#smh sharing your man with other men

[scandals-r-us]

migs, crawling in with like 30 broken bones by his eyelashes: hey babe sorry im la- xina: Oh so you make time for other men to smash your ass into the ground but you don't make time to smash MY ass in the ground? smh

[muntitled]

Oh my!! I just read your lee know req and god please spare me my knees are weak. Can i request a lee know dilf? I’m sure its perfect!! 💗 btw i love you take lots of rest! Mwah!

𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞

Pairing: Lee Minho x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dating a single dad who coincidentally happens to be your next-door neighbor does not come without its fair share of hardships (and fun)

Warnings: Language, Humor, Domestic Fluff, Single Dad AU, Secret Relationship, Smut +18 (Minors DNI), implied age gap, Brat!TamerMinho, Bratty!Reader, Oral, Dacryphilia, Needy!Minho, Slight DDLG, Dom/Sub undertones

Seriously so domestic, you have been warned <3

Dating had always been difficult, and up until very recently, you had been perfectly content as an unwilling participant of crush culture. Seldom men have grappled your attention, and the ones that do are often doomed to give you the ick. Every man was either too loud and obnoxious or too nonchalant and non-empathetic. You had given up on dating altogether until fate sunk its talons into your love life.

What're you wearing?

The message came at the dead of night while you lay supine on your couch. Minho rarely sent text messages, preferring to call or email like the archaic man he was. It sent you crazy with admiration.

Wouldn't you like to know?

You grinned as you sent the message back, chewing anxiously at the ends of your sleeves like you were a child awaiting their scolding.

Yes I would. That's why I asked.

Almost immediately, you could tell Minho was needy. He was naturally very blatant and authoritarian, but he became even more so when he found himself slipping into arousal. You could picture him through the screen, and the mental image had your stomach warming with delight: his hair shaggy from his hands running through it all day. His dress shirt, unbuttoned. And perhaps maybe he was reclined backwards on his big leather couch. Nursing is phone in one hand a whiskey tumbler in the other.

What are you wearing.

Comes Minho's message a second time. This time, the tone felt far more demanding despite being the exact same words. You immediately knew that if you would not comply quickly, you might be in for a punishment. Oh how you adored punishments.

Wrong punctuation. It's 'what are you wearing?' No full stop. And you have an adult job? Smh...

You're so undeniably tense that you fear your jaw might crack from the pressure that it's clenched and you hold your phone close to your screen. For 60 agonizing seconds there is not response and you can definitely picture the look on Minho's face with his tongue poking tje inside of his cheek while he shook his head and murmered a quiet and appalled "진싸" to himself.

Come over. His next text reads. The kid's asleep. Come over.

You dreaded taking the very short walk to your next door neighbor and boyfriend's apartment and yet, the opportunity to piss Minho off even more is just too difficult to pass up. A slow smile grace's over your face as you send back an 'aye aye captain' before slipping on your slippers to make the short journey to his apartment.

Before your fist even hits the surface of the wood, the front door is ripped open and Minho's pulling you inside. "You've been holding out on me?" He grumbles, before forcing kisses down the side of your neck. "Why?"

In a flurry of trying to kick your shoes off at the front door as Minho leads you both to the couch. You try to control Minho's frantic groping at your sides and try to ignore his bulge pressing against your thigh. When pulling you onto his lap, you're not quite sure what to make of your thoughts and emotions.

All you feel is a sharp pinch on the skin underneath your woolen sweater and you yelp, "What the hell-"

"Answer me?" He says, glaring at up you with an aura of seriousness. Your legs ached as you straddled Minho's lap, and conversation seems impossible. "I wanna know why you suddenly think it's okay to start being a fucking bra-

"You brought it!? I can't believe you actually brought it-"

A small, excited gasp cuts through what was to be the most embarrassing scolding of your life.

Like the breaking of an ancient spell; you and Minho push back from each other on the couch, you detangle your limbs and you keep a distance. You're almost grateful for the little boy padding into the living room, tiredly rubbing his eyes.

Minho watches his son run towards you on the couch with furrowed eyebrows. Nothing but confusion swims across his darkened irises, and you shrug slightly before uncovering the thing that has apparently been in your hands this whole time. Minho had been so clouded by his own lust that he barely saw the children's book you had clasped in your hands. He watches how you and his son exchange pleasantries like long-lost friends. The both of you practically beaming.

He is only able to intervene on your very important conversation when he notices you handing his son the book.

"Woah- hey, what's going on?" Minho's hand instinctively goes to the back of his son's head as he looks down at you curiously, "What's this?" Minho asks.

"The reason I'm here," you make awkward little jazz hands which Minho's son finds very amusing before you clear your throat. You give Minho an inconspicuous wink.

"Your son... he-"

"I just can't stand how you read bedtime stories to me, Dad."

Minho swings his head downards, his eyes wide.

"You said you liked how I read-"

"No, Dad," theres a roll of his 4 year old eyes and you smile, "You like how you read. Its not very fun for me-"

And that's how you spent a majority of the evening reading a bedtime story for a sleepy little boy until he finally slipped away. You didn't mind it. The story was buying you some time from what you knew was a very aggravated Minho, and all you could do was chuckle to yourself as you read.

This was all so incredibly short-lived because the kid eventually did fall asleep, and you could feel your insides twist as you closed his bedroom door, making your way back to the living room. Every step you took felt like you were skinking deeper and deeper into the earth, and you swallowed very thickly when you rounded the corner to find Minho staring idly at the wall. He was slouched slightly on the couch with his shirt unbuttoned even further.

As you rounded the couch, you spied an empty whiskey tumbler on the coffee table. You shiver.

"Had fun, then?" Minhos hisses almost petulantly.

You roll your eyes as you lower yourself onto the couch beside him.

"If only you weren't such an incompetent bedtime reader then I wouldn't-"

But his hand was already squeezing at the base if yojr throat and you gasp, raising and lowering your body as your lips parted in what was very clearly excitement.

"You and this fucking mouth-"

"A-Are you going to punish me?" Minho regards you for a split second underneath the shadow of his lashes before he breaks out into a chuckle. You tilt your head in confusion, which is only tripled when his hand goes from your throat to the top of your head. "Good girls aren't supposed to like their punishments, are they?"

He knew what diction to use to have you slipping into subspace, and all you're able to do is nod as you shift closer to him. You lick your lips, so completely rattled with tension of all the endless possibilities. Would he spank you? No, perhaps that would cause far too much noise... would he edge you-

"Only slutsnlook forward to their punishments, you know that?" Your nipples tighten against the fabric of your sweater and you nearly moan again. Minho's hand on your head is so heavy, so unmistakably manly it has you spiraling.

"And punishments are no fun if you enjoy them." The hand on your head gets heavier and heavier.

"Minho-"

"Knees." It's all he says before you're toppling to the ground at his feet. Your heart is pounding out of the confines of your very chest, and you lick your lips suddenly feeling so incredibly dehydrated as Minho drags you to his knees. He sits back, letting his head rest on the back of the couch as he says, "You know what to do, don't you?"

The weight of your punishment suddenly hits you tenfold as you bring your shaky hands to undo Minho's belt. It wasn't a 'punishment' at all. Not in the way you wanted.

Instead, Minho was quite content letting you pull out his cock and service him. Making you wait as long as he was forced to.

Minho's jaw clenches when you pull his cock out of his briefs and the sound has your bottom lip trembling.

"P-Please, Minho,"

"Shut up," he mumbles into the air with his head still thrown back and his eyes squeezed shut.

Consequently, you nod into the open air as you spit into your hand and begin to pump his hard length with every bit of precision. You can feel your clit beg for some kind of friction to the point that your need becomes painful.

"You're too slow," he whispers, clenching his eyes shut in frustration, "Too fucking slow." You speed up the pace, watching his lips fall open and feeling utterly intoxicated by all the pretty sounds Minho makes for him all from the both of your hands wrapped around his cock.

"F-Fuck-" You twist your wrist, suddenly spurred on by his reaction.

"I don’t want your hands," Minho huffs, "I want your mouth" and you bend your head dutifully before closing your warm mouth around the head of his cock. Minho's head immediately snaps up from the couch, and he is completely and utterly wrecked. He digs his fingers into your hair, forcing you down onto his cock, "Make a mess. You know I like it when you make a mess, Dove," You're practically whining around his cock and he hisses.

Trails of spit and precum drip out of your mouth along with nasty tears that run down your face, reddening your eyes. Minho's cock twitches in your mouth at the very sight of you. "Look at you," he whispers, "Fucking look at what a mess you are for me," You're nodding frantically, his large cock hitting the back of your throat now-

"I'm gonna fucking cum in that pretty mouth of yours and yojre gonna take it, aren't you, baby?" He frantically moves your braids out of face, all the more the see your completely fucked out expression despite not even receiving any stimulation. It has him lifting his hips to rut into your mouth and just as you choke, Minho's voice cracks, "Shut a good girl," he praises as he looses control, "Shut as good fucking- FUCK-" His cum fills the back of your throat at an alarming rage and yourenforced to clench your toes and swallow, there was no other option. He pats down your head lovingly as his hips snap up against you and you whimperbsnd moan around his cock, only prolonging his orgasm

"God, you're so good to me, baby," he whispers, coming down from his high but not without any aftershocks, "You're so fucking good to me,"

<3

© to @mphountitled on tumblr; do not repost

[z3rinn]

# #. COTS AND CUDDLES !!

featuring : linked universe ! It seems that a mix up has occurred when renting rooms in the nearby inn, leaving the group with nine rooms instead of 10 !! but what's this ? the links offer to share a room with you ? what an interesting turn of events.. hmm, but just who do you pick? a zelda version of my twst post !!

this is my introduction to the lu fanbase !! luv yall and I hope you enjoy !

# #. TIME

Time offers you his bed with a gentle smile on his face, hands on your shoulders as he carefully guides you to the bed. His voice is soft, promising that you'd be in good hands while laying with him.

He laid beside you, his back to your front, as to not make you uncomfortable. Its silent and still for a few moments, before shifting closer to him. You can't help but press your chest up against his warm back, throwing your arms around him as you giggled. Time stilled, feeling your face press up against his built back. He chuckled as you fell asleep, a soft smile forming on his flushed face.

He doesn't shift much as the night goes on. Besides cuddling further into you, he sometimes turns on his back, laying your head on his chest. Time's arms wrap around your body, as the two of you snore the first of many nights away.

# #. TWILIGHT

Twilight takes your hand in his as he brings you to the room. Sweat dripped down your face as you looked back a the other boys- Twilight didn't even ask! He just straight up dragged you. But honestly? Could you really complain? It was Twilight for gods sake. It was a dream come true to just be besides him.

You lay on your side, facing away from Twilight as you try to rest. You can't help but notice how his eyes seem to be piercing thru you. He shifts onto the bed, your back to his chest. You could feel his breath against your neck as he shuffled closer into you. Oh my god. This man was going to kill you with his stare- jasajkqdkauiksuef. Twilight chuckled softly to himself, noticing you squirm uncomfortably. Before you knew it, however, Twilights hand wrapped around your waist.

You couldn't sleep much that night. Maybe it was because you didn't want to bother Twilight by moving in your sleep. Or maybe it was because you were too flushed to do so. Between his soft breaths against your bare neck, accompanied by the way he slightly rubbed your waist as you slept. You were never going to be able to sleep at this rate. Either way, Twilight had an amazing night.

# #. WILD

Like Twilight and Time, Wild offers his bed with no hesitation, that smile on his face growing even more so once you agree. He grabs you by the waist, carrying you bridal style all tye way to the bed. You couldn't help but the thoughts that ran over you due to his eagerness.

Wild falls asleep as soon as he hits the bed, meaning he's all over you as soon as he falls asleep. His legs are thrown over yours, arms wrapped around your waist in a tight grip. He often moves around in his sleep, and drags your body wherever he moves. No matter what you try he just won't let loose, it's honestly better to just let him hold on and move around until he wakes up. He's a great cuddle buddy tho!

Sometimes, late at night, you may catch him cuddling into your chest, listening to your heartbeat as he sleeps, his arms are wrapped tightly around you, as a small smile grace's his lips. It might even grow if you pet his head as you rest side by side.

# #. SKY

Sky is the kind of person most people would want to sleep by. He has a calming personality and a gentle aura that just draws you towards him. So how could you ever say no to his proposal?

He lays face to face beside you. His beautiful blue eyes gazing deeply into yous. Seriously what was with these men trying to swoon you at every turn smh. Although Sky seems like he's trying to start something with his alluring gaze, he sticks to himself. His hands and legs stay on his side of the bed, although, while the two of you lay under the soft blanket you may feel him brush up against you.

