. Learning to do things himself, from building buildings to preparing food, to learning how to protect himself since such a young age. Fear and distrust of humans had built into a survival tactic, until he’d met Frankie.  

Frankie, in turn, was a human. An Otherworlder, in fact. They come across, at first, as quiet and cautious, but once you got to know them, they’d open up into a fun-loving goofball who cracked jokes. And would rather finger gun their way out of an argument rather than pick a fight.  

From Our world, they’re used to doing everything themself. From their home life to past relationships, they had been raised to be a homegrown people pleaser. Frankie was kicked out of their home at 16 when they’d come out to their family, and then lived with a friend’s family until they were 18 where their boyfriend at the time aided in getting them an apartment together.  

And that’s where their story got worse.  

That, thankfully now ex, boyfriend had seen them as ‘woman lite’ and not nonbinary. And that they were someone, regardless of Frankie’s actual future plans, who would leave him hot dinner on the table, get pregnant, and take care of the children. They broke up a few years later from him at 21, and at 22 fell through a portal to Nikita.  

Possibly a blessing in disguise, despite their  roughed-up  palms.  

They’d met Mav quickly after, who didn’t quite trust humans so Frankie was someone to bristle around and puff himself up to seem bigger. It took some time as they traveled together and Frankie deciding to stay, growing used to this new way of life before they’d found their relationship going from traveling partners, to friends with benefits. And after that, came a slow romance budding on both ends until they became happy partners.  

In terms of appearance, Frankie was vastly different from Mav.  

Standing at 5’9”, they had a sweeter appearance. With dark auburn short hair in a messy little wavy undercut, their facial shape rounded and softer. Their eyes are hooded with thick lashes, a golden-brown shade of color to their iris. Their eyebrows are thick but well kept, their button nose dotted in freckles, and their lips softly shape and plump. Freckles dot all across their warm brown skin, including all over their face with more prominent areas being their nose, cheeks, and forehead.  

Their body type is pretty average, with C cup breasts and a slight amount of chub on their tummy. Their long legs were strong, and their hips rounding out a bit. Their most prominent feature being their ass, possibly the definition of a bubble butt and most certainly joked about in their relationship. Body hair they kept; Sans underarms due to the scratchy feeling.  

As far as their relationship? It had grown. From when they had been traveling companions, to finding company within each other sexually, to now romantically. Long since gone are the days where they traveled the country together- Mav had built a cabin he’d lived in for years and now shared with Frankie.  

Said home was a homestead- more of a farm that was surrounded by lush tall mountains and vast lands. It was built to look like a beautiful, moderate sized log cabin with a front and back porch. It looked almost abandoned on the outside, like a regular old house until you walked inside.  

Outside of it, however, they were very secluded, to the point it took two hours by foot to get to the nearest town. Due to this, they live their lives more rurally. With a farm full of livestock from chickens to cows, to plumbing so they could have running water, to a large garden that was lovingly taken care of.   

Well. If you’d count Frankie pulverizing weeds and yelling things akin to, “You think you’re so tough, huh? Hurting my poor  lil ’ innocent tomatoes? Fuck off and die you green heathens!” a ‘lovingly taken care of garden’. Then yes.  

Yes, it was.  

When you walked inside, it felt like a home. The vibes given off are more of an elderly couple than it is for a human and a demon with a knack for creating and hoarding objects. Mav created most of the décor and furniture by hand, the table comfortably seating them both and made of local wood from the vast woods surrounding them. Bones made into wind chimes outside, wreaths handmade with flowers and vines collected from around their property and garden, chairs with extra padding from shearing the sheep to take their wool.   

Mav also had a tendency to collect things from years of travel, but anything that wasn’t hung up inside was out in a large, old shed. Probably never to be touched again.  

Whoops.  

Their home wasn’t messy, kept tidy inside by both of them working together. The bed sheets were a mess in the morning, but nothing to really do about that. Unless, of course, it was winter; Where Mav would shed absolutely everywhere and the sheets needed to be washed due to it. Lots of dusting and lots of grooming going on with a brush and Frankie’s hands. Always followed by the comments of, “You shed so much we could make thirty sweaters out of it!”   

Followed by Mav’s insistent purring at the grooming and absolutely tuning out the comment every time without another thought.  

Together, they loved as if they were soulmates. Hard and loyally.  

Buuuuut that didn’t stop them from teasing each other. From Frankie reminding him his ‘chew toys’ were in the corner when Mav was gnawing on his own hands as if THAT would stop his teeth’s insistent growing. To Mav putting things up high or using Frankie’s head as an arm rest.  

But, on the other side, when Frankie is feeling upset or down, Mav is quick on his toes. Nuzzling their face, pressing his snout in little kisses to their face until they’re beaming and having to stim out their emotions by finding his thicker fur to stroke and lightly pull. Or when Mav is upset, distancing himself and trying to contain it in his body, Frankie is quick to get him settled into bed or on the couch. Clambering into his lap, grabbing his snout in both hands and acting like a sports announcer hyping him up with, “You’re cute! You’re good! You’re  gonna  be okay!” Until his face is embarrassed and his tail is thumping on the ground like a pleased dog’s.  

However, though that normally resulted in successfully perking up Mav, he’d still move to roll them over and try to pretend smother them with a pillow. Or simply lying on top of them while they whined about how heavy and  warm  he was followed by, “You can’t hide from your feelings, Mav, you big softie!!! You have feelings too!!!”  

Mav was also the cook in their relationship- Frankie is scared to cook, a fear from past bad experiences and life back on Our world being...hardened. However, they were learning to do certain tasks, taking great love in helping out in the kitchen.  

Normally resulting in powder ending up on their clothing and looking to Mav with a big smile of pride at their own accomplishments and Mav’s heart damn near pounding out of his chest. Often having to look away and huff out a ‘Good job, sweetheart’ just so he wouldn’t be enamored with them further.  

Which normally failed after he heard their stimming following immediately of the ‘pat pat  pat ’ of their hands on the counter and Mav would be weak in the knees with his love for them. His tail swishing in happiness was the  giveaway  always, gathering Frankie’s attention to switch their patting to winding their arms around him so they could stroke at his fur while he cooked the rest of dinner.  

Typically, this led to something a little more ‘hot and heavy’ after dinner. Where the two would be filled with those specifics that had butterflies in both of their stomachs.   

Both their sexual appetites were in sync in a lot of manners. They went well together in terms of sexual preferences, kinks, and libido. Sex was quite common between them, as they were friends with benefits way before they were even partners. Just, now, the intimacy between them was stronger. To the point back when they were just friends with benefits, Mav could be crueler during scenes and ride through it without fault, but now tended to have to pause a scene to check on Frankie and calm his own worries about hurting them too much. Even having to end a scene too early sometimes.  

Mav was a sadist by heart, his ultimate goal being to make someone cry from ‘too much’ or 'too little’. Or even by roughing them up on purpose. He had the teeth and claws for it, he had the snarl for it, he had the hunting instinct for it, and most importantly: He had the sense for it. To make safe words and safe signals for any sort of scenario just to be safe. Especially for Frankie, who, well, was human and much...fleshier and softer than his teeth and claws.  

Frankie, on the other hand, would much prefer to be belly up and whine for him. They were usually obedient for Mav, being a good toy for whatever he had planned for them that night. But, sometimes, bratty nature just...slipped out. Liking to tease, poke, prod, or add another element to a specific scene they were trying to play out. Unfortunately, pain wasn’t big on their list of wants, but some was alright and even wanted. Small nicks and bites here and there LOUDLY being welcomed.  

This led to them talking about scenes as well. Mav was more open about discussing kinks and ideas, while Frankie tended to be flustered and turning red in the face when specific things were brought up. However, they could communicate very well with Frankie being honest about their ‘yes’ and no’s when it came to certain things.  

Like now, they’re sitting at their little handmade table. The birch wood having their respective cups on top with Frankie tapping their fingers on the wood idly. Their eyes are looking to the side, their face red all the way to their ears as they nod quietly to Mav asking if they were up for something a little...rougher today.  

Mav doesn’t dodge around the subject, going straight into it once he can smell their pheromones have picked up.  But,  it does make his speech have a slight growl to it instead as he speaks slowly for them to hear clearly what he’s asking of them. “I want to try a roleplay- you're very fond of being my prey, right?”  

He pauses there, waiting for Frankie’s reply which is a quick nod of their head and one of their hands moving to cup their own warmed cheek in embarrassment. “Y-yeah.”  

Mav’s maw near about salivates at the sight of them already squirming, but he coolly continues, “I want you to run. Run fast, run hard, as if I’m coming after you to eat you alive.” His tone is a low growl when he speaks, but his body language is still comforting for them. Moving so he can rest a large, clawed hand on the table where Frankie’s fingers have stopped tapping, their hand just resting there. Gently curling one claw around their hand that they quickly latch onto with a fleeting glance towards Mav’s predatory look.  

“I can run.” Frankie says quietly, knowing Mav is waiting for their response. They swallow at the idea, rubbing their thighs together and knitting their brows as their cogs turn, wondering what he was leading up to.  

“I want you to pretend you don’t know me,” Mav says slowly, watching Frankie perk up at that in curiosity, turning their gaze to him with less embarrassment and more interest. “That I’m some big scary monster and my sole goal of the night is to breed you and take you as my mate.”  

“Oh.” Frankie breathes, red creeping onto their ears all the way down to their chest.  

“Oh?”  

“Good ’oh’! Good ‘oh’.” Frankie clarifies, squeezing his claw softly as their gaze settles onto the wall beside him instead.   

There’s a moment of quiet as Mav moves his hand, letting his palm lie up on the table so Frankie can rest their softer, fleshy hand over top. They’re worrying their bottom lip with a gentle bite, clearly mulling it over, but oh- oh their scent-  

Mav is practically drooling to get his tongue buried in their cunt. He almost changes his mind, almost asks them to wait right there and be good so he could just bury his head between their thighs and make Frankie his t--  

“Do I get a head start?” Frankie cuts into his thoughts, glancing coyly under their lashes at him in a way that’s almost challenging. As if they COULD outrun him.  

Mav’s maw near splits into a wide grin. “You will surely need it, slow poke.”  

--  

Frankie thinks, for once, they regret their choice of comfortable wear for the evening. They had asked Mav if they could change, but he’d just started counting down as if he hadn’t heard them despite the perk of his ears.  

Asshole.  

They’d been quick to bolt out of the house from the backdoor, zipping over the gates and hearing the curious bleating of their sheep and startled cooing of their chickens. They pay no mind as they hurdle over the tall fences, making their way into the thick brush of woods nearby.  

This is the scent Mav follows, and Frankie knows he’s hot on their heels. At least they wore their sneakers today- but maybe jeans and a sweater weren’t the best of options for physically exerting activities. Like running.  

God, they hated running.  

They’re zipping through trees as best as they can, getting it out of their mind that Mav is chasing them. Scene- right, it’s a scene. They don’t know it’s Mav chasing them, but a. ..a  creature- a monster of some sort who...who was only there to breed them, to take them as a mate-  

Frankie finds their breath quivering and legs pounding harder as they leap over a fallen log, trying to twist and turn and throw their scent of, but they know better. They know better than to even stop for a second to catch their breath.  

They know they won’t outrun him.  

For their own pride, however, they count themself lucky that they even make it to twenty minutes before they hear the quickened thumping of what sounds like four feet. Instincts kick in as Frankie squeaks when a shadow darts to their left, quickly running towards the right like frightened prey. They’d been so careful to avoid being out in the open, all clearings avoided, sticking to the trees, trying to make it more difficult.  

They end up being pounced on by a fluffy, lengthy body. Frankie lets out a scream as they go toppling to the ground flat on their abdomen in a soft patch of dirt. The trees look massive as they extend towards the sky in their eye line, the area looking as if it had been stomped down a good twelve feet across towards the foliage and trees. Keeping the land flat and thankfully not muddy.  

Before they could survey their surroundings more, Frankie is kicking into high gear. Squirming beneath the large body atop them, managing to get out for just a moment to try and scramble to their feet. Frankie hears a snarl before their ankle is snatched, toppling them once more as they’re dragged backwards with a cry.  

They quickly find themself on their back, panting hard as their lungs and legs ache equally. They see a maw split open above them to reveal sharp teeth, freshly filed. Glowing eyes are narrowed and a low snarl bubbling above them.   

“You’re wet.” Comes the snarling, low voice above them. Frankie whimpers out in embarrassment, moving their hands to maybe push at the fluffy chest above them, but their wrists are snatched in large claws. Holding them firmly above their head as pressure rests between their legs. “Oh? You like that, too, pet? Filthy little thing.”  

Mav’s voice sounds...different. More possessive, a low growl above them that leaves Frankie’s heart pounding. Something Mav can most certainly hear. He gives them a moment, waiting for them to speak before proceeding when they look just as into it as he is. “I think you’ll hold my pups nicely; Don’t you think? You smell fertile, little one. Like a bitch in heat.”   

