#snipers moron rambling

[sn1p1ng888]

do y’all think Richie loves or hates nyan neko sugar girls

discuss

[atarathegreat]

The Colonels Best Recruit König

König knew there was something special about you from the moment you landed on base. From the way you walked behind everyone and kept them in the same area to the way you were merciless during training, König was sure you were going to be his star recruit. And you didn't disappoint in the slightest. Always top of your teams, the first one to volunteer for activities and team bonding, advocating for your peers.

To say you had made a name for yourself among even the commanders was an understatement. You had made tidal waves in KorTac, and König was thrilled that you were under his jurisdiction, that he got to boast your credentials at every meeting. There was no greater feeling for a Colonel. Such a team player, a powerful force to be reckoned with, an absolute unit on missions. He was far from surprised that your goal was to climb rank and become stronger than the others. Even so, you never forgot compassion and friendship. A perfect combo.

It was a decent morning, early training for the recruits, and Konig decided that he was gonna come down and see how the fresh meat was doing. A few of your peers flocked him to ask for tips, some of the girls trying to weasel in some flirting for better scores. Not you, though. You were busy on the opposite end of the field entirely, lost in your own stretches with ear buds dangling to your shoulders. For a few minutes, the lieutenant instructor watched König stare at you, but it made the man uncomfortable, "Recruit! Eyes up!"

You listened perfectly, obeyed easily, and smiled beautifully. König nodded and motioned at the earbuds with a thumbs up. If it helped, he'd allow it. He wasn't exactly a strict man, though he should've been.

"They're perfect, Lieutenant. How's the morning looking?" König towered over the instructor, but everyone on base was used to it by now. The instructor nodded, "Two morons are in jail. The rest are too busy trying to fall in love with each other."

"And them?"

Your instructor grinned, "In the middle of their stretches. In their lane, and focused on the end goal."

It was great to hear. König needed more soldiers who were focused on the task at hand and prepared to take everything on. There would be no room for fuck ups. He would've stayed a while longer and watched you show the others how it's done, but he had his own things to bother with. Meetings, briefings, debriefings, and some paperwork and reports. Lengthy bullshit he wished he could pass on to the next guy. Besides, he knew he'd see you at team night anyway.

So while you spent the hot summer week training and helping around base, getting absolutely sweaty and needing every shower you were afforded, König sat behind his desk and basked in the AC, while he wasn't on a mission of course. Friday rolled around, and thankfully, team night was at a bar this time. You needed to unwind, and a nice jack and coke was the way to go.

You and your team laughed, shared drinks, got into a couple fights, and bar hopped until König finally found you all and kept you in line. By that time, you were decently hammered, and Konig rarely wore his snipers hood off base, giving you the perfect opportunity and liquid courage to hit on your Colonel.

"Say, Colonel, you ever joined the recruits in training?" König thought your drunken rambling and slurred words were slightly endearing. It was a different state than he was used to seeing, at least. Made you seem more human to him, in a way. "A few times." He admitted, though truthfully he hardly did, "Not a lot of greenhorns like to go against a Colonel, though."

Not surprising. The rank was intimidating enough, but then you got a look at the man. Nearly seven foot tall and built like a damn monster truck, even you wouldn't go toe to toe with him. And you definitely wouldn't after watching the way he slammed through walls. Man was a menace.

All the same, you admired him.

"You ever think about joining in on our training? I think it would be a nice change of pace." No, you didn't, you filthy liar. You would shit your pants if he ever went hand to hand with you. Though the lie was a perfect segway to what you really wanted. König chuckled, "Are you trying to get shown up, maus?"

It was meant to be a dig at your smaller frame, the way he dwarfed you in every sense of the word. But damn you, if it didn't turn you on. "Maybe I wanna see what my Colonel can do." The hand around your drink drifted to his thigh, a bold move you wouldn't have made sober, "Maybe see what he's packing."

You knew how to mess around, König would give you that. It was in your eyes, the pressure of your hand on his leg, the way you leaned towards him. You thought you could take him.

But not in a fight.

König was going to prove you wrong, even if the whole damn bar heard. He grabbed your hair and jerked your head back, "Look at yourself, I want you to see your face when you realize you can't handle me."

To have his best recruit below him like this, pupils blown wide with need as your face grew red at the sight of yourself. "Be embarrased, soldier." König slapped your ass as hard as he could, feeling a strange sense of pride as the redness whelped up in the shape of his hand, "I want you to see how your eyes are going to cross when I'm pressed deep." There was a certain type of heat that slammed into your gut when König spit into his hand, intensifying when he slapped it painfully to your core. The colonel was a brutal man, but be damned if you didn't find the pain delicious.

He found it enticing that you were so eager for him and ready for him to be balls deep in your body. The sound of his zipper echoed around the bathroom as he pulled out his cock, "Don't prepare yet, I'll warn you before I sink in." A deep, gutteral groan sounded from the deepest depths of his lungs as König rubbed the head of his cock against the hot skin of your ass cheek. Feeling the heat from your skin on his tip, it made his spine tingle. "Shit...I'm going in, brace."

You were too quick to grab the sink, plant your feet, and arch your back. But it still wasn't fast enough. By the time you had planted your feet, König had slammed into you. He loved the way you felt, the sounds you made, the way your eyes went wide, and then crossed. His large hand wrapped under your chin, forcing your eyes to the mirror, "Watch yourself come apart on my cock, fucking watch as you realize you're foolish."

Every moan and sound that came from your throat echoed beautifully around the walls of the small room. It wasn't until König started to move, pressing as deep as he could and as hard as he could, that you were able to understand not only his size but the strength your colonel possessed. Even if you were fifty percent sure he was holding back a little bit. Large hands gripped your waist, jerking you back onto him, his own heavy groans sounding above your head. In the mirror, you could see the way his eyes were trained on where he was sinking into you, completely entranced that you were taking him despite his size and force.

"Good, good job, love." König praised you, spitting on the connection, "Keep gripping the sink, baby. Don't let go."

It didn't really matter, though, because the more he moved, the closer you got. It was like he was filling every little spot, rubbing and then-

König chuckled as you came, your hands slipping on the sink, and your cry of pleasure was music to his ears. He brought you down from the clouds, slowly easing you back to your mind. "Are you with it, schatz? Present and capable?" He was gentle now, stroking your jaw and practically cooing. Patience was a virtue, and when you nodded, König chuckled and eased out of you, "Have you learned your lesson about challenging a colonel?"

