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dapandapod · 10 months ago

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Particular with nicknames

Why hello there! This was written last september (2023) and has since been sitting in my draft, making me rewatch streams because no pathetic reasons at all i swear. Anyway, here is Jaskier having a Moment TM when Geralt uses a very specific nickname. Thank you @ahh-fxck for helping me beta read <3 much appreciated! Please enjoy streamer!Geralt and Pathetic!Jaskier! <3 On Ao3 here

For all the love Jaskier has of words and language, he is strangely picky with nicknames.

It’s not that he dislikes them, he is just strangely neutral. Alright, that’s not true.

His famously ill-advised and stormy relationship with Valdo came to mind. Jaskier had fallen promptly out of love with him when he was called ‘Snugglebutt’ in front of all of their friends. They were together for another month or so past that, because Jaskier thought himself cruel and wanted it to work.

Well, it did not.

Nowadays he shares a flat with his long time best friend Geralt, one of the few constants in his life and the one who just might own about two thirds of his heart.

It’s not a big flat, but they have a room each, a small kitchen, and a shared living room. That is also where Geralt has his small streaming corner set up, back against the wall and facing the room.

Easier that way to keep it clean if he streams with the camera on, no accidental flashing unsuspecting viewers that way. Something learned by trial and error, as Jaskier tends to run warm and just forgo pants. And shirts. And socks.

They also share their flat with a terrible little cat named Roach, who has never quite warmed up to Jaskier. Took to Geralt the instant she saw him, however, and the two are inseparable whenever Geralt is home.

All of this in itself is not an issue. Oh no, all of this is more than fine.

Watching Geralt be sweet with the terrible little furball makes Jaskier’s heart ache pleasantly, listen to him coo about her fur being so shiny and smooth, what a good girl she is, wow look at that yawn!

No, the problem came up the first time as Geralt was lazily watching TV on the couch, back to their little kitchen where Jaskier had just served her royal highness some very expensive cat food.

Roach does as she always does when Jaskier is involved, and simply walks out. It’s routine by now, and the food is usually gone by morning. It’s more about Jaskier knowing his place at the bottom of the list than not liking the food.

But as she returns to the living room with Jaskier trailing after, considering plopping down on the couch too instead of working on his doctoral thesis, Jaskier finds himself fundamentally changed.

“Hi baby.” Geralt says, voice all sweet and dark and gravelly, and fuck.

It is very much aimed at Roach, who is being a cutie, begging pets from under the table. But Jaskier’s insides do a kickflip, his brain short circuits.

Flushing deeply, Jaskier can’t control the little HRK sound escaping his throat.

He is frozen in his tracks, tongue tied and feeling absolutely pathetic. Geralt turns around to look at him with a questioning frown.

“You ok there?” he asks, Roach climbing the couch and up to the backrest, demanding attention.

“Just peachy,” Jaskier squeaks out, and then flees to his room.

Holy fucking shit and mother of turds.

Baby?? Of all the nicknames in the entire world, that is the one Jaskier is going to have a meltdown about?

Just, the lazy way Geralt said it, Jaskier feels like an old maid, clutching his pearls.

It’s fine. He will be fine.

It was meant for Roach, of course, it’s fine.

It is not fine.

Geralt is streaming, talking with some other players. He is not a big name, but he does have a following, and sometimes gets invited to other streams if it's a multiplayer game.

Jaskier is moving around the living room, untangling the nest that their couch has become recently, blankets and hoodies and socks thrown everywhere. He is also holding a banana, somewhat forgotten in his new mission to make the couch sittable.

Part of his distraction comes from listening to Geralt talking, there is a lilt to his voice when he is on stream. It is unclear if Geralt is aware of doing it, but Jaskier can listen to it forever.

While in the process of moving one blanket over to the footrest, Geralt laughs at something said in his headphones.

“Oh baby, I didn’t know you cared!”

Jaskier drops the banana.

Feeling like a deer caught in headlight, Jaskier is unable to do anything but staring, feeling heat climbing his neck, up to his cheek.

Then Geralt’s eyes meet his over his screen, his face is neutral but his eyes are knowing.

Fuck fuck fuck he is in so much trouble.

Maybe it’s fine to have that many blankets. Perfect for hiding, perfect for pretending the way Geralt says ‘Baby’ doesn’t go on loop in his head, and will be for days.