That does it, a low whine exhaling from Frankie’s lungs. They squirm, pulling at their wrists with a small cry of, “N-no!” Despite the fact they most certainly lifted their hips up in the hope of finding his sheath to urge him on.  

Maybe they weren’t so good at this ‘pretend to not want it’ thing.  

Mav seems to like their response regardless, snarling low and deep in his chest as he brings his teeth to their throat. His maw is held open, as if threatening to bite down on their neck like a naughty kitten. Frankie’s breath is panicked as they feel his hot breath fanning over them, saliva on his teeth making the situation seem more realistic of ‘fuck or die’.  

Immediately, Frankie holds still, trembling and feeling their heart racing. They felt like a rabbit in the jaws of a wolf. Their mind races equally, caught between sub space and playing into the scene, or feeling the mild need to make a joke about how ‘wet’ Mav’s mouth was.  

Thankfully, the former seems to take over than their delight in bullying him, because a sharp whimper exhales from their nose.  

When Mav pulls back to look at them, his eyes are a terrifying glow of want. They feel him rut between their legs briefly, able to glance down and see that fluffy little sheath hidden within his fur start to peek out. Only an inch of his cock is peeking right now, with a tapered head making its appearance with a ribbed texture starting just underneath in a beautiful black and white marbling.  

They know in all its glory, he’s big. Nine inches in total, with thick ribbing nearly all the way down to his knot, and a wonderful thickness that always was nearing on ‘too much’. Which was quickly ‘too much’ once they got to his knot. With a thickness maybe the size of a baseball or bigger, it always took prep to get them to be able to take it. Most times, if they didn’t have the toys or patience, Frankie would end up just having the knot outside of them and Mav filthy snarling in their ear about how he wanted to breed them properly.  

The idea always sent a thrill down their spine.  

A yelp exits their lips when they’re suddenly being tugged up by the underside of their thighs, hoisting their hips into the air so Mav can grab their ass, leaving their upper back and head on the ground with their arms lying flat to keep themself up. They watch him bury his face between their thighs, his short snout nosing at the front of their jeans where a wet spot was making itself seen even in the light of the bright, full moon and the darkness of the world.  

“Mmmm, a treat just for me, little thing? You like being my toy?”  

“No! Let me go!”  

Mav’s eyes flickering up to their face is almost uncertain at first. But seeing that Frankie isn’t using any signals or special words, he lets that momentary uncertainty fade into the feeling of possession. He snarls back at them, nosing harder at their cunt to get further acquainted with their scent, near drowning in it. “I don’t think you’re callin’ the shots here, sweetheart.”  

Mav at least doesn’t tear their clothing apart, but he keeps them in that position as he unbuttons and unzips their pants. There’s a hurry to get their shoes off, yanking their pants and underwear with them and leaving them in just their sweater and socks. His clawed hands cup their ass, still keeping them afloat with himself on his knees near bent in half to reach them with his snout pressing to their cunt.  

He nuzzles his way against their wet folds, feeling over the curly hair they had resting there and just how delicious they smelled. He groans against them, letting his long tongue loll out to swipe up them from hole to clit, letting his maw hang open so he could scent them better. It’s when he growls does Frankie’s hips twitch up, having been so good at holding their  self-control  up until then.  

“Look at how wet your little cunt is, sweet thing.” He growls against them, running his tongue over their clit in a long, slow slick just to make their breath catch. “Mmh. What a pathetic, eager breeding bitch you are, dontcha’ think?”  

He doesn’t give them a chance to answer, his claws pressing to their skin to hold them in place. His snout noses at them, curling his tongue deep into their cunt with his snout pressed to their clit, making sure to nuzzle and apply pressure with the curling of his tongue following the motions. Frankie can’t help the noises they make, looking so beautiful under him with their body folded in half, their sweater dropping to just below their chest and the softness of their abdomen rolled and squished.  

Mav can only groan at the sight of them, of how their lips part and their head tilts to the side. They keep great in character with little whimpers of ‘no’ under their breath, fizzling out to moans when his curls his tongue upwards, sliding it out of them to get his tongue on their clit. Just to watch their hips try to buck upwards, trying to get more pressure like they wanted. By now his cock is slid entirely out of its sheath, hanging wet and heavy between his legs.  

He’s a bit disappointed he didn’t think to bring a toy with him. Stretch them out in the middle of the woods just so he could knot them properly.  

As soon as Mav hears their breath quickening, he pulls back. Delighting in how Frankie’s fist pounds on the ground with a cry out of dismay of, “Please!”  

“Aw, already begging? What happened to ‘no’?” Mav teases back, holding them up with one hand under their ass, his other coming up so he could run a knuckle over their hole up to their clit in a back and forth fashion.  

Fingering was a no-go situation due to how he could cut them, but he could tease them with these little touches. Delighting in how their breath catches and how Frankie’s hips try to buck upwards for more pressure. Eyebrows knitted and frustration written across their features.  

With their red face, Frankie whimpers and turn their head again. Stubbornly choking out, “Please let me go-” With their voice betraying the wobble of how badly they wanted him. Poor thing.  

“Oh? Let you go? No, no, no, I don’t think that’s what you want me to do, baby doll. Look at you, so pliant and open for me, so eager to cum on my tongue. What if someone heard you, hm? Came by and fucked that pretty little mouth to keep you quiet instead?” Mav teases them, leaning down to lap at their clit a few times, his knuckle resting just underneath to keep it pronounced and feeling the harsh contractions of their cunt.  

Once again, he stops when he hears their crying getting louder. Pulling away with a string of saliva connecting him to their pretty little pussy, all reddened and flushed. A perfect little treat for him.  

“Just admit you want me to breed you. I want to hear you say it nice and clear. Politely, if you would please. Then maybe you can cum.” Mav croons out, his tone a bit cocky, moving his hand from their pussy to give it a flat palmed smack. Not hard enough to hurt or even hard enough to make a sound, but enough to send a reverberation up their clit and startle them into yelping.  

“I-I-..”  

“You?”  

“I...” Frankie starts, their breath shaking as they feel Mav lowering them back to the ground. They can’t find the fight in them, though they do consider what he would do if they were to get back up and try and run for it. They wouldn’t get far, and judging by his mood already, they’d probably end up edged with no hope of orgasm in sight.  

They swallow thickly, feeling his intense stare and unable to look up at him. They roll their hips into nothing, aching for his tongue to be back on them. But after a few moments of his reassuring hands gently grabbing their thighs and stroking ever so subtly with his thumbs to comfort them, they manage to get it out with their face burning red, “Iwantyoutobreedme -- please?”  

“Didn’t quite catch that, little one.” Mav teases, a grin stretching across his maw just to watch Frankie’s head thunk back into the dirt with a groan. He has a feeling they almost break the scene just to kick him, but they manage again to speak in their prettiest of tones.  

“I want you t ...to breed me, please. Please cum inside me, please?”   

Oh...Oh that was...a lot better than he thought that was going to sound.  

A groan leaves Mav’s throat as he pulls them by their hips closer, pulling their legs up and around him so his cock could rest over their cunt. Showing and displaying his length and girth up their abdomen just to remind them of his size. “See? Was that so hard to say? And here you were acting like you didn’t want this. Knew you did, could smell it on you all the way from your little home. Poor thing, hope no one is missing you right now.”  

He  ruts  against them a few times just so pre-cum will drool onto their exposed flesh from their lifted sweater. He’s almost tempted to fuck their cute little freckled face and make them choke, but instead he leans back on his knees, wrapping his large hand around his cock and idly stroking. “Finger yourself. Stretch yourself open for me, sweetheart- and don’t you fucking cum, you understand?”  

Frankie is quick to nod desperately, pulling their fingers to their mouth to suckle on before reaching down to trace their engorged clit briefly. They quickly move two fingers inside of themself, awkwardly lifting their hips up and huffing when they catch him jerking himself off at the same time they move their fingers.  

Something oddly sensual about the way he watches them, his breaths shadowed with a hint of a huffing growl with each stroke of his hand. His eyes glow brightly in the darkness around them, his tail swishing in that little way he did whenever he was watching them and lost in thought. Frankie can’t help but smile, accidentally breaking the scene when Mav can’t help but smile back.  

They sink three fingers in and have a hard time smiling as their mouth forms a gasp, letting their head fall back and instantly feeling Mav covering their body with his own. His fur brushes against their arm as they finger their own cunt, their free hand coming up to lace at the fur at the back of his neck and dragging his mouth to the crook of their neck. He makes this little crooning sound, nosing his way there until his teeth scrape and make Frankie’s breath catch.  

“We’ll try this scene another time.” Mav assures them in their ear so their anxiety doesn’t flare up, letting his tongue flick over their ear just to hear them squeak and jump.  

“Don’t lick me when I’m trying to finger myself!” They choke out with a shaky laugh of pleasure, working a fourth finger in with a low whine to follow.  

“At least I didn’t shove my tongue in your ear.”  

“Mav I will make you cum on the dirt if you do.”  

“Aw, come on!”  

The whine he lets out makes Frankie laugh, the tension easing between them as their fingers slip from their body. They let out a gasp when they’re rolled onto all fours, quickly taking the hint and crossing their arms under their head as a makeshift pillow to brace for the impact. Instead, they feel his snout pressing at their exposed cunt again, twisting his tongue inside of them and curling it over itself to keep them stretched.  

It doesn’t help when one of his hands moves so his knuckle can rub their clit. Making their thighs shake with an impending orgasm. “M-Mav-” They whimper out, curling their toes and feeling the wave start to hit-  

And the little bastard stops again. Pulling his hand and mouth away and making Frankie cry out in frustration with tears pricking their eyes. They go to lift their head to maybe snap at him, but quickly find his clawed hand holding them down by the back of their neck. “Don’t move or you won’t cum the rest of the night, sweetheart. With the way you keep whinin’? Almost addicted to it by now.”  

Thankfully, he spares them any reply when they feel the tapered, rounded head of his cock pressing to their stretched, wet hole. The pressure stretching their walls and making them groan into their cloth covered arms.  

Mav’s hips are quick to slam into them, keeping one hand on the back of their neck, the other grabbing their hip to yank them back into each thrust. With all the teasing and the build up, Frankie’s already on the edge, and it sounds like Mav isn’t too far behind.  

His body covers their back when he leans over them, his hand moving from their neck to the ground to curl his claws into the dirt. His other hand matching as he fucks hard into them. His grunts and growls by their ear overpowering the sound of their own cries. A sob wracks through Frankie’s chest, tilting their hips up and digging their sock-clad feet into the ground to get him to keep hitting that spot-  

“I’m gonnacumI’mgonnacum-” Frankie sobs out, feeling the width of his knot slamming against the rim of their pussy again and again. They feel one of his arms go around their waist to lock them where they were trying so hard to stay, fucking into them until they’re burying their mouth against their arm with a cry.  

“Cum, baby, go ahead, want to f-feel you cum.  Gonna  cum inside you, baby, that okay?” He’s gasping against their shoulder now. And that’s the final straw as Frankie mumbles ’yes  yes  yes’ under their breath as they cum. Their legs tremble, feeling wetness creeping down their legs and onto the dirt as tears prick their eyes from the intensity.  

Mav isn’t too far behind, his speech starting to turn into mumbles. His hand against their abdomen and pressing as if he could feel himself inside of them, desperately mumbling into their skin, “ Gonna  breed you, sweetheart.  Gonna  fill your sweet pussy with my cum.  Gonna  keep fucking you till it  takes -”  

Before he’s cumming with desperate pounds of his hips and low, huffing snarls from his throat. Trying so hard to fuck against them to get his knot in to no avail, much to whining on his part. Yet, he still does stay still inside them as if he did  knot  them, rolling his hips and pressing his snout to their neck affectionately.  

It’s after five minutes does Frankie speak, their voice hoarse and whiny. “I’m hungryyyy.”  

“Mmmh. Two more minutes. You’re still tight.”  

“If I don’t get a sandwich within five, I am gonna kill you.”  

“Hot. Maybe I’ll wait seven, then.”  

Frankie groans, splatting under him as their knees give out. Hearing him laugh as he helps pull them upwards. Carefully and slowly pulling out and hissing at the sight of his cum spilling out of them, going so far as to pull one of their cheeks apart to let it drip onto the ground.  

“Mav. Hungry.”  

“Damn, me too. Look atcha, sweetheart.”   

“Mav!!!”  

That’s when he laughs, patting their ass affectionately and offers to carry them home as a fair trade for them not to kill him. Which is agreed to, with his partner flat on their back and making grabby fingers up at him until he picks up all their clothes and scoops them up in turn. Holding them bridal style in his arms as Frankie starts to giggle out. “Is your dick still out?”  

“At least I’m not the one who spilled cum on the dirt.”  

“It was from YOUR dick!!!!”  

With the fading argument left humming in the woods with the sound of laughter following in their wake.  

