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vampyrial · 2 years ago

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A World For Her Alone | Color all my days blue, but be sure to save one for white

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

cw (chapter specific): pregnancy, infidelity, sanity slippage, suicide

pairing: claude x fem!reader

summary: Reader really thinks she can be happy in MY story this soon? *scoffs* No way, baby!

author's note: I fear you guys aren't gonna like me for this one...more notes at the bottom

You drifted through moments you’d lived so many times before. The moment you returned, you thought for the thousandth time “this time, I swear I’ll do it right.” It was like a bedtime prayer, worn down to meaninglessness. A little lullaby on your lips, like a child searching for comfort.

There was no where else to go but back to assuming your dutiful role. This time, perhaps because your feet were barely touching the ground. Reality glitched frequently these days, if you could call them that. You tolerated Claude and Diana without even so much as a frown. And this time also, you protected her life like a tiny candle flame against the wind. Diana was well enough to start going to the academy with you, a rite of passage as much as a means of generalized education for children of noble houses.

At lunch, you sat alone in the gardens while they went to the dining hall together. If you tried hard enough, you could make out a voice in those memories. A blink of what you think could be black hair and a boys uniform, he’s floating through you as thin as air. He’s telling you something, in a voice cold, flinty and familiar. “Claude is with Diana again.” Something is being implied in these words almost bluntly and ill concealed.

Your answer is rote, automatic. “Yes, he knows I prefer to be alone but my sister is new and doesn’t know anyone so he keeps her company.”

“Is that so?” He smiled bitterly as if he hadn’t expected that answer.

“Of course.”

“I wonder why you cover for him…” Those words passed you by without impact, they seemed more like your own thoughts than anything.

“Everyone always says Diana is better suited for Claude, that perhaps he’ll break the engagement to be with her.” Again, no impact. You already lived it, silly rumors couldn’t even amount to half the horror of the truth. “I hope you won’t take offense, milady, but perhaps you should fight harder. There are more rivals about you than just the young lady. I had heard you were a strong willed lady, will your position really be okay if you leave things be?”

He went away, or maybe you just blinked and the lunch period had passed, you couldn’t know. As if a machine, you thoughtlessly gathered your things as the piercing bell sounded and hurried you along. You caught a glimpse of Claude walking Diana out of the dining hall, her hand wrapped around his arm for support and his on the small of her back. Murmuring again to yourself, you looked away. But when Diana caught sight of you, she came over, looking bashful. “Your next class is this way too, right? Should we go together?” She asked. Of course, there was only one answer to that question. You’d risk being seen as bitter and jealous if you refused, there was already enough of that in the way Claude saw you. He was eyeing you, paused in his path.

You smiled. “Of course.”

Claude said farewell to Diana, apparently satisfied enough by your answer not to fix you with a hard stare. The two of you walked along, all the time you could hear whispers, concrete ones instead of the thin, almost sing-song caches of remembered insult.

“She pulled her aside to call her out…”

“She must be angry about Lord Claude eating with the poor lady.”

“She’ll act one way before her fiance and another to Lady Diana…if she’ll act that way to ladies who haven’t even done anything to her, think of what she’ll do if she thinks her own sister is a better match for Claude.”

People had gossiped about you forever, it was truly nothing new. Perhaps you had even deserved their contempt for behaving the way you did. Still, your skin burned as you heard the words shamelessly hurled at you even at your most mild action. Their slander was almost laughable in hindsight, you and Diana were sisters, if you had any desire to call her out, would you not do it at home where no one could interfere?

Diana walked along, fidgeting with the threads of her uniform and looking down. It was additional kindling for the gossip that spread like wildfire. “You’re not upset that I ate lunch with Claude, are you?” She finally said, looking up at you. “No, of course not,” You assured her, smiling again which seemed convince her. Her expression became bright again as she happily accepted your platitude. You walked on, in a haze.

Each night, you worked diligently on your wedding dress. It was something that could definitely have been left to a seamstress but it brought a bit of happiness. Your fingers moved deftly over the silk of your dress, the cool fabric bringing you back down to earth. The sensation of your aching hands, the way your gown was slowly woven into form by your careful hands, it made you dream of your wedding which would take place soon after your graduation. It made you believe that the happiness you acquired would hold up. Claude was not displeased with you this time, and had even started to relax in your presence. You even saw him more often this time, a few weeks ago he had taken you to a botanical garden. As a pair, you stood closely and walked quietly down rows of exotic flowers. Inside, you could hardly restrain a hope that nearly ripped a painful wound through tender flesh. He took your hand when the two of you needed to pass by another couple, it was warm and forgiving.

You had to put down your needle, your hands were trembling.

On your wedding day, it was overcast. You were nearly suffocating just looking up at the sky, when your maid opened the curtains in the morning, you curled into yourself to cut off the dull light.”Hm, looks like rain,” she hummed. Pushing back against the memories, you retreated under the waves of your mind and buried yourself there. It was a shame that the feeling of reality slipping was temporary. Things only felt more and more fixed the longer you lived.

When you arrived to the temple, its solid stone and thousands of hanging candles that substituted the sun, you felt better. Here you were living between earth and heaven. All nerves and butterflies, you felt like a true bride, one fashioned in the love of her husband to be. You felt beautiful in the pure, stark white of your gown.

“...I swear in the name of my good house, to love and honor you for as long as you shall live. Never will you be disgraced by any action or inaction of mine,” Claude said his vows, not hesitating on a single word. That was the man you loved, lying before his family and comrades for the sake of the marquisate. It…almost made you smile to hear his devotion even if it was not to you.

Looking at you, after the ceremony and formalities were done, you heard Claude speak honeyed words in an awed voice that made you shudder. “So beautiful…” He murmured. Forgetting yourself, you gasped softly, feeling the rapture and confusion of his approval. And he was so near you, sitting at your side. You could reach out to him, to cup his cheek, to place a hand on his shoulder perhaps, to return something to him.

Diana’s laugh sounded, a clear and lovely laugh that always did make everyone smile. The sound was sharp and near and you noticed that Claude’s eyes were staring through you. They seemed fixed on your face but his gaze, it was like yours had been before. As if you and everything else was passing through. You turned as though possessed to confirm that although he was looking in your directions, the praises went to your little sister who indeed looked beautiful. More like a bride than you did; blushing, chatting with a few young ladies and a lord you vaguely recognized.

You were freefalling back to earth in an instant. The wind was knocked out of your chest and your surroundings seemed to sharpen, too bright, too loud, too colorful. Not even this day of all days was yours alone. Agony, you thought, Carrying the weight of every life I've led and still having hope enough to destroy, this must be agony.

Your marriage henceforth was nothing special, you applied a lighter hand in the politics of the marquisate. You tried at being cunning, underhanded rather than an iron lady as you had been before. Claude had expressed his gratitude whenever he was home. It was not a warm marriage, or a joyful home but he was pleased with you and the two of you were on better terms than you had been in other lives. The frigidity was bearable and as a partner, Claude was gentle.

When would you learn not to lean into things that cannot last?

A day came perhaps two years into your marriage when Claude walked into the salon, holding the hand of Diana who looked sickly. He approached you like one does an animal they’re not sure won’t bite them. His eyes were hard and determined but his steps were slow and sure.

“It isn’t Diana’s fault,” He forewarned.

“Is there something wrong?” It came out of your mouth almost beyond your control, even dreading whatever came next you were still desiring to make it better.

Claude hesitated before speaking. “Diana is pregnant.”

Something fell from your hands with a loud, clang. You didn’t so much as glance downward. Continuing as if a doll with a string being pulled, you answered with a question. “Who’s the father?” Stupid, how pathetic. Reality, all the time, was falling down on top of you.

“I am.”

It broken open. Whatever force kept you standing and speaking coherently had gone away and you were reduced to a child, whimpering and feeble. “Why?” was all that could be accurately comprehended.

“Because I love her,” Claude retorted shamelessly with his brow furrowed, giving you a stern look as if he was standing up to someone. But all that you were was a woman withering, struggling to grasp a single thread of sanity.

A child. Diana had a child. You couldn’t even hold yours before you died and slipped away forever. You would never even so much as know the name of your child and even so, Diana would have hers with Claude. That child would surely be loved by him, it was loved even now it seemed. Would she have that child you lost? A bright haired child crying out to let everyone hear their vigor and life. You screamed.

“I’m sorry big sister…” Diana mumbled, looking down. Claude tended to her, leading her to the couch and covering her ears with his big hands.

You were on the ground, gripping at your own skin so tightly your bled. Shivering in a display larger than any you’d ever made before. Another scream built in the back of your throat and you hadn’t even the power to restrain it. In between, you heard Claude say “Stay here, I’ll take her upstairs.”

You were shut up in your bedroom, made to rest until you were calm. But when his touch disappeared and the door locked behind him, you broke. Reality was intercut with the screams, the aches, the blood of realities past. It was all happening concurrently, Felix’s blood running in the mud, the cries of your child who could not and would not be soothed in your arms, the starvation of the prison. It didn’t end, it never ended. You were given a few years before it wanted you to remember again, to swallow you whole.

“No more” you begged “Please, no more...I can’t…I didn’t–!”

There was a sleep tonic in the drawer of your nightstand, a strong one made and prescribed by the kind doctor. The recommended dose was just a tiny spoonful but it always put you into a sleep like death. You took them when your body was heavy from working so hard it nearly bowed your back but your mind was hung up on a thought that did not beckon sleep. Like the sound of the rain howling that night.

You picked up the bottle and drank it all down.

additional author's note: you guys, I swear this will have a happy ending. And we've got one chapter to go before we get into something I think might make you guys feel a little better.

tags:@kage-tobiuo @kreishin @rosephantomhive@yeahdrarry @splaterparty0-0 @dear-dairiesss @qluvrv @hafsuhhh @eissaaaa @ayolk @doan-19 @fourcefulcupid @ariachaos @cerisearan@irisspade@yaesflorist@jcrml@xiaosprettygf@yevenly@amaris08atoshi012022 @obsessed-with-a-fictional-man @softbummiee

#claude de alger x reader #claude x reader #wmmap x reader #wmmap fanfic #claude de alger obelia x reader #manhwa x reader #x reader #claude de alger obelia

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lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 1 year ago

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Love Song for a Vampire Pt. 31

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Jacob Black x Witch!OC

Warnings: none

Words: 2107

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39

Edward's fingers tighten on the steering wheel at the three people standing in front of Sam's cabin. Neither of you move, not right away at least as his eyes switch from Sam, to Jacob, and finally landing on Bella. Both of you gauge the situation, why both Bella and Jacob were there. Hesitantly, you glance at Edward; his fine jawline is clenched tightly. Wounds were still healing, not yet even scabbed over from when he made the decision to move on from Bella and take a chance with you.

You’re overly aware of this and perhaps self conscious about your fresh relationship that could so easily be squashed.

That was if you weren’t so worried about why Jacob was there. While you could sniff out Evita's citrus scent, she was nowhere to be found and that caused you to worry even more. Sam didn’t look concerned about his presence but you proceed to cautiously unclip your seatbelt and swing open the door.

The outside air struck you with a new type of energy you’d never felt before. It zaps your brain and fills your lungs with zest. The hairs on your arms stood at attention and even produced goose pimples along your tanned and scarred skin.

Round eyes turn to Sam in question. Not needing the pack telepathy, Sam just shoots you a tired smile. “Nice to see you two back safely. You missed out on quite the show.”

“Show?”

”It was more than a show.” Bella abruptly counters, her cheeks normally so pale were looking feverish-pink. She struggles to find the proper words to describe what she had witnessed. You'd never seen Bella's face so lively. The few times you were around her, she tended to have a shy and contemplative expression that hid what she was truly feeling. That mask crumbled in the charged air that swirled still around the cabin. “It was an experience.”

To explain better, Sam adds “Evita was making the first ward.”

You want to groan for having missed it. Being with Edward in Alaska though would never be something you regret doing. There would be other chances to see Evita at work.

