#smarts i guess on what websites are safe for them to visit so i can convince her with that.

[signum-malum]

overanalyzing past events again ✌️

[eluoleanorder]

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[rumbelleshowdown]

Author:  Blue Stiletto

Prompt:  Dog Person

Group: B 

-

Must Love Dogs

Seeking someone conscientious and responsible 

who enjoys the outdoors, long walks, and games. 

Occasional overnights, no groups. Must love dogs. 

See Mr. Gold, 412 Main St.

Belle had never expected Mr. Gold to take out an ad in the online personals section of the Storybrooke Daily Mirror. She’d been browsing the classifieds section on her phone, looking for new rental listings. Unfortunately, everything was too expensive for a public librarian’s salary.

These days, online personal ads were blurbs and a selfie on Tinder, not classifieds on the local paper’s website posted between notices for weekend garage sales and temp jobs. Storybrooke, however, was delightfully behind the times.

Mr. Gold had been one of the first people she’d met when he came into her father’s flower shop to collect the rent. They chatted for a bit after he’d tucked the check away in his pocket, and ever since, he’d had a smile and a kind word for her whenever they ran into each other. Her experience with Gold seemed at odds with the rest of the town’s residents, who often glared at him and went out of their way to avoid him. 

Last week they’d had an impromptu lunch together at Granny’s, sitting side by side at the counter while a sudden spring storm rattled the windows. He was surprisingly charming and funny, and by the time the rain stopped falling, she wasn’t ashamed to admit that she was flirting with him. She didn’t know anything about his personal life, aside from no one seemed to think he had one. If the personal ad was anything to go by, it appeared he was open to having one. 

Seeking someone conscientious and responsible

The wording was a little strange, but Gold was known for being eccentric in ways that Belle found she appreciated. He was particular with his words, spoken and written, and she often heard that his contracts were without fault or loophole. Wanting someone to be conscientious and responsible made sense if he was hoping for a long term romantic partner. No one wanted a significant other who didn’t pay their half of the rent, always forgot to take out the garbage, or couldn’t be arsed not to cheat on you with their secretary.

Her previous relationships were why she was in Storybrooke. Tired of losing her place of residence every time she lost her boyfriend, she took the part-time librarian position, and moved in with her father to save money.

who enjoys the outdoors, long walks, and games. 

Belle imagined Mr. Gold outdoors, hiking or fishing in his three piece suit, and let out a snorting laugh. She supposed that he could mean that he liked being outside, sitting on the patio or taking a turn around the park, as opposed to brushing pine needles from his tailored jacket. 

Games was an interesting word, though. She could easily see him playing cards or chess, and thought she might like to see how the two of them would do head to head in Scrabble, librarian versus businessman.

Occasional overnights, no groups.

That had her biting her lip, and wondering how occasional these overnights might be, and why he specified ‘no groups’ when she caught herself mid-thought, and stole a glance at the library doors. Monday was a slow day, but she wasn’t keen on being caught unawares, idly mulling over the word choices in Mr. Gold’s personal ad.

Must love dogs.

The phrase kept turning over in Belle’s head for the rest of the afternoon. She’d grown up with animals; dogs and cats at home, fish in her college apartment, horseback riding on her uncle’s farm. People who liked animals were people who could be trusted. That was something her mother had told her once, and thus far she’d found it to be true. Gold having a pet and caring enough to explicitly mention it in an ad seeking romance was endearing. It reminded her of her mother’s favorite coffee mug: Love me, love my cat.

If her walk home took her by Gold’s pawn shop, she might go in and say hello. Maybe she’d even be brave enough to mention that she saw his ad, just to gauge his reaction. She was conscientious and responsible, and she liked walks and the outdoors, as long as that didn’t mean backpacking in the desert or camping in the deep woods. Overnights were preferable to a walk of shame at two in the morning, though that would take at least a few dates first, and she definitely did like dogs.

Belle looked up at the three story Victorian house and felt her stomach flip.

Luck had been on her side when she’d stopped by Gold’s shop. At first, when she mentioned his ad, he seemed surprised, but then when he realized it was the reason for her visit, he was almost elated. She was grinning like an idiot when she left, but she didn’t care. He’d asked her if Tuesday was too soon, and if she would like to meet at his house. No, she said, it wasn’t too soon, and yes, she would love to.She’d spent the whole afternoon fretting over what to wear before settling on her favorite blue dress and a pair of red suede heels that matched the skinny belt accenting her waist. It was an outfit she’d worn many times, but it was safe and flattering for a first date.

Gold answered her knock within seconds. “Miss French.”

She smiled nervously as his eyes darted up and down her form, his mouth dropping slightly as he spied her shoes. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit early.”

“No matter. Just a moment.” 

He closed the door part way and she frowned, hearing him call out a sharp, loud ‘Hugo.’ A second later, the door opened fully and a large, furry head pushed its way between the frame and Gold.

Belle gasped, stepping back as a black dog looked up at her with wide, bright eyes.

“Hugo?” she questioned, looking to Gold as the dog repeatedly brushed his head against her hand until she started lightly scratching him.

Gold’s lips curved. “A good German name, supposed to mean he’s smart, though I haven’t seen much evidence of any great intellect. It was my son’s choice.”

Belle paused with her hand out as Hugo sniffed at her, and raised her eyebrows. “Your son?”

“Neal,” he continued. “Technically, Hugo is his dog, but he lives in New York in an apartment that doesn’t allow pets, and works ridiculous hours at an architectural firm.”

She blinked, trying to soak in all the information from the last few seconds. Gold had a dog, and a son, both of whom appeared to be a mystery to the citizens of Storybrooke.

“Well,” Belle said, breathless. “It’s lovely to meet you, Hugo.”

Hugo gave a soft snuffle and pushed against her, urging her to resume her petting. 

Gold chuckled. “He likes you.”

She smiled and moved to enter the house, when Gold abruptly turned and grabbed something off the entry table behind him. Facing her again, he bent at the waist and clipped a leash onto Hugo’s collar before handing it to her.

“He prefers the park,” Gold said, straightening, “but he’s not picky as long as he gets out and gets some exercise. You can let him off the leash, but he doesn’t always come right away when called, particularly if he catches a smell he likes. This whistle is brand new and does a better job of getting his attention than screaming ‘Hugo’ over and over.”

Numbly, she reached up to take the shiny metal whistle from his hand. Confusion was fading into embarrassment as she realized Gold’s ad was mistakenly placed in the wrong section of the newspaper’s website. It was meant to be amongst the pet groomers, sitters, and breeders. He was seeking a dog walker, not a date, and she felt her face flush with heat. She could admit there’d been a mistake, but that would require explaining what she thought his ad was for, and she would rather dethorn all the roses in her father’s shop with a dull knife.

“Questions?”

She blinked up at Gold. “Uh, no?” He gave her a small frown, and she shook her head, resolving to roll with the punches and worry about explaining things later. “No, it’s - it’s fine. Um, should I bring him back here or...?”

“Here is fine. Use the gate between the garage and the house, and leave him in the backyard. It’s fenced and the door off the patio has a dog door, so he can go inside whenever he wants.”

“Great,” Belle said, forcing a smile as she turned away from the door. “I guess we’d better get going, Hugo.”

“Miss French?” Gold called out, waiting for her to face him again. “Thank you.”

She raised her hand, the lanyard of the whistle wrapped around her fingers. “No problem, Mr. Gold!

[agapi-kalyptei]

lol imagine a dystopian future where a corporation controls whether you can talk to your friends or not

anyway, in completely unrelated news, my instagram account got deleted by a nameless employee for an unknown reason

although I can make a few guesses: - I downloaded memes with a 3rd party desktop software - I used a cracked version of the app without ads - I used the same email address as I used on a fb account that got blocked

Still, I talked to more people through instagram than through facebook, telegram and whatsapp combined, and it just smarts. It’s like getting rejected by someone who you didn’t quite like, but thought they have every reason to like you. I get that this is still a rather unlikely scenario for most people - I’m not going to shout at people to wake up and that their lives are in danger because they use services from monopolistic corporations. But.

It did give me a refreshing perspective on how much I take my digital life for granted. How much we’ve taken Tumblr for granted, for just randomly saying dumb things and not getting policed for it. Especially during this pandemic, *online* is our social life more than before.

Suddenly getting D-LINCed is a shock to the system. To your, private, essential life. They will claim they’re doing what they have the right to do thanks to the T&C you’ve agreed to, since talking to your friends on that *particular* social network is not a human right - but if you ever get marked as a political target, we all know these supposedly left-leaning software megacorporations will gladly obey the powers to be, however fascist, for tax cuts or simple survival.

Imagine waking up one day: google blocks you - half of your android phone doesn’t work. No GPS on google maps. No email. You cannot log in to most places without your email or Google SSO. Your chrome/firefox passwords are gone. You cannot organize events on facebook to arrange friends to come visit. Half of your friends don’t even have your phone number. You don’t know what’s up with anyone because Instagram won’t let you see. Spotify, Youtube, Netflix blocks you. No entertainment for you, criminal. Microsoft decides that in Windows 10 T&C, you’ve agreed for them to keep you safe, so they delete a bunch of files on your computer they’ve deemed could be copyright violations - even if it was just your wedding photos. What if Amazon blocks you? On all of their tens of millions of computers? It’s not that Kindle, Amazon, BookDepo, Audible won’t work. Maybe 3/4 of the websites you visit are powered, in one way or another, by AWS. Notably, I wouldn’t be able to log in to Reason Studios account to validate my license. (And again: Netflix, Spotify, Tumblr, Reddit, etc wouldn’t work.)

And yet, some idiots still say things like “oh but why are you worried about your privacy, if you didn’t do anything bad?”.

[littlebitlizbit]

The Two Year Miracle

Tinker...  Where do I begin? With his spirit, his sass? His grumble meow, or his cooing purr? The crook at the top of his long broken tail, or his blown out oracle eye? There are so many feelings and emotions that his name brings up, and I hope that I have the words to get them out right...

So right, where do I begin? I guess at the beginning. 

About two and a half years ago my household lost one of our cats to old age. Our other cat, Rufus, was never a huge fan of his late sibling, but he was still used to anothers cat’s company. I wanted to bring him in a new friend, but knew that financially it would be a stretch. I have a rare genetic disorder that gets in the way of full time work, and vet bills, especially for older cats, tend to add up... but still, Ruffie needed a companion.        I started to look online at some of the various animal rescues around the lower mainland, and stumbled across Katie’s Place. It is a no kill cat rescue, that offers a unique option for those looking to adopt.      It’s called the Permanent Foster Program. This program exists to get the most in need cats into a household asap. It applies to the senior cat’s, in Kate’s Place care, that have non life threatening issues. The hardest part about adopting out older cats is people’s concerns over vet bills, and this is where Katie’s place differs from most shelters... They work with vets who continue to see the cats for the remainder of their lives, and Katie’s Place covers any fees or medication costs.           I started looking through their cats available for adoption gallery, and finding out which ones were available for the PM program. There were at least three that could have been a good fit, so a friend and I headed out on one of their open house days to meet the candidates.            I remember thinking how smart of a set up they had, to house the rescues in a comfortable way. You pass through a safety gate and into a comfortably lit portable, with rooms running down either side of the hall, each with an connected covered patio. Instantly we were greeted by the “hall cats.” We entered the first room, that comfortably housed about 6 rescues. One of the PF cats was sleeping in her bed, and she perked up as I put my arm near her bed. She was a beauty white fluffy girl, who was sweet, but wasn’t a fan of other cats, so not the best fit. As we popped in and out of the rooms, I had my eye out for one named Smigeon, a black fluffy guy who sounded chill on the website. He was in one of the rooms towards the back, on the porch, a volunteer informed me. On the way through to him, my eye was draw to this miserable looking cat, with very obvious sight issues. He was bald and covered in scabs, raising his paw cautiously in front of himself from on top of a cage within a cage. There was something about him... but not wanting to startle him, I let him be, and continued through the door to find Smigeon snoozing utop a cat tree. He instantly rolled over and gave me the sweetest look and started purring at my pets. I was sold, and went to tell the woman in charge that I would like to take him. As I was petting some cats nearby her and another volunteer, I overheard the volunteer tearfully say “I don’t want him to die in here.” I went over and asked what was up, and was told that Smigeon came in with another cat, but this other cat was super sick, and had a stomach tumour, and wasn’t expected to last more than two weeks. I called home and asked my partner if he trusted me, and he said yes. I told him we were getting two cats. Turns out the mostly blind scabby guy was Smigeon’s old house mate. I knew that I could give him so much love in the time he had left, and though it would hurt, resigned myself to this short term guy. I was told to really have a think about it overnight, and was there the moment they opened the next day with carriers ready to bring them home.        It was as if this scabby cat, this Tinker, knew we were coming for him. He was off of his smaller cage, and at the mouth of his big one with his paw outstretched towards me the moment I walked in. My friend helped cage up Smigeon while I got Tinker into his. Smige fell asleep in his cage on the way home, while Tinker, sat half in his cage, half on my lap, staring either at me or out the window. He could see a bit...but not much. 

And then the boys were home.

Smigeon pranced around the house like he was the happiest prince. He LOVED water, like would let the tap drip on his head he loved it so much (even tried to jump into the bath with me once.) Rufus was wary of Smigeon, there were a couple hisses, but for the most part didn’t seem to mind him.      Tinker was another story... the poor guy walked into walls and chairs, but could see at least a little bit and had great hearing. Rufus was mesmerized by him. Like he could tell that something was wrong with this guy, so wasn’t aggressive in the least bit. If Tinker hissed, Ruffie would just quietly sniff near him, and give him space.       That first night, all the cats were on the bed. Tinker couldn’t jump up on his own, so I made him a set of makeshift stairs, that he ended up being really good with. He then marched, with all the grumpy sass of an old man, onto my chest, and promptly curled himself around my neck, falling almost instantly and deeply asleep. I knew then and there that this cat had my heart, in a way that I’d never experienced before. 

Sure, I’ve had some great cats, amazing cats, sweet silly cats. One of my favourite cats growing up was exceptional, Taz. He was a rescue, a smushed faced himalayan persian, who would jump from the floor up to my stomach then from stomach to shoulder and perch there. He’d give me kisses and hugs, sat on my lap every meal and whenever I was on a couch. He slept at my feet and used to love to sit on my chest and just stare at me, purring. He was the cat that made me fall in love with grumpy old man cats... but he has long since passed and I didn’t think I’d ever get that lucky again. 

I was wrong. 

As the days went by, Tinker thrived. Him and Rufus seemed to be bonding exceptionally fast, and he would devour any food that was put in front of him. He loved fresh water, and would drink loudly while padding the floor, and then would put his paw right into his mug. Oh yes, he drank out of a Batman mug, he wouldn’t drink out of a bowl, but the mug was his jam.         Smigeon, our clean, other than being older, bill of health kitty, on the other hand, was not doing well. No matter what I’d put down for him food wise, he wouldn’t eat. Not even fresh cooked meat or bacon. I started to “baby bird” him and would fill a thick syringe up with moist food, and feed him that way. He ate a tiny bit of dry food one day, and he’d drink tons of water. After a week I brought him and Tinker in for a check up, since Tinker’s skin condition didn’t seem to be getting any better, and Smigeon was getting weaker. Turns out Tinker, and now my house, had ringworm. But poor Smidge, the vet wanted to keep overnight, to see if he’d improve after being on an IV. I was called the next day by the vet, Dr.Gold, who told me that they did some more tests on Smigeon, and it turned out that his entire body was riddled with tumours. He was weak and in pain and the vet said there was nothing they could do, and that we needed to let him go. I rushed out in time to hold him, give him lots of loves and pets, as he crossed the rainbow bridge in my arms. It was hard, and unexpected, but I’m thankful that he at least got to have a final couple of weeks in a loving home. 