No, maybe they didn’t get the scene right this time, but neither would have had it any other way.  

[bear0298]

Hayaan Mo Sila

Akko was down in the dumps for the second time this year. All she wanted to do now was just lay on the ground and wait for it to swallow her whole. Getting played by two different girls was not on her to do list nor on her bucket list. One cheated on her and the other was just a damn attention seeker just as she thought.

Amanda, who happened to be one of her best friends, invited her on a night out. A night full of drinking, dancing and partying. It didn’t really change much: they did this almost every weekend. As if this would help her feel better knowing how these few months sucked for her since she keeps failing at romance.

Arriving at the club, Akko looked around and saw the table Amanda got for them. As expected it was packed, but Amanda did say this was one of their special nights, so she’d already reserved a VIP table for her group. Her friends had always been supportive and giving her advice. One piece of advice was, “Ang problema sa babae dapat 'di iniinda, hayaan mo sila ang maghabol sayo diba?” [1] Well to tell the truth it is always Akko who has been chasing them.

And whenever she got hurt her friends always tried to cheer her up.

The first person to break her heart this year was Hannah England, a well known rich kid from her school and also one of the ladies who actually had top grades—unlike Akko, who was a straight C student, school klutz, and prankster along with Amanda. Hannah caught Akko’s attention like a deer in the headlights. As Akko was scrolling about in her instagram she stumbled across Hannah’s profile. Barely even knowing her and Hannah not knowing who Akko was or is at this point made her a pretty good candidate to date.

Akko started to make moves on her by sliding into her dms. Akko being Akko commented on Hannah’s story with, “Yo, Pakitulong naman sa assignment natin sa biology. Yung nasa page 236.”[2]

The second girl Akko had eyes on was Diana Cavendish: school princess and head of the student body representatives. This time what Akko would have thought to be the one ended up being a snake and attention whore who broke her heart.

Diana you’ve been sheltered in your entire life you forgot how to treat people.

Only ever contacting or talking to Akko when she needed something. Or when she was down and needed a pick me up, Akko was the one running to her and trying to make her feel better. How about that time when she needed a ride home because no one from her family would pick her up? Akko was the one telling her she could stay at her place.

The perks of dorm life and being an international student.

She took advantage of Akko’s kindness, and in the end Akko got hurt by just being told they were just friends.

Friends don’t know how their friends taste, Cavendish.

That is how she ended up in a situation at the club in a VIP table, surrounded by her good friends and really really hot girls. If she were to look on her left she’d see a group staring at them and another one on her right. God~ how she wanted to just stay in bed and eat all the ice cream she stocked on her fridge but sadly her friends knew her very well.

“Akko, masadong ka nagiisip, erp?”[3] Amanda, who is now on her sixth shot of tequila asked Akko as if it weren’t the most obvious thing in the world. “Sige na~ Kagari. Let loose naman just for tonight.”

A solemn look on her face, Akko raised her eyebrows to the school athlete. “Amanda, pre. I want a break from everything. Like, ano naman to pre pinaglaruan na naman ako. Nasaktan naman ako dahil sa pag-ibig.”[4]

Handing her a shot, Sucy looked at the mess of a woman that she is. “Look, we’ve told you multiple times na bad news yun sila. Alams na din yun ni Amanda. Erp, Wag ka kasing mag habol masasaktan kalang.”[5]

Lotte jumped into this conversation by adding, “It would have been better if you heeded our advice na hayaan mo na yun. ‘Yan tuloy sinaktan kanaman nila. Dida sabi namin dahan dahan lang sa pag-ibig?”[6]

Nodding in agreement, Akko slouched down on her chair and sighed. “What’s the occasion for tonight anyway? I mean lage nalang tayo ng dito sa club nato.”[7]

With a grin on her face an over enthusiastic Amanda raised her voice to say, “SEMBREAK NA MGA PRE!!”[8]

Akko was such a forgetful idiot that she forgot about everything really. Only wanting to get over her situation and not caring about everything else after that, her mind went blank. It was after all this semester that she’d actually managed to get good grades since her studying paid off. Last week on her exams she scored a B. All of that was because of the Cavendish girl who Akko had eyes on. Before Akko found out that she was just a replacement.

Not to be a let down to her friends, Akko took a shot of what was being offered. A beer for her just like how she likes it cold and bitter. That was she's been drinking and what she was currently sipping through.

Constanze who was beside Akko patted the poor girl in her back and signed to her, Don’t worry, everything's gonna be alright. We’re here for you at kung mag mahal kaman ulit dahan dahan lang. [9]

Jasminka stood up and sat next to Amanda. She poured a shot, passed it to Akko, and looked at her. “Lighten up, there’s a lot of fish in the sea. Marami kapang choices out there so don’t worry too much. Daming babae naghahabol sayo.”[10]

“Just this once listen to us,” Lotte who has been watching all of this unfold before her own eyes, ”Tumawa ka nalang lesson learned nayun. Kung masasaktan kaman ulit move on lang.”[11]

A small smile formed on Akko’s face. Her friends are right. Thinking to herself, whatever as if it deserving sila sa akin. Marami pa akong bigas kakainin at marimi paring babae out there. [12]

“Alright! For tonight mag party tayo at mag enjoy nalang tayo for the sake of our well being. Game?”[13] Pumping her fist into the air Akko took a shot of tequila, forgetting her beer for this one time.

“GAME!” Everyone shouted in unison, just like how they always do when they are all trying to get blasted.

Notes:

[1]Don’t let girl problems get to you, let them be and let them be the one to chase you.”

[2]“Hey, can you help me in our assignment in Biology page 236.”

[3]“Akko you’re thinking too much, bro”

[4] “Amanda, bro. I want a break from everything. Like, I keep getting played. I got hurt ‘cause of this thing called love.”

[5]“We’ve told you multiple times that those girls are bad news. Even Amanda knows that. Don’t chase them ‘cause you’ll get hurt.”

[6]“It would have been better if you heeded our advice that let them be. There we go they hurt you. Didn’t we tell you to slow down?”

[7]“What’s the occasion for tonight anyway? I mean we always end up in this club.”

[8]“SEMBREAK NA MGA PRE!!” = is the break starting december 15 - January 6

[9] Don’t worry, everything's gonna be alright. We’re here for you if you’re gonna fall in love slow down and think.

[10]Lighten up, there’s a lot of fish in the sea. You have a lot of choices out there so don’t worry too much. There are a lot of women chasing after you.

[11]Just laugh and that’s lesson learned. If you’re gonna get hurt just move on.

[12]Whatever as if those girls deserved me. There are a lot of things I have to do and there are a lot of girls out there.

[13]So for tonight let’s just party and enjoy for the sake of our well being.

[mornington-the-crescent]

D&D Stuff

I have some friend who have expressed an interest in playing D&D, but none of them have ever played before. Having played off and on for 20+ years, it therefore fell to me to be the DM for their first experience. But, none of them really know what they’re doing, so I took the liberty of rolling up and writing up some characters for them. I tried to keep things simple, but novel, with potential for interesting interactions. So, with no further ado...

(All art by @birdy-the-artist, whom you should follow and commission)

Darguz Blackfist

Half-Orc Monk (LN)

Life for a young half-orc can be difficult, even somewhere like Morgyr. It's not uncommon for lower-class children to turn to crime and gangs, and Darguz Blackfist was no exception to that rule. He fell in with a rough crowd at the tender young age of eight, running errands, acting as lookout, working to prove himself to the gang. As he got older, bigger, stronger, he rose through the ranks quickly; by the time he was 14, he had gained enough renown in the gang to be allowed on a highway mission, ambushing travelers headed through the Morgyr Pass. His first such mission had him once again more in a lookout role, but this was big-time stuff. So when he saw the lone human woman traveling on the road, with no arms or armor in sight, this was sure to be easy pickings. It proved to be anything but. This lone human easily dispatched of the other members of the gang in a flurry of fists and feet and elbows, knocking out four full-grown half-orcs, and one pureblood, without even breaking a sweat. As someone who had grown up thinking that strength was the only path to success and power and prestige, Darguz was mystified by this. What did this human know that the orcs did not? If he had that power, he would be in charge; nobody would ever question him again. He had to learn...

He followed her for two days, before finally approaching her in the market square. The human was wryly amused by him- she had taken care of his companions with little difficulty; what hope did he, a half-blood runt on his own have? Best to run along before he got hurt. But Darguz instead asked her to teach him. He had seen what she could do, and he wanted to learn to do what she did. She considered, then refused. Darguz was undeterred, asking again and again and again over several days, following where she went, finding her whenever he could. Finally, she confronted him. She would not teach him, she said; it was clear that he only wanted strength to control others, to have mastery over others, and that that would be an abuse of that strength. True strength, she said, is only used for self-control, and to achieve mastery over oneself. Darguz did not understand what this meant, but agreed to submit to her training, her definition of strength, regardless. He would learn her strength, and then use it however he wanted.

They say that when a man long wears a mask, his face will grow to fit it. And the more time Darguz spent among the monks of The Forward Path, the more he found himself understanding and internalizing their teachings. He used the strength he found to quiet the rage inside of him, to still the fire that burned hot in his Orcish blood, to find peace in a mind at war with itself. And he would have stayed in the monestary his whole life, had not a letter come for him, from his first master, the woman who saw the spark in him twelve long years ago. She wished to speak with him on a matter of great importance, and needed him to make a pilgrimage to the Forward Path monastery far in the south. Fortunately for him, there was a caravan passing nearby on its way to Kingsforge; he would have to travel on foot the rest of the way, but it would get him close to his destination...

Rosleigh Winterthistle

Halfling Ranger (NG)

Rosleigh Winterthistle is the fifth daughter, and ninth child, of the Barrich branch of the Winterthistle Clan. The Barriches, and therefore the Winterthistles, were nomads, always traveling from place to place, never setting down roots for too long; if opportunity called on the other side of the continent, then they needed to be ready to move as soon as possible. Rosleigh grew up with her brothers and sisters in the backs of ramshackle wagons and carts, living on the road for months at a time, never staying in one place for too long. Her Clan would arrive at their destination, work, take advantage of opportunity, and then move on when something new presented itself.

A life of travel like that means that one needs to have a certain set of skills, one which Rosleigh, as the smallest of the family, was expected to obtain. And this, she did. The Clan would need food; Rosleigh learned to track and hunt, and to identify every edible root, leaf, and berry in the forests and fields of the world. The Clan would need to keep safe; Rosleigh learned to watch for danger, to read people's faces and intentions, to read trail and spoor for any information it could give. The Clan needed safe passage from place to place; Rosleigh learned to read the roads and the forests, to find paths that the carts and wagons could traverse with only a minimum of difficulty. She was a valuable member of the Clan, helping with her various cousins and uncles and aunts and in-laws and who-knows-what-elses to keep everyone safe, fed, and happy.

But, being the youngest of your clan, not to mention small and quiet, tends to leave one feeling neglected. Rosleigh curious about the world, with no way to satisfy that hunger she felt. Sure, she traveled the world, but she never really saw anything in the places she went; her Clan was never in one place for long enough. So, one night, as the Clan rested outside of a small village, Rosleigh made her move. She snuck away under the cover of darkness, and found something better: It was another caravan, sure, but a different one than she had spent her whole life in, and she could pay her way as a guard and guide. She had seen plenty of small towns and villages and hamlets in her travels; she was eager to see what a proper city like Kingsforge would have to offer...

Monmouth Doyle

Human Wizard (CN)

Oracles and seers are often madmen. Is it the fact that those who are mad are more easily able to peer through the veil, unbound by the usual laws of reason, and see what is, was, and could be? Or is it that seeing so much at once puts undue strain on the mind, causing it to crack and come unraveled on the edges? Either way, seeing the wheel of time turning, visions of things yet to come, is not exactly good for ones mental health. And in no person is such a thing more obvious than one Monmouth Doyle of Daletown.

His family was unremarkable: his father was a tailor, his mother grew flowers in their back garden to sell at market. Monmouth himself was a relatively simple, happy child, with no truly great dreams and ambitions in the world, content to live his life in peace and quiet. That all changed shortly after his eleventh birthday, when he first Saw. He did not have the words to say what it was that he had glimpsed; it was as though he was now, and before, and later, all at once, and when he came back to now, he could not truly say that he had done so. He found himself haunted by visions of things that might yet come to pass, prophecies which unfolded in front of his eyes, jumbled words bubbling, falling, from his mouth and maddening scribbles written on scraps of paper that he could not remember writing, though the hand was his own and the ink still wet when he read them. And all the books on portents and signs and prophecy could not help him explain what was happening to him.