Finally, Jacob spoke up instead of looking blankly into the distance. “Definitely quite the experience.” All youthful light was erased from Jacob’s face making him older. Yes being a shape shifter had sped up your growth so that everyone in the pack looked to be the age of a young adult where before acne and baby fat were present. But imprinting and coming to terms with it robbed him and created dark circles around his eyes as well as heavy lines between his brows from where his face was fixed in a permanent scowl.

His frame even appeared to have lost some muscle mass from being cooped up in a small room. You made a mental note to talk to him later, just the two of you. Before all of this supernatural mess happened, you and Jacob had been very close friends. Out of him, Quil and Embry, Jacob lived closer to your house. He’d been your first playmate to go to before fetching the others. He was the first to go through the transformation. The first to pull out of your intimate group.

You’d felt hurt in the beginning along with Quil and Embry. That hurt had been worked out though once you too went through the change. You want to be there for him and help him through such a difficult time.

Nervously, Bella finally addresses Edward who was trying to casually lean against the hood of his car and pretend that seeing her didn’t effect him at all. “The Denalis?”

Edward nods. “They’ll have our back and hopefully keep Irina in check until we can get the rest of the wards up. But. . . It definitely wouldn’t be a bad idea to find more allies.”

Sam frowns but nods. “I figured. Do we have a timeline to work with? How long would it potentially take for the Volturi to find out?”

“It could be a matter of days.”

Some life springs onto Jacob. “Days? Just one ward nearly made Evita pass out She won’t be able to make five more if all we have are just days.” You detect a protective tone in his voice making his words come out more harsh. One glance from Sam has Jacob back in line though. Still, his hands clench and unclench anxiously at his sides.

“We have to work with what we got.” Sam replies in a steady stream. “Maybe there’s something we can do to help her out. We may not have magic ourselves but there’s got to be even the smallest task that we can help her out with. Leah mentioned something about Evita calling a friend to help her. Hopefully this is true and that friend is on their way.”

You wonder what a friend of Evita’s would look like. Evita herself didn’t really dress like the stereotypical witch that you’d seen on tv. She dressed in comfortable clothes much like you and the rest of your pack members: Tank or loose shirt, shorts and running shoes. Would this witch be the same? Would it even be another female?

You nod to Sam’s words. “We can’t loose hope just yet. But we have a lot of work ahead of us. Edward called Carlisle and Jasper on our way back to inquire about their connections with other nomads and clans.”

“I believe Jasper has already set off on his search.” Edward says, able to hear the thoughts of his family members from leagues away. “Carlisle will be leaving in a few days once he gets his records together. He’s written down all the nomads he’s come across in his life.”

While you voiced a positive outlook, you did have a worry toward the nomads. Through the speaker phone of the car, Carlisle did admit that he may have spent time with them, but couldn’t say he overly trusted them. Vampires didn’t really trust one another. So why would the risk the wrath of the Volturi for people they have never met? Worse may be when they find out about your pack. The elders will be uncomfortable with the prospect of so many vampires being harbored near their home.

They may not even be vegetarian which would be addressed when you came up to that hurdle.

Like many of your worries of the future, you force them to the back of your mind. They had no place in your thoughts, not now. You’d take one day at a time. Focus on the present. That was all you could do. Even Alice, who could see into the future, could do little in the end.

“Get her home safely.” Sam faces Edward. “It must have been quite the drive and I know her parents are worried about her.”

“We should get going too, Jake. Charlie doesn’t like me driving home at night now.” Bella bumps her arm against Jacob who still held a vacant quality to his eyes. You can tell by the way he subtly angles his body that he wants to go back into Sam’s house where Evita is.

He didn’t even seem to acknowledge what Bella said at first but eventually he grounds himself back and stiffly nods his head. “Yeah, let’s get going.”

They trudge to Bella’s small car, watching as the headlights flick on; near blinding. Brakes groan and her car rolls back until she can turn the car around and head back down the road.

It doesn’t take too long for Edward to drive to your house. The front windows were glowing, alerting you that your parents were still up and waiting.

You couldn’t make yourself open the passenger door though and Edward didn’t appear to be in too big of a hurry to be rid of you. “Thanks for inviting me to Alaska. It really was a pleasure to meet others like you and your family. Reassuring.” It’s become an anxious habit of your’s to toy with Evita’s homemade protection charm.

“I would have insisted on your presence there. It’s thanks to you as a person that the others agreed to join us.” There’s a smile in his voice. Sweet, but he was definitely exaggerating on your role there. If anything you helped by being a good ambassador for the wolves.

Forgetting about your parents who were patiently waiting, the two of you sit there in a silence filled with the pounding drum inside of your chest. What excuse could you come up with to see him again? Did you need an excuse or could you simply ask him to hang out?

Ask him out on a date!

How could you when you’d never asked anyone out in your life?

I don’t want to embarrass myself.

How will you truly get to know him unless you explore on a date?

Thank whatever deity was looking after you because you wouldn’t have to worry any longer.

“When you’re free, I would like to take you on a date.” Funny how sheepish those words were and when you look over to him, his smile only widens. “I would really like to get to know you. Even the bits I’ve got have me wanting to know more.”

Your smile grows to an identical width. “I’d really like that. Call you later?”

A flurry took over Edward as he watched (y/n) close her front door.

When was the last time his cheeks hurt from smiling so much? Had to be when he was still a human. He could feel the strain though in his face as well as the smile that just couldn’t be wiped off.

(y/n) excited him.

When she was around, life was fun. Even as a human, there had been many tribulations that robbed Edward of his joy from a young age.

He’d have to think of something fun that she’d enjoy. Bella and (y/n), while being completely different from one another, shared the similar hobby of reading. Other than that, Edward still didn’t know much about her personal life. What did she want to do when she graduated high school? What did do when not on wolf patrol?

Entering the Cullen house, Edward knew by the look on Carlisle’s face meant that Edward would not be making any date plans that night. “Are you leaving too, Alice?”

Alice normally wore her leather jacket when she planned to travel or get some time to herself. In her hands dangle the keys to Jasper’s Ducati. “I have a long journey to make. I had a vision just a while ago.”

“A good one?” Edward asked hopefully.

Stars twinkle in the honeypot of Alice’s eyes. She wouldn’t say anything in case it would jinx her whole trip. But the glow in her eyes and her petite smile was enough for Edward. He’d hold onto that hope and nurture it. It was all he had.

Carlisle comes down the stairs with his own keys clutched in his hands. He stops in front of Edward and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll be okay. Keep an eye out for any Volturi activity.”

Alice paced them and opened the door. She glanced over her shoulder “I’ll call everyone if I have anymore visions.”

“You sure you don’t want to take me with you?” Emmett shoulders his way from the sitting room and leans against the doorframe. His expression is one of brotherly worry. “I know you can handle yourself, but I don’t like the idea of you being alone.”

She turned back around and with a big grin, Alice bound toward Emmett and threw her arms around him. He returned the gesture before letting her go. “I’ll be fine, Em. You take care of the home front.”

Edward and Emmett follow them out to the porch where Alice had already pulled out the Ducati from the garage and was situating herself atop of it. Carlisle gave Esme a quick kiss before he too descended down the porch steps and to his car.

From the sad downcast of Emmett’s face, Rosalie holds his hand and rests her head against his bicep. “There, there, Big Guy. She’ll be okay.”

Esme attempts to face them bravely. “Like Alice said, we must hold down the fort while they’re gone.”

“What if the Volturi come while they’re gone?” Rosalie whispered gravely. Her eyes trained on the back lights of Carlisle’s car until even her vampire eyes couldn’t find them.

Her question was carried off in the wind. No one dared to answer because none of them had one to offer.

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TAGLIST: @saltedcoffeescotch , @dangerouslittlefairy , @burn-crash-rqmance , @casedoina , @avadakadabra93 , @daryldixonstorm , @blue-aconite , @xanniestired666 , @esposadomd, @godinho11 , @arin-swear-rose , @alexizodd , @melaninsugarbaby , @lyeatoalinatoheaven , @ronwownsme , @itsmytimetoodream , @afro-hispwriter , @mutandis-extremis993 , @hxgemxscles , @nightly-polaris , @corrodedcoffins-slut , @ellesalazar , @itgetzweird08 , @crybabyatthediscooffandoms , @sassyandclassyx , @scarlet2007 , @theroyalbrownbarbie , @jennyamanda8 , @stevenandmarcslove , @biancaindaeyo , @loversjoy , @turningtoclown , @vixorell , @xxthackerybinxxx , @daredevilonmyheels , @dumbbitch-juice , @southern-bell-give-hell , @nat-the-gemini , @imdoingathingmom , @emmettcullenswife , @yoong1c0re , @daddykylokenobi , @minjix , @magical-spit , @krismdavis

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #twilight fandom #Twilight FanFic #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction

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technicallywrite · 7 months ago

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20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @envexenveritas, you're enabling me to procrastinate on writing a rather tricky scene.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just two but one of them is sort of a song parody (about writing fanfiction, to the tune of Losing My Religion), not a fic. But the question says 'works' and... for better or worse, it's a work, I guess.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

393,520 across both works but the song is just 273 so, yeahhhh. That should tell you everything you need to know about my One Fic.

(42 chapters so far, in case you're wondering, including one that was a whopping 20k+ words)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Doctor Who, specifically the new UNIT gang, with heavy emphasis on the Big Finish audios in terms of sourcing story material. I'm basically rewriting the new UNIT storyline, centered on the developing relationship between Osgood and Kate Stewart.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I mean, if we're specifically talking fics, I have just the one. So it's my best fic and my worst fic at the same time, on any metric you choose to apply!

My Cosmos is Yours, aka Cosmos or sometimes Cosmosgate, has 297 kudos so far. Also, 30 bookmarks and 10,493 hits, in case that matters.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Do I reply to comments? Hah. Yes, yes I do. Religiously. Not always immediately, as sometimes I need a bit of time to digest them before replying; but I do read them all right away and I reply to everything eventually.

I welcome every kind of comment, from one-line "GAAHAHHHHHH" eructations to multi-paragraph analyses, rambles and vocal if not always coherent expressions of enthusiasm.

Funny thing, there's a bit of a culture of commenting that has grown around Cosmos. For reference, it has 1,194 comments (though half of that are replies from me).

Part of it, I suspect, is that word has got around that I'm pathetically needy for comments (I make no secret of it), so most of my regular readers have got into the habit of feeding me comments at every chapter, which is very lovely of them. And perhaps because there are so many comments on every chapter, some of the more occasional readers do also seem to find themselves motivated to leave comments, which is a wonderful effect, if true.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I haven't finished a fic yet so, no overall endings to speak of, but if I look across the 42 chapters I've written so far, Chapter 38: Endgame has got to be the most grim in terms of where it leaves Osgood and Kate.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hah well if we apply the same principle of looking across Cosmos chapters, Chapter 42: Life, the Universe and Everything has got to be the winner, with no fewer than three happy endings (one of them a double), if you'll pardon the phrase.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far, no. I occasionally get razzed by my British regulars for committing Americanisms (most famously, writing 'faucet' instead of 'tap') but it's all in good fun.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. Though I've been told it's not actually smut, it's erotica, which is the best compliment I can imagine. It's all character-driven, and it's very necessary to the story (I say to justify myself). I won't put any labels on it; I'll just say that by intent, it's loving, it's very mature, but it's never unnecessarily explicit. Though it does get people quite hot under the collar, reportedly, which is very gratifying!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Well, I did pull in Malcolm Tucker from "The Thick of It" for one chapter, and he'll be showing up again because he's so fun to write. But it's not a zany kind of crossover.

I don't think I have any crazy crossovers in me, at least not at this moment in time; when I'm in the mood for that sort of thing I go to Lambrookmist.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'd be terrible as a fic co-author. I've co-authored a technical book in my professional life and it went well enough (the book got published and we're proud of it) but I suspect it was a frustrating experience for my co-author. I'm very critical and I change my mind about important stuff all the time.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Osgood/Kate Stewart obviously. With a side of Gabrielle/Xena and Janeway/Seven. There may be a pattern there.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm like a dog with a bone, I will finish everything, eventually. Although with Cosmos, I can't imagine running out of story to tell anytime soon. It could take years. Unless I find a good stopping point and just finish + start a sequel. That's an option.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Accurate characterization, I think? I'd like to think I do a pretty decent job with pacing and balancing action vs. talk. Also my real-life scientific/technical background helps me write credible plot details for our two favorite science geniuses.