           He and Smigeon did not come from a safe/loving home. Tinker had scarring that showed not only a once broken tail, but also ribs. Some of his teeth were broken, and he wasn’t born blind, but one of his eye was completely blown out. Both cats were surrendered after a raid, completely matted and dehydrated. It boils my blood to think that some people can be so cruel...             Back home, now Rufus had contracted ringworm, and both Tinker and him had to be quarantined in the spare room, while we disinfected the entire house. Tinker was on cold meds, as well as ringworm meds, and it took me a few times to figure out the best way to administer it. He would go full on feral if I tried to pinch his mouth open at all, but the liquid meds seemed to be the easiest, while I held him with my arms and legs. Both boys had to get bathed once every 2  to 3 days for about two months, and we had to completely disinfect their room a couple of times a day.                     During this time I would go, in my massive Batman onesie, and just lay down with them. Rufus was never big on pets and cuddles, but everytime Tinker would march straight up my chest, and lay claim to the real estate around my neck. My guess is that my breath on him from there was comforting, like he knew he was safe... The two boys became inseparable in that time, and Ruffie actually started to want tactile love. Rufus had never liked to sleep near any other cats, but the two of then now cuddled almost constantly. 

         Finally, after getting the final check/ok from the vets, the boys quarantine was over. (Funny side story, during that visit Tiker needed to have bloodwork done... I could hear him yowling down the hall, and when they brought him back in the vet tech was wearing a fully padded suit, and plastic neck and face guard. She basically threw him at me...poor feral guy, but was calm the second he was back in my arms) Tinker was the first out of the room, slowly but surely relishing in his new freedom. Rufus was a little more cautious upon exiting the room, but cautious is kind of his default. 

     Slowly but surely more of Tinker’s personality started to come out, as he blossomed. We’d now had him for about three months, and he was showing no signs of slowing down...in fact quite the opposite. After watching him one morning accurately swat at and chase a fly, I realized how good his hearing was. The pet store near me sold these crinkle balls, that made the slightest noise while being batted around. As soon as I dropped it for him, a new Tinker was unleashed. He chased and batted around that thing with the energy and accuracy of a kitten. I couldn’t believe it. Neither could the vet. On his next check up they were pleased at his weight gain, and the fact that his fur was starting to grow back in (the exact same shade as Rufus, who knew!?). His tumour wasn’t growing, but it also wasn’t shrinking, so he was put on some pain meds to make him a little more comfortable. He became even more active after that. It’s funny, he would sing, literally sing and coo to his crinkle ball wherever he would catch it and carry it around in his mouth all proud like. If he’d lose it under some furniture, we’d have to go on our hands and knees around the house to see what he lost it under, because he would cry if he couldn’t find it. Finally I bought him a pack of 12 online, so that if he lost it, we could just pop him out another. Well that didn’t work out.... turns out this one crinkle ball in particular was his baby, and no matter what, we couldn’t trick him into a different one.

As winter started to melt into spring, and we started to let Tinker out into the front yard. It’s completely fenced in, and I'd sit with him while he explored, sniffing everything he could, with a lust for life.           When I was home (Which was most of the time) he would be my constant shadow. I sew, as well as make jewelry, and whenever, wherever I had a project on the go, Tinker would be right there beside me. I ended up getting him these vintage stools covered in padded fabric, and he would snooze lazily on them beside me as I worked away, occasionally waking up for some fresh water and head pets. Him and Rufus were still super close, cuddling for hours every day, an absolute first for Ruffie. He adopted a small Batman stuffy of mine, and started cuddling with it daily. The days that I had to go to work, he would give me sass all morning (if I put on makeup that seemed to be the give away that I was going out) and then come trotting to the door, as fast as he could, upon arriving back home. He did this hilarious thing when he was upset with me for going out... he’d crawl onto the bed and start biting the blanket. The first time he did it I thought he was stuck or something, but then I tried to pull the blanket away, and he grumble meowed. He would do it anytime I had to go out of town (The longest I was ever away was three nights) and usually when I’d come home from work. It turned out to be like a game of tug of war for him. 

 Before I knew it, a whole year had gone by with this little miracle. I was falling more and more in love with him as time went on, all the while painfully aware that every moment with him was a gift. He started to get a bit more grumbly, and eventually started developing mouth ulcers, apparently something common in cats with stomach cancer. During a check up the vet said it might be time to let him go, but he was still super active. Still eating and drinking a ton, still purred when getting love, and still played actively with his crinkle ball. We decided to treat the ulcers as best we could, and upped his CBD dose. The vet said that if the ulcers didn’t shrink with this treatment, that it might be time to let him go. I knew his lust for life, but alo didn’t want him to suffer. I remember getting him home, and telling him that I would fight for his life as long as he did. I know that cats can’t understand our language, but I feel like some of them are really excellent at picking up intent. He would always look me square in the eye, with whatever vision he had left, and seemed to be intently listening. He would talk back often too, it was pretty incredible.              That week he upped his active factor... Played more than usual, wanted to go outside more, cuddled a ton, and was just an overall super happy to be alive cat. I sent the vet videos of him from that week, and she couldn’t believe it. She agreed that this was a cat who still had living to do, so ulcer meds got added to the pain med list, and he kept on going. 

I started working from home, and that really pleased Tinker, though he became even more bonded to me than I thought possible. It got to the point where I'd open the bathroom door, and there he’d be, sitting like a patient dog, waiting to crawl back into my lap. He took his meds like a champ, and just like that, we were passing the two year mark of bringing him home.

Things with him were mostly great, but he was starting to slow down little by little.

 He started to pee on the floor once in awhile, around the litter box, rather than in it. He prefered to do his business outside, but if someone wasn’t around to take him out, he would let his displeasure be known this way. He started coming and asking for his pain meds at the exact time he was supposed to get them, if not a little earlier. He was getting slower and slower, and I knew that the time was near. I started to build up this steel wall of protection around my heart, because everytime I thought of life without him, I’d feel this overwhelming sense of loss, and couldn’t stop from crying uncontrollably. We took things a day at a time, and things were mostly normal, other than him getting a little slower. A couple of days after my birthday he was playing with his crinkle ball. The next day he didn’t eat much, but still drank a ton and went outside. The next day he didn’t eat anything, but still drank and went outside, albeit slowly. Three days after playing with his crinkle ball he had trouble standing. I looked him in the eyes and could see that my little miracle, the grumpy old man of my life, the cat love of my life, was done. I called the vet, and found out that our favourite Doctor was just getting home from Japan that night. The receptionist booked him in to be put to sleep the next day and I hoped, selfishly, that our she could make it in.            I was with him 24/7 that final week, and spent the last 48 hours on the floor with him. The morning of his appointment i brought him onto my chest, one final time onto the bed. He fell fast asleep, and I got to just feel his warmth and breath for about 4 hours. Finally, but way too soon, it was time. My friend picked me up, and we drove him out, as we had for multiple check ups, him wrapped in a towel on my lap. The wall of protection around my heart was suffering terrible fissures, but I knew that I had to be strong for him. I did my best not to cry or allow my energy to get upset, so as not to upset him. Thankfully Dr.Gold, our favourite vet, was able to make it in. She set aside a room fo us for an hour, dimmed the lights, and had a beautiful hand knit blanket for him. Remembering what he was like that last time he got poked with a needle, I asked them if I could go in the back with him to have the IV put in, and they were kind enough to just do it all right in the room. He didn’t even squawk when they administered it, which just solidified for us how done he was. We were offered more time with him, but I knew he was done, and every moment with him now was a selfish one. He closed his eyes for pets, then looked at me one final time, as the rainbow bridge opened in front of him. 

Afterwards I felt strangely numb, but also calm. I did what I had set out to do, two years previous, and was given so much more than I ever could have hoped for. As I’m typing this I’m crying, and have had to take multiple breaks. Knowing that such a special relationship is over, in these forms, has been harder than I’d care to admit. Being prepared to lose him from the get go hasn’t made grieving any easier. Greif is such a funny thing, that comes for you when you’re least expecting it. I’m bursting into tears much more than I’m comfortable with, but I know things will get easier with time. I’ll never stop missing him, but will always be forever grateful for every single bonus day we had together. 

      Rufus is doing ok now, though he is grieving too. His tail had a droop to it, and was yeowling the nights away... So I did what I did the last time he lost a sibling... He now has a new PF brother, Clue. I may not have much money, or energy, but I saw first hand the difference love and affection can have on a life. Clue is an all black fluffy guy, just like Smigeon was, and has asthma. He’s drooly and sweet, and him and Rufus have already started sleeping on the couch together. There is no way that Tinker could ever be replaced. That’s a hole in my soul that I don’t think will ever fully heal...but knowing that I’m making a difference in another life helps.  There are so many animals in need of loving homes, and not enough homes to house them. If you can, please consider adopting from our local shelter or animal rescue. I get the impulse for wanting a certain breed, but going to a breeder or a pet store is unnecessary. Just as many pure breeds cycle through rescues as not, so if you’re patient you can become the furrever home to the pet of your dreams, for a fraction of the price, and every fee paid to a rescue ensures that they can continue to help more animals.

My time with Tinker taught me to really appreciate life, and see things to be thankful for with crystal like clarity. He’s taught me compassion and patience on a new level, and gave me a lifetime's worth of cat love memories. 

Think of all that your next rescue could teach you, and start looking. Nothing would make me happier than if this story can inspire you to open your heart, and home. It can be hard, it can be painful, but I promise you, it’s worth it.  Please consider donating to Katie’s Place if you have the means. Or your own local animal rescue. http://katiesplaceshelter.com/ Thank you.

Love always,

Elizabeth xoxo

[coopdigitalnewsletter]

19 Aug 2019: Google’s green dot and Facebook’s privacy cafe.

Hello, this is the Co-op Digital newsletter - it looks at what's happening in the internet/digital world and how it's relevant to the Co-op, to retail businesses, and most importantly to people, communities and society. Thank you for reading - send ideas and feedback to @rod on Twitter. Please tell a friend about it!

[Image: Peter Fonda in The Hired Hand, 1971]

Google’s green dot: making Nest cameras more private

Google sent an email to customers of its Nest camera explaining that a software update would prevent them from turning off the status light on their camera. “You would always see a clear visual indicator when your Nest cameras are on and sending video and audio to Google” they said. 

It’s a bit uncomfortable not knowing if the house you’re in contains videos, microphones and other sensors that are watching you. So a change that will clearly improve privacy should be a Good Thing, but it has been controversial. Some customers say the light prevents a specific user need (homeowners who fear criminals will take cctv systems unless they’re hidden, parents who want to use them as baby monitors, etc, and there’s now a petition). One obvious reading of this is that the customer’s interests aren’t necessarily the same as those of people who might be in the camera’s field of vision.

The other thing that might be alarming customers is the idea that you buy a product which works a certain way, but the manufacturer later changes how it works with a software update. Once software eats physical products, they’re permanently a bit malleable. People are used to websites and software changing over time, but they aren’t yet used to thinking about physical objects as changeable software services that they’re merely renting access to.

Google’s note says that some cameras will indicate that they’re watching with a green light, others a blue light, and others will use a blinky light. Maybe a new language would help. If sensors and devices that collected data and sent it to some other place were required to indicate that in a consistent way. You still wouldn’t know whether you could fully trust the “purple light” (for example), nor what happened to the video when it got sent to wherever.

Questions of privacy and data are never about one camera, or one company or even one individual. They’re usually about multiple devices, services, companies and people with differing roles and interests. Not easy questions.

Facebook privacy cafe

Facebook is opening a pop-up coffee shop in London to give people “privacy check ups”. You would guess that this will be about being careful which third parties you share your data with when you’re on Facebook. But it might not cover how to perma-delete your FB account or send them a GDPR subject access request.

(Previously: students pay for coffee with personal data.)

2030

Yotta walks down the street through an invisible bath of data, network pings and sensor attention that her device describes as an audible crackling in the background like a radiation counter. Her earring buzzes when she turns to face the shop - there’s a brief pause as DuckDuckSocial provides a disposable proxy identity. She won’t get the loyalty points but she has principles. She steps over the threshold of the Whatstagram coffee shop and into quote a safe social space. The crackling thins out - inside the shop Whatstagram blocks some traffic to other platforms.

At the table with friends, their devices all flash purple LEDs • to indicate personal data being gathered by the network. She know her devices will try resist the sensors, offering deepfaked data. But you never know if it works. 

“If this shop worked like Whatstagram actually does, they’d give you this free coffee and a cookie, and then very closely watch how you behaved, who you spoke to, taking lots of notes, follow you to the bathroom, and continue when you walked off down the street.”

“Yeah yeah Yotta, but the coffee is good.”

“I know.”

Livestreamed funerals

Livestreamed funerals: “nearly 20 percent of US funeral homes now offer the service—a big number in an industry resistant to change—in response to demand from clients. Tech-savvy entrepreneurs offer livestreaming as a service to hesitant funeral directors” 

Internet fridges

At last, you think, a genuine use for an internet fridge! Infuriated by her daughter’s obsession with social media, a mother confiscates her internet devices, resulting in the teen tweeting from gaming boxes and eventually from a smart fridge. Funny story. Though maybe it was a Twitter joke, or just a guerrilla marketing campaign (the fridge manufacturer claims not). Whether it is true or not, you can expect to see people emergency-tweeting from their fridges in a movie plot in 2021. 

Two more marketing stories for a world in which true and fake are smooshing into each other: a depressing article on how to piggyback your marketing onto news stories. A vision for “synthetic media” - computer-generated content.

(Elsewhere in marketing, Facebook will be rebranding Instagram and WhatsApp as “by Facebook”, though these days you wonder if rebranding FB “Newsfeed by Whatstagram” could have been worked.)

Tracking the tracking

The last newsletter was looking for a user-friendly tool that you could give a web address to and get back a list of third party tracking things running on that site. A beloved reader writes: “PrivacyBadger will almost do what you want with trackers: it’s a browser extension built by the EFF that will show (and block) trackers when you visit a page”.

Co-op Digital news

Service mapping to make friends and influence stakeholders.

Most opened newsletter in the last month: small baskets at Amazon Go stores. Most clicked story: what’s on the Alan Turing banknote?

Events

Public events:

Ladies that UX - Tue 20 Aug 6.30pm at Federation House.

Manchester WordPress user group - Wed 21 Aug 6.30pm at Federation House.

What is responsible tech? - Thu 22 Aug 6pm at Federation House.

'Disability Confident' Celebrating diversity at work - Fri 13 Sep 8am at 151 Deansgate.

ODI’s Strategic data skills - Mon 16 Sep 8.30am online course (needs 3-5 hours/week)

Mind the Product - MTP Engage - Fri 7 Feb 2020 - you can get early bird tickets now. 

Internal events:

Delivery community of practice - Mon 19 Aug 1.30pm at Fed House.

What has the web team been up to? Playback - Tue 20 Aug 1pm at Fed House 5th floor.

Health team show & tell - Tue 20 Aug 2.30pm at Fed house 5th floor.

UX future vision wrap up show & tell - Wed 21 Aug 11am at Fed house 5th floor.

Engineering community of practice - Wed 21 Aug 1.30pm at Fed House Defiant.

CRM and data ecosystem show & tell - Wed 21 Aug 3pm at Angel Square 13th floor breakout area.

Membership show & tell - Fri 23 Aug 3pm at Fed House 6th floor kitchen.

More events at Federation House - and you can contact the events team at  federation.events@coopdigital.co.uk. And TechNW has a useful calendar of events happening in the North West. 

Thank you for reading

Thank you, clever and considerate readers and contributors. Please continue to send ideas, questions, corrections, improvements, etc to the newsletterbot’s typing squirrel @rod on Twitter. If you have enjoyed reading, please tell a friend!

If you want to find out more about Co-op Digital, follow us @CoopDigital on Twitter and read the Co-op Digital Blog. Previous newsletters.

[doomedhowell]

Up Close And Personal

Summary: Dan is a famous dinosaur expert who has been studying dinosaurs his whole life, and gets the opportunity to work at Jurassic World (he works exclusively with the raptors). Phil is a very smart guy, like a genius, and he’s close friends with Louise who works at Jurassic World so he gets to go to Jurassic World and gets behind the scenes VIP treatment. There, he meets Dan. Unfortunately for Phil, things go wrong while feeding the raptors and an accident happens.

Genre: AU, Fluff

Word Count: 4,532

Trigger Warnings: swearing, blood

A/N: This is not beta’d so I apologize for any mistakes. Also, this isn’t as dramatic as I hoped it would be but I’m still pretty pleased with the way it turned out. I’ve been wanting to write a Jurassic Park/World au ever since I started watching them a little while ago (and the new movie got me hyped so).

Phil’s been excited about this trip for months. He’s been saving up for years, spending most of his summers doing different random jobs so he could earn money to go to Jurassic World. It’s only been a couple of years since the park’s been opened but ever since Phil heard about it, he knew he had to go.