It was too loud in Daletown. Too many people, too much to see, too much to See, too much information pouring into his brain at all hours, causing his Sight to tell him things that he did not want to know, and which those he told did not want to know, though knowing would often save their lives, if only they would listen, and try to decipher the riddles which crowded his brain and threatened to burst it like an overfilled sack. They spoke about him in whispers, glancing at him askance when they thought he did not see, but he always Saw. He had to get away from here, to somewhere quiet, somewhere far away from Daletown and the world he knew. So, just shy of his twentieth birthday, he paid all he had to a caravan master, to head south, away from Daletown forever. The people of the caravan seemed decent enough, content to leave him to his books and his notes, to leave him be, to not talk to him and trigger another Vision. And though he liked them well enough, he knew he would leave eventually, when he found the right spot to hide away from the world; after all, if Daletown was too much for him, then surely a great city like Kingsforge would be far more than his Sight could bear...

Ireni Elohana

Elf Cleric (LN)

Even prior to coming to live among the Order of St. Eno, Ireni Elohana was a serious and stoic child. Elves are normally famous for being flighty, capricious beings, but Ireni was quiet, studious, and all around No Fun by Elven standards. She took interest in the martial disciplines that Elves often dabbled in over their long lives, but beyond her affinity for a bow and a sword, she barely seemed to act like an Elf at all.

The Orcs came when she was still young; over a hundred by human reckoning, but barely an adult to the Elves. She was hidden away as her village was laid to waste, the Orcs burning and razing almost everything. Had not several members of the Order of St. Eno come by when they had, the Orcs might have found and killed Ireni. But the Order intervened, smiting down the greenskins with savage, righteous fury. When they found Ireni, her family was dead or gone, her fellow Elves fled, scattered to the winds... What were they to do with such a child? They would take her to the Temple, until they decided what to do with her. And Ireni, stoic and serious Ireni, soon found life at the Temple to be quite comforting, and well-suited to her temperament. Awake in the morning, prayers and meditation. Breakfast, followed by study. Lunch, followed by training of the body. Dinner, and quiet contemplation, before nightly prayers and devotionals. Every day, a simple routine, training the body and mind, honing it into something in service of something greater than herself. Its intangibility did not make it any less real, and it seemed a far better thing to devote ones life to than the flights of fancy the Elves of her homeland were prone to.

With the long life of an Elf, Ireni was just into maturity when she achieved the honor of being named a Warpriest of St. Eno, something most human devotees of the Order trained for their whole lives. And as a test of her skills, and of her faith, she was given an important mission: A holy artifact had been on loan to a Temple in the great city of Kingsforge, and it was time for it to be returned to the Temple where she had trained. So, she would travel with this caravan, to recover the relic and bring it home, where it, and she, belonged...

Yonde Wolfe

Half-Elf Rogue (CG)

Yonde Wolfe was born into a life of ease and luxury. The son of an Elven courtier and a human diplomat, he was raised in the High Elven court in Hal Hassano. And being the child of a courtier and a diplomat, and watching court every day growing up, watching the subtle dance and interplay of this faction and that, this person and that cause, Yonde soon learned the value of words. The right words, spoken to the right person at the right time, could move mountains, and change the fate of whole nations. Words were power. Words could be used to get what you wanted, if you just knew what to say, and where to press...

When the Wasting Fire came to Hal Hassano, Yonde was only five. The disease confined him to bed for two years, and left him somewhat frail, but his mind was just as keen as ever. And when you're an intelligent child confined to bed, books become your best friends. And he read. And he read. He read everything he could get his hands on. He taught himself other languages by piecing together bits of what he could read in texts written in more than one tongue, to increase the range of books available to him. And the more he read, the more he grew in his confidence that words were the key to everything. It started small. A few white lies here and there, a little flattery and praise there, and before long, Yonde was learning just how to apply the right words to any situation, like a healer applying a salve to a wound, or the subtle and cunning acts of a poisoner. Watch your mark, turn on the charm, flash a brilliant smile, and you can turn anyone into putty in your hands.

He likely would have stayed at court and found a position there to ply his trade, if not for an attempted coup, in which his father was implicated as a conspirator. Though he was sure of his father’s innocence in the matter, Yonde decided that it would perhaps be best to disappear for a while, lest suspicion and guilt fall on his father's family, and he be branded a traitor by association. And on his own, his quick wit and silver tongue got him far, the young man quite adept at the art of the con, parting people from their money and property with ease, usually leaving them smiling and thanking him as he absconded with their belongings. Usually. Even the best thief can get caught, after all, and shipped back in irons to the city where he bilked a corrupt mayor out of his ill-gotten gains to stand trial. But Yonde wasn't too worried. He knew he could talk himself out of this mess, like he had so many messes in the past. After all, his tongue was still as silver as ever, and there were many, many miles to go before the caravan got to Kingsforge...

[23meraki]

Falling (A “GOYO: Ang Batang Heneral” one-shot)

Among the sixty men who've come with General del Pilar during his last stand at Tirad Pass, only eight of them managed to survive. And his best friend and aidé-de-camp, Colonel Vicente Enriquez was one of them. Vicente knew that the reason he lived was to tell the tale. But it took him ten realizations before he finally snapped back to reality, and accept the truth.

The counting undoubtly started with ten...

There was the eerie howl in the wind when he first saw his friend walked away, leaving everything behind for him to watch out for.

He was losing hope. He knew that this was a lost battle ever since he saw those Americans with their rifles raised and aimed at them. It had been visible that their enemies' armaments were way superior to those of them, but there was no turning back now at this moment.

Then, it dropped to nine...

He watched the lieutenant and a soldier followed. He has every urge to come along, but he knew too well where he was needed. And it was here that he must remain.

A finger hooked on the trigger as his hands held his own rifle tightly made him shiver and woke up that even though this would be a lost battle, the strategic victory would be theirs as the main objective of this last stand of theirs wasn't to save their skin, but to protect other people.

The lucky eight who lived to tell the tale.

He knew that whosoever lived their lives in war will see themselves staring at the end of that respective line. Those who held a sword will meet the same end. But all he does was to save the innocent and fight for this land he loved.

Someone tapped him by the shoulder, causing him to turn to the pale-faced lieutenant.

It started just thirty minutes before seven.

A whisper on his ear that echoed after it was said. Like some atomic bomb that was dropped, causing too many others to murmur and gossip about.

His entire world stopped. Every strength and courage he has left his body. He leaned against the fortified wall as his hands shook in keeping a great hold of his rifle.

Tangina naman, he cursed to himself.

And the number they had that was once six decad.

Soldiers scrambled upon having the conclusion of the lieutenant being present and the soldier back on their field. They scattered, running like some wild animals wanting to save their own skins from the predators that were closing around them.

His eyes flared in anger as he took his revolver and aimed it at those who dared to flee. He screamed, desperate, as if that would make everyone stop and snap back to fight another time. Even he was just making a fool of himself.

When his own hand was shaking and his finger was so hesitant on pulling the trigger, he knew that whatever morale was lost.

Just five hours since the clock started ticking.

He remembered their childhood.

Being neighbors, he looked up at him just as how they became playmates. He considered him as an older brother just as how he had his own.

But when things turned under way, and he was asked, "Paano namatay si Etong? Para alam ko kung paano ang mamatay para sa bayan.", he knew that such fates were already tied and predetermined before everything else.

Two decades and a four ended it all.

When among all else who could've been chosen, he was appointed as the aidé-de-camp. It was a great honor that swelled his heart.

He looked up at that beacon of light and hope among the youth. And he would always smile at how great that ray of gold was.

How affectionate his name was said every now and then. It had been the absolute proof of how much trust was thrusted onto him.

The three sites where the trenches had been made.

He grumbled as he walked away that night, "Alam ko rin ang putok ng baril."

Perhaps he was just too blinded not to see it right away, but now, he does. He has his own limitations, but this was what he considered as the tipping point.

Even compensations could've been made. He was still willing to do everything for him. Even the fight to death. That was why he had carefully chosen their men, despite asking for who were with them.

"Pare-pareho tayong naghirap papunta dito ni wala isang tinubuan sa inyo ng bayag?" he inquired, and with it all, he was proud to say that there had been men who would match the two of them who were so willing to do everything for their country.

At that moment, despite the fear, he was happy to make him proud.

Two who've witnesed it themselves.

And yet... at the time that he was most needed... he wasn't there to be his guard.

His hands brushed through his cold body, him doing so just to close his lifeless eyes looking at the expanse of nothingness. The warmth of where a smile would be was just a mush of blood and exploded muscles and bones. But all that remained was a body that he buried himself.

He closed his eyes tightly, breathed in as if to calm himself, and his hands closed to tight fists. Silence ensued so loudly inside his skull with signs telling him that it was all over; and there was another day to fight for it.

He can't help wondering if it was acceptable to finally allow him to break loose from the chains of the world. Perhaps there was freedom with death, and it had given his friend the independence that could be compared to that of a mighty bird.

It might be the end for the two of them—endpoints so different from the other—but they were still in war.

And when you were in war, they said that there was no time for grief, for any mourning, and for regrets. That the dead stayed dead. That peace could be won in the contrast of killing to survive.

They said, on a battlefield... the heart stopped feeling, and the mind stopped remembering.

One tragedy that wasn't supposed to be.

"Enteng... salamat."

Zero.

They were wrong.

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[itskangy]

I got catfished--

Okay so it started 2015, I added this handsome lad on Facebook bc im a kid with imagination thinking I was going to get the boy somehow. I admire him so much bc he's good looking and also bc I think he might be kind or whatever. He was Onin Gonzales.

I would always try to talk to him even though I sounded dumb like always lol okay so here's how I tried before;

Kdrama weightlifting kim bok joo was famous this time lol. You have no idea, I can't breathe that time bc a handsome man?! Is replying?! On my messages?! Can you believe that?! I'm just a potato.

There's this one time he posted on his Facebook that he was bored he needs someone to talk to and then he called me and I recorded it ofc it was cringey ohgod I really can't stand hearing my voice you know. But okay i recorded it and I don't remember the number anymore. I sent it to myself on Facebook. Yep I know so "2016"

Okay fast forward to 2019 where we used to talk on Instagram. We talked about A LOT but there's picture limit on one post so I'm not posting it all

Sweet huh? Okay okay I got excited to where this is going bc I was happy, he knows me! Finally after 5 years he remembered me (we had a conversation before and I asked him if he knew me or what and he said he did)

That's all I ever wanted. The person I admire for 5 years knows me and that's a big deal for me.

Ofcourse we aren't "always" talking bc he's "busy at work" or idk so I got bored last year December and I stalked his Twitter, nothing wrong it's just his pictures before and all his thoughts. And then I went to Facebook and I found a post of his friend's friend which is also my Facebook friend bc he's handsome too lol wtf Karen

Okay so the post was about Onin's Facebook account being turned down and I read the comments and it hit me, there's a dude saying "good for him bc he's a poser and here's the original account of the person who owns all the pictures." Something like that but this K.A. defended his friend's friend saying he's not a poser and all, I went to stalk this real account and shit, all photos being shared is the same, also the IG stories.

I DM'd him asking him for his name: (i can't remember the whole conversation im sorry this is what i can recall)

Me: diba your name is Onin Jake Louisse Manansala Gonzales

Him: yes why

Me: can I ask who is Neil R. Is?

And then he didn't replied to me for how many days. I was looking for answers and he wasn't giving it to me so that's kind of fucked up situation.

I knew there was something wrong. I just wanted the answer to come out from him whoever he is.

We had call signs ohmygod it was "babe" MY SACRED ENDEARMENT ok lol whatever

I don't wanna go to all the details bc im tired ugh fuck.

Okay so I talked to this K.A. and here's our conversation;

Me: kuya?

K.A: ?

Me: do you know Onin Gonzales?

K.A: yes

Me: do you know who Harold Neil R. Is?

K.A: yea, why, iisa lang yan

Me: oh really?

K.A: yes why?

Me: no one's "poser" or whatever?

K.A: tropa kasi yan ng tropa ko so familiar lang, ya

Me: :) but do you know why he's using 2 names?

K.A: hindi ko alam but long story yan

Me: oh okay

K.A: alam ko about fam nya yun

Me: okay po thank you

K.A: alrght

I was uh????? I don't know what's happening? It's messed up I can't understand why and I don't know what to believe. All that's left to do is to talk to Neil. Turns out this K.A is probably a catfish too. What the actual fuck I can't believe it.

OKAY SO YESTERDAY I TALKED TO THE REAL PICTURE OWNER, NEIL

I asked him if he knew who handles the account, he told me many people had been asking him about the other account and he said that he only owns one account and he was blocked from that Onin and he told me to not believe anything easily. He doesn't know who is the person behind this poser catfish account.

That was the very first time I really had to talk to him, for 5 YEARS I thought he already knew me, I thought he knew about my feelings for him but no, we just talked YESTERDAY, it was our first time talking EVER. He met me just yesterday (well online, i mean he saw my name on my account or whatever but I know he won't remember me this time anyway)

So I sent a DM to this catfish and I told him

I've known Onin Gonzales for 5 years, turns out he isn't even real. I can't believe it.

Please stop using other people's pictures and please stop pretending to be someone you're not, it's not good for the person you stole from and also not good for other people like me. Also ofcourse not good for you bc ur hiding from someone ur not.