Jaskier is in a constant state of fear.

Ever since the Stream Incident, as he has come to call it, there is this new tension whenever they are in a room together. Where Geralt will look at him consideringly, where Jaskier will pretend everything is as per usual.

He has gotten better at not freezing, but a thrill runs through him every time Geralt uses That Word, making very unsubtle eye contact as he does.

How is his poor heart to cope?

Sometimes, late at night, when Jaskier is unable to sleep and he knows Geralt is still streaming, Jaskier joins in to watch. It is uncertain if Geralt has figured out it’s him or not yet, he has sneakily named his account to Bardelicious, and doesn’t usually join the chat.

Tonight, Geralt is playing a fantasy game. A monster hunter and his bard, fittingly enough, and he makes light commentary about things in the game.

Until there is a scene where the bard does something noble, stupid and somewhat foolish.

“Oh, baby.” Geralt says sadly, shaking his head.

The chat goes absolutely wild, more than one asking him to say it again, to call them baby, which is a little weird and also absolutely fucking valid.

“Why are people so weird about that?” Geralt says, chuckling. The replies roll in, and his eyebrows climb up his forehead. Jaskier’s heart is beating hard, because this could either be really good or really bad.

“Sexy? Doubt that.”

Jaskier regrets it as soon as he presses send, and by then it’s too late.

‘It is when you say it.’ was all he wrote, but it was the first thing he had written in there. Geralt doesn’t know it’s him.

It should be fine. He is fine.

Some more responses follow, but Geralt is strangely quiet. The game scene plays out, the monster hunter and his bard having a nice bonding moment.

It’s soothing to watch, to hear Geralt’s commentary every now and then. He falls asleep with his phone in his hand, earbuds still in.

The next morning, Jaskier is woken up by the scent of coffee and a hungry Roach yowling in the kitchen. She only does that when Geralt is around, so it is safe to assume he is up.

Which is a little odd, because Jaskier fell asleep before the stream was over, and he feels like death warmed over.

His jaw cracks when he yawns. Lured by the scent of coffee, he manages to get out of bed.

Geralt is indeed up and about, Roach winding affectionately around his legs as he prepares her breakfast.

“Morn,” Jaskier rasps, scratching his stomach and giving another yawn.

Roach doesn’t even look at him, fully focused on her man and her meal. The bowl is placed on the floor for the queen herself, and like the gremlin she is, she eats it without a fuss. Little bastard.

Jaskier joins Geralt at the bench, seeking coffee like a flower seeks the sun. He can stop when he wants, coffee is not an addiction, it is a way of life.

“Were you up all night? Hand me a cup, will you?” he says, reaching for the fruit bowl that Geralt for some reason keeps religiously stocked.

In reply, he gets one of the typical hums, which could mean absolutely anything, and two cups. Jaskier pours for them both and Geralt adds the usual unholy amount of sugar to Jaskier’s, which makes him smile.

“Any plans for today? I really should be working on my thesis, but I can’t be arsed.”Jaskier leans back against the counter and sips at his coffee, which is still a little too hot.

Geralt is watching him over the rim of his mug, sipping on the steaming coffee.

“I have a thing I thought to try,” he says, voice gravelly, eyes locked on him.

It makes Jaskier’s stomach flip, and he takes a too big sip, the drink burning his tongue and all the way down his throat unpleasantly.

“Yeah? Anything you want help with?” Jaskier asks nervously, realizing he is still holding his chosen fruit without eating it, so he puts it down on the counter.

The corner of Geralt’s mouth ticks up into a crooked smile, and yeah, Jaskier is in danger. It is way too early in the morning for Geralt to be such an absolute heart throb.

“If you are willing.” Geralt says, and Jaskier finds himself nodding despite himself. If Geralt asks him if he is willing, the answer will probably always be yes.

“Sure! Uh… What is it?”

Geralt takes a step towards him and puts his cup on the side of the counter. Then he grabs Jaskier’s cup out of his hand and puts that down too.

His heart is beating so hard he can feel it in his throat, his hands now clammy and gripping the counter behind him.

Geralt inches forward, the space between them shrinking fast. He stops just shy of touching him, and tilts his head, white hair falling over his shoulder.

“So I was streaming last night,” Geralt begins, and oh dear, oh no. “And there were some interesting comments that I couldn’t get out of my head.”