Phil is a genius kid. He’s very smart, and knows facts about things you don’t need to know facts about, which can be quite annoying for the other students in his classes. He’s one of those students that reminds the teacher about giving out homework. But, he just can’t help it. He loves learning.

Which is why Jurassic World is the perfect place for him to go to. There’s so many different types of dinosaur species, some that even he doesn't know about. Why not go to a place where you can learn and have fun at the same time all while getting a close up experience with real life dinosaurs?

“Phil, please be on your best behavior,”

Phil sighs as he looks up at his mom. “Mum, I’m going to be fine. It’s not like anything’s going to happen,”

“Sweetheart, you’re going to an island filled with hundreds of dinosaurs. Something’s bound to go wrong,”

Phil huffs. “Well, I’m confident that nothing’s going to go wrong,” he mumbles. “Louise even told me that there’s not been one accident since the park opened. They’ve got it down to a science now.”

Kathryn scoffs and shakes her head. “I find that hard to believe,” she mumbles. “Anyways. Still, have fun. Just, take care of yourself, okay Philly? I know that you’re not a little kid anymore but you’re still my baby. I’d hate for anything terrible to happen to you. I know how long you’ve been looking forward to this.”

“Yes, two years, to be exact,” Phil smiles. “I’ll see you in a couple weeks, okay mum? I have to go now. The plane is leaving soon and I don’t want to miss my flight to America.

“Alright, alright. Have fun, and be careful-” Kathryn hugs Phil one last time, squeezing him extra tightly. “And I can’t wait to hear all about your trip when you come back!”

Phil smiles as he pulls away from his mom, and hugs the rest of his family.

“And Phil,” Martyn begins. “If you do happen to come face-to-face with a dinosaur. Run.” He smirks.

Phil rolls his eyes, while his mother gasps and whacks Martyn on the shoulder.

“Whatever. Bye guys! I’ll make sure to text you guys when I get there. Lord knows that It’s going to take a long time to get there-” He chuckles and then he bends down and grabs his bag. Phil starts walking away from his family. He takes a deep breath and looks back once last time, waving at them.

While Phil is excited about going to Jurassic World, he can’t help but be a little nervous. His mom is right. He’s going to an island where hundreds of dinosaurs live. Anything could happen.

Phil just hopes that nothing happens, and that everything goes smoothly.

After a long flight, and then a long boat ride, Phil finally makes it to the Jurassic World island. He’s planning on staying with his friend Louise for two weeks. Louise works at Jurassic World and is giving Phil all the VIP access to everything. Phil couldn’t wait to see all the behind the scenes of the park.

“Phil! It’s so good to see you again!” Louise greets as Phil walks into the hotel he’s staying at.

“Lou, it’s been so long!” Phil smiles and wraps his arms around her, hugging her tightly. “This place is absolutely crazy.” He pulls away from the hug and looks up at Louise. “I haven’t even been to the park yet but I’m already obsessed with this place. You’re so lucky you get to work here and live here.”

Louise chuckles. “It’s wonderful, isn’t it?” She grins. “Just wait until you see the park.”

“Oh, I’m so excited,” Phil bounces on his feet excitedly. “I’ve been planning this trip for months.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Louise giggles. “I mean, you’ve been texting me all week!”

“Hey!” Phil pouts and crosses his arms against his chest. “I’m just excited, okay? Nothing else like this exists in the world. This is like… a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“You are right. This place is remarkable,” Louise smiles. “Should we take you up to your room?”

“Yes! You lead the way,” Phil says as he starts following Louise.

Louise gets Phil checked into the hotel, and then she leads him all the way up to his hotel room.

“Wow. What a view,” Phil whispers as he walks into his room.

“One of the best. You’re lucky. This room is usually booked by someone else,” Louise tells him.

Phil drops his bag and walks over to the window, his eyes wide and jaw dropped. He couldn’t believe that he actually gets to stay in a place like this. It was super expensive, but totally worth it in the end.

“So, do you think you’ll be okay by yourself until tomorrow?” Louise asks, breaking the silence.

“As long as you promise that I won’t be surprised by a dinosaur in my room?” Phil asks, looking at Louise.

Louise laughs and rolls her eyes playfully. “Yes, Phil. I promise that no dinosaur will be coming to visit you. We have the dinosaurs kept safely in their homes,” she says.

Phil grins. “Okay then, I’ll be fine,” he says.

Luckily for Phil, he had a wonderful first night at the hotel with no dinosaur disturbances. He even slept like a baby, surprisingly. Who could blame him? The hotel is literally right next to the park. What if a dinosaur escaped and attacked the hotel. Of course, it was highly unlike with how secure the dinosaurs are. But, Phil still had his worried. Good thing he had more excitement than worries.

“Phil, you’re up early. I shouldn’t be surprised though,” Louise chuckles as she meets Phil in the lobby, early the next morning. Phil got up as early as possible, and got himself ready for the day. He’s proudly wearing one of the new Jurassic World t-shirts they sold on their website (that was insanely expensive for a t-shirt, but Phil had to get it) with some nice fitted jeans. Phil’s also going to be walking around the park all day so of course he had to bring a pair of comfortable tennis shoes.

Phil smiles. “I want to spend the whole day at the park,” he says.

“Even spending a whole day at the park won’t get you to see everything. I guess it’s a good thing that you’ll be spending two weeks here. Unfortunately I’m super busy and won’t be able to walk around with you. But-” Louise turns and smiles when she sees a brunette haired girl walking up to them. “I know you were hoping for me to show you around but my schedule is unfortunately very busy at the moment so, my friend Zoe will be showing you around. She knows the park just as well as I do.”

“Hi, Phil. Nice to finally meet you-” Zoe walks up to Phil and shakes hands with him. “Louise has told me so much about you. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”

“Wow. Good things I hope?” Phil chuckles nervously, glancing over at Louise.

“Of course. I could never say a bad thing about you,” Louise assures him.

“Yeah. She’s told me how brilliant and smart you are, she also told me that I should prepare myself for all the dinosaur facts you’ll be telling me while we’re here,” Zoe says.

“Sorry in advanced,” Phil blushes and looks down at his hands.

“That’s okay. At least dinosaur facts are fun!” Zoe grins, and then she looks down at time on her phone. “Shall we get going then? We don’t want to miss any of the fun.”

“You’re correct. Will we see you later, Lou?” Phil asks, looking up at the blonde.

“Possibly, if it’s not a busy day. Though most days, I’m pretty busy. Especially when we have new visitors at the park. I’ll text Zoe later and let her know my schedule,” Louise smiles. “I just want you to have fun.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I will. Now, let’s go! There’s only so many hours in a day!” Phil reaches over and grabs Zoe’s hand and starts running out of the hotel.

Zoe laughs as she lets Phil lead the way.

Today is definitely going to be an interesting day, that much Zoe knew.

The morning of Phil’s first time at the Jurassic Park was pretty calm. He walked around the park for a bit, had some breakfast with Zoe, and then went around to some attractions of the park. Now he’s finally getting to see some more of the behind the scenes stuff which is what he’s really excited for.

“We’re going to see the raptors, here is where you’ll meet Dan Howell,” Zoe explains.

Phil gasps and looks over at Zoe with wide eyes. “Dan Howell? Like, the Dan Howell? World famous dinosaur expert, Dan Howell? Oh my God. I can’t believe I’m actually meeting him!” He squeals.

Zoe laughs at Phil’s sudden burst of excitement. “Yes, that Dan Howell,” she confirms.

“I’ve read all about him, of course I’ve done my research on him. He has one of the best jobs in the world!” Phil exclaims. “I mean… how freaking cool would it be to just work up close and personal with the raptors? Not only that, but also have a personal connection with them.”

“Yes, but it also can be a very dangerous job,” Zoe adds.

“Way to ruin the fun,” Phil mumbles, though Zoe can tell he’s joking by the tone of his voice.

“Hey, I’m just being real-” Zoe giggles. “There’s been many people injured because they weren’t careful.”

“And, has Dan Howell ever been injured?” Phil asks curiously. “I mean… he works with them the most.”

“Why don’t you ask him?” Zoe asks, nodding forward. “Good afternoon, Dan.”

Phil looks up and then his eyes widen when he sees Dan Howell standing there. Phil has been so excited to meet him and ask him all about working with the raptors, but now that Dan’s literally right in front of him, he has no clue what he’s supposed to say, and Phil doesn't want to make a fool of himself.

Dan looks over and smiles when he recognizes Zoe. “Oh hey Zoe,” he greets, and gives her a hug.

“Hey, Dan. I’ve brought a visitor,” Zoe says as she points to Phil.

“Yes, I can see that,” Dan glances over at Phil. “And, who might you be?”

“I-I-I-” Phil stares at Dan with his mouth open and wide eyes, clearly starstruck.

Dan blinks a few times as he looks over at Zoe. “Is there something wrong with him?” He asks quietly.

“Phil is a… a big dinosaur nerd. I’m just going to assume that he’s a really big fan of yours,” Zoe shrugs. She reaches over and shoves Phil gently to snap him out of his starstruck phase. “Phil!”

Phil gasps and looks up at Dan. “I’m Phil!” He holds his hand out, and his eyes widen even more when Dan shakes it. “Dan Howell just shook my hand. You… You’re Dan Howell. The Dan Howell?”

“Yes, it appears that I am,” Dan chuckles and raises his eyebrows. “So, you like dinosaurs, huh?”

Phil blushes and nods his head. “Y-Yes, Sir. Been studying them since I was a little kid,” he mumbles.

“Hm, I see. Interesting,” Dan couldn’t help but be impressed with Phil and his interest of dinosaurs. Normally he doesn’t meet people who are actually interested in the dinosaurs themselves.

“Oh, by the way… Phil is a friend of Louise’s. He’s visiting for a little while, and she’s giving him access to behind the scenes stuff. So, I was thinking maybe he could hang out with you for a little bit while I go get some work done. Then, I’ll come back at lunch?” Zoe suggests, looking at Dan.

Dan shrugs. “Whatever. He can hang around, as long as he doesn't go near my raptors,” Dan warns.

“Yes, Sir. I-I won’t go near them. Wouldn’t want to go near them anyways,” Phil mumbles. He glances over and sees the five dinosaurs in the cage. “Cool…” He walks closer to the cage.

Dan looks over at Zoe, frowning. “Are you serious?” He hisses. “Zoe, I’ve got work to do as well.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sure he won’t be any trouble. Just, let him hang around. He’s really smart, and he’ll most likely ask a lot of questions. He knows a lot of dinosaur facts,” Zoe says. “It won’t be as bad as you think.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Go do your bloody work,”

Zoe giggles. “Thanks Dan. See you later, Phil!” She shouts before taking off.

“Alright… listen up, mate…” Dan sighs, and then he walks over to Phil and he pushes him back a little. “I’ve got a job to do and dinosaurs to take care of. You can hang around all you want but don’t bother me while I’m working, got it? It’s my job to keep these raptors in check.”

“Okay,” Phil blinks a few times. “But… Louise says I get to see behind the scenes stuff?”

“And, you can. From a distance,” Dan tells him.

Phil sighs. “I guess that’s better than nothing,” he mumbles.

“Right, because most park-goers don’t get to be this close to dinosaurs, so, no complaining about this,” Dan warns before he starts walking back over to the raptors, and Phil follows him.

“Do they have names?” Phil asks curiously, causing Dan to stop walking and letting out a sigh.

“Yes, of course they have names. That’s Charlie, that’s Delta, that’s Blue, and that’s Echo,” Dan tells him as he points to each one. He looks over at Phil with raised eyebrows.

Phil looks at each of them, and his eyebrows furrow slightly. “How do you tell them apart?” He asks.

“I’ve been around them long enough that I’ve been able to tell them apart,” Dan replies with a shrug.

“They’re so cool,” Phil whispers. “Have you ever been bitten by one?” He asks. “Or, like… attacked?”

“No,” Dan scoffs and shakes his head. “I’ve never been attacked by any dinosaur and I don’t plan to now. I’m not an amateur . I’ve been studying dinosaurs and handling them for years so I know what I’m doing. Most people these days only take up these gigs because they wanna show off how tough they are and don’t actually care about the dinosaurs like I do. It pisses me off, really. These dinosaurs are actual creatures with feelings, believe it or not. They’re real. They aren’t animatronics.”

Phil blinks a few times, surprised at Dan’s rant. “It’s good that someone cares about them,” he says.

“Whatever,” Dan sighs and looks back at the raptors.

“How old are they?” Phil asks, looking up at Dan.

Dan closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, already getting annoyed with Phil’s questions. “Alright, listen kid, I’ve got a job to do. I don’t have time to answer all of your bloody questions, got it?”

“Dan?”

Dan looks over and sighs in relief when he sees that it’s his coworker, PJ. “Hey, Peej. What’s up?”

“Who’s this?” The man asks as he walks closer to Dan and Phil.

Dan sighs. “Phil. He’s a… a friend of Louise’s,” he says.

“Oh. Okay. Well, what is he doing back here?” PJ asks curiously, raising his eyebrows.

“Louise is giving him VIP special treatment I guess,” Dan shrugs. “Whatever. Is it feeding time?”

“Yeah, they’ve already started,” PJ tells him, glancing over at Phil. He and Dan immediately looks over when they hear shouting. “Shit, somebody fell in the cage! It’s the new guy!”

“God dammit,” Dan sighs and shakes his head. He runs over and opens the gate, and slides into the gate, as well as PJ. “I’ve got the raptors. Get him out of here. Now.”

PJ runs over to the boy and grabs him, dragging him out of the cage since he couldn’t walk.

Phil’s eyes widen as he watches the scene in front of him, though he’s not surprised that Dan immediately stepped up and went to help save the boy who got stuck in the cage.

Phil stands still, but his eyes are wide and his heart is pounding against his chest.

“Blue,” Dan says, his arms out as he’s in front of him as he looks at all the dinosaurs. “Stand down.”

“Dan,” PJ hisses as he watches his friend closely. “Hurry the fuck up before you get yourself killed.”

“Shh. You know I have to do this slowly. One wrong move and then I fuck everything up,” Dan glares at PJ before look back at the raptors, and takes a deep breath. “Stand down. Now.” Blue nips at Dan and growls. Dan hears the gate slowly opening. Dan slowly starts backing up, but then Delta quickly passes him and runs out of the gate. Luckily Dan makes it out of the cage and the gate is shut before any of the other raptors get out of the cage. “Shit! PJ, get as many people as you can! Delta escaped!”

Dan looks over to where Phil is and his eyes widen when he sees Delta running in his direction. “Oh no,” he starts running towards Phil as fast as his feet can take him. “Phil, run!”

Phil looks up and his eyes widen when he sees a raptor heading straight towards him.

“Run!” Dan yells, panic in his voice. “Delta, you better listen to me!”

Phil quickly starts backing up. He turns around and then trips, falling onto the ground. He looks up over and whimpers when he sees the raptor is inches away from his face. Of course Phil wanted an up close and personal experience with some of the dinosaurs on this trip to Jurassic World. But, not this close.

Phil holds up his arm to cover his face, and lets out a scream of pain when the raptor bites into his arm, blood immediately pouring out of his arm. Phil hasn’t felt anything like this before, and he’s terrified. Luckily, the raptor is captured before anymore damage can be done.

PJ runs over to Phil with medical immediately.

There are tears pouring out of Phil’s eyes, and he suddenly finds it hard to breathe.

“Stay with us, Phil. We’re going to get you help immediately,” PJ tells him, though Phil can hear the panic in PJ’s voice which doesn’t help the situation at all. Phil looks up at PJ as his vision starts blurring, and then he passes out seconds afterwards. PJ’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit. Shit, shit! Is he going to be okay?”

“Yes. Your friend should be just fine. We just have to stop the bleeding and get him to the hospital as quick as possible so he has lesser chance of losing his arm completely,” the doctor tells him.

Luckily, an ambulance arrives within’ seconds and they’re able to get Phil straight to the hospital.

PJ runs back to Dan, who’s just getting Delta back into the cage with the other raptors. “Dan?”

Dan looks over at PJ with wide eyes. “I thought that I had everything under control. I knew I should have been more careful otherwise no one would have gotten hurt. Where is Phil? Is he alright?” He asks.