Shit... of course you didn't.

[uwuowotf2waslife]

What does your husbando/waifu/nonbinary barbie-crotched S/O says about you?

TW: slight teasing,but oh well...., also nsfw themes and swearing ( sowwy)

TEAM FARTRESS 2

Scooter/weanie man: complete morosexual or the unhuman need to take care of Boston inhabitants with room temperature EQ ( en englais: you have the mommy/daddy/parent kink and you want to show that boi all the love he deserves)

Soldier: you are a human carpet ( sub) or so Dom my sibling in Christ I am terrified. You think his bravery/randomness is endearing or you got roped in by every tumblr/wattpad headcanon potraying him as the ultimate beefcake ( cant argue with you, mofo built like a brickhouse on steroids without the roids.)

Pybro: A. you are a nonbinary peep and any nb representation makes your ovaries/balls/reproductive parts COMBUst with excitment. B. intense latex/leather kink with slight burn/wax play on main. I am both afraid and faschinated by your ability to flesh out on a person we barely know the most basics of their personaility, Godspeed you allmighty bAstERD <3

eNGIe: cowboy appreciator, daddy seeker and parental figure creamer connesuer, you fell in love with the ( here ) so much you actively search and look out for the gruff, wrench handling and guitar-playing texas man of your dreams. No matter your gender or sexuality engie hits that hotspot only the daddiest of daddies hit !

Heavy: rare breed of bear enjoyer, probs an older sibling that wants to make the older sibling ( tired, unhydrated and slighty (( extremely)) in need of therapy) pair. Probably not a huge shipper since you view HeavyMedic as more of a platonic pairing, or you are of the rarest Medicx Reader x Heavy poly sandwich. Please dont hug him too tight, hell hug tired and make your eyes pop like a cheap pop eyed toy.

Demo: contrary to popular belief, you are not a bbc enjoyer/seeker, Demoman isnt just a sextoy to you. He is just the only level headed person you see in a team of morons ( for u) or manchildren with murder tendencies and well, JUST LOOK AT HIM, HE IS BUILT WITH ABBS LIKE A WASHBOARD AND LOVES HIS MOM, HE IS NOT HUSBAND MATERIAL. HE IS SOULMATE/LOVE TILL DEATH ( WONT DO YOU PART, HE KNOWS MAGIK TO RECITATE YOU) , PLEASE I SALUTE YOU YOU GLORIOUS TAVISH ENJOYER!

Medic: WE GET IT HE IS HANDSOME AND SOUNDS EITHER LIKE A CHICKEN WITH A TOP TIER DANTE DEMON OR HOT GERMAN GILF! Please dont canoodle him so hard, youll throw out his back or break his hip. Also very questionable kinks ( i see you blood kinksters). You unironically are the I cAn MakE HiM So MUch WorSE squad and you scare me.

Sniper: yes he is the ratman ofyour dreams and yes he is also really pretty, but please stop treating him like a man who aint also a hired killer. Yes he wont even think to correct his Macas orders, but he will and can make you swoon so hard you look redder than Pyros suit, mans gots that outdoors, unshowered , rugged swagg and he is rocking it harder than the fricking 80s <3 <3

Spah: yesh you have a french kink, yes you want him to whisper in your ear soft french while he btters your bagguet, probably into dilfs or gilfs in the distance because none is a dilf /suave/sensual enough for you. ( perfume isnt a shower, go to shower now, mon petit coucou

RESIDENT EVIL VILLAGE ( or the bimbofied RE4)

Lady Alcina Dimitrescu: a cis male/ a sapphic soul/trans,enby vagabond who respectfully wants to drown while motorboating he absolute units of bazoongas. Perhaps slight size kink and perhaps a person who doesnt mind a good blood slurped by their F! S/O if their tumm had the ramblies. Please dont go overboard, or youll enter the unholy assemblange of vore/stuffing kink irl

Donna Bienevento: creepypasta kid, you unironically got spooked first time you read Jeff the Killer. Probably into some questionable types of literature, hardcore horror enjoyer who also has a sanrio addiction. You have tried some kinds of handcraftmanship and might even have some hobbies that involve handiwork. I applaud you, but please dont give the basement FEOTus monster your choccy milk, itll have the zoomies and knock of angies card-castle.

Salvatore Moreau: the epitome of I can fix him! peeps, probably slight hurt/comfort enjoyer. You saw how dirty all the other treat him and you crave to make fish man happy. Both feet in monsterfuckening domain, unironically want to do the dirty while he is at monster form. Maybe you saw the Shape of Water and your brain did the thingy, but oh well, please continue on and make the lord of the reservoir the happiest fish in the sea!

Karl Heisenberg : you slimy, daddy kinked bAsterds, cant we have one game with a slight rat man with a good VA without yall flocking to him like lycans to his factory for french toast scraps??? slight bdsm enjoyer, or person who wants metal rat man happy and softened out like a soviet made breadcutter blade after a top tier professional restoration. Either way, please handle with care he may cry if you hug him the good way

The duke: an absolute chad who may or may not want to drown all your sorrows to a large, beautiful, suave man hug ( or man-thing, you never know.) You seriously deserve the world, because you be pumping fics faster than a heated political debate on Reddit. Also probably a slight hand kink, we all show those monsters at the Shadow of Rose DLC.

[zwiezraczek]

Do you take requests? If so could you write a fic of four x reader from fours point of view instead or readers? Maybe she just joined the team and it’s about first impressions. Maybe first impressions could also be the name of it? Idk idk I’m just trying to think here sorry!! 💙💙💙

First impressions [Request]

Note: I'm SO SO SO sorry for making you wait for so long for this! I was really like in a bad mood for a longer moment and... Well, not the time and place to ramble haha ^^" Don't be sorry for proposing things, it's always good! I like hearing ideas about blurbs/requests it's always interesting! And I think the title is quite nice actually! ^^ I hope you'll like it 💙 Nonnie! 💕💕💕