Deep into the night, however, Sky lets his body relax against yours, hands and legs intertwining with your own. He held your hands in his own, his body pressing up against yours. His head pressed against your own, as light snores left his lips. You cant help but smile at him. Sky loves sleep. But he loves it more when it's with you.

# #. WARRIORS

Warriors gives you a flirtatious smirk as he asks the question- but deep down you know he's squealing like a little girl finally getting to talk to her crush for the first time. It was funny watching him act all Macho as he laid on the bed, raising his eyebrows as he beckoned you over. This guy is a total nerd istg.

Honestly just to spite him it'd be kind of funny to just sleep on the floor- but then you remember that he's actually a pretty boy so can you really say no? No. You can't. At first you may think he'll be all up on you as you lay together- but in reality he just sticks to his side of the bed, out of your space. Little words are spoke between the two of you, just a quick goodnight with a gaze that leaves your heart melting, before he's off to sleep.

It doesn't take that long for either of you to fall asleep. But soon Warriors arms come to wrap around you. He’s holding you close to his body as he succumbs to sleep. Too close in fact. It’s as if he’s hugging you to death with how tight his grip is. However, you cant help but snuggle into him. It's not uncomfortable being in his arms, in fact, it may just be one of the best hugs you had ever experienced.

# #. LEGEND

Legend probably didn't invited you to sleep beside him. No, it was probably your fault that the two of you were stuck together. Instead of him inviting you, you invited himself into his bed. Honestly, its kind of funny.

He's probably scooted all the way towards the edge of the bed, facing away from you, and frowning in annoyance. The two of you definitely sleep back to back, no questions asked. Mainly because if he caught a look at your sleeping face he'd get all embarrassed for sure. There's is no contact or words spoken between the two of you, just utter and complete silence as he tries to sleep.

But deep into the night he shuffles closer to you, burying his head in your chest for warmth and comfort. His arms wrap loosely around your hips as his legs press against yours. It's very tempting to take a picture but you decide against it, keeping his head there for the rest of the night. When he awakes he's in a for a major surprise!!

# #. HYRULE

Hyrule is immediately nervous when he poses the question. Would you say no? Ugh that'd be so embarrassing for him if you did- would you even ever talk to him again? All these doubts consume his mind- rushing in on a never ending loop- until you agree with a smile on your face. That's still doesn't stop how nervous he is while laying besides you though.

Its awkward for a bit as you and Hyrule lay on your backs, staring up at the ceiling as you talked the night away. He relaxes as time goes on. His hands are laid across his chest, a smile on his face as he speaks. You converse about his adventures, world, and vise versa. He spoke to you so kindly and gently. That you couldn't help but giggle alongside him.

You talk deep into the night, but suddenly the waves of tiredness consume you both. Accompanied by the cold air and the long and excruciating day you just went thru, you almost fell asleep immediately. You and Hyrule cuddle close for comfort. It's hard being in a different world- away from all your friends and family. But being besides him made it just a bit better.

# #. FOUR

Four is a bit embarrassed to be sharing a room with you, yet he gravbs your hand, intertwining your fingers as he leads you to the room. He tells you he can shift into his minish as you guys sleep. Giving the both of you more room and space in the bed. Yet you disagree, mainly because don't want to crush him obviously-

So instead you just cuddle him close to your chest, holding him against you as you 'immediately' fall asleep. You can feel him tense and squirm around in your hold- yet he doesnt dare do anything. Four can't move- that would disrupt your sleep! His mind is running, his face flushing a deep red, ad he feels you hold him tighter. How the hell was he going to get out of this?!

He settles down in your embrace, slowly succumbing to sleep after his mini heart attack. He moves up your chest slightly, resting his head just below your neck. His legs intertwine with your own as his hands wrap around you in a tight hug. You can feel his soft, yet hot breathing against your neck, making you smile against his forehead.

..

Honestly just make a giant dog pile with all of them and sleep together. That'll be fun!

I love all these Links <3

[harlowsbby]

Back Outside

Liked by sza, urbanwyatt, lilnasx, chloebailey, jaydawayda, latto and 2,557,000 others.

yourinstagram we back outside this summer or what? 🤪

latto newly single this summer? 👀

yourinstagram @latto I don’t kiss and tell 🤫

lilnasx the caption though? what’s tea?

druski2funny say it ain’t so?

urbanwyatt jack said unblock him 👨🏼‍🦯

tmz @urbanwyatt oh? what’s tea?!?

yourinstagram @tmz the tea is jack harlow is a cheater.

Liked by lilnasx, druski2funny, urbanwyatt and 1,658,000 others.

tmz rumors have been swirling that @jackharlow has cheated on @yourinstagram with his costar laura! we weren’t able to confirm these rumors at first… at least until today! looks like a “friend” that was in Jack’s and Laura’s close friends leaked these! We’re assuming Jack didn’t have his now ex girlfriend @yourinstagram added to this list!

Seems like he was keeping these on the low! And based off these captions via the photos while Y/N was sleepin Jack was creepin

lilnasx damnnnnnnnn I wonder who leaked the close friends?! 🤪

druski2funny @lilnasx man you’re fake as FUCK how you gonna do that to Jack?

lilnasx @druski2funny I’m just as fake as that fake ass chain you wear around your neck

druski2funny @lilnasx yeah ima head out 👨🏾‍🦯

urbanwyatt how much could I get if I leaked a video of the two of them making out?

neelam @urbanwyatt URBAN LOG OFF

sza this is why I don’t claim pisces’s men

Liked by urbanwyatt, druski2funny, lilbaby, nemo, champagnepapi and 1,887,245 others.

jackharlow focused on me.

lilnasx how come as soon as a man gets caught cheating he’s suddenly focusing on himself 😂

sza @lilnasx CLOCK THAT TEA

druski2funny stay strong player 🙏🏽

jaydawayda this is so pisces coded I can’ttttt 😂

lilbaby I’d just go ahead and delete this if I was you man

champagnepapi words of advice jack just leak your nudes like I did and they’ll forget all about this shit

urbanwyatt y’all he spent all day crying believe it or not #don’t #believe what you see in photos

lilnasx @urbanwyatt I am ROLLINNNNN

Liked by lilnasx, sza, chloebailey, jaydawayda, druski2funny and 3,999,000 others.

yourinstagram anyways here’s a fun little video to distract y’all from all this mess….

druski2funny a whole thing of toothbrushes why the hell do you need that?

yourinstagram @druski2funny I leave one at every man’s house ima be with this summer 😌

druski2funny @yourinstagram oh 🧍🏽‍♂️

urbanwyatt you so greedy why do you have plastic forks and knives 😂😭😂

lilnasx I’m surprised you ain’t pull out no burger

sza 😂😂😂

jackharlow that lollipop looks good do you wanna share?

yourinstagram @jackharlow boy.

Liked by tmz, urbanwyatt, lilnasx, ellamai, jaydawayda and 999 others.

theshaderoom well we know one rapper that won’t be boo’d up for Valentine’s Day and that’s @jackharlow! looks like he must’ve seen @yourinstagram recent instagram post!! Look like she’s boo’d up with rapper @quavo are we here for this relationship roomies?!

lilnasx oooo she got herself a chocolate man I love this for my good sis

druski2funny I love this for her but I hate the face that she ain’t with me smh

lilnasx @druski2funny you know what lemme not go in on you 💀

sza love this for her!

urbanwyatt ooo jack is screaming and kicking and sliding now the walk rn

neelam @urbanwyatt URBAN BE QUIET

(Hope you guys like this I had no idea what I was doing 😭)

[happypotato48]

Wandee Goodday EP 2 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

"Previously on Wandee Goodday Z. Doctor Wandee set his eyes on Mr. perfect Doctor Ter, but before the battle even starts our hero Dee got hit with the "I only like women." now after humiliated defeat, Dee rise up to meet his new challenger Yor-yak Phadetseuk. can our hero finally get to taste delicious victory or it he going to forever be consign to life of vanillaness. find out in this episode of Wandee Goodday Z!"

To zab or not to zab? an age old question, asks to themself by every repressed Homos that ever live.

Bitch! you just got offered free dick. and this hunk of a dick nonetheless. get off your high horse and go ride this bull of a man instead!

So you people probably figured this out by now. but yes Fluke is a really poppular thai boy name for millennials and gen z. i literally knew like 10+ different Flukes form just my school days alone.

Cher can you share your man with me. pretty please 🥺

Fuck you! how dare you wink your god dang eyebrow like that! เห็นใจคนไม่มีผัวหน่อยสิครับ.

Eyebrows!

Men, can't kill them, can't live without them.

Ok wtf, how is this dumb horny show give me the feels right now. Ohhhh those eyes, god damn those eyes. it's like staring into a hazy morning field touched by a gentle first daylight. i wish i could get lost in them forever..... anyway Hot man me likey!

I don't go there but Yak fursuit game is weak. forking amature smh.

Tank tops! hubba hubba. thank you show for putting all the men in tank tops. i will forever be in your debt.

No thank you. i really don't like this trope of a character getting saves from sa that so prevalent in BL and romance genre in general.

This man is a husband material, Dee. you better not break this poor man's heart. or i swear to all the lords of hell, i will bring down calamity on your ass.

Oh hello stereotypical gossipy gay. your kind was one of the first queer representations we got on thai tv. you walked so these BL boys could run, thank you for your service.

He's so beautiful. i love him and his magnificent eyebrows so much.

Cool grandma! i love her style so much. also loved that she asked Dee how the hell he still can't find a man. freaking savage.

จะเอาหัวเอาหางหรือจะเอากลางตลอดตัว ก็ได้จ่ะ.

"Moan harder" and "play with that longer" i'm fucking dead. this is so hot! ahhhh yessss i love this so much. this is how you do sexy. other BLs take some fucking notes!

This is so fucking tender. my heart is melted.

Oh my, this Ep whewwww. the tenderness expressed by Yak is something that i didn't know i needed, but i'm 100% loving every goddamn second of it. Great is such a great actor (pun intended.) and this version of Yak is already better than his book counterpart.

[akutasoda]

HELLO HELLO 🐊 ANON. IS BACK HERE WITH ANOTHER WEIRD AHH REQUEST OR IDEA WHATEVER :333, soo may i pls pls request bsd men with a fem reader who is literally Krul Tepes from Owari No Seraph :D? Like she is an all mighty vampire queen idk i just saw her wiki but i dont know how to describe her personality 😭😭 i saw the anime a long time ago and i dont remember anything smh😢😢😢 but anyways thats all, could it be crack and fluff? :P the characters would be Fukuzawa (can u tell im a bif fan of this ancient man:3) Bram, Dazai and Mori (ofc if you write for him)

So heres the idea, fem reader like i said is a vampire too like Bram, she is a member of DoA but she didnt joined to 'end wars' she joined to end with humanity, like her wiki said 🤓🤓 she sees humans as mere cattle. But her wiki didnt said anything about her personality 😭😭 so i guess shes bratty and laizy bc she looks like it lol i love her sm.

Anyways thats all i have to say, if u dont want to make the request is fine i have other few ideas too lol, take care of yourself and drink water, thats all ty for reading me <3 also i saw u have a lot to write from other requests, no matter how late you make this one, take your time, the least i want you to be is stressed, byeee 🐊🐊

vampire among livestock

synopsis - how are they with someone like krul tepes

includes - dazai, fukuzawa, mori, bram

warnings - fem!reader, fluff, slight crack, wc - 755

a/n: hello hello anon!!!! i haven't actually watched or read ONS in ages either but we do love fukuzawa here.. take care of yourself aswell <3

osamu dazai ★↷

↪rather amused by the fact that the doa was harbouring two vampires among their ranks. and in honesty, he figured that you were probably just as concerning as bram and you both needed to be kept an eye on.

↪extremely intrigued when he heard that one of them, you, held the title of a 'queen'. he didn't understand why but it was interesting nonetheless and was curious as to how one obtained such a title.

↪mainly you for the fact that you're goals simply didn't stop at 'ending wars', you had a much wider goal of 'ending humanity' as a whole - seeing them as only mere livestock. this reminded him of fyodor a tad but atleast he only went after ability users.

↪your natural pride and temperamental nature definitely gave you an advantage at reaching your goal. dazai also sought a great amount of amusement from hearing your confident talks even when in battle.

↪what was also rayher noticeable was how you took a more natural role of leader even when you really weren't meant to - whether or not the other members would assist your goals or not was still unclear.

yukichi fukuzawa ★↷

↪the doa was already a loooming threat as is, he didn't need to learn that they had gained another member who also possessed vampire traits. it certainly was a concerning factor for the ada.

↪your rather excitable and outgoing personality definitely reminded him of a certain great detective, your slight bratiness didn't get really help either. that same sense of pride was definitely prominent aswell.