“Uh… Oh?” Jaskier says dumbly, and Geralt huffs a soft laugh, breath hitting Jaskier’s face.

“You're particular with nicknames, right? I mean, you are still mad at Valdo.”

With growing worry, Jaskier is starting to realize where this is going.

“He called me snugglebutt. In front of people. That’s embarrassing!” Jaskier defends himself faintly. Geralt leans in an inch more, leaning against the countertop and crowding Jaskier against it. Fuck.

“But that’s not what you think when I say ‘Baby’, is it?” Geralt’s eyes are trained on him, and smiles when he notices Jaskier’s flustered little sound, the way heat climbs up his cheeks.

In a weak attempt to save face, Jaskier looks down, anywhere but meeting the intensity of Geralt’s gaze.

It has the unfortunate effect of noticing how close they are, how Geralt’s t-shirt rides down just enough to reveal collarbones, how his hands flex against the counter.

“Tell me if I’m reading this wrong, Jaskier,” Geralt mumbles, leaning close enough for his nose to drag against Jaskier’s cheekbone.

Jaskier pulls in a breath, tilting his head in a way he hopes is invitingly.

“You’re not.” Jaskier whispers, and is rewarded with Geralt putting a hand on his hip, letting his nose drag along Jaskier’s neck. “You really, really not.”

“Is it the nickname? You look so startled whenever you hear me say it.” Geralt asks, one finger finding skin under the hem of Jaskier’s t-shirt.

“Just you. Pretty sure you could call me snugglebutt and I’d thank you.” Jaskier confesses, blurts really, when the rest of Geralt’s hand sneaks under his shirt to find his lower back, playing with the soft hairs there.

“Good to know,” Geralt smiles against his skin and Jaskier braves turning his head, their cheeks brushing together.

“Are you going to kiss me anytime soon, or are you gonna let me keep suffering?” Jaskier breathes, his hands finding Geralt’s and tracing them up his arms slowly.

“Hmm,” Geralt says, considering with a cheeky grin, the absolute bastard, so Jaskier takes matters into his own hands. Quite literally.

Geralt’s face is warm, rough stubble and barely visible scars and imperfections brush against his fingers. Geralt must have turned into it, because their lips slide together, coffee and morning breath mingling as Jaskier finds himself now properly pressed against the bench and Geralt’s body.

Then he is being kissed harder, deeper, and Geralt hoists Jaskier up on the counter, using Jaskier’s thighs to pull him closer, closer still, and presses open mouthed kisses against his neck. With a gasp, Jaskier scrambles to find a grip, to get some control of himself, but it is very, very hard to focus.

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me, baby?” Geralt murmurs against his skin, and Jaskier full body shivers. “I can feel you watching me, you are even in my streams.”

“You knew about that?” Jaskier asks breathlessly, stealing a kiss when Geralt shifts to look at him.

“If you wanted to be discreet, maybe you should have chosen something else than ‘Bardelicious’.” Geralt smiles, and Jaskier pouts and pinches his side in revenge.

“Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“Why didn’t you?” Geralt counters, and well, this won’t go anywhere.

“I like listening to you. I like listening to your voice as I go to sleep,” Jaskier says quietly, and Geralt hides his face in the crook of Jaskier's neck.

“Did you get any sleep at all last night?” Jaskier asks when Geralt stays there, melting into his body.

He doesn’t get anything but a muttering grumble in reply, and Jaskier smiles and strokes his hair.

“I need to find a nickname for you too. I refuse to be the only one being absolutely useless as soon as you open your mouth.” Jaskier murmurs into Geralt’s hair.

“Gmmrmgmg.”

“What’s that?”

“I said, ‘like it when you say my name.” Geralt says, and Jaskier is melting all over again.

“Well then, Geralt,” Jaskier purrs. “Let me finish my coffee, and then we’ll take a nap.”

Reaching for coffee without really letting go turns out to be hard, and when Jaskier with some struggle finally gets a hold of his cup, the coffee is still unreasonably hot.

They nap in Jaskier’s bed, both of them crawling in under the blankets and curling up together. Jaskier’s chin resting on top of Geralt’s head, Geralt’s arm slung over Jaskier’s chest.