PS: Guilty of being listening to 1D... Guilty

 ~~~

You entered the room, and immediately you caught his attention. You absolutely weren't what he had expected when One had talked to all of them about a new member in their Ghosts Squad, moreover a nerdy one. He always had imagined nerdy girls to be clumsy, absolutely shy and quirky but you didn't match this description, at least not in his eyes.

First, when he saw you, you gave him the impression of being Eliott from Mr Robot. Nothing too charming in fact, as you had your brown bag across your shoulder which seemed heavy, and probably carried some informatics material, your gray hoodie hid your hair, and when you finally took it off Four could see you properly, and Five had to elbow him in order to not stay there like a moron, mouth agape as he looked at you being introduced by One.

“This is Eight,” One said while gesturing towards you still standing in the door frame. “She's our informatics genius, now Three you're free to be the hitman on your own again,” he joked as you put your bag on the floor and Three made a victorious expression.

“Nice to meet you all,” you casually said and Four had to shake his head before waving at you.

“I'm Four, parkour expert,” he said with a little smirk and you waved back at him.

“Four's the less shy of them all,” One said to you as you made your way to sit on the table in front of them.

“I'm not shy, I'm just patient,” Seven argued as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Here you have Seven our sniper, Three the hitman, Two our lovely mole, Five our doctor and... Me, the One and only. And that's all I guess, we're all here.”

“... And Six,” you asked, a bit perplex.

“He's gone,” Four replied, a bit bitterly.

When he first talked about it to an unknown person, Seven, he felt casually detached from it. Six was a number, nobody else, no more, he was just a casualty in the war they had. But the more he told Seven about Six, the more he felt the pain of losing him, especially now when they had no big mission to fill the void in his mind and heart. But he never told anyone, besides Seven and Five – Five insisted, and Five told him that as a doctor she was obliged to help him mentally, and as a friend she wanted him to fell the best he could. He tried to cope, but coping with death wasn't as easy as he thought it would be.

“Oh, sorry,” you said quietly with a sad expression, “I didn't mean to...”

“It's alright, we're good,” Four quickly said, with a smile on his face, hiding the remains of pain in his heart. “So, you're the genius One keeps bragging about? Can't wait to see you inaction.”

And indeed, he couldn't wait.

~~~

“Four, can I come in,” you asked as you knocked on his trailer door.

He looked at you, and nodded before you entered his trailer and sat on his couch. This was right after your first mission together, and as you stayed in the van protected by Three the driver, Four was navigating through the place with your help in his ear. This was the most thrilling mission he had after a long moment. He felt like a true ninja, knowing where to go or not, where the bad guys were and how he had to avoid them. All of that, thanks to you.

“What a mission,” you finally said after looking at him with a bright smile.

“The greatest since ages,” he commented while looking at you. The greatest thanks to you, he thought.

“That was just insane, how I managed to break in and how I made you walk through these places... I felt like in a video game, except my character had will and was actually alive.”

“Wow, never thought I would be compared to a game character, I'll remember that,” he said jokingly and you rolled your eyes.

“Oh come on, I didn't mean that... You're so touchy I swear to god,” you complained as you crossed your legs and he laughed everything off. “But seriously, I was quite impressed by your abilities! Like, holly shit, I knew that you are a parkour expert, but I didn't expect... That!”

“That,” he repeated, arching an eyebrow. He couldn't tell if what you said was positive or negative, and it bugged him a lot.

“Don't make me compliment you more than I already did,” you warned him and he felt relieved. His shoulders were less tense, and his smile widened. He could have swore that you blushed, but he might have imagined it all as well.

“So... What did you wanted exactly?” he dared to ask and you immediately seemed fidgety.

“Well... I... Just wanted to hang out? Like you, know, in a friendly way? It was my first mission and I'm high on adrenaline right now, and holly shit I just wanted to babble about this with somebody because that was insane! Two was insane, what Three did with that car? Insane. Five's cold blood? Godamnit, she's a badass. And Seven? Wow. Not to mention you again, like that was perfection perfectly executed!”

“Perfection,” he repeated and now you blushed, definitely, he was sure of that.

“... Like in Perfect, the song, you know,” you seemed to try to make your way out of this by some obscure reference, at least it seemed an obscure reference to him, but he couldn't think too much about it before you continued. “So, I was saying, that this mission was actually batshit! Can you imagine...”