I was wrecked dude. I didn't really fell in love with this person I just appreciated how MATURE our fling thing was lol what the fuck. I would always tell him that I understand if we don't talk like all the time I was like "dude it's okay you have a life and so do I, I'm busy studying and you're busy working and that's fine, I'm not this 16 year old anymore who gets mad if my boyfriend doesn't reply within a minute and then we're gonna fight or whatever"

It was also weird bc he was the one trying to flirt with me I mean it's fine yeah but I can't believe it's possible you know. Ofc to people who knows me, I got trust issues, like I tried not be annoying to this catfish one but I always ask him about himself.

P.S. to whoever the person handling that catfish account. Thanks for making me believe that the person I admired for 5 years knew what I felt about him. How I like him very much and how cute he was like all the time. He never knew that and he never knew me. Fuck ouch lol okay. Thanks for tuning in on my ted talk! Also Happy birthday to me! (Well tomorrow is my birthday okay whatever)

And that's how the story end, tragic right? I still admire the real person who owns the pictures, I still have a crush on him but I think it's time to stop bc he's not going to fall in love with me or whatever, we are not even gonna be friends. Fuck I'm so sad about this. 2020 really? For fuck sake? Thanks a lot!

Okay.

The end.

[howkennafall]

I Am Yours Forever

"The old is gone." *immersed in the water*

"The new has come." *emerged from the water*

Tears swelling in my eyes because of the overwhelming joy in my heart. "Lord, finally, finally, finally.." were only the words continually repeating in my mind.

I didn't realize my desire of recommitment to the Lord through baptism until last Oct 2017 - when I attended my first True Life Retreat as a participant. That time, I was in the process of moving on from a complicated relationship and was struggling with a past that's been constantly haunting me. Determined to get over the burdens, I tried to open up my past to my breakout group. I was hungry for healing and was seeking for people who will listen & understand me. When the last session about Baptism came, a part of me felt like I want to be baptized - yet, majority of me was very hesitant. I was kind of confused if it is the right thing to do (because I already got baptized when I was 9 yrs old) and thoughts like, what will my parents say if they find out, etc. In short, my heart was not ready to surrender then.

The beginning of 2018 was rough for me. It was only a few months after that True Life Retreat and after I joined a discipleship group (Nov 2017) when the enemy's attacks on me got worse and worse. My past started to haunt me almost everyday. Self-condemnation because of guilt and shame crept in. Depression was eating me slowly. Thoughts of ending my life even started to fill my mind. I started to doubt my salvation and was already questioning God's grace and sovereignty in my life. Yet at the same time, I was crying for help from Him. I did not know where to turn to. I was desperate. I have hid all these secrets from people, especially to my parents, for 15 years. I was raised in a Christian home, grew up in Sunday school, and became active in many church ministries from highschool to college. In the outside, people see a very godly person - very knowledgeable about the Bible and faithful in church. Little did people know that on the inside, I was hurting and struggling with secret sins. There even came a time that I was backsliding in heart but I continued singing in the choir, doing special numbers, and even leading a youth group. Maybe you were thinking, ang tigas ng mukha ko, and I'm a hypocrite, etc. Yes, you may call me names whatever you want but, my friend, it was the easiest and only way for me to show people that I'm okay eventhough I'm not. Then, last year was my breaking point. I made mistakes and committed sins even myself could never imagined to do. The self-righteous person in me shattered and I was hopeless.

April 2018, desperate for healing & restoration, I joined CCF's Glorious Hope program together with some friends. It was recommended to us by a 'Kuya' who previously joined it. Amazingly, the Lord used the program to reveal the deepest parts of my heart. I found out that I subconsciously created a coping mechanism towards pain through these years by suppressing and brushing it off. I also realized that I had a distorted image of God's mercy and grace. Through the years, I have created a mindset that I have to compensate first through performance (attending church, doing ministries) before God can forgive and accept me. So when I hit rock-bottom, it was very difficult for me to return to Him. After that 17-week program of praying and processing with the Lord, I finally surrendered everything to Christ. To be honest, it wasn't easy. Those bondages and walls I created through the years were already inculcated in my mind and those bad habits of pride and self-centeredness were already in my system. But TOTAL SURRENDER was all I needed. It was a major encounter with the Lord. Months passed, I experienced God's presence like never before. Through my discipler, dgroup, CCF friends, and B1G Fridays, I grew closer to Christ. March 2019, He allowed me to start discipling and even created opportunities for me to share and encourage ladies who went through the same struggles.

Then, came this B1G True Life Retreat this June when God impressed me to volunteer as a Facilitator. It was my desire to personally witness lives being transformed by Jesus. And that, Lord-willing, He will expand my borders and allow more ladies I can disciple through this retreat. However, I never expected that God will speak to me again about Baptism. Yes, I got baptized already in the church I grew up in when I was 9 years old. But through the years of battling with my past and sins without total surrender, I realized that I never really understood and completely applied my commitment to follow the Lord in my life that time. I guess I only accepted Christ as my Saviour back then but He was never fully the Lord & Master of my life until last year. People maybe asking, why did I still decide to get baptized again? To make things clear, it's ideal that you should be baptized only once. The moment you get to FULLY surrender everything to the Lord - only once is enough. In my case, my baptism last June 16, 2019 was my recommitment to Jesus (above photo). Yes, I already recommitted myself to Him last year but my heart's desire is to make it a public declaration - which I can only do through baptism. This way, I am now more accountable to the authorities who baptized and prayed for me and to the people who witnessed my commitment.

Side note: For those of you who have questions about Baptism, feel free to send me a DM. For now, here are some of my notes about Baptism which was discussed during the retreat.

I know my journey doesn't end here. I know that the battle will get more difficult. The enemy's attacks will be greater. I might still fall and make mistakes. But I AM NOT ALONE. I have Jesus beside me and goes before me (Joshua 1:9). He will pick me up when I fall (Isaiah 41:13). I now know (not only head-knowledge but (Gr.) ginosko which means experiential knowledge) that I can return to His loving arms without condemnation (Romans 8:1; Psalm 51:17). Only until I surrendered everything to Him, that I FULLY experienced His grace and His love became more real to me.

I love You, Lord - because You first loved me.

I AM YOURS FOREVER, JESUS. :)

[nexusradiodance]

Noah Cyrus: The Good Cry

Noah Cyrus Interview.

Nashville-based singer, songwriter and actress Noah Cyrus needs no introduction. Born on January 8th of the year 2000, she’s the daughter of Country Music Superstar Billy Ray Cyrus, and younger sister to mega pop star Miley Cyrus.

In 2017, she was named one of the most influential teens by TIME Magazine.

Noah has worked with many great Dance Music producers like One Bit, Alan Walker, Matoma, and Marshmello to name only a few. So we sat down with her to talk about her experience working in the EDM world, her fiery new EP “Good Cry,” and of course, her little Chihuahua “Ellie.”

Ron: What’s your dog’s name?

Noah Cyrus: Ellie! Her name is Ellie. She came with the name Ellie, and now I just say that it’s after Ellie Goulding. She’s a little Chihuahua and we always joke, I don’t know what you can say on here, but we always joke that she’s like the cocaine dog because she just seems to be on it all the time. If you could imagine a Chihuahua on just mounds of cocaine, that’s my dog!

The Good Cry.

Noah Cyrus released her debut EP “Good Cry” back in September of 2018. She describes the process as very emotional for her.

Ron: So, let me ask you this. When was the last time you had a good cry?

Noah Cyrus: I cried just a couple of days ago. I don’t know if it was a good one. But I cry sometimes when I’m in my hotel room alone. There was a point where I was just like, I miss my dog really bad and my mom texted me that she loved me and missed me and she gave me the like, ‘I miss you baby girl. I just want you to know I love you so much.’ And I just kind of broke down because when you’re out here it’s nice because, you know, Maddie is like family, and Zach and everybody on my team is like family, but I miss my dog and I miss my mom a lot, she’s like my best friend.

Rons: Pop Music is often called artificial, but listening to your album, it was so real and so emotional. What inspired you to open up to your fans so much?

Noah Cyrus: For example, like ‘Punches’ was a really hard day in the relationship that I was in for two years, and that was the first time that I’d ever broken down in front of a writer and producer. Joe Janiak, I’ll never forget, Joe and Jenna were just sitting there holding me because I was just sobbing, and Joe and I just really connected on this level and wrote down this song. It wasn’t just on purpose, I was in this relationship for two years and I’ve been writing about it since it began, and none of it changed. And it took two years for me to realize that you know, for us to mutually agree that it was time for us to move on, and now I have an album to write about that, and that’s great! But I went through two years that were really heavy and I just ended up writing these songs not knowing they were all gonna go together. I wrote “Good Cry” and that was kind of the final piece of the puzzle. Then I wrote ‘Topanga’ a week before the Ep came out and that was just an accident. It was a voice memo on my friend’s phone, and I ended up loving the voice memo so much. I was like, I want to put it on the EP.

EDM Records With Meaning.

Ron: So, you worked with One Bit, you worked with Marshmello and Alan Walker and you worked with all these great dance producers. What experiences or lessons did you take from them to work on your solo project?

Noah Cyrus: I think we just created good friendships overall, I went on a three-week tour with Alan in Europe and I just went out and sang “All Falls Down” every night and it was so much fun. It’s cool because I got to learn about the DJ side of things. But it’s always fun working with that side of music, the EDM genre. Because it’s so different, especially when you get to make a record with emotion in it; “Slow” is such an emotional record and that’s Matoma’s record and I love how emotional that song is and I relate to that song and it’s cool because I have a lot of songs that I haven’t put out yet that I want to pitch to a lot of EDM people. These are all personal records, and it’d be cool if we turned them into club records. That’s why I love the song “Headlights.” If you remember that song with the IIsey (Juber), she sings it. She’s the one who I wrote “Almost Famous,” and “Topanga” with and she just performed with me in New York, She’s amazing! But I love “Headlights” because it’s an EDM record with a meaning and that’s what I love about doing EDM records. You can deliver an EDM record with meaning.

Her Boss Ass Bitch Song.

Ron: So, when you sing “My Way,” what’s going on in your headspace?

Noah Cyrus: Like, why am I not getting what I want bitch! Like, I’m the princess! and that’s how I am in the music video. The whole music video is me as like a little princess and you know what? I really felt that song because I felt that with my music, I wasn’t getting my way for the longest time and now I’m getting my way. I am who I want to be. I was in a relationship with somebody that didn’t like who I was as a person, and you know what? That’s fine. We’re not meant to be together and I realized that “My Way” is my “boss ass bitch song.” I feel like Beyonce when I sing my way. I feel like [putting] my heels on even though I’m always wearing sneakers because I’m a “sneakerhead.” I just feel like a boss ass bitch when I sing “My Way.”

Ron: Cool kicks! those Nikes?

Noah Cyrus: Yes. Nike is my favorite shoe brand on the planet!

Ron: Awesome! Awesome.

Noah Cyrus: Sorry Adidas. I like you too though! and everybody else… they can be friends.

Ron: Speaking about meaning, your fans love you so much.

Noah Cyrus: and I love them so much.

Her Team and Her Fans

Ron: What do you love most about your fans?

Noah Cyrus meets her fans in Chicago.

Noah Cyrus: We started out as friends like when I was a kid I would go on Twitter and we would become like Twitter friends and we would DM (Direct Message) each other. I feel like I have a special relationship with them because they’ve literally watched me grow up. Like if their parents were my dad’s fans and they were growing up looking at…. I don’t know, it’s just a really cool relationship that I have with my fans. We’ve always just been family.

Ron: I saw the line of fans out there for meet and greets. What’s the coolest gift you’ve been given by a fan?

Noah Cyrus: My favorite is just when they bring me a good old bag of Chili-Cheese Fritos. I swear!

Ron: I Love that! Okay, you made such a good team with singer MAX. How did the two of you meet?

Noah Cyrus: We met at radio shows a couple of years ago. We just met at a radio show. I’ve always loved his music. I’ve always loved Max. I’ve always loved his sense of fashion and he’s such a cool kid, or not a kid but you know, he’s such a cool cat and I love him. And I ended up just hitting him up and was like “Yo, get on ‘Team’ your voice is too beautiful to not be on this song!” I wrote it for my boyfriend at the time because we were going through some stuff, and I still wanted to work it out, as us women do, but you know, whatever.

Ron: Have you seen the movie “A Star is Born” yet?

Noah Cyrus: Not yet. I haven’t had time to go to the movies yet, but for all my fans listening. You guys know I love Gaga, so I want to go see it immediately.

The Puffer Fish Cup.

Ron: A few more things. That selfie you took with the Beatles. That’s sickening.

