#smoking while pregnant

[hazbmymhotel]

Hewwo 🦆

Hmmm, I know that would probably be TOO MUCH to ask but, huh, you might consider it if I ask for a Gregnant Mordecai? But like, him being a DISASTER about it? Lol

I'm sorry 🙏😔, As always, feel free to ignore me!

He’s going through it

[ftmdilfmode]

Why does my brain keep getting turned on at the idea of being pregnant and doing things pregnant people shouldn't do.

Drinking? I'd never drink while pregnant myself, but if you don't know, it's not like it's your fault.... Plus, what's one little drink to take the edge off...?

Smoking cigarettes and vaping? Yeah, it's not healthy, but they say it makes babies smaller. Wouldn't that make birth easier on me?

Fucking strangers raw. Yeah it's risky. What if they hurt me? It's just a chance I have to take.

Hiding the pregnancy. Yeah I wouldn't be getting prenatal care and I'm not getting any supplies together for the baby, but why do I need to tell everyone my business?

Trying to delay or induce labor to give birth on the day I want. Yeah there are some safe methods to do induce, but trying to hold it in? Or trying to induce labor as fast as possible? Maybe that's actually risky....

Giving birth unassisted at home. Yeah, people have died trying this, but I'm sure I'll be okay. After all, I can't have the orgasmic birth experience I want in a hospital, can I? They'll make it so awkward and uncomfortable.

Maybe I just want to be a "bad" parent... Maybe I just want to pretend...

[the-brainrot-central]

Hey sorry, been losing my mind. Have been stewing on it for a while and I figured fuck it, never gonna finish Atom Heart Father anyway so might as well drop some of my shitty headcanons here for people to enjoy in lieu of my lack of updates.

Anyways here:

ATOM HEART FATHER THOUGHTS

TW: this is mpreg, I repeat MPREG with KIRAS DAD. Don’t like, don’t read fam 👈👈👈😎😎😎👈👈👈

God where do I even START I have SO MANY THOUGHTS

Okay uhhh first of all this guy is just going through it with the nausea—I’m talking all day, every day for weeks straight at a time. Hyperemesis gravidarum is literal hell for him. He has to be hospitalized for a week because it gets so bad—he just can’t keep anything down anymore, not even water or simple foods. Finally they prescribe him some stronger shit and he’s mostly back to normal, and can actually function normally for the most part—the nausea comes and goes but it doesn’t interfere with his life like it did before

He’s SOFT. Just soft yknow???

He’s an autistic little nerd so of course he goes to the library and finds every pregnancy book, study, guide etc that he can get his hands on and he reads them ALL. In spite of his initial reservations and discomfort with the whole situation, pregnancy is pretty fascinating to him, and he likes feeling prepared and understanding what’s happening to his body and why—it gives him a better sense of control

Speak of autism, the Beatles are also one of his special interests. There’s this quirky little record shop in town that he starts going to (they sell all kinds of underground and overseas music that’s hard to get just anywhere—it’s a little pricy but worth it) and the guy there tells him to listen to the Beatles—“good shit man; changed my life. You won’t regret it.” The guy recommends him A Hard Day’s Night and he’s been a hardcore fan ever since.

He uses pregnancy as an excuse to indulge in his more feminine nature—he’ll buy flowers on the way home for example, saying they’re for his wife, but they’re really just for himself (she hates flowers, he throws them out before he gets home). Sometimes he’ll wear just a dash of his wife’s perfume or use some of her shampoo because it smells nice—though she’d murder him if she found out lmao

When his nausea gets better he has an incurable sweet tooth—he’ll go to the bakery on his way home and buy himself something almost every day (his wife, once again, would absolutely kill him if she found out)

In his third trimester, he starts stretching every night to help alleviate some of his aches, and he read somewhere that drinking milk is good for the baby so he does that too—hence where Kira gets his twenty minute stretches and warm milk routine (big brain)

Smoking while pregnant was still common in the sixties (look up JFK’s mom smoking while pregnant, it’s real), so I think he’d have a smoke every once and a while, to take the edge off when he’s stressed—he’s done it on and off for years, usually stops because it hurts his lungs and makes him cough.