Yes he absolutely and definitely could. And now, he had to find the Perfect song.

~~~

He knew that what he was doing was dumb, but he wanted to try. He knew that putting this note in front of your trailer might have been an error – especially if someone had noticed it and would come instead of you – but he wanted to try. Because you told him that you always wanted a little secret rendez-vous with someone, at least it was what he got from the song. That was pretty smart and smooth, and he hoped that he had guessed it right. He knew that he probably wasn't perfect, but at least he wanted to try to be the best he could.

He put all his efforts into preparing this picnic, with Seven's help, at night with candlelight right under the stars. And as he was sitting on the blanket, he heard footsteps in the colddesert night and he turned around. And you stood there, wearing that same sweatshirt he first saw you in, trying to heat yourself up with your hand rubbing your arms as you smiled at him.

“So you're trying to freeze me,” you asked with a little smirk as you sat next to him.

“Oh come on, Eight,” he whispered jokingly as he put a blanket over your shoulders, “I would never.”

“What a liar,” you stated as you wrapped yourself in the said blanket. “So, whose death are we celebrating?”

“You think so poorly of me,” he said, faking a disappointment and offense. “Can not a Four invite an Eight to a secret little rendez-vous?”

“So this is what it is,” you said teasingly as you looked at him.

He had guessed the song well. He blushed. He could feel his cheeks burning. Seven had warned him, but he had refused to listen to him, although he knew you were cheeky and playful. He tried to collect himself, unsuccessfully. But you were probably quicker than he would have been, wrapping one arm around him with the blanket. He was already feeling hot, but now he was just burning under that blanket and being touched by you.

“I can't let my date die from the cold then,” you said with a little smirk before you put your head on his shoulder and immediately his heart began to race. “So, what have you planned for our little getaway? Music? Vine? Stargazing? I love stargazing,” you said excited.

“Will stargazing and beer be enough,” he asked, daring to put his arm around you under that blanket. In the darkness, everything seemed easier, especially while he saw your eyes glowing as you looked up at him, taking your head away from his shoulder.

“I'm absolutely all for this.”

He froze for a moment, detailing your glistening eyes in the moonlight, under the sky full of stars. You smiled, you had the most radiant smile he had seen in ages and he knew. He knew that he wanted to taste these pink tinted lips of yours, the he wanted to run his fingers through your hair. He knew it all.

“Oh please, kiss me already,” you said after him looking at you for that long.

And he didn't know what had happened at that very moment, but he dared. And he kissed you, he tasted your pretty lips. And he felt heaven, under the stars. Because his first impression was the right one: you were the one.

[devilslcg]

The crew was finally back together in Wano. Usopp was very happy to see their cook, especially if it meant he didn’t have to babysit Zoro anymore. He wants to ask what happened but they just sit there for a moment in silence. “Glad to have you back man.” & that’s all Usopp was planning on saying but suddenly Sanji just let it all out, everything from Pudding, to his family ( The family part hit him hard ) and all Usopp could do was hold Sanji tight. “don’t worry about it, you got us. & if it makes you feel any better, you have me to think of as your brother. I consider you to be more family than my own dad. Although it must suck for you to be stuck with me hehe. Anyways let’s just look forward to what the future brings us, no matter what happens I’d never give up on you.” He doesn’t say anything else but Usopp does give him a soft kiss on the cheek and a pat on his shoulders. “If you need a moment to yourself then don’t worry, I’ll keep Luffy and our Mosshead out of your hair.” 

❤; @valiantbcrn

Sanji had hoped that the others would be around when he finally broke down, but Usopp was as good a start as any. He was the best start, actually, now that he had finished his emotional rambling and had time to think. For as long as he could remember, the sniper had been the one he got along with most. There wasn’t a single member of their crew ( new and old ) that he disliked. Despite how he behaved, Zoro was still a good friend. But, when he looked back, he knew Usopp was the first he would have considered a brother.

Sniffling grossly and rubbing at his eye with the heel of his palm, he tried toughen up. He had used up most of his tears back in Tottoland, but there had still been a few to spare when he finally saw the other half of his friends. They hadn’t been there to witness the cook’s weakness or experience the horrors he had put them through, but he wanted to tell them the truth. They deserved it.

Leaning to the side, he bumped shoulders with the man and snorted. “You’ve already been my brother, moron.”

The kiss to his cheek didn’t disturb him like it would have on any other day. He took it and tucked it away, accepting for that moment that it was alright to accept affection from others. Brothers didn’t have to be at each other’s throats every second of every day, regardless the fact that he would likely be arguing with them later for whatever reason.

Another bump was given, but Sanji had fallen silent by now. There was a tiny twitch on the corner of his lips, a silent thank you. He would show real appreciation once he got his hands on some ingredients. Later, he would make it a point to make Usopp’s favorite just to prove he was grateful.

“Thanks.  .  .”

[spiteandalice]

Judas Touch Pt. 4

Yeah, yeah, I’m an asshole that never updates because life sucks and I’m not writing anything else, absolutely not. If it helps any, I roleplay on another platform and people have been waiting for my replies for EVER. I know it doesn’t, but I tried.

This contains language and a bit of violence, not really smut (spoiler alert). Sorry.

@beautifulramblingbrains and @beltz2016

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

The next morning is a day off and I wake up half buried under a mountain of hair and muscles - I’m on my back and Eric is half on top of me, his face in the crook of my neck. Even worse, both my arms are wrapped around him and even though my neck hurts I don’t really feel like moving. It’s as if we had this unspoken rule about no touching and since that was broken by a stupid foot hooked over my leg all bets are off now. And I’m not sure if I mind or not. Not yet.

Well, actually, I need to pee and my neck really does hurt like a bitch. Not to mention all the cuts and bruises that are still healing. I try to sort of wiggle out from underneath him, which he immediately reacts to by grinding his hips against me. We are both naked and I can feel him harden against the inside of my thigh.

“Don’t even think about it, I need to get ready for my appointment. You know, the one with the birth control shot.”

Eric grumbles and I realize that this is the second time I’m awake before him. Usually he would be sitting in the kitchen going over paperwork because Mr. Posterboy never takes a day off. It’s beneath him to have a life outside of leadership duties, actually having a life is for peasants, not robots. Although I’m beginning to think that he just didn’t have anything better to do with his time. Maybe.

“Any plans for today?”

 The way he lazily stretches and refuses to roll off me admittedly does things to me and I am half resigned to giving in to a different primal urge before leaving the bed. I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad to have a quickie right about now. Except that our quickies aren’t always so quick, at least not when we’re not pressed for time or have to worry about getting caught like that one time in the Pit.