Noah Cyrus: Was that not the best!? So, there’s a story behind this! Maddie wakes up around noon. Maddie and I share rooms at hotels, we’re best friends. I wake up around 2:30 PM, it’s about 2:30 and Maddie’s tapping me on the shoulder saying, “Noah, I want to go to this restaurant, look at these fish cups.” And I’m like “What the fk is a fish cup!?” And I look and they’re selling, they are not selling, they give you your drink in these glasses that are shaped like a puffer fish. So, Maddie and I were checked out of our hotel room, it’s checkout time and we have nowhere to go. So, we’re like, fine- let’s walk to this f*ng place and they’re not even open. Only their pizzeria is open, so Maddie convinces the hotel-casino place to sell her this fish cup, this puffer fish cup. And on our way to the puffer fish cup place was that wall of the Beatles. And then my friend who was on Facetime with me and we just thought it was funny when you see it and you zoom in, you see my friend on facetime, but yeah.

Ron: If you could cover any Beatles songs, which one would it be?

Noah Cyrus: Well, “Hey Jude” was the first song I learned on piano, so I would probably go to cover “Hey Jude,” even though that’s like a typical cover, but … my teacher back in school, when I was in second grade, he started teaching me piano and “Hey Jude” was the first song that I learned.

Chicken Nuggets, a Frosty and Fries with Ranch.

Ron: Now it’s time to play “TAKE 5”.

Noah Cyrus

Noah Cyrus: I’m down.

Ron: These are five questions to really get to know you better. We know you don’t drink coffee. So what drink do you start your morning with?

Noah Cyrus: What drink do I start my morning with? Water. I just drink and tea.

Ron: What’s your favorite thing to order at Wendy’s?

Noah Cyrus: Chicken nuggets, a Chocolate Frosty and French Fries…. with Ranch.

Ron: Of course Ranch.

Noah Cyrus: Yes.

Ron: What will the Noah Cyrus perfume smell like?

Noah Cyrus: Oooo, Chicken nuggets! …that’d be so gross! No, to be honest, I have never really been a perfume person, but my friend did get me the Ariana Grande perfume when it was my 16th birthday so that’s my favorite smell. Oooh! just kidding, I’m selling candles as my merch with my face on it, like Jesus Saint candles; Christmas cookie scented candles! We couldn’t get them scented on time for the tour. So, my perfume is going to be Christmas cookie scented candle from cracker barrel.

To learn what Noah Cyrus thinks has been the biggest change in Nashville in the last five years, her favorite remix of one of her own songs and more, listen to the full audio interview below!

The Audio Interview.

from Dance Music – Nexus Radio https://ift.tt/2Eqoyh9

[inbarfink]

A List of Big Misconceptions about D&D Alignment that I See All the Time and Now I’m Salty Enough to Rant About All of Them

So! Aligmments! They sure are a tricky subject, aren’t they? Source of many discussions and flame wars and nitpicks, made all the worse by it’s flaws and it’s bumpy start (this post is a good read about it and there are plenty of other posts complaining and discussing what’s wrong with it), but I’m not here spesifically to take the nine-point system to task, but more to point out stuff about it that people CONSTANTLY GET WRONG. Because I’m salty and petty and I like wasting my time

1.  First things first, what ARE aligmments? the Alignment System, as it exists in the game, seems for me to have a very specific role - it’s an extreme simplication of a character’s moral code for the sake of gameplay mechanics (as in “This spell will only let those with a good heart enter the sanctum” “Well, can my character come in?” “Check your aligmment”), if a DM wants to throw away “Detect Evil” spells and other stuff that implies objective good and evil in their game - I’d say it’s perfectly justified to throw away the Aligmment System as a whole as well, since it will serve very little purpose in their game. Many of the criticisms of the Aligmment system AND the annoying misconceptions about it comes from thinking it should do stuff other then quickly telll you how badly the Sword of Ultimate Evil injured your half-elf mage by quickly glancing at your character sheet.

2. Aligmments are not the end-all-by-all of philosophical and moral disagreement: There’s this idea that if two people have the same sort of  Alignment that they must be agreeing on everything and are basically the same (more on THAT later), because, well, they are on the same side on the scales of good versus evil and chaos versus law, right? Well, no! Because like I said, Alignmment are a simplication - under the banner of “Lawful Good” there could be a THOUSAND disagreements and different ways to “perform” the alignmment. You can have a whole adventuring party of LG people who can’t stop arguing. Batman and Superman have plenty of moral disgreements all the time, but I think most versions of those characters are both LG - just in different ways

3. Alignments Are NOT the Character Archetypes This Character is Associated With: Or “Alignments don’t define personality”, that also works. There are certain character types and personalities people associate with spesific Alignments: the LG Pure Knight in Shining Armor, CG Trickster, LN Strict Super Boring Guy, LE Honrable Well-Intentioned Villain, CE PURE EVUL MUAHAHAHHAHA, and well...it’s not like those archetypes don’t have a GRAIN of truth to them - you’ll probably find more eccentric tricksters who are CG then LN, it’s easier to do. The problem comes for me when people ONLY look to those archetypes to match character aligmments and don’t actually look at that character’s morals and ideals - just assume that if that character’s personality matched the personality of a stereotypical archetype of an aligmment, that must mean that they are of this aligmment.  A long long time ago (back when the StrexCorp arc of WTNV was really only starting to kick into gear, IIRC), Cecil Baldwin posted his thoughts of what would be the aligmments of the WTNV characters - I can’t find the post now because Tumblr’s search function is a piece of shit - but I had a lot of grievances with his choices, espacially of Cecil Palmer being CHAOTIC GOOD out of all things. Cecil Palmer, at the time that the tweets were made, was Lawful Neutral (i’m seriously behind on WTNV but I heard he’s started doing more Chaotic things recently, which is good! That’s character development! But LN was still his starting point). He cares a lot for the people who are close to him, but not for, like strangers, or the greater good in any sort of cosmic scale - he’s moral in the way a normal person is moral, that’s neutral. And Cecil is VERY adamant about following the strict rules and tyrannical govermment and terrible traditions of Night Vale. Sure he rebelled agaisnt StrexCorp, because they were a different horrible dystopia then what he was used to living under (this whole thing ties into other misconceptions I haven’t talked about yet maybe I should’ve organized that differently) Cecil IS the guy who hated his brother in law for YEARS for speaking Forbidden Truths and not following in line, he’s very lawful. And yet people feel weird about placing LN as Cecil’s aligmnemt - because he doesn’t behave like a LN archetype: he’s not a monk or a Knight Templer or a Super Serious Super Boring Guy, he is sort of an eccentric trickster and that’s why people, even his own ACTOR (who probably got a better grasp on the character then I’ll ever will) can fall into this hole of placing him in there - it’s about misunderstanding the alignment more then misunderstanding the character. This is just one example but I can think of others, such as people refusing to admit Chaotic characters as Chaotic because they think being a moralizing asshole is a strictly Lawful thing

4. Chaotic Evil and Lawful Good mean more then just “Ultimate Evil” and “Ultimate Good”: This is a subset of #3, but one that is so prevalent and common I feel it kinda need it’s own category. Because so many people see “Lawful Good” as meaning nothing but “the most good alignmment” and “Chaotic Evil” as meaning nothing but “the most evil alignmment”, it’s undoubtly a result of the archetype problem - with the most iconic archetypes for them being “Pure Paragon” and “PURE EVIL MUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA”, and so people assume that’s the only sort of people who would have this aligmment - which leads to the idea that LG and CE are nothing but being “more good” or “more evil” then other alignments - which in turn makes people view the alignemnt chart (consiously or subconsiously) as less

And more of just a direct line of good\less good that’s like LG > NG > CG > LN > TN > CN > LE > NE >CE. Which is not true! Like I mentioned in 2 alignmment are very general and can be preformed in a number of ways and every good alignmment can be less or more good and every evil aligmment can be less or more evil. LG suffers from it LESS because there’s also the “Asshole Knight Templer Paladin” Archetype to show people how a LG character can also be morally ambigious, but only in this one really narrow way and they still generally have that self image of being bright and shiny. That’s why Batman is rarely listed as LG even though I think it’s the best alignment for him, Batman is not the “correct” kind of morally ambigious LG and he’s too dark and sneaky to fit the Paragon archetype. But CE has it MUCH worse, poor poor CE... Do you have any idea how many alignnment analysis posts I’ve seen that explained every alignmment’s moral basis perfectly, and then fucking fucked it up in the CE segment by doing it nothing but DESTORY EVERYTHING MUHAHAHHAHA. Or for an alternative example, take this post, What Does the Fox Say is listed as LE and Fox News as CE because CE is seen as the ultimate evil aligmment and LE seems as the “Lesser Evil” aligmment as a result of it - but one can argue that Fox News, and maybe american right wing politics in general, are more Lawful then Chaotic: due to their support of oppression, harmful tradionlism, pandering to “that’s the way it’s ALWAYS been” and attempts to push back against positive change - while memes like WDTFS are inheriently a more Chaotic force.... BUUUUUUT we thing of CE as Ultimate Evil so if we wanna insult Fox News THAT’S WHAT WE HAVE TO DO. Same goes with listing characters like... the Lich from Adventure Time as CE, even though I don’t think he’s EVER shown are prefrence for Chaosness, but being the ultimate evil of the show we have to label him as CE. Again, EVERY EVIL ALIGMMENT CAN BE THE MISUNDERSTOOD KINDA OKAY BADDIE OR THE WORSE THING EVER, LE doesn’t have a monopoly on one and CE doesn’t have a monopoly on the other. A character who’s big into change and personal freedom and hates tradition but is JUST enough of an asshole to count for Evil, will be Chaotic Evil, but I feel a lot people feel weird putting that label on sympathetic characters and will probably label them as CN or even fucking LAWFUL Evil because they’re not Ultimate Evil

5. Lawful doesn’t mean blindly follow the rules all the time and Chaotic doesn’t mean LOL RANDOM: I think you’ve noticed that so far, many of the misconceptions have to do with the Lawful-Chaotic spectrum rather then the Good-Evil spectrum - for well... OBVIOUS reasons. Good and Evil are rather self explantory, everyone knows what Good and Evil is - Chaos and Law are...often a lot harder to define. The fact that D&D’s Law and Chaos’ origins are so different then what the aligmment system ended up being and that the sourcebooks often explain it poorly really doesn’t help... I’m really not suprised this got so common. So, what do I feel Lawful versus Chaotic means? Well, just like everything else about D&D aligment it’s supposed to be VERY general and simplified guideline about what you feel regarding Laws, rulers, traditions, change, The System, self-discipline, personal codes and stuff like that. Lawful does NOT mean you have to obey and follow the rules of whatever horrible oppresive place you fall into, it just means that you as a general rule thinks rules and order and traditions are a good thing to have (for your personal goals, for the greater good of the people...whatever...), while being Chaotic means you DON’T think those things are good and istead values freedom and change and lack of restriction. A Lawful Good person stuck in a Lawful Evil country that allows slavery or some shit, wouldn’t have to just stand around and accept it because it’s the law\tradition of the place - they could very well agree to rebel, but want to install a “Legitimate Ruler” afterward, or to make sure a lot of the political system remains intact after they clean out the evil bits because they believe a stable political system is better for the people, or want to destory slavery via legitimate legal means or... you know... there’s a whole bunch of options, like I said, there’s a lot of ways to be Lawful Good - but none of them include agreeing to obey obviously evil laws because being “Lawful” means more then just “blindly follow the rules”. And on the same page a Chaotic person doesn’t have to always break the rules or do something weird, they just have to believe that in general, having less rules and less traditions and more change are a positive thing. And if someone says your character can’t follow\rebel against the rules because they’re chaotic\lawful, they’re seriously missing the point, but also-

6. “YOU CAN’T DO THAT, YOU’RE [ALIGMMENT]” is a bullshit statment: Aligmments are, again, a general simplification of a character morals for the purpose of gameplay, they should not be restrictions. Unless you’re playing as an Angel or a Demon or some other shit, everyone go against their aligmment in some ways some times - because your aligmment describes you as a general overview, not every single individual action. If a player feels this or that action is 100% what their character would do in this situation, the DM and other players shouldn’t stop them based on friggin aligmment. If the action is extremely egregious (like a non-evil character buring down an orphanage for a laugh) or if it happens repeadly) then the solution should be to just change the aligmment on the sheet and that’s it? I know that here I’m talking to the makers of the games just as much as I’m talking to the fandom, but giving XP penalties for going against aligmment is more often then not just punishing your players for complex characters or character development. You see the effects of those lines of thoughts when figuring out alignments for fictional characters. Those Aligmment charts demonstrating all the Aligmment with one character are COOL and all, but they’re less cool when people are all “Oh I just can’t tell which aligmment Princess Bubblegum is because she did stuff of all aligmments at least once!”: because, yeah, she did - BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE DOES! Aligmments are about the general moral philosphies and not every individual action is gonna follow that. Everyone slips from their aligmment from time to time! Just because Princess Bubblegum did a Chaotic Thing once, doesn’t distract from the fact that as a general, big picture view of her character, she’s Lawful Good-leaning on Lawful Neutral. 