PJ takes a deep breath. “He was bit,” he tells Dan sadly. “They say he should be fine…”

“Shit,” Dan curses, clenching his fists angrily. “How bad is the injury?”

“Not too bad. Luckily the ambulance got here quickly, and the doctor said they should be able to fix him before anything gets worse,” PJ tells him. “As long as he doesn’t lose too much blood, he’ll be fine.”

“Fuck, Louise is going to kill me. I was supposed to look after him,” Dan mumbles.

“Stop blaming yourself, okay? It wasn’t your fault, Dan. You had nothing to do with Delta getting loose, and it’s not your fault that she escaped either. You did everything you could to the best of your ability,” PJ reaches over and gently squeezing Dan’s shoulder comfortingly. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Dan jumps slightly when his phone starts ringing, earning a chuckle from PJ. He pulls his phone out from his pocket and frowns when he sees that it’s Louise who’s calling him. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he mumbles before answering the call. “H-Hey, Louise.”

“Dan! Is everything alright. I heard there was an accident with the raptors!” Louise exclaims.

Dan takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Th-There was an accident. Um, Phil…”

“Phil?” Louise gasps. “Oh, God. Please tell me he’s okay. Dan, please.”

“One of the raptors, uh… Delta, sh-she escaped after an accident with the feeding. She attacked Phil and bit his arm, but it was nothing serious, okay? He’s going to be just fine. The doctors are looking out for him right now as we speak and he’s on his way to the hospital,” Dan explains.

“Oh, thank the lord. I don’t know what I would have done…”

“Hey, everything’s going to be fine. Don’t think about that,” Dan says softly.

“Y-Yeah. I gotta go. I wanna be there for Phil when he wakes up,” Louise says.

“Yeah. I’m going to try to visit him when I get the chance. I gotta make sure the raptors are tame,”

“Thanks, Dan,” Louise lets out a sigh. “I’ll talk to you later, and give you an update on Phil.”

“Thanks. Stay safe,” Dan says before hanging up on Louise. He looks over at PJ with a frown.

“That could have gone a lot worse, I’m just saying,” PJ says with a shrug.

Dan laughs and shoves PJ playfully. “Literally, shut up. Help me with the raptors,” he says.

After a few hours, Dan finally is able to arrive at the hospital. He couldn’t stop thinking about Phil all day, even though PJ told him that it wasn’t his fault Phil got bit… Dan still felt guilty about the whole situation. He just couldn’t stop thinking about how he could have done something to stop this all from happening. Dan’s never once had an accident since he started working at Jurassic World.

“Dan!” Louise exclaims, running up to him and hugging him, once she sees him.

“Lou,” Dan chuckles lightly as he hugs her back. “I know you’ve been worrying, and I’m fine. How’s Phil?”

“He didn't lose his arm,” Louise says as she pulls away from the hug. “Which is the most important thing.”

Dan sighs in relief, and nods. “Yeah, that is the most important thing,” he says before looking up at her. “Louise, I’m so fucking sorry. I know I should have been able to stop Delta from getting to him but I couldn’t get to him in time. You know how fast those raptors can be.”

“It’s okay, Dan…” Louise gives him a reassuring smile. “No one is blaming you. It was an accident.”

“But, Phil could have seriously gotten injured today, Louise. He could have died!” Dan exclaims.

“But, he didn’t,” Louise says softly. “And that’s all that matters. Phil’s alive, and safe.”

“Is… he awake?” Dan asks nervously, biting his lip.

“I think so. You can go see if you can visit him. I’m not sure how awake he is though,” Louise tells him. “But, I’m sure he would love some company. It’s been a long day for him.”

Dan chuckles. “Yeah,” he says. “Thanks, Lou. Are you sure you don’t want to see him?”

“I saw him earlier, it’s okay,” Louise smiles. “He wasn’t awake, but I know that he’s okay. You see him.”

Dan smiles, and then he walks up to one of the nurses. “Excuse me. Am I allowed to visit Phil Lester?”

The nurse looks over at him and stands straight when she realizes that it’s Dan. “Dan Howell! Oh, um… Yes, of course. We just finished checking up on Phil. It looks like he’ll have a nice recovery.”

Dan smiles, feeling relieved and much better than he did earlier. “That’s great. Can I see him?”

“Yes, follow me,” the nurse says before she starts leading the way to Phil’s room. “Oh, by the way, Phil might be a little out of it, as we just had to do surgery on his arm, but other than that… he should be fine.”

“Thank you,” Dan says, giving her a smile before walking into the room. He takes a deep breath when he sees that Phil is awake. “Phil?” He nervously walks closer to him.

Phil instantly looks up at the sound of the sudden voice, and is relieved when he sees Dan. “D-Dan?”

“Hey,” Dan smiles softly. “How are you feeling? I hear you get to keep your arm.”

“Yeah,” Phil chuckles and looks down at his arm. “I do. I’m feeling better, thanks for asking.”

“Look, I’m sorry… about earlier. And, not just the whole raptor attacking you thing. I know I was a bit of a dick to you. You’re just someone who really likes dinosaurs and I shouln’t have been so harsh,” Dan says.

“It’s okay,” Phil tells him. “I’m not mad or anything. I know I can be quite annoying. My brother’s told me on numerous occasions. You were just doing your job and I was still starstruck about meeting Dan Howell.”

Dan chuckles. “Are you still starstruck about meeting Dan Howell even after he almost cost you on arm?”

“Yes, because it wasn’t his fault that I got bit by that raptor,” Phil smiles at him reassuringly.

“How about, when you get out of here… I will personally take you around Jurassic World and get you all the VIP treatment that you deserve. I’ll pay for everything,” Dan says.

“Dan, you don’t have to do that, really. Besides, I’m honestly not sure I want to go back to Jurassic World after everything that happened today. I’m kind of terrified after seeing a dinosaur that close,” Phil frowns.

“No, come on, now. I mean, I understand why you would be scared but, I know how excited you were about your Jurassic World experience. There’s so much more to see. You have to give it another chance. I’ll make sure we have high security and everything so that you won’t get hurt again,” Dan says.

Phil looks up at Dan and smiles. “So, would this be like… a date?” He asks.

“If you wanted it to be,” Dan grins. “I wouldn’t mind if it was a date.”

“So, I meet Dan Howell, then I get bitten by a raptor, and now I get to go on a date with Dan Howell?”

Dan laughs. “Well, at least you have a story to tell when you get back home,” he says.

[cyber-security-news]

Ransom from Home – How to close the cyber front door to remote working ransomware attacks

Our working routines have shifted dramatically as a result of the Coronavirus. These will, in many circumstances, outlive the pandemic. Working from home, though, comes with its own set of risks. One is that you may be inviting ransomware assaults from a new breed of cybercriminal who has previously focused on directly attacking the business network. Why? Because you're increasingly seen as a soft target if you work from home.—the open doorway to extorting money from your employer.

So, how can ransomware make its way to your front door? What can a stay-at-home worker do to close that door?

The new ransomware trends Trend Micro detected approximately 61 million ransomware-related threats last year, up 10% from the previous year. But things have only worsened since then. Ransomware detections increased by 20% globally in the first half of 2020, reaching 109 percent in the United States. And why is it the case?

Ransomware, at its most basic level, looks for and encrypts most of the data on a targeted machine, rendering them unusable. Victims are then asked to pay a ransom within a certain amount of time in order to acquire the decryption key that will allow them to access their data. If they don't, and this material hasn't been backed up, it could be lost forever.

However, in recent years, attention has shifted to public and private sector firms with employees who work from home (WFH). Remote workers are less likely to be able to defend themselves against ransomware assaults, and they also serve as a convenient stepping stone into high-value corporate networks.Furthermore, cybercriminals are increasingly trying to steal sensitive data before encrypting it, even though they're more likely to get a greater ransom from a remote employee's data than they are from a regular customer, especially if the data is ensured by cyber-insurance.

Homeworkers are being targeted increasingly frequently for a variety of reasons: They may be more easily sidetracked than those at work. The security of your home network and endpoints may not be up to par with that of a business. Home systems (routers, smart home gadgets, PCs, and so on) may be out of date and hence more vulnerable to attacks. Remote workers are more likely to visit vulnerable websites, download dangerous software, or share computers/networks with people who do. Corporate IT security staff may be overburdened with other responsibilities, making it impossible to provide fast assistance to a remote worker. In the past, security awareness initiatives may have been absent, fostering harmful habits among workers at home.

What’s the attack profile of the remote working threat?

In short, the bad guys are now attempting to acquire access to your corporate network via a VPN, or to the cloud-hosted platforms you use for work or file sharing, in order to steal and subsequently encrypt company data with ransomware as widely as possible throughout your firm. The procedures, on the other hand, are well-known.

Attempting to persuade you to engage in risky conduct via email phishing is the standard approach of convincing you to click links that bring you to malicious websites or download a malicious file to begin the infection process.

Before attackers transmit the complete ransomware payload, they steal or guess your log-ins to work email accounts, remote desktop tools (i.e., Microsoft Remote Desktop or RDP), cloud-based storage/networks, and so on. This may be done through a phishing email that is spoofing a legitimate source, or they could check for your use of specific tools and then try to guess your password.A keylogger is integrated into a new Mac malware named EvilQuest. It has the potential to intercept your workplace passwords as you enter them in. It's a two-pronged attack: first, steal the data, then encrypt it.

To leverage home networks as a stepping-stone into your corporate network, exploit weaknesses in smart home devices/routers or their easy-to-guess/crack passwords.

How can I prevent ransomware when working from home? The good news is that you, the remote worker, may take some relatively simple precautions now to help limit the new ransomware's cascading hazards to your firm. Consider the following:

Phishing emails should be avoided at all costs. However, if your employer offers training and awareness classes, take advantage of them. Maintain the newest versions of your home network firmware, PCs, Macs, mobile devices, software, browsers, and operating systems, as well as remote access tools and VPNs (your IT department may do some of this remotely). Use an up-to-date network and endpoint antivirus from a trusted provider to safeguard your home network, PCs, and mobile devices. (Anti-intrusion, anti-web threat, anti-spam, anti-phishing, and, of course, anti-ransomware elements should all be included in the solutions.)

If multi-factor authentication (MFA) is used, make sure that remote access tools and user accounts are protected, and that remote access to your home router is not possible. Disable Microsoft macros if at all possible. They're a common method of attack. Back up important files using the 3-2-1 rule on a regular basis.

How Trend Micro can help To summaries, to keep your home network and all endpoints (laptops, PCs, and mobile devices) safe from ransomware, you must safeguard your home network and all endpoints (laptops, PCs, and mobile devices). Trend Micro can assist you with this.

On desktop PCs, Trend Micro Maximum Security offers powerful protection against ransomware-related attacks. It includes Folder Shield, which protects essential data from ransomware encryption and allows it to be stored locally or synced to cloud services such as Dropbox®, Google Drive®, and Microsoft® OneDrive/OneDrive for Business.

Mobile endpoints: Trend Micro Mobile Security (also included in TMS) guards against ransomware on Android and iOS smartphones.

Secure passwords: Trend Micro Password Manager allows users to securely save and recall strong, unique passwords across numerous devices for all of their apps, websites, and online accounts.

You, the remote worker, may help close the front door to ransomware by using these solutions to safeguard your work, devices, and company from data theft and ransomware encryption.

Source:https://cyber-security-information.blogspot.com/2021/08/ransom-from-home-how-to-close-cyber.html

[missingverse]

Missing Chapter Twenty-Two

Author's note: I'm going to be a cheeky wee git and spam the link to my novel here, for a limited time you can get it for free on Kindle. I only ask that if you do, you leave an honest review afterwards. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BGSPPBY

And now, back to the angst wagon!

…..

The first Arnold knew of the story finally breaking was scrolling through clickbait websites absently while downing his breakfast, when the words SHOT IN THE HEAD AS SHE TRIED TO ESCAPE screamed across the screen of his phone. He nearly dropped it in his oatmeal.

Wasn't Plaskett supposed to warn me about this?

As soon as he recovered (somewhat), he rang Phoebe.

“I know, I saw it an hour ago,” she told him.

“Why didn't you call me?” Arnold growled, rooting around for his shoes.

“It was six am, I didn't think your grandparents would appreciate me waking up the entire house.”

“A text, then. I had to read it on fucking Pebbledash, of all places!”

“All right, I'm sorry,” she admitted. “I'm on my way to the hospital now, hopefully there won't be too many journos there yet. Can you field any questions at school?”

“You think I'm going to school?” Arnold scoffed, finding his missing shoes and stuffing his feet into them as fast as possible. “I'm getting the next bus out.”

“No, don't,” she said. “Call Plaskett, he'll give you a lift. He hasn't left yet but he said he was going in the next hour.”

“You called him but not me?”

“He called me. Stop sulking.”

…..

“There was a leak,” Plaskett admitted, grumbling into his coffee as he drove. “Some orderly at the hospital overheard the doctors talking, the press were on it like flies on shit.”

“How bad is it?” Arnold asked, bracing himself.

“Well, if she was still catatonic it would be a disaster,” Plaskett mused. “And if she hadn't made so much progress....she might even be up for a press conference. What do you think?”

“Why are you asking me? Isn't this your specialty?”

“You know her better than I do,” Plaskett shrugged. “She seems to have most of her memory back, she's in decent physical health, and her doctors haven't reported any anomalies. It's hard to know unless someone who knows her well can say she's pretty much back to normal.”

What is normal, exactly?

“I can't really say,” Arnold said, after thinking it over. “I think the only person who knows if she can get through a press conference is Helga herself. I mean, she seems fine but she was always keeping things bottled up...”

“That's what I was worried about,” Plaskett sighed. “Well, we'll just have to see....Christ, it's even worse than I thought. Bunch of vultures...”

They pulled into the hospital parking area with great difficulty, because the hospital grounds were swarming with people. Photographers, newscasters speaking to the camera with the hospital in the background, news vans with equipment shifted from space to space.

“Keep your head down and don't say anything to them,” Plaskett warned as they prepared to get out of the car. “Do you have I.D?”

“Uh, I have my student card,” Arnold answered.

“That'll do. If this place is smart, they'll have gotten in extra security.”

…..

Helga was in physiotherapy, and the nurse brought Arnold down there while Plaskett discussed the swarming press agents with the doctors.

She was wearing one of the tank tops he'd brought for her, and hospital-issue trousers. It was painful to see just how thin she was, how what little muscle she had strained as she pulled herself up on the bars to a standing position. Her jaw was clenched but she didn't make a sound.

“Don't push it,” the therapist warned. “Your body knows what it can do. Relax and breathe.”

With effort, Helga lowered herself back down into the wheelchair. She massaged her temple, just under the spot the bullet had caught.

“We'll call it a day here,” the therapist said, wheeling the chair out of the bars. “Your friend is here, he can take you back to your room.”

Helga looked up sharply, noticing Arnold for the first time.

“You caught me at a bad time,” she quipped, smoothing down her hair.

“Looked like you were doing pretty good to me,” Arnold shrugged.

Helga snorted, fidgeted in her chair.

“I'm all sweaty,” she said. “All this for two measly steps. Can you believe I used to play baseball?”

He took the handles of the wheelchair and wheeled her through the corridors, watching at the windows for any sign of a camera shutter.

“Considering you couldn't move at all for five years, I'd say two steps is good progress,” he said. “I don't think anyone would blame you if you stayed in bed forever after what you've been through.”

“No thank you,” she shuddered. “The sooner I can walk the sooner I can walk out of here.”

An icy dread trickled through Arnold's being, hearing her say that. Walk out of there to go...where exactly? Her mother was dead, her father was in jail, her sister was who knows where, and she was only sixteen. There were only so many options. At least while she was in the hospital, Arnold was sure she would be safe.

Her room was, thankfully, in the quiet wing of the hospital, away from the bubble of people near the entrance. He lifted her out of the chair and into her bed, just as Plaskett and Phoebe came in.

“Right, I've talked with both of your friends,” Plaskett began, sitting in the chair nearest the bed, looking Helga square in the eye. “They seem to think you're holding up okay, mentally at least. How do you feel?”

“Okay, I guess,” Helga shrugged.

“We can arrange a press conference for two hour's time,” he continued. “It'll give the vultures what they want, for now anyway, and they might get lost. But we'll only go forward if you want to, and we can bring the whole thing to a halt if you feel uncomfortable.”

Helga swallowed hard, clearly nervous, but she nodded.