From a stylistic standpoint, I've been told my writing has a cadence and musicality that's very enjoyable. That's something I care a lot about, so, yay.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm painfully aware that I overuse certain phrases. And I overthink things a lot, so it takes me ages to ship out new chapters. Especially now that I have a full time day job again, which I didn't when I started writing Cosmos— long story for another time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

A few lines here and there can be very helpful when the setting calls for it (the characters are abroad, or working with people from different cultural backgrounds) but you don't want to overdo it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well, I wrote a one-off Picard/Crusher ficlet in the late 90s, so I'm legally obligated to say Star Trek: TNG. But I never wrote anything else (fic-wise) until Cosmos.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Surprise, it's Cosmos!

In case anyone is curious, I'm about 1/3 of the way through writing Ch. 43, so hopefully it won't be nearly as long til the next update. (For reference, it took me three months to get Ch. 42 out.)

I think I'm supposed to tag some other writers now? Let's say @starfleetwitch, @kowarth, and gosh I need to look up some usernames. Will add those later. Got to go feed my family now.

EDIT: adding @colourmestoked04 to the taggees

#fanfic #cosmosgate #writer life #about the author

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th3b4dk1dzz · 8 months ago

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Just Dance Story Mode 2025 predictions

Song 1- (Night Swan) Queen of the Kings by Alessandra Mele

I picked this song because this song matches her bravado and self-glorifing ideals. She refuses to see herself as a perpetrator, instead seeing herself as a self-liberated queen who deserves everything she has achieved.

In the background, we see the corrupted Just Dancers doing her bidding, rounding up captured coaches, causing destruction and devastation (sort of like evil Canned Heat)

Song 2- (Jack Rose) Grenade by Bruno Mars

So this song takes place as Jack is about to embark on his mission to save his friends. He's so done with his mother at this point and he's finally letting this anger and defiance

During the bridge, Jack connects to the flow in a new way that is able to cut through his mother's dark flow. Not enough to truly break Night Swan's control over the Just Dancers but is essentially the helping hand or first step to breaking control themselves.

Song 3- (Sara) Dog Days are Over by Florence + The Machine

I think it's about time Sara had her own character centric dance. Especially since we didn't get to see her as herself much in story mode this year.

Over the course of the routine, she is able to remember the joy of dancing alongside her friends and being in the Danceverses, thus breaking free of the connection to Night Swan as she no longer dances for admiration like her.

Song 4- (Mihaly) Tilted by Christine and the Queens

Tilted is a song about a rejection of the concept of perfection and to embrace being 'good enough'. We know perfection is something we've seen them struggle with, even leading to an infatuation with Night Swan at one point so it'd be interesting to see them let go of the constant struggle and free themself of an unachievable goal.

Perhaps we see a flashback to the first time they met Master Panda or got in tune with the flow. This memory inspiring their change back.

Also, Christine and the Queens is a trans, gender non-conforming artist, which I think would be really imactful for the first canonically Nonbinary character in the franchise to dance to.

(I also want an alternative routine inspired by the official choreo)

Song 5- (Brezziana) Fighter by Christina Aguilara

In JD2024, Brezziana has two (2) songs about overcoming heartbreak and becoming stronger because of it. This might be a glimpse into a potential backstory for her where she had her heartbroken and had to rebuild it from scratch.

Perhaps it's this memory that inspires her to keep fighting and be the light and strength for others she can be.

Song 6- (Wanderlust) King by Years and Years

I think this song could serve as a double meaning, both Wanderlust wanting to regain control of his body in the present to stop Night Swan but also wanting control of his own destiny in being the chosen one which by the end of the dance he is ready to fight for both.

I left Wanderlust till last because in the past, he has been the one to rally the team, so I wanted an opportunity for the team to come to his aid. I just think it'd be a narratively satisfying moment.

Song 7- (Final Battle) Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes

The song has these big guitar riffs that would be good for some epic duet moments, then having the bass and drum beats as tension building and story moments

What I'm going back and forth on is how to appropriately end the story mode so I have decided to leave it up to a poll.

A) The Just Dancers are fully victorious. Night Swan is defeated thus ending the story as a trilogy

B) Night Swan is defeated. However, her defeat is overshadowed by a new, more powerful main bad guy, thus continuing the story

C) Night Swan is helped by an ally to escape again before she can be overpowered. Maybe she gets an important maguffin along the way.

D) Night Swan is about to win but The Just Dancers retreat and escape, maybe unintentionally into the clutches of a more powerful enemy.

#just dance #just dance lore #jd sara #jd wanderlust #jd brezziana #jd mihaly #jd jack rose #jd night swan #just dance story mode #Spotify

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zylphiacrowley · 7 months ago

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5 10 Songs I'm Into rn

I was tagged by both @hythlodaes and @midnightmagicks so... I'm gonna list 10 songs instead because I have so many I always want to list for these. Not tagging anyone else because my memory is bad and I don't remember who all has done it anymore, but if you haven't and you want to do it, tag me in it and tell 'em I sent you! Under a cut to save your scroll wheel.

Orion by IVEEN

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I had to go back and make sure I didn't list this one the last time I was tagged in this. Good news I didn't! So now I get to link it! Beautiful harp music and IVEEN has ethereal mermaid fairy vibes.

2. Glass Piano by Kathleen

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Just a vibe tbh. Also like the stuttered lyrics.

3. I Don't Wanna Talk (I Just Wanna Dance) by Glass Animals

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Sometimes it be that way, don't it? Anything by Glass Animals is good tho (as long as it isn't Heatwaves... Heatwaves is a fine song I guess but it's been overplayed on the radio so that kind of ruined it for me).

4. Dh’èirich mi moch, b' fheàrr nach do dh’èirich by Julie Fowlis

youtube

I do not speak the language, but I feel like you don't have to. It's a very pretty almost bittersweet sounding song. Like reminiscing on a once happy memory that was somehow made sad but still brings you peace.

5. Technicolor Beat by O Wonder

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I guess it's appropriate that a song called "Technicolor Beat" would have a really nice beat and vibe to it.

6. Heart Worth Breaking by The Midnight

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Did I maybe use a line from this song for one of my Wolship things? Perhaps... I've been obsessed with The Midnight since the first time I heard them. Very much "driving through the city in the 80s, the rain hitting your windows and the neon lights illuminating the night" vibes. Also highly recommend both Shadows and Vampires (for the sexy sax solos).

7. We Keep On Running by What So Not & TOTO

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I... I'm pretty sure this is What So Not and The TOTO... like Africa TOTO. I've been obsessed with it lately tho.

8. Home by Katie Turner

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I found this while looking for sweet sappy love songs that evoke a sense of yearning lol. It didn't exactly work for what I was looking for at the time but it def delivers on all fronts (and I am putting a pin in it as a "maybe" for later).

9. By and Down the River by A Perfect Circle

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I've been vibing with my old high school era tastes in music again lately so that includes plenty of A Perfect Circle.

10. Soil by Cosmo Sheldrake

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This one is a super new release! I'm always down for some Cosmo Sheldrake. The whole album project that this song comes from is pretty good from what I've listened to so far. Also Cosmo Sheldrake is now intrinsically linked to Erenville in my brain because nature and wildlife and the fact that I had his music on repeat for hours when I was drawing him one day so there's that. :)

#Z speaks #tag games #Youtube

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denis-local · 9 months ago

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YALL, ITS YA BOI, GR4Y, AND I AM *BACK* WITH SOME *QUESTIONS*!! *insert fleshcousin yay sfx*

1. how many people buy the 💖yassified💖 fafa (i'd eat it tbh)

2. where'd boots get the 💖yassified💖 boots!? gawhdamn those are long

3. did cashier open the icecream freezer yet, i wanna buy some. (bonus, is there a 💖yassified💖 icecream flavor?)

4. Does Yassi-Spray exist?? Possibly under a different product name than Yassi-Spray? (bear spray, but for fending off the 💖yassified💖)

5. why in the FUCK is denis' tail getting stretched to oblivion in the 💖yassify💖 spectrum comic, i need to know (on the last few panels)

6. what new things can williamplayz (willyslayz) do now that he's 💖yassified💖

7. can pest sing (if so, which lady gaga song since he likes lady gaga)

8. has kasper ever tried to kill/execute (un)pleasant

9. can the 💖yass-virus💖 transfer through particles and what not

10. to add onto the last question, does kasper sneeze '💖yassify-particles💖' or something

11. oh dear dont tell me the 💖yassified💖 know how to do marketing and advertising, business, even...

12. how the FUCK did MR ring the doorbell (in the comic) when he has no hands

13. is kasper necessarily 'mad' at drretro for how she treats him (LIKE A LAB RAT. unacceptable smh)

14. does bive do blogs on the internet or something how that they're 💖yassified💖, instead of being a detective? OR DO THEY DO BOTH NOW

15. where does spud get his nails done

16. is split edible. strawberry.

17. what was the cocoon process like for pilby, how tf would it even work (since they're humanoid n stuff)

18. if bive gave reddy the 💖yass-virus💖, how the fuck did she do it?? some sorta malware program?

19. is lampert still a germophobe now that he's 💖yassified💖

20. did wallter and mark get back together perhaps (probably not)

21. what stuff DOES pest shoplift

22. what type of music does poob play at the parties

23. okay so yknow how fleshcousin has a big hole in the middle of their head? was that changed during the 💖yassification💖 process?

24. if pest bakes pie, he should start a bakery.

25. last but not least question: did kasper change their gamertag when they got 💖yassified💖.

shitton of questions i get it, but hey, thats me. (cringe too i think idk you tell me)

Another batch of questions hehehe >:D

(Another necessary cut off bdhsfqh)

1. I'd guess a lot, they are rather tasty tho also hallucinogenic

2. They probably found them in the back of the koby somewhere also they'd probably be one of the first mannequins to be infected lol

3. Never, he's hogging it all </3 (yes, mainly being sold at Crem's shop and Enphoso's store)

4. Just normal spray will do tbh, it's why Sarah carries it around ever since the outbreak started lmfao

5. My tail got infected *sobs* but dw Denis neva dies

6. More princess dresses with full faces of makeup much to Jermey's joy

7. Idk, but even if they could they would never do it haha

8. Kasper def has experimented some ways (Probably same as canon)

9. At first it was purely through bites so technically you could still smooch your yassified partner and not get infected, but as of late it seems to be getting more and more contagious. To the point it may be airborne now. Luckily Enphoso's store already has special air conditioners!

10. No, thankfully they cannot spread it through their germs. Not at all actually.

11. They absolutely do know how to do marketing and advertising </3 Enphoso is NOT helping

12. He found a way hehe

13. At first definitely, but he seems to have already forgotten about it! So he kinda forgives her!

14. Still does blogs, but it seems her new advertisements for the blog seem to be luring more people in. More people to spread the truth to!