When Geralt wakes up and press Jaskier into the mattress, it doesn’t take long for Geralt to discover exactly how to fluster Jaskier enough to splutter broken syllables.

It’s alright.

When Jaskier has recovered from being melted goo, he will return the favor.

#the witcher #geraskier #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #jaskier the bard #modern au #gamer!geralt #dapanda writes #getting together #napping #pining #well something anyway #the draft name of this fic 'baby HRK' because yes that is the sound both author and bard made

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fountainpenguin · 6 days ago

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Mind Over Magic

Crocker stuffing the cafeteria ceiling full of Fs...

So funny that A.J.'s reaction to Timmy getting answers right on a quiz is that he's lucky and Chester just assumes Timmy cheated somehow.

Wanda really has no filter... She'll just call her godchild a jerk with no hesitation. lmao.

I love Veronica's crush on Timmy.

Elmer has life so freakin' rough. There's just one kid in this class who's inexplicably possessed... incredible. <- Has a sudden urge to binge "Never Had a Friend Like Me" again.

I totally forgot Crocker knows about Elmer's mind control situation (or at least, we know Elmer asked him about it and Crocker promised to help him).

Wanda holding an entire armful of candy while Timmy gets only one piece... lol.

Hard Copy

Remembering how afraid Cosmo is of the doctor... Me glancing awkwardly at my 'fics like "Yeah, that tracks."

Cracks me up that Wanda and Juandissimo have an ongoing relationship of her using him "as bait." That's just what they are and he will play along every time... They are so funny.

This is such a good episode for Wanda... All the magical mistakes and poor choices in this episode are hers. I like when she pulls a jar of jam from the copier and starts eating it, completely forgetting what Timmy asked for... or when she and Timmy eat cake instead of solving the magical mishap affecting them. Very Season 7-esque when they have a tea party while Cosmo's gone ("Super Zero").

RIP Flipsie's indoctrination into a life of crime.

Parenthoods

Still so funny that Cosmo loves Canada in this episode and then in Season 7, you learn he's convinced his brother invented Canada.

I want Hazel to meet Schnozmo so bad...

Every time Mr. Turner calls his wife nicknames like Snugglebutt I lose my mind. Man just loves fawning over his wife.

Lol, there's a scene in Frayed Knots I wrote years ago that we're almost upon, and it draws directly from this episode (Anti-Wanda convinced the Anti-Fairy legal system will see her through).

Timmy has some really cute body language in this episode.

Honestly, this is one of my favorite episodes- it's just so silly and cute. Good use of magic and shapeshifting, lots of fun jokes like magic bending the fabric of the world like a map (or Timmy trying to assist with a theft).

-> I have a draft somewhere where I note down odd things that aren't against Da Rules, and I think "Assisting with crime" is one I need to add.

THERE THEY ARE! Cosmo and Wanda turn into rats at the end of this episode, and I think that's the shape of the rat I saw during my first watch of "1500 Minutes of Fame" and wondered if I'd seen it before. I'll have to compare these sometime.

The Big Superhero Wish

I have a soft spot for "Big Superhero Wish" because it's one of the first episodes I ever saw (during a visit to a pizza place when the sound was muted).

-> I think it's a fun one in the way it looks at relationships between random schoolkids (Especially Veronica). I also enjoy how Chester gets to chew through matter in this episode and then when you get to Season 5, he's trying to chew his way out of the F.U.N. Academy with the same "Munch munch munch" dialogue he does here.

Apparently Nega-Chin can tell Timmy and Remy apart even though regular Crimson Chin can't.

Timmy drowning in papers marked F followed by "Cool, there's a D in here!"

I like watching Timmy's average problems like getting picked on and wanting a glass of milk to cheer him up, but not even getting that.

Minotaur Francis is everything to me...

I like how Crocker knows a lot about comics, but specifically because he's confiscated them from kids during class. Playing that against his miserable child upbringing is kind of funny... I wonder if he read many comics as a kid, or if that's not something he ever really wished for.

Actually, Timmy being cut off before finishing a wish is something I would've liked to see more often. It's just silly. The tension balance in this episode once the heroes are wished away and villains stay is pretty good.

ksdlkfj, "I used my regular kid window-opening powers!" Elmer...

Totally forgot Chester ran up to Vicky and bit her on the leg, oh geez.

"My nega-vision will cut through your bodies like nega-vision!"