“We can't talk in detail about what happened to you,” Plaskett warned. “No names...”

“I never knew his name anyway,” she said.

“That's a good thing, I guess. You can talk about your injuries, but no talking about who inflicted them. Say 'I was shot with a 12-gauge' rather than 'he shot me with a 12-gauge.”

“I don't know what kind of gun it was,” she said.

“Great,” Plaskett nodded. “Keep it vague. If any of the journos gets out of line, I'll shut them down. Got it?”

“I think so.”

“All right, I'll go make the arrangements. You got something to wear that's not scrubs?”

“Yes, Arnold brought me some clothes.”

“Good. Find something kind of goody-two-shoes to wear, if you can. That always plays well in the papers.”

With that, he was gone. Phoebe and Arnold exchanged worried glances; Helga sounded like she was on board, but she was visibly nervous, white and gently trembling.

“You don't have to do this,” Phoebe said. “You don't owe anyone answers.”

“No, I'd be better off getting it over with,” Helga sighed. “I need a shower. Could you call the nurse?”

…..

Helga Pataki was all anyone could talk about, in the aftermath.

She'd worn that pink blouse with the little cat heads on it with a mint-green skirt and flat ballet pumps. Phoebe had braided her hair to hang over one shoulder. It all had the effect of making her look like a strong gust of wind would blow her away.

All the same, she answered the difficult questions without flinching. She described how she had lived on raw meat, been chained to the wall and kept in a dog crate for weeks. When asked what she'd been doing in the mountains when she was taken, she answered plainly that she had a turbulent home life and the mountains was where she hid out sometimes.

She was eloquent, and spoke with clear intelligence, and the reporters lapped it up. They couldn't have asked for a more perfect victim.

At school, suddenly everyone wanted to talk to Arnold and Phoebe. Phoebe responded by skipping school; she was bright enough to miss a few days. Arnold had to put up with it all alone. It was bad enough when it was total strangers wanting to probe him for information, but most of his old friends remembered that he existed for just long enough to grill him a little extra.

“This is what you and Phoebe have been sitting on?” Rhonda said, shoving her phone in his face. “She's been alive this whole time?”

“We haven't been sitting on it,” Arnold grumbled, closing his locker and trying to walk away from her.

Her sandals clacked loudly on the linoleum; she was following him.

“Bullshit you haven't,” she snarled, right in his ear. “What are the odds I hear you and four-eyes talking about Helga and ...boom!....suddenly she's alive?”

“I know you probably won't believe this, Rhonda, but it was a huge coincidence,” Arnold sighed.

“You're right, I don't believe you,” she replied. “Four-eyes owes me an apology.”

“Well, if Phoebe owes you an apology then you owe Helga an even bigger one,” he said, turning to face her. “I can give you the hospital address, you can visit her yourself.”

Rhonda's mouth opened and closed, until she folded her arms protectively around herself, staring at the floor.

“Right, didn't think so,” Arnold quipped, pushing past her.

At home, his inbox was blowing up. People he had gotten to know on true crime forums, people who knew his connection to the case, were messaging him at a rate of three per minute. He had emails from multiple press agents. Missed calls from people who hadn't spoken to him since middle school.

He let the battery on his phone go dead and unplugged his computer. They could wait.

Olga is bound to see the news, even if the police can't track her down.

What then? Olga won't want to stay in Hillwood.

It was horribly selfish of him, but Arnold couldn't help hoping that Helga wouldn't be able to walk for a long time. Once she turned eighteen, she was free to do whatever she wanted.

…..

He didn't get a chance to visit Helga for nearly a week after the press conference, and as hoped the press at the hospital had diminished by about a quarter. The nurses greeted him as he walked around the corridors; they knew him well by now.

As he approached Helga's room, he could hear her talking with someone. Someone male: it didn't sound like one of her regular doctors, and it wasn't low and gravelly like Ambrose's voice. It wasn't Plaskett, he was in Pocaselas conferring with the police there on the Waring case load.

“...must have hit about three home runs, but poor kid couldn't run to save his life....”

It was a young man, with the easygoing relaxed tone of someone who was used to being listened to, always, no matter what he said. Someone who charmed girls effortlessly, without even knowing. Arnold opened the door and saw for himself.

Patrick Castle, movie-star-handsome in tight jeans and a loose button down shirt, was showing Helga something on his phone. She was smiling in a way Arnold had not yet seen. He felt as though he'd swallowed a large rock.

“Arnold, hi!” she called, noticing him in the doorway. Patrick looked over at him...

Was that a frown?

...and put away his phone abruptly, leaning back in his seat.

“I didn't know you were visiting today,” she said as he took the other seat in the room.

At least someone's happy to see me.

“Hey, Arnold,” Patrick said with a lazy wave and an equally lazy smile. “I was just updating Hellebelle on the goings on down at the diamond.”

The casual nickname brought out beads of cold sweat on Arnold's skin.

[beautyindisguise00]

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD?

Friday night October 16 2020 @5:50pm

1. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? Wisconsin

2. WHERE DO YOU LIVE AND FOR HOW LONG? i’ve been in wisconsin my whole life of 24 years. lived in my hometown all the way til i moved to college. after i finished college i decided to stay in the town i went to college in for work purposes

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT WHERE YOU LIVE? the different options around town of where to shop, eat, and other fun things to do

4. WHAT DID YOU LOVE THE MOST ABOUT THE TOWN YOU GREW UP IN? the lake. i love the fact that the lake was only a 5 minute drive and i was able to go there whenever i wanted. but also, the memories of the town.

5. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? not anymore

6. WHAT WAS YOUR 1ST PET’S NAME? thumperlina for my big fat brown bunny

7. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

8. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? i watch a lot of movies so i dont really have a favorite

9. FAVORITE MOVIE IN THE PAST 5 YEARS? avengers infinity war. avengars endgame, crazy rich asians, knives out, and maleficent 1 and 2

10. WHAT’S A MOVIE THAT YOU LAUGHED THE HARDEST DURING? ouf, i dont remember

11. WHAT’S A MOVIE YOU CRIED THE HARDEST DURING? avengars, crazy rich, and also while you were sleeping but that’s a drama

12. WHAT’S THE BEST-ANIMATED MOVIE EVER CREATED? the good dinosaur

13. FAVORITE TV SHOW? my two all-time favorites are one tree hill and the office

14. FAVORITE TV SHOW THAT IS CURRENTLY ON? chicago pd and fire

15. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT? olive garden?

16. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicken alfredo, really good sushi, fried rice, curry

17. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD? any seafood --> shrimp, oysters, clams

18. WHAT TOPPINGS DO YOU GET ON YOUR PIZZA? pineapple and ham. hahaha yes, im that kind of person

19. FAVORITE BEVERAGE? coffee, strawberry lemondae

20. FAVORITE DESSERT? cheesecake or red velvet cake

21. IS THERE A DESSERT YOU DON’T LIKE? pumpkin pie

22. CAKE OR PIE? cake!

23. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? mackinaw island fudge, mint chocolate chip, strawberry cheesecake

24. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CONDIMENT? honey mustard

25. WHAT DO YOU GET FOR BRUNCH? crepes with nutella and strawberries

26. IT’S 4 AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT, WHAT DO YOU EAT? fried noodles with two poached eggs

27. WHAT ONE THING DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR FRIDGE AT ANY GIVEN TIME? eggs

28. WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE EVER EATEN? duck and this one indian thing i dont remember

29. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BAND? one direction and tenth avenue north

30. FAVORITE SOLO ARTIST? liam payne, harry styles, niall horan, louis tomlinson, zayn malik. hahaha and ed sheeran, halsey, 

31. FAVORITE NONLIVING MUSICIAN? --

32. FAVORITE LYRICS? “and if the whole world was watching, i’d still dance with you” “baby im falling. head over heels. looking for ways to let you know just how i feel”

33. FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIME? theres no way i could choose

34. FAVORITE ALBUM? again ^^

35. WHAT’S THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? currently singing like to the “while you were sleeping” ost  right now “it’s you” by henry

36. IF YOUR LIFE WERE A SONG WHAT WOULD THE TITLE BE? beauty in disguise 

37. WHAT SONG WOULD YOU PROBABLY BE CAUGHT DANCING ALONE TO? any of my current favorites right now

38. IF YOU COULD SING A DUET WITH SOMEBODY WHO WOULD IT BE? halsey. that would be so cool

39. IF YOU COULD MASTER ONE INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE? guitar 

40. WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO KARAOKE SONG? ugh, i hate karaoke 

41. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING OR THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? probably back when i was rereading one of the “to all the boys i’ve loved” trilogy 

42. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU PLAN ON READING? prayer by tim keller. i just ordered it online and it should be coming in on monday

43. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS READING IT? twilight series. haha

44. WHAT’S A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT POSITIVELY SHAPED YOU? mhmm...i dont remember. not that it posititive shaped me but the great gatsby was really interesting. also, when i was student teaching, i read number the stars with my kids and it was a great historical fiction book to read

45. WHAT’S A BOOK IN SCHOOL THAT YOU HATED? i didnt hate it, but there was this one book we read in ap lit and as a project, my friends made the movie version of it

46. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? to all the boys trilogies 

47. WHAT’S A BOOK YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN? ^^

48. DARK CHOCOLATE OR MILK CHOCOLATE? i like both but if i had to choose, then dark

49. UNDERWATER OR OUTER SPACE? underwater like in a submarine or something were i knew i was safe

50. DOGS OR CATS? dogs for sure

51. KITTENS OR PUPPIES? ohh, puppies of course 

52. DOLPHINS OR KOALAS? dolphins! i really wanted to swim with dolphins when i was in florida but it didnt work out in our schedule 

53. BIRD WATCHING OR WHALE WATCHING? whale watching

54. WHAT IS YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL? i dont really know. probably a sea otter. haha theyre so chill and they stick around with their peeps 

55. TO BE OR NOT TO BE? aint that the question to be answered

56. IPHONE OR ANDROID? iphone

57. TWITTER OR INSTAGRAM? insta

58. VINE OR SNAPCHAT? snap. i never had a vine but i remember watching a few vines. well i guess tik tok is the new vine now

59. WHO SHOULD EVERYONE BE FOLLOWING RIGHT NOW? Jesus. haha kidding not kidding

60. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE APP? WEBSITE? probably youtube

61. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych 

62. WHAT WAS YOUR BEST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? psych and math 

63. WHAT WAS YOUR WORST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? ap lit 

64. WHAT SUBJECT WOULD YOU TEACH IN SCHOOL? psych or a lower level math class 

65. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU KNEW IN HIGH SCHOOL? enjoy what you love doing as much as you can

66. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOURSELF AT 13? girl, be confident. you are beautiful. you are smart. and you are enough. dont worry about what others think and dont worry about the future because i got you. 

67. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′0

68. WHO IS YOUR FASHION ICON? eh, no one really

69. WHAT’S YOU FAVORITE FASHION TREND? well since right now is fall, i really like long cardigan with cute booties 

70. WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU ALWAYS HAVE IN YOUR BAG (BESIDES PHONE AND WALLET)? phone charger, hand sanitizer, and a mask. haha oh covid days

71. WHAT IS A CURRENT TREND YOU HOPE DOESN’T EXIST IN 100 HUNDRED YEARS? masks

72. WHAT’S YOUR MUST HAVE FASHION ACCESSORY? eyebrows done? haha my clothing fashion is pretty simple so i dont really have accessories but maybe a watch i guess 

73. HEELS OR FLATS? depends. on a day to day then flats but for special occasions then heels

74. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? eh, i guess i like both 

75. BLOW-DRY OR AIR-DRY? usually air dry unless i need to be ready asap

76. WHAT COLOR DRESS DID YOU WEAR TO PROM? i didnt really attend my high school dances. my first and last hs dance was homecoming and that was only because i was on the homecoming court. i wore a red strapless dress

77. FAVORITE COCKTAIL? sex on the beach, mimosas, strawberry daiquiris, margaritas 

78. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER AT STARBUCKS? white chocolate mocha. either hot or iced depending on the weather 

79. COFFEE OR TEA? coffee. i tried to drink more tea but i always resort back to coffee. haha

80. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR COFFEE? i usually make my coffee at home. i just put in a mocha or caramel kcup then add in creamer. some days i’ll add in half and half or some chocolate/caramel syrup

81. WHO IS A PERSON YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? megan markle. odd but why not 

82. WHAT HISTORICAL FIGURE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE COFFEE WITH? general vang pao

83. IF YOU COULD LIVE IN ANY HISTORICAL DECADE, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHERE? probably the 90s

84. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COUNTRY TO VISIT? havent left mine yet. haha

85. WHAT’S THE LAST COUNTRY YOU VISITED? my own. haha

86. WHAT’S A COUNTRY YOU WISH TO VISIT? somewhere in the east. maybe like france or italy or korea or taiwan

87. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE STATE TO VISIT? florida

88. WHAT’S THE LAST STATE YOU VISITED? michigan

89. WHAT’S A STATE YOU WISH TO VISIT? colorado, new york, california 

90. WHAT’S THE BEST VACATION SPOT? bora bora! ouuu someday for me i hope!

91. WHERE DOES ONE GO ON A PERFECT ROAD TRIP? honestly, anywhere. just gather your friends, pack up, stock up, and drive

92. FAVORITE CITY? right now, probably orlando 

93. PILATES OR YOGA? i like both but if i had to choose then yoga

94. JOGGING OR SWIMMING? swimming!

95. FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? ugh, at home

96. LEAST FAVORITE WAY TO WORKOUT? at the gym lifting weight. i always feel so awkward

97. BEST WAY TO DECOMPRESS? shower, then dinner and movie in bed with a glass of wine

98. WHAT’S THE BEST FIRST DATE IDEA? dinner and a drive to a fun spot

99. WHAT’S LOVE? genuine love towards someone regardless of their flaws, always

100. MAJOR TURN ON? neck kisses, vlines, touching

101. MAJOR TURN OFF? bad hygiene, rudeness, cockiness

102. WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING A GUY HAS DONE OR SAID TO TRY AND IMPRESS YOU? stalk my facebook and screen shot my old posts and send them to me OR ignoring my non-subtle hints that i have a boyfriend and do not want to hangout alone to “netflix and chill”

103. WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE WHEN YOU MEET THEM? their smile and personality and how they made me feel

104. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? nah

105. BEST GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED? im not really a big gift person but my mom gave me a micheal kors winter jacket

106. LAST GIFT YOU GAVE A FRIEND? i bought some baby shower gifts to my boyfriend’s brother and sister-in-law’s baby, baby Grace :)

107. BEST GIFT TO GET FOR SOMEONE? like a generic gift? probably wine or a watch depending on the occasion 

108. WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU’VE EVER HAD? my boyfriend coming to visit me last christmas because i was so stress out and i thought we were suppose to meet up around christmas but he had his own plans that i was not aware of which then made me even more stress when i found out his plans but overall it was a very nice surprise and definitely helped me destress afterwards

109. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? white

110. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? probably brown

111. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF FLOWER? i dont think i have one

112. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN? dont have one either 

113. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ACTION STAR? chris evans, tom holland

114. BEST SUPERHERO CREATED? captain america

115. IF YOU HAD ONE SUPERPOWER WHAT WOULD IT BE? to teleport 

116. WHAT’S YOUR KRYPTONITE? too much snow. haha

117. BIGGEST PHOBIA? deep waters and heights

118. FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? dont have one 

119. FAVORITE DISNEY CHARACTER? ^^

120. FAVORITE HOLIDAY? christmas

121. WHAT’S YOUR BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME? a dead bride. haha

122. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PLOT-TWIST? whenever my favorite characters in a tv show gets killed off

123. IF YOU COULD DO A FLASH-MOB WHERE WOULD IT BE? new york, like how cliche and iconic that would be

124. WHAT’S THE COOLEST THING IN YOUR BEDROOM? my pineapple lamp

125. IF YOU GOT A TATTOO WHERE WOULD IT BE? probably on my side or somewhere on my arm

126. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CURSE WORD? shiiiiiiiiiit

127. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? exploding kittens not really a board game but close enough

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

The Final Deception by Heather Graham

New York Confidential #5

Coming into this series on book five shouldn’t have worked but it did. I have enjoyed this author’s work before and was happy to read a new-to-me book by her again.