15. Ya mama (jk, they were done by MrManeuver has a side business and for good prices!!)

16. No!!! Don't eat her cries

17. They probably got super tired and hungry at first, then made themself a cocoon, slept in it for a few days, and came out elegant as hell

18. Someway somehow a bite was enough. Even creatures made of materials that are not flesh don't seem to be safe either.

19. Yes absolutely, they probably have that clean girl aesthetic now

20. I think they're working on it (polite and fun don't mix well either I guess ah)

21. Still mainly coins, but will snatch a few lipstick tubes here and there. Now he can get away qith it more easily haha

22. Licky by Larry Tee and Princess Superstar (listen with headphones y'all)

23. Nah it's still there unless it mimics someone then they will just do the usual haha

24. He should! Maybe then he'll stop stealing coins haha

25. She would have, but he doesn't have enough robux </3

#regretevator au #yass infection au #ask post #funny lil questions haha #perfect excuse to infodump muwahahaha #also the next part is almost done #but my discord kittens /j dont gotta worry bout that they see the pages early #>:3

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suchacomet · 1 year ago

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Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

(By @winter-asleepening, tagged (kinda) by @feelssogoodinmyarms )

sorry for this being long and for jumping in on this out of nowhere, i got excited and i missed talking about this show now that i’m once again in my yearly spring awakening phase thanks to seeing a local production yesterday :)

1. How were you introduced to the show?

i was an emo kid trying to find musicals i liked bc i started doing theater in high school, i saw american idiot was made into a musical, and followed the john gallagher jr rabbit hole to a b00tl3g of obc spring awakening. this happened to be in 2014 and when i heard about dwsa on broadway i conned my mom into taking me to nyc to see it (i didnt tell her how sexual it was i just said “it’s about teens coming of age in germany set to rock music” and she had Words for me during that intermission lol)

2. Seen a production live?

yes, four: dwsa, a local college production, and two productions at local theater companies in the areas i’ve lived

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

y’all already know it’s moritz…. i imprinted on him when i was 14 and have never stopped being obsessed with him as a character. but i think it’s more likely i’d get the chance to play ilse before moritz and i would love to play ilse as well

4. Favorite male character

mort steeple :) i have never gotten enough of this dude, ever

5. Favorite female character

wendla <3 she’s such a good character when she’s played with the right amount of joy, stubbornness, and curiosity

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

dwsa all the way. i appreciate obc for what it is but dwsa is my definitive best revival/adaptation ever ever ever

7. Favorite song

comet on its way :) christ such a whole, like, deal 🙄😏

but if you force me to pick “a real song” that “is actually in the show” then… i think a production that has a really good “and then there were none” is killer bc it means 1. they’re focusing on my favorite boy moritz and 2. they have an adult woman who plays fanny gabor compassionately but flawed in a way that underscores the show’s themes around adults not trusting kids with their own minds and bodies. which i greatly enjoy

8. Least favorite song

this is unfair of me bc it never fails to make me cry and it has one of my favorite lyrics ever in it (window by window you try and look into this brave new you that you are) but it’s “the guilty ones” bc i think “there once was a pirate” is better. my hot take is that dwsa is only version of spring awakening i’ve ever seen where i actually prefer their use of guilty ones instead of pirate

9. Favorite quote/line

musical: so maybe i should be some kind of laundry line / hang their things on me / and i will swing ‘em dry / you just wave in the sun through the afternoon / and then see / they come to set you free / beneath the rising moon - don’t do sadness it’s just such an evocative description of feeling hopeless against all the pressures of life and perfectly encapsulates being 15 and desperate and just wanting a little bit of relief. plus the way daniel durant and alex boniello performed this is so killer. moritz stiefel i love you

play: “don’t let’s be sad […] if we recall this in thirty years, perhaps we shall make fun of it.——and yet everything is so beautiful. the mountains glow; the grapes hang before our mouths and the evening breeze caresses the rocks like a playful flatterer.” from hans in the vineyard scene. augh it’s just so tender and lovely in a way that the musical doesn’t have the time/ability to address, with the acknowledgement that yes this moment is temporary and who knows if ernst and hanschen will “make it”. and yet. everything is so beautiful. also PROOF THAT HANSCHEN ISNT A CREEP OR MANIPULATIVE HE IS ALSO A TEEN BOY IN LOVE FUCK YOU STEVEN SATER

10. Favorite TV performance

always and forever dwsa touch me on seth meyer i have seen it at least two hundred times and i’m not exaggerating

11. Favorite cast member(s)

daniel durant always always always. he is such a talent i’m so glad his career seems to be taking off, he’s genuinely one of the best actors i’ve ever seen in my whole life.

12. Favorite cast member moment

can i say 1st national tour cabaret where the boys performed comet on its way in order to bring up comet on its way again. if not it’s when i gave daniel durant a painting of him as moritz at stage door and i was a shy anxious teen who learned just enough asl to say “hi” and “thank you” and “will you sign my playbill please” and he was SO sweet to me and lovely and he hugged me and i know actors do that kind of shit all the time and i’m sure he doesn’t remember it but it really made my whole life when it happened :’)

13. Do you write fan fiction?

not outside of personal catharsis pieces that have never seen the light of day. i made an aloto/vineyard scene web weaving post though that i do think goes hard

14. Do you make fan art?

i still love the moritz and then there were none piece i did a few years ago but i haven’t done a whole lot past that… that may change though i want to get back into drawing

15. Do you cosplay?

no, but spring awakening costumes have 10000% influenced my real life fashion and hair decisions. lol

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

i just saw this GORGEOUS performance of dds/bw where ilse sobbed through her verse of blue wind and the rest of the cast like gathered around her and slowly peeled away to represent her memory/longing for real connection and the reality of her never really having that at all, and really underscoring that her spoken lines about her new life in the artist’s colony and wanting to take moritz home are just posturing to hide how lonely she is… so right now i think blue wind

17. Word of Your Body or the Reprise?

reprise when it’s done earnestly, but i do really love the lyrics in woyb

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

my junk! i love seeing the different ways it’s staged between georg and hanschen and the girls, plus it’s the only time the girls get to be horny

19. Explain the Song of Purple Summer

it’s a metatextual message from the story of spring awakening to the audience that underscores the themes of open and honest communication being the key to healthy people and relationships, it’s asking the adults in the audience to believe children (when they say they’re gay, when they ask for information and want to be given all of it, when they ask for help and say they want to die), it’s a message of hope to the kids in the seats who relate too much to the kids on stage, telling us that it will get better

20. Explain the Song of Purple Summer (wrong answers only)

horses fuck and have foal babies idk <3

that was very fun thank you for indulging me. if any of mine olde spring awakening/dwsa mutuals are still around please consider this me tagging you <3

#blah.txt #spring awakening #fandom tag #long post

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saras-dcla-events · 1 year ago

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Are you ready to Jam?

I've been talking about this for quite some time now, and finally it's ready!

They did this poster all by themselves be nice /hj

Jim and Yam is probably the most well known wlw ship from Soy Luna. However, there's surprisingly little fancontent for them. Sure, people do some posts every now and then, but when it comes to doing stuff like art and fics (fics especially), I've noticed quite a lack for it. It's like, yeah, people appreciate them, but they aren't the ones people prioritize first - which also makes them kind of underrated even when it's a well-popular ship, haha. Though, I feel like there has been lot more of them in the past year than there has been since literally the show started, and I wanna continue on that trail.

So, for a week, starting Monday September 25th and ending on Sunday October 1st , there will be Jam (or if you prefer them by JimYam) content every day! I thought a long while when to put it, and I did want it to be in september, and I remembered that on the 26th, it's the 2 year anniversary since I for the first time saw Soy Luna, so this would be perfect!

This week is made first and foremost for myself, so I can have an excuse to talk and make a bunch of content for them, but you are all very welcome to join in and create content as well! Anything from fics, art and edits to simple headcanon posts are welcomed! And, since this ship is non-canon, you are totally permitted to just depict them as platonic if you choose to make something for the event. Jamweek celebrates Jim and Yam, and that includes their relationship in all shapes and forms! Now, every day has a theme...

Day 1 is Past. This refers to literally anything taking place before the show. Maybe how Jim and Yam met. Maybe what they did during their summer vacation before season 1. Maybe some day in middle school where something happened to them. The imagination can and will run wild about their past. You can also be so wild and put them in another time entirely, set in the past. Wanna make a 50s AU? Sapphic 1800s AU? Past can mean a LOT of things!

Day 2 is School. Jim and Yam are at school a lot, so lots of things can happen to them there. Did they get up to some adventures at Blake? Maybe it takes place in the past again, this time in their elementary or middle school. Or perhaps at the university they both got in to? The things that can happen in a school setting is endless!

Day 3 is Skate. Roller skating time! Or, well, it just says "skate", so you can be wild and let it be like a skateboard or something instead. Are they practicing for a competition or are they just out skating for fun? Maybe they're trying a new move, or skate at an unknown place, causing things to not go as planned... we'll just see!

Day 4 is Date. How fun! Are they going on a date, or perhaps is it a date on the calendar they have to memorize for some reason? Maybe someone's birthday date, or the date when they will have their date! Haha! And if they're going on a date, what do they do? It feels like Jim and Yam can do a lot on their date!

Day 5 is Song. Is it a song someone sings? Is it a karaoke night? Maybe a song they hear on the radio that sparks a significance? Is someone of them writing a song? Songs can do a lot!

Day 6 is Secret. Who has a secret? Is it one of the girls? Is it someone else's secret they have to keep? Will we find out the secret or is it too secret for anyone to know? So many mysteries!

Day 7 is Future. What lies ahead in Jim and Yam's future? What are their careers? Are they married? Do they have kids? Pets? What's going on with them? Let's explore that!

Hope you're as excited as I am, because I will make so many jam-puns you will be so sick of it! x)

#jamweek #soy luna #jim x yam #jimyam #jimena medina #yamila sanchez

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manysmallhands · 11 months ago

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My Favourite Songs of 2023 part 4: 10 - 1

The final countdown! (synth melody plays)

Previous entries in the series can be found here, here and here.

10. Tyla - Water

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Water sounds like nothing so much as the romance novel version of the last night on a Caribbean holiday; the twitchy afrobeat rhythms feel slightly mischievous while the vibes are relaxed and extremely seductive. There’s plenty of fun to be had singing along to the group chorus but it’s the innocent charm of Tyla’s performance that really carries the song. Though Tik Tok is not really known for producing lasting careers, I’d like to hope she’ll go a long way.

9. GAYLE - Butterflies

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It’s fair to say that the abcdefu star has done little of note since her moment in the limelight but Butterflies is a surprise banger and might well be the best song on the already stacked Barbie soundtrack. Yes, it piggybacks on its pilfered Crazytown interpolation but GAYLE’s rapid fire vocal and fierce pop energy carry the day and make a good case for her working more often with this harder edged approach.

8. beabadoobee - The Way Things Go

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Bea’s sweet-toothed multigenre world has crept up on me more as the year's gone on but she’s never sounded better than she does on her most recent single. Her farewell to a dying relationship is given life by a delicately resigned vocal and set to an orchestral swirl so otherworldly that it entirely rubbishes her claim to be “not far from the ordinary”. There’s even a bit of a Harriet Wheeler impression on the outro to get the indieheads all teary, proving that beabadoobee is truly a renaissance woman.

7. Tate McRae - Greedy

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Always better when she ditches the sadgirl songs, Tate’s swipe at sleazy old men instead rides atop a wonderfully rolling rhythm and sports the kind of sticky hook that will still randomly pop up in yr head in 20 years time. This is played about once every half an hour on the radio at the moment and yet it's never made an unwelcome appearance, in fact it’s the song that I’d rather hear there more than anything else.

6. Doja Cat - Fuck The Girls

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While her hits cast a softer tone on what has become a totemic and obsessive personal crusade, Fuck the Girls was perhaps the most strident assault yet in Doja’s ongoing war with her annoying online stans. While the battle itself is probably not that compelling, Doja’s take on it is furious and funny enough to hold my interest and the rattling breaks and twitchy stand-up bass provide a hauntingly austere framework from which to launch her barbs. Truth be told, it just goes incredibly hard: what more can you ask for?

5. Charli XCX/Sam Smith - In The City

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In The City feels like Charli moving away from the Crash era, focused anew on 90s club culture and with that hard edged bass synth powering everything along. But more than anything, it’s a glorious shot of light, full of yearning and surprising melodic beauty, and with a happy ending out on the dance floor that - surprisingly for Charli - does not involve a car. And Sam Smith is good! Not bad like you think! Shut up over there!

4. Poppy - The Attic

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The Attic represents the cleanest example of Poppy’s pivot back to pop this year, for once ditching the goth adornments and going full on euphoric drum n bass. For someone who’s music often creeps and lurches along, The Attic is a surprising blast of musical weightlessness, full of skittering rhythmic energy and flashing piano chords. The lyrics as ever tell a different (and far more uncomfortable) story but by once more casting aside the idea of what a Poppy song ought to be, she’s made something new that blew me away completely.

3. Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine

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The surprise hit of a major artist’s career has always been a tricky area to navigate: for every Walk On The Wild Side there’s tended to be an equal and opposite My Dingaling. However, Mitski has managed to luck out here, with international success neatly falling into the lap of one of her very best singles. My Love Mine All Mine sounds like a sepia tinted 50s ballad, simple and elegant, with each flourish of piano or guitar cutting eerily through the song’s low-key veneer. And Mitski herself has never sounded better, the sombre warmth of her vocal seeming to express all the ambiguity that radiates from the heart of the song.

2. U.S. Girls - Tux

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Sounding for all the world like a classic era disco 12” that Meg has just happened to find down the back of the sofa, Tux also profits from an extended lyrical metaphor that’s so complicated and yet catchy that you’ll be singing along to every word before you’ve figured out what any of it means. Rare is the album cycle where U.S. Girls don’t release a top tier single or two and Tux manages to continue that very long winning streak.

1. Olivia Rodrigo - Vampire

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I can’t honestly say that Olivia Rodrigo’s theatrical disco banger stands way above everything else here (do not let anyone tell you that 2023 has been a bad year for music) but Vampire still hits hard all these months on. It’s a song that’s full of breathtaking moments: from the doof doof of the bass drum at the end of the first chorus to the surging harmonies in the second; the full-on sound assault that hits halfway thru to the rousing final step into “the way you sold me for parts” at the end; each one feels like a gut punch and yet they just keep on coming. Despite having listened to it many many times since the middle of this year, it hasn't even started to get old yet and is still perfectly capable of stopping me in my tracks. I’ve already said plenty about Vampire before so I won’t drag this on for too long, but in a year that perhaps for the first time has been more pop than rock for me, It feels fitting to have a record sat atop of it that embodies the best parts of each without ever feeling strained or clumsy, from an artist who spent 2023 truly finding her voice.

And that's it! If anyone read these posts and/or found them at all interesting, thank you for your time and i hope you liked some of the songs! Below is a Spotify playlist of the whole 40 (Kweli/Madlib aside, which is Soundcloud only), followed by a few of the songs that i might have picked had i only given things a bit more thought. And i rounded it off with Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift, which though not really eligible for a best of 2023 round up, was so inextricably bound up with the year that it feels like it should have its place somewhere. Sayonara!

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romantamsxiangshi · 2 years ago

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Translation of Tat Ming Pair's 1988 禁色 (Forbidden Colors)

Tat Ming Pair, comprised of instrumentalist Tats Lau and singer Anthony Wong Yiu-ming, drew from David Bowie's and the Pet Shop Boys' discographies for their uniquely experimental sound. 禁色, translated to "Forbidden Colors" and "Forbidden Love," is hailed as one of the first queer anthems of the Canto world. Notably, there are no pronouns in the song; the focus lies instead on a speaker "I" and their lover "you."

Translation:

窗边雨水 Rain puddles by our window 拼命地侵扰安睡 And pulls you thrashing from your sleep (1) 又再撇湿乱发堆 Once again, your hair's a mess 无需惶恐 But there's no need to fear 你在受惊中淌泪 You're trapped in your terror, weeping 别怕爱本是无罪 But your love is innocent. (2)

请关上窗 Please close the window 寄望梦想于今后 Can we dream of tomorrow, instead? (3) 让我再握着你手 Can i hold your hand again? 无需逃走 There's no need to run away. 世俗目光虽荒谬 This whole world is cruel, absurd, (4) 为你我甘愿承受 But if you would let me, i'd take it all for you

愿某地方 Someday, somewhere 不需将爱伤害 Nothing will hurt us. 抹杀内心的色彩 Right now, our love knows only its own death (5) 愿某日子 But someday, one day 不需苦痛忍耐 We will no longer need to endure anything 将禁色尽染在梦魂内 And our souls will know all their colors (6)

千种痛哀 Tonight, you only know your thousand sorrows 结在梦魇的心内 And your nightmares have ensnared your heart 愿我到死未悔改 And tonight, i wish to die with no regrets 时钟停止 For the clocks stand so still. (7) 我在耐心的等待 So i wait with a patient heart (8) 害怕雨声在门内 But i am scared of the rain at our door

愿某地方 Someday, somewhere 不需将爱伤害 Nothing will hurt us. 抹杀内心的色彩 Right now, our love knows only its own death 愿某日子 But someday, one day 不需苦痛忍耐 We will no longer need to endure anything 将禁色尽染在梦魂内 And our souls will know all their colors

若这地方 But if, here and now, 必须将爱伤害 The world must hurt us, 抹杀内心的色彩 Our hearts can know only their own deaths. 让我就此 So, let me go. 消失这晚风雨内 Let me disappear into this storm. 可再生在某梦幻年代 Perhaps we will wake up in a kinder tomorrow. (9)

Translation notes:

(1) A more direct translation would be "prevents you from falling asleep," with the characters 拼命 implying "struggling with all your will/life." I chose to make the rain the subject of this line, instead, to capture the loss of agency that echoes through the rest of the song.

(2) A more direct translation is "love, in its most original/base form, is innocent." I played around with the translation of "you've always known how to love, and your love is innocent"--it's all subjective!

(3) This line is not a question in its original form, but I chose to frame it as a conversation between speaker and subject.

(4) A more direct translation is "the perspectives of the orthodox are absurd," but that sounded too clunky to me. The stakes feel higher when the speaker is fighting against the whole world.

(5) A more direct translation is "massacring all the colors of our heart," but I chose to put this line in conversation with the later "souls know all their colors" -- Tat Ming Pair describes love as a very intentional, and therefore cognitive, act. The queer tragedy of knowing and anticipating your own death runs through the whole song, and through much of their other discography, which is why I chose this translation.

(6) I found the choice of 魂 (hun, the cognitive/knowing part of the soul from old Chinese myth), and not 心 (xin, the heart, commonly used as a stand-in for everything related to love) very telling. 魂 is not the most intuitive choice when describing love, nor does it have a direct translation. I therefore chose "our souls will know all their colors" as a two-part approximate. This one character informs a lot of my other translation choices, including in (5).

(7) The use of time in Forbidden Colors is fascinating: time, in Chinese and Cantonese, is existential. Tomorrow speaks not to the next 24 hours, but to a different state of being and an entirely different set of possibilities. The promise of a tomorrow is the promise of a new (and possibly kinder?) reality--that the clocks stand still on this night, and that the speaker's lover cannot fall asleep, speaks to how this reality is withheld from them.

(8) It's uncertain what the speaker is waiting for: their own death? Tomorrow? Both? I contemplated inserting an object of my choosing, but decided to leave it ambiguous.

(9) A more direct translation is "perhaps we will wake up in a better era," but I thought calling back to the "tomorrow" used throughout the song had a stronger narrative/thematic payoff. I really, really wanted to translate the line to "let me come back to you tomorrow," implying that the speaker will always come back to their lover, no matter the reality they must face, but decided to stick more faithfully to the original.

Fun fact: I first heard 禁色 at the airport, and it made me cry. This song was my first attempt at Canto-English translation, done by hand on the backside of a love letter.

#cantopop #translation #tatmingpair #tatmingpairtranslation #Spotify

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lamaenthel · 1 year ago

Text

Tivaevae | Chapter Three: Paper Piecing

Still struggling to emotionally recover from Master Obi-Wan's deception, Ahsoka discovers in the aftermath that twelve-year-old Boba Fett has been locked up among adults in the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center. After convincing Chancellor Palpatine to grant him a pardon, she manages to secure his release on the condition that she serve as his legal guardian. Now, with the help of Master Plo and the Wolfpack, she vows to help him track down what family he has left.

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Fandom: Star Wars Characters: Ahsoka Tano, Boba Fett, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Kanan Jarrus, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives, CC-1119 | Appo, Dexter Jettster, FLO | WA-7 (Star Wars), Shaak Ti, ARC Commander Blitz (Star Wars), CT-6922 | Dogma, Original Clone Trooper Character(s) (Star Wars), CC-3636 | Wolffe, Clone Trooper Sinker (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Comet (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody, CT-5597 | Jesse, CT-4860 | Boost, Aurra Sing, Tobias Beckett, Null-11 | Ordo Skirata, Kal Skirata, Original Mandalorian Characters (Star Wars), Original Droid Characters (Star Wars), Original Jedi Character(s) (Star Wars) Total Word Count: 123,000 Chapter Word Count: 7,367 Chapter TW: CSA Mention Chapter Summary: Anakin returns to Coruscant with a new initiate, Ahsoka discovers a horrifying truth about Boba's past, and Boba tries to reconnect with Rex.

Anakin had been on Coruscant for a grand total of six hours before being gravely approached by Master Yoda with a solemn request; hurry to unstable Toydaria and retrieve a Force-sensitive toddler. Toydarian was his first language, after all, and perhaps the old toad had sensed that he wanted to be on the opposite side of the galaxy from his lying, backstabbing, heartbreaking, dick-for-brains Master.

Padmé, ever the opportunist, had jumped to offer her diplomatic cruiser for the mission. Since they had just averted the assassination of her mentor and oldest ally, it was the least she could do. It could fit a grand total of fifteen passengers; two pilots, three navigators, four guests, and six guards. They'd passed on the guards and had instead taken Dormé, Moteé, and Ellé along with Artoo and Threepio.

And, of course, little Taarak Na'Hane-Bata.

Anakin had been shocked upon landing when he discovered that instead of a Toydarian baby, he was collecting the adopted Togruta son of a pair of Toydarian physicians. They'd been devastated, despite having been the ones to contact the Temple in the first place, and the goodbye had lasted so long that even Padmé was creeping out the door in an effort to finalize their farewell. Now that he'd spent some time with the boy, though, he couldn't blame them. He was kriffing adorable, and well-behaved to boot.

Obi-Wan had once warned him about how dangerous Togruta toddlers were. They were thick with pheromones and notorious cuddlebugs who loved nothing more than to stare adoringly at their caretakers, hypnotizing them into catering to their every whim with their big sad eyes. Taarak certainly had those.

Though the two year old had cried pitifully for his parents until he had passed out from overexhaustion, when he awoke he seemed to have accepted the separation and allowed Anakin to comfort him. They sat in the lounge now at the padded bench surrounding the dejarik table. Padmé had turned it on to amuse him; he was frightened at first, but he'd quickly become fascinated with the tiny figures. He ran his little fingers up and down Anakin's tabards like he was typing on a keyboard as he stared at them, singing a nonsense song to himself and purring just like Ahsoka did when she was content.

He even looked similar to her; his skin was more blood than orange and both his lekku and eyes were a darker blue, but the resemblance was close enough to make Anakin's heart ache. He wished he could have seen Snips as a baby.

"Wanjala?" he asked Taarak with a smile.

The boy looked away from the figures on the dejarik table and nodded, grinning a wide grin that made his dimples pop. He had a blunt chin with a deep cleft that was visible even through the baby fat.

"Ndimatafuna, Taarak, inde?" Anakin popped a nuna nugget from the pile Padmé was busy unpeeling the breading from into his mouth. If Yoda had warned him ahead of time instead of just giving him a name and a pat on the ass to go get him he would have stopped at a butcher first. The nuggets were the only thing they had on board that was animal protein besides Ahsoka's carnivore rations, but Anakin didn't want to feed rations to a baby.

Padmé rested her chin on her folded hands and watched Anakin spit out the chewed-up nuna nugget and feed it to the toddler. "That doesn't seem sanitary," she said mildly, wearing an expression that looked torn between amusement and disgust.

"He doesn't have molars yet," Anakin said defensively, taking another nugget from the pile. "Their parents chew their meat for them for the first three years."

"So you said," Padmé replied, watching Taarak swallow enthusiastically.