“Going back to bed as soon as they poked me with that needle, probably. I kind of enjoy a bed and sheets and all of that.”

I feel him frown against my skin, we have yet to discuss the finer details of my captivity. Eric wasn’t around for my questioning after I came back. Which is strange, because the other leaders were there, although I suspect that that was not at all coincidental. Either he kept himself away or Max did, for everyone’s safety... And I’m sure he has seen the transcripts, if not the actual video footage they surely kept for posterity. Anyway, I’m not about to discuss that with him, not like this, not ever. Eric bites my neck and I slap his shoulder, feeling him chuckle more than hearing it.

Maybe I’m going soft but this is something I’m not entirely opposed to happening again. But not now. Not when I need to make sure I don’t get pregnant. It’s not technically something I am supposed to be doing, since older Dauntless are supposed to multiply like rabbits unless there is a valid medical reason for it, but given my recent trauma I was granted an extension of that courtesy. Now that I’m a leader there will be more pressure about breeding, something Eric is only vaguely subjected to because he doesn’t have a womb. Funny how that goes, isn’t it.

On my way to the infirmary, one of the first routes most Dauntless memorize along with the training room, dorms and feeding hole, a lackey stops me, looking quite agitated.

“Max needs to speak to you, he’s in the conference room.”

Rolling my eyes I send a quick message to move my appointment to a later time slot for the day and swerve around a few mingling Dauntless to get to the conference room overlooking the stupid Pit. One of the milling people is Four and I briefly nod at him before I realize he is coming in as well. This can’t be good. At all. For a moment I consider kind of rubbing against him, just to see if Eric can smell his arch nemesis on me and if he would react in a way that would be beneficial for myself. Again, angry sex is the best we usually have. At least one of us usually is, anyway.

Instead there is talk about a Factionless problem, a relatively small group has assembled and is moving towards Amity. Apparently they are armed and our guards out there are completely useless, as usual. After just a brief back and forth, Max wanted my input because I was often out there as ambassador, I am voluntold to lead a squad that will go out there, kick some ass, and get shit done. Four strongly protests my involvement because I can “barely hold myself upright” as he said. I raise an eyebrow at him as I glare, with my arms crossed and he mutters something that could be “creepy”. My humble request to get a cape and some theme song blasting as we drive is denied with a stern look, so I go suit up and head out within less than fifteen minutes. There wasn’t any time to inform Eric, which has nothing to do with the fact that he would have come stomping across the compound to physically drag me away from the armored truck and chain me to his bed. I mean, no complaints about the second part, but under different circumstances. I don’t really want to be out there, but safety in numbers, right? Last time I was traveling by myself. Now we’re ten highly specialized and well trained soldiers, what could go wrong.

As it turns out, a lot.

 The small gathering with a potential for unrest has quickly morphed into a fairly large mingling of shouting people and quite a few of them are armed and not at all happy to see us. We spread out to circle them, they have congregated in an abandoned warehouse district because of course they did, and we all pull off strategic moves like this in our sleep. That is, unless someone has to piss on our parade. That’s right, piss. This is much more disgusting than mere rain.

“Mina, watch the rooftops, I’m seeing movement up there.”

Four is in one of the trucks, a surveillance unit, keeping track of anything. It has paid off in the past, the Erudites have revived some ancient technology and brought it up to modern standards. So now we have cameras that pick up on body heat that are mobile and zip around overhead, which is nice.

Seconds later I hear the first screams, and the fact that I could put names and faces to those voices that drift over to me through the noise of gunshots is making my stomach turn.

“Take cover, for fuck’s sake!”

I duck into a gaping hole that used to be a loading bay and look around, waiting for the snipers to show themselves. One is dumb enough to show his head and I take him out with my rifle.  Killing off my team ruined my already sour mood and I forget about not wanting to be out here, or being the last one standing so they can drag me back to their stupid leader for some more torture. Not gonna happen, not today or ever. Assholes.

“Status report, you fuckers better be alive or I’m going to personally drag you out of hell!”

One after the other they pipe up, two reporting minor injuries, but nothing they can’t walk off. Well, Alex might have some problems with that because the idiot got shot in the leg. Seriously.

After some back and forth we agree to rendezvous at a building just north of this clusterfuck, because at this point I’m not entirely certain that some moron isn’t listening in to our conversations. If the Factionless have guns, who knows what else they have? Most of them weren’t born into this, they bring a mixed bag of knowledge from their Factions of birth with them and Matthews can ramble about her insanely paranoid bullshit all she wants, she can’t tell me that having this disenfranchised group of pissed off people gathered unsupervised somewhere in the city is a great idea. But I’m not stupid enough to think that anyone would listen to me even now, as a leader.

Alex limps in last, held up by Tyler, and we huddle together. We briefly discuss our options when I hear an explosion. Because of course they are blowing shit up now, when has anything ever been easy? The entrance to the building crumbles and we are temporarily blinded by dust. I try to radio Four but communication has been cut off entirely.

Sigh.

We position ourselves along the windows of the first floor, there is a less than trustworthy metal runway along the walls that sways ever so slightly every time one of us moves. The streets are eerily empty and I am pretty sure it will not stay like this for long. We keep the people to our left and right within sight and I communicate my commands via hand signals. If anyone out there is listening they can think we’re dead, it will make putting a bullet through their heads so much more fun. It must be colder than I thought because I’m shaking.

After a little over an hour I give up, I will not sit here and starve for nothing, as tempting as it sounds. I carefully look over the streets below us, a lot of the buildings are nothing but the crumbling remains of the outer walls, so they don’t really provide any shelter. I linger a moment too long and a bullet takes out a chunk of the brick next to my head. Fuckers! But where are they hiding? There is nothing… then it hits me. If you don’t look from the right angle you can’t see it but they built walls in front of walls, from the materials of the crumbling buildings, creating perfect spots for Factionless with guns to hide out without being seen. They planned this!

With a low whistle I get Luke’s attention, he’s to my left, and signal to him. This form of communication has come in so handy way too often for me not to be grateful for hours of barely staying awake trying to learn this shit. I task them all to look for these spots, to count just how many rebels we are dealing with so we can pick them off, one by one. They probably think that we will come out sooner or later, and I almost did walk into my own demise. It’s an unpleasant thought but it helps me fight against the tremors that are still rippling through my entire body.

Maybe I really wasn’t ready for this after all.