Craig Frasier is an FBI agent and his fiance sometimes does pysch consultations for the FBI. In this book Craig is still having nightmares about the tough case of THE FIREMAN and Kieran Finnegan, Craig’s fiance, has just interviewed The Fireman a little while before he escapes from prison. About the time he escapes another murder following the same modus operandi takes place and all of New York is soon intently watching the news to find out what will happen next. Is this a copycat murder or did The Fireman do it?

In addition to the catch-him-if-you-can thread there is the ongoing romance between Craig and Kieran and if/when they will get married, the sibling support of the Finnegan family for one another, the police procedural aspects of solving the murder, the suspense of wondering who might be following Kieran and the question of Ruff the dog and where he will end up in the future.

This was an interesting read that might have been more interesting had I come in on book one and read the four books preceding this one because I would have known the main and supporting characters better than I did going into book five. That said, I still knew them well enough to enjoy the story.

What I liked:

* Kieran: Smart, intuitive, puzzle solver, not clingy, a good sister and fiance and very likable

* Craig: Intelligent, driven, keen to solve cases, not too clingy, a good boyfriend, dependable and bit hearted.

* The relationship between Kieran and Craig – they were mature, knew what they wanted and allowed one another the independence and distance needed to accomplish the goals of their profession.

* The Finnegan brothers – I am sure there is more to each and every one of them that I would love to know.

* Ruff – a scrappy fellow that landed in clover

* Following the threads that lead to the WHO and WHY of the murders

* The twist or two at the end

* The good thwarted evil

What I did not like:

* The psychotic puppet master and those he pulled the strings of

Did I enjoy this book? Yes

Would I read more in this series/by this author? Yes

Thank you to NetGalley, Harper Collins and Harlequin-Mira for the ARC – This is my honest review.

4.5 Stars

BOOK SUMMARY

Witness the thrilling conclusion to the beloved New York Confidential series, in THE FINAL DECEPTION (MIRA Books; March 31, 2020; $26.99). Kieran and Craig are about to take on their most chilling case yet as they hunt for a deranged serial killer who has escaped from prison to satisfy his need to kill again.

When criminal psychologist Kieran Finnegan was released from her responsibility of counseling the brutal serial killer known as The Fireman, once he was incarcerated, she was relieved to escape the tendrils of his twisted inner world. The chill she received from her sessions with him has stayed with her despite trying to leave him in the past. However, some demons refuse to remain behind bars. When her FBI agent boyfriend Craig is called to a gruesome crime scene that matches The Fireman’s MO, news begins to spread that he’s escaped from prison.

And he remembers Kieran...

Amid a citywide manhunt, Kieran and Craig need to untangle a web of deceit, privilege, and greed. They suspect that those closest to the killer have been drawn into his evil, or else someone is using another man’s madness and cruelty to disguise their crimes. When their investigation brings the danger right to the doorstep to the once safe haven of Finnegan’s Pub, Kieran and Craig will have to be smarter and bolder than ever before, because this time it’s personal, and they have everything to lose.

THE FINAL DECEPTION

Author: Heather Graham

ISBN: 9780778309437

Publication Date: March 31, 2020

Publisher: MIRA Books

Buy Links:

Harlequin

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Books-A-Million

Powell’s

EXCERPT

PROLOGUE

CRAIG FRASIER BREATHED IT IN BEFORE HE COULD STOP himself; the bloodcurdling scent of burning flesh.

Human flesh.

Flames still skittered over the body—an accelerant had been used. As he stood there in the small dark alley, he heard others rushing in: Mike Dalton, his partner, and patrol officers. He heard the sirens; the fire department was coming.

But there was no saving this victim.

Craig was already tamping the fire out; an extinguisher would make the work of the medical examiner more difficult.

But he knew what the medical examiner would find.

The victim had been strangled, then the tongue had been cut out. And then the eyes had been gouged out. Death had occurred, mercifully, before the fire had been set.

The corpses haunted his dreams. Burned shells, some flesh and soft tissue remaining, charred and clinging to the bones, mummy-like. The mouth in the blackened skull was agape, and those empty, soulless eye sockets seemed to be staring up, as if they could still see, as if they stared at him in reproach…

Why hadn’t they caught the killer sooner?

He heard a rustling sound. Looking across the alley, Craig saw a shadow moving. Leaving the corpse to others, he took off like a bullet. He pursued the moving shadow at a run…running and running for blocks. The city was a blur around him.

He reached apartments on Madison, with a coffee shop and a dress store on the first floor, just as the gate at the street entry to the residential units above was closing. He caught the gate, and he reached the elevator in time to see what floor it stopped on. He followed.

And again, as he arrived, a door was just closing; he didn’t let it close.

And there he was: the Fireman, still smelling faintly of gasoline, ready to sit down to a lovely dinner with his family. About to say a prayer before the meal…just a husband and a father, and a man who looked at Craig and calmly said, “So, my work is over. But I have obeyed the commandments given me, and I will go with you.”

Why did you take so long? The corpse again! In Craig’s dreams, the corpse was back, animated, flying at him like a ghostly banshee, issuing a silent scream.

Craig opened his eyes.

He didn’t awake screaming or startled—he didn’t jerk up. It was almost as if he always knew it was a dream, reliving the day the Fireman had gone down.

He’d had the dream several times before. But, now, it seemed as though it had been a long time. Weeks. He’d thought he’d ceased experiencing it altogether. He’d been doing all the right things: quietly seeing a Bureau shrink a few times, following their advice. He hadn’t told Kieran Finnegan, his fiancée, about his recurring nightmare, and while she was a criminal psychologist working with two of the city’s finest criminal psychiatrists, he’d made a point of not telling her or her bosses.

He’d thought he’d settled it on his own. It was a little strange and sometimes intimidating being in love with someone who studied the human psyche, and he hadn’t wanted Kieran worried about him or trying to analyze him.

Why the hell had the dream come back?

He felt Kieran shift against him. He pulled her into his arms and she rolled, crystal eyes opening wide when she realized that he was awake.

And aroused. Kieran’s tangle of auburn hair was a wild mass around her face, emphasizing her eyes and the quick smile that came to her lips.

“Ah!” she murmured, feeling his arousal against her.

“Your fault,” he accused.

“Well, thankfully. What time is it?” she asked with a soft whisper.

He laughed. “Quickie time, or time for a quickie,” he said.

Her smile deepened, and there was something so sensual about it that it never failed to increase whatever he had begun to feel.

In her arms, in the liquid burn of kisses here and there strategically placed, in the swift—and intense—blaze of arching and writhing and thrusting, all else faded.

After, Craig headed for the shower. He was an FBI agent in the Criminal Division of New York City’s branch of the FBI. He could be satisfied in having brought down several killers. But there would be more; a sad fact of the world and humanity. He was blessed to have his job, his vocation, and it was time to go to work.

He shoved the dream into the back of his mind.

Whatever his day held, he’d already seen the worst that this world could offer.

Little did he know.

AUTHOR BIO:

Heather Graham is The New York Times and USA Today best-selling author sold her first book, When Next We Love, in 1982 and since then, she has written over two hundred novels and novellas with about 60 million books in print in categories of romantic suspense, historical romance, vampire fiction, time travel, occult, and Christmas holiday fare. Graham earned high praise for her New York Confidential series, including a starred review from Library Journal which called it, “Intricate, fast-paced, and intense, this riveting thriller blends romance and suspense in perfect combination and keeps readers guessing and the tension taut until the very end.” For more information, visit her at TheOriginalHeatherGraham.com.

Social Links:

Author Website

Twitter: @HeatherGraham

Instagram: @TheOriginalHeatherGraham

Facebook: @HeatherGrahamAuthor

Goodreads

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by Pat Henry on The Prepper Journal.

With much of the U.S. finding itself in increasing lockdowns due to the Coronavirus and COVID-19, and many countries in a complete lockdown, we thought this article from 2014 would be worth re-publishing. We’re still seeing a lot of people who are ignoring basic self-distancing protocols and espousing a “government can’t tell me what to do.” I agree that government overreach has the real potential for getting bad, but voluntarily choosing to stay home or isolate is a much different scenario than the government imposing martial law. The first is OK, the second abhorrent. With food availability possibly becoming an issue, what we don’t want is the government to be another obstacle in our wish to survive. Be safe. Wash your hands. — Pat

The news has been almost completely focused on Ebola for the last couple of weeks and information outlets are pouring out details by the minute. This type of event is what the 24-Hour news cycle was created for and pundits on every side are breathlessly announcing news, interviewing witnesses and experts and showing hour after hour of footage of hospitals, people in yellow gowns, nitrile gloves and face-masks. It is enough to make a sane person crazy and it is a sober reminder to preppers everywhere that precautions for events like this are valid, prudent and perhaps in some of our cases, just in the nick of time.

Well, the Prepper Journal audience is full of sane people. I believe that most people who call themselves preppers are focused on taking simple logical steps to ensure the safety of their closest loved ones. It makes sense to pay attention to the news and shore up any supply needs that you might have. I believe it is very wise to keep an eye on the events in Dallas and elsewhere in the world in the event that this virus does grow outside of the limited scope that we have seen so far in the US at least.

When it is all said and done, this “outbreak” which isn’t really an outbreak at all here thankfully could end up disappearing from the news just as quickly as it came. Of course, it could also grow more serious. We aren’t clear exactly how Ebola is transmitted although very smart people are saying that it is hard to catch. So far, I am inclined to believe them only for the primary reason that we only have 3 cases at this time. Should that change I will be prepared to act and I am not going to relax simply because experts tell me not to be alarmed. I am not alarmed, but I am watching events closely as I am sure the rest of you are as well.

Self-Quarantine to reduce exposure risk

If Ebola does start to become a larger problem; if we begin to see a spike in cases, one possible option for limiting your exposure could be as simple as staying home.  Self-Quarantine is the practice of taking yourself out of the world so to speak to avoid contact with others completely. This is pretty much bugging in by definition. The NBC News crew that returned from reporting on Ebola had their cameraman test positive for Ebola so they agreed to Self Quarantine themselves to eliminate exposure to the public for the recommended incubation period of up to 21 days. In the case of Dr. Nancy Snyderman, this proved too long and soon they were caught out at a local restaurant which led to a huge public outcry and a weak apology from the doctor.

I won’t argue that staying in quarantine for up to 21 days would be very difficult, especially if you were alone, but if things do turn worse we might all be better off staying indoors. If Ebola cases increase substantially, we might not have a choice if Executive Order 13295 is put into action. 13295 allows for the “apprehension, detention, or conditional release of individuals to prevent the introduction, transmission, or spread of suspected communicable diseases.” Would you rather stay in your home and ride out the Ebola event or wherever the government wants to stick you? If you were faced with voluntary or involuntary quarantine to protect your family from Ebola, what would you need to consider?

Corona virus illustration

Infrastructure for Self Quarantine

Not surprisingly, the CDC website has a lot of information about quarantine mostly from the viewpoint of the SARS epidemic back in 2003, but I believe the concepts and topics are still just as relevant if your goal is to reduce or eliminate possible exposure to infected individuals. Major infrastructure considerations for self-quarantine are:

Communication Options – Telephone, cell phones, Ham Radio to keep in touch with others outside of your home. Shortwave radio is another good option assuming the regular lines of communication are down.

Electricity – In a grid up scenario this should be fine, but if the grid goes down, do you have enough electricity for up to 21 days of isolation?

Heat Source – Winter is approaching so a plan to keep warm is important. I have Kerosene Heaters and plenty of stored fuel but I would personally need to augment my supply for very cold conditions. Right now, cold isn’t a factor, but 21 days without power in January would be tougher.

Potable Water – A core element of any prepper supply list is to have water on hand. Enough water for one gallon per person per day. If you have a family of 4 and are forced into quarantine from Ebola for 21 days that would be 84 gallons of water at a minimum.

Waste and Sanitation – As long as the utilities are functioning this shouldn’t be a problem, but if the crisis explodes (no pun intended) you may not have city water to fill the toilets so alternate accommodations would need to be made. Grid down sanitation options are one possibility but would require you to go outside if the water and sewer lines were out of commission.

Food – Do you have enough food to last for 21 days for your entire family? Again, with society still functioning I guess you could have neighbors bring food over but you wouldn’t want to be going to the grocery store.

Entertainment – 21 days in your home is a long time. 21 days cooped up with your family is an eternity in the most easy going and loving homes. You should have a plan to counter boredom if you want to preserve your sanity along with your health.

Accommodations for Self Quarantine

If you are limiting your exposure as a family unit and by that I mean if everyone in your family is together in this then you can go on living (with certain exceptions) as you were although you wouldn’t be going outside. Would you stop your mail or risk exposure by touching something that another individual had contacted?

I am sure that it depends somewhat on the nature of any potential Ebola outbreak. It could be that the current convention that you must come in contact with bodily fluids from infected people in order to contract the disease holds. If that were the case, you could probably safely move about your yard, but quarantine does mean your trips to the malls, movie theaters, school events, plays, sporting events, hospital visits to sick friends would all be out of the question.

Could you work from home? – In today’s environment there are many of us who could work from home full time. As long as I had internet, power and a cell phone I could work anywhere in the world. Online meetings will probably be more common if travel is restricted during any outbreak. Actually, that would be fine with me too as the last place I would want to be during any kind of disease outbreak is at an airport or any place away from home really.

Could your children do schoolwork at home? – This would be tough for some but I imagine that a lot of schools would have to offer concessions in the case of quarantine. Certainly if the government locked everything down schools would either forgive homework or lean on online systems that are largely in place already. We still have one child that is home-schooled so she wouldn’t get out of anything, but another already gets her assignments online so staying out wouldn’t be a huge burden.

How would you pay your bills? – As long as we have money in the accounts, almost all of our bills except my weekly tithe are done electronically. If that goes down we have bigger problems.

Provided you had running water, power and a job that would allow you to stay home you should only need food to survive outside of climatic extremes. Take all of that away though and your self-imposed quarantine could still save your life, but it would be much harder. Again this assumes that Ebola will always and only be passed from bodily fluids. In this case self-quarantine to reduce exposure should be doable for most people with even basic preparations. Let’s hope we don’t see anything worse.

The post What is Your Self-Quarantine Plan? appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[talesbytalz]

Hi, Everyone …so first of all a big big thanks to each one of you for making my last blog post a huge success.

Jab bhi I wake up in the morning and see the notification that my blog stats are booming, I feel supercharged and motivated. All Thanks to my lovely audience!

I am sure you know from the statement above that when I wake up my bed tea is in the form of mobile notifications, this is something which can help you know me better!

Now see, when you are about to get into a relationship or even into a work set-up, your debut step should be to know your partner better. The sone-pe suhaga factor here would be if you know the partner inside out from their likes to passions and how they are to others?

These are some the things that would help your relation get better and eventually you would know how to behave and make decisions around them.

This is what gave me the idea of using my class#2 assignment from the DigitalDeepak internship into something, I yearn to see every time.

  For me my customer or as I like to call them, my audience is my bhaagyewaan 🙂 No other way can there be to know them better.

Hence, I decided to seize this opportunity and find out more about my audience to understand them better and hence deliver content which they love and wish to see.

  So, here I am chef Talz – yours truly, sharing the recipe of finding Your Customer Avatar, aur jee Haan, ye ekdum cooking-shooking style me hee hone wala hai 🙂

Are you ready? Chalo Chalte Hain ye dish prepare karne at our Kitchen aka our Laptops or the mobile, jis se Abhi you are reading this post.

BRAINSTORM

To make the best customer avatar you would first need to ask yourself the following questions?

What’s there in your ration stock?

Here you have to find out what all skills you have and what you need to buy. Here buy would refer to what all skills you need to learn more without which you cant make the recipe.

E.g. I am a content creator and say I have a mobile phone with a decent camera, but I would need to learn some SEO and marketing skills without which I cant target my audience, or maybe I have the skills but lack equipment say I would need a good mic.

which brings us to the next question

What all can I make with the ration stock?

and what all services and offerings you can provide.

E.g. If you are a singer, then singing is your skill and you can provide songs, lyrics, playback singings etc.

  Who will be my consumer?

Once you know what you can offer, then the pitch is set right to know who are your target consumers. Just like you decide your recipe in the kitchen, by figuring out who will consume it based upon their likes and tastes.