I would've loved an episode where Timmy goes into the real world to rescue the writer of the Crimson Chin comics since this episode ends with the Nega-Chin taking him captive. Alas. I guess I could write a 'fic about that, but I think it defeats the point a little when the visuals aren't going to change, haha.

I really want to watch "Masked Magician" again now, but I think that's later in Season 5 so it'll come up later in my binge.

Vicky Loses Her Icky

Ooh, Sanderson head gag means "Pixies Inc." is coming up after this!

This episode is so goofy. Timmy's parents hire Vicky to babysit Timmy while they sit in the car in the driveway, waiting to be hungry enough to leave to the restaurant.

I wonder why I always see people complain this episode is annoying for "giving Vicky the backstory of being evil due to being bitten by a bug," because it's clearly stated that the bug came about because she was mean and Cosmo and Wanda had to give it physical form to remove it [Wanda claiming "All that evil has to go somewhere"]. /shrug

Here it is! I've been trying to remember what the "corn on Pluto" episode was.

I don't... I don't love Vicky saying she's leaving to donate organs. Are they HER organs?

Alarm bells instantly ringing when Vicky offers to dig people basements. I don't think Dale would like that.

Shout-out to Timmy's dad being rescued from the evil bug and immediately saying, "Hey, we're at the Cake 'N Bacon... Are we at least being nice?"

President dressing up like George Washington was such a funny way to avoid depicting a specific president.

Pixies Inc.

My boys are in the house!!

How have I literally never noticed Timmy's in the Future Business Leaders of America club...

Y'know, I always thought H.P. was just blatantly losing the golf game despite cheating, but watching again, the reason he has more strokes than Timmy in golf is because he went first.

Never not funny how many emotions the Pixies show when they're actually spooked or sad. They talk in monotone, but still make expressions... and that's not even counting their silly dialogue. I love them.

Dale Dimmadome & H.P. dynamic is so silly to me... Dale grew up around Dimmadome Farms [implied] and runs a burger chain, and the soy- & rice-loving Pixies aren't exactly known for eating meat. I just want them to try getting on the same page and continually hit roadblocks that make it weird.

Baby Face

I had no memory of "Baby Face" coming immediately after "Pixies Inc.," but oh my gosh does that make the "Gary and Betty seemingly knew about Pixies the whole time" theory funnier.

There they are! My other sillies are in the house!

Wait.......... hold up. Were Gary and Betty in the room when Timmy made his baby wish? -> There... there's no door behind them when the camera pans over.

They are so dang sus. Why were these babies unsupervised. Why did they not hesitate for a split-second before cramming Francis in a teeny tiny cage..... They are my everything.

crying at the huge crash sound effect that hits as Gary and Betty open the door off-screen. Why are they like that...

I say this every time I watch this episode, but Gary and Betty opting not to help a crying child and instead lock him in a soundproof dome is so dang funny. These two should not be left with kids. If they show up in New Wish with the Pixies, I will die actually... I still can't believe we got a Flappy Bob cameo. My son.

I feel like Vicky knowing Gary's and Betty's fun box song by heart is such a neat detail. Why is she hanging out with them. Why would they ever hang out with her. Fascinating...

Mr. Right

Another of the episodes I watched muted at a pizza place once upon a time...

Timmy and Melvin shoved into the same locker is giving me Leonard/Tammy flashbacks.

Elmer really doesn't keep his problems secret, huh? ("The boil doesn't like to be touched!")

Shout-out to the running gag of Francis scheduling his beatings.

I wonder why Vicky didn't go to school. The elementary school got out early. Maybe "recording Timmy's pain for future generations as a short film" was her homework.

...... Okay, actually.... I can TOTALLY see why A.J. goes on to found the Galax Institute in A New Wish based on his sudden uptick of interest in Timmy after noticing he's right all the time. I guess he really will chase the unexplained!

I love Francis... "Guess what I have behind my back. And don't say scorpion, because I checked." <- Guy who's really itching to finish my "Francis with a fairy godparent" 'fic...

lol, is Wanda's signature in her poof cloud the same as her signature when she signed papers in "Pixies Inc."? I think it might be.

That's all for now.

#Fairly OddParents #Riddle watches FOP #FAIRIES!#Long post #Perfect pink beaver boy #Dragonfly parents

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