[cheapcheapfaker]

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

is spy smoking cigs during pregnancy the reason why scout is...like that

Yes

[258punkweight]

skyler white was hot af for smoking while pregnant #tbh

[running-in-the-dark]

a random thing I just thought about: I had chicken pox when I was a kid, I think maybe 9 or 10? I remember being sent to my grandma's house for two weeks until I was better. I always thought that made sense so that my youngest brother, who would've been quite young, didn't get it too. but I just remembered that I'm pretty sure my other brother also had it at the same time?! and he stayed at home. so I think my mother just didn't want to deal with me when I was sick.

that would also explain a memory I have of lying on the couch when I was sick and my mother bringing me a bowl of soup. I was so confused. I remember that feeling so clearly. like 'what is she doing? why is she being so nice and giving me soup?'. I genuinely didn't get it.

every other time I was sick it was just: stay in bed with no entertainment or company whatsoever, and shitty home remedies - seriously, having onions strapped to my ears NEVER made my ear aches any better, and having thyme essential oils put on my pillow + in an oil burner thing in my room only made my face hurt (I'm allergic or at least very sensitive to most scents), and homeopathy... well obviously that didn't do anything.

so, I guess I'm glad I was at my grandma's for those two weeks. at least I got to lie on the couch and watch tv all day! and she was nice to me! I'm sure she made me lots of soup, or whatever I asked for.

[stupid-squabbler]

I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS

[arctic-hands]

Wonder what a functioning digestive system would have been like

[warningsine]

With the release of Kevin Can F—k Himself on AMC, a genre-bending dark comedy drama that takes deliberate aim at the misogyny that sits at the heart of our most popular and enduring pieces of pop culture, it seems that perhaps the time has finally come to publicly reckon with the way we view wives—sitcom and otherwise—on the television shows we watch. Even the show’s name is a play on the CBS sitcom title Kevin Can Wait, whose narrative storytelling was so lazy that they killed off Kevin’s wife Donna between its first and second seasons because they were “literally just running out of ideas,” and then barely mentioned her death onscreen.

Kevin Can F—k Himself openly acknowledges that the advantages Kevin McRoberts receives—constant adulation, an almost preternatural ability to luck his way out of ridiculous situations, a devoted wife whose hard work and constant presence he simply accepts as his due—only exist because the rules of the show he stars in require it. In the gritty prestige drama half of the series, which presents his wife as a character with interiority and her own necessary point of view, Allison realizes that she deserves better than a life cheerfully accepting uncomfortable period jokes as her lot. And her rage feels like a revelation.

It’s worth noting that AMC has something of a history with unfairly-hated TV wives. While Breaking Bad is frequently hailed as one of the best television series ever produced, the series is also memorable for something far less laudable. On the one hand, its complicated tale of a cancer-stricken chemistry teacher turned vicious drug kingpin is a harrowing watch, as Walter White descends into the worst sort of darkness and drags viewers right along with him. Its scale was somehow both grand and immediate, a morality play that carefully tears apart its characters’ lives on the way to an ending that still stands as one of the few examples of a prestige drama really sticking its landing.

And yet, for all the areas in which it excelled, Breaking Bad was never a show that really knew what to do with its female characters, and Skyler White—Walt’s put-upon wife who spent multiple seasons living in ignorance of his illicit and illegal extracurricular activities before being forced to become a co-conspirator whether she wanted to be or not—often seemed to exist solely as an object for viewers to despise.

Given that Breaking Bad is a story full of generally vile, reprehensible people doing everything from committing petty theft to engaging in torture and murder, it’s never really made a ton of sense that Skyler somehow emerged as the series’ most hated character. Unfairly maligned by many viewers for what essentially boils down to harshing Walt’s buzz, Skyler was constantly labeled a nagging killjoy for simply having the nerve to dislike the fact that her husband repeatedly lied to her about the most basic facts of their lives.

Narratively speaking, Skyler is meant to serve as Breaking Bad’s moral compass, a figure whose presence tarnishes Walt’s ambitions by reminding him that, actually, cooking crystal meth is both bad and illegal. Her unique point of view as the woman who has known Walt at his most normal and average helps puncture the fantasy he creates of Heisenberg, the badass one who knocks. Instead, she reveals him as he is: a delusional, ultimately pathetic man whose good intentions became monstrous in the end.     

That she ultimately becomes complicit in Walt’s crimes is another layer of tragedy in a show that already has multiple layers of heartbreak, but even at her worst, Skyler’s primary goal—ensuring the safety of her children—is generally a selfless one. (Walt’s, on the other hand…) Perhaps Skyler is judged harshly because she is both a woman and a mother, roles we have been culturally conditioned to see as both necessarily good and moral, therefore we just expect her to both know and do better than her reprobate spouse. After all, men are allegedly more susceptible to temptation and are always easily more forgiven when they fall short of the people they’re supposed to be, right?

Despite the fact that he is a criminal several times over, Walt is never blamed for putting his wife in an untenable and impossible position. Instead, it is Skyler who is disparaged as a grating, shrewish ball and chain who somehow just keeps getting in her amoral husband’s way and preventing him from doing crimes exactly the way he wants to. And Breaking Bad sadly does precious little to push back against that perception; the show is deeply uninterested in Skyler’s point of view, and rarely allows her character any sort of depth or nuance that might help viewers better grasp the difficult choices she’s facing.