So, now that all questions are answered, its time to write down the ingredient list for the Perfect Customer Avatar Recipe

INGREDIENTS:

Set of Questions – Min. 5 Max 20

Flowchart to depict the flow of questions – Optional but handy

Set of images in sync with questions – Optional

Open your website/social media 

Any survey creating tool, I used Typeform

PROCESS

Chopping:

First, we need to chop out of the unnecessary questions from our survey questionnaire and add all the rest to our pan where the survey form is steeping.

Cooking :

Now that our ingredients i.e the questions are ready, we need to follow the flowchart to add all the questions sequentially making a sense and also adding curiosity in the customer’s mind to move to the next question and not quit in between.

Here, a tip would be to add a logic jump, which means any particular answer could make the rest of the questions or few of them irrelevant for the person and thus those can be skipped and save mutual time.

Here is an example of the same:

Adding Spices & Salt:

try to add some personal touch that resonates with your business or your’s and your customer’s persona, swad-anusaar. But hey don’t make it too salty or spicey! Else koi nahi samjh payega aapka agenda!

I would suggest adding your persona to the multiple-choice questions

Tadka Garnishing:

Now, its time to garnish our recipe with some tadka of Images, although this is optional, as you might be well aware with my Instagram, I love taking pictures, toh iska tadka toh banta hai!

Test & Taste:

Being a QA Engineer, I know the importance of testing before delivering, hence it’s important for you to trial test the form and also previews before making others taste your recipe. Dekho Kahin bhool chook na reh gayi ho! It’s always better to be safe than sorry!

Plating and Culinary Arts:

So, now that our dish is ready, it’s time to Publish and share the survey questionnaire to first your very close mates, as they would pilot test and tell you how did they find it.

Another tip I would add here , and i.e just like you would decorate with some culinary arts , before publishing do change the default form name and the metadata , for a good aesthetics. 

  I was lucky that my kind friends told me a few suggestions and bugs which I corrected. After their green flag, share it with the world on your social media or website and get your responses.

Wait For the Feedback:

Now that everything was done, I was waiting for the responses and so much in the excitement that I kept refreshing the page to see the number of responses pouring in.

Deciphering the results:

How to define your target audience?

Demographics

Now, although I should have added a multiple-choice in the cities but since my audience is from different parts of the world, I added a long text option and along with this the language they speak because we all know that a way to your audience is when you speak their lingo, they connect and relate well.

Also another interesting fact, all my audience uses mobiles to consume content 🙂

Psychographics

Questions like what do they do as soon as they wake up give me an idea on how active audience they are, and a way to add good news through a story in their morning notifications as most people said, which I got to know through the following

What time do they love to consume content and which platform are they most active, would help me a lot in scheduling my content at the right time when my audience is consuming it. Because as they say strike the iron when it’s hot!

Another thing that would help me is knowing the gender and marital status, which would help me add tips for active seekers 😉 I did not add the age column as that I can very well guess from the marital status 😉 See I am a bit smart that way 😀

And the most important aspect for me, is what platforms they are most active on and which kind of content do they enjoy the most? This was a revelation indeed!

The Ultimate Revelation

Unveiling the Ideal Customer Avatar

So Finally Ladies & Gentlemen, hold your breath cause now I know who my Ideal Customer Avatar is :

A married aspirational workaholic (because i visited each respondent’s profile) 

who lives Delhi , Mumbai & Bangalore mainly in India ,

loves speaking Hindi.

Does not like to wake up to mobile notifications ,

and is mainly a content consumer than a creator

enjoys lifestyle and fitness content the most along with technology , motivation, travel and comedy as well

 vlogs , blogs stories and memes are consumed the most having appealing content and videos

on watsapp, facebook, instagram and Youtube  between 8pm to 10pm

loves to shop and travel which means they would acknowledge respective content ,

seeking happiness and motivation to achieve goals in life.

Phew!! can’t tell you how relieved I feel, aisa lag raha hai jaise koi khazana mil gaya ho, Kaise bayan Karu ye Khushi 🙂

Now a piece of good news was most respondents love to watch and read my content, which is such a bliss, and I don’t think I will be able to sleep tonight after this out of happiness.

But hey! , if you have not yet joined the bandwagon of Ohh-so-me-ness, then please do and let’s stay connected.

                Recipe to find your ideal customer avatar Hi, Everyone ...so first of all a big big thanks to each one of you for making my last blog post a huge success.

[explosionmarketing-blog]

Nyrie Roos- In 2020 Where Business Strategy Flows, Business Grows

“Having a business without a strategy in 2020, is like throwing mud at a wall and hoping something sticks… Are you riding this rollercoaster!” 

Actually, the real question is, do you have a strategy that delivers automated, targeted and relevant traffic that converts into sales for you? That’s the whole point of your business and market presence… right? To make some sales in the background while you’re doing what you do best and were trained to do. Be that running a Pharmacy, a Financial Planning business, a Dental Practice, a Physio Practice…whatever it is.

First things first…you need to start with a unique strategy that is individualized for your goals and your business. Once you have this, then you can move forward with the next steps in this article.

Right now, the cheapest traffic you can send to your business is gained by talking to people and hoping they remember to come back and visit your website and online presence. I figure you can reach about 8 people a day in person, maybe you can cold call more from the yellow pages, maybe you can do talks to a group of people every now and then. It takes time and a lot of effort but it is free and thus the cheapest. Assuming your time’s worth nothing of course and after all…you don’t even know that they are your customers or that they are “qualified” customers.

Where Targeted Traffic Flows, Business Grows

What if I said, there are business owners out there reaching 100’s of thousands of people and sending them to their site for around 8cents a visitor? I’m talking about something that is the same as to you standing in the middle of the biggest stadium that exists, right in the middle and everyone seeing and hearing your message, with their phones in their hands and, you only pay if they visit your website.

But not just anyone…these are all one of you target market avatar.

Imagine if your staff were standing at the entry, analysing everyone who approached and only let people into the stadium if they’re exactly the same as your customers, so the whole place is filled with people who are most likely to buy from you. They are pretty well “qualified” leads.

Imagine even further, that you can tag everyone who does visit and continue communicating with them without needing their email address.

They just have to set foot on your website. Sound too good to be real?

This Is Real and It’s called Social Media Pay per Click (PPC).

Have you heard of it? Do you stand firm in your belief that you dislike it? Well that doesn’t matter, because a lot of your target market has it, they love it, and that’s where they’re hanging out to the tune of 1 Billion daily active users. So even if you don’t use it, your prospective customers do, and you really need to have a presence there. Period.

But who has the time or energy to think of 3 things to post every day to add to the noise? Not me and not you, I’d hazard a guess. Even if you did, Facebook changed the rules a long time ago to say that they won’t show your posts to just anyone, unless you pay for it.

But before you lose your cool about it being a cost of doing business now, remember emails aren’t free either. You have to pay for a system to send them each month. Not that anyone reads emails anymore either, even if they do get through the filters. Let’s face it, most people’s inboxes are like a bad nightmare.

What you might not know is that Facebook is still in the golden age when it comes to cost. Remember when Google clicks were 5c each? Now they’re like $7 or often, even more. Done right, Facebook ad campaigns are still very cheap. Ridiculously cheap. You can attract and nurture a person twice for less than the cost of a postage stamp.

"So for promoting your website and what you offer, social media PPC can be the cheapest and best way to say you’re open for business without being chained to your computer. Don't discount Google Adwords though, it's all about planning and strategy...identifying the mix that will give you the greatest ROI AND not applying a "cookie-cutter" approach to your business."  

The Problem

There is a catch (of course). Learning social media PPC takes time and effort and when you finally get it, it changes drastically. It’s a full-time job. Plus if you’re not efficient at it, you can blow through your cash really easily and still be no closer to your objective.

“I’ll just boost some posts,” “I’ll set up an ad on LinkedIn,” “I’ll get started getting leads on Instagram,” and so it goes on... You can, but unless you have the plan and strategy covered first, and you know what you're doing, that’s the shortcut to suck you dry. Would you jump in a plane and just start flying expecting to take off and land it safely?

What you really need to do is to outsource the grunt work to someone else who knows what they’re doing for less than the cost of doing it yourself, if you’re smart. Does it really make sense to burn up your cash and time?

The Solution

Find a team, like us, of trained advertising experts whose job it is to send quality traffic to you, but that’s not where it ends. They need to have the ability to:

Attract relevant prospects who want to share your message with their friends

Collect everyone who visits your whole website and specific pages

Increase your page fans with people likely to buy from you (not just for the numbers)

Nurture people who are interested in you

Train your social media PPC campaigns into targeting your perfect leads so the longer it runs for the better it gets

Analyse your current clients and find people who look like them to within close or 1% similarity

Create a list of people without needing their email addresses

Convert people into sales, leads, bums on seats, whatever your objective is

How It Works

You need to build a series of “recipes” that can be followed.

You can choose from:

Generating leads

Sell an event (anything that people turn up to, eg live, webinars, seminars)

Sell a product

Sell a service

Each recipe has a list of marketing assets or “ingredients” that you’re going to need. For example:

Blog post urls

Landing pages

Thank you pages

Social media accounts

Social media pages

Images

Videos

Ecommerce pages

Anywhere you want us to deliver people

You then make a social media post out of the ingredients and deliver it to your target market. Then, keep an eye on it too and make sure it’s being monitored.

If you want to add anything extra to the recipe or need to fill in the gaps, just let us know.

About Nyrie Roos

As an ex-Corporate Health Leader who was born in Australia, has a background in successful business startups, has a Masters in Business Administration.

Nyrie has a strong reputation for being Australia’s leading expert on contemporary sales and marketing strategies for business, and mentors and coaches clients in developing profit and growth generating business strategies. He has presented to thousands of business owners and marketers both nationally and internationally on the power of getting the foundations right in their business first and then growing their business as an asset for their future.

Nyrie Roos is the founder of Success Stream and Explosion Marketing, a mother, wife, health-conscious, speaker, presenter and Christian. Nyrie is passionate about sharing her firsthand knowledge of how to harness the true potential of business growth via events, masterclasses and workshops. She doesn’t just talk the talk, she walks the walk – daily. She actively reviews Client campaigns every day and her clients constantly generate 3 to 10 times return on investment developing, implementing and scaling strategies.

[littlebitlizbit]

Tinker... Where do I begin? With his spirit, his sass? His grumble meow, or his cooing purr? The crook at the top of his long broken tail, or his blown out oracle eye? There are so many feelings and emotions that his name brings up, and I hope that I have the words to get them out right...

So right, where do I begin? I guess at the beginning.

About two and a half years ago my household lost one of our cats to old age. Our other cat, Rufus, was never a huge fan of his late sibling, but he was still used to anothers cat’s company. I wanted to bring him in a new friend, but knew that financially it would be a stretch. I have a rare genetic disorder that gets in the way of full time work, and vet bills, especially for older cats, tend to add up... but still, Ruffie needed a companion.

I started to look online at some of the various animal rescues around the lower mainland, and stumbled across Katie’s Place. It is a no kill cat rescue, that offers a unique option for those looking to adopt.

It’s called the Permanent Foster Program. This program exists to get the most in need cats into a household asap. It applies to the senior cat’s, in Kate’s Place care, that have non life threatening issues. The hardest part about adopting out older cats is people’s concerns over vet bills, and this is where Katie’s place differs from most shelters... They work with vets who continue to see the cats for the remainder of their lives, and Katie’s Place covers any fees or medication costs.

I started looking through their cats available for adoption gallery, and finding out which ones were available for the PM program. There were at least three that could have been a good fit, so a friend and I headed out on one of their open house days to meet the candidates.

I remember thinking how smart of a set up they had, to house the rescues in a comfortable way. You pass through a safety gate and into a comfortably lit portable, with rooms running down either side of the hall, each with an connected covered patio. Instantly we were greeted by the “hall cats.” We entered the first room, that comfortably housed about 6 rescues. One of the PF cats was sleeping in her bed, and she perked up as I put my arm near her bed. She was a beauty white fluffy girl, who was sweet, but wasn’t a fan of other cats, so not the best fit. As we popped in and out of the rooms, I had my eye out for one named Smigeon, a black fluffy guy who sounded chill on the website. He was in one of the rooms towards the back, on the porch, a volunteer informed me. On the way through to him, my eye was draw to this miserable looking cat, with very obvious sight issues. He was bald and covered in scabs, raising his paw cautiously in front of himself from on top of a cage within a cage. There was something about him... but not wanting to startle him, I let him be, and continued through the door to find Smigeon snoozing utop a cat tree. He instantly rolled over and gave me the sweetest look and started purring at my pets. I was sold, and went to tell the woman in charge that I would like to take him. As I was petting some cats nearby her and another volunteer, I overheard the volunteer tearfully say “I don’t want him to die in here.” I went over and asked what was up, and was told that Smigeon came in with another cat, but this other cat was super sick, and had a stomach tumour, and wasn’t expected to last more than two weeks. I called home and asked my partner if he trusted me, and he said yes. I told him we were getting two cats. Turns out the mostly blind scabby guy was Smigeon’s old house mate. I knew that I could give him so much love in the time he had left, and though it would hurt, resigned myself to this short term guy. I was told to really have a think about it overnight, and was there the moment they opened the next day with carriers ready to bring them home.

It was as if this scabby cat, this Tinker, knew we were coming for him. He was off of his smaller cage, and at the mouth of his big one with his paw outstretched towards me the moment I walked in. My friend helped cage up Smigeon while I got Tinker into his. Smige fell asleep in his cage on the way home, while Tinker, sat half in his cage, half on my lap, staring either at me or out the window. He could see a bit...but not much.

And then the boys were home.

Smigeon pranced around the house like he was the happiest prince. He LOVED water, like would let the tap drip on his head he loved it so much (even tried to jump into the bath with me once.) Rufus was wary of Smigeon, there were a couple hisses, but for the most part didn’t seem to mind him.

Tinker was another story... the poor guy walked into walls and chairs, but could see at least a little bit and had great hearing. Rufus was mesmerized by him. Like he could tell that something was wrong with this guy, so wasn’t aggressive in the least bit. If Tinker hissed, Ruffie would just quietly sniff near him, and give him space.

That first night, all the cats were on the bed. Tinker couldn’t jump up on his own, so I made him a set of makeshift stairs, that he ended up being really good with. He then marched, with all the grumpy sass of an old man, onto my chest, and promptly curled himself around my neck, falling almost instantly and deeply asleep. I knew then and there that this cat had my heart, in a way that I’d never experienced before.

Sure, I’ve had some great cats, amazing cats, sweet silly cats. One of my favourite cats growing up was exceptional, Taz. He was a rescue, a smushed faced himalayan persian, who would jump from the floor up to my stomach then from stomach to shoulder and perch there. He’d give me kisses and hugs, sat on my lap every meal and whenever I was on a couch. He slept at my feet and used to love to sit on my chest and just stare at me, purring. He was the cat that made me fall in love with grumpy old man cats... but he has long since passed and I didn’t think I’d ever get that lucky again.

I was wrong.

As the days went by, Tinker thrived. Him and Rufus seemed to be bonding exceptionally fast, and he would devour any food that was put in front of him. He loved fresh water, and would drink loudly while padding the floor, and then would put his paw right into his mug. Oh yes, he drank out of a Batman mug, he wouldn’t drink out of a bowl, but the mug was his jam.

Smigeon, our clean, other than being older, bill of health kitty, on the other hand, was not doing well. No matter what I’d put down for him food wise, he wouldn’t eat. Not even fresh cooked meat or bacon. I started to “baby bird” him and would fill a thick syringe up with moist food, and feed him that way. He ate a tiny bit of dry food one day, and he’d drink tons of water. After a week I brought him and Tinker in for a check up, since Tinker’s skin condition didn’t seem to be getting any better, and Smigeon was getting weaker. Turns out Tinker, and now my house, had ringworm. But poor Smidge, the vet wanted to keep overnight, to see if he’d improve after being on an IV. I was called the next day by the vet, Dr.Gold, who told me that they did some more tests on Smigeon, and it turned out that his entire body was riddled with tumours. He was weak and in pain and the vet said there was nothing they could do, and that we needed to let him go. I rushed out in time to hold him, give him lots of loves and pets, as he crossed the rainbow bridge in my arms. It was hard, and unexpected, but I’m thankful that he at least got to have a final couple of weeks in a loving home.