Alex is the one that figures out that there is just one post far off on his side so I forgive him for getting shot, he’s making up for it right now. There is no reason for anyone to give me cover, since they obviously don’t have to come out of hiding to shoot us. The exit has been blown to smithereens and the back entrance is blocked from the outside so I have no choice but to leave through a window. There is a halfway intact building right next to ours that is at an angle that ensures that I won’t be seen by all but one of our playmates so I’ll have to take a chance. Leaving my team with detailed instructions I carefully lean out of the window that hasn’t had a glass in it for what looks like decades, and try not to acknowledge the ten foot drop below me.

Heights are a common occurrence in fear landscapes to the point of boring me to tears so I am good.

Trying not to think about smashing to the concrete below and splintering bones I assess the distance once more, take a step back and hurl myself out of the small opening. The roof of the adjacent building makes a less than reassuring sound when I drop onto it, but other than that it is eerily quiet. Those bastards must have heard me, there is no way they haven’t.

So I stay low as I creep across the rubble towards what used to be a skylight, hoping that luck is on my side for once and that there is no glass or rusted shut metal keeping me from sneaking out.

Who would have thought, it used to be a metal trapdoor that is entirely missing. Score one for team Dauntless. There is no ladder anywhere in sight but a pile of gravel underneath that makes the impact almost painless, at least would if you weren’t injured already. I grit my teeth and curse inwardly, that’ll have to do for now. A quick glance at my watch tells me that we have been gone for almost three hours, without radio contact for over two. Eric must be livid.

I duck and approach one of the windows at street level, I should be directly behind the lone outpost on this side, as I peek over the ledge I see a man in Amity jacket and Erudite shirt in his late thirties who falls back when I shoot him between the eyes.

Moments later the building I am taking shelter in is going up in flames and I’m forced to give up my cushy hiding spot. Someone is giving me cover as I sprint across the street, painfully aware of every bone and muscle in my body. Just as I lunge for the remainders of an old car bullets begin to rain down on me and one grazes my shoulder. Cursing loudly I roll behind it, landing on the gritty asphalt with my newly injured shoulder. With a loud scream I get back up and begin walking towards the corner of the street where most of the snipers are hiding, fresh out of fucks.

When I come back to I am looking at about twenty bodies on the way from the car to the square where their group was assembled earlier. Peering around the corner of the dilapidated building I see that the crowd is still there and in a panic, but they can’t go anywhere. I’m in one of four roads leading to the square, two others are effectively blocked by my team, who pick off anyone who decides to come too close. I can’t even begin to formulate just how proud that sight is making me feel right now. They got out of the building and came over here all on their own, brainless soldiers my ass! The fourth access is where they blew up yet another something.

Squinting I look a little closer and realize that they didn’t explode anything. Someone shot a missile into the crowd from an armored truck that definitely did not leave the compound with us.

“The fuck do I care about your technical mumbo-jumbo, Four. Find the right channel, today, or I swear I will add at least six more fears to your landscape.”

That angry snarling suddenly coming through the earpiece is music in my ears, honestly, but he can’t come barging in like some overly territorial mutt every single fucking time I’m leaving the walls of Dauntless. I mean, he’s only done it once but that’s already too much.

“Have you come to undermine my authority, <i>fellow leader</i>?”

I can see his head whip around even from a distance and can’t help but grin. Maybe sprinting across the square would be a little too cheesy, but he stalks while I limp so I guess that’s as close as it gets at this point. He grabs me and growls, I laugh and I could swear we even kiss briefly, but there was rubble raining down on my head so I probably just have a concussion. Alex and I are the only ones injured and they drag us, well me, onto the truck Eric came in on and shuttle us back to the compound for some serious medical attention. I sit in the back with Eric, Alex passed out on a gurney a few feet away. It’s hard to ignore the glare that is currently drilling holes into my skull.

“What, Eric,” I finally spit because the whole patience thing has never really worked well for me. “Do you want me to thank you for acting like some crazy idiot just because I went on a mission? You know, we have this awesome, modern gadget they call a phone. You can use it to contact people instead of going into full on idiot mode and blowing up half the city.”

To illustrate my point I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket to wave it in his face. In the process I realize that the screen is black because the battery died. Unfortunately Eric notices, too, and I want to wipe that smirk off his face.

“Now that you know what a phone is let me introduce you to the invention that goes with it, we call it a charger…”

That smirk disappears when my phone hits him in the forehead.

“What the fuck!”

I double over with silent laughter, but then I realize that my ribs are at least bruised, if not broken, and it hurts too much to laugh. So I scowl at him instead, which doesn’t have the desired effect at all. Eric goes serious all of a sudden and grabs me, ignoring my protests, and pulls me onto his lap.

“You seriously need to stop getting yourself in danger like that.”

 The armored truck hits a really deep pothole and I hit my head on the roof, making me see stars for just a moment. Eric pulls my head against his shoulder with a surprising lack of force, and I let him. I’m too tired to put up much of a fight anyway,

 “Eric, honey, we’re Dauntless. This is what we’re supposed to do.”

That barely audible mumbling that contains more creative swear words than you’d hear during an hour long sparring session at any given time is answer enough, apparently he doesn’t agree with me on that one. We’re supposed to be super awesome super soldiers but this new direction we’re headed in seems to be geared towards mindless numbskulls with big arms. Instead of dignifying that with a response I close my eyes and let the engine noise lull me to sleep. It almost feels as if a hand is gently stroking my head but that’s just my concussion talking.

PART FIVE

[davidcarner]

Chuck and Sarah vs The 2nd Grade Ch 2, The New Job

A/N: I swear…you guys…thank you. You just freaking humble me some days. So this is all of this that is written, and I promised I'd finish a few things before I pick it back up. This give you the majority of the backstory. This may be the last thing I post until after Thanksgiving. Dad is still in the hospital recovering and frankly I'm about beat. But enough about me, I give you Chuck and Sarah vs The 2nd Grade Ch 2, New Job

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck,

Sarah walked into her apartment and shut the door behind her. There was no pain today in her leg, just soreness and stiffness. Ninety-five percent of the people who met her couldn't tell anything was wrong with her. The problem was CIA medical. They wouldn't clear her for field work. She could have stayed, been an analyst, taught, station chief was mentioned, but if she couldn't be in the field she thought maybe she could do something different. She thought about the…what had Bryce called the thing he read, a trade paper back? Anyway the book was funnily enough called Detective, but it had Batman, which she didn't understand. What she did understand was a character with a leg injury starting his own detective agency. She had thought about it, but decided it sounded too much like a bad movie. Her life was already too much like a bad movie no one would believe. A knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts.