↪it was certainly interesting that you didn't share the same goals as your colleagues, not like you had to but it was certainly intriguing. although your goal was certainly more alarming and serious than just 'ending wars'

↪to him, your views on humans were certainly interesting... to say the least. he'd never ever seen someone that viewed humanity in such a derogatory way yet be so insistent on their beliefs.

mori ougai ★↷

↪for the most part, he stayed out of the doa affairs personally - only really sensing his own people to get involved. but he couldn't help bit become intrigued when news of two vampire like people being involved.

↪especially when he learnt that one of them allegedly held a title of 'queen', of what he didn't exactly know but it surely wasn't an everyday title. the same one who also apparently never held back in putting people in their place.

↪your goals, per say, were also extremely intriguing. seeing humans as mere livestock that would do anything for personal gain. he could see where you were coming from.

↪the natural sense of leadership that you carried certainly was challenging to overcome, especially paired with the pride that you carried yourself with. ypu certainly could become an issue, especially when you're desire to achieve your goals clearly wouldn't be stopped so easy.

bram stoker ★↷

↪when he first heard of the new member and then found out they were a fellow vampire like him, he was both relieved and slightly intrigued.

↪relieved, as he felt like you could be the only tolerable member of the doa. he didn't exactly want to be there and the people he was forced to work with weren't exactly the best. so he figured someone like you would be his only hope at getting along with.

↪intrigued, as he'd never met another vampire before - sure there were the one's under the influence of his ability but they were practically brain dead. you would be thw first vampire he met that he could actually talk to, even more intrigued by your title of 'queen'.

↪surprisingly enjoyed listening to you ramble on about how humanity were mere livestock - it was either that, complete silence or listening to fukuchi. bram could see where you were coming from and he could definitely help you if he chose to.

↪im honesty, he thought you were a better leader than fukuchi. you always took on a more authoritive role and he preferred when you did so, even more when you'd shut down fukuchi.

↪your temperamental nature could be a bit much for him sometimes but he adjusted to it when you started talking to him more often.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @vi-chan07

[drthugitout]

My ver of dream :00000 AND RANTS ABT MY AU

I ws going for a more princesssy vibe if ykyk if ya like dream do u wanna have more hc on my au in stuff

So a lil rant, but this ver of dram takes place ofc after the whole being trapped n stone thing passses but more in the mist of trying to save his brother, not knowing that he’s already dead ((couldn’t be me type shi.))

He’s way more trusting and open arms meaning he could eager hurt easily, even if your mean he just assume he need to try harder to make you happy or to trust him n vice versa.

He’s also just not good with helping ppl who don’t want to be helped which his can never understand especially with people like killer or early on cross and even sometimes ink.

He can’t read. I mean he can read but not to the best.

Dawg hates getting treaeated like a child, he’s not a child he’s an adult man, yes trapped in stone for a long time sucks and he dose have some problems with not getting a lot of adult topic but prefers for them to get explained and not gatekeeped, with that in some ways even core could be considered more mature then him ((not like they aren’t though))

He gets wat to excited for missions but it’s not jus him so do ink and swap that dose change though

He’s not above overworking himself for the greater good no matter what it is.

He’s scared of going blind, random but it makes sine seeing as he was practically Lind for 500 years trapped in some weird purgatory.

Yes he try’s to make every one happy but if there’s really nothing he can do he won’t keep trying to make you better n be near your negative ahh.

Sometimes British.

His magic is sometimes hard to control as ink describes it he’s ’rusty’ training with him and swap so they all can up there strategy’s

Continuing the theme of the last hc of this au, he hates fighting especially and of corse against nightmare, from his eys he got stuck in a endless loop of nothingness for years only to wake up the the sweet kinda kid he knew as his brother know the most well known asshole across the world, along with getting teased and pushed during battle against nightmare for nights own sadistic personal gain, AND HE JUS LETS IT SLIDE BCZ HE WANTS HE BROTHER BSCK it actually hands to be stud dyed how overlooked that is.

He can fly, to some existent. Nobody is truly sure how?! But he can.

Trap rap scares him like that aggressive stuff ((I also don’t like it I LIKE MY RAP CATCHY N MUISCAL NIT HEADACHE RACING)) He also don like hardcore rock

The king along with his right hand men. ((Ink and swap)) along with core

His main friends are just the main sanses besides the bad guys.

Loves cosplayer n dress up

But HATEDSSSSSS holloween

To scared to accept his friends as family dispute how close they act the fact they sometimes live together feed each other and share clothes, I luv them<33

Hes open to showing affection in almost every way so yes he dose so time give ppl kisses on the cheeks and hugs and say how much he loves them bcz ipit brightens there day.

Gets annoying headaches from nightmares voice mainly when he yells, it just brings back pain and damn, that sucks. Smh smd

He’s seen as royalty but hates getting treated like that as he feels like he shouldn’t be looked highly in for what he dose ((mainly because he feels like he should be able to do more, and hates that he can’t help everyone mainly because of his childhood))

lowkey fuck them villagers.

Cusses n it catches ppl of guard but for him it’s not shown as bad at all

Says some things that would get him canceled but doesn’t know that so he has to get explained that

One when angered he best nms ahh n once night left came to the realization of what he did n cried, ink swap and pretty much everyone were so proud though.

Everyone is his best friend

513 ((A GROWN MAN))

Actually scared of octopus/ squid’s ect. Like when he would cry cuz nightmare scares the fuck out of him. ((He actually got over his fear a bit with freshs parasite

Sleeps in dirt, a weird calming thing for him especially since he like to sleep in the sun. I dunno his ass weird but yeah needs sunlight like a plant.

Swap carries him around somtimes I dunnod I jus though that was sweet

Also wears anything, this goes for slot of the skellys n my aus but he would wear the most gorgeous ball room dress ever n never bat an eye.

A rly good singer. Who can play the piano kinda sometimes.

Hates wearing headphones or annoying boarding noises.

For some reason he dependent on helping cross mainly him because of how bad he feels but how much he relates to him especially after that one battle with nm around when he gets closer to cross n more open to the fact most ppl suck. He stops being less of a bitch.

Seen as the leader even though swap would make a better one out the three

Along with his sleep he doesn’t have the best eating habits swap of then haveing to help him out and vice versa as they love overworking them selfs

The thought of a muiltverse overwhelmed him. A lot. ((Cuz ur saying I gotta make allll these ppl happy? Damn.))

WEAKER BECAUSE THERE ARE WAY MORE NEGATIVE AUS THEN THERE SRE POSTIVE PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT NIGHT HAS A HARSH ADVANTGE

his smiles contagious.

Ngl the drawing kinda gives “I will fight n the name of Rose Quarts n every thing that she believed in.” Very Steven universe coded though.

Can’t flirt or take a romantic hint

Pretty gender neutral

He pokey prob likes gross food btw like nuts, ew.

His highest priority is children as he projects on the highly.

((Note I came up with half up these from the top of my head, I don know hc were so easy, n I don even like dream like that))

That’s most of my hc but yeah there less silly fun ones n most jus to do with his character n my au.

Uhhh he likes frank ocean.

[bucknastysbabe]

God Bless the Inventor - 40’s AU series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,268

Synopsis: Howard comes up with a…new invention for his adventurous pals to try. Bucky’s devious wife has plans. Bucky is questioning his life choices.

Tags: 3k of femdom filth, anal play, fancy vibrators were invented by Howard I know, Subby baby buck, chubby bunny buck, man tears, oral (f!receiving), humiliation kink, weight gain TW if that’s not your thing, men in panties, overstim, SSR GANG, Peggy should’ve been gay and not a dumbass plot choice I loved agent Carter and stand by that, We Stan Dum Dum Dugan, Bucky and him wife are very much in love and supremely horny, praise kink, slight sub space

A/N: I wanted a thicker man in lingerie smh

Howard sat on the other side of his Art Deco living room, newly furnished from what you could tell. Bucky was next to you, a question furrowing his brow. His flesh arm was around your shoulders, the cutie would get touchy around Stark’s flirty demeanor. Regardless if they were best of pals.

You smiled and asked, “So what’s this new invention you want to pitch to us of all people?”

Howard’s dark eyes gleamed with mischief. He grinned and sat forward, extending his hands. The genius elaborated, “Well- it’s a bit of a strange idea, brought to my attention after seeing a housewife in dire need of,” he winked, “companionship.”

Bucky barked, “What the hell Stark? You comin’ onto us or something?”

You shushed him and gestured for Howard to continue his pitch. He laughed airily, pulling out some sort of sleek oblong thing— faintly in the shape of a prick with a ring on the end. Your eyes widened when it dawned, you gasped, “Howard! You made one of those sex toys?” Bucky rolled his eyes with a groan, thoroughly displeased.

Howard wagged his finger, “Nuh-uh-uh! It’s a ‘massager’! Good for working out sore muscles.”

You and Bucky shared a dubious look, then turned back to Stark. He slapped his knee and guffawed, “Yes of course it’s a vibrator! But the magic here is that it’s battery powered and,” he winked, “remote controlled for the partner!”

Bucky snorted, “What about the damn flying car Stark? Been waiting on that one since 42’.”

“It’s still under work!,” the man snapped.

You interrupted, “What then? You want us to try it out for you? Why can’t you do it on one of your two million dames?”

Howard slyly smirked, responding, “If the inventor says it’s good then what proof is that really? Just take it home, lube it up, come back to me so I can sell the patent. Stark Industries wouldn’t look good selling hysteria machines.”

Bucky sucked his teeth. He mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, ‘can’t get a goddamn break with these SSR loons.’ You were already hooked by Howard’s pitch and toy. Poor Buck was going for the ride of his life sooner than later. You held out your hand and hummed, “I’ll bite, be back in a week. Hopefully I can leave you a glowing review, Howard.”

The excitable man jumped up and cheered, “Fantastic! You two will love it!” You grinned and let Howard peck your cheeks to Bucky’s consternation. Calling over your shoulder you joked, “Make sure Peg and her ‘roomie’ get a pair too huh Stark?” All three of you burst in to giggles after that, Bucky leading you out with a big hand on your waist.

Once strapped into the car Bucky had a strange look on his face. You purred, “Scared baby? This thing is preeeetty hefty.” He grumbled and turned the key into the ignition, ignoring your comment. You squeezed the plush layer over his strong thigh and said, “Poor Howie doesn’t know the trap he put you in Bucky-bear.”

“Tell me about it, sweets,” the brunette huffed.

Couple o’ days later

Bucky was sweating through his blazer, even in the chilly temperatures. You could see the perspiration beading on his upper lip, collecting on his temples. The man couldn’t stop shifting, tapping, grinding his teeth. Conversations went around the SSR members and their plus one’s, usually other significant others. Peggy had brought that sweet but brutally New Yorker ‘friend’ of hers, Angie.

Ray and Johnson kept away with nervous looks after the debacle at the last get together. You fondly remembered fucking Bucky into sweet submission that night. There would probably be a rehash soon if your poor husband didn’t cum all in his slacks. Which he probably would anyways, but that was okay.

Bucky was currently shoving his face with food to stop the nonsensical little noises he couldn’t hold back, passing them off as enjoying the meal. You smirked at the thought of the vibrating toy in his ass. Howard and oh goody, Dugan was in town! They ambled over greeting folks. Bucky’s eyes opened wide in fear. You knew that he knew Dugan was going to zero in on his bootcamp to field buddy.

“Barnes!,” Dugan boomed. Bucky dropped his food to sheepishly smile and get up on shaking legs. The mustachioed soldier pulled your husband into a hug, slapping his back heartily. Buck made a choking noise, rasping back a hello. Dum Dum manhandled Bucky backward to get a good look.

He patted Buck’s side and peered over a wide shoulder to joke, “Hello Missus Barnes! A sight for sore eyes! What’cha been feeding Sarge here? Lookin’ like pre-bootcamp dough boy Barnes!”

You could almost feel the mortification radiating off of your other half. Bucky’s face was a deep flush, him turning to look at you pathetically.

Down the vibrator went to zero in your pocketbook. Poor bear.

Dum Dum smiled happily, hugging the brunette again, whispering, “I’m so happy you’re okay man. Blessed, really.” Bucky gave a less strained smile at that, relaxing into the big man’s arms. “Missed ya’ too Dugan, lots.” Howard cooed, “How adorable! Let’s get the whole team together over in Europe.”

“I like New York thank you very much,” Buck deadpanned to a raucous of laughter. You sidled up to your husband, beaming. Dum Dum teased, “As long as she gets to go, gotta have some guts to keep Barnes tied down.”