[hannie-dul-set]

bibingka [mark lee]

part of the puhon playlist collection

SUMMARY | legend says that if you finish all nine night masses of simbang gabi, your wish will be granted. mark only hopes that it’s actually true because that’s his last and only chance in getting you to notice him (but wait— shouldn’t his wish only come true after the nine days?) PAIRING | mark lee x crush! female! reader GENRE | christmas! au, fluff much fuff, a very awkward mark lee WARNINGS | religious themes (? is this a warning?), swearing WORD COUNT | preview: 311, actual fic: est. 6k (currently 4k) PROMPTS | “pagdating ng ama namin, ang oras huminto // nang magkahawak ang ating mga kamay // umawit mga ulap at sabay // nagsiawit ang mga anghel sa langit” + “pero mula nu'ng unang ama namin na // ang iyong kamay ay hinawakan // 'di mo na binitawan” (the our father came, and time stopped // when our hands touched // the skies sang and the angels in heaven sang together” + “but ever since the first our father, i held your hand // and you never let go of it”) RELEASE DATE | december 19th TAGLIST | @jimjamjaemin @capablemork8299 @danishmiilk @probablygonnahurtsomebody @jccv @rebel-lious-alien @dalkomhanchocolateicecream @kthpurplesyou​ @fullsuhnshine​ @dejvns​ (please shoot me a dm/ask if you wanna be tagged to THIS fic or the other fics in the collection <3)

a/n: ahhh this’ll be the first part of the puhon playlist <33 very excited hehe the links for the masterlist + song will be in the reblogs because tumblr hates links JFHJF this is also very niche so i don’t really expect a lot people to read it, but ofc you don’t have to be filo/catholic to enjoy SJFD

PREVIEW UNDER THE CUT!

december 19, 3:51am.

The moon was just about to fall asleep but Mark Lee was wide awake.

It was the fourth out of the nine days of Mark attending dawn masses, and at that point he was already debating on whether or not to continue waking up every three in the morning, suffering from the bites of the cold wind just for something that isn't even certain— something that only someone as stupidly infatuated as him would stupidly subject themselves onto.

But even if it wasn't certain, Mark said that he'd take all his chances. That's what's keeping him committed at this point.

Legend says if you complete all the nine masses of "simbang gabi" leading up to Christmas, whatever you wish for will come true.

Maybe I should just wish to stop liking her, he sighed as he thought to himself, further burying his fists into the black padded jacket that shielded him from the early morning gusts and he walked underneath the night sky, following the sounds of light chattering that led to church. Mark laughed at himself for even thinking about that. He wasn't sure if a single wish was enough to erase the five years worth of admiration that he had been harboring all this time.

That's why he's wishing for a chance with you instead— Y/N L/N, the girl he'd been hopelessly crushing on since you helped him find his classroom in seventh grade. Pathetic, he knew. You two we're already in your last few months of high school and yet no matter the phases he got in and out of, the interests that came and went, one thing that kept on being constant were his seemingly unrequited feelings directed to none other than you.

Well, it was really his fault for never having the balls to actually hold a conversation with you.

© hannie-dul-set, 2020.

[velcoriaexploration]

Because people keep making RP versions of their D&D/Pathfinder characters...

Under a Read More since it’s kind of long.

//Let’s see here.... I’ve got blog versions of three of them:

Dalvrick Varanis Geirheim, Prince of the vampire-run icy capital of Northfell. (Pathfinder) He is not a very good guy. Only played him for a short time, but I left a lasting impression on the party who thought I couldn’t come up with a disturbingly evil character. I think it was the first time that my friends other than Fiddle realized I sometimes have a darker mind than any of them.

Acelin Applefield, Marquis of Farynthi (Pathfinder) (Has become a Duke in the Campaign..... Mainly because the hordes of undead wiped out a large percentage of those in front of him. Would be the King if he hadn’t ordered the Prince of the country to be resurrected. One of my friends was really pushing me to let the Prince remain dead and take his spot too. It just wasn’t something Acelin would do. Especially after the Prince’s support, not the King’s, was one of the reasons Acelin’s city didn’t fall.)

Kemlin Olindrel, My Kayal (Fetchling) Half-elf College of Lore Bard (D&D 5e/Pathfinder) (Only ran him as an NPC in one of my campaigns because the campaign he was going to be in originally as a PC became an Evil Campaign instead of a Neutral/Good Campaign before we even started playing)

//Ones that have only shown up in the game sessions.

Esrelia Oldfaun - Dalvrick’s distant cousin. Crazy Vampire Lady. (Was an NPC)

Amelia Renwald - (5e/MTG Campaign) My “unicorn” teenage Tiefling College of Glamour Bard (Devil’s Tongue Variant). Only character that I purposely made to be really bubbly and innocent. She was quick to try to make friends even though most people saw her as a straight up demon. She was still coming into understanding of her abilities when that campaign ended for personal reasons between the DM and two of the other players (Only the DM was the problem in this case). But she hated killing unless she had to, and even then, I was purposely making roles to see how she was progressing on getting used to that grisly part of adventuring. She had a tiefling dad and a nymph mom, but was raised by humans and was adventuring to find her origins. Also, may have been unintentionally charming people due to her nymph heritage XD

Garmonde Thatcholt - (5e) Teifling Eldritch Knight who used a gun that allowed him to amplify spells and replicate some minor sorcerer metamagic abilities. He was actually in two campaigns. He got trapped in a parallel world in a different timeline. Had a habit of eating chalk when he was nervous. Lots of shit happened to him. Was in an asylum in the first campaign, Lost his blue pseudodragon familiar, got harassed by the party he joined in the second campaign, and ended up stuck in a world inside a book that is currently in space due to some “unforseen button pushing shenanigans in a metal futuristic structure” by the two female players in our group’s characters. I wasn’t even mad when it happened. It was a great session even though I lost a character XD

Afua “Nightbringer” Poautu-Nag (5e) - My Goliath Totem Barbarian. Only Evil Campaign character I’ve played that lasted for more than a few sessions. My Okami homebrew witch character, Reibai, had left the party due to both a change of heart and the constant annoyance from two frog person characters in the party, (Basically, the party would want to do something, they would immediately do the exact opposite.) and my evil weretiger paladin character, Xomoku, had been betrayed by the party’s rogue after that. He has some unluck thing. And has some haunt that seemingly wants something and won’t let him just die. But each time he dies he gets more unlucky. He’s died three times. But I don’t think we will get back to that campaign unless we do away with the party’s rogue (The DM when I played Amelia)

Vok’Rhal - (3.5) My only rogue ever. He was the member of a race my first DM and best buddy, Fiddle, called the Nazgiel. They were a nomadic (for the most part) monstrous human-like creatures that had been changed by the Plane of Shadow. He is also the only character that I have ever had that nearly killed himself due to a large series of natural 1s... Shot himself in the foot, got Swamp Fever from Dire Rats, Shot himself again... It was not a good time.

Orlan Harpshore (5e/Dragon’s Dogma Campaign) - Gloom Stalker Ranger. Former Merchant. Can’t speak much due to damage to his vocal cords and griffon claw marks on his lower throat and chest that he almost died from when his family’s caravan was attacked between Gran Soren and Cassardis. He has an extreme distaste for the current Arisen (Who we just learned in that campaign has died) and the military’s current love for drafting children. Playing him some more on Sunday night.

Eldraeis Emberwin (5e) - Mechanist (Homebrew Alchemist type) My Eladrin inventor and archaeologist I am playing since Garmonde’s mishap due to buttons being pressed... Has a mechanical servant named Hemlock. Hemlock is a big brute, but very stealthy due to his build and acts as protection and transport for Eldraeis.

Valenthorn Geric (3.5) - My first character. He was a Neutral Good half-elf ranger that became a NG vampiric god of nature by the end of the quick leveling intro campaign Fiddle ran for me almost 13 years ago. There was a steep learning curve for Fiddle and myself. So many revisions had to be made as we learned the rules. But he was my first character, and it took me a long time to ever play a ranger again because I loved him so much.

Crim Suncroaker (5e) - My Circle of the Shepard Druid Frogfolk. He has only been used once because that campaign has a new session pretty much once six months to a year. 

Wu-Yen (5e) - A Huncan (Basically the Pathfinder Vanara) Drunken Master Monk. He is soon to replace Eldraeis, who is leaving the party to due more research on his own, since they really only were together due to circumstance. He was studying and helping a reptilian alien repair the ship they launched into the atmosphere.... And may have caused a major chasm to the ocean to form. And according to our DM, we may have killed the Drow of that world by the soon to happen mass drowning in the Underdark and destruction of their fungus farms....

[modronlotus]

As apart of the 30 Days of Witchcraft challenge, I have to research or try different methods of the craft and share my results. This was another reason I picked this particular challenge; I get to try new things!

Today's new experience will be a with automatic writing. The results are sure to be interesting, especially since I've never done it before. So let's get started!

---

For the record, I'm writing this article as soon as I finished this experience so it's SUPER fresh in my mind. Remember: this is just my personal experience so if you try automatic writing it may turn out completely different for you!

For those that don't know, automatic writing can be used as an intuitive practice for those who have claircognizance or other types of psychic ability. It can also be used in communicating with guides and spirits.

I have a bit of claircognizance, I have for quite awhile, so I thought this challenge would be interesting to try. Who knows, it might be fun!

I followed this handy guide here on how to get started and sat down at my computer. It seemed a bit of an unpopular idea to use a keyboard to do automatic writing; however, I'm incredibly comfortable at the keyboard. I frequently freak people out by typing and not looking at the screen or while holding a conversation. 

Just years of practice!

Anyway, I sat down, turned on my usual rain sounds for meditation, and got started. The meditation part was easy but I wasn't sure what exactly was going to happen.

I felt a slight twitching in my fingers but tried to focus on cleansing and grounding my body instead. As I kept focusing on that, I felt a major energy shift. Especially in my head.

Have you ever had a moment where you're laying in bed and suddenly the room starts turning and you feel like you're falling? Your eyes are closed, you can feel the stationary bed beneath you, but you're falling somehow.

That's how it felt sitting at my computer doing this. My eyes were fluttering behind my eyelids (I always have my eyes closed for meditation), my head was back and felt hot as hell, the room was spinning, and my fingers were twitching away on the keyboard.

And these are my results:

My Higher Self, what steps can I take to have a happy and successful life with my family?

 Ommems d  slk e;lkankdoe kd  ake m  lmsa ek esmfn amv ma cmnlsa lmf’s en ,do  ejfnvo wndmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmkksmf ew fmml;s ke ;mfeo  q  lmd  em;lms ek v;m  skmd e;lp[d  em;mpw  dmnfw tl; dk;wm dl.s;a e  d,le wl d, fe;wm d,fewm;lds. We m;mgerw  d;;q e/;s.  s;s ;em we f;l ekf t ;dm w ld; e md,e;;c, fme;,d s.pemf gn,d;e mfjtdl;w mg nd,s e ov ew;mg e m;md w bme fmd.s e;mb s fof   e. kek;;d fek;dme;ng;d,;w;md ewmd mf,d.

It's fascinating. What's standing out to me at most is the word "We" on the side. My mind keeps screaming at me that by keeping the concept of "we", us as a family, in mind then we'll end up happy wherever we go.

I think I may try a hand at this in the future; practice does make perfect and it seems that automatic writing takes quite a bit of practice. 

[23meraki]

Secrets Pt II [A “Heneral Luna” and “GOYO: Ang Batang Heneral” one-shot]

If General Luna didn’t die, Colonel Enriquez must steel his nerves to meet him to deliver a message… or will he end up falling in love with Joven, the General’s adopted son?

Part 1 //

“Goyo…” he was exhausted—light-headed from some drinking spree last night—and he pressed his hands against his temples to ease the ache. “Si Julian na lang ang papuntahin mo doon. Nakakatakot harapin si Heneral Luna. Mapapatay niya ako kapag naamoy niya na amoy alak ako. Narinig mo ba yung usap-usapan tungkol sa kanya?”

“Tungkol doon sa Artikulo Uno? Oo; magandang batas na dapat ay nakalatad sa ating konstitusyon kung maari. At yung pagpapahiya niya sa Brigada ng Kawit? Oo; totoo naman na walang panahon ang dapat ipasadya sa gitna ng digmaan,” his friend replied with a sharp voice. “Tsaka mas lasing pa sa iyo si kuya. Ayoko mabalitaan na sumuka siya sa harapan ng Punong Heneral.”

It was actually a surprised for him to find out that Goyo wasn’t drunk from last night. He knew that the young general was courting a woman last night, but had been always rejected and yet he remained as a fool. He started to wonder what Goyo had eaten to start acting a little weird.

In the end, he finally agreed on. He was sent to deliver the letter of seeking an audience with General Luna. He was still in the end of his wits, but he ensured that he would have a very good impression for the sake of the Brigada del Pilar. He made sure that he doesn’t smell like alcohol, that he would not vomit, and he would not pee on his pants due to his own fear.