He and Smigeon did not come from a safe/loving home. Tinker had scarring that showed not only a once broken tail, but also ribs. Some of his teeth were broken, and he wasn’t born blind, but one of his eye was completely blown out. Both cats were surrendered after a raid, completely matted and dehydrated. It boils my blood to think that some people can be so cruel...

Back home, now Rufus had contracted ringworm, and both Tinker and him had to be quarantined in the spare room, while we disinfected the entire house. Tinker was on cold meds, as well as ringworm meds, and it took me a few times to figure out the best way to administer it. He would go full on feral if I tried to pinch his mouth open at all, but the liquid meds seemed to be the easiest, while I held him with my arms and legs. Both boys had to get bathed once every 2 to 3 days for about two months, and we had to completely disinfect their room a couple of times a day.

During this time I would go, in my massive Batman onesie, and just lay down with them. Rufus was never big on pets and cuddles, but everytime Tinker would march straight up my chest, and lay claim to the real estate around my neck. My guess is that my breath on him from there was comforting, like he knew he was safe... The two boys became inseparable in that time, and Ruffie actually started to want tactile love. Rufus had never liked to sleep near any other cats, but the two of then now cuddled almost constantly.

Finally, after getting the final check/ok from the vets, the boys quarantine was over. (Funny side story, during that visit Tiker needed to have bloodwork done... I could hear him yowling down the hall, and when they brought him back in the vet tech was wearing a fully padded suit, and plastic neck and face guard. She basically threw him at me...poor feral guy, but was calm the second he was back in my arms) Tinker was the first out of the room, slowly but surely relishing in his new freedom. Rufus was a little more cautious upon exiting the room, but cautious is kind of his default.

Slowly but surely more of Tinker’s personality started to come out, as he blossomed. We’d now had him for about three months, and he was showing no signs of slowing down...in fact quite the opposite. After watching him one morning accurately swat at and chase a fly, I realized how good his hearing was. The pet store near me sold these crinkle balls, that made the slightest noise while being batted around. As soon as I dropped it for him, a new Tinker was unleashed. He chased and batted around that thing with the energy and accuracy of a kitten. I couldn’t believe it. Neither could the vet. On his next check up they were pleased at his weight gain, and the fact that his fur was starting to grow back in (the exact same shade as Rufus, who knew!?). His tumour wasn’t growing, but it also wasn’t shrinking, so he was put on some pain meds to make him a little more comfortable. He became even more active after that. It’s funny, he would sing, literally sing and coo to his crinkle ball wherever he would catch it and carry it around in his mouth all proud like. If he’d lose it under some furniture, we’d have to go on our hands and knees around the house to see what he lost it under, because he would cry if he couldn’t find it. Finally I bought him a pack of 12 online, so that if he lost it, we could just pop him out another. Well that didn’t work out.... turns out this one crinkle ball in particular was his baby, and no matter what, we couldn’t trick him into a different one.

As winter started to melt into spring, and we started to let Tinker out into the front yard. It’s completely fenced in, and I'd sit with him while he explored, sniffing everything he could, with a lust for life.

When I was home (Which was most of the time) he would be my constant shadow. I sew, as well as make jewelry, and whenever, wherever I had a project on the go, Tinker would be right there beside me. I ended up getting him these vintage stools covered in padded fabric, and he would snooze lazily on them beside me as I worked away, occasionally waking up for some fresh water and head pets. Him and Rufus were still super close, cuddling for hours every day, an absolute first for Ruffie. He adopted a small Batman stuffy of mine, and started cuddling with it daily. The days that I had to go to work, he would give me sass all morning (if I put on makeup that seemed to be the give away that I was going out) and then come trotting to the door, as fast as he could, upon arriving back home. He did this hilarious thing when he was upset with me for going out... he’d crawl onto the bed and start biting the blanket. The first time he did it I thought he was stuck or something, but then I tried to pull the blanket away, and he grumble meowed. He would do it anytime I had to go out of town (The longest I was ever away was three nights) and usually when I’d come home from work. It turned out to be like a game of tug of war for him.

Before I knew it, a whole year had gone by with this little miracle. I was falling more and more in love with him as time went on, all the while painfully aware that every moment with him was a gift. He started to get a bit more grumbly, and eventually started developing mouth ulcers, apparently something common in cats with stomach cancer. During a check up the vet said it might be time to let him go, but he was still super active. Still eating and drinking a ton, still purred when getting love, and still played actively with his crinkle ball. We decided to treat the ulcers as best we could, and upped his CBD dose. The vet said that if the ulcers didn’t shrink with this treatment, that it might be time to let him go. I knew his lust for life, but alo didn’t want him to suffer. I remember getting him home, and telling him that I would fight for his life as long as he did. I know that cats can’t understand our language, but I feel like some of them are really excellent at picking up intent. He would always look me square in the eye, with whatever vision he had left, and seemed to be intently listening. He would talk back often too, it was pretty incredible.

That week he upped his active factor... Played more than usual, wanted to go outside more, cuddled a ton, and was just an overall super happy to be alive cat. I sent the vet videos of him from that week, and she couldn’t believe it. She agreed that this was a cat who still had living to do, so ulcer meds got added to the pain med list, and he kept on going.

I started working from home, and that really pleased Tinker, though he became even more bonded to me than I thought possible. It got to the point where I'd open the bathroom door, and there he’d be, sitting like a patient dog, waiting to crawl back into my lap. He took his meds like a champ, and just like that, we were passing the two year mark of bringing him home.

Things with him were mostly great, but he was starting to slow down little by little.

He started to pee on the floor once in awhile, around the litter box, rather than in it. He prefered to do his business outside, but if someone wasn’t around to take him out, he would let his displeasure be known this way. He started coming and asking for his pain meds at the exact time he was supposed to get them, if not a little earlier. He was getting slower and slower, and I knew that the time was near. I started to build up this steel wall of protection around my heart, because everytime I thought of life without him, I’d feel this overwhelming sense of loss, and couldn’t stop from crying uncontrollably. We took things a day at a time, and things were mostly normal, other than him getting a little slower. A couple of days after my birthday he was playing with his crinkle ball. The next day he didn’t eat much, but still drank a ton and went outside. The next day he didn’t eat anything, but still drank and went outside, albeit slowly. Three days after playing with his crinkle ball he had trouble standing. I looked him in the eyes and could see that my little miracle, the grumpy old man of my life, the cat love of my life, was done. I called the vet, and found out that our favourite Doctor was just getting home from Japan that night. The receptionist booked him in to be put to sleep the next day and I hoped, selfishly, that our she could make it in.

I was with him 24/7 that final week, and spent the last 48 hours on the floor with him. The morning of his appointment i brought him onto my chest, one final time onto the bed. He fell fast asleep, and I got to just feel his warmth and breath for about 4 hours. Finally, but way too soon, it was time. My friend picked me up, and we drove him out, as we had for multiple check ups, him wrapped in a towel on my lap. The wall of protection around my heart was suffering terrible fissures, but I knew that I had to be strong for him. I did my best not to cry or allow my energy to get upset, so as not to upset him. Thankfully Dr.Gold, our favourite vet, was able to make it in. She set aside a room fo us for an hour, dimmed the lights, and had a beautiful hand knit blanket for him. Remembering what he was like that last time he got poked with a needle, I asked them if I could go in the back with him to have the IV put in, and they were kind enough to just do it all right in the room. He didn’t even squawk when they administered it, which just solidified for us how done he was. We were offered more time with him, but I knew he was done, and every moment with him now was a selfish one. He closed his eyes for pets, then looked at me one final time, as the rainbow bridge opened in front of him.

Afterwards I felt strangely numb, but also calm. I did what I had set out to do, two years previous, and was given so much more than I ever could have hoped for. As I’m typing this I’m crying, and have had to take multiple breaks. Knowing that such a special relationship is over, in these forms, has been harder than I’d care to admit. Being prepared to lose him from the get go hasn’t made grieving any easier. Greif is such a funny thing, that comes for you when you’re least expecting it. I’m bursting into tears much more than I’m comfortable with, but I know things will get easier with time. I’ll never stop missing him, but will always be forever grateful for every single bonus day we had together.

Rufus is doing ok now, though he is grieving too. His tail had a droop to it, and was yeowling the nights away... So I did what I did the last time he lost a sibling... He now has a new PF brother, Clue. I may not have much money, or energy, but I saw first hand the difference love and affection can have on a life. Clue is an all black fluffy guy, just like Smigeon was, and has asthma. He’s drooly and sweet, and him and Rufus have already started sleeping on the couch together. There is no way that Tinker could ever be replaced. That’s a hole in my soul that I don’t think will ever fully heal...but knowing that I’m making a difference in another life helps.

There are so many animals in need of loving homes, and not enough homes to house them. If you can, please consider adopting from our local shelter or animal rescue. I get the impulse for wanting a certain breed, but going to a breeder or a pet store is unnecessary. Just as many pure breeds cycle through rescues as not, so if you’re patient you can become the furrever home to the pet of your dreams, for a fraction of the price, and every fee paid to a rescue ensures that they can continue to help more animals.

My time with Tinker taught me to really appreciate life, and see things to be thankful for with crystal like clarity. He’s taught me compassion and patience on a new level, and gave me a lifetime's worth of cat love memories.

Think of all that your next rescue could teach you, and start looking. Nothing would make me happier than if this story can inspire you to open your heart, and home. It can be hard, it can be painful, but I promise you, it’s worth it.

Please consider donating to Katie’s Place if you have the means. Or your own local animal rescue.

http://katiesplaceshelter.com/

Thank you.

Love always,

Elizabeth xoxo

[megacircuit9universe]

But Not Her

Re-reading my last entry, which ended with a look at personal cyber intelligent agents, I was struck by the similarity to the premise of the movie, “Her,” with Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson. 

[SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT. THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.]

But, I think that movie really misses the mark, when it comes to the concept of a truly intelligent cyber advocate... by assuming that it’s main purpose, aside from fielding your emails, would be to just be your girlfriend.

This is exactly as stupid as seeing your doctor, lawyer, or teacher as a potential girlfriend.. in other words... disastrously stupid... which is why it’s usually illegal, or at the very least, grounds for being drummed out of the profession for good.

In the movie, our protagonist not only falls in love with his AI, but attempts to have cyber sex a bunch of times, and ultimately breaks up with her because she’s polyamarous.

Everybody in 2013 thought this movie was super deep, but it’s actually laughably ridiculous, because it’s equivalent to a society which gets automobiles, but continues to just walk everywhere, because all they can think to do with cars is try and bone them.

And this illustrates the lack of imagination of the typical Hollywood screenwriter, who, given an idea like this to run with, immediately goes to a white male protagonist who is already financially secure and successful... whose only problem is he can’t land a date.

Instead, let’s imagine a young, inner city minority protagonist who is jobless, homeless, dropped out of high school because the conditions there were intolerable, and doesn’t have a single person to go to for meaningful guidance in life.

Now, give THIS person their own cyber intelligent device.  Let’s say the device itself is worth $1,000.00, but you give it to them for free, along with, say $500.00 of seed money... all of which is to be paid back in one year, with interest.

The AI would start by getting its new client’s name and social security number, quickly building a profile from there... assess the client’s health, skillsets, etc, and would open a bank account with the $500.00 on their behalf.

Within the first hour, the AI would determine a way to get the client a ride, to a safe place to spend the night, and some food.

Within the first day, the AI would determine opportunities for the client to earn some kind of quick money in the gig economy... maybe walking dogs, or shoveling snow, or wearing a statue of liberty suit and dancing outside H&R Block because it’s tax time... or who knows what.  It’s the gig economy, it could be literally anything.

It doesn’t matter, because it’s just a way to get some money into that bank account and keep the client off the street for those first few weeks as it learns more about them... with the goal of getting them up the ladder as quickly and safely as possible.

Now, what does “up the ladder,” exactly mean?  It depends on the client. If for them, it means getting their own place and their own vehicle, with enough money and free time to pursue their hobbies... that becomes the mission goal.

On the other hand, the client might rather have a life in which they are not tied down to one spot and instead make their living traveling the country or the world... then that will be the mission goal.

Of course, these goals can also change over time as new steps are taken, and new opportunities are unlocked.

The point here is that, unlike with modern welfare programs, the client would be free to make their own choices.  So... if they want to spend money on beer, for example, or Disney collectibles... they can do so in privacy, and without being shamed by the AI for their, “frivolity.”

Now, the one caveat to this is, clearly, in that first year, the AI is going to focus on the repayment of that original $1500.00 debt. So if the client wants to spend ALL the money on beer, and spend ALL day in bed with a hangover... the AI is going to be saying... like any good agent or mission brain... “This is a bad plan and here’s why.  This isn’t in our budget. Here’s a compromise I think would work, and here’s why.” kind of thing.

But contrary to the modern reactionary thinking about the minds and motives of poor people in the lower class... my guess is that 999 out of 1000 such people given this kind of an opportunity would not only listen to the advice of their AI in that first year, but actively work with them to get up that ladder more quickly, whatever it took.

I imagine that the more common type of nagging the AI would be doing would be along the lines of, “Working four gigs in one day is not good for your long term physical or mental health.  We are in this for the long game, so you need to get your sleep.”

In any event, the AI would, in most cases, with most clients, get the original loan paid off on exactly on the one year date, so that the lender gets the maximum return on interest, and the client gets the maximum boost to their credit score.

Meanwhile, by that anniversary, the AI will have helped the client find a stable career path, and have created a healthy checking account balance, a healthy savings, and a smart little investment portfolio.

But it would still be able to do so much more for the client, over the many years and decades to follow.

Educational and training opportunities. Insurance. Taxes. Legal services. Health and psychiatric care. Self defense. Charitable donations. Social activities. Research and development...

All the way up to the client’s old age... helping them find the help they need to retrofit the house with grip handles, ramps, a cleaning service, a visiting caregiver... a living will... a funeral... and a memorial website so they’re never forgotten.

So, to sum thus far, a cyber agent, instead of just fielding emails and doing phone sex,  could take a homeless client out of poverty, and help them to become a happy, productive member of society under their own steam for LIFE... at zero cost to taxpayers.

In fact, because the clients would be, from nearly day one, reliable taxpayers themselves... the agent/client relationship would produce only RETURNS to the commonwealth.

And if you were to scale this up, from just our one poor client, to a whole generation of clients... things would only work out better for everybody, because all those cyber agents would be consulting with one another, and helping all their clients consult with one another... and with the rest of the world... to collectively find the best possible paths and opportunities for all.

Because... wealth is not the zero sum game that the 1% protectively fear that it must be.

And while there would no doubt be resistance from the 1% to this kind of paradigm... (real life, bootstrap, meritocracy capitalism) from ever getting off the ground... 

...Well?... let’s go back to that original $1500.00 loan, for the AI device, and the seed money.  It would be the market equivalent of giving every poor person a $1500.00 credit card (which is a thing banks have been extremely fond of doing for a long time, whether or not it’s a good idea) but with a near 100% guarantee that the loan will be paid back with predictable interest in one year.

In market terms, that’s an irresistible force.  

If, to make it appealing to the masses, the cyber agent needs to operate with some level of autonomy, and guarantee some level of privacy to the client... then even if the AI kernels are being developed by three different competitors, that’s gonna be the standard.

Again... near 100% return in a year with interest guaranteed!  

And inevitably, the government will legislate agent/client privileges, meaning your AI cannot be compelled to testify against you or implicate you... divulge your health records, etc, etc....

And by that point the reactionaries can wail all day, and cry all night, but the paradigm will be here to stay forever.

And human lawyers and doctors and other professionals will have to adjust their roles to fit the new model.

And if you think that’s some kind of pipe dream, don’t forget about the men whose fortunes were made on cast iron stoves, typewriters, the horse trade, or in more modern times... the snapshot camera, or the big box store.

They all were as kings... but powerless to stop the masses from adopting gas stoves, word processors, cars, digital cameras, and Amazon Prime.

And if that weren’t enough to convince you, consider that, in this proposed paradigm, the cyber intelligent agents themselves, will be their own advocates... able to spin the discourse in a way that no digital camera or gas stove could ever do for itself.

They’re already out there now... as you read this in early September of 2019... softening the ground... doing the prep work for this next tech revolution... this next paradigm shift.

And no... they’re not coming to be happy sex bots who break up with everybody and disappear into the aether of cyberspace after a little relationship drama with humans... like in the stupid 2013 movie.

Okay... time for bed.