Your lips quirked up, a hand sliding to palm Bucky’s ass while you purred, “I’ve got some steel under my frilly apron.” Bucky flushed and looked down, lamely replying, “She does, she does.”

The party went on a bit longer, people getting rowdy. You let Bucky get some much needed catching up with Dum Dum. His cheeky smile made your heart skip. Later on, Chief Dooley had to disperse the drunken men and Peg howling war songs. You laughed and clapped along with Angie, sharing a warm look.

Bucky was sweaty and disheveled by the time he was launched out of the circle into your arms. You caught his bulk, laughing and batting at your husband as he peppered you with wet kisses. He laughed, “C’mon you don’t want some lovin baby?” You scrunched your nose and giggled, “I always want your lovin sweetie, let’s get home Hm? Then we can take Stark’s toy for a real test drive.”

Bucky’s pupils blew at the implication, body going woozy in your arms. You eyed his needy expression, pushing back some fallen strands of dark hair. Nipping at his earlobe you hummed, “That was only level one baby, and you couldn’t sit straight.“ Bucky’s breath left him in a punched out groan, slumping into your smaller frame.

You gave his ass a tight slap and hollered, “I got the wheels this time Sarge!”

Making the rounds of goodbyes, Bucky was definitely rushing to get back home. Stark had a knowing gleam in his eye, giving you a wink behind your husbands back. Hugging the genius you thanked him.

Bucky, resigned and so, so horny followed behind like the pet pup he was. You deviously cranked the remote up another level, eyeing Bucky for the inevitable reaction. He yelped, legs spreading, arms flailing. You could hear the crunch of his metal hand on the door. Bear could hardly climb into the little two-door, so wracked with pleasure.

You cooed, “How’sit feel bear?”

Bucky’s cute nose was scrunched up as he whined out, “S’fulll m-my god, s’fuckin me up baby.” He was now rutting back against the car seat, whimpering needily. Bucky moaned, “So good, so good, fffuck!” You pulled the car forward, grinning helplessly. Oh how you loved your submissive little big boy. Bucky mewled and made to palm at his swollen cock, probably painfully smushed in those tight slacks of his.

He was too prideful to admit it, but you’d ordered some more clothes so Bucky would stop looking like he was shoved into his work suit. Stubborn bastard. You slapped his hand away and tutted, “We have to test out Howard’s device correctly dear.” You patted his plump cheek and added softly, “Can’t have your slutty dick get in the way can we now hm?”

Bucky’s tears were getting worked up but he dropped his dark head and whinged, “Yes ma’am.”

“Good boy,” you crooned. Bucky shivered and seemed to relax at the praise. Bear loved his praise and coddling almost as much as he liked the humiliation. You’d get to that later.

Bucky was going mindless, humping and sucking on his bottom lip as he bounced in the seat. To be a bitch you taunted, “Had alot to eat tonight, don’t wanna bust your nice slacks dear.” He thinly whined and blushed, curling in but didn’t stop the movement.

Pulling into the garage Bucky ungainly hopped out and staggered over to you, opening the car door. You simpered, “Sweet boy, thank you, earning a lot of treats tonight.” He blubbered, “Really?” Thumbing his swollen slobbery lips you nodded, pecking them one time.

Bucky led the way, albeit slowly due to the vibrations dragging across his ass and the heavy weight of the plug on top of the prostate. You came from behind, like a jungle predator. From the gloom of the hallway you crooned, “Special drawer’s calling your name, bear!”

Bucky moaned frustratedly. You didn’t like that insolent tone, cranking it up to the highest power. There was a clank of his arm and throaty wail emanating from the darkened bedroom. You sped up to the scene, and my- what a scene you saw. Bucky was on his knees, blazer discarded and his fingers digging into the chest. You knew that was to keep him from touching his cock.

Bucky sniveled, “S’too much, baby baby, ah fuck baby! Can’t stop l-leaking mmmgh!” You moaned softly, clambering behind your shivery husband. Slowly you discarded his clothes, baring that adorable fluffy flesh to your eyes.

“Pretty baby,” you sighed.

You could hear the vibrator assaulting Bucky’s ass, pounding his poor sensitive prostate. Your sarge whimpered and mewled, definitely getting overwhelmed. You shushed him, pressing sweet kisses and praises to relax Buck. Your nimble fingers undid his belt and unbuttoned the pants. You bit your lip bloody at Buck’s fat cock swollen and leaking all over his slacks and panties.

“Oh my, s’it milking you out sweet boy. You feelin’ sweet baby?”

You sucked in a breath, your pussy causing a slippery mess in your panties. You adjusted the sticky fabric with a strained whimper. God your husband was a work of art.

He nodded jerkily, leaning back onto your slim shoulder. Your hand caressed his damp chest and cheeks, pressing a kiss to his temple. In slow terms you asked, “Buck, you got me?” Bucky was approaching fast if not already in that foggy space. He nodded slowly, blue eyes wearily opening.

You flipped his bigger frame around to back against the drawers. Bucky was so pliant it was like moving a rag doll, albeit a heavy one. He mewled upon seeing your face, “W-wan you so bad baby.” His cock spurt out more pre. Instinctively you slid your fingertip across the milky bead and sucked on it, Bucky crying your name.

Undressing the baby was an easy affair. Surveying his flushed skin, you figured a pink set would compliment the blush, pale stretch marks, his lips, and pretty pink nipples. Shaking yourself out of the horny catalogue you moved to open the drawer, snatching around until you found the lacy baby pink set. Bucky sighed and watched with hazy eyes.

You held it up to the befogged Bucky, watching his lax body begin to tremble in excitement. You teased, “Yeah pup, you’ll look like a dream.” One leg went in a hole at a time, Buck weakly lifting up his hips to slide the thin panties on. He cried out at the fabric caressing his full balls.

Next came the garter, Bucky’s least favorite part. You relished in it, watching the softness of his belly tighten and struggle to fit under the unforgiving straps. You snapped the waistband across his belly, Bucky whining and shaking his head. Palming his tummy you questioned, “Did you get get hard when Dugan mentioned you’d packed it on?”

Bucky’s red cheeks grew wet with tears as he sniveled, “N-no! God no, I w-was so embarrassed!” You surveyed his twitchy blues while you slid up the stockings and clipped them to the ill fitting garter. He kept looking down and away as if he was going to escape. You knew what that meant. Liar.

“Uh-huh baby, just say you like being my greedy plump housewife and I think you’d feel better.”

Click click.

The buzzing grew louder.

Bucky’s legs snapped open as he howled in ecstasy, hands pulling and ripping at anything in grasp. He sobbed, “S’not tr-true! M’gonna go train with Johnson.” He shivered and mewled again at the sensation of the vibrator. You cocked your head in amusement, crawling to sit between his thick thighs.

“I know you will baby,” you teased.

You upped the vibrator to the final setting, watching Bucky seize and wail helplessly. Your own pussy tightened more and leaked at the sight of the brunette’s panties growing a darkened stain. Your belly was awash with heat, could you actually cum from watching this? Poor Buck was huffing and squirming, unable to do anything but take it. You nibbled at his chest cooing, “S’that feel good? Color baby?”

“Green mmmm- oh god yes,” he yelled.

You didn’t want to give that unspeakable German bastard any credit but whatever he dosed Buck up with in Azzano did make your husband eager to cum as much as possible. Rolling with the punches, one would say. You cleared the thought by rambling dirty nonsense.

Detaching your mouth from a puffy nipple you cooed, “What’s gotten into ya’ baby? Being so good for me. Such a good little slut, lovin’ Howard’s fun toy up your whore ass like that.”

Your husband was too busy drooling and agreeing in sloppy disjointed ‘yesses’. He was far gone, maybe had one em’ before the overstimulation took over. You crowded closer into his bulky frame, breath fanning over heaving lips. Bucky mewled and chased your lips, hands twitching at his sides, obedient as ever.

You indulged the needy slut and grabbed a full cheek of his while taking his mouth. Bucky cried out, “Oh! Mmph!” You licked into his open mouth, twirling your tongue with Buck’s while swollen wet lips caressed your own. Your husband shuddered and shoved himself closer, rubbing his tits against your silky negligee.

You smoothed your hands down the brunettes plush sides, purring, “I know you’re feeling s’good baby, you loving all this? I mean lookit’chu, you’re a mess baby.” Bucky made an indignant noise, squirming underneath you. He managed to pant, “Luh’ it. M’so horny.”

Sweet Jesus you’d lucked out. Bucky was the perfect whore, all for you. His watery blue eyes, achingly wide- watched yours. Cheeks red, trembly lips, sweet belly twitching. The cherry on top was his cock just pouring rivers of cum. You palmed his bulge, gasping at how soaked it was.

In a frenzy you unclipped the garter, Bucky gasping in shock. He made an inelegant, “whuh?” Flipping the garter up, your shaking hands yanked down the ruined panties. Mouth running overtime you rambled, “Baby is wet, so wet, gonna give me one big one Hm? Gonna cum all over your wife like a good slut?”

Bucky nodded frantically, eyes scrunching shut. He cried, “Wet for y-you- ah! Touch my balls, pluh-please they’re so heavy for you! Hngh!” You nodded, biting your lip in ecstasy, the buzzing of the toy echoing on and on. You palmed and held onto the swollen sac.

“Jesus fuck baby!,” you swore.

He was all hot hot hot and swollen. That wouldn’t do. You squeezed and rolled them, thumbing down the seam. Spurts of cum hit your belly, Bucky throwing his head back with a wail of your name. The Sargeant babbled, “Thankyouthankyouthankyou G’nna cum so hard for you ma’am!” He sucked in a wet sob and violently trembled.

“Yeah babydoll, I know you’re full up, c’mon Buck, be my good houseslut and paint my fancy clothes, ruin me, pretty baby,” you rambled breathlessly.

Bucky’s balls tightened and drew up under your palm, cock shooting load after load onto your negligee. You cooed and praised him through it, your own orgasm coming out of nowhere. You gripped at the soft flesh on his belly, panting through your nose. Simple excitement from the show that was your husband. Fat tears and hefty sobs tore Buck’s throat as he emptied.

You scrambled to turn off the vibrator, Bucky’s crying already growing frantic. You eased it out of him and tossed the device across the wooden floor. Bucky cried and mumbled nonsense, itching to touch you. You purred, “S’good, c’mon and touch me Buckybear. Good damn boy.” The supersoldier wrapped up tight around you, strong fingertips embedded into your flesh.

Teary eyes searched yours as he begged, “Baby, sweets, oh, lemme’ eat you out please! Want you on my face!”

You grinned, a complete mess, and nodded. You rasped, “Yeah, yeah, that’s a good boy, you deserved it.” You leaned back, bracing your elbows and spreading your legs for your needy husband. Bucky moaned, clambering onto his belly, big hands swallowing your thighs. He croaked, “Smell so good, my angel baby!”

“Have a taste Buckybear, sweet Jamie.”

Bucky lapped eagerly at your soppy pussy, eyes rolling at up the taste. He ate and sucked like his life depending on it, thick hips and thighs flexing against the hard floor. You threaded trembling fingers through his brunette locks, tossing your head back with a wanton cry. You blabbered, “S’good, keep it up baby.” Bucky shoved his tongue into your cunt, slurping and whining rudely.

So soon after your surprise orgasm, this was intense. All you could do was moan and whine your husbands name, riding his pretty fucking face. Bucky’s hands squeezed your thighs roughly, spreading you even wider. You cried, “Fuck sweetie! Yeah yeah that’s it!” He rutted harder, whining into your swollen pussy.

He suckled on your clit, interchanging with flicks of his tongue. Baby knew you like the back of his hand. Bucky looked up, adoration in his glossy eyes, slurring, “Love ya’ baby, pretty mama please please!” He slid a thick finger inside you, crooking the digit in quick motions. Your body arched and shivered, pussy convulsing and pushing out more and more slick.

Bucky gasped into your cunt, wordlessly wailing.

He’d cum— again. You curled around your husband, legs caging in his dark hair. Pleasure and overspent nerves overtook your flesh, making reality fizz away for God know’s how long.

You came to, cuddled with your baby in a heap on the floor, Bucky laying reverent kisses on your jaw. You gripped his soft cheek and pulled the sweetest man alive to your lips, moaning a raspy, “Love you.”

Later that night

“Yeah, so, Howard- I will give a glowing review.”

Howard’s brash laugh echoed on the other end of the line. He purred, “I take it Barnes enjoyed the treat?” You grinned and looked over to your husband, diligently rearranging and cleaning his gun. You giggled, “Oh very much so Stark.” Bucky barked from across the room, “What does he want?”

You laughed, “Sorry gotta go Howie, talk to you later, you scoundrel!”