But, good Lord, he surely didn’t regret being the messenger. He was surprised to find out that in a great battallion of valiant soldiers loyal to General Luna, there would be a man who wasn’t at all a soldier. Someone who was completely out of place… and yet, there he was.

“Sabihin mo kay Goyo na ako’y nagagalak tanggapin ang kanyang paanyaya,” General Luna told him. “Inaasahan ko na magkikita kami ayon sa aking nasabi. Kailangan nating magkaisa kung nais talaga nating matalo ang mga Amerikano.”

“Opo, heneral,” he managed to reply back. He was a little embarrassed that he was stealing glances at the man who’ve been watching him since his arrival as well, seated with Colonel Róman, Captain Rusca, and Major and Captain Bernals, as they enjoyed on their afternoon siesta of tea and ensaymadas.

And so he returned back to his general. But not before having another lingering look at the man who’ve shyly turned away.

Vicente could swore that he had been surprisingly eager for the meeting between Goyo and Heneral Luna. It wasn’t the first time, but it would be for someone, aside from the soldiers, whom they’ll collaborate with. Being the aide-de-camp, it was his obligation to be next to Goyo for throughout the audience. That didn’t stop him, however, from glancing on at the man—now standing next to the Bernal brothers.

When their eyes met for a second, he smiled at the man. All of a sudden, the man averted his gaze. He wondered if he was having false assumptions, but his smile widened upon seeing him blushed.

The days that followed had been peaceful. Both forces of the two generals had come to an agreement of working together to fulfill their common goal to ensure that the Philippine Republic will have an advantage if a stronghold battle will ensue. And Vicente was asked to overlook a respective part of the troops working on with building almost unpenetrable trenches at the other end of camp.

He could’ve asked Goyo to place him close to the main base, but he knew that the young general would not allow the older del Pilar to be on his place; since Julian would certainly linger with the work. Compared to being close to the base, Julian would remain under Goyo’s reach and the watches of General Luna’s forces, which will make Julian act as a commendable soldier than a reckless one.

Anyhow, he remained thankful for once in a while, the man—whom he later learned to be named Joven Hernando—would be trailing one end of the trenches all the way to the other with José Bernal. For some reasons, he could say that General Luna had chosen the younger Bernal to act as some guard for Joven. Though there were times that their meeting were fleeting—a nod, a greeting, and an acknowledgement—Vicente could not stop himself from wanting to have a more in-depth conversation to get to know the man much more.

After all, there was something about the man that made him want to get closer to him.

It was only after a few days more that Vicente had been cornered by the del Pilars and by his own younger brother, Jose.

“GAH!” Julian screamed in frustration, one that could be heard by practically everyone on camp. Surely another would insinuate General Luna to barge in right at their hut to find out the reason why.

“Kuya, maghunustili ka nga,” Goyo chides from the series of papers he had been reading. He was about to start taking notes onto his journal before Julian shouted. The ink from his pen had caused a blot onto the otherwise clean paper. He mumbled sharply, “Puñeta!”

“Ano na naman bang nangyayari sa iyo, pinsan?” Juan, the del Pilar brothers’ cousin, inquires while he was polishing their rifles and swords along with the younger Enriquez.

Vicente remained looking from outside of the hut, while the four others bickered on.

“Nakakainis yung ganito,” Julian settled onto the floor next to Juan. A heavy frown on his face, he reached out for his own rifle and aimed it at the empty space. “Wala namang nangyayaring labanan, bakit hindi tayo puwede magkaroon ng pista? Hindi gaya dati bago tayo sumanib sa mga puwersa ng Punong Heneral. Ngayon man ay ‘di man din tayo makapaglabas ng alak.”

“Isa pa talaga, kuya, at ilulunod kita sa ilog,” Goyo warns, completely angry and depressed with another paper being wasted after another dripped that caused another blot.

“Goyong naman oh!” Julian pleaded, before turning a casual look at Vicente, who’ve been quiet all along. He smirked. “Mukhang malalim ang iniisip ng kapatid mo, Jose.”

At that remark, all of them turned to look at Vicente who remained oblivious, still looking out at the small window of the hut they’ve been sharing. His eyes fixated on to the nearby hut where General Luna and his closest confidants were. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Vicente suddenly spoke out of the blue, “Paano ba hadlangan ang pusong umiibig?”

“Kuya?” Inquired Jose. The rest were bewildered with how strange Vicente was talking. Apparently, it was only Goyo who doesn’t seem to have read the situation correctly that he snorted, smiling after finally giving up with writing today’s entry.

“Makukuha mo lang naman siya sa isang tingin eh,” Goyo started. “Ngitian mo tapos gumawa ka ng hakbang para makapagusap kayo.”

The three others who were in remained quiet. The three of them thinking the same thing: “Tanga nga itong si Goyong sa pag-ibig. Di alam kung ano ang totoong ibig-sabihin ni Enteng. Nagsalita ang magaling.”

They waited for Vicente to say something again, but he sighed heavily first before saying, “Ang hirap kasi. Pakiramdam ko na bago pa ako makagawa ng hakbang, babalatan na ako ng buhay ng Punong Heneral.”

“At bakit mo naman iyon nasabi? Sino ba yang inii—” Julian interrupted Goyo by covering the latter’s mouth. The older del Pilar chuckled and said, “Hindi ka naman babalatan ng Punong Heneral, Enteng. Panigurado ay babasahan ka muna nung—” And so, Juan del Pilar interrupted Julian, doing the same thing that the latter had done, assuring later on, “Hindi iyon totoo! Susuportahan ka namin kahit ano pa naman—” Jose placed his hand to cover Juan’s mouth, and annoyingly, he asked, “Sino ba kasi, kuya? Kahit sino na, ‘wag lang yung inampon ng Punong Heneral.”

But Vicente’s flush was enough to answer that troubling question. And what trouble it truly was to be secretly in love.

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[23meraki]

Secrets  [A “Heneral Luna” and “GOYO: Ang Batang Heneral” one-shot]

If General Luna didn't die, and became Joven's adopted father... how will he meet—fall in love—with Colonel Enriquez?

// Part 2

Joven could still remember that day that he first saw the Colonel. It was during the time that his now foster father, General Antonio Luna, had received the audience that the young General del Pilar had petitioend for with the rest of his officers. It was when the Colonel himself was asked by his general to deliver the message beforehand the meeting, and Joven was having tea and ensaymadas with the rest of his father's closest confidants. At first meeting alone, his eyes were pinned on at the guest; only diverting to hide the blush when their eyes met for a second.

It had been a brief encounter alone, since his father immediately dismissed the Colonel to report back to the Boy General that they were meeting each other in few days time to strategize their next plan of fortifying the northern regions as originally planned before that misunderstanding in Cabanatuan that ended as a fiasco for the Kawit Brigade. Anyhow, Joven was expectant of the meeting. Especially if that would mean that he'll be seeing the Colonel again, befriend him, and be within approach.

"Heneral, bakit po kayo pumayag makipagkita kay Heneral del Pilar? Hindi po ba at hindi siya sumadyang humarap sa inyo noong tayo'y nasa Bagbag?" asked Paco with a curious frown, worried that a misunderstanding will happen again just like that of in Cabanatuan.

Rusca almost choked on his tea before chuckling. "Baka nga paborito ni Señor Presidente si Heneral del Pilar, pero mas mataas pa rin ang posisyon ng ating Heneral. Tsaka, Bulakeño yun. Di naman Caviteño. Hindi yun tatakbo hangga't kailangan. Magkakasundo sila panigurado ni Heneral."

"At yung huling beses..." General Luna trailed off with a wistful smile. "Kung di dahil kay Mascardo, baka nagtagumpay tayo depensahan ang Calumpit at ang Quingua. Kaso nga lang..." He laughed. "Caviteño talaga. Asahan mong lagi silang maghahanap ng gulo porket ang Señor Presidente ay isang Caviteño."

"Ang mga nasa ilalim po ba ni Heneral del Pilar ay mula saan, Tay?" Joven suddenly inquired out of curiousity. After all, if the Colonel was under General del Pilar, it would mean that they were from the same province. And he'll want to know as much detail as he could have. Additionally, he still found it weird regarding General Artikulo Uno as his father.

The rest of the officials stopped for a second on their foods and drinks to look at him. A long moment of silence settled as they turned to their general for any reaction. A second later, his foster father turned away as he covered his face with his hands and the others hurried next to him in comfort.

Joven was dumbstrucked about the reason, and remained helplessly traversing the darkness with the unanswered question.

All the while the officials gathered to assure General Luna that he heard right; the latter muttering, "Tinawag niya akong 'Tay'."

The day of the meeting with the forces of General del Pilar came much faster than Joven had thought. To be honest, he had been eagerly waiting. He had wished that it would be sooner, and now, the meeting was being conducted.

Joven stood close to where the Bernal brothers were just as the two generals finally came face-to-face with each other, as well as their next ranking officials—General Luna with Colonel Román and Captain Rusca; while General del Pilar with his brother, Colonel Julian del Pilar, and the same colonel who've delivered the message, Colonel Vicente Enriquez.

"Tignan mo nga naman itong si Goyo," Manuel whispered to his younger brother, Jose, nudging him by the side with a smirk. "Bayani ng Bulacan."

"Kuya!" scolded Jose as a whisper, stopping the older Bernal from being disrespectful.

The eyes of the rest of Luna's troops might be on General del Pilar; the same way that del Pilar's troops were on General Luna. But it had been much more embarrassing for Joven, since he was looking at one of the men who flanked the young and handsome general. The same man he had seen few days prior.

As if his thoughts had travelled on, the Colonel suddenly turned to his direction, catching his eyes. Joven instantly flushed, but before looking away, he noticed the Colonel smiling at him. That charming and captivating smile.

It hadn't gone unnoticed. Apparently, even if it was noticed by the officials, especially by the two generals, they didn't commented about it. Even when the two managed to finally have a formal introduction with each other, the others remained acting oblivious over the matter.

As the rest of the soldiers under General Luna and General del Pilar worked together, the time that Joven had with Colonel Enriquez also became frequent. Of course, Joven's foster father would not allow him to just wonder around without an officer with him. Most of the time, he was asked to come along with wherever Jose Bernal would be like some bodyguard of his. Too bad that his father would not even allow him to get-along with the forces of General del Pilar; and all he could do was to steal glances at a certain Colonel.

It was only during dinner after a few days that the discussion was brought on board. Despite being meant to work closely together, the generals had decided to take their meals at different times. Though they were offered the same food, they won't seat at the same time in front of a meal. It was all due to the fear that enemy attack would sprang at any moment, and well, there's the underlying inquiry that both generals couldn't be killed at the same time if there would be some poisoning or something. So, that time, it had been Joven, his father, and his father's officials who were seated on the table first.

"Heneral, baka maaraing hayaan na natin si Joven na makapag-ikot-ikot sa kampo magisa," Jose brought up. If Jose was to be asked, he was already fed up with having to always snap Joven from his daydreaming everytime that they were to be close with General del Pilar's men, especially when Colonel Enriquez was around. "Alam naman po ng lahat na ng sundalo rito na kapag napahamak si Joven, sa inyo sila malalagot."

His father regarded him for a second before turning to the other officials. "Joven, kay Manuel ka naman sumama."

Manuel suddenly stopped eating. "Heneral... Seryoso ba kayong hayaan si Joven na malayo sa lugar kung saan pinakaligtas? Alam niyo naman po kung saan ako naka-atas."

"Eh di kay Rusca," the General remarked on, but Rusca gave him a pointed look.

Joven remembered that the General had allowed him to be with Captain Rusca for a few hours, and when he heard the latter teaching Joven to curse, he immediately regretted it, giving his captain a long set of lecture not to be a bad influence.

"Paco?" the General suggested another time. But to follow Paco meant to be close to him as well. And any position close to him has a danger trailing on. He sighed. "Jose..."

"Tay, kaya ko naman po protektahan ang sarili ko," Joven interjected.

"Noong una at huling hawak mo nga ng baril, nabaril ka."

"Pero, tay... Tama naman po si Kuya Jose—"

The rest of the officials turned to Jose at that point, before the latter turned away as he brushed a sleeve across his face and Manuel, who was seated next to him, gave him a pat on the shoulder.

His father smiled with great joy, relief and pride, urging him to continue on.

"Di naman po ako mapapahamak basta't napapaligiran ako ng mga sundalo pong tapat sa inyo at kay Heneral del Pilar," Joven added.

Suddenly, all of the officials turned to him another time. The smile dropped from his father that seemed to make the room have a dark aura going on. He suddenly wondered if he had said something wrong.

The General stood from his seat, his heighttowering them all right now. He then stated, "Wala akong problema sa mga sundalo ni Goyo. Ang kinakatakot ko ay kung anong binabalak nung Koronel na kasama niya sa iyo."

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For more fanfiction/one-shots: see MASTERLIST