Anakin fed him the second chewed nugget. "He also has to have Togruta formula until he's five. It's critical for their hearing development, Togruta breastmilk is very high in collagen and if they don't get enough of it the resonance chamber in their montrals won't develop properly. And we don't want that, Taarak, inde? Nyanga zathanzi, Taarak, inde, inde mwana–"

Padmé threw her head back and laughed, delighted. "Ani, I know you did research for Ahsoka, but my goodness."

"I didn't just do research, Obi-Wan made me take four different trans-xenoparenting modules on Togruta younglings. I'm pretty sure that I am the most qualified person at the Temple to take care of one." He didn't mention it was a direct consequence of almost killing Ahsoka that one time that he forgot to order her carnivore rations and she got enterocolitis from eating the troops' fungus-based nutrition bars. She'd gotten so sick that Kix had to collect a liter of Anakin's blood, mix it with red bacta, and flood her digestive system with it.

He still liked to occasionally pretend to open a vein for her when she complained about being hungry. It made her stripes turn black every time.

"I have to admit, seeing you like this is…" she smiled at him. "Intriguing."

Anakin frowned. "Like what," he asked, trying not to sound too annoyed. "Capable? Knowledgeable?"

Padmé shook her head and gave him a soft look. "Paternal."

Anakin looked at Taarak's montrals instead of his wife with a cold feeling in his stomach. "We agreed we'd talk about it after the war," he said quietly.

Padmé grasped his hand. "I want this with you, but I agree. After the war."

"I just can't bear the thought of you having to go through a pregnancy while I'm on a siege, or, or–" his vision got a little blurry and his eyes stung, " –raising one without me. And that's not even taking into account what you said about your mom–"

"Ani," she tried to interrupt.

" –how she had to use surrogates because the last try almost killed her, and you have the same mutation and I-I… Force, Padmé, if something happened to you because of it I don't know what–"

"Anakin!" she said urgently. "Taarak is getting upset, love. Please take a breath."

Taarak was squirming in his lap and his big eyes were fully porged out. Anakin centered himself in the Force and imagined the feeling of Ahsoka's aura, that calming projection she did so well; soft, silky rain riding a cool desert wind, an alkaline shower that quelled the rising acid in his blood. It worked. Not nearly as well as the real thing, of course, but enough for Anakin to bolster his shields and stop disturbing the baby. "Pepani, Taarak, pepani mwana. Chapino mwana."

Padmé reached for the bag of temperate formula bottles, shook one, and handed it to Taarak. "I didn't mean to upset you, love. I'm sorry."

Anakin huffed. "Let's blame it on the baby pheromones. They're giving us mommy brain, or whatever."

Padmé rested her head on his shoulder and watched Taarak contentedly suck. "After the war, yes, we'll talk about it. But I want this for us. I want a piece of our love to take on a life of its own. And I just know that you're going to be an amazing father, Anakin. Every second I watch you with Taarak proves that."

Anakin closed his eyes, unable to comprehend how it was possible for someone to own his very soul in the way that Padmé did. She knew exactly what to say to make him feel like the most treasured thing in the galaxy. He didn't know what he did to deserve it, but he'd do anything to protect it.

"My lady, I'd be happy to give the two of you a break if you'd like," Dormé called from the base of the ladder that led from the lounge and into the guest bunkrooms.

"That would be a good idea, I think." Padmé held her hands out for Taarak.

Anakin glanced down and met Taarak's giant eyes. He didn't really want to give him up.

"Hey now." Padmé snapped her fingers and giggled. "Don't get hypnotized again."

Anakin sighed, booped Taarak's nose, then handed him over. Padmé walked the suckling toddler down to Dormé and Anakin slumped on the bench, suddenly feeling very cold and unsnuggled.

His wife climbed back up the ladder and promptly took a seat across his lap.

"Oh," he said, blinking, then slipped his hands under her dress and up her thighs.

Padmé giggled and put a finger on his puckered lips. "I was asked to tell you that Obi-Wan has commed now for the eighth time, and is saying he urgently needs to speak to you about Ahsoka."

Anakin sat frozen for a few seconds. "What about Ahsoka?" he asked, trying to sound normal and not like he had guilt and panic writhing together like dying worms in his stomach.

Padmé raised an eyebrow. "That's all I know, love."

He reached around Padmé and brought up the message center on his commlink. He had thirty-six unread messages from Obi-Wan. Reluctantly, he slid out from underneath his wife and started paging through them, full of dread and praying to the Force that it wasn't about what he feared it was.

– [𝟶𝟷:𝟶𝟻:𝟿𝟾𝟶] – [𝟷𝟸𝟺𝟼] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙰𝚑𝚜𝚘𝚔𝚊'𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎. [𝟷𝟸𝟻𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟹𝟶𝟸] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟹𝟶𝟾] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟹𝟺𝟷] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎, 𝚝𝚘𝚘. [𝟷𝟻𝟶𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝. [𝟷𝟻𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟼𝟶𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟼𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟽𝟶𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟽𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚌𝚎, 𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝙿𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚗. [𝟷𝟽𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜. 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢. 𝙰𝚑𝚜𝚘𝚔𝚊'𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕.

Anakin kept scrolling. Nothing indicated Obi-Wan knew. He exited Obi-Wan's message log and went to Ahsoka's. There was nothing new from her.

– [𝟶𝟷:𝟶𝟻:𝟿𝟾𝟶] – [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟽] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙾𝙺

Ahsoka's typing dots appeared after a few harrowing seconds.

[𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟾] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙸'𝚖 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎, 𝚠𝚑𝚢? [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟾] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝚆𝙷𝚈 𝙸𝚂 𝙾𝙱𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝙽 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝙴 [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟾] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟿] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙷𝚎'𝚜 𝚞𝚙𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖. [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟿] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴

Anakin's finger hesitated above the straight-line-dot key and the curly-line-dot key, suddenly unsure of which one was for questions.

Padme gingerly reached over the hologram and pressed curly-line-dot.

"Thank you," he said, his cheeks burning.

[𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> ?

Anakin watched her typing dots linger for a concerning amount of time.

[𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟷] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚊 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚖��.

Anakin frowned; was that Huttese? It took him a second to sound it out, but then he huffed a laugh. He'd never seen the saying spelled out in Aurebesh.

"What does that mean?" Padmé asked, squinting at the holographic interface.

[𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟸] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙱𝙴 𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝙾𝙽 [𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟸] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙾𝚔𝚊𝚢 :)

Anakin closed his message center after recieving his response. "She said 'his tail is on backwards' in Huttese," Anakin smirked, then wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders. "Means he's got his panties in a twist. She's fine, he's just throwing a fit about her giving him the silent treatment. Now, where were we?"

"I think," Padmé began, running her fingers through his hair, "You were about to give me a kiss."

"Sounds about right." Anakin leaned forward but she stopped him again.

"Actually," she breathed, then traced his bottom lip with her thumb. "Let's take this to the– eep!"

Anakin had already lifted Padmé, planted her bare ass on the dejarik table, and thrown her skirt over his head before she could finish her sentence.

"You know you have to name him Robert, right?" Ahsoka joked. She bumped Boba with her hip. They had stayed uncuffed on the ride home and Boba finally seemed at ease, far more than he had been since they'd left the prison. She held his visitor's pass up to Disk and he unlocked the gate for them with an eye-roll.

Boba's aura rippled with the tiniest ribbon of golden humor and he tightened his arms around the rancor plushie. "I was already going to name him Robert," he snapped. "It's not because you said it." His aura went a little yellow with embarrassment.

Ahsoka put her hands up. "Hey, name him whatever you want. I probably picked up on your thought and didn't realize it."

Boba snorted. "You reading my fucking mind, Tano?"

"Only if you think really loudly," she grinned, then stuck her tongue out at him.

He stuck it out right back.

"Alright, we're gonna bunk in the rec room tonight." She took a chance and gave him a pat on the back, which he didn't flinch away from.

"Fine."

"We leave for Tipoca City first thing in the morning."

Boba stumbled and his aura flashed lily-white with panic.

"Boba?" Ahsoka asked.

"Why the fuck are we going there?" Boba snapped. His breathing sped up and she could hear his heart pounding. Why would he be so scared to return to Kamino?

"Kamino is the only place I know of where we might be able to find information on the Cuy'val Dar," Ahsoka answered, frowning. "Is there a reason you don't want to go back?"

Boba looked down, clinging to Robert like a lifeline. "Are you going to make me donate?" he asked in a harsh whisper.

Ahsoka's heart sank. "No. No, Boba, that's not why we're going there." She took another chance and put a hand on his shoulder, projecting soothing green calm-serenity towards him. "I give you my word as a Jedi, the Kaminoans will not take a single hair from your head. Okay?"

Boba bit his lip and nodded. He looked so young in the dim, ambient light of the barracks hall. "They take bone marrow," he mumbled. "That's where the best cells are, Dad said. They'd drill into his hip and he would walk funny for a week."

"Well, they're definitely not going to take that." She patted him on the back instead of hugging him like she desperately wanted to and started walking. "Plo got us a Consular cruiser, but it's halfway through a module conversion so half of the bunks were taken out for dual laser cannons. We'll have to double up."

Boba's lip twitched. "Great, I gotta listen to your snoring the whole way there?"

She laughed, relieved that he hadn't shut down. "I don't snore, but even if I did it would be better than listening to Plo all night. He whistles if his mask slips down."

They reached the rec room and Boba plopped himself on the couch. Ahsoka stayed standing and crossed her arms. Logically she knew that she shouldn't leave him there alone, but she felt oddly certain that he'd still be there when she returned. It was the same certainty that she'd felt in the diner right before she uncuffed him. "I've got to get some stuff together. Are you going to stay put, or do I have to lock the door?"

Boba stretched out like a cat, his bruised patches making him look like a calico. He waved a dismissive hand at her and crossed his legs at the ankle. "I'm too tired to run."

"I'll be right back with some pajamas for you, then." She winked at him. "And I'll grab some pillows and sheets. We can make a fort and have a proper sleepover."

Boba stilled. His aura hardened and lost the tint of green that was so faint that Ahsoka hadn't even noticed it until it was gone.

"What's the matter?" she asked, furrowing her brow. His aura was going staticky with anxiety around the edges.

"Nothing. I-I just didn't realize that Jedi did that." Boba shrugged. "I don't give a fuck. Fine by me. I haven't gotten laid in a minute."

Ahsoka stared at him, sure that she hadn't heard him right. She rubbed her montrals and shook her head to make sure. "What?"

"What's wrong, tailhead, is it your first time?" he sneered. He hopped to his feet and swayed toward her, full of false bravado and his aura a staticky thunderstorm of flashing green disappointment and gray anxiety and yellow embarrassment and underneath it all, a familiar shade of bruise-dark violet sadness-guilt.

She stood still, warily watching Boba approach with her brow raised until he was close enough for her to smell his breath. There was no way he meant what he'd just said to sound that suggestive. He was just hopped up on sugar from dinner or something, he couldn't possibly be propositioning her.

She believed it up until he grabbed her by the lekku and yanked her down into a sloppy kiss, all clumsy tongue and teeth. She squealed and shoved him back, spitting and sputtering in panic and revulsion. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she shrieked, wiping her hand across her now-wet mouth.

"You just said you wanted a sleepover!" he barked, quickly backing up with an aura cringing in on itself with neon orange-yellow mortification-anger. "Make your fucking mind up!"

Ahsoka's jaw dropped to her chest. "What part of sleepover said 'shove your tongue in my mouth?' "

"The sleepover part, you stupid cunt!" Boba shouted back. "The fuck do you think a sleepover is?"

"What do you think it is?"

"It means you want to fuck!"

"No it doesn't!" She was going to be sick. Boba was twelve, he was twelve. "Who told you that?"

Something switched off in his eyes. The bravado drained out and left him looking smaller than ever. The backs of his knees hit the couch and he curled up on it in a ball, hugging Robert the Rancor. "Aurra," he mumbled. His aura was dripping yellow with humiliation.

"That's… that's not what it means," Ahsoka choked. "It just means that you sleep in a place that you normally wouldn't, with a friend. Just sleeping. L-Like a slumber party."

Boba tucked himself deeper into the sofa and stared at Robert. His aura was drawn so close to his skin that she could barely see it, but the humiliation and hurt she saw there cracked her heart like an eggshell.