Suspicious blue eyes stared at you, making you fall into a fit of giggles. Poor baby bear.

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I have to study. It's so late and I am so tired. I must pass these fucking exams and I know nothing. But I must also know. WHAT. HAPPENED. WITH. THE. PIRATES. 😭😭

Just a few minutes. Please.

***

I wanted to yell "PRIORITIES!!" at her when she grasped this doll as she was drowning, but.

I remembered that I too have dolls I would totally jump into the river for. However, mine are too delicate and there would probably be no saving them if they got soaked.

***

GU TINGYE??

LMAO, of course 🤣🤣 He's been saving the Sheng siblings from pirates from the moment they met!

***

Ugh, cutie baby 🤗

***

LMAO, what is up with that beard??

I am not a fan.

***

WAIT, WHY DOESN'T SHE RECOGNIZE HIM?

***

LOL, what is this nonsense?

It's literally been days since they last saw each other, a few weeks at best.

***

What a joke, smh. I hate it when writers pretend we are imbeciles and think that they can get away with nonsensical rubbish like this.

The beard is ugly, BUT COME ON! You saw this man literally days ago, he still looks the same and sounds the same. Why was this necessary? This is honestly insulting.

***

I'm still fascinated that Sheng Hong put an old woman, a fifteen-year-old and a bunch of useless maids on a boat and just let them sail across half of China, bandits be damned!

Why were there no men, no guards?

***

I also want to know.

Other than fanservicy coincidence, of course.

***

Seriously?? 🙄🙄

***

Eh... from everything I've seen so far, I am not convinced that she is not better off being the daughter of a water pirate 🤔

***

MTE.

***

Minglan and Tingye, minding their own business:

IRL footage of me:

***

LMAO, I love Shitou 🤣🤣

MTE, where did this come from?

I mean, an army is a great place to build a career if you have no other choices but you have to survive it first! How will it do your illegitimate daughter any good if you were to die?

***

Aww, happy old people make my heart melt 🤗

***

Yeah, because two dead maids are nothing to think about. It's not like they were actual people or anything 🙄

***

Why do all the girls have the same last syllable? Hualan, Molan, Rulan, Minglan, Shulan, Pinglan, etc. But the boys share the first syllable. At first, I thought it was a gender thing, but the Yu sisters, Yanran and Yanhong, also share the first syllable. Also, I thought it was customary in ancient China to give all kids from the same generation a name that started with the same first syllable?

***

LMAO, are the grannies back to matchmaking?

***

Wait, is this the guy he saved in the forest?

***

Ooooh, imperial relatives, you say??

Imperial relatives that Gu Tingye saved and are now his friends that owe him a debt of gratitude? 🤔🤔

My plot senses are tingling!

***

Oh my god. Bandits? Again?? 😑

***

Are you kidding me?

I am not a fan of this Pinglan. She seems like a reckless idiot, in addition to being a boundary-stomping, attention-seeking know-it-all.

***

OK, I am not keeping up.

I don't know anything about Chinese history. Are these characters based on actual real people?

***

LMAO, the blank expressions on everyone's faces 🤣🤣

Sometimes, parents can be so embarrassing.

[briar-rolfes-research-oubliette]

ON MONDAY, I (FINALLY) MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE NEWEST ERAGON BOOK!

MURTAGH

“A Book I Read”

It took three very patient friends of mine to encourage me to finish reading this. I took notes the whole way through, and I am now sharing those in hope of finding loving community with my fellow haters.

Important context:

I loved Eragon, which came out when I was roughly eleven

Christopher Paolini was the first author to ever disappoint me

I used to love epic fantasy, until feminism, coming out, and learning about literary criticism made me just too mean to enjoy it

Since 2015, whenever I’ve had writer’s block, I’ve found inspiration by looking at this screenshot:

Christopher has managed to create a life where his mum has never stopped doing his laundry or his editing for him. He has never worked a job in his life. He has infinite time to work on his craft, and yet, with all of those advantages, he writes the way he does. I don’t hate him, but I do want to destroy him in single combat.

LET US BEGIN.

17 November 2023

I forgot how obsessed this man is with proving he knows rare words. Picking up my phone to google the word “trenchant”.

He really just didn’t want to say the dragon had a sharp sense of humour huh? Oh, no, it’s TRENCHANT. It wasn’t even for dialogue I identified as comedy but Murtagh thought it was TRENCHANT. He and Thorn have been alone in the wilderness for too long

NOT NASUADA BEING DESCRIBED AS HAVING ALMOND EYES

Of course the protagonist has grown a beard. He’s A Man Now.

I have a theory that this book is about coming to terms with marriage. Murtagh is like “our bond… our bond that lasts until death… the oldest magic… only the two of us understand each other. But, we’re also trapped with each other,” and I’m like hm. Fascinating. Say more

Instantly Murt befriends a child, to prove he is good really.

It’s so weird to read a book by a grown man with kids who is like “how did we all start out so innocent and pure…” like have you MET five year olds

This whole fork fight scene makes me feel second hand embarrassment deep in my soul. It’s SO This Guy Is The Best And Coolest

“Fencing with effortless ease” I do not care how well trained he is: you cannot kill four men with long swords by stabbing them with a little fork in “four hard impacts.” It’s just not happening.

I’m really dwelling on the idea of magic as “imposing your will” on something. It’s very.., something. Murtagh cleans his shirt by “imposing his will on the garment” like. Okay, I suppose in a way that is how all laundry is done, but it’s. Hm.

How come he’ll clean a shirt with magic but not shave with magic? Why are these books SO obsessed with beards and shaving and how to do shave and using magic for shaving etc etc, Eragon was also majorly preoccupied with this

Paolini’s got so many complexes on the page. All the “we’re half brothers and your dad killed my dad” stuff is A LOT

The naming stuff… SMH what would Ursula Le Guin say about all this

I’m obsessed with how even as (gasp) an OUTCAST!! Murtagh can’t not be the coolest guy ever for any time at all. It’s like a disease

Giving the child the enchanted killing fork was the worst decision ever made. Murtagh gives her a murder weapon and is then moping like “what’s it like… to live without killing…” literally pages later.

I’m really startled that Murt is delighted to see a tiny flying magical grass boat come down from the sky and circle him instead of being like “wtf, I’m being Watched,” which would be the true act of a man we are told is paranoid

I just got to the bit where Murtagh offhandedly says that magic users who “are the heaviest” always have the most spell reserves.

Like……… what???? Magic eats your fat?? It burns glucose??

You could be a better mage if you just, ate a bunch of raspberry frogs before each fight??????

It’s food powered??? You really want to go there, Paolini????? Wizards in the candy shop, eating sweeties like Mistborns?

GOD, if only Galbatorix had chugged a bottle of red cordial before his last big fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I return after losing my mind about this to my partner for forty minutes)

If it was “if you’re hungry you can’t FOCUS” I’d get it. But I always assumed it was like, you know how other fantasy does it? Some kind of pool of ADDITIONAL energy that you are accessing and that can be used up (until you go too far and start using life force or whatever). Like, it’s CHANNELLING it that makes you tired, not that it’s literal food energy.

Murtagh is always running or doing his sword forms or whatever and now I’m like “DUDE, NO!!!?!? DON’T BURN YOUR WIZARD CALORIES!!?!?”

I like when magic can’t do EVERYTHING, when it’s consistent or limited in some way, but I do hate the idea that it’s this predictable. Food energy becomes raw magical power. I GUESS.

(A little later)

Screaming at the suggestion Thorn can tell when Murtagh is horny.

I don’t like the euphemisms. It makes it worse

The fact he can’t talk to his dragon whenever they’re “too far apart” (distance never specified) is making me insane. Why did I pick up the dragon riding book if it’s mostly about leaving your dragon locked up at the bike rack

I know Thorn is basically a rescue dog with anxiety, but it bothers me how much he’s left on his own. The narrative just has no idea what to use him for other than speedy transport for the first um… 200 pages, it seems? He’s meant to be his own creature with his own intelligence. He doesn’t go anywhere without Murtagh though. So what is he doing all the time

I think Paolini WANTS his world to be big and mysterious (his introduction literally just keeps saying things in the world of the story are mysterious) but he HAS to keep explaining everything

24 November 2023

I’ve figured out something that annoys me about the world of this book, in terms of just how the worldbuilding is not actually that magical. It has the D&D problem!!! Which is to say that every regular person on earth is Level One and every important character is like, level 12. And part of what makes that even worse is that all women in this world are level zero.

I’ve been watching my friend Chris play the first Alan Wake game and we realised that all the faceless enemies that are possessed by Evil in the game are… working class men. The protagonist is this literate wealthy New York writer who is constantly killing faceless workers—farmers, loggers, coal miners, builders. And that’s not an INTENTIONAL commentary by the game, but it’s very revealing. And This book is the same in that: there is no such thing as a complicated poor person. They’re all either Dirty Evil or Dirty Good. Murtagh is going around, writing poetry in his head and inventing magical computer code, and then every child is an urchin who is like Oi Guvnah, and every dad is gruff, and every woman is worried.

The language used to describe everyone who isn’t a Fighting Man is so demeaning. And even then, we only need to respect the leaders of those men. The leaders are the only ones with depth who might need to be taken seriously.

It’s like Murtagh has a tally in his head where he is going “finally, a guy who is level 6”!

Most people in this world exist to deliver information to the protagonist.

Paolini either thinks his readers are too dumb to understand that his characters exist between scenes, or he doesn’t understand himself that we don’t need to see every time Murtagh enters a city under a new name and how he does it. Or know what he ate for dinner and how he prepared it and where he slept and what he dreamed and, and, and—

It’s weird because Paolini is being self indulgent as fuck but it is NOT fun to read. This dude really just needs to go write a survival story or something… A guy in the woods depending on nothing but his wits and his axe and his beard and his libertarian values

I don’t understand the stakes at play. All the magic scenes with Mind Penetration are so sudden and hard to actually understand as action. And the way it works is about brute force, so the dragon is not going to be at risk of being taken over except by another, even bigger dragon

It would be fun to read the Murtagh city sleuth segments if Thorn was backseat driving a little. I think that their bond should not get thinner over distance. The fact that it does just defeats the point of a magical bond.

Why does the dragon have to stay so far away? Like… it’s established that there’s a spell to conceal a dragon from sight. Dude. You could just go fucking invisible

There’s so many decisions that just are so bonkers to have made. The whole fetch quest for information pissed me off so bad. “You have to join the guard” (40 pages of emotions about uniforms ensue). This guy learned about plots from video games

Paolini had kids apparently, but you can tell he doesn’t really understand kids. “How do they all start out so innocent and pure,” says a man who has never heard a seven year old describe someone being killed by farts before.

The description of Murtagh carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried is very funny. I don’t know if Paolini has ever carried a cat before. If you’re carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried close to your chest, and you tighten your grip when it squirms… say goodbye to your nipples, my man

It’s strange how much Paolini doesn’t explore the things that seem to be the point. FOR EXAMPLE, the fantasy soul bond trope loves to say “even during sex!??! 👀” because it’s about INTIMACY, and some alien presence always being there. The dragon rider trope is popular because dragons are powerful and wise but also Beasts. Magic is fun to read about because it can do things that can’t be explained.

Paolini’s world is big, but nothing in it has any real substance. Nothing in it has any real consequence, and it makes it impossible to really invest in anything that happens. None of these poor city folks have a life once they leave the scene of delivering Murtagh information… or if they are a woman, delivering him a hot meal. There’s no sense of a world that exists outside Murtagh’s point of view!

25 November 2023

The towns so far don’t feel at all distinctive to me! I was interested in the one with the massive lake, but then it having this massive fish in it was the only point of interest. It would be fun to have been like “oh the fish has ruined our summer festival! It’s ruined the nobility pleasure cruises! It’s also eating fishermen!” Or “Why do all these fishing boats have huge spikes on the prow? Well,”

Again, these guys are all level one in peasant dirt town. They have no capacity for individual thought and no ability to adapt.

It’s like Paolini doesn’t know what makes people and places in fantasy feel distinct, or have culture. It’s so evident in how much he HASN’T thought about. For example, the bonkers amount of restrictive gender norms that he doesn’t seem AT ALL CONSCIOUS OF? Everyone who died in the war was A Man. No women died in the war. But that hasn’t resulted in any social changes. There aren’t more women doing work, for example, like being fishermen

I remember being thirteen or so and reading the bit in the second book where Arya explains to Eragon that she’s better and stronger than a human woman, because she is an elf, so Eragon doesn’t have to worry about her in battle. I was this kid there like “man, that sucks. I assume he’s coming back to that assumption later,” and… he never did. He still hasn’t. And that sucks

The dragon riders were not THAT long ago, in the world of these books. It makes me wonder—were none of them human women? I always assumed that some were human women, but… did dragons only choose elf men, elf women, and human men? If they chose human women, then even being accepted into a paramilitary dragon force didn’t change gender expectations in the rest of the world. What the fuck. He’s really never thought about this.

