#smoking while pregnant

[hazbmymhotel]

Hewwo 🦆

Hmmm, I know that would probably be TOO MUCH to ask but, huh, you might consider it if I ask for a Gregnant Mordecai? But like, him being a DISASTER about it? Lol

I'm sorry 🙏😔, As always, feel free to ignore me!

He’s going through it

[the-brainrot-central]

Hey sorry, been losing my mind. Have been stewing on it for a while and I figured fuck it, never gonna finish Atom Heart Father anyway so might as well drop some of my shitty headcanons here for people to enjoy in lieu of my lack of updates.

Anyways here:

ATOM HEART FATHER THOUGHTS

TW: this is mpreg, I repeat MPREG with KIRAS DAD. Don’t like, don’t read fam 👈👈👈😎😎😎👈👈👈

God where do I even START I have SO MANY THOUGHTS

Okay uhhh first of all this guy is just going through it with the nausea—I’m talking all day, every day for weeks straight at a time. Hyperemesis gravidarum is literal hell for him. He has to be hospitalized for a week because it gets so bad—he just can’t keep anything down anymore, not even water or simple foods. Finally they prescribe him some stronger shit and he’s mostly back to normal, and can actually function normally for the most part—the nausea comes and goes but it doesn’t interfere with his life like it did before

He’s SOFT. Just soft yknow???

He’s an autistic little nerd so of course he goes to the library and finds every pregnancy book, study, guide etc that he can get his hands on and he reads them ALL. In spite of his initial reservations and discomfort with the whole situation, pregnancy is pretty fascinating to him, and he likes feeling prepared and understanding what’s happening to his body and why—it gives him a better sense of control

Speak of autism, the Beatles are also one of his special interests. There’s this quirky little record shop in town that he starts going to (they sell all kinds of underground and overseas music that’s hard to get just anywhere—it’s a little pricy but worth it) and the guy there tells him to listen to the Beatles—“good shit man; changed my life. You won’t regret it.” The guy recommends him A Hard Day’s Night and he’s been a hardcore fan ever since.

He uses pregnancy as an excuse to indulge in his more feminine nature—he’ll buy flowers on the way home for example, saying they’re for his wife, but they’re really just for himself (she hates flowers, he throws them out before he gets home). Sometimes he’ll wear just a dash of his wife’s perfume or use some of her shampoo because it smells nice—though she’d murder him if she found out lmao

When his nausea gets better he has an incurable sweet tooth—he’ll go to the bakery on his way home and buy himself something almost every day (his wife, once again, would absolutely kill him if she found out)

In his third trimester, he starts stretching every night to help alleviate some of his aches, and he read somewhere that drinking milk is good for the baby so he does that too—hence where Kira gets his twenty minute stretches and warm milk routine (big brain)

Smoking while pregnant was still common in the sixties (look up JFK’s mom smoking while pregnant, it’s real), so I think he’d have a smoke every once and a while, to take the edge off when he’s stressed—he’s done it on and off for years, usually stops because it hurts his lungs and makes him cough.

[dizzydoyer]

And only Howdy was affected.

[mychlapci]

Smoking and drinking when pregnant is great because the baby is small and undeveloped enough to just slide out. Then you can stuff it vack in to birth it or until it's fully developed.

well exactly, if you can’t be bothered to deal with a difficult birth just make sure the baby stays small enough to just pop out. smoking while pregnant is good for you! plus, cybertronian babies can go back into the oven for a while if needed, no harm done.

[arctic-hands]

I've never smoked a day in my life but sometimes I swear my hair still reeks of tobacco from my mom smoking around me constantly

[cheapcheapfaker]

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

is spy smoking cigs during pregnancy the reason why scout is...like that

Yes

[earthspin]

mommy, mommy?

[258punkweight]

skyler white was hot af for smoking while pregnant #tbh

[stupid-squabbler]

I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS

[dizzydoyer]

Many years ago

And whoops. The cake is only a little stale, I blame Eddie for a late delivery.

[mychlapci]

Curious, why do you think smoking or drinking while pregnant is hot? It’s for sure not healthy and will fuck up the baby & probably give them health problems :/

dude the baby looooves it don't worry

[arctic-hands]

Wonder what a functioning digestive system would have been like

[ask-woods]

of course you're uneducated you loser 💔

At least I ain’t drowning in student debt. Plus, we both know I wasn’t getting far in the “educated world”. Not with my pops around, at least.

[rosiereveries]

John who fucks you raw for the first time.

You've been dating for a year now, and you always tried to be safe. But now, he came home earlier from a mission, and you didn't have the time to buy the condoms.

But how you can say no to him, when he begs you to let him fuck you. He says how much he missed you and your pussy. So, you agree that you will give him a pussy job and he can push the tip inside.

John thinks that he never felt anything better than your pussy raw on his dick. Everything feels so intense, and he can't control himself. With few hard thrusts he is completely inside you and he can't hear your whimpers when you remind him that he is only allowed just the tip.

Now he has you under him and he promises that he will pull out, but he slowly starts to realize that it won't be possible. He thinks about you full with his child, with your breast getting bigger and his load spilling out of your pussy. How lovely would you look with his fat baby on your hip while being pregnant with another one.

He never thought he had a breeding kink but once he tried your pussy without a condom everything changes.

He pins you down to the mattress pushing his dick deep inside your pussy and when he feels you reaching your orgasm and squeezing his cock he spills his seed inside of you. With few more thrust he fucks the cum deeper inside of you.

And when you moan his name so overwhelmed and sensitive, he knows that he needs to make sure that it sticks. It doesn't take long and he is spilling another load into you.

And than another one in the shower while he has you pressed against the glass. And another one on the couch when he makes you ride him, while he smokes his favorite kind of cigars.

When the next day you come home with a pack of condoms, he quickly hides them away from you when you're not looking. He needs to make sure that soon enough you will be fat with his baby.

Masterlist You can support my work here : ko-fi

[finsterhund]

surreal to have my sternum traced down with a fucking sharpie brand permanent marker and the surgeon says "the left side (of my body) is underdeveloped" (lads, he meant ALL of it) whole shit felt like my eternal anguish in the quest to make another Sly. (I used to use sharpie before I got one of them fabric pens that erases when ironed)

maybe could have benefited from this knowledge prior to the age of 4.

I keep expecting there to be fucking safety pins in the stitches because I'm so Sly brained.

Also they said I would be tired. Lads, I am not tired. Maybe that my ADHD powers.

I am fucking hungry though. My throat hurts like shit because I was intubated but I'm still fucking hungry. Figures.