"I'll be right back. Just– just stay here. I'll be back." She paused. "I'm not mad. It was a misunderstanding, okay? Please don't run away."

He nodded without looking at her.

"I'll just be a few minutes," she said, backing out. "I'll be right back." She activated the door panel and hesitated with her finger over the lock; it was unintentional but she had just hurt him deeply, and she no longer had the certainty of a few minutes ago that he would stay.

"I'm trusting you, kiddo," Ahsoka muttered to herself, then walked away with her hands balled into fists. She wasn't going to lock him in. Boba would stay put on his own. He wasn't going to run, he was going to stay with her and his brothers where they could protect him.

Her blood was boiling. Aurra Sing was a monster, a demagolka, sgudal fhaighean, hule lopusa, a demonic, piece of shit nonce–

"Bad time?" Cody joined her power walk to the bunkrooms, his aura bright orange and blurry around the edges. He was visibly tipsy and he stumbled a little trying to keep up with her.

"Very," she said, looking him up and down. Cody had only one reason to be waiting for her in the 501st's barracks and she didn't have time for Obi– damn it, Kenobi's banthashit. "I'm guessing that he sent you?"

"No, I'm here on my own." He threw his arm around her shoulder. His breath smelled like tihaar and caf. "You gotta make up with him, 'Soka. He's driving me up the wall with his moping."

"Not my problem." She shrugged his arm off like a big, heavy slug.

He frowned at her. "He apologized, didn't he?"

She snorted. "Yeah. It was very touching and heartfelt. Totally made up for making me go to his funeral."

"At least you got to go," Cody mumbled, his aura flooding with purple grief.

"Why are you even here?" Ahsoka asked, exasperated. "He lied to you too."

"It's called being an adult," he grouched. "Try it sometime."

"Maybe he should try it."

Cody rolled his eyes. "Listen, it was a karked thing he did and we both know it, but you can't hate him forever."

He said it like Obi-Wan had forgotten to show up to her saber demonstration. He had no idea how hard she'd had to cling on to Anakin to keep him tethered to reality and safe from his own grief, how she had to constantly glean off the dark miasma that infected his aura like poisonous black oil.

She had felt like there was something watching him curiously from the shadows, like a patient nexu waiting for its prey to tire and fall from the tree it was hiding in. She refused to leave him, no matter how many times he'd tried to force her out of his quarters. She wouldn't abandon him to that hungry shadow. She'd rip and tear it up with her teeth if she had to, but she would not leave Anakin.

She had the bruise to prove it.

And then Obi-Wan Kenobi had waltzed out of the Royal Palace at Theed wearing the face of his own killer like nothing had changed and it was all a grand ruse that they were in on. Like he hadn't triggered the most terrifying crisis of her life. Like she hadn't spent three days in the darkest hell she'd ever been in, drowning in the icewater of not just Anakin's grief but the grief of every Jedi who knew him.

The only time she'd been able to mourn Obi-Wan were the pitiful few seconds she had been alone before Anakin had shown up, begging the bastard to open his eyes. He'd hid his aura so well from her, blocked their bond, he'd even projected a fake aura as Rako Hardeen in that motel room. That was a skill that he'd learned specifically to fool her, because it had absolutely no other practical application in the entire universe. Nobody else could bloody see it.

Ahsoka stopped in front of the bunkroom door. "How have you forgiven him so easily?" she demanded. "I ate a few of your jerky sticks on the way back from Geonosis and you didn't talk to me for an entire day, but he fakes his death and you're trying to rebuild his burned bridges for him?"

Cody's already pink cheeks flushed puce and his hands found his hips. "I'm a clone, Os'ika. I don't have the luxury of holding a grudge."

She mimicked his pose. "Well, I do."

"Come on. Just talk to him so he stops whining at me about how unreasonable you're being."

"I'm being unreasonable?" Ahsoka asked in disbelief. "Oh that– no, you know what? I'm done, I don't have time for this. I've got more important things to worry about than bandaging the wounded ego of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Goodnight, Cody."

She spun to leave and he grabbed her left arm to stop her, right over where the bruise was deepest. She gasped as pain shot down her arm, and she barely resisted snapping her teeth at Cody like a massiff.

His mouth hardened into a grim line and she realized that he'd done it on purpose. "What happened to your arm?" he asked harshly.

"None of your damn business," she snapped. She spun her arm out of his grip and slapped away the wrist that moved to replace it. "Stop it!"

"Commander Tano!" Cody barked, his aura flaring silver with authority. "I am ordering you to tell me what happened to your arm."

There was no arguing with that tone, even if he was half off his shebs from the tihaar she smelled on his breath. Ahsoka stood at attention, inwardly seething at the gall of him pulling rank on her now of all times. "Training accident, Sir."

"What sort of training?"

"Mechanical ordnance, Sir." It wasn't technically a lie.

"Conducted under who?"

She glared at him. "That's classified, Sir."

"I've got higher clearance than you."

"I cannot release classified information without General Skywalker's permission, Sir."

"So Skywalker knows." Cody's eyes narrowed. "Was it him?"

"I didn't say that, Sir," she snapped.

"Then who?"

"As I said, Sir, that's classified."

Cody's eyes softened and his aura went teal with protection. "Ahsoka, did Skywalker hurt you?" he asked gently. He wasn't asking as her commanding officer, he was asking as her vod. It infuriated her and made her want to cry at the same time.

Why couldn't he just mind his own shabla business? Why did he have to be the concerned big brother now, of all times? "Are you accusing General Skywalker of abusing me, Sir?" she asked, forcing her voice to sound cold so she wouldn't lose her nerve.

Cody stared at her, both of them knowing damn well that he couldn't outright say yes without crossing into insubordination. He blew air slowly out of his nose, his aura humming and glowing neon chartreuse with annoyance-anger at being outmaneuvered. "No, Commander."

Ahsoka nodded and kept her face neutral. "Was there anything else, Sir?"

Cody jerked his head. "You're dismissed," he muttered.

"Goodnight, Cody." She slipped into the bunkroom and closed the door behind her, trying not to grieve the damage she knew that she'd just done to their friendship. It would be nice if everyone would just leave her the hell alone for five minutes and let her take care of Boba instead of obsessing over something they didn't know anything about. He needed to be mothered a lot more than she did.

The bunkroom was virtually empty. The majority of the guys were out carousing at 79's and making the most of their shore leave but Jesse, Kix and Tup were squished into Kix's bunk watching Daiun's Anatomy on her holoprojector. "Hey," she greeted them.

"We're leaving as soon as this episode is over," Jesse said, holding a preemptive finger up. "Calliope's pregnant again."

"And she just did a tracheostomy on herself with a droid scomp. Her speeder crashed after she was stung by a spider and her throat closed up," Kix said in a monotone. "Which is shabla impossible, in case you were wondering."

"I wasn't." Ahsoka clapped her hands together. "I need the projector, though. We're sleeping in the rec room tonight."

"We?" Tup blinked at her.

"Yeah, me and Boba. We're in–"

"You and–" Jesse reared up and sent her holoprojector flying. She barely caught it before it hit the floor. "I thought Appo was joking when he said you adopted that little shabuir, Commander." Jesse's aura quickly flooded with red anger.

She took a step back in shock, not expecting another argument immediately after the last one. "Woah, Jess–"

"Tell me you're joking, Commander," Jesse said, his face all scrunched up in anger. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes; not to intimidate her, that wasn't it at all, he was begging her with his eyes to tell him that she wasn't serious.

Her heart sank. She really hadn't thought through any of the consequences of springing Boba, had she? Jesse was fanatically loyal, almost to a fault; of course he was going to hate the boy who attacked a Republic ship and killed hundreds of their brothers in the process. He was a traitor to both the Republic and the vode, and Jesse had no reason to feel sympathy for a traitor.

"I couldn't leave him in there–" she started, but she stopped when Jesse's shoulders sagged and his aura darkened to deep purple with sadness-disappointment. "Jesse, I couldn't!"

"Har'chaak!" Jesse broke away, pressing his palms into his eyes.

Kix and Tup hadn't yet moved from the bed, but their eyes flicked between Ahsoka and Jesse like they were watching a limmie match.

"He's so little, he–"

"I don't care how short he is, he killed three hundred and four of my brothers," Jesse said harshly. "And trust me, he doesn't look at us like his brothers."

"Jesse–"

"No. You're not thinking clearly. All you see is a little boy but he's manipulating you, Commander." Jesse took her hands and squeezed. "He's a killer. He used you to get out of prison, don't make the mistake of thinking that he cares about you even a fraction of how much we do."

"I know he doesn't. That's not why I did it." Ahsoka gave Jesse a pleading look, begging him to understand. She expanded her aura with a gentle, flowing wave of sage-green serenity so he'd calm down a little. "Boba was manipulated by a disgusting, evil dalgaan into doing what she wanted by promising him revenge for Jango. She was evil, Jesse, please believe me." Ahsoka swallowed hard. "I'm not saying he had no agency or was incapable of making different choices, but he's–"

"A killer," Jesse repeated with a growl.

"No– yes, but Aurra Sing, Jesse, she…" Ahsoka bit her lips, hesitating. It was Boba's truth to tell if he wished, not hers, but it would help if Jesse understood just what a hold she'd had on him. "She abused him," Ahsoka said quietly, saying the truth without actually saying it.

Jesse was smart. His face scrunched up even further, his aura went sick-green with disgust, and he looked away.

"He needs you," Ahsoka continued. "All three of you. He needs his brothers, even if he doesn't realize it." She turned to Kix and Tup and gave them a pleading look. "Please, he's barely holding it together." She didn't add that she'd made it worse. "I can see how badly he's hurting. Please, Jess." She laced her fingers with his and squeezed.

Jesse glowered at her. "You know, you're going to try to help the wrong person someday, and they're going to go for your throat." He pulled her into a spine-cracking hug.

Ahsoka relaxed, nearly dizzy with relief, and buried her face in his neck. "Thank you," she said in a muffled voice.

"Yeah, yeah." Jesse pulled back and touched her forehead with his own in a gentle mishmure'cya, then looked over her shoulder at Kix and Tup. "You two are coming, right?"

"I am!" Tup said brightly. "It'll be nice having a cadet around again. I miss being around them on Kamino. I always liked being asked to fill in for rec supervision."

Ahsoka couldn't help but smile. Tup had such a gentle spirit. If he'd been born a Jedi he would have made a natural Crèchemaster. Maybe if the stupid war ever ended he'd have a chance to live a gentle life. She could easily see him teaching younglings.

"He's not staying, Tup," Ahsoka said apologetically. "We're leaving for Kamino tomorrow."

"Wait, really?" His brows went up. "Can we come?"

Ahsoka bit her lip. "Unfortunately, because I'm a Padawan Commander and not a CC, I don't actually have clearance to authorize off-world missions."

"Aww."

Kix started yanking sheets off of random, unoccupied beds.

"That a yes for you then, Sarge?" Ahsoka asked.

Kix shot her a look over his shoulder. "Obviously, Sir."

"Anyone seen Rex?" Ahsoka asked, accepting a pile of pillows from Tup.

"Oh, he's in the commhub. He got called in by General Kenobi."

"You have got to be kidding me." Ahsoka tossed her head back and groaned aloud. "Why won't he just leave me alone?"

"He'd be a shit ba'buir if he did," Kix shrugged.

"He's a shit ba'buir regardless," Ahsoka snipped.

"Alright, alright. One problem at a time." Jesse physically turned her and pushed her towards the bunkroom door, carrying his share of sheets draped over his shoulders like an ancient Onderonian pharaoh. "You can bitch to me about Kenobi later, I promise."

Cody was thankfully gone when she opened the door. She led the boys through the empty barracks at a pace just under a jog, painfully aware that she'd left Boba alone for sixteen minutes, then bumped the door panel open with her hip since her arms were full of pillows.

Robert the Rancor sat abandoned on the couch. Boba was nowhere to be found.

Tup craned his head over her shoulder. "Uh, Commander? Where is he?" he asked, confused.