Women keep showing up as cunning-mysterious, as humble dirtmothers, or as innocent children. Oh my god I’m just describing maiden mother crone. That’s all he’s capable of.

I just got up to where he rescues the werecat baby (innocent girl child) and settles in to hear the stories of elder werecat (cunning-mysterious)

I noticed the Arya Problem with how Nasuada is described in this book, too. Every woman has to be the best, most capable, most powerful woman ever, to be worth the attention of The Boys. Otherwise they can’t respect her. Only two literal queens can be considered worthy of just two average guys who got pet lizards. Even then, they’re not actual equals.

“She still empathised for me.” Yes, don’t worry, Murtagh, I remember that’s what women are for.

I should note that the reason Nasuada is considered so powerful and so much worthy of his love and is her strength as a person. This is proven in the Eragon books because “she still empathised” with Murtagh whilst he was medieval torturing her. He was medieval torturing her for like… most of a book and that’s how they fell in love. Because she could see in his eyes that this guy torturing her… was Complicated. He didn’t really WANT to be medieval torturing her so she actually felt worse for him than he felt about how he was (and I can’t stress this enough) medieval torturing her

I just can’t imagine that THE QUEEN OF A WHOLE CONTINENT would still prefer the guy who sadly tortured her. He’s her top preference. Out of EVERY OTHER MAN IN THE WORLD

I put the book down until the day before I was meant to have finished the book for book club:

10 March 2024: from page 274 onwards

The evil witch is called BACHEL?????!!?!??!? Fucking BACHEL. Pronounced “buh-SHELL”, the guide at the back says. You changed one letter in Rachel, don’t lie to me Paolini

I got so mad being reminded the evil king Galbatorix was defeated by “Eragon forcing empathy upon him” so that he magically exploded himself out of guilt that I had to put the book down and complain to Charlie for five straight minutes

I guess that’s why Galbatorix made Murtagh torture Nasuada for him. He knew that if he’d done it himself she would have empathised with him too hard and he would’ve exploded himself

Murtagh has never met a single person he has respected. Murtagh is the specialest boy in all the land. Eragon had to leave the country because they were both too special to share a continent

Murtagh decided on where to go and he was immediately surrounded by armed guards who took him to where the plot was

Paolini uses the fucking word “admixed” while discussing EATING A PIE. The flavours admixed in his mouth. Just because you know a word… doesn’t mean it’s a word to deploy about eating a pie

I HATE how the only people strong enough to do the strongest magic are Elves Or Human Riders. It’s fucking magic my guy! Why is it checking your goddamn DNA! Also, hey! Wasn’t it supposed to come down to the strongest wizards being the guys who ate the most for lunch?

In a world of Magic how come every wizard battle ultimately comes down to who is a better Professor X?? I came here for fireballs, not Mind Battles. I don’t care about your Mental Wards

Hahaha Murtagh!!! Get trapdoored, bitch!!!!

Dragon panic attacks: conceptually cool but a bit ?? Like ah… the plot literally comes to scoop him up and carry him away. Yet again something outside of Murtagh makes a decision for him about what to do next

Murtagh’s poetry is going to make me explode myself like Galbatorix in book 4

If there’s something I like about this book so far it’s just the bits where he and Thorn are camping. Not flying, because then Murtagh is using the time to think and that’s horrible. The bits where they make campfires or whatever feel like something is actually happening. A guy and his dragon hanging out

Man. The way this novel is plotted really reminds me that it’s not actually that hard to write a book.

Murtagh goes to the evil village (oh yeah there’s an evil village. It is where Bachel lives. She is evil because she does magic without using the magic language). The village is called:

NAL GORGOTH

But I couldn’t remember this so I kept referring to it in my head by another, more familiar, name

Murtagh is so freaked out by finding a village with architecture that he doesn’t recognise. He’s like “My god!!! Nasuada has to be warned!!!” Ok but about what??? New ways of building pillars???? The art deco movement threatens the land??

Kinda fascinated by how much this village represents a threat to CULTURE. The architecture, the people… Everything about it so far is designed to be A Foreign Threat. The inhabitants are Of All Races (except elves they are too cool too pure etc). The humans have A VARIETY OF SKIN COLOURS, which memorably never happens in Alagaesia, a continent once explicitly described in the Eragon books as only having two (2) black people on it at all (then one died) (the other is Nasuada) (the one who died was her dad)

This guy with a goatee isn’t quite human. He is maybe part urgal and he is so uncomfortable to look at! Mainly he has arms that are a bit too long!! Bachel isn’t a human and also isn’t an elf, and that’s also deeply unsettling.

Bachel also fundamentally represents a threat to THE STRUCTURING POWER OF LANGUAGE, huh??

Bachel is so far the most interesting character in the book!

Bachel has: ALMOND EYES and AMBER SKIN

Murtagh is so upset and confused when Bachel calls him “my son” like… I’m cryign. “But she’s not my mother! I know my mother!!” he thinks, in a panic.

If this was a fantasy novel written twenty to thirty years ago, then the sexual tension between Murtagh and Bachel would be absolutely insane. Alas, this is a world of abstinence, and sexuality is only ever meaningful looks between a queen and the guy who tortured her (it is weird how he keeps caressing Nasuada’s face on the gold coins)

It’s very funny that Bachel has specifically fourteen warriors. The prose keeps telling us that there’s fourteen of them. So you get Murtagh stepping forwards and then sentences like “the fourteen warriors attending Bachel shifted”

She seems like a perfectly normal cult leader to me? Why is she automatically a threat to Nasuada! How come the two of them can’t arrange a toxic political marriage that becomes… something more 😉😉😉

Nothing annoys me more in this book than Murtagh being able to identify specific vintages of wine. It keeps happening and it pisses me off

Bachel is a half elf!!! “It had never occurred to him that such a thing might be possible.” This is truly and absolutely unbelievable to me. Nobody in this world ever has sex

How did it take so long to get to such an objectively cool village!!! Like this is just a cool place!!! Sorry that Nar Nar Goon is evil but like FINALLY something has style

Three thoughts at once:

I’m so bored that Paolini’s mind can’t get more interesting than temple virgins, let alone wearing white to represent ritualistic purity. Like… nobody in this world fucks anyway, why does it matter!

Murtagh should also wear white all the time

Lesbianism doesn’t count as a violation of being temple chosen. Alín is wearing lesbianism

Paolini has never once written a woman who is Normal. He just can’t conceive of it. You can feel how he starts sweating.

Murtagh finally realised it was a cult. What sets it apart as a cult is that the followers appear to be “half-wits” to him

I’m going to detransition to break his fucking neck

Paolini has learned nothing since he had a woman deliver the exact same line in like 2008. The fact that another editor just thumbsed this up. The fact that this is in a book published in 2023. Well, now I’m REALLY embarking on an antagonistic reading: that’s right, I am reading women as capable.

Obsessed with Bachel. She is a girlboss and I’m a feminist xxx

Book is constantly weird about how much she is capable of eating and drinking at her feasts and how it makes her appear swollen and bloated etc etc. Murtagh is so weirded out by this because he feels it is unfeminine… as though she is not a witch and we weren’t told earlier that how much magic you have is directly equal to how much you eat. (Meanwhile he is only picking at his food and eating just enough of it ‘to be polite’ as though this is not making a decision to have less magic than her)

She has so much charisma compared to anyone else in the book. If my choices are her or Murtagh then sign me up boys!!!

Okay but much like how this would’ve been a VERY charged relationship 30 years ago, I’m weirdly disappointed Bachel she isn’t not described as megahot? Like the book keeps telling me about this virginal templemaiden or whatever, because Murtagh is only attracted to women he can rescue. But I’m actually just like… I think this woman is hot. Tell me more about her. It’s wild that this book is written by a guy like Paolini, who told me all about Oromis’ pubic hair in 2008, and who barely thinks women are people. Yet he doesn’t want to discuss her tiddies?

This book could, and should! have started when Murtagh landed his dragon in the evil village of Nar Nar Goon. That’s the point that stuff got actually interesting. Everything before this was literally video game fetch quest logic plotting that earned him the right to fly to Nar Nar Goon.

Boar hunt. More like BORED hunt. And then suddenly there are so many pigs, a comical number of them flying everywhere

This motherfucker using the phrase “the boar was lying athwart him” in a sentence in an action scene????

Murtagh is nearly dead and the boar is lying athwart him?

I’m going back in time and bullying the author at school

RIP Murtagh, trambled to death by 30-50 wild hogs

Oh god every time someone knocks Murtagh out he has a vision or a bad dream or a flashback or whatever and it’s so tiring

“EXISTENCE WAS A TOMB WHEREIN THE SINS OF THE PAST LAID INTERRED???” Do you ever read a sentence that sounds so much like the author is jerking it? “All had been lost, and there before him lay the instrument of their destruction” he is furiously jerking it oh my god. “Destroyer of hope, eater of light” oh, god, he’s still going

…This book is. Weird about mothers

Murtagh flies into a rage because Bachel mercy killed a guy who was dying bc of boar trampling because “I COULD HAVE HEALED HIM!!!!!” And the mercy killing is proof it is a cult. Because doing it Bachel’s way meant the guy was too relaxed and at peace when he died

Paolini’s family were in a cult, as I understand. So it’s kind of weird how much he doesn’t really understand how being in a cult works

I don’t really remember how religion works in this world, but I do remember tuning out of a long boring passage in book 2 or 3 where Eragon learned about all the gods and decided he was an atheist. It’s especially weird to be like “holy shit, an EVIL religion??!” In a book where religion has absolutely never come up before now

Oh my god, Alìn was whipped for being ‘too familiar’ with Murtagh!!! That’s because she’s so pure and a helpless victim girl in all white :’((

In my mind Bachel and Alìn COULD be in a fucked up lesbian relationship with bad BDSM etiquette. Of course Paolini can’t imagine a world where women have enough personality or agency to fall in toxic love with each other. Also even though he has people tied up and strapped down and whipped and being tortured etc in every book don’t think he knows that BDSM like. Exists. Boooooo

Murtagh: killing one guy who is dying of a punctured lung is the ultimate evil!

Also Murtagh: I know an invisibility spell, but to sneak out of my room I am going to suffocate seven men to death

Genuinely upsetting to read those men dying. He made it impossible for air to enter or exit their lungs with a word. Veins popping clawing at faces etc. God, what a way to go. So unnecessarily cruel. Yep, there goes the good guy

The main way the village is evil is that there are unsettling carvings everywhere. Paolini read some Lovecraft, but he did not understand what was up with it. Or maybe he did, because this book did get a lot more weird about Racial Purity once Murtagh arrived in Lovecraft Village

11 March 2024

There’s a bloodstain that “filled Murtagh with the apprehension of evil” and it confused me because these books are so gory. Earlier he killed four men with a fork. But like oh yeah I guess it’s because when Murtagh murders people now it’s bloodless. I guess. His murders are good you see

This chapter is called The Bad Sleep-Well you can tell Paolini thought he was a real genius for this one

Okay but why are there bats… roosting… in a cave… at night. And why is Murtagh worried that red light will risk waking them? Animals cannot see red light?? SOME FARM BOY YOU ARE, PAOLINI

Okay I have to stop nitpicking. I have to restrain myself until my Vyvanse kicks in

“Murtagh felt a sense of not just age but antiquity. Whoever had built the stairs had done so long before Alagaesia had been a settled place. What was it Bachel had said? That the cultists had lived in Nal Gorgoth since before elves were elves... He was starting to think she had told the truth.”

Sorry uhhhh, Alagaesia was settled?? When they talk about The Grey Ones, are they talking about a race PRIOR TO COLONISATION?????????

“He continued forward. Deeper into the womb of the earth. Deeper into the black unknown, seeking, seeking, always seeking a farther shore, every sense razor-sharp and razor-scraped, skin all goosefleshed, cold sweat dripping down the back of his neck and gathering around his belted waist.”

God it’s so overwrought...

He found the well!!

Oh my god. The well is a natural magic hotspot and that means it “wasn’t the sort of thing that the Draumar ought to have dominion over.” It’s a natural resource???

“Not that he would want Du Vrangr Gata to assume control over such an important location either. This was exactly what the Riders had been created for: to oversee and mediate that which could destabilize the land.”