She walked over to the door, opened it, saw who it was, slammed it, and walked away. A few seconds later, the door opened and Carina walked in.

"I don't know if that was necessary."

Sarah continued on toward the kitchen, rolling her eyes where her friend couldn't see them. "Don't care."

"Blondie, I need your help."

Sarah spun, but winced when she planted her leg. "I CAN'T! Get it through your skull Carina, Bryce screwed me over, got me hurt, and I. Can't. Help!"

Carina studied her. "They think you're helping him."

"WHAT!?"

"You know the Bartowski kid in your class? Child of Charles Bartowski and Jill Roberts, both of them went to college with Bryce." Sarah's eyes were wide. She walked over to a stool at her bar and sat down. Carina came further inside. "Talk to me," she said softly.

"Just tell me all of it," Sarah choked out.

"Drink?"

"Please." Carina poured Sarah one, and she slammed it back. "Tell me," she said again.

"Chuck was Bryce's roommate in college. From all accounts, Bryce introduced the two of them, Jill and Chuck, to each other. Jill is running Roberts Pharmaceuticals and thought to be behind some very bad things."

Sarah nodded. "Chuck is a bad guy."

Carina shrugged. "No idea, but he's Bryce's friend, Jill's baby daddy…plus, get this, Roan Montgomery is your new principal at the school."

Sarah gave her a look. She had heard earlier today there was new principal, but why in the hell would Carina care? "Yeah I've heard," Sarah said. "Wait, why does that matter." Carina gave her a look. Sarah started thinking. She knew the name, in fact, she had a class with him at the farm years ago. "You don't mean THE Roan Montgomery?" Carina nodded. "Wow!"

"Your job, if you chose to accept it, get close to Chuck and try to get something out of him about Jill. I'm going to hit him from the government security side. You should try and become friendly. You've still got one good leg and you know that nerd would fall over backwards for you."

Sarah stared at her. "I don't work that way."

"God, Walker, have you gotten laid since Bryce?" Sarah glared at her. "You don't have to make his dreams come true, just do what you know to do. Be sweet to him. Give him the ditsy blonde routine that only you can pull off."

"Amy was better at that than I was," she groused

Carina looked at her. "Damn, you are throwing one pity party. Okay, I'm out." Carina started to leave. "Be a shame to see that kid get put in foster care, especially if he's innocent."

Damn it, Carina. She huffed. "Wait." Carina turned, smirking. "I don't want his kid getting hurt, she's an innocent in all of this. She didn't do anything wrong. She doesn't deserve that."

"Fair," Carina agreed. "No sense getting her involved, she has nothing to do with this."

Sarah started thinking like a spy, something she hadn't actively done in a while. Why go this route? Why not…."Why don't you just seduce him?" Carina looked away trying to think of an excuse. "Wait, he turned you down?" Sarah had new respect for guy. Not that he deserved any respect doing his daughter the way he did.

"That's not important," Carina replied hurriedly. "Listen, Roan has hired him at the school as the computer teacher. Will you help us?" Sarah thought for a second and nodded. "I'll see if we can't get you paid out of this." She shrugged. "Come on, Blondie, this will be fun."

"He turned you down?" Carina rolled her eyes and walked toward the door, Sarah swinging the seat around to watch her. "Carina."

Carina stopped at the door and huffed. "Yes, Blondie, he turned me down, he was too worried about some dumb thing about having to see a teacher. It was the kid, you know they throw off my game." With that, she was gone. Sarah sat there and thought about what Carina said.

"So he blew off a date and went to make money," she said softly. She got up, went over to her computer, and logged into her old account. Maybe one day she'd get around to telling Director King it was still active. How was she to know he knew and was monitoring it in DC?

-ooooo-

Casey was in his robe, as usual, making breakfast. "How's the simulation coming?"

"I found two more buggy lines of code last night," Chuck replied yawning. "I appreciate the NSA connection, Casey, but it would be nice if they paid me a little more so I wouldn't have to have two jobs."

Casey eyed the eggs and grunted. "I've tried to talk to Beckman, over medium?"

"Please, and don't worry about it Casey, I can't ask for anything more than you've done." Chuck grabbed a plate. "I'm gonna have to go to the grocery store tonight."

"Can you please buy some real milk?"

Chuck laughed. "You know what the doctor said, Sam's not lactose intolerant."

Casey shook his head in disgust. "She's lactose unhappy, but who drinks a milk made of nuts? This isn't why I served my country, for you to have nut milk." Chuck listened to Casey ramble on. This was one of his rants he went off on every week or so.

Chuck's parents had been members of the CIA, the infamous Orion and Frost. During an operation when Ellie and Chuck were younger, the Bartowskis rescued Casey who had been injured. They finished John's mission but lost their lives. When Casey returned to the states he quickly became a part of their lives. Once Sam was born, he was Uncle Casey regardless of the amount of grunts and growling that came out of him protesting otherwise.

Casey couldn't stand Jill. He thought she had done Chuck wrong, and there were no words for how he felt she had done Sam. Casey helped where he could with Chuck, but they both agreed they needed time apart sometimes….especially when Casey started talking about how his trigger finger still worked just fine and he still had good sniper skills.

Casey had been quiet for a bit. He had this look on his face that Chuck had seen more since Sam had been born. It was what Chuck called, "It's none of my business but your my family," face.

"Spit it out, Casey."

"Thought you should know, I ran a background check on Sam's teacher."

Chuck groaned. "I thought we talked about this."

Casey shrugged. "You talked."

Chuck gave Casey a flat look. "We agreed."

Casey shrugged. "No, you told me what you thought I should do, and I did what I wanted to."

Chuck rolled his eyes. Typical Casey. The man who claimed not to be part of the family, yet every time Chuck turned around there he was right in the middle of everything. "Find anything interesting?" Chuck figured Casey did or he wouldn't have brought it up.

"She's former CIA, the Ice Queen." Chuck gave him a look. Casey ran his finger across his throat. "Wetwork specialist."

Chuck gulped. "Do I need to worry about discipline at school?"

Casey shook his head. "She's not going to hurt a kid, Moron."

Oh, it was Moron today. Casey was feeling especially sentimental. "You know the terms of endearment can go any time. Any. Time."

Casey grunted. "Walker was good. Hell, she was one of the best."

Chuck thought for a second. "Was? What happened?"

Casey thought for a second. He didn't need the whole story, just enough. He wasn't sure about her, but if he told Chuck the whole truth, he might damn her before they knew everything. "She was injured in an op when her partner did something stupid. He's believed to be dead." Chuck nodded.

"That's terrible." Casey was silent. "I feel there is more."

"Some think he went rogue and really isn't dead. They think he's contacting Walker."

"Casey, you say I talk alot, but for someone who says nothing, you've told me a whole lot that feels like you're circling a point. What is it?"

Casey shrugged. He knew he shouldn't. He really shouldn't. Chuck asked, Chuck was a big boy, so Chuck could hear the truth. "Her partner's name was Bryce Larkin."