Unfortunately, Skyler is hardly the only prestige TV leading lady—or even the only woman on an AMC network drama!—who is judged and found wanting for the crime of not being deferential enough to the man she married. Betty Draper Francis over on Mad Men certainly seemed to attract more than her fair share of criticism for simply having the nerve to divorce a man who cheated on her all the time. (How very dare!) And AMC’s The Walking Dead isn’t just famous for its array of grotesque monsters: Just say the name Lori Grimes to any longtime fan and you’ll learn pretty quickly that sexist double standards did indeed survive the zombie apocalypse. These women, like them or not, deserved better then and now—and they deserve to be remembered as more than flashpoints for fan vitriol.

In Kevin Can F—k Himself, Allison is given what Skyler, Betty, and Lori all lacked—a storytelling framework that makes the audience complicit in their own response. The sitcom segments of Kevin try to gaslight viewers into thinking that the often abusive way Kevin and his world treat his wife is not only acceptable, but it’s also hilarious. Except it isn’t, not even a little bit, and the drama half of the show refuses to let the folks watching it look away from that fact. It encourages us not just to sympathize with Allison’s anger, but to share it, and to hold ourselves at least partially responsible for all the years we spent laughing at women like her.

Perhaps if there had only been a Walt Can F—k Himself, we might have gotten to see Skyler in the same light.

[ftmdilfmode]

Idk how people are going to react to this but...

I really miss smoking weed while pregnant.

I have a medical card and I smoke every day, but smoking while pregnant is an experience I really miss. I know that people judge me for it, smoking when you're pregnant is bad in general and it's a drug that I wouldn't recommend using while you're pregnant without a medical reason, but I still love it and miss it.

I miss setting a bong or dab rig on my pregnant tummy in between hits. Feeling my baby bounce and kick when I cough. Rubbing my tummy and pregnant boycunt when the high kicks in.

Smoking joints in the bathtub while masturbating was also a fun one, usually with my favorite dildo suction cupped to the tub floor so I could ride it. Letting the ashes fall in the water and seeing them mix with the bubbles. Watching my tummy bob along as I fucked myself and smoked.

Using dab carts in public while heavily pregnant was always so much fun, too. People would stare and I know they probably thought I was a horrible parent, but I'm just doing my best and the benefits outweigh the risk. I even used my dab cart on my way to my scheduled C-section, just enjoying the last few moments of it as we bounced down the highway to the hospital, stoned and pregnant and happy and horny.

Nevermind the combination of being stoned and pregnancy brain. I was so stupid, so horny, so pliable and easy... It's kinda the best combination.

I need to get pregnant again as soon as possible and just be high and naked the entire pregnancy. I need that feeling again.

(OP is a man. He/they/it pronouns. D*trans, misgen, f@keboys DNI)

[romulussy]

not that it really matters but i like to hc roman’s birth year as 1982. partly because it’s a year of the dog but imo it feels right for kendall to be 3/4 years older than him. plus i think him and shiv are irish twins (or at most, two years apart) & in pre-nuptial gerri tells kendall the first time she visited caroline’s was 1986 “back when you guys were kids” which sort of tracks with her getting a foot in the door in the early 80s & then fast tracking the fuckery to be shiv’s godmother by 1984

[mothelette]

[poeticjusticeblr]

was gonna delete the file so i threw a sex party then she got pregnant..

[all-my-friends-were-glorious]

I'm perfectly sane.. everyone's thought of stabbing their brother. name one person who hasn't (squealittlepiggy) (to any muse you well have the muse for)

[ @squeallittlepiggy || Scott ]

[ Firkle ]

Lifting his head from where it had been lowered looking at his phone, Firkle's eyes unfocused for a second. Did Scott know the difference between a thought and speech? Honestly, he didn't think so.

Seated on the table of the picnic bench with his feet on the seat, he held his phone in both hands between his knees. With a little sigh through his nose, he reached into his breast pocket and pulled a pack of cheap cigarettes out. Shaking one out, he took it between his lips and pocketed the pack again.

Lighting up slowly, he kept his oceanic eyes on the other, and he finally rose an eyebrow as he exhaled.

"I'd be willing to bet most people without brothers have likely never thought of stabbing someone that doesn't exist." He began carefully, "Though the sentiment is definitely a... Well. I can agree with you to a point. He may not be related to me but there's someone I'm inexplicably tied with that I'd like to put a few holes in."

A pause, another drag off his cigarette, and then a disjointed scoff of a chuckle.

"But you're agreeing with me on that. Doesn't that make you insane, too?"

[softmeetscreatureplz]

Honestly I need to come up with. Better imagined action for when I'm upset/annoyed/ etc