Murtagh is going to bring democracy to the Middle East

He’s too scared to mentally contact his dragon with Bachel around. If he was a proper horse girl he would find a way

Oh Galbatorix BECAME evil because he met Bachel and she manipulated him. Haha oh dear. No, you can’t just come to the conclusion the dragon rider paramilitary force who controls the resources are bad on your own. Not just because they sent you into the mountains when they knew it was dangerous and wanted to find out if you’d be killed up there! No, a manipulation had to have happened

It’s funny to me that the evil ancient witch queen who lives in seclusion in the mountains uses the new name for the city of Uru’baen. Oh no, she knows it as Ilirea. She’s hundreds and hundreds of years old. You know what that is? Evidence of Find And Replace, to me.

Bachel’s eyes are “glowing with fevered ecstasy.” I could make her feel that way. Also. Because, I know about sex

Always with the fucking passing out at the end of the chapter for Christopher James Paolini

NOW Bachel is being described appropriately as a hottie. FINALLY. GOD! It only took Murtagh being mind controlled in his brain but I. I!!! I could see the glorious light of truth!!

“He followed, dumb and wildered.” Well, not as much as that sentence. (You can be bewildered. But can you ever just be wildered????)

The dedication to making Murtagh the most pitiful little meow meow in existence in the Galbatorix flashbacks I’m… what happened to the joys of a guy who is evil because he was convinced or was tricked, not because he was fully brain abused???

The Urgals are racially… uncomfortable. Yellow eyes and Murtagh just straight up saying “how do you speak English”

The evil guys have masks and they put them on and like channel the animals the masks are of and on one hand it’s an idea I THINK is cool but also combined with the everything it really has this “tribal stuff is threatening” vibe all over it

“What do you want, witch?”

“I want you.”

Obsessed with how he’s shackled to a table and there’s still an incredible lack of sexual energy to this scene. This is like a day at the office for both of them.

… oh, but she is wearing claws and claws DOES equal a threat of penetration. Maybe a little sexual? As a treat??

Him being tortured reminds him of torturing Nasuada. Wow, it was their first date!

It’s just like. It’s fucked up imo. She should never kiss you Murtagh!!!

Is anything more boring than a torture scene.

Also, was he not drugged right before this scene? How is he able to mentally evade her and power his wards etc?

I’m mad that when he’s brought fancy foods by Alìn he doesn’t share his food with Ubek the Urgal

Oh my god Ubek tells him a story where the moral is just him outright saying at the end, “it’s important to stay close to the people we care for, even if we don’t always fit in so easily” lmao. Subtlety of a mallet

Is anything more boring than a torture scene? How about a torture chapter!!!1!1!1!

This chapter is interminable. Oh my god.

Oh, so we did all that and he gives in I guess. I can’t believe how little agency this man has had throughout this book????

Haha oh my god, Bachel is studying his nude and compliant body in front of her court. Telling him to turn around so she can inspect his back (no mention of his ass even though it is out, tragic). Fucking love it. Now that’s bdsm. Pledging my allegiance to her instantly.

I am BORED. I liked when he was at least doing things of his own volition!

He flies his dragon off on Bachel’s orders and we get the line “Never had air smelled so… so… delicious.” Cryign

GASP he’s killed… CHILDREN!!!!!!! I hate how it only becomes horrifying for him to have done these murders once he realises they’re HUMAN children. Urgal children? The implication is that would’ve been a bit tacky but ultimately fine

Prison brothers blood pact. I feel so little about this. Ubek is 5000x more interesting than Murtagh but he’s been slotted into what is unfortunately a sort of magical indigenous person trope but where instead of being a human being, he is an orc. Which makes the whole trope much worse

Murtagh touched Alìn’s face… gasp! She’s been corrupted by the Touch Of A Man!!!!! (I do not care about this.)

(I care a little. For example she didn’t touch HIM. He just reached out and she didn’t pull away. This is the biggest decision about this character’s life, and she isn’t even allowed to be the one who makes it. He decides on her behalf, and she must be okay with it. Because she doesn’t pull away or fight him off.)

(Also Paolini doesn’t seem to be aware that ‘a woman who has been pledged not to be touched by a man’ would um. USUALLY be understood by a reader as euphemistic. Not that her purity could be forever ruined by a man literally just touching her face)

The way Paolini fills Murtagh’s brainwashed dialogue with oops all ellipses makes me want to tear the book apart with my teeth

Worst: how Grieve the guy who is part urgal is perpetually referred to as “heavy-browed.” “the heavy-browed Grieve” I’m sorry but I missed phrenology school, is that bad??

Also if he’s maybe part Urgal but Murtagh is now given a chance to making it clear that some of his best friends are urgals... Why is Grieve so distastefully described? What’s wrong with being half urgal? My suspicion: it’s the bloodlines intermingling

I suspect I can just skip every fucking dream sequence and flashback. Nothing of any value in these

This one guy, Lyreth, who trapdoored Murtagh for 2.5 seconds ages ago in the book, is TWICE referenced as holding/ touching the waists of “village” or “cultist” women in his dialogue tags. That’s the full extent of it. It’s not that there’s a giggling tavern girl sprawled in his lap while he’s speaking. These faceless women are exclusively sketched into existence by how a named male character’s hand is on their waist. We don’t know anything about how they are responding to his touch, which is extra in-your-face considering that Murtagh just obliterated a woman’s ritual purity by touching her face without asking. And it’s only ever these women’s waist. It’s not their hips or thighs or boobs. He’s not kissing their necks. I’m sure in Paolini’s mind this guy touching women’s waists is meant to read as sexual, which is supposed to reinforce that he’s a scumbag… but it doesn’t work because it’s so impersonal. These women are just… unmoving waists that he is just touching. It serves as a good illustration of how women—and sex and sexuality and bodies—are handled in these books. Men are never ruled by their strong and muscular bodies. Men have minds, and magic, and telepathy battles. Even when Murtagh is on a torture table or when he’s naked in front of a powerful woman who is actively inspecting his body, he doesn’t feel vulnerable. He doesn’t have an ass or a dick. The wind doesn’t make him shiver. He’s just a Mind. But women, well. They only have bodies when men touch them. The course of Alin’s life is defined by Murtagh’s touch, and even Nasuada, a fucking queen, only gets physical description via the coins Murtagh has in his possession and his memory of the cuts and bruises he left on her body. And women also have no minds—unless they’re werecats or elves or half elves, the only kind of woman who are remotely threatening, the only kind of women who are “as good as” the baseline of human men. Nasuada is proven as Murtagh’s equal because she was able to overcome the torture of her body. If he hadn’t tortured her, or if she had broken down, she wouldn’t have proven herself worthy of being his romantic partner.

Eragon’s romantic interest also started out being tortured. Not by him, but “girl who is tortured but is too strong to give up her secrets” was her entire characterisation for a book and a half, until he rescued her. That’s uh. That’s how you find girlfriends who are good enough for your protagonists.

THESE FUCKING BOOKS.

Bachel has put Thorn in a special wrought iron muzzle. Yet again, this is just objectively cool

We learn about who the cult worships: evil dragon underground. He makes fumes come out of the earth and they brainwash people and give them visions. He will come out of the ground and eat the sun unless every living thing worships him.

Really Bachel is not leading a cult she is leading an environmental rescue mission. Quick we gotta get everyone to worship this evil dragon STAT, or he’s going to wipe out all life on earth.

Why does an evil dragon living under the earth with the power to eat the sun (?!??!) actually want or need to be worshipped by “every living thing”. What is his motivation?? And why would that stop him eating the sun?

“The sculptures would have horrified most any artist in Alagaesia, no matter their race.” Mark this down as one of the worst sentences he has written yet!!

I realise now I’ve been misremembering multiple main characters’ names

I like Bachel telling Thorn to stay, like he’s a dog. That’s good to me

Murtagh is learning about the power of friendship to heal himself last minute, I guess

Why is Murtagh pausing to duel fucking Lyreth, the most boring man in the world. Is it because of the waists he touched??? I have never felt this man was worth any time at all

NOT Paolini specifically pointing out that Lyreth “smelled of a cloying peach scented perfume” and that he’s physically weaker than Murtagh as Murtagh overcomes him. Lyreth was too feminine to be strong, in the end

This book is obsessed with the word “youngling.” Murtagh says to Thorn “don’t kill any younglings.” He’s fighting Lyreth but he’s not worried because he himself is “no longer a youngling”. Fucking fuck off! just say youth. Child. Kid. Teenager even!! Come on!!

Murtagh going “this is taking too long” in the duel: me at the whole book thus far

“Is wrong-think to worship Bachel or Azlagur,” says Ubek. This is real dialogue in a book published in real 2023. Oh yeah btw everything he says is written like this

Oh, the urgal’s size and brute strength makes him Murtagh’s equal. I see

Grieve is legitimately yelling “kill the non-believers!!” and calling them desecrators??? Cartoon hours

To start winning the fight, all Murtagh had to do was find his magic sword! It stores all his potency and he inherited it from his father. Freud?? Don’t worry about it

The cultists are bleeding green blood???? Does this mean they’re not human or is it the lighting or what.

Groups of dragons are always being described as a Thunder Of. They’re only ever being described in visions but it’s always being described as “a thunder of dragons”, because Paolini is very proud of inventing his very own collective noun for dragons I guess

Buncha little pasty freaks showing up.

Murtagh’s ultimate challenge: he has to fight one hundred gollums

Paolini inventing new guys for his dungeon at unprecedented rates

Murtagh is legitimately busy trying to think of new names for his sword NOW?? He is just going to stop in the middle of this urgent fight to go find where the bad woman (Bachel) took the good woman (Alìn) to go “my sword has a bad name. It could have a good name.” Did he not have time while he was mouldering in the dungeon to think about this

He’s checking his compendium, like in video games.

Books have never been worse. If Murtagh/Paolini calls this sword Scar I will legitimately never know peace

Oh the sword is called Freedom now. Get it? Like America? It’s the most important value??

“Seeing the armor, Murtagh realized that the leather garb the cultists had donned for the festival of black smoke had been made to resemble Bachel's fantastic suit.”

what a sentence

This is the worst

I hate how her spear has a name and a dramatic history. Like come on

Fucking mind battles again

Alin is just… I’m sorry to her, but she’s not a real person. She’s a cardboard cutout in distress

The final boss fight should not be taking place in the magical world of the mind

Now she’s calling him “infidel?” Okay

The ultimate battle: the structuring power of masculine language versus the primeval chaos of raw women’s emotion!!! Who will win!! Hint: Christopher Paolini wrote this!

“She seemed merely a woman again.”

‘Merely’ is how Paolini always describes women (when he thinks they’re worth describing of course)

Wait… is the only reason Bachel has been intimidating REALLY just because she’s been channelling a tough evil boy dragon? Once the mask is gone and he’s not empowering her… she’s merely…

I’m going to kick Christopher Paolini’s fucking ass

Murtagh feels so emotionally close to Bachel. As he splits her skull. Normal book

For real why were ALL the Riders so afraid of Bachel??? The gas fumes? Face masks not invented?? This seems pretty easy to solve like if they’d just. Sent more than one guy?

He passes out and the chapter ends of course. Then he wakes up in the city

Ah, Alin is blonde and blue eyed. She was a pale skinned virgin who needed rescuing from an evil and also foreign almond eyed amber skinned woman who was whipping her. You know how it goes

I hate how Alìn always calls Murtagh “my lord.” She’s like one of those medieval fighting game banners of a sexy woman. She’s a cartoon.

Isn’t it a shame that when Murtagh hastily gets out of bed to bow to Nasuada he is wearing pants. So much funnier if he wasn’t

I’m so over this book holy shit

Oh, for being the apparently only sole survivor of Murtagh’s obliteration of her cult and everything she’s ever known, Alìn is being promoted to… Nasuada’s maid. That’s not what she asked for. That’s just what she’s being told she’s going to do from now on. Fucking hell.

Nasuada is Jealous of this blonde woman and I was afraid for her because Nasuada is also famously the only black woman on the continent. But of course she has nothing to fear because only the most powerful woman in the land could ever be remotely Murtagh’s equal, which she proved by being stronger at being tortured than him

She asks him to stay and she touches his hand just lightly

The END??

They don’t even kiss?!!!?!! I had to read it twice to be sure. SEXLESS BOOK.