"Fuck," Ahsoka said faintly.

Boba hadn't realized that water showers were a luxury until he'd left Kamino for good. Sonic showers were easier to install, easier to clean, faster to use, and didn't use up water rations. He wasn't sure if the troopers actually had water rations, but if they did then he'd used up at least half a battalion's worth. He'd been steaming for half an hour.

"Fierfek," Tiarek cursed from around the corner. "You done yet? We're locked down again, which means Ahsoka thinks you ran for it."

Boba's stomach seized up at the Tog's name. He felt so fucking stupid, but she was the one who'd started it. Why'd she have to push? He'd actually been thinking about something besides how much he fucking hated being alive for once, and then the jetii had to go and ruin it because she didn't know what a fucking sleepover was.

Or he was the one who didn't know. It didn't matter now. He looked like an idiot and she pitied him now, and that pissed him off even more. He didn't need some do-gooder's pity. He was a man, damn it! He was a beroya and the only living son of Jango Fett, the greatest bounty hunter that had ever lived. He didn't want the Tog bitch to sit blinking her big, sad eyes at him like he was a pathetic, three-legged street pup covered in fleas.

"No, I've got him, lift the lockdown. We didn't mean to be this long. Go ahead and get started, we'll be there soon." Tiarek was on a holocall with somebody but Boba couldn't hear the other side. "Come on, Bo'ika, time to go."

"In a minute!" Boba yelled back.

"Now." Tiarek turned the shower off and threw a scratchy towel at his face.

"Shabla bev'kovid," Boba mumbled under his breath as he toweled off.

"I heard that."

Boba toweled faster then wrapped himself up when he was done. Tiarek patted him on the back and led him out to the lockers. A set of Kaminoan cadet blues sat waiting for him on the bench.

Boba glared up at Tiarek. "Didn't have any blacks in your size," he smirked at him. "Hurry up. Ahsoka's having a heart attack."

"I don't care," Boba said darkly.

Tiarek looked at him, disappointed. "I do," he said softly.

Boba dropped the towel and reached for the blues. They were too big for him, he could already tell. He knew he was underweight but more importantly, without all of the genetic upgrades from the longnecks, he was just plain smaller than the other clones at the same physical age. Dad was half a head shorter than the grown-up troopers, and Boba was a perfect copy of him.

"What's that?" Tiarek was frowning at him; specifically, his ass.

Boba quickly yanked the oversized drawers up. "Nothing. Don't be bloody nosy." He hadn't meant to let him see the scar.

"Then why are you being cagey about it?" Tiarek asked with a raised brow.

"I sat on my knife, alright? It's embarrassing." Boba slipped his shirt on.

Tiarek leaned against the lockers. "Look, Boba, I know you've been through a lot since Jango died, but–"

Boba flinched at his dad's name.

Tiarek softened. "Just promise me that you're going to try. Nobody expects you to be a model cadet, but at least stop cussing her out every time you open your mouth."

"Fine," Boba mumbled. He tugged at the bottom of his tunic, trying to make it hang less awkwardly on his narrow shoulders.

"You can trust her. I promise you can. She's the best, right alongside Skywalker." Tiarek smiled sadly. "We're not just numbers to them. They truly do care for us. Ahsoka is my vod'ika, do you understand? You trust her just like you trust me."

Boba scoffed. "So much for vode an. You know, the meaning of the word doesn't change just because you use it to bloody adopt each other."

"Of course not." Tiarek blew air out of his nose hard, frustrated. "It just means I watch out for her, I teach her, I keep her alive. And she has my back in return, no matter what."

"Whatever," Boba said, looking away. Tiarek wasn't going to let it go until he agreed. "Fine. I'll stop being a dickhead to her, alright? Doesn't mean I trust her."

"Good man." Tiarek clapped his hand on his shoulder and guided him towards the door. "Let's go."

Boba felt his banzaii burger start to work its way up his throat as they walked back to the rec room. Should he tell Tiarek what he'd done? Boba didn't want him to hate him too, but he wasn't sure what he'd be angrier about; kissing Tano, or lying about it.

"What?" Tiarek was looking at him with those same knowing eyes Dad had when he knew Boba was squirming about something.

"I kind of…" Boba hesitated. "Fuck it. I kissed Tano and she's gonna make it sound like I just made a move on her out of nowhere and–"

"Hold on, hold on!" Tiarek went to one knee so they were eye level. "What are you on about?"

"Tano," Boba mumbled. "I kissed her. I thought she wanted it."

Tiarek was staring at him with his mouth open. "You did what?" he asked sharply.

"She said she was gonna go get pillows to have a proper sleepover, so," Boba shrugged. "Obviously I thought that meant she wanted to fuck. But she didn't know what that's what sleepover really meant because she's a Jedi, I didn't mean to piss her off."

"She… she didn't–" Tiarek stood and turned away, his hands on his head. "Boba, no." He turned, and Boba felt his heart sink into his guts at the look on his face.

"I didn't hurt her! I just kissed her, she didn't want it so I didn't push it–"

"Boba, who told you that a sleepover meant that?" Tiarek's voice was so sad that it made Boba flush, embarrassed all over again.

"Fuck, not you too." Boba turned away with a groan. Why was everyone so damn stupid? Why was he the only fucker under the roof who knew Basic? "Sleepover is when you want someone to sleep in your bunk, it's not a fucking slumber party like she thinks. Aurra told me what it meant when some asshole asked me in a bar on Nar Shaddaa–"

Tiarek sighed and huffed out a relieved laugh for some reason.

" –and then, you know, I started having sleepovers with her–"

Tiarek's face fell and he turned away with his fists balled up.

"Oh not you too, why is everyone such a damn prude?" Boba moaned, rolling his eyes. "I'm a year away from doing my verd'goten, I'm not a fucking baby."

Tiarek turned and he almost scared Boba with how angry he looked. "Listen to me," he said, going back down on one knee. "People might say sleepover to be cute, but that's not what it means. And if Dad knew that Aurra had done that to you he would have taken her skin off slowly, do you understand?" Tiarek grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. "She never should have been allowed within a mile of you."

Boba bit his lip. "You called him Dad," he said quietly. "You haven't called him that in a long time."

"I meant to say your dad." Tiarek flushed and looked away. "Not… I know, trust me."

Boba looked up. "Don't you remember–"

"There's nothing to remember," Tiarek said quickly. "It was just a few weeks, Bo'ika, okay? Don't get it mixed up again. We've been through this."

Yeah, they had, and every time Tiarek was more and more certain that whatever lie he'd been fed by Kal while he was recovering was the truth. "So I'm old enough to wet my blade, but not my dick?" he asked crudely, changing the subject.

Tiarek turned purple. "Yes," he growled.

Boba waved a dismissive hand at him. "Whatever you say, Tiarek."

"Come on." Tiarek stood. "And I told you to stop calling me Tiarek. That was never my name."

Boba resisted the urge to argue. It was pointless. If any part of Tiarek remembered, it was buried so deep down under the lies that it may as well have never existed at all.

"Now behave," Tiarek warned him, then opened the rec room door. Three unarmed clones sat lounging in their blacks inside a pile of pillows, couch cushions and sheets that had been built up into a tent. One of them was the medic that had rubbed that stink-ass bacta gel on him. Tano sat on the edge, cross-legged and pinch-faced. As soon as the door slid open she popped to her feet and rushed to Tiarek.

"Gar ru'hibii ner ad? Ne'din'kartay?" she snapped. "Rex, do you have any idea how scared I was to find him gone again?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize he was–"

"Gar johaar'i Mando'a?" Boba interrupted, stunned.

She raised a brow marking. "Waad'choruk," she said wryly. "Rex taught me."

Boba flushed and looked down. He should have expected that, if Rex had adopted her as a little sister.

"As I was saying, Boba here needed a shower, but I didn't know he was going to use half of the monthly ration for the whole GAR." Tiarek popped him gently in the shoulder.

Tano's shoulders slumped and she took a deep breath. "I'm sure he was just happy to take a water shower. I know the prison only has sonics." She bent down and looked him in the eye. "So. Ready for bed?"

Boba peered around her to look at the troopers reclining in her pillow fort. The one with the Galactic Roundel tattooed on his face looked unimpressed, the medic looked bored, but the final one with a tear on his cheek sitting cross-legged was practically beaming at him through his long hair.

"Why're they here?" Boba asked suspiciously.

"Well, since you've never had a real sleepover, I thought it might be fun to have one. And for a real sleepover you need friends, but you also need a pillow fort–" she turned and gestured to the limp tent, " –holofilms, and snacks." She held up a projector in one hand and a bag of nerf rinds in the other, smiling like an idiot.

Boba looked up at Tiarek, who shrugged. "Fine," Boba said dismissively.

"Great!" Tano dove into the tent between the long-haired one and the one who looked like he'd just bit into an unripe meiloorun. "I've already got the holo loaded. Get the lights, Rex."

Boba glanced at Tiarek, who did as he was told with a soft smile for Tano.

"By the way this is Jesse, Kix, and Tup," she added, pointing to each clone as he and Tiarek crawled inside the pillow fort. She and the three troopers were already squished together, cuddling like sleepwalking tubies. Tiarek stayed on the outside and Boba ended up sandwiched between him and the medic, Kix.

"Wizard," Boba said in a bored voice. "What are we watching?"

"March of the Porgs," Tano said cheerily.

"Finally!" Tup crowed.

"What do you mean finally? We just watched that on the way home from shabla Naboo," Jesse grumbled.

"Language," Tiarek drawled.

Boba snorted. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously." Tiarek chuckled and pushed Boba's head down to his chest.

"Wait, Commander, you're sleeping over here?" Tup asked, looking confused. "You always sleep with Rex."

Boba froze. Wait, had he kissed Tiarek's girl? Why hadn't he shabla said that, why'd he go through the vod'ika banthashit instead of just saying he was screwing her? And where did Tiarek get off telling Boba that he was too young for it if he was shagging his own al'verde? Boba was older than all of them, except for Tano.

"Not tonight," Tano said nonchalantly. "Oh, by the way, Boba, you forgot somebody." Tano tossed Robert the Rancor at him over Kix, then started the projector.

Boba cleared his throat. "Thanks." He hugged Robert to his chest and adjusted a little so that he could fit the plushie in between him and Tiarek, hiding a small smile.

"There is a mysterious ritual that dates back thousands of years. No living creature has survived it, except the porg. They have wings but can barely fly. They're birds without beaks that act like clowns. And every year, they embark on a nearly impossible journey to find a mate. For twenty days and twenty nights, the porg will march…"

Notes:

MANDO'A TRANSLATIONS ba'buir: grandfather Os'ika: Little shit (Cody's [affectionate!] nickname for Ahsoka, a pun on her normal diminutive of Ahs'ika [Little Ahsoka] ) dalgaan: bitch Har'chaak: damn it mishmure'cya: brain kiss, aka keldabe kiss shabla bev'kovid: fucking dickhead Gar ru'hibii ner ad? Ne'din'kartay?: You took my kid? Without telling me (lit. no sitrep)? Waad'choruk: Obviously (lit. diamond, colloquialism for "crystal clear") Al'verde: Commander TOYDARIAN TRANSLATIONS Wanjala?: Hungry? Ndimatafuna: I chew it Inde: Yes Nyanga zathanzi: Healthy horns Mwana: Baby Pepani: Sorry Chapino mwana: Okay baby Hule lopusa: stupid bitch HUTTESE TRANSLATIONS Chupanka keepa manmi: His tail is on backwards (Huttese colloquialism for someone acting irrationally) MAOR-GRÁSTA TRANSLATIONS sgudal fhaighean: garbage cunt OTHER NOTES I just really like it when Anakin speaks Toydarian okay. Also I mentioned this in another fic but he didn't learn Aurebesh until he was ten and he hates it so he types in all caps and doesn't like punctuation Yes, Boba refers to Rex as Tiarek in his head. We'll find out why just hang in there lol

Taglist: @starwarsficnetwork, @soliloquy-of-nemo Dividers: @saradika-graphics

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