Chuck looked at Casey, blinked a few times, looked away, licked his lips, turned back to Casey, got the courage, and spoke. "You know I had a roommate at college named Bryce Larkin."

"No shit," Casey replied. Chuck stared at him. Maybe the nerd really was a moron…"Okay, time to draw you a picture. Your former roommate is CIA."

Chuck closed his eyes. This was just ducky. "Anything else." There was silence and Chuck opened his eyes. The look on Casey's face told him all he needed to know. "Oh come on!"

"The principal at the school," Casey began.

Chuck slumped forward. Was the world actively plotting against him? "You mean the one that hired me?"

Casey nodded. "Roan Montgomery, seduction training specialist, CIA."

"Really? It's a shame you never had to take him." Casey looked away, uncomfortable. "Oh. Oh, my. Casey, whatever happened?"

Chuck was grinning like an idiot. Casey snarled at him. "None of your damn business is what happened."

Chuck laughed and thought for a second. "Say, Casey, you wouldn't happen to know a spy, who's very modelesque, a redhead and seemingly just oozes …uh."

"Carina Miller?" Casey asked in a choked voice. Chuck nodded. "Chuck me!"

-ooooo-

Chuck was in his computer lab when he heard a knock on the door. He turned and saw it was the same teacher from the other day that hadn't given him her name and turned out to be his daughter's teacher. The former spy, and who knows what now, besides teacher, Sarah Walker. "Can I help you?" He wasn't rude but he was a bit cool.

Sarah cursed herself inwardly. She had made things much harder on herself with what she had done to him the other night. She now had to smooth things over, and she really didn't want to smooth things over.

"Mr. Bartowski," she began.

"I told you it was Chuck," he replied. "I never did catch your name. Do you do that often, not tell parents who you are? Is it to figure out their problem solving skills? Because that's a very interesting way to engage parents." She could tell why he was irritated, however there was humor in his voice and on his face.

Sarah decided right then and there if this was going to work, she had to dial back her irritation with him. She put on a face of sincerity as she apologized. "I'm sorry. I had an appointment I had to keep and I knew if I told you my name I would be late."

Chuck nodded. "I was past the scheduled time of our meeting," he admitted. "I knew I shouldn't have gone in to the Buy More that morning." He huffed and ran a hand through his hair. "Raising a child on your own, you have to make some judgment calls, and obviously I made the wrong one."

Oh, he was charming. Was he sincere? She thought he was but she had thought Bryce was as well, as was her father. No….that wasn't true. She had thought her dad was her dad.

It was time to being, and in this case, she was going to kill two birds with one stone. "So, I'm supposed to use this calendar thingy to reserve some time, but I have no idea how to do it. I can barely make Friendster work half the time."

Chuck blinked a few times. Had she broken him? Had she switched topics too abruptly?

"Friendster?" The look on his face…he was laughing at her. She set her jaw. "I'm sorry, I just didn't know anyone still…you know what, it's not for me to judge. Perhaps that's all anyone ever taught you." She nodded her head haughtily. "I would be glad to teach you."

"Teach me what?" The look on her face it was almost like a challenge. The way she held her head, the determination in her face. God, she was amazing. Not physically, she was, but there was something inside of her, that was just special, unique, and Chuck had to get to know her better. He ached to know her, everything about her, and then he remembered Casey and his warning. The last thing Chuck needed was an ex-CIA agent in his life with his daughter around. But, she did need to know stuff…for the children. He should think of the children. He really tried to make himself believe that.

"Whatever," Chuck replied. "Whatever I can do to help."

Roan reached over and clicked off the monitor. He had seen enough. It was obvious these two had a connection, an attraction, even if they didn't know it yet. That wasn't good. While he hated to get in the way of love, this was his career. He needed to think about himself. He was the agent best known for seduction, but that also meant he knew what things went wrong. Chuck Bartowski was a nerd, Sarah Walker was not. These two people just didn't run in the same circles, didn't exist in the same plane. Roan would "help" Chuck with Sarah. That was sure to drive the wedge between them he needed, and then when Chuck was low, Roan would use him to get to Jill and get his job back. That's exactly what he would do.

A/N: Think of the children!…Hope you liked it, reviews and PMs are always welcomed…Til next time!

DC

[sn1p1ng888]

dream (NOT MINECRAFT FUK Y)

I had a dream I was in a toy store and they were selling tankmen squisme’s ,,,, like the rlly shitty quality fnaf ones but tankmen

they had Steve dressed as a human fast food drink cup

[sn1p1ng888]

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEN

+ SORRY TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS WHO WILL NOW HAVE TO PUT UP WITH MY STARKID OBSESSION RISING FROM THE GRAVE AFTER 2 YEARS OF DORMANCY 👹👹👹

ps: doing the tumblr trick or treat thing …. HeheheheheHEHEHEEEEEEE

[sn1p1ng888]

abt to do something illegal

moTHERFUCK

should’ve known the damn pussy website can’t handle a bit of boob humour ‼️‼️‼️ fuck this shit man today is the fuckin worst

[sn1p1ng888]

🚢🏈🎭?

I’m really not much of a shipper HENVNV 😭 I’ll go with Paul x Emma from The guy who didn’t like musicals, since I’m on starkid brainrot 👹

AUH MAN THIS IS HARD— both. I like both, but I’d say I indulge in the ✨fine arts✨ more since it’s more accessible to me, and I am a digital artist after all 😭 but water … I love water and swimming sm

[sn1p1ng888]

litl update

No tankgoretober today :( sorry sorry sorry the Covid is very much attacking me and I need to sleep i feel like I am dying

I will catch up tomorrow thoug !!!!

[sn1p1ng888]

DYINB

UPDATE: NVM I GOT IT THANKS KARROT/RAIN YOU SLAY

I SEE EVERYOME DOING TANKTOBER BUT IM NOT ON TWITTER (shadow perma banned I’ve literally never used it in my life 😭😭) CAN SOM1 PLS SEND ME THE PROMPT SHEET IVE JUST BEEN DRAWING MY SILLY TANKSONAS OVER NORMSL GORETOBER PROMPTS IM BEGGING INEEDTHEPROKPTS TANKTOBERWRAEWRWRARA

[sn1p1ng888]

I was looking for the video of the toilet that says ‘SKIBIDI BOP MM DAADAA’ and then explodes so I googled ‘Skibidi toilet’ and you probably know the rest

[sn1p1ng888]

story time (its tankmen related)

ok so 2021 was my Fnf phase (bc of fucking course it was) and it’s also what introduced me to NG (yeah you have legal permission to kill me) so I had the tankmen chase shirt and I showed up to my dad’s house wearing it and this was like 10 days b4 my birthday and my dad took one look at my shirt and he said ‘what’s on your shirt’ I said ‘tankmen’ he said ‘ok’ and then we didn’t talk about it for the whole day. I visit my dad the day after my birthday and I get handed a card with captain’s Fnf sprite on it with the caption ‘happy birthday [irl name]. UGH’ and I think j actually cried

i probably threw away the card bc it actually makes me want to commit a felony but if I can find it yall get to share me pain

oh yeah he also got me something 10x worse but I genuinely can’t even bear to look at it so y’all don’t get to see thar

poor dad he’s tryin but oh god why

[sn1p1ng888]

Found it on NEWGROUNDS EHAYEHEHFNFND

tbh though made my day worse liKe DAMN I FUCKIN MISS THAT STUPID BATTLEFIELD LIJE HOLY SHIT i wanna just SNIPE SOME SHITBAGS and stab the shiT out of any motherfucker who comes within 10 feet near me i want ALCOHOL I want MURDER i want ACTION LIKE HOLY SHIT LIFE WITH NO APOCALYPSE IS SO FUCKING BORING DUDE

anyone wanna kickstart the apocalypse w me

abt to do something illegal

moTHERFUCK

should’ve known the damn pussy website can’t handle a bit of boob humour ‼️‼️‼️ fuck this shit man today is the fuckin worst