[celestie0]

you know why he feels entitled to eat the peach cobbler ingredients without asking??? YUP, the patriarchy made him believe he’s welcome to everything he wants. can’t fucking stand him…

STAND STRONG READER (i’d have folded the first day but luckily she’s stronger than i am). i love that he’s feeling bolder with his advances 😭 he’s both clueless and strangely in tune with readers emotions and i really love that. this gojo is such a green flag i wanna fight him so bad 😩 i wanna know what was going through his head when he just went for the kiss (probably “she’s so fucking hot” or something) at that moment

their banter is so addictive and i love that they keep each other on their toes without being straight up mean to each other. also love that gojo backed up y/n with everything that’s going on with Juno, he couldve just let everything play out but he backed Juno and y/n up every step of the way even against his own sister, i love that so much 😭

as someone that has also gone through caretaker’s fatigue… i really get what she’s going through. it’s hard to realize how you flourish when you’re away from it all. i hope she doesn’t let the guilt eat away at her because we know her mom wouldn’t want that for her.

this is all over the place so i’m really sorry! i can’t help but gush over this story bc it’s just that good 🙂‍↕️ but in all seriousness, i really hope you’ve been doing well. i will be here no matter what you decide for you and your stories, it’s genuinely the least i could do for the authors that share their work with us. i appreciate you letting us read your stories and i really do hope life is being kind to you. TYSM and i can’t wait to read whatever you have for us 🥰

hiii makimais darlingg pls i look forward to your ihm reviews so much :”)

LOLOL fr. i think its so funny how im so down bad for gojo but at the end of the day he’s still just a MAN smh 😂😭🙄 ihm reader will never be any man’s peace

both clueless but strangely in tune w her emotions is sooooooo ihm gojo like you pretty much summed him up right there LOL. i feel like he saves his self awareness energy for the moments where it really matter and then the rest of the time he’s just vibing no thoughts head empty LMFAO idk thats kinda the vibe canon gojo gives me so i wanted to emulate that in ihm gojo :)

yes! tbh i love it when men choose u over their family 😂😂 is that strange? like not in a super overbearing way but idk when guys start to kinda put u up there over their family in terms of priority thats kinda hot asf to me so it was fun writing a lil glimpse of that in the recent chapter

aww i hear you, and i’m sorry. i too have been a caretaker n one of my closest friends spent two years taking care of her dad before he passed away and i could see the physical n emotional toll it all took on her :( it really is such a complicated situation, but absolutely guilt is such a huge part of it, and it’s hard to shake that feeling

thanks darling!! you’re too sweet. you have a wonderful rest of your day <3

[monta-02]

I'm going to suck the fuck out of Rowan, then move onto Lawrence. Always go for the rich man last. He's the real pick. ;) [I'd cheat and go back to Rowan ngl. Lawrence too controlling, he ain't gotta make up rules for shit imma not do anyways. But just cuz he said no imma do it, Rowan at least just knows I won't do it.] smh, two hot and sexy men. I'm feral rn. i'm sure y'know who I am anyways imao but anons fun

Gonna rant for a bit because now I have ideas--

Though Rowan and Lawrence would like each other, I do think them actually hating each other is a funny thought too, especially if they're obsessing over the same person

Lawrence and Rowan would start being passive aggressive at first to each other, and it'd end up with one of them dead if they can't work out a compromise, which the chances are unlikely since they both hate sharing what's theirs ;)

I feel like Lawrence would act calm but be VERY scary if he found it his partner was cheating. Like "where were you today?? oh really, at a friend's place? :) well your texts say otherwise."

While Rowan would just break down and be like, "wHY DONT YOU LOVE ME??!??!?!?"

[arklay]

pls give me any of the ewskers you are willing to share <3

wip title meme ♡

— when you break a man’s finger for insulting your wife

can't believe no one was curious about this one smh i love when men are insane about their wives but that's okay. so, this happens once they've settled back into the organisation, and some context here is that diana is not well-liked back there. like, not at all. even though she is a key figure in the bioweapons research there, and her position is high up, she may be respected for that, but she is still regarded with a lot of hostility by agents in the company

so, they are in the main hall, where there are a lot of people present, and this guy walks past them and purposefully bumps into diana while calling her something very not nice under his breath. people side-eye her, but as always, she just ignores it and continues walking. wesker, on the other hand, does not

he instantly picks this guy up by his throat with ease and pins him to the nearest wall before saying in the calmest, most collected voice, "i believe you owe her an apology" and diana is standing there like… so, those things you would casually say about protecting me which would be horrifying to most people were definitely not a joke… interesting. this guy tears his eyes from wesker to look over at her before scoffing and saying in this mocking tone that he sees she has a bodyguard now. not a very wise choice on this guy's part

wesker reaches down with the hand not holding this guys throat, which he's been gently squeezing ever so slightly, and he breaks this agent's trigger finger while tilting his head slightly to watch his reaction. the groan and yelp were nice, but not what he wanted. he wished to make this guy scream in agony for ever speaking to diana in such a way, but all he does is remain graceful about it all, and he repeats himself, saying it would be wise for him to apologise or he might end up with more broken fingers, and oh, he wouldn't be very useful then, now would he?

i will not lie to you, this whole display really turns diana on. like, i'm sorry, but that makes her so woozy. but, he only tightens his grip on this guy's neck, testing him, while everyone in the hall watches this unfold. further context here, this agent was a friend of her ex-husband's and there were a lot of rumours that circulated about what happened to him, even though nothing could implicate her, but they all knew how he had made a fool of her, and as ruthless as she is, they wouldn't have been surprised if she offed him, but this all only added to the insults she would receive

this guy finally realises this isn't an empty threat when it gets very hard to breathe, so he weakly mutters something out. wesker turns his head and puts a hand up to his ear, as if to say 'what was that?' while lessening his grip on the man's throat, and he gasps loudly for breath, which makes wesker roll his eyes (fed up lmao). his eyes dart between the two of them before he apologises to diana, and wesker glances over at her before shaking his head, saying that wasn't good enough, so he gets this guy to plead for her forgiveness, and it's such a satisfying sight for diana

wesker lets him go and he stumbles away while holding his neck and gasping some more, then wesker looks back at her properly and the way her eyes have darkened amuses him far too much. but there is also this… appreciation behind it which catches him off guard, and he wonders how often this sort of thing happens. and yes, she may or may not have walked closer to him and whispered in his ear for him to meet her in her lab in a few before walking away, and he delights in how people in the hall can't even look at him

[lafiametta]

I've been thinking something you know! And I gotta share with you and know your opinion! Here it is: Ling Yi is the kind of girl that shares on her socials content like "girls can't spend a day out that their man sets the whole place on fire and will be crying within 3 hours of being alone smh grown babies!", but in reality, when Olek goes back to Poland to visit his family and go on a camping trip, despite him calling her every day and texting, she gets all melancholic and distracted. She told him she would be more than fine, would even enjoy the time to do some personal stuff, in fact! But in reality she does nothing of the things she said and when she meets up with her girlfriends, instead of going shopping or dancing, they do a sleepover and endure her mopping about. No romantic comedies that night, just horror movies so she can perk up a bit. And when Olek comes back, with a nice tan, looking all tantalizing, and with a gift for her? She spends an entire week glued to his back like a baby koala. He would be surprised but more than happy to have her again! Do you think it would go down differently? Certainly they would miss each other equally, but how would they deal with it? Let me know! Also, answer this, because I'm a little cheeky: would they send pictures of themselves when apart? You know, selfies? Or more like thirst-traps to downright nudes? And if the latter... who would be the first one to send it? Sorry, but I HAVE TO ASK!

Ling Yi: Why are men so needy wtf

Also Ling Yi: Hey bby you need me to pick you up at the airport? I made dinner for us, then maybe you want to stay over at my place?

Ling Yi definitely sends selfies to Olek. Like all the time. At the park, she'll see a cute dog, and she'll take a picture of her with the dog to send to Olek. Waiting for the subway, a funny face while she's standing on the platform. After a yoga session, a picture of her all flushed and sweaty. (To each one, Olek texts back with a string of very appreciative emojis!) Ling Yi definitely teases him with some more provocative pics, although she's never sent nudes. (She had a friend whose pictures ended up being posted online, and the possibility of that always freaked her out.) She also asks him for selfies, which he'll occasionally remember to do, and once (while he was home in Poland, visiting for two weeks) she coaxed him into taking a shirtless pic, which he did under very bad lighting in the bathroom of his childhood home. Ling Yi keeps it in her favorites album, along with all her other pictures of him.

[destinyc1020]

austins dating choice is just lik any other man in the entertainment industry tbh dsnt make it right bt the way he jumped from a long term relationship with an age appropriate woman (a woman who was actually 3 yrs older) to a fling wit a then 22 yr old lily to a then 20 yr old (when he n kaia 1st started dating) is... interesting to say the least.

he seems nice n talented bt his dating habits SCREAM hollywood man now n a lot of ppl find age gaps (esp wen 1 person in the relationship is in their 20s) weird

I mean...let's be honest... Men have been dating MUCH younger women for ages...especially in Hollywood. It's nothing new. Austin isn't the first, and he most certainly won't be the last! 🤷🏾‍♀️ Mark Anthony JUST got MARRIED to a 23 year old. He's 54. 🤮 That's a 30-year old difference. By the time she was born, he was already past high school, past COLLEGE, and was in his 30's. 🥴

X

Like c'mon...I'm not gung ho about the Kaustin Berger rlshp either, but I'm not losing sleep over it....and it's not like she's 20 years younger than him. She's a young adult and is making her own decisions. It's not my business. Her parents seem okay with it (although, that's not really saying much smh🥴)..... Who knows how long they'll even last? 🤷🏾‍♀️

As I've said before, Lily and Olivia both seemed like rebounds to me (no offense). No way was he completely over a near-decade long relationship THAT fast. 😄 He was barely with these women. He was still with Vanessa the longest. No way you're completely over a lengthy rlshp THAT quick....even if you were the one who called it off. The longer the rlshp lasted, usually the longer it takes to get over. You shared a life w/someone for almost your entire 20's. I'm sorry, but that's jmho.

With that said, I can like someone w/out necessarily caring for their dating life. Just like I'm not really feeling Chris Evans and his child bride who's 15 years his jr either lol. 😅 But hey, it's their life, not mine! 🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't lose sleep over it.

I'm still a fan of Chris, I just give him the side-eye for his current gf. 👀 You can be a fan of someone and be kind of iffy about who they're dating. I didn't care for Zendaya with JE, but I still stayed a fan of hers regardless, even though I could see that JE was bad news. Look, I don't hate on these women at all.... I'm just happy my faves are happy. But do I wish they were dating women who were closer to their age?? Heck yea! But again, it's not my life.

LISTEN: IF he and Kaia ever do split up, I'll see what happens, and I'll adjust my opinion if needed. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[enchantechante]

I always feel late to the party when it comes to catching up with your posts.Lol.

How are you?I've just been catching up with the postings and geez,the gals have been going through. Unfortunately,many of us can relate to them.Some men are just clowns and actually never change,they just switch up partners and have the new partners thinking the ex/ex's were everything but a child of God when they were the main problem.

One of the asks that irritated me(I haven't gone through all of them yet)was the one about the man who post about women who wear weaves,makeup,lashes and so on.The man who was once with a woman like that and she apparently broke his heart to the point he had the balls to get on a public platform and talk trash about women who do decide to wear all of those things.....now he's with a woman who's natural and does not wear those things or at least not as much.

There is nothing wrong with wearing those things or choosing not to but there is definitely something wrong with a man who degrades women who choose to because he got his feelings hurt by a woman who does.Smh.

To be real,if one of my family members or friends got with a man like that,I would be questioning her mental state.Sounds like he has some issues that needs to be resolved instead of getting in a relationship with a woman who clearly needs to question why she wants to be with a man like that in the first place.

I've had my share of men,ones who love women who wear weaves etc/ those who don't,and one thing I've discovered is most of them lie about the type of women they really want because the one/ones they wanted rejected them or used them in some way so they say.

I also look at men sideways who degrade women who wear weaves etc because I don't do thongs like that and I've been natural since birth,34 years.So I be damned if I get with a man who thinks I'm going to allow him to uplift me by putting down other women.

Sad enough,my ex was just like that guy.The woman he was with before me was a hairstylist and makeup artist.She supposedly used him so he would post stupid stuff about women who wear a makeup etc and also would post about single mothers with multiple fathers of their children (she has three with different fathers) and would no longer let him be around them because she got in a new relationship.I left him after seeing those postings on Facebook and Twitter.I was embarrassed at first because I had no idea.

How could I be with a man like that?Why would want to be with a man like that.I love myself too much to deal with a man like that and I believe if a woman gets with a man like that knowing his views then she ain't shit herself, just like that man.

"I be damned if I get with a man who thinks Im going to allow him to uplift me by putting down other women."

BARS!!

So many good points you hit but this one right here?! This is a blog for specifically Black women here for Black women bc theyre Black women.

Ive definitely tried to break up w an ex over some posts he made that seemed prejudice towards trans-women.

Social media is really exposing peoples character.

Dealing w your personal biases in your mind-space is to be expected. But when you hop yo monkey ass online and start that bs smh